#really bad pickup lines

[moeblob]

[snekverse]

Hey, if you can't take the heat, get out of your clothes ;3c

[sodapopcurtis-dx-asks]

whats your best pick up line?

He smiles for a moment and thinks. He doesn't have a fucking clue.

Best one? Well, I dunno about my best one, because all of 'em seem to work pretty well on whoever I'm flirtin' with! ;)

But, I'd say my favorite is when one time Johnnycakes tried flirtin' with a girl at the DX and, haha! It was the funniest thing ever.

I tried to make him feel a little confident, get some pep in his step, but that boy was quiet for a reason. He was terrible with words. He goes up to the girl, right? Super smooth, real confident.

He freezes up, he goes...

“You got nice teeth.”

She never even opened her mouth.

He laughs to himself a bit, shaking his head and getting back to writing.

The poor guy had to rush himself off and sat behind the counter with me for the next 2 hours, he was so damn embarrassed. Man, that was funny.

[thereallycoolmonsterithoughtup]

babe, to me you're cooler than any monster i could think up!

[hoodoo12]

[evillillad]

SURPRISE!! Silvie with some pumpkin bread to celebrate the spooky season!!!

visitors beware

[angrybatart]

Saw the prompt list for "Repostober", but I don't have old stuff saved to my phone. So I'm just redrawing old stuff like I had been planning to for a while.

So here's a redraw of a panel from one of my oldest Darkest Dungeon comics.

The original panel! You'd have to scroll for QUITE A BIT (unless there are shortcuts on pc that mobile doesn't have) to find the full original comic.

[annestie]

Shitty Pickup Lines

Summary: Ao'nung learns some new pickup lines and tries them out on his husband

Pairing: Ao'nung x Neteyam

Word Count: 344

Notes: For Day 11: Flirt of @bellakotzent Avatar Valentine's Week.

Yay! More fluff lmao. I wanted to post this like way earlier today but I somehow got roped into watching the Super Bowl with my family which was fun, we made bets on how many times they would show Taylor Swift, but I had like no time to write today because of it.

It starts with a little comment from Ao’nung. Neteyam doesn’t even realize it’s anything more than his mate just being the romantic he is. They’re preparing some fish and it can get a bit boring so when Ao’nung calls his over, Neteyam doesn’t think twice about setting down the fish and his knife.

“Hey, Neteyam, look at this, it’s the most beautiful thing,” Ao’nung says, pointing to the water. Neteyam curiously peers over the edge of the pathways to see his own reflection.

Neteyam lets out a laugh. “Skxáwng,” he jokingly says, looking back up at Ao’nung.

However, it doesn’t stop there. Ao’nung keeps spewing his lines, ignoring Neteyam’s confused looks.

“Have we met before? Because you look like my first husband,” Ao’nung says with a smirk.

“You are my husband,” Neteyam replies before turning back to his task.

“Do you believe in love at first sight? Or must I walk past you once more?” Ao’nung continues with a smirk on his face.

“I do not think anyone would call that love at first sight,” Neteyam comments with a small laugh, going back to the fish with his knife. “Really, it seemed like the opposite.”

“If nothing last forever, will you be my nothing?”

“I think it is too late to do anything else, but I would happy to,” Neteyam says, smiling. They’re already mated and married, there isn’t much else to do besides maybe acquire a child somehow though that’s a pretty farfetched idea.

“Aside from being drop dead gorgeous, what do you do?”

Neteyam pauses and looks at his mate, a realization falling over him. “Are these human pickup lines?” he asks with a chuckle.

Ao’nung looks to be holding in a laugh as he continues, ignoring Neteyam’s question. “Kiss me if I’m wrong, but-”

At this point, Neteyam simply rolls his eyes and grabs ahold of Ao’nung’s necklace to pull him for a kiss. When they lean back from each other, Neteyam smirks. “If you wished to kiss me, you could have just said that.” Ao’nung’s left grinning like a fool.

[mattsmemes]

[tewwor]

[ ADJUST ]: sender sits in the receiver's lap in order to fix their collar or tie or other item of clothing. / from hitoshi for higu !

sitting on someone's lap meme ( accepting ) — @enruint

There are better, more convenient, ways to do this.

The thought cycles around and around in his head. Doesn't stop even for a second. If anything, it only grows louder — somehow more persistent the longer they sit like like this. Bodies facing one another. Legs stacked, midsections nearly touching, faces only so far apart.

It's maddening. Simple as that. Hiromi's certain that he's going to lose his damn mind. Especially with the knowledge that his collar hadn't even been that crooked to begin with. The starched angle was about a cool twenty-five instead of the usual ten.

And yet, here they are.

Here they continue to be past the idle fixing of clothes.

"You know..." He starts off slow, almost lethargic with the drag of words. "If you missed me that much, you could've just said so." There, at the very corner of his lips comes the briefest twist of humor. "Or do I have some sort of magnetic pull that you just can't resist?"

[clowndensation]

emmrich/asa grindr au where emmrich's bio mentions he's a necromancer, so asa tries to use a "good thing you're a necromancer, because i wanna suck the soul outta you ;)" style pickup line on him, only for emmrich to follow up with like 10 messages about the current theory on "near death experiences" and soul attachment theory related to it existing separately vs as an intrinsic part of the body

and then the 11th message is like "but it's a valuable ambition worthy of research"

and asa just has to sit there and try to figure out if that's him finally flirting back after getting sidetracked, or if that's a neutral statement about the general concept of soul removal.

[technicolorxsn]

I dont get the appeal of eboys.....

[ilyasorokinn]

good taste , clark kent

note, okay, guys wow you really enjoyed the last little thing i wrote. i love you all, thank you so much!! i've now seen the movie, so expect more stuff!! pair, clark kent / superman (2025) x reader summary, clark can't get drunk, so whenever you go out with friends, he's always there to make sure you're okay. warnings, drinking, alcohol, getting drunk word count, 1024 words (sorry it’s shorter)

(gif not mine)

The cup in his hand was beginning to get slippery as the ice melted. He set it down, wiping his hand on the napkin before his eyes went back to the dance floor.

This was not how Clark imagined his Friday would go. He wanted to get home, put his feet up, throw a pizza in the oven, or order if you were feeling fancy, watch movies still you fell asleep, and that would be his night.

Instead, he found himself sitting in the back of some bar, drinking a lukewarm cup of whatever, watching you to make sure no one got too close to you or your friends.

He didn't have to come; in fact, he invited himself.

When you walked through the door with Clark trailing behind, your friends moaned and groaned because it was supposed to be a girls' night. But, Clark managed to convince them to let him stay with the promise of driving everyone home. And how could they say no to a Clark Kent smile?

So, he sat in the back of the bar, sipping a lukewarm drink, eating some stale chips, and watching you. He couldn't help the smile that was growing as he watched you dance freely with your friends.

He straightened up in his seat as you headed over to the bar. You greeted the bartender with a polite smile, ordering your drink, then going back to your friends.

He deflated when you got back safely, going back to his stale chips. With all his attention on you, he totally missed the girl walking over to his table until she put her hand on his shoulder.

He flinched, almost jumping out of his seat as he whipped around to her. He stared at her with wide eyes, "Hiya, hotstuff." Clark winced at her bad pickup line, trying to push her hands off of him.

"Ma'am." He nodded, trying to find you in the crowd. He cursed to himself when he couldn't find you.

"Who're you looking for?" The girl pushed her hands onto his shoulders, messing around with his shirt.

Clark ignored her, pushing her hands off and standing to his full height. He fixed his glasses and straightened out his shirt before walking away from the table he had been sitting at and leaving the girl behind.

"What the hell?" The girl outraged, running back to her friends. He could hear her complaining about what a douchebag he was, but he didn't care about any of it.

His eyes moved around the bar, trying to find you. He was losing hope, and honestly, he was beginning to panic. He looked away for maybe 5 seconds, and he managed to lose you.

"Clark?" He heard a familiar voice, and suddenly, calm washed over him, and everything returned to normal.

When he turned around to your confused and worried face, he let out a relieved noise and wrapped his arms around you. You let out a noise in surprise when he picked you up and lifted you off the ground.

"Oh!" You wrapped your arms around his neck, clinging to him, "Are you okay? You looked kinda worried." You pulled away and looked into his eyes.

"'S nothing." He shook his head, "Just happy you're here." He hummed happily.

"All right," You were still confused, "I got you a shot, though. I was trying to find you, but you weren't at the table."

"Yeah..." He scratched the back of his neck, pulling away from the hug and setting you back down on the ground. "Just needed to stretch my legs." He didn't want to bring up the girl because while he might have been nice about it, you wouldn't be if you had found out.

"Huh." You nodded, raising a brow and studying him, but letting it go, "Here you go." You handed him the shot.

He shot it back, putting on a show of wincing before looking back to you, "So, do you girls think you'll be done anytime soon?"

"Why? Don't tell me you're getting tired on me, Clark." You joked, crossing your arms with a teasing smile.

"No, ma'am." He shook his head with an equally teasing smile, "Just wondering when I'm gonna have the become the chauffeur." He joked.

"Soon, probably." You reassured, glancing back at your friends who barely even noticed you were gone, "They're all sort of far gone." You could feel a buzz in your head, but you weren't fully drunk yet.

"All right, I'll wait over at that table." He pointed to a different table in the opposite corner.

"Did something happen at the other table that I should know about, Clark?" You raised a curious brow.

"No," He shook his head, "Go have fun." He kissed your head, sending you on your way back to your friends.

He took a seat on the empty stool that would give him the best view of you. People probably thought he was a creep, just sitting there and watching you, but he didn't mind.

His smile brightened when you made your way over and plopped yourself onto a stool right next to him. "Tired of dancing?" He asked.

"My feet hurt." You moaned in pain, lifting your foot up and taking off your shoes. He reached down wordlessly, lifting one of your feet into his lap and helping you take your shoe off.

"So, what happened at the other table?" You leaned your head into the palm of your hand and looked at him.

"Nothing." He shook his head.

"Clark, I know you." You tilted your head to the side, "What happened?"

He took a breath, beginning to rub your foot that was in his lap, "There was a girl." You nodded. "I ignored her, and that's why I moved tables." He shrugged.

"Okay," You nodded.

"Okay?" He looked surprised. "That's all you have to say?"

"Clark, you sat here all night watching me and my friends, and now you're rubbing my feet. I think we're pretty stuck together." You joked, leaning forward and cupping his chin, "But, I have to admit, she has good taste." He rolled his eyes.

-

add yourself to my taglist!

(if you filled out my last taglist... i'm sorry you have to fill it out again because i forgot to add the spot for usernames 😭)

[lipstickontheglass1985]

wow it is truly striking how relevant ds9 remains to be after all these years. plot points such as "quark tries to secretly make deepfake ai porn of kira" seem to be even more material today than 30 years ago !

[hoodoo12]

[masterhallmark]

Rant incoming

I feel like the problem with a lot of Disney's live action remakes (and arguably Wish) is they're trying to appeal to a crowd that no longer exists, namely the people who used to claim that the Disney Princesses were sexist.

All the interviews tend to include, "Well she's not chasing a MAN anymore" which...almost no one sees the princesses like that, anymore. Virtually NO ONE still believes the princesses are man-chasing sexist caricatures of women.

Cinderella is now hailed as an abuse victim who stayed strong long enough to get help to get out of her situation. Anyone who says she should have saved herself is basically regarded as a victim blamer. And it's very clear in the film she wasn't looking to marry the prince, she just wanted a night off. She was the only one who wasn't in line to meet him. She didn't find out she met the prince until he went looking for her!

Snow White is now hailed for her negotiation skills, ability to calm down after extreme stress (she had a moment of panic and had to cry for a bit, but who wouldn't after finding out The Queen hired someone to kill you?), and ability to take charge of a house of adult men. And again, she was an abuse victim, this time trying to escape ASSASSINATION ATTEMPTS. While she dreamed of her prince, it was secondary to her main goal of SURVIVAL. There are also entire video essays about how Snow White gave hope to people during The Great Depression.

Everyone acknowledges that Ariel wanted to be human BEFORE meeting Eric. We all know she was a nerd hyperfixating on humans, and also standing up to her prejudiced father.

We understand Sleeping Beauty wasn't the main character, the Three Good Fairies were, AND PHILLIP WOULD NEVER HAVE BEATEN MALEFICENT WITHOUT THEM! He literally depended on them! WOMEN SAVED THE DAY! But even then, is it really such a sin for a girl to fantasize about romance and fall for someone with corny pickup lines?

We all understand Jasmine just wanted someone to treat her LIKE A PERSON. She rejected every Prince before Aladdin because they treated her like a prize. So why did they need her to want to be Sultan? How did that make her more feminist when she already wanted to be treated like an equal and have a say in her future? Is it only empowering if you want a career in politics?

We admire that Belle, despite living in a judgemental village, was kind to everyone (even though she found the village life dull), and her story teaches girls that the guy everyone else loves isn't always a good guy. What's sexist about teaching girls about red flags? And she didn't start being nice to The Beast until he started treating her with respect and kindness.

Do I really NEED to defend Mulan or Tiana? I think they speak for themselves.

Rapunzel was yet another abuse victim who just needed a little help to get out of her bad situation. In this case, she also needed to learn that she was an abuse victim, and that what Mother Gothel did WASN'T normal, much like many victims of gaslighting.

And don't get me started on the non-princess animals.

Perdita had a healthy relationship with Pongo to the point she was open to express her pregnancy fears to him, and was ready to TEAR APART Cruella's goons for daring to touch her puppies as well as adopting the other puppies. Like, she was so ferocious the goons mistook her for a hyena! She's basically that "I AM THAT GIRL'S MOTHER!" scene from SpyXFamily if Yor were a dog. She and her husband were a TEAM.....but they made a Cruella live action to turn her into a girlboss?! The literal animal abuser!? THAT'S the woman you wanted to put on a pedestal when Perdita was RIGHT THERE!?

Duchess kept her kittens calm after they had been catnapped and was classy as heck. Nice to everyone regardless of social class during a time period where that was uncommon.

Lady stood up to Tramp when she believed he had abandoned her and didn't really care about her. She found out he was a heartbreaker and was like, "Nuh uh. No. You are not doing that to me! You put me through enough."

Miss Bianca from The Rescuers was IN CHARGE the whole movie, and was willing to risk life and limb to save an innocent child. THAT TINY MOUSE TOOK ON ALLIGATORS! And she picked Bernard to accompany her because he was the only one who wasn't ogling her. And then in the sequel SHE DID IT ALL AGAIN! I wish I were as brave as her.

Like, the public haven't accused these ladies of being sexist caricatures since 2014 (Actresses and actors don't count, they're out of touch like the rest of Hollywood) yet Disney is operating under the assumption that the public still thinks that way, hence all the "sHe'S nOt AfTeR a MaN iN ThIs VeRsIOn" talk.

The live action remakes are trying to attract an audience that doesn't really exist much, anymore, and back when it did exist, was comprised mainly of people who didn't actually watch the films. The Disney princesses are no longer seen as sexist, and feminine qualities are no longer seen as weak or undesirable.