#royal poop

[misfithive]

Random things i would love s3

(and a few i know will not happen but idc)

wille in the purple hoodie

wille telling simon he is beautiful (sober)

wilmon dancing together

wilmon walking holding hands

simon telling Wille he missed him (or giving the sweater back)

simon singing the song to wille again

“wilmon” ship name being used by news/social media comments etc (i have seen it in a few fics and i Need it)

simon giving Wille a new frog like a frog stuffed animal with no crown

wilmon defending eachother

wilmon takes a nap together

Simon actually eating the sandwich

lake date

them laughing with eachother again (would be free therapy for me i’m serious)

Linda hugs Wille

forehead kiss!

simon calms wille’s panic attack (by singing softly to him hehe)

reciprocal i love you (multiple times, casually, before ep 6 pls)

Wilhelm comforting/ reassuring Simon

Wille gets a hobby or shares something he likes/ unexpected opinion with Simon hehe @k-pepp

simon actually sings Revolution like acapella or just like hums it to himself ( CAN U IMAGINE???? 😭 sorry i’m being unhinged i cant help it)

wille decorates his room more or has a framed picture of him and simon

they add more pictures to Wille’s “simon” album on his phone :((

Wille peels a tangerine for Simon or they share a tangerine together

wille sees that Simon has posted a photo of them on instagram and is happy looking at his phone

them skipping class to stay in bed or just hang out together

wilmon polaroid ????? 😭☹️ (why does sargust get one and not wilmon??)

wilmon roomates

[ruthlesslistener]

enhance

snoot

[okonomi6]

Asschi boy doodle

[beholdmysnakes]

Gideon update!

[dartumbles]

This Thursday

I’m doing my best to be my usual positive self despite the mully grubs of reality. Snow. Lots. Just not all at once. It gets to this level, melts and reflakes. We’ve got a couple more hours then it will be windy. Meanwhile, my therapy of knitting keeps my hands moving while I process life, pets, and loved ones no longer with us. My son and his girlfriend are traveling up. Snow or no snow.…

[mindblowingscience]

The tiny Caribbean island of Dominica is creating the world's first marine protected area for one of earth's largest animals: the endangered sperm whale. Nearly 300 square miles (800 square kilometers) of royal blue waters on the western side of the island nation that serve as key nursing and feeding grounds will be designated as a reserve, the government announced Monday. "We want to ensure these majestic and highly intelligent animals are safe from harm and continue keeping our waters and our climate healthy," Dominica Prime Minister Roosevelt Skerrit said in a statement. Scientists say the reserve not only will protect the animals, but it will also help fight climate change. Sperm whales defecate near the surface because they shut down non-vital functions when they dive to depths of up to 10,000 feet (3,000 meters). As a result, nutrient-rich poop remains along the ocean surface and creates plankton blooms, which capture carbon dioxide in the atmosphere and drag it to the ocean floor when they die. And sperm whales in Dominica are believed to defecate more than whales elsewhere, said Shane Gero, a whale biologist and founder of the Dominica Sperm Whale Project, a research program focused on sperm whales in the eastern Caribbean.

Continue Reading.

[budbuddnbuddy]

Little obey me headcanons (pt4)

(Pt5)

A/N: This probably like the second longest series of writing I’ve done fanfic wise. Lol anyway same stuff is here. Headcaons and world building, maybe once I get everything done with the masterlist I’ll show you guys my MC’s (yes I have 2 MC’s in the same verse) but I’m still not sure. Let me know what y’all think. Happy new year!!!

Everyone is super nosy about your life in the human world, some are more obvious and pushy then others but regardless they still want to know about every detail of your life, what kind of job do you have? What’s your family like? Do you live in acountryside or in City? Where’s your workplace? What’s your address? What’s your full legal name? What’s your blood type? Do you own any pets! Tell them all about it.

The Devildom and the Celestial realm have small populations. Devildom:50 million+ Celestial realm:45 million+ mainly because lots of people would rather not have kids because it would probably get in the way of what they were doing in their lives currently however it’s not uncommon to see families out and about. Nobles are the main ones who have families in the devildom.

Do you think that like a week after Diavolo was born his father did that lion king thing that Royal family does whenever they have another kid? Just basically raising him up for everyone to see? 💀

As I’ve said before Mammon has a great ass, you can’t help but grab it anytime you can, just coming up behind him and grabbing his cheek. It mainly happens in your room, both of y’all are laying in your bed with him on top of you resting his head on your chest and you’ll just unconsciously reach down and give it a squeeze. He used to loudly whine about it but he secretly loves it lmao.

When it comes to relationships and Virginity, I feel like I have a pretty decent grasp on who’s had what and who hasn’t.

Relationship+Experience: Lucifer Mammon Asmodeus Barbatos Solomon

Relationship+Virgin: Beelzebub Satan

No Relationship+ Experience: Belphegor only like twice though cuz I fucking hate him [affectionate]

Neither: Leviathan, Diavolo

Diavolo kin’s Pops from regular show unironically.

If you ever heard about the Mariko Aoki phenomenon good but if not it’s basically the need to take a crap in bookstores however if you leave before you do then the feeling goes away. Whenever you go into Satan’s room you automatically get the urge to take a shit, you haven’t told him about it the confused look on his face is too funny. 💀

Speaking of Poop. If any of the brothers can’t get into the bathrooms available on their floor/rooms they’ll come down to your room and ask if they can use your bathroom which you used to be fine with AT FIRST however you eventually banned them from coming into your bathroom because Beel took a massive shit in your toilet and it stunk up your bathroom for DAYS and Lemme tell ya, handling demon shits from GROWN ASS MEN are not for the weak.

“Phew…Thanks for letting me use your bathroom, MC.”

“No problem Beel I-“ *Turns into fucking dust*

Okay that’s not what happened but you did pass out. Beelzebub did say sorry and bought you a cupcake as compensation so I guess it’s okay for now, still not allowed to use your bathroom though.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

What if S/O wants skeleton to do something with them, skeleton says no and then S/O just says all dramatically like

" then you leave me no choice. you did this to yourself.."

Then proceeds to attach themselves to their leg and won't let go and will only loud repeat the word "PLEASE!" Until the skeleton agrees to their demands lol

Can it be the main 10 plz

Undertale Sans - Fine. You leave him no other choice. He spreads his arms like an eagle and lets himself fall backward. He crashes on your back in a broken Lego sound. Now what? You're both on the ground. What did you learn from this?

Undertale Papyrus - So that's what Undyne felt that day he attached to her leg to beg her to let her inside the Royal Guard. Damn. He's having an existential crisis right now. Anyway, it's still no. He uses your head as a lever to get his leg back then he sprints and jumps by the window so you don't go after him.

Underswap Sans - He's pulling on his leg with despair. He's too small and light to drag you. He's completely stuck. Desperate, he tries using the sad guilty eyes to force you to let you go but you know that trick too well now. Urgh. FINE. He'll do it, you beat him.

Underswap Papyrus - He tries to free himself but he's too clumsy and only succeeds in face-planting into the ground. He stays there, the face buried into the floor. He can't do what you want for him if he's dead. He's dead. He's more patient than you anyway so you will get bored before he is.

Underfell Sans - He slowly kneels in front of you and gently takes your chin in his hand, like he's going to kiss you. He then brings his big head close and whispers a lovely "go to hell." before taking advantage of your visible confusion to trash his leg until you let go and sprint into his room, closing the door in your face and locking it. AH! What you're going to do now, uh?

Underfell Papyrus - He ignores you and keeps walking, dragging you across the floor. That's two hours now. You're in the middle of the street, everyone is looking at you, but you are both too stubborn to give up. That's going to be a long day.

Horrortale Sans - He picks you up like a potato bag and throws you above his shoulder so you can't stop him from walking. You struggle angrily but you underestimate Oak's stubbornness. You're not getting down before a few hours. He's going to carry you around like this whether you want it or not. You played, you lost. Deal with it.

Horrortale Papyrus - He sighs loudly and rolls his eyes at your behavior. That's not fair. He can't bend over to unattach you. You're cheating. But that's fine. He starts to walk with you tied to his ankle and he's walking with determination towards the cow enclosure, full of poop on the floor. We'll see who's going to win this game.

Swapfell Sans - He hisses and trashes around to make you let go. Since you're not letting go, he bites your arm with his very sharp teeth, forcing you to let go. What? You did that to yourself, you said it. Now go whine and leave him to enjoy his coffee in peace.

Swapfell Papyrus - Oh, the game is on. He drags you to the bathroom and locks the door. He then switches on the shower with cold water and he waits. He can't feel the temperature. You on the other hand… He's patient. You'll give up before him.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He's judging you so hard right now. He's staring at you, clearly cringed out. But that's fine. He starts to walk, making sure your head meets his high heels every time. We'll see who's going to hold on longer.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - But noooooo. Coffee starts to whine, frustrated, and then he just flops on the floor. He's not moving, you're not moving. ... Does that mean you can cuddle with him now? You say no. Oh :( Well, too bad. He's staying there anyway.

[evilphrog]

Me convincing my Wheel of Time mutuals to read He Who Fights With Monsters: It's like if Mat Cauthon was the Dragon, and after every battle he was forced into court-ordered therapy to stop him from going crazy and destroying the world.

Me convincing my Discworld mutuals to read He Who Fights With Monsters: Half the book is ridiculous puns that hinge on obscure references you won't be able to understand without an encyclopedia, the other half is the most profound quotes you have ever read that imprint themselves onto your very soul. And three weeks later you will realize they are also puns.

Me convincing my Dirk Gently mutuals to read He Who Fights With Monsters: A bunch of losers and disasters learn to love themselves by loving each other, and discover that embracing their weirdness can save the world. Also, everything is connected.

Me convincing my Stargate mutuals to read He Who Fights With Monsters: Keep the adventure and the found family, but imagine that it isn't sponsored by the US military, so the characters are allowed to be gay and talk about their feelings like regular people.

Me convincing my MCU mutuals to read He Who Fights With Monsters: It's like if Age of Ultron never happened, and instead we got the Avengers Tower sitcom of our 2012 dreams.

Me convincing Tumblr at large to read He Who Fights With Monsters: The main characters are all wildly homoerotic and intensely shippable. There is canon representation from every part of the rainbow. Magic is structured in such a way that everyone is gorgeous, nobody poops, gay people can reproduce, furries are canon, and gender transition is virtually instantaneous. Imagine the fanfic potential!

If I have persuaded any of you, the first 13 chapters are free here:

The site has a fantastic interface, with font and formatting options. If you like what you read, you can get the amazingly narrated audiobooks on audible, the print copies on Amazon, or the e-reader on kindle. I highly recommend the audiobooks. The narrator brings a lot of depth to the characters, with the voices he uses and the level of emotion he puts in everything. I have never been able to pay attention to an audiobook before, but these ones are captivating.

[ruthlesslistener]

Dear god woman, you've expanded quite a bit

[okonomi6]

If there is time on our hands

[iznsfw]

IZ Days of Christmas 2023: Commissions Open!

Yes, that's right - this year, you can direct the IZ Days of Christmas fic for your favorite member!

So last year's attempt of IZ Days of Christmas was a royal fuck-up. I didn't even get to put out fics for some members on time. Hell, I didn't even put out a fic for two! Sorry, Yuri and Yujin :(

I don't want that to happen again. So now, before the Christmas season starts, you can commission a fic for your IZ*ONE bias for a low price of $12! I'm close to finishing my last three commissions and have closed them, so no one will be left out this time and I'll write it because I'm getting paid, duh :hannikek:

(Also, I have a shitload of siblings I need to buy Christmas gifts for, so please help me out here.)

Why $12? IZ*ONE is forever and always 12 <3

This year, I guarantee that every member will get a fic out for IZ Days of Christmas.

How do I commission you?

Just send me the form indented below when you order the commission on the link before it!

Commission me an IZ Days of Christmas fic!

> Tumblr username: > Ko-fi username: > IZ*ONE member: > Plot: > Kinks: > Extra notes: > A pic for inspiration and to help with the plot (optional):

Then, send the form through DMs, too!

First come, first serve. I will be accepting commissions until November 25, 2023. The posting of fics will start on December 14, 2023. The list below will indicate if a member is still available!

Kwon Eunbi (CLOSED)

Miyawaki Sakura (CLOSED)

Kang Hyewon (CLOSED)

Choi Yena (CLOSED)

Lee Chaeyeon (CLOSED)

Kim Chaewon (CLOSED)

Kim Minju (CLOSED)

Yabuki Nako (CLOSED)

Honda Hitomi (CLOSED)

Jo Yuri (CLOSED)

An Yujin (CLOSED)

Jang Wonyoung (CLOSED)

Rules

You have to be 18+ internationally to commission.

NO REFUNDS.

No scat, poop, noncon, three/moresomes. or bestiality.

No usual "Christmas" plot - it'll get a little too repetitive.

There is no word count limit or expectation that's promised. It can be as short as 3k words or as long as 10k!

We have the rule of confidentiality and mutual trust here. As long as you ignore any personal information you might see on my end, I'll cast a blind eye on yours <3

Thank you! Merry Christmas (yes, the Christmas season begins on the "-ber" months here.) Be the beautiful, horny people that you are!

[bowandcurtsey]

Idk if you do crackfics but if you don't feel free to ignore this but I'd like to send in a request for headcanons for Fuego, William and nozel and their s/o making them take care of their firstborn baby. Stuff like cleaning their diapers, changing their clothes or making them burp just any baby things and the baby pees on them or throws up on them? Fuego and nozel are royals so they probably have nannies to do these things but s/o wanted the daddies to bond with their baby cuz they're always busy and things

I just love your works so much. Sending Lots of love and positive vibes for you❤️❤️

!DAD BLACK CLOVER BOYS! I love it, hehe (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Thank you for sending them love and positive vibes huehue, I'm happy to find time to write. I was reading the Manga earlier, I just cant wait for this arc to end. I'm feeling so tired from all the fighting. ):

Characters: Fuegoleon | Nozel | William x f! reader tw: unchecked, baby mess (pee poop vomit) s/n: son's name d/n: daughter's name

Fuegoleon Vermillion

He Is hands on whether you had a nanny or not. It was only if he had no choice he would get the nanny to help.

Well your husband was a really busy man afterall, so he had to be away a lot of the time, so he was feeling a little sad about missing out on his first born's growth journey.

Thus, whenever he could, he would be doing everything. Changing clothes for her, picking out the cutest dresses or something that matches your outfit.

He wasn't really good at it, but he would change their diapers too. He didn't mind getting poop stained on his hands, or his shirt stained with pee.

"there's gonna come a day when I wouldn't be able to change her diapers anymore, honey."

You weren't complaining, cause you'll have time to rest and do your own things.

He'll have his blunders here and there, like the time when he played with the d/n too close after meal time and she vomited all over his hair.

He was really apologetic about it but d/n was smiling and laughing from all the fun, you just couldn't help but laugh as well.

As long as Fue was around when she cried, he would get up from whatever he was doing to tend to her. He would cradle her, play with her, read to her until she calmed down.

You were glad for all the help, the only downside was that he didn't ever want to leave her. Even for date nights, he would want to bring her along and sometimes it becomes family nights.

You would have to give him the eye before he would leave d/n with the nanny.

Also, 10/10 over protective dad.

Nozel Silva

He questioned on why it was necessary for him to do the cleaning up in the beginning. Because "we have the nannies for that"

And that you both could just focus on feeding, teaching, playing with s/n.

Well it was your first born and you didn't want to miss out on anything so you still did the changing and cleaning half of the time.

I mean, you still counted your blessings that you had Nann(ies) to assist you, since it was really taxing for your body after birth and you had to recover and take care of yourself AND take care of an infant at the same time. Shit was NOT EASY.

Also, your husband question whether it would really help with bonding since he never remembered his mom or dad for cleaning up after him when he was an infant. Not like anyone could remember anyway.

You kinda felt he made sense.

Until you saw Nozel unable to pacify his son and had the nannies to calm the baby.

"It's that kind of bond, Nozel." you were arguing with him about it one day.

Well, because you got him wrapped around your pinky, he had to do this hands on clean up stuff. And only did he realise that it wasn't that bad afterall.

He knew how his son liked his diapers worn. When he would get a nappy rash, when he would pee or poop.

Well, once he was changing the diaper and s/n peed, and it got all over his shirt. You could tell Nozel was a little annoyed but he continued changing his diaper and cleaning up.

Then he went to change himself. He carried his son in his arms after, looking at him smile and giggle. Nozel pinched his cheeks.

"That bond, right?" you winked at him. And Nozel finally understood.

William Vangeance

He wants to be a hands on dad but he was really really busy. But whenever he could, he would definitely be hands on.

In fact, he holds the baby too much that you'll complain and lament from time to time, that he doesn't spend time with you anymore.

But deep down, you knew that it was because he didn't want to miss the precious times where they grew up so quickly.

But because he spends so little time with his infant child, he does get a little clumsy from time to time.

He would have the diapers the wrong way, and ended up having to shift d/n multiple times, making her more uncomfortable and thus, making her cry even more.

He would be confused on which milk bottle to use and how much to feed. Sometimes, d/n would cry because she was still hungry.

Well, eventually he always used the bigger milk bottle, so you had a pretty chubby baby, haha

He would also get the pyjamas and clothes the wrong side SO OFTEN.

"okay honey, don't they button at the back? But there's one that buttons at the back?"

With all the blunders and questions he's asking you, you hardly get much rest even when he's taking over the baby.

Sometimes you were just too exhausted to correct him and if it wasn't life endangering, you'd just sleep with your baby with her clothes inside out. Or her going out socks. Well, who's looking, right?

It's okay because it's all about the bonding at the end of the day. Whenever you see him smile to your giggling daughter, everything was okay.

[thenixkat]

still thinking about how one of the abilities of the monster that Laios created is shapeshifting. How the remains of his monster form looked like sloughed-off skins like he fucking prince lindwormed himself back into human shape.

Just, like it's fully possible that man could still technically be his fursona just stuck in the shape of a human because he needed to be human-shaped and able to think like a human in order to save his sister.

but also be fun as hell if he just looked like a normal human being. But he's got insatiable demon hunger. The offputting aura that scares off monsters. Plus the powers of his fursona that aren't related to the actual shape of its body like

Able to digest desires (fun potential horror hunger angle in addition to the literal can't feel full no matter what or how much he eats thing)

can make a forest from its poop (super fertilizer poop or shenanigans involving trees sprouting from the royal toilet)

Can change shape

Able to be the leader of a pack? (followed by groups of animals?)

Tough body that can't be damaged by magic (a surprise for a would be assassination plot)

Strong

I will assume that the flying, swimming, and moves about 300 km/h are structural things like not getting confused with the multiple heads

fucking wild if he retained the superstrength, mild invulnerability, soul-eating, and poop that makes incredible fertilizer - urgent maintenance needed for the royal toilet. Tree removal needed.

Laios having to reckon with his choices in character design after accidently ripping a door off the hinges or finding a pine going out of the toilet when he's really gotta go

'leader of a pack' gets followed around by groups of animals when it's not convenient. He just wanted to look at the sheep and now they won't leave him alone

[ladystoneboobs]

Lord Tywin did not, in the end, shit gold.

so, let’s talk about the recurring motif of shit concercerning the lions of casterly rock/king’s landing. the tywin connection is perhaps strongest and most obvious, yet the appearence of either literal poop or poop talk comes up with all the other lannisters too, barring only myrcella and tommen.

i counted at least 9 mentions of the joke about tywin pooping precious metals. (8 in the main series plus 1 in the world book) this includes the title joke in his death scene, and then there are over 10 more references to tywin dying in the privy.

we’ve also got:

one of our first descriptions of joffrey’s bad personality is jon snow’s summation of him as “a little shit”. not literal poop in this case, but i thought the choice of insult was interesting. (in fact, i believe this is the only time that term is used this way. no non-lannister could ever be so shitty.)

tyrion’s first job from tywin being putting him in charge of all of the drains in casterly rock, presumably including the ones from the privies.

tyrion asking “why does a bear shit in the woods?” in response to cat’s question of why littlefinger would lie to her

bronn telling tyrion he won’t “m'lord you every time you take a shit” in the same chapter where tyrion tells the vale mountain clansmen that his “father’s smiths shit better steel” than their weaponry.

walder frey deeming tywin and stannis “both bungholes who think they're too noble to shit” (”think” meaning walder knows better, that tywin does shit and it’s probably just as gross and stinky as frey poop)

tyrion listing “magnificient destriers shit everywhere” as a reason his battlefield days were done (or so he thought) 

tyrion telling varys he should wear his rugen disguise to court and that it would make cersei “soil her smallclothes”

tyrion choosing to poison cersei with laxatives so that she’d be too busy shitting to bother him during court business.

tyrion deeming his predecessors, lords arryn and stark, “too honest to live, too noble to shit” (in this case i think he’s using “too noble” in a different sense than walder frey did, implying that shitting is practical and immoral, like any competant lannister would like to be)

the king’s landing riot on the day of myrcella’s departure starting with multiple clods of dung being flung at joffrey.

joffrey’s crown then being “dung-encrusted” as tyrion attacked him after they escaped the riot

tyrion telling varys and bronn that joffrey was not fit to sit a privy, let alone the throne

catelyn comparing jaime’s honor to the contents of the bucket where he’d been forced to piss and shit in his dungeon cell. an implied shit-for-honor metaphor which he returns to several times, twice in that last chapter with her and repeatedly (at least 7 times, the magic number!) in his own pov.

tywin’s horse taking a shit in the throne room right before he made his grand entrance post-blackwater

tyrion being trapped in a room smelling of “blood and shit and burnt flesh”  when he was warehoused with all the other wounded and dead/dying immediately post-blackwater

tyrion saying cersei treated him like a mushroom on his sickbed post-blackwater because she “keeps me in the dark and feeds me shit”

tyrion thinking of the upcoming royal wedding and its pie, believing that doves especially love to shit on him, a sentiment repeated on the wedding day

a king’s landing urchin trying to throw manure at tyrion, and later tyrion telling sansa they must keep the curtains closed on his litter to avoid those fecal projectiles. (the kingslanders seem to be very fond of dung-throwing since tyrion was told they also threw it at his vale clansmen as they were sent home)

jaime recalling that the mad king shit himself in his last moments (meaning jaime’s kingslaying and tyrion’s kinslaying came with the same odor)

jaime noticing the abundance of horseshit in the stables of the outlaws’ inn he and bri and cleos visit

jaime recounting that brienne had to clean him when he soiled himself in the saddle post-mutilation 

on jaime’s first return to harrenhal he notes “Someone had dug a privy trench in the very spot where he'd once knelt before the king to say his vows.” (gotta love all the obvious symbolism in jaime’s pov. “it was that white cloak that soiled me, not the other way around.”)

tyrion wishing the father’s statue would fall and “crush joff like a dung beetle” during the royal wedding ceremony 

jaime explaining the stink of the capital to his northern escort as “Smoke, sweat, and shit. King's Landing, in short.” (kl being a setting associated with the lannisters, perhaps even moreso than never-seen-yet casterly rock.)

jaime correcting a man at the gates of kl who thought tywin shit silver instead of gold

the hound saying sansa “shit on the Imp's head and flew off.” when learning of her escape

jaime seeing a crow shitting on blessed baelor’s statue as he and cersei spoke to mace tyrell at tywin’s funeral

tyrion seeing a pile of horse dung on the old valyrian road and thinking of his father down in some hell

tyrion telling duck and haldon "Pissing is the least of my talents. You ought to see me shit." as his means of introduction

even kevan gets into the poop game telling jaime "I was hanging outlaws and robber knights when you were still shitting in your swaddling clothes”

cersei then tells jaime that kevan will have his hands full at darry “teaching Lancel how to wipe his arse.”

cersei dreaming of keeping tyrion’s severed head in her chamber pot to pee and poop on

tyrion describing the smell of old volantis: “There's fish in it, and flowers, and some elephant dung as well. Something sweet and something earthy and something dead and rotten.”

tyrion thinkling the mud in the poorest part of volantis was the color of “a baby’s nightsoil”

tyrion noticing dung carts pulled by dung-tattooed slaves and almost walking into elephant dung until jorah snatched him aside

jaime meeting shitmouth on his 2nd return to harrenhal

cersei being disgusted by all the sparrows befouling baelor’s plaza “with their pigs and goats and nightsoil” (nightsoil = human poop euphemism)

jaime recalling merrett frey being branded by wenda the white fawn and “the kettles of shit his fellow squires made him eat once he was returned” (presumably in a figurative sense)

genna telling her husband he could wipe his arse with the deed to riverrun for all the good it did while the blackfish still held the castle

edwyn frey’s plan in jaime’s riverrun war council involving shit-smeared arrows 

jaime describing the freys’ messy siege camp with “raw brown mud, mixed with horse dung and torn up by hooves and boots alike” and only “flies, horse dung, and Ser Ryman's gallows, standing forlorn” left after their departure

tyrion thinking the people laughing at his fall in his and penny’s show on the ship would “have laughed hard enough to shit their breeches along with him[tywin]” if they’d seen him kill his father

then tyrion and penny being trapped during the storm with her dog and ever-shitting pig (and the ship’s creak sounding like “a constipated fat man straining to shit”)

tyrion again experiencing the “stink of blood and shit” in the slavers’ camp amid the bloody flux

tyrion thinking the yunkish supreme comander looked “as formidable as a loose stool” 

tyrion and penny having to clean yezzan’s pools of slimy, bloody shit after he contracted the bloody flux 

doing all that in “a miasma of sweat, shit and sickness inside yezzan’s pavilion” 

one of the second sons offering to behead tyrion and toss his corpse in the latrine pit upon his arrival in brown ben’s tent

cersei smelling the essence of kl upon her release from baelor’s sept: “the scents of sour wine, bread baking, rotting fish and nightsoil, smoke and sweat and horse piss. No flower had ever smelled so sweet.” 

cersei later slipping, during her walk of shame, in “something that might have been nightsoil”. which was probably not so sweet

cersei walking on, after she could see the red keep ahead, through mud and dung, bleeding and hobbling

brown ben plumm telling tyrion he’d have to shit into a bucket bc of too many eyes at the latrines

tyrion telling penny “Fight or hide or shit yourself, as you like, but whatever you decide to do, you'll do it clad in steel."

some of these are just turns of phrase or everybody poops situations included for the sake of comprehensiveness, but i do think the sheer amount of lannister-related poop references is meaningful. does it mean anything that tyrion, as tywin “writ small”, (and tywin’s most unfavorite lannister) is the child of tywin with the most shit references (or is just that he also has the most pov chapters?)? or that cersei, tywin’s other heir (and tyrion’s other abuser) ends up trapped in a privy after being dosed with laxatives by tyrion, and then tywin dies in a privy after being shot by tyrion? or that myrcella and tommen, the most innocent lannisters, are not so associated with shit? 

this imagery does have different meanings with each character. for tyrion it’s usually about his father and society at large shitting on him, for jaime it’s mostly about his solied honor and the dishonorable characters he interacts with, for joffrey and cersei it’s about the common people they disdain reacting to them, bringing them down by dirtying their bodies, human waste connecting the lannisters with those they rule, not so different after all. and for tywin, poop regularly ruins his moments of glory whether it’s his entrance to the throne room, his death failing to shit gold, or his very smelly funeral. but for all of them it is a humanizing element, showing they are just as gross and vulnerable as anyone else. jaime is no golden god, he’s a disabled knight at one point too weak to wipe his own butt in the immediate aftermath of his injury. perhaps that is the real lasting legacy of tywin lannister: a load of reeking shit which can be gilded like gold but never truly mistaken for perfection.