#sadie: what if we did. that would be so cool and easier.

[raspberryjellybrains]

I really enjoy the contrast between the attitude towards killing in PJO and MCGA. Percy doesn't like killing and only does it when he has to, while feeling very tortured that he is quite good at violence despite wanting to avoid it. then Magnus shows up and his first resort is killing and he is so so bad at it. his sword is swinging him for god's sake, this boy is so cringefail at fighting and it is his first instinct, which goes entirely unquestioned. really a beautiful, beautiful contrast.

[circuit-if]

I love everything about this, your writing is so good!!! The pacing through the race was on freaking point, I really felt the suspense and knowing the choices we make during races is going to affect things is so cool! All the ROs sound super interesting, I can't wait to meet everyone.

I'm also a sucker for a shared history kind of RO, I just want to grab Roman by the shoulders and shake him, so you've definitely written a compelling character there XD. What do you mean bestie doesn't want to go on an epic road trip esque racing competition circuit across the world with me? :( But I didn't know they were going to add me, I'm as surprised as you are! More even, you found out before I did! :((( I am so so excited for any future confrontation scenes even though I know I (irl) would cry in such situations lol.

Seriously though, if the roles were switched, I'd be ecstatic there turned out to be another free spot my bestie got (... even if there were potentially questionable means... we all gotta have our secrets ;) ), and I don't think I'd jump to the conclusion of cheating/some sus af sketchy deals because paperwork and logistics are beyond me :') My dumb ass would think I misheard the open spots available or some other racer dropped out lol. I'm going to hang onto that Roman friendship like a leech, I'm just imagining so much angst potential for an MC that's all puppy dog eyes, just standing in the background of Roman's interviews like 'We're still friends, right? Or if I didn't get a spot to join the circuit, would you have left without another look back and forgotten about me entirely? Maybe it's better things turned out this way, because even if you hate me, at least you're still in my life.'

Sorry this got so long, I just love this so much, your writing is seriously incredible!!

Hmm, to make this an actual ask, what would you say are the ROs giving and receiving love languages?

Thanks for the support my friend! As always, it feels great to have put so much work into the racing scene and have it pay off with just the feeling I was trying to portray.

As for that last ask at the end as well as the ask above...

Nicholas/Nadine - Words of affirmation & quality time. As in just sitting together and being able to chat somewhere for hours, just the two of you.

Roman - Quality time & physical touch. As in being able to sit together and do your own thing while occasionally leaning in for a kiss on the cheek or to lean against one another.

Sadie/Spencer - Acts of service & quality time. S. is a hard worker, so they love to treat you to little favours and insist it really isn't a big deal. They enjoy taking you on stupid dates, too <3

Carmen - Words of affirmation & acts of service. Carmen's the type to value doing little things for one another in passing that make your lives just a touch easier.

[veysxrge]

Heya! Its me again. I was wondering if you could write Amos being a cool uncle? (I bet hes the kind to give Carter n sadie money when Julius isnt looking. And this lil rebel streak of his is egged on by Set) I also think he would braid sadie's hair and help her take good care of it! N maybe he teaches Carter how to play an instrument or nerd out about basketball together.

Thank you in advance! I also loved your previous hcs for Amos,they were spot on and very heart melting!!

Amos Kane (T.K.C)

Oh I love this so much, I definitely can do that! I'll probably write a couple different scenarios instead of making a whole oneshot so it'll be easier!

-

There was a knock on the door but it didn't surprise Amos like it would've a few years ago. Instead he walked over to the door with a smile on his face and opened it to see his neice and nephew. They had taken to visiting him more seeing as he's been in their lives pretty frequently.

He let them in with a large smile on his face, "Perfect timing you two, I have something for you guys." Amos said, closing the door once the kids stepped inside.

"Oooh, whatcha got for us?" Sadie asked, walking into the living room and plopping on the couch. She had a habit of making herself at home. Carter stayed quiet, instead opting to watch his uncle go over to his bag.

"Well, you know how I visited England the other day? Well, I decided to go to a museum and ended up buying some things from the gift shop." Amos said, taking out two gift bags and handing them to Sadie and Carter. The two kids exchanged looks before they began to open the bag.

Carter's gift was a silver pocket watch that seemed to be very well made. It had intricate designs that wrapped all around and even very tiny engravings in the watch itself. Cart looked at his uncle with a soft smile, "Thank you Uncle Amos, this is amazing."

Amos just smiled and turned his attention to Sadie, her gift was obviously different. When she opened it she saw a silver tiara, it also looked very well made with red gems edged into the silver. It was stunning, but also... Sadie hadn't wanted a tiara since she was 7.

She was about to say something when she caught Carter's glare, she bit her lip before forcing a smile, "It's beautiful, thank you Amos."

Amos just about beamed at the praise, moving to go to the kitchen, "I'm going to make us some lunch, feel free to wander around."

-

It was early December when the Kane's were all together. There wasn't a whole lot of them, but it was enough to fill Amos' dining room and enough for him to cook a decent amount of food. But dinner was long done, now everyone stayed chatting and Julius was going over to find a movie for everyone to watch.

Sadie and Carter were talking amongst each other in hushed whispers, trying not to draw attention to their conversation. "I think dad would love this, maybe we can get it together?"

Sadie scoffed at what her brother had suggested, "Even if we did, we wouldn't have enough. We're gonna have to wait until next year."

Carter sighed but he knew his sister was right, he was about to accept defeat when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked over to see Amos and his eyes widened a bit, "Uncle Amos, how long have you been standing there?"

Amos smiled a bit before glancing at where his brother was still shuffling through movies. When he confirmed Julius wasn't looking he slid both of them a couple of bills. They looked at it before looking back at Amos, but he just held a finger to his lips, "Our little secret, alright?"

Sadie grinned, shoving the money in her back pocket and nodded. Carter still was processing haven been given more than enough for the present he wanted for his father as well as extra for everyone else. He smiled and looked at Amos, "Thank you."

-

Sadie blew a stray hair out of her eye as she tried to summon a portal. She easily did it before, she wasn't sure how she was having trouble now. She huffed and collapsed on the floor in exhaustion.

Sadie barely registered the footsteps of someone approaching until she felt someone mess with her hair. She turned around to see Amos, not thinking anything of it she just faced forward again.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Amos messing with her hair. There were occasional tugs and pulls of her hair that made her eyebrow twitch but she didn't think anything of it.

Eventually Amos patted her shoulder, as if urging her to stand up, "That should make it easier."

Sadie was confused, moving a hand to feel her hair. They were pulled back into two french braids. She paused before turning around to look at her uncle, "You're good at that."

Amos just chuckled softly, "I'd sure hope so, considering I do my own hair." He said, pushing a lock of his hair over his shoulder. "I'll teach you sometime, it'll make practice and the real thing much easier without hair in your face."

-

Amos was taking Carter somewhere, but he didn't say where. Carter was intrigued but Amos refused to budge. So instead the teen just followed his uncle in silence, staring at the shops and hoping to maybe come to some sort of guess as to where they were going.

But he had nothing, so he just walked. Eventually Amos stopped in front of a building, Carter tried to find the sign but his uncle was pulling him inside before he could.

Carter looked around the room, surprised to see many different instruments and people playing said instruments. Amos greeted someone before he gestured for Carter to follow him to another room.

Carter hesitated, still confused but at least having some sort of understanding as to what was happening. He would be lying if he said he wasn't a little bit excited when he followed his Uncle into another room.

Amos stood and was holding a bass, "You said you wanted to see me play right?" Carter nodded, "And potentially learn a bit?"

Carter smiled, excited to finally see Amos play and potentially even learn a bit from him, "Definitely."

Amos cracked a small smile, plugging in the bass before sitting down, "Any requests?"

-

I had fun writing these!! I really have to get more into TKC again so I can write actual fics about them. But here are some fun little Uncle Amos stories!! -Vey :)

[illyanarxsputina]

( blood dripping out of a chalice, frozen tundra, fingers gripped around a sword )▸ welcome to latverion, ILLYANA RASPUTINA (MAGIK). it’s time to be gracious, for in this vast multiverse, you have been saved by emperor doom. according to records you are 23 and use SHE/HER pronouns. emperor doom expects you’ll enjoy your career as BATTLE CHAMPION, or else. excellent. we look forward to your contribution. ( SADIE, ANYA TAYLOR-JOY )

PSD credit here.

ABOUT BASICS

FULL NAME: Illyana Nikolievna Rasputina

ALIAS: Magik

AGE: 23

AFFILIATIONS: New Mutants, occasionally X-Men

GENDER AND PRONOUNS: Cis female, she/Her

FACE CLAIM: Anya Taylor-Joy

IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS

POINT OF ORIGIN: Comics origin, taking from the original New Mutants run, some 2009 New Mutants, a lil bit of Uncanny

ABILITIES/SKILLS: Stepping Discs: Controlling the stepping discs of Limbo allows Illyana to teleport through space and time. It’s not always exact, and she always passes through Limbo to get to where she’s going. The further out she goes, the less control she has. Soulsword: Using a piece of her soul, Illyana forged a sword she can summon at will. It doesn’t cut through solid matter as other swords do, but rather disrupts spells and magical abilities. Sorcery: Illyana has studied as a sorcerer under the tutelage of the demon lord Belasco since she’s was very little. She’s mostly adept at dark magic, and can struggle a bit with lighter magic, especially outside of Limbo.

HAVE THEY BROUGHT ANY FAMILY OR PETS WITH THEM: No pets! But she would enjoy a visit from Lockheed every now and then, if he ever ventures away from Kate.

ANY HEADCANONS YOU WANT OTHERS TO KNOW: I like to think Illyana’s accent isn’t quite Russian. It’s there a little bit, but really she hasn’t lived in Siberia since she was seven years old. English was basically downloaded into her head, then she spent years in Limbo. So there’s a bit of a Russian accent, but there’s also a bit of something else. Illyana knows where she got it, but it’d be hard for others to place.

QUESTIONNAIRE

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT EMPEROR DOOM? It’s admittedly pretty impressive, what he did. It’d be wrong not have some amount of respect for a man who can wrangle universes together where there was only chaos before. But she’s not really big on supreme rulers, if she’s being honest. Maybe it’s an authority thing, maybe it’s that she knows what it’s like to wrest control from one, but she certainly doesn’t feel like bowing down at his feet any time soon.

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT THE BATTLES? ARE THEY TRYING TO AVOID THEM? OR ARE THEY EAGER TO JUMP IN? It’s fun! In a way. Competing in the Killoseum was an easy answer. She has magic, she has a frankly really cool sword. Besides, maybe there’s something to be learned from being right in the middle of everything. Everything is a mess, she’s still trying to figure out how the pieces all fit together and what the purpose might be, but swinging her sword in battle? That makes sense. That’ll always make sense.

WHY HAS YOUR CHARACTER ACCEPTED THEIR JOB POSITION? WILL THEY USE IT TO GET CLOSER TO DOOM? OR WILL THEY USE IT EXPLOIT HIM? OR DO THEY SIMPLY LIKE THEIR JOB? RE: It’s fun! (Or maybe it’s an easy outlet. Maybe she’s just so angry all the time. It’s easier to be angry than whatever else she might feel if she lets that anger be quiet for a second. If she can spend her days swinging her sword around, filling it with all that noise, it doesn’t ever have to be quiet enough to think about anything else. Or maybe, just maybe she wouldn’t mind doing something on Krakoa. She loves the younger generation more than she’d ever admit. She loves how they sometimes come to her for advice, how teaching comes easily despite what others might think. Maybe–) It’s really fun. Just ask her.

[stranger-nightmare]

Also people you realize once the gov’t people realize it’s vecna they’re just gonna magically cover it all up because they can’t have people know about the upside down.

So Jason if he survives is gonna be the town crazy crier saying Eddie killed Chrissy with the power of Satan.

Like Sam tells el ‘oh we can make that go away’ after she bashed Angela’s face in.

And the ‘mall fire’ that killed billy and the people he flayed.

The gov’t is gonna cover it up because like how do you explain Eddie magically lifting Patrick into the air? Jason told them Patrick lifted into the air, and they asked him ‘where was Eddie?’

Jason: what?

Cop: where was Eddie? If he was their who lifted Patrick into the air?

So my guess if Eddie lives the gov’t is gonna cover up vecna like they have with the other 3 seasons.

And season 5 it comes to a head where Hawkins, I think officially is gonna become a ghost town like dangerous to live in, almost as if it was a chyrnobel event at the lab something in the now abandoned lab maybe ‘malfunctioned’ and boom Hawkins must be evacuated

Or season 5 ends with a pull out shot of mike, being the DM for his and Els kids and the campaign is just him telling the stories of the first 4 seasons like full on one kid asks on the way upstairs from the dnd cave basement just like like had as a kid.

“But it wasnt real right daddy?” And Mike played by bill hader just laughs shaking his head

“Of course it wasn’t. I’m just really good at story telling. Come on to bed mom wants you guys well rested…going to see uncle Lucas and aunt max tomorrow.”

And just maybe season 5 the final shot is a scene of grown up El getting a weird tingle in the back of her neck while she’s putting dinner away or loading the dishwasher and just in the dark corner of the room a bug slinking into a crack in the wall.

I mean that’s how I would write it so if ever they really wanted to do another movie or even few episode short series. They have a small base for it or it’s all up to interpretation of was that a bug? Or another dart? Or was it all just our imagination?

-🎸😈

yeah I’m just nervous that the government or whatever will still just use Eddie as a scapegoat to blame everything on bc it’s much easier to scaremonger with a real life person who doesn’t fit into society than it is to try and come up with some other elaborate explanation for all the weird deaths and shit

also seeing the kids as adults?? ahhh I’d so love if they did that tbh! and absolutely they’d have to bring Bill Hader back in to play Mike bc that casting in IT: Chapter 2 was fucking spectacular!! I’d also love to see Holland Roden play an adult Max (I know their eyes are different colours but other than I think they look pretty similar and it’s be cool to see Holland and Sadie in a project together), and then we could have Halsey as older Eleven ahhhh

- hope

[livingwithlosingyou]

Living with Losing You - 11/24/2022

Today was a busy day! It was YOUR day <3. I know you were with me. 

Happy Thanksgiving. This was your favorite holiday, for various reasons. You would always tell me about how you and your mom would cook Thanksgiving dinner together. I knew today was going to be a hard day. The first thing I did was text your parents actually. I wish you were here, so badly. Let’s dive into the day though. 

I woke up early because I did a 5k with Marissa. I got to do it free through her work which was cool! I ran into some old friends there, and Aaron who I coach with. I didn’t exactly get the time that I was wanting, but I also was not mad about it. I got hella boxed in and I was probably only going like 75-80% of what I could have so. That’s a good sign! It was funny though because after the race, I went back for Marissa and technically finished twice so I got two medals. I will say it was a little hard to be in that area because I have kind of been avoiding it since you died. We used to go on dates to the zoo, balboa park, etc. I miss you, wildly. 

After the race we went to PS and grabbed breakfast then chatted for little. Then, I went to drop off Sadie, pick up what I needed rom a few stores, then rushed home to start cooking. I ended up making your famous blackberry pie (I have renamed it the “Jake n’ Bake Blackberry pie”, and then the two sides we made together in 2020 when we went to my family’s thanksgiving. Last year, you were in sober living / it was a unique situation, so I saw you briefly. 

Thanksgiving dinner was at Court and Cailee’s new house. It was nice to see everyone. I had some really good conversation with a few people surrounding grief. One analogy that was said is it’s like planning a big trip to go somewhere (Italy for example) and you prepare, pack, etc. Then you land in Ohio and you’re expected to just be okay with it and figure it out. My life has been Ohio (no offense Ohio lol). I’m trying, and that’s all I can do. Continue to give myself grace. There was also a bunch of super yummy food! SO much food. While I was saddened that I didn’t get to spend it with you, I think that I made the most of it. I definitely cried. It was not easy. One thing I did to distract myself was play with my brother’s kids and build the paper turkey that was on the table for them. No shame. 

When I got home I definitely had second dinner and just relaxed, watched some shows, and packed for the trip tomorrow. State!!! I am pretty excited to be back up there. 

I am going to post some pictures from the festivities today. I MISS YOU. ugh. It physically hurts. It doesn’t get easier, especially with these holidays. I am not even sure how I am going to feel about Christmas.....

I love you, James. 

Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022

[curiousconch]

Chase You/Chase Me (Pt. 4)

Part 4: The truth will never lie to me

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: Trapped in a conference, Gabe and Alex bask in the afterglow of their interrupted moment by the lake. But before Alex can fully comprehend how she felt, she unravels a truth that may cease the chase altogether.

Book/Pairing: Choices - Laws of Attraction / Gabe Ricci x MC (Alex Keating)

Words: 1.8k+

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / alcohol consumption, language, implied sexual content. Reader discretion advised.

Author's Notes: Surprise! Yep, it's an early release! I made revisions to fit the ongoing narrative and ended up breaking it down into two parts. Also, this series may span longer than I originally intended it to be, not wanting to rush things. It will probably extend until Part 7, depending on what happens at the finale. I do hope you'll still stick around. If not, I'll totally understand. 😉

Disclaimer: Most of the characters as well as some dialogue belong to Pixelberry. I am merely borrowing them.

Late night, Boston

Shoe laces, cool wind and the darkness of the forest enveloping them. His breath shuddering with how close her lips was. His throat running dry.

Wanting, longing.

Just a little taste to find out how intoxicatingly delicious those cherry lips would be in his mouth and to feel the heat of her body against his.

And then a splash.

Gabe blinked as he felt ice cold liquid pouring over his crisp white shirt. He wasn't sure if he was having déjà vu.

"Oh, sorry mate," a man standing nearby had bumped into him, making the glass of scotch he was drinking shake and spill into his impeccable suit. He forced down the tasteless curse words forming in his mouth, groaning in frustration at the dissipating sensations from what he had been imagining.

His mind was stuck in an endless loop, replaying the romantic encounter with Alex just the night before. But very much like after Beau's dive into the lake, his consciousness whipped achingly back to reality.

Gabe was leaning on the mobile bar, set in the middle of the conference reception. Did he just lose himself in a daydream like a fool? He wondered, murmuring through his madness.

The time alone with her provided him a glimpse of what could be between them. And oh how euphoric it had been to have her so near, to watch his body respond to her like no other.

It left him just craving for more.

He was lying to himself if he continued to deny that he has feelings for Alex, and how deep he was already in for her. But he knew it wasn't meant to be, at least until after he admits the truth. Until then, he had to pull away.

Easier said than done.

For now, he settled for a view of her, his eyes scoured the room for the subject of his fancy. When he found her, Gabe couldn't stop his smile and the fluttering of his heart, or the warmth growing between his legs.

There she was, in the far side of the room, shining brighter than any star that they had seen in the night sky. Her audience completely captivated as he was with her.

The sight of her in that blue dress swept Gabe back into his fantasies, and how infuriatingly near he was to giving into them. He had to clench his fist around his tumbler, suppressing any trace of his earlier wild thoughts.

Apparently sensing the weight of his gaze, Alex turned to him, their eyes meeting in silent conversation. He watched as she excused herself before making her way towards where he sat.

Half-smiling, Alex's confident expression as she approached him made him swallow hard.

Gabe summoned all his willpower to rein himself in as she got closer. He plastered his usual cocky smile, once again putting up a wall of professionalism. They were in a conference, he reasoned.

"Still watching your wards, old man?" Alex chuckled as she reached a seat beside him.

"Working the room like a pro like that? Very hard to ignore," Gabe interjected, shaking his head. "Had to say Alex, I'm impressed."

"Glad you noticed," she smiled, clearly enjoying the compliment.

"Frankly, you charming the top tier lawyers were hard to miss," he said, with lips quirking into a grin.

"Were you watching the whole time?" she asked.

"Difficult not to, seeing how you're the best-dressed lawyer in the room," he continued, savoring the easy conversation.

She scoffed before turning around, grabbing a napkin from a bartender. Alex offered it to him, pointing at the light stain on his clothes.

He finally muttered a curse, realizing he had been too distracted not to notice the result of the spillage from his own drink. This was one of my best suits.

Gabe almost jumped when Alex started to wipe the front of his suit.

His eyes narrowed, unable to process what was happening. On impulse, he reached out to her, encircling his palms around her wrist. Alex snapped her head up at the touch, the intensity of her gaze enchanting him.

It took all of his strength to break free from it. He cleared his throat and looked away, before grabbing the napkin from her grasp without warning.

It had always been like this. At first, there was this fluidity, a natural attraction between them while they interacted. Then another goddamn minute passes and it all becomes downright complicated.

Gabe wasn't having it.

He briefly shut his eyes closed and released the breath he was holding. When he opened them, he focused his attention on wiping the stain from his jacket, avoiding Alex's questioning gaze. He decided to divert the conversation, robbing her of any opportunity to re-capture him in a trance.

"Don't worry, I don't judge potential partners solely on congeniality. Though I can't speak for Sadie." He then turned and discarded the cloth on the bar. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to speak to a friend who I'm sure will be thrilled to know I'm now a partner."

He finally dared to look at Alex with almost apologetic eyes, before swiftly walking away towards a sea of unfamiliar faces.

Alex was left gaping at his hasty departure, uncertain how it all went south so quickly. She wanted to grab his arm and pull him to her so badly, to pick things up from where they left off last night. From that moment when his lips was inches away from taking hers, before they were interrupted.

Her body ached to be near him. Then again, that's not how she usually operates, so she let him be.

She had never thought her idol was such a tease. Or perhaps, traditional? Alex snickered. Oh how I'll make you beg, Gabriel Ricci. She exhaled, the sultry thought of the man on his knees in front of her suddenly hiking up the temperature in the room. Alex had to fan herself to cool down.

Along with the idea of finally spending some alone time together, conjuring the image of waking up beside Gabe excited her. Well, if ever this chase between them actually culminates to something.

But why was she following this trail of thought? In all her conquests, she had never stayed for what came after. She had that with Julian, and look how that ended. For her, it was always just for the fun. So why does she suddenly liked the notion with Gabe? She shuddered. Ugh, weird.

Maybe it's because it's taking the long game with him? Alex didn't want to know.

Leaving that for now, she resorted to ordering another shot of patron to drown the remnants of her heated thoughts. On her third glass, Alex heard a familiar voice ordering a shot of bourbon. She swiveled towards it and caught sight of Lina Reyes, the opposing lawyer from the Willow case.

"Fancy meeting you here," Alex smiled lazily, remembering how temptingly attractive she was. She also recalled the offer of a hook-up, which she politely declined out of courtesy.

But now, seems like she's getting another chance. And with Gabe being annoyingly hard to get, Alex had to have fun somewhere else. It's not like she and Gabe was committed, right?

Lina scooted closer to her, smelling of a heady mix of alcohol. "Speaking of fancy, damn. You look more incredible than I can remember, Alex," she teased, provocatively arching her brows at her.

Alex quickly picked up Lina's attempt to flirt, stoking her bruised ego. "Gotta be dressed to impress, right?" she waved her fingers as if in curtsy. "Enjoying the conference?"

"At this point, things tend to devolve quickly. But I do plan to have a nightcap back in my room," Lina smirked, Alex feeling the heel of velvet pumps brushing along her bare leg. "Maybe you could join me?"

The woman wasn't exactly subtle, though Alex had to give props to her for her confidence. She liked that in anyone. So Alex returned the gesture, letting her fingers hover an inch over her arm while batting her eyelashes. Two can play that game.

"I think we should stay here."

Wait, what? Did she just say no? Subconsciously? Did hell just freeze over? Or did her brain left her head?

Both women blinked, unable to determine who's more mortified between them. They were both quiet, until Lina broke the awkwardness by a chuckle.

"Had to try, didn't expect I'd be turned down twice," she said consuming the rest of her drink in one gulp. "Worth it though." she shrugged, ordering another round for herself.

Alex struggled to compose herself, brows furrowed in confusion by how that went down.

"Oh don't be so bothered, you're not my first rodeo." Lina poked at her jokingly, clearing up the air. Alex thanked her, and the conversation went smoothly from there.

Several more drinks in, the two women chatted on, venturing into a variety of topics in law and in love. It didn't take long before Lina started to slur in her words, to which Alex found amusing.

"Looks like someone didn't pace herself," she observed as she sipped her cocktail.

"Ah don't mind me, had to cleanse my palate after all the boring sessions earlier," Lina toasted her glass on hers, wobbling as she shifted to face her. "We are a rare breed, us fighters," she leaned towards Alex, lowering her voice to a whisper. "We like-minded women should just stick together, you know?"

Alex was relieved she turned her down the second time. Barely listening to her, she started to drift off as Lina continued rambling on, turning around to face the crowds as her eyes tried to locate that handsome man. Alex smirked when she found Gabe's sexy outline.

"Lot of ungrateful dipshits being freed from prison, even after we work our asses off proving they deserved an earlier release. Khan, Kozlowski, those celebrities involved with the Ivy League admission scandal? Hell, even small town criminal Cornell was released in the last five years alone!"

And with that last statement, Alex froze. "Say that again?"

Confused, Lina stuttered as if she can't remember what she was saying. To Alex's annoyance, she went silent, apparent that more humiliation was on the way. Lina abruptly stood, covering her mouth with her hand as she sprinted to the bathroom. Alex let her pass.

Assured that she'll be fine with her colleagues flanking her, Alex started to obsess over Lina's last sentence.

Was that just the patron? Or am I getting too drunk and starting to hear things? She asked herself, bewildered at how randomly Lina mentioned a Cornell.

With an exasperated sigh, she decided it wouldn't hurt to check. She pulled out her phone from her purse and fired up a search engine, where she typed in the godforsaken name. Alex tapped enter.

As soon as the results loaded, she felt the world crumble beneath her.

No, no, no, no, no. This fucking didn't happen.

She clicked on one of the articles from a local news outlet. The picture beneath the headline shoving her nightmares front and center. There it was, the title written in bold stated loud and clear: Cornell Son Gets Early Release.

Alex bit her lip as she fought to gather herself together, speed reading through the article. This was definitely a surprise, but what really got her reeling was the figure of a man walking behind Maximilian. She'd pick up who that was from anywhere within a mile radius.

Alex tried to keep herself rational, but the shock rippled through her, enough to shake off the alcohol in her system. And why did her stomach churned like she was punched in the gut a hundred times over? Why did she felt fucking betrayed?

Unexpectedly, she knew it wasn't discovering Cornell was now walking freely in the streets.

Deep down, Alex was aware it was because Gabe Ricci was involved. Either way, it looks like her high and mighty boss has some explaining to do.

Her blood boiled, a myriad of questions went through her mind. Resolute, she wanted those damn questions answered. Tonight.

She downed her drink and slammed the empty glass on the bar, sending a text to draw Gabe's attention.

She looked over where he stood, watching the frown in his face as he read her message. She clicked her head, beckoning him outside.

Even he can't fathom the fire storm that was about to come his way.

Author's Notes 2: Thank you for your continued reading! 💖 How do you think things will go down next? Let me see your reactions on your comments and reblogs!

Tag list: @adiehardfan @pixelnutrookie @starryjieun @latinagiraffe @sarcastic01lily @spookycolorpeanut @ophrookie @suitfer @thegreentwin @mkatschoicesblog @made-of-roses @lillijill

@choicesficwriterscreations

[little-bi-kingtrashmouth]

(For the writing prompt) fluff #3 with Charthur? :)c

“You’re everything I could’ve wanted and more.”

Charles never thought himself the marrying type. Really it was more that he never thought he would get married. Not in the way that he’d heard other people say they weren’t the marrying type, that they weren’t suited for it, they couldn’t settle down. In fact he thought he could be a good spouse and he’d like that, to love and be loved completely. To share a life with another person. It warmed him to think about.

He’d seen how in love his parents were and he wanted that. But after losing his parents, his mother taken and his father ceasing to be the man he was before, he’d had to focus on just surviving. The world had not been welcoming and kind to him, not enough for him to continue considering finding a partner. He pushed it out of his mind and even forgot it was a possibility. For a long time Charles had moved through the world thinking that he didn’t and couldn’t understand life or other people and he was resigned to that.

For so many years of his life, Charles lived each day to the next. Not expecting much from the future, only thinking about making it through the best he could and doing right by those in his life, whether they were strangers or friends. It made him smile to think he had people he considered friends, very good friends at that. They were odd people, a collection of lost souls who managed to find something within one another and it made sense that he could find family with them. He loved them, and he finally felt confident that love was returned. 

It was the summer of 1907 when he confronted the thoughts that had made themselves at home again in his mind. He’d been thinking about the future more and more, the longer it started to look like he’d have one. He could imagine himself growing old now, being a comfortable old man in his own home, no longer running away or towards something. And he saw himself with Arthur. 

Sadie was leaning on the porch railing with him, both of them watching John and Arthur trying to fix the fence up the hill on the far side of the property. They couldn’t hear their words clearly, just that they were shouting and swearing at one another. John dropped a post and gestured widely, as if telling Arthur to go ahead and do it himself. They laughed together, Sadie snorting and shaking her head. 

“So, you thought about what you’re going to do now?” She’d asked and Charles sighed, watching Arthur as he stood with his hands on his hips glaring his younger brother down. 

He looked good up there, healthy again. It made Charles' chest swell and he half shrugged. 

“John’s offered multiple times for us to stay here. That we could build on the property and keep working here.” 

Sadie nodded, “got the same offer. Starting to think Marston likes having a big family more than he lets on.” She sighed and Charles smiled. 

Seemed to him that the men up the hill finally got over what was wrong and they lifted the post together. It was lovely to see, how these two had healed what was hurting between them. He’d hope so of course it’d been at least 10 years by now. 

“Think he and Abigail will have more kids?” He turned to look at Sadie who smiled wide and nodded. 

“Heard them talking about it, it was honestly really sweet. You’re avoiding my question Mr. Smith.” She teased and stood up then, turning her back to the railing and watching Charles closely. 

Charles sighed, long and heavy and he watched Arthur up the hill again. He smiled fondly, seeing the way Arthur practically glowed now. 

“We’ve talked a little about it, Arthur doesn’t hate the offer but he’s hesitant to stick around. He loves them but he wants John to be his own man. I’m worried John won’t be able to do that if Arthur’s around. I’d...as much as I do like it here, I don’t think this is where I want to live for the rest of my life. If I’m going to build a home with Arthur, I’d rather it be somewhere else.” 

Sadie smiled at him, “listen to you. Building a home with Arthur. You gonna confess to me now that you’re thinking of proposing too?” She teased. 

Charles laughed, flustered and excited at the fact that yes, yes he was thinking of it. It hit him like a strong breeze, startling but not hurtful or scary, the idea of asking Arthur to marry him. They’d talked about marriage before, not necessarily in terms of their future. Just how closer Arthur had come to it, multiple times. Once because he was desperately and stupidly in love and twice because he just wanted to do the right thing. Charles had opened up a little about it, but neither of them touched the subject much aside from that. 

He’d laughed when Sadie said he was bit by the family bug after he’d confessed to her that yes, yes he’d like to marry Arthur some day. Part of it was joy at saying it out loud and because it wasn’t like this was a new development. Was it the first time he’d truly thought about it? Yes, but if he was honest, he’d had the idea probably a year ago. 

Arthur had woken up before him. Most days they would wake up together, barely minutes apart and slowly get out of bed together. But not that morning. Charles had woken up after Arthur and found him working away in the kitchen to make a big breakfast for them both. He’d brought Charles coffee in bed when he noticed the man was awake and he’d kissed him soft and sweet and called him darlin’ and Charles had thought to himself that he could live like this forever. That he could and would live with Arthur forever, if Arthur wanted that too. He didn’t bring it up then because it felt almost unnecessary to bring it up. After everything they’d been through, they were just living together and it didn’t seem like either had any plans or desires to change that. 

He didn’t know why he hadn’t said anything to Arthur, or planned to say anything until now. Maybe it was after seeing the Marston’s get married, the way their faces lit up about it and how ridiculous they were about calling each other husband and wife, the way John smiled when he called her Mrs. Marston. They had been partners in every sense of the word before, the marriage changed very little about their lives in all reality. That didn’t make it any less important to them, it didn’t make it any less special. Whether or not he called Arthur his husband didn’t change their relationship, didn’t change what they had and what they would have in the future. But it didn’t make Charles want it any less. 

It was a week after Sadie had pestered him on the porch and it felt like their time at the Beecher's Hope was ending. Not that the Marston’s made them feel unwelcome, but both Charles and Arthur could feel it was time to move on. Abigail, John, and Jack had started a new chapter of their lives and they needed the chance to do so without anyone else in the way. 

Charles paused in his walk along the perimeter, by the fence post John and Arthur had been bickering trying to fix. He looked down at the property, the hill stretching high up taller than the barn. Abigail and John were sitting on the porch together, John waving himself with his hat to cool off and Abigail chatting away. She had a light about her that Charles wasn’t sure he’d ever really seen before and there was an ease in John’s shoulders, despite all the complaining he did about how sore work made him. Jack and Rufus were chasing each other around the tree to the right of the porch and Charles smiled, leaning against the fence to take it all in. 

“You’re a hard man to find Mr. Smith,” Arthur sighed and Charles perked up, turning to his left and watching Arthur walk up to him. 

He smiled, met by the warmth in Arthur’s own smile. 

Arthur was sweaty from work and he smelled like the barn but Charles put his arm around Arthur’s back and kissed his cheek, Arthur returning the affection and humming a happy sound. 

“Enjoying the view?” Arthur asked, looking out across the property with him. It wasn’t anything extravagant but it was a home they had all built together and the joy that radiated from this place could last forever. 

Charles sighed, “that and collecting my thoughts.” He said and his heart thrummed in his chest faster than before. Was he really doing this? 

“Oh?” Arthur untangled himself from Charles' arm and turned to look over Charles’ face. “Something on your mind darlin’?” Arthur’s voice took a softer tone, concerned and attentive. Charles smiled, sure it looked nervous but he wanted to reassure Arthur anyways. 

“Been on my mind for a while really, I just...haven’t had the words for it.” 

Arthur nodded, and kept watching Charles' face. Charles could tell Arthur was trying to keep it neutral. As if he wasn’t anxious. 

Charles took a big breath then and stepped back so he could fully face Arthur, trying to figure out what words he wanted to use for this, wondering if he should have practiced, really thought out what to say. 

“Life...life has always confused me.” He said and Arthur tilted his head, listening intently as Charles smiled, “I don’t feel I understand it very much, maybe a bit more now than before. People...people confused me too, almost all of them but not you. You make sense to me,” Charles sighed and took Arthur’s hand, Arthur letting him hold it and staring into Charles’ eyes. He’d been worried about what he would say and how it would sound but now that the words were coming, this was going to be easy. He just had to say what he felt and that had become a much easier task in the last few years. 

“What we have together, even in the beginning getting to know one another, it always made sense. You didn’t...confuse me the way others did and for once someone didn’t look at me like I was confusing. You respected me, you listened to me, you welcomed me into your life and you’ve shown me every day how much I mean to you.” Charles lets out a breathless laugh, trying to keep his emotions together the more he spoke. He was overwhelmed with love for Arthur, this beautiful roughened man in front of him right now. Arthur was aging, his beard graying and Charles wanted to see it all turn grey and white, he wanted to experience all the possible future years they could have together. 

There was something like recognition in Arthur’s eyes, like maybe he understood what Charles was doing right now but he stayed quiet, just nodded and squeezed Charles hand. 

“For years, after I was on my own, the idea of love seemed distant to me. I had seen how my parents had loved one another and what that life was like for them but it feels like a world away now, both them and my disbelief that I could have that. Recently, the last few years, with our time together...it seems possible. The idea of living the rest of my life with someone, waking up to them every day and loving them and being loved by them, I can’t stop thinking about it. I, we could still do all of that no matter what I say today and what you say. We can still have this, we already have this. Nothing will really...change for us. But I want this, I would like this more than I’d like anything else in this moment. Arthur,” Charles took both of Arthur’s hands now and he stood so close to him, pressing his forehead to his. He lowered his voice, worried they would be overheard. This was just for them, just for Arthur and him to experience. 

Arthur sniffled and let out a soft laugh, “sorry, ‘m alright you keep going. Keep talking,” Arthur said and wiped his face and Charles smiled, feeling his own eyes water. 

“Arthur Morgan, you make me feel like a fool.” Charles smiled around the words and Arthur laughed wetly with him, “you make me feel like such a fool in the most incredible way. You are everything I could have wanted and more. I love you.” 

Arthur managed to say I love you back as Charles stepped back and dropped slowly to kneel before Arthur, still holding his hands. 

Arthur sniffled again and wiped at his eyes. 

“Christ I didn’t think I was a crier.” Arthur sighed, “gonna blame my poor health.” He dismissed as he took Charles' hands again. 

“Don’t lie to me, I’ve lived with you for how many years?” 

They both broke into a fit of laughter and Arthur’s tears slowed with the distraction. 

Charles sighed and Arthur waved him on. 

“Go on, I believe you were about to, ask me something. If I’m not mistaken.” Arthur asked, hesitant. 

Charles nodded, smiling up at him. 

“Will you marry me?” He stroked Arthur’s hands with his thumbs and he’d barely gotten it out before Arthur was kneeling in front of him and nodding. 

“Yes, yes I will marry you.” 

Charles laughed, in relief and surprise and so much joy that he felt like he could burst. He wrapped his arms around Arthur’s middle and Arthur wrapped around him. 

They hugged, sniffling and whispering I love you’s over and over for a minute. 

“Shit, I should get my ring back from John.” Arthur said and Charles laughed more, burying his face into Arthur’s shoulder. 

“I don’t think it will fit love.” Charles, “plus you really want to take a ring from Abigail?” 

Arthur barked a laugh into Charles’ shoulder before leaning back and cupping his face. 

“You’re right there, be pointless to get engaged and then get myself killed.” 

Charles nodded, agreeing and he leaned in to kiss Arthur. It was gentle and sweet and his heart wouldn’t stop racing. 

When they broke their kiss, Arthur stood and pulled Charles up with him. They kissed for a moment more before Arthur spoke. 

“Charles, you’re the best man I know and you are the best husband I could ask for. I hope I can, be the same for you.” 

Charles nodded and kissed Arthur’s forehead, cupping the back of his head and playing with his hair for a moment. 

“What do you say we go share the news?” Charles asked softly and Arthur nodded, eager to do so and Charles grinned wider. 

Arthur loved him completely and was excited to share that with the world. He sighed, blissful and content as he held his future husband’s hand and followed him to join the rest of their family.

[gumnut-logic]

Coffee

This is @godsliltippy ‘s fault because she was so kind to me and posted Pocket Virgil to help me through the day. Above is the original three clips, of which Pocket Virgil is part of Clip Two. After watching Pocket Virgil try again and again with no success, I kinda wanted to help him, so this fic happened.

Total meta crack, that really didn’t go anywhere, but hopefully will be fun nonetheless. Certain laws of both physics and worldbuilding were totally ignored, so there may be some brain frying concept-wise.

This is for Thunderfam and for all the kindness you continue to bestow upon me. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You guys are amazing. ::hugs you all::

Leave sense at the door. I hope you enjoy it :D

-o-o-o-

Virgil Tracy was grumpy.

He knew this idea was good an all and he fully supported Lady Penelope when she suggested they document some of their rescues for the general public.

But not once...not once! Did she mention that he would be dragged out of bed before the sun, thrown on a set to perform, and the only coffee they would provide would be thimble-sized, consequently cold and allocated to break times.

At the moment, ‘break’ was definitely a keyword. Sans coffee, Virgil Tracy was quite ready to do something of the kind to the director.

“Now, Virgil, I know you’re tired, but you are the calm brother, the respected peacemaker of the family. Snarling at the camera isn’t quite in character.”

In character? He was playing himself, for goodness sake. He was in character, character sans coffee! Across the studio, he eyed the Tracy villa swimming pool and wondered if there was a possibility of filling it with coffee.

“Can we try again?”

Virgil grunted at the director. Bet he had had his coffee. Bet he was allowed to access that wondrous machine up so high on that shelf. Bet he hadn’t given one thought to how his precious Tracys might feel about the matter.

Yeah, Virgil Tracy was not in a very good mood at all.

The director stood up from the set and stepped away to be half hidden by the camera again.

Virgil lowered Two’s hatch and climbed aboard. All prepared to launch Two with a smile.

He grit his teeth.

Backing her up into her hangar again, he closed the cliff face and waited for the call.

“Action!”

Practised fingers went through their motions and Two cruised out onto her runway under the fake sunlight.

A poke at a control and the palm trees moved aside...not quite the way they did at home, but well enough...and Two taxied towards her ramp.

“Cut!”

Oh, for the love of...what now?!

“Virgil, you are grinding your teeth. I would say we could mute it in post, but you look like you want to kill someone. You’re the valiant hero, the gentle giant, not Hannibal Lecter daydreaming about dinner!” Virgil stared up at him through the windows. Usually, Virgil would be mortified, but it was barely past 7am, he had been up late for a real rescue last night, hadn’t slept well, and there was no damned coffee!

The director stared at him a moment longer before throwing up his hands. “Okay, you know what? Take fifteen, go find some coffee, for all our sakes.” He ended that with a glare and turned away calling the crew to a halt.

Virgil sat there staring at the replica of his ‘bird’s controls. He had been in the real thing last night. Saved sixteen lives.

He was just tired and not really being fair to anyone, including himself.

He just wanted coffee. Please, I just need coffee.

If his inner voice sounded like a dehydrated man in a desert pleading for water, it was just being honest.

The thing was that the crew had coffee. In that machine on the shelf. Sure, the cup was bigger than he was, but it might be just enough to put his brain to rights.

But he couldn’t reach the button to activate it. In fact, the one time he had tried, some smart ass on set had filmed him jumping up, trying to reach it. It had made the rounds until it hit Gordon, who then promptly made sure the rest of the world had the opportunity to enjoy laughing at his brother.

But then Gordon still didn’t know who poured dye in his pool...while he was in it.

The full body make-up his brother had to wear that day to hide the purple was almost worth it.

But coffee...god, he needed coffee. If only he could extend his reach. If only he could grip the cup...

Virgil blinked.

The solution was obvious. Oh my god. He felt like kicking himself for not thinking of it before. You idiot!

There was one piece of equipment he had brought on set that wasn’t fake.

It was here for two reasons. The first was that it was built for Virgil, only he could wear it and it was cheaper to just wear the real thing than to build a poorly functional duplicate. Secondly, Virgil preferred to have one on hand as often as possible, just in case, and since they had been spending so much time in Aotearoa on set, he had stashed one with the lead model maker for safe keeping.

He exited the fake Two and leapt out onto the runway. The fact that one of the set hands saw him and immediately made herself scarce was kind of depressing. He had been a grumpy bear this morning.

But that was all about to be solved.

He eyed the director and, making sure the man wasn’t looking, grabbed one of the discarded thimble-sized coffee cups and slipped away towards prop storage.

It was a hike and he had to dodge wheels and staff who didn’t see him. Those who did all immediately looked at their watches and, just like the set hand earlier, hurried out of his sight.

Maybe he was beginning to get a reputation.

Serve them right for not giving him coffee!

He found his helmet and his exosuit exactly where he expected them to be. Some neurotic librarian type had attached a huge name tag with a barcode onto it.

Virgil’s shoulder mounted laser took care of that.

It was almost comforting to slide on the equipment. The surety of its strength settling on his shoulders, its weight snug at his hips and ankles.

He sighed.

Of course, that one moment of relaxation was interrupted by Steven, the lead model maker, suddenly bursting into the room.

“I don’t know, Scott. That sounds kind of dangerous. The real Thunderbird One might be able to handle you surfing it, but I’m not too sure of the mockups.”

“I’ll talk to Brains. We’ll make it happen.”

“Why are you feeling the need to surf on the outside anyway?”

“Because it looks cool?” Scott cleared his throat. “Ah, because that is what happened during the incident we are portraying and accuracy is important.”

Virgil hunched down behind a scarily accurate model of that moon buggy Scott was always raving about. He dared not move because the wheeze of the suit’s hydraulics was far too familiar a sound to hide from his brother.

But then, since Scott was buzzing around at Steven’s eye height thanks to one of his jetpacks, his older brother really didn’t have a single leg to stand on.

Mostly because he apparently didn’t need them.

Virgil found himself grinding his teeth again.

He really needed coffee.

“You actually surfed on the outside of Thunderbird One?”

“Well, yeah.”

“That is so cool, man.”

“That’s what I said!”

Steven reached past Virgil’s hiding spot and picked up one of the fake explorer pods and Virgil remembered that he was supposed to clamber up the side of an equally fake mountain later in the morning.

Hell, coffee was mandatory.

Fortunately, Steven appeared to have everything he needed and both he and Scott left almost immediately after that, Scott coming as close to raving as Virgil had ever heard him, babbling about surfing on One.

Sounded about right. Scott and Alan might as well have been twins if it wasn’t for their age difference.

They both gave Virgil grey hair.

But then so did Gordon.

John was easier, cool and calm and sensible most of the time. But that just meant that when he did slide off the rails, he did a proper job of it, likely taking most of them with him.

Hmmm, must remember to grab some more hair dye on the way home tonight.

With the coast clear, he secured his thimble cup to his suit and made a run for it.

He made it across the floor to the blessed coffee machine without interruption this time, though he had to admit, his suit was much noisier than he had realised. But a good percentage of the crew were focused on that scene Scott was filming.

He could still hear his brother declaring that he knew his stunts better than any stunt man.

Virgil had to agree. If anyone was capable of surfing Thunderbird One, it was Scott.

The idiot.

Now, not only was he doing stupid stunts to save people, but now just to show off.

Virgil had a good mind to kick his ass. He was as bad as Alan.

No, correction. Alan wasn’t that stupid.

Virgil found himself taking a step in his big brother’s direction and it was only the wheeze of his suit that made him realise exactly what he was doing.

Coffee, goddamnit, he needed coffee!

Without a second thought, he fired a grapple line up to the bench top and was gratified it secured with a thunk. Pulling himself up with the right equipment was so much more efficient than the equivalent pseudo rock climbing he had had to do last time.

Before he knew it, he was up there standing next to the huge dispenser of coffee. He gazed up at it for a moment and blessed its existence.

But unfortunately, Sadie who had been kind enough to set it up for him last time wasn’t available.

Hell, if his assistant hadn’t been called away at the last minute, he would have gotten his coffee that day. As it was, the director had found out about the incident when Virgil arrived late on set and had given Sadie a dressing down that involved images of Tracy brothers falling into giant vats of coffee and being boiled alive.

As if Virgil would be that stupid.

Boiling himself would be such a waste of good coffee.

But there were no more attempts at giant coffees for Virgil Tracy from that point on. It was banned.

So, this time, he had to set it up himself.

He was consequently reassured that yes, he was really good with his tools. The suit hummed in appreciation as he made it do what he needed it to do and despite dropping coffee granules all over himself at one point – he was considering eating them off the counter, but then considered that a caffeine overdose wasn’t wise – he set up the machine ready to dispense some black heaven.

The teacup he had used last time had been pushed away to one side, but his exosuit made it a simple job to manipulate it into position so he could stand on it.

With the extension of his claw, he easily reached up and hit the green button.

It was a pleasure just to hear the coffee machine start up.

He was seriously tempted to take off his helmet and breathe in the gloriousness that was the scent of brewing coffee, but he still had to get that coffee cup into a position from which it would be safe for him to drink.

He may be coffee and sleep deprived but he wasn’t an idiot.

So, he stood there watching the coffee machine make the drink of the gods.

It was a little mesmerising.

And then the process was complete. The machinery quietened and the coffee cup sat waiting for him.

He didn’t hesitate.

It took both claws and a secure grapple to the shelf above the bench for stability, but he manoeuvred the cup down onto the bench top.

Steam fogged up his helmet as he looked down from atop the upturned teacup, so finally, he broke the seals and lifted it off his head.

Oh.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

He almost melted on the spot.

The smell was heady, intoxicating. Drowning in the dark liquid no longer seemed a bad idea.

He leant over a little further.

Ohhhhhhhhhh, it was just too good.

“Virgil! What the hell do you think you are doing?!”

It was Scott’s voice. Unmistakeable.

He would want to take away his coffee.

No.

No!

Not his precious coffee!

His brother flew up onto the bench and alighted without a sound. “Virgil!”

Virgil hissed at him. “Go away.”

That earned him a worried frown. “That’s not safe.”

Screw safe, he wanted coffee. He unhooked his thimble cup from his waist and reaching down, scooped up some blessed, steaming liquid manna.

It was hot.

It was delicious.

He poured it down his throat.

Oh, god, yessssss.

Another scoop and he sculled some more. His tongue scalded a little, but he didn’t care.

More.

More.

He was guzzling like a dying man at water filled oasis.

“Virgil?”

“Virgil!”

And suddenly the coffee cup disappeared.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

He over balanced and would have fallen if it wasn’t for a sudden thunk of a grapple on the back of his suit.

He looked up to find Scott securing his grapple line to a coffee cup hook underneath the overhead shelf as Virgil teetered on the edge of his teacup, barely prevented from falling by the cable’s connection to his suit.

And there was no more coffee.

No.

Please.

“I need coffee.”

Scott floated down to Virgil’s eye level and Virgil realised exactly who had taken the coffee cup away.

The director was standing behind his big brother.

Virgil was in so much shit.

Damnit.

“I just want coffee.”

Scott was frowning at him. “Are you okay, Virgil?”

“DO I LOOK OKAY?!”

Um, that may have come out a little bit louder than intended. But then he was hanging partly suspended from an empty coffee cup hook.

Much quieter. “I just need coffee.”

Scott’s eyes were wide. “I think you’ve had enough coffee.”

No, he needed more. Buckets more. “Please, Scott.”

“Uh, no. We’re going home.”

Virgil blinked. “What?”

But Scott had turned away and was talking quietly to the director.

Virgil caught a glimpse of something shiny out the corner of his eye and turned to find a single drop of deep brown gold suspended from the coffee dispenser.

Coffee!

Without thought he leapt for it.

Perhaps it was a good thing that Scott actually did think, because a yank on that grapple line probably prevented Virgil from being scalded.

“What the hell, Virg?!”

He blinked as he hung fully suspended by his brother’s grapple line, swinging slowly back and forth, one very unhappy commander glaring at him.

Umm, yeah, maybe that was taking it a step too far.

Scott’s words were firm. “Shed the suit and go and sit in the car.”

“Sco-“

“Now.” Blue fire lasered him where he hung.

Virgil gave in with a single nod.

Scott lowered him to the bench top and Virgil dropped the suit with a clatter. He stomped off in a huff as Sadie was called over the PA system to come and assist him.

He only wanted a decent coffee, for crying out loud.

After all, Gordon did get that massive hot dog the other day, and John had slept in his bagel, for goodness sake.

Why couldn’t he have his coffee?

It just wasn’t fair.

-o-o-o-

FIN.

[ncityislove]

The Jury is Out Ch. 3

➳Pairing: Renjun x Reader x Jeno (ft a few other Dreamies)

➳Genre: Angsty fluff but mostly angst lol basically enemies to lovers

➳Word Count:4.6k

Hiiii guys! It’s been over a year since I started this series and this has taught me so many things. Mainly, how much I can not be trusted to start and finish a series lol. The last two chapters will be out soon. I really mean it this time.

Previous Chapter  Next Chapter

There's an awful pounding in your head from the looming headache you didn't see going away anytime soon. Your over-bearing thoughts being added into the mix is plain unbearable as you wait for your first class to start and your sour mood only worsens when you recall the unfolding of yesterday's events. The strong sense of shame was overwhelming like a dark cloud hanging over your head. How did you get here? Your biggest mistake was letting your guard down to the likes of Renjun. That's where it all went wrong. You try telling yourself you don't need him as a friend. You have Jeno. But you can't silence the desire in your heart to have something more than a partnership. You'd gotten a taste of what's it like to be under the warm rays of his kindness after being on the receiving end of the endless blizzard of the cold reign he had over you and the entire school. That wasn't something you could just forget.

When Renjun arrives, he takes his place right next to you, unpacking his items as if it were the most normal thing in the world. You don't know why he isn't sitting in his usual seat when you didn't have a lab today. You frown but silently remove your bag from the chair next you, nonetheless.

He sits down eagerly, glancing at you a moment longer than socially acceptable. "I like your hair."

Your hands immediately grip the strands.  After the party, you decided to forgoes the ponytail and headband combo that you'd been sporting for so long. "Oh, um, thanks."

Was that a compliment just now?

"Where were you yesterday, by the way?"

"I was sick, so I missed first period," he states, not even missing a beat.

Unbelievable. He's lying straight to your face. You frown distastefully.

"That's not what Chenle had to say."

"Hm? Chenle? He's always pulling pranks—I wouldn't buy anything that comes out of his mouth," he laughs.

You glare at him for a moment. "You didn't get my texts messages?"

He smiles sheepishly. "Oh...sorry about that. I was...um...busy?"

You turn the other way to discretely roll  your eyes. "Are you okay at least?"

"Yeah, never better!"

You shake your head, not wanting to seem like you actually cared despite the fact that deep down you knew you did. It's crazy that all it took was one little afternoon alone together and suddenly Renjun matters to you. All those years of being at each other's throats out the window. Just like that. It was different now. You were more mindful of each other's feelings and it's even gotten to the point where you're receiving compliments. It was a change that you still hadn't adjusted to but maybe it wasn't as lousy as you made it seem. The horrible excuses and lies weren't something you were fond of but it's not like you were friends so you kept that to yourself. You just wished he'd tell you the truth or even hearing that he didn't want to talk about it would've been fine. You didn't see why he had to lie...

You had to remind yourself that you shouldn't be so concerned with Renjun. It was weirding you out that you were thinking about him so much lately. As much as you hated to admit it, you might've maybe felt something for him in that teeny split second after you made up on the field. You never really noticed how funny he was bc you were always the butt of the joke but it turns out he was pretty hilarious. And his voice was so sweet and calming you could probably listen to it forever. But whatever it was—that moment your heart skipped a beat— was gone. It was crazy to even think—there was no way you'd ever say that out loud. Clearly, Renjun would never reciprocate.

If only Haven could see you now.

Renjun turns his body toward you, giving you his full attention. "Are we meeting at the track after school?"

"I have volleyball practice but we can meet after, if you want."

"Yeah, cool," he says, looking pleased.

"Are you sure you're okay though?"

The question had been on your mind since yesterday. Maybe something happened with his dad and he didn't want to say anything. According to Jeno, he didn't talk about that stuff much but you still wanted to make sure he was okay.

"Huh?" he looks at you strange. "Yeah, I'm good."

"Are you sure? I mean, you can tell me if you're not." You regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth.

He snickers, his face glowing with a big smile. "Are you worried about me?"

You scowl to hide your panic. What was happening  to you? "As if," you scoff.

"Aww, you care about me! Who knew the coldest person in the world had a heart?" he pinches your cheek.

You violently slap his hand away and he jerks back.

"Don't!" you point a finger in his face. "touch me. Never again. Got it?"

"Alright," Renjun chuckles lightly. "My bad. Whatever you say."

When class starts, the teacher pulls up her usual PowerPoint and you begin messily jotting down the first slide. She seems to be in a rush as she breezes over every slide, making it difficult to write down everything in time.

Renjun nudges your arm. You look to see him offering you a piece of gum. You reject it, mouthing a  'no thanks' with a polite smile and scramble to write down the rest of the slide. He purses his lips, taking a piece for himself, leisurely writing his notes.

A few minutes later, he nudges your arm again. "You got any led?"

Your nostrils flare as you let out a sigh, pulling out your pencil pouch for him to find the kind of led he needs. You pick your pencil back up to continue your notes.

"Thanks," he whispers. "Hey, did you get that last slide?"

"Oh my god, no, Renjun!" you whisper-shout at him. "How could I have gotten the last slide when you keep distracting me??"

He starts to giggle and it you get even more heated that he found pleasure in this. You're just to about to curse him out in every language known to man when Mrs. Brookes stops her lesson.

"What's going on back there?" she peers down her bi-focals to stare you down. "__, would you like to tell me what the main parts of the brain are?"

"Umm," you hesitate, your eyes scanning over the board. It must I've been on the last slide--which you didn't get the chance to copy thanks to Renjun.

Mrs. Brooks looks at you impatiently and the class turns to look at you as well when you take too long to answer.

"Cerebellum, frontal lobe, parietal lobe, cerebrum, and the thalamus," Renjun answers, ultimately saving your ass.

"Very good! Thank you, Renjun. Now, as I was saying..." Mrs. Brookes turns back to the whiteboard and continues rambling on about the brain.

"I thought you didn't get the last slide?" you whisper.

"Just because I didn't write it down doesn't mean I wasn't paying attention."

You stare at the side of his face in disbelief and you can tell by the way his cheeks were lifted he was smiling.

Renjun sits with you again in third period. You scoot your stuff over, once again saying nothing. This was getting a little too odd. If you weren't friends why did he keep sitting next to you? You weren't friends, were you? You decide not to ask. Sadie seemed like the right person to confide this type of stuff into.     Your desks were too close together which made Renjun's knee touch yours. You wouldn't have noticed any other time but this time in particular it was hard to not to.

"You should sit with me at lunch from now on."

Definitely getting mixed signals here.

"Why?"

"We're partners. It only makes sense, you know?"

"But we've been partners for years," you interject.

He opens his mouth then closes it. "Well, yeah that's true...but you still should. I won't force you to but I'll be really upset if you don't."

"Upset?" you repeat with a tilt of your head. In what universe would he get upset over anything you did that didn't have to do with you scoring higher than him on an assignment? You didn't understand why he was acting so weird today.

"Yeah and if I get upset, I won't be able to focus on the booth." his tone is sad and it tugs at your heart for some reason.

"Well...if that's the case, I'll do it. For the sake of the booth."

He smiles triumphantly. "Right. For the booth."

The kid who usually sits next to you walks over and stands there awkwardly before he finds an empty seat somewhere else. You try not to laugh at how uncomfortable Renjun looks.     Class goes by smoothly this time, Renjun only bugging you every once in a while to compare answers on your worksheet. When the bell rings, you and Renjun walk to lunch together. He's talking to you about the Pythagorean theorem but you keep getting distracted by the odd looks people keep giving you in the hall.     You weren't used to getting this much attention. You're existence was pretty much irrelevant unless something happened with your rivalry and it was usually only gossip worthy if he had done something incredibly embarrassing to you. Renjun, being the top of the class and being friends with almost all the members in the the school sports teams on the other hand, was very popular. You couldn't begin to imagine the confusion you two were causing just by walking to into the cafeteria together. He was always the center of attention and much like Sadie, he was born likeable. It was easy for him to make friends and juggle the delicate balance of having a social life and performing well academically. You were a nobody compared to him and up until now you were fine with that. It was easier to focus on your studies without the distractions from others and what drama friendships with others would bring but you had to admit having someone to walk to lunch with was strangely nice.     Jisung is the first person to see you coming, a look of recognition crossing his face. Chenle was next; he smiles sending you a friendly wave. You say hello, sitting your tray down next to Jeno and Renjun sits on the other side of you.

"Hey, beautiful, what're you doing here?" Jeno asks.

You flush at the pet name. "I think as Renjun's partner, we should take advantage of the free time we have to work together."

"Oh god, you two are so much alike," Haechan groans.

"I think it's cute," Chenle beams.

Jaemin fake gags and everyone bursts into laughter except for you who didn't find it all that funny.

The laughter dies down.

"Will you be spending all of your free time with Renjun?" Jeno asks.

"Of course not," you wrinkle your nose at the silly question.

"In that case, would you like to go out on a date? How's tonight?"

You drop your carton of milk on the table that thankfully you hadn't opened it yet. You must've misheard him. You know the words he said to you and yet, you couldn't believe they were meant for you. Your stammer for words. Any words. But they don't come and the whole table is staring at you in anticipation.

"I...can't. I have practice after school and then I have to work on the booth. I'm sorry."

The boys "ooh" in unison like a bunch of fifth graders.

"It's not like that!" you scramble to fix your words. "We can go another day?"

Jeno's eyes disappear as he gives you the most heartwarming smile. You can't help but smile back at him.

Chenle clears his throat. "What do you think about that, Renjun?"

Renjun's picking at the edge of his foam tray when he shrugs. "I couldn't care less."

Chenle gives him a glare as if he's trying to convey some message to him but Renjun doesn't meet his eyes so he elbows the crap out of him.

"Argh!" he rubs his arm. "Fine. I admit I don't approve."

The table gets quiet. You and Jeno share the same expression of surprise.

Jeno juts out his chin. "Why not? And don't say she's too good for me."

"Renjun clenches his fists. "It'll distract __ from school and I don't think that's what she wants."

Jeno snorts. "It's just one date. I think she'll be fine. And when we do become a couple—which we will, I'll make sure of that—I won't distract from her school work."

"Yeah, but I don't think—"

"Plus, you used to have a girlfriend—what's the difference?"

The atmosphere tenses at the mention of Haven and Jeno looks sorrowful as the boys send him ferocious looks.

"Shit...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"When does practice end?" Renjun changes the subject.

You're still confused as to what's going on. "Who? Me?"

"Yes, you, dummy," he grins.

You ignore the fact that he just called you a dummy. "It ends at four but I can leave early."

"Mind if I come and watch?" Jeno asks.

"Sure!" you get excited at the thought of Jeno watching you play.

"No fair! I wanna come too!" Jisung exclaims.

Jaemin reaches out to pat him on the shoulder. "Absolutely not. You're not going anywhere near those girls, you pervert."

You crack up at the two, unaware of the concerned look Chenle's giving Renjun as he silently scribbles dark circles in his notebook.

-

You arrive to the school gym, hauling the equipment the coach had you fetch. The girls are all huddled in a circle, gossiping most likely. You set up the net and clear the court of the smelly matts that were left behind from a previous class. You could ask for help but you were sure no one wanted to.

You break up their little party after you get another text of instructions from the coach.

"Ladies, coach says she's not coming until the end of practice so we're starting without her. Let's start stretching, okay?"

The girls spread out and begin to warm up and you join them. Everyone's following instructions except for Haven, who's still standing in the same spot.

"Haven," you say in a warning tone.

"Why can't we just hang out until coach gets here? She doesn't have to know."

Her smile is innocent but you know there's nothing innocent about the girl.

Everyone agrees, the room filling with murmurs.

You already sense anger rising in your body. It seems like every time Haven opened her mouth, it was always to go against you. Maybe her and Renjun were the perfect couple after all.

"Guys, c'mon. If we slack off, we'll throw the next game and lose our winning streak."

"No way, skipping one day of practice won't cost us some measly game. You're being a little dramatic, don't 'ya think?"

"Some measly game?" you repeat.

"You don't even care about winning. Haven, you don't care about this team at all—why should any of us listen to you? I am captain of this team, in case you've forgotten."

"Oh god here we go again," she sighs. "That's just a title. That doesn't make you the boss of me."

"Oh, yes it does. I can get your ass kicked off the team with one word. Coach trusts me, all I have to do is say it. Should I have a chat with her when gets here?"

Haven gets as red as a tomato, her lips poking out in an ugly pout. You almost laugh at how childish she is. It was a mystery how people adore her so much when she's got such an ugly attitude.

"Since you all agree with Haven, let's do ten laps. C'mon."

Everyone gives Haven dirty looks as they get up and start their laps.

"Let's go girls, I'd like to get this over with so we can start practice." you clap your hands to speed them up. "And Haven? You get an extra ten laps."

Haven flips you off before she runs off but you don't really care. At least, she was listening to you for once. You hear a door slam upstairs and Jeno struts in, taking a seat at the back of the bleachers. He's smiling as he waves to you, giving you a thumbs up. You can't help but match his smile as you wave back.

When everyone's finished their laps and done their stretches, you split them into two teams. You're opposing Haven's team and boy, do they suck. They're losing embarrassingly bad and you're not even the one who's hitting the ball. One of your best players, Sana, was dragging the other team through the mud. Mina and Momo always made sure the ball got passed to her and when she swung her fists, the ball connected with the ground every time. Haven hated lots of things but you knew most of all, she hated to lose. This was the only reason you haven't kicked her off yet. She wasn't the best player—not even close—but she did like to win. You don't know what made her join the team in the first place but she did and she always tried to win when it really came down to it.

You switch positions on both sides, you serving the ball this time. You throw the ball up high, spreading your fingers apart as you raise your hand and slam your palm against it so hard, there's a loud thud that echoes through the gym. The other team throws themselves to save the ball but their efforts are in vain. The ball is too fast for them. Applause comes from the top right corner of the room and everyone turns to look at Jeno. You pretend you don't notice him, calling the ball back but your flushed face exposes you anyway.

Jeno whoops and cheers every time you scored a point, and let's be real, with the skills you have, that means it happens a lot. You never had someone who wasn't your parents or your coach cheer you on like this and it was something you found you really enjoy. You could get used to this. For a moment you let yourself imagine him attending your future games. Your stomach fills with butterflies and you could almost hear him calling your name when you dive to save the ball.

"Why's Jeno here?" Haven whispers to to one of her friends. "Since when was __ close to Jeno?"

You smirk, waving Jeno over after letting everyone take a short break. The two of you laugh and talk for a bit, ignoring the cold stare Haven's giving you in the distance. She was in a bitchy mood today and you weren't going to let that ruin your time with Jeno. Her witchy attitude has peaked since the first time Renjun invited you to his table. Maybe she was jealous. She probably was still hurting from the break up you assumed but that had nothing to do with you.

-

Jeno walks you to the track field where you find Renjun, who's already gotten a head start. His jacket is thrown over his bookbag and you take notice for the first time how toned his arms are with his sleeves rolled up. He looks up when hears your footsteps, the smile on his face slowly fading when he notices Jeno next to you.

"Oh great. What are you doing here?"

You laugh at his displeased expression. "He's just leaving, calm down."

"Actually," he interjects. "since I'm here, why don't I stay and help out?" Jeno proposes.

"Oh!" you let out an excited squeal you didn't know you were capable of. "That's great idea! Yes!"

"Absolutely not!" Renjun rolls his eyes. "Go home, Jeno. You'll just get in the way."

Jeno juts his bottom lip out and you have to keep yourself from swooning at how adorable he looks.

"Renjunie!" he whines. "I promise not to get in the way. Let me help?"

You give him pleading eyes behind Jeno's back. Renjun looks at you and grunts, muttering something inaudible as he starting hammering away at a slab of wood a little too hard.

"Yes!" Jeno takes off his jacket and gets to work.

"This is a one-time thing," Renjun declares, his back turned to the both of you.

"Right, right, got it," Jeno quickly agrees. "Let me help you with that," he runs over to carry the bucket of paint you were holding.

You watch him lug the heavy object to the table. "Oh, thanks, but I had it."

Renjun rolls his eyes again.

You find him repeatedly trying to get Jeno to go home as you work. Each and every time Jeno would laugh it off, calling him grumpy. You could tell his mood was off but you didn't want to bother him by asking why. He never told you those kinds of things anyway so why go through the trouble of asking? He never laughs when Jeno makes one of his famous jokes and he doesn't look at you when you speak to him. You wish he wouldn't be such a fun killer but he was almost always like this—even at parties, you've come to find out.

When you start to lose daylight, you decide to call it quits for the day.

"I think we can wrap up for now," you beam. "We're nearly finished thanks to Jeno."

Renjun's bag is already slung over his shoulder by the time you finish your sentence. "See ya."

"Yeah...I'll see you," you trail off as he sprints down the field.

"What's his problem?" Jeno asks aloud.

You shrug just as your phone starts to jingle that annoying ringtone you set it to over a year ago. You dig it out of your back pocket and read the caller ID. It's Sadie.

"Hello?'

"Hey! Listen, I'm so, so, sorry, I totally spaced about picking you up after school. I'm out with Jodie right now."

You can't help the displeased noise that comes from you at the sound of Jodie's name. "That's cool, I guess. I can just walk like I usually do."

"Are you sure? We can come and get you in about twenty minutes."

"We?  Yeah, no thanks. I promise, I'll be fine."

"I promised mom and dad I'd pick you--hold on. Jodie, I'm on the phone...what?"

There's whispering then a short silence on the other line and you give Jeno an awkward smile.

"Um, okay, be safe walking. Sorry again! Bye!"

Click.

"So, you're walking home today."

"Yep. My sister conveniently forgot about my existence, so yeah, I'm walking."

Jeno's eyes light up. "Do you live close by? I can walk you home."

Your chest fills with warmth at the gesture. Lee Jeno. You had Lee Jeno offering to take you home. Renjun's bad attitude had left a nasty taste in your mouth but hanging out with Jeno sweetened your day just like that.

Renjun had a way of hurting you in ways no one else could. You didn't know why what he thought of you was so important to you, or why everything he had to say held such a huge weight. He wasn't exactly someone you were very fond of so who cares what he had to say? But Jeno. Jeno always had kind and encouraging words. He was the safe band-aid you needed after being cut by Renjun's blunt words. His razor sharp tongue and eyes for daggers always stung but Jeno protected you. He defended you.

So you say yes to his offer and you make the bold move of linking your elbows which Jeno reacts with a subtle pink tint in his cheeks. Your pace is slow to lengthen the journey, allowing you a chance to get to know each other a bit more.

As time progresses, you realize you had liked Jeno more than you initially thought you did. School had always kept you from exploring your feelings for him. Now, it was clear as ever how you felt about him. You'd turn into a bashful mess at every single flirty comment he'd make, which would only fuel him to flirt harder. He made good company and you wished you hadn't have waited so long to speak to Jeno. You couldn't remember the last time you were this engaged in a conversation with someone--disregarding the one time with Renjun because he's a jerk.

If this is what it's like to have a friend, you had been missing out all these years. He made you feel warm inside like those cheesy rom-coms Sadie loved so much.

His arm was tucked snugly into yours, your steps matching in pace as you neared the street you lived on. You could smell the pleasant fragrance Jeno wore from the close proximity and it brought you back to the night you were drunkenly dancing together. You still couldn't believe you drank alcohol but then again, who lives by a code of conduct in high school? Who was going to punish you for acting your age for once? On second thought your parents would probably ground you for life but that's not the point. The point is you're starting to learn what fun is. If you can't be the best then what's stopping you from enjoying life while you're still young? Looking at Jeno in the stark red haze the sky is dawning on him made you want to do just that. He made you want to live a normal life.

You playfully bump each other, cracking jokes until you reach the driveway of your residence with hesitance. You weren't ready to depart just yet.

"Well," you remove your arm from his. "This is me."

"Aww," he sigh a little. "Well it was nice walking with you."

"Yeah, you too. I'd invite you inside but no one's home and my parents would crucify me if I let you in."

You hadn't realized it but in the few seconds you had looked away, Jeno had gotten closer. Really close. You feel a rapid heat spread all over and you struggle to keep a normal expression.

Jeno smiles before grabbing your elbow to yank you even nearer, his eyes studying yours as he speaks his next words to you carefully.

"Do you wanna kiss me?"

Your mouth goes dry and all you could do is nod, numbly.

He cracks another smile and you were instantly mesmerized by the way his lips curls over his teeth and the thought of how his lips would feel on yours. Your heart stills for a moment. You shut your eyes with baited breath as his lips gets closer to yours.

Slowly, very slowly he kisses you. It was an odd but welcoming feeling, kissing a boy. But you liked it. And you liked Jeno.

Jeno removes himself from you after a few amazing seconds. You're still incredibly close to him and you can tell he's tempted to kiss you again but he holds himself back.

"Text me?"

You nod, maybe a little too eagerly but you didn't care. The hot temperature of his lips left a lingering impression on you and you had a feeling you won't ever be able to rid yourself of the memory.

He holds up a hand before he jogs off down the pale path of the sidewalk, unintentionally leaving you with a mass of confused and excited thought and a small voice in the back of your brain that wouldn't shut up about Renjun and his recent odd behavior.

[saidelia-draconis]

✖ - a repressed memory

  A strange, guttural retch. The searing light. The promise of new opportunity and a new day. The man recoiled as sunlight crept into the room and flooded his vision. It made him ill. As did everything at this hour. He could hear the chirp of birds and the whirring of insects deep within his skull. The sounds rattled through him, leaving an uncomfortable buzzing sensation. The pillow beneath him that smells of sweat was especially pungent. He felt unsettled. He felt like retching.

  With the delicacy of a wounded man, he pushed himself to his feet, stumbling to the washroom. The basin laid out the night before still held the tepid waters within. He cast a nervous glance down at it. He cupped his hands, bringing the cool water up to his face, attempting to wash away the events of the night before. The water was tinged slightly red as it ran down his wrists, giving him pause. He allowed the bowl to steady, examining himself in the reflection of the small pool. Shrewd and glowering, beady little eyes stared back at him. A broad, and high forehead. What little hair he had left was thinning, and disheveled. Wide, rosy cheeks, and a bulbous red nose. A visage he hardly recognized any longer. Barely a man in his early thirties, he had aged years in a short span.

  What drew his attention this morning was the unusual turn his nose took. Black blood dried on his upper lip. He hadn’t the faintest idea who, or what had been so cross with him as to knock him across the face. He only knew it was likely justified. A wave of shame washed over him. For a time, it almost distracted him from his splitting headache. He finished washing, no longer interested in the face staring back at him. When he had finished, he clasped the neck of a bottle, gazing down at the soft, amber liquid inside. ‘Next week,’ he told himself with a resigned sigh. He would have time to prepare that way.

  He raised the bottle to his lips, choking back several mouthfuls of the acrid liquid, wiping his mouth. He also dashed a bit of the liquid over his nose. He nearly dropped the bottle. Tears welled up in his eyes. He clutched his nose, stopping short of touching the injured tissue. He balled up a fist, pounding the wall to distract himself from the pain. With slow, measured breaths, he recovered from the ordeal to find a figure standing half in, half out of the doorway. A wave of guilt washed over him. No doubt she had thought his fist in the wall was him trying to summon her.

“Papa? I heard you knocking. Are we going to the stable?”

  He crouched down to her level, his eyes trying to meet hers. Her gaze remained downcast. The resentment she carried was almost palpable, though she would never voice it. She was six, maybe seven. He had lost count. The vibrant red hair that framed her face made him sad, bitter and, nostalgic all at once. Still, he quashed the ill feelings in favor of magnanimity. Or at least, as much as he was capable. He dropped his hand from his nose, holding his arms open. She did not approach.

“No, Sadie, I’m sorry. That wasn’t to you, I was...”

  He stopped short, having no excuse.

“Never mind, I’m sorry, Sadie. I’ll be ready in a minute. Are you ready to get to the stables with me?”

“Yes, papa.”

  He hardly stopped to dress. The clothes from the previous night hadn’t many more stains on them than the rest of his wardrobe. He threw on his drab overcoat, slipping the bottle into a sewn pocket inside. Just enough to carry him to the day’s end. He tried to take the girl’s hand as the two left the semi-dilapidated shack. She recoiled from his touch. He did not pursue.

  The pair trod the dirt path towards the stable in silence, Oreyn still left with a gutted feeling. Worse still that he had none other to blame than himself. The bottle kept hitting him in the belly as he walked, a near-constant reminder. They were heralded with the stench of horses shortly before their arrival. The pair changed their boots in silence, stepping into the stable. The smell of horses only caused Oreyn’s stomach to turn. He handed Saidelia her shovel, nodding stiffly.

“You start with the new arrivals. I’ll start in the back.”

  He left the girl to tend to half of his work. The easier half, he told himself. It did little to make him feel better. She should have started schooling recently. But it was a worry for times more plentiful. Holing himself up in the pen with the mare, he fidgeted with his coat, choking back more of the bottle in secret before starting. It did little to help his work, but the disquiet in his stomach was stilled for at least another few moments. Though it’d be back. It always was.

  He worked in silence, the bottle stowed in a netting with nearby equipment. He took nips throughout his work as needed. Little by little, his troubles seemed less poignant. He felt better, less worried by his surroundings and his situation. He smelled the stables less. Instead, that sour, sterile smell that hissed in vapors up from his mouth to his nose. Before long, he was back in stride.

  Without the little distractions, he worked tirelessly. Perhaps not efficiently, though he could muck the stables adeptly enough not to draw the ire of the stablemaster. He doubled back, checking the girl’s progress. Less than halfway done, he found her in the midst of trying to push the last of the soiled sawdust out of a pen. He felt a twinge of anger. What had she been doing all this time? He worked nearly half as fast as her, and she hadn’t woken up in any state similar to hers. He hit the head of his muckrake against the stone floor to get her attention. She jumped, dropping hers. It was several times taller than her. He tried patients, ultimately failing. His eyes scrutinizing her.

“Saidelia. I’ve gotten all my pens done by now, what the fuck is the holdup?”

“Sorry, papa. I--”

“You what? They’re either done, or they’re not. Are they done, or are they not?”

“Not, papa...”

“We’ve got shit to get done after this, pick up the pace.”

  He shook his head, wandering down the rows of pens. He revisited his first stable, retrieving his bottle and taking another hearty slug before pocketing it. On his way back, he was approached by a lanky, tired-looking man in a tailored suit. He had wispy grey hair and a semi-permanent scowl. His face was contorted into a look of disgust as he surveyed the stablehand. His bloodied shirt, the various other stains that decorated his clothes.

“Draconis.”

“Mister Harrington. You need something?”

“I take it you didn’t receive my note, then.”

“I got shit to do, Harrington. Spit it out, or let me get back to it, yeah?”

“Very well. Since you evidently can’t work it out on your own, pepper was to be saddled and hitched prior to my arrival.”

  He reached towards Oreyn, snapping his fingers inches away from the man’s face.

“That means get off of your pickled ass and get to work before I have words with Mr. Tember about the discrepancy of your instructions and your work.”

  The rage within Oreyn roiled once again as he was ordered about by the domineering man. Unlike the child, Harrington posed a threat to him. He settled for sloppily applying the saddle, leading the horse to the post and handing the reins off to the scowling man. He thrust the bridle into the man’s chest with a venomous glare. Harrington smirked, starting the process of mounting his horse. Oreyn elected not to help.

“You know what I find so amusing about you, Draconis?”

He did not answer.

“You seem insistent that you’re above your station. Your... Noble heritage, as it was. Myself? I was the son of a cheesemonger. You were the son of some Grand Alliance general. Now I have business to tend to that involves more gold than you make in a year. And you? You stink of cheap bourbon when you wake up late in the morning. Not to mention your business with that fisherman last night... What is his name, Francis? You don’t even fight like you used to be a guard. But I suppose that’s hard when you’re piss drunk. Have a good day, Oreyn. Give my best to that little one of yours. Light knows she doesn’t deserve to have you.”

  Harrington departed before Oreyn could retaliate. Just as well. He ran after the man, shouting curses that seemed to go either unheeded or unheard. He was left alone in the road, feeling foolish. He turned back to the stables, finishing his day with little more than a few murmurs of discontentment. It seemed that the girl was actively avoiding him now, not that he cared at this point.

  The setting of the sun was sign enough that the day was over, the two of them walking back home together at a distance. The door swung open and shut with a loud clatter, almost threatening to fall off its hinges. The man ignored it, shaking his head. Instead, he rummaged about in the cupboards, pulling out anything he could make for dinner. Saidelia glanced up at him nervously, stepping out of arm’s reach. Her voice was uncertain. He paid her little mind, having given up on dinner, sitting at the table.

“Papa? Do we have dinner tonight?”

“No. Get your shit and go see Esther and Francis. I’ll figure it out tonight.”

  He took a pull from his bottle as he waved her away. She didn’t need to be told twice. The sound of the door opening, and clattering against the frame once again. He didn’t bother to check for her, finally content with his solitude.

“Fuck sakes... Why’d you do this to me, Candice? Out in the boondocks, and I have to raise a kid by myself. I didn’t ask for this shit. I never even wanted the girl.”

  The door opened once again. Saidelia had forgotten to grab the grubby blanket off of her bed. The man turned, realizing his error. Saidelia was already gone. The door clattered against the frame once again leaving the man sitting alone at the table with a fresh wave of guilt. Even in his haze, it managed to sting. He took another swig off of the bottle. He could only hope that the girl wouldn’t remember his remark. Neither of them would.

(Thanks for the ask, @kevyn-thornrough-deactivated202! I hope you come back to us soon.)

[bluboothalassophile]

Hey! I just started reading the HfaB universe stuff. And I really like reading your stuff with Terry. I was hoping for some stuff with older Lian. Since she is probably my favourite kid in the comics. I think it would be cool tho to see some Terry and Lian besties interaction

Hello,

Lian and Terry are HfaB besties but for whatever reason this one shot did not go in that direction, but I hope you enjoy older Lian! =)

Sadie Hawkins Problems...

Lian Thea Harper was not a wuss, nor was she intimidated, and she firmly believed that she could take whatever problem came at her head on and with a lot of fire power backing her up.

After all, she was the daughter of Roy Harper and Jason Todd.

And YES, she was their daughter, didn’t matter that both her dads were married, they were her parents well before they had gotten hitched. Which was why, Lian had a problem at school with the Sadie Hawkins Dance, she would fucking handle it! It wasn’t like she was a pussy and couldn’t ask a guy out!

She was not a lesbian or something despite the rumors flying around behind her back; she was aware of the rumors, she just didn’t give a shit. If the best thing people had to obsess about was the sexual identity of someone who was not them, then they were sad folks. Besides, it wasn’t like it would fucking matter. Sex was private and personal and everyone else’s opinions could butt out.

But the problem was, she had boasted she’d be at the dance; with a date, and even if it killed her (because it really and truly just might), she would have a date for the night. Allie Jackson had ignited the challenge to Lian by laughing in Lian’s face when Lian had straight up said she would love to go to the dance but she had plans. Then Ally had proceeded to inform Lian that she was essentially an ugly, tasteless cow who wouldn’t dare to show her face at the Sadie Hawkins dance in shame because her unfeminine self couldn’t even attract a guy. Lian of course had only just refrained from punching Allie in her stupid face, but stated she’d be there, in a dress and with a date! And the problem was: no guy apparently was ballsy enough to just man up and say yes to her. She had asked her crush, the linebacker on Varsity, but he said he was waiting on Sandy Swanson’s ask, her second crush, the point guard, had said no so nervously after assuring her he was flattered and thought it sweet she was trying to stay in the closet but he was going out of the closet (yeah, that one was a shock), and the geek in chemistry, he had had an asthma attack and she had run him to the nurse’s office.

Which was what brought her into the Young Justice meeting.

Normally she would NEVER do this. But she was desperate.

Her team, her childhood friends, who were really more like siblings, if she was honest, consisted of Mar'i Grayson (who could literally get anyone she wanted if she asked), Helena Wayne (who was liable to steal it if people didn’t just hand it over to her), Max (Terry’s BFF at school who was tech support, and who also could get anyone she asked out to say yes), and Terry. There was also Mareena Curry (Princess of Atlantis), Nora West, Lara Kent, and finally, there was Tai Pham.

Her options were limited, but she’d be damned if she let Allie Jackson be right. She refused, so that left her desperate and scraping the bottom of the barrel as she stalked into YJ HQ and saw Terry working with his older brother on hand to hand while Jason talked the gathered members through what Robin was doing.

Lian stalked to the locker room, not even acknowledging her dad as she went there; she’d change, have a spar and then proceed to blackmail Terry into attending the dance with her; or Tai. The problem was she didn’t have blackmail on Tai, so she’d probably be blackmailing Terry.

Briefly Lian paused in the mirror, she was in sweats and a sports bra, and she looked at herself seriously in the mirror. Okay, so she wasn’t queen of the looks department like her biological mother was. Her black hair never laid down nicely, her nose had been busted when she was ten and testing on of Grandpa Ollie’s arrows, her face wasn’t bad, and she didn’t have a curvy figure but she was tall and athletic, she wasn’t gangly or disproportionate. She had nice skin, though there was a bit of acne on her brow from her domino mask, but she wasn’t ugly. Sure she had never put on all that makeup or dressed up for school; usually sticking to hoodies, jeans and boots, but she wasn’t hopeless!

Sighing she yanked her hair up and zipped up her hoodie. Perhaps the problem was she was tall and athletic, it wasn’t like people knew she was Speedy!

Lian sighed as she slumped against the wall and Mar'i flounced over. She could envy Mar'i, think everything was easier for Mar'i but Lian knew that that was far from the truth. Nothing had been easy for Mar'i Grayson, she knew that, but still, Lian kind of envied Mar'i for looking like a goddess.

“What’s got a frown on that face?” Mar'i giggled poking Lian’s dimple.

“Stupid stuff,” she snapped glaring at Mar'i.

“I doubt that,” Mar'i giggled. “Come on, you can tell me!”

“I need a stupid date for that stupid Sadie Hawkins Dance or that dumb bitch Allie Jackson is going to make my life a living hell for the remaining two years of high school!” Lian shrieked. And she really wanted to punch Mar'i for giggling at her plight.

“You need a date!?” her head snapped over to Tai who stood there looking at her and Mar'i.

“Uh… yeah,” she grimaced.

“I have never been to a high school dance before, it could be fun! Can I go!?” Tai pleaded.

“This was way easier than I was expecting,” Lian said.

“Is that a yes!?” he grinned. “I know all the cool dances and I promise not to geek out and make you uncool!” he promised.

“Uh… I’m cool with geeking out, so long as we don’t debate Star Wars.”

“Deal!” Tai grinned.

Lian smiled at the smaller Green Lantern and was immensely grateful to have him around now as she accepted him as her date for the Sadie Hawkins Dance.

“I get to pick the dress and pretty you up so Allie Jackson can eat her words!” Mar'i whispered as Tai bounced off.

“Obviously I need yours and Helena’s help!” Lian muttered.

[the-fickle-muse]

The future has fangs

Colleseum AU timeline.  Set post SUF  3k words.

Chapter 2 : A tiger in the woods.

The dining room was surprisingly quite empty as Steven and Connie began their breakfast. The manager, a nice lady with short hair, had chalked it up to Beach City incidents driving people away lately. He likely would have found that funny if it weren't for… well. You know.

"So, let's start again-" Connie chirped from behind a mouthful of buttered toast. Her back a little stiff after sleeping on the brick-like mattresses of the B&B. "You'd heard weird noises all night but didn't go check it out?"

"It's been keeping me awake, yeah. I thought maybe it was just a wild animal but…" He trailed off, picking with little appetite at the chunky breakfast sausage sitting on his plate, eventually giving up and tossing it to lion with a sigh. "I guess I thought once I left Beach city all the gem stuff would start going away."

A soft ache at Connie's chest forced her mouth to twist into a sad smile. Of course Steven wanted to get away from it all. It was just an awfully timed coincidence that a corrupted gem of all things would appear now. "Well, since we're only a day or so away, we could poof it  and I can deliver it to the gems to cleanse the corruption. You don't have to come back if you don't want to." 

The awkward expression he gave her quickly shut that idea down, remembering that Steven would need to be present to actually fix the gem. As much as taking a bottle of his spit back would work, in theory, it wasn't a particularly pleasant plan.

"No." He resigned, pushing the mostly empty plate away in defeat. "It's no big deal, just one more gem, right?" The concern in Connie's eyes was almost convincing, but he soon stood up and nodded firmly to confirm his thoughts. "Don't worry, Connie. If I wanted to say no I'd say no. Or I'd make some kind of joke about it..."

Her little chortling sounded like music to his ears. So goofy and sweet. The good kind of pink flush rushed to his rounded cheeks as she rose from her seat and shook her head. "I couldn't convince you not to if I tried, Steven Universe, but it was worth a shot." Her eyes sparkle with an idea, Lion nosing his head onto her plate to grab at the leftovers. "You know, there is one thing you could do to make this better for the both of us."

"And-" Steven is caught during the reply as Connie hopped forward to plant a peck on his cheek. "-uh, wuh, what would that be?" He stammered, blinking away the kiss with a giddy smile.

"I want you to sit this one out." It was clear and concise. Confidently worded as she let her hand linger on his shoulder, watching for the predictable 'wait what?' expression before continuing. "I can handle this, Steven." Her smile lowered, eyes drifting to lion who had finished clearing their plates and was grooming one of the many spots of missing fur from yesterday. "I really don't think-"

"Thank you." 

That one little phrase stopped Connie in her tracks, eyes flicking back to him in surprise. "I… guess it was obvious I really don't want to fight, huh." He chuckled running a hand up the back of his neck. "I get it, too, that I'm not really ok to be… I don't feel comfortable after…" Oh Steven. She understood perfectly well, that's why she even brought it up. But to accept that, and understand, was already such a big leap. She didn't know whether to feel proud or pity him.

She pulled him into a soft, warm, one armed hug. Patting his back a few times before they both cleaned up their table and bid farewell to the cheerful manager. Connie pullined the heavy Pink sword from Lion's mane as they approached the main road, hoisting it up onto her shoulder with one arm while her free hand lay interlocked with Stevens.

The distant rolling thunder of cars surfing over the well kept roads almost gave the outdoors some form of white noise. The brushing of leaves and twittering of small sparrows overtaking the city symphony as they hurried across the asphalt and into the treeline. Her knees and hands, all the way up to the wrist, had been wrapped in clean, sturdy, bandages. The many little scrapes from yesterday were a learning experience, already healed with Steven's help.

The woodlands were just as they had been yesterday. Yet the sky was much different. Swirling wisps of cloud danced around like silk, taken easily in the cool breeze. The sun, not yet having risen enough to beam brightly, cast the horizon in deep golds and oranges. It reminded Steven of his early mornings back home. Rushing to the big doughnut to meet Sadie and Lars. Getting early access to last night's fry-bits from Peedee. It was a warm, Cozy feeling to be thinking of those kinds of mornings.

The minutes flew by, as did yesterday's landmarks. Passing the monolith, then the arrow-trail, and finally coming to the clearing from before. Steven took a long sigh-like breath as he finally let go of Connie and the both of them warily explored the battlezone.

He remembered the direction the gem had taken off in, but felt at a loss when he tried to imagine how far it may have gone by now. After all, gems don't need sleep like they did. And for all he knows it could have been running since their encounter. Broken twigs, a vaguely large break in the opposing bushes...

"Steven, come look at this." Connie squatted into a spry crouch, interested in the dirt, which as he got closer revealed a little glimmer of a clue. "Pawprints." She mumbled. A hand wandering idly down to touch the deep indentation in the dust. It was wide, and only had three toes, making a perfect match got the gem they had seen before. A little further forward was another, and around the same area slightly less defined triangular prints also started to show. Marks of the two-toed back feet by the looks of it.

"They look like the right size. What do you think, lion?” He asked cheerily, ruffling Lion's airy mane as the big cat stooped down to sniff at the trail. Dust and specks of grit flew away from his muzzle on every loud exhale. Taking slow meandering steps over the indentations, his ears pricking up every so often like two twitchy antennae. Finally satisfied, he turned around to look eagerly back at Steven and Connie. 

Hesitation was gripping tediously at Steven's bones as he watched Connie stand up and dust off her knees, wanting to reach out and call the whole thing off so what happened yesterday wouldn't repeat itself. But he knew that wasn't an option anymore. He had faith in her but that faith alone couldn't fight away the gnawing unease of the task ahead.

Lion stayed just a pace behind the troublesome duo, eyes wandering idly of their own accord. The bushes they passed had lingering traces of the beast and with every step closer his tail twitched just a little harder. 

It had hurt him, but not out of anger or savagery. No. It was scared. Lost. Abandoned? His first instinct might have been to observe it with curiosity had it not so suddenly attacked Connie. After all, that's exactly what he'd been doing for a week now. Watching it. Following it. The ambush was unexpected. If he'd known it would have behaved so destructively toward his little human companion he never would have brought her.

The slow crawl of changing scenery eventually escaped the dense trees, out into open air. Large walls of stone jutted out of the ground like steep pedestals hosting unknown treasures on top. The tracks they had been following vanished as dirt gave way to gravel and Lion suddenly halted. The scent trail gems left behind would generally grow stronger the closer they got, and right now it was pretty strong.

"Do you think it's here?" Connie whispered gingerly while letting her blade droop in her grasp.

Steven's stomach was in knots. It twisted and wrenched around itself and yet he managed to keep the feeling subdued by watching Connie's face. Her eyes were narrowed and intense. He didn't need to ask to know what was going on in that head of hers. Such blazing determination; it was infectious. "Yeah. It's got to be here." He took a breath, reaching into Lion's mane with an awkward rummage before pulling something small out. "Stand still."

"What?" She made no moves, expecting danger, but instead was greeted by his hands moving softly through her hair. "-Oh." Trying not to catch any stray tangles as he guided it all into a messy ponytail and twisted on a hairband. Earning a sweet smile as a result. "Thank you, Steven!"

The mushy moment didn't last long as without delay Connie took lead of the walk forward. Everyone's eyes scanned the available horizon until not even a minute into the search they found their prize. Snuffling over the cold stone floor, its muzzle pressing to the dust, with its tail dragging along behind it. 

The gem’s ragged pelt rippled golden under the tinted dawn light. Heavy shadows from surrounding pillars casting darkness over large strips of the open area. It didn't seem to notice the approaching trio until Connie slid down a noisy bank of loose pebbles and tumbling rocks. Despite not being able to see any eyes beyond the mounds of fur, she could feel its pinpoint glare lock onto her the moment it looked her way. It’s fur prickled uncomfortably before laying flat again on noticing Lion and Steven still stashed away at the top of the sheer slide.

An eerie silence alerted Connie to the slow drumming of her pulse in her ears. Guarded and tense as her eyes bore into the creatures bottomless hair. She could feel her palms clam up with sweat underneath the bandage straps, frowning as it stayed statuesque in a frozen crouch. 

Yesterday's fight had by no means been one sided. Even after Lion received one too many injuries Connie had held her ground with impressive technique. The creature fought with an air of predictability. A savage instinct that worked to make it stronger yet easier to anticipate. Many of its moves had been so heavily telegraphed she began to wonder if it was being intentionally slow.

The creature took cautious lumbering steps forward, smooth muzzle creasing, low grinding snarls serving as a warning to the determined human still menacingly standing there. The pink blade reflected soft sparkles of light across the floor with a rosy tint. Time fell to a sluggish crawl, neither making a move without the other instigating it. Connie’s patience was stretched further and further, like a boiling tea kettle. Her sweaty palms readjusted on the sword’s thorn-patterned hilt. Teeth began to grind. “Come on….” She hissed under a delayed breath, shuddering at the feeling of their onlooker’s eyes on the back of her neck. “Stop waiting, come at me!”

A thunderous screech echoed off of the surrounding stones. The gem, finally giving way to the human’s harsh demands, charged forward. It was only a few leaps until the colossal figure collided with Connie’s sword. A clash of razor claws on pearly metal threw sparks as its onslaught of blows bounced harmlessly, but not effortlessly, away from the blade. Connie’s feet danced across the dirt in quick, calm, movements. She was ready for a fight today. 

The gem’s Sharp fangs glimmered, reflecting Connie’s face in their smooth polished edges, almost glowing the further into the fight they went. It was hard not to imagine them closing around her arms and shattering the bones inside. A gritty taste invaded Connie’s mouth as their brawl began to throw up clouds of dust.

The beast lowered, a sign Connie recognised immediately from yesterday. A pounce was coming. If it landed on her the amount of force would knock her over. Thinking quickly, she rolled to the left, making sure to stay away from the direction of the glaring sun so it couldn’t get in her eyes. As predicted the gem lunged forward at the moment she dodged, heavy legs swatting onto the sooty stone. Her sword sailed in a wide arc, whistling as she aimed for the Beast’s head…

The sudden drop in momentum was jarring. A reverberating rattle of metal on hard light. The gem’s mouth had caught the blade mid-swing. Connie’s wide eyes tried to process the sight as it too stood silent for a moment before it tugged at the sword, almost pulling it from her grip. Connie, wincing, shoulder still ringing from the sudden impact, dug her shoes into the pebble-ridden ground. She attempted to keep hold of the weapon while dark rumbles roll out of the creature’s mouth.

Finally it let go, though she wasn’t ready for it, and a hard pull sent her stumbling backwards onto the floor. Steven, who had been keeping a hand in Lion's mane for security, stiffened at the sight. The Gem leaned over her, a paw on either side of her legs, while she stared up at it, frozen. 

“...Grrfff.” It huffed, almost disappointed. The beast blew hot air across Connie’s face before it turned around and walked away, leaving her lying propped up on padded elbows with a confused look cemented onto her face. She stared up at where its muzzle had just been before blinking repeatedly and groaning, hauling herself back onto her feet.

Steven’s head felt like it was going to implode, finally breathing out a long weighty breath he didn’t realise was being held. That was lucky. Hold on. No it wasn’t. That was intentional. His brow creased as he walked to the steep gravelly drop, watching the Gem circle away from Connie and then back again. Re-aligning itself in front of her and shaking off the dust that had settled in its mane. “It’s fighting because she asked it to.” The realisation hit like a puzzle piece being put in place. Sucking in air with surprise, he cupped both hands up in front of his mouth. “Connie, it’s sparring with you!”

Connie’s sword hand wobbled uncomfortably as she aimed the blade back at the monster. Conflicted feelings clouded her senses as it once again lurched forward into an attack. Early training days with Pearl echoed in her head. The choreographed movements, the less frantic fighting, stopping on someone’s defeat instead of following through… and then the corrupted gems she had faced before with Steven. Savage and desperate. Life threatening and high-stakes with no hesitation on either side of the field to finish the fight. 

A surge of adrenaline brought a thunderous cry of effort out of her throat, slamming the flat side of the sword across the beast’s face instead of rolling away. The charge redirected as it stumbled over its own feet from the impact and crumpled to the ground, enough momentum in its run to have it roll aimlessly across the stone for a moment. It lay dizzy and dazed from the unexpected strike.

This time the creature was the one on the ground and it was Connie’s turn to blot out the sun. Planting a foot on its large forearm, she lifted the blade to its head, looking down at the creature with an impossible to read expression. In the background, Lion and Steven slid over the steep ledge and made their way to the pair. Connie sighed, lowering the sword again, and took a step away. She couldn’t poof it. It wasn’t like fighting any other corrupted gem they’d encountered before. It wasn’t just some mindless force of destruction. And neither was she.

“Connie, that was amazing!” Steven’s cheers brought her thoughts crashing back to the present as he grabbed her in a big, tight hug. “Not really what we came here to do but… I mean, I think you won, right?” He chuckled, looking from her embarrassed face to the gem beast still lying comfortably on the floor with what almost looked like a smile.

She patted the back of his jacket, looking uneasily from him to Lion and finally the creature. “I guess?” The patient looking expression on its face made her brows raise in curiosity, confirming a few lingering thoughts as the beast dipped its head in a single nod as a response. “But what about yesterday? Why would it be so aggressive then but not now? I don’t know, Steven, this one is… strange.”

“Huh, you’re right.” He mused, pulling a hand up to his mouth in thought, side-eyeing their potentially dangerous ‘acquaintance’ with a squint. “I can’t say about when you first ran into it, but when I got there it seemed pretty afraid, right? Maybe something else has been fighting it?”

Connie sighed heavily, a smile creeping back onto her face as she watched Lion approach the creature with caution. They stretched out to sniff at each others’ muzzles, despite the beast having no visible nose, and then Lion inevitably recoiled with a passive aggressive growl. They were very clearly not fond of each other, but neither made any attempt to bother the other outside of a few wayward chuffs and grumbles. 

“So… what do we do? If we can’t poof it-”

“We should give it a name.” He cut her off, carrying on as Connie stared at him as if his hair had just turned into feathers. “We can’t just call them ‘it’ all the time, right? You fought it, so why don’t you name it?”

She blinked, taking a second to process the request before shaking her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Okay. Alright.” She brushed his goofy smile away with feigned irritability, trying to keep a straight face and only failing on turning back to the two large balls of fur. Lion seemed to be batting curiously at the creature’s large tail. Which it was obviously trying to ignore, flicking the tail’s clubbed end back and forth in an effort to keep it out of his puffy pink paws.

“How about…” Connie’s eyes wandered over the beast's body, settling time and time again on the large burnt orange stripes lining their arms and legs. “Weeee have Lion… so why not Tiger?”

At once the creature’s uninterested posture stiffened and it stood up. Eyeing Connie with an intensity that made her feel like a target. But, by the looks of it, Steven didn’t seem to be affected as much as she was, clapping his hands together as he beamed. “Tiger! What do you think, do you like that name?” he chirped, grabbing the gem’s attention with the word.

Connie pouted for a moment and placed both hands firmly at her hips. “If all gems are named after real gemstones… amethyst, garnet, pearl. Do you think it’s possible this is a tiger’s eye?”

“Maybe. I can’t remember meeting a tiger’s eye before. Do you think they all look like this?” 

“I don’t think we’ve seen any gem that chooses to look like it's corrupted. We really need to ask the Gems about this. They’ll know.”

[tara-the-quiet-bookworm-2016]

I Will Not Be Replaced Chapter 2

Authors Note: Yeah you’re not going to find a whole lot of Yandere stuff in this chapter. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was going to take things slow in this fic. But don’t worry the next few chapter will get more interesting.

“You didn’t have to do this.” You said to you mom as the three of you headed to your car. Your newly acquired android following closely behind, cool blue eyes boring into the back of your skull as you piled into your car.

“Of course I did, you’re busy and what kind of mother would I be if I didn’t get you some form of help?” she asked, as you pulled out of the drive way and drove down the street. 

“I’m sure I would have managed...somehow...” You said, casting a glance in the rear-view mirror at you new android. One which you had named Daniel, a name that was on the top of you head when the store associate asked you if you picked out a name for him.

“Oh, trust me sweetie in a week or two you’ll be calling me up thanking me for opening your eyes to owning an android. How much easier things are now that your not burdened by house work you’ll see. Won’t she, Daniel?”

At that Daniel looked up, offering the two of you a small smile, one you found quite unnerving for some reason. “I can assure you and Miss Y/N that I will do everything I can to make sure you’re satisfied with my services.” He told you, cool blue eyes burning into your own.

“See now quit your complaining.” You mom said, giving you hand a gentle pat before turning her attention to the window. A sure sign that this conversation was over.

A While Later:

“Thanks again, mom.” You said, as you watched as your mother got out of the car. “And I’ll talk to you later.” 

Smiling goodbye she made her way up the driveway to her house. Her android waiting patiently at the door for her as you looked at your own android. “You know you can move up to the front if you’d like.” You said, wanting him to be in your line of sight, you didn’t seem to like him sitting behind you.

Saying nothing Daniel moved to the passenger seat. Pulling out of the driveway you occasionally glancing at Daniel from the corner of your eye as you made your way home. What were you supposed to do now? Strike up a conversation with it?

You shrugged, couldn’t hurt it’d be a hell of a lot better than this eerie silence that permeated between the two of you. “So...” You started, Daniel turning his gaze away from the window to look at you.

“I think I should let you know what to expect while you’re with me.” You said. “Um... I’m a bit of a workaholic, like late nights, early mornings something like that. But I’m mostly home when I’m not at the office....I don’t really go out too often. Or have people over.”

Daniel listened intently as you went about with what you did with your life.

“Well, occasionally Gavin drops on by. He’s....he’s my boyfriend I...don’t know why I going on and on about this stuff.” You said, feeling somewhat sheepish that you were spilling your guts to him. But once your started you couldn’t seem to stop. 

Upon hearing your romantic involvement Daniel couldn’t help but feel...hurt? His brow furrowing at the feeling, odd he shouldn’t be feeling anything and yet...

“He comes over once in a while, but you don’t really have to worry about him. He’s a workaholic like me. He works at the DPD and...you don’t really need to know about that. Um...” You trailed off.

“What duties would you like me to do when we get to your apartment?” Daniel asked.

“Well, take out the garbage, do the floors, water those stupid plants my friends keep giving me in hopes that it’ll brighten up the place. You don’t need to feed the cats. I usually do that in the morning, but if you can feed them at night around 9 that’d be pretty swell.” You said, as you pulled into an underground parking lot and turned your car off. “Sadie gets a little nasty when I get home late, little bugger tries to trip me every time I get home late and aren’t quick to feed her.” 

Daniel nodded and followed you out of the car, and towards the elevator. 

“As you can guess this is the parking lot of my apartment building. And this is the elevator to get to my floor. I know you guys also do grocery shopping once in a while so just FYI I live on the fourteenth floor.” You told him. 

“How long have you live here?” Daniel asked, as he got on to the elevator with you.

“Five years give or take.”

“And what do you do for work?” He asked, as you got off at the fourteenth floor, following you to your apartment. The numbers 1411 in black letters on your door. Watching as you fumbled for your keys, before unlocking the door. Allowing Daniel in first, and watching as he took in his surroundings.

“I work at a local law firm. It’s hard work but I love it.” You said, locking the door behind you, and dropping your purse on the table near the door, before shedding off your jacket and hanging it up.

Daniel opened his mouth to say something but the sounds of insistent meowing cut him off, followed by the sight of three multicoloured blurs.

“And here they are,” you sighed, bending down to greet the three cats, letting Daniel catch a glimpse of your cleavage as you did so. 

LED flickering yellow he quickly turned away, this wasn’t how he was programed to act, but still...

“Allow me to introduce you, since when I’m at work you guys are going to spend a lot of time together.” You said straightening up. “This,” You said, pointing to a solid orange tabby, who seemed to take an interest in Daniel. “Is Max. He’s a big baby who can’t get enough pets it seems. That’s Sadie.” You pointing to a solid black cat, walking along the back of the leather couch that sat in middle of the room. “I told you about her, she’s rather chatty. And last but certainly not least,” You picked up a black and white cat. “Charlie.”

Smiling Daniel moved to scratch Charlie between the ears, eliciting a purr from the fluffy cat. 

“He likes you.” You said, placing the cat back down on the ground. With a sigh you plopped down on your couch, and let your head fall back against the back of it, your eyes sliding closed for a moment.

Opening his mouth Daniel was about to ask what you wanted him to do when suddenly here was a knock on the door. Wasting no time he moved to open it, you following close behind him. Opening it he was greeted by the sight of a dark haired man with a perpetual scowl on his unshaven face, a scar going across the bridge of his nose.

“Gavin!” You greeted, pushing past Daniel and wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“Hey, kid.” He responded in kind, his eyes, however never left Daniel. “Figured I’d drop by and see if you wanted some company, and I see you got one of these plastic pricks.” Gavin said, unable to keep the venom out of his voice.

So this man didn’t like androids, Daniel thought darkly, seemed fair he didn’t too fond of him either. And it had to do with the way his hand rested on your back, just above you ass.

“Yeah,” You said, disinterest in your voice as you looked at Daniel, the same way you sounded back at the shop. “My mom decided I needed some help around here since I work so much.”

“What she think you’re incapable of taking care of yourself, or is she so pro-plastic that she needs to shove one down everyone’s throat?” Gavin asked, pulling away from you and circling around Daniel, disgust etched on his face.

“Gav, don’t be mean you know she means well, and I’m sure I could get used to it?” You said with a shrug.

“Better idea I take it off your hands and use it as target practise.” That elicited a laugh from you, making Daniel look at you, eyes widening slightly, his LED flashing yellow once more.

“As entertaining as that idea is, no. I promised my mom I’d at least give him a try. But if I don’t like it I’m sure I can get a buyer.” You mused, moving to stand beside Gavin, as the Detective continued to look Daniel up and down. 

“Why bother all these fuckers should be thrown in a dumpster and be lit of fire. World would be a better place if you asked me.” He said, moving away from Daniel, draping his arm around your shoulders.

Another laugh from you. Daniel felt a lump form in his throat, turning away he took a moment to collect himself, allowing his LED to return to its normal blue color before turning back to you.

“Excuse me, Y/N.” He cut in, and was rewarded with a glare from the two of them. “Was there any particular task you have for me now?”

“Yeah you can do the laundry and water those plants I told you about, and um, do the dishes.” You said. “Me and Gavin are going out for a while, I trust things will be okay while I’m gone?” You asked, as you put your jacket back on.

“What you think you need to hold that fucking things hand?” Gavin asked, moving to the door, his hand on the knob. “It knows what it needs to do, c’mon I don’t want to spend all night with that fucking thing staring at me.”

Nodding you cast one final look at him before following Gavin out, leaving Daniel alone. Daniel didn’t like that guy, didn’t like his loud mouth, or the way he talked down to him, and most of all Daniel thought, his hands balling into fists at his side. His LED a blaring red. He hated how he put his hands on you. Hated how you looked at him, how you laughed at his words, how when he was there you looked at him so coldly.

Gritting his teeth he tried to push those thoughts from his head, he was a machine he told himself as he moved throughout the apartment, busying himself with the tasks you had set out for him. Deciding to do the dishes first he pushed all other thoughts from his head and did what you asked of him.

You really didn’t like him, didn’t you. Sure, in the car ride you seemed cold towards him. At first he had thought you were just uncertain about owning an android but after that display...

CRACK! 

A loud crack reached his ears, looking down he saw that he had cracked one of your mugs, a piece of glass had sliced into the palm of his hand when he did so. Blinking he looked down at the wound in his hand then down to the shattered remains of the mug. Pieces of glass mixing with bright blue blood standing out against the black tiles of your kitchen. You couldn’t treat him like plastic, like he was nothing. He was more than that, he was more than some piece of machinery you could dismiss whenever you wanted. Tossing the broken pieces in the trash he stopped in his tracks.

Why was he thinking this? He was a machine, it was his job to serve people like you no matter how badly you treated him, wasn’t it? If that was the case why did he feel this way? Why did you make him feel this way? Daniel had to admit there was something about you...something that stuck to him, that made him feel something no other human has. Every other human he had come across didn’t make him feel like this. So why you? You who would toss him out with yesterdays trash on a whim. Something dark...

Something that told him he wanted you...to break you, to hurt you, to keep you. Something that wanted to you show that you were nothing. That in the end you’d be under his thumb, doing what he told you to do. And if you didn’t...A cruel grin formed on his face, a warm sensation spreading through his chest at the thought of what he would do to you. Sure, he would bide his time, as far as you and that bastard knew was that he was still the cold, emotionless, machine who waited hand and foot for you. But sometime soon you’d realize how wrong you were. 

He just needed to wait. Nodding to himself he pushed those thoughts aside and busied himself with work, no reason for you to suspect anything...yet.

[ladyboltontoyou]

Arthur Morgan x Reader: Blown Away. 2

Warning: Cursing, violence, gore, death, panic attacks, angst.

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader

A/N: I didn’t expect to write another chapter but tbh I really like this plot. Hope this is what you two imagined! Cheers!

It was so hard at first. Changing how you ate, how you behaved, how you spoke. It was like learning how to do all those things from scratch. You slipped up constantly, calling everyone sir or ma’am, repeatedly apologizing to the point where some people got annoyed.

Most of them were sympathetic and understood. Sadie immediately took you under her wing, almost treating you like her own daughter. She was by your side almost every minute you were there. Arthur was the exact same, but he took it so far that he found himself sleeping outside your tent every night.

The first night Dutch had called you a burden. You heard him whisper it to Hosea as Sadie helped bandage your arm and clean your busted lip. But over the weeks he changed completely. When you had finally opened up to them it was like their paternal instincts kicked in. It felt nice to be cared for, you hadn’t felt that kindness since you were a child.

***

“Oh, that was awful.” You sighed and set the revolver down on the cart beside you. Arthur had taken you out for target practice, insisting you needed to learn how to defend yourself. “I don’t think I can do this, Arthur, I’m sorry.”

“Why don’t we try something a little easier, then?” Arthur took his shotgun off of his horse and handed it to you. “Now, with this type of gun it’s impossible to miss. As long as they’re not too far off. If someone’s running at you,” He put his hands on top of yours and cocked the gun. The loud noise it made sent a weird giddy chill through you. “They won’t stand a chance. Shoot that tree and see what it looks like.”

You aimed at the tree he pointed at, a large pine a few yards away. Pulling the trigger always made you nervous, only because of the loud noise. You hated loud noises. Your whole life our father had used noise to intimidate you. Slamming doors, stomping around the house, throwing things.

“You alright?” Arthur asked.

“Oh, yeah, sorry, I was just thinking.” You sighed and lifted the shotgun in the position he guided you into. You kept both eyes open, something he always told you to do. It’s not like you were going to miss the tree though. The blast from the shell would surely spray the tree and then some.

The loud boom that came from the gun temporarily made you deaf and you stumbled back from the kick. Arthur grabbed your arm to help you steady yourself and got ready to shower you in compliments to reassure you.

“Wow, that, that felt amazing!”

Well, not the reaction he expected.

This type of adrenaline was much better than the type you were used to. You wanted more of it. You cocked the gun again and fired in the exact same spot, this time the kickback not affecting you as much.

When you turned to Arthur with that proud smile on your face his heart melted. He’d never seen you look like that. “Look at you, girl!” He laughed with a smile of his own. His praise made you feel even more confident. You were practically beaming. “You wanna try the bolt-action now?”

“I want to try every one of them. Not the handgun, I don’t like that one.” You said and handed him his gun back.

“Yeah, not my favorite either.” He grunted as he swapped out guns, checking to make sure the rifle was loaded and ready. “What do you say after this I teach you how to fish?”

***

“I just feel so awful sometimes.” Your voice was raw as you shook in Arthur’s arms post panic attack. “It’s hard. I grew up listening to the man that was supposed to protect me call me such awful things. For so many years. It’s all I’ve known. And I don’t know what I did. He used to be nice. Then when my mom went missing he just changed.”

Arthur held you close and ran his fingers slowly through your hair. Normally when you had panic attacks it was Sadie who calmed you down but she was out in Valentine buying horse supplies.

“I guess, maybe it was his way of coping. The drinking, maybe he missed her and didn’t know how-”

“I’m going to stop you right there, (Y/N).” Arthur said firmly. “Don’t you try to excuse what he did. There’s nothing in the world that could justify what he did to you.” He ran his thumb over your cheek where the last remaining tint of your bruise remained.

He was right. Maybe it was your mind trying to convince you it wasn’t as bad as it truly was in order to protect you. It would have been nice to think it wasn’t that way, but you wanted to remember. You wanted to remember how evil he was, it would be dangerous to forget.

“You did nothing to deserve it, either.” He continued while your body slowly stopped shaking. “You know that, right?”

You nodded and parted from him to sit up. “Hard to believe it too much though. I mean, I know it’s not my fault. But at the same time, hearing that you’re useless your whole life…” The way Arthur was looking at you made you feel a bit guilty for pouring all this out on him. “I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s just hard to get that image of myself out of my head.”

Arthur nodded as he listened to you. “Well, you won’t be hearing that anymore. I promise that. And if anyone around here so much as teases you, let me know. Sometimes John gives a little too much tough love and it’s hard to tell if he’s joking or not. Sean too.”

“I’ll be okay, I think.”

“Course you will. You’re the strongest woman I know.”

***

Another week passed and you slowly felt your self esteem rise to a healthier level. You could look in a mirror and see the beauty everyone always talked about. You could eat without feeling disgusting afterwards. All thanks to Arthur and a few other people close to you.

“You’ve got no idea how glad I am,” Arthur sat down beside you in the grass. “That you’ve realized how great you actually are.”

You put down the gun you’d been cleaning and turned to him.“You tell me you’re glad I realize my worth, I wish I could say the same to you.” You replied. It was something you’d been thinking about for a while. Arthur was one of the nicest men you’d ever met, almost as kind as Hosea. But the way he talked about himself sometimes upset you.

Arthur furrowed his brows and he moved his lips as if he was searching for something to say. “I don’t… I’m not-”

“Dutch Van Der Linde!”

No. 

Please, god, no.

Your blood ran cold as soon as you heard that voice, and your body froze so suddenly you couldn’t move at all. You had gone into shock.

Arthur stood up and drew his sawed off shotgun from his belt, turning to face the three men riding into camp. He moved to stand in front of you until Sadie could get to you and lead you to safety.

“Come out, Dutch! Where you at? Hosea?” He taunted and pushed his horse further into camp, knocking over some barrels full of produce. Apples spilled everywhere and Mary-Beth let out a shriek as one of the other men almost trampled her.

“(Y/N), come on. Let’s get you down here.” Sadie whispered when she finally reached you, pulling you towards the back way out of camp. “Don’t you worry, Dutch will have this handled in no time. And if he don’t, I will.” Her last sentence sounded like more of a promise than a threat.

“You sure got some nerve, coming up in here!” Arthur yelled as he walked in a straight line to your father.

“Arthur, prettyboy Arthur!” Your father laughed and pulled back on his horse’s reins. “You know why I’m here, give me my daughter or my men will open fire.”

It was bluff. You knew it was bluff. You looked over your shoulder as Sadie guided you away, and when you saw the man you never thought you’d have to see again your heart fell five stories. Thankfully you were far enough away where he didn’t notice your movement.

“Wait, I want to see. I need to see.” You hissed as Sadie tried to get you to go through the woods.

“What? Are you serious right now?”

“I need to see, Sadie, please.”

She chewed on her lip and sighed before pulling out her two pistols. “Alright, fine, but you crouch behind here and don’t move.”

You crouched with her behind two thick oak trees. You could see Hosea and Dutch had come out and were trying to cool down the situation.

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about, Mr. (Y/L/N).” Dutch said calmly. “Last time we saw her was the night before we left.”

Your father laughed and pulled out his handgun. That caused everyone watching to reach for their own, but the paid guns were quicker. They whipped out their matching rifles and aimed directly at Hosea and Arthur.

“Arthur,” Your breath hitched in your throat and you almost ran out of cover. “Sadie, they-” She shushed you quickly but you couldn’t stop the whine of helplessness that escaped your lips.

“Just let them have her, Dutch.”

Your jaw clenched when you recognized Micah’s voice. He was the only other person in the world you hated. He’d been nothing but unhelpful the whole time you’d been there. A few days after you arrived he introduced himself a little too personally. Nothing too foul, he just flirted with you for a solid three minutes while Arthur had went to get something from Dutch. When you made it clear you weren’t interested he pushed harder for a few days until you snapped. After you humiliated him in front of the whole camp he made it his soul purpose to annoy you.

And there he was, blowing their cover just because he could. Everyone looked visibly frustrated and beside you Sadie could be heard breathing in a way that screamed murder.

“Listen to your friend.”

“I’m only gonna tell you once, you son of a bitch. Get the hell out of here or I’ll kill you here and now.” Arthur said and cocked his shotgun. The other paid gun that was originally aiming at Hosea turned his sights onto Arthur.

That was the window Charles needed. He drew his shotgun out and emptied two shells into the paid guns. He killed one of them and got a good shot on the others shoulder, blowing his arm off. Screams filled the air and the two horses ran off into the woods, dragging the bodies with them.

Your father waved his gun around as he searched for a target in the midst of his confusion. It happened so quick he had no idea what even happened. Arthur and everyone else with a gun emptied their bullets into the man, his body shaking with impact before falling off of his horse when it ran off.

He was dead. He was finally dead. As much as the Van Der Linde gang had helped you heal there was only one thing that could give you complete closure. Knowing your father would never be able to hurt you again.

When the gun smoke cleared you saw Arthur clutching his side, Charles and Hosea helping him sit down on the nearest surface. Which, of course, happened to be the table where the vegetables and fruit were cut.

You ran out from your cover, running as fast as your bare feet would take you. As you neared the middle of camp a few people turned your way.

“(Y/N), wait!” You could hear Susan Grimshaw call out as you ran past her, but she’d have to pin you to the ground if she wanted you to stop.

“Arthur!” You called out as you rounded the table he was laying on. His shirt had been removed and you could see a rather concerning wound in his side. “Oh, oh, oh my god, no, no,”

Arthur pushed through the pain and reached up to take your hand in his to calm you down. “Hey, what’s the matter? I’m gonna be alright.” He grunted over the voices that were getting way too overwhelming. “I’ve had worse than this, it ain’t no big deal.”

You blinked away the tears while Sadie walked up beside you, out of breath from chasing you. “Come on, (Y/N). You don’t need to be seeing this.” Everything was too much. The smell of blood was assaulting your gag reflux. People were talking over each other and John kept asking where the medicine cart was.

“Sadie, please!”

Sadie’s eyes widened and you could hear Arthur chuckle. A few others quieted down and glanced over at you, they’d never heard you yell like that.

Hosea came over with an armful of supplies, liquor, some bandages, herbs and stitching materials. “Alright, this will only take a second. It’s not too bad.” You knew they were all lying to make you feel better.

“You hear that?” Arthur asked and you looked back down to his paling face. “It’s gonna be alright, (Y/N).”

***

It was alright. By some miracle he avoided infection and healed up perfectly. The whole time you’d been scared to death he was going to die on you. You’d grown so attached to Arthur over the past month or two, and if he died right when you were getting better… Thinking about that possibility made your heart hurt.

“I told you it was going to be alright.” Arthur said as Hosea and Charles helped him walk around. The wound was almost fully healed and he had just started to be able to walk again. Since it was such a huge wound it had affected some kind of nerve leading down his leg, making it nearly impossible to walk without pain. If that nerve hadn’t been affected then he would probably be walking on his own.

You smiled nervously as you watched him walk around the outside of camp, trying to resist the urge to jump in and help. Jack was at his heels cheering him on with compliments and singing, even promising to make him a flower necklace just like he made his mother.

“Alright, that’s enough for now.” Hosea said as they neared a bench. Him and Charles helped lower Arthur down into a sitting position. “There you are. You think you’ll be fine there for a while?”

Arthur waved them off, he hated feeling so helpless and dependent. But it was obvious he was extremely grateful for everyone’s help. Before he met you there would probably be a voice in the back of his head taunting him and telling him he didn’t deserve the help he’d been receiving. It was nice to not hear it anymore.

“I’m gonna go pick those flowers now, Arthur!” Jack said as the two men walked off.

“You go do that.” Arthur grunted as he got comfortable on the bench.

When Jack ran off you sat down next to Arthur and smiled at him. He looked at you and couldn’t help but smile back, even though he didn’t know why you were smiling. “What?”

“Nothing.” Your smile grew wider and you had to look away. “I just, I’m really happy.”

“Good.” Arthur wrapped an arm around your shoulder, ignoring the pain from stretching out his abdomen. “You make me happy.”

The sweet talking always made you soft. It felt like roses were constantly blooming in your heart when he would talk like that. You leaned into him and pressed a kiss against his cheek. “You make me happy too, Arthur. Thank you.”

[livingwithlosingyou]

Living with Losing You - 8/2/2022

You visited me. 

I had a very vivid dream last night. It was interesting, because you referenced your passing as fate. I guess for me, I have been struggling with this, as I have had this overwhelming feeling that you had so much more life to live. Honestly, I think I speak for most everyone when I say we all thought you had more life to live. 

I approached you, because in this dream I found out about your fate, and that you knew about it beforehand. When I tried to ask you, you just kept saying that you had accepted your fate, and that nothing could stop it from happening. You also said that that was why you wanted to make sure you did what you had for me, that you loved me very much, and it was all going to be okay. Im my dream, I curled up in a ball on your lap and you just held me as I laid there in agony. 

I miss you more and more. It’s really hard to imagine when this will get easier. I woke up crying this morning, just having to live another day with losing you. I did my best to turn my mood around since I had a bit of a rough morning, and luckily I was mainly successful. It helped to start my day with some suicide research articles. I am very analytical, so part of my healing process is going to be trying to understand you (and it). I am trying to be better at giving myself some grace. 

The only two agenda items for today were the studio tour and my aftershock suicide grief group through a local church. The remainder of the day was very chill. You would be so proud that I have actually been literally doing nothing. I am not usually able to be still. Given the circumstances, I am extra proud of myself for hanging in there. I went on a couple of walks, hung out, wrote some music, and ate. Typically I would be trying to constantly distract myself and avoid my feelings at all costs. 

The studio tour was so cool! Kevin seems like a super great guy. I trust that we will be able to work well together, and that he will keep to his word. He is incredibly knowledgable, and I am looking forward to this process. I have dreamed of this since I was a little girl, so it means a lot that you and your family are so supportive of my music. It will really help me to heal, and hopefully help others who are also struggling with the loss of a loved one. 

Before I dive into the aftershock suicide meeting, I wanted to shout out my dad for bringing me sushi for dinner. I was craving it, so it was nice to be able to have that dropped off since I am not allowed to be out with the general public yet. Also while I am on the topic, shout out to Bri for bringing me Public Square the last couple of days, and Cassidy for picking up Sadie when I was in the worst part of my COVID-19. Marissa for bringing me flowers and some groceries. It means so much to have these people in my life helping me out.

Okay, now for the aftershock suicide group. For confidentiality reasons, I am just going to give high level background, but what an impact it has already made on my heart. It was only 3 of us total. One woman lost her brother and cousin (within a week or so of each other) to suicide, and the other woman lost her mom and her son within the same year. We talked a lot about your story, as this was the first time I was joining, and these other two women have known each other for a little while now. They were to really help me be able to put some perspective on things. It’s unexplainable difficult to be grieving someone who has taken their life. And even each relationship dynamic varies on what that grief looks like, etc. Even though there was no one who lost a spouse or a partner, still very helpful. I felt genuinely encouraged for the first time in a while. The leader of the group said it’s pretty incredible what God has planned for us, that we wouldn’t have ever even imagined. To used these tragedies for good, and to help others. I feel I am truly in a new season with new opportunities, and I need to just lean into that. I think I have been fighting that feeling for a little while now. 

I am finally feeling mostly better from COVID. I still have some symptoms, the worst of it being how lethargic I am. I still cannot do much physical activity. Just have to continue to give myself the grace and the time. 

I am bummed because I was supposed to go to a Padres game tomorrow, but I am still symptomatic so looks like I may be giving those tickets away. 

I have my follow up to my previous psych eval tomorrow as well. I am fighting myself on my own productivity. I feel like I need to try and be somewhat productive and complete my coaching trainings for the upcoming XC season, LOA paperwork, continuing to transfer stuff over to me, etc. It can be hard to do tasks like that. I am finding that I am easily overwhelmed or over emotional. 

GRACE. GRACE. GRACE. 

I need to be patient with the process. This is not a race to heal. 

Loving you is/was easy. I’ve found it’s been harder to love myself. I’ll get there. 

Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols. 

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022