#random person seeing kevin: *falls flat on their face*

[plutoslvr]

thinking about how Kevin Day is canonly hot. like I wish we got more moments of it like I wanted people tripping over their feets seeing him I wanted other exy players to be like "damn Kevin Day is SO fine" during their post-match interview. NEIL LITERALLY SAID HIS SMILE WAS DISORIENTING GUYS (because he found it weird to YOU i know neil personally)

do you guys the foxes would use it as a way to jokingly insult him. Do you think he's oblivious??? like I know he has the fake press persona but what if it genuinely hasn't occurred to this guy that he's attractive cuz he's too focused on exy. CAN U JUST IMAGINE

Any of the foxes to Kevin: listen here pretty boy-

Kevin, genuinely stunned: you think I'm pretty??

[rosyl-stuff]

How The Boyz are protective over their s/o

Sangyeon

Sangyeon is always ready to catch you. He always has a hand lingering around your waist, ready to pull you into him to protect you from incoming traffic and other people who might haven’t seen you. In the subway, he also loves to pull you close to him to make sure you are stable and won’t fall. He does this because he secretly enjoys the subtle skinship with you a lot.

Jacob

Jacob protects you from your own insecurities. He makes sure to always compliment you and make you feel good about yourself. He always notices when you’re in a bad mood and will do anything to get you out of your head and brighten up your mood. His speciality is littering small and soft kisses all over your physical insecurities while holding your hand so that you can’t help but smile at him.

Younghoon

Younghoon makes an effort to carry your bags. You’re his princess/ prince and you shouldn’t carry heavy things. He does this very confidently. He could be drowning in shopping bags but still owns it. He also holds every door open for you. He uses also height to intimidate creeps. In general, he is your personal bodyguard and gentleman.

Hyunjae

Hyunjae is always picking you up. It doesn’t matter what time. It could be in the early evening after work or it could be way past midnight, picking you up from a night out with your friends. He loves to walk you home, enjoying spending time with you. He has an arm around your waist or holds your hand while making sure he is one walking on the side facing the road.

Juyeon

You and Juyeon share a flat together. Usually, when the doorbell rings, you open the door. If Juyeon knows a stranger might have rung the bell, he will follow you and stand in the hallway behind you trying to look as intimidating as possible. Often times it is effective, even though not necessarily needed. The mailman is always extra nice to you while delivering packages.

Kevin

Kevin is a sensitive soul and is aware that your needs are not always the same and might change depending on your mood. So he constantly asks you how you are feeling and what you need. He also is a very good listener, always ready to listen to you vent about your problems and let you know that you don’t have to carry any burden alone, since he will always have your back.

Chanhee

Chanhee always encourages you to take care of yourself. This does involve a lot of nagging, which often results in you two bickering, but he means well. Always buys random vitamins pills and other supplements for you to take. Carries a water bottle with him and if he has the feeling you aren’t hydrated enough, he just wordlessly opens it and hands it to you. Another thing he does is making sure you use sunscreen.

Changmin

Changmin is always prepared to give you his jacket or his hoodie. He thinks you look absolutely adorable in them and can hardly contain his squealing when he sees you wearing his clothes. Your cuteness makes him completely forget that he himself is feeling quite cold and he might risk getting a cold. He is also the type to hold the umbrella for the both of you, making sure you stay completely untouched by the rain and ignoring that he gets drenched. When you scold him for not thinking of himself, he just smiles because you look cute scolding him. He is a simp.

Haknyeon

Haknyeon loves food but he does love you a little more. So he always shares his food with you and absolutely adores feeding it to you. He is making sure the food has the right temperature by gently blowing on it. If you got food somewhere on your face, he would giggle and excitedly but still carefully wipe it from your face. Even, when the two of you are not together, he makes sure you eat by ordering takeout to your address.

Sunwoo

Sunwoo constantly checks up on you via text messages: What are you doing? When are you home? Are you still at your friend’s house? Text me when you got home safely. He doesn’t do that to control you but because he is just genuinely interested in your life. He wants to know everything about you and nothing that you do or tell him could ever bore him. It is especially important to him that you are safe. When you are on your way home alone, he definitely calls you.

Eric

Eric has so much energy he needs to release and he loves play fighting with you. He tries to teach you some random self-defence technique he saw on the internet the other day. But he is always careful not to actually hurt you. As a reward, you get cuddled the whole night. When you ask him why he does that, he will answer that it calms to know you could potentially defend yourself in a dangerous situation.

[thebookreader12345]

750 Followers Celebration - Q&A

Thank you so much for supporting me through this journey! You guys don't know how much this means to me. Every single one of you is amazing.

Below the cut are my answers to the questions that you all submitted.

Q: Do you think Jay is going to become Sergeant this season? A: There has been a lot of debate over this question because of the past few seasons and all of the "Easter eggs", like the sergeant exam poster hanging in the background of the show. In my opinion, I do not believe Jay will become Sergeant. Yet. I think it won't be until the beginning of next season because, if this is a possible storyline, I would expect that the producers and writers would make the finale of season 9 about Voight stepping down/getting promoted, etc.

Q: Did Chicago Justice deserve more episodes? A: I'm sort of split with this question. I loved the fact that there was a big episode involving Kevin, and they always included people from Med, Fire, and PD in some of the episodes. However, the whole plot of the episodes was kind of slow because it wasn't like they were police officers and could go out and chase suspects and arrest people and what not. Their job was just to gather the evidence and then present it in court. I think for many, the show fell flat because there wasn't much action, and part of me does agree with that, but the whole idea of the show itself was kind of cool.

Q: What would make you stop watching each Chicago show? A: This is a tough question because I've only ever dropped one show that I can think of, and it was only because the plotline got really dumb. Maybe if some major characters died in each show I'd stop watching it? But then again, I love the One Chicago universe so much that I don't think even that would stop me from watching. So yeah. I really don't know.

Q: Do you believe in magic? A: As much as I would love for magic to be real, I don't believe it is. But I feel like everyone thinks that way. Cause lets be honest, Harry Potter and Disney make magic look so cool. However, we all know deep down somewhere that it's almost impossible for certain things to be real, and magic just so happens to be one of them.

Q: Are you superstitious? A: I'm not the most superstitious person out there, but I do somewhat follow a few superstitions. Whenever I find a penny on the ground with heads facing up, I pick it up because I believe I'll get good luck. Doing the whole "fingers crossed" thing is something I do a lot. I believe you shouldn't open an umbrella in the house or else you'll receive bad luck. Broken mirrors are bad omens. Those are the top 4 I believe in, but other than that, I'm not really too superstitious.

Q: Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? A: I mean, I would hope so. I appreciate my level of smarts, and whenever my friends acknowledge them or compliment me on them it makes my day. However, with that, people think that I'm always only doing things to boost my intelligence. For example, I love to read. So whenever I say that I didn't do much over the weekend, people always assume that I read a bunch, when I really didn't. Or that I always study for tests or do homework like a week before it's do. That is not the case. But for the most part, I believe my perception of myself is the same as how other people perceive me.

Q: Who is your favorite couple on each One Chicago show? A: Okay, so for Med, there aren't really any couples at the moment besides Maggie and Ben, whom I love but they aren't my favorite, so I'm gonna pick a past couple. When I first started Med, Manstead was my prime ship, so I'll choose them. Will had been pining after Natalie for so long so I was glad when they finally got together. For Fire, it's gotta be Kelly and Stella. They were literally made for each other, and they support each other with everything. Also, they are so cute together and all of Firehouse 51 ships them as well! And for PD, while I do love Burzek, Upstead is my favorite ship at the moment. I've seen the connection between Hailey and Jay since season 5. You don't understand how angry I was in season 7 when Hailey was so close to confessing her feelings. So season 8 made me very happy when Jay and Hailey finally got together.

Q: Jay and Lindsey or Jay and Hailey? A: I respect everyone's opinions on this matter, so hopefully you all respect mine. I thought that Erin was almost toxic in a way for Jay. She continuously broke his heart when all he wanted to do was help him. But what really does it for me is that she left Chicago without telling him goodbye. Hailey, on the other hand, has pushed Jay to seek out help when he needed it, like when she recommended he take seeing a therapist seriously to help with his PTSD, and she is always there for him, no matter what. That's why I believe Hailey and Jay are the better pairing.

Q: Which character death got to you the most? A: There have been too many sad deaths in the One Chicago world. But if I had to pick one, I've gotta go with Otis on Chicago Fire. Otis was always one of my favorite characters, even way back when I watched Fire with my dad when it was first coming out. He was witty and funny, and his friendship with Cruz was everything. So, when I watched the episode where he died, I was full on balling. I had to pause the episode for 10 minutes because I couldn't stop.

Q: Who is your favorite character on each show and why? A: I'm gonna do favorite male and female character because I've got too many favorites from each show. On Med, my favorites are Will and Natalie. Will has been my favorite since day one, and I like that he will go out of his way to help patients, even if it means he could get in serious trouble. Natalie, even though she's not in the show, always pushes for the best of care for her patients, and whenever she dealt with kids it was always the sweetest thing. On Fire, I like Kelly and Sylvie. Kelly is so headstrong and driven, and he will do anything to protect the other members of Squad 3. Sylvie is such a hard worker and you can tell she is passionate about her job. I feel so bad that she's had to go through so many partners. On PD I love Jay and Hailey. Jay has not always been my favorite male character. Back when I watched the show for the first time, I adored Adam. However, I love that Jay has such good morals and is always pushing to do the right thing even when Voight disagreed. Now, it took a few episodes for me to warm up to Hailey, but after seeing her be so badass, it was hard not to like her.

Q: Where do you get inspiration for your stories?/How do you get inspiration when there's not a request? A: This question is always hard to answer because I really don't know. Most of the time I'm fulfilling requests sent in by you guys and I just write what comes to the top of my mind. If there are requests that are not requested and I come up with them on my own, chances are I saw the plot somewhere else, like in a book or show or movie, and I just tweaked it a bit to fit the One Chicago universe. Either that happens, or while I'm trying to fall asleep, I make up random scenarios in my head, and if I find one that I really like, I'll make a note of it on my phone so I don't forget it, and then I'll write about it.

Q: Do you think Brett and Casey are endgame? Why or why not? A: I'm gonna go with yes on this one. Now, Brettsey is not one of my top ships in the universe. However, they are cute together, and I've been expecting them to get together for a while. The two of them, even when Gabby was around, had a great relationship and always cared for each other. Plus, Matt jumped out of a firetruck to go help Sylvie when the ambulance flipped. He was willing to risk an injury just to make sure she was okay. And now that they are officially together in Chicago Fire, you can see that they really love and care for each other.

Q: What inspired you to start writing? A: I always seem to get this question whenever I do a q&a, but that's okay because I don't mind talking about it. I first got into stuff like this as a reader. Basically, I went on to Wattpad and Tumblr to read other people's stories. I had no intention of creating my own. And then, one day, I started imagining myself in some of the fandoms I was apart of, and I thought, "If I'm imagining myself in these fandoms, chances are others are too," and I began creating stories that followed the plots of movies and shows exactly, just adding Y/n in it. However, that got tiring after a while because I wasn't able to have much freedom because I was following a set script, and that's when I remembered I had a Tumblr account I never used. So, I revamped my account just a little bit and started posting story ideas I had that I couldn't post on Wattpad because either they didn't fit with the stories or they were for someone I didn't write for on Wattpad. And now, here we are. For anyone interested, I've posted this before but I'll post it again, my Wattpad handle is @Writer_Reader05.

Q: Jay or Will Halstead? A: I'm sorry, but I really can't choose between the two of them. I love them both so much. Will and Jay are two of my favorite characters in the whole One Chicago universe. While they do have some qualities that I'm not the fondest of, at the end of the day, I adore the both of them, and I could never choose between them.

Q: Who would you rather date: Jay or Will Halstead? A: Why do you guys do this to me? I love them both so much! But, if I have to choose, I'm gonna pick Jay. The only reason is because I like the characters in PD more than Med, so if I'm dating Jay, chances are I'm friends with Hailey and Adam and all of Intelligence. Will is just as awesome as Jay though and I feel like sometimes people sleep on that.

Q: Which of the requested fics you’ve written is your favorite? A: I think I'm gonna have to go with a Jay Halstead x reader I wrote titled Two Becomes Three. Something about the plot just makes me smile. And to think of Jay being a father......So yeah, while I have so many amazing requested fics thanks to you all, that one has to be one of my favorites.

Q: What’s your favorite series you’ve written so far? A: I love all of the series I have written. Something about creating a whole story that's more than just one part is always fun. If I have to pick one series, I'm gonna pick On the Loose. It was the first series I wrote on Tumblr and the plot of it is something I'm really proud of. However, From the Big Apple to the Windy City, Identity Loss, and Difference of Opinion are all amazing! The first two are finished series and the last one still has a few chapters left to go. Go check them out if you haven't already.

Q: What's your favorite imagine you've come up with and why? A: I don't have a lot of fics that are solely my ideas. Most of my stories have plots that were sent in by you all. However, if I had to pick a favorite out of my stories, it'd be Back Home for Christmas, a Halstead Sister fic I released when I was somewhat new to the platform. Something about writing sibling fics always makes me happy because I get to express the familial side to the characters.

Q: If you had to be roommates with 5 of your mutuals/fellow writers, who would you pick and why? A: I love all of my fellow writers/mutuals so much! I know how much work we put into whatever we post, and most of us are very active on this site. As for who I would pick to be my roommates, I'd choose @hereforhalstead @fighterkimburgess @halsteadlover @resanoona @sylviebrettsey because I feel like we'd all have great conversations, mainly over One Chicago. And every Wednesday night we'd all watch the episodes live together and experience them as a group and then freak out over what happened..........Now watch me fantasize about this all day.

Q: Do you listen to music when you write? A: It depends. On some days when I plan that I'm gonna write, then yes, I do put on some music. When there are days that I have a few minutes to spare, I don't put on music just because I'm only writing for a few minutes and I don't want to waste time. But mostly when I'm writing I do play music in the background.

Q: Do you know how your fics/stories end before you finish writing it? A: This is a really interesting question. The answer is no, I do not know how I'm gonna end a fic before I finish writing it. The only story I had a set ending for was my series On the Loose, but that one wasn't even fully planned out until I got a chapter or two in. Obviously, if I get a request that includes a set ending, like two characters get together or something like that, then I know what the ending will be. Otherwise, I have no clue.

Q: Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? A: You know, I can't say that I have. Everyone is different in their own way, and that's what makes us all unique. I would imagine if I did meet someone with a similar personality we'd get along because we'd basically be a carbon copy of each other, but who knows. Maybe our similar personalities would cause us to clash.

Q: Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? A: Not really. I know myself more than anyone else so I know what my limits are and when I've reached them. With people, on the other hand, I always feel like they can be doing more with themselves and their lives. So I do not hold myself to higher standards than others.

Thank you to all of you who sent in questions! I never thought I'd reach 750 followers on this platform. The only reason I have is all thanks to you wonderful people out there!

@winterberryfox @maximeevansblog @scarletsoldierrr @i-like-sparkly-things @dreamingmanip @soph0864 @ryliegh8 @lorenakaspersen @wanniiieeee @nevertoofarfromivar @securityfriendly-jay @pinkbay-love @stephie123

[choruscas]

suptober day 08: electric

please let me know if you’d like to be added to my tag list! (or removed if you prefer) it tags you in all my short stories like these so you never miss them!

also, i’m so sorry that these stories are late! i went on vacation and i totally forgot my writing ipad and had nothing else to use to post these! hopefully these long oneshots will make it up. thank you!

boss!castiel, assistant!dean

Working two years at an insurance company really had a toll on some people. Sometimes it sagged their skin, brittled their bones, or grayed their hair. Sometimes the bosses made your ears bleed and your nose crinkle, wishing it was five o’clock already.

But not Dean. Sure, he was thirty-two and going on strong, but he wasn’t old compared to the rest. There was still a kick in his step, his bones were mighty and strong (thanks to Sammy’s tips on how to stay fit while literally doing nothing) and maybe he had a little bit of a gut going on, but nothing he couldn’t fix.

His boss? Castiel Novak.

Lots of people didn’t like him, as he had lots of enemies. Dean wasn’t sure why, as he didn’t care. Before he accepted his job as assistant, lots of people told him about Castiel. (“Novak’s numbfuckin’ gorgeous, man.” — “Be careful with that one, he’s pretty rough.” — “He’s like... emotionless.” And those were only a few examples.)

He was stone cold, monotonous, soulless.

Even heartless, some said.

But there was a mighty, mighty problem.

Mr. Novak is the most attractive person in the entire world to Dean. Once he saw a picture of his boss, with his piercing blue eyes and five o’clock shadow, Dean was submissive nearly immediately. In his interview, Dean just could. not. stop. staring. Even if his life depended on it, he could not stop looking at the movement of his broad shoulders, the work of his rough hands, the flickering of his eyes like pure fire.

-

Dean sat in the office’s kitchen during lunch break. Normally he would go out and maybe grab a cheeseburger of sorts but today Mr. Novak seemed very different. He seemed sad, to Dean. And since Dean was in love — no... had a huge crush on his boss, it upset Dean himself.

Eating a spoonful of pudding and sucking on the plastic utensil, April Kelly sat down in a chair at Dean’s table, flattening her skirt before she sat. Dean eyed her suspiciously, as she looked a little revolted by something.

Hushed in a whisper, she asked: “So is it really true? Are you and Mr. Novak... a thing?”

Nearly choking on his spoon, Dean jerked his head back and began a coughing fit. A few other employees looked at Dean whose face began to turn red and the tips of his ears tinged shades of pinks.

There was a lot of things Dean had heard in his life that he had the same question for: what the fuck? For example, walking in on his gym teacher and science teacher going at it like rabbits in the teacher’s lounge, or the time poor seven year old Sammy came home with a broken arm and said that a squirrel had snapped it in half. (In reality, he fell of a tree because he tried to jump to a branch with a squirrel, but little children had dramatic memories.)

But this question? Cream of the crop. Takes the cake. Out of all the questions she could’ve asked. “Hey, are you a diabetic owl too?” Or “Have you dated nineteen Katherine’s all with the same spelling who also dumped you?” And sure, those questions would’ve weirded him out, but this one... just mind boggled him.

How in the fuck could Dean even be remotely in Castiel’s league? Hell, he didn’t even think he was gay.

“No— what? Who said that?” Dean gawked, his eyeballs practically falling out of his head.

April rolled her eyes softly. “Bartholomew.”

Dean huffed explosively. Bartholomew Strautman. World’s biggest fucking idiot in the world.

“That bastard? April, you know that’s not true. You’re smarter than that.”

The assistant knew for a fact that she was not, but he didn’t wanna hurt her feelings for rumors she didn’t even start. Dean’s nickname for Bartholomew was B.S., because that’s normally what he was fucking full of whenever he was around him. Dean’s surprised he’s never swallowed a damn sandal for how many times he stuck his foot in his mouth.

Now, Dean didn’t really like April, but that didn’t stop him from attempting to be nice to her. He was only mean to bitches who were mean to him first, otherwise, it was just insensitive.

“I just hope it’s not true.” she sighed sadly.

Dean quirked his head. “Why?”

“I really like Mr. Novak...” Her voice then became a whisper. “And... I think he likes me too.”

Dean blinked multiple times. “Uh— Yeah. Maybe.”

Her head peaked up to meet Dean eye to eye. “Really?” she exclaimed.

Now, Dean wasn’t really expecting that.How the fuck is he supposed to tell her, “Hey, you’re kinda dumbass and I don’t like you... and Castiel is mine, so fuck off.”

So instead he just told her that she might have a chance. It saved him from having to deal with a full-grown temper tantrum (which she’s had before because her printer paper wouldn’t fit in the copier. Dean had fixed it by simply rotating the paper.) in the middle of work, which he would much rather not have.

It was an hour before Dean left work. He normally got there at eight o’clock in the morning, because Castiel needed his coffee before nine. Granted, Castiel had never asked Dean deliberately to make his coffee, but Dean’s attempt to swoon him with bribery kindness were his day-to-day tasks. So at the moment,

The elevator dinged and Dean turned around in his desk, just having finished beating Kevin Tran in Crazy 8. Every day they’d play something different. Monday was Crazy 8, and sometimes they’d manage to round a few other people too. Today, they had managed to grab Bobby Singer, Anna Milton, and Meg Masters to play a few rounds. Tuesday’s, Wednesday’s, Thursday’s and Friday’s, it would just be Kevin and Dean playing.

Dean turned around to see his boss, and he just so managed to exit out of the tab and onto some random website that totally looked like work.

Fuck, was he hot.

His black overcoat was off and his white dress shirt was rolled up, the cuffs on his sleeves were unbuttoned, and he looked like a little bit of a mess. However, it was extremely attractive and Dean found himself biting his lip to stop himself from drooling over him.

The whole office sort of stifled quiet as Castiel’s cold eyes peered around the room. Dean, however, was the closest to him and he could just smell the cinnamon and black coffee radiating off of him.

“Dean.” Castiel said softly, looking down at Dean who had just grabbed a pen to twirl around his fingers.

“Yes sir?” Dean snapped up, straightening his posture and tugging at his sleeves.

“I need you in my office.”

Whispers quirked across the office floor, probably rumors about their relationship. It has never happened and Dean had told himself over and over again that it wouldn’t happen.

However, the thing that happened next was terrifying.

Once they had reached his office, which was a story up from his desk, Castiel had taken the lead and Dean found himself shaking with eagerness (and nervousness) of what’s next to come. Castiel had held the door open for him and once Dean reached inside, Castiel shut the door and locked it.

It was normal for Dean, but in this circumstance, he overthought everything. So the door locking was terrifying to him.

Castiel laid his hands flat on his desk and eyed Dean with precaution.

It made Dean tremble in his bones.

“You have heard the rumors, have you not?” he asked, tilting his head and squinting his eyes. It was such an innocent gesture that was so un-Castiel that Dean found himself nearly falling on his knees to worship him.

“Yeah-“ he stopped himself. “Yes sir.”

Castiel’s hands left the desk and he began slowly walking toward Dean, eyeing him as if he was prey and Castiel was the predator. Dean was then trembling in his shoes, feeling as if he could throw up from how nervous they were.

Now, Castiel’s next question was yet another question that Dean was not expecting.

“Are you romantically attracted to me?”

Not wanting to lie, Dean succumbed to Castiel’s look of prestigious nature. “Yes... yes sir- I...”

Castiel shushed him. “I’ll be after work. Make sure everybody is gone and turn off all the lights before you come back here. 5:30, Dean.”

Fuck.

-

Dean eyed the clock with such suspicion that he wanted to smash it in the floor and turn the minute handle to 5:30 already. At five o’clock, people should be starting to pack up and leave.

And as five o’clock pulled around, they did just that. Dean said his goodbyes, trying not to look suspicious. Because normally when the clock struck five, Dean was up and out faster than you could say cherry pie. He liked his job (the sexy boss sure helped) but relaxing was better to him in his opinion.

At about 5:15, people were still taking their sweet precious time.

5:20. Dean still had to go all the way to the basement to turn off the lights.

5:25. Anna Milton.

“Hey Dean, good job on Crazy 8 earlier! You’re pretty good.”

Dean resisted the urge to roll his eyes and slap her in the face. He knew exactly what she was doing, like she did everyday. Flirting.

“Listen, Anna— Mr. Novak-“

“Castiel is a cheapskate, he can wait.”

Dean’s nostrils practically flared from the informality and disrespect she had for him. Since Dean was in love had a huge crush on his boss, any disrespect towards him made him blood boil.

“Anna...”

“If the rumors are true...”

“They’re not.”

“Alright, whatever.” she flung her hands up in defeat, sighing like it was her last breath. “If you wanna play another game sometime, my house is always open to move some furniture around.”

Dean shivered. Anna was cute and all, but she was toxic and manipulative as fuck. He only had eyes for one man and one man only.

Shit! It was 5:29.

Once the door and shut and he knew Anna was out of the office like Castiel had said, Dean ran to the basement, his messenger bag almost falling down the stairs many, many times.

He really needed to work out instead of using Sammy’s stupid techniques of having good posture and drinking water (also while watching TV, a detail Dean “forgot” to tell Sam) to burn calories.

He finally reached his office, after having to run four flights of stairs, he finally made it. At 5:35. Fuck.

Knocking on the door made Dean realize how hard he was shaky. In all honesty, this was probably the scariest thing he’s ever had to do.

What if he gets fired? What if he breaks his heart? Fuck. Anything could happen.

“Come in.”

And so Dean did, and the sight he saw was a sight for sore eyes. His tie was untied and hanging around his neck, his belt was off, and his dress shirt was untucked.

The sex they had was indeed not heartless. It was soft, and full of something Dean never though Castiel was capable of giving him: love. He treasured him as if he was the richest gold or rarest diamond, kissing his every freckle and blemish like he was made of glass.

(tags below)

@potato-painter

[pinnithin-writes]

I Realized. Then I Couldn’t Stop Realizing.

Chapter 3: C-53

Depending on where he looked, it had begun that night.

Dar’s party plan ended up being a success, save for a few minor snags and broken bottles. AJ had a delightful time being tossed back and forth between Dar and Horsehat until the latter got drowsy and had to be put to bed. C-53 caught Pleck’s amused grin from across the room as he watched the action, elastic and amiable, and it struck him how long it had been since he’d seen the tellurian smile.

Now, they were stretched out on a hill in the countryside of a grassy nearby planet. AJ and Horsehat were snoozing peacefully a short ways off, while the rest of the crew settled into a comfortable buzz. It felt good to be able to stretch out his limbs in the cool evening; so much of his time on the ship was spent cramped into a corner so as to not take up too much space. Dar was sprawled beside him, and Pleck lay with his arms tucked behind his head between the two.

The suns in the distance were setting, purple and hazy. C-53 luxuriated in the strange calm electricity pumping through his system, relaxing in this rare pocket of quiet they had found in the turbulent galaxy.

“So, what’s the verdict?” Dar asked finally, their voice syrupy with alcohol. “How’s morale? Good? Better?”

“Definitely better than it was, Dar, thank you for organizing all this,” C-53 responded. Putting sentences in order was fun in this state - the dust accelerated his processors in a way that pulled random threads of his consciousness to the surface and pieced them together in interesting ways.

“Yeah, Dar, I think everyone had a good time tonight,” Pleck yawned. “Thank you for forcing me to go against my will.” There was a laugh in his voice, and it was pleasant to C-53’s audio sensors.

“Anytime, you big mopey baby,” Dar purred. “Barge? You having a good time?”

“Doing way better now that my vents are full of dust,” Bargie hummed from where she was parked on the hillside. “This was long overdue. We should do this every week - no! Every day.”

“Well, that would get incredibly expensive after a while,” C-53 reasoned.

“Yeah, I just wish Nermut coulda been here, yknow?” Pleck piped up again. “I mean, I guess he has his hands full with the campaign, but it would have been nice to see him.”

“Nermut’s got his own parties to go to,” Dar muttered, honeyed tone falling flat.

“Oh no,” Pleck said, rolling onto his side so he could look at them with his good eye. “Is it like the Rebellion all over again? Is he going through Seesu boot camp?”

The captain sighed heavy in the back of their throat. “No, it’s just weird with him right now. I don’t really feel like talking about it.”

“Oh, is he like, being all impressionable-”

“I said,” Dar growled, talons quivering, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Pleck had thankfully learned the signals to retreat by now, and he fell silent. Bargie, on the other hand, was humming loudly, engines whirring just for the fun of it.

“Hey Dar, if you wanna talk about it with me, I’ve got a ton of dust in my vents that would make it waaaaay easier to deal with,” the ship said.

“I’m not sure if that’s how that works,” C-53 began, but Dar was already clambering to their feet.

“That sounds great, Barge,” they said. “Boys? Can you watch our fully grown children while Bargie and I have a chat?”

“Oh, uh, you got it,” Pleck said, raising a hand in salutation while C-53 nodded.

After the captain disappeared onto the ship, Pleck settled back in the grass, looking forlorn. “Guess I jucked that one up, huh?” he murmured, the lavender sky reflecting off his eye as he gazed into the distance.

C-53 watched him carefully. “You know how they get sometimes,” he stated.

“I know, but Dar wanted to relax and I went ahead and made them all agitated again.” He plucked a piece of grass from beside him and fiddled with it, keeping his eye on the clouds. “Should just keep my stupid mouth shut.”

His processors hummed, tacking together Pleck’s words with data stored in C-53’s memory bank. “There are many times since we’ve met that I would agree with that statement, Pleck,” he said, recalling a particular incident years ago that nearly resulted in the tellurian getting ritually sacrificed. “But lately I would say you’ve been too quiet, if I can be frank.”

Pleck idly tied his grass stem in a knot. “Got a lot to think about,” he replied vaguely. He tossed the grass in C-53’s direction and watched it flutter to the ground between them.

“Such as?”

Pleck floundered, freckled face animated as he searched for an answer. “Well, y’know, the usual,” he finally said, “The Allwheat bearing down on us, the fate of the galaxy’s leadership hanging in the balance, hundreds of sentients out there dying for no reason, Seesu Gundu’s failing campaign…” he trailed off and shrugged, hazel eye refusing to look at him. “Y’know.”

“Is the Allwheat still contacting you?” C-53 asked, gently.

Pleck flinched at his words all the same. He scratched the side of his jaw. He needed a shave. “Yes,” he said quietly.

“How often?”

The tellurian was tearing out grass by the fistful, now, slowly and methodically. His eyelashes fluttered low over his cheekbones as he continued to avoid C-53’s scanners. “Almost every day. Multiple times a day, sometimes.” His voice was soft and cautious, as if he would set C-53 off if he said something wrong.

We instilled that nervousness in him, C-53 realized suddenly. It had been easy to belittle Pleck when he was his usual unflappable self, but now it was pitiful to see the results on his self-esteem. C-53’s processors buzzed, drawing conclusions for him.

It hurt. It hurt to see his friend like this. And it was partially his fault he had gotten that way.

For once in his life, C-53 was at a loss for words. AJ and Horsehat continued to sleep peacefully a few yards away while Pleck, white-knuckled, tore clods of grass out of the earth beside him, refusing to meet his best friend’s eyes. The dust filtering through his system wasn’t making it any easier for him to compute this, and he almost wished he had remained sober for this conversation.

Maybe that way he wouldn’t feel so helpless. Somehow, saying ‘I’m here for you’ felt horribly inadequate.

“It’s not just the fact that it talks to me,” Pleck continued after an agonizing stretch of silence. “It’s the things it says. It… knows me, somehow. Says things about me that are true and real and it gets inside my head.” His shoulders were curled with tension, his head bent low, blue hair skewing out of its ponytail.

“Things that are true?” C-53 asked. “You mean, facts about our missions, or-”

“Like stuff about who I am. As a person.” He tossed the grass away from him in disgust and folded his arms protectively around his own torso. He tucked his knees up to his chest and hunched over, continuing in a small voice. “I know this is all my fault already, okay? I don’t need Beano’s weird hybrid Rodd-ghost telling me about it constantly.”

Pleck didn’t cry, but he did look like a frightened animal, huddled in the grass like that. While C-53 gazed down at him, his fan kicked on, startling both of them. He didn’t think he’d taken that much dust, but his processors were definitely firing off under an unusual amount of strain.

“Sorry,” Pleck muttered. “That was probably too much, huh?” He carefully uncurled himself, stood, and brushed the grass off of his robe. “I’m gonna…” he faltered, remembering that Bargie was full of dust and an angry Dar and the rest of their team was sound asleep. He cast his eye around the grassy hillside and the farmland below, the sky purpling around him. He looked so lost.

“Pleck, if I may,” C-53 ventured. His frame was vibrating uncomfortably from the heavy industrial fan, and he hoped it would kick off soon. “You don’t have to tell me about this if it upsets you. We can talk about other things. Or we don’t have to talk at all.”

The tellurian stared at where C-53 lay in the grass, the expression on his face complicated and messy. He always wore his emotions on his face. It was a marvel none of them saw his breakdown coming sooner.

After a beat, Pleck reached up and undid the rubber band keeping his hair back, shaking out the ponytail and letting his locks fall around his shoulders. “Sure. Sorry. I’ll…” He wrapped the rubber band distractedly around his wrist. “I’ll stay. I can stay here.”

And stay he did. They settled into companionable silence, absorbed in their own thoughts as the stars blinked into view around them. C-53's fan eventually stalled to a halt. At one point, he thought he saw Pleck’s lips moving in a silent, prayer-like repetition, but his scanners couldn’t quite track what he was saying.

His dust-addled cube was drawing up memories and notions he had long since compartmentalized, scattering his internal filing system with careless abandon. Pleck had come a long way since they’d all first set foot on the Bargarian Jade. He wasn’t clueless anymore, though he did blurt the occasional tactless observation every once in a while. He’d escaped federal tyranny, survived a bitter revolution, and resolved to lead the next one of his own accord with nothing but a stupid stick and his own naive willpower.

C-53 remembered the first time their consciousnesses had been tied, when they were at Suetopia and experiencing each other’s emotions as they happened. Pleck had felt so unsure, so curious, and so happy to be around friends. Friends. Had C-53 considered him a friend, then? He wasn’t sure when that had happened, but he did know the next time the two of them had been neurally connected, inside Kevin the blob, the experience was entirely different. C-53 had felt awash with every kind of emotion, a pleasant, peachy feeling he attributed to being one with hundreds of other sentients.

But… no, that wasn’t right. The dust zinged up and down his coding, plucking at his memories like a harp.  He remembered dawning understanding as he laid scanners on his crew, feeling their emotions submerging him, passing between them and identifying them one by one. He remembered locking eyes with Pleck last, cringing away from a fear and nakedness that softened in the orange glow around them. He remembered being flooded with longing, a latent ache in his wiring that he felt as his own, though it didn’t originate from his cube. He remembered. He remembered.

He... remembered.

“Oh my Rodd,” he blurted, realizing a nanosecond too late he’d exclaimed it out loud.

“What?” Pleck startled, looking around. “What is it?”

“I uh,” C-35’s cube was in overdrive as he scrambled. That look he’d given him in the blob, that ache deep in his fibers, that quiet hesitation every time they were close. Pleck had feelings for him. Strong feelings. Why had he buried that? Why had it resurfaced?

“...I saw a shooting star,” he lied.

Gullible, trusting Pleck believed him instantly.  “Aw, I missed it,” he said.

“It was on your blind side,” C-53 replied, hating himself for continuing the ruse. “I’ll point it out if I see another one. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. They’re fast little guys. Used to get them back on Rangus Six all the time.” Pleck stared fondly up at the velvet night, reminiscing.

C-53 wanted to slip into low power mode so that he could better examine this sudden realization. His tellurian coworker, his best friend, the man lying drunkenly in the grass beside him, had yearned for him for… months, possibly. At least a season. How had that happened? How had he not realized sooner? Was he still yearning, after all this time?

Pleck stretched his arms luxuriously over his head. “Hey, C-53?” he asked, his voice going soft with drowsiness.

He angled his chin ever so slightly. “Yes?”

“I’m glad you’re here with me.”

C-53 hoped Pleck couldn’t hear the strange, small juddering noise coming from his internal processor. His vocal modulator was slow to start up, but it spoke the truth.

“I am, too.”

Chapter 2 <-----> Chapter 4

[sleepyfan-blog]

Day Three of Dreamswap weekish - Depart

Fandom: Dreamswap by @onebizarrekai

Characters: DS Dream, DS Nightmare, Kevin the chicken 

Word count: 610

Warnings: cursing, betrayal

Taglist: @anxiety-is-married-to-depression @angelofthehalfmoon @trainwreck-of-skeletons @hisame-amadashi​ @therandomskelekey

Nightmare froze in horror as he watched Dream consume apple after apple. Somehow the other had managed to change all of the dark apples into positive ones "Dream.. W-Why are you doing this?! Stop! We... We were created to protect the apples, not use them!"

"you don't understand. There is much darkness and injustice in this world... In every world. I need this power in order to make things right." Dream responded, grabbing another apple and consuming it "And you... You are a source of negativity. You must be dealt with if everyone is to find peace and happiness..."

That stung, making this utter betrayal of everything they were supposed to be hurt way more "You... You want... You want to kill me, don't you? You're just like the villagers! I should have known that you'd turn against me! Why the fuck should anyone ever fucking like me! I hope you *choke* on that power!" He lunges for Dream, trying to tackle the other, but the positive power that radiated off the other in waves that he could just begin to see knocked him flat on his ass. He choked a little and sputtered, cursing "You... Fucker!"

"I do not wish to kill you. It is for the good of all that you will be struck down - but not until after I find a way to break the fate-bond between the two of us... surely you've noticed how they react to you when you're there!"

"It's not my fault that the villagers are shitty assholes who attack me simply because I'm not you! That my magic doesn't make them happy by just existing! I'm not going to simply stand around and let you murder me when it won't kill you too!" Nightmare refused to cry, forcing himself onto his knees, then up to his feet, turning his back on Dream as the other continued to eat apple after apple, stealing one so that he might have a chance, shoving inside of his mouth as he grabbed Kevin - last thing he needed was for Dream to somehow kill the kitchen to steal the negative apple from the chicken's soul. He panicked a little as he felt the power inside of himself build, and the desperate desire to flee as far as he could, manifested into what he thought was a purely theoretical concept - a trans-universal portal. 

Nightmare falls through the damn thing, tripping over his own feet and closing it before Dream could follow. He manages to get up and continues running through the densely wooded, snow covered forest. He should probably make another one of those portal things, but he has no idea if he can... The energy that it took to create one portal was enormous. He eventually sits down at the base of a random tree, hugging Kevin close to his chest as he breaks down, sobbing and howling at the betrayal of the one person who he thought would never do so. Of course the one person who he thought might actually like him hated him.

He was the bad guy, the evil specter, the villain to Dream's hero. Or so the villagers had believed. Nightmare shivered in the biting cold, holding Kevin closer, mumbling to the animal "You'd never betray me, would you, Kevin?"

Kevin clucked and tapped his face with his beak.

That wrung a laugh from the unhappy guardian "Yeah, yeah. I know. Thanks, Kev..." Nightmare's eye lights fuzzed out, as the shock of the day, coupled with the large amount of magic that he'd used hit him all at once, causing the negative spirit to fall asleep immediately, a chicken guardian him fiercely.

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 3 Part 12

Here’s the next part ! One part left after this one for Chapter 3 !

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey Monday March 4, in France

"Dude, it's fucking okay. You're out of the water for god sake. Calm down"

They were almost at the hotel. Fuck this cruise. Fuck this trip. Fuck these guys. How the hell the fatty roommate managed to fall in the Seine exactly ? Well, to fall. This moron probably didn't go there all by himself. He looked dumb, but not that dumb. Anyway, the real question was : why he, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey, decided to bring him back to the hotel once they had pull him out of the water ? Why he, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey, the god among the hunters, was nice to the baboon's friends ? I hate my life. But I'm also so eager to see my fuckin' boyfriend. Damnit.

"I'm sorry." muttered the fatty roommate (what was is name again ?). "I ruined the day."

"Don't open this stupid mouth of yours to talk nonsense." replied the Dean's grandson. "You fell into the water, you had the fucking right to lose your shit. And these filthy assholes who laughed can go eat dicks in their mother's pussy."

The freshman looked at him with amazement.

"You sure are swearing a lot when Liam isn't around." he noted.

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey did not answer. It wasn't worth it. To be clear, yes he had spent a good weekend with his baboon's friends. Yes, they were good people. But who cared ? Yeah, this damned Nate had some sense of humor after all. Yes, Colton was a pure good heart built like a gigolo. And yeah, Nick (now he remembered his name) was a freakin' genius. But seriously, the best hunter wasn't here to make friend. Definitely not. They arrived at the hotel at that moment.

"Thank you." says the dark-haired lad. "I'll take a shower and I'll work with Liam on our group project. What are you going to do during this time ?"

"Don't know. Don't care."

He hadn't planned anything. He just went in France for the baboon, and he did not know what to do without him. I can't even believe I thought this. Am I really dependent on him now ? Quite pissed by is own stupidity, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey just left.

For a while, he just wandered in the streets, at least to calm down. I need to bang someone. He was tore apart between two opposed feelings. A rational part of him only needed sex. Another, stupid and weak, desesperatly wanted Liam. I'm like a fuckin' teenager. I hate it. Finally, he went in a nightclub with the hope to pick up a chick or two. French people knew how to make a good party. It was loud and noisy, but also very sexual. They had their own way to dance, more sensual, more appealing. At first, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey had great fun. And he found a guy more than eager to please him. They ended up in his apartment for sex. Trust me, you won't wake up after that. They banged in every corner of the flat. The Dean's grandson was so demading. Only he pictured Liam with him, and not this random dude. For god sake. The more he was thinking about the baboon, the hornier he was. He could feel his sweet and wide hands cuddling his body. He could imagine the contact of his strong chest. He wanted to stroke his soft belly. To squeeze his ass.

"Je suis rentré." shouted someone.

It stopped this stupid asshole who obviously wasn't Liam to continue. C'mon. You would not let me so horny, would you ? The idiot who interrupted them arrived in the living room. When he noticed them, he opened his mouth wide, like a big and really dumb carp. I saw him somewhere.

"You... You were with Liam last night." he said.

Now I recall. It was this bloody hell ex-boyfriend. Kevin, Kilian or whatever. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey understood he wasn't gonna get laid anymore tonight. He put his pants back, annoyed.

"Wait, before you leave... Can you tell me how is Liam ?" asked this blonde guy. "I mean, we didn't have the time to discuss yesterday."

The Dean's grandson scrutinized him. He was very tall, at least 1m90 (6'3"), and rather imposing. Well, I fucked almost the whole football team of my university, and some of them were bigger.

"Look, whatever you want from Liam, just forget it. He doesn't need any extra problem right now."

His bestfriend's situation plus his family, it was enough.

"It was just a question." mumbled the other.

"A stupid question."

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey didn't wait for an answer. He left this brat and went back to the hotel.

When he arrived, the baboon had already fallen asleep. Same for the fatty roommate. But Nate was waiting in the corridor, looking a bit weird. What more ? I'm done being the fuckin' shrink of everyone for today. But when he came closer, he realised the dwarf wasn't just a bit weird, he was literally crying.

"Bud'. What's wrong ?" he asked with a more gentle tone than he intended to.

"I... Sorry..."

Nate took a moment to calm down. He sniffed loudly.

"You weren't supposed to see me like this." he mumbled.

"Dude. I saw the worst part of you, this is nothing."

Honestly, Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey did not care at all about this short guy. Am I, really ? He was just fooling himself, right ? I hate all these feelings which cross my mind. He never felt the need to help anyone, well maybe except Archie and Zack, and now here he was.

"It's harder than I thought." confessed Nate. "To be normal again I mean. I truly need a talk with Archie right now."

The junior sat down next to his friend (let's call him that way and fuck it) in silent.

"Thank you for having introduced him to me by the way. Archie helps a lot."

"Well he's experienced some rough stuff too." replied Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey. "And you shouldn't try to act normal after what happened. Whatever happened. You seems smart enough to know this wasn't a random accident."

A blank followed. Of course, Nate did not want to remember this dreadful night. Me neither.

"Look midget, I need to ask." grumbled the Dean's grandson. "I already know what we're talking about, but I wonder... Am I fuckin' protecting a criminal who did a truly stupid and horrible mistake ?"

Better that than a sociopath with very good acting skills... Nate remained quiet for a while. His eyes showed all his suffering.

"No." he finally responded miserably. "You're helping a weak, pathetic and unworthy person. An idiot as you say, who can't even protect himself. Who can't even take care of himself."

He started to cry again. Fuck this wicked world. Fuck these assholes who thinks they can do whatever they want without the consent of the others. I hate them so much. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey hugged the midget. It reawakened bad memories of a miserable Archie.

"You're not unworthy." he whispered. "And I will find all the help you need."

He dialed Archie's number. Thankfully, it was dawn back home and the quaterback replied. The blond lad gave him to Nate, and only when he was sure the boy was okay, he left silently. I'll have to talk with D.R about this one day or another...

Liam Tuesday March 5, in France

In other circumstances, the young lad would have enjoyed this visit of the economics departement. After all, he had a wonderful breakfast before, and he was feeling nice. But he sensed the force of evil everywhere. This morning, Nate wasn't feeling great, and he had stayed at the hotel with Dami. In the meantime, Liam and his group were supposed to work on their project. But it's like the Cold War. Nick was sulking. He still resented Rebecca, but he also seemed to dislike Barbara. The two girls were mean and they often mocked the poor major of their promotion. As for Colton, he tried his best to apease the tension, without any success yet. So Liam did what he did the best. He let his mind ramble. He imagined himself in a paradise. There were living pancakes everywhere. They begged him to eat them. (Liam is a nice guy, you all know that. So he kindly agreed to ate them.) (Ate them ALL). Nick brought him back into reality with a nudge.

"Now, you'll split into your groups." was saying their professor. "Students from the Economic College of Paris will guide you."

Liam followed his roommate towards a group of students, but he froze when he saw them. Tell me it's not happening. Why ? Am I cursed ? Kilian was right here, looking straight at him.

"My god. Kilian is that you ?" asked Barbara. "You have grown so much. My lord, you're so impressive !"

Their old classmate thanked her.

"It's nice to see you again Barb'." he said. "Liam."

Send help. Send help. Send help. (Liam knew his internal screams weren't helping at all.) (But maybe Dami would hear him ? His boyfriend could read minds, right ?).

"Okay, this is weird." intervened Nick. "Can we start the tour ?"

Kilian smiled.

"Of course. Follow me."

It was a true nightmare. An impossible situation. Liam was running right into his death. (Maybe not, but he always loved a bit of drama). What should I say ? What can I say ? He knew Kilian had left the United States after the... incident to go back to France. But what were the odds they would meet again here, in Paris ? I'm convinced this is an international scheme to destroy me and the unicorns.

"Dude, you're so tensed." murmured Nick. "What's the deal with your ex anyway ?"

Liam did not answer. He was truly panicing. Without Nate or Dami to support him, he was completely lost. And what if his new boyfriend discovered the story ? He'll hate me. He'll realise how unwrothy I am.

"I need to go. Far far far away. Right now."

He didn't wait for an answer. He wanted to avoid a panic attack.

Because he wasn't thinking clearly, Liam finally got lost in the building. A bit relieved to be alone, he sat on a bench and got his breath back. What am I supposed to do ? His mother never prepared him for a moment like that ! (He wasn't blaming her, but she could have anticipated right ?) (Educate your children to face their exes ! It's crucial !).

"Why did you run away ?" asked suddenly a voice he recognized (much for his displeasure).

Kilian looked curiously at him. (How he managed to find him ? Did a witch lead him here ?) His ex-boyfriend smiled softly.

"You know, I'm very surprised to see you here, but it's nice."

"What do you mean, it's nice ?" asked Liam, surprised.

"Well, we never spoke since... the middle of 12th grade. Since what happened. I never had the chance to thank you."

"To thank me."

Right, Kilian had lose his mind. The french food must have turned him crazy.

"I almost killed you with my stupid plan." recalled Liam. "I... I have been selfish, reckless and stupid. How come you want to thank me ?"

"You kiddin' right ? My parents blame you, but I don't. It wasn't your idea, but ours. And it was the first and only time someone wanted to take so much risk for me. I owe you Liam, for real."

It was too much for the chestnut lad. He wasn't able to come to terms with all that stuff.

"I thought..." he mumbled. "I thought you resented me. It's what your parents said."

"They lied to you obvious... Wait... you blamed yourself for what happened ? Oh man I didn't know you were putting so much on yourself. I'm sorry Liam, it must have been hard for you."

Hard for me ? He had been through hell with this story. The freshman couldn't think clearly. Everything he thought about Kilian was... false ?

"The others are here." whispered his ex-boyfriend. "Look, once this tour is over, I think it would be nice to talk. I can't tonight but maybe tomorrow night ?"

Liam only nodded, completely lost. Does that mean... I blamed myself for months for nothing ?

Barbara Tuesday March 5, in France

It was better than everything she had planned so far. Way better. She never expected Kilian to be here, in Paris. But this is a godsend. I will make the most of it. Catch Liam would be hard for her, but for his ex ? All she needed to do was to bring back them together for one night. One night and she would dethrone Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey. Afterwards, it would be chaos, and she would appear as a savior for the university. This is perfect.

"Your smile is so creepy. I kind of like it."

Barbara turned towards Matthew. He was almost living in their bedroom with the two girls. I'm glad they didn't have sex while I was here.

"I just came up with a good plan for my next move." she explained. "Soon enough, you'll be proud to be close with the queen."

He snorted.

"You mean, all of this was to be the queen of the university ? Oh man, that's funny."

"Why ?"

"It's nothing." he mysteriously replied. "Good luck girl."

She left one hour later. The short girl had done some research before. Apparently, Kilian  had moved in France approximately one year ago, in the middle of 12th grade. Well, after this sad incident with Liam. He was living with his uncle, and was studying this year as a freshman at the local university. He had multiple friends, but no boyfriend in sight. Which meant he was avaible. Barbara also managed to find his adress, so she came right at his home. When he openned the door, she felt again surprised by his height. He is so tall now.

"Barbara ? What brings you here ?" he asked.

"Hey Kilian. I wanted to talk, in memory of old times."

And at first, they did. They lengthly shared memories. He was nicer, more talkative than she remembered. Well, his parents were beating the crap out of him, and the whole highschool bullied him. No wonder he feels better now. Eventually, she led the subject towards her main concern.

"It's nice to see you." she laughed. "I mean, I was already surprised when I met Liam at my university."

She glimpsed a shining light in Kilian's eyes. He wanted to talk about him. Nice. Maybe the story she heard from Jessy wasn't completly right.

"Yeah, it was quite a surprise for me too..."

A little blank followed. She sensed he wanted to add something. He was so predictable.

"I never wanted things to end like this." he whispered. "I would love to... come back in time. I missed him, you know ?"

"He missed you too." she revealed. "He told me."

A little lie can't hurt. Kilian didn't know she wasn't her friend anymore. He would trust her.

"Really ? It doesn't seem like that..." he mumbled. "I mean, he looks so paniced everytime I'm around. We barely had a normal conversation. He was so stressed."

You sure have confidence now. He was way more assertive than before, and it was kind of attractive. Liam can fall for that.

"Well, it's... Look, I'm not supposed to say this but... Liam fell into the wrongs hands. There's a guy who uses him for sex."

Kilian frowned. Please, believe it. It was the hardest part of the plan. She needed him to trust this.

"Is this by the aggressive guy ? The one with scary eyes ?"

"Yes. How do you know ?" she wondered, surprised.

"He was here last night." explained Kilian with a bit of rancor. "He was having sex with my cousin all over the place."

Oh man. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey was playing against himself. That was so ironic.

"I think... the best way to help Liam would be to reveal what you're feeling." she stated. "You want him right ? As your boyfriend ? I'm sure you two will work together. Just tell him."

Kilian barely hesitated.

"Okay. I'll give it a try. I don't like him being exploited by this bad guy anyway."

And now, this is the fall of the king.

To be continued

Well things are escalating. Kilian’s in the place and it changes everything. What will happen to Liam and Dami now uh ? Will they escape the dangerous plan of Barbara ? We’ll see that soon :)

[jsteneil]

white sleeves

3k

read on ao3

It was Nicky who forced them all in the car on an apparently random Saturday, with empty threats, a good deal of supplication, and endless streaks of “Neil. Neil. Neil. Neil.” which got on everyone nerves, even his own.

Neil managed to outlast Nicky the fifth time he did it by turning on the shower, choosing to wash his hair for the second time in as many days just so the water would flow over his ears.

“What the fuck are you doing?” was the first thing he heard when he stepped out of the stall, almost relaxed. The voices were right outside the bathroom door but Neil pretended he was alone in the world as he dried and dressed as slowly as possible.

“Neil—I’m ensuring you have a good Christmas, Aaron Joseph Minyard, and if you had one sentimental bone in your body you’d be right there with me—Neil—”

“I’m going to Katelyn’s for Christmas,” Aaron answered. “That’s really not your doing.”

“Aw, you are sentimental!”

“Fuck off.”

Neil bit on his tongue and tugged on his armbands under his shirt just as Nicky called, “Wait, help me convince him, please!”

“Alright,” he said, opening the door right in Nicky’s face. “What do you want?”

“I’ve literally talked about nothing else in the past two days,” Nicky said. “there’s a Christmas market in town.”

“You’re going back to Germany in two days.”

“So?”

“So, the Christmas markets are way better over there than in the middle of South Carolina, everyone knows that,” Aaron said from the nearby kitchen, voicing Neil’s thoughts.

“Oh, come on,” Nicky said. “If I don’t force you to do your Christmas shopping now no one of you will have presents for the Secret Santa when we get back. Don’t roll your eyes, you know I’m right.” Nicky gestured to the living room, where they could hear the sounds of an old exy rerun. “Even Kevin drew a name, and he’ll spend his break with Abby and Coach, when will he have time to shop?”

“You do know that Amazon exists, don’t you,” Aaron said.

For once, Neil was glad for Aaron and his dislike of any activities that forced him to spend too much time sober and out of the court with the rest of the Foxes. He didn’t even have to prepare counter-arguments for Nicky’s ridiculous propositions.

“Oh, come on,” Nicky said, with a frustrated gesture. “I want to go, I think it could be fun, and I don’t wanna spend the first day of my vacation holed up in the house. Why can’t we decide to consider it instead of fighting my ideas all the time?”

Aaron didn’t say anything. Kevin’s head disappeared back into the living room. Neil looked at Nicky and weighted pros and cons, then threw logic out of the window.

“I’ve never been to a Christmas market when I was in Germany,” he said.

Nicky beamed.

Once Neil was on board, the others were too: Aaron because he didn’t want to stay alone with Andrew, and Kevin because he claimed he had nothing else to do. Neil glanced at the TV when he passed into the den: it was an old rerun of UPenn being slaughtered by the Ravens. He wondered how Kevin had held twenty-three minutes before bursting, then he grudgingly upped Dobson one step on his mental esteem scale. Kevin had still been struggling with Riko’s death and the fall of the Ravens at the beginning of the semester: but the therapist Dobson had recommended and Kevin forced himself to see seemed to be doing her job.

Neil went upstairs to let Andrew know they were going while the others looked around for their coats and money. He knocked on the bedroom’s closed door but knew he would come bearing old news: noise from downstairs floated clearly into Andrew’s room, even with a closed door.

“We’re going,” Neil said anyway, stepping up to the bed where Andrew laid, eyes on his phone. “I don’t suppose I can ask you to accompany us?”

Andrew leveled him with a flat look but scooted up the bed when Neil sat down, giving him some room.

“What are you doing?” Neil asked, forgetting for a moment that the others were waiting downstairs. He never saw Andrew on his phone: he was almost the only person Andrew ever messaged, and his calls were always brief and to the point.

“Playing,” Andrew said, and held up the phone. There was a sound almost immediately and the screen flashed with the usual message: “Game over! Click to try again.”

Andrew pressed a button, then sat up on his elbow and inclined the phone so Neil could see the screen. A little line started moving across the screen, turning left or right with Andrew’s command. He recognized the game as a mind-numbing pastime he’d played for a short time as a child, before his mother beat the message into him that phones were for emergencies only. He watched as Andrew narrowly avoided colliding the two extremities of the snake that had progressively grown longer. The other Foxes would have a fit if they saw it: they moaned about Neil’s old dinosaur phone enough.

Andrew held out the phone to Neil when he lost, almost a full minute later. Neil clicked as per the instructions on the screen, but he lasted almost no time at all. He blinked at the screen, watching his snake eat its own tail with surprising disappointment.

“Do you think it’s on my phone too?” he asked, because he’d been working on processing through his most mundane thoughts and desires.

“Yes,” Andrew said. He took back the phone but didn’t load another game, placing it closed on the bed next to him.

Neil realized Andrew was still half-sitting up, looking up at Neil with that slow, intense look he got sometimes. Because he wanted to, Neil leaned down and stopped a hair-width away from Andrew’s mouth, waiting for him to close the distance. Andrew’s lips were slightly chapped but soft against Neil’s mouth. He leaned away when he heard Aaron trudging up the stairs and pass their door on the way to his room.

“You should drink more water,” he said, looking at the empty chocolate mug on the bedside table.

“You should leave before Nicky bursts in and I have to kill him,” Andrew said, settling back against his pillow. He snagged Neil’s and used it to prop his own with a pointed look.

“He wouldn’t dare,” Neil said. “I’ll bring you back something to eat.”

“Donuts.”

Neil hummed. “Glazing?”

“Powdered sugar.”

Nicky didn’t comment on Neil’s lateness as he stepped outside well after the others and took his time adjusting the driver’s seat, but he was back to chatting a mile a minute as soon as they drove out of their neighborhood. He directed Neil with imprecise indications and once forced Neil to brake so hard he almost hit his nose on Kevin’s headrest.

“You might want to park in a side street,” Nicky said as they approached the square the market was held in.

There was bumper-to-bumper traffic and barriers to create a car-free space in the streets around it, with traffic agents in reflective vests. The sight of them made Neil scowl from habit and he slipped into a side street as soon as he could, snatching up a parking spot from a family van.

“Meet back here at six?” Neil suggested as they stepped under the white wooden arch covered in fake-snow that marked the entrance.

Nicky rolled his eyes. “Neil, we all have phones here. Can yours even call?”

“It’s the only thing it can do,” Aaron said. He’d gotten the latest phone from a classmate a few weeks earlier and been insufferable about it since then. Neil had only grown more possessive of his old sturdy phone. He’d chucked it across the room or swiped it down from Andrew’s top bunk enough time to be glad the screen was small and hidden, unlike his classmates’.

“Ooh, here’s a German bakery stand,” Nicky said. “C’mon, we’ll find something for the Millers. Go shop you two!”

He left half-dragging Aaron behind him and shooing away Kevin and Neil towards the other stalls. Neil looked around. There was a decent crowd milling around, but considerably less children than he’d seen at the mall these past weeks, and the open air and small wooden kiosks gave it a more welcoming air.

“It doesn’t look too bad,” he said; Kevin threw him an almost pitying look and left towards the first stand.

Neil followed. Since he was there, he had better do what Nicky suggested and buy presents for Christmas. The problem was, Neil had never celebrated Christmas or any occasion that could have provided him with useful gift-giving skills, and he had no idea where to start.

Since the team had grown, the Foxes had opted for Secret Santa this year, and gathered money for presents for Wymack and Abby. That reduced the number of gifts Neil actually had to put thought into, but the downside of it was that he had no idea what to get Dan.

He strolled the alleys leisurely, looking at the objects displayed with curiosity spurred by boredom. He discarded the slipper stall without approaching it, stayed behind to look at the wood-carving one, and spotted the diverse food-related booths to be sure to stop by before they left.

At some point he grew cold and bought a too-sweet hot chocolate from a talkative man who tried to sell him half of his stack of chocolate. Neil refused first, then took a sip of his chocolate, almost gagging on it. He took out a twenty and left with a bulging bag of chocolate in all its state: bars, candies, irregular little rocks with nuts in them, and a can of powder for cocoa mixes.

Presents were easy, in the end, Neil thought as he continued strolling.

He saw Aaron stopped at a jewelry stand, looking at rings, and he slipped away before he could be seen, only to bump into Nicky at the honey stall.

“Neil, you’ve bought something!” he said. He already had three bags looped around his arm. “Can I see? Unless it’s for me.”

He was peering in before Neil could say no and let out a small laugh.

“Oh, Neil, you big sap,” Nicky said. He ruffled his hair and disappeared back into the crowd.

“Alright,” Neil muttered under his breath. He checked the time only to see he had a little under an hour before going back. He didn’t have a present for Dan and he was growing tired of the crowd, even though it had thinned since night had fallen. He sat down on a bench to finish his chocolate, leaving the dregs of powder at the bottom, and chucked the paper cup into the nearest bin.

Neil saw the exy racquets stuck above the kiosk’s slanted roof first, then Kevin’s coat. Neil blinked once: it wasn’t the kind of booth he’d expected to see at a Christmas market, but he guessed it made sense, since Columbia had its own collegiate and pro teams. Still, seeing Kevin engrossed with the woman at the till was just too familiar a sight that Neil wondered for a brief moment if Kevin’s presence had conjured the stall into existence. He huffed and joined Kevin at the glove shelf.

“Unless you drew my name, that’s not where you’ll find a Christmas gift.”

Kevin didn’t even jump, although he was absorbed in a big tag sewn onto one of the gloves. Neil didn’t fault him for seeking familiarity: he’d had almost as few occasions for holidays celebrations as Neil in his life.

“I got Allison,” he said.

“Then you really need to find another booth.”

“I’ve already got a present for her,” Kevin snapped. “Did you think I was there all this time?”

“Yes.”

Kevin didn’t roll his eyes, but it looked like a near-thing.

“I’m looking for Thea.”

Neil glanced around at the gear spread in display. It wasn’t particularly impressive, but there was quality brands and original designs, which Neil supposed could appeal to some people.

“It’s not very romantic,” he said after a while, because he thought that it was something Allison and her relationship advice would say. Or maybe not. He wasn’t very good at this.

“What did you get Andrew?”

“His weight in chocolate,” Neil answered, holding up the bag though he knew Kevin would disapprove. Sure enough, the frown on Kevin’s forehead deepened. “He likes chocolate.”

“Thea likes exy.”

There was no arguing with that kind of logic, so Neil admired a pile of exy-shaped stress balls in leather, noting the irregularities and the little tag that said they were handmade. He’d turned on keyrings when Kevin finally brought a pair of gloves to the till, taking in the astronomical price without blinking.

The gloves weren’t functional, not fitting any of the ERC’s regulations on color and design, but Neil thought maybe that wasn’t the point. Kevin was very gentle when he slid the wrapped present into a bag, smoothing down the awkward bulk of it.

“Find me a donut stand,” Neil told Kevin as they slipped back into the market’s crowd.

Kevin sighed but did as he was told, using his height to point Neil into the right direction, and didn’t say anything as they watched the donut deep fry before them.

“So who did you draw?” Kevin asked. It was only a quarter to six, so they loitered close to the entrance.

“Dan,” Neil said. “And no, I’m not buying her something exy-related.”

“I was going to say Foxes, not exy,” Kevin protested.

“She’s always taking pictures,” Neil thought out loud. “Maybe a camera?”

He looked around, hoping to conjure an electronics stand the same way he’d thought Kevin had done with the exy stall, but the market mostly sold hand-crafted pieces.

“That’s above budget,” Kevin said. “But I can tell you where to look.”

Neil was surprised for the second it took him to remember Kevin’s old room at Evermore, the postcards and the labelled pictures on the shelves above his bed. He hadn’t seen a camera there, but it could have been hidden, or destroyed. Why hadn’t Kevin still gotten a new one? He’d replaced most of the history books he’d left. But PSU wasn’t an ideal photographic destination; Kevin had mostly taken photos of his travels with Riko and his different teams, historical landmarks. Neil remembered Greek ruins and the bitter thought that their experience of Greece must have been a very different one.

“You should get a new camera,” he said.

Kevin glanced at him. His surprise was obvious, but misplaced.

“After,” he said. It sounded repeated, like a mantra or a promise.

He was scanning the crowd for Nicky or Aaron when he saw a woman with her daughter, stopped a few paces away from Kevin and Neil so the mother could check her phone. Neil waited until she looked up, then approached her.

“Excuse me,” he said, watching her watch him. He repressed the urge to turn away and hide from the stares; his burns looked old by now, but the scars were still unsettling for most people. Then, because he knew what he looked like and understood a mother’s protectiveness, he added: “Did you buy those slippers here?”

The woman was taken aback, but she pointed him towards the slippers stall he had dismissed earlier and left as soon as Neil turned away.

“You managed the gear orders with Coach last year,” Neil said to Kevin as soon as he was within earshot. “What shoe size is Dan?”

“Seven.” Then, satisfied, “and I told you to go for foxes.”

Neil batted a hand at him and hurried to the stall. It was blessedly empty, and Neil wasted no time in spotting the pair of padded fox-shaped slippers he’d seen in the little girl’s bags. Dan had been complaining about their cold dorms since November: apparently heat was more or less broken in the girls’ dorm. He bought the pair in the right size, checked that it was in good condition, and jogged back the entrance arch, where he could see Aaron’s blonde hair and Nicky’s yellow scarf glow under the streetlights.

“There you are!” Nicky said as he joined them. He had three more bags in his hand. Neil was pretty sure Erik’s family wasn’t that big and wondered if he would have to go back and get Nicky a gift, too. “And you’ve got new bags, too! Honestly, I thought you’d be the first one to be done with this.”

“I was,” Neil said, but Nicky was already chattering away, opening his bags to show him what he’d bought Erik’s family.

Neil was impressed despite himself: he’d seen each stall three times, but he hadn’t realized how many random little objects they held until Nicky was fishing them out of his bag one by one. Where Neil had seen mugs and keyrings, Nicky found unique pieces and explained in great detail why it would make the perfect gift. Neil began to rethink his previous belief that the warm coat Nicky had given him last year had been a coincidence with the fact he hadn’t had anything warmer than a hoodie in his wardrobe.

Aaron had to physically lead Nicky out of the way of a pole at one point, but they made their way to the car without major incident and all of Nicky’s purchases safely inside his overflowing bags. They stashed their bags in the trunk of the car and quickly got in, relishing the gradually warmer air blowing from the vents. Perhaps Nicky had gotten Neil gloves this year: he hadn’t thought of buying any and he’d gotten used to South Carolina’s mellow winters.

Neil took out his phone when he felt it vibrate in his pocket, unsurprised when he saw it was from Andrew. There were only two words, but Neil smiled when he read them: I’m hungry.

Back in ten, he sent back, and checked to make sure Kevin was holding the donut bag so it didn’t open and roll around the car; he’d promised Andrew, after all.

[heathercola-blog]

Dear Alex,

Dear Alex,

This isn’t the first letter I’ve written you. But this is the first you’ll never read. 

Still, I write it because maybe you’re out there somewhere. Or maybe I just need to hear it. 

It was many years ago that we first met in person. Winter was giving way to Spring. It was 2010. 

We met up in midtown. I saw you waiting. 

“Alex?” 

“Oh hey!”

“Hi!”

Awkward hug followed. We were young and nervous. 

“So, I was thinking maybe we could go to Central Park. Have you ever been?”

“I haven’t. That sounds great.”

Your voice wasn’t what I expected. You were soft-spoken, with an accent I couldn’t pin down. But you seemed nice. 

We walked to the park. We talked while we walked. I don’t remember what we talked about that day. I wish I did. 

The only thing I remember clearly is kissing you for the first time. I was a late-bloomer. You were the first person I’d ever kissed. I laughed the way I always do when I don’t know how to react to something. 

“What’s wrong?”

“OH nothing. In all honesty, I’ve never kissed anyone before?”

“Really? I wouldn’t have known. That’s cool though.”

Seriously dude, could I have been anymore awkward? I think not. 

“Are you getting kind of hungry?”

Thought you’d never ask.

“Starving.”

“Is Chinese okay? I know a good place.”

“Anything is perfect.”

So we ate Chinese food and then went to the movies where we saw an Italian movie called The Double Hour. I remember we both didn’t like it much. Not that I was paying much attention to the movie.  

I went to the ladies room and read a text from my friend Jenn. 

“Hows it going?!”

“He’s nice. Not what I expected - at all. But he’s nice. I don’t know. I guess it’s good.”

After the movie, we kissed goodnight. I got in my car and drove home. 

The next weekend, you showed me the East Village. We got fries at Pommes Frites. You took me to a store that sold mostly horror movies. We pointed out the ones we had both seen. You were chill. You were fun.

We went to Coney Island on a Saturday. I met your friends. We went on the beach. I hated sand, but I went anyway.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you hated the beach.”

“Oh it’s okay” I said as I poured sand out of my flats.

And you know what? It was okay. Because we laughed. We stayed until the sun went down. We stayed until the neon lights on the rides light up the night and I felt alive.

How many times did I make the trip to Brooklyn after that? We would all hang out at Kevin’s house. We’d go to the movies. We’d eat pizza. We’d be stupid. 

But then things got complicated. You cancelled a bunch of times. You went out to other places without me, without any of us.

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t think I can be in a relationship right now.” 

“Okay, I mean. Wow. Okay.”

“It’s nothing you did.”

And you crushed my heart for a while. I wouldn’t answer your texts. I deleted your number from my phone. I hung out with your friends without you. I didn’t get it. I didn’t get what you did or why you did it. 

One day, I decided to answer. 

“How are you?”

“I’m doing okay, I guess? Um, do you want to hang out with us?” 

“Yeah, okay.”

And you did. You took the subway with me and we kissed and I was happy and mad at the same time. I was getting over you, but here you were again. I went home with a smirk on my face that night.

You made me dinner at your place. You asked if something was wrong with the food because I wasn’t eating (SO UNLIKE ME). I said I was nervous. 

We listened to music. We watched “The Mighty Boosh” because it was your favorite show. I stayed over. 

“Is that a photo of you? Little Alex?”

“Oh yea. That’s me in 3rd grade.”

“Why does is say “Oleksandr?”

“Because that’s how you say Alex in Ukrainian.”

“How do you say “Heather?”

“You don’t. You just say “Heather?”

I kept saying “Oleksandr” over and over. You laughed so hard I made you cry. 

The next morning you asked if I wanted to stay. You said you would cancel your plans. I said no. I went home. 

That was the end of Summer. 

We spent Fall back and forth. We spent Fall listening to Placebo, Nine Inch Nails, William Control, Rasputina. Playlists upon playlists. All the music you introduced me to. 

We spent Fall watching movies, texting into the early morning hours. I felt like I rarely slept and I never minded. 

You read my poems. You told me when they were good and when they needed work. I read yours. They never needed anything. You just had it in you. 

There was the Halloween party in October where it snowed so terribly that we lost power. You made it out to me anyway. I dressed as Snow White. You dressed as a Rabbi. We drank a lot and everyone was freezing. You stayed for two days. I didn’t want you to ever leave. 

We celebrated your birthday. I took you out. We drank ridiculous frozen drinks. I gave you a set of horror movie pins for your jacket, a sappy card. We walked around, found a bench and laughed off the booze until you determined I was sober enough to drive. 

Somewhere during this time I told you I loved you. 

“Don’t say that. Please.”

“But I do love you. I need you to know that.” 

But as the weather got colder, you did too. You were drifting again. We stopped seeing each other as much.

You had a concert to go to in New Jersey. It was late November. I said I would drive you there and back. On the way home, I had on “Ceremonials” by Florence and the Machine.

“This album makes me really depressed.”

“Then why do you keep listening to it.”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t think you should listen to it if it makes you that sad.”

“Oh, that’s what you think?”

“I know you’re really mad at me.” 

“I am really mad at you. You hurt me. More than once.”

We kissed before you got out of the car. 

“We shouldn’t do that anymore.” 

In that moment, I hated you so much.  In the days to come, I let you know it too. 

We spent December not talking except for a letter I wrote you, the contents of which were kind words. 

I was dating someone else by the end of the month. I didn’t know what you were doing. 

I got a text on New Year’s Eve

“How are you? Happy New Year.”

“Hey, how are you? This is really random.”

“I just wanted to see how you were. And I got your letter.”

“I’m good. I’m great actually.” 

“Want to hang out sometime?” 

“Maybe.” 

And we would talk occasionally after that, but I needed to get you out of my life. I knew we couldn’t be friends then, not at that point in time. There were so many hurt feelings. 

I went to dinner with a friend in early January. 

“Stop being sad over Alex. If you mess up this new relationship, it’s your fault.” 

I deleted you from my contacts after that. And Facebook. I denied every request after that for years to come. 

But oddly enough, the last I spoke to you was a few weeks ago.

“Hey. I know this is really random, but I had a dream you dressed up as Noel Fielding for a Halloween party I was having.”

“That is random! But not this year. I don’t have the hat. So how are you? What’s going on?”

“A lot’s happened in seven years.”

“Has it been that long?”

“It has.”

We talked for a while. We were happy for each other. The last thing you said to me was “When an opportunity comes your way, you have to take it.” I replied “Definitely.”

And that’s the last time we will ever speak.

I was doing laundry a week ago, scrolling through Facebook while I waited. 

I saw you had died. That you took your own life. And my heart stopped. And my hands began to shake. And the room full of people and the noise all around me couldn’t drown out the utter disbelief I felt at that moment. Just a few days shy of your 30th birthday. You would never see it. 

I spent a lot of time trying to forget you. Now all I can do is remember. I remember you sitting on my porch smoking with my friends, singing “Piano Man”. I remember waiting with you at the bus stop in the melting snow, not wanting you to go home. I remember the sound of your voice, laughing while you spoke Russian on the phone with your family, the way you truly did not, for one second, care to be anyone but who you were. 

The most personal memories - those are between you and I - they will remain close to my heart for the rest of my life. 

So many years later. Different people with different lives. But I loved you for a time - my first love. 

I will grow older. My life will go on. But yours will not. You are frozen in time in my mind. 

You are as you were then - young, laughing, perfectly flawed, awkwardly holding my hand, asking me to stay. 

So wherever you are, I hope it’s somewhere awesome. Somewhere with endless good music, the best vodka, Mighty Boosh marathons for days. I hope you found the peace you were missing in this life. 

Goodbye Alex. You’re forever in my heart. 

[meeshw777]

Taaaag game

Rules: Tag some people you want to get to know better. I was tagged by the Queen of A/B/O smut @kittenofdoomage, and thanks Rhi.  This was fun <3

Appearance:

5’2 1/2″ short, round, but just under 200 pounds, so woohoo!  In constant search of a bullet bra like my Grandmother wore to contain my 44 D’s cuz gravity is a BITCH! Flat booty, but sturdy AF, which is good because I live in the Windy City.  Hazel eyes that change depending on my clothes, shoulder length brown hair, but currently I have silver roots as my halo is showing :)  No freckles, a couple of wrinkles, a double chin and cheeks that beg to be pinched.  I have worn glasses since second grade.  I am usually smiling, because smiling is my favorite <3

Personality:

I am friendly and generous.  Not as patient as I would like to be and quick to use foul language, which is sometimes not appropriate.  I thrive on being helpful and try very hard to make my fellow humans feel loved and appreciated.  I am sarcastic and mean to those I love, because I know they love me any way.  I have been a fan of many things in my life and I love to talk about them with anyone who will listen. I laugh very easily - especially at people falling down - there is seriously something wrong with me, I laugh cry when people fall.  I am concerned about them, but I cannot ask with out it sounding disingenuous. 

On a related note, I myself fall down a lot - and I laugh the whole time!

Ability:

I like to organize and keep my family on track.  I have a whole section of my brain set up to store movie and tv show info, with a separate section for lyrics and vacation photos.  I do spontaneous gravity checks, as stated earlier.  I can make a pretty good breaded pork chop and twice baked potato, and my kid says my chocolate chip cookies give her life.  I get a close parking spot 95% when I am at the mall when it is busy - ya’ know like now.  Which is good, because I don’t want to be carrying a ton of stuff a long way - is lazy an ability?  If so - I am all over that!  I can sleep any where, at any time - it is my super power!

Hobbies:

Watching anything related to Supernatural, reading fanfic on Tumblr, reading my regular stuff, looking for a job (it is half hearted to appease my husband), paper crafting (making cards and scrapbook pages), trying new recipes and seeing the world.

Experiences:

In my almost 48 years on this planet, in this vessel, I have been a part of some amazing things.  I tried really hard to get all the Cosmo quiz points from a sex quiz I read while I was still in college, which led to some not so good choices, but still, experiences that continue to make me blush.  I think I had two things left, so wow!  I stalked my current husband when it was not chic to do so, but after revealing “oral” talents, he quickly fell under my spell. We have been together 22 years and have lived in the same house for 20 years. 

I grew one human, albeit the birthing was not according to plan, every time I look at her snarky little face, I think, “I made that!”  and I beam with pride, and she in turn asks me if I am having a stroke, do I smell toast, because I get a weird look on my face.  I have been to 44 of these United States and have only lived in Illinois. Since losing over 100 pounds I have been on a hot air balloon ride and gone to an indoor skydiving place - I would do both again.  

In my 12 years of running movie theaters - pre-Samantha - I met a lot of interesting people - Nicholas Cage (he signed my Face/Off clock!), Prince, Mary J. Blige, Kevin Spacey, Eric Clapton and Nick Cannon, from his Drumline days.  Many concerts - U2, Erasure, Billy Joel at Wrigley Field, The Rolling Stones at Soldier Field, Elton John, Bob Seger and The Bare Naked Ladies several times, once at the zoo!  Seeing Disney’s animated TARZAN at a convention, then Phil Collins did a small concert for us - so AWESOME! I took a boat tour in Honolulu on a teak boat that was once owned by Humphrey Bogart, it’s called the Jada II, so cool!  

And recently my new obsession is Supernatural conventions.  I have been to two and plan on ChiCon this July.  Seeing my daughter enter puberty during Gil’s song at Karaoke is something I will NEVER forget.  Building relationships with other SPN obsessed people has been a gift.

My life:

It is with experience that I can look back and be grateful for the struggles and see where I can do better, be better and that is my goal.  If I could go back to teen me, I would tell me to forgo the pastries and chips, life is easier lighter.  I recently spent an afternoon with childhood friend whom I hadn’t seen in 30 years.  She just kept smiling and she said I hadn’t changed.  I was like of course I have.  And she said, “Nope.  You are still a positive force that makes me smile.” That has to be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Random Stuff:

I am a Polish, Latvian lady born in Chicago.  I have a step brother and half brother, and when I got them I always wanted an older brother, not the same!  I learned to ride a bike at 12, did not pass my driver’s test the first time and I was heart broken.  Once getting my license though, any time I got a speeding ticket, I made a copy and mailed it to my father.  I blamed him, because I could not watch cartoons on Saturday mornings, it was Formula One races on the tv. I am learning yoga and enjoying the journey. I have one tattoo and only ear piercings.  I am a Lifetime Member of the NRA and inherited a fine collection of firearms, and I am a better shot than my husband. I married into a HUGE family and I love them all, especially my best friend, who is my husband’s cousin. I am not a writer, but sometimes feel the inclination.  I cannot go to bed if there are dishes in the sink.  I am a hugger and I think J2 give awesome hugs <3

Tagging: @jpadjackles, @atc74, @whatdoyouthinkmyjobis, @supernatural-jackles, @sis-tafics, @percywinchester27, @waywardlodging.  I enjoyed doing this and if you lovelies have time I would love to hear more about you <3

[actutrends]

FanSided’s favorite sports and entertainment figures as Christmas gifts

Image by INA FASSBENDER/AFP by means of Getty Images

Christmas gifts can be amazing, or they can be downright disappointing. For the holiday, our FanSided staff chose to compare our preferred sports groups, professional athletes, movies and TV shows to what might be waiting under the tree.

From short articles of clothes to present cards to more interesting and distinct presents, Christmas gifts can be awesome or disappointing, frequently with little ground in between. We have actually all had that one auntie who demands providing you socks when you wanted toys to play with, that a person godchild who continues to provide mama vital oils she’ll never utilize, or that cool relative who just asks your parents what to buy so they really get it right.

Throughout the significant sports and entertainment industry in general, 2019 has been jam-packed with teams, professional athletes, motion pictures and TELEVISION shows that have mesmerized us in addition to underwhelmed us.

With the peak of the vacation season completely upon us, it’s time to have a look at FanSided’s preferred teams, players and binge-able content and compare them to the types of Christmas gifts we can expect to find under the tree this year.

New England Patriots are a tie for dad

Father doesn’t truly desire a tie for Christmas, but it does not matter because he’s getting one anyway and the same thing keeps occurring to every NFL fan beyond New England. Nobody wants them around any longer, however they will damn sure be there in the end.– Patrick Allen

Joe Burrow is a shiny brand-new computer game console

There’s always going to be one marquee present awaiting you under the Christmas tree. In some cases you believe you have a great idea of what it might be based on the size, shape and weight of the present. But most times you truly have no hint what is waiting for you under the wrapping paper. That’s what LSU quarterback Joe Burrow was en route to his Heisman season. He is the greatest revelation in college football, and LSU fans will never forget the moment they got this present.– Patrick Schmidt

Star Wars is a 1977 Chevy Impala

Take an appearance at this old classic. It’s from a well-known brand name, and it keeps getting updated throughout the years. That is, you were delighted to see this old car back in the late ’90 s because it’s such a traditional, however it type of dissatisfied you. Now, it’s trying to live up to its old reputation, and naively, you anticipate it to be great when again. Unusual enough, this old thing still runs quite well, and you’re pleased to have it back!– Mia Johnson

The New York Knicks are an unsightly woolen sweatshirt from grandma

Remember over the summertime, when the New York Knicks were supposed to land all these huge fish in free agency? And after that how they didn’t and chosen Julius Randle and the rest of the league’s experienced power forwards? And after that how they began the season 4-13 and hosted an interview to essentially toss their head coach under the bus? Like the extra-large, woollen sweatshirt that grandma knitted herself, you feel bad, but the Knicks are simply flat-out awkward. In the words of Kevin McCallister, “You can get batter for wearing something like that.” That’s what it resembles to be a Knicks fan in 2019.– Gerald Bourguet

Video Game of Thrones is a Red Ryder air rifle

In A Christmas Story, all young Ralphie wants on the planet for Christmas is a Red Ryder air rifle. After quick frustration in which his moms and dads subvert his expectation, he gets the gun. Regrettably, when he goes to play with it, he shoots himself in the face (well, kind of) and after that breaks his glasses. Still, when he goes to sleep, he states it the very best gift ever.

All anyone might speak about this spring was the highly expected last season of Game of Thrones, however the last act reviewed like a BB pellet to the face. (Surprising, undesirable, ultimately safe.) Still, fans will tell you it’s the finest program ever.– Shea Corrigan

Lionel Messi is an incredibly generous check from your grandmother

It’s the very same every year, to the point where you kind of forget how fantastic it is, however in terms of what you’re really getting, it can do things that no other present can. Sure, it used to be part of a sophisticated plan and now it simply comes tucked into an easy card, but the value is still there and it should be valued. Do not forget to compose your granny a thank you note, and do not forget to completely value Messi, whether you think he’s the GOAT.– John Wilkinson

BoJack Horseman is that restorative self-help book you didn’t understand you needed

When you initially receive this sort of present, your initial response is feeling shocked and potentially even insulted. This could not possibly be for me, you think to yourself. But when you dive in, you find it to be charming and insightful. It’s laugh-out-loud funny sometimes and thoroughly heart-wrenching at others as you discover aspects of yourself. No one is declaring BoJack Horseman has all the responses, just as no self-help book can cure all that ails anybody … but damn it if this story about an animated anthropomorphic horse’s battle with celeb, anxiety, substance abuse, relationships and self-acceptance hasn’t blown away expectations for those who have actually provided it more than a passing look. — Gerald Bourguet

Avengers: Endgame is a brand name brand-new iPhone

This is something that you’ve been waiting on permanently to come out, and you’ve been counting down the days ’til you might have it or see. Everyone’s been hyping it up, and it’s going to be larger and better than the last one. Endgame definitely did blow past everyone’s expectations, and the iPhone 11 provided another effective upgrade to the long-running line. They’re exciting, they’re costly, (and there’s a lot of them), however you love them either way.– Mia Johnson

The Houston Firecrackers are money

Getting cash for the holidays is uninspiring, and no place near as amazing as getting an actual present. Simply put, it’s not everybody’s cup of tea. With that being said, it still finishes the job at the end of the day. James Harden and the Firecrackers’ ability to acquire routine season wins are a lot like getting a $20 costs in a Christmas card: Not everyone enjoys their design, but at the end of the day, it’s still a W.– Gerald Bourguet

The Mandalorian is a fuzzy blanket

Infant Yoda … that is the only description needed!– Carrie Bennani

The Pittsburgh Penguins are a sweater that inadvertently got a bunch of holes in it

The Pittsburgh Penguins have actually been a constant playoff presence in hockey for several years. The last time they missed out on the postseason was the 2005-06 season, a lifetime back for some of us. This year, however, the team has sustained injury upon injury, to the point where their lineup each video game looks like it was taken out of a hat at random from throughout the NHL’s bottom six. This is definitely not the method Pittsburgh prepared this season, just like how your aunt did not strategy to have moths eat the sweatshirt she worked relentlessly on all fall for you. The great news, though, is that Sidney Crosby might have the ability to spot the holes in the Penguins’ lineup through sheer force of will, though it might take some time.– Mary Clarke

Alabama is an Amazon gift card

Present cards are what you get individuals when you don’t know what to get them. They’re likewise what you get people when you’re too lazy to get them a personalized or meaningful gift. It’s uninteresting. It’s unoriginal. It’s been around permanently. It’s definitely not interesting or something you hurry to have fun with or utilize on Christmas morning.– Patrick Schmidt

The Oakland A’s are a leased computer game

You know what’s enjoyable? Opening up a present. You know what isn’t enjoyable? Being informed that the gift is only yours for a couple of years, and after that you have to give the gift away to the richest kid on the street. This is what it’s like rooting for the A’s. You have Marcus Semien, Matt Olson and Matt Chapman in your infield? Damn! Enjoy that, they’ll all be using pinstripes and underperforming in four years.– Matt Verderame

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The post FanSided’s favorite sports and entertainment figures as Christmas gifts appeared first on Actu Trends.

[racingtoaredlight]

What else are you gonna do with your stupid life? College football watch ‘em ups for week 2 (officially) of the 2018 season

I’m all in on the rebirth of the run & shoot and don’t know if I have enough caring in me to write about every game this week. FUCK IT WE’LL DO IT LIVE!

Disclaimers about time zones and other sites and what the fuck ever go here. It doesn’t matter, we rake in like zero ad dollars from these posts.

This week is an oddity due to a lack of off-day games. Just one Friday and no others. I kind of wish every week was like this but I think this is the only one for the year.

Saturday, September 8

Matchup                                                     Time (ET)                 TV/Mobile

Arizona at Houston                                   12:00pm           ABC/ESPN2 (RM

Khalil Tate and Kevin Sumlin might just be a match made in hell. Ed Oliver has personally humiliated some great dual-threat QBs in the past but I don’t know if Tate is actually a threat through the air. Not sure what that means for the all-important stats.

Duke at Northwestern                               12:00pm                    ESPNU

Northwestern sucks. I’ll still root for them but they’re not good.

Eastern Michigan at Purdue                      12:00pm                      BTN

The nation’s leader in all-purpose yards at home against EMU? Hell yes.

Georgia Tech at USF                                   12:00pm              ABC/ESPN2 (RM)

I almost made a national champions joke but USF and UCF are actually different schools. Not by much, mind you. Based on one week against stiffs I have the impression this is a good year for the Ramblin’ Wreck.

Liberty at Army                                            12:00pm                       CBSSN

Army doesn’t even play a cool version of the option. This game is a pox.

Mississippi State at Kansas State              12:00pm                        ESPN

A bunch of guys who will play in the NFL next year are playing against each other for teams that will combine to lose 10+ games this year. This is a headache in a bag. I think I’d take KState +8 and the over of 54.5.

Nevada at Vanderbilt                                    12:00pm                        SECN

Oddly enough, I’d be totally into this one if Vandy were flying West for a 10pm kickoff. This version looks terrible, though.

New Mexico at Wisconsin                            12:00pm                         BTN

Can’t wait for Hornibrook to end up getting a Heisman invite. He’s Wisconsin’s answer to Gino Torretta.

Towson at Wake Forest                                 12:00pm                   ACCNExtra

I’ve always thought of it as “Nextra” but then I saw it written as ACCNE and now there’s no going back.

Western Michigan at Michigan                      12:00pm                        FS1

I know I’m stupid and crazy but I haven’t sold all of my Harbaugh stock just yet. I’ve heard about how he’s not a college coach and he’ll be back in the NFL next year but I can’t shake the feeling that he can still get things to click with just a little more time.

Georgia State at NC State                              12:30pm                       RSN

NC State lost a ton of talent to the pros this year and the next in line from QBU isn’t really as great as his offseason draft hype. Georgia State is absolutely going to beat the spread.

Holy Cross at Boston College                         1:00pm                     ACCNExtra

Somehow this battle for Boston reminded me of somebody explaining in excruciating detail about how BC isn’t in Boston and it just makes me hate that place and its people all over again.

UCLA at Oklahoma                                           1:00pm                        FOX

UCLA generally doesn’t do very well in early games and Oklahoma’s talent level is very obviously higher than the Bruins at every position. I don’t know what point to make here. Hopefully Rodney Anderson gets more than 5 carries this week but he might not need to.

Air Force at Florida Atlantic                             2:00pm       CBSSN / Facebook

FAU got murdered by Oklahoma last week so I’m a little bit intrigued by how Lane bounces back. Vegas really likes the Owls but I’m not really sure why.

Portland State at Oregon                                 2:00pm                    Pac-12N

This is some high quality trash. I won’t watch it due to dumb circumstances but I’d enjoy it if I could.

William & Mary at Virginia Tech                       2:00pm                ACCNExtra

The Hokies looked pretty good against FSU. I forgot all about Josh Jackson since he missed the 2017 season but I think he’s a pretty good college QB.

Kansas at Central Michigan                            3:00pm                  ESPN Plus

What can you say about Kansas football without laughing maniacally?

Arkansas State at Alabama                             3:30pm                    ESPN2

Red Wolves vs. Crimson Tide should be some sort of rivalry. Bama looks every bit as good as expected so this will probably be a bloodbath. In red.

Ball State at Notre Dame                                 3:30pm                     NBC

Notre Dame gets to walk around like a top 10 team for now but a 7-point win over Michigan at home in a game that felt like a blowout doesn’t strike me as a springboard to a CFB Playoff berth. Brian Kelly is still a shitty murderer so fuck him.

Buffalo at Temple                                              3:30pm                    ESPN3

Tyree Jackson threw 6 TDs last week while Temple was losing to Villanova. The result? Temple is favored by 5. That seems wrong. Are there really people betting their hearts in what looks like a classic degenerate’s matchup?

Colorado at Nebraska                                       3:30pm                      ABC

Big 8 rivals square off in the first game (probably!) of the Scott Frost era. Smart money is probably on Colorado.

Georgia at South Carolina                                 3:30pm                     CBS

If Coach Boom is going to make the most of his great roster he needs to spring the upset here. That doesn’t seem crazy to me so look for UGA to win by 40.

Howard at Kent State                                        3:30pm                ESPN Plus

A bunch of 1-AA teams are in the watch ‘em ups for a second time this week but Howard is closest to my heart. Love the Bison to trample the Gun Girls.

Memphis at Navy                                               3:30pm                    CBSSN

This is the only game most years where I cheer against Memphis. I don’t have a great feeling about this Navy team, though, so my advice for you who are wondering is to put the mansion on Memphis to win by more than 6 and for the over to hit some time in the third quarter.

Morgan State at Akron                                      3:30pm                  ESPN Plus

I’ll leave this one to Soused.

North Carolina at East Carolina                       3:30pm                     ESPNU

This game was in the maybe watch column on SB Nation’s grid this week and I can’t comprehend why this is anything but AVOID!!!!! even if they don’t offer that designation.

Rutgers at Ohio State                                        3:30pm                       BTN

Ohio State is out here with a boatload of talent and a scheme that mostly runs itself in games like this. I wish all bad things on the Ohio State football program but they have some really great players that I don’t hate.

Wagner at Syracuse                                           3:30pm                 ACCNExtra

Eric Dungey’s quest for a rushing title continues.

ETSU at Tennessee                                            4:00pm                      SECN

Without looking I think Tennessee is probably favored. By too much.

Lamar at Texas Tech                                          4:00pm                 FSN / FSGo

I make jokes about Lamar being just some dude every year and it’s dumb but I can’t look at Lamar and not think it’s just some dude instead of a team.

Southern Illinois at University of Mississippi    4:00pm                     SECNA

What’s up with fixing the mascot name but not the other super racist allusion in your sports programs? Progress of some sort, I guess. This is a body bag game of the lowest caliber.

Iowa State at Iowa                                              5:00pm                      FOX

Potentially cool game at college football’s most heartwarming stadium. Nothing here not to love.

North Dakota at Washington                              5:00pm                  Pac-12N

Is this the same school that Carson Wentz went to? I’m not looking it up. A lot of you were all in on Auburn trashing UDub last week but that didn’t actually happen. Washington could still win 12 straight and end up back in playoff contention, even without their star LT.

Appalachian State at Charlotte                          6:00pm                ESPN Plus

Wild to think this is 1-A on 1-A.

Maryland at Bowling Green                                 6:00pm               ESPN Plus

It was funny to see Texas lose and all but let’s all remember to hate the fuck out of Maryland’s coaches and program from here to eternity.

Savannah State at Miami (FL)                             6:00pm               ACCNExtra

There is no reason for most people to give a shit about this game but I’m interested to see if the freshman QBs are really bad or if Mark Richt is just being way too conservative with his roster by starting Malik Rosier. My gut says nobody is worse for this team than Rosier. I know Ahmmon Richards, for one, agrees with me.

SC State at UCF                                                   6:00pm                  ESPN3

Here’s the national champs. Not gonna lose the winning streak here.

UMass at Georgia Southern                                6:00pm                 ESPN Plus

Now we’re getting into some good degeneracy. There are too many other games at this same time to really dive into this shitfest but it’s real as hell to me.

Youngstown State at West Virginia                     6:00pm                    ATTSN

I was looking at games on CBS Sports and they didn’t have a channel listed for this game. ATTSN = AT&T Sports Network, guessing a DirecTV exclusive? I love Holgo even if I kinda hate the Air Raid.

Eastern Kentucky at Marshall                             6:30pm                 ESPN Plus

Here’s another great backup game. I don’t know if anybody good is on either team this year.

Baylor at UTSA                                                     7:00pm     CBSSN / Facebook

Ugh. Fucking Baylor. Go the fuck away forever, Baylor.

Clemson at Texas A&M                                        7:00pm                      ESPN

Until about 5 years ago Clemson and aTm were actually the same program. Now Clemson is a legit 5-star program and I fucking hate it. Not enough to root for the Aggies, mind you. Talent watching is pretty good in this one but the idea of Jimbo Fisher falling flat on his face in Aggieland is too good not to dream about.

Florida A&M at Troy                                              7:00pm                  ESPN Plus

Let’s go Rattlers!

Indiana State at Louisville                                   7:00pm                 ACCNExtra

Petrino might be on the verge of sunsetting unless he flukes his way into another megastar. Louisville looks like the most ACC of ACC teams right now even though they have no business being in the conference. This should be an AAC team all the way.

Southeastern La. at LSU                                     7:00pm                    ESPN2

I want to whisper to all of you that LSU really isn’t all that good but I’m typing and you’re maybe reading it instead.

Southern at LA Tech                                            7:00pm                 ESPN Plus

Louisiana Tech is one of my pet stupid programs. I always think they’re one random star recruit away from becoming the next offense lab in college football. This probably isn’t the year, though.

Texas Southern at Texas State                           7:00pm              KNVA/ESPN3

If anybody has more than a gambling interest in this one I am dying to hear about it. Seriously. Explain yourself.

UAB at Coastal Carolina                                      7:00pm                ESPN Plus

Last week I insulted UAB’s football program and they went out and won 52-0, their first shutout victory in 10 years. So let me continue my campaign for them to drop the program again.

ULM at Southern Miss                                          7:00pm                 ESPN3

I don’t think I realized until right now that CUSA is the surviving shell of the old Metro Conference. I thought the Metro just died. Anyway, CUSA football is MACtion for degenerates. Meaning that I like it. This game got a shoutout on the NFL’s season opener so maybe it will draw an audience in the hundreds.

UT Martin at Middle Tennessee                           7:00pm               ESPN Plus

The Tee Martins are back! How does it feel to play football your whole life and go to college for football and then realize that you’re playing for the team that’s being paid to lay down to Middle Tennessee State? Not even like Wake Forest or somebody like that - worse! It still sounds kind of fun but embarrassing at the same time.

Wyoming at Missouri                                             7:00pm                  ESPNU

Drew Lock has some similar physical traits to Wyoming’s QB from last year but I think he’s gotten better coaching. Similar arm talent(!!!) at least. I don’t know about the raw athleticism which, no shit, Josh Allen has tons of. Anyway, Missouri should stomp all over Wyoming.

Samford at Florida State                                       7:20pm              ACCNExtra

The Bobby Bowden Bowl! The immediate reactions to Willie Taggert at FSU were loud and angry but he needs some time to sort through the weird mess that the team devolved into last year. I don’t think he can keep running the offense he had at USF with this roster, though, and he needs to figure that out quickly.

Alabama State at Auburn                                       7:30pm                SECNA

The Littlest Iron Bowl! Auburn is another team that didn’t look great to me in week 1. And they don’t have any obvious path to the playoffs.

Arkansas at Colorado State                                  7:30pm                CBSSN

This might be the farthest an SEC team has traveled for a regular season game this century.

FIU at Old Dominion                                               7:30pm          beIN SPORTS

Keep the faith in Butch Davis. It’ll turn out pretty well in the end. I think.

Fresno State at Minnesota                                     7:30pm                   FS1

I think CSU-Fresno had the highest point total in the country in week 1 but it came against 1-AA Idaho State. Yeah, I just wanted to drop a mention to Idaho State as a (once again) 1-AA team. This game is probably trash but it has the decency to be a dumb night game that nobody will notice unless it gets wild.

Incarnate Word at North Texas                               7:30pm             ESPN Plus

This is truly bottom of the barrel stuff but UNT does have the nation’s leader in passing yards per game!

Kentucky at Florida                                                 7:30pm                  SECN

UF is really heavily favored to win their 32nd straight against Kentucky but why? The line is only 14 but odds are weighted like 88% for the Gators to win. Kentucky sucks but doesn’t Florida?

Maine at WKU                                                          7:30pm             ESPN Plus

A lot of oddball evening games this week. I like it.

Utah at NIU                                                                7:30pm             ESPNews

Northern Illinois got blown out by Iowa last week. Utah looked like hell for the first 30 minutes against Weber State. I don’t have a point. Utah will probably win by 20.

Virginia at Indiana                                                      7:30pm                BTN

UVA and IU are more similar than dissimilar historically speaking. This game makes me annoyed just knowing that it’s going to happen and that it’s on Big Ten Network. Get your shit together, Hoos.

Western Illinois at Illinois                                          7:30pm                BTN

It would be so Lovie Smith to lose this game.

Cincinnati at Miami (Ohio)                                         8:00pm   Raycom / ESPN3

I agree with what Ohio State fans were saying a few years back: Luke Fickell sucks.

New Mexico State at Utah State                              8:00pm           Facebook

Facebook? For this one? Boo hiss. This is prime gambling athletics, nobody should be tracking you as you watch this one.

Nicholls at Tulane                                                      8:00pm              ESPN3

Nicholls! The Nicholls Nickels! Tulane doesn’t get a lot of easy wins but I think we can all agree with some bit of confidence that Tulane may suck loudly but they’re still better than Kansas.

Penn State at Pitt                                                       8:00pm               ABC

I have an unhealthy and unrealistic need for Pitt to win this game.

Sacramento State at San Diego State                     8:00pm             No TV (!!!)

What in the goddamn fucking hell is SDSU doing with no TV coverage in 2018? Christ almighty. This is hilarious.

South Alabama at Oklahoma State                          8:00pm                FSN

I wish South Alabama was good enough to at least put the fear of god in Okie State but they really aren’t. Expect a typical early season massacre from the Cowboys.

Southern Utah at Oregon State                                8:00pm             Pac-12N

What the hell is this?

Tulsa at Texas                                                             8:00pm                 LHN

Tulsa only beat Central Arkansas by 11 last week but Texas lost to Maryland. 23 points might be too much to expect for the Longhorns at this juncture.

USC at Stanford                                                          8:30pm                 FOX

The Pac-12 is known for two things: bad scheduling and bad referees. Also, bad defenses so that makes three things. This is bad scheduling. Why is the most marketable game of your whole conference year happening in week 2 at 8:30pm EST? This is absolutely moronic.

UTEP at UNLV                                                              9:00pm               ATTSN

Ever since it popped into my head last year or the year before I just can’t get over UNLV being confederate-themed. What the hell is that?

California at BYU                                                        10:15pm              ESPN2

This is actually beautiful scheduling which makes me think BYU came up with it themselves. Great uniform matchup even if both teams stink.

UConn at Boise State                                               10:15pm    ESPN2/ESPNU

Haha, UConn. What are you doing? How did this program actually make it to major bowl game in the last 10 years? They’re 31-point underdogs playing past their bedtimes against an OK-at-best Boise State team. This somehow feels earned.

Michigan State at Arizona State                               10:45pm               ESPN

Really not sure how Sparty agreed to this one but if I have one strong conviction from week 1 it’s that Herm Edwards should have stayed a TV talking head and left the coaching game to everybody else.

San Jose State at Washington State                         11:00pm           Pac-12N

Very fine watchin’ ‘em up here. You have to catch them all.

Rice at Hawai’i                                                              11:59pm          Spectrum

Spectrum is a station? Spectrum is a cable company. Anyway, Rice played Ed Oliver last week and now they have to face early RTARLsman frontrunner Cole McDonald. I’m cautiously bandwagoning for Hawai’i.

[joshuazev]

On injera and carts of math books:

It’s snowing in Seattle.  I can see it all over social media my mom even face timed me to show the beginning of the fall.  It’s cold here and drizzling.  Throughout the entirety of the day I was thinking of how nice it would be to resort back to old traditions back home with my family.  Sit on the couch and watch a movie or two.  Eat some sweets like some chocolate chip cookies, a Christmas cake (but a jewish rendition), or some chocolate chip banana bread.  The quote of the week seemed to be that Christmas didn’t really feel like a holiday anymore or maybe I just heard a lot of people speaking the same bogus.  Kyrie Irving, the point guard for the Boston Celtics, who is infamously known for pushing the “world is flat” theory said that he doesn’t consider Christmas a holiday, anymore.  To him, and his case is specific, it’s just another day to spend time with your family.  As a professional basketball player I can see how that might be the case, but I think that applies to everybody.  Yes, it’s still the most hectic holiday—with respect to adoration and preparation—but when it comes down to it, everybody loves Christmas Eve and Christmas because it might be the only day where everyone’s family gets together.  And even though I don’t celebrate it, this is the first time I’ve ever spent these days away from my family.  It kind of sucked.  It did suck.  Now, that being said my roommate and I still did what we could to make the most of it.  I bought groceries at a pretty tame Trader Joes.  (According to the cashier it wasn’t very crowded because a lot of people living in New York aren’t from New York, so everyone was back home).  I did some laundry.  I woke up late to another grey sky and cool day, so even though I wasn’t physically back home the elements were trying their hardest to provide an embrace.  Upon the suggestion of my roommate, we tried to have a Christmas eve meal somewhere, but to our dismay most of the places were closed.  We ended up meeting with a friend of mine and going to a vegan Ethiopian place that she and I had gone to a couple of days before.  It was one of the only places around that was open late.  A couple of us literally got what the menu called a “Feast,” which was a huge plate of injera with seven items from the menu.  Lentils, greens, beets, you name it.  It was filling and delicious all at the same time.  For some odd reason I was inclined to drink some wine with the other two.  We emptied a bottle of red pretty quickly, and not being used to getting tipsy from drinking wine, I became drowsy by the end of the meal.  In the first ten months of this year I could count the amount of times I had something to drink on two hands, but for some reason I’ve been drinking more lately.  I’m a bit disappointed in myself because it was one of my resolutions to greatly reduce and try to not drink at all, but it almost feels like these last couple months have been a relapse of sorts.  I’m not an alcoholic, but alcohol—especially in social settings—is such a crutch.  Disciplining myself not to drink when there are drinks around might be something that I have to practice over time.

There were many opportunities today to get on the right track in several different areas of study, cleaning, and mindset, but my overriding excuse to everything was that it was Christmas and I would take care of it when the holidays were over.  I almost got trapped into saying I’ll just take care of it next year considering that 2018 is in a week now, but luckily I didn’t go that far.  I’m not getting down on myself for being lazy today or for not accomplishing the tasks I wanted to accomplish, but I’m very cognizant lately of troubling trends and bad habits.  Like always, I know that recognition is not enough—I must go through the trouble of changing.  Sometimes when I’m walking around the city I ask myself if other people have done what they need to do to change, not knowing who they are or what their current situation may be.  On the way home from the restaurant there was a guy on the subway with a heavily tattooed face asking for money and wearing what looked to be a brand new leather backpack.  Or when we were waiting for the train, there was this guy who was speed walking, dropped the sweater he was holding and then tried to sell it to us for three dollars.  I always wonder what it would be like to be homeless.  What would the struggles be.  I looked on a social media post that showed a homeless man acting out on the street.  Two of the visible comments were by ex-NFL players who agreed that homeless people were the freest people on the earth.  I didn’t know exactly what they were talking about, but after a while I could kind of see where they were coming from.  Then again, walking from stop to stop today when the winds were doing their chilly best to give my body frostbite, I agreed that being homeless wasn’t on the top of my list.  In one of my earlier posts I talked about some moments of anxiety in which I realize I’ve been holding my breath and it makes me take a huge gasp, almost like I’ve woken up from a nightmare.  I feel for the homeless population, especially during times like these.  I wish they could be with their families.  I wish they weren’t spending their time trying to stay warm in the cold.  Good thing there is a new tax bill that’s looking out for them…

This week I made two separate visits to Strand’s bookstore, near Union Square.  I didn’t really have a point to going there, but there was a book I was interested in reading and at the time there was 175 plus holds on all of the copies at the library.  So, when I got there and saw that the hardcover was $24 and that it was a New York Times bestseller and that plenty of copies had already been sold, I told myself that I would treat my visit to Strand’s as if it was the library and I would try to just read the book there.  The book, which I have almost finished now, is called “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***.”  It had been recommended to me by many of my friends and I was interested in taking a look to see what all the hype was about.  The first two chapters (my first visit) made me very defensive.  A lot of the author’s mentality is backwards and attempts to challenge out hardwired ways of thinking.  A lot of it was obvious on the surface (we stress out too much) to the types of advice that makes someone like me a little less comfortable (we need to stop caring as much and we need to accept that not everyone is extraordinary, potentially even us).  I realized that during my second visit (the next two chapters) that I would need to try to find the information I agreed with and take the rest with a grain of salt.  I was naturally skeptical and questioned how genuine this author really was.  I wondered if he stood by what he was saying or he was just trying to make money.  I also wondered if it was my own insecurities that were questioning the advice of a successful man.  I don’t know for sure, yet.  I’m hoping to go back soon and finish after a couple more visits.  My thoughts on self-help books haven’t changed much, though.  I don’t know why, but I’ve stayed away from them.  On the surface it makes me look pathetic because it looks like I’m not trying to help myself, but call me crazy, I just feel like a lot of those books are a bunch of bullshit.  I’m sure they work for some people.  I just don’t know if they work for me.  It’ll be good for me to finish this one.  

Strand’s was a wonderful sight though.  It was earlier in the week, so I think it was a wonderful mix of the everyday vibrancy of the bookstore and all of these men, women, and children who were there in the hope of trying to find a decent gift for Christmas.  I reveled in the business of it all.  A city within a bookstore.  Creatures scurrying around.  It was fantastic.  The first day I sat on a bench on the second floor and people came and went to sit beside me.  Finally one older guy sat down next to me with a bunch of math books and started to take out his notebook and begin copying random equations down.  The second day, I went to go to the same bench and there was no room to sit and sure enough, the mathematician was in the same exact spot with his notebook, math books, and cart right in front of him.  I went to the other one in the back and after about fifteen minutes this older guy sat down next to me and was struggling with a slow I-Phone.  I suggested that maybe he get out of all of his open applications and he looked at me like I was speaking Chinese.  It took a while, but when he let me show him how to do it his phone started speeding up again.  He said, “How much would you like?” and with a confused face, I shrugged it off and told him that I hope his phone starts working better now.  He ended up striking a conversation and we talked for a little while.  He couldn’t hear very well, so I had to repeat a lot.  He continued on about how he loves music and preferred to listen to the opera in Europe because the acoustics were way better over there than the “crap” in America.  When I told him I was an actor, there was good conversation to be had, but then he started to take some ill advised left turns.  He talked about Kevin Spacey, Hollywood, Weinstein and other relatable topics.  His stance would have been torn apart by women and his final conclusion seemed to be that he was an amoral person and that we were ridiculous to be in a position to judge morality or to judge someone else’s morals.  I realized that I had shut him off when I could tell his opinions were getting on my nerves and looking back on it, I wish I hadn’t.  I had made a mistake and an error in judgement and instead of trying to hear him out and tell him why I disagreed I turn the sound all the way off.  Like Matt Damon and other men recently who insist on giving their opinion on the topic, a spectrum of bad behavior should have been considered.  To me it sounded like men that were comfortable with an old way of life trying to justify a machismo society, but maybe that’s what my tone deaf ears were telling me.  The amoral comment, which really struck a funky chord, is one that I’m still trying to unwrap, but maybe, all things considered, he was making a good point.  We are all creatures.  Creatures that have done and done wrong, so really, who are we to judge, at all?  

[actutrends]

FanSided’s favorite sports and entertainment figures as Christmas gifts

Photo by INA FASSBENDER/AFP via Getty Images

Christmas gifts can be incredible, or they can be downright disappointing. For the holiday season, our FanSided staff decided to compare our favorite sports teams, athletes, movies and TV shows to what might be waiting under the tree.

From articles of clothing to gift cards to more exciting and unique presents, Christmas gifts can be thrilling or disappointing, often with little ground in between. We’ve all had that one aunt who insists on giving you socks when you wanted toys to play with, that one godchild who continues to give mom essential oils she’ll never use, or that cool relative who just asks your parents what to shop for so they actually get it right.

Across the major sports and entertainment industry in general, 2019 has been jam-packed with teams, athletes, movies and TV shows that have captivated us as well as underwhelmed us.

With the peak of the holiday season fully upon us, it’s time to take a look at FanSided’s favorite teams, players and binge-able content and compare them to the types of Christmas gifts we can expect to find under the tree this year.

New England Patriots are a tie for dad

Dad doesn’t really want a tie for Christmas, but it doesn’t matter because he’s getting one anyway and the same thing keeps happening to every NFL fan outside of New England. Nobody wants them around anymore, but they will damn sure be there in the end. — Patrick Allen

Joe Burrow is a shiny new video game console

There’s always going to be one marquee present waiting for you under the Christmas tree. Sometimes you think you have a good idea of what it might be based on the size, shape and weight of the gift. But most times you really have no clue what is waiting for you under the wrapping paper. That’s what LSU quarterback Joe Burrow was en route to his Heisman season. He is the biggest revelation in college football, and LSU fans will never forget the moment they got this present. — Patrick Schmidt

Star Wars is a 1977 Chevy Impala

Take a look at this old classic. It’s from a well-known brand, and it keeps getting updated over the years. That is, you were excited to see this old car back in the late ‘90s because it’s such a classic, but it kind of disappointed you. Now, it’s trying to live up to its old reputation, and naively, you expect it to be good once again. Strange enough, this old thing still runs pretty well, and you’re happy to have it back! — Mia Johnson

The New York Knicks are an ugly woolen sweater from grandma

Remember over the summer, when the New York Knicks were supposed to land all these big fish in free agency? And then how they didn’t and settled for Julius Randle and the rest of the league’s veteran power forwards? And then how they started the season 4-13 and hosted a press conference to essentially throw their head coach under the bus? Like the oversized, woollen sweater that grandma knitted herself, you feel bad, but the Knicks are just flat-out embarrassing. In the words of Kevin McCallister, “You can get beat up for wearing something like that.” That’s what it’s like to be a Knicks fan in 2019. — Gerald Bourguet

Game of Thrones is a Red Ryder air rifle

In A Christmas Story, all young Ralphie wants in the world for Christmas is a Red Ryder air rifle. After brief disappointment in which his parents subvert his expectation, he gets the gun. Unfortunately, when he goes to play with it, he shoots himself in the face (well, kind of) and then breaks his glasses. Still, when he goes to bed, he declares it the best gift ever.

All anyone could talk about this spring was the highly anticipated final season of Game of Thrones, but the last act went over like a BB pellet to the face. (Startling, undesirable, ultimately harmless.) Still, fans will tell you it’s the best show ever. — Shea Corrigan

Lionel Messi is an extremely generous check from your grandma

It’s the same every single year, to the point where you kind of forget how amazing it is, but in terms of what you’re actually getting, it can do things that no other gift can. Sure, it used to be part of an elaborate package and now it just comes tucked into a simple card, but the value is still there and it should be appreciated. Don’t forget to write your grandma a thank you note, and don’t forget to fully appreciate Messi, whether or not you think he’s the GOAT. — John Wilkinson

BoJack Horseman is that therapeutic self-help book you didn’t know you needed

When you first receive this kind of gift, your initial reaction is feeling shocked and possibly even insulted. This couldn’t possibly be for me, you think to yourself. But when you dive in, you find it to be charming and insightful. It’s laugh-out-loud funny at times and thoroughly heart-wrenching at others as you discover things about yourself. No one is claiming BoJack Horseman has all the answers, just as no self-help book can cure all that ails anyone … but damn it if this story about an animated anthropomorphic horse’s struggle with celebrity, depression, substance abuse, relationships and self-acceptance hasn’t blown away expectations for those who’ve given it more than a passing glance.   — Gerald Bourguet

Avengers: Endgame is a brand new iPhone

This is something that you’ve been waiting for forever to come out, and you’ve been counting down the days ‘til you could have it or see. Everyone’s been hyping it up, and it’s going to be bigger and better than the last one. Endgame certainly did blow past everyone’s expectations, and the iPhone 11 offered another powerful update to the long-running line. They’re exciting, they’re expensive, (and there’s a lot of them), but you love them either way. — Mia Johnson

The Houston Rockets are cash

Getting cash for the holidays is uninspiring, and nowhere near as exciting as receiving an actual gift. In short, it’s not everybody’s cup of tea. With that being said, it still gets the job done at the end of the day. James Harden and the Rockets’ ability to rack up regular season wins are a lot like getting a $20 bill in a Christmas card: Not everybody loves their style, but at the end of the day, it’s still a W. — Gerald Bourguet

The Mandalorian is a fuzzy blanket

Baby Yoda….that is the only explanation needed! — Carrie Bennani

The Pittsburgh Penguins are a sweater that accidentally got a bunch of holes in it

The Pittsburgh Penguins have been a constant playoff presence in hockey for years. The last time they missed the postseason was the 2005-06 season, a lifetime ago for some of us. This year, however, the team has sustained injury upon injury, to the point where their lineup each game looks like it was pulled out of a hat at random from across the NHL’s bottom six. This is certainly not the way Pittsburgh planned this season, much like how your aunt did not plan to have moths eat the sweater she worked tirelessly on all fall for you. The good news, though, is that Sidney Crosby may be able to patch the holes in the Penguins’ lineup through sheer force of will, though it may take some time. — Mary Clarke

Alabama is an Amazon gift card

Gift cards are what you get people when you don’t know what to get them. They’re also what you get people when you’re too lazy to get them a personalized or meaningful gift. It’s boring. It’s unoriginal. It’s been around forever. It’s definitely not exciting or something you rush to play with or use on Christmas morning. — Patrick Schmidt

The Oakland A’s are a rented video game

You know what’s fun? Opening up a gift. You know what isn’t fun? Being told that the gift is only yours for a few years, and then you have to give the gift away to the richest kid on the street. This is what it’s like rooting for the A’s. You have Marcus Semien, Matt Olson and Matt Chapman in your infield? Damn! Enjoy that, they’ll all be wearing pinstripes and underperforming in four years. — Matt Verderame

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