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fruitcoops · 4 years

Note

Omg can you write about coops going live on instagram and answering TONS of fans questions? And just being domestic and cute together in general

I can, yes! This is partially the 450 celebration--to the lovely person who suggested writing a sequel to one of my favorites, please know that I love and appreciate you! Coop credit goes to @lumosinlove

Check out Part 1 here

“Is it working? I think it’s working.” An explosion of hearts covered the screen and Remus’ eyebrows rose. “Yep, definitely working. Hello, Instagram! I’m Remus Lupin, winger for the Lions.”

“And I’m Sirius Black, center and team captain.” Sirius waved at the phone. “We had a great time answering your questions last month and we figured we’d come back to do it again, since there were so many people we couldn’t get around to in those few minutes.”

“I can already see a bunch coming in. Should we start?” Remus asked, turning to him with a small smile.

“You go first.”

“Alright, first question….” He squinted at the screen. “How long have we been together? We’ve been dating for just over a year now, but we’ve known each other for three-ish.”

Sirius snorted when he read the next question. “What do we do in our free time? It’s cute that you think we have free time. Um, we read a lot. Sometimes I’ll play video games with the guys.”

“If we have a free weekend, we’ll go hiking or take a short road trip. Practice takes up four or five hours a day, so we’re very low-key, which I think surprises people.” Remus scrolled down a bit. “What are our favorite foods?”

“Don’t say it.” Sirius said immediately. “Don’t you dare.”

“Fine, fine.” Just as Sirius began to answer, he coughed, “pineapple pizza.”

“No!” Sirius smacked Remus on the arm with a pillow as he laughed. “Menace. My favorite food is pasta, because it’s versatile and I’m not a heathen. All of you who are agreeing with him, stop it right now. I’m very disappointed in your tastebuds. Next question…do either of us cook? We do, yeah.”

Remus gave him a look. “Do you, though?”

“That’s a funny thing to hear coming from the man who said he’d die for one of my grilled cheeses yesterday,” Sirius countered.

“Fair point. Yes, we both cook, but I generally do it more often because I enjoy it.”

Sirius looked back at the camera with sad eyes. “He kicked me out of the kitchen last week.”

“You kept stealing bites of soup!” Remus laughed. “It wasn’t even done, you could have gotten salmonella!”

“You can’t get salmonella from soup,” Sirius scoffed. The comment section went wild. “…apparently you can. Huh.”

“Next question, before we get too off-track. Who is the more dramatic one?” Remus folded his hands and rested his chin on top. “I’m giving you three guesses and the first two don’t count.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “You’re plenty dramatic.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

“Moving on! Oooo, this one is for me specifically.” He shifted closer, wrapping an arm around Remus’ waist as he read. “Sirius: does Regulus—you spelled that wrong by the way, there’s only one ‘g’—does Regulus still live with you? If yes, how does that work?”

“I’m telling him someone spelled his name wrong,” Remus said as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “He’ll get a kick out of it.”

“He’ll be so pissed,” Sirius agreed. “Nope, Reg moved out a few months ago and now lives with Pascal Dumais, but it was really neat to have him around. He’s still got a room here and it was nice spending so much time with him after we didn’t talk for a while. He’s awful about vacuuming, though.”

“Aw, people think that’s cute.” Remus smiled as he read the responses. “Ohoho, people are getting nosy. What do we argue about the most?”

“I’m not sure, actually. Maybe chores?”

“I was going to say practice time. We’ve gotten into a couple tiffs about watching tape or running drills after we get home.”

“That’s true.” Sirius frowned at the screen. “For those of you who apparently think that’s all one-sided: it’s really not.”

“He came downstairs to get me at ten or eleven at night the other day. We’re both hockey nerds, so it happens from time to time.”

“Are we going to keep doing tiktoks? Oh, for sure, they’re a ton of fun.”

“Absolutely. Where else am I going to get the inspiration to glue things shut just to irritate him?”

Sirius shook his head with a smile. “Diablotin.”

“Nothing like being called a gremlin by your fiancé,” Remus laughed, tapping the screen. “Okay…who’s the best in bed?”

“I’d say we both sleep really well,” Sirius said. “You talk sometimes, which is really funny.”

Remus glanced over. “Do I really?”

“Yep. I think you were grocery shopping the other night. You kept saying orange juice very adamantly.”

“Interesting. I agree, though, we both value sleep.”

“There are too many questions!” Sirius scooted forward and sifted through them. “To jay-mac 2001, we both love kids and might have some in a few years. No, mermaid queen, we don’t really have friends outside of hockey because we don’t have lives outside of hockey—” Remus leaned his forehead on Sirius’ shoulder as he laughed. “—but I’m sure that will change someday. Oh, here’s a fun one: what are our love languages?”

“Our what?”

“Love languages. Like the Buzzfeed quiz Pots made us take last week.” The screen lit up and Sirius looked offended. “Of course we know what Buzzfeed is! We’re 25, you fuckers!”

“I think mine was quality time.”

Sirius pulled Remus’ arm further around his shoulders and leaned into his side with a smile. “It’s physical affection,” he singsonged, making him laugh. “Your turn.”

“Have you finally found your song?” Remus read aloud. “I think so! We did an interview a while back and there was a question about our ‘couple song’, which we didn’t have at the time.”

“That didn’t answer the question, sweetheart.”

“Oh! Shit, sorry. It’s La Vie En Rose by Edith Piaf.”

Sirius read the next question and snorted. “This is convenient. Who swears more?”

Remus looked away. “It’s, uh, a tie.”

“That’s such a lie.”

He sighed. “It’s probably me.”

“You taught a literal baby to swear.” Sirius turned back to the camera with a wicked grin. “Harry’s first word was ‘Loops’, but his second was ‘shit’ and there’s an eighty percent chance he learned it from Re.”

“Changing the subject!” Remus cleared his throat, then smiled. “Aw, I like this one. What’s the compliment you get most often from your partner?”

“Does it have to be verbal?”

“Sirius.”

Sirius’ eyes went wide. “Not like that! Oh, fuck, I did not mean that! You always touch my hair, so I figured that was a compliment. Merde.”

Remus shook his head. “We need a supervisor again. Anyways, you talk about my freckles all the time and it’s adorable.”

“You’re adorable.”

“Sap.”

“Yeah.” Sirius kissed his cheek. “What’s the best date I’ve ever been on? We went ice skating at the local rink a few weeks ago and it was so much fun. I had never done that before.”

Remus’ eyebrows rose. “I thought for sure you would say the aquarium.”

“The aqu—oh, right! With the jellyfish arch!”

“Yeah!”

“Now it’s a tie, I can’t decide.”

“That’s fair. From spaceman93: who tops? We actually don’t have a bunk bed, though that would be cool as hell! Do you think Ikea sells them?”

“We should check.”

The screen exploded into activity again and Remus did a double-take. “Yes, we do buy our furniture from Ikea, there’s no need to sound so shocked. This person—I can’t read your username, sorry—wants to know which of us is more cuddly.”

“Definitely me,” Sirius said.

“For sure. I like cuddling people, but only a select few. I mean, I’m assuming you guys saw the Cap cuddles slideshow at our last game.” He laughed when Sirius turned pink. “Why are you embarrassed? It was cute!”

“There’s a hashtag now!” Sirius complained. “I have a reputation.” Remus rolled his eyes fondly as Sirius looked for the next question. “Ha! Do we ever get jealous?”

“Yes, but not for the reasons people might think.”

Sirius laughed quietly. “We went out to a bar for Kasey’s birthday a month or so ago—”

“Oh, please no.”

“—and a young lady was hitting on me, not taking the hint—”

“Jesus.”

“—so Re comes out of nowhere and kisses me full on the mouth in front of everyone.” He snickered and Remus hid his face in his hands. “It was kinda hot, not gonna lie. Really funny looking back, though. Your turn, sweetheart.”

“Who is clumsier? Ooh, we’re both disasters off the ice. I tripped over the carpet about twenty minutes ago.”

“I’ve run into every doorframe in this house at least twice.” Sirius grimaced. “If I could just tape my skates to my feet and always be on ice, that would be much safer.”

Remus cocked his head to the side. “I dunno, it would be hard to sleep in them.”

“I do that all that time.”

“That’s true, you take a nap in the hall at least once a week in full gear.”

“Reverse Edward Scissorhands.” They had to take a moment to stop laughing before Sirius turned back to the phone. “Mon dieu. Alright, what do we have next…when did you know I was ‘the one’? When did you know, mon amour?”

“Breaking out the nicknames, very snazzy,” Remus teased as he rested his chin on his hand. “I think it was just an accumulation of things, and then one day I went ‘oh shit’ and just knew. Sometime around New Year’s, maybe?”

“You only made it two months?” Sirius teased, nudging him lightly.

“Shush, you.” Remus nudged him back. “I knew I wanted to propose when I came home from hanging out with Leo and you were napping with the dog. You had done the dishes and left Avatar on so we could watch it together, and I opened the door and knew that I wanted that moment forever.”

Sirius smile was unbearably soft, and he kissed Remus on the cheek as hearts filled the comments section. “I’ve never seen so many keysmashes in my life,” he laughed when he looked back to it. “Hey, someone addressed one to you specifically.”

“Really?” He leaned forward eagerly. “To Remus, do you feel like part of the team yet? I do, a hundred percent! It helped that I was close with a lot of the guys from being the PT, so those friendships carried over really well. Being a player on the roster has only made that better and it’s the best job in the world.”

“Who has the better smile? We’re going to say each other, so I think we’ll leave that one to the comments—fuck, that was a bad idea, it’s moving too fast for me to read!” Sirius tapped the screen desperately, then gave up and waited for the scrolling to slow down. “Ask each other one question you’ve always wanted to know the answer to.”

“Do you actually want to get your ears pierced?” Remus asked. “You talked about it a while ago but I wasn’t sure if you were kidding.”

Sirius thought for a minute, biting his lip. “Y’know, I might. It was one of those things where it started as a joke and then I kept thinking about it. I’m not sure, hockey’s not the best sport to have things that can catch and tear.” They both winced at the idea. “My turn. What is it about pineapple pizza that you actually enjoy?”

“It annoys you.” Remus laughed as Sirius rolled his eyes. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I honestly don’t know why I like it so much. There’s something about the sweetness that goes so well with the regular pizza taste. Okay, last question for me: how many freckles do I have? Not many right now.”

“So many in the summer,” Sirius said dreamily. “That’s the best part of summertime and the only reason I like Florida. They might have bouncy ice, but it’s worth it to see the freckles pop.”

“Whew, Florida’s getting mad in the comments!” Remus grinned. “Get some real ice, then come talk to us.”

“Final question, then we really have to go. What does your partner look best in?” Sirius drummed his fingers on his knees. “His jersey. Or my jersey. He does own a pair of skinny jeans, though, and that was the closest thing to a religious experience I’ve ever had.”

“They’re comfortable.” Remus shrugged, but he looked rather self-satisfied. “That’s all we have time for, folks, but thanks for joining us!”

“Go Lions!”

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arvinsescape · 3 years

Note

Okay, so my request is based on Surrender by Birdy. Of course, feel free to come up with whatever plot you like, it just needs to be inspired by the song not necessary based 100% on it, but please make it pure angst hehe! 💞

Take all the time you need to write it, no pressure at all 🥰

Thank you so much and I hope you have a lovely day/evening 💞

- 🍃

Hi lovely! Thank you so much for your patience, i went though so many ideas for this! I loosely based it off the song or my interpretation of it! I am so happy you introduced me to this song, i really like it! I really hope you enjoy, i enjoyed writing it! It is angst but i added a hopeful ending for reader, it just seemed to flow better and work! I really hope you like it and i hope you are well!!💕💕

Warnings: I don’t think there are any in this one.

W/C: 2K.

Requests are closed.

You’d always thought you were smarter than this, you’d always said you wouldn’t be one of those people that would have a complicated relationship yet here you are. You wished it wasn’t so complicated but it’s how it seemed to be, you cursed yourself daily for allowing this to happen. You found yourself in the same position again and again and you were getting tired, it was becoming too much. The heart ache unbearable.

Tom had been in and out of your life for almost a year, he’d spend a few weeks with you and then he’d disappear for a few more before coming back. It was getting harder every time, you kept telling yourself that this time would be the last but that never happened. You found yourself wishing this time would be different, that he’d stay but he never did. Instead you were left with the memories of him for weeks and the tears to stain your pillow.

You’d not seen him for two weeks now and you found yourself scrolling through your pictures, reminding yourself of him and the hole in your chest felt as big as it ever had. You never heard from him when he disappeared, you really wished he’d send you a text just to let you know how he was, that he cared. You were slowly coming to the realisation that maybe he didn’t care, he said he did but you weren’t so sure.

When he did reappear it was like he was never gone, he’d kiss the pain away and you’d find yourself melting back into his embrace and allowing him to fix your heart before he broke it again. He made you so happy when he was there but when he wasn’t it was torture, he told you he cared deeply for you, never that he loved you and you became an idiot because you started to blur the lines between the two.

You love him, you really do but you swore this time would be the last, if he made another reappearance that would be it, you’d send him packing. You couldn’t continue to do this to yourself. You’d played this game long enough now to grow tired, you worried of course that if he did reappear it would be like every other time, you’d fall straight back into his arms and wish he’d just stay. This time felt different though, you felt different.

You were laid in bed when you got his text asking if you were in. Normally you’d reply in seconds, maybe that’s how he knew he still had you, you never asked him about where he’d been, making it easy for him in a way. You fought with yourself, your natural instinct was to allow him back with open arms, like every other time, but you knew you had to stop doing this, so you shut your phone off and put it in your bedside table.

You became curious after a day of not replying, of not hearing from or seeing him when you knew he was in town. You pulled your phone from your drawer and switched it on, you were expecting your phone to have blown up, like an idiot you thought he’d care or worry that you’d not replied, had he? No. Nothing, just the same text you’d received yesterday. Sighing you switched it back off and put it back, he doesn’t care, so why should you.

You wished it wasn’t like this, so complicated, you wished he’d just commit and stay but he didn’t. He told you that you were different and you believed him but now you weren’t so sure. You heard a knock at your door four hours later and when you opened it the last person you expected to see was him.

“Tom.” You breathed and he grinned.

“Hi darling. You’ve been ignoring me.” He pouted and the hole in your chest only grew, normally seeing him would fill it in quicker than a cement mixer, but not this time.

“Yeah I have.” You said, not denying the truth and he furrowed his brows.

“Can I come in? We can talk about it.” He offered and you sighed, maybe it would be easier if you just slammed the door in his face and cut him from your life, but a small part of you hoped the conversation would go the way you wanted it to.

“Sure.” You sighed as you let him in, he pulled you into a hug and it surprised you. Kissing the top of your head and you applauded yourself for fighting the urge to hug him back, you just stood there tense. You wanted to hug him back, fall back into the pattern, but you couldn’t. this wasn’t fair to yourself.

“What did I do?” He asked when he realised you weren’t willing to hug him back. He sounded concerned and when he pulled away from you he looked it, looked genuinely concerned. You shook your head as you felt the tears pool in your eyes and his furrow deepened when he saw them.

He moved his hand to wipe them away and you took a step back from him, angrily wiping your falling tears. He looked shocked, never once had you not allowed him to touch you, but you couldn’t if you did you’d fall straight back into him again and you couldn’t, you wanted to but you couldn’t.

“Where do you go?” You asked and his brows lifted at your question, you never questioned him.

“I just need space for a few weeks.” He said and you nodded in understanding. “I’m sorry.” He followed as he nibbled his bottom lip.

“Do you see other people? Other women I mean.” This had been the thing that had bothered you the most, you never knew if he was leaving for another woman, hell he could be married for all you knew.

“No.” He answered and you were shocked in a way, you were expecting him to say yes. “No, I don’t see other women.”

“Then why do you leave?” You asked and you couldn’t help the crack in your voice as your tears fell and he looked upset with himself. He tried to step closer and you stepped back, fighting the urge to stay still.

“I don’t know. I just need space, I can’t explain it.” He said and you cried harder, the sadness in your chest growing.

“Do you love me Tom?” You asked, you knew the answer, deep down you knew and you were torturing yourself by asking. He sighed.

“Y/N, I care about you, really I do. I think I love you but I don’t know, this is all new to me.” He said and you weren’t expecting that, you were so certain he didn’t. “Princess, I’m not good with commitment and you know that. I make things complicated when I don’t mean to.” He explained and you nodded as you sniffled, wiping your nose on the sleeve of your hoody.

“I love you.” You admitted, you’d never told him, you suspected he knew but this was the first time you said it. You broke down after that, realisation hitting you so hard, you couldn’t stand anymore, plopping onto the sofa before pulling your knees to your chest and sobbing your heart out.

“Y/N…” He trailed off as he knelt in front of you, placing a hand in your hair as you cried. He tried to coax you into his arms, but you couldn’t, this was hurting to much to go on. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to do this to you.” He said and his voice was so full of guilt that it made your chest ache.

“But you still do.” You choked out. He sat next to you and pulled you into his chest, kissing your head as you cried into him, too tired to fight. You wished he’d stay, but you knew deep down he wouldn’t. After a while, you calmed down, you pulled away from him so you could look at him and you were shocked to see tear stains down his face.

“Could you ever? Stay I mean? Make this less complicated?” You asked and your voice sounded so weak and tired, you were embarrassed. Tom didn’t miss it, what he’d done.

“I’ve tried, I have and every time I think I can do it, I can’t. Something makes me leave every time.” He said and you realised in this moment you had to stop doing this, giving yourself to him. He cupped your face in his hands and kissed your cheek. “I’m sorry, I want to. I do. I meant it when I said you were different.”

“I’m just not different enough.” You concluded for him and he sighed as placed a kiss to your forehead.

The truth was Tom hated himself as much as you did, if not more. He loved you, he knew he did. He’d tried to stay so many times, he hated that he was doing this to you and part of him was proud of you for confronting him, he deserved it. You deserved better, you deserved better than someone who got left you for weeks with no explanation.

“Don’t do that.” He said as he stroked your hair. “Don’t assume this is your fault, it’s not. It’s mine. I’m the one with the problem, not you.” He said and you let a few more stray tears fall and he kissed them away. “I’m sorry. I am, I don’t know what else to say.” He said and you stuffed your face back into his chest, finding comfort in his embrace.

This is the last time you’ll do it, the last time you’ll allow yourself to let him do this again. He knew it too, he knew this would be the last time he held you and it was enough to have him crying again. He wished he could be better for you but he couldn’t and you couldn’t suffer for that any longer.

“Please can you stay?” You sound yourself asking. “Just for one last night, please?” You almost begged and he nodded. He stayed with you that night, you saying your goodbyes to each other, leaving no inch of skin untouched as you were his for one final night. You let yourself fall into his arms for the final time and you both knew it.

Tom didn’t want to leave this time, something about the finality of it scared him, he didn’t want you completely out of his life but he couldn’t do this to you. He woke up well before you did and found himself moving stray strands of hair out of your face as he took you in one final time. Placing a kiss to your cheek as he left you for good. He knew that although he was feeling this way now, he wanted to stay now, he couldn’t risk your feelings if he felt differently in a week.

When you woke up the next morning he was gone, you didn’t feel the same sadness you had before, it was different. You got closure, you both understood that this couldn’t carry on, that you couldn’t keep falling back into his arms even though you didn’t want to. It was getting harder to fight the urge to just accept whatever it was between the two of you but that battle had ended now, you’d miss him, you would, but this was for the best. You wanted him to stay and commit but he couldn’t and you couldn’t keep falling back into his arms and allowing the cycle to continue.

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #tom holland angst #tom holland x y/n

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itsamejin · 4 years

Text

leave me || part 4 || suga angst || finale

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

Warning: angst, cheating, cursing

Summary: He’s cheating and you’re aware. You just don’t know what to do about it.

–

Yoongi sat in front of Jieun’s high-rise apartment complex on a bench, suffering from the cold but ultimately unfazed. The argument that occurred only hours before hurt more than this. The tears had dried by then and the only thing that was stopping him from making his way up to her penthouse suite was the terrible numbness in his heart.

He felt so emotionally exhausted from what happened just a few hours earlier that he found himself in front of her apartment without much thought. It was like instinct to always come back here in the middle of the night. No matter if he was drunk or stressed, Jieun’s apartment would always be the place Yoongi found himself in.

He always came after a late night of drinking or after a particularly heated argument with you. He felt safer with her, but now Yoongi wonders if he’ll ever get a chance to right his wrongs if he didn’t break up with Jieun- to expose his wrongdoings and have a clean break. Somehow the thought of letting her go too made his heart clench even more.

Yoongi made his way into the lobby and with several deep breaths, finally got in the elevator. He pressed the button to the highest floor where Jieun resided.

The doors opened and it was then he realized that there was no turning back. Jieun was in her own living room, back facing Yoongi, as she scrolled through her phone with a wine glass in hand. She jumped slightly at the sound of the elevator opening and smiled when she saw that it was Yoongi who came up.

“Yoongi! You should have called,” she said excitedly, turning off her phone.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” he said, sorrow slightly hinted in his voice.

“Are you feeling better now, babe?” she asked as she walked up to him, wine glass still in hand. She pulled him into a short embrace and sighed into his shoulder.

“I’ve missed you,” she said quietly.

For a moment, Yoongi forgot about the argument that happened earlier. That all was right in the world and that he had both you and her by his side. He felt so selfish at that moment, but it was the truth. His feelings were so muddled he couldn’t choose between the two of you. Yoongi knew he loved you, he was sure of it. But it was something in the way Jieun carried herself that took Yoongi’s breath away just the same. He felt a lump in his throat form as he thought of it.

It should’ve been then when he confessed to Jieun of all his wrongdoings. It should have been then when he got down on his knees and begged for forgiveness- and yet the way she stared up at him without a hint of disgust or sadness had only reminded him that at least Jieun still loved him. Irrevocably and without question, Jieun was still in love with Yoongi.

Maybe that’s why instead of spilling his heart out to her, Yoongi took her wine glass and gulped it down for himself and sat it aside on a nearby table. Maybe that’s why instead of leaving the apartment with any semblance of pride left, he took Jieun by the waist and kissed her deeply. Maybe instead of leading Jieun back into the living room and pushing her down onto the couch, he could’ve told her that he had knowingly broken her heart.

But Yoongi knew what kind of person he was and so he didn’t utter a single word after. Instead, Yoongi undressed Jieun to distract himself from his own guilt.

–

Sitting at home with your chin tucked between your knees, you replayed the conversation with Yoongi from just a few hours ago. You should have at least apologized, you thought. He did deserve an explanation at the very least, but you were too caught up in your own heated emotions that you lashed out on him. How could you expect him to know what you were going through without telling him first?

No, you sighed. He deserved it.

You stood up from the comfort of your couch and raided your fridge for ice cream. It seemed to be your best friend for the past few weeks. Instead of immediately grabbing the large tub from the freezer, the sight of frozen crab sticks next to it almost brought you to tears. It reminded you so much of your first date with Yoongi all those years ago at a sushi place where you ended up paying because his check from his part-time job hadn’t come in yet.

It was much simpler back then. He didn’t have to wear hats or masks to go out on dates. He didn’t have this facade that he was someone better than he truly was. Yoongi was just Yoongi and that’s all you could’ve asked from him.

The number of times he apologized for not being able to pay for such a cheap date brought a small smile to your face. Yoongi made it up to you later that day by taking you to a secret rooftop spot to watch the sunset together. The first time you ever felt his lips on yours, the first time you felt like love would actually last.

You banged your head against your fist to get rid of the sweet images of him in your mind.

“For the love of God, please forget about him,” you muttered to yourself repeatedly. Without even realizing, you shed tears as you gripped the freezer handle with a new purpose. You stood there crying and crying until your mother walked downstairs to see what all the commotion was in the middle of the night. She rushed over to you.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked worriedly.

“I hate him,” you said, trying to convince yourself of something that wasn’t true. “I hate him so much.”

You hoped that he was alone in that stupid apartment, crying to himself and hurting just as much as you. That he regretted every single mistake he made and that his sins would live with him forever. You wished for him to hate himself as much as you hated him.

“Baby it’s alright,” she cooed. “Things will get better. They always do.”

God, you hope it will.

–

The morning came and the guilt came with it. Yoongi stroked Jieun’s hair, as they laid on the couch, nothing but a silk blanket between them. As he stared at the penthouse’s beautiful view of Seoul, he tried to ignore his clothes strewn across the floor. He shouldn’t have come in the first place if all he was going to do was hurt her even more. He tried to get up as silently as he could, but Jieun felt his warm presence leave and attempted to have him lay back down.

“Don’t go yet or I’ll miss you again,” she muttered cutely, her eyes closed and cheeks puffed. He chuckled sadly and pulled her up with him. He held onto her and smiled.

“I’m just gonna go to the restroom, okay?” he said softly, trying to move the stray hairs away from her face. Jieun nodded, but her eyes were still closed.

Yoongi stood up as she collapsed back onto the couch, the thin blanket covering her naked form. He sighed as he grabbed his boxers and gray sweatpants from the ground and put it on. Just a little while longer and then he’d tell her. He was sure that he would.

As Yoongi brushed his teeth and washed his face, he noticed how red his eyes were from the night before. No wonder Jieun had looked so concerned for him yesterday, he looked like a fucking mess.

Yoongi took a deep breath as he studied his reflection once again. He was thankful that Jieun still took him in and comforted him without question, that she had that much loyalty towards him. Yoongi wished he could have reciprocated the amount of love either of you gave him.

Yoongi rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands. He didn’t want to lose her too.

When Yoongi walked back into the living room, all semblance of contentment washed away because Jieun was there, clearly awake and somewhat dressed, holding a ring that he should not have brought with him in the first place. After you stormed off without it, he had put it in his pocket without thinking. He saw Jieun’s clenched jaw and angry pupils. There was no way he could avoid this situation.

“What are you doing?” he asked as kindly as he could.

“Why do you have this ring?” Jieun asked rigidly, looking back and forth between the ring and Yoongi. “It’s too small for you.”

Yoongi pursed his lips as he walked closer towards her.

“Listen, Jieun,” he started slowly, “I have to tell you something.”

Jieun knew where this was going. She had a feeling ever since Jin told her off that one night. Actually, she might have had a feeling even before then when he started his bar-hopping escapades and coming to her apartment drunker than usual. It was all leading to one thing and one thing only.

“What’s going on Yoongi?” she asked as she put down the ring on her coffee table. She stood up to meet eyes with him.

Yoongi took a deep breath. There was no real way of saying this without it hurting. He was prepared right then for her to slap him in the face.

“I had a girlfriend before you and I started dating,” he eased in, gauging her reaction that quickly turned sour. “And I never broke up with her... I just...”

It took every part of herself to not collapse onto the floor. The pain was unbearable. It seared into her as she looked into his cloudy eyes. Cheating was one thing. Being the second girl was another. In some sick way, Jieun felt dirty.

“I’ve been cheating on her with you,” he said shakily. “And I regret it so, so much.”

She stared at him, sadness and disgust laced in her gaze. Jieun couldn’t help but bite her lip to stop it from quivering. She felt trapped in her own home. As she looked up at Yoongi, he looked like a different person altogether. Not the caring and compassionate senior who showed her around his studio, not the silly boy who’d play with her pinky toe as they played a horror movie that both he and her were too afraid to watch. Before her eyes, she didn’t see the Yoongi who seemed invincible to the world’s judgment and prejudices. Instead, she saw a broken man with tired eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

“You regret being with me?” she asked, trying to appear strong but her shaky voice had given it away.

He shook his head frantically, kneeling beside her.

“No, not that. Never that,” he said, trying to take her hand but having it pushed away. “I shouldn’t have hurt either of you. That’s what I regret.”

“How long,” she asked quietly and continued on when he looked confused. “How long were you with her before you met me?”

It seemed like a pointless question. He cheated point black period. There would be no silver lining to this, she thought. She just wanted to know how long she was ruining another girl’s life.

“I was with her before I even became a trainee,” he said in a whisper. “I was with her for six years.”

It was then she heard the sound of her own heart breaking. Any semblance of hope had drained from her eyes. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“How could you?” she whimpered as she pushed him even further away, getting up from the couch. “Yoongi, how could you do that to her? How could you do that to me?”

He closed his eyes to compose himself. His throat was dry. All he wanted was a glass of water, but he had to keep talking. He needed to fix things.

"We should break up,” he said, although every part of his body screamed to stop talking. “You deserve so much better.”

She nodded in agreement, but a small part of her wanted him to stay. To crawl onto his knees and tell her that he chose her.... that he loved her more.

“I think you should go,” she said, turning her back towards him.

“I should,” he agreed. He stood up and grabbed his coat from the floor. Yoongi walked towards her slowly. It took every part of himself not to completely collapse on her body and ask for a second chance, but Yoongi knew that he didn’t deserve it. Jieun was too good for him and you were too.

As a last goodbye, Yoongi embraced her from behind and kissed the back of her head. She didn’t have the energy to push him off. Even if she was disgusted with Yoongi, she missed this. Jieun missed thinking that she was the only girl in Yoongi’s world. As she stood there, with her eyes closed, it felt like just a few minutes ago when they weren’t fighting.

Yoongi cried into her shoulder.

“I know it’s selfish that I’m saying this all right now, but I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. Nothing about what I did was your fault.”

He gulped as he heard her let out a sob.

“I love you, Jieun. I loved you so much when I shouldn’t have.”

The two stood there, clutching each other as if their life depended on it. There was something she couldn’t quite shake off and she needed to know.

“What’s her name?” Jieun asked.

He pulled away sadly and tried to look into her eyes but she avoided contact.

“Why?”

“Just tell me, Yoongi.”

He sighed and let her go hesitantly.

“[Y/N].”

It was the sound of your name that had made Jieun ball up her fists in anger. She collapsed to the floor hugging her knees as she cried into them. There really was no going back was there?

“You told me she was your sister,” she sobbed.

Yoongi crouched next to her and cried onto her back.

“I’m sorry,” he would say repeatedly until the words no longer held any meaning to her.

–

It didn't get easier as the days passed. You thought the blunt piercing in your chest would eventually fade, but three weeks after that conversation and it was still hard to get out of bed in the morning. Just a week before, Big Hit had announced Yoongi and Jieun breaking up from “busy schedules” and “bad timing.” You knew better, though... you just hoped Jieun was the one to break it off, not him.

You sighed deeply to yourself as you picked out clothes to wear later that day. You were finally heading back to work after weeks of paid sick leave, unable to come to work as you recovered from the illness that was Min Yoongi. You desperately needed a cup of coffee, but your parents refused to carry anymore around because they didn’t like the smell of it. I’ll just have to go to a cafe, you thought to yourself.

After getting dressed, you called a cab to the nearest cafe that was within walking distance from your workplace. The eye-bags that haunted your face was still visible, but the taxi driver was kind enough to not point them out.

You ordered your usual and watched as yet another couple sat down at a table, drooling over themselves as they fed each other cute cakes and tiny sandwiches. You scoffed at the lovely pairs that surrounded you. Call it pessimism or bitterness, but you couldn’t stand the sight of couples that resembled your past relationship so much.

“Number 53, number 53,” the worker at the counter called. You made your way to grab your drink until a hand that reached out first got a hold of it before you. The fingers looked familiar and the scent of the person was just too distinct to ignore. You looked up and was met with a masked figure wearing sunglasses.

Jieun.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry I thought he said 64,” she said as she pulled her hand away. She hadn’t quite looked at you yet, but when she did, you swore hell froze over. She stared at you blankly and you couldn’t quite decipher what was going on in her mind. The glasses were tinted so black that you couldn’t even see her eyes underneath.

“You’re [Y/N] right?” she asked cautiously, tucking a strand of her hair back.

You nodded as you finally grabbed the drink from the counter. You took a sip from it. Bitter.

“I’m Jieun,” she said softly. “But I think you already know that.”

You could see in her eyes that she wanted to reach out and shake your hand, but it already felt a little too late to do that.

“Yeah,” you replied back curtly not knowing how to continue the conversation.

“Actually, I’m glad I bumped into you,” she said, apprehension laced in her voice. “I wanted to talk... about Yoongi.”

You sighed and checked the time on your watch. It wouldn’t be another hour until your shift started and you felt like you needed to hear what Jieun wanted to say anyways.

“I’m free for a bit.”

She smiled sadly towards you and took off her sunglasses to reveal tired eyes.

Jieun led you a table in the corner of the cafe, hidden by various plants. It was then that she took off her face mask. She looked exhausted, resembling you quite a bit just a few weeks before. She looked at you, searching for a way to start the much-needed conversation.

“[Y/N],” she said hesitantly. “I found out the day after I bumped into you. Yoongi told me everything after I found your ring on him.”

You stared up at her, unable to take a sip out of your coffee. “And?” you asked, more curious than infuriated.

You could tell she was about ready to cry. You wanted to comfort her, truly you did, but maybe it was the bitterness that stopped you from reaching out to her.

“I’m sorry, [Y/N]. I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault.”

You shook your head in understanding.

“I thought it was my fault too, but it’s not. Yoongi dug his own grave, Jieun,” you replied reassuringly.

She chuckled slightly.

“But you know what the crazy thing is?” she asked hesitantly.

“What?”

Jieun took a moment to herself as she stared down at her fingers, fiddling with them nervously.

“I miss him, [Y/N] and I feel like I’m going crazy,” she said shakily. “Every time I see him in real life I can’t help but feel like I need him back in my life. I just... I don’t think I can live without him.”

It seemed that Jieun had grown codependent on Yoongi throughout the months they were together. It was unfortunate, but you could definitely relate to her. You were once like that at one point in your life, choosing to still be with him even though he had another woman.

“You don’t need him as much as you think you do Jieun,” you said, taking her hand from across the table into yours. “Trust me.”

You don’t really know who you were trying to convince. You weren’t even fully over Yoongi yet and here you were, offering advice to the other girl that contributed to your broken heart.

She sighed shakily and shook her head.

“I know it’s stupid. I know I shouldn’t forgive him, but I love him so much,” she said, clenching your hand into hers.

You took out a handkerchief and gave it to Jieun, wiping away her tears with it. Her eye makeup slightly getting smudged.

“You’re a strong girl Jieun,” you said sternly. “And you’ll be so much better off without him.”

She stared up into your eyes and chuckled slightly.

“I hope so. You seem to be doing fine,” she replied.

If she only knew.

–

Four years later...

Your small conversation with Jieun had stuck with you throughout the years, never really escaping your mind. The two of you never saw each other again and to your dismay, Jieun did end up getting back together with Yoongi two years after the incident. They created waves in the Korean media, for weeks their love story was plastered everywhere The first celebrities to admit a reconciliation! The headlines alone made you want to gag.

It was another two years later since your least favorite couple got back together when they announced their happy engagement. You shouldn’t have been angry. In fact, it made you upset that you were even getting worked up over something that happened four years ago. It was still fresh in your memory. The nights Yoongi spent with her, the tears you cried, the youth you had given up for him.

It was hard to admit that deep down inside, you never truly got over Min Yoongi. He’d send you flowers every year on your anniversary date with cards that said “I’m sorry” but he never contacted you at all other than that. He followed through with your wishes to never see him again and you were thankful for that.

Sometimes, when the loneliness was too unbearable, you’d wish he was hurting just as bad as you. You hoped that Jieun was just a distraction and that she never fully replaced the amount of love and acceptance you gave him.

It made your blood boil at the thought of Yoongi enjoying his life on a beautiful penthouse with a gorgeous and naive girlfriend at his side and praise from all of his fans. No one knew about you and no one will ever know. You could never truly forgive Yoongi for what he had taken away from you, but you still propped the flowers up near your window every time he sent them.

You tried to get over him several times and date other people, but the trust issues you carried from your previous relationship were never really resolved. You were never one for one night stands and long term relationships were a hassle too. You were stuck in this in-between area in your life where nothing really felt right and no one ever filled the void that Yoongi left in you.

You were starting to worry that no one ever would.

–

You walked down the streets of Seoul, coming back to visit from Daegu for a college reunion. Everyone was married and couldn’t stop talking about it. You got an old colleague’s phone number that you didn’t plan on calling and everyone asked you about your mysterious ex-boyfriend they never got to meet. Needless to say, you were craving to find a place that served the strongest alcohol.

You found one, neatly tucked away in one of the various city alleyways, playing loud pop music and reruns of old sitcoms on the television. Alone at a table for two, pouring yourself soju until your heart stopped hurting as much as it did and the exhaustion had numbed.

It wasn’t like you hated your life. You traveled frequently with your high-paying job and you lived comfortably by yourself in Daegu. Your friends often told you that you smiled brighter than you did before and your parents stopped worrying about you just as much.

It was just the idea of Jieun wearing a ring that could have been yours... it made you sick to your stomach. It just wasn’t fair. Were you supposed to forgive him? Were you supposed to live the rest of your life never truly trusting him?

No. You were sure you made the right decision then. It’s just, during nights like these, you wondered if the hollow feeling in your heart was from you still loving him or the bitterness that came with leaving such a long term relationship.

“[Y/N]?”

You heard your name in the sea of people around you and it came from someone that you no longer recognized.

“Yoongi,” you slurred, staring directly at the man who walked towards you. Just like Jieun on that day, he had on sunglasses and a face mask. His voice was still the same, but it sounded foreign to you.

“Crazy I ran into you here,” he said awkwardly.

“Yeah.”

It looked like he had something to say and it made you antsy.

“I actually wanted to see you,” he said softly, taking the seat across from you. “I was gonna visit home and drop by your parent’s place.”

“I don’t live there anymore,” you said, grabbing your shot glass and pouring another drink.

“I know. Your friends told me,” he said shyly. “You get the flowers fine, right?”

You stared up at him. Despite his disguise, you could tell he was happy and not the kind that was temporary or disingenuous. He legitimately looked like life had dealt him a lucky hand and that made you chug down the soju much more quickly.

“What did you want to see me for?” you said, signaling to one of the servers to give you another bottle. Third one for the night.

“I wanted to give you this,” he said pulling out a small card from the inside of his coat pocket. It didn’t take a genius to know what it was.

A wedding invitation.

You scoffed quietly and took it in your hand, opening it carefully as to not stain it with alcohol. The colors were minty and showcased a lovely photo of Yoongi and Jieun in front of a tall forest, looking into each other’s eyes longingly. It hurt to admit, but they were in love. You missed when Yoongi looked at you like that.

“I don’t have any ill intentions giving you this,” he started, realizing the sour look on your face. “I want you to come because you were my best friend before you were my girlfriend. You were with me through thick and thin and I’ll forever be grateful for that.”

You couldn’t see his eyes through the sunglasses, but you could tell he was being truthful. It warmed your heart, just a little, but it also made you want to cry. Whenever you imagined a wedding, you had always seen Yoongi and you walking down that aisle together. That it would be your dad that led you to him and that his cute nephew would hand you two the rings. That you would be the one he’d recite his vows to. It’s crazy how this was where you two were now, in a shady pub talking as if you were strangers.

You set the invitation down and pushed the shot glass away from you.

“Yoongi, I don’t want to go,” you said as calmly as you could. It was better to be honest in these situations than regret it later on.

He only nodded back in response, knowing that you’d refuse his offer.

“That’s okay,” he said sadly. “I don’t want to force you. Just know that you’re welcome to come. I want you there and Jieun does too.”

You sighed. Yoongi felt like a different person. Whether it was a character development or him being overly polite, you didn’t like the idea of him being civil.

“Is that all you wanted to talk about?”

He shook his head.

“No,” he replied. “I actually wanted to thank you instead of apologizing this time.”

You tilted your head out of curiosity.

“Thank me? For what?”

If he was going to say thank you for tolerating his unfaithfulness so that he could eventually get married to his mistress, you swore you’d have punched him in the mouth. But he didn’t say that. Because like it or not, Yoongi did change.

“I wanted to thank you for being supportive of me, even when I had nothing,” he said. “And thank you for not forgiving me.”

“Why would you thank me for that?” you asked, slightly tense.

He smiled a bit.

“I needed to be single for a while to figure out what was wrong with me,” he chuckled slightly. “Jieun and I only got back together after I started attending AA meetings. I learned a lot there.”

You nodded your head in understanding, swigging around the soju bottle and wondering why the server had not come back with a new one yet. You had only tolerated him up to that point because you were tipsy, but now that you were sobering up, all you wanted to do was pour a drink over him.

“I’m really sorry for everything,” Yoongi said solemnly.

You glanced at him. It would be okay to lie just a little, right?

“You don’t need to apologize anymore Yoongi,” you said, rolling your eyes slightly. “I got over it pretty quickly.”

You enjoyed the slight look of pain that Yoongi had on him, even through the face mask.

“That’s good [Y/N],” he said. “You deserve way more than what I gave to you.”

You were just about to reply when his phone went off from a call notification. He looked at you apologetically and stood up.

“I have to leave, [Y/N], but call me if you ever need anything.”

Before answering the call, he waited a bit and sighed.

“It’s the least I could do for you,” he said quietly.

Even if you were to ask him to come back, beg to him on the spot that you’d give anything to be with him again, you knew that he’d kindly reject because you knew that Yoongi’s love was long gone by now and even when he was cheating you felt it wane a bit. You scoffed at your own heart breaking as you stared at his walking silhouette.

When Yoongi left, the new soju bottle you requested for finally came. And somehow, as you popped the lid open, you started to cry. The tears in your eyes were enough to fill the shot glass in your hand.

You wished that you could hate him, but your heart wouldn’t let you.... because he was still Yoongi and you were still you.

At one point in your life, that used to be enough.

–

A/N: Finally done! I hope y'all are okay with this ending. I knew that I didn’t want it to be the stereotypical “I’m better without him” because sometimes that’s just not realistic.

I don’t really know what to do after this so please send requests in my ask box I’m dying to write angst. Thank you all for the numerous support, I read all of your comments in the ask box and they always bring a smile to my face! I appreciate it very much <3

Tags: @jaiuneamesolitaiire @milady-mira @somewhereinthestarss @yunkibts @cuteipat @xanny91 @mllelise

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prettygirlcore · 4 years

Text

fall - hwang hyunjin

a/n: i think i’m gonna start putting summaries on my posts, but don’t expect them to be good because i suck at that.

i also used like a million pet names because i find them really sweet and endearing. hyunjin’s a boy i want to protect, ya know?

warnings: fainting, hyunjin overworking himself :(((, and just overall sad vibes.

summary: hyunjin’s worried about being good enough, so he starts to work harder; that doesn’t end well.

hyunjin’s rarely late. being on time is usually something he holds himself to and when he knows he’ll be late, he’ll text you and let you know. but you haven’t heard anything from him since morning and he’s an hour late to your scheduled date. admittedly, you were just going to eat dinosaur chicken nuggets in your pajamas and watch tv, but all your stay-at-home dates are memories that you really cherish and value.

so you call him. and he doesn’t answer. at this point you’re more worried than annoyed, so your next resort is to call chan. hopefully you didn’t have to resort to calling jyp themselves.

“y/n? what is it? is everything okay?”

“chan, thank god you picked up, do you know where hyunjin is?”

“he’s still in the practice room. we told him he should get home to you, but he said that you’d be gone so he doesn’t have anything better to do but run through his sets a few more times,”

“Uhm no? i’m at home?? waiting for him???”

“maybe he forgot?”

“hyunjin’s capable of forgetting many things, our weekly dates isn’t one of them,”

“do you want me to get him for you?”

“no, just… let him be, i guess. whatever he’s doing is important to him, anyway,”

“y/n-”

“bye chris,”

you said before hanging up the phone, not giving chan a chance to finish. it was so incredibly embarrassing to think that hyunjin probably knew you were waiting for him, but didn’t care. maybe he was with someone else, since he was in a position where he’d be alone for a few hours. god you felt so dumb. chan felt pity for you and your stupid, dumb idea that hyunjin actually cared to make it to your stupid date.

you sit there, scrolling through a bunch of different apps, trying to distract yourself from how horrible you felt for a good twenty minutes, when...

your phone is ringing again.

chan is calling you again.

you watch his face light up your phone, you can hear the ringtone, and yet, you don’t pick up. maybe it was the underlying rage you felt towards hyunjin, or the absolute hatred you felt at chan’s pitiful voice when you almost broke down crying during the first call.

chan’s call fades out as you officially ignore his call and send him to voicemail, but he calls again.

you still don’t answer.

he calls you again.

once again, you can’t find it in you to answer.

he calls you a good five more times, maybe more, you don’t remember. all you know is that this ringtone is starting to annoy you. you move to put your phone on do not disturb, but before you can hit the button, you were getting another call.

guess who it was?

wrong.

you think to yourself if minho, of all people, is calling me, maybe i should answer it.

so you do.

“minho-”

“yah! what the hell? why weren’t you answering chan’s calls?”

“minho i don’t want to talk about it right now-”

“oh my god y/n for one minute stop thinking about you and your feelings! for just once in your life! hyunjin’s at the hospital!”

hospital?

hyunjin was at the hospital??

you were shocked, stunned into silence that you completely disregarded minho on the other line until he brought you back to reality.

“y/n?”

“a-ah, i’m sorry, why is he at the hospital?”

“they think he fainted from a combination of a lack of sleep and dehydration. he’s not awake right now, but the doctors assume he will be soon. he took a pretty bad fall when he fainted, and because he was all alone, nobody knew anything had happened to him until you called chan about him,”

“did he break anything when he fainted?”

“no, he just has a pretty nasty bruise on his side. agh, why am i explaining all of this to you? just get over here, okay? he’ll want to see you when he wakes up,”

completely disregarding all the irritation you had felt a second before, you thanked minho and grabbed your car keys, heading over to the hospital. you were driving faster than was safe, but it didn’t matter. hyunjin has fainted when you assumed he was cheating. what an asshole you were.

seeing him in that bed, all pale and weak-looking, truly made you think. had you paid any attention to hyunjin these past few days? you were sure he was fine just the other day, if a bit tired looking. he did also seem weaker. but you just took that as something sleep could fix.

maybe the last time you had seen him was yesterday, but you haven’t really seen him since maybe a week ago, your last date. he’s been so busy, you just assumed he was sleeping at the dorms when he wasn't sleeping next to you. was he really not sleeping at all?

you were pulled from your thoughts when his hand started to squeeze yours, a telltale sign he was waking up. you looked over at him, and his eyes were closed but you could tell he was drifting out of sleep.

“don’t try to get up, sweetie, you’re a bit weak right now,”

“y-y/n…? where am i?”

“you’re okay, you’re just at the hospital,”

“o-oh, um, look i’m really sorry for causing so much trouble and for missing our date, i didn’t mean to i just got caught up in practicing-”

“practicing doesn’t come before your health, jinnie, you know that,”

“i know but i was so worried about this past comeback and i feel like i didn’t do my best and you know jyp never gives us a break and i just have to be better-,”

“hyunjin,”

“y/n i have to be more than just a pretty face. i can’t be remembered as just a visual, i have other talents! i promise that i’m just working harder so i can show that there’s more to me than my looks,”

“stop, please, just stop,”

“y/n-”

“do you think i’m okay with seeing you like this? do you think the boys are okay with seeing you like this? what about stay? do you think they could fully enjoy anything you’re making knowing that you had to resort to unhealthy habits like not sleeping and forgetting to drink water?”

“i mean no i guess not, but this wasn’t supposed to happen-”

“what was supposed to happen, hyunjin? were you just going to keep carrying on practicing day and night, destroying your body, all while not talking to me about this?”

“you shouldn’t have to deal with-”

“that’s not up to you to decide what i should or shouldn’t deal with! because i’m here now, dealing with the aftermath of what you did,”

“... you’re right, i’m sorry, y/n,”

you suddenly realize that you’ve stood up from the chair you were sitting in. you’re also towering over him, since he’s laying in a hospital bed, and your angry expression and pointed finger in his direction probably didn’t help. he does look kind of scared of you.

“ah, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you. i was just really worried, i felt really helpless when i first saw you laying there, so i’m sorry if that was too much. i’ll check in with you doctor and see when we can get you home, sweetie,”

you say with a kiss on his forehead, and suddenly he’s alone again. like he was in the practice room. he didn’t like to be alone, more specifically, he didn’t like to be without you.

the doctors do plenty of tests to make sure there wasn’t anything else that contributed to his faint, but hyunjin is soon in the comforts of your arms and bed finally. he cuddles up close to you, resting his head against your chest. he feels safe when he heard your heartbeat.

“jinnie?”

“hmmm?”

“can we talk?”

“y-yes, sure,”

he looks like he doesn’t want to move, so you don’t force him to. his voice is slightly muffled but you can still make out what he says, so it’s not a big deal.

“you said you started practicing more because you were worried that you didn’t do good enough,”

“uhm, y-yeah, that’s why,”

“jinnie, darling, what made you feel that way?”

he looked at you like a deer in headlights, before resting his head in your lap. you run your fingers through his long hair, but it’s not enough to calm him.

“i… i see the things they say. i know it shouldn’t get to me, that i shouldn’t let it get to me, but it does. i can’t just tell myself to stop thinking about their criticisms like you want me to, it doesn’t work that way,”

you were almost taken aback by his slightly aggressive attitude, but you let it go. he’s not in the state of mind to care to watch what he says. with all that he’s feeling, it would be selfish to put the spotlight on you.

“i’m sorry, jinnie. i can tell it’s hard, so much more than i know. i can empathize and try to help you but i’ll never know what it truly feels like,”

it’s silent for another minute or two, the silence isn’t unbearable, but it’s awkward.

“how can i help you, jinnie? what would make your life easier right now?”

he’s quick to dismiss you, say you don’t need to do anything, but you speak up again before he can respond.

“and don’t tell me i don’t need to do anything. i want to help you,”

he smiles, somewhat sadly as he looks down to avoid looking you in the eye.

“just…”

“yeah?”

“...please be there for me,”

he looks up at you with watery eyes, and before you crush him in another hug, he speaks once more,

“please be there to catch me if i fall,”

#stray kids #stray kids drabbles #stray kids imagines #stray kids writing #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin angst

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honeyggukk · 6 years

Text

LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION (M)

pairing: camboy/roommate!taehyung x f!reader

genre: smut

word count: 6.6k

warning/contains: dom!tae, dirty talk, fingering, oral (giving and receiving), squirting, hair pulling, light choking, back scratching, unprotected sex, masturbation (male and female), etc.

a/n: there may be some typos. please excuse them and i hope you enjoy.

You threw your bag on your kitchen floor in a huff before angrily kicking your painful work shoes off. Your feet were screaming in agony, all you wanted was to put your feet in a hot bath. Your eyes immediately scanned the room to access the appearance of your apartment. Your roommate, Taehyung adopted the habit of leaving the house a total mess and expect you to clean it. Fortunately, this time everything seemed okay - at least you didn’t have to murder him today. Your eyes landed on Taehyung who was sat on the sofa, legs and eyes spread wide as he watched the gripping TV show.

You’ve lived with Tae for quite a few years now and he has seen you like this more often than you would like to admit. You had recognized his name one day as you were scrolling through your Facebook feed when you saw he was struggling to find a roommate. When you moved in you asked why it took so long to find a roommate - the rent he offered was cheaper than everywhere else, so what was the issue?

He told you he had a tendency to be ‘loud’, although you weren’t really sure what that meant. To you, he had never been loud. Sure, he gets excitable at times but nothing unbearable.

However, here you were again. Drenched at the door with soaking wet hair and a very angry looking facial expression to match. “Whats up?” he questioned, already knowing the answer.

Nothing can make you feel frustration and anger quite like working does. It was only a part time waitress job, one that you worked at in between classes in order to pay for your rent. Yet it barely covered the rent, Taehyung always ended up paying extra just to cover your broke ass.

Your boss was a complete dickhead who constantly always underpaid you, yet found himself giving you the most hours out of everyone. And you wouldn’t mind, if your pay was sufficient enough - but it’s not. It’s a constant struggle to balance college work with actual work, and you never ever have free time. Customers were always rude and blamed you for everything, even though all you did was deliver the food to the table. If you had $1 for every time you reminded someone that you didn’t actually cook the meal, you swear that you would be rich. And to make it better, you had to walk home in the pouring rain.

You sighed as you removed your dampened work blouse, discarding it to the side as you headed for the kitchen, desperately needing a snack to cure your hunger. You stayed silent, hoping to avoid the conversation but knowing Taehyung and his tendency to care for you, that wouldn’t happen. Even after coming home everyday for seven months moody and sad due to whatever had happened that day, he never took no for an answer. You could never deny the fact that he genuinely cares for you.

“Come here and talk to me, you brat” he called after you, jokingly. Your feet drag along the wooden floor as you begrudgingly make your way towards him, taking a seat on the sofa beside him, still topless. There was never any awkwardness between you two. You can’t recall how many times you have seen each other clothed by accident, but that somehow ended up in you two walking around the apartment almost completely naked, so you definitely couldn’t deny the sexual tension that was constantly between you two.

You have spent many nights thinking about his hands roaming all over you, and unlike others you had no shame about it. You found your roommate hot, what was the big deal?

“Fucking work. I have had the worst day ever!” you exclaim, finally ranting to him. You hear him giggle at your frustration as you sit beside him.

“You tell me that everyday. Just quit”. Well, he wasn’t wrong.

“Taehyung, I can’t quit” you say louder and angrier than expected. “I need the money! I already owe you over 350″, you sigh.

“Babe, the money doesn’t matter to me”. He reassured you.

“I’d rather see you happy everyday when you come home rather than looking like you want to murder someone. You can find another job” he continued.

“I can’t. I can’t afford to quit. I might not find another job and even if I do it’s probably going to take months. I don’t have that type of money to owe you Tae” you whisper, voice a lot softer this time.

He sighs, wrapping his large arm around you in attempt to give you comfort, just like he always does. His actions spoke better than his words sometimes. Your nights mostly considered of cuddling on the sofa or going out to eat ice cream together with your hands intertwined or your arms linked. Most people would think you were a couple, but the physical contact between both of you was just a part of the friendship. Including drunken nights spent together. Well, you haven’t gone all the way, or even halfway there but you both have shared many heated make out sessions.

You snuggled in closer, in the mood for his affection. He made you feel better even if it was just by being there and he knew that. “Well then, I don’t know what you want me to do or say. My opinion is you should quit, and I’m not sure I can take another seven months of you walking in here upset. It upsets me too, ya know?” He spoke, lifting your chin up to look him.

You nodded, understanding him. “I’m sorry, I’ll think about it”, you spoke in attempt to compromise with him.

“Thank you. Feel better?” He questioned while rubbing this thumb along your arm. “Yeah”, you smiled. “Although I still feel like I want to scream”, you admitted.

“Then scream” He spoke back casually, causing you to giggle at his causal manner.

“Tae, I’m not gonna force myself scream right now. The neighbors will think I’m getting murdered”, you laughed through hiccups due to your previous tears.

“Then let me make you scream”, he whispered into your ear causing you to gulp. You looked at him with wide eyes, not sure if you took his words the right way.

His beautiful big eyes stared back at you, eyes wide with innocence,yet a shade darker with lust. Did he really just say that, so casually? He had worked you up just by whispering six small words in your ear and you could tell he was proud of that.

After slowly nodding, his soft plump lips met your cheek, causing you to blush even more. You felt his large hand make its way to the nape of your neck, pulling you closer to his slightly wet lips. Too many nights you have spent dreaming about touching him, feeling his warm breath on your face while looking into his now glistening eyes. You couldn’t help feel the excitement built in between your thighs as your lips connected with his, finally.

The kiss was gentle and not rushed in the slightest, both of you wanting to string out this moment for as long as possible. The heat between your legs built up confidence inside you as you bit gently on his lower lip, desperately needing more friction and contact. He took the hint, deepening the kiss with his tongue and swiftly moving you so you were laying below him on the couch.

If you took a photo of the god like man in front of you, you could make millions just by selling it. Grey hair half stuck to his forehead, half pushed back with eyes almost turning black from lust. God, he was so hot.

Your legs spread wide enough for his body to fit between them, slowly grinding his hardened member against your clothed core. A moan escaped your lips, but was muffled by his mouth which was still connected to yours. You reached out your hand attempting to feel his pulsing member in your own hands, earning a tut from the sweaty man above you.

“This is about you babygirl” he whispered, lips now traveling down your body, sending fireworks through your veins.

“But I promise I’m wet enough for you already”, you wiggled impatiently, your core clenching around nothing as the need to feel him inside of you grew.

“Doubt that” he chuckled. His hands traveled to unbuckle your work pants in order to check for himself. His long fingers made their way beyond your lace underwear and glided their way through your dripping folds. “Never mind” he giggled after feeling your juices for himself.

“Can we go to your bedroom?” You asked, since he had the bigger bed out of the two of you. Since he had found the apartment, you drew the short straw and got the smaller bedroom. You couldn’t complain though, it was a bed to sleep on after all.

“Fuck the bedroom, I wanna eat you out right here “ he groaned, voice now significantly raspier and deeper. You could tell he was becoming impatient. You knew you would be more comfortable sprawled out on his bed, but the way he spoke to you turned you on way too much for you to even attempt to argue against his wishes.

You moaned a little too loudly at his words, feeling his smirk grow against your neck. If your knees didn’t feel week already you would switch positions with him and give him the ride of his life, just to wipe that stupid smirk off his face.

“Oh, does someone like it when I talk like that, hmm?” He questioned, catching on to the real reason behind your moan. Physically, you couldn’t bring yourself to openly admit what kind of affect his words had on you. Although, that didn’t sit well with Taehyung. “Use your big girl words, sweetheart” he spoke sternly, a warning that tells you he expects an answer when you’re spoken to.

“I like it, Taehyung” you admitted, sounding more confident than you actually are.

“Good” he smirked, working his way downwards to remove your pants. His fingers slowly hooked around the hem of your trousers, pulling them down your legs. Mentally, you thanked yourself for shaving yesterday.

Your legs were pushed apart with slight force as he made his way down your body, peppering kisses down your stomach on the way. Your hips moved forward, desperate for contact. You could feel the way you were clenching around nothing, despite the fact he had barley touched you yet.

Almost immediately after, your underwear was pulled down and his fingers found their way between your glistening folds painfully slow. You bit your lip, trying not to give into the urge of begging for him and your tactics didn’t go unnoticed.

“I thought I told you to use your big girl words, y/n” He spoke, you could hear the smirk that was plastered on his face without even looking at him.

You wiggled your hips slightly in response, rubbing your core against his fingers. He knew what you wanted, he just wanted it to come from your mouth.

“I want you to make me scream, Taehyung”.

Your words switched something on inside of him, his lips immediately finding your throbbing clit. He delivered gentle bites and tugs, making sure he wasn’t being too rough. Your back arched at the sudden contact, finally feeling some sort of relief.

After dancing around your entrance for a moment, two of his fingers made their way inside of you. He knew exactly what he was doing, curling his fingers upwards slightly as his lips stayed put on your button. He was going to make you cum, and he was going to make you cum embarrassingly fast.

“F-faster” you managed to moan, encouraging him to pump his slender fingers inside of you even faster.

He knew you were close. It was impossible for your high to go unrecognised as he felt your walls clench around his fingers as your hands flew to his hair, tugging slightly.

After moaning against your core loudly, without warning you reached your high incredibly fast. Your legs flew together, in attempt to shut them but that wasn’t going to happen while Tae was still between your thighs. Your toes curled and your back arched, pushing your core further into his mouth as you released all over his mouth.

Once your breathing had regulated and you were no longer a moaning mess, you felt him move below you. “Well, did someone enjoy that?” He smirked, wanting you to admit how good he made you feel.

“Mmhmm” you mumbled, feeling your eyelids growing heavy after coming back from your orgasm.

“Hey, stay awake. You should shower, you kinda stink” he giggled, looking up and down at your defeated yet sweaty state. You nodded and chuckled slightly at the feeling the sweat roll of your body.

As much as you wanted to refuse and hop on his lap instead, you knew he only ate you out to relax you. It was an opportunity for you to scream for good reason, as well as an odd opportunity for Taehyung to show you that he cared about you,

Begrudgingly, you made your way to the bathroom pouting at the thought that you wouldn’t be riding him anytime soon.

Since then, you hadn’t seen much of each other. It was bizarre, not seeing his face everyday. You missed him, and his stupid little face. Usually he was waited for you every time you got home from work but for the past two weeks you had been working the graveyard shift.

You spent most of your nights cleaning the kitchen, tables and toilets ready for the next day instead of sitting on Taehyung’s lap.

Most days, you arrived home at 7am and headed straight to bed. Tae tended to sleep until 10am and by then you were fast asleep. Despite not seeing each other, the odd encounters you did exchange were full of tension. The air between you two was always thick, a barrier that you both desired and wanted to cross but couldn’t.

Frankly, you had had enough of this ‘not seeing each other’ bullshit. It made things awkward unintentionally and made it seem like you were avoiding each other, which was not true. Every night when you arrived home you secretly hoped that he would have waited up for you, but he never did. It was unfair for you to expect that from him, but there was no harm in wishing.

That night played through your mind on loop. You couldn’t help but think about the way his tongue flicked against your dripping core, the way you clenched around his fingers at the feeling and god - the way he looked at you.

After multiple discussions about how incredibly horny you were for your roommates dick, they told you about a website, Camsecrets. A site where anyone could watch regular people from their area or around the world explore themselves in every way you could think of.

“Just check it out” your high school friend, Jimin told you. “It’s honestly not that bad. Plus, I can smell your arousal from here so for the love of God, please just check it out” he giggled, referring to the website you had just been talking about At first, you were partially disgusted about hearing about how your friends get themselves off to watching random guys jerking themselves off in their bedrooms - but they insisted it was so much more than that.

After spending weeks of pushing your inquisitive thoughts about Taehyung to the side, you gave in. It was apparent nothing was going to happen between you two, so you may as well relieve yourself in another way. Without letting Jimin know, you found yourself visiting the website one morning after arriving home from work. There was no way you were going to be able to sleep with a heat developing in between your legs.

You created an account and allowed notifications, mainly so your phone would distract you from your incredibly hot roommate.

“Making myself cum with no hands: live” caught your attention. The thumbnail appeared to be a young male, his lips plump and red - presumably from biting them. His body was spread out on a bed and his hands gripped the sheets as a coping mechanism for the pleasure. You found yourself drawn to the perfect picture that was captured in between his legs. His hard length was sprung up, calling for his attention as his tip appeared pink and swollen. His bedroom appeared oddly plain, presumably to stop anyone recognizing his bedroom, you thought. Clearly, he had chosen his thumbnail carefully, knowing exactly what will draw viewers in.

You couldn’t have clicked faster.

The male started fully clothed before starting to sensually strip for the camera, his entire face out of shot except for his perfect lips. The mystery behind the person kept you intrigued as you found yourself with your head closer to your phone screen in order to gauge a better look.

What the hell? Were you actually getting turned on just because some random guy you didn’t know was starting to remove his clothes? Yes, you were.

Once the camboy was fully de-clothed, you could finally admire his perfectly smooth and toned body. Despite the fact he wasn’t ripped with muscles that could snap you in half, his body turned you on. A lot.

Slowly, he flipped himself over and switched the camera angle. He was lying stomach down on his bed at the perfect angle slowing you to see his angry, red looking tip peeking out among the sea of blankets. His hips slowly began to move and he began grinding his throbbing length against his pillows and blankets, small ‘innocent’ moans fell from his mouth at the sensation. There was something that you found so hot by the situation - he was making himself feel so good without even touching himself.

You found yourself squeezing your thighs together at the sight of the young man falling apart on your screen. You bit your lip in attempt to keep quiet, remembering your roommate was sleeping just a few doors down. After a few moments of watching him grind on his bed, you couldn’t ignore the wet patch that was growing between your legs. Swiftly, you removed most of your clothes - leaving you feeling vulnerable on your bed in your underwear, despite the fact that you were alone.

Your fingers danced around your clit, teasing and building yourself up as you watched the male tease himself as his thumb gently glided over his slit once, resulting in him letting out a harsh hiss which sent shivers down your spine. Slowly, you entered two fingers inside of your core, immediately clenching around them. Almost at the same time the male picked his pace up, clearly feeling impatient and desperately wanting to release. His mouth parted slightly as he worked his hips faster and faster.

Quickly, taking you off guard, the camera angle had changed. He appeared to be holding the camera, moving the lens closer to his length to reveal the mess he was making. Pre-cum had leaked all over him and all over his sheets, creating some sort of lubricant that spurred him on even more. You could have came at the sight.

After another quick moment he was laying on his back, still holding the camera, no longer profusely grinding himself against his sheets. His spare hand stayed by his side, gripping onto the bed sheets as he resisted the urge to touch himself. He was close, you could tell by the way his cock twitched and throbbed every so often. As well as him, you could feel your own high approaching as your fingers curled upwards in order to hit your sweet spot. It became increasingly hard to try and muffle your moans, but you managed, somehow.

After a few more throbs, cum erupted from his still angry tip. His breathing was irregular, you could tell by the way his stomach moved up and down. He was enjoying it a little too much, if that was possible. The sight of him lying down on his bed with cum on his stomach as he came down from his high only spurred yours on. Once again, you found yourself clenching around your fingers as you rode out your high, with your back arched miles away from the bed.

You chuckled, thinking about how you got yourself off to some random guy grinding themselves to their bed sheets. But hey, it felt good. Your friends weren’t exactly wrong.

After composing yourself you switched into a t-shirt and made your way into the kitchen for a snack. Before you even attempted to sleep, you needed to pay attention to the aggressive growling coming from your stomach. The apartment was quiet, the only the sound that filled the room was your bed socks shuffling against the tiled floor. Well, that was until you heard a door creak open. “Taehyung?” you questioned, confused to why he was up this early.

“What you doing up?” He asked with worry in his eyes. You were about to question why he seemed so concerned but you mentally assumed it was because of your lack of sleep. He was always so caring.

“Hungry” you replied, pointing to the snacks laid out in front of you. He nodded, not giving you a verbal reply. “Why are you up?”

“Thirsty” he muttered back, opening the fridge door to pull out a chilled bottle of water. Similarly to his previous response, you nodded. It seemed like a convincing enough answer but in the few years you have lived with him, you have never seen him awake before 10am. It was weird, you couldn’t help but wonder if you were the reason he woke up. You know, just a few moments ago when you were a mess on top of your bed. Nevertheless, you shook those thoughts to the back of your mind. If he had heard you, he was keeping it to himself and you preferred it that way. It saved you from the embarrassment.

“You should probably sleep” he begun, interrupting himself when he took a swig of his water before continuing, “You’ve been working too much. I thought you were gonna quit?” You mentally cringed as he mentioned your conversation from that night.

“I said I would think about it. I told you, I need the money” you retaliated, probably a little more angrier sounding than you would have liked but you hated how casual he was. How could he bring up a conversation from the night he ate you out on your own coach without hesitation? Could he not feel the sexual tension in the air as you stood before him in his own t-shirt? It was an like an elephant in the room. Of course he should have noticed it... or maybe he was just being ignorant.

You shook your head, telling yourself once again that nothing will happen. If something was gonna happen, he would have fucked you in to a state of euphoria that night. But, he didn’t.

“And I told you I didn’t care about the money” he sighed back, waking around the kitchen island to stand behind you. He stood behind you for a moment before you felt a familiar hand on your waist, making you take a sharp breath. “I care about you” he whispered, voice softer nearer to your ear this time. This behavior wasn’t exactly unusual but you couldn’t bare him having his hands there, considering how badly you craved him. “Aren’t you stressed?” He cooed in your ear, his thumbs now trailing across your waist in circular patterns.

“No” you lied, gulping slightly too loud as you escaped his grasp. “Just hungry” you continued, taking your snacks as you started walking back to your bedroom before stopping in your tracks as a familiar voice called out after you.

“Y/N” he started, your back still turned to him as he looked towards the edge of his t-shirt that you were wearing. “Your ass looks good”.

You felt the heat rise to your cheeks at his words, mentally cursing yourself for not putting on some shorts before leaving your bedroom. Now he knew you were naked on your bottom half, he had to know that you were doing. “T-thanks” you chuckled, trying to brush off the fact that you were slightly embarrassed by his words, once again.

You closed the door behind you, exhaling deeply as you processed what had just happened. He made you feel suffocated to an extent. He made the words disappear right out of your mouth and it was almost like every time you tried to interact with him you no longer had the ability to speak. It was, odd.

Ping!

Your phone beeped. You thought maybe it was one of your non existent friends wanting to hang out with you, at least it would distract you from Tae. However you were greeted with an unusual notification. Despite the fact you had just gotten yourself off to a random guy jerking himself off on the app, somehow you had forgotten it even existed. And by ‘somehow’ you meant that Tae and his perfectly structured face had caught you off guard, once again.

‘TigerV is now live. Join now!’. ‘Again?’, you thought. He had only just got himself off 10 minutes ago and he was already live again? Despite what you thought, you couldn’t really say much about his neediness as you were about to join the live show. ‘It’s just a distraction’, you reminded yourself.

Unlike last time when you joined the live show, the guy was already completely stripped. You could sense how needy and horny he was, why wasn’t Tae this needy?. He started slow, twisting his hand at the tip of his length to tease himself. Deeper breathes left his mouth as the pleasure began to build up.

While watching you noticed there was a comment section for his stream, giving you an idea or two. Why not have some more fun?

‘I want to hear you moan’, you commented, biting your lip shyly despite the fact that he wasn’t able to see the blush rise to your cheeks. You waited a few moments before you noticed him shuffle more towards the camera in order to see his screen better.

Instantly, you knew he had seen your comment as significantly louder moans left his kissable lips as his hands worked faster. You smirked to yourself for a split second, happy that he had listened to you and you were getting exactly what you wanted, until you began to recognise the moans. You placed your ear against the speaker on your phone, closing your eyes in order to concentrate on the sound. Why did they sound so familiar?

Then it clicked.

You shot up, now sitting straight on top of your bed. It was Taehyung. You were watching your roommate jack off. You concentrated again, wanting to make sure you weren’t just hearing things. It was him. You have heard him in the shower one too many times to be mistaken.

For some reason, you felt enough courage to leave your room and to make your way towards his, tiptoeing slowly to make sure he wouldn’t hear. As you slowly approached his bedroom door, you began to hear his moans in person. You glanced at your phone once again, debating whether you should enter or not. ‘Fuck it’, you thought. Who wouldn’t want a helping hand?

You pushed open the door and there was Tae, spread out on his bed with his angry looking length in his hand. He looked at you in a puzzled manner but his eyes suggested that he wasn’t surprised that you were stood before him like this. Words would not leave your mouth once again, so instead you showed him your phone screen, indicating that you had been watching him. He smirked, sitting up and shutting off his live stream. “So, have you came to watch the show in person?”

You shook your head no, placing your phone on his cabinet as you made your way closer to his bed. “I-i” you spoke quietly, sounding so vulnerable and weak. You took a deep breathe and started again. “I wanna help”, you spoke louder this time.

“Then what are you waiting for?” he asked, looking as smug as ever. He rested on his elbows as he sat on the edge of his bed waiting for you to make some type of move. Slowly, you knelt down. Your eyes widened as you became level with his length, taken back by the size and how desperate it looked to be touched. There was no point in teasing him, he already looked so needy for your touch and you didn’t feel like being punished later on. Without wasting time you took his length into your mouth, moving at a pace that was not too fast or too slow. A groan left his lips, he sounded relieved. “You can take more, I know you can”, he teased you.

Wanting to prove him right you pulled back and took a large breath before placing your mouth back round him, taking in as much as you could. You gagged and swallowed around him, which only made him hornier if that was possible.

Roughly, he grabbed your hair and pulled you back, making you look at him. You were sure as hell that you looked like a hot mess - lips puffy and red, saliva dripping everywhere and messy hair. “Sorry, but if you kept going I would have came”, he apolgised, letting go of your hair once he realised how rough he had grabbed you.

You smirked, “Don’t be sorry”. You stood up, swinging your legs either side of him so you were sat on his lip. You attached your lips to his neck, kissing and sucking the sensitive area a few times before you moved your lips to his ear. You caught his earlobe between your teeth, biting gently before pulling away to whisper, “I like it rough”

The next thing you knew, you were practically thrown onto his bed. His lips attacked yours. You were right, they sure as hell were kissable. They were soft and tasted sweet. They moved against your own roughly, his teeth biting on your lower lip teasingly before your tongues fought for dominance. It felt like the kiss lasted an eternity, both of you too caught up in the feeling of each others lips.

Your hips began to wiggle, desperate to feel him inside of you, which caused him to pull away from the kiss. “Impatient?”, he quirked an eyebrow up at you before glancing down at your hips rolling against his. You nodded and bit your lip, desperately hoping that he would just thrust into you right then and there. He chuckled, bringing a hand up to your throat to add gentle pressure and you couldn’t help but moan at his dominant side. “Then i’m gonna have to teach you what patience is then babygirl”

His hand slowly made it’s way down to your core, applying a gentle pressure to the bare skin. Now, you were thanking yourself for not putting your shorts back on. “So wet” he whispered, more to himself than you. His fingers danced round your entrance, teasing you. He wanted you to beg and you knew it. “P-please” you moaned, squirming more and more.

“Please what?” he questioned. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that you wanted him to finger you until you were seeing starts, but he got more joy from hearing you say those words.

“F-finger me, please Tae” you breathed, “I need your fingers so badly!” you begged, making him smile from ear to ear.

You gasped at the sudden feeling of his fingers now inside of you. His fingers worked at an incredible pace, you could only imagine how tired his arm was but he didn’t care. All he wanted was to give you one hell of an orgasm.

His lips attached to your now throbbing clit and your back arched in response, making him push you back down with his spare hand. He alternated between circling the sensitive bud with his tongue, sucking it harshly and biting it gently in order to send sparks of pleasure throughout your body. You sure as hell were not going to last very long. There was something about Tae and the way he riled you up that could get you cumming for him in a matter of seconds.

His fingers curled upwards, hitting your sweet spot. An unusual feeling built up inside you, but you were too focused on Tae’s movements to question it too much.

“Mmm g-gonna” you mumbled, trying to warn him but failing as you struggled to form proper words. Your back arched and this time his hand wasn’t enough to stop you. Pleasure shot through your body as you squeezed your eyes shut in order to ride out your orgasm properly.

You collapsed back onto the bed, panting and severly out of breath before you realised what had just happened. You sat up to be greeted by Tae looking at you with so much lust in his eyes. “Did I j-just?” you asked, already knowing the answer considering his drenched state.

“Squirt, yes”, he chuckled, working his way back up to your mouth. “And it was the hottest fucking thing that I have ever seen in my life” he growled, kissing you roughly. You moaned at his words, but the sound was muffled by his mouth on yours.

“Off” he demanded, pulling his mouth away from yours as he tugged on your shirt. Complying immediately, you removed your t-shirt swiftly. You almost didn’t have time to throw your shirt to the side before his lips were attached to one of your nipples as his other hand massaged your other breast. You shivered at the sensation, smiling at the fact he was trying to make every part of your body feel good.

“N-need you” you moaned, clawing at his back, surely leaving scratch marks. This time he didn’t care about your lack of patience, instead he was focusing on the way you clawed as his back which made him desperate to be inside of you.

He nodded, grabbing your waist and pulling you onto all fours and pushing your head further into his bed sheets. “What a sight” he groaned, admiring the view in front of him and placing a light slap onto your ass, making you needier for him.

“Ready babygirl?” he asked, lining himself up with your entrance. You nodded eagerly, desperately wanting to know what he felt like inside of you. As soon as he had your consent, he pushed in almost immediately.

Simultaneously, you both moaned equally as loud as each other, both finally glad to feel like this after weeks of teasing. Once you had adjusted, the pace began to speed up. He placed both his hands on your hips in order to stop you from collapsing as he entered into you relentlessly.

You tried to focus on his moans, they sounded so sinful yet so innocent and they turned you on more than you would have liked to admit. “God you feel so tight and warm” he spoke in between breathes. Although you couldn’t see him, you knew he was enjoying this just as much as you. You could picture him with his head thrown backwards, his face all sweaty and his eyes dark with lust. What a sight.

“Wanna see you” you admitted, wanting to change positions so you could admire his face, especially when he cums. He smirked behind your back, pulling out of you, making you whine at the loss of the feeling of being full. He helped to move you onto your back, assuming you were feeling weak - which you were.

You laid on your back with your legs spread wide for him as he hovered above you, pushing in once again. Except this time he pushed in with more force, instantly making you squeal out in surprise and pleasure.

Your hands clawed at the bed sheets, needing something to cling on to and your teeth bit into your bottom lip with the sudden urge to bite down on something to cope with the immense pleasure. As soon as Taehyung noticed this he moved your hands onto his back, wanting to you claw at him instead. He then noticed you biting on your lip. Although it was an incredible sight, he much preferred the thought of you with his fingers in your mouth instead. He brought two fingers up to your mouth, pushing them inside to allow you to suck and bite on them as much as you needed. The small hints of pain only encouraged him to continue and he reassured you there was no need to hold back.

You moaned around his fingers as he moved your legs so they were resting on his shoulders, allowing him to go even deeper. You tilted your head back, allowing his fingers to fall from your lips so you could speak. “C-close” you moaned, taking one of your hands from his back to your clit, rubbing circles to bring you closer to the edge.

However he had other ideas, swatting your hand away and replacing it with his own thumb adding more pressure than you ever could, sending pleasure throughout your body. “Let go baby” he whispered, taking your nipple into his mouth once again as he felt you clench around him.

God, he was so so so close but you had to come first.

For the second time tonight, your back flew up into the air as you moaned out his name. “Fuck fuck fuck, Taehyung!” Your eyes screwed shut as you rode out what you swear to be the most intense orgasm of your life.

“Oh my god” he moaned, placing his head into the crook of your neck trying to compose himself.

“Please Tae, cum for me” You moaned, face contorted in pleasure. “Mm I can’t handle it”. He nodded, feeling himself reach his own high. Quickly he pulled out and his hand flew to his length, pumping it to chase his high.

“Come here and open wide, quickly!” he demanded, wanting to cum in your mouth to finally see what you looked like with his release all over your mouth. He had spent too many nights daydreaming about it.

You did as he said, kneeling just below him with your tongue hanging out, eager to taste him. With a few more strokes, he released all over your tongue with a loud grunt. You swallowed happily, making sure to look him in the eyes at the same time before moaning at the taste of him. “Pretty” he whispered, moving your hair out of your face before you both collapsed on his bed.

“Holy fuck that was amazing” he chuckled before glancing at your defeated state. You nodded and smiled widely, agreeing silently. “You know, I wondered how long it would take you to realise that it was me” he spoke casually. You pulled a confused face. He knew you were watching the entire time?

“Wh-” you tried to question what he meant before he cut you off.

“Oh please. Your username gave it away when you commented asking me to moan” he winked, pleased with himself. You chuckled, not having the energy to play fight with him right now.

Instead you curled up closer to him, resting your head on his chest. It soothed you hearing his now steady breathing. You closed your eyes, ready to drift to sleep. His hand moved towards your head, massaging and playing with your hair. You told him a while ago that it helps you sleep. You smiled, thinking about how he remembered.

“Let’s film it next time”

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anonymoonsthoughts · 4 years

Text

☼1

✯[27.08.19]

Idk what to say but i was listening to SALES and I got in the mood. The thing is I cut myself yesterday so I have , I don’t know exactly, 5+ cuts from both hands. It is mainly on my index fingers and thumbs . my left index finger has an extremely deep cut but not to the point where it cut a vein or smth. Ahhhh it feels so weird to type with my middle fingers along with my thumbs(?) but eh

And yesterday I made a new friend on twitter. THIS IS TRULY AN ACHIEVEMENT BECAUSE I HAVE BAD SOCIAL SKILLS WHEN IT COMES TO TALKING TO PEOPLE. Till this day I still don’t get how I have a circle ( ily supreme court of justice <3 y’all make me happy). My vocabulary is so limited and it really sucks because I have so much to say about anything but I feel like I will say the wrong words in order to do so.

I’ve started to realise I'm starting to have sleeping problems as the days progress. Maybe because it is the holidays and there is no school to tire me out so I can sleep easily. I was awake till 5am today and slept for less than 8 hours. Before I forget this, rainy days are nice. I talked to ✯ about this before BUT THEY MADE ME SO FLUFFY(?) it is that kind of vibe that makes me feel like I want to wrap myself up in blankets and listen to the rain as it gently goes down the window. The lights are off and the only source of light is outside.Cloudy. The sentimental vibe of comfort is too vivid for me to describe but I think of it as a warm feeling. Just listening to The Night Cafe’s whole discography on repeat whilst drinking hot chocolate. Scrolling through socials or either doing work that is really irritating but you have to do it in order to not fail. The mood is still there BUT IMAGINE THIS WITH CLINGY BF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

But now it’s more of a muddy blue with hints of orange from the street lights. And winter is coming as well… TIME FOR HOODIES. Winter is probably the best season. I used to like summer till it started getting unbearable. It’s even worse now that I sweat easily, IT'S SO EMBARRASSING TO GET IN THE BUS WITH SWEAT PATCHES HHHHH. All I want to do is be able to wear a thin outfit without sweating BODY WHAT IT WRONG WITH YOU-. The thing is, you don’t have to suffer like that in winter, it’s cold duh. But then if you are me, who produces a mass amount of body heat, life isn't fair. No matter what season I still sweat. The benefits of winter is being able to wrap up either in: onesies, hoodies, jackets, scarves etc. The only downside is that I get cold easily and IM (╭☞ 👁️ ͜ʖ 👁️ )╭☞ SICK. Throw my whole body away. Autumn is alright it’s a mix and match of winter and summer, one day we are shrivelled raisins, the next, icicles. I know this is abrupt BUT CAN SOMEONE WRAP THEIR ARMS AROUND ME, KISS ME ON THE HEAD, PAT MY BACK WHILST DRAWING CIRCLES AROUND IT, LET ME BE THE SMALL SPOON, FIDDLE WITH MY FACE AND JUST KISS ME!1!1!1 Lmao the sad BISH jumped out. Does it really kill to have someone like that. I see why friends with benefits exists ( HEUHEUEHEUEH q￢ ͜ʖ￢ p ) . The desire for attention and affection is real. But I MUST NOT FALL FOR MEN-

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den-xerw-giati-uparxw · 7 years

Text

I'm in love

It was 9am and Dan was just staring at his bedroom's ceiling. He wasn't thinking of something specific, million thought were drilling his mind trying to make him go crazy at least for a bit today. He didn't want to, but he was certain that today wasn't going to be a good day for him. He had a feeling that he might do something so stupid or accidentally reveal his love to his best friend Phil and destroy their relationship. 4 days ago they were in America doing their first live show called "The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire" and now they are back in London. Dan took a deep breath and shook his head, he then realised that it was 9am.he got off bed and opened his bedroom's window and when he wore a black plain t-shirt and a pair of jeans and opened his door He went to the kitchen and saw Phil trying to figure out what to eat for breakfast " good morning Dan"said and smiled at him "Oh Good morning to you too Phil" Dan replied " *pause*Are you okay ? You seem like you didn't sleep at all." Said Phil, it was true Dan had barely gotten any sleep the previous night. His mind couldn't 'shut up', he hated when that happen "Yeah I am , I'm just still a little bit tired that's all" said and smiled at Phil "Okay then...what do you want to eat for breakfast?" "Its okay I'll make it on my own, but thanks anyway" "Okay , I'm going to make a cup of coffee and eat a cupcake" said Phil "Well I dont know if I want to eat breakfast ,to be honest I fell like my stomach is going to explode, if I eat something " said Dan "Yeah but you have to eat something. Last time you ate properly was 2 days ago when we were having breakfast. You're last proper meal was breakfast and we're eating breakfast now." Said Phil cautious about his friends body's and mental health. "Jeez Phil your not my mother and I'm not a little boy but, okay calm down I'm gonna eat a Apple and brink a cup of coffee." Said Dan and felt bad and strange about what he just said he didn't expect of Phil to react like that "L-look I'm sorry Dan, it's just I care about you and I'm worried. If you don't want to eat don't eat. You're right it's none of my business...either you it or not it would be the same for me." Lied Phil, of course and it was his business, he loved Dan and he wanted him to be healthy ,so even though they would never be together they could be happy and live their lives as friends. "No I'm sorry..." Then both Dan and Phil sat down and ate their breakfast without talking at all. 15 minutes later they finished and Phil washed the two cups. Dan was about to left the room when Phil spoke "Wait Dan, fans have uploaded vlogs when they were on our live show. Do you want to sit and watch their reaction with me?" "Emh...sure? Why not?" "Okay" They then took two small bottles of water and went to their recording room "So we'll watch some vlogs and then record a gameplay or edit something?" Asked Phil "I don't really know to be honest...I don't know if I want to record a gameplay right now." "Okay we'll just edit for half an hour and when we'll just binge watch a anime" said Phil and smiled at the youngest man "Yeah I think that would be nice" Dan mumbled And so they did, but instead of editing for hald an hour or so they started editing a gameplay from the start ,it took them 4 whole hours and since today they had to upload a video they watched it for 2 or 3 time to be sure it's perfect and the uploaded it into their gaming channel. Dan really enjoyed doing things with Phil but he lately felt like he wasn't enough, he felt like Phil was 'taking care' of him because that was the 'right' thing to do and he actually felt like he was only an obstacle in Phil's life. I mean come one, would Phil even believe him if he said that he was in love with him? No! Their fans forced the ship right into their faces way too much and Dan was certain that Phil would never believe him. [...] Now it's about 10pm and they just finished watching 2 season of an anime they found the other day "Wow we watched anime for 3 straight hours."said Dan and looked around to focus on something else despite the laptop screen on his lap "Yeah and the and anime was so great and funny" said Phil and stood up and turned on the lights "Yeah it was." Admitted Dan "Phil....stop with the light " he said and they both started laughing "Okay so do you want something to eat?" Asked Phil and closed the laptops screen "Not really, I just want to go to sleep. I don't know why I just feel really exhausted for some reason today and I've done nothing" "Okay and I can understand we all have our good and bad days, our ups and downs don't worry and go get some sleep. I'll probably do the same" said Phil and smiled at Dan "Okay that was sweet and cheesy at the same time but thanks. I really appreciate it" said Dan and smiled back at Phil warmly and went to his bedroom , closed the door behind him and just lied in bed. Phil was really confused, he couldn't really understand his best friend's behaviour but he didn't want Dan to feel more weird and uncomfortable. It was true everyone had their ups and downs but Dan had them too many times. Yeah he had existential crisis but this wasn't Phil's problem, his problem was that Dan had these crisis say too many times per week and he was worried for him. Phil finally made himself fall asleep around 3am. [...] When Dan opened his eyes and saw the alarm clock by the side of his bed it was 7am in the morning. He stood up and walked to the closet. Put on some clothes took his jacket and phone and then silently made his way to the doorway. He felt really bad that he was about to attempt to run away from his apartment and from Phil but he felt even more uncomfortable when Phil was around and when he was trying to take care of him because he pittied him. So he did it , he unlocked the flat's door and c left the house without saying anytning or without letting a note for Phil and then he left the whole building. It was really early in the morning for him to wake up or to even go outside but he knew that Phil usually wakes up around 9am so it would be easier. As always the weather was bitter, what did he except? It was 7am and he loves in London. "God it's chilling...I should have brought somethingelse with me" For over three hours he did nothing but walking around like he was a lost tourist that couldn't go to Big Ben even if they could see it was like 4-5miles away. Then he just sat to a bunch to a park and just started listening to music. It's was 10am and Phil had just woke up . . He went to the kitchen and made a cup of coffee, then he cleaned the mess he made with the sugar and went to the lounge and just started scrolling down his social media and then the YouTube comments on his channel and their gaming channel. At first Phil didn't find it weird that Dan hadn't walked out of his bedroom because it was 10am and then 11am. He started worrying when it was around 2pm and Dan wasn't awake or showing and signs of being alive. He went outside Dan's door and knocked "Dan? Are you alright? *pause* are you sleeping? *sigh* it's almost 2pm , look I know yesterday was a bad way for you and I totally understand really but you have to live with some seemingly unbearable things just like I have to do the same" said Phil and a sad expression replaced his happy one. "Okay I'm sorry but I'm coming in" said and opened the door to see an empty room, Dan wasn't anywhere. Phil rushed out of Dan's bedroom and went to the lounge, he picked his phone up and rang Dan's number. Dan didn't pick up the phone instead he rejected Phil's call "Come on Dan....where the hell are you?" Said Phil and say on the sofa Dan put his on mute and put in on his jacket pocket and started walking down the road without knowing where exactly to go Fastforword to 3 hour later when Phil is still in the apartment totally freaking out "I've called Dan 6 times, I've left him quite a lot of messages ( they were 20) okay I get that this might annoy him but why isn't he answering to his phone? It's not like he said he'd be off or something like that. He just disappeared without letting me know with at least a sticky note" said Phil kinda desperate. Dan felt really bad that he hadn't answer to any of Phil's calls or messages 6 hours later. *voice message* "Hey Dan, its 11pm and look I'm sorry if I did something yesterday or in general, you know that I don't think too much when I do things around you. I'm sorry if I'm annoying you right now.....*pause* but you know what? No I'm not sorry at all. I care about you Dan, more than you think I do and if you don't want to talk to me just send a message or something. If you hate me just let me know okay? So I can know that your alive, I won't get over it easily but it would be nice to know why you run off without saying anything" Dan wanted to call Phil and let him know that he was alright but he thought that Phil would be extremely angry with him. It was 2am when he continued to walk and walk but this time he knew exactly where to go, back to the apartment and face an angry Phil that will scream at him. It took him an hour and a half to get back to their building. He took the elevator and opened the apartment door slowly. He silently made his way to the 3rd floor and saw the lounge's door open, we stepped inside and what he saw was Phil covered with a blanket and laying down on the sofa and staring at the celieng without any specific expression. "Hey....." Dan whispered at looked down "Oh my god you're alive! Thanks God. Dan!" Said Phil Dan's voice put him back to reality because it was what he expected to hear for the last 7 hours "Phil I'm so so sorry..." said Dan because he couldn't think of anything else to say "look I know yesterday was a bad way for you and I totally understand really "Phil couldn't finish his sentence because he started to tear down "Phil don't cry please, this is all my fault, I know and I feel awful aboit it. My mind want blank and I didn't know what else to do. But I really Am sorry I did something like that"said Dan and sat on the sofa right next to Phil. He really didn't know what to say, he knew it was entirely his fault that Phil was crying, it was his fault that he let his mind take over him, he was the one that wasn't answering his phone calls , he was the one that run away for 14 hours and made Phil feel sick,extremely worried and helpless. But after all he always was a disappointment and he would always be one. " *sniff*Dan, I care about you, more than you think I do but if you really hate me that much you can just say it. We said from the start that we would be honest when something bother us, of course you wouldn't tell me all your secrets and I wouldn't tell you all mine but if you hate me please tell me that right into my face" said Phil and wipped his tears "Phil, are you serious of course and I don't hate you. How would I hate my *pause* best friend?" ""Dan, you have to live with some seemingly unbearable things just like I have to do the same. Okay? It might seem that you can't do it but eventually you'll learn how to live with him-it. Now I know I will sound like a parent but you have to face your problems and fear and not run away from them"said Phil and looked Dan right into the eyes "What do you mean "just like I have to do the same"?..." "Well uhm.... I wnat to say something actually..." said Phil and started looking around "I want to say something to you too..." said Dan and Phil stopped looking around "Do you want to say it together?" Asked Phil trying to make the atmosphere less awkward "Actually no...I don't think we want to say the same...can I start at least?" Said Dan "Sure" replied Phil and he would feel his heart because he didn't know what Can was about to say "Phil Lester we are friends for over 7 years now and I don't know how to thank you enough for being by my side to every stupid existential crisis I had in the past, I can't thank you enough for the moment that you made me laugh, I can't thank you enough for the joy that your bringing into my life by simply talking to me about games or anime everyday, I chat thank you enough for just listening me to me rant and mumbling all day" said Dan and a tiny laughter escaped his lips "Well I do t know what to say. Just thanks for being my friend, thanks for never letting me down,thanks for never stop believing in me and thanks for never turning your back on me" D&P:I'm in love with you When these small but really powerful words escaped their lips and immediately just hugged and smiled at one another "Thanks for everything Phil" "Thanks for everything Dan" ~THE END~

#amazingphil #daniel howell #danandphil #phandom #phan #lgbtq #youtubers #dh #pl #loveislove #phanfic au #phanfiction #fanfiction

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