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OSFTSB ~ Ch. 1 One Step At A Time

Standing in front of the foreboding building that felt like it was towering over Jungkook, he shifted from foot to foot. Tear streaks stained his cheeks and if he could hide behind his dark brown fringe he would. Sadly, he had just gotten a haircut three days ago and it hadn’t grown nearly enough to drop the curtain in front of his eyes and let Jungkook feel the comfort of not being able to see anyone and the thought that no one could see him. He had never felt so small, weak, unwanted, not loved, alone before. The way it spread through his veins like a slow acting poison  into his heart made him shift uncomfortably again.

He shouldn’t be here. He knew that. The person’s apartment he was standing in front of was one he hadn’t seen in three years. It had been too long for a casual drive by. He hadn’t come back from the army and decided to drop by and see his hyung. Jungkook was pretty sure he wasn’t even welcome to call him by such an intimate term. Sure, some people would toss the word hyung around quite loftily, once engaging with someone they knew they would see more than once but… Three years of radioactive silence. They weren’t friends, not even acquaintances anymore let alone brothers. Jungkook had fucked up then and he felt like he was about to fuck up now. Taking a hesitant step backwards, it was probably for the best that he just left. Turned away, walked away like he had allowed the other man to do years ago. Let? Hell, he didn’t have a choice or at least at the time it didn’t feel like a choice. They forcibly removed themselves from his life, taking all of their love, comfort, friendship, companionship, protection with them. It was a harsh blow, a sharp unexpected one but if he searched his hearts of hearts, Jungkook knew it was a well deserved one.

There was only so long you could use a person, even unintentionally because it became too much. To take and take and take without giving anything back. It was selfish. And here he stood, on the doorstep of the one he continously took from because another had harmed him; had taken from him a part of himself he wasn’t sure he’d be able to get back. It hurt. It fucking hurt; like a bear trap snapping its metal jaws and piercing the pathetic animal it had tricked and caught in its grasp.

Jungkook understood why his feet lead him here. He knew it was because he personally needed the one person who had never truly let him down. He needed the person that always had his best interests at heart, the person who he knew understood him, the person who actually loved him and always had loved him. Running his hand through his hair, Jungkook tugged on it in frustration and turned around. As much as he needed him, he didn’t deserve him. He didn’t deserve to be here after all he had put the other through. It didn’t matter that he had no idea anything was going on until after the fact, that actually made it worse. Jungkook didn’t deserve his comfort but his heart was shattered into pieces and even without Hoseok here right now, it still felt like he was stomping all over them.

The internal struggle had him standing in front of that person's apartment building for almost thirty minutes now. He couldn’t bring himself to leave, a few people had crossed his path on their way out, it was still pretty early in the evening. The odd glances and raised eyebrows Jungkook couldn’t even see.

“Be the better person.”

The words were muttered softly under his breath. He had to make the better choice. Jungkook knew that he couldn’t, absolutely could not walk in those doors, knock on his door and enter his life again if he wasn’t willing to go the full mile. If he wasn’t ready to live up to all of the others expectations. It would be so wrong of him to put him through that.

Again.

He couldn’t do that and as much as his heart was reaching out for the comfort he knew would embrace him so warmly and completely, soothe his soul and help him heal, Jungkook couldn’t, wouldn’t be selfish again.

“You deserve better.”

It had been three years, who even knew if he hadn’t moved on. Surely he had moved on by now. Those thoughts plagued his mind but Jungkook knew it was just a way to rationalize, to make it okay for him to knock on that door and take what he needed, just like how he always did without any thoughts prior.

Gazing up at the third floor, three windows from the center of the building, Jungkook sighed, pulling up his courage and turning around. He took the first step away from the building, away from him, being the person he should have been three years ago and putting his friend first.

One foot in front of the other, he kept moving. If he let just a moment of weakness cloud his mind, he would turn around and knock on that door. Jungkook really didn’t want to do that. He kept his bleeding heart to himself and pressed forward.

One step.

One step.

One more step.

Jungkook didn’t leave his apartment for the next three days. Partly because he was being lazy and partly because he didn’t think he could get very far without a tear or two escaping. He had always been a crybaby. When he was younger he cried in front of others. As he grew older Jungkook forced himself to hold it back but that didn’t mean he cried any less. No, he just did it more privately.

Receiving text messages from worried friends aka Kim Taehyung only made the man want to hide even more. He knew that Taehyung would be there for him but he didn’t want the pity, the sad glances when he thought Jungkook wasn’t looking. He just wanted to be alone, curl up into himself and wallow in the sorrow that was him not being enough for the man he had thought he was ready to tell he loved him. They had been dating for almost nine months and saying I love you had never been something he was good at but he felt ready. Or he did, until it was all smashed to smithereens with just a few words from his boyfriend. No, ex-boyfriend. Jung Hoseok was no longer his boyfriend. He apparently hadn’t been for awhile.

Lying on the couch in grey sweatpants, no shirt, his arm over his head with the television playing some type of sitcom that Jungkook was barely watching, he ignored the ping of his iphone. Taehyung never knew how to quit, but it was also the man’s perseverance that Jungkook admired. It took another ten minutes before he lazily reached out towards the coffee table, fingers scrabbling to reach his iphone. He managed to touch the corner but it was not quite enough. Rolling his body away from the couch and closer towards the table, Jungkook managed to pull it close enough to open the message without leaving this position.

Favorite hyung 11:36pm: Jungkook…

Favorite hyung 11:46pm: I saw you the other day.

As his eyes skimmed along the messages, his shock took over and he lost control in attempt to bring the phone closer, instead falling onto the floor with a heavy

“Oof!”

And his phone sliding off the table, smashing into his hip phone and onto the floor next to him. Damn, that hurt like a bitch. Hitting your bone with something so hard always seemed to hurt ten times worse than if you had hit a fleshy body part. Scrambling for his phone and propping himself up, Jungkook read the messages again. He hadn’t seen that name light up his phone in over three years, yet he could never delete his hyung’s number and apparently neither could his hyung.

The sting behind his eyes began and he wanted to cry all over again. The feelings he had when he first realized where his feet had led him rose up once more but with more intensity. He wanted so badly to get off this couch and just go see him. So much so that he didn’t even notice he had thrown on a shirt and was looking for his second sock until Jungkook’s mind finally caught up with his body. Staring down at the red sock in his hand he sighed.

“What the hell are you doing Jeon Jungkook?” he muttered, tossing his sock to his floor and shaking his head before shuffling into his bathroom and turning on the shower. Very clearly he needed to empty his mind. Undressing quickly, he tossed his clothes onto the floor, pushed the shower curtain aside, stepping into the tub and letting the lukewarm water fall over him.

Clearing his mind had worked for the last 19 hours. Not even a full 24 hours and Jungkook found himself in the same place that he was just four days ago. Feet frozen to the concrete block right in front of Yoongi’s apartment complex. His hands held his iPhone with his fingers hovering over the keys to type a quick text message to his hyung. However, they were frozen too. He just stood there, staring up at the same window. He shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be here. Jungkook needed to turn around right now. It was bad enough that his hair hadn’t even been brushed, clothes a mismatched mess with a oversized orange shirt and royal blue sweatpants that had some odd tribal like lime green and purple design on them. They belonged to Taehyung but he must have left them at Jungkook’s apartment the last time he came over.

The longer he stood there the more he remembered why he had left the first time. The irrational part of his brain was telling him that his hyung had messaged him so this was okay to do, it was okay to be here. However, the rational part of his brain was telling him to stop rationalizing things so that he would feel better. This was the exact reason he had hurt his hyung so much in the first place. His selfishness was overwhelming and seemed to know no bounds.

Jungkook felt the pin pricks behind his eyes once more and he really wanted to just let it out but he was in public. A woman walking her chihuahua had already given him an odd look for just standing there staring up at a window so forlornly. He knew that he looked like a hot mess and as much as it made him embarrassed it just made him even more upset. When did the tears fall? How did he let them? Why? Letting out a deep sigh, Jungkook turned away from the window and repeated what allowed him to leave the first time. To respect his hyung as he should have done so long ago.

One step.

One more foot in front of the other.

One hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling back on his momentum and jerking him to a stop. Looking over his shoulder, Jungkook’s eyes met with a man a number of centimeters shorter than him, pale blonde hair that was much different than the raven black he had previously but the same midnight pools that clouded with confusion and worry every single time.

Why hadn’t he seen it before? How could he have missed it? It was so obvious, blinking in his face like the red and blue lights of a police car plowing down the highway towards him. Guilt immediately washed over him.

“Jungkook…”

The rasp of the others voice sounded as if he had just woken from a deep sleep and it sent a chill down the younger’s spine. He hadn’t heard this voice in three years. Three years. It was so long, he had forgotten just how soothing his voice was. Jungkook would even say that it rivaled his mother’s voice when she was singing him a lullaby as a child. This was something he had never let the other man know, nor would he ever. Hell to the no, that would have to stay sealed in his vault of secrets.

“Yoongi Hyu-ssi,”

His words faltered as did his gaze on the older man, casting his eyes off to the side he pulled his wrist out of the man’s loose grasp. If he had just held the gaze a second longer he would have noted the tiny bit of hurt that flashed across Yoongi’s eyes before promptly returning to his infamous mask. Once upon a time, Jungkook had thought he had figured it out, been able to see through his mask. Letting his eyes flicker up briefly to the one person who was proving once again to never let him down when it counts, he came to the realization that he never once knew Min Yoongi’s mask. That was just him reflecting what he wanted to see. Such a fool he had been. No, is. Such a fool he is.

A deep sigh could be heard between them but the owner continued directly after,

“Come on.”

There wasn’t any room for argument, it was unyielding and only reinforced when Yoongi reclaimed Jungkook’s wrist in his hand and tried to walk away. Jungkook was dragged along for a couple of steps but short stopped causing the other male to be jerked back some. Turning back he questioned the younger quietly.

“I-I didn’t mean to come here.”

Yoongi remained silent just staring into Jungkook’s tear streaked face. He didn’t understand the younger’s point because he sure as hell didn’t mean to look out his window, find Jungkook crying in front of his apartment complex for not the first but the second time. He didn’t mean to struggle for days, typing out a message only to erase it and type it out, wash and repeat, wash and repeat for three days. And he certainly didn’t mean to go down to meet the kid that for some reason stayed outside for at least 20 minutes. Yet, here they were. Jungkook had walked himself to his door after three years of silence and here was Yoongi running right to the crying boy, heart contracting in ways he had thought, hoped had ceased to exist a long time ago. Instead his heart was acting like the Tin Man that had been left unattended for years but just a little bit of oil and he was remembering how to function exactly as he had before.

“So?”

A part of him was struggling to pull away, to let Jungkook walk away, to continue the beneficial distance they created. He had created, the younger didn’t have a choice. It was the right choice, he knew it. These past three years had proved it as well. However, here they were, Jungkook with trails of tears along his cheeks and the bigger part of Yoongi hurt for the younger. He couldn’t just leave him be, not when the younger had sought him out whether he meant to or not.

“I shouldn’t-”

The sadness in the younger’s eyes, the struggle he could see as Jungkook fought over what he should be doing right now just frustrated Yoongi. He knew what the younger was thinking, he always had. Yoongi was aware that finally after six years Jungkook understood all that Yoongi had been to him, all that Yoongi had sacrificed, all that Yoongi had shoved away just to make the younger happy. He knew that Jungkook felt severe guilt but neither of them could change the past and right now the extreme hurt and sadness that Jungkook was emitting like a beacon, plagued Yoongi so much more.

“Shouldn’t have what? Come here… but you did. Should I just ignore that you’ve been crying on my doorstep?” he all but growled at the younger.

Controlling his anger had always been easy except upon two occasions. When he had finally had enough of continuously hurting himself and when someone hurt the man who was standing directly in front of him now. Yoongi was frustrated with a lot of things, Jungkook looking so broken and lost, the fact that he himself had come down here, the fact that he himself still cared, the fact that he himself still seemed to jump whenever the younger called even though Jungkook technically hadn’t called at all. That actually made things worse. The fact that Jungkook was standing on his doorstep crying, broken and still seemingly the most beautiful soul Min Yoongi had ever laid eyes on.

“Yes.”

“Stop being stubborn,” he sighed out, ready to turn around and drag the younger inside of the apartment complex. Somehow they were still standing about fifteen feet from the entrance. Jungkook’s gaze sharpened in his resolve to not listen to the elder.

“I’m not being stubborn. I’m trying to respect you the way I should have always respected you.”

If the blonde's jaw could actively drop to the ground it would, hanging ajar, Yoongi had to make a conscious effort to close it. What load of bullshit was this kid spitting. If he wasn’t so annoyed right now, he would have found the sentiment cute. He let go of Jungkook’s wrist, letting it drop by his side. Keeping himself centered, he looked directly at the younger,

“It’s been three years Jungkook. You don’t need to tread lightly around my feelings.” His voice softened, “They… are in the past.”

Lie.

Lie.

Such a fucking lie.

“Ju- just come in. I still care about you.” Shifting his eyes off to his left shoulder before raising back up, growing the courage to say his next line without removing the mask he had so carefully constructed so many years ago. Clearing his throat he continued,

“I’ll always care about you. As a friend.”

The smoke swirling around his nostrils traveling into his lungs, filling them in such a way that it wasn’t just difficult to breathe but it physically hurt to draw in a breath and release one. A friend. That was the joke of a century. When had he ever wanted to just be Jungkook’s friend? Actually, there was a time, multiple times. Every night when they were just friends he had hoped he’d wake up the next morning rid of any other feeling except fond appreciation for the younger boy.

It never happened though. Jungkook’s smile was his smile, his laughter made Yoongi’s soul soar, his presence was the warmest blanket, his touch a mixture between cool water sliding along his skin making him fresh and clean for another day and the scorching flames that would lick caustically and consume anything in it’s path. Jungkook had always felt like the house Yoongi could never go home to but desperately wished to return to and he had hoped that one day he would be Jungkook’s home as well.

A friend.

Yes, that was the biggest lie Min Yoongi had ever told. It was also one of the most necessary lies he had ever told. If he felt that way before he said it, he wholly felt that way. Something in Jungkook seemed to relax, made him hesitate and that was all the opening that Yoongi needed. The crack was just big enough. Stepping closer he clasped his large hand around Jungkook’s and tugged on it gently, nodding his head towards the front door of his apartment complex.

This time Jungkook allowed himself to be pulled along, one foot in front of the other. Well, he was doing that just not in the direction he had originally wanted. Even worse he couldn’t seem to stop himself from feeling that familiar calmness spread from his hand along his arm to the rest of his body. There was and always had been something about his hyung that had always been able to settle his feelings into complacency. It was a mystery but one that Jungkook had always appreciated.

OSFTSB Chapters

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CLOSED: SEASON TWO: Send Me A Pairing And Number And I’ll Write You A Drabble

CLOSED ~ No more requests will be accepted.

***Close Date: 5/13/2017***

IT'S BACK ^^

Just like the title says, send me a BTS pairing or BiasxYou and I'll write you a little something ^^

I came across this by chance and thought it would be a really fun idea!

I will be writing anywhere from a drabble to Flash Fiction. This means 100 - 1000 words, no more, no less.

Please send me an Ask/Submission and I'll post the drabble on here as well as reply to your message once it's been completed.

Format:

Number:

Quote:

Pairing or Bias x You: (SugaKookie or Jungkook x You)

Bias x You ONLY: Let me know if you want to be younger or older than you bias ~ (Noona/Hyung/Dongsaeng)

                                          REQUESTS: OPEN

*I really wanted to start this again but I'm ONLY taking 10 requests at a time!*

I will only be taking TWO requests per number (already have two separate requests for the same number). That being the case, I will strike out the number ex:  #1 - Writers Choice  when the # becomes unavailable. I will be taking only up to TWO requests per person.

Note: Please be aware that I do work a FULL-TIME job and have an active life outside of work. However, I really want to start writing again and I truly enjoy the drabbles/ff so I will try to complete these in a timely manner. 

Link to completed requests: here

1.    “You do realize that we’re locked in, right?” [Requested Once]

2.   “Sometimes it just gets too hard to keep pretending.”  [Requested Once]

3.   “I can’t help but stare.” [Requested Once]

4.   “Why am I always the one carrying you?”  [Requested Once]

5.   “Roses are red. Violets are blue. If you were a Pokemon, I’d choose you.” [Requested Once]

6.   “Is there a reason your knees are shaking and your hand is squeezing like there’s no tomorrow?” [Requested Once]

7.   “You’ve got a little something… Right there… No, there.” [Requested Once]

8.   “You. Cuddle. Me. Now.” [Requested Once]

9.   “And if I don’t?” [Requested Once]

10. “Make me.” [Requested Once]

11. “Can’t you pretend to love me? Just once.” [Requested Once]

12. “Is your ego really that big?”  [Requested Once]

13. “Is that b-blood?” [Requested Once]

14. “Kiss it and make it better.” [Requested Once]

15. “Stay by my side… Please.” [Requested Once]

16. “Come on, dance in the rain with me.” [Requested Once]

17. “Baby, you’ll never know me.” [Requested Once]

18. “Ready or not, here I come!”  [Requested Once]

19. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on m-”  [Requested Once]

20. “Just shut-shut up for one minute!”

21. “Do you want to build a snowman?” [Requested Once]

22. “Open your eyes.”  [Requested Once]

23. “Hug me.”  [Requested Once]

24. “Are we really doing this right now?!” [Requested Once]

25. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be chained to this fence right now.” [Requested Once]

26. “I’ll always come if you call.” [Requested Once]

27. “Whoa! Did you see that just now?”

28. “I don’t ask for a lot in this world. Just love–and wifi connection.”  [Requested Once]

29. “Why is there glitter in my hair and stars in your eyes?” [Requested Once]

30. “Are you going to hate me for forever if I do this?” [Requested Once]

31. “I’m pretty sure this is illegal.” [Requested Once]

32. “I’m betting on you.”  [Requested Once]

33. “Add me, subtract him, multiply your feelings, and divide the love.” [Requested Once]

34. “I could get used to coming home to this.” [Requested Once]

35. “How am I supposed to forget it like it never happened?” [Requested Once]

36. “Open the door before I break it down.” [Requested Once]

37. “So… what are we?”  [Requested Once]

38. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”  [Requested Once]

39. “You’re the beginning of a new chapter in my story.” [Requested Once]

40. “Don’t you think that’s a little too short?” [Requested Once]

41. “Why did we think this would be a good idea?”  [Requested Once]

42. “I’m not doing it on purpose. I swear.” [Requested Once]

43. “This is the part when you say that you love me back.” [Requested Once]

44. “That’s one more thing I regret doing.” [Requested Once]

45. “I think I just heard something that I wasn’t supposed to hear.”  [Requested Once]

46. “You know, we could just leave and not look back.”  [Requested Once]

47. “Are you real or are you fake?” [Requested Once]

48. “Am I not enough for you anymore?” [Requested Once]

49. “Fine. I surrender. You win.” [Requested Once]

50. “There are no rules to this game.”  [Requested Once]

51. “I swear it’s not mine!”  [Requested Once]

52. “But… you promised.”  [Requested Once]

53. “Forever and always.”  [Requested Once]

54. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

55. “Are you happy now?”

56. “I think I need a hug.” [Requested Once]

57. “To be honest, I just want you.” [Requested Once]

58. “I blew it, didn’t I?”  [Requested Once]

59. “I’m confused.”  [Requested Once]

60. “Tell me the truth. Please.” [Requested Once]

61. “In hindsight, I should have looked at the instructions.”  [Requested Once]

62. “I didn’t do it, but if I had, would you hate me.”  [Requested Once]

63. “Don’t make me regret this.”  [Requested Once]

64. “This isn’t anything like how I imagined it.”  [Requested Once]

65. “Don’t worry; it hurts a little less each time.” [Requested Once]

66. “I think I’m going to be sick.”  [Requested Once]

67. “That was really cheesy.”  [Requested Once]

68. “Go ahead–rip my heart out.”  [Requested Once]

69. “I don’t care what you talk about, can you just keep talking?”  [Requested Once]

70. “I’m not afraid of thunder, that’s silly-” [Requested Once]

71. “I can’t sleep, so can you sing to me?” [Requested Once]

72. “Stop laughing at me.”  [Requested Once]

73. “Is it okay if I steal your heart?”  [Requested Once]

74. “I will protect you with my life.” [Requested Once]

75. “Hold this, I’m gonna go kick his ass.”  [Requested Once]

76. "Did I ask for your insight?"

77. "How many of these do you have?"  [Requested Once]

78. "It's 2 am; I think that's enough of that." [Requested Once]

79. "You're the one who said to be quiet, and you're not being quiet."

80. "Hey, do you wanna fight?"

81. "I was kidding."

82. "Where did you get that?"  [Requested Once]

83. "And then–hey, are you listening?"

84. "Watch, this is the best part!"  [Requested Once]

85. "This looks... appetizing?"  [Requested Once]

86. "How long have you been standing outside?" [Requested Once]

87. "...That's where that went."  [Requested Once]

88. "Did you just throw that at me?" [Requested Once]

89. "I swear, sometimes you love that game more than you love me."  [Requested Once]

90. "You still have this?" [Requested Once]

91. "Where have you been?" [Requested Once]

92. "You haven't been answering my calls."  [Requested Once]

93. "I know you are, but what am I?"  [Requested Once]

94. "Can you quiet down? I'm trying to sleep."

95. "Why do you like him so much?"  [Requested Once]

96. "I was thinking about our future."  [Requested Once]

97. "11:11, make a wish." [Requested Once]

98. "Don't you dare."  [Requested Once]

99. "How many times do I have to tell you?" [Requested Once]

100. “Can we stay inside?”  [Requested Once]

101. Writer’s Preference

102. Choose your own quote!

~Anna

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Your Smile Is My Happiness

“Is there a reason your knees are shaking and your hand is squeezing like there’s no tomorrow?”

SugaKookie

Word Count: 6934

If you’ve ever had a crush then you probably could understand how Jungkook was feeling right now. Was it even possible to keep your knees from shaking when you were sitting less than an inch away from the person who made your heart race and stomach flip? Ugh, and this sweat? It wasn’t attractive in the slightest but he couldn’t get his palms to stop. This wasn’t the only occasion these reactions had occurred. In fact it had been growing worse with each interaction with the shorter yet older male that he respected more than he could ever put into words. Honestly, the twenty year old still wondered when his feelings had shifted. It wasn’t something that had happened over night though sometimes it felt like that. He had crushes  before but none of the previous ones had ever managed to make him as nervous as,

“Yoongi hyung,” made him.

Especially not when the older man didn’t even do anything out of the ordinary. Things were getting out of hand. Now, he was smiling into the air, seemingly nothing but it was because just hearing his hyung laugh from the other room made him happy. Anything that made the elder smile made Jungkook smile too. Others were beginning to notice his unusual actions and even some awkwardness from time to time. Jimin had totally caught him moving away at the flash of light when Yoongi had walked up to him and stopped so close that their arms brushed. This wasn’t something he should back away from, they had been together for the last four years. They had been living in the same dorm, even when Jungkook was still just an immature teenager and needed some direction. If anything the man who was causing the air to grow thin around him should feel more like a brother. He did. Well, he did previously, like two years ago. Things had slowly progressed from strangers, to friends, to brothers, all the while the awe and respect was just snowballing into a mass he couldn’t even see anymore. Yoongi hyung was amazing in so many ways. Sure he was annoying at times but wasn’t he annoying sometimes too? All the boys were. It was natural. Unlike the other boys though, Yoongi hyung shined. He shined so bright that he was hard to look at and sometimes it even hurt. Yes, things had truly grown out of control.

“Hmm?” Yoongi barely gave Jungkook a response and it was more of a grunt but it was a response. The younger wasn’t put off by it, this was normal and his hyung was reviewing lyrics on his phone that he had written the day before. Jungkook rubbed his hands on his Pokémon pajama pants and contemplated on how to tell Yoongi to move away without sounding rude. He needed some space because right now he had an overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around his hyung’s waist and nuzzle his neck. Yeah, nope, that would not do. He mentally gave himself a slap. This was not the type of things he should be thinking but in his defense it had been a long day. Okay, that wasn’t really much of a defense at all but it was all he had. Rationalization made him feel better… Sometimes.

Just as Jungkook got the courage to open his mouth and ask a large, veiny warm hand gripped his own hand that rested on his knee. His eyes darted down as soon as he felt it. If he felt like he was sweating before then it was even hotter now. He knew, knew, 100% knew that his ears turned red. Hopefully his cheeks hadn’t turned pink as well. Pursing his lips, Jungkook became really frustrated with himself. This was not the reaction he was supposed to be having. Yoongi didn’t mean anything by what he did, it was a normal, casual act that all the members and managers would do amongst each other.

“Kook, look this over for me, huh?” That smooth deep voice washed over his ears and it was so soothing that Jungkook’s thoughts flew right out of his mind. So much so that he didn’t even respond to his hyung. The phone being put in front of him also went unnoticed since his eyes were still on his hyung’s hand covering his own.

“Jungkook-ah?”

Hearing the question, Jungkook snapped his head up, brown hair flying about since he moved so fast. A second later he turned his head towards Yoongi and met a questioning expression that for some reason made his stomach fill with warmth. Biting his lip, the brunette made a snap decision, he needed to leave and he needed to leave now. If he didn’t then he might make a huge mess of things. The surge of adoration that he was feeling for Yoongi came on as sudden as a typhoon and it was dangerous. Standing up he stepped away from the couch and didn’t look back.

“I’m tired. Goodnight hyung.”

Those clipped words were all he said, as his nails pressed into the palms of his hands and the younger made his way into his room, hurriedly shutting the door and diving under the safety of his covers. It was better this way, he needed to get those feelings under control. Under lock and key. A niggling of guilt made it’s way through and Jungkook wanted to shove his covers aside, go right back to his hyung and apologize for his behavior. Explain. However, he knew that he would cave if he met Yoongi’s dark orbs right now. He shined, Min Yoongi always shined so brightly to Jungkook it was a struggle every day to not just reach out and touch.

Touch what wasn’t his.

Touch what he couldn’t have.

Touch what he didn’t deserve.

Days past since their last encounter and neither one mentioned how odd the younger had been acting. Jungkook had felt a couple of gazes that he knew were from one certain person. He ignored them, and ignored and ignored. Maybe so hard that it was obvious. No, it was obvious. However, Yoongi left him alone. It was just like his hyung too. He was always sensitive to his other members needs and wants. Yoongi knew when to give space and when to pry though it was almost never that the elder would pry. Just another reason that Jungkook lov-

Wait. What? Liked him. Yes, just another reason that Jungkook liked and admired his hyung.

Just another lie he was telling himself. Who was he to kid, Jungkook knew very well where that thought was heading and it was just wishful thinking that he changed the direction asap. Letting himself actively admit to anything made it just that much harder. That much more real and that much more of a problem. In his heart of hearts he knew the truth though. He has for a while now. It wasn’t like he didn’t love his hyung, he had since they established a friendship while still trainees. Love was ever flowing and ever-changing but that didn’t mean he had to acknowledge what form his love was taking currently. No, not just yet.

The door creaked open to the practice room. A figure made its way into the doorway but remained there watching Jungkook continue to lie with his eyes closed, sweat dripping down his forehead on the floor, arms out wide. The silence stretched between the two as one didn’t bother to make his presence known and the other didn’t acknowledge the presence he knew was in the room. After a few more moments, a cough echoed in the room as the figure cleared his throat breaking the silence specifically to get the younger to look towards him. Slowly, Jungkook opened his eyes and craned his head towards the figure. From the light in the room black hair with flecks of lingering blue could be seen. It was Yoongi hyung, who still didn’t say a word. The brunette lying on the floor didn’t either.

A moment late of silent communication, Jungkook reached for his towel and wiped off his sweat. Getting up he tossed the towel on his bag and then pulled his timberlands back on and followed his hyung out the door. No questions were asked, just the quiet footsteps of the two could be heard as they made their way through the almost empty building, up the stairs and to the roof. This wasn’t a place they frequented often but every now and then the fresh air was nice. Yoongi took a seat on the thick wall of the building and nodded for the younger to do the same. Jungkook did just that but made sure to put some space between them, not too much to make his hyung suspicious that something was going on with him but not too close so that his heart would be in danger of leaping out of his chest.

Sitting in silence wasn’t unusual when it was with Yoongi hyung. They had done this a number of times and oddly enough Jungkook never got bored. He especially enjoyed it when he were sitting in a position where he could see his hyung. That was never tiring, there was always some fleck of emotion passing through the elders face, whether it was just in his eyes or he scrunched up his nose in annoyance of something not going right or an eyebrow raise when a new idea came that he hadn’t contemplated before. It was almost a mission of the youngers to memorize them all. Tonight though, it would be too difficult unless he made it completely obvious that he was staring.

He let out a soft sigh and almost immediately after he felt the air shift. Yoongi’s hand was covering his own and their thighs were pressed together. Yoongi gave his hand a gently squeeze as he began to speak.

“You okay, Kookie?”

It had been a long time since his hyung had called him that. He wasn’t sure if anyone noticed but every time Yoongi began calling him by a name it became the name he gave on interviews that he liked to be referred as. It made him wonder if Yoongi would go back to Kookie now. He didn’t mind, he’d accept any name that the rapper  gave him. The brunette mulled over the question he had been asked. He wasn’t entirely sure how he wanted to answer that. Currently he was okay, well except for that he was feeling tingles going up and down his limbs, his back was stiff and his stomach had done another flip but that wasn’t what was being asked of him. He had been dancing because he wanted to perfect the next choreography to the song they’d be performing on the music shows soon. Nothing much had really changed for him. He was stuck in the same position he had been for over a year now. Some days were just harder than others.

“Yeah.” Keeping his head down the word came out just above a whisper but with their close proximity he really didn’t need to talk any louder than that. Yoongi began nodding his head as if Jungkook could see him but he didn’t need to. More silence stretched between the two and Yoongi’s hand didn’t leave the younger’s. It took a moment but after he stopped focusing so much on the effects that Yoongi was making him feel, that it wasn’t him feeling those things. His stomach was still fluttering and his hands were still clammy but he wasn’t shaking. Lifting his head up slightly, he looked over at Yoongi, glanced at their hands then back at his hyung.

“Hyung…” the shorter male just grunted in reply.

“Is there a reason your knees are shaking and your hand is squeezing like there’s no tomorrow?”

Yoongi refused to turn his head towards Jungkook and meet his gaze. If it hadn’t been for the fact that it was really dark outside even with all the lights of the city, Jungkook could have seen his hyung blush. Sadly that was not in the cards for him to night. The two could see each other just fine but it wasn’t quite bright enough to see any dustings of pink on either of their faces.

A gruff, “No,” was the reply he got as well as a forced relaxation in the grip that the elder had on his hand but it still never moved. The knees however, well they got a little worse before they got better. A short hushed string of curses could barely be heard but the tone was enough for Jungkook. He wasn’t really sure how to feel at the moment mainly because he didn’t know what to make out of this situation. His crazy mind wanted him to believe that it was a sign, a sign that he had never let himself even dream about receiving. The smarter part of him hushed the fantasy and denied that it could be a possibility. Regardless Jungkook was having a struggle within himself. He didn’t want to hope but his heart had already skipped a beat at the mere inkling that this could be a sign. It felt like one and oh how badly Jungkook wanted it to be one.

“Um…hyung, you’re uh, still ho-“

“I know. Am I not allowed to?” The deep timbre of his voice sent chills down Jungkook’s spine and his eyes widened in surprise. He really didn’t know what to do so his teeth found his bottom lip, biting and tearing at the skin there. It was a bad habit but he couldn’t seem to break it.

“Oh, uh, n-no. You c-can.” Oh for god’s sake, he was stuttering now?! If he could smack himself in the face right now Jungkook would but he didn’t want to do anything more ridiculous than he just made himself feel.

Yoongi’s voice softened and concern set in, “Sorry, Jungkook-ah. If it makes you uncomfortable…” he trailed off and began to lift his hand off of the youngers but it still hovered for a moment. In the end Yoongi ran his hand through his hair and stood up walking further away from the other. Jungkook followed his hyung with his eyes and was baffled by what he was seeing. Maybe it should be him asking the other if he was okay. This was the first time he had ever seen his hyung act so odd and… well, awkward.

“It shouldn’t uh, doesn’t, doesn’t make me uncomfortable.” Aish, that did not come out right. Jungkook didn’t know what was worse, telling the truth or covering it up with a lie. No answer was a good answer because neither came out sounding the way that he meant it. He swung his legs back and forth letting his heels hit against the concrete wall he was sitting on. Yoongi let out a dry laugh and tapped the tip of his shoe into the ground a few times.

“Shouldn’t… so it does.” He spoke with words softly but in the quiet of the night, Jungkook could still hear them. Letting out a sigh, the rapper turned around eyes flitting towards Jungkook’s for the briefest of moments before dropping down once more.

“You should get home, it’s late. I still need to work on some things.” It was the quickest that Jungkook had ever seen the elder put up a wall. They looked at each other and all the brunette could see was… nothing. There was no emotion, nothing, just a blank slab, a dead stare. Exactly what he never wanted to see but he was really confused about the short burst of events that had just transpired. He didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing.

Yoongi walked towards the rooftop door and let himself back into the warmth of BigHit Entertainment. Back into the walls he knew they shouldn’t be breaking. Back to the safety of doing what idols do best, pretending that everything is okay even when it’s not.

Sliding down the wall Jungkook trudged his way to the door. For some reason his feet felt really heavy, just like his heart. He didn’t even know why but he felt like he had just messed everything up. Should he go after Yoongi? Should he just leave him be? Yoongi was so much better at this than he was. The singer made his way through the familiar hallways full of too many questions and not enough answers. The one thing he did know was that he didn’t want to leave things like this. He wanted Yoongi to smile. Oh, how he wanted the elder to smile. Truly, that was all he ever wanted regardless of his feelings if the elder was smiling then Jungkook could breathe. He could smile too.

As he passed by the studio that he knew Yoongi was occupying he hesitated. Standing outside the door, he peered into it. It was almost like he could see the other male in the room and in a way. Jungkook knew what Yoongi was doing and he never grew bored of watching. Reaching out for the doorknob, he held onto it, took in a sharp breath and let it out hard as he opened the door. Walking inside, it was no surprise that his hyung had headphones on. He made his way over but barely got halfway before one of them was removed full from his hyung’s ear and strict words filled the air.

“Go home Jungkook.”

It felt like he was being scolded but for what? And why? Deciding to ignore his hyung he took another couple of steps in the room. A loud huff was heard and the chair quickly spun around. Those dark eyes were locked with his in a matter of seconds but they were once again devoid of anything. A mask and a good one his hyung was wearing.

“I don’t have time to argue with you. Go home, you’re not five you don’t need me to send you.” Spinning promptly back around Yoongi placed the headphone back over his ear though not completely. The younger just stared in confusion at the man in front of him. His words were harsh and it sort of bothered him but he didn’t want to let it. This wasn’t like Yoongi and he understood that but it still was frustrating that he was being treated like a kid even if he was just told he wasn’t one.

“Hyung-”

Before he could even say anything else, Yoongi had interrupted him and this time he was much louder and very much annoyed with Jungkook.

“Jungkook! Don’t make me say it again.”

The younger bit his lip but didn’t say anything. He stared for a moment longer but then turned away. This time his heart was racing but not for the same reason it had just twenty minutes ago. Once he made it to the door, he spoke for the last time.

“I don’t know what I did hyung, but I’m sorry.”

With that he shut the door behind him and leaned against it. A loud crash sounded from inside the room and made him jump but as much as he wanted to rush right back in and make sure Yoongi was okay, he knew better. Instead, he listened to his elder and went home.

Last night, he barely got any sleep but upon seeing Yoongi the next morning at breakfast he thought his hyung was truly worse for wear. Jungkook bit his lip a lot that day and often opened his mouth to speak but only closed it right after. The other members noticed but didn’t know how to broach the subject and instead just let things play out.

And play out they did indeed. Neither Yoongi nor Jungkook talked unless necessary to each other. They previously would spend at minimum some quality time together at least once a day even if it was spent in silence. The next week was spent in silence but never alone. There was always at least one other person present.

“Hyung, you awake?” a loud whisper but a whisper nonetheless filled the dark bedroom.

“Yeah?” came the raspy reply, followed by the rustling of bedsheets as one person turned over.

“Is Yoongi hyung doing okay?”

A small stretch of silence hovered in the room.

“Namjoon?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself Kookie?” It was an innocent enough question but it wasn’t one that the younger wanted to hear. Namjoon however was tired of answering this question every single night. Couldn’t the two just talk to each other? This was ridiculous. He didn’t even care what the two must have fought over. They all had to spend basically 24/7 with each other, they needed to figure that shit out and figure it out soon. Their gloom was starting to settle in his own bones and he really didn’t need any extra reasons to feel down.More than that though he just wanted everyone to be as happy as they can be.

“I don’t know what you two fought about but one of you has to break. Maybe you should be the one to be the bigger person.”

Jungkook sighed into his pillow. He knew that his roommate was just trying to help but he really didn’t know what to do and it wasn’t as if he could even explain it. How can you explain something you don’t even understand. Namjoon did have a point though, one of them would have to break. Perhaps waiting for Yoongi to figure things out he should offer another olive branch.

“Also, where did your manners go huh? Namjoon?” The elder huffed in mock annoyance making the younger laugh.

“Thanks hyung.” Some more rustling and a grunt indicated the end of the conversation. Lying on his back, Jungkook became lost in his thoughts once more but eventually he fell asleep with the determination to speak with Yoongi the next time he saw him.

That proved to be harder than anticipated. Not because he didn’t see Yoongi but every time he had an opportunity either one of his other hyungs swooped in or he got a rush of nerves and backed down. He had been caught mouth wide open only to snap shut and walk in the opposite direction a number of times. Enough for Jimin to come up to him and ask what was going on.

“It’s uh, it’s nothing don’t worry about it.” Jungkook brushed off Jimin easily. He didn’t know what to say and being embarrassed didn’t make that any easier.

It wasn’t until it was past one in the morning that Jungkook had managed to find Yoongi alone. He decided to stay and dance a little to stave off his nervousness and then pray that Yoongi was in his studio. For the first time today, luck was on his side. Yoongi was in his studio and Hoseok was just leaving.

“Kookie you’re still here? Want to stop at the convenience store with me. Ice cream!” Hoseok wiggled his eyebrows at the younger and Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh. Waving his arms in front of him, he shook his head.

“Not today, next time.” Hoseok whined and tried again to seduce him over to the dark side but Jungkook just waved him off again and finally the older man left. Looking into the studio he could only see the back of his hyung’s grey beanie clad head. He could feel his hands starting to become clammy but he ignored it and pulled the door shut behind him.

Dragging a stool next to Yoongi, he straddled it and watched as Yoongi made a multitude of clicks on the screen. Now that he was alone with his hyung, he really didn’t know what to say. Reaching a hand out he hesitated, stomach doing it’s infamous flip because he was just about to rest his hand on the others knee to get his attention. That shouldn’t cause such a reaction but he couldn’t help it. Finally, he lowered his hand and touched Yoongi.

The elder looked to his right and raised a brow in silent question as to what the other wanted.

“Do you want to uh go to the store with me for a sec?”

The brow raised even higher.

“Didn’t Hoseok just ask you that and you declined?”

Jungkook removed his hand from Yoongi’s knee and scratched the back of his neck while laughing embarrassed because that did indeed just happen. He bit his lip, that habit was never going to leave him.

“Well, go to the roof with me then.”

“Why? Here is fine. Just spit it out.” Yoongi wasn’t being rude he was just being rather obtuse. Jungkook just wanted to make sure they had some time alone. It was late sure but if he had learned anything trainees and idols hung around to practice harder than they should. Prime example was the man in front of him. He just wanted to make sure things were fixed without anything hindering his efforts. Except Yoongi was doing just that. Jungkook let out a sigh.

“Please Yoongi hyung? Just for a few minutes.” Gazing into Yoongi’s eyes he pleaded silently. The elder glanced away and fidgeted with his beanie.

“Fine but just a few minutes. I have to finish this song in three days.” Immediately a smile spread across Jungkook’s lips and he stood up. Groaning like an old man, this was exactly why they called him a grandpa, Yoongi stood up as well and followed the younger to the roof.

Resting his forearms along the wall  of the roof, Jungkook stared out at the city of Seoul that was still quite busy. He really did enjoy the fresh air and wished they could enjoy it more than they got to. It wasn’t often they could freely enjoy the air without prying eyes. Up here, they always could.

“You got me up here, you’re not going to hand me a letter now are you?” Jungkook could feel the tips of his ears burning as he processed his hyung’s teasing words but he just shook his head.

“I think you’ve been watching too many animes with Tae lately, hyung.” The elder shrugged his shoulders before joining the younger along the wall. Jungkook still didn’t know what he wanted to say in regards to that one night but he knew he had to say something.

“Look, I’m sorry for the other night. You know, yeah you know that one. Uh, “ Yoongi coughed, clearly uncomfortable with this topic. Jungkook’s eyes widened slightly, surprised by the apology.

“I was just frustrated with myself. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” He knew that Yoongi was very hardly staring out at the city but Jungkook turned his head towards his semi-blue haired hyung a small smile present.

“It’s okay. That didn’t bother me. I just didn’t want you to be upset.” The other man didn’t say anything but Jungkook knew that he was listening. He didn’t need any response, he just wanted to let Yoongi know that he would be there for him. That he was always there for him and that he was never alone.

“You know that… Well, I’m not great at giving advice but I’m a good listening. Great listener. Y-you can always talk to me.” He wasn’t expecting it but a hand shot out and ruffled his hair.

“You're a good dongsaeng, you know that?” Yoongi’s hand was still in his hair and Jungkook’s chest was constricting. He wanted so badly to say, only a dongsaeng, but he knew he couldn’t. He wouldn’t mess up what he was so close to fixing. Had learned some things over the past week. He really, really missed Yoongi. Even though some days they would only say a few words, just those few words and being able to look at his hyung's face was enough for him. Jungkook didn’t want to lose that again.

The ruffling slowed and now Yoongi was just running his fingers through Jungkook’s hair. They stayed like that in silence for a few moments. Yoongi’s sigh interrupted it and he removed his hand. Jungkook didn’t really like the way that sigh sounded but he wasn’t good at reading atmosphere and he didn’t really know if he should let it go or not. Treading lightly he quietly inquired.

“Hyung?”

Yoongi looked down at Jungkook and smiled for the first time in days. It wasn’t his full gummy smile but it was still a smile. It made his heart swell and smile back.

“Just thinking about the song, I don’t think I can work on it tonight. Maybe I’ll just work on lyrics, I still need to finish those as well.”

“Can’t you do that at home? No offense but you look like shit.” Jungkook raised a finger to the bag underneath Yoongi’s eye and traced it. When he removed his hand, his ears were burning. He hadn’t meant to do that and the cross expression he was receiving from the man he just touched wasn’t helping him at all.

“Excuse me? I look good all the time.” He huffed but laughed a moment later ruining his false bravado.

“Yeah, I planned on taking it home.” Pushing himself off the wall Yoongi started walking towards the rooftop door and Jungkook caught up in a few strides.

“Do I really look like shit?”

“Yeah hyung, you really do. Cute shit though?”

“Shut up.”

Their laughter filled the hallways and Jungkook didn’t tell Yoongi that he wasn’t just teasing him.

Once the two made it home, Jungkook went to shower and Yoongi parked himself on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table and his lyric journal in his lap, pen scratching away at the paper. He was going to be up for awhile and it probably wouldn't help his looking like shit business but that was the least of his worries. The younger took awhile in the shower but Yoongi was too invested in his work to tease Jungkook when he came out let alone notice.

He did notice however a head nudging its way into his lap and shifting his journal out of the way.

“Yah, I’m writing here.” His words were only met with soft giggles and even though the younger couldn’t see, Yoongi was ever so slightly smiling.

“Really though, I am workin-”

“Yoongi hyung,” Jungkook interrupted, he was in a really good mood now and didn’t really care that Yoongi was working. Well, he did but he cared about other things more. Like his health.

“It’s late, you should sleep.” He tried to reprimand the elder, but it only resorted in a snort from the other. Shifting, Jungkook sat up and laid his head on the others shoulder.

“It’s late, you should sleep Jungkook-ah.” The words were said full of sarcasm but laced with tenderness, especially when the maknae’s name was spoken. It sent a shiver down his back. Eyes looking in front of him, he glanced at the lyrics Yoongi was writing then travelled down to Yoongi’s hand resting on his own thigh. The longer he stared the more he wanted to trace each finger with his own, draw circles on the top of Yoongi’s hand, entwine their fingers. Really, he just wanted to touch Yoongi. More than what he was.

“I will when you do.” Cheeky maknae at his finest. Yoongi grumbled but went back to writing. He would make the younger go to bed in a bit. He always worried about everyone else before himself, this was no exception. Getting lost in his task once more, he didn’t notice the hand that was hovering above his own, only to be retracted and then hovering once more.

It took a lot of trips on nerves rollercoaster but finally Jungkook traced one of Yoongi’s fingers ever so lightly. This earned him a side glance but not more than that. Jungkook did it again with the next finger and the next and the next. No reaction from the man he was leaning against. Jungkook’s heart continued to pound harder with each passing second as he continued to grow braver. It was intoxicating to give in to his urges and not be denied. He wasn’t exactly being accepted either but he had never once let himself go and just this tiny taste… Well, it made him want to push the boundaries even more. It may not seem like boundaries to others but Jungkook knew what this meant to him and it was definitely pushing his luck.

Moving his hand back over to the left of Yoongi’s he lifted it up and slipped his underneath the other, lacing their fingers together. Being as close as Jungkook was, he could hear the small intake of breath that Yoongi had done. He also heard how shakily it was exhaled. Yoongi hadn’t curled his fingers against the younger's and it had him holding his breath.

“I thought this bothered you.” The words were barely a whisper but it reminded him of the previous conversation the two of them had about this. He felt like this could be a dangerous situation and he didn’t want to regress but he didn’t want to back down either. He wanted to be honest for once. Jungkook didn’t know where all of this courage came from but if he didn’t stick with it now he knew he never ever would.

“It does.” Jungkook replied just as softly, he could feel Yoongi tense up and start to take his hand away. He closed his fingers around Yoongi’s hand even harder, not allowing him to take his hand away, his warmth.

“Just not in the way you think.” He said even softer than before. If it wasn’t for the fact that there was absolutely no noise in the living room except their breathing Yoongi wouldn’t have heard those words. Keeping his eyes on his paper, Yoongi tapped the pen against it. Neither male said anything until the pen stopped tapping.

“In what way then?”

If anyone else could see the two of them it would look like they were having a slumber party and whispering because their parents were already asleep. In a way it was like that. Neither wanted to wake up the other members but for very, very different reasons. It also felt like if they spoke louder than they were that whatever this current mood, spell was would be broken. Jungkook nor Yoongi could afford that right now.

Raising his head from Yoongi’s shoulder slowly, Jungkook gazed directly at Yoongi’s lips. He didn’t want to look at his eyes for fear of what he’d see there and then lost resolve. God, he had waited for a moment like this for so long. He didn’t want anything to jeopardize this. His stomach was in knots but something about the atmosphere he knew he was terrible at reading, something about it was telling him, this was okay, now was the time.

Fools rush in, and so did Jungkook. He pressed his lips against Yoongi’s and it wasn’t an amazing kiss, it didn’t stop his breath but Jungkook had done it. He had laid his heart bare. What he’d give to do it again and not be so fast, to actually feel Yoongi’s lips against his and put more feeling behind it. Jungkook was an open book right now but he had been too nervous, too greedy, too fast. As slowly as possible he raised his eyes to meet the other males.

Those passionate dark orbs were glued onto him and it immediately made the air thick, hard to breathe. Jungkook could tell that his hyung was surprised, it was written all over his face. He didn’t know where to go from here and his stomach was back in knots and his heart was just out of control. He felt really scared that he might have just messed things up but he had to finish seeing this through.

“Because, then I can’t control myself.” If that wasn’t the truth he didn’t know what was.

The silence enveloped them both and while Jungkook was on the edge of his seat, Yoongi was just slowly being able to pick up all of is pieces. Licking his lips, his eyes slipped down to Jungkook’s lips and then back up to those warm chocolate eyes that he couldn’t find a trace of any jokes. Not that he had really thought his dongsaeng would make such a joke but he had never fathomed this would be happening.

Yoongi removed his hand from Jungkook’s and he could feel just how much he was crushing the innocent beautiful person right in front of him.However, he turned in towards Jungkook and raised his hand to cup his cheek. Tilting his head he leaned in and brushed his lips against Jungkook’s pink perfect lips. Yoongi’s hand slid down to Jungkook’s neck and urged the other to let him in. It took a half a moment but then he was deepening their kiss. He was only good with words on paper but he would try. He would. Just after he claimed the kiss he had been aching to give the man in front of him for the last two in a half years.

Pulling back, Yoongi laid his forehead on Jungkook’s shoulder.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” He whispered,

Melodious laughter rang out disrupting their quiet bubble but to Yoongi it was always welcome. It had been his driving force for too long now.

“I think that’s my line hyung.” Yoongi lifted his head up and stared at the other in very hard disbelief before he smirked,

“Too bad.” and kissed the younger again. Jungkook didn’t hesitate this time, he wrapped his arms around Yoongi’s neck and slid his fingers in his hair. Pulling on it, he hadn’t expected Yoongi to let out a moan but it hit Jungkook in a lower region than any of his emotions had been this night. He tugged Yoongi’s lower lip into his mouth and sucked on it as he felt warm hands slide underneath his shirt and along his back. The way those fingers were raking his back, Jungkook didn’t want to let go but he did and licked along Yoongi’s no red swollen lower lip.

Their breaths had grown much heavier than just a moment ago. Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from pecking Yoongi on the lips while trying to find some ground to cling onto even though he didn’t want to. Just as he was about to go back in for more, Yoongi removed his hands from underneath the younger’s shirt. Raising his eyes to meet Yoongi’s he silently questioned him.

Clearing his throat, Yoongi looked away but didn’t peel Jungkook’s hands from around his neck.

“It’s 2am; I think that’s enough of that.”

Jungkook leaned in next to Yoongi’s ear,

“But Yoongi-yah, haven’t you been waiting so long to do that?” No  one said that he wasn’t cheeky. Jungkook had never claimed not to be either and now was no exception. He knew what he was doing but the euphoria and warmth he was feeling from everything that had just transpired, he couldn’t help it. He was going to push his luck as much as he could. Plus of all the times he had imagined kissing Yoongi, none of it measured up as amazing as that kiss they just shared. It was intoxicating and he wanted more.

A low groan that almost sounded like a growl escaped Yoongi’s lips and he really did peel Jungkook off of him. Rubbing his large hand over his face and jaw, Yoongi moved further away from Jungkook. He shook his finger at the man in front of him.

“You, go to bed. I can’t be held accountable for anything more.” He reached down and picked up his pen and journal that had fallen to the floor in the midst of their embrace.

“What if I don’t ho-” the younger tried to start but promptly got a finger placed on his lips only to be removed as if it had been burned.

“D-don’t finish that.” Turning away, he brought his pen to the paper and tried to focus on the words he had already written. Trying to find that previous strain of thought he had. It was much harder than Yoongi would have liked to admit. Jungkook pouted for a few moments but dropped it in favor of laying his head back in Yoongi’s lap but being careful not to mess with his journal this time.

“I thought I told you to go to bed.” A grumpy grumble came from the man above him. Jungkook closed his eyes and got comfortable.

“I told you I’d go to bed when you do. Just let me be with you hyung. I’ve missed you.” There was silence between the two of them. It wasn’t uncomfortable. Jungkook knew that Yoongi was carefully choosing his words and the longer he was silent the longest he got to stay in this spot. The elder could be as quiet as he liked.

“I missed you too Jungkook-ah. I missed you a lot.”

Jungkook smiled so brightly at words he never thought would be reciprocated in the same way as him. Yoongi gazed down adoringly at the younger, a similar smile also gracing his lips before he went back to his work.

Jungkook-ah was his favorite way to be referred to as… but only from Min Yoongi.

Continuation ~ Clicky

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What Hurts The Most

Sugakookie ~Yoonseok

This is actually a continuations of Soul Partners Always and Forever ~ 

However, it can be read as a stand alone fic. If you'd like an even more thorough understanding of YoonSeok and their relationship then please feel free to read Soul Partners Always and Forever.

Word Count: 13,490

There was something to be said about exhaustion. Now, it was fully understood what his mother said when she was exhausted from work. It wasn’t that she had a physically laboring job but it was emotionally tiring. Having to think so much could be so very, very tiring. In this case, Jungkook hadn’t been thinking as much as swimming through a vast tumultuous sea of emotions. It truly was exhausting. Even worse was that as he laid on his own bed, half of his body hanging off, he didn’t feel comfortable. No, not due to his awkward position but his bed… Well, his bed hadn’t quite been his bed in a while. It had become a stranger. It didn’t feel like home anymore, it felt lonely.

The longer he laid the the heavier he sighed. Throwing his arm over his eyes, the man tried to keep his last memories of his boyfriend… ex-boyfriend? At bay. He didn’t want to revisit their argument, those deep sad coal eyes before he turned around and shut the door behind him. It was just bringing about more emotions he didn’t need. Who knew how taxing finding your soulmate could be?

It had only been about a couple weeks since his wrist started to throb and random emotions that didn’t come from Jungkook but filled up his very soul took over. He was laughing at moments that he really shouldn’t be laughing in… Like with the parents of his dance students. No, that was not the time to be laughing when he’s discussing how one of their children are acting up and not listening like they used to. Inquiring if something was going on at home. Or how he just suddenly burst into tears while in a rather intimate moment with his boyfriend. It was so bizarre and new and overwhelming. Neither him nor his boyfriend knew what was going on but Jungkook could tell. He knew, he knew that Yoongi had an inkling.

That was what had set everything off. Yoongi would just grow quiet and distant, which was something they had battled before but that was when he got too absorbed in his music. This was different, it was secretive and really, Jungkook just couldn’t tolerate it. He didn’t think he was asking for a lot. For his boyfriend, his boyfriend to be honest with him. It didn’t matter much, Jungkook found out. He found Park Jimin, one of the most beautiful creatures he had ever seen. The man had died his hair orange but it was fading and somehow the fading color looked better than the original. He had bright eyes and the cutest cheeks that Jungkook just wanted to squish and very plump lips. Did he mention how short the other man was? Just like Yoongi hyung. So small but with many more muscles. Jimin was cute and he didn’t need the help of his aching wrist to tell him that, that was his soulmate. A sense of serenity had fallen over him the moment he laid eyes on Jimin.

In that same moment, the man raised his head from the document he was filling out at the front desk of the dance studio Jungkook worked for and found Jungkook’s eyes. He could tell the other knew as well. A shy almost awkward smile broke over both of their lips and Jungkook’s feet were moving before his mind could even catch up with it.

“Hi.” He spoke softly, almost a sigh.

“Hi.” The words weren’t magical but they were. It was indescribable the way he felt meeting his soulmate let alone hearing the other man speak. He had so many questions, like why was he crying the other day and what made him laugh so hard that Jungkook even started smacking his knee with tears forming in his eyes while in front of his student’s parents. He didn’t though. That happened later.

That happened after Jungkook went home practically skipping and rushing all his words excitedly as he told Yoongi that he met his soulmate and how amazing it was and if he felt the same way when Yoongi met Hoseok hyung. However, the excitement fluffy haired brunette was feeling wasn’t reciprocated. There were storm clouds above his lovers head and the mood shifted so quickly it was jarring. And then it dawned on him, that Yoongi knew the entire time. He knew that Jungkook was close to finding his soulmate and said nothing. Didn’t comfort him when he didn’t understand what was happening to him, just let him think that something was wrong with him. That Yoongi was scared of this happening but for the life of him Jungkook couldn’t understand why. Why didn’t his hyung, best friend, lover, want him to find and have what he had with Hoseok, his soul partner as they always said.

Neither of their words were nice and neither was the ending. It had been over a week since he last saw Yoongi. Oddly enough, he had just met Jimin and that was the first person he went crying to. Yes, crying because Yoongi had always been the only one to invoke such strong emotions from him. All emotions. All taxing emotions.

Jimin though, Jimin was great. He was understanding, caring and somehow could just soothe him with a simple hand on his back. It was amazing. It felt a little awkward at first, baring so many private and intimate thoughts with the other but it also felt right. They were meant for each other after all. It also wasn’t long before they developed a pretty good friendship. Work was, well it was a lot more fun with Jimin around. They joked a lot and played pranks on the other. Talked serious when it was needed and it was nice.

Park Jimin was a half of Jungkook that he didn’t know he was missing.

Letting out a heavy sigh, “Sorry, Jimin-ah…”

He knew that his feelings were transferring to his soulmate but he had never been very good about controlling those when it came to Yoongi. They had left things in a place he wasn’t sure was the right place. It was a dark place and that didn’t settle well with Jungkook. It also was frustrating because he didn’t know how to approach it.

Feeling around for his phone that he had tossed on his bed, Jungkook grasped it and slid the lock screen off. Opening up his messages he saw that he had missed. Well… a lot. There were 23 messages from his hyung and more than half of them had been read but not responded to. It was mainly just questions about if he was alright. Truth was, he wasn’t and that isn’t what he wanted to reply with. He had found someone who was now integral to his life but he also had a person waiting for him that had been integral to his life. Fingers hovering over the keys, he typed out half a sentence then erased it. Sitting up suddenly he ran his fingers through his hair before leaving his bed. Grabbing his keys and wallet, he stuffed them in his pocket and trudged out of his apartment and down a very familiar path.

It took him four minutes and 26 seconds before he found the courage to knock on the door. It took another one in a half minutes before the door was pulled open to reveal someone who might as well be the owner but definitely wasn’t.

“Ah… Hoseok hyung.”

A taller man with raven mussed up locks looked down at the younger with a neutral but tired expression. They didn’t say anything for a moment and then the elder pulled the door open wider and stepped back, letting the younger in.

“He’s not here right now.”

Nodding, Jungkook stepped into the apartment that also might as well be his home considering how he was here ten times more than he was at his own. Following the other man they ended up in the kitchen and Hoseok was pulling out two cups like it was his own apartment. Knowing his place, Jungkook slipped onto the barstool and watched quietly as Hoseok made tea. He didn’t know what to say so he just kept quiet.

“No milk or cream right?”

“Uh.. yeah, that’s right.”

Neither one spoke while the tea was being prepared. The silence wasn’t awkward but introspective. They both were collecting their own thoughts and best way to approach the very big elephant in the room. As Hoseok poured the tea, he finally spoke up.

“Why are you here?”

The words were spoken quietly, gently. It wasn’t accusing just matter of fact. Nothing to be offended about and Jungkook wasn’t. He reached out for the cup of tea that was being pushed into his hands. Staring down into the golden liquid, he nibbled on his lip. It was a nervous tick he couldn’t get rid of. Why was he here? That was a good question.

“I-I’m not sure.”

Sigh.

He wanted to do that as well. Jungkook couldn’t bring him to raise his eyes, so instead he raised the cup to his lips and blew on the steaming hot liquid. Hoseok leaned against the opposite counter, cup in his left hand and his right hand shoved into the front pocket of his jeans.

“You can’t do this Jungkook. You have to be sure.”

Again, the words were soft, gently, even caring. The younger male raised his eyes and looked into his hyung’s eyes.

“Do.. do you kn- Oh… Of course you do.” The communication was silent but Jungkook could see it all in the expression that Hoseok was wearing. Of course Yoongi told him everything, bared his soul to the most appropriate person. His soulmate. If he was being honest with himself, Jungkook was jealous of their relationship. Not all the time just sometimes. There were moments, moments like these when he wished he could be that person for Yoongi but he couldn’t and he never would be. The two of them had been a source of insecurity for Jungkook for quite a long time. He had gotten over it but right now, with his own soulmate appearing somehow old insecurities are cropping back up.

Shifting from his position, Hoseok moved to the counter that the younger was occupying and rested his forearms on it, setting his cup down. Searching for Jungkook to look at him again. He waited until the younger did.

“I know enough. I felt enough. I know you love him Jungkook-ah but you can’t be unsure about this. Y-you have to know.” Hoseok faltered and looked away running his hand through his hair and sighing again. His index finger trailed around the rim of his cup.

“I don’t know… I don’t know if I can patch him up again.”

Jungkook was at a loss for words and sputtered, “B-but you’re his soulmate hyun-”

“It doesn’t matter, Jungkook! You didn’t see him the other night. You didn’t see him...” Hoseok pushed off the counter and walked away from Jungkook, the anger he had been hiding beneath the surface bubbled up but the elder put a lid back on it as soon as it started to leak. Turning back around.

“He’ll be home soon, if you need more time then you should go now.” The younger stumbled down from the stool and left his tea untouched. Not saying a word, his teeth dug into this bottom lip as he made his way for the door. As it creaked open he heard the other man speak again.

“And Jungkook-ah, I’m really glad that you found your soulmate.”

As the door closed behind him, he could see a small but genuine smile from his lovers soulmate.

More days passed without any contact from Jungkook and Hoseok refused to leave Yoongi’s apartment. If he was in a better mood, Yoongi would appreciate that his home wasn’t an utter pigsty, as well as the hot meals he was being provided. They both knew well enough that if Hoseok didn’t interfere that Yoongi wouldn’t be eating and he’d just be living off of water, energy drinks and his music. Hell, Yoongi wouldn’t even come home at night if it wasn’t for the youngers pestering that he needed proper rest or would get sick. His notification sound went off on his phone.

Hoseok-ah 3:21am:

Hyung if you aren’t home in 9 mins I’m calling the cops and reporting vandalism at your studio

Yoongi hyung 3:23am:

But u know nothing is broken

Hoseok-ah 3:23am:

That’s 8 min now.

Yoongi didn’t bother replying to the message but shoved the phone in the pocket of his black sweat pants and raised his arms above his head stretching. Unfortunately, he knew that Hoseok would really do such a thing if he didn’t abide by his rules. It had happened before, though luckily that time the officer was really good about it and just thought the person who had called had a little too much anxiety. Both were happy for the false alarm.

“Hyung, I made you a bath with those ridiculous bomb thingies you like so much.” The words floated through the air as soon as the door had opened.

“They’re bath bombs, Hobi.” He grumbled tiredly as he made his way to his bedroom and peeled off his clothes. He heard the ‘whatever’ that came from the younger but chose to ignore it. The water was still warm which was nice. He should really thank Hoseok later. Maybe take him out for korean beef? Probably. He owed his friend a lot. More than a lot really. Sinking into the relaxing bath, he closed his eyes and tried to do what he had been doing at the studio, not feel anything. Anxiety had been driving him crazy since Jungkook left. He was worried. It didn’t matter that the man was probably fine and cozying up to his soulmate, not a single word made his fingers and toes dance in a way that would lead him right to Jungkook’s door step. It already had, twice actually. Each time though he left without knocking.

It wasn’t his place to intrude on Jungkook’s space. He wouldn’t have left if he didn’t need it and even now Yoongi didn’t know how to go about talking with the younger. What he cared most about was the other's safety. Everything else could come after that. Feeling like he was being watched, Yoongi peeked out of one eye and found his friend perched on the end of his tub, chin resting on top of his hands.

“That’s creepy. If I was anyone else, they’d call you a stalker.” Closing his eye again, he tried to pretend that Hoseok was not staring at him. It didn’t really bother him, they were both so close anyway. However, that would never stop him from pretending otherwise. It also wouldn’t stop Hoseok from becoming even more gross, like he does.

“But it’s not because you loovveee me!” The whine and exaggeration could be heard a mile away. Yoongi’s nose scrunched up but he chose not to reply. A game they played frequently. The two men stayed in silence for a bit longer. That was until Yoongi realized the other wanted to tell him something but didn’t know how to say it. The ever slight churning in his stomach gave it away.

Opening his eyes lazily, he raised one eyebrow, “Spit it out. What’s up?”

Hoseok refocused and really looked at Yoongi who was very much staring directly at him. Sitting up he chewed on the inside of his cheek while still debating on if he should mention who he saw today or not. It took him a bit longer than Yoongi would have preferred and he felt his eye twitch in impatience however he would always let the other tell him when he was ready.

“I saw Jungkook today.”

An ambush of emotions flooded Hoseok but he had been prepared for it this time. They really didn’t need to communicate verbally right now. He could feel all of the worry mixing with relief, excitement with disappointment and a tiny hint of jealousy splashing around as well. Even without feeling the other's emotions, Hoseok had expected all of this. It was only logical, if they had switched places he expected to feel the same.

Yoongi grunted, rubbed his nose as he looked anywhere but at Hoseok. It was bad enough that the other knew exactly what he was feeling and he didn’t really have any privacy but he didn’t want Hoseok to see it too. One would think it wouldn’t matter but sometimes it did. The water felt cold now, it was lukewarm but it felt cold and Yoongi was ready to be done with the bath. It was a nice gesture but unfortunately those words doused any of the relaxation Yoongi was just experiencing moments ago.

“How is he? Is he okay? Is he hurt? No, no don’t answer that last one. Just tell me he’s okay.”

Moving closer, Hoseok slid across the floor and placed his hand over Yoongi’s wet elbow that was resting on the side of the tub now.

“He’s healthy.” Yoongi was already nodding before his friend had finished his sentence. That was what he wanted to hear and not what he wanted to hear all at the same time. Still relief flushed through his veins. It was what he cared about the most after all.

“He uh, he came here hyung but I sent him away.”

Whiplash is what Yoongi should have right now with how fast he turned his head towards Hoseok.

“Why? Why would you do that?!” The anger rising in him laced his words like an old friend and Hoseok didn’t flinch. He had expected this reaction, it was never fun but expected nonetheless. Squeezing Yoongi’s arm, he tried to get his friend to understand him. Pleading with his eyes for the other to calm and find reason.

“He was confused hyung. It won’t help either of you to see each other like that.” Yoongi pulled his arm away from Hoseok and looked past the younger man. He let out a huff and then a sigh. Sitting up straighter, he placed his hands on either side of the bathtub.

“Let me get dressed.” He grumbled before finally standing up and watching the other man leave him to some privacy. Taking his time, Yoongi dried himself off, pulled on a pair of old boxers and a band t-shirt he got ages ago, it even had some holes in it. Brushing his teeth he thought about what Hoseok had told him. He needed more information but he also knew he needed to keep a level head. It was so hard for him to do when it came to his boyfriend.

Boyfriend…

Was Jungkook still his boyfriend?

God, he hoped so. He really, really wasn’t ready to let go of the man. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to. Just thinking about it made his heart hurt and he found himself closed fist hitting it over his chest. As if distraction would make what he’s feeling go away. It didn’t. Ah, Hoseok… he needed to stop thinking like this.

Walking out of his bedroom, he found Hoseok lounging on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table in front of it.

“Sorry, Hoseok-ah.” The words were a soft grumble but the other heard him and flashed him a smile.

“No worries. I’m counting the days until it’s your end to experience it.”

This actually caused Yoongi to laugh a little. Taking a seat next to Hoseok, he punched the man in the arm.

“Brat.”

Hoseok laughed with him before growing serious again. They needed to finish the conversation they had started and really the sooner the better. He reached for Yoongi’s hand and held it in his own.

“I can’t tell you much hyung but just give him some time.”

“Some time? It’s been weeks!”

The frustration that Yoongi was trying to reign in was hard. He couldn’t help but be upset that he missed his chance to see Jungkook again, to hear his voice, to maybe, potentially feel his touch. It made him ache even more than he already was. Hoseok just squeezed his hand tighter.

“Hyung… Come on.”

“I know. I know. Ugh, just, I miss him and I know I shouldn’t be upset but I am. You saw him and I didn’t.” A smile was threatening to break through Hoseok’s defense. So much so that he had to bite on his cheek to stop it from doing so. Yoongi was already eyeing him warily though.

“Just laugh, I’m pathetic I know.”

Being given permission just allowed for a few short giggles to slip through but right after Hoseok interlaced their fingers.

“No, no. You’re not pathetic. It’s just cute. Really cute. Grumpy, standoffish, no PDA Min Yoongi is all pouty and whiny. You’re cute.” A few more chuckles escaped and it was met with a glare from the elder. A glare that certainly didn’t phase the younger anymore. However, Yoongi kept his hand just where it was.

“Where’s your phone?”

Yoongi raised a brow, “My phone?” he was confused as to what his friend would want with that. Hoseok stood up and looked around the apartment he had cleaned earlier.

“Yeah, your phone. Let’s text him, huh?”

Yoongi was answering before fully processed the second part of what Hoseok had said to him.

“I don’t know, in my room? Wait what?” He was left alone on the couch as the younger walked off to find his phone only to return a moment later with a still very cautious Yoongi on the couch. Sitting back down next to Yoongi, neither paid attention to their thighs touching. Holding his phone out to the rightful owner, Hoseok nodded encouragingly.

“Yeah, I know you’ve been dying to do so. He knows that I’m going to tell you he was here so it’s an open invitation for you to say something. Just you know, uh, let him know you’re thinking about him.” Slowly, Yoongi accepted the phone but only stared at it blankly after his fingers had somehow found their way to his chat with Jungkook.

“I-I don’t know, it’s almost four in the morning now. He’s probably asleep. I don’t want to wake him.”

He was stalling, they both knew this. Hoseok clucked his teeth and shook his head in disapproval before swiftly taking the phone back in his hand and typing for him.

“Yah! Yah! What do you think you’re doing?!” Immediately, Yoongi snatched it back and saw some gross message with too many emojis and kissy emojis at that. A devious grin was plastered over Hoseok’s face.

“Oh come on, you know I wouldn’t send that actually! Give it back. I’ll be serious now.” Snatching the phone back, he looked at the screen one more and both of his eyes widened immensely. Hoseok set the phone down on Yoongi’s thigh and looked down at his hands that he placed in his lap like his mother had sat him in timeout. Yoongi looked at the phone then at Hoseok.

“What. Did. You. Do.” It wasn’t a question and the both of them knew what had just happened but of course it needed to be confirmed by Yoongi’s own eyes. Picking up his phone he swiped open the lock screen and saw the same exact sentence that Hoseok had jokingly typed with all seven emojis sent to his precious Jungkook and even worse it was read.

Yoongi <3 4:12am:

Jungkookie I can’t stop thinking about you. I misss you and love you sooo much

Wiping his eyes, Jungkook tried to look at his much too bright phone screen and cursed before promptly lowering the brightness to almost nonexistent. Blinking a few more times he tried to read the message that he had gotten. It hadn’t actually woken him up. He had been tossing and turning for hours, having horrible dreams in the few moments he could actually fall asleep. Regardless his room was pitch black and the bright light was not welcome.

Reading the message for the second time was a much bigger success but his brow furrowed together.

“What the hell?!” His hoarse voice croaked out. Staring at his screen even harder, Jungkook read it for the third time. The sentence remained the same. There was no denying that this rather mushy and kind of gross message did indeed come from Yoongi. How many emojis is that?

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,...7? Is he drunk?!”

Rubbing his eyes, Jungkook groaned as his stomach started to churn. His mind couldn’t make sense of this message because it wasn’t like his hyung at all. Yoongi was crap at texting and he was even more crap about being affection through words let alone text and he most certainly didn’t use emojis. Being drunk was the only thing that made sense. If he was drunk at 4am, which sadly isn’t out of the realm for him, well being awake that late anyway. If he was drunk now then it made Jungkook worry. The longer he laid there thinking about it the larger the stone in the pit of his stomach grew. Surely Hoseok was with him and was watching him.

But what if he wasn’t?

What if Yoongi was alone and drinking by himself. Oh god, he wasn’t walking down the streets of Seoul right now was he? Those clubs raged for hours and some even stayed open until 4am. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

No matter what their issues were, Jungkook never wanted Yoongi to be in a dangerous situation like this possible one. He picked up his phone and text back a quick,

Jungkook-ah 4:17am:

Are you drunk?

By now he was pretty wide awake, leg bouncing as he waited for a reply that was never coming. After another six minutes, he picked up his phone and called. It rang and rang and rang and rang. No answer.

“Shit.”

Tossing aside his covers, Jungkook through on the nearest clothes he had which were his sweaty dance attire from earlier that night. They smelled horribly of sweat. Just a pair of grey sweats and a large white t-shirt. He ignored how disgusting he was sure to feel later and shoved his feet into his timberlands at the door as he grabbed his keys and rushed out the door. He had even forgotten his wallet.

Honestly, he was praying that he wouldn’t have to wander around Seoul to find Yoongi but he called again and still received no answer. It was so frustrating. Making his way hurriedly through the empty streets, he was really glad that it wasn’t earlier and people would be able to see and potentially recognize him. Recognition was was a rare occurrence but knowing his luck, it would happen today of all days if it wasn’t 4:40 in the morning.

Trying the doorknob he turned it easily and was instantly annoyed, that man never locked his damn door. It had annoyed him before in their relationship and it still does. Jungkook’s heart was beating so loud the closer he got to finding Yoongi that he didn’t even hear the grunting noises coming from the living room. The scene his eyes laid upon though was nothing like he had anticipated.

Yoongi and Hoseok were a tangle of limbs, Yoongi pinning the other to the floor and making a grunt here and there at the energy he was having to expend to do this.

“Ah, Yoongi”

“What? Yoongi? Do I have to teach you again about ugh manners, Hoseok-ah?!”

Neither of the men on the living room floor noticed the intruder. He stood by quietly watching the two wrestle? Were they wrestling? Honestly, Jungkook had no idea what he was watching but his annoyance was building the longer he stood there. He didn’t even have any words but finally, Hoseok was able to move his head to the left enough to spot the other man in the room. He let out a squeak that neither Jungkook nor Yoongi had ever heard before.

“What the-”

“Jungkook-ah,”

Yoongi continued to keep Hoseok pinned to the ground and stared at him like he was crazy.

“As if I’ll fall for that. Now, stay still so I can, ugh-”

“Don’t mind me, just let him continue whatever,” Jungkook waved his arm around at the two of them. “He’s doing.”

Jungkook wasn’t sure he had ever seen Yoongi move that quick before. It wasn’t because his hyung was slow or anything, this was just new. The elder rolled off of Hoseok and stared up at his lover from the floor. The brunette’s lips were pressed in a tight line as he stared down at the two of them. He raised an arm and gave a clipped wave at Yoongi.

“Glad to see you aren’t stumbling around the streets with a bottle in your hand. I’m going home.��� Scrambling to his feet, Yoongi moved to stop the younger. His anxiety had his stomach and knots and by default, Hoseok as well. Words floated across the air, they were meant for only Yoongi’s ears but Jungkook heard as well.

“Calm down hyung.”

“Sorry, Hoseok-ah.”

Why this irked Jungkook so much right now he couldn’t say. He had experienced the way they communicated for years now. This wasn’t anything new but it bothered him. It bothered him more than he wanted. A Justin Beiber song broke the tense atmosphere between all of them and Jungkook reached into his pocket to pull out his phone. Reading the name across the screen, he sighed in exasperation. How could he forget that he had his soulmate and of course they would know he was upset right now. How did one reign this shit in? Well, clearly not very easily judging by the words he had just heard.

“Hey, Jimin hyung.” He said with a tenderness, Yoongi hadn’t heard before, as he placed the phone against his ear. The volume was so loud, or the person on the other end was so loud that Yoongi could hear what was being said.

“Jungkookie, are you okay? What’s wrong. Where are you?”

It was a rush of shrill, worried words and somehow it soothed Jungkook. The corners of his lips turned up in a small smile.

“I’m fine hyung. I promise. Mhmm, yeah just uh go back to bed. I’m sorry I woke you. Yeah, tomorrow. Mhmm, we’ll talk tomorrow. Yes, hyung. I promise. Jimin-ah! Go to bed.”

A chuckle, a chuckle that Yoongi hadn’t heard in so long, so long. But it was for someone else. For his soulmate. It hurt. His chest hurt. He couldn’t keep his fears from manifesting and plaguing him. Silently, he apologized to Hoseok who had snuck off to another room. Probably the guest room.

Another moment and the phone call ended and the phone slipped back into Jungkook’s pocket. Glancing up at Yoongi who was only a few steps away from him Jungkook didn’t say anything. The two just stared at each other. There were so many words that needed to be said but neither knew where to start. Scratching the back of his neck, Yoongi coughed and cleared his throat.

“Look, uh, I’m sure you saw that text. It was just Hobi messing around. It wasn’t supposed to be sent. I mean who uses seven damn emojis.” He was rambling and Jungkook just stared at him unimpressed.

“I see. Well, tell him not to do dumb shit. I thought you were drunk and alone. My mistake.”

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but he wasn’t expecting Jungkook to be so cold. Yoongi knew that it was his fault for waking him up at four in the morning but… He didn’t know. Maybe he hurt Jungkook more than he thought he did. Maybe Jungkook realized all that he was missing with his soulmate and didn’t want to be bothered anymore. Maybe Jungkook just realized he was playing house with Yoongi and it would never amount to what he felt for his soulmate.

Jungkook turned away and started walking towards the door. Yoongi immediately followed, not too close but he followed. He would follow the man in front of him to the ends of the earth and back. Now he knew just how much it hurt to not have that feeling reciprocated.

“I’m sorry for not telling you.”

They both knew what he was talking about.

I’m sorry for not telling you that you were feeling your soulmate. I’m sorry for not explaining it. I’m sorry for not encouraging you. I’m sorry I just didn’t want to lose you.

They were all unspoken but still heard.

“I’m sorry too.”

I’m sorry you didn’t have faith in me. I’m sorry you were overcome with your fear. I’m sorry I didn’t make you feel more secure so that you could tell me. I’m sorry I left.

The full meaning was hard to pass to the other but Jungkook prayed his hyung could hear it. Placing his hand on the doorknob, he hesitated but nothing passed between them and he opened it.

“Hoseok said something gross but…”

Jungkook was stuck between the fresh air outside and the cool air of the a/c as he waited, always waited for Yoongi to finish what he was saying.

“Jungkook-ah, I’m glad you found your soulmate.”

Those were unexpected words. They were unexpected from both the man leaving and the one staying. They were unexpected but true. They were unexpected and they hurt. It hurt so much more than Jungkook had ever thought hearing those words from Yoongi would. Furrowing his brow, he glanced back at Yoongi and saw a small but genuine smile on the others face and it hurt even more. It was the same smile Hoseok had given him when he had been here last. What Jungkook didn’t notice was the sadness behind Yoongi’s eyes.

“Ah, yeah.”

The door shut heavy behind Jungkook and in Yoongi’s face for the second time. Neither went to bed with a light heart. Neither went to bed with smiles on their faces. Neither went to bed easily. While Jungkook tossed and turned by himself, Yoongi slept fitfully with Hoseok running his fingers through the others hair, trying to soothe him as much as possible.

Hoseok-ah 1:34pm:

It’s your fault I went to work with six bags under my eyes and a stiff neck. You owe me pizza.

Yoongi hyung 4:42pm:

I don’t owe you shit.

Yoongi hyung 4:43pm:

Meat lovers or Hawaiian?

Hoseok snickered from a small plastic chair in the waiting room. Yoongi always liked to play a grump but he was really soft. Laughing a bit louder, he almost fell out of the child’s hair he was sitting on. It was a close call but a little girl who was probably about seven or eight, grabbed onto his arm.

“Be careful.” she shyly told him before going to the other side of the table and taking out a coloring book from her backpack. Hoseok was a little embarrassed but he smiled brightly at her and thanked her before shooting Yoongi a quick reply that he was bringing a friend over too,

“Ahjusshi, why are you sitting here anyway, the big chairs are over there?” She had her crayons out by then and was starting to color a half colored picture.

“A-ahjusshi?! I’m your oppa! Oppa…” Glancing up the little girl giggled but nodded.

“This side is more fun, don’t you think?” Her crayon moved back and forth over the page while she thought about what he said. Grinning, she nodded again.

“Okay...oppa.” A bright grin broke over his face.

“Oy Hoseok hyung!” Snapping his head to the left, Hoseok saw that his friend was calling him. Scrambling up he tripped over his feet and knocked the chair over. The little girl was giggling at him again and he flashed her one more smile before fixing the chair and walking over to the front desk. A mob of kids rushed out of one of the room and he almost got mauled down. They were intense but he couldn’t help but smile at them.

“Ready, Taehyung-ah?” He asked to the mop of caramelized haired boy in front of him.

“Almost. His class is just ending.”

Hoseok’s phone buzzed again,

Yoongi hyung 4:52pm:

Who?

Hoseok-ah 4:52pm:

You’ll seeee ;)

Pocketing his phone, Hoseok ignored the sure to be cursing Min Yoongi for his brattiness. Pleased with himself, he leaned his arm on Taehyung’s shoulder even though the boy was taller than him. Taehyung was waiting patiently, eyes peeled on the door that had just opened. A moment later, a shorter male with really defined biceps walked out, some sweat gracing his brow. He bowed his head slightly to a few parents who stopped to say a few things to him and then his eyes found his friends.

“Tae!” The other male called excitedly and Hoseok’s friend boxy smile made it’s appearance. Pinching his friend on the arm.

“Where have you been hiding the hottie calling your name?” Taehyung turned his head towards Hoseok and wiggled his brows.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Then he dropped Hoseok’s arm of him and rushed over to the so-called hottie. Hoseok hung back and watched the exchange. Taehyung pretending the hottie smelled back, the hottie smacking Taehyung in the chest and acting offended only for them to break out into giggles half a second later. Hoseok was entranced and he thought he could watch the other from afar forever.

“Hyung,” A familiar voice entered the room and Hoseok forced himself to tear his eyes away from the angel only to be surprised. Jeon Jungkook? He watched as the male approached Taehyung and the angel. Hoseok also watched just how the angel’s eyes lit up when he saw Jungkook. Ahh… He never thought in a million years that he would come across Jungkook’s soulmate so casually. Small world. Really small.

Keeping quiet, he watched how the two interacted, it was like seeing a mirror of him and Yoongi. They were puzzle pieces that fit so well. He was slightly disappointed since he had made plans to hit on the other man but it was what it was. A part of him was glad that Yoongi hadn’t met Jungkook’s soulmate. He would be jealous in general but even more so since the man was stunning. Anyone would fear that Jungkook would fall out of love with them and into the arms of the person that… well, that he was meant to be with.

Funny, how his heart hurt for someone else. For his own soulmate.

“Hoseokie!” Hearing his name being called, he snapped out of his own haze and walked over with a polite smile on his face. Propping his arm back on Taehyung’s shoulder he nodded to them all. His eyes lingering on the angel’s face for longer than necessary before looking at the person he had just seen at an odd hour of the night. Hoseok missed the light blush that presented itself on the angel’s cheeks.

“Hey Jungkook.”

The tightness from that night was back in Jungkook’s face. He was polite though, smiling tersely, he greeted Hoseok.

“Hi hyung.”

It wasn’t hard for Hoseok to see how the air shifted between the two and the angel’s hand reached towards Jungkook’s, his pinky connecting with the other males. Comfort. It was something they did best. Raising his eyes back at Jungkook, he saw how the man relaxed even if just slightly.

“I didn’t know you knew Jungkookie. Do you know Jimin too then?” Looking back towards Taehyung, Hoseok shook his head no.

“Unfortunately, I haven’t had the pleasure to meet him.” Training his eyes back on the angel who now had a name he smiled brightly. Jimin couldn’t meet his eyes for more than half a second before he was glancing at the ground and then back up with a shy smile.

“Hi, I’m Jimin. I work with Jungkookie here and Tae is my new roommate.” He sounded very chipper and Hoseok wished he could listen to him talk some more.

“Got any plans tonight? Hobi and I are about to get some food. Yoongi’s paying right?!” Taehyung nudged Hoseok for confirmation. He nodded and smirked devilishly,

“Yep, pizza. He owes me but we should pick up some beer on the way back. You’re welcome to join.” If Taehyung hadn’t already offered an invitation even if it wasn’t quite as blunt, Hoseok wouldn’t have offered. Unfortunately, Taehyung didn’t know what was going on between the lovebirds and it was only natural that he extended the offer to Yoongi’s longtime boyfriend and friend.

“Really?!” Jimin’s eyes sparkled in excitement at the invite but Jungkook cut in before he could say anything more.

“Sorry, I have another class.” Jimin innocently turned towards Jungkook and quirked his head in question,

“But Kookie it’s Wednesday and you do-”

A sharp tug on his pinky and Jimin finally got the hint.

“Oh, oh, yeah. The new class you added. Ah, I forgot.” Taehyung reached for Jimin’s other hand with both of his and swung the arm back and forth.

“That sucks that you can’t come but Jiminie you can come right? Right?!” The puppy eyes that were being trained on the angel almost had him cracking but Jimin shook his head.

“Sorry TaeTae, I’m still training so I need to shadow the next class.” Immediately after, Taehyung started pouting. It was the most ridiculous pout Hoseok had ever seen. Smacking him on the back,

“Come on, they’re busy. Let’s go grab beer before Yoongi really turns into a grump. I’m sure he’s been moping all day as it is.”

There was no hiding the fact that he had sad that last bit for Jungkook to hear. It wasn’t a lie either. For the few hours Yoongi had been up, Hoseok was positive that the man moped the majority of it.

“It was nice meeting you Jimin-sshi. Let’s hang out next time. Bye Jungkook, good luck with your class.” He waved at the both of them, dragging a Taehyung behind him only to have the angel rush up to them right before they made it to the door.

“Tae, I need the key.”

Fumbling in his pocket, Taehyung found the entire reason he had stopped by the dance studio in the first place. Pulling it out along with a gum wrapper he handed both to Jimin.

“Keep the change.” Jimin looked down into his hand and huffed in annoyance.

“Get out.” He swatted at his roommate and Hoseok made note of how adorably small Jimin’s hands were. Maybe he should pick up a second job. He had more than enough dance experience.

Poking the taller man’s side, Jimin silently asked the other to speak up. Jungkook stopped picking up his towel from the floor and looked behind him. He exhaled a long sigh and took a seat on the floor of the studio.

“Why did you make me lie? It’s Wednesday, we close early on Wednesdays.” Jimin asked as he took a seat next to the younger male.

“Hyung… Did you miss whose place they were going over to?” Jungkook looked at Jimin as if he should know this answer. Wracking his brain for a name, Jimin tried to think of who was mentioned but all he could see was Hoseok’s heart shaped smile in his mind and instead he began to smile too.

“Ugh, hyung! Why are you smiling so creepily.” Ears tinging pink, Jimin snapped out of it and erased the smile asap.

“W-what are you talking about?”

“Oh no.. Don’t tell me… Ew, seriously? Don’t tell me you have a crush on Tae now?! You promised that wasn’t going to happen.” Jungkook shoved Jimin away from him.

“Didn’t we talk about what happened with your last roommate. You don’t want a repea-”

“Jeon Jungkook! Who would like that oddball? Hoseok is much more attractive.” The shock resonated around the room from both boys. Jimin was flushing as dark as a tomato now, he hadn’t meant to say that much and Jungkook was just...welll, shocked.

“Hoseok hyung? Huh…” He tutted while raising a brow at the shorter male next to him. Patting Jimin’s arm in sympathy and understanding, Jungkook spoke again.

“It’s okay, I thought the same thing when I first met Hoseok but you haven’t gotten to know him yet. That will disappear soon enough.” Jimin scowled at the younger but let it go because he didn’t want the spotlight on him anymore. Laying down he rested his head in Jungkook’s lap and moved the younger’s hand into his hair. It garnered a small chuckle from Jungkook but he appeased his hyung and played with his hair.

“So, whose house are they going to?”

“Yoongi hyung’s.” A sadness seeped out and Jimin didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. Everything was understood. All too well, everything was understood.

Two six packs in, three pizza’s demolished, Yoongi relaxed against the arm of his couch watching Hoseok and Taehyung hurl insults at the other as they played street fighter on the PS4. It was a good night. A good distraction. Taehyung was always a wild card but in a good way. Yoongi liked to grumble but he had a soft spot for the kid even if it wasn’t shown all that often.

“Hyung, I’m about to crush this loser over here. You have to play me next!” Taehyung spoke excitedly as he smashed some buttons that were supposed to be a combo but half the time Yoongi just thought Tae was hitting whatever buttons he could with no real strategy.

“Sure, sure, if you win.” The younger whooped, as he hadn’t been able to get Yoongi to play with him a single round so far. Which made sense, Yoongi often preferred to watch from the sidelines and when he did jump in, he could get really really competitive.

“Oh hyung.”

“Hmm?”

“We saw Jungkook today. It’s a shame you weren’t with us. It was after his class and I know how you like to ogle him while he’s all sweaty.” Taehyung was snickering to himself but unfortunately he couldn’t tell how the mood had shifted. He was too enthralled in the game and Hoseok lost his edge immediately. A few seconds later, it was a KO and Taehyung won.

The boy jumped up, whooped and ran around the couch before plopping right back down in his spot and tossing Hoseok’s controller up to Yoongi, eyes glued on the screen again. Hoseok looked over at Yoongi but kept quiet. Pushing everything to the back of his mind, Yoongi grasped the controller and focused on the screen.

Taehyung lost three times in a row. Yoongi had a smug smile. Hoseok was content with the evening.

Jungkook-ah 11:37pm:

I miss you (unsent)

The days flew by and it was the weekend before Jungkook realized it. He had been spending a lot of time at Jimin and Taehyung’s place. He didn’t like going home but he didn’t want to think about that. Jimin didn’t mind and Taehyung didn’t really seem to notice anything odd. Or if he did, he kept his mouth shut about it. Jimin had spent the previous day trying to tell Jungkook that he needed to talk with Yoongi. Whether it was to end things or make up, it needed to be figured out. This only upset the younger and immediately after, Jimin tried to placate him instead. They both weren’t used to this soulmate, feeling each others feelings thing. It was hard getting used to how hurting your soulmate hurt you ten-fold. An uppercut and a sucker punch directly after. It was a bitch.

Taehyung was throwing clothes at Jungkook, as the other male just stood there letting the clothes that hit him in the face fall to the floor. His eyes were glowing with daggers but Kim Taehyung seemed to be oblivious to everything.

“Yah! Kim Taehyung!” He finally had enough, the other stopped turning around and just laughed.

“I told you, we’re going out and you’re wearing those clothes. Put it on. Yelling at me gets you nowhere.” Taehyung chuckled some more and picked up the black ripped skinny jeans and pressed them against Jungkook’s chest.

Pinching a cheek, he sweetly said, “Get moving sweet cheeks.” as he walked past, Taehyung slapped the younger’s firm butt cheek. Jungkook dropped the clothes again and stormed after Taehyung, picking up over his shoulder and slamming him down on the elders bed. He huffed, glaring at a still laughing Taehyung.

“Fine!”

Rolling out of his bed, Taehyung went over to pester Jimin. Pester was a lie, he went to tell Jimin nicely to get dressed they were going out. He even so kindly hinted at meeting some attractive people. As for who, of course he wasn’t going to tell.

Stirring his drink for the umpteenth time, Yoongi looked around the nightclub and sighed. What was he doing here? Oh right, Hoseok had beat him at rock paper scissors and now he was forced to be in this crowded, loud night club. He didn’t dance so why would he go to a night club? He wasn’t single… or was he? It sure felt like he was single. A small part of him was hoping that he wasn’t but what else would you call this? Sighing again, he picked up his drink and downed it all in one go.

A hand clapped his back,

“Whoa there cowboy. It’s too early to be downing our drinks like that.” A deep voice spoke over all of the music and chatter of the joint they were in. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he looked at the silver haired man who could be none other than Namjoon.

“Cowboy? Have you been out of the country for too long?” He scoffed and waved the bartender over for another as well as a shot of patron for his friend. Namjoon laughed and leaned against the bar.

“Maybe I have. You look good tonight hyung. Is that...eyeliner? Hah, how did Hobi rope you into that?!” Yoongi smacked the finger away that was pointing at his eyes. He was about to wonder how the guy even noticed but he was on the brighter side of the bar so maybe that was enough.

“Your fault you dick.” He grumbled and it only made Namjoon laugh even more. Hoseok had truly conned Yoongi into this night because they hadn't seen Namjoon since he returned from the states. Some big business deal he had to fly over there for like six months. It had been too long. They needed to get out and somewhere down the road he had been coaxed into actually dressing like he cared. If ripped jeans, a slightly more form fitting white shirt and a leather jacket was caring.

It was.

Why? To hell if he knew.

It wasn’t long before he lost another bet and was pulled onto the dance floor. Seriously, what the hell, were the gods against him or something. Yoongi made sure to take another shot right before he was forced on the floor though.

“Hyung looks like he’s having fun.” Namjoon yelled over the crowd to Hoseok who was next to him at the edge of the dance floor. They both watched Yoongi in the thick of things with some girl who had managed to sidle up to Yoongi.

“He really needs it. This breakup has been harsh.” Hoseok had never said those words before and it felt odd to say it but what else did you call it. Namjoon’s eyes widened.

“Shit, Hobi. I missed a lot while I was gone.” They both nodded, eyes glued on Yoongi happy that he had finally just let himself loose. Setting his empty glass down, Hoseok slipped into the throngs of bumping bodies and danced circles around most but he wasn’t dancing for them anyway.

“Three Red Headed Sluts.” Taehyung called to the bartender with three fingers raised. Both Jungkook and Jimin judged the other hard. It took him a moment but Taehyung looked from his left to his right.

“What?! Don’t knock it until you try it.”

Ignoring their lame asses, Taehyung pulled out his credit card and slid it across the bar.

“Keep it open.” Passing out their shots, he raised his up to cheers with them. Jimin and Jungkook exchanged a look but raised their glasses and knocked it back. Jungkook refused to admit it but the shot wasn’t that bad at all. He even ordered another without letting Taehyung see. He’d never live it down if the other male had found out.

They knocked back a couple more drinks at the bar before Jimin caught his roommate roaming the crowd like he had a purpose.

“Who you looking for?” Jimin leaned head against the taller boys shoulder in an attempt to be looking from the same angle. He didn’t see anyone that particularly stood out. Though, the place was packed as it was a Friday night.

“Just a hyung. He mentioned he might be here tonight, it's been awhile since I last saw him. A grin flashed over his face. Taking the last swig of his Dirty Shirley, Taehyung pushed off of the bar.

“Let go dance, it’s ready for us now.” he called behind him already on the move.

Jungkook and Jimin exchanged looks before finishing up their drinks and following suit. Jungkook calling to his hyung that was far ahead of him,

“It’s never ready for us.” He couldn’t deny that after two drinks and two shots he was feeling pretty good. He wasn’t sure why he had been dreading coming to this club in the first place. It wasn’t that bad at all. Especially not since they had mostly been left alone. There were a few girls here and there that had eyed them but been too shy to approach, instead trying to invite them with their eyes. To which they had all ignored, for now. Who knew how the end of the night would turn out.

By the time Jimin and Jungkook made it down to the dance floor, Taehyung had found Namjoon and was laughing loudly at whatever had been said by the man. The other two stopped by the edge of the dance floor watching Taehyung and Namjoon. Jimin leaned in to Jungkook so he could speak easier over the music.

“Who is Tae with?”

“Ah, Kim Namjoon. I don’t know him that well but they’re friends.” Jungkook filled in his hyung while turning his eyes away from two who looked like they were in their own world and roamed over the dance floor. That was until Jimin grabbed Jungkook’s arm suddenly. His eyes were much brighter than a few moments ago.

“I’m going to go dance with someone. I’ll be back.” He looked at Jimin but didn’t question just nodded to him, sending him off. Jimin flashed him a smile and then wiggled his way through the crowd. Jungkook followed him with his eyes and soon found out why he had just been ditched.

Jung Hoseok.

He couldn’t help but laugh, it wasn’t long before Jimin had garnered Hoseok’s attention and the two began to actually dance with each other and not whoever Hoseok had previously been dancing with just a moment ago. Oh, Park Jimin, you’re not going to live this down later. Jungkook started to dance his way along the dance floor. Trying to find a spot he wanted to claim as his own. He managed to dance his way away from someone who was a little to free with their hands. Only to find his gaze land on someone he could never mistake for anyone else.

Those raven locks now had blue streaked throughout, he wouldn’t have even noticed it if the lights in the club hadn’t spun across his hair for a moment. A leather jacket, no the leather jacket that Jungkook had refused to tell Yoongi if it looked good on him or not. Simply because it made the male look so devilishly good that he wanted to jump his bones right there. He was glad he couldn’t see what type of goddamn it! A body moved and now he could see just how well those jeans hugged his ass.

Jungkook sucked in a breath, this was not how the night was supposed to go. He wasn’t supposed to be thinking about Min Yoongi. He wasn’t supposed to be seeing him and he most definitely wasn’t supposed to wanting to pin the man to the nearest wall. It didn’t last long though, Yoongi wasn’t alone. Which made sense, Yoongi didn’t dance. No, he never danced unless he had a partner and that partner had to drag him onto the dance floor or he was beyond wasted.

Long black silky hair flipped past and Jungkook saw her. Min Yoongi had a partner and despite what Jungkook wanted to say, she was cute. She was really cute. Moving closer, he eyed the too of them noticing each movement of Yoongi’s hands sliding along her hips. The way she would bend forward slightly to rub her ass against his crotch and each smile. Each and every smile she was giving him. There were too many. Jealousy was flaring and he was sure that Jimin could feel it but maybe the alcohol and good time the other was having would dull it.

Jungkook was too preoccupied to care. He couldn’t get his eyes to leave and before he knew it, he had danced his way with one fool after another over to Yoongi. He accidentally bumped into the elder, but didn’t even get a glance his way, so Jungkook did it again. Still nothing, which only fueled his annoyance even more. This time he slid his hand against Yoongi’s which was daring since the girl clearly had her arms around his neck.

It worked.

His favorite coal colored eyes were on him and they didn’t leave. Both continued to move their bodies with the music but their eyes only gazed at each other. Jungkook’s were lit with a fire he didn’t bother hiding and Yoongi was surprised not sure he was seeing things properly. Then Yoongi broke the gaze so he could check out the other from head to toe and back up. His tongue ran across his bottom lip unconsciously. Jungkook moved even closer and Yoongi was removing the girl's arms from around him turning completely towards the one and only person he’s been longing for, for weeks.

Yoongi’s hands reached for Jungkook’s hips and pulled him against him, the two moving their bodies to their own rhythm. It was still in time with the music but no one was quite synced just as the two of them were. Words weren’t exchanged, it was too loud to talk even if they wanted to. Jungkook ran his hand through Yoongi’s hair, curling his fingers and tugging on it. His hips grinding against the other, his eyes full of desire not wavering. Yoongi’s hand slid up Jungkook’s chest to his neck, fingers gripping his chin but hesitating. The younger didn’t though, he rushed in lips against the other.

The kiss wasn’t magical, it was hard, caution to the wind and intoxicating. There was no asking for asking just intruding but is it truly intruding when you were welcome all along? Yoongi’s mouth welcomed him back enthusiastically and kissed him back just as rushed, impatient, wanting to swallow all of him. Greedy, it was so greedy. Jungkook’s hand slid up underneath the shirt Yoongi was wearing, dying to feel skin on skin, it was so warm, growing hotter with each passing moment. He yanked on Yoongi’s hair again causing the man to growl and bite none too gently on his bottom lip before sucking on it between his teeth. Jungkook ran his fingernails down the other's back, while rolling his hips over and over against his hyung. When their lips finally pulled apart it was curses that was leaving them.

“Fuck..Fuck Jungkook.”

This time Yoongi dove in, kissing the other as if he hadn’t seen him in years. That was what it felt like. Separating from each other didn’t seem like a viable option. Of course they had to and sooner rather than later. If they didn’t they might just make a spectacle of themselves on the dance floor and really put on a show. Jungkook pull back staring into Yoongi’s eyes.

“Don’t dance with anyone else again.” He yanked on the elders hair and he had to bite back a moan.

“Got it?” The harshness and possessiveness of the youngers words made Yoongi shiver in need. He pulled Jungkook in for another kiss, nipping at his lip before licking along it.

“Got it.” He muttered in between kisses. It wasn’t often that he let Jungkook boss him around but every now and then. Every now and then it was welcome and really, really, hot. Jungkook slid his hand into Yoongi’s and pulled him out of the throng of people. He didn’t even see that the both of them had brushed completely by Jimin and Hoseok who had been witness to everything emotionally and may or may not had spurred the two of them on in an intense and much too fast kind of way.

Pulling apart Jimin was pink from head to foot but thankfully you couldn’t tell with the dimness of the club. Running his hand through his hair, he looked off to the side.

“I need a drink.” Hoseok grinned at the words the other had meant to mumble.

“You read my mind.” He said loudly over the crowd and pulled Jimin towards the bar.

The cab ride to surprisingly, Jungkook’s apartment was a blur. It was a mess of hands on thigh and neck kisses, nervous glances at the cabbie who was just praying the two wouldn’t get busy in the back of his vehicle. He didn’t even care that he almost didn’t get paid for the ride. Bills were tossed up front and the man didn’t even bother counting it just zoomed off before they could get back in if they made a mistake.

They didn’t. The hallway, elevator and walk to his front door was a mixture of kisses, moans and giggles with hushed nothings in each others ear. It took Jungkook four tries to unlock his door, mainly because Yoongi wouldn’t stop sucking on his earlobe and it was so damn distracting. The two stumbled through the door only to end up with Yoong’s back flat against the door and Jungkook getting him back with an attack on his neck while simultaneously shedding the elder of his leather jacket. Pushing the younger off, the two slowly made their way, each piece of clothing coming off as they made their way through the apartment. Pit stops were made, mainly against the kitchen table which Yoongi very proudly bent Jungkook over and removed his pants, and the back of the couch where Jungkook practically shoved Yoongi onto. It took awhile but they finally made it to the bedroom with maybe a sock or two on. With Jungkook spread underneath him, reaching for Yoongi,

“Yoongi-yah, I need you. Right here. Right now.”

He properly devoured him at his request.

Sunlight found its way across the bedsheets and Jungkook snuggled further into what felt like someone's neck. Of course it couldn’t be someone’s neck because he had been sleeping alone for weeks now. Dreams were the best. He didn’t want to wake up. It felt like one of those moments when you were half awake but still half dreaming and if you just snuggled harder you could fall right back into that dream without much interruption. Jungkook did that.

About a hour later, the man opened his eyes just to promptly close them again and pull the covers up over his head. It took another five minutes before he let go of the blanket and sighed at the morning that was awaiting him. He couldn’t help himself but rolled his head over to the left and saw that no one was there. Groaning, he had a dull headache. It would go away with a couple of pills he was sure.

Reaching his arm towards the nightstand he felt around for his phone but couldn’t find anything. Rolling over he looked and saw nothing, maybe it’s on the floor? Jungkook leaned over the bed and didn’t see his phone. What the hell did he do with it last night? He couldn’t recall. Sitting up he looked down and realized he was naked. If he was naked and alone in his bed, then damn he really had a good night with the alcohol. Scratching the back of his head, Jungkook pushed the covers aside and stood up. He felt stiff but ignored it, sometimes dreams were much too real. Honestly, he was a little worried that he had slept with some random last night and they had left like any good one night stand would.

Just thinking about this made him groan even more. Rubbing his chest while yawning, he padded out into the living room and started to see pieces of his clothing. Well, Taehyung’s clothing. Once he made it to the kitchen he found his pants and his phone. Pulling it out, Jungkook went to turn it on. Nothing. Of course it was dead.

Walking back towards his bedroom, he yawned again only to stop short as another person with black hair streaked with blue stepped out of his bathroom in just a towel.

“Shit.” He muttered under his breath. Last night wasn’t a dream, he wasn’t stiff for nothing, last night wasn’t a dream. “Shit.”

Turning around, Yoongi stared at the other before a lazy smirk spread across his lips. Jungkook stared back at Yoongi and noticed how there was still a slight residue from his eyeliner the other. Fuck him, he did wear eyeliner. The man really was dressed to kill.

“This is the best dream I’ve had in a long time, don’t wake me.” The sleep slurred words filled Jungkook’s ears and he shivered. It had been too long since he had heard Yoongi’s sleep ridden voice. He had almost forgotten how much he loved it. Jungkook didn’t know what to say so he just chuckled and went to plug in his phone. As he walked past Yoongi he didn’t see how the man had reached out for him but hesitated and dropped his arm back by his side.

Ruffling his own hair, Yoongi went to go collect his clothes.

“Jesus, did he throw my clothes out the window or something?” he grumbled to himself as it felt like all of his clothes were in places they should have never ended up. Bringing them back into the room he started to get dressed.

“I’ll leave in a moment.” Jungkook had his back to Yoongi so the elder couldn’t watch him hold his breath at those words nor let out a deep silent sigh. He nodded,

“Alright.” the words were barely audible but enough for Yoongi to hear. With just his jeans on, he turned on his phone screen. 8% battery life and more than enough missed calls and texts. He let out a sigh.

“Sorry, I should have asked before I used your shower.”

“It’s fine hyung.”

Yoongi shoved the phone back in his jeans pocket not bothering to reply to the messages yet. Instead he pulled on his shirt and his leather jacket, mussing up his hair again. He chanced a glance over to the younger only to find him staring at him.

“Jungkook-”

The younger raised his eyes to Yoongi’s and he froze. He didn’t know what he was going to say, his mind was a blank.”

“Beautiful…”

“Uh, what?”

“Oh uh, nothing.” Yoongi coughed to clear his throat and his mind. He hadn’t meant to muter that.

“If you don’t want to be bombarded leave your phone off. It uh looks like Hoseok and uh Ji-Jimin have been looking for us.”

“Ah…” Jungkook looked away, disappointed. He didn’t know what he expected but he knew he didn’t want that type of response.  Nodding his head, he added,

“I should probably shower too.”  Yoongi walked to the door and stopped looking over his shoulder.

“Don’t let Jimin worry too much. It uh, it hurts you know?” He coughed again,

“Ah, well you’ll figure it out.” Turning ahead, he didn’t see Jungkook looking after him. He didn’t see the longing, he didn’t see the uncertainty, he didn’t see that Jungkook wanted him to stay.

Hearing the door click close, Jungkook still stood there staring after him.

“I missed you.”

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, halfway home, Yoongi decided to just called Hoseok.

“Thank god! Hyung, how could you not even tell me you were home?!” The relief was quickly followed by scolding.

“I wasn’t home. Still aren’t.” There was a pause on the other line.

“Oh… Well, you still should have told me you were okay! You just left without telling anyone.”

“I don’t expect you to tell me when you’re going to fuck someone Hoseok-ah, why would I tell you.”

There was another long pause at the end of the line and then the hesitance returned.

“Hyung… you know I could tell-”

“Right, so I shouldn’t have to tell you.” His voice was starting to raise to a louder decibel. Letting out a frustrated groan he shoved his keys into the lock and opened his door.

“Sorry, Hoseok-ah. I just made another mess. Everything’s a fucking mess. Any semblance of progress is right out the fucking window.”

Yoongi kicked off his shoes and went straight to the coffee pot. God how he needed some caffeine. Luckily he didn’t have a hangover but he felt like he had one. An emotional one. He really didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him. Why was Jungkook even there last night?

“But you don’t regret it.” It wasn’t a question. Hoseok was stating a fact. A fact that Yoongi couldn’t deny. He didn’t. He didn’t one bit. Jungkook could send him to the depths of hell for centuries and he still wouldn’t regret last night. Just remembering how the others touch felt against his skin, gave him goosebumps. He needed it.

“No… no, I don’t. I just don’t want him to have a hard time with Jumin now.”

Laughter broke over the phone and Yoongi scrunched his nose up in confusion and annoyance at just how loud it was. Pulling the phone away from his ear, he glared at his phone and decided to just put Hoseok on speaker phone and set him down on the counter.

“It’s Jimin. Why do you keep calling him Jumin?” Tapping his fingers impatiently on the counter, he waited for the coffee to finish brewing. It was taking much longer than he would have liked. God, he knew he should have invested in a damn keurig.

“Because it makes me feel better. He can be that twisted twink from Magical Messenger or whatever it’s called.”

“Mystic Messenger and Han Jumin is not a twink.” Yoongi’s fingers stopped tapping the counter and he looked over at his phone as if he could see Hoseok through it.

“How do you know, huh? Have you played Magical Messenger?” a cough could be heard from the other end and this time Yoongi laughed. He laughed hard, so hard that he was slapping the counter and his gums were showing.

“Jung Hoseok, you play Magical Messenger! Oh this is so good. Is Jumin your favorite?! H-how many times have you played.” Yoongi continued to laugh while the other line was screeching some nonsense about how they had never played and a load of crock because Yoongi knew otherwise.

Well, he kept laughing until he turned around and saw the very person he had just left about 45 minutes ago standing in his house unannounced.

“I-I gotta go.” Smashing his hand over the phone, Yoongi tried to hit the end button but it took him a few times before he did. His eyes were trained on wet hair plastered to Jungkook’s head as he stood at the edge of his kitchen.

“Will you laugh like that for me hyung?” Yoongi was at a loss of words and just stood there staring at the man in front of him. His hand gripped the edge of the counter harder with each step that Jungkook took towards him. His knuckles were turning white.

“You always do it for Hobi hyung, but can you do it for me?”

Yoongi felt a hand over his, gently peeling his frozen fingers from the edge of the counter.

“Hmm?” The younger was still questioning him and working his hand away from the counter. It took awhile for him to find his voice as well as for him to relax his hand. Yoongi made it though, he still couldn’t believe what he was seeing was real.

“Y-yeah…” The stutter he couldn’t control nor could he control just how much warmth spread through his chest when he saw a smile directed at him from Jungkook’s lips.

“Jimin is great hyung. He understands me in a way I could only watch unfold between you and Hoseok. I get it now. I get just how amazing it feels to have that one person who can be your other half, can soothe you with just a look. Who shares what you feel and doesn’t mind sharing that burden. There’s nothing like it. Nothing.” Yoongi could only swallow the lump in his throat as he listened to his former lover in front of him. Who was still holding the hand he had just peeled off of the granite.

“He smiles when I smile, laughs when I laugh, argues with me and likes to pretend he’s mad when he’s not. He shares my sadness and I share his. I never realized just how much pain I could feel from another. It hurts. It’s such a different feeling from when I hurt myself. I know you understand what I’m saying, it’s so hard to explain. I get it now. You know what hurts me the most though?”

Jungkook’s warm chocolate eyes kept holding Yoongi’s gaze. They never waved, steadfast directly on the shorter man. His thumb rubbed over Yoongi’s hand. Back and forth, back and forth. Yoongi remained frozen. He felt like if he was to move everything was going to shatter. He was waiting for Jungkook to shatter it anyway but he wanted the illusion that everything would be okay would last as long as possible.

“What hurts the most, hyung… What hurts the most isn’t when I hurt Jimin or when he hurts me. No, what hurts the most is when you walk out my door. When I can’t see you anymore. When I don’t hear your voice. When you smile for someone else. When you leave, hyung. That hurts the most.”

Jungkook stepped even closer to Yoongi, they were only a few inches apart now. He cupped Yoongi’s cheek, thumb caressing him. Eyes just as warm as ever.

“What you did was wrong but I forgive you. Can you forgive me for leaving not once but twice?” The slight quiver in Jungkook’s voice made Yoongi’s chest tighten. He wanted to envelope the man in such a tight embrace that he’d never let go and Jungkook would feel just how much he cared for him. How, he never needed to forgive him before there was nothing to forgive. He had been in the wrong, he was the one who had caused this mess. He wanted to tell Jungkook just how perfect and precious he was.

Yoongi was a master with words, but words on paper, clips of thoughts and phrases, words in songs. They were easy, feelings and spoken ones were not. Which is why he didn’t hesitate this time to press his lips gently against the love of his life. He poured his heart and soul into that kiss. It was nothing compared to the rushed, lustful kisses they shared the night before. It was slow, gentle and sweet. It was intense in it’s own respects but felt like a cool breeze on a hot summer day.

When Jungkook opened his eyes, Yoongi was already staring at him, eyes sparkling with any emotions the other couldn’t feel through the kiss, with all the reaffirmation possible.

“Always, Jungkook-ah. I’ll always forgive you.” The smile Yoongi’s eyes bestowed upon was stunning. Just how the sun rises and falls, the stars dot the sky and guide you back home. That’s what Jungkook’s smile did for Yoongi. It guided him right back home, where he belonged.

“I love you, Yoongi-yah.” He slid his arms around Jungkook’s waist, eyes unable to look away from the man he hadn’t seen nearly enough of for far too long.

“I love you too.”

A loud cough broke the moment between the two love birds, as Hoseok would call them later.

“Sorry to interrupt this lovefest but thank god!” It of course was Hoseok. He had rushed over in a flurry, thinking something had happened to Yoongi but it was just Jungkook. Rushing over he enveloped them both in a hug and began jumping about.

“I didn’t know how much I could handle, Jungkookie.” He whispered to the younger and then jumped a few more times. Yoongi was scrunching his nose in disapproval but seeing Jungkook laughing, he kept his aversion to himself. He wanted to hear that beautiful tinkling laugh of his for all of time.

“Is there a reason you’re still here Hoseok-ah?” A deep grumbling erupted in Yoongi’s bedroom. Jungkook was on his left, holding his hand while Hoseok was on his right also holding his hand. As much as he loved his best friend, he wasn’t making it quiet that he really just wanted to be alone with Jungkook. The younger was trying to stifle his laugh behind his hand.

“Did you forget we all have plans to watch a movie?” He sniffed as if he was offended at being told without being told to get out. It was a couple days later, since Hoseok had the good sense to leave those two alone after the kitchen reunion lest he wanted his ass kicked by Yoongi. A couple days was more than enough, thought. At least he thought so. Jungkook also didn’t seem to mind either.

“Movie?”

Jungkook turned towards Yoongi and smacked him on the chest.

“You’re the one who invited him how could you forget. Jeez, you’re the worst. Why are you friends with him hyung?” Yoongi scoffed at the insult he had just been dealt.

“I don’t know Jungkookie, maybe you should just replace him as my best friend. At least you don’t forget about me.” Hoseok pretended to be upset and Jungkook giggled but agreed to replace Yoongi.

“Uh, excuse you Jung Hoseok,. Jungkookie is mine.” A groan could be heard but everyone ignored it. Jungkook propped up to look at Jimin who had appeared. Hoseok, raised both of his brows, surprised by the possessive side of Jimin.

“Why is Jumin here?” The same person who groaned asked another question he should know the answer to.

“It’s Jimin!” Jungkook and Hoseok yelled at Yoongi simultaneously.

Standing by the entryway to Yoongi’s bedroom, Jimin’s ears turned pink and he looked shyly away.

“Sorry, hyung but you didn’t lock your door again so I uh, let myself in.” This time Yoongi got flicked in the head and let out a howl in pain.

“How many times do I have to tell you to lock the door?”

“One more?” He teased and got flicked again. Hoseok and Jimin broke into laughter at the two. Sitting up fully, Hoseok watched Jimin standing there awkwardly by the door. Feeling eyes on him, Jimin met the gaze and smiled.

“Come on let's watch the movie.” Hoseok tugged on Yoongi’s hand that he was still holding but let go to walk with Jimin out to the living room. Leaving the two lovebirds to pretend to bicker, like they did from time to time.

Or perhaps they did so that way they could get another moment to sneak in a private kiss.

“If I come in there and you’re kissing again,” Hoseok called to the others,

“We’re not watching Iron Man!” Jimin finished for the other. They exchanged looks and laughed while hearing Jungkook and Yoongi groan before shuffling into the room and smooshing on the couch together for movie night.

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SEASON TWO: Send Me A Pairing And A Number And I’ll Write You A Drabble [Ongoing]

Season Two Drabbles 

Requests Open: How It Works                                                            

  AFF & AO3

#56 - Taehyung x You - “I think I need a hug.”

Special Request - SugaKookie “Tell me to go and I will but if you ask me to stay I’ll never leave you again”

#34 Jungkook x You “I could get used to coming home to this.”

#21 - Jimin x You “Do you want to build a snowman?”

#70 - TaeGi “I’m not afraid of thunder, that’s silly-”

#36 - Taehyung x You “Open the door before I break it down.”

#11 - SugaKookie “Can’t you pretend to love me? Just once.”

#10 - JinKook “Make me.”

#13/99 - Yoonseok “Is that b-blood?/How many times do I have to tell you?”

#48 - TaeJin - “Am I not enough for you anymore?”

#91 - YoonJin - “Where have you been?”

#49 - JungHope “Fine. I surrender. You win.”

#13 - Jungkook x You “Is that b-blood?”

#68 - NamJin - “Go ahead–rip my heart out.”

#75 - YoonJin - “Hold this, I’m gonna go kick his ass.”

#52/60 - Taehyung x You - “But… you promised/Tell me the truth. Please.”

#65 - “Don’t worry; It hurts a little less each time.”

#8 - TaeJin - “You.Cuddle.Me.Now.”

Writer’s Choice - Namjoon x You #35 - “How am I supposed to forget it like it never happened?” Pt. 1

Pt. 2 A Chance - Namjoon x You 

#6/78 - SugaKookie - "It’s 2am; that’s enough of that.”

#20 - YoonSeok - “Just shut-shut up for one minute!”

#24 - Jimin x You - “Are we really doing this right now?”

#8 - JiKook - “You.Cuddle.Me.Now.”

#11 - Yoongi x You - “Can’t you pretend to love me? Just once?”

#22 - Jimin x You x Namjoon - “Open your eyes.”

#75 - Jungkook x You - “Hold this, I’m gonna go kick his ass.”

#99 - Hoseok x You - “How many times do I have to tell you?”

#50 - Hoseok x You - Writer’s Preference - Rainy Days

#23/43/47 - TaeJin - “Why is there glitter in my hair and stars in your eyes?”

#16 - Namjoon x You - “Come on, dance with me in the rain.”

#33 - Yoongi x You - “Add me, subtract him, multiply your feelings, and divide the love.”

#26 - JinKook - "I’ll always come if you call.”

#24 - MinJoon - “Are we really doing this right now?”

#70/71 - TaeKook “I’m not afraid of thunder that’s silly.”/”I can’t sleep, so can you sing me to sleep?”

#5 - TaeKook - “Roses are red. Violets are blue. If you were a Pokemon, I’d choose you.”

#14 - TaeKook - “Kiss it and make it better.”

#7 - Jungkook x You - “You’ve got a little something… Right there… No, there.”

#95 - YoonMin - "Why do you like him so much?”

#1/31 - JiKook - “You do realize that we’re locked in, right?/I’m pretty sure this is illegal”

To be continued…

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Limbo

Special Request "Tell me to go and I will but if you ask me to stay I'll never leave you again"

SugaKookie

Word Count: 2465

Limbo.

It was a place that Min Yoongi knew well. He was so familiar with it that it was almost as if it was his lover. Limbo was a place he had thoroughly explored the ins and outs, pushed his boundaries and found that there wasn’t anywhere else for him to go. It was the perfect space for him to spiral down with no one to catch him. An endless abyss that one could never escape. Trapped by his own hand, that was the worst of it. If he truly wanted out, all he had to do was leave. That was his reality and yet he never could. There was an invisible set of ropes that had him tied and gagged. No way to move, no way to speak, no way to even think.

Comfortable.

Yes, he had grown comfortable here. It was a space that was familiar. One he could sit in for hours and oddly be reassured by the repetitiveness of such a space. Everything was the same, everything was predictable. Everything was safe. Safe… Hah, that was a laughable word. Yet, he couldn’t deny how true it was. Pushing could only get you so far and it wasn’t safe. No, not safe, nor comfortable.

Darkness.

It enveloped him in a what could only be the sweetest and warmest of coldest embraces that he was oh so used to. Swallowed him whole, spread throughout each fiber of his being and felt like home. Anything else and he wouldn’t know what that was. Some days he could see a sliver of light but even that was much too bright and Yoongi would shrink away from it. Unfamiliar, scary, much too hot for one like him to touch. Safe was here. At least any semblance of safe for him was here, in the bittersweet darkness that was always waiting for him.

Always there.

Waiting.

Tired.

Oh goodness was he so tired. If sleep could claim him and never let go, he wasn’t sure he’d mind. Life was hard, it was threatening, it was oppressive. People. Sigh, people were another monster all together and they made him tired. They made him feel all types of things he didn’t want to feel. Anger, sadness, lust, rage, jealousy, pity, the list could go on and on. Much too many feelings for someone who was already so assaulted and fatigued. No, feelings weren’t for him. Tired. Yes, Min Yoongi was oh so tired.

Especially because of one specific person.

Letting Go.

It sounded like the sweetest words he could hear. So sweet and so close that he could taste it. However, he was stuck in limbo. Once in limbo, couldn’t let go. Boy, did he want to. Letting go actually seemed like the safest place he could be. From that person. From those feelings. From watching others take what he wanted. From watching, others touch the light that he couldn’t reach. From watching, watching, watching.

Coward.

Words.

They were so easily tossed around. They held such little meaning but had such prominence and importance in one’s life. His life. Well, he wished he could toss all those words away. They were never enough, never meant what he wanted them to mean. He could never use them properly. Words failed Yoongi. Well, verbal words. The ones that people actually held in high regard. Scribbled words, though he could do. Written on scraps of paper, or an empty coffee cup that was next to him and needed to be released before it was gone. Words. They were gone so quickly, how could one truly do much with them. Words escaped him. Time and time again.

"Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay, I'll never leave you again"

Palms pressed into the hard cold concrete of the rooftop, Yoongi was more than sure he had imagined those words that his ears so desperately wanted to cling to. So, he did what he did best. Didn’t respond. Sat in silence, eyes scanning the darkened city beyond him with the bright twinkling lights of the night others used to cheer themselves up, to not feel afraid. Darkness was what he always welcomed, there was nothing to be afraid of. No, it was a long time friend and confidant.

Feeling the presence of another next to him, Yoongi mentally acknowledged the person. It was him. How was he able to ever not acknowledge that person? The air around him grew humid and suffocating. It always did. If he wasn’t burning up with such an immense urge to reach out to him, he was burning up from how oppressive just being around that person was. Yoongi was holding his breath without even realizing it, praying that their arms wouldn’t touch. Who was he to pray? He didn’t believe in such things but if there was any chance there was a god, he was praying as hard as possible right now. Letting go. That was what he wanted.

So bad that he could taste it.

A hand settled on his thigh, as intimate as one could be with another. Another person they had shared special moments with. Except, were they really special? Rushed moments at odd hours for short moments, heated breaths and immediate release. No, they weren’t special nor loving. Lust and convenience with nothing more. It would never be anything like what he saw was in the eyes of said person and the other he couldn’t help but grow to despise each day that past by.

Tensing up, he couldn’t help it. Letting go. He craved it. Maybe today would be the day. As the hand retracted, Yoongi let out a shaky breath of relief. God, it was so stifling and he had all of the chilly night air he could possibly want surrounding him on this rooftop ledge. Why couldn’t he swallow enough of it? Oh, right there was an unavoidable person next to him. Eyes darting over against his will, caught a glimpse of the raven haired man who locked him away in limbo for years. Years, it really had been years and Jungkook had never even realized the brevity of what he was doing. How could he? Yoongi didn’t use words. Not properly anyway. It had only been recently that he had pushed the boundaries of limbo and sunk into the darkness deeper than he ever had and finally attempted to push the other away.

When would it be enough? When would it be enough for Jungkook to realize what he was doing? What Yoongi wanted? What Yoongi needed? Not soon enough… That’s what he always thought to himself.

“Hyung…”

Don’t call me that. Don’t call me that. Don’t say it with those lips of yours. Don’t let it come out sounding so much sweeter than you mean it. Don’t call me that. The suffocatingly humid air, pressed even harder against Yoongi’s lungs and he truly wished for an end. An end to this. An end to the ties with the person next to him. An end to himself.

Jungkook spoke softly, "Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay, I'll never leave you again." For the second time he said the words Yoongi had thought he didn’t hear. The two had an unspoken language that they only seemed to know and understand but it was different. It was lustful and full of eye contact that neither were having right now. How could Jungkook actually know the words he desperately wanted to hear. How could he actually be saying the words that should be filled with so much meaning, meaning that Yoongi barely dared to dream about. Even dreaming was too scary but once you get a glimpse it’s hard to stop.

“You don’t mean that. What about him?” His words were just as soft as the one next to him. A sigh, escaped those beautiful thin perfect lips that Yoongi could already feel against his. The fact that he could feel those lips with them being nowhere near disgusted him. How could have allowed himself to fall so far? No wonder he was in the mess he was in. Just a hearing sigh was too much for Yoongi to bare.

“What about him?” The words came out with such a laugh it would make anyone who listened feel like they were stupid for even asking. Retreat. Yes, that was what Yoongi wanted to do. Retreat into himself. It was impossible though. Always was, when Jungkook was next to him.

“Hyung, why do you always mention him and never believe me?” The sadness behind those words actually caused a profound sting in Yoongi’s heart. Sincerity? Was Jungkook really being serious? All he could remember was fevered hands running all over him in closets that were nearby and wet sloppy kisses against his skin. No, that wasn’t anything but lust. That wasn’t anything but the other needing another fix that he had been deprived of recently.

“Why do you always drag me to a closet and then ignore me later?” The undertone of bitterness Yoongi was desperate to hide didn’t hold. It rang loud and true. He wasn’t the only one who was frustrated. Jungkook ran his hand through his hair and looked off to the side. To which Yoongi could almost rejoice for. Being under the man's direct gaze made the crushing of stones against his heart so much heavier and now it gave room for just a few of those stones to be removed.

“I-I don’t ignore you. Just…” Being unable to finish nor look at the older male next to him, gives Yoongi time to interject with potentially another jab. Unfortunately, he doesn’t see that Jungkook’s ears are quite red.

“And then you let him-”

“Stop talking about him!” He snapped. Jungkook snapped, it was loud, frustrated. It was ugly and it was embarrassing. Immediately after, the younger recoiled and spoke at a softer decibel.

“Yoongi-yah,” he paused with such hesitance as if the next words he would say were detrimental. Caution needed to be treaded on. Yoongi sucked in a breath as he heard his name with such an intimate tone he had only heard it once before. That had been the light that burned him and pushed him further into the comfort of darkness. It brought about hopes and dreams, desires that he didn’t need in his life or deserved. They weren’t anything to each other. Never had been. Hyung and dongsaeng. They blurred the lines that shouldn’t have been blurred. It was a mistake, he knew this because Jungkook had never said it again, had never looked at him in the same way as his eyes did that night. It was a mistake and all those stones that had been removed had been dropped right back on top of his heart. It was hard to breathe. Did he even want to breathe? Probably not. No, definitely not. Letting go. Where did that thought go? So easily it could vanish from truly just the mere presence of the person sitting next to him. It was scary. Jeon Jungkook was scary. Most of all though, Min Yoongi, was scary. Scared of himself. He always had been. Shuffling could be heard and footsteps on the ground behind him. Oh, he was leaving. He was finally done with Yoongi’s ridiculous attitude that he couldn’t stop himself from giving towards the other. Jungkook was leaving and this time it would be the real deal. The oppressive air that he could barely breathe in wasn’t getting any thinner. No, in fact it was getting thicker. It hurt more. The back of his eyes were starting to sting and whose fault was that? See, this is exactly why he sat in darkness. He didn’t trust himself. Words always failed him. Never once was he ever able to say what he truly wanted to say. What he truly meant.

“I’ll only say this one more time.” Arms wrapped around Yoongi from behind. Those fingers he knew so, so, very well found his own and laid on top. A chin rested on his shoulder, right next to his ear. The breath Yoongi sucked in was more than audible to both of them but also ignored.

“Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay. I'll never leave you again." This time Yoongi was open enough to actually hear the full weight of the sincerity and desperation of each and every syllable that left the younger male's lips. And maybe...Just maybe, that one feeling that Yoongi never, ever dared to hope for. That he never allowed himself to recognize within his ownself let alone another. Love.

There were still so many unspoken words between them. So many misunderstandings that should have been cleared up ages ago. They weren’t. They aren’t. And in this moment none of those mattered. Yoongi had a choice to make and it really was his last chance. Continue sitting in his darkened, comfortable, tiring limbo or perhaps reach out and start anew. Delve into that sliver of light that was only exposed to him once before at least that he had actually caught sight of.

“Stay,” a whisper in the wind.

Yoongi entwined his fingers with Jungkook’s that had just been waiting at the ready. He held them tightly, tighter than he ever would have before. Every fiber of his being was reaching out and holding onto the man embracing him and for the first time, that cold lonely darkness was fading. He wasn’t being rejected as he had feared and felt like he was for quite some time now. No, Jungkook was oddly reaching for him. For Yoongi. Not for anyone else.

Those lips that he would know anywhere, pressed against his jaw. He had felt this many times before but tonight it was different. It was slow, sensual, sweet, almost shy. That was not a word Yoongi would ever say embodied the Jeon Jungkook that he had come to know. Maybe...just maybe he had been missing something for a long time now.

“I’ve loved you for a long time, hyung.” Oh...Shy, yes, Jeon Jungkook was shy. A grin slowly spread over Yoongi’s pink thin lips and he chuckled. It made Jungkook feel very self conscious and pull back slightly. The elder pulled him back close. “I didn’t know Jungkookie could be shy.” If his back hadn’t been to the raven haired man, he would have been able to see the pink blush that just painted his face. “Only with you,” was muttered under his breath as Jungkook nuzzled his nose against his neck. Yoongi picked up Jungkook’s hand and pressed his lips softly to it. “I love you too, Jungkook-ah.”

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Hand Holding and Misconceptions

“Can’t you pretend to love me? Just once.”

SugaKookie

Word count: 5043

When you’re in a relationship weren’t you supposed to feel happy and have cute fluffy moments, hold hands, hug, just be intimate in a way that’s special to the two people in the relationship? Get mad at each other and make up? Send I miss you’s even when you were two feet away and be able to let that other person see you cry or be weak? Maybe Jungkook was just watching too many dramas with all of their wrist grabs, that he secretly loved but would never admit to if anyone asked him. Not even his boyfriend. Well, maybe if he was asked in just the right way but no, no he would. Shaking his head, fluffy brown hair flying back and forth, he cleared those embarrassing thoughts. Saying that to Yoongi would be so embarrassing and probably a moot point.

It had been two months and three weeks and they still hadn’t done anything different in their relationship except confessed to each other so many days ago. Everything had been exactly the same as before they were together. He knew that Yoongi had to go to work and that he was busy being the producer that he was. That wasn’t what he was complaining about. Jungkook was pretty busy himself and the two had always made time for each other but that was still the same as before. They hung out often after work and on the weekends if they didn’t have any extra work. Often times Hoseok and Jimin were with them too. If not then Taehyung was around. Which wasn’t a bad thing, they had fun together, playing games, watching movies, going to the court to play basketball. It was just a normal day in the life of friends. Jungkook wanted to sit next to Yoongi with their friends in the room and hold his hand. Even just Yoongi’s hand on his thigh, no knee would be fine. Except that contact very rarely occurred and if he initiated then the other would allow it for a few moments and then re-position himself so that they had their own boundaries again. Sure, his boyfriend would make sure to send him a text every night before he went to bed and Jungkook would send the one in the morning but that was the extent of their romantic couple life. Let’s be real he’s not looking for romance just a bit more affection.

Jungkook couldn’t say that he was perfect. It wasn’t very often that he extended that branch to Yoongi but he was also very self-conscious about it. He wasn’t sure that Yoongi wanted to be touched in those ways or spoken to in such a manner. It was easier for Jungkook to send a quick text telling him that he missed Yoongi but it was never really initiated by the elder and even though he would reply back with a ‘Me too’ it was hard for the younger to take it as it was said. Instead he worried about if maybe his hyung was just appeasing him. He didn’t want to be too needy and truly he didn’t think he was a needy person until…well until this relationship blossomed with Yoongi. Now he was questioning all kinds of things. It was driving him crazy and showed.

Jimin watched as Jungkook moved his body to the music mindless and passionless, there was no soul, no connect with any emotion let alone the music and he kept messing up a turn here, a jump there, a sway of his arms here. It was horrible. Stopping the music abruptly, Jimin crossed his arms across his chest and stared at the sweat rolling down Jungkook’s forehead and neck. It looked like the kid was working hard but he wasn’t. “Hyung?!” Jungkook called to him shocked that the music stopped. “What are you thinking about?” Jungkook stared at him for a moment letting the words sink in and then his eyes shift away ever so slightly. “About this upcoming performance. I need to practice hyung. Start the music.” There was a show the two were going to perform in. It was one that they did with their students but the kids always preferred to see the instructors dance not only because it was a good show but it gave them their own fire to remember that could be them one day or better and it gave the parents reassurance that their kids instructors truly knew what they were teaching. “Don’t lie to me Jeon Jungkook. It doesn’t suit you.”

Walking away from Jimin, he went over and grabbed the towel off of his bag and wiped his face and neck free of sweat. “I won’t go on stage with you looking like this. It’s an embarrassment. Not only to me but the company, your students and most certainly yourself.”

 It wasn’t unusual for Jimin to be harsh when it came to getting Jungkook on track. He was never mean about it but he told the younger what he needed to hear at least he always did when it came to dance. Both of them were very passionate and serious about their jobs. Rubbing the back of his neck, Jungkook looked at his phone that was lying on his bad without any blue blinking light to let him know he had a message. Involuntarily he let out a sigh leaning against the bar hoisted to the wall he let his head hang. “Sorry, hyung. I just… I don’t.. ugh…” he roughly ran his hand through his hair and shook his head. “I don’t even know what I don’t know. Yoongi-“ A clucking noise could be heard coming from Jimin. Of course it was Yoongi hyung. Jimin walked over to Jungkook and pulled him away from the bar to take a seat on the practice room floor with him. Jungkook stretched out and laid his head in his hyung’s lap. “He’s not ignoring you again is he?” The younger had his eyes closed but opened one to stare at Jimin a little harder than anticipated, “He wasn’t ignoring me before…but no he’s not.” Closing his eyes again, he laid there trying to collect his thoughts and explain this without sounding like he was just a needy little 15 year old which he wasn’t. He was 25 years old and a man. Hah, sometimes he really didn’t feel like a man. Now, being one of them.

Jimin’s small hand found its way in Jungkook’s hair and he threaded his fingers through the younger's hair over and over. The action itself made Jungkook relax considerably. Exclaiming excitedly, “This! Hyung, just this. Why can’t he do that?” A soft chuckle filled the air, “Play with your hair, Kookie? Is that all.” Clenching his fists, he forced himself to relax and not get more frustrated than he already was. It wasn’t Jimin’s fault that he was like this and the man was only trying to help him. “No hyung, I mean things like that. Hold my hand in public or give me a kiss randomly or you know… just hug me whenever and wherever because he wants to. Even in private he doesn’t do it much. I just don’t want to bother him if he doesn’t but I also don’t want to be the only one to initiate it you know? Do I sound needy? I feel like I am and I hate that.” The longer Jungkook rambled the more depressed he became. He just didn’t know how to go about to fix this without potentially messing everything up. More important to him than affection from Yoongi was just having him in his life. He didn’t want to push the man in the other direction. Jungkook needed him more than he needed or wanted to be selfish.

A smile played at his friend's lips as he continued to run his fingers through the younger's hair and reached over to rub his arm in comfort. “I don’t think you’re being too needy Kookie, but we all have needs and there’s nothing wrong with that. Even Yoongi has his even if they aren’t as frequent as yours and definitely not mine.” He laughed and Jungkook did too. Jimin was definitely more needy than Jungkook was but he found it cute even if he ignored most of Jimin’s advances at skinship. Taehyung was even worse than Jimin, that kid had to be touching someone somewhere at all times or he couldn’t settle down. No personal boundaries with that one. Rolling onto his back, Jungkook laid there still not ready to open his eyes and face the person he was talking to. It was still embarrassing but this, this he could do.

“I just don’t know how to fix it hyung. I-I don’t want to push him away.” The caution, frustration and sadness could all be heard from that one sentence. It made the elder frown, he didn’t like seeing his best friend like this but there wasn’t much he could do. This was something him and Yoongi would have to sort out on their own. Outsiders didn’t need to get mixed up in it. “I don’t think that will happen. Yoongi hyung is very understanding but nothing will be fixed if you don’t let him know Kook-ah.” Gazing down at his friends scrunched up in defiance face, Jimin flicked him on the forehead, “Don’t you scrunch your nose at me you brat. I’m trying to help you here.” They both laughed but Jungkook quickly settled back into a nervous silence. “Just talk to him, hmm? If he doesn’t understand I’ll talk to him.” Boy, was he such a sucker for the brunette lying on his lap right there. He truly was, always caved for Jungkook but he was his best friend and Jimin truly would do anything for the guy. Taking in a deep breath, Jungkook nodded. He always felt better when he talked to Jimin. Leaning forward, Jimin placed a soft kiss to his forehead that made Jungkook open his eyes and look up at his hyung. It wasn’t anything much. Jimin had done this to Jungkook before it was more on the rare side but every now and then when the elder was feeling especially affectionate towards the younger he would.

A soft smile spread across Jungkook’s lips, “Thank you, hyung.” He reached up and patted Jimin’s cheek which only earned him some hardened eyes. Laughter bubbled up and Jungkook quickly rolled away from Jimin and got to his feet. The next minute Jimin was on his and chasing after the younger across the room. “Get back here you cheeky brat. So condescending, you jerk.” Looking behind him as he darted out of Jimin’s reach and immaturely stuck his tongue out only outraging the elder further. The playful fight came to a stop when Jungkook skidded to a halt only mere inches in front of Yoongi. The dark haired, blue beanie clad man looked at his boyfriend. There wasn’t any expression on his face, it was a blank mask. Jungkook had seen them plenty of times before sometimes they didn’t mean much but other times it meant he was keeping his real feelings bubbling below the surface. Today, he was getting mixed feelings and the smile slipped from his face. “I had thought we could get dinner together but if you’re busy I could just bring you something for later.”

Jungkook stood uneasy in front of his boyfriend, not knowing what to do with his hands so he rubbed the back of his neck. Nervous tick. “Um,” He looked back at Jimin because they both knew that he needed to practice but Jimin just waved him off and went back over to the music and started it for himself. “Sure hyung, let’s go eat. I just need to shower real quick.” He pointed down at his white shirt that was practically see-through all the way to his mid chest and definitely sticking to his back. Yoongi nodded, moving aside so they could leave. Jungkook’s fingers twitched at his side, eyes glancing at Yoongi’s hand before darting back to directly in front of him. He let their fingers brush but frowned when Yoongi pulled his away and stuffed them in his pockets.

They didn’t go anywhere fancy, in fact the minute Jungkook mentioned lamb skewers his boyfriend agreed. They went to their favorite street vendor and ordered perhaps one too many orders of lamb skewers. It was an overall good time. They talked about work on both ends, music because that was always a topic when they were together. If it wasn’t Yoongi showing him a new artist then it was Jungkook doing so. Really it was just nice to have some casual conversation with his boyfriend. The two had been busy lately and sometimes when they were together it was still while doing work but just being in the same room. It was something that Jungkook actually enjoyed. Just being in Yoongi’s presence could calm and relax him. He hoped that the other felt the same as well. Though the talking was nice, it was the same, the walk to the lamb skewers stand and from the lamb skewers stand to Jungkook’s apartment. They didn’t live together and that talk had never come up it wasn’t something that even Jungkook thought about. Too soon for that and if the issues he was currently having already weren’t present enough, moving in certainly wasn’t a solution.

Grabbing Yoongi’s hand in both of his Jungkook pulled him towards his door. “Come in for a while, hyung?” He swayed back and forth with a soft and eager smile on his lips. He wasn’t up to anything mischievous he just wanted to spend more time with his boyfriend. The blank expression was back but Yoongi shift his gaze and Jungkook couldn’t see it anymore. After a moment of silence, Yoongi took his hand back and put it in the pocket of his leather jacket. “I don’t think-“ His face fell immediately and dropped his arms by his side. “What did I do?” This got Yoongi’s attention and he looked up at Jungkook and shook his head. “Nothing.”

Letting out a scoff, Jungkook’s eyes hardened as he stared at the one person who wasn’t supposed to lie to him no matter what. “Don’t lie to me. I saw your expression when you stopped by the studio, the same one you gave me just a minute ago. I’m not dumb, something is wrong.” Before he could stop himself he reached out a hand to Yoongi but the elder flinched just enough for Jungkook to notice. That was more than the last straw. He didn’t know previously how to approach his boyfriend about the issues he’s been having but now he was forced to.

This.

This hurt.

He didn’t want to feel this way, he didn’t want to be too needy and he didn’t want to hurt Yoongi but something had to give. If Yoongi didn’t want to be with him anymore then he needed to just say it. Was that so hard? Why couldn’t the man he cared so much about just show some of that feeling to him? He used to. All the time, what was so different now? Hell, he’d take a damn pat on the head at this point. Maybe they had made a mistake. The thought of that made his heart constrict painfully. Jungkook didn’t believe that and didn’t want to believe it but he was at a loss and it just hurt. He wanted to give everything to Yoongi, to share everything, to make him smile but it didn’t seem like he could even do that.

“Can’t you pretend to love me? Just once.” The words came out so soft, they were almost a whisper. Even still they delivered a flawless punch right in the gut to Yoongi. He didn’t even know what to say. The two just stared right out in the middle of Jungkook’s apartment complex hallway. Yoongi stared at Jungkook and watched how sadness and frustration filled the previously bright, adorable and most lovable person on the planet while Jungkook couldn’t even hold Yoongi’s gaze. Grabbing Jungkook’s wrist, he pulled the younger into his apartment and let the door slam behind them. Pressing the younger up against that very door, he stared long and hard at his boyfriend. Jungkook was squirming in his skin, he had always been easily susceptible to Yoongi’s intense charcoal eyes that drew him in for days. Now, though they made him squirm in conflicting ways. He was nervous, oh so nervous as to what was going to be said next but a small part of him down in his core was shaking in excitement. He shouldn’t be feeling like that, he knew that but he couldn’t help it.

“Why must I pretend? Don’t you do it enough?”

Raising his eyes to meet Yoongi’s the two stared at each other. There was a storm brewing, he could see it swirling in the elder’s eyes. He might be shorter than Jungkook but that really didn’t mean anything at all. He had learned that ages ago and wouldn’t underestimate him again. At first he felt a pang at Yoongi’s question. He couldn’t even give him a small moment of fantasy that they felt the same way about each other. Then the second question plagued Jungkook’s mind and he didn’t know what was going on anymore.

“Do what? When do I ever pretend? I’m always reaching for you and you’re always running away.” Yoongi still had Jungkook’s wrist in his hand and he involuntarily began to clench. The younger didn’t say anything, in fact he barely felt it much too focused on the man in front of him and figuring out what the hell was going on. How could even think that?! “Don’t make me repeat what I saw in the practice room today, Jeon Jungkook,” the elder spit out, grinding his teeth in the process.

Furrowing his brow, Jungkook was trying to remember what had gone on in the practice room. Jimin had been helping him figure out what to do with the person in front of him. They talked, joked, chased each other. Nothing really out of the norm. “Hyung, I don’t know what yo- Oh…” Yoongi pushed off of the wall then and took a few more steps inside of Jungkook’s apartment giving himself some space to breathe. “Yeah, Ohhh.” He spat out sarcastically.

“Is that why you’ve been cold...Why you won’t touch me?” Jungkook wasn’t quite sure how to feel about this. It was sort of amusing, Yoongi had clearly been jealous of Jimin and their normal everyday skinship but in the next breath he was kind of annoyed. This wasn’t anything new. Yoongi understood this was how the two of them were. More specifically Jimin because 90% of the time Jungkook shrugged Jimin off and told him to go rub all over someone else.

Yoongi kept his back to the younger and tried to control his voice. “I...can’t,” he trailed off and Jungkook remained against the door quietly waiting. Giving the other time to find his words. “It’s just...ugh, Jungkook-ah I don’t want to be that way but… How would you feel after watching Hoseok run his fingers through my hair, kiss me and me caress him like that? I just can’t do it. Why are we even together?” He rubbed his chin before turning around to face his for the moment boyfriend.

Jungkook wasn’t ready, he wasn’t ready for it at all. Sucking in a breath, it was like seeing an entirely different person. Yoongi had dropped all of his walls, the man was standing in front of him with so much emotion, hurt, pain, love maybe swimming in his eyes and his shoulders sunk. He looked defeated and that sent a sharp pain to Jungkook’s heart. Clearly the two of them were a bunch of fools. Why didn’t he just talk to Yoongi earlier? If he had this could have been fixed. He wanted so bad to touch Yoongi, to comfort him, squeeze his hand, caress his cheek and let him know that he loved him. Because he did, he loved Yoongi so much. He had loved Yoongi from before they had even gotten together officially. The elder was the one who was slow on the catch up.

“Yoongi-yah,” Jungkook spoke softly, cautiously and was sad to see that even calling his name hurt his boyfriend. It was amazing how intimacy can actually hurt someone more than anything else. “I don’t have any romantic feelings or even sexual feelings for Jimin hyung. He’s my best friend. You know this. He’s always been fond of skinship.” Before he could continue Yoongi cut him off with a grumble, “It feels like more.” Taking a small step forward, Jungkook kept his annoyance at bay now was not the time for it. “If you want me to ask Jimin to stop with the skinship then I will but more importantly I need you to believe me when I tell you that you, Min Yoongi, are the only person that I want to love me.” He was standing a few inches in front of the dark haired man and slipped his hand in the others giving it a squeeze. Prompting Yoongi to look at him.

It took a moment but Yoongi finally raised his eyes to met Jungkook’s. “All I’ve wanted for the last three years, yes three years is for you to show me even an ounce of the love that I have for you.” He had never actually admitted to Yoongi that he had been pining after him for three years. That was embarrassing and he didn’t really think it was necessary but tonight was proving otherwise. A flicker of shock shone through those charcoal eyes and the elder bit the inside of his cheek remaining quiet for a moment. “That’s a long time.” Jungkook only nodded. They had known each other for five years and he had been in denial for about six months so maybe it was actually three in a half years that he had fallen so very hard for the man in front of him. Yoongi didn’t need to know the specifics though. No, he was at least keeping that to himself. Maybe one day he’d share. “I don’t want to be that type of person that tells you, your friends can’t do things with you.” Did Jungkook ever mention that Yoongi was one of the cutest people he knew? Because he was. Yes, the man was quite grumpy and certainly told people just how things were but he could also be one of the cutest people. He generally showed his love in quieter ways and Jungkook was okay with that but every now and then he needed a bit more. “It’s okay, Jimin is really frustrating sometimes I’l-”

Yoongi shook his head, “No. Leave him be. I need to deal with it.” Jungkook nodded and let that drop. If that was the way he wanted it then that’s how it would be. He was actually swelling with a bit of pride. Yoongi licked his lips nervously, “Uh...You said...Have I hurt you?” he wanted to look away from Jungkook because he was feeling like shit for hurting the other when he had very much been way too jealous over nothing. Just looking in Jungkook’s eyes had spelled everything out for him even now he was spelling it out again. As much as Jungkook found his eyes intense, Yoongi found Jungkook’s eyes to be the most expressive part of him. They really bared his soul. He didn’t need Jungkook to say anything he already knew. “Ah,” Yoongi coughed and cleared his throat, the relief he had been feeling just a moment ago was gone and his heart was shrouded in darkness. He hadn’t meant to hurt Jungkook but he did and he knew that it was all his fault.

“We’ve been together for almost 3 months and I-I know that’s not very long but… Hyung,” Yoongi knows that whenever the younger is unsure or nervous he’ll revert back to calling him hyung in certain situations. “It feels like we’re back to being friends when I first met you. Even as friends you acknowledged me more. I just you know, want to be more affection…” Jungkook trailed off, his ears growing pink as he blushes, “hold your hand in private and public...y’know?” His eyes didn’t quite reach Yoongi’s but that didn’t bother the elder. Did Yoongi ever mention that Jungkook was the most adorable person he knew? He could light up a room with barely the twitch of his lips. His eyes sparkled when he was excited even about the simplest things and that cheeky, sassy side of him even when it was frustrating was still so adorable. Jungkook didn’t pretend to be something he wasn’t and Yoongi loved that about him.

Placing his thumb and forefinger underneath Jungkook’s chin and raised it up so that he was looking into his eyes, “I think about it every time you’re next to me and even when I’m in my studio. You’re constantly distracting me.” He had already opened up so much he might as well go all the way. Not to mention, Yoongi really didn’t want Jungkook to misunderstand him. There was another reason why he hadn’t been very affectionate besides being jealous of Jimin. There were actually two reasons and neither one he felt completely comfortable expressing but he would. “I know it’s dumb but you make me nervous. I’m only confident in music. That’s my niche. You...well, you mess up all of my emotions. Constant roller-coaster but also… Sometimes it’s just safer for me to keep my hands to myself.”

Jungkook blinked and blinked again. Did he just hear that correctly? Min Yoongi just said he was shy and that he couldn’t control himself? No, he had to have heard that wrong. “I? I make you nervous?” That was as much eye contact as Yoongi could handle, god this was embarrassing. He coughed, “Sometimes.” Letting go of Jungkook’s hand he went to take a step back but an arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer. “You’re doing it again.” The elder gulped and nodded. He was, it was such a subconscious act now. “So, when we’re with the guys, you debate on holding my hand?” A grin had spread over Jungkook’s face and it was that cheeky one Yoongi had just been thinking was adorable. Nope. Wrong. What was he thinking?! Looking off to the side he nodded.

Jungkook didn’t stop there and walked Yoongi the two steps into the wall of the entrance way into his apartment. Looking down at him, hand resting on the elders hip, “And when we’re alone want to…” he leaned in close right next to Yoongi’s ear breath warm against it, about to mention something specific. That was the fastest Jungkook has ever seen Yoongi move. He pushed Jungkook in the chest, back until he was pressed up against the other wall. “Don’t press me, Jungkook.” he growled, eyes glinting red and staring directly into the others. A shiver ran down his spine and arms snaked around Yoongi’s shoulders. “That was hot hyung and so was earlier with the wrist grab.” Yoongi raised a brow at the man in front of him. “Yeah?” his voice was gruff and fingers played with the hairs at the nape of his neck.  

Jungkook bit his lip and nodded slowly, “Really hot.” Hips pressed against his while Yoongi hummed in affirmation of this news. Leaning in he claimed those thin soft lusciously pink lips he had been dying to kiss for ages now, with his own. The kiss was slow but it was warm and the longer their lips were press together the warmer it got. Yoongi slid his tongue along Jungkook’s bottom lip before taking it in between his teeth entirely, tugging and sucking on it before letting it go. His lip was swollen and red but that was the least of his worries. That was a tease and Jungkook couldn’t help but slide his hand underneath Yoongi’s beanie and pull on his hair, which elicited a deep chuckle from the other. Pressing his forehead against Jungkook’s he said quietly, “I love you, Jungkook-ah.” It wasn’t something that had been established before and while Yoongi had never admitted it, that feeling had been evolving for quite a long time.

Opening the door to his practice room, Jungkook and Yoongi walked just past the threshold hand in hand. Jungkook was about to let go and put his bad down but the other pulled him back and kissed him chastely on the lips once, twice before letting him go. “Work hard, Jungkook-ah.” The younger quirked his brow and then pouted. “Aren’t you supposed to tell me not to work too hard?” Yoongi chuckled and shook his head. “No, I know you’re better than that. Call me when you’re done.” He squeezed his hand before letting go but Jungkook pulled him back once more and kissed his cheek. Shaking his head, Yoongi left the room with a silly smile on his lips.

Jimin finally cleared his throat from the corner of the room. “Uh, what the hell was that display?” Crossing his arms and staring down the younger for all the juicy details. Jungkook just shrugged and just walked over to the side of the room setting his bag down. “He dropped me off on his way to work. Come on, we have to get this down before next weekend. Can’t have the students showing me up.” He said to his best friend as he went to set up the music. Jimin was still eyeing him, “After you’re telling me everything. Not one detail missed!” Jimin walked up to Jungkook and poked him in the chest as if he was going to kick his butt if he didn’t listen to his hyung. Laughing he nodded, “Alright, hyung whatever you say.” Pressing the play button, the two immediately went into professional mode and started their routine once again. This time running through it much smoother than before.

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SEASON ONE: Send Me A Pairing And A Number And I’ll Write You A Drabble [Completed]

Season One Drabbles                                                             AFF & AO3

#88 - NamJin “Don’t panic but I think we might have accidentally gotten married.” NamJin

#59 - Yoongi x You “Tell me to go and I will, but if you ask me to stay, I’ll never leave you again”

#80/87 - Namjoon x You “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you./You were never just a friend.“

#71/76 - Yoongi x You “Kiss me quick/I need you to pretend we’re dating.”

#8 - Yoongi x You “I’d die for you. Of course, I’d haunt you in the afterlife but really, it’s the thought that counts.”

#57 - Jungkook x You - "Teach me to fight.”

#88 - YoonMin - “Don’t panic but I think we might have accidentally gotten married.”

#40 - Seokjin x You “Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”

#88 - Hoseok x You - “Don’t panic but I think we might have accidentally gotten married.”

#6/34 - Jungkook x You; Jimin x You - “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

#35 - Hoseok x You - “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

#6 - VMon - “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”

#83 - Jungkook x You - “It’s always been you.”

#11 - SugaKookie - “Don’t you are throw that snowba—goddammit!”

#18 - VMin - This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in.“

#35/62 - Jungkook x You - “You heard me. Take. It. Off./“It’s only one night, we’ll just share the bed.”

#32/98 - Jungkook x You "I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified./I can’t watch you with someone else. It’s tearing me apart.”

#20/21/22 - Jungkook x You “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you/We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain/I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice”

#66/13 - Jimin x You “Kiss me/The only thing I want is you”

#17/54 - Yoongi x You “Come over here and make me/I don’t hate you, I could never hate you, that’s the problem”

#13 - Hoseok x You “Kiss me.”

#62 - Yoongi x You “It’s only one night we’ll just share the bed.”

#18/19 – Taehyung x You “This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in./The paint’s supposed to go where?”

#5/51 – Jungkook x You “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?/What the hell are you wearing?“

#32/40 – SugaKookie “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified/Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”

#18/25 - JiKook "This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in/I can’t believe you talked me into this”

#11 – Taehyung x You “Don’t you dare throw that snowba-goddammit!”

#50 - Hoseok x You - Writer’s Preference - Rainy Days

#32/65 MikaYuu “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified./I wish you could see yourself the way I see you”

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Soul Parnters Always and Forever

“Just shut-shut up for one minute!”

YoonSeok

Word Count: 1500

Continuation

The problem with being soulmates, yes there was a problem, is that you could be going about your daily routine and then wham, be slammed into with harsh emotions that aren’t your own and you truly don’t welcome. At least not at that moment. Hoseok had been feeling random surges of emotions for awhile now. He knew what the cause was. He knew why he was crying at three in the morning being woken from his sleep to do so, he knew why he was in the middle of a dance contest and felt an overwhelming surge of warmth spread throughout this core to the tips of his fingers and toes and sadly it wasn’t because of his dancing euphoria. He knew why he was grinning fondly in front of his friend he was sharing a meal with when they had literally just been stuffing their faces with burgers and fries and not talking.

For the most part Hoseok didn’t mind his soulmate. In fact, he truly adored his soulmate and had always been ecstatic the day he found those two words blossomed across his inner right wrist, “Min Yoongi”. Unfortunately, as of late, he was being attacked with his soulmate’s pain. In the morning and afternoon it was dull but in the evening and late at night Hoseok ached all over. A tightness settled around his heart and the smiling face he liked to show was rather hard to produce.

Which was why it was no surprise to Yoongi to hear a loud incessant pounding on his apartment door at 2:41am. Just as much as Yoongi knew that he was not the only one baring his pain, it only hurt him more to know that he was causing his best friend, partner to be so down. Sometimes he truly wished that they could close their connection and just keep some things to themselves. That however was a luxury they were not given.

“Hoseok-ah… I’m sorry.”

That was the beginning as Yoongi pulled the door open and in stepped as emotionally complicated Jung Hoseok. His hair was every which way, most definitely had been sleeping prior to another burst of emotions waking him up. He didn’t even realize he was rubbing the name on his wrist. Whenever a soulmate was feeling intense emotions you would especially feel a throbbing in that same spot you were branded.

Hoseok didn’t even get a word in as he stared at Yoongi, wide eyed and visibly upset that his other half, well his other half looked a wreck. Red eyes with heavy bags underneath, hair greasy and was that stubble? Oh yes, that was indeed stubble on the older man’s chin. That was a sight to see and one that you didn’t see unless Yoongi had locked himself in his studio for days on end.

“I’m so sorry. I never wanted you to feel anything and I-I tried, I’m still trying so damn hard to just not feel but I can’t Hobi-yah. I can’t and it hurts and I’m hurting you and I’m sorry.”

This long winded apology wasn’t much like the man that Hoseok knew at all. His eyes immediately softened and he went to open his mouth but as soon as Yoongi’s eyes flickered back up to Hoseok’s he started again, silencing the dancer from saying anything. Taking a few more steps forward, Hoseok pulled his hyung into his arms and rubbed his upper back in slow comforting circles. The opposite of how his words sounded.

“Just shut-shut up for one minute!”

The sentence was practically growled and that was due to annoyance on many levels but the message he was trying to push through their connection was understanding, warmth, comfort, just letting him know that he was there. Yoongi was too distraught at first to let anything through but after a few moments of silence, Hoseok rubbing his back just letting the other sink into him let his walls down and finally lean on someone it was received. The tightness in Yoongi’s body eased little by little until he let out a sigh that let Hoseok know they could stop standing in the entranceway. He took Yoongi’s hand in his and guided him through the elder’s apartment, to his couch and sat down, pulling the elder with him.

Yoongi sat down close to Hoseok but he wasn’t wrapped in an embrace anymore, he did however seek out the younger's hand and held it lightly. He had forgotten how just being in the mere presence of his soulmate could relax him so.

“What’s wrong hyung? T-this normally doesn’t last so long.” He spoke softly, gently, coaxing Yoongi to talk with him.

Looking down at their hands, Yoongi rubbed the pad of his thumb over Hoseok’s smooth skin as he nibbled on his bottom lip thinking on what to say.

“He’s gone, Hoseok-ah.” The words were barely a whisper. A moment later Yoongi looked up at his soulmate, tears threatening to spill for what probably wasn’t the first time tonight. Turning his head towards the mantle across his faux fireplace, Yoongi’s eyes rested on the picture of a doe eyed, fluffy brown haired, cherry lipped young man smiling brightly amidst the sun beaming on his face.

“He’s gone and...and I don’t know how I-I...I just don’t know how. What if he doesn’t-” The elder is very much lost in his own memories but Hoseok knows what he’s about to say and cuts him off to say what he himself truly believes.

“He’ll come back.”

“But what if he-”

“He will.”

The strict firmness resonating in Hoseok’s voice broke Yoongi from his spell as he looked up at the man sitting next to him. They just sat their quietly, communicating silently. Yoongi wanted to argue so much. He hadn’t been there for the argument the other two had had, Hoseok hadn’t seen the way the man looked at him as he walked out the door or lack thereof. He didn’t know how none of his messages had been replied to. Hoseok didn’t know.

“Jungkook will come back, hyung.”

Letting out a sigh, the elder ran his hand over his face and then through his hair. He knew better than to say anything against Hoseok when he was using that tone. It was his tone that said he knew exactly what he was talking about there wasn’t even half an inch for error. Something about it comforted Yoongi like no other could.

“...H-Hobi but..not all soulmates are like us. Most aren’t. He went to his soulmate, Hobi… I just love him so much.” Yoongi’s dark coal eyes didn’t leave Hoseok’s, they didn’t waver, everything he said he meant without a single ounce of a doubt but Hoseok didn’t need to hear it. He felt it. He felt it every single day.

“And just like he went to his soulmate, I came to you.” Hoseok squeezed Yoongi’s hand.

“I’ll always come to you.”

A shaky breath released and Yoongi nodded. He knew that was true. He couldn’t have asked for a better person to spend eternity with this connection. Hoseok brought both his hands up to cup Yoongi’s face and made sure he was hearing every single word he was about to say.

“Jungkook loves you. I know he does. I may not be able to feel his emotions like I can with you but it’s there Yoongi-yah. He’ll be back and I’ll stay with you until he does.”

Nodding his head slowly, Yoongi did as well and took another breath, beating back his tears that he hated even happened. He never liked to be weak because of anyone or around anyone. The fact that he let Hoseok in truly had to do with the fact that they were soulmates and he trusted him like no other.

“Thank you. I may not be in love with you but I do love you like no one else. You’re my soul partner always and forever.”

This made Hoseok break out in a grin.

“I love you too, hyung. Soul partner always in forever.” The two smiled at each other in a manner that Yoongi would normally have called Hoseok a dork for.

“...Hoseok-ah, this may be true but just who gave you permission to call me so informally? Yoongi-yah? What?!”

Hoseok burst into laughter as Yoongi tried to feign annoyance with the younger for earlier and even crossed his arms. Leaning forward, Hoseok pinched both of Yoongi’s cheeks and tugged his face in both directions while grinning as wide as possible.

“Yoongi-yah you love me the mostest!”

“Yah!”

Yanking away, Hoseok’s hands, the younger jumped up and darted away only to have his hyung chasing him around the living room and yelling at him that he was going to teach him a lesson in respect.

This was how things were supposed to be. This was how things were and this was how Hoseok would always like to keep it.

Soul Partners always and forever.

Sequel ~ Continuation Clicky

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Anna’s Blank Pages

Hi, all! For anyone who doesn’t know me and potentially ones who would recognize me, I’m @sealegs2414 ~ *waves*

I’ve been writing for years now but I never really seem to have a devoted page just to that, instead I have some on tumblr, most on AFF and others on AO3. That being the case I’m going to keep all of my writings updated here so at least they can be found in a central location even if they’re posted on multiple sites. I don’t want to abandon AFF or AO3.

As much as I’ll be updating here, I’ll also be taking requests. I already have a series going on where I take specific requests for that. At a later date, I may open up requests for broader ideas rather than just related to Season Two: Send Me A Pairing and Number and I’ll Write You A Drabble. Be on the look out for that ^^ 

I’ve mostly been writing BTS because they are what I’m most comfortable with and for the time being that will remain. However, every now and then I may reach out to other groups. I’ll give a heads up if that happens and you’re more than welcome to shoot me an ask if you want to inquire.

I hope that anyone who finds my page and reads my writings that you enjoy them ^^ Please, always give me constructive criticism. I truly don’t mind, it’s a way to learn and I’m always learning. Also, no comment is unappreciated. Whether short (Great!) or a long detailed comment about what you liked (or disliked), they are all precious to me!

Thank you for your love and support <3

Clicky to Request

~ Anna

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Fic List (Still Updating)

Since I’ve just decided to post some of my fics on tumblr, might as well have a one stop spot for them all.

Since this has been brought to my attention, I'd just like to let everyone be even more aware of the fact that my username is Sealegs2414 and it is this on AFF, AO3, (Previously) Twitter, Ask.Fm, LiveJournal...are you catching the drift here? I use it for everything. That being the case if you see my fics anywhere else such as the above mentioned sites and the username is Sealegs2414 that is me. If it's on someone else username please let me know as I do not authorize my fics to be posted anywhere except for the tumblr reaction blog I am an Admin on http://exoandbtsarelifereactions.tumblr.com/. Thank you.

Twitter: @Sealegs2414 changed to @Suga_Mint ~ AFF: Sealegs2414 ~ DeviantArt: Sealegs2414 ~ Ask.fm/Sealegs2414 AO3: Sealegs2414

SEASON ONE: Write You A Drabble ~ Send me a pairing/bias & a number and I’ll write you a drabble/ff  ~ Completed

SEASON TWO: Write You A Drabble ~ Completed

Drabbles

Indulging Sweetness ~ Lay x You

Bonds Broken ~ Suga x You

Last Time ~ Lay x You

Those Words ~ Luhan x You

The Chase ~ Jungkook x You

The Right Decision Isn’t Always Easy ~ Jin x You

Cold ~ Chen x You

Girl of His Dreams ~ Taehyung x You

It’s You ~ Suga x You

Muse ~ Suga x You

Never Letting Go ~ Suho x You

Promises ~ Jungkook x You

Not Necessary ~ Suga x You

Parting ~ Jimin x You

Stubbornnes & 5 Lettered Words ~ Jimin x You

Your Night ~ Jungkook x You

Omurice ~ Jungkook x You

Flip Art ~ Chanyeol x You

Sticky Note Treasure Hunt ~ Hoseok x You

Your World ~ Jungkook x You

Brawl and Pranks ~ Jimin x You x Jungkook

Beautiful Thorns ~ Yoongi x You

One-Shots

Cuddle Buddy ~ Suga x You  ~ Romance

Sometimes being too close is just as difficult of not being too close. Just maybe he'll reach out to you. Reach out and help you find your way. Cuddle buddies can be more, right?

Twelve More Days ~ J-Hope x You ~ Fluff

It’s been a long day and you just need some TLC, something Hoseok is always willing to provide.

Majestic Oceans and Stormy Seas ~ Suga x You ~ Fluff

While the ocean was majestic and in constant motion, your feelings were anything but that. They rivaled the oceans strong current yet they weren’t nearly as awe-inspiring as those waves were. They crashed hard against your mind and body, never relenting except when you were too exhausted to deal with them. All of this was because of one moment. One thing. One person. Him.

Running On Empty ~ J-Hope x You ~ NC-17

Exhaustion is often described in a way that leads you to believe the only option is to pass out on whatever surface one deemed comfy enough. It resulted in stiff necks and aching backs. Only the few and far between truly know the meaning of exhaustion, where you’re so far gone you can’t stop. No, you can’t stop until you push past that empty gauge and delve deeper which can be so very devilishly satisfying.

Exposed Secrets ~ SugaKookie ~ Fluff

Jungkook has a secret but until Yoongi changes his ways that secret will remain in the dark, or so he thinks.

Keep On Giving ~ VMin ~ Fluff

When one grows accustomed to certain things he'll feel out of sorts when they disappear...That's how Henry feels when his overbearing nurse suddenly deems him in top shape condition.

See Only Me ~ JiKook ~ NC-17 Smut/a little fluff

Jimin is always seeking out Jungkook, it's a sexual contract the two had drawn months ago but it worked. A silent agreement between two friends. A means of convenience, yet how come Jimin only does the seeking and is he doing the seeking to fill sexual frustration or did he really cross that line without realizing it?

Innocent Touches and Not So Subtle Glances ~ TaeGi ~ PG13 Fluff w/implied smut

Yoongi has a fear of Taehyung's burning need. Can this fear be abolished while the need is being fulfilled?

A Misguided Silence ~ VMin!Friendship ~ PG Fluff

Taehyung and Jimin had been friends every since they were in diapers but now after all these years there seems to be a growing distance between the two. Are they just growing apart or is Jimin avoiding Taehyung like the plague for another reason?

Nature’s Beauty ~ SugaKookie ~ PG

Moments of nature’s beauty, he was always finding them. He saw it in all kinds of places and some people even gave him strange looks for. Beauty was beauty. It didn’t have to be grand or remarkable nor stunning at first glance. Beauty is beauty.

Jeon Jungkook is beauty.

Tea Time ~ YoonSeok ~ PG

The tinkle of the bell brought a smile to the dark haired man behind the counter spic and span with his brown apron on. It normally did because he had a sunny disposition but today his smile was especially wide. Only to falter each time he saw a customer walk further into the shop as it wasn’t the one he was hoping for.

Words Unspoken ~ SugaKookie ~ PG

Sometimes Yoongi just needs to gaze upon something beautiful before he can slip into slumber.

Sometimes that beautiful thing, is Jeon Jungkook.

I’ll Hold You To That ~ SugaKookie ~ PG

Yoongi didn't get drunk often but when he did he was a little hard to handle. Jungkook often had the job of picking up his pieces.

Body Shots ~ JiKook ~ PG-13

Jimin always has an excuse to celebrate, Jungkook goes along for the ride; who would have thought itd end in body shots, kisses, and maybe naked cuddles.

A Spoonful of Sugar ~ SugaKookie ~ PG

Jungkook has a fever and Yoongi is just worried that the maknae isn’t taking care of himself. Maybe he doesn’t need to worry so much when the maknae can still be so cheeky.

Two Shots, Three Shots, Four & More

Slow Burning Fire ~ Jungkook x You ~ Romance/Fluff (1, 2, 3)

Lines are formed and lines are drawn, whether by society today or yourself. Some are hasty and shake while others are bold, demanding and unwavering.  So, when someone starts to dust the sand over that carefully placed bold line society conveniently drew so perfectly for you what do you do?

Playground Tag ~ Jimin x You ~ Romance/Fluff (1, 2, 3)

Emotions and what leads up to relationships are like a game. We all play them, but how we play them is always different in a way it's like a game of tag. You can give someone your heart & tag them but that doesn't mean they'll tag you back.

More to come...

Fan Accounts (Really I’m putting this hear for my own convenience but you’re more than welcome to read mine)

BTS Wings Tour Newark

Atlanta BTS Highlight Tour

Smile Taehyung gave me^^

Block B Miami Showcase

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Nature’s Beauty

Pairing: Sugakookie

Rating: PG

Genre: Fluff?

Word Count: 3020

This was thanks to a random prompt that I saw on twitter. AU: Yoongi loves to portray the beauty of the nature and maybe Jungkook is the most beautiful thing in the world

Darkness. That was what Min Yoongi’s eyes were supposed to be seeing. The back of his eyelids should essentially be in view, his tired head gently lying against a plush pillow soon to lull him to sleep in the comfort of the warm blanket buffering out the chilly winter winds that beat against his window trying to get through any crack or crevice it could permeate. Winter. Yoongi hated the cold. The two didn’t mix however, with winter brought a side of nature that he loved the capture. A fresh blanket of snow untouched by man in the wee hours of the morning, the sparkle of sunshine being reflected off the pure white covering every surface, leaving nothing untouched. Yes, that was a moment of beauty. One that Yoongi enjoyed capturing despite how the cold in the air chilled his bones.

Moments of nature’s beauty, he was always finding them. Whether it was something as common as such a snowy scene everyone fantasized about but never wanted to wade through or as simple as a birds nest in a tree, mama bird dropping a wriggling worm into her baby’s salivating helpless mouth. He saw it in all kinds of places and some people even gave him strange looks for. Beauty was beauty. It didn’t have to be grand or remarkable nor stunning at first glance. Beauty is beauty.

Jeon Jungkook is beauty.

Jeon Jungkook is nature at it’s finest.

Jeon Jungkook, with his sun-kissed skin, bright innocent yet excited and passionate dark eyes, the curve of his slender nose, and the tips of those ears turning pink at the simplest of comments, his firm, lean figure with a height that only seemed to keep growing, raven black silky locks that bounced with so much fluff it made you just want to run your fingers through it forever, those long, muscular legs, athletic thighs, slender yet thick taunting you to touch… Jeon Jungkook was perfect. Even in his flaws he was perfect. Those subtle scars on his face felt like they were strategically placed in such a way that could they even be called scars? No, this creature was one of nature’s finest works of art.

Which would explain why in the middle of the night when Yoongi’s head should be resting on his pillow, it was leaning over a sketch pad, fingers gripping his pencil, strong, gentle and determined strokes to capture that beauty of nature that couldn’t seem to escape Yoongi’s mind. It had grown into a habit. The artist would be eating lunch, glance out the window to see a random person crossing the street with a basketball in hand. Next thing you know, his mind had gone to Jungkook’s form as he shot the ball into the hoop just the other day. His hands were scrambling for his supplies, pencil to paper and Jungkook’s toned thighs were being drawn in a flash. This occurred in the middle of his college classes. At work on his breaks, in the morning in the middle of brushing his teeth. An obsession? Perhaps.

How to stop?

A question that Yoongi had asked himself on multiple occasions but it never seemed to work. Seeing the young man on more than one occasion only reinforced things. They went to the same university, different departments but that surprisingly didn’t mean much. In fact, Yoongi found himself coming across the boy more often than some of the kids who had the same major as him. It was almost uncanny how it happened but he didn’t put much stock into it. Why? Yoongi wanted to enjoy such beauty, revel in it, bask in the light that was Jeon Jungkook. The boy brought him so much more inspiration than he’d like to admit even to himself. If his professors hadn’t praised him more than a few times then the artist could shrug off just how much of an effect that Jungkook had on him.

This was supposed to relate to winter right? It did. He did. Winter brought out layers upon layers of clothes. Where most people just looked like sacks of potatoes, that boy managed to do the impossible. Coats that should be blobs, scarves that should be frumpy and hats that should muss up your hair did the exact opposite to Jungkook. Where was he buying his clothes because no matter how big the coat, ugly the scarf, or big the hat, it looked anything but hideous on the boy. Jungkook looked fashionable and utterly adorable. Scarves didn’t seem to be something he cared for but on those extremely cold days he might just don one and that changed Yoongi’s day. It was bad enough with the kid wore beanies but the rare moments he had a scarf on just made him look more adorable than a Siberian husky pup in a basket with a bright red bow around it’s neck.

Yoongi’s hand moved all over his sketch pad page, slowly but surely another drawing of Jeon Jungkook was appearing. A winter themed one of the boy in the same bright red scarf he had seen him in earlier this morning. He had been exhaling deliberately to see his breath come out in puffs of smoke as he walked. Where as others tried to hurry to class and stay as snuggled behind their scarves as possible, he was casually walking, hands shoved into his pockets and eyes following his puffs of smoke. The two had crossed paths, both inevitably going to class in opposite directions.

Glancing over at the clock, 4:54 AM, a sigh escaped chapped lips. It was really getting late. He wasn’t one to sleep a lot as it was but considering he needed to be awake in about two in a half hours. Bed is where his tired yet inspired head should be. Min Yoongi was Min Yoongi and his current masterpiece claimed his attention once more.

With how many sketches of the same male were scattered about his studio, or corner of his apartment he deemed his studio, you’d think that the two were lovers or at the very least good friends. That was not the case. Min Yoongi and Jeon Jungkook had never spoken. Not even a single word. In fact, Jeon Jungkook probably didn’t even know Min Yoongi existed. The only reason that Yoongi even knows the kid’s name is by chance someone had called it out when Yoongi had been within earshot.

Haggard eyes, dark, dark circles under them, was the norm for Yoongi. Today was no exception. Shoulders slumping slightly, due to fatigue he made his way across campus at the pace of a turtle. Shuffling his feet, Yoongi kept his eyes on the ground, too lazy and tired to raise his eyes more than enough to navigate around nearby people. Shifting the strap of his backpack over his shoulder, he trudged along not caring much if he missed the beginning of his first class, Humanities. An easy A class that was taken purely for the fact that even in college you had to have credits for elective classes. The portfolio under his arm, was being held with a slackening grip. Yoongi’s eyes were fluttering, struggling to stay open even as he was moving. Another night of no sleep thanks to a boy who didn’t even know his name. Perhaps an obsession was right. However, Yoongi only thought of it as, an obsession to the beauty of nature. He fully admitted that he had one.

The camera that his father had given to him when he had turned 12 was hanging around his neck, swinging along and pulling down on the back of Yoongi’s neck harder than normal. In fact, it wasn’t any harder than normal but even one step to the brunette felt like he had weights tied to his ankles. Sluggish was an understatement. Skipping might have been a better idea, but deadlines are deadlines and projects were due. Thus being upright with two feet pretty firmly on the ground one second to very clearly knocked out from under him and his tailbone hitting an extremely cold and hard pavement wasn’t a surprise. For all the brunette knew it was his own fault.

Curses flew softly out of his lips, his portfolio had been dropped and papers went in just about every direction. Tufts of hair peeking out of his black beanie, Yoongi grumbled about the pain in his bum while slowly attempting to get up. It was an automatic reaction to tune out apologetic people who kept saying sorry over and over. “So sorry, let me help you.” The words barely registered to the brunette, who went about slowly picking up he sketches. That was until he heard a gasp. That wasn’t generally something you heard after someone knocked into you and asked to help you. Finally, bringing his eyes towards the person he couldn’t be bothered with just two seconds ago it hit him like a semi-truck with roadkill.

Jeon Jungkook.

In front of Yoongi, nature’s number one specimen of beauty. In front of Yoongi, more than one sketch of said specimen of beauty. In front of Yoongi, Jeon Jungkook holding one of his sketches. Those bright eyes, glancing at the other sketches also of random body parts, unmistakably Jungkook’s. As awkward as this situation should be, the elder’s hands were already reaching for the camera around his neck and snapping a picture of Jungkook’s shocked and awed expression in it’s rawest form. Another snapshot of beauty that Yoongi could never resist recording.

Blinking away the remaining stars in front of Jungkook’s eyes, he looked over at Yoongi who was currently on his knees staring at him through a lens. “Really?” He asked incredulously. Lowering the camera, Yoongi had at least the sense to apologize even if his expression wasn’t showing any sort of embarrassment or remorse. With a shrug of his shoulders, “Sorry, habit.” The other boy shook his head and proceeded to pick up the mess he had created.

Yoongi was waiting, waiting with bated breath for the words that he would inevitably be forced to follow. The rejection of his work while being asked to stop using the other without permission. However, it never came. The two cleaned up the rest of the mess in silence. Yoongi had felt like he was peered at more than once but every time he snuck a glance Jungkook certainly wasn’t looking at anything other than his task. Oddly, this made him nervous. His stomach was performing all kinds of acrobatics and he couldn’t understand why. In no way did he need to feel so disgruntled from a to be expected rejection. “You’re drawings are really good, Yoongi-sshi… Like really really good.” Jungkook said as he handed over the rest of the sketches he had collected.

With his mind in jumbles, he didn’t know how to speak. In fact, Yoongi’s lips formed multiple words but nothing came out for several seconds. “Y-yoongi-sshi?” Probably the dumbest thing that he could have said but there i was. The other nodded with a chuckle, “Yes, Yoongi-sshi..That is you’re name isn’t?” One blink, two, three. That was all that he could do, as he continued to crouch on the ground holding his portfolio that now had all his sketches safely back inside where they belonged. “How do you know? Me?”

“I’d say that your signature is on your drawings but while that’s true it’s also a lie.” The answer that was received only proved to confuse the sleep deprived man more. Jungkook stood up and offered his hand to the still squatting man in front of him. That snapped him out of his haze and he rose to his feet, with the help of Jungkook’s hand. Not bothering with a reply, Yoongi raised a brow. Scratching the nape of his neck while, his eyes shifted away from the other, downcast almost as if he was nervous, he continued. “Um, yeah..uh Hoseok hyung pointed you out.” With fingers twitching, they tapped the underside of his portfolio. Another moment that he wanted to capture on paper. It would forever leave his fingers smudged with the charcoal colored supplies he uses but it was worth it. “Hoseok hyung? Ah, he has a big mouth.”

It actually made a lot of sense, Hoseok was a friend of Yoongi’s. They had a class or two together, along with a few projects, phone numbers had been exchanged even a few days of hanging outside of university grounds. However, Yoongi was more of a loner and once he got wrapped up in a new work or in this case a new-found mark of beauty, he was practically unreachable unless you were cup noodles or coffee. Neither of which Hoseok was. The younger male had a lot of energy, a lot more than Yoongi did and sometimes he found him draining. He was bright and colorful, it didn’t surprise the elder that Hoseok made all kinds of friends let alone another bright creature.

Rosy cheeks and ears were upon Jungkook and Yoongi couldn’t be sure if this was due to the cold that kept creeping deeper and deeper into his bones the longer the two stood in the middle of a corridor that wasn’t shielded by any buildings or pillars. Or was it due to something else? Rubbing his tired eyes, Yoongi attempted to wipe away what he wanted to see only to realize what he wanted to see was indeed what he was seeing. Pink was painting Jungkook’s cheeks, how could anyone pass up such a perfect canvas. Yes, Jungkook was like the perfect canvas in front of him that he could paint anything on and it was just the right material that every stroke would display with such startling clarity and beauty that it would take the breath out of even the most unappreciative passerby.

Realizing that Yoongi was staring at the kid, he coughed and looked down at his watch. “Shit…looks like I’ll be missing that class. I knew I should have just stayed in bed.” He was grumbling to himself. Readjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder, Yoongi looked back at Jungkook and decided to end this awkward chitchat they were having, despite his artist eye jumping with every type of joy a kid on a sugar-high could have. “Look, I have to get going but I’ll stop taking pictures of you and uh doing some light doodling or whatnot.” Did he just say doodling? Wow, okay, it was seriously time for Min Yoongi to get into bed and sleep for 12 hours if not more. Doodling really? Internally the older boy was kicking himself for sounded beyond lame.

Pink thin lips turned up in a smile that showed a hint of two white front teeth. Jungkook’s eyes were sparkling with amusement and it only made Yoongi shift his feet in embarrassment. “Light doodling, huh?” The taller clucked. Glancing down at the Timberland's in front of him, Yoongi shrugged. “Okay, a few sketches.” Silently he was thanking god that Jungkook would never see his studio, otherwise he’d be in some deep shit. Few sketches, what kind of hole was his mouth digging him.

“I don’t think you realize how long I’ve noticed you.” Jungkook wasn’t speaking softly, but clear and deliberately making Yoongi quite uncomfortable. If this kid had noticed as he was indicating that he had why had he never come forward. Why hadn’t he told him to stop ages ago. Why did he let him make a fool of himself. All Yoongi wanted right now was to go curl up in some dark hole far, far away from this flawless creature. “Uh…I guess not. Like I said, I’ve got things to do and yeah, g-gonna get going now.” Taking a step back, Yoongi was ready to flee. A quick retreat was generally the safest and he had stayed for much too long.

“Coffee. You look like you could use some if you’re planning on staying up. Let’s get some. I’d like to see your work too.” Persistent. Did Yoongi say that Jeon Jungkook was flawless? He had a flaw, persistence was it. Good lord, just how damn persistent was the kid going to be. Did he get off on making Yoongi ridiculously embarrassed? Maybe he did. Problem was Yoongi needed to stay awake. At least for today. To do that he really did need coffee. Coffee and company. Two things of which someone was offering him.

“Fine but don’t call me Yoongi-sshi, it’s weird.” Turning away from Jungkook successfully, the other fell into step beside him in less than two strides. Damn those long toned legs that Yoongi liked so much. So much. So very much he might even have a small part of his desk designated for Jungkook’s thighs sketches and photographs. As if he’d ever admit to that though. “Okay, then…Hyung? Yoongi hyung, is that okay?” He questioned in such a hesitant and cute way that Yoongi found himself pulling his beanie further down over his ears and gaze looking off to the right. A heat had flushed his face, the smoothness in the voice that had said two simple words that so many could and did call Yoongi had brought about a reaction the shy older boy who was bad with words wanted to ignore.

“Yes.”

Jeon Jungkook was pure beauty in every embodiment of the word. It took less than a small conversation for Yoongi to confirm this. From the silky strands of his hair, sweetness of his voice, to the tips of his scuffed brown Timberland's that increased his handsomeness tenfold. There was no way that Min Yoongi would be able to stop sketching this gift of nature. The air around Jungkook was something else all together. While Yoongi wasn’t good with words and didn’t think he could ever fully explain just what Jeon Jungkook was to him, he knew he could express it through other means.

Art of expression was Min Yoongi.

The masterpiece is and would always be Jeon Jungkook.

Nature’s beauty beyond his lens.