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letyhide · 11 days ago

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I am NOT looking forward to that Sunkissed talk today.

Already heard him explain it to Pangi and was not impressed. His plan was to "give Zam a taste of (her) medicine by helping the enemy team" or something like that (he implied, like Zam had done with the Bacon wardens , and the Jumper hearts etc..). And it was a way to show her how its "bad" to play all sides... which.. urgh....

Zams whole thing is about Balance: He helped Bacon because, realistically Bacon was doing something for the server (by making it active again) and was gonna get banned by natural causes. So Zam decided she wanted to be a helping hand in making everything more fun, and make Bacon last just long enough for everyone to be satisfied in the arc. Bacon was alone in his effort, a clear underdog. When He found the materials chest, Bacon was only on 2. He needed the help or he could have easily gotten banned

(ik he said he would have probably gotten the materials himself, but like technically he could've died obtaining them, while afking a farm. Or something. Ending the arc randomly, casually. In an even less satisfying way, as Bacon put his banning as the "stop spawning wardens" condition)

Without Zams help, things would've played out differently. And its not like she wasn't out for Bacon's blood, she wanted to ban him almost more than anyone. She Just wanted to give more time for him to achieve his true goal of understanding Subz.

Again to Zam it's all about Balance and helping the server itself function, so when a low-hearts player has a cool idea, even tho they're your enemy, if they're in dire need: you help them, because nobody else will. It gives people a chance to log on the server, and do stuff, and be active enough to have those ideas and put them into fruition (and make the server intresting. A way to make things HAPPEN). It's such a noble and important cause for a content-oriented-server. That recently seems to be more pvp-oriented (or that's how the chunpire's ideals would seem to make it).

And I would like to say that there is NOTHING wrong with not understanding Zam's goals and her view on the server. Nobody is expected to, and realistically, it is more interesting for people to oppose her.

But what is odd, is having a player, seemingly piece together Zam was helping Bacon. Confront her about it, and sit there and pretend to have a complete understanding of it, and promise to always be by her side. Just to go ahead and do something behind her back, and then claim to be doing it for Zam's sake ????????? The only way you could see these situations as similar, is by viewing what Zam did with Bacon and Jumper, as "Betrayal" yourself, which would again prove that Derap did NOT understand Zam.

It's not a crime to betray, it's more annoying how Derap doesn’t see it as such, and thinks he's somehow in the right, and is gonna try and make Zam feel bad for it, by "apologising" for all the wrong things. But, again, he has already kinda revealed his true thoughts in part. "I didn't like that you gave Jumper hearts". which, again, makes Derap's way of thinking closer to Mapicc's than Zam. Then, why did he lie back then?

If he TRULY understood Zam, he could easily see how giving Bacon hearts and giving Chungpire are not that comparable. If the goal is Balance, helping a team which is already significantly stronger than yours, and has goals that are fundamentally opposite to them, is not really,,, the move, per say... Atlas was the underdog. The chumpire would have probably won every fight and confrontation even without the extra information.

It's almost like Derap pretended to understand her just to be by her side, while not listening or respecting her enough to ACTUALLY understand her motives. Which is something that has been happening her season between sunkissed. Derapchu pushing this relationship, repeating the same phrases of "I care about you most" "ill always be by your side" Sweet stuff, said in a vacuum. But when you listen to the way he talks to other people, you see that mask fall.

Will never forget him telling Zam over and over again how "nobody respected you for how much care you put into rebuilding spawn!". But when Bacon was the one rebuilding it, Derap would get in the call and ask the same damn questions Zam was always so tired of other people asking. "Why are you doing this Bacon? What's the point?" And even started saying stuff like "why even rebuild spawn the way it was before? Why not make new builds?". The same type of questions Zam has been asked time and time again. The same questions that someone who actually understands her Knows not to ask. Because in a way, that is exactly the kind of disrespect Zam was shown by other players. The behaviour Derap was condemning in front of Zam, but practicing on another Spawn-repairer.

And then he lied to Zam about Bacon choosing to not repair Zam's builds? and trying to claim he was completely alone in the warden efforts. Says it was a miscommunication error, but it was really convenient how it was used to push this idea of "it's just us two against the world" sentiment that he had been trying to convince Zam of all season huh....

((Then the Flame fights happened, and Derap called her "insane" and "crazy" for basically throwing herself at the enemy time and time again, and said that She was "stupid" for not asking for his help. yet on Evbo-day when Mane, Flame and Clown were chasing her. Derap made some sly comment of dismissal when asked if he wanted to help Zam at all. (something like responding "probably somewhere getting killed by flame idk" when asked where Zam was... or he said something about there being no point. i don't remember exaclty and i'm not bothered enough to go check, sorry). But then seemed so proud of her after. convienent))

And let's not forget the whole “forgetting to tell her he had been using exploited items (prot-4 armour) for months” ordeal. Something Zam has been deeply against for YEARS. saying "no more secrets" but being caught in another lie again and again, and saying "he forgot" to tell her that one small detail... but it happened like 3 times in a row. I already said it somewhere, but to me, that day is when Sunkissed should've ended as a teamup.

But back to the betrayal itself. From the way he put it, i got that, he didn’t agree with the way Zam thinks (despite telling her the whole season he did), and instead of communicating that, he was gonna go behind his back, to give the enemy team information, to “show her a lesson” on why playing all sides is bad. (again proving that He didn’t listen to or understand Zam at all, only pretended to).

It’s just so wild to me, because this is definitely targeted, he’s gonna say this was for “Zam’s greater good”, but you cannot tell me that this doesn’t come from bitterness. He didn’t like Zam giving hearts to Jumper at all. Then says “we need teammates Zam, sort things out with Mapicc”. But when the teammate who helps is ManePear, Derap isn’t happy (which.. Okay,, fair enough ig,, but how come Zam HAS to settle his differences with Mapicc, but he can’t with Mane?). When talking to Pangi Derap says “I would never work with Mapicc!” when that is exactly what he was trying to push Atlas into doing. Also, to add, he DID work with Mapicc When he GAVE HIM PANGI’S COORDS in secret, again when his goal was to teach “Pangi a lesson”, lying again.

And if we REALLY wanna compare this with the giving bacon hearts situation, there is ONE clear difference between those two situations. When Zam was confronted by Derap on whether or not she did it, Zam confessed everything. He was honest with Derapchu, explained his reasoning and everything, because he felt bad lying to him. But we know damn well Derapchu doesn’t feel bad lying to Zam, that’s all he’s been doing this season. When they were face to face, in that base, Zam asked again and again if Derapchu was betraying, and Derapchu goes “Are you crazy???? Are you insane? I would never work WITH MAPICC” now we know he was clearly latching onto a technicality, he wanted to work with Minute (who works with Mapicc, and told him everything), but he never misses a chance to make Zam feel lesser than for his paranoia, and talks down to her. Because he thinks he knows what’s best for her. During the Bacon confrontantion Derapchu insisted that he wasn't mad at Zam for the hearts themelves, but more of the fact that she didn't tell the team, which, when looking back, is pretty ironic. Because Zam in the end conefssed everything to him when confronted, Derap didn't.

Then when Zam tries to kill him anyway. Derapchu, after running away, has THE NERVE to message her “i forgive you” before logging out. A slap to the face. (im genuinely going to rip my hair out thinking back to that).

Derap says to Zam. “I forgive you” beucase, at that point, Zam didn't have enough proof of the betrayal yet to be 100% sure (the killing attempt was a test after all), so he wanted her to doubt herself, and make her think she was somehow at fault (because someone who needs to be forgiven has to have done something wrong,, right?) By sending that message Derap was targeting the fondness Zam had for him at one point. And trying to manipulate his way back into the team. During all of this Derap is betraying, but doesn't think he is. Insane stuff.

Then Woogie comes in after shouting “what the fuck did you do” making Zam feel guilty for everything, as if she was the one at fault, which lead to her throwing herself into the void (the guilt tripping worked). And then, later, she gets the proof straight from Mapicc’s mouth, and Here comes Derap saying “I’m sorry I lied to you” in messages. Only sorry when caught.

Genuinly so frustrating, but intresting... Derap pretends to understand Zam to her face, to keep her by his side, but his actions are fueled by bitterness of his misunderstanding of her. he is the one who put himself in the situation of "always being by Zam's side" when he doesn't even make an effort to properly understand her, and only repeats sweet nothings to gain her affection and trust.

Last thing. At the end of the Pangi talk, Derap says that his goal is to "save everyone", to have everyone unbanned. and, again, nice goal. awesome, you unbanned a bunch of people. okay, but that "everyone" seems to be a little distorted. With the screenshot he posted on twitter, it seems he unbanned everyone EXCEPT Flame, Mane (and Evbo). Just like he didn't like Zam giving hearts to Jumper. hypocrite. It's more "Help everyone who hasn't been mean to me" which, isn't a bad goal, you can have that as a goal, but don't try to hide yourself behind a noble cause when you're as selfish as the rest of the server. nothing wrong with that again, you need to own up to it.

but this again prooves that he his and Zam's goal never truly aligned.

#Zam said that in the past. if Flame and Mane were to be on 1 heart. she wouldn't wanna ban them #even before they kinda made up and helped eachother. i don't think she would intentionally keep them banned #selflessness until the end #and it's kinda intresting that in a way:#PrinceZam #notoruisly bad at communication #has been open with this goal and mindset for a while (especially to her team)#but it was Derapchu who instread of communicating his ideals directly #“wanted to show Zam a lesson”. again weird way to put it #for someone who said he had her best intrest in mind.#“everyone is so unfair to you PrinceZam” <- Derapchu #but then instead of talking to her #goes behind her back to help the enemy #odd behaviour #idk if i made it clear enough. the chungpire doesn't need extra info to win #so the betrayal was just the nail in the coffin that sealed Atlas's fate #no balance in that at all #it's like if Zam was like “to show you why exploits are bad. im gonna exploit even harder than ro and mapicc in my castle!” (s4)#like... no.... you're just doing what they did but worse.. because it's targeted...#whatever im done thinking about this #we'll see how the convo goes tonight #i'll try not to crash tf out #i kinda lost the plot maybe while rambling i feel like #forgive me #hope this is cohesive enough #derapchu #sunkissed #lifesteal spoilers #lifesteal

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b1mbodoll · 1 year ago

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im sO looking forward to seeing you write again!! something thats been stuck in my head lately is shotgunning w nicholas 🫠🫠 the thought of a friendly little smoking session turning into a heated make out is making me SICK 😵‍💫😵‍💫 need to hump his thigh until im crying out of frustration tbh 🫣🫣 no bc putting into words how badly i want this man would create a new sin in the bible ngl

<🫧3

pairings: nicholas wang x f! reader

warnings: drugs + dryhumping + dacryphilia

💌: ur brain is so yum, i’m sick!!! i love the thought of mean dom nicho so much 😞

okay but smoking for the first time with nicholas 😵‍💫 you’re a little clueless ‘nd coughs wrack your body, feeling embarrassed by how intently he’s watching you and shrinking under his gaze. but he’s not doing it to be mean, it’s because he’s mesmerized by the sight of your lips wrapped around the blunt and how pretty you look, eyes glossy and a dopey little smile on your face as the weed affects you. and yeah, he feels a little bad so he decides to help you out, definitely for your benefit and absolutely not because he wants to kiss you.

“c’mere, pretty girl,” he says, seating you on his lap, placing a knee between your thighs. “let me help you.”

nicho takes the blunt from you, ashing it before taking a hit and placing a hand on your cheek, tapping your bottom lip with his thumb as a sign to get you to open up for him. “be a good girl ‘n make sure to inhale for me sweetheart.” he states, voice low and raspy.

he takes a hit and your eyes widen as his face comes impossibly close, blowing the smoke into your open mouth while you do your best to inhale, squeezing his shoulders in an attempt to ground yourself.

he does it a couple more times, taking pleasure in how flustered you look and the needier you get, biting back a smirk when you subconsciously grind back and forth on his thigh, quiet moans like music to his ears when his jeans catch your clit just right.

you’re so gone n so needy, you can’t stop tears from welling up in your eyes, peering up at nicholas through wet lashes with a sweet little pout adorning your face. he wants to help you out but he’s enjoying the show, flexing his thigh at times just to hear you gasp n moan, so close to reaching your orgasm but ‘s just not enough, unwillingly edging yourself the more you rut against him.

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