#rika i love yoo

[yeonggisbitch]

girlfriends 💓

[trashlie]

FP203/End of Arc Thoughts

I was trying to figure out the best way to handle my end-of-fllashback-arc/203 thoughts and rather than trying to rewrite everything I’ve already written, I’m going to just copy my reddit commentary over into this post, and then try to follow up on things that I want to discuss in more detail or that I think deserves to be focused on lol. So if you read the comments in the episode discussion posts on reddit, there’s nothing new here! 

But for those who don’t go on the reddit, then it’s business as usual below this cut! 

Oh my god, the end of this episode. I wonder how much she actually told Nol - did she name Alyssa? Was everything we saw something she was telling him? The thought of her telling him about falling from the window and embracing that feeling, of laying there on the ground and wishing she could just take flight like a bird, too. I had assumed that this was more like... her reminiscing on her own, but the dialogue at the very end is definitely for Nol - talking about how everything moved on, time continued, and she had to continue to deal with the effects of it. There’s something vaguely optimistic about it, and I know it’s because present Shinae is talking and because this reflection is combined with all the things she has experienced since then, what she’s come to learn. Watching time pass - her father fall into the habits that got her into her current mess, the selective color on the beanie and sweater from Alyssa, the progression of her hair growing out, their middle school graduation. There’s so many things I want to pick out of here and I hope I’ll remember to do that as I gush over this.

I didn’t expect those teachers to be fired at all.* We already know that Shinae has a wariness towards adults, and for the ones who actually helped and respected her, to be fired because of what happened to her is really devastating. The math club teacher was the one who found her and probably saved her life, and she was punished. I mean, on the one hand, I understand? The idea is that as teachers who hear the rumor mill, who know when students are being bullied, they should intervene. But we know and we’ve seen that intervention never does anything, and all it did was create a guilt complex in a girl too young to bear that weight of responsibility and one that continued to grow.

(* a teacher friend of mine says rather than fired, she thinks those teachers were probably traumatized, as well, and quit of their own accord)

There’s something about these little snapshots of Shinae with Maya, Rika, and Minhyuk - even if Shinae had never learned to be truly open friends with Maya and Rika until they were older, it’s clear that the after effects of that fall DID affect their friendship. Had she never fallen, maybe they would have been able to grow into close friends sooner. Shinae put her guarded walls up not only because she didn’t trust others after Alyssa hurt her, but also because of the ramifications of association with her. Teachers were fired, her father’s life became harder, Minhyuk lost all of his friends; she didn’t get close to people so as to not bring them down as much as because she didn’t trust them. She told herself she doesn’t like people to comfort herself both because people can hurt you and to try to stave off how much she, too, wished to win peoples’ favors. But because she closed herself out, because she cut off others and kept her distance, we saw the fall out that occurred with Maya, who was already jealous and felt othered. Something I’ve always thought is that it was never that Maya disliked Shinae - it was that her feelings were at odds with their relationship. When Maya first met Kousuke in the hospital she took his ass down defending Shinae. So many of Maya’s issues with Shinae were because of how Shinae closed her out, how she felt like Shinae didn’t want to be her friend. It’s just. idk it’s something that really gets to me, seeing these little snapshots of the four of them having fun together, despite how the rest of their school was alienating them and pulling away. Despite everything, they had each other. And I’m a mess!!!!!

“We all kept moving forward... because life doesn’t stop for anyone. Keep riding along and see where the road you’re walking takes you... Even if the road needs some maintenance or is being blocked... It’s just a temporary delay... We all eventually reach our destination.”

Who are the words for at the end? The dead end - is it both of them, hers? Hers but applies to them both? Shiane thought this favor from Kousuke would help, at least patch things over and take care of her father’s debt, but now it’s left her stuck in a new situation she cannot get out of. Nol thought he would be able to make his escape, but his detour is leading him to jail time.

There’s something SO optimistic about the concept that we all eventually reach out destination but this... this is just yet another dead end. But maybe there’s room for them to find their ways out of this dead end together, the way Shinae was able to carry on with Maya, Minhyuk, and Rika at her side?

(Sidebar: that moment with that narration and the four walking around together looking like they’re having fun, while Alyssa goes to? from? dance practice? GOD there’s something about that moment that just GETS to me, the juxtaposition of Shinae with her friends against the one who could have been but failed at it in every way.)

I have a LOT of thoughts about the ramifications of Shinae's fall. The way she tried to leave everyone out hurts, but also what else do we expect from her? The thing about that fall is that prior, Shinae still believed she could change things in her life. She believed that she could leave her past (at her first school) in the past and start over, make friends, find somewhere to fit in, but life was far from kind to her. She made so much effort to try to defy everything, to set things right, to do the right thing and defend herself, but it only made things worse. And if she'd told the truth, the teachers would probably have had a fair investigation on their hands. But in that moment, when Shinae sat in the hospital and realized how much harder life was going to become for her father, that's when she concluded she doesn't deserve to fight it, that she can't change anything. Why would she name those girls when the last time she called anyone out, everything blew up in her face? If she'd never gotten the girl who bought their project in trouble, maybe the bullying would have been quieter. Less this than it was. Why would she dare name them again? The fact that they completely declared innocence though, ugh. I mean, do I expect them to fess up? Absolutely not. They are the type of bullies who believed they're allowed to bully a bully - in their minds everything they did was righteous and Shinae got what she deserves.

As for Alyssa, I hope we get to see things from her side one day. What kind of anguish or horror, what she felt, and if she holds any regret for it. I think she does. I think you have to be a truly rotten person to feel no regret, especially since we know she didn't actually mean to push Shinae and even in those last moments she still slipped up and showed concern for her, even if she could never reconcile it.

"I thought it was going to help me get there... but it turned out to be yet another dead end." Ugh, the impact of those words, combined with Nol and Shinae sitting and looking over at each other like that. ;~; It's something so... idk. vulnerable, something they share even though they didn't know it until this moment. I have to hope that Shinae opening up to him will help. Nol needs to understand that he is not the only one who has been dealt an unfair hand by life, that he's not the only one who has been tormented by his own existence, and to see that despite it all, even if it's faint, you eventually come out on the right side. Even now, Shinae may be facing a dead end, but look where she has ended up compared to the Shinae of 3 months earlier. My girl ;~; my heart ;~;

What a very satisfying way to wrap up this arc. Idk there's just. There's something about that passing of time that GETS to me. The selective color and the hair growth and Shinae going through the motions of friendship, the way this was one of the hurdles that hindered her friendship with Maya and Rika who, to their credit, did stay by her side even if it was at the request of Minhyuk. I believe in my heart that though Minhyuk asked that favor of them, Maya still said yes because she wanted to, because she hoped that one day she and Shinae could become the friends she'd become with Minhyuk, that she could open up and trust them. I think that's still one of the most beautiful things about Maya and Shinae fighting and making up - there was so much caught up between them, and it was on both ends. Shinae not trusting Maya and expecting the worst of her, Maya holding things against Shinae she didn't deserve, Shinae keeping everyone at a distance, Maya wanting to be a friend Shinae could rely on and trust. Just... all the ramifications on a whole! Shinae becoming this very independent person so that she could never bring anyone down, because her father was absent, because she HAD to be independent to get by and survive and to protect herself and others ;~; I have SO. MANY. FEELINGS.

Rereading the ending and I think it's very possible this narration is still Shinae to herself, but just based on the way they're sitting hugging their knees, looking over at each other, she has to have told him something significant, and after everything we just went through, even though I previously thought she wouldn't name Alyssa, I'm now of the mind that why would we be shown all of this if she didn't at least say she had a friend who wasn't good to her, and how the fall ultimately happened. In fact, it makes me wonder if this might well be the first time Shinae told ANYONE how the fall happened, that others were involved, the kind of bullying incident that lead to it. Ugh. ;~; I can't imagine that she skimmed over it if he's looking over at her like that. Like, you'd think if she was vague, he'd be like everyone else and want to ask questions, or have an expression that clearly reads he knows she's not telling her the truth, but the use of showing only their partial expressions, something so... idk VULNERABLE, I think she's shared something she's probably never shared before? Aaaahhhhhhhh ;______; Big steps, maybe.

ALSO THE WAY MINHYUK BRAGGED THAT HE COULD HAVE HIS PICK OF ANY SCHOOL. ANY OF THEM and in the end he still chose to stay where he could be near Shinae. Left in the dark about what happened, aware that he's the only person who cares about her, the weight of his guilt for not being there to stop it to help her and how it shaped him into who he is. We all talked about how Minhyuk is so overprotective to the point that it blinded him to important things - like how Maya felt - but in the same way this transformed Shimhan, Shinae, Maya, and yes, probably Alyssa - Minhyuk was inherently altered. I said it on my tumblr, but there's something about how Dieter thinks Minhyuk is overprotective of Shinae because he doesn't trust her to handle her own problems, but really it's that Minhyuk, too, was traumatized by what happened and his inability to be a person who could help her. Knowing that he was the only person who cared about her, the only person who was willing to know her truth, made him grow ever more protective of the small, scrappy girl who just wanted to be peoples' friends and never deserved anything that happened to her. When you think about it, it must have been such a hard decision for him to make, to go to university in Chicago. And when he did, IT HAPPENED AGAIN! Shinae's stalker sister, being stuck at the Hirahara Corporation, knowing she's at work with people who have manipulated and hurt her. You literally cannot blame him for the intense overprotective way he treats her - it's not that he doesn't trust her or doesn't think she has it in her. It's that HE has never gotten over what happened to her and how easily it can (AND DID!!!!) happen again. It's that Minhyuk treasures Shinae and wants to show her the value she has and, in the same way as Shimhan, wants to protect her from things she never deserved to deal with ;~; don't touch me I AM EMOTIONS.

I have been lol thinking a LOT lately about Minhyuk and his entire character, how without the background context, it's so easy to blow his protectiveness out of proportion, but once you have the actual details, it's like... wow how could Minhyuk turn out any other way? It feels like the kind of nightmare that hovers at the edge of your mind - maybe it doesn't pop up anymore but you can't help but worry that maybe it will show up again. Frankly, the love that Minhyuk has for Shinae is so.... ;_______; I still haven't recovered from when he burst in yelling that he's the only damn person who cares about her like ;____; EVERYONE WAS SO HEAVILY AFFECTED BY THAT INCIDENT :( Minhyuk and Shinae talking about how he needs to let her take care of her problems seems even bigger now that we know what we do - how that kind of fear must still cling to him.

[ohplagg]

I Love Yoo Timeline Part 4/4

The Timeline

This is part 4 of 4 of my I Love Yoo Timeline as of Episode 241.

Part 1 and 2 consists of laying out all the detailed evidence with descriptions, screenshots and episode number.

Part 3 consists of explaining the evidence, connecting the dates and some math because the I Love Yoo universe (the Yooniverse, if you will) uses letters instead of numbers to represent official years.

Part 4 is the I Love Yoo Timeline.

---------

If you havent read the previous 3 parts of this mega post I highly encourage you to go check them out before continuing since up ahead I will be writing and explaining under the assumption that you have read the previous 3 parts.

All the events are placed where they are according to the evidence. I will not be providing much explanation in this post as to why things are placed where they are in the timeline so if you need explanation go back to the previous parts.

I also won't be adding most of Shin-Ae focused events otherwise the timeline becomes unnecessarily messy.

And lastly, I won't be mentioning every single event that has happened in current year of the story (20XX), only major events. If you want a more detailed timeline for present year this old reddit post that goes up to episode 146 has more details.

While I was finishing writing this timeline AugmentedElle from reddit published her own version of the timeline (Elle, if you see this, big fan. I don't have reddit but big fan) which has some parts I disagree with based on my interpretation of the evidence but her timeline is so well written and easy to follow + it's more detailed than mine that I honestly do recommend checking it out as well because Elle did a way better job than me in that regard.

Without further ado..

Cheat sheet

Because the Yooniverse uses the alphabet instead of numbers to keep track of years, it's hard to really grasp how much time has really passed. This is why I created this little chart where it lays down the year with the number equivalent and the age each character had in each specific year.

Dieter, Soushi, Maya and Rika were born the same year as Shin-Ae.

Sang-Chul and Alyssa were born the same year.

Meg was born the same year as Kousuke.

Yui's age is not exact. We only know she is in her 40s meaning she can be either 40 or 49. Meaning she was pregnant with Kousuke between 16-25. I chose 20 for no other reason than it's right in the middle.

I have no idea of anyone else's age (Rand, Hansuke, YuJing, etc) so I didn't even add my guesses to not confuse the timeline. If you know any clue about someone's age I would love to know!

The Timeline

I'll start with the earliest date and move forward from there.

Italic means that it's not known when exactly in the year that specific event took place. I still placed the event where it makes most sense.

January 20WA === 50 years ago

Young-Chul Kim become Chairman of Hirahara Corp.

Prestigious Prep School starts mishandling reports of SA

+ 25 Year

October 31st, 20WY === 25 years ago

Young-Chul Kim steps down as Chairman after SA accusations

Hirahara Corp CFO of several years, Randulph Hannesson is a witness against Young-Chul Kim

Next year

January 20WZ === 24 years ago

Yui and Rand get married without the public's knowledge

Yui and Rand have their honeymoon in February

Kousuke is conceived in February

Rand gets announced as temporary chairman of Hirahara Corp on March 27th

As of March 27th, the press and public only know that Yui and Rand relationship goes as far as "seeing each other in public"

Kousuke is born November 8th

+ 5 Years

January 20XE ==== 19 years ago

Nol is conceived around March

Kousuke has his 5th birthday

Nol is born December 21st

+ 6 Years

January 20XJ ==== 13 Years ago

Nol and Nessa move to USAsia

Nol and Kousuke meet for the first time

Kousuke has his 11th birthday

Nol has his 6th birthday

+ 4 Years

January 20XO ==== 9 years ago

Kousuke Graduates High School (Nessa is at the park the same day)

Yui and Rand's public marriage reconciliation

Kousuke starts college

Kousuke gets a college friend group

Kousuke has his 15th birthday

Nol has his 10th birthday

Next Year

January 20XP ==== 8 years ago

Kousuke has his 16th birthday

Nol has his 11th birthday

Nessa is found dead December 21st

The brother incident happens

Nol is taken to the Mental Facility

+ 2 Years

January 20XR ==== 6 years ago

Nol gets out of the Mental Facility

Nol get's officially introduced as Rand's bastard son

Kousuke has his 18th birthday

Nol has his 13th birthday

Next Year

January 20XS ==== 5 years ago

Nana moves to US Asia*

Nol moves in with Nana*

Shin-Aer starts going to Min-Hyuk's middle school

Shin-Ae has her 12th birthday

Alyssa has her 13th birthday

Shin-Ae and Alyssa meet

Kousuke has his 19th birthday

Alyssa pushes Shin-Ae

Shin-Ae gets out of the hospital

Nol has his 14th birthday

*This could have happened in late 20XR. It all depends on how exact "5 years" ago was.

Next Year

January 20XT ==== 4 years ago

Shin-Ae has her 13th birthday

Alyssa has her 14th birthday

Min-Hyuk graduates middle school and starts high schools

Meg has her 20th birthday

Kousuke has his 20th birthday

Nol has his 15th birthday

For the past 2 years Nol has had no friends (ever since he got out of the mental facility) and Kousuke has been acting like his "guardian" (during which Kousuke has been constantly badmouthing Nol to everyone)

Next Year

January 20XU ==== 3 years ago

Shinae graduates Middle School

Shinae, Dieter and Soushi have their 14th birthday

Alyssa has her 15th birthday

Nol and Dieter meet while running during "summer before year 1 of high school"

Dieter, Shinae, Soushi and Nol (and the rest) start high school

Nol starts trying to befriend Soushi*

During a very rainy period Nol tries to meet his mom after 5 years of not seeing her*

Kousuke talks to Soushi*

Nol becomes friends with Dieter and Soushi*

Nol hangs out with Dieter and shortly after Soushi joins the group.*

Kousuke takes a break from babysitting Nol*

Nol, Dieter and Soushi meet Alyssa*

Nol and Alyssa start dating*

Alyssa starts the path of becoming a Kpop idol*

Kousuke and his college friends have the fallout**

Meg meets Kousuke*

Meg has her 21st birthday

Kousuke has his 21st birthday

Nol has his 16th birthday

(*All these events need to happen in that order, the placement on the timeline in relation with the other events depend on when Nessa's birthday was or when exactly Nol tried to "see" his mom)

(**I've decided to assume Hansuke doesn't really remember the exact facts of how, what and when Kousuke lost his college friends since he was in a different college, he would only occationally tag along and he was very busy with his doctor exams at the time)

Note: Whatever happened with Kousuke's friends, the fallout could perfectly have dragged throughout a couple of weeks/months. It doesn't necesarily need to have happened in a one day event.

Pretty eventful year

Next Year

January 20XV ==== 2 years ago

Kousuke graduates from his master's degree at 21 years old*

Dieter and Soushi have their 15th birthday

Alyssa has her 16th birthday

Kousuke has his 22nd birthday

Nol has his 17th birthday

(*I've decided to take Meg's flashback gossip about Kousuke with a grain of salt. This could have happened at the end of year 20XU instead of the beginning of this year.)

Next Year

January 20XW ==== Last year

In March a SA investigation in prestigious prep school (the one where Kim Sang-Chul is the Student Council President) gets launch

Min-Hyuk graduates high school

Kousuke has his 23rd birthday

Nol has his 18th birthday

Next Year

January 20XX ==== this year

Min-Hyuk goes to USA for college

Dieter, Soushi, Shin-Ae have their 17th birthday

Alyssa has her 18th birthday

In July the SA investigation in the prestigious preschool ends with nothing found and nothing done.

Dieter confesses to Shin-Ae

Saturday September 17th is the party where Shin-Ae meets the brothers

Thursday November 8th: Kousuke has his 24th birthday

Between Friday 9th and Saturday November 10th Shin-Ae's dad goes into a coma

Wednesday November 14th is the Gala. (That same night Shin-Ae was supposed to get evicted)

December 1st Min-Hyuk returns

Monday December 16th Nol has his trial (and he's sentenced for 120 days starting December 22nd)

Tuesday December 17th: Shin-Ae and Nol meet in the rain, Nol blocks everyone.

Saturday December 21st: Hirahara's Chirstmas party, Min-Hyuk's welcome home party, Nol turns 19 year's old

Sunday December 22nd: Nol is at the hospital (his sentence is pushed to start December 25th)

Personal Thoughts

This timeline broke my brain more times than I can remember. Whenever I thought I was close to being done with it I would remember something new or come across new information that would force me to rethink almost everything.

When I first started writing this timeline it was only going to be 2 parts, the evidence with the explanation and the timeline layout, but it kept getting bigger and bigger. It was supposed to be released the first week of October. We are in November. I've been writing this for 2 months.

I almost wrote this timeline in a manner that I would drag you all along through the same path of insanity that I went through but I decided against it not because I felt compassion for you all but because I plan to come back to these posts in the future for when I want to refresh my memory and I didn't want future me to go through that confusion again. I've suffered enough.

Shout out to my friend who lend me her DMs whenever I was going crazy and let me rant myself into sanity every time.

Conclusion

The timeline is not perfect, specially the events that happen between 20XS (5 years ago) and 20XV (2 years ago), but I'm satisfied with how it turned out considering the information we have so far.

Please don't take this timeline as the one that rules them all. If you have a suggestion on the order of events or theories on what could have happened I would more than love to read about them, so please do share your thoughts!

--------

This is part 4 of 4. In case you missed it, go read the previous parts:

Part 1: The Evidence Part 1

Part 2: The Evidence Part 2

Part 3: Math and connecting the dots

[thickysoup]

My Comfort Characters (MultiFandom) <3

Anime:

Izuku Midoriya (MHA)

Denki Kaminari (MHA)

Mina Ashido (MHA)

Giyu Tomioka (KNY)

Yuji Itadori (JJK)

Nobara Kugisaki (JJK)

Toge Inumaki (JJK)

Killua Zoldyck (HxH)

Froger Family (Spy x Family)

Yatora Yaguchi (Blue Period)

Rika Honjo (High Rise Invasion)

Rin Okumura (Blue Exorcist)

Webtoons:

Kim Dokja (ORV)

Lee Gilyoung (ORV)

Seong Taehoon (Viral Hit)

Seong Johan (Lookism)

Jay Hong (Lookism)

Mary Kim (Lookism)

Kouji (Lookism)

Dae (Eaternal Nocturnal)

Sejin Ju (Neon Revenge)

Suchan Jang (Jungle Juice)

Huijin Park (Jungle Juice)

Lee Junhyeong (Jungle Juice)

Yulai Tokarev (AntiSTALKER)

Jaha Lee (Return of the Mad Demon)

Kayden Break (Eleceed)

Jiyoung Yoo (Eleceed)

Amon (My Gently Raised Beast)

Hanho (Heavenly Roommates)

Soo Lee (Swimming Lessons for a Mermaid)

Lumine & Kody (LUMINE)

Chiko Dyer (Unlovable Replacement)

Kreyul Arroyal (Death: Rescheduled)

Zelan Lycas (Freaking Romance)

Movies/Shows:

Baymax (BH6)

Hiro Hamada (BH6)

Tadashi Hamada (BH6)

Onceler (The Lorax)

Bolt

Nick Wilde (Zootopia)

Vanellope Van Schweetz (Wreck-It-Ralph)

Megara (Hercules)

Chat Noir (Miraculous Ladybug)

Ice, Panda, & Grizzly Bear (We Bare Bears)

Nom Nom (We Bare Bears)

K-dramas:

Kim Hae-Il (The Fiery Priest)

Seo Sung-ah (The Fiery Priest)

Vincenzo Cassano (Vincenzo)

K (Bad & Crazy)

Hong Du-sik (Hometown Cha Cha Cha)

Seo In-guk (Shopaholic Louis)

Moo Hyul (Six Flying Dragons)

Ha Ram (Lovers of the Red Sky)

Honestly, at this point, this is a mashup of my comfort characters and characters that I simp for/fav characters ㅠㅠ I feel like I'm missing some characters but my brain is refusing to think, so that's all for now.

If you read through all of that, I love you <33

[uchiha-7thsingularity]

Mystic Messenger

Used to play mystic messenger. Till I lost my progress and wasted my time.

I did admire zen and jumin for their work effort. And jumin lovely cat. I tried to romance jumin but then got yoo sung.

Don't get me wrong I did feel compassion for his character and tried to comfort him as a friend. Then he obsessed MC as a replacement for RIKA (didn't like her) and everything went downhill.

Did like Jae hee and zen moments which were awkward and wholesome.

V was barely there. :/

Ray (saeran) needed therapy and to get away from rika.

707 became a loyal boy.

And I might go more into my personal experience with this game. But this mainly a shitpost.

only person I felt comfortable texting.

[aromanticchair]

[firespawn]

Shin-Ae, Maya, and Rika Aesthetic

This is a mood-board aesthetic I made for Shin-Ae, Maya, and Rika

[yourwaifuisshit-oftheday]

The Shit Waifu of the Day Is:

Rika Lau from I Love Yoo

[manhwablog]

I Love Yoo Icons from episodes 100 - 102

Like/Reblog = ♡

[vekitta]

i have been developing a crush on rika from i love yoo since i saw her but i came out of the closet with the hospital sleepover scene and she falling asleep on shin-ae like ughhhhhhhhhhhh

[ilyhumorfest]

[yeonggisbitch]

I love yoo characters as meme shit posts I found on Pinterest: part 3

Alyssa:

Meg:

Shin-ae:

Sang-chul:

Rika:

[trashlie]

You are SOOOO right about the unspoken feelings and yearning and the pining -- This is an essential stage, we cannot skip it!!!! Nol needs to marinate in his feelings and thoughts and wants and doubts and desires a little more. Sorry but it needs to happen, he hasn't been pathetic enough yet!! I guess people thought if Nol tells Shin-ae how she feels, it'll all click for her immediately, she'll reciprocate his feelings on the spot, and they'll live happily ever after. The end. But it's so much more complicated. She isn't ready. Nol is right. She needs to leave. She needs some rest and then time and space to calmly reflect on it all. Poisonheart said Shin-ae sometimes needs things spelled out for her, and maybe this applies here as well. But it's still not Nol's place to tell her. Perhaps she'll talk to Min-hyuk or Dieter, personally I'd love it if she spoke with a female character: Rika, Maya, or potentially Ms Park. It simply feels like a conversation that should happen with a woman (and I would love for her to bond with the female characters more). Maybe the "because you love him" will make a comeback and tie it all together, and the narrative will give her this neat little package labeled "WHY YOU CARE" that she gets to unpack. But either way I NEED Shin-ae to go through it all slowly, step by step. I need all those moments with Nol to haunt her, those feelings she tries to deny to not give her rest until she understands what it all really means. What she feels and why she feels it and oh no oh fuck this cannot be happening what am I gonna do now? Does he also like me like that? What if he doesn't? She is the MC this is important, give it to us we need it!!!!!

And RIGHT the realization IS scary and overwhelming! Especially when the stakes are so high! Dieter's confession is like a safety net for her. She knows that if she at some point falls for him and decides to date him, he will be there with open arms. No risks taken. It'd be so easy, so convenient, so safe. With Nol, however, she doesn't have that kind of safety. Even worse, he unintentionally sends her mixed signals, he keeps slipping through her fingers -- they have these intense moments, then he puts up his walls and pushes her away again, and she doesn't get why. He still calls her "Yoo" and won't even let her say his real name!! Is she ready for this? He will be gone in three days AND there is all the stuff with the Hiraharas and his past and so much more she doesn't know yet. It's a lot (and he knows this). Which means she can NOT be wishy-washy about it. In a way, she has already made up her mind when he decided to fight for their friendship. But this is different, this is new territory -- She needs to choose him again, consciously, fully aware of what it means! And THEN she can face him again, with an answer. It's just SCREECHES we're in for such a ride why would anyone want to skip this????

By the way you describing Dieter's POV really got to me. "because he sees the things Shinae doesn't know how to identify" THIS THOUGH. Listen. Shin-ae is so stuck in her own POV -- but if she could switch her perspective from actor to observer, she would see it for what it is and immediately get why this is not "friends". Now I also have this one fear that Shin-ae will chase after Dieter to "fix" this, and, still in her denial, blurt out something like "what makes you even think there's something between me and Yeong-gi" and hoo boy ouch yikes where would he even start.....

We are gathered here together, unified by our common need to watch a man be TOTALLY PATHETIC about the girl he has feelings for, unified by our most ardent desires to watch him bask and wallow in a bath of regret and want and desire, united in our need to watch Shinae go through the 5 stages of realizing you're in love with one of your most important friends lfkjakjfakfjaflkjafkafjaf But YEAH YEAH that's it!!!! THIS is the stuff that makes romance plots so good and worthy. Like, you ship because you want to see them together, want to shove them in each others' spaces yeah but like the most crucial part to me is watching them BE A MESS about each other. Nol in agony - because Shinae can't see it because he LITERALLY PUT THE MOVES ON HER and she's just like :)? because she denies there being anything and what if he's wrong what if she DOESN'T feel the way he thinks she does what if it's him all alone out on this limb agony because he keeps pushing her away and he doesn't know when and how to stop fighting and she's fighting for him to show himself and he can't bare himself but he's also fighting for her to understand why he matters so much to her and to use the words anD AKLFAFKAFJKAFJKJAFJKAFKJAFJA ROARS

But YES YES YES I would LOVE to see her go to Rika and Maya about it. I don't know if she would, just because I don't know if she'd feel like it's something she needs to (or should) talk out BUT. I still want it! I want her to bond with them and open up to them! There's that whole thing about how she didn't want to be a burden and it upset Maya that she never reached out or asked for help and instead relied on strangers so it would be SO satisfying for Shinae to, embarrassed shy flustered go to them. Actually, no, now that I'm thinking about it, I think it could be a by product? Like she'd go to them talking about Dieter because maybe an outsider view will give her the perspective will convince her what she's telling herself (lying about) that yeah it sounds like Dieter just needs sleep. But to talk about Dieter she has to address what he oversaw and imagining her just.... venting at them about how she doesn't get it, what does Yeonggi/Nol even MEAN? It's not like they did anything weird or secret! And in that way she tends to, just go off on the tangent, the snowball is rolling down the hill and it can't be stopped. She's talking about how it was just a dance that doesn't mean anything it's not weird to goof around finger dancing is totally normal and Rika and Maya are just.... looking at each other. ALSO IT WOULD BE SO GOOD because Maya was always trying to set Shinae up with people and saddle her with someone else lmao but for her to be showing actual concern about a boy, actual FEELINGS, for her to start off talking about Dieter but end up venting about Nol and so consumed with how annoyed she is with him and how much she cares about him and what does he mean convince me? how is friendship not enough to care about him what does he even WANT FROM ME? and the thought of Maya telling her "you LIKE this guy!" and Shinae recoiling because NO! YOU ALWAYS WANT TO SHOVE ME OFF ON PEOPLE but Rika isn't denying it either, Rika who always calls Maya off when she's being too pushy, Rika who is more level headed

GOD.

I want Shinae to figure it out on her own but if it does have to be spelled out for her, that would be SUCH a fun way for it to play out lmao just like.... Maya shocked that Shinae ACTUALLY likes someone, Shinae unable to even take her seriously because she's Always Doing This, but Rika averting her gaze and chewing her lip thoughtfully aljafkafkjafj AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Shinae just like no, no way you don't understand of course i don't of course i can't why would i? But THE FLUSTERS THE INTENSITY OF HIS GAZE THE THINGS HE MAKES HER FEEL THE WAY HER HEART RACED IN THE DARK WHEN HE GOT SO CLOSE TO HER SHE CAN'T HOLD HIS GAZE THAT SMILE /THAT SMILE/ WHEN HE WAS HUGGING THE BOYS AND HE SMILED OVER AT HER

scuttling up the walls yodeling ALFJAKFJAFKJAFKAJFLAFKAFJAF

We've been so pointedly kept outside of Shinae's mind all this time - which is so clever to deny us the gears turning in her head because the gears are NOT turning. She's exhausted, she's tired, she's been through hell, the sheer tensions of the night have drained her. I'm right there with @poisonheart too on Shinae needing to step away, eat some food, get some sleep - we keep talking about Shinae having the kind of dream that would make her face her feelings lmao something more direct than her own thoughts can be (the unhinged stalkyoo fans can has a dream kiss as a treat?) that makes her wake up and go "fuck what was that?!" but I am SO looking forward to when we DO get to see her thoughts, when we get to watch her work through it, agonize and fight through it. Frustrated because she doesn't get it, what does he mean how is "because we're friends" not good enough?! In fact, poison reblogged one of the other asks and her response is just SO good about how Shinae keeps trying to fit Nol into a Minhyuk-sized box that Nol just does NOT fit. And that's where Shinae keeps going in circles - unable to get to the real reason unable to see what Dieter saw. If I were better with words or more eloquent I'd say that there's something so fantastically similar about how Nol wore that blindfold deliberately and here is Shinae, unable to see Nol for what he is and instead try to see him through a best friend lens. She's so blind to it!

Also YES I love the dilemma of "what does this MEAN?" and the "DOES HE FEEL THE SAME WAY?" and remembering the way he looks at her and the way they interacted when they thought everyone was asleep, the way he's insistent that Dieter saw something that hurt him and how indirectly it's his way of saying it meant something to him AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH the shyness because how do you go see him after that?! how do you look at him talk to him when you now have this extra awareness when you realize it wasn't all the ramen you eat that's just your heart getting giddy about him aaaAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

pls I need to watch her unpack it and then throw it all around and then try to pack it all again and realize that it's all out of the bag it's never going back in!!!!!

I also kind of have that fear/expectation about Shinae and Dieter - it just.... feels like her, right? To be so bull-headed that she ignores Nol because he doesn't know what he's talking about why is he making such a big deal just so determined to fix t even though as readers we know it will absolutely!!!! make it worse! Especially because HE KNOWS WHAT HE SAW!!!!! She can blurt that out all she wants but he can call her out on her bluff, tell her that's not what he saw. Ngl a part of me WANTS it to happen because the narrative impact would be so delicious! Dieter, the character who always keeps it together who always comforts people who sees things but holds his tongue breaking and snapping and his hurt seeping out a little because what does Shinae take him for? For her to tell him it means nothing would hurt even more because he knows better. Even if she can't see it in that moment even if she hasn't grasped it in that moment he knows and for her to pretend otherwise hurts AND is insulting.

Also in that vein, for Dieter, it's not even that he oversaw that tender intimacy, the way they laughed together, the way Nol's gazes would fluster her. The dance? The dance with all her bright radiant joy having so much fun, laughing after such a harrowing night but the HURT that followed! That whole painful conversation of Nol pushing her away and how much it hurts her and how much she wants to see him for him to open up and he can't and why that hurts her so much that she left and Nol, standing there all alone taking off the headband admitting he doesn't want her to see him like this. It's not just the tenderness he saw - it's how strong those feelings are, the extent to which it affects both of them. It's not that Nol pushed her away for fun - Dieter could see that Nol was disappointed he actually drove her away, hurt that he managed to make himself hurt her again OH THE AGONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

For Shinae to try to insist that she doesn't like Yeonggi like that when Dieter already knows. When he can see what Shina means to Nol - and what he means to her. Why it hurts her so much. The day he and Soushi found her crying in the rain, why she was so torn up. The "Because you love him" just hanging like a banner between them, still flapping in the wind. He has seen how much she's been torn up over him this whole time.

This?

This is just overkill.

But yeah I have this fear/worry/expectation that she may try to chase after Dieter - because in her head that's the easy fix that one is much better to deal with. Nol being hot and cold? That's typical. Fix this first and then she can focus on the bigger issue but yes only making it a more painful mess ;____________;

In a way, she has already made up her mind when he decided to fight for their friendship. But this is different, this is new territory -- She needs to choose him again, consciously, fully aware of what it means! And THEN she can face him again, with an answer.

GOD I AM HOWLING I AM BARKING UP A TREE I'M CLIMBING THE WALLS AND SWINGING FROM THE RAFTERS YES YES YES /YESSSSSS/

Shinae deciding that no matter what, she'll be persistent like him, she'll find a new way to reach him, she won't give up and she'll keep fighting for him because that's how important he is was such a resolute choice grounded in her feelings and her wants. Wanting him to show himself!!! Wanting to see what he hides from everyone. Wanting him to be true with her, to be honest and real. What Shinae wants is so much deeper than merely friendship, so much deeper than just caring about a person. She wants all of him, every ugly part of him every vulnerable part of him everything that makes him who he is. She wants to be privy to all of it, and she doesn't see it!!!!! That she is acting on that love on those feelings on that need for ALL of him. GOD. But also yes, how he's so hot and cold and slips through her fingers and it confuses her!!!! He's so volatile, the stakes ARE so high! It's not just the danger by association, it's the way he hurts her when he doesn't want to/like it. It's the way he can't be as open and real and honest as she wants. But you are right, she has to choose him again, CONSCIOUSLY, knowing what it entails. GOD THAT WILL BE SO GOOD SOOOOO SATISFYING ;_____; AAAAAAHHHHHHH to make that choice knowing the stakes, knowing the feelings. To choose him.

Anon I am going to perish

[twynte]

They’re the same image

[tsukiiro]

Everyone betting on who will join Shin-ae on the rooftop in the Midseason Recap’s ending but what if it’s just a metaphor? What if the one joining her are us - the readers?

[spikytyphoon]

It was supposed to be a crack ship.

It was supposed to be a crack ship.

It was supposed to be a crack ship.