#saw someone follow me with 'radfem' in the bio

[backtothebog]

if you consider yourself a radfem/ter"f" please do not follow me, there's nothing for you on this blog

[dykeulous]

LISTEN TO DYSPHORIC VOICES

can non-dysphoric people stop speaking over dysphoric people? this goes both to non-dysphoric radfems, non-dysphoric tras, and non-dysphoric trans-identifying people.

why do some non-dysphoric radfems think they have the right to claim dysphoria isn’t real/stems strictly from socialization/societal pressure/is never innate etc.? i think i know myself better than that. i have always had sex dysphoria. we don’t know why & how dysphoria develops. i have later developed social dysphoria as well, which was due to socialization, societal pressure & gender being forced upon me– however, sex/physical dysphoria isn’t the same as social dysphoria; and it’s anti-intelluctual to claim dysphoria is the same as any other form of body dysmorphia. they keep telling us to just shut up & love ourselves, but they don’t realize that it’s not as easy as they make it seem. i also think it’s very debilitating when non-dysphoric radfems constantly tell me transition isn’t the only solution. i know it isn’t, and i encourage bringing awareness to other ways of easing dysphoria, i encourage bringing awareness to the potential risks of transition, and i encourage therapy before hrt/surgery. but if someone genuinely believes transition is the best solution for them, nobody should harass them for it. after all, radfems are supposed to be advocating for bodily autonomy, no?

why do so many non-dysphoric tras think they have the right to redefine our existence? the first step to accepting being trans & bringing about our liberation is to recognize who are: we are dysphoric. dysphoria is a neurological problem. we cannot progress in any way, shape, or form, without firstly disclosing that. dysphoric people constantly get erased. the first step of erasure is redefining set definitions, ignoring research & revising history. old school trans people would be devastated if they had the opportunity to see where we are right now. dysphoric people have been pushed to be leaders & icons of queer capitalism, without our consent. we are being used as weapons against homosexuality. we are being exploited by capitalism, the market & the media, our bodies are being commodified, and trans-identifying non-dysphoric people are appropriating our movement.

trans people of the 80s would be so disappointed if they saw how easily we lost the forefront of our own activist movement. any trans-identifying person who claims that this trans joy would follow up simply if dominant social structures were destroyed, is probably a non-dysphoric person using the trans identity as an aesthetic. they aestheticize our suffering & then speak over us. so many people are using & appropriating our labels as a “fuck you” movement, as a way to battle the cisheteropatriarchy ( @tirfpikachu expands on it), which would be fine if they didn’t consistently shun actual dysphoric people down & actively choose to support our erasure. i don’t really believe that identifying as trans is an effective way to battle the cisheteropatriarchy, as it can lead to the formation of actual dysphoria, and those people tend to be misogynistic & bio essentialist anyway– but that is a matter of perspectives, and as an actual dysphoric person, i just feel genuine jealously & anger at the people who took the forefront of our movement while not having to face half the challenges we do.

they tell us that we can just be happy & that we would be if social norms no longer existed– but they are saying that only because it applies to them; after all, they are just gender non-conforming people, who would probably contribute more positively to the fight against the cisheteropatriarchy if they just stayed gender non-conforming people, instead of using trans identity for it & then speaking over actual dysphoric people. i’m not going to be all pessimistic now, or say that dysphoric people cannot ever find happiness (by transitioning or simply finding other ways to deal with dysphoria, or healing– which is, by the way, possible– if any of you cared to listen to detrans voices, which i know you don’t– not all detrans people are “cis people who just made a mistake”), and i do understand trying to cheer dysphoric people up, telling us that there’s nothing damaged about us & that we can have fulfilling & happy lives– but selling this fallacy of dysphoric people suffering only because of the discrimination we face is harmful.

if we no longer faced systemic discrimination, we would be able to express ourselves more freely, that is true, yes (which is why i love gender acceleration); but we would still face multiple challenges. see it like this: if mental illnesses such as bpd, schizophrenia, npd, aspd or c-ptsd were destigmatized, and if they no longer faced medical discrimination/if doctors no longer used saneist & ableist terms to refer to the disorders & the people who have them– the people with said disorders would face significantly less challenges, but that does not mean that their inner battle would end. as an autistic transmasc, i was always able to see the connection between my dysphoria & neurodiversity: but those unwilling to listen to me will just shout “don’t group us in with those neurodivergents!”– like. damn. just call me the r slur at this point? if non-dysphoric tras actually cared to listen to us, they would see how this analogy is useful, but given that they’ll just call me a transphobic trans person– they will simply say that i’m claiming dysphoric people are inherently doomed. we aren’t, but we will be, if non-dysphoric trans-identifying people keep taking the lead of our movement. stop erasing us. listen to our voices. stop weaponizing our pain. stop turning our movement into a pseudo-religious spiritual thing.

it all goes back to the same thing: non-dysphoric people will never understand dysphoric people. both non-dysphoric tras & non-dysphoric radfems (and no, not all of them, this is aimed at those who are) tend to be largely made of gender non-conforming people who, for some reason, believe that they have the right to speak over us & reassure us that dysphoria isn’t as debilitating as we make it out to be, simply on the basis of them being gender non-conforming. they are, in essence, arguing for the same argument, despite constantly steering fights against one another. stop speaking over us. listen to dysphoric people, listen to those who have & those who haven’t transitioned, listen to those who are no longer dysphoric & listen to detrans people.

[kawaiikoala34]

https://www.tumblr.com/kawaiikoala34/701191963308965888/wetmeadow-church-homosexuality-is-a-sin. on this post, you tagged “why are terfs like this?” when in fact the person who said the last remark is literally “anti-terf” and runs a whole blog about it, you can even click on the link right there in the post. op is the terf actually. bc radical feminists are defenders of homosexuality, the sexual orientation that means you are exclusively attracted to the same-sex. obv you must know nothing abt radfem beliefs bc a radfem would never say that homosexuality is a psychological issue- most radfems are gay or bi themselves. if you want to actually know what terfism (lol) is, read this https://www.tumblr.com/radicallyaligned/638494305605009408/radical-feminism-beliefs-the-basics?source=share

To be honest, I've let this ask sit in my inbox for a long time mostly because 1) I didn't remember the post referenced and I'm on mobile 90% of the time so it wasn't easy to search for it (can't just copy and paste from an ask on the android app version *sigh*) 2) frankly I just forgot about the ask for a while (lol) and 3) the wording is pretty accusatory which made me (rightfully or not) wary of dealing with the ask.

I have now looked up the post that I reblogged, and, well, yeah I seriously messed up. Wetmeadow, the op of the post, in their bio says that they are "gender critical" which is mostly/always a dog whistle for believing in gender essentialism and thus anti-trans. I saw the quote, taken out of context, and made some assumptions because it was reblogged by a blog that I follow and, because I follow them, trusted; I was in the wrong for not properly checking out the blog that was disparaged (terfslying) and for blindly trusting the veracity/legitimacy of a post just because a blog that I follow reblogged it.

I was debating even deleting the post altogether, I'm keeping it as context for this post and to show that I'm a human who makes mistakes.

Which leads me to the ask--to me, it reads as if the asker thinks that I am either stupid and/or had ill intent when I reblogged the post rather than just being a person guilty of thoughtless (maybe even borderline mindless) mobile blogging. I guess I'm just trying to say that while I'm pretty good at taking constructive criticism, this doesn't read like someone is trying to nicely point out a mistake. In general, in my opinion, if you really want to try and change people's minds or get them to see that they made an error, you should write to them as if you were telling a friend that they made a mistake because people respond better to honey than vinegar.

Regardless, thanks for letting me know about my mistake and showing me that I need to be more aware when I reblog more charged posts.

[female-malice]

you don't have to answer this if this is considered offensive, but i joined this site (this year) thinking i could ally with radfems but then i saw a bunch of them being racist, one of them called me a racial slur on twitter (a radfem user who said it was ok bc when i called her out on her racism, she said "it's misogynistic to not support women"), and the others on here are deeply homophobic. why are so many of them refusing to acknowledge accountability??

Because you're talking about random people using the internet.

I don't subscribe to identity politics. Whether someone calls themselves a radfem, a communist, a socialist, a witch, or a BLM activist, it doesn't mean anything.

I come across countless people who call themselves LGBTQ+ activists, yet they're blatantly proudly homophobic. Just because someone identifies as something doesn't mean they're an official spokesperson for what they wrote in their bio. So whoever I see online, whatever they call themselves, they're just an online person to me.

Overt online racism/homophobia/misogyny looks like people posting hate-speech memes or calling people slurs. Just like the twitter interaction you mentioned. When you come across someone who's overtly racist or homophobic online, you're not going to be able to change them. These people won't take accountability. They may be capable of change when confronted with real life situations that require it. But online, they can curate their internet use to confirm their bigoted world view. So they don't feel they're in the wrong.

Passive online racism/homophobia/misogyny is when someone overlooks experiences and perspectives they're unfamiliar with. When you come across someone who's passively racist or homophobic online, they probably don't realize it. And then it can be constructive to point out a different perspective they didn't think of.

There's a big difference between these two online behaviors and the appropriate response to each. The first one has nothing to do with you. It's simply a weirdo online playing a game with themselves. The second one can be an opportunity for an interesting and positive discussion.

But you probably shouldn't be using twitter to talk to anyone about anything. It's the worst place to have a discussion. Leave twitter to the pros. The only thing it's good for is following journalists, scientists, and public figures. You can use it to keep up with professional feminist writers like Claire Heuchen or Jane Clare Jones. But don't bother with the random people arguing in the replies to their posts. Twitter is a terrible site for talking with random people.

I think tumblr is a better site for talking with anonymous random people. And there are several anonymous writers like sespursongles who've contributed incredible feminist essays through tumblr.

You broadly characterized women who discuss feminism on tumblr as "deeply homophobic." In my experience, I never see examples of overt homophobia when women discuss feminism here. I do see some passive homophobia from straight women. But half the women who post here are not straight. This is a site with a lot of lesbian and bi women. We regularly share our perspectives with straight women who are unfamiliar with them. So homophobia is a regular topic of discussion. Does that mean there's more homophobia on tumblr than anywhere else? Or does it just mean more gay people freely discuss homophobia on tumblr than anywhere else?

[almadaub]

istg tiktok is nothing but a shit hole of “queer” men promoting kinks to 14 years old, liberal feminist talking about how great and amazing is to be a sex worker at the age of nineteen and college girls convincing themselves that being a bimbo is empowering and cool

and when you think that you finally found someone with a little bit of rational thinking, finally some young woman who is not totally enchanted by porn and male validation they let you down by justifying themselves with the discourse of “FUCK TERFS !! transphobia bAd 🤢🤢 trans women are women 😍😍” after giving a semi-regular “problematic” take about sex work, gender, etc etc

like literally, the first screenshot it’s from a girl who calls herself a radfem but somehow managed to not be gender critical bc it’s so transphobic and wrong !!! and even then the whole comment section was bashing her for her “radical” feminism.

and the second video was one that absolutely amazed me when i watched it bc it said so many truths about how men profit of their relationship with women, even the platonic ones, and who they never stop seeing us a sexual objects to display for other men to see (even tho they know they’ll never get to fuck us). i was about to follow the second girl when i saw that in her bio said a very feminist “all terfs should be executed”

i loose hope every fucking day, the most controversial thing that these women let themselves say is “porn is bad” and “sex work positivity is predatory” and they STILL get attacked to the point that they have to clarify that they’re not the bad type of radfem !! and that they support trans rights !! it’s fucking insane.

in exchange men on tiktok get to hookup with minors without their careers being over, make rape jokes, attack every women that they see with a couple of extra pounds, laugh at their female partners and humiliate them and everything.is.ok

but you gotta be careful to have a fucking vagina and say something like hey !! 18 years old entering the porn industry it’s not okay bc people will come for you like there’s not tomorrow and wish you were dead

overall what makes me the most sad is the fact that these girls after seeing that people will get mad at every opinion that doesn’t involve glitter and shaking ass and being a teenager wearing fishnets and talking about neonpronouns, can’t dare themselves to just think outside the box, be problematic and loud and actually face social media’s mantras for once. no, they still decide to be “woke” and unproblematic and don’t go any way over line bc that will make them bad woman and that it’s just not aloud !

for god’s sake i just hope that there’s a brighter future for us young women when we stop being so afraid to speak and think

[redheadbigshoes]

This post is not about what I usually talk about here. Sometimes I go take a look at my followers bios just out of curiosity or just to see if there’s any terfs/radfems following me.

But something I saw in someone’s bio actually concerned me. It was a 13 year old and in their bio it said they’re engaged.

I don’t know the context to this, I don’t know if it’s a joke (I hope it is), but getting engaged at 13 is concerning. I don’t know whether that person’s partner is also a minor, but I’m pretty sure any type of romantic/sexual relationships in a lot of places, even between minors, is illegal. I won’t even begin if their partner is not a minor, that’s a crime.

Anyways, I also just wanted to vent that social media, Tumblr specifically, seems to normalize a lot of things, some of them shouldn’t be normalized.

[haemosexuality]

I hope you learn how to grow out of being a terf and transphobic + the transmisogyny that you seem to follow. Youre only 14 so thats just wrong of a path to go down that early in life, a hateful one at that. Youre whole bio is very disgusting with how you act towards trans people in general and agender is not a cis people thing just saying. So yeah its awful seeing someone who is 14 think that radfem views are a normal way of thinking, but for real grow out of those harmful ways for the btter.

Y'know, i dont really care with people being "uwuwuuwuwuwuywywu die terf!!!!", but THIS kind of message makes me LIVID.

No one forced me to be a radfem. No one forced me to be a "terf". No one indocrinated me, teached me, brainwashed me. I researched, I read, I studied, I thought. I spend MONTHS questioning everything I believed, questioning everything I saw, asking questions and analyzing the answers. I overthough everything I read, both from radical feminism as for queer stuff as for mainstream feminism, everything. I grew. I changed. I formed my own opinions by learning and thinking on my own. By not following what other people told me. I am grown. I've been a feminist since 2016, and those months were the ones were I most exercised my mind and actually thought about in what i believed in all those years. Fuck you.

I've always had kinda radfemish believes, but I never thought too hard about them. And when I was very deep into queer stuff and mainstream feminism I didn't question. I didn't thought. If I ever said anything that wasn't 100% approved by others I was told I was wrong, terf, aphobic, dumb, should die, whatever, instead of peoole fucking telling me why I was "wrong" and having a conversation about stuff. And when they did they had bad, circular arguments and didn't change my opinion at all. Your side of things doesn't let people fucking thing for their own. And you ahve the fucking nerve to come into my fucking blog and tell ME to grow up?

Get over yourself.

[tomie-anonymous]

OMG sooo my bio has radfem in it and I guess someone I’m not following who I reblogged from saw it, went into my dms to tell me never interact with them again, and blocked me LMAO... like... who is this person anyway? this girl was in her 20s and was so offended. Was so alarmed. That she sent me a dm and then blocked me. Just blocking people is too hard now I guess. I don’t like the confrontation but at the same time that was really funny

It’s the virtue signaling.

Well, that and being afraid that they will fall out of favor of trans activists. It allows them to feel good about their block, give themselves a pat on the back, and claim they’re a “trans ally” as well.

Honestly, if the person was actually female, the fear likely is doubled because she won’t want to fall out of the safety net that she has. Being called a “TERF” is one of her biggest fears, and she’ll find any way possible to avoid that.

[femvulvaphile]

I quote-retweeted someone who I don’t follow but know is in the same circle as some of my friends AND some ~queer terf-hating~ people, so I checked their bio and right at the end, there it was: “fascists and radfems aren’t even people”

usually that’s just annoying - like a bunch of feminists who, worst case scenario, yell at and make fun of people on the internet could EVER be comparable to literal WHITE NATIONALISTS and NEO-NAZIS 🙄🙄🙄

but with the current political and social changes here in Brazil, it terrified me.

this girl was putting me, and other women like me, on the same level as the people who elected someone even worse than Trump - a man that referred to having a daughter instead of a son as “weakening”. a man that explicitly said that, if he saw two men kiss on the street, he’d hit them. a man that’s been talking about killing/arresting anyone who disagrees with him. a man whose supporters have literally KILLED and harmed multiple people just for supporting the opposing political party.

if this girl thinks we’re the same, would she clap along if that man and his supporters came for me and other women who think like me? would she say I deserved it, for not thinking gender is an innate feeling? would she stand back and watch them, would she help them?

would she help me?