#relationship still respectful and making sure we are in a good mind set abt all this. ngl skz are one of the most down to earth groups ever

[jinlix]

His vlives are really the best...

[notepadsandtealeaves]

Tetsurou Kuroo || Kiss Kiss, Fall in Love 🍃

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

|| ao3 version | series m.list | hq tag | main blog ||

If ever two were one, then surely we. –To My Dear and Loving Husband || A. Bradstreet

🍃 A love story as told through kisses…

↠ Requested By: Nobody, I just had an ~i d e a~, Mr. Krabs ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW quip-y floof with a dash of angst for flavor lol ((but my blog’s 18+; if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ Chronology: Pre and post time skip. ↠ CWs/TWs: As I’ve said before, Tetsuro Kuroo is his own warning tbh lmao. But he cute so we’ll let it slide. Aside from that, that dash of angst that I mentioned before comes in the form of allusions to pre-time skip Kuroo’s rocky home life. I don’t go super into detail, but it does get touched on in the second and third sections; there’ll be a more in depth note before said sections. Also the general stresses that come with being a third year are touched on in the second section. ↠ Betas? Nah, we good. ((we are indeed, not ‘good’, but I’m too lazy/weird to actually work with a beta lol)) ↠ Total WC: 6k~

Inspired in part by my girl Zaira (@screamin-abt-haikyuu)’s post and my corresponding review. It’s a v. cute, fun read (tho it does start off with some angst, but it gets cleared up in short order, promise!!)—I highly recommend both her and her work, tho y’all probably know that already lol. It was definitely the kick I needed to get this installment started…

So once again I may have gotten a bit carried away with the First Kiss section—and by ‘may have’ I mean I definitely did, but it’s not my fault! With this being my first time writing for our dear chemistry rooster I’m still gathering my thoughts/HCs about him and how a relationship with him would function so things are naturally a bit more wordy. Plus I’ve found that I really like writing banter with him because you just know he’d match you word for witty, quip-y word and I love that type of energy.

But anyways!

Actually there isn’t really an ‘anyways’ this time around, so uhh, have at it ig lol…

First Kiss 🍃 Partners, in Crime and Otherwise || WC: 3.2k~

CW/TW for one very brief mention of Reader’s questionable sleeping/eating habits—as in they forget to eat, esp. when stressed, and sleep in regular intervals in v. much a foreign concept to them ((me, projecting? it’s about as likely as you think lol)).

“Hey, ____, can I uh, can I talk to you for a minute, babe?”

Ignoring the butterflies that immediately set themselves to fluttering in your tummy at the casual use of the petname, you give Kuroo a smile and a nod before excusing yourself from the group. Several of your friends give you knowing, overly amused looks that you also chose to ignore, opting instead to take the hand that’s offered to you.

As Tetsurou leads you away to somewhere more private, you focus on keeping your steps measured as the last thing you want is to trip over your own feet in front of your overly teasing best friend turned crush. You just know that he’d end up making a quip—“Can’t stop yourself for falling for me, eh?” or something else equally cheesy—that’ll send your heart and mind both into overdrive even as the former shatters just that little bit more.

You wish he meant all of the sweet little things he says to you, that his flirtation could be something more than banter, but you know that’s not in the cards for you. You’ve never been one for the whole ‘friendzone’ thing, as people are not vending machines that you put friendship coins into until a romantic relationship falls out, but at the same time you cannot help but to feel like a citizen all the same. And that’s just fine! Really. It’s not as if Kuroo owes you anything, least of all his affections, but…

Well that doesn’t stop you from craving them. And honestly how can you not, when he’s so damn amazing?

For all his teasing he’s so very kind, looking out for the whole of his team and all of his friends with a level of attention that would leave so many others burnt out. But for Kuroo it isn’t a burdensome task, or at least not one that’s too great for his broad shoulders to bear; it’s just a part of the way he’s built. And when it comes to you specifically he’s always so gentle, even when he’s getting after you in one way or another. He knows you better than you know yourself some days, and he’s always there to fill in the spaces where you’re lacking. He’s sensitive to your every mood and very much in tune with you as a whole, so much so that it almost gives you hope–

But no. There’s no point in chasing a sun that has already set.

If Kuroo wanted to be with you he would’ve made a move by now, surely. In all the time you’ve known him he’s never once shown any real interest in you in that way, not even when various classmates had come to confess to you—in fact he encouraged you to say yes on several occasions! That is decidedly not the behavior of a guy who’s harboring feelings for you. But despite all this you still want to believe that there’s something more there so badly, and Kuroo with all of his (somewhat questionable) charms doesn’t help matters.

The sweet little names he’s always calling you are the worst perpetrators and perpetrators of your foolish hopes. Babe, baby, honey, sweetheart, my little quark (that one’s admittedly a lot-a-bit nerdy, but it leaves your cheeks burning just the same, and is honestly among your favorites)—the list goes on and on and on. You know you should tell him to lay off, but there’s a part of you (that greedy, selfish, mildly masochistic part that’s all too willing to latch on to even the smallest scraps of affection) that cannot do without it. And so you allow him to unwittingly cut into your chest with every word, to peel back the layers of skin and muscle and bone with each new display of care to toy with your heart.

But it won’t do you any good to focus on any of that, ever, really, but especially right now when he’s clearly got something important to tell you.

When you finally stop walking you find that you’re on the very edges of the school’s grounds. The pair of you often come up here when you want to get away from the rest of your friends and just breathe a bit. Lately it’s become a weekly occurrence, with every Wednesday seeing you both making your way to this towering tree to share lunch.

“The third year slump is real,” he had told you with a tired laugh from where he rested his head in your lap, his feline eyes reduced to mere slits thanks to the way your fingers moved against his scalp. “Honestly, I don’t think I’d be able to make it through the week, never mind the whole of the school year if I didn’t get to recharge with you like this, so… Let’s make it a thing, yeah?”

And of course your silly, lovesick self was quick to agree.

That had been nearly two months ago now, but the memory plays with stunning clarity in your mind’s eye. In the now, Tetsurou gives your hand a little tug as he urges you to sit beside him. Gentleman that he is, he’s already spread out his jacket to give you a cleaner option for seating—“But of course my lap is always open to you, cutie.”

Your response comes in the form of an eye roll as you gracelessly flop down next to him. “So you wanted to talk, nerd?”

“You’d better be glad I know love you me or else that shit would hurt.”

You can feel your face heat a bit at his words, and you find yourself willing him to go on with a groan of his name.

“My little tsun-tsun,” he laughs as he pokes at one of your cheeks, though the sound is a bit strained. “That’s um, actually why I wanted to talk to you though.

“Okay, so,” he starts after a deep breath. “I… Man, this is harder than I thought– Heh, um. You, erm, you like me, right?”

You blink dumbly at that. “What? Of course I do, we’re best friends–”

“We’re more than that, ____, and you know it.”

“…I do?”

“Well I would hope so—we’ve been dating for almost two months now… Haven’t we?”

His voice loses a bit of its annoyance and all of its surety as he takes in the thorough confusion and extreme shock that are both fighting for dominance in your expression. He stares at you for a long moment and for the first time you find yourself able to hold the hazel of his gaze without any problems, too stunned to drop your eyes as you normally would. Kuroo’s own eyes twitch, followed soon after by the pouting of his mouth and a crinkle of his nose (It’s so cute, why is he so cute??), before the whole of his handsome face contorts itself into a grimace as he allows his head to fall back against the tree’s trunk with a heavy sigh.

“Shit. I cannot believe Kenma was right.”

“…About?”

“This, us—you not knowing…”

“That we’re supposedly dating.”

“Yup.”

He lolls his head towards you then with an unreadable expression. Those sharp, all-seeing eyes rake over your face, clearly searching for something, before he turns back towards the horizon. You try to will him to look at you again with your own probing stare, but he refuses the bait and now it’s your turn to sigh out your frustrations.

“I, uh, yeaaah… Gotta be real with you, Tetsu, I’m pretty much lost here,” you tell him. “When did this even happen? We’ve never been on a date as far as I know—hell, you haven’t even asked me out–”

Apparently that’s enough to finally get him to look at you again.

His indignant sputtering of “I– Wha? Yes I did!” leaves you rolling your eyes as you give back an equally impassioned “When?!”

“Damn near two months ago to the day!” He sits up straight now, leaning towards you in his excitement and damn near looming over you as a result. Were he anyone but who he is to you you’d probably be intimidated by the action, but as it stands you just cock a brow at him as you wait for him to explain himself.

“Remember when we had that really special lunch, and-and I confessed—or at least I thought I did—and you agreed! Did you really not know? Was I not clear enough?”

You try to remember the day in question only to find that it’s the very one you’d been thinking about just minutes before. You quickly run through the whole of your interactions—a thing that’s far too easy to do given how your brain apparently sees fit to catalog and preserve damn near every second that you spend with this boy—in an attempt to figure out when exactly he confessed, though nothing there screams ‘I like you, please be mine’.

In fact the only thing that really stands out is– Wait.

“Keep being my partner in crime?” “Yeah, Tetsu, of course—always.”

“That was you confessing?”

“Well, yeah…”

His voice has gone sheepish in a way that you’re not used to hearing from him—in fact the whole of his countenance is shot through with nerves, and were you not so caught up in your own incredulity you would’ve thoroughly enjoyed not being the one on their back foot for once. But as it stands you just drop your head down into your palms with a groaned out laugh.

“So all those study dates–?”

“Actual dates, yeah. I wanted to take you out to do something a bit more romantic, but with midterms coming up and things with our clubs piling on—well, I couldn’t let our grades suffer, yanno?”

You nod a bit at that. Putting grades before fun is very much a Tetsurou Kuroo thing. “And Wednesdays–”

“Our standing lunch dates.”

“Guess this also explains why you’ve gotten even more annoying about my sleep schedule and eating habits.”

“Well I gotta make sure my baby stays healthy! You’re always forgetting to eat, and it only gets worse when you’re stressed,” he reminds you. “And honestly even if we weren’t a thing, your hydration levels and sleeping habits are still atrocious.”

Well, he’s got you there.

“And the flirting?”

“That’s always been real, from the very start,” he admits. “I’ve kinda had a thing for you from day one.”

His words are equal parts validating and exciting, and the heady mixture leaves you spinning, just a bit, as you mutter out a quiet, “I, um, same.”

His lips pull off into that smirk that you love to hate as he teasingly nudges your arm. “Figured as much. I mean, it’s not like you’re out here making bentos and fetching forgotten water bottles and cheering yourself into laryngitis for just anybody.”

Way to make me sound like a Stage 3 Simp. (Not that you’re not, mind, but still.) Aloud, “That was one time, and it wasn’t my fault—that match was intense!” you grumble with a laugh. “But no, no I’m not. Just like you’re not out here taking extra notes and incessantly flirting and making dates that aren’t dates with just anybody.”

“No,” he parrots with a grin, “no I am not.”

The pair of you fall silent for a beat before the ridiculousness of the situation hits you in full. You cling to one another helplessly as you laugh—long, loud, and hard—before settling into your shared embrace. It should feel a bit odd, you think, being cuddled up with him like this. Despite how close the pair of you are, Tetsurou’s always been very respectful about the way he touches you. Was what you had assumed to be his way of keeping things platonic actually his not wanting to potentially give away his secret before he was ready to?

Yeah, probably, you silently decide when he presses you in more closely to his side with a contented sigh.

“I kinda feel like I should apologize,” you tell him once you’ve settle more fully into his embrace.

He stirs a bit at that, golden eyes finding yours as he lets out a confused hum. “Why?”

“Because I must’ve seemed like the world’s worst partner,” you reply, laughing a bit.

“Ah. Yeah, well…” He shrugs before leaning his head against yours. “I honestly thought that you were maybe regretting saying yes. You didn’t really act any differently—not that I was expecting a huge change considering how close we already are, but… I dunno, you just didn’t seem interested in getting to know me on that level. And you never initiated anything, uh, physical. Not that I was expecting anything like, yanno, that!” he quickly amends. “It’s just, I thought you’d at least want to hold my hand or something, but… It had me wondering if maybe I just didn’t do it for you, you know… looks-wise.”

You have to choke out a laugh at that. Tetsurou Kuroo is unfairly handsome and he damn well knows it, has even used it to his advantage on occasion—the time that he charmed a free scone out of that barista when he was too broke to actually buy himself one comes to mind, and that’s saying nothing of the fact that he’s never paid a late fee at the library, despite the fact that he never turns his books in on time—so to see him doubt this is absolutely unreal, and not in a good way. Not liking the feelings fueling the unsure quality of his voice, or the way it all makes your heart seize, you steel yourself to say something you know you probably—no, definitely—will get teased for later (and by ‘later’ you mean less than a minute after you say it).

“I’m only gonna say this once if for no other reason than I don’t need your ego getting any bigger than it already is, but… You are very much so my type, looks and all, so yeah. That’s uh, that’s out there now, so no doubts, okay?”

The same intense flush that you can feel heating the whole of your face spreads across the planes of his own to stain his cheeks with rosedust as you speak, but this sweet display doesn’t last for long, unsurprisingly. The shy smile that he’d been giving you at first slowly sharpens until it’s a full on shit-eating grin.

“‘Very much so your type’, huh? Prove it then.”

Oh no. You know that tone. He’s about to say something that’s gonna leave you wanting to dome him while somehow simultaneously dissolving into the ether.

You don’t want to ask, probably shouldn’t for the sake of your sanity, but—“…How?”

“Kiss me.”

Yup, there it is.

His expression’s so fucking smug that you don’t want to give in on principle, but goddamn if he doesn’t wear the look well…

As you continue to weigh the pros against the cons of conceding, Tetsurou’s confidence begins to falter again, with his smirk drooping as he rubs nervously at the back of his neck. “Hey, look, if you don’t want to, that’s cool! I was mostly joking anyways, like at least ninety-seven percent jo–”

You cut off the rest of the sentence with a press of your lips to his cheek. “No doubts, remember?” you gently chide as you urge him to turn his head towards you fully.

“No doubts,” he repeats, nodding a bit dumbly as if he hadn’t actually expected you to act. He smiles then, soft and sweet, as he leans in closer. His nose brushes alongside yours once, twice, and then he’s finally kissing you properly.

That first press of his lips is a tentative thing, so much so that it would almost seem teasing if it wasn’t so obvious that he was nervous. But nerves soon turn into excitement, desperation, action. You know for a fact that you’re not the first person that Tetsurou’s ever kissed, and it shows in this moment. His hands cradle you expertly, guiding your head and the rest of your body as needed until you’re kissing one another as if you were created for no other purpose.

Once you’re finally forced to part you find that he’s maneuvered you onto his lap and isn’t at all keen on letting you go—not that you really want to move, of course, though the positioning does leave you ducking your head down a bit in embarrassment. And with your boyfriend (of two months now, apparently) being who he is, he cannot help but to pick with you a bit.

“Tetsu, baby, stoooop,” you half laugh, half groan somewhere in the middle of one of his quips.

His grin is sharp and directly at odds with the way his eyes soften into something gooey and sweet as he looks you over. “Oh, so I’m your ‘baby’ now, huh?”

“Tetsurou…”

“What? I’m not mad at it at all, it’s just… nice. I, uhh, like it, yanno? Makes all of this feel real, like you’re just as into me as I am you.”

“Tetsu, I–”

“No, it’s fine,” he tells you with a shake of his head. “Well it’s not fine fine, but it’s fine.”

“I’m so glad you cleared that up,” you reply with a snort of laughter. “But seriously though—I am sorry. Had I known we were actually dating things would’ve been different, I would’ve been different.”

“Well you’re definitely good enough to me on the platonic side of things that I wasn’t completely left wanting, but I guess relationships make me greedy. I wanted all of that and this. To be honest, I…” He pauses then, uncharacteristically shy as his fingers trail down the lengths of your arms to tangle with your own before continuing on. “I want everything with you, ____.”

The admission leaves your cheeks burning, but you don’t dare look away—not now, not when he’s being so vulnerable with you and impossibly sweet. Your quiet reply of “Same” leaves you both smiling, albeit in two totally different ways.

His replying grin is heart stopping, truly, striking that balance between cute and cocky as effortlessly as ever. You cannot help but to be drawn in by it, your lips grazing over his as you say something about making up for lost time.

“Mmm, yeah, definitely, buuuut–! Looks like classes are about to start up again.”

You chance a glance over your shoulder where your fellow students are indeed preparing to head back inside and the sight leaves you sighing. “We could just ditch you know–”

“____!”

“Don’t say my name like that,” you laugh, “you sound like some old, pearl-clutching auntie!”

“Rude. I do not–”

“Oh you totally do! What happened to being partners in crime, huh?”

Your digging tease leaves him huffing out a laugh. “Conning a barista out of various pastries is one thing, but skipping class is another beast entirely. That shit can really impact your future.”

“And petty crimes won’t?”

“Not if you don’t get caught.”

“The same could be said for ditching.”

“Yeah, but–”

The pair of you continue on this way as you head back towards the main building, hand-in-hand—an old, familiar act made all the more precious by what you now know.

Volleyball Kiss 🍃 No Doubts (Remember) || WC: 1.1k~

One last CW for talk of the strains and pressures of Kuroo’s home life. Again, I don’t go super into detail, but I do make it clear that all of that as well as the general stressors that come with being the team’s captain as well as a third year (fuck those scholarship/college entry essays, amirite?) are getting to him. But luckily for him, he’s got his lovely little partner to help pull him out of his head.

“Can’t sleep?”

The question shocks Tetsurou if for no other reason than he was sure that everyone else had already fallen asleep, desperate to catch up on the rest that nerves had robbed them of the night prior. It may only be a half hour from their school to the stadium, but every bit of energy that they can acquire, no matter how seemingly minuscule, really will count down the line. The chorus of light snores are cut through by the occasional cough or dull th-thunk-ing of the bus rattling over something in the road; an odd lullaby to be sure, but one that three years’ worth of away games have taught him to appreciate.

Under normal circumstance the familiar refrain would’ve seen him drifting off along with everyone else, but his mind refuses to turn off this morning. His thoughts have been rapidly oscillating between various plays, the breakdown of rival teams’ structures, the welfare of his own teammates, and eventualities that he has no real way of evaluating or controlling. It’s an endless, near vicious loop that he’s yet to find a means of escaping in (relatively) quiet moments such as these, and so he’s resigned himself to suffer until an adequate distraction presents itself.

In truth he’s been mentally running himself ragged for the past week, with his anxieties reaching a resounding crescendo the moment he stepped onto the school grounds just a little while ago. If it were just the tournament he could probably deal, but it’s not just the tournament. It’s the tournament and the half dozen-plus entry essays that are sitting on his hard drive in various states of completion and the school year that he needs to survive with his GPA intact for those things to even have use and his mother who’s already exhibiting symptoms of empty nest syndrome despite the fact that he’s still here and Hitomi visits at least once a week (never mind that neither of them has actually lived with her in over a decade).

Dozens upon dozens of responsibilities and obligations of varying import have finally complied enough to reach critical mass, and the resulting internal meltdown is a thing that he’s been determined to weather alone.

Because Tetsurou Kuroo does not share his burdens, he bears them—resolutely and without complaint.

This is why he’d been all smiles and encouraging words and back slaps and everything else his teammates expected of him when he arrived this morning. He could do no less, be no less, not when they looked to him for stability. He’s sure that Kenma, Yaku, and Kai had seen right through his façade—never mind your knowing frown—but you all had been wise (not to mention kind) enough to keep your observations behind your teeth. After all, it wouldn’t do for the others to find out their seemingly unflappable captain’s just as capable of harboring doubts as the rest of them.

His kohai setter might be the brains, but Kuroo’s role runs deeper in some ways. He’s in the team’s very cells, the nucleus that gives direction, brings structure. To allow his misgivings to visibly manifest themselves would be extremely selfish, in his opinion, especially when he knows the worst of them will fall away once he’s on the court.

And so he sits here in the still and silent of a too early hour on a dreary January morning, nursing his thoughts with eyes pinched shut and mouth set in a hard line. Sleep is not a thing he’ll be entertaining anytime soon, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be.

“I can hear you thinking,” you say, answering the question of why you too are awake before he’s forced to ask. “I would ask you what is it that’s got you so wound up, but that’d be kinda silly, huh?”

He pushes out a huff of air through his nose at that, as much of a laugh as he can muster at the moment. When you squeeze at the hand that has been firmly in yours since you’d both settled in, he knows that it’s a silent call for him to unburden himself, and yet he hesitates. It’s not that he doesn’t want to confide in you—well, okay, that’s a lie. He’s never been one to share his fears easily, never wanted to risk making himself a nuisance to those closest to him (to risk having yet another person he cares deeply about leave him behind because his needs extended beyond the extent of their capacity to care).

But if knowing you—loving you and being loved in turn—has taught him anything is that when someone truly cares for you they’ll be there, however and wherever you need them, for as long as you need them. So long as he’s brave enough to make the jump he knows you’ll be there to catch him on the way down.

Still, he doesn’t open his eyes, not yet, settling instead for a shrug that he’s sure you feel more than see as he’s careful not to displace you from where you’re leaning heavily into his side. Though the reply is hardly one at all, you’ve long since learned to speak Tetsurou Kuroo fluently.

“Worried?”

“Mm.” (Though it pains me to admit it, yes, yes I am.)

Your thumb follows the length of his own in slow, steady strokes as you tell him, “Don’t be.”

“Hmm…” (Easy for you to say, sweetheart. You’re not the one that’s gotta get out there and preform.)

“You guys have been training hard, yeah? Have done everything you can to prepare?”

“Mhm.” (You know we did, you were there.)

“Then there’s nothing else for it. Trust in your team, trust in your training, trust in yourself. You got this, babe.”

The feeling of your shifting is the thing that finally sees his eyes opening. Overcast skies have turned the whole of the horizon into a uniform sheet of white-grey and he finds himself blinking hard against the muted brightness. When his inner lenses finally decide to play nice and focus you’re smiling that perfect little smile of yours—the one that you save just for him, and grace him with liberally. He mirrors the sentiment, slow and easy, as he allows his forehead to come down to rest against yours.

“Remember—no doubts.”

Those words have been a mainstay in your relationship since you’d uttered them all those months ago, and the callback works as well as it ever does. His smile softens down into something sweet, private—an expression saved solely for you, one that he knows you think is just as perfect as the one you’re giving him—before falling away under a chaste press of lips.

“No doubts,” he echoes, voice decisive and heart steadier than it has been in a long while.

One Hundredth Kiss 🍃 Questionable Decisions that Bear Repeating || WC: 900~

CW for one use of ‘kitten’ as an endearment (Reader receiving). Also more mentions of Kuroo’s jacked up home life. His parents’ divorce (and the resulting emotional fallout) really did a number on him, and while he’s determined to rise above it all he’d be lying if he said it doesn’t still get him inside his head from time to time. Luckily for him he’s got a sweet, loving, and supportive partner that’s more than willing to help ease his thoughts and fears…

“Looks like you got the first problem wrong, and if you used this formula for the subsequent ones—and I’m guessing you did—then that means they’re all wrong too.”

You stare blankly at the essay before you, the words that you’re supposed to be scrutinizing for the sake of your boyfriend’s GPA dropping out of focus until they coalesce into a formless, graphite hued blob. Biting down on the dread that’s attempting to claw its way up from your stomach to settle inside your chest, you blink hard a few times and take one deep, steadying breath before slowly looking down past your knees to the man that sits with your legs in his lap. A too small bed in an equally small room makes the positioning more of a concession than a comfort in the same way that your calling what Tetsurou is doing ‘sitting’ is being extremely generous. In truth your boyfriend is one of the worst manspreaders that you’ve ever met, though in his defense his stature doesn’t really allow for him to not sprawl.

Still, he’s taking up a good chunk of real estate in your dorm, with his long ass legs stretching over the side of the mattress and far beyond, to the point where his feet are nearly under your desk. As for the rest of him—his back’s slouched against the wall at what has to be an uncomfortable angle while the hand that isn’t holding your (apparently very much wrong) calculus homework busies itself with rubbing a soothing pattern against your calf. It would be more effective, you’re sure, if it wasn’t accompanied by a golden gaze shuddered with pity.

“That… cannot be right. I spent so long on those problems, Tetsu!”

“I know, baby.”

“And I triple checked to make sure I was using the right formula because I knew I kept getting them mixed up–”

“I know–”

“I even had you check for me! So how—fucking how—is this even possible?” You pause again as another thought suddenly takes you. “Tetsurou Kuroo. If you’re trolling me right now, on god…”

He holds your stare (glare) for a beat, then two before his mouth starts to twitch with the beginnings of a laugh. When you growl out his name the dam bursts leaving him cackling like a hyena as he doubles over.

You pull your legs up towards yourself as you tell him, “You’re the absolute worst, you know that?” When he only laughs harder you nudge him just as hard with your feet in a bid to push him out of your bed. It doesn’t work, of course, he’s built way too sturdily for that, but the sentiment is there at least. “Ugh, I swear I cannot stand your childish ass! You stay on some bullshit…”

“Oya?”

“Oh no—we are not starting that mess. Get out, I don’t want to look at your stupid face anymore–”

He snorts at that. “Oh so now my face is stupid, huh?”

“Yup,” you’re quick to reply, popping the ‘P’, “and your hair is worse. Ol’ chemistry rooster looking headass. ‘What is a comb?’ headass. All the gel in the world can’t do nothing for all these damn cowlicks headass–”

Your next quip devolves into a squawk followed by peals of laughter as your man quickly pulls you down the length of the bed so that he can cage you in. Retribution comes in the form of a flurry of kisses that are interspersed with the odd nip to your vulnerable neck and collarbones; all the while you’re left to laugh wildly as you try to fend off his attack. It’s only when your giggles turn into something more breathless and wanting that he decides that you’ve been properly chastened. He kisses his way up your neck and over your jaw, stopping just shy of letting his lips brush against your eager mouth.

“If I’m all that, kitten, then why do you love me so much, hmm?”

“Because I make questionable life decisions, obviously.” A coquettish air replaces the snark that would usually color such a retort, with your voice wrapping around the words in a sinuous purr instead.

He hums at that, his lips slurring along your skin until he’s able to breathe his reply directly into your ear. “In that case, wanna make another one—or several—with me right now?”

“Oh hell yes…”

“Well somebody’s eager. No second thoughts, questions, concerns… Doubts…?” Though his tone is equal parts playful and teasing, there’s something buried in the heart of it—of him—that harbors doubts of its own.

It’s that same part that leaves him clenching desperately at you on days when childhood memories try and convince him that love is transient and that vows are made to be broken– That part that has him begging you to be that one defiance to everything he knows and stay on nights when he thinks you to be soundly asleep– That part that drives him to do better by you than what he’s been shown, and to be the kind of man that can be trusted to guard your heart.

That level of passion, devotion, love can only ever be met in kind. This is why you do not hesitate to drop all pretenses– Why you pull him flush against you—body to body, heart against heart– Why you pour all of your sincerity into one simple promise, words that have become a well-loved refrain–

“No doubts—not now, not ever.”

–and seal it all with a sweet, lingering kiss.

Forever Kiss 🍃 It’s too Late to Catch Me (Because I’ve Already Fallen for You) || WC: 700~

“Still falling for me, even after all these years, huh?” Admittedly it’s not his best line, but Tetsurou figures he can be cut some slack given the fact that the person he loves more than anything almost lost their life to their own clumsy feet.

Okay, so he might be being a bit dramatic here—your fall probably would’ve only netted you a bruise at most—but having spent the better part of a year babysitting the well-meaning, but ultimately chaotic disaster humans that made up his old VBC has taught him to expect the worst from even the most minor of instances. But the what if’s are all immaterial in the end, he supposes, since they were not. He was there to catch you (albeit unwittingly, you’d kinda just fell into his chest as he was coming through the door) and your knees are safe and contusion free, so what more could either of you ask for?

Perhaps a lack of cheesy and ill-timed pick-up lines, if your unimpressed stare is anything to go by, but hey—you knew what you were signing up for from jump.

Though your face screws itself up into something thoroughly annoyed, for Tetsurou that has always translated as ridiculously adorable, so by his estimation it really shouldn’t surprise you that your expression does not garner the desired reaction.

His smirk is as unrepentant as ever as he pulls you more firmly against himself to press kiss after overly loud kiss across the breadth of your cheeks, only daring to capture your lips once their pout parts around reluctant burbles of laughter. It only takes a few pecks before you’re both in need of more, but he refuses to be the one to break. Holding on to his resolve when you’re whining so prettily for him—feeble hands curling into the fabric of his shirt and his name falling from your lips in a plea as you look up at him with those doe-like eyes—is a nearly impossible feat, but he manages if only just.

He tells you to use your words, but you decide that actions would serve you both better and honestly he couldn’t agree more. He bends easily under your insistent tugs, yielding control of the kiss readily only to snatch it back the moment you think you’ve gained some ground. When a need for oxygen forces you to part some long seconds later he’s pleased to see you thoroughly flustered and damn near drunk on his affections.

Gods, they’re always so beautiful, but seeing them like this? Breathtaking, truly… Though the thought is an overly sweet one, by the time it makes it out of his mouth, well…

“Gods, you’re so into me—simp.”

You scoff at that. “Says the man who’s still trying to win me over with dry ass pickup lines after damn near a decade of being together.”

“But did it work though?”

When you don’t bother with a reply beyond an exasperated roll of your eyes he counts it as a success. And said success, he decides, deserves a reward in the form of claiming your lips once again.

You don’t resist him despite the cut of your glance, with that soon falling away under the fluttering of lids. Tetsurou eyes follow suit with a soft exhale as he revels in the sweetness of the kiss. There is nothing demanding about the ministration, only the gentle give and take, the beauty that comes with intimate repetition.

When the pair of you part this time it’s with a soft sigh, but you don’t go far. Foreheads brace against one another as breaths are shared and heartbeats sync. The silence that follows is a comfortable one that the man is reluctant to break, and yet he feels compelled to speak just the same, to reassure you of his love just as you’ve done for him so many times throughout the years.

“I know I’m not the most conventional when it comes to showing it, but– I love you, ____. Far more than what you’ll probably ever know, honestly.”

His words leave your eyes syruping with emotion as you match his stare and devotion both. “You drive me crazy more often than not, but I really do love you for it. I love you, Tetsu. Always…”

“I know, baby, I know—and I never doubted it, not even for a second.”

Taglist (open to 18+ users ONLY): @therescrackinmytea​ ((sorry for the random tag, but I saw you were feeling a bit meh and I thought that this might cheer you up some))

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2022 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

[tadashiwa]

nekoma boys reacting to you sending nudes for the first time

ALL CHARACTERS ARE OF AGE. 

karasuno part here!

warnings: mentions of nude images (obviously), sexting, mentions of cheating (kuroo (its your ex cheating on you)), insecurity

kenma kozume

kenma is a NIGHT OWL

like he stays up laaaate all the time

so if you text him at like 3am you know he’ll respond

one night you’re feeling h word

and i mean h word

you’ve given kenma head once and you’ve made out a few times but that’s all you’ve done in the sexual nature

so you don’t wanna overwhelm kenma but still you wanna treat your boy <3

so you put on one of his hoodies and kneel on your bedroom floor in front of your mirror n take a few cute pics and say you miss him to surprise him

and then he

SURPRISES YOU

and starts getting dirty

he on demon time 😈

you start blushing like crazy as he starts giving you instructions on how to play with yourself and how he’s gonna wreck you when you see him next

because baby he’s so attracted to you!!! he just didn’t wanna push you until you were ready <3

kuroo tetsurou

you had been in a relationship for a really long while but your now ex had cheated on you

which.... hurt

kuroo’s your best friend so you’re crying to him over the phone about how you don’t feel attractive

and kuroo’s had a crush on you for so long so he’s like $*%#$%^&%@(#&

baby he just wants to love you and show you how fucking attractive you are

so this dummy starts rambling about how beautiful you are and you anyone would be so lucky to be with you and how your ex is an idiot

and so you’re sad and feeling lonely and you trust kuroo and so you’re like. fuck it.

“kuroo, can i just like--can i send you hot pictures of me or something? i just want someone to tell me they’re hot and mean it, i don’t know, i just want--”

kuroo’s brain SHORT CIRCUITS

like oh my fucking god you’re the hottest person he knows and you’re offering him pictures of you just being hot has he died and gone to heaven--

so he gets all “oh my god yes--wait no! wait yes? only if you want to? yeah! if you want to! but don’t feel like you have to i just want you to feel comfortable--”

you assure him that you're okay with it <3 we love our respectful boys

you send him one of you kneeling in front of your mirror in a lingerie set and kuroo's ridiculously embarrassed of how hard he gets so quickly

he's losing his mind but he tries to be like "just as friends tho 🥴"

but then you ask him if he wants to come over and he's like god yes

lev haiba

he's had the longest day ever

like hes so exhausted and pissed off and he's texting you ranting

lev doesn't like when hes angry and neither do u!!! u wanna make him feel a little better

you're really the best partner in the world and lev doesn't even know how to thank you for being so amazing

hence why when you sent him a picture of you wearing nothing but one of his shirts he MELTS

hes like dude i was looking for that shirt

and then youre like wait r u mad—

and hes like NO NO NOT AT ALL

hes more than willing to sacrifice any of his shirts if it meant you sent pictures like that

his baby is just so pretty and so hot he's not sure how he got so lucky

he immediately forgets about how hard his day was and he just cannot wait to come over tomorrow

yamamoto

the way you killed him

LMAOASKAOAKAKSJ

like hes trying so hard to be chill abt it but like

youre SO HOT

hes like "wait that was meant for me???"

.....yes dummy youre dating

he simply thinks youre the most attractive person and the fact that youre into HIM????

how did he get so lucky

he's never been extremely insecure when it came to your relationship but the fact that like

you're so pretty and funny and sweet and you look like that out of your clothes and you chose him????

he cant believe it

he just loves you so much <3

soft boy i love him so much

yaku

so you and him were best friends and you've had a crush on him for the longest

you and him had kinda been talking about life and stuff and he's not giving himself enough credit

like he's never been the one in the friend group to get the most girls or guys and he thinks itd just be nice to experience that you know

you're listening like the good best friend you are but its breaking your fucking heart

can't he see how much you like him?!?!?!? gah

(he has a crush on you too but youre both Oblivious)

and then one day one of his old jerseys goes missing and hes like ???

but then that night you send him a picture of you in your mirror and you're wearing it and a pair of skin tight shorts that barely show from underneath the hem of his jersey

and oh my god

he's not sure if you know that he can see your nipples peaking out from underneath the fabric and he's just. a MESS

its not nudes per se but it does more to him than he'd ever care to admit

so when you ask if you can keep it hes like yes obviously

and he cannot stop blushing the next time he sees you

he <3

AHHH this was fun

[ackerfics]

slow dance with you — mikasa ackerman

— goth!mikasa ackerman x soft!female reader (modern au)

— warnings: slight mention of alcohol, pure rotten fluff

— summary:  after gaining some courage from the drinks she had in the party and from the advice she got from her friends, mikasa is ready to become your girlfriend.

— word count: 3.9k

— author’s notes: i would like to thank the anon who gave me some ideas for goth!mikasa, you are so amazing !! thank you for the small headcanons. and since we’re on the topic of writing abt goth!mikasa, i couldn’t help but pair her up with a classic soft girl who likes to wear pink at every time of the day. this dynamic is based on marceline and princess bubblegum so i hope you enjoy !!

p.s. the reader will have dyed hair here, if this is not your cup of tea, just let this fly by your dash.

listen to this while reading.

“She dyed her hair pink,” came a dazed yet mesmerized tone.

“You’re staring at her again.”

Mikasa jumped on her seat at Eren’s nonchalant observation. She whipped her head to her best friend, his attention directed on his laptop, hands flying across the keyboard as he typed out the next few words in his essay. Noticing the incredulous look the black-haired girl was shooting him, Eren rose an eyebrow before rolling his eyes. Mikasa huffed, crossing her eyes with a subtle hue of red on her cheeks, complimenting her dark lipstick. “I am not staring,” she mumbled. “Shut up, Eren.” She looked away from her subject of interest but continued shooting small glances.

Eren sighed, running his hand through his hair. He was always one of the witnesses of his best friend slash sister being meek around her crush. At first, he was teasing her because not going to lie, Mikasa’s crush is a pretty person but as their years in college made them juniors, Eren will be the reckless idiot that he is (courtesy of Armin) and set Mikasa up. But he liked to live his life out first — Mikasa will probably curse him with that spellbook she bought from the antique bookshop they encountered in their little exploration back when they were first-years. “Mikasa, why don’t you take the chance and confess to her? It’s not going to be the end of the world.”

“If she rejects me? What then?”

“Then that’s the next problem that you will have to face.” The brown-haired boy turned back to his essay. He stared at his laptop screen blankly before spewing out curses. “Now, I forgot what to write next! Damn it.” He picked up his iced coffee and drank from the metal straw as his life depended on it.

Mikasa rolled her eyes at her best friend’s first statement. “Gee, thanks for the advice. It was very much appreciated.”

“Glad to be of help.”

There was a thud on their table that made the two look up from their respective activities. Eren had a scowl on his face because for the nth time this day, he was interrupted from finishing his essay (for fuck’s sake, he doesn’t want to fail Ackerman’s class). Mikasa blinked from scrolling through her crush’s Twitter account (the last post she wrote was about how Levi Ackerman, Mikasa’s relative and everyone’s Anthropology professor) and fixed her attention on their blonde friend, Armin. He looked too bright after a round of morning classes, something that Eren doesn’t comprehend. The blue-eyed young man has always been the rational and genius third of their little group. There wasn’t a time where Armin’s advice got a situation to erupt in flames. It was either the situation became an inferno instead (Eren) or nobody had the guts to do it (Mikasa).

“Hey, guys!” Armin greeted, arranging his side of the table, meticulously placing each component of his lunch in front of him. “How were your morning classes?”

“Shit,” Eren spat out.

“Of course, it is.”

“They were alright,” Mikasa shrugged.

“Figured.” Armin glanced at his friend’s sides of the table, nodding at Mikasa’s balanced lunch while blankly staring at Eren’s laptop. The device should’ve been a good tray of lunch. “I thought you were eating lunch, Eren? That’s what you said in your text.”

“Can’t,” the brown-haired boy huffed. He gestured at his iced coffee without taking his eyes off the laptop. “I guess, this counts as my lunch.”

“When’s that essay due?”

“In about,” Eren looked at the time on his laptop, “three hours. Ackerman is my first period later. That fucking terror professor has no mercy when it comes to this. Can he just piss off for once? Mikasa, do you even tell him to get laid? Because I think that would solve his attitude. I swear to God, he’s getting more pissed every damn day.”

“Wow, I guess getting my short, grumpy, middle-aged uncle to start his sex life will be a nice conversation starter,” Mikasa drawled, half-lidded, bored eyes reading every tweet her crush has posted for the entire week. Mikasa couldn’t help but smile at one post about a new movie her crush just watched, saying that it was now a new favorite. She was tempted to give a heart on every single post but that would it weird because they never followed each other despite the small interactions they shared in between classes. With a sigh, she looked up, only to be met with Eren’s unamused stare. Raising an eyebrow, she asked, “What? Do you think that would work, Eren? Levi is probably a virgin his whole life and will continue his record until he’s all shriveled up.” Eren blanched at the image. “Just finish your homework and stop complaining.”

“I’m trying!”

“You’re not trying hard enough, that’s for sure. If you just started that essay the day he assigned it to your class, you would have finished it way before the deadline.”

Eren pointed at Mikasa with narrowed eyes. “Don’t even go there, Mikasa. I have a life aside from being a sleep-deprived college student.”

“I mean, she’s got a point, Eren.” Armin immediately rose his hands in defense when Eren shifted his glare from the black-haired young woman to him. “You always tend to procrastinate in the most impeccable timing that we sometimes have to remind you of your backlogs. And now, here you are, doing things last minute when you could’ve prevented the rush by doing it immediately.”

“Thanks for slapping the reality to my face, you two,” Eren dryly replied, going back to his essay for the final time. “And by the way, Armin, give Mikasa some solid advice that she will finally follow because she’s making googly eyes at Miss Pretty two tables from us a couple of minutes before you arrived. You know, the love of her life?”

Armin roamed his eyes in the lunch hall and sure enough, there was Mikasa’s goddess sitting with her group of friends. There was that brown-haired girl that was dubbed as the Potato Girl for eating mashed potatoes during Ackerman’s class (the professor told the class his rules of no eating or going out of the room while he’s discussing the moment the girl took a spoonful of her snack). A young man with a buzz cut snorting at what the brown-haired girl said. Armin remembered sharing a class with him. He never got the chance to introduce himself because the young man was sleeping throughout the lecture. There was usually a fourth person in the little group but it seems like he was running late or already in his class. That person was Eren’s sworn frenemy, the reason for that relationship was unknown to this day.

The three people at the table all stood up, the brown-haired girl and the taller young man leading the way. Armin instantly had an idea.

“Hey, [Name]!”

Mikasa nearly had whiplash from turning her head to Armin. “Armin?!” she hissed under her breath, face becoming hotter when you looked at their table, a bright smile lighting up your face. You called your friends, telling them to go on ahead without you, to which they nodded before walking towards the trio’s table. Her brain wasn’t processing the moment you lifted a hand to wave at whoever you were smiling at. Mikasa wished it was her. “Fuck,” she whispered, registering how cute you look. You donned a salmon pink plaid sundress and a white cardigan, matching with the bubblegum pink locks you let down. Her heart was hammering a thousand miles per second and there was no hope of stopping it.

“Hi, Armin,” you replied, stopping a few feet from Mikasa, who looked away from you to fix her wide-eyed stare on her empty plate.

“I was just going to ask if you already have a partner in our Molecular Biology lab?” The blue-eyed young man then turned to Mikasa and Eren. “I’m in the same class as her this year.”

“As if calling her here wasn’t that obvious,” Eren murmured, still typing out his essay.

“I don’t need your dry remarks right now, Eren, don’t want to ruin the atmosphere. So, [Name], you have a partner?”

You shook your head. “I think not. It would be great if we could be partners though. I need a break from the people I’ve been partnered with throughout college.”

He gave you a sympathetic smile. It was true, though. Most of the grouping during your first years of college were all set up by the teachers so the students really had no say on the matter at hand. Even Armin was exposed to a variety of students, most of them being too slacking to participate or too overbearing with their suggestions that they have no plans of doing. He nodded with a smile, “I’ll be sending an email to Professor Zoe about this and we’re done.” He glanced behind you, noticing that your two friends weren’t there anymore. “I’m sorry for holding you up. I’m pretty sure you have a class after lunch. See you around?”

You waved him off. “It’s fine, I told them to go ahead since Sasha has a class scheduled right after lunch and Connie had to nap in his dorm. And I don’t have any class the whole afternoon, except for an online session so yeah, see you around, Armin.” You acknowledge Eren with a nod, to which he responded with a cool expression (as if his mind wasn’t a mess from the cramming), and gave a soft smile to Mikasa, “Bye, Mikasa.” And you were off to your dorm, leaving behind two amused men and an awestruck Mikasa.

The black-haired young woman was hyperventilating the moment you disappeared from the lunch hall, hands clenched on top of her black shorts. She regretted wearing a thin, long-sleeved striped sweater under her black shirt because it was so fucking hot after that encounter. Her entire body was vibrating with too many emotions all at once, short-circuiting until she became a heap of flustered mess in front of her best friends. “Oh, my God,” she muttered like a prayer. She definitely needed one after seeing you all pretty in pink. It was too much for her soul because you two are a perfect match this time. Her grommet belt and choker were not helping because she couldn’t fucking breathe.

“Mikasa, breathe,” Armin reminded beside her. “Yeah, that’s it.”

Once she regained her composure, Mikasa realized she probably looked like a gaping fish. “Oh, my God! I’m so sure that this time, she thinks I’m weird. My name is the only one she mentioned aside from Armin which is saying something because she’s classmates with him. But why did she say goodbye to me? Oh, my God, she’s giving me so many butterflies right now.”

“Your gay is showing,” Eren pointed out calmly.

“Eren, not the time,” Armin murmured, hovering his hands over Mikasa’s back.

“Just wanted to alleviate the tense atmosphere. No need to get so worked up.”

“But, Mikasa, your feelings for her are showing.”

Eren clapped his hands, pointing a finger at Armin. “That, my friend, is a genius observation.”

Ignoring the green-eyed man, Armin continued, “I think it’s time you confess to her. Three years is a pretty long time pining for a person. In the end, her knowing your feelings will be inevitable. That is if you have no plans in letting her know.”

“Of course, I want her to know,” Mikasa murmured, fiddling with the sleeves of her striped long-sleeves.

“I heard that there’s a party this Saturday in Reiner’s frat,” Eren told them, meeting both of his friends’ eyes over the top of his laptop screen. “We’re in the same football team with Jean. The horseface is a friend of your girl,” he nodded at Mikasa, who erupted in a sputter of her crush not being her girl, “okay, not your girl — yet. As I was saying, [Name] is good friends with Jean and if Jean is there, Miss Pretty in Pink will be, too. That’s your chance to ask her out, Mikasa.” He met the blinking gray eyes of his best friend. “The question is, are you up for that?”

-

“You were staring at her so hard at lunch again.”

You looked up from your book to acknowledge Sasha entering your dorm room after a whole afternoon of packed lectures. The brown-haired young woman was so tired that she immediately plopped on top of her bed on the other side of the room. At first, you didn’t register what she said because you were preoccupied with your book. You chose to indulge the night in a good book because it has been a long time since you’ve done that. With furrowed eyebrows, you asked, “Can you repeat what you said, Sasha?”

Sasha tilted her head to look at you with one eye uncovered by her duvet. Her hair fluttered after puffing out a breath of disbelief. “Oh, don’t pretend that you have no idea, Miss Pretty in Pink.”

“That’s because I didn’t catch what you said,” you replied, gesturing at your novel. “And what’s with that Miss Pretty in Pink nickname? Did some of the students around campus started that?”

“Sort of,” Sasha hummed. She sat up from her bed and took out her phone from her backpack lying on the floor. You watched the whole time she stretched her arm without changing her position on her bed. With her phone in hand, she opened her Twitter account. “Actually, a friend of mine tweeted it, wait, I’m just going to scroll through my Likes tab to find her tweet. Oh, here it is.” Sasha showed you her screen, patiently waiting for you to take the device from her hand to get a closer look. Her hopeful smile turned into a small pout when you made no moves in doing so. “Take my phone and see for yourself.”

You sighed, following her pleas. “It’s probably just someone from the volleyball team. You know how some of them never stopped following me around campus. Can’t they take the hint that they’re not my type?”

“This person is much better than those himbo simps following you around. She’s an amazing person behind that shy exterior of hers.”

You only hummed, blankly staring at your roommate’s phone before your eyes widened in realization. Your eyes skimmed over and over again at the handle, mkackerman, beside the display picture of a short-haired girl in pigtails. It was the girl that managed to capture your attention during your first year at Eldia University. The girl with an air of mystique that the stars are jealous of. You always admired her from afar, appreciating her style each day. But your admiration was getting replaced with something more at the five words she tweeted. 

You’re so pretty in pink.

Roses bloomed in your cheeks, complimenting your pink hair the longer you gawked at her short post. 

“What?” you breathed out after a full minute of silence.

“Mm-hmm,” Sasha hummed with a smug smile. “And who dyed her hair pink impulsively last weekend?” She intentionally looked at you with sharp eyes, her smile turning into a smirk full of mischief. In actuality, Sasha knew of Mikasa’s crush on you since they were acquainted with each other. It was an embarrassing first meeting between the two, with Sasha latching on a random person’s arm in the station and it turned out to be Mikasa. The two became great friends after that, well, after Mikasa lowered her guard down, leaving her pocket knife safely tucked underneath her checkered skirt. It was Sasha who managed to make Mikasa confess of her undying love for you, the former squealing her heart out in the library. (They were kicked out after that.) 

“I don’t know,” you denied. “There could be a couple of people in the campus who thought that spontaneously dyeing their hair pink is an awesome idea.” You threw your hands in the air, giving back Sasha her phone right after.

“Trust me. Mikasa doesn’t have any interest in any other girl other than a special someone I know.”

You chose to ignore her, turning back on the discarded book on top of your covers. The words flew around your mind, aggravating you until you placed the novel on your lap. A defeated sigh came out of your lips. “Okay, let’s go out for some dinner.” You stretched, switching your pajama bottoms for a pair of loose jeans, and leaving your button-down pajama top on. The people in public will never know your top is a part of a pajama set. As you ducked down to roll the bottom of your jeans, you hear Sasha’s bed shuffling. Sitting up, you regarded her with an inquisitive raise of an eyebrow. “Spill it.”

“Oh, alright. Jean told me to bring you to a party.”

You stood up, patting your lap of imaginary dust, placing your things and book inside your tote bag. “Tell him no. I have a written exam coming up and I don’t want to fail one of my majors. He can manage without one person in our friendship group.”

Sasha huffed, mimicking your actions. “This will be the last time!”

“You said that the previous party you pulled me to.” You narrowed your eyes at her. “I couldn’t get up for a whole day because of that party. Don’t forget your wallet.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Sasha threw her wallet in her small bag, throwing the strap over her shoulder. “I promise that this will be the last time, I’ll even call Connie for the witness of my pact!” She placed a heartfelt palm over her chest, lifting her chin a little in the air. “I solemnly swear I am … keeping my promise.”

“You hesitated.”

The brown-haired girl giggled sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck. “It’s kind of hard not to continue the quote from Harry Potter. You can’t blame me for that!”

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

“You better because Mikasa will be there.”

You blinked at her statement. “What does this have to do with her?”

Your roommate looped her arm with yours, pulling you in the direction of the elevators. “Because,” it sounded like she was talking to a child, “you were staring at her earlier during lunch period. I understand that because Mikasa looks so good every second of the day but there was something different about the way you’re staring at her.” She tapped her finger on her chin. “Let me see, there’s some pizzaz there.”

“The pizzaz you’re talking about is me admiring her make-up — nothing more.”

“Whatever you say,” came Sasha’s sing-song voice. “I will be the first one who will say ‘I told you so’ to your face when you two start dating.”

-

The night of the party was not as bizarre as you thought.

Sure, there were people having shots in the living room but there weren’t any extreme scenarios lying around unlike some of the parties Connie and Jean went to. It was mostly catching up with old friends or making connections with strangers by ranting about the education system of your university. All in all, it was a fun night, yet here you are, holding your cup of beer with two hands as you craned your neck to get a glimpse of Sasha. Your roommate disappeared as you turned to get a shot, leaving a confused you behind. To think you specifically asked Sasha to be by your side throughout the night. You cursed in your head, you being reliant on the presence of others surfacing. Your stress made you tip your head back, downing your drink in a go.

Without anything to do, you leaned back on the wall. Mind hazy, eyes glassy, you searched the living room for a spunky brown-haired girl that you were supposed to be buddies with. Instead of Sasha, you met gazes with a girl with stars for her eyes. She was equally mesmerized as she was staring straight at you. Everything became silent as your heartbeat resonated with hers. She was beautiful in her all-black outfit — a leather pencil skirt over fishnet stockings, cropped tank top, and combat boots. The two of you are contrasting with one another; her lipstick so dark whilst yours shone a pretty coral, her hair framing her face in a midnight pixie cut whilst yours were in pink waves cascading down, her entire appearance blending in the background whilst you were a beacon with your coordinating soft outfit. 

God damn it, Sasha was right.

You are definitely falling in love with Mikasa Ackerman.

Mikasa who you saw reading tarot cards of her blonde friend. Mikasa who you bumped into during the opening ceremony two years ago. Mikasa who you discovered to have an affinity for electric guitars when you stumbled in one of the auditoriums, her department’s band having an audition. Mikasa who never meets your gaze because you make her nervous at how effortless you carry yourself. 

But tonight, she never looked away from you, her eyes having an adoring yet determined shine.

She stopped in front of you, mere inches separating you two. You looked up at her, her combat boots making her taller than she already is. You saw her eyes flick to your lips, your breath hitching at the thought of having her dark lipstick on any part of your body. With a careful tilt of her head, Mikasa ducked her head a little to fully meet your eyes face to face. “I saw you’re alone,” her voice is still soft-spoken as if she was afraid that she was scaring you. It might be because of the liquid and verbal courage she got from drinking and listening to her best friends because Mikasa had no plans of letting you go tonight. “I thought you needed company.”

A breath came out of your lips, your proximity making Mikasa feel it. “Uhm, if it’s you, I don’t see why not?”

A large smile brightened Mikasa’s face before it dimmed as she lowered her gaze to your lips once more. “I’ve been waiting three years for this.”

Maybe your mind was too hazy with alcohol or it could be because you accepted your feelings for the black-haired girl, so you whispered, lips brushing against hers in the most addicting way possible, “Just kiss me, Mikasa.”

Her lips softly moved against yours in a slow dance, the inches separating you disappearing as Mikasa wrapped an arm around your waist. You lift a hand to cup her jaw, tilting your head to deepen the kiss and to brush your tongue with hers. You felt her shiver, biting your lower lip to make you open up more, with your whimpers tingling her hearing. Mikasa pulled away, trailing firm kisses on the skin where your shoulder meets your neck. Seeing the black kiss mark on your skin, she smiled and placed fluttering kisses on your neck up to your cheek. Opening your eyes, the silver grays in front of you have never been so beautiful. You returned the favor of placing kiss marks. You stood on your tiptoes, feeling Mikasa’s hand steadying you, and left a coral pink mark on the corner of her mouth. 

Mikasa dipped her head, placing her lips close to your ear.

“I want to slow dance with you,” she sung to your ear. “I know all the other boys are tough and smooth and I got the blues. I want to slow dance with you.” Mikasa hid a small smile at your flustered expression. “So can I be your vampire queen, Bonnie?”

The moment you said yes, there was a shout in the crowds. “Hell yeah, your plan worked, Eren, Armin!”

You and Mikasa stared at each other with wide eyes before laughing. 

“Let’s go ditch this party.”

“Thought you’d never ask, Bonnie.”

[sukumen]

YEEEEES i'm glad u like it 👀like can u imagine how elated he is to have her FINALLY look at him after yearning for a thousand years and having to pick up the pieces of her twisted relationship with sukuna during their first life? because she was probably hurting all the time struggling between loving sukuna and being obligated to fight him. imagine they were best friends so she cries into his arms and bares her soul but he couldn't!! do anything!! except comfort her bc her heart wasn't his!! 🥴

ok back AGAIN bc i deadass have been thinking abt a reincarnated sorceress / gojo / sukuna for DAYS so when i saw u drop those drabbles i was like oh my god someone to talk to jakdslfjs 🤪but i always thought about how sukuna probs used to be a rlly powerful sorcerer who turned into a curse?? like maybe a group of humans hurt the reader and he just got so pissed he cursified himself which is y the reader's gotta exorcise her husband now 😔at one point i was like "lmao what if she's pregnant too"

like sami imagine hotshot sorcerer!sukuna and michizane (it's what i've taken to calling pre-reincarnation gojo 👀) competing over our sweetheart priestess in their og lives and how that translates to pettiness in their current lives lmaooo. plus the outfits from that time (~heian era) are so pretty, the three of them paint such a lovely picture!! anyways more angst: sukuna and the priestess never being able to fight 100% against each other bc "fuck that's my wife/husband" SORRY for the spam 💋

omg don’t worry at all about the spam, i’m living! i have so many thoughts about this highkey, so i’m just going to ramble haha. read more for slight spoilers!

ok i’ve always been so curious about sukuna’s origin story; all we know at this point obvi is that he was a human sorcerer originally, so i’m right there with you re: some major turning point between that and him being a curse. and i think it would provide some valid background for why reader, as a priestess at that time, would even be around him enough to fall in love. like god can you imagine them having the type of dynamic that gojou, getou, and ieiri had in school? a trio growing up and realizing their powers for good side by side until one strays?

michizane and sukuna don’t necessarily like each other, but there’s a clear respect for each other’s power and skill. the real glue keeping them together, though, is the reader who’s been in both of their lives as long as they can remember and is the only other sorcerer around that rivals their skill.

they’ve both loved you for as long as they can remember too, but there’s always been something about sukuna in particular. he’s rougher around the edges, and is more inclined to make you mad than michizane is (you have that regal upbringing to thank for that), but for every argument, there’s a tender touch. For every eye roll, there’s a longing glance.

you’re so caught up in his that you never notice the ones from michizane too.

your relationship isn’t really a surprise. nor is the engagement or pregnancy announcement that follows. it causes a lot of stir all the same though - two of the most powerful sorcerers coming together is bound to send ripples in friendly and enemy circles alike.

unfortunately for you, the returning tide is too fast for you to see coming.

can you imagine if it wasn’t even curses that attacked you? but cursed users of a different sorcerer faction trying to break your union because the two of you together would ruin any plans they had for taking over the jujutsu world?

you manage to survive the attack, but your unborn child does not and the loss sends you both in a spiral. with everything you know about how curses are created, you do a good job of accepting the loss without denying yourself a period of mourning. sukuna, on the other hand, just...spirals. He can’t see you sad, hurt without feeling rage --- add to that the loss of a baby and you get hatred, fury, bloodlust.

he becomes so obsessed with revenge and retribution that he slips further and further away until he’s gone altogether. 

he swears he’s doing everything he is for you though - this crusade against jujutsu sorcerers. he tells himself it’s the only way you can be happy together, the only way he can know for sure that no one else will hurt you: to kill them all.

and even when you plead with him otherwise, he has his mind set. he will not stand down.

shift gears and that’s where you get you and michizane growing closer in this rough time - you crying to him about how to draw sukuna back from the edge (though, really, he’s already long past it). He doesn’t say it out of care and love for you, but he can’t understand why you’re even trying anymore. it’s like an unspoken agreement that sukuna has to be stopped before he ruins the world as you all know it.

but you just don’t agree. you know the man you love and you know his motivations - you think he can still be helped. 

which just makes it so upsetting that in the end, the war Sukuna starts is what kills you --- and that he has to be the one to take that light out of your eyes. :(

[barrysjumpsuit]

blindsided - oc x rafe cameron (ch. 2)

me??? posting chapters two days in a row???? (who is she)

part one

word count: 3k

warnings: abuse and mentions of past abuse, cannabis use, cocaine use, mentions of sex, plot/timing holes (just dont think abt canon too much it’s pretty loose)

synopsis:  christy is a lifelong resident of the outer banks. after a series of hookups with rafe cameron, kook royalty, she’s smitten. what she doesn’t know is about what her boyfriend and brother are involved in behind her back

a/n: really enjoying how this is coming along bc i’m totally just making it up as i go. ya boy jj makes an appearance in this one!! and BARRY!!!! next chapter has more plot i PROMISE 

 --------

The sun was about to set as Christy arrived home.

“Home” was a relative term. She lived in a trailer with a leaky roof, messy yard, and weird smell. Strange people she didn’t know were always there, and it was hard to truly feel at peace when she was there. The only thing that kept her coming back, especially after getting with Rafe, was her brother. 

Barry truly was the only thing she had left. The two of them had always been as thick as thieves – they still were, but their own respective businesses had changed them. Christy just grew and sold a bit of weed. She made a couple hundred bucks here and there, mostly targeting tourists. Barry’s dealings were much more illegal, and all the bad things that came with selling blow naturally happened at her house. 

She could hear the crackling of a fire as she rounded the corner of the trailer. Barry and a couple others sat there, whooping and hollering. “Look who finally decided to make an appearance,” she heard her brother yell. He raised a beer in the air as if to make a toast. “My favorite sister!” 

“Just making sure you’re not twitched out somewhere, B,” Christy said back, not altering her path to the door. Right as she went to pull open the screen door, someone pushed it open, stumbling out of the trailer. “Excuse you.” 

“Watch your mouth when you speak to me, little girl,” the man growled at her. 

“I’m the one who lives here,” Christy replied flatly, not budging, and the man suddenly had her pinned to the wall of the trailer, a forearm pressing against her throat. 

“Yo Luke, lay off of her!” she heard Barry call. Her hands were grabbing at Luke Maybank’s arm, her eyes forced to meet his. His pupils were blown up and delirious. “What the fuck, man!” 

Barry pried Luke off of her, and Christy leaned against the cheap railing on the front steps to catch her breath. “Get the fuck out of here,” she heard Barry tell him before he turned to her. “Bro, you good? Where have you been the past few days?” 

“I’m fine,” Christy said. Her heart felt like it was going to beat through her chest. Barry reached out to grab her shoulder, but she instinctively flinched away. “I’ve been staying with someone.” 

She was aware of Barry watching her as she pulled open the screen door and went into the trailer. It was hot and stuffy. Inevitably, somewhere, something was growing mold, and they would have to deal with it like they had to almost every other time a storm knocked out power. It made her feel guilty as hell, knowing she was staying with Rafe in his kook mansion, while her brother was stuck here, alone, with whatever coked out friends he had with him. 

After deciding there was nothing she wanted to eat, Christy made her way through the messy living room and down the hallway to her bedroom. She kept the door locked. Fishing the key out of her back pocket, she unlocked the padlock and stepped into her bedroom. 

Her plants were moved hastily in front of her window, since the power knocked out the lights they normally sat under. They took up most of the space in her bedroom, and they also occupied her parent’s old bedroom. Christy couldn’t be bothered to water them; she just took off her shirt and laid on her bed, sweaty and with nothing to do. 

She rolled over, pulling out an already loaded bowl and lighter from her nightstand. Pushing herself up, Christy brought the pipe to her lips and lit up, breathing deeply and bringing the smoke into her lungs. She blew out a thick cloud, almost having to cough. The greens were strong but tasted good. She took another hit, then another, before leaning back and closing her eyes. 

It was almost unnerving to think about how quickly she had fallen for Rafe. They sporadically hooked up throughout the past couple years. A lot of times they were each other’s rebound. Other times, it was at parties. Despite being from the Cut, Christy was often welcome at kook parties, going where her brother wouldn’t dare going to move product. She didn’t like having a middle man. Grow, harvest, sell, consume. That’s how she liked her bud to go. 

She knew Barry and Rafe had a history. But Barry has beef with a lot of people, and so did Rafe. Christy didn’t side with either. Rafe hadn’t paid Barry enough, failing to hold his end of the deal. But Barry had ripped Rafe off, knowing his family had more than enough money to repay him. It spiralled from there until they fought and beat each other an inch from death. Since then, Rafe had cleaned up his act as well as sobered up, and she hadn’t seen him at her place since. It was better that way. She didn’t have to worry about the crossover between her relationship with him and her relationship with her brother. 

Barry was a shitty person. Everyone knew that. He moved more cocaine than anyone else on the island. It was impossible for him to hold onto a relationship for more than a week or two. He had a temper, and a mouth and fists to back it up. Despite this, Christy knew he was her lifeline, and she was his. Whenever they had to run errands or go anywhere on the island, they tried to go together. Safety in numbers. 

Both of them had people that hated them. 

Barry more so than Christy, but they both had enemies. It was just how the politics of drug dealing worked. Christy mainly targeted tourists, playing her cards smartly. In and out, one and done. She premeasured the bud into $10 bags, or as joints using cigarettes. It was a big hit. At each kegger she went to, she could usually pull two or three hundred bucks. 

Christy took another hit before inspecting her pipe. A friend of hers had blown and crafted it for her birthday this past winter. It was a swirling design of pinks, yellows, and oranges. It looked like a sunset; every night, she would smoke on their west-facing dock and watch the sunset. 

Except tonight. The sky was dark by the time she made her way outside. Barry was no longer by the fire, which was dying. Two of his buddies were still there, laughing at something funny only to them. Christy walked past them, down the dock and onto their little boat. She sat down next to Barry, their shoulders lightly touching on the small bench seat. 

Her mind was still racing, and she lit her bowl again. “You’re not going to that kook party tonight?” Barry asked, his voice still with its disinterested tone. 

“Nah. With the power out I’m not sure how much bud I’m going to able to get through this. They need light to grow.” 

“I’ve been rotatin’ them in front of the windows for you. And watering them,” Barry said. She could tell he was coming down from a high he had likely been riding all day. 

Christy could also tell he brought this up for a reason. 

“How much short are we?” she asked quietly. “I can see if I can pick up extra shifts.” 

He shook his head beside her before putting his head in his hands. “I don’t know man, but we’re short. Fuckin’ Agatha fucked us over, man. I can’t get any more for another couple weeks and I don’t have much left.” 

“A lot of mine won’t be ready to harvest for a few weeks. Shit, B, why didn’t you tell me?” 

“It’s not like you were here,” he said. His words stung, and I knew he was right. “It’s not like you’re ever here anymore except to smoke pot.” 

“Barry,” Christy said, trying to be as stern as possible. “I’ve been working every fucking day. Agatha scared people away, so I’m not making good tips. It’ll bounce back soon, okay? I’ll make ends meet. Every time I come home you’re just blitzed to high heaven off your own product. You’re as guilty as I am.” 

Her brother’s shoulders shook with a laugh, and he wiped his nose with a forearm while she took another hit. “I suppose so. You’ve got something on your neck, by the way. Who’s that from?” 

Christy stiffened and almost launched into a coughing fit, and Barry knew he caught her. He looked over at her, expecting an answer after she exhaled the smoke. “Some tourist I met the other night at a kegger. Thought he could strike a deal with me.” 

“Hmmm,” Barry mused. She couldn’t tell if he was buying it or not. “You’ve gotta be careful with them tourons and kooks, never know how they’re gonna use you.” 

The weed had hit her enough so that Barry’s words didn’t fully register in her brain. “They’re always up to something,” she agreed. The swaying of the boat underneath her was an odd feeling and she leaned back in the seat, throwing an arm on the back of the seat behind Barry. 

The stars were brilliant on the south side of the island, with no light pollution to drown them out. Two nights ago, she and Rafe sat on the roof of the Cameron house, looking at the same sky, but the lights were so bright you could see only a handful of the stars. 

It was the simplicity of being a pogue that Christy liked. She didn’t have to worry about her social life or schedule outside of work. She didn’t have to worry about her image. She didn’t have to worry about businesses or making people happy or petty things that Rafe worried about. She could do what she wanted, when she wanted.

With the sky stretching endlessly above her, she felt like she was inside a dome. Like she was in a snowglobe. Agatha was the shake, mixing everything and everyone up. Now, the snowflakes were settling into new positions. Some were unstable, perched on plastic trees or people or houses, bound to fall to the ground. Some were already on the ground, back to their original positions. Others still, small little pieces of glitter, swirled around in the liquid inside. 

She didn’t want to inevitably settle back into her old life. It was too mindless and mundane. Wake up, work at The Wreck, sell weed to tourists, hook up with random people. It was repetitive. Christy wanted something with meaning and risk. What was the view like, perched on top of the tallest tree in the snowglobe? Sure, it had potential to fall back to the ground like all the other pieces of snow. But there was also potential to stay there, seeing things no one else could and experiencing something it hadn’t experienced before. 

Maybe Rafe was her tree. Holding her up with supportive branches, his roots deep into the soil of Tannyhill. He was here to stay, at least for now. 

Maybe it was Christy’s turn to join him.

--

By four in the afternoon, Christy was done with her day. 

She woke up early, tending to her plants before locking up the two rooms and heading to work. The morning shifts were her favorite. Less asshole tourists and more local residents. Christy knew them well, making polite small talk with the older people and getting plenty of tips. Working at The Wreck was nice. It gave Christy a sense of anonymity, making her feel less like a pogue and more like a normal person. For her work shifts she cleaned up nicely, interacting with people who didn’t know about her relation to Barry or her side hustle. 

After Christy clocked out for the afternoon after her ten hour shift, she shouldered her backpack and lazily threw her apron over one shoulder. Under her work clothes she wore her swimsuit, ready for an afternoon of surfing with Rafe and his friends. 

Stepping outside into the bright sun, she saw Kiara talking with her friends. Christy liked Kiara – she was one of her closer friends, but their relationship didn’t touch the bond she had with those three boys. Christy was friendly enough with them, and she gave them a wave as she walked past. 

“Hey, Christy!” 

A voice called out behind her and she turned around to see JJ jog up to her. John B rolled his eyes as he left the group to follow Christy. “Yeah, JJ?” she asked. 

“Hey, uh, we’re going to have a kegger at the Boneyard tonight, if you’d like to come. I’d like to do some business with you.” 

“How much you want?” Christy asked, ignoring any euphemisms people often use when asking for weed. “You better claim yours now, I’m running low.” 

“You and everyone else on the island,” JJ said, smiling. “Five grams?” 

“You got it, I can bring it to you tonight.” Christy pulled her cigarette carton from her pocket, taking one out and lighting it. “By the way, tell your father it’s rude to assault people at their own home and my brother doesn’t want to see him again for some time.” 

JJ’s face dropped. “What did he do? Did he hurt you?” 

She blew out the smoke before answering. “Pinned me against a wall. Nothing that hasn’t happened before, but… B’s stressed out and it won’t be good for either of them or for us if he sees him any time soon.” Christy lowered her voice slightly. “If he needs any blow, let me know and I can be a middle man. Okay?” 

“He’s a piece of shit,” JJ muttered, not answering her question. 

“JJ,” Christy said sternly, and JJ’s wandering eyes returned to meet hers. “Give him my contact information. I’ll deal with it so you don’t have to. Okay?” 

“He’s not your problem,” JJ said, but Christy knew she got through to him as good as she could. “Thanks, Christy. I’ll see you tonight?” 

“You got it,” Christy answered, giving him a playful salute with the hand that held her cigarette. At that, they turned away from each other and she started off to where she told Rafe she would meet him to go surfing. 

The cigarette gave her a slight buzz. It felt like a warm hug, enveloping her. That little bit of pep was what she needed, coming off an early morning and long shift. Pretty soon, the pavement turned into sand, and she could see several figures ahead holding surf boards. 

“How was work, baby?” Rafe asked as she walked up to them. He pulled her into a kiss before she could answer. Christy’s hands rested on his bare shoulders, standing on her tiptoes in the sand to reach his lips. 

“It was good,” she replied. “Glad I’m here and not there, though.” 

Kelce fake gagged at her words, and Rafe rolled his eyes at him. “Fuck off, Kelce,” Rafe said, kicking sand towards him. Rafe was wearing his sea foam green board shorts, the color glowing against his tanned skin. 

“He’s just jealous,” Christy cooed, walking away from Rafe to give Kelce a hug. “It’s okay Kelce, I love you too.” 

“Oh wait a second, was that the L word?” Topper asked, breaking Christy and Kelce apart. Topper looked from Christy to Rafe, raising his eyebrows. 

Christy looked at Rafe, who jumped in. “Sure was, Top,” he said nonchalantly. “Now can we shut the fuck up and get into the water?” 

Kelce gave Christy a confused look at Rafe’s short temper, and Christy just shrugged. They had brought her board, which she left at Rafe’s house. After taking off her clothes, much to the boys’ delight, she slipped the band around her ankle and the four of them started towards the water. 

It was a good evening for waves. The water was refreshing, and it was nice to do something normal after Agatha. Rafe’s idea of a date defaulted to a ride on the Druthers, as if to wow her, followed by expensive wine and sex on the boat. It was nice, and she enjoyed it, but Christy had had sex on plenty of boats and it was never her favorite thing.

Surfing with Rafe and his friends was much more up her alley. She was a good surfer, and Rafe knew it. While they were on the water, Topper and Kelce gave him shit for having his ass owned by hers. Christy countered right back, pointing out that she was also owning their asses. It gave her a small victory: something she was better at than the kooks.

They tired quickly, and Christy mentioned the kegger at the Boneyard. “Bring Sarah, it’ll be like a double date,” she told Topper, much to Kelce’s dismay. “And Kelce, look at you. You’re gorgeous, all wet and glistening and half naked. Just stand in the water like that tonight and the girls will be all over you. I’ll make it my personal mission to find you someone.” 

The kooks were never one to turn down a party, especially one with easy pickings for both fights and girls. Topper called Sarah while they were walking back to Rafe’s truck; they put their boards in the bed and Christy climbed into the front seat, while Topper and Kelce crammed into the back of the cab. 

“She’ll come,” Topper reported. Rafe dropped off Kelce before driving to the Cameron estate.

Topper left to find Sarah, while Rafe took Christy to his bedroom. “Can I shower?” she asked, and he nodded. 

The Camerons had hot running water. Another thing she didn’t have on the Cut. It brought up those conflicting emotions again, as she remembered hearing Barry grumble about not being able to shower, which was a very non-Barry thing to complain about. Christy had insisted he use some of the distilled water she had for her plants, but he refused. 

She would have to swing back home before the party tonight to get weed, both for JJ and the tourists. Not much was left – she wanted some to keep for herself, but she needed money. 

Christy really didn’t want Rafe anywhere near her place. 

She just had to hope Barry was out, and that no one was there, or things could get bad.

----

taglist (reply, reblog, or ask to be added!!!) @stargazingstarkey @letsgofullkook @macchiatohno @ampanonyg @hoeforpankow @jjsmentalpolaroids @drewstarkey @obbx-tings @bricksatanakinswindow

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

omg congratulations on 300!!! you totally deserve it, i mean honestly your blog is amazing 🎉🎉💘

could i request both star and crystal match ups since i love the both ideas. you don't have to do both, and if you do i think it would be too much if you made one post for both...anywho...

for my crystal match up: i honesty think you know a lot about my personality from my requests at this point but we not gon talk abt that so i am a BIG empath like sometimes i even act like people around me, idk i just observe others and maybe take in what they do. also i love making people happy, like giving them random gifts and them getting surprised and happy abt it and I'm like 🥰🥰🥰💓💓 unfortunately i tend to stress a lot about school and stuff that probably don't even matter, and it might be a problem...and bottling up my emotions is probably not the best coping mechanism...also I'm an ENFP if that helps

for my star match up: I'm a pisces and my self ship would definitely have to be kuroo or atsumu

that's all ly!

𝔸/ℕ- 𝕀 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕓𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕓𝕠𝕥𝕙! 𝔹𝕦𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕚𝕥𝕤 𝕥𝕠𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕥 😅 𝕤𝕠 𝕀’𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕣𝕪𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕝 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕦𝕡 𝕠𝕟 𝕒 𝕕𝕚𝕗𝕗𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕥 👀

𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣 𝕄𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕦𝕡 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝔸𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕦

𝑃𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑒𝑡𝑠 🪐

Libra is ruled by Venus (Love) and Pisces is ruled by Jupiter (Luck) and Neptune (Illusions).

These Signs are quite compatible due to the feminine energies of Venus and Neptune working in tandem.

Under Jupiter and Neptune’s rule, Pisces is intensely meditative, philosophical and internal.

Under Venus’s influence, Libra is in love with love. Libra is the Sign of Partnership and always is more comfortable when in an intimate love affair.

𝐸𝑙𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 🔥💧🍃🌬

Libra is an Air Sign and Pisces is a Water Sign.

These two Signs together combine their heads and their hearts to solve all problems — a winning combination.

The best decisions are made with both the emotions and the intellect; this relationship tends to be extremely flexible and progressive.

When problems occur, however, the communication breaks down between Libra and Pisces. Libra, who can at times be mentally manipulative, may give Pisces ‘the silent treatment.’ In this partnership there’s always an undercurrent of friction but neither partner will ever truly be the leader.

Although they may disagree often, their differences of opinion don’t last long.

Their only real trouble may result from their tendency to slow down to the point of stopping when they get together.

𝑇𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡 🤞

They will not understand each other well enough to share much trust.

The need Libra has to be accepted and liked by other people will be wrongly interpreted by Pisces, for they don’t understand how can someone’s self-confidence be that low.

That sparkly, always in love, childish, flirty nature of Pisces will be a huge turn off for Libra, who will not be able to trust someone who openly shows their interest in other people.

The only way for these partners to remain in a trusting relationship is to approach it casually and build their understanding and trust from zero, as if they have never had any relationships prior to this one.

𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 🤝

In many cases, Libra will cherish the optimism and the childish naïve nature of their Pisces partner.

Unfortunately, they will often want to help them grow and change who they are so they could be “happier”.

The problem here is in the fact that Libra doesn’t know or try to understand what would make Pisces truly happy.

This is some basic disrespect and it could ruin the foundation of their entire relationship.

The main challenge here is to remain in a respectful bond, however crazy Pisces might seem to their Libra partner, or however stiff and boring Libra might seem to Pisces.

Their communication can be inspiring for as long as they don’t try to change each other, explain to each other how they should think or feel in certain situations, or even worse, teach each other how to behave.

Pisces partner can be quite direct and spontaneous and this might endanger the image Libra is trying to maintain in the eyes of others.

If they find each other’s actions inspiring in any possible way, they might reach a point in which they will truly communicate without judgment.

𝐸𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 😠😔😊

Their emotional connection is mostly presented through the adoration of Venus in the sign of Pisces.

This is an everlasting love waiting to happen, and the kind that could be born between these partners in case they both overcome their ego.

It will be a rare occurrence and their rationalities will weigh them down, for Libra does exalt Saturn, and Pisces are ruled by Jupiter.

Their minds will probably be filled with all sorts of irrelevant information until they decide that it is simply too hard for them to be together.

If they pass the point of disrespect and set strong boundaries, nurturing each other’s individuality and self-sufficiency, they might reach the point of emotional interaction.

As if they didn’t have enough challenges, this will usually happen at a different time.

Libra will rush into an emotional showoff, realizing that they have found love, but Pisces will not feel any love until all the dust settles and they have the time to close their eyes and feel.

If their timing is off, they will probably end their relationship on good terms, not expecting much from each other in the future.

𝑉𝑎𝑙𝑢𝑒𝑠 🤲

They will both value love and this is something that will connect them over everything else.

With Venus at focus, they will both need to be loved and cherish those who know how to show it, hot to enjoy life, food ,and how to make their loved ones satisfied.

This could give them a strong foundation for a relationship if they are attracted to each other in the first place.

The rest of their characters will differ greatly and while Libra will value consistency and stability

Pisces will value spontaneity and one’s ability to follow their heart. If they both believe that they have a mission here on Earth, and it happens that their missions cross paths, they could inspire each other to fight for what they value most – their names in the stars.

𝑆ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝐴𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑡𝑦𝑠 💪

Indecisive Libra is exactly what their Pisces partner doesn’t need in order not to feel completely lost in life and all of their chosen activities.

The problem here is that by the time Libra decides if they want to do something or not

Pisces will change their minds five times, not sure if this is the best thing for them, for their relationship, for their life’s purpose and mission, etc.

The questioning of Libra will raise suspicions in Pisces with painful ease.

They will manage to find activities they will both like, and if nothing else works they can always turn to any sort of art.

The real question is – will they want to do anything while they are together?

They could drain so much strength and confidence out of each other just trying to make a plan for the night.

𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦 💕

Libra and Pisces have a meeting point in the beauty of Venus.

Still, they perceive it in two different ways and they will often not respect each other enough to find the beauty of Venus in one another.

They could have real trouble adjusting to their partner’s speed, and the mutable quality of Pisces often won’t help them open up any faster to build a relationship in the pace that would fit their Libra partner.

Both Libra and Pisces can selflessly be interested in the satisfaction of their partner, and this should help them stay on the good side of their relationship whatever happens between them.

If they move past the disrespect and the unrealistic expectations from each other’s personalities, they might find that they share real love.

[steponmepinkjun]

I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

[lemongogo]

hey im the anon abt gyutaro/ume and i dont remember what happens to demons after they die ?? did i miss smth ? regardless i wanna ask what do you think their fate should be ? cause on one hand i think they're just victims of a cruel world who took the first way out they could find but on the other hand it doesnt rlly justify all the slaughter, and i also think abt the demon slayers who also suffered horrible fates and used it to fuel their determination to save other people from that pain

hi !! i don’t think kny ever explicitly mentions what happens to demons after they die (as in we never have concrete evidence of where they go or how their lives after are spent), but i think the general consensus is that the demons go to hell. 

in some cases, the family can decide to go with them (ex: rui and i think akaza? if i remember correctly?) but their fate is pretty much sealed from that point forward i believe. 

heres a pic of gyuutarou and ume, actually, in chapter 97 !!

but yeah !! thats something i think about a lot tbh. as you mentioned, many of the demons we’ve seen have either been groomed into demonhood (rui, ume, susamaru, etc.) or had their pain and suffering exploited (akaza, gyuutarou) for the sake of advancing other demons’ plans (muzan, douma, etc). so i agree ! a lot of these characters are unfortunate victims in themselves and its impossible to view their stories without incorporating the struggles they’ve had to face as both humans AND demons. especially considering that lots of these individuals experience muzan’s abuse regardless of their status relative to him (such as with the upper and lower moons). i think this is best explained through akaza’s relationship with muzan,

(ch. 67)

(ch.156)

and further explored though tanjiro’s observation of rui’s death. he notes that being a demon, for most, is an existence punctuated by extreme grief and despair, and that’s equally supported, i think, by the humanization of these demons following death. that their original conscious is restored (albeit with knowledge of everything they’ve done) and are oftentimes plagued by the guilt of what’s happened.

(ch.43)

what he says here is probably what sums it up for me. that while it’s important to condemn these demons and hold them accountable for the truly awful things they’ve done, it’s also important to consider the suffering they've experienced through existence alone. its so !! complex !! and thats what i love about kny. i love how .. you have some demons who are entirely despicable and bask in the carnage they create, but you also have some for whom demonhood was simply what appeared to be the only answer towards living a healthier life or righting the wrongs that’ve been done to them (usually with false promises and manipulation unbeknownst to them). and .. its so hard to figure out where to.. draw that line. or view these characters at least. because you sympathize with their pain, but you also realize that their actions have caused endless pain for many hundreds of people. tanjiro losing his entire family, giyuu losing his. shinobu watching her sister die before her very eyes, and kanao the same. the ubuyashiki family’s curse or the slaughter of himejima’s children. you look at characters like sanemi, shinobu, or giyuu and understand that you cannot invalidate their view of demons either. while kanae and tanjiro may find hope and humanity in demons, they exist as monsters who feast on pain to everyone else. its important not to discredit their perspective when making a personal choice to observe the demons’ hardships yknow. shinobu’s anger is just as warranted as tanjiro’s optimism and that neither are wrong for how they personally feel demons should be handled after death. 

im like. AAAAAAAA theres so much to it , its really hard for me to condense into a few sentences AHAHA im so sry for making u read this if u still are. but . i guess i’m not too sure. i think maybe, had i experienced the same pain as those above, it would be easy for me to say the demons deserve to go to the worst hell imaginable regardless of what they’ve gone through because that history isn’t accessible to everyone like it has been the audience (or that they’ve seemingly made the conscious decision to cause harm w/o understanding the ways in which demonhood obscures their original conscious/morality). but at the same time, you have those like tanjiro whose world view is shaped by positive encounters with demons like nezuko, tamayo, yushirou, etc. where it seems very evident that . theres more to it than what meets the eye. 

one of my friends ive talked to about this had a rly good perspective on it thats kinda stuck with me since !! she said she likes to view their conclusion as some . separation of identity?? if that makes sense?? that the demon side of them goes to hell while their human form goes to heaven (or division into whichever afterlife). and !! i think thats a really neat interpretation because there’s obvious descrepancy between demon personas and human personas. that the demon personas are like. exaggerations of their flaws, almost (akaza becoming hellbent on battle spirits and physical victories when hajuki’s fury & determination was fueled by love in a sense) while their human personas are the truest sense of self. and depending on which influence there is (muzan vs the appearance of loved ones), their identity changes accordingly. so ! idk ! thats one nice way of looking at it. holding their demon personas accountable while also recognizing that many of these characters deserve some form of healing after many hundreds of years of abuse. its hard because ofc i don’t want to negate the harms they’ve caused but its also? not cut and dry given the environment they were placed in and the fact that muzan’s blood essentially removes their humanity against their will you know. so in this way at least you have both forms of self receiving the proper conclusion. 

whwhwhw so im. !!!!!!!!!!!! ah !! i can’t say i have a definite answer but i think the one above is smth thats comforting to me. i think the story settles with sending them to hell once they’ve regained their past self but also .. “softens” it by providing them company by their loved ones who are willing to go w them?? so thats rly cool to look at too. because it holds them accountable for all that’s happened but also.. recognizes that they’re not wholly responsible for it either and that .. even in hell they’re able to keep their connections and human emotions/experiences . its tragic yet oddly. fitting, i think, of the kny narrative. while i like the aforementioned interpretation, i also really.. appreciate the way its set up in canon too. like yeah i want the best for them but also. it fits in with the tragic nature of demonhood and what it meant for them all. oddly enough. 

u make a good point too !! about demon slayers experiencing the same hardships but using their pain to help others. i think a lot of it is plainly chalked up to luck in terms of.. what they were exposed to following tragedy. how shinobu and kanae were saved by himejima, tanjiro saved by giyuu, kanao picked up by shinobu and kanae, sanemi given the guidance of kagaya while akaza was killed by muzan during his lowest moment, ume and gyuutarou were cornered by douma, rui misled by muzan, etc. i think circumstance is definitely a large factor in determining the paths that were taken. such as sanemi’s anger being validated and heard by ubuyashiki vs, say, akaza’s same anger being intentionally exploited for muzan’s gain.

aaa anyways. theres a lot 2 be said about this. like. SO much on my mind and obviously the extent of muzan’s abuse goes far deeper than what’s briefly mentioned here but.  i love talking about the complexities of kny . and how i view the demons vs the corps and how each of them have grown into their respective stories . AA but ill end it here THNK U >> also so sry for making u read thru all of this i get so excited i could talk abt kny all day long if i had the chance AAA 

[tdystmr]

college student! jackson x sugar daddy! mark // sugar daddy x baby socmed au

b a c k g r o u n d i n f o 🍓

jackson is THE popular kid despite him having his own set of financial problems. he lives with a foster family because his parents died in a car accident when he was 11, but still grew up to be a well-mannered, cheerful boy

mature 21 year old who knows his strenghts and weaknesses. very motivated and hard working, but tends to fall for the bad type rather than good influences. is also too nice and sweet to point out other’s mistakes and flaws so he usually goes along with whatever his friends do. has always wanted to move out because as much as he loves his foster family, he knows that they struggle with their own swt of problems as well and feels like a burden now that college fees are piling up

mark is a millionaire, successful bachelor at the fine age of 29. recognised for his success in starting and building his own business at 22, took him only 7 years to reach his current success of a multi-million enterprise in Seoul trading and exporting goods.

is a very mysterious figure to the press because he is extremely private about his life outside of work. lives alone, has no known dating history, only known family is his family in USA ands seems to be completely disinterested in relationships under than a tight-knit group of friends. the press would love to get some dirt on this successful businessman.

jjp are mark’s close friends and a power couple of Korea ( lgbtq+ rs are supported in korea in this au ) and have always wanted him to look for a partner. yugyeom, mark’s other close friend, also wants him to not be so lonely anymore since he’s pushing 30 already.

meanwhile, youngjae + bambam are jackson’s best friends. youngjae’s fam is jackson’s foster fam while the three of them all attend Seoul University tgt. they’re close friends because they all share an interest in music and just enjoy each other’s company. they’re the same age in this au, so they met at the usual freshmen orientation drinking session and bambam almost puked on jackson’s crotch. ever since then, they’ve been inseparable.

youngbam are also well known in the school - youngjae for performing on stage every year at the annual talent show while bambam is known for his cool style and being the vice president of the dance club.

p l o t 🍓

jackbamjae are joking arnd in their gc abt life after college when jackson finally tells them his plan to move out of his foster home after they finish their second year of college. yj ofc objects because he doesn’t see js as a burden, but respects jackson’s decision because js insists.

bambam suggests a sugar daddy website to get money. ofc, both of the other two question him on how he got to know such a site existed. he tells them that ten ( pres of the dance club ) got to know his bf through this site. bam tells them that it isn’t super shady or wtv and the men aren’t so bad at all

js says wtv and gives it a go, so he signs up with the help of bamjae. he has a basketball friendly match, so he rushes off after that

at the same time, mark’s bday is approaching. jjgyeom are planning a surprise for him and hopefully, it’ll include some sort of a date that mark will agree to go on. yugyeom had also come across the sugar daddy website by simply lurking on the nsfw side of the internet and jjp have learnt not to question him too much on what he does in his free time.

he found js’s profile and knowing mark’s type, immediately suggested the idea to jjp. jb, who’s been mark’s longest friend, says that mark might not completely be opposed to it because he knows that mark has been stressed lately and a way to let out that frustration would be good. jy, on the other hand, cautions that mark might not like the idea because mark is the kind of guy to value genuine relationships over meaningless hookups, not to mention paying someone for sex and whatnot. despite that, the three arrive at mark’s place on the night of his bday to surprise him

yg suggests the idea to mark after they’ve all had some dinner and mark obv gets mad at first. he says exactly what jy had said, but calms down after jjgyeom explain that they’ve all been worried about how he’s coping and don’t want him to be alone and stressed anymore. mark sees that his friends have good intentions and decides to give it a go, starting the convo with jackson over the website that night after all his friends have left

after about a week of weird dms and some actually good interactions over the site, jackson is about to give up because he hasn’t found anyone truly interested in talking and not just sex. then, he gets mark’s dm

the two hit it off immediately and they end up texting till 3am. they exchanged socmed accounts before they went to bed as well, and js decides to tell bamjae in the morning abt it.

they obv know who the hell mark tuan is and are freaking out over this. jackson rmbs that mark had told him not to spread this and realises that’s the reason why. he warns bamjae not to tell anyone, even their other close friends. bamjae suggest for him to keep texting and to even meet mark on the weekend.

they meet and it goes well and stuff, them slowly establishing their own sort of relationship. they’re more platonic than sexual most of the time, but they do look for each other when they’re horny and in need of release

one day, the press captures mark waiting for js after school at seoul uni + js getting into his car. they post an article with a caption insinuating that mark has a secret relationship, which he fires down with an instagram post about invading his privacy and posting false rumours. he does this because he’s scared that js might be affected.

js is affected, because he realises that he doesn’t mind being in a genuine relationship with mark at all. he tells bamjae ofc, and they help him to realise that he might have developed feelings for the older man. he freaks out because that isn’t part of the deal of being a sugar baby but he doesn’t want to cut mark off either

it’ll end happily, definitely, but the angst will come right after this and i hope it’ll be good :<

e x t r a c t f r o m f i r s t c o n v o 🍓

Yien_duan_

Hey, is this Wangpuppy825?

Wangpuppy825

that’s me! you can call me jackson ☺️

Yien_duan_

Oh, okay sure. I’m Mark. How old are you again?

Wangpuppy825

i’m 21 this year 🤩 wbu?

Yien_duan_

I’ve just turned 30

What’s your major in college?

Wangpuppy825

just? when’s your birthday? 🧐

i major in Sports science studies at SNU

Yien_duan_

4 september

Woah, you sound like a pretty smart kid

Wangpuppy825

oh, belated birthday mark hyung 🥳🥳

i can call you that, right 🥺

also, i’m not that smart hahah i just study hard 😌

Yien_duan_

Yeah, hyung is fine

Thank you, by the way :)

Wangpuppy825

no prob, hyung ☺️

quick qn though, do you look really old?

Yien_duan_

Ummm.....no?

Wangpuppy825

do you mind sending a pic 😖

i’m sorry if this sounds weird it’s just i’ve gotten lots of dms from 50 year olds posing as 20-30 year olds and it’s creepy 😳

Yien_duan_

Okay but you can’t tell anyone about this, okay?

Wangpuppy825

why? is it embarrassing for you 😮

Yien_duan_

[image attached]

It’s not really about being embarrassed, I guess

Wangpuppy825

omg

Yien_duan_

Why?

Wangpuppy825

you look so hot wtf 🥵

and you look so young????? you look my age 😳😳

god is unfair for making you so pretty 😤

Yien_duan_

Oh

You mean you...

Wangpuppy825

i...???

Yien_duan_

Oh, nothing hahah

I’m just surprised you think I look good because well...

You’re really cute, Jackson :<

Wangpuppy825

wow okay you have no idea how different it feels to hear that from a hot person rather than just my friends hyping me up 😳😳😳

Yien_Tuan

Your friends? Did they persuade you to do this?

Y’know, my friends actually set me up with you as sort of a birthday present

Wangpuppy825

oh? then i guess i should thank them 😳

and yes, my friends did persuade me to do this hhahaha

Yien_Duan_

Thank my friends? What for?

Your friends did a good job with the basketball pictures. I think those were what made my friend Yugyeom choose you

Wangpuppy825

thank them for setting me up with such a hottie 🥵

oh! you play?

Yien_Duan_

Ahh, you’re making me embarrassed... 😳

Yeah, I played when I was in college in USA

Wangpuppy825

omg you used an emoji for the first time 🥰

usa? you’re a foreigner too?

Yien_Duan_

Hahah, I don’t really use emojis because I’m used to texting formally at work 😅

Wow, it feels like we’ve got a lot in common huh

Wangpuppy825

use them more 🥺

it does! you’re probably the most interesting person i’ve met on this site the whole week 😌😌

Yien_Duan_

Then I’m honoured I got your attention first :)

Tell me more about yourself? Unless you’ve got to go to bed already

Wangpuppy825

oh, no no hahah

i usually sleep way past midnight so this is fine 🤩

anyway, who would be crazy enough to turn down a conversation with someone like you 😖😖

Yien_Duan_

Flirtatious, are we?

Wangpuppy825

only because you’re adorable 🥰

t a g s 🍓

sugar daddy x sugar baby au

social media au

possessive mark

switch jackson

dominant mark

sexting / nudes

fluff / angst / smut

college student! jackson

friends with benefits-ish to lovers

[mothercetrion]

Falling

Summary: Takeda has started to date one of the members of his new team. Hanzo is more than thrilled to hear all about it.

Characters: Takeda Takahashi, Scorpion (Hanzo Hasashi); mentioned Jacqui Briggs

Word Count: 1615

Request: “hanzo listening encouragingly to takeda gush abt jacqui for the requests please? :)”

first fic of 2020 is for you, anon!!! enjoy :) (warning: hanzo mentions harumi for like 5 seconds and its kinda sad but i promise this whole thing is very sweet)

———

It was Takeda’s first visit to the Shirai Ryu garden since deciding to join a team with the Special Forces. He had spoken to Hanzo whenever he came to the base for any reason, neglecting to meet all of his team but one single time, and it had been so hectic in the recent weeks that Takeda had not been able to find the time to see Hanzo.

He arrived during the evening, when training had winded down for the day and all members of the Shirai Ryu were doing as they pleased. Upon arriving, he waved at many that he recognized, but he urged all of them to keep his arrival quiet. He wanted to surprise Hanzo with his visit, so keeping everyone quiet was important. All members were quick to oblige and pointed to the back garden, where Hanzo was meditating.

With silent steps, Takeda stepped through the garden and spotted Hanzo nearly immediately. He was visible through the doorway of a building, kneeling on the floor. His back was to Takeda, but he heard footsteps and rose to his feet. Takeda could not help but smile when he stepped out of the building and through the doorway, staring at Takeda in shock.

“Can I join you, sir?” Takeda called, his smile growing.

Hanzo did not reply with words, but his actions were telling enough. He showed a rare grin and walked down the steps of the building, and he approached Takeda with quick steps and opened his arms. A hug. A rare hug. Takeda was quick to take up on the offer, and happiness filled him instantly. “I’ve missed you, Master Hasashi,” he said kindly.

“And I have equally missed you, Takeda.” Hanzo ended the hug and held Takeda by his shoulders, his grin remaining. “I see your schedule has allowed a visit. I want to hear everything about the Special Forces over tea.”

And that is exactly what happened. Hanzo set up some tea in the garden, where they sat and prepared their tea. After Takeda made his own, Hanzo looked at him with a small smile. “I hope that Cage has given you proper training. I will be displeased otherwise.”

Takeda shook his head. “Oh, no, he has. He’s a great mentor. He has his wisecracks, of course.”

Hanzo shook his head. “It would not be Cage without them.” Hanzo gathered his own ingredients and began his preparations. “So run by me one more time who is on your team. I have already met Cassandra and have known her for an extremely long time.”

“She told me that she knew who you were,” Takeda mentioned, taking a sip of his tea. “She’s taken on a leadership position because of General Blade.”

“Is she performing well?”

“Absolutely.” Takeda laughed to himself. “She butts heads with someone in the group. Kung Jin, he’s the other boy that isn’t me.”

Hanzo thought for a moment before nodding. “I remember him vaguely. He reminds me of his uncle. I have heard a large number of rumors about their respective egos.”

“Jin has earned his to an extent. He joined the Shaolin later than most members, but he’s really good with a bow and hand-to-hand kombat. He’s definitely my best friend.” Takeda smiled. “You need to meet him. He’s great once you get to know him.”

“I have no doubts.” Hanzo took a drink of his tea and thought back. “I know there is another, but… I neglect to remember her name.”

“Oh, that’s… that’s Jacqui. Jacqueline Sonya Briggs. I know you like formalities.” Takeda could feel himself begin to blush at the thought of her.

Hanzo noted his lack of immediate explanation for who she was. He then noticed Takeda’s blushing, and his smile became mischievous. “Oh, heavens… do not tell me you like this girl?”

Takeda instantly shook his head. “Oh, no! No… No, liking her would distract me from my team. No way, Master Hasashi.”

Hanzo looked at him knowingly, and Takeda huffed. “Okay… Maybe I like this girl. Maybe.”

“I can always see your true feelings, Takeda,” Hanzo said. “If I recall, she is Jackson Briggs’s daughter, yes?”

“She is.” Takeda tilted his head. “You guys were revived at the same time, right?”

“We were,” Hanzo confirmed. “I have made contact with him, but not much. I have neglected to meet her.” He gave Takeda a small smile. “Do you have a photo of her? I know Cage gave you some sort of phone.”

“Yeah, hold on.” Takeda pulled his phone out of his uniform pocket and grinned upon unlocking it. “Perfect timing! She sent me a Snap on Snapchat.”

“A…” Hanzo hesitated a bit. “A Snap? What’s that?”

Takeda was confused for a moment before laughing. “It’s a social media thing, Master Hasashi. I’m on it with my whole team so we can communicate if we so desire.” He opened the app and showed it to Hanzo briefly. “We mostly just send pictures back and forth to one another. There are filters that can give us, ah… cat ears and big eyes and stuff. All in good fun.”

Hanzo nodded knowingly. “I see. What did she send you?”

Takeda swiped over and opened her message. He felt his breath leave his lungs at the sight of a sweet mirror selfie and a grin. The caption read, “Tell Master Hasashi that I said hello!” There was a heart at the end of the caption.

“She… She sent me a photo of herself.” Takeda turned his phone around so Hanzo could see. “She says hello.”

Hanzo admired the photo for a moment before smiling. “She is beautiful. Also…” He leaned a little closer to the phone. “Why is there a heart next to her name?”

Takeda immediately retracted his phone and inspected it. Sure enough, her name in his Snapchat had a heart next to it. He forgot he did that.

“Uh…” Takeda pocketed his phone with a nervous laugh. “Master Hasashi, I can explain—”

Hanzo chuckled softly. “No need. You two are…” He waved a hand around. “…together, are you not? And you waited until you saw me in person to share the news?”

Takeda smiled sheepishly. “You got me, Master Hasashi. I figured telling you during a brief visit would be rude. I wanted to wait until I had a chance to visit.”

“I understand. Congratulations to you both.” Hanzo took another drink of his tea and put it to the side. “It cannot have been too long.”

“Nearly six weeks,” Takeda confirmed. “Not long, but… still a great time.”

“Wonderful. The first few weeks are very thrilling. It is all about new and exciting things. The euphoria that comes with a newly-birthed relationship is often unmatched.” Hanzo rested his elbows on the table. “Tell me all about her, Takeda. What is she like?”

“She has done stuff involving the Special Forces a lot longer than I have. She and Cassie are childhood best friends, and she sees Mr. Cage and General Blade as family. She whoops me in sparring a lot, but… it’s good training.” Takeda felt himself smiling even wider as he described her. “She’s tough as nails. She gets focused on training, and it’s the only thing on her mind for days. She gets up and goes on a run every single morning, and I’ve gone running with her, and she leaves me breathless… for multiple reasons, not just because she’s faster than me.”

Hanzo could not help but chuckle as Takeda went on. “She is so smart, Master Hasashi. She knows about… vehicles, farm life, taking care of animals, math, history. I can ask her any question, and she knows the answer to it. She even knows about the Shirai Ryu’s history and the Lin Kuei’s history and realm history and… everything. She has common sense as well, and she can think logically in any situation to keep our team safe.” Takeda sighed happily as he thought. “She has a great sense of humor. She is great at comforting people and has the biggest heart of anyone I know. She’s stunning from her head to her toes. She makes me excited to try new things and go to new places, and we get to do those things together.” His cheeks reddened in a blush. “She makes me feel things I have never felt before, Master Hasashi. It is too early to call it love, but… I feel phenomenal about where this is going.”

Hanzo shook his head with a content smile. “I have never seen you gush so heavily about anything, Takeda. This is… This is very exciting.” His smile faded a tad. “I trust that you will bring her to meet me properly. She… She reminds me of the woman I married, and I mean that in the kindest way. Headstrong, a big heart, beyond her years in wisdom. I need to meet Jacqueline in person.”

Takeda felt his chest tighten with emotion. “Absolutely. Mr. Cage will probably give us a few days off soon… I will bring her by here.”

“Excellent. I will offer tea when she visits.” Hanzo continued to smile as he thought about the day they would properly meet. “Does she… Does she like tea? Would she accept if I offered her tea?”

Takeda laughed. “Yes! She loves tea. She drinks it at least once a day. She would love it if she received tea from you.”

Hanzo sighed in relief. “Good. Her happiness is of high importance to me. After all, she needs to stick around, so you remain this happy always.”

The two grinned at each other and laughed. Takeda was glad that he visited the garden that day.

[misterbitches]

i said i would talk about saizon and usually i would be under the influence. but i am not yet. read the * at end of the post first if u want clarification of overall.

i might mention torfight (will refer as f/t) but if anyone gets upset just chill. it’s a really inconsequential opinion. the chances of someone stumbling upon this means nothing. it isnt’ a compare and contrast just how i personally feel while viewing these shows. and i probably want to dive into what this means in a broader context since i have all the time and brain space in the world 

from the first encounter of saifah and zon or their first encounter outside of their “kiss” (LOL? so unnecessary) it was clear that as awkward as it could or may be there was natural chemistry. which i want my tiny head to explore.

so a lot of BL (which is like....tv and movies etc in general anyways) hell even dramas may have a less sexual undertone to get to where they are going. which i think is a problem with tv in general (a friend was bringing this up with the new rules of social distancing on set which...capitalism but whatever)  where sex is a vehicle for connection. a lot of BLs can be explicit i suppose, but in the west it’s like jumping into bed is a huge base for a lot of couples. also everyone fucks too much who cares.

but sex, kisses, hookups, any nudity, etc is not a placeholder for like actual intimacy, romantic love, showing love. that’s part of why i hate the concept of love at first sight, at least the way it plays out. you can really like someone, hell maybe even love, when you see them or feel this bond but the bond isn’t because you TOUCHED them.

there’s a difference between natural chemistry and forced. natural chemistry is what you would prefer which is why casting directors have literally chemistry tests to test your compatibility as actors, with a writer/director, and on camera. there can be people whose chemistry develops and we see the potential, or people who we know don’t love each other IRL and this is acting but it’s still powerful. but this always means you have to give them the time and space. actors can jump in/out of character but it’s human nature. if two peopl eare meeting for the first time and have to simulate sex there’s going to be this natural like...strangeness. obviously. viewers can see it.

so when you get two people who click irl and it doesn’t always have to be romantic or sexually it’s kind of more of a thrill. very obviously mii2 are a lot more flexible around each other so it is less mechanic. i think i like watching tharntype because even tho i feel like parts of it seriously need some oil, i can see and understand a relationship developing through their characters as they act (and i do not particularly think they are good actors.)

the friendship that saizon display—whether we think it is spontaneous and too quick or not—is legitimately nice. and they are very obviously comfortable with each other. i guess there can be an idea of romantic friendship (but idk abt that one, we dont have to fucking label everything you can love someone so deeply in your own way outside of our parameters bla bla capitalism ruining everything bla bla individualism)

they got in each others faces, then would do very weird shit together, because that’s who they are. for me personally i think being able to have fun with your partner is iMPERATIVE. one of my fav moments is when they fucking meow at each other (which i know is a thai joke, right? idk) and it is so weird but you can tell they understand the way they communicate?

to me  like...having someone you feel something deep with is that there’s this role you guys are playing, it’s a joke you started, and with the best kind of intimacy and love your partner can keep it going, keep it rolling, hang it up in the air and you guys just go back adn forth....forever lol 

i also legitimately think it is important to hammer home the fact that you are yourself without a partner and i really resent a message that makes it seem like you can’t live without someone. maybe a lack of saizon was good that way. like they existed as two seperate people. their love and attraction weren’t the only thing going for them. it was just natural and very nice.

this particular display of romance and affection is one that’s strong but doesn’t take itself too seriously. not because you don’t want to lose them but because there’s enough security. or like, it’s really guided by this unspeakable feeling you feel with another person. 

i’m not sure if that means soulmates but it’s something close. saifah doesn’t expect zon to be someone he can’t, but it doesn’t mean he has to let himself go completely for him. when he expressed being sad that zon pulled away it’s normal. and zon knew he couldn’t do it but they still got through it. and then he pats the bed and saifah jumps on him.

these types of couples remind me of why i feel the way i do about love. i can’t imagine something fucking bogging me down, where i feel like i can’t get up without pulling me, where i don’t feel myself first. zon was figuring himself out and he was thinking of himself and his feelings. bc he should. 

that’s another reason why trapped MC (H3) is one of my favs. first of all THEY LAUGHED TOGETHER WHICH IS LIKE A REQUIREMENT UR NO FUN IF UR A SQUARE and second of all they were going to spend year apart and could do that. had to. fuck the carceral state but. 

you don’t ask someone to give up a part of themselves, you only want them to be the best they can be. it isnt through demands it’ sgrowing with them and fucking respecting them with everything you have. and it means having a foundation outside of them, too. 

i know people get upset at the “love anybody but u have to love yourself” adage but i don’t really see it tht way. i absolutely believe you need to learn to be healthy alone and have a community. rely on all sorts of people. have different types of love and figure yourself out. we can’t be free as human beings without it and i would rather fucking die than not feel free. 

oh and like....being with someone where you feel seen and heard not shamed. i read this thing in the atlantic like, partnerships fail a lot because of lack of validation. imagine having someone who trusts you, and maybe helps to trust yourself, and validates you by being there. nice.

and it’s nice having someone you love so deeply and beautifully along for the ride. instead of no actual pleasure outside of sex, your relationship IS the pleasure. beautiful stunning etc. and that’s what makes everythign feel good the love, sex, living, whatever. with someone and with yourself.

this got away from me in conclusion theyre very cute eand that’s cos it’s easy and natural. mii2 are fun to watch as saizon and themselves. life shouldnt be too hard. im a big fan of working as little as possible and being happy kekekek

*i am talking monogamy, love, and the self. why only ‘traditional’ rships? first: i literally cannot handle people because i can’t handle my mind. non-monagamy is incredibly alluring to me for my autonomy, in the abstract, and in theory. however, in practice, i don’t think—for me as a black woman and what it means for me—i can enact anything i feel would be detrimental to me or puts me in a position where i feel forced into a dynamic i no longer care for. 

and who knows if that changes? i only do and care about the things i like and find important. no one else but me, family, and friends. how i choose. so i am talking abt monogamy but u can interpret that for other rships if you wish. 

second: it’s. my. life. 

i dont carrreeee about monogamy/non monagamy outside of liberation and sexual freedom and what does that mean?  there is no blueprint for that. there is no future expectation for a relationship, there is nothing but how we choose to interact with the world and community. first and foremost: love means so many things and it doesn’t have to mean any “new” ideas. or “instincts.” who fucking cares. we can’t reimagine literal relationships, people are fucking toxic in all types of them, only reimagine how we interact with ourselves and each other. there is no fucking guarantee with any of this we are safe. you cannot predict life. just live it. honor yourself first. there’s some black feminists books on like love and intimacy if you are curious how capitalism binds us. we keep wanting to find solutions WITHIN when its like nah, it;s our own fuckin terms. self-love becomes the love you can extract from others. it isn’t sustainable. 

ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN = JENNY HOLZER

[sheridans-boys]

Thank you for explaining it to me…..well! Here i go-

Alex could not help but panic. She felt like the world was closing in. She needed space to breath but at the same time she did not want to be alone and her heart wanted to reach out to grab an anchor before she lost herself. Her best kept secret, was suddenly exposed and her walls came crumbling down. She was panicking and sobbing in the arms of Sheridan. The events of the disasterous evening kept playing in her mind again and agian.

She and Sheridan had gone to her house to work on a project. She had thought that it would be fine as her father was out on a business trip and her step mother was usually out of the house, spending hours entertaining herself. Alex was afraid to bring Sheridan home, but this time they were working on a deadline and her house was the closest to the campus. Immersed in work, both of them lost the track of time, but finished the project just before dinner time.

Looking at the clock Alex said, “Lemme go and get something for us to snack on!! I am starving! After wrapping this up, let us go out for dinner to celebrate the completion of this evil, soul-sucking homework project!”

Sheridan laughs,enjoying her best friends joy at completing their homework,“ Sure Alex, whatever you want! But don’t let the boys hear you! I doubt that they would be happy when you compare evil with homework. That reminds me, what happened the other day when Kookie came to pick us up? I saw that you two were sort of arguing?”

*rolls eyes* “Jungkook was being annoying, Sheridan!”, Alex complains,“ I don’t know why but he suddenly beacame hostile when James came to return the book he had borrowed from me in the class. He kept glaring at him till he went away and then turned to me, and started scolding me!! Scolding!!! And me!! Going on about how I should stay away from such creatures called human boys! I told him that James was an aquintance who wanted help in class nothing more but he would not listen!!”

Sheridan laughed and said, “ He came and complained at home that you were not listening to him any more and how his fav little sister had turned rebellious! Tae and Jimin were escatic at the news and started making bets on who would your new fav as they claimed that Kook had himself to blame for that!”

Alex smiled, touched that she had found such caring people. Hearing her growling stomach, she barked a laugh and ran out of her room towards the kitchen just to collide with something. She heard something fall and shatter but when she looked up, all happiness drained out of her.

Her father was standing near a broken glass of whiskey and was glaring at her angrily. Alex felt helpless, she knew that her father was drunk and no amount of begging or pleading or apologising would stop what was going to happen. She tried her best to remain out of the way of her family, because she knew that her father hated her and only torelated her beacuse of his so called image in he society. But behind the doors, she had become intimately familiar with her father’s temper and his heavy hand. Even a slight provocation, like even being in the same room, set her father off, and he would usually blow out his fuse. Staring from verbally abusing her and then beating her senselessly with whatever he could find. Thankfully up till now, he had stopped before she could land herself in hospital but remained in constant pain the coming days. Being always happy and surrounded by friends, people could never imagine what happened behind the doors.

Today was not a good day, Alex could sense it. Seeing her father furious, she became paralysed with shock and fear, “ D-Dad….i-i am so sorry…” was all she could utter when the screaming profanities started. She felt helpless and afraid and trembled all over.

Sheridan dropped the books she was packing in shock when she heard the screaming. She rushed downstairs and was utterly shocked when she saw Alexandria’s father screaming at her and Alex just standing with hunched shoulders. Everyone who had previously met Alexandria’s father had said nothing but good words.

But Sheridan had felt something was off when she met him coz of the snide remarks he had made about demons.

When she saw him lift his hand to slap Alexandria, Sheridan felt like someone had poured cold water at her, and she rushed to intervene. Sheridan believed that regarding abuse there were three types of people in the world- The Abuser, The Abused, and the Bystander. Take even one of them out of the equation, and the world would be a happy place. Sheridan refused to be the Bystander and the determination to help her best friend out of here gave her a clarity on how to proceed. She jumped in between them and took the hit. Her father was shocked speechless and Sheridan took the opportunity to kick him in the balls hard and proceeded to drag Alex out of there. Sheridan knew that the boys would be furious on Alexandria’s behalf, coz they had come to love her too as their little sister, proclaiming that she was one of the humans who were sincere in their feelings. All of them loved spending time with Alex when they could, she could give them human company and indulged with them in their hobbies without drooling over them. Sheridan could not wait to tell the boys.

(Well, I hope that was something that you can work with author-nim! Thank you for providing me with an opportunity to write. I want to write about how the boys cuddled and comforted Alexandria, but I was not confident enough to write that out. (I screamed like a banshee when i had read Jimin saying to Alex “sweetheart, we will not……! Oh!! The FEEEELLLLLSSS!! How can I write such amazing dialogues! *pouts*) I had also imagined someone in hyung line chiding Alex coz of some self depreciating remarks she makes abt herself, but then I drew blank!!

*groans* writing is such a hard task! I definitely have a new found respect for you!! I had fun though! Please do not hold back from criticising what i have written. *puppy dog eyes* I would love to hear about how I can improve on my writing work. ‘Be my teacher’ ;)

-----

Sheridan was no fool. Not when it came to her friends and those she cared about. Sure; she was naive to a fault and often oblivious and never saw the bad in anyone when it came to herself; though thankfully the boys made sure she didn’t really have to worry about that anymore; but when it came to others? She didn’t enjoy reading body language for nothing and the way Alex would nimbly avoid meeting up at her house every time didn’t go unnoticed by her. 

She let it slide however and was ecstatic when she invited her over; figuring whatever had upset her or held her back was gone or that her situation had changed. Working on the project and their conversation came easily...they weren't best friends for nothing after all. She couldn't help but smirk as they talked about Jungkook and the others and she explained. 

Getting those boys to open up to humanity was one heck of a task; Namjoon and Hoseok especially were vehemently against it; and even Yoongi had his doubts but eventually, they all came to care about not only her but Alex as well though in more of a sibling way rather than the sexual and… dare she say romantic relationship she shared with them. But it had happened. 

 Then their easy suddenly all came to a screeching halt as Alex descended the stairs to get snacks for them. An uneasy feeling settled in her gut. When she heard something shatter that was the last straw and she hopped up; rushing downstairs just as yelling began. She shivered, feeling herself begin to tremble at words all too familiar as she flashed back to her own mother's abusive ex. She quickly got ahold of herself when she saw Alex’s father raise his hand. 

She lunged.

“Alex!!”

The loud smack of skin on skin filled the air and he looked down at her in shock and vague disgust at her presence though it quickly turned to pain as Sheridan snarled and kneed him hard like Yoongi had taught her. While he was distracted she swiftly grabbed Alex’s hand and guided her out safely; knowing it wouldn’t be long before the boys found them thanks to the harsh hit causing her cheek to bruise.

"Let's go. You're staying with me and the boys tonight." She mumbled. Once she arrived the boys were on both of them instantly as she knew they would be. 

"What the fuck happened to you two?" 

 Yoongi's voice was cold but only because he was so angry on your behalf. 

Sheridan spoke up and explained so Alex wouldn’t have to as they all got together on the couch; voice quiet and somber as she did so. Seokjin tended to her cheek despite her grumble that she was fine and it didn’t really hurt as she explained everything. 

“Well, she’s obviously not going back.” 

Namjoon snorted out once Sheridan finished her explanation. 

“You can stay here however long you need; you know we have the room for it.” Jimin piped up; offering the girl comfort by smiling gently and giving her shoulder a squeeze. 

Jungkook couldn’t even form words he was so pissed; merely glaring holes at the front door as he tongued the inside of his cheek in a further show of his irritation. Hoseok walked out quietly, leaving the other 6 boys with her and causing Sheridan’s brow to furrow in worry as she saw a vivid pain that was rare for any of them flash across his face. Seokjin pulled back from checking Sheridan’s bruised cheek; turning his attention to Alex as his expression turned from gentle focus to dark determination. 

“...Can we take care of him?”

It was a loaded question and one that had all the boys and Sheridan staring her down. Sheridan had no doubt if she answered yes the boys would all be out the door to make him regret his choices...but she also knew how hard making the choice could hurt; as her own abuse once again flashed through her mind.

 She winced. 

No matter how she hated Chris...she still didn’t have the strength to not feel frightened at the mere sight of him or the sound of his voice. It made her feel pathetic and weak but she also had ever told the boys...and had no intention to. It was in the past, and it wasn’t like she was even in contact with her Mother(who was still friends with him) and her new husband now anyway so she wouldn’t have to see him again.  

She had a new family now. 

“It’s 100% your decision. Feel free to take all the time you need.” 

She mumbled quietly as she threw an arm around her shoulders; empathizing more than Alex probably even realized.

(Lmaooo you did just fine!! Just so you know in the future though; there’s no need to control either the boys or OC(Sheridan)! That’s my job so it makes it a bit confusing to respond to. No biggie though! I was once a beginner at full-on descriptive roleplaying too many years ago so I get it! I’m getting back into roleplaying myself so forgive me if this isn’t my best work lol. 

The boys will be more integral once you respond again I was just handling setup but I’ll be sure to include what you mentioned! It’s always best to just respond to what’s directed at your character last; since that’s basically where I’m leaving off the story for you to pick up if that makes sense? I hope I’m explaining this well enough lol. Don’t feel pressured to match my length by the way! My starters are always hella long...I adapt to my partner!)

[homestucky]

ok ok this is like not anything new but still since i havent been on here i havent fully ranted about this yet. big long rant incoming

re the epilogue (spoilers etc)

ok. i have onl y read meat. but fucking? dirk? dirk? ok? dirk??

no.

i am aware of what happens in candy. i know he dies.

i also know in the version i read, in meat, he becomes his ultimate self, all versions of dirk. as many people have said, this includes AR, this includes bro, this includes even to some degree, LE. its an interesting idea ill give you that. but its also.... shitty and not backed enough by well, anything?

so heres my personal rant about the shitty things in Meat.

when i first finished it i couldnt help but think. was the dirk narrative even necessary? on the one hand it was meant to be the MAIN PLOT and it defined the narration etc, but.... it honestly didnt seem to have any importance. i know it was likely  a set up to imply future stuff like making the next sburb or whatever but like

who CARES? why on earth would that be interesting or important? maybe im crazy but like, the ‘b plot’ which was mostly about character relationships and jobs in earth c, was compelling and enjoyable. the narrative with john ‘not important and not the main character anymore’ egbert had details and conclusions ACTUALLY RELATING TO HOMESTUCK, THE COMIC I LIKE AND WANTED TO READ AN EPILOGUE FOR. it was tragic and frankly very upsetting! im not saying i liked it!! but the tragedy felt compelling and significant. 

i appreciate that dirk as narrator IS BIASED so him saying that these narratives are less important is inherently like. not to be trusted but. just. i cant help but feel like you could have cut the whole ‘main dirk reality affecting’ narrative OUT 

and that seems to me maybe like... not good? if such a central part of your narrative has almost no bearing on homestuck or anything anyone cares about?

but im sure there are other people who found it compelling and necessary. thats fair. cant relate but you do you. there are other issues. 

me saying that the dirk narrative felt weirdly isolated and insignificant sounds pretty weird given that it put jade into a coma, manipulated kanayas mind, effectively killed rose and destroyed rosemary right? WELL that brings me on to the next thing. people have noted that meat barely passes the bechdel test. and hey, sometimes things like that can just be a coincidence or unlucky. but the repeated erasure of the female characters minds, motives, identities and autonomy was????  a little too consistent to dismiss. like ok terezi was still her dope self in a lot of ways. jane kinda did some stuff (under dirks direction, and only shitty stuff but . whatever). 

(sidebar: ofc it doesnt make sense to talk about calliope and roxy in the context of the female characters in Meat but either way they were very in the background. like cool an all, and i always love roxy. and i respect they were mostly just minding their own businesses??? which is fair)

 i just. urgh. homestuck has such a genuinely good track record of giving female characters genuine motivations and powerful abilities etc. the fact that almost ALL the female characters involved were working for or manipulated by DIRK. DIRK of all people. is like... is this even based off the real comic? idgi????

roses loss of autonomy.... rose is such an important character. and she goes along with everything dirk says because dirk is suddenly all OP and ‘theyre basically the same person anyway’ like i get that there was some magic bullshit going on or whatever but at the end of the day rose was still written as weak and passive. dirk as strong and skilled and decisive. i get the undertones.. hes a prince of heart. a destroyer of souls, and identities. he messed with kanayas identity , destroyed roses, repeatedly ignored roxys and calliopes, and god i wont even get started on jake yet. but that doesnt make it satisfying to read. or even really feasible.

so theres a possibility im missing something. but im confused about WHY dirk is allowed this power. in the narrative its waved off as a kind of ‘i guess because im like a prince of heart or whatever and im just super good at managing identities and being a strong boy’ like ok if theres some implication somewhere that that is MEANT to be a bogus explanation id be interested to know because it sounds pretty goddamn bogus. why would this happen to dirk? why? literally? one reason? one that makes sense? because there arent any i can think of. why, in the new universe, would dirk, a prince of heart, manifest into a narrative controlling supergod. and fucking WHEN has dirk showed any actual capabilities in this area before?? he KINDA sucked at it in the game. dirks an idiot! hes smart and capable in like, some ways but. its like

why is dirk so powerful suddenly -> its because hes become super ultimate dirk -> ... ok why -> uh because like. hes just so naturally inclined towards being a great manipulator yknow..... canonically.... uhhhh

it just. canon dirk to epilogue dirk is the most ridiculous leap character wise, skill wise, arc wise, personality wise, with minimal reasonable explanation. 

which brings me on to the next thing. so i roasted dirk and said he wasnt strong enough to be able to manipulate things this well. well, obviously through some other means dirk HAS been afforded this power. but what about his personality? its obviously gonna be warped with self importance and knowing how things ‘have to be’. but hes heartless, cruel and hateful. in some ways it seems like canon dirk levels of ruthlessness, especially when it shows that he is actually doing something dumb and petty like his treatment of jake. that shows that he STILL has emotional connection to people as dirk. he also seems to care about some people, like dave and roxy, and cracks jokes and wants to have ‘fun’. this makes the ways in which hes so warped and cruel seem even worse. maybe on the one hand im giving dirk too much credit, everyone knows he has the potential to be a real bastard. but i dont think that was the trajectory he was on when we last saw him. and if this is truly due to him just.. becoming other versions of himself too including LE and bro and stuff..like. i dont see how it could have gotten that bad without say, roxy or dave noticing. 

‘oh they didnt notice because hes just so good at hiding’ why on earth would i believe that!! dave especially this is kinda insulting for. dave is shown to have an almost supernatural ability to detect danger. partially this might be timeline stuff, knight stuff, but also notably im sure his upbringing is involved too. he was trained to be hypervigilant. who was he trained to be hypervigilant for? bro. bros manipulation and traps. near the end of the epilogue we show that dave IS capable of detecting the mindfuckery thats happening. how would that not set off 1 million alarm bells? theres literally apparently a twisted dirk-bro mutant INSIDE HIS HEAD telling him what to do. i just. know that scene was played for comedy and romance but at the very least thats gotta like???? mess with u if ur traumatised? and thats like , why i think dave should have had an inkling abt what was going on!! this is exactly the thing he hates and fears and was traumatised by! and it just going under his nose n him not even knowing , and still pretty recently being all buddy buddy with dirk seems just stupid and infeasible to me. maybe this is me being naive or kind of a stretch but i just feel like daves danger instincts would have been kicking up a whole assed ruckus that whole time. 

also kind of unrelated but i associate sunglasses with strider style toxic masculinity and hiding things so like. ok transitioning or changing gender presentation is one thing but roxy apparently permanently wearing sunglasses makes me NERVOUS

and ill probably wrap up this mighty rant soon but i wanna also say jake was done so fucking dirty. i know he was like, meant to be, because for some reason god dirk just hated him? like ok petty much. but. urgh jake is such an interesting character with a lot of potential and while i appreciate that him being manipulated by someone who may reasonably have a problem with him may make him do stupid and embarrassing stuff, all the narrative seems to have taken a backward step in how hes represented. jake isnt stupid, dirk clearly knew this in canon and he maybe was the only one even including jake. and there was some acknowledgement of this near the beginning of the epilogue. but then for some reason it goes back on itself. everyone still thinks jake is just completely stupid, including the embittered superdirk. so yeah i guess hes upset with jake or whatever but. its still dissatisfying to be like oh yeah jake isnt stupid he actually has a complex set of motivations and potential etc BUT over the X number of yrs on earth c no one else has realised this yet?? hmm. then his narrative is just gonna end up with him being a total joke and essentially becomes as stupid and incompetent as his worst critics say he is. feasible given the mind control ? yeah. enjoyable to read or having any kind of satisfying bearing on anything? nope!

so anyway. i feel like any criticism i have could be argued back with ‘but oh it has to be this way’ or ‘mind control!!’ or ‘not everything has to be nice and happy !!’ but like. dude. there are flaws. many of them. and seeing characters just get shat on is never gonna be good writing. 

[parkjmini]

Outlier | the end

poly!au: park jimin x reader x kim jennie while your lovers said they needed you, you wondered if they knew how much you needed them. word count: 3988 genre: angst warnings: explicit language

[an]: nothing is medically accurate lmao im so sorry i researched like 70 percent and then i implied everything else so dont trust me idk what im talking abt. but a BIG thank you to everyone who sent me so so so much support and feedback for this entire series bc i wouldn’t have had the motivation to finish. getting those messages after posting a chapter made me giddy for my own story and i know what happens. I truly love interacting with my readers and going into plot/character analysis, i just love hearing everyone’s thoughts and thinking processes bc we all interpret things differently, again, thank you everyone who enjoyed reading this story (: 

prologue . 01 . 02 . 03 . 04 . 05 . 06 . 07 . 08 . the end 

After confirmation of the surgery, it became prepping sessions. Your doctor slowly took you off the chemo and gave you medication to ease any discomfort. You were given less visiting hours because you needed to rest. 

But your troubles stirred when you were alone. The moment replayed in your mind when Jennie told you that they were broken up. There was nothing you could say, nothing for you to fix. Jennie and Jimin were respectfully dating you, aware of your decision for still wanting to be with the both of them. It didn’t feel the same though, it didn’t feel secure or safe.

There was no way you could date them separately. Jimin lacked what Jennie brought to the relationship and vise versa. It wasn’t complete without the both of them. Your nurses didn’t let you worry about that, brushing away Jimin and Jennie during your resting hours. 

Jungkook visited you once after you added him back onto your list. He also brought you a vase of your favorite flowers. There was part of you where you didn’t want to make things awkward, but the other part didn’t allow for that. Instead, you blurted out that you knew about his crush on you. Then, he left quickly after you rejected his offer to be with him.

Hoseok respected your time and didn’t visit when he wasn’t allowed to. You were aware of how he had other important events in his life, but you really wished he tried to see you more. You’d hate to admit it, but Hoseok seemed to be the only person you could turn to for any non-biased advice. Since he stopped coming around often, you had to turn to your nurses.

The two weeks were absolutely the dullest moment in your life. You thought that living in your small town with your mom was bad, this was worse. You were stuck in a huge hospital with no friends majority of your stay. Your nurses were only with you for max ten minutes before they needed to go. You had the television, sleep, and your own nervousness.

Surgery was a big decision, so big that you even called your mom about it. You didn’t have the best relationship with your mom, so calling her was a surprise to even her. She totally didn’t bother to follow up on your life, so she never called first. But, you couldn’t go into surgery with the possibility of death and not tell her about it.

She offered to fly over and you insisted that she didn’t. So when she arrived to see you, you didn’t hesitate to give her a piece of your mind.

“What are you doing here? I told you that you didn’t need to come. Where did you find which hospital I was staying at?” You groaned into your pillow.

Your mom set her things down and crossed her legs while she took a seat across from you. “I asked the school. I’m your mother, for fucks sakes.” 

“Yeah, well you didn’t think that when I was growing up, so now that I’m dying, you decide you should start caring.” You rolled your eyes at her gasp.

“How dare you say that to me? I raised you when your dad walked out on us.”

“If you think being drunk and picking me up from my after school programs means raising me, then yeah. You did great mom.” Your sarcasm came out in train wrecks when it came to your mom; she drew the worse out of you.

“(Y/N), you have cancer and you decide to let me know when you’ve already decided for surgery is not exactly the most responsible daughter thing you pride yourself to be.” She shot back.

Your nurse came in to cue that she only had 15 minutes left before she needed to leave. “It honestly didn’t cross my mind that I needed to tell you since you’ve never cared enough to call me these past years except to invite me to your stupid wedding. Might I also add that you didn’t tell me about until the day before, so that makes two of us.”

“I didn’t raise you for you to treat me like this.”

“You didn’t raise me at all, what are you saying? But how about we talk about something else, since that’s all we ever talk about. News flash, mom, I have fucking pancreatic cancer and I’m going into surgery tomorrow. I’ve been going to chemo these past three months and I have almost to no hair. My body is bruised from being poked by needles. I am dying! Thanks for even having the audacity to come see me before my maybe death tomorrow. Don’t let the door hit you in the face.” You shouted as loud as your lungs let you go.

Your door opened and you both stopped your argument to see Jennie and Jimin standing under the frame. They looked stunned and confused to see the lady who you resembled. “Did we come at a bad time?” Jimin asked.

“No, since this is your visiting time.” You crossed your arms, glaring at your mom.

“Who are you two?” She asked, rudely.

“Mom, that’s my boyfriend, Jimin and that’s my girlfriend, Jennie. Welcome to the modern society of polyamorous relationships where I love two people at once.” Jennie and Jimin have never heard such sarcasm run out of your mouth. You were always just subtle, but this side of you was new.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Jennie stepped forward and your mom got up.

“Well, I can see that you have a whole double life I know nothing about. I guess you don’t need me anymore. Good luck on your surgery and whatever you call a relationship.” She grabbed her things and walked past Jennie and Jimin.

“She was pleasant.” Jimin said sarcastically and you rolled over on your side.

“This is why I never brought you home with me for the holidays.”  Jennie hurried to cuddle up to your side. 

“At least we avoided an awkward argument over Christmas dinner.” She chuckled and kissed your ear.

Jimin sat on your opposite side. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” 

Sitting up in Jennie’s arms, you buried your face in your hands. “No. I’m so scared.” 

“You’re going to be fine. Jennie, Hoseok and I are going to be right outside of your door. We’re going to be with you when you’re recovering. We’re with you every step of the way, we already packed our go-bags.” Jimin tried to comfort you, but you sobbed into your hands. You couldn’t help but cry so much nowadays. Staying strong was hard when you were so vulnerable. 

“And if something happens? Will you be there with me?” It was a rhetorical question that caused them to both fall silent.

“Nothing will happen. They’re highly trained professionals and I made sure you had the best surgeon in this hospital.” Jennie bragged proudly and Jimin laughed.

“Yeah, seeing her demand it was very terrifying. But, she did it. You’re in good hands, baby.” Jimin smiled and kissed the top of your head.

“Can you two just lay with me for the last couple of minutes before my nurse comes and kicks you out?” You sniffed and moved over for Jimin to join the sandwich fest.

“(Y/N), I love you so much.” Jennie and Jimin said in unison, and the unsettling feeling set back into your system.

A group of nurses and surgeons rolled you into a double door room. It was dim, except for the big spotlight that shined above you. Squinting, you saw the surgical masks that blinked back at you.

“Ready?” Your doctor was smiling behind her mask.

“No.” Your voice trembled from your nerves; your palms slick with sweat. “I want to be okay.”

“And you will be, (Y/N). We’re going to start with the anesthetics and we’ll get everything going. Relax, I’m right here.” She held onto your shaking hand and you stared back up at the bright light.

You felt the drugs enter your system, slowly stripping away your consciousness. You’ve already cried out all night your worries and said a few important goodbyes before the day arrived. The jittery feeling caused your body to shake uncontrollably and you were so terrified. This could mean recovery or death.

And while you hoped for survival, you knew the chances were split between the two options. Death was unavoidable, but to die so early shook your bones. Your dreams have just been memories of past events in your life, reminding you of the life you lived. The life you might soon leave. It was harder to ignore death than it was to wish for recovery.

Once your eyelids fell over your eyes, you’ve never felt more alone in your entire life.

“Would you stop pacing? You’ve been walking back and forth for the past two hours.” Jennie complained.

Jimin stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes at her, “I’m nervous.” 

“What happened to ‘it’s going to be fine’ and ‘you don’t need to worry’?” Jennie laughed and Jimin rolled his eyes.

“I can’t help that my body reacts the way it does when I’m the slightest worried. How are you so calm about this? They’re literally cutting her open in that room.” Jimin gestured to the closed doors.

“By not thinking about it like that. I’m thinking about the lovely time I get to spend with my girlfriend when she’s done.” Jennie muttered.

Jimin walked up to her and pointed to his chest, “you mean my girlfriend?”

Hoseok pushed the two apart. “She’s both of your’s. Are you two done making a scene in a hospital?” 

Jimin went over to sit next to Hoseok’s other side, making him stuck in the middle of a not-so-friendly feud. Even though they showed up together for visits, they were incredibly hostile to one another when they were alone. 

They slept in separate beds, Jimin taking over your room and Jennie in her’s. They ate dinner with their own friends and didn’t bother to tell each other about their whereabouts. They mostly spoke to each other in scoffs or groans.

Suddenly, the hallway doors were slammed open and nurses were rushing in a big machine --- a defibrillator.

The three of them stood up, seeing how rushed and hurried the nurses looked. The surgery door opened and a surgeon walked out with sweat dripping down the side of his head. The sound of a flat line heartbeat caught the attention of Jennie.

“Her heart isn’t beating, is it?” She was afraid to hear the answer to her question, her chest rising and falling violently.

Your doctor held the door open for the other nurses and defibrillator. “Her pulse went out, but we’re doing our best. But prepare for the worse.” 

Jennie collapsed onto the floor, bawling. “Holy fuck, we’re going to lose her!” She shouted with heavy tears running down her face. It was like her words pulled Jennie’s heart down to the pit of her stomach. Her whole mind and body were shutting down at the news.

“You have to stay calm, Jen.. we’re in a hospital.” Jimin tried to get her up, but she kept slipping his grasp.

“I don’t care! That’s our girl in there and her heart isn’t beating!” She exclaimed and Hoseok helped with holding her up.

Jimin’s head was in shambles, utterly speechless at what was happening. Hoseok was numb to the news, unaware to how to react. They wanted to stay optimistic, that the defibrillator will work. It had to work. 

“Why don’t you two go outside and get some air? I’ll stay here for any further news. Please... it’s not a suggestion. Go.” Hoseok needed to clear them out before they both stressed him out more than he already was.

Jimin walked Jennie outside. The light breeze clearing their heavy, crazy minds. Jennie was choked up by her tears, constantly wiping at her wet cheeks. Jimin stared at the ground, listening to her sorrows. His heart too heavy to express.

“Aft-er -- everything.. --Jimin --- I’m.. really, truly sorry...--” Jennie had trouble speaking with the endless waterfalls from her eyes.

“--Jen..” Jimin barely got out.

“No.. listen to me first. I’ve felt really guilty about all the rumors. We should’ve never gotten together in the first place, especially with someone like me. I’m known as the campus hoe, right? I can’t hold onto a stable relationship even if I wanted to and now my --- girlfriend --- is-- she’s -- dying.” Jennie cried harder, holding her face in her hands as she slid against the wall and onto the ground.

“I didn’t do anything with Jisoo ever. I don’t know how many more times I need to tell you, but I would never hurt you or (Y/N) like that, especially coming from a place where that has happened to me multiple times. Maybe you’ve always secretly doubted our relationship, considering how we got together through an accidental one night stand.” 

“Through our three months together, I fell head over heels for you, Jimin. I’ll admit it. I liked (Y/N) first, but you had a piece of me I didn’t think I could give to anyone after Taehyung. You’re so open, so understanding, so kind. I’ve never fully gotten the chance to explain myself because you keep shutting me down and every time, I believed that my explanation doesn’t matter. I’ve been devalued my entire life by my partners and sadly, I made myself feel that way with you when you ignored my pleads. But I think now is the best opportunity to tell you because we honestly don’t have anyone else who understands us the way we do. We’re both suffering because our girlfriend is in there not breathing. Our girlfriend, Jimin. I love you and through everything, you’re the one of the only people in this world who knows my struggles.” Jennie held him by the shoulders, so he could look her in the eyes as she gripped onto the only hope left in her life.

Jimin invited her into his arms, holding her tight. He had forgotten why he was upset before. He just wanted to be with his girls. He wished, hoped, prayed that things were back to how they were before the misfortune. 

“I’m sorry for making you feel invalid. I’m sorry for hurting you the way I did.” He admitted and Jennie sobbed harder into his chest.

“It’s okay... -- we’ll --- be...”

“--- Okay?” Jimin finished off and she nodded. 

You couldn’t breathe or move. Your lungs collapsed into your chest and you struggled to supply oxygen to your body. You screamed, but no noise came out and your arms were glued to your side. It was like you were trapped in a motionless body.

Everything was turning fuzzy and a white light blurred your vision. This was it. You were dying. You weren’t sure what realization hit you. Maybe it was the lost of breath and your heart rate slowly declining. Maybe it was the blinding light that caught your attention ahead.

Your memories started flashing before you. Jennie and Jimin flooding your mind. Your eyes scanned for anyone else, but them. However, you were left with scenes of your once perfect relationship.

Your first date night. It was the day you officially joined your partners. Jennie hurried you down to meet Jimin. He was cleaned up nicely, standing all cool against his sleek car. He peered up to see Jennie with the biggest smile on her small face, hand holding yours. 

She told Jimin the news and he was overjoyed, ready to hold you in his arms. He rushed you into the car and it didn’t feel much different than it was when all three of you hung out. The only difference was that you’ve never been more intimate with your best friends. 

Your first kiss. You anxiously sat next to Jimin on the couch during a lazy movie fest you were having with them. He had his arm wrapped around you, twirling the ends of your fingers with his. Your heart beating so fast, being not use to the touching from either of them.

He picked up your chin, knowing that you were distracted. It was an instant spark once your eyes connected and soon, your lips did as well.

Your first ‘I love you’. This moment was one of your favorites. It was Jennie’s birthday and you three were excited for the day ahead. However, a huge storm was rolling in and you were almost home. Jimin insisted in stopping to buy more snacks before rushing back. 

Once you all stepped out from the convenience store, it was showering, pouring heavy amounts of rain. Jennie, you and Jimin were drenched within seconds of going outside. Your plastic bags filled up an inch with collected water. Jimin’s leather seats in his car pooled with rain. All three of you laughed with glee as you marveled the escape from the wet mess.

And you suddenly stopped to admire the way Jimin’s eyes disappeared cutely and how Jennie’s nose scrunched up, her adorable snort catching your attention. In the midst of their happiness, you blurted out, “I love you two.”

The news of your mother’s wedding. An invitation was addressed to you. It had pretty cursive handwriting and a beautiful design. It was a wedding for your mom and her boyfriend, inviting you to join them for an evening of unity. You weren’t aware of them even being engaged, let alone a marriage. 

Jennie and Jimin never mentioned your mom, knowing you didn’t like pressing on too much about her. Their initial reaction was for you to go, until you explained that you didn’t even know she was getting married. You had crumpled up the invitation and threw it away in the trash.

Jennie consoled you, reassuring you that it was perfectly fine that you don’t attend. While you sulked in the living room, they approached you with the idea of still giving your mom a gift to congratulate her. It showed that you were the bigger person and that you acknowledge her efforts. They made you a better you.

Throughout every flashback, and every memory, your heart was searching for something beyond them, an image that wasn’t them. You laid there, dying, and all you saw was your girlfriend and your boyfriend. There had to be more than that and your heart was looking, waiting, for any other memories to surface. 

But nothing. It was only them and you couldn’t help, but feel a little disappointed. For the last few years of your life, you’ve revolved your entire world around these two people. You’re alone, not because you’re not social, but because you chose to focus all of your efforts into your relationship. And as you slowly lost sense of your consciousness, you became regretful about how you lived.

You heard distant voices, “1, 2, 3!” and you slowly opened your eyes. There was a rush of air that filled your lungs. Your vision adjusted to the bright spotlight and the many surgical masks above you. 

“She’s awake! We got her pulse!” They cheered and one of the nurses pulled down his mask.

“You’re going to be okay, Ms. (Y/N). The surgery was a success.” He smiled and you nodded, reaching for his hand to hold to make sure it was your reality. 

“We’re going to move you to your recovery room now, but you did really well.” The young nurse cheered with so much excitement, there were tears in his eyes. He was a complete stranger that just saved your life, yet he was even crying for you.

“T-Than-k yo-u.” You barely made out and he patted your shoulder. You shut your eyes again and felt the bed move and the voice of Hoseok calling after you as natural light hit your eyelids.

Several hours after the surgery and going over the post-surgery care, you carefully sat up in bed. Hoseok had to leave, but the two stayed. Jennie held onto you tighly, and Jimin blinked at you with stars in his eyes. But the thought you had while you were close to death never left your mind. 

“There is something I need to talk to you about.” You began, and Jimin and Jennie shared glances. “There was a lot to think about when I went under, my heart stopped for a few minutes and I was so close to my death. All I saw were our memories. I saw you two, but... something inside of me longed for something else, something more.” 

“If it’s not the three of us, then I don’t want to be in an individual relationship with either of you. That would mean making me choose and I don’t love one more than the other. It’s either both of you or neither. I will always love you two with all that my heart has to offer, but my life is so valuable and I need someone who is going to recognize that. I realized that the best for us is that there simply is no us. I love you both so much, I really do, but right now is not the right time. I’ll never forget us. ”

“Jennie, you were the first girl I love. Jimin, you were the first boy I love. But throughout it all, I won’t try to remember us. Maybe we’ll realize each other’s worth once we’re ready for it and we’ll be new people when we meet again.”

Jennie didn’t let go of your hand, instead, she nodded to every single word that you poured from your heart. “If that’s what you think is the best option for us, then I’ll accept your decision.” She agreed and no longer shed any more tears. She knew it was for the better, even if it did break her heart.

With a turn of events, Jimin was actually the one crying this time. Jimin’s tears spilled down his plump, supple cheeks. It was difficult for him to talk.. it was difficult for him to express how he felt in general. “I felt so regretful because I thought I was going to lose you forever when I was ready to trade my life for your’s. I’m just happy you’re alive and breathing. I respect your decision and I think that you’ll always know what’s best for us three.” 

Your heart was healing, bit by bit. The shock of almost death woke you up and you no longer wanted to be trapped in something that didn’t seem to work out well anymore. It was time for an end. It was time for change and you were more than thankful to have Jennie and Jimin, who loved you so much, they were willing to let you go and live life with no more regrets. 

Jennie smiled before gently kissing your hand, “I’m unsure how long me and Jimin would’ve lasted without you, but we were two people who fell out of love for each other, but back in love through you. I want you to know that even though you felt like you didn’t belong in our relationship, you were actually the connection between us. You were the reason there was an us.”

It was an epiphany ---- you were not the outlier in the relationship. You were the core center. Jennie and Jimin were more than thankful to have you in their lives, who loved them so much, that you were willing to look past their differences and to fight through every trial. 

“You were the reason there was an us.” That single line replayed in your thoughts, in a constant loop. And you smiled at Jimin and Jennie, the monitor beeping being the only noise in the room.

“I love you both, don’t you ever forget that.” 

[ofprcngs]

BRANDON ARREAGA — Well, if it isn’t JAMES POTTER, the GRYFFINDOR superstar. For those of you who don’t know HIM, you can spot them sitting with the other SEVENTH years. Most people think that they’re CHARMING and INCISIVE, but they can also seem pretty DEPENDENT and INEXORABLE. Sometimes people call them the SHEPHERD. Sure, they’re a PUREBLOOD, but that doesn’t define them. 

i literally have 0 explanation for why i did this other than i’m in love with him. but also, he’s a mess, so jot that down. if you wanna know more about him ( protip: don’t ) then i recommend checking out his pinterest and then i dunno.... contemplate why i’m a punk ass bitch, i guess. enjoy this mess. plot with me. ily.

james henry potter ( named for two his two grandfathers, maternal and paternal respectively ) was born on april 4th, 1960 to two of the most loving parents a child could have.

fleamont and euphemia had been trying for a child for years. they’d been together for basically all of time, having been that typical good-looking, well liked couple in hogwarts that everyone always just assumes will get married ( spoiler alert: they did ), however had had to postpone kids due to fleamont’s brief stint as a professional quidditch player for eight years following their graduation. after that, they would try every month for a child, and after many years of disappointment, eventually gave up. it was during this time that fleamont developed the sleekeazy hair potion which only added to their immense wealth. 

finally at age forty-one, they were surprised with the arrival of james. obviously, they saw him as their miracle child, and as such he was pampered and completely spoiled from the moment he was born.

i cannot stress enough how much this spoiled upbringing shaped james into the person he is today. if you’re wondering why he was ever an arrogant prick, it’s because he was always used to getting absolutely everything he ever wanted. he grew up with money, he grew up with fame and with every bit of attention he could garner, and so it was really no wonder he was a bit of an asshole by the time he started at hogwarts.

obviously, james had a pretty cushy childhood, and as such, shit didn’t start getting real until he started at hogwarts. 

it took all of three seconds for the hat to sort him into gryffindor, and i guess you could say he pretty much considered himself to be the gem of the house. he was the absolute epitome of a gryffindor, basically considered him the poster boy and all but expected everyone to love him.

really did not help his ego to know that everyone did.

in typical sterotype-gryffindor fashion, james hated slytherin. he had always been taught growing up that purists were basically the root of all evil, and his father had had no qualms in lumping all these people in with the house of the snakes. james and his friends took a particular disliking to severus snape almost immediately for the poncy way in which he seemed to believe he was superior to all for his intelligence and his house status, and this dislike only grew when lily evans was tossed into the mix, too.

for basically the first four or five years of hogwarts, james really was that stereotypical arrogant asshole that he’s often made out to be. he always got everything he asked for, he was incredibly popular and incredibly intelligent, he had the most amazing friends and his eyes on the most amazing girl. he was set!! shit was good!!

shit was not good, though. definitely was not. 

despite having known of remus’ furry little problem since second year, things didn’t really start to settle in james how awful it was until third or fourth year. he hated seeing his friend in pain, he hated that he couldn’t help, and so he rallied the boys to put into action their worst plan yet!!!!

becoming animagi!!!!!!

it took fucking forever, obviously, but by the end of fourth year they did it!! we stan icons

except then in fifth year shit hit the fan again in just, like... so many ways

first, it was the whole severus ‘mudblood’ situation. honestly, james was absolutely furious. he’d always hated snape but this just made everything 1000 times worse. even if it had happened to anyone else, he would have been fuming. but for it to have happened to lily like... yikes. 

this was also a horrible time for james though because lily rejected him for the thousandth time. like, look, what a yikes thing to think when she was just called a mudblood, but frankly he was sick of being rejected and he was sick of being the asshole who kept pressuring her so that was the breaking point --- he gave up on her. 

and tbh, he changed a lot from here on out. grew up!! became a better person bc he saw how horrible snap was and decided he was sick of horrible people!! saw, recognised and acknowledged that just bc he was hot and intelligent and rich he wasn’t always going to get everything he wanted ( see: miss evans ) and just generally learned that oh shit the world doesn’t revolve around him!!!

oh and then there was that whole thing with sirius and snape and Remus the Werewolf and ohhhh boyyyy.... that infuriated him. 

he loves his bros so much and y’all know he would die for them, but to see his friend abuse remus’ pain and suffering for his own gain was heart wrenching. it just pushed him further to pull him in line, to realise that not everything was about games, or petty rivalry, or ‘ getting the girl ’ --- life  heartache and mistakes and it was never going to go the way he wanted it to.

now look, this isn’t all to say that james is now a Super Strict, Super Intense, Brooding Weirdo. he’s still a bit of a child, and he’s still a bit of an arrogant prick, but ultimately what wins out is his morals --- every time. he wants to lead the world to a better place, without war and without hate, he wants everyone to have the same opportunities he had as a kid and he wants nothing more than for blood purity to be eradicated.

get that shit outta my house!!! gross!!!!!!

now in his final year, james is always flipping between taking his role as head boy deadly serious and turning it into one big game of mischief. he’s still a marauder at heart, after all, and has definitely abused his power sometimes for the benefit of fun and games, but when it comes down to it, he can be very strict and lowkey paternal. the leader really just.... popped right outta him, it came to play and it came hard, and really you’d think he’s minister for magic with how serious he treats it sometimes.

i hate him.

he’s a lot less intense with his hatred for slytherin’s. he has come to recognise that not everyone from that lifestyle is going to be the same, not everyone who grew up a certain way or was sorted into a certain house is going to think with a deadly mind, and while he’s still a bit wary, he’s a lot more relaxed about it, especially as head boy ( gotta at least pretend shit’s fair !!! )

ok i’m so tired this is abt to turn into a rambling mess 

uHhhHHh he’s very dependent as in like... boi cannot go a week without his friends. he is used to having people to bounce off, that’s always the type of leader he has been, and as much as he would probably be amazing at anything on his own, he’s never really tried. too scared!! i hate him!!!!!

super unforgiving. like, if you have gotten on his bad side.... i’m sorry. it is going to be very difficult to return from there. his moral compass is pretty black and white, you’re either good or your bad, and if you’ve done something he considers bad wELL sucks to be you, i guess. sorry not sorry.

takes his quidditch very seriously tbh. so many people have told him he needs to be a pro like his dad, but he’s like haha fuck you i know what i wanna do ( hint hint: he wants to rule that goddamn auror office, make that shit far more efficient then he thinks it is now ). but srsly, he’s so intense abt the game and it really like... idk gets him in the zone, keeps him level-headed in amongst all this chaos. 

i don’t know what im saying anymore pls send help

uhhhhh he’s smart. i guess. straight a’s and shit idk. just very naturally intelligent, finds everything he does easy, like.. really is that asshole who is just good at everything he does.

i’ve run out of things to say, pls just love him

WANTED CONNECTIONS

girlfriend: i hate to expose myself as a whole ass jily stan but... here i am i guess. but also, listen: he really thinks he’s over her right now. like, he truly believes his days of pestering lily evans are behind him. it was just a crush! it’s gone! ( spoiler alert: it’s not ) BUT he is so convinced that he has got himself into this relationship which is really just... a mess. like highkey it’s obvious he could never fully love her bc his Heart Belongs to Lily or whatever but he does care for her deeply and has tricked himself into believing it’s love. it’s hard, man. he’s confused. send help.

ex-girlfriend(s): more of above but like... less intense? or more intense! who knows, frankly.

childhood friend(s): i’d die for childhood friends. jake/gina dynamic? iconic. just anything, really.

odd friend: ok like... as i mentioned, he’s still kinda wary of slytherins and ppl who grew up in purist culture, but i would love love love to see someone who was one of the first to show him that not all those people are so bad. like someone from a purist family or the like who was just chill and friendly and actually befriended this asshole even when he was... well, an asshole. it’d be fun, ig. also if they eventually do end up recruited for the de’s bc of family stuff or whatever... bonus points.

rivals: i’m tired. you understand.