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orphicdreamers-wp · 1 month

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Scared Of My Guitar — Luke Hughes

Summary; In which you and Luke both come to terms that your situation is wrong but neither of you can let go.

Content Warning; pure sadness(not really angst) , situation-ship, use of the names Jules, Parker, Katya and Bailee. Readers pov is with the pink lyrics, Luke is with the red.

Pairing; Music Major Reader & UMich Luke

Perfect, easy, so good to me. So why’s there a pit in my gut in the shape of you?

Part of you growing up believed you were unlovable. You were an only child to two busy parents. Your mother was a criminal defense attorney and your father was a renowned neurosurgeon. So a lot of your childhood was being raised by your babysitters over the years. Throughout high school you never had relationships, not because you didn’t want to but because it seemed that no one wanted to have a relationship with you.

So meeting Luke your freshman year at University of Michigan and being oddly pulled to him terrified you. By then you had ultimately decided that you had little to no interest in being someone’s girlfriend. And contrary to your sorority sisters Jules and Parker, that never changed when you started whatever you and Luke were doing. Part of you yearned for a relationship especially watching your best friend Kayta and her boyfriend JJ and Bailee and Ethan have perfect relationships.

But whenever you thought of being someone’s girlfriend it made you nauseous. You just had no interest of being anyone’s girlfriend. And everything someone called you Luke’s girlfriend a doomed feeling arose in your chest.

Barely sleep when you’re sleeping next to me.

Early into whatever you and Luke had started after hooking up in the bathroom at one of the many parties that Rutger and Luca had thrown, you guys began to frequent each other’s beds. You loved your room it was your safe place. You absolutely loved being in your bed. But oddly enough whenever Luke slept over you found it impossible to get to sleep.

You felt like you were being a horrible person, you felt like you were giving to less to Luke than he was giving to you. You were worried that your inability to desire a relationship would somehow hurt Luke so you just kept your mouth shut. Even when it caused you to lose sleep over.

But I’m so scared of my guitar cause it cuts right through to the heart.

You had been cleaning your room up before Luke was coming over for the weekend and you ran your fingers across your guitar, pulling away with dust covered fingers. You had been avoiding using your guitar because your music came from the heart and you were unsure you wanted to voice how you truly were feeling about your situation with Luke.

I can’t lie to it the same way I lie to you

You and Luke had been lying in your bed later that night watching Suits on your tv when Luke spoke, “You should come to the lake house with me this summer. My brothers can’t wait to meet you.” Your eyes darted to your guitar absentmindedly before you smiled softly as Luke looked up at you and you lied straight through your teeth, “Of course I will. That sounds so fun.” Luke hummed as you massaged his scalp lightly, “I’m glad you think so.”

I’m so scared of my guitar if I play it, then I’ll think too hard

Luke had gone to Vancouver with his parents and Jack for Quinn’s birthday so you had a little bit of free time to yourself to be in your head. You sat cross legged on your bedroom floor with your acoustic guitar resting on your lap. You had been brainstorming a song for your spring showcase and it was not going well when Luke was around. He sort of fogged up your musical thought process.

You picked up the guitar and began to strum the cords at random until you felt your cheeks dampen with tears. You set it on the floor beside you and pressed your back against your bed and let the tears stream down your face, not having the energy to fight them back. You barely lifted your head when your bedroom door creaked open. Katya popped her head in and her facial features softened when she noticed you were crying, “Oh baby, are you okay?” You shook your head and sniffled, “I don’t think so. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Katya sat on the floor beside you and pulled you into a heartfelt embrace, “Nothing is wrong with you sweet girl. Do you want me to call Luke?” You shook your head, “No he’s on his way back from his brothers. I don’t wanna bother him”

So I lay in your arms and pretend that it’s love.

Luke had come straight to your place after he left the airport. He had brought you one of your favorite snacks that you’d mentioned liking when you had met early on. You should have melted inside when he did but you didn’t. Luke had sworn up and down that all he wanted to do for the night was just hold you because he missed his girl. So you let him, you laid in his arms in your bed as Tangled played from your laptop. That had been the only time you had ever in any way convinced yourself that you could love being Luke Hughes’ girlfriend one day

If I was brave and noble like you I’d have the nerve to just stop stringing you along.

Luke wasn’t a bad person by any means, but the relationship or lack of made him feel like he was. It wasn’t that he intentionally started the situation with you with the intention of it not working. He just wanted his brothers to stop bothering him about not being over his ex. And then he met you. You were simple to know and easy to love. Luke would admit he had grown to love you over the year and half you two had been involved.

But he was never in love with you. He loved you because you were funny, he loved you because you watched the same tv shows as him, he loved you because he could beat you in a video game and the next round you’d beat him, he loved you because you were a good friend. Loving you as his friend was easy, he would truthfully call you his best friend. But he never saw you and him being together romantically in a serious relationship.

I’d rather be tied to someone, even if they’re wrong.

But you and Luke fell into the groove of being slightly more than friends but way less than a relationship. You guys would hold hands, go on dates, sleep together and everything in between. But you two were never going to be in a relationship. And Luke was okay with that until his mother invited the both of you to the lake house for the entire summer. And when he asked you about it you agreed a little too quickly. So Luke was sure to make it known to you that you were not his girlfriend.

But when that summer came and you joined him at the lake house and meshed perfectly with everyone in his life, he knew he had made a mistake bringing you. You and his mother had shopped for linens and you had won her over by purchasing what she had picked out instead of letting her. You had won his father over by offering to man the grill and when the steaks turned out better than when his father made them, Jim had asked you to come back every summer. You’d win Jack and Trevor over by beating both of them in beer pong multiple times. You had won Quinn over by your infatuation with working out, none of the other inhabitants of the lake house were up at 4 am going to the gym besides you and Quinn. So two ended up going together every morning for the remainder of the summer.

But despite his entire family adoring you, Luke still wasn’t seeing you in a romantic way. But he wasn’t going to give up what he had to try and find something else.

Say that I’m fine, I tell them all the time as they watch all the light fade away.

Luke’s teammates had begun to notice something was off with Luke following that summer. He had grown irritable and easy to piss off. He had always been spending less time with you. His friends had asked him if he was okay and they always received the same answer, a grumbled out ‘I’m fine.’ They were in no way believing it but they knew better than to push any further.

Cause what if I never find anything better?

Following summer Luke had been conflicted. You were everything a guy could ever dream of. So why wasn’t Luke in love with you? You were smart, kind, funny, good with kids, parents loved you, and you were easily jaw dropping stunning. Luke felt bad keeping you to himself when he wasn’t in love but how would he find anyone better than you?

So we’ll stay together cause how could I ever trade something that’s good for what’s right

So he kept his mouth shut and kept whatever you had going on. He didn’t want to trade a perfectly good friendship with things you’d have in a relationship, for what could have been. He didn’t want to take that chance.

I let the thought in, it’s already done.

Summer had changed everything for you. You fell in love with Luke’s family and Luke himself. He had such a welcoming family who made you truly feel like you were a part of something. You and Luke were laying in his bed, you were sure Luke was asleep. It was 3:02 in the morning. He had to be, he was laying in your arms. You whispered through the darkness secretly hoping Luke heard you, “I’m in love with you Luke Hughes.” You had closed your eyes after and were met with silence like you always were. “Yeah me too.” Oh..

Yeah I lay in your arms and pretend it’s enough.

Luke closed his eyes as he could feel the vibe in his bedroom shift. He was pretending to be asleep to avoid any confrontation with you. Your soft voice filled his ears, “I’m in love with you Luke Hughes.” He should have felt something right?

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