#sasuke's like am not doing this if am not holding niisan >:(

[altraes]

🌱.

[queentargary3n]

tournament for Sakura’s hand

Sasusaku Fanfic - Cracked Canon  FF.net

I

It was during the spring of her 20th year, that Sakura received the news she didn’t know she’d been dreading. Her best friend and rival getting married. Upon hearing the words come out of the blonde girl’s lips, she felt herself choke on her sip of tea.

“I’m sorry Ino, what did you say again?” She asked once she composed herself, to make sure she’d heard her correctly.

“Sai and I are getting married, soon too, we want to do it in two weeks!” Ino responded.

Ino Yamanaka had invited her two best friends to afternoon tea to be able to announce her upcoming nuptials. “It’s going to be a western style wedding, much to my mother’s discontent, even so, I need you to two to be my bridesmaids!”

Hinata looked over at her pink headed friend with concern, she wasn’t sure how the news would be affecting her, now being the only girl of their generation to be single... she knew just how heartbreaking it was to wait for one’s feelings to be reciprocated. She held her friend’s hand gently underneath the table for support. Sakura was glad to have a friend like Hinata, she was always so considerate. Sakura squeezed her hand in return and smiled.

“Of course, Ino pig, we would be honored” she told Ino, answering for the two of them.

“Alright, so you’ll need to organize a bachelorette party for me, and Hinata you need to tell Naruto to do one for Sai too! Does this Friday work for you?” Ino asked.

“Amm sure I think, but what’s the hurry?” Hinata questioned. Since her own wedding had taken approximately a year to be planned.

“Well, we just didn’t want to wait any longer”

“Consider it done Ino pig! I’m very happy for you and Sai, really” Sakura said, because whatever competition she and Ino had been in, she was her oldest and dearest friend. And she knew Sai really deserved to have a family of his own. “So, how did Sai finally pop the question?!” She continued, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at the blonde.

“Well... actually I asked him” Ino responded, scratching the side of her head nervously. “Sai was talking about the disadvantages of not having a proper surname, and I said, ‘how about Yamanaka?’ it took him a few hours and a couple of books to figure that one out, then we started planning, very simple”

“That sounds so like you two” Sakura giggled.

“I know right? Well, see you girls on Friday! I have a lot of work to do at the flower shop in preparation, don’t forget to surprise me!” Ino announced and took her leave, running towards her home and shop.

Friday night came sooner than they could have wanted, with Sakura and Hinata deciding to celebrate Ino’s bachelorette party in a simple civilian bar in the company every female ninja in the shinobi register.

“Girls, tonight we are getting drunk out of our minds!!!!” Ino announced to everyone at the bar. Pouring out peach sake and handing everyone their cups.

Sakura raised her bottle in toasting, and chug the remaining sake, promptly taking the cup Ino was offering.

“You might want to slow down, Sakura-Chan” Hinata told her with concern, looking down at the additional two bottles of sake Sakura had already killed.

“Why?!” The pinkette whined. “I’m celebrating you all married ladies! I’m so happy for you all”

“Aaam because we are just getting started, you don’t want to be out too soon right?” Hinata made up as an excuse.

“Actually, I do! And youuu sweet pretty Hinata, you need to catch up!!” Sakura said, already slurring her words, and holding a shot of sake to her black-haired friend. “You too Ino, drink up!!”

Not even two hours later, the three girls were completely intoxicated. Blushes spreading through her faces, tears, laughter and confessions running freely.

“Areee you feeling bad because I beat you to get married forehead?” Ino asked her friend in teasing, expecting a snarky comeback from his best friend as usual.

“Yeah...” Sakura responded instead. “I don’t want to end up and old maid” she complained.

“You won’t end up an old maid Sakura-Chan, what about Sasuke?” Hinata said, trying to make her friend feel better despite her drunkenness.

“Sasuke-kun” Sakura sighed. “I’ll always love Sasuke-kun but...  he doesn’t want me like that... and I really want... someone to hold and kiss and just... be” she hiccupped between words as she responded.

“I thought you were waiting for him Forehead; did you give up on him?” Ino whined sadly.

“No, I would never! I’ll always be there to support Sasuke-kun, but I want something too! I’ll be what Sasuke-kun wants me to be, I’ll be like... like... like Naruto”

“Not exactly like Naruto I hope” Ino giggled at the thought.

“Yes, exactly like him! A friend!!! He is married and he still has Sasuke-kun’s back and he loves him, and he even got a kiss out of it! I mean that’s not a bad thing to have” Sakura continued.

“Sakura-Chan are you sure?” Hinata said, because even when intoxicated, Hinata was always the most levelheaded.

“Yup!” Sakura said and raised her fist. “I’m ready to find someone!”

“But who?” Ino questioned.

“Neji-niisan is still available” Hinata offered. “He’s handsome, strong, reliable”

“Naah he’s too stiff for our Sakura here” Ino interjected. “She needs someone legendary, one of a kind, and powerful!”

“Neji is all that!” the Hyuga responded, defensive of her dear cousin. “And he is from a noble clan!”

“We’re not trying to replace one Sasuke for another Hinata, she needs someone to fight for her!”

“Do I get I say?...” Sakura started. This conversation was getting out of control.

“NO!” Ino yelled.

“Lee would’ve been perfect, if he hadn’t knocked up that civilian girl, or... are opposed to the idea of being a stepmother?”

“Ino!!” Both girls chastised.

“Okay okay! I have an idea, but it might be a little crazy and possibly illegal”

“What is it?!” Both of her friends asked in curiosity.

“I’ll tell you, but first we need to break into Lord Hokage’s office!”

And so, the three drunk girls found it was surprisingly easy to break into the Rokudaime’s office in the middle of the night. With Hinata keeping watch at the entrance and Sakura distracting the Anbu guards on the roof of the building Ino put herself to work.

“Is that the communication system between all hidden villages?” Hinata asked from the door, since her byakugan allowed her to see what Ino was doing.

“Yes, it is... I am almost done” Ino continued drafting a message and then hit send.

“Ino, what did you do?” Hinata asked. She didn’t know why she followed along with Ino’s plan. She thought breaking into the Hokage’s office was bad, but she never thought this would include the other villages.

“Nothing, I just send a flyer to all the Hidden villages, instructing them to post it everywhere” The blonde responded.

“Flyer for what?” Hinata asked.

“You’ll find out on March 28th” Ino said, looking at her with a mischievous smile on her face, that sent chills down Hinata’s back.

x

It was a particularly calm day for Sasuke, he was exploring the Hidden Stone Village, without a hurry. Iwagakure didn’t have much to offer in regards of sightseeing, but Sasuke was determined to at least spend a couple of weeks in this place, trying to find a hideout where Itachi spent some time during his time in the Akatsuki, and also to ask for the opportunity to train in the fabled Sanzu Plains, it was known that the site prevented those who entered from using jutsu, and the only way out was to find your “heart stone”, those who were able to, would finally be able to figure what their heart’s true desire, it definitely sounded like what Sasuke needed.

As he was walking towards the Tsuchikage tower, he noticed a colorful flyer taped to hundreds of different posts and windows. His curiosity got the best to him as he stopped to read one of them, it featured a beautiful photograph he���d never seen of none other than Sakura, his Sakura. His susanoo almost activated in anger as he read the contents:

x

Part II 

[xxlovendreamsxx]

yours, forevermore [5]

A/N: guess what @kuriquinn, this is still dedicated to you! ily girlie. 😘

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four

Sasuke visits Konoha’s burial grounds before the sun has even begun to rise that morning, tired of the constant tossing and turning in the bed of the Hokage suite. There had been no benefit to staying any longer, no rest or peace of mind to be found—so if sleep would not come, he was better off putting what time he had to good use.

(gods know he never has enough of it, these days.)

It had been too long since he last came to his family’s graves, anyway.

Sighing, Sasuke lightly touches his older brother’s headstone as he reaches the familiar site, closing his eyes. Miss you more than words can say, he thinks, as he always does. After a moment, he pulls away and kneels down at his parent’s graves, offering them both a singular flower; a white chrysanthemum for his father, and a white lily for his mother. He bows his head to offer a few silent prayers.

When he is done, Sasuke lets himself smile a little, soft, small, and somewhat sad. He shifts to sit down comfortably beside Itachi’s tombstone.

“I’m late, I know,” he says, breathing in the early morning air and setting his gaze on the orange-pinkish horizon. The sun is finally getting up. “Sorry, niisan. I guess I understand why you couldn’t always hold your promise.”

But he doesn’t go on, and he lets silence take over instead, watching as the sun continues to rise, starts to warm the air. Sasuke sighs, eyes dropping shut once more. A heaviness surrounds him, but it’s far from unpleasant, he finds. He lets himself believe that it’s because the spirits of his family have come, summoned by his stressed, frustrated heart to hold and support him in this too-complicated time.

Letting their comfort wash over, Sasuke feels the tension in him ease, dwindle. Gods, he wishes his mother would really be here. Wishes she could tell him what to do, what to say. He’s sure she would know.

(more than his father and brother would, anyway. he doubts either of them would be particularly more skilled in the matters of the heart—father had always been too busy trying to lead their clan to a better future, and itachi had always been too busy being the council’s tool of destruction.)

Pensive, Sasuke wonders what his family would say if they could see the situation he was in right now. Mother would probably bonk him over the head and call him a dense idiot, he muses with a smile. But then she’d also hug him, kiss his cheek, offer him some wise words of wisdom. The opposite of Father, whom of course, would disapprove entirely. And Itachi…

Itachi would undeniably march him to Sakura’s door, demand that he tell her everything—whatever the hour it was. There would be no excuses with him, no justifying how long it was taking to make things right. He would march him all the way to the hospital, to her parents’ house, or over the village borders, if he had to.

Itachi wouldn’t let him fuck this up anymore.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he hears someone say, then, causing him to stiffen rigidly.

Sasuke turns his head over his shoulder. His gaze narrows as he sees his old sensei carrying a small bouquet of flowers. “What are you doing here?”

Kakashi frowns. “It’s my father’s birthday. I think I’m allowed to visit his grave.”

“It’s early.”

“You’re not the only one who has trouble getting rest, Sasuke.”

Mulling his lips, Sasuke keeps his mouth shut, and turns back to the brightening sky ahead. He doesn’t have the energy to argue with his ex-teacher.

(because truth is, these days, it’s not so much that he has trouble sleeping—he just doesn’t seem to have the time. or maybe he just has trouble managing it.)

Behind him, Kakashi sighs. Sasuke hears him start walking towards him, and clenches his jaw. Can’t he just be alone?

“You should think about getting new guards.”

Sasuke blinks. “What?”

“Your ANBUs—the ones you’re obligated to have watch you around the clock. You should request for new ones—or at least find out which ones you can really trust.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

At this, Kakashi gives him a look. Sasuke doesn’t understand it, but it makes his heart sink with dread for a reason he can’t explain.

That is, until:

“I heard three of your ANBUs gossiping when I was heading out of my home earlier. Whispering to each other in the middle of the street how they were glad their shift was finally over because of the things that they had been awkwardly forced to witness in your office today.”

Sasuke tenses impossibly. Shit—he hadn’t even thought about that. Of course his guards would have to be bystanders to this whole damn mess. He feels the back of his neck heat up. Fucking hell.

(indeed, he is going to need new guards—ones that won’t breach the contracted rules of upholding privacy. he needs to find out who the culprits are.)

“Sasuke… you said this was going on because you hadn’t talked about it yet,” Kakashi goes on, then. He’s so quiet, so clearly deprecating, and it makes his blood boil. “How can you not have worked this out by now? It’s been five weeks—”

Angry from both the betrayal of his ANBUs and everyone’s persistent cursed nosiness, Sasuke cuts him off with a snarl. “And how many times do I have to say that it’s none of your fucking business? Stay out of it, Kakashi—this doesn’t concern you.”

Kakashi glares at him—something that catches Sasuke by surprise. He doesn’t usually lose his temper like this.

“It concerns me that you are tearing each other apart, Sasuke,” he says, his tone low but somehow still frighteningly chilling. “So stop being so goddamn stupid and talk to her already.”

And with that, he walks away, leaving Sasuke to swallow down any resentful retorts.

Sasuke digs his hands into the grass. It kills him to admit that though his ex-teacher is nosy and overstepping, he is also right.

No more screwing around.

.

.

“Ogino.”

“Yes, Hokage-sama?”

“Get me the names of the ANBUs who were on guard duty last night.”

“Right away, sir.”

.

.

He decides to let a week pass by before ultimately doing anything, allowing Sakura some space to cool off from their last encounter. Resolute as he is on finally repairing their complicated, splintered relationship, Sasuke doubts Sakura would like to hear anything he has to say when hours earlier, he’d thoughtlessly asked her to leave a job she loved.

(something that still makes him want to groan—it’s one of the dumbest things he’s ever done.)

But he doesn’t let that time go to waste; every day, he works tirelessly on filing papers and conducting meetings, eager to free his schedule to ensure he would have no pressing responsibilities holding him back. He sets himself on making a permanent change: he can’t take back what he’s done, but he can start making his own time for the people that he loves, and put an end to this toxic habit of sacrificing everything for a singular goal. Finding justice for his family is important, yes, but so is Sakura Haruno. He can find a balance, from now on. He can keep the village safe and happy, reform the system, bring respect to the Uchiha clan—and he can make a life with Sakura, be the good partner she deserves to have at her side.

And it all starts here, by finally granting himself the right not to comply to every request sent his way. And also, delegating.

“Hokage-sama?”

Eyes flickering up from the previously sealed mission report at his desk, Sasuke raises a brow when he sees his young, brown-haired second assistant peeking unsurely from his door.

(because yes, he had finally caved to hiring someone else, pride be damned. though almost annoyingly too meek, the woman really was unworldly good at her job—appointing her was the best decision he’d made all year.)

Sasuke gestures her inside. “What is it?”

“Um…” Looking down at the floor, she tucks a fallen lock of hair behind her ear, and Sasuke knows then that he isn’t going to like what she will say. “The council is waiting outside your office. They’re requesting a meeting now—”

“Fuck no,” Sasuke immediately replies, interrupting her as his eyes narrow. He huffs an irritated breath, and returns to the classified scroll at hand. “Send them away,” he says. “And tell them to call and schedule a meeting like everyone else. I have other plans today, and I aim to keep them.”

“B-But sir, I don’t think—”

“I don’t care, Uzume. They’re not the ones who have to bury themselves in work on a daily basis, nor are they the ones who make the final decisions around here. I am the Hokage—they are merely my advisors. They will work with my schedule. Tell them they will wait until a suitable time, or I will have them escorted out of this office.”

Wide-eyed, his assistant blushes—more out of nervousness than embarrassment, he suspects—and then nods jerkily. She gives him a quick, polite bow. “Ah—of course, Hokage-sama,” she stutters, quickly stepping towards the filing cabinet. She drops a massive pile of completed forms on top. “Um, please excuse me.”

Then she disappears from his office to deliver the news, seemingly uncomfortable. Sasuke thinks it’s probably because she fears disrespecting the elders.

He goes back to work, and ignores the ensuing muffled conversation behind the door.

(although, he will admit, he feels oddly pleased as the voices start to grow in volume, exclamations of irritation and contempt becoming more and more distinct. that will teach them.)

Sasuke only pauses again when someone tries to enter anyway; the door jiggles for half a moment before, judging by the light rustling and surrendering cries, the perpetrator is seemingly stopped.

“All right, all right!” a man snaps, sounding suspiciously like Homura. His tone is dripping with sharp irritation. “There is no need to get physical—we will take our leave without you. Uncultured brats… Come, Council, we will come back another time when our leader isn’t in such a foul mood.”

Try when you have an actual appointment, Sasuke thinks, rolling his eyes.

It’s a few minutes before his assistant comes back inside, looking rather stunned. Sasuke spares her only a flickering glance, still contemplating the report.

“The guards did their job, I take it?”

Uzume’s eyes are still wide. “Uh… yes, Hokage-sama.”

He gives her a small, pleased nod. “Make sure to let them know I want no more interruptions. I intend to leave in an hour.”

She nods, too, and bows again. “Okay—um, I mean, right away, Hokage-sama. I’ll… I’ll be back later to file those papers as well.”

Sasuke hums, and the sound of her clicking heels resound across his office. He stops his assistant only when he hears her click open the door. “Uzume.”

“Y-Yes?”

He nearly sighs. “Good work today.”

Her voice reveals an undeniable smile. “Thank you, Hokage-sama.”

No, it’s you I should thank, Sasuke thinks. For cutting down my work and giving me time to get my life together.

Today is the day.

.

.

An hour later, when he gathering his things, he sends his hawk Takauji with a scroll for Sakura.

Sakura,

Meet me at my apartment in two hours.

We need to see each other. It’s important.

I know you don’t have a shift at the hospital.

Sasuke

.

.

Sakura arrives at his door twenty minutes early, turning the grim expression on his face to one of genuine surprise; he expected her to be late, if anything. Sasuke’s mouth parts, but he closes it quickly, resting his towel on his shoulder. He’d just gotten out of the shower a short while ago.

“Hi,” she says, softly, looking strangely fragile despite still being so lovely. There is a weakness to her gaze that he doesn’t like.

His heart squeezes, and Sasuke swallows. They really are tearing each other apart like this, he muses. Sakura is so much stronger than that.

(but no longer—he will break her no longer.

…or soon, anyway.)

Exhaling a slow, quiet breath, Sasuke lets the tension in him leave. He gives Sakura a nod. “You’re early,” he says. “I didn’t expect you to be early.” There is no displeasure to his tone. Only relief.

Sakura blushes faintly. “I know,” she mumbles, as she looks down at her feet. She seems almost flustered—or even conflicted. Sasuke hasn’t seen her this insecure since she was a young teenager. He hates how much he’s making her pedal backwards. “I just…”

He doesn’t need to hear more. Stepping aside, Sasuke opens the door wider; a silent invitation. Looking up, Sakura blinks at him, swallows, then acquiesces to his offer.

He doesn’t expect her to push him back a few steps and kiss him as soon as she crosses the threshold, one hand tossing his towel away while the other fists his shirt, foot driving the door shut. Sasuke’s breath snags in his lungs, body growing tight. Half a moment later, he finds himself melting against her, utterly overtaken; he draws her close, kisses her back, curling his fingers into her clothes. Her kisses are both hot and wanton as they are sweet and full of yearning, and it makes his head spin.

But then Sakura tugs at his shirt, pulling at the hem like she needs it off, and Sasuke frowns. His thoughts come rushing back to him. No… no, he can’t let this happen again. Not before they talk things out, put everything out in the open—no matter how much she sends his whole body buzzing.

His hands close around her wrists.

“Sakura,” he whispers against her lips, trying to gently tug her away. He hates how much his body screams to get her back, needing her warmth, her closeness. “Sakura, stop. We can’t. This isn’t why I wanted you to come here.”

“It’s okay,” she says, breathless, pulling him close. She kisses him once more, reaching under his shirt to caress his skin. Sasuke tenses, a groan nearly slipping out of him. “It’s okay. I want this too, Sasuke-kun. There’s nothing wrong with this—”

“Sakura—”

“It’s all right.” One of her hands falls to his belly, tracing the faint ridges there. His mind is starting to fog again. Damnit. “Please, Sasuke-kun. I—I need this. You need this.”

“Sakura, this isn’t—”

“Shh,” she hushes, catching his mouth with hers and kissing him deeper. “We don’t need to talk about it. We can keep doing this. We don’t have to stop. Please.”

The hand on his stomach slides beneath the hem of his pants, so close to where he wants her. Sasuke almost chokes, feeling himself spiral. Sharply, he pulls back, deftly slipping away from her too-wonderful fingers. Breaths heavy and choppy, he swallows against his suddenly dry throat, body burning everywhere. Holy shit that was close.

Hurt splinters across Sakura’s face, a few seconds later. The sight keeps him anchored, reminds them why they’re here. Sasuke sighs quietly.

“We do need to talk, Sakura,” he murmurs. “Everything about this is fucked up. All those weeks ago, when we—” He pauses here, and mulls his lips. He looks down. He still doesn’t know how to explain that day. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. Things got out of hand. I never meant—”

A wounded noise cuts him off, and Sasuke flinches, eyes settling on Sakura again. He finds her face all scrunched up, mouth twisted as though she wants to cry. She curls a hand protectively over her chest.

“Stop. Please stop, Sasuke-kun,” she pleads, and her voice wavers, cracks. There are tears glimmering now. “I’m begging you—I can’t hear this. I can’t. My heart can’t take this.”

His throat grows tight. Gods, how he wishes he would stop making her cry. Wishes he would stop breaking her heart, wishes he could wrap his arms around her right now and kiss away all her pain. But he can’t. He really can’t. He needs to keep trying, to finally explain to her how he wants so much more than this—how he wants everything, and not just that warm space between her legs.

Sasuke touches her arm gently. “Sakura, listen…”

But Sakura doesn’t want to hear it.

“No!” she wails. She wrenches herself away so fast his heart skips a painful beat. “I’m done doing this with you, Sasuke-kun! I’m done getting pulled in every direction and getting my hopes up, only for you to tear them down! Done being the only one hurt every time you fleetingly grow some kind of conscience!” She’s trembling now, thick tears spilling down her angry cheeks as she seemingly struggles not to burst into loud, miserable sobs. “I’ve loved you for over ten years now, Sasuke-kun. Ten years. And I am tired of getting my heart broken because you can’t get yourself together…

“I don’t want to wait for the impossible anymore. I don’t want to keep hoping you might realize that you want me by your side, or that you might want a life with me. It hurts too much, Sasuke-kun. I’ve already let myself believe it once, when you kissed me all those years ago, but then—then you treated us like we were nothing and I—” A sob escapes her, then, soft and broken and unbearably hard to hear. It takes everything in Sasuke not to look away from her. “When you kissed me again all those weeks ago, I was the closest to you than I’ve been in years, Sasuke-kun… I felt like I finally mattered to you—like I knew I did, once. Even if it was just for this.” Her lower lip trembles. “But now you want to take even that away from me…”

Sakura trails out, and cries even harder, then, so hard she gasps in every breath. Sasuke’s jaw grows rigid at the sight; he doesn’t want to stand here and do nothing anymore.

So with an aching heart clenching so terribly, terribly with every beat, Sasuke cups the face of the woman he loves and gingerly wipes her tears away, careful. Sakura shakes her head with vehemence, pushing weakly at his chest to try and drive him away—but all in vain. She crumbles against his touch, defeated and helpless. She is just as starved for his love as he is for hers, he realizes with downturn of his mouth.

(it’s no wonder she doesn’t want him to take away what they have when she no longer thinks they will ever have anything more.)

Pressing his forehead to her own, Sasuke gathers all the tenderness he can find and kisses her slowly, sweetly, holding her soft, precious face in his hands. He brushes his thumb to her skin as she stills, breath hitching, more tears slipping down her cheeks. He smooths them off, and kisses her once more, just as gently, cradling her trembling body in a warm embrace. Half a sob tumbles from her lips, but she kisses him back, burying her fingers in his hair in desperation.

Maybe he can show her how he feels instead, Sasuke thinks, as he lets her take off his shirt and starts guiding her towards his bedroom. Maybe if he makes love to her with all the devotion and care in his heart, she’ll understand everything.

At least, this is what he tells himself as he lets them tug off each other clothes as they go, lips never parting even as they lightly bump and knock into walls and counters. This is what he tells himself as he kisses her, touches her, keeping himself loving and patient, determined not to let lust take over. Sakura whimpers and holds him closer, hiccupping breaths fading into moans and hot little gasps.

They’re both naked by the time they reach his bed, tumbling onto the soft mattress in the darkness of the room. Dazed, needing to see her, Sasuke reaches to turn on his bedside lamp, cursing when he inadvertently knocks their old team seven frame to the floor. The sound of Sakura laughing startles him, so much that when he turns back to look at her, he can’t help his mind from going back to that time all those weeks ago, where he’d been alone in bed and craving to have her at his side.

And now she was here; naked, smiling, and utterly beautiful, with her sweet, sweet green eyes gleaming at him so brightly. Sasuke’s mouth dries, and raw emotion wells up at him, so thickly he feels nothing short of overwhelmed. He cups her cheek and kisses her with aching gentleness, eyes slipping shut tight.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, earnest as he’s ever been.

He feels the smile drop from Sakura’s mouth, lips trembling against his. Sasuke swears he can feel the hurt flaring to life again in her heart, but he refuses to budge as she pushes at him to try and run away.

“Don’t, don’t—Sasuke-kun, don’t do this—”

She starts to cry again and pushes him harder, but Sasuke holds onto her tighter and grits his teeth, brushing his thumb to her cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Sakura—”

“Just let me leave,” she sobs, struggling against him. “Let me leave, let me leave, I can’t do this, just let me leave—”

“Damnit, Sakura, I love you!” Sasuke says, then, frustration getting to him as it comes out sounding sharp and much more forceful than he’d hoped.

(but he’d said it. at least he’d finally fucking said it.)

Sakura’s breath catches, and she stiffens beneath him. “W-What?”

Sasuke softens. “I love you. Sakura, I’ve always loved you. Since five years ago, since before even that. I never meant to hurt you the way that I did—I never meant to get so caught up in my goals that I never put you, or Naruto or Kakashi first. I threw away what we had without even realizing it because I was so focused on the responsibilities I had trying to get justice for my clan. And I wish I realized that sooner. I really fucking do. I wish I’d known how to solve everything, but I had no idea what to do. Especially not after we…” He swallows, and moves his hand to her jaw, then, stroking so devotedly. “Nothing about this has ever been just sex to me, Sakura. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I want more. I’ve always wanted more. I want… you.” All of you. By my side. So stay, please. Stay, and I’ll never make those mistakes again. I promise.

For a moment, Sakura says nothing; she merely keeps crying, unable to stop. Yet there is a lightness to her now, a missing heaviness to the way she wipes her tears and sniffles and hiccups, and it makes the tension in him melt away.

“Y-You love me?” she asks, eventually, her voice so feeble.

But Sasuke catches it, that certain hope and fullness that makes him want to smile. He pushes his forehead to her own, running his thump over her cheek. “I do,” he whispers.

Making some noise of relief, Sakura pulls him close and hugs him tight, burying her face in his neck. Closing his eyes, Sasuke breathes in her scent and pulls her closer, finally feeling relaxed and content—like he hasn’t been able to in much too long. His heart swells in his chest when Sakura runs her hands through his hair, whispering how much she loves him, how much she’s sorry she didn’t listen to him when he was trying to make things right. Brushing his lips to her brow, Sasuke pulls back and kisses her, kissing her again, and again, and again.

He makes love to her when she asks him to, a while later, and it’s slow, and good, and wonderful. Better than any of their times before. He feels full, complete, even moreso when he knows she does, too. There is nowhere else he wants to be—he would spend forever making love to her if he could. When Sakura gets close, she whispers to him to tell her again that he loves her, so he does, once, twice, and three times more. He kisses her when she comes soon after, holding him close and whimpering his name. Sasuke swears she’s never looked more beautiful.

They stay wrapped up in each other when they’re sated and spent, whispering conversation in the dim, moonlit room. Sasuke pulls the sheets over them when Sakura shivers a little from the cold, her giggle curling the edges of his mouth. She thanks him, and kisses him like they have all the time in the world, like there is nothing they can’t face together… and he supposes that as of tonight, that is probably true.

For the rest of his life, he will make time to kiss and love Sakura like she deserves, like she wants.

For the rest of his life, he will make sure she never doubts the place she holds in his heart.

Sleep takes them within minutes, and it’s the easiest he’s had in years.

.

.

Sakura comes to find him at lunch the next day, carrying her usual stack of paperwork and two bento boxes, along with the prettiest, happiest blush. Sasuke feels his eyes brighten in an instant, lips curling in the faintest smile. He doesn’t think twice about abandoning his work for the time being.

“Hello, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura says, tucking her files to her chest. Grinning, she shows off the bento boxes. “I thought you might want to have lunch with me. I know I left in a bit of a hurry this morning… since you know, early surgery and all.”

Sasuke hums. “Hmm. Thank you,” he says, and he takes the bento boxes from her hand to put them aside on his desk. He surprises even himself when he tugs her onto his lap, next, fighting back another smile at her slight yelp. The glow from yesterday clearly still has yet to fade.

Sasuke slides a hand to her hip. He peers inside one of the bento boxes. “Onigri?”

Sakura smiles sheepishly. “Yes… I didn’t have much time when I got home. But I made your favorite kind!”

As if to prove she isn’t lying, she grabs a ball and peels a layer of rice back, revealing the flaky okaka filling. Amused, Sasuke grabs the onigri from her hand and takes a bite, chewing carefully.

“It’s good,” he offers, and Sakura smiles wider. She eats the bits on her hands, and croons with much satisfaction, happy with the fruits of her labor.

Sasuke shakes his head and smiles. “I’ll grab my stuff and we can leave.”

Beaming, Sakura pushes herself off his lap, allowing him to do just that.

It is at the moment that he stands up, however, that Shikamaru strolls in, sporting his usual look of exasperation and mouth opened to say something. He stills and chooses to refrain himself when he catches sight of them both, something of a frown forming.

Sasuke knows then that Shikamaru dreads what he is about to say. He narrows his eyes.

“What?”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Shikamaru says. He points his thumb to the door. “But we have a meeting with the other Kages starting right now. It’s about the upcoming chunnin exams.”

Fuck. That’s right. Sasuke pinches the bridge of his nose. He forgot.

But as he exhales a sharp breath and goes to say that he’ll be there in a minute, his eyes briefly flicker to Sakura, sees her falter. That makes him stop.

(because this was how it all started, back then. brushing her aside time and time again, choosing to deal with matters that weren’t always that pressing, simply because he felt it was his duty.)

Sasuke’s gaze lightens, shoulders softening under the weight of yesterday’s memories. He knows what to do.

“Take Uzume with you and attend the meeting without me,” Sasuke says, taking off his Hokage robes and hanging them over his chair. He gives Sakura the ghost of a smile, and moves to rid her of her stack of files, sliding them onto his desk. “I’ll look over the notes tomorrow. I trust you’ll make the right decisions.”

The smile Sakura gives him in return is blinding, positively radiating with the brightest, most brilliant happiness. Sasuke feels his heart swell with pure, simple pride.

“You sure?”

Sasuke nods at his assistant. “I’m sure.” He picks up both bento boxes from his desk, and puts a hand at Sakura’s back to gently urge her forward. He spares her a tender glance. “I have lunch plans with Sakura.”

He’s learned his lesson.

.

.

.

End.

[fiction-queen-blog]

TheAmazingUchihaBruhs

Also read:  what happened previously 

The Wreck!  (Part 1)

“Alright”

I walked inside the living room, until I reached the coffee table.

“I want your total honest opinion. Is this good? Too much? Or too less?”

Izuna looked up from his phone and narrowed his eyes. He put his phone next to him and threw the magazines and books off the table.

“Go stand in some better lighting” he said, indicating to the table

I don’t think half a meter higher would have done much difference for the lighting, but I wasn’t complaining. I needed some fashion advice. That is how desperate I was.

I stood on top of the coffee table.

“Oh no, no, no…” I felt Itachi wrap his arms from behind me and lift me off the coffee table.

“You are not wearing that. You are just going to some dumbass’s party. You are not the star of a strip club”

“Dude, it is just some leg” Shisui defended my outfit.

“It is, October, it is cold. He will get sick-”  

“Liquor keeps him warm”  Shisui cut Itachi off as he flipped the page of his case file. He finally was forced to look up and meet the glaring look my overprotective aniki gave him.

“Come on! Normally we basically force him to socialize and now he is willingly going to a party. No wonder that kid is fucked up in his mind if we are constantly criticizing him” Shisui said, straightening his back.

“You read one psychology magazine. Calm the fuck down”  Itachi said.

While they were arguing. I returned my attention to Izuna.

“Well?”

“Itachi hates it, that means it is good. Just the right bit of sexy”  Izuna said and stood up, finishing his text before putting his phone in his back pocket.

“Shisui, could you drive us?” Izuna asked.

“What happened to that expensive driving licence of yours?” Shisui looked up from his files. He seemed sort of frustrated, probably because he couldn’t get any work done with us ...being so..annoying.

“I am not taking my car to some ghetto neighbourhood. Nah”

I had to admit...That was the most mature thing Izuna has said in a while.

“We can take a cab back. So, you don’t have to wait up” I suggested. Grabbing my gift from the table.

“You really got him a gift? He literally said..No gifts” Izuna mocked me as we walked out of the house to the car.

“It is me. Besides, I figured it was a bit inappropriate to give in front of his family”  

Izuna suddenly turned around and I bumped against him.

“What naughty thing do you have in there”

I never saw him look this proud.

“Something he will be wearing….all night” A little smirked appeared on my face when I sat down in the back seat. To be fair..I made a T-shirt...It was orange with big black letters there was written “Sasuke’s Bitch”. I figured it would be funny and besides...It was not wrong.

I had to admit, Naruto and I were in sort of a vague zone. It was like...We were beyond “just friends” and leaning towards the relationship part and this was my way of subtle  pushing it.

“I think it is quite something. You going to the place you hate just because he asked”

Izuna sighed as he sat down next to me. He ran his hand down his hair, fixing his bangs. It was then that he noticed my silence.

“He didn’t ask you...Did he?” Izuna narrowed his eyes.

“I expected to surprise him”  I said, looking outside of the window, seeing Shisui approach his car.  “Besides...He said he didn’t ask me because he didn’t want to force me. But I am here willingly”

“Has it ever occurred to you that the reason why he kept this a secret was because...He..Maybe..Didn’t want you there?”

Shit…Izuna got me there..

“Naruto? He is not mean” Shisui said, adjusting the rear-view mirror.

“Oh stop acting like he is a saint” Itachi sat down in the passenger seat.

“What the..” Izuna looked at Itachi, wondering why he was even coming.

“Stop it you. We are going grocery shopping after dropping you two off. Please..The entire world does not evolve around you”

Itachi made a sassy hand gesture and I saw Izuna look at me.

“But your world does around him?”

I think he meant me with the “him” part.

He leaned in and whispered something in Itachi’s ear.

“No, you wouldn’t dare!” Itachi hissed.

“Watch. Me” Izuna said in a devious voice before sitting back down. I wondered what that was all about, but judging from the look niisan was giving me...It was probably about me.

“Alright...Back to me. Why wouldn’t he want me there? We are pretty close”

“Oh so you told him about shooting that guy and mo-”

Itachi suddenly hissed in pain when Shisui hit his shoulder.

“Does Suké know you fall asleep in the kitchen while actually nibbling on food?” Shisui tried to defend me again.

“Ha, jokes on you, he walked in on that seven times. Don’t test my relationship” Itachi said, folding his arms.

“Yeah...But you still don’t have the spare key of his apartment” I said and I heard Izuna and Shisui laugh at my comment.

“Oh wait...But I..Your little brother..Actually do have his spare keys” I said, holding up my keychain. Itachi’s eyes widened as he tried to grab it, put my reflection were just a little faster.

“Back to me” I said, turning my head to Izuna.  

“If worse comes to worse. I just give him the present and go home”

“But when best comes to best..You two will spend the rest of the night in a locked bedroom” Izuna pretended to make a shocked face.

I tucked my hair behind my ear, looking out of the window.

“Yeah, I will make sure to close the window so nobody in the garden will hear us ” I commented before looking back at Izuna. Suddenly the car stopped and God thanks I had my seatbelt on, unlike Izuna who bumped against Itachi’s chair.

I frowned and looked at both Shisui and Itachi who both turned their heads towards me with a rather blank expression.

“Princess, why don’t we go to Chuck E. Cheese instead?” Shisui suddenly said in a high pitch voice before trying to maintain himself.

“We can still make him a monk” I heard Itachi whisper.

“Have you ever imagined him bold? He cannot be a monk” Shisui hissed.

“Guys, come on! Can we stop making this a big deal!” I said frustrated, “Like really!” I sat back, folding my arms. “Nothing is going to happen anyway”

‘Yeah because the guy who has quikies  in a bathroom stall is so classy”

Sarcasm was mostly hard to detect in Izuna’s voice...But this was obvious.

“Can you just shut up” I glared at him. “When he is with me.. He is different”

“What do you mean? It is not like you two are…” I looked through the mirror at Itachi who stopped talking. His eyes widened.

“Anyone but him” he shook his head, looking sort of disappointed. That look kinda hurt.

“He is a good kid” Shisui said out loud...Not sure if it was to clarify to himself or niisan.

“Listen, we will talk about this...Can we go now” I  said.

“That means he is never going to talk about this” Izuna fake-translated.  I threw my head back.

My family is insane.

Ooxoxox

Arriving at the party. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go in that house. It was a pretty big, but it was made from wood and it seemed...Well..Kinda dead. There was graffiti on the side and the garden looked like a desert.

“Where would he get this location?” I asked, looking next to me only to see that my brother literally disappeared.

“Izuna?!” I looked around me only to see a hint of his shoulder already enter the house. Wow, he was fast ditching me. It was almost like...He wanted to get away from me as fast as possible.

I shook my head. I didn’t want to ruin this party for Naruto. I just had to go in there with a positive mind...But damn was this music loud, and I am not even in the house yet.

Oh...Here I was going again with all the complaining.

“Come on…” I sighed, entering the house. It was so crowded. I wonder if everybody of the city was invited? It was pretty dark, except for the coloured festival lights.

Who thought they would provide enough light?

I was looking around me. I barely knew any of these people, not even anyone from high school. It actually made me wonder if he excluded them on purpose...Just like he did me?

Oh no, nevermind. I saw Kiba playing beer pong with Lee. But I wasn’t going to go over there. Mainly because I was looking for Naruto. Who...I couldn’t really find.

“Naruto?” I opened a door, not knowing it was a bedroom

“sorry!”  I immediately said when I caught a glimpse of two girls in the bed. I shut the door and wanted to walk away from there as fast as possible.

But being in a hurry in a house crowded with people was not such a good idea. I bumped against somebody. I could feel some liquor fall over my chest. I took a step back, looking at the beer stain. Well. .I don’t know shit about laundry, but I knew that was going to set.

“Oh fuck-”

I looked up at the guy holding the now half empty cup.

“-you’re hot” he finished his sentence. Now I wished the music was louder, so I didn’t have to hear some drunk-head hit on me.

“Way out of your league” I said pushing him away from me.

How annoying this guy might have been, in a way he did help me with my troubles. Because I headed the other way I actually found Naruto. Only...I wasn’t sure anymore if it was a good thing or a bad one.  He was sitting on the couch, holding a drink while some bitch is sitting right next to him. His legs stretched over Naruto’s, while on the other side was some chick with her arm around his.

I was thinking of what Izuna said about Naruto not wanting me to this party for personal reasons...What if those personal reasons were that he could probably bang anyone at his party?  

Maybe I was just being paranoid! He is just being friendly! That is typical Naruto! Social..Friendly...Nice..

It took me every molecule of bravery in my body to go towards him.

“Hey” I tried not to shout, but it was kinda hard to get his attention..Even Though I was standing right in front of him.

“Naruto!” I had to shout...It was either that or hitting him and I figured I had done enough damage already.  He suddenly turned his head towards me and his eyes widened...Not in a good way. He pulled his arm back and pushed the guys legs off his lap before standing up.

“Sa-Sasukeh!” He shouted. “You came!”

He was not happy at all to see me, and he was not a good enough actor to fake it.

“Yeah...I didn’t have much to do. I figured it would be fun”

“O-ofcourse!” He suddenly wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in a hug.

“I got you something!” I said,pulling out of the hug to hand him the package.

“Oh, you didn’t have to” He put the package on the coffee table before grabbing my arm “Let’s go outside!” He shouted, pulling me with him.

This all just gave me a bad feeling.

I turned my head, seeing a few people staring. At first, I thought it were just people looking what was going on, but...Well...Those were glared aimed towards me. I guess I am a generally hated person or everybody in this room has a crush on Naruto.

“Nice party” I said once we were outside.

Yeah that was me trying to be nice.

“What are you doing here?”  He asked me dead serious.

“Being a good friend and showing up at your party…” I wasn’t so sure of my answer anymore.

“You hate parties” He seemed  stressed.

“Sometimes things we love outweighs the things we hate” I looked at the ground. It is something I am used to doing when I feel scolding coming up...Or confrontation..Anything unpleasant on my side.

“No, no Sasuke, this is not the time to be romantic” he covered his eyes with his hand.

“It is a pretty good line, right?  I am going to use that one in my fanfiction” I tried to lighten the mood.

“Sasuke, listen..” He put his hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look at him.

‘Is there something I did wrong?” I asked.

“No...No…” He pulled me in a hug.  “I am just very glad you are here” He said.

“Alright…” I was sure he was not glad. There was something up...But he wouldn’t tell me.

“You know,” I pulled out of the hug.  “I am going to grab a drink. Warm up” I said.

“Great idea, let’s go to a bar!” Naruto said.

“Uhn..You have an entire liquor table. Why would you want to go to a bar”

“Well...It’s ...Uhm...More personal. Y’know. Just us..No loud music...Or...A shit load of people-”

“Wow, Naruto. You don’t have to babysit me. You can just do whatever you want. I am just getting a few drinks, go to Tobirama and Izuna and take a cab home later” I cupped his cheek.

“It is your birthday..Have fun”  

He opened his mouth to say something, but he didn’t get the chance to. Somebody screamed his name and I saw two guys heading towards him, wrapping an arm around him.

“Haven’t seen you in four years!” He said. He ruffled up Naruto’s hair.

And somehow Naruto did not seem comfortable..In fact. He seemed tense.

“We are partly to blame though. You know..Prison and shit” the other guy said, “but guess early releases are there for a reason”

Oh...Seems he can even make friends with ex-cons.

“Oh fuck, who is this?” The guy with the large hoody, pushed Naruto away and stood in front of me.  “Hey sweetie”

“Just no” I said, shaking my head.

“Oh damn, I was just being friendly. I wanted to have some conversation here. Meet people!” He said, moving his hands while he spoke.

“You remind me of somebody…” The other guy narrowed his eyes.

“Naaahh” Naruto,pushed them aside and wrapped his arm around my waist. “Your memory is just fucked. Maybe you should keep off the pills, dattebayo”

They chuckled.

“Speaking off pills. Happy birthday man!” The guy extended his hand and grabbed Naruto’s in some firm handshake.

I could see a small back getting exchanged. I looked at Naruto from the corner of my eye. I didn’t know he hung out with people like that.

“Thanks..But no thanks” Naruto returned this sneaky handshake.

“Come,Sasuke” He said, pulling me with him. “Enjoy the party you two”

We went to the backyard. I could see some people making out on some creaking bench swing.

“You want something to drink-”

“What was that all about?”  I interrupted him.

I was starting to find out the reason why he didn’t want me here. He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous way.

“I am not going to lie to you. I used to hang out with them” he said, giving me this rather sad look.

“Yeah, I figured. Were those pills part of your friendship too?”

“No...Uhm...I once had them..Just to try out” He said.  

I frowned. He was a bad liar.

“Right” I sighed.

“This is why you didn’t want me here, isn’t it?” I looked up to meet his eyes.

“Not the entire reason…” He bit down his lip.

“Oh dumbass” I shook my head. ‘I am going to find my brother and tell him I am going, but you enjoy your party. I’ll see you Sunday”

I wanted to go back inside, but Naruto grabbed my wrist.

“Don’t be mad...Please?” He said, giving me the puppy eyes.

“No, I am not mad about shit you did in the past...We all have our...stories” I couldn’t word that more subtle. I leaned a little in so I could whisper in his ear.

“Just between us, you two friends back there...I actually think I arrested them four years ago.”

He chuckled before nodding.

“I kinda..Know it was you..” He said.

“How come? Oh right because you were a troubled youth”

“And you were some kid that was trying to make daddy proud of you by proofing how tough you were”

“We both were fucked-up” I said and placed a small kiss on his cheek.

“I am going to go before people figure it out” I said,  “enjoy your party”

[theamazinguchihabruhs]

Mock Trail

Nothing was better than a quiet Saturday afternoon wasted by watching  Netflix with freshly made popcorn on your lap. My head was leaning on Itachi’s chest and damn was I glad he was wasting his Saturday the same way as I did. I snuggled closer to him. Damn, I wished time could stop for a second.

“Bye guys, see ya tonight-”

“Hold up” I felt Itachi push me away. Damn it, I jinxed the moment!

“Where are you going?”

Izuna looked at me before looking back at Itachi.

“Tennis court…” He said.

“And you are taking my car?” Itachi stated, seeing his car keys in Izuna’s hand.

“Yes, but you said as long as mine is in the garage, I could use yours” Izuna looked a bit annoyed by whatever Itachi was trying to get to.

“I did, but I expect you to be respectful towards my stuff and careful” Itachi stood up from the couch and I felt like I needed to keep my guard up and jump in when they would rip each other’s clothes off, but thinking of that idea actually sounded more interesting than watching Orange is the New Black for the fourth time.

“Wow, wow, wow…I am” Izuna said, resting one hand on his hip. OOOH, the bitch mode was turned on.

“Somebody who would have been careful wouldn’t have scratched my car”

“Scratched?!” Izuna scoffed, “It had nothing wrong with it when I drove it home from the mall” Itachi grabbed Izuna’s face and looked him right in the eye, even going so far as to point a small light at each eye.

“You want me to send you to an eye doctor?” He cocked his head and damn did he sound like a first class bitch.

“My eyes are fine! Unlike your split ends” Izuna pointed at Itachi’s hair.

“Ooohh, no, he, didn’t” I threw a piece of popcorn up, catching it in my mouth while the argument got more and more heated.

“Hey…hey!” Shisui came in between them and I rolled my eyes. I guess the show was over.

“What’s up?” Madara asked leaning against the door frame. Both of them started explaining the situation. “Shut up!” Madara regretted ever asking.

“Izuna scratched niisan’s…Niisan-” I lost my shit to that joke. I laughed so hard for a minute before the living room was dead quiet.

“I didn’t scratch it!” Izuna frowned at Itachi.

“So the car grew some nails and scratched itself!”

“SCIENCE!” Izuna threw his hands in the air.

“It is really isn’t…” I was the only one to speak up, “Just admit you caused the scratch and get it over with”

“Hey, what if he really didn’t?” Madara suggested

“This calls for one thing” Shisui smiled when he looked at Madara.

“Fight to the death!” Madara suddenly seemed excited

“No! We agreed we don’t do that because it will give Sasuke an unfair advantage” Shisui said, “I was going to say a mock trial!”

“Fine!” Izuna said.

“Fine!” Itachi said, “I will take first pick, Sasuke!”

“You choose me to represent you?! Do you finally trust me that much?!” I felt honoured.

“No, I know you have seen 5 seasons of Suits, so I am trusting your Netflix abilities on this” Itachi was brutally honest.

“…I’ll take it” I said.

“Then I will call my lawyer!” Izuna grabbed his phone.

“You have an hour to prepare your cases” Shisui stated.

Oxoxoxxo

“Izuna, where is your lawyer? Will you be representing yourself?” Shisui asked, sitting on a stool behind a cupboard…yes…my family is weird. We take mock trials very seriously.

“He will be here any minute now, said lawyer had a game around noon” Izuna explained, giving me glare.

“If your lawyer isn’t here in five minutes then-”  The doorbell rung and I shared a look with Itachi.

“Your hair looks nice” Itachi ran his fingers through my hair.

“Niisan! I am a lawyer now” I pouted slightly.

“My lawyer arrived!” My eyes widened seeing Izuna drag Naruto through the door.

“Son of a bitch” I hissed.

“If Itachi is gonna put Sasuke against me, then I am gonna put Naruto against Sasuke!” Izuna sat down on the couch and pulled Naruto with him. “Why are you wet?”

“Because I took a shower after my game”

“Did you win?” Shisui asked genuinely interested.

“Yeah, dattebayo!” Shisui high fived him, “Next week, semi-finals”

“Of all of the idiots to choose…” Itachi shook his head by the sight of Naruto. “You can win this, right?”

“I didn’t watch five seasons of Suits for nothing” I said, “I did it for entertainment”

“So, this is the trial about the scratched car; Itachi claims Izuna had scratched his car and Izuna denies, whomever is on the stand is under oath” Shisui grabbed the album of embarrassment. AKA the photo album with all our baby nudes in them. “I am the judge, Madara is typing everything down, Naruto is Izuna’s lawyer, Sasuke is Itachi’s, who wants to begin with their opening statement?”

“I wil!” I stood up from behind the coffee table.

“You dressed up for this?!” Naruto looked surprised.

“Naruto, shut the fuck up” Shisui said from behind the cupboard.

“We take mock trials very seriously” Izuna whispered.

“I should have known this is one of the Uchiha things you guys do…I gotta get used to this-”

“You don’t, you can leave, Izuna, I will pay a real lawyer if you just let that blondie leave”

“Never, he bugs you and that is why he is my lawyer!” Izuna wrapped both arms around Naruto and damn did I want to break his arms.

“Order in the court!” Shisui’s plastic hammer made a squeaky noise when he hit it on the cupboard.

“Sasuke” Shisui made a sign with his hand for me to begin.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury-”

“Sasuke there is no jury, there is only me” Shisui interrupted me.

“Your honour” I quickly changed my words, “Are we really going to waste our Saturday giving a guilty man a chance to abuse our justice system? We have come to know Izuna as a rather big imbecile, there is even a big change he scratched the car himself and forgot about it, what I am trying to say is that…Izuna is guilty, if he wasn’t…why would he be trying to piss my client off by making Naruto his lawyer? Someone we all know is not on my client’s best side, Izuna, I speak for all of us when I say…just tell the truth and don’t make it worse on yourself”

“Powerful statement” Shisui said before looking at Naruto, “Naruto?”

“Your honour, my client is young, but he is not reckless, unlike the opposing counsel-”

“Objection, he is jumping to conclusions” I said, standing up.

“He is right” Shisui said looking at Naruto.

“Owh Sasuke, I was getting to that” Naruto walked towards his bag and grabbed a file. “My client has his driver’s license since he was nineteen. He is twenty-one now and has never once broken a traffic law or claimed money from the insurance company. As for Itachi… “He opened the file, “Parking tickets, driving through red lights, you hit your car three times on the same pole and you bumped against a parked car not once, not twice, but six times” he closed it before throwing it on the coffee table.  “It appears to me Itachi scratched the car and is trying to push the blame to my client, now, I am not saying that Mr Uchiha is doing this out of embarrassment or out of mere hatred for his only two years younger brother…but I know…my client is willing to settle…for 90”

“90 bucks?” I looked at Izuna.

“90 thousand, dattebayo” Naruto said.

“What?!” Both Itachi and I said. I looked through the file Naruto had put on our table.

“Hey…law school is very expensive”  Naruto had a cocky smile before sitting down.

“Objection!” I stood up, “There are legitimate police records here, he can’t possibly have required this information in a legal way and therefore counts as invalid”

“Who says I got them illegally? A little birdy dropped them on my doorstep” Naruto said.

“I’ll allow it” Shisui said.

“Son of a bitch…” I heard Itachi hiss. He grabbed his phone.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Calling a real lawyer!” He shouted, I slapped the phone out of his hands.

“Oh, it is war!” I shouted.

“I call to the stand! Uchiha Izuna!” I said. Izuna stood up and sat on the ground next to the stool. “Yeah, yeah I swear on my naked baby pics I will tell the truth and nothing but the truth” Izuna put one hand on the album.

“Izuna, did you borrow my client’s car while yours was in the garage?”

“Yes” Izuna said.

“And is it true that your car got in the garage because there was something wrong with the battery?”

“Yes”

“Then tell me…what exactly happened to the battery?”

“It broke”

“How? And let me remind you…you are under oath”  Izuna glared at me before rolling his eyes.

“Because it was drained, dude, I am not a technician” Izuna hissed.

“The battery drained, how? Did you keep the lights of the car on for the entire weekend even though Itachi told you the lights of your car were on, but you…forgot about it?”

“…Yes…”

“You are quite chaotic, Izuna, your room is, your car is…your head is, what makes you think that you didn’t do it? Are you afraid to get in trouble? After everything Itachi has done for you don’t you think…deep inside…you know…it was you-”

“Objection, he is trying to guilt trip my client” Naruto stood up.

“I was merely questioning his mental state”

“You weren’t questioning, you were accusing, his mental state can only be evaluated by a profession AKA my dad!”

“He is right” Shisui said. I sighed.

“Last question, do you think Itachi scratched his own car just to scold you?”

“No, but-”

“It was a yes or no question, I don’t need anything else, no more questions” I sat down. Now it was Naruto’s turn.

“Izuna, when was the last time you borrowed the car?” Naruto asked.

“Yesterday, to go to the mall” Izuna answered.

“When you parked the car, did you see a scratch?”

“No”

“After?”

“I don’t recall…”

“Objection-”

“On what ground?!” Naruto turned around to look at me

“I don’t recall is the answer of a guilty person!” I sat back down.

“Denied, continue Naruto” Shisui said.

“When the car was in the garage, did you…or did you not…scratch it?” Naruto asked.

“I didn’t” Izuna said.

“See…he is innocent, let’s stop blaming the little man for our own mistakes” He looked at Itachi, “No further questions”

“Alright…nice ass-essment of the case,” I clear my throat, “My client is a penny” I stated, getting up from behind the coffee table.

“Why is that?” Shisui asked.

“Because he is…in a cent” I said and I swear I heard a grasshopper in the room. I cleared my throat .”I like to call Itachi on the stand” Niisan got up and sat next to the cupboard, doing the same oath as Izuna.

“Niisan, when was the last time you drove your nisan?” I chuckled at my joke again.

“A few days ago” Itachi said.

“Was there a scratch?” I asked.

“No”

“So, if that scratch came between yesterday and today, and you didn’t drive the car…that means somebody else has, meaning the scratch was not made by my client, no further questions, your honour” I sat back down when Naruto got up.

“Itachi…Itachi…” Naruto walked around the living room, “Is is true you never really liked Izuna-”

“Objection, that is personal” I said.

“Sasuke is right” Shisui said.

“Let me rephrase, Itachi, have you ever tried pushing the blame to somebody else before? And I want you to think deeply…let me remind you…you are under oath”

“Probably, I am not sure-”

“You are not sure, like you are not sure about scratching the car-”

“Objection, he is personally attacking my client” I said.

“I was merely suggesting…” Naruto said.

“Be nicer” Shisui said.

“Itachi, you might not have been driving the car…but what is stopping you from scratching it with a key…or…another car? Say there is an emergency at the hospital…whose car did you take?”

“Madara’s”

“Owh, the other car in the garage, that garage…it is pretty small to fit two cars, one being yours…the other being Madara’s” Naruto remained quiet, “For somebody who can’t park for shit, that could have some troubles…maybe…scratching a car?”

“Objection, if nii-san would even have driven Madara’s car, it would mean Madara’s car was scratched too”

“It would be…but Madara’s car is pretty new…and you know what new cars have? Self-healing car paint uses sunlight to repair scrapes”

“I call bullshit!” I said

“The self-healing coating uses chitosan which is derived from chitin, the main component of the exoskeleton of creatures such as  shrimp, crab, lobster, the chitosan is chemically incorporated into traditional polymer materials, such as the ones used in the outer coatings to protect the paint on cars-”

“WHATEVER! Magical car paint, however, if Madara’s car was parked in the garage there ain’t no uv-light!”

“Which brings me to my last question, where is Madara’s car now?”

“I don’t know, it was in the garage when I came back from work in the morning” Itachi said.

“I parked it outside after doing shopping with Shisui” Madara answered.

“Let the record know it is 25 degrees celcius outside…full sunshine”

“These are just assumptions, my client is not agreeing to any of this!”  I said.

“Which is why I call to the stand…Sasuke”

“I am the lawyer!” I protested.

“I’ll allow it” Shisui said, leaning his elbows on the cupboard. I sighed sitting on the place Itachi sat a second ago. I did the same oath before folding my arms.

“Sasuke, is it true you find me not only cute but…hella cute?”

“Objection, this is off topic” I said.

“I’ll allow it” Shisui looked down at me with a smile on his face, I rolled my eyes.

“You are…hella…cute” I muttered.

“Aww thank you~” Naruto smiled, “Sasuke, was I your first real kiss? Who is not related to you” I looked at Shisui, who didn’t say anything.

“Yes…” I sighed.

“Is it true I am the best kiss you ever had?”

“False, Izuna is a good kisser” Naruto pouted by my words.

“Is it true you have no plans on Sunday?”

“I have plans-”

“Let the record know, watching netflix all day is not considered as plans”

“Alright…I don’t have plans” I said.

“Is there a possibility you would like to go to the lake with me?”

“Objection!” Itachi got up.

“You don’t get to say that” Shisui said, indicating Itachi to sit back down.

“Maybe…” I answered.

“Did you really want to get in professor Sunrays pants or was it just a joke?”  Naruto asked.

“I really wanted to get in his pants” I sighed.

“Would you consider Utakata still as an option?”

“Clarify option?” I asked

“Marriage candidate” Naruto stated.

“I don’t believe in marriage, so no” I said.

“Hm…no further questions”

“Fine, I call Naruto on the stand!” I grabbed Naruto by his arm, pulling him to the ground before I got up. He was about to reach for the album, but I kicked him away.

“You lie, I cut your balls, that is your oath” I gave him a dead serious look.

“Naruto, is it true that at some point in your life…you had a sex dream about me?” The room was dead quiet.

“Yes” Naruto admitted, “But I also once dreamt a tiger ate my foot while a half human half dolphin made love to me, dattebayo”

“So would you consider the sex dream I was in hot?”  I asked, “I will remind you, you are under oath”

“…Objection-” Naruto bit his lip as he looked at Shisui.

“I’ll allow it” Shisui said.

“Well?” I asked him

“It was pretty hot” Naruto answered.

“How was I? Was I riding you, doing you, were you doing me?-”

“You were dressed in a Donkey Kong costume and you said I should call you Donkey DingDong”

“And that was hot?!” Madara bursted out laughing.

“…Don’t judge me…” Naruto hid his face behind his hands.

“Next question” I put my fingers together, “Stop me when I am about right” I said separating my fingers, indicating how big his dick is. “No…no way…really?…Oh my God” I looked at Naruto and back at my fingers before nodding.

“Impressive…last question” I cleared my throat ,”Will you pick me up on Sunday?”

“Yeah, dattebayo”

“No further questions” I said, sitting back down behind the coffee table.

“Hey guys…if my car is parked outside…where is Shisui’s car parked?” Madara asked, looking at the typed up conversation.  

“I parked it…in the…garage…” Shisui said, causing everybody to freeze.

“When?” I was the only one to ask.

“….After we came back from shopping…”  Shisui seemed to realize the same thing we all realized.

“Right before Itachi woke up and saw the scratch on the car…”I narrowed my eyes.

“There small chance…it might have been me…” Shisui muttered.

“GOD DAMN IT, SHISUI!” Everybody yelled.

( SPECIAL THANKS TO @failureoftheyear)

[punkwithpaints]

My dudes, please know it's parody. But still accurate.) THiS iSH MEH OC!!!!! X3333333 She's part of NARUTO!! ❤️❤️❤️ (But Naruto is a BAKA!! >.<) She is meh ORGINIAL OC!!! DO NOT STEAL PLZ!!!!!!! Name: Niisan Ultamasa Toyota Chan Age: 16 years young Personality: Goth (NOT SCENE!!!), quiet, she intimidates people with her eyes. Doesn't care about you or any1 else!!!! (She's like that XDD) and they will tear YOUR THROAT OUT!!! She's crazy! But once you get 2 know her she's totes RAnDomZZZZ!1!!!1(PASTAAAAAA!!! lol Randomz like that) Appearance: She has sharp teeth and pointy ears cuz her mom was a werewolf! She haz lotz of scars from all the fights she's been in. (And she looks totally cool X3) One of her eyes is red. The other is rainbow. One is Gold. BUT THEY GLOW RED WHENZ SHES ANGER. (RAwr! XD) She wears a green belly shirt and black shorts with stockings, and high heel stilettos. (She's awesome like that!!!!!) She's a potty mouth X33 Quotes: "Psh....Nothing personal kid." "Psh, ...amateur ..." "Do I look like I care?" "...Pathetic." Backstory and about her!: She is married to Sasuke (Sakura can GO GET EATEN BY ANGREY BADGERS!!!...0.0....-//.//- hehe, sorry.) and she is the daughter of Kakashi Sensei!! She has demon blood and demons seals cause she was born with the demon of the 10 tailed ninetails! Her parents died before she was born :( They died saving Atlantis in the Pacific ocean....:( Her brother is Inyuasha. She has been the Hokage 4 TIMES!! cuz she is immortal. She's also the Avatar, she meets Aang in season 6. Everyone loves her, except the leaf village Becuz she killed them all with her powerz. But everyone likes her! Goku taught her the spirit bomb and she also is the dragonborn. (She meets FusroDah in season 7) Powers: Can grow wings and fly. Can control Earth, Wind, Fire, Rain, Water, Lightning, Thunder, Clouds, Plants, Metal, Wood, Birds, Can talk to animals (But don't make a disney princess joke!!! >x< She isn't some frilly girl!!!! She's kickbutt!), and she can create and destroy whole universes with 1 THOUGHT! She can heal people with a single touch but ALSO KILL PEOPLE WITH ONE TOUCH. She can Naruto run at 1000 MILES A SECOND! (She learnt it from Sonic, cause she raced him and WON!!!!) She can control peoples minds, she has telekinesis, super strength, and shapeshift! She has no flaws cause she's literally perfect and everyone loves her!!!!!!! She also hates herself cause she's killed people. :,( She's also an alien, btw, and a princess of her OWN VILLAGE! It's the Village of the Atlantic, like, literally it's in the middle of the Atlantic ocean but she can keep it afloat because her mom and dad were decedents of Atlantis and that's why she's the princess! Also it's cuz she can control water and can keep it afloat, even if she's super far away! (She cool like that.....Nyaaaa~) She has 6 fingers cuz her 6th finger is her pinky, it holds the powers of the 9tails 10 tails demon inside her. She chop it off to unleash the beast. Concern not, it grows back cause she has regenerative powers. Weapons: SHES A WEAPoN! She can also summon any weapon she wants and demons!!! NO CRITICS PLZ!!!!!! I know I'm right and don't need you opinion onions! I am a true artist cuz I don't need to use references and ask for help!!! Anime teaches me everything I need to know!! Realism is stupid! Bakas....

[theamazinguchihabruhs]

Hey Sasuke ^_^ Could you maybe tell me about a time when you were sick and your brothers had to take care of you?

Sick

“Everything is fine, enough about us, how was the conference?” Shisui asked, tapping his finger annoyingly on the table. Madara couldn’t help looking at it tap away. To the extent that he had to grab fork. Attempting to stab it in Shisui’s finger, he almost made it, if it wasn’t for Shisui’s fast reflexes.

“Asshole!” He hissed.

“Excuse me?” Itachi asked, causing Shisui to immediately look back at the image of Itachi on the laptop, via Skype.  

“Not you, Madara tried to stab me with a fork”

“Worth it” Madara smirked smugly, “So speaking of conferences, did you choke during your lecture on...whatever the fuck it was?”

Itachi looked at Shisui before shaking his head slightly, wondering why he was even dealing with Madara’s bullshit.

“How is everybody back home? Did Obito have a pleasant flight home?”

“No, the plane was cancelled and I had to take the train instead” Obito said as he walked passed the dining table into the kitchen to grab a bottle of coconut water before walking towards the table to look at Itachi, “It has been a while, you have been away from home...it is good you are leaving your comfort zone”

“What do you mean ‘comfort zone’? I didn’t leave Konoha for the past years because of Sasuke, this time you guys insisted I left, Madara even bought my plane ticket”

“And I have not been bitched around for 1 day, best 200 bucks I spend” Madara smirked, but got smacked on the back of the head by Shisui, who immediately had to back off to avoid a bitch clap.

“Do you see why I am concerned?” Itachi shoved his bangs out of his face.

“So, since Itachi is gone for the weekend, I think a house party will totally-” Izuna stopped talking upon seeing all three brothers giving him a certain look. Izuna understood throughout the years as ‘Shut the fuck up Izuna, you are messing everything up!’

“He is joking” Shisui instantly said.

“Hey Itachi!” Izuna grabbed the laptop from the table and held it in front of him. “Can I borrow your white shirt with that nice collar? Since you won’t be wearing it this weekend anyway”

“Why are you asking? You are going to take it anyway” Itachi asked.

“I’ll take that as a yes” Izuna smiled.

“Izuna, where is Sasuke?”

“School?” Izuna seemed to be thinking very deeply.

“It is 3PM on a Saturday, c’mon, if he is still sleeping then take me up to his room and turn the volume up to the loudest setting...add some speakers too, I want to make sure he is listening when I am scolding him”

“Oh, I wanna see that, no, I got to see that” Madara said.

“I do want to film this” Obito said, looking at Shisui.

“Only serves him right for being so lazy” Shisui stood up from his chair and followed his brother up the stairs to Sasuke’s room. Izuna kicked the door open and presented the laptop in his hands as if it was baby Simba from the Lion King.

“What…?” The voice sounded sore and soft. Sasuke slowly tilted his head. He was pale, sweaty and there were red circles around his eyes. There was a moment of silence.

“I can’t see him, Izuna?” Itachi asked, though Izuna threw the laptop on the desk.

“A dead body!” Izuna shouted.

“Holy fuck, Sasuke, what happened?” Shisui sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped his arms around Sasuke, pulling him close to him so he was sitting half up.

“I...caught a cold”

“You got aids, buddy!” Madara said, even though it wasn’t the time to laugh. Obito and Izuna couldn’t hold back.

“How did this happened? You were fine yesterday when we drove Itachi to the airport!”

“He is...allergic for not being around Itachi?” Izuna asked. Shisui’s eyes widened recalling the moment he had parked the car and Sasuke coughed in the backseat. Itachi was about to turn around, but Shisui told him to get out and go on his plane because he was- according to Shisui- seeking for an excuse to stay. Little did he know that one cough was the indication that...could have prevented the dead corpse in his hands right now. He could already imagine how angry Itachi would be at him...how he would get blamed...damn this!

“We got to bring him to a doctor, I don’t trust this one bit” Obito commented.

“Should we call Itachi?” Izuna asked

“No!” Shisui shouted, surprising the others, “Damn, if Itachi knew this would happen and I pushed him away, he will blame me for it!”

“So what are you suggesting?” Obito looked confused.

“To let him die?” Madara guessed.

“No, no...we...we will bring him to a doctor...we just won’t tell Itachi!”

“Bad move, the nearest hospital is downtown and that is where Itachi works, I bet if a coworker sees ‘Uchiha Sasuke’ they will immediately contact Itachï” Izuna stated.

“How about we drive to another city?” Obito suggested.

“Who knows the connections Itachi has? Don’t trust any legitimate doctor! They are all connected to him...with some...weird...group chat...or some shit”  Madara said.

“Maybe...he will just get better with sleep? Right...Sasuke?” Shisui looked down.

“He...He passed out…” Madara commented, putting his hand on Sasuke’s forehead. “He is warm…”  

“Shisui, I know you don’t want Itachi to know and stuff, but...what if this is serious? Would you rather have Itachi be angry at you and make sure Sasuke is fine, or have Itachi never talk to you again and burry Sasuke’s body?”  Obito asked.

“The second one does sound a lot more appealing” Shisui said outloud.

“What...neh...but...Neehh~”  Madara folded his arms.

“Say something!”

“What if I said that...I know this guy, he is not legally a doctor, but...he is a doctor”

“An immigrant that yet has to get his licence evaluated?” Shisui asked, hoped filled his eyes.

“Kinda…” Madara sounded doubtful, “Either way, he seems like a...decent guy”

“Fine! We bring him to that guy!” Shisui stood up and wrapped the blankets around Sasuke before titling him up.

“Shisui...this is Madara we are talking about!” Obito looked surprised.

“And for once in my life, I am ready to trust him!”

“Do you care that little about Sasuke?” Izuna asked, going through Sasuke’s stuff on his desk

“No...I am just that afraid of Itachi…” Shisui admitted.

Oxoxoxox

“Is...is this the place?” Shisui looked unsure as Madara stopped the car.

“He said to meet on the 13th floor, that is probably his apartment” Madara parked the car.

“So...doesn’t this look like some shady ass neighbourhood?” Obito asked.

“Good call, you stay in the car and make sure nobody steals it” Madara said and stepped out.

“I am not gonna carry him” Izuna pushed Sasuke on Obito before stepping out.

“Weakling” Shisui  said, causing Izuna to turn around and grab Sasuke.

“Watch me! I am the strongest motherfucker ali-” He dropped Sasuke, causing his legs to be out of the car and his torso still half in. “I am weak, okay? Nothing wrong with that” Izuna walked away, causing Shisui to shake his head.

“Where...where are we?” Sasuke whispered, his eyes half lidded and falling close again.

“Don’t worry, princess, everything is going to be okay” Shisui said, titling him up.

“Where is niisan?” Sasuke muttered, his arms wrapped around Shisui’s neck, “Niisan…”

“You don’t need him, this is going to be over in no time” Shisui said, but the looks both Madara and Izuna gave him did not seem...well, they didn’t seem to believe in Shisui’s bullshit.

“So who is this guy?” Izuna asked as he walked inside the apartment block and stepped into the elevator.

“I don’t personally know him, I know him from somebody who knew somebody who had his number”

“So...it is like a blind date with a ugly person?” Izuna commented.

“Did...did...somebody feed Sasuke yet?” Madara asked.

“...that is a problem for later” Shisui stated.

They walked out if the elevator and a man was standing in front of a door. He was holding a cool box and was wearing a hoodie and sunglasses.

“Are you the doctor?” Shisui asked. The man looked up and said something in a foreign language that sounded eastern European.

“...I...I don’t speak...whatever you are speaking” Shisui said.

“Doctor?” Izuna asked trying to imitate a surgeon.

“Yes, yes!” The man said, mimicking what appeared to be butcher. Shisui looked at the man before looking at Sasuke.

“Is he...really...a doctor?” He whispered to Madara.

“He said yes” Madara said “That must be his apartment” The man suddenly knelt down and held a pin in his hand as he cracked the door open. “He probably just lost his key”

He indicated for the others to come in and he immediately went to the bathroom, he opened the cool box and put the sacks of ice in the tub.

“Body...here…” The man said, saying more words in his native tongue.

“Don’t you first want to examine him?” Shisui asked.

“Dude, he is the doctor, don’t question him, it is rude” Izuna said.

“I don’t think...we should put him in a tub with ice”

“No, no, ice good...kill bacteria!” The man said, throwing his hands in the air for some apparent reason.

“Just do what he says” Madara said. Shisui hesitated, but then put Sasuke down in the bathtub right on the ice. The man said some more things in his native tongue, but the Uchihas were just staring at him, no idea what he was trying to say.

“Kidney?” Shisui guessed and the man nodded.

“His kidneys are fine” Izuna said.

“Yeah, both are fine” Madara added. The man nodded, indicating for them to go.

“When do we get him back?” Shisui asked.

“2 hours, max!” The man said as he then closed the door behind Izuna.

“Okay...his methods are probably just old fashioned” Shisui tried to calm himself.

“Yes...probably, weird guy” Madara said as he pressed the button on the elevator that closed the doors.

“I liked that guy” Izuna stated.

“Really?”

“Yeah, not everyday you get so much money handed to you for nothing!” Izuna revealed the stacks of money in his hands, causing both Shisui and Madara to look at the money before looking at one another.

“That seems like...twenty-five thousand bucks…” Shisui whispered.

“That is value of a kidney”

“Maybe it is meant as bail, until we get Sasuke back...though...I rather hold onto this money-”

“WE HAVE TO GO BACK TO THAT ROOM!” Shisui shouted as Madara repeatedly pressed the 13 button.

“He is cutting him open!” Madara shouted.

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT!” Shisui ran out of the elevator as soon as the door opened and tried to open the door of the apartment, but it was locked.

“Kick it open!” Madara hissed.

“THIS IS YOUR FAULT!” Shisui shouted, kicking the door three times before it finally opened.

“Sasukeeee!!” Both Shisui and Madara were panting, but they seemed relieve the moment they saw the man unconscious on the floor.

“‘Vy prodayete yego pochki’ translates to ‘Are you selling his kidneys’!” Sasuke was shouting, though his shouting sounded like the normal volume of talking.

“You gotta hand it to him…sick as fuck and still kicking ass” Madara patted Shisui’s shoulder, “This is all your fault, buddy”

“I am so...so...soooo~ sorry” Shisui grabbed the blanket from the ground and wrapped it around Sasuke before embracing him tightly. “I was being selfish and stupid and I brought you into danger-”

“Nah, I knocked him out as soon as I woke up and saw him try to cut me with a scalpel,” Sasuke whispered, wrapping his arms around Shisui.

“I am sorry…” Shisui said, “Let’s go home, I will put an extra blanket on you and make you soup and call a real doctor” Shisui promised, Sasuke nodded, “Carry me-”

“You just knocked a guy out and you want to get carried to the ca-” Shisui stopped talking when he had to catch Sasuke’s body since he fainted, “Okay...no questions asked”

“Izuna, leave the cash, it is considered stealing if we haven’t given the man any good functioning kidneys”

‘I will give mine!”  Izuna protested.

“Leave. The. Cash.That is final” Madara sounded moody.

Oxoxox

“Okay, okay, I forgot the number of the family doctor, but I think it written somewhere with the emergency numbers-” Shisui stopped talking hearing Izuna suddenly scream. He shared a look with Madara, who then walked to the living room. Another scream was heard. Shisui swallowed.

“Hold him,” He said to Obito pushing Sasuke towards him before slowly walking towards the living room, he opened the door and the moment he entered the room a hand grabbed him by his throat and pushed him against the wall.

“You motherfucker” Itachi said as he narrowed his eyes. Shisui’s eyes widened and he was about to scream, but he managed to hold back.

“How...do you know?” Shisui asked, gasping for air when Itachi let go.

“Next time when you let Izuna hold a laptop, don’t let him keep it on, I saw everything, I heard everything! But this time there is no mute button to be accidently pressed!”

“We brought him to a doctor...sort of…” Madara argued.

“Man, guys what an adventure it was, a random guy trying to cut out Sasuke’s kidneys for money, ha, I can’t believe he almost got away with it” Obito said as he entered the living room, “Sasuke, don’t tell Itachi, alright?” He said as he seemed to ignore everyone in the room, until he had put Sasuke down on the couch and turned around.

“Holy shit, Itachi...how did you get here so fast?” Obito’s eyes widened, “I...I was not in on this all...so you know…”

“My sweet little brother! What have they done to you?!” Itachi pushed Obito aside and embraced Sasuke, he was quiet for 20 whole seconds before turning his head around and glaring at the others. “He is unconscious...you bastards”

All four swallowed loudly in fear.

oxoxoxox special thanks to @failureoftheyear 0x0x0x0x

[theamazinguchihabruhs]

Childhood story #2

The wedding

“Fucking dishes,” Shisui closed the tap before taking the gloves off. He threw them on the counter causing it to get wet again.

“Can you put these in the cupboard?” Itachi held two mugs. The curly haired teenager ran his hand through his hair before looking rather annoyed.

“Do it yourself, ‘Tachi!” He snapped.

“Owh, Shisui, I want to but...My height in total is 145 cm. You think I can reach that far?” The eleven years old shoved the mugs back in Shisui’s hands and the older boy was left with no comeback.

“Fine, whatever.”

“So is the moodiness coming from your acne getting worse?” The voice of Itachi sounded teasing.

“It is acne...Wait you said that..I thought you meant pimples.” Shisui put the mugs back in their place.

“You know it is normal around your age-”

“I know that! You don’t have to lecture me.” Shisui sighed annoyed.

“You know what might help-”

“You shutting up about it. You aren’t a doctor. You are allowed to lecture me if you are wearing a white coat and a stethoscope around your neck, like my dermatologist.”

“At Least I know how to spell ‘stethoscope’.” Itachi grinned evilly the moment Shisui looked down at him.

“You were one of mom’s big mistakes.”

“After you.” This kid was on fire, and Shisui only got more frustrated with it.

“Owh...Now I feel bad.” Both Shisui and Itachi looked at Madara, holding a dirty glass, “No wait..I don’t!” With a satisfied look on his face, he put the glass down. “Good luck, suckers.”

“I take that back. He was her biggest mistake.” Shisui said pointing at Madara, who was walking away while sticking up his middle finger.

“Something we can agree on.” Itachi looked at Shisui and they both chuckled before grabbing the gloves.

“Niisan~ Are you ready for our wedding?” The voice seemed to come from behind the corner. Both Shisui and Itachi turned their heads and saw a small bit of Sasuke’s shoulder, who was hiding behind the wall.

“Otouto, I will be done in a minute-” He wanted to walk towards the six years old, but the boy heard the steps and suddenly covered his eyes, “No~Niisan, it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding!”

“Ah~ right! Give me half an hour.”

“Half an..Hour..” Sasuke repeated questionable.

“When you look at the clock and see the long line reach the number 12. Alright?”

“Yes!” The kid ran the other way and Itachi couldn’t help but to smile seeing his baby brother run to the garden.

“What is that about?” Shisui asked.

“Owh he wants to marry me. I read about it, it turns out that some kids go through this phase.”

“Why don’t you read a comic book, like every darn kid.”

“Are you jealous?” Itachi raised a cocky eyebrow. Shisui scoffed and turned back to the sink.

“At the very least I expected to be invited to the wedding of my own brothers.” He joked.

“Very well, half an hour by the oak tree in the park. Don’t be late for the ceremony, and as a gift, I would recommend some tomatoes from the fridge, also there is no free bar.”

“Why should I even be going?” Shisui shook his head.

“Can I borrow your white top? I sort of promised him to wear white.”

“No,”

“Comen on! I promised!” Itachi argued.

“Won’t be the first  promise you break in his life.”

“Don’t be mean. I won’t ever do that. And I don’t need your top. I will ask mom.”

“Right, ask for her dress while you are on it.” Shisui rolled his eyes, though it didn’t bug Itachi one bit. As Itachi wore his white pants and his mother’s blouse he had some minor struggles braiding his hair as Sasuke had requested.

“Itachi, what are you doing?” Izuna cocked his head confused.

“Ah, could you help me braid my hair?” Without having to ask for a second time. Izuna was already on it. He sat on the couch while Itachi sat in front of him. “So, I am going to braid a lock on the right and then on the left. Then I will join them together in the back.” He said it like he was really good at it, though the end results were two crappy braids joined together with a hairpin.

“Dad?” Itachi saw his father read the paper, “Could you walk me down the aisle? I am getting married today..Sort of..”

“Are you an adult already? They are right...Time flies by.” Fugaku lowered the paper to look at his son, sitting on the ground. “You look just like your mother.”

“Dad, stop the lame jokes. They are not funny.” Itachi showed one teenage characteristic that stayed with him till the early twenties; he rolled his eyes dramatically.

“Sasuke wants to marry me,” Itachi stated, causing Fugaku to drop his paper on the ground.

“It is apparently a phase kids go through,” Shisui added.

“I know that!” Fugaku raised his voice, “Why you? I am his daddy..He is supposed to ask me to marry him.” The old man seemed to be hurt.

“Maybe he knows you will die fast anyway. You are already so old.” Shisui received a deadly glare from his father. “Besides, shouldn’t we worry about him not marrying mom, who is like the only female in this house?” The curly haired boy got ignored.

“It is probably nothing personal, dad,” Itachi said.

“Why am I not invited?” Izuna asked.

“You can come, it’s in the park,” Itachi said and got up from the ground.

“He is there alone?” Shisui’s eyes looked concerned for a moment.

“No, Obito is with him. I think he dragged Madara along.” Itachi grabbed the two candy rings. “You can be the ring man.” he handed the rings to Izuna. “Don’t eat them.”

“I will tag along. I can tease both of you forever with this.” Shisui smiled.

“Yeah seems life is teasing you with the acne,” Fugaku muttered as he got up.

“Dad!” Shisui shouted.

Oxoxoxoxxo

“Ah, there is your bride, Sasuke. Look!” Obito pointed at the grass seeing Itachi walk towards them.

“Aaaah~ aniki is so pretty!” Obito chuckled seeing how adorable Sasuke was as he looked in awe. “Ah, daddy is here too!” He clapped his hands from excitement.

“Am I the only one finding this weird?” Madara sighed, sitting on the grass next to some stuffed animals. “And why does a teddy bear get to be the best man? I am a human.” Madara glared at mr. Roary. “I sure hope his real wedding has an open bar.”

“Shush, it is starting.” Obito threw a branch at Madara.

“Dude..He wore his good shirt for this.” Shisui took a seat next to Madara.

“Even a tie...A ninja turtle tie, but a tie,” Madara added, “So they involved dad in this too?”

“He even got offended why Sasuke wants to marry Itachi and not him.”

“Why do I have such a weird family.” Madara exhaled exhausted.

“We both.”

“Shut up, if freak shows still existed you would be known as Acne-boy the personification of Acne. If you were a comic book character you would be Acne-nator and your super ability would be to gross people out.” Madara turned his head to the imaginary aisle, his hair touching Shisui’s face, causing the boy to sneeze. “Are you catching a cold? Are you alright? Do you want my jacket?” Madara asked, looking at Shisui from the corner of his eyes.

“You need to see a therapist,” Shisui muttered before looking at Obito standing in front of the oak tree, holding a sheet of paper while Itachi and Sasuke were holding hands.

“We gathered here...In front of this oak tree to-”

“Kidding me? You really studied the lines-”

“It is from the internet, now shush!” Obito pointed at Madara, indicated the other to ‘zip it’.  He continued reading the after the sheet of paper before lowering it, “So you two have your own vows?” He asked. Sasuke nodded eagerly before grabbing a sheet of paper from under mr. Roary.

“Come on! He can’t even read!” Shisui threw his head back, not believing the sight.

“Hey! Objections come later!” Sasuke pouted before turning his head back at Itachi. He cleared his throat and turned the sheet of paper around, showing the drawing to Itachi.  “Niisan, this is us! Over like..Uhm..ten years! When we are old.” Sasuke pointed at the two stick figured in the middle, “But we are still happy and we have fun. We always play games and eat dango and tomatoes. I drew these hearts because will still loved you very very much.” He looked up and smiled a teeth showing smile while his cheeks turned pink, “I also drew the moon and the sun because I will love you day in and out. And Maddy made me glue the balloon there because he said I needed it for our honeymoon.”

Shisui eyes widened looking at the glued on condom. He turned his head to Madara.

“He doesn’t know what it is anyway!” He muttered before getting the very same look from Fugaku.

“And I know, there will be times that..I am messy and I think you are nagging. Like, Sasuke take a bath or Sasuke get in your pajamas or Sasuke go to bed and clean after yourself. But I love you no matter what.” He smiled lowering the drawing and grabbed the candy ring to put around his brother’s finger. Itachi laughed and poked Sasuke’s forehead.

“No matter what you decide to do in life. I will love you forever.” He said before joining their foreheads together before putting the other candy ring around Sasuke’s finger.

“With the ‘imaginary’ power invested in me by the country of Konoha. I declare you...Married.” Obito ripped the sheet of paper in two, “You may kiss your spouse.”

“What is a spouse?” Sasuke asked and looked at Obito who pointed at Itachi. “Niisan!” He wrapped his arms around his older brother and pushed his lips on top of Itachi for a short mini-kiss. Itachi lifted his little brother up and Sasuke automatically pressed his cheek against his brothers while wrapping his legs around Itachi.

“So, I have been promised ice-cream.” Madara ran his hand through his hair and looked at Obito.

“This is a beautiful moment and all you can think of is the bargain that made you come here.”

“Hella.”

“Hella, what does that mean, niisan? I mean...Waif..No....Husband?.. I mean spouse!”

“Look at you learning fast, little genius!” Obito patted Sasuke’s head.

“This is a beautiful moment. Let’s celebrate with some ice cream.” Fugaku said as he stood up.

“Yes! yess!” Izuna jumped up and down, “but now that Itachi and Sasuke got married.” Izuna looked at the two before looking back at Fugaku, “Can I marry Madara-nii?”

Fugaku lowered his head before exhaling deeply.

“Children...More like back stabbers…”He muttered.

------------------

*11 years later*

“Niisan,” Sasuke looked at his brother stepping inside the car. He was busy on his phone as his other hand was wrapped around the seatbelt.

“No, you can’t skip therapy. No discussions.” Itachi didn’t even look up.

“Can I have your hand?” Sasuke asked.

“Why?” Itachi asked he frowned while looking at the display.

“Come on, I won’t bite.”

“I don’t know about that.” Itachi put his phone down.

“Come on, worse case scenario, you will lose an arm.” Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know about you, but losing an arm is a pretty big deal for me.” Itachi sighed and gave in to Sasuke’s ‘pleading’. He turned his head to look at the window before feeling something wrapped around his index finger.

“You may look now.” Sasuke’s voice sounded slightly excited. Itachi didn’t react to it. “Niisan..”

“You said ‘may’-”

“MUST!” Sasuke threw his hands in the air, “you are impossible!” Itachi smirked as he then turned his head around. His heart skipped a beat as he looked at the candy ring around his finger. He looked closer, making sure his eyes weren’t tricking him.

“I walked past a candy shop and they were playing that 50 cent song so..I went to check it out and turns out they are making the exact brand again. I couldn’t help myself to get you your cherry flavored one...Since I ate yours back then.” Sasuke scratched his cheek before looking at his niisan.

“Nii...San..D-don’t cry! I didn’t mean to offend you or anything-” Sasuke gasped as Itachi suddenly jumped on him, his head hit the window, but it wasn’t too hard. “Aniki!”

“I still love you so, so, so much~ Otouto!!” He exclaimed, his chest pressed tightly against Sasuke’s. The younger Uchiha chuckled, letting his hand stroke Itachi’s back.

“Y’know as two old farts...I must admit...You are still pretty...Now get off me before people get the wrong idea-” He stopped mid-sentence, causing Itachi to turn his head around and see Naruto drag Sakura from her arm away from the car.

“Too late anyway.” Sasuke sighed as Itachi smiled and wrapped his arms around his little brother again.

-Special thanks to @emeneska-chan for editing-

[theamazinguchihabruhs]

Childhood story #3

Sasuke the explorer

“Say backpack”

“Backpack”

“Say backpack”

“Backpack!” Shisui rolled his eyes in an annoyed manner, he looked over his math book to his youngest brother who was sitting right in front of the TV.

“Turn it down” Shisui ordered, only to be ignored. “Princess” He put his book down and was ignored again. “Princess!”

Sasuke finally turned his head and Shisui wished he could scold his 5 years old brother for being so oblivious, but those innocent, doll-like eyes just screamed innocence. Besides, Shisui had noted before that Sasuke had the talent of completely blocking his surroundings and put 100% of his focus on one thing, which was mostly the TV.

“Turn it down” Shisui repeated.

“I am watching it”

“The volume, princess, the volume, I could not have been clearer!” Shisui leaned his head on his hands.

“Alright” He grabbed the remote control and turned the volume down, looking back at Shisui to see some sort of approval.

“That is good” Shisui said, looking back at the equation.

“Heeyy, little dinosaur!” Fugaku grabbed Sasuke from under his armpits and threw him in the air, immediately getting his youngest son’s attention.

“Rawr!” Sasuke roared loudly.

“Last time I checked, t-rexes were one of the biggest dinosaurs” Shisui sighed. Why wasn’t the library open on Sundays? It would have gotten him through his homework so much faster.

“Hey, listen buddy” He put Sasuke on the couch and squatted in front of him. “I have to go to work”

“I wanna come! I wanna come!” Sasuke got on his knees and bounced on the couch. Fugaku put both his hands on Sasuke’s shoulder and forced him to sit still.

“Sure…you wanna cum” Shisui sniggered. “You can’t, you have to be at least this tall” Fugaku put his hand up a random height and Sasuke stared at it.

“Can I stand on my toes?” He asked dead serious.

“No” Fugaku said bluntly. He stood up.

“But your brother will be babysitting you”

“I did not sign up for this” Shisui immediately responded.

“Five bucks” Fugaku negotiated.

“Pfff, no way, unless it is five bucks an hour”

“How about five bucks and you are not in a youth hostel?”

“You’re a bad dad, you know that?” Shisui cocked his head. Fugaku lifted his shoulders in a non-caring way.

“You will take care of him, don’t let him watch too much TV, oh…and if anything happens to him, it is on you”

“Why is it on me?”

“Should I blame a 5 years old or a 13 years old?” Fugaku raised a questionable eyebrow.

“Why not blame the dad who left the 13 years old in charge?” Shisui put his pen down.

“Damn boy, the more you grow up to more you start to sound like those attorney lawyers, annoying”

“The more I see this kind of injustice, the more I want to become a lawyer” Shisui leaned back in his chair and looked at his dad who was shaking his head.

“I will be back before dark” Fugaku stated, leaving his two sons alone.

Sasuke crawled off the couch and sat back in front of the TV. Shisui grabbed the remote control and turned it off, causing his younger brother to turn his head to Shisui.

“The TV. broke” He stated.

“Then you just have to do something else”

“Like?” The younger one stood up.

“Pff, go play with the ball in the backyard” Shisui suggested.

“Would you play with me?” Sasuke asked, it made Shisui chuckle again.

“Fuck no” Shisui shook his head before realizing what he just said. He looked back up.

“That is a no-no word” The younger one stated.

“Yes, it is…I was…testing you!” Shisui said.

“…Did I pass?” Sasuke asked, awkwardly looking around him.

“Yes, you did, go play in the backyard” Shisui picked his pen up and read the question over again. He turned the page on his notebook and started on a blank page.

Finally, some silence and alone time. Now the 13-years old could finally finish his darn math homework. Half an hour passed and Shisui looked up from the math problem. It was really quiet…maybe even…too quiet.

“Princess?!” Shisui called out, but didn’t get a response. He called again, but then decided to stand up and take a look himself.

“Sasuke?” Shisui muttered under his breath, seeing an empty backyard and…a back door that was swung open. “Sasuke!” He clenched a fist, “That annoying little brat!”

Shisui grabbed his shoes and the house keys before running out the back door and closing it behind him.

“Sasuke!” He shouted, walking through the allies and looking at the small parks nearby. Though the kid seemed to be gone. The anger turned into worry. What if the kid got grabbed by some weird perv?! Was math homework really worth his life?! For fuck’s sake, the kid was five, he must be scared and hungry…okay probably not hungry, but scared for sure!

“Say backpack, backpack, backpack!”

Shisui’s eyes widened and he turned his head to the left, seeing a familiar ninja turtle backpack and a dinosaur plushie. Sasuke sat on his knees in the grass and grabbed his backpack and grabbing what seemed like a bandaid. He unwrapped it and put it on the dinosaur plushie.

“We did it!” He threw his hands in the air and made a mini victorious trumpet sound.

He was playing…Dora the Explorer…no…more like..Sasuke the explorer…

Shisui wanted to smack the brat at least four times, but dealing with a crying kid wouldn’t really make his day easier. He wanted to walk towards him and just take him back home, but seeing him unroll a A4 paper with some stupid map drawn on it was too adorable to stop.

“So we slipped passed the ugly curly sheep-”

A imaginary brick fell on Shisui’s head…yeah…take a wild guess to who the ugly curly sheep was…

“Then we passed the forest of doom, now we have to go pass the rocky path and to the big red chicken!” Sasuke said to the plushie before putting his backpack back on and grabbing Mr.Roary.

In short, he was going to the petting zoo. Shisui sighed, but decided to follow his little brother from the background. Let him have this little adventure of his, it will make him tired and force him to take a nap. It would only be less trouble for the older Uchiha.

He silently walked behind Sasuke until he heard somebody call his name. He turned his head and saw the neighbour.

“How have you been?” She asked in a friendly way.

“Ah! Hey! Yea, I am doing fine”

“Good kid” She smiled kindly, “So…what are you doing behind a tree?”

“Uhm…I am watching my little brother, the youngest.” Shisui said and scratched the back of his head nervously. He looked from behind the tree and frowned seeing a man kneeling next to him, holding a lollipop.

“You want the candy?”

“I am not supposed to talk to strangers” Sasuke answered, looking at his map.

“I am no stranger, I am uncle Bob”

“What is a stranger?”

“A stranger is somebody you don’t know, but I am uncle Bob” The stranger said, moving the lollypop a little to catch Sasuke’s attention again.

“But do I know uncle Bob? No…so…you are a stranger to me” Sasuke said, folding his maps.

“You are such a smart kid, I have more candy for you…”

“Hold on…no…no..wait a minute!” Shisui ran towards them and swept Sasuke up, holding him close.

“Yeaaahh~ Shisui!” Sasuke laughed, thinking it was some sort of game.

“Get the fuck away from him!” Shisui shouted, “With your stupid candy! You know schools warn kids for people like you! You…you-”

“Poopie head!”

“Yeah! Poopie head!” Shisui said, pointing an accusing finger. “You should be in jail! Your mother should have had an abortion!”

“Shisui, it is me, uncle Bob! I’ve known you since you were 3 years old”

“Yeah right! I am going to call the police! Child molester! Child molester!”Shisui shouted, catching the attention of some adult that suddenly grabbed the man by his arm.

“Is this man bothering you, son?” One man asked.

“Yes! He tried to lure my baby brother!” Shisui said.

“We will handle him, kiddo” Another man said, folding his arm and narrowing his eyes to this Bob guy.

“Thank you” Shisui said, turning around.

“No, the red big chicken in the other way” Sasuke said, struggling against Shisui’s grip.

“No, we are going home, that is final!” Shisui stated, but got kicked in the stomach, forcing him to let go.

“You are mean!” Sasuke shouted as he landed on the ground and ran away.

“Sasuke! Goddamnit!” Shisui hissed, running after him. Sasuke jumped and climbed in a tree.

“Come immediately down!” Shisui demanded.

“No!” Sasuke said, climbing higher in the tree.

“Sasuke, you will fall!” Shisui shouted, Sasuke ignored him, but just as Shisui predicted, he set his foot on a weak branch and fell down.

“What did I tell you?!” Shisui knelt in front of his younger brother, examining him from top to bottom. Sasuke hugged his knees and started sobbing silently.

“You made yourself cry” Shisui stated, “I told you not to climb it, I told you to play in the backyard, what do you do? THE OPPOSITE!”

“I…I…wanted to…play…” Sasuke sulked, “You never want to play”

“Don’t put this on me, brat!”

“Madara doesn’t play with me, Obito doesn’t…you don’t…mommy keeps niisan away from me and…Izuna is playing with somebody else” Shisui sighed.

“That is not it, Sasuke, see, when you grow up…you have other responsibilities and sometimes…It takes over, look at me, I go to middle school, I have homework which does take priority, but…I am still here chasing you all the way…just to make sure you are safe”

Sasuke looked up, wiping his big tears away.

“Can you walk?” Shisui asked.

“Yes” Sasuke said, “But I still want you to carry me”

Shisui smiled, “Yes, princess” he carried Sasuke on his back.

“Can we still go and see the big red chicken?” Sasuke asked.

“Sure…Dora the Explorer” Shisui responded. It was not far anyway.

“Will you be Boots?”

“Uhm…yeah, whatever”

“You have to wear boots to be Boots”

“Well, I am not wearing boots”

“Then how are you Boots?” Sasuke asked.

“One more comment about boots and I will show you some place where I can shove a boot up”

“…You don’t have to go bananas”

“I will drop you” Shisui commented already annoyed.

OOXOXOXO

“Look, look nissan” Sasuke sat on Itachi’s lap and showed the map he had drawn. “We passed the ugly black curly sheep, then passed the forest of doom and then went on the rocky path to the big red chicken!”

“Ooh, and you drew that yourself?”

“Yes, yes!” Sasuke smiled when Itachi patted his head.

“It must have been quite the adventure, are you now Sasuke the explorer?”

“Yeah!” Sasuke smiled.

“More like Sasuke the troublesome” Shisui muttered, his head leaning on the armrest of the couch. It seemed he was the only one exhausted. The doorbell rang and the three looked at each other.

“I got it, I got it!” Izuna ran towards the door, but was picked up by Fugaku with one arm and thrown over his shoulder. They were goofing around before Fugaku opened the door, there was some talking in the hallway before Fugaku walked back in the living room with a man that seemed very familiar to Shisui.

“Kids, you remember uncle Bob, right?”

“…Fuck no…”

-special thanks to @failureoftheyear for editing-

[theamazinguchihabruhs]

I love it when Naruto gets super sneaky! Especially when he flirts with Sasuke...Oh Sasuke! What was the smoothest line he ever used on you?

There are a few actually.

--------------------------------------

Naruto: “Sasuke, life without you is like a broken pencil.” Sasuke :”Useless?” Naruto//chuckles// :”Pointless.” Sasuke: “Same damn thing. Are you calling me stupid?”

-------------------------------------

Naruto: “I might not be Fred Flintstone, but I can still make the bed rock.”Sasuke: “How are you Fred Flintstone while you are clearly Barney Rubble. You both are blond, stupid.” Naruto: “Fine! You rock the bed! Dattebayo” 

----------------------------------------------------------

Naruto//screaming in front of the window//: “Are you google? Because you have everything I am searching for.” Itachi//Turns sprinklers on//:”Apparently you aren’t searching for a brain.” Sasuke//puts earbuds out//:”Niisan, is somebody in front of the door? Why are you smiling so evilly in front of the window?” Itachi : “Nothing,otouto.”

---------------------------------------------

Naruto: “Oi Sasuke, do you have a bandage. I injured my elbow, falling for you.” Sasuke:”So now it is suddenly my fault you injured yourself. Fuck you! Get your own bandage or go to the fucking’s nurse office.” Naruto: “No Sasuke, that is not what I meant..Sasukeehhh~”

-----------------------------------------------------------

Naruto:”Sasuke your hand looks heavy, let me hold it for you.” Sasuke//looks at his hand//:”Are you...Are you calling my hand obese?”

---------------------------------------Naruto: “Hey Sasuke, are you wifi because we have a co-” Sasuke//using his phone//: “It buffers..Ugh..Fucking school wifi.” Naruto: “........Uhu...” 

-----------------------------------------------

Naruto:”nice pants Sasuke, can I test the zipper?” Sasuke//frowns//:”These are jogging pants.” Naruto:”Then let me check the band!” 

--------------------------------------------------

Naruto: “Sasuke, you are so sweet. You are giving me cavities.” Sasuke:”Stop blaming me for your little problems. That is all they are. Your problems!” 

----------------------

Naruto:”Hey Sasuke, what’s your sine. You must be pi/2 because you are the one.” Sasuke//messages temples//:”You are giving me migraine.” Naruto//mutters//:”What was I thinking using maths..There was no way he would have understood anyway. Dattebayo.” 

-------------------------------------

Naruto:”Sasuke...I sometimes can’t believe how ignorant you are. Dattebayo.”Sasuke//inhales//: “Naruto.” Sasuke//picks up books//:”You are like a dwarf star. Extremely hot, but not the brightest.” Sasuke//smiles and walks away//: “Later, Naruto.”Naruto//gasps//:”Was that a pick-up line...Sasuke? Sasukeeehh~”

[theamazinguchihabruhs]

Hi Sasuke, do you think Itachi and Suké will, or should, get married?

Sasuke:"I like Suké."Sasuke//huge Itachi//:"I don’t want niisan to be his because he is mine. "Sasuke//looks up at Itachi//:"I am your favourite human right, niisan?"Itachi//pats Sasuke//:"No matter what happens. I will love you forever."Sasuke//hold up sheet of paper//:"Good! So I need you to sign this because I have a 32% on my maths test. But you still love me right?"Itachi//glares//:"You used me....."

[theamazinguchihabruhs]

Omg haha, go and comfort your niisan!

Sasuke//glaring at Shisui//:”You are messing with the wrong hoe.” Shisui//awkwardly looks at Sasuke//:”Are you referring to yourself?” Sasuke//stands up//:” Yes I am! And I am going to get my precious niisan back!” Shisui//frowns and sees Sasuke’s hand reach for the vase//:”Sasuke...Sasuke no..Sasuke no!” Sasuke//breaks vase//:”Oh noooo~ I feel like such useless little scumbag. I think I am going to cry.” Itachi//Head up//:”No! No! Is Sasuke crying?! My baby! I hated that vase anyway! It is alright!” Shisui:”Hey I bought that vase! Come on! There aren’t even tears in his eyes!” Sasuke/grabs bottle of water and throw water on his face// :”I AM CRYING!”Itachi//hold Sasuke tightly against him// :”Let it all out, otouto. Niisan is here for you.” Itachi/kisses Sauske’s cheek//:”Why are you tears not salty?” Shisui: “Why do you know how tears taste like?” Sasuke:”Because I use all the salt in my body for my behavior.” Itachi :”Aaaah makes sense!” Shisui//cocks head// :”How did you get through med school...”