#rolling around on these pictures like a cat on catnip

[hyunpic]

hyunjin on instagram: 🖤

[pfhwrittes]

a continuation of my catdad!simon riley thoughts absolutely inspired by this ask

catdad!simon who nearly an entire year later is outside the building to his flat finishing off a cigarette and holding a takeaway kebab when he hears the most pitiful meow and sighs.

catdad!simon who looks down and blinks twice because there is a teeny tiny orange kitten trying to scale his jeans to get to his kebab meat.

catdad!simon who detaches the little sod with a gruff "piss off, you thievin' git" but drops a strip of his doner kebab on its head anyway.

catdad!simon who scoops up the little thing after sharing a few more chunks of his kebab with it and brings it inside his flat.

catdad!simon who greets Cat at the door with a fond "hiya sweet'eart" as she winds her way around his legs yelling at the top of her lungs for her own dinner.

catdad!simon who laughs when Cat finally catches on that her Dad has brought an Interloper into the house and puffs up like a halloween decoration.

catdad!simon who sets the kitten up in the bathroom while Cat hisses and growls from the other side of the door. catdad!simon who gets aggressively scented by Cat when he finally comes out before she sits glaring at the bathroom door for the rest of the evening.

catdad!simon who takes the kitten to the vets in the morning and is greeted by the same bubbly vet tech from the last time he came in with a surprise kitten.

catdad!simon who tells the vet tech that the kitten is called "Kebab Meat" when they ask for its name.

catdad!simon who learns that Kebab Meat is a little fella and walks out with another pamphlet on neutering his pets, some flea treatment for Cat and a pamphlet on "introducing your kitten to their new home!"

catdad!simon who has to teach Cat not to treat Kebab Meat like a catnip mouse after Kebab Meat gets bunny kicked across the kitchen floor.

catdad!simon whose camera roll slowly fills up with pictures of Kebab Meat and Cat cuddling up together on his sofa.

catdad!simon who realises pretty quickly that Kebab Meat has Cat wrapped around his little paw as she'll open doors and cabinets for him if he sounds pitiful enough.

catdad!simon who ends up falling asleep on the sofa most evenings with Kebab Meat on his stomach and Cat curled up on his chest.

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

Can you do more of the ghouls taking care of cat mc??

The Salem to their Sabrina

Obscuary taking care of a turned cat! MC

Wc:800

Edward

Immediately recognizes you, after he pats his lap for you to jump into and his cold hand rakes your fur while musing and divagating about similar curses and how it would be a shame to break it so soon now that your form turned so cute.

The epitome of an iPad kid now, he is hurdled under a blanket on his loveseat and a cat on his chest.

“If I were to let you out, would you hunt down a love dove for me? I heard that the government uses pigeons as spies and wonder if darkwick does so… why are you leaving without answering?”

Not one to play with you even if you insist, his old bones are too brittle and energy too low for that but he is sure that Lyca would like to play with you.

If you want someone to bring you to help he isn't ideal, he can't really hold you and his parasol at the same time. But you can wait with him until Luca and Kaito notice your absence and start looking for you or Rui starts asking where he found a cat willing to cuddle with him.

Almost wants to keep you a cat, it might be easier that way to care for you after anomalies take over but he reckons you might not appreciate your new body so, with a heavy sigh, he hands you to Lyca who is ordered by Rui to get you to mortenkraken or Nicolas, whoever is closer.

Rui

A cat ambushes him and almost makes him kick them on his way to Obscuary, quickly he figures it isn't any of the staff cats, they meow at him loudly to get his attention, or another cat anomaly, as they would hide from ghouls. It isn't until you tug at his pants to a plot of dirt and paw your name that he recognizes you.

Rolling his jacket around your body and holding you far from his body, he walks to the infirmary or directly to mortenkraken, whichever he guesses is less crowded. After getting told that it would disappear with time he is relieved.

He lets you hang out around his bar, even if he is scared of touching you accidentally, he thinks it's a good way to promote his business. Haru drops by as soon as night falls and is all over you even before getting drunk and being cuddlier, Romeo is just happy that he isn't the target for his hugs.

He is disappointed that when Nicolas came to his bar and rather than drinking it was just to perform a check up because he wasn't available when he took you. He managed to make him drink a watered down shochu before leaving. (is that how it's translated?)

He really wants to prepare you a cocktail but nobody really tested if cats could eat the anomalous infusions so the most he can do is mix catnip tea and cat milk so enjoy your cat-safe milk tea?

No matter at what hour you might get zoomies he is up to play -he can't really sleep but playing with a cute cat is good enough!- he grabs a stick with a string and feathers and waves it around for you to hunt.

He was kinda sad when you returned to normal, he really liked monopolizing you for a few days after having to share time with the other houses, but he will never say it out loud.

Lyca

Surprised at seeing a cat over at Obscuary, given how none of the staff cats go over but after a good sniff he figures it's you, your smell even if one of a cat’s there is a lingering flowery scent under all that fur.

Bring you by the scruff to Rui because he is the one he seeks out when in doubt. His ears almost pop off his head when he yells at him to let you go and he will hurt you.

This is actually a learning experience for him, most of the cats around campus seen skittish around him or outright evade him. He sits down on his blanket in his room with you next to him and a picture book open on the floor. He grabs your paw or tail and repeats the word until he somewhat remembers it.

He heard cats thrive when they eat meat so he tries harder to hunt you a dove, something small to eat for the small cat. Rui explains to him that even if you are a cat you still have your conscience and wouldn't eat raw meat.

“Here, drink, this said cats like milk” “Lyca no! Adult cats can't drink cow milk”

If he has to go to class with you on his shoulder he will wonder why the others can't recognize you, your scent is so different to normal cat's!

[fcthots]

I saw the 🧸 ask where Jason had to add cat ears to his red hood helmet bc he lost a bet, and PLEASE tell me you imagined him having to actually patrol that night like that too. Bc it’s so perfect.

Every vigilante that sees him is howling so goddamn loud that being stealthy that night is shot through. The mental image of him is enough to have em giggling, but esp Dick, Tim, and Steph are ROLLING on the ground and everything (those assholes). Jason can’t even defend himself bc at the end of the day he’s whipped enough to be walking around like this, the bet isn’t a good enough excuse now. Dick takes so many pictures. Hood goes viral for the next week and a half. Gothamites make fucking babygirl edits of cat hood and this shit haunts Jason for the rest of his life. Months and months later someone gives him one of those catnip treats for Christmas and nobody fesses up to it, but since Dick wakes up with a brand new hair color and cut (the drunk but not actually drunk Todd signature), safe to say Jaylad figured it out by the time the day ended 😭

(May I be🧋? This blog is fun and I wanna interact w u more 👉��👈🏾)

AHHAHAHAHAH I LOVE THIS. also ofc!!

I did envision him wearing the cat ears to patrol lol. There are several edited photos of the Red Hood in a maid outfit that all sprung from this event. The edits go viral and they further convince everyone outside of Gotham that the bats are not real. An ex-robin murderous crime lord anti-hero now turned vigilante that wore cat ears?? Yeah no way that’s real, Gotham is just Goncharov-ing up a fever dream. Even people who live in Gotham are like …Scarecrow must have done a mass attack that we just missed?? More plausible than the guy who tried to kill Batman and cleaned the streets in blood just randomly wearing cat ears one day. Also he started trying to murder the bats again with the cat ears on? No way.

[lovebirdgames]

MERRY (early) CHRISTMAS! This year I participated in indie VN dev Secret Santa. My giftee was Rice!! I checked out all their awesome free games on Itch and my favorite one was Wake Me Up If You Need Me because I love a cute lil romance. <3 In it you play as a psychopath who calls up this poor guy at 2am every night—nah it’s actually very sweet, I just felt bad keeping the poor boy awake!

Anyways I’m not the best artist, but wanted to draw a little something to go with what I wrote (see below the cut). Since MC doesn’t have an appearance, I got to be a little creative. Enjoy and be sure to check out Rice's games! @rice373, I hope you like it and have a wonderful holiday season!! <3

“Merry Christmas, Karu! Of course I wouldn’t forget you!” I happily dangle the catnip mouse a couple inches over the fluffy white cat’s head. His tail flicks with excitement and his pupils grow huge. I laugh as he expertly snatches it away with one swipe of his paw. “He likes it!”

“He really likes it,” Reed agrees as Karu flops over and begins bunny-kicking the poor mouse.

“Okay! My turn to open another present! Please don’t let this one be another calculus book…” I cast some side-eye on the Calculus for Dummies book I tossed onto my pile. “You’re not allowed to make me do math on Christmas, Reed!”

Reed rolls his eyes and rubs at the forever-present dark circles under them. “Trust me, that book will be the gift that keeps on giving. For both of us.” 

“Yeah, okay,” I snort as I tear the candy cane-colored wrapping paper off my next present, harboring zero intention of cracking that book open. 

“And with my phone being broken, you need something to fall back on.”

I nod along, keeping a smooth expression. Calling him in the middle of the night is much more fun than being forced to read a calculus book. Hearing his voice and giving him a hard time is like a little reward for my suffering. 

The sight of my next gift makes me gasp. “An owl onesie?!”

“For my favorite night owl,” Reed chuckles, pink tinging his cheeks. 

I immediately put it on. “It’s so comfy cozy! I’m never gonna take it off!”

“That might earn you several strange looks when you go to class.”

“Okay, I can’t take the suspense anymore…time for you to open your present!” I pull a neatly-wrapped gift from the pile and offer it with both hands. He smiles and goes to accept, but I suddenly feel self-conscious. “I’m sorry I only got you the one present! I used up all my savings. And I know you said not to go too crazy, but I couldn’t stop myself…”

Instead of recklessly tearing through to the present as I do, Reed carefully unsticks each piece of tape and gently unwraps the paper, as if to preserve it. When he sees the gift I got him, his jaw drops.

“I…you…you got me a phone?!”

“Do you like it?”

“This is too much! The new models are so expensive!”

I giggle at his beaming face. “It’s a present to me, too, so I can go back to calling you every night!”

“You really shouldn’t have.” He tries to inject some sarcasm into his voice, but he’s far too overjoyed to pull it off. In awe, he opens up the new phone to marvel at it. “Wow. My old phone was…”

“Ancient.”

“Yeah. This is amazing! Thank you so much.”

Reed wraps me in a hug. I sigh, enjoying his warmth. “Merry Christmas, Reed.”

“Merry Christmas. Your number will be the first one I add.”

I laugh, full of glee.

While Reed plays around with his new phone, I attempt to clean up the tornado of wrapping paper I created. Karu is having a blast hiding and shooting through it, easily distracting me. In the end, I wind up constructing a huge wrapping paper mountain for her to play in.

“Hmm…” Reed murmurs as he explores his new phone. “Since this phone is way newer than my old one, it should have a lot of new features and updates…”

“Yup!” I lean over his shoulder to see the screen and point stuff out. “The camera on this phone is sooo much better. Look, look, you can take a picture of Karu and turn her into a sticker!"

“There’s one cool feature I’ve been meaning to try…”

“Oh?”

I watch eagerly as he opens up the settings…clicks on a tiny purple moon icon…and turns on “Do Not Disturb” mode.

~The End

[askxisumachc]

Hello son.

Everything okay at camp? How does being part cat feel like?

(SEE POSEIDON I CARE BOUT PEOPLE)

Athena Parthenos, Goddess of Wisdom, Master of War, protecter of the city of Athens, Member of Olympus nr6

Hey mom. I'm stuck in the Big House, apparently Scott drugged me with catnip and I have no memory of the last 24 hours. @askhatokeralis sort of put me on bedrest for the time being since I'm too dizzy to walk. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without him.

I am getting used to the whole cat thing, although I'm addicted to ear scratches and head pats now, which is information I really hope the rest of camp doesn't find out.

I think I'll be feeling better by the time the prom rolls around, so I should still be able to attend. I promised you pictures, after all.

[thefanfictiontaria]

A feline dilemma

Fandom: Dreams Of An Insomniac

Genre: hurt/comfort/crack(?)

CW: dead animal

Characters: Winfrey, Clyde

The two monsters stumble upon an abandoned house full of cat-related items. One of them lead to a... situation.

AKA The fandom (pastracord) is addicted to cat Clyde headcanon.

================

The pair was just travelling, seeking refuge.

They arrived at an abandoned house just at the crack of dawn. It was a mess and a horrid odor was all around, but it could do.

Clyde gestured for their partner to wait while they searched around for some tools that might be useful or interesting trinkets to take back to their lair. They found a small golden statue of a tiger. They looked at the item, turning it around in its paws, before pocketing it. Shiny.

The search continued with a few completely useless things. The entire place was trashed, full of cat droppings and rotten cat food, along with a few scratching posts. There were some old-timey decorations on the walls, paintings and pictures, mainly black and white.

Clyde paid no attention to them though, as the search abruptly stopped. They were staring at a medium-sized bag, the contents surprisingly not rotten, but spilling onto the floor. It looked like crushed dried leaves, but the smell was stronger than anything they had ever came across.

Some primal part of his brain lit up and without any more thought, they leaped onto the bag, beginning to devour the contents. With every bite their mind seemed more and more hazy.

They passed out cold.

As Winfrey sat in the biggest room, he heard a small crack from underneath himself. He immediately got back up, almost banging their head on the ceiling in the process, and reached to the spot with his paw. What he was now holding was a corpse of a cat, its ribcage cracked. There were barely any maggots present, the body old.

Winfrey put the corpse down gently, and went to sit back down, wondering what will their partner bring this time.

Speaking of Clyde, where were they? Winfrey haven't even noticed the sound of footsteps and rubble being thrown around stop. They shook it off for a while, but after a solid few minutes it became concerning. He decided to look for his partner.

They carefully walked around, calling out Clyde's name, until they came across a horrifying sight.

There Clyde was, laying on the floor as if shot. Winfrey heard no loud sound, but humans were confusingly tricky. He leapt to cradle their partner in their paws.

"Clyde?! What happened?" Winfrey exclaimed, worry and panic prominent in their voice. The other was unresponsive. Breath shallow, he almost looked dead. The taller saw no blood, which eased him, but only a little.

He looked around for answers and saw an almost empty bag. It looked as if whatever was inside was devoured by... Clyde? But why?

Winfrey carefully put their partner down, grabbing the item. He studied it carefully. The remains of its contents spilled out, crushed dried leaves; their scent nauseating and almost addicting. He turned the bag around to see the label.

Catnip.

Winfrey wracked his brain, going through the different minds of people he devoured, searching for an answer. What is this? Poison?

Suddenly, a thought appeared. Catnip was a drug given to cats to encourage playtime and training and to ease them into new environments.

It didn't make sense, but Winfrey shrugged it off.

Winfrey picked Clyde up bridal style, carrying them onto the sofa in what seemed to be the living room. The smaller one was mumbling in their sleep, their body like a liquid with the way they moved.

Winfrey sat next to him on the floor, since they could barely fit into the room. He leaned on the sofa though, his head right next to Clyde's.

All of a sudden, Clyde moved. First he stirred, then he opened his eyes, pouted, and rolled off the couch. He swiftly moved and enveloped Winfrey in a tight hug, a nice surprise.

"Clyde? Are you alright?" The taller asked as Clyde rubbed his head against their shoulder blade.

"Mmmh yeah.... I loooveee youuu..."

"Do you even know what that means, dummy?" Winfrey giggled.

"Well.... No, but it's positive for humans, soooo I'm saying it to you!" The orange demon smiled at their partner, a wide yet a bit hazy grin.

"I love you too, then," the blue one returned the hug, the two now cuddling. It was comfortable, warm and safe.

"You're so... Warm and cozy... Winnyyyy...!" Clyde slurred, barely audible.

"You're definitely not in the right mind..." Winfrey laughed again. He patted their partner's head, right between the horns. That emitted a purr-like sound out of the other, something neither of them knew a Veldigun was able to do. It was a bit loud, but carried very positive connotations. Both of them reveled in each other's presence, still cuddling very close, Winfrey petting Clyde's head slowly.

With that, the two drifted to sleep as the sun rose outside. They were at peace.

[kay9leo]

#MCtober2024 - Week 3 Genderbent Potion & Animagus Form

Based on lamieboo's #MCtober2024 event (click on #MCtober for more info).

Animagus Form - Jaguar

Iñaki's animagus form is a Jaguar. She had some animagus training before moving to the UK before 5th year and she finished her training under Natty.

When Sebastian found out that Iñaki was an animagus jaguar, he had to know how she would react to cat nip. Iñaki was certain she wouldn't get high and so the two tested it out in the Undercroft. Spoilers - she does get high as a jaguar.

And needless to say, Ominis walks in on the two and Iñaki is basically acting like this cats and this one while in her jaguar form. Ominis freaks out as to why was there was a big cat in the Undercroft until Sebastian explained to Ominis that Iñaki is a jaguar animagus. Unfortunately both Ominis and Sebastian end up spending the rest of their evening of trying to encourage Iñaki to shift back to human but she's too high off of catnip to even understand what they're are saying, chuffing the entire time (Jaguars chuff instead of purring; for more info check this out -> What is a CHUFF?).

In the end, Sebastian found a spell to force her to shift back to her human form, the catnip high immediately wore off and Iñaki was confused as to what just happened lol.

At least that's my story behind why that red-lined jaguar looks like it's high lol. If you want to see a jaguar playing with catnip check these videos out: Black Jaguar w/Catnip , Jaguar React to Catnip! , Jaguar Rolls in Catnip!

In reality, I was learning how to sketch it as realistic as possible and well...I drew a high jaguar since I wasn't able to figure out how to color in the eyes lol. But I'm happy how both jaguars turned out; I've never drew a jaguar before now - I spent a while looking at references of pictures, did some practice sketches and Disney's Lion King lion drawings to get the paws down the way I like it 😁

Genderbent Iñaki 

So, I headcanon that Iñaki wasn't hit by a genderbent spell like the prompt has. Rather, she was an unfortunate victim of Garreth's experimental potions that exploded on her while working as his supply courier, leaving her temporary a guy for a few days (Garreth wanted to make the polyjuice potion last longer then the small amount of time it lets people change form...instead he ended up making a genderbent potion that Iñaki was a poor victim along with him when it exploded over the two of them.) As for the Ecuadorian comment...this is what Iñaki is referring to: worlddata.info. Honestly, that's all I could imagine her saying with that second drawing I did of male!Iñaki 🤣

On the bright side, Iñaki is happy that's she actually tall at 5' 8'' ft/ 172.72 cm as a guy instead of being short at 5' 3'' ft/ 160 cm as a girl.

Although to be fair, it doesn't help that she hangs around Sebastian (5' 10'' ft/ 177.8 cm), Ominis (5' 11'' ft/ 180.34 cm), Natty (5' 6'' ft/ 167.64 cm) and Imelda ( 5' 5'' ft/ 165.1 cm) who are all taller than her. The only person she's taller than is Poppy who's 5' 0'' ft/ 152.4 cm! Iñaki doesn't care that she's still shorter than Sebastian or Ominis as a guy - she's just happy she doesn't need to stretch/get a stool step/climb/ask someone taller to get something on a higher shelf! Short people problems - am I right? 🤣

(Note: these heights are what I headcanon for the characters.)

Once thing about Iñaki is that if Sebastian really does get under her skin, she WILL pronounce his name in Spanish with the accent on the a (instead of calling him Sallow when she's annoyed with him). Now if she calls him by his full government name AND it's pronounced in Spanish?😶

...It's a good thing that is a rare thing to happen. 🤣

As for what would her name be if she was a guy? Well it would still be Iñaki since it's actually a boy's name in Spanish (everyone thought she would be a boy and when she was born and it turned out Iñaki was a girl, the name stuck and plus, anything that end with an "i" sounds feminine in English like Nikki, Traci, Demi... etc.. so Anglo-speakers wouldn't see anything odd with Iñaki for a girl's name 🤣).

(You can bet your bottom dollar that Imelda will make fun of Iñaki of how her name finally matches her gender in the Spanish-speaking world while she's a guy 😂)

[dufrau]

Cat Christmas is a big hit

(Aggie is not pictured because she doesn't like excitement, but she's been rolling around with a new catnip toy in the other room)

[queerlycarter]

[begin image description: four photos of a tortoiseshell cat with a pink plaid collar, playing with a cat toy that looks like a small bundle of teal chunky yarn. in the first image, she is crouched next to a couch with the toy caught between her front paws. the second image is slightly blurry and shows the cat lying on the right side, partially curled around the toy. the toy is caught between her front paws and her head is blurry. she appears to be licking the toy. the third image is slightly blurry and shows the cat in the same position as the second image, this time holding the toy against her cheek. her head is almost completely upside down. the fourth image shows the cat in the same position, rolled slightly onto her back and holding the toy with both front paws against her chest. end image description]

got lux a new toy (so i could get free shipping with her meds from chewy) and she LOVES it (totally has nothing to do with the fact there's catnip in it)

it's a little bundle of fake chunky yarn, and the band that keeps it together is elastic so when she unravels it i can bundle it back up

i did open it out of curiosity to see how tightly it's bundled and to see if it's going to get strewn all over the house, and there's one piece of yarn tied so tight around the middle i genuinely can't tell if it's just tied or if it's sewn lol. it's gonna be a while before she unravels it

and she loves her other new toy too:

[begin video description. the same cat from the pictures is sitting in front of a round, dark green plastic toy with three levels and a ball trapped in each level. there is a plush bee dangling from a wire attached to the top of the toy. she gently touches the bee with her paw, then turns her head to the side and watches it. she crouches down to look at the lowest level of the toy. she begins to sniff at a leaf-shaped toy on the ground beside the plastic toy. the person behind the camera flicks one of the balls and makes it roll around the track quickly. the cat watches it and bats the ball with one paw twice, then remains still for a few seconds and watches the ball, which is now still. the person behind the camera flicks the ball again and the cat watches it, her head moving quickly with lizard-like movements. the person behind the camera reaches out and moves the bee on the wire, startling the cat. she stares at the bee for a couple seconds with her head tilted slightly, then looks at something off to the left and the video ends. end video description]

[dreaming-marchling]

Director's cut around anything in The Warlock's Cat? I absolutely adore the story.

The Warlock's Cat Tidbits :)

Also, hopefully cats weren’t deathly allergic to romaine lettuce, carrots and what tasted like balsamic vinaigrette. All Alec knew was that cats hunted mice, what their diets were like after that was a mystery. Nobody could actually be allergic to a carrot, right?

Just in case anyone out there is unclear, cats totally can't survive on a vegan diet, they have to have meat. So nice try with this salad, Alec, but this did absolutely nothing for you lol

---

He braced himself, flexed his claws but didn’t attack. He didn’t want to attack. Alec was just resting up, he’d get out of here as soon as he could but he had no way of communicating that so the cat probably…

It licked him.

Aside from the kindness from Chairman here, cats groom each other to bond but often the groomer is asserting dominance over the groomee. So in cat speak, Chairman is also saying "this is my house but I like you" while he grooms Alec. Further enforcing Magnus' thought later that Chairman and Alec are friends and that Chairman is the alpha in the friendship lol (and that they're both aware and okay with that)

---

To his great surprise, she turned to him and nodded her head as well, “I am the Sirin. It is a pleasure to meet you as well.”

The initial outline didn't have the Sirin. I just wanted some various Downworlders to show Alec how similar their people were and that Magnus was nothing like what Maryse had said. I decided it'd be fun to have a non-humanoid being come to Magnus so I started researching. When I discovered the Sirin from Russian folklore I fell in love and had to include her.

This is a picture of her and her counterpart Alkonost (the Sirin is on the left)

[By Viktor Vasnetsov, Birds of Joy and Sorrow (1896)]

This is my favorite artwork of them but there are many other great ones (plus plenty that stick a pair of featherless tits in the center of their bird chests, if that does anything for you lol).

---

The spell carried Alec all the way to his bed in Magnus’ bedroom where there was some green stuff – oregano? – scattered around. Alec didn’t stick around to figure it out, he just rushed back out to the living room but Magnus was gone.

I've said before that I was heartily tempted to include an "Alec on catnip" scene but didn't because the technically un-aware and un-consenting drug use on Alec's part would change the overall lighthearted tone of the story too much but please know that after the story eventually Magnus manages to convince Alec to give the catnip a try and he gets some potent zoomies and really enjoys himself rolling around on the floor over and over again lol. He likes it better than alcohol.

---

Once more, the conga line departed the loft via portal.

Listen, if I was rich and could pay the cast to act out scenes from my stories, I'd obviously totally pick the really major romantic moments or big revelation moments or hurt/comfort moments, like I've got a list I could choose from happily. This one though... I would be genuinely tempted even though it's not major in any way. It's so dumb at a certain point, like it forever cracks me up. I was cackling writing this. I don't really do funny confidently but like, I was genuinely laughing at how ridiculous this had gotten.

---

Under no circumstance was he telling them about the litter box situation. If they loved him they wouldn’t even ask.

This occurred to Izzy and Jace both but they do love him so they didn't ask.

---

He was small. He was furry.

He was a cat.

Again.

Shit.

Originally the story was meant to end with Alec going to talk to Magnus and them realizing they're in wuv and kissing. I was having too much fun though so I added the whole cat shifter thing.

---

“The next person who finds you and thinks you’re a stray might be a more modern and responsible cat owner.” Cat said, glancing at Magnus before she turned and smirked at Alec, “I was encouraging Magnus to neuter you. Sorry about that.”

After the story ends, Magnus casts a few spells on Alec to ensure that any catting doesn't get him in a bad situation like a tracking spell and, discretely and importantly, a notice-me-not spell on his balls. I didn't know how to weave that in but like, it's important lmao.

---

“Sorry if this is rude but is your cat a cat?” Alec asked in one rush.

I added this shortly before posting because readers had been commenting about Chairman's perceptiveness. Give me a hint of an excuse to talk about Chairman Meow the familiar or the old forest god or literally all the many headcanons and thoughts I have about this cat, seriously. Any excuse.

---

Then came something glowing red. Alec picked it up gingerly and was surprised to read Kīlauea Lava from January 22, 1884 Eruption.

This is a real eruption of a real volcano. I researched this. Why? Are any of you vulcanologists? I don't know why I was so intent on accuracy here but good opportunity to tell people now: this is a real volcano eruption.

---

Magnus laughed, “Shall you tell your mother or would you like the High Warlock to do so?”

Maryse listens to the explanation of this and literally stares at them silently for like a full minute before turning and walking away. It's like long after Valentine that Maryse again acknowledges that her son is a cat shifter.

Thank you for asking!!

[asmo-idola]

Cats of the Re8 people!

Lady D: Lady D would 100% have fancy white fluffy cat that gets super spoiled. Her daughters would either love her or be annoyed because black clothes + big fluffy white kitty = uh oh.

Donna: I could see donna with just pretty shiny black kitty that she found wiggling outside or something that loves rolling around in flowers. Angie and other doll stuff would probably scare the hell out of it at first. Donna would have to grow catnip.

Moreau: WATER CAT WATER CAT! Fish man would have water cat that likes swimming for fish and just likes the water. Would probably be kinda old and have some scars and stuff from being more of a free outdoor hunt-y cat. Watch tv and takes naps together.

Heisenberg: I could imagine a little cat making its way into Heisenberg's factory and getting stuck or hurt and then him finding it like hello little guy you are now mine mhmhm. Would definitely vent to the cat about stuff. Maybe has 3 legs or something and a robot leg. Or just cyborg kitty! Many ideas I the like idea of him having a cat and at first being like -_- and then being like "Hi kitty I love you!". Treats it like a baby.

Mother Miranda: I think hairless cat would fit her for some reason. They look fancy and fur wouldn't be everywhere. If the lords are busy or something shed probably have to catsit and hate it mainly because lady Ds cat and Heisenberg's cat would try to eat each other. Also fur.

(I found all of these pictures on Pinterest btw)

[youknow-igetit]

during the height of the minyard-josten rivalry, a tiktok account is made titled “andrewminyardshusband”

At first it’s believed to be a stan account or something similar, since all they do is post clips from his games and interviews, half the time zoomed in on his arms with a ridiculous commentary dubbed over it

No one knows who makes the videos, mainly because they always use voice filters

But then the account starts posting videos of andrew?? Like at home?? And they’re not like reposted Instagram stories, it really seems that this person is living with andrew

(these videos coincidentally start posting around the same time that neil josten joins andrews team)

Even weirder, they actually seem to be andrews husband, which astounds literally everyone because how did no one know about this???

The account blows up, obviously. Like, millions of followers, gets verified, the whole shebang

And it isn’t always Andrew, half the time it’s videos of their cats doing cat things (he tried out the tinfoil thing to get them to stop jumping on the counters and eating his sandwiches, king got so scared by it that she hid on top of the fridge for an hour. Meanwhile, sir didn’t give a single fuck and layed down directly on the tinfoil)

The account’s most viewed video is of a slow zoom of andrews biceps with the careless whisper intro played over it

He starts answering questions in the comments while pointing the camera at andrew

“‘How did we get our cats?’ we found them in a dumpster. As far as we can tell they were raised together and fell in love. I’m 99% sure they’re lesbians”

“’why does andrew wear armbands?’ because his forearms are too powerful to be viewed by the general public” *the video is a slow zoom up to andrew’s glare*

“‘are you and andrew actually married?’ yes. fuck you.” (andrew flips off the camera with his left hand) “wrong finger, dumbass”

“‘how did you two get together?’ he threatened to kill me and I thought that was hot"

“’can you two kiss?’ like, physically? yeah. right now though? i dunno, i’m comfortable sitting on this table and andrew is all the way over on the couch”

“’whats your opinion on neil josten and the whole rivalry he has with Andrew, especially after he joined his team?’ I really don’t give a single fuck and neither does andrew”

“Have you met neil josten?” is one of the questions he gets asked and no one knows why he’s laughing so hard or why andrew rolls his eyes when he answers with “yeah he’s pretty cool”

Sometimes the other foxes make appearances in the videos, like Renee baking in their kitchen while Andrew is filching cookie dough or Nicky, Aaron, and Andrew all sitting on the floor and feeding the cats catnip.

the speculation on who andrew minyard’s husband is is astronomical. it grows beyond the exy sphere and practically every comment is “who is this guy??”

People keep asking but all he answers with is “I’m andrews husband, can y'all read?”

People ask the other foxes (who don’t say shit cause why would they), comb through their social medias to see if he’s in any pictures or videos

It is then believed that andrews husband has to be one of the foxes from Andrew’s sophomore year, and due to half of them being related to him, one being married, and one being neil josten, it is then believed that andrews husband is Kevin

At least it is until the account posts a video of kevin being asked “thoughts on being andrews husband?” “like of you being his husband?” “no, you being his husband.” “what?? Ew, no, gross” “I cant tell if that’s more insulting to Andrew or to me”

So everyone is back to square one

Until

Until

there’s a new video on the account

And it’s of andrew on the couch reading a book and he gets asked “what’s it like having me as your husband?” but!!! There’s no voice filter?? And it sounds vaguely familiar, like they’ve heard it before?? And he wasn’t even answering a commenter question. and then Andrew grabs the phone and turns it to show neil josten, neil josten!!! sitting on the other side of the couch in a bright orange sweatshirt and a smirk while Andrew says “fucking infuriating”

Needless to say, all four million followers implode upon seeing it

[taleasnewastime]

hey!! congrats on the job!! woooo!

as for the drabble game...how about 38 & 42 with Yoongi?? thank you! congrats again!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Had my first meeting about it today and ngl a tad stressed. But thanks for the congrats and for the request!! I hope you like it :)

38. "Choose me." & 42. "I came to say goodbye." | Yoongi | Word count: 1337

.

Yoongi is dressed nice, far too nicely for a Friday night when he is usually just in sweats. Even his hair is styled, pushed back off his forehead, not greasy or messy, suggesting he’s recently showered. He looks good, way too good, and something funny bubbles in your tummy as you watch him jitter around the room.

He’s not paying you any attention, shuffling around in the search of something you feel like you should help him find. But you don’t offer your help, just sit and watch him fumble around. He looks cute, all dressed up, muttering to himself while he looks through some draws. You wait a minute or two before you finally give in, and just as you open your mouth to ask what he’s looking for, his phone lights up on the table in front of you.

“Why has a picture of a fat cat just popped up on your phone?”

His head whips in your direction at the question, the first time he’s paid you any attention.

“What?”

“Your phone,” you start to clarify, leaning forward so you can pick up his phone and get a better look at the picture that’s now disappeared. “There was a contact photo -”

Before your hand can even get close to the phone, it’s snatched from beneath you. The sight cutting off your words.

“It’s my dating picture,” he says it casually, as if should explain everything, but it only causes you to have more questions.

“I’m sorry, what?”

His attention is now on his phone, unlocking it to read the message that’s just come through. You have to lean back in your seat to get a good look at him stood above you. The smile that blossoms on his face as he looks at his phone only makes the strange bubbles in you to intensify.

“The cat. It’s my profile picture on my dating profile,” he says, eyes still on the phone.

“Firstly, your profile picture is a cat not yourself? Secondly, you have a dating profile? Thirdly, your profile picture is a cat?” The words are light and teasing, but Yoongi still rolls his eyes at you as he puts his phone in his pocket and starts to walk away.

“You can’t ignore me on this, I need to know everything,” your voice raises in volume as he continues to walk away.

“I need to find my house key,” is all he says in reply.

“Just tell me this; is your date in a park? Will you be eating chunks of chicken in gravy out of bowls with no cutlery? Are you taking her catnip instead of flowers?”

Before Yoongi disappears around the corner he throws a crude gesture over his shoulder that has you laughing.

But as he disappears and even as the laugh continues to come out of you, you feel that slightly hollow pit inside you grow. You didn’t know he was dating, he hadn’t told you prior to tonight, and the fact makes that gaping hole in you feel that little bit bigger.

You’ve been a chicken around him, known you’ve liked him more than just a friend, more than just a house mate, for a while now, but have just been too scared and worried to do anything about it. Yoongi isn’t good with emotions, doesn’t easily let on to how he’s feeling. But dating? That feels like a massive step in the direction you didn’t want.

“Found them,” he steps back into the room, jingled said keys.

“Does the girl you’re going on a date with also have a profile picture of a cat?” You joke, because trying to make light of the situation makes it feel a lot better than taking it seriously.

He sighs, but still steps closer to you, enough so that he looms over where you’re sat on the sofa.

“It’s like the opposite of Tinder. It’s supposed to be a blind date, you don’t know what the person looks like, just get matched based on personalities and that’s how you get to know each other before you decide to meet,” he explains.

“It sounds awful.”

“It’s supposed to work better than other apps because you get to know the person, don’t judge them on their looks first.”

“So she’s not going to be disappointed when you turn up and aren’t a massive fat ginger cat?” You tease.

“I came to say goodbye, not to be ridiculed and made to feel more nervous than I currently do.”

“Sorry. It’s just… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you go on a date before.”

He shrugs, suddenly avoiding your eye contact.

“It’s good,” you try and fail to sound enthusiastic. “You should date.”

“I sense a but,” he says flatly.

“But,” you pause wondering how best to say this. “You shouldn’t go on a date if you don’t want to.”

“I never said I didn’t want to go.”

“You implied you want someone to like you for you, not for your looks.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to go.”

“Ok,” you refrain from rolling your eyes, taking a deep breath before you carry on. “You just don’t seem excited is all.”

“I’m excited. Just because I’m not dancing around the room and shouting about it like you normally do doesn’t mean I’m not excited.”

“Fine. Go. Have a nice time.” You snap the words at him, unsure how your conversation has escalated to feel so hostile.

But while you snap and remain stiff, eyes going to the TV that’s turned off, Yoongi sighs and sits down next to you.

“Hey,” his voice is soft, the complete opposite to a few seconds ago.

“You should go if you don’t want to be late,” you continue to be snappy.

“I’ve got time,” he says simply.

But you continue to ignore him, continue to keep your body angled away from him, continue to keep your eyes trained on the black TV screen as if it’s playing a fascinating show you don’t want to miss a second of.

“Y/N,” Yoongi tries again, and though you know he’s a patient man, he won’t wait here trying to work out what’s wrong forever. And maybe you’re stupid or just stubborn, but you still don’t turn to him. “Why don’t you want me to go?”

“I never said I don’t want you to go.”

“You didn’t need to say it, I know you, you don’t want me to go. Why?”

Your leg starts to bob up and down on the floor. He’d called you out. He’d so easily seen through everything you’d just said and though the thought makes you warm, it also makes you feel so seen.

A large hand comes to rest on your leg, stopping its movements.

“You can tell me,” he says in the same soft tone and you swear you hear hope in the tone.

“Ok, I don’t want you to go,” you start, unable to meet his eyes as you are about to admit your feelings. “I want you to stay here and watch crappy TV with me and complain about how bad it is and order takeaway and stay up way later than we should. I want you to sit a little too close to me so when I get tired, I can rest my head on your shoulder and you can put your arm round me and I can fall asleep like that. I want to wake up in the morning and know that you were asleep next door to me, alone, not with some girl you’ve met online that has a picture as horrifying as that cat.”

“I guess what I’m saying is,” you pause, finally looking at him, his pupils blown out, mouth popped open, you can see he’s worked it out, and still, you say it. “Choose me.”

He doesn’t do anything for a second, just looks at you with that shocked expression and you’re pretty sure you’ve blown it until he leans forward and presses his lips against yours.

[gardenerian]

Mickey and Ian

mickey's like "you should share" and then just moves on in there so he can have some. what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine, etc.

i have a picture of my cat after he ripped open a bag of catnip and rolled around in a huge pile of it - that's mickey when he gets ahold of whatever ian has asdjkfh

[mysmegrace]

Thank you for the masterlist link!

Could I also request MC buying a catnip plant by accident (thinking it a normal house plant) and Jumins reaction to Ellie acting weird? I think it could be so funny to have a drunk Jumin and high Ellie in the same room together.

no problem! and holy shit that is hilarious. your wish is my command. for those who are confused, a catnip plant makes cats go crazy for 10-15mins, almost like they're high.

Jumin with an MC Who Accidently Buys a Catnip Plant

---

to say he was astonished was an understatement.

you were out of the house in a business meeting to further her new company.

one jumin fully supported you in, giving you his blessing to go to the meeting.

despite the fact that he would be left in the giant home without you.

however, you hadn't forgot to get elizabeth's house plant before leaving.

you had a slight inkling going around in your mind, yet you couldn't pick out what it was exactly about.

hence why you left without giving it excessive thought.

while you were out, jumin was given plenty of time to do what he desired.

yet there wasn't much he desired when you weren't around.

nevertheless, he knew you would let him have it if you found out he stayed at home doing nothing but feeling upset that you weren't beside him.

so he decided to make the most of it. and how would he do that?

dedicating the newfound time to elizabeth the third.

it wouldn't hurt to add a few more pictures of her beauty to his camera roll.

with not much do to at the moment, he figures he'd give elizabeth the new house plant.

that way, he could grab a few glasses of wine as he watched her in a happy state.

so once he placed the plant down, he left to pour some wine to make the time pass.

yet once he returned, elizabeth was not acting as she usual does.

she was rubbing her fur all around the plant.

but she looked happy, perhaps she was just so excited and couldn't control it.

with those assumptions in mind, he started sipping from his wine glass.

something was off as the taste shocked him.

had he grabbed the wrong wine?

that wasn't usual behaviour from him, but because he was in the privacy of his own home and the taste wasn't terrible.

he couldn't bother going to check what the mistake was.

after a few minutes, things started becoming hazy.

in jumin's right mind, he would stop drinking and look at what was causing the issue.

but it was as if the alcohol was taking over him.

however, he wasn't the only one who was under the influence.

elizabeth was going absolutely crazy at this point.

she was kicking, rubbing, licking, and eating the plant.

the drool and meows that her mouth let out weren't going unnoticed either.

but upon this observation, jumin's rational mind wasn't kicking in.

his drunk mind was.

maybe elizabeth was only acting strange because she was playing alone, he thought.

which prompted his new actions of getting on the floor, proceeding to roll and rub his face on the plant alongside elizabeth.

going on for minutes, neither of them were thinking straight.

they were completely out of it.

so out of it, that you walking in the door didn't catch his attention in the slightest.

you on the other hand, were mortified at the sight you came across.

your husband and cat were on the floor doing all kinds of activities over the plant you had bought earlier for elizabeth.

"what are you doing?" you asked, in a nearly screaming manner.

he looked up at you with confusion written all over his face.

"i was playing with elizabeth the third, she is in need of a partner to play with" he responded, ever so calmly that it was slightly concerning.

you stood frozen, not possibly believing that your husband was being serious.

hence why you asked "are you serious?".

"why would i not be?" he responded.

after taking a second to think, you notice elizabeth had calmed down.

what in the hell was going on, you wondered.

looking closely at your husband, you noticed how his facial expressions resembled those of a drunk man.

"are you drunk?" you asked in disbelief.

jumin took a second, you weren't even sure if he was breathing.

"i don't know" he answered.

and there was your confirmation.

"what did you drink?" you wondered.

"ummm" you heard him say before continuing with "i don't know".

he couldn't be serious, you thought.

this was nothing like your husband.

you took the drink from his hands, giving it a smell.

a strong whiff of vodka filled your nose.

"why are you drinking a wine glass full of vodka?" you asked, on the verge of insanity.

"oh it's vodka, that's why it didn't taste right" he answered emotionless.

oh my god, you were stunned.

"okay, take a rest jumin" you told him, as you now decide to investigate elizabeth's previous actions.

going to check the package you had thrown out of the house plant, you had realized your mistake.

you bought a catnip plant instead of a house plant.

you felt ashamed, yet you couldn't help yourself from laughing.

thankfully, those effects would've only had lasted for 10-15 minutes.

things were making sense now as you put the pieces together.

oh how you would let jumin have it tomomrrow.

but would also laugh at him, unless he became ill.

of course you would care for him, but that wouldn't make him immune to your words the next day.

on second thought, were you even sure you weren't dreaming?

---

17:14 AST - 07/28/21