#scrambled my brains a little

[rottengurlz]

my favorite boydyke

[softcryz]

Oh no Oh no oh no

[sangrefae]

does anyone else spend a concerning about of time thinking abt laios being the one to kill chimera falin or am i just unwell

[icewindandboringhorror]

................ he 

[wattemeer]

[hikayunas]

Hikaru being reduced down to nothing but "horse" jokes by the wider fandom -- instead of treated as a proper character to be examined and taken seriously -- is something that's stuck with me for a while. It's ironic, if a bit sad in its irony, once you think about it for a moment or two.

Hikaru being "the Horse" isn't just a gag thrown in for a cheap laugh -- "the Horse" is Hikaru's coping mechanism; how she dehumanizes herself, and creates a mental disconnect between herself and her identity as a Futatsugi magical girl -- as a weapon -- a tool -- to further Yuna's goals, for her use alone. Hikaru may not want to stain her hands for Promised Blood's goals, but if Yuna wills it, then Torayamachi's Horse certainly does -- "the Horse" will take as many lives as it can for Yuna, or die trying.

"The Horse" started off innocently enough; Yuna suggested it when she and Hikaru were both still fresh into the ranks of Futatsugi's magical girls. It was meant as nothing more than a nickname, inspired by Hikaru's ability to summon her army of smoke-puff soldiers -- Hikaru would be Yuna's Horse; her cavalry in the shadows to assist when called upon by their general.

But it did not stay that way. At least, not entirely. "The Horse" has certainly stuck around as Hikaru's playful nickname among Promised Blood's ranks -- but it runs much deeper than that; much deeper than Yuna ever intended for it to. For a nickname, it's incredibly personal to her -- she's quick to become offended when Juri makes a mocking play on it, calling her a "stupid mule" instead of the usual "Horse." And, constantly having the "Horse" title referenced in Promised Blood just reinforces the disconnect between Kirari Hikaru, Futatsugi citizen, and Torayamachi's Horse; pack animal, weapon, and tool for Kureha Yuna's use only. In Promised Blood, she is the Horse -- she is not Kirari Hikaru.

As far as coping mechanisms go, it's not as good as she believes it to be. It certainly does get her through the harder parts of magical girl life in Futatsugi, and later on, through the Kimochi wars as a member of Promised Blood, and it serves to connect her and help her bond with the other Promised Blood members -- but it is, by exact definition, dehumanization. Kirari Hikaru -- the Horse -- is not a person, she is not a human being; it is a pack animal, a weapon, a tool, for Kureha Yuna's use. Without Yuna, it is nothing.

Hikaru cheerfully agrees when Ao says that she really is an empty shell, grinning and chirping back without hesitation that as long as she's with Yuna, she's full. A horse needs its master; a weapon needs a general to wield it; a tool needs someone skilled to put it to use. Without someone to use them, they are useless. Without Yuna, the Horse is useless. If Yuna dies, the Horse -- and Hikaru, with it -- dies, too. Where Yuna goes, the Horse follows.

Every little thing that the Horse does is for Yuna. The Horse is not its own person; it's not a person at all. Yuna is Promised Blood's general, and a general needs her loyal horse. When all is said and done, Hikaru does not need to feel any guilt nor remorse for the blood on the Horse's saber, even if their sabers are one in the same. This is simply what the horse was meant to do. It was made to do this. The horse is not its own person; it's not a person at all. It is a pack animal, a weapon, a tool. Its decisions are not its own, and certainly not Hikaru's own.

...which is to say, boiling her character down to nothing but "horse" jokes is something that I think about a normal amount.

[chiropteracupola]

gave my dad a copy of @emilybeemartin's national parks artbook, but he has not figured out the real similarity between the two of us, which is that we will be on tumblr posting sean bean like it's our job

[moonlitkissing]

Yeah yeah big tough domme and all but the little "Cause I'm so proud, baby, I'm so proud of you" in I like the way you kiss me by Artemas has me being nothing but a puddle on the ground

[belethlegwen]

General li'l update

So, things have done anything but slow down for me in the real world. To keep it as vague as possible, there's a chance I'll be losing my job within the next month or so, though we're all currently working on possible solutions to this. Hoping for the best.

I've already done my panicking and preemptive grieving. 18 years in a single career is a hell of a run for someone my age, and if it has to come to an end then I've made at least some peace with that idea.

Still though, working every day to find solutions. To fix things. To keep surviving. It's exhausting, I will not lie. We're doing what we can over here.

There's so, so much good to look forward to this year. These are just bumpy patches of road. And some of the bumpiest roads I've driven on have taken me to the best places I've ever been. I'll be alright. I know I'll be alright. I'll be more than alright, by the time this is all said and done.

Been doing more reading of late, which I've been loving. You all are putting out such amazing work and I love bouncing in to read even if it takes me 3 attempts and a couple of hours to get through a posted chapter. Lovely escapes, all around.

My sister turned me onto a game ("game" kind of seems like an odd word for it but either way) on steam called Spirit City: Lofi Sessions. You customize a character, you have a little room, it plays lofi music at you and you can poke at a few playlists, build soundscapes around it (rain noises, thunder, wind, birds chirping, crackling fire etc etc) while your character mills about in spots doing things as just a beautiful little vibe-generator. You can collect spirit pals to vibe with you. It's just really cozy and nice, I love it. Highly recommend.

It has an optioning for in-app journaling, and I've been meaning to get back into journaling regularly just for the sake of my memory and everything else. That's been a huge boon over the last 2-3 days. It's got a productivity timer, to-do list, daily task/habits tracker.

Anyway, I've been making progress on writing but it's slow, staggered. Hit a bit of a wall last night with some of The Stranding where I wrote 8.5 pages of a scene and then just felt... unhappy with it. I had clearly lost the thread of why I started writing it, and needed to walk away to see if a fresher mind could find a place to rewind to and pivot so I can salvage it, or if I'm just gonna carve the whole thing out and set it in the Cut Scenes doc. The other 20 pages I've got waiting? Fine. Good, even. Proud of those. This one, I'm proud of what I'm writing but again... just feels more like floating aimlessly and bouncing. It was clear I wrote it while heavily distracted or with gaps between focus, so it jumps.

I'll see what I can salvage. Can't promise an update and am avoiding making it feel like I'm 'back on schedule' just to find something I can reduce pressure from in my life for the time being. But: I love you all. The Kudos, the views, the comments, the everything. It means a lot. You're all great.

If I do any generic vent/vibe writing, not necessarily attached to anything, I'll consider sharing it here for y'all. You guys deserve a bit of fun and sunshine <3

Have a great time everyone, love y'all to bits <3

~ Belle

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the thing about chronic migraines that they dont tell you is the lingering terror of the long stretches in between them. bc you know you'll have one again. its inevitable. its just a matter of time.

but then you desperately try Not to think about it because you dont want to jinx it / somehow psyche yourself into one

[chimeric-art]

And when there is no light to be found, we must make our own

Rose belongs to @miss-mossball

[aberooski]

I know they're already trapped in cyberspace as it is, but I never understood why Sarina turned Syrus and Hassleberry into a dinosaur and a car as opposed to like, locking them up in there or actually putting them in danger? Like if you want the stakes to feel actually important to the duel like maybe I should actually have to worry about what will happen to them if Jaden and Aster lose...?

I dunno it doesn't really matter, like obviously it's entirely possible that the thing is just that they're just bait for Jaden so it doesn't really matter what she does with them because all she needs is to get Jaden and Aster there so she can test them in a duel so once they get there Sy and Hassleberry don't really matter anymore at that point. But I just think about this kinda stuff y'know? I'm a fanfic writer haha

[softcryz]

I just remembered that during my tiny bit of activity on Twitter I messed around drawing on someone's Strawpage And while I don't think they're good I DID DRAW LOOP FOR THE FIRST TIME SO! Claps for myself

[echoeykazooooooooo]

some beat boards from my storyboarding class for my final project!

they were primarily used to pitch our ideas to our classmates, but for being as quick as they were, i’m fairly happy with them. i’m planning on cleaning up the final boards and putting them up here eventually.

[neurotonic]

i know you ship solary/roxana i just wanna hear what you have to say about it 👂👂👂

solary roxana moment........ omg I shall do my best to yammer

SHIP IT !

1. What made you ship it?

I thought they'd make an interesting duo especially in their post-Zoraxis arcs. They've got a lot in common, girlie engineers... hello...I've also been trying to get their dynamics right bc I wanted to make a fanfic about them meeting. Triple Threat also made me consider them a lot, though I don't think of them as much as. Fabbylaris and roxafabby lately, to be honest KJSDFH

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

It's really in the way that. They're so similar yet so different. To me they tackle life in two different directions, and I think they'd balance each other out. In my mind, Solaris has been a bit worn down with what life has to offer, not to mention her lack of mentioned connections throughout the game. Prism is still a bit of an idealist in my mind, obviously the events of IEYTD3 shifted her beliefs significantly, but she's still very much a person that puts a lot of importance on trust. After fleeing Zoraxis I think they've gotta hang out. For their health. Solaris learning to open up more, Prism learning to find her own self-worth through herself, and not from anyone else...

Not to mention, after going through so much shit as two women engineers, they understand each other's experiences, even though they kind of view it a little differently. Makes for some interesting discussion points.

Also, their fields of specialty is just different enough from one another, I can imagine them making some funny contraptions. Just. Trying to figure out each other's ways of thinking through their engineering. I think Solaris would like Right Robot.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Once again I don't think this is a popular ship enough for me to consider my opinions unpopular. so I have no Idea SDUHG

[the-kipsabian]

Going off your post (idk I sort of like conspiracies & theories). Here's my take::

So I semi remember a tweet after Stadium Stampede when the photo of OC bloodied and basically being carried out by Trent & Chuck was posted... Danhausen mentioned how he could take him (I may be remembering wrong)... What if when he comes back he takes the belt? Like every cursed item if it's returned it breaks the curse? Just a thought. I'd love to know your opinion or theory on this?

OH MANNNNNN

first of all, welcome to the theory crafting conspiracy zone youre so welcome to come here i love this shit so much even tho im probably wrong 9/10 times when i theorize about things but its so fun to do and one of my favorite ways to consume wrestling lol

second, i found this tweet?

which sets up some. interesting implications for sure. if i had seen this earlier tbh i would have assumed this was more in relation to the all out match with mox, seeing how oc was pushed to the very limit in there and "to pay times debt" could easily be taken as having an opponent that could finally beat him after oc has suffered for so long and was on the end of his rope mentally and physically finally; however as we stand right now, with ocs second reign starting, clearly in much darker tone than before, and danhausen teasing his return, this could mean anything

i do love the take of danhausen being the one thats able to lift the curse from the belt tho, as someone who originally cursed it, if he gets his hands on it. personally i would enjoy seeing oc run as champ again as long as possible tho, ssooo in my perfect little imagination this wouldnt mean that danhausen gets to be the champion, but he joins forced with oc, turning them both heel (as is a very clear implication here in both of their demeanors lbr) - oc remains unchanged because he knows what he is like now as a champion. what he has to do. the vicious side of him that he has to tap into to keep that belt

tbh maybe tagging with danhausen would make him even more wicked. i mean that man got oc to wear something out of ordinary during their tag match at revolution (BLACK DENIM MY BELOVED), who knows what kind of a hold he can have on oc when the mans already corrupted to hell and back and danhausen is ready to show a more wicked side of him upon return as well