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#real diamond broken heart pendant
thegrandly · 2 years
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The Broken Heart Pendant Blueprint
The Broken Heart Pendant Blueprint
A broken heart pendant is a piece of jewelry. It can be made of many different materials, such as gold and silver. This type of jewel is usually worn by people who are afraid or might have experienced a failed relationship, such as a breakup or divorce. Some models are considered powerful healing and protection tools by emitting an energy field. This helps remove negative energy blockages from…
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peakyxtommy · 4 years
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Wonder - T.S.
Thomas Shelby x Fem!Reader
Summary: Based around song Wonder by Shawn Mendes. Tommy wonders about his love for the reader and has to make a decision to confess or deny it. 
Word Count: 2.7K 
Warning: Angst, Sadness, Fluff
A/N: Enjoyed writing this. Ya Girl Snapped LOL Listen to Wonder b/c that song snaps.
Gif Credit: @myimaginesworld​
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I wonder if I'm being real
Do I speak my truth or do I filter how I feel?
I wonder, wouldn't it be nice
To live inside a world that isn't black and white?
His heart ached again in this lifetime. His heart has not ached this way in the longest of time, since he lost his first true love. It was a losing battle because the only thing that painted his mind was the scene of you crying last night in his office. He did what he did best which was push people away. It was a trait he had gotten good at from a young age. Thinking he was protecting himself but was really doing the opposite. Avoiding being vulnerable, the risk that comes with letting another person in. Letting them see the deepest roots of your soul. The actions of the past that caused trauma on the present. Wishing it all could be wiped away in the future. 
He remembers the crack in your voice as the scene replays in his head. You came to his office, to be taken out to dinner as he had forgotten earlier in the week. When you show up to his office ready to be dined, you're met with the same old excuse again. That’s when your voices started out in a yelling match to now be in hushed whispers of the rarest parts of your mind, on display for the other. 
“Do you even love me?” Your finger points accusingly at him as he stands tall with a small space between your two bodies, but the tension felt made that space feel like you were across the room. It was a question that broke his heart even more than the first time the words left your soft lips. The way your brow furrowed and the curvature of your lips frowned with deep sadness, he knew this wasn’t a game anymore. 
“Why would you even ask that?” He questions in defense, not daring to meet your eyes, finding his reflection in his black shoes more interesting. 
“Lately, I can feel the distance growing between us, like a ship lost at sea, that’s getting harder to reach. I know I told you how I felt, a few weeks back. I didn't need to hear you say it back but, since then, it’s like you’ve been avoiding me like the plague. It hurts.”
You whisper the last part so soft, he almost misses it. He hears it but the thought scares him. Makes him want to run even further away than when you first said it to him. He stares as you hold back the tears in your eyes, silently pleading for him to say something, to be brave enough to let you in. He remains silent. 
“I love you Tommy, but I can’t keep doing this. It’s like lighting fires with matches, but it’s not catching with you. I keep leading myself into the flames, to keep on burning. It’s not enough to lose myself when you get to walk away fine, not broken hearted.” 
“Then maybe you should go. Find someone that is good enough for you!” He screams, throwing the glass in his hand against the wall, watching as it shatters into small pieces. This was the last straw for you. You just shake your head in disappointment, as he tries to get the last word in. 
As he watched you leave his office with the door slamming loudly, shaking the walls. He knew it was a mistake that he didn’t go after you or say the truth he felt in the deepest part of his being. So instead he sat in his office staring out the window nursing a bottle of whiskey and a pack of smokes, hoping it would take some of the pain away. It doesn’t but it at least numbs the thought of you in his heart and mind, at least for a little while.  
Right before I close my eyes
The only thing that's on my mind
Been dreamin' that you feel it too
I wonder what it's like to be loved by you
He felt it felt deep inside his bones from the moment he met you. He couldn’t explain why when you talked to him it made everything feel different, feel new. He wondered about you. His mind couldn't stop traveling to the future. He let himself dream freely of loving you. He wanted to tell you the truth but he was afraid. You made him happy. You covered the deepest scars and wounds with your words. Words that spoke truth, spoke volume. You were sweet and kind, the almost exact opposite of him. You spoke with a smile on your face every time you graced him with your presence. 
It had been three days since he last saw and heard from you. He didn’t blame you at all, he blamed himself. He knew the look on Polly’s face the second day meant she knew something was up and today she ripped him a new one as usual, but he couldn’t be bothered to listen to her reasoning, already knowing the truth. He wished the truth didn’t hurt, that denial could be easier but it wasn’t. 
He spent his days forcing himself into work to not let his mind get too caught in silence because he couldn’t stop thinking about you and what you were doing in the small moments of your days away from him. It was only at night right before he closed his eyes he thought of you and him, the moments you shared together. 
“Tommy what are you doing, put me down!” You laugh as he spins you around in his arms.
“I have good news, you’re the first I'm sharing with!” He says with a wide grin, as he places you back on the ground. 
“What’s the good news Tommy?” You cheer, just as excited as him. 
“I got the betting license needed and I'll be able to expand to own a club in London. My plan is working out great so far.” 
“That’s excellent news Tom. I’m proud of you and know your family will be glad as well.”
“To celebrate, I got you something.” He pulls out a small black rectangle box placing it into your open palms. You open the box, to reveal a three stone diamond pendant necklace. It was the first of many moments where he would leave you speechless in a good way and gift you in a sweet way.  
“Thank you so much Tommy. You didn’t have to do this. I should be the one surprising you with a gift. I love it so much, I'm never going to take this off. “ You kiss him sweetly and allow him to put it around your neck.
“You’re my girl, you’re a gift enough to me daily (Y/N).” 
I wonder why I'm so afraid
Of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint
“I love you Tommy.” You spoke the next morning naked limbs entangled in another as your forehead rested against his collar bones, fingers tracing circles into his milky skin. Those words had been on your mind a lot the past few weeks. You were afraid to say them, to leave yourself open to being hurt. 
The closer you grew to him as staying the night more at his house and even slowly leaving a few of your things there. You knew it was him that made your heartbeat skip just a little faster and even when he made it angry or spark with fear due to his dangerous risk taking, he also calmed it like no other. Even though he wasn’t the best with words, when he spoke to you he tried his best and would say the words that seemed to soothe you back to peace. His actions of holding you closer at night or early in the morning or surprise gifts, made you believe it was all worth the risk of saying those three words. Three words that spoke volume, that could grow or crush you in the small fraction of a second. He was worth the risk. 
When he heard you say those words, it’s like a knife pierced his heart. A heart that already knew death and heartache. A heart that was on the mend, but still wounded. The words you spoke stroked fear inside of him. A man able to strategize, control men, and kill his enemies was afraid to love. He didn’t want to mess this up or say something wrong, even in this moment.
Those words were real, the emotions were real, and that what was happening between the two of you was real. It wasn’t a game or dream, but a connection. A connection he didn’t want to end or break. He knew he wasn’t a saint and surely he was going to Hell, but with you in his arms, he felt whole, felt holy. 
He did what he did best and shoved his emotions down. He didn’t say anything because he knew you weren’t expecting him too. The best he could do was offer a small smile and a peck on the lips as he held you closer to his chest, afraid that time and his feelings would catch up with him.  
I wonder, when I cry into my hands
I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man
He wasn’t one for deep emotions, because it made him feel less than a man but with you he could be vulnerable. He could fully be himself and you drew that out of him slowly at first. 
You tell he was angry by the slam of the front door, soon followed by the slam of his office door. Both shaking the house into silence and then the chatter continued like it was a normal occurrence. You knew not to bother him right now, deciding to let him cool down for a bit before going to see what was wrong. 
You waited an hour before knocking, making your entrance known with a hot cup of tea and a plate of dinner on a tray. The scene in front of your eyes almost shocks you, but you handle it by addressing it head on.
“Tommy what’s wrong?” You speak in a soft whisper setting the tray on his desk, as he furiously wipes his wet eyes. 
“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine. It’s all fucking fine!” He huffs, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to will the tears away. You take a sit across from him in the empty chair allowing him to have his space, never seeing him this upset before. 
“Everything’s not fine. You’re angry and upset, upset enough that you’re crying. If you don’t want to talk about it, I won’t force you. I’ll be here to listen.” You speak biting your lip out of nervousness of wondering if you pushed him too far. 
“Men aren’t supposed to cry, crying is weak! It serves no purpose.” He swallows the last bit of the glass of whiskey he’s been nursing next to the half filled bottle. His eyes still don’t meet yours. 
You finally come around to his chair to sit in his lap, forcing his eyes to meet yours. 
“That’s a lie because everyone cries. Crying isn’t weak, it’s a normal human emotion. It actually does you some good. I sometimes feel better after I cry and sometimes when I’m crying with the right person, it makes me feel even better than when I’m crying alone. I promise, I won’t think less of you if you cry. You don’t have to be strong all the time and hold all your emotions in. It’s okay to let it all out.”
You press a kiss to his forehead, knowing this man wouldn’t let you easily but you would open your arms wide enough to let him know you were a safe place, that you could be his safe place, his safe haven from all of the things going on in his world and mind. That much he appreciated and would hold on too, even if he couldn’t fully express himself emotionally yet. 
And I wonder if someday you'll be by my side
And tell me that the world will end up alright
You were sitting in your living room reading when you heard a knock at the door. You move swiftly to see who it could be at this late hour, having a feeling but pushing it to the back of your mind. It was only a week since you last heard and saw of him. You brace yourself for when you open the door, to come in contact with his tall and pale figure, standing in your doorway. His blue eyes had bags underneath them and his face was stone cold. 
“Can I please talk with you?” He asks.
“Now you have words to say, a week later. You seemed okay, not saying anything when we had words in your office!” You huff with anger, crossing your arms as you both stood in the doorway, cold air, nipping at you both, almost colder than the air between you two. 
“It will only take two minutes. If you want me to go after that then I’ll leave. I promise.”
 “Go on.” 
“I’m sorry for being daft and hurting your feelings. It was wrong of me. I’ve only been avoiding you because I love you. I was afraid of letting you get close because I know I’m not good enough for you and that you can do better. I’m selfish because I want you to choose me even if I'm not the best option for you.
 I’m plagued by darkness, but you’re the light that shines through. Even from the day we first met, I knew there was something special about you. I’m not ready to lose that, lose you, by letting fear control my heart. I will never be perfect, as good, and will always be in the head of danger, but I do promise to try my best to be the best I can be, if you will still have me? I really do love you (Y/N), even if it’s taken me this long to realize it.”
You can see the redness of his cheeks and the wetness pooling in his eyes as he makes his declaration to you. You can still feel that familiar sting of heartache from the week earlier, but you also feel the warmth of the love you have shared for him inside the depth of your inner being. There will never be love without heartache and making those hard decisions of staying or walking away. 
“Tommy you’re enough for me. I see the darkness and the danger, but I see the good in you. You need to start seeing it as well. If I had to choose you over anyone else, I would choose you time and time again because I love you Thomas Shelby, and only you. You have my heart and you can’t get rid of me that easily. I’m still hurt by your words and actions, and if it happens I will leave. So don’t mess up. We’re a team and we both have things we can work on together because no one’s perfect.” You speak with seriousness in your tone but also warmth and love. 
 “Thank you.” Is all he speaks as his cold fingers find your cheeks and your ice lips touch soon becoming warm in his embrace. You let him into your home to warm up and have a cup of tea. Spending the remainder of the evening reading a poetry book you both enjoy, taking turns reading pages to each other, enjoying being in the embrace of another again.  
I wonder what it's like to be loved by you
He no longer had to wonder about your love, finally allowing himself to fall into you. To trust you fully and to let the walls surrounding him and his heart come down, knowing you were going to be worth it. 
-
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@captivatedbycillianmurphy
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WINGMAN by Quinn73 on AO3
Pidge felt a cold trickle of perspiration sliding down her back as she approached the entrance to the most popular nightclub in this little corner of the galaxy, a posh establishment known as The Event Horizon. She clutched her sparkly handbag a little tighter and wondered if she should go inside. She checked her watch. She was still too early. Why was she foolish enough to agree to this? Pidge sighed and began pacing back and forth in the high heels she was still very unaccustomed to wearing. Hunk had been the one who talked her into this madness. He had been very persuasive, having gone on and on about how vulnerable Lance was.
“He hasn’t dated anyone since...” Allura’s name went unspoken. “...you know.”
“I know,” she replied to Hunk. “But aren’t you normally his wingman?”
“Yeah, of course! I’m the best wingman there is.” Hunk looked incredibly pleased with himself. He winked at her. Pidge frowned, perplexed by how strange Hunk had been behaving lately. In recent weeks he had been bombarding her with the most personal and embarrassing questions when she least expected it. “But you know I have an important diplomatic mission to Cyan III, so I can’t be there to help him get back into the dating scene. Pidge, please, do this for me. I don’t want Lance to get his heart broken again—“
She exhaled. “Fine. I’ll steer him away from the crazies and the stalkers. What time do I have to be there?”
“Seven o’clock sharp. And wear something nice. You know, maybe get your hair done, put on a little makeup—not that you need it—it’s just, Lance—- uh, I ,mean, that club is really upscale, okay.”
After that conversation Pidge rummaged through her closet and found nothing suitable for the evening except for the clingy little emerald green cocktail dress she had worn only once before. The diamond earrings she had inherited from her great-grandmother would look nice with it, she thought. There was only one necklace that she owned that was the right length for the neckline of the dress though, and she wondered if it would be appropriate to wear it or not. It was a golden heart on a delicate chain that had been sent to her as a special delivery on her twenty-first birthday. There was no return address, only a typed note that read, “To the strongest, smartest, most beautiful woman I have ever known. I hope someday I have the courage to tell you how I really feel about you.” The message wasn’t signed, and she had no idea who sent it to her. Colleen had teased her daughter so much about her “secret admirer” that she had hidden the necklace away in her jewelry box and had never worn it.
Lance had been particularly sulky at work that April, and often seemed as grumpy as he was when his siblings ate all the garlic knots and didn’t save any for him. He was even grouchy in his classes. Pidge overheard his students gossiping about it, and thought that it was very strange because Lance was known to be the most cheerful and enthusiastic of all the flight instructors at the Garrison.
Pidge began having lunch in her laboratory, pretending that this was saving her valuable time on her latest project. She didn’t want to admit to herself that she was avoiding Lance because her feelings were hurt. After three years of long weekend video gaming sessions and endless hours at his apartment binge watching all of the movies and television programs they had missed while in space, she thought their friendship meant something to him. She couldn’t believe he had forgotten her birthday this year, and she had cried herself to sleep for three nights. Hormones, she thought. Maybe she should ask the doctor for something she could take for all of her mood swings. She thought it might have something to do with her being a late bloomer.
She checked her watch again. It was nearly seven. She looked up at the glowing sign above the famous club’s entryway, squared her shoulders, and walked towards the front door, then abruptly stopped short before entering the nightclub. There was a sign on the door in front of her that read
ONCE YOU CROSS THE EVENT HORIZON, THERE’S NO TURNING BACK.
Pidge read it, and then swallowed. She reminded herself that she was doing this for Lance because she wanted him to be happy, even if that meant he was going to find happiness with someone that wasn’t her. Her vision blurred, and she wiped the corners of her eyes with her fingers, hoping her eye makeup didn’t smear. She took a deep breath and crossed the threshold.
A young Galran woman greeted her in the front lobby. “How many are in your party?”
“Oh, uh, I’m looking for a friend. He might have arrived before me,” Pidge replied.
“You are welcome to look for him, miss. Let me know if you require a table.”
“Thanks,” Pidge responded, and she headed towards the bar just beyond a large sign that read “The Singularity.” She assumed that with a name like that it must be the singles bar. There were several sorry-looking males and only a few overly made-up females of a variety of species at the bar. All of them seemed either depressed, intoxicated, or both. She sat as far away from all of them as possible. If Lance was going to meet the woman of his dreams tonight, surely it wouldn’t be any of these pathetic creatures. What was Hunk thinking? The Polluxian bartender asked what she wanted to drink, and Pidge responded that she was waiting for a friend. She cringed inwardly as a gap-toothed Unilu male sauntered her way and sat on the barstool next to her. “Buy you a drink, sweetheart?” His breath reeked of intoxicants.
“No, thank you.” She moved away from him. He leaned closer, eyeing her in a way that made her very uncomfortable. Pidge’s mind raced. She needed an escape. “I’m meeting a friend here tonight.” She looked toward the club’s main entrance, and saw her opportunity. “Sorry.” She got up. Lance had just arrived, and she couldn’t repress her grin at the sight of him. She darted towards the front lobby, passing in front of the huge darkened room called The Black Hole, which was, by the sound of the loud music, a dance floor of some kind.
Pidge thought Lance looked quite dashing in the tailored blue suit he was wearing, but she soon realized that his expression was surlier than usual, as if he didn’t want to be there at all. Her smile melted away.
Lance didn’t see her approach. He had turned toward the young Galran hostess. “Table for two, please. I don’t know if she’s here yet though.” His stance was alert, with his fists curled at his sides. He looked as if he was ready to bolt at any moment.
“There was a pretty young woman of your species who arrived just before you did. She said she was looking for someone,” said the hostess. She saw Pidge standing a few feet behind Lance. “Here she is, sir.”
Lance took a deep breath, as if bracing himself for something very unpleasant. He slowly turned around, and Pidge watched as Lance’s expression went from a look of anxiety to one of elation. “Pidge?! What are you doing here?” He looked happier than he had been in weeks. “You look great in that dress, by the way.” His eyes lingered on the golden heart-shaped necklace at her throat, and his grin broadened even more.
“Hunk told me I had to be here, and I don’t understand what’s—”
“Hunk really is the best friend a guy could ever have, isn’t he? I owe him big time for this.”
Pidge didn’t understand what Lance was talking about. “I—“
The hostess interrupted. “Your table is ready, sir. Right this way.”
Before Pidge could even ask what was going on, Lance grabbed her by the hand and followed the hostess into a brightly lit dining room, past the larger tables for boisterous gatherings, and onward to a quieter, more dimly lit area where couples would normally sit at smaller, more intimate candlelit tables. The room was empty for the moment. Soft, beautiful music was playing in the background. Pidge was both overwhelmed and confused. She felt a momentary pang of regret as Lance let go of her hand, but she soon realized that he did this in order to pull out a chair for her. “Oh! Thank you.” She felt the heat rise to her cheeks. What was happening? She smoothed her skirt as she sat down. They should be at the singles bar. How was she supposed to help Lance get a date if...
“Hunk really had me fooled,” Lance said with a chuckle. His blue eyes sparkled with happiness.
“What exactly did he tell you?” she asked, trying to calm her nerves. She had her hands hidden in her lap, hoping Lance wouldn’t notice that they were shaking.
“Well, when Hunk said that he was gonna set me up on a blind date with a girl who would be an absolutely perfect match for me, I was really skeptical about that. At first, I refused to go because I told him my heart already belonged to someone and I wasn’t interested in meeting some other girl, but Hunk said that I had to go, and that if I didn’t go you would be really upset with me. I thought that meant that you wanted me to move on, and that hurt so much.” Pidge noticed that Lance began to tear up a little. “I thought you didn’t like me that way, especially when I saw that you didn’t ever wear the birthday present I sent you.”
Pidge gaped at him as touched her golden heart pendant with one trembling hand. “You sent this to me? I-I didn’t know!” She felt a cool tear slide down one very warm cheek. “The card wasn’t signed. I am so sorry. I love the necklace! It’s beautiful, and thank you for it.” Don’t cry, don’t cry she told herself, but it was too late.
Lance extended his hands across the table to her, and after wiping her face with a napkin, she reached out to him, allowing him to take both of her small hands into his larger ones. “Hunk had to trick me into going on a date with you,” he confessed. “I was too afraid of rejection to ask you out on a real date, even though we spend nearly every weekend hanging out together.”
Pidge bit her lip and then gave him a watery smile. “He had to trick me too. He said you were going out tonight and needed a wingman. That’s why I was waiting for you at The Singularity just now.”
“Wearing that dress and with your hair curled and—wait a minute! Are you actually wearing makeup?” Lance chuckled. “You look like a model or a movie star. Did you really think I would be looking at some other single lady at the bar when you look hotter than a supernova?”
Pidge giggled. “Well, I wanted you to see what you’re missing,” she teased. “And from now on, the only heart shaped pendant I will ever wear will be from someone that I love, not some unknown secret admirer.”
Lance beamed at her. “I hope that means you’ll wear it again.”
“Always.”
That was all the encouragement Lance needed. “When I sent you that note I was thinking of something a wise man once said: Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
“Lao Tzu,” Pidge commented, recognizing the quote. “The note you sent said that I am the strongest woman you have ever known and that someday you hoped to have the courage to tell me how you really feel about me.”
“I guess that someday is today.” He let go of her hands and slid his chair around the table to her side. “I love you, Katie Holt. I always have. I’m sorry it took so long for me to find the courage to say it out loud.” He reached out to cup her cheek, wiping away one of her happy tears with his thumb.
Courage, she thought. Just tell him. She placed both of her hands on his broad shoulders, and he dared to move even closer to her. “I love you, too.” she said softly. “All these years, it’s always been you, Lance.”
Her eyelids fluttered closed as he leaned towards her. Their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss. Instinctively, Pidge slid her arms around his neck, and Lance responded by pulling her closer and deepening the kiss.
“I think we should stop,” she whispered in between kisses.
“Why? I know you’re enjoying this as much as I am,” he said in an uncharacteristically deep voice that made her shiver.
Pidge knew she had to be the sensible one. “The waiter will be here soon and we haven’t even looked at our menus.”
Blushing, Lance slid his chair back to the other side of the table. “I guess I was getting a little too carried away with kissing my new girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend? You move faster than a proton in a particle accelerator.”
“Sorry. I should have been a gentleman and asked—“
“Yes, well I do expect my boyfriend to be a gentleman, especially when we’re in public.” Her eyes sparkled like the diamonds she was wearing. They were both giddy the rest of the evening, which was spent dining and dancing and talking about the bright future that was ahead of them.
It was mid morning at the embassy on Cyan III when Hunk’s deep space communicator received an electronic message from two of his fellow Paladins. When he opened the message, Hunk saw that it was a selfie taken on Lance’s phone. In the photo Lance was smiling at the camera, dressed in his finest suit, looking more cheerful than he had been in years. He had his arm around a gorgeous girl in a clingy green dress who seemed to radiate waves of happiness. It was Pidge, Hunk realized. She looked so glamorous he nearly didn’t recognize her. The message read, “I had the time of my life at The Event Horizon—dinner and dancing with the love of my life. Thanks, Hunk. You’re the best wingman ever! —Lance.”
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saharamae21 · 4 years
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Midsummers (JJ Imagine - Part Two)
Author: sguymon21
Summary: After JJ and you break up, it takes a lot to heal. Nothing seems to be working, so when Rafe invited you to Midsummers, it seems like just the distraction you needed. However, everything he does reminds you of JJ.
Warnings: None?
_____________________________________________
We got the ferry and made our way around White Chapel. Everything was new to me and Rafe was so amused by my excitement. He was watching every reaction carefully and I knew that. I smiled at the thought and he just stared.
“What?” he asked.
“It just feels nice to be paid attentioned to,” I said. I stared at him with a small smile. His eyes softened when he heard that and grabbed my hand harshly to counter his expression. Then his hand became soft as it embraced mine. He was being careful with me for some reason. It made my heart flutter though.
We walked into a store filled with gowns. I stared at them. I knew I couldn’t afford anything in this room, but I didn’t want to disappoint Rafe. I watched as he went to a rake and pulled a few dresses he thought would look good on me. I blushed at the thought of him knowing what would work on my body. I walked through the racks and brushed my fingers against each one before something finally caught my eye. It was a slightly sheer, pale pink dress. The dress had a white ribbon pattern and pink and green flowers made of beads. It was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. Rafe grabbed it off the rack and handed it to me.
“Oh, I was just looking,” I said. It was a $6,995 dollar dress, something I couldn’t dream of buying.
“Just try it on,” he said. He asked a worker to get me a dressing room and put the dress in it. I stepped in and decided to humor Rafe. The truth is that I wanted to wear it though. I wanted to see if it was as beautiful on me as it was on the hanger. I slipped it on and the fabric felt soft against my skin. I was scared to look at myself in the mirror. I was scared I would like who stood in front of it. I finally got the courage to look up and the old y/n was gone. In her place was this beautiful, rich girl. A girl who demanded attention. I felt the curtain slide open and Rafe peaked in. “Wow…”
“I don’t know,” I said, remembering the price.
“It’s perfect. You look beautiful,” he said, unable to look away. I could feel myself blush. “We’ll take it!”
As I heard him yell that towards a worker, I felt my heart sink. I couldn’t pay for this. I opened my mouth to protest, but he didn’t let me speak.
“It’s a gift,” he said and smiled. He had no idea how badly I received gifts.
Kie and I were walking around together. JJ had decided to spend the day with John and Pope, so that left us having a girls day. Even though I was around Kie a lot now, we didn’t have very much one on one time. It was nice.
“So you and JJ’s three month is coming up soon,” she said. I smiled at the thought. Has it been three months already? “Do you have any plans?”
“He’s gonna take me out on the boat,” I said. I smiled at all the plans we actually had. A moonlight picnic on the sea and a night out under the stars. Everything I ever wanted.
“That sounds nice,” she said. “I heard he got you something pretty nice.”
I felt my anxiety rise when she said that. I had figured we were doing gifts and I loved giving gifts, but I didn’t receive many growing up. My family was poor and getting things we didn’t need to survive was like a sin.
“Do you know what it is?” I asked. She shook her head no and asked what I got him. I pulled out a small box and smiled. I had spent a whole paycheck on his gift. It was a nice watch, one that the country club kids wear. I opened the box and let Kie see and she smiled.
“He’ll love it,” she said. I hoped so.
When it came time to exchange gifts, we were laying on the deck of his dad’s ship. The stars shined brightly above us and I laid in his arms. As the waves rocked us, I reflected on the past three months. I smiled more than ever and I couldn’t remember the last time I was truly this happy. While I stared at the stars, he stared at me.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said. I thought I had misheard him for a second.
“They are beautiful,” I said, staring at the sky.
“No, you are,” he said. I turned and looked at him. He looked like he was looking at something precious. I kissed him quickly and placed my hand on his cheek. “Close your eyes.”
I closed them and felt his lips touch my forehead. Then I felt something fall around my neck, a chain. He told me I could open my eyes and my heart stopped. I looked down and saw a cute little compass pendant hanging from my neck. It had a little diamond in the middle and it was so shiny. We had passed this necklace walking around town and I’m surprised he remembered me looking at it. However, I was even more surprised when I remembered the price.
“Now no matter where you are, you can always find your way back to me,” he said. I opened my mouth to object to the amount of money he spent, but he didn’t let me speak. “It’s a gift.”
I held the bag in my hand tightly as I rode on the back of Rafe’s bike, back to my car. I hopped off and smiled at him. I thanked him for the lovely day and walked as he drove off. As I turned towards my car, a familiar set of blue eyes met mine. JJ. I stared for a second and sighed before breaking eye contact and getting into my car. If I stayed any longer I would just die on the inside a little more. I sat there for a moment before speeding away.
The rest of the week was filled with a mix of Rafe and loneliness. There was no real happiness though. I missed my friends, but I couldn’t face JJ. I didn’t fit in with Rafe’s friends and family. Even when I was alone with Rafe, everything he did reminded me of JJ. Finally, Midsummers was here though. I was getting ready at Kie’s and she helped me look my best. I looked in the mirror and I didn’t recognize the girl in front of me. I thought I wanted this, but really it was all just a huge distraction so I didn’t have to feel bad about myself anymore.
“Hey,” Kie said. “I should’ve told you this earlier, but JJ’s working for Heyward tonight. He’ll be there.”
I swallowed hard and just nodded, never taking my eyes off myself in the mirror. Kie knew something was wrong. She placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled.
“You look beautiful,” she tried to encourage me. I said nothing. “Are you ever going to tell me why you and JJ broke up?”
It was a matter of time before she asked. I had broken down in front of her a couple of times, but she never forced me to talk about it. She knew I would when I was ready, but the time never came. I sighed and sat down on her bed. The truth is that I couldn’t even wrap my brain around why we break up. It all happened so fast.
I loved spending time with him. The waves used to be my only found freedom, but something about JJ made that seem like nothing. He was the only thing that made me feel this unstoppable. I walked up the path to the beach, board under my arm and smiled. When I got out into the open, I looked around. JJ was already there, hair wet from the ocean. He was talking to this girl. She looked around our age, only I could tell she wasn’t from around here. Whatever she was saying to JJ was making him laugh. I felt jealousy well up inside of me, but I pushed them away. JJ wasn’t someone who would cheat on me. I walked up to him, a smile on my face.
“Hey,” I said. “Am I late?”
“Right on time actually,” he said and slung his arm over my shoulder. The girl took the hint and walked away, but she was the first of many. In the upcoming days, I saw more and more girls around JJ. I never said anything though. I trusted him.
A few weeks had passed since the girls first showed up. We were all together at the boneyard. The party was raging and I sat next to JJ. Something seemed off. I knew he had just gotten in another fight, but he never spoke of it. I wondered if it was with his dad, but I didn’t want to pry too much. I held his hand and tried to comfort him, but he just pulled his hand away from mine. I frowned.
“Let’s talk somewhere quiet,” he said. I smiled and nodded. He had held back from me for too long, we always told each other everything. I held onto his arm as we walked. I used him to help me walk straight. We had both had a couple drinks, but only I was feeling it. When we made it back to the van, he sat across from me. “Let’s not do this anymore.”
I felt my blood run cold. Nothing had ever sobered me up so quickly. All I could do was stare at his face and listen to him explain.
“I wanna see other people,” he stared. “I’m not the relationship type. I don’t wanna hear bout how your day was or tell you bout everything in my life. I don’t need a therapist.”
With every word, my heart sank further and further into my stomach.
“You’re suffocating me,” he said. I just nodded and pulled my knees into my chest. I could feel the tears coming as I looked down at my knees. He mumbled an apology and left me there. He left me alone to think about how I destroyed our relationship. I was clingy, no I was suffocating. All the days spent together were too much. All the nights we slept side by side were nothing. I felt like I was going to be sick. Now I felt like I was suffocating.
“Y/n,” Kie said and I snapped out of it. I felt my breathing slow back down to normal and my shoulders slumped. All the thoughts that I had locked away flooded my mind. I ruined us. “I’m sorry I brought it up.”
“I’m fine,” I said in the most convincing way I could. I pushed the hurtful thoughts away and finished getting ready. My hair was in loose curls and my makeup was done in a light and natural manner. I was ready to go to Midsummers.
I met Rafe in the lobby of the country club. He looked kind of handsome dressed up and waiting there for me. I blushed as he told me that I looked beautiful. He offered me his arm and I took it carefully. We walked through the doors together and all eyes were on us. It was like they were all thinking, one thing here is not like the others. Rafe smiled at me though and assured me that it wasn’t anything to stress over. For a moment I felt like Cinderella. I was the one they had never seen and dressed up in clothes that looked like everyone else's, but it was all fake. I danced around with Rafe and Topper without a care in the world, but then a familiar pair of blue eyes caught mine. He stared at me like he didn’t know who I was. I broke eye contact first and went back to dancing, only this time my thoughts ran rampant. Was me being here too suffocating for him? Did I just ruin everything I touch? I excused myself for a moment, needing air.
I found myself in the gazebo. The outdoor lights twinkled around me. My head was screaming from the endless thoughts. I just wanted to know what I did wrong.
“Kie told me to come ask you if you were okay.” I heard a familiar voice ask. I turned to see Pope standing in front of me. “If this is about JJ, he regrets it.”
“I don’t want to talk about JJ,” I said.
“We miss having you around,” Pope said.
“I don’t want to suffocate anyone,” I said. His posture softened. He didn’t know how to make me feel better. It just wasn’t Pope’s thing.
“He gets scared when people start getting attached,” Pope said. I didn’t want to hear it and tried to walk past him. He grabbed my arm and kept talking. “He pushes away when people get too close. He doesn’t know what else to do. In his fucked up mind, that's the best option. He doesn’t want to destroy lives and he thinks of himself as a ticking time bomb.” “Pope stop!” I said, tears filling my eyes. “I’m the time bomb. I ruin everything and maybe he saw that! Maybe he saw that I’m someone who isn’t worth wasting time on!”
“Y/n…” It wasn’t Pope this time, it was JJ. My head shot around to see him and tears streamed down my cheek as I freed my arm and walked past both of them.
I made it back to Rafe and as soon as he saw me he pulled me aside. He wiped the tears and asked if I was okay. As he brushed his thumb across my cheekbone, he stared at me. I told him I wasn’t okay. He cupped my face and told me I was doing great. He told me to ignore everyone else. Then, he leaned in and kissed me. I pushed him off of me and felt my chest get heavy. I muttered out apologies, but it was too soon. I couldn’t do this. I ran around the building and got into my car. I couldn’t breathe as I turned the car on. I sped out of there so quickly that it must’ve looked like I had just committed a felony.
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Seo Changbin// Sugar and nuts (and a little bit of spice)
Stray Kids Christmas Series
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Scenario: (Inspired by ‘the Nutcracker’) Everybody knows the story about Eric and Clara, yet no one seemed to be talking about Changbin and Y/n who were the ones who put up the real fight against those who try to ruin Christmas for decades. What happens when Y/n gets sucked into the world where the palace walls are made of candy canes and the water is sugar sweet? Genre: Fluff/ angst Tropes: Strangers to lovers | The Nutcracker!AU Pairing: Nutcracker!Seo Changbin X Sugar Plum Fairy!Reader Word count: 11,3K (I tried to keep it short as well what is happening to me-) Warning: abandonment, death, themes of depression
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You searched for you keys in your purse as you were about to close the café you worked at. You were lucky that it wasn’t the worst job in the world. Yes, some customers were a pain in your ass. Yes, impatient customers could walk off a cliff for your care.
Heavy sighs were let out by you as you made your way to your apartment. Yet again you were on the search for your keys in your purse that seemed to be bottomless. You made a mental note to yourself to tidy up your back in the future as you entered your place. You were greeted by your cat Milo who purred loudly when he saw you. He ran up to you and started to rub himself onto your leg, leaving many white hairs behind. Making you groan slightly. “No, these were my only good pair of jeans.” You whined as you scratched behind your kitten’s ears.
You dropped your bag down on dropped yourself on your couch.
Living along wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Not having a family to go to when you felt lonely was a different story. Your family had left you in an orphan when you were young. Through the years you had finished school and become an adult and there was no one who wanted to adopt you. You had always wondered why your parents gave you away. You went on a long search and eventually found out through one of the caretakers at the orphanage that your parents were both terribly ill and that they needed all the money to take care of each other, they didn’t wanted to pain you with the burden of taking care of them at such a young age. The same caretaker who told you about this, took you to the cemetery where they were buried together. They hadn’t won the battle against the terrible illness and sadly passed away.
Your heart felt heavy since that day, but there was a certain weight lifted of your shoulders, since you understood that your parents didn’t had a better choice. The caretaker made sure that you knew that they wanted the best for you.
Yet you also wondered why nobody wanted to adopt you. Was it really you? You were always well-behaved and kind to others. Eventually you just gave up and let it be. You started to not care anymore and you focussed yourself on what mattered, which was yourself.
Now years later, you had your own apartment. It wasn’t too big but it was spacious enough for you and your cat to live in. You sooner enough realised that there wasn’t any more food left in the fridge. You groaned to yourself once more and got back on your sore feet. You petted your cat and told him you would be right back. Through the cold and the snow you made your way to the convenience store. You grabbed everything you needed like cat food and of course food for yourself. It was the day before Christmas after all. It wasn’t unusual for you anymore to spend Christmas alone. For a short period of your life you had some close friends who you would spend moments like these with, but they also let you eventually, leaving you all alone all over again.
You thanked the cashier and politely wished him a merry Christmas before entering the cold again. You decided to take a different route back home, since it was already dark and you weren’t feeling like getting kidnapped or dragged into a dark alley by someone. You made your way past some stores and you noticed an unfamiliar store with antiques. ‘Must be new.’ You thought to yourself as you looked through the display. You looked at the opening hours and noticed that they were still open, so you decided to make your way in, you hadn’t had anything better to do anyway that night.
You were greeted by a sweet old lady who instantly made your day, just a kind smile was enough. “What can I do for you dear?” She asked as your eyes scanned the store curiously. “Nothing yet ma’am, I would like to take a look around.” You said formally. “Of course child! Go ahead! I will be closing in an hour though, my husband is waiting for me at home with ‘bulgogi’.” She chirped, which made you smile to yourself.
After looking around for fifteen minutes, you noticed a small diamond necklace. The pendant necklace seemed to be a medallion and you jumped slightly when you heard the woman speak up behind you. “This is a very special necklace. It is rumoured to be found in an unknown castle hundreds of years ago in the west. It has been traded with throughout the years and it eventually made its way here to Seoul. And in my store.”
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“I would like to buy it.” The words made the woman lighten up and she rushed to the pay desk.
You paid the nice lady and then quickly walked back to your apartment. You gave your cat a treat as soon as you set your bags down. You were curious about the necklace and put it one. “A nice Christmas gift from me to me.” You sang as you admired the jewel hanging around your neck. “Does it look good Milo?” You asked him and giggling when he meowed happily in respond. You saw the decoration box still sitting on the ground. You hadn’t had time to finish decorating your house, because works was claiming all your time. You opened it and carefully got out the nutcracker which you heritage from your parents. You vaguely remembered them gifting you this at your last Christmas together as a family. It was the last thing you got left from them and you cherished it dearly.
You placed it on the electric fireplace so you could look at it. The nutcracker wore a blue attire and had a wooden sword that matched the other wooden materials. It was really pretty and you always loved having it around the Christmas days, but the little wooden man seems a little different this time. It might have been the tiredness getting to your brain, but you could swear that you saw a glistering in the wooden eyes of the figurine.
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After you were done finishing up the decoration, you went to take a hot shower that was well-deserved. You were in the shower when you suddenly heard something crash loudly and clatter onto the ground. You shrugged it off and began your night routine. When you entered the living room you noticed Milo staring at you with guilt visible in his eyes. “What did you do?” You asked him carefully and he meowed sadly at you. You looked into the living room and noticed that your nutcracker had been knocked off the fireplace. You rushed to the figurine and it pained your heart to see it broken on the ground. You gathered its arm and the rest of its body and laid it on the table so you could fix him.
You cot a fabric lint and some glue to patch him back up. You wrapped the lint around him as if he had a broken arm, which he did but you know what I mean, to support the ‘healing process. Better known as the time of the glue drying. You left the figurine laying on the coffee table in front of you, so you could keep an eye on it as you sat on the couch with you cat besides you, as you watched a movie. After a while you began to sunk down into the couch and ended up in a laying position with your cat using your chest as pillows. And before the two of you knew it, you fell asleep with the TV still softly playing in the background.
The clock strikes midnight soon after and the sky was clear and the stars were bright. One of the stars popped out of his places and floated his way down to the city with a glistening trail following behind him. The sparkle of light seemed to have a destination and your apartment seemed to be that place. It stopped in front of your window and bumped against it a couple of times, it seemed not to know how to enter your place. It noticed the Christmas lights still being on that were spun around the small Christmas tree you owned. The light formed itself from its star form and transformed into the lights inside. The plan seemed to work
It went back to its magical sparkling form and curiously floated from spot to spot. It looked at Milo questioning, tilting its light body slightly. It rubbed it body over Milo softly, petting him and making the white cat purr in content. The light then hopped from Milo to the nutcracker and touched it lightly, leaving the figurine sparkling. The light then started to notice the medallion around your neck and made its way to it. He did the same thing to your necklace that it did with the nutcracker before floating again. It started to spin around the room frantically, forming a circle light in the air. Until it shot up and shattered into sparks that filled the entire room with a glistering star rain.
You woke up from something clattering against the ground, like earlier that night. But it seemed like  it wasn’t Milo since he was still sound asleep on you. You looked around in shock and just guessed that you dreamed it. Suddenly Milo jumped off your chest and started to hiss at the air. You tried to grab him but he seemed terrified almost. You looked at what he was looking at and you noticed a small creature running on the ground. You yelped and ran around the house to look for something to catch it with, since you didn’t wanted rat guts all over your apartment floor. When you found a little box and a paper to trap him in you tried chasing it. Suddenly the creature turned around and started to run towards you and as you panicked you slammed it away from you.
‘What the fuck is happening?’ You asked yourself as you breathed heavily. As you looked around you saw your lights flickering and things shimmering in the corner of your eye. It seemed like glitter had filled the air, but you weren’t sure what was going on. You focused your attention back down to the creature on the ground, it looked up to you with red eyes and stood on his feet out of nowhere. “What the fuck.” You gasped as you rubbed your eyes, not knowing if this was a dream or not.
When you opened your eyes you noticed the red-eyed creature holding something in his hand. You felt a little dizzy and the room started to look bigger and bigger. You looked at the ground and it came closer and closer, you heard Milo meow at you and you turned to him and he seemed to be getting bigger ang bigger as well. Or was it you shrinking? ‘No, it can’t be.’  You tried to convince yourself. The rat in front of you now seemed to be the same size of you and the more you looked at it, you noticed that it carried a sword around its middle.
“Not so though now, are you little girl.” The rat suddenly voiced, making you feel terrified. He whipped out his sword and pointed it against you. “Where is he?” “Who are you talking about.” “Don’t play dumb with me child. I know you’re hiding him somewhere.” “Sir- thing- I don’t know what you’re talking about-“ “I don’t have time for this.” The rat growled before he pulled his sword back and stepped forward to pierce the weapon through you. You thought this would be the end and so did the rat, but when you didn’t feel anything you opened your eyes and you noticed a pink transparent shield-like light in front of you. You looked at the sword that the rat held, he stared at you silently as he had an angry look rested on his face, it was completely bend and it didn’t seem like it had touched you in any way.
He almost seemed frozen in time and after a while you started to believe he was. You was about to move, when suddenly a booming voice scared you.
‘United at last. Those who wear the necklace of bravery shall carry it to the palace and return the necklace to the Sugar plum fairy, who shall lift the curse of evil and bring peace and an end to the never-ending winter era of the kingdom of Maney. The carrier must protect it whilst they return it to their rightful owner.’ The voice spoke loudly through the room, making Milo run away scared.
As soon as the voice faded away everything had its movements back and you quickly stepped out of the way from being pierced to death. The rat growled and grunted as he tried to attack you again, but you got into position and fought back. You threw a hit against its nose and he started to squeak as he grabbed the painful part of his body, trying to rub off the pain. When the pain apparently had faded a little he was about to reattack. He had you in his grip as he used his tail in his advance, he was about to make his move when suddenly, he seemed to be frozen again in time. This time you didn’t see the pink shield protecting you, instead you looked down and saw something pierced through the creature.
Sooner enough it fell down and someone behind him was revealed to you. “Nutcracker?” You asked in confusion. “Hi, Y/n.” He simply said in a deep voice. “Wait you know my name- that shouldn’t concern me right now I remember. What the fuck is going on? Why am I talking to you? Are you alive? What’s happening?” You frantically panted as you still tried to take in the whole situation. “We really don’t have much time, all I know is that you’re chosen and that we need to get going.” The wooden man stresses as he grabbed your hand and was about to take you somewhere as you ran across the floor of your now huge apartment.
“Wait- I don’t know you! I don’t know where you’re taking me and you still didn’t tell me what’s going on?” You yelled in pure frustration. In the mean time you cat had creeped up behind you and started to protect you from the nutcracker. Even though Milo hissed loudly at the nutcracker, the wooden man somehow calmed your cat down and started to purr at the man. You were a little shocked, especially when the nutcracker climbed on top of your cat. “What are you-“ You were cut off by growls and screams that were coming towards you. “Trust me.” A familiar glister was seen in the nutcracker’s eyes, you hesitated for a second, but you also didn’t wanted to die right there and then. So, you took his hand and he smoothly raised you on top of your cat’s back.
You saw the rats coming your way and you held onto Milo’s name tag to stay on him as he wiped out the rats below you. You suddenly heard more screaming and you saw your Christmas tree shaking as the angels and little men climbed down. There were no words to describe this madness as Milo run around, hissing at almost everything he saw. Suddenly he stopped at a wall and wiped out some more bad rats and he bend down, letting you and the nutcracker slide off him. “C’mon, through here!” The nutcracker yelled as he ran towards the mousehole in your wall. “Wait? I have holes? What about Milo-“ “He will be fine! The rats won’t stand a chance!” You took one more look at Milo who actually seemed fine, before you ran after the wooden man into the unknown.
A bright light blurred your vision as you ran after the nutcracker. You tried to protect your eyes from the lights before you bumped into the hard frame of the nutcracker who had stopped moving out of nowhere. You stumbled back and fell down and you felt something sharp stuck on your robe. It was a shard of one of your fallen Christmas baubles. You quickly grabbed it and defended yourself with is when the nutcracker had turned around. “Where have you taken me-“ “Y/n calm down-“ “Tell me-“ You were cut off by yourself as you looked at the view in awe that was in front of you.
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There was a frozen lake with a white frame of snow around it. The weather wasn’t cold, even though it seemed like it. The sky was a dark blue shade and the white snow contrasted beautifully with it. The air smelled sweet and you shot a confused look towards the nutcracker because of it. “Welcome in the Kingdom of Maney, where the world is made of deliciousness.” The wooden man said. “Wow, it’s amazing here.” “I know and I will tell you more sooner, but right now we have to hide from those rodents if you want to live.” The nutcracker grabbed you by the hand and lead you to a big tree. He pulled a brand and you heard something unlock. A robe fell down and he helped you climb up. Sooner enough the two of you heard the rats rushing around and yelling that they were on the look for you.
When they were gone you let out a sigh, since you held in your breath when they inspected the tree. They couldn’t see you fortunately. There was a platform made and it was covered with leaves and branches to camouflage the hiding spot.
You sat down with a sigh and stared at the nutcracker, waiting for the answer. “So where are we.” “Like I told you, we’re in the kingdom of Maney.” “The kingdom of what?” “The kingdom of Maney. Maney is a Persian name that means ‘eternity’ or literally “One who stays forever. The kingdom was once named by our great king after he saved it from everything that was evil. He named these grounds ‘Maney’ because of the one he loved the most and he wanted to stay here forever.”
“So what happened to the kingdom?” You asked. “Years ago, maybe even a hundred, the king’s daughter became greedy and ignorant. She was bad for the kingdom’s being since she took everything from the poor. A rumour said that one day a suspicious looking man went to the princess to make a negotiation. His lands were in need of food and he offered her a mysterious and rare bottle that contained magic. The princess was about to agree with the offer but she saw the creatures face. She had insulted it in disgust and it took revenge on her by wiping her out, in that way also taking over the palace and following the kingdom as well. And so we ended up in this icy war.” The nutcracker explained. “This sounds an awful lot like the nutcracker story, with Clara and Eric.” You whispered to yourself. “Funny that you mention them actually, because the so-called Christmas story is real.”
“Wait, in the story wasn’t the curse lifted at the end of the story?” “That’s what the people made out of it, in reality Clara had betrayed Eric, who had just transformed back into his human form. Clara wasn’t as brave as everyone thought and she had made a confidential deal with the rat king, who eventually exposed her to the villagers. They were then never seen again. So, the curse never was lifted.” He said in a sad tone.  “Wow, Eric must’ve been devastated.” “He was, he couldn’t believe that she would betray him, only because she wanted to go home. He thought that he had kept her well and safe.” “You seem to know a lot about him.” “Yes, I knew him before he disappeared. Well, I met him briefly one time, but I can’t remember it. Ever since I came to this universe, I can’t remember things well.” He admitted.
“This universe? You’re meaning to tell me that you’re actually not from here?” “Well, I’m not sure where I come from. I just know that I haven’t always been here.” “Have you always been like this? A Nutcracker?” “A Nutcracker? Oh, yeah. I also forgot to introduce myself. My name Is Changbin, the Nutcracker I guess.” He chuckled as he stood up.
“We need to get moving, there is a place where we will be safe. We’ll need the help of my friends to finish this task.” Changbin said, whilst opening a secret opening in the tree. There was a backpack hidden there and he slung it over his shoulder. He helped you onto your feet before pulling you close. “Hold on tight.” He whispered as he had wrapped his arm around you. You clung onto his jacket as you suddenly fell down. Changbin landed safely onto his feet as you, in the meantime had wrapped your legs around his waist, which was actually quite tiny compared to his broad shoulders.
Your heart fluttered a little the action and you tried to get it together as you and Changbin started to travel. “So, can you explain to me why I’m here?” “The medallion you’re wearing is one of the reasons. The medallion choses someone who seems worthy of ‘Peyvand’. The one who is united and brave they say will safe us all. She’s also called the sugar plum fairy, you might now the name form the stories about Clara and Eric.” Changbin explains as the two of you kept walking.
You looked down at your necklace, you knew that there was something about this necklace that was special.
“There were a lot of people who have tried to defeat the rat king, but none of them were worthy enough. We have been living in this icy world ever since.” Changbin added. “Why me?” You asked Changbin, feeling scared. “I never know why someone is chosen, you just are unfortunately dragged into this mess.” Changbin sighed. “What happened to the other’s who have failed?” You asked Changbin carefully. “Do you really want to know?” He asked in responds. “Yes.” “They faded into the distance and never returned to the light of day.” He muttered with a heavy chest.
He turned to you to look for a reaction, but there was non to find. “Y/n, I know-“ “I’m fine with that.” You blurted out shocking Changbin. Through the years of him leading people to the castle he had never met someone like you. “What do you mean?” “I mean, I don’t know if you know me, but I don’t have anything to live for. My job sucks, I have no family. If I die, I wouldn’t care honestly.” You said in all honest. Changbin looked at you with a worried expression on his face. Even though it was stiff because of the wood, you saw the horror in his eyes. “I promise to stay with you through every fight.”
Usually when people promise you to stay with you, you wouldn’t believe them, but a certain tone that laid on Changbin’s voice as he said it fluttered your heart rapidly. It made you a little emotional, but you sucked it up and went on with the unknown journey with Changbin by your side.
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As you kept walking, what felt like hours after a while, you started to feel a little overwhelmed. You didn’t know how to find that fairy Changbin had told you about and what you would have to do when you confronted the rat king. Your mind was clouded and your heart was racing. Changbin didn’t seem like the talkative type so you kept your thoughts to yourself. He noticed you breath quicken and assumed that you were cold, since you were walking around in a nightgown and a robe. He took off the fluffy jacket that he was wearing and that you were too familiar with. Changbin was your nutcracker after all.
“Thanks.” You whispered. “No problem. I think we should make a camp for the night, we’ll have to travel some more in the morning, but I bet that you’re tired it has been a long night after all.” He states in his deep voice as he started to walk towards a cave in the distance.
When you arrived Changbin took out a blanket and a pillow for you to sit on and to keep you warm. It was getting night after all. You noticed the longer you stayed in the kingdom or Maney, the colder you got. “Your body is getting used to our universe, I’ll go get some wood to make a fire. Stay here, I’ll be back.” “I can come and help you.” You said whilst standing up. “No, you don’t- “Yes, I do, you’re hurt remember?” Changbin looked at you confused and then remembered his arm. “It’s fine.” He tried to say. “No it’s not, you and I both know that regular paper glue won’t do the job to a ‘figurine’ like you.” “What do you mean a ‘figurine like me’?” Changbin asks with a soft chuckle. “You really think that I have more nutcrackers who are alive- wait no don’t answer that.” You laughed before you and Changbin went on the search for wood. You sooner enough found some dead branches, that turned out to be liquorice.
“Is everything in this world made of candy?” “Almost everything, the people who here live aren’t obviously, but most of the land is. It used to be even more beautiful, but as you can guess the rats have ruined everything.”
Right now you were sitting with Changbin in a cave, a small fire keeping you warm whilst you sat under a blanket with a piece of bread in your hands. “Don’t you want some bread? Aren’t you cold?” You asked him as you handed him the bread. “I’m made of wood, I can’t feel warmth or cold, but thank you.” He said.
Later you started to yawn and you began to lay down on the cold floor. You hugged the blanket tightly and curled yourself into a ball near the fire. Changbin saw and he felt like doing something about it. Usually, when he had to lead the carrier of the medallion, he let him or her be. He wanted to get his job done and be disappointed over and over again, yet you seemed different. The fact that you didn’t mind dying set him to think. He was unconscious when not in this state of being. He was now free to walk around and to think. He had no idea how long he had been like this, a nutcracker, but he was sure that he hadn’t always been a wooden figurine.
Changbin saw you asleep, shivering from the cold floor underneath you. Changbin got on his feet and he carefully snaked his arms under you. You woke up from the sudden movements, but you were too tired to protest. With you in his arms, still the blanket around you, he laid down on his back and laid you on his chest. He was cold as well, but much warmer than the frozen ground. He laid the pillow back under your head before you made yourself comfortable. “I might not be very soft, but I’m a lot warmer than that freezing floor.” Changbin whispered. You hummed in content before you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep.
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The next morning you had woken up early. Leaving Changbin alone in the cave. When you, carefully, went outside you noticed a frozen lake and you were curious so you went to take a look. When Changbin woke up and he didn’t felt you asleep on his chest he shot up and frantically looked for you in the cave, only to hear you squealing outside. He hurried his way outside covering his eyes from the low sun as he looked at you slide around on the icy lake.
“Y/n! Please be careful!” Changbin stressed as he saw you slip over the ice. You were too busy laughing and moving over the ice to hear him. When you saw him you smiled brightly and told him to come and join you. He hesitated at first but your smile did something to him that made him feel like melting and joined you. He carefully stepped onto the ice and slid his way to you. He started laughing as he tried to chase you. The two of you had a great time and eventually took one another’s hands to twirl over the ice. What you both didn’t notice, was a little spy eyeing the both of you. 
The white mouse had hidden itself behind a bush, blending beneficially with the snow. It spun its bow and arrow and aimed it to the ice where the two of you were sliding on. Sooner enough the arrow shot through the air and it landed into the ice, cracking it forcefully in process. You and Changbin stopped your movements in shock when you hear something crack and before you knew it the ice broke under Changbin’s feet and he sunk down immediately. You panicked and frantically made your way to him, carefully though so that you wouldn’t fall into the ice-cold water. You saw Changbin frantically waving as he tried to keep himself above water, you grabbed his good hand and tried to keep him above water. 
“Save yourself and travel to the east, you will meet my friends and they will help you find the fairy.” Changbin coughed as he tried to swim up. You were struggling to keep him above water and you started to cry in pain. You were cold and battling to keep Changbin as much out of the water as you could. “I’m not leaving you behind!” You yelled as you tried to pull him out, making you squeal in fear as you almost slipped into the water with him. Right now you were on your tummy, still holding onto him as if you were rose and he was jack from the titanic.
“You are the chosen one, you need to keep the medallion save and bring it to the fairy!” He cries in stress as he wanted you to stop crying and just let him be. “I’m not leaving you!” “I’ll be fine Y/n, let go.” “I’m not letting another person leave me like that.” You cried.
Changbin’s strength was quickly weakened by the freezing temperature of the water he was frantically swimming in, sooner enough he lost all of his strength and he let himself sink. You tried to keep him above water, trying to keep hooked on your arm that was under his armpit. He held him tightly, but you too were feeling tired. All of the sudden, your mind had seemed to go blank and you let yourself slide into the water, following Changbin. When you were entirely in the water your medallion started to light up without the two of you knowing.
The murderous mouse watched in shock how the lake lightened up in a bright pink light, a big crash was heard and the ice seemed to crack, even brighter light beams seemed to break through and it blinded the mouse, making him look away from the scene. When it looked back, he saw that the entire ice was ruined and that the light had disappeared as well. He had no idea where you two had gone too, but he wanted to assume that you two were wiped out like he was assigned to do.
In the meantime as the mouse tried to escape from the crime scene, you and Changbin were somehow on the edge of the lake, both laying completely drenched in the snow. Changbin was the one who woke up first, he breathed deeply, but unsteady as he tried to recap what just had happened. He looked around and remembered being under water one second, he didn’t know how he got on land, but the only thing that mattered to him right now was that you were in danger.
You laid next to him, the necklace you wore around your neck was suspiciously glistering, but he shoved that idea to the back of his head as the most important thing to him right now was that you might had water in your lungs. Changbin wasn’t sure what to do. He had never been in a situation like this before, he tried to perform CPR on you, but it didn’t seem to work. He started to bring you in his lap and he was about to weep, he was stressed and he couldn’t lose you. You woke up in his embrace whilst coughing up some water that didn’t belong in your body. When you caught your breath you simply looked up to him and took his hand. “Thank you.” You whispered. “I should be the one thanking you, you saved my life.” Changbin muttered back. “I meant for staying.” “Always.”
You and Changbin dried yourselves up with the blanket you still had laying at the campfire before the two of you got going again.
On the way, there were more traps and people who bothered the two of you on your way. You saw that Changbin was getting annoyed and you tried to calm him down. “This has never happened before, they never attacked us, why would they now?” He asked himself. You couldn’t give him an answer but you knew that it was going to be a hectic day.
You were growing tired and Changbin had noticed. He knew that you both still had about a five-kilometre journey. When he stopped out of nowhere to put down stuff you thought that he wanted to camp for the night, instead he handed you the gear and told you to wear it. You wanted to whine, but you felt bad for him because they must’ve been heavy. When you put the back on and was about to keep on walking, you were stopped by Changbin who stopped right in front of you. “What are you doing?” You asked him whilst chuckling. “Let me carry you, I know you’re tired.” He says. “No-“ “I don’t take no for an answer, you saved my life, I’m going to take care of you now.” “You’ve done that the whole trip, what do you- Changbin!” You squealed at the end when he easily swept you off your feet and onto his back. You were about to protest but he had a tight grip onto your legs as he kept walking. You would sigh and rest your head on his shoulder as he walked for the both of you now.
You had no idea what kind of an effect on him, but it made him wonder how you managed to do it. The years he had spend as a wooden figure, he had never felt this many emotions or this strong. He could physically feel his chest tightening at you contact.
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About an hour had passed and you woke up on something soft and comfortable. You thought that you were on your couch in your apartment and that this whole situation was a weird dream, but when you stretched your body you felt something unfamiliar above you. Your head shot up, making you feel dizzy in process. You looked around and saw that you had found yourself in an unfamiliar room. The room was filled with weapon and other fighting equipment. You were very confused and you just wanted Changbin by your side.
You called out his name as you put on your shoes and your robe. You found yourself in a random house and you didn’t know where to go. You decided to make your way down stairs and you could hear people talking. You looked some things that you could easily grab if you needed to defend yourself before you listened to them speaking. “Are you sure?” A male voice asked. “I don’t know, she’s different from the other’s that I have led through this. Besides, the rats were actually attacking this time, the other times they seemed more held back?” You heard Changbin say. “Maybe they were tired of their little game and wanted to spice things up?” A different, yet another male voice said. “If the rats were trying to mess with us, they would’ve plundered us like they usually do. They’re up to something this time.”
You hadn’t noticed but you had accidently revealed yourself to the group of boys as you tried to take a sneak peek at them. When they noticed you staring you yelped quickly and went to grab the sword that was hung on the wall. “Y/n-“ “Stay back! I’m not afraid to use it!” You yelled to a freckled guy. “Y/n it’s okay, these are the friends that I’ve told you about.” Changbin said as he quickly made its way to you. You looked at the other guys in suspicion, they seemed ‘normal’ compared to Changbin, they had a weird vibe to them, but it might just feel like that because you woke up in a stranger’s bed. “So, you’re the famous Y/n Changbin has been talking about.” Another guy says.
You were just so confused and still quite tired at that moment you just looked lost at Changbin. “Go freshen up. You slept in my room by the way, I wouldn’t put you in a stranger’s bed.” “Did you carry me all the way here?” You asked him whilst yawning. “Yeah, you were sleeping the whole way through.” He laughed. “Hold up, you’re telling me that you carried the little princess all the way here?” A guy who looked older than Changbin questioned shocked. “Yes?” You were about to leave and let them and discuss their ‘problem out on their own’, but comment the stranger made you feel addressed by his words.
“She must have told you to carry you, didn’t she? I have a bad feeling about her, she’s been putting you in danger and you can’t see it. We’ve been through this.” “Chan, it’s really not like that-“ Changbin said to the guy who apparently was named ‘Chan’. “Then tell me what-“ “We were getting attacked, by who knows what. We were playing around on the ice and well, we sunk through it. She saved my life. The least I could do after such an exhausting act is carry her here.” Changbin voiced sternly as he stood face to face with Chan.
Chan was left speechless and you walked up the stairs with a smirk on your face.
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Later that day you were introduced to the guys and visa versa. They had told you how they had protected this village even before the rats were ruling the kingdom. You knew their names by now and you helped them out with preparing food for later that night. Each of them told you their story about how they became a stray. They are used to wander around places and not settle down to them. They told you as well how they met each other, a couple of guys who ran into each other by coincidence, or was it?
They also told you the story about Clara, how she faked being the princess and the sugar plum fairy. It had caused the kingdom to fallen back into its spell. The kingdom needed a fairy who had a pure heart and genuine feelings to help, care and love those around him or her. “Well, I guess that isn’t me then.” You joked as you took another bite of your food. Everybody, but Changbin laughed at your joke. He on the other hand looked at you in all seriousness. “Don’t say that, you’re great! You saved my life remember? You’re doing this even though you know this could possibly take your life!” Changbin’s words set the other guys to think, whilst it left you speechless. Your heart fluttered at the compliment and you only could hit his chest playfully as you felt a little awkward.
Suddenly a big crash outside was heard and you saw the guys quickly assemble their weapons and got into position to fight whatever was outside. In the meantime, Changbin had led you to his bedroom and told you to stay there and hide until someone was to come and get you. At first you wanted to do as he said, but when you heard the guys growl and grunt as they fought the rats you decided that it was enough. You picked up the first sword you found and stormed downstairs. You stood eye to eye with yet another rat like you did the day before yesterday. This time, the black rat  had bright yellow eyes and it growled at you as he saw you holding a defence mechanism.  
You swung your sword against the rat’s skin, carving deeply into the creature as you moved it swiftly. The rat was quickly taken out as you moved your way outside. The place where the house of the Stray Kids stayed, seemed to be in a greener area than the snowy ones that you had been traveling though the past few hours.
The rodents were frantically attacking, obviously not having a thought-out strategy that they had prepared. You could hear the guys grunt and you went towards them, as you made your way to the you struggled against some rats and you could hear Changbin call out your name in the distance. You head-bumped one of the rats and punched the other in his nose, making them both yelp out in pain. You took your sword and swung the heavy metal once again.
When they had fallen down in defeat you looked at Changbin who stared at you in shock. “Wow.” Was all Changbin could say before his focus went from you to yet another rodent who tried to make his way to you. Both yours and Changbin’s reflexes were quick and you both pierced the beast at the same time, making it drop to its knees as it breathed his last breaths.
Sooner enough the army of rats were wiped out and you were all panting from exhaustion. “I didn’t know you could fight like that.” Changbin chuckled whilst catching his breath. “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me Binnie.” You laughed. “But you look so sweet, I could never fight someone like you.” “I might look sweet, but I can be spicy.” You teased. “Still, I should call you something like Sugar to keep the sweetness on you, I can’t believe this.” Changbin said dramatically. “I should call you nuts then, because you’re being ridiculous.” You laughed before pushing him playfully.
You didn’t notice the other guys coming towards you, but they noticed Changbin acting different as he was around you. As if the wooden outside finally didn’t define him. “What the fuck happened?” Chan stressed. “They never come here, we live on the ownerless part of the kingdom.” “It’s her, this all never happened before she came her.” Minho sneered. “Guys this isn’t her fault, the rats are up to something, we just don’t know what, but we do need to find out what it is.” Changbin defended you. The guys were still confused, but they obviously wanted you gone.
“Changbin I think that we should get going.” You whispered to him, touching his arm carefully. You felt his tensed body relax at your touch and he agreed. “Remember guys, she’s the chosen one.” Changbin’s words seemed to have an effect on them and you could hear Chan groan before they agreed on coming along on your quest to find that darned fairy.
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After hours of traveling, you came closer and closer to the castle. You were all hidden behind a bunch of bushes where you tried to recap your plan. “Y/n, how were you going to defeat the rat king?” Jeongin asks curiously. “I don’t know, doesn’t the fairy has to do that to lift the curse? Where do we find him or her anyways?” You asked in return. “Wait aren’t you-“ Jeongin was cut off by Chan’s hushing and went immediately quiet.
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A couple of rats passed by and fortunately they didn’t notice you. They were headed to the palace that was placed on the edge of a cliff. You could overhear the rats talking about the princess being locked away, as soon as you picked the information up you quickly made a plan to safe her and break her out so she could lift the curse and end this madness.
You didn’t know where to go, but the high tower seemed suspicious to you. It would be the perfect place to lock someone away. The windows had bars in front of them, so no one was able to climb out. Felix claimed to see a female silhouette though one of the windows and it gave you enough information to make your way to it and safe whoever was locked up there.
The way inside was quite easy, Changbin joked about throwing a piece of cheese and crackers their way to distract them. You all gave each other a wondering look and before you knew it, were the rats chasing the cheese. You wanted to laugh at their stupidity, but you kept it in and sneaked past the gates with the others.
No one seemed to be inside. And the way to the tower seemed way too easy. You felt suspicious about this, especially when you reached the tower room. You opened the room carefully, and saw the female sitting near the window, her back facing you. “Miss.” You whispered, your sword in your hand ready to be used. When she didn’t react, you removed your hand from your sword and mindlessly walked towards her.
“Y/n, no!” You could hear Chan yell, but when he did you had already touched the female’s shoulder, who suddenly fell apart. A harsh gust of wind hit you all and a bright red light appeared into the room. You heard the guys groan in discomfort. When you had turned around you saw them frozen up with a red glow around them.
“Well, well. I never thought I would get to see the sugar plum fairy with my own eyes.” A sudden shrill voice boomed through the room. In the shadows of the room you saw two red eyes appear, when it walked closer to you an old white rat stood in front of you. It wore a royal cape and a crown on his head. You assumed that this was the rat king, especially on how evil looking he was. “Wait, what do you mean? Y/n isn’t the Sugar Plum Fairy.” Changbin trailed off. “She is little nutcracker, haven’t you seen the amazing power she hold with that necklace on her?” The rat king stated with a smirk.
“Wait, you’re really telling me that you didn’t knew, Changbin?” Chan said dumbfounded. “Well, no! I’m sorry I was too busy traveling and protecting her.” “You got it wrong there Mr Wood. Y/n saved you.” The rat king added with still the same stupid smirk on his face. “No-“ “When in her apartment, she froze my best guard in time, so you could kill him. At the lake, where you were sinking to the bottom of the lake, she sunk into the water with you and used her powers to safe you.” Changbin and you looked at the rat dumbfounded, his words seemed surreal, but he was right.
Changbin remembered the two bright pink lights that only appeared when you were around. He then realised how stupid and ignorant he had been. If he would’ve been more careful you wouldn’t have been in this situation. “Y/n, I’m-“ “It’s a little too late for apologies, isn’t it Changbin? Or should I say prince Changbin, brother of prince Eric?” The rat smirked. Everyone gasped and all of Changbin’s memories seemed to flow back. His brother who had failed his quest and was cursed because of it, dragging his family along with him, causing Changbin to become who he was right now. “N-no it can’t be.” “But it is little nutcracker.” The rat king laughed, he snapped his fairy fingers and it made Changbin flinch in pain. “Don’t hurt him!” You yelled, running towards the rat to defend Changbin, but sooner enough you were hold back by a tight pressure on your throat. The rat didn’t touch you, but he had snapped yet another time, causing magic to perform out his will to stop you. “Don’t interfere little fairy, or you won’t ever see the day of light again.” The rat growled lowly. “I wouldn’t care sewer rat.” You spat back with the little air you had left.
The rat shot his focus towards you and now had his actual hands on you. “You think you’re so tough little fairy, that you’re the bravest of all. Yet you are trembling on the inside, you’re terrified of me. You aren’t worth the medallion, you will fail just like the others before you. You will lose everything you have.” “I can’t lose what I don’t have bastard.” You sneered before your medallion started to shine brightly again and you could hear the magic chain around your neck break and sooner enough you had your hands on the king’s.
Guards who were hiding in the shadow came to light and held you back from the king, them using their swords against you, cutting you in your back as they did. You could hear Changbin yell in pain to you as you were cut in the back, causing you to fall down as well. Held up in front of the rat you held your head up high as you grinned, blood on the corner of you mouth as you did. “Aren’t you a tough little one, let’s see how tough you are without that little necklace of yours.” The rat grinned before he was about to snatch the necklace off your neck.
“Not on my watch.” Changbin growls, he sound of his sword being raised out of it’s case ripped through the air as he swung it towards the rats’ heads. Many of them fell down, the floor sooner enough turning red as well by them. The other rats threw you down harshly before attacking Changbin. The other guys who were free as well ran to help Changbin and the others came to you to help you.
The rat king had enough of the games and he ripped of his cape. He spoke out words that sounded like gibberish, sooner enough the windows broke and the bars around them had fallen down. As soon as they did, the rat tried to push you out and let you fall to your death. Changbin saw and he quickly slammed the rat against the wall. As Changbin had done that, the rat had shot the shards of glass towards you. You held up your arm in reflex and then screamed in pain as most of them carved into your skin. Changbin’s heart ached badly as he heard you scream.
He could also hear Chan call out for him, he looked to his side as he kept fighting the rat to keep him in his place, he quickly caught the dagger and pierced the metal through the skin of the beast. There were tears of worrisome in Changbin’s eyes as he looked the rat deeply into his eyes. The beast only laughed maniacally as it made a simply hand movement that caused the room to be filled with air. The rat disappeared suddenly in the wind and he heard you scream loudly. He looked around and locked eyes with you as he saw you fall down from the tower.
Changbin screamed as well and frantically tried to make his way to you and to grab you. He didn’t hesitate to jump after you. The time seemed to be freezing as the two of you fell down the tower together. He felt your tears against his frame as you fell down under him. He had his hand reached out to you, in the hope he could grab you and save you. You hands were reached out to him scared of losing him because of you. Just before you two touched the ground, Changbin could just barely touch your fingertips. 
After that a bright light came from the two of you as you hit the ground, the light spread quickly like a result of an explosion, causing the boys to cover their eyes to not be blinded by the flare. When they guys had hurried their way to you, they saw you laying on your back next to each other. You seemed fine, but the both of you seemed to be glowing with a pink gleam. The two of you opened your eyes and groaned in pain.
“Is it over?” You asked. “I think it is.” Changbin says whilst standing up quickly so he could inspect your back. “It looks pretty bad, it needs medication by instants.” Changbin mutters worried. “Why did you jump?” You asked him in a weak voice, he stopped his movement and turned you around so you were now laying on his lap and facing him.
“I couldn’t let you go just like that. I promised to stay with you through every fight, I wasn’t going to let this one change that.” Changbin says whilst crying. “You’re crazy.” You chuckled weakly. “Please don’t leave me.” Changbin whispered in pain as he saw you in pain. You touched the medallion you were still wearing around your neck after he said that. “This necklace is supposed to take me home, but I feel like my heart already is. I want to stay by your side Bin, I have nothing in my universe. You had been nothing but kind to me, unlike the people from my world. You’re an angel to me and I would be crazy to leave you Changbin. My prince Changbin.” You said as you took his hands in yours, kissing his fingers softly after you spoke.
Yet another bright light came from your necklace, this time a little creature made of light was formed out of the flare. It hopped around and soon rushed in circles around Changbin, making a curtain of bright light around him and lifting him up, causing you to sit up straight. The light became brighter and brighter, another gush of wind was created and blown you away. You held yourself as you tried to adjust your eyes to the brightness. The light then shot up into the sky, making your eyes follow it in curiosity. When you looked back to Changbin, his hard-wooden frame was replaced with a toned, but softer frame. His face seemed softer and his eyes were livelier. He had returned back into his human form, making the other’s gasp.
You tried to stand on your feet but quickly failed, causing Changbin to catch you in his strong arms. “You’re human.” “I told you I hadn’t always been a nutcracker.” He chuckled. He jumped at you hugging him and he quickly, but carefully, hugged you back since he hadn’t felt one in years. “I can finally feel your warmth against mine.” He mumbled in the crook of you neck as he nuzzled himself into it, making you giggle.
“Guys, I love this sweet moment, but I don’t think this is over.” Minho yelled, swords were soon enough heard again and Changbin let you go to help the others. The rat king had returned. He looked scarier than ever. He stood alone in front of you all with nothing but a psychotic smile one his face, his eyes burning bright red as he made lightning fast moves with his hands and attacked you and the others with his magic.
Since you had found out through the rat king that you were the sugar plum fairy, you realised that you were the one who was supposed to stop him. You grabbed a sword from a fallen rat guard and sneakily made your way to the rat king. You ran to him and stabbed the sword all the way through the beast with force as you yelled loudly. After twisting the sword you thought that it finally was over when everything stopped for a moment. Instead, the beast turned around very slowly to your shock and you eyes it speechlessly. It moved at the speed of light and his claws had found your neck. You were in need for air as he ripped the medallion off your neck, causing you to gasp and Changbin to yell out your name terrified.
The rat opened the medallion and sooner enough threw it to the ground and smashed it. “I don’t like happy endings.” It whispered before letting you go. You looked at your hands and you saw yourself fade away. “Y/n! No!” Changbin cried out as he ran towards you. You looked at him and told him calmly that you would be fine. Your hand was reached out to him, but before he could get to you, you had already disappeared out of his world.
He felt like his was shattering apart as he was now left behind with the rat still laughing maniacally. Changbin’s anger build up and he growled and cried out as he turned to the rat, his sword still held in his hands as he impaled the beast one more time with his sword. This time, it seemed to have an effect on the beast.
It crumbled down and fell to the ground, Changbin wasn’t paying attention to it, he was too busy crying his heart out for losing you. You were the cause that he was back to normal. As Changbin cried, a bright light came out of the rat. It seemed to crack open and the rat literally broke down to ashes as the light broke through. The sky turned from its dark blue shade to a lighter tint. The snow quickly melted at the sight of the sun and the trees regained their colour.
“Changbin, thank you.” A familiar voice said, causing Changbin to look up with teary eyes to the man who suddenly stood in front of him. “Who are you?” He asked the old man. “I’m the keeper of the Kingdom of Maney, some call me a wizard, others call me a king. I call myself an old man with a sense of responsibility.” The man said with laughter, “Wait, the curse is lifted?” Jeongin asked. “It is indeed.” The white-haired man said to the younger boy. “Y/n did it.” Chan whispered in disbelief.
“Actually, Changbin did too.” Everybody looked at the man like he was a madman, which he probably was. “What do you mean?” Changbin asked the man. “Y/n wasn’t the only one who was the Sugar Plum Fairy, you were as well, Changbin.” The man stated, making Felix and Hyunjin almost burst out in laughter. “Wait, what-“ “The sugar plum fairy is supposed to be someone who is brave and united. If you can remember Changbin, when you met Y/n in your lively nutcracker form for the first time, my voice boomed through the room about the chosen one.” “That was you- wait, I thought Y/n was the chosen one?” “Y/n was indeed the chosen one, she was chosen to be the protector of the medallion and return it to its rightful owner, which is you. Y/n was indeed worthy of Peyvand, she didn’t hesitate to save you or to give up her own life to save others. You as well didn’t hesitate to jump after her to try and save her, which proved that you were worthy of Peyvand. Together you were united with this worth to save us and lift the curse.”
“Okay, but where did you come from?” Changbin asked still a little confused. “You and the guys know how the rats had taken over the city, their leader had discovered dark magic in one of the sewers they lived in and he practiced it until he had mastered the art and eventually took over my consciousness.”
“Those rats are scarier than we thought.” Hyunjin muttered as he looked around the battlefield. “Wait, but what happened to Y/n?” Changbin asked, his heart racing at the sound of you name. “Our young nutcracker has fallen in love with his other half, hasn’t he?” The man teased, making Changbin’s ears turn red whilst denying. “She’s fine, she might be scarred on her back from the swords for the rest of her life, but she’s healthy and safe back in her own universe.” “Does that mean I won’t ever get to see her again?” Changbin asked him carefully and sad.
The older man didn’t respond immediately. He bend down first to grab the necklace of the ground. He placed it in Changbin’s hands and covered it with his own. The man closed his eyes and Changbin could feel something tingling inside of his hands and he saw little light beams shining through the openings. When he opened his hands the now-repaired necklace was revealed.
“I will give you a choice. In return for your bravery, I can send you to your other half, you will have to life in her world, where you’re not familiar with their habits and way of living. The other choice is, to stay with us and live in the palace where you will be praised and celebrated for the rest of your life, in a familiar world with people who you had already met on your journey. But the choice is up to you.”
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You had woken up, the air punched out of your lungs as you had fallen onto your back. You groaned as a sharp pain shot through it. You heard little paws running over the floor and you opened your eyes, the roof and the decoration made you realise where you were. You were back home, or did you never leave?
Whilst inspecting your outfit you realised that you were still wearing your nightgown and robe. The movie wasn’t playing on the tv anymore and it was already daylight by now. You tried to rethink what the hell happened, but you couldn’t remember. You did remember the fighting and the fantasy universe where you stayed in. You remembered Changbin, you wondered what he was up to. You weren’t sure if it was all a dream or not, all you knew by now was that it was Christmas day and that you needed a shower.
When you were done showering the steam had cleared up and worn off the mirror. As you passed by you noticed a scar on your back. It was rather large and weirdly placed. You tried to figure out a different way other than a rat cutting you with its sword on your back to get a scar like that. You just shook it off and went to your regular morning routine. Eventually you were bored out of your mind, so you petted Milo and decided to go on a walk since you hadn’t had anything better to do.
The air was cold and the city was decorated beautifully. You made your way to a lake, which reminded you off the lake where you and Changbin slid on, before you were tried to be killed. The sun was still rising as you enjoyed your view at the lake. The sun’s beaming light made something shimmer in the white snow that caught your attention. You looked towards it and you saw a pink glistering, which made you got up to your feet immediately. You kneeled down to take a better look, it was your medallion. ‘How did it end up here?’ You wondered, it was laid in a part where you hadn’t walked, your footsteps didn’t match the ones of the person who left the necklace there. You took the necklace in your hand and put it on.
As soon as you did you noticed a familiar figure walking closer to you. He smiled at you and you couldn’t help but tear up a little. “Changbin!” You yelled happily as you ran into his arms. “Missed me sugar?” He whispered into your hair as he held you tight. “Is this real, was everything real?” You asked him as you examined his face, cupping his cheeks into your hands. “It is.” He chuckled as you squeezed his face a little too hard, making him pout. “How did you get here?”
Changbin told you about the man who appeared out of the rat. How he gave Changbin a choice to let him join your world and live in the unknown with his better half or to life in a familiar world where he would be celebrated for the rest of his life with his friends by his side. “Why didn’t you stay? It’s isn’t called Maney for nothing.” You gasped. “I promised you to stay by your side through every fight. You told me how you’ve been surviving in this world and I will be there by your side through every step. I’m not leaving you Y/n, I promised you that. I’m here to stay with you, as a villager and prince of the kingdom of Maney, where they stay forever, they stay true to their promises as well.” Changbin whispered as he had wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him.
“What about the kingdom? What about the boys?” You asked him worried and feeling guilty for having him here by your side. “I think they will manage the kingdom perfectly fine. They might be strays, but they are good people. They will rule greatly and keep peace, I’m sure of that. But for now, I missed you my sweet little fighter.” Changbin cooed as he hugged your once again. “I missed you too Binnie.” “You do realise that you’re the first person who I have feelings for right?” Changbin chuckled. “I was aware.” You giggled back as you felt his breath on your neck, tickling it in process. “What were you going to do about it?” He questioned playfully, making you smirk. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned in close to connect your lips to his. The snow that was softly floating down from the sky making the moment even more perfect, Changbin pulling you even closer and kissing you deeply.
“I don’t think I have my sense of feeling back yet in my lips, can we do that again to test it?” Changbin joked. “You’re nuts.” You laughed in disbelief. “You love me though,” He smirked, still his hands placed on your lower back as he pushed you closer against him. “I do.” You smiled to him before connecting your lips back to his.
He was there to stay and you were sure that you two would be for the rest of your lives.
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Gif isn’t mine. 
62 notes · View notes
lonelypond · 4 years
Text
By Moonlight
Love Live, NicoMaki, 1.3K, 1/1
Summary: A breakfast meeting, a bold thief, a balcony... and Nishikino Maki and Yazawa Nico sparring.
Nishikino Maki smiled at her father. And his recently promoted Chief of Security, Captain Yazawa Nico, glaring from behind his right shoulder. Her weekly breakfast visit had been providing an amusing opportunity to tweak both of them since she’d moved into her own private, midsize city tower. They were never happy to be left out of her planning. Maki’s head of security, Sonoda Umi, rolled her eyes whenever Yazawa suggested elaborate schemes or messaged over pages of diagrams and just invested in really solid locks. Yazawa had really bought into the Nishikino overdo everything aesthetic, Maki thought as she stared at the tiny, toughened soldier with gold epaulets the size of a fist on her uniform shoulders. The table in front of Maki was a poignant illustration of her privileged origins. While children starved outside the walls, the menu her father had ordered had food enough for 8 people, of which she had eaten not even enough for one. Maki preferred dining experiences that left out the advice “for your own good.”
Her father cleared his throat, knowing his daughter well enough to realize he’d lost her attention. “It’s too dangerous. That jewel thief is still out there, mocking everyone. A party will draw attention to you.”
Maki laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder, dramatically, knowing she would capture Captain Yazawa’s eye. “I like attention. And I trust MY security.” 
Yazawa growled as she gritted her teeth. It was adorable, the way her luminous crimson eyes narrowed, a caricature of the intimidation she might be hoping for. But there was no real threat behind them. Maki had seen those eyes in nearly every mood, and never had she felt anything less than safe. 
“Well, at least lock up your jewels.” Her father continued in his most serious voice, “This ‘Crimson Kestrel’ deviant took the entirety of the Minami heir’s jewel case while she slept last night.”
That was news. Maki tapped her spoon impatiently as her glance flashed to the right, her own eyes narrowing as Yazawa started fidgeting. Last night. Maki had had plans, but nothing had come of them. Now she had a clue why.  She cleared her throat.
“Is your promotion keeping you busy, Captain? I rarely see you anymore except at these appointments. Does my father allow you any free time? You must remember you now have a position in society. Leisure activities allow one to keep sharp and maintain the necessary social connections.”
Nico flinched. Maki felt a twinge of guilt, but it she had been up very late the night before. Waiting.
“I assure the Princess that once I have everything here running on my standard, I will once again be making sure her dance card is not just full of the silly scions of overbred bloodlines.” Nico bowed. Maki grimaced.
“Military uniforms were a sure way to land a spot on a young lady’s dance card in my youth. Fortunately, your mother had different standards.” Maki’s father had his smuggest look. Maki grimaced, eating the last of her scone. She’d had enough of this conversation. 
“I could lend you a few of my best for this party, ill advised as it is.” Nico’s casual at ease stance was belied by the twitch of her eyebrows. “I’m sure it would ease your father’s mind.”
Maki curled a twist of hair, “Umi isn’t worried.” Maki glanced at her watch and stood, “As a matter of fact, I’m a little behind schedule, so I must run. Thank you for breakfast, Papa.” Maki leaned down to kiss her father on her way out the door, swooping in so swiftly Yazawa didn’t have a chance to back up, “Please take care of yourself, Captain.” Maki stumbled slightly, but avoided an outright fall into Nico’s arms, only brushing her shoulder, “Sorry.”
“Not a problem, my Lady.”
                                                            ###
Maki hadn’t been pacing the balcony for long, when it happened. The kestrel call, the swoosh of the tiny kestrel flying across her view, and then, when the distraction was over, the Crimson Kestrel, perched on the balustrade, balancing somehow, short skirt blown shorter by even the slightest puff of wind, a grin that carved out a mood of pure midnight mischief, beaked mask adding a predatory thrill matched by the sharpness glinting deep in the crimson pools smirking at Maki. 
Maki leaned next to her late night visitor, “No sleeping maidens to creep on tonight?”
“That happened while the family was at dinner.”
Maki shrugged, enjoying the breeze. The band was playing one of her favorite tunes in the ballroom behind her and the Crimson Kestrel had scooted just a little closer, puzzled.
“You’re never this relaxed at a party.” “I cancelled the party.” Maki yawned, humming.
The Kestrel tilted her head, midnight black tendrils flying out, her voice soft, as if eavesdroppers lurked, her tone suspicious. “I hear the band.”
Maki chuckled, “I kept the band” She leaned her head, nudging the Kestrel’s shoulder, “Dance with me.”
The Kestrel stared for a long moment, taking in every detail Maki had spent so much time one but then shook her head, “Oh, you’re tempting, Princess. A lovely dress to lure Nico, such an enticing offer to join hands, but stepping inside that room is the most dangerous thing Nico could do.”
Patience was a quality Maki was cultivating. Since the Crimson Kestrel had first flown into her life, Maki had slowly realized there would be no taming the stubborn, strong willed, open hearted hero. That wasn’t what either of them wanted. “There’s no door out here, leave when you want.”  
“But I don’t.” Fingers gentle under Maki’s chin, the lightest touch at the choker around her neck, “You are the real gem.”
Maki held the glance that Nico had finally allowed, her ardor bright as a beacon.“That’s not what I see.”
Nico swivelled her legs over the balcony, her gloved hands light on Maki’s shoulders, one sliding toward her cheek, the other down her left arm. A whisper, sensual, drifting along Maki’s bare shoulder, lips barely brushing,  “Nico could do this every night.”
Maki’s sharp musician’s ears heard a wistfulness in Nico’s voice and suddenly desperate for a kiss, she fluttered her eyelids closed, as their game required when lights shone.
Gloved fingertips traced two quick ellipses, around her eyes, just like their own orbits, never quite overlapping, “My Princess, too bold for a mask.”
Maki shook her head, trembling, as Nico’s hand weighed heavy on hers, “I won’t hide.”
“I know.” The kiss was savage, sudden, Maki backed hard against the wall of the tower, Nico’s deft control the only thing keeping either of them on their feet in this dizzying surge of sensation, of want.
“Soon.” Nico whispered a wish, then a name, the rarest of gifts in this joust, “My Maki”.
The kestrel cried a warning as it flew back, and when Maki’s eyes opened she was alone. One hand reached back to the wall to steady herself, the other reaching up to the lighter pendant at her cleavage and the missing choker at her throat. The jewels were gone. Maki smiled. Fewer empty tables outside the walls tomorrow. 
Raising her hand to her hair, blowing out a long sigh, the candlelight glinted off the thinnest copper band around her wrist, a quartz charm carved into the tiniest red feather hanging.
“Soon!” Maki laughed, knowing it had been a promise not a wish, and whirled into the ballroom, tears a diamond flourish as Sonoda Umi frowned from the door she’d been barring.
“Your father won’t like it.”
“No.” Maki hugged herself, imagining dancing here, with Nico, free of subterfuge, spending their nights together and their days fixing the society that men like her father had broken. “But I will.”
Nishikino Maki smiled at her father. And his recently promoted Chief of Security, Captain Yazawa Nico, glaring from behind his right shoulder. Her weekly breakfast visit had been providing an amusing opportunity to tweak both of them since she’d moved into her own private, midsize city tower. They were never happy to be left out of her planning. Maki’s head of security, Sonoda Umi, rolled her eyes whenever Yazawa suggested elaborate schemes or messaged over pages of diagrams and just invested in really solid locks. Yazawa had really bought into the Nishikino overdo everything aesthetic, Maki thought as she stared at the tiny, toughened soldier with gold epaulets the size of a fist on her uniform shoulders. The table in front of Maki was a poignant illustration of her privileged origins. While children starved outside the walls, the menu her father had ordered had food enough for 8 people, of which she had eaten not even enough for one. Maki preferred dining experiences that left out the advice “for your own good.”
Her father cleared his throat, knowing his daughter well enough to realize he’d lost her attention. “It’s too dangerous. That jewel thief is still out there, mocking everyone. A party will draw attention to you.”
Maki laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder, dramatically, knowing she would capture Captain Yazawa’s eye. “I like attention. And I trust MY security.” Yazawa growled as she gritted her teeth. It was adorable, the way her luminous crimson eyes narrowed, a caricature of the intimidation she might be hoping for. But there was no real threat behind them. Maki had seen those eyes in nearly every mood, and never had she felt anything less than safe. 
“Well, at least lock up your jewels.” Her father continued in his most serious voice, “This ‘Crimson Kestrel’ deviant took the entirety of the Minami heir’s jewel case while she slept last night.”
That was news. Maki tapped her spoon impatiently as her glance flashed to the right, her own eyes narrowing as Yazawa started fidgeting. Last night. Maki had had plans, but nothing had come of them. Now she had a clue why.  She cleared her throat.
“Is your promotion keeping you busy, Captain? I rarely see you anymore except at these appointments. Does my father allow you any free time? You must remember you now have a position in society. Leisure activities allow one to keep sharp and maintain the necessary social connections.”
Nico flinched. Maki felt a twinge of guilt, but it she had been up very late the night before. Waiting.
“I assure the Princess that once I have everything here running on my standard, I will once again be making sure her dance card is not just full of the silly scions of overbred bloodlines.” Nico bowed. Maki grimaced.
“Military uniforms were a sure way to land a spot on a young lady’s dance card in my youth. Fortunately, your mother had different standards.” Maki’s father had his smuggest look. Maki grimaced, eating the last of her scone. She’d had enough of this conversation. 
“I could lend you a few of my best for this party, ill advised as it is.” Nico’s casual at ease stance was belied by the twitch of her eyebrows. “I’m sure it would ease your father’s mind.”
Maki curled a twist of hair, “Umi isn’t worried.” Maki glanced at her watch and stood, “As a matter of fact, I’m a little behind schedule, so I must run. Thank you for breakfast, Papa.” Maki leaned down to kiss her father on her way out the door, swooping in so swiftly Yazawa didn’t have a chance to back up, “Please take care of yourself, Captain.” Maki stumbled slightly, but avoided an outright fall into Nico’s arms, only brushing her shoulder, “Sorry.”
“Not a problem, my Lady.”
                                                            ###
Maki hadn’t been pacing the balcony for long, when it happened. The kestrel call, the swoosh of the tiny kestrel flying across her view, and then, when the distraction was over, the Crimson Kestrel, perched on the balustrade, balancing somehow, short skirt blown shorter by even the slightest puff of wind, a grin that carved out a mood of pure midnight mischief, beaked mask adding a predatory thrill matched by the sharpness glinting deep in the crimson pools smirking at Maki. 
Maki leaned next to her late night visitor, “No sleeping maidens to creep on tonight?”
“That happened while the family was at dinner.”
Maki shrugged, enjoying the breeze. The band was playing one of her favorite tunes in the ballroom behind her and the Crimson Kestrel had scooted just a little closer, puzzled.
“You’re never this relaxed at a party.” “I cancelled the party.” Maki yawned, humming.
The Kestrel tilted her head, midnight black tendrils flying out, her voice soft, as if eavesdroppers lurked, her tone suspicious. “I hear the band.”
Maki chuckled, “I kept the band” She leaned her head, nudging the Kestrel’s shoulder, “Dance with me.”
The Kestrel stared for a long moment, taking in every detail Maki had spent so much time one but then shook her head, “Oh, you’re tempting, Princess. A lovely dress to lure Nico, such an enticing offer to join hands, but stepping inside that room is the most dangerous thing Nico could do.”
Patience was a quality Maki was cultivating. Since the Crimson Kestrel had first flown into her life, Maki had slowly realized there would be no taming the stubborn, strong willed, open hearted hero. That wasn’t what either of them wanted. “There’s no door out here, leave when you want.”  
“But I don’t.” Fingers gentle under Maki’s chin, the lightest touch at the choker around her neck, “You are the real gem.”
Maki held the glance that Nico had finally allowed, her ardor bright as a beacon.“That’s not what I see.”
Nico swivelled her legs over the balcony, her gloved hands light on Maki’s shoulders, one sliding toward her cheek, the other down her left arm. A whisper, sensual, drifting along Maki’s bare shoulder, lips barely brushing,  “Nico could do this every night.”
Maki’s sharp musician’s ears heard a wistfulness in Nico’s voice and suddenly desperate for a kiss, she fluttered her eyelids closed, as their game required when lights shone.
Gloved fingertips traced two quick ellipses, around her eyes, just like their own orbits, never quite overlapping, “My Princess, too bold for a mask.”
Maki shook her head, trembling, as Nico’s hand weighed heavy on hers, “I won’t hide.”
“I know.” The kiss was savage, sudden, Maki backed hard against the wall of the tower, Nico’s deft control the only thing keeping either of them on their feet in this dizzying surge of sensation, of want.
“Soon.” Nico whispered a wish, then a name, the rarest of gifts in this joust, “My Maki”.
The kestrel cried a warning as it flew back, and when Maki’s eyes opened she was alone. One hand reached back to the wall to steady herself, the other reaching up to the lighter pendant at her cleavage and the missing choker at her throat. The jewels were gone. Maki smiled. Fewer empty tables outside the walls tomorrow. 
Raising her hand to her hair, blowing out a long sigh, the candlelight glinted off the thinnest copper band around her wrist, a quartz charm carved into the tiniest red feather hanging.
“Soon!” Maki laughed, knowing it had been a promise not a wish, and whirled into the ballroom, tears a diamond flourish as Sonoda Umi frowned from the door she’d been barring.
“Your father won’t like it.”
“No.” Maki hugged herself, imagining dancing here, with Nico, free of subterfuge, spending their nights together and their days fixing the society that men like her father had broken. “But I will.”
A/N: Well, I'm in the middle of three other things but my brain got hijacked last night when I saw @myonmukyuu‘s beautiful Maki and Nico on a balcony art on Twitter  last night so here you go. I've been wanting to put Nico in the masked hero slot for awhile...
Cheers.
12 notes · View notes
let-it-raines · 5 years
Text
Rising from the Ashes (17/?)
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When her husband died, Emma wasn’t sure that she could ever move on. He left her with a broken heart and a baby who was only three-months old. It’s enough to take most people down, to make them not want to keep going, but Emma Swan isn’t most people. She’s stronger than she has any right to be. And after years of heartache, she’s found ways to move on…one of those being in Neal’s best friend, Killian Jones.
As she’s always known, however, things are more complicated than they ever seem to be. 
Rating: Mature
A/N: Remember that thing I said about a happy ending? They’re (and you guys) are getting one💜
Soon! I’m sorry to those I mislead! I didn’t realize that. Oops. They’re getting one when the story is over, I promise 😘
Found on AO3: Beginning | Current 
Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 
Tag list: @ultraluckycatnd @jamif @artistic-writer @cs-forlife @qualitycoffeethings @resident-of-storybrooke @captainsjedi @captswanis4vr @teamhook @ekr032-blog-blog @mayquita @bmbbcs4evr @wellhellotragic @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @shady-swan-jones @snow-into-ash @andiirivera @mariakov81 @shireness-says @kristi555 @facesiousbutton82 @superchocovian @jonirobinson64  @thejollyroger-writer @tiganasummertree @snowbellewells @blowmiakisscolin
“How does that make you feel?”
She cuts her head to look at Dr. Lawrence and the way she’s tapping her pencil against her notebook, the one where she most likely writes down “Emma Swan is crazy” over and over again. It’s what she would write down if she were her own therapist because damn, sometimes she is crazy.
“Isn’t that a little cliché to ask me how that makes me feel?”
She sighs, her shoulders heaving the slightest bit, and she rolls her eyes. She likes Dr. Lawrence. She really does, but sometimes all she wants to do is take that notebook and rip it into pieces. She’s been coming here for two months now, since late February, and April isn’t bringing her any new revelations. Not that she thought therapy would. She just wanted to talk to someone else who wasn’t so emotionally invested in her life, to talk to someone who won’t get hurt by the things she has to say. They’re not all great, and she’s only a little ashamed by that. That’s what she’s supposed to be working on though.
“It is, yes, but I think it’s a legitimate question to ask when you’ve been circling around saying that it bothers you that Killian hasn’t proposed yet.”
Her lips press together in a firm line, a sour feeling settling in her stomach and making it twist into something that has to be unnatural. Feeling this way has to be unnatural. “I did not say that.”
“Not in those words, but you did.”
She sighs again, unable not to, before falling back on the couch and rubbing at her eyes, most likely making her mascara run and create some kind of weird, smoky eye raccoon look. This is a really uncomfortable couch, the cushions almost like rocks. Shouldn’t the thing be more comfortable? Aren’t people supposed to feel comfortable in here? That’s a thing, right?
“I’m not,” she starts, not really sure where the words are going as she uncovers her eyes and looks up at the paneled ceiling. They should do that in the living room. It’d look nice. “I’m not upset that Killian hasn’t proposed. Us getting married has never been a top priority for us, you know? We love each other, and a piece of paper and a diamond ring isn’t going to make us love each other more.”
“But it is more of a commitment.”
“Technically, yeah. With the whole legal aspect and all. I don’t – I don’t know. I want  to marry Killian. I really, really do. And I know he wants to marry me. He’s had a fucking ring for at least five months now, had to have had it for a few months before that, and he’s never asked me.”
“You’ve had a lot going on.”
She chuckles darkly, her stomach untwisting and sending that unpleasant feeling to her throat so that she feels like she could vomit all over the hardwood floor in here. That would probably be an extra fee that insurance doesn’t cover. “What? You mean like my dead ex-husband coming back from the dead, having to explain to him ‘hey honey, I moved on from you and am in love with your friend and can’t make you happy like that anymore. By the way, I realized most of our marriage was shit, but I can’t harbor any resentment toward you because you’re a hero and the father of our kid and have been through more bad things than I thought possible. Plus, you know, I did love you at one point and you’re a nicer guy now.’”
She finishes her words on a long breath, her shoulders releasing some of their tension, before she twists her head to the side and looks at Dr. Lawrence furiously scribbling notes down. Great, she’s probably going to get put into a mental institution now. Can her therapist do that?
Probably not.
God, she has got to get a grip.
And stop on the way home and get something for dinner so her mom isn’t forced to feed her when she picks Henry and Ada up from her house. Killian’s working late on some project with Robin that she cannot wait to be over. She swears that it’s aging him by ten years some days. He’s always so tired and stressed. Sometimes she wonders if he needs a new job, one that’s less stressful and reminds him less of his time in the Navy, but whenever she brings it up, he always says that he’s happy there and that the money is good. She believes him, but it doesn’t keep her from worrying about him and wanting to work on the stress that’s in his shoulders and between his brows.
Dr. Lawrence still doesn’t say anything, and for some reason this bothers her enough to make her keep going, to keep rambling.
“And I guess…things have calmed down now. It was like I was walking a tightrope for a long time, and I wasn’t allowed to trip or fall, you know? Because if I did, things fell apart. I had to be strong for Henry and for Ada. I had to be strong for Neal too. And Killian, even when we were going through that…even when we were going through that rough patch. But I failed, you know? I felt so lost and helpless. Sometimes I felt worthless, which is not an uncommon feeling for me but recently, it wasn’t a usual one. It took me a long time to get over Neal’s death, to get over being abandoned again, and Killian just made me feel so – he made me feel solid. Happy. Good. He was there for me when I felt like I had no one. He listened to me cry over my husband’s death. He listened to me cry over raising a baby alone. He listened to me. And he let me be me, which was something I didn’t have a lot.”
She smiles to herself thinking of it all, of all of the times Killian has been there with her and for her throughout the years, all the way back to them meeting in Oceania and him making her laugh. He’s always making her laugh.
“He’s my best friend on this planet. I can be myself when I’m with him, and he has held my hand through the shitstorm that have been parts of my life, even when I didn’t want to let him. I love him, you know? And I’m badass, by the way. Just thought that needed to be said. I’m badass and totally could have made it on my own, but Killian…with him I get to be strong and independent while also having that hand holding mine for comfort and support. He’s made my life so much better. He’s given me Ada, and really, he’s given me Henry too. So, yeah, I guess I am bothered by the fact that he hasn’t proposed yet. I’m worried that maybe he’s changed his mind again. I shouldn’t really. I know he loves me. He doesn’t let me doubt that. I just…I want to be with him fully. Hell, I want me to not have a different last name than both of my children. I want to marry him, and yeah, a part of me is worried that he doesn’t want to marry me, that everything with Neal has made our entire relationship be altered.”
Once the words are out, she knows that she can’t take them back. She doesn’t want to take them back. This is…this is her life and her emotions and she needs to feel them. It feels really good to say all of that, and honestly, she wants to say more. She wants to talk more about Killian and more about Neal. She wants to go back to what they were talking about last week and how Neal’s moving has affected everyone, especially Henry. She wants to talk about how terrified she is being a parent and putting her kids in such stressful, life changing situations.
She wants to talk.
But the clock on the wall says she only has ten minutes left, and she figures that Dr. Lawrence has to have something to say or else she’s been writing on that notepad for nothing.
She reaches up to wipe her eyes, to wipe away the tears that have been furiously falling without her permission before her hand lands on her pendant. She’s going to have to make herself look less puffy. She doesn’t even remember when she started crying.
“I think Neal coming back has altered your relationship,” Dr. Lawrence begins, and Emma sits up on the couch, straightening out her shirt and her back as she sniffles. “How could it not? Besides the emotional trauma and joy of having him be found alive, it’s completely changed your life. You and Killian are no longer parents to Henry alone. You share that responsibility even if the two of you carry the load. Your ex-husband is no longer a dead man. He’s a real human being with thoughts and feelings that aren’t always going to be perfect, so you have to adjust to that too. For as much change as you’ve been going through, Killian has been going through something too. You have to give him the emotional time to adjust as well because while I don’t know the man, I do know that he cares about you and is probably putting your feelings above his.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe Killian thinks that you’re not ready yet, that he thought you were still going through too much emotional upheaval until you two talked about it a bit – ” she looks down at her notebook, eyes seemingly searching for something “ – two weeks ago.”
Ah, so maybe she does actually pay attention.
“Does that really count as talking, though? I literally just hinted around at it.”
She smiles. “But it’s a start.”
-/-
“Henry, you have got to put your shin guards on so that we can go.”
“I can’t find them,” he shouts back over the railing.
“Of course you can’t,” she mutters to herself, rolling her eyes a bit as she looks down at Ada who is currently banging her hands against the wall and giggling to herself. Kids are so damn weird sometimes. She doesn’t understand what the purpose of banging her hands against the wall is, but if she’s about to have to go upstairs and help Henry find the rest of his soccer uniform, she can’t leave her down here by herself despite how much baby proofing they’ve done.
Her entire house is metaphorically wrapped in bubble wrap, and Ada still manages to find ways to nearly kill herself just by exploring.
This is terrifying.
How is Killian not back from his run and the grocery store yet? He’s already supposed to be here so they can go to the fields together like they’ve done every Saturday this spring. He already missed their usual breakfast, so he really needs to show up soon. Maybe he’s stuck in traffic or there was some kind of freak watermelon accident and there are watermelon all over the road. Or maybe he ran into someone he knows. She doesn’t know, and even though she really shouldn’t be angry at him right now, she’s had a bad morning and needs him.
And she misses him. He’s here, always right here, but he’s felt so distant lately, so far away. She felt so good after her therapy appointment on Tuesday, like she was ready to talk to him and finally fix things and have all of her emotions centered, but she’s barely gotten a chance to talk to him in the three days since. Both of their jobs have been busy, the kids have been insane, and then she had to deal with Neal cancelling his trip into town this weekend. She understands, really, but Henry understanding is different. He misses his dad, and if the hour long phone call last night is any indication, Neal misses Henry too.
Her life is a constant ebb and flow of being all together and all falling apart.
No, her life is good. She’s just been stressed the past few days. That’s all.
“Come on, bug,” she sighs, stepping toward Ada and picking her up, wondering when in the world this kid got so heavy. Ada lets out what has to be an actual, blood curdling scream and starts thrashing around while Emma carries her up the stairs. “Ada, shhh, it’s okay. We’re just going upstairs. You don’t have to have a meltdown.”
That somehow only makes things worse, the cries going up another decibel, and she resigns herself to this as she walks down the hallway into Henry’s room. There are clothes scattered everywhere, his notebooks spread across the floor. When in the world did his room get to be such a mess? He has to clean that tonight or tomorrow. It cannot stay like this.
“I can’t find them,” he whines again, tossing a pair of shoes out of his closet, the pair of converses landing on one of his books.
“Have you checked in your bag?”
“That’s the first place I looked.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” he shouts, coming out past the doorway and running his hands through his hair, yanking at the brown strands. “Why is Ada so loud? Make her stop.”
“I’m trying, kid.”
“Try harder.”
“Hey, no,” she says sternly, trying not to yell to escalate the situation, “you do not get to tell me what to do, especially not being loud and harsh like that. I understand that you are upset and can’t find your shin guards and that your sister is being really loud. I get that. I don’t like it either, but yelling isn’t going to solve any of our problems.”
“Ada is yelling.”
“Henry,” she sighs while Ada lets out another loud cry. Shit, this is not a good day. It’s not even ten in the morning yet. “Ada is a baby. She can’t really talk. You know this. I’m going to text your dad and ask if he knows where your stuff is.”
“How would my dad know if he doesn’t live here anymore?”
Her stomach drops for a moment before she realizes that she used the wrong term for Killian. It’s usually not confusing, but sometimes it’s so easy to slip up like that.
“Your daddy,” she corrects. “I’m going to text your daddy.”
“Killian is not my daddy. He’s my step dad.”
Her stomach really does drop then, a heavy anchor weighing her down and making it nearly impossible for her legs to stay steady and her arms to stay strong against a still wailing Ada, even if her cries are beginning to calm down. What did…what did Henry just say?
Why did he just say that Killian isn’t his daddy? She knew that sooner or later he’d feel too old to call Killian his daddy, that he wouldn’t always call him by the name he started calling him when he was five, but he’s not supposed to be calling Killian his step dad. Yeah, that’s pretty much what he is, technically, but that’s also not what he is. He’s his dad. He’s the man who raised him, and Henry should never think otherwise when that used to be all he knew.
“Where did you learn that?”
“I don’t know.”
“Henry.”
He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest while his lips curl downward. Does she have the most dramatic kid in the world? Probably not. But he seems to be going for that title today. She’s just waiting for him to start crying or throwing things. Or hopefully not throwing things. That would be a disaster.
This day is kind of a disaster.
At least she hasn’t gotten to the point where she has to take away Henry’s games yet.
“My dad told me that’s what Killian is.”
Motherfucking hell.
She’s going to start crying.
And throw something.
Maybe throw Neal. Definitely throw Neal. He’s bigger than her and hundreds of miles away, but she could get it done. She could. Absolutely. All of those stories about mothers raging to protect their children – one of those is going to come true after she figures out what the hell is going on. Neal wouldn’t have told Henry that. He wouldn’t have. But then why would Henry have said that? He obviously knew he wasn’t supposed to tell her before she pushed him into saying it, so he was probably trying to protect his dad.
But why would Neal have told Henry that in the first place when they explicitly told him over and over again that this is how their family situation works?
It must be some kind of misunderstanding. It has to be. Neal wouldn’t do that, and if he did, it has to be a mistake, a slip of the tongue. She’ll call him later and get it all straightened up. It’ll be fine. Right now she really just has to focus on Henry and this situation and getting him to his soccer game.
Swallowing the gulp caught in her throat, she puts Ada on the ground, figuring that’s probably all that she wants to stop this crying, and squats down so that she’s at eye level with Henry, reaching up to brush his hair off of his forehead while he stares at her with those watery chocolate brown eyes.
“Kid,” she whispers quietly, curving her lips into a small, hopefully reassuring smile while she keeps pushing his hair back, “I need you to listen to me, okay?”
Henry nods his head up and down, his little shoulders heaving while Ada has managed to make her way to Henry’s bed and is holding herself up on it. At least she’s not banging on the door.
“Killian is your daddy. You can call him Dad if you want to, if you feel too old to be calling him Daddy. That’s okay. You are a very special kid, and like I’ve told you before, you get to be lucky enough to have two dads who love you and care for you more than anything in the world. Not every kid gets that like you do.”
“But Dad told me when we were on the phone that Kil – that my daddy is my step dad. Like how Ella has a step mom.”
She doesn’t know how to explain this. It was easier when Neal was dead, which is a horrible thing to think. But Henry understood it much more easily then. He embraced it more. Now he’s older, though, and has an entirely different situation for his life.
She wishes Killian were here. He’d help and know what to do and know what to say despite the fact that this would break his heart even more than it’s breaking hers.
“It’s…it’s grown up things. I,” she sighs, running her free hand through her hair and trying to think while her thighs begin to ache from this position. “You know how when we told you about Ada being born, we told you it was because Mommy and Daddy loved each other and that helped to make her?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, back when your dad and I were married, we loved each other and made you so that we could love you.”
“I know.”
She smiles at him again, making sure that her eyes don’t leave his except to glance over to Ada as she plops down on the ground and starts messing with some of Henry’s books. Thank God she’s stopped crying. That was miserable. Her entire life was about to implode in the span of five minutes.
“But then your dad disappeared, and I didn’t have him to help me love you or me anymore. But your daddy came along and he fell in love with me and  with you. And he was around to help you learn how to walk and talk, just like he is with Ada. He took you to the pool to go swimming and to the playground. He went to all of your school plays and all of your birthday parties. He tucked you into your bed at night and read you stories, and he’s spent so much time loving you and me and your sister that I don’t think we can even imagine how much he loves us.”
Henry nods his head, and she desperately hopes that he understands. She doesn’t understand how to explain this without scarring Henry for life about sex when he is so not ready for that. She knows that some parents are fully open with their kids about things like that, but it’s not her parenting style.
“So he and my dad are the same?”
“Y-yeah,” she sputters, knowing that she needs to attack this conversation with a better plan later but thankful that things have seemed to calm down. “They’re the same. They’re both your dads, and they both love you so much that I bet your arms don’t even stretch out that far.”
Henry sticks out his arms to test the theory out, and she can’t help but chuckle at that. He has such childlike innocence and faith for someone who keeps having his life changed and uprooted, and even though she still feels like a frayed wire right now, she knows that she has a set of good kids in her life.
Leaning forward, she wraps Henry up in a hug and holds him as tightly as she can without smothering him. He hugs her right back, and she feels a little of the lead that’s in her stomach dissipate.
“Come on,” she says as she pulls back, “we’ve got some shin guards to find and a soccer game to go to.”
They find the shin guards in the kitchen of all places, and even though they have to practically sprint across the fields to get to his match, they make it in time. She knows a lot of the other parents there, a lot of them have kids in Henry’s class, but she prefers to sit under this tree in the shade with Ada. It’s at the corner of the field, so she still has a clear shot of Henry and he does of them.
Emma: Where are you?
Emma: We’re already at the fields. Hope you get here soon!
Emma: We’ve had quite the morning. Can’t wait to tell you about it later.
She puts her phone down on the blanket and pulls Ada back to her so that she can adjust her hat on her head, making sure she’s totally shaded while she slathers more lotion on her.
“Mama,” Ada babbles, grabbing at her necklace with enough force that she could snap it. Emma has to immediately grab Ada’s hand and move it away before twisting the necklace around so that Ada can’t see the diamonds. “Mama. Mama. Mama.”
“What?” she laughs, scrunching her nose up when Ada tries to grab at it too. “Baby, you’re driving me crazy today. Nothing makes you happy, and you’re going to either rip my nose off or break the necklace your daddy gave me.”
Ada giggles at that, like it’s the funniest thing in the world, and Emma can do nothing more than shake her head as she continues to get Ada’s arms with lotion. She’s wearing a United jersey with Jones written across it that Killian got her. He’s so extra sometimes, and this is a prime example of it.
She kind of loves that.
Plopping Ada down on the blanket in front of her, she snaps a picture of her back with the soccer field in front of her, and sends it off to Killian, hoping that he’ll answer this one since he hasn’t answered any of her other texts and calls. She’s trying to ignore that and convince herself that it’s fine, but there’s this weird, sinking feeling that’s stayed with her all day. Maybe it’s the stress, or maybe it’s something else entirely.
Emma: Henry’s number one fan!
The rest of Henry’s game (or is it match? She’s really not sure.) goes by pretty quickly. He’s at the age where the kids are actually pretty competitive, so it’s not so much all of them running around and kicking balls in the wrong goal as it is them legitimately trying to win the game. Not quite as cute as it used to be, but Henry likes it. That’s all that really matters.
“Did you see me kick that goal?” Henry gasps when he runs over to her after the game, his hair covered in sweat and grass stains covering his knees. “It was awesome.”
“It was awesome,” she agrees, holding her hand up for him to high five him before holding Ada’s hand up so that she can do the same, even if it’s not with quite the same impact.
“Where’s Daddy?”
“He got called into work,” she lies, not too sure how to handle this situation. That seems to be happening a lot lately. “He’ll be home later, though.”
The smile that was on Henry’s face instantly fades, the upward curl twisting down. “He didn’t see my game?”
“No, kid. He didn’t. But he wanted to.”
“He promised that he’d come to all of my games.”
“I know,” she laments, bringing him into her side. Poor kid. Both of his dads have bailed on him this weekend, and she knows that if it’s just today, it won’t mess with him too badly. But if it’s…if it keeps happening, well, it can’t keep happening. She won’t let it keep happening. “But sometimes things happen that make us break our promises. I’m sure your daddy is so sad about not getting to see you score that goal.”
“Yeah,” Henry sighs, his shoulders sagging forward as she starts to pick up all of their stuff so they can walk to the car.
It doesn’t take long even navigating through all of the kids and parents, and soon enough she’s driving out of the soccer complex and on her way home with the kids so that Henry can get showered and Ada can take her early afternoon nap. The music cuts off in the car as a phone call comes in, and she hits the button on her steering wheel to accept Neal’s call, leaving it on speaker since he’s probably calling for Henry anyways. Good. If he can’t fly home this weekend because of work then at least Henry will have this.
“Hey, Neal,” she greets, pulling up to a stop light and inching closer to the car in front of her.
“Hey, Ems. How are you?”
“Good, good. We’re on our way home from Henry’s soccer game. Kid, why don’t you tell your dad what you did today?”
“I scored a goal,” Henry shouts from the backseat, his voice far too loud. “It was really cool. Avery kicked the ball to me, and I kicked it right past the Dragons’ goalie. She couldn’t stop me.”
“That’s awesome,” Neal laughs. She can practically imagine the smile on his face, and it makes something in her heart settle thinking of how much Neal is here for Henry even when he’s physically away.
-/-
-/-
“Come on, Emma, push.”
“I can’t,” she cries, holding onto the handrails over the bed while a contraction roars through her body, making all of her limbs shake as she feels herself shutting down, feels her will to keep going fading. “I can’t do this by myself.”
“I am right here, Hon,” one of her nurses soothes, holding onto her hand even though Emma doesn’t know her name. She should know her name. She’s the woman who is by her side while she delivers her son. If she’s the only one going to be here, Emma should know her name. It’s too painful to ask. “You’re doing just great. So is your baby. His heartbeat is so strong, yeah. He gets that from you.”
“He’s okay? He’s still doing okay? This isn’t – this isn’t hurting him, ah, too much?”
Her nurse squeezes her hand, holding on tightly as she watches people move between her legs. She’s officially had her vagina stared at by more people than she ever thought would stare at it, and even though she doesn’t want to think about that and what’s happening right now, it’s all that she can focus on.
If she doesn’t, she’ll think about Neal.
He should be here.
He should be here holding her hand and helping her through this.
He should be here to hold his son when he’s born.
He should be here.
But he’s not. He can’t help it. He’s training. This is what he has to do. This is his job. He’s helping so many other people, and that’s what she has to remind herself. That’s what she has to keep repeating over and over again as she suffers through labor. Why did no one tell her how much this hurts? They did, but it was in broad terms. It wasn’t like this. It was never described like this. Everyone always glossed over it and told her that it would be all over and she’d have her baby in her arms and that everything would be okay.
How is this okay?
How is any of this fucking okay?
She’s by herself.
She’s alone and has no one here but this nurse who she still doesn’t know the name of to help her. Neal isn’t here. Ruth isn’t here. Neither is David. Or Mary Margaret. Mary Margaret would be good at helping here. She’s been through this. She’s so soothing even when she’s annoying and pushing all of her opinions on Emma.
She doesn’t even have any friends here. All of her friends are mostly Neal’s friends, and she doesn’t know any of them well enough to ask them to be here.
Why didn’t she make more friends? Why didn’t she keep some of hers from freshman year? She had friends, didn’t she? She had people she talked to and got lunch with. She knows that she did. She had to.
She’s been alone for so much of her life, but right here, right now, is the last place she ever thought she would be alone.
She can’t do this. She can’t. It’s too much.
Maybe she’s not meant to be a mother.
She can’t be one.
How could she when she didn’t have one for most of her life?
“I can’t be a mother,” she cries, tears stinging hotly behind her eyes while her contraction begins to wane. She knows it’s only a brief moment of reprieve. Her son is almost here. She knows that he is, that has to be. She’s been suffering in here for too long for him not to be here soon. She needs him to be here. “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.”
“Yes, you can, Sweetie,” the nurse promises her, rubbing her thumb over her knuckles. Neal always does that, and it’s so damn soothing. She misses him. He should be here. She can’t stop thinking that. He should be here. “You can be a mother. It’s just scary right now, but you’re doing great trying so hard to help this boy come into the world.”
“But I’m alone,” she whispers, the words barely escaping her lips before they get captured by a sob, one that moves her shoulders and makes her vision completely blur.
She’s alone.
She thought she finally wouldn’t be, but she is. She’s alone and terrified.
But she’s been alone for most of her life, and the sad truth is that she knows how to deal with it. She knows how to deal with handling things by herself, how to deal with pain and happiness, with loss and with celebration.
She knows.
So she can do it. She can get through it. She has to.
She can be a mother.
She can be a mother for this kid. Maybe even for herself too.
Her eyes haven’t seen this kid outside of a black and white picture. Her hands haven’t felt him move except for the hard kicks to her ribs that have taken her breath away. Her arms haven’t held him except when she’s cradled her bump at night.
She doesn’t know anything about this kid, but she knows that she loves him. She knows that she wants to be his mom and to be there for him for every day of his life.
She knows.
This is her son, and she can do this.
And she does.
Even with the epidural, it’s possibly one of the most painful things she’s ever experienced, and she knows that doesn’t go away anytime soon. All of the books told her that about the recovery. But there was no way they could tell her the pure joy that she feels holding this red, squirmy baby in her arms. He’s beautiful. He’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen in her life, and she made him with her body.
She and Neal made him.
They’re parents. They’re freaking parents.
She can’t wait to tell him, to let him know that his son is here, but right now all she wants is to spend time with her boy, to get to hold him and never let go.
She’s never letting go.
“Hey, Henry,” she sighs, rubbing her finger across his cheek while he looks up at her. He has Neal’s nose. She always thought people who could tell who a baby looked like when they’re born are crazy, but her kid has Neal’s nose. “I’m your momma. I am. You are so precious, and I love you so damn much. I’m pretty sure you don’t understand what I’m saying, so that curse is just between you and me, okay? Yeah? Just between you and me. Your daddy never has to know.”
“You did a great job,” her nurse sighs as she stands at the door. “That’s a good baby with a healthy mom.”
“Thank you,” she whispers, leaning her head back against the pillow. It feels so comfortable, but she’s not ready to go to sleep quite yet. “It really means so much to me to have had someone to hold my hand throughout all of that.”
“It’s certainly not a problem.”
“Hey, what’s your name? I’m sorry I didn’t ask before. I was kind of busy.”
“Ingrid.”
“Thank you, Ingrid.”
Ingrid walks out of the room, and she turns all of her attention back to Henry and the roundness of his eyes, the dark lashes. He’s so bald, but he’s got this one little patch of dark hair. He’s beautiful. Just beautiful. And not crying, which she thinks she likes most of all.
“I think you and I are going to be good friends, kid,” she tells him, letting him grasp onto her finger. “Like, you eat food from my boob, so it’s pretty much a given that we’re going to be close. Just saying. My body has gone through a lot for your existence, and I expect some good mother’s day gifts someday. Your daddy knows what I like. Oh, I can’t wait for you to meet your dad. You’re going to love him. He’s so funny. I bet he’ll make you laugh all of the time, yeah? But not as much as me. Don’t tell your dad, but I’m so much funnier than him. He has no idea.”
Throughout the rest of the day, nurses and doctors come in and out to check on both she and Henry. She knows that she takes a lot of naps, but it’s all a bit of a blur for her as some of the pain starts to kick in and she struggles getting Henry to eat. Once he does, though, she feels like infinitely less of a failure. It’s a weird feeling, being so devastated by something that’s really not in her control, but she has to keep reminding herself that she’s not going to be perfect at this and that things are going to go wrong. Hell, so many have already.
But Henry is here and healthy, and that’s all that matters. That’s always been what matters.
“Thanks for making me not be alone anymore, kid.”
-/-
-/-
Neal and Henry talk for the rest of the ride home, but really, it’s mostly Henry going on and on about his game and saying the same things several times while Neal pretends it’s brand new information to him. When she pulls into the garage, the door shutting behind them, she switches the call to her phone so that she can talk to Neal for a little bit while she sends Henry inside to take his shower, hoping that he’s actually going to wash himself instead of simply standing under the water.
“Thanks for calling him today,” she tells him as she rocks Ada back and forth in her glider, hoping that she’ll fall asleep soon and not have another meltdown. “It was kind of a big day for him, and you have no idea how much that means to him.”
“Of course. He’s my kid. Just because I’m not at home anymore doesn’t mean I’m not going to be there for him.”
Her heart lurches, practically dropping to the pit of her stomach, and she has to hold back the tears that are threatening to push through. That’s literally all she’s ever wanted since the day Henry was born.
“That’s good,” she sniffles, adjusting Ada in her arms. “You’re a good dad. You’ve done such a good job adjusting to being a parent to an eight-year-old who likes to talk back and who you can’t just cuddle with to make them stop crying.”
Neal hums on the other end of the line. “You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You sound a little upset.”
“I – ” she begins, almost ready to spill all of her thoughts to Neal, but she bites her tongue to hold herself back. She’s not about to share how upset she is with Killian with Neal. That’s pretty much asking for disaster. She knows that they have a good relationship, a good friendship, but they’re not the kind of exes who talk about their love lives with each other. Not in graphic detail. They talk about Henry and the movies and old times. She doesn’t tell him her intimate thoughts, not anymore. “It’s been a long day. The kids had me about ready to pull my hair out.”
“Killian didn’t help?”
“He got called into work,” she lies, telling Neal the same one she told Henry earlier. Killian will call soon. He has to.
Neal clicks his tongue.
“What?” she asks, watching Ada’s eyes flutter closed.
“Nothing.”
“It’s obviously something, Neal. I know you. You click your tongue when you have something to say.”
“It’s just that, well, shouldn’t Killian be around for Henry’s soccer game?”
“Sometimes things come up.”
“That’s still a shitty thing to do.”
She huffs, all of that anger from this morning returning as the memories flood back to her brain. How in the world did she forget that she needed to talk to Neal? It’s like she got lulled into some kind of false sense of security and didn’t even realize it.
“You missed his game today too, Neal. For the exact same reason.” She doesn’t know if Killian is at work right now, but that’s what she’s going with. Something must have happened for him not to be here. “And we are far too old to be playing petty games over who is being a better parent to Henry. By the way, where the hell do you get off telling Henry that Killian is his step dad?”
She can feel her voice begin to raise, so she gets up from the chair and puts Ada in her crib, hoping that she’ll fall asleep quickly. When she exits the nursery, she can still hear the shower going, so she walks down the hall and into her bedroom, moving to the bathroom so Henry will be less likely to hear her talk. She can’t begin to count the number of arguments she and Killian have had in the bathroom. They don’t yell too often, but she doesn’t want Henry to hear any of it when they do argue.
Neal still hasn’t said anything, so she asks again. “Why did you say that?”
“I didn’t,” he finally says, his voice completely even.
“Henry told me that you did.”
“He’s a kid. He says crazy shit.”
“He’s a smart kid who only says things when he’s learned them somewhere else. Just admit to it so we can talk about it. It’s already a tricky situation, so we don’t need it to get worse.”
“What’s tricky about it? He’s my kid, and Killian is pretty much his step dad. I mean, you two aren’t married, so not really. But I figured that made it less complicated.”
Less complicated her ass. Why is he being such an ass about this? This is not him, not anymore.
“First of all, he is Killian’s kid too. I have never let Henry think that you’re not his dad. You are. That’s something I’ve made a priority for him to understand ever since he was old enough. But you cannot take away Killian’s right to him as well. Killian helped me raise him, Neal. For most of Henry’s life, Killian has been Henry’s dad too. That doesn’t just change.”
“Well, it’s not my fault that I wasn’t fucking around to raise him.”
“I didn’t say it was.”
“You might as well have, going on and on about Killian this, Killian that. Fuck, Ems. He’s not the greatest man in existence. You don’t have to put him on a pedestal.”
“I don’t.”
“Please,” he scoffs, and she feels acid swish in her stomach, twisting around as she settles down on the countertop next to the sink, her legs like jello beneath her. “You so do. Ever since I’ve come back it’s been all about Killian and the life you share and the daughter you have, like our marriage was absolutely nothing to you. I bet you didn’t even consider taking me back.”
“What the hell is your problem today? I’m trying to talk to you about our son to make sure that he doesn’t get confused, and you decide to be nasty to me? No, Neal, I didn’t really consider taking you back. Life moved on. It changed. But don’t you dare for a second think that I didn’t go through hell trying to figure out how to deal with things when you came home. I nearly lost my mind trying to handle everything. I care about you. You’re my friend, and I tried my best. But there’s no way you could have expected me to drop everything to be with you when I spent years grieving you.”
“I would have done it for you.”
“Bullshit. I loved you, but you never loved me in the same way. I didn’t realize it at the time, but now I know.”
“I think you’re making a mistake being with Killian.”
“I think you’re making a mistake trying to talk to me about this when it’s really none of your business.”
“If it affects my son, it is my business.”
She scoffs, bewilderment inching its way over all of her skin, gooseflesh rising. How fucking dare he try to turn this on her, try to gaslight her. This is what he’s always done. He’s always tried to steamroll her like this. She thought he’d changed, that he’s tried to be better, so why is he being like this? He shouldn’t be like this anymore.
“You know what affects your son, Neal?” she asks, her voice cold even to her own ears. “His dad fucking with how he thinks of one of his other parents. No part of that is okay, nor will it ever be okay. Don’t do it again.”
She hears him say her name on the other end of the phone, but she hangs up before he can say anything else. He’ll call back. She knows that he will, but she’s done with that conversation. It was ridiculous, in every single way. She knew it wouldn’t be comfortable bringing up the whole step parent thing, but she didn’t think it would ever turn into…that.
What the hell was that?
Neal hasn’t talked to her like that since he found out that she and Killian were together. It was harsh, but she understood in a way. Now though, she doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand why he would be rude to her life that, why he would try to make her think that she’s doing something wrong by being with Killian, to make her think that she’s a bad mother. It’s how he used to talk to her, but it’s not how the man she’s known as talked to her ever since he came back.
It’s not supposed to happen like that anymore.
All she wants to do is cry, but she’s too tired to cry. If she starts, she may not be able to stop. It’s all too much. Today has been too much for her, and she still doesn’t know where Killian is, what’s going on with him. In the back of her mind she thinks that maybe she should be calling hospitals to make sure that he’s not in one, but something in her gut keeps her from doing that. She does text Mary Margaret and David, however, hoping that maybe one of them will have the answer.
She needs to know, and worry is slowly covering each inch of her skin.
“Mom,” Henry calls, stepping into her bathroom.
“Yeah, kid?”
“Can you make me a hot dog?”
“Sure,” she sighs, giving him a watery smile and wiping away at her eyes. “Let’s go do that.”
The rest of her day is spent with her kids, trying to entertain the both of them with games and movies, even going outside to play on the play set for awhile. She never hears from Killian, and only Mary Margaret texts her back to say that she hasn’t heard from him and that David’s got a busy day at work and probably won’t get back to her until his shift is over. It bothers her, makes her practically sick to her stomach, but she can’t focus on it as she focuses on making sure Ada and Henry have a good day.
It’s what she has to do if she’s doing this alone today.
That night, after she’s got Ada in her crib, she walks to the next room over and into Henry’s. They both cleaned up in here a bit today, so she doesn’t step over any legos or sharp objects as she crawls into his bed behind him, wrapping her arm around his waist and holding onto her son like her life depends on it.
Maybe sometimes it does.
“What are you doing?” he mumbles, still flipping through one of his books.
“Cuddling with you because I love you so much.”
He squirms, but he still settles into her. “I love you too.”
“What are you reading?”
“Matilda.”
“That’s a good one.”
“I know. I like it. She has magic.”
She nods her head and settles it down onto Henry’s shoulder, reading behind him while he mumbles some of the words out loud. She doesn’t know how she got a kid who loves to read when she remembers hating it at his age, but she’s really thankful for that.
She’s thankful for Henry and how he changed her entire life for the better on the day he was born, how he brought magic into her life in a time that was so dark that even the stars seemed to disappear, blinking out one by one until there was no light left.
Except for Henry. He has always been the light.
“Did you know I love you?” she whispers to him.
“Yeah, you already said that.”
“I know.” She kisses his cheek and holds him a little closer. “It’s just that I love you and Ada so much that sometimes my heart can’t contain it, and I have to keep telling you so that you know how much I love you, how much I’ll always love you forever.”
“I love you and Ada too,” he says simply. She knows that he means the words, but they don’t have the same emotional depth that her words do. Good. He doesn’t need to feel how she’s feeling, like her heart is threatening to break into pieces over how much she loves him.
“And your dad and your daddy love you too. So much more than you even know.”
“I know. Mom, you’re making it hard to read my book.”
Emma chuckles, kissing his cheek again before she shifts out of the bed, figuring that she’s smothered him enough for tonight. Just because she needs to time with him doesn’t mean that he wants it. “In thirty minutes your light needs to be off and you need to be asleep, okay?”
“Whatever.”
“Henry.”
“Okay.”
“Good. Night, kid. Thanks for making me feel like I have real magic in my life.”
“Goodnight, Mom.”
She closes his door behind her and makes her way downstairs, quickly checking on Ada on her way. The house is quiet, only the sounds of the air conditioner running and the refrigerator making ice filling the space. Usually she’d crave something like this. She’d crave having peace and quiet and not having to worry about anything for a little while. She can fix herself a cup of hot chocolate and settle down in front of the television to watch whatever she wants. Those are the nights she craves sometimes, but now that she has one of those, she wants none of it.
All she wants is for this day to be over, possibly for this day not to exist. Frankly, it sucked, and she knows that not everything will be fixed when she wakes up in the morning. She’s still pissed at Neal. Like, if he were home she would probably have the urge to punch him pissed. She’s worried about Henry and how everything is impacting him. She’s already emailed Dr. Hopper today, but sometimes she’s worried that him going to therapy and them trying so much to give him a good life is not enough.
Sometimes she worries that she is not enough.
That she’s not enough for her children.
That she’s not enough for Killian.
He has only made her feel that way once in all of their time together, and she doesn’t hold it against him, not anymore. She understands everything that he was going through. But right now, today, she needs him, and he’s not here.
She falls asleep on the couch, and when she wakes, it’s to a twist in her neck and a twist of the front door handle, Killian coming inside as quietly as possible. At first, she’s relieved that he’s okay, that he’s home, but then she remembers the absolute hell that she’s been through all day without him by her side, without him answering any of her calls.
“Where have you been?” she whispers. She thought the words would be louder, harsher, but she finds that she can barely get them past her lips.
Right now she’s just relieved that he’s okay, that his heart is still beating within his chest.
“Why aren’t you asleep, love?” Killian asks her, stepping into the bright light of the living room so that she can see the red rim around his eyes. “You should go to bed.”
“I’d really rather know why you ignored all of my calls all day long.”
“I’ll tell you in the morning.”
“Damn it, no,” she yells, this time the words coming out as she sits up further on the couch, “tell me now. I’m done being pushed around today. You have been gone. I have been worried. Henry has been worried, and you walk in here at two in the morning telling me that we’ll talk later. No, that’s not how this works.”
Killian nods his head while his lips press together in a firm line. He looks exhausted and like he’s been crying, and beneath all of her anger, she feels the worry for him that she’s felt all day. “You’re right,” he sighs, his lashes landing against his cheeks as he looks at the ceiling before his gaze finally finds hers. “I’ve got some things to talk to you about.”
102 notes · View notes
get-your-fics · 5 years
Text
Duality - Chapter Sixteen
Summary: Your life as Bruce Wayne’s girlfriend was pretty simple, actually. Well, as simple as things can get in Gotham. But it gets a lot more complicated when you meet Jeremiah Valeska, Jerome’s twin brother.
Pairings: Bruce Wayne x reader, Jeremiah Valeska x reader, Jerome Valeska x reader
Series warnings: Violence, language, smut, rape/non-con, kidnapping, stalking, mentions of abuse
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
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You were sitting on the bed, reading a copy of Wuthering Heights Jeremiah had given you to keep you entertained when he wasn’t there, when the door opened. You looked up, expecting Ecco, but you were surprised to see Jeremiah poking his head in the room.
“Hi, darling,” he said with a large grin. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “I know I’m here earlier than usual, but I got something for you.”
You narrowed your eyes when you noticed he had his hands clasped behind his back. You put your book down on the side table and shifted so you were sitting cross-legged. He took a step closer to you. “Are you ready?” He quirked a brow.
You nodded, and then after a second, murmured, “Yes.” You kept forgetting that he wanted you to verbally answer him.
“Close your eyes.” You clenched your jaw before letting your eyes flutter closed. You heard his dress shoes slap against the concrete floor as he drew closer to you. “Now hold out your hands.”
You did as he said. A small object was placed in the center of your palms. It felt soft, like it was made out of velvet. “Okay. Open!” Your eyes popped open and you looked down to see a small, black box in your hands. You looked up at him, confused. “Go on. Open it,” he encouraged you with a wide smile.
You lifted the lid on the box to reveal a necklace. It had a thin, gold chain with a small, dainty, diamond pendant in the middle. Even in the dim light of the room, it sparkled and shimmered with rainbow fractals. No doubt it was the real thing.
“Well, do you like it?” He stared at you with round, green eyes. He looked like an eager, little puppy.
“Yes.” You forced your lips to curl into a smile. “It’s beautiful.”
“But not as beautiful as you, my dear.” He sat down on the bed in front of you. “Here, let me help you put it on.”
He took the box from you, and you turned around. “I thought I would reward you for being such a good girl for me the other day.” He moved your hair out of the way. “You keep it up, and you’ll be out of here in no time.” He clasped the necklace around your neck. “Turn around. I want to see.”
You faced him again, and you had to admit, he had good taste. The diamond laid flat against your collarbone and refracted every beam of light that hit it. His eyes shined almost as brightly. “Gorgeous.” He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “See? Is it so bad when you give in to me?” His hand drifted down to caress your face. “I make it worth your while, don’t I? I take care of you.”
He leaned in and connected your lips. The kiss was surprisingly soft and gentle. His lips moved against yours, and you leaned into the hand on your cheek. He pulled away and whispered, “I love you, (Y/N).” You froze up, unsure of what to say. “It’s okay; you don’t have to say it back.” He brushed his nose against your cheekbone. “Just know that no one else can love you like I do.”
He kissed you again, his hands moving down to your hips. He pulled you into his lap, and you placed your hands on his shoulders. His tongue slipped into your mouth, and you found yourself kissing him back. He groaned and pulled you closer to him until his chest was flush with yours. Wait. What am I doing? This is wrong. He kidnapped me. He’s keeping me here against my will. He wants to destroy Gotham!
Just as you were about to pull away, the watch on his wrist beeped, and he did it for you. He glanced down at his watch, the corners of his lips twisting into a frown. “I’m sorry, dear. It looks like something came up with my work.” He slid you off of his lap and onto the bed. “I promise I’ll come back as soon as possible and pick up where we left off.” He shot you a wink.
He left the room, making sure to close the door firmly behind him. You just sat there on the bed, frozen, staring at the door with wide eyes. You couldn’t stay there another second. You just couldn’t. It was like he was in the air, and with every breath, he infected your lungs and poisoned your veins and infiltrated your brain. You wanted to scream and cry until your face turned red and claw at your throat to get him out. It didn’t matter what you had to do. You didn’t care as long as you got out of there, and you knew you had to do something desperate.
Something very desperate.
You jumped off of the bed and walked into the bathroom with determination. You stopped in front of the full length mirror and took in your reflection. You looked a lot healthier than you had days before: the bruises were fading to brown and yellow, your hair was clean, and a brand new diamond necklace was hanging around your neck. But there was no mistaking the look of fear in your eyes. It would only increase every day you spent in here, or worse, go away.
Your vision narrowed in on the diamond pendant. You wondered what your mother and Bruce were doing. Were they looking for you? Did they know where you were? Did they know that Jeremiah had taken you? You doubted they did, and you couldn’t wait on them any longer. You had to take fate into your own hands.
You ripped the necklace off of your neck and hurled it at the mirror with a shriek. The diamond made direct contact with the mirror and split it down the middle with a deafening crack. It splintered off into little crevices that reached the edges of the mirror. You screamed and punched it with your fist for good measure. It exploded into a thousand pieces, shards of glass raining down on you. You cried as you felt them puncture your skin and looked down to see crimson leaking out of cuts all over you. The white hot pain was too much and you collapsed in a heap on the ground.
You didn't know how long you laid there for, surrounded by bits of shattered glass, before you heard the door creak open. “(Y/N)?” You easily recognized it as Jeremiah’s voice. His tone started out normal enough, but quickly grew thick with uneasiness. “(Y/N)!”
Through your blurry gaze, you made out a large chunk of glass on the ground. You reached out with a weak hand and grabbed it. You ignored the sting as it sliced your skin and tucked it in the waistband of your underwear before he entered the bathroom.
“(Y/N)?” His face fell when he noticed you on the floor. “Oh, my God!” He scrambled over to you and kneeled down next to you. “Oh, my God, what happened?” He looked at the broken mirror to the shards of glass to your bloody body. “What did you do?” he murmured. You expected to see anger in his piercing, green eyes, but there was only concern.
He scooped you up in his arms. “Don’t worry, (Y/N). I’ll fix you.” He lifted you up, and you groaned. “I’ll make you better.”
Your vision was so fuzzy now that you could barely make out red hair and a pale face above you. You let out a squeak every now and then when the shard of glass dug into your hip. You could feel your body being carried, and then the cold metal of a table as you were set down. His hands were off of you, and you figured he was collecting supplies to clean you up. Your head lolled to the side, and you blinked a few times before an object came into focus. It was a map.
But not just any map: a map of the maze.
It wasn’t too far away, just barely out of reach. If you could just buy yourself some time, you could snatch it and make your way out. Your attention was drawn from the map when Jeremiah returned. “Okay, I’m going to have to stitch you up. It might hurt a little bit, but this should help.” You felt his cold hand on your shoulder while the other brought a bottle to your lips. You took a whiff, and the stench of alcohol burned your senses.
You wrinkled your nose and tried to swat the bottle away. “Please, just one drink?” He pushed your hand away and pressed the bottle back against your lips. “For me?”
You knew you couldn’t drink it. Your health was already too impaired that escaping was barely a possibility. All well. Guess it’s now or never. You squirmed until your hand slipped up your dress. Luckily, he didn’t seem to notice the motion. You grasped the shard and summoned every ounce of courage within you before sinking it into his shoulder with a shout.
He roared and stumbled back, clutching his offended shoulder. He lifted a hand and stared at the ruby red blood coating his palm. Without a second thought, you scampered off of the table and grabbed the map. You quickly realized you were back in his lab and limped over to the door. You glanced at the map to see that the door to the lab was marked and a thick, red line was traced from it to the exit: your way out. You followed the map and made a right turn.
"(Y/N)!” he called after you, and you soldiered on. You weren’t very fast, but now neither was he thanks to the glass imbedded in his shoulder. “(Y/N), honey, come back, please!”
You ignored him and kept your eyes trained on the map. It was surprisingly easy to navigate the halls with a guide in your hands. “(Y/N), I’m giving you one last chance to stop running and come back to me!” Your body felt like it was on fire from all of the cuts, but his words merely fueled your desire to escape. “(Y/N), get back here now!”
You turned a corner, and your heart skipped a beat when you saw a neon purple sign proudly proclaiming the word EXIT. A smile broke out on your face, and you rushed forward with renewed strength. You could practically taste your freedom. Mom, Bruce, I’m coming...
Suddenly, a sharp pain blossomed from your neck and spread out to the rest of your body, incapacitating you. You let out a bloodcurdling scream and dropped to the concrete ground, writhing and clutching your neck. The pain slowly subsided, but your limbs still felt too stiff to move. You heard footsteps drawing closer and opened your shut eyes to see two feet clad in black dress shoes stop in front of you. You looked up to see they led to long legs and Jeremiah’s upside down face.
“I’m sorry that it came to this, dear. I really did give you every chance I could to turn back, but I can’t let you leave.” The look in his green eyes was frightening.
“What... did you... do to me...” you breathed out between pants.
“Just a little failsafe I had installed while you were sedated.” He held up a sleek, silver remote. “Think of it as a shock collar, except you can never take it off.”
Warm tears rolled down your flushed cheeks. “You’re a monster!” you sobbed.
He squatted down until the blank expression on his face was inches from you. “I have to say, I’m really disappointed in you, (Y/N). I thought we were making progress, but it looks like we’re back to square one.” His fingers curled around the shard of glass in his blood-soaked shoulder. He barely flinched as he pulled out, tossing it carelessly aside. “But the way you stabbed me... now, that was really something. Maybe you’re more twisted than I thought.”
You gathered as much saliva as you could and spat right in his face. You were horrified to see that it was red. He clenched his jaw and collected your spit with two fingers before sticking them in his mouth. You grimaced as he sucked, humming as he did so.
He popped his fingers out of his mouth and grinned down at you. “Now, let’s go patch you up, shall we?”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
132 notes · View notes
jamaisjoons · 6 years
Text
bloom | pjm
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Summary: Jimin grows flowers in the garden of your chest wrought from the pain of your unrequited love. Hanahaki AU.
Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Genre: Smut, Fluff... lot’s of angst oh boy
Word Count: 15k
Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, Park Jimin in general, switch!reader, switch!Jimin, light fingering, thigh riding, non-protective sex, creampies, and yet sweet, soft sex? 
A/N: I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t inspired by the lyrics ‘In this dream that won’t ever come true, I grew a flower that couldn’t be blossomed’ from Fake Love
Plant
def. put a seed in the ground so it can grow
It’s a cold winter day in Seoul, Korea. The streets are covered in a thick, soft blanket of snow that began settling as soon as the bustle of people that trudged through decreased. Now, there were barely any people outside, you were sure that if you looked out, you could count the number of people easily; which was completely different to what Seoul was usually like. Snowflakes still fall leisurely and the windows are frosted over, the icy glass showing warm scenes of children playing in the snow, or couples walking hand in hand through rows of plum blossom trees that have been stripped bare, instead covered in crystalline flowers made of ice.
You don’t really care to look out, instead you find yourself seated on a sofa, legs tucked under your butt, cup of hot chocolate in your hands, keeping you warm as you snuggle further into the warm quilt wrapped around you. You’re currently in the BTS household, enjoying a happy Christmas day as you sip your hot chocolate and leisurely read your book.
You had been introduced to BTS two and a half years ago, three years after their debut when you’d reconnected with your best friend, Hoseok. You say reconnected, when really you hadn’t lost touch. By reconnected, you just meant seeing each other and speaking a lot more regularly than the previous years. It had just been difficult keeping up regular correspondence with his busy schedule but the two of you had tried, speaking whenever he got some free time. Despite the change from hanging out with him almost twenty-four seven to only being able to speak to him for a few minutes a week, your friendship had somehow stayed strong. The two of you had grown up in Gwangju together and had always been as thick as thieves. Hoseok was like the brother you never had, the only real family you’d had left.
The first few years had been hard for them, you knew it. Hoseok would complain about the long nights and the less than pleasant sleeping arrangements. Sharing a single, cramped room with six other strangers was probably never going to be ‘pleasant’ but somehow it worked. You remembered nights when Hoseok would go on and on about each of the members, all their quirks and habits, things he loved about them and even things about them that annoyed him. Five years down the line however, those very same boys were practically family and you had never seen Hoseok smile as bright as he did when he was with them or even when he was performing.
A year ago, when you’d finally finished university and gained your doctorate, you’d moved to Seoul from Gwangju. Hoseok had been over the moon, bouncing around excitedly at how you’d finally be in the same city and be able to see each other more often. That is, as often as he could fit you in around his busy schedule. You had also finally met the boys, all of you laughing as if you’d known each other for years. Which, you supposed, you had. Hoseok had told you everything he could about them and vice versa. In turn, you had introduced Hoseok to your own best friends. The four girls who you had met during your time in university, who had become your sisters by choice.
So that brought you to today, two and a half years later, a Christmas day surrounded by the ones you loved the most. The smell of delicious food fills the air, Seokjin’s cooking making you salivate as he yells at his girlfriend, Sooji to stop touching things. You roll your eyes at that, wondering why she even bothers. She’s completely useless in the kitchen. You remember that one time she had tried cooking noodles at university but had somehow forgotten the actual noodles. You weren’t even sure how she’d managed that. You stifle a laugh when Seokjin finally kicks her out the kitchen, watching as she scowls before making her way to her other lover, sitting beside Yoongi as he plays the piano. Hae and Taehyung sit on the floor, the couple playing with Yeontan as the pup happily bounces about the two of them, enjoying the attention he’s receiving.
Hoseok’s raucous laughter joins the dulcet notes of the piano as he straddles his girlfriend, fingers wriggling across her sides and drawing out wild laughter from her. She hopelessly calls out to her other boyfriend, Namjoon, for help but her calls fall on the deaf years of the leader currently sitting opposite you; head so far buried into his book that he downs out the commotion around you. From the other side of you, Suri and Jungkook yell and swear, the two of them competing in what looks like a seriously intense match on Overwatch, Jungkook scowling at his girlfriend when she somehow beats him at his favourite game, accusing her of cheating with a pout.
“____?” Someone calls and you’re broken out of your thoughts as you turn around, smiling brightly at the newcomer. Park Jimin stands behind the sofa, peering at you with a large smile that has his eyes wrinkling.
“Jiminie! Hi, is there something you need? Where did you disappear off to?” You ask, shifting slightly when he sits right next to you.
“I actually went to go get my Christmas present for you” Jimin says and your eyes widen in surprise.
“You got me another present? You really didn’t have to” You said shyly, a small smile on your face. All of you had already exchanged gifts; and usually, all of you only exchange one gift between each other. You watched Jimin shrug as he handed you the beautifully wrapped present. the blue foil wrapping glistened in the warm light, gold glitter snowflakes imprinted on them twinkling as you took the present from him, eyeing the intricate bow on the top, wondering if he’d tied it himself. Jimin had always loved giving and wrapping presents.
“I just saw it, and it made me think of you” Jimin said with a shrug, urging you to open it. You carefully pulled the bow apart, peeling away the wrapping paper as you unwrapped the present. You felt your heart quicken slightly at the sight of the jewellery box, carefully opening it with shaky hands before letting out a soft gasp. There, nestled in the velvet box, was a delicate gold chain with a small flower pendant studded with incredibly small diamonds, that sparkled whenever it caught the light.
“Jimin, I-. This is too much” You choked out, trying to hand it back to him. Jimin simply shakes his head, refusing to take it back.
“____, it’s a gift! Like I said, I just saw it and it just made me think of you. Here, let me put it on” Jimin said, cautiously picking up the necklace, gesturing you to turn around. You slowly do so, pulling your hair into a high ponytail so it’s out of his way.
Jimin carefully places it around the column of your throat before lowering it slightly, so the pendant rests between your collarbones, at the base of your throat. You suck in a sharp breath when his fingers brush softly against the bare skin of your neck as he clasps the necklace. You release a breath you weren’t sure you were holding when he finally backs away, smiling brightly as he takes in the sight of the pendant against your skin. He lets out a small nod of approval, smile widening until his slightly crooked teeth are showing.
“I knew it’d look good on you! As if it was just made for you” Jimin chimes, but you barely hear it. Instead, your thoughts are occupied with nothing but him. You had always known he was gorgeous, a male Adonis walking the earth.
But for the first time in two and a half years, you reallylook at Jimin.
His hair is back to its natural dark colouring and despite the amount of times it’s been bleached, it still shines with a certain soft silken quality that you almost find yourself becoming jealous. It currently has a slight curl to it, falling in waves into his eyes and you can just imagine the cute little birthmark that it’s currently hiding. Your eyes dart over his face, taking in his beautiful warm olive skin; he’s currently barefaced, his cheeks tinged a slight pale rose colour, cheekbones almost glowing in the warmth of the light. His eyes are a sharp almond shape and heavily lidded, deep dark coffee irises peep at you through them, eyes twinkling with joy.  You find yourself thinking you like them best when they turn into slits, eyes crinkling in his signature eye smile, because he looks best when he’s happy.
His slightly wide nose sits between his adorable cheeks. They’re currently raised high, like small little mochis under his eyes. You want to reach over and pinch them, because really, how could anyone resist wanting to squish Park Jimin’s cheeks? They’re the cutest thing known to man and even the hardest of criminals would coo at them. You’re sure of that. Your eyes trace down to his full, plush lips. His upper lip is a perfect cupid’s bow and somehow his bottom lip is even fuller than his top. They look incredibly soft and pillowy and you find yourself wanting to pull them between your teeth and nibble at them. But you can’t. So instead, you trail your gaze towards the angular and well-defined curve of his jawline.
When your perusal is done, you conclude that Park Jimin is the most beautiful human to ever walk the earth. Between his ethereal looks, handsome facial features and adorable expressions, he really is an angel.
And it’s like you’re seeing Park Jimin for the first time.
Your chest constricts with a slight discomfort, but you brush it off because you don’t realise the significance of the ache.
You don’t realise that the seeds of love have been planted deep within your ribcage.
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Germinate
def. a seed beginning to grow
A week later is the next time you see Jimin. It’s at a New Year’s Party that the boys are throwing. There are a few idols around that you recognise, but many of them you don’t. Everyone is dressed to the nines and despite your own ensemble consisting of a beautifully crafted forest green floor length dress (a gift from Hoseok, because the man wouldn’t take no for an answer and lovedto spoil you) you can’t help but feel insecure.
Female idols are all around you, their slim and stunning bodies putting yours to shame. But it’s not only that. They look so put together, make up expertly done so you can’t even tell they’re wearing any, skin radiating with a youthful glow and hair falling in locks of silk down their backs. Somehow everything about them is flawless, from their nails, to their hair, to their laughs. Everything is somehow perfect, and they hold themselves with a certain grace you know you’d never have. Somehow, it feels as if you don’t belong here, as if you’re intruding in on a world that will never really accept you.
“____, are you okay? You zoned out a bit” Sooji calls, and you turn to one of your best friends. Her face is morphed into a look of concern but you simply brush her off.
“Oh sorry, I’m fine really. I just spaced out, where are Seokjin and Yoongi?” You ask but she shrugs, letting out a small huff.
“Seokjin is stuffing his face with whatever hors d’oeuvres he can find and you know Yoongi, these kinds of things aren’t exactly his cup of tea. There’s too many people and it’s too noisy” Sooji explains, face softening at the thought of her boyfriend locked away in his room and you nod, sympathising for Yoongi because really, he did try to mingle and interact with others. But sometimes, the crowds and loudness were too much and he needed quiet time to recuperate.
“Oh, damn it, I can see Seokjin and he looks like he’s about to take a bite out of the cake before it’s served. I’ll see you around” Sooji called, waving at you before running off to stop her boyfriend. You rolled your eyes as you watch her scold Seokjin, the latter’s cheeks full of food, making him look oddly like a hamster.
You let out a little sigh before looking around, trying to figure out who to join. There aren’t many people you know here other than your best friends and the seven boys hosting. But as usual, they’ve split into couples. Suri, Hae, Jungkook and Taehyung are speaking to some idols, laughing up a storm and your heart grips with envy at the way the boys hold their respective girlfriends, their fingers rubbing their backs soothingly every so often. It’s a mindless touch, you’re sure they don’t even realise they’re doing it. But you suppose that when you’re in a comfortable relationship, sometimes touches lose their shallow meaning and you do so for no other reason than the deeper comfort it provides you.
Sooyun is dancing with Hoseok and Namjoon and none of them are taking it seriously, you can tell by Hoseok’s highly exaggerated movements and the way Namjoon’s expressions change. Sooyun laughs out loud when Namjoon pulls a particularly racy face as he thrusts his hips, her body falling into Namjoon’s, shaking with giggles. You notice Namjoon’s slightly pink tinged cheeks, but watch as he brushes off his own embarrassment in keeping his girlfriend entertained.
“They’re a cute couple, right?” A voice chimed and you jumped slightly, startled out of your thoughts for the second time that night. You turn to Jimin, brows furrowed slightly before smacking him.
“Jimin! You terrified me, don’t just pop out of nowhere like that” You scolded, Jimin only giggling at you.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you, you were just staring really intensely at Sooyun-ah, Hobi-hyung and Namjoon-hyung” Jimin laughed and you shrugged.
“You’re not wrong, they do make a cute couple. But sometimes I really feel like I’m third wheeling this entire group… or well eleventh wheeling” You replied as you counted the couples, Jimin laughing loudly.
“Well then count me as the twelfth wheel. But I get your frustration, it’s annoying when everyone is paired up” Jimin grins and you feel your heart flutter slightly. He’s dressed in a dark blazer, embroidered with intricate patterns made of silver thread, the look finished with a simple but tight-fitting white shirt and black slacks. His hair is dyed white blonde, in preparation for their newest comeback, and his eyes sparkle, as if they hold a constellation of stars within them. He looks as amazing as he always does, kind of like a fairy-tale prince come to life.
“Yeah it does, especially when they all start trying to eat each other’s faces off” You joke and he grins at you brightly, covering his face with his small, slightly chubby hands before leaning into you slightly.
“____! Don’t let the hyungs or Taehyungie and Jungkookie hear you say that!” Jimin admonished and you feel your heart gripe slightly, the tinkling sound of his laugh filling your eardrums. You’re sure his laugh causes flowers to bloom and angels to sing. You don’t think you’ve ever heard something more beautiful.
“Damn, it’s getting loud! Let’s go outside” Jimin says and before you can protest, he grabs you by the hand and drags you towards the garden. You suppress a slight shiver, it’s still winter in Seoul and the night air is crisp, the hairs on your neck prickling as goosebumps crawl over your skin.
“Sorry for dragging you out here, it’s probably not the most ideal considering the weather but it means we can speak without having to yell. Here you go” Jimin says, shrugging off his blazer before wrapping it around your shoulders.
“Jimin wait, you’ll be cold” You began protesting, trying to hand it back to him, but Jimin just shrugs you off.
“It’s fine! You need it more than me and it’s the least I could do since I basically pulled you out here. That dress is really pretty by the way, I thought it’d look nice on you. The colour really flatters your skin tone” Jimin compliments; your body stiffens and you look at him with wide eyed curiosity.
“Seok bought me this dress, how would you have known it would look nice on me?” You inquire and even under the light dusting of his foundation, you can see his peeks tinge a beautiful pink, a shade of soft peony that has you wanting to reach out and squeeze them.
“Yeah, I was there when he bought it… he said he really needed help shopping for your Christmas present” Jimin confessed.
“I… thank you. It was a good pick” You thanked, your hair falling into your eyes slightly. But before you react, Jimin is already reaching over for you. His fingers brush your hair, tucking it behind your ears.
You suck in a sharp breath and this time, when you shiver, it’s not due to the cold. His fingers are warm against your skin and even that slight skimming of his skin against yours sends tingles down your nerves. Jimin has always been very touchy feely, skin ship is not something he avoids. In fact, you’ve lost count of the times he’s brushed your hair out of your eyes before, lost count of the amount of times you’ve cuddled up against each other or held hands. No, Jimin is very big on skin ship and it means nothing. Which is why you try not to over think the action.
But you can’t help yourself.
Once again, your chest aches, right where your heart should be. This time, it’s a sharp ache and you’re not sure what it means. It’s gone before you can think it over and you brush it off.
But once again, the significance of the ache is lost on you.
You don’t realise that the seed of love has begun to germinate.
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Root
def. to grow roots
Over the next few months, it’s comeback season. The boys are everywhere promoting and yet despite how busy they are, you still see them more often than not. The girls are always dragging you to their promotions, standing in the back as you all watch them either perform on stage, or in a crowd during their tour. Each time, each performance, each interview, you find yourself drawn to Jimin. You hang off his every one of his words, almost squealing when he speaks English perfectly. He’s improved a lot, you note.
You find yourself enraptured by the way his body moves when he dances, each and every movement perfectly calculated. He’s incredibly graceful, moves with the fluidity of water and the sensuality of a seasoned salsa dancer. You’re completely mesmerised by him, your eyes always trained on him, no matter who is speaking. And after they’re done, you find even more of your time being taken up by him. The two of you tire of constantly eleventh and twelfth wheeling, so you find yourself spending more and more time together.
You have known Park Jimin for almost three years now. But it feels like you’re just getting to know him. He tells you about his love for dance, and how he used to excel in school, always the top of his class. You believe everything he tells you because you can see it. He’s always been a perfectionist, always wanting to better himself and somehow it just makes sense that he was a studious person. He tells you about his previous dream of being a police officer and changing the world for the better. You tell him he’s doing more to change the world as a member of BTS than he could have done as a police officer. He blushes, but you know it’s the truth. You wouldn’t lie. Not to him.
Another week later, and the comeback season is finally done, the boys getting to rest for a while before they have to do anything else. That is why you find yourself on the beach on Jeju Island. Everyone is here, Seokjin and Hoseok playing in the water with Suri and Sooji while Jungkook tries to drag Yoongi into the water; the Maknae very easily picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder until Yoongi has no option but to get wet, much to his chagrin. Taehyung and Hae have gone on a short walk down the coastline, Taehyung wanting to explore and find some scenery to practice his photography. A little further away from you are Sooyun and Namjoon, the two walking the rocky tidal zone looking for crabs.
Besides you sits Jimin. He’s the epitome of relaxed, dressed in some boardshorts and a loose short sleeved t-shirt, he lounges against the picnic blanket, body stretched out and legs crossed. He’s leaning on his elbow, wind rustling through his hair but he doesn’t care. His focus completely fixated on the book he’s reading, his eyes darting across the pages. Before you know what you’re doing, you’re once against studying him, your gaze intense as you take in every single detail of him.
“Is there something you need?” Jimin asks, his gaze flicking up to you and you let out a little gasp when you lock eyes. He’s smiling mischievously, the corners of his eyelids crinkling. But it’s the colour of his eyes that have you gasping, the usually earthy irises catch the sun at the perfect angle, causing them to lighten into a beautiful warm honey colour that draws you in. Vaguely, at the back of your mind, you think it feels like sunshine and home.
“I- what?” You ask, slightly dazed. His booming laugh is like being doused by cold water down your back and you shake your head slightly, snapping out of your reverie.
“You’ve been staring at me for the past fifteen minutes, is there something on my face?” Jimin asks curiously, but you recognise the teasing tone. Your skin flushes and you feel your ears burn from embarrassment.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise. I was just lost in my own thoughts” You murmured, looking away causing him to laugh at you again.
“That’s alright, you were probably blinded by my handsomeness. Wow, I sound like Jin-hyung” Jimin teased before catching himself, looking perturbed at the thought of becoming like Seokjin. You supress a small squeak, because even though he was joking, he had hit the nail on the head. You wereblinded by how handsome he was.
“Hey, you wanna go get some ice cream? It’s so hot, I feel like cooling down” Jimin asked all of a sudden as he spots the small café nearby and you nodded, accepting his invitation. Jimin quickly asks everyone if they’d want ice cream, but everyone refuses and so the two of you find yourself walking in a comfortable silence.
“Hey! Can I get a chocolate scoop for me and a cookie and cream, for ____? Oh, in a waffle cone! She loves waffle cones” Jimin requests kindly when you get to the little café. Your head snaps to him in amazement, his smile bright as he hands you the ice cream.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jimin asks, leading you to a table before helping you into the seat.
“You remembered my ice cream order and the fact that even though they’re really messy, I love waffle cones” You reply shyly, Jimin shrugging as if it wasn’t a big deal.
“I know more about you than you realise” Jimin says cheekily, a small knowing smile on his face. Your eyebrow quirks in response as you feed yourself some ice cream.
“Oh really? Like what?” You taunt, and Jimin chuckles.
“I know you hate Jin-hyung’s beef” Jimin deadpans and you choke on your ice cream, looking at him wide eyed.
“W-W-What makes you say that? I’ve never said anything bad about his beef” You cough and Jimin rolls his eyes, eyes dancing with mirth.
“You don’t have to. You find it dry and I can tell because you either always avoid his beef, saying you prefer pork when I know for a factyou hate pork, or you always seem to drink an entire litre of water when you eat his beef” Jimin explains knowingly and you try to supress a blush, but the sudden heat around your cheeks lets you know you fail.
“Please don’t tell him! I love Jin’s cooking, really. It’s just he tends to overcook the beef” You sigh, shoulders deflating and Jimin lets out a gentle laugh.
“Don’t worry your secret is safe with me” Jimin winks and you feel your heart flutter. You almost want to point out that he says he can’twink but you stop yourself.
“So, you know I don’t like Jin’s beef and somehow you know that I hate pork. What else does thePark Jimin know about me?” You ask curiously.
“Hmmm, good question. But that would reveal all my cards” Jimin says with a teasing smirk and you pout, letting out a soft whine.
“Aish, how can I refuse when you’re being so cute?” Jimin asks fondly and you immediately blush, looking down shyly at his compliment.
“Well, what else do I know about you? Well for starters I know you can’t sing” Jimin jokes and this time, you flush out of embarrassment, especially when he starts laughing.
“Hey! Not everyone has an angelic fucking voice” You grumble, crossing your arms and glaring at him. Really? How could he just mock you like that?
“Aish, don’t get so offended. It’s okay. Not everyone can but I know you took singing lessons because you love to sing. I also know you have ridiculous stage fright, but that doesn’t stop you singing. I like it when you sing” Jimin confesses and you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion.
“I can’t sing, as you so nicely pointed out” You pout and he nods before looking at you earnestly.
“Yes, but I still like it when you do. Because you only do it when you’re completely comfortable around the person you’re with, or when you think you’re alone. I like when you sing in the shower most. Don’t get me wrong, you’re tone deaf and really loud. Like reallyloud. Almost screaming. But it means you’re comfortable and relaxed, I like that. Sometimes you even sing around me without realising and it makes me happy” Jimin admits and you find yourself unable to control your blushing, mumbling out an apology. But he stops you, stating that he loves your voice, tone deaf and all. You pout slightly, sticking your tongue out at him and he laughs, his voice echoing across the almost deserted beach.  Once he’s done laughing at your misfortune, he continues, revealing everything he knows about you. And it’s a lot.
He tells you about how he can tell when you dislike something just from the way your nose slightly scrunches. He tells you that he’s noticed the small dimples on your cheeks, ones that almost never show because they’re not as prominent as Namjoon or Hoseok’s. He tells you he loves your dimples, because not only do they match his, but because whenever he sees them, he knows that you’re happy as they only show when you’re smiling really hard. He admits that he knows white lilies are your favourite flower, and that he was the one who sent bouquets of them to your house every week for two months after they put your dog down. He admits that he himself cried when he found out, wishing he could have been there to comfort you but knowing you would have wanted your space.
He tells you that he knows you love to fish, and that it was one of your favourite childhood memories, summers filled with boat rides out on a lake with your grandfather. He also knows that while you love to fish, you can never bring yourself to kill them and therefore always set them free, your grandfather scolding you lovingly for being too soft. He also admits that he knows you cried once again for two straight months after said grandfather passed away and how he wished he could make it so you wouldn’t ever lose anyone you loved again.
He continues revealing little details he knows about you and the two of you talk until the sun begins setting. You sit, completely enraptured as you listen to him list of little quirks and characteristics. You had never had anyone pay so much attention to you; never had anyone who knew you almost better than you know yourself. When he’s finally down, you have no words. So instead, you just look at him, eyes filled with words you simply cannotexpress.
You take in the sight of him, almost radiant with the beautiful backdrop of the setting sun. He glows a beautiful shade of amber, the light forming almost a halo around him. He looks relaxed, smiling at you with a slight tilt to his head.
And suddenly your chest lurches.
You let out a small gasp, bending over, clutching a hand to your chest as you breathe deeply. Vaguely, you hear Jimin jump out of his seat, rushing to your side; trying to make sure you’re okay. But you can’t respond. Instead, you close your eyes, wincing at the tell-tale stinging feel of tears as a sharp pain flares between your ribs. You let out a choked sob when your chest tightens, the pressure becoming almost too much. It felt like something was squeezing your lungs and wrapping around your heart.
“____! ____! Are you okay? What’s wrong” Jimin asks, shaking you slightly and after a couple more moments the sensation begins ebbing from a searing pain to a dull ache. You take in a deep breath, finally able to breathe again. You open your eyes, blinking away the tears before swallowing thickly.
“I’m fine, it’s okay. I don’t know what happened” You reply, your throat raspy and Jimin’s face contorts into a look of worry.
“I think we should get you to the hospital” Jimin says but you quickly shake your head.
“No! I’m okay really, it’s probably nothing. Don’t worry” You reply, sending him a small smile and Jimin goes to argue, but quickly stops himself, nodding at you tersely.
For the third time, you completely ignore the obvious warning.
You fail to realise that the seeds of love have deeply rooted into your chest.
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Bud
def. form a growth for development into a flower
It’s two weeks after your trip to Jeju with the boys when you get a text from Jimin. You’ve been speaking almost non-stop the past two weeks, flirty texts making up the majority of your interactions. But you don’t think much of it, especially as you know Jimin’s a big flirt. You ignore the slight clench of your heart when his name pops up on your phone screen, instead unlocking your phone and opening up his latest message.
Jiminie: hey, you busy?
You: not particularly, what’s up?
Jiminie: I found this cute little ramen place about a ten-minute walk from your home. How quickly can you get here?
You: lmao, king of last-minute plans Park Jimin strikes again, I can be with you in twenty-minutes, are you already there?
Jiminie: you know it princess ;) I’ll grab us a table! Hurry, can’t wait to see you xo
You bite your lip, trying and failing to suppress your oncoming grin. You quickly begin getting dressed before rushing out of your apartment. You check your phone, using maps to navigate to the location Jimin had messaged you. Eventually, you find the place. A cute little family run restaurant, covered in brown wood with comfy cream booths and warm, low lighting. You quickly enter, locating Jimin fairly easily.
He’s tucked away in the corner, dust mask and black beanie on his head, light blue hair poking out; most likely worn in order to prevent anyone recognising him. You take in a deep breathe, smoothing out your wind swept hair and the non-existent wrinkles from your dress before nervously approaching him.
You’ve hung out with Jimin a lot lately, but this is the first time it’s felt so intimate. The atmosphere of the restaurant and the low lighting does nothing to help your nerves. A voice at the back of your head wonders if this is a date, and for a split second you entertain the thought before quashing it down. There was no way Park Jimin, Prince of Busan, would everask you on a date. You were just friends.
“Jimin-ah, hey!” You say, smiling brightly before sliding in opposite him. Jimin immediately perks up, back straightening as he pulls down his dust mask until it rests under his chin. The action does nothing but bring attention to his particularly soft cheeks, making your heart soften slightly.
“____! Hey, wow you look pretty!” Jimin compliments enthusiastically and you feel your ears heat up, shaking your head before opening your mouth to protest.
“Hey, no look at me” Jimin says, cutting you off and you your head stills, eyes locking with his, “I mean it, you look pretty, you always do” Jimin says earnestly. You take in a short, silent breath at the deep honesty in his eyes and words before ducking your head slightly, thanking him quietly.
“So, what’s good here?” You ask, changing the conversation and looking at the menu.
“To be honest, I don’t know. I just saw the place while I was walking by and remembered how much you loved ramen, so I invited you out. I think you mentioned wanting to try this place out a while ago but I’m not sure” Jimin replies with a shrug. Once again, you find yourself astounded by how much he knows about you, because you hadwanted to try this place and hadmentioned it… over a year ago. In fact, even you’d forgotten about it. But he had remembered, and you couldn’t help but feel touched by how thoughtful Jimin really could be.
“Well, I’ve heard the spicy chicken ramen with bok choy is good, we can try that” You suggest and Jimin nods.
“Whatever you want, I’m fine with. Oh! These are for you. The last time I sent you flowers was when your grandad died and before that was when your dog died. I thought maybe I had to rectify that. Can’t have all the flowers I send you be due to grief” Jimin says with a wink, handing you a bouquet of red roses and white lilies. Once again, a voice nags at the back of your head, because friendsdon’t treat each other like this. Friends don’t remember the restaurant you wanted to try a year ago, friendsdon’t buy you bouquets of your favourite flowers for no reason, and friendsdon’t flirt like Park Jimin does with you. But that’s exactly what you are. Friends.
“Oh wow, they’re beautiful. Thank you” You say, floored by the emotion bubbling in your chest. You take the bouquet from him, inhaling deeply, basking in the sweet scent of the roses and musky, heady scent of the lilies.
“Just like you” Jimin says once again with a wink and you almost have the mind to call him out for his constant lies about not being able to wink. But you don’t. Because you don’t want to ruin the moment. So instead, you fall into an easy conversation, talking about your days, the different projects the boys are running and more.
At some point, you order ramen but by the time it arrives the two of you are so absorbed in your conversation, you completely forget that the main reason you had come to the restaurant was because you had wanted to try the ramen in the first place. The two of you are barely eating, slurps of ramen few and far between the easy banter between the two of you. You feel completely comfortable with him, to the point where you don’t mind when a bit of soup dribbles down his chin or when you snort out of laughter, choking on some noodles.
By the time you’re done, it’s late at night and the two of you have exhausted any available conversation. But the silence isn’t awkward; instead you sit completely comfortably, just basking in the presence of each other. When you’re ready to leave, Jimin pays the bill, refusing to let you pay with a slight glare.
The two of you leave the restaurant, walking into the crisp late spring night. He walks you home, shoulders slightly bumping into each other as you walk, hands brushing against each other’s. Before you know it, you’re back at your apartment building and you regret how close the restaurant is to your apartment. You turn to Jimin, smiling shyly up at him. For the first time, you notice his height. He’s not particularly tall compared to the other boys, but he’s a good few inches taller than you.
Jimin smiles brightly at you before pulling you into a hug. You’re slightly surprised, although you’re not sure why because Jimin has hugged you goodbye countless of times before. This time however, it feels different. Somehow, he feels warmer, his touch feels more intimate. You bury your head into his neck ever so slightly, breathing the deep musky scent of his cologne over the tell-tale natural smell of chocolate and coffee that belonged solely to Jimin. Your arms automatically wrap around his neck, while his wrap around your waist and you simply stand in that position. At some point, you think he takes in a deep breath, nose buried in your hair. But you think you’ve imagined it. You’re unsure for how long you stand there, the street illuminated by the moon and soft glow street lamps, but all too soon, he’s pulling away giving you a soft smile before beckoning you upstairs.
You blush slightly, glad for the cover of the night before waving and walking away. You’re slightly dazed, his intoxicating scent still clouding your mind and before long, you’re in your apartment. You can’t even recollect even climbing the stairs, no opening your door. Rather than pondering it however, you begin getting ready for bed, a soft smile playing on your lips as you remember the night’s events instead. When you replay the hug in your mind however, you feel slightly choked up.
You begin coughing suddenly, wondering why it feels like something bulbous is lodged in the back of your throat. All of a sudden, you begin coughing violently, your throat raw as you try to dislodge whatever is stuck in your throat. Your eyes burn with tears but no matter how hard you cough, it simply won’t budge. You panic slightly and rush to the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of water before chugging it down.
You feel it go down slightly and quickly pour yourself a second before gulping that down too. Relief washes over you when it finally dislodges and you breathe deeply, hand on your throat, trying to soothe the slightly raw flesh with soft rubs. You’re unsure as to what happened, but you chalk it up to a freak accident. And looking back, you wished you had realised sooner. You wish you had noticed the signs early on.
But you don’t.
Instead as usual you stay oblivious to the flowers of love budding deep within your chest.
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Effloresce
def. reach an optimal stage of development; bloom/blossom
It’s another week later when you find yourself standing in the Bangtan household once again. You haven’t been here since New Year’s Eve but now summer is on the horizon, the spring blossoms giving way to the summer blooms. Once again, you find yourself alone with Jimin. Tonight, is one of the last nights that the boys have off before being thrust back into their hectic schedule. Your best friends take advantage and drag their respective boyfriends out on dates in order to spend quality time with them.
Which is why you find yourself sitting next to Jimin on the sofa, your back against his chest and head resting in the crook of his shoulder as you both sip your wine, watching whatever Korean Drama that was playing. If you were being honest, you stopped paying attention after your third glass of wine. Although, your lack of attention had more to do with Jimin’s hands moving from your waist to your hips, drawing lazy circles on the slight exposed skin rather than the alcohol.
You shift yourself slightly, trying to distract yourself from his seemingly innocent ministrations but all you achieve is brushing the soft of your ass against his hardened, thick thighs and crotch. Jimin lets out an involuntary moan and your breath hitches when his fingers grip your waist tightens, fingers pressing into the flesh of your hips. His head falls into the crook of your neck, soft lips brushing against the hot skin of your neck.
“Tell me to stop” Jimin breathes against your skin and you let out a shudder at the want in his voice. You’ve barely done anything and he’s just as breathless as you are.
“Tell me to stop or I won’t until this ends” Jimin whispers against and your throat goes dry at his words, his lips continue caressing your skin, pressing light kisses against the column of your throat.
If you’re being completely honest, it’s hard to think right now. But all you know is that you don’t wantto stop. You should.By god do you know that you should.This was certainly crossing boundaries and you were both walking into unchartered territory. It was wrong and you had no idea how this would affect your relationship. But you didn’t want to stop. You wanted him to pick you up and carry you to his room before leaving you nothing but a quivering mess. So instead you press your hips further into his, straining your neck and giving him better access.
“Please don’t” You almost beg and Jimin groans against your skin.
“What do you want Princess?” Jimin asks, tongue swiping against the shell of your ear before sucking purple flowers against the sensitive skin just under your earlobe.
“You” is your only answer and Jimin immediately flips you over so you’re under him, smashing his lips against yours. As soon as you feel his lush lips against yours, you feel time stop. All you comprehend is the deep scent of him that clouds your sense and the sensation of his lips against yours. His tongue presses against your lips, begging for entrance and you allow it, your lips parting before moaning as your tongues entangle.
One of his hands trails down your side to your thigh before hooking it around his hips, his other hand bracing himself above you. His hips between your parted legs start moving, slowly grinding against your heat. You let out a strangled cry against his lips at the stimulation; your hands moving to his ass, gripping them as you tried to pull him closer to alleviate the heat between your legs.
“Fuck you’re so hot Princess” Jimin whispers against your lips when you finally part, looking down at your through lidded eyes. His lips moved to press soft kisses against your throat before trailing down to the slight exposed skin between your collar, on the pendant of the necklace he’d gifted you for Christmas. Deft fingers begin unbuttoning your shirt, his lips brushing and nipping at the skin slowly being exposed until he reaches the waistband of your jeans. He pulls you up so that you’re sitting up before pushing your shirt of you, his hands pressing against your back and pulling you flush against his chest as he kisses you senseless once again.
His hands quickly undo the clasp of your bra before removing it from your body, head dipping down to the valley of your breasts, lips sweeping against the soft globes before wrapping his lips around your nipple, laving until it hardens, suckling on the teat. Your hands move to his hair, tugging the locks as you push him further into your breast, whimpering above him. His hands move to your hips once again before he shifts so his back is against the sofa, your legs straddling him. Your hands move to the hem of his t-shirt, Jimin breaking away from your breast so you could divest him of his shirt before his lips attach to your other nipple.
While he continues lavishing attention upon your breasts, your hands dance against his shoulders, bracing yourself as you begin grinding down on his member. Jimin hisses against your chest as you smirk. You continue your actions, heat pressed right against his hardened shaft as you move slowly, drawing soft whimpers from the male. You tug at his hair making him detach from your breast before you get up, shimmying out of your jeans and underwear until you’re completely naked. Jimin’s eyes darken until they’re almost black, his gaze slowly trailing down every curve of your body before resting between your thighs, arousal dripping down the soft flesh.
“Damn, you’re so beautiful, come here Princess” Jimin calls peering up at you as he pulls you closer by the hips, one hand moving between your thighs and cupping your sex. You buck against his hand, throwing your head back with a soft cry as one of his thick fingers slides through your slit, parting the lips before pressing into your honeyed hole. He moans at the tight heat encasing his digits as he pumps into you slowly, stretching your walls. He pulls his hand away, groaning as a string of your arousal attaches to his fingers. His digits are completely soaked and you watch through lust filled eyes, gazes locked on each other as he flicks his tongue out, licking at the coating of slick on his fingers.
“Is that all for me Angel?” Jimin asks, tongue swirling around his finger.
“All for you baby boy” You replied with a nod, a playful smirk on your lips as you crawl back into his lap. Except this time, your legs are on either side of his left thigh. You decide you’ve had enough of being passive and lower your heat onto his jeans, groaning at the rough material against your sensitive clit. Jimin’s hands move to your hip and you tut, removing them off you before pinning them against the couch.
“Uh-uh baby boy, did I say you could touch? No, I want you to watch as I get off using your thighs” You mumble into his ear, pulling his earlobe between your teeth as you nibble on the soft flesh. He whimpers under you but obliges, a complete flip from the dominating personality he was showcasing earlier. You begin grinding against his thigh, throwing your head back and moaning as you stimulate yourself. Jimin can feel your searing heat on his thigh, his jeans quickly darkening with your dripping arousal.
“Fuck, you look so good” Jimin compliments, eyes trained on where your sex meets his thighs, watching in rapt fascination as the darkened patch gets darker and darker. You quiver above him, sucking in sharp but shaky breaths as you grind against him hard. Your fingers move to the nape of his neck, entangling in the thick locks there as you continued moving above him. Suddenly he begins flexing his thigh and you let out a soft shriek, as you’re stimulated further by the hardness of his muscles.
“Are you gonna cum for me Princess? Are you gonna cum and make a mess of my jeans? Look at them, they’re completely soaked but you can do better can’t you?” Jimin asks from under you and you tug at his hair, hissing slightly at him. He’s trying to take back dominance with his dirty talk and you’re having none of it. So instead, you locate the imprint of his dick, hard and straining against his jeans before sitting down until your pussy is pressed against his tip. Jimin lets out a whine and you smirk above him, sliding your cunt up and down his thigh, clit brushing against the head of his dick ever so slightly. You know it’s torturous, you can tell by the way he begins bucking underneath you, mewling softly.
“Be a good boy and play with my clit baby” You whimper above him, and Jimin immediately obliges, hand pressed against your abdomen as his thumb prods into your clit, rolling the bundle of nerves in hard, tight circles. You cry above him, throwing your head back and arching your back as you begin shuddering. Heat swells in the pit of your stomach, your thighs shaking on either side of Jimin’s. The coil of pleasure snaps when Jimin pinches your clit, bending over and taking your nipple back into his mouth. All of a sudden, your nerves are electrified with pleasure, toes curling from strength of your orgasm, thighs shaking as you cry in euphoria. Your body goes slack and you fall, unable to hold yourself up.
“Shhh, it’s okay Princess, you’re okay” Jimin says into your chest, his head between your breast. He catches you quickly before you can fall, arms wrapping around your waist as he holds you to him. Jimin presses soothing kisses into your shoulder, holding your trembling body as he rubs your back, waiting for you to come down from your high.
“Fuck me” You beg through laboured breaths. Your cunt continues clenching around nothing, your pussy sopping and dripping with your cum as you drench his jeans. They’re probably beyond repair at this point, considering how wet they are.
“Are you sure Princess? Will you be able to handle it?” Jimin asks in concern, not wanting to overstimulate you, but you couldn’t care less. Your heat aches, needing to be filled and you’re sure if he doesn’t fuck you, you’re going to lose your mind.
“Please Jimin, fuck me” You plead once again and immediately Jimin growls, he flips you over so your back is pressed against the couch. You pull your legs up, bracing your feet against the edge of the sofa as you spread your legs wide. Jimin groans at the sight, quickly undoing his jeans before pushing both them and his boxers off of his figure. You bite your lip when his dick is finally revealed, his of average length but absolutely thickand wet; drippingwith precum. You watch through a lustful haze as he pumps his member, wetting his dick with his own precum.
He shifts forward rubbing the head of his cock between your lips and making you moan, bucking your heat against him. He manoeuvres his dick until the head is pressing into you. You let out a soft whine when he pushes into you, hands moving to his shoulders, nails digging into the flesh, face scrunching up at the stretch. He’s impossibly thick and it feels like he’s splitting you open, his hard shaft fucking your walls open, forcing them to stretch and accommodate him. You breathe deeply, biting your lip until you draw blood as you feel him finally bottom out.
“Fucking shit, you’re so tight. I should have stretched you, I’m sorry Princess” Jimin says, bending over and kissing your closed eyes as he stills, waiting for you to adjust to the size of him.
“Fuck, it’s so full. Move Jimin, fuck me hard” You plead and Jimin lets out a soft growl, his hands move to your hips, fingers digging into your hipbones before pushing them down into the couch, holding you still. He pulls out before thrusting back in, in one swift motion before he begins rutting into you. You gasp, hands moving from his shoulders to wrap around his neck, clutching on desperately as he wrecks you underneath him.
“Don’t worry Princess, I’ll fuck this pretty little pussy open until you can’t walk anymore” Jimin grits out, punctuating each of his words with a hard thrust. His hips move in tantalising ways, his dancer’s hips aiding his motions.
“Shit, look at you. Look at that pussy stretching around my thick cock. You take my dick so well baby” Jimin praises, his eyes trained on the sight of his cock moving in and out of your cunt. You clench at his words, feeling your orgasm building once again and Jimin whines as you tighten further.
“Fuck, are you cumming again already baby? Gonna soak my cock in your cum?” Jimin asks and you nod underneath him, hands on his neck as you pull him down for a sloppy kiss. Your lips move against each other as he continues fucking himself into you.
“Play with your clit for me Princess, let me see you get off” Jimin urges against your lips, his eyes watching as one of your hands moves to play with your clit. You rub your sensitive bundle of nerves, thighs shaking once again as you feel your orgasm approaching.
“Shit… just like that baby, that’s so hot” Jimin groans as you begin shuddering under him, gasping for air as he fucking harder into you.
“I’m close… Jimin I’m so close please” You cry, tears pooling in your eyes.
“Cum. Cum for me Angel” Jimin orders and immediately your body seizes up, muscles locking as you cry out his name, thighs shaking and pussy quivering around him as your walls tighten. Jimin continues fucking into you, despite how tight you get, one of his hands joining yours as you both play with your clit.
“Jimin! FUCK” You scream and suddenly you cum, gushing around him and soaking his cock, tears streaming down your cheeks. He continues thrusting into you, loud squelching noises filling the air as your skin slaps against each other.
“Shit. Shit. Shit I’m cumming. Let me cum in you baby” Jimin pleads and you have no energy to respond, so you simply nod, silently pleading with him to finish and cease his assault of unadultered pleasure on your body.
“Fuck, ____” Jimin whines and then you feel his cum splash into you, coating your walls white with his thick semen. You groan, quivering underneath him as Jimin places soft kisses against your collarbone, slowly pumping his cum into you before stilling when the stimulation becomes painful. The two of you stay like that for a couple moments, coming down from your high before Jimin goes soft, pulling out of you. As soon as he pulls out, you feel him begin to drip out of you, groaning at the sensation.
“Damn, we made a mess. Hold on” Jimin says before standing up and walking into the kitchen. You stay where you are, unable to move, staring up at the ceiling. You had just fucked Park Jimin. Holy shit. What would happen now? Before you can overthink anything however, Jimin returns with a wet cloth as he slowly begins cleaning you up. When he’s done he returns to the kitchen to chuck the cloth into the washing machine before coming back to you. He peers at your completely fucked out form, breath still laboured and skin flushed.
“Can you walk?” Jimin asks and you don’t have it in you to answer, so you simply shake your head no. Jimin chuckles before approaching you and picking you up before carrying you to his room. He carefully places you on the bed before drawing the covers over you.
“I need to clean up the living room before everyone gets home. Get some rest” Jimin says softly and you nod before turning to your side, curling up as you drift off into sleep.
It’s a couple hours later when you wake up with a soft groan. The night’s events replay in your mind and you immediately sit up, wincing slightly when your sore body protests. You turn to your side, heart plummeting in your chest when you realise Jimin isn’t in his bed. You turn to the side, realising your clothes are neatly folded on the bed side table with your phone on the top. Your heart gripes at the sight. Did he want you to leave? You and Jimin had shared a bed before when you’d crashed after a long night with everyone. So why hadn’t he slept next to you after fucking you?
Did he want nothing to do with you anymore? Had you ruined your friendship? You had no idea. So instead, you quickly get out of bed, trying to ignore the ache in your muscles and between your legs as you quickly get dressed. You can feel tears pool in your eyes and you quickly rub them before slapping your cheeks, trying to get a hold of yourself. You grab your phone before you slowly begin sneaking out. When you’re leaving, you notice Jimin on the sofa, fast asleep and once again your heart breaks all over again. Had he really chosen the sofa over sharing a bed with you?
Fuck. You had to get out of here.
You tiptoe out of the Bangtan household, slowly shutting the door before quickly walking away. It’s almost 5am so you quickly call an Uber wanting nothing more than to be home and in bed. You embrace the chill of the summer night, the cool air distracting you from traitorous thoughts of Park Jimin.
You only wait a couple minutes before your Uber picks you up. You quickly slide into the car, arms wrapping around yourself as you will yourself not to cry. You’d had one night stands before so you have no idea why your heart feels like it’s breaking all over the place. Tears burn at your eyes and you choke out a sob, as you remember Jimin’s peaceful sleeping figure on the sofa. He’d obviously thought sleeping with you was a mistake, otherwise he’d have been in bed with you.
Suddenly, your sobs turn into choked cries as you begin coughing. You cough violently, your throat scratching as you feel something come up. The driver looks at you in question but you ignore him as you cough particularly hard. And then, it dislodges from your throat and falls into your hand.
But you wish it hadn’t.
You let out a small sniffle before breaking out into a full-blown sob, your sorrowful cries filling the car, your hand clutching desperately around the petal in your palm. The driver looks at you in alarm but you continue ignoring him.
You wish you had stayed oblivious.
Because then you wouldn’t know about your feelings for Park Jimin and you could brush it off as a one-night stand. But you can’t. Not now. All of a sudden, all the chest pains and coughing fits make sense. You think back to all the times your chest ached at the thought of Park Jimin, back to the first night on Christmas. You wish you had realised soon. But it’s too late now.
Because there in your hand, is a blood-stained white lily petal.
And now you know.
You know that the seeds of your unrequited love for Park Jimin have effloresced.
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Wilt
def. become limp
It’s five months before you see Jimin again. After that night, you do your best to avoid him as best as you can. It’s not difficult as the boys are midst another comeback. You’re further aided by their world tour and hence, you are Jimin free for a few short blissful months. You try your best to forget him, but the constant ache in your chest lets you know that your feelings for him are undeniable. Each day the symptoms get worse and worse. As each day goes by, you’re coughing up more and more petals. A morbid side of you decides to clean the petals and dry them out, placing them in a jar. A handful of petals for each day you love him.
Today is the first time you’ll be seeing him in a while. The boys have finished their leg of the European part of the world tour and are due back in Seoul before starting the Asian part and you’re beyond nervous. But there’s no way you can avoid him tonight, because it’s Sooji’s birthday and you know for a fact that she’ll kill you before you even think of missing it. You’re beyond nervous, butterflies swimming in the pits of your belly and you feel like you may just throw up. Your phone rings and you pick up, taking a deep breath before answering.
“____! Are you ready? Sooyun, Suri and I are coming to pick you up” Hae asks and you groan slightly.
“Yeah, I’m ready” You whisper back, but it’s a lie and you know it is. Because you’re notready. You don’t think you’ll ever be ready to face Jimin after he so sneakily rejected you.
“Hey, you sound upset. What’s wrong?” Hae asks and you bite your lip, attempting to stifle the sob in your throat. You shake your head, trying to get a grip of your feelings.
“Nothing, I’m okay” You stutter back and Hae tuts disapprovingly and you know that she’s seen through the blatant lie despite being on the phone.
“You’re not. What’s going on? You’ve been avoiding all of us. You didn’t even come on tour with the boys, we were supposed to see Europe together, all five of us” Hae says quietly and you almost feel guilty. It hadbeen suspicious when you declined an all-expenses paid trip around America, Canada and Europe. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t stomach being around Jimin for months, surrounded by beautiful cities and pretend you felt nothing for him. So, you had graciously declined, making up an excuse about work.
“I’m sorry, I’ve just been really busy” You lie through your teeth. Because there was no way you’d be able to confess that you’d slept with Jimin and were in love with him. You especially couldn’t bring yourself to tell her or any of them that the love was unrequited and as a result you had developed the Hanahaki disease, an illness that was slowly consuming your lifeforce and killing you in the most painful, heart-breaking way. You couldn’t tell them that he had bloomed beautiful florets of love in the midst of your lungs before leaving them to decay. Because if Hae knew, then Sooyun and the girls would know and then Hoseok and Namjoon would also know and they’d probably force Jimin into doing something he regretted. But you couldn’t have that. You didn’t want him to love you out of pity. You just wanted his happiness. Even if that happiness wasn’t with you.
“Listen ____, I can’t force you to tell me what’s wrong. If you don’t wanna speak about it, that’s okay. But don’t shut us out” Hae pleads and once again your heart grips with guilt.
“I know I’m sorry. I’ll try and be better. Thanks for understanding Hae” You whisper back.
“Anytime. Now, we should be with you soon, so let’s just have some fun tonight okay. It’s not every day that Sooji turns 24 so let’s forget about everything else yeah?” Hae says and despite yourself, you chuckle.
“Sure, let’s do it” You respond before hanging up. You take in a deep breath and look at yourself in the mirror, your eyes steeling with resolve. You won’t let tonight break you. You’re going out and you’re going to enjoy yourself and Park Jimin be damned because there was no way you’d be ruining your best friend’s 24thbirthday. You quickly fix your make up and once you’re done, the girls are at your door, grinning and thrusting a bottle of wine in your hand. You let out your own grin before taking a swig, Hae rolling her eyes before pouting.
“I hate that I can’t drink because I’m on call and because I’m your damn designated driver” Hae pouts and the three of you laugh. The four of you quickly get into the car and before you know it, you’re standing on a rooftop bar, overlooking the beautiful Seoul skyline. It’s mid November and the air is chilly but the party is in full swing and with the amount of people bustling about, the body heat swirling around the atmosphere keeps you warm enough.
“____! You’re here! God it feels like I haven’t seen you in forever” Sooji squeals before running up to you, hugging you tightly. Her words are true because you haven’t seen her in months considering she was touring the world with the boys and once again you feel guilt for neglecting your best friends.
“Sorry, I promise to be better. Happy birthday!” You wish cheerily and Sooji grins brightly, Yoongi and Seokjin smiling on either side of her. You greet the both of them before Suri drags you away to grab some more drinks. For the first time in months, you let out a real life, letting the girls drag you around. You meet each of the boys, striking up a small conversation with each of them. Jimin is far from your mind and your thankful for such amazing friends.
You think you may actually have a fun night.
You’re in the middle of a conversation with Hae and Taehyung, speaking about how much Taehyung enjoyed Europe, especially the various art galleries and even going to his favourite artist’s art exhibit. You’re thoroughly enjoying yourself. Taehyung has always had the most beautiful mind and his love for art and culture is almost unparalleled. However, all thoughts are ruined when you hear Taehyung let out a small groan, eyes narrowing behind you as Hae herself tuts. You wonder what’s got them both so annoyed and turn around, your eyes widening when Jimin enters the rooftop bar.
But he’s not alone.
“Can you believe he brought her here?” Hae lets out a moan, glaring openly at the girl next to Jimin.
“I honestly didn’t think he would. I thought he knew better than that. If Sooyun-ah finds her, she’ll go mad” Taehyung responds but you can barely hear them through the cloudy haze of your mind. Jimin immediately spots you and the two of you lock eyes, his own widening slightly. Time slows down and it’s as if the both of you are the only ones present on the beautiful lit up bar, surrounded by Sooji’s favourite flowers. It’s kind of fitting.
However, the moment is broken up immediately when the girl starts clinging onto Jimin. His gaze snaps away from yours and towards the girl tucked into his side. He looks down at her and she looks up at him, her eyes sparkling as if he’s the only man in the world. You can almost hear the sound of your heart break when he beams that  beautiful pearly white smile down at her, a smile that you wished was reserved for you and only you. Your eyes widen in fear slightly when they both start walking over to you. Your eyes dart around, trying to find a way to escape the inevitable, awkward conversation but before you can escape, Jimin and his new girl are already by your side.
“Hey, ____, I haven’t seen you in a while” Jimin says softly and you nod tersely, unsure what to say. But really, what could you? You had fucked five months ago and now here he was with another girl on his arms. Were you the only one affected by this? Clearly, considering he had so easily moved on to someone else. Then again, can you really move on from someone you only had sex with once, and had no feelings for?
“Hi Jimin, it has. I heard the tour went well, you guys did great” You comment easily, silently cheering at how steady your voice is. From the corner of your eyes you can see Hae narrow her own eyes, suspicious of the behaviour between the two of you. But you do your best to ignore her.
“Jimin-ah, who is this?” The girl asks and you cringe at the nasally, high pitch voiced. She was trying way too hard to be cute and you feel bad when you almost snicker as Taehyung fakes a gagging noise behind the girl’s back, Jimin glaring at his best friend.
“Ri-El, this is ____. ____ this is Ri-El, my date” Jimin responds thickly and you nod curtly, extending your hand to shake hers despite how much you want to run away from the situation. The five of you begin a conversation. Well, you say conversation when really, it’s just Ri-El talking at you, spewing nonsense and you’re not really sure what she’s talking about considering she’s changed topics at least five times within the same sentence. You hate that you find her annoying because she seems nice enough. But you can’t help but want to hate her, especially with how she clings to Jimin.
“Oh! Is that Taemin? The Taemin? I have to go say hi!” Ri-El finally finishes before running off like a star struck fan. The minute she’s gone, Sooyun stomps up to you guys, followed by her two boyfriends.
“Park Jimin! I cannotbelieve you brought her here” Sooyun hisses and Jimin immediately cringes. She’s younger than him, in fact, she’s the youngest out of all of you, Jungkook beating her by a couple of months. But that doesn’t mean that Jimin isn’t terrifiedof her, especially with the amount of times both she and Jungkook have pranked him for no reason other than the fact that he’s an easy target.
“Sooyun-ah please, she really wanted to come. I couldn’t say no” Jimin pleads and suddenly you wonder why the hell everyone seems to hate Ri-El so much.
“Jimin, you slept with her once! Once while on tour. Why are you suddenly so attached to her? Especially after she almost leaked your whereabouts to some ssaesangs” Sooyun hissed but you’d stopped listening by that point. He had slept with her. He had fucked her like he had fucked you and suddenly you felt like throwing up.
“She’s really nice once you get to know her, please Sooyun-ah” Jimin begs and you finally have had enough. He’s known her barely half a year and he’s already defending her after sleeping with her once, yet after knowing you for yearsand sleeping with you, he wants nothing to do with you? It’s more than your heart can take. Sooyun continues ripping into Jimin and you use the opportunity to make a quick escape.
“Hey guys, I’m going to grab another drink” You excuse yourself, your voice slightly quivering. It’s quiet and only Hae and Sooji notice, both of them looking at you in alarm, brows furrowing with concern. You shake your head at them before turning and walking away briskly. It takes every part of you to prevent yourself from running.
Once you’re far enough away from them you run out of the bar and into the bathroom, shutting yourself into a stall before dropping to the floor, head in your hands as you begin to cry into your knees. Your body wracks with sobs and you bite your lip to prevent yourself from being audible. You cry out when you feel a shift in your lungs, the roots in your chest tightening around your lungs before squeezing. You gasp out a breath, trying desperately to draw enough oxygen, but it’s counterproductive, causing the roots to grip tighter.
You wondered if love was always supposed to hurt like this. You hate him for planting his seeds into the garden of your chest before leaving them; letting them overgrow into a beautiful mess of nothing but weeds and thorns that encase your heart, which holds all the love you have for him. You try your hardest to weed them out, but the more you think about him, the stronger your chest aches, as if thoughts of him are the water your garden needs to continue growing.
For the second time in your life, you feel the familiar sensation of something bulbous stuck at the back of your throat. This time you don’t panic. Instead, you accept fate as you begin coughing, eyes tearing up as you continue gagging. You feel the bud slowly inch its way up your throat, slowly scratching its way up your oesophagus. When it finally dislodges you cough it out into the palm of your hand before breaking into another fit of sobs.
A wilted rose bud.
If petals were the first stage, you knew buds were the second stage.
There was no hope.
Your unrequited love for Park Jimin would be the death of you.
Tumblr media
Wither
def. become dry or shrivelled
The next few times you see Jimin are probably the hardest. You can no longer avoid him without being suspicious, especially since you promised Hae you’d stop avoiding everyone. Hence, you see him more often than not and each time is worse than the other. He’s still dating Ri-El and every time you watch him interact with her, you can feel the thorned roots entangle further, gripping your lungs until you’re left breathless, lungs burning for air. It gets harder to breathe almost every day and you wonder how much longer you can survive this way.
There is a cure. You know there is. But you’re not sure if you can go through with it. Hanahaki is so rare that you’re not sure about the consequences. Some say you lose memories of the person you once loved, others say you just lose the love you had for them. Some even say that if you lose the flowers, you can never love the person again. Of course, there is the cure where the recipient of the feelings acknowledges and reciprocates, but you don’t have much hope for that. He seems happy with her and you can’t bear to come between that happiness. Even if it means death.
You’ve contemplated undergoing the surgery. But every time you think about it, you can’t seem to follow through. Despite every bit of hurt he’s caused you, you lovePark Jimin and you love your memories of him. You didn’t want to forget him, you didn’t want to not be able to love him ever again either. So, you reach an impasse, one that does worse for you than good considering you grow weaker every day. You look across your living room, to the shelf packed with glass jars filled to the brim with lily petals and rose buds.
Your love for Jimin had caused to you spew out flower petals and buds almost every day, slowly increasing in frequency as time passes. You wonder if maybe one day he’ll spot the jars and see the beautiful garden you had choked out, brought from both the pain and love he had caused you. You begin coughing again, the onslaught triggered by your thoughts of Jimin. You’re more than used to it now, it’s been more than half a year and you barely register the pain, wincing only slightly when the thorned rose stems scratch against the lining of your throat.
The last week, you had developed into the penultimate stage. Instead of simply choking out petals and buds, you were now throwing up entire flower stems. Your chances of survival were getting slimmer day by day and you knew that the final stage, throwing up entire bouquets, would mean your end. You scoff at yourself slightly, wondering when you’d become the type of person to die for love. But you would. You’d die if it meant preserving the happy memories of your love for Jimin.
You finally managed to choke out the flower, pulling out the withered rose before placing it in a vase along with the dozen other dead roses and lilies. As soon as you place it in the vase, there’s a knock at your door. Your brows furrow in question, wondering who that could be considering you weren’t expecting anyone. You answer your door, eyes widening when Hoseok, Namjoon and Sooyun smile brightly at you from the doorway.
“____! Hey, haven’t seen you in forever” Sooyun says as the three of them enter your apartment.
“We literally saw each other a couple days ago” You deadpan, wondering why the hell they were here.
“Woah, what’s with all the dead flowers?” Hoseok asks you, your childhood friend pointing at the dying bouquet on your countertop.
“Ah, I bought flowers a couple of weeks ago but I haven’t managed to throw them out. I completely forgot” You lie casually; he immediately raises an eyebrow at you and you know he’s caught your lie. But really, what else do you except from him? You’ve known each other since you were children, the two of you knew each other like the backs of your palms. There was nothing you could keep from each other.
“Uh huh, and what about those?” Hoseok asks, gesturing to the jars of petals and buds littering your shelves. You immediately stiffen, unsure of how to respond.
“____, what’s going on? We’re worried” Sooyun says softly and your mouth goes dry knowing you’ve been caught. You’re unsure of what to say, looking to Namjoon for help but he simply shakes his head, sending you his own worried glance.
“N-Nothing’s wrong” You try, stammering out your response and Sooyun sighs.
“Listen, I know we said we wouldn’t press if you didn’t want to talk about it. But this is getting ridiculous. Something is wrong, I know it, Seok knows it. Hell, even Joon noticed and you know he notices nothing. So, what’s going on?” Sooyun finally bursts out, looking at you for answers.
“What Sooyun is trying to say is that, we’re worried. You’ve lost so much weight, you look pale and you have these god-awful bags as if you haven’t slept in a month. Also, your voice is constantlyraspy, as if you’ve got the worst sore throat in the world and it’s been going on for too long. We just want to make sure you’re okay” Hoseok follows after his girlfriend, eyes brimming with concern.
“Is- is this about Jimin?” Sooyun questions ever so gently and your head snaps to her, eyes wide and from your reaction, you know she can tell that’s the exact issue.
“What happened? Don’t lie to me. Hae noticed something weird between the two of you at Sooji’s birthday and then recently you’ve been so awkward and stiff with each other. You used to spend so much time together before the last comeback and tour” Sooyun presses and you’re left stuttering. So they hadnoticed something, but just never said anything.
“I-I-” You stutter out, unsure of what to say. You can feel the flowers well up at the base of your throat and wonder if an attack is imminent. You take in a sharp breath when the roots move, constricting your airflow further.
“____? Are you okay? You don’t look so good” Namjoon says softly, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. You let out a low whimper at the action and the soft touch is all it takes for the damn to burst. You begin sobbing, the weight of your emotions finally crashing as you sob your heart out. Namjoon jumps in alarm, Hoseok and Sooyun quickly rushing to you as the former pulls you in for a hug.
“I’m dying” You finally stutter out and everyone’s eyes widens at your confession.
“What? No. You’re not. Tell me you’re joking, please tell me you’re lying” Hoseok pleads, looking at you with tear filled eyes.
“You’re not dying. This is a prank, you’re pranking me to get back at Jeon and I because of all our pranks, right? This isn’t funny” Sooyun says, but her eyes are filled with fear and you know she’s two words from breaking apart.
“I am. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner” You sob out and Sooyun lets out a little sob before crying softly with you.
“What? How? Why?” She stuttered out and you let out a rueful smile.
“I’m in love with Park Jimin. But he doesn’t love me, so I developed the Hanahaki disease. I’ve been keeping it a secret from everyone” You confess and Sooyun goes stiff, eyes wide while Namjoon sucks in a deep breath.
“You mean… the disease with the flowers? Is that where all the flowers came from?” Hoseok asks and you nod simply.
“Can’t… won’t it help if you get over him?” Sooyun asks softly and you shake your head, chuckling mirthlessly.
“I’ve tried. Believe me I’ve tried but my love for him is so deep that he’s planted within the dark recesses of my chest, the roots encasing my lungs. He makes roses bloom in my lungs and lilies blossom in my chest and granted they are beautiful but I cannot fucking breathe” You respond. You can already feel the early effects of an attack, flower buds at the top of your chest, ready to spill out your oesophagus due to the thoughts of him plaguing your mind. Once again you feel the roots constrict around your chest and you take in a sharp breath, before you begin choking.
“____? ____!” Hoseok calls in alarm but you push him away, instead heaving over. You begin gagging and this time, it’s unlike the times before. The flowers don’t come up as easily as they had before and you’re dry heaving. Tears sting at your eyes and you feel your throat burn, completely raw.
“Namjoon! Call the ambulance, we have to get her to a hospital” Sooyun calls frantically but you ignore the commotion surrounding you. You vaguely feel Hoseok’s presence behind you, rubbing and patting your back but it does little to help. You cry at the burn of the pain, sobs wracking your body as you claw at your throat, wondering why they won’t come out. It’s getting harder and harder to breathe and you wonder if this is how it ends.
Then Hoseok pats your back particularly hard and you lurch forward, retching out whatever was blocking your airway. Your eyes widen when dozens of flowers spew out your throat, blood stained and covered in saliva. There are enough flowers to create an entire bouquet, reminiscent of the one Jimin had given you when he’d taken you to the ramen restaurant.
You close your eyes, tears falling down your cheeks as you realise that you’ve reached stage four, the final one.
Then it goes dark.
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Abscission
def. the natural detachment of parts of a plant
The next time you wake, all you see is a moving white ceiling. You turn around and notice that you’re on a hospital gurney, being rolled somewhere you have no idea. Sooyun, Hoseok and Namjoon are running behind while the doctors and nurses call out various codes that you can’t comprehend. In fact, there’s not much you can comprehend. You hear words like ‘critical’ and ‘surgery’ and wonder what is happening. And then you remember.
You remember heaving out an entire bouquet worth of flowers before it went dark. Ah. So you were on your way to surgery. They were going to remove the flowers and save you. You want to protest, but you don’t have the energy to do so. Namjoon is passive. His jaw is grit and you can tell he’s trying to keep calm and rational, always playing the role of the leader. Hoseok and Sooyun however, aren’t as calm. They’re both sobbing as they follow you into what you assume is the ER. Maybe this is for the best you think. Maybe if they operate and remove the flowers, you can go back to your normal life. You can forget Park Jimin and the love you had for him.
Your resolve shakes however, when you spot Park Jimin running up to you. He’s caught you just in time. He’s crying freely and you wonder why. You open your mouth, willing your body to say something, anything. If this is the last time you remember him, if this is the last time you remember your feelings for him. You want him to know. You want to thank him for being a beautiful human being and a wonderful friend, even if you had wanted more in the end.
“Jimin” You rasp out and he lets out a little sob, nodding as he grabs your hand. The nurses tut slightly, but allow you to continue. They probably know he’s the one who’s caused your illness and they’re probably sympathetic but you don’t care. Right now, all that matters is you and Jimin and you’re feelings for him. Because just once, you want to confess just once and then you can happily move on.
“Jimin I love you. I’m sorry” You rasp out and using the last of your energy smile at him, before it starts going dark once again. Jimin lets out a small a small cry, clutching your hand desperately.
“No! No I’m sorry, I didn’t know! I love you. Please, I love you. Come back please, just let me love you” Jimin cries, weeping as he presses a kiss to your hand, but you don’t respond.
“Mr. Park, please let her go. We have to operate” The nurse chides and Jimin simply shakes his head, holding onto you tighter.
“No! She needs to know! Please. Please” Jimin begs before he feels strong hands wrap around him and he tries to fight it, but Namjoon simply holds him tighter, pulling him away.
“Jimin, let her go” Namjoon says softly and he does. He watches with despair as you disappear through the doors and wonder if it’s the last time he’ll be able to hold you like that again, wonders if you’ll even remember his name or your memories or if you’ll ever be able to love him again the way he loves you.
“Hyung, I love her” Jimin cries, turning into Namjoon’s arms before collapsing. He cries into Namjoon’s chest, shoulders shaking as he runs fingers through his hair, wondering where the two of you went wrong. If only he had known. If only he hadn’t run away from you and his feelings the night you had slept together. Maybe then you’d still be in his arms, beside him.
“I know Chim, I know” Namjoon says softly, holding the younger tightly as he tries to soothe Jimin’s cries. Sooyun drops to he knees, pushing Jimin’s hair out of his face before looking at him with sad eyes, a small smile on her face.
“She loved you too. Right until the end, she loved you and only you” Sooyun says and she means it out of comfort, but all it does is make Jimin cry harder.
And then he coughs out a lily petal.
A/N: The alternative ending is now up! It’s not compulsory to read, but if you wanted to!
sequel: bloom II
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boogiewrites · 6 years
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Choking On Sapphires 17
Title & Song:  No. 1 Party Anthem
Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)
Word Count: 4700+
Summary: Genevieve is a force to be reckoned with. An intelligent, independent and brutal businesswoman. She’s been intrigued by Alfie since she met him. But where will she draw the line between business and pleasure now that they are working so closely together? Growing more comfortable with each other, will Gen showing her true self work to her advantage or be her undoing?
A/N: Every chapter of this story will have a song to work as the title and as a soundtrack. Chapter song is No. 1 Party Anthem bu Arctic Monkeys. The songs give a good background to the stories and have some further insight into the characters. Positive feedback is MUCH appreciated! Reblogs, likes and comments feed this artists beast to write more!
Part 1: Thieves & Kings.- Pt. 2 Conquest - Pt. 3 Nail In My Coffin - Pt. 4 - 60 Feet Tall Pt. 5 I Bet You Look Good On The Dance Floor Pt. 6 Stop The World Pt 7 Making A Fool Of You Pt 8 L'Amour et la violence Pt 9 Play With Fire Pt 10 Black Treacle Pt 11 These Stones Will Shout Pt 12 Fireside Pt 13 Trouble Pt 14 Tighten Up Pt 15 Sympathy For The Devil Pt 16 Don’t Speak Pt 18 She’s Thunderstorms
My Masterlist.
Tags! Let me know if you’d like to be added or dropped! Thanks!
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Alfie?" you call out, walking down the hall towards his study.
"In 'ere!" he calls out as you move through the doorway."I know that tone, what do you want, Genny?" he says, his eyes moved up to meet you as you stepped closer, his head still down.
You give a small pout in defeat, shrugging and sitting on the desk, facing him on his side just to his right. "Do you like the opera, Alfie?" you ask, your face towards him, your eyes on the window behind him.
"Is this a loaded question?" he asks bluntly, looking at you over his glasses.
"There's one this weekend I want to see and I don't have any friends here who like the opera and I don't want to go alone." you explain, your posture slumped.
"And?" he says,  holding his ear closer to you waiting for where he came into this plan.
"And if you like the opera I was hoping you would go with me." you state plainly.
"Is this how you ask men out on dates?" he teases you with a glance.
"If I were asking you out on a date, believe me, you'd know Solomons," you say patronizingly. "I said friends, didn't I?"
"Oh? We still friends?" he chides, his eyes looking to your crossed arms and legs, referring to your closed off body language.
"Don't be daft, we've BEEN friends." you smack the back of your hand against his arm. "It's Saturday night in London," you say with a sigh. "Romeo et Juliette. I can get us a box if you want to go." you state with upturned palms.
"Oh, you payin', eh? You are taking this girl out for a nice night innit ya?" he says with a chuckle.
"If you could stop giving me shit and give me an answer that would be much appreciated." you lightly scold, crossing your arms back and groaning. "Otherwise I'll have to take Claire and she's miserable company since she hates these sorts of things." you shake your head in defeat.
"Eh," he says scrunching up his face and humming. "I've not been to the opera in ages," he says, narrowing his eyes at you as if he's still considering his words. "Of course I'll go with ya," he says very obviously. "I'll get the tickets, you just get dressed up and we'll be good as gold, yeah?" he says, holding his glasses in his hand, moving them in your direction. His eyebrows are up and his face holds a warm glance laced with condescendence that expressed itself in his tone. "Can't have ya goin' 'n gettin' cross on me now, luv.?" he says patting your hand that rests on the desk.
"Like pulling teeth with you," you say, you lean down over him, your hands on his shoulders. "Thank you, you complete ninny." you say warmly as you kiss the top of his head. You make your way around the desk.
"Why don't you use this as an excuse to wear that long sapphire necklace you've been keepin' locked up, eh?" he suggests, as soon as he'd placed in back into the drawer he instantly regretted not having you try it on first.
"Would that be a bit much?" you ask, your voice aloof, turning to face him.
"Did I hear Genevieve Greene ask if something would be "a bit much'?" he says with a scoff. "And here I was, thinking I was gonna show you off at my club but clearly you aren't the woman I thought you were." he says with a shrug an exaggerated frown.
"When did you get a club, Alfie?" you say approaching the desk with quick steps, your hands now resting on top of it.
"Had it awhile, Gen, I've just kept my involvement quiet because I thought it best for keeping the place the same." he says in a lower voice.
You stand looking over his head, in thought for a moment. "Do I get to drink for free if I show up with the boss?" you say with a cheeky grin.
"You show up with me you can do whatever the fuck ya want, luv." he says with a rumbling chuckle as he looks up at you over his glasses. ----------------------------- The door to your bedroom is open and so is the door to your wing. You hear Alfie calling for you from the front lobby, barking rushed commands at you. You're not actually running behind but he seems to just enjoy giving you a hard time. He's looking out of the window by the door.
Claire brings out your fur shawl to Alfie before she heads out for the night herself. He throws it over his shoulder to hold it. "You are taking her to see Romeo and Juliet?" she says with a smirk, her hands on her waist.
"More like I was guilt tripped and I'm making the best of it." he says with a slow laugh.
"She doesn't leave one with much of a choice when it comes to what she wants, does she?" she says with the tone of teasing in her voice. "Don't let her drink too much before she watches the show." she suggests, moving towards the door and pulling on a hat.
"Why?" he asks, his head tilting back to show his concern.
"Gen connects with art in an emotional way," she says quietly. "She's more inclined to believe in romance when it's in the form of art as opposed to real life." she shakes her head, it leans against the edge of the opened door with a sigh. "So her emotional connection to romance performances, particularly tragic ones, will break her heart." she smiles warmly as she speaks, leaning away from the door. "So if she's drunk she might turn into a melancholy mess on you." she laughs.
"Thanks for the warnin'." he says, thankful Claire seemed to be warming up to him.
"Well as we both know she's a handful. I don't want her to make a fool of herself because I'll have to deal with the consequences," she admits with a grin. "She looks like some sort of fallen angel tonight, Mr. Solomons." she pauses, giving him a mischievous grin. "If you aren't careful, you'll be the one getting your heart broken tonight instead." the same grin still in place upon her face as she gives him a nod and she heads out the door.
He clears his throat, being left alone in the room. His brow furrows in thought at Claire's words. His eyes wander the room, he knew you'd look beautiful, you always did. Perhaps she was just trying to mess with his head, she seemed like the type. He was also surprised to hear of your view on romance, his lip juts out slightly at the passing thought. He knew you loved art but didn't know that in all your hopelessly romantic words you'd spilled about things you loved, that that's where the feelings stopped. He thought you seemed like the physical embodiment of romantic notions, soft and surprising, mysterious with an underlying threat of pain. He wonders who hurt you in such a way and if it was repairable. He corrects his posture and moves the lace curtain away from the window to look out at the setting sun.
"Genevieve, what am I supposed to tell the boys when they ask why I'm late? Sorry, the Lady was takin' her sweet time gettin' ready 'an I had to wait for her. They can't know I'm waitin' 'round on you, Gen, don't make me look bad darlin'." he's lamenting out the window, seemingly just to hear himself speak and you're standing in the lobby and he's not even noticed you've arrived.
You're pulling on the black opera length gloves onto your arms as he looks over to you.
"Fuckin' 'ell." he groans softly, his eyebrows shooting up slowly as his bottom lip hangs slack, exposing his bottom row of teeth. Claire was right to have warned him.
"You told me to dress up," you say in defense of his out of character silence. "So I did." you say, holding your arms out. You're wearing a black, floor-length gown. The top is made of layers of stretching fabric, gathered at the waist, the bottom blooms out just slightly over the swell of your hips in more black layers of chiffon and tulle panels, giving a peak of your legs if you dared to do such a thing. The diamond linked chain ran down the center of your chest, the sapphire pendant hitting just between your breasts. The dress was low cut to perfectly outline the necklace, the lowest point directly below the pendant, the sides cut close so you weren't entirely falling out of your dress. Aggie had deemed showing the inner lines of your breasts too much. Claire had surprisingly approved. On anyone else, the dress wouldn't have looked so suggestive, but because of the size of your chest, these cuts always came across as more scandalous. But you only had to consider your own opinion and you looked stunning and felt generous to the eyes of public tonight.
His head is shaking back and forth as he walks towards you. "I can't take you to the club lookin' like this now can I?" he says, his arm extending out towards you. "You show up lookin' like this and make every other woman feel inferior and they won't come back after taking a hit to their self-esteem like that, yeah?" he teases, standing with outstretched arms in adoration. You pat his cheek, covered in the beard you'd missed, thickened out again and plush under your gloved fingers. "O that I were a glove upon that hand." he coos at you, his hand moving to cover yours on his face.
"Ay me, Alfie." your upper lip shows your front teeth, your tongue peeking out just slightly after you rolled out the words in a deep tone. Your voice is scolding but completely overshadowed in an absolutely feminine display of amusement, including you touching your hair as you spoke. "You can stop using that mouth in such a way right now." you say in a sound that could almost be described as a giggle.
"Nah," he says in a gruff sound, shaking his head down at you. He could tell his words had caught you off guard. He drops his hand from yours to move across your hip to the small of your back as he leans in and kisses your cheek. In the close moments, the heat of him willing your eyes to close, you note how divine he smells. "You look absolutely stunning, sweetheart." he purrs in a way that gives you goosebumps as he pulls away.
"So nice of you to notice," you graciously accept his praise. You reach up to smooth out the collar on his jacket. "You look terribly handsome, don't you?" He gets a good look at you up close, your face surrounded by long hanging pieces of hair, the top half pulled away from your face. Your lashes are long and dark but your lids otherwise bare. A strong brow sets your face with an equally severe dark red lip. "I know to lose your wardrobe had to be difficult but I am loving these new suits," you say, dusting off the sleeve of his black jacket. Your hand trails down his arm to his hand where you inspect his rings. "Still have the one I got you, I see," you smirk. "Of course I do, you have exceptional taste, Gen." he speaks softly at you, voice praising you as you work his fingers with yours, his hand looking huge between yours. He's amused by your focused eyes and the ease with which you touched your bare skin to his.
"I love this one. Is it obsidian?" you ask, you twist a ring on his finger, a huge black stone set in gold.
"It is." he nods proudly at you, he had been so relieved to find that you weren't just blessed with good taste in jewels but also had a substantial knowledge of them.
"I love Obsidian," you whisper, letting his hand go, your fingers start to dig through your purse.
"Forged from the fires of hell much like yourself, eh?" he playfully suggests. You let out a hum of agreement, fluffing the fur around your shoulders. You look up and nod with a cheeky smile he's relieved to see holds no sadness at his suggestion. "Especially in this tonight, luv." his voice is low and suggestive and you love his gravel tone when he sees you like this. "If I may ask, what does a succubus do with a man's soul after she takes it?" he lets out a big laugh as you playfully shove his shoulder.
You take out a sweet and pop it into your mouth. "I use them to become increasingly powerful," you say slowly, your voice deep and rich. "So I can bewitch more and more powerful men each time, taking down each empire as I travel through time," you say with an animated shake of your head, your arms out and moving dramatically. You say it as if it were obvious, as you walk towards the door. "That old chestnut." You offer him a candy and he gives you a judgemental look but takes it and pops it into his mouth.
"You ever thought of writin' instead of paintin'?" he inquires, watching your lips pucker as you suck on the candy in thought as he pulls back the door, you feel the heat of his hand on your back as you take your time in your heels down the stone steps to the waiting car. His hand holding your elbow out of courtesy as your hold up your long dress.
"I have. But I much prefer to paint. Writing uses up too much of my brain and painting helps me relax. Well," you huff out a laugh as you walk. "When it's going well it does." you say with a smirk.
"So your hobbies purposes are to relax?" he asks, you give a casual nod.
"In our line of work I find it critical to have hobbies that can level me out. Without my outlets I can be pushed to behave much like a little girl in a tiara," you say with an amused hum of a laugh at your example. "I'm an adorable pout but don't get near me because I don't know what I want but I do know I love to scream and cry for ANY reason." you laugh at your self-deprecating humor.
"Little girl in a tiara." he shakes his head with a mischievous grin. "Would you hit me if I said that was a perfect description of your tantrums."
You give his arm a light smack. "Is takin' the piss out of me your hobby?" you ask loudly, your eyes rolling as you adjust your dress.
"You said it not me, dinnit ya sweetheart?" his appearance is entirely smug and it doesn't seem to fade for the duration of the car ride. ----------- From the moment he takes your hand to help you out of the car, you don't go without feeling the heat of it on you until you've slid into a booth. He moves you with the gentle suggestion of his hand against your back. It wouldn't have felt so important if your back hadn't been exposed from the cut of your dress. Everyone knows him. Everyone greets him with respect filled nods and he hands out his thanks for coming to them all. When asked who you are, he lets you answer. The only thing he speaks on behalf of you on is saying you were both old friends when asked how you knew each other. You share a glance and the sentiment behind the words as he waits for you to settle into your seat when a man comes up behind him. "You have a moment, Mr. Solomons?"
"No. I don't." he says, only giving the man a glance. You don't hide the smirk on your face from the pleasing feeling of being held in importance.
"It's important business, sir." the man says quietly but with a pleading tone.
"So's this, yeah?" he says, finally turning to him. He sighs after the shorter man just continues to insist. He groans and turns to lean into you, still seated on the edge of the seat of the curved booth. "I'm going to go tell these boys to fuck off, right luv?" he grumbles, his hand resting on your shoulder for a moment. "I'll be right back. Don't go nowhere now." he says with a wink, adjusting his jacket but the collar. He disappears into a hallway and you wait. ------------ He isn't gone long, enough time for you to be brought a drink and have a man who is of no interest to you sit on the other side of the booth. Alfie comes swaying out of the room, clearly miffed as his lip has disappeared under his mustache.
He can tell you're not enjoying yourself as he stomps towards you, his stance wide as he glares down at the man speaking to you. "Excuse you?" he says, that power you remember from the first night you met him hitting you like waves on the shore. You smile up at him first, then shift your eyes to the man who has just stopped speaking to you. "Ya wanna tell me why ya in my club, sittin' in my booth talkin' to my friends, mate?" he asks, shifting his weight on his feet.
"I'm sorry Mr. Solomons, I didn't know." he says, with no real respect behind the words, shooting you a dirty glance before slinking away.
"Right." he groans out, his eyes watching the man as he moves away. "He weren't bothering you was he?" he asks, a finger pointed in his direction, a single eyebrow raised.
"No." you say dismissing the idea with a swipe of your hand.
"Good," he says with a nod, moving towards you. "Scoot on in now." he says, shooing you farther into the booth and you do as requested.
"Don't want you having to deal with other men when ya out with me. Least I can do to let ya enjoy yerself. Ya deal with that enough wif work." he grumbles out.
"You're being sweet again Alfie, watch yourself." you say in a low warning tone, but delivered with a warm smile.
"Shall I ruin the illusion?" he gives an entirely naughty look before glancing around the room and leaning back in towards you. "Your tits tonight, woman, holy hell." your mouth opens in a fully playful scoff and your eyes narrow at him. "You sure you didn't need Claire here tonight to wrangle in that crackin' set?" you kick him under the table.
"Alright. Not so sweet now." you say with a dismissive look, rolling your eyes, still laughing.
"Because I'd be more than willing to help ya out wif that if ya-" you reach down to grab his hand, bending his fingers back towards his arm with a smile and he grunts and frowns at you. "Some fun you are." he says in that gritty tone, now being delivered with a pout.
You look down at his hand before it retreats. You see the roughed up knuckles that weren't there when you left home. You shoot him a knowing glance and he realizes what you've deciphered. "Guess it was urgent business." you infer with a quiet voice.
"It weren't nothin'." he says ending the line of discussion with a more somber look.
You don't even want to pry, you just enjoy the thought of his ability to go from punishing someone just a few rooms away and back to you with his usual charm so smoothly.
"What made you want to buy a club?" you inquire, sipping your drink after a few moments of silence.
"Well, it's money innit?" he says with a half smile.
"You didn't strike me as the type to want a club, but I've been wrong before." you say with a slight shrug.
"It's got its perks. Buying one that's already successful, 'ats how ya do it, yeah? Mix some high end, some low end. Get ya booze 'an music 'n everyone's drunk on the idea of possibility and danger and my product. Makes for willing pockets." he nods. "What about you? You'd be a good owner, floatin' about 'an gettin' all the attention." he gives you one of those more charming smiles he used to disarm you when he would push your buttons with his words.
"I thought about it but it's not for me." you dismiss with a crinkle of your nose. "I'd like to own an art gallery though." you say with little hesitation, he can tell you've thought about this before.
"Ah well that would suit you better wouldn't it?" he nods in agreement.
"Better for hiding money, one would assume," you say casually. "When I'm asked how I make so much money, I can say you can't price art, the viewer is called to pay what the art demands," you say with dramatic flair as if you're delivering the line to this imaginary inquisitor. "Set the price to what you need it to be in the books." you shrug and give a definitive sweep of your hand.
"You always been so good at talkin' your way out of situations?" he says with a teasing tone.
"Does it matter?" you ask, a smile to match his tone. "Have you always been so good at spinning those pretty words, Solomons?" you retort.
"Yes. I have." he says with that charming delivery that makes you want to believe anything he says. You hope he found your charm as disarming as you did his from time to time. ---------------------------------- You settle into your box overlooking the stage. The seats were great, it wasn't where you'd sat the last time you'd been here but you think you'd prefer it over it anyway. You're snuggled into the plush velvet, benched, curtained box. High half walls form a  barrier between you and the other audience members. You're mostly hidden as you both sink into the surprisingly cozy space. As you pop another sweet and take out your theater binoculars, you take in the grand three-tiered room. Everything washed in a warm tone from the lights reflections of the gold columns and filigree.
"Have you been here before?" he asks, his knees resting on his elbows, eyes moving over the crowd below.
"I've been here twice previously. My Freddie has come to visit me since I've moved and he's taken me out."
"And who is this Freddie and why is he yours?"  he prys, his delivery remaining casual.
"Freddie Weber is a designer and dear friend of mine from Germany."
"How you know him?"
"He's from Berlin and that's where we met when I lived there."
"Lived in Berlin, did ya now?"
"Yeah, before Paris. When I was still very green and pushing myself entirely too far in my pursuit of life's pleasures in my expression of rebelliousness." you hum in amusement at the thought of who you were then. So much could change in such few years. You were at the point in your life now where you were hoping the few years wouldn't bring as much change. You were now seeking out stability for the first time in your life and you still had mixed feelings about your mature approach to the future. "Freddie was around for this wild period and being the indulgent one himself, and that, in addition to fashion and being attracted to men in common we became fast friends." You knew the real answer he was looking for was whether you were sleeping with Freddie. And the question to anyone who knew the man would elicit a booming laugh.
"So even wilder than you are now?" he teases, side-eyeing you with a smug half-smile.
"Alfie, darling, I am a nun compared to who I used to be." you say with an overly charming, rolling, laugh, your hand on his knee out of habitual charm. You continue laughing at yourself, both your hands back in your own lap as the house lights lower.
He leans in closer to you, whispering. "I'll be askin' you about them wild days later. Ya not off the hook after sayin' all that." You smile but don't look away from the stage, patting his knee.
"Only if I get some of your wild stories." you hold out your free hand, the other holding the binoculars, to him to shake and he lets out a chuckle at you and shakes. "Now shush, you'll make me miss it." you whisper. He retracts his chin at your bossy tendencies as he lets a hint of a smirk stay on his face as he side-eyes you. As the curtain rises it illuminates your face with the swell of the violins. It holds no tension, set so delicately indifferently with your eyes shining and giving away your emotions. At some point, something on the stage pulls his eyes from you. His attention is drawn back to you acts later when you lower your binoculars. He wasn't sure if your lip was trembling or if you were reciting all the words as they were said, but your face was wet with tears regardless. He doesn't even try to stop the small smile that appears on his face watching you giving yourself over to these feelings. It didn't seem like something you did very often, showing your true emotions on your face in such a raw way. He felt as if he was seeing something he shouldn't, and that made it that much harder to look away. As the final scenes play out, on occasion you'd gulp and let out a tiny little, broken gasp as more tears fell.
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(Statue of Lady Of Sorrows, Franciso Romero Zafra)
He offers you his handkerchief, not saying a word and you let out a tiny huff of a laugh. He knows it's meant for him from the fleeting smile the passes your lips as you take it from him, and with your other hand, take his and pull it towards you. He moves closer, taking his hand away and you let out a grunt, turning to face him to see where he'd went. His hand rests behind you on the seat, he offers you his other hand and you look at it quickly and take it as you dab your face with the other. Both your hands hold his, clasped in your lap, as you watch the stage intensely, your brows and eyes in constant minuscule movements. You let out a ragged sigh at the deaths, while he's watching the stage from behind your head, over your shoulder. He turns to see you one last time as your fingers squeeze into his hand. He knew your nails would leave small red half-crescent moons on his skin but he couldn't bring himself to care. Your lashes flutter, dark and wet over slightly flushed cheeks, gleaming with still wet trails of tears. The emotion from your heavy exhales as you look up for a moment, closing your eyes before returning them to the stage with a shaky inhale.
You catch him looking at you, turning to face him as he pulls his hand from the grip you still held on it. You expect him to make fun of you. That was the reaction you were accustomed to at this point. But instead, the house lights still low, the stage still covered, he reaches out and wipes away your tears. One side with his thumb, the other the back of his hand.
"I know. It's devastatin' innit, luv?" he says in such a sweet and gentle way it makes your eyelashes flutter in surprise. You nod and swallow. You could swoon at the words in your state, but a sigh escapes instead. You couldn't help but have a fleeting notion that he wasn't talking about the play.
You turn back and blot your face again as the lights come up. He loses the company of the weeping angel he'd grown so hypnotized by as you clear your throat and he watches that heartbreak fade away from your eyes.
Pt 18 She’s Thunderstorms
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anotherfiveyears · 6 years
Text
21: Christmas Time (Is Here Again)
Christmas Eve 1996
"Jimmy! Shut up!" Dave hissed. Jimmy was drunkenly trying to climb Anna's old skate ramp while wearing the bottom half of a Santa costume and a ridiculous white beard. Dave was wearing the coat part of the costume while retrieving the ladder her dad always stored on the side of the garage. He hadn't seen Anna since the night she heard Everlong, but he now had enough liquid bravery in him to give her the gift he bought her back in LA over a month ago.
"Why doesn't Anna have a hot sister?" Jimmy whined, then immediately slipped off the icy ramp onto the snow bank below.
"Because her parents got it right the first time," Dave muttered, positioning the ladder just below Anna's childhood bedroom window. "Wait here." He climbed the ladder, his heart beating harder with every rung and carefully removed the window screen. Glancing down at Jimmy as he lay in the snow bank, he softly tapped on the glass as his best friend gave him thumbs up. The pink curtains swayed a little then pulled back and Dave's smile dropped when he was met with a man around his age wearing only boxers and a ferocious glare.
"Jesus fucking Christ," Dave gasped and slipped on the ladder rung, catching himself just before he fell several feet into the snow beside Jimmy.
"Who the fuck are you?" the man snapped when he ripped open the window.
"Doesn't matter who I am, who the fuck are you?" he shot back, hearing Anna's gasp from in the room.
"I'm Anne's boyfriend and I suggest you get the fuck away from-"
"Send him down here!" Jimmy yelled from his snow bank. "I'll kick his ass!"
"Kevin, stop. It's okay," Anna threw the covers back on her bed and Dave felt only a little consolation that she was wearing the ugliest flannel Christmas pajamas he had ever seen. "Just give us a minute," she said softly and gently placed her hand on Kevin's arm. He huffed and glared at Dave, ripping his shirt off the bed before leaving the room.
"What are you-"
"Boyfriend, Anna?" Dave whispered harshly.
"Yes, boyfriend," she shot back. "What are you doing?"
"Bringing you your present, but you obviously already-"
She reached out the window and took his hand. "David! You're freezing! Get in here!"
"Hi, Anna!" Jimmy called from below.
She leaned out of the window and groaned. "Hi, Jimmy! Go wait in the car, okay honey?"
He shot her some finger guns and pulled himself out of the snow, immediately slipping and falling back into the bank. His voice muffled by the snow drifted up to them, "I'm okay!"
"Oh my god. How are you two not dead yet?" she whispered and helped Dave climb through the window.
He ignored her question, still focused on the guy that was just in her bed. "Who the fuck is that guy?"
"His name is Kevin and he's really nice," she fumed, putting her hands on her hips.
"His name's Kevin and he's really nice...," Dave mocked her with a high pitched tone and rolled his eyes. "Cute jammies, by the way."
"Fuck you, Grohl," she snapped. "Why are you even here?"
He reached into the red furry coat and produced a black velvet box with a silver bow, holding it out for her to take, but she stepped back as if it might bite her.
"How... did you know I was here?" she stammered, her eyes never leaving the box.
"You always stay the night at your parent's on Christmas Eve."
She looked up at him, the surprise and worry written all over her face. Realizing she wouldn't do it on her own, he opened the box for her revealing the delicate silver bracelet with the tiny infinity symbol charm. Her hand flew to her throat as she stifled a gasp and she lightly touched the bracelet with her fingertip.
"Because you like math," he said softly. "And... you know... forever."
She stared down at it and silently nodded, gently covering his hands with hers. He was beginning to think she hated it when a tear fell on his thumb. "Sorry, Anna... I didn't realize you had someone-"
"No...," she breathed. "No, I love it. It's... wow."
He quietly closed the box and handed it to her with a weak smile. He felt like an idiot standing in her bedroom in a fucking Santa coat, giving her a gift when her boyfriend was just on the other side of the door. "I'll let you get back to sleep."
"Wait..." she took his arm and sat him at the foot of her bed before disappearing into the walk-in closet. He tried not to think about what might have been happening in that bed before he interrupted but she quickly returned with a long, narrow black box and sat beside him.
"Here, Santa."
He searched her face for a second before taking the box. She had written in silver pen on the top, her beautiful calligraphy she had learned as a teenager announcing For David, Love Anna. He opened the box and was met with a picture of him and Anna as teenagers. They were walking away from the camera, hand in hand as Anna looked up at him. Even from behind, he knew she had a smile on her face. Jimmy had taken the picture after the Scream concert in Baltimore in the summer of 85, just before he joined the band, just before he and Anna broke up. Beneath the picture three drumsticks lay together in white tissue, one was broken at the grip and the others were dented beyond playable condition.
"Are these...?"
She nodded and smiled. "I grabbed them before we left your audition with Scream. I thought maybe they'd be worth something someday," she laughed a little bit. "Maybe some museum will want them."
Dave snapped the box shut and held it to his chest. "No. Mine."
She smiled and nudged him with her elbow as she stood. "You better go make sure Jimmy isn't frozen to my quarter pipe. I don't want to have to clean him out of the gravel come spring."
He sighed begrudgingly and went to move towards the window when he heard her laugh. "You can use the door, kitten."
She led him through the house, past Kevin still seething in the kitchen, and to the front door. Through the front window, they could see Jimmy waiting in his car with the engine running and Dave could only hope he had the heater on.
"Please don't let him drive," she whispered.
Dave nodded and went to open the front door, but couldn't bring himself to turn the handle. "Do you love him?"
She furrowed her brow for a moment, "Who?"
"Kevin," he replied bitterly and nodded towards the kitchen.
She hesitated, her eyes darting to the door and back to him. "It's just really new..."
He nodded in understanding and pulled open the door, "You know I love you, right?"
"I know," she whispered. "Get home safe, okay?"
"We will. Merry Christmas, Annie."
"Merry Christmas, kitten."
**
Jimmy's house was packed with people holding red cups. There were kegs in the kitchen sink, in a kiddy pool in the dining room, in a trash can in the garage and one in the bathtub upstairs. Dave and Jimmy were stationed next to the one in the garage, staring at a group of girls who were all waiting their turn to be lifted into the air for a keg stand. A tall girl with deep black hair and ripped Scream shirt made her way over with an equally gorgeous blonde, stopping just in front of the two with coy smiles on their faces.
"Hey stranger," the tall one purred and put her arm around Dave as if they were old friends.
He looked to Jimmy, but he was too busy with the blonde to notice so he shrugged and decided to go along with it.
"Nice shirt," he said, keeping his eyes on her chest as he took a drink of his beer.
"Yeah, I used to hang out with-" she was interrupted by a familiar voice and Dave swore under his breath. Anna stood just feet away wearing a men's suit jacket and a pair of heels.
"Amy?" she gasped.
"Annie?" the girl squealed and ran at Anna, throwing her arms around her old friend.
"Goddamnit," Dave groaned. He watched Anna blatantly ignore him and walk with Amy back into the house. Jimmy was already making out with the blonde so Dave cut his losses and went inside.
He walked right into Kevin who was holding court among his other equally irritating frat buddies. They were all in suits and their girls were in gowns, indicating they had been in the city at some fancy-ass New Years gala and had bailed to find some real fun. The entire group turned as one and glared at Dave as he tried to skirt past them to the kitchen.
"Hey, Rock Star!" one of them heckled, trying to gain his attention, but Dave just rolled his eyes and weaved his way around them. Fuck off, he thought. I could give a shit if you assholes buy my records.
Finally in the kitchen, he located the cabinet where the harder alcohol was kept and poured himself several fingers of scotch, which was terrible quality and tasted like jet fuel, but it got the job done. He went to see if anything fun was happening upstairs and made it to the second step before Anna appeared at the top.
"Oh, come on," Dave whined, throwing his free hand up in the air.
She had discarded the suit jacket with Kevin and was wearing a skin-tight black velvet dress with jeweled straps and low back, and Dave was pissed. She had no right showing up to his best friend's house with her new boyfriend wearing that dress.
"Jesus christ, sorry," she huffed, bouncing down the stairs towards him. "I didn't realize I was intruding on your little punk rock harem."
"Smart ass," he shot at her, causing her to stop when they were shoulder to shoulder. He noticed she was wearing a large diamond pendant around her neck and raised an eyebrow at her.
"Asshole," she shot back.
"You knew I'd be here," he accused.
"Yeah," a ghost of a smile pulled at her red lips and she reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, showing off the bracelet he had given her a week ago. "That's why I wore this dress."
She lightly bumped her shoulder into his and left him in the staircase, her stiletto pumps clicking loudly on the tile floor of the kitchen.
Abandoning any idea of fun upstairs, Dave retreated to the driveway to smoke and think. He stood next to a tall, wood fence that surrounded the backyard and lit his cigarette, idly listening to a group of guys on the other side smoke weed and discuss their girlfriends.
"I'm gonna ask her to marry me. Probably on her birthday. I've already got my grandma's ring and my mom knows all the wedding dress designers. Bitches love that kind of stuff."
"Fuck that, dude. There are so many women here! You could pick the hottest one and she'd definitely blow you in the back of that car of yours."
The first guy laughed smugly. "I know, I know. But I'm 28 and I need to find a wife before the election season starts. Anne is fucking hot and her mom's connected on The Hill so she's the obvious choice. The wedding will be all over the DC society pages this summer, just you wait."
Dave found himself pressed against the fence, hanging on every word.
"Yeah, but-"
"I'll fuck all the other bitches after the wedding. Anne's too traditional to get a divorce. She's the perfect submissive trophy wife. She's a great lay, too. Pretty sure she'll let me do-"
Dave shoved off the fence and went to find her. She may hate him, but she needed to know what she was getting herself into. He spent fifteen minutes searching all over the house, barging into bedrooms and bathrooms, pissing off several other partygoers before seeing Jimmy at the bottom of the stairs with his arms firmly around the same blonde as earlier.
"Jimmy! Where's Anna?"
Jimmy shrugged and tried to lean the blonde against the wall, but she was too drunk to stand. "She just left with Kevin. They were both super wasted."
Shit. He ran down the steps, skipping two at a time and shoved several people aside, ripping open the front door so hard that it smashed into the drywall behind it. He skidded and slipped across the snowy lawn and in the direct path of Kevin's gold Mercedes just as he put it into gear.
"Get out of the fucking way!" Kevin yelled and honked the horn, but Dave stood firm on the icy road in front of them.
He squinted into the headlights and could see Anna's panicked face, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the dashboard as she spoke to Kevin. "Come on, Annie," he whispered to himself. "Get out of the car, baby."
Kevin's attention turned from Dave to Anna. They were clearly arguing about something with Kevin growing more and more agitated as she spoke. He reared back as if to slap Anna and Dave lunged forward, hitting the hood of the car so loudly that it startled its occupants. Kevin's hand connected with the steering wheel instead of Anna's face as he yelled muffled threats through the windshield at him and revved the engine. Dave held his ground, watching as Anna broke the pendant free from her neck and threw it at Kevin's head before kicking open her door.
"... the most insufferable, self centered, boring man I have ever met!" she screamed as she climbed out of the car. "And you couldn't find a g-spot if it had a neon fucking arrow pointing at it!"
Once she was safely on the lawn, Dave felt himself breathing a bit easier, but Kevin was now ripping his own door open and storming towards her. "Anne, I won't tolerate this kind of behavior-"
"Get back in your car and leave, dude," Dave called over the Mercedes. He struggled to stay upright on the ice while moving towards Anna, worried he wouldn't make it to her before Kevin did.
"Fuck you," Kevin yelled from the back of the Mercedes. "Get a real fucking job, you hippy."
"What, so he can be a 'future senator' like you?" Anna spat. "You're just a glorified coffee bitch for a low ranked representative, Kevin."
"Get back in the fucking car, Anne," Kevin yelled, now on the snowy lawn and trudging towards her.
"I wouldn't get back in that fucking piece of shit if you paid- oof-" Anna's back hit the snow as Dave tackled her, holding her body under his while Jimmy pointed his father's shotgun up into the air and pulled the trigger. She ducked into his chest and held him tightly as the boom echoed off the surrounding houses.
"Go back to Georgetown, motherfucker!" Jimmy yelled and leveled the spent shotgun directly at Kevin.
He scrambled on the ice, falling a few times in a flurry of swears and expensive suit pieces before dragging himself upright again using the car door. "You're ruined, Anne! You could have been the First Lady, but you fucked it up!" Once inside his car, he tried to speed away, but his tires just spun on the ice.
"You really know how to pick 'em, Annie," Dave muttered, still holding her tightly underneath him while watching over his shoulder as Kevin inched away.
"My mother actually picked that one," she replied, her teeth chattering and her lips blue even through her red lipstick. "Who the hell let Jimmy have a gun?"
"Come on," he laughed and moved to sit up, just as the party behind them began to chant.
"Five! Four! Three! ..."
Anna grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him back to her, kissing him hard as the countdown ended and the party behind them exploded into cheers. She giggled when he planted an extra kiss on her forehead.
"Happy New Year, Annie."
"Happy New Year, kitten."
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advika1 · 2 years
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High-quality or Fashion: Fashion Pieces of jewelry - A Smart Investment?
Many women dream of buying precious gemstones someday; all things considered diamonds are a girl's best friend. Even so fine jewellery or real gems are certainly pricey and the cost of good quality stones tend to be beyond most of our budgets. Besides, except if you can get high-quality real gemstones you happen to be better off buying high-quality fashion jewellery. Just like authentic gems, fashion jewellery, if handled, properly can last an entire life while having a gorgeous effect on any clothing.
As a matter of fact, making a assertion in fashion jewellery is more possible and extraordinary unless of course you actually get access to funds that will obtain massive high-priced gemstones. When it comes to fashion jewellery ladies will be spoilt for alternative with a wide array of websites and several department stores offering an array of high-quality fashion jewelry for special events at a fraction of the price of real gems.
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Along with individual care and attention, fashion jewellery can last your entire life. Simply apply these couple of simple suggestions:
• Cover your pieces in tissue paper and make sure you actually store your jewellery in a package or pouch. Do not keep several items in the exact same box or pouch but separately. This keeps air away from your jewellery, reducing the risk of tarnish. A jewellery box or drawer with separate compartments is another good way to keep jewellery and keep them away from dust and dampness.
We have a versatile collection of contemporary bangles whereby one can choose from textured or animal and bird motif handcuffs, stone- or glass-studded bracelets in single or multi strands to intricately designed hand harness styles. Contemporary bangles from Tribe are easy to carry off, lightweight and ideal for workwear. However, some of the available styles can even accessorize cocktail and party wear as well, to lend an elegant modern appeal to your western attire. Bangles Traditional.
• If your jewellery is tarnished there are numerous solutions to clean it. Apply a baking soda based toothpaste and thoroughly clean with a smooth brush or cloth. The baking soda will give your jewellery an immaculate glow. Alternatively make use of a tarnish cloth to clean and sparkle your pieces. Baking soda will be also ideal for shining actual gemstones and helps to make gemstones sparkle.
• Do not dispose of your jewellery if broken. A lot of jewellery breaks might be fixed with jump rings, brand new clasps, completely new eye pins or headpins. If you actually lose an earring makes use of the other one as a pendant instead of throwing it out.
• Keep your jewelry away from water, chemical substances and beauty products and do not put on your jewellery when undertaking sports activities or housework.
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From multi-strand long statement necklaces to intricately embellished chokers and heavy layered necklaces, these necklaces translate the tribal in more ways than one. Rooted in ancient culture, the tribal necklaces are replete with taveez, peacock, elephant, snake, heart and floral patterns. Some of our tribal necklaces even have Ganesha motifs. In addition to our in-house collection of tribal necklaces, we have some of the trendiest offbeat tribal necklaces in collaboration with Masaba Gupta. Traditional Necklaces.
• Your jewellery should be the final thing you actually put on and the first thing you take off while dressing up and undressing. This way you will avoid the beauty products and compounds that spill, stain or drop on jewellery and this could damage them. You should avoid getting chemical substances like cologne, hair spray, deodorant, household washing fluids near your jewellery.
• Do not let your jewellery drop or rebound against items because this can cause scratches and abrasions to occur. Do not wear the exact same pieces daily but swap them and combine your items which will shield and help you to protect all of them.
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forgiven-whimsy · 3 years
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5 favorite recent writing bits
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So @kunstpause​ tagged me to share 5 recent writing bits I enjoyed and am proud of. Under the cut for length, with Ao3 links to the complete piece. 
In no particular order: Wicked Apology  Emet-Selch/Azem 5.3 and Tale from the Shadows spoilers, set right after the grape incident. Rated E 
He followed her, slowly, stretching, missing her comforting heat and circled her with a self satisfied smirk, knowing full well her obeisance would take convincing, counted on it even. He snapped his fingers. His robe blinked from view leaving him in a simple tailored button down shirt and trousers. “If you are quite done with your impertinence, I might speak of consequences.”
A quick flick of her wrist divested Astrea of her outer robes, and Hades nostrils flared at the sight of her, she’d anticipated his game. She wore a short black skirt that was sinful in the way it hugged her hips and the flare of her bottom. Above she wore a corseted blouse, The neckline bordering indecent. Nestled between her veritable heaving bosoms was an amethyst pendant of deepest violet on a thin golden chain, a gift, a promise of forever. It was infused with his aether that she might have a piece of him regardless of how far her travels took her.
“And what does the esteemed Emet-Selch have to say pray tell.” She gave him a sweet smile that was anything but, matching his mischief as only his lover could.
“Restitution has been demanded of you from the convocation, and your duty demands your acquiescence. Lahabrea requests repayment for his good faith, to which you have agreed, and you have even freely offered repayment to Elidibus, though he demands nothing of you.” She followed him with her midnight eyes until he circled behind her. Delicately his fingers traced along the golden chain that held his pendant, goose flesh puckered the pale skin of her breasts. “And yet, dear heart,” he spoke directly into her ears, and though she fought it there was no hiding the fluttering of her pulse or the sharp inhale when he tugged the pendant free, body warmed, and thrumming with power. “You have offered nothing to the architect of your deliverance, your soul’s mate, whom you have wronged most gravely.” He pressed his lips to the shell of her ear and she swayed, leaning against his chest. “Whatever am I to do with you?”
From Shadows  Estinien/WoL, set after 5.1, long fic, friends to lovers, roommates, PTSD. Rated E. 
The exchange was a fortnight ago, but the guilt lingered, thoughts circling back to Shiloh time and again. His feelings towards her were complicated, a tightly wound knot he didn’t know how to start untangling so he ignored it, and avoided her. Watching her from afar was easier than facing her head on. Estinien rankled at his own cowardice. He cared for her far more than he would ever let on, admitting only that she was a dear friend, and he was fiercely protective of those he considered friends. He swelled with pride whenever he heard of her exploits. He was grateful to her for saving his life, he found a measure of peace since she’d rescued him, rediscovered who he was in the absence of revenge and hate, and the person who had emerged, though damaged, wasn’t a person he disliked.
And yet there was a current of resentment and anger. When nightmares gripped him, she was a chief player in the terrors his subconsciousness visited upon him, and he had killed and been killed by her more times than he could count. When a dark mood would plague him, which was, frustratingly, often, he cursed her name, and the second chance at life she and Alphinaud had gifted him.  Estinien had asked Shiloh, specifically, to kill him, and she’d denied him that release. And always, always it all spiraled into guilt and shame, the guilt of surviving when far better people than him had gone to Halone’s halls, people Shiloh had loved. No, better to keep his distance, better for him, and for her. She was more than capable, the Warrior of Light didn’t need him. Let it Snow Aymeric/Wol, Self indulgent Starlight Fluff/smut. Rated E. 
The wind howls through the tunnels connecting the Pillars to Foundation. The snow, if the tiny icy knives can be called snow, fall sideways, cutting into exposed skin. The air is heavy and damp, seeping directly into any unfortunate traveler's bones. It’s the kind of weather that aggravates old wounds, and old joints, the kind that claims the lives of the unwary. Halone’s own fury batters the city perched atop the peak of a mountain. Shiloh squints against the onslaught, each step through the heavy snow slow and measured, there’s ice beneath the snow, and unfortunate falls were not uncommon in Ishgard under these conditions.
There’s no turning back, her destination and her starting point stood at equal distance, so she soldiers through the snow drifts piling up throughout the tunnels. The Warrior of Light is bundled in what was an almost comical amount of layers, tail and horns wrapped in custom made knit scarves. Golden eyes and a bright red nose poke past her knit hat and the scarf she has wrapped around her face. Mittened hands clutch a small blue and silver box, fingers nearly gone numb, her toes not faring much better as they tramp through the ever deepening snow blanketing the city streets. Lord Edmont’s urging for her to change before leaving rings in her ears, and she regrets ignoring his advice. When she emerges from the tunnels she’s not sure if the wind is worse or better. The snow renews its attempt to bury her, or transform her into a snowman, her pace slows in the heavier accumulation, but at least now she can see her goal.
The doors to the congregation are flung open with a deafening slam, Shiloh turns and struggles to close them. The blowing snow eager to claim whatever space it can. Gone are Handeloup and Lucia, gone are the scribes, and the chirugeons, gone are the Temple Knights, all but one. It was Starlight eve afterall, and the Lord Commander insisted that those under his charge be with their loved ones, out of the cold on Ishgard’s most sacred night. That he didn’t apply the same compassion to himself fuels Shiloh’s frustration and gives her the additional strength she needs to finally close the heavy wooden double doors against the storm. A sigh puffs from her lips and she slides down the rattling wood, a draft flitting through the bottom cracks, she’s too drained, too cold from her trek to move. Aymeric runs into the congregation's main chamber, sword drawn, only to be met by the sight of Shiloh’s half buried figure, more snow then Au Ra, sitting on the floor.
“Shiloh?” He sheaths his weapon and hurries to her side. “What are you doing here? You should be with the Fortemps.”
“So should you.” Shiloh lifts the small gift she’d clutched to her heart in an effort to protect the shiny blue wrapping paper and delicate silver ribbons she’d taken such pains to get just right. “Happy Starlight?” She tugs the scarf from her face, and wills her lips to stop chattering long enough to give him what she hopes is a sweet smile.
Clamor ffxivwrite2020 prompt fill, Gaius and WoL. Rated T. 
The smoke from the Ultima wreckage stung her eyes, and made it hard to breath. Shiloh secured Thancred to Maggie, checking his pulse again, checking his pupils, he was alive, unconscious but alive, and given the circumstances it would have to be enough. The metal of the decimated castrum creaked, and she was acutely aware that she was on a broken elevator. She moved quickly, ready to mount up and get out, only to be met with a long echoing groan. She froze, knowing it was Gaius Van Baelsar.
“Seven hells.” She muttered harshly under her breath before she stepped away from the magitek armor and sprinted towards the fallen Garlean.
She couldn’t find a pulse or even properly assess him with all of his armor in the way so she searched for a latch that would release his helmet. A click and a hiss later, she was pulling the metal horns from his head, his third eye shone amidst the blood and sweat marring his otherwise strong, dark features. She set to work, pushed her Aether into his body stopping the worst of the internal bleeding. She didn’t need magic to see that he was concussed, his pupils were pinpricks in his hazel eyes, but he was awake, and that was promising. After a tense moment he breathed deeply, a pain eased.
He tried to get up but Shiloh pushed him back down, “stay still.”
“Your mercy is a weakness.” The gravel of his baritone having lost much of its strength.
Shiloh kept working, focusing her energy on repairing a bleed close to his lungs.
“This isn’t mercy.” She spoke without looking at him.
“If not mercy, then what?”
“Justice.” Slowly she sat him up, keeping a glowing green hand close to his abdomen lest her delicate work be undone.
“One would think that dying among the castrums flames a fitting justice.” He winced and she slowly pulled him to his feet.
“That fate is far too kind, given your crimes.” Shiloh was diminutive next to Gaius, still she put one of his arms around her shoulders, letting him lean on her as they slowly made their way back to the waiting magitek armor. “Besides, long before I was a warrior or champion, I was a healer, I made an oath to offer succor to the sick and injured.” She glanced up at him, “even if the injured is my enemy.”
War of Hearts Zenos/WoL Arranged Marriage AU, long fic, enemies to friends to lovers, Rated M. 
It was absurd, laughable almost were it not happening in real time. Before her stands Varis, not a priest of the Twelve, to her right stands the man she was marrying, not the love of her life, not even someone she might like, no, to her right stands her most hated enemy. Zenos Yae Galvus. And Shiloh stands stock still, in a gown of shimmering gold, trimmed in red, the three interlocking diamonds, symbol of her long standing enemy embroidered into the delicate fabric, the same colours repeating in the bouquet she holds. She’s surprised any flowers at all deign to grow in the northern waste that was Galremald. Strange that she can still be surprised considering the outrageous betrayal that brought her here. She speaks the words of fealty, words of love, words of promise, and dutiful to the last, she places her hand over Zenos’s and Varis twins the red and gold cord around their hands. The weight of the ring on her left hand itches, as if the metal had been tempered in acid.
Shiloh had been many things in the preceding years, weapon, symbol, and now, bribe. She was the cost the Eorzean and Doman Alliances have paid for peace. She is the concession, by giving her to Garlemald, Varis has effectively disarmed his opponents, not that he hadn’t given back, the castrums in Eorzea and Doma are being dismantled as the farce carries on. The leaders, for their part, had done a good job of wringing their hands in a show of contrition and regret, but ultimately their people had to come first, even the Scions, her friends, or so she’d thought, had said it was for the good of the realm. No one, not a single one, had thought to put her wants, or her needs first. They were present, all of them watching as she turns, watching as Zenos, towering over her, takes her chin in his hands and bends to kiss her. That she doesn't recoil, or fill his mouth with bile is a miracle, likely her last. Hydealyn is ever silent, even as the crowd claps for the royal couple. She is named princess, and a gaudy Garlean crown is placed on her head. Absurd. Shiloh is in the seventh hell.
When the ceremony ends she takes Zenos’s arm and is led to the grande reception hall. He even pulls the chair out for her, ever the polite monster. They sit on a raised dais, course after course of food brought before them, and each tastes like ash in her mouth. Garlean nobles and Erozeans alike present gifts, one after the other the alliance leaders declare their friendship and present a gift that would remind her of home. She does not smile, she does not pretend, let the alliance leader's final memory be of her disdain, she hopes they choke on their guilt. If she could have burned the gifts, she would have, sadly thurmaturgy was not her strength, though she knew enough to light the entire pile on fire, were it not for the aether dampening shackles she’d been given upon her arrival in Garlemald. They appeare to be nothing more than golden bangles, but they were narrow enough that they could not be removed, and removing them required a controller. A controller Varis held. The emperor had cited safety, knowing full well she was present under duress, knowing full well the destruction she was capable of. He promised he would unshackle her when he knew he could trust her not to kill them all while they slept. She supposed she would be wearing them until her dying breath.
As for who I would tag, Everyone I would have, has been tagged, so if you see this and would like to participate, consider yourself tagged. 
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abigailskoda · 4 years
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Easy Methods To Boost Your Jewelry Collection
Next time you're looking into building a jewellery buy, you could need to take into account an "out-of-the-field" spot to keep. Many domestic-primarily based make-up agencies are spreading their wings and contacting a new patron base by way of selling jewelry and also make-up. The costs are normally affordable and the products ships speedy. So next time you are trying to shop for newer rings, have a have a look at your selected makeup rep.
Jewelry comes in sets that include a couple of portions. Matching rings could be worn the usage of a matching necklace, if your set consists of over two items, it might be less complicated to simplest put on one or  at a time. Wearing a number of similar gadgets does not have a examine desirable as a couple of complimentary portions.
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Image source If you desire to start accumulating gemstone earrings, make sure that you searching for information first. It is important which you recognize what to search for in spotting fakes and what to look for to discover true gemstones. It will also be beneficial to recognise what distinctive countries and regions distinct gem stones are indigenous to. It will assist see whether or not what you are looking at is real or fake.
To produce an outfit look more balanced, fit and blend exclusive kinds of earrings. You can pair it with many basic earrings or bracelets in the occasion you wear a assertion necklace. Compliment these with a primary chain necklace if you like to wear oversize rings. This allows to accentuate your greater dramatic pieces and surely will keep the appearance from feeling like plenty of.
Pick some thing which says love if you're buying a particular element of jewelry on your wife. There are numerous portions of jewellery who've a story in the back of them, inclusive of an infinity band or hugs and kisses pendant. Products which might be known as "forever", normally with diamonds, indicates her you want to spend all your lifestyles collectively. Beautiful!
To make certain your jewelry accentuates the first-class capabilities, pick pieces that absolutely work with the face shape. For the heart shaped face, strive chokers and dangly jewelry. Rectangular and Round face sorts appearance properly in teardrop rings, and long necklaces will also be an excellent choose. Individuals with rectangular faces need to pick out quick necklaces and round earrings. In case you have got an oval shaped face, you are able to perform any sort of necklace, however angular rings work excellent.
To avoid losing funds on purchasing rings you have to consider checking out local vintage stores. Many people sell their antique jewelry closer to the stores as soon as they might require cash or in the event that they have inherited it and certainly do not want it. There is no purpose to cowl the pinnacle markups that include rings.
Determine whether or not your stone acquired a therapy, and what type, before buying it. Gemstone remedy may additionally have an effect on the form of care the piece desires. Utilizing the incorrect chemical while cleansing a gemstone can also purpose the protecting treatment to dissolve, and harm the advent of the gem.
A incredible manner to prevent damage to jewelry is usually to regularly be careful with apparel. The nice way to make certain that clothes do not hurt the jewelry is typically to continually upload accent portions after being absolutely dressed. Inside a similar style, make sure that rings is commonly eliminated earlier than any articles of garments.
Store your rings within the same way you put on it. This without a doubt manner placing necklaces and rings, and storing rings on padded sticks. Besides this shield your jewelry from becomingknotted and tangled, or broken, further, it lets in you to easily see what rings you have got and what suits properly collectively.
The starting of this publish mentioned what a high-quality impact jewelry has on ordinary habitual. There are many jewellery designs and styles from which to choose which could usually be very overwhelming to your patron. Apply the facts from the thing above to have fulfillment whilst making the quality earrings alternatives.
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magnuslightwoodbane · 7 years
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(you are) rarer than diamonds
written for day 4 of malec appreciation week: alternate universe
(it’s 4:50am on day 5 where i am, but better late than never right?)
3.1k words, alec is a jeweller, magnus is a ceo and Certified Most Beautiful Man In The World™
ao3 link
If you’d told Alec Lightwood at 18 that he would drop out of law school and open a shop, he wouldn’t have laughed in your face, because he was too subtle for that. He would, however, have given you a Look that made it clear what a fool he thought you were.
Well, more fool him, he thought.
Adamant that he’d support himself through school, he’d by some miracle gotten a part time job at a jewellers near campus his first year. Originally hired to lend a hand around the shop, his boss had like his drive so much he’d sent him on course after course. Despite the mountain of work school gave him, he lapped up knowledge in all forms and soon was legally and officially qualified to be a full-fledged jeweller.
His second year was full of conflict, indecisive about whether to pursue his dream (read: parents dream) of graduating, starting a law firm, jacking it all in to become another stone faced politician and dying with a brood of spoiled kids left behind to squabble over his riches, or to pursue the whole jewellery thing. He’d grown to like work more than school; in some way, he was impacting people’s lives in a real, tangible way to him. A necklace to woo someone and help them realise possibilities; a ring bound to catch the eye at the next fashion show and set the wearer on the track to stardom; wedding rings to give each other forever…
If you’d told Alec Lightwood at 18 that he’d still be consistently single at 25, he’d believe that one.
In what would have been his third year, when he was able to access his trust fund, he used the money meant for a law firm to purchase a middling-sized shop with a one room apartment above it. His parents’ money had to be good for something, right? (It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful. He knew how lucky he was to have rich parents and a kick start in life). And he took it on board.
Not a fan of how jewellery was so often the plaything of the rich, he deliberately sought out more affordable jewellery and advertised it alongside the precious gems and metals that cost far too much. It helped that his brother’s girlfriend was an incredibly creative craftsman herself; and that her mother was an artist, which meant his decor and stock was sorted out in one fell swoop. All in all, he was content. Five years of running his own business, going from strength to strength and getting a name for himself. His parents had even grown to accept his drastic career change, even if they continually bugged him about his perpetual singledom. He was fine with it.
Until the most beautiful man in the world walked into his shop. Obviously. He was tall and muscular, burgundy henley clinging to his arms and necklaces draped around his neck, hanging various pendants at various lengths on his chest. He was obviously in the right place, adorned with various pieces, of which Alec could see were expensive and very well made. His black hair was carefully styled back and up, with short sides and red streaks at the front. His eyes were a warm brown, with dark and precise wings and champagne glitter smudged under his waterline. And his lips, oh his lips - Alec had never wanted to kiss anyone at a first glance quite as much as he wanted to right now.
It took a minute for Alec to realise that he’d been staring, and what’s more, the beautiful man had been staring back at him. They both came to the realisation at the same time, and Alec blushed as the other man chuckled nervously and rubbed his ear, the one with the silver cuff.
“Hi! Uhh what can I, uh, do for you today?” Alec stammered out.
“Hi,” he said, and Alec nearly melted at the sound of his voice.
“Hi.”
“Hey.” They both blushed this time.
“So,” the man blinked a couple of times, shaking his head a little as if he were righting his thoughts, “a little bird told me that you stock Clary Fairchild’s work?”
“You know Clary?” Alec asked.
The man smiled wistfully. “I’m an old family friend of theirs, known her since she was 8. She wanted to give me some pieces, but I’d rather buy it and support her, and Luke told me about this little palace of wonders. I’m Magnus, by the way. I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced.”
“Alec,” he grinned. “This, uh, “palace of wonders” is mine.”
“You stock it?”
“Yep.”
Magnus looked around the place, impressed look on his face. “You clearly have good taste.”
“Clearly,” he whispered. Magnus raised an eyebrow questioningly, and he stammered “Uh we should, you know, get back to uh-“
“Shopping, right!” Magnus smiled.
Magnus kept coming back, every week.
One week he bought a ring, and he told Alec about the media conglomerate he’d built up here in New York. Alec told him about how he moved from law to retail. He didn’t know why, but he found himself telling Magnus about the college party that made up his mind; about how he’d overheard some rich stuck up dick being homophobic, all his drone buddies laughing, and how Alec had punched the guy in the face and could only be talked down from rage by his best friend Lydia.
(He did know why, but he didn’t want to think about how much he really, really wanted Magnus to know he was gay.)
The next week, Magnus bought a necklace, and told Alec about how he’d inherited a lot of money from his mother and stepfather; they’d made an absolute fortune in importing cut flowers from the Netherlands. He told him about how he met his real father once, and automatically decided he didn’t have one. The way he said it was so Magnus that Alec found it hilarious; he definitely didn’t think that at their third meeting he could already tell what was particularly… Magnus-y about Magnus. Alec told him about Maryse and Robert; he more animatedly told him about Jace and Izzy and Max.
“It’s amazing how much you love your siblings, I’m a little jealous,” Magnus smiled.
“Jealous?” Alec asked.
“Well, on second thought, I don’t think we should be siblings…” he smirked, leaving the shop with an “Until next time, Alexander” and the chime of the bell.
The week after, Alec couldn’t even remember what Magnus bought, only that he offhandedly mentioned an ex-boyfriend and Alec’s heart soared.  After Magnus had left that day, he dug out the little rainbow flag on a stick he’d gotten at the first Pride he went to, and stuck it to the register. The only other employees there were Clary’s friend Simon and his friend Maia, neither of whom were straight either, so even if Alec cared for their opinion about it he knew it would be a non-issue. Maybe he’d even let Simon put little pan and bi flags with it, he was having that good of a day.
Magnus came in at least once a week, and always bought something, but Alec found he couldn’t care less about the money. He got to spend roughly an hour every time talking freely about everything and nothing with him, and Magnus’s visits quickly became the highlight of his week. He’d never been so comfortable with someone that wasn’t his family.
After a couple of months of regular visits, on an exceptionally quiet Tuesday, Magnus came in as usual, but with his right arm in a sling. Alec dropped the watch he was carefully fixing on the counter, not for a second considering the delicate workings, and rushed over to him.
“Magnus! What happened?” he asked, concerned.
“I got into a fight with Dwayne “The Rock Johnson,” he said, completely deadpan. Alec just gave him a look.
“Fell off the dinosaur I was riding through Times Square?” he pouted.
Alec tried to keep a straight face, he really did.
“Oh come on Magnus,” he laughed quietly. Magnus grinned.
“Okay fine, I was drunk and messing around by my pool with friends. I slipped, fell in, and sprained my wrist. And my pride. And my watch. Which is why I’ve come to see you today, Alexander!”
“Well, I can’t fix your wrist, but I can fix your watch if you need?”
“I’m sure you could kiss it better,” Magnus winked. “But to be honest, I was after a new watch anyway. And also, to see your pretty face.”
Alec blushed, but kept smiling anyway. “This way for watches,” he beckoned.
It turned out Magnus was quite particular about watches, in a way Alec could appreciate. It also turned out that with a hand down, it was up to Alec to put them on and take them off, and it took all he had to keep breathing every time he touched Magnus’s impossibly soft skin. He pretended not to notice that his own hand lingered on Magnus’s skin far longer than necessary. He definitely couldn’t help but notice Magnus did the same to him.
“What about that one?” Magnus said after trying on the ninth watch so far. Alec looked to where he was pointing, to see the one he’d hastily forgotten about as soon as Magnus walked in.
“Well, that one is being repaired right now, but if you don’t mind waiting, it can be yours?” he said.
“One of your own that broke?” Magnus asked.
“No, uh. I have this thing where people bring in their old broken watches, and if I think I can get them good as new, I’ll buy them off them. Sometimes I’ll buy them for parts. I mentioned Jace?” Magnus nodded. “Well, he runs a charity dedicated to bringing music into schools, you should hear him play piano, it’s incredible. I sell the fixed watches and donate the profits to him,” Alec said, looking embarrassed.
“Does he know it’s you? Donating the money?” Magnus asked. Alec shook his head, still looking at the floor and scuffing his feet on it. Magnus scoffed, and caught Alec’s cheek with his palm. Shocked, Alec looked up to see Magnus smiling, warm eyes searching his own.
“Why are you embarrassed?” Magnus whispered.
“I guess, I just don’t… I don’t like playing myself up. If it’s right, I just… do stuff. I don’t really think about it,” Alec whispered back.
Magnus’s thumb skirted Alec’s cheekbone, and his breath hitched. “Alexander, you never cease to amaze me.” There was something electric in the air between them, exacerbated by the contact of both hand and eyes, and the last words whispered hung in the empty space. Alec’s eyes dropped to Magnus’s parted lips, and Magnus’s did the same. It would be so easy to…
Ding!
Alec groaned, very quietly, as Magnus’s hand dropped from his face and their heads turned to see Simon walking in for his afternoon shift.
“Hey, bos- oh hey, Mr Bane!” he greeted them both enthusiastically.
“Oh, Sherwin, I didn’t realise you worked here,” Magnus said. Alec snorted.
“Uh, yes sir. Clary got me the job.”
“I hope you thanked her properly, Samuel.”
“Bought her new brushes with my first pay check!” Simon grinned. “Good to see you Mr Bane!” he called as he made his way into the back.
Alec laughed. “Do you actually know his name, or-?”
“Oh yes, but it’s much more fun pretending not to. Sooo, how much for that watch when it’s repaired, then?”
“I got it for fifty, so let’s say… a hundred dollars?”
“Make it $200, and you’ve got a deal,” Magnus said very matter-of-factly.
“Magnus! That’s-“
“A small amount for a good cause,” he said, counting out ten twenty-dollar bills. “When will I see you next for it?”
“I bet I can get it done by Thursday, for you,” Alec grinned, still bowled over.
“It’s a date,” Magnus grinned back. Alec choked a little, but Magnus was already on his way out and mercifully didn’t see. Regaining his composure, Alec poked his head round the back to see Simon coming out in his work clothes.
“I need to concentrate on fixing this, do you think you can handle the place?” he asked.
“You got it boss! Anything for love, right?” Simon grinned. Alec spluttered.
“Watch it, Sherman.”
Simon mimed being shot in the heart. “Ouch. Well anyways, I’ve got it. You go literally… watch it.” and he headed into the shop. Alec shook his head at the stupid joke, but laughed anyway, as he went to get to work.
Thursday came, the watch was finished, and Magnus didn’t show.
He didn’t show Friday, either.
Or Saturday.
Or Sunday.
He didn’t show for three whole weeks.
Alec kept the watch by, of course, but he knew that it wasn’t about the watch. He missed Magnus, wanted to see him. He prayed to the god he didn’t believe in that if Magnus came back, if he got another chance, he’d ask him out, ask him to dinner, he’d tell Magnus that he was beautiful every day if he could.
On the Thursday three weeks after Magnus was meant to come in, Alec found himself particularly miserable about it. Maybe he wasn’t meant to have a beautiful, generous, funny boyfriend. Maybe he was being dumb as hell. Magnus was a customer, for Christ’s sake. A man with business interests like Magnus, and hell, fashion sense like Magnus, probably went to a bunch of different places. Variety, and all that.
“Hey, Alec?”
Simon was leaning on the counter, with an uncharacteristically serious look on his face, and Alec had been so wrapped up in his thoughts he hadn’t even noticed him come in. “Yeah, Simon?”
“Can I ask you something personal?” Alec shrugged, as if to say Go ahead. This day can’t get worse.
“Do you uh, like Mr Ba- ah, Magnus? Like, as in like like?”
Alec didn’t even have the salt or energy in him to act annoyed. He merely sighed and nodded. He guessed it was obvious; the last three weeks he’d barely spoken a word, leaving Simon or Maia to handle the actual customer service.
“I thought so. I uh, spoke to Clary, and-“ he held out a piece of paper. “I can handle the shop tonight.”
Alec frowned, and stood up straight. “What?” he said, taking the paper.
“I got the address of Magnus’s office from Clary, who got it from Jocelyn, and I think maybe you could… go to him instead?” Simon grinned nervously. A slow smile spread across Alec’s face, reaching his eyes for the first time in weeks.
“You’re the best, Samson.” Alec grabbed his jacket.
“I’m not even mad!” Simon called after him, as he left.
Alec gave the address to the first taxi he saw, spending the whole journey nervously bouncing his leg. It only took ten minutes, but he felt like time had slowed, keenly aware of everything around and how damn reckless this was. What if Magnus hadn’t come back for a reason? What if he didn’t feel the same?
Could Alec live with not knowing?
No, he thought. Better to be rejected than to wonder what if.
He arrived in front of a large glass building, several storeys high and somewhat imposing. It had a large revolving door, which he stepped through into an equally large lobby. The floor here was black marble, gold accents everywhere and the decorations minimal yet quirky. He felt Magnus’s influence all about this place. He approached the reception, where a bored looking young man sat, name badge simply stating “Elias”.
“Uhm, hi. I’d like to see Magnus Bane?” he said.
“You and hundreds of thousands of others, sir. Did you have an appointment?” Elias asked.
“Um, no. He knows me. Can you tell him it’s Alexander here to see him?” he asked (he did not plead. Alec absolutely did not plead.)
Elias seemed to struggle to contain an eye roll – Alec was very familiar with the gesture. “Unfortunately, Mr Bane has-“
“You’re that jeweller, aren’t you?”
Alec turned to find the source of the voice, a scowling young man in a black suit. “I’m A jeweller, yeah. Alec Lightwood.”
“Well now I see why Magnus keeps going back there,” he said, rolling his eyes.
“Magnus! Is he okay? I haven’t seen him in a couple weeks, and I was worried, and-” Alec stuttered to a halt, suddenly keenly aware that he was being overly panicky.
“He’s fine, the idiota. He should be here any sec-“
“Alexander!” He knew that voice. He’d know that voice anywhere.
“Magnus,” he breathed, seeing the man come through the revolving door with luggage in tow.
“I am so, so sorry Alexander, truly. You remember my birth father, I mentioned him once? He finally died the day after I last saw you, but being his only living relative, I had to fly to England and sort out his affairs, and I just got back-“
“It’s okay, Magnus,” Alec said.
“No, it’s not, I tried to find your number online, but I couldn’t, and I feel awful about leaving you hanging Alexander, I really do. And I – well, it’s probably weird but I really quite missed you, and-“
“Magnus, it’s okay!” Alec cut him off, voice happier than it had been in a while. “It’s okay, really, it’s not your fault. These things happen. And uh, there is something good about it, because over those three weeks I realised- I realised that when I saw you again, I,” Alec paused and swallowed, looking up at the sky, mustering his courage. “What I really, really wanted, was to, um. Ask you on a date?” Alec chanced a look at Magnus’s face, unsure what to expect. Magnus’s features were still, but his eyes twinkled, and Alec hoped-
“Oh, that is good. Because I was going to ask you out when I got back.” Magnus smiled.
“Really?”
“Really.”
Alec cleared his throat, utter relief coursing through his veins. “Well then, uh, Magnus, do you want to go on a date with me?
“I’d love to. Alexander, would you like to go to dinner with me?”
He grinned, happier than he’d ever been before. “I’d love to.”
If you’d told Alec Lightwood at 25 that in three years’ time, the most beautiful man in the world would give him one of his own wedding rings and the rest of his life, he wouldn’t have laughed in your face, because he was too subtle for that. He would, however, have given you a Look that made it clear what a fool he thought you were.
More fool him.
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milakudryy787 · 5 years
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Few Clouds, 6°C
The first three chapters is up here, on this site. Read now!!!
○□♤Title:Molly's Plan's ○□♤Genre:Romantic Comedy ○□♤Plot:This story has to do with Molly and her personality; and how she aquires true love and falls for another man at a sequential time, and then makes two men fight for her love. ○□♤Characters: Molly~main character Sushanna~her best friend Mollys father~Leon Her first love~Francis Her therapist~Regina A world-wide scholar~Phil Jackson Mollys cousin~Jen Mollys pastor~Michael and several other minor characters.
Conflict scenes will come later...😊
Epilogue: The scenario
I was standing by the bedpost; all in tears after I found out the games she was playing with my head. I cant fall for her lies anymore. Though, it was a definite turn on and fantasy, as well as to add on that it was a miraculous disposition.  Besides, I was too old for games. It was just one thing after another, and though I liked fun and games, I was getting too old for this stuff. She might be the best at her game; but mine was starting to fall apart whether she knew it or not. He added a side note to this long letter he thought she would like and keep it as precious and something meaningful to her. After all, I was the one who really loved her. Who was this other guy other than just a shadow of what was stopping us from being together. Something, that she had slipped from her tongue, and I was hers forever. She would have the audacity to question me about it later. I would succumb to one word replies like yes, no, maybe, maybe so, definitely maybe, never, or I don't know. Whatever the case,  I wanted to state my feelings virtually and to the point before she loses me forever. She would be home in a few hours and I would be there, and also a shadow of his spirit floating amidst the both of us. She would have to proclaim her feelings before anything comes along and ruins the plan.
Chapter 1: The interrogation Molly was hailing a cab to the visitors house. Her love lest it be known, in which she would be succumbing to all her feelings and be swept away over his lovingly charms. She couldnt predict what was to come (although sometimes she felt she was able to have super-human strength abilities). But, maybe that was another perception on things.  She couldnt wait to be in his arms again and talk about all the things that was distracting or that she somehow misconstrued; in some ways or some sort of fashion. She was without makeup, her hair done in a loose bun, her eyes the crystal blue, with her bangs a little messed up. She was wearing cargo pants.  And a silver shirt that said 'black panther ' with silver/black boots-knee high. And for all; she was still a gorgeous girl. If all went well, she would be the "it" girl, wearing a nice-sizeable ring on her index finger for the sign-up to be married to Mr. Suave. There was no higher status ; were simply put; just privaledged and born into it.  A nice get together of close family and friends would imply that she held a certain kind of status. She knew all the sayings and how it went, but she needed to know whether she had it making babies or her fat diamond check was going to the right place which was actually the wrong place.
Molly grew up spoiled but she was taught not to rob any mens heart or a womens own self- thought. But, something in her that was perfect and innate in her. In despair, he fell to her feet.  " I was wrong, I admit!" Thus, she had nothing to worry about. It was a marvelous notion about particularly nothing of thought. Anyhow, theres a catch but she saw it. Only, instantly she saw the connection or disconnection at this point. Dont tell him how I feel about you...he..warned himself. I said, huh? What are you talking about ? You think I'm some especially, sensitive girl who has no feeling or emotions or concerns. Really, have no time for this. Things that mattered to her and that she took to heart, was disconcerting to my inner wisdom to myself. So, I told you...she interrupted her thought with something special. So, i think i can do this too. Wait. Sequential events that preceded this was serious to the extent of, all things drastically changed in your terminology. I..Hahaha.  Yeah right! Yeah...right...? Nevermind. What has to be taken into account was quite remarkably unsatisfying and ungratifyingly..that I was not reassured that things would be damaging to his self-ego. Yes, something to that extent. It was a slow and constant struggle to perform well in all her daily functioning activities. To be the woman she was born to be, a mature, sensual woman. " I stand strong as an empowered woman who wants to get established, and lead a lavish lifestyle.  Unbeknownst to the world, not as of yet but a guarantee for true happiness in the near future". There was everyone vouching for her, but she had to stand tall and face it like a man. Lion strength to the championship of all honors. Fight like a man and be a man. That was the motto.
That was just a waste of time. So, she met him by the sherubs near the Willowbrook trees and pinecone tress making face to her second visitor. He said he wanted to ask her a couple of questions. She discarded the part where he asked her because it was not important. The scenery didnt seem real and neither did his phony outtake on things. She was wearing a slim, back-less silver dress with shimmers and golden stone pendants on both sides of her shoulder blades cutting a very slender but still promiscuous V-shaped in the beginning of her neck line. Also, carrying a birgin bag and dollie shoes with crystal gems going through her back, floral print pantyhose. Hair pushed back in a side/swept bun and silver hoop earrings hung by her nicely shaped ears. Also, some cherry-red lipstick, foundation and mascara in a delicate appliance of each for the fit, desired outcome. Blair Simone Molly Parton looked like straight out of a movie scene. She wasn't the kind of girl that kisses and tells. But, she had an awful feeling there would be no kissing here. She had to take into consideration the type of man she would be discussing matters with her. It was her ex-boyfriend. Infrequently he would lie to get her to come see her. Especially for tonight, she was not pleased at all to have come to this meeting at all. She had a feeling she would have to endure all the pain from his quick assertions about certain files of deducted claims that had nothing pertaining to her. She was just sitting on the bench there looking all spectacular and forbidden, when he decided to meet her at that precise moment. He greeted her with a nod but nothing more than that. The next half hour to hour was a complete bore. Discussing these sorts of ruthless antics were from her liking and as far as she knew way over her head. She didn't particularly like to partake in similar discussions either. And, his ruthlessness and crude nature didn't help matters none. It was plain to see. When she dumped him last fall, he threatened her with a lot of his own side step motions and accusations. She knew there was danger in his words, but at the same time couldn't go around them. When he got there, they barely talked for five minutes; exchanging intermissible glances. Then, the conversation suddenly began to take root. He asked "well, what happened that day?" Yes, this is how this particular man always starts his sentences, with side note interventions.  "well, what do you wanna know. I told you everything that there is to know." He was going to start arguing with her, when she blatantly interrupted him with a side hand gesture. "please spare me the load of croc from where do you find the situation getting better when you're only going to try to antagonise me again? And, I won't stand for it. You have no say in this particular juncture Mr.Delaqua. There is no preposition, just preposterous attempts at your part. So, as far as you and I are concerned we are not together, nor were we ever really together. And, since you never took the time to listen to anything that had to deal with my upbringing., I'm only going to say this one more time and let it play on it's own accord. We have not done business together as much as you might want to see it another day. There is no foundation and current misleading attempts to raise me into a state of utter humiliation will one day pin you to that framework that you will try to connive your way of in the court of upholding law. And, deeming it necessary, you will stay far away from me because if you dont ; there will be trouble- one of which you dont care for." She shrieked.  My godmother should be coming soon and i need to speak to her about some personal matters. So, if you'll excuse me monsieur. He stared at her distractingly,  and said with intensity "you will not get away with this" as he put his forearm on her right elbow. She took his arm in her hand and whisked it away. " Whatever you have to show me is worthless on my account". She said. And, with that she got up and started to walk away with a last cry from the inner depths of this mans soul. He said, you will not get away with this. As if she needed to constantly be reminded of what stood in her way between her and her true destiny. She disposed of his words, like broken, frail, thin wisps of paper. She'd rather think about something that was actually worth her time. As he could only sit there pondering in his over exuberant context of all his spite, vengeful, and erratic, unsupported  thoughts and contemplations; she was gone from his life forever. Though, he wasnt going to be relayed that piece of information till later.
Her Godmother Angela was the kindest, sweetest, most genteel woman there was. Maybe, that is the reason why Blair picked her as Godmother. She was waiting patiently in Mocha Cafe for their soon to be held meeting. In the duration between the time she left the horrible man to his own complicated emotions and contemplations; she went back to her house to make two phone calls. First, she called her Godmother to schedule and  ask where and when they were going to meet. The second phone call was only to her friend, the chaplain, Michael who she just needed a piece of advice from. Their conversation was quick and to the point though. In three rings, and when he picked up she uttered a small hello whereas he replied with the same gesture. After the small talk at how was yesterday, and all that she was quick to bring about her sense of urgency of what she should do about the implications; behind the reasoning of what was to come through her own actions asking him to answer in the most honest way. In his dutiful manner, he had only one thing to tell her; was simply to be careful. "Blair, i knew you for a while now. And, it seems to me that you just keep throwing your heart out with this piece of work; who showed no appreciation for you with his cowardice and insolent state. I clearly see that you dont waste any time, but where are all these mishandlings getting you? No where good is more like it." She kept going in a monotone state about the exact nature of her wrongs and she obliged to sence of truth that her friend was resonating within her; to take more incentive into an active and systematic approach of her ways. Thank you, Michael.
It was approaching that time to meet with her Godmother by the cafe near the pier. The weather was cold on the clear November day. She didnt forget to put her scarf, her nice black suade coat , pink hat and black satin gloves . As she walked through the nice, clear path- it stretched for miles. Along the way,she witnessed the beauty of nature and all it had to endure. The bountiness of green and live agriculture was upon her. The large, beautiful trees and all different sorts of flowers from Roses, to lillies, to tulips, to wildflowers, sun- flowers, blossoms, carnations, hydrangeas, and daffodilswere in range. You can see weeds in thy path with lots of clear observance to the limitless skies and clouds; making odd and misinfomed shapes. As she walks, wildlife was in range from robin birds, turtles,  squirrel's,  and even a lizard; a few rattlesnakes,  and one deer she saw in plain clear view. She marveled at the special scenerio she witnessed due to being slightly tired; whereas her eyes could adapt to the whole sight. When she finally reached her destination. As she was walking in stride., there was an entire group of people by the patio lounging already and talking amongst themselves. The waitor greeted her as she came in through the double doors and guided her to the table as she placed a menu in the womans hands with a pleasant and courteous smile. Her phone, as she began to dial the numbers, it began to ring on its own. "Well, hello Angela. Im here, just waiting on you now. At what time might you think you would be stopping by?" Angel sighed, and said "give me about 20 minutes."Blair replied, "oh good, because we have a lot to talk about things I'm already struggling with and I wanted to run it by you." "No problem dear," Angela replied. "I'll be there as soon as possible, just have to grab my coat and purse, and order a trasportation which will only take about 20-25 minutes tops; since I live not too far away from the side of the island you are at." "Great" Blair replied, as they hung up. She then thought and pondered about everything and in between. Indesicively what they were going to talk about; the probable cause of why certain things just happened primarily on her part than her much older counterpart. And appallingly, as she checked the time again, there was Angela - looking so prim and proper with her hair in an established perm, a large coat, and a beautiful beam of a smile that would fill the nation; and those sparkling eyes. We meet, and greet each other.  Blair kisses and hugs her and they laugh a little before sitting down. She was already sipping on a pinata colada before Angela orders a small espresso and a blueberry muffin. "My dear, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages. Where has the time gone again." I feel the same, Blai replied.  Anyway, she went on with an encouraging nod from Angela. Blair said,  "I was meaning to say what's on my mind. While I was waiting for you to show, I was thinking of all the things I could tell you about my slight disposition.  Blair, started to say, I'm not sure of how I feel , there were so many things that kept getting in my way. And, once I finally got there it was not worth my time. I just thought I would have wanted to be reassured..." Before, she could finish her train of thought, Angela stopped her and began to say, "Hold on, I may feel I have an idea of what you are trying to say. Now, how long have we known each other, for four five years now. You know you can always say what's in your heart when it comes to me. How many times have I always lectured you on this? You shine just as bright as a star. Always have perseverance,  have confidence, and patience. Good things will always come your way, if you believe they will., sunshine. And, the most important thing to have ofcourse is- Compassion. Blair interrupted. "Compassion, yes" Angela replied back. Compassion is definitely a very important virtue to uphold, but what I was leaning for was self-respect and morality, even though compassion is a big one and is not any less important than the other ones. It seems like you are absorbed in all your extra-curricular activities. What happened to all your friends? You are making a mistake and you didn't hear it from me...but if thats what it takes, then I should reiterate that I know you have all the courage in the world; but when it comes to your sense of self-reliance, you have to stay true to your heart." Blair considered this, and replied, "I understand Godmother. You were always there for me when I needed and confided in you. But, I didnt come so you can worry or take pity on me. I am a big girl now and what my parents always tried to reinforce from the start was how to be a better me; and be more aware of my current circumstances, also as well what held in stock for me in the future." Blair, stated. It was not just a pep talk. What these womans words suggested to her was in a most profound and gentle like manner. It bestowed a kind of trust in herself and those around her, that she wanted to pronounce it an infinite certainty that she was going to do it for herself. The other, older woman came there for just that purpose; to instill a certain type of purpose for her. Though we are living in a fundamental existence, there was still a sparkle in the young womans eyes implying that she had all good things going for her and to always persevere to the top. To never doubt herself and bring herself down. They chatted for another half hour about the importance of all these self-fulfilling prophecies, virtues,  and debilitating strategies for all these basic aspects. As well, as a couple of good jokes for the road ahead and all that humanity had come to offer them.- which was essentially nothing. Which was as Patricia Angela Rotunno put it; a hospitable place to stay and some bread on the table. Not to mention the thoughtful acts of doing menial labor for their other sexual companions, she claimed. That was essentially what she was trying to engrain in the girls head before she started to pry and ask any more questions. They bid each other farewell at the end of their meal and parted ways gracefully, and in style; so when they got up to leave all heads turned their way. Before she headed her way back to the condo, located in Eltingville, New York; Blair made a pitch stop to the liquor store to pick up a bottle of sparkling wine for the lather bubble bath she was going to permit to herself later. All the while, thinking and reminiscing on the conversation her and her Godmother had earlier. It was such a nice time sitting there besides eachother laughing whole-heartedly at the perplexing sitiation standing before them.; meanwhile taking everything into consideration. It was very sentimental and relaxing indeed,  as she dipped her whole body in the bath water for pure, sheer joy. She found every inch of her body begin to relax as her body absorbed the water with pure excitement. As she clicked on Enya, took a sip of the good wine, she instantly went into a meditative state of mind. Fresh, nice bubbles went floating everywhere that gushed her face and hands with soap. She had cool ideas as she saw all those floating bubbles. My step sister from planet weird. Elsewhere was a great book,  she thought. Look, if Mars Attacks wasnt real, we would all be devoid of human interaction. Um, she took a big sip of wine: my ultimate reality was seen as having an equatable number of successful misadventures. Which she didnt especially like. Which seemed unfair to her. So, her only logical conclusion would be: it was an inevitable statement to be all devoid of emotion since partaking in this corrupt society was too much for her taking. Bored. She made swirls with her palms. So, the most radical explanation then would be such, as that I stay here while they go on to defeat them theirselves. I wasnt included in that particular jester. Lady of Snakes, or Lilith, or even Aphrodite knew nothing of my own heroic disclosures to my entertwined. Im getting too ahead of myself. And, she held back knowing that when she mentioned that she know's it will her and just herself that will be reading this in tribute; in spite of all the backlashing. Then, a flicker on one side of the wall, she could see through her vision; but it was just her right toe. It wasnt amusing.  I was becoming delirious. I decided to put all the rest of my 'logical' thoughts into place. I feel that the only other group that was similar to mine own interests only was another part of me. One of which I  will never understand.
Chapter 2: The inquisition
This is only a short chapter. The simple reason, being that was no, henceforth, inquisition of any kind needed to be made. The only questions that were asked were of nobodys to that level. Lets start from the beginning.  All dyslexic shapes was what I was good at deciphering. But, there was a man and woman of the nile. she transcended into the farthest mountains of the Evergreens in present day- Minneapolis. Hey, I think I know more than the man. In other contest, the jets scored today in this 2nd season. That was the inquisition.  Perusing her main point in focus, it was very insightful. Yet, it didnt make any sense. She stuttered, mumbling filthy incantations behind her snare, the thought was illogical and reversed it back to Normal mode. We all know the part that comes next after his valuable doctrine to her. She had to memorize it word for word. Lest, it be known that the doctrine was strictly as followed to remain constant every way. It was evidently pass that time where we can make any dramatic entrance. Apparantly,  he felt adamant about that part. All those factors didnt make any sense to her, nor in that concept. Those particular disclosures were fragments of a whole, not unlike to his teachings. Colors by Halsey was a favourite song of mine in that moment and  admiration for Gods sustainable life source and forces of Nature all as one, dually noted. The testimonial was to abide by Holy Spirit, father, and other father. So, she stuttered.,mumbled something incoherent under her breath and stepped lazily out of the bathtub.  She left the bathroom,  just thinking somehow, pathologically to herself: did the holy spirit just rape my entire being?
"I was granted access to urm, the missionary international station of Mars. I had the i.d" , (Alita, the battle angel) i would never lie to the same girl that I was a long time ago. No, I'm totally kidding. I have no redemption, coming my way which is why the inquisition probably lasted so short in time! I was told my higher preachings come from God, so I must stay focused to what I believe in. The power of my i.d on urm, would be so much more powerful than the prospect of being unhappy. The next chapter will be a doozy. =)
But first, the reason why the inquisition lasted a short time- how you would really like to know? Because, there was a girl that put the cards on the table and incriminated herself to make the process of a simple inquisition take so short of time. Hey, it was the best thing she got.
Somehow I tried to incorporate the colder than ice lyrics to frame Molly's perspective on things. How can they be so stubborn? So unforgiving of my timid and frantic outcome on things. I will read you the colder than ice lyrics in two seconds! Ok..here goes:
Colder Than Ice Lyrics There she stands on the floor colder than ice, vision fixed on the door colder than ice now she knows that she's nice golden hair and deep blue eyes noone dances her twice nothing happen so far 'cause who wants to get burned by the ice No one reach her tonight before she takes flight She's colder than ice How can I get in first hurt to intice
CHORUS She's colder than ice Colder than ice COLDER THAN ICE
Suddenly I was there and she's is in his arms all too close to him and she feels his charms couldn't see it no more could it be I'm loosing for sure Oh it's breaking me up 'cause I'm the only one who dares to walk on the ice No one reach her tonight before she takes flight She's colder than ice How can I get in first hurt to intice She's colder than ice colder than ice COLDER THAN ICE (x2)
No one reach her tonight before she takes flight She's colder than ice How can I get in first hurt to intice She's colder than ice colder than ice COLDER THAN ICE -
By Grant Miller
Chapter 3: An "any other place" situation.
"You have bad breath" She mumbled underneath her breath in his direction. He looked at her from the side, and said "what"? Why would you prolong something when he already instigated it back to her? She could never explain that which made her believe she wasnt in hades, and so she was his and his  alone in the circle of hell. He kept on going with the insults.., such as you are an evil, I should have listen to what everyone was telling me about you (My mom, my sister, Susan). She could feel heat waves fuming out of her, as he had some nerve after he insulted her to the core. What an evil bitch, she thought. The justification of these morals were as such:she didnt know. ELSEWHERE IS A FUN BOOK. Ok, so im not that special, she admitted wholeheartedly. And I wish Terminators were real. I like how they predicted my future. I could write a book about this, but I wont., its too tough to explain. Sorry,  some people cant read. Heh, that was actually funny to her. Now, the difference between men and woman is that there is only one woman for every man but the ratio for a love match is simple.. do his laundry=great sex. Understand my philosophy, or these pages will keep repeating its framework. So, in the dungeon now with no words to say except that it was cool. There is no point to this chapter either except now you know I was funny that way. So, lets start from the beginning. In my teens, I started to have premonitions. As I was making my way into my late teens, I started to have hallucinations., some which were downright scary. I was labeled as a schizophrenic for a while. Then the doctors agreed it was no big deal, although all the seminars they held for me in those institutions had me labeled as 'girl interrupted' for a while. After making an escape attempt, I was incriminated and sent to an institution for two and a half years. Now that I see that there is no greener grass on the other side through my fragmented ability to have clarity I started seeking other options through my logical pathways for a true escape out of all four corners in my mind. I started thinking like a linguist, a scholar, that girl, how all the girls would think and its entirety lay in the hands of the depths of a mans soul. He deliberately put me into a state of trance so I would see colors and only colors. I was that girl who didnt see the ending of this complexity. Paper after paper going down the drain till I get the essence of why we must not speak about these things. The reasoning behind these implications was that the whole spectral of her mindset was blasphemous, unholy and should be condemned. Who brought on these surge of emotions. That means inputting, decoding, and encoding an entire word is simple enough-  Let me know how that goes. Some girls would mock her. Blair didnt take pity on those fools. She was smart like that. It wasnt rocket science. More like boring Chemistry.  I didnt pass Chemistry, I didnt even take Chemistry, but it also had some meaning behind its implications. Oh man, she sat there thinking. I wish I could feel how I feel when I just felt that. Meditation, meditation, sleep, and Contemplation. Nothing will ever ruse my state of deep transcendental awareness at this time.CHORUS.  And then it stops. And starts again. It will never stop apparantly. 
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