#screaming inta my pillow

[spaciebabie]

okay i was gonna make a long winded post abt how being autistic and aplatonic fucks up any semblence of connectedness i am able ta feel w/my fellow humans but i got tired so let me just shorten it ta say:

when u dont feel motiv for friend make and u bad at making frend as well life! is hell at times. blah blah blah i feel abnormal all the time something something i am aware i do not socialize "normally" like others and it makes me self concious. blah blah blah sometimes i wish i could feel how alloplatonics feel. end post.

[thelordstears]

If writing were breath, I imagine my lungs would implode

“ If you surround yourself in love you're bound to go great places, and though my life has been one of rich soils and silver platters I have found that a life of rich hatred is no life at all. Real royalty is found in the heart not the crown nor jewels.” - Katerine Von Roy

“ We're sparkling stars in a vast eternity of pitch black shadow shining even though the world wants our lights to go dim and our candles to be snuffed by dark waters.” - Katerine Von Roy

"The ashes of ones soul is often created in the fire of another's hatred, the fire of another more often than not will burn another to ash if not contained. I have found you have to control the fire raging inside of you, or everyone around you will suffer the consequences of you striking a match to feel the flame.” - Asbury Hobkins

“ I don't understand why we have to pick up our guns and fight, but our lives are on the line, and when peace isn't an option, bask in chaos to make peace the only damn option available.” - Asbury Hobkins

 "If dreams are the very foundation on which we stand then tell me why it is nightmares rule over this land. Light can not prevail without darkness, shadows can't exist without the sun, dreams can't soar without nightmare so tell me why you ignore the foundation of dreams?” - Algonul

“ I will destroy faith and hope with my existence alone.” - Algonul

“ I have dipped my fingers in a river of blood, and just because the man I drowned hurt me so, it gave me no reason to bury him with my pain. But I didn't bury my pain, it only rose from it's coffin and burst from my chest.” - Valarie Forbes

“ If you fear for your life, it's often you'll take another to regain your sense of safety.” - Valarie Forbes

“ I am a beast shackled by nuthin' more than my fucking rage. It beats inside my chest day after day, month after month, year after year, it is an ugly beast, but when did I ever say I was anything but a god damn monstrosity?” - Bernard

“ You wanna be a hero? Kill yourself and spare yourself of the pain I'll inflict ya. The only thing you can change, is how you fucking die." - Bernard

“ I'm in no ways a good man nor am I rich in heart all the money in the world couldn't save me from the sins at my back.” - Sam Dellwotfire

“ "Of all the bullet wounds I've inflicted the ones I shot into my heart are the most painful. I have learned peace is simply an intermission, it's between chaos and sorrow, and I imagine this pocket of peace will never last.” - Novella Delemonte 

“ "Bravery ain't not bein' scared, bravery is bein' frightened down ta your very core, feelin' that fear in your bones, and doin' the right damn thing despite the cold shiver of fear runnin' up your spine. I have found that despite the fear in my old heart, I'm runnin' inta the battlefield regardless.” - Walter Hemmington

“ Life is a battlefield, it's a good thing I'm a damn soldier.” - Walter Hemmington

"The weight of a thousand moons weight down on my heart, but I've found a single sun, can make that weight as light as a feather. Emma is my only guiding light, the singular star in the night sky, the sun on a cloudy day, and somehow I've found warmth when all I ever was, was cold.” - Jen Dallinvritz

“ The world tries to keep me down, but I just fly higher, the sun may be in view, but a flame can't burn fire.” - Jen Dallinvritz

“ The pain I feel is nothing compared to the peace I've found.” - Jen Dallinvritz

“ I've been basked in horrors, covered in shadows and told ta be a monster because it's what orcs do. But just because it's what we were made ta be, don't mean we can't re-write our definition.” - Ashgarn

“ You can call me a monster for my heritage, but if you look a lil deeper you'll find that I'm not like other orcs. I'm just an orc in a human's world.” - Ashgarn

“ I have claws meant only for beasts, but you need not be covered in fur and own claws to be a beast. Most of the beasts I've slain are mortals draped in the fur of a wolf. I will gladly graze on the grass of their hunting grounds to be the wolf in sheep's clothing that puts them down once and for all.” - Vivian Swain

“ I shalt redeem us in our final hour, bathe in the darkness only to drown the monsters around me. I'm the last thing you'll see, in the blink of an eye your life will flash before your eyes, and it's final moments will flash before mine as you've seen so many times with the innocent blood you've spilt.” - Vivian Swain

“ To get acceptance I've found you have to go through the struggle of accepting who you are. There'll be nights you can't find any shred of light, nights you scream into your pillow and bat your fists against the wall in frustration. But it's worth it in the end, it is. If you can call yourself beautifully you, than you've succeeded in life.” - Martha Vendowister

“ If you're different, welcome to the club, here we accept everyone no matter what gender they are, no matter who they love or the battle they fight. You can fight depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and if you've won that battle, you're strong as fuck, don't let anyone tell you ya aren't. Because you wake up tired just to fight the same demons that left you tired the night before, and that, is true bravery.” - Martha Vendowister

“ I find that life is worth it despite the scars in my heart, just because my heart aches doesn't mean it's not whole. Just because my mind is scarred, doesn't mean it can't bring me tranquility.” - Octavia Blackroad

"I'm curling back from the recoil of damage done and shots fired into the anomaly of my own heart. It's as vast as the oceans, and I drown in it's depths more often that not. I'm a mystery to even myself, I can't figure out the emotions in my own heart, and I fear I'll be gone and forgotten before the sun rises on the horizon.” - Stefania Saines

“ "You could live your whole life in a cage without once realizing it, or you could find the door was open all along if you just believed in yourself. The only cage you're in is one of doubt, if you doubt everything you can be, there's no key to the cell you've locked yourself in except for belief.” - Avirine Winning

“ You can't make a perception of me reality when it's just a deluded fantasy of your mind.” - Avirine Winning

“ How is it that I've dipped my fingers in the ashes of my family tree and all I find is old rotted bark and a hollow trunk? I find the flame of corruption and sin tore the dying tree asunder, rotted the families history in the most sinful of deeds.” - Merida Calico 

“ I've been in the trenches my whole life, but never was I the one hiding, always was I the one pulling the damn trigger.” - Merida Calico 

“ I've slaughtered innocent men and women, my lips taste of death and a desire to be loved.” - Merida Calico

“ I've been fightin' all my life, ain't no peace ever found in world war me, but I've found as long as I hold my head high, and soldier on, I'll breakout of the heart of darkness and find the light I seek.” - Alec Crabill

“ I've been through every fight imaginable, fought drug lord's in Bangladesh, rescued women and children from odds you don't wanna face unless you got a damn death wish. But here I am, beckoned by death yet bathed in life.” - Alec Crabill

“ I've been faced with many battles, the loss of my mother, ones fought with words and gunshot lullabies and serenades of violence and bloodshed. But here I am, singing a melody of love despite the hatred drowning out everything else.” - Jade Falls

“ I look into his eyes, I see pain, I see love and I see the world. He's everything I've ever wished to have, and here he is, loving me deeper than the ocean.” - Jade Falls

“ I once believed my parents house was a cell with no key, and yet my sister Emily, and her wonderful wife Lacey didn't need no key. They blasted a hole through the walls and broke me the fuck out.” - Alice Everest

“ The world ain't gone cold, we've just forgotten how to start a damn flame and ignite a spark. So live damn it, live." - Alice Everest

“ "I have been so consumed by shadow I imagine I've grown an appetite for it. I have found in the coldest of nights, I dance upon star dust and twirl through the ashes of planets I once called home.” - Night Sparrows

“ All I have are bad thoughts soaked in bad intentions. I often wonder how it is I ever survived when my mind wishes me to die. I fight, I scratch, I tear. And yet still I find only shadows.” - Night Sparrows

“ I dance in the blood of myself and bleed dry the girl I was.” - Violincia Bloodwort

"Here I am, choking on the numbness I feel, singing gunshot lullabies and serenades of nothingness. I in of myself, am a vacancy of everything my mother thought I'd be.” - Varkos Shevelwix 

“ I'm not quite righteous, not quite cruel I'm the grey area in-between. Somedays I'm colder than ice, others I wish naught to harm even a fly. I'm a duality of good and evil and I ponder on which shall win the war I wage with myself." - Varkos Shevelwix

“ Here I stand, in the ruins of Atlantis, swimming through the tide of lost life and spilt blood.” - Lawrence Gallagher 

“ That man ain't human, far as I'm concerned if you don't got no humanity you're a beast, and here, we put down beasts who god damn bite.” - Lawrence Gallagher 

"Ya know, I've learned the world don't much got sympathy for the living, and the living don't much got sympathy for the dead. We disrespect those that have passed, and destroy their legacy with rifles loaded with cruel remarks.” - Benedict Collins

“ It takes a lot 'a bravery ta accept yourself, let alone trust another ta accept you.” - Benedict Collins

"I ain't no saint, I've fought everything I ain't and I imagine somewhere along this broken path I found who I am. I've tasted one too many lips against mine, let too many cigarettes burn my lungs ta ash, but who said ya oughta be a saint to make it in the world huh?” - Becky Winters

“ Life is a constant struggle, but you don't succumb to it's damn riptide.” - Becky Winters

"All my life I imagine I've been told to be who I'm not, I find it impossible to find yourself if all your life all you've ever been was a spectacle of someone else.” - Sarkelus Johnnson

“ Karma is bound to catch up with me eventually, a man such as myself can't outrun her, only delay the inevitable.” - Sarkelus Johnnson

“ Oh how I wish I was strong. I could lift a blade, but I could not bring it down.” - Ashel

“ I don't believe in blood spilt for a good purpose. If it was so holy then it wouldn't be a damning offense.” - Ashel

“ We all lose ourselves at some point, but if you lose who you were, journey to find who you oughta be.” - Dory Villsworth

“ Life ain't darkness and darkness ain't life. It's just part of it. So get your shit together and move the fuck on with life. Don't let your past be an anchor, and don't be a ship at the bottom of the ocean.” - Dory Villsworth

"Most would rather drown in a blood soaked lie than choke on the truth.” - Simon Rossburg

“ I'm the monster this world needs, Mike Wazowski in a world full 'a Randalls.” - Simon Rossburg

“ Ya oughta sin ta win sometimes, that's just the cold bitter truth, and if ya can't swallow it, you're gonna damn well choke on it and die in the process 'a accepting it.” - Simon Rossburg

“ I ain't a part of my scars, they're a part of me. Sure, they hurt like Hell, but let 'em hurt, what's important is I let 'em fuckin' heal." - Carl Schillerstrom

“ This world would like to kick us down on the constant, but screw that, I'm not going down without a damn fight. I've been fighting all my life, what's another punch thrown huh? What's another damn bruise? I got plenty, yours won't hurt as bad as other's.” - Malilah Vivenwoker

"I'll weave this pain of mine into gold and these scars into strength.” - Kerrissa Vivenwoker

“ I've learned the world don't care about you, unless you care about yourself. Because you'll get nowhere if you feel sorry for yourself, you have to rise up and be your own armor sometimes. Sure, it may be rusted, but who said rusted armor can't stop a sword?” - Kerrissa Vivenwoker 

"Life has made me a gentle soul, though it was rough with me, I remain the softest spoken love in the air.” - Madison Rose

“ Love is a wonderful thing, it can make someone who's fallen to pieces whole. Someone who's fallen climb, and someone who feels nothings worth worth a million gold coins.” - Madison Rose

"I carry on despite the daggers in my back, you may bleed, but don't let your scars steal every drop of blood you have.” - Sabrina

“ Life will prosper as long as you let yourself grow. You're a flower, not a weed. Remember that. You aren't poisoning your own petals, you're watching them fall, and not picking them back up. So bloom, and remember, even the smallest seed, can become the most beautiful flower." - Sabrina

“ Oh mother dear I know you yearn to see me use this power of mine for good, oh sister dear how you wish I'd protect you from the heat of this world's hate, but all three of us burned. And dying changes a woman.” - Autumn Wolfmoon

“ I see their father in everything they do, their smile, their spunk attitude, sometimes I feel I'm haunted by Dominic's memory, but then I remember even ghosts can be friendly.” - Martha Honeycomb 

“ Oh how Delilah makes my heart soar. My beautiful Amish girl. She lives life so simply, she cherishes every little moment, and I cherish every little moment I have with her. She's showed me just how amazing life can be.” - Laura Hollinger

“ My life's been dark, it's been crummy, but ya know what? I rose in spite of that. I won't let my scars define me, I'll define my damn scars.” - Laura Hollinger

“ Life has been a rather interestin' ride, once I believed I had ta choose between my old lifestyle, and dis new one dat had found me. But I found dat I have ta combine da both of them, because they're both a part of me, and I imagine neither side will leave my heart. If you are faced with choosin' who you were, and who ya are, I advise you combine the two, and become the beauty you are ta be." - Delilah Miller

"Black rain pitter patters against my heart and soul, I imagine it drowned the noble man I was, and out rose the wicked and corrupt creature of the storm inside my bones.” - Theodora Crimsonburn

“ I imagine my daughters can't look up to me. Despite how I protect them so, I forgot to protect my heart, and I imagine that's why I lost it.” - Theodora Crimsonburn

“ "If it is only human to sin, tell me why it is I am labeled monster. In all of my monstrosity I find I am only human, and oh, isn't that the most terrifying thing of all? My lack of humanity, yet despite all that, being human?” - Quentin Satchel 

“ Redemption was never an option, because I was born on the edge of Hell, but stepped on other's backs to reach Heaven.” - Quentin Satchel

“ Every life taken to me is just.. another Tuesday. It's a chore, one I fulfill only to get back to my task at hand.” - Quentin Satchel 

"My memory is a peculiar place, forgotten are the scars of my past, but wonderous are the joys in this life of mine.” - Joe Paquil

“ I have found this world will kick you around some before it gives you peace of mind, but don't let the kicking kill ya. As a bull rider wouldn't let the tussle kill him, you won't let the fight for the reward kill you.” - Joe Paquil 

“ Cold waters can only freeze you if you jump in. And if you're pushed, you fight to get out.” - Joe Paquil

“ Life can be a struggle, God... how I know how difficult it can be. But in the end, you'll realize struggle is a part of life, and it's only a small part of it. You may get kicked down on the constant, but one day you'll rise, and you're gonna do it with a frikkin' smile! Okay?” - Sandra Crumbs

“ "Oh I imagine the echoes of gunfire and sin ring in my ears, and all I ever was is consumed by a sinful melody, it's chorus one of broken bones, and it's bridge one of spilt blood.” - Nestor Bevelricks 

“ Ya know, I asked God where the hell he went, and the only answer I got was a cool breeze in the midnight air.” - Nestor Bevelricks 

"I've found the difference between a loving God and a cruel one is your perception of cruelty." - Nestor Bevelricks

“ She is da beauty ta my beast. Da rose ta my thorn. And da plant in me garden 'a weeds. All it takes is one flower ta make a garden bootiful.” - Stephen Vail

“ I 'ave learned doe my anger is strong, I am stronger.” - Stephen Vail

“ Amber is da moother I never 'ad, though I've heard of the woman who gave me life, and from what I can see, Amber is everythin' she'd eva' wish ta raise. Thorne, despite 'er damn struggles wif' 'er mental illness, takes care of those around 'er. And Jesse? Despite 'er fear, she stays fokin' brave as a captain sailin' straight inta da eye of da hurricane.” - Stephen Vail

“ I wasn't born with this killer body. I had to fight for it. I had to pay for it. It was fucking expensive. But you know what? I'd give away all the money in the world to be myself.” - Emanuel Trueblood

“ Only the dead 'ave seen the end of war I imagine, they got peace, we have ta carry war on our shoulders every damn day. The weight of it is impossible ta lift, and yet ya do it anyways.” - Deandra Phoenix

“ Ain't who I were. Not no more. Just a coffin, I imagine. Lower me down, bury me underneath America's soil and remember I once stained it crimson, but blood seeps through the dirt and is often forgotten.” - Deandra Phoenix

“ The hauntings of war echo on the cool night air. The fire reminds me of the sparks of my revolver, the night sky reminds me of the starless nights spent on the battlefield, and the dirt reminds me of the bodies buried. Everything is a reminder of war. Once you've fought it, you can't ever stop fighting it.” - Deandra Phoenix 

"Life don't gotta be perfect, just lived to it's fullest extent. And besides, if you live your life to it's fullest, isn't that perfect despite the struggles?” - Brandon Killovitch

“ She saved my life.. and I imagine I saved hers. She used to be a train-wreck, but, so did I. But together, we fought each other's battles, she still has that wild side, but it makes her her, and I accept everything she is, because she's beautiful and I'm in love with everything she was, everything she is, and everything she'll become.” - Brandon Killovitch

"I'm nothing short of sinful, just a bonfire with kerosene swallowing everything around her whole, burning down the fields of her innocence in one fell swoop.” - Kareath Calico

[skull-bxund]

[ @britishpokechap | x ]

“...’s fine babe i just....”

          The Alolan shoved one of the nearby throw pillows over his face, letting out a frustrated scream.

“...’s...’s not ya fault....jus’...tired a everyone buttin’ inta our life...an’....an’...”

          and the gossip, the rumours he’s heard being said about the nature of his relationship with Victor, speculation on his own intentions...the people trying to dig up every bit of his past because of who he’s dating...

“......”

                   ....or the sinking feeling that JC’s just dragging Victor’s name through the mud...

“......”

                    ...or that Victor almost certainly deserves better than him....

“...sorry, babe..i...i shouldn’t be dumpin all a my bullshit on ya...”

                              ‘damn straight asshole...he already deserves better, don’t burden him with your shit while you’re already dragging him down’

[isitgintimeyet]

The Ties That Bind

AO3

Previous

Thank you all for reading and commenting.

Thanks to @mo-nighean-rouge for the beta

Chapter 18: A Way Forward

“Jane, I never meant to wound you thus… Will you ever forgive me?" Reader, I forgave him at the moment and on the spot. - Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

Claire groaned and pulled the duvet over her head. The curtains had not been closed last night. She obviously had had other things on her mind, and the sun was streaming into the bedroom. She debated whether she had the energy to get out of bed to draw them. Her decision was made as her stomach suddenly lurched unpleasantly and she rushed to the bathroom.

Sitting on the bathroom floor, her arms wrapped around the toilet bowl, Claire thought about what she had to do today. In her own mind, she had made her decision, whether rightly or wrongly, but she still had to talk to Jamie and sort out a way forward - a workable solution. But first, another nap was in order. She got up very slowly and eased her way back into bed, remembering to close the curtains en route. Snuggling down under the covers, she drifted back off to sleep.

Claire had just started a conversation with the rapper Vanilla Ice about jam sandwiches when she felt Prince William’s hand on her arm, prodding repeatedly to attract her attention but somehow speaking with a Scottish accent. She rose slowly into consciousness and screamed as a tall, ginger Viking loomed over her bed.

“Christ, Sassenach, I could have been anyone. Ye dinna lock yer front door last night.”

“Oh, right.” Claire sat up and tried to run her fingers through her hair. Her mouth tasted like an old sock and, looking down, she realised she had slept in the t-shirt she wore the day before, now adorned with dubious stains. She recognised whisky and toothpaste, but blackcurrant jam and ketchup?

She tried not to breathe on Jamie as she spoke. “What are you doing here?”

“Weel, when ye texted me last night…”

“I did?”

“Aye, ye did. Check yer phone. Yer spelling was no’ too good, by the way. Ye said ye wanted tae talk tomorrow, which is now today. I’ve rung ye about a dozen times this morning wi’ no answer. I see why now. Anyway, I rang yer office and they said that ‘twas a day off. So I came over here, knocked on yer door, no answer, came in and here I am.”

He patted Claire’s head affectionately. “So get up and I’ll make ye a coffee.”

As Jamie moved into the kitchen, Claire flopped back on the pillows, trying to gather up the energy to join him. The smell of fresh coffee finally motivated her. Wrapping her faded old bathrobe around her, she stumbled into the living room.

Jamie had been busy. The debris from the night before had been cleared away and on the dining table he had laid out glasses of orange juice, coffee mugs, plates, knives, butter and napkins. From a white bakery box, delicious smells wafted towards Claire’s nose. Her stomach rumbled appreciatively as Jamie came to the table with a cafetière of strong coffee.

“I hope that means ye’re hungry and no’ that ye’re goin’ ta puke. Either sit down or head tae the bathroom.”

Claire chose to sit. Jamie poured the coffee and opened the box. “Ye said ye wanted croissants and I dinna ken which tae get, so I got a selection fer ye.”

Claire’s hand hovered over the pastries, dithering between a pain au raisin and an almond croissant. Finally selecting the almond croissant, she dropped it on her plate and looked across at Jamie. Outwardly he seemed quite calm, but she could feel the table vibrate slightly as his knee waggled up and down nervously. Dark circles ringed his eyes, the result of a couple of nights of poor sleep. Claire knew they had to finish their previous discussion, but needed coffee and food before tackling that.

“When did I say I wanted croissants?” She asked between mouthfuls.

“In yer text last night, can ye no’ remember?”

“I can’t even remember where my phone is, let alone what’s on it!” She scanned the room and eventually located the phone. She retrieved it from the yucca’s plant pot and scrolled through the screens - twelve missed calls from Jamie, four from Geillis - until she found her messages to Jamie.

“I have no recollection of sending those.”

“Aye weel, I could tell ye were well gone. Drunk textin’. But, as they say, in vino veritas. And I think ye were putting the blame squarely on the wee sperms.” Jamie immediately winced, regretting his flippancy. He and Claire seemed to be regaining some sort of equilibrium in their relationship. Now was not the time to jeopardise it with careless jokes or teasing.

Fortunately, Claire decided to ignore his last statement.

“Jamie,” she sighed. “We do need to discuss what’s going on and how it’ll affect us…”

Jamie opened his mouth to interrupt and Claire held her hand up to stop him, shaking her head.

“It has to affect us. It can’t not. We have other people to consider and we need a way forward. But I can’t focus while I need a shower. Please give me ten minutes, then we can discuss this.”

She headed towards the bathroom.

“Claire, I dinna want this tae come between us.”

At the doorway, Claire turned, looked at him and smiled. The first real smile he’d seen from her since he told her the news. A smile that reached her eyes and touched his heart.

“I know, Jamie, neither do I.”

******

Showered and dressed in clean t-shirt and shorts, Claire felt much better. Better than she ought to, considering the amount of whisky she had consumed. Not bothering to dry her hair, she made her way into the living room to find that Jamie had cleared all the breakfast plates away and was in the kitchen, bending over the dishwasher.

“Ye made good inroads intae the whisky last night, I see.” He commented without looking up as he rearranged the crockery to his liking. “But did I see an ice bucket there? Adding ice tae the twenty-five year old special reserve, what were ye thinkin’?”

“At the time, I was thinking that you were a dickhead and I wanted to prove you wrong.”

Claire leant against the kitchen counter. Jamie closed the dishwasher and stood up.

“And, was it…” He turned to face her. “Christ, Sassenach, I forget how beautiful ye are all fresh and clean from the shower.”

He snaked his hand round her waist. She pulled away and walked to the living room.

“No distractions, Jamie. We have to talk. Keep your libido under control.” She stopped and pulled a face.

“See, this is one of the things that is worrying me. Will we have no-go areas? Jokes we can’t make? Will I not be able to tease you about being insatiable? Will you worry about me every time we walk past a pram? Every time you open up a condom, will you be worrying about how I will react? Will I be thinking about…? You see, I find it difficult even saying her name to you. I want us to be together but there’s so much to consider. So many problems.”

Claire sat down. Jamie joined her, carefully positioning himself, close but not quite touching. Seemingly calm, only the drumming of his fingers against his knee reflected his anxiety. He waited, knowing Claire had more to say.

“I can’t even say her name to you, and she would be part of our lives. Of course I’m worried. She used to be your girlfriend, you obviously had some connection. What if, when you see her getting bigger with your child, feeling the baby move… what if you want to be a family?”

“Claire, what can I say that I havena said already? I’m sorry that this has happened. I’m sorry fer ma behaviour the other night. And I love ye and that willna change. If I’d have wanted tae be in a relationship with her, I would be in one, bairn or no bairn. A baby willna change that.”

Jamie placed his arm round Claire. She let him, but made no move to draw closer to him.

“And as fer all yer other questions, I dinna ken. ‘Twill no doubt become easier with time, although it’s awkward now. I wish this wasna happening, but it is. What I can answer I will. So, what is yer next question?”

“I’m just going to be direct here. Do you really think it’s your baby? Could it be someone else?”

Jamie sighed. “I really do. How can I say this? She wanted a relationship and thought I’d go back tae her, even when I told her it wouldna work - she told me that. She wouldna risk a bairn by another man. If it wasna an accident, I suppose she thought she’d have more chances when I went back tae her. Turns out she didna need those chances.” He added bitterly.

Claire was silent for a moment, before speaking. “I’ve just realised, in all our talking, I’ve not asked you. How are you with this news, Jamie? You’ve been so worried about how it affects me, and really it’s you who will have to deal with the biggest changes.”

“Truthfully?”

Claire nodded.

“Honestly, I’m beyond scared. I want a family, aye, but at some point in the future, in a lovin’ relationship. And now, the decision has been made and I’m goin’ tae be a father. Wi’ a woman who, truth be told, I dinna particularly like. And I have tae figure out how tae support her, wi’out leading her on and set boundaries as tae what I will and willna do. I will go tae hospital appointments wi’ her but I willna be in the delivery room. I’ll give her sister, Isobel, a call. Ye’ll like her… she’s nothin’ like Geneva. Then once the bairn is born, I can arrange me visitin’ and then havin’ the bairn at home wi’ me. But I want ye tae be there, to be part of it.”

Jamie looked at Claire and lightly ran his thumb down her cheek, now damp with tears. “The thing that scares me most about this whole thing is that I’ll lose ye. Ye say that ye worry about me going tae her… but I worry that I’ve screwed up so bad that ye canna be with me. And there’s nothin’ I can do. I’ve complicated yer life, brought ye sae much worry, I jes hope ye think it’s worth it.”

For the first time since Jamie told her the news, Claire felt the tension in her shoulders start to dissolve. She knew, complications or not, that this was where she wanted to be. Not the easy option, with a number of challenges over the coming months, but together they would be able to handle them.

Jamie ran his hands through his hair, frustration clear on his face. He realised there were so many questions they couldn’t yet answer, but as long as he had Claire with him, he was confident of the future.

His mind allowed his body to relax for the first time in two days. He could feel his muscles unclench. He tried, unsuccessfully, to suppress a yawn. Claire caught his attempt and laughed. The sound of it made his heart leap.

“Is this all getting a bit boring for you?”

“Sorry, Sassenach, I’ve no’ had much sleep these past two nights.”

“I’ve got just the cure for that. Come with me.”

Claire led Jamie to the bedroom. He paused at the doorway.

“Wait, tae bed or tae sleep, because I’m no’ sure…”

Claire got into bed, pulling the covers down and patting the space next to her.

“Oh, definitely to sleep. I’ve not slept well either. And my drunken coma last night was not what you’d call refreshing. Now come here and spoon me.”

Jamie needed no further invitation. Stripping down to his briefs, he crawled into bed beside Claire. Pulling her close into him, his chest to her back, her arse wedged tightly at his groin, he sighed. Another thought sprang into his mind.

“I have one more question, Sassenach. I have tae tell Da and Jenny about all this. Jenny, Ian and the bairns are heading up tae Lallybroch next weekend. Are ye on call or no’?”

Jamie could feel Claire’s curls, still damp from the shower, tickling his nose as she shook her head.

“Grand. Will ye drive up wi’ me? We… that is, I, can tell them together.”

“So you want me for moral support, huh?”

“Actually, Sassenach, I want ye as a human shield. Jenny scares the hell out o’ me.”

[haven-raven012591]

The Queens New Pet!

(found this and this is what loosely inspired this)

Raven walked toward his study one night after she saw he wasn't in their chambers. "Balor." Raven asked as she knocked. "Come in." Balor said. She went in and he looked up. His eyes lit up and she smiled softly at him. "What do ya need, my queen?" Balor asked as he sat back in his chair. She went to him and sat on his lap. "My King in our bed." Raven said. He laughed and kissed her softly. "I'd love ta be tere My Queen, but as your King I have more pressing matters tonight." Balor said.

"More than what's pressing against my ass?" Raven teased. "Unfortunately my love." Balor said. She ran her fingers over his chest. "I miss you when you work like this." Raven said. "I miss ya as well my beautiful Raven." Balor said. She laid her head in his neck and he smiled. "How long can ya sit still?" Balor asked. "Depends." Raven said. "On what?" Balor asked. "How comfy I am." Raven said. Balor moved in his chair and wrapped her in a blanket. "Sit with me." Balor said. "I'll try baby." Raven said.

He rolled his chair up as she put her head in his neck closing her eyes. He went back to work as she tried to drift off to sleep. As soon as she was asleep he got up and took her to bed. He knew all she wanted was to be in his arms and near him. As he laid her down one of her crows landed on the perch on her night stand. He stroked it's feathers and it cawed happily for him. "Watch over her." Balor whispered. It nodded and looked at Raven. "Balor." Raven sighed and pulled his pillow to her chest. His scent and warmth is what she wanted.

The crows couldn't cuddle with her and he had to do more work. He stroked her hair and opened the music box she'd had forever. "Rest well my Queen." Balor said. He went back to the study and did more work. "No!" Raven whimpered, and started thrashing in her sleep. Her back arched as her eyes rolled back in her head. The Raven flew to Balor's study and landed on his chair cawing. Balor ran to their room and picked her up. "Shh Raven shh it's alright." Balor soothed. She gripped his biceps and looked at him with white eyes.

"She will be ours, she's destined to have the child!" Raven said. Her voice was deeper and was that of an angel. Balor could feel the angels energy around her. She was shaking and as soon as Balor touched her head she passed out. "I believe it's time ya had a cuddle buddy and extra protection." Balor said. He stroked her hair his claws extended so they lightly scratched her scalp. He loved her more than anything. She sighed and her eyes opened to reveal piercing hazel eyes. "Are you coming to bed?" Raven asked.

Balor kissed her forehead and she smiled. "My protector." Raven sighed. "Always." Balor said. He got up and changed for bed. She looked at his back and noticed how the markings seemed to slowly vanish. "Balor, what's wrong?" Raven asked. He turned and her eyes widened. "What do ya see?" Balor asked. She got up and went to him. "My Balor." Raven said. "Still?" Balor asked. She saw how tired he was and caressed his cheek. "Always now come to bed your tried." Raven said.

He grabbed her wrist when she turned and she licked her lips. "Yer dream what was it?" Balor asked. She pulled her wrist from his hand and turned. "A man was in here he was tall, blind hair, very big and he felt evil." Raven said. "His eyes!" Balor snapped. "I think they were blue." Raven said. "What did he do?" Balor growled. "He w...he tried to kiss me." Raven said. He watched her eyes move rapidly as she relived the dream. Balor laid his forehead to hers and kissed her softly. "I am sorry if I scared you my beautiful bird." Balor soothed.

"I have to admit you did." Raven whispered. "Yer very special my Raven, if I could tell ya how special I would." Balor said. "But you can't?" Raven asked. "No lass, it has ta do wit a deal made eons before ya were ever even tougt of." Balor said. His accent was getting thicker. "Can you tell me if it has to do with me being a witch?" Raven asked. "It doesn't love, not tis time." Balor smiled. "Your hands are cold, I didn't think you could get cold." Raven said softly. He cupped her cheek and she closed her eyes. "I have ta go, I can't stay I have ta find some tings out." Balor said.

"Your tired Balor, it can wait." Raven said as she took his hand. His other hand came up to her cheek and she gasped falling backwards as she shoved herself back. "Raven." Balor said as he caught her. "I saw you." Raven panted. "Saw me?" Balor asked confusedly. "With another woman." Raven said. He sat her down and kneeled in front of her taking her hands. "Not since you." Balor vowed. "Demons lie." Raven said softly. Tears ran down her cheeks and he gripped her hands. "I swear it, Raven I've been here wit ya every night!" Balor protested.

"Leave!" Raven screamed and he was thrown from the room. The doors slammed shut and he heard her sobbing. He ripped the doors from their hinges and she looked up. "Balor!" Raven said. He was with her in two strides and he pulled her up. "See the truth!" Balor panted. She put a shaking hand on his heart and saw the truth. He had been faithful to a fault. "Someone is using my abilities to plant false visions." Raven said. He lifted her chin with his thumb and forefinger. "Willow will teach ya how ta prevent it." Balor said.

"Balor I...I'm so sorry." Raven said. He kissed her deeply holding her head between his hands. She gasped as he moved so fast and had her on her back on their bed. "Only you can satisfy me." Balor whispered to her lips. "I love you." Raven said. "I love you too." Balor said. He kissed her again and wrapped her legs around his hips, sliding his hands down her thighs as she willingly allowed him control of her body. She put her hands on his biceps and felt something different. He pulled back and she looked at his biceps.

"What the hell!" Raven asked. "Remember our first time?" Balor asked. "Vividly." Raven giggled. "Tose are yer hand prints." Balor said. She looked at him and shook her head. "I haven't felt them since then." Raven said. "Ya've been too busy moaning by the time yer hands get ta my arms." Balor said. She blushed and he smirked. "Can others see them?" Raven asked. "Yes." Balor said. She blushed more and he lowered himself on her laying his lips to her ear. "Ya marked me as I did you." Balor said and bit deep into his mark.

She grabbed his hair as her back arched, and her head fell back to her pillow. He licked her neck and she looked into two jet black eyes as he laid his forehead to hers. "Yer magic mixed with the heat from my skin and ya marked me as yers." Balor said. "I...if you want I can take them off." Raven said as she put her hands on his biceps. He had her hands chained to the bed in seconds. "The fuck ya will, ya seem ta tink I hate tem." Balor growled. She blinked as her heart raced as she gazed up at him. "Do ya want mine gone?" Balor asked.

She shook her head as he leaned down. "Don't!" Raven panted. Blue flames erupted on her body and he moved away. "Raven calm down!" Balor soothed. She closed her eyes and chanted some spell willow had taught her. The flames vanished and he kissed her forehead. "Sleep." Balor whispered, to her skin and she was asleep instantly. He unchained her and kissed her softly. "Willow has taught ya well." Balor said. He wrapped her up and put a crow next to her on the perch. She sighed in her sleep as her brown black hair fell over her face.

He walked out and put the doors back on their hinges. As he closed them he watched her wishing he could sleep with her. "Sire." Willow bowed.

The masked man laughed and smiled. "Ya've taught her well but ya have ta teach her the dispossesssion spell." Balor growled. "Angels again?" Willow asked on a twisted grin. Balor had the magician against the wall in seconds his eyes pitch black. "Do not fuck wit me willow!" Balor growled. Willow laughed and disappeared from Balor's grasp. "I cannot." Willow said.

"Ya can or ya will be thrown inta a pit!" Balor snarled. "You wish her to die." Willow accused. Balor grabbed him by the trench coat and Willow vanished and laughing rang out in the study. "Fight fair ya fuckin ghost!" Balor roared. Willow appeared on the desk and waved with his fingers. "If I catch ya she'll need a new teacher!" Balor snapped. "Easy sire, I cannot teach her because she cannot handle it." Willow said. "Her body just erupted inta flames!" Balor said. His claws where cutting his palms.

"She's just not ready Balor, and I will not harm her you brought me here to teach her not kill her!" Willow pointed out. Balor sat down and looked at Willow. The black and white mask and the white eyes were eerie to look at which was why Balor chose him. "Ten how do I protect her when i am not tere?" Balor asked. "Might I suggest a hell hound, I have a new litter." Willow said. "I didn't know ya were a bitch, Willow." Balor said. "Fuck off Balor!" Willow spat. They laughed and Willow looked at Balor. "She should pick the pup." Willow said.

Balor nodded. "Tomorrow when she goes for her lesson, I'll be wit her." Balor said. "As you wish, sire!" Willow said and vanished. Balor went back to his bed chamber and laid with her. "Where'd you go?" Raven asked as she snuggled close. "I had ta talk ta Willow." Balor said. "I've never felt safer with you three around me." Raven whispered as she drifted off. "I shall always protect ya my love I promise." Balor said. He went to sleep with her. She was up first and in the shower. He laid their listening to her sing. She was so happy now.

Even after all that happened she was happy. Just then he heard glass break and he ran to the bathroom. "Raven." Balor said. She looked up and her eyes were blood red. "Shit!" Balor growled. Her eyes did that now when she was having flashbacks of what happened. "Raven breathe." Balor said. She smirked and threw him back. When he hit the wall his wings flew out. Her hand closed around his throat as she leaned in. "She's fun to play with." Raven said. Balor grabbed her hand and he froze. If he snapped her arm then she'd wake up and be scared or him.

But if he didn't do something she'd kill him. To think the only woman he'd ever truly loved could kill him in seconds. "Balor." Raven whispered. He held her close as she shook now. "Shh I've got ya Raven yer safe now." Balor soothed. "Can you come with me today, please?" Raven asked. "I'm yer faithful companion." Balor said. He kissed her softly and he held her tighter. They got dressed and went to Willows house. Balor laughed as the hell hound puppies met them at the door. "Aww they're so cute." Raven cooed.

She walked in and Willow attacked her. She threw him into the wall and Balor grabbed him by the throat. "I'll end you for this!" Balor snarled. "Balor stop baby." Raven said going to them. "He attacked you." Balor snapped. "To get me to use my defensive magic, he always does this." Raven explained. Balor dropped Willow and walked out. Raven ran to him and cupped his cheek. "Thank you for protecting me my love, no woman has a better protector than the one I've got." Raven said. Balor cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead.

She giggled as one of the pups attacked her feet. "Aww look at you being all big and bad." Raven said picking up the pup. She smiled and the pup licked her nose. "Willow." Balor called. Willow came out umbrella in hand. "Ah I see." Willow said. "It chose her." Balor said. Raven looked at the two men. "Really?" Raven asked excitedly as she grinned. "Yes." Balor said. "Baby thank you." Raven said. She had such a gentle soul and it needed his protection more than ever now. "He will be able ta sleep wit you when I can't, and once Willow infuses him with magic tis little guy will answer only ta you." Balor said.

Raven looked at the pup in her arms and he tilted his head. "Eerrr yip!" He said. "You need to name him." Willow said. Raven stroked his pitch black fur and though. "Hello Nightmare." Raven said. Willow and Balor exchanged looks that said what the fuck? "Nightmare yet naming him nightmare!" Balor said. "He is a hell hound he needs a good name." Raven said matter of factly. Willow took him and looked at Raven. "Your hand." Willow said. She gave it too him and he slit her palm. Raven hissed in a breath and nightmare growled.

Willow collected the blood then Balor took her hand licking the cut. Balor froze as her blood ran across his tongue. She had to know didn't she? If she didn't and he told her what would happen? She loved him right, would she welcome this? The world fell away as he looked at her. She was watching and listening to Willows spell. "Now he will answer to you and will be protected by your magic." Willow said turning back to them. "Raven." Balor breathed. "What?" Raven asked. "Yer pregnant." Balor said.

@thegloriousdisaster @kittysilver86 @scuzmunkie @team-elias @alexnine @lauri3strode @hardyfangirl3 @balorbj @balordominion @loveroflive78 @wrestlingxbalorxrollins @adriennegabriella @soulofaravenheartofawolf @ladylucksposts @livelifebeautifully81 @calwitch @briqueenofthenorth @2sweetqueen @meremaidqueen @queenofthearchitect @dolphinpink310 @mohawkmama @alternateafterthought

[mrsunderhill678]

Me? Writing? Never

“My heart's grown frail, as if it's elastic and everyone's looking to pull it back and snap it.” - Gloria Gothenburg

“To my husband, I still love you so. I know I'm but a pale flicker of me, but would you still hold my scarred and tragic hand? Would you still gently kiss my pale and bruised skin? Would you still love me past this terrible gait; past the way my skin clings to my bones and my clothes hand to my skin? Would you still kiss these chapped lips? Would you still dig your fingers into the notches of this rotted spine? But most importantly of all, my love, would you still crave for the gasps in my breath as you press your lips against all of me? Would you still love these broken pieces of me? And to my lovely daughter, would you still call this skeleton your mother? Would you still call this tragic thing, this morbid vessel of pale flesh and bruised lips your hero? Would you still step on these tired feet as we dance under the kitchen lights? Would you still feel safe in these arms that cling to little more than bone? But most importantly of all, my daughter, would you still love these eyes that are lost and this mind that's gone mad? To my love, to my darling daughter, would you accept these apologies, would you forgive me for becoming all the things I'm not?”

“Some people get inta dis way'a thinkin' that if they're hurt, they're innately flawed and don't deserve love. But mate, mistakes make you 'uman, so fall, and trip, and bloody stumble until you feel alive. Bruises, scrapes, scars and all. Because it's da life well lived dat makes you bootiful. Da 'eart dat 'as been broken is da 'eart dat has been loved before. So break, crumble, become sumfin' new so long as it's you. Stay awake and count da stars as you lay your 'ead down on a soft green pillow, wrapped in a blanket'a night and shad'a. Walk on da tightrope and touch da sky wif da tips'a your fingers, blow a kiss to da wind and press your lips against your mistakes. Fall in love and dance with life, my friend. Because it is beautiful, and it is young, and it is bold. It is ugly, and it is old, and it is cowardly. Life, is everything dat evah could be, everythin' dat evah will be, so make of it wot ya will and dream of all da things you could be. Only ta open your eyes and realize they're all da things dat you are.” - Katerina LaSavannia

“I breathed the name of my savior in my hour of need; and it tasted like a forgotten sound on my tongue. Because all my prayers landed on deaf ears and everything around me came crashing down like great big splats of rain.” - Finch Mathers

“My son tells me I tried the best I could, I just gotta hold on. But ever since my dear Evangeline passed away it's felt like there's no real reason ta hold on. I'm at the edge of a cliffside and there she is at the bottom, smilin' that pretty smile'a hers', singin' that beautiful song'a hers's. And I get ta thinkin' it wouldn't be so bad, ta fall. Ta take one step toward my salvation on wings I never built and meet the one I love at the end'a my plummet. But I always pull back because I fear I would weep as I fall from the heavens, that my tears would become prayers floating in the air and they'd fall on sorrowed, listening ears of those who knew me.” - Finch Mathers

“I hold power over myself, I am my own messiah, my own martyr. It is myself I crucify, it is myself I drown under baptism.” - Felix Cuttle

“Gentle, sorrowed and true I withered away, peeling back and opening up like a dying black rose. And away from myself I soared, watching mournfully and tragically as I grew further and further away; until I was hardly anything at all.” - Felix Cuttle

“I, my friend, am but a vulture in the skies, beady eyes peering down at the weary as I wait for them to drop. And they do indeed. And as they do I swoop down with bloodthirsty talon and tongue, and I tear away at the memories like flesh until the living become the dead and the dead become the forgotten.” - Felix Cuttle

“Power is a double edged blade and it sinks into the hearts of he who is targeted and he who wields the sword.” - Felix Cuttle

“To defy destiny is to become nothing at all, my friend.” - Felix Cuttle

“I was raised in the town peace forgot, and as bastards and blood ran through the streets I came ta realize ya can't rely on higher powers for mortal matters.” - Crivler Wulv

“Thing is, I ain't a hero. I've watched men go down in sprays'a buckshot after I pulled the trigger, sunk inta puddles'a blood as I grasped at survival, drunken my life away and passed away a day or two at a time. But I'm tryin', damn it. I'm tryin. And that's more than most broke back, killin' bastards do nowadays.” - Crivler Wulv

“ The human race ain't built on cruelty, the rule'a man ain't blood for blood or violence for violence. We are built on the tremblin' back'a love, and she lifts us up despite the weight's our sins on her spine. Cause she loves, and she loves, and she loves, even when it hurts. Even when it kills. Cause that's what love is. Ya can't love just in the light, you gotta love the dark, too. Cause if it weren't for the shadows in the night sky, them stars would never shine.” - Crivler Wulv

“You know, they always describe Icarus' fall as something beautiful. They say he fell, laughing and grinning with glee as his skin burned with righteous fury. They romanticize the way his breath left his lungs as his broken body hit the water. They make poetry out of the way the water filled and clogged his veins, they make songs and melodies out of the way he sunk, and he sunk, and he sunk. And they say it was divine. But as I watched that man fall, it was ugly, it was crooked. He grasped at the clouds screaming, tears falling from his eyes as blood left his body. He hit the water like a stone; but he did not ripple across the surface. He sunk, and he sunk, and he sunk as a silent scream ripped through his throat; and all his prayers were filled with saltwater; and like wine passing through water, the color of his identity was altered.” - Kurt Shaydow

“We're just puppets to life, dancing and jerking through the crowd; contorted and ugly because of the way our pain breaks us into shape.” - Kurt Shaydow

“You know, I get to wonderin' where all the days of childhood went. All the green hills are dry, the gardens have withered and died, the forests are nuthin' but oak and brown leaves scattered across ash; and all that was beautiful has met it's death to time.” - Kurt Shaydow

“I was just a whiskey drinkin', cigarette lullaby, wonderin' when his better days would come. But when I had my daughter, when I heard her laugh for the first time, I found some odd redemption swimmin' in her eyes, and it was that young girl that set me free from this prison'a flesh I'd found myself in. And as I look ta Felicia, and see her eyes twinklin' with joy and some smile ya just can't kill, I know I rolled my die and got myself a pair'a sixes on the table.” - Chester Abe

“Felicia took broken pieces'a me and called em masterpieces, my daughters wrapped a cape 'round my shoulders and called this tired soul a hero.” - Chester Abe

“I was at rock bottom starin' at the sun from the darkest place on Earth, but as I made my climb and the warmth trickled inta my bones I wept; cause I knew I'd been saved. And my tears created little footprints in the soil, and with my tears'a joy and redemption I paved a path that I would walk for the rest'a my days; hero's cape flyin' in the wind, sun high in the sky as I make my way ta a thing I call life.” - Chester Abe

“I think, when it comes to pain we have two choices. We can store that pain deep inside a locked box we never explore, miles and miles of rusted chain coiled around the locket, in a place we'd never dare explore. Or we can let it build us as it flows through us. We can let the scars hurt; so long as we let them heal.” - Kaylie Scarrow

“It must be such a sad existence, to hate, and to hate, and to hate until you can love no more. The truth is always gonna find us, like light in the darkness and darkness in the light. It waits, like a wolf stalking the rabbit and the rabbit creeping up on the dandelion fluttering in the soft Summer breeze. The truth is a matter of perspective, to some, it's the darkness and the wolf, to others; it's the light and the curious rabbit. In the end, it's always going to find us, and whether it kills us or empowers us is entirely up, to us.” - Kaylie Scarrow

“I used to be a real angry man. Angry at the world, at the face in the mirror, at the way fate rumbles and thrives and kills. But as Spring danced her fingers against my skin little blossoms of color began to appear where all the bruises used ta hide. When she pressed her lips 'gainst mine for the first time I felt as if I was finally becomin' human after all these years of bein' no more than a vessel'a anger and hurt.” - Phil Scarrow

“The way I see it, we're all human, we got misbeliefs and lies in our hearts that drive us down the path too familiar, but it's the truth that sets us free. It's the road unpaved the leads us ta who we're meant ta be.” - Phil Scarrow

“With rifles, and blades, and pistols, humanity's digging it's own grave, shoveling gunpowder over an open casket.” - Ezekiel Sistek

“This world is still worth fighting for, so I pick up my pistol and I pull back the hammer, knowing this bullet is carved with the names of all the warlords who thought they could control the people before.” - Ezekiel Sistek

“You can't silence the voice of revolution.” - Ezekiel Sistek

“My mind's an echo chamber where my sadness tends to lie.” - Euclid Keterbaun

“Human cruelty has gone far beyond the bounds and limitations of man.” - Euclid Keterbaun

“We stare up into the eyes of the gods and the roots of heaven, looking on idly as the roots burn; watching carelessly as the eyes go bloodshot with anger and red rain falls like tears from the sky.” - Euclid Keterbaun

“Humanity has dug it's own grave and our shovel was the slow and steady discovery of who we are.” - Euclid Keterbaun

“I was just a man who wanted to change the world, oh the places I thought I would go, oh the things I thought I would change! But it wasn't fortune I built with these wicked hands. It wasn't any change worth having. There's emotion caked under my fingernails, emptiness slathered across my hands, and all around me the dust of human empathy twists and swirls; like the serpent who told me to sin.” - Euclid Keterbaun

“I put my armor on and strapped wax wings to my back; only to fall away from the sun, grasping at the fingers of the gods as I fell, laughing and howling because I knew this was it. This is how I die. And I did, I most certainly did, but I lived, I lived, and there's something so fucking painful about that.” - Euclid Keterbaun

“We pulled a mask over our faces, a skin tight mask, and we stitched it together with little gifts of empathy, with little threads of emotions we don't want to feel. And we wore a thousand faces, and we wore a thousand faces more, a dozen different smiles spread across our lives, a hundred different hearts beating in our broken little chests. And we run from who we are, bumping into five hundred different identities in the crowd because who we are was never worth being. So we fill a needle with ourselves and inject them through our necks and hope the bruise makes it easier to be somebody we're not. But we didn't alter a thing, we didn't create anything new, all we did was control our own sorrow.” - Euclid Keterbaun

“This war of change is unwinnable and I'm just clutching to the rifle that killed me.” - Estarla Vagabond

“Isparlia looks into my eyes and tells me I can change, she places a hand on my cheek and tells me this love is still alive; but I'm an unlovable wolf with red claws and teeth, knowing whosoever chooses to hold my heart will succumb to the innate darkness in me.” - Estarla Vagabond

“I'm not the kind of woman to be loved, I'm not the kind of woman to love. Isparlia reminds me of the days we chased each other through the woods as we tried to catch the butterflies in our stomachs with nets and jars; but I caught a roaring fire in my looking glass. She was beautiful, at first, looking at me with a longing desire, but her wings began to darken and her skin began to pale. Until all that was left in her once loving eyes was a burning hatred for the thing, the creature who made her the way she is. And still I pound my tiny fists against the glass, wondering when the cracks will begin to appear. But I'm just a butterfly who's wings were ragged and torn, who's transformation was not so beautiful.” - Estarla Vagabond

“My heart longs for Isparlia, it beats rapid in my chest and it tries to reach her with greedy claw tipped fingers; but I lock it back in my ribcage. I swallow the key. Because a love that hurts is no love worth having, and as I shuffle away from the crowd, eyes still locked on the one I love, I know my heart would kill her. Because this heart has teeth and it bites down on the hand that holds.” - Estarla Vagabond

“If you spend your days running from who you are you'll end up collapsing, tired, broken down, ready to throw the fight. But when you accept who you are, when you stop running from her, it's like all of a sudden everything falls into place and the curtains draw back to reveal a round of applause.” - Espekarla Killovitch

“We're all scared of change, because it hurts, it always does. But it's okay to hurt, it's okay to be broken down, so long as you rise up from that hurt somebody worth being. So long as you accept that heartbreak comes, but so does the healing. So does the acceptance after the change.” - Espekarla Killovitch

“I was just a princess running from her kingdom, tripping and stumbling through the witching hours of the night wondering why everything was so dark. But I found me at the end of the path standing strong and confident, tiara worn sturdy upon her head gown worn with an unkillable confidence. She was me, she was me, she was me, and as she pulled me into her embrace and I melted into the arms of who I was meant to be, it began to feel as if love is ever shifting, evolving to grow with those we love and those who love us in return.” - Espekarla Killovitch

“You see, people get themselves locked inside this little idea, this lie, rather. That they just ain't worth the trouble, that the strong survive and the weak die off one by one. But it ain't like that.” - Cody Scarrow

“Have you ever fought so hard for sumthin' you needed only ta find it were a mirage that faded away the moment you pressed the tips'a your fingers against it? Have you ever let hope settle down in your bones only for it ta stick a knife in your damn back? That's the thing about life, it's cruel ta the people who do good by it. But we love, we fight, we endure.” - Cody Scarrow

“We fought bloody knuckle and broken teeth, we ain't goin' this far only ta be cast back down. I am Cody fucking Scarrow, I don't back down from a fight and though I'm a lover, damn brother, you best fear this old dog's snarl.” - Cody Scarrow

“Tell me, oh powerful ones, can you hear our prayers, can you hear our screams? Tell me, when you see us at your gates, what protection will your throne offer? What safety will your crown give? When we're knocking on your door what advice will your fear whisper? What lies will your anger scream? When the oppressed rise up, tell me, what offer will your power give you? What mercy will life strip away?” - Cody Scarrow

“As I shuffled down the street, baggie of blessings and sins in my hoodie's pocket, I created a monster in me. It sits in the corners of my eyes and the edges of my smile, following me wherever I go. And it smells like cigarette smoke, feels like a broken bottle on my lip, looks like sugar on the edge of a credit card and "I'm sorries," spoken too late raining from the fucking sky.” - Estebad Vanem

“You know when there's a hole in your chest? When it feels like you've got nothing left? So you just shove whatever you can into that blackhole, thinking that'll satisfy you. But it never does. So you fill a needle up with your sorrow and inject it in your veins, or you fill a glass with your anger and try to swallow it down. But it burns and it burns and it burns until it riles up in your stomach and falls from off your tongue. I guess that's just life in all it's grand, fucked up irony.” - Estebad Vanem

“I tried everything I could to regain who I am. I kissed lips I didn't love and drank away nights I'll never remember. But I'm still this vessel of sorrow that murmurs and stumbles through the day, tossing and turning through the night. So let's throw a fucking party, right? Let's celebrate the scars and say thank you to the monster that swallowed me whole. That's what we preach, right? Thanking the pain and telling it that it helped you grow. So we romanticize the deaths of who we are and wonder why we feel so love blind and foolish; dancing with sirens who's tongues taste like blood in our mouths.” - Estebad Vanem

“Here's the thing about life, and love, and death, they're all bound to come. We can't avoid em, we can't run from em, cause they sit like memories on the wall that we just can't bare to scratch off. So we let em come, we accept that heartbreak comes, but so does love, so it's worth it in the end, ain't it?” - Ermello Vikaro

“You know, I still remember cutting away at long hair and rubbing all my makeup off as I stared in the mirror; wondering if I'd ever be me. Wondering if life was just another lie, and I was just a ghost haunting a poor girl's body with my sorrow. But all it took to bring me back to life was an accepting smile and a softly whispered, "It's okay, son, so am I." - Ermello Vikaro

“You know, as I look around me, I see all these accepting people. My basketball coach, my mother, all the nuns who wooped and cheered when I came back home limping, chest covered in bandages, and I come to realize that so much of who we are is dictated by the people we surround ourselves with. If we cover ourselves in fake smiles and people who don't got our best interests in mind, we're gonna be the ones used as a shield when the bullets rain down. But if we surround ourselves with people who love us, with people that we love, we might still end up the shield, but it'll be a choice of our own.” - Ermello Vikaro

“Everyone has something they cling onto, an old, threadbare stuffed bear, a locket with memories pressed into the metal. But I have power, and I hold onto it like a fine woman's heart.” - Epson Drogot

“You see, we all get a hand of cards when we're born, some people get jacks, other people get jokers and twos. But people like me were forgotten on the table and told to build an empire off of nothing. And so I worked, and I worked hard, and I broke my back for people who didn't care. Until I'd had enough. I found my power as I held life and death in my hands, all it would take was a little push. One little lie and all this pain would mean something. So I succumbed to the greatest show and let life slip so gently from my hands.” - Epson Drogot

“Welcome to the nightclub, my friend. Where the fools praise the sirens and the poor throw what little they have at silver tongues and misty eyed beauties. Dance, my friend, let the music contort your body and warp your soul as you close your eyes and lose yourself to the madness.” - Epson Drogot

“Life is a gamble, death is a chance, so dare you wager your life for extra years on the table? We're all going to die, it's simply a matter of when. So why not live a little wild, why not live a little free? Don't you want to feel alive, my friend? Take a chance on the pole and sway your sins back and forth until they feel like religion. Tap your feet against the blood slick floor and flaunt your misery until it feels like tranquility. Close your eyes and sing loud and clear about what hurts until it feels like a reason to celebrate. Because we're all damned here.” - Epson Drogot

“My heart whispers a single question forevermore, "Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?" But I shall be me nevermore.” - Envy Hellensfield

“I'm just a complex thread of emotions tumbling through chapped lips, knowing it isn't from my tongue I speak.” - Envy Hellensfield

“If this wicked science is to be the death of me, let it kill me. Let it well and truly kill me. Let me transcend past my existence and find peace in the end of life. Because there's no other way to give peace of mind to this heart that knows humanity all too well.” - Envy Hellensfield

“We can call this knowledge all we want, but we're hiding behind power's spine, ripping emotions from minds just to gift ourselves our dreams. But we're like the giving tree, giving away pieces of ourselves again and again to the boy who just keeps on coming back, shoving our emotions down his throat to create an antidote to all that he is. And when we stand naked, stripped and bare he'll come to learn that he will never rid himself of the vile curse of humanity. He'll always feel the stinging loss as our leaves fall at his tap dancing shoes, he'll always shed a tear as our bark is stripped away and we become no more than naked bones. And that's his curse. To live forever with the knowledge of what he's done.” - Envy Hellensfield

“I want to feel peace, and I have found that the only way to achieve my dream is to fall back into the black and let my soul roll gently back into death's open palm.” - Envy Hellensfield

“I've overstayed my welcome here, and this body is not my home.” - Envy Hellensfield

“My mother once told me that when your since of wonder is a little tired, and you find yourself broken down, to rely on the people who make you feel a little less lost. A little more valued. A little more like a person you wanna be.” - Emily Scarrow

“The darkness was the most comforting thing I'd ever known.” - Mark Mayweather

“I'm stuck sleeping in a stranger's skin, and all my words come out red; and truthfully, I don't think I've been me ever since I discovered secrets wriggling and writhing like worms in the dark.” - Mark Mayweather

“Everyone's got their dark side, right? Little things they think that they'd never do. Those little thoughts began to thread their way through my veins, carefully stitching themselves into my identity until they cut like spool through my fingers and pulled this merry little marionette through a stage of his own delusions.” - Mark Mayweather

“My mind's just another broken grenade that went off too soon.” - Mark Mayweather

“This darkness under my skin is all I have, why would I let it go when it's been so beautiful to me?” - Mark Mayweather

“My eyes roll back and I return to the place of my birth. The walls hold memories of pain like cigarette smoke, my cries and screams still bounce and echo off the ceiling. It seems the world looked at the monster it made with pity and shame until it learned to put down the dogs that bite.” - Mark Mayweather

“If I could pinpoint the exact moment I lost my mind, I fear I'd be staring at a full corkboard, polaroid's scattered across my desk, needles and pins everywhere a memory could go on the wall. - Mark Mayweather

“I sit at the stream, starin' inta the ripplin' eyes'a sorrow and betrayal, always askin' myself the same old question. "How could I've let this happen?" I were 'sposed ta be my brother's protector, but as I look inta his eyes all I can see are the mistakes I made and blood drippin' from a knife dug deep inta his memory. It's as if I shoved a blade inta my own back and called it salvation, givin' a feeble smile as I sputtered up black blood and promises.” - Bob Mayweather

“I ain't a good man, I ain't a good brother, cause I let him fall. I let his pain consume 'im when I could'a reached out a helpin' hand. But I was too damn busy with my own problems ta realize slowly but surely, he was fallin' off the edge; and my ignorance were the boot that struck down on his fingers.” - Bob Mayweather

“Ya know, life just seems ta be a single repeat'a the same mistake. I'm like old film, projected again and again, never changin', always flickerin'. And I just can't tell who I am. And so I take this old revolver from out it's holster and press a weary thumb 'gainst the hammer, knowin', as I aim it my way, that every bullet's got a name. And every one of em's my own.” - Bob Mayweather

“In times of pain, in times of sorrow, you have to be your own warrior, even if that means taking a step or two back so you can launch yourself forward.” - Daffy Estelle

“The mind is a liar, believing false truths fed to it through experiences that shape who we're not.” - Daffy Estelle

“Experience is not a reflection of who we are, but a steady scalpel, trimming and carving away at our shape until we look just like our pain, just like the things we've seen. But we can always build ourselves anew. We can always start again.” - Daffy Estelle

“I want to transcend past who I am, to find solace in the person I could be. But change is just another thing that brings about pain, and I don't have the courage to dive through these scars that make me a person I'm not.” - Emmi Grudges

“As the world began to fall, and I ran from my life, I knew I'd never be me again. I survived on bare bones and little scraps of who I'm not, until they became all that I am. And as I stumbled back to my father, bruised and bloodied on the inside, I stared at him with eyes I no longer recognized.” - Emmi Grudges

“I never dare fight this person I've become. She stands strong and confident because she drew first blood, and as I throw my feeble fists she just laughs; because she knows she won the battle.” - Emmi Grudges

“Some people are born monsters, some people want to be, but people like me were broken down like clay and sculpted into a horrible and ugly shape; baked, hardened and put on a shelf where forever we'll lie; with eyes that scream and tongues that bleed.” - Emmi Grudges

“My future found me in the eyes of my past.” - Emma Flockhart

“I was just another woman stumbling through life, wondering when her happily ever after would come. And truthfully, it didn't, because I'm still alive, I'm still here; and the ending's far from near.” - Emma Flockhart

 “I was just skin and bones until she gave me my heart back.” - Emma Flockhart

“In that town sat a wolf, dressed in blue, pellet teeth blasting through the air as he pumped that old shotgun of his and pulled the trigger. But I won't give him the power he wants. He's a man built off of lies that save him, so I have to wonder if my blade is the truth.” - Emma Flockhart

“Come one come all to the carnival of broken hearts. Here, we keep our eyes blind to reality and stitch thin lines of oddity through our lips to keep the truth silent. Do you want to be everything you've ever wanted to be? Do you want to become all you could be? Then this is the place for you, my friend. This carnival of rioting souls and hearts that don't know how to stay quiet.” - Elvin Jones

“Inside of my chest, a wonderland of horrors slowly started to fester, all that was red began to blacken, all that was kind began to die, and out from myself I rose; a beast gorging on the flesh of his greatest horrors.” - Elvin Jones

“I can't change. I won't change! I'm a serpent slithering through the veins of the weary, and I am no longer addicted to reality. I much prefer fantasy, my friend. So drink from the goblet and let insanity's red wine pour like death down your throat; staining your teeth like blood.” - Elvin Jones

“Oh rest in peace, Elvin Jones, rest in peace I say! There is nothing left of him, all but his devious little eyes and the twinkle in his smile that reeks of ill intentions hidden by dazzling fire lights and torch bugs twinkling with colors of festivity and madness. So I implore of you, weary friend, to shake the ring master's hand. And away I shall lead you to a Wonderland of beauties and horrors hidden by the rivers cold and deep, deep, dark. But what shall drown you first? Your expectations or your demons?” - Elvin Jones

“My heart spills like blood from my throat.” - Elmium Crueldow

“I've been waiting patiently in the shadows of who I am, but I fell from myself, clutching at pipe bombs and fucked up realties, knowing only one of us would make it out alive and it weren't me.” - Elmium Crueldow

“Trust is a knife and our blindness is the bones on which it sharpens it's steel.” - Elmium Crueldow

“I've been damned and forgotten by powerful people who get their fucking way, and when I die, ain't a soul gonna remember my name. Cause I'm just another unwell bastard traveling the halls of a cemetery, knowing each grave is marked with a name society forgot. You know what they do to people like us? They shove us in a cage and they call us hearts, locked away behind skeleton keys and a city of shadows.” - Elmium Crueldow

“Ain't no change gonna come, the sun rises on the same old people telling the same old lies, and the moon rises on the same old sinners, whispering the same old prayers. It's funny, huh, how he who proclaims himself saint is often a sinner, and he who claims himself a sinner's got a good heart in his chest? All be it marred by the shadows of other men. We lie to ourselves in an attempt to build who we are, but our tongues are scarred with all the truths we didn't speak, our history scarred by all the changes we never made.” - Elmium Crueldow

“I stand in a bad light, the only path ta follow the road unfamiliar, and as I walk, bones crunch 'neath my boots.” - Brayton Oakes

“Deep in the mountains I met a family'a devils, led by an iron fist and chains. And as the blood'a their kin were spilled, they came down on the heads'a justice, like red rain fallin' down on an angel's choir.” - Brayton Oakes

“It ain't never been heaven knockin' at my door, it were always grief, it were always greed, it were always my sins sittin' like shadows in my keys.” - Brayton Oakes

“How many times does God listen ta the same prayer before he answers? How many times does God forgive the man who don't change? And how many feathers does it take ta rebuild a pair'a broken wings?” - Brayton Oakes

“The only solace I got is Thomas. Sumthin' about 'im makes me want ta be better, but I hardly got the courage ta open up my heart. What a sin it'd be, ta stain his hands with blood as he holds my furious heart. How terrible it'd be, ta love a sinner and taste death and gunpowder on his lips. And so I let my heart sit in my ribs like a shadow that sticks and stays around. Cause ain't no one can love the sheep who grew claws, ain't no one gonna love the wolf who bleated sheep.” - Brayton Oakes

“As I stand in the dark, I begin ta fear the light would be blindin'.” - Brayton Oakes

“I was born in a coyote's maw, swinging back and forth like an outlaw from the gallows, and so I whispered, "If it kills me, so it kills me. Let me taste life, or give me death." And in a fur black coat and a burning cigar he came for me, and sank his yellow teeth into the life in me. And slowly, as if it had never been there at all, my humanity bled from me.” - Kylo Haverden

“Death has no age limit, he comes for the young, he comes for the old, and our souls roll back into his hands as he steadily threads us back into his robe. And it would seem one by one he's fixing his tatters. Stitch by soulful stitch.” - Kylo Haverden

“People look at the pup and laugh at his bare gums, and so they spare him, never thinking of the wolf he's meant to be.” - Kylo Haverden

“When given the chance, you should bow to this kingdom of wolves, because rebellion's a guarantee that you'll meet death in the eyes of Justice and his many snarling wolves. And wouldn't it be such a shame, to die when you could've lived? They say there's no greater glory than plummeting when you were supposed to be soaring, but does that apply to life and death?” - Kylo Haverden

“My father once told me the world would make me a weapon and tell me to find peace, and so with claws of steel and a voice of song, I seek to find the divergence between chaos and silence; knowing in the calm hum of the red river, peace can be found.” - Amira Von Sparrow

“I was just a fragile girl looking for her happily ever after, but this world turned my cowardice into bravery, my scars into strength, my sorrow into a reason to fight on. And so a wolf I became, of quiet midnight song and a hide laced with scars of yesterday that bleed into tomorrow.” - Amira Von Sparrow

“All I seek is peace, and when Cago says my name, it begins to feel as if it falls from off his tongue. In his smile, I begin to see another reason to fight. He's a fool, it's true, but he's a fighter, too. And when he speaks my name, he says it with a deep respect, as if he were a wolf turning his head to the moon and leading the pack to their howl. And in that chorus, our love is heard.” - Amira Von Sparrow

“In my head I face a war of emotions, knowing there's a monster in me that scratches at the corners of my eyes and the edge of my blade. And her name is survival. She tells me I'm starving, and so I must feast. She tells me I'm thirsty, so I must drink murder's red wine. She tells me it's kill or be killed, so I must pick up my blade once more. And it's her blood I bleed. That black wendigo's blood. But I am loyal to me, so with a blade in hand, I shall cut survival down and let who I was stain the white snow black until all that I was becomes a distant memory. Until who I am is peaceful. Until no longer am I a weapon.” - Amira Von Sparrow

“I was just another lonely woman drunk off the idea that she could forget if she just downed one more bottle, if she just smoked one more cigarette. I was dancing on drunken feet, stumbling town to town and bar to bar, until I met my fate, covered in gossamer, and silk, and all the things I'd come to love and cherish. But underneath that old table with flickering candles, and red wine, and strangers, sat a fuse, lit every so slowly by the lies we told. And as that man revealed the shades of our hearts one by one, I knew I'd never be the same. But Ickabod's brought about his own down fall, and from the names he's broken he'll be cast, clutching at all his lies as they float like un-answered prayers in the sky, fluttering ever away from him as he makes his final plummet.” - Demalla Peackock

“We all pick our poisons, they say, and Ickabod's chosen his. And it looks him in the eye every time he digs back into his memory. It coats his tongue every time he speaks our names.” - Demalla Peackock

“I look into the eyes of my father, and wonder where my hero went. Most people look at my father and call him just another cigarette smoke, whiskey filled bastard. But they never see the smile that used to creep onto his face when his daughters came home from school, they never saw the way he danced with his wife under pale lights, not knowing that his kids were on the top of the stairs finding peace in the fact that mom and dad were okay. I don't care what people say about him. I don't care if people think he's some bad man doing whatever benefits him most. He's my hero, and he always will be. Because past all that pain in his eyes, I can still see the black, scratched up leather shoes I'd step on when my father took me to the father daughter dance. I can still hear the way he cried when our first dog died. He's got a heart of gold... It's marred by hurt, is all. And he's blinded by the fog trouble brings along.” - Ellena Nixon

“The church bells ring for men like my father, the angels sound their trumpets, because redemption lives in the hearts of all men who have flaws.” - Ellena Nixon

“We can't let other people dictate who we bloody are. We can't let words sink deep inta our hearts where they quietly fester as lies that change the definition we tried to hard ta achieve.” - Elizabeth Lovell

“Danzell's a good man, full'a heart and joy for a world that demands he gives it his bloody all. And he does. And together as friends, we'll walk this path sturdy, payin' no mind ta the skeletons littered on the outskirts'a the dirt, but findin' beauty in the roses and knowin' even if one day, this road leads to death, that it was the one that was worth it in the end.” - Elizabeth Lovell

“You see, mankind have this funny little idea about redemption that it's only for he who's committed petty sins, not for he who's truly fallen away from himself. But redemption is freedom for all who seek it. Peace of mind is for all who truly want to grasp it. Dare not reignite the torch of Salem in search of retribution, dare not stir the falsely accused in their graves as you set about a witch hunt on the broken and cowering.” - Elijah Varkenmunn

“The mark of the foolish man is the same mistake twice, the mark of the brave man is the mistake made only once, and a new mistake made in the morning.” - Elijah Varkenmunn

“If we never erased the rough draft, we'd never have a novel, my friend.” - Elijah Varkenmunn

“It's almost strange, isn't it, how in search of change, we ourselves, change?” - Elijah Varkenmunn

“I cut away at strips of my human flesh, revealing the red fur underneath my humanity.” - Edward Shawcross

“I've always known there was a monster in me, teeth stained red, heart all but full. And so I wore my mask, my human mask, and I smiled with empty eyes. No one would've suspected the boy with a heart of gold to run deep into the forest with a bucket of paint and a brush, remnants of gold trailing behind him like blood, slathering his darkened heart in lies so come morning; everyone would believe that charming smile.” - Edward Shawcross

“It was in the presence of death that I felt the most alive.” - Edward Shawcross

“There's no greater pleasure, after all, then clipping an angel's wings and seeing how far he can fly.” - Edward Shawcross

“As I walk into the light, allow me to introduce myself. I fear you've already heard the story. I'm a reflection of every killer life ever coughed up, no different from Jack the Ripper or Countess Bathory. I'm a vessel through which murder can see, just as the Zodiac, just as Ted Bundy. And as you shake my hand, and a shiver runs like death down your spine, try your best to remember, I am not death. I've lived past it.” - Edward Shawcross

“Between my fingers, I hold strands of spool and thread, and carefully, I lace it through the spines of the poor, unfortunate and weary. And as I offer them a helping hand, know it is nothing more than another way to reach the strings on their back.” - Brian Ickabod

“There was once a time I knew a little decency, a little grace. I was but a boy looking for direction in a world that seemed so black and white. But I saw something that changed me. In the eyes of a criminal I saw a flickering fire, and it looked like the spark from a cigarette, like the gunpowder from a revolver. And as he ran into the night, telling me to stitch my mouth shut, I knew this world didn't operate off of mercy. It operated off of silence. Off of lies. And so I ran a thin line of fate through my lips, and I've been silent forevermore. In the grand scheme of things, life's just a game, and we're playing for extra years on the dot.” - Brian Ickabod

“I etch death onto paper with ink and quill, recording history as it happens.” - Brian Ickabod

“If you were to ask me my grandest sin, I'd tell you it's a rather simple one. It's not the lies I've told nor the secrets I've kept in the dark. Nor is it the blood on my hands or the way I pull the trigger and say a different man held the gun. It's that truthfully, I feel no remorse.” - Brian Ickabod

“I used to walk in a field of flowers and look for the weeds, suffocating everything good because I was convinced I didn't deserve it. All around me were people telling me I wasn't good enough, and there self doubt sat in my skull, feasting on my thoughts like a little monster that spoke from the tongue of my pain. But in the end, we all have our own monsters, it's our job to put them on a leash and learn to live alongside them. To tame them. Because often, the angel and devil on our shoulder is one in the same, only difference is one is the past, the other is the hopeful future.” - Adonna Silky

“As the sunlight hits my face and warmth trickles through my bones, I begin to understand what all those poets meant when they used the word beautiful.” - Adonna Silky

“I take a drag from this cigarette, watching the hallucinogenics drift with the smoke and curl into the rain. You know, I always said I was nobody's property, I always told myself I'd never kneel to someone who thought they had more worth than me. But as that man hit a fist against my cheek and let his hate envelop him, I began to feel as if to kneel was my only choice. He declared his power in booming voices and fists against the table, and I knew fighting back was a foolish choice. But as my son walked home, whiskey on his breath and anger in his eyes, I had an odd little feeling that death had visited my abode and marked it's name in broken bottles and shards of bone. Most people would damn my son, for killing that man. But after you've been under someone's shadow for so long, you don't mourn for them. You celebrate as you live past them. Because in some way, forgetting their name is the best revenge.” - Linnete Carlzburg

“I've been a sorrowed soul for most my days, cheeks dripping with liquor, breath dripping with smoke, but as I met a woman on the edge of chance and fell in love with the way her heart danced with mine, I began to feel as if I could finally be me. Manaya's a beautiful soul, and when her fingers intertwine with mine, I know home exists in her gentle kiss and the way I lose myself in all her curves and all her edges.” - Linnete Carlzburg

“I've been reading a grave with my name for decades, only to realize it was my sorrow's name after all.” - Linnete Carlzburg

“Once you're a dreamer, you're always a dreamer, no pain, no doubt, no end or beginning can change that.” - Lashonda Hoppers

“Hearts collide in the strangest of ways, but when two souls connect, there's nothing that can stop them from drifting closer.” - Lashonda Hoppers

“Don't give up who you are for people who never cared to understand you.” - Lashonda Hoppers

“You don't know true sorrow until you watch someone you love, someone you fucking looked up to fall from the heights of hubris and pain, not too unlike Icarus. She tells me again and again, "This is who I am, this is who I am, this is who I want to be," but I can see the cracks of pain behind her sinner's smile. I can see the tears in her eyes that begin to look like her own blood. She was my hero, but how can I possible look up to someone who kills and laughs all at once? How can I love someone like her? I want to hold on, I want to call her my sister, my family, but it begins to feel as if I'm just a fly caught in the spider's web, and it stares back at me with eyes I used to look up to, with a smile I used to love. I just don't think I'll ever understand why she fell the way she did, dragging a blade across the morning sky as she plummeted, turning the day into night and the light into shadows.” - Edin Falk

“I've become a whisper, where I once had been a defying shout against those who wanted to beat me down. But I'm just a whimpering dog now, looking to a wolf who used to be my guardian angel.” - Edin Falk

“I don't know who I'm supposed to be past all this betrayal, because there's a knife on my back and in my throat, and every time I speak my sister's name, it digs a little bit deeper.” - Edin Falk

“Every now and then I get to wondering who I am. And that is such a dangerous thing. It's as if there's a dead man in my heart, fingers curled around the trigger that killed him.” - Duke Benson

“All throughout me, a numbness begins to trickle. Like the cold in my bones, like a distant murder of crows on the stormy horizon. And I become this man of blank emotion, firing blanks out of his fucking chamber that feel all too much like himself.” - Duke Benson

“To a certain extant, I'm Duke Benson, but I lost myself on a rainy Sunday afternoon, and when the storm begins to brew I swear I can see that joyful man I used to be, falling like tears from the sky.” - Duke Benson

“I'm caught in an emotional dance, my memories sitting like tears in my eyes, gunpowder bleeding from my fucking chest. And as I twirl, fingers intertwined with the ghost of who I am, it becomes apparent that this mask I wear's a transparent, cracked little thing; and everyone can see the emotions I bloody hide. These guilty feet have no melody, no rhyme, no reason, they just tap against the battlefield of brittle bones I break.” - Duke Benson

“I step in a puddle of blood and fall deep into another man's veins, like a ghost lurking in his trigger.” - Duke Benson

“Being a Benson has always been such a sorrowed thing, for we're just the bloodline war followed like a hungry, loving dog. We've fed him full for generations, and his teeth are made of pieces of us.” - Duke Benson

“I've lived my life under a shadow, and she takes the shape of me. I could run my fingers over my shadow's skin and press my lips gentle against my shadow's scars, but she kisses her knuckles before they touch my cheek and as she runs her lips across my scars she bites down to the bone and leaves little nips and bruises where madness tends to fester. She has hungry eyes and a sharp tongue that feels like barbed wire in my mouth, and I am falling in love with the way I fall apart.” - Druvella Villenkaiser

“In the shadows of lust I met a devil, and he spoke in poetry that sounded of love. Of desire. Of peace. But he was just a wolf in man's clothing and where his lips trailed across my body, madness began to bruise.” - Druvella Villenkaiser

“I've made love to the worst parts of me and left the rest of me on an empty bed, wondering where her lover went.” - Druvella Villenkaiser

“It's not my blood I bleed, it's not my tears I cry. I'm just whiskey and liquor dripping from the corners of my eyes, knowing as I run my hands across the scars on my face that I'd hardly be me without this pain.” - Ruby Hallows

“These days I'm just a bullet in the West, a new name carved on me each day, stuck into another target by the time the sun sets in the West.” - Ruby Hallows

“I run my hands across damned names and cruelty in paper eyes, taking the sinner from off the boards and promising I'll watch him fall. I've pulled this trigger a thousand times and painted the sun set red with outlaw's blood more times than I can count. And that's the killing woman's curse. To watch another man go down, to dig another unmarked grave in the West.” - Ruby Hallows

“The West is home to many a sinner's bones. She swallows the sinner's and the saints alike in her maw of dirt and bone. She's the empty we greet upon the retribution of death and she's the pistol that brings a man to his knees. When I am to be laid down to rest, lay me down in a field of black roses and plant a white rose over my unmarked grave. So all who walk past my garden of Eden in the West may know despite all the darkness beating in my chest, my heart remained a pale white rose in a garden that had decayed so beautifully.” - Ruby Hallows

“I sit inside the belly of the beast with nuthin' more than a match ta guide my way ta it's downfall.” - Grettleburg Vila

“Don't make no sudden moves, don't make a sound, cause you gotta wait for that fuse ta be lit so your revolution can burst in colors'a shrapnel and heretics risin' up against the hangman's shadow.” - Grettleburg Vila

“I shall greet his funeral with a pale white rose and a heathen's knife washed in the blood'a the wolf in sheep's clothin'.” - Grettleburg Vila

“I've been a soldier all my life, and everywhere I went, corruption sat in the cracks. And it's the job'a men like me ta live in those little cracks'a corruption and push through their concrete like a determined little weed.” - Grettleburg Vila

“I stare at my reflection, and know that I fight another war'a self. I used ta run my hands through long hair and look inta mascara filled eyes and blushin' cheeks. But as I run these hands 'cross this old dog's reflection, my fingers begin ta run with blood.” - Myka Sandbright

“I can hear the silence comin', and damn, it hits me like a bullet and leaves me gaspin' for air.” - Myka Sandbright

“I hold my own name on the tip'a my tongue, my throat's become a prison for the words I speak, and small pieces'a me leave with my breath.” - Myka Sandbright

“My brother and I are just fadin' bullets fired from another man's chamber. We never choose our targets. We just burst through the air and land wherever we're fuckin' aimed.” - Myka Sandbright

“I've gone through a cycle'a broken reflections. I used ta hide from the mirror cause it din'it show me who I am, and then, I was able ta look at it once more as I slowly became me. But these days, I shift my eyes down, cause who would want ta look murder in the eye?” - Myka Sandbright

“It would be much crueler of me to live than it would be to die.” - Albus Kirk

“My father used to tell me I would build fortune for the weary, but all I've built was my own misfortune; everything else, I brought crashing down.” - Albus Kirk

“I'm just a husk of a man, transparent and ghostly as I drift through an afterlife too many claim reality.” - Albus Kirk

“For too long, the inside of my skull's been just another Pandora's box, wrapped in chains of thought, locked away by perception's key. But my memories begin to scratch at the inside of my skull, and it begins to feel as if there are many small monsters in me that go by the names of my emotions. Joy's beady eyes stare into me, Sorrow sharpens her teeth on the edge of my spine, Anger batters his knuckles against the inside of my chest. And as Greed comes on by, tap dancing shoes clicking against the red carpet, my emotions bow, whispering and passing around the name they've gifted my heart. And that is my battle, my devious, envious battle against me, myself and I.” - Albus Kirk

"I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, and that is my lie. My wicked lie that keeps me safe." - Graham Davidson

"I think I'm starting to surrender to the monster in me." - Stintley Hatchenvork

"Life ain't a fair game. You got cheaters and fools layin' cards on the table while the good hearted folk are left ta wonder why they're losin' the war. But it's simple, really. The only way ta get ahead is ta lie bout who you are and put a few cards up your sleeve." - Ferdinand Simmerfritz

"The monsters in this world don't hide under the bed, they don't sit in the corners of our closets with claws that look like knives; they shake our hands with human fingers and flash us a smile full of pearly white teeth." - Marv Arrowpierce

"Rage only lasts so long in the watchful eye of cruelty. It'll sputter and fade, and what you'll be left with is an emptiness; much like looking up at the empty midnight sky. And it'll kill you." - Bernard Whittle

"I know the way fate unravels; that is enough." - Bernard Whittle

"I don't think you understand the sheer magnitude of this grave you've dug." - Bernard Whittle

"You know how it is; you fall once and you just don't rise." - Derrick Vibeck

"Again and again, I crawl back to the life I said I wouldn't live in, because the past is the only place I feel warm. My sanctuary sits in a place I no longer reside, as if I walked a long and winding road only to turn back and not recognize the ghost town I came from." - Emory Hatchenvork

"In the silence you can begin ta hear little secrets appear, like willow wisps leadin' the way through the blindin' fog." - Alec Snow

"I feel like I would hardly recognize me in the crowd." - Eugene Arrowpierce

"That poor bastard's just a starving dog on a chain, scarfing up bits of his own tail and survivin' off'a pools'a his own blood." - Messiah Romez

"Life, and death, and everything in-between lives inside that man's heart." - Katter Goldnelius

"If my life is to end, I want it to end with no glory. I've chased it long enough." - Kai Gruval

"Only thing I fear is man. And you ain't that, son." - Kai Gruval

"After all, you wear a thousand different faces ta appease the public, who's ta know what of ya's real and what of ya's just spool and thread?" - Rory Sinvater

"You see that there? The way you grit your teeth and tighten your grip on your protection? I've made you angry, haven't I? You see. Power over someone's an easy thing ta gain, All you gotta do is give em a reason ta get mad, and I mean real mad, sweetheart. You've already controlled a part of em. Anger's just fear hidin' behind it's prayers, Miss Butchermay. I already got what I wanted. Tell me, who has more power? The man in cuffs who sends a shiver down the spine of the wolf, or the wolf who has ta put a sheep in chains?" - Rory Sinvater

"You like them horror movies righ? Well, the thing about real life, is, there ain't no music queue, there ain't no final girl, ain't no last hurrah. The heroes fight, the heroes die, the survivors go on, but they don't fuckin' live." - Clive Nixon

"Word'a advice? Don't never try ta be a hero. It saves others, but God damn, it kills you." - Clive Nixon

"Have you ever heard the tale of Jörmungandr? It was said, that he was able to bite down on the end of his own tail, and in turn; swallowed himself whole. He's not too unlike sanity. It wraps itself around your mind like a twisting Midgard serpent and bites down on it's own tail, consuming, and consuming, and consuming, until there is nothing left in the skull but the faint whispering ghost of what was, but never will be again. My friend, I am your Jörmungandr." - Rolf Lambs

That night we learned there ain't no God to judge the wolves of their own sin." - Sampson O'Connel

"He never faced the consequences, but we did." - Sampson O'Connel

[peacekeeperangel]

Flamethrower Part 7

UUUUGH Sorry guys. Flagging inspiration is a demon. But Hey I’m back right? I’m afraid my gung-ho for this fic is slowly dying out and really it’s mostly me being stubborn and wanting to finish the project I started that’s keeping me going. Any support will be fabulous but I don’t blame if y’all abandon ship at my turnout rate in the future.(low turtle is slooooow) Summary: Not much is known about Sans the Skeleton. He owns a bar in Snowdin. He has a younger brother Named Papyrus. And recently something’s been raiding his trash for food. Reversing the Roles of the Baby Blaster AU originally created by @spacegate

Part 7 of (?) Notice: this Piece is mostly self-edited and may contain typos, grammar errors and run on sentences. if you spot a mistake, please report kindly

A piercing buzz startled Orange awake, causing his flames to flicker wildly before he could regulate his breathing into something resembling normal. Not for the last time he wished he wasn’t such a heavy sleeper but he doubted it would help, especially if White considered doing something other than playing a loud noise at random intervals.

“All agents, assemble in Main Room in ten minutes.” White’s voice came through the hidden speakers with such intensity that made it sound like the monster was in the room with the tiny fire elemental. Of course he wasn’t though, the room was only large enough for Orange in his “Feline” form as White called it, and even then he had to crawl along on his belly to get through the small iron door that vanished into the wall when it was open.

“About time runt.” Blue was already there, the brawny older flame standing in a corner looking fairly broody and mean-spirited as usual. “Was sure you’d get us inta trouble with White again.”

There were others in the room besides the Blue flame, at least four other flames, like them, all different colours and all striving very hard to ignore the obvious confrontation between the youngest of their number and the strongest.

Orange did his best to be as non-confrontational as he could be, hunching up into a ball and keeping his eyes averted from Blue’s angry gaze. “I dun even know why White puts up with you anyway, he should have ground you down for EXP months ago-”

“That’s enough Blue!” a bright yellow flame, almost as big as the burly bully stepped between Orange and Blue.

“Out of my way Yellow! I’m going to raise my LOVE like White wants us to do!” “Not at the expense of our own!” Yellow snarled back, his “mouth” exposed, fangs of yellow flame bared at his peer. “We need to look out for each other, remember?”

“That was before-” Blue was cut off as the large door slid open and in stepped White, his skinny frame ramrod-straight, white lights ghosting along the youngsters as they rushed to form neat rows in bipedal form, as they had long ago been instructed to do. “Very good. All present and accounted for.” White stated to no one in particular as he peered from one child to the other, marking something down on a notepad he carried with him. “the rate of your progression for EXP is down overall.”

Orange flinched as he glanced at the others out of the corner of his eye.  Red looked defeated, Indigo was obviously terrified, Green and Violet were holding back lava-like tears while they reached out to each other desperately for comfort but unable to break White’s rules for “attention” which mostly consisted of staying very still and looking at him while he talked. Blue and Yellow were probably the worst off with the former looking murderously angry as one hand dug into his arm while Yellow looked...empty.

“While this was expected, considering you’ve been grinding out EXP from specially-bred surface animals, you’ve plateaued far sooner than I’ve expected.” it sounded like what White was saying was something positive, the gleam in his eye was unmistakably angry. “I shall be altering your training program to compensate for this failure in growth.”  he pointed a long narrow finger at Orange.

No no no nononono... a welling terror sent him breaking formation, he didn’t know where he could run but anything was better than what White was going to do.

DING! Orange felt his bare feet lift off the floor. “Come with me Orange.” White commanded as he hoisted Grillby in his powerful magic.

“No! Please I don’t wanna!” Grillby thrashed, his flames spouting off like minature solar flares. “Help me Yellow! I don’t wanna burn anymore!” But Yellow wasn’t there. None of them were, just Six piles of Ashy soot in a rapidly darkening room until Grillby couldn’t see them anymore. “Enough of this ridiculous behaviour Orange.” White scolded pulling him further into the dark. “You are a fire elemental, burning is how you exist in this world.” a dim orange cut a door out of the void, “It’s time you used that existence to actually benefit Monsterkind for once.”

White reached out and opened the door. “Now go out there and grind out some EXP.” he proclaimed before throwing Grillby into the writhing, screaming maw of hell.

“I gotcha kid.”

Grillby jolted awake in time to watch a glob of half-melted metal get thrown out the open window in a field of blue magic. The heat of the room was so intense that Grillby was barely able to feel the familiar chill of Snowdin’s “Night” cycle. He was amazed that Sans was able to remain so composed in the intense heat.

“Feel like talking about it?” Sans asked, closing the window. Somehow the short skeleton always knew when Grillby was having nightmares. He never said anything about the nightmares, only asked if the flame elemental wanted to talk about it.

He never wanted to talk about it. “No...” Grillby mumbled. “Want me to stay?”  Sans asked pulling a new Fire Talisman from a pocket, hanging it once more from a small nail on the wall. Once Sans had sat down and explained the purpose of the little metal plates Grillby had felt utterly relieved to have them. Actually he had wanted to put up more than one but Sans told him that they had to make them last, since they were difficult to make.

“...” Grillby hugged his pillow and tried very hard to avoid Sans’ gaze. This was the third time tonight he had melted a talisman.

“Just let me know kid. I’ll be right outside.”  

______

“Sans this cannae go on!” Caedmon barked.

“Says the monster with the highest Home-repair bill in Waterfall.” Sans yawned as he poured himself something strong from the bar into a shot glass. “How’s Undyne’s cooking lessons by the way?”

“That’s different and ye know it ye bony bugger!” Caedmon growled from his stool at the bar. “You’re barely getting enough rest standin’ sentry and the Boy’s managing to blow out nearly half a dozen talismans a night. Ye need to do something!” “I am doing something.” Sans replied before throwing the glass back and downing the beverage in one solid gulp. “I’m making sure the kid’s safe and getting a full night’s sleep without worrying that the Fire Elemental’s version of wetting the bed doesn’t burn the house down.”

“The kid still won’t say what’s givin’ him terrors is he?” “Nope. And I know he’s uncomfortable sleeping on the bed.” Sans sighed, “Or maybe he’s just uncomfortable sleeping with me there but it’s way too risky in case a talisman blows out.”

“Can’t ye ‘read’ him like all yer other clientele?” Caedmon asked dryly.

“I’m not freaking telepathic Ironbutt.” Sans replied dryly, “My shtick is just good observation and really good intuition.”

“Really now? Just that?” Caedmon leaned forward. “Okay then can you gue-”

Before the living armour could finish his sentence Sans had a shot glass full of the same liquid he had just drank himself. 

“It’s harder with some but....”  Sans grin grew to Cheshire levels without moving an inch.

“Oh shush.” Caedmon said with disgust. ______

“What do you want to do today Grillby?” the elemental stared at Papyrus like he was cracked. “I...don’t understand?” Since he had recovered enough from his illness to get out of bed, Papyrus had dedicated himself to the care of their new housemate with all the gusto he put into pretty much anything he did. Papyrus was to be a great hero after all! You couldn’t be a great anything without putting everything into it! The only problem was that Grillby appeared to be just about uncomfortable with everything. Sans suggested that something had happened to Grillby that was so terrible that it made the little elemental frightened of the world- Which meant it was up to Papyrus to show Grillby that the world was wonderful! “Come now Grillby!” Papyrus crowed, pointing at Grillby. “There must be something you like to do, that makes you feel happy?” the little elemental shrunk back and looked away from the finger. “Y-y’ello hided with me a lot. That was nice.” “Nyeh?” this was new information. “Who is this Yello monster?” Papyrus asked curiously, turning his head to look Grillby in the eye. The elemental only responded by squeezing his eyes shut, looking more like a tiny pillar with clothes on a kitchen chair instead of s child. It was clear that this was one of those things Sans told him about. A bad thing that Grillby wouldn’t want to talk about. Fair enough, Papyrus concluded. He would simply have to work with the information given. “So you enjoy hiding then? Well I don’t know if there are very many places to hide in this house...” he looked around. “But let it never be said that the Great Hero Papyrus let a challenge best him!” and before Grillby could ask the skeleton dashed out of the kitchen with a cackle of glee. Grillby carefully slipped off the chair to follow Papyrus only for the Skeleton to burst into the room with a handful of small objects. “While the Great Hero Papyrus is constructing your fun for today, he thought that you might enjoy the use of his Battle Strategy models. Feel free to call on the Great Hero should you need him for anything!” the teenage skeleton unceremoniously dumped the items onto the table before once more dashing into the living room.

The items were, in fact little male and female monsters, mostly dressed in fancy armour and holding fancy weapons. Most appeared like animals, others appeared to look like random items. There was even a turtle-monster that reminded Grillby of the old Turtle that had visited them awhile ago.

Then at the bottom of the pile, he spotted it. A bright yellow doll shaped like Grillby in green armour, grinning fearlessly, their mouth fully exposed to the world.

Grillby stared....

“You have to Orange...” he gasped, lava leaking from blackened wounds as he held the sword to his chest. Grillby dropped the doll, kicking at it and sending it skittering across the kitchen floor. Gasping and panting he held out his hands, watching as tiny licks of flame expelled off his body, the heat of the room rising.

No No nononono... he tried to calm down, to get his fire to calm, but nothing was working! He was going to burn down the house and kill everyone and then White would be mad at him and-

“Here you are.” A fire talisman was pressed into Grillby’s hands and with it a force seemed to press his flames down until they were back to their normal consistency. “Feel better now?” Papyrus asked kneeling to look the elemental straight in the face.

The tears began to well up into Grillby’s solid white eyes. “Sorry...” he murmured fiddling with the little metal disk in his hands. “Do you need anything else?” Papyrus asked, his voice surprisingly soft. “It’s okay to tell me, It’s a Great Hero’s job to help people in distress!” Grillby blinked and wiped at his face. “... Wuz a Hee-row?” He mumbled. “Want me to show you?” Papyrus asked holding out a hand. ____

“I’m home.” Sans called out... to find Papyrus sitting cross-legged on the couch with a large pile of comic books stacked next to him. “Hello brother!” Papyrus called out cheerfully. “Grillby asked an important question, so I have been reading him all the finest quality examples of Heroism I have collected from the Trash!” Sans quirked a brow. “Izzat so? Where is the little dude?” Papyrus tilted his head. “Grillby? Please ring once if you would like Sans to know where you are, twice if you do not.” Ding

before Sans could ask, Papyrus hopped off the sofa and motioned quietly to Sans before moving towards the back of the sofa. Sans followed his brother’s silent instructions only noticing the throw blanket that had been ever-so carefully poised to make a little tent in-behind the sofa, under that tent was a nest of blankets and pillows scoured from every inch of the house with currently housed a ball of fiery fuzz curled around a small silver call bell. “The Great Hero Papyrus has been training his new sidekick on the important lore of Heroism!” Papyrus declared primly. “Grillby and I have been going over lore while he makes his secret hideout extra comfy!” Grillby in his feline form peeked over a pillow to look up at the elder skeleton. Sans grinned. Once again Papyrus to the rescue, it was obvious that Grillby was the most relaxed he had ever been since entering the house. “I’ll have to commission you Papyrus. It looks super comfortable in there. I might need one.” “It’s for Heroes only Sans! Nyeh heh heh!” despite his protest Papyrus chuckled in pride.

“Riiight. I bet there’s a few around the house I don’t know about too?” “Well there was going to be more...” Papyrus replied sheepishly, “But good Heroes need lots of rest to be at their best when they are needed!”

“Well no rush, You’ll be only one ring away it seems!” Papyrus groaned.

It was later that night that Sans personally added the curtains and extra blankets and pillows to Grillby’s bed. The little elemental managed to sleep fairly soundly... But Sans had to telekinetically pull a Fire-tailsman from it’s hook on the wall to keep the cherry-red metal from scorching the drywall. “Baby steps.” he murmured over the hiss of the melting snow on the windowsill.

[dstickman-blog]

Interlude 1 - pt.3

DM: Nuria from where you’re at, you watch Jameson Hit the Dirt and Ab bend over him in panic. You can’t hear anything anyone saying from where you are at.

Nuria Quil: “James!”

Abather Crowley: I have seen death, as a hunter. I take the life of an animal so I may extend my own; makes a right good feast it does. I’ve seen the death of loved ones. My Grandfather, on his deathbed, and… Elaine, the day of the storm. But this…. This is Sudden, like Elaine- Before me, like my grandfather…. Unforgiving, like death. It’s a lot to take in, seeing death in this way for the first time. I’m unable to speak, unable to think. Compounded on the stress of seeing magic, a witch, and…. Perhaps being caught up in it myself, this is just too much for me, all at once. And so I cried out, doing the only thing I could do to try and process this.

This is witch’s work. But not her work. Does it matter? She uses the very same power as whoever- whatever caused this. Qalda, shine on me, get me outta this mess…

Nuria Quil: My face slacks, eyes growing horrified. “No no no no no no, please no. He isn’t dead, he can’t be. Abather please, tell me he isn’t dead.”

DM: Jameson is alive, but very unconscious. Chivay seems to see it too, and kneels to lift Jameson’s head.

Nuria Quil: Sighing, my composure returns, as I kneel beside James. “He’s okay, thank the lady mother, he’s okay. What happened?”

DM: Chivay shakes his head. He tries to pull back Jameson’s eyelids to take a peek into them. “Dunno. He seemed confused about the time of day and then he just… dropped.”

Nuria Quil: “All of the miners think it’s only been about ten minutes since you got to town. It’s not just him, there’s witchcraft here… There is something loose in Colley Hill.”

Abather Crowley: Uppon learning Jameson is alive I stop screaming, but I’m still upset at everything happening around me. I simply hold my head in my hands, and take deep breaths. You see? Witchcraft. And you’re just going to sit back and let it happen?

Nuria Quil: “Mr. Chivay, do you have any pillows, or something to prop up his head in your cart?”

DM: Chivay seems to lost track of the conversation somewhere around the word ‘witchcraft.’ “I, uh… wha…”

Nuria Quil: “Mr. Chivay, are you alright?”

DM: He backs away from Jameson, looking down at his hands. “I… I shouldn’t have touched him. I didn’t know he was cursed!”

Nuria Quil: “Please calm down Mr. Chivay. Getting worked up will only make this worse. We need to find out how did this to him, and then find them.”

DM: His eyes dart to you. “I don’t know. I just saw him for a moment! Second time I seen him in my life…” On the ground, Jameson stirs. He moans, and starts to roll onto his side.

Nuria Quil: “Seen who Mr. Chivay?”

DM: He points down to Jameson.

Nuria Quil: “Ah, I was hoping you were talking about our witch…”

DM: His face turns wary. “There’s no witch,” he says. “You’re just… just confused. That’s all.” He seems to slowly be convincing himself. “Yes, maybe you all caught a sickness down in that mine. Seeing things, or feverish. I have some things in my cart what could help with that…”

Nuria Quil: “I think you’re probably right Mr. Chivay, Abather and I did inhale something down there… Why don’t you go get some of that medicine from your cart, see if any of those prove effective.”

DM: Chivay nods emphatically and scrambles away.

Nuria Quil: Once he walks away i’m going to push as much of the power of Quoth I have in me into Jameson.

Abather Crowley: That’s right, a fever! Me and Nuria inhaled those spores! This… It’s all just a trick, surely. I have nothing to fear…

DM: Describe what this spell looks like for anyone watching.

Nuria Quil: Light seems to cowl around Nuria, slowly drifting to her hands until it disappears and a light appears within James’ chest. His wounds and bruises from a hard miners life slowly fade and seal as the light subsides.

DM: His body relaxes and his eyes flutter open. “What…”

Nuria Quil: “Hey buddy, you alright?”

DM: “I think so… oh. My head…” Jameson sits upright.

Nuria Quil: “You seem to have found what we’re looking for… Rather, it found you.”

Abather Crowley: Did she just?…. Heal him?…. With magic?… But- but Magic is just… A tool of destruction! A brush for mages to paint chaos upon the world! And yet, it can revitalize a man?

DM: “Cleric Quill… and…” he turns to Abather, and his face turns ashen. “You!” He points. “You’re the one who came out of the mine! You were… you went into our heads. I remember…” He winces and drops his head to his hands woozily.

Abather Crowley: My eyes widen, head rising out of my hands in some urgency. “Inta your-… No! That’s- That ain’t it! It’s… Impossible!…. It has to be…! Are you?…. Accusing me'a…. W-witchcraft?….!”

DM: His face hardens. “I saw what you did. I bet everyone else will remember too, when we crack through whatever you put on them.”

Nuria Quil: “I’ve been right next to him the whole time James. Are you sure?”

Abather Crowley: I slowly stand, shaking my head vigorously to shake horrid thoughts of what they do to those accused of witchcraft. “I ain’t no witch! I’m…. I’m Abather Crowley. jus’ a simple farmer from Riverview! Nothin’ more, nothin’ less!…..” My face hardens a bit, gaining a semblence of composure, as I reassure who I am to myself. “I- I ain’t gonna sit here'n let ya call me a Witch. I dunno what happen'ta you, or me, or Miss Quil, but… If there’s Witchcraft goin’ on somewhere, I ain’t gonna be a part of it. Where’s Mr. Chivay? He can vouch fer me. And if he can’t, by Qalda, let 'er light burn me now.”

Nuria Quil: “James, close your eyes. What does the man look like? Don’t look at Ab when you describe him.”

DM: Jameson takes a breath. “Brown hair, freckles. Leather jacket. Scarf. Human…” He opens his eyes. “It was you. You said… you said…”

Nuria Quil: “James… I just don’t think I can believe that, he was right next to me the entire time. As much as I want to believe you… Well, the mage has already messed with your memory once, it’s possible that it could be done again. It’s going to be difficult to figure this out, all of the miners have been effected.”

DM: “I know who messed with our memories. He did. And probably yours, Cleric.” Jameson stands up. His hands clench into fists.

Abather Crowley: “And who’s ta say y'ain’t raving like a madman!? Witchcraft can do lots, Mr. Jameson! Who’s ta say I ain’t bein’ framed!? Go on, prove I did it! Unless y'wanna leave that ta the Gods, Qalda shine on me!” My own hands begin to clench, getting scared, confused, and fed up with this situation. “Go on then! Give me yer proof! Without it, yer as good as a man drowned in his own mug!”

Nuria Quil: “Both of you stop! Just stop! I will not having in-fighting in this village! We can work this out. Let’s say Abather isn’t for sure the witch, but could be. We’ll keep a very close eye on him. Next we need to ask everyone in town and see who has and hasn’t been effected. Agreed?”

Abather Crowley: Put me in shackles next, why don’t you? Take my crossbow? “No issue, Miss Cleric. I jus’ wanna get this over with….”

Nuria Quil: “I really, really, want to believe that you aren’t a witch. You just seem like such a nice guy from a somewhere beyond us. I trust James, and if he says he saw you… He saw you. I hope that he just saw someone that made themself look like you, that would clear this all up.”

Abather Crowley: Accusing ME, you hypocrite!? Let’s not forget which one of us used magic, no doubt. “Do what ya gotta do… I’m a foreigner, I know. This all started when I got in ta town, after all. I’d be suspicious too. I don’t blame ya…. But I ain’t no witch, no way.”

Nuria Quil: “I believe you, you were in the mines with me. We just need proof.”

DM: Jameson seems hesitant, but then he nods. He eyes Abather suspiciously but doesn’t say anything. As you all are settling down, Chivay returns. “Oh. He’s up. Is he… you know…”

Abather Crowley: Upon seeing Mr. Chivay, I begin to feel a little bit of hope. Maybe he can get me out of this? He’s smarter'n me, at least. “Mr. Chivay! I need yer help. These fine folk are slanderin’ me, calling me things I ain’t. Now I gotta clear my name. Y'can attest I ain’t nothin’ more than a farmer from Riverview, yeah? Just a simple fella.”

DM: Chivay nods. “Of course, he’s a fine shot with that crossbow, but not a bad man in the slightest. A bit too soft, even, if anything.” Jameson doesn’t seem convinced, but he lets it go.

Abather Crowley: My shoulders slack in relief. “Thank you, Mr. Chivay… It’s… Comforting ta know I have at least one person on my side.”

DM: “What’s even going on here?”

Nuria Quil: “We don’t know.”

DM: Jameson rubs his head, then addresses Nuria. It looks like he’s trying to pretend that Chivay and Abather aren’t even here. “Cleric, I should go check on the miners. If they were also afflicted…”

Nuria Quil: “I asked earlier. They all have been.”

DM: “Can we fix them? Perhaps a little more…gently than I was?”

Nuria Quil: “I don’t know how this works, I’m open to ideas!”

DM: “Just getting them free of it as soon as possible…” Jameson shudders. “It makes you wonder… maybe the things we think we know, or think we remember…”

Nuria Quil: “Should we try and do it in one go? Just a big assembly all at once, or do it one by one?”

DM: “I don’t know.”

Nuria Quil: “Ab?”

Abather Crowley: “I uhh… I dunno how ta handle this, Miss. I ain’t sure what'cha did to put sense into Jameson. Maybe y'can just point out the inconsistencies in everyone’s claims at once, in a crowd? Break it down, step by step. I’ll sit by wherever y'want me to, if ya feel suspicious of me.”

Nuria Quil: “Right, uhh. How do you suppose that?”

Abather Crowley: “Simple. Jus’ gather all the folk in one place again. Ya could use Mr. Chivay somehow ta do that, maybe. Or y'can call everyone together on the basis of an emergency. You’re the Local Cleric, so they should listen t'you. I know most everyone in Riverview listens ta old Tom, our local Friar. Y'got the authority, I’d imagine, Miss.”

Nuria Quil: “Well, I meant how do we 'cure’ them all together? Gathering them won’t be too hard, but we had to.fight with James to get him to wake up.”

DM: Jameson takes a breath. “It was hard, I admit… because I knew the things you were saying were true, but I… I remembered everything differently. I had to choose between trusting you and trusting my memory.” He makes a sign invoking Qoth, and says something in Elvish.

Abather Crowley: “Well, then we can maybe slowly work our way through the city?”

Nuria Quil: “I guess we’ll just have to see what happens as it happens. Let’s start from the mine and work outwards.”

DM: The three of you leave Chivay behind and head back to the mine, where people are stowing tools and taking inventory for the night.

DM: As you get near, another miner Nuria recognizes comes towards you. Nuria, care to describe them?

Nuria Quil: Alan is generally a dirty man. Sweat and grime from the mines coat his everyday life, and most days intrude to his dreams. While he does spend most of his time in the mines, he isn’t a miner. He is the brains of the operation. A prospector and architect, he keeps the mines moving. As well as stopping them from falling.

DM: “Hey there, Cleric. Weren’t expecting you back so quick. We are wrapping up in here. Probably gonna collapse that cursed section and follow the vein straight down to avoid it.”

Abather Crowley: I nearly open my mouth to protest, but decide against it, biting my tongue. What if they anger some sort of monster, if they do that? Release some sort of ancient power?- What am I thinking? No, forget about that. These things must remain burried.

Nuria Quil: “I think you better not. We need to take a closer look and make sure there’s nothing else going on in there. Don’t want any side effects from it…”

DM: He seems surprised. “You sure, miss? It seemed like you were in and out of there in a hurry the last time you went in.”

Nuria Quil: “Alan, can I trust you?”

DM: Alan glances at Abather. “Of course, ma'am. Is everything all right?”

Nuria Quil: “Absolutely not. When did we walk into that mine, Alan?”

DM: “About two hours into our day… maybe two bells before midday?”

Nuria Quil: “Sounds about right. How long were we in there?”

DM: “Just a few moments. Cleric are you… all right?”

Nuria Quil: “Just a little longer. So I went into the mine, came out shortly after, went to my house, and walked back. Then how is it already this late?”

Abather Crowley: “Some kinda odd predicament, for sure, Miss Cleric. Ain’t no way it wasn’t a few hours.” I assured to the miner, with a nod to my head.

DM: He opens his mouth, then closes it. He wrestles with a thought. “I suppose… huh. Wait.” He points to Abather and squints. “This guy came out earlier than you. But then… He came out again with you later. But I never saw him go back in there in between. I…. I know that don’t sound right but I remember it. I remember it both ways.”

Nuria Quil: “Thank you so much Alan, you just cleared something very important. Now we know it’s someone who looks like Ab, not someone who makes people think he was just anyone else. Ab I have a plan, that’s probably awful. How angry would you consider yourself right now?”

Abather Crowley: “If I weren’t a good ol’ fella and taught proper, I’d probably shoot someone.”

Nuria Quil: “Yeah, yeah. I did tell him to do it. I had an elaborate plan, which apparently hasn’t worked out. Basically just… Tell everyone that if they see him by himself to catch him. If he’s with me he’s fine. There’s a doppleganger out there.”

DM: A chill seems to run through the miners. The ones further away start exchanging looks and murmuring. The miner who approached Abather with the pick swallows. “Doppelgangers… doppelgangers ain’t real ma'am.”

Nuria Quil: “I cannot believe that I didn’t think of that. I think you may have just cracked the whole thing. You may have just saved the entire town.”

Abather Crowley: A doppleganger? Like that tale with the merchant?… Qalda, get me out of this town! “Umm, Miss Nuria? Did'ya figure something out?… How did he save the town?”

Nuria Quil: “We’ve been thinking about it wrong this whole time. We aren’t looking for a witch that made themselves look like you. We’re looking for something that IS you.”

Abather Crowley: “But… I’m right here?”

Nuria Quil: “Are you?”

Abather Crowley: I was going to open my mouth and debate with her, but this day has been crazy enough that I actually begin questioning it. “But if we’re lookin’ for me, and I’m right here, why we still looking?”

Nuria Quil: “The other you. Except we have a new problem now. The not you you could be anyone not being anyone. We’re going to find everyone and figure out who’s not who they are. Following me?”

Abather Crowley: I slowly nod, pretending I understand. Better to just do what she says. “I think so?… ”

DM: “Maybe it’s just me, but I am totally lost,” says one of the miners. The others murmur in agreement.

Nuria Quil: “That’s exactly what we want. So if we are confused then the thing that isn’t us is also confused because it’s us. Gather the entire town. We’re going to find this thing tonight and I know exactly how.”

DM: The miners furrow their brows. One says “Wot?”

Alan clears his throat. “We asked the Cleric to investigate that cursed space. Now she is asking something of us. Call a town meeting.” The miners disperse, many heading up for the town walls.

Abather Crowley: After some of the miners disperse enough, I try to pull Nuria away from the crowd, and whisper in a bit of a worried, slightly angered tone. “What are y'doing!? Aren’t we supposed to be clearing my name!? This seriously isn’t helping!”

Nuria Quil: “We’re on a tight schedule here. So listen up. The new plan is we get everyone in one place. Anyone who doesn’t come, we’ll know. If the creature thinks hiding in plain sight is the best option, I’m going to find them in the crowd. Now then, how confident are you with the launcher at your side?”

Abather Crowley: “More confident with the one on ma back, but I’d say I’m pretty good at both. Why, you want me t'shoot the guy?”

Nuria Quil: “Well then use the one on your back. What else do you think we’re gonna do to the guy? Give it some cookies and milk? Those cookies and milk are for us good God serving folk Ames.”

Abather Crowley: “Look, I ain’t shot no-body before, at least not on purpose. This is pretty new ta me, but… Can’t be too different than a boar, right?…”

Nuria Quil: “Except flip it 90 degrees, and take out 2 legs. Alright let’s go find you a vantage point.”

Abather Crowley: “How will I know it’s him? Y'gonna signal me somehow?..”

Nuria Quil: “Oh yeah, it’ll be like a torch.”

Abather Crowley: “Will you be holding it, or him, or?…”

Nuria Quil: “They will literally start glowing. You’re really killing my vibe.”

Abather Crowley: “Vibe? What are you-… Look, I’m sorry, I’m new to all this supernatural stuff, Y'know? And still not entirely accepting of it, but thats'a conversation fer later. Just help me clear my name. Please?”

Nuria Quil: “I will. Now we need to find you somewhere to shoot from, explain along the way.”

Abather Crowley: I resign myself to her madness, and simply follow Nuria.