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#reminded me i should share some of these screenshots i took the past few days
dbphantom · 2 years
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this game is so pretty it's not fair
not pictured: lucien clipping through the floor behind me
#i've been really into skyrim lately#the vibes are immaculate#it's a huge comfort game for me#been falling asleep to those '10 hour skyrim ambiance' videos on yt lmao#reminded me i should share some of these screenshots i took the past few days#cruddy rambles#yes my dragonborn is a battlemage what about it!!!#it's genuinely a really fun playstyle to play support while your teammates destroy everything for you#play on legendary and setav their damage values to like .3 and it's so so so fun to play support#you get oneshot by everything so your followers HAVE to take aggro#im a conjuration/alteration mage so i can summon walls of earth to block enemies and wraiths that explode on impact#the thalmor embassy is going to suck but it'll be a fun experiment to see how far this build can take me#currently my dragonborn's goal is to 'save up' enough money to pay for his education at the college of winterhold. so he's roaming around#doing bounties and got roped into the main story by accident#so far we've found lucien kaidan inigo and lydia (who is getting replaced by auri when we get close enough to make me beelining to her#believable on the 'roleplay' part of things) naturally#my dragonborn is originally from solstheim and came to skyrim for the college. which. he doesn't know it's horrible so that'll be fun.#listen i wanted a reason to actually have my character 'established' before i did college stuff as for roleplay reasons i'll be leaving#my followers at home for that questline#so he needs the money lmao
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obsessedwithceleste · 5 months
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I'm baaaackk (did you miss me?) Have I been saving posts to spam reblog these past several days? yes. Have I been stalking my moots and lurking about? Also yes. But let's all be so serious for a minute.
Why was I gone?
As some of you might know, several days ago I found my works being shared on a slytherin boys TikTok account (@Slytherin_BoysFanf1c) who was claiming to have written MY work themselves. They didn't even bother re-writing or copy/pasting- it was literal screenshots off Tumblr with the same banners/dividers/everything. To be clear- I do not share my works on TikTok, any account on TikTok that has my work posted is not me and does not have my approval. I ended up making the mistake of asking this person to remove my work from their page to which they refused, and denied the work being stolen. I opened a ticket/report on TikTok and their account ended up being disabled from the platform.
By the next day, this person had tracked down my PERSONAL Instagram account (which I admit was a public account) and began harassing me.
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Obviously this was an extremely stressful encounter, and not one that I ever thought I would experience. I did end up immediately blocking and reporting their account, and have not heard from them since, but please understand why I took a couple days to decompress and step away from everything.
The reason I share this with you all is because this was a very real and scary reminder for me that the internet can be a very dangerous place, so ALWAYS be careful with what you post and take this as a reminder of how easily information can be accessed.
I also want to reiterate what another writer said here a few days ago which is that I do provide all of my content on this site FOR FREE and I will lose nothing my just not posting. (other than validation, but I assure you all I'll survive). It is so, so disgusting to steal content, and even more so to track down someone's personal information. I admit that there were steps that I took that were wrong, like commenting with my personal TikTok account, or having a public Instagram page, but for real, it should be a given that those things aren't an invitation for harassment. Let's all act right and not be mean to strangers on the internet okay? Okay.
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thejustmaiden · 3 years
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So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉
Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha
I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.
For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!
Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.
[Snippet 1]
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I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.
[Snippet 2]
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Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.
[Snippet 3]
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LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?
That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢
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After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]
Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!
It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷‍♀️
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I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.
You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.
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This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.
So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!
Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!
We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!
Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.
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I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.
At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.
Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞
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snifflesthemouse · 3 years
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I'm still rather new to Tumblr. While I've clearly displayed my ability to post my ramblings, I'm still figuring out the other various features of this platform. For the sake of reference, I have posted a screenshot below.
While I completely agree with @youhavebeenmarkled that it's grossly inappropriate to suggest Catherine, the future Queen Consort, is a drug addict... I want to add to the discussion and further develop why the concept of Catherine microdosing heroin is entirely ignorant.
@youhavebeenmarkled mentions several excellent points as to why the concept is ridiculous; from genetics to muscle tone and more. But there's deeper reasons why this idea of Catherine being on heroin is so far from the truth and reality, it's out of this world. Some could even argue it sounds like a page from a Hollywood script.
Before I get started, though, I want (and need) to stress a few things. I am in no way shaming anyone. As I've shared in the past, I am the last person in the universe qualified to pass judgement on anything or anyone. My posts are simply my perspectives, my opinions. I look at facts in the public domain, and with my own knowledge and life experience, I form my thoughts.
Please remember while you read this, I am not looking down on anyone. I am not bragging about knowing what drug addiction is or is not. I am only sharing some insights with you, the reader, on what real life heroin addiction is like. My only goal is giving insight.
I am not proud of my past, and I am not condoning it. Nor should you. Accountability is how I stay clean. Please do not feel like I am suggesting non-addicts are ignorant or "square". Not knowing or understanding heroin addiction is a blessing. It's a good thing to be in the dark about certain things because it means you're smarter than people like me.
Be proud of the fact you don't automatically see why these blind items are total nonsense from the start. And if you aren't proud of yourself, just know I am proud AF of you. For those of you like myself who have been through the hell of addiction, remember we do recover. With all that being said, let's get going.
You see, anyone with firsthand experience or knowledge of true heroin addiction would automatically know these rumors are absolutely ridiculous. Why? Because heroin addiction doesn't work that way.
Now don't get me wrong. The world is filled with functioning closet addicts. I myself was a functioning closet addict for years before the world was any the wiser. The key point, though, is the world did eventually get wiser.
Heroin addiction usually starts out in one of a few ways. Most Americans addicted to heroin became that way because of prescription painkillers. For example, I first got addicted to pain pills. When the pain pills became impossible to get, I took what I could get that was the closest equivalent. That was heroin.
But some people start using heroin because they did some at a party with friends. Or they have a loved one addicted and wanted to see what the fuss was all about. Some people are hooked on other drugs, like cocaine or ecstasy, and their usual dealer offers a free sample of the latest batch of heroin. There's a saying among addicts; "The first one's free."
Dealers know they can increase their profitability if they can get established clients addicted to other products they traffic. But these are just a few examples of how people get started using heroin. Very rarely does anyone start out on heroin simply because they want to stay thin. Contrary to the popular belief known to many as "heroin chic" that came from supermodels in the mid 80s and 90s.
Heroin is what addicts refer to as a euphoria narcotic. It has a euphoric effect, and it is sometimes called a "downer". Cocaine, crack cocaine, methamphetamine, or amphetamines are called "uppers" or "speeders" because they stimulate the brain and give energy. While heroin can have that affect on people, it is not the traditional go-to for illicit weight management.
In other words, if Catherine really did use microdosing (a concept I will debunk in a moment), her first, best choice would be a stimulant like cocaine because it's much more effective at appetite suppression and providing energy. Heroin wouldn't be the first, best choice for many reasons.
Because of its nature, heroin is highly addictive. Most users begin snorting the drug in powder form. Within seconds to a minute, the substance enters the bloodstream and hits the brain. The brain then releases endorphins that travel the rewards pathway in the brain. The first time one uses heroin is the highest they will ever feel from using. Every subsequent dose releases less and less endorphins in the brain. This is why recovering addicts talk about chasing their sobriety like they chased their first high. This is also why microdosing is an almost-impossible behavior.
Microdosing means taking tiny, small amounts over time. Meaning that you only use the minimum amount to achieve the effect you desire. But the problem is, your brain becomes physically dependent on the substance over time. Every time an addict uses, the brain gets more dependent on that substance to function. So, while a non-addict's brain has no issues with their brain producing endorphins, an addict's brain does. This is why heroin is so addictive.
Eventually, a heroin addict's brain will become so reliant on heroin to produce endorphins, the addict will become entirely dependent. This is also known as becoming hooked. When the addict doesn't have the minimum amount of heroin the body is accustomed to, or depending upon, the addict will start withdrawal. This is often called being "dope sick" or "detoxing".
Detoxing or being dope sick is the driving force behind addicts staying addicts. Being dope sick is the biggest fear of an addict. So much so, the fear of detoxing is enough to drive otherwise good, decent human beings to doing absolutely whatever it takes to avoid detoxing. Stealing from loved ones, manipulating innocent bystanders, lying, cheating, robbing, selling your body... are the half of it.
Being dope sick is like having the worst flu of your life times a million. You will vomit, have uncontrollable diarrhea, and your body will hurt worse than anything you could ever imagine. If you detox for more than a day, you will begin to feel like your insides are shaking, burning, and pulling apart inside. You can't sleep. You can't eat. You can't get out of bed. You miss work and lose your job (if you still have one at this point). You get desperate before this point, and you get carnal after this point.
Your brain and entire body becomes dependent on this substance to function subpar. Without this substance, everything begins to stop working properly. Depending on exactly how much you use normally, your withdrawal can become life threatening. You can have seizures, strokes, or even go into cardiac arrest. Hopefully you can see by now why I say the concept of microdosing is ridiculous.
To be able to micro dose would require the self control and willpower of a super human. This reminds me of an article I once read about a college professor who advocated for drug use. He claimed he wasn't addicted, had control of his drug use, and was a productive member of society. He said he'd use heroin like others drink after a long day of work. Yet, he's been using it for over a decade. Yet, he experienced detoxing. That professor is a prime example of an addict in denial. But I digress...
My points are this:
1. Heroin wouldn't be the first choice for weight control or appetite suppression; cocaine or stimulants like meth or ritalin would be.
2. Microdosing is an almost-impossible method of drug use because the body gets hooked quickly. Which means the dose will only increase in amount in order to have the same effects over time.
3. Heroin causes an addiction that results in serious, life threatening withdrawal that drives even the nicest person to doing the worst of the worst.
4. Heroin addiction, even in small amounts, takes no time to invade and overtake one's life. It literally only takes one time to get hooked. It literally takes no time to destroy everything.
Oh, and one more thing before I put a sock in it... at the height of my active addiction, I was using around 2 grams a day to feel normal. I spent at minimum $200 a day on heroin. Sometimes even more. When I started out, I was only using a tenth or less. It takes 10 of those to make a gram. So within two months of starting, I went from doing one tenth to needing 20 of those tenths just to feel normal and function. All the while, I never got smaller than 150 pounds.
I know it sounds terrible, but I would lament over how unfair it was. I was doing all this heroin, and I was still thick AF. I would literally joke to fellow addicts I would use with how it was total bullshit. How was it I was using 2 grams a day and still a size 12 or 14? That's how sick I was in my disease. Which is my final point.
Not everyone on heroin is "heroin chic" skinny. The effort, will power, and self control it would take to "microdose" would be far greater than what it would take to control one's diet and exercise. Plus it would be much cheaper to hire a trainer than employ a drug dealer.
I hope this very long, detailed, winded post gives better insight to the deeper reasons the blind item is so dumb. I also hope it gives insight to the real life of heroin addiction. My goal was, and is, to provide real examples to the blind item's absurdity. If I can help people better understand heroin addiction, potentially deterring someone from ever touching it or even a loved one learning something that could help someone they know struggling with addiction... well that would be a bonus.
P.S. If you or a loved one you know is struggling with addiction, there is help out there. If you have any questions or just need someone to listen, please feel free to message me. I will do my best to help. I've been there. They say the only way to keep your sobriety is by giving it away... I have plenty to give. Be forewarned, though, I am unapologetically blunt and honest to a fault. I mean no harm, but I will not sugar coat anything.
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ladyfogg · 4 years
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May I? - 23/?
May I? - 23/? 
Fic Summary: Ensign Faith Diaz struggles to hide her mental illness from her fellow shipmates aboard the Enterprise until an intrigued Data goes out of his way to try to understand her behavior. At his insistence, Faith tries to figure out what she’s truly passionate about and eventually seeks the professional help she needs. Fic Masterpost.
Fic Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Data/Female OC
Warnings: tw: depression, tw: anxiety, fluff, friends to lovers, eventual smut
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Screenshot by @geekygwen​
Sharing a space with someone else was a new experience for Data. He had spent hours on end with Faith in the past, however, having her there with him after his shift or on his days off brought a new level of intimacy. His bed was now their bed and his quarters were now their quarters. 
Her clothes hung in the closet next to his. He even had set up a terminal for her across the room from his and occasionally they worked together. 
The transition did have a few minor inconveniences as sharing a space normally would. However, through communication, the two were able to establish boundaries. For example, Faith would pick up after herself and Data would not rearrange her belongings without asking.
All in all, it was a positive experience. 
They had not told many people about the arrangement. Data had improved on keeping the details of their relationship private, limiting any questions to a select number of confidants. 
With his and Faith's relationship on solid ground, Data turned his focus to his upcoming art show. The closer the date approached, the more it consumed his thoughts. He found himself having difficulty narrowing down which paintings to showcase as he had painted thousands over the years. Faith helped with the event details themselves, such as food, decorations, etc. It was turning into a wonderful joint effort between the two.
Data sat at his console, running diagnostics while simultaneously organizing his artwork yet again. He heard the door open and glanced up to find Faith entering their quarters.
"Ten Forward is looking great," she said. "Guinan took over decorating and kicked me out." When she saw him at his console, she sighed. "You were there when I left hours ago. Shouldn't you take a break?"
"You are well aware I do not need to rest." Data continued to work. "The show is twenty-two hours away and I have yet to decide on which paintings to display. Aside from the ones involving you, of course."
Faith crossed the room and moved to stand behind him. Her hands ran up his arms to rest on his shoulders. "There is such a thing as over-thinking, babe. You need a distraction."
"There is not much that can consume my thoughts enough to qualify as a distraction."
Data found his console blocked by Faith as she slid her body onto the smooth surface. Her legs moved to trap him between them, forcing Data to look up to meet her eye.
"I can think of one thing," she said with a flirtatious smirk.
Intrigued, Data studied her. "You are attempting to seduce me in order to take my mind off my problem."
"Correct." Faith cupped his face as she leaned forward, eyes shining with excitement. "Also, I believe making love in a work-like setting was on your list. Number thirty-two, right?"
"Thirty-three," Data corrected. "Thirty-two involved the armchair, remember?"
"Mmmm, yes I do."
When she kissed him, Data closed his eyes and surrendered to the sensation. He had grown used to the strange tugging feeling in his stomach when they touched and the way his hands seemed to move on their own accord, coming to rest on Faith's thighs. 
Before they could go any further, however, Data found his mind too preoccupied. He drew back and gave her an apologetic smile.
"I am afraid it is not working."
Faith smiled back, running her hand through his hair. "It was worth a try. I figured it would be a long shot. Do you want me to leave so you can keep working?"
"I would rather you stay."
Faith slid off the console and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Whatever you need."
Data returned to work. "I would appreciate your input on the pieces for the show."
"Of course! Did you narrow down which ones you want to focus on?"
"I have settled on one-hundred and twelve possible paintings and combinations."
Faith blanched. "You might want to pair it down a little further."
"I am aware."
"Have you tried laying them out and looking at them?"
"I do not understand how that will help."
Faith smiled at him while she stroked his hair. "I know you have your lists running through that amazing mind of yours, but an art show is about visuals. So, maybe you should choose based on that."
Data had not considered such an approach. "It is worth a try."
He stood and the two of them went into the next room. Every surface aside from the bed had paintings either propped up on or leaning against it. Each time Data thought of a painting, he had taken it out of storage and the result was a room filled with various works of art. 
As Faith spread the potential paintings around, Data studied them closely. All he could see were the change in techniques. How his style shifted each time he studied another artist or how the colors changed when he focused on color theory. 
Remembering Faith's comment about visuals, he concluded that style and color were not exactly what she had been referring to. So he focused on the subjects instead. Once he began following that train of thought, he started to move the paintings around himself. 
Faith stepped back and let him work as he picked up speed. Eighteen minutes later, he stopped, taking a few steps back.
Without realizing it, Data had selected paintings of his friends and family. He stared at the collection of faces, reliving his memories of each one.
In the beginning were Dr. Soong and his wife; his parents whom he had never really gotten to know. There was one of Lore, his brother and rival, yet no less a part of Data than anyone else.
Commander Riker followed, someone who Data looked up to and came to think of as one of his closest friends. Lieutenant Worf, Wesley, Dr. Crusher, were showcased as well. He had learned so much from each of them and cherished their friendships. Guinan and Counselor Troi had been instrumental in his growing relationship with Faith. Their advice and wisdom was something he would always value.
Captain Picard's place among the collection was well-earned. He was not only Data's captain but had advocated for him when no one else would. Without him, Data had no doubt he would not be where he was. 
Spot was no less important than anyone else. Through his cat, Data had learned to take care of another being. Geordi was his first and best friend. Data had come to think of him as family and hoped the sentiment was returned.
At first, Data had hesitated to include Tasha due to their intimate history. However, she was and always would be special to him and Faith knew of their past. When he first told her, they spoke for hours about Tasha. Data felt if Tasha were still with them, she and Faith would have been fast friends.
Lal stared up at him from the painting, captured exactly as she had been when she was alive. Data still had her memories and accessed them from time to time. The idea of creating another android child had not left him, though it was a discussion he and Faith would have to have when they were further along in their relationship.
The final paintings were of Faith. The first one of her he had even done, leading up to the stars one he had shared with her weeks ago.
As Data was studying his work, Faith came up next to him and slipped her arms around his waist.
"I love it," she said.
"Does this look visually pleasing?"
"It's more than that. It's beautiful to see all the people who made a difference in your life."
"Then, these are the paintings I will display."
Faith beamed up at him. "I'm so proud of you."
The way her face lit up as she looked at him gave Data that feeling again and he bent his head to kiss her. 
"I must go relieve Commander Riker from the bridge, and you must sleep. Tomorrow will be a busy day for both of us," Data said.
"Don't remind me. My brain is already spinning with everything that still needs to get done."
"I shall make you your tea before I leave. Do you wish for me to stay until you fall asleep?"
"No, no. I'll be okay. Besides, you have duties to attend to." 
Data replicated Faith's evening tea while she changed into her sleep clothes. Once she climbed into bed, Spot slunk out from behind the chair where she had been hiding and took her usual place at Faith’s feet. It pleased Data to see his cat warm up to Faith so much. 
"Thank you, babe," Faith said, taking the teacup from him. "If I'm not awake when you get back, feel free to wake me. I have some diagnostics I have to run before preparing for the show."
"Faith, you should set aside downtime for yourself as well. I appreciate all your help but I have noticed you have not properly rested in many weeks."
“What do you mean? I’m sleeping better than I have in years.”
“Sleep is not always the same as resting.”
With a sigh, Faith leaned back against the headboard, hands clutching her steaming mug. "Deanna said the same thing. I agree but I just don't know what I could do to take my mind off things."
"Perhaps we can spend time on the holodeck."
"Yeah but what program? My mind is blank."
"I can create a program for you if you trust me."
Faith smiled softly. "With my life. I'm sure I'll love whatever you come up with."
"Then I shall do so." He leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Goodnight, mi alma."
"Goodnight, babe."
Data began creating said program by the time he left their quarters. He wanted it to be perfect, not just because he cared about Faith but because she had been such a big help with the show. 
When he arrived at the bridge, Commander Riker smiled at him. "There he is! How is the planning for the art show going?"
"Very well. Faith helped me decide which artwork to display."
"That girlfriend of yours is a gem." Riker stood to allow Data to take the captain's chair. "You're a lucky man."
"Thank you, Commander. I believe so too. Will you and Counselor Troi be able to attend the show?"
Riker smiled wider and clapped him on the back. "Wouldn't dream of missing it."
As he turned to go, Data realized he would like Riker's advice on helping Faith relax. "Commander, may I ask you a question of a personal nature?"
Riker stopped, his eyebrow quirked in amusement. "Sure, what's on your mind?"
Data stepped closer and lowered his voice to avoid others overhearing. "I have offered to create a holodeck program to help Faith relax. As you are aware, it has been a stressful time for her and she has difficulty resting when she’s not working. What would you suggest?"
"A program is all well and good, Data, but what Faith really needs is shore leave. She needs time off the ship and not spent in a crashed shuttle or being held captive."
"It is difficult enough to convince her to take time off on the Enterprise. It will be a task to get her to leave the ship."
"Well, I assumed you'd go with her. You both have plenty of personal shore leave available and you deserve a romantic vacation."
Data could follow Riker's logic. "That is an interesting idea. I shall work on that for the future as it will take some planning. In the meantime, what would you suggest for a holodeck program?"
"Sunset dinner on the beach," Riker said without hesitation. "Soothing, romantic, and leaves room for a moonlight swim if you catch my drift." He winked.
Data did not but he assumed the commander was referring to something intimate. "I see. Thank you, Commander."
Riker gave him another pat on the back and a smile before he took his leave.
Data had to switch his focus to his duties but kept building Faith's program in the back of his mind. His subroutine had specific perimeters for showing appreciation. He needed to put as much work into thanking Faith as she had put into helping him. He had often heard from his various male colleagues that anticipating their partner’s needs or showing adequate appreciation was difficult in a relationship. Data had thought as much for some time but that was no longer the case. As his and Faith’s relationship progressed, he found it easier to do so. His urge to make sure she was happy and healthy outweighed most anxieties about failing. Most. Not all. 
His shift was routine and once it was over and Captain Picard arrived to relieve him, Data returned to his quarters. Faith was still asleep when he returned, which pleased him. True to her earlier statement, she had been sleeping for longer, uninterrupted periods of time which he knew was good for her overall well-being. 
As he sat beside her, he admired her relaxed features. He appreciated seeing her void of the anxiety that so often took hold. Sometimes when she thought he was not paying attention, she would let her anxiousness show and her forehead would crease with worry. It was those times that Data was concerned about. With many good things happening around her, it made him curious about what could still be plaguing her ever-working mind. Counselor Troi had explained to him that anxiety and depression did not simply disappear because things were going well. But when Faith slept, Data noticed that was all gone.
He reached out to stroke her wavy hair. A moment later, she stirred, opening her eyes and giving him a sleepy smile. "Good morning." Her voice was soft and hoarse.
"Good morning, Faith. You asked me to wake you when I returned."
She gave a large yawn and a stretch. "I did, didn't I?" 
Data could tell sleep was not leaving her as quickly as it usually did. "Perhaps you should remain resting. No one would fault you for taking advantage of the time."
"But, I have diagnostics…"
"Are they urgent? Do Geordi or the captain need them today?"
"Well, no."
"Then go back to sleep." Data readjusted the blanket. "You can run them later."
She pondered his response before giving him a sly smile. “Or you can slide into bed with me and we can make out a little.”
Data was intrigued by her switch in priorities. He had known sex and physical contact could distract humans but it was interesting to witness it firsthand. Faith was quite driven and focused when it came to her work, but it seemed the thought of being sexual with Data was enough to change her mind about continuing her rest. 
He saw no reason to deny her request and found the idea acceptable. He stepped out of his shoes before sliding into bed with her. Once settled, he pulled her close. When their lips met, she no longer had any traces of sleep. Her body curled around his, her hands clinging to the front of his uniform. Per his program, his eyes closed while he kissed her and he focused on using his other senses. Her smell invaded his nostrils and the way her mouth moved against his activated his sexuality program. However, since Faith had not specified whether or not she wished to engage in intercourse, he shut the program down. 
“I love kissing you,” Faith mumbled, her sleep-addled brain making her more vocal about her feelings than she normally would be so early in the morning. “I can kiss you for hours.”
“While physically I will be able to do so, I do not believe you will.”
She chuckled, peppering his lips with kisses. “I can try.”
Data knew she was being facetious so he let the comment go without discussing exactly why that would not be advisable. He cupped her cheek and kissed her deeply, the way he knew she liked. At least, he concluded she appreciated such action. Her pulse tended to race faster and she often let out a small noise of appreciation. 
The results were instantaneous. Faith clung to Data even tighter, throwing her leg over his hip. He may have shut down his sexuality program a bit prematurely…
Before they continued, however, Data wished to discuss with her the idea of taking shore leave. Since she was so obviously relaxed, he thought she may be more agreeable to the idea in such a state. 
“Faith,” Data said in a hushed voice when she pulled away to catch her breath. “May I ask you a question?”
“Now?” Her response was not said with any annoyance or malice. It was more of a whine as she attempted to kiss him again. 
Data gently stopped her. “I realize my timing may interrupt our current intimate session, however, I promise it is relevant.”
“I was only teasing, Data. Of course you can ask your question. What’s on your mind?”
“While our duties on the Enterprise do not allow us to indulge in such intimate activities on a regular basis, I was wondering how you would feel about taking shore leave with me sometime in the near future.”
Faith pulled back to look him in the eye. “You want to take a vacation with me?”
“Is that not an activity most couples participate in?”
“It is. I’ve just never been on vacation with someone I’m dating. And the thought of taking shore leave always makes me feel so guilty. I mean, the Enterprise—”
“Can function without us for several days. It has done so numerous times in the past when neither of us was on board.”
She pursed her lips as she usually did when Data made a valid point. He allowed her to take her time answering, not wishing to rush the process or put pressure on her answer. “I’ll definitely consider it,” she concluded after a time. “It’s not that I wouldn’t love to have several long uninterrupted days with you in a comfy bed somewhere tropical. It’s just…” She trailed off. 
“Is your anxiety a factor?” 
Faith nodded. “I tried taking shore leave when I first joined Starfleet and for some reason, I could never relax enough to enjoy it. The guilt of being off having fun while my colleagues worked just felt wrong. it was always difficult to turn my brain off.”
“I do not believe humans can do such a thing. It is my understanding, that would be fatal.”
Faith chuckled, stroking his cheek. “Not literally. Figuratively,” she explained. “What I mean is, when I’m on vacation, I can’t help but worry about all the stuff I should be doing on the ship. What I could be helping with. It got to the point where shore leave made me more stressed than staying on board. So I stopped taking it.”
“Perhaps with me accompanying you, that can change,” Data suggested. “You do tend to lose track of time when we are in bed together.”
She gave him a sly smile as she drew closer once more. “Are you saying that I’ll be so distracted by your sexual prowess that I’ll forget all about the Enterprise?”
“When you phrase it that way, it does seem as though I was boasting,” Data realized. “I can assure you, that was not my intention.”
Faith chuckled and gave him a small peck on the lips. “I will take shore leave with you, but I’ll need some time in advance to get used to the idea. Is that okay?”
“I only wish for you to be comfortable and happy.”
“If you want me to be happy, kiss me again.”
Data obliged. 
They did not spend much longer in bed as there were still many preparations to complete before the art show. Hours later, after Faith assisted Data with carefully packing his paintings and transporting them to Ten Forward, she stepped away to get herself ready for the show. Data did not know what she meant but was unconcerned. He set about putting the paintings on display himself, readjusting them to account for the flow of the room or certain lighting. Data had just put the finishing touches on his work when Guinan approached him. 
“These look wonderful, Data,” she said with a proud smile. “Everyone is going to love them.”
“Thank you, Guinan. And may I say, you and Faith did a wonderful job with the decorations.”
Ten Forward had been transformed into an elegant art gallery. Faith had insisted on having what she called “finger foods” and various kinds of synthehol, all for the guests to graze at their leisure. 
Guinan looked around. “This was mostly Faith. She was adamant about making sure your art show was ‘perfect’. Her word, not mine. Said she even researched what other art shows look like. She really cares about you, Data.”
“That is good to know. She is special to me as well.”
“It’s more than that,” Guinan said, linking her arm with his. “Her feelings for you run deep. And while I know you are just developing feelings yourself, I want you to know how serious she regards her relationship with you.”
The tone of her voice led Data to believe her intentions were serious. He had known Guinan for some time and she would not make such a statement for no reason. 
“I appreciate your concern,” Data said. “But you need not worry. I am serious about our relationship as well. In fact, Faith and I have been sharing quarters for some weeks now.”
Guinan actually looked surprised. “Really?”
Data nodded. “We did not want to tell many people as Faith values her privacy. I am learning to appreciate it as well. I am also eager to continue this relationship with Faith. She is…” He could not find a word sufficient enough to describe exactly what Faith was to him. 
Thankfully, Guinan did not need him to finish his thought. She patted his hand, her smile widening. “I understand, Data. You better get ready. Your guests are going to be here shortly.”
There was not much left to do so Data took the time to do one more walk around the room, making sure his paintings were in the exact position to give them the best appearance. Eventually, Guinan opened the doors to Ten Forward, and Data’s friends and colleagues began to arrive. 
To his surprise, a large number of people began to file in. He imagined if he was capable of feeling nerves, he would certainly be feeling so. Having others experience his creative endeavors tended to heighten his senses to a degree. He found himself focusing on their expressions and stances, trying to decipher what they thought of his work. 
Geordi was among the first group of people to arrive. Data watched him walk through the show, admiring each of the paintings for a significant amount of time before approaching Data to congratulate him. 
“Data, this is spectacular,” he said, giving his friend a smile. “I’m really proud of you, buddy.”
“Thank you, Geordi. I hope you do not mind that I included a painting of you in the show.”
“Not at all. I’m honored and touched. I think these are some of your finest work.” Geordi looked around. “Where’s Faith?”
“I do not know,” Data admitted. “She helped me bring the paintings down and then said she had to go get…” He spotted her the moment she walked in and almost lost his train of thought. “...ready.”
Faith looked stunning. She was not dressed in her Starfleet uniform or formalwear. She had opted for a dark blue sleeveless dress that hugged her curved frame. While the front did not dip as low as the dress Fajo forced her to wear, it still accentuated her breasts. When she turned to greet Counselor Troi, Data noticed the back of the dress dipped provocatively, stopping just above her lower back. The skirt of it folded around her long legs when she walked, occasionally showing off a smooth leg through a slit in the side. Her hair was pinned up in a simple style which highlighted her natural waves. 
She was a vision of pure beauty.
Geordi followed Data’s gaze and smirked. “I’ll leave you to it,” he told his friend, before disappearing into the crowd. 
Data did not notice him leave. 
Faith caught Data staring and gave him a shy smile as she crossed the room to him. “Sorry I took so long,” she said, fidgeting with the dress. “I wanted to try something new and had to work up the nerve to actually leave our quarters.”
“Faith…” Data was speechless which was a strange feeling for him. “You look beautiful. I am honored you dressed so…” His eyes scanned her frame once more. “...exquisitely for my art show.”
“Well, it was more for you than the show.” She slipped her arm around his and smiled. “Shall we mingle then? Everyone seems so excited.”
Data had to admit, he found it difficult to focus on anything else with Faith on his arm. He found his gaze constantly drawn to the stray curl around her ear or the way the dress draped over her backside. Thankfully, she was more focused than he was and was able to draw his attention to those who were speaking to them. The compliments on his paintings came one after another. Person after person approached them to congratulate him on his work. His friends were each thrilled to be included. 
At one point during the evening, when Faith was engaged in conversation with Beverly, Data slipped away from her to approach Captain Picard. He had seen the captain enter Ten Forward some time ago but had been reluctant to engage with him until he had time to study the paintings. 
“Hello, Captain,” Data said, coming to stand by his commanding officer. “Thank you for taking the time to come to my show.��
“Data, I have to admit, I didn’t know what to expect when you told me you were putting together an art show,” Picard said. “This is wonderful. Seeing all of us depicted by your own hand is very moving.” They walked down the line together and Picard smiled at the image of him. “I will say, you could have at least made me look a tiny bit younger.”
Data recognized the light tone of Picard’s voice as a teasing one. “I shall keep that in mind for the future.”
At the painting of Tasha, Picard paused. Data recognized the sadness in his eyes. He often wondered how the Captain handled so many losses under his command. In the past, Data himself lacked the emotion to really dwell on such matters. But when Tasha died, that had changed. And now that he was with Faith, he could not imagine losing her in the same manner. It was a scenario he did not entertain. 
When they reached Faith’s paintings, Picard’s demeanor changed to a lighter one. He gave Data a look out of the corner of his eye, his eyebrow cocked in amusement. “You and Ms. Diaz certainly have come a long way in such a short time.”
“Sir, do you think our relationship has progressed too quickly?” Data asked. “I had my concerns about such a thing but was assured we should move at our own pace.”
“Mr. Data,” Picard said, giving the android his full attention. “I may not know a lot on the subject but I do know this: love is love. It is going to happen whether we wait or jump right in. I envy you, Mr. Data. What you and Ms. Diaz have is special.”
“You are not the first person to tell me such a thing.”
“That’s because it’s true. We can all see it. And we’re all happy for you.” He gave Data’s shoulder a brief squeeze before pulling away. “Now, tell me about this one here…”
By the time the last of the guests left Ten Forward, Data was ready to retire to his quarters. He imagined he was as close to tired as an android could be. Talking to so many people in such a short time was a lot. But there was another reason he was eager to leave. The entire evening he had been watching Faith and planning how to show her his appreciation for everything she had done for him. Guinan offered to clean up and all but shooed Faith and Data from the room. 
“That was wonderful!” Faith gushed as they stepped onto the turbo-lift. “Everyone loved your work. It was a magical evening. Some people even want to know when the next one will be. I don’t think I have the energy to even think about that let alone—”
Data silenced her with a deep kiss. Faith let out a noise of surprise, almost stumbling from the force of it until Data’s strong arm looped around her waist to catch her. He was overcome by a strange sensation pulsing through his body. When her mouth opened in surprise, he immediately slid his tongue past her lips. He could not understand it or contain it, causing him to kiss her with almost bruising force. Thankfully, he caught himself before he could accidentally hurt her. 
When he drew back, she was panting, her brown eyes wide. “Where did that come from?” she asked, her tongue darting out to lick her lips. 
Data’s eyes followed the movement. “I do not know. But I have been wanting to do that since the moment you stepped into Ten Forward.”
Faith smirked, slipping her arms around his neck. “Oh really? What else have you been wanting to do?”
The doors to the turbo-lift open and without warning, Data scooped her into his arms, making her squeal in surprise. "Data!" 
He wanted to experience her sexually. Their intimate moments had become a comfortable and enjoyable part of their relationship which he looked forward to. It was not only because of the feelings that emerged during their time together but because of the closeness it provided. 
Faith had shared a similar sentiment with him so he knew the feeling was mutual.
Feeling. It was strange for Data to use the term so frequently. Desire and happiness were the emotions he associated most with Faith. When they were engaged in intercourse, most of his background processes were shut down or filed away for later. 
As he carried her down the hallway towards their quarters, his hand found a slit in her dress, coming to rest on her thigh. He touched the warmth and smoothness, wondering if it would feel different if his hands had human nerves. 
Would his skin goose pimple like hers did? If he had a heart, would it race? He noticed her pupils dilated when she was aroused so he had adjusted his sexuality program to do the same when they were intimate. Faith had not mentioned it but he noticed she seemed to smile wider when it happened. Even then he saw it happen right before his very eyes. 
“Faith,” he said as they approached their door. “May I make love to you again?”
“I want you to do more than that, Data,” Faith told him, her voice dropping into the low register she only used when they were intimate. “I can tell you’re feeling something and I want you to give into it. Don’t think. Don’t analyze. Just feel.”
The doors opened and Data carried Faith over the threshold. “I could not stop this feeling even if I tried.”
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horansqueen · 4 years
Text
You & Me : chapter 17
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A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
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CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
- notes: i know some of you were sort of waiting for that soooo here it is! PLEASE let me know what you think!
if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)
requests! : i added a few but some im not posting the screenshots of because i didnt add everything in the ask so it felt weird to add them. it was tough to add requests tho because I sort of had something planned. i hope you enjoy it anyway :)
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Chapter 17 : His chapter
NIALL
I hadn't heard from Olivia in days but I was not really surprised. Apparently, her fiance (and trust me when I said I hated that word) had came back for a few days and she had without a doubt spent all her time with him. I was so mad when Harry told me about it that I actually initiated sex with my girlfriend, which was something I hadn't done in a very long time. I hated to think about Olivia with him. In fact, I hated to think about Olivia with anyone that was not me, and it was driving me a bit insane. Who would have thought my best friend would give me all these feelings? I wouldn't have guessed that back then, when we were kids.
I was the first one to sit at the restaurant as I waited for everyone to be there. It was sunday morning and we all had decided to have brunch together. I was not really in the mood but at least, it made me get out of the house, if only for a few hours. Even Heidi, whom I almost broke up with about 5 times in the past 2 days, couldn't handle being around me too much. I was still pissed at her and I knew she could feel it but somehow, I felt like she held me responsible for everything that had happened, like me being mad at her for what she did gave her the right to be mad at me.
Of course, I was not completely innocent in all of this and the fact that Olivia and I had kissed and more should make me feel guilty but it didn't. We were supposed to be together so why were we still apart and dating other people?
Louis and Eleanor were the first ones to join me, followed by Julie and Liam. We started talking about what we would do for Harry's birthday when I felt her presence behind me. It was a mix of the connection we had, and the way she smelled like, that always made me know when she was around and I started wondering if she could sense when I was near, too. It's only when she took a seat that something stirred in my stomach. Her boyfriend was there too and he was doing everything he could not to look at me. It made me frown and suddenly, I realized that she probably told him everything. It shouldn't surprise me, she was not the kind to keep things from people or even worse, lie, but I thought it was something that only belonged to us and it bothered me to know that she shared it with someone else, even if that someone else was the boyfriend she was cheating on. He was also still there, with her, making me think he had forgiven her, which was some crazy level of bullshit.
I tried to have fun and chat with everyone but I couldn't help but keep glancing at Olivia. She didn't seem at ease and I was not even sure why she had decided to come. She didn't enjoy that kind of confrontation and awkward moments normally and once again, I guessed that Dylan was probably the one who had convinced her to come.
I knew everyone was having fun but I was not and when everyone was done eating and were just chatting and laughing, I got up and said my goodbyes. They were short and I had a hard time to fake a smile but I still sent one last glance to my ex girlfriend before leaving.
I was searching for the right key on my chain when I noticed someone from the corner of my eyes and immediately hoped it was Olivia. When I turned my head, however, I noticed Dylan walking towards me and I was wondering if he was just going to throw his fist in my face. I didn't know what kind of guy he was, and although I felt like my ex girlfriend couldn't pick a violent guy, I also didn't know what a man who was cheated on could do.
"Hey man," he started, standing in front of me with a small frown before sighing. "Look, i'm not sure how to tell you that but, I know there's something between you and my girlfriend."
I stood there in silence, not really knowing what he expected from me. Was I supposed to agree? Apologize? Try to explain myself?
"I love her, you know."
I kept a straight face but my heart jumped in my chest. I loved her too. I was in love with her, but I couldn't tell him that, even if I was dying to.
"I know."
"Just," he passed his hand nervously in his hair. "I don't know how to ask you not to ruin this."
I stared at him for a few seconds, trying to let his words sink in and I started feeling bad. Not because I felt guilty for trying to get my ex girlfriend back, but because It was not the first time someone was asking me not to ruin something. I knew I could lie to him but I was not going to.
"I don't intend to ruin your relationship." I just pointed out in a low tone. "But is that really what you want? You want to marry a girl who's not completely yours?"
He sighed and glanced down before looking up in my eyes.
"If you were me, wouldn't you try anyway?"
This time, I had to admit that I was speechless and I just sighed too. Of course I would. If I was in his shoes, I would probably try to keep her, too, which is something I should have done over a year ago instead. If I had, we wouldn't be stuck in this mess.
I ended up just nodding and he did the same before turning around and leaving. I waited until he was back inside to get in my car and closed my eyes, breathing in and out deeply. I couldn't get myself to give up about Olivia, even if I knew she would be happy with Dylan, even if I knew it would hurt him and probably Heidi in the process, even if it would make an even bigger mess in our lives. I hit my wheel once and then a few more times a bit harder, hitting also the honk by accident. It was getting ridiculous and I knew that whatever was going to be decided needed to happen very soon.
I drove home and waited. I didn't want to be the first one to reach out, I thought that time, she was the one who had to call me and I waited.
It was a random thursday afternoon when I got her text message. The truth was, I was sitting in front of the tv but I was not really watching it. I had picked a netflix show that I was not really interested in just because I knew I was not able to focus on anything but when I put it on pause, I realized it would now probably suggest me a bunch of boring tv shows and I sighed, grabbing my phone. I could pretend I was not happy to get a message from her but i'd be lying. I could even try to say I tossed my phone away and kept on watching my stupid show but in reality, my heart had skipped a beat and I had re-read her words about ten times.
'Can we talk? I miss you.'
I blinked a few times, a bit surprised and annoyed by her words, and pressed my lips together in anger. Did she really just message me as if I hadn't stormed out of her place the last time we talked to each other? As if she hadn't asked me not to break up with my girlfriend after pointing out she was still getting married despite everything that had happened between us? As if she hadn't ignored me at the restaurant? I wanted to text her back to remind her that I was pissed and let her know she needed to stop toying with me. Instead, I decided to do it face to face.
'Where?'
I was expecting her to choose between her place of mine but instead, she asked me to meet her in a park and it made me frown. I got up and grabbed my keys and wallet, but kept my sweatpants and t-shirt. I had been quite lazy in the past few days and I didn't even give a fuck.
The drive seemed long but it was probably just because I was impatient and when I saw her, waiting for me on a bench, I stopped walking and inhaled deeply before sighing again. She looked good and I had missed her. The anger I felt so strongly for her now seemed more like annoyance or pain and I didn't feel like being rude to her anymore. I pushed my hands in my pockets, my eyes never leaving her, as hers were traveling around her. She could have been on her phone like most people would but instead, she was looking at kids running, people having picnics and most of all, at dogs walking by. I noticed her lips curling slightly every time one was near and it made me smile a bit, too. It's only when her eyes moved on me that I smiled more and I noticed that she did too. Why was it always so strong when we were near each other? I walked to her and sat a bit farther on the bench, making sure we wouldn't touch. She turned slightly to face me as I leaned against the back of the bench. placing my arm on it too, my hand very close to her shoulder now.
"I'm here now." I just said, my smile faltering a bit. "What did you want to talk about?"
"I'm sorry for what I did, Niall. I'm sorry for what I said, too." she let out, surprising me a bit. "Of course what happened between us matters. It's... it's all that matters, or almost."
She sighed and I stared at her as she looked down at her hands. She started playing with her fingers nervously and licked her lips but I remained silent.
"I asked to meet here so we wouldn't be tempted to just throw ourselves at each other instead to talk. Because that's all we do, you know? We flirt and we kiss and we touch but we have no idea what to do with our feelings."
I moved slightly closer to her and bent down a bit as my hand gripped the back of the bench tightly. It caught her attention and she looked up, her traits softening immediately when our eyes met.
"I love you and you love me." I whispered firmly, my eyes dropping to her lips before moving back to her eyes. "You love me more than you love him. We're meant to be."
Those were not even questions, they were facts, and somehow, I could feel that she thought the same thing. Her lips parted and I realized that I was in her vital space and despite how rational and private I was, that made me want to kiss her. Whenever we were at very short distance of each other, we were attracted to each other like magnets.
I pressed my lips together but it took me all my strength to move back a bit, making sure I wouldn't just kiss her right there, in the middle of a discussion.
"I know you want me to break things with Dylan, I'm just... Niall I'm not sure I trust you." she looked up and I saw she was tearing up. "You used to be the only person I really trusted and now? I don't know, Niall.."
"I know I've hurt you, I know I've broken your trust, but we deserve an other chance don't you think?"
She closed her eyes and swallowed hard but when she looked at me again, a tear fell from her right eye and she quickly wiped it.
"What exactly do you want, Niall?" she asked, sniffing.
"You! I want you!" I expressed a bit louder. "It's your heart I want Olivia!"
"Why? So you can break it again? Shatter it in pieces? Stomp on it?" she let out, her face twisting in pain. "Because I won't survive this an other time, Niall!"
"I would nev-"
"You'd never do that?" she cut me quickly. "Because I used to believe you'd never break my heart and then you did. So I'm just supposed to let go of the only guy who's ready to drop everything for me, for a guy who broke me before?"
"Who says i'm not ready to give up everything for you?"
We stayed in silence for a long time, just looking at each other as people laughed, talked and ran around us. We were the only static alive things in the park. Even the trees moved due to the small breeze and I focused on her parted lips and how she looked wordless because of my question.
"I need time." her voice was so low it was almost inaudible and I just nodded, feeling my heart twist in my chest. "I'm sorry again for the other day. I should have ran after you."
"I should have called you back then. I should have tried to get in contact with you. I should have told you that I missed you, that I still wanted you in my life. I should have told you my album was about you." I let out before taking a short pause. "I shouldn't have broken up with you."
Her head tilted and the left corner of her lips moved up a bit.
"And I should kiss you right now."
"But you won't." I just let out low.
"I won't."
I nodded and sighed, finally looking away.
"I'll give you all the time you need." I gave in, knowing I was going to have to be very patient. "But even if I understand your reluctance, I love you, and I hope you can trust me again."
I felt her fingertips brush on the top of my hand that was still gripping the back of the bench and held my breath at the feeling of her skin against mine.
"Me too."
                                                    ----
We decided to do the party at Louis and Olivia's and for some reason, I liked that idea. We had fooled Harry with the surprise by throwing colorful balloons at him and screaming 'Happy Birthday!" when he walked by the door and it was probably the cheesiest thing we ever did. Of course, Louis had proposed to play a prank on him where we would all ignore him all day but from what I had understood, Olivia had voted against it and apparently, she had a veto power or something.
"Who drank all the beer?" Louis asked in a loud voice after dinner. "I'm tired to drink your expensive wine, Livi, I want cheap beer and some nachos!"
"You are the most annoying person ever!" Olivia let out, rolling her eyes, before turning to Eleanor. "I don't know how you do it!"
El laughed as Louis glared at my ex girlfriend. "You're the one who lives with him!"
"Not for long again."
I frowned again and moved my chin in her direction. "Are you moving out?"
"No, Louis and I are going to move in together." Eleanor replied with a large smile as Olivia walked up to me.
She opened her lips to say something but Eleanor talked again and caught her attention.
"Did you drink? We could go buy beers maybe? Just so he shuts up!"
"Heyyy, I heard that!" Louis pointed out as El wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I can drive, no problem, I just had a glass of wine before dinner." Olivia shrugged, grabbing her hoodie and looking for her keys.
I wanted to propose to go with her but I knew it was a bad idea. Besides, Julie and Eleanor just grabbed their stuff and all the girls left, leaving me with Harry, Liam and a tipsy Louis. I don't know how the discussion turned from Harry being extra single at the moment to sexual encounters but I kept glancing by the window to see when they'd actually come back.
"I swear, that girl was crazy. She had me buy a whip and stuff." Harry rolled his eyes. "A real one too, like, it was insane."
"Don't even try, I bet you loved it. You're the kind of guy that makes us want to believe he's a dom but he's just really a sub." Louis laughed, raising his nose up with amusement. "The best kind of sex is just that first time you push yourself inside a girl that you've wanted for a long time. That my friend, is what bliss is all about."
"Or you know, a fucking good blowjob." Liam let out, making all of us laugh.
"I love when the girl lets me be a bit rough with her." Louis just added with a sly smile.
"Yea, Olivia loved a bit of a spank." Harry laughed, making me frown immediately.
I didn't like hearing about my ex girlfriend having sex with anyone, as hypocrite as it could sound. I also didn't want to be reminded that they fucked and dated, and most of all, it seemed extremely inappropriate to talk about one of our friends like that. Friend who could walk by the door at any moment.
"Oh yea, and a light choke, too."
This time, I frowned even more and turned to Louis who was laughing.
"And how exactly do you know that?" I asked a bit rudely, making him look at me.
"Relax, mate. She told me." he just explained with a shrug.
"So you never had sex with her?" I insisted just as meanly as the room fell silent. Everyone turned to Louis who remained motionless for a few seconds before clearing his throat and taking the cigarette he had placed behind his ear to light it up. I didn't really think they had but he knew so many things about her that it bothered me.
"Niall, come on."
His answer made my heart jump so high in my chest that I thought I was going to puke. If he hadn't had sex with her, he would have just said that, right?
"Did you fucking have sex with my girlfriend, Tomlinson?" I asked a bit louder, getting up quickly.
"EX girlfriend, Niall!" Louis frowned, getting up too, before pushing the smoke out of his lungs quickly. "You two were broken up."
I heard Harry curse but didn't send him a glance. All I could think about was Louis' hand wrapped around Olivia's neck as he fucked her and that made me feel even worse.
"You're a fucking hypocrite!" I almost yelled. "Telling how much of an asshole I was for sleeping around after breaking up with her while you were shagging her!"
"Oh I'M a hypocrite?" Louis frowned, tapping his chest a finger from the hand he was still holding his cigarette with before pointing at me. "Take a look at yourself! Being all mad that your ex girlfriend rode my cock while your dick dipped in so many vaginas you probably can't even remember half of them!"
I felt myself get so angry that I practically ran to him before being stopped by Liam, who acted like a shield between us. He placed his hands on my chest and tried to get my attention by moving his face in front of mine.
"Woa mate, no, don't."
I put my hands into two fists and squeezed them so hard I knew my knuckles had turned white and I felt them shaking. Why didn't anyone tell me that my ex girlfriend and one of my best friends had sex before?
"How many times?" I just asked in a low tone, waiting a few seconds to get an answer. Silence. "How many fucking times!?"
Louis didn't have time to answer. The door opened and the three girls walked in, laughing together. They all stopped when they saw us and Eleanor frowned, her eyes moving from me, to Louis and then Liam.
"Okay, what's wrong here."
My eyes found Olivia but she was looking at Louis with a questioning look. I turned to him as he shrugged a shoulder and his lips twisted in a small and guilty smile. Olivia sighed, rubbing her eyes, and that's when I realized there was one thing that bothered me more than them having sex. It was to realize that they were so close now that they could communicate without even talking.
I groaned slightly and stormed out of the room, trying to calm myself but I was pacing in the hall, pulling on my hair and letting out a few curse words under my breath.
"Nee."
I turned only to see Olivia stare at me with soft eyes but it didn't ease the anger inside me. I stopped walking and shut my eyes tight until I felt her hand take mine. My eyes fluttered open again as she stepped back slowly, bringing me to her room. I followed her, not really sure what she was doing, and she let go of my hand when we were inside.
"Please, close the door."
I sighed but finally did what she asked. We were standing together in the dark, very close to each other, but neither of us tried to touch the other or get closer.
"Can you turn the light on, please?"
Once again, I obeyed without a word and when her face appeared in front of me, I immediately imagined her naked on top of Louis. I looked away and closed my eyes, diving my hands in my pockets quickly and playing with the fabric inside of them, twisting it with my fingers.
"Louis told you, right? Is that why you're so mad?"
"Is that why i'm-" I repeated in a whisper. "Are you fucking serious?" I added louder.
"Niall, I was single, and he was single, and you were who knows where." she explained. Her words hurt me but her tone was soft. "I needed comfort, he needed comfort... You got comfort too, didn't you? With a few girls, I heard?"
"But not with any of your friends." I argued, shaking my head. "And I didn't have sex with as many girls as you seem to believe. Is that really what you think of me?"
Once again, the blame was turned towards me when in reality, i was the one who felt fucking betrayed by their behavior.
"Tell me, Olivia." I continued a bit roughly. "How many times did you let one of my best friends make you cum, uh? How many times did you allow him to fuck you so hard you'd forget about me?"
"That's the thing, Niall! I didn't forget about you! Not a fucking second!"
Her answer made my lips part and I stopped frowning. She took a step closer and once again, took my hand in hers, bringing it up to press her palm against mine before intertwining our fingers together.
"I love you, Niall." she whispered. "Having you so close to me all the time... it's making my body vibrate. I know it sounds stupid but it's true. I miss you. I miss everything we did."
My eyes roamed on her face and I licked my lips.
"You're trying to distract me from what I just learned, aren't you?" I asked low.
"No, I'm trying to tell you that it meant nothing. Not for him and not for me. He's the closest friend I have, and we shared that together in a few moments of desperation and intense sadness. I didn't make love with him, I only made love with you. In all my life."
"I only made love with you too." I admitted, squeezing her hand in mine as I watched her tear up.
"Really?" she asked in a whisper as I saw her break down.
"Yes of course, really." I repeated. "Did you doubt it?"
I watched her nod and sniff again. I couldn't wait for the day that the feelings I would bring inside her would only be good ones. I wanted to see her smile again, I wanted to make her happy. I had promised myself I would make her happiness my priority and once again, she was crying right in front of me.
"What can I do to make you smile, Olivia?"
She brought her free hand on my chest and let it slide gently over my shirt as she licked her lips.
"I know I said I needed time but, please, kiss me." she murmured, trying not to sob again. "Just kiss me."
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la5t-res0rt · 4 years
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fun fact fucko no one cares that he’s trans, gnc, or autistic. all they care about is that he said someone wasn’t bisexual all because they hate them. thats fucked up no matter who you are. being austistic isn’t an excuse to be an utter dick hole.
alrighty folks strap in because we are in for a long one today
to start off i will begin by saying that i care about the identities of people i like and call friends i care enough to listen and learn from them because they have different perspectives on issues that i as a person who is none of the things that this person is will ever understand
it is important to listen to people and learn from them not just shine a light out of your ass for someone out of a weird place of blind worship thats honestly so cringey but that isnt what this is about this about you and likely others harassing ad sending death threats my friend and comrade betel bitches
i will now be going under a readmore to spare the dashboard
so lets recap what exactly is he being harassed for
as you all are no doubt aware there is a blog called nether receipts where a certain user we shall not name catalogs instances where members of the beetlejuice fandom are harassed correction its a blog where this person catalogs instances where flaws in their character as well as the characters of the people around her are highlighted and critiqued with the occaisional off color remark and threat which i obviously do not approve of who would
anyway following reading some ill-informed and not-so-well-phrased comments from a certain narcissistic user about their sexuality my friend had this to say
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this was the post that got them put on this receipts blog which really exists as a source of people for a certain cluster of the beetlebabe fandom to harass and try to drag or cancel 
this is the post that has made people call him biphobic and here is why thats wrong and stupid
you said in your ask that he only is saying that this icky person is not bisexual because there is malice between them and while yes its true that there is malice orion never once said that this person wasnt bisexual
i took the liberty of sifting through the harassment asks he received yesterday because you all love receipts so much i took the liberty of grabbing a few and adding some highlights so you dont miss the important bits
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orion never once said this person isnt bisexual he stated that equating doing femme on femme  pornography to bisexuality is a biphobic statement and is in fact a problematic thing to say
there may be crossover between bisexual people and people who do femme on femme but they are far from the same thing doing pornography is a choice you actively make and you do it for compensation however being bisexual is simply part of who you are it is something you dont choose 
although this person would perhaps disagree
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and before you come for me this person posted these for the world to see and obviously i have as many receipts as my drive can carry furthermore how does this argument make sense why would you care so much about heterophobia if youre not heterosexual why are you so pressed oh wait is it perhaps
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because this person is using the split attraction model for woke points like this screams that this person sees women as sex objects or perhaps this person is comphet and is denying themselves because heteronormativity is so deeply ingrained in their being that they wish to cling to heterosexuality to keep up their squeaky clean white feminist woman persona or maybe theyre just not well informed on lgbt+ issues
editors note the editor is an ace person who considers using the split attraction model is situations like this isnt exactly helpful like i cant stop you from doing it but you shouldnt have to say im a bisexual heteromantic person you can just be a  bisexual woman and keep dating men you dating men doesnt erase your bisexuality saying that you would have sex with a woman but not romantically be involved with them makes the editor think woman = sex object and as a feminist the editor has to say thats fucked up
i will reiterate implying that doing pronography of any kind is equitable to a human sexualty is harmful to bisexual people and if youre like uhhh im bi and i think its okay guess what you do not speak for every single bi person so you should try harder to be compassionate for other peoples level of comfort
in any case statements like these are hurtful to bi people equating voluntary sex work to a sexuality isnt okay and its something that person should maybe address and consider apologizing for but since this person only listens to people in their inner circle and they dont even really listen to them its unlikely that this person will ever make amends for past biphobic tendencies because as everyone has been so quick to point out being bi doesnt excuse biphobia or homophobia or anything of the sort editors note heterophobia is not a legitimate issue im sorry if you feel oppressed for your straightness but really thats a you issue 
here is one more screenshot where my friend basically covers what i have just said as well as reminding the world that the owner of nether receipts is a narcissist 
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being a bisexual person does not excuse you from saying biphobic things and there is literally no identifier you can use for yourself that exempts you from criticism for your actions and it doesnt mean that people cant demand that you address the wrongs youve done or said
you dont have to listen you dont have to do anything but dont be surprised if you say something shitty to a group of people and they get mad at you
also all that being said what orion said was not biphobic if anything he is raephobic but lets be honest who isnt ok there thats my one funny haha for you
we have every right to criticize someone who creates simulated cp and shares it with minors in 18+ servers or someone who equated bisexuality to voluntary sex work or someone who accuses people who disagree with them of being fascists or nazis or someone who goes out of their way to repost and edit art in a mocking manner or someone who actively claims to own a fandom like these are all critique worthy behaviors that all come from the same person who never explains their actions never holds themselves accountable for the shit they cause like we as people who share the same space as this person have every write to call bull roar when we see it
it is no secret that i dislike his person and it is also no secret that i will not hesitate to the the opportunity to drag them for being a shitty person whenever the opportunity arises and since their most recent beef with me was about how i was a bad friend i guess i figured this would be a good time to come forward for one of my friends who received dozens of harassment messages and several death threats over his commentary on the actions of this one vile individual
and i am addressing them now if they ever end up reading this or when it is inevitably sent to this person 
if youve got a problem with the way he and i or other antis critique you maybe come out from behind your wall of dipshit cronies and talk to us your damn self i am very sick of having to deal with nasti or morgan or that one minor or suz or that person that runs the rp blog or any of the others in your little hoard im tired of them trying to be slick like we see you we see all of you
all of your simulated cp aside youve said some really shitty things that you could easily amend since youve likely learned more about what it means to be lgbt+ since it is now a community you see yourself being a part of 
part of being human is learning from your past and making a better version of yourself for tomorrow and although i think you are a really awful person i dont think youre above self betterment and self reflection and self awareness 
also you dont seem to care at all when threats are being tossed around by your buddies but no matter how much me or orion or any of the others dislike what you do no person in their right mind would be okay with sending death threats and you shouldnt either you should at the very least extend that courtesy 
anyway
fuck you asker youre full of trash garbage and i hope you have a not so good day like i hope it rains or something invalidate my friends identity and ill yell at clouds
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precuredaily · 4 years
Text
Precure Day 191
Episode: Yes! Precure 5 42 - “Rin and Karen’s Secret Promise” Date watched: 1 June 2020 Original air date: 2 December 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/FiOgssJ Transformation Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/6k6SzS0 Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout
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Just a couple of gals being pals: part 2
Karen and Rin seem like an odd pair of friends. This has been pointed out before by me, and by the show itself. In a way, they resemble Nagisa and Honoka from the first series, so while they don’t share as tight of a bond as the original duo, they do have a unique closeness in that “opposites attract” kind of way. Today we’re going to explore that a little more!
The Plot
It’s now December so the girls get to decorating Natts House for the Christmas season sale. Everyone contributes in their way to make sure it looks immaculate, but they forgot to get flowers, so Nozomi voluntells resident flower experts Rin and Karen to go get some.
In Nightmare, Hadenya mocks Bunbee for his constant failure and reminds him that failures usually get the Black Paper. (remember this for next episode)
Rin and Karen arrive at Fleuriste Natsuki, only for Rin’s mom to ask Rin to tend to the shop so she can pick up the twins. Since Rin is stuck, she suggests Karen take the flowers back to Natts House by herself, but Karen offers to stay and help as well. Rin doesn’t think she’s up to the task, but Karen proves her capacity when she helps some customers while Rin is tied up with a phone order. Karen impresses Rin with her knowledge, and Rin impresses Karen with her people skills. Since they’ve been gone a while, Komachi begins to worry about them back at Natts House, and Urara fears they may have gotten into another fight over flowers. Nozomi, however, has full confidence in her decision to send both of them together and tells the others not to worry. Rin and Karen continue to work side by side, and at the end of the shift, Karen observes that Rin is really passionate about flowers, in a more tender way than herself, and tells Rin she could do this for a career. Rin admits that while she certainly enjoys helping out at the shop and playing sports, she doesn’t see them as future careers, and she has no real dream for the future. Karen admits to Rin that she’s in the same boat, even though she’s able to apply herself fully to any task, she struggles with identifying an actual long-term goal for the future. They each compliment Nozomi, Urara, and Komachi in their ability to find and work towards a dream so steadfastly. Then, Rin proposes that they make a promise: whenever one of them finds a dream, they’ll tell the other first. Karen agrees and they share a smile. Unknown to them, Bunbee is around the corner and overhears their conversation, silently mocking their shared goal.
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A little later, the pair are on the way back to Natts House, each with flowers in tow, when Bunbee intercepts them, turning some falling leaves into a giant leaf Kowaina. Rin and Karen quickly transform into Cures Rouge and Aqua and start to battle the Kowaina but it overpowers them. Bunbee suggests that, since they have no dreams, they are in despair and should join Nightmare to gain more power. They rebuke him and vow to find their dreams someday. They argue back and forth with Bunbee about the validity and importance of hopes and dreams, similar to Nozomi’s fight with Despariah in episode 39, but he manages to kick them around. Nozomi, Urara, and Komachi arrive in time to tell him that their friends would NEVER fall to despair, and they transform into Precure. They kick the Kowaina a few times, but despite being a leaf, it’s very sturdy. They then turn back to the ideological debate with Bunbee, speaking of the important things they’ve learned from their friends Rin and Karen. Mint recalls the tiara that Rin made for the wedding (ep 32) and Milk remembers how Karen took care of her when she was sick (ep 34). Both instances displayed some true passion and sincerity, and it fosters a realization in Rouge and Aqua. They stand back up, newly energized by the amount of appreciation and support that their friends hold for them, and together they perform Rouge Burning and Aqua Tornado, destroying the Kowaina. Bunbee flees.
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Back at Natts House, everyone admires the flowers Rin and Karen brought, but there is some latent curiosity about why they brought two different types: cyclamen and cattleya. Rin explains that they both felt two types would be better than just one, and Nozomi is happy about their choice. While the other three are busy, Karen confides in Rin that she may have found her dream, and Rin admits the same. They dance around admitting that it was the others’ strong words that made them realize how happy they felt working for others in the ways they did, and the audience is left to try to piece together exactly what their newfound dreams are for themselves. (don’t worry, we’ll get find out soon enough.) The episode closes on a shot of the flower arrangements.
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The Analysis
Rin and Karen are a really fun duo to watch. I honestly do think it’s because they remind me of Nagisa and Honoka a lot. One is a short-haired working class sporty tomboy with feminine interests, the other is a long-haired intellectual from a wealthy family with absentee parents, and both are well-respected by other students. Before becoming Precure, they had little reason to interact, but now they’re friends. Obviously, the team dynamic means their friendships are different, but out of all the pairs of friends in this series, Rin and Karen bear the strongest resemblance to the originals. Regardless, I genuinely enjoy seeing them come closer, admiring and complimenting each other’s work, and opening up to admit that they don’t have dreams yet (another trait they share with their predecessors). Their promise to tell each other first if they find a dream is really sweet, and even Nozomi and Rin don’t have that kind of a friendship. I just love seeing their bond deepen here.
Unfortunately, the villain plot of this episode doesn’t do a whole lot to help, not in my view. I will always stand up for the girls standing up for the importance of hopes and dreams, which is what they’re doing here, but it just comes down to the same argument they had with Despariah a few episodes ago, or with Bloody the last episode: “Dreams are important!” “No they’re not, I’ll beat you!” until the girls prove that their friendship is actually more powerful. The kowaina is quite strange. It’s a giant leaf, but it’s as sturdy as a brick wall, but Bunbee does most of the fighting while the kowaina just stands around. To his credit, Bunbee is a pretty good fighter, with a devastating dropkick that incapacitates both clusters of girls, but fortunately everybody’s support for Rouge and Aqua inspires them to stand back up and finish off the monster. However, this episode also reinforces a running trend that’s been developing over the series, since the reform of Nightmare’s Dream Collet division: their opinion of Bunbee is in the toilet, and his constant losses do nothing to change this. In fact, this is the last time Bunbee will see the battlefield this season, as the next couple episodes will be fought by Hadenya and Bloody, and then Kawarino during the endgame. It was an alright final fight, but he didn’t use the full range of his abilities, particularly his projectiles, which would have been nice to see.
The best aspect to come out of this is that the Rin and Karen do finally start to realize their future dreams. They’re not expressed out loud quite yet, but this is also a 13 year-old series so I’m going to go ahead and reveal that Rin decides to pursue making jewelry and Karen wants to be a doctor. When you look at their past, it becomes pretty clear. Rin has had a penchant for it since she showed off the bracelet maker way back when, while Karen took her first steps way back in episode 6, when she was able to transform by realizing she wanted to help everyone. That’s the spirit she’s carried all season, and now she’s figured out how she can translate that into her goals for the future. I think it’s particularly great how it was choice words from their friends that made them realize what they love doing. Sometimes it takes that external push, people appreciating your passion when you don’t recognize it about yourself. I struggled with that for a long time, and while I knew kind of where I wanted to end up, a friend’s words definitely helped point me in the right direction. It’s good to see Precure do this, and it will be enjoyable to see how these characters grow and develop their dreams from here, over the rest of this season and the next one.
Some minor aspects I enjoyed were in the opening sequence, when they’re all decorating Natts House. Urara is trying to get position some spotlights just right on a display, because as a performer she knows how the right lighting can influence opinion. Komachi sets out a poem of hers intended to greet guests, and she gets flustered when Karen reads it. It goes:
“A holy day, a holy night. What sort of sky lies above you---... Once again, I wander in search Of you in the sea of stars this night...”
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translation not guaranteed to be perfect
Also, Nuts is a total Scrooge, grumbling about how he doesn’t see the point of Christmas. Coco says the girls are enjoying it so it can’t be all bad, and Nozomi informs him that it’s a really important holiday for young girls. (Christmas in Japan is a big night for couples to spend time together.)
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And the last bit is a little continuity, they use a Pinky named Clearkuman to copy fliers advertising their Christmas sale. This might be the only Pinky to recur, as it was seen doing the same task way back in episode 10. Also, I don’t think I’ve commented on the cards before that they use to summon Pinkies out of the Dream Collet, so here’s a look:
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It’s just so transparently a toy, with the barcode and CARD IN on it. This is about the last chance they have to get kids to ask their parents for this big ticket item before Christmas, and then in 2 months the Rose Pact will be the hot new toy to have instead. So it goes.
All jokes aside, this was a solid episode with some characters I love spending time with and seeing grow, both because they remind me of the original pair and because they’re great in their own right. Next time, we turn our focus back to Komachi and her struggles with authorship. Look forward to it, it’s going to hurt.
Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 3 kettei!
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dirtydobrik · 5 years
Text
you aren’t here to kiss me - d.d.
plot: the reader and David get into an explosive fight on New Year’s Eve, resulting them spending the night (and many of the following days) apart. 
author’s note: hi! this story is inspired by the song “you ain’t here to kiss me” by brett young. it has a bit of angst, but i’m not the best at writing fight scenes because i like when the characters and stories get happy endings, so this is an attempt. i hope you guys enjoy reading my work!
word count: 2.25k
read part two: can’t say goodbye
masterlist
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"David, I'm not having this fight with you right now," you sighed, throwing clothes into your suitcase. This was the third time you two would have had this fight in the last week, and you couldn’t even count how many times you've had it in the past.
You and Dave had flown to Chicago for Christmas and your friends had landed yesterday to spend New Year's Eve with David's hometown friends.
This fight was one you two had fairly often: his vlog. For months you've been complaining that you feel like he does certain things just for content, and a few days ago you had mentioned that you think the Christmas present he had gotten you was just for him to get a reaction for his vlog. He had gotten you a silver Cartier ring that matched the ones he had, but your ring had an engraving in it, the date you two had started dating and his initials.
"It's a promise ring," Dave grinned as you helped it up and gasped.
"Oh my god, I love it," you said in a whisper. "And you. God, I love you."
"I love you too, babe." he beamed, taking the ring from your hand and sliding it on to your right ring finger. He leaned in planted a kiss on your lips.
As you admired the ring on your finger, you noticed that David's camera was recording, and your stomach dropped a little. Of course he was recording an intimate moment between you two.
"Oh, I almost forgot," David said, pulling you back into reality. "I wanted to get you a little something else, too." He handed you an envelope. Inside were two plane tickets to Aspen. "I know your dream vacation is to go skiing on the Swiss Alps, but since I can't leave the country, I figured Aspen was our best bet," he grinned.
"Dave," you started. You were overwhelmed by the gifts, and you genuinely appreciated them, but part of you couldn't get over the fact that he was filming it. It felt insincere, like he only wanted to get a reaction for his vlog. But it was Christmas, and you didn't want to fight, so you didn't bring it up. "Thank you so much. I love you, bub."
"I love you more," David whispered, snuggling up next to you.
"This makes my present for you seem super lame," you giggled, resting your head on his chest.
"Nothing is ever lame if it comes from the best girlfriend ever," he smiled, kissing your forehead.
You had forgotten that you wanted to talk to David about recording your reaction until he asked you to watch his vlog before he posted it and he had included the clip.
"Do you have to put that in?" you asked quietly, looking down at him.
"Do you not want me to?" he asked, and you knew he would take it out if you told him to.
"It's just," you sighed, trying to figure out what to say. "It was a personal moment between the two of us, bub. And sometimes I think you forget that not everything you do has to be for the vlog." 
"Babe, I didn't put the clip in. What are you mad about?" he argued.
"God, David, that isn't the point!" you shouted, turning to face him. "You never even answered my question. Did you only get me the ring for your vlog?"
David hesitated to answer the question, which you took as a yes, even though he had answered with a no. Your heart shattered.
"Fuck you, and your vlog. We're done!" you shout, pulling the ring from your finger and throwing it onto the floor. You grabbed your phone and purse and sprinted out of the room, David quickly following behind you.
He quickly caught up to you, begging for you to talk to him in the elevator ride down to the lobby. Instead you called an Uber and ignored him.
You stood outside in the freezing cold Chicago winter, realizing you didn't have your jacket. You didn’t have anything with you as a matter of fact aside from your purse. David was still next to you, and he pulled his hoodie off and handed it to you. As much as you didn't want to take it, a small part of you did. You gave him a small smile as you put the sweatshirt on, but still not wanting to talk to him.
"Can you at least tell me where you're going?" he begged.
"Home,"  you answered coldly. He didn’t know if you meant back to LA or to your parents' house, and to be honest, you didn't know either.
When your Uber arrived, you climbed in without saying anything to David. As soon as you shut the door, you started to cry. Looking out the window, you noticed David standing outside sobbing. This felt like the beginning of the end of your relationship, and as mad as you were with him, you weren't ready to say goodbye.
It was just after 9 o'clock when you got to the airport, and you bought a ticket to San Francisco, since that flight would be boarding in 20 minutes. It was also a good distraction, since David most likely assumed you would be going to LA, and you were, you just didn't want to go there right now, in case he came to the airport in search of you.
You quietly boarded your flight, finding your seat. It was a window seat, the rest of the row being empty. The plane was half empty, with couples scattered about, including an annoying one in front of you. They were driving you crazy with all the kissing and cuddling they were doing, but it reminded you so much of you and David whenever you traveled together, and your heart ached for him. 
The flight attendant came around handing out glasses of champagne just before midnight to cheers to the new year, and as you took a boomerang for your Instagram story, you realized that you won't share a new year's kiss with David, and your heart breaks. You posted your boomerang, saying "Flying solo with only this glass of champagne to kiss at midnight." And shortly after you posted, you began getting calls and texts from your friends wondering where you are and why you aren’t in Chicago, but you ignore them. You aren’t in the mood to explain anything, and you most definitely overreacted to the situation. There was no reason you should be sitting on a flight alone instead of sharing a kiss with your boyfriend.
The pilot came on the intercom and did a countdown to the new year, and you wanted to cry. You buried yourself in Dave's hoodie, wishing he was here with his arms wrapped around you. You watched the couples around the plane share sweet kisses with each other, and you downed your glass of champagne. A few minutes later, you asked the flight attendant for something stronger, and she poured you two vodka sodas.
"Going through a break up?" she asked sympathetically, handing over one of the drinks. You weren't sure how to answer that. Technically you and David didn't break up, but this was by far the worst fight you two had ever had. You told her you didn't want to talk about it, and she continued on down the aisle.
When you landed, you booked a flight to LA. That flight didn't leave until 7am, so you have time to kill. You thought about calling David, telling him that you overreacted, but you couldn't. You weren't in the headspace to do that. When you finally landed in LA, you decided to talk to someone.  You called an Uber and sent Natalie a text, asking her to tell David that you were in LA and that you still didn't want to talk to him. She immediately called you.
"What's going on?" she asked. "Dave didn't tell me you left Chicago. He said you weren't feeling well and didn't want to come out, so he stayed in too, but he locked me out of his hotel room. At least, until we saw your Instagram story. He called me as soon as he saw it."
"Are you with him now?" you asked, suddenly afraid that he would be listening to everything you said.
"Yes, but he's in the shower. He bawled like a baby to me earlier, you know. He thinks you left him forever."
"We got into a fight and I overreacted. It was stupid and wrong. I would never leave him, I just couldn't." You were fighting back tears at this point, wanting so badly to just hug David and apologize. "Can you tell him that I'm sorry and that I love him when he wakes up? And that I'll talk to him when he gets back to LA. I don't want to ruin the rest of his trip."
"Yes, I'll tell him, but you should really be the one to tell him. He won't trust it if it's coming from me."
"I know, but I can’t think straight right now. I don't know if I'll be able to say anything."
"Are you sure? He just got out of the shower, I can put him on the phone," she suggested, but you rejected it. "At least send him a text, he needs to hear it from you that you're okay," she said before you two exchanged goodbyes and hung up the phone.
After finishing your phone call with Natalie, you contemplated sending David a text, but you couldn't. You knew you had to be the one to reach out to him first, since you were the one who left him. You knew he was debating with himself about whether or not he should call or text you, and he had most likely decided against it, assuming you didn't want to talk to him. But you so badly wanted to say something to him, so you did: hi bub, i love you and i miss you and im sorry. i just need some space. talk to you soon. 
A few minutes later, you got a screenshot from Natalie of her and David’s text conversation. David said he would be staying in Vernon Hills until the end of the week to give himself time to clear his head. 
The next few days felt endless without having David by your side. He had missed his last upload, posting an instagram story saying he was sick and still at home so he didn’t have time to film anything, and that the next vlog would be up when he was back in LA. You knew David was spending some time away from vlogging and was with his family. The family you had been with just over a week ago. They had welcomed you in with open arms, and now you were responsible for breaking David’s heart.  
Natalie had given you a heads up that David was flying home today. You just wanted to hug him and tell him that you loved him and missed him. 
The next day around 7pm, you headed over to David’s house. You needed to talk to him, and from what your friends were saying, he wasn’t talking to anyone. You had given him a day of being back in LA before ambushing him. You sat in your car for almost thirty minutes before working up the courage to knock on the front door. Standing out on his front steps, you almost turned around after knocking, not entirely sure you were ready to face him. But you swallowed your pride and fiddled with your fingers while you waited for someone to open the door. David walked up to the door, confused as to why you were here. 
“Can we talk?” you asked in a low whisper. 
“Why? You said we were done.” David said, staring blankly at you. His eyes were empty, there wasn’t a flicker of hope in them. He was wearing gray sweatpants and a black hoodie, and it looked like he hadn’t showered or shaved in days.  
“I was angry and upset. I didn’t mean it,” you plead, looking for any sign of remorse from him. 
“You left the fucking state!” he shouted, startling you. David hardly ever raised his voice at you. “You can’t just run away when something goes wrong! Yes, you had every right to be mad at me, but God, you can’t just disappear on me.” 
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, tears flowing down your face by now. David’s cold eyes softened, he hated seeing you cry. Without saying anything, David wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in for a hug. You were sobbing at this point, and you knew he was crying too. “I’m so sorry.”
David didn’t know what to say. He was still in love with you, but he wasn’t sure he could be with you. It was his turn to say it. “I love you, I really do. But, I need space. You should go.”
Your arms dropped from around his waist and you stepped backwards. This couldn’t be the end, you wouldn’t let it. But this wasn’t a decision for you to make. You were the one who left, and you were the one who had to walk away until David decided he wanted you back in his life. So that’s exactly what you did. You walked away. 
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jooheonspinky · 5 years
Text
The Truth Untold
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Image credit: Screenshot from Fake Love (BTS-Fake Love) BTS Comeback Show 180524
Characters: Jimin x Female Reader
Genre: Angst Synopses: Hiding behind a mask (literally and figuratively), a man keeps himself away in his home in the country. He spends his days tending a garden where in which blooms beautiful flowers that attract a new neighbor. Her presence forces him to face himself. Could he change for her and be the man she insists he is or will he continue to hide behind his mask?
                                         ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
Part 1
 Word count: 1.5K
Full of loneliness
     This garden bloomed
          Full of thorns
               I bind myself in this sand castle
 The days ran the same for Park Jimin, just as they had for the past 10 years. Planting his feet on the floor, he hung his head and stared at the intricate patterns on the rug through the fringe of his hair. Though morning had come and it was the start of a new day, he was already thinking of curling back into his bed to continue to sleep.
Did he really have to get out of bed? There was no one here to tell him otherwise, so did he really have to?
Sighing heavily he heaved himself up, languidly making his way to the chamber pot. His eyes briefly met his own in the mirror above the water basin and he flinched, disgusted by what he saw. Eyes downcast, he removed the pitcher from the basin and poured the water in. He splashed the tepid water over his face and neck before he brushed his teeth. He relieved himself, then shaved the scruff on his face he’d caught a glimpse of before he’d looked away from his reflection.
Once done he was ready for his morning coffee. As he padded across the cool stone flooring, his sight fell upon the black hooded cloak at the end of the hall. He shivered in repulsion knowing his mask was amongst its folds.
He despised the thing. It was a constant reminder of the black hole that had become his life simply for being who he was. How he wished he could be liberated from it, but to do so would mean certain death for him.
Perhaps that would not be such a bad outcome after all, he thought bitterly before he reached the hearth in his vast kitchen. He was quick to start a fire, hanging a pot of water over the flames. There was no one here to assist him in these everyday duties. No kitchen maid or housekeeper. He was master here as well as servant.
Unhurriedly, he scooped a few spoon full of coffee grounds into a cheese cloth he had sown around a looped wire. Twirling it tightly he then set it gently into the now bubbling water, the uncovered metal of the hoop hanging outside of the pot. While the coffee was brewing, he buttered a chunk of bread, adding cheese, and then stepped outside to check if any correspondence had arrived.
There was only one person who wrote him. Only one person who knew of his true identity. The only other person who knew of his existence was dead to him.
Finding no letters at his front stoop, he returned, setting his breakfast and coffee on his thick wooden table. He sat then and ate. The quiet of the house, his only companion, surrounded him. Him sipping at the bitter hot liquid was the only sound. When he was through with his breakfast, he washed the few dishes he’d used, tossed the coffee grounds out, then peered out of the kitchen window to the flower garden he’d worked on for nearly four years now.
It was the only thing that kept him sane, though he felt as if he didn’t deserve it. When his fingers delved into the moist dark soil he felt alive again. When he tilled and prepped the earth, it was as if he was comforted, his horrid past washed away. For him, it was as if the growth of each flower that bloomed told him that not all was lost, not all was ugly… but the moment he stepped back into the house, a shadow crept in across his heart and all was back to how it was every day for him: desolate and dark.
                                         ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
 What is your name
     Do you have a place to go
          Oh could you tell me?
               I saw you hiding in this garden
 A movement at the far edge of his garden caught his attention and he froze, his heart instantly picking up speed. Had he been found? Would he have to leave now? His chest heaved as panic began to set in. This was the longest he’d been able to stay in one place. Being this far out in the countryside, away from the hustle and bustle of the town, kept him pretty much isolated. Had someone discovered the identity of the young man that lived there, whom wore a mask to greet those that dared come to his door?
He leaned closer to the window, the kitchen counter biting into his abdomen as he stretched forward for a better look. The messenger boy had already come through at daybreak. He was not due to come again for another day. Who could be out there?
And then he saw her. A young woman sitting on his stone hedge gazing appreciatively at the vast array of colorful flowers. There were roses, peonies, and smeraldos to name a few. Her eyes then followed the butterflies that fluttered around, one alighting gently on the velvety petals of an open blood red rose to drink of the nectar. Her lips parted merrily and he imagined a very delicate giggle of delight that might come from her throat as she reveled in the magnificence of his garden.
He’d never seen a more beautiful woman in his life. Who was she? Where did she come from? Jimin did not recall having seen her before, but then again rare was the time he actually took much notice of those around him in town as he was always in a rush to get back home. 
She looked up towards the kitchen window causing Jimin to instinctively jerk back, hiding himself in the shadows of his home. He watched her head tilt curiously as she squinted. Had she seen him? He didn’t believe so. The young woman hopped off of his fence, her loose hair bouncing behind her as she jogged towards a chestnut colored mare he hadn’t noticed before. His eyes followed her as she expertly mounted the animal, then urged it leisurely away from his home.
He relaxed when she became naught but a dark speck in the distance. He would give it a few days to see if any other strangers came by. He would certainly pack some essentials and keep them nearby in case he had to leave in a rush, he was no fool, but his instincts told him he was not in danger of her knowing who he was. Yet, there was a stirring in his chest, something akin to longing, and somehow that seemed just as dangerous.
                                         ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
And I know
     All of your warmth is real
         The blue flower your hand was picking
               I want to hold it but
The young woman returned twice more. Each time she was alone, save for her gentle mare who always waited for her patiently. The woman would sit on his hedge, her eyes flitting over his aromatic florals. The tightness in her face would soon relax as she sat there for an hour. It was as if his garden provided her the same peace he felt when he tended to it.
He’d watched as she’d hopped over the barrier and into his garden and walked amongst the blooms. Her fingertips brushed against the petals and she smiled as if she shared secrets with the very flowers that she passed. Finding much interest particularly on one of the blue ones, a smeraldo, she plucked it and he wondered what it would be like to hold the same hand that held the exquisite flower.
Tearing his gaze away from the window he knew he shouldn’t want such things. Someone as beautiful as she should be free to be out amongst nature without the fear of harm befalling her because of the very man standing at her side. Someone as free spirited as she should not be locked up in a house to wilt away.
No. He would do best to shake such foolish thoughts from his mind. Lying on the settee he closed his eyes, deciding to take a nap until he was certain she was gone.
A knock echoed throughout the bottom floor just as his head hit the cushion. He jolted back up to his feet, dashing to the foyer to snatch up his cloak. He flung it on quickly, mask held in his hand as he reached the front door in a few rushed strides.
Trying to stay as quiet as possible, the raven haired young man pressed his ear to the door and held his breath.
“Hello!” A most angelic voice penetrated through the door and entered straight into his soul. What spell was this woman weaving over him? “Hello? Is the mistress or master of this home available?”
He pressed his palm against the coolness of the wood willing her to stay and speak more. He already knew her voice would haunt his dreams for many nights to come.
But she didn’t stay. At no one answering her calls, the young woman returned back around the home, mounted her horse and left, blue flower clutched in her hand.
                                         ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
Thank you for reading. This has been a long time coming. This is one of my favorite songs and I immediately came up with this story when I first heard it. Unfortunately it took me almost two years to write this because I kept getting writers block. I’m so happy to have finally finished it after all this time. Let me know what you think.
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lastsonlost · 5 years
Text
Just when you thought this story could not get any more disgusting.
Now we have one slimy disgusting trash person being offended by a whole group of slimy disgusting trash people.
The Des Moines Register reporter fired in the wake of a scandal involving offensive tweets — posted by a viral star he interviewed and then his own — broke his silence Friday, telling BuzzFeed News he had been “abandoned” by the newspaper after following standard editorial practice by performing a social media search on the person he was profiling.
“This event basically set my entire life on fire,” reporter Aaron Calvin said.
Calvin, 27, was dismissed by the Iowa newspaper Thursday evening following criticism online in the wake of his article about 24-year-old casino security worker Carson King.
On Sept. 14 at the Iowa State University vs. University of Iowa football game in Ames, King had appeared in the background of ESPN’s College GameDay holding a sign that said “Busch Light Supply Needs Replenished,” along with his Venmo handle. After King received $600, he announced he would instead donate his growing beer fund to a local children’s hospital. The fundraiser soon went viral, and Venmo and Anheuser-Busch offered to match the donations. King wound up raising over $1 million, and he was quickly catapulted into being a local legend and viral internet hero.
Upon the fundraiser hitting the million-dollar mark, Calvin decided to profile King, whom he’d already covered in several stories. But soon Calvin, who worked as a BuzzFeed employee between 2013 and 2014, found two racist tweets King had posted when he was 16. Calvin wrote that the tweets, which have since been deleted, were jokes “comparing black mothers to gorillas and another making light of black people killed in the Holocaust.”
Calvin told BuzzFeed News it’s standard practice at the Des Moines Register to background check people they profile through court records and social media. “I was reminded by an editor to background Carson...and I found a few tweets that he published in high school that were racist jokes,” he said. “I knew if I found them, other people would find them as well.”
Des Moines Register executive editor Carol Hunter declined to comment for this story, but referred BuzzFeed News to an op-ed she published in which she called “backgrounding” an “essential” part of reporting. “The process helps us to understand the whole person,” she wrote.
Calvin said his editors told him to ask King about the tweets, so he did. "He was deeply regretful, and I recognized that these were not representative artifacts of Carson,” Calvin said.
In writing his profile, Calvin said he decided to include just a “brief mention of these tweets and his apology at the bottom of this profile, after the glowing synopsis of his charity.” The reporter said he felt an obligation to share the information he’d uncovered with the public, but thought he did so in a “thoughtful” way that showed the tweets no longer showed King’s worldview.
He also maintained he did this with the full blessing and awareness of senior editors. “Throughout this entire process of the discovery and inclusion of the tweets, the editor knew, the editorial board knew, and the executive editor knew how I’d included them and handled them for the article, and as far as I knew, approved of that,” he said.
On Tuesday night, before the profile was published, King held a press conference to apologize for the tweets, which he said had been found by a reporter. He said he wrote the posts when he was a high school sophomore and had been making reference to the show Tosh.0.
“In re-reading it today — eight years later — I see it was an attempt at humor that was offensive and hurtful,” he continued. “I am embarrassed and stunned to reflect on what I thought was funny when I was 16 years old. I want to sincerely apologize.”
Anheuser-Busch cut ties with King after the press conference. King said he did not blame Calvin, saying that he appreciated that he’d pointed out the tweets and had simply wanted to apologize. “The Des Moines Register has been nothing but kind in all of their coverage, and I appreciate the reporter pointing out the post to me,” he tweeted.
Upon publishing the story, Calvin said he was immediately met with criticism from people across Iowa who accused him of trying to denigrate a local hero.
But any media ethics debate about the newsworthiness of tweets written by someone when they were a teenager was soon swept aside by a tidal wave of harassment, doxing, and death threats Calvin received.
Soon, influential right-wing media figures also began circulating screenshots of Calvin’s own past offensive tweets that had been uncovered. In posts dating back to 2010, Calvin had used “gay” as a pejorative, written “fuck all cops,” and spelled out the word “niggas” twice when he was quoting others, including a Kanye West lyric. “Now that gay marriage is legal,” he wrote in one 2012 tweet, “I’m totally going to marry a horse.”
Calvin told BuzzFeed News these were “frankly embarrassing” tweets that he “would not have published today,” but said they had been “taken out of context” and were being used to “wield disingenuous arguments against me.”
Calvin said editors at the Des Moines Register directed him to apologize in a tweet, which he said he agreed to do because he was “afraid and just trying to comply with what I was being told so I could possibly hold onto my job.”
In the tweet, Calvin apologized for “not holding myself to the same high standards as The Register holds others.”
“I regret publishing that tweet now,” Calvin told BuzzFeed News. “Because I was never trying to hold Carson to any kind of ‘higher standard’ or any kind of standard at all. I was trying to do my job as a reporter, and I think I did so to the best of my ability.”
As soon as the story broke, Calvin said he began receiving a barrage of death threats. He said HR reps at Gannett, which owns the Des Moines Register, forbade him from speaking to the media and told him to leave his apartment for his own safety. They offered to put him up in a hotel, but he stayed with a friend instead.
“I recognize that I’m not the first person to be doxed like this — this whole campaign was taken up by right-wing ideologues and largely driven by that force,” he said. “It was just a taste of what I assume that women and journalists of color suffer all the time, but the kind of locality and regional virality of the story made it so intense.”
On Thursday, while he was speaking to police about the death threats, Calvin said he got a call from Gannett representatives. “They told me they were going to offer me an option — that I could resign or I could be fired — with no severance,” he said. “It was really a semantic difference, I guess, so I chose to be fired.”
A Gannett spokesperson told BuzzFeed News the company does not comment on personnel matters.
In her op-ed, Hunter, the executive editor, wrote they were now evaluating how reporters perform background checks on subjects and what information should be published from those checks. She said their focus was partly on “the shift in social media culture and how activities on those platforms reflect upon a person’s newsworthiness in general.”
With regard to Calvin’s firing, Hunter wrote that they “took appropriate action because there is nothing more important in journalism than having readers’ trust.”
King did not respond to a request for comment on Calvin’s dismissal.
Calvin said he hasn’t heard from Gannett or his newsroom leaders since his firing, but said some of his former coworkers have reached out in support.
Though Calvin said he regrets his tweets, he thinks they were taken out of context by bad actors to make him look like a racist and homophobe. “As I said when I was speaking with Carson, I don’t think people’s past social media statements should be made to make blanket characterizations about them,” he said.
He also expressed his frustration about the “false narrative about me ‘canceling’ Carson.”
“Carson was never in danger of being canceled — there was no attempt or intent to quote-unquote ‘cancel’ him,’” Calvin said. “He’s raised hundreds of thousands more dollars since this happened. The governor of Iowa declared a ‘Carson King Day.’”
(“You can make a mistake in your life, and still go on to do amazing things,” Gov. Kim Reynolds tweeted Wednesday. “@CarsonKing2, thank you for reminding us all of that! #IowaProud.”)
Calvin said he’s still afraid to go out in public and is still staying at his friend’s house. He isn’t sure what he will do next, but hopes he can keep reporting.
“I’m just taking it day by day,” he said. “I feel like I’m a good writer and a good reporter and I was doing my job to the best of my ability.”
Calvin said he also still deeply believes in the “necessity of local journalism.”
“Frankly, it’s really disappointing to me to be abandoned by my former employer,” he said. “I still in a lot of ways support the Register — I just wish they had believed in me.”
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Have you ever read so much bullshit that it made you almost vomit in your mouth?
This motherfucker just try to roast a man's life and is now trying to play the victim after he got a dose of his own hypocritical medicine.
Also BuzzFeed is in rare form today. We have both the right-wing Boogeyman, online harassment and women and people of color being in votes for pity points.
Did you ever see obvious manipulation look so obvious?
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boyfriend-cal · 5 years
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can you write something about being calum's best friend as a kid but one of you leaves the other one and then you reunite as teenagers or young adults?
ok so this is kinda weird that I’m relating it to this but I saw The Lion King last night and I love Simba & Nala’s reunion. here we go
word count: just over 1k bc idk how to shut up
(friendly reminder: taglist, masterlist, request!)
+
You were young when Calum left. His family was moving too far for you to ever visit. Mali wanted to pursue music, and their parents thought they might as well get a start on Calum’s soccer career. When he left, he hadn’t one hundred percent committed to soccer yet, but you knew that’s where he’d end up. He loved it. 
The two of you often spent hours on the soccer field at the local park. You couldn’t play soccer for shit, so usually, you just fetched the balls for him. That was until you got tired and resigned to laying in the grass. 
There wasn’t much warning before he left. He mentioned it one day on the walk to school, and then a couple days later, your mom told you that you’d have to walk alone now. You and Calum were eight years old, and at first, you were hurt that he left without saying goodbye. 
As you got older, you realized that Calum was probably responsible for telling you he was going and he didn’t. You blamed it on the fact that he was young. So were you, sometimes you try to think about what you would’ve done if you found out that you’d be moving away from everything you knew in two only two days. You probably would’ve let a few things slip your mind too.
It wasn’t a big deal anymore, you were now almost twenty-two, and it’d been over ten years. Most memories of Calum were fond ones. Some of the memories were sad ones that were created in the first few weeks that he was gone. Little things like racing outside in the morning to tell him something before you realized he wasn’t there or wanting to call Mrs. Joy’s phone to see if you could come over.
Today, you’d been thinking about him after your mom had tagged you in a post she made so many years ago on this day. The first day of Kindergarten. You and Calum stood in the lawn with big grins and empty backpacks slung over your shoulders. Standing shoulder to shoulder, both of you had one hand on a brown paper lunch sack. You laughed when you saw it, remembering that Joy and your mom always took turns making one big lunch with enough for you both to share. It was a way to make sure you two stayed together throughout the day.
You sigh as you walk down the sidewalk, locking your phone and shoving it into your back pocket. Today was the first day you had off since last week, and you were so relieved to spend the day at home watching endless Netflix episodes. That was until you had a craving for an iced latte. Sure, you could’ve made one yourself, but it wouldn’t have been as good.
That’s why you find yourself pushing the door open to a small café just down the street from your relatively new apartment. You’d moved into the area a few months ago, and exhausting your savings on new (to you) local businesses hadn’t gotten old yet. It was actually good for you to get out and make yourself a familiar face.
The line in the café wasn’t long so in fifteen minutes you were making your way to the door, coffee in one hand and your phone in the other. You were checking the time as you nudged the door open with your shoulder. You just wanted to make sure you’d have enough time to finish the season you were watching before your mother expected you to come over for dinner.
You lose your footing as you step on something and on your way down you barely graze someone's shoulder. It’s a blur, but you feel your hands in a cold puddle of the drink you just paid for. When you flip yourself, so you’re sitting on the ground, you try to find who you ran into.
“Watch it next time!” A tall, dark-haired guy throws over his shoulder. His back is to you, his hair is buzzed, and he’s wearing one of those tank tops that people usually only wear as undershirts. He pauses for a moment, picking up his boot-clad foot to look at the spilled liquid that coats a little bit of his pant let. “Damn, I just had these washed.”
Quickly, you scramble to your feet to try to catch up to him. You wanted to apologize and maybe give him some money to get his slacks dry cleaned. They looked nice.
“Hey! Wait, I’m sorry. Let me fix it.” You stop short of him as he turns around. There’s something familiar about his bushy eyebrows and full nose.
“Calum?” You ask, your eyebrows scrunching and your head shakes just the slightest bit.
“Y/N?” He says in disbelief. It’s weird how fate works because he’d been thinking of you today too. His mom has screenshotted the post and sent it to him this morning.
“It’s really you, huh? After all these years.” You chuckle, your hands are held awkwardly away from you because you’d landed in a puddle of your drink.
“Guess so. It’s funny that my mom sent me a picture of us today.” Calum brings his arm up to rub at the back of his neck, and that’s when you notice the thick, silver chain that’s wrapped around it.
“Yeah, first day of Kindergarten with our shared lunch. It’s funny to me now, but we used to love that. Seeing what they packed us was the most exciting part of the day.” Calum grins, and you smile immediately matches his.
“What are you up to today? Would you want to hang out?” He shuffles his feet a little bit, looking nervous for a split second.
“I was really committed to watching Nextflix and maybe ordering Postmates for lunch, but I guess I could move things around for my best friend that disappeared over ten years ago.” You tease him, rolling your eyes and then nodding. “Sure, we can hang out. I need to go inside and wash my hands.”
“Let’s start with coffee, what did you have? I’ll order another while you do that.” Calum walks past you and opens the door for you. You tell him and then make your way to the restroom.
After ten years, he should seem like a stranger. He should make you want to be cautious because a lot can change in that amount of time. It’s not anywhere close to that though. You suddenly feel like he never left.
+
reblog if you liked it or wanna save it!! feedback is always appreciated 💕
Taglist: @calumsnatchedmyheart @aulxna @mikeyglifford @calssunflower @sebastian-sunshine-stan 
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ministraight · 4 years
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My Journey To Making $100/day On Twitter
I’ve been earning a decent income on Instagram using different methods for close to 4 years now, but as the years go by, Instagram continues to make changes that have continuously made it difficult for small businesses on a budget to make a decent living working on their platform.
 We’ve had to make changes as they do, and have almost always adapted well to the challenges but the   recent follow/unfollow limits   that were enforced sometime around June are just impossible to get around. There once was a time when you could follow more than 1000 users/day on Instagram without encountering any issues.
 Today, the limit for the entire month falls at under 6000 total, which means you can only follow around 180 users/day.
 It can be very scary to watch your source of livelihood gradually dwindle with time.
 So, for the past few weeks, I have been towing with the idea of shifting focus from Instagram to Twitter. Twitter is a lot more lenient than Instagram in terms of the number of actions you’re allowed to take within a certain timeframe.
 Unlike Instagram, they’ve even   made it public   that you can follow up to 400 users/day.
    Why I’m I making my Twitter journey public?   First, I’d like to hold myself accountable. By having to update this post on a continuous basis I will have little room to procrastinate knowing there are people out there following along.
 It is also a good reason to push myself to succeed. I’d hate to have the world witness what a colossal failure this journey turned out to be.
 And lastly, I know there are people out there struggling to make a decent living. By documenting my journey, some will be able to borrow ideas from this and hopefully, I will have helped someone out.
 This is the part I have to remind you to bookmark this post because I really need you to hold me accountable.
 So, what tools do I need for this journey?
  Tools of trade    An  automation tool  for Twitter. I have     Jarvee     for this     Twitter accounts   . I’m starting slow with just a handful of accounts and will gradually add more  A     proxy for each account    . Proxies make accounts less suspicious by giving each a unique IP address   AD network . I picked the adult niche for this journey and will be promoting links from    ADVerten   . There are other equally good ad networks, like   iMonetizeIt  , but I will stick with Adverten unless I find it necessary to switch networks.    The strategy   It’s simple:
 Drive traffic from multiple ‘female’ Twitter accounts to a  SmartLink  given to you by the ad network. The basic concept is, depending on the country from which a Twitter user clicks on your SmartLink, they will be redirected to an adult website where should they register on there, the ad network will add money to your account.
 The amount paid to you per registration will depend on a number of factors among which, the country of residence the registered user lives matters. For instance, you can expect to make more money when a user from either the US or a country from the European Union registers.
 I will be having my Twitter accounts follow, like and message users that are following Twitter accounts of adult female entertainers. I will also target those liking and retweeting posts of these entertainers.
 On the face of it, it might sound like a lot of work but since I will be using an automation tool, once the setup is complete, there will be nothing else to do but to watch the money roll in.
 The initial setup shouldn’t actually take more than an hour.
 I have created a    Telegram group    where you can discuss your own journey with everyone else and get notified on new updates from this post.
 Watch out for the next update.
  Update 22/08/2019    
 The amount in the screenshot shown as  INCOME  was not made on this journey. It’s what was left over when I did this with Instagram accounts that later got deleted.
 What I’ve done so far:
  Collected about 50 Twitter usernames of female adult entertainers. I’ve added these usernames as  follow sources  in Jarvee (I obviously need to add more usernames).  Created and profiled 2 Twitter accounts. They’re already set up on Jarvee and have started following slowly.  Ordered 10 Twitter accounts from a source that sells them. As soon as I receive them I’ll get them set up on Jarvee.   It’s now a waiting game.
 I need to have about 20 Twitter accounts running on this tool before I can start optimizing for better conversions.
 See you in the next update!
  Update 25/08/2019   The 10 Twitter accounts that I ordered took quite some time to arrive, so I wasn’t able to get things moving quickly enough. Nonetheless, I received them yesterday and started warming them up by having them perform a few activities.
 On the positive side, we’ve just had our first conversion (2 leads)!
   This week, my plan is to order and set up at least 30 more Twitter accounts.
 Look out for the next update!
  Update 11/09/2019   I added 20 more accounts to my Jarvee campaigns and was playing around with Jarvee’s settings trying to optimize the activities of my Twitter accounts. My settings turned out to be a little aggressive and I lost 6 accounts before I slowed them down a bit.
   I also noticed that my conversions on Adverten weren’t exactly close to what I was aiming for, and so as soon as I hit the payment threshhold I switched to iMonetizeIt.
   So while my conversions on iMonetizeIt aren’t perfect yet, I have to admit that I’m very pleased with the way things have begun taking shape. The day is still young and expecting a few more conversions before the end of the day.
 From now moving forward, the only thing I will be doing to scale up this campaign is to add more accounts and watch the money roll in.
  What I have done next    Upgraded my copy of Jarvee to accommodate 150 social media accounts    Placed an order for 70 Twitter accounts    Bought 50 proxies and added them to Jarvee while I wait to receive the accounts I ordered.   Look out for the next update.
  Update 17/09/2019    
 On the 12th of September, my automation tool had closed and it took almost 2 days before I discovered it and restarted it. I’ve been a little busy with my other online ventures and haven’t been able to do much for this journey, but I’m pleased that the earnings are improving gradually. It’s about 10 AM here and we’re sitting at $4.76 so far.
 Oops… I think I wrote too quickly. There’s been an update in the last 30 seconds.   The balance hasn’t even updated   …
   I should be able to cross $20/day before the end of this week.
   This is all on autopilot!   So you can go about your day doing other things while your money here grows.
 Look out for the next update!
  Update 18/09/2019   I was hopeful that yesterday would end better than the previous day but that didn’t happen. Still, it didn’t end too bad and the earning closed at $13.14. I haven’t touched my settings yet but I’m looking at what could be improved before Friday the 20th. This far my automation on   Jarvee   is running well without a hitch.
   I’m glad that I shared this journey publicly because some people have reached out to me for help with their own journeys and in some of these discussions one guy who’s currently doing really well with this method mentioned the CPA network    Crakrevenue   . Apparently, their offers convert way better than those on other networks.
 I’ll continue to promote on iMonetizeIt until Friday and will switch over to Crakrevenue on Saturday.
 It’s 9 AM here so we still have the rest of the day to look forward to but here are the results so far …
   Until next time!
  Update 21/10/2019   There hasn’t been much lately to write an update about. I decided to switch back to Adverten and did so for the whole of last week and it looks like there some notable improvements.
 The plan now moving forward is to create my own Twitter accounts and add them to my automation system. The quality of Twitter accounts I have been buying is really not that good. In most cases, you’ll find that  the text used in the bio does not make sense and the accounts look utterly fake .
 So, for this reason, I will be creating my own accounts.
 Here’s how last week went on Adverten:
   Remember, this is all on autopilot and I did have to do anything.
 If you’d like to create a similar system for yourself you can join our   CPA Telegram group   where you’re to ask questions and get answers.
 Until next time!
https://socialtipster.co/make-money-twitter-journey/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=make-money-twitter-journey
#entrepreneurship #smm #smallbusiness #graphicdesign #seo
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perkdistrict · 4 years
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My Journey To Making $100/day On Twitter
I’ve been earning a decent income on Instagram using different methods for close to 4 years now, but as the years go by, Instagram continues to make changes that have continuously made it difficult for small businesses on a budget to make a decent living working on their platform.
 We’ve had to make changes as they do, and have almost always adapted well to the challenges but the   recent follow/unfollow limits   that were enforced sometime around June are just impossible to get around. There once was a time when you could follow more than 1000 users/day on Instagram without encountering any issues.
 Today, the limit for the entire month falls at under 6000 total, which means you can only follow around 180 users/day.
 It can be very scary to watch your source of livelihood gradually dwindle with time.
 So, for the past few weeks, I have been towing with the idea of shifting focus from Instagram to Twitter. Twitter is a lot more lenient than Instagram in terms of the number of actions you’re allowed to take within a certain timeframe.
 Unlike Instagram, they’ve even   made it public   that you can follow up to 400 users/day.
    Why I’m I making my Twitter journey public?   First, I’d like to hold myself accountable. By having to update this post on a continuous basis I will have little room to procrastinate knowing there are people out there following along.
 It is also a good reason to push myself to succeed. I’d hate to have the world witness what a colossal failure this journey turned out to be.
 And lastly, I know there are people out there struggling to make a decent living. By documenting my journey, some will be able to borrow ideas from this and hopefully, I will have helped someone out.
 This is the part I have to remind you to bookmark this post because I really need you to hold me accountable.
 So, what tools do I need for this journey?
  Tools of trade    An  automation tool  for Twitter. I have     Jarvee     for this     Twitter accounts   . I’m starting slow with just a handful of accounts and will gradually add more  A     proxy for each account    . Proxies make accounts less suspicious by giving each a unique IP address   AD network . I picked the adult niche for this journey and will be promoting links from    ADVerten   . There are other equally good ad networks, like   iMonetizeIt  , but I will stick with Adverten unless I find it necessary to switch networks.    The strategy   It’s simple:
 Drive traffic from multiple ‘female’ Twitter accounts to a  SmartLink  given to you by the ad network. The basic concept is, depending on the country from which a Twitter user clicks on your SmartLink, they will be redirected to an adult website where should they register on there, the ad network will add money to your account.
 The amount paid to you per registration will depend on a number of factors among which, the country of residence the registered user lives matters. For instance, you can expect to make more money when a user from either the US or a country from the European Union registers.
 I will be having my Twitter accounts follow, like and message users that are following Twitter accounts of adult female entertainers. I will also target those liking and retweeting posts of these entertainers.
 On the face of it, it might sound like a lot of work but since I will be using an automation tool, once the setup is complete, there will be nothing else to do but to watch the money roll in.
 The initial setup shouldn’t actually take more than an hour.
 I have created a    Telegram group    where you can discuss your own journey with everyone else and get notified on new updates from this post.
 Watch out for the next update.
  Update 22/08/2019    
 The amount in the screenshot shown as  INCOME  was not made on this journey. It’s what was left over when I did this with Instagram accounts that later got deleted.
 What I’ve done so far:
  Collected about 50 Twitter usernames of female adult entertainers. I’ve added these usernames as  follow sources  in Jarvee (I obviously need to add more usernames).  Created and profiled 2 Twitter accounts. They’re already set up on Jarvee and have started following slowly.  Ordered 10 Twitter accounts from a source that sells them. As soon as I receive them I’ll get them set up on Jarvee.   It’s now a waiting game.
 I need to have about 20 Twitter accounts running on this tool before I can start optimizing for better conversions.
 See you in the next update!
  Update 25/08/2019   The 10 Twitter accounts that I ordered took quite some time to arrive, so I wasn’t able to get things moving quickly enough. Nonetheless, I received them yesterday and started warming them up by having them perform a few activities.
 On the positive side, we’ve just had our first conversion (2 leads)!
   This week, my plan is to order and set up at least 30 more Twitter accounts.
 Look out for the next update!
  Update 11/09/2019   I added 20 more accounts to my Jarvee campaigns and was playing around with Jarvee’s settings trying to optimize the activities of my Twitter accounts. My settings turned out to be a little aggressive and I lost 6 accounts before I slowed them down a bit.
   I also noticed that my conversions on Adverten weren’t exactly close to what I was aiming for, and so as soon as I hit the payment threshhold I switched to iMonetizeIt.
   So while my conversions on iMonetizeIt aren’t perfect yet, I have to admit that I’m very pleased with the way things have begun taking shape. The day is still young and expecting a few more conversions before the end of the day.
 From now moving forward, the only thing I will be doing to scale up this campaign is to add more accounts and watch the money roll in.
  What I have done next    Upgraded my copy of Jarvee to accommodate 150 social media accounts    Placed an order for 70 Twitter accounts    Bought 50 proxies and added them to Jarvee while I wait to receive the accounts I ordered.   Look out for the next update.
  Update 17/09/2019    
 On the 12th of September, my automation tool had closed and it took almost 2 days before I discovered it and restarted it. I’ve been a little busy with my other online ventures and haven’t been able to do much for this journey, but I’m pleased that the earnings are improving gradually. It’s about 10 AM here and we’re sitting at $4.76 so far.
 Oops… I think I wrote too quickly. There’s been an update in the last 30 seconds.   The balance hasn’t even updated   …
   I should be able to cross $20/day before the end of this week.
   This is all on autopilot!   So you can go about your day doing other things while your money here grows.
 Look out for the next update!
  Update 18/09/2019   I was hopeful that yesterday would end better than the previous day but that didn’t happen. Still, it didn’t end too bad and the earning closed at $13.14. I haven’t touched my settings yet but I’m looking at what could be improved before Friday the 20th. This far my automation on   Jarvee   is running well without a hitch.
   I’m glad that I shared this journey publicly because some people have reached out to me for help with their own journeys and in some of these discussions one guy who’s currently doing really well with this method mentioned the CPA network    Crakrevenue   . Apparently, their offers convert way better than those on other networks.
 I’ll continue to promote on iMonetizeIt until Friday and will switch over to Crakrevenue on Saturday.
 It’s 9 AM here so we still have the rest of the day to look forward to but here are the results so far …
   Until next time!
  Update 21/10/2019   There hasn’t been much lately to write an update about. I decided to switch back to Adverten and did so for the whole of last week and it looks like there some notable improvements.
 The plan now moving forward is to create my own Twitter accounts and add them to my automation system. The quality of Twitter accounts I have been buying is really not that good. In most cases, you’ll find that  the text used in the bio does not make sense and the accounts look utterly fake .
 So, for this reason, I will be creating my own accounts.
 Here’s how last week went on Adverten:
   Remember, this is all on autopilot and I did have to do anything.
 If you’d like to create a similar system for yourself you can join our   CPA Telegram group   where you’re to ask questions and get answers.
 Until next time!
https://socialtipster.co/make-money-twitter-journey/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=make-money-twitter-journey
#smm #entrepreneurship #startup #Pinterest #seo #LinkedIn #entrepreneur
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comicteaparty · 5 years
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February 1st-February 7th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive
The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from February 1st, 2020 to February 7th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:
What is the nicest thing someone has said about your story, whether its published or still a WIP?
Deo101 [Millennium]
Well, this is one I can answer right away. It's not a very straightforward answer, but I had someone reference me and my comic in an essay about reasons why they were able to love themself... It was for a creative writing class, and they just used me as an example of a greater thing (indie media)... and I only know about it because they asked me permission. but they let me read the essay, and it made me cry. I havent heard from them in a while and I really hope they're okay, but that really stuck with me in a way nothing else has. It's not really a quote, though, so the nicest comment I have recieved was "I can tell how much you love people by reading this story." It was really sweet in a way I can't quite articulate. People have been incredibly sweet to me, and I feel very blessed. I could make a long list detailing the kindness I have been shown.
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
Apparently Phantomarine (http://www.phantomarine.com/) has made more than one person cry already. Which, to me, is pretty darn high praise, given that I've barely begun the story
Having people find it and say "THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF STORY I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR" also hits a nerve. I know that feeling. You like certain themes/motifs and you wish someone would blend them together in just the right way. It can be magical.
And the last one is when I learned that children like it. A few have come forward so far - either in person or through their parents - and told me they loved it. It was around that age that I was building my own 'inner library' of inspirations for the comic. To know that I might be part of theirs, even in a small way, is just... the best?
Deo101 [Millennium]
that's all so incredibly nice <3
and now I wanna add to my list actually I don't want to interrupt, this is just a topic I wish I could sing from the rooftops about... I also had a student of mine (I am a teacher at a church) come out to me because he knew I would be okay with who he is. And, I have had people tell me it's inspiring to them, which kinda makes my heart melt. I'll stop now but, really I could go on and on about how open and loving people have been with me and my work, and how much it means to me.
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Man... This is somewhat difficult for me to answer since I am so early into my comic creating journey. However, I will say that I recently got a comment on my comic Whispers of the Past (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366) that made me smile. A long time reader commented that they always read my new pages twice, once on Webtoon, and again on Tapas. This really made me realize that my work has meaning to somebody other than myself, which is definitely what I need to hear when I'm doubting myself.
Mei
It's so nice reading about nice comments people have gotten and honestly... y'all deserve it!! I need to be in a better habit of commenting myself because I will promote comics to my friends for days on end but I'm too shy to leave a comment, even though I love receiving comments myself. I think the nicest comments I've received have been in combination with the conventions I was at last year. People told me that they thought the comic was funny, which I am incredibly thankful for. And one person who bought the book at the convention took the time to find it on Tapas and then comment on the latest page, saying that they'd talked to me, read the book, and that they liked it. That meant so much to me it was crazy! And another time, I was showing my book to someone at a convention and she said that she actually read the comic online, which honestly... It's so strange and surreal to me to meet anyone in real life who reads things posted online. It made my heart do smiley emoji. I think what LadyLazuli said is really right, this idea that you're a small part of someone's life or inspirations or just general day is pretty amazing?! Also this one guy commented on every page week to week with the same 'vase' joke on several updates and honestly the commitment was truly astounding
kayotics
I think some of the nicest comments come from one specific reader, who has mentioned a couple times that going back and reading the comic has helped them through some tough times. There was also one person who went to the effort of contacting me after their books were damaged from flooding, and wanted to buy new books to replace the old ones. This was wild since they wanted to do something so inconvenient (paying with cash by mail, and I didn't even have an online storefront in the first place) to replace the books.
twothirty
really early on i had 1 reader that would leave in-depth analysis of some character interactions and they were were spot on and made me really feel like people cared about this story . The other interaction that really stands out was doing the convention circuit last year I had a reader come up to say hi, and usually that interaction is just "i love your comic!" (which is amazing) but he also then talked to me at length about the story and again it was this feeling of just knowing someone out there cares about what you're doing. Comics feels particularly isolating so interactions like that really keep me going.
Funari (Raison d’Etre)
I've had two different readers tell me our comic has brought them joy during bad days. Sadly one of them I haven't heard from in 2 years and they were going through some rough times. I hope they're okay
Nutty (Court of Roses)
The nicest thing I've heard was when my coworker told me him and his daughter were reading it, and he told me that she's "drawing like me" with panels and stuff and keeps asking him "how do i make the bubbles" So they're gonna work on that and then he's gonna show it to me.
keii4ii
Any time someone gets what I'm trying to do with the story. I have a great fear of getting good intentioned people trashing the most important parts of my story (without realizing their importance). So whenever someone gets what the story is all about, whether as a whole or just one scene, it's a huge weight off my chest. Legit brings tears to my eyes. Even if I manage to overcome that fear some day, comments like that would mean a lot to me. Being understood has always been very important to me.
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
Someone recently said they wanted to get a tattoo of something in the comic and that was cool. It also means a lot when people respond well to the jokes in the comic because I put a lot into the writing to make it funny. I hope it makes someone cry someday Joe Is Dead http://joeisdead.com/read
DanitheCarutor
Ffff all my readers have been so compassionate, it's jarring! In a nice way! Choosing one nice thing is hard, every comment has been nice. I guess the most flattering is when a someone takes the time to go back to the previous chapters to link little things up with the current events in the story, or when they manage to remember in spite of how webcomics update so slowly. There was a comment I saved a while back where someone remembered a small thing in chapter 3 and was doing some brainstorming with it relating to the current chapter at the time.
Every so often someone also leaves a paragraph with some of the most motivational gushing, it's so nice! Oh! Also, there have been a few people who've asked me to print my comic so they can have a physical copy (which I'm slowly starting to do), which is super motivating knowing a couple people like my depressing comic enough to want to own a copy of it.
keii4ii
Oh man, I too have saved screenshots of some of my favorite comments, but I don't wanna share them because 1) some of them are long and 2) maybe the commenters wouldn't want their names disclosed in a different context? They are great to save for a rainy day, though!
Tuyetnhi
Oh this is hard I remember one comment on tapas that they got their aunt and cousin reading it and I was flattered! Most comments I got were about the artstyle and progression of the story, which I hope to continue if school lets me. Still, I'm quite surprised that it drove someone to get their family to read a romance about someone's dream lover lmao
also same keii!
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Honestly, I have far too many comments I should screenshot. But so many of them are praising the art, and I never know how to feel about it. Like, those types of comments make me happy, but I never know how to truly feel about them.
keii4ii
Art is admittedly easier to comment on. If I'm commenting on art on anyone's comic, I try to point out how it contributes to the storytelling, rather than "ooh pretty and shiny." Pretty and shiny is valid but I'd be just doing illustrations if that were my main goal!
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
But if 9/10 comments are, "Wow, the art is so pretty!" I can't really react to it much, especially since my own self-doubt is constantly reminding me of my mistakes.
FeatherNotes(Krispy)
I've been really excited to answer this question because it gives me an opportunity to thank any and all the fans and people who celebrate our work. I've been so humbled by all of the wonderful and amazing fanart we've received, music paired with scenes from our comic, and fans even imagining scenarios of the characters themselves-- I'm constantly blown away! I do have my most treasured moment however, and that was when we were tabling at TCAF a couple years back. We had been swamped with crowds, selling, and early mornings-- it was a long day! That was until we had one person who went through the trouble to see us in person, and handcraft a drawing to deliver to us, saying thank you, and in that moment I bawled!! They quickly left after us thanking them so much, and I'll never forget that and how much it gave us a fire to see this whole project through. We have it framed and it sits in front of our cpu
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
I got one comment where someone said that one of my main characters "seems sweet," and it just left me confused because, a) he's only said about ten words total, and b) in those ten words, he has somehow managed to be rude.
So how is he sweet???
But I mean, I should be happy that he seems likeable despite his attitude and reticence
Tuyetnhi
nice lmao
I do agree about the comments about the artwork being pretty and idk how to repond other than thanks lmao(edited)
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Yep
That's pretty much all I can say
Because I would HOPE my art looks pretty good after a decade drawing haha
Tuyetnhi
tho tbh because of the nature of my comic, I do get the occasional thirst comment and I'm just sitting there bawling
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Oh yeah, I get those
Tuyetnhi
"Wow he's buff"
"yea bc I made him like that lmao"
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
People drooling about my male MC mainly
It's so awkward, but I knew it would happen
Tuyetnhi
same, but for the male love interest and i'm like "this is expected lmao"
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING
keii4ii
I get like 0 thirsty comment despite one of the MCs being an athletic cat dude with literal secret tentacles (I'm okay with not getting a lot of thirsty comments, but I do find it interesting)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I've gotten thirsty comments and my comic is not meant to be romantic or sexy at all
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Oh, I can leave you some thirsty comments
I love Lu
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I was going to say they are inevitable(edited)
but kei proved that wrong
Tuyetnhi
same I love Lu too lmao
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
And will gladly praise his hotness
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
if your comic goes on for long enough, i think you will get some eventually. it is a rule of the internet
keii4ii
It's been ongoing since Nov 2014 XD But I guess it takes longer for some than others!
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
@keii4ii I don't think you quite understand
I have never been attracted to animal-people before
I have always found anthros and such weird
And yet
Lu is totally my thing
Tuyetnhi
Strangely attractive for a cat guy lol
points for those who get the ref
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
how do you guys know what their comic is?
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
He is way too attractive
keii4ii
Mine? Cronaj and Tuyetnhi came across it outside this Discord, I believe!
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Yep
I have been reading it for a few years now
Although I can't say exactly when, because HoK has been a part of my life for so long
Tuyetnhi
I think I started reading it a year or 2 ago lol
DanitheCarutor
@keii4ii The only nice thing about Webtoons is that there aren't any profiles to check, so you can't look up fans via their comments. Also if you did Google their username there isn't a guarantee whoever you find would be that Webtoons user without them telling you. Lmao! About the thirsty comments, I used to get them a lot of Webtoons. There was this one scene where my smaller MC pulled the taller one to their face to say "Your friend is dead", before shoving him away and walking off. Some of my readers went wild! They wanted the two MCs to make-out so bad, even though the scene clearly had no romantic chemistry... or even the entire comic for that matter. My thirsty bunch came off really desperate and reaching at times.
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Omg, that's just precious
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
I really have never gotten thirsty comments, with the exception of one or two very mild 'Oh, that character is attractive' comments. But I think my comics just don't really attract thirsty readers. Of course, I rarely get any reader feedback, so that's probably part of it.
keii4ii
@DanitheCarutor Yeah, that's a plus about the semi-anonymity! My screenshots are from less anonymous places, so yeah. Some are also from like... Discord, where the person may not even have expected the comment to be archived in any way. (Sometimes I actually asked if I could screenshot, but I don't know if I asked every time...)
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
No one has ever reported finding my characters attractive
Deo101 [Millennium]
People thinking my characters are hot is a pretty common thing, and usually I don't mind but... sometimes it's the bane of my existence.
It's always a little bit weird, though
every time someone is like "dat ass " I'm like alright bud keep it to urself
it's part of why I made all of my characters adults, actually
people even before I started making it, just when I was talking to them about it or showing my art would STILL be overly sexual about my characters so I aged them up where it felt less weird for me.
kayotics
I’ll get thirst comments every once in a while, usually on tapas. I don’t mind it too much, especially since I’m usually making characters that I’m also attracted to? I usually think thirst comments are funny
DanitheCarutor
Pfff I'm in a similar boat to Deo's. Usually I don't mind, but there are moments where it sucks. Like there will be a really serious, or heavy scene and someone will pop up with "Make them kiss!!", "Don't be mean to your future hubby, X! Kiss him and make up!!". It totally feels they don't actually care about the story and just want something to jack it off to. xD I don't get a whole lot of thirst anymore, which is nice. I think the vocal group lost interest after being blue-balled for 3-4 chapters. Weirdest thing, I have yet to get anyone saying my characters are attractive... well, some readers used to say Julian (my questionable looking non-binary character) was pretty but they weren't really thirsty, just observations. At least they came off like that. My style makes characters look kind of ugly, so comments about any of my cast being attractive is non-existent. @keii4ii Ooh yeah, I can see how that would be an issue. Although, if you really want to show off some super nice comments, you can also just cover or blur out their username and icon image. A lot of people do that, it's really good for keeping up the user's anonymity, and I don't think they would mind since you're not using their words slanderously.
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Can I admit I sort of wish I got some thirsty and shipping comments? I also draw characters I think are hawt so I kinda wish my readers felt the same way. XD I don’t really want them in Ashes were my characters are teens, but in Eryl where 95% of the cast is legal age, I kinda wish some people wanted to be a little bit thirsty about it. XD
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah, i just wish it wasnt... Idk sometimes it seems like thats ALL people see and it makes me sad
Like theres other stuff going on...
eli [a winged tale]
I feel you too Cap’n! I sort of expected shipping comments for AWT https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/keyspace-a-winged-tale/list?title_no=322364 but yeah they’re still kids discovering themselves! When I start my adult fantasy comic (tentatively planned), then I’m all on board for sure. For the question, I love and screenshot every comment to peruse whenever I feel down. I treasure all of them but one that particularly stood out for me was a writer reimagining all their stories with my art and characters and that just about made me cry happy tears
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
So far the only 'thirst comments' I've gotten are when the comic gets even the slightest bit... gay I can't say my story revolves around major LGBTQ+ themes, but people have picked up on random bits of subtext between characters (which is mostly intentional on my part, not gonna lie) and specifically take time to comment on them. It makes me happy to see people reading between the lines. And it also helps me know what the readers like or are really looking for. So... yeah, I'm gonna keep on that path
eli [a winged tale]
Did I miss that in phantomarine?? Howww
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
The subtlest of subtle subtext... which will become far less subtle over time
Nutty (Court of Roses)
i am deliberately pushing my main ship to get ppl into it lmao
YOU WANT THESE TWO TO KISS, I PROMISE
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
GOSH I know this feeling too well I feel like I don't want to overwhelm the readers, but I want them to still realize "...Hmmmmmm, yeah I kinda want this."
eli [a winged tale]
I’m so intrigued now
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
good
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
wait i can't think of anything remotely gay/romantic in phantomarine
besides maybe
phaedra and... cheth?
eli [a winged tale]
The shipping comments in AWT are currently on point at exactly where I want them to be
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i don't believe you would go for that, but shipping enemies is a very common fandom thing
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I wish I had more people shipping my characters because I'm all alone in it right now
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
@Nutty (Court of Roses) I'm doing the same in Ashes. I'm being super obvious about Anor x Rava being a future couple. XD
So far I haven't really gotten any comments about it. Idk if my readers care about romance at all.
Which is okay, because I don't really write much romance into my comics.
Even though I secretly wish for a bit of shipping from readers.
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I have to find out how visibly and obviously gay the characters have to act before people pick up on it
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
sssfrs, your comic just doesn't feel like the kind of comic people would ship characters in, though. Even the relationship between the captain and the guy that left, though lovely, feels, i don't know, too mature to really ship?
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
It's not the focus of the plot though so it's not essential just would be fun
Deo101 [Millennium]
people were shipping page 2 for me so idk
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
That's a fair way to look at it
Deo101 [Millennium]
apparently they need to be next to eachother , in my experience
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i think the art style plays a part, too
people were shipping my characters also from page two. But I have a "prettier" style than sssfrs
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Yeah, I think the only way readers even know my characters are queer is from the extra art I make of them for Pride month each year. On panel the gay isn't incredibly obvious.
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah, and I do WANT people to ship them so its not like I mind. I like shippers (when they are in line with my plans)
eli [a winged tale]
Yes Deo!! Exactly
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
Some characters I think have a great dynamic but I just haven't published enough of the material that shows their chemistry yet so I can't blame anyone for not seeing it
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
^same for me
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
looking forward to seeing that in both your comics!
i follow both
eli [a winged tale]
That’s fair ssfrs I’m all for the slow burn
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
It's true that my goal isn't to make the characters visually attractive and appealing in that way as much as in personality and interactions
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
I do keep seeing people leave 1* ratings for Eryl on WT and I can't help but wonder if it's homophobes angry about a character sheet I shared that mentioned the character was lovingly raised by two dads. Bc there has been nothing really controversial on-panel in the comic, and I have such a small audience it has no other reason to keep attracting hate.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
yeah, that's what i was trying to say. couldn't think of a good way to say that though. but i like your art and feel like it fits your story well
( at sssfrs)
i don't think there are a large number of homophobes on WT. If anything, there's an overabundance of the opposite- fetishists
people leave 1 star on WT for random reasons like you not updating enough
don't worry about it
eli [a winged tale]
Link your webcomics? With <> . Love to check them out
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/puppeteer/list?title_no=290620
Deo101 [Millennium]
I get a lot of fetishists, yeah....
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/dark-wings-eryl/list?title_no=287293
Deo101 [Millennium]
https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/millennium/list?title_no=110866
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Idk, maybe they don't like that I update in traditional pages, then, Who knows
All I know is every time my ratings start crawling back up, suddenly they'll take a big hit.(edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
idk, some people just seem to do that kinda thing
I have thought it could be other creators before, too...
trying to make less competition or something. but that would be cruel and I dont like to think someone would do that
so I prefer to think its just someone who didnt like my stuff
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
eh i prefer to think the best of people
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
It's not like I'm super successful or anything. The algorithms haven't been kind to either of my comics so I'm hardly competition.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i'm not going to think it's other creators
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah that's what Im saying
like its popped in my head and then I was like literally who would do that
thatd be reaaaaal messed up
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
hey, how to i add my comic name in paren to my name on this server?
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Unfortunately I know a lot of creators who would. They just don't hang out in spaces like these.
Deo101 [Millennium]
just edit your nickname in the options
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
Mine is called Joe Is Dead, on here http://joeisdead.com/ and on tapas https://tapas.io/series/JoeIsDead
Deo101 [Millennium]
oh right I actually have another comic. It was on hiatus over a year so I havent gotten into the habit of sharing it...
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Yeah, go to the ... next to the server name and it opens up a menu with the 'change nickname' option.
Deo101 [Millennium]
https://tapas.io/series/Time-and-Time-again
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I put the title in my name
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
My other comic is here on WT: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/children-of-shadow-ashes/list?title_no=145048&page=1
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i just don't like dismissing negative feedback. I don't want to get negative reviews and just brush them off as jealous people because i know my comic definitely has room to improve and would rather negative feedback motivate me to look for ways how
got it, thanks!
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I love negative feedback. I want to put out the best work I can & hearing what people don't like or don't think is working helps me do that
Deo101 [Millennium]
theres constructive feedback, and then theres people telling me my characters are stupid and I think I can brush the latter off
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Unfortunately, I have been the victim of vicious jealous reviews. I've seen a lot of ugly in the webcomic world over the many years I've been doing this. Some creators be petty.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
@sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD) hm if i were to give negative feedback about your comic I'd say the biggest things are that you have a lot of characters that in my mind are kind of hard to differentiate, and also it can be really hard to tell where your characters are in space. But those don't matter too much, as they both will probably get better with time. Your biggest strength imo in your dialogue anyways
keii4ii
Not every negative feedback is relevant to my goals, is key for me. It's the whole "you can't please everyone" principle. My target audience does not include every person out there. If my target audience falls in love with what I make, then that's success for me. I don't need to impress the rest of the world.
keii4ii
(Thanks Tatsu.)
Deo101 [Millennium]
You have a different definition of "negative feedback" than I do.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
who are you referring to?(edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
You
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
in what way?
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
I can usually tell the difference between 'This person has a different idea of what this story should be than I do' and 'This person has it out for me because of jealousy or spite'
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
Yeah I've found it really hard to juggle the consistency with where characters are standing all the time. I write out lists of the order they're spatially located in an effort to keep track of them. Hopefully I'll get better with practice
Deo101 [Millennium]
the negative feedback I am talking about is basically straight up hate. Constructive criticism, pointing out the flaws of a work, isnt "negative feedback" by my definition.
so saying "I want negative feedback" means something different for you than it does for me.
i WILL dismiss people being straight up rude to me
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
hm, I feel like a lot of people define negative feedback the same way i do, constructive criticism about what you could do better. If you say you dont want negative feedback you might get people thinking you don't want critique at all. imo what you are referring to might be more clearly just called "hate"
Deo101 [Millennium]
I'll consider it if someone is trying to help, even if most of the time I ignore it
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
I also get the random 1 star ratings on Webtoon, so I think some people are just easy to hate stuff(edited)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
yo sssfrs, you keep track of where characters are in space by writing lists??
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
These are probably also the same people who dislike videos habitually on Youtube
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i can't imagine working with that
Deo101 [Millennium]
I actually dont want critique at all.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
it seems so hard
Deo101 [Millennium]
not if I dont ask for it.
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Con crit and hate aren't the same thing, though
One is genuinely trying to help you improve, the other is just trying to bring you down.(edited)
And it's okay to not want the former
Deo101 [Millennium]
and I would say "negative feedback" doesnt include con crit
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Just because you make something doesn't mean you have to want people to give crit on it.(edited)
Yeah
I agree, because GOOD con crit is usually polite because if the person knows what they're talking about, they were where you are now and will be nice about it.
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
From my experience the best critiques come from other artists doing similar work to you
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i don't think all negative con crit is helpful, either. people also need to know what their strengths are so they know what to keep instead of just what to remove
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
They might not even be trying specifically to be nice about it
But their words feel less hurtful
eli [a winged tale]
I feel like there are comments which are reviews (fair enough, everyone has subjective opinions) but I feel like constructive criticisms should be more private and take place in specific settings (most importantly where the creators are in a position of wanting them)
Nutty (Court of Roses)
@eli [a winged tale] https://courtofroses.spiderforest.com/
eli [a winged tale]
What I think most readers don’t understand or know is that the comic that does make its way to the public quite often has already been through rigorous critique and feedback
Nutty (Court of Roses)
(sorry, was late to that haha, i agree on your feelings about crits)
Deo101 [Millennium]
see, I dont know what you mean by "negative con crit" In my experience, a critique that is negative is not a critique and is more an opportunity for someone to flex.
helpful critiques may FEEL negative, because they are pointing out your flaws, but they arent negative
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i think you're defining "negative" and "hateful" the same way, but other people are not(edited)
eli [a winged tale]
I call them constructive feedback. Then on the other hand, yeah there are negative comments that are there to serve the OP’s sentiments(edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
I use constructive if it is helpful, and negative if it is harmful
eli [a winged tale]
But I just don’t think the comment platform supports the constructive feedback part. The comments currently represent the OP’s views which are very much subjective. It’s hard to know if they are providing feedback from a place of knowing story structure/art competency
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
critique does mean a lot more when I ask for it from an artist I respect
eli [a winged tale]
Indeed. It’s quite an intimate process
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
but i can still take casual comments into consideration when trying to improve
things like, it's confusing, or i don't understand what's happening
eli [a winged tale]
I think trust in the critiquer’s background and intention for you to improve are imperative(edited)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
speaking of comments that say the comic is confusing, god i hate getting those comments the most. Because they come from people genuinely trying to read and like my comic and represent a failure of my storytelling skills
eli [a winged tale]
Plus there is a skill/art (no pun intended haha) to giving feedback. That’s a whole nother can of worms
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
but better to hear that and know it than not
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
It's not always a failure of storytelling skills, though. Some people's brains work along a certain line, and when a story is told that doesn't gel with that, it seems confusing to the person. That doesn't mean the writing was bad, it just means that the author communicates differently than the reader.(edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
^ thats what I was gonna say
I have a small group of people who I trust who are editors, writers, or artists. I go to them to see if I'm doing the best I can for my goals.
if people get confused then there isnt too much more that I can do...
not saying my work is perfect, of course...
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i can't just brush it off by saying I communicate differently than the reader when I'm trying to communicate to the reader
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
But not every reader is your audience, though
Nutty (Court of Roses)
^^^^
your message sometimes can't reach certain people, and that's not your fault
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
If all the readers are confused, that's one thing. If only a few are, well, your writing style just wasn't for them.
eli [a winged tale]
For sure. Agree Capn and Deo. There’s a lot of work that goes behind the scenes that readers are unaware
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
true true. But there are a few people who have said the same things, so I've taken those to heart and added dialogue that made it more clear. I don't regret that
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Your comic is public, and it's going to be seen by a very wide variety of people with all different kinds of reading comprehension and tastes. You're never going to appeal to all of hem, and plenty won't understand what you're trying to do. But that doesn't mean what you're making is bad. It just means it, like every story, is for a particular audience.
Yeah, if it's a repeated crit, it is something to keep in mind, but just remember that incorporating a crit shouldn't change what you're trying to do, only refine it.
Deo101 [Millennium]
Ive had a couple people say "I'm confused but Im enjoying whats going on" and I dont even know what I would begin to do about that
eli [a winged tale]
I usually trust my beta readers for that. If there are confusing parts then I would ask them how to clarify that best
I think these creator based forums are best to seek feedback and see what could potentially be remedied
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Of course. And I don't think my comic is bad. But one example was when I realized some confusion stemmed from me having a speech bubble that read, "without her," and didn't realize "her" could refer to two different characters which would make what was being said have two very different meanings. It's easy to overestimate how understandable your story is as an author that already knows everything that's going on. I think confusion is a good thing to pay attention to- I've definitely read comics before and dropped them because the author didn't pay enough attention to introducing things to the audience
(also dropped comics because they paid too much attention to introducig things but)
Deo101 [Millennium]
yes, like I said I have a small group of friends who are all writers, editors, and artists who can give me a pretty dang good beta read.
eli [a winged tale]
They are so great. Don’t know what I’d do without them
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
At that point I'd honestly keep going with what you have - there are several stories I've gone into with confusion, but also greatly enjoyed them, or even got less confused over time. Some readers need time to put the pieces together. So long as someone enjoys it on some level, I think that makes the comic successful. Maybe not completely - but not every comic will be everything to all people.
eli [a winged tale]
Indeed. Sometimes as well you gotta trust your story writing/art skills.
Deo101 [Millennium]
yup!
and like I'm not doing too bad for my first comic so I think I got something going for me at least.
I understand I have room to grow...
but I would like to keep that to people who I trust wont steer me wrong
eli [a winged tale]
Always room to grow for sure!
Deo101 [Millennium]
and arent just pushing what they want from me on me
eli [a winged tale]
Indeed. Feedback/ beta reading has its own set of skills. There’s always places to improve but the key is to determine specifically where that can be and how feasible(edited)
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
I remember the first time I read Unsounded, I had absolutely no idea what was going on because of how Ashley structures her world-building. But there were aspects of it that were very engaging, so I stuck with it. After finishing the archives, I went back and reread. Now that I understood what all the terms meant, it made perfect sense on the second go-round. It's now one of my favourite webcomics. Some stories are just told differently, and that's okay.(edited)
eli [a winged tale]
There’s certainly an element of trust you must put to the creators that it’ll all make sense at the end
Deo101 [Millennium]
someone got very mad at me for how I have shown my trans characters so far.. I had to explain that the story isnt done yet, and they have to trust I'll bring it up
it's a WIP and there is some trust that NEEDS to be had
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
lol I have only one artist/writer friend (struggles of working in a non-art career), and she understands everything I write exactly as I intended it and I love it. But she's my friend for a reason- we tend to think the same way and read similar things. Don't think it's wrong to try to cater to a wider audience as well
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
@Deo101 [Millennium] I wonder if anyone will react once I reveal that Anor is intersex/trans on panel. I'm really hoping I don't find out if any of my readers are transphobes -or- angry that he isn't ostentatiously trans.
Deo101 [Millennium]
someone was mad I didnt show my cyborg transitioning cause it could be so cool of a concept to see his original robot body and I was like literally none of what you said applies to him also thats kinda gross
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Uh
Wut
Deo101 [Millennium]
YEAH
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
There might be some transphobes. But it's worth dealing with them for the people who your comic will resonate with more for having a trans character in it
Deo101 [Millennium]
alsooooo some people might be upset, but then they will leave and you will be left with better people.
Nutty (Court of Roses)
I feel like me having a non-binary character and insisting on correcting everyone who misgenders them deters transphobes away p quickly.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
^^^ some people will dislike, but those who like will really like
and a smaller, better fanbase is better than a larger one that cares less(edited)
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
hear hear
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
@Eightfish (Puppeteer) I'm hoping some will resonate with him! I don't think I've ever seen any intersex rep in any story, so I really want people to know they can have a hero like them.(edited)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I'm trying to think of stories with intersex rep
I feel like there must be some, but I can't bring any up : /
Sazed from Mistborn is written as though he's intersex, but he clearly identifies as male and the story treating him as intersex actually feels a bit disrespectful
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Me neither. The only thing I've seen in stories is gross 'hermaphrodite' jokes when mocking a cis character.
I really want to give positive representation.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
webcomics have so much lgbt representation. I feel as though I must have seen an intersex character somewhere in there, but I'm not sure I have.(edited)
it feels kind of weird(edited)
I've seen characters that don't have genders because they're gods or whatnot but I feel like that's different
Deo101 [Millennium]
I mean, I have intersex characters I supposed but theyre alien genders so I also think that's different and wouldnt call them intersex
DanitheCarutor
I don't know the whole conversation, but @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios), you'll be fine! Most transphobic people quietly leave, only the really sad, pitiful ones make a stink and their opinions are pretty laughable. If you get crap laugh in their faces like they're morons. I would also say my character Julian is intersex, but I'm not sure how much it counts since it was a recent decision I made (after doing a lot of research) due to readers headcanoning them as an intersex character.
I think I know of a couple other comics with intersex characters if you want to check out some, lemme go look through my lists.
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
@DanitheCarutor I'd love to see other comics with intersex representation! And I think Julian totally counts? I don't see a problem with reconsidering a character's sex, gender, or orientation as we become more aware of issues in the world, or even just more aware of our own characters. Webcomics are always a work-in-progress and things change as we go.
eli [a winged tale]
@DanitheCarutor I’d love to know them too!
keii4ii
Re: clarity and confusion, sometimes a small change in wording or such can improve the clarity greatly, and that's great! But I agree that reader confusion doesn't necessarily = failure in storytelling. I've published my comic first in Korean, and a much improved version in English. The cultural difference in the audience has shown to be a huge factor in terms of what's clear and what isn't, or how certain things come across. And that's just one factor.
DanitheCarutor
So I only know of one comic personally, Drop-Out! Sure the characters are anthros, and the bubbles can be hard to read, but it is one of my favorite comics! Of course it's kinda heavy so be aware of that. http://drop-out.thecomicseries.com/ Although I checked out the Webcomic Library tagpacker and found a few. (including Drop-Out) https://tagpacker.com/user/webcomic.library?t=Intersex LGBT Webcomics also has a few that aren't listed in the above list. https://tagpacker.com/user/lgbtwebcomics?t=intersex @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) Lol yeah, I guess so. My readers made me put a lot of thought into it, and after the research being intersex actually fits a lot better with Julian's type of gender dysphoria and confusion than when they were AAB male. It also make some small, more intimate parts of the story feel more natural? It's hard to explain, it just feels better.(edited)
keii4ii
Like, making my work as accessible as possible has never been a goal for me with this story. So to me, it's not a failure that a large number of people can't see parts of the story that aren't being spelled out. I can totally respect "I want my work to be more accessible, so if all these people are not Getting It, then I need to do a better job" as a valid stance. Just not one I'm taking. It's all about individual goals and priorities.
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Oh boy, writing a fantasy story with a very developed culture is kinda scary, because NOBODY is going to pick up on cultural nuances except for me(edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
I DO want my work to be more accessible/reach a wider audience, but that still doesnt mean it will be for everyone, too.(edited)
keii4ii
Not gonna lie, I get a little salty when I see someone claiming their story is "for everyone." I feel like such a claim is disrespectful to different cultures and tastes.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i just started drop out and damn, that's one hell of an opening
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah I genuinely don't think it's possible to make a story for everyone lol
like... idk literally just by making it "sci fi" that excludes many people who just don't like sci-fi
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i've never seen anyone claiming their story is for everyone
Deo101 [Millennium]
I feel like just to get to your premise, not even your personal execution you're already super narrowing the people down who will be interested
which is fine!!! and is necessary to accept imo
keii4ii
@Eightfish (Puppeteer) I've seen it. Not often but I've definitely seen it.
I've even seen a creator accuse another person of being heartless because the person was not interested in their Very Emotional And Universally Heartfelt comic, so uhhh yeah
Deo101 [Millennium]
Ope
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Well then
That just sounds like an illusioned creator
Deo101 [Millennium]
I kinda like to think of it like music
I dont like a lot of songs that other people love, it's not that they're bad songs just... not for me(edited)
keii4ii
Yeah! I also think the word "taste" is very fitting
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah for sure
keii4ii
Some of us can eat ghost peppers like popcorns. Others would even avoid like... crackled black pepper
Deo101 [Millennium]
ahahhahaha
mac n cheese has a very wide audience, but some people aren't into it
DanitheCarutor
@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Lmao! Drop-Out is quite a unique piece of fiction. I have also seen creators who say their comic is for everyone, then get made when someone isn't interested.
Deo101 [Millennium]
I'm gonna start saying millennium is like mac n cheese now
keii4ii
@Deo101 [Millennium] That reminds me of "what drink would your comic be" !!
Deo101 [Millennium]
ahahahahah
someone: my comic is WATER EVERYONE NEEDS IT
keii4ii
I answered: "I want HoK to be liquid bacon fat, so that it'll stay in your heart forever."
Deo101 [Millennium]
ew LMAO
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
even if your comic is water, some people don't drink water
Deo101 [Millennium]
but cute? I gues????
DanitheCarutor
That sounds like a fun game, "If your comic were food what would it be?"
Mine would be sardine pizza, only weirdos like it.
Deo101 [Millennium]
next weeks creator babble question
LMSLDJGLASJGK
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
@DanitheCarutor its got such good art. The characters are so unique and expressive. Don't think I've seen anyone not use anti-aliasing on such detailed art before, but it works here
almost all webcomics are some weird food. We're niche just by nature
DanitheCarutor
It DOES have great art! And it gets better as you go too, by the time I reached the end then looked back on the first pages for nostalgia it was almost like night and day with the quality.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
fuck, really? but it's so polished already
DanitheCarutor
I mean, I guess that's not something to get excited about, most webcomics get better artwise as they go. Lmao! But still!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i love how the about page makes this sound like a fun roadtrip adventure
Deo101 [Millennium]
this feels mayble like the wrong chat for this discussion?
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
My comic would be a latte: A lot of people like it, but some people will never like coffee.
keii4ii
I can imagine HoK being like Chung Gook Jang soup? It's 1) Korean, 2) it warms you up, 3) it is very polarizing even among Koreans. It's kinda like... imagine miso soup on ultra mega steroid. Like a vegan version of supersharp stinky cheese. And 4) I love it.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
im alphabet soup because i have a fuckton of dialogue
Deo101 [Millennium]
I'm actually gonna stick with mac n cheese. a bit childish, but it's nice! you can do some fun things with it to shake things up, but it's still cheese and noodles.
keii4ii
Mac n cheese is amazing.
Deo101 [Millennium]
I love mac n cheese.
another reason why it's my comic! I love it, and it's something I can actually make
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
As for food, WotP would definitely something like authentic Mexican tacos. Again, generally well-received, but can be a bit intense for a lot of people
keii4ii
I really like food analogies. Sometimes it's not Gordon Ramsey you're trying to impress. Sometimes you want to make something you and/or your loved ones will enjoy, and if that's "WAY too much [ingredient]!!!!" for everyone else out there, that's not a flaw!
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah! :D
keii4ii
That's actually good food for thought (no pun intended): what niche aspects does your comic contain? How/why are they niche?
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
@Eightfish (Puppeteer) How do you do it?
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
I think I once described mine as a corrupted tropical cocktail. On the surface: sweet, pretty, very colorful - but all the ingredients used to make it are rotten
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I thought of Cricket as intersex for a long time and I still don't know exactly where I stand on that.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
I draw a diagram of where characters/ furniture are from above. Niche things: Most conflicts are resolved through anticlimactic conversation. Also there's this huge bit about consensual mind control. I wrote the comic I'd want to read, and somehow found a few people like me to follow along
I also usually don't have more than 2 characters interacting
so it's easier for me
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I have so many busy group scenes with people moving around. The most recent chapter was kind of a mess also because I wasn't really sure about the dimensions of the space they were all in
This scene was also pretty rushed in general
Re: intersex characters I feel like I've been shying away from that because I don't feel like I know enough about the topic to adequately represent intersex people
Joe Is Dead has a really specific aesthetic to it but I don't know how to define that niche. It's definitely something
Deo101 [Millennium]
I honestly could not answer that question about what niche things my comic contains. I don't know what about my comic is mainstream or not, I'm just making what I want to see and not really worrying about stuff like that.
keii4ii
For me, having an idea of what's niche about my comic actually lessens my worries!
It's a "okay, so I know these things are niche, which means people not liking or even getting those things =/= my failure!" kinda thing for me!
But I can also see how not thinking about what's niche or not can lessen the worries for others, too.
Deo101 [Millennium]
mhm, for me it means I can just go "well I like it anyways sooooooooo"
keii4ii
Yeah, that's the destination! We're just taking different routes to get there
Deo101 [Millennium]
I also genuinely just have a hard time determining whether or not something is niche
even if I thought about it for a while (I've been thinking about it since you asked, and I have thought about it before" I genuinely couldnt pinpoint it for you...
keii4ii
I used to beat myself up very badly every time someone didn't like a thing about my comic
Deo101 [Millennium]
D:
keii4ii
and "oh, 1) this is subjective, 2) I like it like this, and 3) my liking of it is valid" was how I crawled out of that hole
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
I don't know if my comic is specifically niche, unless you count "low fantasy" (or essentially fantasy with less magic and such) as niche
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
My comic has a lot of specific nautical and history content that you could call niche
Also surrealism
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
i would call Joe Is Dead "niche," but not WoTP
I've read both
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
I... used to think my comics weren't niche. Ohohohohoho how wrong I was!
Deo101 [Millennium]
Id say millennium isnt niche then it's basically just gay sci fi it's p straightforward
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
My comics are very, incredibly, undeniably niche.
DanitheCarutor
@sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD) It is difficult to understand if you're not intersex yourself, even though I studied a lot before making the decision about my character I still don't know if I'll represent the topic properly. The best you can really do is get into researching all the medical stuff, talk to people willing to share their experiences with being intersex, and watch videos of people talking about it from a professional and personal perspective. The hardest thing to get right about something so subjective and personal is that everyone's experiences are different, so no matter how much you research you just gotta do your best with the info you have, then figure out how your character would experience it personally.(edited)
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
I don't think anything magical happens until Chapter 11 of WotP, now that I think about it
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Also @DanitheCarutor thank you for the links!! I'll have to give those comics a look!
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I’m still backreading and I just saw the food question, that is great
JID would be saltcod
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Ooooh
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
Or like pickled herring maybe
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Bacalao
Noice
(Bacalao = Puerto Rican salted cod)
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
They have it in spain too iirc
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Ashes would be very bitter black coffee someone forgot to drink and it's just been sitting there for two days. Eryl would be well-aged wine spiked with tabasco sauce.
DanitheCarutor
Sorry for derailing. Anyways, I feel like my entire comic is just a ball of niche? The subject matters are uncommon and the main characters are awful and unreliable, but that's my aesthetic so I'm sticking to it. I've never particularly cared about people liking my comic due growing up not being liked myself (you kinda get over it after a while), but I do like finding people like me. @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) No problem! I hoard stuff like that, so I probably have a link for everything.
Urm, I don't mean I like finding unlikable people like me, I mean people who like the same types of stories as me.
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Honestly, Dani, I connect to your comic quite a lot, for what it's worth!
DanitheCarutor
Thank you! ;v; In a way it's kind of nice having a comic that doesn't fit in. It tends to stand out, especially with my choice of medium. Although at the same times it's really hard to get feedback that applies to what you're doing! Arg!
keii4ii
It is such a Struggle, for sure -- getting relevant feedback
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
I feel you! I'm in the same boat with Ashes. It's also incredibly niche and there just aren't that many pencil comics out there- coloured or graphite.
DanitheCarutor
Being a creator who likes feedback, but also likes making niche content, is so hard! Why can't everyone like niche content??
Lmao!
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
As niche as the setting and tone of Joe Is Dead are, the main story arc is a very generic hero adventure thing that I hope will appeal to wide audiences
eli [a winged tale]
Niche content
I’d love to know more! What niches are you exploring?
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
The nicest thing anyone's said about Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R http://sgkdr.thecomicseries.com/comics/ is that they really became invested in the characters. Like, that's the kind of story I want to make - the kind where the characters really stick with you.
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
As for what food my comic would be... I'd say squid ink pasta. It's the kind of food that makes you go "what the heck is going on here" if you're new to it, but once you actually eat it you'll (hopefully) go "oh, that made way more sense than i expected and was actually pretty tasty"
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I don't know if you're talking to me directly but I'm using a lot of maritime history and literature stuff that I've been obsessed with for a long time as the setting of the story, and then the whole thing has a really morbid and nihilistic tone, while also somehow being funny because I have a background in comedy/satire writing
And then heavy biblical themes
It's essentially a Renaissance period retelling of the Joseph story from the bible
With pirates instead of shepherds
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
For me, I’m not even sure what niche Ashes belongs to. (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/cos/) It’s dark, it’s weird, it has a twisty plot that slowly trickles information, and it’s an odd mash-up of genres. I often try to describe it as Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children meets Farthing Wood. It’s mostly urban fantasy with some horror elements and talking animals. Basically it’s about a bunch of unaging teenagers with supernatural, angel-gifted powers and a bunch of woodland critters fighting (although so far it’s more running from) eldritch monsters. But it’s main focus is on each character battling either mental illness or some other kind of inner demon.
keii4ii
There's also the aspect of: what's niche in one culture may not be niche in another. In Korean media, Fantastical Old Korea is a very common setting for all sorts of genres: gag a day, romance, all-ages adventure, gritty crime drama, zombie apocalypse, you name it. If the work spends a lot of visuals showing mundane everyday moments, often that's a shorthand for "sit down and stay a while; this is a heartfelt tale that takes its time." My comic uses such a setting. When I began to publish it in English, I was surprised that people were expecting it to be one of these AND NOTHING ELSE: a) exciting magical action adventure b) mythology-driven, all about gods and spirits My comic is neither of those. It definitely contains elements of adventure, but that's the plate the meat is served on, not the meat itself. So I guess the usage of the setting is niche.
Like, imagine a civilian life drama set in WWII time. The civilian MC may have a family member or a close friend in the military, but the story focuses on the MC's experience. Imagine presenting that story and people expect it to be... military action? Not a perfect analogy, but hopefully a good enough one.
Kelsey (Kurio)
To be fair, Korea would find fantastical old Korea less exotic than those outside of Korea heh
keii4ii
That is definitely a factor. Even today, you can find semi-Old Days-like places IRL within like... 3 hours of drive.
I'm weirded out that my culture is considered exotic, but it is what it is
(To clarify, weirded out =/= offended.)
Kelsey (Kurio)
Well any culture can be exotic to people outside of that culture
As an outsider looking in, it can be fascinating to learn about a culture I don't know much about
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Anything unfamiliar is usually considered exotic. I know in both England and America, I never really learned anything about any Asian country growing up. I had to seek out the info myself, and as it was very unfamiliar to me, it seemed exotic!
Kelsey (Kurio)
Especially their myths and stories
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Oops, exactly what Kelsey said, I typed too slow.
keii4ii
Yeah, the thing is I've been told I should not be using this setting to tell this story because it's a doomed combination. But ehh, I decided not to listen to that. This story with this setting and all of its elements is what I wanted to read.
carcarchu
slice of life set in a historical setting sounds really refreshing actually(edited)
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
But I know I’d probably feel strange if someone told me New York was exotic!
carcarchu
sometimes historical settings can get really bogged down by politics and whatever other drama, having a quiet slow paced story set in the same kind of world is something i'd be interested in reading
Kelsey (Kurio)
Nothing wrong with trying the approach you want to
Who knows, you might end up with a unique combo that helps your work stand out
Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)
Yup. I’m a firm believer in writing the kind of story you’d want to read. No matter how niche.
Tuyetnhi
Totes agreed on this. For me, when I had to drop my dark drama series for my romance story, folks were like "Dang, I thought you like writing dark things!"
I do, but romance comics.... [clenches chest]. I also want to write a story that I want to read so lmao. Dream lover elements along with some dark horror influences is something I want to try doing lol
carcarchu
this is not a webcomic but try reading coelacanth if you're interested in the combination of horror with romance @Tuyetnhi
Tuyetnhi
ooo I'll keep that in mind
carcarchu
it's really so unique i love coelacanth so much
Tuyetnhi
is it a novel? :0
carcarchu
it's a manga
Tuyetnhi
aaa
Yeah I probably check it out sometime lmao
back on the idea tho, I also wanted to add some Vietnamese influences in the mix since there's not a lot of stories about Vietnamese disapora, so that's included in the cauldron lol
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
@keii4ii what's your comic? I wanna check it out(edited)
keii4ii
@Eightfish (Puppeteer) It's https://heartofkeol.com/
(I get extremely nervous whenever I know someone is checking out my comic for the first time )
DanitheCarutor
To answer @eli [a winged tale] question. I'm delving into stuff like mental illnesses and disorders, medical illnesses, abuse, trauma and later on, self-care. The comic itself is slow and character centric, I guess you can say it's like a character study. The story can be really depressing depending on who is reading, and it has some softcore horror bits sprinkled in. I'm kind of a nerd for mental health, sad stuff and everything medical so I figured I may as well make a story embellishing those interests. In short it's a sad, character driven, psychological drama about two extremely flawed individuals. Not particularly exciting compared to all the other webcomics out there, but somebody has to make that one pretentious, psychological slice of life piece.
keii4ii
What compounds my issues is that my comic does have enough adventure elements for someone to mistake it for an underwhelming adventure story. "This is an adventure story but there's not enough adventure in it?" kinda thing.
@DanitheCarutor Character studies FTW!!! Yours has been on my 'gotta check this out' list for a long time now!
Tuyetnhi
Oooo
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
I also am a fan of psychological stories
Especially if they're sad(edited)
Tuyetnhi
Kei idk why but I was reminded of .hack SIGN when u said that
"there's so much talking! where's the action?!?"
keii4ii
@Tuyetnhi That's actually not a terrible comparison -- though .hack//SIGN has other issues that my comic hopefully doesn't have XD
Tuyetnhi
I'm pretty sure it's miles better than that old anime lmao
DanitheCarutor
@keii4ii Pff I need to check out your comic too! I remember reading it at one point, but I don't remember what happened to make me lose track. From what little I remember I really liked it.
keii4ii
The thing with .hack//SIGN was it had a lot of promises of mystery that never went anywhere, within SIGN. I've heard those mysteries do go somewhere within the franchise, but you had to watch/read the entire franchise, which I wasn't going to do. I hope my comic will be a good read on its own, when finished.
Tuyetnhi
sadly, I was one of those suckers that went to consume the .hack games and mangas to get some context from SIGN in the late 2000's lmao
I hope the same as mine, despite being mostly saccharine and self-indulgent nature lmao
keii4ii
Self-indulgence is a strength of indie comics.
eli [a winged tale]
I love all the themes y’all explore! They’re so important
Tuyetnhi
I feel like I have a reason for everything when working on that comic but if that's what it boils down to, I'll take it lol
keii4ii
TBH I produce my best writing and art when I focus on pleasing myself.
Because if I'm trying to please others, I don't even know what they want, so I waste my energy panicking.
But when I'm creating for my inner reader, I can be self-critical in a productive manner!
Tuyetnhi
so true ya
RebelVampire
Hey guys. I kind of feel as this has deviated a smidgen too far from the topic, so maybe reel it in just a smidgen. XD(edited)
Desnik
so the nicest thing anyone's ever said about my comic is that they wanna read more :3
I kinda dread reader dropoffs so the will to see the whole story through fills me with joy
1 note · View note
ladyfogg · 4 years
Text
May I? - 13/?
May I? - 13/?
Fic Summary: Ensign Faith Diaz struggles to hide her mental illness from her fellow shipmates aboard the Enterprise until an intrigued Data goes out of his way to try to understand her behavior. At his insistence, Faith tries to figure out what she’s truly passionate about and eventually seeks the professional help she needs. Fic Masterpost.
Fic Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Data/Female OC
Warnings: tw: depression, tw: anxiety, fluff, friends to lovers, eventual smut
Tumblr media
Screenshot by @ geekygwen
Data was able to track Barclay down in Engineering.
"Lieutenant," he said, approaching the man. "Faith and I will be going on an away mission while the Enterprise is docked for repairs. Would you be available to care for Spot while we are gone?"
"I would love to," Barclay said. "Have there been any changes to her routine that I should know about?"
"No, all is as it was the last time. Thank you for your help." Data gave him a nod and turned to go.
"Commander?" Barclay asked.
Data paused and turned back. "Yes?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Yes. Proceed."
Barclay took a nervous step forward and in a low voice asked, "Are the rumors true? Are you and Faith...in-involved?"
"Yes," Data said, curious about Barclay's tone. "Was there a particular reason you wanted to know?"
"No! No, not at all," Barclay said. "Just curious." He hurried away and Data watched him go, confused.
He stopped by Geordi's office. "I just had the strangest conversation with Lieutenant Barclay," he said. "He inquired about whether or not Faith and I are involved."
Geordi chuckled. "It's the latest gossip," he said, looking up from his work. "And I think Barclay might have had a thing for Faith at some point."
"Ah. I see. Could this be jealousy?" 
"From Reg? Nah. He's not the type." Geordi leaned back in his seat with a grin. "So, are you excited?"
"About what?"
"The mission. You and Faith. Alone. For three days."
"Is there a particular reason why I should be?" Data asked. 
"Data, you both have been working non-stop since you got together. This will actually be the first time you get to spend time alone as a couple."
"Not true," Data corrected. "We spend every evening together after our duties."
Geordi's eyebrows shot up. "Way to brag," he teased.
"I was not bragging. I was stating a fact. And if you are assuming we have intercourse during that time, you are incorrect."
"Have you done anything physical?"
"We have kissed. Faith is uncomfortable with the discussion of sex and as I have no sexual desires of my own, a slow approach is satisfactory."
"Understandable, but even if you aren't intimate, you can still make your time together romantic."
"I created a romance program in the past when Jenna and I were together. I was told it felt forced and scripted."
"That doesn't mean Faith will feel the same way, or that you need to make the same exact program for her."
"Then what would you recommend?"
Geordi thought for a moment. "How about you create a new one?" He suggested. "Instead of focusing on the supposed interaction between couples this time, focus on the actual acts of romance."
"Such as?"
"You know candlelit dinners, soft music, flowers, chocolates," Geordi listed. "Little things that show her you care."
Data began to download the information Geordi suggested. "I will keep that in mind. Thank you, Geordi."
"Anytime, buddy. Have fun."
Data knew Geordi meant well but they were Starfleet officers first, and the mission would need to come before personal matters. Still, there was no harm in using the downtime to get closer to Faith. He had not forgotten their passionate kisses in the turbo-lift, or how Faith's body fit perfectly against his.
He arrived at her quarters to pick her up. She was ready but seemed nervous. Considering this would be her first away mission, he was not surprised. 
"Are you ready to go?" he asked.
"As ready as I'll ever be."
"Did you pack your medication?"
"Dr. Crusher gave me a long-lasting dose. I'm good for two weeks."
Data nodded in understanding. He tapped his communicator. "Commander Data to Captain Picard. Lieutenant Diaz and I are on our way to shuttle bay one."
"Acknowledged. I will meet you there shortly. Picard out."
The two left Faith's quarters and headed for the shuttle bay. When they arrived, Data led her to the shuttle they'd be taking. It was small but would suit their needs fine. He stepped on to begin preparations but Faith hung back.
Data paused and turned to look at her. "Is there a problem?" he asked.
She took a deep breath. "No, not really. It's just a big step. I need a minute."
"Take your time." 
Data allowed her to stay behind as he continued with the launch preparations. Eventually, she joined him, carefully stowing her bag in the luggage compartment before sitting in the co-pilot seat.
"It is just like flight training at the Academy," Data said as she looked through the controls.
"I remember. Hated it then too."
Data looked over, noting her rigid posture. He reached out to place a hand on hers, making her pause her work and look at him. "I am here with you. Remember that."
Faith smiled and squeezed his hand. "You're amazing, you know that?"
He smiled back.
Behind them, someone cleared their throat and both turned to see the captain standing there.
"It seems I'm intruding again on another personal moment," he said with the barest hint of a smile.
"Captain!" Data exclaimed as he and Faith both stood dutifully. "I apologize if that was inappropriate."
Picard chuckled. "Mr. Data, comforting your significant other is not inappropriate," he said. "At ease, both of you."
Faith relaxed next to him while Data eased his stance. "We are just about ready to depart, sir," he said.
"Good. We have the last away team's assessment of the ruins but I want you two to search deeper. See if there is anything that was missed. This creature had to come from somewhere."
"Understood, captain."
"While this mission is serious, your safety is more important. Should you encounter that ship again, turn around and return immediately. I also want you to keep in contact with regular subspace communications," Picard ordered. "Understood?"
"Yes, sir," Faith and Data replied.
Picard gave them a firm nod. "Good. Commander Riker will let you know when you can expect to rendezvous with us once repairs are complete. Good luck."
He left the shuttle and Faith took another deep breath. "Alright," she said, voice sounding stronger. "Let's do this."
They took their seats in the cockpit and began take-off procedures. Data kept an eye on Faith but with each step, she grew more comfortable. Her knowledge of the shuttlecraft was sound and seemed to come back to her after several moments. Eventually, they were clear of the Enterprise and the starbase, soaring through the black vacuum of space.
"It's not so bad once you get used to it," Faith commented, leaning back in her seat. "It's actually pretty peaceful."
"The quiet of the shuttle does offer a level of comfort," he said. "In fact, you should use the time to catch up on your sleep."
"I'm alright for now, but thanks for the suggestion. By the way, has me staying with you been too much? I feel like I'm taking up your evenings and I don't want to cut into your alone time."
"I enjoy your company. I do not mind," Data said, eyes still on the console as he studied the sensors. "Besides, I have alone time when you are asleep. If it becomes an issue, I will say so."
"Okay, good," Faith said with relief. "I like spending evenings with you. It helps me unwind. Though, you don't have to dream on the couch if you don't want to."
At this, Data looked up at her, cocking his eyebrow. "Do you wish to share a bed next time you sleep?"
Faith shrugged her shoulders, appearing calm on the outside. Data still heard her heart racing. "If that's something you're comfortable with, I would be too."
Data had never shared a bed with someone before. It was a human ritual that had eluded him up until that point. The idea that Faith was offering him such an experience was intriguing. 
"When we return I would very much like to try," he said. "I am afraid the bunks here on the shuttle are only large enough for one person."
She smiled that bright smile Data had painted many times during the weeks they had spent together. "It's a date."
He smiled back before returning to his work. The way to the planet seemed to be clear. Data did have to adjust their heading to avoid an unexpected asteroid but other than that, they were in for a routine shuttle ride. 
The silence between them was as comfortable as it always was. It reminded Data of the hours they had spent in Engineering, which they had not been able to do since the creature was found.
After three hours and sixteen minutes, Faith stood from her seat with a stretch.
"I'm going to go rest for a bit," she said, leaning in to kiss Data on the forehead. "Don't work too hard."
"I shall try not to."
She left the cockpit and settled in the back of the shuttle where the sleeping bunks were. Data kept his eyes on the stars ahead but mentally he had formulated a plan for the evening.
One thing he learned from his romance research was the idea of the "romantic" surprise. Since his conversation with Geordi, Data had done a download of romance based on his suggestions. 
Data knew Faith would most likely fall asleep soon. The previous night she had tossed and turned throughout most of the evening. He suspected she was more tired than she realized.
Sure enough, ten minutes later, when Data rose from his seat to check on her, she was fast asleep. He watched her for a moment, before quietly moving into the dining area. 
Once he was there, he got to work setting up the table. While the replicator was not as powerful as the one on the Enterprise, he was able to use what he had.
It did not take long until everything was ready. Data made sure the table was perfect before he went to wake Faith. 
He stopped for a moment to admire her sleeping form again. It was one of the few times she was completely at ease and he enjoyed seeing her body without the tension of anxiety.
Data sat on the edge of her bunk but paused when he felt something under the blanket. He reached beneath him and pulled out a book. It had no words on the cover but when he cracked it open, he realized it was not just any book. 
The first page was a collection of crude, shakey looking drawings. Several were scratched out and it was difficult to decipher what they were meant to be.
Data was curious, but he also understood the need for privacy so he quietly closed the sketchbook and placed it back where he found it. He was proud that Faith was trying something new. With the workload she currently had, she and Data had not had a chance to discuss creative endeavors. It was nice she was exploring them on her own.
"Faith?" Data called in a soft voice as he reached out to take her sleeping hand. "Faith?"
She stirred before her eyes fluttered open. When she saw Data, she gave him a sleepy smile. "Hey, you," she said, voice hoarse. "Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep. Was I out for long?"
"Only thirty-three minutes. I have prepared dinner for you."
Faith sat up, easing her legs over the side of the bunk. "You're too good to me. Just give me a moment to wake up." She yawned and stretched, raising her arms above her head.
Data followed the way her uniform hugged her frame when she moved. Her back arched to an almost obscene degree and he could not help but recall the erotic images he had subjected himself to when trying to elicit an emotional response. 
She sagged with relief and lay her head on his shoulder. "This is nice," she said. "Just the two of us. I know we've barely started the trip but I'm already enjoying the quiet."
"That is unsurprising. You tend to become over-stimulated due to your anxiety. There are fewer stimuli on the shuttle."
"And I get a really handsome android all to myself." She tilted her face up towards his expectedly. 
Data leaned down to place a peck on her lips. "I suggest you eat before we try anything sexual. You will need your energy for such activities."
Faith pulled back, eyebrows raised as she smirked in amusement. "Are you planning on seducing me, Data?" she asked teasingly. 
"I assumed with your flirting and temperature increase you were becoming aroused. I merely stated an observation."
Faith chuckled and got to her feet, pulling him up with her. "Come on, Casanova. Let's have dinner."
Data showed her to the dining area, but before she rounded the corner, he came up behind her and covered her eyes.
"Uh, what are you doing?" she asked.
"I have seen this done when one person is attempting to surprise the other," he said. 
"Wait, you have a surprise for me?"
Data led her forward before dropping his hands from her eyes. She gasped in delight when she saw the table.
He had placed a white blanket over it to act as a tablecloth. Two plates of grilled salmon along with two glasses of wine sat across from each other. Between them, electric candles flickered with fake flames as if they were real. 
"We have not had a proper first date yet," Data said, holding the chair out for her. "Since we are alone, I concluded now would be the ideal time to try again."
Faith took a seat, smiling up at him as he pushed her chair in. "It's wonderful! Thank you! You definitely surprised me."
Data smiled and took the seat across from her. "So, Faith, do you have any siblings?"
She gave him a curious look and chuckled. "That's a random question," she said.
"I am attempting the standard first date inquiries," Data explained. "I have composed a list of fifty-one questions designed to stimulate conversation and help us to become better acquainted."
"Ah, okay. Well, most people start with a few pleasantries first."
"Oh. I see." Data studied her for a moment before leaning on the table towards her. He gave her a wide smirk, quirking his eyebrow. "You are looking exceptionally ravishing this evening via candlelight, my dear."
Faith laughed, though by the way she smiled Data could tell she was pleased, if not highly amused. "Well, thank you," she said. "And may I say, you're the most handsome android I've ever known."
"I am the only android you have ever known."
"Fair point. Then, you're the most handsome and considerate man I've ever met."
She lifted her wine glass in a toast. Data copied her, tapping their glasses together before each took a sip.
"To answer your question, no, I don't have any siblings. Do you?" She began to eat her salmon.
"Yes. I have a brother."
He had never told Faith about Lore and he could see that she was surprised by his answer. "I didn't know that," she said. "You haven't mentioned him."
"Lore is a particularly difficult subject," Data said. "He endangered the lives of the Enterprise crew and is responsible for the death of Dr. Soong."
Faith froze, mid-bite. "He...he killed your father?"
"Yes."
Faith put her fork down. "Data, I am so sorry. I had no idea."
"I would not expect you to have known. It is not something I tend to advertise."
"Still...wow." 
"What is your favorite childhood memory?"
"Hold on, can we go back to the brother thing?"
"Certainly. What do you wish to know?"
"Where is he now? Are you in contact with him?"
Data shook his head. "No, I am not. I do not know where Lore is. He disappeared after taking the emotion chip my father designed for me."
"The what?!"
"Emotion chip. Dr. Soong designed a chip that would allow me to feel basic human emotion. However, Lore took it when he departed."
She stated at Data with a look of utter shock. "I...have no words."
"I understand this is a particularly strange set of circumstances."
"Yeah, you could say that." She picked up her abandoned fork. "I also realize that I haven't been doing a very good job of asking you about yourself. I apologize for that."
"You do not need to apologize," Data assured her. "I assumed you would ask once you were comfortable sharing more about yourself."
She smiled at him and reached across the table to briefly squeeze his hand. "Sorry, I sort of derailed the conversation. You asked me another question and I ignored it. We can change the subject if you'd like, I'm just...processing."
"I do wish to change the subject," Data said. "I asked what your favorite childhood memory is?"
Faith took a moment to gather her thoughts, chewing on another bite of food. Data copied her actions, eating his own salmon for the sake of appearances.
"Probably with my mother, back on Earth," she said. "Before she got sick she was a trainer at the Academy. It was just the two of us so before I started school she would take me to work with her and let me sit in on her lessons."
"You must have retained a lot of information."
Faith shrugged. "Some. But mostly I liked watching her command the room. She was a short, thin Latina woman who could shut down any loud-mouth with just a look."
"That sounds like someone else I know."
Chuckling, Faith took a sip of wine. "Except for the thin part."
"And your father?"
"He died before I was born. He was a Starfleet officer."
"Is that what interested you in joining the Federation?"
"Yeah. I sort of felt like I had to, you know? For them?"
Data tilted his head and stared at her curiously. "Do you enjoy being in Starfleet?"
"You know, for a while, I wasn't sure," she admitted. "But...it definitely has its perks." She gave him a bright smile and cleared her throat. "So what other questions do you have?"
They chatted for a time while Faith finished her dinner. Data could not help but notice the difference between their current and their first attempt. She had been so closed off and distant then, yet now she was open and honest, sharing bits of herself with him. She asked her fair share of questions as well and it was two hours and twenty-one minutes later when they finished their meal.
"Well, I can honestly say that was the most enjoyable first date I've ever had," Faith said as they cleaned up their plates.
"It is not over yet."
"Oh?" 
"Computer, music." Soft orchestral music began to play throughout the shuttle and Data gave Faith a deep bow as he offered her his hand.
Her smile faded into a look of wonder as she shyly accepted. Data pulled her out of the dining area into the main room before he tugged her in close, one hand coming to rest on her waist. He began to lead her through a simple waltz.
She stumbled once or twice, wincing and apologizing until she eventually got the hang of it. 
Data enjoyed the way her hand fit his. He stared down into her eyes as they moved to the music, studying every minute detail. Her expression was soft and her body relaxed the longer the moved. Eventually, she pressed her cheek to his chest, bringing a different level of intimacy to the dance. 
He wanted to kiss her again.
Data let go of her hand so he could gently cup her cheek, drawing back from the embrace. She looked up at him questioningly.
"May I?" he asked.
Her smile grew and she nodded. Their lips met as they had done previously, but with more confidence from both parties. 
Data slid his arm around her waist, drawing her flush against his chest as he deepened the kiss. When they broke so she could breathe, they remained close, her warm breath ghosting across his lips.
"Data," Faith said in a low voice he had never heard from her. "Can I ask something of you?"
"Yes." He knew she could ask anything of him at that moment and he would do it without question or hesitation.
"Touch me."
Data blinked in confusion. "I am touching you, am I not?"
Faith chuckled, taking his hand from her cheek and placing it on her breast. " Touch me, Data."
"Oh. I see."
Data kissed her deeply, his hand squeezing her breast lightly before he began to direct her backwards towards the bunks. At the last moment, he turned, allowing him to sit and pull her down with him.
She followed through with the movement, straddling his lap as she pushed her tongue past his lips. He accepted the intrusion with enthusiasm, his hands now free to roam her back.
Their kisses were heated and sloppy. Faith seemed eager but nervous, her hands gripping his shoulders to steady herself. He could feel her bottom lip trembling and he drew back to look at her. 
"Do you wish to stop?" he asked.
Faith shook her head. "No. No, I want to keep going."
"Please do not be afraid to change your mind if you need to."
"I'm just a little nervous. I'm okay." She leaned in to kiss him again.
Satisfied that she wanted to continue, Data kissed her back, his hands resuming their exploration. One came to rest on her lower back to offer support, while the other slid between them, cupping her breast through her uniform.
Faith let out a small gasp, her teeth grazing his bottom lip in excitement. Spurred on by her reaction, Data squeezed again before allowing his thumb to drag circles around her nipple. It instantly responded to his touch, pebbling beneath the thick material. 
She moaned, rocking her body against his eagerly. Data could read her temperature rising. His own body's sexual functionality began to respond and he could sense himself grow hard at the stimulation. 
Faith must have felt it because she broke the kiss with a soft gasp, looking down at him in awe. "Automatic response?" she asked.
"Yes," Data answered. "Your body is triggering my sexual protocol."
She gave him an impish grin, pressing their foreheads together as she ground down again at him. "Is that your way of saying that I turn you on?"
"Literally and contextually it would seem."
"I'm honored." She kissed him deeply. 
Data continued to massage her breast, enthralled by the way Faith reacted with each tweak and rub of her nipple. She blindly reached for his wrist, pulling his hand behind her back until his fingers brushed the zipper of her suit.
Taking the hint, Data pulled it down, noting the way the tight fabric loosened and Faith's breathing hitched. She dragged the top portion down her shoulders and arms, slipping free of it before letting it bunch around her waist.
Data let his lips leave hers to trail across her cheek, down to her neck, his hands mapping her newly exposed skin. It was smooth and soft, with the occasional mole catching under his fingertips. 
"Your touch is electric," she gasped, hips still rocking downward. 
Data paused and drew back to look up at her with concern. He was not prepared for the sight he was met with. Her pupils were dilated, giving the impression that her eyes were black. Her lips were plump and red from their kisses.
It was a sight he would make a point to recall for a future painting.
"Is my touch harming you?" he asked. "I do not sense any static discharge."
Faith chuckled, taking one of his hands and slotting her fingers between his. "I only meant that when you touch me…" She brought his hand to her bare breast. "My body comes alive."
Data was entranced. Being so close and intimate with Faith was unlike anything he had ever experienced. Her reactions to his mere touch were what he would describe as intoxicating. It consumed his thoughts, all other processes taking a backseat to what was happening right then and there.
He rubbed her breast, his other arm tightening around her waist to yank her as close as she could possibly be. She slid her fingers through his hair, tugging slightly to draw him into a harsh kiss.
They rocked together in unison. Faith settled her knees on either side of his thigh, grinding herself against him as he massaged her breast. His thumb found her nipple again, still stiff from his earlier stimulation. 
He could sense the heat of her arousal through their pants, but whatever she was doing seemed to be enough for her because she made no indication that she wanted or needed his hand between her legs. So he focused on her lips and chest. They moved that way for some time, slow and steady without the need to rush.
When she broke their kiss, gasping for breath, Data kissed her throat before placing a trail down her collarbone. He cupped her breast and slipped her nipple between her lips, sucking gently.
Faith's moan was borderline pornographic. Still gripping his hair, her other hand came up to rest on the wall behind the bunk to steady herself. Data rocked his leg up along with her downward movements and the next thing he knew, her body locked into place, shuddering above him as she orgasmed.
Data looked up to catch her expression, completely enamored by the pure ecstasy. 
She slumped against him shuddering and panting. Data buried his face in her neck, inhaling her scent as he rubbed her back in soothing circles.
Without stimulation, his own arousal faded but he was far more focused on Faith to pay it much thought. Although, he did wonder what she would look like touching him. But they could explore that another time.
Data shifted them so they were laying on the small bunk, letting Faith rest closer to the wall so he could give her as much space as possible. He was partially hanging over the edge but it did not bother him.
Faith placed her hand on his cheek, staring deep into his eyes. "That was...beautiful."
"You are beautiful." His words did not come from any program. They came from his own observations.
Faith smiled and kissed him softly.
Data could only theorize about the shift between them. He understood intimate and erotic acts brought couples closer together, but this seemed far more important than he anticipated.
He watched Faith's eyes flutter close, a strange sensation building in his chest. 
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