#really old and terrible fanfics for your humor and pleasure?

[sojourner-between-worlds]

Rather than subject myself to the Complete Humiliation of posting old things anew on ao3 but since judging from that poll I made ages ago now that ya'll just as desperate for content as I am, lol, I have decided to link all of my old Yugioh 5Ds fics here, complete with short (spoiler-free!) commentaries about what you can expect from these ancient monstrosities. (Yes, the links are to ffn; don't complain about ads if you still aren't using an adblocker in the year 2023.)

Under the cut since there are quite a few and commentary doesn't help make it any shorter of a post, lol.

General Notes: **Posted in FFN publication order; fics posted on deviantArt at an earlier date have that noted. **The earliest fic is 13 years old. I won't tell you how old I was but... it was much younger than now, lol. I was 16/17 okay? A Baby. **As stated above, commentary is spoiler-free so feel free to read that before clicking through (actually, I'd recommend it; there are trigger warnings on a several of them that appear in those notes). **I had not seen the sub at all/ all the way through at the time, so all names/terms are from the dub. Similarly, some details may also be different. **Feel free to laugh at all of these, but please laugh about them here on tumblr and not on FFN. If you leave me a comment over there, I won't know you came from here and that it's in good faith instead of just being mean-spirited. (Or, if you feel you must comment there, at least tell me you came from this post. But I would love to interact over them and I probably won't do that with FFN comments.) Feel free to laugh (because God knows I did while re-reading some of these), but let me laugh with you.

Proceed at your own risk.

A Secret Kept Originally Posted: April 7, 2011 (First posted on dA -Aug 14, 2010) Summary: When questions of his past surface, Yusei uncovers a 20-year-old secret that someone will do anything to keep hidden - even if it means murder! Length: 22 chapters (~36.5k words) Commentary: -- This was originally posted in three parts on dA but was combined for ease of subbing on ffn. -- Trigger Warnings: ya know, murder if that wasn't clear in the summary, lol; gun violence (in relation to the murders), vehicle accidents, dubious science -- Don't ask me what I was on when I named OCs, okay? I don't know. Pretty sure in my head "Kale" was not pronounced like the leafy green stuff, lol. Maybe there was supposed to be an accent on the 'e'? I don't know so don't ask. (I'm laughing about this, okay? Feel free to laugh too.) -- There's one chapter early on that gave me second-hand embarrassment so hard that it is the reason I am not posting these on ao3 at this time. I contemplated cutting it out but then realized I couldn't because, as terrible and cheesy as it is, it's too relevant. Just. Just keep that in mind. -- Medical Inaccuracies. Because I was Young and it makes for better drama. I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. It's so terrible. It killed me ten times over. I am so sorry. -- I had zero concept of the layout of the garage apartment. But, then again, I feel like most people don't, lol. -- The timeline is waaaaaaay off in places. Whoops. In my defense, streaming as a whole was pretty new at the time and I didn't have a way to re-watch episodes yet except pirating, which, you know, I had to do for the last 20 anyway, but I digress, lol. -- I have nothing to say about the plot except: Yeah. It gets Weird in places. The resolution is also Weird. Probably not any Weirder than the sequel, though, honestly. (....or any weirder than some of the things that happen in canon, for that matter.)

Changing the World Originally Posted: April 25, 2011 (First posted on dA -Sept 11, 2010) Summary: Crow is fed-up with the way Kalin is running the Enforcers! What happens when he walks away? Length: 4 chapters (~4k words) Commentary: -- Slightly canon-divergent but still fits in the overall narrative. -- Trigger Warning: suicide (It wasn't actually suicide but you don't even find that out in this fic, so.) -- Why did I ever think first-person POV was a good idea? It is not. -- Very loosely tied to both a collab listed below (A New Hope) and Angels and Devils but not truly necessary to read this one first. (Its connected by one name and one event. That's it. That's all. lol) -- I started rereading this one and then Did Not. Make what you will of that.

Shattered Soul Originally Posted: May 1, 2011 Summary: Yusei has always been the quiet, almost shy one of the gang. Jack is the one to explain why this is since only he, Martha, and Dr. Schmidt know the truth. Some reasons were never meant to be understood... and this is one of them. Length: 12 chapters (~21k words) Commentary: -- Trigger Warnings: semi-graphic depictions/descriptions of child abuse, graphic self-harm, gang violence and murder (mentioned) -- The second half of this fic was entirely unplanned when I started, so there is an abrupt shift in story-telling about half way through. -- The timeline doesn't quite match up correctly with canon, but I'm just gonna blame that once again on not really having a way to rewatch episodes back then, lol. -- This one actually got a sort-of one-shot re-write, lol. The re-write ended up almost entirely different, but this was where that idea came from. (You can actually read that one on ao3 because it's pretty recent.) -- If I were to actually fully re-write this one in the future (I never will), I would absolutely not format it like this. The format is pretty terrible, and some things should just...not have been written the way they were, lol. (Please excuse the info dump that is chapter 4, for example.) -- This one is also loosely tied to the collab listed below (A New Hope) but not necessary to read first since we didn't actually get that far into the collab for it to make a difference. Just a fun fact for you. (There was an unresolved plot point that was intended to resolve in the collab, but we didn't get that far. So if you read this and wonder about something, yeah it was probably that, lol.)

Scattered Memories Originally Posted: June 7, 2011 Summary: 50 Yugioh! 5D's related one-shots and drabbles. Length: 18 chapters (~14k words) Commentary: -- Clearly this is not 50 chapters. I never finished it because I started writing for a different fandom and lost interest. Ironically, I also started a theme challenge for that fandom as well that I never finished (though that was because my hard drive crashed and I lost the list, lol). -- I did not reread this one since it is just one-shots. There's nothing terribly memorable about them that bares mentioning, however, so... make what you will of that.

Chain Reaction Originally Posted: June 23, 2011 (First posted on dA -Dec 28 2010) Summary: If you had the power to change the past, would you? This is the question Yusei receives from a mysterious stranger. Will he accept the invitation to stop Zero Reverse from ever happening? Length: 10 chapters (~18.5k words) Commentary: -- Ye old cringey "what if"/alternate timeline fic. Except it doesn't actually happen. And nothing is explained at the end. -- I read about the first page and noped out of it. Maybe it gets better, hard to say. Let me know if it does if you actually dare to read it, lol. So unfortunately I can't really warn you about anything since I haven't read it in who knows how long. Sorry. You're on your own on this one, folks. -- (I do remember it being fun to write, but that doesn't really mean much. I'm sure I had fun writing all of these, after all, lol.)

The Camping Bet Originally Posted: June 26, 2011 Summary: What starts out as an argument between Jack and Crow turns into an all-out bet, guys vs. girls! The guys don't think the girls can last in the wilderness without electricity and running water; the girls think likewise of the guys. Who will win the bet? Length: 8 chapters (~12.5k words) Commentary: -- I only wrote about the first half of this one, so when there's an abrupt shift in writing style, that's why. Debated not including it, but I still like the premise honestly, and it was a lot of fun to write. -- Features my former best friend's OC, Elodie Kumari. You don't really need to know anything about her for this fic, though. Except that she's dating Crow? I think? I didn't reread this one, either. -- Incorrect geography. I did not look up places in Japan. I used the Boundary Waters in MN, USA, because I've been there. I have no regrets about this, however. -- I did skim the first chapter, but since I didn't re-read it in full, I apologize that I can't alert you to anything weird. Like replacing all of the 's's with 'z's in Sherry's dialog since she's French. I'm sure that seemed like a good idea at the time... *shrugs*

Darkness Before Dawn Originally Posted: Sept 24, 2011 Summary: Sequel to A Secret Kept. The worst has happened: Yusei is dying and the doctors can't figure out why. Now the gang must call on an old enemy for help… But will he be able to help? Will the gang find out what's going on before it's too late? Length: 11 chapters (~17k words) Commentary: -- I don't know where this absurd premise came from, but also it's really not that absurd within the Yugioh universe, so. Whatever. (It's so nutty but somehow I still love it? Idek.) -- Medical Inaccuracies. In part due to the dubious science of the previous fic, but hey. Also because of, ya know, magic and stuff. But also because Drama. Same as last time. -- Look. All of these are cheesy. But this one? Takes the cake. By a mile. (Also very majorly shippy --YuseixAki-- if you're into that, lol. Very minor JackxCarly and CrowxSherry but like. barely.) I had to stop reading a couple of times to gather myself. It is an ooey-gooey mess. -- So many epithets. I am so sorry. -- Also so many typos. I don't know why its so bad in this one, but it really is. -- (Also, where were the twins through all of this? I have no idea but I didn't write them in this and it actually makes zero sense that they aren't present, considering certain events. Me @ past!me: care to explain yourself? lol)

Angels and Devils Originally Posted: Nov 6, 2011 (first posted on dA -Feb 7, 2011) Summary: Naomi Mori may live in the Satellite, but her life isn't as horrible as most - that is until one so-called friend turns everything upside down. No shippings, mostly OC's with mentions of cannons until the second half of the story. Length: 4 chapters (~12k words) Commentary: -- Ye old cringey OC story. 'Nough said. -- This one was originally posted in two parts (Looking for Angels and City of Devils) on dA but was combined for ease of subbing on ffn. -- Trigger Warnings: gun violence (someone does die), suicide (that's actually not but still), implied attempted sexual assault (me @ past me: excuse me but why) -- The only reason I posted this one over to FFN was because of the collab listed below because Naomi plays a large part in it and readers needed to know who she was and her history. -- Side note: as someone who actually plays the game now but didn't when I wrote this, the deck I created for her is absolutely terrible. As in, nonfunctional except for anime duels where you always get exactly what you need, lol. -- I have no idea if half the cards I use in these duels are real cards or not. I know I made some of them up, but at this point, I don't remember which ones, lol (with the exception of one that is very obvious when you read it). There is definitely some Absurd Things going on in this duel. I'm pretty sure I did not count cards and even though I'm not counting them now either, I'm pretty sure this character does not have this many cards available to him, lol. Little Me did not know anything about dueling, lol. Take everything with a grain of salt.

A New Hope Originally Posted: Jan 2, 2012 (First posted on dA -May 2011) Summary: Construction has begun on the bridge that will finally connect the City and the Satellite. But certain people aren't happy with the City's decision to unite the two places and will stop at nothing to make sure the bridge is never completed! Length: 12 chapters (~37k words) - Discontinued Commentary: -- I am still Mad at myself and my collab partner for having never finished this. It tied so many fics of both of ours together and resolved some previously only hinted at story lines. But -- wouldn't you know it -- we got stuck on a duel. We technically wrote past that, intending to just come back to it later, so there are probably at least 3 chapters that never saw the light of day because we never frickin got the duel written before we both moved on to other fandoms. *sigh* (She's also the one who had the notebook we passed back and forth so I don't even have access to those chapters anymore. Hard to say if she even has it anymore. It's very sad. I'm very smad about it, lol.) -- The first couple chapters are okay but a few chapters after are kind of a drag, not gonna lie. But they are also now essential because said collab partner decided to rewrite her OC story (that is rehashed in this one) and never finished the rewrite but also deleted the original. So those few chapters are really the only place the full story exists now, sadly. (If you really want to read what there is finished of the rewrite, you can here: Birds of a Feather. Also, if you are in desperate need of yet more really old and cheesy fics, her writing was always better than mine, haha.) -- After the first ~5 chapters, I really, really still love the plot, okay? Parts of it were really, truly genius. I kind of wish I could go back and finish writing this fic, but sadly...I cannot. For a lot of reasons, I won't get into here, haha. But yeah. If you can get passed the opening few chapters, I think you may still enjoy the rest of it. -- There's this really weird part where we wrote in first person despite the rest of it being in third person. I stand behind that decision for what we were wanting to do, but also terrible. Horrible. Should not have done that, and I think we could have found a way to write it in third. -- While I have reread this one recently, actually, that was still probably at least six months ago so I didn't reread it for the making of this post. Therefore, not a lot of commentary on the fic itself other than the parts I can remember.

Lay Your Weapons Down Originally Posted: May 27, 2012 Summary: After being married for two years, everything they fought so hard for is falling apart. Yuaki Length: One shot (~1600 words) Commentary: -- There was supposed to be a companion piece to this with Jack and Carly, but obviously I never wrote it. -- Contains the above collab partner's OC shipped with Crow but that's not the focus and you don't really need to know that much about her beyond that. -- Honestly? Didn't reread it. Super cheesy if memory serves, though, haha.

I Never Meant For This To Happen! Originally Posted: June 8, 2012 (First posted on dA Jan 26, 2011) Summary: Kalin is hauled away by Sector Security. Yusei wonders at his friend's mistake. Length: One shot (~750 words) Commentary: -- Nothing really. Didn't reread it either, honestly.

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There we have it; ye old 5Ds fics. If these haven't completely scared you off from my writing, I do have a whole three fics I've written recently that you can find on ao3. I hope you enjoyed reading these (or at the very least that they gave you a good laugh at the absurdity of it all).

[iwishicanbeagoodpianist]

Crazy Poets Club part 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (It's mostly Bucky dealing with his problems and therapy, but there's a bit of romance). There's also a bit of Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers (you know Buck dealing with Steve's absence).

Summary: In one of her therapy sessions, Dr. Rayner recommends Bucky to find a new hobby, at the cultural center (which is open in the evenings, offering an incredible variety of hobbies and activities) Bucky meets some very interesting people and understands that maybe life has moments to live for and to be happy.

Warnings: None for now, but in the future, topics such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, among others, will be discussed.

A/N: I'm not a fanfic writer at all, this story is an original story of mine, I feel that the main character fits very well with Bucky's personality, that's why I decided to adapt it as a fanfic. This could go very well or very badly, we'll have to see. I also apologize in advance because my original story is not written in english, so this is an adaptation and a translation. I will always appreciate corrections and suggestions, just be kind :)

please do not repost my work

Bucky doesn't know which one is worse, the weight of the flyer in his hand, full of vibrant colors, taunting him or the weight of his therapist's gaze waiting for a reaction from him to her latest suggestion. It's time for you to get a hobby James. The words still echoing in the air of the room as, the man in need of a new hobby in question, tries to steady his breathing and his thoughts. Two minutes away from saying one of his typical comments like "beating people unconscious with my metal arm isn't considered a hobby?" but holds back as he looks up and sees Dr. Raynor's eyebrow rise defiantly in anticipation of such a comment. Bucky shuts up just for the pleasure of not giving her the satisfaction of knowing him so well. No one knows me as well as they think they do, no one fully understands what is happening to me.

- "You want me to join a knitting club????" -

- "It's a cultural center James, there's more to it than just knitting, you can find something that allows you to reconnect with reality, your old self, didn't you have any hobbies when you were young, in the 40s?" -

- "killing Nazis?" -

And here we go again, a wry smile from Bucky, an eye roll from the doctor and a whisper that sounds something like "God give me patience because if you give me a bat....." you did it again Buck thinks the one who caused said comment as he mentally pats himself on the back.

- "I understand that your humor is the way you deal with things you don't want to deal with, but this is just a suggestion from me, no one can force you into anything James, things have to come from you" -

But James is already riding the train of cynicism and black humor, which has enough fuel, 100 years of pure spite, to not be easily stopped....

- "...the next step is for me to be put in a nursing home and play Bingo every Wednesday and Saturday with Gertrude and Hans, while we talk about the weather and how our knees hurt because it's going to rain." -

With a sigh of resignation, or relaxation as she saw the time on the clock on the wall and knew that the session had come to an end, Dr. Raynor replied:

- "James, just think about it, our session is over for today". -

Getting up, as he sloppily folds the flyer and tries to bury it in the bottom of his jacket pocket, Bucky decides that today he's going to eat a large pizza with extra pepperoni and cheese crust, from the new pizzeria around the corner from his apartment, because, as the Doc says "no one can make me do anything and things have to come from me, like the fucking dinner I'm going to eat today no matter what", and as he opens the door with a smirking smile he turns to look at Dr. Raynor's face one last time (for this week).

- "well Doc, thanks again for your time, see you next week." -

Sighing, thinking what she did wrong in her old life to get stuck in therapy with what could easily be a 16 year old pubescent boy in the body of a guy who in spirit is over 100 years old but looks like a 30 year old guy living his second mid-life crisis. I guess this is my punishment for being a terrible big sister in my youth. Dr. Raynor replied:

- "see you next week James, please think about the culture center, it's a good place, even I go there sometimes during the week."-

-"wow Doc, I didn't know you liked to knit, and to think that I am the one who is over 100 years old here."-

- "I'm really not going to knit, I'm going to...you know what? Never mind, this is not about me, it's time for you to stop doing this, the world owes you nothing James, none of us are your targets for you to spew your venom filled comments to deal with your problems" over 20 years of career and professionalism thrown away thanks to a grandpa who SHOULD be in a nursing home playing bingo, well done Christina. But his thoughts are cut off by the sound of the door slamming shut. -

- "after I'm done with this patient I'm going to retire and move to Cancun, for good."-

Bucky's only thought as he walks down the office hallway is "well apparently my hobby is draining my therapist's patience, which if I may say so, I'm really good at". He also thinks the new green paint they decided to put on the walls, just last week, is the grossest thing anyone has ever seen, "now it looks like the wall is full of snot and vomit."

"Green conveys peace and tranquility, don't you think James?" says Dr. Raynor in last week's session when he made a comment about the abrupt change in the color of the walls. "Well yes, people will find peace, when they die at the sight of that hideous color."

Let's just say the session did not improve after that comment. "nobody can make a joke anymore because everything is taken badly, what is this twitter????? It's twitter? tuitor? What is that thing called? Well never mind" thought James as he walked out the door while the characteristic jingle of the bell hanging on the door sounded. "my God I hate this thing, everyone HAS to know you are entering or leaving any place" with an annoyed sigh Bucky puts his sunglasses back on even though it's already 5 p.m. and the sun is about to set.

Sunglasses are the best thing ever, no one can see how I roll my eyes every time someone says something stupid, or how I judge them for their crappy life choices. Therapy would be easier if I could do it with my glasses on. "James please, this place is safe for you, you don't need to have your glasses on, could you take them off for our sessions?", somehow, I convinced the doc to keep them on, until I fell asleep with them on in the middle of the session and she noticed after 10 minutes. She looked at me with so much hatred and contempt, after that I decided not to have the glasses on anymore in the sessions, let alone the lady lose her coolness and kill me while I fall asleep again. The Doc really needs a raise in her salary just for having to put up with me.

As he walks through the super-congested streets of New York, stuffing his hands into his jacket, his hand collides with the flyer his therapist very kindly gave him with the idea that Bucky is closer to living in a geriatric home than to solving his personal problems and maybe getting a girlfriend. "I really hate this century" he thinks as he tries to concentrate on the pizza he will have for dinner, well not so much, at least in this century there is cheese crust.

[fandom-collective-writers]

What He’d Never Lose (Nobunaga Oda x Reader)

Fandom: Ikemen Sengoku

Pairing: Nobunaga Oda x Reader

Prompt: Jealous Ikesen Nobunaga, fluff and smut, making up after a fight

Warning: Smut and Fluff

Intended Audience: Female Audience

Word Count: 4,132

Requested by: Anonymous @ikemen-discord-writers

Written by: @lordsister

Disclaimer: I do not own Ikemen Sengoku or any of its characters. I do however, own the plot of this fanfic. Please do not reblog or repost this on any other website.

He had balls, Nobunaga would give him that, even if he was a fool for thinking he ever had a chance of wooing the Devil King’s queen.

Taking another swig from the sake in his hand, Nobunaga glared as the river of honeyed words continued, drawing polite chuckles from the girl seated at his right. It was a wonder Lord Kunieda hadn’t noticed the warlord’s red gaze yet, intense and burning as it was and for so long.

“My lord,” Hideyoshi murmured next to him, a question in his low, angry tone. It was clear he wanted to tear the visiting lord’s head from his neck just as much as Nobunaga did.

Holding up a hand in answer, Nobunaga didn’t bother looking at his vassal, keeping his gaze set firmly on this idiot who had the audacity to romance a woman while she sat at her lover’s side. There was going to be hell to pay for this, he would make sure of that.

From the moment the Lord Kunieda had arrived, his unworthy eyes hadn’t left (y/n), every few minutes bearing witness to a new attempt to butter her up with sweet words and compliments, the man even going so far as to lay a pile of luxurious gifts from his province at her feet in a very obvious attempt to win her affections. 

He hadn’t gone any farther than words and his gaze had remained respectfully on your face, but Nobunaga still didn’t like it, especially since you didn’t seem to express even the slightest discomfort in response to the lord’s advances. If anything, Lord Kunieda’s friendly disposition made matters worse. It would have been easy to cast him out in shame if he had been lecherous or untoward in any way, but he was neither of those things, blinding you to the desire Nobunaga could see lurking just beneath the surface. 

When his gaze lingered on you just a moment too long or he moved just a little too close to you to be considered simply friendly, Nobunaga saw it, the same interest he felt towards you reflected in the other man’s eyes, the impulse to take you away and intimately learn all there was to know about your strange, wonderful self, so different than any other woman of the Sengoku. 

But your were his treasure, your love his and his alone, and Nobunaga would be damned if he ever let another man take you away from him.

He continued to watch, calculating his next course of action, as you continued to talk with the visiting lord, enthralling him without even knowing it. It seemed as if you and he hadn’t stopped talking for a moment since he arrived, your conversation continuing well into the evening as the Oda warlords and Lord Kunieda’s traveling party feasted on an elaborate banquet.

He watched with narrowed eyes as Lord Kunieda poured your sake for you, a sign of utmost respect, and you thanked him, bringing the red cup to the lips he’d kissed so many times. It was a simple gesture, curious as Kunieda had yet to pour for his host and superior, but nothing to be as overly upset about as Nobunaga was now, the flames of his anger effectively fanned.

This lord wasn’t here to make an alliance if the minimal amount of words he had spoken to the Oda warlord was anything to go by. If anything he was here to make a marriage alliance. To say that Nobunaga was jealous would be an understatement. His blood was boiling with rage and the desire to take you away to his rooms and mark you again and again and again as his own.

Nobunaga had never been the kind to hide his displeasure and now was no exception. Enough was enough. 

“Lord Kunieda,” he began, wrapping an arm around your waist as he did and drawing you so close you were practically sitting in his lap. In his peripheral vision he saw you look up at him questioningly, but ignored it in favor of holding Lord Kunieda’s gaze which had snapped up to meet his for the first time since he arrived. Nobunaga took an odd pleasure in the way the man froze under his gaze, mouth pressed into a firm line as he struggled to school his features. 

“Y-Yes, my lord?” Kunieda replied, shuffling in place uncomfortably.

‘Yes, squirm, fool.’ Smirking savagely, he continued, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were here to steal my princess away from me.” A hush fell over the banquet hall and he felt you freeze against him, shooting him a warning look, but he ignored it. “You must have an abundance of confidence in yourself and your province to make such advances in the very presence of your host.”

Lord Kunieda’s jaw dropped, his mouth opening and closing ridiculously before he choked out, “M-My most sincere apologies, my lord! It-It was never my intention to come off as rude!”

“Oh?” Lifting a brow, he watched pitilessly as the man sunk into a bow, his shoulders shaking slightly. “Then what were your intentions?” All pretense of humor was gone from his voice, replaced with cold hostility. 

The hall was silent, the room holding its breath. Lord Kunieda finally spoke, his voice shaking as he answered, “I only wished to learn more about the Oda Princess of Azuchi everyone’s speaking of. I’m terribly sorry for letting my own curiosity get the best of me. It was never my intention to make advances or insult my host. Please, don’t let my thoughtless actions reflect on the success of our alliance.”

All eyes turned from Kunieda to Nobunaga who lounged against his armrest, you still tucked safely against his side. “I’m afraid I’m not in the most gracious mood tonight. I’m sure you can understand why.”

Kunieda said nothing, but Nobunaga saw his throat bob.

“I-” he began, but stopped. He would have gladly sent the prostrating lord back to his province empty-handed with his tail between his legs that very second, but his eyes suddenly shifted down to yours and what he saw there gaze him pause, the smug expression on his face falling. Your gaze was pleading, desperately asking him not to do what you knew he was about to do, and while a part of him grew angrier over the fact that you would defend someone who was obviously interested in taking you away, the larger, better part of him knew you were right. He couldn’t blame a man for feeling as he did for someone as amazing as you, but oh how he wanted to tear him apart anyway. “The night grows old,” he finally said, looking back to his audience. “I’ll make my decision to continue as planned or not in the morning.”

A collective sigh or relief went through the visiting party, Lord Kunieda thanking him even as he remained in his bent position, forehead pressed to the tatami mats. A few grumbles went through the Oda forces, but they complied with their lord’s decision anyway, rising to their feet to retire to their individual manors for the night.

Bringing you up with him as he stood, Nobunaga said, “I need to speak with you in the tenshu. Now.” He didn’t wait for your answer before taking your wrist in a gentle albeit firm hold and leading you out of the room, ignoring your questions and complaints as he pulled you up the stairs and through the sliding doors.

“Nobunaga, what was all that about? What were you talking about when you said he was trying to steal me away?” you demanded when he released you, your tone angry and confused as he turned his back on you to close the doors.

He didn’t answer your questions, instead stating, “I’m going to send Lord Kunieda away empty-handed tomorrow morning.”

“What?! Why?!”

His glare met yours, his form towering over you as he took a step closer. “I have no interest in making alliances with men who don’t know not to touch what’s not theirs.”

“He wasn’t trying to make advances on me, Nobunaga!”

“Yes, he was. And you weren’t doing anything to deny him.”

“He wasn’t doing anything wrong!”

Nobunaga scoffed, taking another step closer so that he had you cornered between himself and the wall. “He’s supposedly here to make an alliance, but he hasn’t spoken more than ten words to me. He seems to have plenty to say to you, however. He’s kept your attention from me all evening and you seemed to be enjoying it well enough.”

“I was not!”

“Don’t lie. I saw you smiling at him.”

You pushed hard against his chest, trying to put some space between the two of you, but he didn’t budge. “I was being polite, Nobunaga! If you have this lord’s support, that’s one less province you have to take by force! Why are you being so jealous?”

Taking your chin a little more harshly than he intended, Nobunaga forced you to look up at him, to meet the fire in his red eyes. “He thought he could get close to what’s mine, (y/n). I could see it in the way he spoke to you, the way he looked at you. Are you really so naive and foolish that you cannot tell when another man wants to spread your legs?”

That was too far, and he knew it the second after it passed his lips. The next thing he knew there was a slight stinging sensation in his hand as you smacked him away, your expression hurt and angry as he watched tears bead in the corners of your eyes. 

“I can’t believe you,” you choked, stepping away from him before he could reach out to catch you. “I can’t-” Turning on your heel, you bounded out of the room, the sliding door smacking against the doorframe as you pushed it aside in your rush to get away from him. 

Nobunaga shouted your name, taking a few steps after you, but you were already long gone, your pounding footsteps growing faint as you disappeared down the corridor. His outstretched hand fell to his side as the warlord bit his lip, head hanging in shame. 

His own cruelty astounded him. How could he have said something like that to you, the person he loved so, so much; the only woman he would ever love? 

As much as he wanted to chase you down right that instant and hold you close, erasing all the bad as he begged for your forgiveness, he knew that would only hurt you more. You needed time to yourself until you were ready to accept him crawling back into your good graces. 

For now, the Oda warlord gently closed the door to his room and sat down on the futon, preparing to wait through the long, sleepless night ahead while the pain he had inflicted on you burned bright in his mind and tears pricked at his eyes. 

He was the real fool in all of this. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took a week for him to crack, his patience wearing thin as desperation began to set in.

Nobunaga hadn’t slept since his fight with you and what rest he did get was fitful and shallow. The morning after his blunder, with Lord Kunieda and his party anxiously awaiting their fate, he had decided to allow the alliance to proceed anyway, lest he risk incurring any more of your wrath. It surprised everyone in attendance but no one was willing to question it. Even Hideyoshi didn’t dare come near him, sensing the dark cloud hovering over his lord. Kunieda left soon after, saying something about needing to get back to his province, and while you were sure to have heard news of his decision, you still didn’t come to see him.

Nobunaga strained to catch little glimpses of you throughout the days, watching you from the balcony of his tenshu when you went into town, assigning you work via Hideyoshi that brought you closer to him, even peaking through the doors of your room to watch you sew whenever he passed by, keeping as quiet as possible.

As the days went by without a word from you, he grew more and more exhausted. It was lonely without you. His nights were either spent working or staring at the ceiling of the tenshu. He couldn’t sleep without you beside him.

Finally, exactly a week after the fight, he couldn’t take it anymore. He had to make things right with you. He was willing to get on his knees and beg if that’s what you wanted. He just had to have you back in his arms. Anything to stop this agony of being parted.

Rising from his futon, Nobunaga quietly opened the doors and slipped down the stairs, shuffling to your room. A light emanated from beneath the door, but when he knocked softly there was no answer. Calling your name as he opened the door, he found your room empty, a lamp burning low in the corner and half-finished sewing pieces scattered across your desk. The cover of your futon was turned out on one side, signifying that you had gotten up some time during the night just like he had. 

Leaving your room, he continued his search for you. He wasn’t going to wait any longer to settle this. He couldn’t.

Nobunaga caught sight of you in the courtyard, sitting on a stone bench and looking up at the moon and stars. His heart thumped in his chest as he stood in the shadows, watching the way the milky light bathed your features, making you ethereal. You were his angel. The only thing that would have made you more beautiful to him in that moment was if there had been a smile on your face. Instead, there was a heaviness to the set of your shoulders, an unspoken sadness that he knew he was to blame for.

Stepping into the courtyard, his wooden sandals crunching on the stones revealed his presence to you. Your eyes snapped to him, clear and surprised in the starlight, and he held your gaze, unable to look away even if he wanted to. This was the first time your eyes had met his in a week. Nobunaga’s hope grew when you didn’t make a move to run away from him, but he stopped before he reached you, leaving a few feet’s space between you and him.

Neither you nor he dared say anything, lest the moment break and the pain and heartache come rushing back in. Lifting his hand in a silent offer, he held his breath as time stretched between the two of you, hoping with all his heart and soul that you would take it, that you wouldn’t turn away from him.

With a shuddering breath, you closed the distance and threw yourself into his arms, fully accepting him. Nobunaga could’ve cried it felt so good to have you close again, warm, safe, and loved. His lips pressed to your head, lingering as he took in your scent and held you tighter.

“Can you forgive me, my love?” he spoke, his voice a low murmur in the night air as you nuzzled into his chest. “Can you forgive me for being a fool?”

You nodded against him, biting your lip as you whimpered and clung tighter to him, your tears wetting his kimono. “Yes,” you choked, taking in a shuddering breath. “I forgive you, Nobunaga.”

“I’m sorry, (y/n). I’m so sorry I hurt you.” The warlord could feel tears of his own pricking his eyes, a burn forming in his throat as he tried and failed to keep his voice steady. 

“I forgive you, I forgive you,” you repeated, tilting your head up to look at him. To his surprise, there was a smile on your face, so happy and joyful even as tears continued to stream down your cheeks. “I’ll always forgive you.”

The relief was almost enough to send him to his knees at your feet. His lips captured yours, desperate to feel you after so long without you. Your arms moved from his torso to his neck, drawing him even further down to you as your lips moved with equal passion. Nobunaga didn’t let you go until both of you were thoroughly breathless, even then only pulling back just enough to draw in air, his forehead pressed to your own. “Thank you. Thank you, (y/n).” Giving you another quick kiss, he murmured, “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too,” you responded, cupping his cheek in your hand lovingly and brushing away the few stray tears that fell with your thumb. 

Catching your hand to press his lips to your palm, he looked at you questioningly, wondering if he had the right to ask you this yet or if the hurt was still too fresh. “Will you come back to bed with me?” 

You blinked, processing, before a bright smile appeared on your lips, and he couldn’t help but smile back. “Nothing would make me happier right now, my love.”

He didn’t need more confirmation than that. Taking your hand, the two of you practically raced back up to the tenshu, trying to stay as quiet as possible (not that it would matter later on). Several times, Nobunaga traded joyful smiles with you, and you had to stifle your giggles more than once as he leaned down to give your ear a playful bite.

A weight had been lifted from both of your shoulders, the exhaustion of sleepless nights falling away in response to what the rest of the night promised. There was happiness now where there had been hurt an hour before.

His lips were on yours again before the sliding door was fully closed, eagerly swallowing your moan as his tongue met and tangled with yours. Laying you back against the futon, he continued to kiss you as his hands smoothed up your legs to your obi, parting your kimono and baring your lower half in the process. Kissing down your jaw to your neck, he bit and sucked at the tender skin, leaving marks that would bloom into beautiful hickeys later on. 

“Nobunaga,” you mewled, hands fisting in his kimono as his fingers probed at your dampening heat, stroking up until he found the bundle of nerves and pressed on it. He smirked against your neck as you arched beautifully, pushing your breasts towards him and crying out his name. His name would be the only thing you could say by the time he was done.

You whimpered as his hands left you to tug his kimono off and he chuckled, smiling at you as he moved farther down your body and hoisted a leg over his shoulder. “Patience, my love. I have a lot to make up for and I plan to do it...thoroughly.”

Your hands fisted in the futon a moment before his mouth met your core, his tongue licking a strip across your slit as his thumbs stroked at the insides of your thighs, feeling them tremble against his head. He moaned at your sweetly familiar taste and his grip tightened as his tongue slipped inside of you, satisfying his starvation for you. Your moans grew louder and your hips bucked against his face as his hand stroked up your thigh to pinch your clit, drawing circles around the bud with calloused fingertips and drawing you ever closer to your release.

“Ngh-! N-Nobunaga, I’m-!” He hadn’t realized he’d closed his eyes in rapture until they flew open, his mouth detaching from your core with a wet pop and a cry of protest from you. Not yet. He wasn’t going to let you have that pleasure you so wanted just yet. Not until he was buried deep inside of you, falling off over that edge with you.

Leaning back on his haunches to look at you and lick away the traces of your essence dripping from his chin, Nobunaga felt his breathing quicken as he took in the beautiful way your breasts heaved, skin flushed with pleasure, hair spread out around you like a halo, and legs splayed in desire and trust for him. A low growl tore from his throat at the sight, his cock becoming painfully hard as his instincts screamed at him to shove himself into the woman he loved and prove to her there was no one better for her than him, that he was the only one for her. He swore he’d never seen anything more beautiful. You shivered under his hungry, primal gaze, an answering whine rising from you as your lust and love filled eyes beckoned him to take what he wanted, to become as close as possible.

Still, there was one thing he had to do before he could take you the way he wanted.

Reigning himself in for a moment, he leaned down to press a kiss to your breast, feeling your heart flutter beneath his lingering lips. “I never want to hurt you again,” he promised softly, leaning into your touch as your fingers carded through his hair. The expression you were giving him when he looked up had shifted to something so tender and loving, he almost thought this was a dream, that he was actually slumped over his desk in reality and that you were still hurt, nursing your broken heart.  But when he lunged up to kiss you again, desperate and passionate, he knew this was real, your warmth and the feel of your small hands on his back pulling him closer too vivid and familiar to be a dream.

Your lips abruptly broke away from his, your head thrown back against the mussed covers with a moan, when he suddenly rutted between your legs, coating his considerable length in your wetness and prodding against your entrance teasingly. With a moan of his own, Nobunaga’s lips attached to your exposed neck, his breath fanning across your skin as he breathed hard with need.

“Nobunaga!” you begged, wrapping your legs around his waist as you tried and failed to pull him into you.

“Who do you belong to?” he husked into your ear, a deep part of himself needing to hear your response, to soothe the wounded beast that wanted nothing more than to destroy any other man that looked at you.

“You, Nobunaga,” you answered breathlessly, turning your head to look him in the eye. “You and only you, forever.”

“That’s right.” In one smooth thrust he plunged himself into you all the way to the hilt, his roar joining your scream of pleasure. It felt unbelievably good, feeling your walls squeezing and fluttering around his cock as he drove himself into you again and again, imprinting his name into the deepest parts of you. “You’re mine, (y/n). I’m never letting you go,” he snarled, one large hand holding yours above your head while the other gripped your hip, holding you in place. 

Each thrust was punctuated with the word “mine” as his fingers tangled with yours, squeezing as he kissed you again, sloppy and breathless. It wasn’t long until he felt his peak approaching, the tightening of your walls signaling your own impending climax. Releasing your hands, he moved back to your clit, pinching and pressing enough to send you over the edge just as he did, roaring your name into the night as his release filled you to the brim and your own dripped down his length. Your satisfied cry of his name rang in his ears as he slumped over you, panting into your ear as your chest rose and fell against his with your own harsh breathing. A few moments passed, but he didn’t pull out, his hips continuing to move against you once more. Nobunaga wasn’t done making love to you tonight. Not by a long shot.

His thrusts were slow, deep, and forceful now, making you feel every inch of him as his body joined with yours. “I love you,” he said softly, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he did and wrapping his arms around you, holding you safe and loved.

You embraced him back, body moving in gentle waves to meet his thrusts. “I love you, too.” He could hear the smile he loved so much in your voice, the smile he’d wished to see for so long. “Always.” 

For the rest of the night, he held that smile close as he continued to make love to you. Nobunaga had what he wanted most - your love - and looking into your eyes and seeing the way you looked at him was enough to know he knew he would never lose it.

[inmyownlittlecorner5]

libera nos a malo Chapter 5: Mari Lwyd

A fanfic Novel by la-topolina

Rated for Mature Audiences

Warnings: Language, Violence, Sexual Content

Chapter 5/20

libera nos a malo masterpost+

unstoppable force/immovable object masterpost+

<< Chapter Four+

Chapter Six+ >>

“Mira, are you ready yet?” demanded Finn.

“Almost. Are we late?” Miranda replied as she dawdled in the bathroom, braiding her hair and adjusting her cloche hat. Since she’d been a child she’d been slower than molasses on Sunday mornings, and today was no exception. Driving her brother insane was just a side benefit.

“Seeing as you can get us there in an eye wink, not yet. But in another five minutes we will be.”

“How long do you think we’ll be out?” she asked, half to herself. “I should probably pack my evening regimen in case I need it.”

“Good God, woman! Do you ever plan ahead?”

“Sometimes.”

Finn muttered under his breath while she moseyed to the potions closet. She took her sweet time selecting the vials and balms, being sure to charm them against breakage before putting them in her woven handbag. While she was double checking her list, a terse knock and the sound of the cabin door opening broke her concentration completely.

“Howdy stranger,” Finn said, sounding entertained and frustrated together. “Sis, it’s your boyfriend. You comin’ with us?”

“It would appear so,” Severus replied.

His tone was so neutral that, without the benefit of his facial expression (however subtle it tended to be) Miranda could not tell what had possessed her lover this morning. A volatile combination of pleasure, surprise, confusion, and exasperation coiled itself in her chest, like an adder ready to strike; and it took her some minutes to master herself, lest she embarrass him by too great a show of affection in front of her brother. Sometimes Severus reminded her of a skittish colt; one that had been hurt one too many times and required a firm but measured touch.

She did allow herself a satisfied smile when she came out into the main room and saw that the Englishman had taken the trouble of dressing in his No-Maj-style Sunday best. In his well-cut gray suit with his hair pulled back he was a pleasing study of angles and lines; even if he was a trifle on the thin side from lack of care. His dark eyes were brewing with a mixture of resignation and irritation; but they warmed when they made contact with hers. It was a little thing, but it was enough.

“I’m glad you came,” she said simply.

He gave her the barest of nods, and Finn muttered something she didn’t quite catch but that she thought included the accusation “moon-eyes.” To her surprise, Severus offered her his arm, and she took it eagerly, ignoring her brother’s amused snort.

“Seein’ as now we are late, do you think we could get a move on?” Finn asked as he pushed past them and out the cabin door.

“Relax, Finn,” Miranda replied. “If we get there by the Sanctus bell, it counts.”

“Good thing, too,” he said, but the grin he gave her over his shoulder bespoke his good humor over the familiar situation.

It was an unseasonably warm winter day; one of those false springs that give rise to foolish hopes, no matter how bleak the times. At the end of the lane Finn reached out to take his sister’s hand, and the three of them disappeared together.

*****

Miranda’s knees buckled when they appeared behind the squat stone church where it crouched like a lopsided mushroom sprung up in the sandy soil; and Severus was quick to slip his arm around her waist to keep her from collapsing completely. Landanwg was far enough from her cabin that she’d had to Apparate them all to a half-way point before making the final plunge, and the effort had literally taken her breath away. She panted, clinging to Severus’s sleeve while her magic spilled out of her like blood from a wound.

“You alright?” Finn asked, his brow furrowed in concern.

“I just need a minute,” she snapped, frustrated by her weakness. “Go on ahead. I know you hate being late to Mass.”

Finn looked dubious until Severus insisted, “Go. I have her.”

“Fine. But if y’all ain’t in there in ten minutes I’ll be comin’ out after you,” Finn warned as he set off for the front of the church.

When her brother was out of sight, Miranda allowed her head to rest on Severus’s shoulder, and he pulled her close as though he might help her put herself back together by force of will. Her head was still spinning from the trip, but as she forcibly slowed her breathing, she could feel her magic start to wind itself back into her core.

“Are you steady now?” Severus asked after she’d stopped trembling.

“I think so,” she replied, smiling up at him. “We’d better go in before we miss the whole thing.”

“Indeed.”

It was later than she’d thought it was, and the little church was filled to the gills. Severus’s arm tensed under her hand, and she knew he was irritated at being put in the unwanted position of disturbing the proceedings; but he soldiered through the embarrassment, leading her up the middle of the simple room where Finn was saving a spot for them both. They managed to settle themselves on the worn pew just in time for the Sanctus bell; and Severus sat rigidly upright as Miranda and Finn knelt on either side of him.

As the minutes ticked by, Miranda’s mind started to wander; and not even the hearty Tantum Ergo sung by the tiny, but stalwart choir could help her bring it under control. Soon she spotted Rachel pacing in an alcove with a very squirmy baby in arms, and she made good on her escape from the tedium of the pew.

“I’m going to go help Rachel with the baby,” Miranda whispered to her disgruntled lover, and was up and away before he could fully register his displeasure with the arrangement.

“Good morning Maggie, you look smashing today,” Miranda said when she reached her goal.

Maggie babbled a string of vowels attached to the letter B and reached for her godmother.

“Thanks,” whispered Rachel distractedly as Miranda scooped the child into her arms and began arranging the frothy pink skirts of the little one’s Sunday dress.

“Yes, that is an angel right there on the wall,” Miranda said, following Maggie’s gaze and guessing at her babbled questions. “Oh, and look! Here’s a little daffodil along the window. Isn’t it nice?”

“I didn’t know Severus was coming with you today,” Rachel murmured, looking rather distressed.

“I didn’t either. He showed up right before we left.” Miranda whispered back. “I hope it’s not a problem he’s here.”

“No! That is, it wouldn’t be, except for Robert.”

“Robert? Robert Walker? What’s Severus’s being here got to do with him?”

“He invited himself along.”

“He didn’t.” Miranda’s eyes quickly scanned the room, and there indeed was Robert Walker, standing shoulder to shoulder with Aaron at the far end of the front pew.

“If I’d known Severus was coming, I would’ve put Robert off.”

“It’s not your fault,” Miranda reassured her, even as her heart started to pound. She had no idea how far she could trust the Ambassador, and today was not the day that she wanted to find out. “We’ll think of something.”

Even as she made this empty boast, the Mass ended, and the congregants streamed out of their pews with their Deo Gratiases barely out of their mouths. There was nothing the Americans could do besides be swept along with them, and Miranda winced as she caught sight of Aaron, Robert, Finn, and Severus coming together with the terrible inevitability of a train wreck. Aaron’s face was as flushed as hers felt, and the last thing she witnessed before the movement of the crowd brushed her outside to await the damage was Robert sticking his hand out to Severus in friendly expectation of being introduced.

The ladies extricated themselves from the flood of humanity and gathered together beneath an old ash tree. Rachel started tugging Maggie’s little cloak in place, and Miranda fussed with the folds of it in order to give vent to her nerves.

“I’m so sorry,” Rachel said.

“Don’t be sorry, you didn’t know,” Miranda replied. “But when they get out here, follow Severus’s lead. He’ll have come up with some sort of cover, I’m sure of it.”

“Right.”

Maggie was squirming in Miranda’s arms and would not be content until Rachel took her back. Miranda regretted letting go of the child, though. Now she could only watch with growing apprehension for the men to exit the church.

“Are you ever going to tell me what that man really does?” asked Rachel, putting on a brave smile and encouraging Miranda to do the same.

“I hope so. But not today.”

They caught sight of their party at last, and Rachel busied herself with putting Maggie in the baby-carrier and fastening all the ties. Miranda kept her face as immobile as possible, fairly confident that she looked less anxious than she felt. Aaron’s smile was obviously forced, Robert’s expression was enigmatically pleasant; Severus’s face was blank except for the periodic twitch of an eyebrow, and Finn looked like he’d never been more amused in his life. Her brother gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before walking a little downwind of them in order to light up a cigarette. She’d be joining him as soon as humanly possible.

“Miss Rose, what a pleasant surprise,” Severus said with a suavity that she’d not realized he possessed. “I did not know you were such a close confidante of the Lees.”

“It’s a small world,” she replied in kind. “Nice to see you in the open air.”

“Likewise.” He turned to Rachel, effectively dismissing Miranda. “Rachel, I thank you for the invitation, and for the most recent pages of the Nagasaki potion text. It is truly fascinating reading.”

“You’re so welcome, Severus!” Rachel replied, her voice a little too high. “And thank you for joining us.”

“Miranda! Good to see you this fine morning,” Robert said, shaking her hand and flashing her a grin that reminded her uncomfortably of the Cheshire cat.

“Good morning, Robert. I didn’t know you’d be here,” she replied, pleased at the way she kept her observation from sounding at all pointed. Severus, if he noticed, didn’t show it; and he determinedly engaged Rachel’s attention about potion minutiae.

“Wouldn’t miss it. It’s been too long since I’ve been down to Wales.”

“I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m starving,” said Aaron, sweeping in and taking charge of the situation.

“You read my mind,” Robert replied. “Where do we get a bite around here?”

“There’s a little pub over yonder. The cawl there’s not to be beat.”

Robert and Aaron set off at a good pace, and soon were deep in a conversation about Embassy matters that were of no interest to anyone but them. Rachel, Maggie, and Severus fell in behind them, still discussing the potions text, and Miranda allowed herself to linger behind with her brother. Finn handed her a cigarette, and as soon as the others were out of sight, he let out a boom of laughter that he’d obviously been restraining for some time. Miranda couldn’t help but join him.

“That boyfriend of yours is quick on his feet,” Finn said when they’d recovered enough to set off towards the pub.

“It’s one of his better qualities,” she replied.

“I hate to say this, but I think I’m starting to like him. Maybe you oughta try not to fuck this one up.”

She rolled her eyes. “Maybe you oughta keep your opinions to yourself.”

He let out a low whistle. “Fuck me runnin’, it is serious.”

“As a heart attack,” she said, letting the sarcasm sharpen her words to protect the grain of truth inside.

Finn shook his head at her, but minded his tongue for the time being, apparently pleased to have harried his sister into admitting even part of the whole.

*****

“I don’t think I could eat another bite if you paid me,” Robert groaned, pushing his chair back from the wide table littered with empty plates. “Good call on the restaurant, Aaron.”

“I thought you’d like it,” Aaron replied.

Maggie babbled her agreement from her perch on her father’s lap while Rachel took the opportunity to finish the last of the eggs on her plate. She and Severus had been deep in a heady potion debate since the group had left the church, and Miranda had to admit that she was impressed by his performance so far.

“What’s next on the agenda?” Robert asked.

“We should take a walk down on the beach since it’s not too cold,” Aaron replied. “Rachel and Maggie were hoping to see some seals.”

“I’ll meet you down there,” Finn said, finishing his coffee. “After I’ve had a look in Mari Lwyd for that album Seamus wants.”

“I’ll come with you,” Miranda said.

“I would not be adverse to perusing the shop with your party,” Severus said.

“Then it’s settled,” Rachel said. “Robert, why don’t you come down with us, and the others can catch up later.”

Robert’s eyes were on the wad of Muggle currency that he was counting as he replied, “I think I’ll head over to the shop first. But you go on ahead. Then you’ll be ready to give us the grand tour when we get there.”

Miranda stifled a groan and Severus continued to appear blandly polite, as though he spent all his Sundays on excursions with people he supposedly barely knew. Rachel mouthed an “I’m sorry” behind Robert’s back when they rose from the table, and the group split in two with the Lees heading away from the little town towards the shore, and the rest of them winding up the narrow streets to the shop. Robert took the spot next to Miranda, leaving Finn to walk with Severus, and even though the Ambassador kept up a steady stream of conversation, she fancied she could sense Severus’s silent irritation emanating from his person. She was never going to hear the end of this.

The Mari Lwyd was a squat little building, and would have been lost in the crowd of similar gray stone companions, except that she boasted a bleached-white equine skull strapped to the end of a long stick above her door. It took Miranda a moment to realize that the bizarre thing was a hobby-horse (albeit a grotesque one). The inside was crammed with an odd collection of ghastly hobby-horses, clownish marionettes, No-Maj records, musical paraphernalia ranging from the practical to the sublime; as well as a staggering number of bookshelves that were packed to the gills with dusty books. Severus excused himself (and politely too!) and escaped into the maze of literature, and Robert let him go without a glance. For all the inanity of Robert’s questions (What baseball team do you follow? Ever been out to California?) Miranda had the distinct feeling that she was being cross-examined, although she was aware that she might simply be irritated with Robert for becoming an unintentional third (fourth?) wheel.

Finn zipped off to do business with the ancient shopkeep; but once he’d secured Seamus’s prize, he took pity on his sister by engaging Robert in a humorous debate on whether Quidditch or baseball were the superior sport (baseball, obviously). As the two men talked and explored the contents of the record bins near the front of the store, Miranda slipped away, ostensibly picking over the novels further inside. Near the back of the shop, she discovered an open door leading to a basement filled with more towers of books; and as she descended the stairs she found Severus reading a thick tome, apparently oblivious to the world around him.

Something told her that apologizing about the current situation would only further annoy him, and so she simply said, “You handled yourself splendidly this morning.”

He replied without glancing up, “Of course I did. What kind of spy did you think I was?”

She started exploring the stack of books next to his, careful to give him plenty of elbow room. “I think you know I’ve always thought highly of your abilities with regards to espionage.”

He seemed to grow several inches under the light of her praise.

“Whenever I take it into my mind to do something spontaneous, it never fails to end in disaster,” he observed with an ironic smirk.

“I hope you won’t let it stop you from trying.”

He brushed past her, and she felt his lips drop onto the back of her neck for an instant, causing a pleasant shiver to run down her spine.

“One would think that today’s lesson would be sufficient to prevent such foolish decisions in the future. Unfortunately I do not seem to retain such lessons consistently.”

“That does sound troublesome.”

“I assure you, it is.”

He did not linger, and she supposed it was for the best. If they’d gotten this far into the day without arousing Robert’s suspicion, maybe it wasn’t too much to hope that they would get out of this unscathed. She dawdled in the basement until she had a stack of curious novels almost too high to carry; and when she emerged from below to purchase them, the others were nowhere to be found. The shopkeep was quick about his work, and she was more annoyed than concerned to have been left behind. When she had her books packed away in a sturdy paper sack, she went out into the weak light of the afternoon.

“There you are,” she said, spotting the men loitering in a narrow lane next to the shop.

“Took you long enough,” Finn said, brandishing one of the deathly hobby horses. “Like it? I think I’ll give it to Susan for her birthday.”

“You would.” Miranda shrank her books with a quick wand flick, and stuffed the diminutive shopping bag into her hand bag before any uninitiated No-Majs could notice. “Are you ready to head down to the shore professor?”

Severus had taken a seat on a low stone wall, and was deep in the same book he’d been reading in the shop. But he nodded distractedly, “That would be agreeable.”

“I wonder if they’ve found any seals yet,” Robert commented as they started towards the main street.

A shining hummingbird darted into their midst, and Miranda had to blink before she realized it was Rachel’s patronus and not an overbold animal.

“There’s a giant down by the sea caves. We could use a hand.” Rachel’s voice said with the bird’s mouth.

Everyone started talking at once.

“A giant?” asked Robert.

“Of all the…” muttered Miranda

“Hoo boy!” whooped Finn.

“Did any of you get a good enough look at where they went to Apparate us to them?” Severus demanded.

“No,” Miranda admitted.

“I didn’t,” said Robert. “And there’s probably too many No-Majs around to take the risk.”

“Of course,” sneered Severus. “We wouldn’t want to disturb the Muggles with a bit of Apparition when there are giants wandering about their shores.”

“Pardon me, professor,” Robert said, his voice a tad too edgy to be truly polite. “I’ll leave the potioning to you, and you leave the international law to me.”

Miranda could see that Severus was about to completely lose his temper, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. She grabbed Finn’s arm, dragging him away from the argument.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” she asked, scanning the lonely lane for a likely prospect.

“I sure as fuck hope so,” Finn replied gleefully.

“That black one over by the hedgerow?”

“That’s the one.”

Finn set off towards the hedgerow as inconspicuously as a man with one arm and a skull-headed hobby-horse slung over his shoulder could possibly do, while Miranda inserted herself between the arguing wizards, cutting them off in mid riposte.

“Sorry to break up your fun, gentlemen, but I think we’ve found an answer to our problem,” she said.

“Action would certainly be preferable to continuing this inane altercation,” Severus replied.

“I’m all ears, Miss Rose. And I wouldn’t mind seeing you earn some of that money I’m paying you,” Robert said irritably.

She ignored the dig and took the ambassador by the arm, half leading and half dragging him up the lane while Severus followed alongside. “Finn’s gone ahead, and we’ll be on top of him in less than a minute. When we get there, you two keep watch and we’ll take care of the rest. But I need you both ready to jump when I say jump.”

“You seem to have mistaken me for someone beholden to you, Miss Rose,” Severus said icily.

She snorted impatiently. “Let me put it into small words for you. We’re borrowing a car, and your job is to keep any No-Majs from getting in the way.”

“Somehow I doubt this falls on the legal side of any Statute, International or otherwise.”

“The professor’s right. Do have any idea the amount of parchmentwork that kind of a stunt would generate?” Robert said, but there was an interested gleam in his golden eyes.

“Are you a Thunderbird, or aren’t you?” Miranda shot back. “And more importantly, do you have a better idea?”

“Unfortunately, no,” Robert admitted.

“Then best not to think too hard about it,” Miranda reasoned

“What an excellent philosophy,” Severus said. “Is that the Thunderbird motto?”

“I’m pretty sure,” Miranda replied. “Or whatever that is in Latin.”

They had caught up to Finn and his victim by then, and the wizards positioned themselves at either end of the vehicle to watch for wayward No-Majs. Finn was already in the front seat and had most of the steering wheel column exposed.

“Are you about done in there?” Miranda demanded, sliding into the seat behind him.

“Almost,” he said, shoving the hobby-horse into the back with her. “Here, hold this.”

“Thanks, just want I want to do—be shoved in the back seat of a stolen car with a horse skull.”

“Shh, you’ll hurt her feelings.”

“Her?”

“I named her Peggy Sue.”

“Ass.”

“And proud of it.”

Finn shoved a large safety-pin through two of the wires and the car sputtered to life. In the next instant he’d jammed his hybrid screwdriver/hammer into the ignition, and overpowered the lock on the steering wheel. Miranda rapped on the back window once, and Severus entered the back of the car with all the dignity he could muster, while Robert clambered into the front seat, his eyes shining like a child’s.

“Buckle up for safety, kids,” Finn crowed as he steered the car down the twisted lane towards the main street.

“Try not to hit anything this time, would you Finn?” Miranda said, attempting and failing to maneuver the hobby horse in some direction that wouldn’t cause either end of it to jam into Severus or herself.

“Give me that thing,” Severus snapped, jerking Peggy Sue out of Miranda’s hands. He muttered an incantation, and the thing shrank to the size of a lima bean.

“You’d better not lose that,” Finn warned.

“I’ve got it,” Miranda said. “I’m putting it in my bag right now. You just watch the road.”

“This really isn’t a bad way to travel,” Robert commented, once the four of them were vaguely settled, and the street had smoothed out before them.

The cobblestone gave way to asphalt at the edge of the town, and the hummingbird patronus sped along just in front of them. Finn hit the gas to take advantage of the wider road, looking exceptionally pleased with himself. Robert seemed torn between the thrill of the novelty of stealing a car, and apprehension at the trouble this was likely to cause him later. Miranda was bouncing in her seat while she craned her neck to watch for signs of either the Lees or the giant—and Severus was beginning to look quite green about the gills.

“Are you alright, professor?” she ventured.

“Indubitably,” was his strained reply.

It was about this time that the sirens started.

“Shit, I knew this was a bad idea,” Robert said, glancing over his shoulder at the traffic car behind them.

“Mira, you wanna take care of that?” Finn said, unconcerned.

“On it,” she said, turning around in her seat to squint out the back window.

“What in Merlin’s name are you doing?” Severus demanded, looking quite ready to be ill.

“Don’t distract me,” she said. “Or better yet, give me a hand. I’m going to take out the tires, and you see if you can catch their car so they don’t flip.”

“This is the worst plan I’ve ever heard.”

“Worse than stealing the car in the first place?” Robert asked.

“On three,” Miranda said, her wand in hand.

“If you count to three one more time, I’ll not be held responsible for my actions,” Severus muttered under his breath, but he took out his wand and turned towards the back of the car.

“Three!”

She squinted and slashed her wand, and the first tire blew. Severus swore loudly and drew his wand through the air, while she took out the second tire. The traffic car swerved wildly as Miranda destroyed the final two tires, but it came to a halt in the ditch next to the road without crashing into anything, or flipping over. The policemen fired a few shots after them, but Finn quickly outstripped them. Severus gingerly faced forward, looking more green than ever.

“Motion sickness?” Miranda asked.

“Don’t talk about it,” he snapped.

“I see them!” Robert cried.

They crested a hill and beheld both the ocean and the giant in all their gruesome splendor. The foamy waves crashed against the rocky shore, and the giant was crushing the stones in its path into powder as he tromped over the landscape that rumbled with every thunderous stomp. Finn skidded across the road and onto the sandy turf, sending sprays of dust behind them as they squealed along the beach.

“I shall never accept another invitation for the rest of my life, so help me God,” Severus said through gritted teeth.

“Good to know a little churchin’ this mornin’ did you good,” Finn quipped.

“Finn, leave the professor alone,” Miranda warned. “For all we know he’s as pious as a monk.”

“Beggin’ your pardon professor. Can’t take me anywhere,” Finn replied.

“We’re going to have a bear of a time covering this one up,” Robert interrupted, gesturing to a group of bystanders huddling next to a tiny stone church on the shore. “Look at all the gawkers.”

“We’ll deal with that later,” Miranda said. “First we have to stop him. Wait, is that Aaron up ahead?”

A black bloodhound shot out from behind a dune, barking madly at their tires.

“Looks like it to me. Hit the breaks, Finn,” Robert ordered.

“Don’t know who made you boss,” Finn muttered as he pulled the car to a skidding halt.

The hound bounded towards them, shifting painfully into Aaron’s stricken form in mid leap. The instant the car stopped rolling, Severus bolted out of the back seat, his legs folding beneath him as they hit the unmoving sand.

“The giant’s got Rachel and Maggie,” Aaron panted, bracing himself on Robert’s door. “Scooped ‘em both up and stuffed ‘em in his pocket.”

“Get in,” Robert said. “We’ll catch them, don’t worry. Come on professor.”

“No,” Severus said firmly. “I would not get back in that demonic machine if my life depended on it.”

“Your life doesn’t,” Aaron fairly shouted. “Theirs do.”

Severus dusted the sand off his trousers and stood up to his full height. “Some of us have other means of pursuit available to us. I leave you to yours.”

Without another word, the Englishman muttered an incantation unlike any Miranda had ever heard. As he spoke the strange words, a black cloud enveloped his extremities, engulfing him until the bulk of his body was a semi-solid mass. He gave them an ironic bow and sped up into the ether, cutting through the sky after the giant like a malevolent cloud.

“Those teachers over here are hard core,” Robert said wryly.

“Not bad,” said Finn as Aaron scrambled into Severus’s vacated seat. “Not bad at all.”

“Let’s not get too far behind,” Miranda said; and she couldn’t stop the swell of pride in her heart. Severus really was quite something, and while she might have wished for a quieter Sunday, she wasn’t sorry to show him off to her brother.

Their speed was hampered by the rough terrain and the fact that the old sedan was not made for off-road adventuring. Severus caught up to the giant while they were still maneuvering over the sand dunes, and Miranda held her breath as they watched the giant swat at the black cloud descending on him with his club-like arms. Severus was as nimble in the air as he was on earth (and perhaps more so) and he avoided the clumsy blows as he landed somewhere on the giant’s ragged shirtfront. The creature paused in his raging, and for a moment it seemed that they might finally catch up to him; but then he was off again, and disappearing into the mouth of a cave that skirted the edge of the sea.

“It’s a perfect day for a little spelunking, do you think?” Miranda asked grimly.

To her surprise, it was her own brother who twisted the knife.

“Sure does. Too bad you’re not going,” Finn said as he drew the car to a halt on the rocky shore.

“Finn!” Miranda protested

“Miranda, don’t you Finn me, or I’ll get that boyfriend of yours to put you in time out,” Finn shot back.

“He’s right,” Aaron said firmly. “You’re only cleared for light duty. Giants are heavy lifting.”

“Besides,” said Robert, “we need someone here to deal with the No-Majs if they catch up.”

Much as she bristled at being left behind, she knew she was outnumbered and that arguing would only waste more precious time. “Fine. Just get going.”

Aaron gave her shoulder a quick squeeze, and then bounded out of the car, shifting to his animagus form as he did. Robert was hard on the bloodhound’s heels, and soon both of them had disappeared into the cave after the others. An eerie silence descended on the beach, punctuated by the constant crashing of the waves as the minutes ticked by. Miranda got out of the car and started pacing, wand drawn, but waiting at her side. Finn left the car idling, but got out to pace alongside her. After a moment of this, he pulled out a cigarette for the two of them, and she lit them with two shaky finger snaps.

“What do you wanna do when we’re done here?” he asked conversationally.

“I don’t know,” she replied tensely. “Go dancing I guess. Prospero’s is a good time even on a Sunday night.”

“That’d do. Or we could drag your boyfriend back to the cabin and try out the new televideo you got for Christmas. I think some pizza and a little Die Hard sound like the only chaser worthy to wash this day down with.”

She snorted. “If we want decent pizza we’ll either have to go to the Embassy or make it ourselves.”

“Well, I haven’t given you a Christmas present yet, have I?”

“You’re a prince among men, Finn.”

A pair of loud cracks startled the siblings. They whirled away from the caves to face the new attack; Miranda brandishing her wand, and Finn a pistol that he’d somehow managed to slip past MACUSA security. The men that at had appeared at their backs were both grizzled, but it was the more haggard of the two that Miranda recognized first.

“Auror Moody,” she said, lowering her wand slowly and nodding to her brother to do the same. “Nice to see you. Out for a Sunday stroll on the beach?”

“The alarms at the Ministry’ve been blaring for half an hour, Miss Rose,” Alastor replied. “Interesting that we find you here in the thick of it.”

“You know each other?” demanded the other man.

“We’ve met. This here’s Miranda Rose,” Alastor said. “Don’t know who the other bloke is.”

“He’s my brother,” Miranda said as her mind scrambled to place this man’s vaguely familiar face. “And you must be Minister Scrimgeour.”

“A quick thinker. But, then Alastor told me as much about you earlier.” Rufus’s sharp eyes darted to Finn, who was holding the pistol lowered at his side. “MACUSA seems to have an interesting interpretation of our firearm laws.”

“It’s been an eventful day,” Miranda deflected.

“So I gather. Be so good as to explain what’s happened.”

She bristled as she always did when given an order, but attempted to keep her temper under control. "The short version is there’s a giant on the loose. There’s several people back on the beach who saw it, along with a pair of policemen maybe a mile back who saw us…borrow this car. Oh, and someone probably ought to return it.”

“Interesting. It sounds as though you’re attempting to tell me my business.”

“I was merely suggesting a course of action. We’ve got the giant under control here.”

“Who is we?”

A series of pops like a Fourth of July firecracker saved her the trouble of explaining, as Robert, Aaron, Severus, Rachel, and Maggie all appeared on the beach, apparently unharmed.

“Miss Rose, the hobby horse, if you please,” demanded Severus without preamble.

“The what? Oh, right,” Miranda said, and began digging in her handbag for Peggy Sue.

“What do you want with my hobby horse?” asked Finn.

Severus ignored the question, taking the toy and returning it to full size with wave of his wand.

“What…” began Rufus.

“You Yanks sure have some interesting taste in souvenirs,” said Alastor.

“Will it do?” Severus asked Rachel.

“It’s perfect,” she replied.

Severus gave a short nod, and promptly decapitated the unfortunate horse.

“Peggy!” cried Finn, but Miranda dug her elbow into his side and he gave no further protest.

The ground beneath their feet began to tremble again, and Severus handed Miranda the leftover stick while Rachel gave Maggie to Aaron. The baby was waving her arms and babbling excitedly, and all of them turned to see the fearsome giant emerge from the cave—with a similarly proportioned headless dog at his heels. Working in tandem, Severus and Rachel charmed Peggy’s head to a size suitable to the beastly canine, and attached it to the scarred skin of the creature’s neck. The dog leapt and gave a raspy bark; and the ground shook as it landed on its massive paws. The giant scratched the beast just behind its new head, and uttered a string of guttural sounds. Rachel replied with a wave and a few scratchy words of her own, and both giant and dog trotted off towards the northeast and home.

“Robert Walker, you’d better have an explanation for all this,” blustered Rufus.

“And I do, Rufus,” Robert replied with an easy grin. “Why don’t I give you and Auror Moody a hand tying up the loose ends, and then I’ll tell you all about it over dinner. My treat.”

Rufus did not look at all pleased with this arrangement, but as the sound of No-Maj sirens were clearly discernible in the distance—and getting closer—he capitulated ungraciously.

“Fine. Let’s go,” he snapped, and disappeared with an angry pop.

Alastor followed suit, and Robert paused long enough to shake hands with the party.

“Professor, it was a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to having a chat with you in the near future. Really fine work today. Rachel, Aaron, thanks again for inviting me. Miranda, I knew I wasn’t wrong about you. Finn, don’t worry about the pistol or the car, I’ll get it taken care of for you. Maggie, you were perfect,” he said without pausing for either breath or acknowledgement; and disappeared.

“Severus, I’m…” Aaron began sheepishly.

“Keep your apologies and your thanks, Aaron,” Severus interrupted. “Only, be sure to inform the Ambassador that I have no interest in speaking to him, ever.”

“Will do.”

“I’m sorry about your hobby-horse, Finn,” Rachel said. “But it went to a good cause. That dog has been lost here in Wales for centuries without a head. By reuniting her with her owner and doing our best to heal her, we may have helped sway human-giant relations somewhat in our favor. The work’s not over by any means, but it’s a good start.”

“It’s alright,” Finn said. “If I had to loose Peggy, at least I got to witness her apotheosis in the process.”

“I’m not going to thank you in words,” Rachel said, turning to Severus, “but I’ll have the next translation in your hands by the end of the week.”

The corner of Severus’s lip twitched briefly into a smile at this. “That would be most agreeable.”

There was a blur of handshaking, hugs, and fair-wells as the Lees prepared to depart. Miranda was half expecting Severus to take the opportunity to escape as well, and much as that would have disappointed her, she wouldn’t have been able to blame him either. But when her friends had all disappeared home, she was pleasantly surprised to see Severus still standing on the beach, and looking no more irritated than he usually did.

“Come on, kids, what do you say we head back to the ranch and I’ll get some pizza made while you two neck on the couch,” offered Finn.

“Finn! We’re not going to neck in front of you,” Miranda protested, her cheeks turning pink.

“Why not? He’s one of us now, ain’t he?”

Miranda’s eyes darted to Severus’s, and she felt her face flush hotter as she tried to divine what on earth was happening behind that enigmatic mask.

“Well, Miranda; am I?” asked Severus in a perfectly neutral tone.

Her face relaxed into a little smile as she replied, “You are if you want to be.”

He bent his head to brush his lips against her cheek, and though they were cool where they touched her skin, they sent a spark of heat running from the point of contact all the way to the depths of her heart.

“Then I suggest we depart before I think better of it,” he said, but he couldn’t quite keep his pleased expression hidden from view.

Finn made good on his promise, and later that evening they ate the best homemade pizza that any Englishman ever tasted. And while Miranda did not neck with Severus on the sofa while her brother labored over dinner; when the three of them were settled there, watching the action film in all its glory, there was a moment amidst the explosions, car crashes, and destruction that Severus took her hand and laced their fingers together—and didn’t let go.

It was a little thing, but it was enough.

******

End Notes:

Many many thanks to Jane/Bunbury for supporting me through writing this chapter! You’re the best, dude.

Mari Lwyd is a Welsh wassailing custom. The wassailers ride a hobby-horse with a horse’s skull for a head as they go caroling about the neighborhood.

The giant headless dog looking for its master is from Welsh folklore.

*****

libera nos a malo masterpost+

unstoppable force/immovable object+

<< Chapter Four+

Chapter Six+ >>

[hiroisekai]

27.03.2020

Hello there, tumblr.

It’s been an awfully long time since I was last this troubled with liking someone, but guess what? Here we go again.

But not really.

I mean. He’s fucking perfect in every way I could try to describe. He’s really good looking, a goofy nerd, with a grin so wide I could never convey in words. He’s a dorky and whenever he looks at me or smiles at me or talk to me I can’t help but turn into a mess. He’s the most intelligent man I ever had the pleasure to be friends with or work with. He knows everything about everything, is capable of learning anything, and is so earnest for more that I can’t help but feel hyped up. He makes me want to learn new things and try to be as good as him. He’s funny as fuck too. He makes me laugh and his humor is so similar to mine he’s doesn’t even need to try. The sex is amazing too, feels like I’m in those cringe fanfics I used to read and write when I was a kid, except it’s real and he does all the right things with his mouth, with his tongue, with his hands. I love when the tickles me on purpose and makes me lose my shit laughing mid sex. He laughs with me until he does magic again and I forget I ever felt ticklish in my life. I love how he likes to throw me from one position to another, making a show of it, and how he holds my throat when he fucks me from behind while harsh breathing into my ear.

What I love the most is the memory of when we first slept together. It was funny how intimate it was, with him telling me stuff in a quiet voice trying to sooth me to sleep, knowing his talking always does. You told me stories you’ve read and I fell asleep, just to wake up again in your arms and have you ask me, “want me to tell you another one?”. “Yes”, I said. “This one is called the egg”. I laugh at you. I think it’s gonna be some mad shit, but then to start in a quiet voice, “a old man died. He left wife, kids.” You tell me about this man’s encounter with a god of some kind. How he could know all the things and how he was everyone. How every time he came back as someone else, he would understand more and more and would some day turn into a god too. You told me all of this in a whisper, late at night or early in the morning I can’t remember. I was, for the first time, not sleepy at your talking. I turn around and look at you, almost can see the words leaving your mouth. Almost can see the old man talking to god as you whisper their words. I feel you are more talking to yourself than you are talking to me now. Then you finish. We stay silent. “Did you like it?”, you ask. I know you don’t need any validation for anything at all, but somehow at that moment I feel like you are uneasy. “I love it,” I whisper back. I turn around again and face your wardrobe. You are pressed close to me, a big spoon. “How sleepy are you right now?”, you demand. “Not at all sleepy,” I tell you. You kiss me. And that’s how we have sex (I first wrote “make love”, but it doesn’t seems or feel right) again for the night.

I have no idea what happened after that. We had sex again during the night. Slept. Had sex again when we woke up. I left. We had a date of some sort later in the week. We agreed on watching a movie at your house in another day. We watched it. Had sex again. Stayed up till late watching stupid music videos and playing a terrible game you bought. Went out again the next day. Everything crumbled.

I can’t help but think that it’s not possible for him not to have felt anything. He did. But he’s afraid of it because he doesn’t want it (clearly doesn’t), and so he kicked me out of his life just as easily he had put me in there.

I felt lost, I feel lost, but for him is nothing but another girl. I’m trying not to dwell on it, not to let it make me feel insecure or bad about myself. I’m trying not to let it ruin you for me. And I confess it doesn’t take much - I still love talking to you and I still think you are the most inspirational person I ever worked with. Even talking to you on google hangouts during quarentine is enough to set my heart racing, but I know you will never feel the same way.

I wish I could erase the memory of how you felt against me, telling me about the egg.

[mamabearcat]

NaLu Fic Recs - SFW

Sooo, there was a bit of chat on the NaLu Discord about fic recs. I have read a lot of fan fiction; for a while there I had terrible insomnia, and I would go to bed, read fics all night, and then get up and start my day. 

But now you get the benefits! Here are just some of my favourite SFW fanfics. All these are completed fics on Fanfiction.net I have heaps of favourites that aren’t completed, and may never be, which is a little heartbreaking, but just the nature of the beast I guess. 

But, I digress - behold, a list of SFW fanfics for your viewing pleasure...and remember, if you read, give the writer some review love.

One Shots

Just Fine by Sofiesticated:  After being tortured for months, Lucy has begun to isolate herself, trying to assure people (mostly herself) that she's fine, but a certain Dragon Slayer doesn't give up on her so easy. Rated: Fiction M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - [Lucy H., Natsu D.] - Words: 1,986

Play List by GeminiMab:  Every one loves new tech toys right? Well Lucy does! Unfortunately so does her team. Lots of friendly feels and a few sweet moments. Just a fun story that's worth a read for a laugh- Rated for cursing *I do not own FT or any of the other copyrighted material found within. I only own my plot line and insanity* ****Mostly placed Post Manga but could go anywhere after Tartarus**** Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Friendship - Team Natsu - Words: 6,328

Gift of the Sea by notjustanyfangirl:  Natsu is intrigued by the sad blonde girl that comes to the pier every evening, and decides to do something about it. An unexpected friendship leads to unexpected revelations. Mermaid!AU Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Friendship - [Lucy H., Natsu D.] - Words: 6,458

Are You Still Watching by HerFairy:  Lucy needs a break from her overbearing father. What better way than watching Netflix over someone's shoulder at the library?Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Romance - [Lucy H., Natsu D.] - Words: 2,290

Love Me Now by Chikachoo:  Lucy had been through many bad experiences but this time almost broke her. She had never wished for the presence of a certain dragon slayer, with hair the colour of cherry blossoms, more than now. Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - [Lucy H., Natsu D.] - Words: 5,439

Cops and Robbers by Rivendel101:  Lucy wakes up to the sound of running water, a blinding light, and a crick in her neck that tells her she had a really rough night. Though, she probably could have deduced that without the pain, considering she's pretty sure she fell asleep in a bathtub last night, according to her slightly hazy memory. (Rated for language and inappropriate thoughts by Lucy) Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - [Natsu D., Lucy H.] - Words: 3,120

One Other Thing by xxSiLvErDrAgOnxx:  After Chapter 489 - Natsu and Lucy are sent home after their battle with August for some R&R because of an injury Lucy sustained, while the Guild plans its next move. Lucy's stubbornness brings out Natsu's frustration which only serves to irritate Lucy when she misunderstands the intention behind his words. Rated: Fiction T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Lucy H., Natsu D. - Words: 4,908

Together by SolidScriptJess:  "So don't you ever for a second think that I would wish to trade you. You're the light of my life you aggravating, irritating, loud, weird, caring, selfless, strong, beautiful girl. I love you so much." NaLu one-shot in which they've just moved in together and Lucy is trying to come to terms with the fact that Natsu had been engaged to Lisanna before he met her.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Angst - [Lucy H., Natsu D.] Lisanna S. - Words: 2,814

Eye of the Beholder by madartiste:  Natsu realizes something about Lucy after seeing her in her old habitat. Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance - [Natsu D., Lucy H.] Erza S., Gray F. - Words: 2,915

Plan H by Toxineena:  So far, Erza and Gray were on plan H; H for hot spring. Needless to say, Natsu and Lucy hadn't been very cooperative. Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Natsu D., Lucy H. - Words: 4,834

Plan I by Toxineena: It was like his heart was just saying: Her. It has to be her, and no one else. Sequel to Plan H. Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Natsu D., Lucy H. - Words: 6,911

Thoughts from the Bathroom Sink by Tonoxic:  It felt kind of weird looking at her work from between his legs. Funny thing is he didn't even come here for this. In fact, he didn't even know she could do this. He was going to wait till morning for that but as soon as he had stepped into town, his mind instantly thought "I wonder what Lucy is doing?"  Rated T for angry Lucy's swearing.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance - Lucy H., Natsu D. - Words: 2,433

Snow White and the Fairy Tail Mages by InLoveWithFairyTail:  The Fairy Tail gang decides to act out the classic story of Snow White! And it went well! Hahaha, no. No, it didn't. If it did, what would be the point of this story? "Our bedroom door's open!" "Wait one f***ing minute, we sleep in the same BEDROOM?" Rated T for swearing. One-shot.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Team Natsu, Laxus D., Mirajane S. - Words: 4,276

Sausages – A Breakfast Story by Aryndiel:  Lucy needs some cheering up, and Natsu is just the man for the job. But the advice he's getting seems a bit strange. Will breakfast really help? More importantly, is Gray's face going to freeze that way? Why did Bixlow just spit his beer? What's wrong with Romeo? And will Gajeel ever find the answer to the question everyone's wondering about?Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - [Lucy H., Natsu D.] - Words: 3,915

 Chapter Fics

Winter’s Blight by McSquidster:  Natsu had trusted Gray with Lucy's life, and the raven haired boy would be damned if he let their captors do anything to her. Nuclear Winter AU. Warnings: Mentions of rape and cannibalism.Rated: Fiction T - English - Suspense/Hurt/Comfort - [Lucy H., Natsu D.] Gray F., Jackal - Chapters: 5 - Words: 43,430  

Cops and Writers by jrhcomet:  Lucy Heartfilia, accomplished author, is in for the ride of her life when she teams up with Detective Natsu Dragneel to solve cases around Magnolia. (Castle with Fairy Tail) Please review, this is my first fanfic and tips are always welcome! I do not own Fairy Tail! Only this plot is mine. Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Lucy H., Natsu D. - Chapters: 23 - Words: 31,509

Life in Technicolour by stopnatsu:  Lucy Heartfilia has grown accustomed to seeing life in black and white, but she dreams of a more colorful world. Desperate to find where she belongs, she leaves her life behind, intent on fulfilling her childhood dream of seeing a rainbow. Will she ever be able to see the beautiful colors of legend? And is it true you can only see them once you meet your soulmate? Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Romance - Lucy H., Natsu D. - Chapters: 29 - Words: 92,011

Virtual Flames by MizzyPlatinum:  A blossoming internet (Tumblr) friendship soon develops into something more. Nalu. AU. Slice of life. Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - [Natsu D., Lucy H.] - Chapters: 89 - Words: 241,288

Begin Again by waiting-for-you443:  When journalist Lucy Heartfilia is welcomed home from work by her boyfriend's fists, she does what most would do: calls the police. But when your psycho ex-boyfriend is a cop, things get complicated. It'll take a pair of rookie detectives, a journalist, and the entire Magnolia Police Department to ensure Lucy's safety. Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Suspense - [Lucy H., Natsu D.] Gajeel R., Team Natsu - Chapters: 11 - Words: 51,737

Big Sister Lucy by Kayla the kawaii gurl:  All she wanted to do was help young girls follow their dreams and find themselves. She never thought that she would be gaining a little sister and much, much more. AU NaLu! Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance - Lucy H., Natsu D. - Chapters: 25 - Words: 82,041

What Bloomed in the Heart of Winter by starmini:  A chance encounter with the Maiden of Spring sets off a chain of events that threaten the order of the seasons and the fate of the world. The Lord of Winter is willing to plunge the world into chaos for the sake of his desire. Yet, the Lord of Summer and the Maiden of Autumn will fight to stop him. Rated: Fiction K - English - Romance/Drama - Erza S., Gray F., Lucy H., Natsu D. - Chapters: 11 - Words: 28,685

One of the Boys by stopnatsu:  "I love you, Natsu," Lucy had whispered. Natsu smiled and replied, "I love you too, Luce. Like a brother." Nalu AU in which Lucy and Natsu are childhood best friends. Oh, and she's desperately in love with him, but he's too dumb to notice. After leaving to attend an all-girls' prep school, she returns, a changed woman. But will he even notice? Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Drama - [Lucy H., Natsu D.] - Chapters: 18 - Words: 54,533

Warm Feelings by Checkmate-13: Fairy Tail is forced into a team building activity that revolves around anonymous compliments. The consequences of these messages may have a bigger impact than they bargained for. NaLu. Gruvia.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - [Lucy H., Natsu D.] [Gray F., Juvia L.] - Chapters: 12 - Words: 37,794

Salamander and the Deadly Flu by Hejmdal:  Because given the right circumstances even the hyperactive dragon slayer can become an innocent victim to the "dangerous" disease. Rated for minor swearing (NaLu). Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - [Natsu D., Lucy H.] - Chapters: 25 - Words: 84,054

Possession by HawkofNavarre:  She didn't belong to him...yet. Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Friendship - [Lucy H., Natsu D.] - Chapters: 20 - Words: 85,998