#raphael being a frustrated dog dad

[biographydivider]

A Very Silly ROTTMNT fic...

Uploaded for @acewithapaintbrush​  to lend strength to her arm at work today. Basically the context is that she sent me an ask about Donnie having a cat - only for me to find THIS FRAME after the fact;

THERE SHE IS!! So, naturally, she gets a story. I will write something plot-based with these bois, just getting used to their voices for now. Plus, character-based silliness is my brand.

“Donnie! Give us a status report!”

“This is ‘Man in The Chair,’ did I hear some chatter over the comms? Over.’

Raph growled in frustration, slamming his knuckles against the appropriately-punchable button on his chair’s armrest; the one that opened up communication with the lair. “‘Man in The Chair,’” he said, through gritted teeth, “this is…ugh, this is ‘RedHotWheels’. Do we have a status report on –”

“On the whereabouts of Repo Mantis and the repo’d Mystic Gemstones? Sure, suresure, let me just get that for you…and please remember to say ‘over’, ‘RedHotWheels’, it does so help with smooth communication. Over.”

“I hate you. Over.”

“I’m aware. Over.”

The ‘Man in The Chair’ protocol was a new idea of Donnie’s; he wondered whether having his entire tech arsenal at his disposal, rather than ‘just’ what he could fit in the Turtle Tank, would be more helpful than him being along for the ride.

“H’okay,” Donnie continued; ”So, based on the tracker I stashed away in the batch of Mystic Gemstones when it was being dropped off at the docks, and the fact that the city limits explosive device – Shopping Cart Protocol 2.0 – hasn’t been triggered yet, I can use the XYZD axies to calculate that Repo’s co-ordinates are….pffffbbt.”

Raph raised an eyebrow ridge as his brothers turned in their seats quizzically. “‘Pffffbbt?”

“Sorry; sorry. Error in transmission. What I meant to say was….ppffffffffft, pfft pfft pfftbbfffftt. Pleh.”

Raph suppressed a groan as he hit the breaks on the Turtle Tank. Any air of professionalism or dedication to the mission was suddenly gone; Mikey was giggling into his hands, and Leo was clambering out of his seat into his brother’s lap, hammering on the comms button, grinning like an idiot. Definitely not safe to drive.

“Donnie?” Leo asked. “Donnie, are you having a stroke? Donnie, speak to us!”

“I’m fine! Do you want the – stop it – do you want the status report or not? Pft. Over.”

“Oh, Raphael,” Leo said, twisting so he was lying across Raph’s knees, smirking up at him, “I think our dear brother is being attacked by some sort of malevolent force.” His voice trembled with swallowed laughter. “I think we need to turn on – snrk – we need to turn on the visuals, just to make sure he’s okay…”

“It’s not nice to embarrass your brother, Leo.”

“Oh, but it is such fun.”

“…yeah, yeah it is, isn’t it?” Raph grinned, turning on the hologram screen. A square of purple light shimmered into being just beside his elbow. “Donnie, you okay back…there?”

Donnie hadn’t noticed the hologram connection being turned on.  Because he was wrestling with a huge, fluffy, white cat as it perched on his shoulder. Mikey gasped with delight from his seat.

“Dr. FoofyMittens!”

‘Dr. FoofyMittens’ was a recent addition to the lair. Donnie had watched a marathon of Suave McQuiston movies last weekend with April and had become convinced that he needed a cat for the workshop; just like the villain, Professor Nef Arious had. So, one night, after a mission, he’d just…nabbed one off the street. Dad didn’t know yet. The boys had a feeling he wouldn’t approve. Eventually, she’d probably go live with April and Sunita. But, for now, the Mad Dogs had a mascot. 

Donnie wanted to call her something dramatic, like Glacier or Vehemence or Donatello Junior. Mikey wanted to call her FoofyMittens. After an hour of begging, Donnie had relented, as long as she had a title to ‘make her more respectable.’

“C’mon, stop it,” Donnie was whispering, back straight and stiff with awkward nerves, as the cat butted her head against his cheek. “I’m trying to work, here.”

Dr. FoofyMittens was unrelenting.  The boys watched as she rubbed her cheek, then her chest, then her entire side against Donnie’s face; her eyes closed in bliss, leaving a trail of pale white hairs in her wake. Donnie sputtered, face scrunched up as he held in a sneeze.

“Pffftbttbffffttttbtbffff. Gross, grossgrossgrossgross…ugh, Professor Nef Arious never had this problem. Foof, get down, get down right now young lady –”

Dr. FoofyMittens jumped down from Donnie’s shoulder; directly onto his keyboard. A string of capitalised gibberish leapt up onto the screen, along with a .gif of a panda standing on its head and a commissioned piece of art of Atomic Lass reclining on a chaise lounge in a purple satin jacket and goggles. Leo erupted, slipping to the floor of the tank with a shriek of laughter. “Ohmigosh, it’s too good, it’s too good…make it stop, Raph, my sides can’t take it…”

“Foof – stoppit, you little –” Donnie scooped up Dr. FoofyMittens in his arms, pulling his face back as far as he could from the wriggling, fluffy tornado attempting to escape his clutches. “You have a PhD, this is very unprofessional behaviour --!”

“Why,” Leo sniggered, wiping away tears that were forming at the corners of his eyes, “did he think this would be a good idea? We have the worst track record with pets.”

“Kinda harder to flush a cat than a fish, Leo,” Raph replied, kicking his cackling brother fondly in a weak attempt to gain control of the situation. Onscreen, Donnie braced his foot against the desk, pushing the Genius Chair, himself and the cat backwards from the console, spinning in a tight circle as they moved.

“Pleh. Plehplehpleh, fur in my mouf…ewwwwww, eww eww eww.” Donnie stretched out his tongue and plucked a particularly long hair off the end of it. In his arms, Dr. FoofyMittens made herself comfortable and began to purr.

“D’awwwwww!” Mikey crooned from his seat, leaning over the back of his chair for a better view, eyes shimmering. “She looooooves hiiiimm.”

“She loves chaos,” Raph replied, tilting the hologram projector so his little brother could see better, “that’s what she loves.”

“I was of the impression,” Donnie was growling, scrubbing his arm over his face, “that creatures from the family Felidae were – for the most part – solitary and independent.” He lifted Dr. FoofyMittens up so she was at eye level, her paws dangling in the air. “Are you an outlier? Huh? Are you a rogue piece of data? Speak, foul demon!”

The cat butted her forehead against Donnie’s. He sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. “Okay, fine. We can cuddle. Later. I’ll even put on Suave McQuistion and the Chaise Lounge of Fate. April says Libras Never Prosper is the best one, but we know better, don’t we?”

“Mow,” Dr. FoofyMittens replied.

“That’s right, we do.” Donnie tapped Dr. FoofyMittens on her little pink nose and set her down on the floor. “Now begone, Daddy has to work.”

“Daddy?!” Leo howled from the floor, clutching his sides. “Ohmigosh, best hologram call ever!”

“No!” Mikey cried from his seat, eyes suddenly full of unshed tears. “It’s adorable, leave him alone! He’s learning to express his feelings! Raph, tell him!”

Raph said nothing; he was too busy biting his knuckles, trying not to laugh. Donnie pushed his chair back against the console, his face suddenly puce with embarrassment. “You…you heard all of that, I assume.”

“Awwwww, Foooofykins and her daaaaaaaaaaddyyy…” Leo cooed, pushing his face right up against the hologram. “Whosa little cutie baby kitty, ooochiecooochiecoochie…”

“Nardo, enough…”

“D’awwww, big bad Donatelly loves his widdle kittycat, yesh he dooooesss...”

“Leonardo, you are such a --!” Donnie caught himself; fists raised by his head, voice about to crack. He cleared his throat, rearranging his features into something (barely) calmer as he knotted his hands together over his knee. “Hey, Leo; you do know Foof’s collar has a built-in camera, don’t you?”

“WhoooosacutiepatootiewiddleFooofyyyyy…”

“And it sends everything she sees to a stream on my laptop?”

“Why would I care about that?” Leo asked, propping himself up on Raph’s legs, a sharp elbow digging into his brother’s kneecap.

Donnie leaned back in his chair, suddenly smirking, one long leg crossed over the other. “Because you were the only one alone with the cat two nights ago. Me and Mikey were at April and Sunita’s, Raph was training in the tunnels, and Dad was doing whatever shady things a middle-aged ratman does on a Wednesday night in August. And, well,” Donnie produced a remote control, gesturing sardonically at the screen with it, “I might have saved some of the footage.”

The hologram suddenly cut to a first-person shot of Dr. FoofyMittens walking around the lair. After a second, a skateboard rolled into view; along with a very recognisable set of green legs clad in dark blue socks. The cat let out a ‘mrrp’ of surprise; then, the legs spoke.

“Hiiiiiii, Fooofyyyy!” Leo-on-the-screen said, leaning down so his face was in the shot, only inches from the cat’s. “Whatcha up to? You wanna keep your Uncle Leo company? Well, I guess I could give you some…”  Dr. FoofyMittens was suddenly lifted off the floor as Leo straightened, holding her at arm’s length. “Kissies!”

The next thirty seconds was an intense close-up of Leo’s lips, as he gave FoofyMittens a series of loud, smacking kisses. In the tank, Raph and Mikey’s heads snapped towards their brother, who was turning a fun shade of pink himself. “Ahaha,” Leo laughed sheepishly, splaying his hands out in supplication. “I mean, c’maaahhn…she’s a cute cat, what can I say?”

In the background, the footage continued. “You wanna learn to skateboard? Donnie thinks he’s so smart; but he didn’t teach a cat to skateboard, did he? No he didn’t, nooo hee diiiidn’t. There we go, an’ I’ll just give you a lil’ push...and the Grand Skateboarding Champion of 2022 is, drumroll please: Dr. FoofyMittens!! Wooo! And the crowd goes wild…aaahhhhh, ahhhhhhh…Dr. FoofyMittens we looovvee yooooou…”

“Eateth-ing thy words yet, ‘Uncle Leo?’” asked Donnie’s disembodied voice. “I can keep going if not; there’s also the footage where you put one of your spare masks on her, held her up to a mirror and sang –“

“No no, we’re all good here!” Leo leapt back into his seat, pretending to push buttons and adjust his seatbelt. “Let’s go, Repo Mantis is gonna get away! Donnie, you got those stats yet? No time to waste, y’know…heheh …heh.”

“Be sure to come back soon, gentlemen; Dr. FoofyMittens misses her, ahem, ‘kissies’…”

“Shut up, Donnie.”

[remmushound]

Curse of the Clan part 64!

Tags: @scentedcandlecryptid @selfindulgenz 

The streets were alive with the presence of yokai, potentially thousands of them, all gathered where there would normally be humans. They didn't seem to be doing much of anything other than simply mulling around at a slow and casual pace, some of them in small groups happily chatting while others were on their own but just as happy. A few had even taken to sunbathing in the streets, sprawling themselves out on the hot asphalt to soak in the sun; the yokai didn't seem to discriminate between road and sidewalk when it came to exploring, treating it all instead as one big walkway.

“What’s going on?” Raphael asked, his lips pulled down in a frown. “Why are all the yokai out?”

Michelangelo was beaming ear to ear, eyes brighter than gemstones, “There’s no humans in the city! Well— except for April and Casey— so the yokai can come up and enjoy the sunshine! It’s a first for a lot of them; actual, warm sunshine!”

Donatello focused his goggles on the streets below, flicking from yokai to yokai to yokai. A mother rabbit trying to coax her four tiny babies out of the shadows they cowered in. An old kappa holding their beak to the sky with their eyes closed under the bliss of sunbeams. Two young avians wrestling, tumbling about in the streets much to the laughing delight of several nearby yokai.

“They seem to be enjoying themselves.” Donatello commented. “The weather is quite nice.”

“Come on!”

Michelangelo once more grabbed his brothers and urged them onward, down into the streets where they melted into the crowd of yokai without a second glance being cast their way, because they were normal in the eyes of all yokai and nothing to judge. The tight, suffocating nature of the crowd quickly thinned when they reached central park, where the yokai were just as plentiful but more spread out. Some of them had split off into tight family or friend groups, while others were wandering around, either going group to group searching for someone to embrace them into their fold or simply wandering to enjoy the day.

All around them wafted the lovely scents of grilling meats and the alluring, fruity temptation of beautifully assembled fruits. Multiple families shared each of the grills, as there wasn’t enough to go around, and mingled together to enjoy the combined meals. Michelangelo was quick to grow frustrated as his family slowed to gawk in awe at the different groups, Raphael practically drooling over the meaty spendor while Leonardo was more interested in trying to identify all the different yokai, and Donatello was furiously taking notes on their behavior and how they interacted.

Eventually they made it through the crowd and to the only grill that wasn’t already surrounded by dozens; this grill only had three people. Cassandra was setting out plating and snacks far too eagerly, fussing around to make sure it was perfect while April and Sunita were together at the grill. Raphael licked his chops to collect slobber that threatened to drip, so overwhelmed with all the different, meaty options that he got dizzy looking between all of them.

April laughed; she was in a beautiful sundress, her hair done up in braids with beads woven in between, tight against her scalp. She picked a shrimp from the pile and tossed it through the air at Raphael, who caught it in his mouth with a great big SNAP!

“That’s all, big guy.” April said, smirking as she pointed the meat fork at him, “Gotta wait for it all to be done.”

Raphael whined like a dog denied a second treat. Leonardo and Donatello both came up on either side of April to take advantage of the wafting aroma, breathing in deeply and then sighing out slow.

“Smells great!” Leonardo beamed, leaning his head on April’s shoulder.

“Damn well better.” April said confidently, “My mama taught me well!”

“She sure did…” Donatello drooled.

April produced two more shrimp and popped them into either of the twins mouths, making both melt with the euphoric juices.

“We saved the damn world!” April spun around, showing off her kiss-the-cook apron, “I’ll be damned if we ain’t gonna enjoy it!”

Leonardo's eyes wandered until they fell upon a familiar lump of gray in the river, drifting lazily by on an inflatable raft; a speck among a sea of visitors swarming the waters.

“Dad?” Leonardo gawked, and upon his realization all his brothers came to realize the same.

The brothers split apart from the girls and cautiously made their way down the rocks to the rivers shore, Raphael reaching out to snag Splinter’s raft so he couldn’t drift away from them. Splinter opened a lazy eye and snorted not unlike a horse disturbed from its slumber.

“Can’t a rat sleep in peace?” He grumbled.

Leonardo’s attention was drawn away from Splinter as motion under the water proved far more interesting. A tilt of his head and a refocus of his eyes brought him to concentrate instead on the beings under the water; aquatic yokai were swimming along under the rafts, creating a lazy-river of sorts for those floating on the top. They didn't seem to mind it at all.

“Where’d you get the raft, pops?” Raphael asked, giving a faint laugh, “Doesn’t look like any of ours.”

“That’s because it’s not.” Splinter said, reaching to tweak Raphael’s hand in such a way that he had no choice but to let go of the raft. The rat sank back into the plastic happily as he started to drift off again. “I traded it in exchange for stories! Yokai are the best!”

Four confused sets of eyes blinked and turned to Sunita for answers.

“Yokai are really big on trade.” Sunita said with a bright smile.

Michelangelo became suddenly aware of a gentle force tugging at his pants and, upon looking down, he was met with a tiny squid yokai. At first he didn't know what to do, but when he recognized the wide-eyes and child-like features, he kneeled to meet the child’s height.

“Hi!” Michelangelo said.

The child said nothing. He shoved something small and sticky into Michelangelo’s hands; a snail. A very small one.

“Ohh… thank you.” Michelangelo said, because he didn't know what else to say. “Domo arigatou.”

Still, the child said nothing. Instead, he pointed at the paints on Michelangelo’s chest and then at his own chest. It took a second before Michelangelo sucked in a gasp of realization and practically squealed his joy.

“Donald, I require my paints!” Michelangelo held out his snail-free hand out to Donatello.

Leonardo smirked and elbowed Donatello’s side. “He requires his paints.”

Rolling his eyes, Donatello obliged the request and he pulled the emergency paint kit out from his battle shell, passing it over to Michelangelo. The box turtles wasted no time in quickly ushering the yokai child to a nearby bench, a series of excited, high-pitched chirps sounding from him. From there, Raphael, Leonardo, and Donatello all split apart in search of a venture of their own in the yokai-filled park.

Raphael didn't get far before he heard a voice calling his name, and just as soon he was surrounded by powerful arms that heaved him up with no effort at all. Raphael’s initial instinct was to fend off an attack, but when the scent of the unseen Yokai came to him, he recognized it and began to laugh.

“King!”

King wrapped a massive arm around Raphael’s neck to keep him in a choke hold so he could repeatedly noogie the broad head. Raphael was eventually able to pull free, twirling around and tossing himself at King for a hug.

“I see my blessing worked.” King seemed to be practically glowing under the warmth of the sun, his scales a beautiful and vibrant mix of orange and red instead of the normal brown.

“Y-yeah, yeah!” Raphael nodded, a little breathless. “Yeah. Thanks again for that.”

“Was that your family?” King nodded back to where Raphael and his clan had just been gathered.

“Yeah— that’s my clan! And that’s my dad there on the river— he’s the rat.”

King nodded with a thoughtful hum. “I see your family is just as… colorful as mine. I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for them if they’re ever on my side of the Hidden City.”

Raphael nodded an automatic nod with both hands on his hips. “Yeah I uh… thanks. I appreciate that.”

“INCOMING!”

Raphael looked up, confused at the shout and even more confused when he saw a fish falling right at him. King snatched the falling projectile before it could get very far, snaring it in his maw and giving a thankful grunt toward Koya as she flew once more away. King looked down at Raphael and held out the fish to him, which was still thrashing about trying to free itself from the yokai’s relentless grip.

“Oh— no thank you…” said.

King shrugged. He shifted down onto his belly, using his massive hands to pin the fish while he ripped its head clean off and gulped it down. The decapitated fishes body still struggled, which went without a bother from King as he lumbered away and over to Tang Shen who was soaking up the sun. Head bowed, he offered the rest of the fish to her and she accepted, eating it with just as much ferocity as her adoptive son.

Splinter crawled onto shore as his raft came around the bend of the lazy river once more, dragging it along with him as he went to Raphael’s side, staring at the cat and dragon duo with much the same expression as Raphael.

“Are they friends of yours?”

“Uh… that’s King. He gave me my blessing. And uh… that’s his mother Tang Shen.”

“Tang Shen huh?” Splinter eyed the cat curiously as she sucked the flesh from the bone and proceeded to rasp her tongue over the fishes skeleton to lap up any remaining flavor “What. A. Woman.”

[bytheangell]

Grow as We Go

Flufftober Day 26: Garden (Read on AO3)

“I’ll kill whoever did this to you,” Raphael says, walking out of the small tarp-covered area of his yard by the fence along the property line. He’s holding a long section of vine he had to cut from one of the tomato plants inside, now dying and riddled with holes from being eaten through. “I’m going to kill them for you, don’t worry. I’m going to find every son of a bitch who ever hurt you, and their parents, and their children, and I’m going to end each of their lives individually until--”

“Oh thank god,” comes a relieved voice from the fence. Raphael startles, looking up to see the figure of his next-door neighbor peering over the top of the fence. “Sorry, I just, uh, overheard your increasingly horrifying threats and thought you might secretly be a mob boss someone crossed or something. But you’re just talking to a plant.”

Raphael glares down at the tomato plant again, buying himself enough time to neutralize whatever expression he might have on his face over his mortification of the first encounter with the guy next door (outside of exchanging names and a few courteous ‘good morning’s in passing) being this.

“Sorry,” Raphael says, but in a ‘sorry you overheard’ and not a ‘sorry I said it’ way. He has to vent his frustrations in some way that isn’t snapping and ripping up the tomato plant entirely, after all. He’ll be the first to say he never gets embarrassed, but if he did this would come pretty damn close.

“It’s all good. I’m just glad you aren’t trying to wipe out generations of human beings over there,” Jace says. “Bug problem?”

“Yes,” Raphael grumbles. “I don’t even like tomatoes, but Simon loves them, and I’m trying to grow him a garden for his birthday and failing miserably.”

“I’m actually really good with plants, and I had a little greenhouse at my last place. I could come over and see if I can help?” Jace offers.

Raphael immediately shakes his head. Not only does he not want to take advantage of his neighbor’s kindness, but he also very vividly recalls the conversations with Simon about how Simon may have … other interests regarding Jace for them. Once they all get to know each other a little better, of course. Raphael doesn’t want to ruin that potential by abusing Jace’s kindness now… and he was actually hoping Simon would be the first of them to make any actual connection with Jace. Raphael is, to say the least, not great at winning people over.

“No. That’s way too much work, I couldn’t-” Raphael starts, but Jace is already waving his refusal off.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure one day I’ll need help with something and you can pay me back, isn’t that how neighbors work?” Jace smiles. “Anyway, I actually kinda miss it, it’d be nice to make sure I haven’t lost my touch.”

“Alright,” Raphael agrees finally, hoping Simon will forgive him for taking a chance on this, and praying he doesn’t mess it up. “Maybe you can start by figuring out what keeps eating the goddamn tomato plant?”

---

Jace wasn’t just lying to get invited over, he’s actually very good at gardens and plants in general. He starts to go over in the early mornings while Simon is sleeping in to help Raphael with natural bug repellant tips, homemade fertilizer tricks, and even pruning and general upkeep techniques that Raphael never saw on any of the websites he looked into.

And yeah, okay, maybe Jace is helping in large part because of his ridiculous crush on Simon. And yeah, okay, maybe this is an increasingly terrible idea, because the more time he spends around Raphael and his particular dark, sarcastic humor, the more he realizes that he and Raphael get along really well. Like, really well - they’re similar in a lot of ways, which normally doesn’t work out for him, but in this case, Jace finds himself completely enamored with the guy who can match his sarcasm with dry wit and clever comebacks without missing a beat.

This is extra unfortunate because this all started because Jace wanted to help do something nice for Simon, who seems like a really nice guy from the few times he met him, one of those ‘you just want to see him happy because he deserves it’ sort of people. Now Jace has to admit his crushes on his neighbors have now quickly evened out from Simon-heavy to a solid 50/50 split between them… not that it matters.

Because Simon and Raphael are very much in love, that much is obvious from everything Raphael says about them, and Jace is not a homewrecker.

Jace is, however, apparently a gardener now. He settles for being happy to help with a gift for Simon and ease Raphael’s frustrations in the process, even if his relationship with his neighbors will never be anything more than casual, neighborly friendship.

Going over once a day (“Just to keep an eye on things, look out for signs of other invasive bugs before they get out of hand, you know.”) is absolutely not necessary, but Raphael doesn’t call him out on it. In fact, Raphael’s been giving him a lot of compliments lately, from the new set of suits he’s been wearing to work to the piano playing he heard through Jace’s open window the other night. There’s also the fact that Raphael is often already there waiting for him in the morning, and if Jace didn’t know any better he’d think Raphael almost seemed eager for their daily interactions. Jace just chalks it up to being eager for the garden to work out - for Simon and all.

Speaking of Simon - it doesn’t take long for Simon to figure out when Jace is normally outside, either to meet with Raphael or to go to and from work. At first, it’s just casual greetings and small talk, but soon he’s prying for information, and Jace smirks.

“Oh no you don’t. If you think a little eyelash batting and puppy dog eyes is going to get me to spill Raphael’s secrets, you’re sorely mistaken,” Jace says, shaking his head.

Simon pouts, and it’s infuriatingly adorable. Jace has to admit to himself that under any other circumstance the look would be more than enough to get Jace to tell Simon anything. Then Jace catches his eyes lingering a bit too long on those pouting lips - and he’s pretty sure Simon does, too.

“I have to go,” he says, tearing his gaze away quickly and turning to go back inside without another word.

The next day Jace catches Simon trying to sneak around to Jace’s side of the fence in the hopes that he could see anything inside the tarp-covered area of Raphael’s makeshift greenhouse. Jace goes outside quietly, moving silently up behind him.

“Isn’t this trespassing?” Jace asks, causing Simon to jump a foot into the air.

“It, uh, isn’t what it-” Simon starts guiltily.

Jace shakes his head. “Your birthday isn’t too far away. I promise the surprise is going to be well worth the wait. Also, I think Raphael might actually murder you if you peek now, and then murder me if he finds out I let you.”

Simon laughs at that, but to his credit, he also backs away from the fence and towards Jace. “Wow, you already know him so well,” Simon jokes, but Jace can’t tell if the hint of jealousy he thinks he hears there is real or imagined.

“Not really,” Jace is quick to insist, and now he can’t read the expression on Simon’s face at all. In a moment of panic, Jace decides the best course of action is to try and spend more time getting to know Simon, too, instead of just spending less time with Raphael. “Hey, do you want to come in and grab a drink?”

Simon looks surprised by the sudden turn in the conversation, but he nods finally, a small smile spreading across his face as he accepts the offer.

---

The inside of Jace’s house has a sort of classic elegance to it that Simon hadn’t been expecting - but maybe it was influenced by the baby grand piano in the living area that Simon knows, even if it looks older and probably refurbished, had to run Jace a couple grand at least.

“May I?” Simon asks, motioning to it, and Jace nods.

“Go ahead,” Jace says as Simon takes a seat, and messes around with a few simple chord progressions just to test it out. “Raphael told me you play - that and guitar, right?”

Simon nods, playing a small portion of a song he knows from memory. “Yeah. Nothing like what you can do, though,” Simon admits, glancing at the sheet music in front of him that he can only barely begin to process.

Jace shrugs, wandering off to the kitchen to make drinks, raising his voice to continue talking as he does. “My dad was kind of a hardass about learning. I almost gave it up a little while back, actually. But I decided to pick it back up recently.”

Simon can tell there’s a story there, but he doesn’t pry when Jace keeps the details vague.

“Well, for the sake of my frequent dinner serenades, I for one am glad you did,” Simon says, getting off the piano bench and joining Jace in the kitchen.

They talk for a while, and Simon doesn’t tell him that Raphael’s already told him a lot of this, not sure how Jace would react to the idea of the two of them talking about him as much as they do sometimes. They talk about new things, too, like music and how they both came from growing up in cities, and Simon’s pop culture references often go right over Jace’s head but by the end of the night Jace has a small notepad page filled with bands and movies to check out.

“Seriously, I have so many DVDs, if you ever want to borrow something just come over and ask,” Simon insists for the 3rd time as he leaves. “We can even have movie nights!”

“I will,” Jace promises, and Simon sincerely hopes he’ll follow through on that.

It isn’t the last time they have drinks together. In fact, ever since that first invitation Simon has been strategically placing himself outside when he knows Jace is around at night, striking up a casual conversation, and getting an invitation to come in for a drink if he wants that’s turned into just a standard nightly nightcap. Each time he sits closer to Jace on the sofa as they talk, each time his lingering touches on Jace’s back, or arm, or somewhere more or less harmless, linger a little bit longer.

Two nights before his birthday, Simon practically sat in Jace’s lap while they talked, and he’s pretty sure his hand rested on Jace’s thigh for a solid 20 minutes without either of them acknowledging it around their easy conversation about the first Star Wars movie which Jace just watched, at Simon’s insistence.

“Raphael, he’s wonderful,” Simon whines, throwing himself down on the bed dramatically after he gets home. “He watched Star Wars for me,” Simon adds as if that fact alone proves his point.

“I know, Si. And we haven’t exactly been subtle, but every time I think he’s finally leaning into the idea he pulls back twice as far. But I’m positive he feels something there, you should see how red his ears get when I compliment him,” Raphael says, laughing a little.

“Raph! Be nice!” Simon says, smiling.

“I’m just afraid asking him now will make him double-down on pulling away,” Raphael admits. Simon sighs and the conversation drops for the night.

When Simon’s birthday rolls around the reveal of the thriving garden is better than he ever expected. It’s beautiful, he’s already excited to get to help take care of it now, and he’s wanted to grow his own cooking ingredients for ages! It’s perfect, not that he expected his gift from Raphael to be anything but perfect, but the garden really is above and beyond.

But there’s one thing that would set the night over the top, and Simon decides to risk everything for the chance of it. He heads over to Jace’s house to knock on his door.

---

The last person Jace expects at his door is Simon. He’d resigned himself to a night in alone, perhaps flicking through Tinder for a hookup to distract himself from the fact he’s missing his daily interactions with Raphael and Simon way more than he should be now that it’s Simon’s birthday and the gardening project is over.

“Simon? What are you doing here?” Jace asks, surprised. “It’s your-- I mean, Happy Birthday! But also shouldn’t you be celebrating?”

Simon nods. “I should. I am! But we wanted to know if you’d like to come over and celebrate with us?” Simon asks. “We’re cooking with veggies from the garden, and you can stay for drinks… or the night if you wanted.”

The night? There’s absolutely no way that means what he thinks it means, but they live next door to each other, why would Jace spend the night otherwise?

Jace shakes his head. They probably just feel bad for him being over here alone again, but he’d been alone plenty before they became friends, he’s used to it.

“I couldn’t impose-”

“You aren’t. We want you there. Both of us,” Simon emphasizes, glancing to where Raphael leans against the front door of his own house, waiting. Simon appears to brace himself before reaching out and taking Jace’s hand in his, giving it a small squeeze, and then very quickly shifting up onto his toes to give Jace a quick kiss.

Dozens of moments replay in Jace’s head during the split-second of that kiss - casually flirty comments and lingering touches he wrote off as just being overly-friendly as they happened because he’d mentally tossed Simon and Raphael in an ‘unavailable’ box. But now…

“Oh,” Jace says, the realization dawning on him. He can feel his heartbeat quicken in his chest. Chancing a quick glance over at Raphael Jace sees him unmoved, watching expectantly and entirely unbothered by the fact that Simon just kissed him.

“You don’t have to, obviously. You could just come for dinner? Or-” Simon is starting to ramble in Jace’s prolonged silence.

“I could,” Jace starts, his brain still racing to process everything that just clicked into place but not wanting Simon to think his silence is a ‘no’ because it definitely isn’t. “Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting… yeah, that sounds good. That sounds great, actually,” Jace finally manages and watches Simon practically melt with relief.

“See, I knew asking you now wouldn’t scare you away!” Simon says victoriously. Jace is still too shocked to do anything other than laugh at that before Simon continues. “You can come over now if you want! We picked so many great things from the garden, and Raphael picked up some things from the market, and...”

Jace closes his door and follows an eagerly chatting Simon across their lawns to where Raphael waits, excited for whatever tonight - and hopefully the days that follow - might bring for the three of them.

[chicagocityofclans]

Chiara Ricci → Allison Scagliotti → Vampire

→ Basic Information 

Age: 137

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Pansexual

Birthday: July 9th

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Religion: Spiritual

→ Her Personality (one to two paragraphs)

→ Her Personal Facts

Occupation: Hema Academy Teacher 

Scars: None

Tattoos: None

Two Likes: Reincarnation and Stories from older supernaturals.

Two Dislikes: Quill Pens and Asshole Skeptics

Two Fears: Becoming a shadow and Losing her parents

Two Hobbies: Tarot Reading and Learning

Three Positive Traits:  Ambitious, Sociable, Flexible

Three Negative Traits: Opportunistic, Blunt, Argumentative

→ Her Connections

Parent Names:

Gianna Ricci (Adopted Mother): Gianna lost her daughter when she was changed and it permanently plagued her with grief. When Angelo found Chiara, he thought it was the perfect solution to his mate’s never ending sadness. When she met Gianna it felt like something clicked, like she’d seen her somewhere before. Gianna fell over herself and was incredibly welcoming. Chiara settled in well with her new family and was given everything she needed to excel as a vampire and with her education. Gianna and Angelo moved to Chicago to help found the Hema Academy and took their fledgling daughter with them.

Angelo Ricci (Adopted Father): Angelo saw Chiara in a night market and nearly fell over. She was the spitting image of his mate’s deceased daughter whom she mourned constantly. He went up to Chiara and introduced himself. They met a couple more times before he explained his offer. An eternal life of luxury filled with world travels and education. All of which were far beyond anything Chiara would achieve on her own with 11 siblings. She accepted his offer and was changed as a present for his wife. He and Gianna welcomed her with open arms and went straight to work teaching her how to be a vampire as well as enriching the little education she already had. He and Gianna were asked by Scorpius Getta to become teachers at the newly founded Hema Academy and so they all packed up and moved to Chicago 87 years ago. 

Sibling Names:

Unnamed Siblings (11 brothers and sisters): Chiara was the 3rd eldest of 12 children. She was a caretaker for many of her siblings but had no desire for it. She wished to see the world and become educated and resented having to take care of her siblings. Chiara rarely thinks of them and has forgotten their names. 

Children Names:

None.

Romantic Connections:

Averill Sookram (Ex-boyfriend): Averill was definitely a part of her bad boy warlock phase that her parents disapproved of. He was always fascinating and had incredibly interesting stories. Despite breaking up, they still can talk as friends. 

Fiona ‘Fi’ Marz (Longtime Crush): If Fi was ever interested in her, Chiara would take her up in an instant. She doesn’t think they’d be a particularly good couple long term, but they would have fun. 

Audo Wilhelm (Ex-Boyfriend): Audo was the first person Chiara connected with in Chicago. They began talking when she found out his power and had long conversations about reincarnation, tarot, and being an oracle. It was a good 10 years before she spoke to him again after they broke up, but they're mostly ok now. 

Platonic Connections:

Scorpius Getta (Cool Uncle): Chiara heard lots of stories from her parents before she ever met Getta, which has taken away like 90% of his fear factor. Gianna has wild stories of their time spent together when they were younger.

Raphael Caron (Good Friend): Raphael is one of the most fun members of the seethe. He has an incredibly fascinating mind, and the two can talk about any subject for hours. He created “blood pops” for her 100th birthday as a surprise present.

Aleksander Mazur (Friend): Aleksander is a good guy; she knows that she can be a lot, but he is always willing to listen. Aleksander was the first person to take her out and let her experience being a vampire in her own right, rather than as someone’s daughter.

Richard Fili (Friend): Fili is a party animal and has had a poor influence on Chiara. He invited Chiara out the first time, and made her feel safe enough to keep on going. On the rare occasion she has alone time with him, she sees the effect that so many years, especially alone, has had on him. The anger and pure exhaustion he has over being alive is strong under the party personality.

Dan Prior (Student): Despite being nearly 120, Dan is still in Chiara’s class. He wasted the first 20 years of his vampiric life crying over his dead lover that he became behind quickly. He has connected with Rachel though, and seems to be helping her push through.

Aisling Rois (Friend): Aisling and Chiara catch up when they have time. They often work opposite schedules which can make it difficult to see one another. Chiara jokes that Aisling always makes the best drinks. 

Morana ‘Ana’ Vickors (Fascinated): Ana is one of the older vampires in the seethe, that she thinks would tell her about her life. She’s been attempting to get to know her, but they don’t often have chances to speak.

Chen Ying Yue (Student): Chen is doing well with her studies. She’s very social and excels at bringing other student’s out of their shells. Despite being so young, Chen is working on her Master’s degree as well as her vampiric training. 

Farrokh Alvi (Friendly): Farrokh has lauded her with tales from when he and Petra belonged to their previous seethes and the daring escapades they went on. He’s a major reason for her mild fangirling over the older vampire woman. He also speaks Italian very fluently, which is a nice break from the general English spoken around the seethe. 

Rachel Sloane (Student): Chiara had a dream upbringing as a vampire and has always felt enraged when she hears the numerous stories of abuse and mistreatment of other young vampires. She has tried reaching out to Rachel in class, though the younger woman hasn’t responded much. 

Petra Chak (Inspiration): Chiara has always had an academic mind, and hadn’t considered any physical training for protection; she was a vampire now so surely it wouldn’t have been a problem. But then she saw Petra in action during one of her first nights in Chicago and was blown away. She has received some lessons after becoming an Underling, and wants to continue them. 

Lestat Marcoux (Friendly): Chiara was immediately interested when Lestat  mentioned that he did homebrewing, and asked if she could watch and learn what he was doing. The two began talking and spoke about his past in France which she also found fascinating. 

Hostile Connections:

Sadie McCoy (Uptight): For being not much older than Chiara, Sadie always acts uptight. They’ve gotten into a few spats and now she avoids Getta’s assistant.

Chai Gates (Frustration): Chiara struck up a conversation with Chai about mysticism and reincarnation in general. It turned into a pretty intense argument, that one or the other brings up each time they see each other. It’s fun at times to try and pull up evidence to convince Chai she’s right, but her derision over the idea wares on Chiara’s nerves. 

Pets:

Picco (Chihuahua): She asked her dad to name her puppy when she got him a few years back and he named him tiny. He was a rescue dog that she got after a bad break up. 

→ History (paragraph(s) on background) → The Present (paragraph(s) on how the character connects to the plot)

[beatlejuice64]

Destiel: Season 5 - A catalog of Supernatural episodes

A catalog of each episode in Supernatural that features scenes related to Destiel. This includes scenes between Dean and Castiel, scenes with other characters that address their relationship with each other, and scenes that allude to Dean’s bisexuality.

Season 5 Summary Analysis:

Castiel is frustrated that his rebellion against heaven to help Dean ended in failure. He spends time with Dean while Sam is away and they become close friends. Cas develops a strong respect and affinity for Dean, and he resents that Dean gives in to his fate after trying so hard to help prevent it from happening. Cas takes Dean’s resignation as a personal slight and acts like a spurned lover. Throughout the season, Dean exhibits slightly homophobic behavior, especially with regard to Cas. 

My interpretation: Cas has developed unrequited romantic feelings for Dean. Dean cannot reciprocate because he’s still closeted about his bisexuality, and he’s hyper focused on saving the world, not on his personal happiness.

5.01 Sympathy for the Devil 

Dean is bummed to find out Cas was killed by an archangel: “Cas, you stupid bastard.” 

Cas comes back and saves Sam and Dean from Zachariah, marking their ribs so that they’re hidden from angels. Dean is pleasantly surprised to see Cas again.

5.02 Good God, Y’all! 

Cas is back with renewed vigor because he feels like God is on his side. Cas is frustrated that Dean failed to stop Sam from raising Lucifer: “I killed two angels this week, my brothers. I’m hunted. I rebelled, and I did it—ALL of it—for you. And you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world, and I lost everything for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself.” 

Dean lets Cas borrow his necklace to find God.

5.03 Free to Be You and Me 

Cas comes to Dean for help to find Raphael. They seem much closer than they were before, but there is some tension between them (possibly sexual?): “Cas, we’ve talked about this. Personal space.” 

Cas resents Dean’s thanklessness: “I need your help because you are the only one who’ll help me.” 

When Cas and Dean go visit the sheriff’s office, Dean fixes Castiel’s tie for him. Cas learns people skills from Dean as they’re on the case. 

Dean takes Cas to a brothel: “There are two things that I know for certain: One, Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you are not gonna die a virgin, not on my watch.” 

Cas is very uncomfortable in the brothel and accidentally upsets a hooker. When they leave, Dean is cracking up: “It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed that hard. It’s been more than a long time—years.” 

Cas is upset to learn from Rafael that God’s not around. He also takes a page from Dean’s book and dishes some trash talk: “Today you’re MY little bitch.” 

Dean consoles Cas: “There were times when I was looking for my dad when all logic said that he was dead. But I knew in my heart that he was still alive. Who cares what some ninja turtle says, Cas. What do you believe?” 

Cas makes sure Dean is ok before leaving. Dean appreciates having someone to connect with other than his brother: “I’ve had more fun with you in the past 24 hours than I’ve had with Sam in years, and you’re not that much fun.” 

5.04 The End 

Castiel waits four hours by the side of a road so Dean can sleep: “I’ll just... wait here, then.” 

Zachariah sends Dean 5 years into a dystopian future where Dean never said yes to Michael. Future Dean is a hardened soldier. Future Cas is a hippie sex guru. The two appear to have a history of closeness: “I thought you’d gotten over trying to label me.” 

Future Cas laughs at past Dean’s sarcasm: “What? I like past you.” 

Future Cas seems to butt heads with future Dean but goes along with his plans anyway (possible because they have built up trust over time). 

Past Dean calls out future Dean for lying to his people and singles out Cas: “You mean you’re gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder? Cas, too?” 

Back in the past, the waiting Cas grabs Dean right before Zachariah can get him. Dean is glad to see him: “Don’t ever change.”

5.06 I Believe the Children Are Our Future 

Cas wants to kill the antichrist, Jesse, but Sam and Dean want to help him. Cas tries to kill Jesse and gets turned into a plastic toy. Dean asks Jesse to return him to normal: “Truth is, he’s kind of a buddie of mine. Is there any way you could turn him back? He’s a good guy. He was just confused.”

5.08 Changing Channels 

Dean fanboys over Dr. Sexy, MD. He seems to have a crush on Dr. Sexy, even moreso than Dr. Piccolo or Dr. Wang. He knows everything about the character, including what kind of shoes he wears: “I swore part of what makes Dr. Sexy sexy, is the fact that he wears cowboy boots, not tennis shoes.” 

Dean forces Gabriel to release Cas: “Cas, are you ok?”

5.11 Sam, Interrupted 

Dean talks with a therapist (who is actually in his head) and we find out he’s never been in a long-term relationship (more than 2 months).

5.13 The Song Remains the Same 

Cas meets with Anna on behalf of the Winchesters to protect them from her. Cas regrets turning her in. Anna comments on his determination to protect the Winchesters: “You’ve changed.” “Maybe too late, but I have.” 

Cas sends the Winchesters back in time at great personal risk to himself. 

Dean demonstrates faith in Cas: “He’ll wake up. He’s, you know, tough for a little nerdy dude with wings.”

5.14 My Bloody Valentine 

Dean is “not feeling it this year” for picking up a girl on Valentine’s Day, and Sam is concerned: “It’s when a dog doesn’t eat. That’s when you know something’s really wrong.” 

Dean calls Cas and they just stand there staring at each other for a minute. 

The naked Cupid makes Dean feel uncomfortable, but he can’t stop checking him out. 

Famine causes Cas to start eating burgers and Sam to crave demon blood. Dean is amused by Cas’s hamburger eating and calls him the hamburglar. Cas comments on Dean’s lack of hunger: “You’re saying you’re just well-adjusted?” “God no. I’m just well-fed.” 

Famine doesn’t affect Dean because he’s given up on life and feels dead inside. Cas tries to comfort Dean when they lock Sam in Bobby’s panic room for detox: “You know, it’s not him in there, not really.” 

5.16 Dark Side of the Moon 

Sam and Dean are killed and sent to heaven. Cas guides them to Joshua, and he is extra touchy when talking to Dean. 

Cas is upset to learn that God has left and returns Dean’s necklace. Dean throws the necklace away because he‘s lost faith in his brother.

5.17 99 Problems 

Cas shows up drunk because he’s despondent about God’s absence. Dean gives Cas some pain pills for his hangover, and he commiserates with Cas: “I’ve been there. I’m a big expert on deadbeat dads, so yeah, I get it. I know how you feel.” “How do you manage it?” “On a good day you get to kill the Whore [of Babylon].” 

5.18 Point of No Return 

Dean decides to say yes to Michael, but Sam and Cas stop him. Cas is pissed off that Dean would do this and keeps glaring at him: “Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them.” “Alright, you know what? Blow me, Cas.” 

Cas brings Adam to Bobby’s, and they stick Dean in the panic room. Dean seems surprised at how angry Cas is and taunts him with a wink: “Cas, not for nothin’, but the last person who looked at me like that, I got laid.”

Dean says he’s tired and doesn’t believe in Sam. When Cas goes to talk to him, Dean blows him away with the blood sigil and escapes. When Cas finds Dean, he beats him up in an alley: “I rebelled for this? So that you could surrender to them? I gave everything for you, and this is what you give to me?” 

Dean taunts Cas to kill him, but Cas doesn’t. When Dean comes to, he’s still irreverent: “Word to the wise, don’t piss off the nerd angels.”

Sam tells Dean he believes in him. Cas continues to verbally burn Dean, and Dean looks visibly taken aback by it: “You’re gonna take on 5 angels?” “Yes.” “Isn’t that suicide?” “Maybe it is, but then I won’t have to watch you fail. Sorry, Dean. I don’t have the same faith in you that Sam does.” 

Cas carves a sigil into his chest to help Sam and Dean save Adam. Dean ends up not saying yes because he didn’t want to let Sam down.

5.21 Two Minutes to Midnight 

Cas apologizes to Dean for being so hard on him: “You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.” 

Cas saves the Winchesters from Pestilence, despite having lost his powers. Cas is super bummed that most of his powers are gone, but he believes in the Winchesters: “You and Dean have a habit of exceeding my expectations. He resisted Michael. Maybe you could resist Lucifer.”

5.22 Swan Song 

Cas falls asleep in the back seat and Dean comments: “Aw, ain’t he a little angel.” 

After Lucifer gets away, Cas and Bobby are fatalistic and Dean refuses to accept it. When Dean heads for the cemetery, Cas is concerned: “I just want you to understand. The only thing that you’re gonna see out there is Michael killing your brother.” “Well then I ain’t gonna let him die alone.” 

Cas is inspired by Dean’s love for Sam and shows up to help: “Hey, assbutt!” 

After Sam jumps in the pit, Cas heals Dean and Dean says, “Cas, are you God?” “That’s a nice compliment, but no. Although I do believe he brought me back, new and improved.” 

Dean asks Cas what he’s gonna do now: “Return to heaven, I suppose. With Michael in the cage, I’m sure it’s total anarchy up there.” “So, what? You’re the new sheriff in town?” “I like that, yeah. I suppose I am.” “Wow. God gives you a brand new shiny set of wings and suddenly you’re his bitch again.” “I don’t know what God wants. I don’t know if he’ll even return. It just seems like the right thing to do.” “Well, if you do see him, tell him I’m coming for him next.” 

Dean is angry, but Cas tries to help him see the situation as a success and reminds him what it was all for: “He helped. Maybe even more than we realize.” “That’s easy for you to say—he brought you back. But what about Sam? What about me, huh? Where’s my grand prize? All I got is my brother in a hole.” “You got what you asked for, Dean. No paradise, no hell. Just more of the same. I mean it, Dean. What would you rather have? Peace or freedom?”

[mollykittykat]

The Cupboard Game pt. 10

AU in which Splinter evaded the contents of the mutagen canister and ended up raising the turtles as a human.

No real warnings apply. Mostly family fluff/action-adventure with a teeny hint of angst.

(Also available on A03: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10471893/chapters/30131685)

None of the stolen keys looked like they would fit the lock. Splinter felt he should’ve expected that much, but luckily the cage was held shut with a simple padlock, which he knew he could easily undo with the pick he had the forethought to carry with him. He kneeled down and went to work, the trapped turtles rambling on about an ugly man and his weird friends. They asked questions of why and how, to all of which Splinter answered with requests for silence “I told you, I’ll explain later” he whispered, working to undo the cogs as quickly and efficiently as he could.

“They said they were going to sell us to a lab!” Donatello said “They’re pretty mad at you!” Leonardo interjected “They offered like… a billion dollars to who could beat you! Did you fight them? Are y’going to fight them?” “Fight bad guys?” Mikey asked, eyes turning starry with awe “this mean you’re a superhero Papa?” “No no. Just a normal hero” Raphael answered his younger sibling, nudging him with his elbow “Superheroes have to have super powers dummy!”

“Look, will you please be quiet for a moment?” Splinter whispered back, tone far harsher than it had been before “If you’ll just stop asking questions and let me focus-”

Suddenly there was a click, but it didn’t emanate from a lock finally loosing it’s hold on the cage door, it was the click of a revolver from the outskirts of the ring behind Splinter. He froze, another flurry of clicks slowly surrounding him as barrels of guns peaked out of the shadows all around the fighting ring. Lights came on one by one, revealing the once empty space was now filled with men who’s weapons were fixed upon their one target in the center of the arena. Yoshi stood up and turned around, quick to realize his situation. In the back of his mind he’d had a bad sense about what he was walking into from the beginning, but his desperation had silenced his natural instincts.

There was a familiar crumb-clogged laugh. The obese form of Don Visioso sat just behind his line of hired gunmen, shoving another handful of popcorn into his mouth as his lackey’s infiltrated the ring from all sides and apprehended their target.

Despite the brief disappearance of the doorboy, the warehouse was opened up from the inside by the time 8:15 rolled around, and the swarm of thugs entered with loud anticipation and heavy indecisive footsteps like a pack of feral dogs. The world within was dim as the air filled with a shallow layer of smoke that further obstructed the view of the audience. There were a few lamps illuminating the back where a makeshift bar sold watered down alcohol and overpriced cigarettes, but most of the group eventually found their way to the edges of the spotlighted ring, like they had been turned from excited wolves to wandering moths. Of course the light wasn’t the main attraction, but rather the man standing calmly and quietly within the ring, feigning confidence even while his wrists were fastened to one of the four corners by a set of handcuffs.

He didn’t bestow the group with any sort of response, though he was forced to move his head slightly to the side in order to dodge glass bottle that was thrown his way by a drunken attendee. To his luck there was enough sportsmanship in the unruly crowd to put a stop to that, and the convicted assailant was immediately ushered out in a flurry of shoves and blows, knocking him about until with a final toss from the bouncer he was sent stumbling to the ground outside of the warehouse. The doors were shut behind him, and he groggily rolled over onto his bruised stomach and tried to get to his feet. Somewhere in the midst of his dizzy efforts, a large and cold foot pressed him back into the dirt as someone- or something- walked over him. They were from a pair of newcomers, utterly unfamiliar in appearance, well dressed but off in their arrival time. The drunken outcast squinted through his haze, and noted that one of them held something shaped vaguely like a gun.

“Hey!”

The two suited men halted and turned around at the drunkard’s shout. Their faces were identical and the gun they held was strange and unearthly, looking more like the prop to an 80’s scifi film than a legitimate weapon. Seeing this, and taking in the unsettling oddities through his alcoholic fog, the outcast simply squinted and muttered something unintelligible about ‘no violence’ as he stumbled away. The suited men glanced at each other for a moment, and looked at their instrument.

“The Mutant Scanner brings us to the place that is known as this place” one said to the other

“Kraang, mutants are not to be pursued in the places known as the places that are filled with that which are known as ‘witnesses’” his partner replied

“Protocols do not forbid that which is known as a ‘brief examination’ of the mutant location”

“Kraang is correct in that assertion”

“Then let us proceed with caution.”

Thus, the gun was folded up, and the two monotone men went in. They hadn’t really any solid indication of what they were getting into, though they had done enough research on the subject of human behavior to recognize an underground fight when they saw one. The shackled captive standing in the spotlight raised no questions with them, as the object of their interest was not at all the fight itself.

They scanned the room slowly and methodically, trying to indicate their vague unidentified target, which was a good deal more difficult now that their machinery wasn’t allowed to be put into use. However they suspected they’d know their target when they saw it, and one of them was certain they spotted the mutant when they noticed a lighted balcony just off from the ring, wherein a hideous thing sat between two armed men, shoving two ice-cream cones into his mouth at once. “Some mutated species of blob fish” was the Kraang’s guess, but his partner was quick to disagree.

“Negative. That which is falsely labeled a ‘mutant’ is just what some humans look like”

The Kraang further examined the fat man, staring through it’s expressionless gaze until he could confirm his partner’s correction. "That is... that which is known as... unfortunate”

No sooner had they made their criticisms did the fat man called for the unruly room’s attention. The identical newcomers paid momentary attention to the announcement, hoping it would aide them in their search, but they quickly lost interest. They cared for neither the reputation of the captured human nor the offer of money to whoever could succeed in beating him, all they wanted was the mutant their tracker had picked up on. Then something new caught their attentions: a the small glint of something hanging from the rafters high above. They both stared, their mechanical eyes zooming in on the darkened ceiling until through the shadows they saw the outline of a cage, and a tiny pair of green eyes looking down at them.

“Raph they’ll see you!” Leonardo scolded, pulling his brother back from the edge of the bars. Raph returned this tug with a sharp shove that caused their cage to sway. “I wanna see Dad fight!”

“Don’t worry Leo” Don muttered from his end of the cage, where he prodded his tiny finger into the padlock, working his brain to try and figure out his father’s progress in undoing it “it’s dark up here. If we get out of the cage now, we can prob’ly sneak down without being seen!”

“An’ fight the guys fightin’ Dad!” Raph added, going right back to watching what was going on below. By now things were finally getting exciting. The cuffs holding Yoshi in place had been undone, leaving him free to combat the first opponents climbing up over the ropes and into the ring. Leonardo wisely gave up on dragging his brother away, afraid of shaking the cage again, their perilous position up in the rafters only adding to his instinctive caution. “How do we get down once the cage is open?” “I dunno…” Donatello replied, jostling the door testily “but maybe we can be sneaky and get it unlocked first?”

“M‘kay. How do we get the door unlocked though?”

“I dunno!” Don suddenly snapped, his broken focus causing him to loose patience “Dad used a lock pick, but the bad guys took it!”

Leonardo narrowed his brow, frustration and fear tempting him to cry. Just old enough to have a sense of pride, he instead decided examine each of his brothers to see if any of them needed comforting. Raph was still trying to catch a glance at his fighting father, Donatello struggling to figure out how to undo the padlock, while Mikey… who had been oddly silent this whole time… continued gnawing on the thoroughly cleaned chicken bone as he tried to catch a peak of the pandemonium from over Raphael’s shoulder. With a frustrated humph Leo yanked the bone from his youngest brother’s mouth, and was about to throw it through the bars when he paused in realization. He looked the slobbery bone over, finding that without the sinews and the meat clinging to it it looked thin and pointy, like a caveman tool.

A spark of hope alighted in his tiny chest, and he hurried to Donatello and held it out “Will this work?” Donnie turned and looked at the bone his brother held. He appeared skeptical, but he took the object with a sigh and a nod before he  wriggled the end of the bone into the padlock, trying to see what gears he could configure with his measly tool.

Hamato Yoshi had walked right into a trap, and he was still trying to determine how much of that was bad luck or just his own stupidity. However, as was the pattern, the terrible twist of fate was peppered through with small instances of good luck, just enough to keep his hopes alive.

The throwing blades Yoshi had hid on his person were overlooked when he was frisked, the knives small enough to evade the searching fingers of those more accustomed to unveiling hidden revolvers. He had also convinced Don Visioso to allow him the keep the chest armor after informing him of his unfortunate collision with the car. He argued that if he went down too quickly it would make for a terrible show, as well as create bad press given the value placed on his defeat. Visioso, thankfully overconfident, fulfilled his simple request, but only after testing Splinter’s claim with a commanded strike to the ribs, causing him to buckle in pain before the gunmen took hold of him once more and dragged him into his restrains. There was undoubtably a feeling of indignity when Splinter was locked into the handcuffs, but it paled in comparison to the sinking helplessness he felt when the turtles were taken away once again, lifted high into the rooftops where their cage shackled to the rafters.

So here he was, his children dangling thirty feet above him, weaponized goons positioned all around to ensure he didn’t pull another stunt, the fat man himself sitting at a safe distance away, stuffing his face as he watched his captive fight for his kids like this was some sort of cheap gameshow.

But Yoshi still drew breath, and the turtles were still in his sights, thus… though the situation was bleak… there was still a chance of the situation somehow turning out okay in the end.

So he fought with all his might, forbidding his lack of sleep and the pressing injuries to impair him. He wasn’t sure if he was fighting just as well as he ever had, or better than ever due to the situation, but the audience sure seemed to grow more and more excited with every blow he delivered and ever fighter he cut down. He was determined to not allow himself to get distracted, but he could only follow through only to a certain extent. There was one moment in the middle of the fifth round when he saw something that nearly placed him on the receiving end to a solid blow to the temple There was a man climbing the walls. No... two men... one on each side of the room. They were mostly hidden in darkness but he could see them, spider-like as the scaled the vertical wall, well dressed, identical, and utterly unnerving, especially given the fact that they seemed to be heading straight for the rafters. Or, more specifically, the cage dangling from the rafters far overhead.

[toldnews-blog]

New Post has been published on https://toldnews.com/world/india-man-to-sue-parents-for-giving-birth-to-him/

India man to sue parents for giving birth to him

Image copyright Nihilanand

A 27-year-old Indian man plans to sue his parents for giving birth to him without his consent.

Mumbai businessman Raphael Samuel told the BBC that it’s wrong to bring children into the world because they then have to put up with lifelong suffering.

Mr Samuel, of course, understands that our consent can’t be sought before we are born, but insists that “it was not our decision to be born”.

So as we didn’t ask to be born, we should be paid for the rest of our lives to live, he argues.

Mr Samuel’s belief is rooted in what’s called anti-natalism – a philosophy that argues that life is so full of misery that people should stop procreating immediately.

This, he says, would gradually phase out humanity from the Earth and that would also be so much better for the planet.

“There’s no point to humanity. So many people are suffering. If humanity is extinct, Earth and animals would be happier. They’ll certainly be better off. Also no human will then suffer. Human existence is totally pointless.”

Image copyright Nihilanand

A year ago, he created a Facebook page, Nihilanand, which features posters that show his images with a huge fake beard, an eye-mask and anti-natalist messages like “Isn’t forcing a child into this world and forcing it to have a career, kidnapping, and slavery?” Or, “Your parents had you instead of a toy or a dog, you owe them nothing, you are their entertainment.”

Mr Samuel says he remembers first having anti-natalist thoughts when he was five.

“I was a normal kid. One day I was very frustrated and I didn’t want to go to school but my parents kept asking me to go. So I asked them: ‘Why did you have me?’ And my dad had no answer. I think if he’d been able to answer, maybe I wouldn’t have thought this way.”

As the idea grew and took shape in his mind, he decided to tell his parents about it.

Mr Samuel says he has “very loving relations” with his parents (both of whom are lawyers) and that his mum reacted “very well” and dad too “is warming up” to the idea.

Image copyright Nihilanand

“Mum said she wished she had met me before I was born and that if she did, she definitely wouldn’t have had me,” he says laughing and adds that she does see reason in his argument.

“She told me that she was quite young when she had me and that she didn’t know she had another option. But that’s what I’m trying to say – everyone has the option.”

In a statement, his mother Kavita Karnad Samuel said it was unfair to focus on a “sliver of what he believes in”.

“His belief in anti-natalism, his concern for the burden on Earth’s resources due to needless life, his sensitivity toward the pain experienced unwittingly by children while growing up and so much more has been ruefully forgotten.

“I’m very happy that my son has grown up into a fearless, independent-thinking young man. He is sure to find his path to happiness.”

Mr Samuel says his decision to take his parents to court is only based on his belief that the world would be a much better place without human beings in it.

So six months ago, one day at breakfast, he told his mother that he was planning to sue her. “She said that’s fine, but don’t expect me to go easy on you. I will destroy you in court.” Mr Samuel is now looking for a lawyer to take up his case, but so far he’s not had much success.

Image copyright Nihilanand

“I know it’s going to be thrown out because no judge would hear it. But I do want to file a case because I want to make a point.”

His Facebook posts have also attracted a lot of responses, “some positive, but mostly negative” with some even advising him to “go kill yourself”. He has also had worried mums asking him what would happen if their children see his posts.

“Some argue logically, some are offended and some are offensive. To those abusing me, let them abuse me. But I also hear from many who say they support me but can’t say this publicly for whatever reasons. I ask them to come out and speak up,” he says.

His critics also say that he’s doing this to get some publicity.

“I’m not really doing this for publicity,” he says, “but I do want the idea to go public. This simple idea that it’s okay to not have a child.”

I ask him if he is unhappy being born.

“I wish I was not born. But it’s not that I’m unhappy in my life. My life is good, but I’d rather not be here. You know it’s like there’s a nice room, but I don’t want to be in that room,” he explains.