#quit my job because it was making me feel like I was gonna kill myself

[bumblebeepixie]

[voiceshearingyouloud]

Me when my life is trauma and mental illness all the way down but I am determined to make something good of it in the end

[thecuriousquest]

Hole in the Wall

Tag List: @issamomma @repostingmyfavs @chickennugnugnug

Warnings: Yandere themes, NSFW, lines blurred between dubcon and noncon, vaginal sex, degradation, spanking, possessive tendencies, slapping at the end, tearing of clothes

Summary: Bakugou finds you stuck in a wall. 🫠

Checkout my Master List here.

—————————————————————————

“Come on. Quit playing around, dumbass. We have a job to do.”

“Bakugou…wait, I really am stuck!”

He grumbles something and wraps his arms around your waist, trying to pull you out. You can’t get out of the hole because of your breasts being in the way.

“Aw, that hurts!”

You hear him huff on the other side. “Well, the fuck do you want me to do? I can’t blast a hole through the wall. The bricks will kill you.”

“Try pushing me out through the other side.”

Bakugou blushes, realizing what you’re asking him. He crouches low, and trying to avoid looking at your ass and what’s between your legs, he turns his head to the side. He pushes against you with his shoulder.

You feel the rough brick scraping your skin, and this hurts even worse than when he was trying to pull you towards him.

“Aw!”

Your sharp cry of pain forces Bakugou to turn towards the sound, a hero reflex. His eyes land exactly where he didn’t want them to. He can’t help looking at how the black latex of your costume molds to your fine ass. The part that’s covering your most modest area completely at eye level with him.

He can’t help his wandering hands.

You feel finger tips graze over your clothed pussy, and you gasp, your thighs stiffening.

“Katsuki, what-“

You feel a hard smack against the crest of your ass. You wriggle your hips as much as you can and push against the brick wall beneath you. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! What are you doing? Just, help me get out of here!”

“It’s funny. I really was just trying to help you out, but now, I just can’t help myself. I mean, look at you. Stupid enough to get stuck in a hole. It’s almost like you want this.”

You feel him tearing the latex of your hero costume off of your body, your butt fully exposed to him now. His hands are rough from the life of fighting crime and very warm with the beginnings of his quirk.

“No, no, wait, you can’t! This isn’t right! Katsuki, we’re in public!”

“Nobody’s gonna fucking find us in this back alley. Hey! Anyone out there?! We need help! Please, anyone?!” His shouts for help are mocking, condescending to your current circumstances. You know he’s teasing you, and it riles you with anger.

You kick you feet, very aware of the toe of your combat boots coming into contact with the brick. Your bare knees taking the brunt of abrasions as they scrape against the surface.

Damnit, why didn’t you ever think of getting a costume that would be harder to rip? You’ve never encountered this problem before, but your outfit is way too convenient for him.

You feel large hands paw at your thighs, prying them apart. He steps in between your kicking legs and nuzzles himself up against your slit. The squirming of your ass against his covered cock makes him harder, the friction causing precome to leak out. He pulls himself free, and you feel the slippery head of his dick right behind you.

A tear slips from your eye as he impales you with his cock, not taking the slightest time to prepare you.

“So fucking tight. Who would’ve thought with the costume you run around in. Fucking tease. Bet you do this kind of shit to all the guys. You really even stuck in there, or are you just doing this for attention?”

His laugh makes you want to die. You wish you could get out of this hole so you can punch him in the throat.

His hands spread your plump ass cheeks even further apart, making the penetration even deeper, making your pained whines turn into sloppy mewls. You want him to stop, so why does it feel so good?

You hang your head in shame. You feel like you shouldn’t be enjoying this, but there’s this little spot in your walls that he keeps rubbing against.

His fingertips press deeper into your ass cheeks, and you’re sure there will be bruises later. He laughs at your pleasured sounds.

“Uh huh, someone’s having fun. Little fucking slut. Some fuckin’ eye candy in that tight ass body suit. No idea how much I’ve always wanted to tear that little number off of you and let you walk home covered in my marks.”

He sets off his quirk against your bruised bottom right where he’s holding your cheeks open. The small explosion causes a nasty, naughty sound to emerge from your lips.

“Oh, God, Bakugou!”

“Yeah? You like that? Fuckin’ pain whore. Look at you begin’ for me. Bet you like having your hair pulled too.”

Another sharp smack cracks down against your backside, this time, paired with an explosion that feels worse than the last one.

Your hands fall limply in front of you. You feel heavy with all of the stimulation. It’s as if rocks are weighing down your body, and you release that pent up feeling between your legs.

It all feels like a rush, like a tidal wave crashing over you from head to toe.

And then Bakugou huffs one loud chuckle at your reaction to his sexual pleasures.

“Came that easy, huh? That’s alright. I’ve got plenty of time to make it happen again.”

Oh, and he does. He fucks into you, hips pumping fast. Each time he ruts into you, he groans with excitement. His wandering hands can’t help but squeeze that fine ass underneath his fingertips. Everything about you is wonderful to him. It’s as if you were made for him.

You come just before he does as he gives one last thrust before bottoming out. He pulls away from you, letting go of your ass as he adjusts his clothes. He watches a mix of his and your come spilling out of your throbbing pussy.

Bakugou decides to snap a quick picture, stuffing his phone back in his pants when he’s done.

“Alright, you really want out? I’ll have to call someone.”

“No! Just, use your quirk! I don’t want anyone to see me like this! I’ll cover my head. I don’t care if the bricks fall.”

“Tch. Fine, but I warned you.”

The brick explodes around you, and you shield your head with your arms. To your amazement, only a small clump of brick hits your shoulder. It doesn’t even really hurt. The majority of the brick being thrown forward instead of crashing down against you.

You stand up and turn to look at the explosion hero. What do you say to someone who just had their way with you while you were stuck in a fucking wall?

Instead of saying anything, you slap him across the face…hard. You feel a sharp burning in your palm, and you really want to shake it out, but you’re too stubborn to show him that you’re in pain from inflicting it.

He grins at you with lascivious intent. He grabs your hair, pinning you against the wall right next to the rubble.

“So, you wanna play? That’s fine. I’ve got all the time in the world for you.”

[feelrush]

JADE CITY.

— dialogue prompts from jade city by fonda lee.

“what’s going on? you seem out of sorts tonight.”

“send me the bill for the damage. i’ll take care of it.”

“tell me, my friend. have you had any other trouble around here lately?”

“sitting out here alone? something the matter?”

“how am i still alive when they’re all dead?”

“what did you come for at this hour, anyway? spit it out.”

“you should have killed that man!”

“i fell asleep waiting for you, and in return you scare the shit out of me. where were you?”

“you’re the most important thing in the world to me.”

“i’ve forgotten the past. everything’s forgiven, now that you’re back.”

“ah, what to choose, pain or failure?”

“where are you taking me?”

“cancel the rest of the day’s meetings. i’ll be in my office.”

“wait here and don’t move until you’re called.”

“i’m sure you’re wondering why you’ve been brought here.”

“may i… ask a candid question?”

“i’ll wait for an answer, but not for long.”

“you have to pay attention every fucking second because i can’t always be there if there’s trouble, understand?”

“sometimes the old ways are not without wisdom.”

“can you drive? can you handle a gun?”

“i keep seeing you, but i don’t know your name.”

“do you have anything to drink? it’s still hot inside.”

“whatever it is you decide to do, i’ll support you. i’ve told you that before, and it hasn’t changed.”

“i’m afraid i’m paying you this visit out of a sense of great concern.”

“there needs to be a balance of power.”

“what do they think we are? hired thugs?”

“why the fuck are you here?”

“i knocked but you must not have heard me.”

“you look as if you could use a massage.”

“i visit here too often; it’s not safe for you.”

“i have a gun, and i know how to use it. i won’t be a burden. i can take care of myself.”

“we’ll talk about this later.”

“from now on, i’ll be sure to call out hello to you when i’m still well out of knife range.”

“what can i do to help?”

“if anyone tried to kill you, you deserved it.”

“what is wrong with you? you don’t know who you are anymore.”

“give me your blessing, or condemn me, but don’t wash your hands of me.”

“not ready to die yet. gonna quit while i’m ahead.”

“you work for me now, you understand?”

“i’m disappointed you didn’t accept my offer.”

“we can plan a wedding, a big one. pick a date. i was thinking soon—springtime, what do you think?”

“you can do anything else you want, but not this.”

“it’s not that i think you’re boring. it’s just that keeping watch over you isn’t all that exciting, you know.”

“and here i was, starting to think all our meetings were because you were working up to hitting on me.”

“where and how did you fuck up?”

“risk your own life how you like, but leave me alone to live mine.”

“i’m not a coward.”

“i’ve never asked you for anything, but i’m asking you now, to keep this secret.”

“you do a good job, you make a big impression, show just how valuable you can be—that’s when we talk for real.”

“you were fantastic out there tonight.”

“do you want to get something to eat? we can do it another time if you’d rather go out with your friends tonight.”

“please don’t kill him.”

“must you leave so soon? come back to bed. stay the night.”

“heaven help me. i’m going to kill them all.”

“betrayal, murder, and war have a way of ruining one’s plans.”

“i could still kill him for you.”

“i can kill my ex-boyfriends myself.”

“don’t look like that. like you think i’m disappointed in you when i’m not.”

“i couldn’t sleep and wondered if you’d be kind enough to join me for a cup of tea.”

“it’s been a long day, and i don’t think i’d be very good company right now.”

“but what’s the value of silly pride compared to doing what’s best for the people one loves?”

“expectations are a funny thing. when you’re born with them, you resent them. when you’ve never been given any, you feel the lack of them your whole life.”

“people are cruel. don’t tempt them with arrogance.”

“so long as i live, i’ll never turn my back on a friend.”

“get out of my sight! i never want to see you again!”

[cuubism]

actor hob, and pretentious asshole film director dream

[ this got so long and so weird and specific i'm so sorry ]

so hob is an everyman actor. a good actor, charismatic, funny, fan favorite, but not the type that gets cast in highbrow art films. mostly he does like romcoms, mid-budget action movies, feel-good family films, etc etc. and he's totally cool with that, he's good at what he does, and people enjoy those films, anyway. he might be getting a bit bored though, a bit stagnant. might be thinking it's time for some reinvention. and there might be a certain director whose ridiculous and nonsensical but dreamy films he's particularly enamored with...

dream makes REALLY pretentious art films. the types that get studied in graduate level film classes and have fifty different academic papers with fifty different theses trying to puzzle them out. dream is a master of themes and images and subtle construction. he is also a COMPLETE asshole and impossible to work with, an auteur in the most stereotypical way possible, he writes and directs, he micromanages all his projects, he asserts his vision and god help anyone who goes against it. nobody can handle him, nobody can STAND him, and the only reason he still gets funding for these projects is because they win awards, so many awards, and the studios want to ride on the coattails of those awards. but it's getting to the point where even his most ride-or-die producers are ready to give up.

right off the back of dream's most recent bafta, a rather naive Big Exec approaches him to direct the next installment of his Big Superhero Franchise. dream is immediately like fuck off with that bullshit but the exec pleads with him that the franchise is flagging and they really need something new to spice it up. plus the pay will be enough for dream to finance like 10 of his own ridiculous art films without having to rely on producers for money. and dream really is about to get cut off for being a complete insufferable asshole so he takes the gig. it kind of feels like prison though.

anyway, he gets to work trying to make this shitty boring film at least marginally less shitty and boring. he doesn't have a lot of leeway -- a lot of the story is locked in, half the cast is set from prior installments etc. dream immediately regrets taking this job, he'd rather die in actual prison than work on this mindnumbing piece of trash. it feels like it's taking an eternity and who could possibly stand an eternity of this???

well. enter hob, whose agent managed to snag him a 2nd-lead sort of role in this thing. it's not QUITE the reinvention he was going for but the pay and exposure are really good -- and even if they weren't, the moment hob saw that dream was attached he was immediately on board.

cue dream tearing his fucking hair out and basically being a complete menace and diva on set -- no that wasn't good, yes we have to do a 57th take, oh my god this dialogue is horrible give me that shitty script i'm writing my own thing, what do you mean the plot is linear???, wait there are how many cgi aliens????? i'm going to kill myself -- and Hob, pretty much Just Happy To Be There as always, takes one look at this beautiful dramatic emo asshole and is like oh. yes. i don't know what i'm saying yes to, but i'm saying yes. just immediately enamored with this bitch against all logic, he's like i've seen all your films i know how your mind works you brilliant nihilistic mess of a person. i'm on board. let's go.

first scene that hob's in dream is once again ranting about the atrocious script, which he did not write and is hardly allowed to change -- or, every change he makes is too weird and the studio keeps nixing it. everyone keeps sighing and being like oh my god can we please just shoot i wanna go home, meanwhile hob's like alright then. let's workshop it. and dream's just like. what. you aren't just gonna tell me to shut up? and hob's like no, youre right, this script is trash, but i know you're just going to write something really weird and psychedelic that they won't let you shoot. and dream's like you dare to speak to me that way??? and hob just puts his hands on his hips and is like listen, i actually know more about this sort of general audience family film thing than you do, mister arthouse, so are you going to work with me or not? and dream's just like what... is happening... because usually people who try to 'handle' him either just cave to his every demand like wimps, or just fight him on everything to 'prove' that they're in control, and hob is just kind of... not doing either of those? anyway dream doesn't know what to do with him.

so they workshop it. turns out hob actually DOES know how these sort of general audience all-follow-the-same-three-act-structure films work and how to improve things within those confines, and also he understands what like, normal people like, you know, casual feel good movies, not everything has to be a mindbender, jesus. so they bounce ideas off each other for like 3 hours until they finally get something that's okay enough that dream no longer wants to fling himself into the sun. meanwhile everyone on set is staring at them like 👀. then dream is like come back to my trailer we are rewriting the other 116 pages of this script right NOW. what else is hob supposed to do but follow.

then hob becomes the designated Dream Handler on set. dream starts using him as his barometer for what 'normal people' would like because he does not understand that at all. ("hob, will 'people' accept this?" "well considering youre spinning the camera around on a string i'm gonna go out on a limb and say no"). dream becomes kind of obsessed with him because his life is so like, normal, and he's okay with it?? he doesn't find existence to be an insufferable prison from which there is no escape?? and hob is like aw i know you're such a tortured artistic soul *pats him on the head*. plus, hob is actually a good actor, and he's able to put a lot of heart into even this mediocre big budget film, and kind of forces dream to confront the idea that there's more than one good type of story. that different stories serve different purposes and a straightforward happy story is okay, actually.

(and that the problem is the corporatization of the storytelling, not the story itself)

anyway the movie ends up being pretty good, dream still kind of hates it because he wasn't given full artistic license but he has to grudgingly admit that it has at least some merit. after the premiere hob is like (cheekily) so you gonna direct the sequel? and dream is like i did not write that to have a sequel. and hob's like it has a cliffhanger? and dream's like so???? and hob's like well theyre definitely gonna make a sequel. and dream's like i hate this planet. also no i'm not going to make the sequel. i'm going to fuck off to the woods and make a movie about teeth. do you want to star in it? and hob's like you're so fucking weird i'm obsessed with you i'm going to kiss you now.

so yeah, that.

[punsmaster69]

5/MAR/20XX

tori is out, and one of her kids is fresh on wheels. so, i've been put on monitoring duty for a while.

making my job that much easier, papyrus has eagerly agreed to help "watch" flowey and frisk.

...it's in quotes because what he's 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 doing is turning the backyard into a racetrack with frisk and undyne.

(it was mostly undyne's idea.)

as always, the kid will never outright say it, but he seems to like having those wheels.

"havin' fun with your newfound mobility, huh?"

"It's fun-"

"Functional. At best."

"breaks working fine?"

"This thing hasn't thrashed me yet."

"cool."

"you remember how to detach 'em?"

"Press these in."

"then?"

"Unlatch these, and lift myself out."

"Yeah, yeah. I remember. I'm not some dementia patient. You don't have to quiz me."

"maybe you are and you've forgotten."

"...That I'm a dementia patient??"

"yup."

"How could someone forget-"

".........."

"exactly."

"That's idiotic!"

"If I had dementia, I wouldn't be able to remember watching all your friends turn into DUST at my-"

"......."

"...Hands."

"......."

"..........."

"....gotta 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥 it to you, kid. you sure know how to change a mood quickly."

papyrus, undyne, and frisk called him over.

"FLOWERY! WE'RE DONE WITH THIS SECTION!!!"

"Come test it out!"

"It's time for SPEED!!!"

flowey gave me a look i couldn't quite decipher the feeling behind.

"go on. hang out with those same friends."

"......"

"even if nobody but you remembers what happened, you can still make it up to them by being better this time."

"be a good friend, alright?"

"......"

"..Or what? You'll kill me?"

he didn't like the face i gave him.

"...You wouldn't. Toriel would kill YOU. Papyrus would never forgive you. Asgore would have you-"

"you're right. i wouldn't."

"but you wouldn't do what you did again either."

"so, let's just forget the whole thing."

"What, gonna say it was dementia?"

"that'll work."

"now get a move on, petals."

i rolled him slightly backwards with my foot.

"you're holdin' up the fun."

he gave me a scowl.

"Flowey, are you scared or something?! Get over here already!!"

"I'm going, already! Don't you three have an OUNCE of patience between you?!"

frisk answered completely flatly,

"...No."

topping it with a slight smile.

"We wanna watch you FLY around this thing already, dude!!!!"

"ARE YOU READY, FLOWERY?"

flowey rolled onto the track, and papyrus started a countdown.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I blocked/ghosted this guy I can't quit?

so I've(nb25) known this guy(m29) about 8 months, but we haven't seen each other that many times. maybe 10 total. It's just a friends with benefits situation but he's very generous, he's splurged on hotels in the city for us we didn't really need, expensive meals, he's also just given me pocket money straight up before. He will kind of do whatever I want, all I have to do is mention it and he will make it happen. i mention I wanna see the ocean at 9pm and he's driving us around to find a beach that's open. i mention a food im craving and he's already ordering it, etc. he's not rich either, he lives with his parents(I think it's more for cultural reasons than financial) but his job pays pretty well I guess. he talks about the money and I think he's trying to impress me but I know so little about money and still rely on my parents I don't even really have the context. he's constantly trying to impress me with stuff like that or how much he can bench press and i find it super off-putting and don't respond to it. He's been nothing but nice to me I think, but I think he's got issues and he can't really open up emotionally. I am very suspicious of how "nice" he is and I find his positivity to be really invalidating sometimes.

Recently I got mad at him for an insensitive comment, and while I was chewing him out he just smiled at me and kept saying "I like you". It really irked me and I felt like he wasn't taking me seriously, even after asking him why he was reacting that way he just elaborated saying he liked me because I stick up for myself ? I was upset so I kicked him out of my place, it was the middle of the night. He left with a smile on his face still. it creeped me out and I almost felt like he was gonna come back and kill me while I was home alone.

I know that I'm not into him. not just that but I actively think he's annoying, and his toxic positivity thing really gets on my nerves. Ive explained that to him and he still wants to hang out. every time were together, our dynamic gets worse. im not mean to him, but I don't hold back when I think he's making something up to sound cool/nice or being fake. he says he likes my honesty and often puts me on a pedestal for it, and im constantly having to take myself off the pedestal bc im just a human being, capable of lying and inauthenticity.

He knows I don't want a relationship and I don't think that's what he wants either? hes never asked. i know he's dating and looking for someone though. I don't even really know what he meant when he said he liked me.

Every time I see him, I end up feeling like I don't wanna see him again. I find him really annoying and end up feeling really alone with him. ive tried to break it off before which he respected but would still DM me on insta occasionally, and it's bad but eventually I just went back to him bc I liked the way he was nice to me and spent money on me. it's really pathetic but it makes me feel worthwhile? but I want to stop seeing him. and im thinking, he doesn't have my phone number and I could just block him on Instagram then Id be done with it. I think we're bad for each other and that I probably frustrate him more than he shows, I think he tried to make me jealous recently by talking about some "beautiful blonde girl" he slept with, who didn't have a "good heart" like me or something. it felt weird and negg-y. overall just really weird, bad vibes. Would I be the asshole if I just blocked him ? i have a feeling that the only other way this will stop for us is with something worse than that.

What are these acronyms?

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

✨More incorrect quotes for you smokin’ hot lovelies✨

=======================================================================

Loui, after getting hit with two back-to-back hurricanes: I think my guardian angel drinks.

============================================

Connie: Define “dream”. 
York: Dream - the first thing people abandon when they learn how the world works. 
Connie: That’s too dark!

Mass: No no, he’s correct-

============================================

Gov: Everybody shut up, I'm thinking. 
Florida, patting him on the back: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

============================================

Connie: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated! 
Mass: Killed without hesitation.

Connie: *is now having to accept the fact that all his younger siblings are all mentally ill and dead inside*

============================================

Jersey: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 
Connie: That's deep. 
York: That means that ketchup is a smoothie. 
Connie: That's deeper. 
Mass: ...You guys are idiots.

============================================

Tex, tipsy and hasn’t slept in days: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL- 
Utah: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE DINNER FOR ONCE?!

Florida, patting Tex on the back: I’m proud.

============================================

Gov: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry. 
Mass: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid. 
Gov: You have to teach Florida how to read.
Mass: ...put the band-aid back on.

============================================

York: Never gonna make you cry! 
Jersey: Never gonna say goodbye! 
York: Never gonna tell a lie— 
Mass: I will hurt you.

============================================

Loui: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong? 
Mass,trying to be somewhat nice: Strong. 
Jersey: Weak. 
Tex: An idiot, is what your are.

============================================

York: Ay Mass, can ya help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason. 
Mass, wearing a hoodie that's 3 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

============================================

Gov, pointing to the wall: What color is this? 
Jersey: Gray. 
Tex: Grey. 
Gov, turning to Loui: Now tell them what color you think it is. 
Loui, in desperate need of sleep: *quietly* Dark white…..

============================================

Utah, near tears: Please, Florida, I don’t speak meme! I don't know what a 'yeet' is!

============================================

York: How would you like your coffee? 
Florida : As dark as my soul. 
York: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

============================================

Loui, very hungover: I wasn’t that drunk. 
Mass: You tried color my face with a highlighter because you said I was important. 
Loui, hugging him in a tight bear hug: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

Mass: I’m quite the opposite actually!

Loui: Noooooo 🥺🥺🥺

============================================

Tex: You want some leftovers? 
Florida : What are those? 
Tex: You've never had leftovers before? 
Florida : No, ‘cause I’m not a quitter.

============================================

Gov: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

============================================

Connie: Where's Mass? 
Gov: Don't worry, I'll find him. 
Gov, shouting: New York sucks! 
Mass, distantly: York is the best person ever! Fa(speaks Boston) you, only I can insult him!
Gov: Found him.

============================================

Gov: Wow, I really think I would’ve gotten along with young Jersey! 
Jersey: I know. That’s why I decided to change everything about my life.

============================================

York: What do we say when making bread? 
Tex, glumly: That's the dough rising.

York: And what do we NOT say? 
Loui, sadly: That's the yeast f(speaks New Orleans)in’….

Utah, from somewhere in the house: NUH UH THE CHILD IS NOT ALLOWED TO SWEAR!

Loui:…..Fu-

============================================

Loui, after him and York ran into the people that bullied York for being skinny amongst other things: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

============================================

[kasaneteto]

ok i need some opinions

so i had the talk with my roommate about not wanting to sign another lease with him. that’s all fine and good he understands why we can’t be roommates anymore but the problem is he doesn’t want to let me be the one to stay at this apartment because he claims he can afford to live here by himself. i don’t really believe him but its neither here nor there because i know i can only afford to live here if i rent with two other people.

my reasons for wanting to keep living here are: i can walk to work, its going to be really hard to find another place that allows TWO cats, my cats are CRAZY and this apartment is perfect for them (lots of windows for passive engagement + a loft area for them to get up in), i have a LOT of plants because the place gets a lot of natural light, to find another place that would support all of these plants will be difficult. & in addition to all of that - my name is on all of the utilities + the WiFi. because he is too irresponsible to take initiative with anything. in a worst case scenario I would be able to move back in with my parents, but that would mean moving to the country where i would be completely isolated and would have to quit my job.

his reasons for wanting to keep living here are: he was the one who found the apartment & he can afford to live here on his own, and he doesn’t want to move. if he has other reasons beyond those he hasn’t told me what they are.

ive known he was a selfish person for years. i mean ive completely given up on ever asking him for a favor because he acts so burdened by it, if he even is willing to do it at all. its my belief that his selfishness is a trauma response due to his upbringing, but yknow, i can only tell the guy he needs therapy so many times before i have to give up to save my own energy. but i can’t help but feel like i deserve this apartment way more than he does. im the one who’s been taking care of it and keeping it nice for us. im the only one of us who’s in any way responsible. so for him to be so hostile about me wanting to stay (he got really defensive about it) hurts me a lot. i want to believe that he’s a good friend but I don’t feel like a good friend would see me move out of an apartment that’s perfect for me just because the alternative would make his life harder. he hasn’t been a good friend for a while so why am i still pretending he is?

so should i tell him all of these feelings? im worried that its going to come across as emotional manipulation. because like… i can’t lie, my main reason for wanting to tell him all of this is so i can stay here and he’ll move out. its hard to not feel like a hypocrite calling him selfish when thats my deepest motivation. but its not my only motivation, i truly do believe that erik is unaware of this behavior of his and that he WANTS to be a good friend, and i wonder if me being honest with him is the wake-up call he needs in that regard? idk. i just want to be a good friend while also standing up for myself. its hard to navigate stuff like this.

so uh. should i tell him i think he’s being really selfish about this? and that ive noticed a pattern of selfish behavior in him? be honest if im being a dickhead about this too and should just give up the place to him like if thats he truth i wanna hear it. it would just kill me to see his irresponsible ass bite off more than he can chew and lose this place, esp since the rate we’re renting at is the 2021 housing rate like its gonna be SO much more expensive to find a place this nice in the current housing market 😭

[staytinyville]

Heuning Kai

PLEASE REFER TO MASTERLIST TO GET FULL TAROT READING EXPERIENCE

↣ Summary: After an accident leaves you terrified, you subconsciously conjure a monster that feeds off your anxiety. However this monster begins to grow feelings for you. 

↣ Characters/Pairing: Huening Kai x gn!reader

↣ Genre: fluff

↣ AU/Trope info: anxiety monster!Kai, depressed!reader, sorta jujutsu kaisen type deal

↣ Word Count: 1.3k

↣ Warnings: anxiety attack, sorta PTSD, this might make some of you guys uncomfy because of the things going on atm around the world, if you need someone to talk to I am open.

↣ A/N: THE LAST OF MY STORIES MAN. THE JOY I FELT. I was really trying so hard to finish these quickly and I feel like I rushed them too much to the point where they kind of sucked. I hope you enjoyed reading them all if you did. And if not I do hope you got the right tarot reading! Do tell me if you did. I love to know if it resonated. 

THE MOON

Illusion, Fear, Anxiety, Subconscious, Intuition

When the moon comes out in a reading it is meant to signify that you are projecting your fears into your everyday life. You might have some kind of trauma with a painful memory or experience that left you unsure about yourself. In order to understand these better you have to connect yourself with that part of you you might not be willing to see.

This card can represent a time where you are not sure about things. You are second guessing things, so with that in mind make sure you pay attention to the signs. Do not allow yourself to fall pray to a fast decisions without checking out all the options.

Pay close attention to the lunar cycle in how it plays roles in your everyday life. Connect with it's spirit wanting to help you navigate through a time in your life where you might not be sure of yourself.

XVII THE MOON

There was a time when you had enjoyed going outside into the world, but as of late it was hard to want to do that. There was something preventing you from going out and it only festered your anxiety and depression more. 

It gave itself the name Kai. 

It sucked to have him glued to your side but you had no one else to blame but yourself. Ever since that accident you were in things took a turn and you became scared of everything around you. Because of this your fears had manifested something that would haunt every other living soul on the earth. 

You could remember the first night you had met him. You were curled up in a fetal position as a nightmare was plaguing you and causing a cold sweat to run through your body. You woke up startled when you felt cold hands stroking your shoulder that had been uncovered by the blankets. 

Whimpering, you wanted to think it was nothing, but it continued its ministrations. So you slowly opened your eyes, and were met with glowing eyes. He looked like such a boy with a goofy grin on his face as he faced you, one hand tucked under his head. 

Your breath got caught in your throat as you began to shiver from being in the same bed as someone else. Who was this man and why was he in your bed?

“I’m not gonna kill you.” Were his very first words to you. “If I kill you, I kill myself and that’s just a dumb idea.”

He gave you a grin. “I’m Kai. Your anxiety monster.”

And so you spent the next couple of months with the man who manifested from your own feelings and fears getting to know him. He tired you out a lot but you guess that was just his job. You learned he was clingy and loved to torment you.

However for you, you had learned to live with him. He was a bit annoying but you knew it was only you who created him. He was your own imagination come to life. A part of you might be scared of him but for the most part, you were quite happy because he was almost like a friend. 

A toxic one that seemed to find joy in your misery but there were good things about him that you found yourself feeling happy about. 

He would always watch over you, like a guardian angel, making sure you wouldn’t walk into traffic or go down the wrong alleyway. He also would sneer at any person who got too close to you like a jealous boyfriend.

Everytime you would ask him about it he would explain to you that if you found someone to occupy your time, you wouldn’t be sad anymore therefore he would go away. But you knew that your anxiety wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. If at all. 

“Good morning, my sweets!” Kai’s goofy grin was the first thing you saw every morning and the last thing before you closed your eyes. 

You had asked him once why it was he looked the way he did. An attractive man who had a baby face that would make anyone swoon. He explained to you that he looked that way because he was meant to embody your dream man. You frowned at his answer but as he continued you understood his reasoning. 

You were worried one day the man of your dreams would come up to you and all you would feel is anxiety over acting like a fool or looking like a fool. You guess it made sense seeing as Kai would be seeing you at your best and your worst. 

“Good morning, Kai.” You sighed, turning onto your back. 

He began to pout, feeling something bubble under your chest that made him squint his eyes. He shuffled closer to you, trying to curl into your side. He frowned when you didn’t reach over for him like you usually did. 

He raised his head to look at you. “Something is wrong.” He told you.

“I feel like today is going to be a bad day.” You spoke softly. 

Kai’s pout deepened, feeling a bit bad for your problems. He was meant to feed off of them but as the time went on he quickly fell in love with how strong you were even with everything going on. 

You would try your best to get over your fears, even if they came back. You had mottos you told yourself over and over again to keep pushing forward. Kai had never met a host like you and it made his non-existent heart beat just a tad. 

For the rest of the day, he kept a watchful eye on you. You were sluggish in everything you did, nearly breaking things. You barely had any energy to move to your couch or reach for the remote that was on the other side. Kai kept grunting when you wouldn’t do anything and he would have to take over for you. It would get small smiles, knowing that the monster cared for you in some passive aggressive way. 

However when you turned on the tv and saw that there had been another natural disaster in some part of the world, your mind began to shut down. All you could see were the buildings knocked over or fallen completely. 

You suddenly felt a weight on your chest, tightening around your lungs. You could feel sweat on your skin as you were reminded of the long time spent in a small space under a collapsed structure. The dust that stuck to your skin and made your eyes burn. 

Kai’s eyes went wide as he too began to feel the tightening in his stomach. While it was something good for him, all he could feel was remorse as he turned to watch you. Without thinking about his own health, he shut off the tv and was quick to take you into his hands. 

The moment you felt someone touch you, the breath you were holding came out in a choked sob and they wracked through your body loudly. You clung to Kai as you were reminded of those people who helped to take you out of the rubble.  

He tried to shush you, tightening his hold around your whole body. Maybe it wasn’t the best way to calm down a survivor of a disaster, but for you it wasn’t about the way he tightened your hold on you, it was about how you weren’t alone in a hole. 

You could feel his breathing on your body, could hear his whispers in your ear, could see the color of his shirt. You weren’t someone dark without help, you were sitting on your couch with the monster that was supposed to be feeding off you. And yet here he was, trying to calm you down. 

And when you pulled away to fall onto the couch all numb, he didn’t hesitate to keep you on his chest and allow you to unravel on your own. Your voice was hoarse and quiet but he was able to hear you just fine. 

“Kai, what are you doing?” You whispered. 

“I’m your anxiety monster. I feed off your anxiety.” He answered, looking up at the ceiling. 

“Then why did you calm me down?” You asked him. 

“Because I don’t like that kind of anxiety.” He began to massage your scalp. “It tastes bitter.”

You smiled softly, your lips moving as you gave his covered chest a kiss. “I’m sorry for tasting bitter.”

“It’s okay. I’ll accept the anxiety you get when you’re trying to open a can of biscuits.”

You laughed out loud and swatted at his chest. “It’s a real fear.”

“I know.” His lips touched the top of your head making you go back to laying on his chest. “You also freak out over spiders. Those are the best kind of meals.”

“Thank you, Kai.” You said it so quietly, in such a small voice–it made the monster smile. 

“You’re welcome.”

Tags : @cultofdionysusnet , @sandsofire , @k-vanity

[izumi-fanclub]

A3! Event Story Translation “NEW ERA GARDEN” [Chapter 3]

We find out about Yukio's plans for the first gen MANKAI troupe members.

Kasumi

Shinsengumi!?

Yuzo

…Another famous theme.

Hiro

Come to think of it, we talked about it back then too.

Zen

Hakkaku-san’s Shinsengumi, another troupe wanted to do the same thing. We never settled on it in the end.

Syu

Don’t tell me, Hakkaku-san left behind a script?

Yukio

Nope, I decided to write it myself this time.

Kasumi

You did, Yukio-san?

Syu

I don’t recall you writing a screenplay before.

Reni

He used to write a lot in highschool, he makes quick work when he’s excited. I had a chance to check it out, it’s mostly finished.

Yukio

I have a general idea of what I wanted to do with the Shinsengumi story since I used to talk about it with Hakkaku-san back then.

We even considered the casting.

Yuzo

I see…

Syu

I wonder if Reiji accepted the story so eagerly just because Yukio’s the one writing it.

Reni

It’s because of his position as a board member.

Zen

Well, whatever it is, we’ll be fine as long as there’s a script.

Hiro

If it’s the Shinsengumi Yukio and Hakkaku-san had in mind, then I look forward to it.

Kasumi

Another famous one, huh, I already feel the pressure…

Yuzo

Pull yourself together, this is a part of your job you know.

Yukio

I couldn’t directly direct “Traces of a Dream”, so I’m thrilled to be able to do it now so carefreely.

Hiro

It’s your return to Japanese theater, Yukio, we can’t afford to make it boring.

Yuzo

Guess you’re right. We got to celebrate with a banger.

Kasumi

Let’s do our best to make it exciting!

Zen

Sure, let me live up to your expectations.

Reni

Of course. The recognition of the new Fleur Award is at stake, after all.

Yukio

Good luck to us!

Based on what I discussed with Hakkaku-san, I wrote the script for each one, and the cast will be—.

Yuzo

…

Member A

Yuzo-san, that’s a script of your upcoming play, right?

Member B

I’m guessing it’s not gonna be MANKAI Company.

Yuzo

Yeah, it’s more of a collaboration, think of it as a one-time thing.

Hope you can excuse me since I’ll be away a lot while this show’s on.

Member A

It’s no problem, you can leave all the affairs to us.

Member B

I’m looking forward to Yuzo-san’s play.

Member C What are you playing?

Member D

What’s your role, Yuzo-san?

Yuzo

It’s confidential so you can’t ever leak it, understood?

It’s Shinpachi Nagakura. I heard back then that he and Hakkaku-san decided on this role for me.

Member C

It’s Shinsengumi then! Wow, just imagining it now, it’s gonna be so cool.

Member D He’s so skilled with a sword that Nagakura’s known as the best in Shinsengumi, I’m guessing he’d be quite the killer.

Member B

Maybe that’s exactly why they chose Yuzo-san?

Member A

Yeah…

Yuzo

I’m right here you know!

…Guess it makes sense that Shinpachi Nagakura was entrusted to me.

Yuzo

…Tch, those two guys specifically. They got no social awareness.

Yukio

Haha, everyone’s making time in their busy schedules. It can’t be helped.

Let the busybodies get along with their kind. Here, cheers.

Yuzo

That sounds more like you than anything…

Yukio

It’s been so long since I had a drink alone with you Yuzo, when was the last time? Yuzo

It’s cause even back when we were in MANKAI Company, there’d always be someone there, it’s rare for us to be ever alone…

Yukio

That’s right, even when the two of us start drinking, there’d always be two or more people in the mix.

Speaking of, I recall talking about Shinsengumi at the drinking party, it was pretty wild then.

Yuzo

Yeah, all that talk about their favorites and what went down, the shinsengumi fanatics just yapped on and on.

Yukio

Yup, everyone had someone they were pushing for.

Yuzo

Now that I’ve been cast as Shinpachi, I gotta kill it at my swordsmanship or else those guys who wanted to play him will kill me themselves.

Yukio

You haven’t done Shinsengumi until now?

Yuzo

No, I’ve done it once in a historical drama.

At that time, I was practicing to die by a sword fight with Shinpachi, but I never thought I’d be in the opposite position.

Yukio

The ruthless killing isn’t the only reason I entrusted Shinpachi to you, Yuzo. Nagakura Shinpachi was one of the most long-lived major Shinsengumi leaders, right?

In his later years, he left records that showed the truth about the Shinsengumi which gave people a more nuanced evaluation of them.

I’d say that quality overlaps with you, Yuzo.

From the launch of the new troupe, all the way to now, you’ve always been watching over MANKAI Company even when you’ve left.

I thought you’d be perfect for it.

Yuzo

…Is this a ploy to get me to continue watching over them, including the newborn guys?

Yukio

Fufu, watch over my daughter well.

Yuzo

Geez, you got guts asking that kind of thing lightly.

Yuzo

(...I wasn’t exactly asked to do it, it just happened naturally.)

(The two generations of parent and child. I’ll continue to watch over them until the foreseeable future.)

[ Prev. ]

[ Next ]

[sserpente]

LOKI EPISODES 4 and 5, HOLY SHIT!

Let me tell you, this past week was insane! I did manage to watch Episode 4 last week but pretty much fell asleep straight after so I completely missed writing about Episode 4!

So let's talk about that one first before I lose my absolute shit at Episode 5!

As always, HEAVY SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!

So then... it is finally revealed that Ravonna had something to do with Kang before. I can't say I'm too surprised. And of course she would just kill a bunch of people to get her way.

Quite interesting how she pretended Loki was the villain this whole time when it's actually her. And don't even get me started on Brad!

I have a feeling we're gonna have a big confrontation in the final episode... but I'm getting ahead of myself--I am way too hyped now after Episode 5.

Now, I have to say, Episode 4 didn't have an awful lot of Loki in it, haha! But hells, did Episode 5 make up for that... DAMN!

The cliffhanger was something else. Obviously, the suspense wasn't one of "oh no, they're doomed and everyone's dead now" but rather "oh shit, how are they going to fix THAT?!"

Good thing it wasn't Loki who went out there... so much for spaghettification. So with that... let's move on to Episode 5 so I can lose my absolute shit!

The very moment O.B. mentioned that Loki might be able to control time slipping I was like 👀. I had a feeling where this was going but... patience, patience, patience.

I swear my poor heartbroken God of Mischief... the fact the timelines were all just evaporating was honestly scary. I mean, imagine your reality is falling apart and there is NOTHING left. NOTHING. And there's nowhere for you to go.

I thought it was convenient that Loki would show up in his friends' timelines until I realised there was a reason for that. Speaking of which... B15 was a doctor, aw! And Mobius finally has his Jetskis! And two sons?! GODS! I hope that they'll be able to combine their TVA life and their timeline life. There's gotta be a way, right?

But to be fair... Casey didn't wanna go back to prison (did you hear him say "they're gonna gut us like fish" I was cackling), Mobius loves jetskis but doesn't seem to be 100% fulfilled with this job... O.B. is a writer who's trying to make it (I felt that) and I guess... you could say B15 has great purpose as a doctor but still! So... I'm still with Loki, they did have a purpose at the TVA and it should be their choice.

I totally love the conversation between Loki and Sylvie here and the fact that she admitted that she's selfish. Is Loki selfish too? Yes and no. Yes, he wants his friends back. But why? Because he CARES about them. And because he knows that most of them aren't actually as happy as they should be in their timelines. Also, naturally, if he doesn't fix this, then all of reality will evaporate so his argument is quite valid.

I swear when he said "where do I belong then"... I was SO DAMN CLOSE TO TEARS. I just wanted to HUG him so bad! Because it's true, isn't it? Loki has no timeline to go back to. He can't just show up in Asgard and pretend like nothing ever happened. But a life like the one Sylvie thinks she's happy with, working at McDonald's? That's not it for Loki, we all know that! I swear... by the end of Season 2 it will be official that he found his glorious purpose!

I mean... just the fact that he was willing to give it all up alone... to let Mobius and everyone else go back to their timelines... NO ONE DARE SAY HE IS A VILLAIN EVER AGAIN, OUR PRECIOUS BABY!

I know I said we don't need Loki to be a self-righteous hero and we don't but the character development in this episode, the reflection of what's been going on with him... SO DAMN GOOD! It's proof that Loki has a good heart, honestly! I mean... we knew that already, it's not the first time we saw it on display but still... awww!

So what's next? Loki, the lord of time... I mean, I'm sorry... did he just become the most powerful being in the MCU?! JUSTICE FOR LOKI AT LAST! I WAS SCREAMING LET ME TELL YOU!

I was hoping for something like that so bad and now here we are! With how things are working out right now, I have a feeling it won't be long until Loki is back in the main MCU timeline and the ultimate force in the final battle against Kang!

[fvitsk]

Why, when watching 'The Good, the Bad and the Ugly' do we feel that the money should go to Blondie?

I would like to note that this is an incredible post that prompts reflection (I will attach the link below). Every time I watched the movie "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" I felt sorry for Angel Eyes, but I couldn't understand why. And this post finally gave me the answer to that question and inspired me to think further.

I started pondering: "Okay, Angel Eyes was supposed to get the money. So why does the viewer, while watching the film, think that the money should go to Blondie?" I myself thought so during my first viewing. That's when I began to think and analyze the film.

In reality, the answer is very simple; I won't reveal anything new; these are just my thoughts. Here's what I'll say: the screenwriters brilliantly toy with the viewer's emotions, and they did an excellent job with their work. When working on the script, it's necessary to make the viewer empathize with the main character, establish a connection with them, and make the viewer care about them.

But what if the main character is also a bandit? Quite a scoundrel, in fact. How can you make the viewer sympathize and empathize with them? It's straightforward — make another character much worse! Make the main character appear better in comparison, so that all their actions seem like flowers compared to the "bad" character's actions.

That's exactly what they did with Angel Eyes. It was a brilliant decision to focus on Angel Eyes right from the start; he gets a whole 20 minutes dedicated to him. At first, we think that Angel Eyes is the main character (after all, we see him first, and for quite a while). But then something happens that immediately repels the viewer — Angel Eyes kills a family on a ranch, and his crowning moment is shooting a child! Then he even kills his employer, mocking him. Angel Eyes instantly becomes a villain in our eyes. Because he appears first on the screen, this idea sticks in our heads. Angel Eyes is presented in a terrible light right from the beginning, making the subsequent characters seem much better by comparison.

There's a screenwriting technique called "Save the Cat." It should be used in the first appearance of the character the viewer should consider the main hero and empathize with. It can be anything — a gesture, a word, etc., that fosters sympathy for the character. That's why it's called "Save the Cat." When we first meet Blondie, what happens? That's right — Blondie saves Tuco from other bounty hunters.

Throughout the film, the screenwriters skillfully continue to employ these techniques. We see Blondie observing Tuco's difficult and touching conversation with his brother. He realizes that Tuco is upset about it, so he responds positively to Tuco's lie (supposedly, he and his brother had a nice conversation), supports it with a friendly gesture, handing him his cigar. A small act of support, and Tuco's mood improves.

Next, we see Blondie putting a kitten into his hat and petting it. Bang! Right in our hearts. After all, only good guys pet cats, right?

Then we see him giving hope to a dying military officer and winking, essentially saying that his dream will come true soon. The damn bridge is going to blow up.

And then we see Blondie sympathizing with a fatally wounded soldier, covering him with his coat and giving him a final light for his cigarette. It's a touching scene because we mourn the young soldier's death along with Blondie.

One might think that many of these details could be removed from the film, but these are all clever screenwriting techniques that evoke sympathy and attachment to Blondie in the viewer. We believe that, despite being a bandit, he is more honest and positive compared to Angel Eyes or Tuco.

At the same time, we see Angel Eyes only in a negative light, portrayed as a cunning and vile villain. But what guarantees that Angel Eyes doesn't have the same sense of justice and empathy for others? We hardly know him, as the film only shows his bad side. On the other hand, what guarantees that Blondie doesn't commit equally despicable acts? Remember that Blondie kills more people throughout the film than Tuco and Angel Eyes combined. Blondie pulls the trigger without hesitation. The viewer can easily forget that all three of them are just ordinary Wild West bandits who don't differ much from each other.

Thanks to the complex screenplay and the way Blondie is portrayed, the viewer can easily justify his actions. For example, the killing of other bounty hunters or his cunning money-making schemes with other outlaws. When Blondie unquestionably kills other people, we think it's necessary because he's merely defending himself.

In "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" the screenplay is cleverly crafted to manipulate the viewer's emotions and feelings (as it should be). It functions perfectly, like a Swiss watch mechanism. I have watched "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" many times. All the while, I had a nagging feeling that something was off, but I still felt sorry for Angel Eyes, even though he's portrayed as a "bad guy." Now I understand.

Please share your thoughts on this; I would be happy to discuss it.

[dashawns-world]

Been a little bit since my last post! Sorry this one isn’t going to be a very long one either. I’ve been very busy with my new job and personal work, but I did want to talk about three movies I saw recently! And while I won’t spoil anything major, these thoughts may cloud your judgement going into the films, so I recommend avoiding if you wanna go in with an open mind. Anyway, let’s go:

BARBIE

Barbie was such a fun film! It made me laugh out loud way more than it had any right to. Seriously, there’s a joke Will Ferrel nonchalantly says that I can’t get outta my mind. I had tears in my eyes. Not gonna spoil it but if you know, you know. The themes are quite existential, but in a playful enough way that I didn’t leave it thinking “bummer…” If I had to complain about anything, it’s that Barbie was kinda inactive for the final act. To the point where I was asking myself “what is Barbie doing?” Maybe you’d see what I meant if you watched it. (Or disagree) I still had a good time tho.

It’s worth a watch!

TMNT MUTANT MAYHEM

This is my favorite TMNT movie now, and my favorite personification of the turtles. The art direction, emotional stuff, comedy, action, and characters were all on point. There’s a moment where Leo has a heart to heart with his bros that didn’t feel as earned as it could’ve (on first viewing) I only bring this up because it’s a thought I had as the scene was going on. Where as everything else in the movie felt organic and original, this scene felt like a tried and true motivational speech beat that these types of movies generally have. If that makes sense? I’d have to watch it again to be sure. And thankfully, I’d gladly watch it again because I had such a good time.

Watch itttt!!

THEY CLONED TYRONE

This is a Netflix original and boy was I blown away. I swear, John Boyega is on Leo DiCaprio’s level of changing into a whole new person for his roles. I’m never sure who I’m gonna get. He really killed it. I’m not gonna spoil this movie and honestly if you go in blind it might be better. The directing is really REALLY good, too. There’s a scene that I really loved, where we’re with a character for an extended amount of time in one shot. This is to build tension for a pretty crazy moment afterwards and it was VERY well done. These types of scenes are so cool to me because I’m used to cutting often in animation. But in live action, these scenes are really good for getting inside a character’s head. I really can’t explain without spoiling but if you’ve watched the movie, I thiiiiink you know the scene I’m talking about.

Anyway, the cast, direction, and plot are all top notch. Jamie Foxx is hilarious as always, and Teyonah Parris gets to shine in this film. I loved her character in this compared to Wandavision where her talent was wasted.

I think this movie is perfect for the culture, but if you’re not typically into movies with a majority black cast that deals with African American issues (in a really good way) then you probably won’t be impressed. Your loss, though! I believe that this, alongside movies like The Woman King, The Harder They Fall, and Get Out are examples of movies that have clear parallels to others in their respective genres, but add a twist that I appreciate because of their characters and writing. I used to be stuck with hood movies, but now I get hood mystery movies. I love it, is all I’m saying.

Anyway, I know what the next deep dive is gonna be. I just need to set aside free time to write it up. I’ve been wanting to do a write up about beat em up games. My favorite one, in particular. I want to analyze what I like about it, and what I don’t. Might do more drawing to go alongside it too. Anybody remember Advance Guardian Heroes?? Brace yourselves, lol.

[samijami]

I'm in deep shit and everything i own might be looked through by CPS so i need to log out of my side emails for a bit and shit and omfg why did life do this to me

That night I got high, my friend decided to tell the office 'one of her friends' (who they guessed was me) said a various amount of things in snap messages, which she read most of them out loud and played the audio from that video of my parents arguing

She said she didn't intend for it to go too far, and that she only wanted them to get a gist of what was happening and not guess who it was (just incase they did need to step in or if I actually really badly hurt or killed myself). But they called me in for the counselor, and now CPS is involved since my friend read one of our messages where i said i didn't feel safe in my home

So CPS came to my house today after telling me they would at my school, and now they're coming here AGAIN later to LOOK THROUGH MY ROOM AND EVEN MY DEVICES TO SEE SHIT ON MY SOCIALS AND IF I POSE A DANGER TO MYSELF

they all know i lied to my parents and said that the person who reported me reported a couple other people, and were trying to start drama. Idk if the principal knows all of this but I'm gonna try to lie to him because:

My father called the school to know who called CPS and the principal told him i had a trans bf, and that i said i was in the LGBTQ

THE PRINCIPAL OUTED ME FFS I WAS AVOIDING THIS ALL YEAR

HE HAS NO FUCKING RIGHT TO OUT ME HE HAS NO FUCKING RIGHT

CPS is coming back and idk when, but i have a plan and it's my only hope..it's such a small hope and the chances of it working need a fucking miracle, but if this doesn't work? I will literally kill myself. If CPS doesn't take me away at that point, life would be miserable. My father is convinced that I'm only wanting to attend that vocational school next year because my 'sick girlfriend' is going and I want to be with 'her'. So if he gets in, then my father said that I can't attend it. He literally told me to go and tell my bf to call off attending the vocational school and if he doesn't, then he'd be ruining my dreams of a career

MY FATHER IS GOING TO RUIN MY WHOLE FUCKING FUTURE IF SOME TRANS GUY GETS INTO THE SCHOOL I WANT TO ATTEND AND HES TRYING TO MAKE ME BLAME HIM

TO. HIS. FACE.

But thankfully, my little inkling of hope has appeared and I might be able to cover this all up. But, after all of this, me and my bf will have to hide in public, and I won't be able to be out at school at all.

I'm not going through my plan here, I'm just telling you guys your part. I need this or else my life is on the line. Quite literally, it's fucking scary.

First, I'm logging out of all of my secrets Gmails, and making a new Tumblr account. I need the people who I'm writing stories with to make alt accounts (@oatsynalliums and @technicolor-chocolate) that pretend to be either indiscrete or just blatantly not LGBTQ, and pretend like we've been talking about our stories for a while in our messages

Second, never ever interact with any accounts that might link back to my main, or yours. And try to avoid LGBTQ content so that it won't pop up on my dashboard due to you interacting with it

Three, someone TRUSTWORTHY keep track of my Gmail passwords and write them down to tell me later so that they won't get found on anything I own, so I can log back into them later

Four, someone who's smart and knows a lot about the internet and how sites work, answer me some questions in messages

This is DIRE. I could DIE. I am begging you guys to go alon with this part of the plan, and don't question anything since I am scrambling like crazy to put this whole thing into motion I EVEN INTERRUPTED MY FRIEND IN THE MIDDLE OF HER JOB TO CALL HER ON SNAP AND SHE NEEDED TO GET AN EXCUSE FROM HER MANAGER SO I CAN TALK TO HER CUZ ITS THIS URGENT I COULDNT EVEN WAIT UNTIL SHE WAS OFF OF WORK

PLEASE FUCKING HELP IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE

[elvenbeard]

🏳️‍🌈 Vince (& Kerry) at Night City Pride (2/10) 🏳️‍⚧️

"A merc in fuckin' sequins" 🤘

Firstly, I told myself, I'm not gonna get too carried away with modding before I finish my second playthrough. But also, I had this vision of Vince in a sparkly sequin rainbow coat, and my hand slipped... and yeah, here we are, the "pride clothing for fucking posers" collection is steadily growing xD Nothing released into the wild as of now, and I won't manage that until the month is over most likely - but not like you can't wear pretty rainbow things all year round!

Secondly, the quote above always kinda stuck with me... It's from the Jinguji side-job. At the end during the convo with MaxTac, V can decline their offer of joining them with "nah, I'd feel like a merc in fuckin' sequins".

The thing is... Vince literally is that, a merc in fuckin' sequins. Not just literally, like in the sparkly clothes I have for him, but also figuratively. He never wanted to be a merc in the first place, not able to picture himself in that gritty world, no matter how much Jackie tried to convince him that it was good, easy money (both of them were still in their late teens/early twenties at that point and trying to make ends meet somehow). He had no interest in stealing and killing for a living. He loved his tech, he thought about becoming a netrunner maybe, but everything that went down the more physical lane, fighting and so on, was never his thing. Still isn't. He's short, was always kind of scrawny... he's more the "I'm gonna shit-talk myself out of this dangerous situation somehow". Not quite to, say, Saul Goodman levels, but definitely more like that than anything else.

Then he was recruited for Arasaka. He'd only just begun to get a bit more daring with his clothing choices, his hair, tattoos, and the recuiters immediately told him to "tone it down". At the time, still not nearly as confident as he is now, he did. He wanted that job, almost out of spite, but also morbid curiosity... and he could actually see himself being good at the kind of work he was offered to do for the corporation.

His time at Arasaka changed him, equipped him with many new skills (and many new issues). But he was so much more braver, a hell lot more confident and comfortable in his body, trusted in his skills. But he had also learned one fundamental thing: he didn't want to even try and fit in anywhere anymore, because that's not who he is, deep down, and trying to conform to Arasaka's standards made him absolutely miserable.

Sure, making a resolution is one thing and actually sticking to it another, but as he then became a merc after all, after Jackie's death, his own death looming on the horizon... he more and more began to embrace being the "merc in sequins", the solo that didn't want to fit in with the rest. And he actually turned out to be rolling extremely succesful with it, with staying true to himself, standing out, and doing things his way.

Sure, he can be subtle if he wants to. "You can never get the corp outta the rat," as Jackie said. He'll still rather raise no alarms, tries the stealthy approach whenever possible, and if things go wrong would rather talk himself out of the situation than kill. But he also relishes being an extravagant motherfucker when he gets the chance to. Those who don't take the "merc in sequins" seriously, the weird little misfit that weasled himself to the top from the very bottom, will learn the meaning of regret soon enough.