#rushed ending >< i'm so sorry . .

[rosedom]

hey, hey, hey! i don’t know if you’ve done something like this before, but if you did, then you can just ignore it. so, um, insecure virgin ftm kuni, who’s specifically shy about being naked. then reader’s there, comforting him as he fucks the shit out of him, giving him all the pleasure he deserves. we basically give him comfort sex and say reassuring things to him. feel free to not acknowledge this if it isn’t up to your tastes!

it’s my first time requesting here, and i’ve read your works. you’re such a good writer, i swear.

"an unnamed player has invited WANDERER to play . . . my gaze is no threat unto you

✦ㅤㅤ 【 CW 】 dom!top!amab!reader, sub!bottom!ftm!wanderer, vaginal fingering, PIV sex, loss of virginity, reassurance + gratuitous praise, creaming + creampie, alluded aftercare .

A/N : this is so late . . but mmmmm this prompt was simply too sweet for me to pass up forever ><

"do you want to watch, [PLAYER]? press KEEP READING to spectate the match."

You close your eyes, and the shirt comes off; you know, now, that Kunikuzushi is left entirely bare, perched hovering as he is above your lap. It falls to the floor—somewhere—with an audible thud.

“Don’t look.”

You laugh, kind, and theatrically cover your—already closed, thank you—eyes. “I’m not!” 

He sighs. “I just—” he cuts himself off with a groan, arms falling from where they were perched on your shoulders. “Ugh.”

“What izzit, Kuni?” you ask, adjusting yourself so one hand stays firmly covering both of your eyes, letting the other be free to rest on the bare swell of his hip. Your fingers draw soothing circles across his skin. “Talk to me.”

“I—” He tries to scoot off of you, but your hands, quicker than your brain can catch up to them, both shoot out to grab his shoulders, to keep him from moving away; however, it only serves to trip him up, to make him fall into your lap. Your eyes remain shut, even as you feel his heat emanating against your equally bare thighs, your bare cock.

He reaches for your wrist, takes it in shaky hand; and you softly smile. “I’m sorry, Kuni,” you repeat, sincere—because even as you want him, in every way, shape, and form, you want only what he will give: if that means you cannot touch, then that is okay, too. 

“Sorry, sorry—” you stammer, and you try to correct it, to lift him back up, but—you’re running blind, here, and your hands miss the mark, groping down his flanks in pitch darkness. He makes an aborted sound in his throat, loud without your vision to counteract it.

His breath leaves him in a shaky exhale, slow, whistling through his teeth, before he falls limply into you. You can feel the flutter of his open eyes against you, eyelashes brushing your neck, before he squeezes them shut, squeezes out a quiet, “You can look.”

“But—”

“Do it before I change my mind.” 

Since you've reached his hips, finally, you give his soft skin a dutiful squeeze. “I’m not looking until you're absolutely sure, sweetheart.” 

Kuni groans again. “I’m sure,” he says, quietly, belying the way he acts so offended, so impatient. “Just look already.”

You tip your head to the side, eyes still stubbornly closed. You're about to say something else—probably another, Are you sure?—, but Kuni grabs your wrists and forces one hand down between his legs, forces your palm against his warm cunt. Your fingers, helpless to his strong grip, dip, just-so, into the give of his hole.

“Kuni—”

“I-if you won't look,” he mumbles, pressing his hips into your touch, “then you can at least please touch.” (It’s cute, how he thinks he's commanding when your finger is sinking into the first knuckle, his cock swollen against your palm.)

Your eyes flutter open, at that, gentle gaze falling on his flushed embarrassment. You only look at his face, and you shake your one hand out from his in order to cup his ruddy cheeks. “Kuni, baby, you're so pretty.”

“I—”

You cut off his words with a soft kiss, breath hot against his lips. “You're beautiful,” you say, louder, absolutely sure, “and you feel perfect.” Not look, not yet; instead, you only nudge your finger in deeper, slick n’ right to the root, and you delight in his choked off whimper.

(As the physical heft of him is heavy in your grasp, heavy on your palm, so, too, is the mental weight of knowing that this is his first: that you are seeing him, taking him, in a way that nobody has before.

It’d almost be a surprise, really, had you not known him so well.)

When Kuni’s body only melts into you, though, with no sign of resistance, of not wanting this—you finally allow your eyes to drop down, and—and—oh.

Your breath leaves you in a quick exhale, fingers stilled where they’re buried in deep. “You’re—you’re really, really beautiful, Kuni,” you murmur, breathless, and you’re not exaggerating—not at all, because really? Kunikuzushi is the most gorgeous man you have ever set your eyes upon.

He’s all pale, unblemished skin—that is, save for the sweet little birthmark below his eye. Even the mole is as pristine as the rest of him, silky and smooth as the skin of his cheek that your palm rests against. Speaking of his eyes—God. They’re this gorgeous, deep indigo, pretty as the midnight sky, and they’re looking away from you, abash.

“Look at me,” you murmur, the irony not lost on you (after all, was it not him only minutes ago, asking you to look at him?). “Let me look at those pretty eyes while I open you up for me, yeah?”

“Don’t be so crass—” he says, aghast, eyes turning sharply to you; yet for all he gripes, his eyes are molten, the pitch darkness of his pupils swallowing up the twilight of his irises. 

You merely curl your finger, once, to quiet him. “I’ll be as crass as I want, beautiful.” You ease a second, a third finger into him, working him open in gentle motions that make him bite his lip, make him cry out into the scant space between your faces. His hands fall, weakly gripping at your sides in a desperate bid to anchor himself against these new feelings.

Speaking of new: “After all,” you go on to murmur, leaning in close and letting your whispers fall against his pink lips, “it’s your first time. I wanna make this good for you, sweet boy.” You punctuate your words with a gentle stretch, pulling your fingers apart and nudging your fingertips against his g-spot. 

He gasps out, “H-how did—mm—you know?” 

When your pinkie fingers begins to nudge at the edge of his filled hole, a crystalline tear falls from the waterline of his eyes, wide and—is that fear?

“Lucky guess,” you reply, letting your hand slip free of his cunt and kissing away his soft, whimpering mewl. “Is this okay?” Your thumb collects the tear, smearing it away between your flesh as you make it known that you are going at his pace, even while you tease and play it like you're in charge; because for all the power you hold, you would so easily relinquish it back to him. 

(A submissive, a bottom—they hold all the power, like this.

Especially your virgin Kuni.)

But all he settles on is a gruff, “Get on with it.” 

Smiling softly, you nuzzle your noses together, giggling when he kisses you for it. “‘m gonna make you feel so good,” you promise against his lips, kissing him once before you take hold of his hips, “gonna make your first time awesome.” 

And Kuni fucking giggles. 

“Aha!” You smile, wide, even while you lift him and his hand scrabbles to position your cock properly, cockhead kissing his own before it catches on his hole. “Got you to laugh, sweetheart.

Now,” you continue, letting him slip into your cock, inch by inch, “you gonna let me fuck you silly?” 

He nods, desperately, all pretenses lost to the heady stretch of your cock in him. There's a resistance, brief, there-and-gone, before your cock passes through and sinks right in to the hilt. Your balls press against his spread-wide labia, but you’ve hardly the mind to pay attention to your own cock right now—not when Kuni’s nails are biting into your shoulders, now, tears flowing down his cheeks in thick rivulets.

“Kuni—”

“Move,” he interrupts, voice wholly shattered, “move, move—”

And you do. 

“You're so perfect for me,” you murmur, lathering the praise on thick as you guide him, hands controlling his grinds as he rides your cock with all that inexperienced gusto that makes heat throb low in your gut. “You're taking my cock so well, sweet boy, fucking yourself like that—God, Kuni, you're everything.” 

At a shift in the angle of your hips, he moans loudly, your cockhead butting against his g-spot in a way that makes his legs give out. 

“Please,” he cries, indigo bangs plastered to his forehead. “I—I can’t—”

“It's okay.” His eyes go wide as you tip him back, pressing him into the pillows and thrusting in deep, cock hitting new spots and bullying its way ever deeper into him. “It's okay, Kuni, baby, I got you.

“You can.”

He begins to thrash his head side to side on the pillow, overwhelmed with the new sensations wracking his body, of your cock sliding in, out, in, out; but when you reach down to thumb at the hot jut of his cock, he’s a goner. 

“Cumming—!” he cries, pulling you down into him as his cunt creams around you, as he buried his face into your neck and helplessly sucks at your skin. The feeling of his orgasm, of the way he moans so prettily, of the simple knowledge that you were his first (and that you will be his last)—it all sends you toppling over your own edge, cock pulsing as you empty yourself inside him. 

You can feel his heartbeat thrum against you. “Oh, oh, Kuni,” you coo, finally, the two of you finally beginning to calm down, hearts synchronized. “You did perfect.”

He huffs at you, tired eyes looking at you through damp lashes. “I—” he coughs, then: “Thank you.” 

“You don't need to thank me, sweet boy,” you murmur, kissing him softly as your limbs begin to pleasantly ache. “Let me run a bath.” 

“You don’t have to.”

You roll your eyes, fond, slipping out of him with a slick squelch that makes you hiss, forces the air out of his chest. “I want to. C’mon,” you finish, lifting him up beneath his knees (because God knows he'll be too shaky on them should be standing himself) and taking long strides to the bathroom. 

Losing your virginity—it’s not always so cut and dry, so easy, but Kuni is glad to have lost it with you. So as the warm bath water eases his own limbs, he leans back into you with a sigh. “Thank you,” he whispers, hardly audible, always so scared to be forthright in his affection.

You smile, soft, and kiss the wet crown or his head; you say nothing else, but the relaxed heartbeat that Kuni feels thumping against his back is all the response he needs.

He’s glad you looked.

yolo !! and anon, ur words r too kind ;; thank u <333 (‾◡◝)

15 MAY 2024, @rosedom, rosey .

[cecedownbad]

Hold On

Summary: A missing child's case resurfaced so many memories you wished to keep buried. Sure enough, seeking comfort from the heavy feelings came by as a form of a person. [Spencer Reid X Fem!Reader] Part 2.

Warning: Child abduction, death of a child, angst, no Y/N, made up last name: Cyrus, made up case, light fluff, hurt/ comfort, not too romance-y but alluding to it, not proof read, I don't think the mystery/crime aspect is good but let me hear thoughts guys. Something extra in tags, read after the story.

Word Count: 4.1k

Part 1

I'm so sorry this took so long, my exams, mental health, projects, assignments allll just rolled in the past months, and I've been doing everything to stay on top of writing. It's rushed towards the end but with all that's going on I hope it's okay. If anyone is up for part 3, I'm all for it .

Enjoy

"Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to repeat it."

-George Santayana

'Okay, let's see, Conrad Miller, 16 years old, went missing on June 12th, 2007. Last seen by the local church with one of the volunteers, she was questioned once but was never linked as she had a solid alibi, her name was Grace Cyrus.' Tara paused. 'So she took Conrad, no she definitely didn't just take him, poor kid is definitely not okay.'

'Right now Stephen is our priority, the anniversary of Steven's disappearance is in 4 days, so what does she want with him now?' You pace in the room, spinning a pen you grabbed in your hand. 'I think that's something only you can answer, what happened 4 days prior to Steven's disappearance?' Tara pondered, she sat down, looking at you, intent on finding answers. '4 days prior…that was the day my dad— Daniel had come to visit, they, Grace and him got into a fight and Stevie, Steven tried to "protect" Daniel in his own way, he thought Mom was going to hurt him…'

Was it then that this all weighed down on you? Words long lost had started pouring through the cracks of memories locked away. You were never in that station in that moment, no, now you were back there.

'Stevie, get back here! We can't stop them!'

'No! No let go! I don't want Dad to go, Mom's going to send him away!'

'Steven!'

No matter how hard you tried, he slipped from your tensed grasp, landing right between two enraged adults.

Pacing the floor helped gather your thoughts, a little better.

'What was the very last thing she said to you when you left?'

The thought of how it all ended passed through your minds, each time much like a bullet to the brain but you push it all down, now wasn't the right time for you. 'everything okay there?' Tara asked you, it's only been a few minutes since you and Tara confronted the idea that Grace might have done more than anyone could have put together.

'Yeah just a lot going on in my head, I think I need a breather.'

'Hold that thought, JJ and Luke are back with Daniel,'

Your hand now wrapped around the empty coffee mug, a dad you haven't spoken to for the last two decades, what would you have to say? or better yet, what would he say to you? This isn't an official reunion, it's an interrogation and who knows what will spill out of your mouth if you see the very first man in your life that disappointed you, taught you that having a person in your life was enough to make you fall apart.

'JJ and I will go in first, you sit tight.' Tara patted your shoulder giving it a good squeeze before heading out the conference room.

It was soon after that Rossi, Reid and Emily came back in, all three harnessing disappointment with their stride. 'Hey, what happened?'

'Well, Rosa was not in her home, we searched the house and by the looks of it, she hardly came back there.' Emily sat down with her legs crossed. 'but, her room had keepsakes, maybe from the time you lived with her?'

'What did she have?'

'She had pictures, some old folded drawings, and the weirdest one, an old juice box.' as Emily finished, you sat up from your chair, 'an old juice box? Do you remember what flavour?'

'I think it was Apple? Why? Does it have something to do with Steven?'

'…'

'Cyrus?'

'That, uh, it's nothing, I think sentimental feelings do surface no matter what kind of person you are.' You began fidgeting with your sleeves, your mind now slowly began recalling events that transpired long ago. 'Is there something else? It looks like you aren't sure about something.' Rossi eyed your movements, he knew something was keeping you. 'My mother, she'd never show any sign that she felt remorse, not even as far as I could remember.'

'Okay Reid, stay with her, I'm going to check in with JJ and the rest. Rossi? Do you mind?' soon after, Rossi and Emily exited the room, leaving you and Spencer in the conference room. 'Could you tell me what kind of person your mother is?' Spencer sat down right before you, urging you to take a seat right next to him and you did.

'She was an uptight woman, she loved to be in control of her life that meant being in control of mine too, it's why I left. She loved being seen.'

'Being seen? What do you mean?'

'She was always a respected figure no matter where she went, be it at work or in the neighborhood, she pushed for that at home too. When Steven had disappeared, I would always remember how she would tell me he was in a better place, and that if I do anything to disobey her or question her authority, I would be punished.' your head hung as you remembered more, 'I would study, day and night, that was the only life I knew, if my grades dropped by a mark, she'd lock me in my room, made sure I only had books on my desk.'

'Did Daniel ever drop by after what happened to Steven?' Spencer asked gently, 'No, I never saw him after that, I thought he finally got sick of mom and left, but I see now that wasn't the case.'

'Okay—'

'You know the one thing I can't seem to remember though?' you looked up at Spencer, his eyebrows now furrowed in question. 'My mother would always say how beautiful I am, and…and that I look just like her, her very own reflection but, Spencer, I can't…I can't remember her face.' your voice sounded shattered at what came out of it. You felt the tears fall, but you couldn't turn away or hide them, Spencer saw just how much this hurts you.

'You are your own person, no one can ever take that from you, no matter what, you are you.' He held your hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of your palm, that gave you a sign of comfort and you smiled at him. 'Alright, let's get back to the case.' quickly wiping away your tears and pasting on a smile, which you flash at Spencer, he in turn regained a more unmoving figure. 'When you said Rosa knew that Steven would never come back, what did you mean?'

'I was only a kid but to me it felt like she already knew that Steven had maybe...and all I could remember was a frown anytime I even remotely related to Steven.' You return with an answer. It was then the phone on the table went off.

'What is it Garcia?'

'So I dug into Daniel a bit more, and you aren't going to like this, so he was actually never in Bakersfield until a week ago, before that he was working as a cab driver in Nevada. He was in Nevada for a long time, but he touched base sometime in 2007, in the month of June. Looks like he tried several times to contact his ex wife but she never entertained any of it. What is concerning is that he was reported of stalking a young boy, said he mistook the boy for a boy he knew and he meant no harm but he was fired from his workplace and when was that? A little before coming over to Bakersfield.' Once Garcia had informed both of you, it was then JJ, Emily and Luke walked back in.

'What did the boy look like?' Spencer asked, 'I sent his picture to your phone.'

'Thank you Garcia.' You picked up your cell and scrolled through to find the image.

'No problemo.'

Upon quick inspection, you could tell at a glance the young boy and Steven shared a few similarities, nothing too obvious except hair colour and facial structure, age is the more obvious factor.

JJ walked in, arms crossed, she sighed but began asking what Garcia checked in for, 'Looks like Daniel was fired from his work place prior to coming to Bakersfield a week before Stephen's abduction.' You informed the three.

'If I didn't know any better, I'd say that's a trigger for him.' Emily began, 'Yeah, I agree.' and Luke followed suit.

'So he not only gets rejected by his ex-wife, but fired from his work place for stalking a boy that looks like his son, then he goes and kidnaps a boy that Rosa seemingly dotes on? Something doesn't add up.' JJ looked on with confusion. 'How did it go with him?' you asked finally.

'Said he had something vital for the case but he would only discuss it with you.' Emily sat down, her voice already etching with exhaustion. 'He's hiding something and my gut is saying it can't be good.'

'I'll go talk to him.' You were close to leaving the room, but Emily had halted your motions.

'Wait,'

'Yeah?'

'Reid will go with you, Tara might want to step out.' You gave a quick nod to Emily's order.

Every step to the interrogation room, you could hear the pained voices of yours, more precisely, from when you were a child. A young girl, alone in a room with nothing but her thoughts, you swallowed hard as you stood by the entrance of the viewing room. When you entered, you let Spencer call Tara from the interrogation room to the viewing room. 'No matter what, don't give in to his requests, you need to break him down, and if you ever want to leave, you can.' Tara gave you a small nudge and she stayed back in the room.

This was it, you let Spencer lead you into the interrogation room, allowing him to get there before you creeped on behind.

'How many times do I need to tell you people? Can't you bring my daug—you, your—'

'Let me be very clear, you have something vital for this case and I'm willing to hear you out, but say or do anything and you will be escorted out of the door by agents, understood?' the firm voice you let out hid every sorry cry that was wailing in you, having not seen your father for 20 years was a shock but not something that should be seen. 'Look at you, what it's been 15, 20 years, oh my beautiful little angel, I missed you.' honey coated words slipped from his mouth and every cell in you twisted in anger and contempt, 'Mr. Carter, the case.' Spencer stepped in this time.

'Always in such a hurry, well, since you brought my little girl. I know where the kid is being held.' He sat there with no remorse, no care that a child, close to the age of the son he lost years ago, was missing.

'Where might that be?'

'I can take you there, but I'll only go if she goes with me.'

After so long, he cares or at least that's what he's showing but you knew what he was playing at, he thought he could get away light just because his flesh and blood was in the justice system, what a sorry bastard.

'I think we're done here.' Spencer had got up from his chair but you stayed seated, deal or not you wanted to break the man in front of you and that was what was nailing you down to your chair. 'Mr. Carter, what good will it do if I went with you? Was it not enough that you came in here demanding to see your daughter about a case I know damn well you don't care about?' you pressed, choice of words were clearly targeted but your composure remained cool. 'What do you mean, you know what happened to Stevi—'

'Your son that you never bothered to report missing? I don't believe you have a right to bring that up, Sir.'

'Now listen here—'

'In the time Rosa had left you behind, you did nothing but fail to bring yourself together, I have a question for you, what were you doing on June 12th, 2007? Why did you come back to Bakersfield prior to that date?' you swiped through the tablet that Tara handed to you, it contained everything Garcia had found including some case files. 'I don't know why you're asking me that, don't you have the life of a boy to save?' He avoided it with such harshness, you only wanted to pry further but somehow it felt like you knew the answer, but the words never fell into place.

'Answer the question Daniel.' Spencer sat back down now jabbing at him as well. 'I just had someone to meet, is that really so important?'

'Why did you need to meet them? Did you coming back here have anything to do with Rosa Cyrus, your ex-wife?' Your slowly tapped at the desk, it was a timed beat. 'I did visit her once but that—'

'Were you aware that a teenager was reported missing around the same time you arrived here? His name was Conrad Miller, he was 16 years old.'

'W-what? I-I don't know anything about that.'

'Really? Because it says in the case files that Rosa was the last person to have seen Conrad, but you knew that didn't you?' He flinched at the response, at this point he wore a sign that screamed suspicious.

It was then that Daniel remained silent, you believed that any word that came out of him at that point would dig his grave deeper.

You stepped out of the room and walked into the room behind the mirror. 'Now he won't speak,' Rossi now stood there with his arms in his pocket.

'We need to find Rosa and Stephen soon, the man is hiding something and Rosa is the key to finding out why.' Rossi took the words right out of your mouth, looks you both knew what he was playing at.

'I think I can help with that, how much can you guys bet on a gut feeling?' You asked the three of them, weary of their answer, 'At this point? I'll take it.' Rossi let out, the two soon followed. 'Rosa will most likely be at the house we used to live in, which is not in this area, I'm hoping that she's keeping Stephen safe,'

'Safe? How come?' Tara asked you, 'Daniel here, came a week prior to Stephen's abduction, not only did he lose his job before coming here, he needed to have a reason to come here,' you deduce.

'His reason being Rosa? But wouldn't that not trigger Rosa?' Looks like you still needed to elaborate your theory, so you continued. 'It did, Rosa having heard that Daniel came here must have caused her protective instinct to kick in, call me crazy, but I think Rosa is keeping Stephen away from Daniel.' you finally let out a sigh, your palms clammed from sweat but if you were right, the little boy you came here for was safe.

'A mother's protective instinct, I'm guessing that something happened 20 years ago that she didn't agree on, which caused her to completely reject this guy, I'll have Garcia send the address of her prior location.' Rossi curtly exited the room, Tara followed along.

Spencer stood before you in silence, you didn't register any movement from him because all your focus was on the man, sitting on the other side of that glass.

'You can go on ahead, Reid, I need to talk to him.' 

'But I can't let you go in alone...'

You huffed, your eyes did what it could but meet his but looking away won't make what you want go away, 'Given the chance, I might punch the daylights out of him—'

'More of a reason for me to stay.' 

Spencer interrupted, you returned with a sharp look in your eyes before you relaxed, 'Let me finish, I would want to give him a piece of my mind but I need to know, I just, he's the only one that has got to know something about Steven, maybe I can finally put him to rest.' 

It was selfish, that's what you called it, asking for just one more clue when you couldn't do anything before. Maybe now that helpless little girl all those years ago, can see her brother off. 'I need to do this, alone...'

'...' 

You stood there, waiting for something, a sound from him in response, anything at all. 'I'll wait here, being short of another agent will not slow down the rest of the team.' He'd finished but his response ticked you, it poked at the idea of a child being monitored by their parents.

'I don't need you watching my every move, Reid.'

'I'm just following orders.'

'Following orders? Do I look like a child to you? Do I need a leash around my neck too? I can handle him, he's one man!' Your voice raised, and you stared up at your fellow colleague with a ray of contempt.

'A man you can't stand being around for long, you sounded just fine in there earlier to anyone that watched, but do you want to know what I saw? I saw that you were holding back, hard enough your hands curled at his answers, your feet apart was enough for me to know that you would have given Emily a reason for you to be dismissed from the case.' He'd stated what was right, but it wasn't right to you, not right now, you don't know when it would be. 'I'll wait here, you can go in alone.'

Your feet put you in place for a good moment, his words tore right through you. He was right, somewhere in your clouded judgement, you understood he was right, but just because you understood doesn't mean you accepted it.

With a second left to pass, you turned from Spencer. All in silence, it was accepted that you had a job to uphold, no matter the personal toll.

-------------------------------

The dial ups in the station, voices of police officers, movement all around you had become void. Nothing, that's what you heard when you left the interrogation room, you couldn't even hear one Agent calling out to you when you had left. Something gathered, something rotten had formed in your stomach. Your body felt hot, your head on a swivel.

You felt the acid burn at your throat, the half conscious part of you managed to drag your feet to a bathroom stall for you to expel the choux pastry you ingested.

Standing before the mirror now, you washed your mouth, feeling the remnants of the expelled food at your throat.

Nothing felt right to you, not right then, not right now. Having no mind to lose any more time, Reid waited in the conference room as you begrudgingly walked yourself back into it. You said nothing.

You dialed in Emily immediately, hoping she hadn't reached the house yet. 'What have you got for me Cyrus?' 

'I spoke to Daniel.'

'What did he say?'

'He'd been sending frequent messages and calling my mother, they met once, 2007. There was an argument and Conrad had gotten in-between the two of them, it didn't end well.' you informed her, almost mechanically.

'What did he say about Steven?' JJ chimed in.

'Steven was, he said he was never meant to be hurt and Rosa in the mess of things, covered up for him. He told me where...I know where his body is.' Your voice strained, as it got to harsher details.

Nothing came out though, you tried filling in the rest of the details but your voice was overtaken. A pleading look carried over to Spencer and he took over. 'He said that you have to ask where he's sleeping, Rosa's delusion right at this moment is that Steven would come back.'

'Okay, we'll get back to you as soon as we're done here.' The line cut. If you'd carried a boulder on your shoulders, the weight of it might be the same as your conscience. All that was left was you see a family reunited and you get the closure you've been searching for.

------------------------------

The team was back, so was the little boy, he was safe. The Turner family could now go home with their son safe and sound in their grasp.

'Nothing beats seeing that.' you stood, satisfied in a way, the others agreed in unison to your words.

'Cyrus, I need to have a word with you.' Emily called you to a secluded corner of the station, but you had no fear built in you, in fact you felt rather empty, exhausted enough to be emotionally drained. 'We found Steven...' she said quietly.

'Where was he?' you met her in the eyes, having nothing left to tie you down. 'Remains were found in the wall of a small bedroom, it looked like he was initially buried but moved there later.' Every word had struck you, the smaller bedroom was your shared one, no doubt. 'Was he, uh, covered?' a crack sounded in your voice.

It took Emily a moment before answering, 'He was...' 

The last bit of remorse. You'd promised yourself for 20 years that he was found. Part of you wanted him to be alive, maybe he ran off and just found a better life or he was on the streets, alive at least. But you knew how far-fetched that sounded, hope was the one thing you were aware that could end you. '...Thank you, can I, um, I want to be alone.'

'Of course, take all the time you need, listen, once this is over I need to speak with you, but only when you're ready, okay?' She patted the side of your shoulders, adhering to your request, she left you alone.

You let out a wavered breath, trying to breathe in and out to calm yourself. What you needed now was to mourn, you knew that but having a hard cry at this moment would slow down everyone.

Not long after, Rosa and Daniel had gotten arrested. You couldn't catch a glimpse at her face, or more accurately, you refused to see the face you'd forgotten. That didn't bother you that much, as a mother she never cared to look out for you, there wasn't any good reason to remain adherent to the details.

Bakersfield PD would have no more reason to have you stay, for now at least but before you could leave it all behind, Steven deserved a proper burial.

The Funeral was small, no relatives, just few friends from school and the BAU were attending, with Chief Marks as well to pay respects.

You stood over the coffin, looking at how small it was, how it all came to an end, all in silence. Quietly you watched as the coffin was buried, soil tossed over it but before it was over, you had to have one last goodbye.

'I did what I promised, took you long enough to come back from playing, huh? You must be tired, rest well, Stevie.' The Carnation held in your hand had been placed on the coffin, a mark of innocence now put to rest. Once it was all over, you stood, not waiting or expecting anything but just, letting the weight gradually let go of you. This was what you needed yet, it didn't feel enough, something remained in you. 

Footsteps were heard behind you, and you took a peak at the intruder before lifting the corners of your mouth to him. 'He was a handful you know, always wanted my attention no matter what, saying that one day he'd make it to the moon just so he could get me some space rock.' Spencer said nothing to your bouts of reminiscence, 'He told me once, "I'm going to be no.1, so watch me!" I thought he was being silly, Dad left right after and we were alone, it was us against the world.' It all came back, then you knew what you hadn't let go, knew what it was that made you feel utterly at loss. 

'Hey, Spencer, you don't have to do this, but, um, I...' You wanted to ask just for a bit, that little comfort that you so desperately pushed away.

Without another word, he lightly turned to face you. Your mind was too caught up on other memories that when you felt his arms wrap around you, you didn't think for that second. All it took was this to let it all go, no longer in silence but in wailing agony.

He didn't need another word, he simply knew. It was like some crazed superpower of his but it's like he's always known.

He couldn't let go.

Tagging:

@treehouse-mouse

[my-fancy-hat]

Most romance novels follows an scheme of what love should it goes, how people have to meet and follow a certain path and archetypes to correctly fall in or out of love, that what's makes this kind of stories predictable and boring to some people, but what about love that evolves? love that exists despite the desire for romance/selfishness? what about friendship? family? what if we choose to love ourselves too? to love the path we choose? I think that what Ao no Flag is majoritary about, romance as we know in a love triangle it's just the surface the tip of the iceberg of what this story is about, series of choices where we pray for them to make us happy, to make our loved ones happy, because we want to be brave about the things we love.

The four cour characters are put in one of the most troublesome and chaotic times of every person who had access to the system education can experience: final year of high-school, the deadline between childhood and adulthood, to accept reality on how it approaches us, the fear of rejection and failure of what we are of what we do. Many people incluided me had wished to have been more wise, more patient, more accepting yet strong about our chosen path, and that's what Ichinose, Touma and Futaba had to learn and eventually guided them toward their happy end. Not just that, but the experience many queer people had to endure avoiding the social suicide of showing to the world who we are, this ilustrated with Touma and Masumi's characters, and (subtly yet quite importantly) Ichinose. How can I exists in their world if I live like this? will my parents accept me? they will still think about me as someone successful and worth of their last name? will they disown me? hate me? will my best friend who I am in love with reject me in disgust? It's so easy and understandable to succumb to a hatred that you think you deserve, because at the time it was less painful to play along lying to your loved ones about this secret than "revealing the truth", they deserved to know yet you failed, and this loneliness is what you get. If this is how the enviorment wants you to feel, then isn't it expected that the individual would desire for freedom of it? that's what Touma wished for his future to be, not concrete answer more than to exists without regrets.

The desire for romance can be rightfully observed by its selfish nature, to own the right, the demand for them to love us back, but it can be the exercise to accept ourselves as well. Touma wanted to show Taichi his heart without fears, despite if he would love him back or not, in doing so, he would be walking toward the ideal happiness he dreamed of. To openly love is the call for the indifferent cruel world to see in us the desire for goodness, that in this place can exists kindness too.: Touma most than anything, wanted for Ichinose and (by extention) Futaba, to be happy, to share their 1000+ points of best friend power and make everyone happy. That is, the core of love, to wish the best for your dears, and see them smile.

But accepting and not to, can be actually be the same. Masumi had to constantly fight with herself, with the inavility to change what she can't, to live with the fabricated idea of what she is supposed to be and what she is supposed to do, and what other people would react about it. That's why that, even if I have my reservations about her ending, I find it really meta for Masumi end to end up in a het marriage, making us conclude that at some point she gave up on Futaba, but paradoxically, accepted herself and her reality by coming out as bi. Us readers expected and rotted for her to confess to her crush and end up in similar terms like Touma and Taichi did, but this ending make us putting the lesson she learned though her character arc into practice: what people may think or not about our decisions, is their problem, not ours. Life can be so treacky and unfair, but no matter the circunstances, we can still find and make our place. We deserve it.

A friend or a lover, what is the difference if you just want to share our happiness with them?

That's how you humanize your characters, by expossing through them the good, the bad and the absurd, to tell a story in each how the circunstances molds them, but to oppose what damage us is quite a brave thing to do, even if it's our own mind, and that's what Futaba character speaks to me. The desire for wanting to change, to (once again) accept and not-to-accept. She's a weakling, clumsy girl loaded on self-hatred for her unability to live just as the others do. The fear of have reached your maximum potential and there's nothing else for you to do about it, that you born to live like this for the rest of your life. But she sees in Touma an example of hard work and due to her admiration (mistaked at first for a crush), wants to prove herself that life can be something else. To break our self-stablished limits and see what's beyond, to surpass your limits and try to understand what scares you. To be confident enough to think you have the right to live too. Failure reafims the truth that you are better off muted; what bother trying if it will end up in misery anyways? but the beauty of humankind is the unbeatable hope that things will change, to not give up, and without noticing, we'll feel blessed for have born in this time, in this place.

This as a result inspires Taichi's way of viewing life without him realizing too, just as how Touma's pure-lover heart expeled his sincere feelings ever since they started talking again, to the point to even sacrifice his leg and career for Ichinose: How can I exists and make it up for such people like you? what can I do? It's easy to fill your heart with resentment for the things you couldn't live, to feel prideful as consolation for a lonely life you didn't choose, as the left overs. But what we think makes what we are, if you keep on your days thinking you exists for the things you believe you deserve, to live in the imaginary unbreakable rules you made for yourself, then nothing will change. Touma, Futaba and Masumi changed Taichi's life forever, in the driving force of his spirit to pursue a better version of himself, to live driven by the desire for freedom, for love, and not care of what other people may see this choices.

That's why I think the final chapter is such a piece of art that makes the pay off so satisfying. What tortured him when Touma confessed wasn't that his best friend was gay, or that he lied to him about the nature of their friendship (he didn't): it was the though of losing him, so he chose both options at the end (if the analogy can't be more in the face). But as Yorkie said, it part of the course of life to most likely break up with your first gf, more less if they go to different universities, so them going their separate ways wasn't a surprise, but what made me happy about it that they still ended up in good terms and respected each other deeply for what they lived together. The surprise though comes from the actual realize of which POV we're following at the end, that reveals that Taichi had become Touma's husband. This is where I think Ichinose teach to the audience the lesson he learned from his former classmates, where he reaches for Touma above the lines that divides panels, to reach his husband's hand, the hand he shouldn't hold, and walk together toward home: he surpassed his own limits, his barriers and knew where his happiness lied.

A lot of queer people had *the realization* in their 20s (me included as nb), finally giving an explanation of all our past behaviour. I know before-hand most people got shocked for Ichinose to get reveal as bisexual, but isn't the story already gave us an idea this would happen eventually? when Futaba and Ichinose confess to each other, it's Touma's (and Masumi's) heartbreak that it's on spotlight overlaying their conversation, how Taichi and Touma hand-holding is such a central element for the story telling (literally it ends with them holding hands), and much more? Even Futaba suspected it before himself realized years later.

(it happened twice that when Taichi thinks about Touma what crosses his mind is his well-build chest/cleavage area like, ok)

But what makes the different between friendship and love? can a boy and a girl be friends? can a gay boy have male friends? can I be friends of someone I love and viseversa? can I forgive and maitain what we have? The only certainty I have right now, in this moment, is that I love you so much. I'm so happy to have meet you.

This got too long so to grap my final thoughs and make myself more loose right at the end, I'm so happy for have read this story FULL BLIND OMG I was so conviced that no one would end up together lol the only thing I knew of it is that it talked about queer drama and, textually: "had the ending it deserves". It genuinely made my perspective on some things change for the better. I actually loved so much how this story handles with such maturity a pretty much easy-target for comedy and bitter angst (bury your gays) the premise of "bff is gay and in love with the main character since they were kids". Not only that, but not picking sides of "who deserves who" taking leads between Touma vs Futaba, is quite refreshing for the genre: it humanize and treats fairly each member of the cast, giving proper space for them to explain themselves (worth mentioning Mami I loved her character so much you have no idea). Most of the drama in romance comes from missunderstandings or the lack of dialogue, when everything can be solved if the characters can actually sit and talk their feelings and thoughts out! and Ao no Flag is a masterclass on this manner. The explanation, exposition and introspection of every character struggle, the script, monologues, are so compelling and to the bone, I can't choose which interaction of the cast is my favorite. The pay-off is spectacular because we can actually follow each person train of thoughts and choices in which these end up in, with the faith that this path will make themselves and his loved ones happy, because even if we aren't certain about anything we do, we'll still find meaning in the absudity of destiny (or the lack of it?).

[spookyxsprinkles]

Freezer Burn

todoroki touya × gender neutral and poc friendly reader

not safe for work // 6.3k words // AO3. warnings: angst, break up, arguing, crying, touya has an avoidant attachment style, dialogue heavy, poor communication, nipple biting, oral, possessive, fingering, spooky doesn't know how to write.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"Don't be so melodramatic. We weren't even dating," Touya said, taking his keys out of his pocket.

"I--I know but... you know what I mean."

"What do you expect me to say?" He scoffed. "That I'm sorry? 'Cause I'm not. I don't want this."

"Liar."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." He opened the door of your apartment and walked out towards his car.

 "You think I don't know you're pushing me away on purpose?" You follow him out, not caring that you had different shoes on. "As much as you like to pretend you don't care, I know you--"

He interrupted you with an angry laugh, before turning to face you as he reached the sidewalk in front of his car. "You must be delusional if you think you have me all figured out. Don't tell me what I feel. You don't fucking know me."

His car's lights flashed as it unlocked and he opened the door, standing there and glaring at you like if you had spit in his face. Maybe, in his mind, you did.

"I don't need to know every little thing about you to know that you're lying to yourself because you're afraid."

"Afraid of what, huh? Afraid that I'll actually start to care about you as more than just a hole I use to get my rocks off, before ghosting you like all the others that came before? Yeah, you're not special, sweetheart," his hands trembled with fury.

You visibly flinched at his words.

You knew he was right. You were acquainted with him through mutual friends for quite some time before getting physically involved with him. You knew of his non-committal self-sabotaging tendencies. You knew, but it didn't make his words hurt any less.

A flash of guilt flickered in his icy eyes but it disappeared just as soon as it came thanks to the scorching heat of his emotions. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat, trying to keep your voice steady as you spoke quietly with stinging eyes.

"Maybe I'm not special, but at least I can be honest with myself. Which is more than you can say about yourself."

He threw his hands up in the air, laughing. "Real cute coming from you. I'm not the one that's so desperate for attention I start writing sappy love stories in my head. Maybe someday you'll find someone who wants to deal with this shit, but it's not gonna be me."

He moved to get in his car, so you took a few steps forward which was enough to catch his attention and stop him from getting in.

"You were just as lonely and desperate for attention as me when we first met, Touya. You parade around all day acting like you don't care about anything, you can't feel anything, but if that was the case you wouldn't come back. You always come back home."

It was a slip up a few months ago. The two of you were out with some friends at a karaoke room and he said he wanted to go home. You never brought it up to him, but he could tell from the way you nearly choked on your food, that you heard him. Since then, every time he heard the word 'home' he'd think about that moment and regret letting himself drink enough to forget his common fucking sense.

And now you had acknowledged that it was a real moment that actually happened when he'd much rather shove the memory away and pretend it was something someone else said. Someone not him.

You stood a few feet in front of him, sniffling and staring down at the tires of his car that he had taught you how to change and fill with air without you asking him to.

"You're the most stubborn person I've ever met. You never do anything you don't want to do, but you kept coming back." You wiped your nose, ignoring the feeling of the hot tears spilling down your cheeks. "Even now, you're still standing here, talking with me instead of leaving. If you didn't care, you would have already left."

He froze as if you had pushed the pause button on his anger. He stared at you intensely. The only sounds breaking the silence was a dog barking at sirens in the distance and your sniffles.

He hated that you were right.

"So what?"

He got in his car, slamming the door in anger and started the engine.

He buckled his seat belt and turned in his seat to look through the rear window as he slowly backed out of the parking space.

You panicked, suddenly shoving your upper body inside his open window.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" He hit the breaks immediately, causing you to flail as you lost your balance and he swiftly grabbed your arms to keep you from slipping and busting your head on asphalt.

"W--We haven't finished talking..!" You gasped, feeling your heartbeat pounding in your chest. "If you leave now, you'll only feel worse later!"

He simply stared at you in disbelief. His mind was screaming at him to get the hell out of there. The only thing stopping him from flooring the gas pedal was the fact that your legs still dangled helplessly outside of the car as you struggled to get inside.

You looked ridiculously stupid as you clung to the window with a tear streaked face. You also seemed so determined…

"Get out of my car," he snapped. "Right now."

He released a hand from you and moved it towards the handle of the door, but you caught his wrist with your hands.

"No," you said as firmly as your grip on his wrist.

His eyes watched as you continued to struggle to balance your body on the door comfortably. He had no idea what your endgame was here.

"You're fucking crazy."

"I love you, Touya," you gasped out. "I'm in love with you and I know you're afraid. I know you've been hurt before. I know you hate everything that's happening right now, but I can't let you leave like this." You tried wiping your eye by rubbing it against your shoulder, before looking back at him.

"I won't force you to stay with me and I won't force you to share things you don't want to share, but I also won't let you run away without us properly talking things through. If we're gonna break up then I don't want to let it end with that as one of our regrets."

He hated that you weren't giving up on him so easily.

Touya stared at you as you spoke. You were so calm and reasonable in spite of the ridiculous position you were in. There was no anger or irritation in your voice, just sincerity and...

He let out a deep breath in an attempt to stay calm.

"That's very big of you," he said defensively. He was always so defensive. "Trust me, it's better this way."

Your eyes studied his face before you decide to take the plunge and vocalize the thoughts that had been swimming around in your head recently. "Is it better or is it just the easiest way to avoid your feelings of inadequacy and fear of rejection?"

You watched as his eyes widened a minuscule amount that likely would've gone unnoticed if you hadn't known him for so long. You could feel the flames of his rage from the way his face contorted, his mouth opening to set you ablaze.

Your hands slipped down from his wrist to hold his hand gently in yours, your thumbs resting on the back of his hand.

Your grip was loose. He could easily pulled himself free if he wanted to.

But he didn't.

And that's all you needed.

"I've seen you be blunt beyond the point of just being rude to others and to yourself. You have standards that make it easy for you to look down on those who don't meet them yet even the ones that do fit them get pushed away. You easily say whatever's on your mind, unless what's on your mind risks leaving you vulnerable."

Your thumbs delicately drew circles into the dark marks on the back of his hand that were uniquely his. A sad smile marred your face as you continued to speak.

"I'm always watching you, always listening." Your eyes looked up into his, persevering through his gaze that scorched anything he deemed a threat. "You'd rather be alone than feel alone."

He was speechless as he watched you speak. You read him like an open book. A book he routinely burned whenever someone poked and prodded in a pathetic attempt to get closer to him. How had he let his fire get extinguished so easily? How did it not burn you like it did everyone else?

Like it burned him.

Even he was unable to escape his own flames unscathed.

The fantasy that played in his mind's eye was one where you patiently stood before him as the smoke cleared. His eyes stung and his breathing hitched at the thought.

He sighed deeply, looking more tired than you'd ever seen him before.

"I was serious," his words and tone contrasting with the heavy look he carried on his face. "You're wasting your time if you expect me to tell me what you wanna hear."

You shook your head, "I'm not asking you to say it back. I don't need words when your actions mean more to me." I bring his knuckles to my lips, pressing a soft kiss before looking into his eyes, "Besides, if it's time you're worried about, I wouldn't mind wasting it together."

His entire body reflexively ached to leave at the display of vulnerability, yet he couldn't tear his eyes away from you.

Words escaped him as he stared back into your eyes with a confusing mix of fear and hope swirling in his icy blues.

He swallowed hard and finally spoke, "So, all this time," he started as he gathered his bearings, "you've been watching me like some kind of weirdo?"

"Of course," you laughed softly. The movement set a jolt of pain to your abdomen that reminded you of your current position. "Can we go back inside and talk? My stomach hurts from hanging out in your car like this..."

You hissed as you tried to remove yourself from the car. It was definitely gonna leave a mark. He waited until you moved back to the sidewalk before he parked and got out.

"I didn't tell you to jump through the window like a maniac. Seriously, what's wrong with you?"

"Desperate times call for--"

"Dumb ass fucking measures?"

"Yes, precisely. Glad we're on the same page."

He rolled his eyes as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, walking back to the apartment. "Masochist."

"Sadist."

"You know the door was unlocked, right? I was gonna show you 'til you started manhandling me."

"Never let them know your next move."

"So, just dangle like an idiot and hope you don't get run over?"

"I'll admit I'm not good under pressure."

He snorted as you opened the door. He just realized you had chased him out in different shoes. Desperate times, indeed.

"Anyways," you continued as you shut the door behind you and removed your shoes, "You liked it. Thought it was super cool and hot when I was flailing around like an idiot."

"Yeah," he said genuinely, catching you off guard and nearly causing you to trip over the entryway step, but you caught yourself against his arm.

You looked up at him with hopeful eyes. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he repeated sincerely, his eyes staying on yours. "I did."

You swallowed, feeling your eyes prickle with tears as your mouth gaped at him.

He pinched your cheek.

"C'mon," he said as he walked away from you and further into your home to take a seat on the couch. "Let's do this talking thing. We can watch a movie after or whatever..."

You couldn't see his face as he walked away but you could hear his uncharacteristically breathy inflection and stiff tone when he spoke. Was he feeling nervous? Shy..?

The fact that he was the one trying to get the conversation started rather than avoiding it made your chest bloom with warmth. You had expected him to come up with other things to do first in order to put off the awkward and uncomfortable feelings for a bit longer.

You hopped over to him with a blindingly bright grin, sitting near him on the couch to give him some space for this conversation. However, he pulled your body closer to his so that your sides were pressed up against each other. He wrapped an arm around you while you leaned against his chest.

"So..." he started and you could hear something akin to timidity in his tone so you hugged him, letting your hands affectionately stroke his sides. "I'm shit at feelings."

You wanted to laugh at his blunt word choice but didn't want to come off as mocking and discourage him from speaking. "You are not shit at feelings. You seem to feel things quite strongly. We just need to work on helping you feel more comfortable with letting them out in a healthy way, rather than boxing them up and defaulting to avoidance."

"So, I'm shit at feelings."

"If you say that one more time I am going to bite you."

"I'm shit at-- what the fuck!"

"You were warned."

"My fucking tit--"

"Not my fault it's so chewy."

"I'm shit at-- don't you bite me you fucking animal. Hear me out." He had pinched your cheek again to stop your open mouth from it's impending attack. "I'm shit at this. I know. Don't… laugh at me."

Your eyes softened and you brought your hand up to cup the one he had squeezing your cheek. He released his hold on your skin but you kept it held as you let it slide down to your lap.

"It might feel a bit awkward for you but I promise I won't think less of you for sharing your feelings. I appreciate that you've been trying."

"'Been trying?' I've done jack shit."

"No, you have done 'shit'." You reassured him as your fingers drew circles into the skin of his hand. "You came inside--"

"I always come inside," he smirked.

You bit him again.

"What? No complaint for me this time, Touya?"

"I deserved it."

"Masochist."

"Sadist."

Your lips pursed for a moment as you tried to remember where you were.

"Ah, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," you glared at him playfully, "You've already shown me that you're trying. You came back inside, initiated our talking time, and you're participating, too. I know emotional stuff feels hard, but I'm really, really proud of you."

He let out a 'tch' in jest, before leaning down to whisper into the side of your head. "In case you forgot, I also listened to you while you tried playing leap frog on my car."

"Very true, but I didn't forget. I didn't want to include it since I was practically holding you hostage at the time."

"Hostage?" He laughed haughtily, "If I really wanted to leave you I would've ran you over."

"Why is that strangely sweet..."

"'Cause you're a damn masochist. Get help."

"This, coming from the sadist..." The room was quiet as I rubbed his chest lightly with one hand. "I was really scared you were going to leave earlier, Touya. Like, for good."

He clenched his jaw but didn't say anything, opting to listen since he knew she probably had more to say on the matter. And she did.

"I was afraid that I scared you off by talking about-- about whatever menial domestic thing it was we were talking about before. I can't even remember what it was." You clutched his shirt without thinking as you struggled to remember what could've been the catalyst to losing the person you loved.

"Toilet paper," he stated after a pause. "You read about some sale at the store and were talking about how we should go before the weekend so we could stock up. Then you mentioned wanting to buy me strawberry ice cream."

Silence.

"It all sounded so permanent, so easy to you." You could feel his body tense as he struggled to force himself to speak. "Seeing a future where we go grocery shopping for toilet paper and you buying me something. Something that'll sit in the freezer waiting for me even when I'm not around. Something just for me." His last words were barely a whisper.

Your mouth felt dry, it made sense. He had a hard time staying in one place for too long if it felt like he was being smothered or expected to do things he didn't want to do. Your apartment was no exception, even if he clearly spent more time here than any other place.

"Yeah, you're not special, sweetheart."

You felt a cold ache in your chest at the thought of his angry words from earlier.

You told yourself they were just that, angry words. If they were true, would he have bothered to come back at all? No. You knew Touya was good at lying and even better at emotional warfare. It's how he protected himself. He hadn't done it to you since before the two of you were friends, back when you were just another random person trying too hard to get to know him. Today was the first time in years he had said something that caused you to feel bad about yourself.

You would need to talk about it with him later. Right now you wanted to hear him out, so you shove the memory away for now. You can worry about it later.

As painful as it was to hear him speak of his troubles with having a place to call home, you were grateful to him for really trying. Really, it was incredible just how far he's come already. You always knew he was a fast learner if he wanted to be and this meant so much to you. He had never let himself get this vulnerable with you before.

You wanted to tell him something in response but why did it have to be now, of all times, that you couldn't find the words to speak?

You forced yourself to swallow and nodded at him in encouragement. You didn't want to cry and risk him getting cold feet about the feelings thing. You didn't want him to think this was a mistake and that you couldn't handle the truth, because you could, you just felt deeply for the inner conflicts that took place inside of his head. His fears, his happiness, his efforts... it all meant the world to you and it was really getting to you.

You quietly cleared your throat and with a hoarse voice said, "I can see how that would have caused you to react the w-way that you did."

You mentally cursed yourself for the way your voice broke pathetically mid-sentence. "Sorry about that." And you were. You knew he got flighty over things like that but in the moment I just wasn't thinking.

"Hey, don't wimp out on me now." He pinched at your cheek again. "If I'm gonna bare my damn soul or whatever the hell, you sure as shit better not hold out on me. If you gotta get weepy, then get weepy. I'll save the laughing for later."

Your lips trembled at his words and you can feel your face crumple as you bury it into his chest and wept.

"I was so scared I lost you, Touya."

He stared down at you, committing the sight to memory.

His carelessness did this.

He pulled you in closer to him and placed his cheek on the crown of your head. A little while later you calmed down, sniffling and apologizing for accidentally turning his shirt into a tissue.

"Sorry, this is really embarrassing," you sniffled out with a stuffy nose.

He took in the sight of your puffy eyes and runny nose, before looking away. "S'whatever. I know you, too, you know. That thing you said earlier? About you always watching and listening? I do the same shit with you. If being a crybaby helps, then do it unless you wanna be shit at feelings, too."

Sniffle. "We're both not the best at handling our own feelings, huh..."

"An understatement, in my case."

"It's good that you're acknowledging the areas where you could use some improvement." You say as you reach up to cup his cheek and kissed the corner of his lip. "You're doing so well, Touya."

The way your thumb gently rubbed the pale skin of his cheek while you looked at him with honey in your eyes made his chest ache.

"You--" he swallowed as he held your gaze, "think so?"

You nodded and leaned in to press another kiss on his lips. "I know so."

He felt that familiar urge to run away when shit got too personal, but he yearned for more of the pure warmth you offered to his cold, sorry existence.

"I can't promise to always be better. I'll fuck up. I know it. Just don't give-- don't give up on me."

Sharing feelings was embarrassing, painfully so. At least, that's what he told himself to explain the lump in his throat when he struggled to say the words out loud. His hand moved to your thigh and squeezed it, "I'm stubborn but I don't want to fuck this up. When I fuck up, I'll need time to get my head out of my ass."

You felt like crying again seeing how desperately he tried to let you know he wasn't going to always be good at the communication, but he wanted to be and he was trying.

"I'll sit in the freezer waiting for you."

"I-- what? The hell?"

You laugh softly at his dumbfounded expression. "I'll be the ice cream sitting in the freezer waiting for you. So, don't worry about having to rush the process. Do your best. I believe in you, Touya."

He stared at your face for a moment.

"You have low iron. The freezer would kill you."

"I'll be fine 'cause you're always warm."

He once again felt that familiar ache in his chest that he usually got around you. "Wait too long and you'll get freezer burn."

"Are you saying a little freezer burn would keep you from eating your favourite ice cream?" You paused when you noticed his amused expression. "Okay, I walked myself into that one."

"Yeah," the corner of his lip twitched as his eyes darkened. "You did."

"Hey, I know that look. We need to finish talking first-- T-Touya!"

He grabbed your legs, flipping you on your back against the couch with him crawling over you.

"Don't you wanna reward me for doing well so far?" He asked in a low voice. You whimpered at the sight of his heavily lidded eyes looking down at you, amused with your flustered face.

"W-Well, positive reinforcement is a good way of encouraging good behavior, so yes we can, but you have to swear we will talk about this right after-"

He expertly rolled his hips against you, making you gasp. "I'm feeling pretty encouraged right now. You can feel it too, I bet."

You definitely felt it.

He kissed your lips as he removed your bottoms, pushing the backs of your knees as far against as he knew you could comfortably take, exposing the entirety of you in your underwear.

"I swear," he licked a slow stripe against the fabric before pushing it to the side and staring hungrily at your flesh, "on my god damn dick, we'll talk right after I make you come at least four times."

"F-Four?" You could feel his thumb teasing you as he swiped up and down your flesh.

"Five now," his lips wrapped around your sweet spot. He sucked while rubbing his tongue against it at the same time, making your body shudder.

He needed to make up for making you cry so much today.

Your hips bucked against his face, then his fingers.

"So fucking eager after all that talking, huh?" He gave a lopsided grin as he licked the taste of you left behind on his lips. "Yeah, we're definitely talking more often."

He soaked his fingers with the bottle of lube he liked leaving between the seat cushions for times like these. You felt one of his slick fingers tease your tight hole.

"Tell me who fucks you better than me."

"N-No one!"

"Weak shit. Say it again."

"You're the only one who fucks me t-this well!"

He slowly pressed his finger in, the stretch making you sing. He took his time prepping you before inserting another finger and moving in and out of you. He lapped you into whines, working his hand at the pace he knew drove you wild. You cried out praises for him, which he liked almost as much as he liked fucking you to tears.

"And who does this hole belong to? Who owns the rest of this pretty body?"

"Y-You do, it's yours, Touya! It's all yours for you to use as you please!"

You felt your legs trembling as he kept his hands busy with fucking you. The coil inside of you tightening as he vigorously pumped and sucked.

"T-Touya..!" You voice broke as you wailed.

He smirked, feeling satisfied at how fervently your hips bucked against him. You were a needy mess and he hadn't even stretched you with his fat cock yet.

Soon.

"It's mine. You're all fucking mine." His head dived back in and you felt yourself on the precipice of-

"Yeah, you're not special sweetheart."

You shook your head and looked down at him as he looked up at you. He sucked you hard, making your back arch. You were so close.

You stared through half lidded eyes, throat already sore from the sounds he'd easily pulled from you. You tried to focus on the view of him pleasuring you with expertise. Your was mouth open as you shut your eyes and leaned your head back against the couch. You were so close.

"Afraid of what, huh? Afraid that I'll actually start to care about you as more than just a hole I use to get my rocks off, before ghosting you like all the others that came before you?"

You grit your teeth.

Now was not the time for this.

Your eyes shut. You forced the memory away from the forefront of your mind. It doesn't matter right now, you'll tell him how you feel about it later.

Now wasn't the time.

Later.

Later.

...

"Fuck!!" You felt Touya pull his body away from you. "Did I not hear you say the safeword!?"

You opened your eyes and Touya's blurry face had moved from in between your legs to kneeling on the floor beside where you laid on the couch. You blinked your eyes and wiped them with your hands. Oh.

You were crying again.

The realization brought more tears and you looked over at Touya who stared down at you fearfully.

"Maybe someday you'll find someone who wants to deal with this shit, but it's not gonna be me."

"Hey, what--" his voice cracked.

Your body shook as you sobbed into your hands.

A sinking feeling had found it's place in his stomach. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't-- I didn't hear you-"

"T-That's not it." Your voice muffled by your hands and your stuffed nose as you continued to sob. "The sex was consensual the w-whole time."

He looked down at you confused. Relieved that he hadn't hurt you in that way, but stressed since he didn't know what happened to you. His chest burned with anxiety and it made him feel restless. He grabbed your throw blanket and pulled it over you, which you used to hide your sloppy face as you tried to calm yourself down.

"Touya," you cried quietly and he stared down at you frozen with fear.

It was him.

"Tell me what I did." He knew he'd fuck up. He just didn't think it'd be this soon.

You didn't want to hurt him. You wanted to protect him but how could you protect him from the very words he spat at you in a desperate rage? Not speaking up about your own feelings fully and pushing them aside for someone else's sake is how you got here in the first place.

You needed to practice what you preached.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about what you said to me."

The parking lot. He already knew. He hated himself when he said those things and he hated himself now.

It was only a matter of time until he'd ruin things here.

You saw him grab his phone from the floor before standing up and walking across the living room. It must have fallen during your activities.

"I'll text Toga to come by. I'll stay until then."

"Don't go."

"I shouldn't be here."

"Because you hurt my feelings?"

"Yes!" He snapped. "This isn't masochism, it's straight up fucking delusional if you can't see the problem with me staying."

"You hurt my feelings," you sniffled. "It's going hurt whether or not you leave. Stay and talk with me about it."

"This talking shit clearly isn't working. One second you're telling me I fuck you the best then suddenly you're crying in the next. I already ruined whatever we could've had before it even started. We already know how this ends, so don't waste your time."

"If you leave then we will know how this ends." You sat up on the couch, clutching the soft blanket like a lifeline. Your voice was firm, but not enough to cover your soft determination. "You're hurt and so am I. So, sit with me instead of running away. Leaving things the way they are now is the sure-fire way to ruin this."

His jaw tightened as he stayed where he was.

"We talked a little bit earlier, but the issue just now wasn't your fault. It was mine-"

"You're not the one who said all that nasty shit to the person you-" He turned away and glared holes into an innocent plant. "It's over. We're not even fucking dating and it's over." He ran a hand through his hair and laughed.

"You did say horrible things, but I kept brushing off my feelings. We talked a bit earlier, but I still had feelings left unsaid." You stood up, the sound of your feet padding against the floor behind him made him stiffen. You stood in front of him, with your arms loosely crossed on your chest. "How are you supposed to know that stuff was still bothering me? It's not like you can read my mind."

"Don't be fucking dense."

"I seem to recall us wanting to work things out. You told me not to give up on you, remember?"

"Before I realized I traumatized you by saying a bunch of shit!"

"You didn't traumatize me, you hurt my feelings. There's a difference."

"You know the reason you had 'feelings left unsaid' is 'cause I basically mounted you before you could finish saying them, right?"

"No, that's not true and don't demonize yourself like that." You reached for his hand that was balled into a fist at his side, but he pulled it away.

He wasn't worthy of your compassion.

You frowned but didn't let it deter you. "I said it was okay --and before you say anything-- I wasn't coerced into it, either."

His eye twitched at her already knowing what he was going to say before he said it.

"You tease and mock, but you've shown me time and time again that you respect me and my body. You waited until I gave consent and I know that if I didn't give it, you would've let it go and let me talk about my feelings instead. You didn't take advantage of me. I disrespected myself by not prioritizing my own feelings. That's what the main issue was here."

"You said you couldn't stop thinking about what I said. It's my fault, they were my shitty fucking words."

"I'm not trying to say your words weren't a part of it, they definitely were, but I know you were just... saying what you could to put distance in between us."

He sneered, "Is that what you're telling yourself? Doesn't matter why I said it. Intentional or not, lies or not: it still fucking hurt you." His lips curled bitterly as remorse stained the cool blue of his eyes. "It'll be what you think of when you see me from now on."

You took a small step towards him, careful not to invade his personal space but enough to momentarily satisfy your need for physical closeness. Your need for the comfortable heat he offered to you as you both stood together in silence.

"I won't lie..." You started.

He knew that you never lied to him. Your stupidly sincere approach to interactions with him were probably what got him wrapped around your finger in the first place.

He did wonder if you ever lied to yourself about him, though. It'd explain why you let him stick around even while knowing he was a jackass.

He also recognized there wasn't any actual weight to that way of thinking. If anything, the times where your feelings felt so real outweighed those paranoid thoughts of his. Sometimes he'd catch you looking at him. The sweet honey dripping from your eyes at him doing fuck all felt so raw that he'd panic and have to leave for a while.

Whenever you smiled at him, even the soft little ones, you beamed bright enough to burn him to cinders if he let it. Lately, he had found himself simmering under your heat longer and longer, letting himself get singed by you.

Seeing you fidget with the hem of your top snapped him out of his thoughts. You were still in your underwear and it reminded him that he'd burned you. Not with the heat of patience and kindness that you regularly thawed him with, but with flames full of his own agonizingly self-sabotaging wrath.

"I won't lie," you repeated after taking a couple seconds to gather your thoughts. "I'll probably always think about what you said."

He already knew it yet it still made him hate himself more.

"The same way you'll probably always think about it, too."

You sweet, merciful, stupid fucking angel.

"Stop."

"No. You need to hear this."

"Just fucking stop."

"Don't interrupt me, Touya."

He glared at you in irritation as he clenched and unclenched his hands in an attempt to keep himself grounded. Mentally and literally. If he ran away now, you wouldn't be able to share your thoughts. He owed you that and so much more.

"It's something that effected the both of us and it'll change the way we are, but we don't have to let it change us in a bad way. We can use our hurt to help us grow." You said while looking at him with eyes full of hope. "We won't forget it happened and we shouldn't."

"We-- you--," he stammered. He could see the patience in your face and logic, feel the tender touch of your words. He was concurrently immolated by your steadfast mercy and by his venomous wrath. "We need to end this before you get hurt again."

"'Before I get hurt again'? I am going to get hurt again. By you, myself, or some other thing. It's what happens as we live and grow. The difference is learning from it. This is our 'before', and if you let us, we can work on moving on towards our 'after'."

"You know how ridiculously optimistic that sounds, right? Stupidly sappy, too. You really think it's as simple as that?"

"Can I hold your hand?"

He blinked in confusion at the randomness of the question but gave a small nod. You took ahold of it with both of your own.

"We both know it won't be simple. We both have baggage and hurt we'd need to address if we want to be something. It's going to be really hard, but if you stay I know that we'll both put in the work to reach our 'after' and every 'after' after that."

He stayed silent as he took in her words. You really saw--

"--Lots of 'after's, huh?" He quietly spoke as he tried to drown out his nerves with a teasing tone.

He looked at you with hopeful eyes that brought a small smile to your face.

"Lots of 'after's. I am your ice cream sitting in the freezer, remember?"

He'd scoff if he hadn't just gotten the wind knocked from his lungs.

You raise his hand to your lips before pressing a little kiss on the scars on the back of his hand before tugging it gently so he'd follow you to sit back down on the couch.

"I'm not eating freezer burnt ice cream."

"Hey! That's so mean…" you pouted. "And wasteful. You're way too picky of an eater, no wonder you're always grumpy."

"I'm fucking with you."

"Oh, I know. I'm fucking with you, too."

"Sadist..." He affectionately played with the shell of your ear while resting his cheek on your head. The gesture filled her with elation as they sat in comfortable silence.

"Look, I'm..." he started, struggling with his words.

"I know."

"I shouldn't-- I shouldn't have said those things earlier."

"I know."

"You didn't deserve it," his voice was softer.

"I know," you wrapped your arms around his firm torso, squeezing a little tighter.

"You're clingy. What're you thinking? Don't skimp out on me again, I wanna hear all the ugly shit, too." He lightly pinched at your cheek, "This shit ain't gonna work if it's one-sided. Start talking."

You smiled as he pressed his lips to your forehead.

"Okay, Touya."

[ziipzeepzop-eez]

to be very honest I feel soso bad right now, can y'all make me smile?? 🥹

[myymi]

uHHHH if ur still doing requests about tails teaching knuckles how to play a video game

(ps -love ur writing, keep it up)

sonic makes a cameo btw, hope you don't mind

word count-1081

-------------------

“I don’t understand the point of this, Tails.” Knuckles mumbled, watching as the fox powered on the tablet he was holding. He doesn’t think it’s the younger’s main tablet, as this one is red and a lot bigger.

“It’s fun!” Tails smiled as he swiped through the gallery of games downloaded, “We just gotta find something you’d like,” He hummed as continued looking.

The echidna sighed and placed a hand on the kit’s shoulder, guiding him to sit on the top stair of the shrine.

“Here,” The kid smiled, handing the tablet over to the older once he sat down, “let’s try this one out!”

Knowing he couldn’t say no to the fox, Knuckles took the tablet carefully and squinted at the screen. It had gone from the bright white to more colorful scenery, showcasing an island, “Animal Crossing?”

“It’s a more relaxed game,” Tails explained as he crossed his legs underneath one another, “I think it’s a good one to try out first.”

“If you say so,” The teen shrugged, tapping the button that read ‘new game’, raising a brow when it did nothing.

He heard the fox giggling beside him, “You have to use the buttons on the controller.” He said before reaching over and pressing the ‘A’ button.

“That seems pointless.” Knuckles grumbled, eyes staying focused on the screen.

“You have to use the buttons for everything in this game,” Tails said with a shrug, “thinking about it, it wouldn’t work all too well if you just tapped the screen for everything.”

Choosing to ignore what the fox had said, the teen squinted at the screen when he saw a character come up and start talking to him. 

“Tom Nook?” He questioned, shaking his head, “an odd name.” 

 “The names aren’t all that important.” Tails said, leaning against the older. 

“What is the objective of this, Tails?” Knuckles asked, looking at his brother. 

“Your goal is to build up your island,” The kit explained, “y’know, making it livable for the villagers.” 

“The island is inhabited?” The echidna asked as he continuously pressed the ‘A’ button, not caring to read any of the dialog. 

“Well, it is now.” Tails shrugged, pointing at the avatars on screen, “by you, Tom, Timmy, Tommy, and two other randomized villagers.” 

“Why?” Knuckles turned to look at the younger, “There are plenty of other places they could’ve lived, why take over an island?” 

“Uhh,” Tails probably should’ve thought this through a bit more, “well, the island needs someone to take care of it, right? Make sure it isn’t overgrown, trees are able to grow healthily, etc.” 

Knuckles hummed, looking back at the screen, “I suppose you’re right.” 

The kit just smiled up at him, wrapping his tails around the two of them. He turned back to the screen, reading as much of the next he could before the teen skipped past. 

When they were through all of the text, Knuckles turned to the younger to ask what the next step was, but the fox was already speaking. 

“Now you get to see which villagers you’re starting with,” Tails said, pointing to the left joystick, “use that to go up to them, then press A to talk to ‘em.” 

With a sigh, the echidna did as he was told and ran up to the lion wearing a bright green shirt. 

“Oh, that’s Bud!” Tails said with a smile before adding, “I think you’ll like him.”

“Hmm.. I trust your judgment.” Knuckles mumbled before pressing ‘A’ to talk to Bud.

Noticing the older was taking the time to read the dialog because of him, the fox gave a smile as he leaned against the other. He stayed quiet, unless Knuckles specifically asked for his help with something.

——

“I still can’t believe you actually taught Knux how to play a video game.” Sonic said, shaking his head. He and Tails were at Angel Island for a visit, which the oldest had paused for a minute so he could check on his virtual island.

It had been a few weeks since Tails showed the echidna how to play Animal Crossing and, from what he could tell, Knuckles really enjoyed it!

“Anyone can learn how to play a game,” Tails shrugged his shoulders, glancing over at the echidna, “you just gotta find the right game for them.”

“And you figured a calm game was the right one?” The hedgehog raised his brow at his brother, “Do we know the same Knuckles?”

The kit rolled his eyes, using his elbow to nudge the older, “Knuckles is calm! You just always push his patience!”

“Whatever you say, l’il bro.” Sonic laughed when he received a punch in his arm in place over the gentle nudge, looking over at Knuckles as he rejoined the group.

“Hey!” Tails greeted, a bright, innocent smile on his face as if he didn’t just punch the hedgehog, “Everyone alright?”

Knuckles gave a curt nod, “They are good. They seem happy with the decorations I’ve added.”

“You’ll have to show me all your new stuff soon!” The kit said as they sat down on the ground, getting ready for lunch, “That includes your new villagers.”

Sonic snorted from his spot to the right of the fox, “You’re telling me he let’s people stay on the island?”

The echidna rolled his eyes, “I’m fine with people being on my island, hedgehog. Just not you.”

“What?” The teen reeled back, an exaggerated gasp leaving his mouth, “I’ve saved this island so many times, dude!”

“You would ruin the grass with all of your running.” The older pointed out, a small smirk on face proving he didn’t really mean what he was saying. Not entirely, at least.

“You’d just do some ancient echidna spell to fix ‘em.” Sonic joked, shooting a wink at the youngest.

“You know that’s not possible.” The smirk fell from Knuckles’ face. He was starting to get annoyed.

Tails sighed, bringing his knees up to his chest as he continued to watch his hero annoy their older brother until his temper snapped. It didn’t take long for Knuckles to take a swing at Sonic, since he knew all the perfect ways to push the echidna over the edge.

Figuring they’d be at it for a while, the kit got up from his spot and flew to the top of the Master Emerald’s shrine, picking up the red tablet and plopping himself on the top step.

He’ll just have to give himself a tour of Knuckles’ island.

[theworldisabrokenbonebutitishome]

The wonderful Guardian Bingo Fest mods put 'lollipops' on my card and my brain went 'ah yes let's be as weird as possible about this'.

Bonus photo for anyone risking pressing on a read more on one of my posts. You're safe from me rambling for once.

Zhao Yunlan has company now! ☺️

[tigergender]

Remembering the toxic hellscape that was 2015-2019ish SU fandom and just how much hate the show got is really insane when you rewatch the show after it's been a while. Like the show is good what the hell were any of these people talking about

[dotchi18]

I SAW YOUR POST AND I AM HERE™

request for mammon with bluebell please (or ivy if you'd like, it's up to you ^^)

ANYWAYS I ALSO WANTED TO SAY HI

hi~`

Eeeeeeeeeeee! Hi! And Thank you Cup, I appreciate you being here and making a request! ;w; 

Sorry if it took a while, I just saw it in my inbox and it says it was dropped in 78 days ago? I had no idea ;-; 

But I will of course do as you ask!

I decided to go with your Sentient!AU, I hope you like it!  

Yandere!Mammon x Reader

Bluebell (Humility, Gratitude)- “ I’ll be your humble servant, if only you let me.” 

----

Life was a stressful mess as of late. 

Writing plenty of essays to get into college, with a lack of response from the counselor in helping, school still being something to focus on, it was just very stressful overall. 

At least there were other things to focus on, mobile games mostly being the focus as you sink plenty of time into Genshin Impact and Obey Me. 

Lately though any attempts to play Genshin was leading to the screen freezing after a minute or two, so most of the time you invested in Obey Me, and specifically your best boy Mammon. 

It seemed lately like whenever you entered the app, he seemed happy to see you, in his own Tsundere way. 

It was another night after a long day and you simply settled into your bed with a mug of tea and your favorite snack as you opened said app. 

“ Oi! Took ya long enough to come back! What th’ hell are ya doin’ all day?” The demon pouted, dressed up in his causal clothing on the Homescreen with his room as the background. 

Lately it seemed as if where everything else in life sucks, the game decided to bless you with Mammon cards to make you feel better, and you were quickly filling in getting his outfits and any backgrounds and soundtracks related to his cards as one played faintly behind Mammon’s voice, 

“ I guess it doesn’t matter, yer here now.” 

You were unable to stop a smile from coming onto your face as you pecked your finger onto the screen as if in a kiss on his head, giving it a small tap. 

“ Ya know givin’ me more affection wouldn’t kill ya yanno?” Mammon’s sprite blushed as he closed his eyes, shying, making the warm feeling curl more inside you. 

Deciding to humor the one behind the screen, you planted a kiss on your phone. 

Of course, being that it was a phone screen and you were you, the kiss took up most of his body, but you heard his laugh soundbite, pulling away to see his big goofy grin and blush.

“ Ya know fer a human ya sure are cute!” 

Realizing what he said his blush remained but he became more begrudging, wiggling in his place, “ I-I mean... Jeez, Ya really know how ta catch The Great Mammon off guard!” 

He tried to scold, but ended it a little lamely, making you stroke his hair with a finger as you turned your attention to your energy levels, not seeing the demon give a small frown at the change in attention. 

Lately with these new high-powered cards you’re getting you’ve been tearing through the Lessons, deciding it wouldn’t be too hard to tackle this next arc in this one single night. 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Pulling everything together on the battle segment, you chose your three most high-powered cards at the time, Mammon, Asmo and Beel. 

Well, your most High-powered cards were all Mammon for the most part, but you wanted to fill in all the spots to make sure you could move along. 

Clicking the ‘Battle!’ button, you heard a Mammon soundbite that you had never heard before, but because you didn’t speak Japanese, you had no idea what he said. 

All you knew he said was ‘You’ and ‘them’, letting you know he was speaking to you probably about the others before the battles started.

The three brothers were dancing, but the only one with a sound bite actively sounding was Mammon as he danced his heart out against a mini boss. 

You set the boys special moves off as fast as you could, and Mammon’s powers set off, zombifying the competition. 

Sighing, you melted against your pillows, pleased for the nearly 100% triggering of the powers that had also been happening recently. 

You kind of wished the zombifying would work on real people, like your counselor. 

You had mentioned it out loud before, considering he was stressing you out with his procrastination and there was no one else around to hear you at the time. 

After all, wouldn’t it be super nice if something happened so you didn’t have to request a new one and the new one might actually get everything done on time? 

Sure it wasn’t a perfect solution, being accepted on the spot by the college itself would be, but when one had to dream of things more plausible one came up with stuff like this. 

Blinking back from your thoughts, you looked to see the ‘Win!’ sign hanging up with a pleased but flippant Mammon saying something before the ‘Surprise Guest!’ popped up. 

Clicking on it, Mammon popped up again, “ Ya know, ya don’t need those guys, right? Only me. I only let ya pick ‘em ‘cause they can’t do anything.” 

It was a weird quote, but you simply rubbed his face, making him blush and dip his head down, something you did two more times to a burst of hearts before he shifted from side to side in your hold. 

“ Ya know ‘m gonna see ya real soon. Don’t pick anyone else, okay? Promise me.” 

He watched you and your indulgent smile before giving a nod.

" 'll take that as a yes then."

The surprise guest ended and you got to the next story section, where you were talking with Satan, having a small laugh over something.

It started getting a little flirty, before it gave you a prompt.

- I'm so glad we're friends.

- Betray Mammon.

' What the Hell is this?' A small shake of the head and you pressed 'I'm so glad we're friends', letting down Satan gently as he expressed assurances of being glad they were friends too.

You exited from Tasks as the Home screen loaded up.

" I shouldn't have to mess around with stuff to let ya know that kissin' somebody else is betrayal, right? Good."

This was getting very weird.

" Oi." He called softly from in the phone, taking your attention, " Ya know, The Great Mammon isn't one people can just push around.

But... I can be at your beck and call if only ya let me."

" What are you saying?" You finally answered out loud, " This is... really weird."

" 's not weird Treasure."

He assured as the phone started glitching, and heating up in your hands.

" 'm headin' out. Just give me a second alright?

And remember, ya promised me ya wouldn't pick anyone else.

Not my brothers.

And not any of them outside.

Wait for me. 'll be there soon."

Your entire phone winked out, screen black.

You nearly jolted as you pressed the buttons, holding them down and tapping on them, only to get no response.

You rolled to your side and plugged in the charger, hoping it would do something as you checked the time on the alarm clock

It was way too late to go out and get it looked at by anyone.

Running a hand through your hair, you decided to work on everything when you woke up tomorrow, slumping down into your bed, yanking the blankets over yourself as you settled in, mind still racing as you fell into a fitful sleep.

Not awake to feel the weight of a new body beside you, a hand being placed over yours with a kiss being planted on your forehead.

" Hey there Treasure."

[brookheimer]

okay. i need to rewatch the episode probably but i think my current feeling is that i like most of it a lot (rome, ken, the siblings not getting ceo, etc), think the tom ceo makes sense from a logical/character perspective but not sure how i feel about it from a broader more thematic lens (altho i'm leaning towards fine with it), and am very mixed on shiv's ending because i think it's well-conceived and meaningful from a broader thematic lens (shiv becomes her mother, the cycle always repeats, etc) but doesn't quite make sense to me from a logical/character one -- it could've worked, it could've worked brilliantly, but it was far too rushed and forced. it makes sense as an ending for shiv, but not her next step. i'm largely talking about her decision to return to tom, not her decision to vote against kendall (which i think should've been executed better and given more space but can understand given her character, mostly). i'm fine with it as an ending for shiv, but what i'm struggling to stomach is the way it played out -- it didn't feel like a choice the shiv we know would've made. it's an ending that makes sense thematically and for her character arc, but not a decision that makes sense for her character at present. that's kinda where i'm at right now

[chocolaminity]

I wonder when I'll get to see him again... I want to see him soon.

I hope he can teach me all sorts of things about soccer!

[seventeendeer]

I always thought when I found a good relationship of my own I'd stop being such a little hater vis a vis other people's romantic escapades, because surely I was just jealous, right ?? what I really wanted was to be that happy and in love, right ??? no one is that hateful and meanies over something that literally doesn't involve them, right !!!!

unfortunately, good reader,

[hopefuloverfury]

Hello, I was wondering if I could request Kent x Reader if you don’t mind since you said requests are open? The dynamic being an oblivious farmer who is just very polite and unaware as fuck while Kent is basically just like “I would both kill and die for you” (I apologize I am completely obsessed with him)

I don’t personally feel anything but platonic fondness for the rest of the townies, so this was a really nice challenge. It did take me forever to write because it gave me a lot of trouble and I kept rewriting it, but I eventually landed on this and I’m pretty pleased with it. They’re both dumb, but they figure themselves out by the end. I really hope I did your prompt justice, anon, and that maybe it was worth the wait! Enjoy! <3

2650-ish Words. This is a monster. I don’t like writing infidelity, so you can be sure that there is a hefty amount of canon divergence, even if I don’t mention anything outright. GN!Farmer. This is a little suggestive at certain moments, they flirt quite a bit (Kent does it knowingly, the Farmer does not because they are an oblivious shit), and there’s drinking, but nobody’s drunk. Ah, and there’s cursing, and Kent imagines the Farmer being all roughed up once (nothing explicit), and I use “Yoba” instead of “God.” Yanno. For immersion. I do say “fuck you” to the immersion in favor of using our twelve-month calendar year, though, so. There’s also that. Lmfao

Kent swirls the scotch in his glass, watching the amber liquid slosh around with the ice. It’s Friday night, half-past seven p.m., and the saloon is lively and bright. He’s been people-watching since he arrived, settled alone in his little corner. Marnie and Lewis still haven’t figured out their shit, Robin is attempting to teach Demetrius to dance without stepping on her toes once again, and Elliott is lamenting his writer’s block to Leah at the table over.

Same old, same old.

“Evening. This seat taken?” The Farmer asks, a nearly-empty drink in hand and a knowing grin on their face. 

Except for this. This is a relatively new development.

Kent smiles up at them. “You know it isn’t.”

“Just in case.” The Farmer settles down on the stool next to him, the legs of their newly claimed chair screeching terribly against the worn down hardwood of the saloon. His heart tries to leap out of his throat and into their careful, calloused hands, but he swallows it down with another sip of liquor. It burns his throat terribly, but he welcomes the distraction.

“I haven’t seen you at the saloon in a while,” Kent says, his voice rough from the alcohol. They take a sip of their own drink—something deep red and fruity, with a cherry sitting at the bottom of their glass.

“I try to take a little break at least once a week, but last week was hectic as hell.” They sigh, a satisfied smile on their lips as they sit back.

“Yeah? You get a lot of work done on the farm?” Kent asks, openly checking them out as they set their drink down and stretch their arms high over their head. A few months ago he would’ve been more discreet, but now he’s given up entirely on subtlety. The Farmer never notices anyway. The face they make as they stretch has his mouth going dry, and he drinks a too-large sip of his scotch, trying not to make a face about it.

“Before the snow hit, yeah, but now there isn’t really anything for me to do. Winter doesn’t make it easy for crops, so I’ve been collecting other things to sell. Animal products, gems, that sort of thing.” The Farmer settles down, done with their stretching, and Kent silently thanks the universe for giving him a break. “Actually, I was in the desert today. I haven’t been to the skull caverns in a while, so I spent most of the day down there.”

He immediately rescinds his gratitude, and sets his glass down with a sharp thunk.

“You went to the caverns?”

The Farmer nods, shrugging a bit as their mouth twists into a frown. “Yeah, but it wasn’t a great run, if I’m honest. A few gems and geodes. I wanted iridium ore, but there was basically nothing. I only got three nuggets from what was there because I spent so long beating back monsters.”

That last bit has Kent’s blood running backward, and he taps his fingers on the table-top, the beat agitated and quick. “That’s unfortunate.” 

The Farmer snorts. “Yeah, tell me about it. I could’ve gotten more done if I just stayed home, honestly. But it’s my fault for going on a bad luck day.”

He doesn’t know what the fuck that means, if he’s honest, and he’s not particularly superstitious himself, but he’s learned not to question them. Except now the thought of the Farmer being overrun by monsters won’t dissipate, and it’s making his stomach turn. He clenches his jaw. 

“You should bring me with you next time.”

The Farmer looks up at him, their eyes wide and stunned for only a moment before they’re chuckling into their glass. “Yeah? You wanna be my good luck charm, Kent?”

Yoba, he does.

The Farmer licks their lips clean, and whatever juice Gus mixed up with their alcohol has stained their lips and tongue a ruddy red.

He leans forward, propping his chin up on the palm of his hand, and smiles. “I could be.”

They laugh outright, bright and delighted. Kent absently notices the quick glances they’re receiving from the other patrons. Nosy.

“You know, I was talking with some of the ladies at Caroline’s aerobics class on Tuesday,” the Farmer starts, rolling the stem of their glass between their pinched fingers. Their smile is soft. “They said something interesting about you.”

Kent raises an amused eyebrow. “You gossiping about me, Farmer?”

“It was against my will, I assure you.” They deadpan, and Kent laughs, covering his grin with a wide palm.

“Enlighten me, then: what trivia did they bestow upon you against your will?” Kent asks.

“They said you never smile unless you’re with me,” The Farmer says quickly, rushed out in one breath like they can't say it fast enough. Kent’s eyes widen, and he’s pretty sure there’s steam rising from the top of his head, but the Farmer doesn’t catch any of it because they refuse to look at him. “And that I’m the only one who’s been able to make you laugh, since you came back.”

They were gossiping like roosting hens, the lot of them. Kent sighs heavily, harsh and a little embarrassed. How can they see it, but not the Farmer?

Still…

“They’re wrong, actually.” Kent straightens up, pushing his near empty glass aside. 

“Yeah?” The Farmer asks, and Kent doesn’t try to think too hard about why they sound so disappointed, or why they’re fighting back a frown.

“Even before getting drafted, I wasn’t like this.” Kent admits, and he can feel the tips of his ears flushing hotly at what he’s about to confess next. “I’ve never been like this with anyone, actually.”

“Oh.” The Farmer blinks owlishly, their hand stilling on their glass. “Really?”

Kent shakes his head, humming an affirmative. “Just you.”

“So… I’m special?” They ask, and it’s obvious they’re joking, the tilt of their lips just a little too teasing, but he doesn’t care. It’s obvious, and they’ll figure it out for themselves eventually.

“Are you going to the caverns again tomorrow?” Kent asks instead of answering, flagging down Emily for the bill. She notices immediately, and Kent knows it’s because she was staring. Everyone is always fucking staring.

“Um.” The Farmer picks at a loose thread on their shirt, even though there isn’t one. He doesn’t mention it. “Yeah, I was—I was thinking about it, if the day’s luck is good.”

“You don’t need to check if it is.” Kent watches Emily walk out from behind the bar, the bill and a pen in hand. “I’ll be your good luck charm, remember?”

The Farmer opens their mouth to respond, with the prettiest blush on their face, but Emily finally appears at their table, effectively cutting them off.

“Here you are,” Emily says, a curious smile on her face as she hands him the bill. 

He sets the bill on the table and reaches into his pocket for his wallet. “Thanks, Emily. How’s business tonight?” 

“Fridays are always busy, so it’s going well, I suppose. What about you two? How’s your night so far?” She asks, mischief sparkling in her calculating blue eyes. Even if Kent didn’t know her and Haley were siblings, the way they look at the world would give it away immediately. Haley’s eyes are far more cunning, but still. Two peas in a pod.

Kent places a few heavy coins in the tray, making sure to tip her a few extra than usual, and passes it back. “Great, but we’ve got plans to go into the desert early tomorrow, so we’re gonna head out.”

“Calico Desert?” Emily asks, and Kent is almost surprised she doesn’t push for more info. “My friend Sandy lives over there!”

Ah. That’s why.

“I’ll make sure to say hi to her for you,” The Farmer jumps in, making deliberate eye contact with Emily. The smile on their face is polite, but distracted.

“Would you?” Emily smiles gratefully. “Thanks, Farmer. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.” The Farmer’s returning smile is genuine this time, and Kent’s heart thumps heavily against his ribcage. If they make his heart race any more, he’ll have to check in with Harvey for potential bruising.

“Well, you’re all set, so y’all have a good night,” Emily says with a smile, reaching out to pluck their empty glasses off the table.

“You too.” Kent stands up, pushing his chair in and waiting for the Farmer to get up to their feet. “Are you ready to go? Got everything?”

The Farmer nods, and Kent follows them with his hands shoved into his jacket pockets as they walk out. He takes one hand out to hold the door for them as they step out into the frigid winter air, and almost immediately his fingers are numb. He’s never been able to handle the cold very well. It’s in his best interest to head home, to get out of it and into some central heating, but…

“Can I walk you home?” Kent asks quietly, after the door swings shut behind them. The Farmer stops short, and he can’t tell if the flush is from the cold or from something else.

“You’re welcome to, but don’t you hate the cold?” The Farmer gestures vaguely at the snowflakes floating around them. “Shouldn’t I be the one walking you home?”

Kent smiles, his chest suddenly light. “Maybe, but your place is farther, and I don’t wanna say goodnight to you just yet.”

“Like my company that much, huh?” The Farmer asks, cocking their head to the side as they slip their hands into their pockets. The collar of their winter jacket pulls against the back of their neck, and Kent steps onto the icy path. 

“Let’s get you home, Farmer.” Kent starts walking, expecting them to follow. He smiles at the sound of their boots crunching against the frosted grass and gravel, and starts heading for the farmlands.

“You ignoring my questions on purpose, Kent?” They ask, but he knows it isn’t a question.

“Yep.” He nods. “We’re taking the bus tomorrow morning, right? What time should I meet you there?”

They sigh, playfully irritated, and he grins to himself. “Pam usually gets there at 9, so I should be good to head out at eight-fifty? If that works for you?”

“Eight-fifty it is, then. Anything in particular that you’re looking for down there?”

They sigh, looking up at the cloudy sky as they walk past Marnie’s. “Same thing as today. I really need iridium so I can get Clint to upgrade all of my tools before the new year, and I need my hoe upgraded desperately if I want to make a profit off of strawberries next spring.”

“Thinking that far ahead, huh?” Kent glances at the sketchy caravan beyond the trees next to Cindersap, and purposely puts himself between it and the Farmer. 

“Not by much, but I have to if I don’t want to go bankrupt. Strawberries are good for a lot of other stuff, too. I can make jam and wine with them, which are both pretty profitable.”

“Are you going to grow anything else, or just strawberries?”

The Farmer shrugs and unlatches the south gate to their property. “I grow some things year-round in my greenhouse, but I think I’ll only plant strawberries in the fields, since they’re the most profitable.”

“How do you know?” Kent asks, genuinely curious. He doesn’t know shit about farming, truthfully.

“I’ve done the math,” they say, pulling a small notebook out of seemingly fucking nowhere. Kent glares at their jacket in confusion. “They’ve got the highest profit ratio, based on how much I drop on them at Pierre’s stand and how often they grow. Strawberry plants fruit every four days once they’re fully grown, so I can get the most out of them if I start them early.”

They hold out their notebook, flipped to a random page with a smattering of bullet points and notes in their handwriting. There’s a silly doodle of a strawberry at the top of the page, and Kent smiles fondly.

“You’ve got this shit down to a science, Farmer. I’m impressed.”

They snort, and their notebook practically dematerializes as they shove it into their jacket, but he doesn’t see a pocket—where on earth do they put it?

“Two years of fucking up and not planning ahead has taught me to think about the future a little more.” They shrug. “We’ll have to see if I can actually pull it off, though; planning ahead won’t mean anything if I can’t get the iridium ore for it.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. You’ve still got two months left.”

“Two months goes by pretty quickly, though.” They sigh, and Kent watches as the lampposts in front of their house begin illuminating their face.

He swallows hard and averts his stare. He shrugs, forcing himself to be casual. “Well, between the both of us and a little luck, I think we’ll manage it just fine.”

They hum, and he catches their smile through his peripherals.

“Maybe.” The stairs on the Farmer’s porch creak under their weight as they step up to their front door, and Kent knows he has to say goodnight now, but as they go to pluck their keys out of their pocket, he grabs their wrist.

“I know I’ve been kinda pushy, but I want you to tell me honestly.” Kent knows without a shred of doubt that his fingers are nearly frozen against their skin. They look at him, chin angled down with their sudden height difference. He won’t go up their front steps to even it out, though. That’s a boundary he won’t cross, not unless they ask him to. “Is it really alright that I come with you tomorrow? I don’t want you to force yourself to be okay with it if you don’t actually want me there.”

The Farmer’s lips part, and he sees rather than hears their breath of surprise—a cloud of vapor in front of their face, glowing orange in their porch light.

“Why have you been so pushy?” They ask, and now it’s his turn to get ignored. “Why do you want to come with me so badly?”

Kent lets go of their wrist, and his palm burns. He doesn’t have it in him to lie. “Because I’m scared of what might happen to you if I don’t.”

They’re quiet for a long moment, recognition passing over their face, and Kent loves the fact that pity is never something he’ll have to see along with it. Not with the Farmer.

They walk forward, placing a sturdy hand on the banister as they lean in close. “I have one more question for you, Kent. Answer honestly, and I’ll let you come with me.” 

Kent nods stiffly, his eyes flicking everywhere but their own. “I’m great at honesty.”

They hum, and Kent watches, frozen solid as they glance at his lips. “Am I special to you?” 

He bites his lip, the back of his neck burning. “Yeah—yes. You are.”

They nod once, and then step away. Kent watches, a sudden panic thickening in his chest.

“Good.”

Wait, 'good?'

The Farmer unlocks their front door, and opens it wide. They turn around before stepping inside, and their smile is giddy. Kent’s panic subsides. He’s imagined rejection more times than he can count, and he’s pretty sure that’s not what it looks like. “I’ll see you at eight-fifty, okay? Don’t be late—I’d hate to have to leave my good-luck charm behind.”

“Cross my heart.” Kent nods, his own smile just as giddy. 

They close the door, just a bit. Their eyes twinkle. “Goodnight, Kent.” 

“G’night.” He waves, and the cold isn’t nipping at his fingers as much anymore.

When he collapses into bed that night, his skin is flushed and cold, and his heart is thumping erratically in his chest. His smile doesn’t subside, even as he falls asleep.

[onewingedangels]

I finished ff7 rebirth

[bragganhyl]

I romanced Lae'zel in my first pt of bee gee three and my tav became a squid at the end. Lae'zel went from a character who dumps a squid and leaves, to someone who is down to smorch a squid and stay (patch 4), to someone who dumps a squid and leaves but promises to one day come back in the epilogue (patch 5) and like uhhh.... yay? three endings for the price of one? thanks?

[cervidaecorpse]

"Space Dragons reigned over the creation of the universe." - wonder if that will ever be relevant again.

More thoughts under the cut.

Taken from episode 64. Please excuse the poor quality. Their original purpose was only as a rough reference... which they are still being used for.

I don't know, Ranran. This looks like a mass grave to me, considering they're all found on the same layer. Either a burial ground (if they had a culture like this) or something similar to a catastrophe happened for all of them to die at the same time. Maybe something related to the death of Phaser's and Tremolo's parents? We don't know how old they are. We don't know anything about the life or lifespan of a Space Dragon, even less of one being half human (or more or less).

It's also very confusing to me that a species compared to gods is this 'easily' wiped out. It is unusual for natural predators to completely kill off the species they're hunting. If prey becomes scares, predators decline in numbers as well, giving the hunted room to regain their members. This makes the hunters rise in population and on it goes. It's basically an endless circle until it's disrupted.

Though it is not explicitly stated, one could assume that Space Dragons were used as fuel, since their fossils are. Wouldn't you think species smart enough to invent space travel would be considered of their best fuel source? Or am I giving them too much credit? Considering they were greedy enough to take almost everything from the mining planet, I am certainly giving then too much credit. But why would they leave so many remains on earth behind and not use them as fuel? Unless these Space Dragons did not die because of fuel related reasons. Perhaps I am putting too much thought on the alife ones, and their properties as fuel only come from them being dead and processe by their environment for a very long time, like oil and coal.

Not saying the extinction of Space Dragons was purposefully orchestrated by someone, but it makes me think. Somehow, extraterrestrial species are going extinct in the Go Rush world. Velgearians (obviously), Space Dragons and Dragonbusters. I'm not saying anything groundbreaking or new here, but apparently there are no extraterrestrials in SEVENS. Though Yuhi still reacted to the machine-people. And what was up with that other space ship at the end of 62? Maybe extraterrestrials are not completely gone after all?

On a nice world building side note: The fossil from episode 42 confirms there are different subspecies of Space Dragon. Not that the different skulls did not already proof that. Same with the four fingered claws. Unless it's because Phaser is partly human or some got lost during life or after death. There is also one with two claws but who knows? But if their claw number really is that different, does that mean there could be true Space Dragons and "Pseudo Space Dragons"? Meaning not every dragon is actually related to the same ancestor species, ergo Space Dragons came from different planets? Or can Space Dragons be born in space? Wouldn't it be funny, if the shape(s) of Space Dragons is (are) the go to shape(s) for space 'lizards', like the shape of the crab-like body plan?

(...Did the one in the first image have bones in their beard????)

I'm not really sure about any of these and just wanted to put my thoughts down. I don't have high hopes for the narrative to return to Space Dragons, but Go Rush tends to have its surprises. Until then I'm going to sit here and build my own empire of Space Dragons.