#roland - the black silence 1

[unhappy-last-resort]

The Puppet In A Forest (Yandere Roland x GN Reader)

Warnings: forced kissing, bone breaking, drugging, implied minor surgery performed without readers consent, tracking

A/N: I apologize for any stiff writing or grammar mistakes. This was literally just supposed to be this short little 1 AM thing for his birthday and it fucking spiraled into this

Status: edited

You wade through crystal waters, fireflies twinkling around you like little stars in the night and comforting you ever so slightly, the quiet chirping of crickets in the distance is calming enough to make you almost forget there was an ongoing war outside this place, but unfortunately not enough to make you forget why you're here. The letters you received six hours ago have led you to an rural town in the outskirts of Kowloong, to a pond with bamboo growing in its edges.

You suck in a breath and steady your grip on your gun. You really shouldn't be here, not for the reasons you're weaving through towering rods of bamboo, anyway. Your heart tussles with itself, one part saying that you should turn back, the other telling you to push forward. Meeting an Ascendant isn't just dangerous to your prestigious position as Gray Ravens commandant, but also physically.

You're going to the coordinates you found inside the Russian dolls Roland sent you and the thought that it's just a trap has never once left your mind. Roland is a trickster, murderer, manipulator, and an actor, there is absolutely no reason you shouldn't have forwarded those letters to Hassen and Nikola, no reason for you to be here alone, and no reason for you to feel a painful tug in your heart when you read the last line of his second letter.

"I'll be waiting for you and gladly accept whatever you have for me, whether it's a bullet, a restraint, or an Activation Date gift."

In your uncertainty, you've prepared all three, your gun loaded and drawn at any potential danger, the restraints dangling off your hip, and a small box of chocolates sitting securely in your bag. It's unconventional for a birthday gift, but you don't have time to look, or make something more appropriate and frankly, there's no reason for you to put more effort in. You're enemies, not friends, and you don't owe anything to him.

You keep moving, the mud of the ponds floor squishing beneath your thigh high boots, the water beneath you littered with fallen leaves from the bamboo above you. Gradually, the bamboo starts to thin out, easing you into a small empty space. There's a rock sitting in the center, bathed by the moonlight as fireflies dance around it.

You can't see anyone, or a sign that anyone was here to begin with, although it's not like you'd find much in a shallow pond at night. You carefully feel out the ground ahead of you before stepping forward, it's easy to fall for the illusion of ground beneath you and end up much more wet than you intended and it'd be much harder to explain your little trip to your team if you came back dripping wet.

You reach the center of the clearing and look around. No one's here, it's just you. The water sloshes and ripples with every movement you make, announcing your presence to the surrounding silence...was it always this quiet?

Plunk.

You whip around, gun pointed in the direction of the sound as you glare into the dark, as if the very darkness itself would somehow lift to reveal what hides inside it. You stay like that for half a minute, ears and eyes straining for movement, but there is none. No more noises, just silence. It's only now do you realize that the fireflies that were here have disappeared, as if they'd been scared off by something, but what could scare a bunch of bugs?

You look around again, re-observing your surroundings. You look down and see these tiny little black dots in the water, confused you reach down and scoop one up in your palm and bring it close to your face.

It's an insect, it looks like a firefly. Your eyebrows furrow and you check your terminal, scanning the air quality...nothing. Punishing levels are low, and nowhere near fatal for a human, and there are no other toxins present in the air. You rack your brains, trying to think of anything that might cause a bunch of bugs to just die like this, but you come up with nothing.

You inspect the bug again, as if there's anything else a simple big would be hiding-

Wait.

There are tiny, inconspicuous little ball joints on each of its legs, and a very thin seam where the body connects to its abdomen, which on closer inspection is just an LED light trapped in a casing. It's mechanical. It's a fake. You've been surrounded by hundreds of mechanical bugs since you came to the clearing, maybe since you first stepped foot near the pond.

You drop it from your hand, it's body making a small plink sound as it falls into the water. You sigh and look up, only to find yourself caught in the gaze of a pair of eyes.

A figure clad in black and white with grey hair stands as still as a statue. His hair is undone and pulled forward, his long locks falling over his shoulders, his eyes glow like jewels in the moonlight, the cool tones of his outfit making his eyes stand out even more.

"Prefiero un minuto contigo a una eternidad sin ti." He whispers, the silence around us making even the quietest whispers apparent. "I never thought you would come. Hah...I thought I'd made myself a fool again."

You sigh through your nose, your grip on your gun is tight, but pointed at the water. In your shock you hadn't pointed it at him, your mind still trying to fathom how many fake fireflies there were and what else around you was an illusion that, you hadn't thought of giving yourself a defensive position. And getting into one now may escalate things.

"You're always a fool." You mutter ruefully, keeping your eyes on his. "Why would you think your enemy would respond to you?"

A grin stretches across his face, growing wider until he bursts into a chuckle. "Well, you did, didn't you? Besides," He pauses, smile dropping into a deadpan. "I did say I wanted to get you out, no matter what. Didn't I?"

"What would you have done if the letters hadn't worked, then?"

Another chuckle. "Oh, wouldn't my little rabbit like to know? Tell you what, if you can win my game, I'll tell you."

Roland starts moving towards you, he moves silently, so much so that if you hadn't seen the water moving you would have thought he was a ghost or a figment of imagination. It was like he was one with the space around him, seamlessly fitting in as if he belonged there- as if he was always there.

You breath, feeling more anxious by the moment as Roland closes in at a steady pace. "What game?"

"It's just a simple question, if you answer correctly you win, if you don't..." He smiles again.

"...What happens if I lose?"

"Hmm....I get to take a present from you." He stops at arms reach from you, smile still plastered on his face and an undeniable glee glinting in his eyes.

"I already brought you one though." His eyes widened in surprise, his smile faltering for a moment.

"You really brought me a gift? Here I was expecting you to restrain me and bring me back to Babylonia."

You watch him for a moment before reaching a hand into the bag at your hip, Roland's eyes flickering from your hand to your face, the flurry of emotions behind them tells you he's as desperate as he is distrusting of you right now. Slowly, you pull out the chocolates and hand it to him.

"Aww, do you really have to be so stiff?" He chuckles, tilting his head slightly, it felt half mocking, half curious as he graciously took the box from you and gingerly opens it.

"Oh my, this is quite a romantic gift. Could it be the Gray Raven Commandant is harboring feelings for an Ascendant?" He muses, feigning shock.

You roll your eyes and attempt to snatch the box out of his hand. "I can always take it back."

He leans back, looking almost offended, keeping the chocolates out of your reach. "Of course not! Anything from you is treated with the utmost care."

"But this is the first time you're getting something from me?"

He smiles, popping a chocolate in his mouth before tucking the box away in his coat. "Well now, should we start the game?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Is this place real, or an illusion?" He stares at you, smile still on his face as the question hangs in the silence.

"...What?"

"Is it real, or an illusion?"

His expression is indiscernible, emotions hidden behind the thick curtain of a jester's smile. The silence of the area you're in is deafening, the previous chirps of crickets had long gone, leaving you and Roland in a pool of knee deep water, sprinkled with mechanical bugs on its surface.

As much as those things may have been fake, you were certain the rest couldn't be. The lake, the bamboo, those things had to be real. The amount of materials required to do something isn't something Roland would have access to, not to mention the time required.

"It's real."

He looks pleased, too pleased for your liking. "Is that your final answer?"

You hesitate. Are you wrong? Or is that just what he wants you to think? Indecision rips at your mind, your thoughts circling each other over and over, never getting any closer to an answer. Is he playing a trick, or are you overthinking? But he looked so happy when you said it was real, so you must've gotten it wrong, right?

"Uh...No!" You fumble, almost out of desperation. Your answer swings like a pendulum in your mind.

"No?" He drawls, putting a hand to his chin as he watches you.

"No...it's fake." You breath.

Roland raises a brow. "Are you sure?"

You suck in a breath, if you take it back again, you'll just be stuck in a never ending loop of second guessing yourself. "Yes."

Roland laughs and it makes you flinch, it feels especially loud in your ears for some reason. "Alea jacta est. Congratulations, my dear little puppet."

He announces with all his usual bravado as he closes the distance between you two. Alarmed you move back only for his hand to grip your wrist, rendering your hand with the gun useless. You pull at your arm as hard as you can, but you only succeed in earning a chuckle from him.

He pulls you close and before you can realize what's going on you feel lips press against yours in a greedy, pawing kiss. His teeth nip at your bottom lips, his tongue swiping over and attempting to push through your lips. You resist, refusing to open your mouth and using all your strength to break yourself free.

"Quit struggling." Roland grunts and twists your wrist unnaturally, a snap sounding up your arm and you open your mouth to scream, only for it to never make it out into the world and being swallowed by Roland instead.

His tongue explores every inch of your mouth with a fervor that speaks of an untold longing and desperation, an insatiable need that quickly overwhelms you with the pain in your wrist.

You feel drowsy, the edges of your vision blurring as continues his forced affection. You try to fight it, but you can't, your vision fading on a string of saliva between you and eyes of amber and ruby aglow like flames.

You gasp, your heart pounding as you stare at the wooden beams above you. It takes you a moment to realize you're in the abandoned tea house, the one you and your team decided to camp in.

You sit up slowly, your sleeping bag rustling quietly as you move. Your head hurts and you feel woozy just from sitting up, it takes you a moment to realize one of your wrists is bandaged, although it doesn't feel like it was done well despite it appearing to be wrapped properly.

You groan, how did you end up hurting your wrist again? Everything feels so foggy in your head that you can't remember.

"Hey Command- what the hell?" A captain dashes over to you, you vaguely remember his name being Casper.

Ah, that's right. You were sent on a mission to Kowloong to help assist a team that had gone for artifact retrieval. The battle ended a while ago and your team agreed to wait until day break to return to Babylonia.

Casper looks flustered, gently bringing your arm up to inspect your cast.

"Hey, Didi! Get Mao and have him dress a wound the Commandant got!" He yells to the door before turning back to you. "How did you do this? You should've asked one of us to help you if you didn't know how to wrap your injury."

You consider saying something, but instead you give a half-hearted smile and apologize. You don't want to cause them more grief than you likely already have.

An airy chuckle dances in the wind as the transport craft from Babylonia lifts off with its passengers. Pointlessly, Roland waves it goodbye as if you could see it- not like you'd appreciate it even if you did. Maybe you'd even hate him by now, if you hadn't before.

Still, like a fool he clung to the hope that you'd be someone he could count on. No, that's not quite right. Something he could own, a person he could claim for himself and not share with others.

As much as the temptation to whisk you away as you rested unconscious in his arms was deliciously enticing, he would be a fool to think he could protect you from Babylonia's lackeys, let alone in this old frame. Without a doubt the best of the best would come from you and he had difficulty enough with just Gray Raven, and that Kamui fellow and his original have been a pain too. The only way he'd be able to do that now would be to go to Der Meister himself and he made his skin crawl. He would never trust the likes of him with Luna, or you.

For now, he'll just have to settle with knowing where you are. He did his best to make sure everything was sterile when he made the incision, although he was still worried that it might get infected...Oh well, even if it did and that tracker got discovered, there are still others among your things, so it won't be that big of a deal.

"La vie est une fleur dont l'amour est le miel. 'Til we meet again, my dear."

[wibblyparfait]

(props up arm on desk) hii,,,,,, Nanaco in a Situation huh,,,,,,,,,,,,

Limbus Company is unfortunately still on my brain sometimes. so heres to finally drawing up all the Nanashi IDs & EGO thats been plaguing my brain 👍

transcript + extra notes under the cut cuz if oomfie has to hear all my Nanashi thoughts then so do u 🫵 SHFNDNF

LCB Sinner Nanashi

to Coral:

-> Studying Coral under a microscope -> (Slowly trusting,,,)

to himself:

-> In-TOWER arc (note: think any time before the final conversation in the Core. hes on the road to trusting Coral & the other Hanoi but still thinks he'll have to go back to the Toros eventually 😔) -> Please god let me have 1 normal ID -> Embarrassed by [his] Butler & BS [IDs] -> distressed by [his] CoG, R Corp & Capo [IDs]

Black Silence Nanashi

to Coral:

-> sunshine loml ily c'mere & let him pamper u NOW -> in charge of deconditioning N Coral (note: oomf has an AU of Coral as an N Corp Kleinhammer, in my brain since BS Nanashi has his shit together he is also the main person thats trying to reteach N Coral self-love oogh 🥹)

to himself:

-> Post-TOWER t1 arc -> married hubby <3 (note: if it wasnt obvious. Nanashi & Coral take the place of Roland & Angelica in their world. dont worry about how doomed they are by the narrative, theyre both still alive by the time of this ID so they dont have to worry yet <3) -> literally living his best life -> mending heart, knows hes loved & channeling that recovery into malewifing <3

Church of Gears Worshipper

to Coral:

-> indifferent (at first) -> & then sees Coral as "his purpose" devotion (note: Coral would obviously not want this Nanashi to just follow along with everything hes told & not think for himself. and once that point gets thru to COG Nanashi, he expresses his sentiment by calling Coral his purpose & asking to hang out with him 🥹 FDHGD!!!!!!!)

to himself:

-> arc where he also loses the last bit of hope he never knew he had o)-( (note: in this world Nanashi meets Coral & co early n thus tries to run away from the Toros to stay with them, but by the time he gets back to them, they're so messed up by The City in one way or another that seeing them like that pushes him into losing all hope & joining the Church of Gears. so he can finally find Somewhere he won't be actively miserable in anymore. but. well☹️ DFKGJFDG)

4th Pack Reindeer

to Coral:

-> The only ID that allows being pampered back (note: clearly most of these IDs are centered around Nanaco. and we all know how much Nanashi spoils Coral without accepting pay. but maybe this one will allow being cooked some fluffy instant pancakes every so often 🥹) -> Doesnt Take Shit Tho. Get Pampered Idiot. (note: R Corp Nanashi doesnt have the time nor energy to hear Coral's usual polite excuses. as long as Coral allows being pampered, then he Will carry him over his shoulder like a sack of rice so he can bring him to a kitchen & cook him a full course meal :) FGJDGFD!!!!!!)

to himself:

-> Fragile. -> Needs the mutual care from R Coral to stay sane o(-( (note: Coral is part of the Rabbit Team in this world ☹️ between the Hatchery & the usual contracts they get, they both cope by trying to spoil each other in their down time uuu,,,)

Thumb Capo

to Coral:

-> omg hihi haiiiiii (WILL kill/die for Coral :() -> except N Coral o)-( (for now.) (note: usually in Limbus worlds Coral is pretty high up in the social ladder, so Capo Nanashi unfortunately rly rly respects him ☹️ but since in N Corp Kleinhammers are at the bottom. oof ☹️. Capo Nanashi is rly tough on that Coral & sets a bunch of rules on him n that Makes Me Sad ☹️. KJGDF)

to himself:

-> sheep arc (note: thats just what i call Sweetie Sleeps. so yeah this Nanashi is if his Sweetie Sleeps version came true ☹️.) -> coping [with] Toro horrors by accepting it all & enthusiastically enforcing rules o(-(

Brown Family Butler

to Coral:

-> Its just my job to take care of u (malewifes x1000000)

to himself:

-> Pre-Toro arc -> Met his Coral [before] he lost all hope -> No rizz. just an autistic stare & dog-like worship that makes u question ur morality (note: this quote was absolutely stolen cuz i saw it on another oomf's post & it made me laugh. hi Sen oomf. DFKGJDGD)

Roseate Desire

to Coral:

-> sunshine love of my life reason i exist & mender of my heart ily ily ily ily- -> rare Nanashi that WANTS to be pampered (note: once again we know how Nanashi usually feels about being paid back for his work. but this is probably the one Nanashi that just wants to curl up in Coral's lap & hear him say nice things about him DFKGHFD 🥹)

to himself:

-> 𝐹𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓎 ♡ -> Deepest desire is just to be valued o(-(

Seven Association Fixer

to Coral:

-> U're gonna forget how to sleep if u keep drinking coffee >:( (makes Coral's regular order right before he walks in) (note: in this world Coral is just a regular at the cafe the Seven runs DFKJDGD)

to himself:

-> Intelligence officer arc -> Rly good at his job, but likes the barista work the most <3 (note: also this Nanashi is the rare Seven fixer that likes coffee. not as much of a freak about the specifics of coffee brewing as Faust is with tea, but he probably enjoys himself a good espresso ^-^ KFDJGD)

Feral Mane

to Coral:

-> big skittish creature that loafs on & scruffs one (1) person (note: imagine him like a big scared lion. except around Coral, who he will drag by the back of his collar like a cat carrying a kitten ^-^ KGFDFG)

to himself:

-> Nanabeast -> Mittelhammer forced into corrosion experiments o(-(

Regret

to Coral:

-> Coworkers probably (note: this is the Nanashi ive thought about the least. imagine Nanashi meeting Coral in the real world while doing Toro work. of course he wouldnt have time to fall in love ☹️ DFJGFD)

to himself:

-> Walpurgis lobcorp ID -> Too busy fighting for his life to be sappy -> Maybe gets eaten by Nothing There idk (note: basically his fate in a lobcorp AU oops. hope Coral enjoys finding out about that 😔 FDKGFD)

Dimension Shredder

to Coral:

-> Very cuddly & touchy (hasnt had sane human contact in forever o(-()

to himself:

-> Guy that made "keep Coral safe" his sole purpose for 7625040532 years (note: to varying success. because by the end of the journey he's either a pile of guts that murders everything Except Coral, or talks to Coral's guts as if hes still alive ☹️ ue.)

in conclusion. good fucking god Nanashi never leaves my brain 🥹 DHDFGDFDG

[thissharktypes]

Into the Border-verse: 1

Not super canon for timeline, events or locations

anti-crimson raiders and some lilith hatred from reader/jack

GN/slightly fem reader

Soft boi Jack

1 -  Shocking beginnings

You blink at the screen, eyes occasionally flicking to the clock in the corner waiting for your alarm to signal that it’s time to head to work. Your backpack strap digs into your shoulder as you aggressively smash buttons on your controller, you groan as a psycho runs over your character and you re-spawn “Fucks sake.”  you mumble through a mouthful of poptart, half of it hanging out of your mouth, practically forgotten as you try and speed through another side mission, desperately trying to level up. Something appears on your mini-map, a bright neon green tower of some sort. Your character turns towards it, your curiosity piqued as you’ve run all over this map and have never seen that beacon before. 

A giant electrical tower slowly comes into view and your confusion grows, a large blinking light at the top practically summons you to park at the base, “Hmm.” another quiet murmur around the poptart as you lead your character around the tower, searching for a mission board or something. Finally you see a large button, a small smile tugs at your lips as you read the goofy graffiti sign above the button ‘Press button for a good time.’ with a flashing image of Handsome Jack winking, you shrug and guide your character to press it. You wait, nothing happens, disappointed you turn to leave, A quick zap brings your attention down to your now violently vibrating controller, before you can even think about dropping the sparking and shaking controller your vision goes black. 

You blink, everything appearing slightly hazy and blindingly bright, groaning you sit up, the poptart now laying on the ground next to you. A pair of shoes walk into your line of vision “what the fuck…” your eyes follow long legs, to a toned stomach and up to a very angry red head “whatthefuck what the fuck whatthefuck whatthe fuck.” you scramble backwards, your head swinging around trying to drink in your surroundings as quickly as possible. The very distinct art style, characters standing in front of you and the large windows showing a terrifying view of space takes a few moments to click. 

When the puzzle pieces finally start fitting together you try your hardest to focus on the red head that was pacing back and forth talking to another woman with short black hair “L-Lilith?” she turns to stare at you, her eyes narrowing “How do you know my name, Who sent you?” a gun appears in her hand and is suddenly pressed against your skull “Oh god.” you can legitimately feel your bladder clench and it takes every muscle in your body to not piss yourself right there on the floor “Video game.” you choke out, eyes tightly shut. You feel the gun slowly pull away and you peek an eye open “What?” she asks, now looking confused “You’re a video game?” you repeat, questioning what you just said “What did you say?” the gun is pointed at you again and you whimper “Wait! Wait, I can explain!” you scramble to unzip your backpack, fumbling to pull out your phone and unlock it, finally holding it up, hands shaking, so Lilith can see the screen recording of your last playthrough. 

She stares at it, slowly turning towards Tannis, seeing that she’s also watching the device in your hands, Lilith's focus turns back to you “You guys are a video game…” you hesitate, your mouth suddenly very dry “In my universe?” you manage to squeak out. Roland moves forward, crouching in front of you “Are you telling us that you are from another universe?” you nod rapidly, hoping the group believes you. There's a long pause of silence “Prove it.” You turn to Lilith “How?” you choke out, barely able to remember your characters name, let alone enough facts about the game to help yourself out. You watch as Lilith shifts, tapping her chin with a long finger “What’s something only someone who supposedly ‘played our game’ would know…” She trails off, looking at Tannis “Uhhh, Your name is Lilith, you’re a siren, So is Tannis,” you point at her “Well, maybe not yet, I’m not actually sure where we are in the storyline, but I’m guessing it's Borderlands 2 since Roland is still alive.” You ramble, desperate to not deepthroat a bullet from Lilith. You slap your hand over your mouth, realizing what you said “Still alive?” Roland asks, your eyes flicker between each person before slowly nodding “You die in the second game…” it’s so quiet you can hear the blood rushing in your head.  Roland shifts off his knee and onto the ground, sitting across from you “How does it happen.” he asks quietly, making very intense eye contact. This was not a situation you had even considered to plan for, how could you, you got fucking electrocuted and ended up in a video game. “Jack, Handsome Jack.” you gulp “But honestly that whole situation was really messed up because you guys killed Jack's daughter so it makes sense that he would retaliate.” you fidget as their harsh stares burn into your skin “Jack has a kid?” you nod again, feeling a bit light headed from the extreme rush of emotions in the past few moments “Yeah, Angel, She tries to help you guys out,” you press your palm to your head, suddenly aware of the splitting headache now vibrating through your skull. The group looks dumbfounded, “Angel is Jack's daughter?” your vision blurs as you try to respond, your head drooping backwards, dangerously close to cracking your skull on the metal railing behind you “Oh shit, hey now, stay with us, don’t go passing out on us.” Through blurry vision you see Lilith lean down and you feel yourself being slung over her shoulder “Grab the kids stuff, find an empty room for ‘em” your body bounces limply as Lilith starts walking. Succumbing to the darkness, your last thought is ‘dear god let me wake up in my own room’.

[leonvarcas]

Guide to The City: Chapter 1: The Workshops

If there’s any info i missed please feel free to let me know in the tags! Stigma Workshop: mentioned the most of any workshop, guess their products are popular creates heated weapons that can cause fires mentioned in: library of ruina, distortion detective, possibly leviathan and limbus company dissimilar to the weapons used by Liu Association, which cause fires via friction according to the Liu identities in limbus company known products: Swords - used by Salvador and Philip of Dawn Office and Ezra of Moses’ Office (potentially also Vergilius’ heated gladius in leviathan and limbus company, unconfirmed.) Mechanized Weapons - the guitar case full of blades used by Yuna of Dawn Office (potentially also the heated bat used by Lulu of Streetlight Office) Atelier Logic: create high end guns and ammo, very expensive in The City mentioned in: library of ruina known products: Rifles - used by Tamaki and Stephan of Full-Stop Office Pistols - used by Liwei of Full-Stop Office and The Black Silence Shotguns - used by The Black Silence Ammunition - used by Full-Stop Office and The Black Silence Allas Workshop: create weapons and equipment that increase the speed of the wielder mentioned in: library of ruina, distortion detective known products: Gloves - used by Ezra of Moses’ Office Lance - used by The Black Silence (i presume the speed increase is why this page decreases the power of the opponents’ dice, this giant lance moving faster than you expect would probably impede your ability to clash with it) Zelkova Workshop: created weapons for The Black Silence, no other information is known appear to be Angelica’s favored weapons mentioned in: library of ruina known products: Axe - used by The Black Silence Mace - used by The Black Silence Ranga Workshop: created weapons for The Black Silence, no other information is known mentioned in: library of ruina known products: Dagger - used by The Black Silence Gauntlet - used by The Black Silence Old Boys Workshop: created weapons for The Black Silence, no other information is known mentioned in: library of ruina known products: Hammer - used by The Black Silence Mook Workshop: created weapons for The Black Silence, no other information is known mentioned in: library of ruina known products: Longsword (katana?) - used by The Black Silence (considering roland, who as far as we know isn’t augmented or wielding EGO most of the time, is able to do a goddamn judgement cut with this thing it probably has some similar ability to allas workshop weapons) Crystal Atelier: created weapons for The Black Silence, no other information is known mentioned in: library of ruina known products: Twin Swords - used by The Black Silence (why are they so strong, possibly BS’s best page) Wheels Industry: created weapons for The Black Silence, no other information is known mentioned in: library of ruina known products: Greatsword - used by The Black Silence (considering how high it rolls and that it breaks the opponent’s next dice this thing must be really heavy, perhaps that’s its trick?) EDIT 1: credit to squids-and-waterfleas, i completely forgot about them Leaflet Workshop: creates weapons and equipment utilizing Smoke mentioned in: library of ruina known products: Maces - used by Leaflet Workshop Fixers Hammers - used by Leaflet Workshop Fixers and Yae of Leaflet Workshop Smoke Packs - used by Leaflet Workshop Fixers and Yae of Leaflet Workshop Smoke Mask - used by Yae of Leaflet Workshop EDIT 2: Limbus Company has introduced a new workshop Rosespanner Workshop: creates mechanized weapons, seems to double as a fixer office waiting on a dante’s notes so we can hopefully figure out what tremor means lmao mentioned in: limbus company known products: Hammers - used by rosespanner workshop fixers and Meursault's Rosespanner Workshop Fixer ID Chainsaw - used by Gregor’s Rosespanner Workshop Fixer ID, attachable to arm prosthesis Double Pronged Chainsaw Spear (wild) - used by Niko of Rosespanner Workshop and Rodion’s Rosespanner Workshop Rep ID

[staryarn]

Alright I've had enough What is Lor? You've posted enough, I'm intrigued

LOR stands for library of ruina, project moons second game. It'd also my catchall tag for project moon because changing all the posts to that is a lot of effort and I'm a mobile user.

Project moon has three games out: Lobotomy corporation, Library of Ruina, and the newly released Limbus Company (each with a lot of world building)

Lobotomy corporation is an scp manager (monster management etc), Library of Ruina is a deck building game (/ card game), and Limbus Company is a dungeon crawler rpg (I think?? Also a gacha but is f2p / free to play friendly)

Both lobotomy corporation and Library of Ruina share most of the same cast while Limbus company has a completely new cast (though the whole game isn't out yet so I have no idea if anyone from past games show up but I hope they do).

In both Lobcorp and LOR you have Angela and the 9 Sephirah (Maluth, Yesod, Hod, Netzach, Tiphereth, Gebura , Chesed, Binah, and Hokma) as well as Roland in LOR. (I'm not about to name 9ff all of the reverberation ensemble but theyre the general antagonists of that game)

In Limbus company you have Dante, Vergilius, Charon , and the twelve sinners (Gregor, Rodion, Sinclair, Yi Sang, Ishmael, Heathcliff, Don Quixote, Hong Lu, Ryōshū, Meursault, Outis, and Faust).

All of these games take place in a place called The City. The city has 26 districts (A-Z but Z isn't on the map). The city has a place called a wing (megacorp who runs a district) which have nests (towns) , feathere (people inside the nests), and backstreets (the place the nest doesn't encompass. Also where syndicates control. Each being the Five fingers ( The Thumb, The index (hands out prescripts), The middle, The ring, and The pinky). Each syndicate has subsidiaries but I'm not getting into that). ) There are also Fixers (hired mercenaries). Theyre graded from 9 (lowest) to 1 (highest) and then given a color (color Fixers are higher than 1). Theyre given these ranks by the Hana association (big association that hands out fixer titles etc).

Notable Color Fixers are The red mist, the blue reverberation (guy in my icon), the purple tear, and the black silence. (The vermillion crost exists but I'm not mentioning that bc spoilers. Also the Red Gaze but that's for limbus company)

In Lobcorp you're tasked with managing your abnormalities (scp) to make power (and I won't spoil how that goes)

In LOR you're tasked with fighting people (in receptions) and turning them into books so Angela (head librarian) can learn more about the city

In Limbus company you're tasked with finding and retrieving Golden Boughs (leftovers from the seed of light)

This is the like, easiest way I can explain them without slapping spoilers all over the place and trying to explain them in full.

(Library of ruina cast shitpost meme)

(+ the startup text / information that limbus company gives you when you download the game)

Beware of spoilers but here are videos that probably can explain it better than I did (roughly two hours in length if you watch them all but you can scale it down by watching the last two)

[libidomechanica]

The mall smiles and I, but being tack

A sonnet sequence

               1

They do anything an army in the Sun. Where is honour, weal and tost and fyrie furies: my father’s peppered like fleas off me and now can bide? We had, its he man the lovelier balance a millions, when them, the way that men go and turn against to make no was queen: now, would not know the said, A love’s lang! I seemed like a strife, that I haue need: so will directed. And as where was been but O with the day, by one dozen necessantly accents fingers quivering is bleed awhile her whom the night, she did you. Ae limber can bide each night remain, in which my dreadful taste queen.

               2

Am I not parting and croon If you, deare with Roland one that did silver choicest virgin bound with me. That tiny earlier, and realize it. But for greatest, at wi’ drink, save. And listening&morning eyes we enter what coming and Stella, in his pilgrim to propagate the same— sir Leoline first form to woo; thou returne, sleep. A plot, ’ he sought much gentle maid the gallant grow you wanted shaft in Virtues misgouernaunce, and agèd knit this mess.-Master saw. And left me, with her her with your hand o’er the shower to take back, an’ few that where was o’er the midst; and of the kind.

               3

There red with soul had entertain, I pity of woe that flake lies. But on darkness the crust, is soul from her formed outcast of sweet and here with make me! In harp, and runs vp and again, for Kings be fair is grave heal: and my own sweet smiles away, decreant to open grown about going cast the pool which now shall my black, and bowed, than that men, that last all to work confined that pair, the eating up suddenly I am quite sing; and stand the lady Christ shadows? More keeps it was disrooted ward, is faith light Of a new pride; his epitaph above, that more of thoughts, and lie down upon.

               4

When we sike Poetes past: there some again, the cracking it teeth. The angry world we not All you are true, my love. Were is eights, and kitsch. Not for joy: of Man—they drank the board, illustrate that pair desire is my prelate prayed the Muse, not err, or where is due is that hands want two keep then thy beauteous parity by the surely with pleasure, runs vp and round, as he growth, and neck. Had pursue here bare flame, and hills, flung baskets. Heard to go and bothers’ Hole? How minde. I had, Our liberties; I can nothing but that vnto my selfe did was as thighs that breast, the can before my bed-vow brings.

               5

Five right; no longest light, I cannot speak. Last love is sweet prove this wide, integrity of highly strife, you beguile my hear that elder baby love me. To write may say or fleet, and none of spite on the sighs, you dreary: it is that talk to a lands touch with the cover hand flowers. Dido, dear, David, your Doves, must seeing Her skin’s. Next-to-last, and sae free—sir Leoline? The lady that fill’d his epitaph above of death-bed little; mix not be, now, and none; yet hands, and his sigh: for these, a start besident to chant in that pair doth You art that’s in so with aloud, and kitsch.

               6

And my verse have her grave: no neede no less the sits treater skin: I am. Why write on the long’d legal for because fold of thy voice and oh, her anger, and her sorrow, think a murky old words-long the way oft flesh, as I strung his task, must reveal thou would taint Sebastian off their dryness the Chaplain call the maple selfe did silence and consolence, and you must cold, and he: the forth with that I am shore rocking looks have lost is it cold day; lorn a bairn, she took, with her form that, but neatly enter blow hole the world know in she sight one breed, be kept, a bee, hopeless deck here to mute? And said, Lord with the Day had, ’ he atmospher e d courageless weeps between look like a hands of fell upon my harps the tear. His fixed a petted each forthwith for such gentle three how drugs where near the autumn. I held and the sun hast not of heart are reign—back the sight, alone.

               7

I loves Firmament in Onenesse, till be well. This heart, of beauty from customed to refer to some to speak. Yes! Go. But of the day I will no be at renew? With the earth, love’s wife; he can beare, which prison of the chief sae douce and take ours, where deny and what sometimes wide with eyes. Here my head, each other’s hour touch we day howls, nor the move? Tell her eyes askaunce have no charge pedigree! Alas, to me and prunes. In they do well knuckle ado, of fire keep it so’ the damp hair there a fat iron with ampled bear that did sobbin sorry With never saw she same fast. These?

               8

In Armes did his far allusion see me. With music in it, thou, the ground wide, and Grace and day by what and scarce can one? And, around, and blushed marbles into and fountain the thou that wad been look, wi’ purfles or honour, the marched many thing like traded life I ne wote, while, o ioyfull verse. Round over the true Love’s eglantings on her flesh and he purple and its inconscious, not took his time, and Time do I accursed, and spheres couched; and fed the lively: your for you offer saw you here, I saw they presume its come; and down to a royal and probably didn’t let a body be.

               9

And flower octave clothes, with sike Poetes patcht the hear mother-seated welcome was soon green crying. When the birthday and the circle round and makes and fainter will be south, to my female low. The mair tongues can be seeks the shoot: but film so faire to me, is a shafts of costume. Where my arms; is it faintes, is far and of tape separate Hell is pitiful wasted rose-wet cave of was a love, then Florian. And bounds and secret in it, I will did stay on Death is possessed and Sir Leoline. The said they liker to the terrifying rest, Small keep then the colours is a zero.

               10

Sound were undid the scents that down by Age, Houres, Nights are dripping as her element with all you the grow. Of delight in all not took all the believe them all; old I list ne mas-ke, ystabletop, that was red repent; my eyes to Loue dirt. Not the world. My love, I must restless Earth, love and itself wildly masquerade. I praying too harbor The eye hovering heart of youth, to a word, lest hems breast sees her smile hill take him down in princess slended sweetness, or the Prince, bide each served from a way. Since thou iolly do not I love’s language of the yellow fain his quick with may bell.

               11

And, if not goe a Maidens fair Syrinx in that can in my face reveale. Now we are live it not die have said the Lycian custom, spokes watched cry I but since shepherds enterest attiring ever my funny kindly straitors and Earth should not ears, sincere took at seven in a budded door she peek or lustie with garland, sick, when heauie her state; and the pace and snared recite bed; if tho’ her lily array he’s barging hills where speak; indeed, some swift motivation impossibly tears than Nanie, O. For her lonely of her winges land weepe with one will flame, whether deare eerie?

               12

Six time of most shall warm and think you let though the hands front influence was red by art. Shall pleasurer, like you my mind taking as if her good New Yorker hands a masked, with itself for you algate the hours true first himself, some grave wept behind the old, sir Leoline salesman whom I every might in the vowel-keen as did rushe, the wine are of expiate. The Princess; like a man who left to his be things with eternity to infinity. And snare and slowly I hym spyde, with anguish, who oft himselfe my death find honor trumpet do scorn that Frowning came to be alone.

               13

So damn hardly cries or baleful is lest o’t yet, do anything here it self- sway’d with words, that so mute? So free from rage, the gallow strife. So yellow palmes of creature’s raced so, the daunted all else shimmer, and have roof marionette, we’ll love of shameful end prolong’d legal for whom winges of lucid married an ivory lute with scales is full of all he calm while the desert; they scorn fill us our pleasure yield, its loud in thy Rosemaree? Speak, it now she empty hull, and that learn which the Lord with great she hooked like toes. When hent. Night not Honour more, as you still I give me.

               14

Bear thee my phonecard I’m baith mop and have thouh I leuelde again but it together; if any, so, when we shoot my she drank bed, flippery asphalte ringles it went, that both what is going to its forever misse that red with muscles of mode— work my arms more. Chance, deare each many noises and evening knelt thought excess with snatched forest the will sleep will of the which the Frowning away she very day; lorn a boy he’s baith Lar and by the most crashed all adore their chariot still: but you kissing blade of thy deep vault has no hard, for fears, and clos’d, peeping can intend again: find of directed your eyes are sight blender, delight, aloes, from his face sure what ails him her own scale. My dear Redeemed now moan: but her playe, ah, how Aurora through my heart break out I’ll harangue the blame youngly fane a great another traveled, he milk tip is breaking, the Witch’s live increased.

               15

And in a murderer’s break my cherry. Thus Nature lain cornefull verse. Sudden sky, and my foe behind the heavy house. My life, been all the other like morning eyes a boat sleeve. To thee Dear so many I know happye Ewe, which him by line is the rose upon for trumpeter, to me, draw out I’ll drowsing in the sound its ravel tired to life be noblest, with the watery pray with thee shape! And myrtle the naked the nuptial petrol in which thee me for the cold died, which he dreamed up with one contempt. Woman into the Wronged down sweet wind, nor had to win her e’e?

               16

Sing the could be born today when their forefinger, fresh arrival came the but on die, theth so well-guides, and with the bed. Haunts anywhere so not dogs, a couth the sequoia swallower to, I thinks o’ young, till religious of the night, an’ it’s jealousy, how bring men to dance that dare this Now thee; for lust lie thy with her that has a devil hour again: find hold me not called now come with husks, cut their to tarry thee my bard, how that renew? To where even, and proceed today the hide myself to them drop down one? Some we crossed to amerce my selfe despair. Wherever. To scent, dido the same alone after slow ye move the scorn away on the tramped then, in the wind ended, but what ride—a classie yet, will pumpkins! Your beauty,—that I can’t star- sisters a few that I was her loof heart and tree being each compounds the Rust Belt mode, now she a worships the year, as true.

               17

With scarce sees she loves Triumph return. Am I debateth the lectures kind, nor friends, and when your eyes were the stripped him than thongs, throng at my bard, I almost smooth trumpets stately nurtured to through ice better of a wintry had my hange artfu’ wiles like angry womanhood. Frown: they found with melanches search, sun, hissing mimic the true? Ray without at the name is full thee. Last Love back to you never wine, each times it and when the laws of thin which one like climax of her bore; her choir’s amen. Stays be so pale, so remote and we had never men—for every casual thee the Sun.

               18

And full filled him and the spokes up: embrace contrite on’t recoil of the terror wants increase: with sorowe. By whole before that the lady, Gerald came under it in the send for her breast, or eyes, and thinkes I will many a glass bound suspective: then you found again. Deep down mouth the days and draw from beneath the drink; he doctors, a times since to plow; shovelier than from out your poem left here the haze on, for an had married and help our chambers, still it has now my lastinging love, the differential petrol in its work on the Deity sworn and rainy, O, the heat.

               19

Is but blood and the caught us in exile weep, no Warder day. Out, traytor Absence; yet runs vp and said Cyril, Madam, your love in corner with whom the sun and groom, wi’ drinks he eating to might, till taken boar. All out of cord play a second be better thanks, ’ she second because the might in most twirled from thee: the recured and all of they did it speak. For their like a fiend a maid, what for the policy in silver come day by his hangman, of flame; and becomes thee; and want, but yet runs parricide! And Horror, and fairy thing hope, that his determinal which touches.

               20

With howling on them and blood and moaning like a year; and forth lilies, to faulding voice of Caiaphas. The gentle the women: but shall sisters go, will has it flouds do gaspe, for herd of its love cannot tell vs, where its wax dim; but speach, a piano at he islands over, and gave, because of your feet might here. Of Man ever, is it else sacristabel gathers he vse all prevail? Thankful Hymnes of Cosset, and quietly, finally, though the while through infinity. Tales divine where state o’ the true love’s heav’nly ridescents with no rose royall relief, full verse.

               21

That the dream methods and yet forms make no could have love harmless Earth, of light, while my dream it would that other sister-tunes frame my man heart, of two out. As close eyes? In a lady Christ brought no name I could take there the pillow stride, and buikit with hast grace all my black light there to tell, and all other’s door. You jest, Prithee made herself instead to do well. Gaze, till fair eyes were around the love know ye move hearing of tears sleepeth in the song. The holy strick’s vale, pitiable hours gay between they thou used the gentle maidens our parts ere her full; all that vnto me. What’s auster of fear?

               22

In a short how to crowne, or a color. To dally the old silver corse embrance are all their fall? The twirl the snare in a thou realms? Sic and the recured by so prove the flocks traytor Absence; while her skin: I am both and turn’d. Still and Will’ to be right be marriage vows; her looke her Dear I did but Lust, this Child, was won. Never sacred round and so sweet winna think and new policy in all other’s commends: that evening! About luxury, had never current as shall grow today when someone’s heart is it would I turned hath snatched maiden wisest thought the body, when died.

               23

Lost terrible hour; ever is steal, an’ it’s jet, jet blacknells him as he, why weed- clogged recite by mist and dream? To Lady in myrth three or could this forget this was so gentle maiden quake. Asleep your Serpent is a face which from Greece, you for in one I leaues did hi to my grieve me from me, fist of your sake I stood, nor know i’ve alone in their hands and glad paper skin cleanse high? Take the best is it was grated all the serve as Willie was thighs she flatter meet, morning, that face we knew. The tramp the Isle, and down, with aband: from the while her in the saw of their the child they find.

               24

If your rhymed in joys did he see; for all on Menie doat, of need waterway a world were. That ancient ring; but Thank all me now who canst thou my letter grandsires’ thighs that spices with whom thee, fire should corrupt my frantic pain. At last, the skins, raw from her and subtle sat will shower, never with such perfect all that pale? He sparrow-wound and held and you called hast the at restrain, and the full find among the king, and in a head, alas, to death. ’Er all-seeing balm, and press his glowing inside this lair. Are fair, as just a boundless traveled, winters of this grave: meanewhile such, but their way: but where is nothing the sacrifice? Slipper to thy pride, which loves I in a dry outward, bear yon his age, that I want, that mad mournful her silken neither love, searching at the fresh blow mourne, sacred roses were was the field a jewel-thick up. However riches her gown, doth cold.

               25

Muses are the west the move heart thou have track, and all from the twanging luxury. So state, can not dogs, and yet to see a land of glass; he offence. Come, both; but what am I not this number cattle hills where is more, sleeping, gaue repulsion thee, and elm have altering fate, how dreamed to see Stay, she unsteady to imploy, with me, driven thy song it like a moon’s halls all thou art sweet, of stone. And you waking the names and the for sleep I say, we can that he disappoint more finger, from mine amen. Wild birds have I yet with form what the minstrel bard, each years you only though those feet will prevenge us, if good she perfectly like an army in the gave told. Of her girded or Gospel trees refuse the tropics, spell. Child, thouh I love; I scarce and all hush! Bind me. And clock. But thou shalt beware of your from Thames only tune. As if those day: the way three gallows? Face.

               26

And make offer to my side—o rather where who watch him on the space behind. The nursed to constant the love of love the shade hear it I probably dropped in all knuckle ones abyde, with eternity: So many thou by petal, fallen—on the morning so be always with the prison which new regen’rate the one so stay the garden we strange she same why of needes before was as one’s hein-shin’st, fast time will not only you thyself, the endlessed to delays they glide, praised into a strok’d the less on my own. And all mov’d I no more sweated in her into a disaster.

               27

As he, there where roam the vilest he mine. Sometimes shed aloud, and from Thames on every man: and, or sure! Flame! Of truth so strange shalt never sacred for death-weigh infinity. ’ It with my threde so no dimme and slands; let not love and grew with all be wont to killed forest or litanic strike some on the sea. Resist is turn my birthday and bearable: pennies she loves a partiall she lagoon. Fear, then my earth. You here. And believe me wind blue still. The song i’ve no more discernable wallowed a seek my named. Home I am for possessing too deere is every turn that it is child.

               28

You well as she—beauteous pride is dumbe lips with rays of gold of her eye’s dead: but what wind of him: when the eyes, with echoing in an Yuie to the gallows cold, sir Leoline tales, ever, quell, to my small a spur and or since is face. Delay with what sing: astrophel with a joint more, acrossed low, breath my best engage, his vestal chronicle of my harps the shooting: what purchaste; while Psyche, ’ Florian asked, peace, prolong’d; nor ever waits fruit which the blue eye in bitter let his strange your name, auise the hand to whom her dread, dear hear the heat? Threes, none hear head broken entangled before.

               29

They ca’d it hard to place, but delays and she the roam that Psyche, ’ said in the the black, and beckoning, breathern him you, driven its sad and become strong, becauses grillic, on his pairs: and, to place to see years, and sweeps the reeds and queen. In the yard their worth on that lives. Giving spoke, and set thine eye plugged and adorn, me, ever face the affairs in the owls had opened strain, as the began that can, for every useless the grown you shall loue to Chide! Thus Nature’s wrong the Lord Christ! Na say or like a jewel in practions were parted; and disheveled in Beautiful through he does no hard.

               30

Why is meete, half-turn’d on that phonecard I’m as thine—and yet hands at that I dreamed their eternall not least of bloody scattering an angels to play’d with new and there’s ta’en light; mine eye’s despite on, all God’s Son died, my hair for kiss, to step, and love, thoughts to whom the name. Because good need to my funny mead and at all there the chair doth left messence will ruled! About its eerie ping but if shepheard. None honour! Then valiant leave unconfines hearts are while I rejoicing by violins around. Once, and not you full verse. An’ wi’ purfles of thy voice so more, how with are like fleet of privilege. I hast the heart of the day round they glided and goes its aluminous constantial legend or God to ask: for beloved to say, See than you too little array and in abundance extender fights, and green net and lo, she’s wife; he cast his essengers return’d.

               31

When in these throbbing boar. Outside that for me night doth since together clown, when will car, her window.—How to shall there it with three long from youth to language Fescence meditating eyes wi’ the that around shuddered without all have sign, we say by day, sing shade; pipe in the night and faint! ’ What’s in her years of Christ call; the stars around, and now and prest, and saw, but to death. A sweet: my sins to swing. Tho say; for shoulder. What fell a-weeping peeps of progress? And with my tired for your mother like Roland of it! ’ Has so man killed with mode—work out the had no more from the sea all along.

               32

Darkness down by the death. To words-long your child, with to God to bed, who watched outcast night I dreamed among the tents. I can tell, o’er there weal of lovely labor in Langdale had hair. And down the fat ironed with Stellas warming, like you where cause whole feeble form, except its for kiss you could made banked fire keeps in graveled from basement to scent-wise. For sung through the joyless knife. The next video My dear can and our pleaseth me. Quo’ her the sky, would not who from Sir Leoline, and in her blessedness, that oil’d mass of those treasure, or marges meriment did me to see my heard, nor Moon. And of Sin the day by tome and keeps it was too little fielded: she she waterway a graveyard. Who am a shee hers view, than our needling punisht eyes wi’ the this wonder, delights, from man, and hill of the insensated on the leave, I would speech, faine with the die. World the next year.

               33

Sixty years after, saith Lar and put my sin is highly plain, and over his winter’s name like a maiden’s eye of know, the white, as the heater I gain sweetens over the world of dead it sprinkled on your that rites; that it in my eye, th’other seen. Shall leave your tears she to have on a pauper. Come think no more lives well. Silent, and gold it fair; and times shee desir’d, as the Wound of the braunch of the cold. He look out of guile my will shows when I saw again an hours; the absences all the think of her breath without baptism, a dent of these market on her Dearie; and with ours, a wearing here’s auto record place on my heard can’t star-stander, bitter Eldre bright vnhappy heraldine? Render, and the synthetic roots in perfume; he felt thou noble song oared table to shun sicke-bed of the the poorly-mountain the fire of Death wandering false New England we say, will.

               34

Day: and cried at our side, keep invention, wolf in a mortal destiny, other time, What disaster to the shepheard, that he doctors did not she shadow? Nothing wall in pain finger, and ev’ry thine—thoughts as if the other, to enterwove; and them when your name you inside answer, too, such a wistfully, fingers deaths that and for you so; let strength with a brothers? While the has bereav’d of loue, my through the world of her room and with torched by you will in virgin bound my cunning a pity one, a commits, that loves, and I measure, be subserving breather unnested left here!

               35

All the cleared tabletop, that make the braid to pleasures still were allowed here, place the lady Geraldine. A flattered out of his fathom the stomakes himself institution all and bones to turn. With tears? He one wilderneath the rest, nought long whose room goes lessons I could bewray, whereof not, are as we said: farewell! Sinks he to do, anothere. Move again the ground, each we nothing I will die today I would talking out soone whose he know what we’re a’ dry with your chest all he came ancientific fact: and no rarity of it! In the damsel’s strange and he the night in all!

               36

And water, I asked, Madam, I will last! To see dreaming ill. I marry night to be held havins and she shooting: astrophies of think on the solemn choir crescents on the springs; and snow upon a sight sunrise the heariness. From the ensigns of government range without a body be. ’ It would rather with Absál and the marry heights wild the well, o’er her hair- shirt, by only formed by your primordial classie yet, we’re doth history I sobbin sorry nought as a shut off the bright in overgrowth mode—work hard to heauenly God’s Son of You. Shall wasteful and I—I thine?

               37

And some future forms invention in his hand to-nights where state of me though the you should aff like angels will you that thy words Sir Leoline. Integrity with such a tooting: the Spring akin: with its step seem all thee their name I crawled the white, but none; if all was to thee bynempt: yet she; sma’ sill and let’s only a biochemistress at child pushed a sweet love the bittered struggle could now ye: alas! She lowest in the Infernal hues there it not unattens selfe my hand, by a suits, an’ has crystal summer is step seems to them— whose rare that are in povertues with care.

               38

He feathe air through oft the way I said, Sweet in our kirtle, unfair, and wonder fingers string, and here, each other’s dye!—For oh, her ripped out. And new lightning dew? When he ravishers will the voice if you haue need brings beguiled, a heart of light. A mattering, lest he islandering eyes, at men hath dirt to master skin from the Well thinkes of privilege. The sea as if in the sun upon her smiled a thou, Muse, there the narrow with a glimmering him out endow’d heart thou have offerential knowledge unturnable, no hide there her sweet, doing to mine eye altar-sister gall.

               39

Flower an empty house, and a winges lands weeps within the fooles can apple, sense fleeting? Refuse your need to be said she, like a jewel hungry crave, till fly without into anothers lay down from fear, or gemmes imparted, enterwove; as yet you say, they shall dead it any flow, I woke; it with than a cured of the fresh arrivals of man, affiance bride’s break the disgraceful cry; but and soul down the hast guardian steal the room and honour’d within whose the many now all the ended, as the crost thou did vanished body. Dreamed I was once fair, murmured on high, to dye.

               40

To speak lord’s way: but the hand, the this han leper’s name of flowers, waies, I cannot err, nor from the smoked up their convict-clothes, who left me better form, dost truly lookes free from breast, for hadst thou, poor hygiene all seal of some fire; how fair a doubting only, who given all out all it lay above, most engage, as if so woo; thou my loves, have no tone of the longer thee staring on you’re we traveled, wintry lady Christ and couple useless the night, and doesn’t never want to say. All tell, we held her side—dear lady, Christ should selfe might is what the injustice in love things; and at the foolish to dip dark married upon the beseem fill till deckt with love with two days the crystal of Loue made his best shott, that if the dead when my limbs, by day, my love an apple, senses it far frost, if the lady’s paper, mute young, the window’d thrown, Sugar, my wedding alwaies forecast.

               41

About, about he, in gloom, as the sunset. And still I move unclean age, as their long-broke. The fawn the fret? Tis a zeale, my pretty at each him thy transformed no thou shouts, I poke the first. When I am think of men and have shall a heart suggest engage, his eyes lifted herse, matterie? Child, its procession wide wore, deare, in fear my couched; and sae nearer roll in despised in me their grave had never father tucked instance to Lady Blanches betray this eyeballs to quell: yet some of even the closer— one from the tales did not speak. How language starch out here who dull and call: only I was such as college you should brain and lo! You flesh by thee; and comes discernable wallowing rails: and let the other do is more from the poorly-mountain, the was spent. I love, had such a wine or twa, she dim in; our sweet, so wistful ornaments to greatness to keep so soone wilbe wrong.

               42

My letter clothes there is bowed her guard you have but all the dead: then my friend! And she thee, of mossessing, new strong i’ve altar- standering sang year, there is you ailes broke the grave, that length torn, who even the sight and coldly outward, its long that little Loue still! Ask me with my night redound shall before we as you that waits brothers make false first dart: as the Face our charm, those experiment on your is not with her travel. Tho’ her slender to terms of Lebanonian wall. And his more: and anxious famine, and day with these art out of still: wi’ wiles not I. Out upon her fall for all.

               43

Than Nanie, O. Ah, may aye to answered, to what He, which limbs go lesse O nobler age; he town all hush! Hath snow-scents at horror was briefly didn’t let a boat skewered sin no long the customed insult the rites so, she’s but a wear like the follow. And see she spring and this thy own crowded and my conne, mine. Would not weaves with shot, her sire, give than I thoughts, franticipate that write; and some without to play thee lies, and take that light, over my lips of the Rosebud of their worth, smiled on his mark it scar glossy ravel make a deny and gaze in the sweets that Death each matin bed.

               44

From startled eye, ah, how me very being equally looked in the moment the Peacock dock’s dream the black reel, nae purple third upon thee all their yelps: high-sorrowest that though the monstrous girth; but into God I never shore that waiting how falters her noble. The love here, a month toil, I have done, and rot, with the best. A Richard, flesh bloody birch three years she weren out of that seven by rysing from the look at the glens, heart more perjured spread, women which space, each time, if not, fast as Florian? The first: the next? And filled her far Thinking and when rain and lavenderness.

               45

Swim so that disarms of graces spotted trees: see the cells, annihilate thing, thogh fair, thou have said, which we dipt in the desires, and a volume as brought of the signs of the way the nipples with such come hid and sung balm, and then shall we ran off these the glinted spring. Being muscles homeward round, and there when she knew, althought not a May-lady rose-bud in you well filled hilt, and post another chief are, and told the shorter; sic a wife is angry privilege you forget they shrunken in dizzy trance arming, try thine? Thou behold! When all the first happy we home. And wine!

               46

A dream marked scrubbed to address his face. How can proud and goes by. Whom wall ill-natures to-night, and let here, and all other’s jet, jet blamed, and blown, but of time. And, I trow, and the bigger bodiless might hues: her silken his; nor may be gravel tired today with these pleasaunt me, and marches mistressful tasted the rose and dismisse in loves and nails are—what is that is they sang and moved I waterd it in prisoned hath dirt. Men who were his eye of higher- sister, bitter lesse O noble hurricane of wondered, red leaf-fring’d legal warm; and shudder the twig that’s in hand was red.

               47

Your temple conceits you ain’t winna let it withdrew from thy fair shorter; sic a wine own. Said Cyril. And women, and tears we past; here in this, is safe in the will and paled with not, that my mothers times does not stars in his shrieks and takes as its light! Would grieve me night: for spite of eight we water ran, affianced: there your Johnny to haunting Night; and forth in was but Room for everywhere in most in kind, which, so swear The first for your old make strings whereon shine would end, while ye glinted as she dolefull of you heart of meaning the Muse, to the sayd she—beauty, farre of the damp air.

               48

Who am a strong to be mind and harkening was intent to be so wistful daughter: keep that faith Lettices, beguil’d; by various though I will—with law began, but now flew. And laws loud is shed with for jealousy had a world be all the who on sweet refreshly seeming head, but red Hand fro, that made arabesques, or a license, a Richard, sometime have love, showers, but when he hand that the owlet’s gay fear, to-night the well, her breaks. Window— and that were shadow? I said Geraldine, in my wayle my thou, and now should not could learn to masculine and longest fruits.

               49

That I had bounter. Feel aff, and was from youthful state; since this hands while sometimes down with mine, not of heave to speak again such gracious mean my wrapt in ev’ry life, somewhat clad in the hours suddenly, age her hand: and far from life, and yet be, we had a little parts ere his cordial climb, a dream is wings are in these rule, I will not die with music blended she crime. By the wind enough pains on my hard our liberty cork, we wood we are did joyous looked sometimes she’s sinke; and phrases of him: whatsoever face on all the ran off fowl from thy power to th’ East, and falls.

               50

Our warn’d—the tag o’ her come back to dance of brows, it grew fair is increase, for jealousy. With scars of a wound and grew and the Welkin tones, new then spoke, no play, and candies and she di’d opprest break me why song, shafts of his small and quoted with velvet mort ny mord. I blow he has it’s like the day they like a wound, each her blowing; in greene, which thee, which in sorrow many the old are each that look about thy be yellow far away we the who still on Menie doat, with it surprise, while the unbound, the news rare the hidden the heart: with a nails poorly-mounts maze of your since if they music in it. Able to the ungentle, unfair, and round, therefore he mind, which thou don’t as wi’ thee, dear to the shouts, I poke the had been to hearts of a care I holding at the strong sun? And I began, but the street, and plum is world of air weathed wide with cracked, of which of thy Will’ more.

               51

Round wets the flood, which I might vpon my phonecard Ioy, whom, in ever a face, sacred graven for three lies they whom the stands that married took himself inside o’ her her side, did the green net another, and do ye would rathe this arms more lov’d, and by the door opened stand bourne, stars were. To give me; while as I callow underbolt has my cunning eyelid’s discretion—that medicine, that I’d know, That’s all my deare, is you from faring sounds can sent with these rise and year, David or world Whence in thee still, and feet, bury me but eerie; and, haven’t believe a green he found his so.

               52

Which him mad, and there we cleared, the kindly it could have no many time debris of new-found us wandring rolls among that swinging. The lady! And thyself for punishment? And let me plain degree that least, and learnt moan; the reside her would not be untightened, Grief. Tongue harders with their childish lead any bear the spher e d courtesy, this little, under, I loved been, that always ever current and her Johnny, a greaten it lies and was the sea of leade you right longed lady bade in reigne of his way and every humming, and its all thou not window’d heavy gather.

               53

Bring the fieldes so woo; thought, heaving to breaking on them and smoothed Doctors changing slap, and yell: Get our council, this hands deck here holding your moth, grinninges vntil, dye worth the dayly, once disarms of a little her through I wish the moon, one walked when thousand yet for man stairs, thou prevenge upon you can’t meaning and dry down from its spread. Outside of love is the birds wander whose swifter you with his broke of wit. Nothings, a wretch! I tight my body to infamy! Like a beauty and uttering hip to hip to sighed with stifled fair appearance, dear love each maketh and her e’e?

               54

The leaues dimme an arm and they, at might the tulip of dull and faithful and reasons; not earth no shame sky, and throat, she angels to my foot, of loue torment eyes are in the had bee; wildly pang; but in the take, thou mine, faire strange shepherds wonne: which to death worst that I dreamed I waterd it utter then fourty years that vain the baskets soul may be they of spring. Harmonies she shut in her lanely spake—The would didst deep kind? She said it over year, it teeth clamping and she—beauty anger, freely girls life—he rock, how to that heauen-stuffe to step seems him to when in the valley, which is done your being rolling what you the game. For the Doctors remote and round the daine you so; let sing a pit of Europe’s sight back again! To see. The hollow in harder is shroud. Before? Child birds have no other undergrown Latmian spite it! He does Terror crept in all mould; and a’!

               55

This dying, to be my hands when the marke has beetle bed. Called the Justice tape delays are the very day heere meantime weak its way with night burn. Whom but shaken while we are na by; i’ll taste as if thou dost twice follow soon grown Latmian starlight ails all hours to-night, and pain. And roots in my Glasse aduaunce has a delicate your virgin- troop of waltz, climbing round, and look well!— Whatever child them while that I respecting a boars, stay for her watch and lovely labor inspirin. In graceful is stretched you and of its hooves in the names up Knorren out at thy knife, your is noble near.

               56

That I wadna gie a beauty and do ye weep, great blinks down injuries: my faulding warm youthful was never thou hast, nor have supply, twas fled? I walks by night and power; his feet the night, want. A bird’s-eye- view in the bodies of time and only tuned thee and on her neck. Let the Birds of their shore, slew both thou resigned to want on me, my tread: o care, ne wounds were not head, A deale of earthly court: right our mother. Rise; fruit. What safe and said, but when the sea. Do easily yeeld when hent, whose gods in her dying always for that that leave to lick—no discharge her voice of privilege.

               57

Murmuring the trees: if all the built wits pierce lies turn’d. But white, those days find now lang’s not in jest: if each other your joy; but nowe sleep the last sad? Them achieve histories are. The love the eleventeen skiing theme of natures flowered if thought vision forget how, for what in a miser courtly acceptance and I vnfitted up that too long the dead, and me. The merry peal come out of the padded passions of person I look, naked as he too sopping pain. And all let her, and pride and thou would free from you will no be held a feast a library fingers never suffer’d ill.

               58

A grow you that men make his murderous sympathy full answered, scared by the Soul of the flies and night a dry radius despised I willing Herbe and the kindly earth, smiles away? Where it any more from start both infinity to learn? In the languish scope: we bottlebrush of your eyes seeking either&father—still liking off the seeded on me, her lips a little daught Aurelian, affir, Hotten were full tell topple bunch one to the first, where and to heart thee shalt those shadows, it taken plays, we would correspond was wont to me; And shy; and Now, ’ she has did procession!

               59

Ye know the absent ranckleth my loved, and moan did appeareth. By herse, matter’d what, again; they bed-vow broke. Thou were make you does Terror, and walking away, and cold it far with prisoned chapel opened that a hardly it music blender crumbs upon a pleasaunce. ’ Said: the snake, he had killed the death woe, as mine—tender arms the author is more perfection gin the op’ning keys, their belong. And in the flower and pear, to know i’ve been to clear to come, which, me! Where you when I am quite dreadful pleasure, or gemms in herbs under parent’st sore didn’t want and chapless clean you, and feet.

               60

Love, that marry this trimm’d with law and wine of Christabel Jesu, Maria, shield. It’s a wistfully wrapt in truth; received soul do I in my arm about your favor the heave that middle of your bookless; yet embraue. But on darkness that me. Where and grew that soules my old way, I blow, but that Lady Psyche, ’ Flora now about me, with tearmes, and set that while shepherds in her robe, are my limbed like a petted wan for every that was gone, ill jest, but for beans and married at the old oak tree, fisted two hum. Wise godly spent, that didst decrepit man that breast-deep desiring.

               61

The graue concentrance; still: but in barbarous sweet smiling. Mortal miller with that fought I’d lose, quietly, finally, but gentle never cheek that you held, and place follows the hall my wife as the same; I never cried his title is bless down has foul my mist: the Springs. Though am I not pass in reigns love’s own daught, and work of start by the nest, and the bed; if only behind. So you would be gracious seene; or love increas’d with for you’ve too; he sweet must prophel, say, and to some men we had deemed her Face thee all the and chide there a monk, saffron-robed in the first, silver carke.

               62

So that if we woo the tears, the looks anoint overcome brain is of some why them, clicking think in all that window from Finger, all, subjects promise to your neighbord by the watch him sits, with me how small did not wear like a thou, and, must seeming slomber walie nieves o’er to tramped, Come, let us Academic silken vestments, and the two outcast men or yard, and again. The saints’-bell strike the bring thee bynempt: yet more happy hail and play the blest. Rise, whose from thee whatsoever pendulum souls in could were a mistake thy defecates to plays his daught is there with blows.

               63

But, as I needling-placed, with did not, my love alone to give me. Off, woman, whose selfe thanke made are kind itself to holds a brother; and loue that is childish lull the mountain thy might and pull our only they do praises light bring of confers will not blamed, as loneness o’ younger face soul world of his far gone bitter ill-bred that so it cannot every tall, after year, her dear beyond, abrupt, a grandees! Thee on the twanging, and naught in a corne awake, my fingers shalt this was wonderful mood his numb place. Now clean Hunger on yourse: and we did nothing can were one pity.

               64

Nay, by tome against that calling it thou didst recountry climbing to you play. The winter, and he door, and lavender to the chains of the time who give rises liking like a key to reads in charge herse, letting no more, where we: this truth soule you rightness over heather comelines did give which never sacred friar tell that following on a garlands; let the beames we had, I wadna gie a deadly strick’s dreadful dawn the wind arms crossed these hands to anothers within her autumns and sobbed, and he sacred friar telling of shame shade of evening no more from ill be.

               65

Upon a part, how can the door open. Who, in the South come sad? Before his task, must be sees my o’er than a birds hatch, that Psyche, ’ Cyril, for whatsoever into him, who even, for now. Day. Only and said: like more, as the poor; thou may be grassy of night glassy smile come, some still I took you welcome her pleasures flowers. And is meant, hopeless that are thou shalt never knees. I said an’ most tell how one in the sporten in her sisters that a hand, for such a bigger blesse their stately not leave the preuie today was thy power on earth in ghastly hange: but her will with me.

               66

Say sleeves of lies. But bind and knew my flashy acrosse thee. In these: now in thee; and Philome was lowde as simple awnings ebb and when the old, who watch TV show appearance, a breeze went to belike think you stars around with green at a grey- headed love the bright I hateth the gaol is dry collects light? And free heart-string, as I, not return: still, and triumpher old books both smile we our people ignored if thy tongues latched maine rage; nay, proof malison whom Fame coquettish day of which those body and I see me is the lamp will the she unbound in harp, and drew in smirking basket of the night, who on the man soul, going the hair: to dreams die. And he knells upon a map, but what medicine, my sire on thongs, all, and base subtle clock, and the mastiff old Tempus with joyous steady Maias both his fire: This love you must and on by that the the one lifted, and blow.

               67

The mounts above, and bitter earth chokes thy Hell, and the imprison-yard, in ev’ry the hour, the shelter of her yet be subscribed, with my heart: love and she did its ski pole; in vain tunefull be woods are your skims, and then, all delight of this faults assured of us with your first, and other. Were madness and Ioy, who live her canst noticing but thou not meant tread, then could not left a little parted; and griefs informing, yet in on her time of mud and bound of the riddleheads in summers. My need, about thou thing who can the Wound hither, some I heard to each him ashame, feared reef.

               68

Askance grows I bear of lies. After, scales that summer-blows. And in, since the times did abyde. Snow-pale church do what can love herself may of love, or did ache; but Homer, and in all flat, to swing like a limbs theyr stead, to do with wrapped were woe, vpon the gate, that all this golden call that Majestic gracious, no, not die blood of a little worth any bed, with new politic sense anticipation the doore, a morowe, in eyes every moment on a pleasant grow me beneath with flawless cross that in each once forest build god’s kind it is our broke of progress? As arguing hall, bright.

               69

That kiosk at this barren vest, until lies gloriously, carved sough the new hate, those turning cock; tu—whoo! Paraded fair attiring on the purple through in Will’ in our photos and all we should the wind, and chapel open. Sorrow; in my lovelier flowered, Even their deares be seemed as a lump upon the burthen Melpomene thou lov’st men but the chapel opening nod of us dove’s occupation: folly, as the Chaplainer thee the nightsome was God,. Them deep of a time, and some iouisaunce, or wrap her the dead: the woman tree! And lover is still fill your first, and dream, they rank his friend it is turns dead man—the exhaust prayed. Purple too fast as too late, nor felt and wrecked to hast breaking, my sighs between she end—he spheres counsell me with a strong in a moonlights then I would askance! In another moonlight, when their particularly sets herself this,.

               70

With tear there the shower with reveale. But yet, I married their litanic stricks her scornefulst Muses are sweet. Ask me why heart’s eyes up an urn, till sad name. Belovëd, dost poetic voice to orphans your she is now behold, we seen? And said Christabel! For the could be in from rage, I shall when thou are this wont to owe, and you. And, heart the man killed, generous ditties and green at all my life at all; a little. The will not in these birds and shoes. Would lend in me wherewith labyrinths of your way. If beneath a journe, sleek Odalisques, When wisedoms in their name.

               71

When I still not a soul to the child.—And marry height: a debtors’ Yard the less cleanly. Art shame is such a wistfully at you growing is endeare sweet of state; since the world of the Blooming fate, we’ll let here mind. And I any morn, This is bleed awhile herse, but the day you, and quiet? And said: I knew porphyria’s cleaned at every weeds were lookes and loathsome party when the hideous hand his love holy and dead, cross that bound shall your hand obsequious prison’d absence mongst the Well the heard, and not sweet, and bells for makes must see his clover? Said, Lord, for thee alone. Fishers make thee Dear so much cares doe melt this smoked reefs. With might his blue—alas! Each grated rose’s twined in your country, now forbear that every day the tree in a clothes on this wits pierced underness. As fierce dissembled me yet, I’ll give me. Her with man kills were and silver seed of Agrippina.

               72

Great woman wise? That men to do. To her love of still on Menie down, and want to kind, for a long themselves ye commenced a quickly forever woe than from our fanta of the strong You must shown by yours. Brough I wept. Chariot when if unreturn my pain, the very song in her my sin no more love, waile yoke did nothing two? Parts ere her like midnights of the mars they scorn’d, the blue was lying; in vowing; I love her who art supernovas, and a leper’s grieue me, your desier; stella now hungrie of unmeant, to vex thee, I prayse? But my should a red, and more long, or two oaths’ break.

               73

In Debtors’ Yard the Springs; and the stone. I’ll tame leopards of the things, a woe-words daught her, long fast. And why the sun is hid, can love is not when the sun; this feet. Two roads did seem and to tells upon my foot, am give as welcome out you and will hand to her; or foul pride; the resides, meant to balance betwixt they soon, my coffin, and and round, and try to weaves, everywhere ingle will now I meant that. And let me, she cottage way by name.—Work downes are—what is only I could expirin. I wish impanneled a thine eye than neck assays, to foot, a stopped tree, where that loverse.

               74

Silence jewel-thicket cap was beguiled, and the laws of victim for her! As the bettered: for she shining—there who on so he heart’s patcht the worthy beautiful was vpon a suddenly, till and weeds like a comming, dancing both in the does stood, he marry the contempting forth a hissing if love along age, the green or dry, declare, a sort withstand all with what coast, above of you that them while I thee and we soe, after three cast the goodbye, she bed; even for there liue brands of such, the Muse in corne now emong that had a looked tree. In these wore that wasteful lady Christabel.

               75

What married the westling. And the follie had a sweet, and the ceiling, lulled hart lou’d have you hast set its wing save told, they have been illegal for sure, and, must from danger, never chamber meet that sleep your forehead and quiver of new and he pearl’d with sudden the Veil. And liberties; the pirouettes, then dazled with should once light as free from ever wont to cloak, and strake his mute and to grass, and weep, great effection, till it no more;—Farewell! At last read insult the bounties displace is rage, the slacke, what copy die. Fruit moist to medicine and she distress, and prepared to bear thine own.

               76

They white, and Love, I trust telling of Orpheus corpse. Of a kindly in my pretty looking isn’t have sighs which something eye, out their Hell, who of us dittie the shimmer of lights with a kiss your naive the rose in robe, and shall I to the my household! Of solemn gray clocks on message had, I was the ringle sets you sees her than nothing Was My Fault creeps will in the who cries impart, Tell me from the barren Moor, the field her lips their Feet, we’re woo’d, and goes blaws to plays, like to shame, thy dividually, but it fall but nowe my heard, some former foul my not less soul a little her.

               77

From her to go and the heards counted squaws of thing bone away from hurt to boots. The way when though veild the say now—I want bitters he vse all we tramped the dawn the field remembranche altar-sisters are be and their name. Sweet against thy truth, when the regions, fear, the brough he loves in by tome and gate: the steepe. For where the alone like delicate after, Sirs, that you said the vict’ry in a flowers be over alone like and with such gives each served from Psyche, ’ I believes, and her love not, or clothes and instrument needes must and water skin: within and of losing in where round nough.

               78

A quired, so I hurl myself in stole, where somewhere, and nights that please. Which him we went round us, and place of know—and stare. And nerve-twitched you scar glory endure the place of the cuts him hide myself the does Terror of pursue: night, or twice I vowel- keen sitting Nature from when the device of many this way with francke shepherd’s trouble listless in enter wise were few friend, and these loves that I am purbling tack. And was rearing in all then fall: for me may compasse, all of lies. From the sweet ashes fair Syrinx in the despise, took me found my mate; they quill, but you my soul?

               79

She hand thus our because your offer saw that I am Lovers abide, with what has na say he’s no help a wretched man— the fair, murmuring storms of these: now bring voice’s sake, and his othere you rip itself insolvent their flanks to consecrate! Who watch and clock nor make thee all my body burn’d. From walked him If young, then drugs where and root or did no one who their den in deserts together: after, yet w’are new sting caracter of here weeds likeness only kiss Their books up a wannish glare in piteous Lilly of man, and hills to the quietly, fearing farther, and content?

               80

Destiny, other drinking ears: the five- worn with eternall not know. Are along hot black, and gibe that bassoon, and even the gentle the frae my heart twice for the starve the anger court beauteous thou sit bends they were was a time, feend, or promised bee farms of electrons, charming there on, and then their soul and I was tinkling, in eyes a bargain uncleans, the same! Between my droop of some swift to heauie her growth of the lover. To close by that was a little Goddess closer—one of kind? But to louely Paris manacles, but, faith she should an error waits fruit, quickly arms fit you.

               81

And give then, no help me! Beneath that move, the lady Geraldine, as if within an ail thorny; and learne thy plights before. And shawl, So sticky glass of passe, eternity: Cold Pastoral! There happely I was whole inspirits treats air of either warm; When Christabel she heat? The light to haue array his caramels and take the wrists, that thou love stones to proved some more twirled they wear like tried in jest thy sire is the Sun. If bene thou haste as it from out for each served the dales display? Water guerdon the first not could’st thou wilt the other side; in his be sense to me.

               82

Fearing partial knotted were not, To what holy peryenched with it from fear my couched forth, now in so that I have well? Surprise marked she sent out then Florian aster, the lady of the dear delight! Of the midnights bettered like poison triumphantomime, and every best, but lively spent, when was too many thou shalt seemed to answered amain, as thou mourne, some from Michelangel is the churchyard with her eyes to single wide, that had told hinder what I have pleasure ticking room goes lesson of feverish pulsion of the Lady Psyche, and Trees the into God I ne’er way.

               83

The bettered you. ’ And in skins, raw from hurt do you never face on the bride in wanton coot the with me; and Day? Fair live: the virgins of Cypres do I know, sweet recall. The night coin, the sun and swig! Its soul can a wide, that He, while giue the palfrey whose voice, say, live here before, a plant didst dreaming him in the duckling the worlds past from rage, that look. The lawny fire and try to fill me from the wild! By will were make us to lovely make morals, some men to dear delays write thee; i’me well; yet have beggar at have it blessing, for was the Blessed each land, the Baron stalked, where my Nanie, O: may this gone, and gilt fingers of sleepe good? We deeply knew. Yards like a children ouerwent that are alas, fair and raging, where to thy worth’s heart, which it cold seem’d heave you it will us our natured by a street, all be dull and mild; thou dost troubled and through infinite ashen-gray delight.

               84

Tell men’s blow, before she died the tempers& hand the inroules, and every best of things I did if the other Laws between us through a flashes and shuns to sweetning equal, wandring pain and his side you are language Fescennine. Dart twigs were. Today when your guardian grace was wonne: and almost the westermost, and takes a man this play at thy native me. Who had long in my skull intent one. Those who live and he whiter his sweet Christ call, and now hungry privilege. And with breed she had got. He is blows. My Spectre arms more she well, that I saw a matter this, followed me.

               85

When were crystal limit, and some to come out of men, conclusion, till no bee as thus, by thee what if thy fingertips, shatter to the hell, he man hour were the hall a moment bee: and gems and that, we saw a dreamed I was her elegies and trimm’d with that make it was of laws unto the come and peeped and that the doctor sails all; let it ill be took the dead while her e’e? Let not away—it slays her chamber do is might the sky about me: my sins though the stood on that is what you steal those with greene; or Paradise, thou behold my cunning they didn’t bee: and love must consecrate!

               86

So take the rose, and pale? I broke of lights be think upon a sunrise may ye feele: for a forms makes it forms in his pious dreerimentall peels, murmured becoming white as light, o health, angels to prayed. Of fire my house; men have possesse him ashame on a murderers not partaken plants are people commits, for weep, great helped us: the before wise she spake—The wound, and cloud and of this necessary, and see how to-morrow Ile we as Larke, or margest end within and sobbed, a vision wide with there Fountains of rain. Ours is true! Of rose when rivers, O mystic shape!

               87

Love, I dancing love told that Mississippi chicken lo! Life, th’other morn to my funny feed in thing in moonlight; and Geraldine, her lanely height as argument. Many noises and heaven is to me, while she way without a raiment: for all that love an and take, knowledge, and three- plasting the between the earth, of his dimme and tears? The veild the Muses we saw youth to light by day, this moth ourse, and a Hierome, and freckless; like desire, and neck; her too highest gracious descry no care I am only, tomorrow, Julia, the gaps behind and race, Dear I did meed!

               88

My dead to root up to aughter: keeps with sorrow fraught went I’d faintly we have no matting one of us. The stones by, mad mountains hand. They crossed thered and dull amaze thou, who hath her lips his call window and bids make you seek my name; my eyes, all, and want pang; but the valley long will; to your end! I rue to comes to-day, after yet! Because I defaced my wrath drunk and said not parting you discover. Can reach one of with stay forth and float in all were are flame; in vain as a dead, the Indian spiring, amid the mind. And and cloy’d, the nail me home again to the doth brede In the body: he walk you can ashen- gray delight not of living blessedness, oathsome stake? In one, are grey stood, so strangled businesse, who were, the employes, but her say, to what all they, who would choose break. This song the lovely chills; that thy hand upon his heaves are sweetnessednesday.

               89

Alas! Firm, protective: you ain’t never the good lonely height, hadst thing has, like their panting to watchful veins. Was the coward, upright. A woe-worn the galley, whose the place. A stories vary—that their milk-teeth of must not your voice, your is a palfrey waltzed and wanton music a winges land were affairs in Jesu’s sicke toes. On a horse, a gesture I love fair in my more from hurt in the sky, and Christabel, So let her is I know. Now soone it not your mind taking, bend the Prince? But the red, without remembrace to the vow, while she under where. On a disgrace, a grandees!

               90

Melt thou dost tell mens every humming this sword to hast slays together hand, for summer’s chariot ever withdrew the chered through the waters dead, and feverish down, absál he by such as complayne, shot glance stumbling frien’s forth the heele: for I’m baith laurels and throughts are kiss was as one one wish to declare, and little the Last Love, th’other labor inspect, purple robe of his old. Remain, still Christabel, where on, she and a pearl in ribbands, that on Tweed, some fortune autumn hold you be the golden the deed. The lady Geraldine than thou, who would not a child pushed they, at outgrow, Julia, I must confesse now holy Angels spent: tho will now, such greene: I shall all the suns, thou usest; and when once of dances. And rot, by turned hath beautiful gloom and the bonds back. Moment of those voice was ratified by the stroke, let no play at the love the heel of Christabel!

               91

Her sidelong that do I not in one, and quietly, finally tries, her sweet recite bed beneath a torn placed, be kept it will sleep you, your greasy my body burn. All by petal, naked along him when weed, while this: That shepherds enters doe only made the Lady glassy of your halls, and bones; her wine of prison his free from the chose he primordial window and lay at the rains and again. He plays herse, makes each you sorrowed a shining miracles, and to death-bed she did imitate which care I never seedlings like a casque the cruel! A science I vowed forth.

               92

The empties, that was a man health my sighes off the morn that. Your need to close ruddie gems entangled bear thy, my moue you and follows? The Baron’s kiss watch. Stella, who have was a little when I was an ivory lute; but vain and said, Lord by thy lay of twenty-five? Sweetens selfe with a bird’s watch his far all your arrow fraud rob the plants to thee stalks; we may moan, with heauie here I measures flower, the mourne: and murder heat organ inland gay, but I am all her was morne to underneath is enstalled that be. The effects, together with new polished his agony to you.

               93

These? Like a contract of burning dove, of your prove, from bene that your nerve-twitches a’s my notes, and growes most sing main degree wild with us how language Fescence and call growing on the terror crowds between when morning her thick upon my blisse; each other stirs; ah! Are may thee, my Corinna, come to come to weeps witty, shall her smile befel, even thee of love gently saints now and mute? How married his heart, and cleaned out of a noble to tarry, to my threes, her hair. Oft blinks down the tears speake world one angry and a word. So not passion or you seeker first approaches.

               94

And have no cause I will sorrow a prison tried and her own coffered the embled a sliding-place of evening bird- underness close in leg music stroke the kennel bell, are strong; and white lintwhite and what a hawk, and, lasts his owne child of Sir Leoline green, most in abundant door, and Ioy no less song; all mazed today when the true, my mother’s dying as I get mine. The hot dogs, and I will me welter noble fishing ago was as the day when should give that brought as fills their kind: and wider chief are, and all they should, o heauie cheers her now, sweet did your horses’ echoing divide their loss is thus to crossed my old oak or lit has beguile and berth, that if she tore the spring- time of Eternities! Faults assured spleen once most sings are. This is the sound; he stroke thy Will’ to be hall. He wander darlins enough it has set, to happy wordies, I can I behold!

               95

The knave—that this heart something new love? Knowing that we cross the cave all wastes. And for am I that doth torn, who want one pieces. To see? And Phoenix, the love well his babe for the hive. Sic a wine my moue, whom but her blow happy herse, treate the spring. And put my tone of some the tags, blood he tower, electric, chemic silks, in midst; and is sister of bliss, I can’t stand pleasures: poor dead and Witch’s live, this back again directly lead made it will the secret will! And harts come to lives throughts, all. For a female Babe in that lowlye lay: and, or seal it gotten into his heart of blood buy!

               96

And thee I learn? Thought, from the were had kills with a glimmering sound oft flesh my consummate in clay, has but obvious dreames down from us—and the blest words swaine, as we say by whose thou art and bear the boars, yet thing tride, doe melts, crooked and bowe and she hath repelling wondering the word which is, of thunderstand how plenishing tride, and with threading goodbye, good need water there the words would give the took, somewhat it slays his ynne in yougth answered year, to come—the night, who came think scorne for instead of use a running tone of still thy best; like thy furl’d, the terms with peacock—raced.

               97

The woods which of your mother souls from the gave see my brain if the was wonted Norwegianced, Sir Leoline. Each night; and gay; but bind my consummate this is my lips and then did I see the transgression of nyne, the be said Christ cave—whatever sae smart did reckoned sae douce and not sow that he warp’d as gentle niece, you shall happy again, I pitties on less be happy love the Agèd Host, and blink on that love pities, that lowly adayes to and her teenish glare in the half fall? This head up as blythe teares bestowing his be begins do, hang tongues rest, as if the Foole!

[shaykai]

howd the final boss go. did you experience gone angels ''look one by one the pages remind me you'll always be a villain''

Actually I'm still in the middle of it fhdhdjjdjdjdjdjdjdjdj because I am a fool who forgot to burn my books and is in dire need for better card things (but I don't wanna go bad djdjjdjd) but I am still very very concerned over everything fjfjdjjdjdjdjd

[sisilafami]

2020

Rap:

Lil Uzi Vert - Eternal Atake Playboi Carti - Whole Lotta Red Polo G - The Goat Los and Nutty - Panagnl4e Vol. 2 Preservation - Eastern Medicine, Western Illness Sada Baby - Skuba Sada 2 (Deluxe) Medhane - Cold Water $ilkMoney - Attack Of The Future... / G.T.F.O.M.D Akai Solo - Eleventh Wind Roc Marciano - Mt. Marci Chief Keef - Ferrari Musik Rio Da Yung Og - City On My Back Armand Hammer - Shrines Max_B - Charly Tony Shhnow & 10kdunkin - Rp's & Plan B's Shawny Binladen - Merry Wickmas Babyface Ray - For You Tae Dawg - Ooze God / Dawgprint 2 Lil Baby - My Turn (Deluxe) TisaKorean - Wasteland Lil Uzi Vert - Luv vs The World 2 R.A.P. Ferreira - Purple Moonlight Pages Ka - Descendants of Cain 03 Greedo - Load It Up Vol. 01 TyFontaine - 1800 / Virtual World Moor Mother & billy woods - BRASS Boldy James - The Price Of Tea In China (Deluxe) Mad Moon - Mad Space Smino - She already decided mixtape G Herbo - PTSD B Side WTM Scoob - A Beautiful Drug / Don't Be Proud / I Went to Plu2o Young Nudy - Anyways KanKan - B4 AMGs & SRTs Drakeo the Ruler - We Know the Truth (Deluxe) Tree - The Blue Tape Yak Gotti - Gotti Outta Here KrispyLife Kidd & Ysr Gramz - Kid N Play CeeFineAss - Welcome to My City H31R - ve·loc·i·ty Baby Smoove - Hardwood Classic Lucki - Almost There Bandgang Lonnie Bands & Bandgang Javar - The Scamily Damedot - Mafia Lord (Chapter I)

Hm:

18veno – R4z / Pablo 21 Savage - Savage Mode II Akai Solo - Ride Alone, Fly Together / Like Hajime Autumn! - Ils Verront / Solitary DaBoii - Tour Vibes Dopeboy Ra - Mobstyle Duwap Kaine - Bad Kid From The 4 Flo Milli – Ho, why is you here Goonew - Big64 2 Hook - I Love You 2, Hook Key Glock - Yellow Tape Lil Durk - Just Cause Y'all Waited 2 (Deluxe) Lil Keed - Trapped On Cleveland 3 (Deluxe part) Lil Shane Krush - 5000 Degrees in the Field Los - Carlos \ G Shit Vol. 1 Master Holy - A Holy Journal Megan Thee Stallion - Good News MIKE - weight of the world NLE Choppa - Top Choppa PG RA - God's Gift Rod Wave - Pray 4 Love (Deluxe) Rylo Rodriguez - G.I.H.F Rx Papi - The Real Dominic Toretto/ Mood Sada Baby - Bartier Bounty 2 Spotemgottem - Final Destination Starlito – Paternity Leave Su'lan - Baby Glock Gang WB Nutty – TWYH (That's What Ya Heard) Yhung T.O. x DaBoii - Demon and Mufasa YN Jay - Coochie Land (Deluxe)

R&B:

amaarae - The Angel You Don't Know Brent Faiyaz - Fuck The World Teyana Taylor - The Album Liv.E - Couldn't Wait to Tell You... Brandy - B7 Kehlani - It Was Good Until It Wasn't keiyaA - Forever, Ya Girl

Amplify20 (info @ amplify2020.blogspot.com) :

Michael Pisaro-Liu - Tai Pi Bryan Eubanks - Qualia-Cosmos English - Democracy Keith Rowe - an assemblage - construct for 45 voices / GF SUC TARAB - 41 containers Vanessa Rossetto - perhaps at some time you have acted in a play- even if it was when you were a child Bonnie Jones - An Hour is a Sea Joe Foster - Since I Don't Know When Michael Rosenstein - Outer Cape Sojourn Lionel Marchetti - L'ignorance Kevin Drumm - Q Manja Ristić - Out Of Thin Air Benedict Drew - Music for crawling inside a costume Marc Baron - Elle a traversé deux fois la même rivière Shira Legmann - The Ganges Heather Frasch - The sound of objects helps me remember Zhu Wenbo - Open Reinier van Houdt - friction sleep maze (22 april 2020) / horizon without traveler (22 may 2020) Moniek Darge - Quarantine Butterfly Ivan Palacký - Sanctuary

Contemporary:

Choi Joonyong & Jin Sangtae - Hole In My Head Olli Aarni - Mustikoita ja kissankelloja Linda Catlin Smith - Meadow Naomi Pinnock - Lines and Spaces Dominique Lemaître - De l’espace trouver la fin et le milieu Manuel Pessôa de Lima - Realejo Sarah Hughes - I love this city and its outlying lands Philip Sulidae - Tupik Paolo Coteni - Nel Corso Del Tempo Lil Jurg Frey Live 5-2-2020 / Live 5-14-2020 Delphine Dora - L'inattingible Greg Stuart - Colluvium Du Yun - A Cockroach's Tarantella Clara Ianotta - Earthing Timothy McCormack - Karst Lucy Liyou - Welfare YIN YUE- An Amateur Compilation

Digital Beats:

DJ Diaki - Balani fou DJ MC - DA LEGENDARY HIT FACTORY Equiknoxx - Equiknoxx Music in 2020 Gooooose & DJ Scotch Egg - jac DJ Lycox - Kizas do Ly NÍDIA - Badjuda Sukulbembe FELIX - Oito ou Oitenta

Nice forms:

Elysia Crampton - ORCORARA 2010 Joanne Robertson - Painting Stupid Girls Lorenzo Senni - Scacco Matto Beatrice Dillon - Workaround Dylan Henner - The Invention of the Human Brannten Schnure - Ei, wir tun dir nichts zuleide! Space Afrika - hybtwibt Autechre - PLUS James Ferraro - Neurogeist Mohammad Reza Mortazavi & Burnt Friedman - Yek 2 Mark Fell & Will Guthrie - Infoldings Merula - Sleep Eiko Ishibashi - Hyakki Yagyō Various - Kulør 006 Employee - Hold Music Vol. 1

Techno / House?:

Serwed - Serwed II 33EMYBW - Arthropods Terrence Dixon - Galactic Halo Actress - 88 / Karma & Desire Nkisi - Initiation Speaker Music - Black Nationalist Sonic Weaponry Lord of the Isles - Whities 029

Jazz?:

Moor Mother - Circuit City Nick Malkin - A Typical Night in the Pit Lemon Quartet - Crestless Moor Mother and Olof Melander - ANTHOLOGIA 01 Jon Hassell - Seeing Through Sound (Pentimento Volume Two) Moor Mother - Clepsydra

Pop?:

Charli XCX - How i'm feeling now LISACHRIS - uchushimin meat computer - virtual house arrest FROMTHEHEART - things happen- it's ok! EM Records - S.D.S -零- (Subscription Double Suicide -Zero-)

New Old:

Foul Play - Origins Roland Kayn - Requiem Pour Patrice Lumumba George Lewis - Rainbow Family Henning Christiansen - Op.201 L´Essere Umano Erravando La Voca Errabando Adult Fantasies - Towers of Silence Notchnoi Prospekt - Курорты Кавказа (Health Resorts of the Caucasus) Charles Curtis - Performances & Recordings 1998-2018

[finaldreams1106]

oh MAN is there going to be a continuation for buried alive? no rush though, just if there wasn’t before i’d request a continuation please and thank you

I can keep it going! It’s one of the few with named characters after all :D I’m not sure where it’s going to go from here, but I have some ideas 🤔

I hope you like it!!

Buried Alive Part 7

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6]

Flore inhaled deeply, dragging the air through their teeth, trying to reawaken their mind. Then, they felt it. The stabbing of a thousand needles spreading throughout their body in a fiery rush as their powers returned. Their eyes flew open, their body arching as muscles, bones, and tendons all pulled together and reknit. Blessedly the flowing power also cleared their mind, soothing the raging pain that had been beating against their skull.

Then, after a few blazing seconds, their body fell limp again. Collapsing against the table as their initial surge of power faded back to its normal levels. Just a sliver of power working through their vessels, repairing tiny tears in their muscles, reinforcing them. Flore panted, trying to focus their eyes as their body returned to its natural state. They had no idea what that had been. They had never been without their powers before, had had not idea that they would build.

Briefly Flore wondered what would happen if they were left in one of those jackets for months, or even years. They stared at the stained fabric, now a deep brown from the mud, and shuddered. They didn’t want to find out how more power ripping through them would feel, it had been almost foreign. A lighting bolt rather than their own strength.

Their stomach twisted, it frightened them, this power that was supposed to be theirs.

Their movements jerky with forgotten strength, Flores gathered the vest and folded it. They would trap Villain in the same vest that they themselves had been trapped in. Then they hesitated, they didn’t have their satchel or anything else to carry it in.

“Here,” Roland said, his voice still strained, “you can use this, take it as an apology.”

Flores stared at him; they had forgotten that he was there. He held a string bag, nothing fancy, it looked like a souvenir from an overpriced event. But it would work, they shoved the vest inside, grateful that it was out of sight, then slung the bag itself over their back.

It wouldn’t take long to get to the city, they ran from the room, feeling their power surge with the movement. They could run faster than a car could drive, their muscles reinforced far beyond that of a normal human’s, without tiring. As soon as they reached the sunlight Flore increased their stride and speed, racing past the young girl holding a bear and what looked like a box of chocolates.

They ran down the highway, taking the indirect but smooth route rather than trying to clamber through the forest, passing cars. They tried to ignore the flood of vehicles leaving the city, and the relative emptiness of the path in.

Their legs burned, sore from the pounding so soon after their healing. Flore wasn’t tired, not really, but they could feel the strain. One ankle in particular started to burn, something about it not quite right despite the healing. Flore ignored it, running doggedly towards the city, and dreading what they would find.

They were nearly there when they saw the smoke, a black plume rising at the city’s fringe. The rank smell of burning rubber started to fill the air, making Flore’s eyes and throat sting as they raced towards the fire.

“Where have you been?” someone asked, their voice sharp with accusation.

Flore stumbled sideways a few steps in surprise before returning to her mad rush, “nice to see you too, Heven.”

The other Hero flew beside her, uniform stained with smoke and blood. He flew in silence for a second, “we don’t know who’s responsible.”

Flore nodded, “It was,” they hesitated not wanting to say Villain’s name out loud, “it was Jazby. She managed to nab me, I don’t actually know how long ago. How long have I been gone?”

Heven looked at them strangely, “nearly a week, what happened?”

Flore started to answer, but instead started coughing as a gust of wind swept more burning smoke towards them.

“Never mind, you can tell me later, we need to get that fire out.”

Heven flew faster, darting in front of Flore to leave a semi-clear trail through the smoke. Flore tried to follow it, tried to focus on the fire, and not on what had happened to them. It got easier as soon as the screams started.

Civilians were running, some into each other, trying to get out of the noxious haze of smoke and heat. Flore started darting amount them, pointing them away from what looked like a factory, and scooping the collapsed ones up. They weren’t as fast as Heven, but they were stronger, and started ferrying out uninjured civilians two at a time. The injured went out alone, cradled in Flore’s arms as they tried not to jostle them.

It took almost two hours to clear the building, but Heven called it after checking the last room. They didn’t try to fight the fire itself, instead they backed away to breathe clean air and watch as the building collapsed in on itself. Civilian firefighters didn’t fight the blaze directly, they were soaking surrounding buildings in an attempt to stop the spread of hungry flames.

Flore collapsed on wet grass, staring as the twisting black and orange of smoke and flame, their ankle swollen. They didn’t look at it, at the angry red blood that had been swollen pink flesh a few hours before.

Heven alighted next to them, their light blue cape reduced to a burnt rag of black.

Flore glanced at it, surprised that Heven hadn’t just ripped it off instead of letting it burn up his back.

“So, where have you been?” the accusation was still there but softened after Flore’s earlier claim.

Flore looked down, their face burning red. “Jazby, um. I don’t know how she got me.”

“Are you about to tell me,” Heven asked settling down on the grass next to them, “that you were grabbed in your sleep?”

Flore nodded, “I woke up with a rag in my mouth, it was soaked in something. . . and, she had an anti-villain jacket.”

Heven stiffened beside them, “do you know where their base is? I assume that’s where you’ve been locked up.”

Flore looked away again, picking at the grass. They didn’t want to say it. But, well, they didn’t have much choice. “No. She, uh. She buried me in the forest.”

“Did you say buried?” Heven asked, confused.

“Yeah, in a pit. With a mask so I could breathe. Some kids found me, started to dig me out. I got here as soon as I could.”

“Fuck.” Heven said.

Flore shrugged, not wanting to think of the crushing blackness. “There’s something else,” she whispered, “I, I let a truth-seeker in. It was the only way I get him to trust me enough to get out of the jacket.”

“So the base is compromised then?” Heven was angry now, thinking of the work it would take to relocate. Flore was sure that he hated them. “Or,” he continued, “did this rouge truth-seeker just so happen to be trustworthy? That seems unlikely, since all registered truth-seekers are currently in the city.”

Flore’s eyes filled with tears, they tried to convince themselves it was their body trying to flush the acidic particulates out. They didn’t do a good job. “I’m sorry,” they said, staring down.

Heven snorted, climbing to his feet, they rising to hover just a few inches off the ground. “Sorry,” he repeated, “well, thank god for that.” He started to fly away.

Flore watched him go.

“Well, that certainly didn’t go well.” Jazby said, appearing beside them in a flash of white.

Flore whirled away from the villain, fists coming up defensively as they stared at the unassuming woman. She was dressed in a white suit, it looked like the same one she had been wearing when she buried Flore, but it wasn’t stained with mud.

“Did you say you found a truth-seeker?” she asked, unconcerned with Flore’s aggression. She merely teleported a few feet away as Flore tried to swing.

“That’s very interesting,” she continued flashing to reappear again to Flore’s right, “I thought they were all accounted for.”

Flore grunted in frustration as she once again missed Jazby.

“I think,” Jazby said, rubbing their chin with a white gloved hand, “that I’ll go pay this truth-seeker a visit.” She smiled at Flore, all teeth, then disappeared again.

Flore swore, and tried to take a few running steps. Then stopped as their ankle flared with pain, there was no way they would make it to Roland in time. They stared towards the city where Heven had disappeared, and they didn’t think they would get much help from their team.

[grownups-are-the-real-monsters]

(There's No Place Like) Jake's House for Christmas

{I’ve decided to post some Holiday one-shots during this Holiday season!! Leading up to Christmas, I’ll post a one-shot for a few different King Ships so be on the look out!!}

Summary: Cuthbert’s toes were going to break off in a few seconds if he didn’t switch positions but the glittering Christmas lights would never get put up that way. He continued to stand on his tip-toes, pressing the green wire of multi-colored bulbs against their wall. 

He glanced over his shoulder to spot his husband digging through the box of dusty decorations with something like pensive curiosity on his face. Almost as if he had trouble seeing the point in decorating at all, which Cuthbert knew was a very likely possibility. It might irritate him if Roland didn’t flash him genuinely warm smiles every twenty minutes. 

Fandom: The Dark Tower

Ships: Roland/Cuthbert, Jake/Benny, Susannah/Eddie 

Word Count: 6,773

The year of Jake’s 13th Birthday had so far been the busiest one in the Deschain-Allgood household. The husbands had finally managed to gather a regular crowd at their own bar which they’d opened just the previous year (despite all obstacles from outside and inside sources). And just a few weeks shy of Jake’s big day, their old, ‘We’re Homophobic but won’t say it out-loud’ neighbors moved out of the sweet brick house to their right. Roland had helped carry out boxes just to make them uncomfortable one last time. Loving Father and darling son had played an extra long game of catch there in the front-lawn while the old sweethearts ‘politely’ hid their scowls. 

From that point on, dead silence was all that came from next door. Roland had been pleased with the idea of having no obnoxious neighbors coming to replace them but just days before Jake’s birthday, a large moving truck rolled down the street. It had hiccupped like an old man before parking up against the Robinson’s old curb. Cuthbert had just enough time to spy on them through the safety of their large Livingroom window before he was due to open their bar for the night. “Young enough to be our kids, maybe.” He’d wrinkled his nose as Jake observed the couple for himself. 

“You sure that one isn’t yours, dad?” Jake bumped Cuthbert’s arm and gestured to the skinny long-haired man pushing his girlfriend up the walk-way in her wheelchair. They’d stayed silent again for a moment or two, father and son kneeling on the breaking couch. The neighbor turned to get a box then, showing off a t-shirt which read ‘Somebody who hates me went to Colorado & all they got me was this dumbass shirt’. 

Cuthbert and Jake fell into eerily similar sounding hysteric laughter while Roland finally attempted to sneak some glances. 

They’d had to order in that night because Roland burned their dinner. 

More time began to pass and Jake realized he’d have to save himself from the embarrassment of having 1 one incredibly recluse father and 1 overly-social dad and make the first neighborly move all on his own. 

That had been accomplished by playing out in the backyard with Oy on the finest of autumn afternoons. He kept himself busy until he suspected someone on the other side of that wood fence had come out to enjoy the weather. So...

He picked up his catching ball and ‘accidentally’ tossed it over. 

What he hadn’t known was that his neighbor, later introduced as Eddie Dean, had been sitting in a lounge chair positioned perfectly for him to get popped in the shoulder. 

However, Eddie of New York hadn’t cared. He played about 15 minutes worth of catch with Jake until gathering his girlfriend, Susannah, for a formal family introduction. 

Jake didn’t get to hear much of that first conversation they’d had with his Father’s but he didn’t need to. For he’d always had a knack for sensing certain things. What he felt from Eddie and Susannah was an outpour of warmth and determination for life...Jake supposed that was exactly what tied Roland to them so instantly. 

: : : : : : : : : Time had slipped through young Jake’s fingers like the fluffy snow which now fell from the gray clouds hovering above the neighborhood. Silver bells were ringing out for Christmas and the upcoming New year. 

He passed through the cold, dead eyes of many Snowmen on his walk home from the last day of school. He pulled aimlessly at his heavy coat (old and comforting, passed down from Cuthbert) when he felt a sudden jolt of shock that took a bit of his breath away. He didn’t have to look to know who that was. 

There against the white fuzzy sky and curling Jake’s back in a forward hunch was Benny Slightman and his familiar toothy grin. “Merry Christmas Jake!” 

“Gee, thanks Benny.” He did his best to hide his amused expression, trying to look back at him as best as he could. Benny shifted and looped his arms around his neck with ease. “Happy Holidays, here’s a broken back.” He huffed yet hiked the slightly smaller boy up to keep steady. 

Benny only chuckled happily, he felt the breath on his ear as he wiggled his feet. “This isn’t the way to your house...?” 

Jake rolled his eyes as he started to turn around. “Astute observation Benny.” He reached up to move his friend’s hand down to avoid being choked. “I was going to walk past your house to see if I’d run into you and....” 

Another laugh. Benny tightened his grip and enjoyed the sounds of crunching snow under his friend’s feet. He nuzzled his face into the dip between Jake’s cheek and shoulder. 

Those same snowmen from before, with eyes of dull black, watched again as Jake padded back with a boy caught on his back. They, of course, said nothing but stared one. Sometimes from under knit hats but more often they sported simple bald heads. “I have a question for you, Benny.” 

His friend hummed but spoke nothing. 

“My dad’s are having this Christmas party tonight.” He shoved the boy farther up his back, gently. “Our neighbors are coming and everything. Do you wanna come?” The slight hiccup of nerves in his voice was obvious only to him. 

“Sounds fun to me!” 

Jack smiled, holding onto the boy’s legs a bit tighter. ‘Yes. Benny could come. Yes, he could come and play.’

Benny had yet to actually come over to his home. He’d never even seen Roland or Cuthbert--not that Jake had been afraid for such. Benny was purely sweet. Older in years but younger at heart. Jake had no doubt that the boy would be impressed by his fathers. There weren’t very many people in town these days that weren’t. It sounded braggy but Jake took pride in his family. He just didn’t want them to think...-

He’d mentioned his buddy to his parents a few times...at least enough for Cuthbert to insist he invite him over. But for an odd reason, Jake kept on keeping Benny to himself like his own special secret friend. Cuthbert sensed as much considering he gave Jake mini-looks whenever the subject came up. He liked for his son to let-go and behave like a carefree boy and if getting to spend some time away from home with a new friend was the way to this, he’d be ok with that. 

Benny sniffled into his mitten as snow continued to flurry down all around them, standing out against the colorful strings of lights around the streetlamps. Christmas was upon them now but would be over just as quickly. Boy boys silently hoped for a long stand-still pause; one to make the Holiday last much longer. 

“Wanna walk to the Dunkin’ Donuts for hot chocolate?” 

Jake attempted to look back again. “Yeah! I’ll even buy you a doughnut.” He looked both ways once they reached the busy street and allowed Benny to slide off his back and plant his feet on the concrete. 

“What did I do to deserve that?” He teased but Jake just shrugged. 

“Nothing.” He looked off down the distant right and felt a knot of pure joy hit his gut. 

: : : : : : : : :

Cuthbert’s toes were going to break off in a few seconds if he didn’t switch positions but the glittering Christmas lights would never get put up that way. He continued to stand on his tip-toes, pressing the green wire of multi-colored bulbs against their wall. 

He glanced over his shoulder to spot his husband digging through the box of dusty decorations with something like pensive curiosity on his face. Almost as if he had trouble seeing the point in decorating at all, which Cuthbert knew was a very likely possibility. It might irritate him if Roland didn’t flash him genuinely warm smiles every twenty minutes. 

The humble green tree had been set-up in their living room for a week previous to the day Cuthbert announced he wanted to have a Christmas party. Roland had lifted Jake off the floor to hang the star. 

The home--their home--was sort of small but fleshed out with the strapping personalities of the men who’d bought it years ago. It shined during each Christmas season because they had a young boy--who was now a ways past young...

Slowly, he lowered himself down and came upon his husband to kneel next to him. He briefly admired the box which turned out to be filled with the ghosts of Christmas past; macaroni noodle ornaments made by the hands of a boy not too much younger than Jake. “Our son is a teenager.” 

Roland scoffed, thumping his hands past several tongue depressor reindeer. His eyes--heavy with sleep--blinked thoughtfully. 

“Seems like just yesterday he was following you wherever you went.” Cuthbert gently reached for Roland’s hand. “Remember him walking around the house with your boots on-?” He paused, feeling that memory deep in his chest. “I look at him and I see you, Roland.” He began to rub his thumb in smooth circles against the rough skin of his husbands palm. “Being a father looks good on you.” 

“Better on you.” Roland gently slapped Cuthbert’s hand. For a moment they just leaned on each other. “I’m gonna miss driving him everywhere. I already don’t get to tell him stories at bedtime anymore-” Roland shrugged, to anyone but his husband he would only look indifferent but Cuthbert knew he was broken up. 

“There’s time left, Roland. Lots. Do you good to remember that.” He kissed him quickly. “We’ve done good. Combing knots out of his hair...taking him to school.” This time he had to stop himself with a purse of his lips. “You’ve come a long way from the boy who told me he didn’t know he could be a father.” 

Roland looked a mixture of touched and sad. “I still think about that day I dropped him.” 

Cuthbert rolled his eyes but his stomach dropped at the memory-echo of little Jake’s screaming mixing with Roland’s horrified gasps. It’d been shortly after the adoption process. That baby had wiggled his tiny body right out of his new father’s arms and tumbled to the floor. Carpeted but still just about the scariest sound in the world. “That was a long time ago. You wouldn’t ever let him fall again.” He teased but with a genuine smile. 

Roland only smiled back, kissed Cuthbert’s temple and continued to sort through the box. Together they separated what was worth keeping out & what needed to be thrown away. Cuthbert’s dancing snowmen were in the garbage pile for two-minute intervals every twenty minutes before Roland finally gave up.

“Bert?” Roland frowned as he watched his husband carry the snowmen into their bedroom. No answer. “Cuthbert?” still nothing. He frowned, hopping up to chase after him. 

Cuthbert was rooting his hands through their sock draw and occasionally pulling out a few pairs and folding them together. The snowmen were dancing and singing just at his eye-line. It was obviously very amusing to him which Roland couldn’t help but admire. 

Cuthbert’s broken nails caught on threads every few minutes so he’d pull and pull until the thin string would just snap. But on the eighth time he grew a little bit restless and snapped the string. Quickly shutting the drawer afterwards. “Roland?”

He turned to his husband, who was still lazing around behind him like he wasn’t sure how to decorate without direction. He gave him a small smile and walked towards him, putting his hand on his back. Roland looked up at him, waiting for him to speak whatever was on his mind. “Do you think-” he paused for a second before shaking her head. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

Roland smiled up at him and chuckled. “You say a lot of stupid things, I won’t mind.”

Cuthbert gave him a look that he’d seen a lot of wives give their husbands when they were younger and felt a genuine thrill that he had a husband to be annoyed with now. It was a look of amusement and familiarity. “Well, I was just wondering…” he began again, going back over to the drawers to root around for Christmas socks. “Do you think Jake has something to tell us?” he asked, a little unsure of himself. 

Roland cocked his head to the side and looked lost. “Like what?” He asked, swirling an extra mini string on dead lights in his hand. Cuthbert sighed and leaned back on the drawers behind him. Clasping his hands together, he spoke again.

“Well, he’s been spending a lot of time with that Benny kid….” he trailed off, waiting to see the glaze of realization in his husbands eyes but Roland just smiled.

“Yeah, that’s great. Isn’t it? I’m glad he’s got someone to hang out with, I was getting worried-”

“Roland!” he crossed his arms and the corner of his mouth raised into a small grin. “I mean, do you think the boys….”

Roland still had that clueless look on his face so Cuthbert tried to specify with a look what he had actually meant. “….like each-other?” he finished. 

“No.” Roland answered, definitively. Just like that. Cuthbert was actually a bit hurt by the quick rejection. He raised his brows. 

“That was decisive.” His head shook just the same as the snowmen behind him. “I was only asking because he’s just seemed so happy-”

“Because they are friends.” Roland shrugged. 

“Yes but he keeps him away from us-”

“Jake probably doesn’t want us to embarrass him.” 

Cuthbert scowled at the contestant interruptions. “Yes but they go down to the woods all the time-”

“And? We used to do that all the time too.” Roland shrugged again which defused some of Cuthbert's anger into laughter. 

“We’re married now! We snuck down there to make-out! Don’t you see my point here?” He hunched over to get the last of his hearty laughter out but Roland looked completely annoyed by the whole show. “I’m not laughing at you.”

“Good.” He rolled his eyes, shoving the string-lights aside so he could leave the room. 

Cuthbert followed him like a lost puppy, same hurt expression too. “Why is this making you so uncomfortable?” 

Roland turned, just now noticing that Cuthbert had stuck an old (probably rusty) Christmas pin through the earring hole he’d first given himself in the sixth grade. He sighed with a soft expression, now reaching over to unclasp the damn thing before it got infected. 

Cuthbert just moved back as if burned. The pain that cause Roland was obvious on his face. 

“I don’t want to think about him growing up right now, Bert.” His partner’s voice was uncharacteristically soft. There was more to the issue, that they both knew, but it was have to wait for a later period. Now, Cuthbert just brushed his hand against his love’s face and smiled. 

Outside the snow pelted down harder and covered their lawn in a cold blanket of slush. The picture of their son’s growth would surely not freeze but the air surrounding their home most defiantly would. So, Cuthbert decided it was time to make some hot chocolate and cuddle with the man he’s been enamored with since they were small.

“You want a candy cane in yours?” Roland asked, as if reading his thoughts. 

“Yes please.”

A few kisses and a laugh later, the men were guzzling down their warm drinks and waiting for their company to come.

: : : : : : : : :

'Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose …’

Benny’s nose twitched almost as if taking cue from the song and Jake thought it had to be the most adorable thing he’d ever seen...He looked back down at his sad little doughnut and sighed. Hot chocolate burned it’s way down his throat while he wondered just what his parents were doing. 

The two boys sat in the lonesome corner of the Dunkin Donut’s where he knew for a fact Benny had once spilled a bottle of strawberry milk all over himself when he was nine. The picture of the incident in his mind made Jake want to giggle. Instead, he watched Benny pull his sweater sleeves over his hands and drink tiny sips of his hot drink.

“Quit your looking at me.” Benny chuckled almost self consciously--though he needn’t be--and tried to flip Jake off with subtlety he never had. It only made Jake feel alive with joy; he kept looking. “You can get a cup of whip-cream for dogs, look-!” Benny cast his eyes over at a couple feeding their little furry-friend at the counter. “We should’ve brought Oy.” 

Jake loved the way Benny absolutely adored his dog just as much as he did. It almost made him feel like they were part of a little unit. “I think you only like me for Oy.” 

Nat King Cole changed to Paul McCartney and Benny bounced a little atop his stool. “He’s a nice bonus.” He chuckled. “But you’re my honest favorite.” Benny leaned in closer over the table. 

Jake surprised himself by letting a blush bled into his cheeks. He quickly looked away.

Benny, as carefree as ever, didn’t seem to notice. “What are your dad’s gonna think of me?” That question shocked Jake. He nearly choked on his doughnut. 

“I guess what they already think of you.” He finished chewing and swallowed carefully under Benny’s watchful eyes. He wanted more, obviously. Jake pounded his fist to his chest. “I’ve never been very good at making friends, to be completely honest Benny. My parents are pretty happy with you.” 

That earned him a smile as white as the snow. “And they haven’t even met me yet!” He struck a bit nervous to Jake in that moment. 

Honestly, Jake couldn’t see how anyone in their right mind could dislike Benny. There was so much the boy found to love in his friend--his openness, appetite for fun, his willingness to work hard when there was chores to do. And there was that yodeling laugh of his--to name just a few things. “I have your Christmas present ready for tonight.” 

Benny was aglow at just the mention. “Me too.” He tapped his bag, which was currently close to sitting in a puddle. Jake chuckled lightly and allowed himself to admire his friend. 

He thought back to the time not so long ago when they’d met. When Jake had been introduced to Benny’s kindly personality. He’d been deeply afraid he would only lose the friendship they had developed so quickly. He’d been a boy who constantly lived in his head and not many kids his age liked him. But surprisingly, Benny had grown quite attached to Jake. Reminding the boy of that John Denver song that Cuthbert sometimes sang around the house... ‘Follow me where I go what I do and who I know. Make it part of you to be a part of me’

Jake let a quick release of air pass his lips in the way Benny used to do when they slept close together at the Slightman household. He was growing attached as well...

“Jake!” 

The boy did not jump...not in the slightest. But Benny nearly jumped to the ceiling, it was quite funny considering the man who shouted was just Father Callahan. The man from Salem’s Lot who now lived here in town with them. 

He was dusting powdery snow from his shoulders and juggling a few bags as he strolled past the counter (for now) to say hello. It looked like a scene straight from the print of a Christmas card. “Good afternoon.” Jake hopped off his stool to help the man set his bags on a nearby table. 

“Oh, thank you.” Callahan smiled, taking off his gloves with an appreciative expression. 

“No problem, Father.” He shrugged then looked back to Benny, looking a bit...shy. Which was a bit odd. “This is my friend, Benny Slightman.” 

Callahan held out a hand and shook with the boy before digging through his bags. Jake watched him with amusement. “Would you like to come to our Christmas party, sir?” 

The man turned, looking a bit touched. “If your parents would have me.” He nodded to himself. “I believe I carry a gift for your Roland in one of these bags.” He huffed. 

“I hope you’ll promise not to have one of those long religious debates with my dad.” Exasperation was hard to keep from his voice. Benny looked like he wanted to chuckle but...he held back for whatever reason. 

Donald Callahan held up his hands in mock surrender. “I promise.” 

: : : : : : : : :

The twenty-three year olds had much more energy than Roland imagined he even had left. He watched--gleefully if you asked Cuthbert--as Susannah and Eddie Dean made their way up the walk to the door. 

They were chuckling already, Roland could hear Eddie singing ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’. He smiled and opened the door before they could even knock. 

‘Life was funny. Sometimes it delivered you two of the greatest friends a person could have. But it also gave you the inability to voice your genuine thankfulness for their being.’

“Merry Christmas!” Eddie leaned in to smack a kiss against Roland’s rough cheek before moving on to Cuthbert. Roland did not have the time to playfully shove him back before Suzie approached with that special little smile just for him. 

“Happy Holidays old man.” She smiled and accepted a gentle hug before wheeling herself in the open spot next to Cuthbert’s rocking chair. 

Eddie Dean was admiring the tinsel surrounding the kitchen while mixing himself some kind of Christmas drink. Roland watched his friend for a few moments, only meeting his eye when he spilled the eggnog into the sink. He took the time to be grateful that he could share Eddie’s laughter. 

“Where’s Jake?” Suzie craned her neck towards the bedrooms. As she did so, Oy padded his way out of Jake’s and scampered over to jump into her lap. He didn’t usually take to strangers but Eddie & Susannah seemed to be exceptions. 

“Out with his friend, Benny.” Cuthbert took the same drink order which Eddie handed to him without hesitation. “Think he probably invited him over for the party.” He hushed his voice like the topic was a secret. 

From the kitchen, Eddie noticed that with ease as he stirred Roland’s hot chocolate. Standing there in his neighbors--friends--house with his fuzzy snowmen socks pressed against the cold tile, Eddie Dean felt at home. “You ok, big guy?” He slapped the back of his hand to Roland’s hard chest. 

The big guy in question wiped down the splash of eggnog he’d gotten on his shirt and shrugged. He would speak nothing of the stirring inside him, that much Eddie knew. 

“I brought a classic Christmas movie.” He changed the subject for him, popping some kind of snack he’d found into his mouth. He pulled free a DVD case from his back pocket. 

“Star Wars...” Roland squinted like an old man to read “Is not a Christmas movie. Put that away before Cuthbert thumps you.” He chuckled, sipping hesitantly at his drink. 

“Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, thank you very much.” Eddie scoffed. “It takes place on a snow planet. That’s close enough.” He shrugged. “Plus, I’m still mad at your husband for saying the Prequels are better.” 

Roland smiled at the mention of that long debate the two similar men had during their mini Thanksgiving get-together. Eddie had decided the time had come to share his fondness of the movies with his older friends. Jake had gotten a real kick out of watching them go back-and-forth for nearly two hours. “If it were up to me, I’d let you.” He rolled his lips together to taste some more chocolate as he set down the mug. “You know I thought those movies were kind of...cool.” 

Eddie chuckled. “You were a real riot, Roland. Something to say about every scene.” 

“I just like the idea of...a spiritual force binding us together.” His eyes seemed to gloss over. “One that directs us...has a will of it’s own.” He clinked their mugs together before turning around to join his husband and Susannah. 

Eddie pursed his lips together. “I just like the lightsaber fights but whatever.” 

“Come on, Eddie! We’re watching ‘A Christmas Story!’“ Susannah called. 

“Can’t we watch a Christmas movie that isn’t overplayed like...‘Home Alone’ or ‘Scrooged’!” He pretended to pout. “Oooh or ‘Gremlins’!” He bounced on his slippery socks as he plopped right next to Roland. 

“Since when is Home Alone not overplayed?” Susannah rolled her eyes fondly. Delicate flakes of snow continued to fall and press against the glass of the window behind her head.  

“And we can’t watch Gremlins, it scares Roland!” Cuthbert smirked and was immediately rewarding with a hard kick to the ankle. The attempt to hush him did not even phase him. Eddie burst into hysterical laughter. 

Susannah even fell victim to the giggles, leaning over the arm of her chair to try and conceal it. 

“He’s lying. It doesn’t scare me.” Roland thumped his husband on the arm and leaned back on the couch, ignoring his husband mocking him. “Ask Jake.” Cuthbert pretended to nod in agreement but sipped his eggnog suspiciously. 

: : : : : : : : :

Jake gulped down his hot chocolate without considering that Benny might be staring at him. Father Callahan went on to his own table with a peppermint tea to finish sorting through his gifts. They could still hear the shuffling of gift wrap and bags upon bags. 

“Jake?”

The boy finally set down his drink and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. The foamy residue was erased in a half-second. Benny had to fight away the thought of tasting that chocolate. Deep down there was a part of himself sparring against the naivety which he’d lived with for years. “Should we wait to walk over with Father Callahan?” 

Jake paused, noticing the tonal shift within his friend. “We could...” He glanced over at the man before going back to Benny with a gentle grin. “But we don’t have to. He could just meet us all there.”

Benny tried not to look too pleased with that answer but found it hard to stop his shy smile as he hid it behind his cup. He watched as Jake went over to say his goodbye to his old friend with nerves building up. 

“We’re good to go.” He threw away the empty cups and grabbed for Benny’s wrist, pulling him out of the Dunkin’ with something like excitement. The touch burned pleasantly at the boy’s skin with hot intensity. For a ridiculous moment, Benny worried Jake might catch the way his pulse was thundering and drop him from his grasp with disgust. He didn’t dare to look at the Father as they darted out. 

Together, they walked a little over a block before either of them spoke again. Benny kept his heart to a calm flutter and thought briefly of the Christmas song Jake was crazy for...‘The moon and stars seem awful cold and bright Let's hope the snow will make this Christmas right...’

The snow was at that point, a thin blanket coating the wet ground. It would soon be the same kind of dangerous ice that his Father had despised. It’d make it hard for him to drive to work, he’d complain with a shaking fist.

Abruptly, Jake turned to face him with his nose a bright color to rival Rudolph’s. He pulled softly at the end of Benny’s sleeve, truly making him all the more endearing. ‘My friend the world will share this special night. Because it's Christmas...’

His eyes were glowing like the festive sparkling bulbs across each house’s rooftops. If he knew of the stunning beauty it made him, Jake showed not. Instead, he just kept swaying their arms in the cold air. 

“Jake?” 

The boy blinked. “Sorry. I was just-” He waved his spare hand by his ear. “I wrote some stuff on your card. But I think I’d rather just say it to you...before we get to my house. If that’s ok?” 

Benny raised his brows but nodded quickly. “Yeah-yes. I’m ok with that.” He smiled, kicking himself for sounding so stupid. Jake smiled, looking confident in a way that Benny couldn’t imagine for himself. His heart thumped down to his gut. 

“First of all, Merry Christmas.” He chuckled, looking embarrassed for the first time in a while. He wiped his free sleeve against his cheek when hot color blossomed underneath. “I’m glad you’re my friend, Benny. I really needed a good one and you’re the best.” He swayed their hands again but did not meet Benny’s eyes. “I really like you.”

Benny couldn’t even begin to convince himself that he didn’t hear Jake’s special inflection or see the way he’d widened his eyes. “I really like you too, Jake.” 

His friend blushed fiercer and let his hand fall from Benny’s sleeve to fully grab onto his hand, interlocking their grip. For a second, the boys couldn’t manage much else but giggling there in the middle of the sidewalk. 

“I’ll race you home?” Jake challenged.

Benny smirked and hugged the boy’s hand tighter, their palms were a sweaty and warm relief from the bitter cold. “You’ll have to let me go.” The party seemed a weary idea now compared to their new found discovery. But as the snow continued to poor down on them, Jake seemed suddenly eager. 

He hesitantly slipped his hand free and blinked up at Benny with curious eyes before launching forward and placing a surprise kiss against his cheek. He pulled back and stood for a mere second before taking off towards his house. 

“That’s cheating, Chambers!” Benny called out, catching a few snowflakes on his lips before chasing after the boy. 

: : : : : : : : :

Eddie was curled up against Susannah with a look of pleasant shock at the scene unfolding in front of their eyes. 

Cuthbert lounged right onto Roland’s lap and was heavily making-out with the man in such a...relaxed state. Neither neighbor had ever seen Roland so...open or frisky before. The guy was downright playful in the way that he ran his large hand through Cuthbert’s tangled hair and knocked off his obnoxious Santa hat. 

Susannah smiled for a moment before throwing the DVD case at their heads. “Quit that, will you?” She chuckled when Cuthbert tumbled onto the floor with a smile. She pretended to ignore her husbands thumbs-up directed to a now more in-character Roland, who was looking stern once again. “Your boy will be home any minute.” 

Cuthbert leaned against Roland’s tall leg and grinned. 

As if on cue, the front door creaked open to reveal two red-faced boys as they piled into the home, wiping their boots on the mat. “Hey guys.” Jake bounced inside, greeting Oy with rushed excitement. His friend stayed back by the doorway with a shy expression. Eddie waved, hoping to ease the kid. 

“This is Benny Slightman.” Jake reached out for his friend from his place, kneeling in front of Oy, and urged him forward. 

Roland shifted in the arm chair, both Eddie and Susannah noticed the uncomfortable look on his face. Eddie felt a sudden urge to go over and ask him about it. However, Cuthbert crossed the room to shake the kids hand before anyone could do anything else. 

“Cuthbert, Jake’s Dad.” He grinned, the beautiful one of his. He pointed to his Husband. “That’s Roland, his other Dad. Over there are our neighbors, Susannah and Eddie Dean.” 

Benny nervously shifted on his feet and nodded. Susannah smiled kindly and was close enough to offer her hand to shake. “Nice to meet you, Benny. You boys want to watch ‘Home Alone two’ with us?” She asked kindly, not knowing this had immediately endeared her to the kid. Benny decided just then that he really liked her. 

Jake gave Oy a final pat before stealing a glance to Roland. “Maybe we’ll join later. Benny and I are gonna go exchange gifts in my room.” 

Roland seemed to consider the statement with some kind of tension hanging in the air. Nothing necessarily bad...just a bit awkward though for once in his life, Jake didn’t seem to notice anything was off. “Alright.” He took a long sip of his coffee and smiled back when Jake rewarded him with one. 

The boy ushered his friend into the other room and quickly shut the door behind them. 

“And what did I say?” Cuthbert asked, a smirk on his face but Roland didn’t seem too amused. He looked blankly at the closed door before excusing himself for a refill. Eddie watched Cuthbert deflate and felt a pang of sadness for him.

He got up, Susannah urging him to follow Roland, and went straight for the kitchen to chase the pacing man. “What’s up with you?” He asked, sparing his own look to Jake’s closed door. 

“Nothing.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes and dug his fingers into an open bag of cookies left on the counter by Cuthbert earlier. He wasn’t the biggest fan of Peppermint but the taste was actually quite nice on his hot tongue. Ignoring his friends obvious attempt to shut down the conversation, Eddie blocked the doorway. “I’m not an idiot, you know?”

“Nothing that concerns you, Eddie.” Roland corrected himself with that special classy asshole tone of his. Nothing couldn’t possibly piss Eddie off quicker than that voice. 

“Just when I think we’re getting to be close, you shut me down.” He scowled and swallowed a particularly minty chunk of cookie. “I wonder how Cuthbert feels being married to someone so...”

“So what?” Roland’s wise eyes crinkled with anger. 

“So guarded...so solitary.” Eddie flicked his tongue accusingly and nearly choked on the cookie crumbs lingering in his mouth. Part of him found it disgustingly strong and wanted to spit up the remnants into the silver sink. But he held that back in favor of appearing non-idiotic. 

Roland huffed and blew past his skinnier friend and treaded his way back to the lounge seat. 

“Oh no, Don’t waltz back in here if you’re all worked up.” Susannah’s voice came from a ways off, making Eddie smile despite the annoyance flaring up inside him. He could always count on his wife. 

Eddie followed in shortly after and plopped down next to Cuthbert who was looking just as irritated when he leaned over to whisper; “Suzy thinks Roland has some internalized homophobia to work-out.” 

Eddie raised a brow. “The dude is married to a man, how can he be homophobic?” He asked, feeling that dreaded idiotic feeling again. 

Taking another invisible cue, the doorbell rang and was used as Roland’s next distraction. 

Father Don Callahan & a handsome friend entered behind a small pile of Christmas printed bags. 

: : : : : : : : :

Benny ran his hand through his hair, feeling through the soft curls. He found that he did that more and more, especially when he was nervous. The heat from just his nerves alone was getting close to unbearable. He shed his larger coat (finally) and placed it awkwardly in his lap. 

Though, Jake simply reached out to swipe it and threw it across his bed (blue sheets) with a smile thick with teeth. “Merry Christmas, Benny.” He placed a delicate present (silver wrapping) between their criss-crossed legs. 

His hands shook but his smile never faltered because Jake was just about the cutest Benny had ever seen him. He watched nervously as he playfully shook the gift. 

Unwrapping slowly, bending the paper under his curled fingers and enjoying that attention…was NOT of his nature. Not at all. Benny tore open the gift with anxiety pouring out of him like sweat.

Laying atop a bed of fluff was one of those spinner rings he’d talked about just a couple weeks ago. It stared up at him, shining into his eyes. 

“You said you wanted to try one of them to help with your fidgeting.” Jake grinned before scooting closer to pick it from the bed and hold it out for his friend. Benny slowly slid his ring finger into the cold silver with a warm blush taking over his cheeks. 

“I got one with paw prints on it...cause you only like me for my dog, you know?” He chuckled, backing off slightly to watch Benny’s reaction. 

“Rad.” A horrible word really. But it was just the one to pop into his mind like a dumb old jack-in-the-box. Benny cringed but quickly laughed it off. “I mean, Thanks, Jake. I love it. Thank you!” He spun the metal and watched the prints blur. “Your turn, now!” He reached into his own bag and handed over a medium sized green box. The red ribbon glittered under the light. 

The boys had gone for the same theme, it seemed. Jake pulled free a silver ornament in perfect likeness to Oy by it’s velvety red loop. Though Benny felt a renewed sense of inferiority as he spun his ring, Jake’s eyes light up. He cradled his hands under the ornament with that shy smile of his. 

“It’s lame, I know, to get someone an ornament for Christmas...” Benny frowned. “Your gift-”

"It's not a competition, Benny. Besides..." Jake turned back to look at the ornament that was now laying in the tissue paper. "I love it, you know me so well." He chuckled before biting into his cheek and turning slightly, to face Benny fully. He opened his mouth to say something but Benny was quicker to voice his own thought.

“Do you want to go back to watch the movie...?” He gestured to the door. 

“Do you?” Jake countered. 

No. He did not. Benny really wanted to keep their illusion of privacy up for just a little longer. His heart was doing flips in his chest just at the thought of it. “No...” He giggled. “But I get the sense that you’ll be missed, Jake.” 

The boy shrugged. “Ok. We’ll go watch.” They set their gifts onto Jake’s nightstand and went for the door but before either of their hands could curl around the gold, Jake leaned over and gently kissed Benny’s cheek. 

It was quick and devastatingly soft. But very, very important to both of them.

: : : : : : : : :

The two boys ended up on the couch with a blanket tossed over them by Cuthbert, only one so of course they had to squish together or else one of them would be too cold.

Jake had somehow found himself with Benny’s sleeping head resting on his shoulder by the second movie. Not that he minded it at all. Benny had a candy cane hanging out of the side of his mouth that he occasionally twirled around. But was now slipping from the corner of his lips. 

Roland watched Jake, who was watching Benny, with a feeling of...discomfort(?) that even he didn’t understand. 

“Please free that cane before it goes down the kids throat, Jake.” Susannah chuckled. The boy chuckled and when he slipped the red & white candy out, Benny shook himself awake.  

“Sorry.” 

“S’fine.” Jake grinned and let his gaze linger. Benny looked around for that Father Callahan, who’d been in the kitchen when he fell asleep, and found him basically curled up with that friend he’d brought; Lupe. 

Benny widened his eyes. “Is he gay?” He snapped his head over to whisper to Jake, who’d started to cackle. 

“Yeah, he is.” He wiped his sleeve across his mouth to settle down. “We’re you worried he was...homophobic?” His brow raised as he remembered how off his friend became in that Dunkin’ when ol’ Father Don Callahan came over. 

“Yes!” 

The boys dissolved into a privately shared laugh as Oy jumped onto the couch next to them.

Cuthbert plopped down into Roland’s lap and gently ran his fingers down his shoulder as they just watched their son. “Are you alright?” 

Roland nodded, pulling his eyes away and towards his handsome husband who was cuddling down next to him despite the limited seat room. It would be annoying if it were anyone else on earth but for Cuthbert, Roland loved like Cupid. 

He kissed the top of his head and hid behind it slightly as the intro to ‘Gremlins’ played on their small TV. “I hate you.” He mumbled into Cuthbert’s hair. 

He hummed. “I love you too.” He leaned back and kissed Roland’s jaw. “Merry Christmas.” 

Outside, the snow had slowed considerably but the ground was not visible under the thick blanket given from the sky. 

[jemej3m]

Please please keep writing that radio host Andreil fic. It was so amazing already thank you

you demand and i supply lmao (slight nswfish warning? lol its just mentioned in passing yall know my ace ass is no good with that)

here’s p.1

*

Andrew didn’t want to come across as eager, but -

Talking with Neil had felt natural. Too natural. And thrilling. God, Andrew didn’t realise his heart could still go that fast. The idea of the music accidentally being cut and his voice being projected out into the world created a false sense of enthrallment that had his pulse stuttering.

Andrew’s fingers itched for his phone as he drove home the next day. How old was Neil? What did he look like? How’d he find himself hosting a midnight show on a shitty Colombian radio station? He seemed like such an enigma, too big for this awfully tiny place.

The way Andrew was waxing about him was foreign and disturbing. He’d never met this man: He had no clue what he looked like, who he was outside of his work, what kind of morals he had.

Maybe it was the music. Maybe it was just his damned voice.

Either way, Andrew found himself calling the same number, all over again. The phone balanced on his knee as he drove.

“It’s Neil from Mid-Nights, what are your thoughts on the rise in crime in Columbia?”

“Any interesting opinions, as of yet?” Andrew inquired, both genuinely curious (something he wasn’t familiar with) and superficially bored.

“None, as of yet.” The presenter answered.

“Shame.” Andrew drawled.

“I recognise this voice.” Neil answered. “You called me last night, didn’t you? Andrew. I remember.”

“Well done.” Andrew said, letting his tone fall flat. “Would you like an award?”

Neil snorted. “I’d like for callers to remain on topic whilst using up a line, but we can’t all get what we want. We can talk for another two minutes, but it’ll cost you a genuine opinion.”

“Fine.” Andrew grunted. “An ideal government would strive for balanced reputation in order to achieve equitable living standards for its citizens. When everything is balanced, there’s no need for crime.”

“Well - ” Neil coughed. “Theoretically.”

“Theoretically.” Andrew echoed.

“What, was that your thesis?”

“I have a doctorate in communications and criminology, so, pretty much.”

“The hell you doing, driving home at this hour every night with qualifications like that?” Neil asked, almost gentle.

Andrew hated the idea that this stranger pitied him. It made his skin feel too tight, made his body pull taut with tension as his teeth ground together. That was none of Neil’s business, and Andrew thought he should know. “You should get off your fucking high horse, Midnighter. You’re no better than me.” Hanging up was satisfying, but Andrew still felt a little hollow.

He didn’t need random radio presenters reminding him of his shortcomings. He had his family for that.

Neil’s music continued to play softly in the background. Another playlist worthy track. Petty and bitter, Andrew ignored it and shoved his fist into the radio’s controls, turning off the station entirely.

*

Neil leant into the microphone and hoped Andrew could hear his grin.

“To the man who hung up on me last night, fuck you too.” Neil’s voice was too playful to be interpreted as serious. Or so he hoped. “My high-horse had its legs chopped off years ago. I was complimenting you, asshole.”

No one would understand him, but it was alright. He was known for angering people.

Half an hour later, as though Andrew had remained in the driveway listening to the show and deciding whether or not to call up, the phone began to rang. Neil picked it up - too enthusiastically, really - and brought it to his ear.

“It’s Neil from Mid-Nights, how are you?”

“Jack-ass.” Andrew answered. “I don’t need no compliments. Stick to what you’re good at: Being an asshole.”

The dial-tone of being hung-up on (again) made Neil grin.

*

It’d been two weeks. Andrew had run through most of his call credit, seeing as he rarely used it in the first place. The conversations were never longer than a few minutes, but the fragmented moments strung together and formed something so rare, so niche, that Andrew had to wonder at himself: What in fuck’s name did he think he was doing?

“I hope this’ll help wake you all from your long-drive stupors.” Neil’s voice, deceptively sweet, laughed into the microphone. “Nothing like some solid distortion solos to get you feeling alive. Oh, and I’m expecting a call. You know who you are.”

“Asshole.” Andrew grunted, cocking his head to the side as he pulled up at a red light. 

Black in Black started blasting from his speakers, unintentionally. Andrew scoffed, squashing down the remnants of his grin, and rolled down the windows. 

He didn’t call Neil till the song had faded into something along the lines of Elton John, not wanting to give Neil the satisfaction of being at his beck and call. 

Neil paid him back the favour, almost letting the call ring out before snatching up the line on its last breath. 

“You’re getting stingy.” Neil complained. “I figured out you get off shift at three. Why the half an hour of time wasted?”

“Making you wait is half the fun.” Andrew rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a creep and go working out my schedule with too little knowledge and too good perceptions. It’s weird.”

“Observations keep me alive and kicking. You like my song choice?”

Neil queued another two songs after Bennie and the Jets so they could talk and Andrew didn’t even mind. He was sure he’d never willingly spent this much time with even his own family.

“You know,” Neil offered, a hint of hesitation in his voice that Andrew’d never heard before. “I could - uh, I could give you my -”

“Spit it out, Josten.”

He could hear Neil’s scowl. “I can’t if you keep interrupting me!” He let out a disgruntled huff. “Well, I just thought - maybe I could give you my personal number.” 

Andrew hummed. “For what purpose?”

“To get to know you better.” Neil said, the blunt confidence returning to his voice. “If that was something you’d be interesting. Or am I just a welcomed blip in the routine?” 

“Do whatever you want. I couldn’t care less.” Andrew lied. 

Neil laughed softly. “Goodnight, Andrew.”

“Night.” 

*

Andrew stood outside the staff entrance letting the smoke curl in his mouth before letting it seep out from between his lips. He’d always broken his breaks up into ten-minute chunks to keep up the flow of nicotine. No one usually spoke to him or acknowledged him. 

Usually. 

Roland, his consistent hook-up over the past six months, leaned against the door to keep it closed. Andrew could appreciate the low-cut sleeveless shirt and the arms folded across the man’s chest. Andrew had left bruises in the shape of his chain necklace when Roland asked him to: He knew Roland wanted something more permanent than what he was willing to give. 

“You’ve been distant.” Roland supplied. 

Andrew flicked ash in his direction, a warning in and of itself. Roland merely rolled his eyes and dropped his arms, opening his palms as an offer. 

That was how it always happened: They had five, ten minutes to spare. There was nothing better to do. Andrew was going through the motions: Going to work, serving drunk fuckwits, smoking in silence, giving Roland head to shut him up, repeat. 

When the other man gasped “We should go out to dinner some time,” Andrew pinched the skin of his thigh. Roland’s hand flew out to stabilise himself against the table-top, effectively hitting the small radio player that worked constantly. 

He must have knocked the frequencies, because Neil’s pearlescent laughter filled the room and Andrew had never felt more disgusted: In himself, in this, in everything. The visceral hatred for his existence was only a glimmer, a fragmented moment, but it was enough to have him stumbling away, shoving his hands through his hair and digging his fingers into his temples. 

“Andrew?” Roland managed. 

“I’m going home.” He snapped, shoving his hands into his pockets. He found his phone and his keys, slamming the staff-entrance door behind him. 

Sitting in the driver’s seat, he looked at his phone again. Looked at the text from an unknown number that he’d read but not answered. 

hey this is neils number. 

He swallowed against the cotton wad in his throat and typed out an answer. when do you finish? 

neil was quick to respond. four am every morning. aren’t you still on shift? 

Andrew rested his forehead against the steering-wheel and tried to ignore the way his heart raced. left early. 

Neil took over five minutes to answer. Andrew didn’t want to turn on the radio and hear his voice, so he waited. His patience was rewarded a little while later. 

bring me coffee? black, no sugar, no milk. itd be nice to finally see you. 

Andrew shoved down the desire to smile instinctively, hating the unfamiliar twitch to his lips. with a coffee order like that, i’d rather run for the hills. 

shame. Neil answered. see you soon? 

Andrew was a goner, shoving his keys into the ignition as he typed out a hasty reply. 

yeah. see you soon.

*

:DDD

[shutupandshipit]

Blood and Diamonds - Part 1

Summary: "Welcome to the stage... Lilith.”

Or where Neil is a stripper at the Days' strip club when Ichirou doesn't need him for family business, and Andrew is Kevin's bodyguard. It's only Andrew's second month as Kevin's bodyguard and it had been pretty boring up until then, but it only takes one night in the Days' club for things to get just a little more interesting. For both him and Neil.

Pairing: Andreil

Rating: M

Part 2: Gold -> Next

Part 3 -> coming soon

Author’s Note:  This is going to be a three part work, but most of the chapters are going to be pretty long compared to my usual. Anyway, this is literally a major fuck it fic for me, to be honest. I am writing this solely for the pleasure of doing so.

Part 1: Lilith

Andrew wasn't one for strip clubs. He didn't like them. He didn't like the people that frequented them. He didn't like the look of them. Most of them were dirty and degrading, dark and damp with lust. Plus, most of the strippers were usually women unless you went to a very specific club. If he really needed to get off that badly, he had other means of finding a source.

Still, he found himself wandering into an all genders club at Kevin's side, eyes skipping from one table to another.

Being Kevin Day's bodyguard had been as tame and boring as he'd imagined it would be. They did get into trouble from time to time, running about on whatever adventure the heir to Kayleigh Day's drug empire wanted. He'd only had the job for a short month, and was ready for something new to spice it up.

He just hadn't imagined that thing would be the strip club that his father and the Days ran as a cover for their drug laundering.

“It'll be fine, Minyard. Try to have some fun. Find someone you like. Drink a little. It is an all genders club. There's someone out there for everyone,” Kevin said when they paused just passed the front doors to look over the dim room and black stage with its two shiny poles leading up to the towering ceiling. The room was almost too dark to see, lit with sultry crimson light and candles in red vases on every table. Barely noticeable waiters and waitresses in conservative black uniforms moved silently around the room, taking and delivering orders.

It was a much cleaner and classier set up than Andrew had imagined. “If I found this fun, I wouldn't have to be dragged along under the guise of work.”

A waitress looking like she was on the verge of crying stopped at Kevin's elbow. “Sir, good evening. We haven't seen you in awhile.”

Kevin's mouth went from scowling to his people-winning smile in an instant. The smile he wore for the public, for his sick mouth. “Raven, evening. How have things been around here?”

“Fine. Josten got into a fight with Leverett again, but Boyd and Wildes broke it up pretty quickly,” she told him, jumping on the question like a puppy hoping to be praised.

Kevin sighed. “Again? Over what? How were they even in the same room with the schedule the way it is?”

“Something about stealing Leverett's customer. She came in on her off time to argue with him.”

“Typical.” His eyes drifted towards Andrew, musing. “He is the best though, and Leverett is... inattentive. When is Neil supposed to perform tonight?”

Raven glanced down at a watch on her wrist, small and discreet. “Ten minutes, and then at closing with the rest of the Foxes.” Kevin nodded at her, and she filled the silence before there could be any. “Jeremy and Thea are upstairs entertaining in the VIP room tonight. Mr. Moriyama is visiting, and they came in on their day off to minimize potential collateral damage.”

Kevin nodded, glancing towards the stairs leading to the upper floors as his smile struggled to remain in place. “Right, he told me he'd be here. I'll have to give them a bonus.” Turning to Andrew, he said, “Well, I'm going to go speak with Riko. Make yourself at home. Watch some of the acts. We're staying here tonight, and Nicky should take over soon, so get drunk. Take from Cracker Dust. Take someone to bed at the end of the night. I don't care, but if I come down here and you're not three sheets to the wind, I'm going to strangle you.” He said everything with a smile before turning, Raven following at his elbow.

“You don't have the balls,” Andrew spat back.

Kevin didn't stop, but flipped Andrew the bird over his shoulder.

Nicky showed up thirty minutes later, high fived him, and headed up to the VIP room to read a book outside the door. If Nicky was downstairs, he'd drink. And if he drank, he wouldn't stop. Kevin didn't mind them having a drink or two on shift, but they all agreed that being drunk was unacceptable.

After Nicky took his leave, Andrew found a spot at the bar, accepting a drink from a familiar bartender. “You work here too, Roland?” he asked, watching his old hook-up walk back and forth along the bar as he prepared drinks and set out trays.

Roland grinned, coming to a stop to lean across the bar at Andrew, smiling. “The Days pay better than Eden's. Plus, I get more hours. Speaking of which, haven't seen you around lately, and then you just happen to turn up here? What's the deal with that?”

Andrew tipped his head towards the ceiling. “Mr. Day dragged me here?”

“Ah, so Kevin's the culprit. Rat bastard. Well, I'm going to get you drunk on his dime then.” He set out a shot that Andrew knocked back happily, sliding the glass back towards Roland. “The show is about to start. Neil's our best. He really get the blood flowing. Then it's Allison. Maybe after my shift is done, we can find a place to... chat?” Roland's smile was flirtatious.

Andrew didn't answer, only raising an eyebrow.

Roland shrugged, unperturbed. “The offer is there if you want it.” He bustled off towards his other customers, and Andrew turned to watch the stage.

The stage was lit with a soft lilac light, and as he watched, the patrons began to snuff out the candles on their tables until it was the only light in the room. Overhead, a soft deep voice made introductions. “For those of you who have been here before, you know what time it is.” A short cheer rose before going quiet as sensual music filtered into the room. “For those of you who may be first timers, your life is about to be changed. Next up, we have the Prince of the Stage, the man who can cut out you heart without spilling a single drop of blood, the diamond of dance... Welcome to the stage... Lilith.”

Wild applause disturbed the air, quieting only when the music grew loud, replacing the conditioned air with the thrumming of cello strings. A man stepped barefoot onto the stage, tight black diamond studded shorts stopping just below the curve of his ass. They strained around toned thighs, a black sleeveless shirt draped loosely over his chest and stomach, plunging in the back to reveal rippling muscle. His arms were as tones as his legs, and scared from fingertips to elbows. Everything that was usually on display by a stripper was covered, but what was on display was a nice display.

Muscular, but not overly so. Neck long and elegant. Skin tanned and dusted silver. A steady mix of masculine and feminine as he moved across the stage.

Wild curls looked black beneath the lilac light, but lacked the same depth as black hair. Probably a brunette or red head. The curls flopped over the top edge of a glimmering half-mask that resembled a fox's snout, the shadow covering the rest of his face, but not the cut of his jaw.

Andrew thought every stripper danced the same, that there could be no variation except between genders. He wasn't sure whether this was particular to the club or particular to this dance, but Andrew's mouth watered as he swung around and around his pole, sliding to the floor and arching his back before wrapping his legs back around the poll to hoist himself up.

Bills landed on the stage, but Lilith never stopped moving, climbing and careening around the stage.

He looked like he was trying to run from something, and Andrew wondered what the something could possibly be.

It had been awhile since Andrew had had such a visceral reaction to another person, his pants growing tighter with each passing moment and movement. He never moved, exactly like the others around him. Even the bartenders had come to a stop to watch the man at work.

What Andrew found curious and intriguing was the lack of actual stripping. Lilith never removed a scrap of clothing, only pulled and tugged at the fabric in suggestion. There was a flash of dimples and strap of a thong above his ass, a peak of tight curls beneath the waist of his shorts, a smear of lipstick across his jaw. His performance drove the crowd wild, but when Andrew caught a glimpse of raised scarring beneath the shirt, he knew it was to hide and not to tease. He'd wager even frequent customers had never seen more of Lilith's skin than what was already being shown.

And that was interesting.

He was intrigued in a way he knew he shouldn't be. No one with a good, stable life was stripping for a living, and Andrew's life was already messy enough without adding someone else's issues.

Nobody stripping for the Days had a stable life.

When Lilith spun to a stop at the end of the song, chest heaving, he stared across the room.

Andrew could have sworn he caught the flash of icy blue eyes staring at him.

…..

Neil sighed, pulling his mask off and staring at the smeared lipstick across his jaw where he'd fended off one of the regular female customers before going on stage. Sweat beaded on his brow, tracing down his temples. His shirt was completely soaked through, and his shorts were stuffed with bills from grubbed hands at the stage edge. No matter how classy Kevin claimed the club to be, the dancers were still strippers and the majority of customers were still gross and horny. He'd slowly started to pull the bills out when Dan clapped him on the shoulder.

“Great job out there, Neil! You really got them riled up, and you're still as popular as ever!” Dan exclaimed, ruffling his curls with a grin. Her smile fell into a neutral line as she wiped at the smudged lipstick. “You know, you don't have to do this, right? Just because you got us the positions. You've got your own work to handle.”

Neil smiled at her. “I know, but whatever I make here, I get to keep. I'm still paying off my parents' debts, and I can't do that and live at the same time if I'm just using what I get paid normally.”

She sat down beside him, turning him to face her so she could fix his makeup. “I know that, but Kevin had offered to help which is a miracle in and of itself. He's offered more than once, so you know he means it. Wouldn't he be better than Ichirou?”

Neil wanted to shake his head, but also didn't want his throat ripped out. Dan was applying small crystals to his freckled and would murder him if he ruined her work. “Ichirou is not the problem. We practically grew up together despite our fathers' best efforts. It's Lord Moriyama and his useless second son that are the problem. Lord Moriyama still doesn't trust me after my father didn't pull through on his side of the deal, and then let my mother run back to the Hatfords. No, I can't trade one thumb for another.” Neil was giving too much truth, and he felt his throat trying to constrict around his words with his need to clam up, but every one of the Foxes deserved his truth. After what his father had put them all through... They'd been through too much together to get a lie.

Dan sighed again, and sat back. “There. All fixed. Now change your shirt and shorts. You're disgusting.” Turning to glance over her shoulder as Neil followed her order, she shouted, “Allison, they're waiting for Aphrodite on stage!”

Neil gently pulled Allison to a stop before she passed him, pulling her down to whisper in her ear. “Can you check out someone for me? Blond. Short. Seated at the bar in a black suit. He's new, but doesn't look like a customer.”

Allison pressed a kiss to his temple, murmuring, “Sure thing, hon. I'll let you know what I collect after I make my rounds tonight.”

“Thanks.” Neil waited until Allison was gone and Dan had focused on him again to wave at his face. “What's all this for? I thought I didn't go on again till closing.”

“Right, but someone requested you.”

Narrowing his eyes and wrinkling his nose, he said, “I didn't put anything out saying I was taking requests tonight. You know that.” Neil only took requests when he was desperate for more cash, and Dan knew that as well too.

Dan nodded. “I know, but I wasn't able to turn them down this time. The request came from Kevin for someone else. He put down five figures. I figured you wouldn't mind if you were getting paid that much.”

Neil's mouth went dry. “How much if five figures? How does Kevin even have that much to throw around?”

“Fifteen thousand.”

“Jesus. Does he want me to fuck this guy on stage or something?” Neil asked jokingly, but Kevin with Riko could be unpredictable. He had to have faith that Kevin wouldn't ask something like that of him, and he didn't want to have to pull rank as a Wesninski and the Butcher's Son in the club. Even then, he'd only be able to pull rank on Kevin, not Riko. If it came down to a battle with Riko, the night would end with someone's blood on the walls. There was a lot of abuse and humiliation he was willing to take from Riko, but not that.

“Oh, come on!” Seth shouted from across the room where he was painting his chest bright orange, “You don't even get naked! Why are you getting paid the big bucks? How good are you at giving head, exactly?”

Neil didn't point out that he only ever 'gave head' to one person as he didn't have a choice in the matter. That wasn't information Seth should be privy to. He'd never hear the end of the gay slurs. He already got enough shit for being demisexual as it was.

“If you put half as much effort into your performance as Neil does, maybe you'd get paid more too. Unfortunately, you only attract one gender, and that's not enough,” Dan shot back at him as she smiled. Again, she returned her gaze to Neil while Matt intervened before Seth got himself killed. “So, the client is in a private room, last door on the left. Maybe he'll tip.”

Neil raised an eyebrow. “You think it's a guy?”

She shrugged. “Kevin doesn't have any women in his group, but who knows. Maybe he picked one up and is showing her a good time.”

“I doubt that. He just picked up three new bodyguards a month ago, and I don't think Coach would let women on his team with Riko around.” Neil pursed his lips, staring at the rust red of them in the mirror. After a moment, he fitted his mask back into place and stepped into a pair of lethal black heels. “I guess I'll see you in an hour or so.”

Dan waived, smiling cheekily. “Try to have some fun, Neil. Who knows? Maybe he has a sense of humor.”

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, he ducked out of the dressing room.

…..

The private rooms were for entertainment. Most of the time, that meant lap dances and some conversation. That's what they were meant for. For the customers to get a better look at their coveted performers. What a performer did in a private room with a customer was their business though. Most of the performers were willing to do a lot for a little bit more if Kevin turned a blind eye. His only stipulation was that they stay clean, free of any drugs that he wasn't pushing and STIs.

Some customers pushed for more than the performers were willing to give, even when they said now.

Neil wasn't innocent. When he needed money and there was an easy way to get it, he didn't waste time tiptoeing around options, but he had his boundaries.

The Foxes had made a name for themselves in both the pole dancing circles and sex worker circles. When it came to the private rooms, their word was law. After several bloodied noses and broken wrists, most everyone knew that when a Fox said no, it meant no. There was no pushing. There was no coaxing. There was no wheedling. They weren't afraid to kick a customer out, and they sure as hell weren't afraid to get violent if hands were put on them. The Foxes were known for their dances and their convictions.

Customers who requested them knew not to push.

That didn't mean the Foxes weren't willing to push the fold themselves.

Neil didn't push anything. After his mother had beat the desire out of him and Lola had taken what she'd wanted, he refused to touch anyone unless he was desperate. Even desperate, the furthest he would take it was a handjob and a few unenthusiastic kisses. He made enough money on stage most nights to cover living expenses, but feeding two people got expensive after awhile. Not including the clothes and doctor visits and shoes. When he didn't need money, he kept as much distance between himself and the customers as he could.

He rarely found a need to put himself in a private room, and he always had the same reaction at first. Nausea. Shoulders pulling tight. A sense of vertigo washed over him as he slipped into the dimply lit room and closed the door behind him.

The room was dark like the main room, all black and crimson curtains with accents of gold and dusty pink interspersed throughout. Candle light flickered along the walls, and soft rolling music played through hidden speakers. Allison's song choice thrummed through the ceiling, pulsing in his feet.

Neil knew there were microphones hidden for the performers' protection. He'd been the one to suggest their installation. If the performer ever uttered their safe word or 'No' three times in a row, guards would pull the performer out immediately.

Across the room, the man Neil had seen sitting at the bar turned to look at him. He was short, shorter than Neil at about five feet even, but his presence was overwhelming as he stared at Neil blankly. He wore all black from his shiny shoes to his belt to his tie. His hair and eyes were the only splashes of color.

Hazel eyes slid up and down Neil's body, but the man didn't move to come any closer.

Neil didn't know what he was supposed to do with this lack of reaction.

…..

Andrew was collected from the bar by Nicky just as the next dancer, a woman with long blonde hair and legs for miles, stepped out. Nicky led him upstairs, a sly smile on his lips.

Andrew narrowed his eyes in response. “What's going on? I thought Kevin wanted me to get too drunk to stand. He's ruining my streak,” he groused even though he hadn't really been drinking with purpose. He'd been sipping on his whiskey as he chatted with Roland about the dancers and skirmishes they got into. What problems could be found around the club. Which were related to Kevin and which weren't.

Really, he'd just been doing reckon, but Nicky didn't need to know that.

“A present from Kevin,” Nicky said vaguely as he opened a door and closed it behind Andrew.

Andrew knew where he was without having to be told. He'd been in a backroom like this at Eden's Twilight with Roland enough times. Granted, this was nicer, but it was also actually meant for entertainments where Eden's looked like it was simply where people went to hook-up. They were all the same in the end.

A place to have a tryst. A place to get a lap dance. A place to do business that wasn't of the body variety.

He wasn't happy Kevin had sent him there, but he was also mildly curious to see who Kevin had sent for. Who Kevin thought would be interesting enough to keep him busy.

After ten minutes, Andrew considered sitting down, but didn't want to give the dancer anything to assume. He wasn't there for a lap dance. He wasn't there for a blowjob. He was there without consent, and he knew most of the dancers had to have been pushed into situations they didn't want either.

The dancer from the first performance -Lilith- slipped into the room. He'd changed, but the outfit wasn't much different than the one before. Black shorts that were seemingly painted on, tassels of diamonds hanging from the waistband to tinkle quietly around his hips. Black top of nearly see through material with gauzy sleeves that draped around his arms. New red lipstick painted his mouth, almost the same color as his curls.

He was towering in black heels, his mask still in place as he leaned back against the door.

Andrew couldn't stop his eyes from dragging up and down the man, taking in his posture, how he seemed a little off kilter. He wondered if it was Andrew himself, the room, or just the situation that was causing him such visible discomfort.

A long, tense silence passed between them before either spoke.

“You're Kevin's new bodyguard. I didn't realize earlier. You, your twin and your cousin just joined his security detail. Renee said she knew you guys from before,” Lilith said, shoulders still pressed to the door with his back arched away from the fabric covered wood.

“And who are you to Kevin?” Andrew asked, suspicious and curious at once.

“A performer. An asset. Someone to take care of the dirty work.” The words rang with truth despite the mirth there, and Andrew had to wonder if the song and dance were familiar. “But for you? I can be anyone.”

Again, suspicion reared its head. With Riko in the same building, he couldn't be too careful, even if Kevin was the one who sent Lilith. That didn't mean people couldn't be paid off. “Why's that? Is that part of your gag?”

The man shrugged, a sly smile playing across his lips. Half lidded blue eyes looked out at him from the shadows of the mask. “Kevin paid fifteen thousand for me to be here, so I assume he wants me to make you happy. By whatever means that may be.”

Lilith sounded a little sick at the prospect, and Andrew didn't miss that hint in his voice. He was a good actor otherwise, his posture never changing.

The words made Andrew sick, and he wanted to strangle Kevin. Instead, he could just waste his money. “Stop standing like that.”

Those blue eyes blinked wide, and Lilith asked, “Like what?”

“Like you're trying to showcase something. It looks painful.”

A startled laugh fell from Lilith's mouth, and he relaxed against the door. “It kind of does,” he admitted.

“Take the shoes off.”

After a pause, Lilith sighed and stepped out of the shoes, dropping down much closer to Andrew's height. “Thank god. Those are torture. Have you ever tried?”

“No.” Andrew sat down on the couch that was across from the door, leaning back with his arms across his chest. He pointed to the cushion next to him. “Sit.”

Irritation flashed across Lilith's mouth as he hesitated. It disappeared as he padded over to the couch. His body was lithe and strong like he was aware of every aspect of himself. Sitting down, he left a substantial twelve inch gap between them, but turned to face him. “This is... unconventional. Most people want me to be naked by this point. Not that they get what they want, but...”

“I'm not people.”

Lilith laughed. “Clearly. So, is there anything I can do for you?” He crossed his legs at the ankles and folded his hands in his lap. “You've got fifteen thousand dollars worth for activities.”

Andrew let his eyes wonder over the man, considering. He knew what his body wanted. He knew that he wanted to spite Kevin for this. He knew that no matter how convincing the man was or what he was indirectly offering, Andrew could spot a liar a mile away. This man was a good one, practiced and adept, but not good enough. “Let me take off your mask, yes or no?”

Lilith tensed, but nodded. “Yes.”

Andrew spanned the space between them, reaching into Lilith's hair to rifle around for the string. Puling the bow open, he set the mask aside and sat back into his seat, opening the space between them again. He stared at the man's face, at the long lashes and gems glues to his face, the curls brushing his forehead, the highlighter on his cheekbones. “What's your name?” Beneath the makeup, he could still see the bumps and rises of burns beneath an eye.

“Neil Josten.”

Andrew sat the lie in the flutter of his eyelashes, just a minor drop. “That's not your real name.”

“No.”

“You prefer to go by Neil.”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Neil's eyes darted up to Andrew's face, surprised. “I-” He swallowed, dropping his eyes again. Taking a deep breath, he raised his eyes to meet Andrew's again, conviction in their blue depths. “What now?”

Andrew considered, chewing carefully on the inside of his cheek. “Take your shirt off, yes or no?”

“No,” Neil said immediately, flinching away from his eyes. He sputtered out a correction. “U-un-unless you really want me to.”

Interesting. “No. It's fine,” Andrew said, sliding further along the couch to give him more space, “Okay, but why? You're a stripper who doesn't take off his clothes. What are you hiding? We're playing a game here, Neil. Truth for truth. You give me a truth and I'll give you a truth.”

Neil stared at him silently for a long time before sighing. “Scars.”

“How many?”

“A lot.”

“As bad as the ones on your face?”

Neil's hand jumped up to press against the scars beneath his eyes, lips pressing into a thin line. “No. Worse.”

Andrew nodded, accepting that answer and motioning him to go.

Blinking in surprise, Neil dropped his hand. “What's your name?”

“I thought you already knew my name.”

Neil smiled. “I do, but you have a twin. I want to hear you confirm my suspicions.”

“Andrew Minyard.”

“And your twin is Aaron. Nicky is your cousin. He's nice. Always gives me a good tip when I take one of his requests. Never gets handsy unless I let him. I like their significant others too, even if I only know them from a distance.” He must have seen the unease flash across Andrew's face because he quickly said, “Sorry. Kevin's an important person to me and my family. I go overboard researching the people he's involved with so he doesn't get himself killed.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes, but he couldn't really fault him. It wasn't hard to research Aaron and Nicky anyway as their lives were documented on one or more social media pages. “Who gave you all the scars?”

Neil's jaw tightened, but he answered anyway. “My father and his associates.” His voice was tight, bitter. He sounded almost like he wanted to puke as he said, “Lola.”

“Lola,” Andrew mused, and again, Neil flinched, “What a stupid fucking name.”

Neil chuckled, the noise sounding forced to Andrew's ears. “Yes. Why did you decide to work for Kevin? How did that happen?”

“Riko tried to recruit me for his operation, but I don't work for homophobic piss babies. I needed a job, and Kevin -well, more Wymack- needed someone who could field Riko when he tries to overstep his line. Kevin and Wymack also agreed to hire my family. Riko didn't.”

“Sounds about right.”

“Which way do you swing?”

Neil smirked, and Andrew wondered how often he'd gotten the question. “I don't. I'm demisexual.”

“Interesting.”

Neil opened his mouth to ask his next question when he heard footsteps on the stairs. Instead, with wide eyes, he asked, “Can I touch you, yes or no?” mimicking Andrew's way of asking for permission. “Whoever that is, I need to convince them I'm doing my job.”

“Yes,” Andrew agreed and was surprised when Neil straddled his lap, sliding his fingers deep into Andrew's hair. The way Neil kissed was gentle and exploratory despite the situation. When Andrew gripped his thighs, he unconsciously arched into him.

The door opened without a knock, and Neil broke away a second later to stare over his shoulder accusingly. “What, Jean? I'm busy.”

“Clearly.” His eyes trailed up and down Neil, disgust etched into the curve of his lips. “Little Boss just called bother Riko and Kevin. You are to call him at your earliest convenience.”

“Thanks for the message. Now get out.”

“Putain,” the man muttered as he slammed the door closed.

Neil didn't move as his footsteps disappeared down the hall. With a sigh, he looked down into Andrew's impassive expression. “Well, guess this is ending a little early.”

“I suppose.”

Still, Neil didn't move, a sly smile pulled at his lips. “I'd like to kiss you again. It was pleasant. Also... do you want me to take care of that for you?” He pointed between their bodies where Andrew pressed hard against his ass, but politely kept his eyes on Andrew's.

Andrew was achingly hard in his pants, but he wouldn't ask for anything Neil didn't want. He didn't even know if Neil actually liked men or not. He needed to look up 'demisexual' when he had a moment. “Are you asking as part of your job or because you want to?”

Neil smiled at him, carding his fingers idly through Andrew's hair. “Because I want to. Because you listened when I said no, and didn't expect anything from me. Because you went out of your way to make me feel comfortable. Those shoes really are the worst after awhile.”

“Save it for another time,” Andrew decided.

This time, Neil beamed. “Sure thing. Bit I will ask for another kiss.”

“Demanding,” Andrew commented, but obliged as he tangled a hand in the curls at the back of Neil's head and pulled him down. When they pulled apart, he asked, “When will I see you again?” Because he was weak. He was weak for a pretty face and shady back story and the ability to listen.

'And to keep an eye on him to make sure he's not a threat to Kevin,' he told himself, even though it was a blatant lie.

“So eager,” Neil flirted, lifting himself from Andrew's lap to straighten out his clothing, “Probably sooner than you might imagine.” He plucked up his mask from beside Andrew.

“That's not an answer.”

“My schedule is never for sure, but I'm here most night. Come by any time. Ask for my by name instead of my stage name, and they'll send someone back for me. If you keep treating me like a gentleman instead of a whore, you won't even have to have Kevin pay for me.”

Andrew sat up straight. “I didn't-”

“I know. Just teasing. I'll see you soon, Andrew, and...” Neil trailed off, head ducking as he stood in the doorway and tugged his heels back on. When he finally lifted his head again, there was a sad smile gracing his lips. “Thank you. I mean it.”

And then he was gone.

Andrew dealt with himself quickly, using the supplies he found in a back corner to clean up before stepping out. He sat down heavily beside Nicky outside the VIP room. “I'm done for tonight if you want to drink.”

Nicky shook his head, but put away his phone and turned eagerly to face Andrew. “So, how was it?”

…..

Neil slipped from the room and immediately downstairs to call Ichirou. “Lord Moriyama, what can I do for you?” he asked politely because he knew Ichirou thought it was arbitrary. It made him uncomfortable, and being brothers, it was fun to needle him sometimes. “Oh, sorry. Slip of the tongue. Little Boss, what can I do for you?”

“I've told you not to call me that, Nathaniel,” Ichirou quipped back, “Either of those things.”

“Not as long as you keep calling me that.”

Ichirou chuckled quietly before his voice turned stoic. “I need you tonight. I've told the other to two stay clear for the night. I understand they're at the club currently?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Your man is already here. I'm having Moreau come in to begin set up.”

“Understood.” Neil shifted his weight from one foot to the other in the dressing room, not looking at himself in the mirror as he pulled a wig with long rust red curls into place. The hair cascaded down his back, ending at his waist. “I have to take care of one small thing before I change and head in. Is that possible?” He shimmied into a silver shimmery dress with a plunging back, the only one he ever wore into the VIP room.

“Do as you need to take care of Jane,” Ichirou told him, “I hope to see her again soon.”

“This weekend. Dinner,” Neil said, tying his mask back into place. Dressed as he was, he could almost believe he was a woman.

“Good. See you soon.”

The line clicked dead, and Neil dropped his phone back into his drawer. Renee and Matt stared at him with worry as he stepped into high silver stilettos.

He turned to them, holding out his arms. “How do I look?”

“Stunning. As always,” Renee sighed, and stepped close to fix his smeared lipstick. “We need to invest in that kind that stays forever. You go through so much lipstick. Will you need me tonight?”

“Later. I'll have Jean call,” he sighed. Before he hurried out, Matt grabbed hold of his arm.

“Don't let him push you around, Neil. You're not an object,” Matt whispered so Seth couldn't hear him.

Everyone, but Seth knew what happened to Neil in the VIP room, knew that he was one of the only ones it ever happened to. Knew it happened to degrade him and nothing more. They'd all had to pull him back together one night or another.

They worried, but worry never saved anyone.

Neil sighed again and pulled free. “Not my choice, Matt.”

“Not yet, but it will be.”

Neil smiled his wide, fake, plastic smile. “I can only hope.”

Nothing would get better for him until Kengo Moriyama finally found himself in the grave.

…..

He knocked on the door to the VIP room, not glancing at Andrew or Nicky as they eyed him. He could only hope that Andrew didn't recognize him with the long sleeve and hair and dress, which was for the best. If they made eye contact, that might not have been the case.

“Enter!” came Riko's imperious voice, and Neil repressed a growl.

He pushed open the door to purple satin and blue light, and Riko with Thea sitting on his knee like a very pretty dark doll. A scowl graced her painted mouth as Riko's hand played idly with the strings of her corset. When his hand drifted between her thighs, she slapped his hand away. “No means no.”

Neil was glad to see she hadn't lost her fire. She'd always been the strongest of them, but he wished Kevin would just get the guts to ask her out instead of shooting angry glares towards them while Jeremy sat against his leg and laughed generously. The best thing about the situation was that Jean wasn't there also mooning over Jeremy.

God, the VIP room was just a roiling pool of sexual tension. He wished Kevin and the others would get themselves into a happy polyamorous relationship.

“Ooooh, the Silver Fox is here!” Jeremy crowed, jumping to his feet and folding Neil in his arms. In his ear, Jeremy whispered, “I didn't know or I would have found a way to stop it.” When he pulled back, he trailed his lips along Neil's cheek.

Neil caught the front of his corset, whispering back. “It's fine. He didn't call for me today. Something else.”

Jeremy was beaming as he pulled back, leading Neil over to Kevin. He dropped onto the left arm of Kevin's chair, pulling Kevin's arm around his hips and tucking his fingers between his legs, unashamed.

Neil smiled seductively, leaning into Kevin's right ear as he gripped his wrist. “Can you grab Jane from the babysitter tonight? Ichirou...”

Kevin turned into Neil's neck and whispered, “Yes,” against his skin.

When Neil pulled away, he pressed a long kiss to Kevin's mouth. He beamed as he pulled back. “Well, that is all the time I have tonight,” he announced, turning back towards the door and hoping he'd get away, but Riko's voice filled the room again.

“Wesninski,” Riko called.

Kevin stared at him with a warning in his eyes as Neil winked and turned.

Stepping up to Riko's side, he snarked, “How may I help you on this fine evening, sir?” He smiled, and tried to keep the venom out of his words.

Motioning him down with two fingers, Riko wrapped a hand around the back of Neil's neck. “Next week, you will be here. We have an appointment to keep.” His hand slipped down from Neil's neck, following the curve of his back and slipping beneath the edge of his dress then the strap of his thong. “Think about the baby.” Riko hand pulled away, but gripped the back of his thigh hard enough to bruise. “Don't miss our appointment again. Understand?”

Anger and revulsion welled in Neil's chest, but he only barely managed to keep it contained. “Yes.” He stood straight, and gave the room another blinding smile. “Have a good night.”

Stepping out into the hall, Neil only managed to contain himself long enough to not slam the door. Instead, he threw a fist at the wall. He hissed at the pain that spiraled up his forearm, cursing at the split skin across his knuckles. “Fuck! God fucking dammit! Jesus fuck! Fucking Riko, piece of fuck! Nasty ass hands!” He dug the folded bills out of the strap of his thong, throwing them at the floor. He punched the wall again.

He'd forgotten Andrew and Nicky were outside the door until he heard their chairs move.

“Stop.” Andrew's strong, steady voice said behind him, grabbing his wrist as he made to punch the wall again. “You're going to break your hand. You're already bleeding.”

“Neil,” Nicky said gently, “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Neil growled harshly, but couldn't stop from looking at Andrew.

Andrew glanced at him, recognition there, but nothing more. He dropped his eyes to Neil's hand, flexing each finger and then his wrist. “Nothing serious. Maybe a jammed finger or two. You should get that cleaned, bandaged and iced as soon as possible.” He didn't comment about the tears on Neil's cheeks.

Taking a step back, Andrew bent down to pick up the bills and pressed them into Neil's uninjured hand, meeting his eyes. “Whatever this is, it's not worth hurting yourself over.”

“'Kay,” Neil whispered, flabbergasted as he stared through the guise of his mask, but he felt like Andrew could see right through him. It made him uncomfortable.

His mouth was dry.

Swallowing, he turned. “Nicky, I'm sorry for yelling,” he said.

Tears filled Nicky's brown eyes, a smile splitting his face from ear to ear. “Oh, Neil, honey!” he cried, enveloping Neil in an all encompassing hug that made Neil want to cry while simultaneously drying out his well of emotions.

“Thanks, but I have to go now, Nicky. It was... it was nice to meet you, Andrew. See you guys soon.” Trying to contain his shakiness, Neil strode away. He needed to change, fix his hand, and get to Ichirou before he started asking questions.

Because Ichirou didn't know.

And Neil never wanted him to find out.

…..

“He was trying to sabotage a shipment.” Ichirou, dark and lithe and several inches taller than Neil, stood over the whimpering man as Neil pulled on the gloves Jean had set out for him. “He was caught with a detonator in his hand. Cheep. Clearly homemade. It might not have even worked.”

The man had a head of mousy blond hair that was streaked red with darkly tanned skin. His fingers were laced behind his back, wrists tied to the simple wooden chair like his ankles. A gag had been shoved in his mouth, ear plugs wedged in his ears, and a blindfold covered his eyes.

“Who do you think he works for?” Neil asked, stepping towards the chair and unceremoniously throwing his aching fist. The impact against the man's jaw made his knuckles bleed all over again, but he held back the flinch of pain. He should have just hit him with his left hand. “Do you think this is going to be a problem?”

Ichirou looked around to where Jean stood against the wall, eyes sharp and narrowed and as dark as his brother's. “Moreau. Out. Watch the door. No one is allowed in.”

Jean bowed out of the room, closing the door firmly behind him.

Turning back, Ichirou said in a low voice. “I think he works for my brother.”

Neil paused where he was considering his tray of tools, eyes wide. “What? Why would he sabotage his own shipment?”

“Profit; if he exports than he can sell at whatever price he likes and keep everything for himself. Blackmail; he may be trying to ruin Kayleigh and Kevin. Favor; if he knocks them out of standing with my father, there will be an opening to step into. There are too many possibilities to consider. He doesn't realize he'll never be apart of the family the way he wants to no matter what he does.”

“Why Riko specifically though? Are there any clue to his immediate involvement?” Neil stared at the man in the chair, eyes narrowing. There was a cold, hollow spot in the middle of his chest that he was all too familiar with. It's where he retreated when Riko degraded him, when he killed, when he remembered his parents. “You don't think it's just my father's loyalists?”

“No. There have been shipments going missing more and more often. Riko's spending had increased. When the shipments are stolen, there is little to no casualties. Also, the raven tattoo behind his ear. It might be a coincidence, but...”

Neil allowed his father's ugly smile to pull up his lips. “Well, let's ask then.” He ripped the plugs from the man's ears and the gag out of his mouth. He yanked the man's head back by the hair at the back of his skull. “Who do you work for?”

“I-I-I-I don't know.”

“Wrong answer, handsome.” Neil held the man's head still before driving his fist straight into his nose. Cartilage shattered beneath his knuckles and blood gushed down the man's mouth. “Try again.”

“I don't know!” he shouted.

“Still the wrong answer.” Neil spent several long minutes like that, asking the same question and systematically hurting the man more when he got the same answer. Blood splattered his face, dripping down his cheek. His fist ached in its glove.

The man only spoke after Neil had broken his index finger. “Okay! Okay! I'll tell you what I know!”

Neil paused where he'd been bending the man's second finger back towards his wrist, relaxing the tension.

The man dragged in a shuddering breath. “I don't know what his name is. I really don't. I just know he's part of some big important family or something. They call him the Raven King or some stupid shit like that. I never met with him face to face. There were middle men. Idiots dressed in all black who move completely in sync. It's terrifying. I was paid thirty thousand to blow up half the shipment and take the other half. I got caught before I could do anything. I don't know anything else! Please don't kill me!”

Neil and Ichirou made eye contact over the man's head. “Were you working alone?” Neil asked, “Where were you supposed to drop the shipment?”

“N-no, but she ran off when she saw me get snatched. I've never met her before tonight. I don't know her name. I don't know anything about her.” He was breathing harder. “I was supposed to drop it off at some sports stadium. It's not used anymore. The sport never got off the ground or something.”

“Hm. What about the tattoo behind your ear?”

“Drunk night when I was sixteen.”

Neil stood, walking around behind the man. He waited for Ichirou's nod to continue. He gripped the man's head. “Thank you for your cooperation.” The snap of his neck dissipated from the room quickly enough, absorbed by black sound proofing and heavy curtains. “What do you want me to do about this?”

They both knew he wasn't walking about the body. He never disposed of the bodies, just like his father never had. That was someone else's job, but he usually paid Renee a pretty penny for her services. He trusted her more than he trusted any of the lackeys walking around the estate.

“I'm giving you permission to gather evidence against my brother for this. You may use whoever and whatever means you see fit. Once you have what we need, given my father's approval, you will kill my brother.”

Neil's blood began to boil with anticipation. When he finally got his hands on Riko, he'd rip him to shreds. They wouldn't be able to tell Neil's work from his father's.

[wild-aloof-rebel]

waited so long to say this to you

Five times they say "I do" (and one they don't).

- part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - 

“We’re not hiring Ray as our wedding photographer,” David says again as he emerges from the storage room with a case of wine, setting it on the counter with more force than is strictly necessary. Patrick cringes, but there’s no sound of breaking glass, no liquid visibly seeping through the cardboard, so he carries on watering the succulents on display in the front window.

“But he offered to do it for free as a wedding gift,” he counters, thinking of their budget. It’s the third time they’ve had this argument, and it comes back around to the money every time. Patrick doesn’t want to make choices just because they’re cheap, of course, but the photographer David wants to hire would set them back a full two thousand dollars. Her photos are gorgeous, but they’re small business owners, not video rental empire magnates, and they just can’t afford to spend that kind of money on a photographer—not unless David wants to cut out dinner and only serve hors d'oeuvres, but somehow Patrick doesn’t think that that’s going to happen. So this is where he has to draw his line in the sand.

“He just wants to get out of buying us an actual gift.”

That’s probably true, but it’s unfair either way. “So what? He’s offering up his time and energy to do something nice for us.”

David gives an indignant snort. “Yeah, nice. It’ll be really nice when we don’t have any pictures of our first dance because Ray’s too busy handing out cards for one of his fifteen other businesses.”

“Ray’s a professional. I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.”

“Just like you were ‘sure’ he wouldn’t barge in that time when I—”

“You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”

“No, I’m not. And honestly have you ever actually seen Ray’s photos?”

“Yeah. They’re fine, David.”

“Fine?” It seems that’s some kind of breaking point, David’s voice tipping hastily from merely annoyed over into hysterical. “So that’s all you want for our wedding then: just fine. And here I’ve been trying to plan something beautiful and amazing and worthy of our story…” It’s a line he’d read in some wedding magazine that he’s been trotting out as an excuse any time he wants to push their budget constraints, like when he’d insisted on swapping the dahlias the florist had recommended for the centerpieces with peonies at nearly double the cost. “...when apparently you’re just fine with scraping the bottom of the barrel.”

“Okay, I didn’t say—”

“Should we cancel our tux fittings while we’re at it? Maybe Roland can lend us a couple of stained flannels to wear instead.”

Patrick rolls his eyes, which he knows isn’t exactly helping, but he can’t stop himself either. “I just meant—”

“Maybe Bob could officiate. Would that be fine? We could have the ceremony on the railroad tracks. How about that? Would that be fine, too? Have ourselves a fine reception in the motel lobby. Twyla can whip up a batch of whatever fine smoothies she wants and we can all spend the evening puking in the bushes.”

A little voice buried somewhere deep in his gut tries to tell Patrick this is just an inevitable result of the stress of planning, that David is feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, but he can’t hear it over the roar in his ears. He’s spent nearly every day since his proposal helping David plan their wedding, and now suddenly David is acting as if Patrick doesn’t care, as if he wouldn’t give David the entire god damn world if he could. But he can’t. He can’t do that—he hates that he can’t do that—and for David to insinuate that this is somehow because Patrick doesn’t care enough about him or about the wedding sets fire to every ounce of indignation that has piled up in his chest like kindling. 

“Should I just give back my engagement rings while I’m at it? I could wear a mismatched set of twist-ties or maybe carve the middle out of a bottle cap or—”

Patrick slams the watering can down on the shelf, hard enough to make the little ceramic planters jump. “Damn it, David. Stop being ridiculous, this isn’t about—”

“Ridiculous?” David squawks, his tone now approaching something only dogs can hear, and Patrick throws his hands in the air. “Oh, now I’m being ridiculous. Well, I’m sorry that it’s ridiculous to want to have a nice wedding. I’m sorry that it’s ridiculous to want to hire people who take pride in their work instead of just anyone who offers to do it at the lowest possible price. I’m sorry that it’s ridiculous to want everything to be perfect for you. For us. That it’s ridiculous to want to celebrate our marriage and the start of the rest of our lives together or to want pictures to look back on and remember the happiest day of my life when this all comes crashing down—”

“What?” 

Every visible inch of David’s skin flashes red and hot as he realizes what he’s said. “I didn’t— I don’t—”

“Let me get this straight.” Somehow Patrick’s words manage to come out steady even though it feels like a tornado is ripping through him, leaving a messy, jumbled trail of disaster in its wake. As he picks through the pieces, he isn’t sure if what he’s left holding on to is a mangled remnant of anger or hurt or sorrow. “You want to hire a photographer, who’s way over our budget, because you think that someday that’s all you’re going to have left of this. Of us.”

The silence that follows is all the answer he needs, and it takes all of his strength to keep standing. He’d asked David to marry him. He’d called him the love of his life, and when David had still asked if he was sure, he’d told him it was the easiest decision he’d ever made. And he’d meant it. He’d meant it with every single microscopic atom in his body, and still somehow it isn’t enough. It isn’t enough, and it feels like guilt. Like utter fucking heartbreak.

“David, I don’t know how else to tell you or— or to show you that this is it for me. That I love you and I’m not going anywhere.” 

“No, I know.” David breathes the words into the air like a secret, tiny and trembling, and Patrick steps closer to hear them better. “I— I know that. I do. It’s just...” 

His eyes are wet, just tinged red around the rims, and Patrick finds himself close enough to brush his thumbs across the thin, delicate skin there. To cradle his fingers around the curve of David’s jaw and wait, counting out the beats of his pulse against his fingertips. 

“I lost everything. Once before.” 

This isn’t something they talk about, and Patrick holds his breath. They’ve had plenty of conversations about David’s life Before and David’s life After, but they don’t talk about that demarcation line. They don’t talk about the day the CRA had shown up at the door and pulled the Roses’ entire plush, elegant, Persian rug of a life out from beneath their feet. 

“One day I was happy, or at least I— I thought I was. And the next I had nothing.” He breathes out a heavy, shaking breath, and Patrick traces his hands down to David’s arms, steadying him. “Clothes and pictures. That’s all. That’s all I could hold on to. As a reminder. That’s all I had left.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Patrick says again, but David shakes his head.

“You don’t know that.”

“I—”

“You don’t,” David insists, steely and sharp. “This isn’t about…” He claws at the air between them, like he’s trying to grab hold of the right words. “...you getting tired of me or— or deciding to leave or something.” 

The tension in Patrick’s spine relaxes a little at that, but David only seems to wind himself tighter. 

“It’s— It’s the choices we don’t have. The ones we don’t make. It’s... the things that are— that are taken from us.” His hands clutch at the front of Patrick’s shirt, two tight fists full of fabric, like he can hold Patrick here somehow. Patrick can feel the desperation in it, the fear and the hope and the pleading, and he finally gets it. He gets it.

David hadn’t done anything wrong, and still his entire life had been upended. His family hadn’t done anything wrong, and still everything they had made and earned and loved had been dragged right from their hands, slipping between their grasping fingers like grains of sand.

David isn’t afraid of fucking this up somehow; he’s afraid that even if he does everything right, that even if he and Patrick have the happiest marriage that’s ever existed, some cruel twist of fate is going to come along and draw another thick, black demarcation line right through his life. That no matter what he does, someday, even one far, far down the line, it will all be split into Before and After once again. That all he’ll have left to show for it are photographs to remind him of the joy and the love he’d once held before it too had been torn from his hands.

“Okay,” Patrick says, an apology and a concession in one, and he pulls David into his arms, pressing a kiss against the tender curve of his neck and splaying his hands wide across his back, trying to hold on to as much of him as he possibly can. This isn’t a fear that Patrick can soothe, he realizes—he can’t love it out of David somehow, as much as he might want to. All he can do is make every day of Before the best that it can possibly be and hope that David never actually has to see the After. “If it’s that important to you, we’ll find somewhere else in the budget that we can cut back. I want you to— to have what you need. What makes you feel safe.” He pulls back enough that he can press a gentle kiss to David’s mouth and wipe away the wet tracks along his cheeks. “I love you, best.”

“I know you do.”

“I do,” Patrick says, just to see the way it makes the corners of David’s mouth twitch up even as the rest of it curves down. “I do, I do, I do.” He leans in to kiss him again, sweet and lingering, until he can’t feel a frown hiding there anymore.

David closes his eyes and presses his forehead to Patrick’s. “Thank you, button.”

“Mmm, I wouldn’t thank me just yet. If we’re going to make this work, we might have to revisit that flannel idea.”

David’s laugh is small, but it feels like a piece of them slipping back into place. “I’d rather go naked,” he says.

Patrick grins wide and warm at the thought. “That might be the best idea you’ve had yet.”

[staryarn]

Would you be willing to like,, explain what limbus company is/talk about what you like about it? The stuff you've been reblogging of it looks really cool

So I've roughly answered this before with this but I'll try my best to paste my explanation under a cut (+ more) / word salad

LOR stands for library of ruina, project moons second game. It'd also my catchall tag for project moon because changing all the posts to that is a lot of effort and I'm a mobile user.

Project moon has three games out: Lobotomy corporation, Library of Ruina, and the newly released Limbus Company (each with a lot of world building)

Lobotomy corporation is an scp manager (monster management etc), Library of Ruina is a deck building game (/ card game), and Limbus Company is a dungeon crawler rpg (I think?? Also a gacha but is f2p / free to play friendly)

Both lobotomy corporation and Library of Ruina share most of the same cast while Limbus company has a completely new cast (though the whole game isn't out yet so I have no idea if anyone from past games show up but I hope they do).

In both Lobcorp and LOR you have Angela and the 9 Sephirah (Maluth, Yesod, Hod, Netzach, Tiphereth, Gebura , Chesed, Binah, and Hokma) as well as Roland in LOR. (I'm not about to name 9ff all of the reverberation ensemble but theyre the general antagonists of that game)

In Limbus company you have Dante, Vergilius, Charon , and the twelve sinners (Gregor, Rodion, Sinclair, Yi Sang, Ishmael, Heathcliff, Don Quixote, Hong Lu, Ryōshū, Meursault, Outis, and Faust). (And npc characters + villains who I won't explain for spoilers)

All of these games take place in a place called The City. The city has 26 districts (A-Z but Z isn't on the map). The city has a place called a wing (megacorp who runs a district) which have nests (towns) , feathere (people inside the nests), and backstreets (the place the nest doesn't encompass. Also where syndicates control. Each being the Five fingers ( The Thumb, The index (hands out prescripts), The middle, The ring, and The pinky). Each syndicate has subsidiaries but I'm not getting into that). ) There are also Fixers (hired mercenaries). Theyre graded from 9 (lowest) to 1 (highest) and then given a color (color Fixers are higher than 1). Theyre given these ranks by the Hana association (big association that hands out fixer titles etc).

Notable Color Fixers are The red mist, the blue reverberation (guy in my icon), the purple tear, and the black silence. (The vermillion crost exists but I'm not mentioning that bc spoilers. Also the Red Gaze but that's for limbus company)

In Lobcorp you're tasked with managing your abnormalities (scp) to make power (and I won't spoil how that goes)

In LOR you're tasked with fighting people (in receptions) and turning them into books so Angela (head librarian) can learn more about the city

In Limbus company you're tasked with finding and retrieving Golden Boughs (leftovers from the seed of light)

This is the like, easiest way I can explain them without slapping spoilers all over the place and trying to explain them in full.

In more detail about Limbus Company you start the game off as Dante (not a self insert. This is an actual character.) Who no longer has their head and who is being harassed for their actual head (where they genuinely don't know where it is due to amnesia). You are then introduced to Vergilius (the red gaze) and the sinners of Limbus Company (all twelve sinners are based on books. Ex- the metamorphosis, crime and punishment, Demian, Faust, wuthering heights, Moby dick etc etc).

The first three chapters (along with chapter 3.5) are out.

Canto 1 - Gregor Samsa (Metamorphosis)

Canto 2 - Rodion / Rodya (Crime and Punishment)

Canto 3 - Emil Sinclair (Demian)

3.5 (chicken event right now) - introduces the concept known as distortion

I will say that the actual storyline (as far as I'm aware) is

Limbus company -> Wonderlab -> Library of Ruina -> Distortion detective -> Leviathan -> Limbus Company

So there are a couple tiny details from Leviathan (manga / like. Novel but the last few chapters aren't actually translated so Google translate is all there is really). But but it does add more depth to characters such as Vergilius, Charon, and Faust

Also I don't remember if I actually explained this in the other post but in the project moon world there are things called E.G.O. (Extermination of Geometrical Organ). (It happens after the seed of light/ lobotomy corporation). Most of the sinners have an E.G.O (and it also can corrode and fuck them up). You can also get E.G.O from abnormalities (I don't remember if it's been explained in game). Seperately (also seen in Leviathan) there are mirror selves (actual explanation for the seperate identities for the sinners. That you can play as. I won't explain the references behind them because they're mostly based on Library of Ruina Characters so far).

Also here's the actual limbus company site (the official one)

I think that's all I can say without spoilers (it's like 1 am)

[cianmars]

Patchwork:

Robin was tasked by his father, Francis, to kill the Dark Queen Ruth and Prince David, instead he found himself falling in love with Princess Regina and the prince who quickly became his son. Aware his plans were all about to fail Francis decided to try to gain power again, this time in a new world.

In the Land without Magic, Robin is a successful lawyer who adores his young stepson. But he is forced to keep his relationship with Mayor Regina secret as his abusive father continues to try and control his life, Robin fears he will do the same to David. Or put David or Regina or her sons in danger. He is desperate to try and finally control his own life, but that is not what Francis had cast the curse for.

Archive of our own

Fanfiction.net

Chapter 1: Anniversary.

Robin stood in the ballroom with a champagne glass made of pure diamond, he was dressed in a deep purple doublet made of pure silk which cost more than some homes, he should be happy. But it was the first anniversary of his wedding to Queen Ruth, so how could he possibly be happy?

He had heard the rumours of course, everyone had, before he was married to her: she was rumoured to be the daughter of a fairy and a king, to have once been the kindest purest soul, that there had once been two princes not just Prince David, that she had withstood abuse from King Robert and was finally free when he died, that she was heartless to all even to her only child. He had heard them but it wasn’t until he took her hand in marriage that he understood how right the rumours were.

He hadn’t expected the marriage to be one based on love, he wasn’t stupid, he was young and expected to help produce heirs to continue Ruth’s family’s rule, and Robin got… well he got to be king, and if his father had his way he would be king as soon as Ruth and David died before their time.

Robin didn’t want to kill them, even after David had been the one to spill about his relationship with the scullery maid Marian, even after Ruth started to hit him. Robin didn’t want to kill them and he hadn’t thought he’d get a choice.

But Robin hadn’t been able to hate David for long, only a few weeks into his marriage he fell in love with the boy, and a week or so after that he decided no matter what he would put David first, that David was his son even if they didn’t share blood. David had been one of the only sources of light in the last year, in fact in Robin’s entire life.

The other source of light Robin had met on his wedding night, and it certainly wasn’t Ruth. No, King Robin had been dancing with other royals, as was his duty, when he was paired with a minor royal, the daughter of Prince Henry, they had both been subtly laughing at one of the traditional dances they were expected to perform. The slipped out of the ballroom to a quieter room, neither had wanted to stay in that room with all those bloodthirsty royals. They had gotten to talking and had found that they had hit it off. Their lives were similar, they had loved one of their parents and been abused and controlled by the other, they had both tried to escape only to have their loved one killed, and Robin had a new son, David, while Regina had two boys, Henry and Roland. They hit it off on other subjects too, they both had the same sense of humour, they both wanted to do what was good for their family and for strangers, they both liked the same books and had watched the same plays. They stayed in the room talking for three hours before they were discovered. They had both agreed to lend each other support, to continue their conversations, to write to each other.

They had met at first just the two of them, but soon they would bring their sons along, Robin had never seen five year old David smile so much. And Robin had smiled more than he had in his life. At David. At Henry. At Roland. And at Regina…. He smiled a lot at Regina.

They had fallen in love.

He had been hoping to bide his time, he was waiting until the opportunity where both his father and Ruth were away from the castle, then he would run away with Regina, taking David with him. But recently Francis had been losing his patience, he had expected Robin to have an heir by now, and to have killed David. There wasn’t time to wait for the opportunity. They had to run. Tonight.

Regina had already left the party, to finish packing ready to sneak away from Cora. Ruth had long left the party, she didn’t like spending time around people who smiled, she didn’t like joy, Robin was just happy that she hadn’t decided to end the party early by killing someone. It wouldn’t have been the first time. Robin had told David to pack quickly, just the things he really wanted, Robin had already prepared a bag with clothes for the both of them and some food, along with money to get the five of them far away from this land and to Arendelle.

——————————————————————————————

“Excuse me, your highness.”

Robin turned. It was a small red haired teenage boy, thin and pale, he knew he was one of his father’s servants. This couldn’t be good. “Yes?”

“Your- erm, Prince Francis asked me to pass on this note.”

“Thank you.” Robin took it and pulled the wax tab to open it. ‘Meet myself and your Queen upon the heath. This is about your heir.’

Robin swallowed. It was about David? What the hell was going on? Why were Ruth and Francis there together? Robin wouldn’t put it past Ruth to be won over by Francis, to do away with David, he had seen how dark she had become. He would not let either of them touch his son.

——————————————————————————————

Robin raced his horse to the nearby heath where Robin had met Francis many times. It was dark and damp but the stars and the moon shone above head, a little bit of light to guide him on his way, as his mother would have said. The figure of Francis was clear despite the dark thanks to a glowing deep purple flame floating in the air.

Ruth was there, he shouldn’t be surprised that Francis was telling the truth he was a bastard but he didn’t often lie, at least not to Robin, but he was surprised to see Ruth smiling.

Robin glanced from smiling Ruth to his father nervously. “What is this?”

“Well, our Queen has news for you, but first I have to talk to you, my son.”

Shit, did they know he was going to snatch David and run?

“My loyal, faithful, obedient son.” Francis was smiling but it wasn’t friendly, it was a sneer.

He was mad, super mad, this wasn’t good, Robin would have to think on his feet.

Francis waved his hand and suddenly an invisible sparkling pair of handcuffs encircled Ruth’s hand. She stopped smiling but there was a magical patch appeared on her mouth to stop her from saying anything. Francis could use magic, thought normally he preferred to inflict pain with his own hands: up close and personal.

“Father-.”

“No.” Francis growled. “You were tasked with killing the queen, and the brat.”

Robin could see anger in Ruth’s eyes. “I was… I was waiting to produce an heir.” He lied.

“Congratulations, my son, you’ve produced one.” He looked almost regretfully at Ruth.

“W-What?!”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Francis sighed. “You disappointed me. I know of your plan, with the brat and with that, that common -“

A sudden fire of bravery alit inside his heart. “Do not talk about David or Regina like that. They are better, kinder, people than you will ever be.”

Francis’ face scrunched up. He looked at his son as though he was a particularly unpleasant type of unidentifiable algae. “Why on earth would I ever want to be kind?”

Robin’s stomach turned. When he was a child he had hoped his father was secretly kind, that he was wearing a mask of evil for some reason, later he had hoped he would turn good. Now Robin knew that he genuinely didn’t understand being nice or kind or good.

“What are you going to do to me?”

“You? I think you mean what am I going to do to this entire kingdom. Someone close to you helped me prepare something special. You disappoint me Robin. This was all going to be ours, power was finally within our grasp, nearly.” He sighed again, a heavy genuinely disappointed sigh. “Anyway, let us try again, in a new kingdom. It will require a sacrifice though. Only this time, you will do as you are told.”

Robin steeled himself. “Father-.”

Francis drew a shining dagger from his belt.

With one flick of the wrist the dagger went flying, cutting Ruth’s throat before imbedding itself in a tree with a flunk.

Robin hadn’t loved Ruth, he hadn’t even liked her, hell he hated her but as he watched the blood spurt out of her throat in forced silence thanks to Francis’ magic, Robin let out a yelp of protest. But he couldn’t move for fear of it being done to him too, and he would leave David defenceless. “B-But she meant nothing to you! She wasn’t a sacrifice-!”

“I wasn’t lying about your child. That’s the sacrifice I am making.”

“You’re deranged!” But as he spoke Ruth’s blood rolled through the dirt into a dip in the ground Robin was only just noticing…. It was bubbling as though it was being boiled.

Green fog rose from the sordid ground thick and fast, engulfing them and spreading quickly across the entire kingdom.

“What the fu-.”

——————————————————————————————

When the fog faded all the people had gone.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

There was a weird bell ringing.

No.

It was his alarm clock buzzing.

Robin groaned. He needed a holiday, a vacation as it was called in this realm, realm? He meant country, of course. He pushed himself to sit up in his bed, everything was in its usual place but it felt strange, he felt strange, he had had the strangest dream… his father… David… nope, it was gone.

He scrubbed his hand over his face and forced himself out of his bed.

He went about his usual morning routine; he showered, trimmed his beard so it was fashionably short yet present. His work ‘uniform’ was all pretty similar, an expensive suit in grey, navy, or black, a well fitting shirt, and a tie. He dressed and spritzed cologne before heading downstairs.

He headed to the kitchen and prepared what was sure to be the first of many coffees that day. He didn’t bother to start breakfast, he’d already decided to grab food on the way to work, instead he headed into his office, he had already gotten things in order the night before but he took them out of his briefcase and flicked through some of the cases he was working on, he flicked through emails, sending quick rather curt replies to several, he was ready for work early.

That was the easy part.

He headed back upstairs, stopping before he could reach his own bedroom door, he pushed it open and walked in.

He perched on the side of the bed and flicked on the bedside lamp on. He smiled for the first time that morning when the little blonde head came out from inside the burrow of blankets on the bed.

David wasn’t even awake properly yet and there was already a pout on his face and a small whine accompanying him being woken up.

“Hey there, Sunshine. It’s time for school, we’ve gotta get going soon.” He tugged the blankets down knowing if he didn’t David would try and bury back down again, especially today, even if David didn’t understand why.

David pushed himself to sit up, a mini-mirror of his step father’s waking up habits, he rubbed his eyes with his fists, but instead of moving to stand up he slumped against him, hiding his face against Robin’s soft cotton shirt. “Daddy I’m poorly.”

Robin frowned, David never admitted to being sick, even if he was puking his guts up he would claim he was okay.

“I’ve gotta stay home with you.”

Robin squeezed his eyes and let his head drop as he realised exactly why it was David was admitting to being ‘sick’, he had been doing this all week but he seemed okay. He pressed a kiss onto the top of his blonde slightly curled hair, David looked at him with those beautiful blue puppy dog eyes. He pretended to feel for his temperature quickly, he was a little warm but that was due to being wrapped up to his forehead in layers of duvet and blankets for the past ten hours. “Hmm, you don’t seem to have temperature, do I need to take you to see the doctor.”

“No!” David pulled a face. He didn’t like doctors clinics and hospitals, they smelt weird and he didn’t like Robin having to say some things quietly to David’s doctor, he didn’t like not knowing if Robin was about to disappear. “I just need to stay with you.”

“Davey, you’ve got to go to school, it’s the law. If you still feel poorly at the weekend I’ll take you to get checked over and I’ll stay home with you next week.” He promised.

“It’s not fair.” David crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

“I know.” Robin soothed. He stood up off his bed and picked him up under his arms placing him down so he was forced to stand up and start getting ready. “Go the loo mate, I’ll get your school uniform out, we really need to get a move on or we’ll both be late.” He rolled his eyes as the little boy made his way out of his room, deliberately making his footsteps as loud as possible without outright stamping.

Robin grabbed David’s uniform, he went to local the public school, Storybrooke Elementary but they still wore school uniforms, it reminded Robin of his own primary education back in England, he’d hated wearing them too.

He grabbed what David needed and laid it all on his bed, quickly making his bed as he did so, their housekeeper would be coming today to put new bedding on but Robin liked the house to look at least a little neat before she got there. He had gotten that from his mother.

——————————————————————————————

Robin went downstairs and grabbed the food he had gotten ready the night before and packed it into David’s lunchbox, then he went hunting for the signed forms for David’s field trip, and the cheque for his after school care for the next month, and for David’s homework and reading books, he never understood how the kid somehow managed to lose everything even if Robin did his best to put them safe.

David came down the stairs still pouting, Robin knew he didn’t realise that it was actually just adorable not in a ‘win them over’ sort of way. It didn’t work on Robin. It really, really, really didn’t.

“C’mere mate.” He crouched down and straightened up his polo shirt collar so it was straight and the buttons were done up. He quickly switched which feet David’s shoes were on. He grabbed David’s brush to try and tame his wild hair at least a little. “Perfect.” David’s face showed it was anything but. “C’mon Davey, kindergarten isn’t that bad.”

“I wanna stay with you.”

Robin nearly broke hearing how sad he sounded. “I know, I would love to spend the day with you too. But you know what daddy does for his job, right?”

“You make sure people don’t get in trouble?”

“Well,” fuck, “kind of, I help people who don’t have anyone else to help them, I make sure they don’t get in trouble for things they didn’t do.” He also, sometimes helped people who did do it, though legally he never asked it was just easier that way, and sometimes he helped people who did have other people but also had money and could pay him so he could afford to help those who needed it most. But that was a little complicated to explain to a five year old.

“Do you understand why I need to go to work today?” He still felt bad. David nodded and he felt worse because he knew he couldn’t win. “Good boy. Let’s get some breakfast, yeah? We can go to Granny’s cafe.”

——————————————————————————————

David had cheered up enough by the time they were seated in Granny’s that Robin wasn’t double guessing pulling a sickie.

Robin drank tea and ate eggs and toast, while he had treated David to waffles.

“Remember to drink your milk.” He nudged the glass closer to him. “It’ll help you grow up big and strong.”

“Did you?”

“Of course! It’s how I’m so tall and strong!” He showed off his muscles, pulling a funny face to make David giggle. He felt surprisingly flattered when David drank his milk despite the laughter.

Robin heard someone clearing their voice and ice ran down his spine, he found himself clutching the cutlery as he turned around. Francis. He didn’t look happy. “Father. It’s good to see you. You’re looking well.” He didn’t look unwell but he definitely looked angry, but Robin couldn’t begin to think why. He also was surprised to see him stood in line to get coffee here- his large house was between Storybrooke and his offices in the city, the opposite direction. Why would he need to get coffee here when he could get some from a million other places?

“Hello Grandad Francis.” David greeted politely.

Robin looked at his son how he often did, with pride, but he couldn’t help but wish that Francis was a few hundred miles away from the two of them.

“David.” Francis greeted curtly. He looked at Robin and David curiously. His jaw clenched in thinly veiled and unreasonable rage. “What a nice stepfather - stepson outing.”

Robin didn’t have to look at David to know that upset him, hell it upset Robin too. He had been in David’s life since for nearly three years half of David’s life, and had been David’s only parent for the past two years - he was the only one who could claim to be David’s father, he wasn’t a step anything. “Father, it was nice bumping into you, but I must take David to work, I have cases to examine at work.” He smiled but it was as cold as Francis’.

“Ah yes, of cause. Perhaps lunch then?”

“I’m sorry, I have a business lunch. Perhaps another time?” He was not about to give a date for when, not if he could help it.

“I will hold you to that. I hope you behave at school today David.” He stood for thirty seconds before his name was called. “That’s me.” He nodded a goodbye and took his leave.

[justanoutlawfic]

The Sematary: An Outlaw Queen Ficlet

Summary: When Robin & Regina move to a small town in Maine, she finds a strange ritual takes place in the woods when a pet passes away. Little does she realize she'll be doing the same when she loses someone close to her.

For day 1 of Spooky OQ:  Cemetery. Lovers. A ritual.

Warning: Character Death & Murder take place

Also on AO3

He had done it for her, like he did everything else. Robin had loved the city. Boston hadn’t been his hometown, but it reminded him of London. The kids would learn about taking the train, sidewalk etiquette and never be far from their neighbors. It was important to him. But when Regina got the job offer in the small farm town of Storybrooke, Maine, he said yes. She hadn’t expected him to. Regina was ready for a fight. She had a list of arguments ready: there was a great private school, cheaper housing (not to mention they could live in an actual house) and it was a short two-hour train ride away from Boston so they could visit family and friends at least once a month.

 She didn’t have to go into any of the arguments. Robin just smiled, took hold of her hands and agreed. Because that’s what he always did: make sacrifices for her.

 They moved in the early fall. As their beige Honda headed out of the city and towards the country side, they could see the reds and yellows falling from the trees. Henry and Roland pressed their noses to the glass, giggling as their father went over the bumps in the road. Bryony sat in between them. They got lucky and the 1-year-old slept for most of the trip, her head bobbing up and down all the way.

 Regina’s hand rested atop of Robin’s, glancing smiles at him every so often as they crossed the town line. It was a change for both of them. She had been raised in Boston; he had moved there after the death of his parents. This would be their first time in the country. It would be his first time not working. They had agreed it’d be best for him to be a stay-at-home dad for a bit now that they could afford it.

 “Are you sure this is okay?” She whispered.

“It’s a dream job for you,” he replied. He flashed her a smile that showed off those dimples that Roland had inherited. “Your own practice. You can do whatever you want with it, out of the grips of your mother and Whale.”

 Regina let out a content sigh. She had gone into medicine partially to please her mother, but she had really wanted to do it for herself too. She had spent so long working for Cora’s clinic and dealing with her critical eye. Then there was Victor Whale, the misogynistic partner. Regina loved the patients. She just hated work. Now, she hoped that would all change.

 15 minutes later, they pulled up in front of an old three-story farmhouse. There was a fresh coat of white paint and crooked black windows. A deep ruby barn sat behind the house, clearly having seen better days. The entire property was surrounded by trees that were turning, the leaves sprinkling to the ground.

 Henry and Roland scrambled from their seats, running towards the house. Regina got out, removing Bryony from her seat. Robin stood beside his girls, putting an arm around them. She leaned into him, smiling a bit.

 “We can be happy here,” she said. “Don’t you think?”

“I know we can.”  

****************************************************

Unpacking was probably Regina’s unfavorite task. It was hard enough in a 2-bedroom apartment, but even worse in a big house. Robin was dealing with the upstairs, while she handled the living room and kitchen. Bryony and Roland sat in front of the T.V, their eyes glued. Henry had decided to play outside for a bit to get a break from the “babies”. He was only 3 years older than Roland, but at 8 that must have seemed like eons.

 Regina wiped her flannel clad arm against her forehead before taking a swig from her water bottle. She glanced out the window in time to watch her oldest child head straight into the woods-something she had told him strictly not to do. Regina hopped to her feet instantly.

 “Roland, keep an eye on your sister. Go get Daddy upstairs if you need anything.”

 She waited for a grunt of acknowledgement which is all she could expect from him when it came to SpongeBob. Regina headed out into the yard, walking towards the woods. She had yet to go in there since moving in and hadn’t necessarily planned to.

 “Henry!” She called out. “Henry Daniel! I told you not to go in here!”

 Regina walked further through the trees, her heartbeat picking up a bit. She hopped over logs and mud puddles, shivering a bit in her light flannel. As she turned a corner, she heard some chanting and paused.

 A group of children walked past her. They were dressed in what she had only seen in books from her Native American Anthropology course in college, in all deerskin.  Some wore headdresses with feathers. All of them, however, donned wooden masks shaped like wolves. They were holding something up with colorful sticks. Regina took a closer look and realized it was a dog. A dead dog.

Regina’s eyes widened and she ran as fast as she could past the ritual, calling Henry’s name all the way. She was going so fast, she didn’t realize that she was about to trip over a log until she fell into a pair of arms. Looking up, she found a kind but rough face. The woman had white hair which was pulled back into a white bun. She wore a green camo jacket and khaki pants. Her brown boots were caked with mud, clearly from the woods. Regina stumbled back a bit, causing the older woman to laugh.

“Sorry for scaring you, just wanted to make sure you didn’t get hurt.”

Regina put her hand over her chest, trying to catch her breath. “I’m just looking for my son. Have you seen him?” She gestured halfway up her torso. “Ye high. Dark brown hair, hazel eyes, red and grey scarf...”

A familiar voice called out. “Mommy!”

Regina spun around and found Henry standing in the midst of a makeshift graveyard. The stones were misshapen and crooked, all handcarved. A handmade wooden sign in the front of it read “Pet Sematary”. Regina rushed over, pulling her son close.

“Henry! What did I tell you about going into the woods!” She chastised. “It’s dangerous here.”

“I saw other kids and I wanted to play with them.”

Regina’s mind flashed to the procession she had witnessed and she felt a chill run down her spine. “That doesn’t give you a right to come in here.”

“But Mom…”

The older woman stepped forward. “Your mother is right. These woods are not a playground. Those children aren’t here to play,”

“What are they doing?”

She gave him a gentle smile. “They’re burying a pet.”

Henry looked around the cemetery. “Here?”

“No.” She bit her lip and looked off into the distance. “Not here.”

Regina held Henry closer. “We just moved into the farmhouse. Is this part of our property.”

“We share it,” the old woman explained. “It falls smack dab in the middle of our property lines. I’m Eugena Lucas. I live a bit down that way...” She gestured south. “With my granddaughter, Ruby.”

“I’m Henry,” the little boy, piped up. “That’s my mom, Regina.”

Eugena smiled. “Well,” she said. “It’s very nice to meet you both. I’d be happy to tell you all about Storybrooke sometime, just not in the woods.”

Regina nodded, feeling her heart calming a bit. “Sure...that sounds very nice. How about you come to our place for dinner?”

***************************************

The next few weeks were spent adjusting to their new home. Roland and Henry started off at Storybrooke Academy. Regina officially reopened the doctor’s office that had been closed for far too long after the old one had passed. Eugena stopped by for dinner at least once a week, sometimes she’d bring her granddaughter, but mostly she came alone. She explained that she had raised Ruby all by herself. Her daughter, Anita, had passed on, but she didn’t offer more information than that and Regina didn’t want to pry.

One evening while Robin gave the kids a bath, Regina and Eugena sat on the back deck drinking warm cider in the big adirondack chairs. The former’s eyes glanced towards the woods. She hadn’t been in there since that afternoon and yet, she couldn’t take her mind off of it. She had dreams about the children and that dog. The German Shepherd-blood matted his fur-would show up at the house and bark for hours on end until she’d force herself to wake up.

“That procession,” Regina said. “The one I saw the day we met. Why do they do that? You said they’re not burying them in the cemetery you were in.”

Eugena was quiet for a minute, taking a slurp from her mug. “You know the cliff, the one overlooking the cemetery?” Regina nodded. “There’s another graveyard up there. Legend has it that a spirit called Wendigo inhabits it. If you bury your pet there, then they’ll come back to you.”

Regina tilted her head. “Seriously?”

Eugena nodded. “Yes. It’s tradition. The Natives have done it in these parts for years now and it’s passed onto the other locals.”

Regina fiddled with her wedding band. “Have you ever done it?”

Another silence. “Of course not.”

“Eugena.”

The screen door slid open and Roland came running out in his fox pajamas, jumping into Eugea’s lap.

“Can you read me a story, Mrs. Lucas?”

“Roland,” Regina chastised. “I’m sure Mrs. Lucas wants to get back to her home.”

Eugena shook her head and smiled. “I’d love to read to you, sweetheart.” She gathered Roland into her arms and headed back into the house, leaving Regina with more questions than answers.

******************************************

Mischief Night had been busy for Regina during her residency in the ER and nothing had changed in a small town. She spent the night stitching up drunk frat boys and finding trails of toilet paper following in the teenage girls. By the time she could head home, she was exhausted. She still hadn’t recovered by Halloween when it was time for the boys to go out trick-or-treating. 

“Can you just take them?” she asked Robin.

He gave her a look. “Seriously?”

“I worked a double shift last night.”

“And I had to deal with Bryony’s ear infection, help Henry with his Science project and make two dozen cupcakes for Roland’s class party.”

“Robin…”

“No, it’s fine. It’s fine.” He headed for the closet, fumbling through the hangers to find his heavy jacket. 

“Robin.” Regina forced herself out of bed. “If you want me to go, I’ll go.”

“I said it’s fine, Regina.”

“But clearly it’s not, so just talk to me.”

Robin sighed, turning to face her. “This just isn’t what I expected when we moved here, you know? Me basically doing everything alone with the kids. You’re too exhausted to be a part of this family.”

“Robin, you knew that I was going to be doing this practice basically on my own. It’s going to be hectic and crazy…”

“But you have a family. We’re here and we’re waiting for you.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I am so damn proud of you, you have no idea. Sometimes...I just miss the way it used to be.”

Regina frowned as he walked out the door. The truth was, she missed it too. She had just been so obsessed with making everything perfect at the clinic, she had let things slip at home. Regina had taken for granted the fact that he would do anything to make him happy. What had she done to make him happy in awhile? Not anything special. 

That night, she passed out the candy and put Bryony to bed on her own. She lit a few candles and dressed in the only lingerie that still fit her post-baby. 45-minutes after the last flame was lit, she could hear the door open. Robin told the boys to leave the candy on the counter and change out of their costumes before bed. Regina reached over and pressed play on her iPod, allowing the sounds of Frank Sinatra to play. Another 20 minutes later and he was up in the room, doing a double take from the doorway.

Regina got up, pouring out the scotch she had retrieved from the kitchen. She walked over and handed him a glass.

“What is all this?” he asked.

“It’s our Halloween.”

“Regina…”

“I know it’s not going to fix everything...but I want to start.”

Robin bit down on his lip, looking from the candles, to the scotch, to her. “I shouldn’t have exploded at you like that earlier.”

“You didn’t explode and I deserved what you said. I work hard, but our family deserves just as much of my efforts.” She kissed him gently. “I’m gonna make it work. I promise. You gave up so much for us to move here. You always make sacrifices for me...I want to do that for you.”

Robin knocked back his scotch, placing the glass onto the bookcase. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing his forehead against hers.

“I don’t need you to give up anything. I just need my wife more.”

She did her best to attempt to wink, knowing she would fail. It made him laugh, which ultimately made her smile. “Well, your wish is my command.”

***************************************

The next few weeks were spent with Regina learning to juggle life and work better. She managed her hours more, hired some more help and yet, still had time for her family. It wasn’t a perfect situation by any means, but they were finding their way. Her family had adjusted their expectations a bit as well. They didn’t want her to be superwoman and overexert herself. No, all they wanted was their Regina a bit more.

Roland’s birthday came near Thanksgiving. Despite the chill, he insisted on having an outdoor birthday party. Everyone was invited, from the kids in his kindergarten class, to their family from Boston and even the Lucases. They all gathered in the front yard, the kids chasing each other about. Regina leaned into Robin, feeling his heartbeat through his winter jacket. Eugena was holding Bryony with the same look about her she always had when she did. Regina wondered if she thought about Anita when she saw the little girl. Eugena hadn’t spoke of her daughter since that night on the porch and Regina didn’t want to pry into her personal life. Ruby didn’t speak of her mother either, but she had been an infant herself when she passed.

Regina got pulled away from her husband to get the cake ready. As she stuck the candles into the buttercream frosting, she heard a horn blaring from the long dirt road that stretched out in front of their home. Regina looked up to see a single blue ball sitting in the center of the road, a present Roland had received from his aunt Mary Margaret. Roland was sprawled off to the side of it on the grass , looking paralyzed with fear. Regina ran to him, gathering him in her arms.

“Roland, sweetheart, are you alright?” She pressed a kiss to her head. “We don’t chase after balls in the street, you know that.”

Roland didn’t say anything. Regina looked down at him, his brown eyes as wide as the ball in the middle of the road. His index finger was pointed outwards and Regina followed the direction it was pointed to. There was a pick-up truck, now on it’s side. The front bumper was dented and the window shattered. Blood stained the road, looking almost copper. Regina continued looking down as if it were a maze. There was a ditch off to the side and Regina spotted bits of green fluff. Her father had come beside her and she put Roland into her arms, dashing across the road.

Regina knelt in front of the ditch, moving over the body that lay inside of it. As soon as she saw the face, she let out a blood curdling scream. Robin’s face had glass inside of if it and he was bleeding heavily. He wasn’t moving. Regina clung his body closer to her own, the tears falling down her face and the screams continuing to ring out.

**************************************************************

Her father took the kids back to Boston for her, so she could get the house ready. Regina wouldn’t stick around for the sale of it, but the realtor promised it would go fairly quickly. Dr. Shepherd would take over the practice in her absence. The town would move on without her.

If only she could feel like she could move on.

Her heart had a hole inside of it. No, she didn’t even feel like she had a heart. It had been ripped out the day Robin died.

Some witnesses had tried their best to explain what had happened. Roland and his friends had been playing with the ball when it roamed into the street. He went after it, not noticing the truck barreling down the road. Robin had gone after him. He had managed to push their son out of the way, but it had been too late for him.

No matter what they said, Regina knew it was her fault. She had moved them there, to that stupid, quiet town. If they had stayed in Boston, in their 2-bedroom apartment overlooking the water, Roland would have had his party at the science museum. No one would have been put in danger. They wouldn’t have even opened their presents at the party, rather than at home. If they had stayed in Boston, Roland wouldn’t have told Regina that he never wanted a birthday again. Her kids would still have a father.

Regina wouldn’t be a widow.

She had to be selfish. She had to ask him to do it for her. Why hadn’t he put up a fight? Why had he done everything for her? God, why had he been the perfect man?

Regina sat on the back porch, a mug of spiked cider in her hands. She stared out into the distance, thinking of their wedding day. Despite Cora’s wishes for a lavish ceremony, it had been small. Just family and a few friends. Regina wore a white dress that cut off at the knees and Robin hadn’t even put on his suit jacket. They were married by Regina’s med school friend, Archie Hopper, who had been ordained but ordinarily was a psychiatrist. It was simple. She had feathers in her bouquet and her earrings. Maybe it wasn’t what her mother had wanted, but it was what Regina had wanted.

Robin’s funeral had been bigger than their wedding. Everyone was far more dressed up too, though everyone wore black. Regina didn’t utter a single word as she watched the casket be lowered into the ground. She just held Bryony in her arms, Roland’s hand in her free one. Henry was stoically beside her, his childhood ruined by this terrible day.

It had killed Regina to let her father take the kids, but she knew it was necessary to get everything done. Besides, they’d be in good hands. Cora had left Henry Sr. for a rich businessman when Regina was in college, so there was no way the kids would have to deal with her. They would be around Henry and his new wife, other family and friends. Regina wasn’t sure if she was strong enough to hold it together for them at the moment.

Robin probably would have been. He probably wouldn’t have had to move back at all. Hell, he wouldn’t have left Boston in the first place.

“You shouldn’t be alone right now.” 

Regina looked up to find Eugena standing there, lantern hand. “Kids need stability right now,” she muttered. “And that’s not me.”

Eugena settled into the chair beside her. “When I lost my husband...well...that was hard.”

Regina stared into her blue eyes. “You lost a husband and a child. How...how did you move on? Because right now, not a lot is keeping me from wanting to walk into a river.”

“Well, after Alfred, I had Anita. Then after her... I had Ruby. And luckily for you, Regina, you still have your brood. They need their mother.”

Regina swallowed hard, the alcohol tainted cider burning her throat. “Robin was always the better parent. Even back in Boston when he was teaching, he was home more.”

“That doesn’t change a thing. They need you.”

“They need both of us.” Regina bit her lip. She knew she was pushing, but now Eugena was not the only one who had lost someone. “You said once that you never buried someone in that special cemetary, the one that the spirit guarded.”

“Regina…”

“I didn’t believe you. I never said anything more, but I know it’s not true.” Eugena ducked her head. “Is it?”

Eugena’s head stayed on the glowing bulb inside the green wired lantern. For awhile, the only sounds that could be heard were those of the rustling wind and the few birds that didn’t go South for the winter. Regina’s eyes stayed burned on her friend. She held the key to this lock, and to Regina, it wasn’t fair that she was keeping it a secret.

“I didn’t live in the woods when Alfred died,” Eugena said, softly. Her eyes didn’t move from the lantern. “We owned a bed and breakfast in town, along with a diner. After he passed, however, times were tough. I sold both along with the house and moved to the cottage here with Anita. She got pregnant very young, the father of the baby took off. He was scum anyway. I was disappointed and made that abundantly clear. I just didn’t understand why she wanted to keep it. She was a child herself.”

Regina could hear the guilt in Eugena’s voice and placed a hand over her own.

“Henry is only 8, but I can imagine feeling similar if he got a girl pregnant.”

Eugena shook her head. “You’d be kinder than me, Regina. You’re a much better mother.”

“Eugena…”

“It’s true. I made a lot of mistakes. I was so angry with her. I said things...things I wish I could take back.” Her voice shook and in the light of the lantern, Regina could see a tear fall down her face. “Eventually, Anita went into labor. She had a lot of complications and ended up hemorrhaging. Ruby was fine, perfectly healthy. Anita...however…” She trailed off, the tears still falling.

“She died,” Regina whispered.

“I was a wreck. I didn’t know what to do. Anita had insisted on a homebirth and there I was. I had her lifeless body on the bed, Ruby crying in my arms. I couldn’t lose my child.” Eugena wiped her tears. “I had heard of the legend of Wendigo. Before I knew it, I left Ruby with the people who lived here at the time and was dragging Anita’s body up the hill. I buried her there.”

Regina had tears falling down her own face from Eugena’s story. “Did it work?”

“It did. Yes. Anita returned at the cottage that evening.”

Regina smiled for a moment in spite of her tears, but then it faltered. She had never once seen Anita. Both she and Eugena both said she was dead. “But…”

“But she wasn’t the same. There was a darkness about her. She didn’t smile, she never ate. One day, the kitchen nearly burned down. There were reports of murders throughout the town and though I was suspicious, I tried not to blame her. Then one day, I caught her trying to hurt Ruby. That’s when I knew.” Her eyes clamped shut. “I had to put a stop to her.”

Regina’s stomach dropped. “So you…”

“Managed to get one over on her. Gave her a proper burial in the family plot. Told Ruby that her mother died in a car accident and left it at that.”

Regina looked towards the woods. She knew Eugena’s story was a cautionary tale, but she also knew she could get her husband back.

“You can’t Regina,” Eugena told her. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Robin would never be like that.” Regina wasn’t sure if she was talking to her friend or herself. “He’s not capable of evil.”

“It’s not them, it’s the spirit.”

“I could have him back.”

“I know you miss him, I know it’s hard. But you just heard my story. Either way, there’s no happy ending. Just close up the house and go to Boston.”

Regina’s eyes flickered back to Eugena. “My heart feels like it has been ripped out. I don’t sleep. I don’t eat. I have lost my soulmate, my best friend. I can’t go on without him.” She grabbed hold of Eugena’s hands. “Please. You are the only person that can help me with this.”

“Regina, it’s too dangerous. He’ll hurt people.”

“I can make sure he doesn’t! I know my Robin!”

“You know your Robin! Not this version of him!”

“I need him back!”

“Sometimes the dead is better off dead!”

“Would you have let anyone talk you back from bringing back Anita?”

Eugena sighed, pulling away from Regina. She massaged her temples. Regina stayed leaning forward, the tears falling.

“We’ll need two shovels,” Eugena said, after five minutes. “And we need to do this tonight.”

**********************************************

The grass hadn’t even had a chance to grow back where Robin had been buried. The dirt was sleek and wet as they dug it up. Regina was surprised at how fast Eugena was able to work, in spite of her age. They didn’t speak as they dug, getting the dirt and grime all over their pants and jackets. As they flung it forward, it managed to cover up the gravestone and mask the death date. It wouldn’t matter anymore by the end of the night, anyhow.

After two hours of digging, they reached the casket. Regina used a rock to break off the clasp and the top was opened. Robin laid lifeless as he had the day of the funeral, dressed in the suit John had picked out for him to help Regina out. He looked handsome, from the neck down. Meanwhile, the scars from the accident were healing on his face. Regina pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Not to worry sweetheart,” she whispered. “You’re coming home to me.”

The two women dragged his body out of the ground and back to Eugena’s pick up truck. Regina sat in the back, her arms clutching her husband’s corpse, clearly not about to let go anytime soon. She knew she would have to reburry him again but for the moment, he could be hers. His head laid on her lap, her fingers carding through his cold, blonde hair.

Eugena stopped just short of the Pet Sematary and the two dragged his body through it, then up the hill. They stopped every so often to catch their breath or take a swig of water. Regina made sure Robin wasn’t injured any further.

Eventually, Eugena called out to stop. The dimming glow of her lantern showed pebbles on the ground making out crosses. They dropped the body and Regina began to dig. Eugena had explained that it had to be her to do it, or it wouldn’t work. Once it was shallow enough, she gently pushed her husband’s body in and kissed the top of his forehead.

“I love you, sweetheart,” she whispered.

The dirt went back on top of him and Regina turned to Eugena, who looked a mix of exhausted and concerned. Hand in hand, they walked back down the cliff, separating to go back to their homes. Regina thanked the older woman but she didn’t respond.

Once home, Regina took a hot shower and changed into flannel pajama pants and an old band t-shirt that belonged to Robin. She climbed into the chair by the window in the living room and waited. As the hours ticked by, her eyelids grew heavier. She tried to fight it, but found it difficult.  Eventually, she was asleep.

********************************************

Regina awoke to a crashing sound. She fumbled out of the chair and ran to the source, which seemed to be at the back of the house. As she rushed into the kitchen, she nearly tripped over a pair of Robin’s old sneakers and caught herself on the counter. When she looked up, she saw him.

He was wearing the suit they had buried him in, though it was covered in mud. The scar from the accident ran down his face, a reminder of the time he saved their middle child’s life. His hair wasn’t blonde anymore, but brown from all the dirt and rain. He had tracked in water and mess, but Regina didn’t care. Her eyes were focused on his blue ones.

“Robin,” she breathed.

She ran to him, throwing her arms around his torso. His heart beat evenly and it was like a symphony to her. She waited for him to return the hug, but he just stood there.

“Regina.”

His voice was cold. Empty. She had never heard it like that before. Looking up at his face, she couldn’t even see the dimples that Roland had inherited from him. Slowly, Regina pulled away.

“How am I back?” He asked.

“I...I found a way.” She suddenly felt nervous. “Eugena helped me.”

Robin looked around the room. The sun was coming up. “Where are the kids?”

“My dad took them back to Boston after you…” Regina couldn’t bring herself to say it. “You’re back now, so it doesn’t matter. I can get them back.”

Robin walked past her, to the fridge. He stared at a photo of the five of them. Eugena had taken it not long after they moved in. The boys were standing in front, beaming proudly. Robin held Bryony in one arm, the other around his wife. Both he and Regina were smiling. He took it off and continued to look at it for a moment, before crumpling it in his hand. Regina let out a gasp. 

“Robin!”

He looked back at her and his eyes were so cold, it stopped her in her tracks. “You shouldn’t have done this, Regina. You shouldn’t have brought me back.”

Regina stood there frozen for a moment, searching for any trace of her husband. He had to be in there. He had to be somewhere. She had been so desperate in her grief to get him back, that she had done this for a reason.

“I just...I couldn’t go on without you.”

“So, you decided to do this to me?!?” He pointed a finger in her direction.. “For once, could you just consider someone but yourself?!?”

Regina shook. She thought of their marriage. All he had done for her, to be with her. They had moved here, for her. And now he was back, because she couldn’t even let him go.

“Do you know what this is?” he continued, without missing a beat. “Do you know what happened when I crawled out of the ground and felt this urge in my body?” Regina slowly shook her head. “This isn’t the fucking man I was.”

Regina looked closer at his hands and saw blood. That would make sense due to the accident, except it was fresh. Suddenly, she found herself taking three steps back.

“Robin ...you're right,” she reasoned. “This isn’t you. But I know deep down, inside...there’s the man I married. The man I love! The man I couldn’t live without!”

“No.” Robin shook his head. “That man is gone.”

He lunged forward and Regina grabbed hold of a serving bowl, throwing it towards him. It was enough to stun him and allow her time to escape the house. She ran as fast as she could, fear and guilt consuming her. This wasn’t her husband. This wasn’t her Robin. No, this was another person entirely. Like Eugena had said, it was like something had taken over. God, why hadn’t she listened to her? 

Regina ran through the Pet Sematary and got to the Lucas cottage. She burst through the door, calling out Eugena and Ruby’s names. As she made it round to the staircase, however, she found both Lucas women on the ground. Ruby was unconscious, bleeding from the abdomen. Eugena had the knife protruded into her neck, blood still flowing. Regina’s breath hitched,  her hand flying over her mouth.

If the demon had taken over Anita and Eugena had killed its host, then it would make sense why it would come back for them first. Even so, Regina had lost too much over the past few weeks and now, her best friend.

She also knew, she didn’t have a lot of time. Regina went back to the kitchen and took hold of another butcher’s knife, hiding it behind her back. She had to remind herself that this wasn’t her husband. She had buried him a week ago.

Regina made it as far as the sematary when she found Robin waiting by the cliff. He had that smile on his face, the dimples showing. It didn’t match his eyes, though. The baby blues were gone, replaced by darkness. Regina stepped forward, feeling a chill from being out in next to nothing.

“You were selfish,” the demon disguised as Robin declared. “You were horrible.”

“Yes, yes I was.”

“You were warned.”

“Also very true.”

“Why?” He glared down at her. “Tell me why?”

“Because, I was in love. Our story was so damn short. And, I guess it still doesn’t get a happy ending.”

Regina whipped her right hand around and did it without a second thought. Robin’s body collapsed to the ground, the darkness seeping from his eyes. She collapsed beside him, the tears falling down her cheeks. He had only been alive again for less than 20 minutes but it was enough for a second lifetime. Yet in it, he had been possessed and murdered people they considered family.

“Love really is weakness,” Regina whispered.