#and somehow it all still feels so far away

[apollogeticx]

✧˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ DUMB & POETIC ♡·˚

— [♡] ; you sprouted love like flowers, growing a garden in your mind and watering the petals with every unshed tear. ｡°. gojo satoru

tags: hanahaki disease, afab!reader, fluff, slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, emotional growth, vulnerable gojo satoru, recovered feelings, love after trauma, reconciliation, slow healing, happy ending, chapter two of four!

wc. 6.1K

↳ part 1 | part 3 [soon!]

Gojo’s newfound resolve was suffocating. The moment he realized the truth—that you were suffering, that you had been wilting away in silence—something inside him had shifted. He couldn’t let it go. His usual carefree attitude was gone, replaced with an intensity that left you exhausted beyond words. Every time he saw you now, he was right there—checking on you, offering his help, making sure you weren’t fading into the background anymore.

But you were tired. So tired.

You had spent so long trying to keep your head down, to hide the growing petals and the blood that came with every cough, that his sudden attention felt like too much. It was overwhelming. His presence, once something you had longed for in silence, now felt heavy, a constant reminder of how far gone you were.

After your confession, Gojo had made it clear that he wasn’t going to stand by and let you wither away. He was determined to help, to fix things, even though he didn’t know how. But that resolve, that fierce energy that he always carried, only served to remind you of how out of place you felt in his world.

Gojo was a powerhouse, the strongest sorcerer, the man who could bend the very fabric of the world to his will. He was confident, capable, and surrounded by students with talents that could rival his own in time. Yuji, Megumi, Nobara—they all had bright futures, their potential limitless. And then there was you: lungs full of blood and flowers, a cursed technique that barely registered on anyone’s radar. You had never stood a chance of catching his attention before, and now that you had, it was because you were slowly dying.

You made your way back to your room, each step heavier than the last. Your body ached with fatigue, the constant strain of the hanahaki weighing you down. The tissue box was empty, and you knew you would have to ask Shoko for more supplies soon, but even that felt like too much effort.

All you wanted to do was lie down in the dark and disappear for a while.

When you finally reached your room, you shut the door behind you, leaning against it for a moment as you let out a shaky breath. The air felt thick, your chest constricting with the familiar tightness that signaled another coughing fit. You swallowed hard, willing the flowers to stay buried for now. You couldn’t deal with another fit, not right now.

The room was dark, the curtains drawn to keep out the harsh light of the afternoon sun. It was a small comfort, the darkness wrapping around you like a blanket as you made your way to the bed. You didn’t bother turning on the lights. You didn’t need them. All you wanted was to rest, to escape the relentless exhaustion that had become your constant companion.

As you lay down, sinking into the worn-out mattress, the silence of the room pressed in on you. For a moment, you allowed yourself to breathe, to close your eyes and pretend that everything wasn’t falling apart. But the pain in your chest wouldn’t let you forget. The flowers were still there, growing larger with each passing day, their roots winding through your lungs, cracking your bones and choking the life out of you bit by bit.

Gojo’s attention, his concern—it was supposed to help. He had hoped it would help. Maybe he thought that by staying close, by showing you that you weren’t alone, he could somehow stop the disease from progressing. But no amount of resolve could stop the petals from blooming. No amount of determination could fix what was happening inside of you.

And deep down, you couldn’t help but feel like you didn’t belong in his world. Gojo was larger than life, a figure of strength and power, while you were fading away. Even now, with his attention fully on you, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were out of place. That no matter how hard he tried, nothing could change the fact that you were weak.

The tears came unbidden, slipping down your cheeks as you lay there, curled up in the darkness. You pressed a hand to your chest, feeling the familiar tightness as the flowers bloomed again, but this time, you didn’t fight it. You let the petals come, the blood staining your lips as they fluttered out, beautiful and deadly.

You had wanted Gojo’s attention for so long. You had dreamt of him noticing you, of him seeing you the way he saw the others. But now that he had, it only served to highlight the gap between you—the gulf that separated your fragile existence from his unstoppable strength.

As another coughing fit wracked your body, you buried your face in the pillow, the sound muffled but still too loud in the quiet of the room. The petals, soft and cerulean, fell onto the bedspread, a cruel reminder of the love you could never express. You wiped at your mouth, the blood mixing with the tears as you struggled to catch your breath.

Gojo was trying to help, but you were too far gone.

You curled tighter into yourself, your breath shallow as you closed your eyes and let the darkness take you. All you could do was hope that, for a little while, the world would leave you alone.

The past few days had been especially brutal—nosebleeds every time you so much as raised your head, petals blooming with every shallow breath. Your body had begun to reject even the most basic movements, leaving you bedridden, trapped in the darkness of your tiny dorm room.

You hadn’t gone to class in two days. The mere thought of leaving your bed felt impossible, the effort it took to even sit up leaving you dizzy and coughing up more blood than ever before. Your assignments, your studies—all of it had slipped away, fading into the background as you struggled just to survive the onslaught of pain and exhaustion.

The worst part wasn’t even the physical toll. It was the isolation.

You had cut yourself off completely, hiding away from the world and everyone in it, hoping that if you stayed quiet enough, no one would notice. But deep down, you knew that Gojo had been watching, keeping an eye on you even as you disappeared from his class. It was only a matter of time before he came looking for you.

It happened on the third day.

You were lying in bed, the covers pulled up around you despite the suffocating heat of the room. The curtains were drawn tightly shut, plunging the space into a dim, shadowy haze. The air was thick with the scent of blood and petals, a sickly sweetness that clung to everything. The tissue box beside your bed was nearly empty again, tissues scattered across the floor, stained with red and blue – turning almost a slickly hollow purple.

You hadn’t bothered getting up that day. Every time you tried, your head spun, and your vision blurred with the strain of another coughing fit. It was easier to stay still, to let the darkness wrap around you and pretend, for just a moment, that the world outside didn’t exist.

But then, you heard it—a knock at the door. It was soft at first, hesitant, but unmistakable.

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. Your throat was too raw, your chest too tight with the ever-present flowers, their roots winding deeper into your lungs with every passing minute.

The knock came again, louder this time, followed by the unmistakable sound of Gojo’s voice. “Hey… you in there?”

Your heart sank. Of course, it was him. Of course, he had tracked your dorm room down.

When you didn’t respond, the door creaked open, and Gojo stepped inside. The sight of him, standing in the doorway of your tiny, dark dorm room, was almost surreal. He looked completely out of place, his tall frame too large for the cramped, messy space. His usual bright, confident energy seemed dulled by the atmosphere of the room, as if the darkness had reached out and swallowed him whole.

For a moment, he just stood there, taking in the scene before him—your rumpled bed, the scattered tissues, the bloodstained pillows. His blindfold-covered eyes scanned the room, his expression unreadable, but there was a heaviness in his posture that you hadn’t seen before.

You tried to sit up, but the effort sent a wave of dizziness crashing over you, and you collapsed back onto the mattress, your chest tightening painfully. Another petal slipped from your lips, landing softly on the sheets.

Gojo’s expression shifted, and in an instant, he was beside you, his presence filling the space around your bed. “You weren’t in class,” he said, his voice quieter than usual. “Two days.”

You tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. Your throat burned, and all you could manage was a weak cough, more petals spilling from your mouth as you pressed a tissue to your lips.

Gojo’s hand hovered near your shoulder, hesitating before he placed it gently on the edge of your bed. “You should’ve told me,” he said, his voice strained. “I would’ve—” He stopped, his sentence hanging in the air, unfinished.

It was almost funny, how out of place he looked in your dorm. Gojo, the strongest sorcerer, the man who could command any room, now standing awkwardly in your dark, messy space, his usual confidence dimmed by the sheer weight of the situation.

“You’re really out of your element here, Gojo-sensei,” you rasped, the words barely audible as you tried to laugh, but the sound came out more like a wheeze.

Gojo’s lips quirked up into a faint, sad smile, but you knew his eyes—hidden behind his blindfold—didn’t reflect the usual lightness they held. “Yeah, well,” he said, sitting on the edge of your bed, “you’re not making this easy.”

You let out a small, bitter chuckle, though it quickly turned into another cough, your hand trembling as you held the tissue to your mouth. “Nothing about this is easy,” you muttered.

Gojo’s hand shifted, and for a moment, you thought he might reach out to help, but he didn’t. Instead, he just sat there, his presence oddly quiet, his usual bravado tempered by the reality of what he was seeing.

“You didn’t have to come,” you said after a moment, your voice soft, barely more than a whisper. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

Gojo’s jaw tightened, and he shook his head slightly. “Too bad,” he replied, his voice firm but gentle. “I’m here, and I’m not leaving.”

You swallowed hard, feeling another wave of exhaustion wash over you. “Why?” you asked, your voice barely audible. “Why do you care so much now?”

Gojo was silent for a moment, as if considering his answer. When he finally spoke, his voice was softer than you’d ever heard it. “Because I should’ve been paying attention a long time ago,” he admitted. “I should’ve noticed you sooner.”

You blinked, taken aback by the sincerity in his words. For so long, you had convinced yourself that you were invisible to him, that your presence in his class didn’t matter. But now, sitting here in your dark, messy room, it was clear that Gojo had noticed more than you realized.

“I didn’t want to be a burden,” you whispered, your voice shaky. “You have so much on your plate already.”

Gojo’s lips pressed into a thin line, and he leaned forward slightly, his hand finally reaching out to gently touch your arm. “You’re not a burden,” he said, his voice steady, but the emotion behind his words was undeniable. “You’re one of my students. I’m supposed to look out for you.”

You closed your eyes, feeling the weight of his words settle over you like a heavy blanket. For so long, you had felt like an outsider, like your existence didn’t matter. But in this moment, with Gojo sitting beside you, his presence quiet and unwavering, you realized that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t as invisible as you thought.

But even so, the flowers continued to bloom, their roots winding deeper into your lungs, and you knew that Gojo’s attention, his resolve, wouldn’t be enough to stop them.

Gojo’s presence in the room felt like an anchor, grounding you in a way you hadn’t expected. But even as his hand rested gently on your arm, his words filled with a kind of determination you hadn’t heard before, a harsh truth settled deep in your bones: no matter what he said, no matter how fiercely he tried to look after you now, it wouldn’t change the course of your imminent death.

You opened your eyes, staring at the ceiling, the familiar ache in your chest pulsing with every shallow breath. The petals inside you weren’t just blooming—they were taking over, suffocating you from the inside out. Gojo’s concern, his guilt, his newfound attention—it didn’t matter. It wouldn’t stop the inevitable.

“It’s too bad,” you muttered, your voice raw, barely more than a breath. “Looking out for me now isn’t going to change anything.”

Gojo froze beside you, his hand still resting on your arm, though the warmth of his touch felt distant. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze, but you could feel the weight of his silence, the way his usually unshakable confidence faltered in the face of something he couldn’t fight, couldn’t fix.

“Don’t say that,” he murmured, his voice lower now, almost pleading. “I’m not giving up on you.”

You let out a soft, bitter laugh, the sound catching in your throat as another petal forced its way up, followed by a trickle of blood that stained your lips. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t give up,” you rasped, your breath uneven as you wiped the blood away with the back of your hand. “It’s too late, Gojo.”

He was quiet again, the tension in the room thickening as you both sat in the suffocating darkness. You could feel the weight of his frustration, the way his fingers tightened slightly against your arm, as if holding onto you harder could somehow stop what was happening. But nothing could stop the flowers now. Nothing could stop the hanahaki from claiming you, piece by piece.

Gojo finally spoke, his voice strained, like he was fighting to keep his usual bravado from slipping completely. “It’s not too late,” he said, but there was something hollow in the way he said it, like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince you. “There has to be something we can do.”

You turned your head slightly to look at him, the exhaustion heavy in your limbs. The sight of Gojo—normally so composed, so sure of himself—looking utterly lost in your tiny, dimly lit room, was almost tragic. His blindfold hid his eyes, but you could see the tension in his face, the way his jaw clenched, his lips pressed tightly together. This was the strongest sorcerer in the world, and yet here, in this moment, even he couldn’t stop the inevitable.

“I appreciate it,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper, “but you can’t fix this.”

His fingers twitched against your arm, and for a moment, you thought he might argue. But instead, he let out a slow, controlled breath, his hand slipping from your arm to his lap as he leaned back slightly, the weight of the situation pressing down on him.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” he asked, his voice quiet, almost broken.

You shook your head weakly, the effort taking more out of you than it should have. “Because what would it change?” you replied, your tone resigned. “I’m just another student, Gojo. Telling you wouldn’t have stopped this.”

Gojo’s head snapped toward you, his expression hardening at your words. “You’re not just another student,” he said sharply, his voice thick with frustration. “You never were.”

You closed your eyes again, the heaviness in your chest making it difficult to speak, let alone process his words. “Maybe not to you now,” you muttered, “but you didn’t notice me before. And now that you do… it’s too late.”

The silence that followed was suffocating. Gojo didn’t respond right away, and for a moment, you thought he might leave, might give up on this impossible situation. But then, his voice broke through the darkness, softer this time, almost fragile.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

You opened your eyes, surprised at the rawness in his tone. It was rare to hear Gojo like this—stripped of his usual confidence, his playful charm, and his endless bravado. He sounded… human. Vulnerable.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner,” he continued, his voice low, barely audible over the sound of your labored breathing. “I should’ve been paying attention. I should’ve—”

“Stop,” you interrupted, shaking your head as much as your weak body would allow. “Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself.”

Gojo’s hand tightened into a fist, his knuckles white against the fabric of his pants. “How can I not?” he asked, his voice thick with guilt. “You’re my student. I’m supposed to protect you. And I didn’t.”

The air in the room felt heavy, oppressive, as you lay there in the silence that followed. You understood where his guilt came from, but it didn’t change the reality of the situation. Gojo couldn’t fix this. No one could.

“Maybe… maybe I don’t want to be saved,” you whispered, the truth of your words sinking in even as you said them. “I’ve lived with this for so long, and now… I’m just tired.”

Gojo didn’t respond right away, but the tension in his body told you how much your words affected him. He wasn’t used to losing, especially not like this—helpless, unable to fight back.

“I’m not giving up on you,” he said again, but this time, the desperation in his voice was clear. He wasn’t just saying it for you—he was saying it for himself. Trying to hold on to something, anything, that would make this feel less final.

You closed your eyes again, the exhaustion weighing down on you like a blanket. “You don’t have to give up,” you murmured. “But it doesn’t change the fact that… I’m already slipping away.”

In the darkness of your room, with the scent of blood and petals filling the air, the truth became impossible to ignore. Even Gojo, with all his power and resolve, couldn’t save you from this.

And somehow, in that moment, you were okay with that.

The silence between you and Gojo hung heavy in the room. You could feel the weight of his presence beside you, but it offered no comfort, only a reminder of the widening gap between what could be and what was. You knew he was desperate to help, but even he, the strongest sorcerer, couldn't stop what was happening inside you.

The thought stirred something inside you—curiosity, maybe desperation of your own. You turned your head slowly to look at him, eyes half-lidded, your voice hoarse and broken as you spoke.

"Can you see it?" you asked, your words barely more than a breath, your throat raw from the constant coughing. "With your Six Eyes?"

Gojo's posture stiffened slightly, but you could feel the shift in his energy. The question hung in the air, thick with meaning. You knew that his Six Eyes gave him extraordinary perception, allowed him to see cursed energy and details others couldn't possibly comprehend. But you wondered—could he see the flowers inside of you? Could he see the petals twisting around your lungs, choking the life out of you, piece by piece - if he tried?

For a moment, he didn’t answer. The silence stretched on, and you could feel the weight of his hesitation. Finally, he spoke, his voice quiet, almost fragile. “Yes.”

The word lingered in the air, a confirmation that sent a chill through you.

Gojo didn’t elaborate, but you didn’t need him to. You could picture it now—his Six Eyes, usually so sharp and all-seeing, watching the cursed energy inside of you twist and knot around the blooming flowers. You wondered if it looked as beautiful as it felt tragic. Did he see the delicate petals weaving through your body, tainted with blood and despair? Did the flowers glow in his vision, vibrant but deadly, a curse of unrequited love made visible through the lens of his extraordinary power?

“Tell me what you see,” you whispered, unsure why you even wanted to know. Maybe because it felt like the only way to truly confront the reality of your condition, to hear from him just how deep the curse ran.

Gojo was silent for a long moment, his hand resting loosely on his knee, fingers twitching slightly as though he were struggling with how to answer. When he finally spoke, his voice was softer than you’d ever heard it, almost reverent.

“I see… cursed energy wrapped around you, tightening,” he said slowly, as if each word was pulled from him against his will. “It’s like… roots, tangled and twisting, wrapped around your lungs. They’re… beautiful, but they’re suffocating you.”

Your breath hitched in your chest at his words. Beautiful but suffocating. That was exactly how it felt—both physically and emotionally. This disease, born of your unspoken feelings for him, was devastatingly beautiful in its way. The petals were lovely, but their bloom came at the cost of your life.

Gojo leaned forward, his voice more strained now. “The flowers… they’re cursed energy, too, aren’t they? Your emotions, your love… they’ve turned into something I can see. Something I can’t stop.”

You blinked back tears, the weight of his words pressing down on you. You didn’t need to look at him to know the helplessness that now filled his expression. Gojo was someone who was never helpless, someone who could bend the world to his will, yet here he was, unable to stop the flowers from blooming, unable to stop your slow descent.

“They’re… suffocating me,” you whispered, your voice cracking. “Even you… can’t stop them.”

Gojo was silent, his hand gripping the edge of your bed as if that could steady him. For the first time since you had known him, he seemed lost. There was no easy solution, no power he could wield to fix this. All he could do was watch—watch as the flowers continued to bloom, watch as your life slipped away before his very eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Again.

You closed your eyes, feeling the exhaustion creep up on you again. “Don’t be,” you muttered, your voice fading as sleep pulled you under. “Just… stay.”

For once, Gojo didn’t argue. He stayed. And for a moment, in the suffocating darkness of your dorm room, with the flowers blooming inside you, it was enough.

You lay there, exhausted, your body worn from the endless cycle of coughing and pain. Gojo sat beside you, quieter than you had ever seen him. His usual boundless energy was gone, replaced by something darker, more solemn. He had seen the flowers—seen them with his Six Eyes—and now, for the first time, he truly understood the depth of what you were facing.

But even his understanding didn’t change the reality. You were dying. Slowly, but surely.

The soft sound of footsteps broke through the silence, and you turned your head slightly as Shoko stepped into the room. Her expression was unreadable, a mix of exhaustion and something else you couldn’t quite place. She carried the air of someone who had been wrestling with a difficult decision, and the moment she walked in, you knew she had something important to say.

Gojo straightened slightly as she entered, but he didn’t say anything. He just watched her, his blindfold still in place, though you could feel the weight of his focus shifting between you and Shoko.

“Hey,” she greeted softly, glancing between the two of you. She moved to the foot of your bed, crossing her arms over her chest as she took in the state of the room—of you.

You tried to sit up, but your body betrayed you, weak and uncooperative. Shoko’s gaze softened as she saw you struggle, and she moved closer, her eyes serious but compassionate.

“I’ve been thinking,” she began, her voice calm and measured. “About your condition. About the hanahaki.”

You felt a tightness in your chest at her words. You knew what she was about to say. You had been avoiding this conversation for as long as you could, but it was inevitable.

“There’s a surgery,” she continued, her voice steady. “We can remove the flowers, the roots, everything. It’s the only way to stop the disease from progressing.”

You glanced at Gojo, but he remained silent, his expression tense. Shoko’s words hung in the air like a lifeline, a glimmer of hope in the darkness that had consumed you. But you knew the cost of that surgery.

Shoko’s eyes flickered to Gojo for a moment before settling back on you. She hesitated, then spoke quietly. “But… the surgery will take away your feelings. Your love for him.”

The room felt impossibly still, the weight of her words crashing down around you. You had known this was coming, but hearing it out loud made it real in a way you weren’t prepared for. The flowers would be gone—the pain, the coughing, the blood—but so would your love for Gojo. That deep, unspoken feeling that had been a part of you for so long, the very thing that had caused this disease, would be erased.

You looked up at Shoko, your throat tight, your voice barely a whisper. “So… I’d stop loving him?”

Shoko nodded, her gaze softening with understanding. “Yes,” she said gently. “The feelings that caused the hanahaki would be removed. It’s the only way to save you.”

Gojo shifted beside you, and you could feel the tension radiating from him, though he still didn’t say anything. His silence was deafening, and it made the decision feel even more impossible.

You turned your head to look at him, searching his face for some kind of answer, some kind of guidance. But all you saw was the same confusion and helplessness that you felt. This wasn’t something his power could fix. This wasn’t something that could be fought or defeated.

The choice was yours.

You felt a tear slip down your cheek, your mind reeling. Could you really give it up? Could you let go of the love you had held onto for so long, even though it had been one-sided? The thought of not loving Gojo anymore, of not feeling the warmth and the ache that came with caring for him, left a hollow ache in your chest. But the alternative—letting the flowers bloom until they consumed you completely—was a death sentence.

“I don’t want to stop loving him,” you whispered, the words trembling as they left your lips.

Gojo’s head snapped toward you, his expression tightening. You couldn’t see his eyes behind the blindfold, but you could feel his shock, his hesitation. He hadn’t known, not fully, just how much you had held inside. But now, with Shoko standing here offering you a chance to live—a chance to erase the very thing that had been killing you—he knew.

“Don’t…” Gojo’s voice was low, strained, as if he was grappling with what to say. “Don’t do this for me.”

You turned your head slightly to meet his gaze, though the blindfold hid his eyes. “It’s not about you,” you said softly, your voice thick with emotion. “It’s about… me. It’s about what I’m willing to lose to keep going.”

Gojo flinched, and you saw the way his fingers tightened into fists, his jaw clenched. He wanted to say something, to stop you, but he knew he couldn’t. This was a decision only you could make.

Shoko stepped closer, her expression compassionate but firm. “It’s your choice,” she said quietly. “But if you don’t do the surgery soon, there won’t be another option.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, the weight of the decision pressing down on you like a heavy fog. If you chose the surgery, you could live—but you would lose the most important part of yourself. If you refused, the flowers would take you, slowly but surely, until there was nothing left.

“I don’t want to lose this,” you said again, your voice trembling. “Even if it hurts. Even if it’s killing me.”

Gojo’s hand finally reached for yours, his fingers brushing against your cold skin. His voice, when he spoke, was quiet, almost pleading. “I don’t want you to die.”

You closed your eyes, the tears falling freely now. The choice was in front of you, clear and unforgiving.

Save yourself, but lose him.

Or love him, and let the flowers take you.

You had never felt so lost.

Shoko had been quiet after your initial resistance, but her eyes were filled with a kind of quiet understanding that unnerved you. She had known all along that this decision would tear you apart. Even now, with Gojo sitting silently at your bedside, his hand gently wrapped around yours, you could feel the weight of the decision looming over all of you.

But in the days that followed, as Gojo was called away on a mission—one he couldn’t refuse—the decision became clearer. The pain was getting worse. You could hardly get out of bed without collapsing into a fit of coughing, petals spilling from your lips more violently than ever before. Every breath felt like a battle, and every time you blinked, the world around you seemed to fade just a little more.

Shoko visited frequently. Each time she came, she brought more supplies, more medications to dull the pain, but her eyes always carried the same question: When will you decide?

And finally, after a particularly brutal day when you could hardly move from bed, your body weak and ravaged by the flowers, Shoko had sat down beside you, her voice firm yet compassionate.

“You’re dying,” she said plainly. “And I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s the truth. If you keep waiting, if you don’t do something… it’s going to be too late.”

You had closed your eyes, her words echoing in your mind. You didn’t want to stop loving Gojo. You didn’t want to lose that part of yourself, even if it was killing you. But the reality was becoming impossible to ignore.

“I’m scared,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “I don’t want to forget him.”

Shoko placed a hand on your arm, her touch gentle but steady. “I know. But Gojo doesn’t want you to die. You don’t deserve to die for this.”

Her words hit you like a wave, crashing against the walls you had built around yourself. You were so tired—tired of the pain, the suffocation, the slow withering away of your body. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way to survive this. Maybe it was time to let go.

Shoko leaned in closer, her voice soft but insistent. “You deserve to live, even if it means you have to forget.”

The decision, when you finally made it, felt like it wasn’t entirely yours. It felt like giving up. But you agreed. You agreed to the surgery while Gojo was away, telling yourself that it was for the best. He wouldn’t be there to see you go through with it, to watch you lose the love that had been driving you toward death. He would never have to know how hard it had been for you to let go of him.

The surgery came faster than you expected. Shoko was efficient, as always, and her team worked in the clinical, detached way that was necessary for something like this. You felt numb, even before the anesthesia kicked in. The thought of losing the flowers—the flowers that represented your love for Gojo—was a strange, hollow feeling. You had grown accustomed to the weight of them inside you, even as they destroyed you.

When you woke up, the first thing you noticed was the absence of pain. No more tightness in your chest, no more blood, no more petals. Just… silence.

But along with that silence came something else. The overwhelming emptiness where your feelings for Gojo had been. The love you had carried for him, the very thing that had once consumed you, was gone. Erased. You knew it intellectually, but you couldn’t feel it anymore. It was like staring at a memory that had faded beyond recognition. The edges were still there, but the warmth was gone, and the ache that once defined your every waking moment had vanished.

You were free—but at what cost?

It was a few days later when Gojo returned from his mission. You had been resting, trying to adjust to the strange new quietness inside your heart, when the door to your room swung open. Gojo stepped in, his usual lightness dimmed by the weight of the situation.

He had rushed back, that much was clear. His blindfold was slightly askew, his hair disheveled, and there was an urgency in the way he moved as he approached your bed.

“Hey, kid,” he said softly, sitting on the edge of your bed, his voice more tentative than you’d ever heard it. “I came as soon as I could.”

You looked up at him, feeling… disconnected. He was still Gojo. Still the same person who had sat by your side, trying to comfort you, trying to save you. But something was different now. He seemed so far away, like a figure from a dream you couldn’t quite grasp.

“I had the surgery,” you said quietly, your voice steady. You were surprised by how calm you felt.

Gojo blinked, his expression shifting, though it was hard to read behind his blindfold. “I know,” he said softly, his voice laced with something that sounded almost like regret. “Shoko told me.”

There was a pause, a long, uncomfortable silence as the two of you sat there. You knew what he was going to ask. He had to ask, even though you knew the answer.

“Do you… still feel the same?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. “About me?”

You looked away, your heart heavy, though not in the way it had been before. There was no pain, no aching love suffocating you. Just the quiet, empty truth.

“No,” you said softly, shaking your head. “I don’t. I don’t feel anything for you anymore.”

Gojo didn’t move for a moment. The weight of your words seemed to hang between you, thick and final. He sat there, staring at you, though you couldn’t see his eyes. You could feel the tension in his body, the realization that something irrevocable had changed.

“I see,” he murmured, his voice tight, though he tried to hide it behind his usual facade. But the cracks were there, small and painful.

You felt like you should have said something more, but there was nothing left to say. You had made your choice, and now you had to live with it. Gojo, too, would have to live with the knowledge that you had loved him once, deeply, but now, it was gone.

He stood slowly, forcing a smile, though it didn’t reach his usual brightness. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, his voice light but strained. “That’s what matters.”

You nodded, watching as he turned to leave. But before he walked out the door, he paused, his hand resting on the frame.

“I’ll still be around,” he said, quieter now, almost to himself. “If you need anything.”

And then he was gone.

The room felt emptier than before, and though the flowers were gone from your lungs, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something precious had been lost in their place.

notes: I tried to keep your cursed technique vague so y'all can pick whatever it is - If you'd like to be tagged, just let me know <3

tag list: @lily-of-my-dreams @sunnyx07 @3zae-zae3 @sashisuslover @kingshitonly @bvuckleybby @laviefantasie

©apollogeticx ⋆ all rights reserved.

[anystalker707]

What do I get in return?

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x [gender-neutral] Reader Summary: Zoro was alone in the Crow's Nest. Tags: shy zoro / jerking off / oral requested by anon

MASTER LIST

          Night had fallen a while ago, and aside from the sound of the waves, he could only hear the ship's creaking as it swayed on the sea. Whoever was at night watch wouldn’t go anywhere near the Crow’s Nest. They never did, anyway, so he didn’t think much before he started pushing his pants down just a little, just enough, breath hitching just the slightest when the fabric grazed against his cock. It had been bothering him for a while already.

Zoro let his tongue out to wet his lips and exhaled shakily while wrapping his hand around his cock, feeling a certain relief when the pleasure of the simple grip sparkled up his spine, making his cock twitch in his hand. He had to give himself a moment before he started lazily moving his hand. He pressed his eyes shut, searching his mind for a guilty pleasure that had been tormenting him lately, and his mind immediately went to the way you’d helped him earlier that week.

Zoro’s cock twitched, a bead of pre-cum escaping his tip without needing much, so he stilled his hand for a few seconds before letting his mind wander again. Your hands kneaded into his muscles with a strong yet gentle touch to help him out with some soreness, and he had to look away before his mind wandered too far and ruined the moment, but now he could fantasize about it all he wanted, dwell into that unspoken tension between the two of you.

A low sound escaped Zoro’s lips as he pressed his thumb to his tip, collecting the pre-cum and using it as lube to rub the sensitive spot right under the head. His hips bucked into his hand involuntarily, and he tried to imagine how it’d be if you were the one touching his cock instead, smirking and teasing him. Fingers leisurely working on his sensitive spots, compelling him to fall apart on your will.

With a shaky groan, Zoro tightened his hand around his cock, stroking it at a firmer and faster pace, his movements now smoother when more pre-cum ran down his length, and— You.

Zoro’s brain short-circuited as he opened his eyes and saw you right there, halfway through the hatch, observing him. His cock throbbed, and he hoped he would disappear, but he didn’t. For how long had you been there? “For how long have you been there?” He grunted, his cheeks red with embarrassment, as his hands covered his cock.

You raised an eyebrow, an elbow on the floor, and shrugged. “You don’t want to know,” you said, finally climbing into the Crow’s Nest properly, kicking the hatch closed before making your way over without stepping on the weights carelessly left on the wooden ground.

His eyes followed you, and Zoro was about to say something when he let out a questioning hum instead, furrowing his eyebrows as you stopped before him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Helping you,” you said as if it were obvious, giving him a moment or two before your lips curled into a smile at the fact he didn’t kick you out of there. “You’re always so tense. Come on, let go for a little,” you mumbled while slowly kneeling between his spread legs, and he couldn’t do anything but observe, mentally cursing everyone and everything, even himself, for how much he loved that.

Zoro found himself unable to tear his gaze away from yours. He resisted at first once your hands rested on his forearms, but he couldn’t do it anymore after your fingertips caressed his skin gently. Your touch sent a shiver down his spine, reminding him of his ache for you.

Sighing, Zoro gave in. His cock twitched—your gaze shifted the moment your eyes landed on his cock, and it somehow managed to make Zoro even more aroused. His hands fidgeted around a little before he finally let them rest on the couch, each by one of his thighs; still, he was far from relaxed. Zoro’s eyes caught on every little detail of your expression, searching for disapproval, disgust, whatever, even though he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know if there were any.

Your hand was warm around Zoro’s cock, holding the base firmly, then giving it a few tentative strokes; his legs twitched a little, and he cursed himself for being so sensitive. He bit his lip to muffle a sound, and his eyes closed compulsorily, but he quickly opened them again at your breath fanning over his cock.

“Mm?” You looked up at Zoro, your free hand on his thigh while this other gave his cock a squeeze. He pressed his lips together and leaned back on the couch, nails sinking into his palms, but all the effort seemed meaningless when your tongue touched his cock. The feeling was better than anything he could’ve made himself feel with his hands or summoned with his mind if he were otherwise to deal with his wants alone.

Your tongue ran from the base to the tip, warm and wet, with a texture that had his thighs quivering. Zoro thought he would eventually get used to it, but his body betrayed his own will, tensing up with almost every action of yours.

The tip of your tongue traced the veins on the underside of Zoro’s cock, giving attention to each one of them, and your lips wrapped around the tip. He had to take a deep breath, failing with the attempt to avert his gaze, even if the way you observed him intently had nervousness bubbling under his skin. Your mouth was warm, slowly enveloping his cock until halfway through it just to pull back again, letting the cold air uncomfortably replace it.

It felt too good. Zoro hated how much he enjoyed it, his thoughts puzzled, swimming, and he tried to hold on to mentally cursing, even though he loved it when you nuzzled his crotch while stroking his cock. Steady breathing fanned against his skin, and you were soon mouthing at his balls. His hips bucked again, cock twitching, and he wondered how you could make it feel so good. He couldn’t help the moan that escaped his lips with the sucks and licks, and it was too late when he tried to give a damn about it. You had some sort of effect on him.

Zoro’s cock covered part of your face and one of your eyes, but you still seemed to sense his gaze and look up at him. That look alone felt like a drag to the edge. He couldn’t help but moan again. His cheeks burned when your lips curled into a smirk, and he had to look away, cursing under his breath, almost back to reality again when your lips had his brain mushy once more.

Pleasure sparkled down his spine, compelling his thighs to quiver at the same time his nails sank more into his palm—the small pain was insignificant compared to the sensation of your mouth wrapped around his cock while your throat tensed up around his tip. Zoro would thrust into your mouth if you didn’t have that grip over him. Not a physical grip, no, it was just— The confidence, the skill, the way you handled him. Zoro didn’t know how to deal with that, and he preferred not to risk.

You swallowed around his cock, fingers sinking into his thigh, and you started bobbing your head, keeping a grip firm around the base. Eventually, your cheeks hollowed, and Zoro let out another moan, a louder one, arching his back. A familiar tingling took place in his lower stomach. You probably knew that, and he didn’t think he’d be able to say a word anyway. His hips bucked a little, his cock twitched, and your hand found his balls; it was like the cherry on top.

“Nngh,” Zoro gasped, hips jerking again, his mind already foggy. The moans escaped his lips more freely, filling the Crow’s Nest with low groans and panting over the slick noises, until he was saying your name and cumming down your throat. He didn’t remember the last time he had that kind of orgasm, mind-blanking and so draining, leaving his legs weak. A grumble escaped his lips as you eased him down from the climax, licking him clean, before you pressed soft kisses along the v-line by his left hip. He wanted to say something, but his mind could barely process where he was, let alone put words together to form a proper sentence.

“Come on,” you said, cutting through his thoughts. “I expect some sort of gratification.”

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

[elssero]

overheard.

k.bakugo

-in which bakugo overhears you talking about him with the girls... super whipped bakugo. cute confessions.

he knows he shouldn’t have followed him.

when sero dared him and denki to listen in on your conversations during girls night he knew it was wrong.

he knew it was wrong when he got up to follow his friend, he knew it was wrong on the walk to the room and he knows that it’s wrong now- while his ear is pressed against the door.

he doesn’t know why he followed denki- all he knows is that he’s now found himself pressed up against the wall- breathing silently as to not alert any of you of their position.

he can hear the conversation surprisingly clearly- it’s something stupid about your celebrity crushes- he wasn’t aware that girls were so.. vulgur?

“wait okay i’ve got a good one-“ it’s mina he hears- her loud voice clear as day as she begins her question- “if you had to go on a date with one of the guys in our class- who would it be?”

gasps burst throughout the room at the end of her question- giggles coming from a few of you-

he feels denki nudge his side- when he looks to the left he sees a knowing look in the boy eyes.

it’s not a secret as to who’s answer he wants to hear- it’s yours. it just so happens that almost every single one of his friends had somehow figured out about his little crush on you- everyone but you at least.

“okay okay- i’ll go first-” he doesn’t make care for minas answer, she says something about kirishima before admitting she could never actually date him- they’re too close for that. so she settles on todoroki.

gasps of surprise seem to come from the girls after that answer- “it’s not an actual crush!- he’s just handsome!”

it’s hagakure who goes next- she makes a small comment about todoroki that mina quickly agrees with before making the final decision on ojiro-

uraraka refuses to answer- teasing questions are asked about izuku- or iida? bakugo is forced to hold in a scoff.

“cmon yn! you gottta tell us!” the mention of your name brings bakugo back to focus, ears perking up as to not miss your answer.

“okay- you guys have to promise not to judge.” the excited squeals of the girls are followed with an array of promises not to judge you-

“well if i had too- it would probably be bakugo.”

his heart is beating faster than it ever has before- you just said his name. his name. out of everyone in your class you’d want him.

oh. oh.

the laughs from the girls are completely tuned out as bakugo begins to take in what you’d said. squeals of excitement are quickly turned into a bombarding of questions.

“but- why? he’s such a dick?” laughs are heard from jirou as she questions you- bakugo is too infested in your answer to take note of the insult.

“well- i guess that’s kinda what i like about him?” confused murmurs are heard from the girls surrounding you- urging you to continue.

“yes he’s loud- and obnoxious- but i guess i can’t help but find that- almost charming?”

words of disagreement leave your friends mouths.

it’s only when denki taps his shoulder when he realises his friend is still stood next to him- his jaw is dropped as he looks at the blonde. it takes him a second before he realises he feels the heat in his face- a clear blush across his features.

bakugo turns away in an instant- making his way back to the kirishimas room where they had been previously hanging out.

he slams the door behind him and denki hard- immediately pressing his back against the door letting his head fall back as he gains his breathe.

“so? what did you guys hear?” he can’t even answer sero when he asks- far too busy thinking about what you had said-

“oh- just that if yn had to go out on a date with anyone in the class, it would be our bakugo-” he could slap denki right now- if he wasn’t so starstruck.

kirishima jumps up immediately- wrapping an arm around his friends shoulders. “bakugo- man this is great! you totally have a shot!”

he wants to answer- tell his friends to shut up- but his throat feels dry and the words won’t come out, still attempting to get ahold on his breathing he shoves kirishima away from him.

“i- i fuck i don’t know how to do this shit.”

“don’t worry about it man- we’ll wingman you-” kirishima’s words of encouragement are swiftly cut off by a knock at the door. despite not knowing who it is- a pit forms in bakugos stomach.

slowly and silently bakugo moves away from the door to allow his red haired friend to greet whoever is on the other side.

“hey- is bakugo in here? i need to talk to him.” he hears your voice from his spot behind the door as he sinks into the corner, his heart rate begins to sore once again.

“yeah he’s here!” the grip on his shirt is strong as it pulls him out of his hiding spot- now finding himself face to face with you as you eye him suspiciously.

you don’t say anything as you turn away- he watches you walk without moving, feet glued to the floor. kirishima pushes him out the door whispering a quick good luck.

he follows you down the hall- you take a look around you before taking a left, seemingly looking for an empty space.

his heart is beating out of his chest so fast he’s afraid you might hear it, he watches you walking in front of him in complete silence, it feels like torture.

you stop at the end hall and before turning around to look behind him- your making sure your alone before you finally turn to look at him again.

you stare at him expectingly and he feels his stress levels rise- he needs to know what you want from him and now.

“we heard you.” his previously ferociously beating heart feels as though it’s stopped- falling flat into his stomach.

“w-what’re you talking about?” if the stutter in his usually brash voice isn’t enough- you know that bakugo isn’t an idiot, and you know that he’s aware exactly what your talking about-

“earlier- you were eavesdropping on us.” the temperature in the hall feels as through its increasingly rising- he feels the tips of his ears getting warmer the longer you look at him for.

“i-ive got no idea what your talking about.” you take a step closer to him now- he has to stop himself from scurrying away.

“so it wasn’t you outside mina’s form earlier?” a lump forms in bakugos throat- he feels pathetic, how can he manage to be so strong but completely crumble when it came to you?

“we did some eavesdropping of our own.” bakugo watches as the look in our eye changes- casting a teasing look as you continue.

“what exactly was it that you and your friends were just talking about?”

he wants to answer you- he truly does. he feels the weight of the feelings he’s had for you since last year, he wants needs to tell you.

he remembers all the stolen glances he gives you, how sometimes he would catch your eye and it would plague his thoughts for days after.

the things he wishes he could do with you come to mind, the list of spots he’s found that he’s certain you’d love- that he’d love to show you.

he thinks about how he wants to be there for you, to be the person you reach for, your safe space.

he wants to tell you.

“you- we were talking about you” he blurts it out before he can think about it properly, your eyes widen slightly, clearly taken aback.

“it’s always you.” he takes a deep breath before he continues, deciding not to rush himself.

“your the first thing i think of when i wake up- and the last thing i think of before i fall asleep. i- fuck- i think about you all the time.” he holds your stare as he continues- hoping- praying you can reciprocate his feelings.

“i can’t get you out of my head and- i’ve never felt like this before-“ taking long breath- the tension in this stupid hallway seems to only be growing before he closes his eyes.

“i like you- alot.”

silence follows his confession- bakugos eyes still glued shut as his breathes deepen, hands slightly shaking as they rest by his sides.

he opens his eyes slowly- half expecting you to have walked away before he catches the first glimpse of your face. that stupid smile plastered on it.

he takes you in fully- his eyes now fully open as you looks in you in a daze, you finally begin to speak.

“i know.” it’s almost a whisper when you say it- the weight of your words not fully settled in before his initial confused disappears- he can’t help the way that the tone of your voice makes him feel instantly comfortable.

“i like you too.”

[nekovmancer]

overwatch headcanons: how they say "I love you" with Ramattra, Reaper, Reinhardt, Cassidy and Hanzo

a bit angsty and some curse words ahead, but still sfw. don’t blame me, I enjoy the suffering and since you're still reading I bet you also do

also silly little juno was SMASHED by writer’s block again, please help sending a headcanon request, but read rules first

Ramattra

doesn’t say it at all, actually

he was shaped for violence, hands carefully constructed to murder

the sentience came with grief, sorrow, rage… but love? this big fella doesn’t even love himself, to begin with

it’s hard for him to cope with affection, to learn the aspects of it, mostly the very subtle nuances of reciprocation

but it’s you, and since you came along, this foreign feeling haunts him 

and when you say “I love you” first… he’s so silent you’re scared you’ve broken him with this three words alone

“How is it possible for you to love a being as myself?”

he feels the urge to say something back, but simply can’t vocalize the words he’s dying to say

you know he’s overwhelmed already, his pride contrasting his feelings, so you don’t push him too far: Ramattra shows you enough

but your words echoes in his systems for days

in one of these, he’s with you as he always do before you fall asleep, and the words just came out

“I may not have a heart, and even if I did, it wouldn’t be mine: it would be yours. It always has been.”

it’s not an explicit I love you

no, it’s much better

Reaper

you know what happens between you two must stay secretive

it’s… casual, if you can name it such

I mean, he comes to you every damn night, and most of them aren’t for sex, but for company 

and the cuddles, of course

you see him past the scars, the shadows… what lies beneath it as the ghost of a man 

and you love him nonetheless

despite all the danger that comes along with him being one of Talon’s counselors and a declared enemy to Overwatch

until one night, when he doesn’t show up and never let you know why

and this one night turns into tons

you’re broken, to say at least

he avoids you, not even a single stolen glance through briefings, no more missions together

you don’t know where you manage to find the courage to confront him, but somehow you do, so you’re cornering Reaper himself and demanding an answer 

“Isn’t it obvious?”

well, of course: you were dumb enough to get to attached

but he steps closer, so surprisingly close you can hear a shallow breath muffled by his mask

the shadows engulf you both before you can blink, and his ghostly touch stops just inches away from your cheek

“I’ve risked too much so far… but not you, not anymore”

you know what he means, you just wish you didn’t

he departs with a last glance over his shoulder, to never look back again 

if he wasn’t who he was, maybe things would be different

yet if things weren’t the same, you two wouldn’t even met

in the end, you’re left to grief in the graveyard he paths on his way away from you

Reinhardt

he’s a hero and will always be

but that doesn’t mean Reinhardt is invincible

that’s why you’re laying by his side, taking extra care to not accidentally touch the bandages covering his torso

you’re little injured from the last mission, a few scratches maybe

thanks to him, who jumped right into the moment to keep your head glued to your neck

per usual, he would be flourishing the battle tales and his epic acts, his thunderous laugh echoing through the HQ, but now?

the sadness contorting his face breaks your heart 

he stares down at you, one calloused thumb tracing under the thin line of the stitches on your cheekbone

“I’ve let them hurt you”

oh… so that’s it

“If I was a second late… I hate to even think of what could've happened”

he groans, retreating his hand and looking away 

if he could ever be more dearing, you would’ve exploded 

you cup his face and make Reinhardt look at you once again, reassuring him you’re here, safe and sound, thanks to him 

it takes a bit of convincing, but soon enough you hear one of his deep chuckles resonating in his chest and know that you’ll be just fine

“I will always be there to protect you, liebling, no matter what it takes. For I could never live in a world where there is no you by my side.”

Cassidy

he’s always flirting and teasing, so you would assume it’s all a joke

despite him throwing his arm over your shoulder and resting his head on yours every goddamn time he has a chance

and if you’re quiet and close enough, you can hear his fast heartbeats pulsing

maybe… he’s just affectionate, yeah

not that you see Cole like that with anyone else, but

you could never take him seriously, because he can never be serious for once

it’s always a wink here, a smooth darlin’ there

yet he never makes a move on you that gives you the clarity you need

so it’s it, an eternal what if

until one days he comes from a mission, all dirty and hurt

you’re surprised to see he came straightforward to you, still trying to catch his breath while holding to his injured side

but before you can drop any question, Cole smashes his lips against yours

and it feels holy 

he keeps you close when you break the kiss, trying to remind yourself how to breath

his breath is so warm against your face, and that familiar scent of smoke makes your knees weak

“I fucking meant everything I’ve ever said, doll”

for the way he just kissed you, you’re now sure he does 

Hanzo

Hanzo isn’t one to speak about his feelings openly

you’re actually surprised you’re now tiptoeing around some sort of serious relationship

at least, you think it’s serious since you barely leave each other’s side

it’s extremely hard for him to be vocal about his affection, though

sometimes, he would still flinch when you touch him out of blue

but he loves to run his fingers along your hair, your face…

your body is his to worship

and there’s this lazy morning, where he’s kissing your knuckles and embracing your waist…

you just feel you could melt right here, into him

until something cold circles your finger and your eyes snap open

a ring

a FUCKING ring

you stare at him in pure disbelief, eyes so wide they must pop out by any second

Hanzo shows the most loving smile you had ever seen, kissing your ring finger

that now has an actual engagement ring 

“Being with you everyday is still too little time. I wish nothing but foreverness with you”

[anniebeemine]

satisfied- s.r. x fem!reader

warnings: cheating, minor/short descriptions of sex

Spencer awoke to the soft morning light filtering through the curtains, casting gentle patterns on the walls of his bedroom. His gaze immediately settled on you, curled up next to him, peaceful and serene in the stillness of the early hour. The sight brought a warmth to his chest that he had never quite experienced before. You looked like you belonged there, wrapped in the comforter, your hair fanned out across the pillow, a soft smile playing on your lips even in sleep.

He couldn’t help but admire you, marveling at how you made his usually chaotic life feel somehow balanced and tranquil. With a tender instinct, he reached over and pulled the comforter higher over your shoulder, wanting to keep you warm and cozy. You instinctively nestled deeper into the mattress, a soft sigh escaping your lips.

It had been weeks since you had started seeing each other, and every moment together felt like a precious secret. You had slipped into his life so easily, and his bed had become your sanctuary, a haven where the outside world faded away. Every night spent in each other’s arms felt like a dream he never wanted to end.

But this morning, as the warmth of the sun began to invade the sanctity of your peaceful sleep, he felt a familiar tug of regret. He hated when you woke up, when the reality of your lives seeped in, breaking the facade that the early morning hours created. He often pretended to be asleep, hoping to steal a few extra moments with you, to savor the way you looked so content and safe next to him.

The irony wasn't lost on him. He never expected this—you—to happen. It all started that night at the bar, the same one he never wanted to go to, the one his coworkers had dragged him to after an early return from a case. Spencer wasn’t the type to seek solace in the crowded atmosphere of loud music and clinking glasses. He had sat at the far end of the bar, quietly nursing his drink and avoiding the banter of his colleagues.

Then there was you. He wasn’t sure how he had gained the courage to speak to you. You’d caught his eye the moment you walked in—confident, graceful, and absolutely out of place in that bar. It had been one of those rare moments where something pulled him in, and before he could talk himself out of it, he was standing next to you, awkwardly stumbling over his introduction.

He remembered the curve of your lips when you smiled at him, the way your eyes crinkled slightly at the corners. You’d teased him gently about looking like he didn’t belong there, and somehow, you had struck up a conversation. The details of what you talked about were a blur now, but what stuck with him was the overwhelming sense of connection. It was easy with you—something he rarely felt with anyone.

Even now, he wasn’t entirely sure how he ended up in a cab with you that night. One moment, you were at the bar, laughing at something he’d said, and the next, you were tugging him into the backseat of a taxi, your hands roaming over his chest as you kissed him with an intensity that left him breathless.

But what he remembered most vividly, the moment that changed everything for him, was the first time he had you in his bed. Your hair had been splayed out on his pillow, framing your face, which was contorted in pleasure as your back arched beneath him. One hand gripped the sheets, the other had wrapped around his bicep, holding onto him as though he were the only thing keeping you tethered to the earth. The sound of your moans, the way your body responded to him, had branded itself into his memory. He had been hooked from that day forward, utterly consumed by you.

Since then, he had all but begged to see you.

He kept his eyes mostly closed, listening intently as you shifted beside him. He could hear the soft rustle of fabric as you quietly got out of bed, the gentle creaking of the floorboards as you moved about the room. The sound of your purse being rifled through broke the quiet, and his heart sank slightly, knowing that your time together was coming to an end.

With a small crack of his eyes, he watched you as you slipped on your clothes, the way you moved with a graceful ease, almost like a dancer in a quiet ballet. His heart ached at the sight of you pulling out the delicate gold ring and sliding it onto your finger. It was a reminder of your life outside of this stolen time, a tether back to your reality. He sighed quietly, the sound lost in the stillness of the room as you gathered your things.

As you stood there, preparing to leave, he felt a mix of emotions swelling inside him. There was joy in having you close, but the looming reality of your situation tightened around his chest. You picked up your purse and paused for a moment, casting one last glance back at him, his heart racing as he held his breath, hoping you might linger just a bit longer.

But you didn’t. With a gentle sigh, you turned and made your way to the door, and he couldn’t help but let out a soft, frustrated breath, wishing things were different. As you quietly opened the door, a part of him felt like it was leaving with you, the warmth of the morning fading as the door clicked shut behind you.

He lay back against the pillow, feeling the empty space beside him, his heart heavy with the knowledge that you would be returning home to your husband. The soft morning light felt colder now, and he couldn’t shake the feeling of longing that settled deep within him. As he closed his eyes again, he tried to hold onto the memory of the peaceful moments you shared, clinging to the hope that there would be more mornings like this, even if they were fleeting.

[motley-box-rose-1]

Is venture bros worth watching? heard about it for many years but somehow allways in the background as if it was far away...

Depends. I’m not sure it’s a show that works for everyone, but for the people who DO like it? Very enjoyable. I think it largely depends on the content you’re okay with.

Like dark humor? Humor that gets gross or uncomfortable or offensive? If so, you’ll like this. I wouldn’t describe it as a show that runs solely off of potty humor or shock value though; genuinely, there is some clever writing in Venture Bros. That said, it’s still an adult cartoon with a lot of vulgarity, and definitely has a “push the envelope/what can we get away with” style.

Another factor to consider here: Venture Bros. parodies and references A LOT of different media. Pretty much every character is based off of some specific trope, classic character, or even a song. The core cast of characters are a big riff off of Johnny Quest, the Hardy Boys, macho spy tropes, G.I. Joe, and the superhero genre. And that’s just naming a few. That said, I don’t think you HAVE to know that stuff to enjoy the show. The basic idea is that Venture Bros. takes beloved icons of classic American media (usually of the more nerdy or “vintage” variety) and asks “okay, but what if there were consequences? What if we made this darker? What if we pointed out how silly this is? What if we went to the logical conclusion?” And so on.

That said, Venture Bros. Also has an emotional core. This is apparent in the first season, and even more visible in later episodes. It’s a labor of love directed at all the media it parodies. Although each character is wacky in some way and— with a few exceptions— usually a terrible person, there are grounded moments, and motivations that actually feel human. Most viewers eventually become emotionally invested in these characters. I’d say this factor even makes the humor better!

An example of this, and an overly sentimental way to reframe the series, is this: Venture Bros. is about Rusty Venture— a former “boy adventurer” who was traumatized and molded by all the crazy stuff his awful but successful father put him through— and Rusty’s sons, who are forced into being boy adventurer themselves. Other characters are— for better or worse— pulled into the family’s destructive and wacky orbit. Everyone is still affected by the “legacy” that Venture Sr. left behind.

And also there are funny jokes.

[ineffablelara]

Loki and his severe self esteem issues

Something I don't think we as a fandom discuss enough is the moment where Loki casually says "my life was a waste of time" to Mobius in s2ep6, I kinda understand that bc the finale was so traumatazing to some people that they only watched it once and tried their best to not think about it for too long

But this moment stuck with me because he says it with such calmness, there's no bite in his words, no sarcasm, no irony, he truly believes that, he thinks his whole life was a waste of time and this is so incredibly heartbreaking, at that point he already spent centuries trying to fix the loom only to learn it was a failsafe, centuries of his life wasted on a mission that lead to nothing, he probably think his life on the sacred timeline was a waste of time too, I'm so sure he'd do everything different if he could go back there, I'm sure he looks at all the things he did with so much shame and regret, a life wasted with jealousy and bitterness and acting out to get attention of others while being desperate for his father's approval and wanting to be Thor's equal

Even though he only acted that way because of his own trauma too, abandoned as a baby, adopted by a man who had a political agenda in mind when he took him and who made Loki feel unfit and inferior his whole life, raised in a society that looked down at all the things that made him him (magic, tricks, preference for diplomacy instead of fist fighting etc), Loki grew up in a hostile enviroment that only made him insecure and alone, he has severe self esteem issues and all he wanted his whole life was to be accepted and loved by his people and most of all by his father, he chased that approval in the wrong ways and now that he's mature and wiser he understands that but it's still so sad to see him talking about himself like that

He dedicated centuries of his life to doing the right thing, to saving the multiverse and making sure everyone would be safe, he made friends, he became kind and selfless and somehow he still thinks his existence was a mistake, his insecurities are so deep and internalized that I'm afraid he'll never truly be free of them, I wish someone hugged him very tight and told him how amazing and important he is, that his mistakes in the past don't define who he is now and that they're proud of how far he came in his journey

Loki's existence was the greatest gift the multiverse could've asked for, without him everyone would still be part of hwr's schemes and the tva would still be taking away people's free will, I hope his mind changed after the making of Yggdrasil and that he starts looking at himself with more compassion and love bc he deserves it more than anyone at this point

[lieutenantfloyd]

Rainbow Cereal and Morning Confessions - Cyclone x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Over breakfast, you mention something that you noticed during the previous night, only for Beau to confess something that's been weighing heavily on his mind.

Warnings: Domestic fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of kids/pregnancy, Beau had a bad childhood and is bad with emotions but he's secretly a hopeless romantic.

Authors Note: This was originally a very different fic written with my OC in mind, but I loved this idea so much I couldn't help but rewrite it to post here! Based on some headcanons I posted in January.

Read on AO3

“You talk in your sleep.” You say between mouthfuls of colorful fruity cereal. 

He eyes you sharply over his newspaper and takes a long swig off steaming black coffee. 

“No, I don’t.” He answers dryly. 

You twirl your spoon and give him a toothy grin. “Yeah, you do.” 

He sends you an eye roll before pushing his plate away and returning to his daily reading. 

Several minutes pass by without another word, but the silence between you is anything but awkward—It somehow never is.

 “What exactly do I talk about?” He asks in a low voice, and it takes all you have not to jump up and kiss him then and there. 

“National secrets, mostly.” You deadpan before quickly shoveling another spoonful of cereal into your mouth in a poorly planned attempt to stop your laughter. 

His eyebrows fly up so fast that you nearly choke. He leans across the table, using thick fingers to wipe away a stray drop of milk that escaped your mouth before leaning back into his previous position and waiting on you to regain your composure. 

“For real though, It was mostly gibberish with the occasional mention of pancakes.” You say nodding towards his plate. 

He sends you an annoyingly soft smile as a bit of color returns to his face. 

Your mind runs over his sleeping mumbles of the previous night, and you make a connection between his somniloquy and the handwritten notes you’d seen on his desk. 

“You never told me you speak French.” 

His handsome features shift into a look you’ve never seen before, and you feel his eyes scrutinize yours as if he’s deeply considering something. 

“Cajun French. It’s what my parents spoke.”

You nod softly, feeling suddenly awkward as you pick up on the unusual tone laced through his deep voice.

In the years between your first meeting and now, you have asked countless people—all of various rank and branch, along with a few civilians—about him. Your inquiries had always turned up the same. Nothing. No wife, no kids, and no known background prior to joining the Navy. He didn’t even have any social media to stalk. Aside from these intimate moments only you share with him, he’s a complete mystery. Practically a ghost.

“Were you and your parents close?” You ask softly.

“No.” He says. The finality feels sharp, but his tone falls flat. His voice feels nearly foreign to your ears.

His eyes fall to yours again, only this time they’re a confusing mix of vulnerable and guarded. You know instantly that something happened—something bad—and you choose not to push the topic any further.

You look down at your bowl, stirring the now soggy cereal around the colorful milk. He always chastises you for eating it, but it’s no different than how you nag at him for surviving off of coffee and pent up anger—a simmering rage so intertwined with him that you’ve often wondered where it stems from. Still seated in front of you, he’s staring off into space. You’re too afraid to ask yourself that question now.

“Do you want kids?” He asks suddenly. “With me, I mean.”

You nearly let out a playful—who else do you think I’d let knock me up?—but he still has that far-away look on his face, so you pause. Swallowing air as you gather your thoughts. 

“I… don’t think I’ve ever really thought about it.” You answer honestly, and he nods. 

“I hadn’t thought about it either. Not until you.” He confesses. 

“Having you in my life will always be the most important thing, but I realized that I’d probably like to be a dad.” He says. “And after I realized that, I also realized that I didn’t have anything from my own childhood to pass on to them.” 

You nod, rendered breathless by the conversation. God, he’d be a good dad. 

“Both my parents were Cajun. I remember that my mother was devoutly Catholic, and she raised me to speak French in a time when that just wasn’t what you did.” He pauses, only to resume after taking a deep breath. “I know now that they were complicated people. I choose not to think about them anymore.” He says in a voice so soft you nearly wonder if your mind made it up.

You nod along, giving him space to speak whatever is on his mind. You don’t let yourself question, aloud or otherwise, why he doesn’t speak of his father. 

“That was a long time ago—and a lot of the language is lost on me now—but I wanted something…positive…to pass on if I ever had a kid.” He confesses. 

You give him a soft smile before taking his hand across the table. 

“You’ve clearly thought a lot about this, and while I haven’t yet, I will.” You say. 

The conversation has taken such an intense turn that you felt shaky as you rose from your seat to clean up the breakfast dishes. 

You fall into a lull of comfortable normalcy, though the bits of his history he revealed hang heavy in your mind as you load the dishwasher. 

“Is there anything in particular you want to pass on? Anything I should learn…just in case?” You ask gently as you wipe your hands dry. It was a simple, genuine question, though by the gentle but shocked look on his face, you might as well have gotten on one knee and asked for his hand in marriage.

“I’ll think about it,” he says with the slightest teasing tone. 

You smile, happy to know nothing is weighing too heavy on him, and things are back to business as usual once again. 

“There’s a lot I want to tell you and more that I should, but..”

“Hey,” you say calmly “there’s no pressure. If you want to wax poetic about your entire life story or you never want to speak about it again, it’s fine. Childhoods are weird, and what matters is who you become after it all.”

He settles back into the chair, staring at you with nothing my pure adoration. Still, something has his shoulders tense, and something tells you that it’s the same thing that has words lying on the tip of your tongue.

“You’re a good man, Beau. And you’d make an amazing father.”

He rises to his seat, folds his newspaper—left over right, top over bottom, always—and drops it on the table. Cherry oak. Pretty, solid wood.

He crosses the short distance between you and kisses your head like the good man and partner he is. Without another word, he drops back into his seat and assumes his previous position, though the tension he always holds in his shoulders gives way just a bit. Sunlight has barely begun to stream in through the large kitchen windows, casting the table you are both seated at in a fresh, golden glow. A comfortable silence stretches between you as you finish the last few bites of your breakfast. He’s leaning back in his chair, legs crossed, though his left hand lays casually against the table. As the minutes pass, your hand absentmindedly brushes against his. He glances up at you over his paper, his eyes filled with warmth as a hint of a smile plays on his lips. 

“I know you hate getting up this early, but I like being able to spend my mornings with you,” he says as he encircles your hand with his own, brushing the pads of his fingertips over your knuckles.  You look up at him, your swelling as his words sink in. Aside from the daily ‘I love you’ s, Beau isn’t someone who ever verbalizes his emotions. Though he has never once held back from showing you just how much he cares. 

“Me too,” you reply. Your hand squeezes his gently, a small gesture that confirms you recognize the gravity of his admission.

The smell of his black coffee lingers in the air as you hear the world outside begin to wake up. You sit happily in each other's presence for several moments longer. The world outside the window feels far away and almost meaningless compared to the cozy safe haven of his kitchen.

Suddenly, you feel his shift and reluctantly pull his hand from yours. You glance briefly at the clock, laughing as the numbers confirm that he has only minutes before he needs to leave for work. He rinses his mug and sets it on a tea towel, leaving it to dry. He swipes his bag off the counter and leans in for a full, proper kiss this time. You smile up at him as he pulls away, knowing that no matter what his day ahead holds, the moments you shared together over breakfast will tide him over until he can come back home to you.

taglist: @marchingicenotes7 @bayisdying @princessofglitterland @bella-law @callsignaries @oliviah-25 @luckyladycreator2 @shakira-sasha @xoxabs88xox @alexxavicry @madamemelancholysstuff @paola-carter @barbiewritesstuff @dozcan123 @withakindheartx @nyx2021 @teti-menchon0604 @kmc1989

[l-in-the-light]

(Mis)adventures of Law with the Strawhats [fanfiction snippet, part 3 - the final one!]

[Links to: Part 1 and Part 2]

"Alliance?" all of them ask at the same time.

"You will find out once someone actually lands on same field" Law cuts his answer short.

"What's with that half-assed effort? Admit it, you just didn't think it through yet!" Usopp accuses him, meanwhile Luffy's eyes get their spark back.

"That's the best idea ever, I can't wait to land on same field with Torao again!"

Yamato looks at the dessert in front of him, so far not even touched. Then he takes the small spoon and digs in a bit, brings it to his mouth and his eyes grow larger. "This is actually really good. So sweet!" then he looks around the table. Law turns his gaze away before their eyes can meet, but somehow Yamato still stops at him for a moment; he can tell.

"Does anyone want to try it too? I don't know why Sanji only gave it to me"

"That's because he thinks you're a lady" Usopp replies. "And no thanks, I'm good, I have lots of salty crackers now"

"I'm also good" Brook says, still sipping his tea. Is it still the very same one since they started playing, Law wonders.

"I want!" Luffy says, but Usopp stops him just in time. "Don't give it to him, he will gulp it all down in one bite. There, you have enough snacks on the table already"

"Yeah, but I would want to try that one too" Luffy says, eyeing the dessert, but seems he finally gives up and downs a full bowl of crackers instead.

"I would want to, but I think Sanji will kill me, or even cook me, if I even try to come near it" Chopper says, because he got interested since the moment Yamato declared it was something sweet.

"He won't know" Yamato assures him and gives Chopper a spoon with quite a big bite of cake on it. He smiles when Chopper quickly catches it with his mouth and a moment later some tears spill from his eyes. "So nice~!"

And finally Yamato's eyes turn to Law. "I'm good" he finally voices out, avoiding to look at the dessert or Yamato.

"Hm" Yamato muses, but seems to leave it be.

"So, how do we play it now?" Usopp asks, because they have been playing for a bit already, but Brook literally just finished the game. "Should we make Brook start over from the beginning?"

"That's cheating, he won already" Law comments.

"Right" Usopp frowns.

"Can I play two turns instead of him?" Luffy grins, but everyone quickly cuts him off with a loud "NO".

"It's kinda not nice to play without him" Yamato says, the dessert forgotten and left unfinished for now.

"Let's just start over, I wanna win!" Luffy decides and stretches his hands to gather all the pawns.

"Then I'm out" Law retorts back and Luffy's hands freeze. He quickly retreats them back.

"Torao" he says, turning to him, his brows furrowed. "Are you in a bad mood? Why do you not want to play with me anymore?"

Law looks deliberately away. Why does Luffy have to constantly act this way? With every day he reminds him more of his little sister. Why did Law had to buy this game in the first place, now he wishes he never did.

"I had to play with you like dozens of times last night, how much more do I have to play till you're actually satisfied?" He finally blurts out. Even this line sounds like something from the past in his ears.

"Every day?" Luffy attempts and Law smashes his hand on the table in reply, startling everyone.

"You can play with other people now" he snaps.

"But I want to play with you too!" Luffy cries out and reaches towards Law's hand that's still splayed on the table. The touch is brief and barely there, but takes Law by surprise and Luffy can feel him freezing up. "Sorry" he mumbles as he retreats his hand immediately, but it's too late and Law is already on his way to the door, trembling slightly. Usopp whispers "Great, now you made him angry", but Law can still hear it.

Usopp peeks at Luffy's face and he just knows he has to do something, anything to stop this. "Let's calm down, it's just a game, Luffy will soon get bored with it anyway" but it has no effect and Usopp nearly gives up at this point.

"Wait, please!" Chopper suddenly shouts. "I had a lot of fun playing together, especially when you allowed me to roll the die for you! I… I never played any board game before! So thank you! And I'm sorry if I did something bad, I'm a dummy after all, so it's probably not fun to play with me…"

That, curiously enough, made Law stop in his step.

"I also never played before. My crew did, mostly card games, but since I don't have eyes, I couldn't join them"

"Wait, you must have had eyes when you were alive" Usopp points out, despite just a second ago feeling kinda sorry for the skeleton man.

"Oh, right. Then maybe it was one of the illusions I experienced when I spent years surrounded with their dead bodies, stranded in the Florian Triangle" he muses, and like an afterthought adds "YOHOHOHOHO".

It doesn't help at all to solve the tension, Law notes in his head despite himself. He didn't sign up to hear all those tearful stories and he for sure isn't gonna share his own one.

Yamato makes a worried expression, but then nods to himself and his eyes become clear like a cloudless sky. "This is actually also my first time playing any board game. Or any game at all, really. Since I was locked alone for almost all of my life and no one was even allowed near me"

Usopp stays quiet for a bit, his brows furrowed and he stares at the table. When he finally speaks up his voice is much quieter than the others. "I lied, I actually also never played any board games before… other kids kinda avoided me in my village. I did have dices though!" he doesn't add that he actually just picked them up from the ground after other kids most likely lost it.

"I kept them, because I thought it was a mysterious object lost by the nomadic tribe of Spotted People. Everyone knows about Spotted People, they're the ones responsible for drawings dots on everything, like skirts. They draw dots on everything that belongs to them, so if you see any dotted objects you know it means one of Spotted People was passing by. Those squares looked kinda important, so I kept the dices for them just in case The Spotted Tribe would cross this path again, searching for it."

"That's so nice of you!" Chopper says, wiping a tear with his hoof. No one comments that the Spotted Tribe doesn't exist in reality, so neither does Law.

Luffy looks at his crewmates expressionlessly, and Usopp has to actually nudge him and whisper to share his story as well. Luffy just keeps staring, but when Usopp points towards quiet Law still standing near the door, he seems to connect the dots.

"Torao!" he calls after him, his voice slightly cracking. "It's okay if you don't want to play with them. Let's play later on, just the two of us instead!"

"OI!" Usopp smacks him on the head. "What's wrong with you?! You were supposed to share your sad story about never playing games with anyone before! And what about us and our feelings?!"

"Why are you hitting me?!" Luffy replies, a bit sulky because he doesn't get it. And Law thinks that of course he doesn't. After all Luffy told him all about it already yesterday night. How he never saw a board game before, but he once played some jumping game one of his brothers drew on the sand.

"We saw some kids playing it before, but we didn't know the rules. Sabo taught us how to play, but Ace said later that those weren't the correct rules, Sabo probably thought them up, because he said earlier he also never played before. I didn't care, it was fun to do something together like that"

Luffy couldn't fall asleep and was kinda moody as the result, so Law, not really knowing what to do, simply proposed to play, because that's the only thing that came to his mind. And then he somehow told him this was the first game his parents gave to Law and his little sister. After Luffy wondered outloud how it's like to actually have parents around, Law somehow ended up playing with him till the earliest hours of the morning.

Usopp just shakes his head, and calls to Law, bringing him back to reality. "Just ignore him, he was always slightly off in the head, there's no way to fix him"

"Hey, that's not a nice thing to say!" Luffy complains.

"What you said earlier also wasn't nice!" Usopp retorted and he smacks him again. Luffy doesn't stay indebted for long and returns the favour, which makes Usopp do it again as well, and they probably would keep on doing it for longer, but Law finally turns around, sighs and just goes back to his seat.

"Do you all have to be always so dramatic about everything you do" he grits through his teeth, crossing his arms and looking at no one in particular.

"Says the most dramatic one around…" slips from Usopp's lips despite his better judgment, and he is immediately greeted with a glare promising many death threats, but their staring contest gets interrupted before Usopp can duck under the table in fear.

"Here you go!" Yamato smiles as he places a plate in front of Law. There's a half of the chocolate dessert resting on it, together with a clean spoon. Law looks at him and raises his eyebrows. "I heard there's nothing better than a make up snack after a fight!" he cheers and goes back to his own half of the dessert, finishing it up with a wide smile.

Law just looks at the plate wordlessly. He admits he feels kinda stupid over all that now, but he would rather bite off his tongue than admit it outloud.

"So, what are we doing about Brook?" Usopp returns with the annoying question. Law closes his eyes and snaps his fingers.

"He will play, as an assassin. He will go backwards, retreating his steps all the way back to the beginning" he says, not even bothering to acknowledge the puzzled looks directed at him. "And every time he will pass by another player, they get eliminated"

"Wait wait wait, that sounds scary!", "It actually sounds fun! Can we fight him off somehow??", "Yohohoho!" are comments that are soon following.

"Hold on, but then no one can reach the end goal!" Usopp points out and is greeted with a very sinister smile in reply.

"Good job for catching on that"

Luffy at least doesn't seem to mind, Chopper is still panicking, Brook doesn't stop laughing, and Yamato's mouth is just comically gaping open. Usopp for once is not giving up though.

"Or maybe" Usopp starts, pondering. "The assassin is instead a ghost. Every time he passes by someone, he starts to follow them around, like a curse! And if that person doesn't do something in particular, they have to return to the start… or they get eliminated!"

"If they don't throw two sixes in four rounds, the haunted person will have to move backwards from now on as well" Law adds. "All the way till they reach the starting point"

"Or if they roll two fours. Because four means death and eight is double death so it breaks the curse!" Usopp nods. "Wait, do we even have another dice?"

"Now we do" Law says, flicks his fingers and another die lands on the table. "You can also escape the assassin following you if you slide down a snake or go up the ladder. We can consider it a special rule that applies only when you're followed by the assassin."

"Then the ghost has to give it up and find someone else to follow around!" Usopp finishes, pointing at Brook. "But if the person who is followed rolls two twos, they become a ghost as well till they get another pair of fours!"

"Good idea" Law comments and Usopp flashes him a smile. And then extends his opened palm towards him, pausing and waiting for something. Law looks at him. "Come on, that was brilliant, high five is in order!"

Law looks at the offered palm and at his own hand. Should he…? And then slowly raises it up and leaves it hanging there in midair, not moving it any further. Usopp smacks his own hand with his, smiling from ear to ear and wiping his nose with his finger. "We make a good team!" he declares.

Before Law can take his hand away, Chopper and Luffy also join in for the high five-ing, earning themselves a groan. Law quickly takes his hand back and hides it under the table, as far as he possibly can.

"Sorry, Torao!" Luffy says and no one gets it, but Law doesn't really comment on it either. Usopp just shrugs, probably thinking it's just another of Luffy's weird things he does. Law starts to realize that's the usual consensus around the Sunny.

"So, whose turn was it?"

"God Usopp's" Law answers, which makes Usopp both flush and giggle at the same time.

"You can be God Torao as well, if you want. You earned it!" he says mercifully.

"No, I'm good" Law replies immediately.

"Suit yourself, I won't offer it to you again!" he warns, waggling his finger at him.

They roll the die, Brook finds his first victim, yohohoho-ing all the time when stalking Usopp's pawn (which was the closest to the goal) while the latter already regrets all his life choices up until this second. Taking advantage of the commotion Law places a plate in front of Luffy. It contains half of the half of the dessert.

"For me?? Really?!" Luffy can't believe his eyes and dumps everything that's on it in his mouth, which is why he has to retrieve the spoon a moment later from his rubbery maw. "Wow, it's indeed very sweet"

Yamato sends Law a smile, but it gets blatantly ignored.

"Ooff, I'm alive" Usopp wipes sweat from his forehead, he slid down a snake to escape Brook's clutches. "The ghost couldn't take me, haha" he laughs weakly. "Why did I even agree to this rule?!"

"Assassin, not a ghost" Law comments.

"It's a ghost! The Bone Snatcher! Because he will steal your bones once he puts the curse on you" Usopp insists.

"I prefer just Brook" says Brook. "Yohohoho"

"No, it's actually a villain! A marine! An admiral!" Luffy butts-in.

"A Germa" Law corrects him.

"A Germa!!" Luffy agrees, throwing his fist in the air.

"I dunno why you're talking about those bastards, but I agree about every bad word you said about them" says Sanji, as he returns to the kitchen. "Or actually, no, just don't talk about them in my presence if you want to get any dinner today" he reconsiders, after he gets back to his counter.

He then notices almost immediately an extra plate in the sink that Law shambled away. "Confess, who snatched something from the kitchen when I was away? Was it you, Law?!" he looks accussingly, knowing fully well what Law's powers could do. Law doesn't exactly agree or disagree, because he might have indeed made Sanji's life a bit harder when he sometimes snatched some snacks for Luffy between meals, just so Luffy would give him some peace. But when Sanji just gives him a stare full of daggers and past resentments, Law remains completely unremorseful.

"You need more than an extra plate as a proof" Law defies him, but before the conflict can escalate any further, Yamato raises his hand, trying to attract Sanji's attention instead.

"Sorry, it was me. I'm a big boy, so just one plate wasn't enough!"

"Oh, if it was Yamato-chan, it's alright" Sanji swoons. "I'm not apologizing to you though, even if you hate on Germa. I have no guarantee you didn't force Yamato-chan's pure heart to help you get extra food" he huffs in Law's direction. Curiously enough, just a moment later he swears when he turns on the water in the sink and it splashes all over him.

"Bone Snatcher!" Usopp still insists on his idea.

"How about Oden?" Yamato asks cheerfully like people aren't fighting and about to punch each other to push their ideas, and suddenly everyone turns to look at him.

"Oden, how nice" Chopper comments. Almost everyone else nods as well. "Oden it is!"

"Since when was Oden a vengeful ghost?" Usopp frowns, but Law just shrugs. "Oh, come on, you can't agree to this as well!"

"It's Oden" Law replies, smirking again when Usopp groans.

"I regret sharing my God title with you, I take it back!"

"I didn't accept it anyway"

At that moment Usopp notices that Law is munching another cookie and narrows his eyes.

"Liking sweets doesn't really suit you" he says, trying to get back on him, judging him with his narrowed eyes.

Law furrows his brows. "I use my brain, brain needs sugar"

"I can confirm that it's a scientific fact!" Chopper butts in, nodding his head vigorously.

Usopp is still looking sceptically at him, when Luffy suddenly shouts. "Finally! I made it on the same field as Torao again!"

They all look down on the board.

"So, what now??" Luffy looks expectantly at Law. They all do. He blinks once. Oh, right. Alliance.

"Now…" he starts and taps his finger on the board. "…we play as one team. We roll two dice, you one and me another, and we add up the number and move our pawns the same amount of fields. The alliance lasts till we roll two ones, which means we can go seperate ways from that moment again"

"What if I don't want to finish the alliance?" Luffy asks immediately.

"Then, I guess, it continues" Law answers reluctantly.

"TWO DICES?!" Usopp screams. "That's an unfair advantage, it's like rolling dice twice every round!"

"Also, anytime we step on a ladder or a snake, only one person can go up or down. That's also a way to seperate an alliance" Law adds, because he knows he needs to balance this rule out a bit.

"Eh, I don't like that" Luffy complains.

"But if we're haunted by Oden and lose to the curse, we both have to retreat our steps all the way back to the beginning, unless we manage to lift it"

"That sounds fun" Luffy cheers again.

"What about the end goal?" asks Usopp, who is now munching on a cookie which he wouldn't touch before, suddenly crackers long forgotten for some mysterious reason.

"Only one person from the alliance can win" Law clarifies.

"How will that be decided?" Yamato asks.

"I will tell you once we get to that situation"

Everyone but Luffy protests.

"That sounds like an adventure!" he snickers.

"What's with that shtick of yours and witholding the rules! I protest! Come on guys, join me in my rebellion!" Usopp tries to rile up the crowd, but they all decide it's not worth it, because who cares, it's still fun. Law sneaks him a small V sign in his direction, which is Usopp's last straw.

"Fine, you want to play this way, then we will add some mines to the board!" he says, maniacally munching on the cookies, sugar rush probably getting to his head as he leans forward, fishing out a pen out of nowhere and coloring one, two, three, four fields completely black before Law reacts, at first trying to catch his hand to stop him, but in the end he just snatches his pen away, using shambles. "Hey, I wasn't done yet!" Usopp complains.

"That's enough already" Law huffs. "Returning people to the beginning all the time is poor balance, it will just make everyone frustrated all the time"

"So what? My luck is flawless and I will laugh at them all the time!"

"What a petty reason"

"It's done already, so deal with it!"

"Think of something else for the mines"

"Guys" Luffy interrupts them. "How about whoever steps on that black field jumps in the air?" he proposes.

They both look quizzically at him.

Luffy simply puts a pawn on that field and flips the board up so the pawn flies in the air (together with all the rest of them) and then lands back on board in a completely different spot. "An earthquake, shishishi!"

"Now you made a mess" Law comments, looking at the board, no surprise in his voice.

"I don't remember where was my pawn located before… How could you Luffy??" Chopper laments, but Luffy only laughs more.

"You basically destroyed the game, you know" Usopp criticizes, but Yamato and Brook look at each other and only laugh. "We can't play like this"

That caused a brief silence. Luffy is scratching his head, about to open his mouth and say something, but Law stops him.

"This doesn't destroy anything" he bluffs. "You just have to start over from the spot where your pawn landed on. And if it landed in the middle of a ladder or a snake, you put them up or down accordingly."

They all look at him like he just saved a world on his way back home from a grocery trip while not forgetting to buy the milk in the process. He has a hard time trying not to cringe.

"What about the pawn that fell off the board or beyond the borders?"

"Just put them on closest fields" he said, taking one of the pawns that completely fell off to the table, pondering. Putting it back on the start seems a bit cruel, but he guesses it can't be avoided…

"Just toss it in the air again, wherever it lands will be it's new field!" Luffy says, snatches it from Law's hand and demonstrates. The pawn fell slightly to the left from the middle of the board. "See, it works out!"

Everyone leans forward to find their new respective spots for their pawns, besides Law who catches Sanji frowning as he steals a peek from his counter. He also didn't miss the way Sanji stared at the board earlier on and Law looks towards the door, lost in his inner world again. He thinks back to their lunch, when everyone was here as well.

"Eh, but what about our alliance?" Luffy suddenly remembers and looks expectantly at Law who returns his attention back on him.

"We still roll both dice and move the same amount of fields"

"Oh, so it's not affected, good" Luffy practically beams, like suddenly something heavy was lifted from his chest. "So we just have to meet up again, shishishi"

"You know it will be harder now that you will move exactly the same amount of fields each round, right?" Usopp asks, taken aback by Luffy's carefree attitude.

"It will be just more challenging, is all! That's nothing for a future king of the pirates!" he cries out. "Also, it can't be helped"

"Indeed" Law says, looking at him. "It was an earthquake, after all"

Luffy chuckles. "Exactly!"

They keep on playing for whole afternoon, Yamato becomes Oden twice and seems to enjoy it more than the regular gameplay, chasing after Chopper who escapes all the way back to the beginning from him before he realizes he's safe already, Brook gets released from his Oden curse by two twos and is close to the goal again. Red and blue pawns mysteriously meet again by a chain of random circumenstances of Law escaping from the Oden curse up the ladder and Luffy sliding down a snake. They're seperated exactly by five fields now.

One die, the one that Law threw, shows a two. Luffy's die swirls a lot and seems to have stopped on five, yet it somehow flipped to show a three instead.

"I saw it!" Usopp shouts, pointing an accussatory finger in Law's direction. "You manipulated Luffy's dice so it lands in the way you want it to!"

"You saw nothing" Law comments back. "And you have no evidence that I ever cheated"

"Wait, why does it suddenly sound like you were cheating all this time??"

"Guys, Brook won again" Chopper complains worriedly. "Does it mean the game is over again?"

"No, we're playing to see who's last now" Law reminds him, ignoring Usopp's question and avoiding his long nose proding towards him.

When Luffy and Law, still somehow in an alliance, reach the goal together, they all finally learn how it will get decided who will be the first and who the second.

"We take the dice, throw it the hardest we can, and whichever one lands closest to the board wins" Law's lips curl up, smile sharp like razor blades, and everyone feels the chill run down their spine at the sight. Luffy laughs and everyone take it as a sign that now is the time to duck under the table, the fastest they can.

Law wasn't kidding when he said "the hardest they can", both of their dice bumped all over the place and hit the ceilling, till finally Luffy's one lands in the pot on the stove, while Law's one bounces off of Luffy's head and rolls away to some corner of the room.

As the result Sanji throws them all out of the kitchen angirly and threatens they won't get any dinner today.

"We need to play like this every evening! After Sanji is no longer in the kitchen" Luffy declares as soon as they're on the deck.

"Without me" Law deadpans, because how dare he decide that on his own again.

"Why?? Usopp, do something, make him agree!!"

"No way, convince him yourself, if I do anything he's gonna murder me in my sleep tonight"

"You bet I will"

"Scary!!" says Usopp as he hides behind Luffy who just laughs like it's all a funny joke, because Torao is always so funny.

----------------------------------

Later that evening, Sanji is still preparing some snack for Franky who finally managed to sit down after a whole day of making some inventions and repairs. Nami and Robin are chatting at the kitchen table, and Zoro is lying down on the sofa under the window.

"What's that?" Franky asks, noticing a cardboard box sitting on the table. "Isn't it that snakes and ladders game they played before?"

"What?" Sanji sounds alarmed as he peeks over from the counter. "I was sure I threw it out together with all those rascals"

"Oh, so that's the game they were playing" Robin looks curiously when Franky opens the cover. "It looks rather simple"

"It might look this way, but they invented shit tons of new rules" Sanji grumbles, unquestionably thinking back to all the chaos they created in his precious kitchen.

"They did? What kind of?" Franky inquires, taking out some pawns and two dice.

"Whoever finished first was an assassin chasing other pawns down on their path, I think" Sanji says, waving his hand dismissively.

"Oh, how interesting" Robin smiles.

"What are those black fields?" Nami asks.

"Now that you mention it, I have never seen those before in that board game" Franky shrugs.

"They shook the board, scattering all the pieces randomly around whenever someone stepped on one of those" Sanji explains.

"That's surprisingly inventive. Was it Usopp's idea?"

"I think it was actually Luffy's"

"Huh"

"Okay, you're the orange one" Franky hands Nami the pawn. "And you're gonna be green" he turns his head towards Zoro, placing his pawn at the start.

"What? I'm not playing any games" Zoro protests.

"Neither am I" Sanji warns Franky before he can move on to give him a pawn as well. "I only told you about those rules because my beloved Nami-swan asked me"

Zoro looks at him. "Ah, you're just afraid to lose to me"

"WHAT"

"Come on, guys, let's play. It feels so nostalgic, I didn't play this game in forever. They left it here, we can as well play as we wait for our snacks. Sit down here, Zoro"

"Only if you make the stupid cook play"

"I'm not playing!" Sanji shouts. "Why are you here anyway? Aren't you on the watch tonight?"

"Torao took over for me today, actually, so I'm bored"

"Great, then go to bed early like a manchild you are!"

"Sure, if you declare my victory by default" Zoro snickers, moving on from the sofa to the table, and patting the chair next to him. "Come on, don't be a coward"

"The hell will freeze over faster than you will see me playing a stupid board game with you!"

Nami sighs. "Come on Sanji, Franky says it's more fun with more people"

Sanji looks at Nami, his swirly eyebrow flying all the way up on his forehead. "Fine, roll for me until I'm done here" he sighs. "Just so you know, I'm doing it only because Nami-swan asked me to" he clarifies, making a face at Zoro.

"Keep telling yourself that" Zoro smirks.

Soon, they're all sitting down at the table, few of them laughing and others sighing when Zoro somehow manages to turn himself around a few times, earning multiple scoldings from Sanji in the process.

"This is actually first time I'm playing any board game" Robin shares after a while.

"Me too actually. We didn't have any money so we couldn't really play any games" Nami muses. "This is surprisingly rather fun. I was gonna just join you all so Franky doesn't feel lonely"

"Oi thanks, I super appreciate that!" Franky shows her thumbs up. "Did you two ever play before?"

"Nah" Zoro answers.

"You probably only trained yourself stupid even as a child" Sanji comments.

"You bet"

"And you, Sanji?"

"I…" he says, taking a longer exhale of his cigarette. "I only watched my brothers play it before. They played it so often that I memorized the rules just by looking at them. That was before father found out and threw the game away"

Nami shared some condolences with him. He just waved them off, because he was too distracted by stupid marimo attempting to climb the snake from it's tail.

Meanwhile, just outside the kitchen, Law leans on the wall, standing there quietly. After some time, he shambles himself away to the crow's nest, where no one could see him smiling ever so slightly to himself.

[accio-sriracha]

The Time Remus Lupin Got Drunk.

A Wolfstar Oneshot.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The Marauders were going to a party. Usually the way things go down is quite simple:

Sirius gets drunk first, the lightweight of the group who always drinks too much too fast and literally will not shut up for the rest of the night.

Next is Peter, who doesn't drink nearly as much as Sirius, but isn't very good at holding his liquor if we're being honest. He'll spend most of the party on the floor playing chess or in the bathroom throwing up. No in between.

James stumbles after him in third place, definitely not a lightweight but somehow always slamming down enough shots of firewhiskey to do the job. He spends a good percentage of his time trying to get Lily Evans' attention.

(Somehow even drunk he's still a perfect gentlemen and knows his boundaries. *cough, cough* it's not that hard *cough, cough*)

Remus has never gotten drunk in his life, except for once at the beginning of seventh year, but we don't talk about that.

He will spend the majority of the party babysitting his friends: bringing Peter water and crackers, telling Sirius that no, it's not a good idea to visit McGonagall right now, and asking James to please find his shirt, she's not any more impressed by his abs now than she was six years ago.

Today, however, was going to be different.

You see, the Marauders had a plan, a plan like none they'd ever come up with before.

Today: Sirius, Peter, and James were not going to get drunk.

Remus was.

Most of the reason Remus never got drunk in the past was simply because it was a hard feat to accomplish. Partly because Remus had a pretty high tolerance for alcohol, and partly because of the whole werewolf thing.

He would have to drink a lot of firewhiskey to get to the point of slurring his speech.

And the second reason was Remus' refusal of being unaware of his surroundings in public. He felt too vulnerable, it didn't feel safe.

He made a joke on the way to the party they were going to tonight that he would only agree to get drunk if the others agreed to stay sober.

Obviously he hadn't been expecting them to actually agree.

But for whatever reason, his friends were far too eager to see him drunk.

So in they went, mixing into the crowd awkwardly, with Remus huddled between them all like a very tall child.

"Here." James filled a red cup with firewhiskey and passed it to him, "We should get started early, this will probably take a while."

Remus let out a resigned breath and accepted the cup from him, downing the liquid in one go. He cringed at the taste,

"I don't know why people insist on doing this. I don't see how this is pleasant at all."

Sirius shrugged, "It's fun? Takes your mind off things for a little while."

"Obviously not the case for somebody." Peter snickered, nodding his head towards James, "All he can ever think about is Evans, drunk or not."

"Hey!" James called, picking up a cup and pretending to toss it at him. Peter squeaked and jerked out of the way.

Remus snagged the cup away from him, "And you expect me to trust you lot to take care of me?"

James rolled his eyes, "Obviously we'll take this seriously, Moony."

Sirius nodded, "Especially me." He agreed solemnly. James scowled at him and turned back to Remus with an earnest expression,

"If you don't want to, we really won't force you, Moons. I know you don't like feeling vulnerable. Everything is your decision here."

Remus sighed, "It's alright, one night won't kill anyone... hopefully."

And you know... the whole werewolf thing.

If he was being honest, of course he trusted them to take care of him. They'd been doing it every month since third year.

The only issue was his filter, or rather, his lack of one.

After his second cup Sirius grabbed his free hand and dragged him over to the center of the room, "Drunk enough to dance yet?" He asked, raising his voice over the music.

"There isn't enough alcohol in the world." Remus called back.

"You don't know that. Drink up." James cheered, a cup held out to Remus.

Merlin he was going to be drinking a lot of alcohol tonight.

He turned back to face Sirius,

"So this really doesn't bother you? All the noise and the people?" He asked. Sirius shook his head,

"Not normally. I always have you guys with me, and sometimes it helps being surrounded by all this. I'd rather be too busy to think than sitting alone in silence, y'know?"

Remus nodded, he knew Sirius hated silence more than anything.

James switched out his cup again, "Alright, Moons, another round down."

"What is this, four in five minutes? You trying to kill me, Prongs?" Remus muttered, drinking it anyways.

"Mate... That's fucking terrifying." Sirius replied.

James laughed, "I have much subtler ways of doing that, Moony, don't you worry."

"Is this gonna be a long night or what?" Peter said. They all nodded in agreement.

"Hey, why don't we speed this up a little?" James asked, tapping the wand in his pocket. Remus' eyes shot wide open,

"No. Absolutely not. Do you remember what happened to Sirius last time you used that spell?"

James waved a hand, "Oh, that was nothing. He's always like that."

"He bawled his eyes out and tried to kiss a suit of armor." Peter raised an eyebrow, "Even drunk he's got a bit more dignity than that."

"Yeah but he's also like horrible at drinking. Maybe it'll work better with Moony since he's got a better tolerance."

"Hey!" Sirius pouted, "I can drink just fine, thank you."

James snorted, "Whatever you say, mate."

Remus ignored them,

"I don't know, Prongs. I'm not really sure. It's a little... experimental, don't you think?"

"What about us isn't experimental?" James countered, "You know how many charms laws we broke making that fucking map?"

Peter shook his head, "No, c'mon man. Don't make Moony your test dummy. It's his second time drinking. We'll try it out some other time."

James shrugged and waited for him to drink before giving him a new one, "Your loss. Now you're stuck filling your cup all night."

Remus downed it again, looking bored, "You know what, you're right. I'll be over at the drink table. I should probably stick closer to the source, yeah? Let me know if you need anything." He told them, walking awkwardly through the crowd.

"Hey Alice." Remus smiled, when he finally reached the table, resigned to drink until he began to feel the 'buzz' the others kept referring to, "How's everything going?"

"Not bad, you?"

He shrugged, filling his cup, "I suppose I could be worse."

"Are you... drinking?" She asked incredulously, "I've never seen you drink before."

He sighed, "Yeah, and you probably won't ever see it again."

"Someone feeling a little dangerous today?" She teased. He tipped back his cup, wrinkling his nose at the heat that settled uncomfortably in his chest,

"Hopefully not."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching the people around them.

"Where's Lily? Did she come?" He asked, Alice nodded,

"I don't actually know where she and Regulus went, but I know I saw them earlier."

"Wait, Regulus and Lily?" He questioned, "I didn't know they hung out."

She gave him a vague shrug,

"Yeah, none of us really know him that well, just you guys and Sirius. But he and Lily have this thing where they always sit next to each other at parties, they try to keep each other in check. Nerd stuff, I guess."

"Huh..." Remus took one last drink before standing up from his seat, "I've gotta go, thanks for the chat."

She nodded, "Yeah, see you around."

While Remus was busy being a wallflower, James and Sirius made their way to the other side of the room. Sirius grabbed Regulus' attention and waved him over,

"Hey, Reg. Bigger turn out than usual, right?" He asked. Regulus nodded,

"Yeah, there's hardly anywhere to sit anymore." He looked around for a second, "Your friend throw up yet?"

Sirius laughed, "No, Pete's fine. We're actually staying sober today."

Regulus rose an eyebrow at them both, "I find that very hard to believe."

"Hey, Regulus." James smiled.

"Potter." He nodded curtly.

James pouted, "Don't I get a warmer greeting? We've known each other for years now."

"Maybe you will in a few more years." He replied smoothly, taking another leisurely sip, "How's the courting coming along? Sing any songs to her yet?"

James looked confused, "Who?"

"You know, the love of your life."

His face went a deep shade of red, "What?"

"Evans?" Regulus was amused now, "Salazar, Potter. Seriously, how much have you had?"

"None." Sirius frowned, turning to face him, "What's up with you, mate?"

James only shook his head, "I've gotta go."

The pair watched him dissappear quickly into the crowd.

"The hell was that about?" Regulus asked.

"I've got no clue." Sirius rubbed his forehead, "But it's definitely weird."

"Pete." Remus sighed when he found him, tapping his arm to get his attention, "Come here, I have to ask you about something."

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Remus was weaving his way through people again, trying to keep his drink from spilling as he was bumped around.

They walked to the far corner of the common room. Peter looked concerned,

"Are you alright?"

"It's about Prongs." He started, keeping his voice low so the music would drown them out.

"Prongs?" He repeated, "What's wrong, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, he's fine. It's just-" He glanced around to make sure nobody was listening, "Do you ever think he acts a bit... strange at parties?"

Peter snorted, "You mean when he's drunk? Yeah, I'd say he's a little different than normal."

"No, I mean like- we've seen him drunk before, right? He isn't usually so over the top when it's just the four of us."

Peter nodded slowly, "Right."

"But when he's here, he gets all weird."

"Well yeah, because he's trying to impress Evans."

"But isn't it strange that he stopped hitting on her around the castle years ago but still hits on her when he's at parties?"

"Alcohol destroys your filter, man. Maybe he's just really good at pretending to not care."

"Or it's something else."

Peter watched him for a moment, a sudden suspicion in his eyes, "Are you drunk?"

"What? No, Peter, listen-"

"Hey, what's all the whispering about?" Sirius asked, walking up with James and Regulus on either side of him. James' face was red.

"I think Moons is getting a little tipsy." Peter laughed. Remus rolled his eyes,

"Shut up, Wormtail."

"Seems perfectly normal to me." Regulus joked, "Sarcastic as always."

"Remus isn't sarcastic when he's drunk." Sirius offered, "When I saw him he was-"

Remus shot him a look and Sirius stopped talking immediately.

"You never did tell us what happened." Peter said, glancing between them.

"And we won't." Remus cut in before Sirius had the chance, "That's between Lily, Sirius, and I."

"Wait Evans was there too? I thought it was just you and Padfoot when you got drunk?" James asked. Sirius' eyes widened,

"Maybe it's best if we drop the subject, yeah?" He gave Remus a pointed look.

"Why won't you say what happened?" Regulus asked, curious himself now as he looked to his brother.

Remus swallowed hard, clearly uncomfortable. Sirius cleared his throat,

"Finish your drink, I want to dance."

"So commanding." Remus grumbled, even as he lifted it to his lips without hesitation.

Sirius stepped up close and placed a finger underneath the cup, meeting Remus' eyes as he tipped it back.

Remus was... well let's just say he was a little more awake now than he was a moment ago, his entire body humming with electricity at the look in Sirius' eyes.

He finished the drink, throwing the cup onto the floor,

"Fine." He took Sirius' arm and dragged him back into the crowd of people.

"What the fuck just happened?" Peter laughed. James shrugged,

"It's them, when do we ever know what's going on?"

Sirius stopped when they reached the center. Remus rose an eyebrow,

"So...?" He started.

"Yeah." Sirius laughed softly. He wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, like you would if you were slow dancing. The song was the exact opposite tempo, but neither of them really cared enough to notice.

"I'm not upset about what happened that night." Remus told him as his hands wound around Sirius' waist, "I know I made a big thing about it, but I don't blame you."

Sirius' head was shaking before Remus even finished his sentence, "It was your first time drinking, Moons. I should have been more aware of what was going on."

"I told you I'm not upset." Remus protested.

"I know, I just don't believe you."

"Would you like me to get Lily? She'll be glad to tell you every thought I shared with her about it."

Sirius cringed, "Merlin, no thanks. I'd honestly rather die than rehash that with Evans again."

"It wasn't that terrible."

"Says you! You didn't do what I did!" He laughed.

"Well nobody forced you to do what you did either!"

"It was kind of implied." Sirius gave him a sly smile.

Remus scoffed, "Okay, first of all-"

"No, no, no! You cannot deny that. You would never have done it." He cut him off.

Remus sighed, "Fine... Maybe you're right."

"Maybe?" He raised an eyebrow. Remus laughed,

"Okay, you're absolutely right. I would never have done that. You have my gratitude for taking one for the team."

Suddenly he was smiling again, "It wasn't that terrible." He mimicked.

"You want me to tell her you said that?" Remus asked, pretending to pull away to go find her.

"Don't you dare!" Sirius laughed as he jerked him back into the embrace, making them press fully against each other on accident.

"Oh." Remus whispered. Sirius took in a sharp breath,

"Oh." He repeated.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Over by the drinks table James, Peter, and Regulus were still talking.

Peter was stuck between watching Sirius and Remus, and watching Regulus and James.

He couldn't deny it now, James was weird at parties. Even though he wasn't drunk like he normally was, Peter could still hear that tone in his voice, see the look in his eyes that meant he was totally and completely whipped.

Only... Lily Evans wasn't anywhere around.

He glanced back at Remus and Sirius to find something had shifted dramatically in the few seconds he'd looked away.

They stood, holding each other tightly, staring into each other's eyes. Peter could feel the tension from across the room. He felt his own eyes widen quickly looked away to give them privacy, accidentally staring at Lily Evans instead.

"Hey, I'll be right back." He told James and Regulus, who were currently in a heated argument about the best quidditch play from the world cup this year.

Neither of them replied so he just walked away, coming up to sit down beside her.

"Hey, Wormy." She smiled. He smiled back,

"Hey, Evans. This is a great party."

She chuckled, "Yeah, it's interesting to see you actually a part of it."

"Hey, my chess games were top notch." He laughed. She bumped their shoulders together,

"And so were your bathroom hogging skills."

"Touché."

She glanced towards Sirius and Remus,

"Do you see them?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah, I was watching them earlier. It's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah. They deserve to be happy."

"You think they'll make each other happy?" He asked, a little hopeful.

She nodded, her voice was certain, "I do."

"What ever happened between the three of you? Remus refuses to tell anyone, all we know is that it was the only time he ever got drunk."

She snorted, "Merlin, that is really not my story to tell." She smiled at him, "But I can assure you that I know they'll make each other happy."

"You had sex with one of them, didn't you?" He asked. He could see it in the blush that formed on her cheeks.

She looked away but didn't deny it.

"Well, shit. That's one hell of a first drunken experience." Peter muttered.

"I think it was a lot more than just one first experience." She nodded towards the pair again, "If you know what I mean."

"No way." He gasped, "Did they..."

She held her hands up, "I don't know anything, alright? According to this conversation I was too drunk to remember that night."

Peter blew out a long breath, "Noted."

Lily sipped on her drink leisurely, just like Regulus always does. This reminded him of something he noticed earlier,

"So, do you and Regulus know each other well? I saw you guys together when we first got here."

"Oh, kind of. We only hang out at parties. We're like each other's safety net in a way, we make sure nothing goes wrong and that neither of us gets too messed up."

"I don't know, a few years ago probably. It's been a while." She shrugged.

"When did that start?" He tried to make the question casual. Something about the way she said it reminded him of what Remus had said earlier. 'Or maybe it's something else'.

"So you guys always sit next to each other?"

"Mhmm." She glanced around, a slight frown on her lips, "Except today apparently. He went of with Sirius and he hasn't come back yet."

Peter nodded, letting it finally sink in.

Everything James did when he was drunk was always in her direction, the singing, the confessions, the love-sick puppy dog eyes.

But it wasn't ever at her, was it?

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"Can I ask you something?" He spoke quietly. Regulus eyed his hand but didn't shake him off,

The others had gone off to their separate conversations, leaving James and Regulus alone. James hadn't even noticed Peter leave.

Regulus had ended up winning their quidditch argument, pulling out a trump card James hadn't thought to bring up. He was impressed, his smile wide and genuine. He liked that Regulus wasn't just as passionate as he was.

They stayed quiet for a little bit, Regulus sipped on his drink and James tried to look at anything else, not wanting to get caught staring.

Eventually he couldn't take it anymore.

James turned completely to face Regulus, touching his shoulder to get his attention,

"Shoot."

"Everyone always tells me that my... 'courting' is over the top when I'm drunk. Is it really that bad?"

Regulus' lips twitched up in a smile, "It's not terrible. Some people find it endearing."

There was something different in James' expression when he asked, "Would you happen to be one of those people?"

Regulus watched him for another long moment before he answered, "I guess you could say that."

James nodded and looked away. He never moved his hand, Regulus didn't either.

"Do I ever say a name?" He cleared his throat, "Like when I'm... I don't know, people say I confess things. Do I ever say who I'm talking to?"

Regulus thought back to everything he remembered about Potter's attempts at flirting,

"I'm not sure... No, I don't think so. You did get the color of her eyes wrong one time, Lily laughed about it for like a week. It's hard to forget that they're green. But then again, you were really drunk so nobody blames you."

"What color did I say?" James asked quietly. Regulus looked at him then, the intensity in James' voice throwing him for a loop,

"You said gray."

There was a long pause before James looked up at him too. His eyes searching Regulus' own, like he was memorizing them.

"I meant it."

Regulus was confused for a moment, then he realised that was his eye color. James must have been talking about his eyes.

He froze, but then...

Oh.

Oh.

"Potter?" Regulus suddenly couldn't remember how to speak. James swallowed hard,

"Yeah?"

"It was... Lily you were speaking to all those times... right?"

James shook his head slowly.

"Who was it?" Regulus' question was a whisper.

James finally moved his hand, though instead of dropping it, he lifted it up to hover over Regulus' cheek,

"Do you really need me to answer that?"

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"Sirius, I-" Remus looked away, his head spinning slightly, "I think I might be a little drunk."

Sirius' fingers dug into his shoulders, "How drunk?" He murmured. Remus' eyes held something deeper in them when he replied,

"Not so much that I don't know what I want."

"What do you want, Moons?"

The question was never answered.

It took them mere seconds to make it to the stairs leading up to their dorm.

They shut the door behind them, laughing and clutching onto each other as they caught their breath.

"Can I admit something to you?" Remus whispered, his eyes bright with excitement, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that night."

Sirius nodded, "I know how you feel."

"I- I want you, Sirius." Remus turned to face him, holding his hands between his own, "More than that, I... I want to be with you."

"With me?" Sirius questioned. He refused to get his hopes up.

"I think I'm in love with you." Sirius blurted out. He wasn't exactly sure why. He wasn't even drunk. Remus didn't seem to mind, his small smile turned brilliant,

"With you." Remus repeated, "I want everything, Pads, I- I want a life with you. I always have."

And if Sirius had any ounce of self control, the dazed look in Remus' eyes and his small giddy smile was enough to shred it to pieces.

"I think I'm in love with you too." He whispered.

And those were the last words either of them spoke for the rest of the night.

Remus Lupin would always remember the only two times he'd ever gotten drunk. But not for the reasons you would expect.

[typicalopposite]

Thanks @priincebutt for the tag 🫶

slowly making my way through chapter 7! 🫠 sorry this has become my whole personality lately 😂 this is my main fic at the moment!

“Kinard!” Captain Collier calls from his office, nearly causing Tommy to drop the laptop he has meticulously balanced on his (extremely, dreadfully, embarrassingly) large belly. He has long since been able to comfortably do anything at his desk— the bump getting in the way, and sitting at an angle hurts his constantly aching back— so he has been using the bump instead… God knows it sticks out far enough anyway. He lifts the laptop off, and sets it on the table; crumbs from the bag of chips he was eating topple from his shirt to the floor when he stands. He frowns at the mess and grabs the broom he keeps close by (this happens often) and sweeps them into a pile. “Tommy?” Collier repeats softer this time, poking his head out of his office. 

“Uh, come— coming Cap!” He tries in vain to bend and reach the dustpan. He holds on to the desk for support but he feels like he’s going to tumble forward every time he starts to lower himself. Then he sits back down and tries again… still with no success; he even tries to flip it onto the broom and balance it up to the desk.

“Let me,” Collier says, now beside him. He takes the broom then bends down and sweeps the crumbs into the dustpan. After he throws the crumbs away he straightens back up and sits on the edge of Tommy’s desk. “Tommy…” he says again, and just from the look on his face, Tommy already knows what he’s about to say. “Listen. I know you want to work up until you deliver, but I really think it’s time.” Tommy can feel his mouth pulling down and Collier sighs.  “Hey… come on, don’t do that.” 

Tommy is trying desperately not to humiliate himself by ‘doing that’— i.e. crying— but it has gotten so much harder lately. He feels huge, and heavy, and tired, and sore all the time! All that meshes together and has made him somehow even more emotional. 

“What did you do to him, Cap!?” Lucy gasps, walking into the hanger. 

Collier sucks at his teeth and pushes off the desk. “I didn’t do anything but suggest he make these last weeks easier on himself.” 

“Well,” Lucy says… more so to Tommy. 

“Not you too, Luce?!” Tommy feels his pout deepen. 

Lucy laughs, and comes up behind him, squeezing and massaging his shoulders before wrapping her arms around him. “Don’t get me wrong, work will suck without you, and I am going to miss you so much; I don’t want you to leave…” she says. “I just want you to get some rest… you know the whole cliche you better sleep while you can because you won’t once baby is here— except you’re gonna have two babies keeping you up, and I honestly can’t remember the last time you’ve come to work and not looked exhausted… you’re overdue for some rest.”

Tommy would argue, except he knows he can’t; she’s right. The twins are growing beautifully, which makes him so happy and relieved… and massive, and miserable. He isn’t upset at the weight he’s gained, he is confident in himself enough to know he can lose it once they're born (and honestly even if he doesn’t lose a single pound, he is so happy both babies are healthy and thriving he wouldn’t care). However, he’s not been allowed to lift above his head since he announced the pregnancy, and getting something from lower than his waist at this point is damn near impossible. Lacey says he shouldn’t be carrying anything more than 15 pounds; and between the twins using his bladder and his lower spine for kickboxing practice, he is either in the bathroom or pacing the hanger trying to ease the back pain. 

He’s exhausted from the lack of sleep the pain is causing, and he needs help doing pretty much anything that’s not sitting and typing, and that is not something they even need him at the station to do. Collier has been trying to convince him to work from home for a couple months… Tommy’s just— Hell even he’s not a hundred percent sure why he’s holding on to working for so long… He looks past Collier and Lucy at the helicopter’s, and he can’t even fly at the moment, but it’s been nice being near them. Watching them take off, watching them come back… he misses it. He’s going to miss this, and his team. “You’re probably right…” he finally admits. “I guess I should take advantage of the last few weeks of calm.” 

Lucy smiles, and hugs him. “Good for you; you have more than earned a break,” she says squeezing him. “I’m gonna miss you, Kinard.” 

“I’ll miss you too, Luce,” he replies, voice soft and shaky. 

“Hey,” she says, pulling back to wipe the tears that are starting to fall from both their eyes. “This is not a forever goodbye, okay? I am going to come by and get my baby fix every day I have off… you’re gonna be so tired of me!” 

“Never,” he laughs.

Tagging: @onthewaytosomewhere @30somethingautisticteacher @judymarch15 @nine-one-wanton

@bidisasterevankinard @kinardsevan @somethingaboutfirefly @bucksxkinard @mmso-notlikethat

@sunnywithachanceofbi @herrmannhalsteadproduction @marvelousbuckley

And anyone else who wants to share their writing 🫶🫶

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Can you write fuego with a pregnant wife?

Hi!

I thought that I had done quite a few of them, but... apparently not ^^' Admittedly I took some inspo from my own long fic (aka Embers -series) for this, and basically used a scene as a basis. Anyways, hopefully you like it ^^

Pairing: Fuegoleon x f!reader Genre: Romance/fluff Fanfic type: Oneshot Length: ~0.9k Contains: pregnant reader, marriage mention, Fue gets kicked by the baby in the face, a lot of fluffy feels

Fuegoleon had always deemed himself to be a family man. Granted that he has other aspirations as well, and hadn’t had a partner for such a long time, which was why such a status and aspect of his life had been placed on the backburner for the time being.

Not that it had particularly stopped thinking about the future, and the family he might like to have. A wife. Kids. Maybe a few. One was too few for his liking, but he wouldn’t push for more if his partner so wished.

It was a personal preference if nothing else.

But. It had existed in a daydream for a time longer than he could tell.

Until he had met you.

Not that the images had flashed through his mind clear as day from the very first moment he had laid his eyes upon you, but rather… it was like a gentle, comforting sensation. The knowledge that this… this would be it. With you he could go on to build something.

What he had felt, was a kind of familiarity. Like this was how it was supposed to be, and nothing less would suffice.

A part of him wanted to rush. To just move together. Get married. And have the titles of husband and wife. But another part of him held back. Because that seemed more courteous. Something that one does. Bids their time and takes slow, tentative steps to the ever after. Not marry the woman he met less than a year ago.

Though people did do that.

But people, aside of royalty, were more free to make such actions. And he didn’t wish to place such scrutiny onto the two of you. Because it would just be unwanted attention. Rumours of a bastard child possibly.

Senseless gossip.

Attempts to tarnish a reputation.

No matter how displeased even the mere idea of it made him, he chose to abide the customs. Little steps. One by one. And yet with each day he tried to show his devotion, even if with words, scattered here and there, a passing touch, lingering gaze. Some if which came without a thought, because it, too, was easy; as natural as breathing.

And now…

As you sat there, in the arm chair with rings in your ring finger, and a baby bump on your tummy, he couldn’t help but smile.

Because it was his whole world that existed in that chair. And he made a point to cherish the moments where he could know, with absolute certainty, where the two of you were; away from harm and trouble. In the sanctity of your shared living quarters.

“Come here,” you told him with a whisper while stroking your stomach.

He perked up, eyes opening just a little wider, as he made his way across the room and crouched by your chair.

“The baby is kicking,” your tone was hushed, delicate and tender, as if you were speaking out a secret that was only for the two of you to know.

His eyes shifted between your expression, gorgeous and loving like the first rays of dawn, to the little bump in which your precious child resided.

He placed his hand onto your stomach, and waited.

Waited for a moment longer, eyes attentive and curious.

“Come on,” you cooed. “No need to be shy, kick some for dad too.”

‘Dad’… he thought as the corners of his lips tugged further up.

One of the most esteemed titles he could be granted.

“Come on,” you encouraged again, as if your child could hear. But… somehow it didn’t seem to make a difference, if they could, or could not. After all, they didn’t have the language to comprehend for a good while still. So, you were speaking because… speaking to your own child was one of the most natural things to do.

Your precious miracle.

“It’s alright,” he chuckled and pressed his cheek against your tummy. “You are far better acquainted with your mother,” he mused while closing his eyes. “But I can’t wait to meet you to-“

*Bump*

A kick right to his nose.

He jolted back.

You raised your hand to cover your mouth.

“Feisty,” he said while holding onto his nose. “And packs a punch already.”

There was a laugh that flowed from your lungs; equally amused and concerned.

“Are you okay?” You asked while placing your hand onto his shoulder.

“I am,” he chuckled before placing his cheek against your stomach again. “It seems we’re having a true Vermillion here,” he mused to himself with a wide smile again. “But no kicking or punching your mother,” he told, sternly, to your bump and the child. “Understood?” He quirked an eyebrow.

And… almost as if to reply, there was another kick, but this time against his hand. A much softer one this time.

“Good,” he smiled while closing his eyes.

You placed your hand onto his head, and let your fingers stroke through his silken hair, as your eyelids closed half way at the tender sight before you.

Because this… this really was him, at his happiest. While holding you, and being held by you; when he was with his family.

[apple-os]

if one more thing goes wrong im fucking gone this is not a joke anymore

this is mostly a joke for the record

ive been having so many problems it's literally unfair why can I not just be HAPPY

every effort I make means nothing

every effort towards mine or others happiness literally means jack fucking shit like it's literally just pointless I don't even know why I try

i always end up feeling like

nobody loves me and I'm gonna end up alone or in an early grave or both

and that maybe that's for the best

[bunnihearted]

being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me

[daecaerys]

daenerys being spread as either the heroic figure of a song, the mother of dragons, the one who brought the red comet ---- blowing life into stone, the breaker of chains, mother. or daenerys the tyrant who crucified those who spoke against her, the cruel, the destroyer of astapor and yunkai. the lies spread by her enemies, yet when you ask her if she's done it she closes her eyes and says, i had to. your character not knowing what to believe until they meet her. daenerys, the silver queen, the last dragon. your character doesn't know who she is and honestly, sometimes neither does she. she only knows her heart, she knows she is not her father or brother, she knows her own kindness. she knows she wants peace. and she'll try to show as much to your muse, she will try to show she deserves it while hoping she's right.

[snailune]

wiki how do I stop spiraling about my life once every 2 weeks I'm getting sick of it