#read that in squidwards voice

[saintbarou]

i’ll take a large order of gojo balls pls 🫶🏽

sorry we don’t serve gojo or his balls here

[oddishblossom]

He’s usually expressionless… but when he smiles, he’s simply adorable. Before I knew it, my eyes started following Adachi.

Cherry Magic - S1 EP3

[charcarts]

day 4 of mykr week! loosely based my prompt off Woofemus’s fic, "For Whom The Gong Tolls" on ao3; an oldie but a goodie tbh 

[iwozlegit]

|| 🍍• Y’all can’t convince me otherwise that Orion Pax was, in fact, getting librarian boners over Megatron sharing his thespian speeches and poetry with him.

[tart-miano]

asjhdhfjfjkg the airbrushed parts look pixelated on my end no matter what i do but im guessing its just my shitty internet connection??? fuck it, take this shitpost and run

(characters by @midorilied / @gabrielied)

[momokiir0]

Oh no he’s hot

[mermaidcowboy]

i have got to make more femme4butch yuri

[bug-under-a-rug]

THE DOORS HAVE UNIONIZED

[dragonanon]

Okay I know there’s a lot of controversy surrounding the use of AI to create things. But if I hadn’t known this was made using AI, I deadass would’ve believed that Rodger Bumpass decided to make a god tier shitpost that ironically came out really good.

[elenaesmoved]

"I DID say it to my own reflection, but Im an over achiever."

ㅤㅤ❛❛ wow, busy today, aren't we? ❜❜

[bloomberrypint]

[saintbarou]

we serve dick and balls here sir

[the-autistic-vulcan]

They Called It Puppy Love: Headcanons (Simu!Ken x Shy!Reader)

Request: Hello 💕 I wanna request a Simu!Ken please - Simu!Ken (Barbie) where he's dating a new Barbie shyreader and Barbies & Kens find it adorable that Simu!Ken follows her like a lost puppy and just deeply in love with her, please?

Genre: Fluff

Description: Headcanons for Ken and a timid s/o

a/n: he's so cute <3

Pre-Relationship:

Upon knowing of Ken's existence in Barbieland, there was a definite: He was a damn show-off

And a cute one on top of it - and that did annoy you

You were a lesser know Barbie that was released and, let's say, didn't fly off the shelves

You were pretty happy in your own little corner by the library and you always kept to yourself

Ken noticed you...eventually

It was another perfect day in Barbieland, you were simply walking on the pier near the beach, your eyes down and not making any move to speak to people

Then he saw you, the beachball bounced off of his head in an instant

He found it quite cute that you were doing anything to avoid talking to people, so, he did what he did best - showed off his beach skills

And with enough oomph in his step, you finally looked up and saw

His smile beaming with comfidence

Was that a wink? Hell yeah!

Your face was bright red, your palms sweaty, your breath quickened - *in squidward's voice* OH NO HE'S HOT!

He then approached you after to talk to you

"Hi, hi there, I'm Ken - you know, from beach?"

"Yeah, I know..."

It may have been only a few sentences after and then he asks

"Do you, uh...do you know how to play volleyball?"

"...No, I'm, um, I'm not a Beach Barbie..."

"Huh...can I teach you?"

And the rest is history

In Relationship:

He follows you around

Not in a 'ooo I like here, let me invade her privacy' kind of way

But he follows you like a lost puppy - all bright-eyed, a big smile on his face and not so subtly praising you for the bare minimum

Like, you could be doing the most basic thing like reading and he's just looking at you with heart eyes

Dates usually consist of watching him do beach things like volleyball, surfing and such

But that doesn't mean he won't do anything else

One of your favourite things to do is to simply sit in silence, enjoying the company of someone else

That soon became a mandatory ritual for the both of you

He calls you "baby, love, sweetie, darling", like, all the basic ones

He also is a GOD at respecting boundaries when they're put in place

He is a touchy-feely guy and he likes to hold you in any way he can and any time he can

But if you quietly tell him 'no', he will immediately move away

But if you're craving a little extra touch, he's more than happy to oblige

This was adorable! Anything you wish to request, go to my inbox!

Please like and reblog! Do not pass this as your own.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @honourablefool

for some hell reason i read this in like, spongebob's voice when he's asking squidward "you LIKE krabby patties don't you??"

text: You like kissing boys, don't you?

[tragicclownwrites]

Why the ending of "Sponge-Cano!" was great SquidBob fodder

Hello! I'm back with an analysis post as I came across something recently and wanted to share some thoughts.

I'm likely late to the game here, but I saw an old post in which the author (a fellow SquidBobber) was upset by the ending of "Sponge-Cano!" and I just have to say... huh!?

Were we watching the same episode? 🤨

Needless to say, I was thoroughly perplexed by this reaction because I personally read into it much differently. Then again, I am a clown.

Therefore - in the spirit of friendly fandom discourse - I wanted to provide another perspective on this episode. Absolutely no shade to the OP either - people are allowed to have differing opinions, after all.

If you're with me, let's clown around below the cut!

The lie that started it all

Before we dive in any further, let's take a look at the scene that started this whole conversation.

Essentially, after Squidward's heartfelt confession to SpongeBob, while he's hanging on for dear life over a boiling volcano...

Squidward: "Please SpongeBob, I didn't mean any of that! I do appreciate your friendship. I am grateful. I'm… I'm… I'm grateful for the life I'm living! Who knows how long I'll have it? I learned that from you, remember?"

He says this after being rescued by his true love SpongeBob:

Squidward: "You know SpongeBob, in light of everything that just happened... I lied to you. I am not grateful for anything! I mean look at me. I don't even have a roof to sleep under, anymore!"

Now, this is the moment that had the OP so heated about this episode. After everything he said, after SpongeBob saved his life, he just... lied?

Weeeell, not exactly.

The truth always reveals itself

Now, for my hot take... I don't think Squidward was lying at all when he said he was grateful for SpongeBob.

Before you immediately decide that I've completely out-clowned myself this time, just hear me out!

There are a few reasons Squidward may have reacted the way he did in the aftermath of the volcano debacle.

He's Squidward

Our man's just lost his whole fucking house for the billionth time

The reality of what he just said is slowly catching up with him

He's Squidward

Unlike his more chipper counterpart, the guy doesn't exactly wear his heart on his sleeve and has been shown to struggle with vulnerability and admitting failure. I mean, he can barely manage to apologize for his less savory actions without choking and sputtering like a fool!

However, when his life was on the line in this scene, he was vulnerable in more ways than one. Physically, he was quite literally dangling over an active volcano - you can't get more vulnerable than that! Emotionally, he bore his soul to SpongeBob because he thought he was going to die and wouldn't have another chance to say any of that again. Keep in mind, he truly believed he wouldn't live to see SpongeBob ever again.

I've mentioned this in my Reigisa x SquidBob masterpost, but there have been several other instances where - particularly, in a dire situation - Squidward will openly admit that he has always liked/cared for SpongeBob. And similarly, he's also tried to take it back or act like he didn't mean it when everything turns out okay or if other people aside from SpongeBob hear his confession.

So, as much as he "hates" SpongeBob and can't stand him, when it really counts, the truth always reveals itself.

Is it possible that he was just trying to play at SpongeBob's heartstrings to save his own ass? Perhaps.

But then, he accepts his fate. He loses his grip, giving everyone a tearful farewell. That is, until his little yellow angel comes to his rescue.

SpongeBob: "Squidward, I always knew you felt that way. Aw, buddy. Thanks for finally opening up to us."

⬆️Just look at the pure love in his eyes! (*Patrick voice*: LOOK AT IT!) The sappy sponge was even prepared to sacrifice himself for him. 🥺

While there was absolutely no way SpongeBob would actually let Squidward perish - promises be damned - it wasn't until Squidward poured his heart out, putting his true feelings towards SpongeBob out in the open, that he was saved from certain death.

You know how they say, "the truth will set you free"? No kidding!

As for why SpongeBob was completely fine with Squidward's lie after the fact (another point of contention for OP), well... he loves him. Period. And I think, despite his emotional constipation and frequent annoyance with the sponge in question, it's pretty clear Squidward loves him, too.

Therefore, SpongeBob wasn't upset by Squidward's outburst here because, as naïve as he may be, I don't think that fact is lost on him either.

In conclusion...

I think it's safe to say that "Sponge-Cano!" was a pretty great episode to add to the ever-growing SquidBob pile.

And if you thought the scene I talked about above was the last of it, ohohoho~ 🤭😏

You. Just. Wait.

At the very end of the episode, after Squidward loses his home and complains that he no longer has "a roof to sleep under anymore," SpongeBob does what SpongeBob does best: he offers to help him out.

Even after Squidward's selfish actions in "Can You Spare a Dime?" (which had some great fodder as well, such as *ahem* Squidward making SpongeBob wear a sexy maid outfit), SpongeBob still lets him stay at his house for an indefinite amount of time. Continuity? I don't know her.

To which, this gets even better.

Squidward doesn't refuse and find somewhere else to crash. After all, wasn't SpongeBob the reason he was miserable enough to be sacrificed in the first place? Why would he subject himself to even more SpongeBob, if that were the case?

At SpongeBob's house, he doesn't sleep on the couch or in a spare room. He doesn't even take SpongeBob's bed for himself while SpongeBob sleeps elsewhere - just like he did in "Can You Spare a Dime?"

NO.

The two of them share SpongeBob's bed. As in, they sleep in the same bed together.

Are these two fucking serious!?

They totally cuddled. Maybe even kissed.

All that to say, as much as Squidward whines and gripes about how much SpongeBob makes him miserable, it's clear to see that - even in the face of life-threatening adversity - SpongeBob's presence in his life is the key to his happiness. In this case, the key to his survival as well.

Now, if only our favorite grumpy octopus would take that spongey key, embracing him fully, to unlock that door... 🌈

[mrehkka]

Dib being an asshole (but screaming internally) while Zim's wearing some traditional ceremonial Irken outfit

(Pls read Dib's thoughts in the squidward voice thank you)