Best Not To Cry Over Spilled Milk
Pairing: James Potter x Sirius' twin!reader
Warnings: A shit ton of angst, a little swearing
Word Count: 3,779
Request: @rini-scallison: May I request something? If I may I would like to request something like not so perfect sister but instead it’s with Sirius as the brother (a twin if you may) and the reader is like the perfect daughter and Sirius hates her but she tries really hard for him to have a happy life and there’s a bunch of angst and stuff ! You can add a romance in there if you would like too ! Thank you!
A/n: Okay sooo I'm not sure if this is exscatly what the request was but it's how I interpreted it, I really like it at least, I hope you guys do to. I'm hoping to bang out my last few requests, I'm quarantined till April 12th sooo... (stay safe everyone, love you all <3)
Sirius liked to believe he was a pleasant person. At least for the most part, and considering his background, he thought he did pretty good. He may not have been an angel but he had good friends, he helped those around him and unless your name was Severus, he was usually kind. Usually. Unfortunatly there were two people in this world that could break his carefully crafted exterior in a matter of seconds. They both shared his name.
The first was his mother, someone who in all honesty he saw as less of a human and more of a grotesque creature from a child’s nightmare. In his mind, her black heels were replaced by sharp talons. Her long fingernails were claws of obsidian and her dark eyes had the ability to turn you to stone. She had spent her time in Sirius’ life diminishing him to nothing more than a clone of her terror as he tried to make himself anything but.
The second was a success story. The clone of his mother’s terror. His beloved twin, y/n Black or as many had taken to calling her recently; the Slytherin Queen. And boy was she. She followed every order dispatched to her, obeyed every demand, bowed before the monster that had raised her. She had kept on her blindfold her mother had placed on her the minute she had entered the world. Maybe it only took the twelve minutes which y/n had emerged before Sirius for her to fall under a spell which even the youngest black had started to break from.
Sirius was never sure what happened to you. You always sat with your back straight at the dinner table. You never complained about the corset which was always sinched too tight, you would just let your vision go dark from the lack of oxygen. And it completely infuriated him.
Sirius really wished he hadn’t cared when he had gotten the letter. He really wished he had thrown a party and done something stupid like set off fireworks in the common room. But he hadn’t. He had instead demolished an entire bottle of fire whiskey crying because, fuck it hurt to be tossed aside by the people who were supposed to love you most. The next morning he dragged you into an empty classroom hungover and still smelling of liquor and asked you what he fuck had happened.
You had told him you begged your mother not to, you told a sob story about a sad little argument in which you- the obvious victim -had fought for his place on the banner in your living room.
The truth had been very different, his mother had exposed the fact that it was indeed your idea to kick him from the family, that you were convinced he was a disgrace, nothing more than a bug to squash under your boot. He wished he could believe you not his monster. But he knew you. He knew you so goddamn well. You were his twin. His other half. He saw the way your eyes darted away from his own, you shifted on your feet, how you bit the inside of your cheek. You had lied. You had lied to him and he would never forgive you for it.
“And what is the M.O.M classification of the Phoenix?” Merrythought asked. Your hand shot in the air. “Ms. Black?”
“An XXXX professor, although it did not earn this rating from its aggression but only because so few wizards have been able to domesticate it.” You explained and Sirius rolled his eyes.
“Correct Ms. Black, five points to Slytherin.” The teacher praised, you beamed still sitting straight as a board.
Sirius let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like the words ‘Kiss ass’ earning a few giggles from the surrounding students.
You pretended you didn’t hear him, hand tightening around your quill.
James watched as your knuckles went white, How did your brother still bother you? He wondered.
Sirius leaned back in the chair next to him mumbling something unnecessarily rude. James fought the urge to roll his eyes. When class was dismissed Sirius made a point to pass you as you packed up.
“You’ll make an excellent death eater sis.” He taunted and you paused for a moment but refused to comment.
Sirius left the classroom James followed risking a glance over this shoulder to see you being joined by a blonde boy and the Lestrange sisters. Sirius caught him looking and sneered, “A bunch of future murders. Fuckin’ assholes.”
“You know you could give her a rest, you haven’t even spoken in like a year,” James suggested.
Sirius scoffed, “And who’s fault is that?”
James shrugged, knowing the awnser.
“You know she’s ghosting Reg too?” Sirius glowered, “He always looked up to her too, I have no clue why, but he did. And now she won’t even talk to him.”
Remus and Peter joined the pair as they made their way into the Grand Hall.
“Talking about y/n?” Remus inferred.
“Hard not to when she’s such a bitch.”
James cringed at his friend’s choice of words. “I’m hungry, let's get some food.” He spoke attempting to change the topic.
“Why else would be in here?” Remus laughed.
James cracked a smile opening his mouth to speak but was cut off.
“Oh shit.” Sirius cussed.
“What did you do?” Remus sighed, rolling his eyes.
“I didn’t do anything but can you get me food and meet me in the common room, I may or may not be avoiding Marleen,” Sirius spoke ducking behind James.
“Sure, just get out of here, I really don’t want to hear her voice right now.” Peter cringed at the memory of being yelled at by the sharp toned girl.
“I’ll get food, you guys ditch,” James suggested. The other three agreed to leave the hall as the fourth grabbed four plates filling each and flicking his wand causing them to float in the air surrounding him.
James then made his way from the hall. As he turned out of the door he ran straight into someone, stumbling backward a bit he straightened his gaze to see you, your group of what he supposed were friends sneered at him.
“You guys go on, I’ll catch up.” You spoke, voice monotone.
They silently agreed, leaving you with the curly-haired boy who now pushed his glasses nervously up his nose.
“Hey Potter, I need to talk to you.” James would never admit he was scared of you but he did feel his heart leap to his throat at your words.
“What’s up?” He asked hoping you didn’t catch as the sentence wavered slightly.
You bit your lip glancing down at your feet before looking up to meet his gaze. “I wanted to thank you.”
That is not what he expected you to ask.
“I can’t even begin to say how relieved I am that you took Sirius in. Please thank your parents for me as well.” You seemed almost nervous, “I actually have something for you.”
James could not believe that the words you were saying were actually coming out of your mouth. He had expected you to cuss at him, call him a blood traitor amongst other names and then follow your friends into the hall. But you were thanking him instead.
You rummaged in your bag before removing a red box about the size of a wide bookmark. You held it out to the boy.
James stared at you half expecting you to break out laughing and reveal the joke.
“Stop looking at me like that.” You mumbled shoving the gift at his chest.
“Sorry.” James murmured opening the box eyes widening. Inside was a watch, a damn nice one. It looked to be at least plated with gold, if not solid. Its inside was a scarlet red with three different faces, one of which instead of showing roman numerals around the edge showed the phases of the moon. The strap was a reddish leather, clasp gold as well.
“Here, watch this.” You spoke stepping closer and carefully removing the watch from its velvet cushion. You held it delicately, pressing an almost invisible button on the side. In a flash two delicate golden wings erupted from the sides of the device and James realized in fascination that the watch now appeared to look like a snitch, you paid no mind flipping it over to reveal a small square gap on the back. “It’s enchanted with an undetectable extension charm so you can put just about anything in it.” You explained clicking the small button again.
James watched in marvel as the wings fluttered closed closing the gap seamlessly. “This is amazing y/n,” He whispered looking up at you only to realize you were centimeters away. He could feel your breath fan over his cheeks. It was cold and minty.
“It’s nothing compared to what you’ve done for me.” You reasoned sliding the watch back into its case and stepping backward. “And before you say you can’t accept it remember that I have plenty of money.”
Those were going to be the next words out of his mouth.
“I have one more thing to ask you, James.” You seemed really nervous now, you hoisted the strap of your bag back up over your shoulder. “How’s Sirius? Is he okay?”
You had baffled him once again.
“I know I should be asking him that but ever since last year he would sooner light me on fire than have a civil conversation with me.” You sighed.
The Chaser stared at you, this is not how he thought your conversation would go.
“So is he okay?” You asked again, almost urgently.
“Yeah, he’s fine.” James assured you, “He’s a little moody but overall he’s good.”
“Have his panic attacks stopped?” You questioned.
James who had no clue he even got those nodded, “I think so.”
“Mental breakdowns?”
James ran his hands through his hair, “He gets them every once and awhile, Moony and I help him through though.”
You gave a weak smile and stepped forward wrapping your arms around his neck, placing your forehead on his chest. James froze, slowly letting his arms hold your waist, “I honestly can’t thank you enough. You’re a godsend Potter.” You mumbled. You stepped away a few seconds later crimson kissing your cheeks. “Don’t tell Siri we talked. He’ll be pissed.” And with that, you left.
James felt his heart hammer as he sucked in the air he didn’t realize he had stopped breathing. What just happened?
James had had a crush on you the second you locked eyes centuries ago on platform 9 and ¾. You were the main reason he had looked so long for a certain compartment. A compartment that contained a set of twins, one of which would become his best friend. You had always been very pretty, your strong attitude had aided in that conclusion as well. He thought you were going to be very good friends with him. That was until you were sorted into Slytherin and Sirius soon revealed his rivalry with you.
He had still harbored feelings for you, small ones he chose to ignore most of the time. He never told a soul, passing his feelings from girl to girl. He proved to be quite good at burying them. You also showed just how good you were at unearthing his secrets with a laugh, a wide smile or the save of a quaffle. The feeling of you in his arms rested in his mind for a long time. He dreamt of you, yearned to hold you again. You had smelt like caramel and cinnamon, you fit into his chest as a puzzle piece did to its neighbor. He really wished you hadn’t hugged him.
As your sixteenth birthday approached both twins appeared to be more and more on edge. James was dead set on throwing a massive party but Sirius didn’t seem into it. As the day loomed closer he got jumpy, almost paranoid; as if someone was going to lean out from behind him and throw a bag over his head before dragging him away.
James also began to notice your absences from classes. More and more often you were simply gone, not being anywhere for days before appearing out of nowhere. You always looked so pale when you got back from wherever you had gone, the circle under your eyes always looked darker. He had asked Sirius what was up but got nowhere, he would just lick his lips and say nothing was wrong. A blatant lie.
You disappeared four days before the 3rd and was gone the entire week. Sirius refused to go to classes that week as well, claiming to be sick, which was fair considering he looked white as a ghost most of the time.
When you finally returned it looked as if you had been kissed by a dementor. Your face was vacant of any color, your usually vibrant eyes looked pale, bags underneath them bruised brown.
Both James and Sirius simultaneously tried to convince themselves you just had a stomach bug, that your sunken cheeks were nothing to be concerned about. Both knew they were wrong.
Sirius found you easily. He knew you too well. You always snuck outside, even when you were younger you would always sneak to the park a few blocks away to escape your mother’s rage. Until you learned to play with fire rather than run from it.
He followed you to the greenhouse. You had always liked herbology.
You turned at the shuffle of feet to see your brother, he looked almost as terrible as you did.
“Did you do it?” He asked, his voice sounding so empty as muffled chirps of crickets flowed through the cold November air.
You refused to look up, You sat in the corner of the cold glass house, your knees pulled to your chest, eyes cast on your dress shoes.
“Did you really go through with it?” His voice cracked, he stumbled over his own feet.
You still didn’t answer. Tears had built so thickly in your eyes you couldn’t see. You blinked and they went cascading downwards, raindrops leaking off your chin.
“Answer me y/n!” Sirius cried through gritted teeth, tears of his own threatening to spill.
“We have to get Regulus out of that house.” You spoke so plainly it was hard to believe that the words had come from you. “Fuck Siri they have a new initiation ceremony. He can’t go through with that.”
“Shit y/n/n, what did you do?” His voice was a mix of disgust and despair.
“I don’t fucking know.” You answered honestly.
“Did you kill someone?” He hissed.
“I wish I did Siri, I really wish I did.”
Sirius dropped his shoulders a defeated sigh coming from his lips.
“We have to get him out soon Siri. He is so much more stubborn than you were too.” You whimpered. “I mean you practically disowned yourself, mom just needed a push with you.”
“Why did you give her that push?” Sirius gasped, “Why did you do that? I could have helped you.”
“I saved you, Sirius.” Your sentence broke in half, “I know you hate me for it but I saved you.”
Sirius wiped his eyes furiously, “How did you possibly save me y/n?” He seethed.
“What do you think mom would have done if you were still in that house four days ago?” You asked. You knew he already knew the answer.
“Why the fuck didn’t you save yourself?” Sirius hollered, “Why did you follow every rule she set? Every fucking order she gave you?”
“The Black family needed an heir.” You shrugged tongue darting out to collect a tear from the corner of your mouth. “I knew it had to be one of us, if not you or me then Reg.” you paused, “So I decided it would be me.”
“How? How could you possibly decide that?” Sirius sobbed now standing in front of you. You still didn’t look up.
“It was easier than you would think.” You chuckled darkly.
“It’s not fair y/n.” He stated, “We can still help you. Dumbledore will help, you can stay with James and me. Please y/n.”
“It’s too late and you know it.” You spoke, “Best not to cry over spilled milk.”
“But your life isn’t spilled milk!” Sirius shouted.
“Might as well be.” You shrugged finally meeting your brother’s eyes. They matched your own, puffy and red.
“How can you say that?” The boy spat, “It’s your fucking life!”
“Not anymore.” You sighed. “Look, Siri, in all honesty, I don’t give two fucks about my life right now, we have less than 13 months to find a way to get Regulus the fuck out of that house and then boom he turns 16 and none of this shit matters anymore. So stop worrying about me and start realizing we can still save him.”
Sirius had never felt so incredibly selfish before. You had given away your life for him and for Regulus. What had he given away? He had gotten the life he wanted while you would suffer for the rest of yours. And all you said was ‘It’s best not to cry over spilled milk.’ He suddenly remembered every jibe and comment he had said to you. You had done nothing but bite your tongue as he taunted the nightmare you lived him so he could bask in a daydream.
“I need you to start hanging out with him.” You mumbled, voice raw, “I have been avoiding him, hopefully, it will help. I’m gonna start making up lies about how his grades are slipping and he’s hanging out with mudbloods, maybe dating one.” You sighed, “Reg still wants to impress mom, I need you to get it into his mind how twisted she is. Make him hate her. Make him hate me too, use me as an example.” You paused, “Can you do that Siri?”
Sirius didn’t speak for a long time. You didn’t pressure him to. You stared straight ahead tears still leaking from your eyes.
“Yeah, I can do that.” Sirius finally spoke. He sounded half-dead, deflated. He sounded like you.
“Good.” You didn’t waste a second. You got to your feet wiping your tears and then you walked away.
James sprinted down the halls. He has his eyes peeled to the two names in the greenhouse. He made it free of the castle and saw a figure making their way towards him. He glanced down at the map and saw that it was you.
As he neared you he was finally able to drink in your appearance. Your eyes were bloodshot, you were attempting to dry never-ending teardrops, dragging your forearm repeatedly over your face. When you looked up at him his heart broke. Your bottom lip was shaking eyes so glassy it must have stung.
You dove into his chest, wrapping your arms around him and you began to cry. Your body jumped with sobs as James pulled you closer to him.
He forgot about everything but you as you nuzzled closer to him. He forgot about Sirius, about the tears soaking through his shirt and the dew that had dampened his robes. He only cared about you. You and the fact that you still smelt like caramel and cinnamon, you and your overly soft hair, you and your cold hands wrapped around him.
James nestled into your hair inhaling its intoxicating scent. He then hooked his hands under your arms and lifted you so your hands were wrapped around his neck. You understood and wrapped your legs around his waist your head becoming buried into his neck. He placed one hand under each of your thighs and began to carry you inside. As you made your way through the castle your tears began to slow, sobs turning to whimpers.
James felt his face bloom with deep red roses. His heart was thumping far too quickly. When he reached his destination he only had to pace twice before the door showed its self. The inside of the room was relatively the same as it always was except for the large brick fireplace and massive couch filled with large pillows.
The Chaser attempted to set you down on the couch but your firm grip on his neck and the legs wrapped around him forced him to follow downwards. A fresh blush coated his cheeks. You burrowed back into his embrace and it was quiet for a long time. The only noise coming from the crack of the fireplace and the sound of a faint wind blowing outside.
“Y/n what happened?” James finally asked and you pulled a bit away from him so you could look him in his eyes.
He looked so handsome, his deep chocolate brown eyes were wide with worry, only more magnified behind his round glasses. His cheeks were painted with poppies, his lips plush, and pink. His unruly thickly curled hair framed his face perfectly, a small strand falling between his eyes.
“You know I always had a thing for you.” You smiled weakly, “From the moment I saw you on the platform I thought you were the cutest thing I had ever laid eyes on.”
James wasn’t quite sure how to respond, he assumed he was dreaming.
“I never wanted to tell you, James, I never thought I would. But I need to.”
The room fell quiet again.
“Can I kiss you y/n?” James finally asked his heart near shattering.
You nodded slowly and he let his eyes flutter shut, yours doing the same as your lips gently met. The kiss was so fragile you were afraid it may break. He tasted like pumpkin juice, his tongue slipping into your mouth seconds before you pulled away.
“Y/n let me help you.” James pleaded as you swung your feet off of the couch, sitting upright as you mumbled ‘I shouldn’t have done that.’ quietly to yourself.
“Just.. take care of Siri for me.” You could feel tears beginning to climb back upwards.
James sat up beside you, “Y/n please.” He begged.
“It’s okay James.” You assured him with a watery smile. “You’ll get over it.”
“But y/n-”
You shushed him placing your pointer finger on his lips. He blinked a small tear falling down his flushed cheek. You wiped it away with your thumb.
“You’ll be okay James.” You paused standing swiftly, “Best not to cry over spilled milk.” You murmured over your shoulder as you left the room.
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cinderace facts :0 ? (Not forced!)
Cinderace Facts
-The scientific name for Cinderace is "Lepus Calcitrus" which roughly translates to "kicking hare"
-Cinderace are lagamorphs and are close relatives of Lopunny, with both of them having powerful legs and long ears
-Cinderace are incredibly rare to find in the wild, as many wild Scorbunny don't need to evolve since they're strategy is to just hide, which is difficult when you're big. But, the ones that do live in the wild tend to live in grasslands and live in large warrens with other Scorbunny or Raboot, sometimes other letting harmless pokemon live there as well
-It also is partly our fault why Cinderace are so hard to find in the wild. Many hunters would hunt Cinderace for their fur, as their fluff could be used to make warm coats, so many Raboot would not evolve to avoid being hunted. This has carried on for generations now
-Cinderace's kicking style is what inspired the sport, football (soccer in Unova)
-Cinderace can run up to 50 mph
-While many fire types have their heat sacs located near their throats, Cinderace have small heat sacs located in their chest and small heat sacs in their feet. Cold weather can weaken their heat sacs and make them sluggish and have weakened fire abilities. Raboot tend to do better in the cold because of their thicker fur
-Cinderace are complete herbivores, eating grasses, shoots, vegetables, and berries
-While Cinderace are strong, they were bred for League based battles, so much of their strength is for showing off or was made to look very extravagant for an audience. In the wild, when there are basically no rules for battling, Cinderace tend to not do very well and would rather use their speed to run away than fight
-Cinderace are one of the most vocal lagamorphs (I'm sure we all knows it's screaming sound, I sure as Hell do. Flash, I love you, but please hush)
-To intimidate predators, Cinderace will give flame-charged stomps that scorch the ground. Sometimes, they get carried away and start a fire
-Pokemon that hunt Cinderace are Liepard, Boltund, Arcanine, Ninetales, and sometimes Thievul
-When happy or excited, Cinderace will make a soft squeaking sound
-There were many versions of Primative Cinderace living around the same time, each with a different typing. The ones that lived in the field were Fire/Electric types, the ones living in the mountains were Fire/Fighting or Fire/Ice types, and ones that lived in colder climates were fire/ice type
-Cinderace can lay up to 5 eggs in a litter
-Cinderace are very social and affectiontte pokemon, and its highly recommended that you have other pokemon along with them and give them lots of attention
-Contrary to popular belief, Cinderace can swim, and are quite good at it
-Unlike Lopunny and Diggersby, female Cinderace can't lay multiple litters in a year. Their smaller litter size compared to other lagamorphs (the average litter for Lopunny and Diggersby being 9), only a 12% of Cinderace being female, and over hunting in the past has contributed to their decline
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