#rufioh log

[coolscar]

i think my rufioh rp blog is inaccessible now??? i had used the gmail thing where it’s your regular email with “+(word)” at the end and counts as a new email account. the email i used was (myemail)+rufioh@gmail and google is saying it doesn’t exist and tumblr won’t let me login also saying it can’t be found. what the fuuuuck. the blog is still there.. i logged into it a few months ago even!!! wtf do i do i want it back 🥺

[rainbowpixiecat]

Fighting But Writing

Fighting writer’s block and my rusty brain to write an ABDL fanfic set in the Underswap universe currently alongside one about Fresh set in the Momma CQ verse. I’m getting words out but I feel like my brain is broken. It comes out all sloppy and wrong, and the words just don’t flow. But I’m fighting past the block as hard as I can. I seem to do better to get a trainwreck down in a blank document and then go back and edit it into something I can be happy with. It wasn’t always like that, I used to be a much better writer.... But...I don’t know why this is happening. I feel so tired lately and my sleep schedule is still messed up. I set an alarm for tomorrow morning so I can get up and write on the fic some more. It’s not meant to be a long fic but I’m bad at writing short stories. I don’t know, I just have to write till I ‘feel’ like it’s a good ending finally, and I’ve done everything I wanted to fit in with the fic. 

It’s been way too long since I’ve updated my blog here. And the emetostuck blog. I can’t even remember the log in for it. But I’ve commissioned a piece of writing featuring Rufioh that hopefully I can post there. Years? Huh? What are those? Time doesn’t pass in my little dream bubble. I can update things whenever I want. -cough cough-  Ahem....

Anyway, I have so many things I want to write, I just need to force my stupid broken brain to cooperate with me. I can imagine the scenarios like movies, I can write the idea down on paper, but writing the actual stories is hard lately. I’m worried that maybe I role played so much that I forgot how to write stories on my own, without other people’s help. Or maybe I lost the ability to write well anymore. T_T But I won’t let it defeat me. There’s so many ideas for Bitty Bones and Undertale AUs and stuff. And old works I gotta finish so I don’t die with unfinished buisness and come back as a ghost to finish them off. 

[melon3x]

Memories long forgotten

(This is an Au where basically Tyzias Relives/gets memories of the Ancestors past. Had this idea after seeing a picture of like the ghost of the ancestors surrounding her while looking at a book so uh here we go!) Tw: Mentions of gore, slavery, death, and vomiting

The rotten wood groans underneath her as dust clogged her nose. This ship had seen better days, everything looking as if frozen by time, telling a story of long ago. Even with rotted wood tables and worn down valuables, phantom images of a lively crew celebrating countless victories played behind her eyes. With these images also came tales of betrayal, of heartbreak and longing.

Tyzias couldn’t stop the shiver that goes down her spine, couldn’t help grazing the well worn table in front of her with a tentative touch. Just from looking at it all, a sense of home filled her, like the famed pirate captain was standing next to her and telling her all the stories of their time at sea. Mindfang was notorious for her cruelty towards lowbloods, so many rumours about her misdeeds and punishments still scream loudly in her mind.

Yet, as Tyzias glances around the ship, she could understand there was more to the story than was once said. Something was whispering to her, begging her to figure out the truth, calling for her to look deeper, to connect the dots.

‘Just a little further land lover...just a l8ttle further…’

A soft whisper, so quiet that it could only have been the wind tricking her, caresses her ear, pulling away from her thoughts on the tauntingly empty room.Shaking the rest of the warm images from her mind, she heads for a rotten door to her left, a door that could only be the captain’s quarters from the gold trimmings and jewels that lined it. A sense of foreboding washes over her as she pushes the fragile door open gently.

Unlike what most would think for the great mindfang to have, her quarters weren't flashy or even that extravagant. It looked more like a bookworm's haven than a pirate's living space, with towers of books lining a broken desk. Shelves made up the walls, all filled with books of different genres, most looking to be non-fiction. Everything looked to have a place, so chaotically organized it even took a smart ass like her a second to really see it, the only thing out of place was that of a book laying half-hazpardly on the floor.

Picking it up, it didn’t take long to deduce it was a captain’s log, though it looked to be more like a personal journal. Flipping through it, Tyzias feels her interest peak as she reads over it all:

Today is the 2nd coming of the full moon whilst at se8,

That 8astard Cronus cam8 t8 chat with me t8day. We argued as usu8l. Swear that rotten violet 8itch is out to make m8 deck him. He f8und my little 8ook stash and now won't stop call8ng me a f8cking 88okwriggler. Well m8ster 8ig 8ad orphaner, at le8st now I can capture and enslave more effectively than your 'eh vwahtevver' ass.

Nausea swirls a little in Tyzias stomach at how flippant Mindfang was at enslaving people, trying to shake it off she flips a few pages over, seeing as most early entries were just complaining about this..Cronus person:

T8day is th8 14th full moon since we set sail

Cronus came 8ack again, appar8ntly a re8ellion is 8rewing on land, One calling for th8 end 8f the hem8caste. It's 8unch of hogwash 8f yo8 asked me, 8f the hemocaste has 88en going on for this long. What do a 8unch of low8l8ods think they'd 8e a8le to do? Esp8cially aga8nst th8 empress of all people. I don't understand why Cr8nus is rooting for these people. Doesn't he und8rstand what wo8ld h8ppen if our system were to c8llapse?

Even if it were for 88tter, our f8cked up system won't just dissape8r. We are so intertwined with th8s system 8nd design of s8ci8ty that just throwing it out in one day will 8nly c8use an even 8igger divide, and a h8ll of a lot more d8ath.

Ugh, I have a headache.

Stopping for a second, She looks at the words with a contemplating look, skipping ahead a few more pages, Tyzias almost drops the book in surprise.

Day wh8ver the fuck.

He 8etr8yed me.

It was the end of the journal, and yet images of there after played in her vision, leaving Tyzias to collapse to the ground, gripping her hair in agony.

“Hah, they sent a small fry like you to de8l with me?” Her blinded eye sached, spikes of pain were lacing where an arm should've been. Despite it all, Aranea smiled cockily, still radiating an air about her that people only dreamed of.

Never showing off how god damn scared she truly was.

Neophyte never responded to her once, unwilling to give her any leeway. So many mixed emotions curled around Mindfang’s core, the hurt of her ex-kismesis betrayal easing slightly at the mere sight of Neophyte.

“You know, if you weren't so adamant a8out s8ck8ng the law systems dick, we could've 8een g8od rivals.” Saying this was such a nonchalant voice, Mindfang let a bitter smile ease onto her face when the famous Redglare let annoyance show on her face.

“This 8s the part where your own audience 8etrays you!” Relishing in the alarm that suddenly appeared on the masses, the ex-pirate captain calls on her blood's power, whispering sickly words as she washes away all rebellious thoughts from the scared bystanders. As the noose meant for her wraps around Latula Pyrope speaks her final words,

“1 h4v3 h1gh3r st4nd3rs th4n to 3v3r h4v3 you 4s my k1sm3s1s.”

Memories flood Tyzias head, leaving a searing heachache in its place as she lives the life of Aranea Serket. Only as the Summoner, Rufioh Nitram she learns in one memory, brings down his lance and the agonizing pain of being skewered in the heart, holy fuck that hurts more than I though it would, did all pain ease.

Unable to stop herself, Tyzias regurgitates her food from earlier. It was kind of Ironic how a twisted person that was Aranea, died for a cause she was against. Shakily pulling out her notebook, Tyzias writes down the new information: the weight of...something...finally easing off of her shoulders. Having gone through this a few times, a sigh of relief escapes her chapped lips,

The story of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang is officially finished…

Only three more to go.

[friendly-peep]

Which Homestuck characters would read Homestuck and their opinion

idk i’m bored. What’s Homestuck^2? What’s epilogues? We’re strictly Homestuck in this house. Also only doing main characters, I’m not going to dive into the Felt or caparacians, I want this to be done today.

Beta kids:

June: Avid reader. Got in early and read the whole thing. Got shirts, unironically liked it.

Rose: Got in late, but got into it. Loved the tarot deck, uses it to pretend she’s reading while she just tells people their truths. Noticed some narrative issues but overall liked it.

Dave: Got in shortly after June did, read for a while, but his irony poisoning led to him sassing the HECK out of it. Made a diss blog. Kept reading it “ironically” and cannot tell if he actually likes it or not. Got a god tier hoodie he wears at home. Sampled some of the soundtracks for his raps.

Jade: Loved it. LOVED IT. Got the full soundtrack. Made remixes. Got all the shirts. One of the blogs that posted “UPD8!” whenever an update happened. Big fanartist during the Gigapauses.

Beta Guardians:

June’s Dad: Tried to get into it to connect to his daughter’s interest, but the memes were too much, so he became the “Are ya winning, daughter?” dad. Very supportive but would need fifty slow paced “Homestuck explained” videos.

Mom Lalonde: Read it, but was too intoxicated to remember most. She holds obscure knowledge and will remember minute trivia, but don’t ask her about any of the large plot points.

Bro Strider: Too busy being A Mess Of A Human Being to sit down and read.

Poppop Harley: Too busy being A Dang Explorer to sit down and read.

Alpha kids:

Jane: Takes time to read it slowly. Has a blog of theories she constantly updates. Was upset about how some plot points got dropped and underdeveloped.

Roxy: Much like Jade, loved it. While Jade made remixes, Roxy cosplays. She has killer cosplays of most characters. Screamed about updates on twitter. No filter, accidentally drops spoilers left right and center.

Dirk: Deep, DEEP character examinations. Draws diagrams, writes essays. Unironically liked the potential of Paradox Space, may have even submit his own stories to be a guest artist.

Jake: Read the whole thing, liked it, missed many connections and plot points, was satisfied with the ending. Got some merch, can say “I read Homestuck” in public and be blissfully unaware of any positive and negative baggage that comes with saying so.

Alpha Guardians:

Jane’s Dad: Much like June’s Dad, tried to get into it. Unlike June’s Dad, watched and read his daughter’s theories (and Dirk’s explanations when Jane linked them to him) and became A Walking Homestuck Encyclopedia. Jane is unsure how to feel about this. He, however, does not reference it.

Roxy’s Rosemom: Too busy fighting the good fight to read. It’s in her radar but didn’t get the time to read it.

Dirk’s Davedad: Read it as a novelty. Sent Hussie a gold-plated Bad Dragon dildo. Put offhand references to it on his movies, but they were so oblique that even readers didn’t get it.

Jade English: Too busy running her own baking good company to read Homestuck. Not even in her radar.

Alternia Trolls:

Aradia: Much like Dirk, got REAL DEEP into it. Makes youtube vids explaining classpects and narrative points. Actually wrote a dissertation on Homestuck.

Tavros: Tried to get into it, but the first few acts were not to his taste so he never got to the trolls ironically enough. Likes the character designs though.

Sollux: Next level Dave. Critiques the FUQUE out of it on every platform he can. If Hatedom is a thing, he made it. He’s the founder. It’s him. But he read it to the end.

Karkat: Read it, loves it, does some interesting character relationship examinations. Predicted who would end up with who with 100% accuracy. Wasn’t a vocal fan, didn’t get merch, but still liked it.

Nepeta: The shipper who launched a thousand ships. She writes crackfic but with deep care, making sure it makes sense that characters would end up together. Got one of every homestuck shirt. Very into it.

Kanaya: Got into it only because her friends got into it. If Karkat hadn’t talked about it she would not have gotten into it but she did because she wants to be able to carry a conversation with her friends. Not a huge fan.

Terezi: She can and WILL correct you if you get trivia wrong. She did not sit through hours of text-to-speech pesterlogs for some scrub to get it wrong. Defiant Homestuck defender. She’ll cut you if you say you don’t like Homestuck (she won’t, but she’s judging you from the other side of the room)

Vriska: Skipped the first acts and jumped right into Alternia. Little context, little care. Pretends she didn’t, gets facts hilariously wrong which Terezi takes as an invitation to tease her. Fanartist.

Equius: Another fanartist. He made physical media as opposed to drawings. Slow reader, got into it late and didn’t finish until way after the comic had ended. Did not get to experience the comic without Random Paradox Arms all over the place. Loved by the community for his short reaction posts about what happened at the point he’s at.

Gamzee: Either first person to post “Update” when comic updated, or doesn’t read for months and then catches up in two days. Skips many chat logs, but still gets most of the plot no problem. Remembers exact phrasing of the posts he does read though.

Eridan: Another Character Analysis blogger. He dives into (pun unintended) why some characters are The Absolute Worst and writes fanfic of how they would be if they had a chance to be in a different circumstances. The Problematique fan, but only because people assume the worst of him. He’s actually pretty chill.

Feferi: Superfan, and Super Content Creator. Started making plushies and charms and eventually started selling them. Her stuff became a badge of honor and people posted themselves hugging their plushies during the gigapause.

Ancestors:

Too busy caught up in their personal turmoils to read any of it. Except the Condesce. She sent Hussie a diamond-studded Bad Dragon dildo.

Beforus trolls:

Damara: Big fan, but doesn’t express it because of the crowd she’s with. But she has a blog where she tries to get in touch with new readers and is always open to answer questions others might have. Not a Big Name fan, but she’s much more vocal online than in person, and even then it’s through an alt account.

Rufioh: Got people into it, but he himself didn’t finish reading after the Scratch. Said he would but he just never got to doing so.

Mituna: Prone to ranting when updates happened. Very emotionally invested, nearly died when Game Over happened.

Kankri: The nitpicker to end all nitpicks. He critiqued everything, and hated that there were hero mode, simplified and silly drawings. Genuinely disliked all characters for faults that he himself has, yet never self-examined. Got a following that  consisted three-quarters of people who made fun of his rants and one-quarter of people who were as intense as he is.

Meulin: Big, BIG fan. Prolific fanfic writer, if a character pairing exists, rarepair or not, she wrote a fic about them. Likes all characters and as such thinks she must devote roughly the same wordcount for everyone she can. Disappears for months then reemerges with twenty new fics.

Porrim: Moderate fan, great cosplayer. The more complex the outfit, the more she wanted to make it. Routinely goes out in Jade’s Dead Shuffle and Three in the Morning dresses because she is incredibly proud of them.

Latula: Not a big fan. Knows most of what she knows through cultural osmosis because her friends got into it, but she’s not likely to ever read it herself. Likes how into it her friends are though.

Aranea: Much like Jane’s Dad, she’s the walking encyclopedia, except she memorized the content of almost every page, and if she doubts her knowledge, will immediately go to her computer and look up what she is unsure of. Tries not to talk people’s ears off and will only talk about Homestuck when asked about it.

Horuss: Super into it. To a maybe creepy degree. Doesn’t show in public but if you get access to his secret blogs it’s more like character shrines. Don’t dig too deep into it.

Kurloz: Read it, kinda into it, but not that big of a fan. He will talk about it but he’s pretty lukewarm about the whole thing.

Cronus: Read it to impress a crush, got genuinely into it, but isn’t a vocal fan.

Meenah: Didn’t read it, much like Latula learned about it because everyone around her talked about it. Unlike Latula, she mocks everyone for liking something she says is “for nerds”. Still kinda wants to read it to be part of the conversation but her pride of Not Knowing About Homestuck is too great to overcome that hurdle.

[toycarousel]

Do you have that audio log post

(Hopefully this is along the lines of what you meant, Anon! Let me know if not~!)

And sorta, but it doesn’t cover all my *N.S/F.W/ audio posts! I’m going to post them all here though, because I wanted to give you all a chance to listen to those recordings here before I delete them! They’ll be available until the evening of the 16th (maybe).  I’ll try to keep them up for as long as I can.  :’) I just gotta delete them in time to let tumblr know my blog has been purified to their standards.

Either way, here they are, Folks~! I’ll reblog the post for ppl periodically, and I’ll be posting a list of my SFW recordings as well, for easy access! (And that one I won’t have to delete~!)

Homestuck: No More Daymares (cronkri tickles)

Envy is Green, Jealousy is Jade (Porrim/Listener)

Lost and Found (Sollux/Listener aftercare)

Obedience (Sollux/Listener)

Blizzard Conditions (cronkri 2017 Holiday special)

Cool Water on a Hot Night (Porrim/Cronus/Kankri)

Sparklers (cronkri)

Stuffed (Cronus/Listener stuffing/feeding)

Cramps (Solo Cronus)

Irresistible (Kankri/Listener) 

Mooning Ovwer You (Solo Cronus)

A Rainy Night (cronkri thunderstorm one)

Chef’s Assistant (Kankri/Cronus, top!Kankri)

Brief Kankri Sample

Just the Steam (Cro/Listener)

First Time (cronkri)

College AU Professor!Kankri/adult listener

Humanstuck cronkri (Christmas special)

Lingerie (cronkri)

Solo Dolorosa

Ablution (cronkri shower stuff)

Dirty Laundry (solo Kankri)

I Knew These Two Dudes at a Corpse Party (Sollux/Kankri AU)

Thrill Ride (Cro/Listener)

Shift Work (Cro/Listener/Kankri)

Dualscar (audition clip for SSV)

Icy Interaction (Dom!Listener/Cro)

Untitled Cronkri

Brief Red (cronkri)

Untitled cronkri DP

Micro!cronkri

Rufioh/Gamzee

Porrim/Listener (Listener has a name)

Gamzee/Fem!Listener

Untitled cronkri (in which Kankri swears)

Dom!Kankri/Listener

Just a Slip of the Tongue (cronkri)

Untitled Porrim/Listener

Trickster!Kankri/Cronus

Porrim/Kankri

Untitled cronkri (water-sports)

Regulu water-sports (the fantroll of a friend from a while back)

Untitled cronkri (*emeto)

Cro/Listener (dirtytalk/semi-daddy???)

Treetalk (cronkri)

Tech Support (erisol)

Mituna/Cronus

Non-Homestuck: (there’s a grand total of 1 and it’s from Undertale) Mettaton/Listener

[reasonpeason]

Hello! Love gamebound so far, your artstyle for it is super authentic and you have a lot of talent, this is going to be amazing :) hope these arent too spoiler-y 1) So far, which characters are you having the most fun with developing in your take on Beforus? 2) Porrim/Meenah got me thinking, are there any other new quadrants between the characters or are you doing canon only ships? (Im super curious/excited about kankri/meulin interactions considering their alternian selves) Have a great day!

Hi!

I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far, it really does mean a lot to me when someone tells me this since I’ve been very nervous about posting logs where they speak actually. QuQ This started getting long, so I hope you’re good with that~

So question 1: Who I’ve had the most fun developing.

This is actually a super hard to answer because as I fleshed everyone out, I’ve absolutely been loving all of them.  I want to have everyone doing something while playing the game so I have moving parts to switch between.  They all had their subplots and drama going on that ended up tearing them apart.  But one of the most fun parts, tbh, is how much it took me away from a lot of popular fanon I’ve realized. XD;; But one of the wildest things is how the Epilogues, though I’m not exactly the biggest fan of them, actually *strengthened* my connections to the source material.

(one such thing being a post-scarcity economy achieved via alchemy equipment which I decided on before the Epilogues but never said anything so literally no proof of my shitty oracle status)

I don’t want to leave the answer at “all of them” with no explanation though, so I’ll go with fav thing I’ve got for each of them (which will also be extended in the ship question)

Meenah: Just how isolated she was from everyone else being sequestered in a palace without anyone but Feferi.

Damara: Being the happy sweet girl she was

Rufioh: Who he was before his shitty relationship decisions and how he ended up there.

Mituna: The absolute dumpster fire of a /b/tard he is

Kankri: The evolution of how exactly he went about his armchair activism is fun.  There’s more than one way to get there and there’s more than one way to go about it and how he literally goes through all the worst ways.

Meulin: Her friendfic and how she takes requests

Porrim: Duty vs personal values vs personal biases

Latula: Trying to keep her social life stable

Aranea: Her meddling

Horuss: ANGERY but also his prefix in place of 8=D I made I think is adorable (will be seen next upd8).

Kurloz: How the dude talks, still trying to grasp and also his faith

Cronus: His loss of faith in magic + being a bard

That won’t be all there is to them, but it’s some of the choice bits of development that made me feel clever in my planned execution. :y

Question 2: The Ships~

I’m not even gonna pretend I’m not all about ships and all for ship talk.  I try to keep out my own shipping, but there are some places it’s cute or makes sense.  It turned out the more I developed Meenah and Porrim and their friendship, Porrim having a massive crush made sense.  It actually serves as an important element in a few ways but being more specific will probably get into spoiler territory (and OH BOY does that kill me, not talking about all of it).

I’m actually exploring relationships before they explode like Rufioh/Damara and Kurloz/Meulin.  I have some timeline fudging with some events, but that is completely intentional on my part (like when relationships end, when some major events happen, etc) for what I feel is a more satisfying narrative, at least how I’m writing it.  I did try to keep a lot the same tho.

I also want to expand on the Kankri/Latula/Mituna situation as one thing I feel is overlooked is that Kankri and Latula’s feelings were mutual, but never acted on.  I’ve also actually been doing a lot of research into frontal lobe injuries (particularly articles with extensive comment sections) and the effects on a relationship.  Especially untreated and literally no guidance for recovery.  Compounded with Latula’s anxiety leads to a not explicitly canon ship actually, but it is hinted. :3c But the Mitula journey is one I’m fond of.

And actually, speaking of Mituna’s relationships, I have had a huge interest in the sincerity of Kurloz and his relationships.

And actually there are some character interactions/relationships that I like working with because of mutual partners.  Particularly Meulin and Mituna is fun to me.  As for any other ships, there is the brief Aranea/Porrim fling, the ambiguity of Aranea and Meenah’s relationship, etc etc…

But really aside from ships, I feel like I’m laying a good groundwork and well… I hope that where they end when the Scratch is initiated vs where we know they’ve ended up in the afterlife has the emotional impact I want. >:3c

However… there is one place I am hiding some more self indulgent ships… but that’s not for here at the moment. 0u0

[utopianparadoxist]

Xefros Tritoh is a Page of Time. also, class roleplay is real.

I’m still too sick to record for the Joey video, so while I don’t have the time to make a full-scale analysis post on everything about Xefros right now (theres a lot) I figured I’d make two crucial things about reading his character clear:

A) Xefros’ unhealthy relationship with Dammek is the latest example yet of unhealthy Class Roleplay dynamics. If anyone remembers, I speculated weeks ago, before the game dropped, that Xefros’ relationship to the role of Butlering might well turn out to be both unhealthy for him and reflective of Classpect behavior. As it turns out, I seem to have been correct. Specifically, Xefros is roleplaying a Knight through his unwilling assignment of the role of the Butler. B) Xefros is a Page of Time.

Let’s explore them in order, considerably more briskly than with the Joey post. There’s more to say about Xefros, obviously, but unfortunately, I just don’t have the....

Time.  Something I have in common with Xefros, fittingly enough.

Xefros’ general lack of time to keep up with the various demands on his time--mostly Dammek’s demands on his time--is a strong focus point of his character.

And just in case we’re not super sold on it yet, Xefros does us the Time-saving  courtesy of establishing his relationship to the aspect by reinforcing Time’s longstanding relationship to music and rhythm! How nice of you, Xefros. 

Now where were we?

Right. Xefros has a lot on his plate: Band practice, revolutionary lectures, butler practice, and only the occasional reverie about getting to spend time on something Xefros himself finds interesting.

And most of that time is lost in various forms of service to Dammek. Serve is, at this point, basically inarguably the key verb for the Knight/Page class pair--combining connotations of providing service/help, dealing defeats/ownage/sick burns, and literally serving/giving items to others, as the verb counterparts to Thieves/Rogues’ ‘Steal/Take’. 

So Xefros’ unhealthy position of servitude to Dammek is explicitly linked to his unwanted, forced assignment of the role of Butler--which in Homestuck terms loosely correlates to the role of Knight. Dave’s biggest contribution to his session is to serve all his friends time or provide them with resources through the use of his time, for example. 

But where doing so comes naturally to Dave, for Xefros it is an effort to play the role. Xefros does not find butlering fulfilling, and he’s not particularly good at it, either--it’s not where his natural talents shine. 

This is a common thread with most kinds of class roleplay--it usually doesn’t work out well for a player character to pretend to be something they’re not. 

Perhaps particularly so when the role the character is playing encourages them to adopt the opposite class alignment, as when an ACTIVE player is conditioned into acting PASSIVELY. This line comes from Xefros’ FLARP book, by the way, which has a bunch of Classpect references. Fitting, since FLARP is what introduces us to the concept of Class Roleplay in Homestuck proper.

Because this line kind of has to be taken in context. The truth is, Xefros would rather be playing a game.  And it’s in the context of that game, along with Xefros’ childhood and natural effect on others, that we’ll find references to his true classpect, buried under the burden of the imposed Butler role. 

Pages, like Knights, are linked to the image of the Butler--but not as players who fill the role themselves. Rather, Pages seem to have a talent for inspiring other players to act as Butlers for them. Or to close the ouroboros loop of classpecting: To get others to act as their Knights.

Xefros’ affinity for Arena Stickball immediately strikes this echo, as one of the things Xefros immediately remembers is having his Brawler defending him-- a relationship echoed by Tavros’ affinity for using animals as his warriors, and Jake’s summoning of a splinter of Dirk to protect him from Aranea. 

Xefros’ demeanor quickly turns around an overwhelmed and exhausted Joey, making her quickly grow concerned and then adamant about helping him in return for his own kindness. 

This ability of Pages to inspire others around them to want to help them is part of the reason why I think it’s likely Dammek’s concern for him is at least somewhat genuine--though that’s by no means the same as healthy. Vriska’s concern for Tavros was genuine, too, lest we forget.

And Xefros is prone to both Giving things to others and trying to make others happy in ways that ultimately turn out to benefit him. This comes through clearest with Sloth Dad, whom Xefros would give gifts or receive food from whilst always benefiting from the arrangement in some way. 

Xefros’ first cuebat, his physical strength, and open passage from his house are all things achieved by giving. But past the key verbs, Xefros’ clearest indication for both his class of Page and his aspect of Time come through in his relationship to his ancestral figure: Xultan Matzos. 

Xefros’ text logs on Xultan are drowning in both references to Time and a profound personal admiration. He likens Xefros to a figure from history, imagines convoluted alt-timeline crossovers featuring various versions of Xultan, fantasizes about having the kind of psychic power Xultan had, and more. 

He also admits to fantasizing about just imagining Xultan standing around, believing in him. This fits Xultan squarely into the archetype of the Pages’ imaginary friend, a slot filled by Rufioh for Tavros, and Brain Ghost Dirk for Jake. 

Perhaps most telling, however, is his imitation of Xultan--a copycat approach to self-improvement that Xefros credits with at least occasional success! This has common ground with Homestuck’s Pages too, as Tavros ultimately finds narrative success as he fully embodies his imitation of the role of Peter Pan. 

Jake English also famously copies female action movie tropes in both fashion choices and his eventual fall into the damsel in distress trope, whereby it’s his imagination and faith that Dirk can save him that saves the day. 

And finally, Xefros’ copying habit and Page role are referenced in a two-for-one reference combo, through Joey’s persistent early habit of calling him Xerox. 

In the 90′s, Xerox (Logo pictured above) was the colloquial term for both a product and the company that produced it. Particularly, Xerox was a popular brand of photocopier, meaning a machine designed to copy text and images onto a blank Page. 

I haven’t come close to covering half of what I want to say about Xefros, but I hope this will at least give the rest of the fandom an idea of how he’s set up.  Just for the record, I don’t think the X on Pa’s globe was pointing at Dammek. 

Particularly given Pa’s own status as a Page, Joey’s budding friednship with one puts us in a very interesting position. How will Xefros and Joey’s personalities mesh in the long run, and is Xefros involved in whatever plans Pa seems to have devised?

Interesting questions to consider as we wait for Act 2. 

If you’d like to enable me to expand on this subject, and so bring more questions like these to light in the future, please consider throwing a couple bucks my way on Patreon. This is basically definitely my last written post for a good while, as I am going on hiatus to get my financial life in order as detailed in this post. 

I’m really overwhelmed and grateful by the support so many have shown me, and excited to take posts like the one I did on Joey and this one to Youtube, where more of the fandom can engage with classpects in an accessible way!

You can also feel free to drop by and chat about this and other interesting Hiveswap and Homestuck topics in the r/Hiveswap discord! 

Hope to see you soon, and until then--Keep Rising!

[Patreon] [Hiveswap Discord]

[unrealshithead]

-- troubleGadgeteer [TG] began pestering agelessTsubasa [AT] at 20:09 --

[08:09] TG: ok i know were not pals or anything but i have to ask you a question

[08:10] AT: uhhh... sure, go for 1t.

[08:10] TG: you know crocker

[08:10] TG: short chick with short hair and round glasses

[08:10] AT: jane?

[08:10] TG: yeah

[08:10] AT: yeah, of course 1 do.

[08:11] AT: hey, wa1t...

[08:11] TG: what

[08:11] AT: you're dave yeah? er1dan sa1d you're look1ng for her w1th roxy.

[08:11] AT: d1d you f1nd her?

[08:12] AT: 1s she ok??

[08:12] TG: no

[08:12] AT: oh...

[08:12] TG: she was saying something about you though apparently

[08:12] TG: you and uh

[08:12] TG: makara

[08:12] TG: carlos

[08:12] AT: oh, r1ght... yeah.

[08:12] AT: lol.

[08:13] AT: kurloz, but whatever.

[08:13] AT: keep call1ng h1m carlos... he'll l1ke that.

[08:13] AT: but anyway... yeah... she came to help us.

[08:13] TG: no hed probably break my neck which is why i can only do it behind his back

[08:13] TG: help you with what

[08:14] AT: 1 f1gure you know about all the dream sh*t... so 1'll sk1p that part... bas1cally me and carlos went nuts for a b1t.

[08:15] AT: k1nda wrecked each other, you know?

[08:15] AT: so we needed a healer... and she agreed to come.

[08:17] TG: oh

[08:17] TG: great

[08:17] TG: everyone is fuckin nuts

[08:17] TG: where did she go after that

[08:19] AT: yeah... or lots of 'em anyway... and 1dk for sure, she must have just gone 1nto the forest.

[08:19] TG: what the fuck

[08:20] AT: 1 know... 1 got d1stracted uhhh... deal1ng w1th makara.

[08:20] AT: but uhhh... l1ke 1 told ampora, 1f you're try1ng to f1nd her... ask1ng her to come heal you m1ght work?

[08:20] TG: yeah thats what we were thinking

[08:20] TG: if she comes online

[08:20] TG: and hasnt become princess mononoke or something

[08:21] AT: oh yeah, troll monoke h1me!

[08:21] AT: ...sh*t, 1 hope that hasn't happened.

[08:21] AT: 1t's been a wh1le... 1 don't th1nk she'd have gotten that far...

[08:22] AT: ...she forgot her shoes.

[08:22] TG: i heard

[08:22] TG: i guess well see if she comes online

[08:22] TG: and if she doesnt well kill the forest spirit or something

[08:22] TG: i havent seen that movie in like fifteen years

[08:22] AT: pfff... well you should maybe check 1t out aga1n... later, obv1ously.

[08:23] TG: yeah

[08:23] AT: r1ght... well good luck dude.

[08:23] TG: ok thanks for not obstructing the justice

[08:23] TG: bye

[08:23] AT: no prob...

[08:23] AT: peace.

-- agelessTsubasa [AT] ceased pestering troubleGadgeteer [TG] at 20:23 --

[circuitousgrievance]

[08:35] CG: *Its 6een a while since the accident itself, 6ut Kankri is finally here at the d99r and ready with his list 9f grieviences t9 tally 9ff at Rufi9h. There was as much grumpiness in Kankri's c9mpact 69dy as there was anxi9usness, 6ut he 6ravely and rappidly kn9cked 9n that d99r anyways.*

[09:07] AT: *has been dutifully keeping himself relaxed and resting these past few weeks. Maybe a little too much but hey. It's not like anybody's around to fuss over him too much. At the moment Kankri knocks, Rufioh is reclining in the clutter of his room, feet propped up on the coffee table. This means he's gonna have to get up to answer, which painstakingly he does. The door swings open and there stands Ru

[09:07] AT: f in a loose tshirt and pajama pants.* ...hey, dude. *squints a lil. Well... damn.*

[09:12] CG: *Dont you squint at him sir. Kankri is standing there with his arms cross squarely and his shoulders tight.* Y9u l99k well rested.

[09:12] CG: H9w have y9u 6een?

[09:12] CG: I can't imagine its 6een a great time, given y9ur injuries.

[09:13] CG: And since the t9pic 9f th9se injuries has 6een 6r9ught up, I'd really like t9 g9 int9 great detail a69ut the series 9f redicul9us events that caused y9u t9 get them.

[09:13] CG: If y9u have time 9f c9urse, 6ut I w9uldn't 6e surprised if y9u did.

[09:14] CG: *Is he sounding a little hostile? A little bitter? Yeah.*

[09:19] AT: *hardly has time to respond to the string of questions and rhetorical statements. Rufioh scratches at his chest, idly messing with his bandages under his shirt.* 1 got the t1me.

[09:19] AT: but.

[09:19] AT: 1t also depends.

[09:19] AT: are you... only plann1ng on ragg1ng on me t1l you're blue 1n the face? or can 1 look forward to other po1ntless sh1t we can talk about? *Two can play at this bitter, grump game.*

[09:26] CG: That all depends if y9u are willing t9 hear me talk a69ut said "P9intless shit" and n9t just listen uninterested until I s9meh9w say s9mething that manages t9 send y9u away again until y9u see fit t9 thr9w 69m6ardment items 9f questi9na6le su6stances at me again.

[09:28] CG: *He takes a sharp, deep, breath after that snippy short rant.* I want t9 attempt t9 w9rk 9ut s9me things 6etween us. T9 get an understanding 9f what tensi9n there has 6een weighing heavily 9n 9ur friendship.

[09:28] CG: 6ecause h9nestly I am really starting t9 6ec9me frustrated.

[09:29] AT: *also crosses his arms and leans up against the doorway* to be fa1r. 1 was mess1ng around w1th damara before and 1 thought 1t'd be okay mess1ng w1th you and d1rk.

[09:29] AT: nobody told me 1t was worthy of an ass wallop.

[09:30] AT: but f1ne. whatever. just come 1ns1de. *draags himself back into the block but luckily leaves the door open for Kankri to enter. Careful of the mess.*

[09:33] CG: *He enters and closes the door behind himself at the same time he starts talking.* I never said it was w9rthy 9f that either. The list 9f grieviences I have with Dirk's acti9ns are a mile l9ng and y9u can place high 6ets that when I get t9 him a69ut it he will kn9w my views 9n his 9ver the t9p reacti9n t9 his asult 6y mud and pudding. *Kankri looks around and grimaces at the mess. This place was i

[09:33] CG: n terrible disaray, did it always look like this? This was the first time he had ever been in Rufioh's block.*

[10:09] AT: *Not actually. It's hard keeping up with your room when your rib and emotional health is broke. Rufioh gets himself comfortable back down into the couch, careful as he can.* 1 don't see how 1t's gonna help any.

[10:09] AT: he knows what he d1d was wrong.

[10:09] AT: he's sorry.

[10:10] AT: *slowly rests his elbow onto a pillow*

[10:10] AT: don't need to rem1nd h1m just how.

[10:12] CG: *Kankri huffs and does his best to navigate around trash and other unsavory piles until he is standing near the couch.* H9nestly I think I might need t9. This is n9t the first time he has acted in such a rash and th9ughtless way t9 the p9int where he endangered the well 6eing 9f s9me9ne else. His hands are hardly clean 9f his past incidents.

[10:20] AT: 1t sounds l1ke 1ncr1m1nat1ng someone for the1r act1ons and not acknowledg1ng why they're happen1ng 1n the f1rst place 1s a h1gh fly1ng way to make sure 1t happens aga1n. *mumbles, accidentally knocking an empty tea can from the coffee table with his heel*

[10:24] CG: *He scurries to pick up the fallen can and place it firmly back on the table, a bit farther away from Rufioh's feet, with an agetated sigh.* Are y9u even trying t9 av9id making a larger mess 9f y9ur 6l9ck? It isn't pr9ductive, n9r 6ec9ming, n9r HEALTHY t9 keep it in such a state. I am n9t trying t9 6e 9ver6aring 6ut its fairly redicul9us that y9u have let it get t9 such a state.

[10:30] AT: my r1bs are k1nda broke, dude. *just lies here against the couch, not bothering to move even as Kankri plucks the can up. With his hair deflated and lacking its usual bright red color, he just looks so grumpy.* 1t's hard to keep up w1th my block when 1 can't even touch my toes.

[10:32] CG: And I am supp9sed t9 6elieve there is n9 9ne y9u c9uld have even asked t9 help y9u during this time?

[10:32] CG: 6ecause I am certain there are pe9ple y9u c9uld have asked.

[10:33] CG: Like friends. 9r me. Since I am n9t sure where I fall in terms 9f y9ur regards anym9re.

[10:34] AT: nobody 1 wanted to 1mpose on, no. *fiddles with the drawstring of his PJs*

[10:35] CG: I d9u6t it w9uld 6e imp9sing.

[10:36] AT: 1 st1ll d1dn't wanna. *mutters*

[10:37] AT: a troll's gotta have h1s pr1de, ok. 1t's noth1ng personal.

[10:37] CG: *He wants to STAY mad. But god this entire block was such a mess it was driving him crazy just being in it. So. While still being ANGRY, Kankri plucked the can plus any more trash items on the table and gathered them in his arms before searching around the room.* Where is y9ur trash recepticle.

[10:38] CG: I'm n9t damaging y9ur pride if I'm rudely clearing 9ff y9ur ta6le with9ut y9ur permisi9n s9 y9u sh9uld have n9 pr96lem in directing me t9 it.

[10:38] AT: *stops staring at the ground and stares up at him instead* ...by the tv.

[10:45] CG: *He is pretending not to notice the stare, and instead silently goes to dump everything in his arms into the trash can by the tv. He then sets to picking up anything else that isn't completely vile or is dirty laundry. So mostly cans, and empty but fairly clean containers.*

[10:45] CG: *Kankri is also completely silent during this time, and is impossibly focused on his task.*

[10:46] AT: *something about this display is really irritating and he can't explain what. He just sighs. Very carefully.*

[10:46] AT: 1 d1dn't ask you to help me, dogg. 1 prom1se, 1 got 1t covered.

[10:49] CG: I kn9w y9u didn't ask me. *He goes to dump another small armfull of mess into the trash* 6ut I d9 have my d9u6ts that y9u actually d9 have any 9f this *gestures to the messy block* c9vered.

[10:50] AT: not really for you to dec1de.

[10:50] AT: anyway... 1 th1nk 1'd rather talk about resolv1ng our 1ssues. *says in a curt tone, glancing off*

[10:51] CG: Perhaps n9t, 6ut if y9u have issue with any 9f these empty 6everage cans g9ing in the trash y9u 9nly have t9 say s9- *He pauses when Rufioh glances off, but still remains with his back turned slight to the other.* ......

[10:52] AT: so where'd you wanna start. *He trusts that Kankri was the man with the plan.*

[10:53] CG: I just want t9 kn9w... what s9rt 9f issue y9u seem t9 have with me. *He slowly returns to gather trash and organzing as he talks. Its getting dangerously close to talk about his own feelings, and his confidence is wavering a little because of that.*

[10:53] CG: It was my understanding that we were fairly alright as far as friends g9 f9r s9me time.

[10:54] CG: 6ut... N9w I am starting t9 w9nder if y9u happen t9 h9ld distate f9r my presence.

[10:54] CG: *He makes another garbage toss run* I just want a straight f9ward answer 9f where we stand with each 9ther.

[10:58] AT: yeah, 1 guess. *tracing patterns on his arm pillow. As Kankri speaks further, his fingers tense into the fabric, the frown increasing on his face.* ...what do you mean "where we stand", yo.

[10:58] AT: 1t's not me who dec1ded on how to treat be1ng fr1ends w1th me.

[11:06] CG: *Hes quickly running out of mild trash to collect, and he isn't so desprate to drop to picking up dirty socks or stale food just because he wants to avoid a topic, so without any clear garbage in sight, Kankri has no choice but to turn to face Rufioh again and make uncomfortable eye contact.* What I mean is d9 y9u even want t9 6e my friend anym9re. 6ecause I feel like any attempt I have made t9 en

[11:06] CG: c9urage a gr9wth in 9ur aquaintence has 6een met with either indifference, 9r even disintrest. I have made great attempts t9 try and rectify 9ur relati9nship after 9ur last disagreement, even g9ing s9 far as t9 watch all th9se sh9ws which y9u menti9ned liking, 6ut I still cant help 6ut get the hint that y9u have n9 interest in interacting with me.

[11:07] CG: S9 6asically I just want t9 kn9w if that is true 9r n9t. And if it is then s9 6e and I'll leave y9u al9ne and y9u d9n't have t9 thr9w mud 9r c9nfecti9nary deserts at me anym9re.

[11:22] AT: *He listens to this with increasing incredulity, the disbelief growing more and more apparent on his face. It's a lot harder to contain his anger then and so he replies with a harsh tone of voice.* you th1nk 1t's ME who doesn't wanna be fr1ends, dude??

[11:22] AT: 1t was never me who started th1s! you know what started th1s?

[11:22] AT: 1t was you kanks. 1t was you say1ng pla1n as the fuck1ng p1nk moon that you had no respect for me. that you were just HUMOR1NG me try1ng to talk th1ngs out w1th you. how the fuck do you th1nk that made me feel???

[11:23] AT: when all 1 wanted was a homeboy 1 could rely on. someone who would treat me l1ke hey. maybe th1s person matters.

[11:23] AT: 1 WANTED to be there for you back then. but what the hell d1d you say?

[11:24] AT: 1 m1ght as well be nobody to you. *finishes with a hiss and a hand clutched tightly into his pillow*

[11:45] CG: *He was rather taken aback by Rufioh's harsh outburst. Alright, he had been expecting some sort of reaction but an aloof one. Not ... not whatever this was. For a few good moments Kankri was left fishing for words as he tried to put back together his original defense.* I... I never said y9u were n969dy t9 me! Where w9uld y9u even get such a n9ti9n!! And at what p9int did I st9p 6eing relya6le?? 6ecause in all h9nesty it was me wh9 st9pped acting friendly 9r started 6rushing 9ff any attempt at friendliness with a seemingly cal9us aditude! 

When I said I was 9nly hum9ring y9u, yes I meant that, 6ut in the way 6y which I meant that y9u kept trying t9 drive the c9nversati9n d9wn a path we had already traversed and explained c9untless times, which always lead t9 the c9nclusi9n that y9u assume I have n9 aparent 96vi9us em9ti9ns! I was fairly certain I made it quite clear I had n9 need 9r desire t9 c9ntinue t9 listen t9 y9u make j9kes a69ut y9ur decline in well 6eing in previ9us c9nversati9ns 6ut in that m9ment y9u kept g9ing with it s9 yes I "Hum9red" y9u 6ecause I didn't want y9ur meth9d 9f c9ping t9 6e disc9uraged after such a traumatic experience as 6eing IMPRIS9NED in DEPL9RA6LE c9nditi9ns f9r seemingly endless weeks t9 the p9int where y9u were H9SPITALIZED. 6ut y9u kn9w what? I guess that is my err9r f9r trying t9 take away y9ur c9ping mechanism t9 try and make myself m9re c9mf9rta6le.

[11:45] CG: *Alright, now it would seem Kankri was heading down a tangent. His tone started lacking his usual straight forward demenor and took on an almost frantic attitude, complete with sudden hand gestures in the air as he continued.* Wh9 am I t9 tell y9u t9 st9p making j9kes a69ut y9ur 9wn m9rtality, 9r h9w it c9uld get w9rse, and h9w terri6le 9f me t9 take actual issue with y9u making all s9rt 9f unc9mf9rta6le false flirtati9ns when I have made it undenia6ly clear that I d9n't want anything t9 d9 with that s9rt 9f thing????? I mean f9r crying 9ut l9ud y9u equated me t9 y9ur vanishing ex-m9irail 9n the first day I MET y9u, and then pr9ceeded t9 make hum9r 9f piling and 9ther r9mantic gestures! 

6ut I went al9ng with it 6ecause deep d9wn f9r s9me reas9n I did respect y9u f9r what y9u did 9n 6ef9rus, and what y9u've 6een thr9ugh since. And I felt 6ad f9r y9u after y9ur lusus passed 6ecause I can't imagine what it must have 6een t9 experience that 6ecause I'VE never had a n9rmal up6ringing myself the way any tr9ll sh9uld have, 6ut n9w y9u've g9ne d9wn such a vastly different path that either y9uve bec9me an entirely different tr9ll 9r I just had the wr9ng view 9f y9u this wh9le time. Which is it?? I'm n9t quite sure 6ecause talking t9 y9u m9re 9nly seems t9 make things w9rse, and then when I d9n't talk t9 y9u in attempts t9 give time t9 neutralize the situati9n y9u message me in the redicul9us h9urs 9f G9D kn9ws when t9 tell me h9w much y9u hate y9urself, just s9 that I can make s9me sem6alence 9f trying t9 help 6ef9re pr9mptly 6eing t9ld t9 6asically "fuck 9ff!" And excuse my language 6ut that is exactly what it was and h9w was I supp9sed t9 d9 anything with the inf9rmati9n in the time y9u gave me 6ef9re vanishing again?? 

What was y9ur purp9se 9r m9tive in d9ing that???!? What has any 9f y9ur m9tive 6een in all the teasing and the digging and the angsting and the dumping t9 the p9int where I'm left sitting at my c9mputer screen 9r staring as y9u st9rm 9ff w9ndering what actually just happened!?!?!? *By the end of all of this, Kankri looks very winded. In fact he was actually breathing more heavily then he had been earlier, and his face was tinging red.*

[11:58] AT: maybe that's just 1t!!! *Kankri's tone can only be matched as Rufioh's temper rises too. Except he doesn't have the advantage of standing for this.* you don't KNOW me and you don't PRESUME to fuck1ng know me and hell????

[11:58] AT: why's 1t when 1 show my REAL colors, how 1 FEEL when people tell me what 1 can and can't do, 1'm suddenly the bad guy???? maybe 1've ALWAYS been an asshole and nobody's SEEN 1T CUZ THEY ONLY SEE WHAT THEY WANNA SEE ABOUT ME.

[11:58] AT: 1 DON'T GOTTA EXPLA1N MYSELF TO YOU JUST L1KE YOU DON'T GOTTA EXPLA1N JACK SH1T TO ME.

[11:58] AT: that's how th1s th1ng fuck1ng WORKS. bro.

[12:02] CG: 6ecause may6e is it t99 hard t9 6elieve that y9u aren't 9nly JUST a terri6le pers9n!?!? 6ut perhaps 9nce again I'm just s9 far 9ff 6ase and y9u really are this h9rri6le tw9 dimensi9nal tr9ll wh9 has n9 c9ncern f9r h9w they make 9thers feel fr9m what they say s9 l9ng as they can say it and have the freed9m t9!! Perhaps may6e thats REALLY why y9ur m9irail just left at the dr9p 9f a hat, 6ecause they

[12:02] CG: came t9 the stunning realizati9n that y9u seem t9 pr9ject at every9ne y9u get near, which is that y9u aren't exactly a nice pers9n at all, Rufi9h Nitram!!!! *Oh. Oh okay. Maybe... shouting that was going a bit too far.*

[12:08] AT: *It was too far. He can feel the words tearing at his insides but what's more harm to a bloodpusher when it was already broken? Just add it to the pile. He has to be the one to break the eye contact.* ...you don't even know what you're talk1ng about.

[12:09] CG: *Part of Kankri really wants to apologize, being able to tell that he had crossed the line when Rufioh looks away. But that would prove to be too difficult for his ego.*

[12:10] CG: *He instead reigns in his arms and crosses them tightly over his chest.* All I am talking a69ut is what I have happened t9 96serve fr9m 9ur interacti9ns.

[12:11] AT: 1 know. *answers him all too quickly, eyes stlll dropped*

[12:12] CG: *He lets it get uncomfortably quiet. Waiting it out to see if Rufioh might say anything else during that expanse of time. Something to keep the fight going. Something to distract him. Something to just make him feel any less shitty then he is quickly spiraling into.*

[12:13] CG: ....

[12:14] AT: *Waiting for him to talk isn't gonna help anything. Promise.* ...1 don't see.

[12:15] AT: the po1nt to any of th1s.

[12:15] CG: T9 us talking.

[12:15] CG: *?))

[12:15] AT: why you even care.

[12:16] AT: 1 don't anymore.

[12:16] CG: 6ecause it is my j96 as a ship c9uncel9r t9 care a69ut y9ur em9ti9nal and mental well 6eing.

[12:16] CG: And it was als9 my j96 as y9ur friend.

[12:17] CG: 6ut.

[12:17] CG: I think.

[12:17] CG: I think I'm starting t9 c9me t9 my whits end a69ut all 9f this Rufi9h.

[12:18] CG: If y9u d9n't care, and c9ntinue 9n emphasizing that p9int t9 all extremes, then I am struggling t9 find reas9n t9 c9ntinue 9n trying t9 f9rce y9u t9 see 9therwise.

[12:18] AT: so forget about 1t. you can drop 1t easy.

[12:19] AT: 1t's not hard.

[12:19] AT: *tone and his expression is flat*

[12:20] CG: *Meanwhile Kankri's is the exact oposite, his voice is hinging on uneven, and his expression is twisted to suit his range of upset emotions.* If y9u are a6s9lutely feeling that way. Then fine.

[12:21] CG: *He fishes through his sylladex for a moment, and when he is done he steps over to deposite a stack of books on the mostly cleared off table in front of Rufioh.*

[12:22] CG: Here is the series that I 69rr9wed fr9m y9u 6ack. I didn't quite finish, 6ut I d9n't find myself minding that much.

[12:23] CG: Y9ur 6l9ck is still miles away fr9m what it sh9uld 6e, 6ut at least n9w even if y9u d9n't get s9me9ne t9 help y9u clean it then I d9u6t y9u will 6e la6led as a health hazard t9 y9urself any time s99n.

[12:23] CG: *Kankri then proceeds to turn on his heel and head towards the door.*

[12:26] AT: *stares at the books as if he can't really process them being there. Everything about him felt closed off, inside and out. If he couldn't feel it then it wasn't there. It was the only thing he could tell himself when everything underneath felt fucked up and torn to pieces.*

[12:26] AT: *in the end, all he was... was alone.*

[circuitousgrievance]

-- aerugoTourbillon [AT] began trolling circuitousGrievance [CG] at 00:09 --

[12:09] AT: hey.

[12:10] CG: Hell9 Rufi9h.

[12:10] CG: What can I d9 f9r y9u?

[12:10] AT: d*mn... d1dn't th1nk 1 needed a reason to message you, dogg.

[12:10] AT: my m1stake.

[12:12] CG: 9h! I am s9rry I didn't mean t9 make it seem as th9ugh y9u c9uldn't message me with9ut a reas9n, I just assumed that perhaps y9u were c9ntacting me f9r a specific purp9se.

[12:12] CG: Like f9r instance, asking me t9 return y9ur 699ks.

[12:12] AT: oh. nah. you can keep em as long as you l1ke.

[12:12] AT: 1 got d1g1tal cop1es.

[12:14] CG: Thank y9u, I am making a decent reading pace s9 far, h9pefully I will 6e finishing them 6ef9re t99 l9ng.

[12:15] CG: H9w have y9u 6een? I 6elieve I sp9tted y9u at the human uni9n cerem9ny, 6ut I didn't get a chance t9 say hell9.

[12:21] AT: me ne1ther.

[12:21] AT: all 1 remember 1s gett1ng really smashed, haha.

[12:21] CG: I see.

[12:22] CG: I 6elieve the last cele6rati9n event we 69th attended y9u als9 did the same thing.

[12:22] AT: dude... 1 don't even remember what that was last t1me.

[12:23] CG: If I am remem6ering c9rrectly myself it was the hall9ween party.

[12:27] AT: d*mn... that really was a long t1me ago.

[12:27] AT: but yeah. 1 can bel1eve 1t. lmao.

[12:29] CG: I supp9se it was, wasn't it.

[12:29] CG: We really d9nt seem t9 see that much 9f each 9ther.

[12:33] AT: can't be for a lack of try1ng, bro.

[12:34] AT: we all got sh*t on our plates we gotta sort through.

[12:36] CG: 9f c9urse, yes. Things have 6een rather fast paced, and even cl9se t9 fairly hectic at times.

[12:36] AT: better than sh*t not happen1ng at all.

[12:37] CG: Well, I supp9se that is true. Alth9ugh if n9thing were g9ing 9n then there w9uld als9 6e n9 negative things happening either.

[12:37] CG: H9wever there w9uld 6e n9 g99d happenings as well.

[12:37] CG: S9 the way events have 6een carrying 9n have 6een 9ptimal.

[12:38] AT: yeah... stra1ght up.

[12:38] AT: 1 gotta say, 1t's k1nd of bad*ss be1ng able to turn any top1c 1nto someth1ng to talk about, dude.

[12:38] AT: even when 1t's noth1ng.

[12:38] AT: we're l1terally talk1ng about noth1ng.

[12:40] CG: Hm?

[12:40] CG: I am a little c9nfused, it was n9t my understanding that we were c9nversing a69ut n9thing, 6ut rather the passing 9f events and making small talk.

[12:55] AT: maybe they're words but they don't really have a mean1ng.

[12:56] CG: 6ut d9n't all w9rds have s9me s9rt 9f meaning? I d9n't usually say s9mething f9r n9 reas9n.

[01:01] AT: man... never m1nd.

[01:01] AT: let's just talk about someth1ng else.

[01:01] CG: Well. Alright then.

[01:01] CG: What w9uld y9u like t9 talk a69ut?

[01:01] AT: anyth1ng.

[01:02] AT: what were you do1ng r1ght now.

[01:03] CG: I was preparing t9 head t9 c99n 6ef9re y9u messaged me actually, h9wever I was attempting t9 delay d9ing s9 anyways incase y9u were w9rried y9u were keeping me up.

[01:06] AT: 1'm not really worr1ed.

[01:06] AT: 1 f1gured you would talk to me as long as 1 was up for 1t.

[01:06] AT: cuz that's what fr1ends do.

[01:06] CG: Yes a6s9lutely!

[01:07] CG: I w9uld and will always d9 my 6est t9 6e ar9und whenever y9u wish t9 talk t9 me, Rufi9h.

[01:07] AT: yeah.

[01:07] AT: same here, kanks.

[01:07] CG: Why thank y9u.

[01:08] CG: That is very kind, Rufi9h.

[01:08] AT: maybe... 1 don't really see why 1t 1s.

[01:09] AT: 1t's just common godd*mn courtesy.

[01:09] AT: or 1t should be, anyway.

[01:10] CG: 9h.

[01:10] CG: Well.

[01:10] CG: I still will thank y9u f9r it anyways.

[01:11] AT: we're fr1ends, man. you shouldn't have to thank me for 1t.

[01:16] CG: W9uld y9u like f9r me t9 st9p thanking y9u f9r it in the future? I supp9se I am just acust9med t9 replying as such in 9rder t9 make sure my appreciati9n is kn9wn.

[01:17] AT: no, 1 just... don't see why 1t has to be sa1d.

[01:17] AT: 1t's we1rd, man. 1t doesn't... yeah.

[01:17] AT: 1dk.

[01:18] CG: I will refrain fr9m saying it again if it 69thers y9u.

[01:18] AT: no, man... 1t doesn't bother me.

[01:19] CG: 6ut y9u just said that y9u 6elieve it t9 6e a weird thing t9 say, and d9 n9t think I sh9uld say it.

[01:19] CG: Are y9u sure it d9esn't 69ther y9u at all?

[01:20] AT: 1 just don't th1nk you should say thanks to trolls for be1ng f*ck1ng decent.

[01:20] AT: 1 mean 1t's n1ce but... 1t's not why 1'm do1ng 1t.

[01:20] AT: so 1 can get a thanks or whatever.

[01:23] CG: I didn't think that y9u were d9ing it f9r the single purp9se 9f getting praise. I guess I really sh9uld have phrased my sentence differently then.

[01:24] CG: What a69ut instead 9f thanking y9u, I let y9u kn9w that I appreciate y9ur friendship and y9ur willingness t9 6e 9pen with me and als9 appreciate h9w we are a6le t9 freely c9municate with each 9ther.

[01:25] AT: 1... guess????

[01:25] AT: 1 don't want to have to ask for that though, god d*mn.

[01:26] AT: man, 1 just...

[01:26] AT: 1 th1nk 1 need to get the f*ck out of dodge, kankr1.

[01:27] CG: What?

[01:27] CG: S9rry I am a little c9nfused. Why d9 y9u feel the need t9 d9 s9?

[01:28] AT: cuz 1'm f*ck1ng m1serable.

[01:30] CG: I d9n't kn9w if I wasn't picking up 9n s9me cue, 6ut I feel as th9ugh this c9nversati9n has taken quite the drastic turn. I didn't mean t9 upset y9u if it has 6een anything I have d9ne 9r said, and certainly I didn't think that 6y thanking y9u I was g9ing t9 get this s9rt 9f resp9nce, I had n9 idea y9u felt s9 str9ngly a69ut this s9rt 9f thing, 6ut I d9n't kn9w if I can understand it managing t9 p

[01:30] CG: ush 69undries this far.

[01:30] CG: Why are y9u misera6le?

[01:32] AT: 1t's not even you, kankr1. 1 just... am.

[01:32] AT: 1t's just me. 1'm the f*ck up here.

[01:33] AT: 1 mean, 1 don't even l1ke me. why should other people?

[01:33] AT: makes no sense.

[01:34] AT: 1 guess 1t looks l1ke 1t's com1ng out of nowhere but... not actually.

[01:34] CG: Rufi9h y9u are n9t, pard9n my language, a fuck up. And 9ther pe9ple like y9u 6ecause y9u happen t9 6e lika6le.

[01:34] CG: I happen t9 like y9u.

[01:34] CG: And I am quite certain many 9ther pe9ple d9 as well!

[01:35] CG: I d9 n9t kn9w why y9u w9uld find y9ur 9wnself n9t likea6le, 6ust perhaps y9u can trust me when I tell y9u that y9u are.

[01:36] CG: If I can ask, perhaps explain t9 me why y9u d9 n9t like y9urself?

[01:36] AT: man, you say that but...

[01:36] AT: d*mn. never m1nd.

[01:37] CG: 6ut what?

[01:39] AT: 1t's probably best we don't get 1nto th1s, bro.

[01:40] CG: It s9unds a 6it like s9mething y9u may need t9 talk a69ut th9ugh.

[01:45] AT: why.

[01:46] CG: Call it intuit9n, 6ut als9 the things y9u just said quite previ9usly seem rather heavy and negative t9wards y9urself.

[01:47] CG: And if y9u are misera6le 6ecause 9f h9w y9u view y9ur 9wn image, then I really think it is w9rth discussing with s9me9ne.

[01:47] AT: maybe 1 don't care.

[01:47] AT: l1ke actually, deep down. 1 don't care.

[01:48] CG: Well, I s9rt 9f d9 care. Y9u are my friend and theref9r y9ur well 6eing is imp9rtant t9 me.

[01:49] AT: maybe... except for the part where people f*ck me over no matter what 1 do.

[01:49] AT: just a fact of l1fe by now.

[01:49] CG: I d9n't find that t9 6e a very p9sitive view 9f the w9rld.

[01:50] AT: 1 never sa1d 1 d1dn't g1ve a sh*t about them.

[01:50] AT: 1 just don't g1ve a sh*t about me.

[01:50] CG: I didn't say that y9u didn't.

[01:53] AT: so 1 guess there's no po1nt 1n talk1ng about 1t.

[01:53] CG: I feel that there is, 6ut y9u seem fairly c9nvinced that there isn't.

[01:53] CG: 6ut perhaps an9ther time we can talk m9re a69ut all 9f this.

[01:54] AT: yeah.

[01:54] AT: sorry, man.

[01:54] AT: 1'll see you around.

[01:55] CG: Alright, see y9u ar9und Rufi9h.

-- aerugoTourbillon [AT] gave up trolling circuitousGrievance [CG] at 01:55 --

[circuitousgrievance]

-- circuitousGrievance [CG] began trolling aerugoTourbillon [AT] at 22:38 --

[10:38] CG: I w9uld like t9 take up 6ut a m9ment 9f y9ur time t9 express my regret and sincere ap9l9gies f9r 9ur last few, tw9 in c9untining, less then pleasent 9r friendly enc9unters t9gether. I will admit perhaps I was acting a 6it agressive in 9ur 9nline chat, even th9ugh I did express many times h9w y9ur laid 6ack additude regarding what happened t9 a su6stantial p9rti9n 9f the crew was rather 9ff putting

[10:38] CG:  as was y9ur 9wn later disregard f9r y9ur health (6ut we will get t9 that in a m9ment), and that my reacti9ns t9 seeing y9u place y9urself 9utside in less then ideal weather and engage in risky 6ehavi9r with Gamzee after just having suffered f9r several days with a lung issue. M9st 9f my displeasure was n9t entirely directed at y9u, and I am ashamed t9 admit it 6ut, I am afraid I have a certain dislike f9r Gamzee Makara, and s9me 9f that may have leached int9 the m9ment when we were all 9utside. S9 if I was the reas9n y9u left s9 suddenly then I ap9l9gize f9r that as well. Furtherm9re t9 sum up this 9ng9ing sincere, c9untless utterence 9f the phrase "Im s9rry" I w9uld als9 like t9 express my regret f9r taking s9 l9ng t9 actually c9me t9 terms and say it t9 y9u s9 late. Which w9uld 6e several

[10:38] CG: days later t9 6e exact. Its n9t exactly in character 9f me, and I can't say that it didn't take s9me l9aths9me pride swall9wing t9 get me t9 this p9int. 6ut 9nce again, I am s9rry if y9u misinterpreted my attempts at c9ncern 9r my m9ments 9f misplaced displeasure as rude 6ehavi9r directed at y9urself.

[10:41] AT: woah... dude.

[10:41] AT: th1s 1s some rant you got go1ng.

[10:45] CG: It is n9t a rant, it is an ap9l9gy.

[10:45] CG: Direct t9wards y9u.

[10:45] CG: Directed*

[10:47] AT: gett1ng 1t out all at once... yeah, 1 get 1t.

[10:47] AT: a1n't here to judge.

[10:53] CG: Well I wanted t9 pr9perly explain myself.

[11:03] AT: so you swallowed some pr1de, huh.

[11:04] AT: d*mn... now you know 1t's ser1ous, dogg.

[11:05] CG: Yes it is seri9us. And I am still waiting t9 kn9w y9ur decisi9n 9n if y9u accept my ap9l9gy 9r n9t.

[11:07] AT: 1 dunno. depends, 1 guess.

[11:07] AT: are we all about respect1ng each other's boundar1es now or...

[11:10] CG: I wasn't aware I trampled 9ver any 9f y9urs, 6ut I am s9rry f9r d9ing s9 and if y9u c9uld advise me h9w I managed t9 vi9late 9ne 9f y9ur 69undries, it w9uld 6e my a6s9lute pleasure t9 respect and maintain it fr9m n9w 9n.

[11:14] AT: 1 guess 1 could do that.

[11:15] AT: 1dk, bro l1ke... how 1 deal w1th my sh*t 1s my bus1ness.

[11:15] AT: 1 get you're my fr1end and you wanna be a councelor... 1'm not here to stop your dreams or anyth1ng.

[11:16] AT: but c'mon... you can't tell me how to feel. how 1 should be feel1ng or whatever.

[11:16] AT: 1 know what 1'm capable of deal1ng w1th.

[11:16] AT: as long as you get that, 1 don't see why we can't go back to be1ng best bros.

[11:18] CG: Understanda6le. H9wever d9 kn9w that I was 9nly trying t9 d9 my 6est t9 advise y9u fr9m my pr9fessi9nal standing, and with an added c9ncern fr9m a friend p9int 9f view. 6ut if y9u d9 in fact wish f9r me t9 step 6ack, then I supp9se I can manage as much.

[11:18] CG: Y9u are 9ne 9f my friends Rufi9h, I just want t9 ensure that y9u are 9kay. What we all went thr9ugh was n9 small 9rdeal.

[11:19] AT: yeah... 1 know, man.

[11:19] AT: but somet1mes handl1ng a b1g deal 1s eas1er 1f you make 1t smaller 1n your head.

[11:20] AT: a1n't say1ng 1t's the r1ght th1ng to do but, y'know. nobody's got a perfect way of handl1ng sh*t all the t1me.

[11:25] CG: I see.

[11:26] CG: I will d9 my 6est t9 keep that in mind fr9m n9w 9wn, Rufi9h. Thank y9u.

[11:33] AT: hey...

[11:33] AT: we're cool, r1ght?

[11:33] AT: no hard feel1ngs or anyth1ng?

[11:45] CG: There are n9ne 9n my end, s9 as l9ng as y9u feel the same then yes, we are c99l.

[11:45] AT: a1ght...

[11:46] AT: 1 guess 1 just feel bad be1ng the one to be all l1ke... hey, cut your sh*t. you're do1ng th1s and th1s wrong.

[11:46] AT: you know. all that no1se.

[11:55] CG: Well if y9u didn't tell me then things w9uldn't have 6een res9lved. S9 d9 n9t get y9urself t99 d9wn a69ut it.

[11:56] CG: Als9 I supp9se y9u aren't the first t9 6ec9me frustrated with my meth9ds.

[11:57] AT: but you can tell me stuff you're th1nk1ng too, yo... th1s fr1endsh1p street a1n't exactly one way.

[11:57] AT: 1 l1ke know1ng what's on your m1nd too somet1mes.

[11:58] CG: 6ut I th9ught me giving y9u my 9pin9n and input is what sparked 9ur previ9us issue?

[11:59] AT: your op1n1ons aren't the same as your feel1ngs, man.

[12:00] AT: 1f you're hurt or worr1ed just l1ke... say so?

[12:00] AT: 1t's not a b1g deal to me 1f 1t's not for you.

[12:03] CG: Rufi9h trust me when I say that if y9u have ever 9ffended me in any way then I w9uld have t9ld y9u s9.

[12:03] CG: Y9u have n9thing t9 w9rry a69ut 9n that fr9nt.

[12:04] AT: haha... yeah, 1 guess you would.

[12:05] CG: I really am glad we have res9lved all this.

[12:05] AT: but aga1n... say1ng you're offended 1sn't the same as l1ke... be1ng honest why 1t matters at all.

[12:05] AT: you feel me?

[12:06] AT: can't fool me here.

[12:06] CG: 9h. Well 9f c9urse I w9uld tell y9u why I w9uld feel 9ffended.

[12:06] CG: I w9uld tell y9u what y9u did 9r said, 9r even what y9u didn't d9 and h9w it c9uld 6e perceived as an issue.

[12:07] AT: yeah... cuz all you want to do 1s help folks.

[12:07] CG: It w9uldn't 6e very pr9ductive 9f me t9 call attenti9n t9 a pr96lem if I wasn't a6le t9 explain it and educate h9w t9 av9id making the same mistake in the future.

[12:07] CG: And yes, that is true.

[12:08] AT: somet1mes 1t s*cks know1ng 1t's not enough to want to help people.

[12:08] AT: 1dk, man... you get props for com1ng at 1t w1th all log1cs and stuff.

[12:09] AT: but people's feel1ngs aren't a puzzle to solve... m1ne aren't. and yours wouldn't be ne1ther.

[12:12] CG: Well 9f c9urse its n9t en9ugh t9 9nly "Want" t9 help, granted it is an excelent step in the right directi9n, 6ut it is als9 imp9rtant t9 take acti9n in the f9rm 9f 9pen discussi9n 9r even depending 9n the t9pic 9r issue, spreading awareness, h9lding fundraisers, 9r 9ther f9rms 9f passive aid.

[12:13] CG: It is als9 just imp9rtant t9 kn9w when s9mething is 6ey9nd y9ur c9ntr9l. And I have the a6ility t9 admit when there is n9 further way I can help, 9r if there are certain things I cann9t d9.

[12:16] AT: 1t's all about how you approach 1t, 1 guess.

[12:16] AT: you wanna help people on a grand scale, you gotta start small f1rst.

[12:16] AT: f1gure out how to play the game before jump1ng horns f1rst 1nto the b1g leagues.

[12:16] CG: Yes, perfectly well said, Rufi9h.

[12:17] AT: haha... thanks.

[12:18] AT: you worry me too somet1mes, bro. gonna say 1t upfront.

[12:19] CG: I d9??

[12:20] CG: I am actually surprised t9 hear that fr9m y9u. W9uld y9u mind ela69rating 9n h9w I have managed t9 cause y9u any c9ncern?

[12:21] AT: yeah, man.

[12:21] AT: you put yourself at the top of the emot1onal t1er try1ng to look after everyone else and you forget about you.

[12:21] AT: you're try1ng to be a better person 1n all of th1s too, r1ght?

[12:30] CG: It is my duty t9 6e a level headed, clear minded, 9rganized individual. A p9int 9f refference f9r th9se wh9 wish t9 6etter themselves 9r c9nfide in kn9wing safety that I am s9me9ne wh9 is a6le t9 handle the 6urd9n they wish t9 share.

[12:31] CG: And it is n9t hard t9 6e s9.

[12:32] AT: a1ght... see that's someth1ng.

[12:32] AT: yeah you gotta act l1ke you have your sh*t together but from another troll's perspect1ve... know1ng 1t just makes 1t eas1er to relate to you.

[12:34] AT: you a1n't perfect, kankr1 so l1ke... why act l1ke 1t all the t1me?

[12:35] CG: I d9n't have t9 "Act" like I d9. I d9 have it t9gether. Everything is perfectlly squared away t9gether, kept t9gether, and is catag9rized 9rderly in la6led 69xes st9red nicely am9ng each 9ther in the calm envir9nment that is my inner peace, t9gether.

[12:36] AT: okay...

[12:36] AT: that's k1nd of some terr1fy1ng 1magery, yo.

[12:36] CG: N9 its n9t.

[12:37] CG: And y9u are missing the p9int. Which is that I d9 have it t9gether.

[12:37] CG: I am n9t pretending t9 6e anything.

[12:37] CG: I am capa6le 9n my 9wn as an individual.

[12:38] AT: yeah but the way you talk about 1t 1s l1ke... controll1ng as h*ll, bro.

[12:38] AT: k1nda l1ke say1ng 1f you don't have 1t together... then you're not good enough or someth1ng.

[12:38] AT: good enough for people to count on or talk to or ask for help from.

[12:39] AT: honestly... that doesn't make any sense.

[12:40] CG: If I didn't find myself in the sta6le minded c9nditi9n I am, then h9w c9uld I ask 9thers t9 c9nfide in 9r c9me t9 f9r help?

[12:41] AT: cuz then trolls don't feel l1ke they're alone 1n the1r problems.

[12:41] AT: when they're talk1ng to you.

[12:43] CG: 6ut they are n9t! Likely there are many 9thers wh9 share whatever it is that they are struggling with.

[12:43] AT: yeah... but 1t's not them they'd be talk1ng to. 1t's you.

[12:46] CG: I am s9rry Rufi9h, I feel as th9ugh I am missing s9me s9rt 9f p9int y9u are trying t9 get at.

[12:47] AT: look... all 1'm say1ng 1s you hav1ng all these walls up w1th your emot1ons doesn't make 1t easy for trolls to get you l1ke... as a person.

[12:47] AT: espec1ally a person who's here to try help1ng them.

[12:48] AT: they can't relate to you. you're just l1ke th1s... robot or someth1ng.

[12:48] CG: I c9nsider myself a rather 9pen 699k, 6ut I d9n't see why keeping a few pers9nal 69undries up is such a 6ad thing.

[12:49] CG: And d9 y9u really c9nsider me a "r969t" Rufi9h?

[12:49] AT: no. not w1th how 1'm talk1ng to you r1ght now.

[12:50] AT: 1'm just try1ng to get you.

[12:51] CG: S9 y9u are feeling as th9ugh y9u are n9t getting me.

[12:51] AT: 1 wanna get you, yeah.

[12:52] CG: I'm n9t sure h9w I have 6een c9ming acr9ss in a way that has made this c9nfusing f9r y9u. What is it exactly that y9u are trying t9 get a69ut me?

[12:52] AT: 1 wanna know about stuff that bothers you cuz... that's what you do w1th people's problems.

[12:52] AT: you learn from them.

[12:54] CG: 6ut I have t9ld y9u what is 69thering 9r irritating. F9r instance y9ur 9riginal frivil9us and gener9us use 9f swearing.

[12:54] CG: And y9u were a6le t9 take that c9nstructive critisim and gr9w fr9m it.

[12:55] AT: aga1n w1th the log1cs, man.

[12:55] CG: L9gics are imp9rtant.

[12:56] AT: true but maybe 1 went along w1th 1t not cuz 1 wanted to be a better person or whatever.

[12:56] AT: but cuz you're my bro and 1 l1ke you enough to roll w1th the flow.

[12:57] AT: boom... sh*t just got compl1cated.

[12:57] CG: Well I appreciate that then. S9 l9ng as y9u f9und s9meway t9 m9tivate y9urself t9 refrain fr9m swearing then I can live with it.

[12:58] AT: omg... some way.

[12:58] AT: bangarang, kankr1... you're just some way to mot1vate me.

[01:00] CG: If that is what it takes, seeing me and my success as reas9n t9 m9tivate y9urself t9 d9 the same, then s9 6e it.

[01:00] AT: you gotta know how bel1ttl1ng that sounds, bro.

[01:00] CG: Y9u think s9?

[01:01] AT: yeah... k1nda l1ke you're just humor1ng me.

[01:02] CG: Well haven't I 6een this wh9le time since we started talking a69ut h9w I am n9t 6eing em9ti9nal en9ugh?

[01:03] AT: }:/

[01:03] CG: Rufi9h y9ur interest and c9ncern is n9ted, 6ut please trust me when I say I am fine.

[01:03] AT: a1ght... cool.

[01:04] AT: 1 guess th1s was for noth1ng.

[01:04] CG: And if there has 6een any issue with h9w "R969tic" y9u seem t9 think I c9me acr9ss, kn9w that I have yet t9 hear 9f it.

[01:04] CG: Als9 n9, it wasn't f9r n9thing.

[01:05] CG: I n9w kn9w that y9u were w9rried f9r my lack 9f pers9nal expressi9n.

[01:05] AT: and you don't th1nk 1t's for no reason?

[01:05] AT: l1ke 1t's not a real problem you have?

[01:06] AT: maybe 1'm just mak1ng 1t up 1n my head.

[01:06] AT: 1 a1n't as smart or as well f*ck1ng put together as you are.

[01:06] AT: what do 1 know.

[01:06] CG: What?

[01:06] CG: N9 that isn't what I was trying t9 say, Rufi9h.

[01:07] CG: Y9u just d9n't understand my circumstances is all.

[01:07] CG: Which is very understanda6le.

[01:08] CG: Y9u are just as intelligent and I am sure y9u y9urself are rather t9gether.

[01:08] CG: Y9u and I just aren't the same pers9n th9ugh, the n9rmal reacti9ns f9r y9u may n9t 6e the same f9r me.

[01:10] AT: 1'm not say1ng they are.

[01:11] CG: Rufi9h I am getting the impressi9n that y9u may 6e feeling frustrated with 9r angry a69ut this c9ntinued t9pic a69ut h9w I c9pe and interact with certain things. Perhaps we sh9uld deviate.

[01:12] AT: whatever, man.

[01:12] AT: 1 got stuff to do so... 1 guess 1'll talk to you later.

[01:12] CG: 9h.

[01:12] CG: Yes, I will try t9 catch y9u 9n later then.

[01:13] AT: cool.

[01:13] AT: bye.

-- aerugoTourbillon [AT] gave up trolling circuitousGrievance [CG] at 01:13 --