#rasa speaks

[smallcrystals]

flash stopped saying "nonsense" and substituted it for "horseshit" and it enrages sunset every time

[exponentialb-zukas]

ever had to drive Rocket to a Phight? how did that go?

Awkward and quiet most of the time, but it's not in away where I'd be furious at him. I cant control the kid's life.

I only nagged him, considering the fact of how reckless he is with those rockets. No matter how many times I tell him off, it barely goes through that skull of his.

[sysig]

Satisfaction may incur additional fees [P1 | P2 | P3] (Patreon)

[meadowlarksabove]

(pretend i'm on six's blog tee hee)

A song that reminds me of your muse! (Open)

[mayfriend]

bonjour, je voudrais relire ta fanfiction tabula rasa mais je ne la trouve pas. tu l'a supprimé? désolé si tu ne comprends pas le français.

I didn't delete it, it's just now only viewable to people who have AO3 accounts like the rest of my works, to stop them being scalped to train AI. If you make an account, you'll be able to view it again!

And now, translated poorly into French by Google Translate:

Je ne l'ai pas supprimé, il n'est pour l'instant visible que par les personnes possédant des comptes AO3 comme le reste de mes œuvres, pour éviter qu'ils ne soient scalpés pour entraîner l'IA. Si vous créez un compte, vous pourrez le consulter à nouveau!

[writing-reference-redux]

I felt like sharing my collection of Latin phrases that may make good fanfic or fanart titles or inspiration. Some of the translations may be off, so you might want to double-check them before use. Also, I used capitalization liberally so you might also want to check where capitalization is actually indicated.

Ab Intra (From Within)

Acta Est Fabula (The play has been performed)

Acta Sancti ___ (The Deeds of Saint ___)

Ad Undas (to the waves / to hell)

Advocatus Diaboli (Devil's advocate)

Aegri Somnia (a sick man's dreams / troubled dreams)

Alea Iacta Est (the die has been cast / point of no return)

Apologia Pro Vita Sua (defense of one's life)

Caetera Desunt (the rest is missing)

Cedere Nescio (I know not how to yield)

Damnatio Memoriae (damnation of memory / denying someone ever lived)

De Nobis Fabula Narratur (their story is our story)

Decessit Vita Patris (died before their father)

Diem Perdidi (I have lost the day)

Dies Tenebrosa Sicut Nox (a day as dark as night)

Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim (some day this pain will be useful to you)

Dulce Est Desipere In Loco (It is sweet on occasion to play the fool)

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus (while we live, let us live)

Dux Bellorum (war leader)

Ex Umbra In Solem (from the shadow into the light)

Festina Lente (hurry slowly)

Fortis Cadere, Cedere Non Potest (the brave may fall, but can not yield)

Fui Quod Es, Eris Quod Sum (I once was what you are, you will be what I am)

Graviora Manent (heavier things remain / the worst is yet to come)

Haec Olim Meminisse Iuvabit (one day, this will be pleasing to remember)

Hic Mortui Vivunt (here the dead speak)

Hinc Illae Lacrimae (hence those tears)

Hodie Mihi, Cras Tibi (Today it's me, tomorrow it will be you - of death)

In Ictu Oculi (in the blink of an eye)

In Somnis Veritas (in dreams there is truth)

Inter Spem Et Metum (between hope and fear)

Lapsus Memoriae (slip of memory)

Luctor, Non Mergor (I struggle, but am not overwhelmed)

Lux Ex Tenebris (light from darkness)

Media Vita In Morte Sumus (In the midst of our lives we die)

Memento Mori (remember that you will die)

Memento Vivere (remember to live)

Morior Invictus (I die unvanquished / death before defeat)

Mundus Senescit (the world grows old)

Nemini Parco (I spare no one - death)

Nitimur In Vetitum (we strive for the forbidden)

Non Ducor, Duco (I am not led; I lead)

Non Omnis Moriar (I shall not all die / part of me will survive beyond death)

Nunc Scio Quid Sit Amor (now I know what love is)

Oderint Dum Metuant (let them hate, so long as they fear)

Omnia Mutantur (everything changes)

Onus Probandi (burden of proof)

Opera Posthuma (posthumous works)

Ophidia In Herba (a snake in the grass)

Pax Aeterna (eternal peace - a common epitaph)

Primum Non Nocere (first do no harm)

Pulvis Et Umbra Sumus (we are dust and shadow)

Quis Leget Haec? (who will read this?)

Quod Periit, Periit (what Is gone is gone)

Res, Non Verba (deeds, not words)

Respice Finem (consider the end)

Scientia Et Sapientia (knowledge and wisdom)

Seculo Seculorum (forever and ever)

Sed Terrae Graviora Manent (but on earth, worse things await)

Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (if you want peace, prepare for war)

Sic Infit (so it begins)

Sic Vita Est (such is life)

Silentium Est Aureum (silence is golden)

Sine Nomine (without a name / author unknown)

Sola Dosis Facit Venemum (the dose makes the poison)

Solvitur Ambulando (it is solved by walking / simple tests find solutions)

Stamus Contra Malum (we stand against evil)

Succisa Virescit (cut down, we grow back stronger)

Sum Quod Eris (I am what you will be - of death)

Summum Bonum (the supreme good)

Summum Malum (the supreme evil)

Sunt Lacrimae Rerum (there are tears for things)

Sunt Omnes Unum (they are all one)

Tabula Rasa (blank slate)

Transire Benefaciendo (to travel along while doing good)

Tu Fui Ego Eris (I was you; you will be me - of death)

Ubi Amor, Ibi Dolor (where there is love, there is pain)

Ultima Forsan (perhaps the last / sundial quote "perhaps your last hour")

Usque Ad Finem (until the end / fight to the death)

Vacate Et Scire (Be still and know)

Vi Et Animo (with heart and soul)

Victoria Aut Mors (victory or death)

Vincit Qui Patitur (he conquers who endures)

Vita Ante Acta (a life done before - of reincarnation)

Vivere Militare Est (to live is to fight)

Vox Clamantis In Deserto (the voice of one crying in the wilderness)

There are also some longer ones that may not make good titles because of their length, but are still worth inclusion:

Aut Simul Stabunt Aut Simul Cadent (they will either stand together or fall together)

Flectere Si Nequeo Superos, Acheronta Movebo (if I can not reach Heaven I will raise Hell)

Forsan Et Haec Olim Meminisse Iuvabit (perhaps even these things will be good to remember one day)

Igitur Qui Desiderat Pacem, Praeparet Bellum (therefore whoever desires peace, let him prepare for war)

In Regione Caecorum Rex Est Luscus (in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king)

Minus Malum Toleratur Ut Maius Tollat (choose the lesser evil so a greater evil may be averted)

Quem Deus Vult Perdere, Dementat Prius (whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad)

Ubi Sunt, Qui Ante Nos Fuerunt? (Where are they, those who have gone before us?)

Virtus Junxit Mors Non Separabit (that which virtue unites, let not death separate)

[chinesefirethorn]

THE KAGES AND THEIR GREEN BEASTS

But a modern day AU take with the whole family and the ninken! Ningame is chilling at home, thank you very much. :) This thing took much longer to sketch and color than I anticipated. Hahhhh hahahaha.

Headcanons and easter eggs after the cut

RasaDai: Is it crack? Yes. Is it impossible? Yes, yes, they’re both dead. Do I still ship them? HELL YES. My old old man yaoi (crack) rarepair. Rasa inherits the nearly bankrupt firm from his deceased bastard of a father, and had to devote his whole life to work. He loses Karura after she gives birth to Gaara, and now he’s a single dad whose grown up kids hate his guts. Can this old man still find love with an older DILF? Except he’s definitely not going to wear that green tracksuit. (also that’s Suna designer wear on Rasa and Pakkun’s carrier)

KakaGai: These boys. These men. Husbands, rivals, friends, eternal loves. Kakashi with his jorts and baby pink crocs 😂 (thanks @urieskooki for the color pick) with ANBU gibbets. Gai with Daytime Tiger-inspired shoes! I love having Bisuke perching on Gai and adopting his sparkles ✨. Kakashi giving Gai the ‘I’m pinning you down later’ look. Also, if you really want to know what Kakashi’s reading, check the tags. ;)

GaaLee: My loves, my babies 🥰 Okay I gave Gaara his Shippuden pants bands and his shoes are gourd inspired. He’s excited to finally get to hold a puppy and promptly carries the meanest-looking one (Urushi, surprised, gives a tentative tail wag). In the meantime, Lee has their snacks and drinks ready ❤️ The man is smitten with Gaara. He is composing love songs for him as we speak. He’s also rocking dragon-print kicks (I used my own dragon design from the CNY card).

The Ninken: Ok some headcanons. All the dogs were adopted by Kakashi, except for Pakkun who was his dad’s pet before he died. Pakkun prefers to ride in his carrier than to walk in his older years. Akino, being partially blind, sticks close to his emotional support dog (Pakkun). Shiba is giving puppy eyes to Rasa in case he can get pets. Guruko being a naughty baby running between people’s legs. Bull is just chilling with his new collar—Kakashi replaced the spikes with pompoms for comfort. Uhei likes Lee best and stays close to him.

This image wouldn’t have been completed without encouragement and feedback from @egregiousderp @bayheart @urieskooki Glugchat and the good people who enable me at the KakaGai discord. Mwah love you all.

[oathkeeperoxas]

TOP GUN / Icemav fic recs part 7

New year, new rec list for icemav fics!!

Rec list 1 here

Rec list 2 here

Rec list 3 here

Rec list 4 here

Rec list 5 here

Rec list 6 here

Take It or Leave It by @icezansky

If he’s honest with himself (and he rarely is, when it comes to this) a secret part of him can admit what he won’t ever say aloud: he’d get on his knees for Pete “Maverick” Mitchell for far less than the promise of quiet weeknights.

I'm usually a hard sell on AU fics, but this one just absolutely nailed it. Both Ice and Mav are excellently characterised, the smut is super hot, and it just leaves me wanting for more.

the cure i know (that soothes the soul) by @eighteaseven

Mav had been leaning against the open bar when he heard some twenty-something kid ask his friend who the old man was. And with a smarmy, disrespectful little smirk, the kid tilted his head in Mav's direction and answered, “Oh, him? That’s Kazansky’s wife,” and his friend laughed at the answer. - Or; Maverick figures out what it means to live as the partner of the Secretary of the Navy.

Old! Men! In! Love! I love fics that focus on the two of them figuring out how to shape their lives around each other, what they're willing to prioritise and what they're willing to give up and what they aren't, so this was just such a great treat for me personally <3

Separation by @elwenyere

Ice has a security deposit box at a storage facility under a false name. There isn’t much in it - no tax records or family heirlooms - just three letters from a boy he met at summer camp, a blurry Polaroid of a man’s back stretched out against motel sheets, and a copy of Nan Goldin’s The Ballad of Sexual Dependency.

Rolling around in this one forever. I love fic that leans into the historical ins and outs of the eras that a canon is set in, and this does that so well, blending in the characters to the historical backdrop of the 80s. Elwen's writing is so raw and beautiful, if you haven't read her works before, I can only heartily recommend that you start now.

Kings of the Air by @fabula-rasa

Fighting and fucking: two things he did extraordinarily well. How could he have known what the effect would be when you combined the two?

This one really sets the tone for what icemav fic should be. Truly grateful that this one got posted for us all to enjoy. The ups and downs feel very in character, and are all so very worth it.

What You Don’t Know by chemm80

Maverick finds Iceman handcuffed to his bed. He has a hard time getting over it.

This plays in the universe of the above fic, and does it beautifully. The expansion of the world and the characters is so good - I love how Ice and Mav speak to each other and how they revolve around each other here.

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother by V_Evergreen

Five meetings between Thomas Kazansky and Ethan Hunt.

I love this fic so much!!! The interactions between Ice and Ethan, Ethan and Mav, and Mav and Ice all hit so good. The dialogue is spot on and each chapter is absolutely perfect, and usually very funny. Great combination <3

Granted by copacet

One of the people Maverick had never managed to get along with was his previous commander, a clash of personalities which had worried Iceman greatly at first but which turned out to be a boon: when the time had finally come, the man agreed to transfer Maverick to Iceman’s own command with obvious relief. “You want that insubordinate sonuvabitch?” he’d said. "Hell, better you than me." Iceman agreed. (Or: a decade after their first meeting, five times Maverick requests Iceman's permission to do something, and five times Iceman gives it.)

Ice and Mav are so sweet here, and so very in love - the back and forth between them is so good, the little moments that make up a relationship depicted softly and perfectly.

3am by @icemankazansky

Iceman Kazansky took "me time" how and where he could get it.

Carly's fics are always so full - full of life, full of breadth, full of movement and heart. This fic manages to say so, so much about Ice, and about Ice and Mav's relationship as well. I hold it very close to my heart.

sweet nothings by @dannykaffee

Ice takes Mav on a little trip.

Mav gets treated well by his boyfriend!! You love to see it!! Strawberries, cream, a get away to a lake, what else can you ask for.

take any form by elizabethgee

Ice gets a call that Maverick has gone MIA.

The hurt/comfort here is so good! Ice thinking that Mav is in danger, that he's MIA and has to hide how he's feeling from everyone, yeah that's the good stuff.

Morning Cuddles by SharaRaizel

A 5+1 fic of IceMav through the years. 5 times Maverick had to put effort into keeping Iceman in bed and 1 time he didn't.

What it says on the tin. Just the two of them being sweet and soft and good <3

[talonabraxas]

The Secret Knowledge—Purusha-Prakriti in the Cosmic Operation

His works, his thoughts have been devised by her, His being is a mirror vast of hers: Active, inspired by her he speaks and moves; His deeds obey her heart’s unspoken demands: Passive, he bears the impacts of the world As if her touches shaping his soul and life: His journey through the days is her sun-march; He runs upon her roads; hers is his course. ||14.4||

A witness and student of her joy and dole, A partner in her evil and her good, He has consented to her passionate ways, He is driven by her sweet and dreadful force. ||14.5|| His sanctioning name initials all her works; His silence is his signature to her deeds; In the execution of her drama’s scheme, In her fancies of the moment and its mood, In the march of this obvious ordinary world Where all is deep and strange to the eyes that see And Nature’s common forms are marvel-wefts, She through his witness sight and motion of might Unrolls the material of her cosmic Act, Her happenings that exalt and smite the soul, Her force that moves, her powers that save and slay, Her Word that in the silence speaks to our hearts, Her silence that transcends the summit Word, Her heights and depths to which our spirit moves, Her events that weave the texture of our lives And all by which we find or lose ourselves, Things sweet and bitter, magnificent and mean, Things terrible and beautiful and divine. ||14.6||

Her empire in the cosmos she has built, He is governed by her subtle and mighty laws. ||14.7|| His consciousness is a babe upon her knees, Her endless space is the playground of his thoughts, His being a field of her vast experiment; She binds to knowledge of the shapes of Time And the creative error of limiting mind And chance that wears the rigid face of fate And her sport of death and pain and Nescience, His changed and struggling immortality. ||14.8||

His soul is a subtle atom in a mass, His substance a material for her works. ||14.9||

His spirit survives amid the death of things, He climbs to eternity through being’s gaps, He is carried by her from Night to deathless Light. ||14.10||

This grand surrender is his free-will’s gift, His pure transcendent force submits to hers. ||14.11||

In this description of the Sankhya metaphysics poetry might look somewhat thin but it holds another plain descriptive charm, charm of bareness; there is another fascination in it, its own well composed beauty, saundarya, its own serene yet tranquil essence, rasa, a deportment that has the quality of bringing wideness of the spirit itself. From a spiritual point of view the description is of the secret knowledge that Aswapati has to have if his concern is dealing with the cosmic issue, this creation opening to the higher possibilities that must enter into it. The Soul is at the back of everything and the job of Nature is to prepare this world, full of anguished mortality, to receive the immortal gifts of greatness, of light and love and sweetness and power and knowledge and joy. Let us read Sri Aurobindo’s Triple Brahman from the Upanishads. (pp. 45-50) ‘Love is a Cosmic Force’ Alex Grey

[emeraldracer]

These writers don't pull the punches. I've been thinking about how Armand keeps throwing in tiny little Latin phrases whenever he speaks.

Greek philosophy, something he would learn as a human, and still uses when he's feeling clever. Devastating if you ask me, and also loaded. Making this guy talk about kids' development, are you joking? Or is it the sleep of an infant? Tabula rasa.

[smallcrystals]

sci twi: it begins with an "L", you know, the "L" word

sunset, flash and timber: 

sunset, flash and timber: lesbians? 

sci twi: NO GUYS WE'RE LOST 

[fake-protagonist]

Jika apa yang kau impikan tak terjadi sesuai keinginan kau, maka senangilah setiap yang terjadi, barangkali takdir itulah yang terbaik menurutNya.

Lambat belum tentu buruk, gagal dalam percubaan juga tak bermakna gagal selama-lamanya, so what if you came last in the run? At the end of the day, kau sampai juga pada titik penamat.

You go according to your own pace, not your peers, jalan hidup kita tak sama, kalau rumah kita dibuat dari kaca jangan sesekali bandingkan rumah kita dengan rumah yang diperbuat oleh bata.

Bersyukur is the keyword. Percayalah bila kau sampai pada titik Qana’ah, kau akan rasa yang apa kau kejar selama ni, sebenarnya tak bawa kau kemana pun selagi dalam hati kau tak kenal rasa syukur.

And speaking of a parents doa, tak semua anak seberuntung itu, nama je ada mak ayah, tapi belum tentu keduanya ataupun satu diantara dua yang benar-benar melangitkan doa untuk anak-anaknya, maka beruntunglah kalian, yang masih ada mak-ayah, yang selalu sudi melantunkan doa tanpa kenal erti jemu.

Kerana diluar sana, masih ramai yang mencari arah tuju hidup ini, tanpa doa mak-ayah.

[thepunkmuppet]

have you thought about anyiles because I have Thought About Anyiles. strap the fuck in guys

first question. why does anya like xander?? like obviously anybody can be attracted to anybody, that makes perfect sense and is fine, but WHY does she love him and pursue a relationship with him?? she’s not actually a teenager, they have literally nothing in common! he makes it very very clear that he doesn’t understand her at all, not to mention constantly belittling and undermining her. when he tries to be “helpful” and teach her social skills and cues, he only does it because it embarrasses him, not to actually help her understand, and is just so fucking condescending and rude!!!! (can you tell that autistic/neurodivergent-coded anya in relation to the way xander treats her makes me mad??)

basically, regardless of how much I just don’t really like it, I genuinely never understood why that relationship ever even happened.

anya and giles however. it’s not necessarily my favourite ship in the fandom as it is, but the idea of what the show would have been had it been canon instead of xanya makes me love it more and more by the second.

let’s talk about canon moments. they have a connection! when they bicker, buffy compares them to her divorced parents, he calls her “dear” at one point for literally no reason, and the biggest one is of course tabula rasa. sure they pieced together the context that they ran the shop together and then just ran with it, assuming they were a couple, but tara and willow were fully attracted to each other and seemed to somehow know that they had a connection, as did xander and willow. xander and anya barely even speak to each other, while anya and giles fall into the role of a couple so easily, kissing passionately without even breaking a sweat

so just think about an alternate version of the show, where instead of liking xander for absolutely no reason, anya pursues giles.

they are both incredibly knowledgeable on demons and history, they both have crazy evil pasts, they both have dry senses of humour, they’re both way more powerful than they come across. and just the poetry of it - giles was the one to destroy her necklace and essentially curse her with humanity. him being the one to make her fall in love with humanity and want to be human again is so FUCKING BEAUTIFUL! and just the idea of exploring his trauma around jenny, unwillingness to love again, etc.

also ik it makes perfect sense for xander’s character so I don’t have beef with it from a writers perspective, but it needs to be said. GILES WOULD NEVER LEAVE HER AT THE ALTAR

[what-the-stories-have-foretold]

My Love, I See My Self in You

Chrollo x reader

Navi.

Warnings: philosophy class has been a while, it´s possible that the following discussion about the self doesn´t make any sense. Or maybe it does. Who am I to say?, existential crisis El superiority, slightly implied yandere/not fully healthy relationship, also there is a reason I spelled it my self/our selves instead of myself and ourselves

Autumn Event.

Wordcount: 1.3k+

Love and passion – the spirited soul. What is the self without emotion? Does it need emotion for a self? Is that why you feel so lonely? Is that why he seems so void? It is a self he lacks, but there are other souls you both possess. You know of his need to eat to live and your throat has been dry more times than you could count. Life, apparently, appends the appetitive soul. While you cannot speak for yourself, you know he has intellect, you know there is a rational soul within him; too often have his arguments disarmed you.

So, what truly makes the self?

You could feel his gaze on you. A shiver went down your spine at his touch, running up your arm for just a sliver of your attention. He smiled when you turned to him.

“There you are. Penny for your thoughts?” he hummed, appreciatively.

You paused, unsure if you wanted to dive into that discussion on an evening as lovely as this one. Sensing your uncertainty, his fingers returned to your arm, drawing goosebumps from your skin.

“What do you think, is the self?” His eyebrows shot up in surprise and he briefly halted his movements. “Because you are rational and possess basic needs and even passion, but - is it really the lack of emotions that makes you so void?”

A chuckle escaped him and he resumed his ministrations, caressing your arm.

“Do you follow Plato´s philosophy?”

You shook your head. “I was merely entertaining the idea.”

“For you? Or for me?” His eyes darkened. You met his gaze head on, smiling sickeningly sweet.

“For you, of course.”

He hummed, but his eyes told you he didn´t believe you. Yet, he carried on:

“Sokrates believed it was the soul that was essence of the human person.”

“But then what is the soul?”

“Part of it being the individual´s intellectuality and morality. He thought it was this that made the personality.” You grimaced. “Is that theory not to your liking, sweetheart?” He let out a soft laugh when you shook your head. “Well, then, it is your turn again. What other theory do you have stored in your pretty little head?”

“I always thought Plato´s three souls are quite similar to Freud´s Es, Ich and Über-Ich," you said, more to yourself than to him.

Chrollo leaned forward, propping himself up on his legs. Still, he could reach your thigh with some of his fingers and couldn´t help but use the opportunity to continue touching you. While you would never admit it out loud, his gentle touch was indeed soothing. The amused gleam in his eyes told you he knew.

“I do – to a certain degree – agree with the tabula rasa; but more so in an-“ you snapped your fingers, trying to find the right words “-in an Existentialist way. Say…Locke´s theory about experiences, at least in part, creating the self.”

“You´re an existentialist?”

“Well, I do think we are shaped – our personality that is – by our experiences as well as the things we are taught – or not taught. Socialisation can either enrich or scar us; we can learn from it, reject it or embrace it. Either way: it makes us…us.”

“Then, in this case, would the “personality” you speak of constitute as a self?”

You pause.

“I – I´m not sure. I guess so, yes? At least partially? When I say “I”, do I mean my self? But that doesn´t really answer the question, does it? Whether I call it soul or self or me…I still don´t know what it means.”

You bit your lips and looked up at him. His eyes were brimming with fascination, he was listening to your every word.

“Maybe you´re all wrong?” he challenged you, oh how he loved to do that. You could feel his hands buzzing from excitement. “Maybe there is no self and all of this is pointless?”

You rolled your eyes.

“None of this is pointless, and you know it.”

“Do I now?” His smile widened.

“You get to pick my brain and I get to voice my thoughts.”

“I do enjoy picking your brain,” he admitted.

You didn´t even entertain the idea of replying to that.

“Anyways. If there is no self then I don´t exist.”

“That´s an interesting thesis.” You rolled your eyes again, but he continued as if nothing happened. “Maybe the self is just the brain?”

“I mean, to an extent that may be true. Plato´s souls can all – to a certain degree – be attributed to the brain. But that in of itself does not disprove the existence of a self. Maybe the self is the brain, perhaps it is within the brain. That doesn´t really matter in this discussion.”

“What about Ryle; "I act therefore I am"?”

“Now we´re back to existentialism.”

“Then what about this,” he leaned back again, eyes locking with yours, “Merleau-Ponty. You cannot view the self objectively. What we believe to know of both the self and the world is based solely on subjective experiences.”

You bit your lips and tapped your foot on the ground, frustrated. Chrollo, however, remained calm, gazing at you with utmost interest, heart thrumming in anticipation to your response.

“I-“ you cut yourself off. While you saw reason in what he proposed, you couldn´t help but feel like there was more to the self than this. “Then…what about...the five skandhas?” you asked, finally meeting his eyes again.

“Oh?”

“The self not only relies on feelings, whether emotional or physical, but also our senses. Mental activities such as thinking are also part of it. Then we have mental states and ideas: that includes prejudices and faith, but also desire, habits – even pride - and many more.

And, of course, there is awareness as well as our form itself – our physical body. I-“ You broke off again, unsure how to continue.

Chrollo hummed, seemingly satisfied with the glimpse he got from your mind. But then again, he was nothing but greedy.

“What about anatman then?”

“I never quite understood the "no self",” you admitted, quietly. “But if it is based solely on the fact that the self is not permanent – simply because we, as humans, are ever changing – I…I don´t think that is a good reason? I do not claim that my self is not subject to change, but that fact does not make it any less of a self? The person I was ten years ago – even just a moment ago – is different to the person I am now. Our selves are different – although they probably have some things in common still. But just how the differences between you and me don´t take away our claim to a self, neither do the differences between the person I am and the person I used to be. We are different people, with different selves.”

Chrollo let out a shaky breath.

“Then, what does this all tell you. Do you have an answer now?”

Sighing, you rubbed your eyes.

“You do have emotions, but they are…sterile,” you started, carefully, ”Only to the outside does it look like you lack a self. You have both physical form and consciousness. You can feel pain, whether it would draw blood or a tear. I have seen you plan the most intricate heists in your mind. I know that you enjoy our little morning ritual and that you believe it to be bad luck to leave without telling me that you love me. I know you have faith in the troupe´s vision and that there is nothing more that you desire than all of our happiness – even at the cost of your own life. You take pride in your knowledge, your experience and your intelligence – but still you can be afraid.” Your voice cracked. “Maybe you seem so void because you don´t know how to define yourself – not even being able to pretend like you do. And maybe,” you added, quietly, “Maybe I´m not lonely, just scared.”

Your eyes searched for comfort in his, but what met your gaze were only his widened, glassy eyes. After a moment, he coughed and drew you into his arms, holding you protectively against his chest and resting his chin on your head.

“We are young, sweetheart, we have all the time in the world to discover our selves." He paused. "And we have each other.”

You closed your eyes, returning his hug.

"Yeah, at least we have each other," you whispered.

[meadowlarksabove]

.Really stressed with work so have some AU nonsense in the tags.

[mayfriend]

I don't want to pressure you at all, but do you have any idea when the next chapter of Tabula Rasa will be ready? I'm very excited to find out what happens to Spider now that he's been rescued. And would you mind posting a snippet of anything you have for the next chapter please? Thank you 💙

I can't tell you when the next chapter of tabula rasa is going to be up, because I don't know myself (there's a chunk in the middle I'm not happy with rn, so I don't want to move on without fixing that), but it is in progress and I can give you a snippet!

Preview of CHAPTER 11:

His hand goes to his throat as the low-level buzz of voices grow louder, the contrasting textures of the wooden rosary and metal dogtags calming his panicked thoughts. It’s a split second decision to throw himself back down to the mat and screw his eyes shut as he feels the floor shifting with footsteps. “–the boy still asleep?” The man’s voice is pitched low, presumably to avoid waking him, but Miles bites down a flinch regardless. Terror twists in his stomach, and he knows if he was turned towards his captors then his strained expression would give away his consciousness in a moment. “Yes,” a woman’s voice replies. “But I am told this is not unusual. A human will need more rest than we do, and you told me yourself that the boy exhausted himself yesterday.” The only reply is a hum of acknowledgement. Neither voice has grown closer, and Miles dares open his eyes to see two shadows spilling across the marui’s woven floor, almost leaving the hut entirely in darkness The larger of the two – taller and broader both – lifts a hand and bring it up to his head. “I fear we have made a mistake in bringing him here,” the man sighs. “I told you this was all a mistake,” the woman states, and her shadow grows bigger. Miles has just enough warning to close his eyes and force his expression into something resembling slackness before he is in her view. “But the time for these doubts and recriminations is past. Our people must live with our choices, your choices. Those that can.” “Ma yawne…” “Uturu is uturu is uturu,” the woman says, right above Miles’ body. He is sure that it must be blindingly obvious that he is awake, his every muscle taut as a bowstring, but Tonowari’s mate makes no mention of it, so maybe she is not looking. “You do not need to tell me this. As soon as you accepted their petition, we were bound. I advised otherwise at the time, and you ignored me, olo’eyktan. Do not tell me now that you regret, not now.” “You would have had me turn away children?”  A hiss. The floor shifts again; Miles daren’t even breathe. “I would have had you turn away the father, yes.” “To separate a father from his child–” “Then what is this, Tonowari?” 

somebody's in trouuubleee (it's tonowari. tonowari is in trouble.)