#sad dogboi hourz | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

apple-os · 6 months

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i feel so bad and i feel so sick trying to do things i normally do right now

like i feel like im gonna throw up even though i didn't do anything wrong to deserve that being brought up especially since i apologised multiple times and i was trying my best to be better to make up for it

so i shouldn't be feeling like this why am i feeling like this

#sad dogboi hourz #ive never felt sex repulsion this bad but it's like directed towards myself for being hypersexual #and for shit i did when i was really young

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apple-os · 5 months

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i feel empty yet somehow still overwhelmed with emotion

it hurts

#sad dogboi hourz

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apple-os · 5 months

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if one more thing goes wrong im fucking gone this is not a joke anymore

this is mostly a joke for the record

ive been having so many problems it's literally unfair why can I not just be HAPPY

every effort I make means nothing

every effort towards mine or others happiness literally means jack fucking shit like it's literally just pointless I don't even know why I try

i always end up feeling like

nobody loves me and I'm gonna end up alone or in an early grave or both

and that maybe that's for the best

#tw suicide mention #ive had the tendency to write suicide notes and make plans in my head just in case i do go through with it for a while #because i have several mental illnesses and i am unpredictable even to myself #but like i dont think anything is going to come of it #if it does im sorry but i still dont think it will #i feel like people forget sometimes how someone can just be gone in an instant #i try to remember it because i don't want the last moments i have with someone to be terrible #there are a lot of things i want to do in my life i just feel like i cant do them #as much as im currently really upset with her i want to meet my girlfriend in person #even if we aren't partners anymore by then #i want to go abroad somewhere #i want to have my own place #i want to get a job #i want to be able to do dishes again #i want to be loved and feel loved #i want to understand how to cope with my breakdowns and episodes #i want so much but yet nothing #and somehow it all still feels so far away #where are you? why can't i reach you? don't you see how I'm hurting? can you lend me your hand?#what are you up to right now? you're so far away i cant see you #sad dogboi hourz

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apple-os · 6 months

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rage

+

despair

#tw suicidal ideation #vent #sad dogboi hourz #artistic nudity #my art #ill be alright btw im just like. going thru it rn tbh #dont wanna post on my artblog since its adults only here annnnd yeah #cw nudity

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apple-os · 6 months

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sometimes I laugh when I'm breaking down voluntarily because it like. feels like cathartic in a sense I guess idk

but today I broke down real bad and, for the first time, yes, the first time ever, I started laughing unintentionally and without that same control

and it was scary

and feeling so mentally fucked like that just because of something somebody said is scary

it's like suddenly I realise how truly gullible I am and how easily my psyche can be damaged just by someone pulling the right strings

obviously I already knew I was easily hurt but holy shit that just isn't fucking fair

especially since I can't even shut my emotions off like some people apparently can. I am just permanently sensitive. forever and ever unending

i think people should be nicer to people with issues they can't control if im honest

#I was laughing after saying i was basicslly my family's punching bag i guess #idk it's all a blur i was like really not in a good way #but anyway yeah i dont know what to do about this #sad dogboi hourz #i wasnt even laughing at it though i was just like. laughing #or at least thats how it felt

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apple-os · 6 months

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can u imagine purposefully distancing urself from a friend group only to eventually see they've removed ur name from their bio and get upset

#sad dogboi hourz

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apple-os · 7 months

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just a disclaimer

I think I reserve the right to rant abt people on main if I need to

obviously I'm not going to say who they are that would be an asshole move but

yknow like. I need to talk abt it SOMEWHERE and the internet is full of people unloading their bullshit, so why not add to that fire rlly

I mean if they see my bullshit I'm sorry but also I get irritated easily so don't take it personally

#maybe im an asshole 4 this but like #im simultaneously sick of getting mad. sick of my life situation. and sick of not having ppl to talk 2 abt it #so uhmmmmm ermm uhhhhh #Joe mother #i will keep ranting on main until i see reason not to #rant #sad dogboi hourz

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apple-os · 7 months

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"[ ] stated that it was something they were going to have to think on"

THINK ON DEEZ NUTZ

#anyway im just kind of mad because it's been like two weeks #and i was never told abt this in the first place #plus like bro i thought we were friendz why r u being so formal #this is more of a rant so #rant #sad dogboi hourz #ill tag that anyway

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apple-os · 7 months

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I hate it when I want to be friends with someone but then they do something that makes me wildly uncomfortable so I end up running away instead

#it happens a ton actually #lol.#anywayz #sad dogboi hourz

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apple-os · 8 months

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pretty convinced nothing is ever going to get better nor easier

#and if thats the case i dont rlly know if i cant do this shit #sad dogboi hourz

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apple-os · 8 months

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how does one stop feeling like they're underappreciated and overappreciated by someone they like

#im wondering if they even trust me enough with anything #like. is this worth it or am i wasting my time worrying #and am i wasting my time reaching out saying they can talk to me just for them to not say anything about what's happening #not even an “i dont want to talk about it” just straight up like. nothing #its not making me feel very comfortable but i cant exactly do anything about it #sad dogboi hourz #they like me back btw this has already been established but we're not like. a serious thing or anything

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apple-os · 9 months

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maybe i just consider people friends quicker

#sad dogboi hourz

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apple-os · 9 months

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i am like so fucking sick of my brain rn

it keepz sayin shit and making me mad/upset over STUPID STUFF

LIKE DUH APOLLO OBVIOUSLY THESE PPL DONT KNOW U U HAVENT TALKED ABT URSELF MUCH U JUST PUT ON AN ACT AND SOMETIMES THE AUTISM SLIPS OUT AND U FEEL BAD FOR RAMBLING

UR ENTIRE PAWSONALITY RIGHT NOW IS HAPPY GO LUCKY SCENEMO DOGBOY WITH VENTS IN THE VENT CHANNEL WHICH YOU ALSO FEEL BAD ABOUT !!

i mean i guess i am just the epitome of up and down though, it's either im rlly excitably overzealous, friendly and habpy or the polar fucking opposite

i think maybe, ultimately it's always going to be me against me against the world

#sad dogboi hourz #thanks rsd #thanks a lot

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apple-os · 9 months

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good night tumblr i have had an awful end of my day

#sad dogboi hourz

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apple-os · 10 months

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man i suck at not sucking

#sad dogboi hourz #not to vent on main #my brain is just an asshole

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apple-os · 11 months

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idk if this counts as a song or poetry even if it was initially written as a song so i'll tag both but here

#sad dogboi hourz #poetry #song lyrics #u go girl [gender neutral androgynous]#vent i guess #woah!#imagine

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