#sc sand

[stereopticons]

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: June 27

2019

Can I Get a Hallelujah? [david/patrick, M, 2,855] by @rideswraptors

Patrick's thoughts about his burgeoning relationship with David before they stay at Stevie's.

David-Proof [david/patrick, G, 1,205] by Westgate

Patrick keeps a David-proof budget that David doesn't know about. Until he does.

Door Closed [david/patrick, E, 3,132] by @wildxwired

It’s all Patrick’s fault. Mostly Patrick’s fault. About 70/30 Patrick’s fault. A year of having to plan the majority of their physical activity has not been easy, and now that, ironically, Patrick’s got his own place his hormones seem to have regressed to that of a teenager.

I Can't Fight This Feeling Any Longer [david/patrick, NR, 7,710] by deathbysandblk

Sebastien is back in town and Patrick decides to go have a chat with him. Meanwhile, David and Stevie are on a best friend fun adventure night and meet someone interesting!

me and all my friends (we can shake until the bitter end) [david & stevie, G, 2,259] by @thestarsarewinning

“What and why are we drinking?” “Um, I don't know, and today, some snippy teen told me that my life was a mess, so-“ “And I am now a single person.” ** Twyla’s drink making ability has not improved. This does not surprise Stevie. (or, the David, Twyla and Stevie friendship Dan Levy denied us)

nobody gets left behind. [david/patrick, T, 17,502] by @focksii

“Well, it’s a really interesting, mildly depressing story,” David tries to explain. “I, uh. Seem to have-. Left. At least one or two singular cells in New York, with the girl I was seeing just before we lost everything. When we came here, I tried to call her. She was the only person I called, actually. And she never answered the phone to tell me she was-.” He isn’t totally sure what’s most appropriate way to end that sentence. “Pregnant with your baby?” Patrick finishes, with absolutely no judgement in his voice. “Yeah,” David says, voice strained. “That.” OR A little boy with the Rose Family Eyebrows shows up at the motel.

The Debate [david/patrick, G, 453] by KJthePunkAssBookJockey

Patrick just wants to watch the first Democratic Presidential debate for 2020. David's not interested.

2020

A Matter of Perspective [david/patrick, T, 16,499] by @agoodpersonrose

"I told David that he had to be careful with them; they are very literal, and they don’t ask permission like other witches do.” “Witches--” Patrick trails off, frowning to himself. “Yeah, didn’t you know?” “Oh my God, David thought they were Mennonites.” Or, after the Roses leave Schitt's Creek, David and Alexis grow apart due to miscommunication. Three women offer their services to help the Rose siblings grow to understand each other, although their methods are unconventional to say the least. One day later, he wakes up in his sister's body, miles away from home.

All the Time You Need [david/patrick, G, 1,419] by @maxbegone

When Patrick was nine years old, his father and his grandfather taught him how to fish at this very spot; a muddy bed on the edge of a beautiful lake some forty minutes north of his grandfather’s house. -- Written for the prompt: a sad kiss.

as you wish [david/patrick, E, 42,065] by @sparklesmagiclightlove

“Remember the night of your mom’s movie premiere? We had sex while I was high on the—” “Magical wish-granting pain-killers.”“Right, and I know we were joking, but we— we talked about you putting a baby in me—”AKA the AU no one asked for where David and Patrick accidentally make a baby.

D’amour ou d’amitié [david/patrick, G, 276] by Lilibel

Je ne sais pas où je suis quelque part dans sa vieSi je compte aujourd'hui plus qu'une autre pour luiIl est si près de moi pourtant je ne sais pasComment l'aimerLui seul peut décider qu'on se parle d'amourOu d'amitié- Céline Dion « D’amour ou d’amitié »

Gift Giving [david/patrick, E, 4,002] by @streetlampsunset

David tells Patrick he loves him, but the things David gives him mean so much more. Patrick gives David a gift and it’s not nothing. Five things David gives Patrick and one gift Patrick gives David. Can be read as a oneshot.

if it was mine, I wouldn't've put it in my mouth [ronnie/reader, E, 3,571] by @whetherwoman

When Ronnie has you meet her at the cafe, it always puts you a little on edge. Which is, of course, the point.

Maison Valentino [david & alexis, G, 2,552] by bigficenergy

A surprise visit from Alexis gets David thinking more deeply about the fluidity of his wardrobe and identity.

Shake and shiver just to feel you breathe [david/patrick, E, 4,704] by @kiwiana-writes

They agreed, during one of their many discussions on the topic, that they won’t get anywhere near edgeplay unless David asks for what he wants specifically. David had shrugged off this requirement, saying he was happy to just roll with it in the moment, but Patrick had fixed him with the look he gets sometimes when David’s describing something from his past Patrick finds profoundly upsetting and reiterated that if David didn’t ask for it, it wasn’t going to happen. So David takes a deep breath, and he asks for what he wants.

Something Really Stupid [david/patrick, M, 13,000] by @agoodpersonrose

David meets Patrick for the first time the very same day his ex, Sebastien Raine is in town to photograph Moira.

Sunday Kind of Love [david/patrick, T, 4,183] by @simplymarleycat

It's a soft summer Sunday for the boys with a little surprise at the end.

The Color of My Life [david/patrick, NR, 27,366] by A_Pirates_Love_For_Me

.1% of the population is lucky enough to be born without being able to see color. It means that they have a soulmate out there for them to find, a person who will make their lives burst with color. There's only two problems: 1. Patrick doesn't believe in soulmates 2. David doesn't let anyone know that he's colorblind

2021

_Rosegold_ [david/patrick, T, 20,680] by ohhelloyou

Patrick Brewer is too nervous to talk to the new girl at school (Rachel), so he gets her AIM screen name (_Rosegold_) from a friend. He starts messaging her on AIM and finds himself practically glued to his keyboard, addicted to the teasing, flirtatious banter they've established. The only problem is that _Rosegold_ is not Rachel's screen name. It's David's. Or, an AOL Instant Messenger, high school AU riddled with popular songs from 2002.

All the Glory [david/patrick, M, 3,635] by @lisamc-21

David is thriving professionally and goes on vacation to NYC with Stevie. They decide to check out the Museum of Sex, where David encounters a cute tourist in mid-range denim.

Among Ash-Heaps and Millionaires [david/patrick, M, 55,138] by fairmanor

"There were people there that made me feel like I had never seen another human before. They made me feel like I had never lived. I had seen alcohol, but never crystalline fountains of sun and bubbles that slosh through your very veins and heart, cresting like a halo through my better judgement, a single glass more expensive than my Yale tuition. I had seen girls, but never these wandering, opal beauties that came and went like moths, fluttering and twinkling with an arresting confidence that made me believe every word they said. I had seen men, but never…never David Rose." A Great Gatsby AU.

Can You Marry Me? (For Financial Aid) [david/patrick, G, 4,844] by Reese_Taylor27

The fake dating/real feelings college au no one asked for.Based on that text exchange between two friends in college wanting a better FAFSA Application.

Jury Duty [david/patrick, E, 13,257] by @beaiola

“Session finished hours ago, you should have gone home already." David Rose hasn't been able to stop thinking about the defence attorney in the trial in which he's serving on the jury. He returns after hours to see if he can't break this stalemate. - After Moira mentioned the possibility of staging Chicago on the closing night of Cabaret, David can't stop thinking about Patrick-the-lawyer in a three-piece suit. They decide to spend a little time exploring the idea.

London, Love and All It Entails [david/patrick, E, 30,630] by @londonspirit

David and Patrick love each other.This is the story of how they met, fell in love, lost each other (for a little while), found each other again and navigated their lives throughout the years.(Just read, it's worth it, I promise. I'm also terrible at summaries so there's that.)

Of Schlegels and Bennets and Dashwoods and more [david & alexis, G, 1,810] by @missewoodhouse

Apparently I'm turning this into a series now. More Literary Musings - this time on David and Alexis.Through the lens of sibling relationships in some of my favorite Brit Lit. Alternating POVs

Where Words Fail [david/patrick G, 2,275] by @mostlyinthemorning

Clint and Marcy are caught off guard after watching a video of Open Mic Night on YouTube.

2022

Art [david/patrick, T, 1,924] by @treluna4

It was a glorious morning. The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and Patrick Brewer was once again stuck behind the front desk at Rose Apothecary with a massive hard-on. If only there was a way to make it go away. If only there was something so completely ridiculous, something so totally unappealing, that it could make Patrick stop thinking about his sexy business partner so he could finish setting up the store before their grand opening.

2023

800 Dollar Pants [david & stevie, G, 110] by @gingerann

What you write on your skin shows up on your soulmate's skin. David is having problems. Patrick is less than sympathetic.

2024

Fuschia [david/patrick, M, 200] by @ramonaflow

This is my first attempt at a double drabble

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017 or 2018 2019: 7 fics/35,116 words 2020: 11 fics/119,637 words 2021: 8 fics/132,269 words 2022: 1 fic/1,924 words 2023: 1 fic/110 words 2024: 1 fic/200 words Total: 29 fics/289,256 words

[farm-witches-fic-recs]

Any recs featuring minor characters, with or without David and/or Patrick? If that's too specific, how about Twyla to start?

Hi friend!

We'll do better than that. Here's a round up with a smattering of everyone:

Clint and Marcy

all the joy that is to come - @myolivebranch

Clint and Marcy - houdini74 (@mostlyinthemorning)

Good People - @trueillusion82

he hung the moon so he could paint the stars… - startswithhope (@language-of-love)

He Shines - @smallumbrella369

He’s Not Coming Home (Because He’s Already There) - @delilah-mcmuffin

Make it Better - @agoodpersonrose

an old-fashioned man - the_hodag

You Might Say I'm Here for You - @weathereyehorizon

Rachel

Filled your cup until it overflowed - yourbuttervoicedbeau (@kiwiana-writes)

I'm no aesthete - firmandfruity

Meant to Be - @trueillusion82

Ray

A Day With Ray - AWorldOfDreams

MURDER in Schitt's Creek - @rosedavid

Swiping Regret - @treepyful

You look fine - @lizzie-bennetdarcy

Ronnie

Climbed a mountain and I turned around - another_Hero

Come In From The Cold - Amanita_Fierce, @doublel27

Conference Companions - @rosedavid

Conflict Control Group - @authorbynight

Finding Her Own Way - @statueinthestone

Five Times Ronnie Was a Friend to David and One Time She Was a Friend to Patrick - @unfolded73

A Good Breakfast Ruined - @mallpretzles

A Little Less Alone - @neelyo67

When the Tiers Start to Fall (I Won't Wipe Them Away) - @landofsonlali

Stevie

between nothing but the thin air and the unknown - @dinnfameron

bound to happen - @apothecarose

Fit - @wellschitt

Fresh Coat of Paint - @doublel27

Home at Last - @januarium, RhetoricalQuestions (@rhetoricalk)

I Don't Wanna Talk - @jettestar

I never saw it happening - yourbuttervoicedbeau (@kiwiana-writes)

A Paradigm of Stitches - middyblue

Towels - therapychicken

you got me (and i get you) - middyblue

Twyla

All my secrets are safe in your heart as well… - RhetoricalQuestions (@rhetoricalk), Typewrites

Captive on the carousel of time - @designatedgrape

Doing What Makes You Smile - @alysiswritingao3fics

Everything That We'd Ever Need - middyblue

Hide Your Diamonds, Hide Your Exes - middyblue

Hop on the Purple Line - @kindofspecificstore

i got a feeling (there's a miracle due) - doingthemost (@sarahlevys)

Knits by Twyla - edriss (@pretendtofly)

and my task’s but begun - @treepyful only if you let me - roseapothecarys

[scfrozenover]

It's the last day of reveals! We hope you've enjoyed all the wonderful holiday fics so far, and here are a few more tasty treats!

Creator reveals will begin one week from today (12/30)!

*❄️*

DAY SIX REVEALS

Merry Christmas, David Rose

[David/Patrick, E, 14,031 words]

He doesn’t have any intention of staying in Schitt’s Creek, he knows it’s a stepping stone on his path to, hopefully, something better for him.

And he can’t imagine working here for too long: a shopping mall named Pa-Ray-dise, for a ridiculous man that insists on using his face as a marketing strategy –despite Alexis’ best efforts.

He exhales and looks at the people closing their stores and getting ready to go home. In front of him, on the lower floor, he observes how Alexis’ brother closes the store he works in and starts rolling a scarf around his neck as he walks towards the exit. The thought that he’s beautiful surprises Patrick, who’s never thought about a man on those terms before. But he is. Jet black hair, perfectly coiffed, long lean legs, a strong upper body wrapped in an expensive looking coat…

David. His name is David, his brain supplies.

Patrick watches him leave, feeling unsettled by the sudden impulse to follow the man, and a strange sensation unexpectedly lodged on his gut.

*❄️*

A Cold Winter's Night

[David/Patrick, T, 5,148 words]

They fell asleep not long after sliding between the covers, Patrick spooning David, as they often did, already dreaming of the white Christmas he hoped they’d wake up to, and the prospect of sharing more Brewer holiday traditions with his husband in the morning.

What he didn’t expect was to wake up in the wee hours of the morning with chattering teeth and David clinging to him like a koala bear, not to mention a distinct chill in the air that was most definitely not right.

*❄️*

Johnny on the Spot

[David/Patrick, G, 3,727 words]

Patrick and David visit the Brewers for Christmas for the first time since Patrick has moved to Schitt's Creek.

*❄️*

we'll take a cup of kindness yet

[David & Rachel, G, 1,945 words]

He hasn’t actually seen Rachel since that fateful day at the motel. She didn’t come to the wedding, though she was invited. He knows that she and Patrick have been talking more and more, trying to work their way across the crevasse of time and history to becoming what they always should have been, which is best friends. David’s interactions with her have been minimal, though, and he definitely wasn’t expecting to see her here—he doesn’t do well with surprises, especially when that surprise is his husband’s ex-fiancée looking at mediocre cheese.

David runs into Rachel while on an errand for Marcy and it's definitely not weird at all.

*❄️*

[podfic] Friends and Family Night

[Stevie/Twyla, G, 17:01]

“I want to meet Twyla,” David said as he plopped into a seat next to Stevie’s desk. She raised her eyebrows at him in what she hoped was a very clear ‘no.’

~

Aka, the Score adjacent fic where David wants to meet Stevie's girlfriend Twyla.

 *❄️*

CREATORS: If your works were released today, please don’t forget to update your posting date!

[endermen-impasta]

I haven't Posted in a While!

So, I haven't posted in a while and I wanted you guys to see the baby growing in appearance once more! If you guys didn't know, I updated the Separate AU on AO3 and Wattpad. Koine replaced Alastor (( because it made more sense )) and now that we're into the story, we have a solid base on what's gonna happen! The comic update is hopefully coming soon! Bye-Bye my cinnabuns!!

Here's Koine's Ref sheet as well. 🍄

[pamwmsn]

visit_beaufortsc

Observation tower at Sands Beach, Port Royal SC. High tide. 

[stereopticons]

On this Day in Schitt's Creek: May 25

2019

Checking for Damage [david/patrick, T, 536] by @vodka-rocks-and-a-piece-of-toast

Mapping Patrick is a standard cure for insomnia.

selfless [ted/alexis, E, 1,501] by @schmittsglasses

Alexis gives. Ted learns to take.

Undercover [david/patrick, T, 8,761] by @mostlyinthemorning

AU where the Roses keep their money and Johnny sends David and Alexis to Schitt's Creek to investigate a proposal from a cute store owner.

2020

[Podfic] Dear Jurisprudence [david/patrick, M, podfic] by Amanita_Fierce

They've never talked this much about Ray in bed before. David doesn't think he likes it. [Podfic of Dear Jurisprudence, written by Likerealpeopledo]

A Slice of Heaven [david/patrick, G, 1,240] by bigficenergy

He also enjoys watching David eat, because it’s clear that he really enjoys food. He’s alternating between a slice of margherita and a slice of classic pepperoni like he’s trying to decide which he likes better, but he’s savoring each bite from from either more or less equally. Sometimes he’ll close his eyes and tip his head back happily while he chews, and Patrick is so deeply, embarrassingly smitten with him.

and by tomorrow i'll be on my way [david/patrick, T, 17,002] by @hullomoon

In real life David and Patrick wouldn't want to be in the same room as the other, online however they're close friends. or a You've Got Mail AU

Bucolic Creek [gen, G, poem] by not_yet_defined

Someone on a fan page asked for haiku for David and Patrick's wedding.

deeper than i've ever dreamed of [david/patrick, G, 365] by @supergenericandshrill

A series of short(ish) stories about the times David and Patrick have dreamt of each other throughout their relationship. Canon compliant, each chapter is a contained story that can be read individually. Rating and tags will be updated as the story progresses.

I never saw it happening [david/patrick, M, 3,516] by @kiwiana-writes

7 (+1) times Stevie hears the name Patrick Brewer.

Love Hurts [david/patrick, T, 1,892] by @deenerann

I needed a break from a longer work, so here's a quick Meet Ugly. Maybe I'll make a series of these?Undecided.

Mozarella Sticks, Accidental Dates, and Mulan on Repeat [david/patrick, G, 1,124] by @gingerann

David is on a date with Patrick, Olivia has questions.

No use in pretending, no use in saving face. My love is never ending, you are my saving grace - a series of season six vignettes [david/patrick, E, 1,000] by @cheesecurdsgravyandfries

A series of ten very short vignettes highlighting conversations, or other situations, we never saw on-screen during season six. Follows Hold me now, it's hard for me to say I'm sorry - a series of season five vignettes which follows Like a virgin - a series of season four vignettes. Title is from Ben Harper's By My Side .

Pomp(adour) and Circumstance [david/patrick, G, 2,530] by @grapehyasynth

They’ve put this off as long as they could. At the beginning of lockdown, David had been all breezy with his “It won’t last long” and “I’ll just style it higher”. As they started to stare down two months of quarantine, however, frantic noises had started to issue from the bathroom each morning as David attempted to wrangle his hair into something approaching his standard pompadour. Or: David (very reluctantly) lets Patrick cut his hair.

the sun's gonna rise again [david/patrick, T, 13,658] by sonichallows

Patrick Brewer is used to being bored romantically. David Rose is used to being treated like shit romantically. Little do they know, their paths are about to cross. Alternate universe where Patrick wrote Songs From a Broken Chair.

Wolf ˈShitē [claudia stilinski/sheriff stilinski, T, 3,718] by zoemack10

!It's Teen Wolf but told in the tune of Schitt's Creek! The Stilinskis lose everything after the CFO of Noah Stilinski's advertising firm is caught embezzling and misleading the share holders. With nowhere to go, and none of their inner circle offering help, the Stilinski's head back to Noah's unfortunately named hometown in northern California, Wolf ˈShitē. Here they attempt to acclimate to living within their (lack of) means and end up becoming #blessed thanks to the people who reside in the ˈShitē-hole. If you like Schitt's Creek, and you like Teen Wolf, this is the niche fic for you.

2021

[Podfic] ours, always [david/patrick, G, podfic] by Amanita_Fierce

patrick really loves rose apothecary and doesn't understand why anyone wouldn't feel the same way. Podfic of ours, always by sonlali.

Gloria in Exclesis [david/patrick, G, poem] by elifisher96

your name to me is akin to religion

I'm Here for You [david/patrick, G, poem] by elifisher96

I'm not here for your sister noI'm here for you

May I?: A Smutty Twylexis Drabble Collection [alexis/twyla, E, 1,183] by TwylasCafeTropical

12 smutty Twylexis drabbles, written by an assortment of Twylexis authors! These drabbles are all stand-alone, and are not intended to be continuations of each other. We'll add tags as needed, and we'll also link each drabble's author and specific rating at the top of each chapter. Hope you enjoy them!

rise and spin / over and over again [alexis/twyla, T, 2,384] by singsongsung

The apartment is dark when Alexis gets home, curtains drawn, air heavy. She wants to give in to the darkness, to curl up in it – but she also wants to pull her wife out. Seven moments of grief, and one moment of hope.

Ten Kisses [david/patrick, T, 16,622] by @patrickredactedbrewer

“In the whole year, all 364 days of it, the only thing you had to do is get 10 kisses, and the year just ‘got away from you’?” David sounds amused, but sort of fond, so Patrick chances a glance at his face. He’s smiling his tiny, twisted half-smile and his eyes are twinkling away, like he’s willing to humor Patrick but they both know what’s really going on here. Or, Patrick made a resolution to kiss 10 men this year, and David decides to help him keep it.

What Comes First [alexis/rachel, G, 368] by @this-is-not-nothing

Rachel and Alexis have brunch in Brooklyn Takes place loosely in slash inspired by Neely's very own Give in to Love series

2022

[Podfic] It's Always Who You Least Eggspect [patrick & stevie, G, podfic] by HowOldAreWe

Stevie talks Patrick into some petty crime.

Perfect | Flawed [patrick/rachel, G, poem] by elifisher96

something about this seems right; | nothing about this seems right;

please don't let me disappear [david/patrick, G, 352] by @aoubooming

Just a taste of Patrick's thoughts between The Barbecue and The Olive Branch.

suffocating [david/patrick, G, poem] by elifisher96

i’m suffocating i can’t breathe

wish list [david/patrick, G, 470] by @aoubooming

David and Patrick used to wish for a lot of things. Just a little drabble/itemized wish lists.

2023

all the pretty boys walk like this [david/patrick, G, 400] by @enablelove

David and Patrick's date, if Patrick walked David home instead.

No Hesitation [david/patrick, E, 1,296] by @panzyqueen

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017, 2018, or 2024 2019: 3 fics/10,798 words 2020: 12 fanworks (10 fics, 1 podfic, 1 poem)/46,071 words 2021: 7 fanworks (4 fics, 1 podfic, 2 poems)/20,991 words 2022: 5 fanworks (2 fics, 1 podfic, 2 poems)/1,241 words 2023: 2 fics/1,696 words Total: 29 fanworks (21 fics, 3 podfics, 5 poems)/80,797 words

[sprinklecipher]

What Do You Call That Bug: Bug Map Survey Results 2.0

The results are in for wave 2 of my survey about the vernacular names for a particular kind of bug! Before I get into it, I should mention that I’ve left the survey open to allow for possible future waves of data analysis, so if you haven’t completed the survey but would like to, you may do so here (be aware that the survey contains a photo of the bug in question!). Also, if you’d just like to see a photo of the relevant bug, you may do so here.

Including the data from wave 1, I got a total of 1,091 survey responses. I’ll include a detailed breakdown of the sample at the end for reference, but the important things to know are that a majority of respondents (78%) are American, and that I advertised the survey on both Tumblr and Reddit (r/SampleSize) this time, so I’ve included a couple of Reddit vs Tumblr subsample comparisons.

With that out of the way, onto the results!

Names for That Bug

Here’s how often each of the names for That Bug were selected, specifically among respondents who were familiar with the bug (how I defined “familiar” is included at the end, for the curious):

For the sample overall, “Jerusalem cricket” is solidly the most commonly-selected name, being chosen by a majority of respondents (57.2%). “Potato bug” was a distant second at 34.1%, followed by sand cricket at 17.8%. All other terms were fairly uncommon, with a selection rate of ~5% or less.

Respondents were allowed to select multiple names, but most only selected a single term (249/320, or ~78% of the familiar respondents). However, among familiar respondents who selected more than 1 name, nearly half specifically selected the combination of “Jerusalem cricket” and “potato bug” (32 selecting that combination vs. 38 selecting some other combination of names).

A number of respondents wrote that they would just call That Bug a “cricket”, which I considered too general to group with the other names that are more specific to That Bug. A pretty solid handful of folks guessed that it might be a mole cricket, but that’s actually a different critter (although it does look very similar and so it is understandable that it could be confused for That Bug). A few folks also guessed that it was a weta, which also looks quite similar and is in fact fairly closely related to That Bug, being part of the same superfamily (Stenopelmatoidea).

Names by Region

Here’s how the selected names varied by US region:

“Jerusalem cricket” was the top name across the board, but how dominant it was over “potato bug” and “sand cricket” varied a bit. “Child of the Earth” also appears to be more common in the West than elsewhere, which is worth examining further.

What happens when you look at the more specific sub-regions? Let’s find out!

“Jerusalem cricket” is reasonably common everywhere (although it ranges from being selected just under half the time to roughly 2/3rds of the time):

“Potato bug” varies much more dramatically by sub-region, being selected by a majority of respondents in the Pacific West but occurring much less often elsewhere, including the neighboring Mountain West, where it was only selected ~13% of the time!:

“Sand cricket” was somewhat uncommon across most sub-regions with a roughly 20-30% selection rate, on average, although it was notably less common in the Pacific West than anywhere else (only ~6%!):

Finally, “Child of the Earth” occurred rarely or never in most sub-regions, but emerged as a somewhat uncommon but not outright rare term in the Mountain West:

Notably, every single familiar respondent from New Mexico (n = 4 only, but still) selected “Child of the Earth”. It was also selected by a handful of respondents in Arizona and California, lending credence to it possibly being a Southwestern regional term.

Overall, one of the striking differences across sub-regions is the extent to which “Jerusalem cricket” is selected relative to “potato bug”, as shown here:

Notably, the Pacific West, unlike all other regions, showed a preference for “potato bug” over “Jerusalem cricket”. This was fascinating to me, so I looked into it a little more, and it appears that this is driven predominantly by Californians preferring “potato bug” (66%:45%), since Oregonians and Washingtonians preferred “Jerusalem cricket”:

It’s worth noting that a few other states besides California (Illinois, Michigan, South Carolina, and New Hampshire) show numerical preference for “potato bug” over “Jerusalem cricket,” but each of them has very small sample sizes (<10 familiar respondents), so I wouldn’t take the pattern too seriously for those other states.

Sample sizes for state-level maps are generally QUITE small (the sub-region maps are already probably pushing it a bit, tbh), but what if we throw caution to the wind and look at the most commonly selected name for each state anyway? HUGE asterisk to this map in that a pretty substantial majority of states are based on very small sample sizes and so this should be taken with a MAJOR grain of salt, but here’s what you get (it’s probably the closest I’ve come to my original Bug Map vision so far ~):

Shout-out to the sole Rhode Island respondent who was able to unilaterally dictate that Rhode Island, in contrast to all other states, would have “sand cricket” as the state’s preferred term for That Bug on my silly map. That’s the kind of power I aspire to every day :)

Anyway, to sum up, “Jerusalem cricket” is generally the preferred name for That Bug, but “potato bug” is its most common name in California (and potentially a few other states), and “Child of the Earth” is its preferred name in New Mexico (and may generally be a regional term in the Southwestern US).

Familiarity with That Bug

Overall, 29.3% of respondents were familiar with That Bug. And, unsurprisingly, given that it’s a North American insect, Americans were significantly more familiar with it than non-Americans, with 34.3% of American respondents recognizing the bug, compared to 11.3% of non-Americans.

Here’s how the familiarity rate varies by sub-region:

Overall, respondents from the Western US were more familiar with That Bug than were respondents from Eastern states, with the Pacific West having the highest percentage of respondents who recognized the bug (45.8%) and the Mid-Atlantic having the lowest among Americans (22.8%), although the familiarity rate among Mid-Atlantic respondents was still twice that of non-Americans (11.3%).

 Tumblr vs Reddit Comparisons

A significantly higher percentage of the Tumblr sample was familiar with That Bug (34.8%) compared to the Reddit subsample (17.3%), with this pattern extending to both American and non-American respondents:

I suspect this difference is likely due to the tagging and reblogging features of Tumblr meaning that the survey was likely seen by a greater proportion of “bug enthusiasts” on Tumblr compared to Reddit.

In support of that explanation, the Tumblr comments about the bug were more likely to be positive rather than negative in tone (47:34), while the reverse was true for the Reddit sample (16:6; a statistically significant difference, fwiw, at χ2 = 6.55, p = .01):

From this, I would suspect that the Reddit familiarity rate is probably more accurate to the general population, although I would suspect that it is probably still inflated from the “true” percentage, since respondents had to opt-in to filling out a survey about a bug to be counted at all.

The Reddit/Tumblr subsamples were otherwise generally pretty similar to each other.

Conclusions

In sum, That Bug is relatively obscure, with only around a third of Americans and a tenth of non-Americans recognizing it. Among those who did recognize it, That Bug was most widely known as a “Jerusalem cricket”, but its other names saw some use, too. “Potato bug” was the most common term for it among Californians, for example, while New Mexicans preferred “Child of the Earth.” And, of course, our esteemed Rhode Island representative went with “sand cricket” ~

Personally, I’m from the Western US, and before doing this project, I’d never heard of the term “potato bug” used for anything other than roly-polies (and, based on the comments, I’m not the only one with this experience). It’s fascinating to me how these common names can refer to wildly different things, without people even necessarily being aware of the potential alternate meanings!

I do wonder, however, whether a subset of respondents might have selected “potato bug” because they’d heard the term before, but potentially had (without their knowledge) only heard it being used to refer to a different kind of bug entirely. I don’t have a great way to test that currently, but I am considering doing a follow-up survey about that some day.

Anyway, that’s all for now! Thanks again to everyone who completed the survey or who read any of this! <3

---

Other Stuff

Wave 1 results post

Familiarity definition: Respondents were considered “familiar” with That Bug for the purposes of this analysis if they did NOT select the “I am unfamiliar with this bug” option AND provided a valid name for the bug, either by selecting one of the provided options OR providing a specific name in the “other” text. Overly vague responses (e.g., “cricket”) or names of other bugs (e.g., mole cricket) were not considered valid names for this purpose.

Sample details: Here’s a couple of tables with the sample broken down by source and region. The non-parenthetical numbers are the total responses and the parenthetical numbers are the number of “familiar” respondents.

[seraphicstrings]

like for a starter, one to three lines only. or reply with an emoji and i'll come plot w you.

[myrtlebeachdreamlife]

Ocean Creek Condos for Sale: The Ultimate Beachside Living Experience

Searching for the perfect beachside property? Look no further than Ocean Creek Condos for sale. Located just steps from the beach, these spacious condos offer luxury living with an unbeatable combination of ocean views and exceptional amenities. Take advantage of everything from swimming pools to walking trails and more, making it easy to live the resort lifestyle year-round.

[farm-witches-fic-recs]

Greetings and blessings, farm witch friends!

The coven has come again to humbly request that you would share some of your very favorites with us to pass along to the community.

We'd very much enjoy seeing your recs for fics that include family and friends: the Roses, the Brewers, the townies, and other assorted characters.

What are the fics you love with great family or sibling moments, besties, or parents?

Give us your recs HERE by Wednesday, May 15 to be included on the list!

[rozanallidawi]

Hello guys

I am Rozan Ayman Fathi, 24 years old

I ask you to read these lines and help me so that I can save my family

Consisting of 7 individuals

I live with my beloved family in the Gaza Strip, specifically in Gaza City. When the war began, we were displaced from our dear home and dearest to my heart to tents in the city of Rafah (we do not know whether it is still standing or whether it was demolished by bombings and shelling). We were always moving from one shelter to another seeking shelter. For protection, and when Rafah was invaded, we were displaced and moved again to tents in Mawasi Khan Yunis. We were very tired, especially my mother, as she is sick with diabetes and gallstones.

Life in a tent is torment, pain, and oppression, a life without the minimum necessities of life, where there is no bedding, no flooring, sand surrounds you from all sides, no sanitary facilities, no water, whether for bathing or cleaning, and no drinking water. There are no detergents. Canned food is scarce and of poor quality

We miss fresh food,

Very high temperatures inside and outside the tent

The spread of dangerous infectious diseases, insects, toxic organisms, and other difficult matters of life, in addition to the danger of bombing and death that lurks around us every minute..

[aeristudios]

see you, space cowboy (epilogue)

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: It's been almost a year since everything has happened, and you're ready to come home—to the man who never stopped waiting. .𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: bounty hunter!Wonwoo x bounty hunter!reader, brief mentions of other members (Jeonghan, Soonyoung, Mingyu and Seungcheol) .𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, sc-fi, smut, fluff, lovers to enemies to ???, cowboy bebop elements, space au, established relationship, neo-noir, dystopian-ish if you squint .𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: PLEASE READ ALL THE WARNINGS! heavy angst, very strong language, mentions of murder/attempted murder, gun violence, morally grey characters, grief, guilt/self blame, kissing, very messy oral (f. receiving), nipple play, fingering, nail digging, unprotected sex, missionary, creampie, and still lots and lots of yearning .𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 2.2K .𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝐀𝐍: Reader's nickname is Silver and the reason for the nickname is explained in the main story attached to this: See You, Space Cowboy. I highly encourage you to read that story first because this epilogue will make more sense. I wasn't planning on writing another part to this, but you guys really loved the story and wanted to know what was going to happen to them after this. Tbh, so did I. I loved writing these two and I shed a lot of tears writing their story. Ugh I hope this love finds me one day lol. Thank you to @lovetaroandtaemin & @wooahaeproductions for looking at this with me and thank you again @hobeemin for the banner 🖤

main story visual concept #1 visual concept #2 playlist

The sand here is warmer than you remember. 

It almost feels like silk, running your fingers over the tiny grains that sparkle like gold in the sunlight. The forever tropical breeze sways your hair off your shoulders, your silver hair shining like a beacon in the sun. The waters crash against the rocks, revealing the hidden coral, and you stand there in awe. 

The Sanctuary— your safe place, your peace. 

It’s been almost a year since you took out Aeron and showed the galaxy what a murderer he was, clearing your name with all the evidence you gathered with the help of Selene. There was no trial; his death was written up as self-defense, and no one was going to question more than they needed to. Wonwoo was placed as the interim head of The Organization and had to learn quickly how to take over the ropes and be the Boss. You stayed at a hideaway spot on a neighboring planet, with nothing but oceans for miles and a small island with a house and everything you needed. Jeonghan and Sohee visited often and kept you company, while Mingyu and Soonyoung came to drop off supplies at Wonwoo's request, keeping you alive during your self-isolation. 

The thing is, you could have come back as soon as your name was cleared, resumed your bounty hunter status, and gone back to the life you had before. Wonwoo begged for you to come back, to be with him, and as much as your heart yearned and your body ached for him, you weren’t ready. You were a debilitating mess, and you needed to heal, and bless Wonwoo for wanting to see you through that, but you needed to be alone. You needed to properly mourn and grieve. 

God, Wonwoo is a saint. You’ve put him through so much, and you’re still the sun that rises for him. He sent you updates without you asking, and sometimes you replied, sometimes you were so deep in your pain that you would shut off your phone for days and pretend nothing existed. You’re a shitty fiance; you know that, and you firmly believe that he deserves better than what you have been giving him. 

So why are you here?

Simply put, you miss him. 

Your time apart from him has been agonizing, eating you alive every day. You needed time to heal, but you are ready to come back into the fold. To come back home, which has always been with him. You’ve thought about it a lot; all you could dream about was him. The time you shared your first kiss, when he told you he loved you for the first time, when he asked you to marry him, etc. Your thoughts were loud even when it was quiet, and you knew it was time to quit wallowing in your self-pity and to be the partner Wonwoo deserved. 

You sent him the message yesterday. Just two words.

 “Tomorrow. Sanctuary.” 

He didn’t respond, but you know that he’ll come. Wonwoo has never let you down; you’re the fuck up in this relationship, after all. 

So here you are, standing on this beach with the sand between your feet, your stomach in knots as you wait with bated breath to see your beautiful man. You close your eyes, letting the wind grace your cheeks as you try to drown out the voices of doubt in your head, and just for a moment, just breathe. 

But then you hear the sound of boots crushing the sand, and your heart starts to pound in your chest, threatening to break free. You slowly turn and look at him, the wind picking up as you are finally face to face with the love of your life. His hair is a little longer now, barely touching the back of his neck, and he almost seems taller? Maybe you’ve been apart too long, and it’s fucking with your psyche. You don’t know. 

But one thing remains the same: his eyes. They are deep and soft when he looks at you. You still see home, your saving grace. 

“Hey there, space cowboy.” 

Wonwoo chuckles at his nickname, raking his fingers through his hair. The sun shines on him in the right way, and there isn’t a lens in the world that could do him justice. 

“Hey, my pretty girl,” he says, pulling you closer to him. You breathe in his familiar cologne, trying to keep the tears behind your eyes at bay, but you’re struggling. You love him so much; he is your lifeline. You hope that you will always find each other in the next life.

“I’m surprised you came.” You say, your voice is trembling. “I thought you’d be sick of my shit by now.” 

“There you go, still not trusting me,” he tsks. 

“Oh, stop, you know it’s not that—”

“No, it’s literally that,” Wonwoo interrupts. “How many times do I have to tell you—or better yet, show you—that I’m not going anywhere? I would do anything for you, baby. You ask me to leap, and I will. You ask me to shoot, and I’ll pull the trigger, no questions asked. I love you. “

His eyes peer into yours, penetrating your soul and leaving you vulnerable. There’s always been talk about how you're the sun that rises and sets for Wonwoo… but he is your twin moons, his soft light guiding you through your darkness. He’s your anchor, your rock, your peace. You were made for each other, and it’s never been clearer. 

“I left you,” you say tearfully. “You needed me, too, and I stayed gone. It’s okay to be mad at me. Scream at me! Do something!” 

“Silver,” the sound of your name makes your heart flutter. “You were never really gone.”

He points at your engagement ring, sparkling in all of its glory. You knew he always looked out for you, even when you couldn’t do it yourself. 

“God, you are such a romantic,” you scoff, rolling your eyes playfully. 

“Only for you, baby..” 

You shake your head, looking across the horizon as the sun begins to set, the sun turning into a stunning display of red and orange hues. You think about everything that has happened to get you where you are now, and even though your name is clear, how can you return to the way things were?

“So, what’s going to happen when we go back?” You decide to rip off the band-aid. 

Wonwoo kicks the sand around, and you see he is choosing his words before responding. 

“I stepped down.”

You look at him, your mouth open in shock as disbelief runs through you. “Y-you stepped down? Is it because of me?”

“Yes, but not in the way you think,” he says, gauging your expression. “I don’t want to be the head of The Organization. That’s what Aeron wanted, that’s what he trained me for. I love the missions and all that, but being the head meant longer hours, less missions, and not being home with you. I would hate that, and I already fucking resent it.” 

You study him, unsure about how you feel about this. “Are you sure? Don’t feel like you need to baby me, Wonwoo. I can take care of myself.” 

“Silver, stop.” His voice is firm but gentle, keeping you in check. “I know you are capable of handling things on your own. But my point is that we would not have the life we have always discussed if I took over. I’m still on the board and made sure you are on it too. So we still get a say in major decisions. “

“Okay,” you think it over. “So, who is taking over?” 

“I nominated Choi Seungcheol to take over. He’s capable and has the mindset to lead.” Wonwoo pauses, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I just want my job and you. Everything will be fine.”

You know of Seungcheol, and though you weren’t friends, you have to admit he is a good bounty hunter. He’s number three behind you and Wonwoo, and the few times you had to do jobs with him, you knew he had your back. Maybe the future isn’t so bleak after all. 

“So what I am hearing is, you still want to marry me?” You tease him.

Wonwoo’s expression softens as he pulls you closer, your lips barely brushing against his. 

“Of course. I’m going to love you for the rest of my life and the next one after.”

“Wonwoo, just kiss me already.”

 His lips crash against yours, his arms wrapped around your waist as your legs buckle at his embrace. His lips taste familiar, like the peace of home you have been missing for almost a year. You are done with the self-deprivation— you want him. Need him. And judging by the way he grabs your ass, he feels the same way. 

“I need you,” you whisper against his lips. 

“I know, baby, “ he says in between kisses. “I booked our favorite room on the way here.” 

Biting your lip, you let him lead you across the beach towards one of the many rooms in the Sanctuary, taking out the key card and tapping it on the reader. He opens the door to a spacious room with a soft king-size bed, expansive windows, and an open sliding door, inviting the ocean air in. You barely enter before your lips find his again, tearing off his shirt and throwing it across the room. You feel him smirk against your lips, unbuttoning your jeans and shoving them down your legs. Your desire for him is carnal, haunting even, and you need him inside of you now. 

“Fuck me, please,” you beg, undoing his belt. “It’s been so long.” 

“Aren’t we needy today?” he teases you. 

“I’m needy all the time.” 

“Touche.” 

He takes off his pants, revealing his stiff cock, and it makes you salivate. In your time apart, you’ve touched yourself to that night in the shower over and over, reminiscing the time he tasted and fucked you like it was the last time you would have that again. Now, you will have many more to come. 

You let him slowly take off your panties, spreading your legs wide as he looks at the sweet nectar between your legs. He licks his lips, grabbing you by your hips and pulling you closer to his face. He takes one long lick in between your folds, his tongue playfully brushing against your clit. 

“Please,” you breathe. “Wonwoo, please.” 

He obliges, eating you like a man with a purpose, to satisfy you. He nips at your thighs just the way you like it, spitting on your clit and sucking you all the same. He is dirty, filthy, sliding his fingers inside you and out of you, and tasting each time. Your eyelids are heavy, and you are on a high,  watching Wonwoo get pussy drunk off you, and it’s taking everything in you to not cum in his mouth. 

“You feel so good,” you cry out. “I missed you.” 

He hums in agreement, the vibrations from his mouth sending jolts throughout your legs. You take off your shirt, your fingers brushing against your nipples, pinching your hardening mounds. With one last lick, Wonwoo stands up, his face wet with your arousal dripping off his chin as he hovers over you. You lift up to meet his lips, tasting yourself on his tongue and understanding his addiction. Your legs wrap around him as he enters you with one smooth, slow thrust.

“Fuck,” you cry out, feeling relief and instant gratification. 

“I know, baby, I know.” 

He moves slowly at first, deep and intentional, like every motion is an act of forgiveness. Your fingers are in his hair. You look into his eyes and nod, giving him the okay to take you however he wants. 

He does that. His pace starts to build, rocking the bed against the wall as he fucks you harder, spilling your name from his pretty mouth. Your nails dig into his back, begging for more as the sound of slapping skin and moans fills up the room, not caring who hears you outside. You’ve never felt more alive, watching his cock slide in and out of you with such earnest, begging for your sugarness to cover him once again. 

“Wonwoo, I—” 

“Go ahead. Give it to me.” 

Your back arches as you see those familiar white stars, sending you over the edge as your release feels like a resurrection. Your legs shake; you're breathless,  sweaty and fucked out. He follows shortly after, spilling inside of you, his body trembling against yours. 

He doesn’t move, and neither do you. You stay wrapped around him, basking in the heat, sweat, and salt of everything you thought you’d lost. Your heart beats against his, a kindred soul in all this, confirming that you have your person and will never let him go. 

“I love you, Jeon Wonwoo.” 

He lifts up slowly, smiling softly as he kisses you sweetly, his thumb brushing against your cheek. “I love you more, Silver. I always have, and I always will.” 

You smile softly, returning his affection as you continue to make up for lost time, taking advantage of your new lease on your lives. At the end of the day, it will always be you and him. 

The Sanctuary, that is you and him—still standing.

And outside, the sea keeps living.

Just like you.

thank you for reading!! I can't believe we are done...

or are we? if you are interested in any spinoffs from some of the other characters in the story, comment, reblog or send an ask <3

[endermen-impasta]

Sperated AU: Chapter 6

Before you go read the book guys, keep in mind the angst going on rn. :/ ((TW: Abu$e and Anxiety))

It's going a little too hard rn, but with that said: Have fun reading the book and let me know how you like it so far :D

Go free my little cinnamon rolls!!!

Wattpad Link

AO3 Link

[girlkisser13]

this is me trying

"i just wanted you to know" "that this is me trying"

a/n: anyone else an older sibling? 🙋🏻‍♀️ anyways, here’s a fic for connie baby. <33

pairings: conrad fisher x fem!reader

warnings/tags: mostly angst. mention of a panic attack.

summary: you help your ex-boyfriend through a panic attack.

the fourth of july celebrations were in full swing at the fisher’s summer house. fireworks painted the sky in vibrant hues, and laughter echoed through the beach air. conrad, however, was far from the festivities, staring blankly at the ocean waves crashing against the shore.

you stood with your family near the bonfire. you had spent every summer with the fishers for as long as you could remember, and despite your breakup with the oldest fisher brother, your family's visit remained a tradition. you noticed conrad's absence and scanned the crowd, your heart sinking when you saw him heading towards the beach, his posture tense and hurried. you knew him too well; something was wrong.

you excused yourself and followed him, your sandals sinking into the cool sand. as you got closer, you could see his shoulders heaving, his breaths coming out in ragged gasps.

"conrad!" you called out, but he didn’t stop.

he froze but didn't turn around. he quickened his steps, desperate to escape the mounting pressure inside his chest. his vision blurred as the panic clawed at him, a tight, suffocating grip that made it hard to breathe.

"conrad, please!" your voice was closer now, filled with concern.

he stumbled to a stop near the water's edge, the sound of the waves failing to soothe him. he dropped to his knees, hands clutching his hair as he tried to steady his breathing. the crashing waves, usually so soothing, now felt like they were closing in on him.

you reached him and knelt beside him, your concern deepening. "conrad, what's wrong?" you asked, your voice a mix of worry and urgency.

"go away, y/n," he managed to choke out, his voice strained and broken. "i don’t want you to see me like this."

"no, you don’t get to push me away again," you said firmly, grabbing his arm as he tried to stand up and walk away. "you don’t have to do this alone. i’m not leaving you."

"just go," he pleaded, tears welling up in his eyes. "i don’t deserve your help. i don’t deserve you."

ignoring his protests, you moved in front of him, your hands gently cupping his face. "conrad, look at me. just breathe with me, okay? in and out, nice and slow."

he tried to turn away, but your grip was firm, your eyes filled with unwavering concern. he focused on you, matching his breaths to yours. slowly, the tightness in his chest began to loosen, he focused on the sound of your voice, your presence.

"that’s it," you whispered, "you’re okay. i’ve got you."

his breathing steadied, but his eyes remained locked on yours, your face was mere inches away from his. for a moment, the world faded away, leaving only the two of you. his proximity was intoxicating, and for a fleeting second, it felt like he might kiss you. but then you turned your head away, breaking the spell. you reminded yourself that you had a boyfriend.

conrad's heart sank. he knew about your boyfriend, of course. he had overheard taylor and belly asking you how things were going with him. he would never admit it, but he was jealous. of course he was jealous. he closed his eyes, trying to push the feelings away. "i'm sorry," he murmured.

"it’s okay," you replied, still holding his face gently. "just tell me what’s going on. why are you so upset?"

he took a deep, shaky breath. "it’s my mom. i’m trying, y/n. i’m really trying to hold it together for jere, but i’m so worried about her. she’s… she’s acting like everything’s normal when it’s not. y/n, she’s not getting better. the trial… it’s… it’s not working. she’s dying, y/n, and i don’t know how to fix it."

your heart broke for him. "conrad, you don’t have to be so strong all the time. it’s okay to be overwhelmed. it’s okay to be scared. you’re human."

he shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "but i'm supposed to be the strong one, the big brother. i’m supposed to be able handle everything."

you shook her head gently. "even the strongest people need help sometimes. it's not wrong for you to feel this way. you're allowed to be vulnerable. conrad, your mother is dying. it's okay to feel however you need to feel. your feelings are completely valid. it's not good for you to keep this all bottled up inside."

he nodded, his tears finally spilling over. "thank you," he whispered, his voice raw. "thank you for being here with me."

you wiped away his tears, your thumbs rubbing at his cheeks. your faces were close once more. for a moment, their was on the verge of something—an old, familiar closeness. but conrad pulled back slightly, knowing it wasn’t fair to you. he couldn’t, no, he wouldn’t hurt you again.

"i appreciate it, y/n. more than you know."

as the fireworks continued to burst in the sky, you stayed by his side, your presence a steady comfort in the chaos of his mind. you sat together on the sand, the sound of the waves providing a soothing backdrop.

[stereopticons]

On This Day in Schitt's Creek: May 3

2019

Pride [david/patrick, G, 2,162] by Thechargingsky

David has his reasons why he doesn't want to go to Pride, but knows Patrick wants to go. Part of being in love is doing things for the ones you love, right?

Rings [david/patrick, T, 1,594] by togglefrog

Patrick has to find a way to get his hands on David’s rings without arousing suspicion. That shouldn’t be hard, because David is somehow the most oblivious person on Earth when it comes to this sort of thing. Ft. Stevie, a Party Girl™

Your Wings Prepare to Fly [david/patrick, E, 35,002] by @icmezzo

Wings on a human? Incorrect. David Rose had them anyway, at least sometimes. But given that he loathed them all the time, with every luxuriously moisturized cell in his body, he did whatever it took to keep them hidden away. It hadn’t even been particularly difficult—at least, not until Patrick Brewer started looking.

2020

[podfic] Snuggle [david/patrick, G, podfic] by @distractivate @olive2read

Patrick is determined to win the laundry standoff...

For the Sake of Proficiency [david & stevie, E, 1,792] by VieLeGuerre

He walked out of the bathroom and saw her sitting casually at the table, still in her jeans and flannel, one foot on the ground and the other up on the opposite chair. She raised her eyebrows at him and took another sip from the longneck in her hand. “You done?” she asked, deadpan with notes of impatience and appreciation. He cocked an eyebrow and raised his jaw, looking through his lashes down at her. She took in all that face, all that skin. He always looked so beautiful.

Into Dust [david/patrick, M, 911] by @wi22iou

Patrick and Twyla sing a poignant song relating to The Handmaid's Tale Season 3 finale to help them process. It gets emotional.

Rainy heart [david/patrick, G, 1,424] by @msarahv

Sometimes, a rainy days occurs. Sometimes it passes. But one is never the same.

stars shining bright above you [david & stevie, G, 1,139] by @hullomoon

Sometimes it's easier to have heartfelt conversations when it's dark out.

The 3 Times David had a “Moment” and the 1 Time it Wasn’t David [david/patrick, T, 6,267] by Its_Me_Sb

Everyone is well aware of David’s many instances of dramatics as a result of a stressful or overwhelming situation, and every time Patrick is there to make it better. But everyone has their moments. OR The three time David lets stress get to the better of him, and the one time Patrick has a bit of an overwhelming day himself.

this is a place where i feel at home [david/patrick, G, 1,458] by @mariss-ugh

They try not to be home this late on Tuesdays, but they’ve been putting in extra hours the past month working on their five-year plan. With their wedding and moving into their house behind them, they’ve decided to focus on building out their business.

Vanquished [david/patrick, G, 3,594] by @codswalloping

Patrick absolutely refuses to be sick on Christmas Eve.

we'll take the world together [alexis & david, M, 6,244] by @landofsonlali

5 times David takes care of Alexis and 1 time Alexis takes care of him

Young at Heart [david/patrick, E, 46,961] by @agoodpersonrose

Post-Season Six AU. David and Patrick have been married for five years and life has never been better. In the midst of preparing to open their third storefront, a magical accident involving a strange new vendor and a bad batch of wrinkle cream leaves David with a new look that threatens to change their world as they know it.

2021

all that you got, skin to skin [david/patrick, E, 3,237] by @schittyfic

For midnightstreet's prompt: Patrick loves David's body hair (and David has come to like it too), but when David decides to get a full-body wax just for the heck of it, Patrick loses his fucking mind.

As it has Always Been [david/patrick, T, 2,485] by @agoodpersonrose

It must be the fifth or sixth time the Brewers have met David. But the first time that they have seen him truly angry.

Aubade [david/patrick, G, 229] by petrichor_apothecary

Patrick and David enjoy a morning together out in their back yard.

baby, don't let go [david/patrick, G, 100] by @seadeepy

David claimed he was waiting because Patrick kept sending him gifts, but Patrick thinks he understands the real reason.

everyday the hold is getting tighter (and it troubles me so) [stevie/ruth, M, 1,228] by budd

Stevie and Ruth end up sharing the last bed at the newest addition to Rosebud Motel Group. Title from "Under Attack" by ABBA

Flying Coach [david/patrick, T, 8,930] by @lisamc-21

David uses a piece of his Blouse Barn money for an (unfortunately depressingly economical) European vacation before he opens his store and he won't have the time or money to travel. After the literal worst day of travel he's ever experienced, a knight in shining blue polyester comes to his rescue. Even a cranky and jet-lagged David can't withstand the power of Patrick Brewer's kind, teasing earnestness.

it's never too late [stevie/twyla, G, 1,000] by budd

Twyla works through queer feelings revolving around her crush of thirteen years, Stevie Budd.

lead me back home, back into your arms [david/patrick, T, 2,797] by @maxbegone

He breaks the silence. “You shouldn’t feel guilty, you know,” he begins, taking a corner of the towel on Patrick’s shoulders and dabbing it across his collarbone. “For not telling them.” -- A missing scene in the apartment during Meet The Parents.

Leaving Aside the Circumstances [david/patrick, E, 9,311, CW: noncon/dubcon] by @unfolded73

David and Patrick are running a general but very specific store on a space station when they get abducted by aliens. And then they have to have sex because this is tropefest.

Love Keeps the Cold Out [david/patrick, T, 15,291] by @thesleepyskipper

David gets out of the rental car at the base of the mountain and immediately shivers as the cold air hits his face. He’s quickly realizing that he may not be properly dressed for the weather, wearing a thin knit olive-coloured toque, his favourite Rick Owens lace-ups and a black peacoat over his usual designer sweater and black jeans. As the wind whips across his exposed knees, it also occurs to him that he probably should have avoided the ripped ones for this trip. Or at least on the days when he’d be forced to brave the elements. Despite the somewhat-fond memories lingering in the back of his mind, he quickly becomes aware that this trip has a distinct purpose outside of spending weeks at a time as a professional ski bunny. David takes a trip to a ski resort in Quebec to meet a new possible vendor for Rose Apothecary, with Stevie, Alexis and Ted tagging along for the ride. During an unfortunate incident, David is trapped with a handsome stranger who is trying to escape from his past. Will this vacation potentially be a success for both his store and his love life?

The Blouse Barn Divorce Ranch [david/patrick, M, 26,226 + podfic + art] by Amanita_Fierce @danieljradcliffe @delilah-mcmuffin @sarahlevys @fishyspots @godoflaundrybaskets @hagface @hullomoon @januarium @kiwiana-writes @middyblue @nontoxic-writes @ratchet @rhetoricalk @roguebebe @schittposting @ships-to-sail singsongsung @sparklesmagiclightlove @sunlightsymphony @swiftlythebest @schitthappens

Hello, I am Wendy Kurtz, proprietor of the Blouse Barn Divorce Ranch, the world’s premier spot for couples looking to get a speedy divorce and connect with other soon-to-be divorcees. I’d like to highlight the stories of five couples, who rearranged into five other couples, from some past summer. These ten people came to the Blouse Barn Divorce Ranch with the intention of ending a marriage, and got that and so much more. I could recount their journeys with 100% accuracy, but where’s the fun in that? Let’s let them tell us themselves. OR: One crazy summer in Las Vegas brings the heat and then some. Featuring art and podfic with every chapter!

this magnetic force of a man [david/patrick, G, 100] by @seadeepy

Twyla talks to Patrick at the baby sprinkle. Patrick doesn't finish his sentence.

2022

Like the First Time [david/patrick, T, 1,656] by poemme

Fic bunny from the quote: "I've kissed like a thousand people, but nobody that I cared about, or respected, or thought was nice."

Six O'Clock [david/patrick, T, 2,433] by mindswindowsdoors

"Oh. Hi...Patrick." David doesn’t know how to respond. It's a little weird. He likes Patrick just fine. More than fine. More than he should for a business partner. David's only human. Patrick is hot and new, and more importantly - it'll pass. This...crush thing. Not getting laid isn't exactly helping either. Anyway. Not the point. He and Patrick haven't hung out socially and it's kind of awkward running into him during a hunting expedition for randoms at a seedy bar.

The Chalet [david/patrick, M, 874] by mindswindowsdoors

David and Patrick get away.

2023

Rose from the Ashes [david/patrick, E, 72,210] by @likerealpeopledo-on-ao3

Meet David Rose and Patrick Brewer, the two men who were found living on a deserted island for over forty-five days after the Blayze Music Festival went up in smoke. Documentary filmmaker (town council member, real estate agent, closet organizer, and photographer) Ray Butani has assembled an in-depth, first-person account of one of the more positive outcomes of the fraudulent festival: the romance that blossomed amongst the chaos. Binge read all eight episodes to learn how getting lost led David and Patrick to find both themselves and each other.

Scruff [david/patrick, G, 100] by @sspaz1000

Patrick hopes that today is the day David comes back.

2024

[Podfic] 50 Shades [david/patrick, G, podfic] by @hullomoon

David’s tested every shade from Greige to Pewter, whereas Patrick, prefers plain Blue, and thought, they’d reached a compromise with Slate Blue. Or, the first time Patrick and David paint and decorate their cottage. [podfic of 50 Shades]

[podfic] Maison Valentino [david & alexis, G, podfic] by @schitthappens

A surprise visit from Alexis gets David thinking more deeply about the fluidity of his wardrobe and identity. Podfic of Maison Valentino by bigficenergy.

Stats:

No fanworks for 2017 or 2018 2019: 3 fics/38,758 words 2020: 10 fanworks (9 fics, 1 podfic)/69,856 words 2021: 12 fanworks (11 fics, 1 fic + podfic + art combo)/70,934 words 2022: 3 fics/4,693 words 2023: 2 fics/72,310 words 2024: 2 podfics Total: 32 fanworks (28 fics, 3 podfics, 1 fic + podfic + art combo)/256,854 words

[sgiandubh]

It's that time of the year... - part deux

For my first post covering C's sighting at the Paris Fashion Week's Hermès catwalk show, kindly refer here: https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/777467105003077632/its-that-time-of-the-year?source=share

Meanwhile, the official show's clip has been released. You can watch it here: https://www.fhcm.paris/en/collection/hermes-womenswear-fallwinter-2025-2026

As expected, this is a very elegant homage to the luxury brand's horsemanship, aristocratic DNA. From the horseshoe-shaped catwalk, to the catwalk's floor, covered with sand. It immediately brings to mind the absolute beauty of the Ecole Nationale d'Equitation de Saumur (the National Equestrian School of Saumur), aka Le Cadre Noir, which was included on the UNESCO's List of Intangible Cultural Heritage, in 2011:

But we're not here to babble about fin-de-siècle leisure. As always, Getty Images spills the tea on who was seen with C at that event.

Fellow Irish actress Sarah Greene:

Roger Lynch, Condé Nast's CEO. Dame Anna Wintour. Axel Dumas, Hermès CEO. Jessica Alba, Hollywood A-lister:

Elisabeth Franck-Dumas, the Hermès CEO's wife:

This is a very interesting tidbit, because you see, Mrs. Franck-Dumas, as all the saints of the Inner Circle of Fashion, also has an interesting past. Her interesting American past includes freelance stints for mainstream US media outlets such as: the New York Magazine, the New York Times, Vogue USA and hey, hello... the now defunct Departures Magazine:

[Source: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elisabeth-franck-dumas-5128253/?originalSubdomain=fr]

Now remind me to which media outlet do we owe those wonderful (but allegedly slightly deviated), enamored SC pics?

You know what I am talking about - this pic, for example:

Departures magazine. That is correct.

And who was heavily featured in it, up until its peaceful end?

S. That is correct, the very clumsy Sophie Mancini (not even a beard) on top.

Finally, lest some speculation should arise, a clear reminder not all leather jackets are created equal. This is an unidentified lady Mrs. Franck Dumas sitting right next to C [edited for accuracy]:

You never know what people might come up with, after all...

Last, but not least, I noticed on the Paris Videostars' arrival clip I posted in my other part that French press still does not know who C is. You can hear someone prompting people to take a picture of her ('La caméra, faut l'appeler, hein?!' - 'hey, camera, we must call her, huh?!' - at the 00:27 mark and adding the clip's Youtube link one more time here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMFyn_jWmpo ) and some people shouting 'Madame, Madame', but no identification whatsoever.

Also, there seems to be a heavy shortage of nannies in Glasgow, currently. Or London - even more bizarre, huh?