#samus eagan

[novapark]

“So how do I look?” Inika asked as she shifted back and forth in front of the mirror. 

“Good but shouldn’t you be wearing something more.. I don’t know relaxed?” Her stepsister asked, “You still have a lot of unpacking to do.” 

She was right of course, hell the only reason Sam was over was to give her a hand so she’s have help wrapping up this rush job of a move. Unfortunately though they hadn’t made much progress because Nika had other things on her mind. 

“Yeah.. but Lolly comes home in a couple hours and I want to look nice for my baby.” She shrugged as she continued to focus forward on what was probably the fifth or sixth outfit she had tried on. 

“Ugh.” Samus groaned in response. 

“What was that for?”  

“This outfit is so not for your baby.. I don’t know why you’re bothering to try and catch his eye. We both know you’ll just end up disappointed.” Her sister sighed, “He didn’t even look at you like that when he picked her up.” 

“He was distracted. In a rush to get back home because of the incoming weather.” Nika contested. 

In fact Olin was bringing Oleander home a day late because of that too. He wanted to see if more of the snow would melt before heading back down. The mountain passes could get quite narrow and icey when the weather was right. 

“Or he’s just not interested Nika.” Sam pointed out firmly, “I know you’ve spent the last few years focused on getting your life together -”

“And so has he.” Inika replied defensively, “Seems like a good time to reconnect to me. We’re more mature now, we have a daughter...” 

"A daughter you kept from him for four years. I think you’re overestimating how easy it’ll be for him to get over that. Olin can be too forgiving sometimes but once you cross a line with him you might as well be invisible.” 

[novapark]

“Hey sorry I’m a little early.” I apologized as Nika let me in the house. 

“No worries.” She shrugged, “Kind of a trip, hard to say how long it would take.” 

“Yeah....” I agreed as I quickly noticed we were not alone, “So did I interrupt a family reunion or something?” 

“Sort of, they live around the corner. My sisters just wanted to say goodbye to Lollies before she left.” Inika explained. 

“Oh, that makes sense.” I said as nervously I waved to the other two women. “Hey Sam, AG.”

“Heya Ollie.” Samus replied. I shouldn’t have been so surprised they were there but it did make me feel a little uncomfortable. 

“Glad they are here for her.” I laughed, “For a split second there I thought it might be another fucking ambush.” 

“Do you really think I would do that?” Nika asked, clearly miffed at the lack of trust I had for her. 

“Well as they say what has happened before...” 

I couldn’t help but tease. It’s like she forgot she dropped the fact that I had a child on my lap only a couple of months ago. 

[novapark]

[novapark]

“Bullshit you started.” Sam growled as she crossed her arms. 

“Maybe I did but it wasn’t what I had intended.” Xoui snipped back without much thought, “You really think this shit is ideal? Hell she only told him now because she’s fucking stressed and the kid is already showing tendencies toward his dark moods. She shouldn’t have been born, she’s just going to be a miserable person just like him.” 

“I’m sorry but what did you just say?” My time patiently observing this nonsense had come to an end. I thought I was done dealing with this kind of bullshit when I got out of my mom’s house but apparently I didn’t exorcize enough people from my life. 

“I.. I didn’t mean -” She quickly began to backtrack. 

“You didn’t mean what?! That my life isn’t worth living because I’m a fucking sad and pathetic person?”

“No I… it’s just you know how you get sometimes I just thought it would be better -”

“You thought it would be better that my daughter also shouldn’t exist? Because she might be like me?”  I asked angrily, now letting the floodgate run free. It was one thing to shit on me but to bring my child into this was another thing entirely.

“That’s not what I -”

“It’s what you fucking said though.” Now I was shouting, no doubt the whole bar could hear what was going down,  “Really puts some shit in perspective. No wonder you broke up with me, just couldn’t take that shit anymore huh? There was no making me happy. no matter what you did I’d just be a miserable fucking prick who doesn’t respect all the effort everyone puts in for him.” 

“Olin please it’s not like that…” Xoui begged, with all sense of confidence washed away from her voice. 

“No it is like that and you fucking know it.” I replied flatly, “I told you to leave me alone but you didn’t listen and now I regret even knowing you. Stay the fuck away from me. Don’t talk to me, don’t smile at me if you see me, just walk the other fucking way. There is no friendship here, there is no future of any kind for us.” 

[novapark]

My relationship with my dad was a mixed bag. I didn’t mind him. He wasn’t malicious or anything. He just wasn’t all there. He’d always preferred a good time with the guys over the chaos of our home life. That was mom’s domain and as long as she was happy, he was happy. He was that kind of dad and if I could help it, I wanted to be nothing like that. I wanted to actually know my kid. 

Ollie: “Hey Sam, did you get my text? I’m really sorry for any trouble.” 

Samus: “It’s no problem man. I don’t mind at all. Shit happens. Besides I owe you one…. You know for how things went down the other night? Sorry again... Umm.. anyway, I talked to Nika and we thought maybe you’d want to have Lolly for Christmas? Like two or three days maybe?” 

Ollie: “Of course I would.” 

Samus: “Great, we’ll figure out where to meet up and text you the details.” 

[novapark]

Really a terrible night for a show at a venue like this. A warm sunny day had melted the snow away but brought with it evening storms. Not exactly what you want for a slightly exposed stage in front of open patio seating. Hell it was about enough to keep me away but a fucking promise is a promise and if I was honest I did get a wave of nostalgia hearing Sam sing again. Sometimes it felt like it’d been too long since I played with people I actually liked performing with.

[novapark]

This night ain't for the faint of heart For the faint of heart, for the faint of heart This night ain't for the faint of heart 'Cause the faint of heart gonna fall apart

[novapark]

And the earth looked at me and said "wasn't that fun?" And I replied "I'm sorry if I hurt anyone." And without even thinking cast me into space But before she did that she wiped off my own face She said better luck next time don't worry so much Without ears I couldn't hear I could just feel the touch As I fell asleep softly at the edge of a cave But I should have gone deeper but I'm not so brave

[novapark]

You can go your own way Go your own way You can call it Another lonely day You can go your own way Go your own way

[novapark]

“So how’s the family Sammy?” Our lunch had been surprisingly quiet. I could tell Sam had something on her mind but was so far keeping it to herself. Being Estra’s cousin we had known each other all our lives but since Sam’s parents weren’t together she spent a lot of time caught between her families. 

“You know you can ask about her if you want to Olin.” My stomach turned. I wasn’t going to. I had no right to but after five years sometimes I still wanted to know. 

“Alright then.. how is she, how is Nika?” I asked, a lump forming in my throat as I spoke her name. It had been a long time since I said it out loud.  

“She’s doing good.” Sam replied nervously, “Just started law school a few weeks ago.”

“That’s.. wow.” A surprise, Inika could argue with the best of them but always had other ideas for her future than that. Her mom though was always telling her she could do better than those dreams and should be working for her stepfather, Sam’s dad, a Senator. Her mother never liked me of course and I never gave her a reason to either. “Guess she caved into that pressure from her mom?”

“Well she has a kid now,” Sammy replied, slightly more at ease, her eyes fixed on mine. “That shit changes your life.”

“Yeah, I bet it would.” I said as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Why did I feel I needed to know all this? Just like Xoui had been before her, Nika was too good for me then and it seemed even better off now. 

[novapark]

“Thanks for lunch Sam.” I said as we walked out of the diner. We had finished the rest of lunch in a relative silence since I was lost in thoughts of my inadequacy.

“No problem! I’m always down for greasy ass food” Samus grinned, “Hey maybe next time we can jam together?” 

“Fuck yeah, in fact if you want to come over I think I have an extra -” I began, knowing my brother had left a bass guitar at home but the squeal of a small child interrupted the flow of our conversation. 

“Simmy!!” The small one yelled, her bright golden locks bounced against her shoulders as she scurried toward us. 

“Umm.. Sam, who is that?” I froze, the child’s appearance was more than a little uncanny. In fact she was practically a clone... 

“Uhh.. so that’s my niece…” Samus stuttered out. It was clear to me now that this was what she had been nervous about. 

“Simmy! Simmy! Saw da fisis today! Dere was wiver an da fisis were in da wiver an dey were simmin! An it was goot!” The little girl chattered away happily without any care for the tension between the two adults in front of her. 

As the kid finished her rambles I took a deep breath and looked up past her. The view was what I expected. There she was, standing stiffly, staring intently as she gauged my reaction.   

Fuck, she’s mine. I thought to myself, the kid is mine. 

[novapark]

Dave didn’t keep me forever but it felt longer than it should have. 

“Havin a shit day there Ollie?” Sam asked in her usual monotone. Now that face was a far more welcome addition to my day.  

“You could say that.” I mumbled.

“Well you were in a church. I can feel my fucking skin burning just standing here.” Samus sneered slightly, “Wanna get some lunch?” 

“Supposed to go home for family dinner but really not in the mood.” I admitted, though I knew my mother would be even more upset with me if I didn’t show up. “Might as well add salt to that wound.” 

“God damn man, you really are a mess.” She replied with a soft laugh, and really she wasn’t wrong. 

[novapark]

[novapark]

The youngest three are probably my favorite right now. I’m gonna go with Estra but since they are the same age and the Yager family is very tight I’m making these three best friends before I move Sam and Esther out. 

[novapark]

Got a little carried away dragging out some of the other kids in Yager generation 4. No idea who I feel like playing with now. 

[novapark]

Hmm well this save is only sorta fucked.  I think about where I was going with this story every time I open ts4.