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tbh those twitter people who immediately reacted to ooo bl news with "omg this could be bad!" probably watched junjou romantica when they were like 12 and assume that's what all bl is like even in this year 2022
#reblogs OFF for this one girls!#anyway like its definitely not problem free and theyre will always be not good ones#but the same can be said for any genre#and ik the argument of 'well other genres dont reflect on queer people' but also i think#ooo appearing in one shite bl isnt gonna make people homophobic or anything#the only thing Im concerned about personally is like. weirdo fans. but i think they will exist regardless#i will just block and get on with my life :/#anyway my opinion on this is like what. weeks late#just something i had inside me#now been set free
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Overwhelming. Possessive. Intense. Extreme. Intolerant. Anxious. Controlling.
#all things ive been called before#and yet you love me#since no one can be normal I turned off reblogs#irl yan#irl yandere#obsessive love#obsessive yandere#yan#yan blog#yan irl#yanblr#yancore#yande.re#yandere#yandere irl#yandere tendencies#bpd yandere#soft yandere#yandere gf#yandere girl#yandere girlfriend#yanderecore#yandere blog#yandere bpd
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you have to understand they made a version of classic yugioh monsters but made them bubble era divas
#these are the mosnters of that girl i just rebloged. the 37 year old single mother who looks 10#every time i talk about mimi i knowww peoples red flags go off but i genuienly think shes one fo the best characters in sevens
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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sorry to beat a dead horse but aye i truly do not get what people are on about when they act like it's sexist to question the motives or do a more sympathetic reading of female antagonists (so, really just curlfeather and mapleshade) instead of "just letting them be pure evil like the male characters are".
like "we have shallow flat evil male characters who are evil for the sake of being evil, but not the equivalent for female characters, so surely we need to balance it out" well, uh. we don't have compelling, consistent, sympathetic female antagonists either! we are lacking in the morally grey female characters department too! what is being robbed!! and have you seen how the fandom used to talk about thistleclaw? people are going to be looking into sympathetic reasoning behind the male characters anyways! hell, canon does it sometimes! and this is completely ignoring the context of every sexist writing decision that exists in canon that is inevitably going into the writing of these characters and the people around them. you can't fix warrior cats fandom sexism by embracing the books at face value or hell, even stripping away even MORE nuance from them somehow, because the books themselves are also sexist LMFAO
yes, warrior cats needs more female villains. i don't think it's sexist that we don't need to read every vaguely antagonistic woman as cackling irredeemable monsters who drink kitten blood and were simply born into this world to kill people though, i think that take is honestly baffling.
(also, a lot of discussions about wc character morality in general tend to forget that fictional characters are not real people they are making callout posts about and are instead the authors trying to say or do something within a story they're telling. someone suggesting that curlfeather loved her daughter or that mapleshade is a victim of the warrior code is not enabling them to do more bad things to other people it is engaging with the story being told)
#spitballing off of a widok skinwretch post i just saw and also the recent mapleshade twitter discourse rehash#not putting reblogs on bc im not happy with my phrasing of this post so i dont want it going around as is#i hate being misconstrued or not addressing every nuance it's why every post i make on twitter turns into a thread#here i can just make super underbaked posts and delete em later if i want. it's fine#also i PROMISE im no shadowboxing strawmen here LOL im just exaggerating quite a lot#in regards to 'why do people defend curlfeather or mapleshade' takes mostly#curlfeather is basically girl mudclaw (VERY VAGUELY) in terms of actions but the discourse is entirely different#also the dark forest is horrifying and does not work in any constructive way. i dont think anybody should be going there#and entirely unrelated besides one single mention but callout posts are bad 99.9% of the time. ok bye
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not for anything but friendly reminder that ~fandom discourse~ about where women belong (or people you perceive as women) is misogynistic as fuck. or what they're allowed to say, or what they're allowed to write about, or what they're allowed to enjoy.
next time you see someone having a tantrum and vaguing, especially if their posts from week to week completely contradict each other, perhaps analyze if the common denominator is "a gross woman said something and now i'm mad" without otherwise adhering to any actual principles.
#like i wonder if someone consistently preaches that we need to respect each other's headcanons#but they are specifically bothered by women & people they assume are women#and they keep specifically complaining about how ANNOYING GIRLS are the ones with such STUPID ideas#if maybe that person is just a fucking misogynist LMAO#and maybe we shouldn't give them the time of day :)#but what do i know lol im just a dumb girl with my dumb girl brain#anyway sorry guys i hate posting vagues i think it's really immature but like how much of this do we fucking tolerate#and can you please stop reblogging him bc tumblr's block & mute functions are terrible#if i'm not vague about it does it still count as a vague?#i hate public drama but like he didn't want to resolve it in private either and won't shut the fuck up haha sorry#but i also fucking hate bullies so#:)#also in b4 fandom clique conspiracies start floating around#if you act like a misogynist dickhead and get blocked by a bunch of people#it's not a cabal of mean girls ganging up on you#maybe you're the problem lol#knock it the fuck off aren't you tired of this it's been a year man#get a life.
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looking through my drafts to find something and there. is. so. much. one direction. like i get it i was obsessed with them but why was i reblogging gifsets to my drafts as if i was some sort of crow and the gifsets were my shiny trinkets LMAOOOO
#(actually as i was typing i remembered i did that bc i didn’t know/understand queue and i didn’t want to flood? i think?)#(i meant to reblog them later and just never did i think)#(anyway still funny i literally just deleted 500 posts off my drafts and it was all one direction gifsets. like GIRL)
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#will graham#incorrect quotes#hannibal nbc#hannibal#unethical psychiatrist#girl you are going to#JAIL#fake tweets#based off of that one tweet from 2020#I’ll post it in the reblogs#nbc hannibal#hannibal lecter#hannibal memes
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Kinda weird but this is still like one of my fave things I've ever drawn lol, it's just a background study from Shawn James' cover of Arkansas by Damien Jurado (there was a character here too once iykyk lol) but I was Going Through It at the time and painting this was soooo cathartic
#it was the first time that i didnt hate drawing a background lol#and also the song is like a melancholic reflection on a relationship that fell apart#and ill always remember a comment someone made when they reblogged this saying it captured the feeling of the dog days being over#and i was like DAMN wait thats exactly what this is#i had just graduated college and was working overtime and living back with my parents and not doing well with it#and was going through the thought process of like#wait. is this all there is? i just work for the next 40 something years?#the realization that i had taken summer days like the one i painted here for granted nauseated me#and i didnt really recognize it until someone commented that and i was like girl oh naur#for the record working is not all there is#for example: i just got laid off LOL#but real real like there is so much whimsy and joy and freedom in adult life you just gotta make sure you give yourself the time for it#i didnt until like. 2 years ago lol#anyway. normal tags now#painting#study#digital#uhhhhhhh#digital plein air#maybe#its not a secret to anybody who knows what i used to draw that S**** V****** was originally the focal point of this image lol#but i kinda never liked how he turned out and always thought the background looked way better than the character for once#those background leaves could be way better looking if i spent more time on them but i was so thrilled with how the rocks looked#that i was just like alright pack it up boys
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Deeply tired (but unsurprised) sigh
#Well shit#I was breaking down about it this morning but now I just feel… empty#Like I guess the back-to-back experience with losing another friend who believed violence against (((Zionists))) weren’t hate crimes-#last night just. Poured me out emotionally#Oh yeah I was literally talking about how I’d lost 4 friends to the leftist antisemitism rabbit hole (after I explained the most recent one#And she kept asking for “context” to make sure they were “really antisemitic” instead of “not wanting Palestinians to die”#LIK GIRL THEY’RE SUPPORTING TERRORISTS AND USING PALESTINIAN VICTIMS OF HATE CRIMES AS A GOTCHA TO TELL JEWS TO SHUT UP#HOW MUCH MORE DO I NEED TO TURN MY POCKETS OUT?!?!#She kept saying she just wanted to “understand the context” so that she could judge if the antisemitism I saw first hand was real#And she kept bringing up “gEnOcIdE” as a rebuttal to me saying that there were people using Palestine as an excuse to be antisemitic#I’m so fucking done.#I told her off for making my personal trauma about I/P and told her that I couldn’t have a romance with#someone who doesn’t trust Jews to define their own oppression#Leftist Antisemitism#Personal#Okay to reblog#Vent#Prospective Convert#Jewish Convert#Jumblr#My Post
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was just making my morning cup of tea when my brain inexplicably dished up a long forgotten memory of what must be the most poorly thought out and cartoonishly offensive reality show ever produced (yes, even worse than milf island manor or whatever it’s called) and i had to google it to make sure it was actually real because frankly it seems like it should only be a wildly problematic fever dream.
but no, it was real.
it was called black. white. and it followed two real american families™ supposedly "swapping races" using hyper-realistic "makeup effects" and then going off to interact with society looking like rdj in tropic thunder and the wayans brothers in white chicks in order to "understand" racism and privilege (i mean presumably that was the point but yikes)
and this was not a show made in the 80's when you might expect some coked up executive to have thought it was a good idea, either. it was in fact made in 2006. and wikipedia is telling me that ice cube was one of the producers??
genuinely what were they thinking with this mess??????
#i don't even know how to tag this post honestly#the show was clearly trying to start some kind of dialogue *about* racism and privilege#but it somehow found the most racist way possible to do that#like the one episode i saw part of had the white teenage girl#in full blackface#like i cannot stress enough that she was in full blackface#going to a (predominantly black) slam poetry event#where she wanted to come clean about her true identity because she felt gross about lying#which really makes me wonder how much of a say she (or the teenage son of the black family) actually had in taking part#anyway i'll tag#racism#no idea what else to file this under 😬😬😬#also turning off reblogs because i’m sure it would take like a day for them to get out of hand#this post is really just me doing my best rod serling ‘’isn’t that fucked up?’’ impression
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*rotating in my head how magical girls have a similar issue to mecha in which majority of west speaking anime fans brush off the genre for stereotyping it into one thing besides the popular shows but magical girls have had it significantly worse because madoka actually effected the genre into becoming unnecessarily darker for a period and it’s also a reflection of how media aimed at women has more negative biased to it then media aimed at men*
Wow this is so fucked up and objectively more worse then mecha just getting brushed off for being “robot fights”.
*proceeds to continue not have a strong interest in magical girls even after this realization*
#meg text#this is a more weirder format rant bc I just ranted about something mm related yesterday#and I feel bad when my blog just random rants back to back when I forget to reblog things#but yeah I hope this didn’t come off as bad cause I don’t hate magical girls but I’m not- super interested?#it’s like I need to go back to rayearth I did like what I watched and I’ve seen a fair share of precure eps#but it does not hook me despite the fact I know the price I pay of being into male centric media is mostly mediocre female rep#(and anime it’s when given well- fanservice)#I feel legitimately bad about it but I can’t tell if it just doesn’t click with me or if it’s something internalized#as my relationship with womanhood as a trans non binary man is complicated but I won’t get into that#(And it doesn’t help when people continue to mistake me for a girl…)#tldr I don’t hate women-obviously-or women centric media and women deserve better but I just don’t feel attached to it#I do hope I can fix this one day though since it kinda bothers me with how self aware I am
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#omg kiera no one cares#my parents starved themselves to get me american girl dolls i do not ski for a few reasons#reblogs off also because it's weird when I'm reblogged just talking#IN A FUN WAY BUT STILL WEIRD
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Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——
#Taylor believing a man who is obviously lying to her#like. it’s fascinating to me how they’ll say anything to her and she’ll be like ‘okay let’s go’#she’s never read Jane Austen and it shows. but that’s okay because she’s the character in an Austen novel#she has no sense of self-preservation she has no common sense when it comes to love#and the reason I have endless patience for that is because she IS different. she is extraordinary. she is WEIRD. she’s so needy#so angry so fragile so stupid so brilliant so completely helpless#like the bolter———I can’t even LOOK at it right now#because you know she was like this since she was 5 and SHE knows it#just so. Different. so strange. I mean she ruled her family with an iron fist from the age of 11#and her packaging is so basic and she she had so much access to everything anyone could want#so there are none of the usual marks of someone being so Different#but like. people HATED her from day one. you know her own strength of personality was drawing out many people’s hatred or envy#and she’s so helpless in her own personality because she can never change#like thank you aimee? or whatever? heck yeah there was some girl who bullied her and brutalized her on the playground#and you know it devastated Taylor from day one and still does#and it’s just. I don’t know how people can’t see that someone with that extraordinary set of gifts#wouldn’t also suffer in such an extraordinary way#and ways that elicit so much scorn and non-sympathy because people are unsettled and jealous and annoyed by her#because she WILL find a way to win#but isn’t that proof enough that she is the very OPPOSITE OF NORMAL#it’s why people have to be like ‘oh she sold her soul to the devil for this success.’ or whatever the psy-op spy thing is#because there’s no human way to explain her success if she really were as basic/talentless as people say#ugh this is all so incoherent and irritating and I’m so sorry but I just. I cannot explain how protective my heart is of her#and all the many many mistakes she’s made and the prisons she’s made for herself because she’s LIVING the tragedy#of never having denied herself one time/getting everything she wants#and discovering the poison at the bottom of everything she reached for with desperate hands#like. I love her so much and I am so protective of her because she is so helpless and she is getting shot in the face every time#and she feels every blow!#whew I need to turn off reblogs and will probably delete but I just#this album is all of her spilled out and people DO hate to see it because a lot of people hate her!!!!
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am i gonna write every thought in my brain in tags? yeah
#i woke up so terrible today but this boop thing is perfect :D i made vanilla tea and my head still hurting i feel dizzy but this option is#makes better haha#also i really loved new life strange playlist#1 is alwaaayys be better but this one is aghh#i started listen#btw i started to read books finalllyyyyyyyyyyyy(claps claps) i want to look some self help books but there is sooo much book#and some of them like “blank page 1 sentence you'll be okay” and this little bit pisses me off...#anyway i will reblog a lot quote soon cuz i'm gonna look some self help book rec#i've been readin if we were villians then i'll start bunny#but not today i'll boop and start workin#anyway bestie bye#my head dizzy girl wake up
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i have to call medicaid so i can change my insurance to something that accepts my therapy office and then i can go to therapy weekly and i can stop having the most bizarre breakdowns imaginable. i want to be offline so bad fellas.
#gnashing of teeth#its hurting my art and writing and school#i cannot look away. i cannot get myself to do things half the time#i miss being able to do things. im so fucking paranoid and overly critical. girl help#it doesnt help that since the move i literally do not have anyone to hang out with#+ very little money after bills#im like in this weird little hole and every single thing is so. hard.#girl i have. got to get screened for ocd#bc genuinely. what the fuck#immmmm better??? than i used to be?#definitely not having panic attacks every other night over like#liking the wrong thing. but oh my god#i said it last night but im glad that guy blocked me bc its a like#hard cut off for the compulsive checking. albeit i had to tell my friends that theyre reblogging his art. bc. yk.#but like. cool i can move on now. grips my brain#focus on the degree now. im begging you#......idk if youre block evading dude but like if you see this i only ever sent you one anon#and it was the one saying to turn anon off. idk if you believe me but i genuinely only ever did that#anyway. therapy this week so i should hopefully be able to uhhh recollect myself#we all should frankly. jesus christ.
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