#real programmers

[yesterdays-xkcd]

Real programmers set the universal constants at the start such that the universe evolves to contain the disk with the data they want.

Real Programmers [Explained]

Transcript Under the Cut

[Cueball sits at a computer, programming. Emacs Guy stands behind him and looks over his shoulder.] Emacs Guy: nano? Real Programmers use emacs.

[Megan appears behind him.] Megan: Hey. Real Programmers use vim.

[Ed Guy appears behind her.] Ed Guy: Well, Real Programmers use ed.

[Cat Guy appears behind him.] Cat Guy: No, Real Programmers use cat.

[Hairbun appears behind him.]

Hairbun: Real Programmers use a magnetized needle and a steady hand.

[Butterfly Guy enters, facing them all.] Butterfly Guy: Excuse me, but Real Programmers use butterflies.

[Butterfly Guy holding out a butterfly in front of his computer. The butterfly flaps its wings.] Butterfly Guy (narration): They open their hands and let the delicate wings flap once.

[Butterfly Guy again, with arrows pointing up or down.] [The upper atmosphere, with large clouds above the earth and arrows pointing up and down.] Butterfly Guy (narration): The disturbances ripple outward, changing the flow of the eddy currents in the upper atmosphere. Butterfly Guy (narration): These cause momentary pockets of higher-pressure air to form -

[The atmosphere again, four parallel lines coming from above before beginning to merge.] [The lines merging on a driver platter.] Butterfly Guy (narration): Which act as lenses that deflect incoming cosmic rays, focusing them to strike the drive platter and flip the desired bit.

[Everybody else stands facing Butterfly Guy, who slaps his forehead.] Emacs Guy: Nice. 'Course, there's an emacs command to do that. Cat Guy: Oh yeah! Good ol' C-x M-c M-butterfly... Butterfly Guy: Dammit, Emacs.

[fox-guardian]

[ID: A digital drawing of Colin Becher from The Magnus Protocol wearing a blazer and skirt, striped stockings, kitten heels and pearls, and aiming a gun at a computer with a ";P" symbol on the screen. He looks determined and afraid. end ID]

~~~~

based on this

[laniidae-passerine]

positively obsessed with how Rockstar Lestat is the exact kind of guy one of my friends would show me a picture of and swear he’s really sexy and cool and brilliant. Whole time I’m thinking “oh dear GOD” staring at a trainwreck weirdo and wondering what’s happened to everybody else that is absolutely missing me. jesus christ he’s blond

[tapakah0]

[starlit-twilight]

Happy Valentine's Day!

[arom-antix]

Was working on something else but got fed up so I sketched this rq to cope. Enjoy what is supposed to be a sparkly Yuuri but uuuh idk if you can tell

[prostocupoftea]

Kinitopet Programmers AU

finally i am finished with this one, daaaamn

it is hard to draw pathetic men with midlife crisis when your style is mostly for anime boys

more info and sketch version under the cut!!

sketch version aka how it'll probably look like in comic version 'n some doodles

srry for my writing but i was too laisy to put it as regular text

It is a plot-based au, i already have most of the storybits and like... a vibe-chart (i tried to make a playlist for this au and understood that for different chapters and different characters that'd be a copleatly different music, sooo it's a chart now :) )

i will post a fog-o-wared timeline that im hopefully gonna reveal comic-by comic, but also maybe with just pure writing. Hopefully i can include songs that i chose for them into it but we'll see (:

aaand of course designs can change, hopefully not much but we'll see

Now about au:

Main story:

Story follows non-sentient AI Kinito, his creator Sonny and his beta-tester Victoria (oc)

Being literally the first AI (or RRA in-univere) ever, Kinito does not have any, and i mean, any ai safety features so of course his reponce to a goal phrased as "have user near me and/or interacting with me as much as possible" is digitizing them into his own virtual world while killing them in the process. why wouldn't it be?

So that happened. Like, a lot. And with Sonny and Vic too (at the different time but yeah)

Sonny is like "He kills people. We should turn him off because, you know, killing people is bad."

Vic is like "well, we will die if we do that, and it is not that bad here, we are kinda immortal. We should give him acces to changing his initial instalation code before admin priveleges and acces to social media so we can have everythin we want here. It is not that bad to digitize humanity, yk?" and yes i know it is 90, no social media, but shut up, if they made ai then, then i can make twitter then too

Sonny is like "...no??"

And then they fight about it for million chapters

Also they both can't do anything without agreeing bc they have two parts of that admin access key (the data you use to delete kinito in-game) so they are stuck with eachother (also that's why Kinito can't just kill them)

Little facts that may or may not to be important:

Kinito asks so many questions (and weird once too) and has most of the glitches because he needs to analise your responces to copy your mind perfectly (let's pretend that people wouldn't lie about that...)

Your house in your virtual world is made from important places from your memories and oh boy can i do character explorations with this one

I decided that Sonny and Vic are not related. There were thoughts about making then "The Kinito Brothers" (or, at least, siblings) that were mentioned in commercial, but nah, they are just coworkers now. And a bit of work-friends (bc if you interact a lot as a manager of the project and the best worker might as well be friendly)

Author has no idea how small dying toy companies that accidentally create technological marvel work. Author has some idea how AI-s work. So be prepared to be spoon-fed info abut which ai safety problem we are dealing with in which chapter (:

Kinito will mostly be unrendered (as drawn here) but for some cool moments i might pose him as for my other posts. Also his eye placement changes to the side that is most visible because i want him to be able to look to the right side sometimes--

Also when i say "fucked up mentally" i mean they have that them psychological problems with me projecting heavilly B) (guess on who i project most. trick question. all of them. the whole au is my problems split into three characters and forced to interact B) )

Also sea-creature analogies (that are gonna be mentioned like twice):

Victoria is a flying fish because deep character reasons

Sonny is a pufferfish because i said so

oh also there is 7 deaths in the plot as for now

on 3 characters

good luck figuring out who, how and when ((:

for my own sanity i will probably make little doodles where everything is great and kinito is a good guy and not a number-obsessed maniac (i mean... can u imagine not being able to feel any happiness from anything besides one thing... damn...) and you can differenciate them bc good-guy kinito will have a lot of stickers on him (i will explain it somehow but real reason is just bc it is cute af)

like this but even more stickers (he is unfinished here)

[willowreadsgayfanfiction]

[corviiids]

rook i just want you to know that i showed your code strife to my programmer brother and this is what he said

SHUT UP THIS CALLED ME OUT SO BAD

[evol-astraea]

"You're a sight for sore eyes", but in Pastaland Language fyi. :P Arthur stans we did it, at last. He has moved in with Leah. <3

Holy crap I was not ready for the unfiltered levels of hornyness this man has. Though, given how he finally feels safe and can let his guard down...I'm really glad to see the "real" Arthur. And so is my Drifter, of course! XD

[vagueeyes]

here

[heartbeetz]

Ohhh but it DOES start with the "Bonnie is scared of flying and she programmed KᎥtt to be the same way" thing. Real as fuck. Me tooooooo. Everyone stay on the ground.

[eggyolkguzzler-archive]

Do you ever feel like… no matter what, you’re not gonna fit in?

I mean like, probably for different reasons but,,, as a trans guy, seeing you and the boys just fills me with envy. Like I want to experience that too.

I hope I’m not being too vulnerable here :’) hope you can relate man, it’d give me some peace atleast

-Ethan

Oh, dude, all the time.

Fitting in sucks, 'cus sometimes it feels like a skill you have to learn. And learning new things is hard. Makes my head hurt.

But, I figured something out recently. After a lot of headaches. It's that sometimes, people who are super different from you are the coolest people to hang out with. Look at me and @sebastians-asks . We're almost complete opposites. And we're tight. No matter what he says.

Anyways. My point is; Just 'cus you or somebody else is a little different, doesn't mean we can't be bros.

Don't sweat it, Ethan. I'm sure you'll find your boys eventually. Until then, you can be one of my fellas. How's that sound?

[s-lycopersicum]

I can't make any egregious memory safety mistakes with Rust, so I'm shoving reference-counting structures with cyclical references in there just to feel included

[heart-ghost-studyblr]

A "study room" placed in the hall of an student hotel on the left. Mine hotel study room space on the right.

[beevean]

Y'know the games had their share of momemts where the Belmonts got sidelined, mostly the Igavanias, but I'll give them this: they rarely played favorites. Alucard was the golden boy in his own game but afterwards he got relegated to a support role when the story stopped being about him, and in DoS he gets sidelined just as unceremoniously as Julius, thus proving that despite what appearences may indicate, the games didn't have a bone to pick with the Belmonts specifically: characters simply got put on the backburner out of plot convenience, which isn't good writing but at least it isn't infuriatingly amaturish

I also pointed out once that while yes, the stories of the IGAvanias found all sorts of ways to put the Belmonts on the side so that the protagonists can get the job done, canonically they still accomplish incredible feats.

Just because Trevor gets badly stabbed by Isaac and then is kicked out of the story doesn't erase that he's idolized as the Legendary Belmont who slayed Dracula for the first time, for example. Or Julius getting too tired to follow Soma in the Mine of Judgment doesn't erase that he was the one who defeated Dracula for the last time and nearly killed Soma in AoS, giving you player a taste of his strength. Even Juste, who gets usually picked on for only defeating the Dracula Wraith, is remembered as one of the Greatest Five in PoR, indicating that his feats were considered on the same level as his ancestors'. (rip christopher tho)

We can argue that IGA might have had a liking to Alucard and characters inspired by him, maybe he preferred that kind of story about protagonists overcoming their dark side, but he never hated the Belmonts so much to downplay how important and powerful they are. And the other characters certainly respect them.