#richard hertz x reader

[luminnara]

My ex’s best friend | blackguard x reader NSFW 18+

The reader’s had a little crush on Dick for a while, but could never act on it. Now that they’re both in prison at Belle Reve, maybe it’s time to finally do something about it...

This is sorta (very) inspired by My Ex’s Best Friend by MGK, also I made a Blackguard playlist because I’m in so deep now

PART TWO 

warnings: dick is a dick, language, sexy shtuff in part two!

You know my ex and that makes it all so complicated...

“Yeah, that guy’s a real dick.”

That’s what you always used to say. Whenever your bff complained about her lame, no-good, obnoxious boyfriend, that’s how you would agree with whatever she was talking about. You always laughed at the pun, too--seriously, how was that guy’s real name Dick Hertz? At least it was fitting for him. Your friend never laughed as much as you did, instead always rolling her eyes and agreeing with you. Honestly, with the amount of complaining she did, you wondered why she even stayed with the guy—but every time you saw him, you knew the answer: he was, unfortunately, pretty fucking hot, and when he wasn’t being an idiot, he had this sweet puppy dog quality that you absolutely adored.

You got along well with him, too. While your friend was more of a goody two shoes type of person, who was always aiming higher and climbing that corporate ladder, you and Dick were both guns for hire. You had a lot in common—an appreciation for a nice firearm, a disregard for the law, a lack of common decency—but whenever he was around, you were excusing yourself as quickly as possible. His relationship with your best friend wasn’t exactly going well, and being in the same room as the two of them when the arguing started wasn’t exactly fun.

When they finally broke up, it was his call. Dick couldn’t take it anymore, he told your friend. He wasn’t eloquent about it, because how could he be? He was a rude, immature, super powered criminal whose idea of a fun time was blowing people’s heads off. He told your friend that they were done, and then she called you sobbing, and then you came over and ate ice cream on the couch while she cried on your shoulder. And, like always, you said the same old line:

“Yeah, that guy’s a real dick.”

It was a breakup that you’d been expecting for a long time, and just like that, he’d become your best friend’s ex. Was he really in the wrong for dumping someone he didn’t have anything in common with? You couldn’t really say. Your friend wasn’t taking it very well, though, mourning the loss of a relationship she had always seemed to hate. She spat venom whenever she talked about him, which was a lot, and after a few weeks, she started asking you to keep tabs on him.

Was it very healthy? No, not at all. You knew your friend wasn’t moving on very well, but you were also curious about what Dick was up to. So, you tracked him down, paying attention to the way he moved around the city at night, admiring him from the rooftops whenever you spotted him in that sexy gear of his. Did you have a thing for Dick Hertz? Oh yeah. Were you too afraid to act on it, even though he was no longer dating your friend? Absolutely.

Did you want to hook up with him? Totally. He was exactly your type, and you were both probably sneaky enough that your friend would never find out...but you felt like it would be wrong to go behind her back and fuck Dick. Wasn’t there some sort of code about that? You didn’t follow the law most of the time, but you figured you should at least follow that. You had to just settle for watching him strut around, guns and knives in hand, learning more and more about him from afar than you ever had from talking to him.

Your surveillance on Blackguard was what alerted you to his arrest. He got caught up in a job gone wrong, and next thing you knew, you were watching your friend’s face light up in glee at the news.

“About time!” She said when you told her. “I’ve been waiting for them to finally lock him up for ages.”

It made you frown. “You know I’m in the same line of work as him, right?”

“Oh, yeah. That’s right.” She shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant, but alarm bells were ringing in your head.

It was only a little while later that you were arrested in a similar fashion...and whose face did you see in the court room? Your best friend’s, of course. She even testified against you, making your mercenary work seem way worse than anything you were being charged with. She talked you up so much, you got a life sentence...and a new arch nemesis.

You were seriously pissed. Of course you were. When you were transferred to Belle Reve, the prison with the notoriously high mortality rate, you were even more pissed. As you were led to the women’s side, shackled and following in a line with a few other new transfers, you were already plotting your revenge. You were so distracted by thoughts of breaking into your now-ex friend’s apartment, in fact, that you barely noticed the whistles and jeers from the male inmates as you were led through one of their cell blocks.

It didn’t seem super safe, the way they were just dragging you through like that, but nothing at Belle Reve was safe. You figured this must contribute to their staggeringly high mortality rates.

One man wasn’t cat calling, though, even though he usually did. He was too busy staring after you, at the one person he never expected to see again but desperately wished he could:

His ex’s best friend.

Dick watched you disappear through the doors at the end of the block, blinking in disbelief. How’d you even end up in there? You were always good at your job, and in the months he’d been dating your friend, he had never seen you catch any heat.

He frowned. Your friend...well, that was a common denominator. No point in dwelling on it now, though; you were both locked up, she was on the outside probably having a great time without either of you, and if he didn’t figure out how to escape a prison built to house the type of people who tried to kill Superman on the reg, Dick was gonna waste away in there. You were, too; Belle Reve wasn’t for people with short sentences, it was for people who were supposed to be locked up for life.

As he sauntered back towards his cell, Dick grinned. At least he had something to break up all the monotony now. At least he had you.

He didn’t see you again for a week. It’s not like they were ever going to let you intermingle, so he had to stay on his best behavior and hope that it would result in being let out in the big yard for rec time, the yard where all the good kids got to play. When all of his obedience was rewarded just like he had hoped, Dick found himself walking out into the sunlight, joining some of his more mild mannered peers for their usual daily outdoor time.

The yard was depressing. Dry, patchy grass dotted the cracked pavement, a few shitty looking benches placed around a shitty looking table. Some of the guys were trying to play with a deflated basketball, tossing it through a rusty, net less hoop, but with no shade to shield them from the harsh midday sun, they were all moving slowly.

Dick could care less about the prison yard and all its shortcomings. As soon as he was out, he was making a beeline for the tall fence that divided it into two sides, walking up to it and looking through the wire hopefully. The division was the reason that you had to be on your best behavior to go out in the main yard, because on the other side of the fence were the girls.

You sighed to yourself. Orange really wasn’t your color, and you had already spent a whole week wearing it. Belle Reve was hard to get out of, and by the looks of things, you were gonna be stuck in this uniform for a long, long time.

Everything about the prison sucked. The food was bad. The guards were irritating. The other inmates were dangerous. You could have been at home, going about your business as usual, but no...you had to be in America’s worst fucking jail.

At least you got to go outside. You were one of the more relaxed inmates at Belle Reve, harmless in comparison to some of the others. There were self proclaimed alien warlords, assassins, other mercenaries who were way scarier than you...you had already heard there was even a talking shark over on the men’s side.

Your reputation was enough to keep people off your back, allowing you to at least enjoy your daily hour of outside time in peace. Today, you were spending it sitting against a fence on the far side of the yard, facing the men so that you could zone out while you watched them. You didn’t feel like going too close to the dividing line and hearing all the creative ways they wanted to fuck you, but since you spent all your time with the girls, they were better for people watching.

They were boring today, though, and you leaned your head back with a sigh. You’d get out eventually, you knew you would. Whether during a raid, an explosive bust, or by your own hand, you’d see the outside world again. It was all just a matter of waiting around, and the boredom was going to kill you.

“Hey.” You looked up to see a woman standing before you. “There’s a guy over there who wants to talk to you.”

“Tell him to fuck off.”

“I’m not playing fucking messenger.” She snapped. “Blond guy. Nice teeth. Wouldn’t stop bugging me about you until I finally promised I would come over and tell you.”

Your brows knitted together. “Did he say what he wanted?”

“Again, do I look like a fucking messenger pigeon?” She shook her head and stomped away, leaving you to sit up straighter and look towards the fence across from you.

What you saw made you jump to your feet.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!” Dick said, clinging to the chain link as you approached.

“Didn’t know you ended up in here, Dick.” You said.

“Didn’t know you did, either.” He retorted. “What’re you in for?”

“Same thing as you, probably.” You sighed and plopped down. “Battery. Assault. Everything they could get to stick.”

He mirrored you, hunching over as if he could lean closer through the fence somehow. “Lemme guess. My favorite ex was a key witness.”

“Bingo.” You propped your chin up on your hand as you leaned on your knee. “She lost it after you dumped her. Had me keeping an eye on you and everything.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You stalked me?”

“That sounds a lot worse than it is—“

“Nah, nah. I’m not mad, I’m impressed.” He grinned. “I didn’t notice you at all. You’re good as shit.”

You mimicked his grin. “Yeah, well...still ended up in here.”

He shrugged. “With someone like that out to get you, it doesn’t matter how good you are. We didn’t stand a chance.”

Your heart jumped a little at the way he said we, and all at once, your stupid crush was coming back. It didn’t help that this was the most you’d gotten to talk to him in...well, ever, maybe. It was starting to make you shy, and it was taking all your effort not to blush and avoid his eyes.

“So, how’s life on the inside been?” He asked. “Meet anybody fun yet?”

“There’s a girl who says she controls rats. She’s pretty cool.” You pulled your knees up to your chest. “Is it true there’s a shark guy?”

“King Shark? Surprised you haven’t heard of him.” Dick laughed. “There’s tons of famous people stuck in here, from all over. Only a matter of time before somebody’s boss or goons come bustin’ us all out.”

“I sure hope so.” You mumbled. “I already hate it here.”

“Tell me about it.” He agreed. “Place fuckin’ sucks.”

“Ever thought about running?”

“All the fuckin’ time.” He rolled his eyes. “If I had my suit and the rest of my shit, maybe.”

“What difference does that make?” You asked.

“You ever see how badass my combat suit is? C’mon.”

“What’s it even do?”

He leaned back on his elbows, that cute, cocky grin on his face. “Uh, everything?”

It was your turn to roll your eyes now. “Such as?”

“Look, babe, I’m already pretty fuckin’ strong, but it enhances it. Plus, y’know...I got my cooler shit? I can make my super badass shield and mace? Outta energy?”

When you didn’t look impressed, he tossed his hands in the air. “C’mon, it’s dope as fuck!”

You let out a little laugh. “Yeah, I’ll admit that’s pretty cool.”

He gave you that lopsided grin, and you felt yourself falling head over heels for a guy named fucking Dick Hertz.

-0-

After that day, you met as often as you could at the fence. Dick was a pretty funny guy, and as you chatted about your hobbies, your favorite music, and the cartoons you both liked to watch while high, you started to realize that he was making Belle Reve a lot less miserable than it was intended to be. He was an idiot--he liked to rush headfirst into things without any hesitation--but he was starting to feel like your idiot, and even if you only ever stayed friends, at least you’d have him around. 

You were pretty sure that’s all you’d ever be. He hit on you every day, but he did that with everybody, right? That’s just how he was. Dick calling you babe and sweetcheeks didn’t mean anything. It was like a...like a casual thing, and that was probably it. 

That didn’t stop you from constantly replaying conversations over and over in your head, though. While you laid in your uncomfortable bed every night, listening to the woman down the hall who snored louder than humanly possible, you always thought about Dick. You wondered if he would even be talking to you under normal circumstances, or if he was just bored with prison life. You wondered if, assuming you both eventually got out, you would get to stay in touch and continue your friendship back in Metropolis.

You wondered if he stayed awake thinking about you, too.

Dick never told you that he did, because he figured he didn’t need to tell you. He assumed you were just as into him as he was into you, and finally, one day, with the sun beating down on you, he mentioned it.

“I feel like nobody likes me.” You huffed, plopping your chin down on your hand as you sat all hunched up on your side of the fence.

“Why’s that?” Dick asked as he sat in front of you.

“Well...everybody’s got their groups. Or they’re dating somebody. No one even bothers to try to hang out with me, except the rat girl. And she’s nice, and so is Sebastian—“

“Who the fuck is Sebastian?”

“—her rat. He’s really cute. But like...you’re really the only person I’ve got in here.”

“Yeah, I mean,” he said, mouth full as he took a bite of an apple he won off of somebody, “they’re probably not bothering to hit you up because you’re with me.”

You stiffened, your heart racing, but you had to keep it chill. You had to play it cool. He was staring right at you, and you couldn’t afford to embarrass yourself now. “Yeah, that’s what I said. You’re my only actual friend in here.”

Dick let out a loud laugh. “Yeah, right. Okay. Friend.”

You furrowed your brow. Had you somehow totally misread him?

“Isn’t that what we are?” You asked. “Like...we hang out all the time because we know each other, and we’re stuck in a high security prison?”

“We hang out here because it’s totally against the rules for me to sneak into your cell at night.” He smirked.

You felt like your heart had dropped into your ass.

“Are you—do you mean—“

“What? I’m not gonna be shy about it, I wanna fuck your brains out.”

You blinked at him, mouth slightly agape. “I just thought...”

“You’re my ex’s best friend, so what? Fuck, I wanted to fuck you so bad back then...” he sighed. “Wish I did.”

“Wait. Back up.” You shook your head in disbelief. “You like me? Like, seriously.”

“Uh, yeah?” He scoffed. “Aren’t we like, a thing?”

He was looking at you like it was obvious. There he went again with the whole dumb puppy dog thing.

“Yeah,” you grinned. “Yeah, okay. I guess we are.”

“You seriously thought we weren’t?” He laughed, biting the apple. “I thought you just didn’t wanna say it. Or didn’t wanna kiss in front of the guards. Or something.”

“Dick, I’m not that shy,” you laughed.

“Then do it.”

“...what?”

He leaned towards you with a wolfish grin, his nose brushing the fence. “It’s not electrified. You can do it.”

You glanced around. There were a few guards posted around the yard, but they looked bored, and they weren’t particularly paying any attention. Inmates from either side of the prison definitely weren’t supposed to fraternize, but seriously...how could you pass up a chance like that?

Your hand gripped the wire as you leaned forward, your lips meeting his as you mashed your face against the fence. He tasted like apples and the cigarette he bought off one of the guys in his cell block that morning, which you expected, but he caught you off guard with his gentleness. It only lasted a second, lest somebody notice you swapping spit, but it was the best kiss of your life.

When you pulled back, your eyes were glued to his lips. You wanted more, so much more, and you were determined to get it.

“Tonight, at maybe...three am?” You thought out loud, “there’s a guard rotation. You should go take a shower right around then.”

“Oh yeah?” He was grinning wildly, “showers are usually empty right around then, but there’s a lotta doors for you to get through if you wanna join me.”

“Don’t worry about that.” You said. “I’m a pro.”

[hxlyhoax]

Evil In The Night

Blackguard x F!Reader

[Reader’s Codename: Vertigo

Reader’s Power: Chronokinesis

-Psychically manipulate the flow of time-]

Warning: Slight TSS Spoilers, Language

Requested on Wattpad

-Hey can I have one with Blackguard X female Reader their Best Friends and then eventually boyfriend and girlfriend female reader save him from dying in the beginning.-

━━━━━ © hxlyhoax 2021 do not steal, post on third party sites or translate my work. I do not own the rights to The Suicide Squad or any of the canon characters mentioned.

It had been that time of the year. The time of year where Amanda Waller came around picking out some “worst of the worst” criminals to go on a mission to save the government's ass.

You have done some missions. Usually getting teamed up with the original three members Harley, Boomerang and Colonel Rick Flag.

Harley had taken a liking to you right away. She never lets you out of her sight. Protects you at all costs. It was nice to have someone care for you like that.

You hadn’t felt like anyone cared for you in a long time. Being here for the past three years. There was hope someone on the outside still cared for you but it was probably a very slim chance.

You sat on your sorry excuse of a bed looking at the plain white walls thinking over your life and what you would do if you ever got out of Belle Reve when the door opened.

You looked over and tilted your head seeing Colonel Rick Flag then sighed knowing Amanda probably sent him to you after you ignored her advances.

“Don’t you want to get out of here” He spoke, closing the door behind him giving the both of you some privacy “See your family and friends again?” He asked , which made you look at him “My family’s dead, Flag. Nice try though” He sighed softly looking at you “I’m sure there is someone you would like to see again”

You nodded “There is, but I'm pretty sure he’s also in this shit plant so it doesn’t really matter” He nodded “I could see if he can come on the mission” you raised your eyebrow at him “you’d do that?” he nodded smiling softly “I mean you’re quiet for the most part and don’t disturb the peace. So I don’t see why Amanda wouldn’t let you have this one thing” you chucked “because she hates me” he nodded “She hates everyone”

You chuckled looking down “And besides the team wouldn’t be the same without you. And I don’t really want to hear Harley complaining about why you’re not there again” you laughed softly “So?” he questioned looking at you “Okay” you sighed standing up walking over to him “Oh, who’s your friend?” he said looking at you “I couldn’t ask you to do that, Flag” he wrapped an arm around you opening the door walking out “I’m offering” You looked up at him ”Richard Hertz” you smiled softly while he nodded “Well, good news, I don’t have to ask he’s already apart of the mission”

“Oh?” you questioned looking at him then forward to Amanda Waller who was giving you a death glare “So nice for you to finally join us, Vertigo” you shrugged at her “I can always go back inside” you began to turn around which made rick chuckle and amanda take ahold of your arm “let’s go we’re on borrowed time” you gave her a look “that sounds like a you problem” she just gave you a dirty look before dragging you to where all your gear was.

You sighed looking through what you were going to wear when you heard a scream which made you jump and look behind you “Peanut” Harley smiled running over to you hugging you tightly. You smiled hugging her back “I missed you, so much” she pouted before moving away looking at you.

You looked back at her smiling “I missed you too, Harls” she smiled at you before turning to her box and getting her clothes out and disappearing into one of the stalls. You did the same, sighing softly, not ready for what was to come.

You walked out of the stall a few minutes later as Harley was picking up one of her bags. “What do you have there?” You asked, she just looked at you with a smirk before taking your hand and dragging you to the helicopter “Boomer’s going to be so happy to see you, He’s also missed you. We all have.” You nodded “I’ve missed you guys too.”

She smiled at you one last time before stepping into the helicopter while you just stood there for a moment “Hey guys, sorry i’m late. Had to go number 2” she spoke which made you shake your head “Good to know” Flag spoke rather disgusted then looked over seeing you and smiled softly “There she is” you gave him a look before fully stepping in “Here I am” you rolled your eyes and looked around “Well, if it isn’t the infamous Vertigo” Boomer spoke smiling “How ya been” you just nodded “Good, Good” you said sitting in between him and some long platinum blonde hair dude.

You buckled up then sighed looking around “So who are you people?” You asked before anyone could speak up Rick spoke for them “This is Savant” he said pointing to a miserable looking man “Next to him is Weasel… You know Hertz” you just nodded “Unfortunately” you said with a teasing smile “That’s T.D.K, that’s Javelin and that’s Mongal” you nodded “Nice to meet you all”

Time had seemed to pass pretty slowly. You weren’t paying attention to anyone or anything. You were in your own little world until you finally heard Boomerang speak up “We’re in a butcher’s freezer, Harls, surrounded by dead hogs hangin’ on hooks. Only they don’t know it yet.” You looked over at him with a raised eyebrow while Harley let out a snort “Leave him alone, Boomer”

You shook your head before laying it down on boomers shoulder who smiled softly down at you rubbing your back. It was nice for a few minutes until he moved which resulted in you giving him a dirty look.

Then your head snapped to the Weasel that was in front of you. He was gagging which made you move your legs up onto the seat. You weren’t taking any chances.

“Yo, is this a dog?” Hertz asked which made you give him a look. “What?” you asked dumbfounded “Is this thing a dog?” he asked again with a serious look.

You were speechless. “A dog?” you asked looking at him “Yes” he said giving you a confused look “What kind of dog do you think it is, mate?” Boomerang asked, looking at him, “I don’t know, I'm not familiar with all the breeds” he said furrowing his brows.

“I’m gonna go with Afghan Hound.” T.D.K spoke which made you shake your head “Since when does Afghan Hounds have bloody thumbs” Boomerang asked while you just shook your head “I knew I should of just stayed in my cell, this shit isn’t worth it” you spoke quietly

“Oh, my God, is it a werewolf? I’ve wanted to meet a werewolf forever.” Harley spoke which caused Richard to freak out “Yo, they sat me next to a werewolf?” you shook your head “Yo, let me out. I do not fuck with werewolves.” Richard panicked trying to unbuckle himself.

You stared at him blankly while Rick stepped forward “Hey, hey, he’s not a werewolf, okay! He’s a weasel. He’s harmless. I mean, he’s not harmless, he’s killed 27 children” your mouth dropped “27?” you let out with a small squeak which made Rick nod “27”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve swallowed 27 children” Boomerang spoke up which made everyone’s attention go to him “Amateur” both you and Harley spoke before looking at each other and giggling softly while Rick just shook his head “anyway… I'm pretty sure we got him to agree to this… whatever the case, everyone get into position to drop.”

You started to get ready when you felt a pair of arms wrap around you from behind which made you look and smile “hi” hertz spoke quietly you turned around hugging him back “hi dick” you kissed his cheek which made him smile before you walked over to the ledge seeing weasel drowning making you look up at rick “Aren’t Weasels suppose to be able to swim?” he just gave you an annoyed look before pointing for you to go “I can’t swim” you said looking at him holding back a laugh which made him roll his eyes “yes she can, she was a competitive swimmer growing up” Richard spoke up before being pushed over the ledge by you “Can you please just go” you sighed and nodded “fine”before saluting him “adios colonel” and jumping off the ledge.

He shook his head before following you. You had made it to shore. Sitting with Boomer and Blackguard while everyone else was getting into place. Then, Richard begin to stand up “what the fuck are you doing?” you asked “Hey guys… Hey” he shouted

“There’s fucking soldiers everywhere” Boomerang whisper shouted at him “You can come out now, it’s just me…. I’m the one who contacted you.” Richard shouted again which made your mouth drop “You mother fucker” You started to stand up but Boomer held onto you shaking his head “Look, look. I brought everybody, look. They’re right behind me. Whoa. Hey. Hey, guys. Whoa. We got a deal, right? Uh… Uh…”

Before anything major could happen you slowed down time and stood up walking over to Richard turning the bullet that could have struck him in the face and pulled him back into position before resuming time giving him a death glare. “You’re a god damn fucking idiot” you spoke with venom in your voice before getting back into position. Shooting when you needed to save your ass or one of your friends.

From the corner of your eye you saw Richard start to move but you gave him a look. He stayed still after that. Not wanting to anger you more than you already were.

After about a good hour or two. The only ones on your team left standing were Harley, Rick, Richard, Boomer and Javelin. You had a small victory.

You looked over at Richard who had a guilty look “I’m sorry” he spoke on the verge of crying “If I knew you were going to be here, I would have never made that bet. And it was too late to back out of it” You looked at him “So if I wasn’t even here my best friends would have probably been dead. Including you” you spoke

Harley was about to interrupt but Rick shook his head knowing you two needed this moment. “You could have died, Richard. And the worst of that is I wouldn’t have even got closure. I love you but you’re a goddamn idiot”

He smiled softly hearing the “I love you” but soon frowned after actually looking over the beach seeing all the bodies of his fallen teammates and the Corto Maltese Soldiers then over at what’s left of the team “I really at sorry” he spoke quietly

They all nodded, not really forgiving him. You sighed “Let’s get going. We got a long day ahead of us” you spoke quietly beginning to walk with Harley who wrapped her arm around you “It’s going to be okay. Sweets. The important ones are still alive” You looked at her and nodded “Yeah, the important ones are still alive.”

[kimhargreeves]

Trust-Blackguard x Reader

Summary: After a trying a few problems with the law you're thrown into Belle Reve. There you meet a guy your age who calls himself Blackguard. (I'm not familiar or a big fan of Pete Davidson but someone requested him do I happily wrote this for them.)

"Get your ass in that cell!" The guards kept a good hold on me as I continue to trash around and try to escape from them

"Let go of me!" I shouted and I successfully did hit one of the guards in the head and the other on his crotch.

I laughed and began to run towards the exit. "Try and catch me now motherfu-" I was tackled to the ground and had my face shoved on the floor.

I glanced up and saw a strong guy looking at me weirdly. "I just cleaned that side of the floor. Fuck." The man tired threw a dirty rag on the floor and got up.

He stared at me when the guards pulled me back up. "Whoa what's a girl doing here?" Another voice said next to us.

The guy had bleached blonde hair and seemed to be my age. He had a matching uniform as I did, well all of us. "Don't get too excited, Hertz. This one is dangerous."

I rolled my eyes and so did the dark guy next to us. The younger guy scoffed, "No shit? Aren't we all. What'd she do?"

"She stole from Bruce Wayne and almost killed his butler."

"Wow. You should never mess with someone's butler." The guy laughed at my face.

Right when I was about to make a comment the guards pulled me over to where the female criminals are and put me on a cell with another young woman who was fast asleep with a rat laying on her chest.

********

It was the next day and we were all outside for some fresh air. The males and females were divided of course, I was sitting down by the fence and began checking around. To plan my escape again. "I've escaped a lot of prisons this is nothing." I mumbled to myself.

"You can't get out." I nearly jumped when a voice sounded from behind me.

I looked back and forth surprised to see this guy had made it to this side of the fence. "I mean you can easily jump these fences but ya can't escape this prison. I've tried countless of times." He lifted his shirt up a bit. It was full of tattoos and dark bruises.

"Better start planning you life here sweetheart. We'll be here for a while. Well, mostly you cause you just came in."

"Who the fuck are you?" I frowned at this man when he began joking around.

"Richard but you must know me as Blackguard." He smirked and winked.

I raise and eyebrow and shook my head. "Never heard of you."

"Ha! That's sad." We looked at another voice from a man on the other side. He had long blonde hair and another man who began to laugh at Richards expression, since I had no idea who he was.

"Finally decided to stay quiet, mate?"

Richard ignored the two guys talking to him and focused his tired eyes back on me. "Want me to tell ya a secret?" He made a motion with his hand for me to get closer to him.

"If you try to kiss me I'll punch you really hard." I warn him in case he tries to do something.

"Ouch, I like girls who fight back. But, no.." instead he got closer to me and told me his secret. "I have eyes and ears everywhere, rumor has it that some of us will be chosen for a special mission."

I cross my arms and stared at him dumbfounded. "I don't believe you. Why would someone hire criminals for a mission?"

"Geez where have you been for these last years? Didn't you hear they did something similar a while back?"

"I sorta heard some-"

"Well that's it! I'm sure they'll choose me, they have to. I've heard that you're a real fighter like me, maybe we'll be on the same team. You wanna get our right?"

I stared at him up and down. "Undressing me with your eyes are you."

"Don't be stupid. I don't trust you, I just got to know you."

Richard rolled his eyes and pouted. "Alright alright! How about we get to know each other?! You come meet me everyday so we can trust each other. Deal?"

He raised his hand up for a handshake. I hummed and slowly shook his hand and hid the other one in my pocket and crossed my fingers together.

"It's a deal then." He smirked, but I couldn't help but see his other hand was missing too.

"Hertz! Get your ass back on your side of the fence!" A guard shouted when he saw a guy on our side of the prison.

*********

"So you fought The Batman?"

"Yeah, and a couple of other heroes. I owed people done money and wanted to support my family. So, I became a Robin Hood of sorts to some people."

"You mean Catwoman?"

I raised my head up and glared at Richard. "She's hot and all, I'm just saying you have similar roles."

Richard and I were sitting on the ground playing mindlessly a game of cards while we got to know each other. "You mentioned you stole weapons from someone powerful, was it Maroni?"

"The Joker and Sionis" I felt not paying much mind to him.

"Oohh now that's interesting! Guess you felt relieved when you heard Sionis got murdered." I hum in agreement and drew another card and placed it down.

"Actually I was there and helped him get killed. That's why people shouldn't judge my skills or try to betray me."

We made eye contact and he faked being surprised and placed his hand over his chest. "I would never!"

"Do you even take things seriously?" I ask beginning to get annoyed by his childish behavior.

"Hmm sometimes I do. Stop being such a buzzkill. Look, I won." He smiled and showed me his cards. "Guess I deserve a prize." He clapped his hands together making me stare at him again.

"We don't have money..."

"You can sneak some food out here." He shrugged his shoulders but slowly a smile made an appearance on his face again. "Or maybe a kiss-"

"No. Fucking. Way." I slowly told him and smirked back. "You want it? Ya gotta it earn it." I frowned. A kiss isn't a big deal to me but this guy, I can't help but feel like something is wrong, like he's hiding something.

He smiled and stared at me back. "You're still having second thoughts, (Y/N). I'll make you trust me you'll see."

I boredly rested my head on my palm and hummed. "Sure, I will Richard." I sarcastically told him him and saw another smirk on his lips.

[goddessofmischief]

Rick flag x reader/punchline where the team are walking through the forest and she splits up a little bit from the rest of the team because she gets distracted by something pretty or cute and falls into a river but she's never learnt how to swim, including blackguard in a way aswell please?💕💕

River - Rick Flag x Reader

A/N: I added some hints in this fic as to what might be up next for the series, let me know if you spot any! I set this in my Rick Flag series, which you can read here. All my fics in the series are one-shots, but feel free to read the whole series for maximum enjoyment. Requests are open!

...

It’s a nice day out.

You and Rick, plus Blackguard and Harley (your favorite group) were patrolling what looked like a fairytale forest, though you were all too aware of the dangers within. Harley was having the time of her life, skipping through the moss, and even Rick seemed less dour than usual.

...In the background, though, a sparkling river began to catch your eye - and you hummed, glancing around at the group.

“I’m... gonna check something out.”

“Want me to come with you?” asked Blackguard, and you shook your head, trying not to grin.

“I’m flying this one solo, Hertz.”

He looped his fingers through yours, and you held on, just for a moment, until you noticed Rick eyeing you.

You cleared your throat, starting off for the river. You didn’t really need to check anything out. This time, your mission was a selfish one.

...To tell the truth, it'd been a long, long time since you'd glimpsed your reflection.

At the ballet academy you'd grown up in, it had been all about reflections - how you looked, how much you weighed. Things were so different now.

Still, it was a comfort to see that you had not changed, even if everything else did - you still looked the same.

Looking too closely, though-

You tumbled in.

I can’t swim, you thought desperately, I can’t swim, I can’t swim-

You tried to scream, but all that came up were little bubbles.

You were going to die, you thought, in the dumbest way possible.

...

"...Hey, has anyone seen Y/N?” Rick asked.

Blackguard shrugged, confusion knitting his eyebrows together.

“She was with us when we landed, for sure-”

“She went to check something out,” Rick finished, the pieces falling into place. “Hertz, when did we last see her?”

“By the river, I think-”

Both men glanced at each other in mutual panic.

“You don’t think-” Rick started, grimly.

“No, man, she can swim-”

“She can what?” Harley asked, springing up behind them.

“Punch can swim, right?”

"No, she can’t!” exclaimed Harley. “Neither of us can- almost died that way, I swear-”

Instantly, Rick began sprinting in the direction he’d last seen you, Hertz struggling to catch up to him.

“Look, I’m sure she’s not-”

“What if she is?”

Rick arrived at the river, eyes searching for you - nothing. Just a quiet river...

And your body at the bottom of it.

Without hesitation, Rick dove to the bottom of the river, lifting your body up and carrying you to the banks. Blackguard watched, horrified.

“No... come on, no...”

“Be alive,” Rick chanted, beginning to do CPR on you. “Come on, don’t die on me, come on, come on-”

Miraculously, you wake - and Rick cries. He’s not ashamed. He cries, and Blackguard slumps beside him, and they’re both too emotional to care about anything else.

“You’re not dead,” says Rick, speaking the obvious truth. “...Why aren’t you dead?”

You and Blackguard look at him in confusion, and he shrugs.

“I’m sorry, does anyone else find it a little weird that you’re just... fine? How long were you underwater?”

“I don't know, Rick... seven minutes, maybe?”

“That’s pretty weird.”

You sigh, and Rick realizes he’s ruined the moment, as well as any chance he had with you.

“Sorry,” he said, awkwardly. “Well, uh... let’s go back.”

...

Rick Flag Taglist (Open)

@blondiekook @giggles75th @woodlandmouth @xoxabs88xox @yinrose98 

[himbovillain-anon]

The fact that I've only written like two things for this guy is kinda unnerving tbh

Flirting w/ Blackguard on the job

How the squad made it past the beaches was something you would never understand, after all, no one had a plan, the weasel thing was already down and the team had been compromised due to some shady business

You weren’t exactly one to talk in the group, but you were admittedly curious about one team member in particular

No one has really talked to blackguard since he sold out the group, which is fair since it could’ve gotten a lot of people killed, but it was kinda tempting to ask how the hell he pulled off such a stunt

Knowing that there was a long walk ahead of you, waited a for a moment as he caught up with the group so you could ask how he did it

His first response wasn't quite what you were expecting, as he joked about how you obviously wanted to get to know him

You rolled your eyes, of course the damn bastard would think that you're trying to be a flirt, but there was no chance of winning an argument with an idiot, so you decided to move forward with the rest of the group

He picked up his pace so he could be walking next to you again, and as soon as he did he stated that he didn't mind the banter, especially with someone as easy on the eyes as you were

That second comment surprised you a bit, but the cocky attitude he had going for him was somewhat amusing, so you decided to go along with the conversation

The two of you chatted about certain things, the mission, how you ended up here, what's going to happen next, all that good stuff, but it was all seemingly irrelevant since all of the flirty banter had largely outweighed any actual serious conversation

It was all fun and games until you stopped near a campsite, and that's where all the teasing from the other teammates came in

You shrugged, for all it's worth, maybe it wasn't a bad idea to sneak away from the camp for some alone time, but that wasn't exactly priority number one

Everyone was just getting ready for bed when blackguard walked over to your spot, finally asking whether or not you'd like to go on a date when this was all over

Considering this was a suicide mission, you joked that he'd have to make it out alive first, he laughed and promised that he would, before going back to to where he was going to crash for the night

[alecyoualot]

Alexandria Roman (a.k.a. Dark Angel) is unlucky to have caught a so-called lethal hitman scarfing through her cookie jar in the dark after waking to get some water. And she is just as lucky, for many reasons to be discovered, that this said hitman is none other than Richard Hertz (a.k.a. Blackguard).

Chapter 2 is up ! A bunch more things happen here in comparison to the first. Enjoy bbys <3

[babblydrabbly]

you don't have to be more | digger harkness x reader

Digger Harkness x F!Reader Characters: Digger Harkness, Harley Quinn, Rick Flag, Floyd Lawton, Richard Hertz. Warnings: FLUFF. Hurt/comfort if you squint. Language. Canon-Typical Violence. Cuddling. Kissing. Some grinding ngl. Wordcount: 6.5k+ [ A/N: For this request. Oh god, you probably wanted more fluff than this. I truly don't know what came over me. Thank you to @a-reader-and-a-writer for betaing ♥️ ily Also, trying out new headers! Since poor Digger doesn't have too many gifs. But I'm still including text titles at the top so anyone who uses text to voice can know wtf is happening. ] My Masterlist

Anonymous Asked: Please can I request some pining boomer, I need this tough ass to go absurdly soft at reader and have the others roast him for it.

You've spent more than half your life as a vigilante named Night Shade. After a frame job lands you in Belle Reve, you get put on the Suicide Squad almost immediately. Digger Harkness is his usual self around you— and you don't really mind. You never have.

At first, he doesn’t recognize you.

You stand with your arms folded over your chest, your back to the wall of the tent as Colonel Flag goes over the mission objective laid out on a large table. They’d given you your full suit back, but here, at Belle Reve, you’ve held off on putting your armor and mask on until they ship you out.

Digger had tuned out the Colonel’s introductions for the new recruits. He didn’t bother with figuring out who was who anymore. Plenty came and went. It seemed like he, Harley, and just a few others were ever lucky enough to survive mission after mission.

But he does notice your perpetual scowl; how your lips draw down into a tight, pouty little frown, and Digger just can’t resist.

He joins you as everyone exits the airfield tent, wind picking up as the helicrafts start up their engines.

“First go, eh?” He hollers over the whirling blades. You glance over at him.

“What?” You say back.

“Said I never seen you before. Shame.” He flashes you a cocky grin. “If we weren’t about to die, I’d love to have you for a drink.”

You arch a brow at him. Search his face for the hint of a joke. You give him the old once over as the two of you wait your turn to board the carrier. The criminal’s not perturbed when you say nothing and leave him there on the helipad, high and dry. Blackguard comes up to pat Digger on the back with sympathy as he passes, boarding after you.

“Tough, man.”

Your armor is waiting for you on your seat. The other spots are also place marked with various weapons and garb for the others. You hook your chest plate and arm guards on as the others get settled in. And of course Harkness’s spot happens to be across from yours.

His toothy smile returns. You almost have enough time to finish rolling your eyes before you receive a heavy duffel bag to the lap.

“Oof, sorry, doll!” Harley Quinn yells. She yanks the bag off of you and kicks it under the seat, plopping down beside you. When she offers a handshake, she snatches yours up before you can even lift it high.

“What’d they call you? Night Stalker or somethin’?”

You chuckle, “Something like that.”

Harley takes up your attention most of the trip, and it seems to set a rapport with the rest of the squad— if you were in with her, you were in. Even Colonel Flag seemed to glance at you with more recognition as you all lined up for the drop somewhere over the Pacific ocean.

You step to the edge of the door with your mask in hand, eyeing the water down below. A flood of thoughts crest and crash around in your skull, just like the waves beneath you— how you wished you weren’t here. How this wasn’t the time to feel sorry. You’d only been at Belle Reve a few short weeks, and they had plucked you out of your cell in the dead of night with an agenda ready and waiting for you. Waller liked your skillset. There was plenty she had planned for you— if you survived, of course.

From the corner of your vision, you see that your drop buddy is eyeing you up again. Digger saddles up to you with a nod.

“You ready for a shit show, lovely?” He grins.

You smirk at that. You reach up and finally sheath your face with your mask— A white, blank face, with two narrow slits for eyes.

Digger blinks, his grin wiped clean from his features. He looks over your mask, stunned, and the rare moment of silence has you smiling under your Kevlar face. You watch with amusement as it all clicks into place for him.

“Shade?”

“Ready for drop in three!” Flag hollers from the back of the craft.

“Wait—“ Digger reaches for you. “Hey!”

You kick off the platform smugly, plunging into the frigid water without any hesitation. Digger curses as he jumps in after you before he misses the drop zone.

—

“When were you gonna tell me?” He hisses later. You and the others shush him as you sneak your way through the foliage, using the jungle trees as cover. Digger sticks close to you as you clear a path, even though he’s supposed to be paired up with Hertz off to your left.

“You didn’t ask.”

“How the fuck was I supposed to know!”

“Shut it, Harkness.” Flag snaps over the comms.

“They caught you. How’d they get you?” He inquires, ignoring everyone. His laxed attitude back on the craft has disappeared, and the more gruff Digger you’re acquainted with refuses to let it go. Before you can answer, you hear the sound of something approaching rapidly. Throwing your arms around the Aussie’s middle, you tackle him to the ground just as a grenade launcher whizzes past, lighting up the greenery around you— and the entire squad’s location.

The mission is hellfire from then on. Digger doesn’t have time to prod you with any more questions, but that doesn’t stop him from gluing himself to your side as the two of you work together. You snatch up one of his boomerangs and fling it into the darkness, ducking to let him catch it as it flies back. By the time the sun rises, the lair you’ve been tasked with infiltrating is a crumbling mess, and you never thought you’d be this relieved to be taken back to prison.

—

Back at Belle Reve, you’re surprised there’s privileges to being a cooperating member of the squad. You throw your tray down onto the metallic table after the latest mission briefing, the rest of the mess hall cleared from lunch a few hours previous. You hunker down beside Harley who chatters away with Lawton on her other side. You’re content to eat in silence for a while, which doesn’t last long.

Digger hikes a leg over the bench to straddle it as he faces you, sliding his own tray til it’s flush with yours. He’s got on a serious face; you kind of wished he was still in a flirty mood. Ever since you got back, you’d been trying to avoid the conversation you know is coming.

“You shouldn’t be here.” He begins. He rests his elbow on the table, crowding your space with his thighs bracketing you, but you refuse to move away. You roll your eyes.

“I don’t think anyone wants to be here, Harkness.”

“No yea, but you’re not one of us.” He mutters, “You’re supposed to be out there throwin’ assholes like us into prison. What happened to you?”

You pretend your sloppy joe is somewhat edible, chasing it down with a sip from a carton of orange juice. “I was still breaking laws. Vigilante justice isn’t exactly without it’s own crimes.”

He huffs at that.

—

You were proud of the number of people you’d brought to justice. You had put half your life into training and becoming strong enough to protect yourself in such a dark, difficult world. You knew the risks. Still, it blindsided you the way your choice to take matters into your own hands finally caught up to you.

You were in Australia, tracking down a real piece of shit target fleeing the States when your search led you to Boomerang. You’d been prowling the offices above a diamond exchange; their laundering records would uncover your target’s real identity. And in the process, you crossed paths with Digger Harkness.

He stilled when he sensed your presence. The rest of his crew didn’t notice you in the darkness. You flickered on your high-powered flashlight meant to blind anyone nearby, but at their distance, it simply made a cover for hiding you.

“What the hell are you doing?” You asked from under your mask curiously. You were new to Australia, but you didn’t expect to see the pair of actual boomerangs strapped to the man’s chest.

Digger tutted, shielding his eyes. He tried to get a good look at you to no avail.

“Keep working boys, I’ve got the little lady.” He murmured.

You’d fought up and down the corridor, until you had your leg wrapped around his neck and his wrist pinned down to the floor, still holding his weapon. He was an odd mix— a long range weapon paired with belligerent fist-fighting? If the genius just had let you get a word in edgewise, the two of you wouldn’t have had to waste your time.

“I’m not here to stop a bunch of thieves.” You snapped. You couldn’t care less about a generously insured jewel exchange losing it’s diamonds. It took all your bodyweight on his chest to keep the broad, muscular man pinned. You were impressed. You didn’t expect so much strength under the gaudy tracksuit top and trench coat.

He stopped struggling and arched a brow at you instead, “You’re not?”

When he relaxed, you shoved off of him. “No. And I won’t rat if you don’t.”

That made the thief brighten. It’s a complete shift from the man who just tried to slice you to ribbons. “Well then,” He leered. “You don’t sound like you’re from ‘round here, lovely. How’s about I show you a good time?”

You rolled your eyes and shoved him against the wall as you passed. “No thanks.”

But your mission had you crossing paths with him again. And again.

Everywhere there was anything worth stealing, there he seemed to be. You nearly had your target under your thumb one night— if you caught him here, right now, in this bank as he made an exchange with the higher-ups running it, you’d have proof of the embezzlement that had been affecting thousands of people there and back home.

You loved the part about being right, but not the part about how the situation going much higher up on the ladder meant you were a little outmatched tonight.

You grunted as another large man twice your size picked you up by the throat and slammed you into a wall of safety deposit boxes. The security guards doubled as henchmen, apparently, already in your target’s pocket. You landed on your feet and evaded another lunge, but when you stood up to take the man out, he was already falling over, unconscious.

You put your hands on your hips. “Is there anywhere you aren’t robbing?” You whisper-hissed at Harkness.

He shrugged, all smiles. “You’re welcome, sweetness.”

“Shut up.” You busied yourself with the guard’s keychain, smothering the quirk of your lips.

Harkness approached you, eyeing the keys. “Go on, share now.”

He couldn’t see you roll your eyes, but you handed him the rest when you took the ones you needed.

“How’s the investigation goin’?”

“Please.” You scoffed. “Go on, play burglar.”

You made to walk away when you felt a finger catch on one of your belt loops. Harkness drew you back, boxing you in against the bank of deposit doors, but this time you’re pressed against them with a soft thud. Harkness planted himself in front of you, his large hands coming to rest on your hips.

“You know, I’m wonderin’,” He murmured beside your head, lips near to your ear. “Been really convenient, you showin’ up to all my heists. If you wanted to spend your nights with me so badly, invitation’s still open, love.”

The last thing you’d ever do while out on your mission is get distracted like this. But you’d be lying to yourself if there wasn’t something about the reckless, idiotic thief that made you want to linger. He was cocky, but once in a while he did get you to laugh.

You pressed a gloved hand to his chest and slid it up tentatively, over the large expanse of firm muscle until it came to settle around his neck. Even through the fabric, you could feel the way his Adam’s apple bobbed under your palm. You tilted your head, and your mask with it, enjoying the way Harkness tried to decipher what you were thinking from beneath your blank face.

His face was always so open, his expressions never hidden from you. He leaned forward, and for a moment you thought he might actually try to press a kiss to the painted kevlar, on the spot right where your lips would be. The thought made your pulse thrum, and you tightened your grip around the Aussie’s neck incrementally, drawing a soft groan from his parted lips.

Another, more pained groan sounded from the unconscious guard on the floor, pulling you from your daze. You pushed Harkness away in an instant, your focus returning to the task at hand. Harkness swore under his breath, and threw a glare down at the man.

“Thanks for nothing, mate.” He snapped, giving the henchman a sharp kick to the stomach, before following you out of the room in a hurry.

You were a little sad to part ways with Digger Harkness after you wrapped up your case a few weeks later. After capturing your target and turning him over to the authorities, you don’t miss the way Harkness, too, seems a little disappointed at your leaving. You had danced around his advances, never really accepting or denying. You weren’t used to distractions, and you knew if you waited it out, your work would decide for you.

He did hit on you one last time, and you let yourself laugh— fully and light-heartedly— at the thief. Pulling him into the shadows of the alley where you say your goodbyes, you lifted off your mask in the darkness halfway, just enough to press your lips against Digger’s in a deep kiss. His shock didn’t last long, arms flying up to wrap around your waist as he returned it. You pressed your body into his, a soft sound escaping you as he lifted you up with ease.

“Hope your work brings you back, lovely.” He murmured when you pulled away, still in his arms. You leaned in again, unable to resist stealing one more kiss from the thief.

“Might get bored and come throw you in jail.” You quipped. Digger heard your voice— your full, unfiltered voice for the first time. He put you back down on the ground, wishing he’d heard more of it while you were still here.

“I’ll be seeing you, Shade.” He hoped.

You were proud of what you did, but eventually, it made the wrong people angry. You went home, picked your work up there again soon after. You chased a lead that took you nearly four years of investigation to gather enough evidence for— when you end up in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Police came for you when you weren’t out prowling, in the middle of the day, catching you by surprise.

You were sentenced to Ninety years. Ninety years for witnessing one of the most brutal murders you’d ever seen. You’d been too late to stop it, but when you tried anyway— tried to hope that the victims were still alive by the time you could take out the real murderer— you realized too late that you were outnumbered. The murderer wasn’t just some lone wolf. He’d had connections. And he used them to pin the murders on you. You escaped that night, but when they cuffed you right there, right in the middle of your day job in front of everyone, you knew there was no amount of training or quick thinking to get you out of this one. They knew your real identity, knew everything. He’d finished you with one phone call to the chief of police.

You stayed silent the whole trial, except to plead not guilty. But still you had to sit and watch as the city’s best prosecutors smeared your name and your life’s work in front of the loved ones of the people you had tried to save. The look in their eyes filled you with shame. When the gavel fell and your sentence was announced, you let the numbness spread, let it stay there in your gut all the way to Belle Reve.

You hadn’t killed them yourself, but you didn’t save them either.

—

Digger sits with wide and storming gray eyes as you finally answer his question. It’s the first time you’ve spoken about it since they locked you up, and you avoid his gaze idly. You shove your plastic fork into a small pile of sad looking mashed potatoes, waiting for him to say something.

“That’s bullshit!” He hollers, and you jump, surprised.

When you recover, your eyes fall again. “Yeah, well. Here we are. At least I got to knock off ten years, so far.”

“Yeah, doin’ Waller’s dirty work.” He snorted. “You tried to save those people. Don’t their families fuckin’ know that?”

You should feel comforted by his support— wished you had it when you were going through it alone— but it was too late now. Digger watches your brows knit together. He’s still not used to seeing your actual face. Not used to seeing the way it looks like your eyes are shining like they might brim over with tears as you try your best not to look at the thief.

“Shade…”

“[L/n],” You say, quickly collecting up your tray and standing up. “You can just call me [L/n] from now on.”

Digger stammers out something close to an apology, though what he really wants to do is follow after you as you hurry off. But you have to return to your cell when you’re done, down a corridor they won’t let him follow. He swears, shoving his tray away from himself with a frustrated sigh.

A sad whistle brings him out of his sulk. Digger looks up to see that Floyd and Harley had stopped eating a long time ago, eavesdropping in on your conversation. Both of them offer him cringful expressions.

“That sucked, dude.” Lawton says.

Harley nods sadly. “You really bummed her out, makin’ her explain the whole deal.”

“Didn’t anyone tell you never to ask the quiet ones how they end up in here?”

“Oh, fuck off!” Digger snaps, throwing his tray on the floor. One of the guards immediately moves to mediate before Digger puts up his hands, “Alright, alright. I’m done.” Harley and Floyd burst into laughter as they escort the thief back to his cell, his sour face sending them into even more hysterics on the way out.

—

The next mission would take two weeks, if you were all lucky— and you had a feeling being out in the open that long didn’t sound very lucky.

The squad’s ‘basecamp’ had to keep moving. This recon mission meant you had to pack light, and you shouldered your pack all day, throwing it down in the evenings as members of the squad took turns monitoring a mysterious facility a few clicks away. You hated that you didn’t get to know who was in there or what for— you recorded your findings in the day, and reported to Colonel Flag at dusk, no questions asked.

“Doesn’t seem very deadly.” You mutter. You sit next to Digger on your bedroll, chewing tiredly at your rations.

He snorts as he finishes up his own. “Careful. You’ll jinx us.”

It wasn’t freezing in this climate by any means, but you notice the way Digger hunches his shoulders, looking irritated. He’s got his coat and hat on, but you know him well enough by now that the man was trying to keep from shivering. You smirk a little.

“What is it with you and the cold?” You chuckle. You reach over and tug on the ridiculously wide collar of his trenchcoat. Digger frowns, snatching it back and pulling it over himself snuggly.

“‘S not my fault. Not built for it.” He grumbles.

You set up your bed rolls an appropriate distance away from each other every night, but every morning, it seems as though Digger Harkness is trying to make his way over to you inch by inch. You wake up the next day before him, only to find him sleeping entirely off his mat, in between it and yours. You nudge him awake with your foot carefully, and point out he’d be a lot warmer if he slept off the ground at night.

The night after that, you feel something press between your shoulder blades just as you begin dozing off. Startled, you jerk up, finding Digger off his bed roll again. He snores lightly as his head rests on your mat and you ease your tensed arms. You watch him sleep for a few minutes there in the dark. Eventually, you lie back down, careful not to wake him as you return to your sleeping position, his face nudging the spot between your shoulders again with a sleepy rumble. You don’t move closer to him, but you settle for not pulling away tonight either.

—

During the day, you’re forced to pair up with Harley. It’s a lot of walking, and you’re surprised to find there’s someone in the group who complains more than Digger. Harley Quinn can’t seem to enjoy silence, so you let her fill it up as the two of you traverse the woods.

“So, what’s with you and Boomer?” She finally asks. You’d been waiting for it ever since the day in the mess hall. You grip the straps of your canvas bag awkwardly, wishing you’d kept your mask on instead of leaving it on your hip.

“He talks about his old girls but he don’t ever talk about you.”

“No?” You arch a brow. “Probably because I’m not his old girl.”

“Yeah, well. I figured it either meant that, or...”

“Or?”

When she levels you with a prodding squint, you huff.

“I… met him once. Before Belle Reve.”

“Once?” The crime queen laughed. “Please. You two look like best buds.”

You shrug.

“Or mooore?” She croons, her face getting dangerously close to yours. You scrunch up your nose, willing yourself not to betray anything on your face. God, you wish you had your blank one on.

“Look, I lived in Sydney for a few months. We— crossed paths a lot.”

“I bet you did.” She cackles. She doesn’t seem to mean anything terrible by it besides the obvious, so you let her think what she wants, leaving the topic at that.

—

That night, you grind your teeth as you try to will yourself to sleep. It’s only your second mission, but the week of constantly moving and the threat of someone opening fire at any moment has exhausted you. You keep your arms crossed as you lay on your side, your mind racing with a million anxious thoughts like it always did when you couldn’t sleep— how you wouldn’t be here if you were better, how you were really just a dog now, sleeping out in the cold, waiting for commands. When it was all over, if you lived, they would plop you back in your cell, and you’d still have decades to go.

You’re snapped out of your downward spiral when an arm lands down over your waist. You jump, stopping yourself before you elbow Digger in the face and knock out his teeth. You scowl; maybe you should punch him awake. You’re about to open your mouth to say something when he flexes his arm, dragging you backward across the mat. With a soft yelp, you’re met with Digger’s broad body flush to yours, his bearded face pressing into the nape of your neck.

“Harkness. Digger.” You hiss, poking his arm faintly. Digger mumbles something unintelligible, his arm relaxing again. Still, he’s spooning you in his sleep, without any sign of rolling back over. You sigh.

Shit. It bubbles up in the back of your throat— a sob that you quickly snuff out. You press your lips together pathetically.

The thought of a life sentence in Belle Reve, the thought of the loneliness that came with it— You knew it would be even worse than the loneliness you’d felt even before your sentence. You were like every other vigilante; your secrets had made you keep everyone at arm’s length. Harkness had been the last person you’d ever bothered to let in, however briefly. And here he was, still offering you the affection you never knew how to ask for, even in his sleep.

You carefully lift his arm, settling it back down over your bicep until Digger was hugging you comfortably. You press back against him, drawing a pleased sound out of the slumbering thief. Closing your eyes, you relax, finally letting yourself drift off to sleep too.

—

You’re not plagued by dreams. Instead, you wake up, realizing blearily that you slept through the entire night without stirring. Which was good for your exhaustion, but bad considering the fact that you should be on your toes— what with the suicide mission and all.

You’ve also missed something else, because when you sit up and yawn, you pick up on a joke you’ve just missed.

Harley Quinn is in titters on her bedroll as she hugs her stomach, her laughter bringing her to near tears. Lawton is also doing little to contain himself.

Then you remember Harkness, and how his arm was suddenly very absent. You turn around to look at the thief and come face to face with his beet red expression as he glares over at his friends. He’s already sitting up, flustered, his cap askew on top of his curls.

“I didn’t know koala bears got as big as you, Boomie!” Harley teases in between breaths. “Big ole bear clinging to his tiny little tree.”

“Alright. Alright already!” He snaps. You’re surprised when he gets up, saying nothing as he stalks off into the treeline and away from the rest of you.

You don’t mind Harley’s teasing, but when one of them— the tall lanky one they call Blackguard— tries to ask you if Harkness greeted his little tree with some morning wood, you shoot him a vicious glare, shutting the bleached blond up quickly.

—

Digger drags his heels for the rest of the day. Flag dishes out directives, and Digger rolls his eyes when he hears he’s paired up with Lawton on surveying duty.

His attention is split, halfway between the mission, and you.

Digger had stirred when you shifted his arm last night. He was ready for a jab to the gut, when instead you decided to pull him closer. He opened his eyes faintly, confused, when an odd sound got caught in your throat. He’d heard it before in the mess hall, when you had swallowed thickly and excused yourself from the table.

From his position, he couldn’t see your face. But he’d been memorizing it— every chance he could sneak a look, in the briefing room or out here, where you seemed to not want to wear your usual face anymore. He didn’t mind one bit; he always imagined you with a pretty face he could stare at all day under all that Kevlar. And he was thrilled to find out he was right.

But Digger had a feeling. There was a reason you didn’t want to wear it anymore.

A pang of guilt hit him; he always figured only the people closest to you ever got to see your real face. He’d never been one of those people, as hard as he tried in his own way, back in Sydney. Belle Reve stripping you of your uniform and mask by force didn’t feel like he’d won the right to finally know who you were.

It just felt like another thing he’d stolen.

He listened as you squashed whatever emotion tried to overwhelm you. Digger stayed utterly still as you settled back against his front, your warmth radiating through all the many layers between you. He felt the way his ears flush and heat up against the cold night air, but he didn’t dare break this spell that had come over you by being his usual, overbearing self.

You seemed to drop off to sleep soon after that, and Digger finally let himself press his face to your neck carefully, committing the feeling of you in his arms to memory with a hum.

“—Have you even heard a goddamn word I’ve said, Boomerang?” Colonel Flag scowls. He taps a finger against the butt of a rifle slung across his chest irritably.

“Yeah, yeah. Take a lap around the base and let Lawton do the picture taking. What the fuck else is new.” Digger waves off.

“And rest up early when you get back.” Flag adds, ”I’m putting you and [L/n] on the midnight watch this rotation.”

Digger blinks, “— What? Why?”

“You’re really gonna complain, man?” Lawton drawls as he waits for the two other men to wrap up. Digger smothers his grin as he hurries after the marksman, ignoring the way Flag shouts a few more last minute orders after them.

—

As it turns out, the usual pair who had been taking the midnight watch on this mission had been compromised. Something about an old landmine on the other side of the base and an unfortunate misstep. You were all down two squad members, and now everyone’s duties were being shifted around.

You sigh loudly as you stop in front of Harkness, throwing your pack on the ground beside him. He sits on the sloping forest floor, binoculars in hand, your little stake out area all ready for your late night shift.

“How’s the watch?” You greet, taking a seat beside the Aussie. You snatch up the binoculars from Digger and aim it at the facility.

He mumbles something gruffly.

“Hm?”

“Said I’m tired of this fuckin’ weather!” He gripes.

In reality, Digger’s been nervous of you approaching ever since he set up about an hour earlier. He couldn’t get any of the rest Flag recommended— Not while it was cold, and not when the realization that he’d be spending the entire evening with you alone hit him.

Fuck! He’d looked like a fucking moron clinging to you this morning.

Your soft chuckle draws you from his bitter thoughts. “You want my jacket?”

Digger rolls his eyes, but quirks a smile all the same. “Fuck off.”

“I can see you shivering from here.”

He waves you off. Putting the binoculars’ strap around your neck, you stand and brush the bark and moss from yourself before kicking Digger’s ankle. He gives you a questioning look as you do it again, waiting for him to get the hint.

His confusion soon melts into surprise. His eyebrows shoot up as you turn, taking a seat down snuggly between his knees.

Reaching behind yourself, you tug Digger’s coat open, pulling the large edges around yourself. It takes a little shifting around, but soon the two of you are tucked comfortably inside his jacket, your back pressed squarely to his broad chest.

Digger thinks his lip might split the way he can’t stop grinning. He rests his chin on your shoulder, any hesitancy about touching you totally evaporating. You sigh as he draws around you, his large arms enveloping your entire middle. The two of you fall silent as you let the shared heat generate and warm you both up. You stay like that for an hour, then two, only shifting to stretch a muscle here or there, but always returning to the warmth of Digger’s coat.

“I, er— about this morning.” Digger mumbles after a while. You’d been so content where you were you realize you'd almost nodded off for a moment. You turn your head sleepily, and in doing so are met with his cheek pressed against yours. “They’re assholes.”

You tilt your head, rubbing your cheek against his beard. “They can have their fun.” You muse. It’s true— you didn’t mind Harley or Lawton one bit. You had your own reservations about opening up; but they had nothing to do with it. You rarely cared about what other people thought or assumed. You’re about to propose that the two of you can have your own fun, when the tip of Digger’s nose finds yours by accident, and you burst into laughter at how cold it is. You quickly muffle it, what with the covert operation still going on.

“What?” The Aussie whined. He slips his hand into the coat, snaking his fingers underneath as many layers as he can find. You yelp.

“Fucking freezing.” The shock of his cold palm to your stomach makes you wriggle against him, clamping a hand down over his. “You bastard.”

A grin presses to your neck. “But you’re so toasty. Perfect place to warm my hands up.”

You’ve given him what he wanted, your head falling back onto his shoulder as you tried to squirm away. Digger takes the opportunity to press a kiss to your lips.

You gasp, stilling, but soon relax against his bold touch. You let your eyes flutter close, your muscles relaxing as you kiss him back.

Digger’s hand warms quickly against your flushed skin as his thumb draws idle patterns on your stomach. You move your mouth against his carefully, and he’s content to let you set the pace. Ever since you’d turned up, you’d been all Digger could think about back in his cell alone, his thoughts drifting to the typical, cocky ideas he had— But he also dared to imagine you’d want to continue the fleeting, tentative thing you had shared over four years before. He felt pathetic, still clinging to the memory of that goodbye kiss. But it wasn’t anything like his usual dalliances. You were something special. Something much better than he was.

You feel the pull of Digger’s mouth turning into a frown. You open your eyes gently to see him scowling as he opens his.

“What’s wrong?” You murmur, your hand reaching up to cup the side of his face. He shakes his head.

“Nothin’.” He says. “You just… never came back. Figured you didn’t…”

“Didn’t what?” You press on, pulling back to search his face.

But you can put it together yourself. His expression is an open book to you, as it always has been.

“I got caught up in my work.” You confess. “I always do.”

He huffs. “Don’t I know it.”

“But I— I saw you keeping busy too,” You tease, biting back a grin. “Finally hit up every bank in Australia. Fucking ridiculous.”

“Yeah, you were keepin’ tabs on me?” Digger’s smile widens.

“Maybe.”

“Then… Did y’know I came over?” He finally asks, after a moment. “Cleaned out a few U.S. banks too.”

“I heard,” But then, more somberly, “Heard you got picked up.”

And a little time later, you did too. It never crossed your mind they would ship you off to the same place that held Digger. You sigh as you let your head rest on his shoulder again. “Not that I minded.”

“Hey.”

“—Because… I think I’d have honestly gone insane if you weren’t here.” You finish. And you watch the way his affronted expression shifts back into that pleased, soft look he gives you so often— the one he thinks you don’t notice when you’re not looking.

You thread your fingers through his curls and drag him back down for another kiss. It’s more searing this time, one you hope makes up for all the times you’ve pushed him away.

Digger groans. He curls around you further, his hand sliding over your skin as he parts his lips. He pushes his tongue into your mouth and it meets yours with a hot swipe. You part for him in return, shivering as the two of you begin to suck and lick into each other’s mouths with more zeal, the binoculars and mission forgotten for a moment.

“Shade…” He murmurs. And you forget that you wanted to put that name away— wanted to throw your mask into the ocean and never call yourself that again. You didn’t deserve the persona anymore. But you’d missed the way his little nickname for you sounded on his tongue. You swipe at it again, taste it. Maybe you didn’t mind keeping the name if he was the one saying it.

Digger draws a moan from you when the hand beneath your shirt drifts upward, his palm closing over your breast. He kneads it slowly, fingers pressing together to pull the flesh under his touch firm. You lean back more. You push against the ground with your heel as you try to make any space between the two of you disappear. The Aussie makes another deep growl against your mouth when you tilt your hips, the motion making you rear brush up against his groin. Digger grinds back against you without hesitation. You don’t think it’s possible for him to squeeze his arms around you any tighter, but he does. You whimper when he lifts you off the ground, onto his lap where he can roll his hips against you with more of that slow, heated rhythm.

An incredibly awkward cough rings out.

You gasp, yanking away from Digger.

Colonel Flag stands a few feet away from the two of you with Lawton at his side. You feel yourself flush as Digger feels more inclined to roll his eyes.

“Oh, what now.” Digger snaps.

“Rotation. We’re here to uh, relieve you.”

Flag has the decency to look away while you remove yourself from Digger’s lap. Lawton, on the other hand, snorts at Flag’s mention of ‘relief’.

“Koala’s too busy clinging to his tree again.” He chuckles.

Digger scowls as he stands up. He makes sure to close up his trenchcoat over his front as he collects himself.

“That’s racist, mate.”

Floyd rolls his eyes. “Man, shut up and get back to camp. Before she doesn’t feel like cuddling up to you no more.” He adds pointedly.

Flag nods at you curtly while you hurry by with an apology, and Digger soon follows after you.

You wait until you’re both out of the Colonel and Deadshot’s sight, before you grab Digger’s hand and pull him against a tree. You allow him to crowd you against it, grinning up at him as you take both his lapels in your grasp.

“So grouchy all of a sudden.” You tease. You lean up on your toes to kiss Digger’s frown away.

“Everyone and their mother’s always interruptin’ me when I finally get you alone. You ever notice that?” He complains, and you definitely don’t consider it a pout.

“Well, no one’s around right now.” You point out. You slip your hands into his coat again, hooking your fingers into his waistband. When you pull him closer, Digger grunts at the way your knee slides up between his legs, your thigh meeting his middle, where he’s still hard from earlier. You arch a brow at him. “We don’t have to head back to camp right away, do we?”

The Aussie flashes you a megawatt grin so bright you think his gold tooth might light up. He leans down and captures your lips again. As he kisses you, he reaches down and plucks you up easily, his hands cupping the back of your thighs until your legs are wrapped around his waist, your back to the tree.

He pulls away for a moment to take another look at your face— how it’s bare, open, and staring back at him with more affection than he ever let himself imagine.

“Think I’m a bad influence on you, love.”

You grin. “Oh, please. Like I always followed the rules.”

[viinchester]

Requests

(My Masterlist)

You can request (Character) x Reader here! The characters and categories I'll do are on the list below! To request, please send an ask in with the character you want and a vague description of what you want the oneshot to be about.

Example: "Hey, could I get a Justin Foley x Reader where she's new like Hannah was and Justin instantly gets a crush on her and she doesn't like him at first but at the end she gives him a chance and they are dating? Tysm! <3"

Characters

Dexter (TV):

Dexter Morgan

Brian Moser / Rudy Cooper

13 Reasons Why:

Justin Foley

Alex Standall

Zachary Dempsey

Scott Reed

Montgomery de la Cruz

Bryce Walker

The Society:

Campbell Eliot

Grizz Visser

Harry Bingham

Luke Holbrook

Clark Beecher

Jason Alvarado

Detroit: Become Human:

Gavin Reed

Captain Allen

Connor

Markus

Until Dawn:

Joshua Washington

Michael Munroe

Jessica Riley

Supernatural:

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

John Winchester

Lucifer

Gabriel

Michael

Castiel

Crowley

Jack

Marvel (Movie/Show Versions):

Tony Stark

Steve Rogers

Bucky Barnes

Brock Rumlow

Loki

Venom/Eddie (Venom 2018/Venom: Let There Be Carnage)

Wade Wilson/Deadpool (Deadpool 2016)

Francis Freeman/Ajax (Deadpool 2016)

Sam Wilson

John Walker

Helmut Zemo

Divergent/Insurgent/Allegiant:

Eric Coulter

Four (Tobias Eaton)

Peter Hayes

The Host:

Kyle O'Shea

Ian O'Shea

Jared Howe

Maze Runner:

Gally

Thomas

Newt

Harry Potter / Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them:

Grindelwald

Percival Graves

Draco Malfoy

Tom Riddle

Snowpiercer:

Curtis Everett

Edgar

Franco the Younger

Knives Out:

Ransom Drysdale

Gifted:

Frank Adler

The Red Sea Diving Resort:

Ari Levinson

The Devil All The Time:

Lee Bodecker

Arvin Russell

Preston Teagardin

Roy Laferty

Suicide Squad (2016) & The Suicide Squad (2021):

Colonel Rick Flag

Captain Boomerang (George Harkness)

Peacemaker (Christopher Smith)

Blackguard (Richard Hertz)

Real People

Twenty One Pilots:

Joshua Dun

Tyler Joseph (Blurryface too)

Actors/Actresses:

Chris Evans

Henry Cavill

Sebastian Stan

Jared Padalecki

Mark Pellegrino

Categories

Angst

a little Fluff

Smut

Almost anything really

What I'm willing to write:

Rape/Non-Con

Swearing

Violence

Murder

Abuse

Blood/Gore

Polyamorous Relationships

What I don't do:

Pregnancy

Out-of-character(If something seems ooc for me I will say so while answering the request)

Lots of Fluff (idk I just don't like it too much. You can request the Fluff you want and if it's too much for me, I will say so while answering the request)

Also:

If I really like your idea/request, I may make it into a series or longer and into another idea, but I will tell you beforehand.

I'm not obligated to fulfill your request if I'm not comfortable with it, even if it's not stated here.

I don't shame anyone for anything. You can freely request without being judged, I will just tell you if I don't feel comfortable doing your idea but not judge you for it!

I may do other characters that are not on this list, but that's very rare. Please send in an ask if I do the character you want that's not on this list before sending in your idea. The same is for other fandoms.

And last but not least:

I will do LGBTQ+, however you need to state what you want in the request! For example: If you want the reader to be a gay male, you simply need to write '(Character) x Male!Reader'! If you want a transgender male-to-female reader, write something like '(Character) x mtf!Reader'! If you don't write what you want, I will put female pronouns, as it's easier for me since I'm a female myself.

That was all! Have a nice day and request away!

[luminnara]

I wonder what Dick would be like trying to flirt on the lead up if the mission, trying to be smooth and cool before screaming next to Weasel. The back track of trying to be cool again after than freak out would be glorious and I would probably fall for it, lol

Dick Hertz x fem!reader

This ended up way longer than intended and I am not mad about that lol

Sfw but raunchy!

Requests for oneshots and HCs are open!

You were no stranger to the concept of the suicide squad.

Thanks to your own colorful past, and powers that you couldn’t always quite control at first, you were stuck serving out a long ass sentence at Belle Reve, the shittiest shit hole of them all. Your only escape from the mundane, high-security monotony was the occasional mission from Waller.

The Suicide Squad—more officially known as Task Force X—was the latest installment in Amanda Waller’s series of highly classified, top secret, black ops teams. She chose Belle Reve’s most infamous criminals, many of whom had extraordinary powers and even more extraordinary reputations, and tossed them together on incredibly dangerous missions. You knew she didn’t care whether you lived or died, but successfully completing such impossible tasks always cut time off your sentence, and with nothing else to do with your time, you always thought it was worth the risk.

And besides...you hadn’t died yet.

So when Waller approached you during your daily yard time, you already knew what to expect.

“Yeah, yeah.” You grumbled as you followed her into the exam room and plopped down in the same old chair. “I know the drill. I go off mission, you blow my brains out.”

“—with the explosive device implanted in the base of your skull. Correct.” Waller said, unimpressed.

“And what, you have to give me a fresh one?” You raised an eyebrow as the doctor made you lean forward. “Lose the button for the last one or something? Or are you afraid that just one won’t do the job?”

Waller looked even less impressed. “I suggest you put a lid on that attitude today.”

“Why?” You winced at the feeling of a thick needle pushing into the back of your neck. “Jesus, fuck! Seriously, how many little bombs do I need in my head?”

“Good luck, puppy.” The doctor sneered as you stood up to follow Waller back out into the corridor.

“This is a black ops mission.” She continued with her usual spiel. “Your commanding officer is Colonel Rick Flag.”

You gasped. “The Colonel Rick Flag?”

She turned to glance at you.

“I have no idea who that is.”

You could hear her sigh in exasperation. “Suit up and go outside to the transport. You’ll meet the rest of the team and fly out to Corto Maltese.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Yeah, the Suicide Squad was a nice distraction from your shitty everyday life...but putting your ass on the line for someone who didn’t give a shit whether you lived or died, and who was always hovering above the button that would splatter your brains all over the wall, wasn’t exactly the greatest feeling in the world.

Waller waited as you ducked into a room to change. There was a black box waiting for you, and upon opening it, you couldn’t help but grin at the sight of your old gear. The dark gray leather suit fit like a glove, and your gun had been cleaned and polished after your last mission, the painfully bright fluorescent lights reflecting off of the barrel with a gleam. You grabbed your gloves and strapped your ammo belts on before buckling a gray carbon fiber mask on.

Wearing your own stuff always lifted your spirits. It was the suit you’d been arrested in a few years ago back in Metropolis, and after seizing it, the feds had been nice enough to give it some upgrades with newer tech. Anything to make you a better government-sanctioned killing machine, you guessed, and it’s not like you were gonna turn it down. After all, killing was how you ended up in Belle Reve in the first place, and it was one of the only things you were good at...it just made sense for Waller to want to put your near-inhuman skills to good use.

You walked out to join her again, lugging a canvas bag of equipment and supplies along behind you.

“Pick that up and carry it correctly.” She snapped as the doors at the end of the hall opened.

“Why don’t you eat my—“

You interrupted yourself by groaning at the bright sunlight as it hit your eyes, raising a hand to shield your face as you managed to spot an armored truck waiting for you.

“You’ll have a lot of new teammates.” Waller called after you. “Be on your best behavior. I’m not responsible for anything they do to you.”

“Probably just a bunch of old farts like always!” You yelled back as you jumped up into the back of the vehicle.

Two guards sat down on either side of you as you got yourself settled in. There was another woman already waiting, her skin orange, her hair in a high ponytail that seemed to be pulled through the top of her helmet. She was regarding you with very little interest, and that was absolutely fine with you. You had a few friends within the Belle Reve prison complex, and you weren’t necessarily looking for more.

The ride was short and uneventful. You passed through a few gates that took forever to open, waited for a few security checks, the usual shit. When the truck came to a halt and you hopped out again, you were at a small airbase hosting a few hangars for planes and helicopters, one of the latter already sitting outside. Guards from Belle Reve were lining the circle of armored vehicles, and as yours joined them and the back doors were opened once more, you grimaced at the bright sunlight.

“Afraid of a little sun?” The orange woman laughed, baring her teeth at you.

“Hurts my eyes,” you mumbled, jumping down after her.

You landed on pavement, looking down at your feet in an attempt to avoid the oncoming headache you knew was imminent. When your shoulder rammed into someone, though, you had to look up anyway.

What you saw wasn’t exactly what you were expecting.

A good looking blond guy was looking down at you, a cocky grin on his face. “Whoa, didn’t realize we were getting a babe this time!”

You glared at him, grateful for the mask covering the lower half of your face.

He couldn’t see you blush that way.

“Little girl’s got some ammo, huh?” He reached for one of the belts strapped across your chest,

Your hand flew up to grab his wrist and you held him in a Vice-like grip, your glare more pointed now. “Touch me, and you can see some of it from behind your eyeballs.”

Blondie whistled lowly, relaxing his arm. “You’re tough, huh? I like that in a girl.”

You dropped his wrist and rolled your eyes. “Still gonna like it when I’m ripping your balls off?”

You could swear he was swooning on his feet. “Baby, you are a goddamn tease...”

“Oy, Dickhead!” An Australian voice rang out, “back off!”

His grin faltered for a moment, obvious disappointment flashing over his face. “Oh. Got a man already. Damn.”

“Who, Boomer?” You grinned, unclipping your mask as you turned to wave at one of your only friends. “Nah, I’d never fuck that wanker.”

“I heard that!” The gold-toothed Aussie yelled.

You let out a loud laugh as you looked back to blondie.

You were caught off guard by the actual, genuine look on his face. He was admiring your smile now that your mask was off, his eyes lingering on your lips for a fraction of a second longer than they should have. He was trying to be smooth, you could tell, and most people wouldn’t have noticed something so slight...but you were an assassin working your way through a couple life sentences, and you weren’t most people.

It all only lasted a moment before the cocky grin was back. “So, after this, you wanna come back to my cell, maybe we could, you know...” he waggled his eyebrows at you, making a hip thrusting motion you almost couldn’t believe a grown criminal was making.

“Maybe focus on not dying first, slim.” You patted his chest before turning towards Boomer, leaving blondie to stare after you—or more precisely, your ass—with a dramatic, longing look.

Your friend was regarding you with an amused expression. “Flirtin’ on the job? Didn’t think you had it in ya.”

“Shut up.” You punched his arm a little too hard and he winced. “Who is that guy, anyway?”

“Dick,” Boomer said, rubbing his arm.

“Don’t call me a dick—“

“No, dumbass, that’s his name. Richard Hertz.”

“...very funny, Boomer, but there’s no fucking way his parents named their kid Dick Hertz.”

Boomer shrugged. “Believe me or don’t, I don’t care. Either way, it’s the truth.”

You scoffed and stole a glance over at your new admirer. He was tall and pretty well built, platinum blond hair short, lips pulled back in a grin that showed off straight white teeth. He was dressed in all black, two guns holstered to his chest, and as he messed with a Belle Reve guard by pretending to reach for one, he looked like an overgrown child who should not have been allowed to hold onto firearms.

“Please tell me he’s got a cooler name,” you groaned.

“Why? So you can scream it at night?” Boomer cackled. “He goes by Blackguard. He’s pretty strong from what I hear. Prolly pretty fun in bed, too.”

You wrinkled your nose and rounded on Boomer. “Shut up.”

“You like him.” Your friend grinned. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. Just remember to name your kid after good ol’ Uncle Boomer.”

You gave him a rough shove and he stumbled back a few steps, laughing like a madman the entire time.

“Hey!” One of the guards barked at you.

Rather than pushing your luck with your armed babysitters, you huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. More cars were pulling up, dropping off the rest of your comrades, and while Boomer was distracted with them, you stole another glance at Dick.

He was still messing with the same guard, and was receiving some harsh warning glares in the process. Was he a complete idiot, or was he so cocky because he could actually handle it? He had to have ended up in Belle Reve for a reason. It wasn’t the type of place you went to for innocent misdemeanors. And if he was chosen for a Suicide Squad mission, that meant that his sentence was long enough to warrant risking his life to lessen it...and it also meant that he was useful.

When he winked at you, you realized with a start that he had totally noticed the way you were checking him out.

Fuck.

“Time to load up!” A voice yelled, saving you from any further embarrassment.

A few minutes later, you were strapping yourself into your seat on the chopper, pretending not to notice as Dick struggled with his seatbelt across from you. The guy sitting next to him had to help, and when you finally couldn’t help yourself, you let out a quiet laugh from behind your mask.

Dick’s head shot up to look at you, that cocky grin plastered to his face again.

“Wish you were over here helpin’ me,” he said bravely. “Rather have your hands down by my—“

“Dick.” Colonel Flag warned as he stood above you all with his gun in his hands.

Boomer let out a loud laugh at the unintentionally dirty euphemism and you snorted.

“What? Just makin’ some conversation,” Blackguard said, leaning towards you with a wolfish glint in his eyes. “You don’t mind, do ya, Princess?”

Your cheeks were heating up behind your mask, and he could see the way your eyes crinkled slightly with your smile.

God, he wished he could see your smile again.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late!” A familiar voice said. “Had to go number two.”

“...Good to know.” Flag sighed as none other than Harley Quinn herself hopped in.

“Harley!” You called, reaching for her with grabby hands as she looked for her seat.

“Hey there, baby!” The pale blonde woman greeted, slamming her equipment bag into Savant’s head. “Hey, Boomer!”

“What’re you doin’ back in prison, Harls?” Boomer asked, hanging onto the nylon mesh cage behind him as he stretched his arms out.

“Got road rage. In a bank.” She finally found a spot between you and Javelin, and as Flag checked everyone over, the chopper took off into the air.

The lighting was dim and red, the thrumming of the helicopter blades blending in with the white noise of the pressurized cabin. Save for that, it was quiet for a while, everybody either sizing each other up, or, in Dick’s case, imagining how you looked under your suit.

“So, uh...how much longer you in for?” He asked you.

You raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because I don’t exactly think I should be talkin’ about sneakin’ into your cell while Flag is here to rat me out about it,” Dick grinned.

You caught the colonel rolling his eyes.

“Hey, that never stopped anybody,” Harley said brightly.

“Boutta be in a whole big ass jungle,” Boomer elbowed you in the side. “Plentya room in there to be alone.”

You groaned as Dick gave you a sly grin.

“Y’know, this mission’ll be over in no time.” He said, stretching his arms out behind his head. “I’ve got some wicked ass powers. I got this.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked, recognizing the way he was trying to peacock and impress you. “Not worried about anything?”

“Baby, I’ll carry this whole team. Just you watch.”

“I’m looking forward to it, Dick.” You bit his name out as more of an insult, but he didn’t seem to care, giving you another wink.

He obviously thought that his flirting and posturing was working...but you were pretty sure he was just annoying. Cute, but annoying. Maybe good for a hook up here or there...but that was about it.

“We’re in a butcher’s freezer, Harls!” Boomer called from the other end of the bench. “Surrounded by dead hogs hangin’ on hooks. Only they don’t know it yet.”

“Leave ‘em alone, Boomer!” She called back with a laugh.

You chuckled at your friends, leaning your head back as you settled in for the flight. Harley was complimenting Javelin’s accent, you still didn’t know what TDK stood for, and Boomer was just starting to mess with him about the fact that all names were made of letters when the freaky weasel-thing next to Dick stole everyone’s attention.

It was one of the strangest creatures you had ever seen. Human height, covered in mangy brown fur, with big bulging eyes and a mouth full of sharp little teeth all made it both fascinating and concerning to look at, and as it made a few disgustingly wet retching sounds, Dick nodded towards it.

“Yo, is this a dog?” He asked.

“...What?” You asked in disbelief. He had to be fucking with you, right? There was no way he meant it.

“Is this thing a dog?” He repeated.

“A...a dog?”

“Yes.”

“What...what kinda dog do you think it is, mate?” Boomer asked.

“I dunno, I’m not familiar with all the breeds.” Dick gave him an incredulous look.

“I’m gonna go with Afghan hound.” TDK said.

“Since when does an afghan hound have bloody thumbs?”

“Oh my god, is it a werewolf?” Harley asked excitedly. “I’ve wanted to meet a werewolf for ever!”

Dick was already up and struggling against his restraints. “Yo, they sat me next to a werewolf?!”

“That’s not right,” TDK agreed as his neighbor slammed into him in his desperate attempt at an escape.

Boomer was laughing loudly, and you couldn’t help but join in. “You’re seriously scared of werewolves?”

Dick glanced up at you as he tried to unbuckle his seatbelt. “Yes, I fuckin’ am! So fuckin’—get me out! I do not fuck with werewolves, there is no fuckin’ way—“

“Maybe you should hop onto your new girlfriend’s lap!” Boomer cackled, jabbing a finger towards you.

“Poor baby,” you cooed, and as you saw the look in Blackguard’s eyes, you were pretty convinced that he was about to try to tear his way out so that he actually could.

“Hey, hey, he’s not a werewolf!” Flag yelled over the commotion. “He’s a weasel, he’s harmless! I mean, he’s not harmless, he’s killed 27 children, but I—I think we got him to—I think he’s agreed to this, so relax.”

“Thought you were super tough?” You asked as Dick calmed down and caught his breath. “Gonna carry the whole team?”

Rather than the snarky flirtation you expected, he actually looked a bit defeated. When you raised an eyebrow, though, he took the prompt, and the most desperate backtracking you had ever seen began.

“Yeah, well...” he scoffed, trying to give you a cool look. “Caught me off guard, that’s all. No big deal.”

“Off guard? Isn’t guard, like, in your name?” You teased, your smile genuine behind your mask. Alright...he was winning you over now. He was an idiot, but...maybe he was a lovable one.

He faltered for a second. “I-I mean, yeah, well...”

Flag was shaking his head. “Get into position to drop!”

Everyone unbuckled themselves and collected their things, lining up to jump into the ocean off the coast of Corto Maltese. When you saw that Dick was back to struggling with it, again, you smiled to yourself and leaned down in front of him.

“For what it’s worth...” you said as you pulled up on the metal tab, your hand dangerously close to his crotch, “I wouldn’t mind shacking up somewhere in the jungle with you.”

He stated at you with wide eyes, disbelief written all over his face. He really was cuter when he wasn’t putting on such a dumb, cocky facade, and he jumped up as quickly as he could to follow you.

You just laughed as you straightened up and walked away, Blackguard right on your heels. As the door opened and the big, dark ocean came into view below you, you felt a hand brushing against your hip and a firm chest press up against your back. You realized you could have stayed right there forever, patiently waiting to see how far he was brave enough to go...but you were both members of the Suicide Squad, and you had a job to do.

“I’ll see you down there, Dick,” you said, turning your head slightly to glance at him.

“See you on the other side, baby,” he grinned.

[luminnara]

I’ve read all the blackguard one shots on the Internet over the past two days and I need more so

*thanos voice* fine, I’ll do it myself 

(Requests are now open for dick hertz x reader lol)

[himbovillain-anon]

Let's be real here we ALL love that bleach blond dumbass that's scared of werewolves

Also this could totally be considered a sequel to this

Blackguard dating a fellow teammate

You figured that you would make some friends when working on the squad, although you never expected that you would be anything more with anyone

But for some reason you and blackguard managed to strike a cord with one another, sure, there were times where he was a little dimwitted, but that was just part of his charm

You were excited when waller stated that you were working with him again, even though she said that there was no funny business to be tolerated, it was still nice to catch up with him after not seeing each other for a while

The two of you were chatting about the mission when TDK decided to ask how the two of you knew each other, which led to dick proudly saying that the two of you were dating each other

He was probably expecting a different reaction, at least something apart from surprise, when he asked why that was shocking, TDK just said that they didn't know that was possible before walking away

Needless to say you were both confused, which led to dick making a joke about him being jealous, why wouldn't he be? After all, you're both total catches and you're both dating each other

Unfortunately TDK wasn't the only one who couldn't believe that the team's resident idiot had an s/o, with javelin joking about how fake it seemed and boomerang asking whether it happened through threat or coercion

You could tell that dick was putting up a facade when he joked again about everyone being jealous this time, it was easy to see that he was getting a little insecure about the situation

You decided to ask if he was alright or not, and to your surprise, he seemed genuinely upset, saying that the squad made it seem like you were way to good for him

Hearing him say that was one hell of a gut punch, you knew that you loved him despite the fact that he wasn't all that bright, and you were sure to let him, and the rest of the squad know that

You were on the edge of the chopper as soon as everyone was about to drop out, with dick standing next to you, you decided to pull him into a quick kiss in front of all of your teammates before jumping into the water

Seeing all of their surprised reactions gave dick the ego boost he needed going into this mission, and he was sure to never let any of his teammates live this down

[himbovillain-anon]

Request: Blackguard being a dumbass in love

Honestly I don't fucking know if this was a request or not I just wanted to write for the dumb bitch and my fellow himbo lover @paintmekala suggested this to me

Either way enjoy

Getting thrown into belle reve was nothing short of a pain in the ass, after all, you didn’t even know anyone from here and the mortality rate in this shithole was skyrocketing by the minute

One of the first inmates you interacted with was some bleach blond guy who had a few tattoos, you didn’t pay him too much attention, but he seemed to have a bit of an interest in you

You’ve been slowly but surely adjusting to the new prison life you were conscripted into, although it was starting to dawn on you that you may have had a little secret admirer

I take that back, it was blatantly obvious who it was that had a crush on you

It started with one of the prison rats sending you little messages, it was confusing at first, and you had to ask cleo why her pet rat was giving you little notes, but it soon became clear what was happening

The problem was is that dick was far from the most subtle person and even further from being the smartest, and those elaborate plans he was cooking up to get your attention were starting to become more and more frequent

The notes weren’t the only means of flirtation that he used, a wink from the other side of the room, him asking whether or not you wanted to play cards together, and not-so sneakily trying to climb over to your district gates or into your cell to talk to you

In fact, you don’t think that you’ve gone a day without the guards telling him to stop trying to get a date out of this

That said, it was kind of endearing how he always wanted to interact with you, you didn’t have many friends here and you had to admit that he was kind of cute

Maybe the next time you saw him you can ask him out and see how he feels about that, hopefully the whole ordeal wouldn't surprise him too much

[himbovillain-anon]

Bold of you to assume dick has any brain cells to share

Being friends w/ Blackguard

It's kind of unclear how the two of you ended up being friends, but whatever happened it definitely led to something fun for the both of you and hell for everyone else

You'll have the weirdest and funniest conversations, even during a suicide mission the two of you could be talking about whether you could use hair bleach on clothes

It's been established many times that dick is far from the brightest person in the room, so sometimes you'll have to help him out with plans or restrain him from doing something too dangerous

That said, whenever you want have some fun and do something stupid, then there's about 100% chance that he's in, even if it gets the whole team into a shitload of trouble

If you ever had to go on a suicide mission together, then chaos is going to ensue, sure many people will die and waller will have about a billion reasons to blow both your heads off, but it's totally worth it

You're both each other's wingman, and it's blatantly obvious to everyone whenever either of you try to set up a date for the other person

Both of you are scared of the weasel thing, even if isn't a werewolf it's still a giant bug-eyed furball that should not be on the team

Dick is the type of guy to get absolutely wasted at a bar, so you might have to drive him home whenever things get out of hand

The two of you get a kick out of annoying everyone else in the group, it's just so funny seeing them so pissed off during your antics

[himbovillain-anon]

Hell yes more himbo content

Comfort hcs w/ Blackguard

It may take a while for dick to actually get used to trying to comfort others and accepting the fact that he needs comfort as well, mainly because he's so used to being a contemptible bastard that it's hard to get out of that mindset

Although it isn't fair to say that he doesn't try, after all he legitimately wants you to know that he's there for you, even if he is a little awkward at first

He gets better at being reassuring after a while, he may have to ask what helps you calm down in certain situations, and he tries to work with what ideas you give him

Despite what you may think, he's surprisingly attentive whenever you want to rant about something that's been happening, although he'll probably make a few jokes to help ease the situation

In fact, jokes are probably his go to when it comes to trying to cheer you up and distract you from whatever's stressing you out, he's both intentionally and unintentionally funny, so he knows what he's doing

Dick isn't exactly the best at being serious when the situation calls for it, so he doesn't really say much whenever something genuinely upsetting happens, he can try to find the right words to comfort you, but it probably won't come out the way he wanted

That said, if jokes or affirmations don't help, then he knows that he can still use physical affection if you need it, sometimes he'll just absentmindedly pull you closer to him whenever he thinks you need comfort

Please be patient with him, he knows he isn't all that smart and that he isn't exactly used to being genuine with others, but he really does care for you, and trust me, with a guy like dick in your corner, it probably won't be long until you forget what you're even upset about

[himbovillain-anon]

So sorry this is late anon I literally just finished writing this and my laptop crashed on me lmao

Going out partying w/ Blackguard

It isn't necessarily a surprise, but this guy is arguably the biggest fan of going out to bars and having fun with the squad, even if said squad is *technically* on a dangerous mission

Won't be the first to get drunk, but he'll be the first to start ordering rounds for everybody, and he'll definitely be trying out a couple rounds of shots

While he does act like a huge party animal, he still tries to stay relatively close to you while he's drunk-dancing on the table top, would totally encourage you to join him on his antics

He's probably in the middle when it comes to how long it takes for him to get drunk, he isn't completely nuts after the first few drinks, but after a couple more rounds he's absolutely shitfaced

You thought he was an idiot when he was sober? Well then just you wait, he takes all that stupidity and takes it up to 11 when he's drunk

He'll be taking way too many risks (such as trying to arm wrestle with nanaue or trying to sharpie dicks on passed out strangers) that will probably get the two of you in a whole lot of trouble

Also, whenever the two of you are both drunk, the you both turn into those guys on the dancefloor, the ones that just can't keep their hands off each other until someone yells out saying that you two really need to get a room

By the end of the night, he'll probably getting way too tired to even think about anything, so just get him a burrito and drive him home, he'll be out like a light soon enough

[alecyoualot]

Alexandria Roman (a.k.a. Dark Angel) is unlucky to have caught a so-called lethal hitman scarfing through her cookie jar in the dark after waking to get some water. And she is just as lucky, for many reasons to be discovered, that this said hitman is none other than Richard Hertz (a.k.a. Blackguard).

you know what if i can’t find blackguard x reader/oc fics (full ones i mean ! vv thankful for the few oneshot writers <3) i’ll write them myself 😤😭 here is the first chapter to my blackguard x oc fanfic ! it’s a very grumpy gf, bubbly bf pair if you’re into that. also slow updates because of college but i try to make them long. hopefully this satisfies the pete davidson fans <3