#rafayel angst

[brailsthesmolgurl]

DAMNATION

A legend foretold that the princess' heart is the only way to save his people. What happens when he refuses to take her heart when he had foolishly fell in love with her? But, what if she wanted to give his people the life that they deserved? Warnings: Angst, No Comfort, Death of Character, Blood and Gore, you might let out a tear or two, there could be an alternate ending in a parallel universe. Slight Spoiler for Rafayel's lore.

"Rafayel, please, please, please let me help your people." She sniffled, eyes and nose a hue of red as she held onto the sleeves of the God of the Sea. They had been at this argument for days, and time is not exactly in Rafayel's favour. His people are dying, and her heart, is the only thing that could save his kind from extinction.

It has to be out of her own will, they said. And here he is, watching y/n with his eyes that had taken up a shade of dark purple. The lack of lighting within her chambers had given him a good camouflage for his frown. He got her, to surrender her heart by her own will. But, Rafayel could not do it.

His right hand reached up to wipe the tears falling down her cheeks and he spoke softly, as if to conjure up whatever willpower he had left within his system to convince her to stop talking about this. "My love, you know I could not bear to lose you. I know my people may be in pain and suffrage, but I also know that you deserve the world. With me."

"BUT I ALREADY SAID I CAN!" Y/n shouted, the grabbed the candle holder by her bedside table and threw it across the room, her tears are now flowing like streams down her cheeks. Rafayel held her as she collapsed into his arms, sobbing and curling into a ball. Her voice a hushed whisper as she spoke. "How is living here any better than being dead? I am constantly locked in my tower, I had only ever been out whenever you are around and I just can't find myself to live like this anymore."

Her sigh ached Rafayel's heart, it hurts him deeply to watch her cry and to watch her make such a decision for him, for his people. He was caught up in between, eyes wandering across her dark room as the last source of lighting was put out. The moonlight however, casted a silvery-bluish sheen into the room, making the overall room more gloomy than it already is.

Rafayel took in a deep breath, muttering something about 'there must be another way to this', and he used his long index finger to lift up her chin, so her eyes meet his. "My love, I want you to stay put right here. I will be back by dawn tomorrow and we shall make a final decision on this. Please, heed my advice and just stay here alright? I will be back for you, as always my quintessence."

He placed a kiss on her forehead, her cheek and lastly on her lips. Just like how he would always comfort her. Pulling back, he noticed the way her eyes struggled to open and with that, he slowly laid her back onto her bed, and tucked her in. She must be exhausted from the amount of crying she had for the night. Smoothing his hand over her silky brown hair, he presented a sad smile, eyes wavering while he looked at her for one last time for the night.

He had to make a choice, either it would be to sacrifice her or to sacrifice his people. Both bringing an equally heavy burden to his heart and soul. Call him a god, they said. But he is no longer one as he harbored such selfish thoughts to his own desire. Putting on his mask, he got off of the bed, stood at the window and then plunge down into the waters below.

...

It has been a few hours, and y/n rose from her bed, still groggy from her sleep. She looked out of her window to find her windows were widely opened, the moon shining brightly and she wondered to herself when did Rafayel left. It should be a couple of hours ago as the last thing she recalled was his lips on her face. And she recalled meeting him right after dinner time ended.

A whistling tune was heard from outside of her window, a tune so melodic that she was enchanted to approach her window sill. Her hands glided over the smooth stone slab and she peeked her head out before she was met with a boy in the waters below her towers. The scales on his body signified that he is a Lemurian, just like Rafayel.

"What are you doing here?" Y/n panicked, eyes darting all over her surroundings to scan for any witnesses around. You see, if Lemurians were caught, they would be pawned off to the wealthy, as it showcases the sign of one's wealth. And that was how Rafayel met y/n. But y/n knew that possessing a Lemurian would not grant her a new status nor the freedom she had longed for, hence, she freed him after they had promised to find each other again in the future.

"My name is Arvia---" Before he could even finish, he coughed, desperately holding onto his chest as he heaved for his breath. "I came to---" Another cough, one of his hand sprung out from the water to close his mouth, to silence his coughs as he did not want to draw any unwanted attention. As he withdrew his hand, y/n gasped. Crimson stain on his pale white hands, people on land may have identify it as lung infection, but she knew that Lemurians are leaning towards the grim reaper's will.

"Please, please my quintessence, I know My Highness would not let us near you." Blood trickled down the sides of his lips as he spoke. "But I plead you, as my mother has been in suffrage for the past few days, she could not speak anymore, let alone sing. All of my siblings are met with ill coughs, just like mine, carrying crimson taints. I beg of you, shall you have the means to save Lemuria, please meet us at the sea stacks as dawn strikes."

Another cough comes at the end of his sentence and she watched as he harshly pounded his chest, as if doing that would ease his cough better. "I'll be there!" Y/n responded without hesitation and her determined eyes were met with Arvia's aquamarine ones. The young merman wiped the blood off of his lips and he nodded his head before he dived back into the water, a hint of his tail peeking out as he swam back into the deep waters.

Y/n rushed back into her room and opened her wooden wardrobe, eyeing the gowns that she owns and picking one out that is made of the thinnest material possible. She wanted her movements to be stealthy and languid, hence the thin material would come to be more useful than a heavier drape. She changed into the white gown, and grabbed her fur coat to drape it over her small stature. Glancing at herself for the last time in the mirror situated next to her wardrobe, she felt a pang of sadness coarsing through her body.

She has chosen her own journey, she has decided on her own death. But it was all for the better right? One small sacrifice for the greater good. Staring at her own reflection, she realised her tears had streamed down her face. Why is she crying? She had no idea. But perhaps it has something to do with the ending of her life. No matter how convinced she is of her death being a greater sacrifice, she could never forgive herself for going against her lover's will.

She wiped off her tears and huffed. "This is it. My death shall come with a greater meaning. Rafayel would understand eventually." Before she could change her mind, she grabbed the rope Rafayel had made for her and she tossed it out of the window to climb down from her tower.

...

Perhaps the gown was not the best idea. Strong winds and thin gowns are not exactly complimentary to one another. Her fur coat however, ended mid waist so the length below her waist was bare to the wind's torture. It took her quite a while to arrive to the location that was appointed by the merman.

The huge rock sat in the middle of the sea, unwavering as the waves crashed against it. The sky was dark but along the silhouttes, there was hints of an orangy-yellow shade, a sign that dawn is approaching. Y/n took off her footwear and laid them onto the sand, and she took off her coat to lay it next to her footwear. The wind batted against her whole body even more harshly, making her shiver and tremble as she made her way into the waters.

As the sun started to rise even more, she noticed a few heads emerged from the further ends of the vast ocean, as if watching her as she made her way towards the rock. Arvia then bobbed his head out of the waters and he spoke. "You came, my quintessence. Come, take your seat on the rock." He looked ghastly, eyes sunken in and scales fading of its usual bright colours. He held out his hand and guided y/n up towards the rock.

Another merman surfaced from the depths of the ocean and y/n recognised this merman. He was always stuck to Rafayel's hip when she met Rafayel for the first couple of times. She never got to know of his name but she assumed that he plays an important role in guiding and supervising Rafayel's actions. "I believe we had met for a few times, when I was on land with My Highness. My name is Amund and I was summoned by my people to perform the sacrificial ritual on you."

His eyes glinted a sheen of red as he spoke to her. Was this the guy that Rafayel had warned her about? 'My people are of gentle nature, but I am afraid one shall lead them all towards perdition.' Rafayel's voice rung in her head. "Do you, my quintessence, know the risk of such sacrificial ritual?" Amund questioned her, eyes raking over her body in an uncomfortable manner.

"I will be able to save Lemuria right?" She responded, eyes filled with hope. "Will I?" She second guessed herself and Amund said nothing but nodded. He raised his hand to beckon to his fellow Lemurians and some of them started approaching her. "Wait, what is happening?"

"As long as my quintessence is at will to give us the God of Sea's heart, we will ensure that the sacrificial ritual is done with the utmost care and respect you deserve." A dagger appeared in Amund's hand. Silver dagger with red crystals adorning it's hilt, it definitely does look like a ceremonial dagger.

"Are you going to drown me first? Rafayel told me that as long as I am willing to give out my heart, then I could be drowned prior to the ceremony. Is it not?" She remembered Rafayel told her some details about how the ceremony takes place but given she was not drowned yet, she was curious if there was a different course of ceremonial action. "My quintessence, as I mentioned earlier, you deserve the utmost care and respect for your sacrifice for the people of Lemuria." He held up the dagger and gave a look towards the other mermans that were surrounding her. "Make sure she stays still throughout the ceremony." The mermans then grabbed her arms and legs and they stretched her limply across the rock. Y/n however, knew that she could not back up anymore at this point.

But, what she did not know was that this so-called ceremony was nothing more than a mere revenge to be taken upon Rafayel. The god who chose to leave his people to pursue his love with a mere mundane. Amund, does not approve of this relationship and neither does he want that to ever happen again. He wants to watch Rafayel suffer like how his people did.

"Stay still my quintessence, this would hurt." Without another word, Amund stabbed the dagger into her collarbone and y/n screamed in pain, tears started flowing from her face but she could not move as she was held down tightly. The pain did not stopped as the dagger dragged from her collarbone to the sides of her breasts. Her screams never falter just like her blood that never stopped flowing, staining the rock and eventually dripped into the ocean.

...

Rafayel had returned to her chambers but she was nowhere to be found. "Y/N? Y/N?" He called out to her name quietly as he walked towards her bed. Flipping the sheets, he was only met with the sight of her pillow stacked together to form a silhouette of her. He turned around and noticed the wardrobe that was sprung open, and her satin lounging attire tousled into a ball on the hardwood floorings. Confused, he looked over to the window sill and his guesses were right, she had escaped from her tower.

Without hesitation, the God of the Sea jumped out of the window and plunged right into the waters, not even caring if that had caused a huge splash to alert the guards as he had no time left to spare. He had to rescue her.

Earlier on, when Rafayel had left her chambers, he went back to Lemuria to speak with Amund. When he arrived at Armund's door, Arvia came out of the house, eyes widened when he was face-to-face with the lilac-haired God. "Your highness." Arvia half bowed and went along his way. Swimming past Rafayel and off into the weeds that were littered around the towns of Lemuria.

"What was Arvia doing here?" Rafayel asked as he closed the door to Amund's abode and finally meeting Amund's eye.

"His family was in dire need of some pearl essence. His mother's throat was ruined and his siblings are all ridden with coughs that drains their blood." Amund responded as he placed vials and bottles of medicine back onto the shelves. The clinking and clanking of the vials and bottles are the only sounds filling the silence before he continued. "Your Highness, you cannot delay any further. Our people are dying. And they desperately need the heart."

"Amund, listen." Rafayel spoke in a stern tone, hands running through his lilac strands as he looked frustrated. "I can't bring myself to do it. I just can't." The vial containing the pearl essence floated out of Amund's grasp and he looked at Rafayel with widened eyes. There comes the shouting, "You would rather watch Lemuria wilt just to save a woman that you have feelings for?! How dare you say that?! What do you think the people of Lemuria would have thought, that their one and only hope has decided to betray them all for the sake of a mere mortal?!"

Rafayel winced at Amund's booming voice, although he looked saddened with the situation at hand, his voice maintained the same as his posture, still and calm. "There shall be another way to change fate. I will do whatever I can to save my people but without the cost of losing my beloved bride. The decision is final." He turned to leave but stopped, whipped his head back and he warned. "Anyone who acted against my orders shall die upon my hand."

...

The waves batted against the shores, feigning a scene where the water desperately wants to come onto the shore. Just like how the mermans once dreamed of wanting to walk on land and having to dive back into the waters based on their own will. But they were bound, bound to the waters as coming onto land would not impose any leverage for them.

Rafayel ran across the beach, eyes searching every inch of land and water to find his beloved. The sun is rising and the pastel skies no longer gave Rafayel a sense of comfort but it added onto his paranoia, assumptions of the worst case scenario constantly teasing their way into his mind.

His heart suddenly hurt like someone had shot him with a canon ball and he fell in his steps, clutching onto his chest as he struggled to breathe. Not long after when he regained his breath, something felt different in him. Something felt like a--- a beating heart. Rafayel gasped at the feeling as it further confirmed his nightmare.

He ran as fast as his mundane legs could carry him down the shore and passing a cliff, he witnessed a figure, sprawled out on a rock limply, and he screamed. "Y/N!"

He trudged the waters and climbed up the rock, not even caring that the barnacles had sliced off pieces of his sole. He did not care at all as the scene in front of him would trigger bloodshed afterwards. Y/n laid on the rock, eyes closed, but blood trailed from her eyes, nostrils, and ears, staining her once beautiful white dress into a bright crimson red. Her chest bared a gaping hole exactly where the heart was supposed to be situated.

Rafayel reached out his shaky hands to touch her cheeks and in that moment, he got a brief flashback of her last moments. Her screams echoed through his mind, but none of her screams mouthed the word 'STOP'. Amund was there, alongside with a couple of other mermans that were holding her down. Amund was slicing into her skin, carelessly opening up a big hole on the left side of her chest just to retrieve the heart from her.

Rafayel's tears streamed when the flashback showed y/n stopped screaming and twitching when Amund grabbed the heart out of her body, holding it high up in the air as if it was some trophy earned. And just like that, the flashback ended and Rafayel was snapped back into reality, with her body laid right in his arms. He whimpered, but no sounds were emitted from his throat, his cries were silenced by the throbbing pain within his heart.

Watching her pale and faceless expression, Rafayel held her face close to his neck, getting his body stained with her blood like how he would always get paint stained on his clothes whenever he was painting portraits of her. But this time, he did not want the stain to be washed off. He did not want it to fade either, as it would remind him of the pain his own people had brought upon him.

"Why?" He asked the air, as you would no longer be the one to reply to him. "Why would they do this to you?" His voice a hushed whisper as the ocean started to rage. "Why couldn't they at least make it painless for you?" He was referring to the drowning that should have taken place prior to the ceremony of removing her heart. It would have hurt way lesser than this, it would have been more comforting, it would have lessen the bloodshed that would be committed by Rafayel.

"I will always, always wait for you my love. No matter how long it takes." He stood up, with her still in his arms, and he looked out into the horizon, staring into the waves that would soon remind his people of his identity of being the God of the Sea. The dark clouds started to close in, accompanied with lightning strikes that fears the men at seas. Rafayel held her lifeless body, clinging onto whatever warmth that was left from her body before he mustered up the courage to say this. His eyes turned from the usual blueish-purplish shade to a dark set of purple pupils. "I shall bring damnation to my people as how they had brought damnation to me."

Sequel here: Retribution

Parallel Universe Ending is up! Read through Retribution and you shall find the link for the parallel not-so-angsty ending!

And there you go my darlings, I wanna watch that tear drop :)

I think I will come out with an alternate not-so-angsty ending if i feel like it sometime in the near future. Lemme know what you guys think hehe <3. If any of you fancy for any requests of similar calliber or even new ideas, drop me a dm :>

[lunamochii]

"We were just getting to the good part.." // rafayel x f!reader

cw // unprotected seggs, face riding, continuation of part 1

special mention to @duckydinglers here's your part two😆

You were woken up by your sleep when you heard your door on your bedroom slowly opening, while sitting up you brought your hand to your eyes and softly rubs it before slowly opening them

"Rafayel?"

His name slip out from your lips and you heard a quite hum as he sat down on your bed.

"You can continue sleeping. I'll just go prepare the foods I brought with me."

"Mhm... but you seem to have forgotten something?"

You said and he looks at you with a mischievous grin on his lips. His hand immediately rested on your cheeks and you rup your face on his warm palm

"It's usually me who does this. Oh well, you look cute anyways."

His thumb rubs your lower lip and softly tugs on it as he leans in and gave you a sweet passionate kiss. Your hands immediately fiding their rightful place on behind his neck, and he pulled you closer to him by pulling you on your waist. His other free hand making it's way up to your dress, your breath beginning to quicken

"I remember... you aren't wearing anything.."

You let out a moan when his hand squeeze your ass, his lips trails down towards your neck as he leave marks. Your hands tangled on to his hair

"Sit on my lap"

You did what he told you and his arms immediately wrap around your waist as he began kissing you fervently. Feeling yourself getting turn on again, you began to rub yourself on him and that earn you a groan from him.

"You were so lewd during our call.. I actually..."

"What is it?"

He trails off from his word and looks away from you. You place both of your palms on his face and guided his gaze back to you

You ask softly and his gaze goes from your eyes, lips then to your eyes again.

"I... I wanna taste you..."

His ears and cheeks are almost the same shade of red and you can't help but laugh softly before giving him a quick kiss on the lips on which he chase your lips when you move away

"Okay... take me 'Yel.."

His breath hitch as he manhandles you on the bed. You lay on your back as he spread your legs he felt himself shiver at the sight of your wet cunt. His adams apple bobbing up and down as his trembling fingers reach for your wetness and swipe it up, his eyes observing your reactions.

"H-Hurry..."

"I want to paint you naked.."

He whispers before laying on the center of your parted legs, his face dangerously close to your wet cunt. He inhales your scent and he swears he felt his cock throg. He began kissing your thighs, leaving marks on there too. Your breath began to quicken as you look at him through hooded eyes.

His gaze lifts up and meet yours as he let his tongue roll out from his mouth and slowly began to lap at your juices. Your legs threaten to close but he let out a growl and grip on your thighs tightly and fully close the gap from his mouth and to your pussy.

"Rafayel!"

You scream his name and your body began to tremble at how intense his eating you out. Tongue inside you as he curls it and thrust it in and out. Your hand flew to your mouth trying to drown your moans but he slap your thighs making you jolt, you look down again and his glaring at you. As if his saying that you shouldn't stop yourself on moaning.

"Let me *kiss* hear it *kiss*"

He gave your clit few kisses before taking all of you inside his mouth, your feet grip on the sheets when his tongue began to flick on your clit. Chanting his name, you couldn't help but hold on to his hair and began to grind your cunt on his face.

Rafayel loves how you began riding him but he wants more. He wants to fully see how you tremble. Moving away from you, he was met by your confuse look but he only chuckles as he move up and lay on your side.

He didn't let you finish and began kissing you, hard, you tasted yourself on his kiss. His fingers drawing circles on your clit as he lay on his back. He broke the kiss and look at you intently

"Rafa-"

"Sit on me."

"What are you...

"Sit on my face, baby."

You blush madly on what he said that you moved slowly, Rafayel rolled his eyes and tug on your wrist kissing it

"Hurry. I don't like waiting."

You bit your lower lip and began to lower yourself towards his face, once your cunt is just right above his mouth, he pulled you down and you let out a gut wretching moan. His hand rest on top of your thighs as he ravage your pussy with his mouth.

You held on to your headboard and began grinding once again, his hands traveled up to your waist and starts to caress it. You can't help it but close your legs with his in between when he keeps on giving you few slaps on your ass.

He suck all your juices, lick the juices that trickles on the side. You were eventually a crying mess above him, your gaze met his and begging for him to just let you cum.

"Don't cum yet."

"I c-can't- please!"

"You're so cute when you beg but too bad I won't let you.."

You threw your head back when he slid two fingers inside you and thrust it fast, his tongue on your clit. You can feel all your strength leaving your body. Your whole body fell on the bed but he quickly moves and raise your waist up, your legs on his shoulders as he lap on your pussy.

"Fuck... you taste so good..."

"N-No more! Rafayel!"

You grip hard on your hair as your body began to shake and he can feel already that you're going to cum soon. He curse through his breath and put you down as he frantically unbuckle his belt and push his pants together with his undergarment down and pulled you close to him by your ankles.

He slam his way inside you and you broke into sobs as he began to fuck you hard. His teeth grazing your neck as his cock fucks you with no mercy.

"Oh god!! Too much... s'too much Yel!"

"I love you, I love you.."

Your legs wrap around his waist, hands around his neck. He captured your lips again and kisses you sloppily. You can hear your bed creaking but your too fuck to care. He moans your name so passionately that you ended up clenching him inside.

"Fuuuuuuck~ you like it huh? Like it when I moan your name against your ear.."

"Shut up. Just give it to me... fill me up.."

He snickered and press your legs towards your chest, he smirk seeing your fuck out face. He began to thrust faster and harder, that when he felt you clench again he curse loudly and spilled his cum inside you. Which you followed, he thrust slowly riding you both from your high.

"Go to sleep. We still have a long day tomorrow."

When done he slowly pull his cock out, your legs plopping down on the bed as he lay on your side and pulled you close towards him. You snuggled closer to him as he pulls your one hand softly and let it rest on his cheeks. He kiss the crown of your head before softly humming.

[vilhelios]

— WAIT FOR ME / I'M STILL SOMEWHERE ;

( you're getting older without me and i'm getting scared ) ; in which rafayel still hopes that there's a life where this works — where you do not crush his bleeding heart in your hands, & he still loves you despite, despite, despite.

cw: not beta read; spoilers for abysswalker rafayel's "sea of golden sand" myth, "fragrant dreams" card, "siren's song" anecdote, & main story ch. 7; angst ; some fluff ; mentions of blood, injury & death ; theories + headcanons about mc & rafayel's past lives ; kinda pretentious rafayel lore analysis ( can't help it, i just love him a lot! )

"RAFAYEL, do you think we're lovers in every universe?"

in the stillness of the night, as he mindlessly draws designs on your skin with his thumb, rafayel lies through his teeth: "yeah. i'm sure we are."

it's all he can manage. how do you tell your lover—your dear, sweet muse, whose presence makes the sea of your heart ebb and swell—that you've wondered the same thing lifetimes ago, and know the answer with bittersweet certainty? you continue talking about an article you read, in the morning—something about "consciousness energy fluctuations" and "that feeling of deja vu" and "soulmates."

and rafayel wonders, humming along to your rambling, if that's what you two are: soulmates.

"i wonder what we're like." you sigh, burrowing your head into the warmth of his chest. surely you can hear the rapid thrumming of his heart—he can't help it, the organ so helplessly weak in your presence. "you're the most creative man i know; got any ideas?"

"i think," rafayel starts, runs his fingers through your hair, "there's a life where i'm a merman, you're the human i've fallen deeply in love with, and the barrier between the waves and the shoreline is all that's stopping us."

rafayel remembers being younger, lifetimes ago. he remembers swimming upstream, through a little river that becomes a smaller creek, settling by your quaint home. he remembers playing you a song on his flute, an elegy for lemuria that became your song. he still remembers your head peeking out from the window and the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen staring down at him. you were like sunflecks dancing upon the water's surface—dazzling—and he, denizen of the deep dark sea, couldn't help but fall in love. he gave you his heart, his blood, his voice.

"hmm... reminds me of an old fairy tale." you press a kiss to the beauty mark on his chest, your lips curving into a smile against his skin. right above where his heart is, where the proof of your pact would shine bright. "do you think you'd have gotten a pair of legs and we'd live happily ever after on land?"

"of course i would've." rafayel smiles.

(he does not think about the way his voice grew hoarse as he sung lemuria's elegy. he does not think about the dagger he'd clutched so tightly in his hidden hand, as you approached him on the shore. he does not think about the hug, the warmth of your body making his resolve flutter. the warm blood on his hands, in the water, seeping from the heart he once loved and now carved out and cradled. he does not think about returning to a ruined lemuria, everything he's ever loved ripped away from him in a night.)

"then i like that one. what about another? knowing how we quarrel, do you think we were royalty hailing from opposing kingdoms?"

"hmm, close. i'd say that i'm an assassin, sneaking into your lovely highness's bedroom window."

"hah! i can see that." his heart flutters when he hears you giggle. rafayel wishes he could trap that beautiful sound inside a conch shell, it almost seemed possible, the way it felt like molten gold—sunlight. "i'd leave the windows open just so you'd have an easier time coming in."

"glad to know you'd still fall for my charms." he finds it in himself to smile, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "even if it might not be the brightest idea, dummy."

"hmph, but if we still loved each other then, you wouldn't kill me." your hand reaches upwards to cup his cheek, a thumb aimlessly stroking comforting lines across his skin. his breath hitches at how naturally it comes to you. "you'd fall for my charms too."

(why wouldn't it? you've done it so many times before, as you—dear highness of philos—gingerly removed his mask. he, who was destined to carve out your heart; and he, who could not bear to do so, who fell apart in the warmth of your hold. any hatred he'd held in his heart for the humans that desecrated his home —beautiful, sacred lemuria— dissolved with each ripple of the lake you both had danced across on that silent night. how could he ever hurt his beloved, who in another life he'd devoted entire oceans to?)

"yeah." he breathes out, almost a chuckle. "yeah, i guess i would, your highness."

"rafa?" you murmur, words slurred with the call of sleep, ushered in by him running a hand through your hair. "i really hope that we're soulmates even if it's in the silliest lives you could ever think up. do you?"

(and he hopes for more, a case study in greed. he hopes for the most blissful lives with you—where he's the receding sea and you are the sands of the shore, or you are an anemone polyp and he is the rock you've decided to settle upon, or he is the deepsea fish that looks longingly upon the warmth of the sunflecks that dance upon the water. he hopes there's a life where this whole thing works: where you do not crush his bleeding heart in your hands, & he still loves you despite, despite, despite.)

and rafayel smiles, presses the umpteenth kiss tonight to your forehead, watches you draw closer into his hold. and then he whispers his little wish against your skin, as soft as a siren singing lullabies to a sailor:

"yeah. i hope so too."

a/n: on this lovely valentine's day i offer the rafa stans: angst 🤩 the ending was a bit rushed because i... was no longer in an angsty mood. this fic is very much so a product of a time where i knew less of rafa's lore (see: did not finish the myth) so there may be some lore inaccuracies ... please do listen to berenstein by the band camino!!! l&ds' plot feels like an amalgamation of some of my favourite songs (berenstein, heartbeat by bts, isohel by EDEN)... and it's just such a good plot so far. please send me rafa lore stuff/general thoughts bc i'd love to try and play around with some of them (i have an idea for his birthday fic already) ,,, i'd love and appreciate you immensely ♡

[yuansie]

a blessed bond, healed by the hands of the breaker

pairing. rafayel x fem! reader

synopsis. at one point, the love you harbored towards rafayel, so pure and beautiful, became tainted by the ink of hatred... that is what you like to believe

genres/aus. angst with a happy ending, reincarnation au (?)

warnings. crying, mentions of death

rating. sfw/pg-13 (bc of the death part?!)

wc. 2.7 k

part 1 here

a/n. ending could have been better but WHATEVAAA i will be turning this into a series saur 😈 stay tuned 😈

THERE IS A STARK CONTRAST BETWEEN YOU AND HER; it’s as clear as day and night. you, as the priestess in your first life, were someone of, somewhat, high power. you had to maintain a calm persona in front of everyone, never showing weakness nor fear. lemurians looked up to you, and you did not want to fail them. you are a lemurian, you serve their god and them. for them and your god, you would do anything. so you were always calm and benevolent, never turning a blind eye to the people. and behind closed doors, in front of the god of the tides’ eyes, would you let yourself become weak enough to share your worries with him. but that was the extent of what you showed to him. your purpose is to be there for him, not the other way.

perhaps that is why rafayel was so drawn to her in your first life. she was different: expressive in her ways and words, a curious and innocent soul. she had nothing to tie her down, yet you did. your duties as priestess tied you down and you could never explore your feelings—and those that you harbored towards him. feelings of love are forbidden, but if they are for rafayel then surely it was okay? you used to think long and hard about that, finally coming to the conclusion that your love is just that of a simple priestess that admires the one she serves. you didn’t love him as a person. but why did you try to return the sea witch to her original form? you knew what would become of you if you tricked her into making a potion that would return her to her original state, the one that rafayel fell in love with. and yet, you still tried because for the god of the tides, you would do anything for him. he is needed by the lemurians, and you may be too but not as much as he is.

in your next life as a normal lemurian, you became his neighbor. it was odd, being on equal footing as him… but it was so exciting at the same time. you were given a chance to explore who you are. you didn’t have the title of priestess holding you back anymore. so when you found rafayel blowing out your family’s sea lantern, you took the blame and waited for him to find you. and in the dead of night, he appeared at your window, looking apologetic. it was like an unspoken agreement after that, one where you were his… partner in crime, if you can even call it that. everything was perfect, things were perfect until he disappeared. you knew he went up: rafayel is a curious person whose intrigue can never be satiated. you swam up, and the sight you were met with was horrible. he was rid of all of his scales, crimson blood pouring from his chest as she held him. you cried.

it was a first. the feeling of tears, so foreign, surprised you but it didn’t match the shock you had felt when seeing rafayel die in front of your very eyes, singing his final words. was this unbearable pain something that rafayel felt when he watched you turn into sea foam? or was it akin to that pain he felt when he saw her turn into the sea witch? your heart felt heavy in your chest, aching and bleeding in pain. the man you love died.

it wasn’t your proudest moment… what happened afterwards. you wanted to end her because deep down, you knew she was the cause of everything, but you also knew that rafayel loved her. you wouldn’t harm her because it meant harming him and that was a thing that you could never do.

so you turned your back to them and sang. you sang as you faced the darkening sky, you sang as a storm hit and the waves crashed, taking you down and down. you sang until you no longer could, finally closing your eyes.

and then in your last life, you saw him again. you saw rafayel once more. it was in the desert this time, not in the waters as it had been previously. the ocean had dried up long ago and a part of you dried up along with it. you wanted to leave, to turn away from rafayel and go on your own. you didn’t want to be hurt again, you didn’t want to experience such pain tear your being apart. but rafayel, oh so loveable rafayel, melted your walls. he was still the same: guarded, speaking in ways that confused you yet you would never change that about him, still aloof once he warmed up to you. and you thought, you really thought, that this life would be different. that this life would be the one where he wouldn’t cross paths with her again. then he was kidnapped and when you found him, he didn’t want to restore the ocean.

that was the breaking point.

you were so mad. how could he betray his home? his people? maybe it was the remnants of the feelings you harbored in your life as a priestess, the love you felt for your home and the lemurians, that made you lash out at rafayel. you couldn’t wrap your head around it: the fact that rafayel still chose an ill fate over a promising and flourishing future. he sacrificed the lemurians that believed in him, he sacrificed your home and people. you cursed him and promised to never forgive him, disappearing afterwards. you never saw him after that and you don’t want to see him in this life.

sometimes you wonder if you should have made that promise with the ocean as a witness, maybe then your heart wouldn’t ache so much when thinking of rafayel on cold nights where ocean waves are still.

zayne has a soul that is just as broken as yours and you found comfort in him. an excellent friend and an even better listener. sometimes you feel bad that he just listens when you recount your memories to him, but he tells you that it’s fine.

“you know,” you pipe up, “i think you would have liked lemuria.”

zayne glances at you from the corner of his eye, his eyebrows slightly rising in surprise that quickly fades from his face, a stoic expression settling in once more. he looks back to the front as you both keep walking down the busy street.

“how so?” zayne asks just as you both leave an art exhibition you’ve been meaning to check out under the guise of work. 

“well,” you clear your throat, grabbing onto the arm that he offers you before leading you across a street. “it was filled with many lemurians, obviously. there was a nice ambiance. some… human interaction would have been nice for you. you wouldn’t have been so lonely. though, that is just my personal opinion.”

zayne chuckles at your rambling that continues on. at some point, you both stop as the stop light flashes green, cars resuming their trek down the road and preventing you two from crossing.

“thank you for accompanying me, doctor.” you smile, looking at the scene in front of you. “you really didn’t have to come with me today.”

“it is quite alright, y/n.” he replies, remaining quiet for a few seconds before speaking again. “...you need company around this time of year anyways.”

and your heart aches at the mention of that because it is around this time that a lifetime ago that you said goodbye to rafayel.

you shake the melancholic mood off and instead playfully scoff and nudge the taller man. “zayne, there is no need to be formal with me. after all, aren’t we friends?”

before zayne can even reply, you hear her voice. it makes both you and zayne turn towards the sound and you feel your heart drop to the ground.

rafayel is here.

he is standing in front of you, alive and well. he is breathing the same air as you, walking on the same ground as you. he still looks the same as ever, but he carries a certain air of freedom with him. the sight of him like this morphs your initial shock into rage. how dare he? how dare he be like this after what he’s done?

you two are the last lemurians because of his selfishness to pursue something that was never blessed by the fates.

“oh! doctor zayne, what are you doing here?”

you take this chance to whisper into zayne’s ears that you’re leaving. you hold onto his arm as you leaned forwards on the tip of your toes, leaning back and smiling at him as he gave you a nod. with that, you take off, walking as quickly as you could. the tears that prickle the corner of your eyes makes you mad because you don’t want to cry over a man that never treasured what he had, a man that abandoned his responsibilities. your aching feet take you to the beach and your mind instantly calms down, shoulders relaxing. you kick your heels off and walk down the sands, eyes on the waters.

“y/n.”

your throat tightens, eyes widening as you spin around. rafayel stands not too far from you, seemingly keeping a distance from you so as to not alert you. he’s panting, his purple hair sticking to his head and chest rising and falling. you swallow the lump in your throat and turn your back to head, continuing your path down the beach.

“y/n, wait.”

the desperation in his voice makes you angry, so you quicken your pace. he continuously calls out your name, and each time you can hear his emotions in his pleas. at some point, you find yourself standing with your feet submerged into the water, rafayel still behind you. it’s then that you feel his hand wrap around your wrist and you try snatching it out of his hold.

“rafayel, let me go.” you enunciate each word with venom in your tone, eyebrows furrowed.

rafayel shakes his head and you notice that his hand trembles.

“i’m not letting go,” he mumbles, “how can i let you go after what happened?”

that makes you scoff and roll your eyes, “you didn’t have a problem letting me leave back then.”

he stays quiet and you finally snatch your wrist away from him. "i told you that i was never going to forgive you.”

“you don’t mean that,” he quickly adds, his blue-pink eyes blown wide. “you’re lying.”

“rafayel, i’ve hated you these past 800 years. do you really think i’m lying?”

“you’re bluffing!” rafayel takes a step forwards and you take one back.

“i am not.”

rafayel feels his stomach twist and churn, feels his heart getting squeezed when tears begin to flow down from your eyes. as you’re crying, he slowly realizes that you’re wearing a dress from long ago. to be specific, you’re wearing your dress from your days as his priestess, the one that has flowy, light blue material. your arms are bare and tainted with the same blue markings that he had.

he reaches for your hand again, and this time you let him grab it. you’ve given him this chance, just this chance for him to explain himself, prove himself worthy to you. he won’t let you down.

“i’m sorry.” he says, heart drumming loudly in his ears. the sound gets drowned out by the sound of your crying, the soft sobs that leave your lips. “i’m sorry, y/n.”

“are you?” you question him, blinking, “are you really sorry?”

“of course i am! i’m—”

“then what are you sorry for, hm?” he stays quiet as you ramble to him, “are you sorry for not heeding my advice when i was your priestess to not indulge in her? are you sorry for not listening to me and going to the surface when we were equals? are you sorry for sacrificing the lemurians and our home for her?” you let out a bitter laugh and look off to the side, “don’t you see, rafayel? everything you’ve done was because of her and for her, you’ll do anything. so no, you aren’t sorry.” the next words you mutter makes him want to hurl.

“i know you well enough to know that you aren’t truly sorry.”

he shakes his head, desperately grasping onto your hand and intertwining your fingers together and bringing it to his bare chest where you feel the rapid beating of his heart. you stare at him, confused. tears coat his lashes before they slowly roll down his flushed cheeks. you almost choke not only because he’s crying and he never cries, but also because of how he looks. the blue markings that are drawn onto his pale skin, the gold jewelry, his blue garbs—the god of the tides himself kneels before you.

you’re brought out of your head when rafayel’s lips brush gently over your skin, lips quivering almost as if he was afraid. and he is afraid. he’s afraid that if he leaves a bruising kiss to your hand that you’ll break and disappear. he doesn’t want you to disappear. he wants you to stay, to stay here with him.

“i’m sorry, y/n. i’m so sorry.” he whispers, keeping his head down, “i took you for granted. i don’t know—”

“yes you do, you know that it’s because you love her,” you say, “and i loved you—”

rafayel looks up, eyes wide. you loved him? you loved him? loved.

“—and that’s why i put up with it. because for you… for you, i would do anything. i turned into seafoam for you so that you wouldn’t, i died after i saw you sing your last words,” your voice cracks, “but the final straw was that you betrayed all of us. you betrayed me. how could you even do that?”

“it meant killing her and—”

“i know what it meant! i know what it meant…” you glower at him, lips pursed, “but i thought that you would see it then. how you and her are ill-fated. how does a love like that make you sacrifice everything on a silver platter?”

“i—”

“i hate you, rafayel.”

rafayel shakes his head, voice shaking, “d-don’t say that. please, please don’t s-say that.”

“i hate you,” you repeat, your sobs growing louder, “i hate you. i hate you so much.”

the purple-haired male mutters apologies against your skin and in between kisses.

“i hate you so much because i still love you,” your knees buckle and you fall into the sand. rafayel catches you easily and guides your face to the crook of his neck where you continue to cry and gasp for air in between your words. “i still… i still love you. do you know h-how terrible that feels? to love someone that betrays you and his people continuously? a-and i just… i don’t want to be hurt again.”

“oh…” rafayel now presses his lips to the side of your head, “my pretty pearl…” he pulls away just enough to grab your hand once more, this time his grip is firm as he hooks your pinkies together and then touches the pad of your thumb with his own, pressing a kiss to it and muttering, “i promise that i’ll dedicate the rest of my lives in showing you that i want to cherish you, that i won’t let you go now or ever, that… that i love you.”

“don’t make such a cruel promise,” you huff, “let me go, raf. don’t be selfish and…” you trail off, watching as a little, blue fish emerges from your joined hands, swimming into the air and disappearing shortly afterwards.

rafayel laughs, a sound so joyous that it makes your heart flutter. “see? even the ocean blesses this promise of mine to you.” he leans forwards and you stay frozen, your cheeks feeling abnormally warm when his lips land on them. “i will earn your trust and your love, my pearl.”

the oceans, ever so truthful, know that the god of the tides tells the truth. the oceans know that the promise you made eight hundred years ago was done out of spite, a promise that never held any worth. the oceans also know that the god had finally woken up, had finally realized that what he had been chasing was nothing but an illusion, something meant to take him away from who he is meant to be with.

and the oceans can now rejoice in the god of the tides finally realizing his love to the one he is meant to be with, then and now and forever.

[jennifer-jeong]

Okay so first, I really love your LnD fics (patiently waiting for more of your amazing works) 🥹🫶 and hear me out...

Reader who is reincarnated as a Fae being and has been alive since. But the thing is, her wings had been clipped off (with the use of silver chains, meaning she's vulnerable against silver) for a century and is in Linkon city since she feels that part of her (her wings) are somewhere hidden in the city (Think of Maleficent live action ig where her wings were taken from her) and meets the guys and so on :)

HI ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR ASK AND YOUR KIND WORDS FJDSKLAFJSDL;A I APPRECIATE IT SM!! TY FOR INTERACTING!! I’m so glad to hear you like my fics and I promise more are on the way hehehe please do request me again if you have more ideas!!

I hope I did your prompt justice! I definitely did think a lot about maleficent when writing this hehehehe

[Fluff + Angst] [Love and Deepspace Boys x Fae!Reader] Angel

CONTENT

Angst to fluff, gender neutral reader, mentions of violence, blood, trauma, torture, healing alongside them, mutual pining between you and the boys, happy and open ended endings! ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+

Your wings were a pretty and pearly milky white. Your wings resembled those of high flying birds. They were thick enough to allow gliding and also strong enough to give you lots of control in the air. They were iridescent in the sun and carried you high in the bright sky. The air was thin but more refreshing up there. You played with clouds and soared through the endless blue. It was freedom. It made you feel alive, warm.

It was your gift, but unfortunately, it was on someone else’s wishlist.

You’d never been a spiteful being, nor had you ever hurt a fly. But when silver chains ripped your flesh and tore your muscle to take your wings, severing your very soul from your body. When they destroyed your forest, your home, your family, your heart. You swore to make them suffer.

You were powerful and hunting these fools down was nothing difficult for you. The problem was hunting without your wings, your best weapon.

The lack of mobility and being forced to fight on the ground made it so that you could maim the weak ones, but you could never reach the ones who profited off the suffering of you and your people.

Linkon city is where they were. You knew this. You could feel your wings there. You also knew that you’d need to hide, figure out who did what and how to get your damn wings back. It would take time, but time was all you had as a fae. You’d do whatever it took to make them pay.

It’d take years, but it was worth it.

2 years later and you’ve already made moves to apprehend (and torture) a few key figures, always leaving them in front of the police station when you were done. You still had so much good in you and it always prevented you from killing. But it made you seethe that they were filthy fucking rich from what they stole from your homeland. They sold your resources and displayed your bodies, your wings, like they were trophies. Life was still cold and depressing for you but you did manage to make some friends in Linkon. They’d even help you with your mission. You only trusted them with the information because they had similar goals.

XAVIER

Xavier was a local policeman you had met a few decades into your plot when you were hired to help with the case. He was coincidentally also investigating illegal hunters and black markets selling goods stolen from other civilizations such as yours. It was a big ring of crime and he was determined to end the atrocities that were being committed in it. Meeting you was just extra motivation on top of his already relentless drive for justice. You became investigative partners since you were both capable in combat and often investigated the same people anyways.

Xavier was kind, gentle, quiet, and stronger than he let on. He always worked without expectation of reward and you appreciated that. You just wanted justice and he wanted the same. It helped that he didn’t seek publicity because it would’ve made your life harder since you were probably wanted as a vigilante from before. Xavier taught you his philosophies and you realized you’d been consumed by your desire for revenge, unable to enjoy life outside of it. You admired him for his morals, so you learned from him, and it made you two grow closer. He was more than happy to help, it was so rewarding to see you slowly become your bubbly self that he guesses you lost a long time ago.

He had his suspicions that you might be fae. The man was smart but he played his cards carefully, he always held them close. He acted aloof with you and pretended to not constantly stare at the back of your shirt, trying to see if you had imprints of missing wings on your shoulder blades. He also figured that your motivation for wanting to crack these cases came from somewhere. If he also managed to figure out that you’d been behind some of the previous mysterious arrests, he’d turn a blind eye. He knew your actions weren’t crimes. He felt glad that you got them back for what they did to you and your people.

After a few years of planned raids and dozens of arrests, one of the recovered items from the warehouse was a beautiful pair of wings. Still buzzing with magic, craving to feel the wind again. You felt them when they were being transported to the police HQ. The surge of energy that continued to approach you made you hold your breath and bounce your leg out of pure anxiety. Xavier put a hand on your shoulder to try to calm you down. He’d already figured out what was going on just by looking at you. You didn’t need to say a word. It was something that slowly came naturally since you two spent so much time together. You smiled and he smiled warmly back. You were in the middle of panicking because Xavier was still touching you when you were presented with your missing soul, your wings. You requested to view the “evidence” privately with Xavier and wasted no time in feeling your delicate wings with your fingertips again.

Xavier stood behind you, his right hand found its way to your upper back. He finally traced the outlines of your cut wings. It made you gasp at first, but you trusted him. As he continued to feel them, you shivered. They were scars, they were more sensitive. He stepped to your side and you turned to partially face him, his hand sliding off of you. You looked into his eyes and your longstanding feelings for Xavier were making their presence known by heating up your face, flushing your cheeks. You swore you saw a slight tinge of red on the tips of his ears too. He spoke to you in his familiar voice that you loved so much. He decided to tease you slightly.

“I think I always knew that you’d have wings, you were too perfect to not be an angel.”

ZAYNE

Zayne was a surgeon you’d met one day when he treated your wounds since you collapsed outside the hospital. He discovered the scars where your wings used to sit on your back. You were high off the morphine when he checked your back for more injuries so you barely even realized.

He questioned you but not in the way you expected. You thought he wouldn’t know what they were or try to take advantage of you. But instead he asked what you knew about the hunters that took your wings. He already knew exactly what happened to you just by looking. He was involved in cracking down on research related to Fae and Lemurians since there were people trying to fuse their genetics with these races to gain their beneficial traits such as immortality.

He knew some things you didn’t know and vice versa. You both began working on this together, investigating research facilities, interrogating suspects, and fighting only when needed. You were unstoppable and the law didn’t plan to ask you to let up. You both hand delivered them collectors and shadowy figures that had hid from the police for so long. When you fought, Zayne could both heal and attack from afar while you rushed them head on. You were unafraid because you believed in your partner, your trust in Zayne only grew as the years went on.

Early on, Zayne encouraged you to let go of the spite, the revenge. You knew he was right when he said that they did not benefit you in this. He saw the rage in you and could see that it was hurting you, mentally and physically. You listened, you knew better. You stopped the relentless tortures and instead, let the collectors rot in jail, but not before you got in a few good punches. Zayne watched you slowly come out of your shell again, actually taking the time to enjoy the little things in life instead of being hyper focused on revenge. He’d be lying if he said you weren’t one of the most rewarding patients he’d ever had.

Working with your partner was definitely quite the rollercoaster. He was always so professional and mature but would also randomly tease you as if you were kids, albeit with a fully deadpan expression. Zayne was reserved and often came off as cold but he made you so warm. You knew he was an extremely compassionate and kind person under his exterior and you admired him for it. Zayne also adored you in the same way. You had gone through so much pain and suffering but you still smiled and shined like the sun.

Over time you adapted to live without your wings but after one specific raid on a collector’s mansion, you knew exactly what the collector’s prized possession was because it belonged to you. You could feel your wings. They still surged with energy and upon seeing them when you went to do follow up investigation, you immediately called to them. They flew towards you and you inspected them, almost not believing the scene in front of you. Zayne stayed close ready to support you, especially if you were to fuse with your wings again, he knew it’d be hard to keep them hidden and it’d just bring up so much previous trauma.

You turned to face him slowly, leaving your wings behind you. You hesitated. Not letting your wings fuse with you yet. Zayne looked into your eyes, trying to comfort you with his presence. After a few seconds, Zayne held out his hand, you took it. His skin was cold but somehow it made yours burn, the heat spreading through your body as your face warmed up. He spoke quietly to you, telling you to take your time. You closed your eyes and took deep breaths, your thumb slowly caressing the back of Zayne's hand as he did the same back.

Zayne had always been good at comforting you with his words, maybe it just came naturally since he was a doctor. Regardless, you knew it was exactly what you needed right now. You didn’t know what you’d do after you got your wings back. Would you go home? Would you continue this mission with Zayne? Would having your wings make it harder? Would it make it easier? You confided in Zayne as you spoke your thoughts out loud. Once you were done, you were overwhelmed and he could tell. He started his reply with a sentence that filled you with warmth, hope, and a little bit of giddiness. He speaks, teasing you a bit at the end, his face flushing.

“It doesn’t matter what you are or if you have the wings or not, you’re beautiful and you should follow your heart… especially if it’s here.”

RAFAYEL

Rafayel was a painter “looking for art or inspiration” that you met at an underground event where illegal goods were being sold, but you quickly figured out it was a front. Rafayel was a Lemurian, you sensed it immediately since you weren’t human. As a fae you had the ability to sense certain things, and so did Rafayel. Upon meeting each other at an art exhibition, you quickly exchanged information and agreed to meet up again the next day. You almost simultaneously revealed that you were both after the hunters that destroyed your homes when you finally got to chat alone.

The two of you start to frequent more underground events, both of you being well connected and hiding your true intentions very well. You use the events to gather information and then put your plans into action when your targets are alone. It worked amazingly well, you were both extremely skilled and efficient at what you did. It slowly chipped away at this network that shamelessly destroyed your beautiful homes.

Rafayel was a bit of a loose cannon. The man was so sweet and bashful one second and deadly serious the next. He was so gentle with you but didn’t hesitate when there was business that needed to be done. He could easily switch it on and off too. You were just glad you were on his side of this war.

Both you and Rafayel were out for revenge but something about your partnership changed you two. You both slowly helped each other heal, confiding your worries and traumas in each other. You were still both ruthless when it came to apprehending the people who did you wrong but the tortures stopped and the warmth returned outside of the violence. You two actually started to make good memories and live life instead of just trying to survive. You’d often watch the sunset over the ocean together, it was peaceful and you’d chat about anything and everything.

Eventually, after dozens of raids and missions, Rafayel finds weapons that used to belong to his family at the same time you find your wings again. You kept quiet until the mission was done, knowing you could feel your wings but not wanting to startle Rafayel. You looked at the weapons with him, you put your hand on his back to show your support for him. His eyes stayed glued on the knives and his face was a painful melancholic expression. You rubbed circles into his upper back with your thumb, hoping it could ease some of the pain caused by resurfacing memories.

After ensuring that the weapons would be sent to his personal studio, he continues to explore the mansion with you, following you while you find your wings. You communicated to him about your wings and he knew this would be tough for you too but you were both glad you had each other in this moment.

When you saw your wings in a display case at the end of one of the hallways, you bit back tears. It was a lot to take in. You passed millions of dollars worth of paintings to reach the most priceless thing in this whole building. Rafayel lags slightly behind you, wanting to give you a moment. You turn to face him, telling him that you don’t know if you want the wings back or not. Would they make you complete again? They can’t bring anyone back, can’t take away the pain. You couldn’t hide them like Rafayel could hide his true form, would it be a nuisance?

Rafayel makes his way towards you as you ramble, clearly distressed. He quickly envelopes you in a hug, letting you cry lightly into his chest, a painting of Lucifer on the wall next to you. You stay like that for a while. When he finally pulls back, he cups your face with his hands. You were his fallen angel, he wasn’t always great with his words but he truly spoke from the heart when comforting you like this.

“You never needed these wings to be complete, you’re ethereal with or without them. You’ll always be my angel, no matter what.”

Thank you for reading!

|| MASTERLIST<3 ||

[unknownunidentified101]

𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀 𝐁𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

SCENARIO || In which he confines in you after experiencing so many lifetimes of you

WARNINGS || angst to fluff . Spoilers from the story

CHARACTERS || Rafayel, Zayne and Xavier

𝗭𝗔𝗬𝗡𝗘 ||

In his eyes he witnessed a blurry yet clear person ahead of him. The more he reached out, the more they seemed to walk away. “ forget me..dear Zayne” they muttered as a farewell. That beautiful tone was one that Zayne could never forget

Zayne reached out a hand, his chest felt like stopping right there, as if to keep the moment frozen in time. “ wait..” he manages to break his silence

The figure ahead spares no glances to him and continues into the ever lasting light. Zayne reached out his hand, his feet unable to move before he hears a voice call out to him

“ Zayne?” A worried tone cooed over him. Zayne’s eyes blink and they adjust to his surreal environment. “ your awake! Thank god, thought you were dead” he hears your voice

“ what..?” He manages to find his glasses beside him. “ you never sleep. Usually your awake” you grumble to the bewildered man

Zayne tries not to sound rude or harsh, “ what are you doing here?” He tries to back track to what he was doing before

“ I was worried. You haven’t picked up my calls. You haven’t ate either! And I’m pretty sure it’s time for you to go home” you rant. Zayne finds his lips curving upwards

Your voice still sounded like heaven to him.

“ now that you’re fine, I’ll leave this to you, the nurse told me to give it to you.” You sensed the silence Zayne was emitting. It felt suffocating.

Zayne’s eyes follow you as you quickly shuffle to his door. He then realises the person in his dreams were you. He still didn’t want to let you go just yet.

“ wait-“ Zayne springs out his chair and tugs your wrist

“ huh. What is it Zayne?” Your stare averting. His eyes weren’t as cold as before, they seemed to carve for something something. “ please…stay for a while” Zayne found himself silently begging

“ where’s this behaviour from?” You find yourself giggling at his request. “ …okay!” You give in after some silence

Before you could take another step, your eyes stuck out to him.

Your gaze was familiar, Zayne engulfs you into a tight embrace. “ I want you to look at me with those eyes forever ” he whispers in your ears

He means the eyes you gave when you were in awe or in love. He adores your eyes, just like in his past life, those eyes gave him so much closure. It didn’t matter who you laid your eyes on, he just wanted your eyes on him

You didn’t get him now, and you thought you would never get him. “ what eyes? ” you pat his shoulders

XAVIER ||

“ I don’t get your obsession with stars” you huff, crossing your arms

“ stars..?” Xavier repeats after you, his tone lacing with worry. “ I don’t know, you always look at those star charms and I saw some stickers in your apartment” you remark

Xavier’s lips quiver, stars. He smiles at your comment. You looked completely clueless to him, considering you started his obsession with stars a long long time ago.

“ their cute” he only states

“ cute? Okay..” you try to hide your excitement

“ does it bother you?” Xavier’s head tilts downward, his curiosity peaking at your sneaky comments. “ it’s just…I got this for you” you pull out a star charm

Xavier’s lips part, he is more than shocked at receiving a gift from you, it all happened so fast. “ I thought you would like it, considering you like stars” you try to hide your embarrassment

Xavier pauses for a brief moment, his memories haunt him like the flu. ‘ have this’ he still remembers your voice. The voice that offered him the very same charm. No matter how far he was from the stars, he would find you again and again.

He would go above and beyond to finally lay his eyes on you. No matter how you part, you will be reunited with him

“ do you not like it?” You were met with mere silence. Xavier snaps out of his daze and looks back at you. “ I love it” his tone is sincere

“ really..?” You felt proud

Xavier hides the sadness in his tone, “ I love it. So much” he adds. “ can I hug you?” He questions

You are a bit taken back at his comments. “ hug me?” You repeat

“ yes, as a thankful gift” Xavier waves his new charm to you. “ okay” you nod. Xavier pulls you closer without any more questions.

He wanted to be bound to you forever. No matter how many lifetimes it took him.

His hands lay on your head and waist. Now that you couldn’t see his face, his eyes soften. They threatened to cry

“ I knew you would come back.”

RAFAYEL ||

“ poor fish” he dismisses, only giving a glance to the fish in the tank. “ trapped without any freedom” he crosses his arms

“ reminds me of someone” you mutter, your fingers gazing over the glass

“ what makes you say that?” Rafayel’s interest is peaked, he looks back at you

“ I don’t know. I just felt like saying it. I don’t even know what I mean” you found it silly to think such thoughts

Rafayel takes a moment to admire your laughs. Reminds you of someone? Did you mean him? It all made sense considering what happened in your past life. Yet you didn’t remember an ounce of it.

Poor Rafayel. He hated waiting and for you to forget him made his heart ache uncontrollably. Yet, at least you were back together

“ at least the fish has someone with it” Rafayel points out a valid point. The fish was not alone in that tank, swimming with another fish. “ perhaps” you agree, staring back at Rafayel

“ is there anything else you wanted to do today?” You wondered, your mind thinking of all the possibilities. “ thinking about me my bodyguard ?” Rafayel teases

“ well you insisted today was special. So I took you out as a gift” you pouted, unaware today was the day you made a vow. A special vow with Rafayel before he could walk

“ what if I asked you for a even more unique gift?” Rafayel tilts his head. You look at him, clearly confused

“ can I get it right now?” You looked around for any stores. Rafayel shakes his head and takes your hand in his, stroking it softly

“ you’re the only one who has it you know” he trails off. “ what do you want?” You were keen to know what he wanted

“ the rest of my life with you” he mutters back.

[zaephix]

the little things / / xavier , zayne , & rafayel . . .

slight spoilers for their myth stories

the reason as to why XAVIER takes great care of his hair was unknown to you. why he laid his head down in your lap even after being glued to your side the whole day. the reason was simple, so that you could keep running your fingers through it. he'd gently guide your hands over to the top of his head, a soft chuckle as you kiss the button of his nose. to him, you were the core of his being, his star.

XAVIER can't stop the pleasant smile gracing his face as you revel in another victory, his eyes never leaving your form. in the same way that you ponder about what to eat for lunch, he wonders if anyone ever wished upon the stars that danced in your eyes. and as you both ready yourself for sleep, he'd found his answer. if no one else did, he'd glady be the first to do so. just ignore how his already slow heartbeat begins to slow even more against your back, how his mind travels back to that fateful night underneath the glistening cosmos. "i'll be by your side, always."

before heading to work, ZAYNE can never seem to leave your side. he'd be caught up in your soft snores, the way your chest slowly rises and falls, and your lips. he can't stop himself as he leans down to place a chaste kiss to the corner of your mouth, all the while making sure you're wrapped snugly in your blanket, your pillow fluffed from beneath you.

ZAYNE is the type of lover to text you as soon as he's on his break, asking to make sure you ate the breakfast he left for you in the kitchen, or that you remembered your wallet on the coffee table. you always tell him that he worries too much, that he should be focusing on himself, but how could he? not when his priority is your well-being, your state of self. just ignore how his breath seems to get shaky, the frost crawling up his skin and into his veins every time he's near you, sharp pains coursing through his muscle. "i won't forget you... not this time."

when it comes to showering you with affection, RAFAYEL seems to take the cake. kissing your knuckles every time he greets you, strategically pulling you away from work to cuddle with you, he knows just how and what to do at the right times. however, what he fails to notice is how he unconsciously looks for you the first thing he steps into a room, how his shoulders relax after realizing you're safe after you've texted him a little later than usual, how his hands linger a little too long in yours.

RAFAYEL has already come to the realization that he's head over heels for you long ago, just not fully realizing how bad it was. all within a second you were his bodyguard, his fishie, but most of all, his muse. he'd make the world his canvas - your eyes the rhythm hidden beneath the layers of paint. just ignore how he sometimes gets quiet when around you, his mind swirling like a paint brush dipped into watercolor. "fish are emissaries of the god of the sea, this... is my vow to you."

[beneathashadytree]

“ARE YOU USING ME FOR MY BODY?” - PRANKING THE LOVE AND DEEPSPACE MEN

Warnings : kinda angsty but also very fluffy, mentions of sex and lingerie but not NSFW, reader is gender-neutral!

Genre : hurt/comfort n fluffff

Additional notes : This was a request made by the lovely @otomempress and I decided to give it a little twist!! I headcanon that they’re all on the asexual spectrum (demisexual, to be precise), and so I tried to imply this in this SMAU. These men will always love you unconditionally and with 0 expectations, trust me on this🙏🏽💗

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[brailsthesmolgurl]

Delirious

No matter how much you had offered your heart and arms to him, you were never his. And he was never yours.

Another oneshot requested by my angsty babies, I am glad you chose Rafayel. Yes, the writer you had wished for is back. Hang on tight to your seats baby gurl, this one gonna be hard to swallow.

Warnings: Angst, no comfort. Make your eyes bleed. Character death. Descriptive Mentions of dark topics so if ur sensitive please refrain.

Artwork is not mine, please support the original artwork!

Ding Dong. Ding Dong. Ding Dong. dINg dOng. DiNg dOnG.

You slammed your door opened and the 183cm drama queen stands in your doorway, head hung low, face drooped towards the floor. If he is not made of solid muscle and bones, you would be watching him melting right into the floor. Sighing, you stood aside and let him in, not even bothering to ask him a single question. You sort of having a gist on what had happened.

"Here, soup for you." He replied solemnly, feet carrying him lazily across the living room and to your kitchen. He brought soup this time, must be something big. Him bringing a souvenir over also means he would probably be staying the night. Not that you guys are in a relationship or anything, but 'complicated' is the right term for the both of you as of this stage.

The chair creaked under his weight as he took a seat on the wooden chair slotted at your dining table. "Rafayel." You grabbed a tissue box and sat down on the opposite end, a good necessity whenever he drops by your house unannounced. His hunched over form under the harsh lighting of your dining room's light unexpectedly painted a blob of shadow on your table. You reached your hand out this time, finger tapped on the wooden table just a few centimeters away from his hand. "Rafayel, are you okay?"

"She broke up with me." His reply was short. No details, no whining, no accusations, but just one sentence. This is an untouched territory for you. Most of the time, he would pressed on the doorbell nonstop until you slam open the door and his lips would not shut off till he was done venting. There were a couple of times he did came in looking like a dreaded fish, but the smell of alcohol would be the perfume of his. Today, however, no alcohol smell and no usual harangues.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

Few days passed, till few weeks, then few months after. For such a while, Rafayel had been hanging out more frequently with you, bringing you to the most random places to hang out such as going to a bowling alley just to get their waffles because he claims he likes to watch people roll balls but he also likes the waffles there. A trip to the market only to buy crabs and releasing them into the backyard to watch which one could run the fastest then the winner shall be rewarded as dinner on the dining table.

He had never been weirder than ever, but maybe this is his way of coping and who are you to judge? You had never been in love. But reading through romance books and watching all of the romantic shows, when love comes to your mind, Rafayel comes to your mind. You thought, maybe you do love him?

"Get out." Your words were final. Index finger sliced through the air and pointed straight towards your front door. Your cheeks glistened under the reflecting light casted by the television that was playing a teen romance flick. But no attention was spared for the movie anymore. "Rafayel. GET. OUT."

"What do you mean?" Eyebrows sewn together, eyeing your expression that spelled hurt. He was confused about your sudden burst of anger. "All I did was talk about the movie. And you got mad at me all of a sudden."

"You did not talk about the movie. All you did, was compared me to her, with the context of the movie." Your nostrils flared, tears stinging at the back of your eyes as if you had inhaled poison. Your throat and chest tightening further the more you held your tears in. "You lied to me. You said you got over her." Your arm fell to your sides, voice feeble. "But, why do you always find the need to compare me to her?"

"Oh spare me, I just went through a breakup, I could use the space to let loose, can't I?" His ignorance egged you on, seeing how indifferent he is about this situation. "Furthermore, I could use the---"

"And you think it's okay to play with my feelings?!" You belted, eyes welled up with tears, blurring your vision. You stepped up to him, hands pointed towards his face this time and you seethed in anger. "You, came here everytime, when she broke your heart. And out of everytime, I stayed. I waited." Your voice started cracking. "I was there for you when you had nobody else. And I picked you up when you thought you could not live without her anymore."

"Well, you could have just left if you---" He chipped in and you slapped him across his face with your palm. Although your hands are small, but it packed enough of a force to cause his cheek to ache, an uncomfortable throbbing pain following afterwards. He left his head tilted to the side, taking in the reality of what had happened. He just got slapped by a girl. Never in his life, he thought he would do something so outrageous that he would get slapped across the face. Guess he just broke his streak of not getting slapped by women.

"I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU, CAN'T YOU TELL?!" You withdrew your hands and slid onto the floor, full on sobbing as you hugged onto your body to gain warmth for yourself. All of the blood had rushed up to your head which explains why you could not feel your legs anymore, hence the position on the floor. You desperately hoped Rafayel would grab you right now, and hug you tight within his arms.

You heard hurried shuffles, sound of keys jangling and a soft thud next to you. Those noises not tending to your curiosity at all. "I am sorry." His reply was bland, numb even. A sentence for remorse, also a sentence for a goodbye. The doors closed behind you and you were left alone, a forlorn soul basked within the lights emitted from the romance show. Silent sobs overheard by the moon that was peeking in through the windows of your sky roof.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

"Rafayel!" Thomas burst in the front doors, scurrying towards Rafayel's room at full speed after spotting the empty canvas sitting at the living room. Slamming the door that leads to Rafayel's room, the artist was sprawled out on the bed, his room so cold that Thomas could have just witnessed the North Pole without having to be there. The floor was surrounded in trash, papers crumpled up, pencils of all kinds used for sketching strewn across the floor. One may call it an organised mess, but Thomas calls this artist block.

"How long have you been in this room?!" Thomas shook Rafayel's shoulders to wake him up. "Your room is as cold as the cold storage that you use to store your seafood!" Thomas wasted no time in having to collect the pieces of papers and pencils on the floor, arranging them in his hand. "Why are you not done with---"

His nag came to a halt when Rafayel had sat up straight, back hunched over and eye bags the only colour present on his pale features. "What do you want?" Even his voice sounds hoarse, like a teen boy cycling through the age of puberty. "I do not wish to be disturbed."

"Your calls, as usual, went unanswered for the past few days so I helped myself by going over to ask y/n about your whereabouts because I thought you were staying with her pretty often these days." Placing the items onto the artist's white desk, Thomas turned to study his expression, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I know that look from somewhere." He squinted his eyes, studying him even further. "You had that same look when you caught your ex cheating on you that night." Thomas was referring to the girl that came before you. The one that had broke Rafayel's fragile heart. "Funny, now that I think of it, y/n's not doing any better than you."

Coming to realisation, the light bulb in Thomas' head flipped the switch. "Did anything happened to the both of you?"

"Did she asked anything about me?" Rafayel answered his question with another question. Eyes finally slanted upwards to face the manager of his. He just wanted to hear something, at least something to give him a reason to find her. He felt guilty, remorseful even for putting his burdens onto her. Leaving her all alone, drowning her in her own agony that day was the worse thing he could ever do to someone who had only ever been kind to him. And it took him three days to figure that out in his fish brain.

"No, she just asked me to hand you this." The older man reached into the pocket of his blazer, fishing a pink note out of his pocket and he handed it to Rafayel. The paper a little wrinkled, but the contents of it are a mark of your handwriting.

//𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝐼 𝓌𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒾𝓃 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝒶𝓈 𝐼 𝑜𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝒹𝒾𝒹.// Your cursive writing always a form of art to his eyes. A small, dainty note was all that takes for her to personally pass on the will to him. Rafayel stared at the note for a good minute, the wind coming out of the air-conditioner turning Thomas into a popsicle but filling the silence.

"I have to go." Rafayel uttered, hoisting himself out of the bed in one go and he threw on his dark pistachio green open collared shirt. The one you always quipped about how healthy his skin tone looks in it but with him constantly bantering that the green was a direct insult to his hair and eye colour. Just for this time, he would smother his ego, put on your favourite outfit, and head over to find you.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

The keys he held onto, the same set of extra keys you had entrusted him with, slotted into the keyhole and turning it clockwise, a 'clack' could be heard and he opened the door with the twist of the copper-painted doorknob. The balcony's sliding door remained opened, the sheer white curtains danced to the rhythm of the wind. The lights in your house were dimly lit, providing Rafayel with just enough lighting to navigate himself towards your room.

At this timing, in the middle of the night, he tiptoed through your wooden floors, afraid even the smallest of creaks would give you the spooks. He twisted the doorknob to your door but it jammed halfway. Trying again, with a bit more exerted force this time, the door remained unbudgable. "Y/N...?" He called out for your name, using his knuckle to give a light knock on your door. "It's me Rafayel. Can we talk?"

He was met with a deafening silence. Of course you would not want him to be anywhere near you, be it to hear him apologise for his stupidity or for him to comfort you within his arms. He bet you could care less about him given the last stunt he had pulled on you. He grappled for his phone, pulling out of his pant's back pocket and he turned on the screen, the light on his phone screen puts the dim lightings to shame.

He scrolled through his phone book till he stopped at your name, a heart symbol edited in next to your name. It was not just a stunt for him to catch your attention, the heart emoji has always been there, but after you had taken him in and allowed him to stay with you for a couple of weeks, the heart started making more sense to him, but poor Rafayel couldn’t distinguish what is love and what is bare attraction. If he could get to talk to you this time, then maybe the heart would mean the world to him. Maybe, maybe this time, he will not mess his speech up and break your heart again.

The phone was set to dial mode and he pressed onto the green call button, ready to receive shoutings from the other side of the room. Your ringtone rang, the stupid song for the Toothless Meme played on rewind. Did you slept a bit too well maybe? He called again, and the same scenario happened.

His heart was hit with a sudden pang of fear. You had always been a light sleeper and noticing the obnoxiously loud ringtone not even waking you up for the slightest bit, he decided to take a step back and bust down the door with his shoulder. Luckily, just with one hard nudge of his broad shoulders, the door dislodged itself.

So does his heart. Your whole room was thrashed, filled with the pink notes that you had given to Thomas earlier. Some were torn, some were sheathed, some had scribbles all over it, all of the notes littered with handwritten notes beyond his comprehension. Rafayel watched you, held up vertically, legs far from touching the ground, a noose was the only thing connecting you towards the ceiling. "Y/N!" He ran up to you and grabbed you, his lanky legs kicking all of the notes out of his way. "Y/N!"

A short burst of flames from his fingers burnt the noose and you fell to the floor. Your face a shade match to the moon that was sitting outside. Rafayel's hands fumbled with his phone, calling the emergency hotline as soon as he could. Strings of curses coming out of his mouth afterwards when he asked for help to be deployed to your location as soon as possible.

While awaiting for the ambulance, Rafayel did CPR, or at least what he could remember from the lesson he had taken years ago. Pumping steadily to a rhythm, blowing air through your mouth to hopefully deliver air to your lungs. The sirens of the ambulances huddled outside of your condominium, the blue and red lights adding on a speck of neon to the monotonous night.

"Stay with me please. Please stay with me y/n." Rafayel held you in his arms, your ice cold skin prickled against his warmth. His tears fell down his cheeks and continued its trail down your already tear-stricken face. He never thought his ruse would cause you this much damage. He thought that you could be the end to his delirium, and the start to his new reality.

The paramedics that arrived on the scene stood aimlessly at the door frame, watching the broken man in front of them, amidst the thrashed room, holding onto a lifeless body of a woman who seemingly cried herself to death.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

Angsty af, this piece is part and partial of my experience as I had once struggled with my mental health before, and it was also due to a shitty ex. But I am doing much better now, and writing this brings back those shitty feels that I used to have, but also reminded me of how much more happier and stronger I am now, and that I am not choosing death because of my ex! :)

But if any of you, do have issues with mental health, please do seek for reliable help. As cliche as it sounds, life is not at all bad if you have people that are supportive of your recovery journey. If you needed someone to rant to, my dms are always open <3.

I do not wish harm for any of my readers, and I want you guys to know that just as much as ur supporting my works, I want to be there to support you if you have any hardships in life as well. Just know that you are loved, and I love you <3.

Sincerely, Brails.

[lunamochii]

"I have always like to taste your lips.." || xavier x f!reader

cw // smut, dry humping, lots of kissing.

-♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

"Wait-"

"No. More, I want more."

Hands gripping tightly on his hoodie, his hands caressing and pressing on your thighs as he kisses you for the million time. Your mind have become fuzzy now as you get drunk on his kisses. Biting your lower lip his tongue once again slipped inside your mouth.

Xavier lets out a groan and presses his body towards you even more, you're currenly sitting at the counter with your upper body trap between his arms. You tried pushing him but his fast on capturing your lips.

"Xavier! Can't breathe..."

He hums in response and move his lips to your neck as he unbuttons your polo and trail his kisses. He looks up at you and grins seeing how you are a blushing mess. He again came up and starts to kiss you, his other hand rest on your lower back and you felt him grind his bulge to you, making you let out a moan

"Xavier you..."

You said eyeing his growing bulge but he only nibbled to your eyes, you can feel his hands slipping inside your shirt and found it's way to your breast and he starts to fondle me

"I love you.."

He whispered and began kissing you, he began to suck your tongue and then play with it with his own. His fingers pinching your nipple making you flinch, grinding to you he bit your upper lip

"I love you too Xavier.."

He smiles in content before pulling you close and he began to hump into you. His hands left your breast and holds you tight on your waist as you moan his name.

"Didn't know you like dry humping.."

You said and he only laughs softly before planting kisses on your neck that will surely leave a mark

"It's sexy y'know... plus you look so alluring right now.."

He answered his fingers playing with your hair before tugging on it and captured your lips for a passionate kiss before grinding faster and your moans got drown between the kiss you shared as you felt yourself came undone just by him grinding, though you take notice how he grip your waist tight as he freezes and moves away from your lips so he can rest his head on the crook of your neck.

Both of you capturing your breath before the two of you starts to laugh as he embraces you tight.

"Let's go and wash up. Our clothes are dirty now."

[httpswstef]

《 if you go i'll stay you come back i'll be right here. 》

warning : none 🥺 fluff, u might cry a little bit, pure love between rafael and reader ♡

synopsis : rafayel promised to love you forever and he always keep his primises.

words count : 1555.

characters : rafayel.

stefie : hi hello my babies ! ! this my first fic for rafael, sorry if i have any mistakes.

Rafayel had never thought that there would be such a peaceful moment in his life, where he would be able to let go of everything and just breathe the pure air, enjoying the beauty of the world reflected in his flawless eyes. It all seemed like a pipe dream that he had at a very young age, when he first met you and felt your whole soul, it was as if he saw your life together and what you would experience with him: all the hardships, happiness, love and tears. Rafayel may be the ultimate fool, but he is your fool and he doesn't need anyone else. You made his world the brightest colors and gave him a happiness he never dreamed of.

You looked at him only with eyes of love, so pure and kind, it seemed to Rafayel as if you were an angel, a real angel! As if you had a nimbus on your head, and you were a fragile vase that he could break in seconds if he touched you with his delicate fingertips, so he only looked at you, only watched and studied you, found only good and wonderful things that made him fall in love more and more, with every breath wanting to love only you in this life: to tie this life to you and only you, to listen to the beating of your heart every day and how tenderly you call him "Raf", it really fascinated him more than anything else. He wanted to hold only your palms, look only into your eyes and thank the universe for you, Rafayel... wanted to kiss only your lips, putting everything he had left into the kiss. He must have been so selfish to other people, but he didn't care, as long as you were around, he would be anything.

You were his dawn after nightmares, the May air after rain, the song he cried his throat out to and his soul mate, holding Rafayel's heart in your hands as if you were controlling his breath and life all at once, is that so... perfect?

Yeah, it's really perfect.

To find someone like you and to receive your love, all of it, without a single remnant, to receive your care on the hardest days and your support when there was no strength left to live, but you were there to help him, to help him start living again and to see the good in the world, to show him again the beauty of nature and what was hidden deep, beyond the human eyes that could spoil it. You reached out your hand to him and stayed by his side, even when Rafayel didn't deserve it, when he was lost in himself and silent all the time, not saying what happened and why he was hurting so much, and he didn't know it himself, but he was afraid that you would go away and leave him here, in this empty room that squeezed his throat and cut off his oxygen, killed everything alive inside and any hope in you.

But you stayed — you were with him, even in such a moment, you covered all the monsters and all the worries with your bright light, holding Rafael's hand tightly and not allowing him to fall off the cliff of sadness on which he so suddenly found himself, afraid that he might lose forever, it was tearing him apart completely, but all he wanted for you was happiness, even if he wasn't, even if it was someone else — the main thing was that you were happy and had finally found your paradise.

But he was so wrong. So very wrong. Didn't know much and was lost: he missed your warmth, and he wanted so much.

Rafayel was the best man for you, he was your soulmate, as if you were one and the stars were always bringing you together so that you would not lose your connection, so that you would love each other as much and fight for each other with the same strength, protecting each other from all possible adversities, opening your skeletons in the closet and revealing the worst secrets hidden somewhere at the end of the world, where there is no one, where there is only you and your intertwined fingers, as you once intertwined your heart together, creating your house of love, where there is absolute peace, where Rafayel is no longer afraid, where Rafayel is sure of your love.

Rafayel fell in love with you at first sight and never wanted to lose you again, he would sacrifice his life to see you live and breathe, he would do anything, even give up painting if you asked him to, he is so in love and it is impossible to get rid of it, he wants to keep you close to him all the time, to be charged with your warmth and listen to your honeyed voice, to which he falls asleep and has the most vivid dreams with you: where you are happy.

The first time you met Rafayel in kindergarten, he was so playful, loud and he was everywhere, getting to know everyone and making friends in seconds, he was a kind of sunshine among the frowning clouds: he was your sunshine. From the moment he accidentally bumped into you and caused you to fall, and it was just like in the most romantic movies: a broken knee, a little blood, your upset face because of a little pain and Raf's promise that he would do anything for your forgiveness, but were you angry with him? Probably not. After all, he had been so gentle with you and careful, even though he was a little kid who spoiled himself all the time, but even so he knew he had to save his jokes for another time.

And it was at that moment that Rafayel realized that you were the best person in all the years of his life, he was so young and not so smart enough, he was only a child, but he already wanted to be yours and vowed that for the rest of his days he would hold only your palms and love only you.

For starters, he gave you a ring made of the most common grass and made one for himself to show everyone that you were together now. He shared food with you and always brought you his best toys and even asked his mom to buy you something to see you smile. And his passion for art came from you, because Rafayel wanted to capture you in his paintings, to show the world how lucky he was to have you and that you were the right person for him. For the others, it was just a joke, a childish crush that would end in a few days, and if you knew how much it pissed Rafayel off, how could they say that about his feelings for you? When his love was so sincere, so sincere that no one had ever seen or felt it before. And it pissed me off more than anything that no one saw the seriousness of that love. No one. Except you.

But now Rafayel waits patiently for you to walk down the aisle and let him bind you finally, but with every second he loses any patience he once had, he can't wait to see you now and fall in love again, like in kindergarten. But now you're in a white dress with a veil on your head, and in your hands the most beautiful bouquet of flowers that he himself picked out for you and wouldn't let anyone else do it.

He waits and waits, but the moment he sees your silhouette Rafayel stops breathing and his heart no longer beats, and the others have ceased to have any meaning for him and only you exist, his crystal eyes are filled with love for you and the warmth with which he watches you as you come closer to him and tears begin to slip from his eyes, making his gaze even more puppyish and sweet, the one you first met and the one you remembered for the rest of your life.

Rafayel gently takes your hand and pulls you to stand across from him, listening clearly to his vows, holding the candle in his other hand.

" I once said that I would love you forever, that no one could separate us, but remember their reaction? They laughed, thought it was a joke and just a normal childhood crush, but it wasn't. It's much more than a crush. I want to be with you, I want to be with you. I want to be with you so much and I will be with you. Always, no matter what happens, I won't let us lose each other. Your name will stay with me forever and if that's what it takes, it will be the only name I will ever want to say. I looked into those faces and I couldn't forgive them for not being you and not having your soul. They were strangers and I looked for you in them, time after time hoping to meet your face and I did, and I would give anything for it. It is so beautiful to be loved by you, a man who accepts me with all my faults and loves every bit of my soul. With my hands I will dispel your sorrow and sadness, your cup will never be empty if you let me be your wine, my one and only. "

And the next moment the candle is in your delicate hands, lifting your eyes to Rafael and gazing into his marvelous eyes.

"Rafayel, there are a million reasons why I love you. You make me laugh and smile, you take care of me absolutely always, no matter how bad you feel yourself. You're sweet and so caring. You named all your paintings after me and have an exhibition you named after me too, and it makes me cry more every time. You make me feel protected and loved. But the biggest reason why I love you is because you're the best friend I've ever had."

Rafayel restrains himself with the last of his strength not to flood everything with his tears, you are the only reason he can be so emotional and crying. Your vows made his heart stop for those moments and he could only hear you, only your beautiful voice. Raf takes your hands in his, removing the candle and gently approaches you, leaning down to your face.

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes. Always yes, my only love."

[yuansie]

a blessed bond, broken by time

pairing. rafayel x fem! reader

synopsis. in each of his lives, you were the first he'd see and the first lemurian he'd befriend. a bond blessed by the god of the tides himself, only to broken in each life. even now, in this one.

genres/aus. angst, reincarnation au (?)

warnings. slight ooc on raf's part, slight spoilers/theories regarding rafayel and his myths and memories, including from the current event banner, reader isn't mc and mc is female (she doesn't have a name in here either!)

rating. sfw but make it lowk very angsty

wc. 1.3k word

part two here

a/n. HEHEHE i love angst (there will be a second part! posted tmrw. i hope. let's hope) this is NOT proofread (im lazy OIFEJAW)

RAFAYEL HASN’T SEEN YOU SINCE THE OCEANS DRIED UP, effectively separating the two of you. something has always separated you two before reuniting with his love, and the memory of you always seems to fade away into the depths of his mind. the memory of you collects dust in a hidden corner of his heart.

though sometimes, when he takes a stroll on the beach, as he gazes at the crashing waves, you slip from your hiding spot and make yourself known. it’s then that he thinks about you fondly, remembering the times you would follow after him as he blew out the sea lanterns of his neighbors, your voice echoing in the waters as you chastised him.

so now, as he walks on the sand and watches the ocean’s waters, he’s reminded of you. in his past lives, you always managed to be his friend. he dares to say that you were always best friends. when he was the god of the tides, you were his priestess. you became immersed in your duties, preventing you from seeing him and later died at the hands of the sea witch, becoming sea foam, something that would have never happened if you weren’t so adamant on fixing the problem yourself despite his protests. he knew that you did it to prevent him from meeting your fate. when he is reborn, he meets you again. you’re his neighbor and become his friend after taking the blame when he first gets caught blowing out your family’s sea lantern. he never sees you again after he swam up to the surface, getting stranded at the island where he saw her again. however, he faintly remembers hearing someone else’s tears besides hers as he sang in his final moments. and then in his next life, you were his teammate. you were guarded, maintaining a distance from him. it was weird to see you like this towards him. perhaps, his past betrayals towards you finally caught up to him. but then you slowly let him, and your bond in that life was stronger than in his past lives. was it because you were on a mission to reclaim the sea with him? but then he betrayed you again because it meant harming her. and he remembers the tears and anger in your eyes, how they burned and how his image was reflected in your e/c’s hues. you promised that you would never forget this and that if you were given another chance, then you would never forgive him. you told him that you were done, that you hated him and never wanted to see him again because how dare he betray his people? betray his people over a love bound to always end in despair? you left him and he has never seen you again.

in this life, he has yet to meet you. or maybe he can’t anymore. he has already met his love again. you’re the first one he meets in every life… except for this one. rafayel thinks back to your last words: if you were given another chance… did you remember your past lives? did you remember everything? then are the fates finally fed up with him? did the fates decide that you deserved better? he knows that you do deserve better. you deserve someone better than him, someone who doesn’t continuously take advantage of you and who instead cherishes you and your entirety. perhaps… perhaps it is better this way. for your fate with him to be severed forever.

your friendship was one blessed by him when he was the god of the tides. your friendship was to be a symbol of perseverance and undying loyalty. he should have known that it would wear and break.

all because of him.

“i’ve been waiting for who knows how long,” rafayel huffs into his phone and toys with a fork in his free hand, glaring at it as a pout forms on his lips. “and you’re just answering?”

“rafayel, i’m a hunter. i can’t always answer your calls.”

“hunter this, hunter that,” he groans, leaning back into his chair. his eyes drift towards the windows of the restaurant he’s at, looking at the people that walk down the street. “you’re my bodyguard, and i thought you told me you were free today? at this exact time? so why are you so late?”

“something came up—”

her words fall on deaf ears.

his blue-pink eyes widen in shock and he jumps up from his seat, heart pounding.

he was so sure that he wouldn’t see you again. he was so sure that he was the last lemurian, the last of his kind that walks this earth.

the door slams shut after him, and he wastes no time in following the sound of your voice that grows quieter. rafayel runs past people and pushes through them; all he can think about is you, you, you.

what are you doing here? how are you even here?

did the fates give him another chance? did the fates give him an opportunity to make things right? to salvage a blessed and sacred bond?

soon enough, he finds you standing in front of him with your back to him. you’re different. he sees it in the way that you carry yourself. rafayel is in the midst of memorizing everything he sees until the sound of your laughter, so melodious and clear, fills the air. it’s like he and the world stops breathing, wanting to engrave this sound in his memory. it’s been so long since he’s seen you, much less heard you. 

“thank you for accompanying me, doctor.”

doctor? are you sick? are you feeling okay?

“it is quite alright, y/n.”

he hears you playfully scoff and nudge a man that stands in front of you. he’s taller than you, has dark hair and hazel eyes. 

“zayne, there is no need to be this formal with me. after all, aren’t we friends?”

friends. friends. friends.

“well—”

“rafayel!” an all too familiar sound steals his attention. he whips around, as do you and the doctor, and watch as a familiar figure approaches rafayel. the female hunter heaves and grabs him by the shoulder, looking concerned. “what happened? you suddenly went quiet on the phone and you wouldn’t respond! i was—”

rafayel glances back at you, meeting your gaze. your eyes, still the same shade of e/c that he hasn’t been able to recreate, widens in surprise. he takes this moment to commit your features to memory. it’s been so long since he’s seen you, surely he’s allowed to do this before you disappear like a dream? you still look the same, still so lovely like the flowers you used to like. do you still like them? the surprise soon fades from your face, hardening instead. rafayel stops breathing, his heart racing in fear.

do you hate him?

“oh! doctor zayne, what are you doing here?”

you take this chance to whisper something into the taller man’s ear, your hand on his elbow acting as an anchor as you tiptoe to meet the man halfway. his heart lurches, his stomach twisting and turning. you don’t spare rafayel a second as you turn and walk away, disappearing into the crowd. he’s lost in daze, all of his thoughts on you.

you, you, you.

“oh, who was that with you? she was very pretty,” she says, a teasing smile soon tugs her lips upwards. “is she your girlfriend, doctor zayne?”

rafayel chokes, coughing. did you have partner? is it this doctor? do—

“ah, that is y/n. she’s just a friend.”

at the revelation of your name, rafayel’s heart quickens. it is you, his best friend. the priestess in his first life, his best friend in the second, and his teammate in the last one.

you’re here.

“rafayel,” her voice, worried, echoes in his ears. “you’ve been oddly quiet. are you alright?”

oh, what is he thinking? rafayel’s stomach churns in discomfort. he’s here with her, yet you plague his mind. that isn’t right, he shouldn’t be like this. he loves her. this isn’t fair to your or her.

he should just let go… shouldn’t he?

he knows he should but he doesn’t want to. just this once… he should make things right.

[xvysarene]

𝕋𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕎𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤

Pairing: Rafayel x Fem!Reader Prompt: “You left me to drown.” Words: ~2.2k Genre: Light Angst, Comfort, Suggestive (mild)

The sky was awash with streaks of crimson and gold bleeding into the indigo expanse, signaling the impending dusk.

You stopped beside the colossal sea stack, admiring the breathtaking view. Waves crashed against the weathered rocks with gentle tranquility, a stark contrast to the turmoil within your heart.

“Are you done running?” a whispered voice carried away by the salty breeze.

Voice that you hadn’t heard for almost a year.

You couldn’t help the wry chuckle escaping your lips. “Last time I remember, I was the one waking up to an empty bed after a night of giving myself to you.”

Your skin involuntarily tingled with the residual sensation of his touch. His lips, warm and insistent, had traced a map of pleasure across your skin, exploring every curve and contour with a thoroughness that left you breathless and wanting more.

Months-long restrained emotion bubbled up to the surface. "Thomas couldn't find you, your aunt couldn't find you, even your bodyguard couldn't find you. So pray tell Rafayel, are you done running?"

Even in the fading light, you could see him taken aback by the hostility dripping from your words.

“I thought you would be happy to see me after all of this time.”

Exasperatedly you turned towards him, finding him standing several steps away from you.

He looked the same, if not even more handsome, and you hated that it made the fury inside your heart momentarily dim.

All-white button-up and trousers hugged his figure, one he knew that you loved as if it was a tactic to unravel you. He was a blank canvas in the explosion of colours surrounding you both.

“No notes, no messages, all I'm left with is a ridiculously priced ring adorning my finger." You rubbed the now empty ring finger, still feeling the phantom weight of the gemstone.

He didn’t miss the gesture. “Did you not like the ring? Is that why you threw it away to the depth of the sea?”

“Is that all you can say after walking out of my life?” Your voice rising, annoyed at his nonchalance.

Annoyed at the absurdity of this situation like you hadn’t seen each other for months.

His brows furrowed at the accusation. “I did not walk out of your life, didn’t you receive the stuff I sent you?” 

If he was referring to the plethora of stuff stacked inside a box under your bed collecting dust, then yes you did receive them.

You had attempted to decipher the meaning behind the items he sent each month, desperately trying to connect them with his whereabouts, but to no avail.

Even with the resources and connections Thomas had, Rafayel seemed to be always one step ahead, not leaving any breadcrumbs of where he might have gone next.

“You are present in all of my paintings; you remain a constant in my thoughts,” he continued when you remained silent.

Since his departure, new paintings arrived biweekly or monthly at Mo Art Studio, each delivery serving as a soothing balm for Thomas's weary soul.

It wasn't until his manager pointed out certain colour choices and what you had always considered random lines and patterns that you began to notice elements of yourself in his paintings; the shade of your irises, the main lines on your palms, the arch of your eyebrows watching his antics.

You gritted your teeth. “Provide a reasonable explanation for your lack of verbal communication.”

He tore away from your gaze, suddenly looking timid, hand rubbing the back of his neck. It was a habit of his whenever he felt nervous. “I embark on a self-discovery,” he began.

“I needed some time for internal reflection. It allows me to really dive deep into my thoughts and emotions without any external distractions—just let me explain first,” he said rapidly before you could chide him on thinking that you were a distraction.

Honestly, you couldn’t even voice out any response as that wasn’t the answer you were expecting.

“I've been overly reliant on you, and limiting our communication forced me to depend on my own. I want to be someone you can rely on instead; someone you can lean and depend on.”

“What about that woman, then?” you blurted out, the question heavy on the tip of your tongue ever since you had first come across the article.

It had been seven months and two weeks since his absence when you stumbled upon the article.

Normally, you weren't particularly tuned into the fashion industry, but somehow the news from Nexusburg had found its way onto your daily curated feed.

You had vaguely recognised the designer’s striking face and figure. Your attention, however, zoomed in on those unmistakable tendrils of dusky purple hair, despite most of his head being obscured by the dark tint of the limousine’s window.

“I commissioned her to create… something of great significance.” You sensed ambiguity lacing his words. “You know how reporters constantly fabricate stories that lack truth."

“Do they, really? Lack of truth?”

Rafayel approached you with hesitant steps, fearing you might slip away from his advance.

“You left me to drown, Rafayel." The words pierced through him like shards of glass. “Drowning in ‘what if’s’, drowning in my insecurity.” 

As he drew near, he took in the multitude of emotions playing across your face: hurt, confusion, anger.

“You were gone for eight months. Eight months! Did you believe that merely slipping a ring onto my finger would make me feel better for your absence?”

The anger drained your body of energy as you sank onto the rock behind. Jagged edges kept you painfully aware that this was reality, not a mere figment of your imagination.

“I'm sorry,” he pleaded. 

"You're selfish, Rafayel," your voice trembled with a mixture of anger and hurt. "You know my insecurity gets the best of me at times, and yet you didn't even stop to think for once on how I would feel…this is not the first time."

You could see the moment realisation began to flicker in his bluish-pink eyes.

When Rafayel hired a new female bodyguard and began spending a significant amount of time with her, it left you feeling uneasy.

It wasn’t until his own bodyguard confronted him in front of you, chastising him for neglecting your feelings and the lack of communication as she noticed your distress, that you finally felt at ease with their relationship. You understood their brother-sister dynamics.

But this time, days turn to weeks, and weeks turn to months since you last saw him. Doubts began to plague your mind.

“It was nothing like that,” he protested. “Nexusburg was my last stop. I had thought of returning as soon as the designer finished her work.”

The article's prominently highlighted phrase 'SECRET ROMANCE' had stirred your restless heart to its breaking point that day.

You recalled standing atop the very sea stack towering behind you, witnessing the light glinting off the ring as you cast it into the unforgiving waves below.

"You went on a journey of self-discovery, but it seems like you've forgotten why you needed it in the first place.” 

Rafayel's heart constricted with guilt. “I never meant to make you feel that way, I—I thought you would understand.”

Then, he retrieved something from his pocket, causing your breath to catch in your throat.

“How…?!”

The marquise-cut lilac tanzanite glimmered with a captivating hue, casting a hypnotic light against the backdrop of twilight skies. Delicate accents of soft pink pearls surrounded the gemstone, lending a gentle touch to the intricate design.

It still managed to steal your breath away, its beauty as enchanting as ever.

"I specifically requested the bijoutier to blend my crushed scales into the band. It brings me comfort knowing that you’re safe, and knowing that you think of me whenever you touch it.”

He traced his finger along the smooth surface of the gemstone, the memory of him quietly placing the ring while you slept was as clear as yesterday in his mind.

The outline of your figure etched against the soft glow of dawn. Vivid shade of pinkish-red blemishes against your skin, evidence of the intense night shared between the two of you.

“It motivates me to finish my journey, so I can return to your embrace as soon as possible… Until you threw it away and I thought of the worst.”

You gazed at him in disbelief as he unveiled that the ring held far greater significance than you had ever imagined.

Who would have thought that he could charm the ring that way? Everything slowly made sense why he had immediately called you repeatedly moments after you threw the ring.

Then there was Aunt Talia rushing towards you, tousled and wide-eyed, far from her normally immaculate appearance as you made your way back down.

Barefooted, as if she had rushed out of her nearby house in a hurry.

He returned just two days after you had discarded the ring. When calls were left unanswered, he enlisted Thomas and his bodyguard.

You had threatened to call the police on Thomas when he couldn’t stop appearing in front of your front door. His bodyguard, the only one with a working mind it seemed, nodded in understanding and promptly ushered Thomas away from your doorstep.

“The ring reminds me of you,” longing laced your voice.

As you glanced down at the beauty, the sparkling gemstone and pearls seemed to reflect his hair and eye colour. Its elaborate design mirrored his complexity; intricate and beautiful yet multifaceted.

“And here I thought that you didn’t like the pearls I handpicked… I knew that it was too good to be true when the oysters were being friendlier than usual.” 

Pale skin crimsoned as he snapped his mouth shut. His flow of thoughts always seemed to have a mind of their own, escaping from his mouth before he could rein them in.

It was frustrating how you still found it endearing, even at times like this. Perhaps the lover you knew hadn’t changed much after all.

A heavy sigh escaped your lips, "Rafayel, you can't just waltz into my life again as if nothing happened.”

"I know I messed up, Y/N," he admitted, his eyes pleading for understanding. “But I couldn’t stand away any longer."

Despite your anger towards his actions, you couldn't deny how much you had missed him too.

He inched closer, giving you plenty of time to move away, however, you remained rooted to the spot.

Familiar strands of dusky purple hair, the very ones you had passionately tangled your fingers in as he ravished you the last time, just within arm's reach now.

A hand reached out, moving away your salty-breeze ruffled hair from covering your face.

"Why did you choose to see me again at last?"

Aunt Talia had invited you for a high tea, weeks after Rafayel's persistent attempts to see you finally ceased. Deep down, you knew that this was another attempt made by him. 

But you remembered how the older woman had opened her doors whenever the insecurity became too strong during his absence, and it felt disrespectful to sever ties just because you weren't ready to face her nephew.

“Rafayel is coming,” Aunt Talia calmly said moments earlier.

The clink of her cup meeting the saucer caused you to jerk, tea sloshing around your rose-adorned cup dangerously.

“You’re free to leave anytime, I’m not going to force you to meet him.”

Looking up, you found orchid-coloured eyes boring into yours.

“Just keep in mind that he will never stop searching for you. Yes, he’s selfish, but you know how us, Lemurians, are,” she sighed then, “ We're relentless when it comes to protecting what we cherish. And you, my dear, hold a special place in his heart.”

"I needed to understand why you did what you did, why you left without a word,” you finally admitted.

Regret flickered his eyes. "I should have been more considerate.” 

As his long fingers traced the curve of your jaw, your breath hitched. It had been too long since you felt his caress against your skin, and you found yourself longing for more.

Laboured breaths and dilated pupils told you that his body had reacted similarly. Finding the mutual desire in your eyes, he closed the gap between you without any word.

Lips collided in a fervent kiss. Fueled by a mix of pent-up pain and yearning. Each brush of his lips against yours was a plea for forgiveness, a desperate attempt to mend the fractures in your relationship.

Bodies molded together, fitting like pieces of a puzzle long overdue for completion. There was an insatiable hunger for each other that needed to be satisfied.

"I will wait for you, whenever you're ready to accept me again in your life," he murmured gently as his lips parted from yours.

You met his gaze, seeing the sincerity in those bright orbs you loved so much, and felt a tug at your heart. Silently, he took your hand and slid the ring back onto your finger, to its rightful place.

The same lips that you had just kissed earlier were now on top of the lilac gemstone.

“Keep this so I know that you’re safe, and whenever you’re ready—” Artist's palms cradled your face, thumbs caressing your cheeks lovingly. “I’ll be waiting for you at the end of the aisle, witnessing your beauty wearing the veil I've designed just for you."

As the light faded on the horizon, you realised that perhaps this love was worth fighting for, even if it meant navigating through the perilous waters of forgiveness and redemption.

[gentaro-kinniecom]

In another life, perhaps

Characters: Love and deepspace boys x gn!reader

C/w: Angst, events in which the boys remember a specific memory with you before returning to the reality. Reader calls Rafayel “Raf” for short and he calls them his beloved. First person pov !

A/n: I’ve never almost written angst before so 😭 I’m in the making of a few love and deepspace fanfics so..we’ll see <3

Xavier

It was the first time I’d see him cry. Xavier’s tears ran down his cheeks while looking up at the stratosphere. The stars seemed to shine bright for him, as Xavier turned towards me, he held my hand close to his chest where his heartbeat was. Almost as if he didn’t want to let go, I then looked up at the same starry sky that he was staring at a few moments ago. A shooting star appeared suddenly, my eyes never leaving it as I spoke.

“Did you make a wish?” I inquired, wiping his tears away while watching as he drew me closer.

“Yes, of course I did”

“What did you wish for?” His eyes were glossy as Xavier responded, brushing stray hairs away from my face.

“I wished..to have you by my side, always.” I chuckled, hitting his chest slightly as Xavier watched with an amused face.

“You’re so silly! Of course I’m going to be here forever, do you ever doubt it?” More tears streamed down his face, sitting close to the gravestone while placing some white lilies, whispering his final goodbyes

“Promises don’t last forever after all..but I’ll be waiting somewhere, if the stars allow us to meet again”

Rafayel

“Why are you crying Raf?” I asked, brushing some tears away from his face. Rafayel was pouting slightly as he kept me close, waves crashing against the shore, the only sound surrounding us.

“Who said I was crying?” He spoke, voice cracking as evidence of what he felt at the moment. My hands took hold of his shoulders, leaning against his chest while Rafayel looked at the many seashells that washed up from the current waves. I then grab his chin, pulling him down to see his eyes a bit red from all the crying.

“Your eyes say otherwise, Rafayel. Tell me, what troubles you?” Rafayel then pressed up a conch shell against my ear, allowing me to hear the sounds of the ocean while falling asleep on his shoulder. Waking up minutes later to see that I was still in his arms, a vice grip around my waist supported my body up, almost as if he was afraid of losing me.

“I don’t want to ever forget you, please, stay” My gaze falls upon the necklace around my neck, taking it off and wrapping it around Rafayel’s while smiling

“I’m not going anywhere Raf, I’m sure of that. '' The water felt cold around Rafayel’s body as he submerged himself in the depths of the ocean, trying to keep the memory of them alive, holding the necklace around him softly while staring into the vast sea.

“If only I hadn’t let you go, my beloved”

Zayne

Watching the northern lights while Zayne cried was such a rare sight to see. The always stoic doctor had been reduced to nothing but shambles at my presence, I smiled, hoping it would comfort him as Zayne’s body stood beside my own despite the cold.

“Zayne..?” His eyes looked into mine, trying to get a sense of his current reality while I felt my fingertips go cold due to the freezing temperatures.

“Don’t worry about me..but you’re freezing, allow me.” Without even asking for anything, Zayne’s hands intertwined with mine. A small smile made my worries cease a bit while he kissed my now warm hands so tenderly, what did I even do to deserve this type of treatment from him?

“Are you sure? The northern lights are a sight to behold but..” I trailed off, sitting down on one of the chairs Zayne was kind enough to bring for tonight. My hands never seemed to leave his grasp, almost as if he’d never want to let go.

“If you could ask the universe for anything, what would it be?” My sudden question made Zayne’s face light up slightly, looking at me before gazing at the sky and its beautiful spectacular. He took a deep breath before answering.

“I’d ask the universe..for more time; the one thing I didn’t have to save you and now..I’ve lost you once again.” Zayne glanced now at the empty seat beside him that contained the scarf he gifted her, holding back tears while gazing at the nightly sky.

[kreishin]

Thinking about mermaid/siren reader being left alone by rafayel for mc😩

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.

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i live for the angst

[unknownunidentified101]

LND HEADCANNONS

WARNINGS | slight angst and suggestive

CONTAINS | Rafayel, Xavier and Zayne

ABOUT | random head cannons with love and deep space men

RAFAYEL

He has a fear of heights, it doesn’t help his job requires him to travel around the world. With that, he will always finds some solace in you

“ remind me why you called me again?” You stood at the entrance of the gateway to the plane. Rafayel tries to ignore your question, submitting his plane ticket to the flight attendant

“ earth to Rafayel?” You were slightly annoyed, having been called at 5am to go to the airport

“ gosh I thought the sight of the airport would answer that question” Rafayel sighs. You remain adamant, waiting for a proper response

“ fineeee. I’m going away for an art exhibition, I wanted to take you with me” Rafayel explained, dragging you inside the awaiting airplane

“ why? Isn’t Thomas coming with you!” You huffed, crossing your arms in a fit. Rafayel pauses and turns back to you. “ you’re my body guard no?” He tries to mimic a puppy’s eyes

“ I am but this sort of thing doesn’t really require protection” you refer to the airplane. Seeing that you wanted to leave, Rafayel grabbed your wrist

“ I’m just scared of heights okay?” Rafayel confessed. You were bewildered. Him? Afraid of heights? You would think he would be use to flights by now

“ why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Your tone softened

“ you would bully me” Rafayel pouted. You felt guilty, you were acting like a brute before.

“ I wouldn’t…in fact, I’ll support you.” You stare down, intertwining your fingers with Rafayel’s . “ if there is no stable ground, I’ll be your land” you vowed

Rafayel parts his lips, in awe at your words. “ just tell me next time” you smile tenderly, leaning upwards to give the man a peck on the lips

EXTRA NOTE : Rafayel made you hold his hand the entire flight ( and you sat in the window seat)

Has thing for holding you very tightly. Most people would give you a squeeze but Rafayel finds himself leeching onto you

“ she said she would be here soon!” Rafayel complained to Thomas. “ I already called her, she will be here soon” Thomas was also getting increasingly annoyed

“ did you even call the right number?” Rafayel whined, Thomas snapped back, “ I did! I heard her voice!”

“ just great” Rafayel mumbled, slumping back in his seat. “ if only you didn’t lose your phone in the accident” Thomas mumbled under his breath

“ I heard that!” Rafayel sprung out of his hospital bed

Before Thomas could utter another word the sounds of the door unlocked. “ [y/n]?” Rafayel’s hopes were exceedingly high

“ Rafayel!” Your frantic voice echoed through the hospital room. Thomas had a relieved expression while Rafayel sprinted to you, ignoring the wires attached to his body

“ Baby!” Rafayel was like a little child, squeezing you tightly. All his resentful emotions were long gone by now.

His lips peppered you with numerous kisses

“ Rafayel” you breathed, or at least you tried too, he was squeezing you like no tomorrow. “ Rafayel! Too tight” you had to mutter

Rafayel instantly let’s go, scared he hurt you. “ I’m sorry! I missed you so much” he held your hand

“ me too. Now get back to your bed mister! I have to lecture you!”

He has frequent nightmares of you killing him or vise visa. It disheartens him to think about it, knowing he can’t cry it out.

Rafayel wakes up in cold sweat. His eyes frantically search the room. You weren’t by his side and that’s what saddened him.

He had a recurring dream, the moment where you perished. It was unbearable for him. With a cold breath, Rafayel hazily stumbled out his room

While arriving outside his room, there was a dim light in his studio. He was confused, usually his studio would automatically have the light off at night

With his guard up, he walked into his studio. However instead of a thief, it was you.

Relief washed over him. You were the only person he wanted to be with right now. “ [y/n]?” He calls your name

Your back was faced to him and as you heard his voice you were startled. “ oh Rafayel! I was just taking a walk” you walk to the man

“ I was wondering where my lover went” Rafayel couldn’t help but chuckle. “ did I worry you? Are you okay?” You asked many questions while carelessly caressing Rafayel’s cheek

“ I’m fine. Just a bad nightmare” Rafayel admitted, rubbing his face into your hand. “ poor you” you coo, wrapping your hands around the man’s neck

Rafayel hums, wrapping his arms around your waist. “ can we go back to the bed now?”

“ okay”

He has SO many moles.

You sat next to Rafayel while he muses about his latest painting. You couldn’t help but realise the small moles on his face

“ your moles are cute Rafayel” you mention. Rafayel stops painting, placing his paint brush down

“ what?” He wants to hear you again

“ your moles. I could kiss them all day” you teased with a smirk. Rafayel’s cheek turn to a hue of pink, “ you know, they say your moles are where your past lover kissed you” you point out to Rafayel’s moles

Rafayel smiles. Ironic because you were all his past lovers. “ Is that so? Should I claim you now then?” Rafayel gains the courage

You were a bit startled by his comment but you gave in to his alluring eyes. Not long after you found yourself colliding lips with Rafayel.

Every time he looks at you, he gets a wave of adrenaline, he vows that one day, he will marry you.

“ beautiful isn’t it?” You pointed at the flowers embedded in the garden. Rafayel only has eyes for you, “ really beautiful” he emphasises, eyes fixated on you

“ are you even looking at the flowers?” You turn to Rafayel’s soft gaze

“ the only beautiful flower I see, is you.” Rafayel gently whispers. “ In fact, you are even prettier than a flower” he adds

You feel butterflies swarm in your stomach at the mention. “ can you promise me something?” Rafayel inquires

Your body faces him, letting him know you were listening to him. “ promise me, you’ll never leave me” Rafayel pulls you closer to him

“ where is this coming from?” You giggle at the mention. Rafayel’s eyes hold seriousness, letting you know he was not joking. You feel his hands hover over your lip

“ never mind. I will Rafayel, I will never leave you” you pinky promise, making Rafayel relieved. “ good, in that case, I’ll marry you then.” Rafayel leaned in for a loving kiss

And indeed, he will marry you again.

XAVIER

Despite always being sleepy and being on the verge of knocking out, Xavier always tries to stay awake for you.

“ and I couldn’t believe it Xavier! The nerve of that woman” you ranted. It was late at night and you just got home after a mission

“ that woman had no sense of respect” Xavier added. “ I know! And she yelled at me” you ranted even more.

You were frustrated and annoyed, throwing your pillows on your bed. “ but I’m sorry for annoying you Xavier, you probably want to sleep” your tone changed

There was some silence before Xavier softly answered. “ no. Keep going. I love hearing your voice.” He muses

“ are you sure? I don’t want to bore you” you lay on your cushioned bed. “ you could never ‘bore’ me dear” Xavier breathed

You couldn’t tell if he was going to sleep or not but nevertheless you chatted your head off. You thought Xavier would fall asleep but he would always hum and give you short sentences in response

He made you feel appreciated

Sometimes when you speak, Xavier can’t help but stare at your lips. His a very bold man, therefore he kisses you to stir you up

“ Tara said she would buy me these” you pout at recalling a fond memory. Xavier stays silent, listening to your rant

“ Is that so?” His eyebrows show interest

“ yeah but she ended up buying this for herself” your pout was abnormally large. Xavier stared with pitiful eyes

You were utterly breathtaking. You put him under a spell he could not resist

“ but you know it’s okay-“

Before you could finish your sentence, a pair of lips engulfed your own. You were stunned to say the least, closing your eyes after registering Xavier’s actions

“ Xavier..” your tone whined as Xavier parted from your lips. “ I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist myself, you were too cute” Xavier teases.

“ you sly fox” you mock, feeling Xavier pull you even closer to him. “ say that again and I’ll give you even more kisses”

You always have your way with him. He always finds himself losing to you. His utterly intoxicated by you.

“ what if you Iose?” Xavier looks at the card in his hand. “ if I lose..?” You begin to ponder

“ if I lose, I pay for the meal tonight” you wager. Xavier is intrigued by your words. “ alright then, loser pays for tonight’s dinner” Xavier readies his cards

You were determined but that wouldn’t last long. You see, despite Xavier not knowing half the rules of the game, he somehow had an advantage over you

The problem was he knew he was going to win. Xavier looks up at your worried expression. You seemed frustrated and it was evident you didn’t want to lose

Xavier smiles. It was never his intention for you pay for the dinner you two would be having that night. Xavier stays silent, closing his eyes

He knew you would take the bait and swap the kitties in the cup. As soon as your shuffling finished, Xavier peeked his eye open

“ huh. The cats position seems off” he plays it off like a natural. “ Is it? Can’t tell” your laughs were stifled

Xavier’s lips stay upwards. “ guess I’m the loser then.” Xavier surrenders. You swayed him into losing and he didn’t regret any bit of it

He did it all for the smile on your face.

“ I’ll pay for the dinner tonight okay?”

He spends majority of his time looking after you. Even when you don’t see him.

“ Xavier are you there?” You had called Xavier after talking with your friends

“ what do you mean?” Xavier tries to make it sound like he just woke up. “ i thought I saw you behind me” you begin to worry

“ I’m at …home” Xavier says after some hesitation.

“ are you? You know the craziest thing happened to me” you begin to retell. “ tell” you could feel Xavier’s nod through the screen

“ I was talking with my friend and suddenly the light nearby went off, so he left me alone” you explained. “ what’s crazy about that” Xavier’s voice seems forced

“ I’m scared to walk home but then a speck of light comes down and guides me” you sounded crazy

“ really..?” Xavier tries to hide his cheeky voice

“ yeah, the light reminded me of you. To bad I never got to finish my conversation with my friend” there was a glint of sadness in your speech

“ you sure? 23 minutes was enough” Xavier spurted out.

You had a smirk on your face. “ how did you know we talked for that long?” It was your turn to tease him. Xavier goes silence, caught red handed

“ you cheeky star.” You joked. “ anyway, open the door, I’m outside your house” you knock on the door

Xavier shuffles and panick envelopes him. “ that is…unless you aren’t home?” You were too smart for him

The sounds of the call hanging up are heard and you hear footsteps approaching you

“ fine. You caught me” Xavier’s voice rings from behind you. “ you really are cute Xavier ” you smile, hugging the man

“ whatever” Xavier hides the sourness in his voice, kissing your forehead.

A HUGE tease

You were relaxing in Xavier’s sofa after he called you over. Playing on your phone you hear the door unlock.

Sitting up quickly, your eyes dart to Xavier. Xavier appears before you, only wearing pants with a towel slinging around his neck

You felt hot instantly, Xavier spots you after he attempts to dry his hair. “ ah, you caught me” he smiled at your reaction

You feel Xavier’s footsteps travels over to your position. “ what’s wrong? Do you have a fever?” Xavier grazes a hand over your cheek

“ or…are you embarrassed?” A sly smirk appears on his lips

“ go away Xavier” you fluster up. Xavier giggles. “ you’ve seen me like this before…so why are you acting all shy now?”

ZAYNE

When you happened to be partying one time, Zayne had to bring you back home. However this was proven to be a challenge when you wouldn’t budge, so instead, he carried you over shoulder his shoulder

“ let’s go [y/n]” Zayne meets you at a night club. Sure enough, you were very drunk

“ party pooper” you mock, trying to drink another glass of alcohol. Quickly and swiftly the drink is swapped from your hands.

“ I don’t like that tone” Zayne softly holds your cheek.

“ hey! Zayne I was drinking that!” You slur to Zayne’s stoic face, Zayne observes your drunken state and smiles softly. “ time for you to go home” Zayne reminds

“ I don’t want to go home. I’m fine right here” you were still in your seat

Zayne is tired, and more over, he knows you weren’t in a stable state. “ i see how it is” He sighs, grabbing your waist while pulling you in

“ what are you doing!” Before you could finish your speech, Zayne lifts you over his shoulder.

“ Hey! Put me down!” You throw a fit while the man couldn’t care any less

“ I told you to go home” Zayne holds you securely. Waving to all your friends. “ this is so embarrassing” you grumble, Zayne’s lips begin to grow a smirk in victory

Zayne sometimes notices the way your desk is scattered with papers and books, being a small clean freak, he cleans things for you without being asked

Zayne passes by your table. It looked like a truck had wrecked your room. Your table had notes scattered everywhere

Sticky notes were folded and pages looked worn out. Zayne sighs, knowing you just had your final exams. You weren’t at home as of currently,

So silently, without being ordered to, Zayne cleans your desk and eventually, your room. He makes sure to keep boundaries, knowing not to mess with your private stuff

Then it was as if time had passed by very quickly. He had finished the work just in time for you to come home from your exams

You were exhausted and pent up. Opening your door you see a rose petal path leading to the kitchen

Smiling at the sight, you follow the path and see Zayne prepare a home cooked dinner for you. “ welcome home dear” Zayne looks back at you

You felt like crying, he was so sweet. You dropped your bags, stumbling over to the man

“ i love you. I don’t deserve you” you sniffle into Zayne’s shoulder. “ me too” Zayne murmurs

“ how did you do all this?” You were breathless, lookng around your decorated home

“ I got off work early, so I came over and cleaned up your place. Then I cooked dinner for you” Zayne make it seem like it was nothing

You felt your eyes water. “ Zayne…you…you are the best” you engulf his body again, squeezing him

“ you are just want I needed after a long day Zayne.”

He has nightmares very often. He always tries to lure you to his house to spend the night

The storm raged outside Zayne’s room. He is less startled than you. “ it’s really pouring out there” you look at the falling rain drops

“ a pity really” Zayne wipes the dishes in his hands

“ but you know I really have to get home” you muster the courage. Zayne looks worried, he stops you. “ how will you get home?” He pouts

“ a taxi I suppose” you huff

Zayne can not allow that, who knows what the night brings to unsuspecting victims

“ you can stay” Zayne points out. You shake your head, “ I don’t want to be a bother” you try to decline

“ I have trouble sleeping.” Zayne says out of nowhere. You tilt your head in slight confusion

“ I would like it…if you stayed” Zayne fiddled with his hands out of nervousness. You realise the severity of his words

“ you should’ve started with that. Of course I’ll stay Zayne” you walk over to the cold man, cupping the man’s cheek

“ thank you” Zayne rubbed his cheek against your hand. “ I should be thanking you” you laugh wholeheartedly, sharing a kiss

Very picky with food so you always end up eating his left overs.

“ Zayne?” Your voice crowds his thoughts. Zayne looks up, realising he had sorted out his food into big portions

“ are you going to eat that?” Your fork points at the pile of carrots on his plate.

Zayne looks down and embarrassingly shakes his head. “ you don’t like carrots?” You piece some information together. “ I was never fond of it” Zayne puts it

You smilel. “ a doctor not liking healthy foods? Strange” you comment

“ that’s a stereotype, who taught you that?” Zayne looks a bit annoyed at your mockery . “ I’m kidding of course!” You chuckle at his expression

“ here, give me the leftovers” you offer. Zayne obligates, passing you his own plate

“ …thank you.”

Looks forward to your daily visits to the hospital. If you don’t show up, he will get more aggravated

Zayne lights up upon seeing the door open. He had been checking the time regularly and he predicted you would arrive by now

“ here are the documents Dr Zayne” his assistant rolls around. Zayne can’t hide his disappointment, his smile was now a frown

“ what? Is something wrong?” His assistant judges him.

“ nothing is wrong” Zayne props up his glasses upwards, eyes now fixated on the computer screen ahead of him. His assistant knows something is wrong and realises the reason

“ your girlfriend should be arriving by now-“

“ why? Is she here? Did she come by earlier?” Zayne seems to have high hopes in his tone. His assistant smirks and Zayne feels a tease coming out of her mouth

“ why are you asking that? Do you miss her?” She places a hand on her hip

“ no. “ Zayne tries to immediately defend. “ you can tell me you know! I wouldn’t tease you” his friend tries to frame him

“ leave” Zayne avoids her gaze. The nurse sighs, rolling her eyes, “ fine whatever” she dismisses, walking out the room

Zayne curses silently, typing away at his keyboard. However not too long after, the door unlocks again. “ I told you to stop teasing me” Zayne nonchalantly scolds

“ teasing you?” He recognises a sweet voice

“ [y/n]?” His eyes are filled with sparkles upon seeing you. “ I’m not teasing you” you repeat with a smile, opening your arms for a hug

Zayne immediately gets up and hugs you without exchanging any more words. “ your late” he couldn’t help but lecture

“ sorry, there were a lot of wanderers today” you pat his shoulder.

“ are you hurt?”

“ nope.”

EXTRA NOTE : on one of your visits, you notice Zayne Keeps a photo of you in his office. If his ever stressed, looking at you is enough to bring him relief. However it is always good to have the ‘real deal’ in front of him.