#rly nervous to post this one pls be nice </3

[cornfarm]

cease and desist - choosing beggars

- NEXT PART

saiki kusuo x reader

word count: 1.6k

synopsis: with rumors of saiki and teruhashi’s “secret relationship” spreading at lightning speed, saiki resorts to asking you for help. being tasked with pretend dating with the end goal of getting teruhashi off saiki’s back, things take a turn for the worse... or perhaps for the better?

cw: n/a

genre: fluff, general drama

reader is gender neutral!

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WAHEY babes wake up new cornfarm fic just dropped! because this is a series, i might rearrange stuff on my masterlist... pls tell me if it looks okay!

i’ve been proofreading this again and again to make sure it’s all good and in character! this is my first multi-chapter fic project. queen’s gambit is one of the parts... i mentioned it in the notes of that fic. 

i’m a huge fan of the “fake dating” prompt, especially because saiki tries to take this path multiple times in the anime, i think it’s pretty canon that this is something he’d do! this fic will be msotly from saiki’s pov but the later parts will follow the reader a bit closer me thinks

anyways, i hope that you enjoy this one, there will be 5 parts in total!  can you tell i don’t actually like using “Y/N”? I try to omit a need to say it as much as i can... tbh it kinda breaks the emersion, but i don’t really have a choice!

i hope it’s not too boring with all the little descriptions, i like setting the scene and describing actions, especially when they are as simple as writing a letter. i do try to keep it engaging though^^ pls let me know if it’s too tiring;;

enjoy! 

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“I need to ask a favor of you.”

“Yeah, sure, what’s up?”

“I need you to pretend to go out with me.”

Okay, even Saiki was stunned that he was asking such an egregious task of you, but he didn’t expect you to look so bewildered. He anticipated a look of amusement, but you just looked stunned, which surprised him. He was able to stun you, someone so talkative into total jaw-dropped silence.

“Pardon?”

“Pretend that we’re dating. Romantically.”

“No, I heard you, but why?”

Good question. He’s glad he asked you after school. It was your turn to clean so he offered to help in place of your other classmate. After tidying up the desks, you had sat down, sighing about how tired you were, how your back hurt, how much homework you have to do, and you how still have to catch up on some drama you were watching-

Not the point. He pulls up a chair at your desk and sits down.

“It’s about Teruhashi.” He begins. You lean in, intrigued by whatever he’s about to tell you.

“To make a long story shorter, we went on this,” Saiki pauses, “pseudo-date, if you would call it that. I wouldn’t- I don’t like her, but I kinda had to go on it,” you nod, “there are rumors going around school. Usually that wouldn’t be a problem for me, but Teruhashi is involved so everybody is tuned in,” he pauses again, reminding himself that you don’t know about his powers.

“There are photos. Lots of them, and a lot of them are edited to antagonize me. People have been stalking me home, and I usually would be able to handle it myself, but it’s different this time.”

“Because of the pictures?”

“Yes.”

You frown. Good to know you understand.

Again, this usually wouldn’t be a problem, he could just wipe everyone's memory, but that would pose even more potential problems. Basically every single person in the school would fabricate their own version of the events, and he couldn’t do anything about the pictures, they had been distributed mobily so they have been, and would be redistributed. If it was a few people, he wouldn’t be asking you, but with people beginning to stalk him home, he decided he needed to act.

“Why me, though?”

“You’re the only one I could ask. Don’t get the wrong impression, I don’t like you, but you are, rationally, the only, and best person I could ask.”

“That’s fine, but what are you asking of me to do?”

Saiki moves his chair a bit closer.

Luckily, you were compliant. You had both clarified to each other that there were no real feelings between you, and that you’d stage a confession, a first date, and then a breakup a bit later after the tides settle. The boundaries were set in place: No kissing, physical touch is fine as long as it’s being done performatively, and most importantly, nobody is allowed in on the secret.

Saiki went home that night feeling a bit better about his situation.

You were a bit troubled, and he had sensed it from you. Peering into your mind, reading a bit of your own internal dialogue, he supposed that he’d be stressed too if a friend was asking so much of him. He reassured you that he wasn’t really looking forward to it per se, more so looking forward to not having people follow him home everyday, and to be finally left alone at school again.

“What if it just complicates things more? People will see us together, think we’re dating, and then wonder what happened with Teruhashi! You’ll look like the villain, you’ll probably get harassed more.”

Saiki had also thought about this. He came up with a solution, however. If he can’t exactly erase Teruhashi out of the picture, he instead will use his hypnosis ability to get people to perceive the photos from his “date” with Teruhashi, as being photos with you instead. That seemed more reliable, and will totally remove Teruhashi from the picture altogether.

Of course he couldn’t explain this to you, so he simply said: “I have a plan to deal with that.”

You were still frowning, flashing a small smile, he finished, “trust me.”

Softening at that, you nodded.

If he had used his hypnosis to get everyone to perceive the pictures with Teruhashi as pictures with you, he’d be doing it without your consent, and that wouldn’t be right of him. That would hurt your friendship. It also wouldn’t get rid of the primary issue being Teruhashi’s persistence. He just wanted to be left alone.

It seemed like a bulletproof plan to him.

The walk home was peaceful. Walking together with your footsteps synced, the sun setting in the sky cast an orange overcast over the concrete streets. Saiki’s mother invited you in, you poked your head in to say hello before continuing home yourself. She begs you to stay for dinner, but you insist on leaving, promising to come back in the following days.

Saiki felt hopeful. It was the first time in his life he felt truly out of control, and he didn’t like it. His mother asked why he looked so happy, and he quickly deadpanned.

It was 9pm. He had just finished watching the latest episode of a popular soap opera. He gets a phone call, it’s from you.

He answers it to be met with you sobbing on the other side of the line. Blubbering out his name, you start recalling the episode.

“And they,” you stutter, “and they confessed to each other, and it was,” more wails and cries, “so cute! They loved each other from the beginning,” he hears you sniffling and coughing, “but they didn’t realize it!” More crying. He usually would be annoyed at how cathartic you were, but it was amusing to listen to. He had just watched the same episode: the main characters had been dancing around each other for nearly a whole season and they finally confessed. He felt a bit brighter after their confession, but he didn’t know something like that could evoke such intensity from someone.

“You saw it, right?” You sniff again.

“Yes, I did, don’t worry.” Even if he hadn’t watched it he would have known what happened.

“You don’t even seem upset though!”

Now this surprised him, “upset? Aren’t love confessions happy events?”

“Well yeah, they are, but watching them pine for each other was so much fun,” you trail off into tears again, “and I’m so happy for them.”

“Then why would I be upset?” he’s a bit confused, but you’re nearly as entertaining as the show.

You laugh, the waterworks finally drying up a bit. Conversing, you talk about the characters, the cinematography, the themes, and the confession scene itself. Saiki enjoyed himself, being able to share the same interests with someone, and have them be just as invested in it was much more pleasant than he thought.

You tell him you have to make dinner because you haven’t eaten yet. He scolds you for not letting his parents feed you. After putting up the call, he starts his homework.

You told him you’d be going to bed early after you eat, he hopes you do.

Saiki, on the other hand, decides to stay up planning.

He takes out a clean sheet of A4 paper and a thin black pen. He pops the cap off and begins.

“Dear Y/N,

There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. I’d like to meet you after school. Please meet me on the rooftop. I’ll be waiting.

Yours,

Saiki Kusuo”

Is this okay? He’s never liked anyone before, and the love letters his friends have gotten have been unorthodox at best. He had been considering asking Aiura for help, but even with her, letting her in on the situation might be a bad idea. He curses to himself; If the letter is anything, it’s in character. Maybe its blunt and apathetic tone is a good thing.

He feels a bit embarrassed reading it back.

He carefully sections it off into thirds, folding the paper neatly into a thin rectangle.

Saiki glances around his room for an envelope. Shit, he doesn’t have any, but he’s positive his parents keep a small box of stationary around somewhere. He decides to take a look.

He flickers between cabinets, looking for envelopes. He finally finds a small box of them. He’s glad they went to bed, he wouldn’t want them prying why he was writing a letter. Many were plain and white, but a good handful were decorative, probably ones his mom used for corresponding with friends and family. He takes a plain white one.

Carefully sliding the note into the envelope, he licks it shut. It looks so plain and boring. Fine, he’ll make it a little bit decorative.

Digging through the box, he pulls out a small plastic bag with envelope seals. Thumbing through them, he takes one that’s in the shape of a red heart. God, he’s so grossed out. He sticks it onto where the envelope is closed shut, writes your name on the front, and then shoves it in the bottom of his bag.

If this is what it took to get people off his back, then he didn’t mind putting in the work, he just wishes confessing wasn’t so tacky and emotional. For a few moments tomorrow, he will be the center of attention. If only he could find a use for his powers, this mess would be resolved by now. Is this what it’s like for ordinary people? He dozes off wondering.

[ectolemonades]

Fic Writer Review

@floralflowerpower tagged me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Four!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

6,091

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Only Danny Phantom on ao3 at least, I will not reveal what past fandoms I have written fic for back in my deviantart days

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Okay considering I only have four fics I'm just gonna put them in order of kudos jwndflke

Local Barista Danny Fenton

Let's Make a Deal

What A Stupid Child

The singular prompt I managed to do for Going Angst Week

5. Which of your fic do you want more attention for?

Uhh tbh maybe Let's Make a Deal or the Going Angst Week prompt I did? LMaD was the first phic I ever wrote based on louroalka's demon au and honestly only want it to get more attention because that au is INCREDIBLE, the Going Angst Week one I'm just proud of how I wrote it even though it's really short haha

I'm really grateful for any attention my fics get tho! I know none of my fics are huge deals or anything, but I can't put into words how happy it makes me that so many people enjoyed my fic based on my Barista Danny AU!

6. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I always try to! I have a couple sitting in my inbox rn just because I'm super forgetful, but I want people to know that I'm acknowledging them and the fact that they decided to read/interact w my work means a lot to me

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Local Barista Danny Fenton because they were out of oat milk 😔✊🏼

8. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you’ve written?

I do! Back in the day The Bestie tumblr user Kateh @kirinda-ondo and I wrote some BONKERS and absolutely hilarious crossovers of stuff we were into, and we haven't really written anything lately (we kinda started plotting a rly interesting crossover tho) we have v silly conversations and crossover our favs

Not a fic tho but I did cross He-Man and DP in a doodle for Kateh's birthday yesterday because Orko and Danny would absolutely be besties and u can't change my mind

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not yet and pls be nice to me I am sensitive

10. Do you write smut? if so what kind?

I don't

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I haven't but anyone is more than welcome to!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Definitely back in the day w Kateh

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Me x Actually Allowing People To Read My Writing

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I started writing a lightly angsty ghost hunger fic at one point, I got writer's block right around when I was trying to wrap it up and edit it and tbh just haven't gotten back to it and idk if I will

I got bold w it and threw in Clockwork and Jazz and I think I gave myself anxiety on writing them in-character lmao

Love reading ghost hunger au just maybe not writing it idk

15. What are your writing strengths?

Active voice and I've been told I'm pretty good with "show, don't tell" and capturing emotions

Definitely active voice though, as a journalist that shit is drilled into my head and when I see passive voice an alarm sounds in my head even though I do not personally give that much of a shit

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Tenses, and the actually sharing it with people part gives me so much anxiety

In my creative writing class when I had to share my fiction piece (which I posted to my main blog if anyone wants to read!), I was messaging Kateh throughout my entire class/critique because I was so nervous I was on the verge of tears lmao

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's fantastic when it adds to the character or is important in some way! I feel there should definitely be some sort of research done to be sure things are being used correctly as well

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I didn't realize this question was coming up I guess I'll reveal now it was Sonic the Hedgehog back in my dA days

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Probably Local Barista Danny Fenton, I love telling funny work stories and it seems to have made people who read it happy!

20. What fic are you most proud of?

I really can't pick a fav because I'm really really proud of all my fics!

--

Tagging @amabsis and @omegasmileyface but y'all don't have to do it if you don't want to!!

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[jeongjaehyuns]

ok since kellie posted her fancam i thought i’d finally stop being lazy and do the same too :’)

i mentioned this a little bit before but earlier this month, i was lucky enough to get tickets to see nct 127 at the apple music event in la and was able to see them perform! this was by far one of the most amazing and intimate experiences i’ve ever been able to be apart of and being able to see nct 127 doing what they do best together is something i’m going to cherish in my heart for a very long time! here is the link to the full playlist of all their performances!! 

underneath the cut will be a much more detailed and in depth account of everything that happened at the event if anyone is interested in reading more about it! ♡

ok hello if there are people who actually decided to keep reading thank u so much and buckle up bc u are in for a riiiiiiiiiide (ridin on that VAAaaaaAAAAan, KEEP dRIVINGGGggGGG) ok anyways! HERE WE GO!

[ ! ] btw the first part is just me talking about everything that happened before the concert so pls feel free to just skip to the last paragraph instead LOL

so when news came out that nct 127 was going to be coming back to the u.s. and perform on jimmy kimmel and that tickets were FREE, my friends and i hi kellie, hi tracey all tried to get some tickets for both the taping and the concert and was able to make it on the waitlist! i don’t live in california but both of my friends do so i told them that if any of us got confirmed tickets, i’d be flying over there for the weekend to attend the show! it’s kind of all a blur now bc the only thing i can remember within that week was stressing out so hard over tickets because the way the whole thing was set up was just SO STRESSFUL because despite being on the waitlist, there is no 100% guarantee that you’d get tickets and they start giving out tickets to people from within a week before the taping to the day of the actual event so really, it was just one massive waiting game. but a week went by and none of us saw any signs of getting tickets and flight ticket prices kept fluctuating for me so i just went ahead and booked my flight anyways without a confirmed ticket pls don’t ever do this omfg please please PLEASE don’t ever do this!!! and PRAYED that one of us would be able to get tickets ;; a few days went by and then nct kept releasing more news and how they’d be performing at mickey mouse’s 90th birthday celebration so tickets for that were also available too and once again, we made it on the waitlist!!! and played not one but now two (2) waiting games!!!! :-)))

honestly i rly don’t remember much that happened during this small time frame bc i was so stressed and anxious over these tickets that it rly took a toll on me physically and mentally LOL but yeah so on wednesday the 3rd, nct 127 posted on their instagram about how they’d be having a special performance partnered with apple music and i was about to start my math exam but the moment i read their post, i ran to the bathroom faster than i’ve ever ran before and of course, i requested tickets and made it on the waitlist again!!!! SO NOW IN TOTAL, IT WAS NOT ONE, BUT THREE (3) WAITING GAMES!!! GAMES THAT I WAS STARTING TO GET SICK OF PLAYING!!! anyways yeah so basically my friends and i made it onto all 3 waiting lists and at this point we really just wanted to be able to make it to at least one event ;;;

fast forward to friday, aka 1 day before mickey mouse and 3 days before kimmel and apple music and also the day my flight leaves for la!!! my friends and i all got a big fat no from mickey mouse saying they wouldn’t be able to accommodate our ticket requests bc they were full so we we re like ok!!! whatevs!!! we still have kimmel and apple to try for!!! so here i am… at the airport… getting ready to leave with no!!! confirmed!!! ticket!!! my flight was quite early in the morning so i was at the airport overnight and it was like around 11:30pm when i was doing homework and i got a notification on my phone… thinking it was just some random notification when in reality, I GOT MY CONFIRMED TICKET FOR THE APPLE MUSIC EVENT :’) it’s a blur to me bc it happened so fast and so suddenly but all i remember was that my jaw literally dropped for the longest time and my hands were shaking so badly bc i cOULDN’T BELIEVE IT??? i wasn’t able to sleep that entire night nor was i able to sleep on the plane from all the adrenaline so that saturday really was an interesting day for me LOL anywho i made it to la safe and sound and spent saturday and sunday hanging out with my friends while we prepared for monday :’)

ok so then despite getting tickets, we had no idea where the location of this event was going to be bc 1iota (the event organizer) wasn’t going to release the information until 10am monday morning and we were planning on waiting in line like early early to get a good spot so we had to be ready and out of the house by 9am!!! bUT WAIT!!! 9am was also when the english version of the mv was going to be released so me and kellie were both !!! bc we wanted to gif the mv so bad!!! so now at this point it’s like 7am and we’re all like half awake trying frantically to get ready and i’m over here trying to stream nct on the radio and listen to the world release of regular eng ver and then somewhere in between all of this, both kellie and tracey ended up getting their emails for confirmed tickets too??? so yeah at this point all three of us are running around like crazy ppl bc we weren’t expecting all of us to go but now all 3 of us get to go!!! so yeah i brought my laptop with me and tried to gif in the car but the connection from my hotspot was so slow so i just sat and cried instead :-) ALSO!!! remember how information about the location was supposed to be released at 10am? yeah well they changed it on us again!!! they delayed it to 2pm so at this point me and kellie rly wanted to d*e bc we did all of that rushing for nothing omfg but fast forward to 2pm, they released the information for the location and since we were already in the hollywood area we went there right away so when we lined up, we were like number 10 in line!!! :D

i wasn’t able to eat at all that entire day just bc i was so stressed and so nervous from everything that the hunger didn’t hit me til like 20 mins before the actual event omg ;;;; i remember saying “omg i’m so hungry” and the girl beside me was like “well sweetie, you’re about to be fed real good rn” and i just died laughing oh my god but yeah i had a priority ticket so i was let in around 7:30pm-ish and the event started at 8! i got barricade again just like last time at kcon ny, my view was reeeeeeally good!! ! i would say even better than kcon’s even tho i was front and center for kcon ;;; back when we were in line, the event organizers kept asking us how we were doing and each time i would tell them that i was super nervous and they’d ask why and i would explain that i just get super nervous before seeing nct omg it’s really true tho idk what it is but i just feel so QUEASY before seeing them… like the fact that you go from seeing them from your screen to seeing them in front of you is just a very STRANGE FEELING FOR ME OK but they kept repeating how we were all going to have a good time and that the space inside was super small so it’s going to be nice and intimate with them and they said how no matter what spot you get, you’re still going to be super close to them… one of the staff members was like “you’re going to be so close to them they’re going to sweat on you” AND GOD THIS JUST MADE ME EVEN MORE NERVOUS KASDJKSAJDKAJDKA

OK ANYWAYS ENOUGH OF THAT, ONTO THE ACTUAL CONCERT! when we got in, the event was actually on a rooftop and so the scenery behind the stage was just soooooo pretty and then they had a playlist of their songs playing in the bg and it was just really nice to listen and enjoy while we waited for them to come out :’) the members kept hiding behind this door and some of them started waving and they were all teasing us so hard bc the moment we saw someone there, we would all start screaming and they just wouldn’t stop :’) then they finally played the apple music documentary video for us and i just remember all of us screaming a lot LOL but then the lights went off again and then we all watched them walk onto the stage one by one and oh my GOD the wait for them to finally start just felt like forever and then next thing i know, the sirens went off and all i hear is “GET IT LIFTED” and then firetruck started omg i was trying to get jaehyun’s attention but then mr. nakamoto yuta… YUTA… looked over on our side and me and him made eye contact for a good solid 3 seconds and i just about lost my shit omg… HE IS SO INSANELY GORGEOUS IN REAL LIFE I WAS RLY GOIN THRU IT… JAEHYUN WHO??? AND THEN HAECHAN OMG… haechan came over to our side like 75% of the time and he is the cutest, most adorable person on this planet!!! he was always smiling and waving and i really can’t think of anything else to describe him other than the sun bc he quite literally was shining that night!!! i think it was halfway through firetruck that we started to realize that the stage was like… a little slippery??? but it wasn’t until limitless started where we really noticed the members starting to slip and stumble here and there ;; also there’s this one part where jaehyun went up super close to me during limitless and i about died… i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again but even after seeing him irl, HE IS SO HANDSOME IT’S UNREAL… HIS VISUALS ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD I CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD but yeah the staff members would go on stage after each song to try their best to dry the stage but for some reason that wasn’t enough ;; i have no idea why the stage was so slippery but my guess was that it was pretty cool up on the rooftop and with the amount of people there, there was so much body heat in the air and then that mixed with the cool air = condensation??? i also think the shoes the members were wearing had like absolutely no friction at the bottom so it made them slip even more ;; they were also using a fog machine too but idk if that was actually the reason why the stage was so slipper omg but yeah after firetruck, they performed limitless and then they had a small ment here and mark talked about how it was a very special day for them (bc they just came straight from performing at jimmy kimmel too) and then johnny screamed something along the words of being apple music’s next up next artist and he was just so happy!!!! and then mark said that they’ve got october all to themselves and they were so happy to be able to be here with all of the fans! jaehyun also said that the place was so wonderful and said all the fans there were so wonderful and johnny came in to say that they had rehearsals the night before but being there with all the fans, it was a totally different feeling ;~; after that they performed touch and then when it came to cherry bomb (OT10 VER WITH JUNGWOO BTW), this was when things started to look a little :/// bc taeyong had already fell back during touch and at this point i was already beyond worried bc i would rather have them stop the whole thing all together rather than have them risk getting injured just to perform for us??? i shouted so many times to “be careful” in both korean and english T________T IT WAS LIKE THE DREAM CONCERT ALL OVER AGAIN WHEN THEY PERFORMED IN THE RAIN not to mention they had comeback promotions to do once they back to korea too so i rly just wanted them to stop ;;; i also think the members were all starting to get a little discouraged from all the slipping and stumbling during each performance and it kinda just looked like they were all really sad that they couldn’t put on a perfect performance ;; at this point the stage was soooooo slippery and i think they were more focused on not falling rather than performing and my heart rly just was in pieces ;;; taeyong fell again in cherry bomb during the leg split dance and it looked so painful oh my god i was just so WORRIED and i wanted it all to stop so bad ;~; but after cherry bomb ended, i think the members went back down to talk to the staff and then they came back up with different shoes! but finally!!! alas, they performed regular!!! since they switched shoes, the performance went pretty smoothly so i felt a little at ease! taeil, doyoung and mark were still wearing their original shoes so there were a few times when they slipped a little but thank god none of them actually fell ;; despite the song being a released earlier that morning, a lot of the fans did really well in learning the fanchants and singing along with the boys so i think it really helped in boosting the members’ confidence after the prior performances ;; there was a small ment here and doyoung talked and johnny translated it saying how basically the members felt really apologetic that they couldn’t put on good performances bc of the slippery stage and i was yelling with all the energy i had left in my that it was ok!!! that they were doing amazing and that they shouldn’t feel sorry!!! IT WAS KILLING ME INSIDE THAT THEY FELT THIS ASKDJKASDJAKJSDKD I WANTED TO ACTUALLY D*E but then they promised they’d come back to show an even better performance and doyoung held up his lil pinky!!! and then johnny asked how taeyong was doing and he answered back “i’m okay!!!” IN THE CUTEST WAY POSSIBLE… I JUST WANTED TO GIVE HIM ONE BIG FAT HUG T________________T and then taeyong said the last mission they had left was to take a picture with the fans and took out the selfie stick to take a picture with everyone! it was so cute TwT 

but yeah, overall the whole experience was really really amazing minus the slippery stage and for the most part, i was really impressed with how organized 1iota was! i’m really grateful i got to be apart of it and it still feels like a dream that i got to attend the event and see them perform and promote their new album here in america!!! they were amazing performers and did so well despite everything! i was really really proud of them ;; anyways, thank you to everyone that made it this far!!! i hope you enjoyed this fan account! i know it’s a super long post but if i don’t write it all out now while it’s still somewhat fresh in my mind, i’m going to forget it by the end of the month so i hope you all understand! thank you so much! ♡

[dechenedane]

Thank you @lightpossession for tagging me in this! Sorry I saw this like 3 days late, ack...

Nickname: If you have suggestions on nicknames for Silas, pls tell me -Gender: A field of sunflowers -Star sign: Leo -Height: 5′4″ -Time: 10:29 p.m  -Birthday: August 4th -Favorite bands: Mother Mother, A Tribe Called Red, July Talk, Grouplove, Icona Pop, I recently started listening to the Gorillaz and that’s been cool so far -Favorite solo artists: Selena, Tanya Tagaq, Sunmi, Beatrice Eli, Yann Tiersen -Song stuck in my head: Red Sex by Vessel (that one song from the Handmaiden trailer) -Last movie I watched: Looking for Mr. Goodbar, for my psychology class. It was miserable -Last show I watched: Brooklyn Nine-Nine -When did I create this blog: Apparently 2014 which is too freaking long ago -What do I post: Food, things that give me a good chuckle, pretty things, sometimes stuff from media I like, occasional gay meme, some personal posts to signal I’m alive -Last thing I googled: The weather for my city tomorrow so I can know if I can finally wear a skirt outside -Do you have any other blogs: No -Do you get asks: No -Why did you choose your url: Sunflowers on the horizon give me hopeful feelings -Following: 100 -Followers: 260 -Favorite colors: Green, dark orange, pink and red -Average hours of sleep: 4-7 -Lucky number: 10 but 5 is also good, any number divisible by these two numbers is also fine by me. But 10 is the big winner here  -Instruments: I used to play the clarinet, I have a hand drum now -What am I wearing: T-shirt and jeans -How many blankets do i sleep with: 2 -Dream job: I don’t have a dream job exactly, but I think working in a library is nice and I think working in a language based job is also nice -Dream trip: I haven’t gone on that many trips so any trip I take w my gf and/or friends outside of the city is a dream trip. I’m nervous about flying so rn the goal is Edmonton or Vancouver -Favorite food: I love pork cutlets, I’ve found Korean pork cutlets to be my fav so far but honestly they’re all good. I also rly love fruity things...fruity desserts, smoothies, juice, I just love fruit. I like berries best -Nationality: Canadian -Favorite song now: I’ve got a lot but I listen to Quimper 94 by Yann Tiersen, Lion Heart by Girls’ Generation and Uja by Tanya Tagaq a lot...beats for my moods

I’m not on here that often so I don’t feel comfortable tagging anyone but if you decide to do it, pls tag me, I would be happy to read some cool facts abt you

[barblebapkins]

99 to 1 boi les'go

okay FINE ILL DO IT BACKWARDS99: Do you miss anyone right now? miss anyone in particular?? no, but i do wish i was with someone rn98: Whats your favorite color? green97: Do you want kids? idk? maybe?96: Do you have kids? no95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? no?? like who over the age of 6 does that94: Who was your HS crush? haha that stays in the vault!93: If married, how long have you been married? not married! yet!92: Do you want to get married? yes hehehahehehea91: Best room for a fireplace? the living room of course90: Can you knit or crochet? nope!89: Which are better black or green olives? i dont like olives in general88: Ever have plastic surgery? nope and doubt i ever will87: Ever won a contest? nothing worth remembering86: DJ or band, at a wedding? probably DJ85: Are you patient? depends, with people i think i have a lot of patience, but with other things i can lose my temper kinda quickly84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? nope, i panic83: Can you swim well? not well at all82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? sugar81: Tea or coffee? tea80: Hot tea or cold tea? i prefer cold tea, though i havent tried much hot tea. i feel like i’d prefer hot honestly79: What was the last concert you saw? none! that aint my style78: Who would you like to see in concert? see above77: Ever been in love? yes! i am right now!76: Regularly burn incense? nope75: Own a record player? im not THAT old74: Own any record albums? NOT THAT OLD!!73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yes heaehe72: Ever won a spelling bee? no, i probably could have though71: Can you curl your tongue? yea70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? dhedhehde shes currently in graphic design but she can do whatever she wants!69: Ever take dance lessons? nope! i cant dance to save my life and im fine with that!68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? no?? i feel like someone else put this here67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? not a fan of either but probably sunflower seeds if i had to pick, cos i HATE peanuts66: Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos without a doubt65: Nike or Adidas? nike64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? target. walmart is always a disaster every time i’m there, and kmart, while a nostalgic liminal space, is an awful shopping experience too63: First concert? already answered this twice haha62: What do you wear to bed? t-shirt and shorts, or just shorts, depending on how cold/hot it is61: Wear a bath robe? nope, i just wear my towel until im ready to get dressed60: Wear slippers? i own a pair but i dont really use em59: Take a vitamin daily? no but i wish i did58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? all the time, like something specific will happen irl and ill feel like i envisioned this exact moment YEARS ago57: Do you believe in ghosts? yeah, i’ve had more than one weird experience that i cant explain any other way56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? i kinda wanted to be a chef until i realized i cant cook for SHIT55: Favorite type of fruit pie? probably cherry54: Ever eat a pierogi? yes and it WASNT GOOD53: Is Christmas stressful? now that i actually buy stuff for everyone yes it is52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? not really, i still have a bit of a soft spot for les mis51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? in school probably50: Ever used a gun? yes, and i didn’t like it.49: Do you dance in the car? i am the most introverted person in the world, you’re lucky if you can even get me INTO a car48: Do you sing in the shower? no but i hum sometimes47: Do you sing in the car? nope46: Are you afraid of heights? deathly yes. if i even look UP at like a skyscraper i get nauseous45: Ever watch soap operas? not willingly44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman? i dont really watch late night stuff but ive heard letterman is a bit of a dick43: Are you stubborn? i can be with some things42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? what the FUCK is a lincoln log41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? my brother keeps renewing my gamestop subscription so i keep getting gameinformer magazines and i want it to STOP40: Are you horny? no39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? dog bork bork38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? i honestly dont remember?? like i think back on it but cant visualize any of it37: Are you lazy? haha YES36: What is your usual bedtime? whenever i WANT it to be leave me alone35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? sadness34: Favorite kind of sandwich? i rly like cold italian subs33: Ever ran out of gas? i dont rly drive so no32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? see ^31: Can you change the oil on a car? no lmao30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? youre livin in the past grandpa, these days we project our brainwaves directly into other peoples heads from across the globe!29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? AAHH what the fuck no28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? for a little while but circumstances made me have to leave27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? haha hasnt happened!26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? my favorite movie ever is probably Up25: What is your favorite food? grilled shrimp pls GIVE24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? bbq sauce mm23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size? 30 x 2922: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? haha nice TRY pirates21: Whats your least favorite movie? cant think of any off the top of my head but im sure ill think of one later20: Do you still watch cartoons? i admittedly still keep up to date on steven universe and cant wait for the next episodes19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? of course!18: What is your Song of the week? sweats17: What size is your bed? i dont know and im too lazy to check, but its TOO SMALL16: How many people have you slept with this week? none, and i wouldnt ever just sleep with someone but thanks for asking i guess!!15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? yes if im nervous14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? i dont dance13: What about pooped in the woods? ew WHAT12: Have you ever peed in the woods? only cos we were camping and it was like 2 am11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? sometimes actually yeah, not for any good reason though10: What is your biggest pet peeve? nothing gets on my nerves more than dishonesty and/or uncalled for disrespect9: Do you always smile for pictures? no cos i have a BAD smile8: Do you have freckles? no but i have a lot of birthmarks7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? you cant outrun a swarm of bees6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? no wtf how old do these people think we are5: Do you like to use post-it notes? this is the FUTURE, DUDE!!4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? what the fuck who does that3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? out, but not usually on purpose cos my sheets are very loose2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? no1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? i dont have closets only dressers, soo

[rapmonphile]

getting to know me

i was tagged by the incredible and sweet @chim-jiminie-cricket to do this question game! tysm chim, ily!!

your last . . .

1. drink: a s’mores frappuccino from starbucks

2. phone call: i literally never talk on the phone but it was probably with my mom (tbh ......i was probably at the grocery store and called her in a panic bc i couldn’t find smth)

3. text message: i sent my sister a screenshot of that post that’s like “i wanna run away but like in a ghibli movie .....” bc we spent all day yesterday watching ghibli films

4. song you listened to: polarize by twenty one pilots

5. time you cried: um this is embarrassing™ but it was a few days ago bc i’d been having a Bad Week and the last straw was when i went to dairy queen and when they turned over my blizzard n handed it to me (why tf do they do that) it made a goddamn mess and got all over my shirt and seatbelt and i was so mad i started crying jhhgsdghhg

have you ever . . .

6. dated someone twice:  no but i did almost date the same guy like 4 times in high school (it was so needlessly complicated.... i sometimes wonder what would have happened if we’d ever gotten it together and started dating)

7. kissed someone and regretted it: u m i have actually never kissed anyone tbh

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: uh yeah i think i might be depressed? but it also might just be my anxiety but idk who knows man

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no, i don’t drink and i’m legit terrified of throwing up

list 3 favorite colors

12-14. mint green, oxblood, and hunter green

in the last year, have you . . .

15. made new friends: yes!! so many, esp on here

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: yes :’)

18. found out someone was talking about you: hmm no i don’t think so?

19. met someone who changed you: lmao i literally hate this question.......,, i mean yeah i guess? i mean nothing dramatic but i think everyone you meet changes you a little

20. found out who your friends are: ohhhh yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no, ew

random questions

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, the ones i don’t know are friends of friends or we went to the same high school (i never use fb though so it rly doesn’t matter to me)

23. do you have any pets: yeessss i have a pit bull and she’s the single love of my life

24. do you want to change your name: no i don’t think so, mags is just a nickname but my real name is p unique and even tho i wish people could spell/pronounce it on the first try, at least idk anyone else with my name

25. what did you do for your last birthday: one of my best friends has a bday like 5 days before mine, so we just combined our birthday celebrations and us and a couple more friends went to steak n shake and saw beauty and the beast together

26. what time did you wake up: 9:20 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching the gong show, lmao

28. name something you can’t wait for: i’m going to a music festival in september and i’m soooOOo excited!! also i can’t wait to go to the beach with my family

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: i am looking at her rn

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i wasn’t so afraid to do new things and i wish i didn’t have so much anxiety about things that literally everyone has to go through (i.e. change)

31. what are you listening to right now: my mom running around putting things into boxes (we’re moving soon)

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: u mean 707′s neighborhood friend tom? ... yes i actually have met someone named tom

33. something that is getting on your nerves: it’s too hot in this room and i am dying

34. most visited website: tumblr or youtube

35-37. ok so i’ve answered these same questions like probably 10 times over the years and these 3 q’s have literally always been missing. whats the deal

38. hair color: rn it’s brown with blonde highlights

39. long or short hair: it’s getting longer

40. do you have a crush on someone: no

41. what do you like about yourself: hfgdhs idk ,,, i think i’m a fun person and i won’t judge people for liking “weird” things bc i have a lot of ... eclectic interests and i hate how it feels to be teased for that

42. piercings: i just have one in each ear.... i want a cartilage piercing but i’m scared of pain and also it bugs me that you can’t remove it for like 6 months

43. blood type: that’s a good question, i should know that but i don’t

44. nickname: mags, except ppl in real life don’t actually call me that lmao

45. relationship status: single and tbh i’m comfortable with it, i tried dating recently and tbh it is so fucking exhausting

46. zodiac: i am literally a textbook aries

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: the office, bbc sherlock, gravity falls, or anything on the food network/hgtv

49. tattoos: none, i’m scared of pain and commitment

50. right or left handed: right

51. surgery: never had one, thank god

52. piercing: um,,,.,, repeat question

53. favorite sport: tbh i hate sports but i am completely obsessed with the olympics, particularly swimming, diving, figure skating, and women’s gymnastics (seriously.... idk if any of you followed my main during the olympics last year but it was p much all i blogged about)

55. favorite vacation: disney world (i go every year and i went this january but i’m missing it so bad rn)

56. favorite pair of trainers: i have a pair of light gray and light blue nikes that i looooove but i’ve had them for like 3 years and they’re getting worn out

57. eating: nothing, but i did have an eggo waffle this morning

58. drinking: ice water

59. i’m about to: finish packing up my bedroom :(

61. waiting for: my mom to take a shower so we can go grab lunch (there’s literally no food in our house since we’re abt to move)

62. want: the ac to kick on so i can stop dying (it’s already so hot today)

63. get married: hhdgsd idk, ,,, probably (i always say how much i hate romantic shit but tbh i can’t wait to find someone who makes me rethink all the cynical stuff i’ve ever said about love)

64. career: don’t even ask i’m gonna have an anxiety attack (i’m in college and haven’t declared a major yet can u tell)

which is better

65. hugs or kisses: hugs, kissing grosses me out a bit tbh

66. lips or eyes: both (but if i had to pick i’d say eyes i think)

67. shorter or taller: don’t rly care but i guess i’d pick taller

68. older or younger: older

70. nice arms or nice stomach: both (or either)

71. sensitive or loud: these aren’t mutually exclusive but i’d say sensitive

72. hook up or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

have you ever . . .

74. kissed a stranger: no

75. drank hard liquor: no

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: no, my glasses are 100% always on my face

77. turned someone down: yes

78. sex on the first date: mm no

79. broken someone’s heart: yes :/

80. had your heart broken: yes ://

81. been arrested: lmao NO

82. cried when someone died: yes

83. fallen for a friend: yes lmao

do you believe in . . .

84. yourself: i try to !!!!!!

85. miracles: yes

86. love at first sight: no dude... that’s honestly such a dumb notion in my eyes

87. santa claus: um tbh i wish?? like every time i watch rise of the guardians i’m like “that is 1000% what santa would look like” and then i wish he was real

88. kiss on the first date: i wouldn’t want to, just bc i’ve never kissed anyone and i want to get to really know someone first bc i’m so nervous when it comes to things like that

89. angels: no, like i believe that loved ones who’ve passed on can watch over you but i think that’s different from angels

other

90. best friend’s name:  eva and kendall

91. eye color: hazel

92. favorite movie: i have millions....,,,,, the secret world of arrietty, monsters university, tangled, big hero 6, how to train your dragon, power rangers, ghostbusters (2016), the incredibles, teenage mutant ninja turtles 2, ratatouille, jersey boys, zootopia .... i’m forgetting a million but yeah. i love animated films, esp. disney/pixar

tagging

i’m literally not tagging 20 people but if i didn’t tag u and you wanna do this, pls pls go ahead and tag me in it!! also i’m soooo sry if i tag you and you’ve already done it/been tagged. anyway i tag: @bbysucculents, @yxonkook, @yoobin-nie, @missmarymoo, @escapaertist, and literally anyone else who wants to do this!! tag me in your answers <3

[sue-bts]

Do you have any advice so new writers? I'm contemplating if I should start posting my own work. I've kind of cowered away every time I get so close posting myself. I need some help

building up your blog slowly is a lot better than asking for shoutouts. it’s better to grow in your own speed than to start a blog and immediately expect attention. shoutouts can be a bit petty so the next best thing is tagging your fics, but past 20 tags they don’t count anymore. tagging rly helps for new writers and it’s what helped me get my blog going.

make connections ! i dont mean message all the most popular blogs trying to become their friends, just make friends in general. having someone in the kpop community to help you edit your fics, encourage you, or promote u is so amazingly helpful

post a lot of content, that doesnt mean reblogs, post a lot of your original content. if it’s purely your content it’s purely your blog and that makes it all the more rare.

pls don’t only write for the notes/follows/asks, etc. i see a lot of new writers start up with maybe a fic or 2 and immediately think they’ll be famous. do it with passion, and from what you’ve said it already seems like you want to do it for yourself and less for what you’ll receive, so thats good. obviously it’s nice to have recognition for your work, i think all writers should receive that, but within proper time and after the proper amount of work to deserve it.

don’t be too nervous, there will always be ppl who hate, but there’s a difference between pure hate and constructive criticism. you can ignore the mindless hate without thought in it, I’ve gotten plenty of that and it’s done nothing for me. but one of the biggest parts to writing is taking constructive criticism well !!! it’s important !!! so don’t let urself be taken down by mean anons or bad reviews on a fic, just pay attention to all the nice messages and the tips on how to improve !

and yea all i can rly say is stay committed, stay passionate, write what you want and not whatever is most popular. i had to struggle for a long time before getting recognition for my sub!bts fics bc a lot of ppl only like dom!bts- just an example. work hard, update regularly and i think that’s all i can rly say ! 

it’s definitely intimidating, starting up a new blog and all, but in the end i swear it’ll pay off! hope that helps love

[yumenosakiacademy]

Me.trocon 2017 Saturday

diary for future me, read if you want but it’s rly only 4 myself tbh. Cosplayed: mik.an Tsumiki

OKAY so the morning was rly bad and hectic and i dont like remembering it but i woke up and got ready bc the lol.ita fashion show was at 10 am and dad n i left and dad stopped by burger king to get himself some food but my cramps flared up BADLY and i had a midol in my bag so i took it out but im afraid of pills and cant swallow them so i was shaking and then i started crying and the drive-thru girl was like “oh gosh are you okay?” and i explained what was going on but rushed and sloppily and she was like “oh this happens to my lil sis too.. it’s okay sweetie just relax” or soething and i had dad park the car in the parking lot of burger king and for me to put my midol in a BK crospy crown and take a huge bite and swallow but that backfred and i chewed some of the pill and it was Blegh but the midol didnt kick in right away and the cramps were still v bad so i had dad rive me home so i could lie down for a while and i asked mom to use the heater bc she accidentally woke up so i asked her while she was awake and she kept saying no bc she liked it but when i begged she let me use her bed and used mine and it barely helped but overtime i gradually geew okay and hadd to calm myself so the stress wouldnt make my cramps return and i left at like 11 am and i missed the BB panel too but it’s Okay and i walked in and met up w haji near the ticket place and thankfully her mom let us wander around the con

so we went to the GF panel but i was mainly distracted by a small octopus plushie on some guy’s head and haji n i kept joking abt us knocking it off his head and abt the guy playing space jam and bassboosted music outside the panel room and it being audible whenever someone opened the door to leave or come in pff... but the dipper did the lamby dance and it was cute aa and the dipper offered ppl in the audience scooby snacks to any of the audience so haji n i had one n it was rly good aa i hadnt had one of those in years theyre Yummy...

Anyway, after that, i tried to go to the DR meetup, but it was rly rly tiny?? like we held it inside w like 2 handfuls of ppl and we tried to get the junkos to step on the tsumikis (there were 3 of us, including me) w 2 junkos bc i requested it but the junkos didnt wanna accidentally pantyshot the camera so we got up from our kneeling positions haha and haji went to the dealers room for a while while this was going on and i tried to help the mikan when she said she got a cut on her face but she said it was alright and eventualy haji came back and i left w her and we decided not to go to the m.lp panel that i kind of wanted to go to and instead went to the dealers room and looked around and i showed her the idol merch table and haji said she’d buy me anything bc she didnt get to give me a birthday present earlier on in the year so i looked around for a Big hamster plushie or something but those seemed expensive so we came back to the idol table and got me the tori keychain i’d been wanting since yesterday or thirsday and haji got a tsukasa and then we ran into the ppl running the fine panel and we all joked abt “ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS, EICHI!!” 

and we walked around for a bit more before going to the rw.by panel but we could barely hear and we had to sit at the back of the room due to lack of seats so haji and i just whispered to eachother the whole time and i had haji read part of an en.stars smut fic w impregnation kink (just kink not actual mpreg) and a lil stupid thing i wrote abt rei and koga and then we watched the service dog near us near the other corner and watched it lick the carpet and Rest and enjoyed watchin it then we tried to walk around and someone asked for a pic of me but i was like “UHH WHERES MY SYRINGE PROP” so haji thought i elft it on the floor of the other panel and she left to go find it while i waited near these ppl bc they were just hanging out anyway and i kept worrying like “shes been gone for a while.. is she okay this shouldve been quick oh god” and my cramps started returning a lil but i tried to keep myself calm and the uraraka was like “are you okay i can go try n retkrkieve her if she got lost” and i was like “it’s okay” and eventually i checked deep in my bag and found it and i tried to call haji but she arrived just as i called her and i was like “i found it im sorry aa” and then we Ran to the en.stars panel

AND THE EN.STARS PANEL WAS SO SO MUCH FUN!! I have the first half recorded on video and since it’s rly late rn, i wont type too much abt that, but i asked eichi if he was anyone’s sugar daddy and, if not, would he be mine and he said he was kind of one to hajime and bought him lots of things and haji asked who was the most into minions and it was apparently Tori and i showed them the scooby doo au i made w some of haji’s assistance and showed wtaru (and the others) the Scoobkai Doonata that i drew and they all were laughing and i wa glad aa and the topic of vore came up again and i showed them shino’s ku.rochia vore post and the kiryu was like “OH MY GOD CAN I GIV U MY TWITTER SO I CAN BE SENT THAT” and the panelists were laughing and tori read the tweet aloud while laughing and i told them the ensemble vore account and eichi was like “well, theyve prob gained more followers today” and i asked if anyone in the audience wanted to see it and omeone rasied their hand so i showed them and they were laughing too and it was Wild.wataru apparently named his doves after fine members and tomoya, and i asked kiryu if he could lift rabits + fine and they nodded and i later asked if he knew that he’s a thicc bara and the fandom thirsts for him and he laughed and nodded. Haji asked them if they’d heard rainbow circus nightcore bassboosted and the eichi said they played it at practice ssometimes (i thick this was ooc not in-character answer) and someone in the audience actually KNEW the person who made that and messaged them and they messaged them that tori said they liked them and the rainbow cisurcus stuff and the person replied w “ Why” and honestly this whole panel was FUN but so someone told us where the en.stars buttons were so the fine group, their friend the kiryu, haji, and i all went to the booth and got buttons and i said goodbye to eeryone and walked around for a minute then haji n i went into the vol.tron talk panel and haji had to leave aww and after that the vol.tron panel was mostly shitty fanfic reading, swearing, and roasts and i wanted to go to vol.tronival but for reason i thought thatd be rude bc the panelists were like “we have to compete w... THAT” and so i stayed and went on my ipad most of the time.

I went to the per.sona 5 q and a and it was so full that i had to stand in the back but they sometimes kept bringing up per.sona 4 and perso.na 3 so i was confused and they said they were abt to start trivia and it might have spoilers so i took that opportunity to leave bc i dont want spoilers and it was kind of boring so i walked around the dealers room and i found a Rock and Uno and i talked to them and turns out the Rock was actually the mondo from the day before bc they said “hey, sweetie!” in a nice tone and i was confused and they were like “ah im the mondo btw!” so we talked and i talked abt how i watched both seasons of nan.baka in like.. 2 days and i was like “uno’s best boy-” and rock (as a joke) went deadpan and walked away and i was like “ROCK IS ALSO A GOOD BOY JUST.. UNO...” and rock came back and i said that uno and nico stole my heart and uno fistbumped me and rock was like “you should cosplay w us sometime~!” and i said i was considering doing uno but couldnt and i cant do most of the characters bc long sleeves and rock said i’d be cute as the chinese qi kid and i was like “i cant paint myself either but thank you!” and they had to leave but i got rock’s tumblr and they called me cute or sweet and i looked around the dealers room for a second more before scurrying to the LL panel and apparently the thing was 2 hours??

but anyway it was p funny and we all just messed around and did q and a and games like handshake  killer and karaoke! i sang half of Sentimental Liars but my voice wasnt as loud as i wouldve liked it and kind of shaky bc i was cold and Nervous and the nico from the panel and another random guy clapped for me and the 2 en.stars fans in front of me said my voice sounded nice and at some point i overheard those 2 talking abt making a screamo cover of melody in the dark and i was like “omfg are yall gonna actually make a cover. go fully hardcore” and Dead girl walking and candy store got sung and it was a Fun panel. the kiryu from earlierwalked in too so when everyone was talkign to eachother near the end of the panel, i asked shino if they wanted to say anything to the kuro and shino asked them how ranking went and the kiryu said they couldnt rank and shino was just so happy and keysmashing and asked f i could say “pls lift me mr.bara” and the kiryu chuckled and the kiryu was like “do they want me to like.. do anyfin?” so i asked shino and all he said was “DAB” so i took a pic of the kiryu dabbing and shino said they hadnt been feeling well so it cheered them up so i told the kiryu that and they said to tell shino that that made them happy and when the kiryu and i swapped tumblr apparently they already follow me and im like “FGNEGN DUDE.. I KNO U IVE SEEN U IN MY FOLLOWERS LIST IM YUMENOSAKIACADEMY ROX...” n they were like “oH” and they showed me a funny post abt shu and i proposed a tri.ch shu hc and then they ahd to leave but i stayed for the vol.tron panel but i was messaging shino thru most of it but i saw lynds (as lance) get hugged by the panel’s lance and i read some en.stars doujins and messaged another friend too so i wasnt paying much attention, then istill stayed in the room for the rw.by panel, but same i was just on my ipad but i saw some of the dares and the jaune sang and stuff and evemtually it was over and i walked around taking pics before going outside to wait for dad to pick me up 

and i took a pic of a pidge, lance, and keith and gav em lollipops and the pidge was like “omg ur nails.. wait, did u go to a hai.kyuu panel last year?” and i was like “ah, no i was casu.al d v a” and they were like “yea, but u went TO  a hai.kyuu panel, yea?” and i said yea and they were like “aa i was the hinata u talked to. i recognized u bc the nails” and i laughed bc thats my only noticable feature, huh. pff