#ranch dressing

[daily-deliciousness]

Buffalo chicken pizza

[affixjoy]

[gloopqueen]

Tomorrow when the farm boys find this freak of nature, they will wrap his body in newspaper and carry him to the museum.

But tonight he is alive and in the north field with his mother. It is a perfect summer evening: the moon rising over the orchard, the wind in the grass. And as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual.

[therobotmonster]

Anybody remember when Velveeta ran all those ads telling people what queso dip was because somehow its existence was unknown to a demographically-significant portion of the populace?

Now we have to "Normalize ranch with chicken and meat?"

"Normalize Ranch?"

Ranch with meat isn't just normal. It's Hypernormal. It's been a standard condiment since the Clinton Administration. It's mayo for people who hate mayo.

RANCH FACTS:

They give you cups of it at wing places, you don't ask for it. You have to tell them to give you something else.

They do the same at pizza places, and also sometimes ranch replaces the red sauce.

Ranch is so American it invades food groups like its looking for oil.

I'm in Oklahoma. We still had dry counties up until the twenty-teens and even we've been dipping our pizza in ranch since videogames came in a plastic cartridge.

It's so basic we've gotten desensitized and we're mainlining Green Goddess and Blue Cheese just feel something.

If you have too much shame to put ranch on something, like meatloaf, that doesn't stop us. We just put the powder directly into the meatloaf.

The average Midwesterner is 17% ranch dressing by volume.

Ranch hasn't become a beverage yet, but it's still trying.

[dduane]

BTW, about this ranch dressing recipe...

...I thought I should report in on this, as I've got a longtime fondness for ranch dressing / dip in general, and the Hidden Valley brand in particular.

Being located in Ireland makes acquiring some US foodstuffs a bit of a challenge. Hidden Valley is hard to find—pretty much only in specialty / import stores—and (when you can find it) expensive.* (This nice place down in Cork, for example, though it has many other things I'm interested in, is charging €15.00 for 226 grams of the dry HVR dip mix. Which immediately raises the question "Do I really want it that much?", and provokes the answer "...Nah." I'd way sooner have three boxes of Cheez-Its.)

Anyway, making ranch dressing from scratch is a subject I've put a fair amount of study into over time, as fake-it-at-home sites have been circling the HVR recipe for many years. Most of them seem to agree on a basic concept that the most important parts of the flavor are onion powder and white pepper, along with dried parsley and various herb mixtures, normally including dill or dill weed.

The recipe above hits all the main notes I've seen elsewhere, though it goes for fresh herbs rather than dried, and these lend a slightly lighter flavor. (The only herb/seasoning missing from this recipe that I've seen mentioned more than once elsewhere is celery salt/seed.) Add buttermilk, a good sour cream (we've got nice Central European ones available now, which is good because to my continued regret Irish sour cream isn't up to much), and any old mayo you've got lying around, and this recipe produces a very nice ranch.

Is it identical to HVR? I'd say not. (Not least because there's way less salt in it, which strikes me as an improvement.) Is it close to HVR? Close enough for me. It's definitely nice on salad. I'll try some as a dip tomorrow. (I'm a little more gingerly about these things since I went lactose-intolerant.)

So there you have it. If you're a ranch fan, you might like to give this one a run.

*Interestingly, the Paul Newman ranch is a lot easier to find here. Go figure.

[cfstuff]

vile substance

[exclamaquest]

Please reblog.

[catfindr]

[culmaer]

** and where do you live : USA/Canada or the Rest of the World ?

[taavisplushies]

Name: Ranch Dressing

Pronouns: he/they

Brand: Homerbest

Where he’s from: a local thrift store

Design notes: he has a cool shirt

[daily-deliciousness]

Honey lemon grilled chicken salad

[vegan-nom-noms]

Vegan Chicken Bacon Ranch Pizza

[merciawintersageposting]

The Baldur’s Gate 3 companions as condiments and sauces:

[dduane]

(making a note for tomorrow)

[thatmemeguy89]

What a monster.