#recruiters on deez nuts

[twst-vampire]

☆ ARMA DOOMSDAY ☆

( FINALLY! finished arma’s bio after putting it off for so long….i feel like i could’ve put sm more info but it’s a start !! )

MORE DETAILS UNDER THE CUT !!

cv: kanichi kurita

twisted from: judge doom (who framed roger rabbit)

gender: male

sexuality: bisexual

species: human (???)

birthday: 12/21

star sign: sagittarius

age: 19

height: 175 ( 5’8 )

dominant hand: right

hair color: warm grey

eye color: red

homeland : new inkwell

family: rocco degreasy (deceased), ricky degreasy (deceased)

description:

☆ arma is toontasma’s rambunctious dorm leader with a taste for being number one! he’s arrogant and annoying at times but he’s got serious talent and achievements to back it up.

background snippet:

☆ after being recruited and adopted by two talent scouts, arma spent the entirety of his childhood in the spotlight. it seemed like a dream come true…but the media and his guardians put him through the wringer, leading him down a very messy path he wishes to forget to this day.

school info:

year: 3

dorm: @toontasma

club: movie appreciation

favorite subject: math

hobby: cars, business

likes: money, annoying others, leadership

dislikes: things that take forever, invasive questions

favorite food: chili dogs

disliked food: bell peppers

talents: singing, acting, playing instruments

UNIQUE MAGIC

ALL EYES ON YOU

☆ this allows arma to expose the strengths and weaknesses of others magic abilities. an ideal magic for someone who likes to boss others around but a great tactical advantage for anyone lucky to team up with him!

trivia:

☆ shamelessly stole the lounge idea from azul. ask him and he’ll say “i’m not copying the guy if i do it ten times better. anyways come down to ink and paint club ^^”

☆ definitely says corny “updog” “ligma” and “deez nuts” jokes and laughs horribly if someone falls for it everytime

☆ a cartoony guy. he’s very expressive and he seem to abide by the laws of cartoon physics and logic, especially if there’s great comedic timing

☆ arma absolutely hates the cold. he trembles all too easily and his nose starts to run. stays at nrc during winter break bc he can’t be bothered to travel to a snowy city. also, he’s an absolute nightmare when he’s sick.

☆ he’s trying to quit smoking but failing terribly. he slips back into it too easily. he at least know time and place but that won’t stop him from having a cigarette hanging off his lips

☆ can play a lot of instruments but he’s partial to piano and saxophone. he usually likes to practice alone. same vain with singing.

PLAYLIST (UPDATED OFTEN):

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLem_n5_EybqhMjeOqkd4og56eVHZ5IFbo

[extrakuli]

HELLO

you should do genshin impact boys reacting to you pulling a deez nuts joke on them because I pull deez nuts jokes on my sister all the time #girlboss

Reacting to “deez nuts” Jokes

scaramouche x reader | diluc x reader (separate)

A/N: Added a your mom joke for scara’s part. This was super funny to write, i love writing stuff like this 😭 Scaramouche’s part is longer because i didn’t really know what to do for diluc’s but I already had an idea for scara’s

Summary—> you pull a deez nuts/yo mom joke on your boyfriend/husband to see their reaction.

warning(s)/genre—> Fluff, cursing, threats(scaramouche’s part) mentions of goreific actions. Not proofread.

Diluc;

> Man how could you pull a deez nuts joke on this poor man. My guy is so confused.

> Slowly turns his head towards your direction and raises a brow and shoots you a look of, “what did you just say to me?”

> would be even more confused when you start rolling on the ground laughing your ass off

> would result in asking kaeya and venti what it means because they say it all the time to each other but he just doesn’t pay attention enough to care.

> kind of disappointed but finds it funny how you managed to pull one on him after he finds out what the joke is.

It was just the two of you in the tavern, diluc was behind the bar cleaning up and you were sitting at one of the stools waiting for him to finish up. When you remembered the prank kaeya told you to pull. You decided to take the opportunity you had right now.

You have the smuggest smile plastered on your face. Clearing your throat, you start, “Luc’…I cant believe you did that..” you gasp. He slightly turns his head and raises a brow. “What? did I do something wrong?” Your smile widens, oh how sad that he walked in to your little trap.. ”DID DEEZ NUTS, OOHHH!!” You scream almost at the top of your lungs and burst out laughing.

He whips his head around, with the most confused and shocked look on his face and raises his brow, “What? what did you just say?” He just watches you cough and laugh as you try to explain your joke, but your laughing too hard and can’t seem to let any words escape your mouth. He sighs.

The next day when kaeya and venti are in the bar, he hesitated, but turns to them with the most serious face and asks, “What is..’deez nuts’?” Venti spits out his wine and kaeya is just shocked. They explain it to him threw giggles, but he understood.

Once he gets home he finds you on the couch and walks up to you kissing your neck, “Nice joke, love, I’m surprised you managed to catch me off guard like that.”

“yeah sorry about that..SORRY DEEZ NUTS ARENT IN YOUR MOUTH!!” You say pointing to him and giggling. He just chuckles contently and soaks in the sound of your laughs.

Scaramouche;

> what. the. absolute. fuck? did you just say? to me?

> looks at you with the most disgusted face. Why, just why.

> legit wants to break your neck after hearing those words come out of your mouth. But holds himself back because he (sadly) loves you.

> but ends up ignoring you until your on your knees begging for him to talk to you.

He was rambling (complaining) about something the new recruits did and how they did something wrong and almost got the whole team killed on a mission, and how they can’t do anything right. and how he wants to strangle them and slowly watch them die and suffer and-

“it’s not that deep bro..” you cut him off.

“what the fuck do you mean ‘not that deep’ yes it fucking is I-“

“DEEP INSIDE YOUR MOM, OOHHHH BOOM ROASTED.”

He stares at you.

you stare back.

“..”

“…”

Gets up from his seat and walks over to you and gives you the deadliest glare ever.

It makes you giggle a bit, you quickly cover your mouth hoping he didn’t hear; but you can’t help it, you burst out laughing, holding your side because it hurts from laughing so much.

Watches you stumble on to the ground from laughing so hard. Gives you the dirtiest, most disgusting look ever. Like he just watched someone pick out there own limbs out of there body and eat them.

“I can’t even. describe. how much. I despise you right now.”

you look up at him wiping the tears from your eyes trying to catch your breath. You reach out for him to help you up, but he swats your hand away and storms off.

He’s mad at you for the whole day. Grumpy and pissed off. yelling at new recruits (and childe) for no reason.

You finally catch up to Scara at the end of the day. You fall to your knees and grip the clothing of his shorts and start rapidly apologizing, swearing you’ll never do it again.

He’s looking down at you with his arms crossed. Silently enjoying the show of how pathetic you are right now. “..hm, fine, I forgive you. But your not allowed to talk to anyone else but me for a whole week.”

9:21 am 8/25/2021

[stathen]

Random Avengers Headcanons Pt1

Natasha and Bucky - after fighting with each other for some time - eventually bond due to their mutual love of motorcycles. They talk regularly, giving each other tips and tricks on how to perform certain stunts. Natasha pays Bucky to wash her motorcycle every weekend, and Bucky can always rely on Nat to fix his in return. Steve finds it strange, but also kind of amusing.

Still on the subject of Bucky: he’s an incredible cook. In civil war, a lot of people pointed out his cooking utensils. I like to believe that Steve could NOT cook for shit in the 40’s so Bucky learnt how to from the elderly neighbours next door. His favourite thing to cook - though very basic - is scrambled eggs. He used to serve them up as breakfast the morning after Steve had another attempt at being recruited rejected. Now, Steve insists he makes them for the entire team whenever he’s around.

Not a personal one but I just love it. Sam began sticking notes onto Bucky’s arm as a joke to piss him off. Normally the notes were playfully insulting. But after they become an item, Sam continues to stick the notes onto Bucky’s arm, this time with nice little messages and reminders to take care of himself.

Peter Parker realised one day that the avengers are just really fucking sad. So he organises a weekly movie marathon that showcases at least two of everyone’s favourite movies each week. So far, the most diverse and funny selection was Scott Lang’s (Mean Girls because he enjoys the drama and Polar because he gets all giddy over the weapons)

Steve likes photography. Like, really likes it. He’s weirdly good at it as well. One day he notices Wanda looking a little down, so he takes her around the nearby woods to teach her to take photographs. She ends up with a new hobby, and she in turn becomes almost as good as Steve.

Strange and Tony have been permanently banned by both the avengers and Pepper from talking to each other before midday.

Tony was so petrified when he found out he was going to be a dad. It’s not that he didn’t want it, because of course he did. It was more to do with the fact that Howard and the affect it had had on his life still lingered in his mind, and he didn’t want to be that kind of father towards his kid. When Morgan came along, he completely proved to himself that he was the opposite of his dad. He put in the hours and gave up time to spend with Morgan so he didn’t immerse himself in his work like his father had. Tony is a great dad.

Bruce constantly fiddles with things in meetings. He’s always taking pens apart and putting them back together again or running his hands through his hair or staring out of windows. He gets distracted easily, unless he’s working on a project he cares about.

Natasha has devised multiple ways to kill everyone in her spare time. Each way was crafted around their flaws so if would bring about a satisfying end, should they betray her. The only people she hasn’t imagined killing are Clint and Maria.

Peter Parker taught Shuri deez nuts jokes. She made T’Challa fall for one and he tried to have her taken back to New York. It was all jokes, but the Queen wasn’t very happy.

Sam cannot go a day without singing ‘what a man, what a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man’ under his breath.

[bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love]

MASTERLIST PART 5

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4

Shigaraki Musings: Touch

Pet Quirk-Cat

Sexy dress

All Mights niece

Random ask, cum and nipples

Hickeys instead of scratching

Deez nuts joke

Random new recruit

Caring Shigaraki

Not cheating. Balls-cock, place

Cums so hard he passes out

Random smutty thought

Puppy girl thirst

Stress

Dabi sees Shig fuck his gf

Shigaraki gets a corgi

Sleep with his cock inside you

Being called beloved

Moth Shig calming mate

Trouble with cock warming

Jars of 'milk' part 1 part 2

Ayato drabble (pet with chronic illness)

Woke up without you

Drabble

Panic Attack

Sensitive nipples

Filming and taking pics

Short SO

Shig gets hard easily

Girl says I love you for the first time

His gf says something hurtfull

Tired of being alone

How he feels about crush cooking

Phone sex

Play with his hair

Pulling Cataraki's tail

Random smutty thoughts

Shiggy getting real pussy

Very brief fleshlight thought

Submitted thirst thoughts

Ego boost

More ego boosting

Soft Shigaraki more

Why a gf who is a ray of sunshine helps him

His worries when you leave

Random dirty thirst

Overprotective Shigaraki

When him and his girl are mad at each other

Needy Shigaraki

Needy 2

Short GF

My thoughts on Shig and a one night stand

Zero experience but lots of porn

Shig loving tits

Brief cockwarming

Possessive

Cum headcanons

Suck him

On his throne idea

He pleases you on his throne

Wear his hoodie

Your dress

Fantasy thirst

Plush (Shigaraki loves thighs)

Not Fair (Monster Shigaraki)

Alpha Thirst 3

Shig would save his girl

Shig would fuck in public

First blow job

Come Undone

Transforming UA student to his wife thirst

Wants everyone to hear

Flirting with his girl

Rough yet caring

Getting Dabis girl (his crush)

Does he know his big

His doll

Dirty thoughts

Cum Bunny

Collar

Spicy cuddles

Dirty panties 2

First Blow job

No shame

Christmas thirst

Don't waste it

Morning sex

He's giving

Help Tomura bathe 2

Not scared

Make up

Babydoll party

Baby doll more

Condom

[sarenhale]

Gonna sound like a chump, but what's Buduga? If you make a nuts joke I'll cry. (Also love your blog lol)

dghfchjdghjd BUDUG ON DEEZE NUUTSSSSSS

(You called it!!)

Buduga is one of the xaela clans in FFXIV! There's a bunch of clan in the game, Buduga is one of the 'primary ones' that you get to actually see and interact with in game, which is pretty cool.

It's an all-male clan of huge homoerotic jocks who just want to fight, die, and recruit more homoerotic jocks to their clan. They're kind of a huge joke because of how funny their whole 'we don't want girls in our clan because they smell and have cooties' thinking, the fact that they're dressed in speedos and tight fight shirts opened on their chests, and fight wearing that shit while the rest of the clans are dressed in way more normal outfits.

But they also have a very interesting dynamic with other clans like the Oronir and Dotharl and generally their existence can both be perceived as 'funny naked homoerotic men' but also very depressing due to the violent and ruthless culture they have where they basically only live to fight and get more people in their clan to boost their numbers, and they often do this by kidnapping people and kids and forcing them to join their ranks. Some Xaela clans have very ruthless 'rule of survival' way of living, and Buduga are definitely one of them.

I like how this clan can both be a gag and something to made jokes out of but also have a way of living that can really be traumatic and incredibly disturbing to other xaela, especially ones that were forcefully recruited in their clan (like my poor man Arihel lmao). It's both interesting ffxiv character story fuel and also funny and good for jokes, so it's perfect. I always found super interesting how some of the bigger clans in the Steppe use forceful ways to recruit others in their ranks to boost their numbers, sometimes every annihilating an entire village or comunity and absorbing it.

I like their story a lot and I think they make for a cool clan to create a character in, so that's why I made Arihel a Buduga! (sorry Arihel! Love you!)

I have a couple of screenshots of Arihel doing push ups with some Buduga guys in Reunion and also one of him wearing the clan gear (even though you unfortunately can't get the green/black one in game). Oh and one doodle I made of him wearing the outfit :

Edit: I forgot that Arihel’s father (and main antagonist in his story) is also the Buduga khagan (clan leader)!

[sirfrogsworth]

This makes me wonder if scientists recruited parents and were like...

“NO HUGGING YOUR KIDS!” “Okayyy. What will happen?” “Their brains might not develop very well.” “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” “We’ll give you a sweet hundo.” “Fuck my kid’s brain. They can hug deez nuts. I’M RICH!”

News sites really seem to eat up these kinds of studies. They usually have small sample sizes and have not been peer reviewed. But they still report it as if it is fact. They recently published a story where some researcher in Europe found microbes in like 18 people’s beards and then I had to convince people I don’t have a poop beard. The study was just trying to see if they could stick dogs in an MRI, but because the Huffington Post needed a catchy headline, I had to justify my facial hair to my Facebook friends. 

This is how we get stories about how wine is good for you. Then it’s bad for you. Then one glass is good for you. But 10 glasses will explode your liver. 

And don’t get me started on studies about coffee. Coffee is somehow the worst and best thing you can possibly consume. Schrödinger’s beverage.  

Honestly, coffee studies just seem like scientists trying to justify the amount of caffeine they need to do these extraneous studies that help them secure funding for more important work. 

[linkedinmemes]

Rob, my ex-girlfriend who keeps tryna get back with me

They say persistence is the key to success, but baby, I just don’t see this working out. Also, what fucking city are you referring to??? There are a lot of cities on earth.

[truehomestuchfact]

Nick Saban Loves "Deez Nuts" Jokes

You understand what you don’t suppose of? Nick Saban going round telling web jokes. As he has advised us before, he doesn’t have the internet:

Even even though he doesn’t have the internet, in accordance to Josh Jacobs, Nick is a large fan of telling “deez nuts” jokes: I delight myself in understanding a first rate quantity about university football, however I ought to say “how about you maintain deez?” is some thing I would’ve by no means guessed Nick Saban has said.

I wouldn’t put it previous Saban to turn out to be a grasp of web meme subculture for the motive of recruiting. A grasp can also be pushing it, however if Saban sees that understanding net humor can pay off for him in recruiting, he may also rent an assistant that is strictly used to let Saban understand about the today's trends. If he is looking for anyone like that, I’d love to be a consultant. Talk about a dream job.