#save me butterfly weed. butterfly weed save me

[moldwood]

it being 75F in march and receiving the stupidest news about an old somebodys thoughts has me lighting a cigarette on the back porch and lookin out at the woods. its just factually incorrect is all

[gold-dustwomxn]

mystified

part 4

summary: after sudden attacks on women around town, you take a self defense class. ellie, your long standing crush is the instructor

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

cw: violence, alcohol consumption, smoking weed, smut mdni!!!!

oral (e receiving), strap (r receiving)

angst fluff and smut

a loud chiming paired with vibrations has you jumping up, hand pressed flat against your racing heart. your rude alarm blares into your ear as you groan into your pillow. shit never fails to scare you half to death time every single time. as you lay in your bed and wipe away the sleep from your eyes, your mind floods with ellie ellie ellie. you’ve been with her practically everyday and you can’t seem to get enough of her. she’s the first thing on your mind when you wake up, and the last thing on your mind before you fall asleep.

ellie🌿🗡️: Morning babe. I hope you have a good day. Try to pay attention in class instead of texting me. I’ll see you later🖤

me: good morninggg💗 i’ll try my best for u 🫡 try not to get injured at work again

you giggle and feel those butterflies in your stomach again. it’s pathetic how giddy she makes you feel from a simple text.

dina🤍: are u and ellie coming to the party tonight? istg if u say no

me: uggh idk. u know I hate those college parties

dina🤍: cmonnn u guys never come out. youve both been holed up in a lesbian fuck fest for like 2 weeks straight

me: LMAO stfu. fine I’ll ask ellie if she wants to go

ellie grudgingly agrees to go to said party for your sake, and because she’s been neglecting her friendship with jesse just a little bit— too preoccupied with wanting to spend as much time as possible with you, and you her.

she decides she’ll stay sober for the night so she can drive and keep an eye on you. as you walk into the party hand in hand, you’re flooded with an overwhelming stench of alcohol and weed, strobing lights and music so loud that you feel the bass thumping in your chest. it’s too fucking crowded and hot. you need a drink to loosen up.

“well, well, well, would you look at who the cat dragged in.” jesse smirks at the two of you, receiving a double eye roll from both you and ellie. “who the fuck speaks like that anymore jesse?” ellie says with a laugh. “just good to see you alive in the flesh and all.” dina giggles and attacks you with a warm hug.

she steals your attention away from ellie, fiddling with your shirt with a goofy smirk. you laugh and narrow your eyes, “what is it?” dina leans in closer to whisper, “so, what’s the deal with you two.. are you official yet?”

you look at ellie to make sure she isn’t watching and whisper, “no, we haven’t.. labeled anything? I don’t know.. I mean, I do wanna make it official, but I don’t wanna scare her away, you know? kinda just letting it play out and see what happens.”

she looks at you, unamused. “stop being a pussy, you guys have been in love with each other for years. It’s not like she’s some random girl that you just met.” you roll your eyes, “relaxxx, it’ll happen when it happens.” dina laughs and shakes her head, “whatever you say. I need another drink.”

as she walks over to mix a gross concoction of god knows what, your eyes drift back to ellie who is preoccupied, deep in conversation with jesse. your eyes wander over every inch of her, biting your lip. her muscles are pulled taut against her flannel, jeans tight around her thighs, intoxicating green eyes glowing from the flashing lights in the room. one drink has you so fucking horny, it’s ridiculous.

ellie catches you staring and raises an eyebrow, “you good, babe?” she chuckles. you look away, trying to save face. “yup, I’m feeling good. can you come with me to the bathroom?” she nods with no hesitation, innocently thinking that you just want her to stick close by.

as soon as the door closes, you pull her tightly against you by the loopholes of her jeans and slam your lips into hers. she freezes for a moment, caught off guard, but quickly catches up, slipping her tongue into your mouth with a groan and sliding her hands down to squeeze your ass.

she then tugs at your hair, pulling your head back, breathless and takes a look at your glossy eyes, and down at your swollen lips. “what do you think you’re doing, huh?” she rasps out, smirking. you lean in, placing wet, needy kisses on her neck, pawing and squeezing at her biceps, “I wanna go down on you so bad right now.” you practically whine in her ear.

she chuckles, “right now? in here?” she looks around the bathroom, scrunching up her face. “we’ve been here for like a half hour, babe.”

you cup her through her jeans, watching her breath get heavy, “c’mon, don’t you wanna feel my mouth on you?” you pout.

she removes your hand and pulls you tight against her, brushing your hair to the side, placing a kiss on your neck. you whimper as she licks a slow stripe up to the sweet spot behind you ear, giving it a small suck.

“you’re gonna be a good girl for me and wait until later.” she whispers into the shell of your ear, making you shudder. you mentally curse her for having more self control than you, while ellie mentally curses herself because she’s horny as fuck now, but loves teasing you. “ugh, fine, ellie.” she chuckles and pats your cheek, leaning in to give you one more lingering kiss.

dina being dina convinces you to take multiple shots of tequila with her while ellie stands with jesse watching the both of you dance, laughing in amusement at the two of you.

as the night goes on, you start to stumble. ellie grabs onto you, “hey, baby, I think it’s time you lay off the drinks now, huh?” she chuckles at you. you wrap your arms around her neck and nod, “mhmm, I’m getting tired. can we leave soon?” you slur out. she nods, wrapping her arms around your waist, “yeah, we can go now.”

after you say your goodbyes to dina and jesse, you walk behind ellie, trying to make your way through the sea of bodies to head out.

all of a sudden, you feel a hand squeeze your ass and you gasp, stumbling into ellie. you turn around and see a guy grinning, reeking of booze. “don’t fucking touch me!”

ellie turns around and takes in the scene, her face morphing into one of rage. she places you behind her and shoves him hard against his chest. “back the fuck up,” she grits out.

he laughs mockingly. “oh, what, is this your bitch?” time seems to stop for a moment, a chill traveling down your spine as you watch her face drop, making you suddenly feel stone cold sober.

ellie punches him square in the face, making him stumble back. people begin to move out the way, circling them, whooping and hollering as if it’s a fucking show.

he lunges at her, trying to hit back. she catches his wrist and twists his arm, as she elbows him in the face, making him fall down and grab his now seemingly broken nose.

your jaw drops as you watch ellie climb on top of him, knee to his chest as she throws punch after punch. “ellie! stop!” she doesn’t hear you, doesn’t even seem to be present in her own body.

jesse hears the commotion and runs into the room. he grabs ellie, trying to pull her off of him “ellie, stop! you got him! you’re gonna get arrested if you don’t stop!”

ellie stands up, chest heaving as she flexes and shakes out her aching hand, knuckles bloody. she looks at you, her gaze softening with guilt as she takes in your upset demeanor.

you look around at all of the people staring, and grab ellie’s arm. “c’mon, we’re leaving. now.” she looks at you as you swiftly walk ahead of her to her car. “I’m sorry-“

you cut her off, “ellie, what the fuck?! you can’t just go around beating the shit out of people like that.”

she huffs and throws her arms up in the air defensively, looking as if she was about to speak, but stops herself.

“you looked like you were gonna kill him.”

she scoffs “I wasn’t gonna kill him.” you turn to look at her, “well, if jesse hadn’t been able to stop you, who knows what would’ve happened.”

she looks down at her tattoo and rubs the skin, “guys like him need to learn that they can’t get away with shit like that! and... and seeing him look so fucking proud of himself… looking at you like you were a piece of fucking meat.”

you observe her digging her nails into her tattoo and realize where her mind is drifting off to. you stop walking and grab her face, speaking softly. “look at me. I’m safe and you’re safe. I understand that you wanna protect me, but you can’t lose it like that, okay? you need to learn to walk away unless it’s absolutely necessary. I don’t want you getting into trouble.”

she looks between your eyes and nods, grabbing gently onto one of your wrists. “okay. I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“It’s over now. everything’s okay.” you nod at her slowly and lean in to peck her lips. “c’mon, let’s go back to your place so I can clean you up.”

“you don’t have to-“ you cut her off with a semi-serious glare and she nods.

on the drive home, she rubs your thigh softly and takes small glances at you. she chews on her bottom lip anxiously, thinking about how you’re able to ground her. her chest tightens with shame— you shouldn’t have to deal with her issues.

ellie stands between your legs as you sit on top of the sink, cleaning her knuckles gently with deep concentration. she watches you and thinks about how she’s falling for you, hard. she’s never felt this way about someone before and she’d be lying if she said it didn’t scare her a little. her thoughts are interrupted as you finish and kiss the inside of her wrist. she gives you a soft smile when you look up at her and leans in to kiss you, “thanks, babe.”

ellie plucks away at her guitar as she smokes a joint while you lay there sipping on water and watch her in comfortable silence. unbeknownst to you, her mind races, picturing the look on your face after she basically bashed that guys face in.

she doesn’t think she deserves someone good and sweet like you. the idea of letting you go fucking crushes her, but it’s better to let you decide if you wanna end things now before the two of you get more serious, as if you’re both not in deep already.

she takes a hit of her joint and places her guitar to the side, laying a shaky palm on your thigh. “hey... I’m sorry about earlier.” you shake your head, “it’s okay, I promise. I’m not upset anymore.”

she looks down for a moment before looking back at you, “it’s just... you don’t deserve to have to deal with my bullshit. I understand if you don’t wanna… do this anymore.” she gestures between the two of you and fidgets nervously with her fingers.

you sit up quickly and grab her hand, stroking her knuckles. “is that what you want?” she looks at your teary eyes and shakes her head immediately. “no, no, it’s not what I want. but I want you to do what’s best for you.”

“ellie, I really like you. I’m not afraid of baggage, you don’t have to push me away.”

she looks at you, unconvinced. “I’m a fucking mess, ___. I don’t know if you’ve picked up on it yet, but I’m not the easiest person to be around sometimes.”

“and you know what’s best for me?”

“no, I’m not saying that. I just-” she throws her hands up, trying to figure out how to convey what she’s feeling.

“you’re not some broken, cold hearted person, ellie. I can decide for myself what’s good for me. you’re good for me.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” she whispers, eyes tearing up.

you inch closer to her on your hands and knees and give her a soft, lingering kiss.

“then, don’t.” you whisper against her lips and pull back.

she looks back at you in silence for a few moments in a daze, completely enamored with you.

you give her a teary smile and let your words settle in for her, “plus, it’s kinda hot seeing you like that. you still haven’t taught me more self defense moves like you said you would, you know.” you laugh trying to make her feel better. she lets out a weak chuckle and shakes her head.

“no, but seriously,” you place your palm on her cheek to keep eye contact, making sure she takes in your sincerity, “I lo- like you.. a lot and I wanna be with you, okay? we all have our issues. you’ll have to stick around if you wanna see mine,” you smile. ellie’s ears perk up, wondering if she was just imagining that you almost said you love her. she chuckles and nods, “okay,” she whispers, “so does this mean you wanna be my girlfriend then?”

you look at her in mock offense, “is that how you’re gonna ask me?”

she laughs, “okay, okay.” she clears her throat and straightens out her back. “___, would you like to be my girlfriend?”

you can’t help but laugh at her attempt to be serious. “yeah, I’ll be your girl.”

she gives you a wide grin and cups your face, giving you a passionate kiss.

you both pull away breathless. “you know.. I think we should consummate this relationship.”

she laughs and raises an eyebrow, “oh yeah? and how’s that?”

“well.. for one, I didn’t get to do what I wanted to earlier.”

“mhmm, you are right about that. go ahead baby.”

as ellie lays on her back, you kiss along her stomach down her v-line to her inner thighs, each kiss making her muscles tense up.

“c’mon, enough teasing.” she huffs, breath heavy with glossy eyes.

you shake your head in defiance and she grabs onto your jaw. “be good.” she says sternly, but strokes your cheek gently with her thumb.

she watches you lick a stripe up her wet folds and her eyes roll back, letting out a shaky breath.

“s-stick your tongue out, baby.”

you flatten your tongue and she takes a fistful of your hair, slowly bucking her hips against your face. “jesus.. fuck. love your fucking mouth so much.”

looking up at her with doe eyes, you moan, and she grunts, “s-so perfect for me. making me feel so good, baby.”

you bob your head up and down with her thrusts, and suck hard on her clit, making her whimper unwillingly. “oh fuuuuck. good fucking girl, don’t stop.”

she grips your hair tighter and grinds faster against your face, head falling back into the pillows and swallowing hard. “gonna cum.. fuck!”

finally her body seizes up, her hole clenching around your tongue as her arousal seeps into your mouth. “holy fuck.” she breathes out shakily. “fuckin-“ she grunts, “swallow all of it.” she holds your head in place, rocking slowly as you happily lap up every inch of her cum. “yeah.. good girl.” you pull back and brush your fingers over her thighs with a love drunk smile.

she pants and looks down at you with furrowed brows, swiping her thumb across your glossy lips, spreading around her slick and your saliva before sticking her thumb into your mouth. you suck on it and she closes her eyes, sighing.

you climb on top of her, kissing her deeply, both of you moaning into the kiss. “wait,” she pulls back.

“what?” you whine at the loss of her lips against yours.

she chuckles and sits up, opening her nightstand drawer and pulls out a box. “how would you feel if I used this on you?”

you examine the unopened box and your eyes widen when you see what’s inside, making your thighs squeeze together. “yeah-yes.” you stutter.

she laughs and traps you with her legs to flip you on your back, “yes, what?”

you yelp and giggle, “you can use it on me.” she grins and leans in to kiss you.

after ellie coaxes multiple orgasms out of you with her mouth and fingers, she gets up to grab the strap, adjusting the harness around her. “okay, you sure you want it?”

you swallow hard in nervousness and excitement. “y-yeah I want it. just go slow.”

she leans down and gives you a soft kiss. “of course, baby.”

ellie lubes up the dildo and strokes the shaft before settling between your shaky legs, giving them small kisses. “you nervous?” you nod, “mhm, a little.”

she caresses your thighs and gives them gentle squeezes, “it’s okay, I’ll be gentle and if you want me to stop just tell me, okay?” you nod, “okay.”

as she slides the strap up and down your folds, you let out a whimper and spread your legs further apart. she has to bite down hard on her lip to hold back a moan.

“you ready?”

“yeah,” your breath gets heavier in anticipation.

she slowly inches her way in while rubbing small circles on your clit, eyes focused on your face. when your eyes start to tear up, she leans down and peppers soft kisses all over your face. “you’re doing so good for me, baby.”

as she bottoms out, you both moan in unison. “you okay?”

“y-yes, you can move.”

ellie starts out with a slow pace, rolling her hips into you, gradually going deeper and harder with each thrust. she feels her own arousal pooling as she watches your face twist in pleasure and the view of your cunt sucking her in.

“fuck, ellie, g-go faster please,” you moan out. ellie smirks at your words, "my pleasure, sweet girl."

she wraps your legs around her waist and starts to increase the pace and vigor of her thrusts, pounding into you hard and fast. you can feel every inch of her as she slides in and out of you, filling you up with such intensity that has you moaning uncontrollably. she groans “you look so fucking good like this,” leaning down to kiss you messily, panting into each other mouths.

she watches you with heavy lids, drunk off of the sounds of your moans and the wet sounds of your cunt. “feels good, pretty girl?”

“mmph. so good, ellie. so good.”

as she starts to increase her pace even more, you grip onto her shoulders tightly, pulling her chest to yours, sinking your nails into her skin.

“taking me s-so fucking well baby, knew you could do it.” she feels herself getting lost in her own pleasure as the base of the strap bumps against her clit just right.

your body starts to tremble against hers, with ellie having to work harder to thrust in and out of you, your moans turning into high-pitched whimpers, and she knows you’re close.

“el-ellie! fuck, I’m gonna-” she holds onto you tightly and watches you as you slip into ecstasy, and can’t help but moan herself. she thinks you’re absolutely breathtaking like this. and that view alone is enough to make her eyes roll back, triggering her own orgasm. her hips sputter as she slaps into you, leaning down to kiss you sloppily.

she lifts her head and lets out ragged breaths, her eyes glazed over, “you did so good for me, baby.” she kisses your forehead gently.

leaning on her elbows, she stares down at you, eyes mapping out every inch of your face, completely infatuated.

“I lo-“ she stops herself, it’s too early to say I love you. or is it? you’ve known each other for years, and she could’ve sworn you almost said it earlier. she decides against it, not wanting to ruin the moment.

you run your hand through her hair and brush your nose against hers, “say it,” you whisper. she looks between your eyes and swallows thickly.

“I love you,” she whispers shakily.

you lift your head, slotting your lips against hers in a slow, passionate kiss.

“I love you, too.”

tysm for reading ily all 💗💗

taglist: @me-and-your-husband @fireflyels @cinnamonmilf

[evolnoomym]

1. This is me trying

Sugar-Daddy!Joel Miller x f!OC

General Masterlist | „Runaway Butterfly 🦋“ Masterlist

Summary: You may have gotten out, but the damage is done. As you look back on the past you take a step forward in the present.

Rating: 18+ explicit content mdni!!!!

Word count: 2k

Warnings: no y/n, f!reader, this is how my first OC Moon got born, childhood abuse, self hatred, alludes to sa & suicide attempt(s), 2 separate instances of underage OC getting taken advantage of, nothing to graphic, Weed consumption, panic attack, OC sexualizes herself, she has tits and ass

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: This is the first chapter of my my first Series, it’s been sitting in my notes basically for about 3 months. (Can we believe I’ve been here for 3 months already 😅) I know it’s rather short but the following chapters will be a lot longer. No Joel except in photos, also the Hawaiian Flannel he wears in one of those is the same as @strang3lov3 owns, hers is inspired by Jim Hopper. Bug was also the one that told me to write, so it’s all thanks to her 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Shoutout to @saradika-graphics & @cafekitsune for the dividers 🫶🏻

Big thank you to for beta reading @fhatbhabiee & @jennaispunk 🦋🦋🦋

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly 👌🏻

Technically you are missing, you didn’t tell them where you’d go, they didn’t even knew you’d go at all. Though, you are sure that they are happy to be ridden of the problem, connecting all of them.

They took your pride, confidence, dignity and hope. They clipped your wings early on so you’d never get away, no chance at getting out of this nightmare. Always destined to be the black sheep, the picture-perfect scapegoat for all of them, and whenever something went wrong you got blamed.

No wonder you started to hate yourself, believing their cruel words. You were never good enough and they made you think it would be better if you would just be gone.

They tore you apart, made you hate the girl in the mirror till you just wanted to give up, they put all the blame on you, they used you as a little girl sized punching bag, they made you believe that everybody grows up that way.

Since both of your parents were equally unstable people, it forced you to grow up quickly, so you could take care of them. Never would you know who that real version of yourself could’ve been, without all the trauma, a loss to carry forever.

How should you have known that what happened was wrong, if you never knew anything else. You thought the violence and the loneliness was part of being a little girl.

With time you became something akin to a shapeshifter, trying to be whatever it took to fulfill their desires, if it meant to be loved. Even just the tiniest amount of recognition, was worth giving yourself up.

But those closest betrayed you. Turns out it was all for nothing at all. All the sacrifices you made were so entirely useless, breaking yourself down to become the version they might’ve liked best, trying fit the shape of their choice and satisfy their deranged ego’s.

You scraped together any amount of savings you still had and sold everything you owned that was worth anything. Your Dad and Grandma gave you some money and that was it.

They had pushed you so far, you felt the need to flee to an entirely different continent, almost a 15 hour fly and 525 miles away from what was supposed to be home, that’s what it took to get some semblance of freedom and peace. Austin became your home, it was a fresh start and that’s exactly what was needed.

To much happened, to many unforgivable occurrences. You couldn’t ever heal in the place they broke you in, surrounded by abusers. They might have forgotten, painted an entirely new picture of the truth for themselves, but you’ll always remember what really went down.

You could still vividly remember your brother’s frantic calls once he realized you were gone. He couldn’t believe you’d really go through on that childish silly dream, he always laughed at you for saying, you’d just pack up one day and leave everything behind.

Guess he’s not laughing anymore.

After countless attempts you finally gave in and picked up, only to met by loud thundering voices yelling at you. It was all about how insane you must be, so incredibly selfish, overly dramatic, over-emotional and weak for simply running away.

A coward.

As always it’s just about them, their feelings and what would be best for them. No care for what you’d want and what the best for you could be.

You tolerated more than anyone else would’ve, before ending the call. It was just an accumulation of empty threats, supposed to put you back in line, but it did the opposite. That phone call was the last time you’d speak to them.

8 months have passed since leaving, its now May and here you sit lounging in the living room of your tiny two-room flat. The soft, grey, cloud-like couch was one of your best investments, making it your second favorite place besides your bed.

Its Friday. The clock shows that it’s close to 6 pm, the early-evening breeze flows in through the open balcony and alongside the bustling noises of the streets outside. Cars honking, tires screeching, kids yelling, people laughing and birds chirping, all of it reminds of the overwhelming world waiting outside of your safe bubble.

You just pulled out your rolling tray, trying to quiet your mind, you’ve barely finished licking the paper. When your phone suddenly goes *ping* *ping*, a sound you haven’t heard before.

Normally that might make you anxious but today you are just annoyed by any sort of interruption to your routine.

„Ughhh.”

You begrudgingly get up to retrieve your phone from the kitchen counter. When you reach it and take a look at the screen you immediately understand what caused the strange sound.

A notification for the Sugar-Daddy website you had started using earlier this week. You have tried those odd websites before, at 16 thinking it would be a good idea. Back then you were already after the attention of a mature, wealthy and significantly older Men.

Looking back you always had a weird infatuation with men outside your age range.

Your first kiss happened, when you were 13 and still played with dolls. He was 21 and had just gotten his drivers license, already moved out and had a job. He took you on a walk, then sat down on an old park bench and just kissed you which felt like heaven,at the time. He was your Bestfriend’s older brother who knew exactly how madly in love you were with him.

Two years later, at 15, you thought that 25 year old police apprentice was seriously interested in you, convinced he’d make you his. But, no, he wanted to fuck a minor, he was after the thrill of something tight and young, to be the first to break you in and then throw you away once you served your purpose.

Even though you were foolish and naive, the perfect opportunity for him to use, it seemed your desperate want for genuine love chased him away before he could go in for the kill.

In those instances you were lucky that nothin worse happened, but at 17 the luck had run out or maybe what happened is what you get for making the mistake of trusting.

It was the friendly guy in your semester group, the one who was troubled himself but made you feel like it’s okay, he seemed to understand you. He became a good friend, he made you feel less alone and in the end he became the biggest nightmare.

Your trust was already broken and played with many times before him, but what he did was one too much. He changed the way you viewed the world, the way you lived.

You were deeply afraid of ever running in to him again, and when it happened you could practically feel the world stop spinning.

It was just a worst case scenario that never came true until it did. You remember that day like it was yesterday, it was supposed to be a quiet run to the grocery store, shopping with a friend. Standing in the bread aisle, you were waiting beside the cart for your friend to make her decision. You just stared down at the ground for a split second before looking back up and there he was. Staring at you with this awful smile of his. Ringing in your ears, shivers running down your spine and shaking hands were all you needed to know that getting out of there was more than necessary.

As you stood at the cash register the thought that it might not have been him weaseled itself into your head. The hope that it might’ve been just some mix-up got crushed when a voice behind you spoke up. That voice, the way he talks, you would recognize it anywhere. He was right there, the monster who looked so nice in the beginning was just a couple inches away. You could practically feel him breathe down your neck, just like he did that night. Keeping your composure was the biggest challenge.

Afterwards on the way home, in your friends car you broke down, never ever would you want him that close again. He contributed to you wanting to get away.

Now at 21, even after everything that happened, you thought about giving the Sugar-Daddy thing one last chance. The money would be nice, of course it would, living free without having to worry, having someone who takes care of you and you get to just enjoy living, is the dream.

You wanted to experience that, so the Profil was created, a few pictures were added showing your face, one displayed a peak of cleavage and another with focus on your backside, wearing tight pants that accentuate your plush ass all while you are just sweetly gazing over your shoulder.

Those photos were choosen with good reasoning, you believed that showing skin would attract more attention from the Sugar-Daddy’s.

A classmate once told you „You know...the only fuckable thing about you is that set of tits and that ass. Nothin else, well except maybe ur mouth,“ all while smugly laughing.

And he wasn’t the only one who said shit like that, so you believed it, showin off the assets it was and it worked but none of these man were really what you were looking for.

After 2 days of being flooded with messages, little to nothing came through anymore which you were a bit happy about, since the overwhelming attention was too much too quickly.

You are a recluse, three friends that’s all you got, two of them not even living in Austin. A lot of times you just want to be alone with yourself. Branching out like 6 years ago is not your style anymore and you started to regret putting yourself out there like this. You would’ve probably deleted the profile if it wasn’t for the awfully handsome Man who apparently took a look at your profile which caused the whole strange notification-sound.

You could only see his name “Joel Miller” but that was enough to peak your interest.

You take your phone, walk back to the couch and sit down. You scutch backwards till you can feel the pillow at your back to lean against. You open his profile and your mouth goes dry instantly. He looks to be about 40 ish, his brown-grey streaked locks are neatly styled, a well groomed beard adorned his face and those grey patches certainly made you squirm in place.

They showed his age and that is what turned you on. His amber brown orbs were quickly pulling you in. In some of his photos he wore expensive lookin suits, all highly professional. In others he looked more casual, wearing flannels and even a cute hawaiian shirt in a picture that must’ve been taken on a beach.

He looked big, 6ft3 tall, tan skin, with broad shoulders, biceps that could crush you and his hands, oh they are a sight to behold, you thought of what he could possibly to with them. How would they feel on your body, holding your hand, caressing your face, stroking your head or squeezing your waist.

You feel your cheeks get warm, heart rate picking up and there is a tremble in your breathing, all because of him.

You can already imagine how much power he would have over you with his entire body, you want that.

With all the gawking and fanning you lost track of the time, 45 minutes where spend looking at him, that realization made you feel a bit embarrassed but it turned into shock when the *Ping* *Ping* sound of again, this time with a notification that read ”Congratulations, The verified Sugar-Daddy has sent you a message don’t let him wait to long, swipe here to answer,“ and then his name ”...Joel Miller“.

Maybe he would be different to those before him, maybe you got your luck back and so you decided swipe.

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

People I think might be interested: @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @joelmillerisapunk @joelslegalwhre @punkshort @burntheedges @almostfoxglove @taeslarityy @joelsdagger @littlemisspascal

Taglist 🦋: @joelalorian @msjarvis @stevie75 @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 @beefrobeefcal @baronessvonglitter @sherala007 @moonlitbirdie @thundermartini @sjc7542

Please let me know if you want to be added to the taglist or taken off 🫶🏻

[toxicanonymity]

Late Night Dip 💦

2300 words, night walks!Joel x f!reader

thank you for the mood board @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

SUMMARY: Not much plot as usual. You go to the neighborhood pool after hours. Joel joins you for a late night dip and more of what you can't get enough of. A/N: CAN READ ALONE, but it’s in night walks (AU) with their dynamic established. Maybe a good chance to dip your feet. WARNINGS: I8+ mdni public, outdoor, oral f receiving, unsafe P in V in the pool, creampie / coming inside, kinda aggressive joel (to your delight), drugs (weed), references to stalking. PWP

Late one night, you text Joel to let him know you're going to take a dip. He had suggested a swim before but you hadn't taken him up on it yet. You don't exactly invite him, but his house is close to the pool and you imagine he'll show up.  He texts back, “bet you’re gonna get real wet.”

It’s after closing so the whole property is dark except for one dim, flickering light by the tennis courts, and the moonlight.  When you get to the pool, you reach over the fence to unlock it from the inside.  Some leaves are congregating in the water at the shallow end. You carefully grab the net off the fence and fish them out. It's gratifying seeing the water clear. You dump the leaves over the fence without banging it on the fence, then hang the net back up. You dip your toe and the water is a little more chilly than you expect, but not awful.  You sit down on a lounge chair, not ready to get in. You check your phone and Joel hasn't said anything else. 

Before taking your cover-up off. You unwedge your swimsuit and your hand lingers in the crotch of your bottoms. Are you as wet as you feel? You dip your finger into the pool between your legs. Yeah.

Joel's disembodied voice says, "Mm. Already?" You turn around as he emerges from the woods. "Save some for me."

"Jesus. What are you doing back there?"

"like seein' ya get all horny for me." He probably cut through from his house.  But he’s so . . . .stealthy.  He just has that air about him.  He’s like a cat, prowling around. 

"Joel," you sigh and roll your eyes. 

He lowers his voice, "say it again, baby" as he scales the fence. 

He sits down on the pool chair next to you.  He faces you and leans forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped. “waitin’ for me to get in?” He has a joint behind his ear.

You think out loud, "how many times have you spied on me?"

He smiles to himself and reaches for your thigh.  You get butterflies at the contact.  He slowly caresses your leg, shakes his head and says, "however many gets you off, pumpkin’.” Then he teases, “Don’t bother ya, huh?” He winks and gives your thigh a squeeze.  “Gets ya hot and bothered.” 

Your face burns and he looks pleased with himself when you change the subject. “Water’s chilly.”

Joel takes off his shirt, revealing the long necklace he was wearing when you saw him out before with the blazer and low cut shirt.  You wonder if he went out tonight. 

“C’mon.  I’ll keep ya warm.”

He stands up and his crotch is at eye level.  His swimsuit is mint green, mid-thigh.  It looks good on him.  He’s barely hard if at all.  Why are you insulted? He’s been there all of five seconds.  He reaches in his pocket and takes out his phone and a lighter.  He puts the phone down on his shirt, along with his chain. He sits on the side of the pool and puts down the lighter and joint.  Dozens of back and shoulder muscles all engage as he eases himself into the pool, and god his back looks nice. You have to imagine it looks even nicer when he’s fucking you.  

—--

Once he’s standing, he turns around and rests his forearms on the edge. He sticks the joint in his mouth and blocks it from any light breeze as he lights it. You take your cover-up off, but still don’t make a move to get in.  He tilts his head and checks you out, then exhales. He nods his head back toward the pool invitingly. “C’mon, sugar. Ain't that cold.” It's not, really. The profile of his messy hair and strong shoulders does something to you.  

You stand up and adjust your top. 

He raises his eyebrows at you, then mutters with a straight face, “Why bother.” 

“Why bother. . .” you repeat contemplatively as you sit down at the edge of the pool.  You wince as you put your feet in.  Joel immediately nudges your knees open and puts himself between them, still holding the joint. Your feet graze his swimsuit.  He takes a small puff and puts it aside on the cement. He reaches one hand up to touch your neck, running his fingers over the halter tie of your bikini top as he holds the smoke in his mouth. Then he slides his hand up to your head, looks at you darkly, and gets on his toes.  You dip your head toward him as he exhales into your open mouth. 

As you accept his breath, he pulls the string to untie your top. Your hands reflexively go to catch your swimsuit against both breasts and you narrowly avoid choking. Meanwhile, he pulls the string on your back.

You’re too busy finishing your inhale to say anything.  Your hands hold the dangling swimsuit to your chest.

Joel pulls back and looks you in the eye.  He reaches for your cleavage and forcefully yanks the strap between the cups, taking the swimsuit out from under your hands and tossing it aside. You turn your head and cough, then say, “What are you–” 

“Shhhh.” Your hands are still over your breasts. His hands rest atop your thighs.  You look down and watch his strong, masculine hands run up your thighs to your hips. He grabs your ass and nudges you closer to the edge. “C’mon.” 

“It’s too cold.” 

“not to get in.” He eyes your swimsuit bottoms.  You scoot forward a little, and his broad torso keeps your thighs spread wide as you get closer.  “Good girl,” he murmurs to your crotch. You feel exposed with your legs open outdoors, but it’s not like he hasn’t been between them plenty of times. 

He doesn’t waste any time. He sinks down into the pool so his head is at cunt-level and plants his mouth right above the crotch of your swimsuit. He kneads your ass and presses his lips into your clothed mound, moving his lips slow but hard. There’s something really hot about him from this angle.  His head between your legs, shoulder muscles flexing in the moonlight. He pushes his tongue against the fabric and devours you through the swimsuit. His head moves between your legs.   Suddenly the cool air is on your ass. He’s untied your suit. 

You finally let go of your breasts, resting your hands behind you. He moans into the front of your swimsuit, and his tongue pushes it aside.  Then pulls it down gently with his teeth as his hands grab your ass.  His lips latch onto your clit and he gives it a kiss, looking up at you.  Then he pulls his head back and thumbs your folds.  He gives a low whistle at how wet you are. “God damn.” He returns his head to your cunt.  He licks between your entrance and your clit, then sucks.  You finger his fluffy hair and he moans into you as he sucks and laps, then pries his head away and looks at you darkly. 

—-

You sit up straighter and his mouth goes to your bare breast.  He sucks your nipple and thumbs your clit. Then he releases your breast with a, “fuuck.”  He looks back and forth between your breasts and sighs with a pained look on his face.  Then one of his hands goes between his legs and that arm is slowly moving as he sucks your other tit.  When he pulls his head back again, his voice is low and hungry. “Get in.”  The look on his face makes you wonder how urgently he needs you and what he’ll do if you drag your feet. 

“It’s too cold,” you say. It's not really--your feet are warm now that you've adjusted. You can feel how warm he is, too.

One corner of his mouth curls up, then his face darkens. “C’mon, baby.” He palms himself. “Know you want this cock.” 

You sigh. “So why don’t you get out and give it to me?” 

He wraps his arms around you and buries his face in your chest. His scruff scratches your breast as he commands into your skin, “get the fuck in here.” His arms tighten around you and he pulls you into the pool, leaving your swimsuit behind. Your legs wrap around his waist as he falls back with you. He holds you by the ass and helps gravity pull you down against him so you feel him rock-hard through his swimsuit.  He sighs "yeah," and you whimper at the contact.  He moves you by your ass and grinds your front against his hardness and you take a deep breath. Your nipples are hard. He’s keeping you warm, just like he said. You don’t even care that you’re completely nude in the neighborhood pool. 

You’re in the middle of the 4’ section, aching for him to be in you.  Your arms are resting on his shoulders with your wrists crossed behind his neck.  He reaches between you and urgently tugs down his waistband. You look down into the water as he holds his cock straight and guides you by the ass, covering his tip with your cunt, nestling himself for entry.  He pushes his tip inside, and pulls you down hard on his cock, parting your walls in one go and bottoming out with a grunt.  He sighs “fuck yeah,” tilts his pelvis back, removing half his length, then closes his eyes with a twitch of his perfect nose.  He meets you with a sharp thrust as he pulls you down even harder and sighs. 

His voice is hushed.  “Been wantin’ it all week, right?” His mouth hangs open as he wraps his arms around you and manhandles you on his cock.  He snarls and sighs.  He breathes heavily, moving you up and down. “Yeahh.  He takes a deep breath and reads your face, sheathing himself inside you as he wets his lips.  Then his lips latch onto yours. He feeds you his tongue in rhythm with his cock.  He moans into your mouth and slowly moves his lips with yours as he fucks himself with your body.  You help with your legs pulling you onto his cock in his rhythm. You break the kiss with a moan. As many times as you’ve had it now, it still gives you butterflies all over, the way he fills you up. 

Still sheathed in your warmth, begins to slowly make his way back toward the wall.  When he gets there, he puts his arm behind you, protecting you from the ledge. He bounces you on his cock as he picks up the joint and takes a drag. You latch onto his neck and he exhales “ohhh, baby.”  Then he puts the joint down and backs a foot away from the wall.   He grabs your ass with both hands and breathes “fuck”  as he ups the intensity again. You sigh. 

 “So” He pulls you down, “damn,” thrusting hard, “hot, baby.” He’s hitting your g-spot. “God damn,” he whispers. “God, this ass.” He squeezes the cheeks.

“Fuck, Joel-”

“Turn around for me,” he lifts you off him and turns you around. You grab the ledge of the pool and it’s not even a split-second before he shoves into you from the back with a grunt and thank God you're so wet with your own slick. His arm snakes in front of you and he grabs your breast as he stuffs you with his cock.  His lips latch onto the side of your neck and he moans “Mmm” as he kisses then nibbles at your neck. Your core feels dizzy with mounting pleasure, and pressure builds with every thrust. His teeth bear down on your neck and then he sucks gently, then hard.  You wince at the thought of the mark. 

Joel’s mouth breaks away. “Relax,” he murmurs as he buries his length inside you. “God damn.”  He reaches for the joint.  He gropes your breast and fucks you a little slower, pressing his chest all the way up against you as he takes a drag.  He looks at the joint as he exhales, then he reaches around you and brings the joint in front of your lips.  You take a puff. He sets it back down and ups his intensity again. You sigh as you exhale.  He whispers, “hell yeah.” 

He brings one hand to your clit and another to your breast and fondles you as he fucks you harder. You begin to whimper on the edge of bliss and he says, “Yeah, come on this cock, baby.” He works your clit and bottoms out with each harsh thrust. “Fuck yeah, c’mon.” Your whole abdomen tightens, then your head falls back as you see stars.  You moan and he palms your breast.  He fucks you through it as you flutter around him. “God, yeah,” he pants, “Oh yeah, fuck—nngg” He groans and slams his cock into you. He begins to pulse, releasing his warm seed.  He hums, “mmm” as he slowly plunges to the hilt a few more times, emptying his balls. Your cunt spasms lighter and you sigh. 

Joel bends his knees and noses your ear.  He wraps you in a hug, still inside you. When he begins to pull out, You tighten your legs on him, trying to keep him. 

Something rustles in the dark.  It’s just a raccoon at the treeline, but you’re suddenly very aware of your full nudity.  You stand upright, letting his cock slide out of you as you push yourself up out of the water.

“Ok,” he whispers. He pulls you back onto him, pivots to the side and holds onto the ledge with one hand, letting you lay back on his chest as you both come down from your high. You lay like that for a minute or two, feeling his breathing against your back as his cock softens. 

“Up for a dip any time, pumpkin,” he says in a hushed voice as he hands you your bikini top.

----

Night Walks AU for more of this menace starting when you meet him.

Thank you so much for reading! Please consider commenting and/or reblogging if you enjoyed it.

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All Joel:@ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @blackvelveteen1339 @manazo @wolvesandvampires @taeslarityy @str84pedro @lokanda  @kyloispunk @filthfairy @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles @harriedandharassed @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy @cutesyscreenname   @weddingfairy @pedropascal-whore @spideysimpossiblegirl @feministfanboi @gracieispunk @prettypartyfavor @am-3-thyst @babeincolor @milla-frenchy @switchbladedreamz @within-the-depths @am-3-thyst @may-machin @pedromania91 @sloanexx @paleidiot

nw tags on @toxicfics reblog

[nemesyaaa]

bf!pope x earthy/boho!gf!reader (moodboards and aesthetic) i don't like it at all (feel like it's rushed...)but i love the earthy core so bad.

“ sweet creature, sweet creature. wherever i go. you bring me home ” harry styles lyrics.

i picture earthy!boho!reader like the most peaceful soul and mind. she has her own world, and bring pope in everytime. she's always smiling and helpful. she helps pope, even if he doesnt ask. this reader don't try to fix him, or whatever, she's just caring. and try to understand why the kindness boy of the world doesnt have the most beautiful and heartwarming life ? she help him to reconnect with nature but also his culture, she's like the daughter of the nature, an earthy nymph who love peace more than anything.

but she also loves jazz, random refreshing places, she has a bunch of cats that she never forget to feed. pope helps her to rescue some abandonned animals, bobby heyward really love her, she lives in her garden with full of flowers and plants like a fairy, she loves making homemade meals, hanging out near lakes, taking therapeutic walks, staying in the grass for hours.

while pope works, she paints him. because she loves his focused face. he's like a muse. his face is a work of art.

she has a ton of boho jewelry that she shares with pope. because he is not afraid to wear necklaces, bracelets, foot and waist chains like her.

she is definitely an artist who makes music (flute and tom-tom), and indie films. she smoke weed.

she wants to adopt children later.

even though she is uncertain about her future, all she knows is that she wants to be with pope forever. she save money for their future needs.

dynamics core ;

you love taking your shower at the waterfall with him, kissing him while the water continues to flow over the two of you. you like to ride bikes in pairs on abandoned paths. you like to take him to drink coconuts and bissap. you like hanging out with him at the bookstore and especially when he carries you on his back because you're too lazy to walk.

I know this man loves braiding your hair, but especially adding flowers, jewelry and accessories.

he loves taking photos of you when you have a butterfly on your skin, a ladybug on your hand, a chick on your legs, a cat in your arms.

he's in love your honor. and you're his safe place.

( hope you like it bby @annoyingassleo <33 i did my best actually or i tried. )

[yunjardi]

my heart bel♡ngs to daddy [series]

[young sugar daddy!jake × fem!reader]

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[click here for this series' masterlist to read previous chapters, general warnings, and playlist]

[!!chapter warnings!!: smut [mdni], angst, some fluff?, DADDY KINK, overstimulation, unprotected sex, reader gets lifted up, smoking weed, arguing, crying, mentions of food, mentions of toxic family (!!!) lmk if i missed anything!]

*sorry for any grammar errors

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-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

chapter 15: lipstick stains

upon arriving home from the japan trip, you gave perry some extra food whilst telling him how much fun you had as if he was listening to your rambling. traveling is fun and all, but nothing beats the feeling of being able to take a shower in the comfort of your home before climbing into your own bed. really the only downside to coming back from a few days off is the work shifts you have to make up. good thing you had an earlier than usual shift; earlier shifts mean you'll have more free time later in the day when things get really busy.

it was quick for you to doze off considering that you had such an eventful few days and now you were thinking about working. but before you could fully fall asleep, you remembered to text jake. you knew he'd worry if you didn't text him at least once before you went to bed.

your tummy filled with butterflies from simply texting the guy, so you could only imagine how much more excited you'll be to see him.

an uneasiness crept up on you while you read the texts over and over again.

why did he speak to you as if he's your boyfriend?

why is he always so affectionate?

'whatever, it doesn't matter, i'll just sleep,' you forced yourself to stop thinking about it in order to get to sleep.

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you woke up at the ripe hour of 3PM in the afternoon which left you with only about an hour and a half to get ready for your shift. springing out of bed, you ran to begin getting ready.

since it was your first day back, you wanted to look extra appealing to the customers because tips are always appreciated, right?

you made sure to put on a bit of makeup to hide the fact that you'd woken up so late, and you headed off to the bar.

the bar had become a bit of an anxiety trigger ever since that girl came around, but you came to realize that she was probably just trying to start some shit because she was most likely bored. you were there to work and nothing else; she just happened to get in your way. 

before you could even get to the break room to put your personal belongings in your locker, an excited yeji engulfed you in a tight hug.

"ah, it feels like forever since i last worked a shift with you! innie and i missed you so bad while you were away with your little boyfie in japan!" yeji blabbed excitedly while you two were still hugging, "innie was all sulky because he was stuck with me the whole time ha! you already know how i like to annoy him on purpose."

it made you feel genuine joy to know that your friends were at home waiting for you to come back. you decided to wait until you could all meet up to give them souvenirs that you bought them.

"i never wanna leave you guys again," you remarked as you two broke the hug to begin your shift. yeji nodded in agreement while you guys made sure your outfits were in check before heading out.

the feeling of mixing drinks again felt oddly comforting. after all, it's all you used to do before jake came around; taking care of your customers was something that was important to you because it was once your main source of income. but now that jake was in your life, you didn't have to worry too much about how many tips you made, though it still boosted your confidence to see stacks of cash being given to you.

secretly, you'd been saving up all your tips to get jake a nice gift as a way to thank him for everything. sex was still somewhat a way to 'thank him,' but your heart wanted to make something truly meaningful for some reason. you also didn't want to use jake's money to buy a gift that's for him, so that was a reason to work harder.

your plan was to buy a designer white, long-sleeve button up shirt and make a recreation of the iconic maison margiela kiss-mark shirt. you thought of buying him an original one, but 1. there are only a few in the entire world, and 2. it's a crazy expensive piece of clothing. but it's more personalized and truly one of a kind if you remade it yourself, so you were trying to earn and save as many tips as you possibly could. your backup plan if you didn't have enough money was to make him some sort of baked good that was decorated to say something not-so pg-13 as a little joke. you felt more driven to put even higher quality work into your job because of this. you almost didn't want your shift to end because you were hungry for as many tips you could get. plus, you were having a great workday since no one who's previously messed with you during a shift has shown up.

when the time came for your workday to end, you eagerly walked back into the staff lounge to gather your belongings and head home to count up your money. you hoped and prayed that you could slide by with the money you'd earned.

you wanted to give something, even if it wasn't much, back to him for giving you what you feel you didn't deserve. you always believed that he could put his time, money, and energy into someone or something else, but after he told you that he chose you, you couldn't help but feel guilty for the times you pushed him away, for the times you didn't trust him because you barely trust anyone.

'i want to prove myself to you,' you thought to yourself as you walked to the bus stop, 'i need and want to trust you.'

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the bus ride felt so long which made you even more antsy to get home, but you were more than happy to hop off the bus and speed-walk to your place.

you barged into your house, locking the door behind you before busting into your room to quickly count up your money. if you had enough, you were immediately going out to get the materials you needed so that you could finish tonight and give him his gift the next day.

your heart beat got faster as you realized that you had more than enough money to get everything you needed for your project and some supplies to bake something for him as well as an extra surprise. letting out an excited squeal, you quickly changed out of your work clothes to speed to the shopping center that was closing in an hour and a half.

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you swore that your heart rate hadn't slowed down until you got back home from the shops, hands full of everything you needed to begin making your gifts for jake.

you decided to mix the ingredients for a tray of brownies and put it in the oven so that you had enough time to complete the shirt just in time for the brownies to be baked. you managed to quickly get everything in the oven and began prepping the shirt soon after.

laying out the (outrageously overpriced) white gucci long-sleeve button up on the clean counter, you applied a shade of red lipstick that jake had bought you and began meticulously placing gently kiss marks on the top part of the shirt. it was, surprisingly, turning out better than you anticipated. once the lipstick was set, you took out some fabric paint you bought from the store to touch up the kiss marks, afterwards putting paint sealing solution onto all the kiss marks to further protect them.

as if the timing was perfect, you heard the oven beep. you hung the shirt up in your bedroom before placing the warm brownies on the counter to cool down. you couldn't help but smile to yourself as you imagined what jake's reaction may be to your gifts, especially the brownies.

once they were cool enough, you spelt out 'i love ur huge dick' in chocolate letters as a joke. you knew jake would have a good laugh before eating them. placing the finished brownies in a clear plastic container, you put them aside to begin packaging the shirt in a flat box.

there was one last touch to the gift that you'd been meaning to do for a little while.

you dug out a small ring box and placed a spare key to your house inside it. you figured that he deserved to have one considering how much he took care of you. plus, everyone, 'everyone' meaning yeji and jeongin, who you'd trust with your life had one, therefore it'd be fitting if jake had one.

placing the dainty little ring box inside the same box that contained the shirt, you sealed it so it was ready for you to take to his house the next day.

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the next day came quickly, and you hopped out of bed to gussy up before calling a taxi to head to his place since it'd be quicker to do it that way than if you were to go on the underground train.

you wore a cute, short, pleated white skirt paired with a black and white prada cardigan, white knee-high stockings, and some simple black prada heels to tie the outfit together. you wanted to look pretty for jake since you were showing up to his place unannounced.

the taxi ride to his place was quite long considering that he lived on the opposite side of the city, the city being heavily divided by social class, but it was interesting to look around at the other houses.

finally, you arrived outside the gate of jake's house, typing in the security code that jake gave you to open the gate. now, you had to practically trek across his extravagant front yard and circular driveway just to get to the damn front door. the walk you had to take throughout the front yard felt longer than the taxi ride.

you reached out to ring the doorbell, hearing it echo through the house from outside. since jake's ahem- mansion was quite large, you always expected to wait a minute before he actually came to let you in; it was honestly painfully awkward to just stand there. finally, you heard the door unlock, and you were greeted by a shirtless jake clad in only joggers and a small towel around his nape. you also could help but notice that his hair was now a shade of brown which made you laugh do yourself because of how you made fun of him about doing bald. regardless, his image was making you blush.

"oh, princess," jake said with surprise in his tone, "i didn't expect you to come this early in the day." he smiled sheepishly as he witnessed the shock in your face from seeing him shirtless as if you hadn't seen him in this state a million times. "well, i came early because i brought gifts!" you smiled at jake as he guided you inside, his hand on your lower back. "that reminds me," jake smiled, "i have something for you as well." you couldn't help but become shy at the thought of jake getting you a gift even though he does it literally all the time.

once you got into his main lounge area, you set the clear brownie container and the gift box side by side on his coffee table. jake hovered over the container to read the little message you left on the brownie slab, his giggle turning into his signature laugh. jake moved toward you, hugging you from behind.

"well, if you love it so much, why don't you fuck it?" jake asked you teasingly, gently biting and kissing your neck. "now?" you asked with wide eyes to which jake responded with a hum, the feeling of jake's hard becoming prominent against your back. "if you say so," you shrugged, trying to tease him by seeming nonchalant.

jake moved onto one side of the couch, tossing the towel that was once around his nape onto the table whilst inviting you to sit on his lap.

he pulled you into a messy kiss as you began to grind your hips down hard against his, jake feeling the soft moans you were letting out against his lips.

without breaking the kiss, jake managed to get you out of your clothes, besides your knee high stockings which jake found incredibly sexy, and have you grinding on his bulge. you moved your hands to pull his joggers and boxers off, still as impressed as ever at the sight of his cock. pushing your hips toward him, you took hold of his member and put it against your lower stomach, admiring how deep his cock would be buried inside you. seeing you 'measure' how deep he would be turned him on even more, which he didn't even think was possible considering the fact that he's already fully hard and hot and bothered.

jake quickly lifted your hips, impatient and wanting to be inside you. feeling his thick tip pass through the first few inches of your entrance made you go insane, your walls already tightening around jake's cock. "it barely fits yet you still take every inch so well, princess," jake praised, "now be a good girl and start moving for me, okay?" you nodded in compliance as you gently lifted your hips and collided into his, jake letting out a satisfied groan. jake was so deep inside you that you swore you could feel him all the way in your stomach.

he let you bounce on his cock, adoring how cute you were while moaning as you fell into spells of pleasure. "fuck," you let out a whiny moan, biting your lip gently afterward, "you feel so good, jakey. it's so deep inside me." jake smirked at the way he could feel your thighs gently trembling on top of his, knowing that you were falling apart over his dick.

at this point in time, jake was fully just thinking with his dick which led him to swiftly get up off the couch, still holding you, and begin fucking you while standing up.

your eyes were rolling back as you moaned loudly for him. you were so overtaken by pleasure that you couldn't even let him know that you were about to cum. the feeling of your cum running down jake's hard-on had him fucking you harder, faster. even after all this time, jake's stamina still takes you by surprise. no one could ever do it like jake; he's the only one who could make you go this crazy.

jake soon brought you back to the couch, still not finished with you. he roughly turned you around so that you were facing away from him and made sure you were comfortable before shoving himself back inside you. you let out a loud moan at the sensation before jake began thrusting into you from below, his hands running all over your body yet still keeping you steady at the same time. you, once again, found yourself cumming all over his cock without warning, your orgasm washing over you in waves. "mmm fuck," you whined out, still being stuffed with jake's member, "that feels so good, daddy."

not long after you, jake's orgasm also took over him, hot ropes of cum spurting into you as you tried to catch your breath. it was probably one of the craziest orgasms jake has ever had.

still quietly panting, you let jake pull out so that you could plop down on the couch next to him.

"you're fucking insane, you know that?" you asked with a light laugh once your breathing slowed down. "only because of you, you know that?" jake countered your comment, nudging you on the shoulder playfully before standing up to retrieve some wet wipes from one of the bathrooms so that you two could clean up.

"here, i'll go upstairs and get us some clothes," jake smiled at you as you now tried to hide your body away as if he hasn't seen it a million times already, "if we don't cover up soon, we'll probably end up fucking again." jake joked and let out a laugh, though you both knew his statement was fully true. taking his discarded sweatpants with him, he headed upstairs to his bedroom to fetch some clothes.

you took that time to put your underwear and bra back on before jake came back downstairs. after all, it was kinda starting to feel weird just sitting fully naked in his mansion that had huge windows off to the side from where you were sitting.

soon, jake came back fully dressed and holding out something for you to put on: one of his short-sleeve shirts, a pair of your leggings, and those mid-calf nike socks that you thought were obscurely over priced for just a pack of 4 (but you had to admit that you loved them).

"ah, i forgot your gift," jake sighed as he remembered that he'd left the gift he had for you all the way upstairs, "wait right here, i'm gonna wrap it real nice since it's still up there." he flashed his cheeky yet shy smile, slightly embarrassed that he had 1. forgotten it and 2. hadn't even packaged it yet. "you're silly," you laughed as jake dragged his socks on the marble floors to get back over to the stairs.

you took it upon yourself to get up and go place your gifts for jake over on the kitchen counter since the brownies seemed out of place just sitting on the coffee table. picking up the brownie container and gift box, you headed over to the kitchen to place them both on the counter.

glancing off to the side, you noticed two glass cups next to each other. of course, you wouldn't have thought much of it because why would you, but you couldn't help but notice that one of the cups' rims had faint traces of red lipstick on it.

suddenly, your stomach felt sick. you couldn't tell if you were upset or angry. all you knew was that you wanted to get the hell out of his house.

you sped over to the coffee table, swiftly retrieving your bag and walking into the foyer where you put on a pair of sneakers, that you usually left at his house, and walked out the door.

you didn't slam his door per se, but you closed the door loud enough to make it known that you were leaving.

quickly, you dashed down his driveway and front yard, making it outside of the gate before hailing a cab to take you home.

it took everything in your power to not start crying in the taxi, your phone now ringing off the hook with multiple calls and texts from jake wondering where the hell you ran off to.

--------------------------------------------------------

"yeah, and n-now i f-feel h-horrible," you blubbered to yeji over the phone after explaining the situation and how you made the gift yourself only to be confronted by lipstick stains from someone else, "i literally d-don't even w-wanna think about h-him. god, i could puke right n-now." you sniffled loudly and blowed your nose into a tissue. "my sweet y/n," yeji sighed softly, genuinely feeling for you, "i know, i know, let it all out. heck, you could even scream at me if you want to. but seriously, he's such a jerk for that." yeji continued to listen to all the little things you had to say whilst she tried her best to cheer you up.

yeji was really the only other girl you had in your life besides literally yourself. you knew that you couldn't lean on any other woman for issues like this; especially not your mom for because she's on another level of asshole-ness, you didn't talk to your siblings either, your sisters in specific who you could really use right now, at all, so without yeji, you'd probably be doomed when it came to stuff like this.

"honestly," you sniffled, "...i feel like smoking weed right now." yeji couldn't help but chuckle at you. "go ahead, girl, just be safe or you'll get it from me" yeji joked from the other line, "anyways, you know exactly who to call for that stuff."

after hanging up the phone with yeji, you went straight to your contacts, calling someone else up while trying your hardest to avoid all of the missed calls and texts from jake.

.

.

.

"hey, yeonjun."

--------------------------------------------------------

knock, knock, knock.

you sprung up from your bed upon hearing the knocks at the door.

looks like yeonjun is finally here.

you opened the door and were greeted by his sly smile as usual.

you offered him to stay the night since you two would be getting high together, and you didn't want him driving home whilst not being sober. he, of course, jumped at the opportunity.

"hey, it's been a little while," you laughed quietly as he pulled you into a hug, "thanks for showing up on such short notice."

"oh, it's no problem, really," yeonjun shrugged with a chuckle, "now that university is over, i have nothing else to do."

you led him over to your room so that he could set his bag down and get everything ready. he made sure to bring some food over as well since weed tends to make you hungry. yeonjun may seem like the type of guy to just go over to a girl's house and not think about anything but getting some action, but he cared deep down.

both of you sat on the couch, and yeonjun got everything ready for you two to start smoking.

you let him take the first hit, watching him inhale deeply before letting the smoke pass through his pretty lips.

they weren't as pretty as jake's, though.

passing the blunt over to you, he let you take a hit before he pulled you closer and put his arm around your shoulder.

"you don't look the way you usually do," yeonjun pointed out, "there's something wrong, isn't there?" you sighed out after your next hit, nodding in defeat as you rested your head on his arm. "do you wanna talk about it, beautiful? a pretty girl like you should always be smiling," yeonjun asked, not forgetting to add a dash of flirting as he usually did.

"do you remember jake?" you asked as you passed the blunt to him, him nodding before taking a hit, "i think he's seeing someone else at the same time as we're having a... thing, if you can even call it that. i went to his place earlier today to bring him some gifts that i made him the night prior as a surprise, and i saw that he had two cups in his sink, one of them stained with dark red lipstick. it made me feel shitty, so i decided to leave without saying a word to him." you explained between the passing of the almost gone blunt which prompted yeonjun to get up and prepare his bong to smoke from.

"bro is a fucking sleaze, seriously. and i'm not just saying that to make you feel better, i'm saying it because i think you deserve someone who won't lead you on like that. please don't think that you're at fault for being upset," yeonjun reassured you, putting his arm around you again and letting you fall into him after taking another deep inhale of weed, "god, he's a fucking dick for that."

you couldn't help but let a few tears roll down your face as you opened up to him about what happened. you weren't even particularly close to yeonjun, but he just felt so trustworthy. were those thoughts maybe a side effect from being high? possibly. did you really care? nope. you just needed to get everything off your chest.

"please don't cry," yeonjun said upon feeling his shirt become wet with tears, "he is not worth it. guys aren't supposed to leave women in tears like this. remember that, okay?" you nodded as yeonjun helped you dry your tears.

at this point, you couldn't even keep count of how many hits of weed you'd taken. all you knew right now is that you were overcome with intense sadness, barely being able to stop your tears as yeonjun hugged you tight, his sweet cologne tickling your nose.

you were so out of it from your emotions paired with weed that you didn't even notice how quickly you drifted off to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------

waking up, you didn't expect to feel your mattress underneath you. you got up and peered out your open door, seeing yeonjun fast asleep on your couch with a cozy blanket and pillow underneath his head.

quietly, you snuck over to your bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror and staring at how shitfaced you looked from smoking all night. you decided to brush your teeth, wash your face, and fix your hair a bit to see if it'd make you feel better.

you suddenly heard the bathroom door creak open, seeing yeonjun's reflection in the mirror.

"oops, i didn't even think of knocking," he looked down sheepishly. "don't worry about it," you chuckled in response, "i was just on my way out anyway. wanna go out to get breakfast or something?" yeonjun nodded, already beginning to brush his teeth. you smiled at him before walking out of the bathroom to give him privacy.

while you were waiting on him, you decided to plop onto your bed and check your phone.

the calls and texts from jake were reaching the hundreds at this point. from what you could see, he'd been texting you almost all night.

you felt your stomach tie itself into a knot. you slid your phone to the other side of the bed and lied down, pretending to sleep so that yeonjun would leave you be once he got out of the bathroom.

you felt like sobbing your eyes out.

you hadn't gotten texts like these since you left home all those years ago.

shutting your eyes tightly, you tried to think about something else, anything else, but you simply couldn't.

the bathroom door creaked open, yeonjun walking out and spotting you on your bed. he figured that you went back to sleep and decided to chill on the couch until you "woke up."

suddenly, you heard a weird noise that startled you a bit, but you decided to ignore it until you heard the door open.

your soul fully sunk through your body. you forgot that you gave jake a spare key.

"and what do you think you're doing here?" you heard jake's deep aussie accent question yeonjun as you gulped. "i should be the one asking you that question," yeonjun argued back, "y/n? are you awake? we've got some company."

you had to bite the bullet, you had to. you crept out of your room, seeing jake and yeonjun staring at each other with fury in their eyes.

"jake, what are you doing here..." you sighed out as you looked down. jake ran toward you, relieved that you were safe. he reached over to pull you into an embrace which you rejected. jake swore the world stopped spinning when you moved yourself away from it; you'd never done something that...cold.

"uh, s-should i leave?" yeonjun asked awkwardly though still worried. "i advise you do," jake replied to him immediately. "don't talk to my friends like that..." you glared at him, causing him to stiffen.

"okay, i'll go," yeonjun sighed as he walked over to grab his backpack off the floor, "but if i hear that you put your hands on her, you're done for; i'll fuck you up, remember that." before he walked out the door, made sure to mouth 'be safe' to you.

"what the fuck, jake?!" you yelled out once the door was shut, "you didn't have to be aggressive with him! h-he was just helping me with something." it wasn't a complete lie.

"if anything, i should be asking you 'what the fuck!' you literally haven't contacted me since you abruptly left my house yesterday evening no matter how many times i messaged and called you! you had me worried sick! what the hell is going on?! was he here all night? is that why you didn't talk to me? did i interrupt your little fling?" jake rebuttaled.

"you're one to talk about having a little fling," you said under your breath before going off, "you're the one having girls over at your house one after another! you probably dyed your hair for her too... you were probably shirtless and fresh out of the shower because you had something going on before i got there, huh? you're lucky she left before i got there, right? she would've been so upset to see another girl over, wouldn't she? i saw that lipstick stained cup, jake, and i'm absolutely over it. i'm not just gonna sit here and act like i'm fine with this because i'm not."

jake sighed in frustration as he put his forehead on one of his hands. "look, it's seriously not what you think-"

"don't waste your breath. get out, get out and go back to her. what you do is none of my business; i don't give a fuck anymore."

"y/n, fucking listen to me, okay?!"

you flinched at the way he raised his voice. for the second time today, you were brought back to when you were still living with your shitty family. the yelling was getting to be too much, and you were trying your hardest to conceal the tears that threatened to pour from your eyes.

jake noticed how your body seemed to stiffen at how he was talking to you, and he felt horrible about it, but it was the only way you'd listen; he knew you well.

"that girl who was at my house prior to you coming over was the same girl who'd been harassing you at work. she came over unannounced to whine and question why i took you with me to japan instead of her, and i explained everything to her. i kindly asked her to butt out and which only made her angrier. she's trying to get between us, and i don't know what else to do but wait things out and hope she eventually leaves us alone and-"

"if i'm you're "everything," then why are you having such a hard time being assertive toward her? i trusted you, jake... i thought you actually cared, but it seems like you don't anymore."

so much for wanting to trust him, right?

jake's eyes widened in shock at the sudden realization that you heard him say that you're his everything when you guys were back in japan.

"w-wait, you heard that?" jake asked.

"wow, is that really what you're worried about right now? the fact that i heard you lie?"

"i wasn't lying! y/n, please stop being like this. i was serious then, and i'm still serious now. please don't cry."

you honestly didn't even realize you began crying until he pointed it out. frantically, you wiped your tears in embarrassment.

"h-how do y-you expect me t-to believe y-you?" you hiccuped through your tears, "j-just admit t-that y-you don't c-care about m-me." you fully sobbed your eyes out in front of him, your emotions making your body physically weak.

"y/n," jake's voice broke as tears rolled down his cheeks, "i-i just- i really care about you. fuck it, y/n, i can't take it anymore-

.

.

.

i love you..."

--------------------------------------------------------

a/n: dramaaaaaaa hehe, i hope you enjoyed this one 🩷 it's very plot heavy, but i hope you were able to read it all the way through without falling asleep 😭

taglist: @axartia @jjhmk @jayroseyy @ayohahaha @asaheyow @bunhoons @red-xherry @duolingofanaccount @lix-freckle3 @leeis @green-orangeade @imbaeksbae @sunghoonmybeloved @tum73er @sjakewrld @jeondolly @lalalalawon @jckeplanet @meinapricity @bubbleseo @cherryunie @bently-baby @fluffypiesstuff @teti-menchon0604 @rjsmochii @omgjwon @sunshine-skz @wy1999t @oceanyocean @nyfwyeonjun @mxshimoo @multifandombtvh @donghyckl @iloveoceaneyesss @jakeswhore @jinsfavoritedoll @brownsugarbaybee @heehee01 @mesopret @heesitation @heeverseblog @yoursjaeyun @mklhyvn @jungwon-xo @crazydelulu @kyurizeu @ineedsomezzz @graythecoffeebean

p.s. i removed lots of accs from the taglist that i have never been able to tag, so pls lmk if you don't see yourself here but you originally asked to be on the taglist! tysm!

©yunjardi on tumblr

[marleyybluu]

Thinkin’ Bout You

Spooky Diaz x fem!reader

Word count: 1.2k

Content warning: 18+, gets a little hot at the end, overall fluff and mush, everyone’s in love and high, reader smokes weed, reader described to have thick thighs (of course tf), pretty sure I'm missing some sorry

A/N: I took a break from my break to post this lol I was gonna leave this as a stand-alone(it can still be read as such) but honestly? it’s giving two and counting lore… so I’ll put it as a part of that series.

(not mine, got it off pinterest but awooogaa!)

Friday. What a glorious day to be off work. You slept in, hell you'd say you deserved putting up all those work hours at the hospital, and after finally crawling out of bed you rolled a small joint for the morning, and smoked it on the balcony outside your bedroom. The neighbourhood was quiet, the air was crisp and a bit cold but it's nothing one of Spooky's sweaters couldn't fix. You wrap your arms around you, the sweater is warm and it smelt like his cologne, you close your eyes and smile at just the mere thought of him. You always think about him it was crazy how one man consumed your entire being but you were so glad it was him.

You wished he was home, wished he was here to smoke with you but he got called into work earlier than usual, you didn't even get a goodbye kiss which you were missing right now, the vacancy of those lips— soft as a cloud and always on top of yours so delicately— depending on the context of course.

Without him here the day seemed to pass on slower, you checked the time what seemed like every ten minutes which also didn't help. To distract yourself you clean and cook, call your mom until she is ready to, quote, "Go and do her own thing." And hung up on you.

You lay upside down on the couch, feet crossed as they hang over the back of the couch and your head hangs off the seat cushions, Living Single reruns consumed your screen. You were well distracted until you heard a car door slam and various keys jingling together, you sat up and gripped the back of the couch for dear life.

The lock turns. The door opens. And there he is. You scream with excitement. "Hi, babyyyyy."

He chuckles, not even ten seconds inside and you already had him smiling. "Hola mi corazón."

You roll off the sofa and run over to your man, leaping and wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. He squeezes you so tightly you swear he'd crack a few bones but in the name of love, you wouldn't care. You pepper his face with kisses before you finally land on his lips and you mould into him, his hands firmly grasping your ass that barely fits in your shorts.

He smiles in the middle of your kiss and it's an instant chain reaction. "Missed me that much?"

"You have no idea."

He gives you another small kiss before he puts you down and you fight the urge to pout and demand to be picked back up, you just want to live in his skin 24/7, but you let him catch his breath. Let him put away his things, grab a Corona while you ogle him and the way his enormous arms flexed when he twisted the cap off and the foaming bubbles sliding their way to the top... almost spilling over... but then he saves it with tongue. You lick your bottom lip and zoom in on the involuntarily sexual act, oh, and the way his Adam's apple bobbed with every sip... fuck.

"Bebita," He calls. You slowly nod, still in your love-stricken daze. "You're droolin' a little bit ma."

You rub your chin and frown at him, there is no drool. He winks at you and you turn your face to the side to avoid any more butterflies in your stomach. "You smoke already?"

You nod. "Wanna smoke again or you good?" He sat his blunt, which magically appeared from his jeans, between his lips and nodded to the back door. "Nah, I'll smoke with you."

"Good, vamos."

••••• Your head lays in his lap, his hand cupped your cheek and his thumb caressed your skin. After you two smoked, you ate and had a blissfully shared shower, now you were sprawled out on the sofa still high as fuck watching Bridget Jones's Diary, he remembered you uttered something about wanting to watch a rom-com for once. You were in the mood to watch a love story, "or something."

But you were hardly paying attention to the screen, so lost in your own world of love, you pinch his chin aiming his at an angle so he'd look down at you. Make eye contact.

"Do you think about me?" A question asked so innocently. "Course I do, baby."

You run your finger down the column of his neck, over the lump of his Adam's apple. "What do you think about?"

He pauses the movie and focuses on you. "What's this about?"

"Nothing."

"You pregnant?"

You hit him. "Spooky! No!" He was obsessed with the idea of a baby. "Just answer my question."

He sighs, nostrils flair, he hated telling his deepest feelings but, "I think about you... and me, and what our life could be like. We could get married, could have a couple of kids. I always thought about gettin' like a summer house or something. Hit it every summer with them."

You smiled. "You think about all that?"

"Fuck yeah. I see us dropping them off on their tío, he watches them... we still get to have some us time, dates, trips...whatever you want."

You swear he makes you fall in love with him all over again at least once a week. "You think I haven't pictured the wedding? I know what I'll say in my vows already."

"Liar," You teased.

"Mi amor, the day I saw you-"

You quickly cover his mouth it'd be like spoiling a movie you hadn't seen yet. He licked your palm but you were quick to wipe it on his face. "Puta." He muttered. "Bastardo." You retaliated. "So how many kids do we have?" You sit up and adjust yourself so that you are now sitting with your back against the support of the couch and drape your legs over his thighs, the cold metal of his rings hits your hot skin when his hand contacts your leg. "Five."

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" You exclaim. "I've seen childbirth live and I think we can have one and a dog." He rolls his eyes. "Fine, whatever."

He leans over to kiss your forehead. "You think about me?"

"Once in a while." You joke, his jaw drops. "Once in a while!? That's how you feel? Ay, cariño, you're breaking mi corazón."

You place your hand over his and offer him a side smile before you kiss his cheek. "The way I jumped on you when you came home isn't proof enough."

He pulls you on top of him, your legs now sitting on each side of him with his hands gleefully squeezing every pound of flesh that makes up your thunder thighs that spread every time you sit and it makes him call them pancakes sometimes. "I might need a refresher."

"Oh, getting short-term memory already, Diaz?" You hum pressing your lips to his. "Just a little bit." He answers. Your hands fumble with the bottom of his shirt, he raises his arms and you break the kiss for just a second before you're back with tongues in each others throats and you're making out as if you're life depended on it, as if he's being shipped off to war and you don't know if he's coming back. Now it was your turn to pull back in need of some air. His smile is shaky, almost like a shy expression.

"Still kinda hazy."

You rid yourself of your top, with nothing under it.

"Oh don't worry," You lean in. "I'm about to make it real clear."

Not tagging anyone in this, I'm just testing something. if you liked this fic, feel free to like this fic, reblogs and comments are appreciated. peace and love, see you in the next one🤙🏾

[concreteburialplot]

𝒲𝒶𝓁𝓁𝒻𝓁𝑜𝓌𝑒𝓇 🌸 // 02

02 - I Can See You

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x Fem!Reader

Masterlist: Here | Crossposted: ao3 | Word Count: 8.9k | Playlist: Here

Summary: After bumping into the boy who saved you from being locked out of your dorm, he whisks you away on an adventure to a bar you shouldn’t even be allowed in. Drunkenly, Sam invites you to a get together with his brothers. The anxious energy at the gathering has you questioning the invitation’s intent.

Warnings: (unknown) mutual pining, one bed trope technically, hint of forbidden twin?, very soft, sweet sammy, underage drinking, weed, jake being jake, unrealistic college experiences?, feelings of inadequacy, ~new crush anxiety~, 18+ MDNI

A/N; thank you so much to anyone who read part one, it makes me so happy to know it was enjoyed so much 🩷

Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and does not reflect any members of the band or their real lives/actions/etc. - i hope you like it 🥲💞🌸 smut next chapter promise

Vibes this chapter;

-I Can See You - Taylor Swift - Close To You - Gracie Abrams - Maroon - Taylor Swift - Fallingforyou - The 1975 - So High School - Taylor Swift

The moment consciousness seeped into your body, you jolted upright, your heart racing like a shot of adrenaline straight to your system—a perfect substitute for caffeine. Your eyes scanned the room within a millisecond only to have the throb of a hangover remind you of how you got there in the first place. You immediately looked beside you on the mattress even though you felt no presence there. The bed and the room were empty. The edge of your lips inadvertently downturned at the lack of him. Your eyes landed on the bedside table, finding a note there. 

Mornin’ - 

Help yourself to some snacks or some green

Hope to see you around, Wallflower ❀

-Sam :)

An embarrassingly wide grin crept across your lips and butterflies began to run rampant in your tummy. If the note itself wasn’t enough, the little flower doodle made your heart soar. You instantly tried to stifle it down, he was just some boy you met at a party. He didn’t make any moves on you and treated you only as a friend. You barely knew each other. You were nothing special to one another - at least that’s what you told yourself. 

Once ready to get out of bed, you stripped off the rust-colored shirt you’d borrowed from him the night before, folding it into a neat square on his dresser. You changed back into the stained shirt that his had temporarily replaced just to be clothed enough to walk across the hall to your room.

The notepad that seemed to belong to the note on the bedside table sat next to the boxes of incense on the dresser. You took it upon yourself to write him a note back. 

Hey - 

Thanks for the shirt and for saving me last night. 

See you across the hall! haha

-Wallflower xx

Weeks slipped by without a single sight of him. You thought he must really spend all his time at Danny’s, because despite living on the same floor, you never saw him coming or going. Each day, as you walked down the hallway to or from your room, you’d glance toward his door, just hoping to catch even the briefest glimpse of him. But every time, there was nothing—no sign of him at all. It was as if Sam had vanished into thin air.

The longing gnawed at you, filling you with the prickling rush of a high school infatuation. It was that same eager anticipation you used to feel while lingering around a crush’s locker, waiting for that fleeting moment when your worlds would briefly collide. The anticipation, the nervous energy that hummed through your veins—it left you with a familiar ache of wanting to see him, even just for a second. It felt almost insane to be so desperate to run into someone you’d met only once, but it was maddening how he seemed to occupy every corner of your mind, refusing to be forgotten.

You were beginning to wonder if Sam had just been a figment of your imagination until an hour before closing the on-campus café, when a familiar face walked up to the counter. When you looked up at him, his grin grew wide.

“Wallflower!” He exclaimed. 

A peachy tint coated your cheekbones at the fact he remembered the nickname he’d given you. “Hey Sam.” You tried to keep your voice level to not seem overly enthusiastic, but inside there was a flurry of excitement. “I haven’t seen you around much.” You kicked yourself for mentioning it, thinking he may find it creepy that you noticed.

“Ah yeah, I take night classes, so my schedule is all fucked up.” He shrugged. 

“Oh, that makes sense.” You said in realization since you mostly took morning classes. It was no wonder you never ran into each other with your schedules flipped. 

He ordered an iced chai and watched as you swiftly threw together the ingredients without a second thought. “You really seem like a pro at this.” 

You laughed. “Yeah, I guess.” After throwing a lid on the cup, you slid it to him. 

“Hey, when are you off? I’m thinking of heading to the bar after this, wanna come?” He plucked a straw from the container full of them then smacked one end on the tabletop until it ripped through the other. 

“About 30 min-“ Your head tilted a bit. “You’re a freshman, aren’t you? How are you getting into a bar?” You asked skeptically. 

A smug smirk tugged at his mouth and shrugged nonchalantly. “I have my ways.”

“Oh, well I don’t have a fake ID or anything like that…” You trailed off suddenly feeling the excitement of seeing him again drain from your body. 

“It doesn’t matter. Like I said I have my ways, I know people. I can get you in no problem.” He paused. “If you want to, of course.” 

“Okay.” You nodded, still not fully convinced but you weren’t going to pass up on an invitation out with him. 

Upon arriving at the off-campus bar with Sam, you’re immediately overwhelmed. The bar was tiny, grungy with red neon lights adorning the outside. Posters of music artists, new and old, were plastered all over the walls. It was packed, people bustling and flowing in and out the front door. All Sam did to get you both in was show up. All the staff seemed to know him and didn’t blink an eye when he ordered you both drinks. You chose a lime margarita while he chose a beer. 

“Where are your friends?” You asked looking up at him before taking a small sip of your neon green beverage. You wrapped your cardigan around your body as a way to soothe your social overstimulation.

He looked at you a bit funny before outstretching his arms, “Well, look around!”

You giggled and did as he instructed. In a way he was right, just about everyone in the room seemed friendly with him but not necessarily his friends. You nudged his arm with your elbow, “You know what I mean.” 

“First of all,” He used his free hand to cover the area you had just gently poked. “Ow! That hurt.” He exclaimed teasingly. “Second of all, did I say I was meeting friends?” 

You reflected on the earlier interaction, initially perceiving it as him meeting up with friends and you merely being an afterthought. But as you reconsidered, one phrase stood out in your mind: "I can get you in no problem, if you want to, of course." It replayed over and over, taking on a new significance.

He could clearly see the hoops you were jumping through in your mind, and it brought a grin to his lips. His hand tentatively found your wrist to gently ground you enough to regain your focus back to him. “I asked you to come here with me, not them.” He said simply, like it was as easy as breathing but it hit you in the stomach like a punch. 

Blood flooded your cheeks bright red, “Oh,” You didn’t know what to think nonetheless what to say. The last thing you wanted to do was misinterpret what he was implying and make a fool of yourself. “I see.” If it had been any other man, they might’ve taken your curtness as a rejection or grown insecure, but not Sam. He just gave you a smile and said, “Good.” before taking a sip of his beer. 

He led you into the back corner of the bar where the pool tables and games were located. “You wanna play some pool? Test out those tricks you learned a couple weeks ago?” He asked but your eyes were elsewhere. 

A large grin pulled across your lips with a brightness filling your eyes as they returned to him. “What about darts?” 

His eyes flickered with uncertainty before pulling into a smile, “Sure, why not! Loser buys the next round.”

“Deal.” You happily went to gather the existing three darts on the board and brought them over to the boy. You offered them up like a gift in your hands. “Here ya go.”

He put his hand up and shook his head, “No, no ladies first.” He was being polite, but it just seemed like he was unsure of his abilities. 

You positioned yourself in front of the dartboard, feeling Sam’s gaze on you as you prepared to throw. The light hum of bar chatter faded to the background as you focused, the dart cool in your hand. Your fingers curled around it just right, and with a smooth motion, you threw. The first dart landed solidly within the outer ring—not perfect, but decent. You turned to glance at Sam, flashing him a playful smile before grabbing the second dart.

As you lined up your next shot, you made sure to take your time. You could feel Sam’s eyes on you, watching your every move. With a small flick of your wrist, the second dart hit closer to the center this time—just barely off the mark from a perfect shot. You gave him a small, satisfied smirk, the competitive spark in your eyes unmistakable.

For the final throw, you felt a playful and buzzed surge of confidence. Turning to Sam with a smirk, you gave him a challenging glance. “Ready to see how it’s really done?” You asked with a teasing lilt in your voice. Then, with another smooth, more controlled, flick of your wrist, you released the dart, watching it land just shy of the bullseye, so close that you could almost feel the victory in the air. You stepped back, letting out a breath of satisfaction. “Your turn,” you said, stepping aside and offering him the darts with a grin. "Good luck."

Sam chuckled softly, shaking his head in disbelief. “Okay, show off,” he sassed, clearly amused but a little more nervous now. He stepped up to the line, eyeing the board with a serious expression that only made you grin wider. 

“C’mon, Sammy,” you teased. “Don’t tell me you’re already nervous.”

He glanced back at you with a raised eyebrow, his lips curving into a smirk. “Worried? Nah. Just making sure I don’t embarrass myself too much in front of you.”

Your cheeks felt aflame, the statement could’ve definitely been meant in a friendly way, but it made your heart race. Just the idea that he was conscious about your perception of him was almost enough to make you spiral into what-ifs.

Sam took a deep breath, rolling his shoulders like he was about to face a real challenge. He stepped forward, aiming carefully. The bar's warm lighting cast shadows over his features, giving his usual confident expression a touch of apprehension. He threw the first dart—landing just shy of where your first shot had landed.

"Not bad," you teased, crossing your arms. "Think you can do better?"

His lips twitched, that competitive edge sparking in his eyes. He glanced at you briefly before throwing the second dart, this time hitting dangerously close to where your second shot had been. "There we go," he muttered under his breath, more to himself than to you.

You couldn't help but laugh softly. "Guess the pressure's on now, huh?"

Sam smirked, his eyes finding yours as he prepared for the final throw. "Always is when you're around." The words were light, but there was a certain tension beneath them, a weight that made your heart skip a beat. His focus shifted back to the board, and he released the third dart—this one just a hair away from the bullseye.

You let out a mock gasp, stepping closer to him as if to inspect the board. "Well, look at that! Seems like you could actually win."

He leaned in slightly, his shoulder brushing yours. "Could?" he echoed, his voice low, teasing. "Sounds like you're doubting me."

Your smile softened, feeling the heat of his presence next to you. "I guess we'll just have to see, won't we?"

He chuckled, the sound warm and familiar, and for a moment, the world outside of this dart game seemed to fade. It was just the two of you, standing close, the air charged with something unspoken yet undeniable. You wondered if it was just the alcohol rushing through you or if it was real, and more than anything, you wondered if he felt it too. 

You and Sam continued playing, the competitive energy between you both lighthearted but persistent. With each round, Sam improved slightly, his throws becoming steadier and more consistent. But despite his best efforts, you managed to stay ahead, winning both rounds with just enough of an edge to keep teasing him about it.

By the end of the third round, it was clear that you had the upper hand, your score pulling ahead with each set of darts. Sam finally threw his last dart, which landed just shy of the bullseye, and turned to you with a mock sigh of defeat. “Alright, you’ve officially beaten me three times in a row, I think it’s time to call it.”

You laughed victoriously, the burn of alcohol warming your skin and allowing your real, unbridled self shine through. “Fuck yeah!”

“Damn, beat my ass in pool and darts, gonna beat me in poker too?” He joked. “C’mon I owe you probably the most expensive shot on the menu.” Sam knew he’d lose to you the entire time. Not only because he really sucked at darts but because he just wanted an excuse to buy you a drink without it being an overtly romantic gesture.

While a shot wasn’t necessarily what you wanted, who were you to deny Sam of anything. You were certain that he could convince you to do goddamn anything with those big hazelnut eyes.

One shot of tequila turned into two, two turned into three until you were four shots deep, giggling at the bar with Sam over any and everything. With a new margarita in your hand and fresh beer in his, you both found yourself in the back corner again, this time on a leather couch. Your thighs and hips sat flush with each other, and it was all you could think about. Warmth radiated off of him and seeped burning heat into your side. You were aware of any and all movements beside you and your hazy mind worked hard to decipher them. Sometimes it felt like he was flirting with you and other times he’d act like a friend. This confusion wasn’t made any easier when he dropped his arm around your shoulders. 

Little did you know that Sam was feeling the same way, sensing a nervous pit in his stomach as he picked apart every expression and reaction you gave him. He paid extra attention to when he attempted to flirt with you, he noticed that your cheeks would redden but you wouldn’t flirt back. He was just as confused as you.

You both were nervous, confused and excited. As much as Sam wanted to rush it, he wanted it to play out organically to see if you felt the same. 

All the alcohol from the night was making you tired so when you leaned into Sam’s touch, it didn’t register that you could be overstepping. Sam froze but wasn’t upset about your sudden affection. 

“Sammy.” You hummed against his shoulder, letting the smell of his herbally cologne fill your nostrils. “You smell really good.” 

He let out a breathy laugh and wrapped his arm further around you, pulling you closer. “Yeah? You like it?” He asked, looking down at you with a soft smirk.

“Mhm. It’s perfect.” You looked up and giggled as you booped his nose. “Like you.” 

If you had been sober, you would’ve been mortified of your own actions but drunk you only noticed how his tan cheeks turned pink. He looked so cute with rosy cheeks. 

“Oh,” He laughed down at you. “You must be very drunk.”

“Nuh uh!” You protested sitting up, using Sammy’s thigh for support. He was immediately extremely aware of your hand placement but was trying his best not to think about it too much. “You had the same amount to drink.”

“I never said I wasn’t drunk, silly.” He stated proudly, “Just that you,” He booped your nose back. “Are definitely, very drunk.” 

You pouted at him before letting your defenses fall, giving way to your fatigue. “Sammy, I’m sleepy.” You informed with a bit of a slur. “Bed. Must get to bed.” 

Before he could respond, you were up and marching for the door - you had a mission and you were going to accomplish it. Sam gathered your cardigan and purse for you and hurriedly followed you out of the bar. “Hey, wait up!”

Once Sam caught up to you, the two of you stumbled through the night like only tipsy college students could, winding your way through the streets back to your dorms. You trekked through the quiet streets, making your way home with a mix of laughter and slurred songs. You sang whatever pop song was dominating the radio, your voice loud and uninhibited. Despite Sam's earlier claims of hating mainstream pop, he somehow knew every word. You both belted out the chorus together, the melody echoing in the still night air.

You skipped ahead, dancing and twirling under the streetlights, your carefree energy infectious. Sam, though a little more reserved, couldn't help but smile as he watched you. He wasn’t necessarily a reserved creature normally but even wasted he was nervous to make a fool out of himself in front of you. Sam mostly watched with a fond smile, occasionally giving in to your playful antics and joining in—whether it was a spontaneous spin or a goofy dance move—he couldn’t help it, you were addictive to him. Not so much like a drug, but more like a new favorite latte to be craved every morning. He didn’t mind getting lost in you; he was happy just being there with you, letting himself be swept up in whatever fun you dragged him into.

Once you reached your dorm room door you fell to your knees dramatically, “Nooooo!” You shook your fists at the sky over another sock on your door.

He giggled at your theatrics, “Does she do this often?” 

“AUGH.” You groaned and fell flat on your back. “Only every other fucking day.” You exhaled and blinked at the dust-coated ceiling. 

He held out a hand to help you up, which normally would take no effort, but your exaggerated movements were obstructing the ease. “C’mon let's get you into a bed.”  

Once on your feet again, his hands found your hips to push you forward and it sent a chill down your spine and a heat between your legs. Even in your heavily intoxicated state, you were extremely aware of just how large his hands were and how they enveloped your hipbones completely. The way he guided you to his room reminded you of that first night with him, though you were much less drunk then. When inside, the now familiar scent of marijuana and patchouli filled your nose, and the dim lighting comforted you. 

“I don’t even wanna know what you’ve been doing all these nights while you’re locked out of your room but,” He opened the top drawer to his desk, grabbing something that hung by a little white disc. “You can always just come here, since I’m gone most of the time anyway.” He shrugged, holding it by the disc in front of you between two fingers.

“Oh, I absolutely can NOT take that.” You pushed his hand back towards his body. 

Sam rolled his eyes with a smile and reached towards your pants, gently pulling your pocket open and dropping the key in. “Don’t use it if you don't want to but,” He paused, taking a moment to look at you. “I want you to have a safe space to go to.” 

Your heart swelled so big in your chest that you feared that your ribs might crack. His chocolatey brown eyes were so soft and genuine, and most of all concerned. The idea of Sam not only trusting you enough to give you his key but doing so because of his concern for you, made you want to melt into the floor. Which is exactly what you did. 

Your knees buckled and you fell onto the ground once again in dramatics. You sprawled out flat on the carpet with your eyes locked on the geometric tapestry hanging from the ceiling. He chuckled and towered over you with his hands propped on his hips, “You done now?” 

You blinked up at him. “Why would you do that?” You whined more of a statement than a question. 

“Do what? Give you the key?”

“Make me like you.” The words danced out of your mouth effortlessly, so much so that your drunken brain didn’t even register what you said.

The smile that pulled across his lips was so glorious, so beautiful - it reminded you of morning sunlight shining down on fresh, dewy grass. Sober you would definitely be filling your brain with 68 different ways he was too good and far too gorgeous for you – but right now, you just admired him and his presence. He reached over to grab his pipe and a lighter before sitting down criss-cross next to you on the floor. 

“You like me?” He asked with a soft smirk as he brought the pipe up to his lips and lit the lighter to spark over the herb. As the green burned, he inhaled a deep hit, held it, and exhaled a smokey cloud above you. 

You turned your head to him with a smile wide enough to hurt your cheeks and nodded. “Sure. Maybe.” 

He kept his grin like he was satisfied with your answer. The anxiety he felt before melted away just a bit. His own heart was full from your slight confession but still aware that you were heavily intoxicated. The admission filled him with both hope and apprehension. He offered the glass pipe over to you, “Want some?” 

You waved it away, “No, no. If I get crossfaded, I’ll throw up.” To which he quickly retracted his arms and his offer. 

“Please don’t puke on my floor.” He teased before setting the pipe back on his nightstand. 

After a bit of silence, he cleared his throat, “So, um,” He sounded nervous to continue his inquiry. “My brothers and I are having a movie-day-get-together thing this Friday, would you wanna come?” 

You tilted your head at him, your stomach dropping a bit in anxiety at the idea of being in a room full of people he knows, not just his friends, but his brothers. Nonetheless, a soft smile spread across your lips, “Sure, Sammy.” 

He let out an involuntary giggle, he loved the way his name sounded in your voice, “Cool.” Abruptly, he pushed himself off the ground and held a hand down to you. “C’mon, you said you wanted a bed, remember.”

“Mmmmmm yeah but the floor is comfy too.” In your drunken state, it felt like heaven. 

“Don’t make me pick you up, because I will.” He warned with a pointed finger, to which you just stuck your tongue out to like a defiant child. 

“Fine, hard way I guess.” He shrugged before leaning down and scooping you up into his arms with one beneath your knees and the other supporting your back. You instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck for stability. Time seemed to slow as you watched him focus on getting you into bed - he was breathtaking, glowing even. You weren’t sure why he was radiating but you bathed in the sun rays he beamed. His wavy brunette hair framed his face perfectly, cupping his jawline with a small curl inward. All of his angles were sharp which contrasted tastefully with his plump lips and soft eyes. If there was a blueprint to what a man should look like, it was definitely him. You weren’t religious but you were convinced that some god up there must’ve crafted him perfectly, sculpted him into the most gorgeous man you’d ever seen. 

You were falling in love, and you didn’t even know it yet. 

“Sammy.” You mumbled sleepily, nuzzling into his arm as he set you down. “Don’t leave. Sleep.”

He chuckled, crawling into bed behind you. “Wasn’t planning on it, Wallflower.” He whispered gently, turning his body towards you. 

He muttered something along the lines of ‘oh shit the light’ before reaching over you carefully to click the lamp off. As he settled back into his original spot, he accidentally ended up closer to you. Before he could move away, your sleepy body instinctively grabbed his arm, pulling it around your waist. He froze for a moment, caught off guard by the unexpected intimacy but your warmth was too inviting to resist. He quickly melted into the spooning position, holding you close as sleep began to overtake you.

Sam stayed awake a little longer, savoring the warmth and closeness. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed this—being able to hold someone, feeling a comforting connection. It had been a long time since he’d had a girlfriend, and while he often saw his brothers and shared platonic affection with friends, it wasn’t the same. Cuddling had always been the part of relationships he cherished most, even more than sex. As he snuggled into you, and you unconsciously pressed back against him, he felt a flicker of something he hadn’t felt in a while. Whether it was just a drunken gesture or something more, it didn’t matter right now. It simply felt good to hold someone again.

Your sleep riddled eyes slotted open slowly to warm light seeping in and gentle music playing. When your eyes finally adjusted to the light, you saw Sam lighting incense and dancing a bit to music you didn’t recognize.

“Morning.” You said gently as not to startle him, which proved useless since he nearly jumped out of his skin. 

He placed a hand on his heart, “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.” He then readjusted to lean against his dresser in a ‘cool’ way, “You didn’t uh, see anything did ya?”

You giggled, bringing the duvet over a yawn. “You mean like you dancing? Nooo didn’t see any of that.” You replied teasingly. 

“Whatever, forget what you saw.” He waved you off and went back to trying to get the incense lit after being interrupted. The lighter flicked a couple times before finally igniting and catching the tip of the scented stick. 

“Already forgotten.” You smiled into another yawn and stretched, pulling the muscles in your shoulders and arms. 

You suddenly got a rush of ‘I need to go home’ when you realized you were still in last night’s clothes but relaxed the second you realized that your room was just down the hall. 

“You hungry? I ordered some food that should be here soon.” He grinned, hesitantly. “I didn’t really know what you liked or if you’d be awake so I just kinda ordered a bunch of stuff.” He laughed bashfully. “I was also a little high when I placed the order so…”

You chuckled at him, “Yeah sure, I could use something to soak up all this alcohol.” 

Soon after there was a knock at the door with the food. You watched Sam greet the deliveryman who he already seemed to know, and tipped him a $20, which you thought was extremely generous until you realized just how much food he ordered. 

He turned to you with an expression that embodied both shock and embarrassment. “Okay so maybe I was really high when I ordered.” 

You both laughed as he set down four bags of food for the both of you. While it was true that he had been quite high when he ordered, he also hoped that he’d pick something from the menu that would entice you to stay a bit longer. 

He plopped down on the floor in front of all the food, starting to separate all of the transparent containers. You soon met him on the floor on the other side of the mountain of food. “What is all this stuff?” You questioned, not recognizing the green branding. 

“It’s my favorite little bistro, Rose & Lentil! You’ve never been?” He pulled out what looked like a smoothie bowl, something pudding-like, a mixed salad and some grainy pancakes. You never expected a boy like him to be eating anything other than junk. 

“No, I’ve never been, but it looks yummy.” You half lied. “What’re you gonna eat?” 

“Hmm, I was thinking either the açaí bowl or the chia seed pudding. But if you want either of those, by all means.” He kept hands off all of it until you chose. 

“I was actually gonna ask for the pancakes so that’s perfect!” You hungrily reached over to grab the container and brought it to you. 

Sam opted for the açaí bowl, informing you that it was actually his favorite breakfast food, aside from regular pancakes. The ones he’d ordered were whole grain pancakes, but they ended up being delicious regardless - that or you were just starving. 

Breakfast was full of jokes about the previous night’s events, with both of you laughing over the silly moments and playful mishaps. As you sat across from him, the conversation flowed effortlessly, each joke and shared memory bringing another burst of laughter. Everything felt so easy and natural with him, like slipping into a comfortable routine. But even amid the lighthearted banter, there was a small, persistent flutter of anxiety in your stomach. It was a twist of nerves that you couldn’t quite shake, a subtle hint of the deeper feelings lurking beneath the surface.

As you watched him move around some blueberries at the bottom of his clear container, you were suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of gratitude. You were thankful that this stranger attended that frat party weeks ago and that he spotted you. You were so grateful for his kindness; you didn’t know what you would’ve done these nights being kicked out of your dorm. But mostly, you were thankful for his friendship. Katie was a decent friend and roommate, but she was absent most of the time and you hadn’t made any other friends. If it didn’t sound so lame you would’ve thanked him verbally for spending time with you. Being away from home was lonely and it was nice to spend some time with a friend. You weren’t sure if this little flutter in your heart would actually lead anywhere but if anything was for certain it was that you’d find any way to make sure he stayed in your life, even if it was just platonic. No matter how much the idea of platonic hurt to think about. 

After breakfast you said your goodbyes and slipped out of his room and back into your own, quietly, in case Katie was sleeping or still had company. Thankfully, the room was empty, and you could decompress in solitude. You pressed yourself against the back of your door and took a deep breath. All Sam did was be kind to you, and you were already smitten with him. How could you not be? With beauty like his you were surprised he didn’t have a jealous girlfriend kicking you out of his room. You closed your eyes and let your head fall back replaying the night. Suddenly, a vague memory arose, of him wrapped around you as you fell asleep. Heat filled your cheeks and the tips of your fingers at the thought, and you wondered if you had just imagined it. Regardless, you now felt the absence of him around you, and it was a feeling you didn’t like.

But you stuffed down the sensation as much as you could, he probably was taken or uninterested in you in that way. With how pretty he was there was no way that he’d be interested in someone as mediocre as you thought yourself to be. He probably dated the most beautiful girls on campus, and you believed you definitely weren’t one.

A week later, you arrived at the address Sam had given you and craned your neck up to the skyscraper-esque building. Sam had called this an apartment building, but it was definitely a condominium. You didn’t even know there were condos on the outskirts of campus, but you went to a prestigious university so, it would make sense the rich kids lived here. Which surprised you because you never even suspected Sam to be a “rich kid”, he was just, Sam. 

After a long elevator ride, you reached the 7th floor and stood in front of a white door adorned with a gold number paired with a letter, 7C. You shift back and forth on your heels and grip the straps of the tote bag hanging on your shoulder. After exhaling a deep breath, you mustered the courage to knock your knuckles against the door. 

You’d briefly met all of his friends already except for the brother that owned the condo, but you hadn’t met them yet. Not sober anyway. 

The door suddenly swung open only to reveal a boy with shaggy brown hair and a giant, toothy smile on his face. 

“Y/N!” He exclaimed excitedly and you wondered how he knew it was you even though you’d never met before. The boy just a bit taller than you wrapped you in a big hug. Your brows furrowed a bit at the gesture, seeing as again, you’d never met before.

You chuckled nervously, “Josh? Right?” 

“The one and only!” The grin never leaving his face. “Welcome, welcome!” He announced, spreading his arms wide. “Make yourself at home, grab a drink, enjoy yourself!” It was then that you realized he’d been holding a beer the whole time. “Oh, and please take your shoes off at the door, thank you!” 

“Thank-“ You began but he had fluttered away before you had a chance to finish. 

You could hear the bustle of the other boys in another room which is where you assumed Josh had run off to. You took in the condo as you were left alone. It was spacious with an open floor plan. Floor-to-ceiling windows filled the room with dim light from the cloudy day. Everything was white with abstract art decorating any sparse areas.

Josh must’ve promptly informed Sam of your arrival because he appeared quickly after his departure. 

“Hey Y/N,” He smiled softly, and you took note of his reserved cadence and the fact he didn’t greet you with your nickname. He wrapped you into a half hug, which after Josh’s bear hug seemed small. You felt crazy for noticing the tiny differences in behavior when they probably meant nothing. 

“Hey Sam.” You smiled shyly and gave him a small wave. The interaction seemed so… new, and stale, when you’d been hanging for a bit and even at the beginning, he hadn’t been like that. It settled a storm of nerves in the pit of your stomach. Suddenly every interaction you'd had with him was replaying in your head, wondering if something went wrong. 

“Do you want a drink or something?” He asked, leading you into the spacious modern-styled kitchen. Once in front of a rather large silver fridge he opened the french doors to reveal a plethora of alcohol, taking up most of the appliance. 

“Oh, um,” In the corner you spotted one row of water bottles. “Could I have a water please?” You figured that alcohol may not be the best idea when feeling as nervous as you did. 

He smiled, “Of course.” His hand plucked a bottle and handed it to you before grabbing a beer of his own. 

“Hey, Sam!” Called a voice you recognized as Jake’s calling from the other room. “Come help fix this shit with this TV.” 

He rolled his eyes but placed a tender hand on your shoulder, “Excuse me.” He said in a tone insinuating that he’d rather do anything else than go help them. 

Shortly after Sam left, you soon felt another presence enter the kitchen. “Well, well, well. Nice to see you again.” Welcomed Jake adorned with a faux British accent and a half drank amber beverage.

“Hi- uh,” You pointed over your shoulder. “Didn’t you just call him over for help?”

Jake smirked and gestured over in the general direction. “Yeah, that’s what he’s doing. Helping.” He took a sip of his drink, his chocolate browns eyeing you over the brims of the short glass. He looked even better in the daylight, in a patterned button down, unbuttoned til the very last few buttons before being sucked into his jeans. His hair was long, past his shoulders, and fluffy. His face was sterner than Sam’s but not as angular or sharp.

“Oh.” You replied shortly, feeling naive and a bit cornered.

“Oh love, you can’t be only drinkin’ water.” He stayed in the British accent except it was sounding a bit Irish. “Let me make you something.” He began taking bottles off the counters and pulled a stemless martini glass from a cabinet. 

“No, no.” You tried to stop him using your hands to wave away his actions. “I’m okay really.”

“Nonsense. I’ll make it light.” His gravelly voice returning to his American dialect. Though, what he was making looked far from light and the churning anxiety in your stomach only worsened. 

He poured in some vodka into a shaker and took the opportunity to glance up at you while the liquid poured. “So, Sammy wooed you huh?” The corner of his lips curling into a smirk. 

“I-I,” You began but fell short, not really knowing the answer. It was true but Sam didn’t even know how you felt, you couldn’t let Jake know first. 

“I see.” He nodded, adding cranberry juice to the metal container. “Either you haven’t told him or he’s not doing a very good job at wooing you.”

A bright red blush bloomed to your cheeks at his words, seemingly stunned silent, lost in your own jumbled thoughts.

He paused with his brows lowering then raising, “Or both.” Before the smirk returned again. “What a shame.”

“What is?” You asked innocently.

Some other juices and ingredients you didn’t recognize were added to the shaker before he snapped the lid on it. “You’re easily the most beautiful girl he’s ever brought around.” He said effortlessly, no hesitation behind the words - unlike with Sam, who had you questioning your entire purpose there. “It’d be a shame for him to fumble the opportunity to win you over.” He brought the shaker over his shoulder and shook it with one hand, ice clashing into metal filling the silence in the room. 

“Oh, no.” The blush on your cheeks had dulled to dusty rose and your eyes fell to your water bottle as you played with the label. “I don’t think it’s anything like that.” When the words left your mouth, they felt like lies. It had to be something right? There’s no way you were just imagining everything. You shrugged. “Or maybe? I don’t know.” 

He poured the martini glass full of a cloudy pink liquid and handed it to you garnished with mint. “You’re far too stunning to be that confused about someone’s feelings for you.” 

You took the glass delicately to not disturb the beautiful presentation. “Thank you.” You replied quietly to both the drink and the compliment. 

Jake’s eyes darted to the left catching Sam making his way back. The smirk returned to his lips before leaning over to reach your ear. “If you’re not impressed by him, let me know. I can do anything he can’t.” His hand lightly gripped your arm before parting from you to walk past Sam in the opposite direction.

Your eyes widened unsure how to take his claim, but a buzz fell into your hips nonetheless. What could he possibly show you that Sam couldn’t? But more importantly, was there truth behind his words, should you not be blindly crushing on Sam without knowing his feelings? While Jake wasn’t the one you wanted, he sure had a way of making everything so simple.

You were startled out of your thoughts when Sam finally reached your side. “C’mon, they’re about to start the movie.” He said quietly then placed his hand on the small of your back, gently guiding you to the living room. 

The feeling of his touch on you made your heart swell but only further confused you about his behavior. Even after his hand left you, it still tingled where it had been. He plopped down in the middle of the couch and patted the cushion beside him, inviting you to sit next to him. 

You couldn’t help the grin that tugged at your recently glossed lips and took the seat next to him. 

It didn’t take long for all the boys to gather around the tv, some on the couch and some on the floor. They put on some indie movie that you could barely keep up with, not because it was necessarily over your head, but because of Sam’s proximity to you. Your knees were barely touching and there’s just a hair of space between our stationary pinkies on the cushion, just begging to cross over each other. Your heart stayed high the entire time, but you try to hide your chest rising and falling rapidly. You wonder if Sam or anyone else around them could tell or if Sam felt the same way.

Jake sat on the other side of Sam, and you were grateful for it because the idea of being sat between them made your head spin. It was bad enough you’d already caught him stealing looks at you every now and then, but you paid no attention to him, not wanting to fuel whatever fire he was trying to start. It was bad enough that his words were ringing in the back of your head and your curiosity running rampant.

You and Sam’s pinkies were still barely touching, and the contact remained light yet electric throughout the entire movie. The sensation of his skin brushing against yours was enough to keep your heart racing and your skin tingling with goosebumps. The quickened pulse and fluttering nerves never eased during the film’s two hours and seventeen minutes, despite the lively chatter and laughter of the group around you. Each time you shifted, or the couch creaked, the brief, tantalizing contact was a constant reminder of his closeness, amplifying your giddy nervousness. Every slight movement or accidental brush seemed to heighten the tension, making it almost impossible to focus on anything other than the shared, electrifying proximity between you. The soft, shared touch was like a delicate thread binding you together, making every casual brush of his hand feel intensely significant.

As the movie ended, the group burst into animated discussion, gesturing enthusiastically about their favorite parts. You were more than content to fade into the background, relieved not to be thrust into the conversation since you had barely paid attention and couldn't have contributed meaningfully. As the chatter continued and the group began to scatter—grabbing their belongings or placing glasses in the sink—You rose from your seat, stretching your arms above your head to loosen the muscles that had been dormant for the past two hours. Then, you navigated around the couch, stepping out of Jake's way as he made his way toward the living room exit.

You ended up leaning forward against the backside of the couch, pressing your palms into the headrests for support. Suddenly, you felt the warmth of Sam’s head resting on your shoulder from behind. It was a simple, unassuming gesture, but it sent your heart racing, making it feel as if it were leaping into your throat. The thudding pulse in your ears seemed to drown out everything else, and every hair on your body seemed to stand on end.

Sam's hands were tucked behind him as he bent slightly to rest against you. “Did ya like the movie?” He asked casually, completely unaware of the mini panic attack his closeness was causing.

“I—” You stuttered, feeling your cheeks flush with warmth. He chuckled softly, sensing your unease.

“You didn’t like it, did you?” He guessed with a knowing smile.

The blush deepened on your cheeks as he pulled away, giving you a moment to regain your composure. You turned to face him, trying to steady your breath. “I did,” you said, not entirely untrue, since you had been too distracted to focus on the film.

Sam’s face softened into an endearing, embarrassed grin, his eyes dropping to the floor. “Ah, I told the guys we should’ve picked a more interesting movie.” It was adorable, the way he was nervous about you enjoying the piece of media, nervous about impressing you. 

You noticed then that it was just the four of them, no extra partners or friends. This was really about him introducing you to his tight-knit circle. He was more reserved with them compared to his larger-than-life charisma he normally exuded in other social situations. Being the little brother of two other grandiose personalities, it made sense that he’d sometimes get outshined. You wondered if this was the normal dynamic with them or if they were on good behavior because of your presence. 

Without thinking, you reached out and found his wrist, giving it a little squeeze. “I liked it. I think I’m just tired.” 

His regular joyful smile and the sparkle in his espresso eyes returned, “Oh, I’m glad. I was scared it would bore you.” 

You shook your head with a reassuring grin, “No, I think I just need some coffee.”

“Hey, Y/N!” A voice called from the kitchen and when you leaned over to follow it, you found Jake with a cigar perched in his lips while he lit the end. “You should join us at the arcade tomorrow night.” 

Your eyes flickered up to Sam, who looked like Jake just asked a question he had been hyping himself up to ask. “Sure.” You smiled up at Sam before moving back to Jake. “I’d love to.” 

“Cool.” Sam nodded, trying to act nonchalant about it all but the truth was that he was ecstatic. 

The more he got to know you, the more he became something he rarely was - shy. Fidgety and nervous were never part of Sam’s repertoire, he was always his most authentic self, never caring who thought what of him. Until you. Especially since you weren’t seeming to pick up on any of his hints. True to your nickname, he thought of you like a flower, something delicate. Delicate for Sam was dancing around all of the obvious signs instead of blurting out his feelings. He didn’t want to scare you away with overstepping or misread signals. You were slowly becoming his new favorite person, and he didn’t want to rush or lose that because of his own impatience. 

After saying goodbye to the boys and thanking Josh for his stellar hospitality, you and Sam wandered over to an on-campus café for some much-needed coffee before Sam’s evening class started. The atmosphere was cozy, the scent of freshly brewed coffee wrapping around you like a warm blanket. It felt like the perfect way to wind down after the busy day.

The view from the amply large windows gave you a perfect view of the setting sun, casting pink and gold through the glass and onto the tan boy. You couldn’t get over just how beautiful he was, you wondered if he knew that about himself.

“Thanks for drivin’ me back to campus,” Sam said as he brought his cup to his lips. You couldn’t help but let your eyes drift to his mouth, watching as his pink lips touched the plastic lid. You felt a strange pang of envy toward that cup, wishing you were the one he was drawing closer to.

“Yeah, ‘course,” you replied, quickly blinking away your stare and taking a sip of your hot coffee to distract yourself.

He set his cup down and cleared his throat, his gaze locking onto yours with a spark of mischief. “So,” he began, drawing out the moment with unnecessary suspense, “I have a very important question.”

Your eyes widened as you mirrored him, placing your cup down too. “Oh god, what?”

Sam paused for effect, leaning in ever so slightly before finally asking, “What is… your major?”

You let out a relieved laugh, placing an open palm on your chest. “Jesus, you scared me.”

Sam chuckled, flashing you that easy grin of his. “Gotta keep you on your toes.”

“Um, honestly, I’m kind of undecided,” you admitted with a shrug. “I came in as an English major, but now I’m not so sure. You?”

“Ah, I’ve got no major,” he said casually, taking another sip of his coffee. “Why choose? I want a little bit of everything, ya know?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “I believe they call that Liberal Arts.”

“Damn,” he sighed dramatically, shaking his head with mock disappointment. “And here I thought I was being revolutionary.”

If you didn’t have a massive crush on him, you might’ve teased him more, maybe something like, "Yeah, a lot of men seem to think they’re revolutionary," But you bit your tongue, opting for something lighter instead.

“Looks like you’re gonna have to think outside of a bigger box, Sammy,” you teased, tipping your cup toward him with a grin.

“I guess you’re right, Wallflower,” he shot back smoothly, making your heart skip a beat. It wasn’t your name but god did you love the way he said it. You felt the familiar warmth creeping up your neck, threatening to color your cheeks red, so you quickly changed the subject.

“So, your brothers just go to arcades regularly?” you asked innocently, trying to steady yourself.

He laughed, setting his cup back down. “Not just any arcade. It’s The Arcade. It’s this bar-arcade place, kind of like a smaller, off-brand Dave & Buster’s.”

Your lips formed an understanding "O." “My bad.”

“It’s a lot of fun,” Sam continued, his eyes lighting up with excitement. “I think you’ll really like it.”

You smiled, enjoying his enthusiasm, but something had been gnawing at you for a while now, so you leaned in with a half-serious grin. “Hey, so how do you get into all these places anyway? Just how many people do you know?”

Sam laughed easily. “Honestly, just one—my dad.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Your dad?”

“Yeah,” he said, shrugging like it was no big deal. “He’s the Dean.”

You almost spat out your coffee. “Your dad is the Dean? Of our school?”

“Yep,” he said with a grin. “And, well, I guess I know three people if you count Jake and Josh. They set some traditions before I started. Most of the bars let me in because of them.”

You blinked, processing the information. “So, your dad just lets you guys drink and party wherever you want?”

Sam shrugged nonchalantly. “Kinda. He wants us to have the full ‘college experience.’ As long as we keep our grades up and don’t screw up too badly, he pretty much lets us do whatever. It also helps that no one really wants to say no to us because, you know, Dean’s kids and all. Not that we’d ever get anyone kicked out or anything, but they don’t need to know that.”

You laughed, leaning forward on your elbows with a teasing glint in your eye. “So basically, don’t piss you off?”

Sam grinned, his expression softening as he leaned in slightly. “I don’t think it’s possible for you to piss me off.”

As you finished your coffee, the conversation drifted into lighter topics, the laughter between you and Sam making the café feel even cozier. But as the sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a warm glow through the café windows, the thought of your upcoming weekend plans lingered in the back of your mind. The idea of spending more time with Sam at The Arcade filled you with a strange mix of anticipation and excitement—a little nerve-wracking but thrilling all the same.

“Ah shit.” Sam quickly shifted his watch into view. “I gotta get out of here before I’m late - again.” 

The anticipation was sweet, a pleasant undercurrent as you both stood up to leave. You didn’t know it, but he was feeling just as anxious and excited as you. 

Sam flashed you a grin that made your heart flutter. “So, Saturday then? I’ll pick you up around seven?”

“Yeah, sounds perfect,” you replied, unable to suppress the smile that tugged at your lips. It felt like the weekend couldn’t come fast enough

As you said your goodbyes and parted ways, a smile lingered on your lips, the thought of seeing him again sending butterflies swirling through your chest. 

You found yourself looking forward to it more than you expected, not just because it sounded fun, but because it was with him. You couldn’t help but smile at the idea of what the weekend might bring—laughing over games, the buzz of the arcade lights, and maybe even an excuse to let your guard down a little more around him.

The thought of the upcoming date left you both excited and a little bit anxious. It felt different, but you couldn’t tell how. But mostly, you couldn’t wait to see where the night would take you—after all, being with Sam always promised an adventure.

Taglist; @sacredthefran @deathblacksmoke @measuredingold @persuasivus @broken0mens @peaceloveunitygvf @shutupdevvie [comment or send an ask to be added to taglist<3]

A/N; Thank you SO much for reading! Let me know what you think<3

[amelee23]

Butterfly | Hwang Hyunjin

Genre: Romance, angst, poetic prose

Pairing: songwriter! Hyunjin x gender neutral reader

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: this story contains ANGST. but it is NOT MAJOR, so I won't be revealing further information because it will ruin the PLOT TWIST. 🤫 ;;; Reader dates men, reader is called muse, Hyunjin is hopelessly in love he's literally so far gone, butterflies (?), longing, everything is poetic (cuz i mean it's me who wrote it, by this point poetic prose is just who I am as a person)

A/N: I was cutting onions and decided I want to make others cry with me. BUT I LOVE HOW THIS TURNED OUT, inspiration Ily

Hyunjin was glad he met you today.

He had been struggling with writing songs, and you were always the fix for it. It wasn't a lie, that an artist must have a muse - well, it's not that he must, but it would be beneficial to - lyrics flow out of him freely when he's around you.

He thinks the two of you might be magical - that you both come from fairytales, each one with a different life lesson to teach; and yet you met in this life, and became real. It didn't matter if you were flattened down to this dimension of existence, because Hyunjin could still see it - he could still feel it - the magic of it all.

You were always the saving grace whenever Hyunjin couldn't finish a song or even start one at all. He couldn't say that inspiration struck him when he was around you, because it was you who struck him. You, with your beautiful hand and fingers, struck him down, mercilessly, sadistically, weighed down his heart with feelings he won't escape even in multiple lifetimes. You were the savior of his career, and Hyunjin often wondered if you even cared to listen closely and picture your face in the lyrics - because if you did, you'd realize just how much of his dark and twisted world revolves around you.

But the songs he wrote about you were his upmost favorite. He has a soft spot for the one he called "Stray cat". It was when he just had a horrible fight with you, and as he wondered the streets in the dark, alone and miserable, a stray cat crossed his path. Looking at the adorable creature, Hyunjin thought to himself they were very much alike in that moment. He was also just a stray cat without you, without a home to return to. You were all that Hyunjin considered to be familiar, warm, comfortable. In a world where families didn't exist, he'd invent the concept himself just to marry you.

Or there was the song he entitled "Roots" because of some douchebag of a friend who said some nasty things to you during a vacation at a mountain resort. Hyunjin will never forget him, the way he made you cry - although karma hit back quite fast, because a couple of hours later said friend tripped over a tree root and ended up face first in the mud. That day, Hyunjin had told you "people like him are just like weeds. You grab him by the hair and pull him out without even putting force into it. It's the ones who grow roots into your heart that you should be careful about."

There was also "Moonlight"... but Hyunjin wasn't that proud of himself for that one. You were the most gorgeous fairy that night, sat around the campfire on the beach, strawberry and chocolate bits at the corner of your lips. You laughed so hard, smiled so loud that even the moon was envious. Well, and so was Hyunjin - jealousy overtook him that night, because he wanted to be the one to make you smile so bright. He knew it was petty, and he never did anything about it, never admitted it to you, but wrote a song to ease his heart. But if Hyunjin were to be honest, he'd admit he's quite scared of the day when he wouldn't love you and want you with such passion. It is this heaviness of emotion, these imperfections that plague your connection, this darkness residing inside of him because he loves you too much - these are what makes it possible for him to live musically. His entire life was an orchestra, an array of screaming violins, a theatre play with no end, an epic poem with no God in it to be his savior.

He knew not much was necessary for him to have material to write about. You just had to be next to him, he just had to let the moment happen. A comfortable silence as you're sitting next to each other, on cute wooden chairs, outside a coffee shop, enjoying the summer breeze; that's all that was needed. You were there, in this reality, with him. You weren't really paying attention to him, as you were busy tapping away at your phone, but Hyunjin didn't mind. If you were to be looking at him, he'd immediately get embarrassed - because his eyes give him away. His eyes give away the gentle admiration he has for you, the violent urge to lock fingers with you, the world ending thirst for just one kiss, the tears that threaten to escape him when he thinks of a world without you. The look in his eyes makes him feel ashamed, so he's glad you're looking away.

A butterfly lands with grace on top of the sugar box on the table, and it's like he perches up towards you, to give you a kiss on the nose. Hyunjin can't help but laugh, for he knew from the beginning you were made of magic. It was only you who didn't see it.

The butterfly is calm, gently moving it's white and pure wings, and it even sits still for you to take a picture. Then, few second later, the butterfly slowly flies away, and you wave him goodbye, as if he was a dear friend you're sending off for holiday.

You smile at Hyunjin and his heart wants to come to a stop, and yet it beats faster, and yet nothing is happening. He's stuck in limbo, in between and regression and a progression, in a present that is not related to the past, nor the future. All at once, they're happening all at once, and he desperately wants to be able to love you.

But he cannot. Because five minutes later, your boyfriend Minhyuk arrives to join your hangout, and as you cling to him and give him a kiss, Hyunjin's world goes back to black.

He desperately wants to be able to love you, but all he can do is hate you. Hate you for being so magical, so beautiful, for being his home, his moon in the sky, for you growing such roots inside his heart.

It is true, every artist needs a muse. And only you can inspire Hyunjin like this, only you can make him suffer in such a way. Only you can turn his life into an array of violent violins, only you can make lyrics flow out of him so freely.

He's ashamed to use you like this, ashamed of the way he looks at you, ashamed he's written so many songs about a friend. When people ask him what the secret behind his creative genius is, he knows exactly what it is: shame.

But he can swallow it down, much alike everything else: his longing, his pain, his jealousy, his envy, his wrath, his sadness, his heartbreak. He can swallow them down, if he puts them all in a song.

He was glad he met you today.

He's on his way home, softly sniffling on the bus, hoping no one can hear him, and his fingers are furiously typing down lyrics to a new song, called "Butterfly". Considering how much pain he feels, he hopes the song was going to be successful.

Butterfly

Whenever I see a passing butterfly,

I think of you, and with sorrow, I sigh.

From it's fluttering wings I want to run away,

"Just a little longer" my heart will say,

For you to change, I think I can no longer stay -

Because it's gotten clear as day,

That you don't love me anyway.

.

©amelee23 do not copy or repost.

*Minhyuk is not supposed to represent any real human person

I hope you have enjoyed reading! Please leave me some feedback 🙏

I'll give you a gold star if you can find some ways I did foreshadowing about the plot twist 😉

That's it have a great day y'all muah 💋

[chloe-caulfield94]

Max is Chloe's antidepressant

I love the moment where Chloe and Max start dancing in Chloe's room in Episode 1. Not only is it a cute and funny scene on its own, but it also proves how powerful the feelings between them are.

By the time Max came back to Arcadia Bay, Chloe had been struggling with depression for some time. Max can find prescription antidepressant Fluoxetine in Chloe's bathroom. Chloe wouldn't have been taking such a drug had she not been diagnosed with depression by a psychiatrist. In addition to Fluoxetine, Chloe self-medicated with weed, which has antidepressant properties - hence the whole medical marijuana thing. In Before the Storm we see that Chloe sometimes had to smoke a joint to even find the strength to get out of bed in the morning. So it's likely the onset of her depression was when she was sixteen.

After bringing Max to her room, Chloe suffered a major bout of depression. She suddenly lost all strength and had to lie down. She instinctively reached for weed, one of the few things left in her life that she could use to ease her pain. Finding Max in the parking lot raised Chloe's spirit for a moment, as evidenced by her smiling while looking at Max on the passenger's seat, but it wasn't enough. At this point Chloe was unaware that Max had saved her life. On the contrary, she thought she was the one who had saved Max from Nathan's predations. And while bumping into Max was a dream come true, it also proved that at least some of her fears were rooted in reality. Max had been out there, very close, but she hadn't reached out. Would she have ever reached out? Would she have hopped into Chloe's truck if Nathan hadn't been hot on her heels? Those fears and doubts must have been even stronger in the version of events in which Max had chosen to say "Give me a break, I was going through changes. Like you" when faced with Chloe's grievance.

But when Chloe saw the butterfly photograph, it suddenly dawned on her. Not only Max still cared about her, she cared about her enough to save her life! This realization, that Max still had feelings for her, was enough to launch Chloe from a near catatonic state into wild celebration. From laying down and being unable to do anything, even hold a conversation, to laughing, jumping and dancing.

Max is Chloe's antidepressant. Her love was the only cure strong enough to keep Chloe going.

[starspray]

A Burst of Sweetness

Two Caranthir drabble-and-a-halfs for @feanorianweek

--

“Why, hello Carnistir!” Aunt Lúcellë sits back on her heels and smiles as Carnistir comes to peer over her shoulder. She is clad all in green and brown, as befits a follower of Yavanna, and has daisies and asters woven into her thick braids. “Have you an interest in gardening?”

“I don’t know,” he says, surprised. He hadn’t really thought about it. “I just wanted some strawberries.”

Lúcellë laughs and leans forward again, plucking the largest and reddest strawberry from the plants she is tending. Carnistir bits into it, relishing the burst of tart sweetness on his tongue. “Berries are not free in my garden, though,” Lúcellë says. “Come help me trim the roses, and I will give you more berries, and apples too, to take home for your brothers.” She leans close, with a conspiratorial glint in her green eyes, and whispers, “But I’ll save the sweetest for you.”

.

“Hello, Carnistir.” Lúcellë settles quietly down onto the grass beside Caranthir. He is still new-come from the Halls, and is surprised to find how glad he is to see her, with her quiet voice and gentle dirt-stained fingers.

“Hello, Aunt,” he says, straightening from his weeding.

“Your garden is lovely,” Lúcellë says, reaching out to touch a fingertip to a peony blossom. “But you have no fruits.”

“Next year, maybe.” For now it is enough to grow flowers—beautiful things that need no more purpose than that. And they bring other beautiful things to his garden—gem-bright butterflies, and swift hummingbirds.

“Well, in the meantime…” She places a basket between them, and opens it to reveal bright red strawberries. Caranthir takes one. It is even sweeter than he remembers.

Lúcellë puts a hand over his and smiles at him. “It is good to have you home again.”

[danosrosegarden]

the little things

{thoughts on surviving a suicide attempt, one year later.}

it feels like an odd thing to be counting down to. it plagues my mind and eats at its wrinkles as i’m watching the days quickly wither and fade away on my calendar. one year later. what’s there to say? the chrysalis was woven tight around my body, pressing down on my throat. and when it finally burst, i was not the glimmering, bright butterfly i dreamed of. i was an ugly moth, dark wings sprouting like dry weeds from a barren ground. maybe i could be that butterfly in another life. and so i tried. i really gave it my best shot, didn’t i? you know it’s bad when even killing yourself results in embarrassing failure.

i appreciate the little things now. we failures all say it, because it’s true. the little things glow with a kind of glistening spotlight that never shined before; the crispness of the air in my lungs, the savory smell of the food on my plate, the wrapping warmth of the fuzz in my comforter. i think of every step i take and breath that sweeps through my body and i wonder if there was some kind of mistake, me being saved and not somebody else. life giving me these brand new eyes, a gift that had my name handwritten on the tag. i’ll never feel deserving.

it’s the churning feeling in your gut and the saliva flooding your mouth right before you vomit: realizing you meant to hurt yourself. your hardworking heart and the guts that break their backs processing, the warm blood, the beautiful mind. what a betrayal it was for me to try to throw it away.

it takes a village, it takes those brand new eyes, it takes a healed heart, it takes a mending brain. i thank them for working together to hoist me up. i thank myself for surviving. i thank the sweetest souls and most precious presences for teaching me how big of a gift it is to experience anything at all.

if you’ll excuse me. i’ve got some living to do.

[jenthebug]

Husband is off work today, taking FMLA because he’s so stressed out about my surgery.

He’s worried something is going to go wrong.

I’m working my ass off because I’m so stressed out about my surgery.

I know that something going wrong is a possibility, but I’m more worried about things going as planned. No matter what, it’s gonna suck. I will be in pain, uncomfortable, a burden, depressed (post-anesthesia does that), and anxious (pain does that).

I just packed up six servings of chicken tortilla soup for the freezer though, that’s pretty cool. Less work for the guys. Obviously less work for me because I’m not doing shit after surgery! 😅

I worry that they won’t keep up on the house. I’ve been burned before (not by them). So I’m cleaning as well as I can this week, all they’ll have to do is my usual “pick up and wipe down” of each room that only takes like 20 minutes.

If something goes wrong, I’ll be in the hospital, probably unconscious. Possibly dead. Then I really wouldn’t care lol. But if everything goes right, it’s up to me to recover as well as I can so I can…do it all over again for the reconstruction.

(Read more for more graphic worries, or don’t. My Read Mores are always optional.)

There’s also the visceral ick and body horror of what exactly is going to happen. Dr. Oncology Surgeon is going to cut my breasts off. Like carving a turkey.

Dr. Plastics is going to stick plastic expanders under the skin, then fill them with saline every two weeks to stretch my skin so it can hold fat from my belly to make two new pseudo-breasts. Imagining that and the reconstruction too hard makes me woozy.

They’re also taking my port, which most cancer patients are happy about because it means they’re “done” with cancer, but I’m grieving. My port saves me so much time and pain. Trying to hit these veins is like trying to thread a needle with twine. I usually get stuck 2-3 times for lab work where they can use a butterfly needle, 4-5 times for an actual IV start. It sucks and it hurts.

It is downright rude that I can’t have weed right now. Or alcohol, I’d settle for getting roaring drunk right now.

I’m gonna have drains coming from my wounds. *GROSS* I’m nervous about taking care of them.

Anyway, I think I need to watch Document 72 Hours now.

[lustkillers]

LOVE & WAR !

PART I. the garden heist.

⊹₊ ⋆ summary. - clyde and you yearned for each other, but poison ivy and spider-man were mortal enemies.

┃ tags/warnings. ࿐ ❪ friends to lovers? yet enemies to lovers? a whole lot of crime fighting violence, fluff, angst, injuries, a whole lot of swearing, clyde/spider-man is a part of the sassy men apocalypse. ooc clyde?? ❫

⊹₊ ⋆ pairing - spider-man!clyde x poison ivy!reader.

⊹₊ ⋆ note - this SUCKS and it was long overdue... might make this a multi-part series! if you do want it to be a multi-part series, please let me know!! requests are open as well :)

[ @cc-luvr , @amandayoungluvr , @insxghtt ]

YOU walked into the now closed botanical garden, your hands gliding on each leaf you passed by, bringing them life.

You had always loved the botanical gardens ever since you were a child. The smell of fresh flowers and the sun shining down through the trees filled you with contentment and peace. Everyone at school had joked that it was your favorite place in the world, but truth be told they weren’t far off.

That was until it went downhill.

After years of neglect, the garden was now overgrown and unkempt. The once thriving trees were swaying lifelessly in the wind, and the place that used to be filled with laughter had become desolate.

But you still loved it all the same. You felt drawn to this place like a moth to a flame. No matter what kind of state it was in, you felt connected.

You made your way through the once-beautiful gardens, trying to ignore all of the signs of neglect and disrepair. You stopped at each flowerbed and examined it carefully, noticing a small patch of forget-me-nots that were still blooming despite the lack of care they had received over the years.

You knelt down and ran your fingertips along the petals of one of the flowers, feeling a strange sense of familiarity. As you did so, a small white butterfly fluttered out from behind one of the other flowerbeds, hovering over you for what felt like forever before flying away.

It seemed like a sign to you - despite how neglected this place was, you knew that it had the potential to be beautiful again.

And you were going to make them pay.

"Hands up where I can see them!" A voice shouted from the darkness, only a bright light flashing at you. You slowly raised your arms, revealing the thicket of rosebuds you had gathered in your hands.

"What do you think you're doing here?" The now revealed officer asked.

You took a deep breath and spoke with confidence, "I'm here to save this garden from neglect."

The man chuckled before raising his gun, "You're trespassing, little lady."

You stood your ground, raising an eyebrow. "If you shoot me, that won't save the garden. Instead, I'm offering to help restore it to its former glory. You can let me do that instead, or else."

"Or else?" The officer leaned into his comm. "We've got an intruder here who claims to be capable of revitalizing this garden." He laughed. "I'm sure the Chief will get a kick out of this, now c'mon. I'm taking you in," he said, coming closer.

"You're not taking me anywhere," you smirked.

Suddenly, vines wrapped around the man, tightly gripping on his ankles and hoisting him upside down. "I need backup!" He yelled. You sneered as you stepped forward. "Who's so little now?" you said, using your abilities to whip each rosebud into full bloom.

"What is this?" The man gasped, awe-struck but frightened by the transformation.

"This is what comes from corrupting and exploiting nature," you replied with a menacing smile.

You glared at the officer as he cowered in front of you. "Now what?" He wheezed.

"Now," You said menacingly, "I'm going to start restoring the garden and you're going to stay out of my way."

"So... Do you grow weed? 'Cause that would be dope!" A new voice echoed through the garden, making you whip your head around towards the officer. However, no one was there.

You turned back, only being met with Spider-Man. "Hey Plant Girl," he said casually, hanging from above. You groaned, not to happy that Spider-Man had showed up and interrupted your revenge. You knew that would never work out in your favor.

"Oh great, it's you," You spat. "I suppose you've come to save the day."

Spider-Man then replied with a sly smirk, "It's what I do best." He quickly swung himself closer and closer towards you until he was face-to-face.

“Hey, is that actual plants as your suit? That’s sick!”

You frowned. “It’s not a suit. It’s part of my abilities, and it's none of your business!”

He raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright, no need to get snippy! I was just wondering is all!”

His expression now turned serious as he continued on, "But if I were you, I'd think twice about taking on an enemy like me," He crossed his arms.

You scoff, "And why's that?"

He said simply, "Because I'm not someone you want to mess with."

You rolled your eyes, unable to suppress the smirk that was forming on your lips. "Is that supposed to intimidate me? Cause it's not really working," You crossed your arms and prepared for a fight.

"Did it work?" He smirked under his mask, raising an eyebrow.

You shook your head in disbelief and prepared to fight back. "Not even close," you said, scoffing.

You closed your fist, sharp tree branch jabbing him. He barely had time to react, as he quickly jumped back. You had hit him hard and you knew it, a satisfied smile creeping upon your lips.

He slowly shook his head and glared at you with confusion. "What did I do to deserve that?" He asked, pursing his lips together.

You rolled your eyes with a hint of amusement, "Are you serious?" You smirked, "You knew who I was and yet you still came here looking for a fight. What did you expect?" You mockingly laugh.

He shook his head, "I didn't come here to fight. I came here to protect the citizens."

You laughed again, not believing a single word coming out of his mouth. "Yeah right!" You scoffed and then pointed your finger at him menacingly.

"I don't need protecting, and I will do whatever it takes to protect myself and these plants!" You roared before launching yourself towards him in an attempt to hit him with your vines as he attempted to dodge out of the way.

He dodged your attack, flipping out of the way and landing on his feet. You barely had time to react before he charged towards you, a look of determination in his eyes. He punched you in the face and then kicked your stomach with enough force to make you stumble back.

"You're not getting away that easily," he said firmly as both of you continued to fight.

You and Spider-Man fought tirelessly, neither one of you ready to back down. You used your powers against him while he used his agility and strength against you. Despite all your best efforts, it seemed like he had the upper hand--that is until you finally managed to wrap some of your vines around his legs and trap him in place.

"I think we both know who the real winner is here," you said smugly as Spider-Man struggled to free himself from the vines.

"Game over." His hand extended, shooting a web towards your hands. The web covered your hands, trapping them and immobilizing you, your control over the plants letting both him and the officer go.

He gave you a couple blows, the last hit being at your face. With that hit alone, your mask fell off your face. You looked up and there he was, staring at you intently.

He knew who you were. And he knew your name.

"Y-You..." He said slowly, recognition filling his eyes.

You felt vulnerable, but yet a part of you felt some familiarity with the masked hero.

"So what now, Spider-Man?" you asked, a smirk beginning to appear on your face. You still hadn't moved from the spot and he had made no move to escort you away or handcuff you. It felt like there was something much more behind this whole exchange than just a battle between two enemies.

He was caught off guard, still staring at you with his hand gripping your outfit. Finally, he let go and stepped back.

"You give me your word that you won't cause any more destruction to the city, and I'll let you go," he said simply, crossing his arms against his chest.

You tilted your head, "Can't promise you that, Spidey." You smirked, flicking your wrist and tying him up with the vines again, now walking away.

Clyde watched as you walked away, his heart still beating faster. His crush was Poison Ivy.

"Shit."

[luna-writes-stuff]

Day 2: Love Story, Kaz Brekker

Song link

Fanfic, gn!reader

CBJXJS SO MUCH FLUFF OMG

Word count: 3275

Tw: No beta we die like men, maybe a tiny ooc!kaz oopsie. I tried. One drop of Y/N. Sorry gold girlies. Slight description of anxiety. Piece about heists and injuries, but nothing too graphic.

Summary: Kaz hasn’t known life without you at his side. He doesn’t see reason for you to abandon him any time soon. And he isn’t planning on letting you go either.

"We were both young when I first saw you I close my eyes and the flashback starts I'm standin' there On a balcony in summer air."

Kaz Brekker was never the legend people would now call Dirtyhands. He was not always as undaunted or ‘soulless’- if you will - as people knew. You had met him when he was a normal boy. You had known him running through the weeds after you, tossing mud and apples in your direction.

The two of you frolicking and tumbling down the hills, jumping in creeks, and chasing butterflies. Nobody would believe you that that was your childhood if you told them now. But you knew. And you knew Kaz did as well.

Somewhere.

Deep down.

"See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns See you make your way through the crowd And say, "Hello" Little did I know."

But something as fragile as innocence and youth is easily corrupted. For not even ten years later, the two of you found yourselves completely and utterly alone. In the centre of a town many knew to avoid.

And though Kaz changed for the worse, and grew cold and distant, he never let you out of his sight. Not after that fateful day. He would no longer offer you comforting embraces, or heartfelt touches, but he had his way of letting you know he cared.

He’d hand you your coat, save you a seat at the table, have a cup of coffee warm for you in the morning, a hand ghosting behind your back when you passed a certain group of men, offer you a goodnight before you left for bed, and a whole bunch of other things you did not seem to notice that often. But he took special care in these things.

"That you were Romeo, you were throwin' pebbles And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet" And I was cryin' on the staircase Beggin' you, "Please don't go, "."

A moment as this one was one you would not recognize until you were asked later. You were sitting on the edge of the fountain. On top of Kaz’ coat. One he had taken off so you could sit down. And it had become normal for you. Hell, even Jesper had gotten used to it. But Kaz would take good care in remembering to do these things; for even if you did not point them out, he knew you would notice it when he stopped doing it.

So now, the three of you were waiting in the garden on the other half of your group. Nina, Matthias, Wylan, and Inej were given the simple task of invading the gallery. A painting high on Pekka’s list has passed through Kaz’ ears, and he was keen on having it. If only to bother Rollins.

But Jesper had been handsome decoy - his specialty - as you and Kaz tried to keep out of sight. If anything would tick the guards off, it would’ve been the mere sight of your faces. So the garden had to do for the time being.

"And I said Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run."

“They should have been back by now,” Kaz mumbled under his breath, leaning on his cane as he inspected his watch.

“Well,” Jesper smirked, taking a seat beside you. “You know how Nina likes to be fashionably late.” “That is a Jesper trait,” You interrupted. “Nina knows better.”

The sharpshooter shot you an accusing look. One that, ironically, Nina would often shoot you when warning you about thin ice. The boy copied the expression almost flawlessly, but you simply shrugged.

“I could sneak in and look for them.” You tried to offer in reconciliation, but you were shot down by Kaz.

“Not you,” He responded almost immediately. “They will recognize you the second you set foot in that building.” As he spoke, his eyes trailed to Jesper, who exhaled deeply at the hint.

“Do you want me to check?” He groaned almost unwillingly, standing up from the seat he had just taken.

“Please, do be a Saint and run in.” You batted your eyelashes sarcastically, holding your hands together in dramatic affection. “Thank you.”

The grumbled something under his breath,halting his steps momentarily to turn back to you. “So you two can have some alone time.”

“Go.” You dismissed, shooing him away with your hands. A joking “going” was heard from him, before he stalked through the window, leaving you alone with the Bastard of the Barrel. A surprisingly comfortable idea.

"You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"."

Patting the empty space beside you, you urged Kaz to sit down. His leg had seemed to bother him after all the walking, but you knew him longer than today. You knew he would not tell anyone it bothers him, much less admit it as an answer. But he silently accepted your offer.

“They will be fine,” You tried to reassure, to which the boy nodded, his eyes set on the building in the distance.

“Of course they will.”

“Then why do you appear anxious?”

His posture appeared rigged, his jaws set tightly together as his eyes had yet to wander the surroundings of his place. Though his cane stood on the floor steady, his hand was clutching it as if it was the only thing keeping him standing - or sitting, in this case.

Not yet.

“I don’t get anxious.”

Looking at him sharply, you opted to remain silent, not clouding his thoughts. Instead, you chose to sit there in silent peace. A moment so calm - ironic, considering you were in the midst of a heist - that you knew it would take days for something like this to appear again.

"So I sneak out to the garden to see you We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew So close your eyes Escape this town for a little while, oh oh."

But the silence was quickly overtook by a gunshot coming from the structure you and Kaz had kept such a keen eye on. Simultaneously, the two of you shot up, both reaching for the weapons hid within your pockets. But before either of you could draw them, your five friends came running out, the tallest one of them carrying a smaller painting.

“Run!” Was all Nina managed to shout, nearing the two of you rather quickly, before grabbing your arm and tugging you with her, leaving Kaz to take off on his own.

You did not dare question them. Not when you heard a group of loud footsteps thundering from the gates you had escaped through just seconds prior.

“I thought this was supposed to be a swift and stealthy mission!” You panted out over your shoulder, following Nina’s every step.

“It was!” Inej countered, her voice sounding behind your back, her breaths also heavy. “Until Jesper decided to pop in!”

“This was not my fault!”

“Not the time!” Kaz hissed, grabbing one of the bombs Wylan had secured on his back. As you kept running, he detached the clip, throwing it a couple feet back, his pace not once fading.

A loud boom echoed through the streets, but none of you dared to stop to see if the chasing had stopped.

“Of course, because storming into the main hall with a gun in your hand would not raise any questions!” Nina protested, her hand tightly clutching yours.

“I had it under control!”

“They were shooting at you!”

“Not the time!” Kaz repeated in irritation, making way to that all too familiar alley. Just a couple more steps, and you would be between the safe walls of the Slat.

"'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet" But you were everything to me I was beggin' you, "Please don't go, "."

After you and Inej had fixed Wylan up from his unfortunate encounter with a long flight of stairs, you made your way to your room. Throwing your full weight onto your bed, you sighed in relief

You made it.

The planning for heists was fun. Hell, sometimes the execution of it even was. The running was something you could never get used to, though. And it did not help your brain told you to check on Kaz every five seconds, making it quite difficult to maintain your balance. But you were here. Back in your room. The comforting smell of fresh sheets brushed through your system.

You’d have to thank Kaz for that later.

For now, all you truly wanted to do was close your eyes and relax. You did not even want to fall asleep. Resting your eyes had been a term for a reason.

Yet you could not help but notice a small piece of paper resting on your windowsill. What piqued your interest, was the fact that you had not written - nor left - anything there. And even from this distance, you could tell it wasn’t the paper you would usually use.

Groaning at the sudden thoughts, you got back up, wandering towards the piece. Your eyes scanned the first few words, noticing a bunch of crossed out sentences at the bottom, which were nigh unreadable.

This was Kaz’ handwriting.

Folding the paper, you placed it on top of your nightstand, urging your curious mind to simply shut up for once, and just close your eyes.

"And I said Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run."

He had found you like that an hour later. Still sprawled out over the blanket, almost in starfish position. Soft snores escaped your mouth, as your feet dangled from the bed.

He knew better than to disturb you.

He hung his coat over one of the chairs in the room, resting his cane against the seat. As he walked towards you, he halted suddenly, as if forgetting something. Staring at you for a couple of seconds, he decided to turn around, grabbing something from his coat, which he placed within the pockets of his trousers.

Sitting down beside you, he simply watched you, discarding his gloves on the nightstand. His eyes caught a folded up piece of paper, tucked neatly under the seat of the lantern decorating the table, making sure it wouldn’t fly off.

His head ran through a million different scenarios; had you read it? Did you leave it there for him, or had he left it there? Should he tuck it away just to be safe?

"You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"."

Kaz Brekked never felt anxious. He was not anxious now. This unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach was merely….lack of hydration.

Yes, he needed to drink. He hadn’t drank anything since you left for the heist. That was all.

Yet he could not help but grab the paper, tugging it into his pocket as well. He stood up again, tucking a blanket over you briefly, before walking up to the door.

He halted momentarily. Again.

This was no anxiety.

His head turned back to your sleeping form, his hand subconsciously reaching for the paper.

No. Not yet.

"Romeo, save me, they're tryna tell me how to feel This love is difficult, but it's real."

“Hey, Kazzle,” Jesper grinned as he slid into the booth, next to his boss, who inaudibly groaned at his cheerful friend.

“You know I love our little talks, but today, you simply seem to be radiating-“ he tried to sugarcoat, but Kaz was quick to interrupt him.

“What do you need, Jesper? And why?”

The said sharpshooter halted, gaping quietly, a mocking, dramatic sigh escaping his mouth. He was not on time to defend his case, though, for Kaz already shot him an annoyed glance.

“Nina has this bet,” Jesper started meekly.

“No.”

“You don’t even know what it is about.”

“This is your mess, Jesper.”

“No, but see, that’s the great part.” He pointed out, laying his hands on the table to put emphasis on his words. “I haven’t partaken yet.”

The boy shot him an urging glance, forcing him to continue speaking. Jesper glanced around briefly, afraid his other friends might be listening to him. But when he spotted none within hearing distance, he continued.

“I could really use a win now, and Nina seems big on her case, and you know how she gets-“

“You’re rambling,”

“Right.” Swallowing thickly, the Zemeni boy looked at his hands, twirling with his rings subconsciously. “You see, Nina seems fairly convinced you are planning a certain thing.”

Raising his eyebrows, Kaz looked at his glass. “A thing?”

“Yes, well, you won’t believe this,” he chuckled nervously, his leg now stuttering under the table. Suddenly his voice became hushed. “She thinks you are going to, you know…” he trailed off, opening his hands vertically, a hint Kaz did not seem to get.

Or did not want to get.

"Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"."

His eyes glanced up at his friend again, furrowing his eyebrows together.

“She thinks,” Jesper now whispered, his voice barely audible for Kaz. “That you are going to pop the question.”

Anxiety and dread settled into Kaz’ system once more.

No, not anxiety. Dehydration, he told himself.

“I am going to propose to Y/N?” He asked in confirmation, to which Jesper nodded wildly.

“Usually, I would take the counter bet, but Nina seemed so keen on her words, I had to check first.”

“That is considered cheating.”

“Can you not grant me this one thing?”

“No,” Kaz answered curtly. His friend sat there in silence, unsure of how to continue. Thankfully, Kaz spoke first. “No, I do not plan on proposing.”

A sigh of relief swept through the room, originating from Jesper, who laid his head on the table.

“Thank you, Kazzle. You’re a Saint.”

And with these words, he disappeared into the back room, surely making a deal with Nina.

"I got tired of waiting Wonderin' if you were ever comin' around."

These were the words that would haunt him for the rest of the night. As he wandered the halls later that night, his hands kept fiddling with the paper in his pocket. Inej had noticed. She had not told him.

She was the one who had found the note in the first place. She was the one who had placed it in your windowsill. Of course, without the knowledge of you or Kaz.

She was the one who slipped one thing or the other to Nina. She did not mean to, she simply lost control of her excitement. And now Nina had been beaming for days.

Surprisingly, no one would notice. Not until Jesper mentioned that bet to Kaz.

"My faith in you was fading When I met you on the outskirts of town, And I said."

He entered your room for the second time that night, now finding you in a fresh set of clothes, neatly tucked under the blankets, leaving space on the bed in case Kaz were to join her again. And the invite seemed to good to ignore now.

Throwing his shoes off, and changing his clothes, he walked towards the bed. You had looked so peaceful there; more at rest than you had appeared earlier. Your chest was rising and falling slowly, breath fanning past your lips with every exhale.

He knew staring was probably one of the last things he should do in such a scenario, yet he could not help it. Nothing brought him more peace nor comfort than to see you at peace. It was something silly, he considered, but he found himself truly at rest when you were.

And in that exact moment, with the soft pattering of rain against the window, he had felt more relaxed than he had in the last days. Nay - weeks. Perhaps even months.

He was not anxious.

"Romeo, save me, I've been feeling so alone I keep waiting for you, but you never come Is this in my head? I don't know what to think."

Shaking the sudden intrusive thoughts from his mind, he opted to lie on his back, his eyes trained on the ceiling. You had been right earlier; his leg had been bothering him. He had been too vain to admit it. Laying down now was not only peaceful to him, it was soothing altogether. Mentally and physically.

Hissing momentarily as he adjusted his leg, he felt you stir beside him. Freezing upon the motion, he nearly stopped breathing.

“Staying here tonight?” You mumbled, your voice laced with sleep, your head moving to bury itself in your pillow.

Kaz only hummed, resuming his shifting. He felt you rolling around, turning towards the edge of the bed as you gave him more room.

“No,” he objected through a whisper. “It’s okay.”

As if he flipped a switch, you turned back into your earlier position, your leg briefly brushing his. But he did not groan upon the impact, as you had expected. Instead, he kept his leg there; against yours, almost a comforting touch.

"He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring And said, "Marry me, Juliet You'll never have to be alone."

Silence now filled the air, the twisting and turning finally stopping. Though there had been a reasonable distance between the two of you, the feeling of his leg against yours was a reminder that he was still there.

Moments passed, yet you could not bring yourself to fall asleep. Something was bothering Kaz and you knew it. You did not even need to look at him in order to know that.

“Penny for your thoughts?” You mumbled, your eyes still shut, but interested in his words.

He remained quiet for a second, before sighing shortly. “Jesper placing bets again.”

You hummed in humor and understanding, now turning around to face him.

“Is he losing?”

He stared into your eyes for a moment, his usually stern gaze filled with something only you got to see from time to time; weakness and - ironically enough - love. It was hesitant now, but still obvious.

“Always.”

"“I love you and that's all I really know I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress" It's a love story, baby, just say, "Yes"."

You chuckled lowly, shaking your head against the pillow. Kaz simply continued to look at you, the ghost of a smile on his face.

Closing your eyes again, you muttered him a good night, knowing he’d keep talking if something were to bother him.

Instead, he grabbed your hand; his slender fingers brushing with yours, before grasping them clearly, squeezing them lightly as he moved them. His lips met the surface of your hand for a short second, the notion sending butterflies through your stomach. He had picked up this habit weeks earlier, and you would be lying if you said you did not enjoy it.

“‘Night,” he uttered back, before letting go of your hand.

It hadn’t even been a minute before his voice cut through the silent air again.

“Silver or gold?”

You were quiet for a while, pondering his question, even though you already knew the answer.

“Silver.”

Kaz chuckled, turning around to face the nightstand, glancing at something on top of it that you could not see over his back.

“Yes,” he mused. “Jesper is going to lose.”

"'Cause we were both young when I first saw you."

—

Tag list: @brekkers-desigirl @ell0ra-br3kk3r @4-ravener-7

[sarasa-cat]

Me: I swear I cannot identity a single plant to save my life.

Also me: 10/10 on this quiz. Clearly I know something. (A few were blindingly obvious so, there is that).