#series: the leftover children

[idyllic-ghost]

title: The Other Woman (REWORKED) pairing: CEO!Mingyu x fem!reader genre: romance, found family, angst, fluff, smut warnings: mentions of not being able to have children, mentions of death (mingyu is widowed), smut (MDNI), oral (f and m receiving), p in v sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk concerning being better in bed than someone else, mentions of being sick (mingyu gets a cold), slight miscommunication angst synopsis: You’re married to Wonwoo, but his father desperately wants him to have a child - which you cannot have. He gives into his parents wishes and meets the other woman, whom he eventually agrees to marry as well. You’re left heartbroken for a few years, seeing the man you love build a family that you had always wanted, but happiness is on the horizon as you meet someone new. wordcount: 31k taglist: @enhacolor, @shuabby1994, @junhui-recs, @dkakapizzaboy, @just-here-to-read-01, @loviehan, @userjunhuii, @novalpha, @bubblymoon, @aaniag

a/n: the other woman is probably my most popular fic series, but i've always hated it. i felt like it was rushed, and not well thought out - so i've remade it (same plot, just a few minor changes)! thank you so much for 3k followers! consider this my thanks for sticking around <3

thank you @wongyuseokie for beta reading this!

join my taglist - masterlists read the original mini-series: part one, part two, part three

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

PART ONE.

The sun managed to peek into the bedroom through the blinds, stirring you awake. As you moved around slightly, trying to stretch the sleep out of the limbs, you felt the man beside you grip onto your waist. “Stay,” Wonwoo murmured in his raspy morning voice.

You turn to Wonwoo, putting your hands in his hair, and look down at him. His head was by your chest, resting his forehead against your bare skin. He got home late last night, staying at work until the sun was far down behind the horizon. You had dressed up for him last evening, wearing a new slip dress that he had gotten for you, but you managed to fall asleep before he got home. Mornings like these were unusual and always welcomed.

“I wasn’t planning on leaving,” you said. “I took the day off too.”

“Lucky me.” He looked up at you with a grin. “I feel bad for the kids, though… they don’t get to see their favorite teacher.”

“I’m not their favorite,” you correct him. “And they’ll be fine if I’m gone for just one day… it’s worth it for this.”

Wonwoo leaned up to your face and placed a kiss on your lips, then mumbled something about you being perfect. You watched him sit up and reach for his glasses, enjoying the view of his naked form. You had lucked out - your husband was the most handsome man you’ve ever laid eyes on. He turned to you again, giving you a soft smile. 

“You look beautiful,” he said and reached over to touch your silky nightdress. “Is it the one I got for you?”

“Of course,” you murmured. “I put it on for you last night, but you got home later than usual.”

“I know.” Wonwoo sighed. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s okay… make it up for me?” With a big grin, he got on top of you and gave you another kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck as his lips traveled down your jaw to your neck. It’s been a while since you got to have this kind of morning, and it was just what you needed.

After you got out of the shower, you patted yourself dry with a towel before you changed into one of Wonwoo’s shirts. Wonwoo, who was already one step ahead of you, was making coffee in the kitchen. You had done this hundreds of times before; Wonwoo handed you a cup of coffee which you accepted and watched as he took out a few leftover side dishes from the fridge.

“Have you heard from your father yet?” you asked.

“Last night…” Wonwoo sighed. “We’ll meet him at the restaurant.”

“And you don’t know what he wants?”

“Not really.” He walks over to you after putting the side dishes on the counter. “Let’s not think about it- we took a day off so that we could spend a calm day before having to meet with him.”

“I know I just…” You took a deep breath. “I know how he feels about me. It feels weird that he asked to see us both.”

“Hey, don’t do that.” Wonwoo put his hands on your upper arms. “I don’t care what he says. You’re my wife. You come first.”

Despite his kind words, you can’t help the feeling of anxiety growing in your chest. Later that day, after hours of cuddling up on the couch and doing nothing together, you were getting ready for dinner. You had dolled yourself up - your makeup and hair were done, but your dress was still lying on the bed. Wonwoo always liked it when you walked around in his clothes, and you enjoyed his eyes on you.

“Do you think he’s just doing it as a formality? It is our anniversary soon…” you thought out loud. “It’s not like him, but maybe,” he hummed.

“Could you help me with my tie, honey?” He never actually needed help with his tie, but he knew it put your mind off of things if you did something with your hands. You walked up to him and took hold of the two ends of his tie.

“You look pretty,” Wonwoo said. “I’m not even dressed up yet,” you huffed. “Still pretty.”

You tried and failed to stop yourself from smiling. Wonwoo always knew how to make you feel better, even if it was just temporary. As soon as you had finished his tie, you went to put on your dress. As you pulled the straps over your shoulder, Wonwoo came up behind you to pull up the zipper. He pressed a kiss on your shoulder and slowly pulled the zipper up, and the feeling of his fingers against your skin sent a shiver down your spine.

“Let’s get this dinner over with,” he muttered in your ear, “I already want to have you for myself.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ The restaurant was scarce of customers, but it still felt like you were taking up too much space. Wonwoo sat next to you at the table. His father was late, but when he finally approached the table, Wonwoo grabbed your hand and squeezed it. As you ate, the atmosphere was thick. Except for the usual small talk, none of you said much. While you were waiting for the second course, the topic of children was brought up by Wonwoo’s father.

“Father…” your husband sighed. “I’m allowed to ask about the company’s heir, aren’t I?”

“Of course you are, sir.” You put a hand on Wonwoo’s knee. “We’ve been talking about adoption, right?” Before Wonwoo could answer you, his father interrupted him.

“Adoption?” He scoffed. “Then it’s not your real child, though, is it?”

“We’ve talked about this,” Wonwoo said. “The doctor said-”

“That she can’t have children, I know.” His father interrupted him again. “I just think there are other ways.” You looked at Wonwoo with a big clump in your throat, but he refused to meet your gaze.

“What do you mean? Surrogacy?” Wonwoo asked. “No, I just mean that… if this relationship with Y/N isn’t working out, then maybe you should find someone else- a mistress.” Wonwoo’s father spoke as if you weren’t in the room with them. 

“Dad, I’m not cheating on my wife-”

“Don’t call it a mistress then.” He shrugged. “Call it a new wife. You can always remarry.”

“Father-”

“You need an heir.”

“I’ve heard enough.” You stood up. “If you’re going to talk like I’m not even here, then I don’t want to be here. You’ll just find any reason to hate me, won’t you? We’re going through with surrogacy if we’re going to have children. I don’t care what you think about it.”

As you stormed out, you noticed that Wonwoo didn’t immediately follow after you. His absence worried you, but you still went through with getting your coat checked out and walking out of the restaurant to hail a cab. Finally, Wonwoo came out after you and grabbed your hand.

“Y/N-” “Why didn’t you defend me in there?” you questioned him. “You just let him degrade me like that in front of you!”

“Let’s just talk about this, he-”

“You know how hard I’ve been trying.” Tears were welling up in your eyes. “I want to have a family with you, Wonwoo, you know that. It’s hard for me, and hearing him say that hurts. His ‘suggestion’ is off the table if you’re even thinking about staying married to me. It’s so fucking obvious he just wants you to leave me, he won’t even accept surrogacy- if you try to reason with him, I don’t know you anymore.” A cab stopped in front of you, and you opened up the door.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m staying at my mother’s place. I need to be alone,” you said. “But we need to talk about this-” He reached for you, and you pulled back.

“Don’t touch me!” You yelled and got in the cab.

When you got to your mother’s apartment, she was waiting for you with open arms. You had told her what had happened through text while you were in the cab. She was just about ready to go to the restaurant and curse out Wonwoo’s father herself.

“What a heartless man!” she exclaimed as she held you in her arms.

“It’s alright, Mom.” You sighed. “I’m going to go back home tomorrow and talk about it with Wonwoo.”

“You know he’s to blame here, too, right?”

“Mom… Wonwoo didn’t do anything.”

“Exactly.” She pulled back from the hug. “He should’ve stood up for you, honey.”

“Can we not talk about this, please?”

“Alright, just come inside.” You walked into her apartment and slept on her couch for the night.

The text you wake up to the next morning isn’t what you wanted. It was a short “We need to talk” text from Wonwoo. You answered by saying that you’d be home when he was home from work, and all you received back was “good”. Good. That’s all he had to say after what his father had said to you last night. Nevertheless, you went back home and waited for your husband.

“My father introduced me to someone else,” were words you never expected to hear from Wonwoo’s mouth. You were already sobbing, sitting on the couch in your living room. He was cold, not rubbing your back or bringing you in for a hug. You’ve never wanted his comfort more than right now.

“Listen, Y/N,” he said. “I’ll marry her- she’ll have my children-” Your loud sob interrupted him, and he finally touched you for the first time since last night. His hand on your back left a burning mark.  “I’ll come back to you.”

“What?” You looked at him, your vision blurry from tears.

“After I get an heir, which is the only thing that my father wants, I’ll come back to you,” he explained.

“Wonwoo, that’s insane-”

“Don’t you understand? After I get an heir, my father will be out of our lives- it’s all he wants from me.”

He took your hands in his, holding them gently and bringing them up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. Your eyebrows furrowed, and you had trouble understanding what he was truly thinking. How was this easier than just cutting off his dad? You assumed he had talked with him about it, but you were left in the dark.

“And you think this will work?”

“Yes- I believe in us.”

“Fine… I trust you.”

Once the divorce was finalized, and Wonwoo had moved out, you realized just how big your apartment was. He had left you the place to not burden you with the troubles of moving. The woman Wonwoo married, Gyeong Hui, was one of the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen. She was gracious and poised, and she was everything that Wonwoo’s father expected from his son’s wife. For the first few months, you keep close contact with your ex-husband. But as time passes, your relationship fades. His final call to you was a normal Thursday afternoon. There was no warning, and it somehow made it worse.

“Gyeong Hui is pregnant…” Wonwoo said. “I don’t think I can… I just realized how fragile the situation is- I can’t leave the mother of my child. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

All you could manage to say was, “It’s okay”, and even then, your voice was breaking. You hang up before he can say anything else and pack up a few things to go live with your mother. Social media was a hellhole, seeing them move to the suburbs together- Wonwoo always said he hated the suburbs. Your dream together was to have a small family in the apartment that you had together… all of it, your wishes and your dreams, was gone. Your mom tried her best to cheer you up. She offered to have girls’ night, to go get your nails done, or spend the evening drinking wine and watching rom-coms. None of it sounded appealing to you, and you instead opted to stay in bed most of the time. You only went up to eat or use the bathroom, sometimes going for a walk or trying to get some other form of movement in. She gave up eventually, or so you thought. A year and a half had passed since you broke it off when your mom approached you at the breakfast table.

“Here, look at this,” she shoved her phone in front of your face.

“A cabin?”

“Cottage,” she corrected you. “It’s your aunt’s, and it’s absolutely dreamlike. It’s in the middle of nowhere, in a beautiful forest, and close to a lake.”

“It does look beautiful.” You looked through the photos.

“I’ve been asking her to borrow it forever,” she explained. “And she finally said it’ll be empty for a couple of weeks.”

“Oh? Are you gonna go?” You gave her back her phone. “I was thinking it’d be nice for you to get out into nature… you can borrow my car and go out there right now. Get off your phone and get to spend some time with yourself.”

“Mom-”

“And if you don’t want to be alone, she has a lot of neighbors!”

“Mom-”

“I just think it’s perfect for you, darling,” she said. “It’ll be good, I promise.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ You decide to take your mom’s advice. The drive there was beautiful, but when you arrived you realized it wouldn’t be all that therapeutic - for you, it was mostly bug bites and muddy shoes. The houses were beautiful, especially your aunt’s cottage. The red brick contrasted nicely with the dark roof - and there was ivy growing on the side of the building. No house looked the same. It was your favorite thing about this place. Your neighbor had a cute yellow house, and the one next to that one was blue. It continued for a few more cottages, and they all looked adorable. The outside was gorgeous, but the inside was like nothing you had ever seen before. It felt like walking into a Ghibli movie. The wooden floors creaked under your feet, the walls had a beautiful green wallpaper with flowers, and everything was decorated in a cohesive maximalist style. It wasn’t as big as the other houses, but still had two levels - the second floor only being a bedroom and bathroom - and it was more than enough for you. So, you spent your time indoors, and you realized that you did want to be alone… but, of course, your neighbors couldn’t know that. Most of them were retired, but a few of them were only a little older than you. They told you that they just wanted to come check on who the new person could be. There couldn’t be a lot happening there if you were the biggest piece of gossip to talk about. As more neighbors decided to stop by, you grew more tired of their visits - even if they were short-lived. So when there was another knock at your door, you didn’t open it with a smile.

“Hello?”

In front of you stood a gorgeous, tall man. Black short hair, golden tan skin, and a body that was practically built by the gods. He was wearing sweatpants and a white t-shirt with paint splatter on it. Not wanting to seem like a creep, you looked up at his face again. However, when meeting his eyes, you were filled with a sense of calm. They were kind and well-meaning, which made your sour welcome all the more embarrassing.

“I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Kim Mingyu.” He took his hand off a plastic box and reached it out to you. His handshake was strong, but not in the way that men usually tried to display their dominance. You didn’t know if it was in your head, but it felt safe - protective. Maybe it was just the lack of men in your life at the moment, but you were tingling at his touch. 

“I’m Jeo…. Y/L/N Y/N.” You took your hand back from his hold. “My aunt let me stay here for a bit.” Almost saying your ex’s last name, instead of your own, in front of this handsome stranger felt horrifying. But Mingyu didn’t seem to notice, or he pretended not to for your sake.

“Well, I’m your next-door neighbor- so if there’s anything you need, you can let me know.” Friendly and hot. This might have been the luckiest you’ve felt in over a year.

“Oh, is it your cottage?”

“No, no- it’s my parents’ place. I’m just fixing it up for them so that they can enjoy it during the summer months,” he explained and looked down at his box. “Oh, right. I got you a little welcome gift- I don’t know if you like muffins, but…”

He held it out to you, and you finally got a proper look at it. The bottom of it was read, but the top was see-through. Dark red muffins, about six of them, were lined up perfectly inside the box. Red velvet. You wondered if he had made them himself or if he had bought them from some expensive bakery.

“I love muffins,” you assured him and accepted the box. “Thank you, Mingyu.”

“No problem,” he said, “And, if you’re into barbecue, our other neighbor is having one later this evening.”

“Oh, I don’t know… I don’t really know them. I feel like I’d be intruding.”

“You can come over with me. I’ll keep you company all night if you don’t like them,” he joked.

“Well, that’s certainly a tempting offer…” You thought about your mom and how much she’d want you to try to move on. “Alright, when is it?”

“I’ll come by around six and pick you up,” he recommended. 

“Sounds good,” you said. “See you then.” “Can’t wait.” He sent you a flirtatious smile before leaving.

You watched Mingyu leave, not so subtly checking him out, before closing the door. Walking into the kitchen, you opened up the box of muffins and were immediately hit with a velvety aroma. After putting the box on the kitchen island, you picked one of them up and tasted it. The muffin practically melted in your mouth. It was perfectly fluffy and not too sweet.

“Holy fuck.” You put your hand over your mouth. Was this man good at everything?

Not wanting to look like you’ve been in bed all day, despite definitely having done just that, you put on a blue linen dress and try to look a little put together. You don’t want to tarnish your aunt’s good name by being a messy niece. Mingyu knocked on your door at six o’clock sharp, and when you opened the door, you were met with a surprise. He had changed into white linen pants and a light blue dress shirt. You were matching.

“Hi again,” he said with a smile. “Ready to go?”

“Oh, um…” You looked back into the cottage and grabbed your bag. “Sure… should I bring something?”

“If you have something to bring.” You went into the kitchen and picked up a bottle of rosé you had brought with you. It was one of your favorite bottles. It had been chilled in the fridge, now at the perfect drinking temperature. When you walked back outside, you held up the bottle of wine for him to see. Mingyu whistled when he saw the label, and you handed it over to him to let him get a closer look.

“Nice stuff.” He held the bottle gently so that he didn’t heat it with his hands.

“You can thank-” Wonwoo. Wonwoo showed you this wine first. He said that it’d be just your taste. He wasn’t wrong, which was nice at the time, but now it made you want to scream.

“Who can I thank?” Mingyu’s question brought you out of your thoughts.

“The woman in the store,” you lied. “Let’s go.”

Your neighbor’s backyard was full of laughter. You could hear it from outside your cottage. Walking up to the blue house, you felt your heart start pounding. Mingyu opened the door for you, and you were met with a scenery that you swore you had dreamed of. Large families - grandparents, parents, children - were all gathered. They were drinking, eating, playing - and it made you want to vomit. You pressed the bottle of wine into Mingyu’s chest, and he quickly took hold of it.

“I’m sorry, I’m not feeling that well… I think I need to go home.” You backed away from the house. “Tell the host my best wishes… and that I’m sorry." Mingyu probably tried to stop you, but you wouldn’t know since you quickly turned on your heel and briskly walked away. It wasn’t safe at all. Staying here wasn’t the paradise that your mom had made it out to be.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ You packed up your things the very next day and put them in your car. It was early in the morning, the sun had barely just started rising, and yet Mingyu was out for a run. He ran past your car as you were putting the second bag in.

“Hey there, neighbor.” Even his voice was hot. You looked over at him. He was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, which was sticking to his chest from sweat. A cap was placed on his head, but you could still see his face - shiny from sweat but pretty nonetheless. Could he just look bad for one moment? Just so that it could be easier for you to resist the urge to jump him…

“You run this early in the morning?” You asked.

“Only when I’m out here,” he said. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, I just… I don’t think nature’s for me.” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“How would you know?” He asked.

“Excuse me?”

“You’ve been here two days, and you’ve only been indoors.” You were stumped. He was right, of course, but you desperately wanted him to be wrong. He approached you, still breathing hard. God, you wanted to climb him like a tree.

“Listen, I can see that you’ve got something going on,” he said, “And I promise you, this is the best place to be when you’re wound up. If this was meant to be therapeutic for you, then I think you need to try a little harder than what you have.”

If it weren’t for the fact that he made you weak in the knees, you would’ve just walked away from him. You stayed, and you listened… and he wasn’t wrong.

“So then, what do you suggest I do?” You secretly hoped he’d suggest that you go home with him, but life wasn’t a porno…

“Well, I don’t know your struggles.” He shrugged. “But I can show you around, make you appreciate nature.”

“... I’d like that.” “Good.” He grinned. “Do you want to meet up later? Maybe after lunch? I was thinking of going out to the lake if you want to tag along.”

“Sure.” You took out the bags from the car and carried them back inside. Mingyu’s presence beside you made you heat up. He picked up the last of the bags and helped you carry them to the door. You thanked him with a small smile, and he gave you a wink before jogging over to his cottage.

Later that day, you change into a swimsuit and put on an oversized shirt to cover up while you walk over to the lake. With a towel under your arm, you went to look for Mingyu. Footsteps quickly approached from behind you, and when you turned around, you were met with a wonderful sight. Your next-door neighbor was running towards you, wearing black swimming shorts and an open button-up with lazily rolled-up sleeves.

“Hey there, neighbor!” he said with a grin.

He reminded you of a puppy - happy and always eager. When he had jogged up to you, you noticed the silver chain around his neck. You hadn’t seen it before, but now your eyes were fixed on the delicate chain. Maybe it was because you didn’t know where else to look, or the juxtaposition of such a delicate thing on such a brawny man was appealing to you.

“Eyes up here, sweetheart,” Mingyu joked, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“Sorry, I just…” You felt heat rise to your face. “It’s a nice chain.”

“Thanks.” He didn’t look like he believed you. “Ready to go for a swim?”

Mingyu took you to a small dock, where he left his towel and his shirt before he started wading through the water. You watched his back as he walked, his muscles moving under his skin hypnotizing you. When he looked back, he sent you a wink, making your heart skip a beat. You pulled off your shirt and started treading through the cold water yourself. 

“How are you not freezing?” you asked.

“I am.” He laughed. “But if I started shivering, you wouldn’t come in!”

“Touché.” You smiled and approached him. The water was up to your hips now, but your legs were slowly getting used to the cold water. You heard him gasp and looked up to see him covering his agape mouth with his hands - as if he was pleasantly surprised.

“What is it?”

“You’re smiling,” he teased. “Are you enjoying nature yet?”

“It’s growing on me,” you admitted.

“Good,” he hummed. “Try closing your eyes.” You give him a strange look but still follow his instructions. After closing your eyes, you take a deep breath. The sound of a lonely bird echoed through the forest. The rippling water murmured secrets in a language you couldn’t understand, but you listened intently anyway. Your hands were hanging by your sides, the water weaving between your fingers. The stream wasn’t strong enough to move you, but you still felt it. After another deep breath, you opened your eyes again to see Mingyu proudly looking back at you.

“It’s nice, right?”

“Very nice,” you said.

“Come on, let’s go.” He started moving up the stream. “I want to show you something.” It didn’t take long to swim to the place Mingyu wanted to show you. A waterfall, not very tall but remarkable nevertheless, was flowing in front of you. Right by the top of the waterfall hung a swing on a tough-looking branch. It looked like something out of a paradise resort.

“I built that swing when I was a teenager,” he said. “And if we’re lucky, it’s not too old to use.”

“Wait, how old are you?”

“Just turned twenty-eight,” he said. “Don’t I look like it?”

“I thought you’d be younger- we’re the same age.” You looked back at the swing. “So, how young of a teenager are we talking?”

“I was seventeen.” He sighed. “It’ll hold… probably.” Mingyu helped you up the rocks, and the two of you got to the top of the waterfall rather quickly. You sat down next to each other, your legs dangling off the edge of the waterfall. Sticking your foot into the running water, you watched it bend around your body. After resting for a bit, Mingyu stood back up.

“Want to try the swing?” he asked.

“Only if you try it first.” You chuckled as you watched the man take a shaky breath. Mingyu took hold of the old rope. When he pulled on it, the old tree let out a croak - as if it was stretching after a long nap. With furrowed brows, Mingyu carefully climbed onto the swing - and it held his weight! You laughed and clapped his hands as Mingyu let out a victorious shout. The creaking continued as Mingyu began swinging, eventually flinging himself off into the pool of water beside the bottom of the waterfall. His head went underwater, and you held your breath until he popped back up to the surface.

“It’s safe!” He shouted, and you wolf-whistled as he got up to the more shallow part of the lake. “Your turn!”

“Oh no, I’m not doing that!” “You said you would!” Mingyu pouted.

“It’s part of your nature therapy, Y/N!” You loved it when he said your name… Mingyu would be the death of you. After finally managing to get onto the swing, with Mingyu cheering you on from the side of the lake, you began swinging. You let go of the ropes and jumped, shutting your eyes tight. Water encapsulated you before you got back up to the surface. Mingyu cheered and clapped for you, to which you responded with a shy smile.

“Fun, right?”

“Maybe a little…” you admitted as you walked back up to the shallow part of the lake.

You and Mingyu swam back to the dock where you left your things, and the two of you sat down on it. Your feet were still in the water, the stream tickling the lower half of your calves. When you had dried off and the weather got a little colder, you put your shirt from before back on.

“I had a really good time today,” you said.

“You don’t feel like going home anymore?”

“Not as much.” You looked over at Mingyu, who was already looking at you. “Thank you. I needed this.”

“Let me take you out tomorrow, too, then,” he said.

“Sure.” You nodded. “But I don’t know how you’re going to top this.”

“We can go on a morning hike,” he suggested.

“Mingyu-” You chuckled. “I’m not a morning person- I don’t think it’d be better than this.”

“You say that now,” he said. “But just wait until we’re standing up on the hill watching the sunrise.”

“Sunrise? How early do I have to get up?”

“I’ll pick you up at five.”

Despite not wanting to wake up so early, you did it anyway. After a day of swimming, you fell asleep early and woke up fifteen minutes before Mingyu was to pick you up. You dragged yourself out of bed, putting on your most comfortable workout gear. For whatever reason, you trusted Mingyu enough to let him take you out on this horrible morning walk. Trying to stretch the sleep out of your body, you moved around your living room in front of the big windows. When you got up from stretching out your hamstrings, you heard a knock coming from one of the windows. You looked over with big eyes, meeting the gaze of a smiling Mingyu. He was wearing the same jogging gear he had yesterday and a backpack slung over one of his shoulders. He waved to you, and you hurried over to the door. With a flushed face, you opened the door and welcomed Mingyu inside while you put on your shoes.

“Good morning.” Mingyu stayed on your porch, giving you space.

“Morning.” You stood back up and gave him a quizzical look. “Were you watching me stretch?”

“Just for a second, I didn’t want to scare you mid-stretch,” he defended himself hurriedly. “I’m not a creep, I swear.”

You stepped outside and patted his slumped shoulders. He reminded you of a puppy again, the way he was looking at you with big eyes and a slight pout. You were beginning to enjoy teasing him.  “

I know,” you said. “Ready to go?”

“Of course.”

The two of you watched the forest wake up as you walked along the path Mingyu had picked for you. It was an uphill walk, which wasn’t what you needed this early in the morning. But Mingyu promised you that it would be rewarding, so you continued walking. The two of you were mostly silent, other than when one of you pointed out something you had seen. However, the silence was welcomed. It was, as Mingyu had said, very therapeutic. Despite feeling like it took forever, you were up on the hill before you knew it. Mingyu pointed out a small bench by the edge of a cliff, and the two of you sat down. He took out the backpack and gave you a neatly wrapped sandwich, along with a thermos of coffee. As the two of you ate breakfast, the sky started turning pink, and the sun started rising from behind the horizon.

“Wow,” you hummed.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Mingyu nudged you with his elbow.

“It’s amazing…”

The both of you sat in silence for a bit more, but something started itching to come out from the back of your throat. Mingyu was playing with the paper wrapping from his now-eaten sandwich.

“So… why did you come out here in the first place?” Mingyu asked.

“It’s a long story…” You said, thinking he would put it to rest - even though a part of you wanted to tell someone about it.

“You can tell me, you know?” he said. “I won’t judge.”

So you did. You told him about Wonwoo, how suddenly the relationship had ended, and why it had turned out the way he did. You told him about Gyeong Hui and how you couldn’t even bring yourself to hate her despite what had happened. After that, you sat in silence. You thought he wouldn’t want to talk to you after this, but instead, he put a comforting arm around your shoulder.

“You’re strong.” His words made you scoff. “I’m serious. That’s more than enough for any other person just to give up, but you’re here. You’re trying.”

“Just because you made me.”

“I can’t make you do anything that you don’t want to do,” he said. “You could’ve left.” His words linger in the air. You could have left, why didn’t you? Was it just because you thought your neighbor was hot, or did his words reach you? Did it even matter? You were here now, feeling better than you had since the incident. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, leaning your head in the palms of your hands. Mingyu took his arm off you and let you be. You missed the warmth of his arm but appreciated the space he gave you.

“Well, thanks for bringing me out here,” you said.

“You’re helping me too. Now I have a reason to get out more.” He leaned back. 

There was more to his story. You could tell by the tone of his voice, but you decided not to pry. If he wanted to tell you, he would. You looked out over the forest again. The sun had risen far above the trees now. When you leaned back on the bench, you noticed that Mingyu’s arm was leaning on the back of the bench. In a moment of hope and rashness, you leaned your head on his shoulder. You glanced up at Mingyu, seeing him smile before he wrapped his arm around your shoulders again.

“I don’t think I’ve ever watched the sunrise like this before,” you said.

“Really?”

“I’m not a morning person,” you reminded him. Mingyu chuckled, his chest rumbling as he did. You closed your eyes, taking another deep breath. This time it didn’t just smell like fresh air and dewy grass. You could smell his cologne as well. It was faint, but you could sense the woody smell of men’s perfume. You could probably fall asleep right there in his arms. 

“We still have to walk back.” Mingyu made you open your eyes again. “Don’t fall asleep on me.”

“It's not my fault that you’re comfortable…” You sighed. Mingyu moved around, forcing you to get up despite your many protests. He helped you up, and the two of you began making your way home.

You kept seeing Mingyu for the first week of your stay, and towards the end of it, he offered to make you dinner. The two of you spent your time outdoors, hiking or going to the lake, so spending the evening making dinner in your small kitchen was more intimate than you were used to. However, you gladly accepted his offer - you hadn’t exactly been eating like royalty during your stay here. Cooking took effort, which you didn’t have the energy for. Seeing as the muffins Mingyu had given you the first time you met were delicious, it wouldn’t surprise you if his cooking was delicious as well. Mingyu came over with a bag of groceries that he immediately put in the kitchen. You were placed on watch duty - which was Mingyu’s way of saying, “Sit on the counter and don’t touch anything while I work,” and you couldn’t complain. You watched as he expertly cut up the vegetables and the meat, enjoying the view of his hands getting to work. His t-shirt sleeves were rolled up, showing off his biceps as he reached for plates and glasses. From time to time, he’d look over at you to see if you were watching - smiling when he caught you ogling at him. He took pride in his good looks, as he should.

“Is there anything you can’t do?” You said. “I mean this- and the muffins?”

“Oh, I didn’t bake those-” He chuckled. “I can’t bake, that’s for sure… I bought them from this little café that’s not too far from here. I’ll take you some time.”

“Sounds good.” You smiled at the implication that he wanted to keep seeing you, even though he had asked you to do things with him countless times before.

“Still, you’re still a natural talent at most things.”

“I can’t paint either,” he argued. “Paint?”

“I’m supposed to paint the living room in the cottage- my parents wanted it to be a lighter color,” he explained. “I’ve been putting it off for so long, but now all the furniture I’ve put away has started to bug me.”

“Tell you what…” You hopped off the counter you were sitting on and walked up next to him. “If this meal is as delicious as it smells, I’ll help you paint tomorrow. As a thank you for the meal.”

“Deal.” He grinned. “I’ll take it as a challenge.” He moved you aside so that he could get to the spices. His hands were only on your waist for a millisecond, but your skin was burning at his touch. While trying to contain your smile, you took your place on the counter once again.

The dinner was perfect, as expected. The food, the wine, the company… everything was to your liking. And when everything was over, you got to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Mingyu by the sink. He was washing the dishes, and you were drying them.

“I hate that this place doesn’t have a dishwasher,” you groaned.

“Doing dishes can be nice…” Mingyu said. “Given that you’re in good company.” Mingyu handed you a plate, and your fingers brushed against each other. Every time he touched you it sent sparks flying in your chest. You took the plate and started drying it. There were no other dishes in the sink, and Mingyu put his hands on it while he was waiting for you to finish.

“Well, I’m glad I can be good company,” you replied.

“You’ve been good company this entire week,” Mingyu admitted. “Although you have distracted me from what I was supposed to be doing.”

“I think that’s fair,” you argued. “You’re the one who convinced me to say, after all.” You put away the last plate and dried off your hands, giving Mingyu a fresh towel for his own hands.

Shamelessly, you stared at his hands while he dried them off with the towel. When you looked back up at his eyes, you knew that he had caught you. You didn’t mind - maybe it was the amount of wine you had consumed, or you had grown comfortable around your neighbor - and took the towel off his hands when he didn’t need it anymore, putting it on the counter beside you.

“I guess you’re right.” Mingyu watched you carefully as you walked past him to wipe off the other side of the counter. “I’m glad I did.”

“I’m glad you did too.” Mingyu encaged you against the counter, putting his hands on the wood on either side of you. His chest was pressed up against your back. His head leaned down by your ear - you could feel his breath fanning against you. You turned around, locking eyes with him again. The air was thick, and you needed to do something to stop the pounding in your chest. Your hands moved on their own when they moved across his chest, traveling up his neck and settling in his short hair. Mingyu glanced down at your lips and leaned in until your noses were touching.

“Mingyu…” you breathed out. “Kiss me.” At your command, he finally put his lips on yours. They were soft but slightly chapped, and they moved in harmony with yours. His hands went from the counter to your hips and to your hips to hoist you up. The kiss broke for a moment so that Mingyu could put you on the counter. Standing between your legs, Mingyu connected his lips with yours again. You cupped his face in your hands, trying to pull him impossibly close as the kiss got heated. The two of you only stopped to catch your breath, leaning your foreheads against each other.

“I’m not dreaming, am I?” Mingyu asked breathlessly.

“I hope not…” You connected your lips again. Mingyu took his time with you, lips moving slowly and passionately. You hadn’t felt like this in what felt like forever. To be intimate with someone again… it made you feel alive. Despite your head spinning, you couldn’t help but think about Wonwoo. You pulled away, Mingyu trying to chase after your lips before noticing something was wrong.

“I’m sorry…” you whispered as soon as you saw his worried eyes.

“No, no- it’s okay, Y/N,” he assured you. “It was too fast, I understand.”

“It’s just been so long-”

“I get it, sweetheart. Trust me.” The nickname, even in this situation, made your heart skip a beat. You caressed his cheek, brushing your thumb over his cheekbone. He sent you a warm smile, unlike the charming and flirtatious ones you had seen before.

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“I don’t want to kiss someone who doesn’t want to be kissed,” he said. “There’s always next time, hm?”

“Next time,” you promised. Mingyu helped you off the counter, and you walked him to the front door. As he put on his shoes, you felt your chest grow empty. You knew that you didn’t want to go further right now, not when your mind was racing, but you wanted him so badly. Mingyu stood back up and took your hand.

“Don’t feel bad, okay?” He squeezed your hand. “I liked it while it lasted.” You looked down at your shoes, unable to keep his gaze. 

“Are you still helping me paint tomorrow?” he asked and squeezed your hand again.

“Of course.” You looked back up at him for a second to give him a secure smile. “Goodnight, Mingyu.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” He let go of your hand and opened the door.

As soon as he closed the door behind him, you crumbled to the floor. There was a part of you that believed that you had ruined this now. A black hole was growing in your chest. You liked Mingyu, but you still couldn’t get the image of Wonwoo out of your brain. Maybe this was your life now, finding new people but being cock-blocked by someone who wasn’t even in the room… someone who didn’t care about you anymore. If he had been able to move on, why couldn’t you? It had been a year since you took off your wedding ring and signed the divorce papers. It had been half a year since Wonwoo last called. You had deleted his contact from your phone, afraid that you would give in and call him on a whim. You couldn’t sink so low. There was nothing more to do than accept that you had been the other woman. If alternate dimensions existed, you wished that at least one of them let you stay with Wonwoo - or that the plan could’ve gone through. you wished that you never got to know that Gyeong Hui was a kind and gentle woman. You wished that she would’ve been a bitch… but she wasn’t. You had no reason to hate her - she didn’t drag your husband away from you. She was just a pawn in a game. You got up from the floor and made your way to your bedroom.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ The next day, you went over to Mingyu’s cottage in clothes that you weren’t afraid to get paint on. You couldn’t let what happened yesterday ruin what you had going on with Mingyu. So, despite your legs wanting to run the other way, you walked in through the open door to the cottage.

“Hello?” You called from the hallway.

“In here!” Mingyu shouted, and you followed his voice.

The inside of the house was similar to your aunt’s, although it was more classically decorated. When you found Mingyu, he was standing in the middle of a large room with no furniture. The furniture stood outside the room, cramped in a large portion of the corner of another room. The otherwise big brawny man looked tiny in the empty room. Mingyu had already started painting, as evident by the paint stains on his clothes.

“The paint is supposed to go on the walls, you know.” You leaned against the doorframe.

“Very funny…” He turned around to face you to show you a big splotch of paint on his face, trying to hide his smile by biting his lower lip. “I got paint on my face when opening the can… the rest is just brush accidents…”

You approached him and cooed as he pouted, cupping his cheeks in your palms. With your thumb, you tried to wipe off some of the paint on his face, but it was already dry.

“Help?” he murmured.

“Hand me a paint roller, Picasso,” you joked, and Mingyu grimaced.

The work got done quicker than expected. It was hard, and the room was warm despite the many open windows and doors, and it had you sweating buckets. The fact that you kept thinking about last night - his lips on yours - didn’t help. You desperately needed an ice bath.

“Do you think we’re done?” You asked as the two of you looked around the freshly painted room.

“I think so. Now we just have to clean up,” Mingyu said. He was looking at the many newspapers on the floor, protecting them from white paint, but you were still only staring at him. Any sentimental thought you had the day before had flown through the window. You were too hot, too tired, and too turned on to think about anything other than Mingyu. His shirt was sticking to his toned chest, leaving little to the imagination - not that you hadn’t already seen him half-naked.

“Y/N, are you okay? Do you need a glass of water?” he asked out of innocent concern.

“I’m just tired,” you lied.

“Are you sure? You look flushed.” He approached you, and you had to stop yourself from backing up against the wet wall. Mingyu managed to walk up right next to you and put the back of his hand against your forehead. It was colder than your skin, and you leaned into his touch. Your eyes closed, a soft sigh escaping your lips. It wasn’t the heat- it was Mingyu making you melt. Much to your dismay, he took his hand away from your face.

“Are you sure you’re okay there, sweetheart?” he asked with a small smile.

“You know what… I was going to act like nothing happened yesterday, but I need us to resume whatever we were doing back then right now.” You looked him dead in the eye.

“But I don’t want to push you-”

“You’re not pushing me…” You took a deep breath. “Please?”

You didn’t have to say another word before his lips were on yours again. The messy room was left to its own devices as Mingyu led you through the house - only breaking from the kiss to make sure he wasn’t running into anything. Clothes were flying off of you and onto any nearby surface. He picked you up, your legs swinging around his waist, and carried you upstairs to his bed. Falling against the plush bed, you let out a happy shout before Mingyu crawled towards you again. When your lips connected again, your head was buzzing. You were both only in your underwear by now, your sweaty bodies rubbing up against each other. Mingyu pulled away from you with a soft groan, his eyes still shut as he began grinding against you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Mingyu nuzzled his face into your neck, leaving chaste kisses on the sensitive skin. When you finally broke out in laughter, Mingyu came back up to look at you. You covered your face with your hands to hide from him - suddenly feeling shy.

“Hey, pretty,” he said and tried to remove your hands. “I want to look at you… come on…”

“I haven’t… the last time I did this was with him,” you said, knowing that he would understand who you were talking about. “I know it’s silly, but it feels strange.”

“It’s not silly.” He chuckled and finally managed to remove your hands. “It’s normal, but I want you to forget all that and just focus on us.”

The light coming in from the window gave away that the sun had started to set - its golden glow coloring Mingyu’s skin with a beautiful shine. Your hand caressed his cheek, and he leaned into your touch. 

“Just us,” you repeated. “... could you get a condom?”

Suddenly, Mingyu’s peaceful expression turned into an annoyed one. He scrunched up his face and let out a groan, his head leaning back into the crook of your neck.

“I don’t have condoms,” he mumbled. The entire situation made you laugh, and it only made Mingyu whine louder. If it weren’t for how hard you could feel that he was, you would’ve kept laughing - but instead, you cooed at him. Your fingers ran through his hair as he buried his face in your chest. While accidental pregnancy was unlikely for you, you didn’t want to have unprotected sex with a man that you had only met a week ago.

“It’s alright, we can…” You sighed. “We can do that next time and fix your issue another way this time.”

“So there’ll be a next time?” Mingyu raised his head to meet your gaze. Your face grew hot as your smile widened. His eyes were big and hopeful, and you let out a laugh in disbelief at how he could be so adorable. 

“Maybe…” you hummed. 

“And you don’t want to stop now?”

“Just the opposite, please.”

Mingyu pressed a sweet peck to your lips before he went back in to devour you. You wrapped one of your legs around his waist, using it to flip the two of you around. He let out a grunt when his back hit the bed. Your lips parted, only for you to kiss down his neck to his chest. Mingyu’s chest was heaving, but you could feel his breath hitch when your lips ghosted over his skin. You settled between his legs, playing with the hem of his underwear.

“Is this okay?” You asked.

“Please.” Mingyu’s voice was hoarse as he begged for you. Pulling down the band of his underwear, you watched in awe as his thick cock slapped onto his abdomen. It shouldn’t be surprising that he was as big as he was, considering his height, but it still left your jaw slack. After ripping off his underwear, you put your hand over his cock - gently stroking it before you wrapped your hand around it and put it in your mouth. Bobbing your head up and down his length, you tried to take more and more of him.

“Fuck…” He gasped and reached his hand up to your head. “... can I?”

You let out a delighted hum and moaned around him when he grabbed your hair to push you further down. Gagging around his cock made Mingyu get louder - his moans echoing around the room. Your nails clawed at his thighs as your eyes welled up with tears. Peering up at him through your lashes, you saw Mingyu throwing his head back with his eyes shut tight. His hips moved on their own, shallowly thrusting his cock up your throat. You put your hands on his hips, holding them down, and got your mouth off of him, gasping for air.

“Shit- are you okay?” he asked with heavy breaths. “Did I hurt you?”

Seeing him all fucked out, his pupils blown out of proportion, and his lips slightly parted made you clench around nothing. You kept stroking his cock, forcing more heavenly noises to come out from behind Mingyu’s lips.

“I’m okay, baby,” you said. “Are you getting close?”

“Yeah- fuck, yes,” he whined. “Don’t stop, baby-”

You replaced your hand with your mouth, keeping the same speed and rhythm as you had before. He warned you that he was about to cum, but you didn’t stop. You watched his hands grip the sheets of the bed, throwing his head back against the pillow again. With a guttural moan, Mingyu came down your throat. You took your mouth off him, letting him ride out his high with your hand around his cock.

“Thank you, sweetheart…” Mingyu’s hips stuttered before his body went completely limp. A big grin was painted on your face as you crawled up his body. Mingyu’s eyes were full of lust as he reached for you. His strong arms wrapped around you, keeping you locked by his side. You pressed a few kisses on his jaw, making him whine.

“You keep surprising me, Mingyu,” you murmured against his skin.

“Good surprises, right?”

“All good,” you assured him. Mingyu’s grip around you tightened, and he flipped the two of you around again. Laying under him again, you finally noticed the small silver chain around his neck again. It was dangling right in front of you, and you couldn’t resist the urge to reach up and pull on it. Pulling on the chain brought him down so that his forehead was leaning against yours again. He smiled, pressing a sweet peck to the tip of your nose. Your face crinkled at the feeling, making Mingyu giggle. He giggled. 

“You’re a big softie, aren’t you?” You grinned.

“Only on special occasions,” he said. Copying your actions from before, Mingyu pressed kisses down your neck to your chest. As you arched your back, he helped you take off your bra.

“You’re fucking gorgeous.” Mingyu kissed the delicate skin before moving down to your panties. “Want me to repay the favor?”

“Please?” At your quiet plea, he ripped off your panties. A yelp escaped your lips as he lifted your legs to rest on top of his shoulders. His lips ghosted over the inside of your thigh, sending a shiver down your spine as he got closer to your core. As he laid his tongue flat against your cunt, you let out a loud moan that you had tried to bite back. You could feel him smile against you before he went into lap at your clit. Sinful noises bounced off the walls of Mingyu’s bedroom. Your hands were in his hair, pulling at it whenever he found a spot that made you see stars. Mingyu was the kind of person who was always up for a challenge - and when he had gotten the first taste of victory, he couldn’t get enough. 

“Don’t stop!” You practically shouted, forgetting that you still had neighbors even if you were in the middle of nowhere. Mingyu’s grip on your thighs tightened, making sure that you couldn’t help his relentless attack on your pussy. His tongue was inside you now, his nose bumping against your clit. You were practically riding his face with the way you were grinding against him. And when you felt your orgasm approaching, your hips stuttered. Mingyu, hearing the sound of your voice changing, picked up on the fact that you were close. With a steady pace, he guided you through your orgasm, letting you rock against him for as long as you needed.

Your body was spent afterward. You were almost completely unable to move. Mingyu crawled up next to you, maneuvering both of you to lay comfortably under the covers. He was lying beside you, and you had your head on his chest - you could hear that his heartbeat was finally starting to calm down.

“So…” He trailed off. “Yeah.”

You breathed out. The two of you lay there in silence. Despite just having shared a very intimate moment, there wasn’t anything to say. You listened to his breathing, finding the rhythm calming enough to fall asleep to. Your eyes were closed, and you were almost about to drift away to sleep when Mingyu’s soft voice brought you back to reality.

“Do you need anything?” he muttered.

“… maybe I should go to the bathroom.” You nodded and sat up. “You… it was… nice.” You stared at each other for a while before breaking out into awkward laughter. Even though you had been so confident with him earlier, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it again now. Something had changed between you - it was neither bad nor good, just natural. You pulled the sheets up to cover your chest - suddenly feeling vulnerable, despite already having shown him everything.

“Do you want me to get you a shirt or something?” He asked, noticing your change in demeanor. You hummed in response. Mingyu got up and walked over to his closer, and you tried not to stare at his naked figure. When he found a shirt for you to wear and clothes for himself, he walked back over to the bed and handed it to you. You pulled the shirt over your head, his scent surrounding you. His laundry detergent smelled fancy, and there was the slightest hint of the cologne that you had sensed during your hike.

“Thanks.” You got up and went to his bathroom.

“Y/N,” he said before you could go inside. “Do you want to stay over for dinner?” You turned around to face him, again trying your hardest to look only at his eyes. His hair was a mess, thanks to you, and he looked genuinely happy - a gentle smile playing on his lips and eyes that conveyed the same emotion. How could you say no to him? Especially since you had already tried his cooking once, you wouldn’t give up that opportunity.

“… sure.” You nodded and went into the bathroom.

After that evening, you continued this relationship - sleeping with each other, making food for one another, and spending as much time together as possible. You felt safe in Mingyu’s arms. Whenever he touched you, even if it was just a hand on your knee or cuddling while watching TV on the couch, you’d melt into it - trying to get as much out of it as possible. Slowly, you began recharging. It was as if you had been in hibernation this entire time, and spring had finally come to welcome you back to the world. Mingyu was your spring: warm, bright, and sweet. Between the two of you, something blossomed over the last week of your stay in the cottage.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ It was the last day of your stay at your aunt's cottage. Your things were neatly packed up, except for one dress, the dress that you had worn to the barbecue that you hadn’t gotten to enjoy. To reclaim the ruined evening, you and Mingyu had decided to dress up the way you had that day and hold your barbecue in Mingyu’s backyard. When you approached his gate that evening, you could already hear people laughing and talking in the backyard. An invisible wall stopped you from going any further. You stood completely still and fidgeted with your dress. Despite it being different from the first time, it still felt the same. However, you had promised Mingyu to come - and all of his hard work would go to waste if you didn’t walk through that gate. It was just a small metallic gate, painted in black and surrounded by a hedge. You swallowed whatever nerves were keeping you from going inside and opened the gate. Walking around the corner of the house, you were met with your neighbors in Mingyu’s backyard. As soon as you saw him, your worries melted away. Seeing that he had followed your plan to match outfits made you smile. Mingyu was standing by the grill with his back towards you but turned around as soon as he heard the gate close. You waved to him, and he motioned for you to come over. Standing next to him made it easier for him to wrap his arm around your waist.

“Welcome, sweetheart,” he said quietly, as if he wanted to make sure that no one else heard. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing good,” you hummed. “Do I look okay?”

Mingyu looked at you up and down, drinking in your appearance, and pulled a grimace that screamed.

“Are you kidding?” He pulled you in a little closer and leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Trust me; if it weren’t for the amount of people here, I’d take you right on-” You playfully smacked his arm before he could finish his sentence. Seeing your shy smile, Mingyu puffed out his chest with pride - biting back his smile. 

“You look perfect,” he said.

“So do you,” you replied, making the man’s ear turn red.

At the end of the evening, you were the last guest in Mingyu’s cottage. Just like you had every other night, you were standing beside Mingyu doing the dishes. Lucky for him, he had a dishwasher, but the two of you still had to wash the things that couldn’t go in there. You were drying and putting dishes away while Mingyu was washing them. The both of you worked in comfortable silence, but you were itching to say something.

“Tonight was great,” you expressed.

“I’m glad you thought so, sweetheart.” Mingyu dried off his hands on a towel after he had handed you the last of the dishes. “You’re leaving tomorrow morning, aren’t you?”

“I am.” You sighed. “And you’re staying?”

“Just a few more days… I still haven’t finished moving all the furniture, thanks to you.” He nudged your side. “You should take responsibility for your actions.”

You scoffed and put away the dry dishes. Mingyu was silent for a while, which garnered your attention. You turned around to see him leaning against the kitchen island, looking at you wistfully. A strong urge to walk over to him, hold him, and tell him everything would be okay, rushed over you, but you stood still in your place by the kitchen counter.

“I’ll be lonely without you,” Mingyu admitted. You didn’t answer - you didn’t know what to say to that. Instead, you approached him and wrapped your arms around his neck. Mingyu moved on autopilot, wrapping his arms around your waist and nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. You relaxed against his touch, letting out a breath that you didn’t know you had been holding in. Breaking the soft moment, Mingyu started leaving kisses along your neck and clavicle.

“What are you doing?” You let out a giggle at the ticklish feeling of his lips.

“Giving you a final going-away-present,” he muttered. His ticklish kisses turned into something that’d most definitely leave marks the next day. You let out a gasp as he found a sensitive spot right by your ear. With one of your hands, you moved Mingyu’s face so that you could look him in the eye. There was still a sad look in his eyes, but they were slowly being replaced by something more lustful.

“Bedroom?” You asked. Without another word, Mingyu picked you up and carried you to his bedroom.

You found yourself lost in him again. Mingyu was everywhere: his taste, his smell, his touch surrounding you and infecting your brain. Your bodies moved against each other slowly, letting out low grunts and subdued moans. He was leaning above you, and your legs were wrapped around his waist. The slow pace would have usually been almost painful, but now you never wanted it to stop. You needed it to be slow, take as long as it needed to, so you didn’t ask him to go any faster. Mingyu reached out for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, shutting his eyes tight as his lips parted to let out a string of curses. 

“You okay?” You asked with a chuckle.

“I’m okay.” He took a shaky breath. “Just hold my hand…”

“I’m not letting go, baby,” you promised. His head fell into the crook of your neck, and Mingyu let out another moan. You laughed at his reaction, finding it sweet how much you affected him. Your laugh got cut off by a moan when Mingyu began thrusting harsher into you - still not faster, just harder. He left wet kisses along your clavicle, whining against your skin. The two of you had been doing this for what felt like forever, and the stimulation was taking over him.

“You feel so fucking good,” he moaned.

One thing about Mingyu, when you got him going it was hard to stop him. You knew that he had been close to cumming several times already, and each time he had found a reason to pause. He had been edging himself for possibly an hour or more, and by now, his brain was fried. You took his face in your hands, bringing him up to look you in the eye and cooing at his clouded expression. It wasn’t like you weren’t drunk on lust too, but Mingyu was way further gone than you. Now that you had him like this, mindlessly thrusting into you, you knew he wouldn’t stop until you were cumming all over his cock. You almost felt bad for him. He needed someone to take care of him- he needed you to take care of him.

“Do you want to cum with me, baby?” You asked quietly between moans. Mingyu nodded, putting his head back in the crook of your neck. With the hand that wasn’t holding yours, Mingyu brought his hand between your bodies to rub your swollen clit. Your jaw went slack, wanton moans escaping you without a single care for who heard. Mingyu’s thrusts grew quicker, chasing both his own and your high. As your orgasm came rippling over you, dissolving you into pleasure, Mingyu came as well. He chased his breath between every other moan. His voice strained from how much he had been using it. Your hands played with his hair as he continued subtly grinding against you until his body fell limp against you.

You fell asleep holding Mingyu but woke up with his back turned against you. Without realizing that you were doing it, you had reached out to touch the skin where his neck met his shoulders. Your fingertips followed the crevices and curves of his form, your eyes following them - studying him. No matter how many times you looked at him, you always found new things. A mole here, a wrinkle there - everything felt sacred to you like you had discovered something important each time just because they were a part of him. You could look at him like this all day. A feeling started blooming in your chest, a feeling that you didn’t want to acknowledge or ever think of again. Mingyu stirred in his sleep, making you pull away your hand from him. The truth was that you were falling for him. Every time you kissed him, it just felt right, but you still felt the need to try it over and over again - just to see if it was real. He made you nervous in the best of ways. He made you laugh until you cried. More importantly, he made you feel loved. This feeling reminded you too much of Wonwoo, and you had to leave. Your things were already packed in the back of your car, you had never given him your phone number, and there was no way he could ever meet you again. Despite ignoring it for as long as you could, you knew that this was how it had to end. You recognized this path all too well, and you couldn’t be the other woman for a second time. As you kissed Mingyu's shoulder, you whispered out

“Goodbye” - and you left without a trace. When you got home to your mom’s apartment that afternoon, it was empty. Your mother’s absence didn’t stop you. There was no going back now. You had to build yourself up again. The traveling bags stayed in your car, and you started looking for apartments right away.

You had money saved up already, but after you had managed to sell your old apartment, you had enough money to move overseas if you wanted to. Nevertheless, you settled for a small apartment in a good neighborhood. It was smaller than your last apartment but had beautiful, big windows. There was one bedroom, a kitchen attached to a smaller living room, and a gorgeous bathroom. It was more than you could ask for. The money you had gotten from selling the apartment wouldn’t last forever, of course - you had to get a job. Despite wanting to escape your old life, you didn’t want to give up every aspect of it. You managed to find a job at a prestigious primary school situated near your apartment. You had contacts there through charities that you had helped Wonwoo set up - he proved to be of help for something, after all. It wouldn’t be like teaching kindergarten, but you were up for the challenge. Everything was going your way; you had your apartment, you had a pretty good job, and you had made it all on your own. Maybe it was destiny. What if the whole thing with your ex-husband was meant to be? So that you could be independent so that you could be happy. However, there was no way you could deny the fact that you missed Mingyu. You felt bad for what you did, and you’d never really forget him, but you couldn’t get the possibility of heartbreak out of your brain around him.

You spend a year like this, living each day without thinking about what might happen in the future. Every morning you wake up around six am. you got up, made a quick breakfast, got in the shower for a few minutes before getting dressed, and finally left for work. The primary school you worked at was close enough for you to walk to, and you had grown to enjoy your daily stroll - especially on a sunny spring day like this. However, it all was ruined when you heard someone call your name. Turning around to see who it was, you were met with Wonwoo walking out of a café. He was with other people in suits, but they let him be as he excused himself. You were frozen in your place. You could only watch as he walked towards you. He looked tired, new-parent-tired, but otherwise, he looked the same.

“Y/N?”

“Hi, Wonwoo.” You sent him a tight-lipped smile.

“I haven’t seen you in so long- how have you been?” He looked apologetic but smiled nevertheless.

“I’m good,” you replied. “I got a job at a primary school near here… Everglade Primary School.”

“Oh really?” He gave you an impressed nod. “It’s quite prestigious, isn’t it?”

“A little. The kids are great.” You nodded. “... how have you been? Is everything alright with Gyeong Hui?” You were secretly hoping that everything was horrible for him, and as the thought struck you, you got a dreadful feeling in your stomach.

“Oh, uhm… she’s great. We’re actually… we’re expecting again,” he said quietly as if the words would break you if they were too loud. “It’s been difficult… our daughter just started walking, and we’re trying to handle her while simultaneously handling the pregnancy… It's a lot.”

“I could imagine.” You nodded. “Do you… do you have any pictures?” Wonwoo pulled out his phone and showed you his lock screen. A small babe in pink overalls. She was adorable. Her large eyes looked just like Wonwoo’s.

“She has your eyes.” You said as he put his phone back in his pocket.

“A lot of people say that.” He tried to hold back his proud smile. He was happy. You should be happy for him, but all you felt was a pit growing in your stomach. “I wanted to apologize, Y/N.”

“Apologize?”

“For how everything turned out, I mean…” He looked down at his shoes. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright-” The embarrassment heating your face made you speak without thinking first. “I’m seeing someone new.”

“Really?” Wonwoo raised his eyebrows as he looked back at you. “Good. I’m happy for you. So, who’s the lucky guy?” Did he have to be so perfect? Here he was, feeling happy for you when you couldn’t bring yourself to do the same. The lies came bubbling up your throat again before you could stop them.

“His name is Mingyu,” you said. “We met last year.”

“Well, I hope it works out for you.” He smiled. “And that I get to meet this Mingyu sometime.”

“Of course.” You nodded. “Listen… I have to get to my students… but it was good to see you again!”

The two of you said goodbye and went your separate ways. You had no idea why you had decided to lie. Maybe it was because he was doing so well- you just wanted to make sure that he didn’t think you were alone and sad… although you were alone and sad. There was a very big chance that you would never meet him again, which would mean that you wouldn’t have to show him your “new boyfriend”. It was a harmless lie… hopefully. The lie had made you think of Mingyu again and how it would’ve been if you had waited for him to wake up that morning. Maybe he would’ve turned around and hugged you close, making some comment about how he forgot to close the blinds the night before. Then you would’ve had breakfast together, and before you left to go home, he would’ve asked for your number. Maybe you’d be living with him in an apartment now, just the two of you in a cozy condo. You couldn’t keep thinking like this. It’d just ruin you. So you shook off the lonely feeling and put on a smile for your morning class.

The rest of your day went on normally, teaching your second-grade class and also starting to teach the third-grade class. Their old teacher had fallen ill, taking an indefinite break, and you had offered to take over. It meant that you had more work to do, but you didn’t mind. You spent the day helping them with spelling and reading, and towards the end of the day, you let them do arts and crafts while they waited for their caretakers to pick them up. The school had a system where you needed to check off the caretakers who came and picked the kids up, which allowed you to talk with all of the kids’ grown-ups. Usually, you would chat with the caretakers of each kid while they got ready to leave. For some reason, it had become your favorite part of the day - except when the parents were rude, of course. There were only two kids left in your classroom now; the twins Kim Jiu and Ari. They were sweet kids, Jiu slightly shyer than her sister. There were three names on the list beside theirs; their grandparents and their father. From the history, you could see that their grandparents were usually the ones to pick them up. However, they always seemed to be on time. You sat down next to the girls, the two of them still drawing and unbothered by the time they had spent there.

“Hey, girls,” you said, getting their attention for a second before they returned to their drawings. “Do you remember if your grandparents told you that they’d be late today?”

“Our dad is picking us up,” Ari said.

“Is he always a bit late?” you asked, and Ari nodded.

“He works a lot,” Jiu said. She was focused on her drawing. It was a yellow house with green vines growing on it. You looked over her shoulder, finding the house oddly familiar. She mumbled that it was her grandparents' house in the woods. Before you could ask her more questions, the doors to your classroom opened. You recognized his voice before you even had to look at him.

“Sorry, I’m late, girls!” Frozen in fear, you wondered how your past might have snuck up on you twice today. When you finally turned your head to look at the girls’ dad, you saw Mingyu. He was wearing a suit, his hair slightly longer than the last time you had seen him, and his eyes were big with shock.

“Daddy!” Jiu shouted as she ran up to hug her dad’s leg. Mingyu looked away from you to crouch down to hug his daughters, both Ari and Jiu engulfing him. You watched as the girls rambled on about their day. Glancing back at your list, you looked at the father’s name: Kim Mingyu. Maybe you should have known. With a deep breath, you mustered up the courage to walk up to them. Mingyu stood up to greet you.

“They’ve behaved well, I hope,” he said. You knew he recognized you, you could see it in his eyes, but you understood why he couldn’t say anything in front of the twins.

“Oh, they’ve been wonderful. They’ve been welcoming,” you said. “It’s my first day teaching their class.”

“I saw the email.” He nodded and looked down at the girls. “I told them to be on their best behavior.”

“Well, thank you.” You clasped your hands in front of you.

“Are you busy right now?”

“Uhm… no.”

“Could you… follow me out to the car? I have to talk to you.”

Of course, you usually don't follow people out to their cars… but this wasn’t any other parent. You nodded and followed them outside. You recognized his car as the one you had seen standing outside his cottage. Mingyu got his girls into their car seats and closed the doors, making sure they couldn’t hear anything. He turned to you, unable to look you in the eyes at first. Your heart was already beating a mile per minute, but it only quickened when Mingyu met your gaze.

“You left to become a primary school teacher?” He asked, somewhat jokingly.

“I was already a teacher before I met you,” you explained. “And I left because I knew I couldn’t commit to you- which was maybe for the best, seeing as you have kids. Were you married all this time?”

“I’m widowed,” he said calmly. “Their mother died in childbirth.” Your worries melted away. You hadn’t been the other woman again. The worry was replaced with embarrassment and sorrow for both the man in front of you and his kids. How could this day keep getting worse?

“I’m sorry-”

“It’s fine,” he interrupted. “You didn’t know… and I should’ve told you about Jiu and Ari- I was going to eventually.” There was a pause. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. Mingyu reached for your hand, but you quickly stepped away.

“Your kids are in the car,” you said. “We shouldn’t be discussing this here.”

Mingyu reached for his pocket, pulling out a silver rectangle box. It was thin, and when he opened it you could see it was filled with a few cards. He picked one of them up and handed it to you. Kim Mingyu, CEO. His number and the name of his company stood under it in the same black font.

“I want to talk to you again.” He put the box back in his pocket. “Please, call me.”

You accepted the card, studying the letters before looking back at the man in front of you. He wore the same wistful smile he had that last evening in his kitchen. You had never wanted to kiss someone this badly.

“You should go,” you whispered.

“I know,” he murmured. “For what it’s worth… I’m glad I got to see you again.” Unable to say anything, afraid that the tears would come pouring out if you did, you simply nodded. You watched him get in the car before leaving to go back to your classroom.

When you got home that evening, you didn’t know whether you should cry or shout out of happiness. All of these random occurrences made you believe in destiny. To celebrate, you took a hot shower and made yourself a gourmet dinner in the form of your favorite instant ramen, only to sit down on the couch to watch some bad show on Netflix. The card Mingyu gave you sat on the coffee table, distracting you from the movie you had picked. You picked it up and turned it around - fiddling and playing around with it. A sigh escaped your lips, and, with a lot of effort, you sat up and paused the movie. Dialing the number on the card, your thumb rested over the call button. If you didn’t call, he’d just show up to pick up his kids the next day - and that’d be more awkward than a simple phone call. You pressed the green button and put the phone next to your ear, bringing your knees up to your chest. It rang three times before he picked up.

“Hello, this is Kim Mingyu.” He sounded irritated.

“Hi, it’s Y/N… is this a bad time?”

“Oh, Y/N.” His voice immediately changed when he heard who it was. “Sorry, I thought you were someone else… how are you?”

“I’m good…” You took a deep breath. “Are you?”

“I’m fine, sweetheart.” The name slipped out of his lips naturally and causally, but it made your heart flip in your chest. “I just put the kids to bed, so we should have some time to talk.”

“Mingyu…” You cringed at the shake in your voice. “I’m sorry for walking out on you.”

“I understand- you had your reasons,” he said. “I’m sorry for not telling you about the kids.”

“We didn’t talk much, did we?” Mingyu’s laughter was like heaven to your ears, even if it was short and quiet. The tension in your shoulders started fading away.

“You’re right,” he said. “We should meet up sometime. Talk things through.”

“We definitely should��” You bit your bottom lip to try to contain your happiness. “Maybe for coffee?”

“A public space sounds smart.” Mingyu chuckled. “I’ll look at my schedule… I’ve been pretty busy lately.”

“Is that why your parents have been picking up the twins?” you asked without thinking.

“It is,” he admitted. “I try to do it as much as I can… it’s just hard being a single dad.”

“If it helps, your girls seem to think the world of you,” you said, remembering the way their faces had lit up when he walked into the classroom.

“Thanks, Y/N.” You could hear the smile in his voice. “I’ll try to pick them up more… Are you always there during pick-up?”

“Don’t change your schedule to come see me at work,” you joked.

“Can you blame me?”

“I guess not.” You grinned. “... I’m taking care of Ari’s and Jiu’s classes all days except for Mondays. I’ll be there for their play at the end of the month too.”

“Shit- I forgot about the play…” Mingyu groaned. “You know what? I’ll make time for it… I just have to move some things around in my schedule.”

“They’ll be very pleased if you show up,” you promised. “Those girls have been working extra hard, from what I heard.” You heard someone crying in the background and Mingyu cooing at, who you thought must be, one of his daughters. He was holding the phone away from him, but you could hear his comforting words and the shuffling of clothes as he probably lifted the child into his arms.

“Sorry, Y/N, Ari had a nightmare,” he said in a hushed tone. “I’ll see you soon. We’re still on for coffee, right?”

“Of course,” you hummed. “Don’t forget the play.” “I won’t,” he promised and hung up.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ PART TWO. After that phone call, Mingyu kept picking up the girls. He couldn’t do it all the time, of course, but he tried his hardest to show up. Mostly for his girls, especially after you told him how excited they get when they know he’s picking them up, but in part because he gets to see you again. Moreover, the increase in the days he would pick them up wasn’t going unnoticed by the twins. It was late afternoon.

Everyone had left the classroom except for Jiu and Ari, who were sitting in their places drawing. You had been cleaning up, but as soon as everything was put away and the tables were wiped, you sat down next to the girls - which is when you noticed an unusual detail in Jiu’s drawing. Ari always used to make scribbles, preferring to finger-paint or make interesting patterns across the paper with a pen, but Jiu always drew things as she saw them. This time, she had drawn a family portrait. On the page were two smaller people and two taller people. It was a man and a woman. The twins had never met their birth mom, but there was still a woman on the paper. You tried to calm down your nerves - but what if this was a cry for help? What if Jiu needed counseling and she just didn’t know how to say it? She was the quiet one of the two, so it wouldn’t surprise you if she had decided to hold it all in. Not wanting to make a scene, you decided to start a conversation with both of the twins.

“What are you making, girls?” you asked the both of them, looking over at Jiu’s painting with a tinge of worry in your chest.

“A rainbow flowerfield,” Ari said casually as her pen ran across the paper.

“A family portrait,” Jiu said quietly, intently focusing on the details of the grass.

“... could you tell me more about your painting, Jiu?” You studied the four figures on the page.

“That’s dad, me, and Ari.” She pointed out the figures on the paper, eventually getting to the fourth figure. “And that’s you.”

“Me?” You didn’t know if you misheard her, but Jiu nodded confidently. “Why am I in your family portrait, Jiu?”

“Because Dad talks about you all the time,” Ari answered for her sister. “And when Dad comes to pick us up, he always stays and talks with you.”

“You girls are attentive…” You cleared your throat.

“What does attentative mean?” Jiu asked. Before you could answer, Mingyu knocked on the already-opened door to gain your attention. You looked up at him, all of your thoughts disappearing at the sight of his smile. 

“Ready to go, girls?” He asked.

“Gotta go, Mom.” Ari put away her things and grabbed her painting before running over to her dad. You hoped that Mingyu hadn’t heard her, but one look at him said otherwise. His eyes were wide, confused over whether he should laugh it off or be concerned. He opened his mouth to say something but shut it when he looked over at you. Jiu was still gathering her things and with Ari hanging onto his leg, Mingyu walked over to the table where the two of you sat. You stood up immediately, walking away to pretend that you were busy.

“It happens all the time,” you said, looking over your shoulder. It didn’t happen all the time, maybe once or twice per semester.

“I’m so sorry- I think it’s because they see us together so much and-”

“It’s because you talk about her all the time,” Ari interrupted her father. “And she takes care of us when you’re not here, like a mom.”

Mingyu’s face went red and avoided your gaze. Ari’s comment gave you the confidence to walk over to the small family again, having the upper hand now that you knew he talked about you.

“Do you talk about me, Mr. Kim?” you teased.

“Maybe sometimes- you know, before they have to go to school, I tell them to not cause any incidents for you,” he stammered out. "Last night, you asked if Ms. Y/L/N was sick,” Jiu added to the conversation, aiding her sister in the battle against their dad.

“Because you looked a bit tired,” he explained. “And I care about this school's staff- as anyone should.”

“But you never talk about Mr. Hong,” Ari said, “You only ask about Ms. Y/L/N.”

“Alright, girls, I think it's time for us to go home now.” Mingyu ushered the girls towards the door.

“But I want to stay with Mom.” Ari grinned widely, seemingly enjoying making her dad embarrassed.

“I won't go if she doesn’t.” Jiu joined in, crossing her arms over her chest and making her sister do the same.

“Girls, this is really inappropriate-”

“I could go get something to eat right now…” you said. “You girls like cake, right?” The twins cheered, hurrying to get their backpacks and coats. Mingyu looked over at you with a relieved expression. You walked over to your desk to grab your things, and when you turned around, you were met with a thankful-looking Mingyu.

“Cake always works,” you said. “It’s okay right?”

“Of course.” He smiled before turning to the girls again. “Let’s get some cake, ladies!”

There’s a cute little café around the corner from the primary school. You had gone there to celebrate your new job when you first got there, and you remember that their cakes and coffee were delicious. The four of you found a free corner of the booth, where the two girls got to sit on the couch while you and Mingyu took the chairs on the opposite side. While the twins were enjoying the cakes they had gotten, you were waiting for Mingyu to bring over the coffee. He came over with a small tray; standing on it were two cups of coffee and a piece of red velvet cake.

“You still like red velvet, right?” he asked.

“I do- but you didn’t have to.”

“It’s an apology,” he said. “For putting off our date for so long.”

You smiled and let your objections die down. One thing was for sure, Ari had gotten her stubbornness from her dad - and you didn’t want to start something you knew you would lose. Looking over at the two girls talking between themselves, then back at Mingyu, the realization of what you were doing washed over you.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you mumbled.

“I’m happy you are, though,” Mingyu answered. “When Ari’s put her mind to something, she won’t stop until she gets her way.”

At hearing her name, Ari turned to her dad and stuck out her tongue - to which he, of course, responded by sticking out his tongue at her as well. You chuckled at the interaction and took a sip of your coffee.

“It’s a nice trait.” You put your cup back down. “And she finally got me that promised coffee date with you.”

Mingyu put a hand on your knee under the table, trying to convey that he was sorry for not doing this sooner. You sent him a gentle smile in return, making him take his hand away. You picked up the spoon from the tray, sliced into the cake with it, and took a first bite. It wasn’t as good as the muffins Mingyu had given you, but it was still lovely. Using the spoon to get another piece, you held it up to Mingyu’s lips this time. Holding your gaze, he let you feed him. For a moment, everything else disappeared. You had forgotten just how much Mingyu’s eyes could make you feel. However, the moment was ruined as you heard giggles across the table. You quickly put the spoon down and pretended like you hadn’t just gotten butterflies in your stomach.

“I’m glad you can be our mom,” Jiu said suddenly. “The other lady wasn’t as nice as you.” The other lady? You looked over at Mingyu again with an arched brow, silently asking him to explain himself.

“I was seeing someone before I met you. It ended pretty quickly… that’s why I spent some time at the cottage last year,” he explained, and the tension in your shoulders disappeared. “It isn’t nice to talk behind people’s backs, okay kids? And Ms. Y/L/N isn’t your mom.”

“Why not?” Ari asked.

“Because…” Mingyu tried to find an answer but trailed off instead. You weren’t one to put yourself into other people’s business, but explaining things to kids was your job - and you trusted that Mingyu wouldn’t take offense to you saying a few words at this moment, especially not since he kept glancing over at you.

“You know when you really like someone?” You said, getting the girls' attention. “You might decide that you’re going to hold hands or be together, right?” The two girls nodded. “We adults do the same thing,” you explained. “Except for us, there’s a stage before we say that we’re together. We spend some time getting to know each other better by going out and doing things like getting dinner or seeing a movie.”

“Are you doing that right now?” Jiu asked.

“Not exactly…” You looked over at Mingyu, who gave you a supportive nod. “Usually, you spend time alone together, and I haven’t gotten to do that with your dad… so we’re not together, and that’s why I can’t be your mom.”

“Then I think he needs to hurry up,” Jiu deadpanned before taking the last bite of her cake. Glancing over at Mingyu again, you saw how flustered he had gotten from the comment. You decided at that moment that you’d join the girls in their teasing - seeing his flushed face was enough motivation.

“He should hurry, shouldn’t he?” you said, and both of the girls nodded. “Well, I’ll forgive him since he’s been so busy - but he needs to make up for it.”

“Could he take you out to dinner tomorrow night, then?” Mingyu asked with a sheepish smile.

“What do you think?” You turned to the girls. They were both furiously nodding, making you break out into a chuckle. You turned back to Mingyu, pretending to think it over. He looked like he was about to fall apart, so you decided to put him out of his misery. “Absolutely.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ It’s a Saturday evening when you’re getting ready for your date. You had spent your day at home, trying to find an outfit to wear for your night out. Mingyu had texted you to wear something pretty, but that it should be comfortable for you. With the vague directions, there were a myriad of things that you could put together. You hadn’t been on a real date since before Wonwoo - unless you counted what you and Mingyu did at the cottage as dating. The expectations were high, which left you feeling stressed. However, when you find an old dress in the back of your closet, you feel the tension in your shoulders melt away. It was a dress you had bought two years ago that you hadn’t gotten to wear yet - you had bought it yourself, which was unusual during your last relationship, without a plan for when you were going to wear it. You had just bought it because it was pretty, and it still managed to make you feel beautiful. For once, during these traumatic few years, you felt pretty and subsequently happy. You knew you shouldn’t base your happiness on your beauty, but was it so wrong to feel glee over getting ready and genuinely liking what the mirror showed you? The apartment phone rang, and you pressed the button to answer. A surge of energy went through your veins at the thought of Mingyu coming to get you - your heart quickening to a pitter-patter pace.

“Hello?” You said.

“Hi, sweetheart.” His voice rang sweetly in your ears. “Could you let me up?”

“I’ll come down to meet you!” you chimed.  Mingyu’s soft chuckle even managed to make you weak in the knees over the apartment phone.

“Alright, I’ll see you soon.” When the elevator doors open, you can see Mingyu’s figure through the glass of the front door. Sprinting toward the door, you excitedly pulled it open to see all of him. Mingyu smiled as soon as he saw you, making your heart feel even warmer. His eyes traveled up and down your body, drinking in your appearance. He looked fantastic himself, in his usual suit and perfectly styled hair. 

“Hi,” you said as you closed the door behind you, unable to look away from him. 

“Wow,” was all Mingyu said.

“Do you like it?” You looked down at the dress, twisting and turning so that he could see a little more of it.

“You look stunning,” he said, holding his hand out for you to take. “I love it.”

You take his hand, and he guides you away from the apartment complex. His words made you feel giddy, the kind of feeling you get when you watch a very romantic movie with a handsome lead. At the end of the street, you see a cab waiting for you. The walk to the car is silent but filled with anticipation. Mingyu’s hand is warm in yours, his thumb gently rubbing the back of your hand. When you arrive at the cab, Mingyu opens the door for you and holds your hand while you get in before he gets in beside you.  The evening started with drinks. As you had expected, the restaurant he took you to was fancy. You had been to these kinds of places before, but it had been a while - and you had never been to this particular place. Mingyu ordered for you, per your request, and you ended up being pleasantly surprised. The food was almost too pretty to eat, but when you did, it was like your mouth had an orgasm. Your eyes widened as you chewed, looking over at Mingyu to see if he was having the same experience. He was looking at you with an amused smile.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“More than okay.” You put down your fork as if you could take a break from the intense flavor. “This is delicious.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Mingyu chuckled.

“I do- I mean, maybe it’s because I haven’t eaten something like this in a while…” You picked up your wine glass and brought it to your lips.

“Well, it’s our first date, so it has to be special.” Mingyu was looking down at his plate, an uncharacteristically shy smile playing on his lips. 

“It is special.” You put your hand, palm facing up, on the table. “I’m happy you asked me out.”

Mingyu put his hand in yours, locking eyes with yours again. The two of you look at each other, the rest of the restaurant fading away. Butterflies fly out of your ribcage, tickling the insides of your chest with their wings. Mingyu looks like your dream man; kind eyes, a pretty smile, and a beautiful man in general - the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. Not only that, he was kind and understanding; patient and confident. The waiter walking over to give the two of you your next meal was the only reason you broke out of your trance. You thanked the waiter and ogled at the delicious-looking food. Another waiter came by to pour you more wine. While you were reacting to your surroundings, Mingyu stayed looking at you lovingly. 

“Do you want to go dancing after this?” He asked suddenly.

“Dancing? What kind of dancing?”

“Ballroom dancing,” Mingyu said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I know a place.”

“Why am I not surprised?” You chuckled. “Sure, I’ll go dancing with you.” Mingyu squeezed your hand before letting go to start eating.

After dinner, the two of you get back into a cab and travel from the city towards the suburbs. You had no idea where he was taking you, but you trusted him fully - maybe it was the alcohol, or Mingyu had truly laid out all of his cards on the table for you to see. In the back of the cab, you were sitting cuddled up next to Mingyu. His warmth was intoxicating, and you found yourself sinking further and further into his shoulder. Outside, the city lights grew fewer and fewer as you got closer to your destination in the suburbs. There were the occasional streetlights, but they were less bright than everything in the city. Darkness lulled over you like a parental blanket, urging you to close your eyes and sleep in the comfort of Mingyu’s presence. However, before you could fall asleep, you had arrived at your destination and Mingyu helped you out of the cab. You had stopped in front of a beautiful, old building with large windows. Music was playing inside, which you could hear from where you were standing on the sidewalk, but it was too muddled to figure out what it was. The chilly air woke you up somewhat, but sleep still lingered in the corner of your eyes.

“Don’t fall asleep on me just yet, sweetheart.” Mingyu came up beside you after paying for the cab and let you hook your arm around his. “This is one of my favorite places, I’m practically a regular, and I want you to enjoy it with me.”

“Then I have to stay awake, don’t I?” You steadied yourself against the man beside you and followed him inside the establishment. When you walk inside, Mingyu says his name to the receptionist, and they let him inside. He wasn’t lying when he said he was a regular. The corridor was wide and lit with warm-tinted lamps, giving everything a golden hue. It looked straight out of an Art Deco architecture magazine; marble floors with a geometric design, dark green walls, and golden details here and there. You were glad that you hadn’t fallen asleep - especially as you approached the ballroom. It was a large, round room - in the middle of which people were currently dancing. You could see a few people who looked to be around your age, but most of them seemed to be pensioners. 

“You weren’t joking about ballroom dancing,” you said. “Why would I?”

He grinned and offered you his hand. “Would you like to dance with me?”

“Oh- well, I’m not any good-”

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” Mingyu grabbed your hand and dragged you out to the dance floor. One of his hands rested on your waist while the other still held yours. It was a simple foxtrot, but you still had trouble following along. You kept stepping on Mingyu’s feet, cringing every time you did. However, when you tried to look down to see what you were doing, you were quickly corrected by Mingyu. He’d remove his hand from your waist to lift your chin back up, making you face him. Each time you’d huff, and he’d chuckle at your annoyance. It all became a little easier when a little slower song came on: Body & Soul by Billie Holiday. Mingyu brought you in a little closer, your chests touching completely. His cheek leaned against yours, and his hand on your back traveled up to rest right by your shoulder blades. The two of you simply swayed, moving in small steps around the room. In this relaxed tempo, you could finally stop and think.

“Why are you a regular here?” You asked.

“I’m not really,” he explained, “They’ve held a few charities here that I’ve donated to, and sometimes they hold events here for the people at the retirement home that you can volunteer for. I go whenever I have the time, so they’ve seen a lot of me.”

“Are you even real?” You jokingly asked as you removed your cheek from his to take a good look at him. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

“Well…” He breathed out. “There’s this woman that I’m practically head over heels for… but I can’t seem to get my shit together and kiss her, even though it’s all I can think about.”

“Oh?” You raised your eyebrow at him, playing along. “Tell me more about this woman.”

“Alright... First of all, she’s gorgeous,” he hummed. “More importantly, she’s warm-hearted, and she’s great with my kids- which is a big deal breaker for me… and I admire her strength, how she can keep going after what she’s been through.”

“Yeah?” You wrapped both of your arms around his neck.

“Yeah,” he said.

“I think she wants to kiss you, too,” you admitted. Mingyu put his free hand on your cheek, bringing you in for a chaste kiss… followed by another, slightly longer one. The two of you stopped moving, focusing on just getting closer. When he pulled away from you, he started smiling proudly.

“As much as I loved being here, I really want to leave with you now,” you murmured.

“Your wish is my command, sweetheart.” Mingyu pecked your lips a final time before leading you off the dance floor.

Outside the venue, the air was colder than it had been when you had gotten out of the cab earlier that evening. Noticing your shivering, Mingyu shrugged off his jacket and put it around your shoulders. You were about to protest, but feeling the warmth wrap around you made you quiet down.

“Thank you,” you said to him.

“I can’t have you getting a cold on our first date,” he mumbled. “Do you want to walk around for a bit? This place is peaceful at this time of night.”

“I’d like that.” You gave him a nod and a smile, locking arms with him again. Mingyu walked slowly with you down the street. It was peaceful, as he had said; most of the lights in the houses were off, but the few homes that were still awake gave the street a certain glow. It all feels magical, too good to be true… which it is. You don’t recognize him at first. You only see a couple walking with their stroller. However, when they get closer, you can’t help but recognize your ex-husband. Surprisingly, he doesn’t see you at first - he notices Mingyu first.

“Kim Mingyu!” He said with a smile and a wave. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

“Mr. Jeon.” Mingyu goes to shake your old lover’s hand. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you since our meeting.”

The two of them talked while you stood frozen in fear. Do they know each other? How had you never seen them together before? Your eyes went over to the stroller, and seeing the baby in it made your heart sink. She looked like Wonwoo - you had seen his baby photos, and she was almost a complete replica of them. Gyeong Hui gave you a bittersweet smile, looking at you with knowing eyes. She had already recognized you. Looking back at Wonwoo, who was still talking to Mingyu, you wondered if he was happy. All of these thoughts were washed away when you finally met Wonwoo’s gaze. For a moment, you forgot that he had moved on from you. His eyes were kind, a soft smile on his lips. However, as quickly as he managed to make you feel comfortable, he also made your nerves worse.

“Y/N…” he said. “Hi.”

“Hi, Wonwoo.” Your voice was weak, more so than you wanted to.

“Ah… is this the Mingyu you were talking about?” He pointed between you and Mingyu, and you could feel the man next to you tense up. 

“I… uh…” You looked at Mingyu, who didn’t show a twinge of confusion despite you being caught in your lie. “Yes.”

“Well, I’m glad you found someone like him.”  Wonwoo approving of your relationship was the last thing you wanted. You didn’t want him to have anything to do with your new relationship - you just wanted him out of your life. After some small talk, you go your separate ways. Wonwoo goes home with his family, and you’re left standing, feeling like the husk of yourself. Mingyu’s hand rested on your back, rubbing it comfortingly.

“I didn’t know…” he said.

“It’s okay,” you muttered. “I’m sorry about telling him I was seeing you- I didn’t even know what I was thinking. I just met him while on my way to work- I hadn’t even seen you since the cottages, but I just blurted out that we were dating and-”

“You don’t have to explain,” he interrupted. “It’s a little flattering in a way.”

You chuckled, immediately feeling lighter as he joked it away. Mingyu brought you in for a hug, letting you bury your face in his warm chest. Wrapping your arms around him, you felt tears start burning in your eyes. When Mingyu heard you sniffle, he put his hand on the back of your head - silently telling you to stay and cry for as long as you need to. You grip onto his shirt, probably creasing the expensive material. You couldn’t bring yourself to fully sob, but a few tears escaped from the corner of your eyes.

“Do you want me to call a cab and take you home?” Mingyu asked. You nodded, and Mingyu immediately pulled out his phone. Standing outside your apartment complex, Mingyu was still holding your hand. Your eyes were red and puffy from crying in the cab, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“I’m sorry for ruining tonight,” you said.

“You didn’t.” He squeezed your hand. “I knew that things wouldn’t be completely normal with you, and I’m fine with that.”

“Stop being so perfect,” you jokingly groaned and leaned your head against his shoulder.

“Sorry, I can’t help it.” Mingyu laughed. You looked back up at him. Even if it was just a joke, to you, he truly was perfect. His big puppy-dog eyes looked back down at you as if he were trying to figure out what you were thinking about. When you leaned a little closer, Mingyu took the opportunity to lean down and press a kiss on your lips. It was chaste and sweet but left you wanting more.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” As Mingyu went to leave, you didn’t let go of his hand. You couldn’t.

“... could you stay with me tonight?” You asked.

“Are you sure? You don’t want to be alone?”

“If you have a babysitter at home, I get it.” You put your other hand on his. “But I want you here, Mingyu.”

“Well, I can’t say no to that.” He smiles. “The girls are with their grandparents. I’ll just tell them that I’ll come by a little later tomorrow to pick them up.”

Mingyu made himself at home in your apartment, sitting with you on the couch while a movie is playing on the TV. Your head is on his chest, and Mingyu’s arm is wrapped around you. The domestic scene feels just right as if you’d been doing this for years together. However, as it gets late, you realize that you don’t have any clothes for Mingyu to borrow. He was still in his suit, sans jacket, and that couldn’t be too comfortable. So, while Mingyu was washing up in the bathroom, you were furiously looking through your wardrobe to find something for him to wear. You were so focused on the task at hand that you didn’t hear Mingyu walking into the room.

“Did you lose something?” He asked. His sudden question made you jump, quickly whipped around to look at him. Mingyu was holding his neatly folded clothes in his hands, putting himself on full display. He was standing confidently in nothing but his underwear as if he was straight out of a Calvin Klein ad.

“... I was going to find you something to wear.” You looked him up and down. “I guess that’s not an issue anymore.”

“Don’t act like you haven’t seen me naked before,” he joked.

“No, I-” You huffed. “I just wanted to make sure you’re comfortable.”

“I appreciate it, sweetheart, but I’m fine just like this if you are.” He put down his clothes on a nearby chair. “And if you want me to sleep on the couch, I’ll do that.”

“I want to sleep with you.” You regretted it as soon as you said it, twisting your face in embarrassment as you heard Mingyu chuckle. “I mean… I want to sleep next to you… I’m going to wash up. Make yourself comfortable.”

Before Mingyu could tease you, you left the room. You could hear him laugh behind you, making your cheeks get even hotter.  After washing up in the bathroom, you change into your somewhat embarrassing pajamas and go back to the bedroom. Mingyu was lying in your bed. The covers dragged up to his mid-torso. He was scrolling on his phone but looked up as soon as he heard you come in. His eyes focused on your white pajama pants with small red hearts, a big grin appearing on his face.

“Don’t laugh,” you warned.

“They’re cute,” he assured you. Mingyu reached over to the other side of the bed, pulling away the covers for you to get in. Walking up to the side of the bed, you hesitantly sit down. You hadn’t slept in the same bed as him for over a year. It felt weird to see him like this like you were trying to remake a distant memory. Nevertheless, you lay down and pull up the covers. As Mingyu turns over to turn off the light, you watch his back carefully. A need to reach out and touch his bare skin fills you, burning in the bottom of your stomach. When Mingyu turned back around, he shuffled closer to you but didn’t touch you yet.

“... do you still like to cuddle to fall asleep?” he mumbled. Y

ou nodded and immediately shut your eyes as Mingyu wrapped his arms around you. His body was warm, and every muscle in your body relaxed under his touch. Your head was on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. At first, Mingyu’s hands stayed still on your back. However, they soon started moving around - drawing circles on your skin over the fabric of your shirt and even letting his fingers slide under the hem of your shirt.

“Mingyu…” you hummed.

“Yes, sweetheart?” He asked innocently while his hands continued feeling you up.

“What are you doing?” You smiled, burying your face deeper in his chest.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No.”

Mingyu’s hand made their way to the top of your pajama bottoms. Grazing the skin under the fabric, he whispered out if it was okay - to which you whimpered out a yes. He pulled down your pants to your mid-thigh, groping your ass before turning you around to lay with your back against his chest. You felt his semi-hard cock poking against your ass. The anticipation of finally feeling him inside you again made you dizzy. His hand cupped your pussy over the thin material of your underwear, then let his hand up to the hem of your panties… only to go past them and rest on your lower stomach.

“Gyu?” You mumbled as you were brought out of your daze.

“Are you sure you want this?” he muttered against the skin of your neck. You turned around to look at him. His pupils were blown out, but his eyes were still filled with worry. You got closer to him, pressing your lips against his in an attempt to show him how much you needed him right now. Mingyu responded to your kiss but pulled away just a few seconds later - his lips ghosting over yours.

“I just mean that you were upset before– I didn’t think before I started this,” he explained softly. “And I don’t want you to feel like you have to or do it because you’re not in the right state of mind… you just looked so pretty, and I-”

“Gyu,” you repeated, getting him to stop talking. “I want you.” Your lips reconnected, and you could feel Mingyu smiling against you. You cling onto Mingyu’s shoulders as he turned you over to be on top of him. In the middle of your kiss, you managed to kick your pajama pants off - only breaking contact to let out a soft giggle at the strange situation. Sitting comfortably with your legs on either side of his hips, you began pressing quick kisses to his jaw. Trailing kisses down his neck, you find a sensitive spot right by his ear - that made a whine slip out between his lips when you attached your lips to it.

“I thought I had figured out how to push all of your buttons already,” you muttered against his skin.

“Guess you’ll have to keep experimenting on me.” He grinned. “I’m a willing test subject.”

“Of course you are,” you purred. You got down to his hips, pulling at his underwear until he helped you take them off. His big cock slapped against his abdomen, and your mouth watered at the sight. While Mingyu’s hands were gripping your pillows, you were trying to take his entire length in your mouth. Peering up at him through your lashes, you could see his face contorted in pleasure.

“I missed your mouth so much, baby,” he whined, and you hummed in response. “Fuck… you’re gonna make me cum from just that…” He gently grabbed your hair and pulled you off him. “Save it for another time,” he rasped. “I need to fuck you, please…”

“Do you have a condom?” you asked. “I don’t have any here…”

“No… but I got checked just a couple of months ago. I haven’t been with anyone since you last year,” he admitted.

“Are you asking me if you can fuck me raw?” You grinned.

“Yes?” You crawled back up to kiss him, letting him taste himself on your tongue. He moaned into your mouth, and you felt yourself getting more and more lost in pleasure. Mingyu grabbed your hips, subtly moving them over his abs. Feeling the soft ridges over the material of your panties made you whine. You broke the kiss, trying to catch your breath.

“Fuck me. I need you to take control of me,” you murmured. “Do what you want with me– just let me forget everything…”

Something in him snapped, and before you knew it, Mingyu had flipped you over, manhandling you to have your ass up in the air. Your chest was pressed against your mattress, your face hidden in the pillows. His cock, after having teased your entrance, stretched you out. He hadn’t prepped you for it at all, but he had gotten you wet enough to slide it in without much effort. A soft moan of relief left your lips as he bottomed out.

“Move,” you grunted. He followed your orders immediately, pulling out almost completely before thrusting back into you. You could picture his expression in front of you; his eyebrows knitted together, his eyes shut tight, and his mouth hung wide open. His hands were gripping your hips, pulling you back as he thrust his hips. The noises he was making were almost animalistic and mixed with the filthy sounds coming out of your mouth, you knew you were going to get a noise complaint. You couldn’t help it, and you didn’t care. Mingyu had never been so domineering before - asking him to take full control of you must have flipped a switch in his brain. So when he pulled you up by your hair, wrapping an arm around your middle to hold you there, you let out a surprised gasp. His thrusts continued while he started kissing the side of your neck.

“I’m better than him, aren’t I?” He grunted. At first, his words didn’t meet your brain, too far gone to process what he was saying. But when you finally understood what he had said, you were shocked at his bluntness. More importantly, you were shocked at how much you liked it. 

“Yes,” you moaned. “

Say it.” “You’re better than him,” you whined. “Fuck– you’re bigger than him, too!”

“Yeah?” He thrust harder into you. “Gonna make you forget all about him… do you want that, baby?”

Words couldn’t come out of your mouth. Your jaw was slack, Mingyu coaxing moan after moan from your throat, and you could only nod. With inappropriately gentle hands, Mingyu helped you lay down with your back on the bed. The empty feeling you got when he pulled out of you made you whine, but you were soon shut up by Mingyu burying himself in you again. As he continued thrusting, his lips attached to your clavicle - trailing down to your chest to let his tongue slide over the pebbled flesh. Your fingers entangled themselves in his hair, holding him there.

“You’re making me feel so good, Gyu,” you whined, followed by a string of curses. “Please, make me cum!”

With a new motivation, Mingyu’s lips left you as he focused all of his energy on your cunt. Thrusting into your sopping hole and rubbing your clit until you were convulsing under him. As your eyes rolled into the back of your head, you saw a bright light and felt a warmth spreading from your core. After your orgasm, your limbs grew limp, and you didn’t even have the energy to open your eyes. Mingyu pulled out of you, cumming on your stomach after pumping his cock in his hand a few times. He collapsed beside you, making sure not to crush you with his body.

“Sweetheart?” His voice rang sweetly in your ears, making you smile. “Are you still awake?”

You hummed, turning to hug him closer. He welcomed you in his arms, and when your sweaty skin met his, you could swear that you could feel static between you. After a while of staying in the same position, you found yourself almost falling asleep. You knew that you’d hate yourself in the morning if you didn’t clean up, so you gently tapped Mingyu’s shoulder to get his attention.

“Can you help me to the bathroom?” you whispered. “Sure, sweetheart.”

Mingyu got up, stretching slightly before he picked you up like you weighed nothing. He carried you over to the bathroom with your guidance and put you down to draw the two of you a bath. You handed him some of your bath products - calming serums, bath bubbles, the works - which he put in without question. When your bathroom started smelling like an English garden and the bathtub was filled with water, Mingyu helped you into the tub and then sat down behind you. You settled in your place, relaxing your muscles in the hot water, and leaned your back against Mingyu’s broad chest. A sigh escaped your lips, and Mingyu chuckled.

“Feeling tired?” He teased, and you nodded. 

“Yeah,” you breathed out. “It was worth it, though.” Mingyu wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his face in the crook of your neck. He pressed chaste kisses to your sensitive skin - suddenly so different from the way he was before. You turned your head to give him more access, but Mingyu’s kisses stopped.

“It was good then?” he asked with a slight hint of worry laced in his tone.

“Really good.” You looked at him over your shoulder. “I didn’t know you had that side in you.”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.” He pecked the side of your mouth. “You’ll find out.”

You grinned and turned back around, settling back into your previous position. The two of you sat there for a while until the water wasn’t quite as hot anymore.  When you got back out, you drained the bath and washed off quickly before wrapping yourselves in fluffy towels. Your legs were still sore, but not as much as they were before the bath. Still, Mingyu insisted on helping you back to bed. After laying you down, he pulled the covers over your body and went around the bed to get in himself. Neither of you had bothered with putting on new clothes, and you found yourself enjoying the feeling of his skin against yours - nothing was in between you.

“Do you want me to stay tomorrow?” Mingyu asked suddenly.

“Why wouldn’t I want you to stay?” You chuckled. “I thought you might want space,” he mumbled.

“I’ve had enough space from you,” you reminded him. “Stay for as long as you want, Gyu.” Mingyu let out a giggle - you would never get over the feeling you got from hearing this big, confident man giggle. His arms wrapped a little tighter around you, pressing your face into his chest, and he put his chin on the top of your head. Mingyu’s giggle was contagious, almost like he was transmitting his energy to you.

“What?”

“I like it when you call me Gyu,” he said. 

“Good,” you hummed. “Sleep well, Gyu.”

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” He pressed a kiss on the top of your head. You stayed with your ear pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It started out fast, but as he slowly fell asleep, it started slowing down as well. The rhythm made you drift away to sleep.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ PART THREE. The next time you saw Mingyu, it was unexpected. You had decided to go to the park to enjoy the spring warmth and an excellent book. It was Sunday the week after your date, which meant that you didn't have any work, and you could do whatever you liked with your time. The thought of asking Mingyu if he wanted to meet up certainly popped into your brain, but you assumed that he was busy. You had been texting him frequently, and he had shown up to pick up his kids almost every day the past week, but you still felt a little awkward to ask him out suddenly. The possibility of rejection was too high - he could be busy with work or with his kids, and you didn’t want to interrupt either of those things. 

The park was big, another plus of living in a well-off neighborhood, and it had many benches where you could spend your leisure time. The weather was just right, not too cold and not too hot. There were some concerning dark clouds in the sky, but they were too far away for you to care about them. Most of the park was just fields, which was perfect for the dogs running around, but there were also small patches of trees and a few playgrounds here and there. It was a peaceful scene this early in the day. After walking for a while, you found a spot by a small duck pond with a bench looking over the water. After sitting down, you pulled out your book and started reading. It felt nice to get out of your apartment. if you hadn't, you would've been sitting on the couch watching yet another show by now. The thought was tantalizing, but being here was better for your overall health. Besides, if you hadn't ended up sitting down at that bench, you wouldn't have met up with Mingyu. In the distance, you could hear a familiar pitchy voice shout your name. When you looked up, you saw two kids running toward you.

“Ms. Y/L/N!” Ari shouted with a big smile, her sister running right beside her.

Behind them, you could see Mingyu walking towards you. He was unusually dressed down - just light-wash jeans and a white collared shirt under a thin jacket - but it suited him. You put your finger where you left off on the page before closing the book. A smile spread across your lips as you watched the two girls approach you, and you put the book back in your bag to greet them.

“What are you guys doing here?” You asked as they reached the bench you were sitting on.

“We decided to take a morning walk to the duck pond.” Mingyu had caught up with the twins, now standing just a little bit away from the bench. “We tried our luck on the other side of the pond, but the ducks over there didn’t like us.”

“He was going to feed the ducks with us, but the ducks swam away,” Jiu explained.

“Yeah…” Ari disappointedly looked up at her dad, “He scared them away.”

“I was trying to get closer to them!” he exclaimed with an embarrassed look on his face. You let out a soft laugh at the trio. Their antics were endless, but you enjoyed watching the show they put on. A small ache took its place in your chest. Watching them made you remember the family that you had always wanted.

“Dad's also helping us practice for the play,” Jiu added. “Because he said he can't come on Friday, so he wanted to watch us do it now.”

You had almost forgotten that the play was just in a few days. Seeing the brave faces the girls put on, despite clearly being sad at the knowledge of their dad’s absence at the play, made your heart sink.

“You can't be there?” You furrowed your brows as you looked up at Mingyu.

“There's a meeting I have to be at, and it ends right as the play is supposed to start.” He sighed. “I told them I would try to make it, but, you know…”

“Well, I heard that they record the plays, so... maybe I can get you a copy of that,” you suggested. “But I do hope that you at least try to get there, even if you only see the last parts.”

"Of course…” He nodded, and the conversation faded into silence. “... I texted you this morning.”

“You did?” You took your phone out of your bag. “Sorry, I put my phone on silent earlier.”

It was a short message, a simple question if you would like to meet up in the park. You smiled when you saw it. When you looked back up at him, he was looking away. A slight blush was spread across his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

“Dad said you couldn't come with us to see the ducks. Did you change your mind?” Jiu asked. Her question made Mingyu's face grow even redder, and your smile grew fonder. You looked down at Jiu, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face.

“Yes, I did,” you said and stood up.

“Oh, but if you're busy-” Mingyu started, but you quickly cut him off.

“I'm not busy,” you assured him.

Mingyu’s smile when you told him you’d join them made your heart soar, and you realized at that moment that you’d do anything to make him happy. You spent the day with Mingyu and his daughters, feeding the ducks, going to the playground, and simply enjoying each other's company. Towards the middle of the afternoon, the clouds that you hadn't bothered being worried about were a lot closer than before. Mingyu helped the girls zip up their coats before he turned to you. You were just wearing a blouse and a skirt since you weren't expecting to stay at the park for so long. It was cold, but nothing you couldn’t handle.

“Are you cold?” Mingyu asked, although he was already shrugging off his jacket.

“I’m fine, Mingyu,” you tried to protest, but it was in vain. Mingyu's jacket engulfed your shoulders as he draped it around you. He fixed the collar of the jacket to hang securely, also letting his hands stay near you. You looked up at his face. He was staring right at you with a warm look in his eye. You remembered the night you had spent together last week, wishing to go back there.

“I wouldn't want you to catch a cold,” he murmured. “You take care of my kids, after all.”

“Is that the only reason?” you asked, faking being offended.

“Of course not,” he said with a small smile as he gently pushed some hair out of your face. He opened his mouth to add something, but before he could it started raining. Small droplets landed on your nose. You looked up at the about-to-be-downpour and took a step away from him.

“We should go home,” Mingyu said, turning to his girls. “What do you say, girls?”

“Will Ms. Y/L/N come with us?” they asked.

“No, girls, I have to go home.” You crouched down to their eye level. “But I will see you tomorrow, okay?”

They both nodded and unexpectedly swung their small arms around your neck - the force almost making you stumble backward. You hugged them back and glanced up at Mingyu.

“I will see you tomorrow, too then?” He asked as you stood up.

“Of course.” You smiled. “I have to return this jacket, after all.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ The very next day, you were in your usual classroom, waiting for Mingyu to pick up his daughters. They were the last ones there, as they always were, but this time it was getting very late. You were stealing worried glances at the clock every other minute. What if something had happened to him on the way here? It was late enough for you to call him up and ask him where he was, and if he didn’t pick up, you’d need to call the kids’ grandparents.

“Did your dad say that he would be later than usual today?” You asked the girls carefully.

“No,” Ari said. “But he looked tired, so maybe he fell asleep.”

Before you could question her any further, Mingyu barged in through the door. If you thought seeing him in jeans and a t-shirt was weird, it was even stranger to see him in sweatpants. Like Ari said, he looked exhausted - even sick.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, and you couldn’t tell if he meant it for you or his twins. “I didn’t mean to be late, and I fell asleep in my study-”

“Slow down-” You tried to interrupt his ramblings, but he ended up interrupting himself with a sneeze.

“Mingyu, are you alright?” You got up from your chair and approached him. At first, Mingyu was apprehensive to let you near him. However, he didn’t have the energy to get away from you and ended up even leaning into you when you put your palm against his forehead.

“You’re burning up,” you mumbled.

“I just have a small fever, I’m…” He let out a soft sigh as you repositioned your hand to cup his cheek. “That feels nice.”

The girls giggled behind you, reminding you that they were still there and that you should try to not make a scene to worry them. Despite how endearing Mingyu looked right now, you took your hand away from his face. He was stumbling even though he wasn’t moving, and you quickly got him to sit down in a chair.

“Why didn’t you let your parents pick them up?” You whispered to him. “You didn’t go to work like this, did you?”

“I did... they sent me home, so I worked in my home office,” he explained with a goofy grin. “It's a lot nicer to work from home. I don't have to dress up... but I didn't want to miss seeing you, so I didn't bother asking my parents.”

Your blood started pumping with irritation as he kept smiling. He was taking this way too lightly - this was his health he was talking about, and he was joking it away. Did he just not care?

“Kim Mingyu, you are so incredibly irresponsible,” you said, making his smile fade away. “You should be resting… Did you drive here?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“I’ll drive you home.” You sighed. “Is that okay with you?”

Mingyu handed you his keys, which you quickly accepted. This was definitely against some sort of work code, but you didn't care. These girls needed to get home safely, and Mingyu needed to rest as much as he could.

“Let’s go, girls,” you said. “I’m taking you home.”

You walked out with Mingyu leaning against you and the twins following close behind. Lucky for you, your coworkers were nowhere to be seen - probably because of the late hour. It went smoothly to get out of the building, and the parking lot was pretty much empty too. You remembered what Mingyu’s car looked like and found it with minimal guidance from the man beside you. After getting the girls into their respective seats and buckling their seat belts, you got into the driver's seat. Mingyu was sitting beside you, leaning his head against the headrest. Now that he could settle down and had his eyes closed, he looked peaceful. You still had his jacket from yesterday that you had tucked under your arm before walking out of the building. Mingyu was shivering despite you turning up the heat in the car, so you took the jacket and draped it over his chest. Looking back at the girls, you tried to look confident and not like you were worried sick about their dad.

“Are you ready to go home, girls?” You asked and they both nodded. Turning back to face the wheel, you took a deep breath before starting the car. You drove them to their home, following the GPS' orders carefully. Mingyu was asleep during the drive, and the girls sat in the backseat, whispering and giggling. When you got to the destination, you had to wake him up, shaking his shoulder gently while keeping your eyes on the road.

“Sorry to wake you,” you murmured. “Where am I supposed to park?”

“It's this house right there. Just park the car right in front of the garage... I'll fix it later,” he mumbled.

It was a big, modern house - probably newly built just a few years ago. Big floor-to-ceiling windows took up most of the otherwise white walls with dark wooden details. It was pretty much a box with a lot of interesting extensions, giving the whole house a very structured geometric feel. Shaking off the wonder you felt from just staring at the outside of the house, you parked and got out to help the girls. Mingyu went out shortly after you, still stumbling slightly as he walked towards the door.

“I’ll unlock the door,” he said with a yawn.

The inside of the home was well decorated and had dark wooden floors, matching the exterior details. There was a big living room area, which was connected to a patio. You could see back into the garden through the big glass sliding doors, quickly noticing a pool back there. The kitchen was also in the downstairs area. The cabinets were black, and the floor was lined with classic black and white tiles. Everything looked neatly put together, especially compared to your apartment. You helped the kids with their shoes and jackets, letting them run ahead after you were done. Mingyu took off his shoes by himself before slumping against the wall.

“You should go to bed,” you told him.

“Will you go with me?” He asked in a flirtatious tone.

“You’re getting on my nerves today…” You sighed and tried to bite back your smile. “I’ll put on the TV for the girls and help you to bed. Is that okay?”

Mingyu nodded, and you quickly went into the living room. The twins were already sitting on the couch, whispering between themselves.

“Do you girls want to watch something?”

“Yes, please!” They sounded in unison. You turned on the TV, after a few tries, and put on a show that the girls said they wanted to watch. They were sucked into it before you knew it, and you hurried over to Mingyu, who was still slumped against the wall.

“Let’s get you to bed,” you murmured. “Where’s your bedroom?”

“Upstairs.” Mingyu’s bedroom was neat, but the bed was unmade. Everything was decorated in black, giving it a sleek look. Leaning against the headboard, you helped Mingyu get into bed and pull the covers over him. You sat down on the edge of the bed, watching him with worried eyes.

“Did you get sick yesterday?” You asked.

“I’ve been feeling a little under the weather for a while now,” he explained. “But I don’t think yesterday helped.”

“I’m sorry.” You took his hand in yours, bringing it to lay in your lap.

“It’s not your fault, sweetheart,” he said. “Thank you for taking me home… you were right. I was being irresponsible.” “Do you need anything else? I can make dinner for you and the girls.”

“That’d be very nice.” He nodded and closed his eyes. “I’ll help you. I just need to rest for a bit.”

“No, you won’t.” You sighed. “You’re going to rest up. I’ll bring food to you.”

“Thank you… please take care of the girls first. You can give me my food after putting them to bed- actually, I could get it myself. Just tell me when-”

“Mingyu,” you warned. “Let me take care of everything. I’ll put the girls to bed and get you food afterward, okay?”

“Okay…” Mingyu took a deep breath. “Their bedtime is eight o’clock sharp. Their room is down the hall to the right, in front of my office.”

“I’ll take care of it,” you promised and tucked him in a little better. “Rest well, okay?”

Mingyu let out a grunt for an answer as you got up to leave the room. Taking a final look at the sleeping Mingyu, you close the door behind you. The upstairs area wasn't as big as the downstairs area, but it was around the same size as your entire apartment. You looked around in awe, never having imagined that this was what Mingyu's home would look like. Despite having two kids, he kept everything clean - at least you thought so until you saw the kids' room. Toys were scattered here and there, but there was still enough space to walk around in the big room. There were two beds placed in separate corners of the room and a door to a closet in one of the corners. There was a window right in between the beds, allowing light to flow inside. The mess wasn't a big problem, just some stuff on the floor - it was easy enough for you to put away. You didn’t deep clean it, but you put away the toys where you thought they should be - a box with other toys in it put under the window. Once that was done, you explored further. You found the upstairs bathroom, where you noticed a toothbrush stand with three toothbrushes standing next to each other and one empty slot. After the bathroom, you found Mingyu's study, which you only took a glance at. This room was even messier than the girls' room. It was probably because he had left in a hurry before. Tissues were piling up in the trash, and papers were all over the dark wooden desk - as well as a few lying on the floor. The blinds were closed, leaving the room feeling closed off. You quickly left that room, not wanting to intrude any more than you already had. On your way to the staircase, you passed the upstairs bathroom and a room right in front of Mingyu's bedroom that you had somehow missed. The door was closed and even though you were curious, you decided to let it stay that way. When you got down the stairs, you found the girls still watching TV. Their attention went away from the screen as you came in to check on them.

“Are you feeling hungry?” you asked, and they both nodded. “Do you want to help me make some food?”

Making food with the girls was a fun experience. They were helpful when they were helping you find utensils or ingredients, but they still messed around a little. Whenever they had done something they shouldn’t have, like hiding the spices from you, they would let out a cute giggle. It would always give them away, but you still played along with them. After making dinner and tucking Jiu and Ari into bed, you got a plate of the leftovers and brought it up to Mingyu's room. The room was still dark, and he was still lying in bed in the same position you had left him in. Maybe he had shifted around a bit because his hair was a bit messier than before, but except for that hint, you couldn't tell. You sat down beside him and put your hand on his arm.

“I have some food for you,” you murmured. “And water.” Mingyu opened his eyes ever so slightly, shifting in the bed to bring his hands up to his face to rub the sleep out of his eyes. When he was done, he sat up, leaning his back against the headboard. 

“You’re too nice to me,” he muttered in a raspy, sleep-laced voice.

“You would’ve done the same to me.” You handed him the glass of water. “Drink.”

You put the plate of food on his bedside table while he drank. A nervous feeling started spreading in your chest, suddenly realizing the position you were in. To combat these unfamiliar emotions, you got up and started closing the blinds.

“I put the girls to bed,” you said as you worked on closing the blinds. “They weren't very happy to go to sleep when you hadn't kissed them goodnight yet.”

“They get antsy if we don't follow the routine.” He chuckled. “Could you hand me the plate?”

After picking the plate back up, you sat down next to you. Without thinking, you took the spoon to feed him, like you used to do with the stubborn kids at the kindergarten you worked at before. Mingyu looked a little shocked but accepted the spoon by opening his mouth. Only after he had taken the bite did you realize what you had done.

“Oh- I’m sorry.” You felt heat rise to your face. “I didn’t mean to be patronizing- it’s an old habit from my last job-” Mingyu’s laugh stopped your rambling. You attempted to give him the plate, but he pushed it away. He couldn't get a word out, still trying to chew through the fit of giggles. His hand was over his mouth as he looked away from you. If he were to look into your lost puppy dog's eyes, he would start laughing again.

“It’s alright,” he said eventually. “I don’t mind being pampered… especially not by you.”

Your eyebrows shot up over your forehead. Mingyu motioned for you to come a bit closer, and you shuffled a few inches closer to him. He looked expectantly at the plate and then back at you. With a slightly shaky hand, you brought another spoon of food to his mouth, which he gladly accepted. Seeing him genuinely happy over this made you a bit more comfortable. You shuffled even closer to him, sitting down in a better position to feed him. It felt strange, and you couldn't help but chuckle at his happy expressions.

“Your cooking is good,” he mumbled between bites.

“It’s just something I threw together.” You brushed off his compliment. “It’s nothing special.”

“Thank you anyway,” he said before taking the last bite. After putting away the plate on the bedside table, you went to get up, but Mingyu grabbed your hand before you could leave. He peered up at you through his eyelashes, and you could’ve melted at the sight. Gently, he pulled you back towards him, and you sat down without any resistance. He let go of your hand and put his hand on your thigh.

“I’m sorry for causing so much trouble for you today,” he said. “It’s alright,” you hummed. “I wanted to help… and cooking with the kids was nice.”

“Well, I’m happy you could enjoy yourself.” He had a look in his eyes that you couldn’t figure out, but it was warm and loving. You wanted to know what he was thinking - what he thought of you. Suddenly you started hearing giggling from behind you. When you turned around, you saw two black-haired heads peeking out from the side of the doorframe. Your body was in the way for Mingyu to see them, but his daughters were grinning widely at the sight of the two of you. Even though he couldn’t see them, Mingyu understood that they were there from your reaction and the sound of their laughter.

“Girls, it’s bedtime!” Mingyu dictated with a stern yet kind tone of voice.

“But we didn’t get to say goodnight to you,” Ari argued. The girls ran inside the room and crawled up on the bed. You were about to get up to give them space when you noticed that Mingyu's hand hadn't moved from your leg. He squeezed it gently, and when your eyes met his, it looked like he was silently asking you to stay. So you sat there with them, watching as Mingyu spoke with his daughters and apologized for not saying goodnight earlier.

“I’m a little sick, so I had to rest,” he explained to the girls. “I’m sorry I missed your bedtime.”

“Are you better now?” Jiu asked.

“Did Ms. Y/L/N make you better?” Ari added.

“He's doing a lot better than he was before,” you said as you glanced between the man in front of you and his daughters. “But my expert opinion says that he still needs a full night's rest.”

“You can't kiss it better?” Ari asked, giggling with her sister.

“Yeah, you can't kiss it better?” Mingyu asked in a mocking tone, gently squeezing your leg again. You put your hand on top of his and put it down beside you again without looking over at him. Even if he was able to be very mature most of the time, he tended to bring out his childish side from time to time. As you took his hand away from your leg, he almost looked like he regretted saying it.

“A good night's rest is all he needs, I promise you,” you assured the twins, “And you two should also go back to bed.”

After a bit of complaining, they said goodnight to their dad and scurried back to their room. You looked after them until they had closed the bedroom door behind them. Mingyu’s hand snuck back to its place on your thigh.

“I’ll go check that they’re sleeping before I leave,” you said.

“You’re leaving?” He sounded surprised. His grimace after saying it made it clear that he didn’t mean for it to come out like that.

“Mingyu, I couldn’t possibly intrude any longer-”

“You’re not intruding,” Mingyu remarked. “I have a guest room, and you can borrow some clothes from me- you can take a shower if you want to, too. Just… I don’t want you to leave all on your own this late at night.”

He seemed so determined, and how could you give up on such an offer? His hand squeezed your leg again, a kind gesture that asked you to stay. You thought back to all the time you had spent together in the cabins. It had been so long that you seemed to have forgotten that you knew him quite well for just being his children's teacher. You took his hand in yours again, looking down at it to try to distract yourself from his strong gaze.

“I’m sorry for leaving before,” you mumbled. “At the cabins… it was so wrong of me, I’m sorry.” Mingyu turned his hand to intertwine his fingers with yours. You looked at him with a shy smile. For some reason, you had thought of your second meeting as a new beginning - but you can't just erase memories with another person to start over. The fact that you ever thought that felt deranged now.

“And I’m sorry for being a mess,” you continued when Mingyu hadn’t said anything for a while. “And for acting like nothing had happened when we finally met again-”

“Y/N,” he interrupted. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t have pursued you again if I didn’t accept all that. I like you, and I know you’ve been through something horrible. I can be patient with you. I want to be someone you can lean on… even if it doesn’t seem like it right now.”

You let out a stifled laugh and looked down at your intertwined hands. It felt nice to finally let your walls down a bit like you could finally let go of some of the tension you had been holding in your shoulders. Mingyu squeezed your hand, getting your attention back on him.

“I'm not going to ask you to sleep in my bed with me because, frankly, that'd be very stupid considering that I'm sick,” he said, making you laugh again. “But I just want to make sure that you don't have to go home alone and that you're safe.”

“Okay, I’ll stay,” you hummed. “Thank you.”

After taking a shower and changing into clothes that Mingyu let you borrow, you went straight to bed. It almost felt like a hotel bed, and the cozy feeling made you fall asleep immediately.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ The next morning you woke up to your alarm ringing an hour before you had to leave the door. Hearing sounds coming from downstairs, you quickly got up and went to see what was going on. The clanging came from the kitchen. You hadn’t made a plan for what would happen in the morning, and you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if you had accidentally left the kids unattended. However, when you arrived in the kitchen, you found Mingyu making breakfast and the girls tiredly waiting at the table. The noise was coming from the stove as he was cooking something that smelled delicious.

“Why are you up? Shouldn't you still be resting?” The words tumbled out of your mouth before you could even process them.

“Good morning to you too, doctor,” Mingyu said with a raspy voice and handed you a newly brewed cup of coffee. “You'll be happy to hear that my symptoms have-”

You pressed your hand against his forehead again, interrupting whatever he was going to joke about, his fever had gone down, and he looked a lot better than the day before. Mingyu took your hand away from his forehead.

“My symptoms have died down,” he repeated. “Just a runny nose and sore throat. What do you think? Am I too sick to make breakfast?” His eyes were glimmering in the low light of the kitchen lamp, and that warm smile never left his lips. If it weren't for the fact that he was sick, you would've kissed that smile off his face.

“No…” You sighed. “I overreacted, I’m sorry-”

“You didn’t,” he assured you. “It’s nice to have someone care for me like you do.”

Mingyu's arm sneakily wrapped itself around your waist and brought you closer. He leaned his forehead against yours, still looking into your eyes. You did your best to not spill anything out of your cup, but it was getting increasingly hard since you were starting to be distracted. You peered over your shoulder, noticing that the two of you had started getting the attention of the twins.

“Could we save this for another day?” you asked and put a hand on his chest. “Maybe when we're not being watched?”

Mingyu looked up, immediately locking eyes with Ari and Jiu, who were standing on top of their chairs to see. His face twisted from worry to irritation, and you could hear more laughter coming from the table. At the sound of the bell-like giggles, Mingyu had trouble holding his scolding gaze and not replacing it with a warm smile.

“Hey! Sit down in the chairs, or you'll fall over!” Mingyu said and let go of you to bring the girls their breakfast. You watched him walk away, chuckling at his attempt to scold them. As he warned the girls of the dangers of standing up on chairs, he was placing their breakfasts in front of them and making sure that they’d start eating. Mingyu was still grumbling when he came back, but when you walked up next to him and pressed a kiss to his cheek, he quickly quieted down. He looked at you with big eyes, doing mental loops to try to figure out what he had done to deserve it.

“Thank you for the coffee,” you said. “I’m going to go get ready, but I’ll see you soon.”

“Let me drive you,” he blurted out. “I need to take my girls there anyway.”

“If you feel fine, then I don’t see why not.”

“Oh, I’m feeling more than fine.” Mingyu leaned closer to you, but you put your hand on his chest to stop him.

“I don’t want to get sick,” you teased. “Besides, I’ve already given you a kiss.”

“I need another one to get all better.” He pouted.

“All you need is one,” you responded. “Doctor’s orders!” You watched his jaw go slack, tonguing his cheek as you started walking away.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ Arriving in yesterday’s clothes, wearing whatever make-up you had with you in your bag, caused suspicion. Not only that, you had walked in just a little bit before Kim Mingyu - a hot, single dad. Many of your coworkers didn’t notice or care, but your closest coworker Joshua definitely noticed. He was what some people would call your work husband, and usually, you’d tell him everything while you were welcoming your kids in your separate classrooms.

“Did you have fun last night?” He asked.

“My night was just fine, Mr. Hong,” you responded. Most of the time, the two of you would gossip loudly with each other - but you couldn’t yell about staying over at Kim Mingyu’s house. Especially not with so many kids around - his kids included. When all of the kids were in your respective classrooms, Joshua got a little closer.

“I saw you walking in here with Mr. Kim. What’s that about?” He whispered. “And I’ve never seen you in the same clothes two days in a row, so you have to tell me everything about last night.”

“I will…” You paused to let him celebrate getting your new gossip. “... At lunch.”

“You’re no fun.” Joshua sighed, making you laugh.

At the anticipated lunch, you sat down in the teacher’s lounge with Joshua in a corner of the room. The two of you sat in mostly silence, except for a few comments about your day so far or what you were going to do later while waiting for as many people as possible to leave. When it was just a few people in the room, Joshua turned to you with an expectant look in his eyes.

“Tell me everything,” he said.

“It was nothing.” You put down your cup of coffee. “He came in sick, and I helped drive him home…” Joshua raised one of his eyebrows, silently urging you to keep talking. “And I might have stayed the night at his house…” You sighed. 

“How?” he questioned. “I mean, if that’d happen to anyone else, they wouldn’t let them stay in their house.”

“I might’ve known him since before I started this job…” You dragged out each word as if it’d help contain your secret a little longer. Your coworker stared at you with his jaw on the floor. He put away his lunch and sat back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You have a lot of things to tell me,” Joshua asserted. “

Well, you know about my ex,” you said, and he nodded. “While trying to get over him, I stayed at my aunt’s cottage in the forest.”

“Yeah, you’ve said this.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “You stayed there for two weeks and came back to get your shit together. Am I missing something?”

“I didn’t tell you about my neighbor…” As soon as you said it, Joshua’s eyes widened. “The reason I decided to ‘get my shit together’ in the first place is because of him.”

“Mr. Kim?”

“Yes. He was there for me, and we developed some kind of relationship… but then I left without giving him my number or even saying goodbye.” You looked down at your lap. “I didn’t want to get hurt again.”

“Y/N…” Joshua put his hand on the table for you to take, which you did. “I’m sorry for prying about this, and you don’t have to continue.”

“It’s okay… I actually need your advice,” you said, and he nodded. “We met again when he picked up his kids- I didn’t even know he had kids, but it’s fine now. Now we’ve been seeing each other from time to time, trying to sort of pick up where we left it.”

“Oh my god.” Joshua leaned back in his chair again, letting go of your hand in the process. “You’re living in a rom-com.”

“Stop.” You chuckled. “Anyway, I care about him… but I don’t know where to go from here.”

“So you’ve been on dates?”

“We went on a date a few weeks ago, and then we ended up meeting in the park last Sunday,” you explained.

“And you’ve…?” Your silence spoke for itself, and Joshua cheered. He’d been on your ass to get back in the dating scene since you had told him about your ex. “You just need to get laid” was a daily comment you’d receive from him. “How is he?”

“Joshua.”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! I’ll drop it.” He paused and studied your expression for a few seconds. “He’s good, isn’t he?”

“I almost forgot my own name,” you whispered with your hand covering the side of your mouth, shielding your words from any potential listeners.

“Alright, alright.” He nodded proudly. “So you guys are getting serious?”

“I think so.”

“Okay, well, I’m happy for you,” he hummed. “He seems like a nice man, someone that you can grow with.” Joshua put his elbows on the table, leaning forward slightly. His otherwise silly and easy-going expression changed into a more serious look. 

“Do his kids know?” He asked. “They’re suspecting it, but I don’t think they understand it.” You sighed. “I know, it’d be weird for them…”

“Not just them,” he reminded you. “If any of the other kids find out - let alone their parents - it could get very complicated, you know?”

“I know.”

“I’m not telling you to stop seeing him. You deserve to be happy.” He sighed. “But sadly, you have to be careful with it. You never know what might happen when others find out, and they will. More importantly, if it doesn’t work out, it can be hard on the kids.”

You took a deep breath as his words settled in your head. You hadn’t even considered what would happen if you ended up breaking up. Joshua’s words would stick with you through the rest of your much lighter conversation, and for the rest of the day, it would chafe in the back of your mind. For the rest of the week, you barely talked to Mingyu. Partly because he was busy getting over his cold and then catching up at work, but also because you were ignoring him. Sometimes you’d see his call and let it go to voicemail. You texted from time to time and let your excuse for not talking to him be the preparations for the play on Friday.

A part of you still thought that he might show up to the play, for the girls' sake, of course, even if it was naive of you to think. You didn’t even see Mingyu at pick-up. With the amount of work he had to catch up on, he didn’t have time. His parents would pick up the kids instead. Friday, the day of the play, was spent making preparations for the afternoon - when all of the parents would come to see their kids perform. It wasn't anything particularly well-made, it was made by kids, after all - but the work that the kids had put in truly made you proud. The morning of the play, you asked Jiu and Ari if they knew if their dad would come after all. They had confirmed your fears of him most likely not coming at all. Despite them putting up a brave front, you could tell it made them very disappointed. You sat down with them backstage to make sure that they were okay.

“Why don’t I act as your grown-up for today?” You suggested. “Then you’ll still have someone watching you.”

“It’s not the same,” Ari said.

“You’re a teacher. You have to watch all the kids,” Jiu added.

“I’ll tell you what.” You looked around before shuffling a little closer to them. “If you promise not to tell anyone, I’ll promise to pay extra attention to you two.”

It seemed to cheer them up. they even made you pinky-swear on it. However, you knew it wasn't as good as having their actual parent there - so you were determined to make Mingyu at least see the few last minutes. When everyone was in their costumes and had prepared for the play to start, you took your seat right by the stage. You saved a chair next to you, putting up a fake "reserved chair" sign on the seat. Before the play started, even before the parents had started coming in, you pulled out your phone and called Mingyu. As the phone was ringing, the nervous feeling in your chest started growing.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He sounded tired.

“Hi… um…” You took a deep breath. “I know that you’re busy, and the play starts in twenty minutes, but the twins… They really want you here. I tried cheering them up, but I don’t think it worked.” You heard him sigh and shuffle around. The sound of papers and other office supplies getting moved around could be heard over the phone. A door opened, and you heard mumbling.

“Cancel my next meeting, please,” Mingyu said with the phone held away from his face. “I have to go see my daughters’ play.” You heard more talking from the other person and a door closing.

“I’ll be there,” he said. “Give me fifteen minutes.”

“Thank you, honey.” The nickname just slipped out. You hardly noticed it. “I’ve saved you a seat at the front.”

“You got me front-row seats? Wow, you really know how to spoil a guy.” Mingyu naturally fell into his flirty tone. Joshua sat down beside you on the chair that you hadn’t put a piece of paper with “RESERVED” written on it. With the sudden interruption, you couldn’t bring yourself to answer with the same flirty tone. You could hear Mingyu walking into the elevator on the other side of the line.

“Just be here, Mr. Kim…” you murmured.

“Mr. Kim!?” Joshua whisper-yelled, hearing you despite your attempt to hide it. Joshua leaned in closer to try to listen in on the conversation, and no matter how far you leaned away from him, you couldn’t get away.

“Mr. Kim?” Mingyu questioned. “No more ‘honey’? Have I done something wrong?”

“I have to go…”

“Y/N.” He sighed. “I know something’s wrong. You haven’t talked to me all week.”

“It’s nothing, Mingyu,” you hummed.

“But it is,” he argued. “Listen, we’ll talk later… I’m glad you called, sweetheart.” The two of you said goodbye, and you hung up. You don’t dare look at Joshua, but you can feel his gaze burning a hole in your skin.

“He calls you sweetheart?” He whispers.

“Joshua,” you warned.

“You guys are cute…” he mumbled. “Is everything okay, though? You’re okay, right?”

“... I haven’t talked to him in a while.”

“Y/N, no…” he whined.

“You’re the one who told me to be careful!” you exclaimed.

“I told you to be careful, not to ignore the poor guy!”

“Keep it down!” You hissed. You knew that if people found out that you used to sleep with one of the parents of the children you educated, suspicions of special treatment would arise even if they had no real claim.

“Seriously, Y/N. You should go for it with him. He seems good for you,” Joshua said. The parents started coming in before you could say something in response. His words stuck with you yet again, and you were struck with the realization that you had been a paranoid jerk. Your eyes were completely focused on the door, smiling at the occasional parent you would make eye contact with, but your main goal was to see Mingyu walking through that door. All the parents had settled down and were talking amongst themselves.

Fifteen minutes felt like hours, and you were still impatiently looking back to the door now and then. The lights dimmed. Mingyu still wasn't there. A teacher came out on stage to present the play. Mingyu still wasn't there. The parents clapped after the teacher's short speech, and as he walked off the stage and the music started, Mingyu came through the door. You happily waved to him, and he sprinted toward his seat just as Ari and Jiu walked out on stage. He gave them two thumbs up and a supportive smile before sitting down. 

“Thank you,” Mingyu whispered in your ear. You wanted to thank him, too, for coming despite all the trouble, but the kids had already started speaking.

At the end of the play, you stand by the door and watch all of the families walk out - praising the kids and thanking the parents for coming. Mingyu is still in his seat, happily talking to Jiu and Ari. You glance over at him from time to time, a big clump of worry stuck in your throat. You had ignored him for days. Would he still want to stick around? All you wanted to do was wrap your arms around him and tell him how much you cared for him, but you couldn’t. As the last family left, Mingyu started walking towards you. Joshua, who was standing on the other side of the door, gave you a thumbs-up before leaving. Mingyu walks up to you, his face somewhat colder than it usually is.

“We have to talk later.”

“I know.”

“I’m dropping the kids off at their grandparents’ house,” he said. “Could we meet up after?” “Sure. You can come by my apartment whenever you have time.” You clasped your sweaty hands together behind your back.

“I’ll text you,” he hummed. The small family walked away, the twins happily saying goodbye to you before running to the parking lot - blissfully unaware of the strangling feeling of guilt in you.

After pacing around your apartment for at least ten minutes, you got a text from Mingyu saying that he was on his way. Your heart was beating fast in your chest. In less than an hour, this could all be over. Taking a deep breath, you tried to calm down your racing heart. Every moment of your time with Mingyu flashed before your eyes. He could irritate you and make you worry, but in the end, you were the happiest you had ever been when you were with him. Even in the beginning of your relationship with Wonwoo, you hadn’t felt this way. If fate existed, this was it. You loved him, and you had realized it far too late. What anyone else thought didn’t matter. You wanted to be with him. A deep blue wave washed over you, your entire body going slack as you took another deep breath - this time, it reached into the deepest corners of your lungs. You felt refreshed as if simply admitting to yourself that you truly did love him had made you a new person. You loved him, you loved him, you loved him… the words echoed in your mind. Nothing had ever been so clear to you.

When your doorbell buzzed, Mingyu’s voice sounded over the intercom, asking if you could let him in, and you did so without hesitation. The few minutes it took for him to finally come upstairs were hell for you. You were waiting right by the door, expecting his knock at any moment now. His knuckles only met the wooden door once before you ripped the door open. Meeting his shocked gaze brought back the clump in your throat. He looked tired - hurt even. You had done this to him, and you’d do anything to fix it.

“Come in.” You stepped to the side and let him inside.

Mingyu walked inside, took off his shoes, and followed you into the kitchen. You were quiet and in desperate need to distract yourself with something. Looking back at him in the bright kitchen light, you could see the bags under his eyes more clearly now.

“Do you want coffee?” you asked.

“I just want you,” he rasped.

His arms hung by his side, his entire body standing completely still. You looked down at your feet, trying to stop yourself from crying - and if you couldn’t, you at least wanted to make sure that he didn’t see you cry.

“Are you sure?” you questioned. “I’ve been… I haven’t been very good to you, Mingyu.” Mingyu took a step forward, now standing right in front of you. One of his hands grabbed yours while the other lifted your chin to make you look at him.

“I’m sure.”

“What if I’m not good enough for you?”

“You’re more than enough for me,” he assured you. “I just… adore you. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” You brought your hand up to his cheek, cupping it in your palm and letting your thumb run over his cheekbone. Bringing your other hand to the back of his head, you pull him in closer for a kiss. As your lips met, Mingyu put his arm around your waist to pull you closer to his body. Fireworks exploded in your stomach as if it were the first time all over again. The kiss didn’t last long, your lips parting with a soft sigh rolling off your tongue. Your eyes stayed closed for a moment, still feeling the ghost of Mingyu’s plush lips against your own. When your eyes opened, you saw Mingyu looking right back at you.

“Please, never scare me like that again.” He leaned his forehead against yours. “When you stopped calling, I thought I had done something to upset you.”

“No, not at all,” you murmured. “I was… scared. I wasn’t sure of what to do next. You and I were doing well, but… what about your kids? If this ends, what will happen to them?”

“This won’t end.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.” Mingyu put his hand over yours, which was still holding his face, and turned his head slightly to press a kiss to your palm. 

“I’m in love with you,” he mumbled against your skin before turning back to look at you. “I haven’t felt like this in a very long time. I’ve been on many dates since my wife died, trying to pick up the pieces, but it always felt like something was missing. When I met you for the first time, I felt like you were the missing piece… and when I found you again, it felt like fate had given me a second chance. So, I don’t care about what your coworkers think when they see us walking the kids to school together. I don’t care what other parents would whisper about if they saw me kissing the teacher before the parent-teacher meeting. And I definitely don’t care about who you used to be with - even if we go to the same meetings.”

You let out a soft chuckle at his words, your hands falling to his shoulders. Even if he was joking, his words comforted you - so did his gentle hands on your waist. Your shoulders relaxed, and no more tears were threatening to spill onto your cheeks. 

“Are we clear?” He asked.

“Yes.” You nodded, giving him a big smile.

“Good.” He pulled you in a little closer. “... can I kiss you again?”

“Please do.” Your whisper was almost inaudible. You barely got the words out before his lips were on yours again. The warmth from his hands on your waist burned through your clothes, leaving your skin tingling. His hands moved slowly around your body as if he desperately needed it to last as long as it could. Your chest was pressed against his now, your arms lying on his shoulders and your hands in his hair. His long, romantic kiss turned into short, sweet pecks along the corner of your mouth and down to your jaw.

“Gyu-” You tried to interrupt him, but it was useless.

Mingyu continued his attack on the rest of your face, giddily kissing whatever surface of your face he could reach. Laughter, like silver bells, echoed in your small kitchen, a place that’s been previously filled with anxious mumbles about the man who was now in front of you. He paused, looking into your eyes, giving you a smile that you recognized easily as his mischievous and flirty grin. He bent down slightly, gripping the backs of your thighs as he muttered, “Jump”. You did as he said, wrapping your legs around him as he lifted you up - you put your head in the crook of his neck. Without worrying about it, you let him carry you over to wherever he wanted to take you. The woody scent of his cologne was intoxicating, and you tried to bury your nose deeper into the soft skin of his neck - Mingyu let out a chuckle at the tickling feeling.

“I’ve been thinking about getting you all to myself ever since I made you breakfast last Monday,” he admitted.

“You have me now,” you murmured.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You lifted up your head from his neck, pressing a soft kiss on his lips. “Bedroom?”

Mingyu grinned, taking long steps toward your bedroom door. Before you knew it, he had thrown you on the bed - crawling over to you to finish what he had started. The two of you had been there for what felt like hours. Mingyu’s movements were soft and slow, thrusting in and out of your dripping pussy. You were delirious, wanton moans escaping your lips every other second. Mingyu’s mouth was latched onto your chest, sucking dark marks on your skin. His body was pressed against yours, your legs wrapped around his waist, keeping him there.

“I’ve missed this…” Mingyu groaned. “I’ve missed you.”

“Gyu…” you whimpered. “Please, just a little faster.” For all this time, Mingyu had kept the pace slow - his excuse was that he needed to take his time with you, which you accepted… for a while. Now, you were suffering - simultaneously overstimulated and not stimulated enough.

“Why won’t you let me take my time?” He pouted.

“I have,” you answered. “I need to cum, Gyu, please- I want you to cum inside me.” Mingyu swore under his breath, his hips stuttering at your words. When he was distracted, you managed to flip the two of you over. Being on top gave you control of the pace, and, despite your burning thighs, you immediately started bouncing on his cock.

“Sweetheart-” He gasped. While the pace had been kept slow earlier, the overstimulation made you sensitive enough to feel your orgasm approaching already from the sudden change of pace. Mingyu felt the same, evident by his stuttering hips and loud whines.

“Cum inside me, Gyu,” you urged him again.

“You’re going to be the death of me…” Mingyu soughed. Mingyu grabbed your hips to thrust up into you. Your head lulled to the side, your limbs growing limp, as a wave of pleasure spread from your core to the rest of your body. His hands gripped your sides harshly, bruising the skin, and kept you pressed against his pelvis as he came inside you. You could hear him say something, but you were lost in your paradise. As you were about to slump over him, Mingyu handled you carefully to lay down on his chest - putting his hands on your back and rubbing patterns into your skin.

“Are you feeling okay, sweetheart?” he whispered in your ear, and you hummed in response. “Do you want me to draw you a bath?”

“No, it’s okay,” you murmured. “Just stay here with me.”

“We should clean up,” he said, and you whined at the thought of having to move. “I’m serious. And you should go to the bathroom.”

“Stop being so responsible…” you groaned.

“Can’t help it.” He sat up, bringing you with him. “I like taking care of you.” Mingyu stood up with much effort, making sure that your legs were wrapped around his waist. He carried you over to the bathroom, despite your constant whining. After cleaning himself up, he left you to your privacy - but not long after, you walked out of the bathroom again to go back to bed. Mingyu was already there, waiting for you under the covers. He pulled the covers to the side, making it easier for you to get in. As he wrapped the covers around you, you snuggled up against his chest. His skin against yours felt like heaven, and you got as close to him as you possibly could.

“Gyu?” You murmured.

“Yes, darling?” He answered with a playful tone.

“Thank you.” Your words floated in the air. Mingyu stayed quiet but wrapped his arms around you a little tighter. He pressed a kiss on the top of your head, his lips lingering there. Your hands went to his back, feeling his muscles under your fingertips - smooth skin, but you could feel knots there, probably caused by stress. You could picture yourself helping him massage out those knots, him laying with his stomach on his bed, you straddling him and gently moving your hands over his back. The fact that you could picture flashes of your future together felt promising. You felt safe in these daydreams.

“For staying,” you added.

“I know,” Mingyu murmured against the top of your head.

“Promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“That if I ever start doubting us again,” you said, “you'll tell me off like you did today.” Mingyu’s chest rumbled with a laugh, and you broke out in a small chuckle at his response. 

“I promise,” he said. “Is the sex afterwards included?” You hit his chest with your palm, just lightly, and hid your flustered face against him. Mingyu only kept laughing, clearly enjoying your embarrassed state.

“Shut up,” you muttered.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ A year later, you’re teaching your last class of the day when the bell rings. The students pack up their things as you remind them of next week’s homework. Soon enough, you’ve picked up your things and are walking down the hallway to Mr. Hong’s classroom. The doors opened, and the many kids ran past you to get out to the courtyard where they could meet their caretakers - Fridays were always hectic. You spotted Joshua in the classroom, and he gave you a smile and a wave.

“Are they here?” you asked as you walked inside.

“We’re here!” the twins shout happily. “They did exceptionally well today!” Joshua praised. “Ari’s figured out multiplications, and Jiu’s reading gets better every day.”

“I’m glad to see the two of you working so hard, even when you’re not in my class anymore!” you told the girls before turning back to Joshua. “I hope you have a good weekend, Mr. Hong.”

“Mhm, have fun playing newlyweds with your man,” he teased and went back to a few papers on his desk.

“We’re not even…” You sighed and turned your attention to the girls. “Ready to go home? Pick up your things, let’s go meet your dad!”

Jiu and Ari were running ahead of you as soon as they saw their dad. Mingyu was standing by the gate, talking to another parent who was also picking up their kid. You recognized them from your parent-teacher meeting last year. As soon as Mingyu heard the happy shouts of his daughters, he excused himself from the other parent and crouched down with open arms. The girls ran into his arms, almost making him stumble back in the process. You caught up to them just a few seconds later, giving the other parent a nod before they walked away to their kid.

“How are my princesses doing?” Mingyu asked and kissed their foreheads.

“Good! I finished another book!” Jiu grinned.

“And Mr. Hong said I was good at multiplication!” Ari added.

He congratulated them both before standing up to take a look at you. His smile widened, and he opened his arms for a second time. You walked into his embrace, giving him a short hug. However, as you tried to pull away, he held you a little bit tighter.

“Mingyu, people are staring,” you whispered.

“Let them,” he whispered back. “I’ve missed you, sweetheart.” You finally managed to pull away, but Mingyu’s hands lingered on your waist - you let them stay there, knowing that he would only start pouting if you tried pulling them off.

“You saw me this morning,” you reminded him.

“For way too short of a time,” he added.

“Darling, you almost made us late.”

“Details…” Mingyu scoffed and turned his head away from you. When he glanced at you through the corner of his eyes, he got to see your bright smile. Proud of his achievement, he grinned as he turned his face toward you again. Before you could tell him to go get the girls’ names crossed off the list, he stole a kiss from you.

“Gyu-”

“Go tell the teacher that I’ve picked the girls up, I know.” His smile was contagious. “Just needed to tell you that you look beautiful today, Mrs. Kim.”

“I’m not Mrs. Kim yet,” you remind him.

“You’ve been Mrs. Kim in my mind for a while now, sweetheart,” he argued. “Besides, you’re about to put the last of your furniture in our house, and my kids call you mom. The papers are nothing but a formality at this point.”

“Fair enough,” you murmured. He took your left hand in his, his thumb grazing over the ring on your ring finger. His hand lingered on yours as he walked to get the pick-up finalized, only letting go when his arms couldn’t stretch any further. The girls followed after him as he walked up to the teacher with the name list, standing in the middle of the courtyard. As soon as it was done, Mingyu grabbed the girls’ hands and led them back to you.

“Ready to go home?” he asked, unaware of the fact that you were already home as soon as you had seen him. You nodded, taking the lead toward the gate. Mingyu was still holding the girls’ hands, so you opened the gate for them and watched them walk out. A few kids said goodbye to you, and you took some time to wish them a good weekend. When you turned back to your small family, they had already gotten to the car. He had parked close to the school, so it wasn’t very far, and you quickly jogged up to them. Mingyu had managed to get the girls into the car seats by himself, closing the car doors just as you arrived.

“You’re always so busy,” Mingyu joked.

“Says you,” you countered and went to fix his crooked tie. “You took the weekend off, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He grinned. “Ready to serve.”

“It’s just invitations, Gyu.”

“You say that now…” Mingyu opened the car door for you, putting his hand on the edge of the entrance to make sure you didn’t hit your head. When you had sat down, he carefully closed the door behind you and walked around to the other side of the car. 

“You’re the one who agreed to help me,” you argued.

“And I won’t complain,” Mingyu said as he sat down in the driver’s seat. “Promise.”

You looked over at him as he buckled his seatbelt. His tedious behavior was enough to make you frown at him. Mingyu looked at you as he started the car. He gave you a charming smile - a classic Kim Mingyu distraction. It worked, as it always did. You sighed and turned back to the girls.

“Are you two okay back there?” you asked, and the two of them nodded before going back to their whispering. As Mingyu backed out of the parking space, you turned to sit normally in your seat. Mingyu put his hand on your leg as soon as the car was on the road. The warmth from his palm radiated through your clothes. You put your hand on top of his.

“I don’t think making invitations will be very fun,” he said, “but I’ll enjoy spending time with you.”

“Just don’t try to distract me,” you warned as you intertwined your fingers with his.

“No promises.” He looked over at you with a mischievous spark in his eyes. You scoffed and looked out the window. Your hand was still holding his - he brought the back of your hand to his lips, leaving a chaste kiss there. A smile crept up on your lips as Mingyu put your hand back down. 

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I love you too.”

[cevansbrat0007]

What's Eating You, Mr. Barber?

Summary: You decide to test your man's patience with a prank you saw on TikTok. CLICK HERE to check out Ari Levinson's reaction to the same prompt.

Warnings: Mature Themes, References to Smut, Andrew Barber Being A Menace, Brat!Reader, TikTok Hijinks, Bickering, Manhandling, Ass Slapping, Daddy Kink, Allusions to Oral Sex, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: Prompt brought to you courtesy of a Reader Request. This fic features Andrew Barber from my Growing Pains Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

It’s hard for you to put into words just how much you love playing pranks on your unsuspecting husband. And after downloading TikTok, you’d discovered that the app was home to an online treasure trove of practical jokes designed to make your loved one’s head spin. While it had taken a few days for you to settle on the right prank, you were pretty confident that the one you’d chosen would earn you a fun reaction from Andy without you having to risk your ass in the process. 

You find yourself grinning as you take your time prepping dinner, humming a little tune as you peel and press even more fresh garlic for your homemade tomato sauce. Tonight’s family dinner of spaghetti and meatballs promised to be very interesting. Which was why you’d also taken the liberty of setting up two hidden cameras – one in the dining room and one right here in your kitchen. 

As of now, you had no plans to post this on your channel. But you also didn’t want to miss a minute of your man’s reaction. Until then all you had to do was play it cool for a couple more hours.

Later that Evening…

“Baby Girl, are you sure you don’t need any help?” Your husband asks after watching you make what easily had to be your third trip from the kitchen into the dining room. 

Any other night you would’ve said yes, but not this one. Tonight you were flying solo. The cameras were already on and recording – you’d taken care of that before you’d started setting the table – and so far Andy hadn’t noticed a thing.

Hopefully you’d be able to keep it that way until it was time for the big reveal. 

“No thanks, Big Man. This Mama only has to make one more trip and then we’ll be ready to eat.”  You tell him before sitting two plates on the table in front of your two youngest children. You were down a kid tonight thanks to your oldest, Bianca, being away at a sleepover.  

Andy nods before leaning over to adjust the small hand towel you’d previously tucked into the front of your three-year-old son’s t-shirt. Not that it really mattered all that much since you were positive he’d be swimming in sauce before the meal was over. But what kind of mother would you be if you didn’t at least try?

Biting your lip in anticipation, you scamper back into the kitchen to grab dinner for you and your husband. Andy’s plate was piled high with a generous serving of spaghetti and meatballs. Meanwhile, you give yourself hardly any. 

And therein was the so-called prank. Earlier this week, you’d spent the better part of several hours gleefully watching as dozens of girlfriends and wives proceeded to serve their man impressive looking portions before sitting next to them with virtually empty plates for themselves. Many of the reactions had ranged from hilarious to heartwarming, with only a few dickish exceptions. 

Glancing over your shoulder to ensure you weren’t being watched, you pick up various pans and quietly place them in your oven and out of sight. For this to actually work, Andy would have to believe that there wasn’t enough for seconds or leftovers. Once that’s done, you square your shoulders and confidently march back into the dining room with dishes in hand. 

“I’m back.” You announce, placing a piping hot plate in front of Andy before taking your own seat at the table. “I tried something different with my sauce this time, so everybody dig in and tell me what you think.” 

Andy absentmindedly rubs his palms together as he stares down at the fragrant heap of spaghetti before him. Silently, you will him to look over at what you’d served yourself, but you force yourself to remain quiet so as not to give yourself away. 

“This smells amazing, sweetheart.” Your husband tells you, reaching for a piece of garlic bread. “I’ve been excited for this meal since you told me you texted me at 10:00am.”

“Glad to hear it, Daddy” You pick up the little bowl of parmesan you’d set out and hand it to your middle daughter, Katrina. “What does everybody else think?”

You take a brief glance around the table while you wait for feedback. And although you make a point of not looking at your husband, it’s impossible to miss the way he’s now staring at your nearly empty plate.

“Ooh.” You inwardly squeal, stopping just short of clapping your hands. “It’s starting!” 

“What’s up with this?” His tone is rife with confusion, which only grows when you decide to ignore him in favor of dipping a small piece of bread into some sauce. “Hey – stop!”

“What?” When you finally deign to return his gaze. You have to choke back a laugh as you watch a bewildered Andy comically gesture between your two plates.

“What the fu–fudge,” he swiftly corrects, “is going on with your plate?”

“What do you mean?” You aim to keep your tone light and breezy.

Your husband lets out a frustrated sigh. “Where’s the rest of your food?” He jabs at your plate with his fork, holding up the half of a meatball you’d allowed yourself.

“This was all that was left.” You tell him with a shrug.

“What the hell are you talking about?” His confusion continues to mount even as pauses long enough to grab a napkin to wipe at his son’s increasingly messy fingers. “There was plenty of spaghetti left on the stove.” While he’s occupied you quickly check on little Rory, who appears to be faring slightly better.

“Not really.” 

“Baby…” Andy pins you with a knowing look, one that you readily return.

“What? I…” You trail off, pretending to think. “After I realized BiBi wouldn’t be here tonight, I made some adjustments to the recipe. Turns out I didn’t make enough, so…” Another shrug. “This was all there was after I made everyone else’s plates.” 

Andy is uncharacteristically quiet as leans back in his chair. Meanwhile, your children are busy staring at you, each of them sporting tiny, furrowed brows. Pursing your lips, you set your fork down on your plate and reach for your drink. 

“You can have some of mine, Mama.” KitCat offers before sweetly pushing her plate towards you. The unexpected gesture touches your heart in more ways than one. Not to be outdone, your three-year-old twins also follow suit. 

“That’s okay, babies. I’m perfectly fine.” You reassure them, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Besides, this is all I need and –”

“Thanks kiddos.” Your husband kindly interrupts as he places his napkin on the table. “That was very sweet of you, wanting to take care of your Mama like that.” His brilliant blue eyes beam with pride as he speaks. “But Daddy’s got this one.” 

You’re momentarily taken aback when he stands, picking up his plate as he does. And you’re even more surprised when he motions for you to do the same.

“Can I see you in the kitchen for a moment?”

“Andrew, sweetheart, it’s okay. I promise.”

“Now, please.” It’s an order, that much you know. But at least your handsome ogre has enough sense to take on the word “please” at the end of it.      

“Fine.” You huff before standing and following him out of the room, although not before encouraging your children to keep eating while you’re gone. Just because it was Friday doesn’t mean it was time to dispense their normal bedtime routines.

You were only playing a prank, not embracing total anarchy. 

Once in the kitchen, you each take up residence in opposing corners. But of course, you’re careful enough to avoid blocking the view of the camera. 

“Baby Girl.” Andy exhales, his fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Do you really mean to tell me that there’s no food left? You really made all that pasta and there’s nothing?”

“Yes, Andrew.” You lie without missing a beat. “I already told you. I trimmed down the recipe because –”

“Because Bianca is gone. Yes, I heard you.” He sets his dish down on the counter, openly scrutinizing it. 

“So then what’s the problem?” You rest your back against your pantry while you wait for him to respond. 

“The problem – my problem –” Andy is quick to amend, shaking his head. “– is that you expect me to sit back and watch you starve while everyone else eats. And I don’t like it.” He scrubs a weary hand over his beard. “Hand me your plate, beautiful.”

“Why?” It’s impossible to keep the suspicion out of your voice. 

“Because I don’t need all of this.” He grunts, taking the plate out of your hands when you don’t comply fast enough. “In fact, I don’t need any of it. You eat and I’ll order myself a pizza after we put the kids down.”

“Andy!” You scoff, which comes out on the heels of a laugh. 

“What?” The man is clearly confused by your dismissal of his offer. “I am capable of handling myself, okay? My hands work just fine.” He grates out, making a show of holding up a large, lightly calloused palm.

“But I…I made that plate for you.” You were seconds away from caving and you both knew it. 

“And I’m telling you, my wonderful wife, that I want you to have it.”

“Oh, you really don’t have to –” You begin, wrapping your arms around yourself. It was time to fess up.

“Fine.” Andy breathes, taking a second to roll his broad shoulders. “Then we’ll split it.” He reaches for your hand, pulling you into his warm embrace so that he can whisper in your ear. “And then, after we put the kids down, we’ll order ourselves a pizza. Maybe open up a bottle of wine while we wait.”

“Yeah?” You murmur, relaxing as you bury your face in his chest. 

God, he always smelled so good.  

“Mhm.” He continues, nuzzling his nose against your curls. “And then, once we’re all giggly and buzzed, I’ll convince you to let me make love to you in front of the fireplace. We can even set up a booby trap so that we pretend like the children don’t exist.”

“Wow.” You can’t stop the giggle that bubbles its way past your lps. “Andy Bear, that sounds amazing. But I’m afraid I can’t.”

“Why the fuck not?” He rumbles as his brawny arms tighten around your smaller frame. You were pushing your District Attorney beyond his breaking point.

“Because.” Squirming out of his hold, you dance your way towards the oven in preparation for the big reveal. Hopefully your husband would be a good sport about all of this.

“Because?” 

“Because…” You draw out the word, even as you go to open the oven to show him what’s inside. “There’s actually plenty of dinner leftover. See?” You throw your arms wide, but force yourself to stop just short of adding spirit fingers because you suspected he wouldn’t appreciate it.

“Baby, I swear…” Andy sighs, his hands slowly sinking into the pockets of his charcoal-colored slacks as he rocks back on his heels. Most likely to keep himself from strangling you, his lovely wife. “Why–what would possess you to lie about something like this?”

“First off, sweetheart, it’s called a prank.” You bridge the gap between your bodies so that you can wrap your arms around his trim waist. “And secondly, I saw it on TikTok. Ever heard of it?” 

He glares down at you, which has you instinctively clenching your thighs together. That’s part of the reason you loved riling up your Big Man.

Being a brat got your motor running. 

“I take it you have.” You stand on your tiptoes to kiss away his frown. “Well, I fell down the rabbit hole the other day while the kids were napping. There’s this whole, like, subsection that’s just pranks. And the latest one involved these women pranking their guys by serving them a huge plate of food, and then pretending like there’s nothing left for them to eat. The reactions were super entertaining, so I figured I’d test it out, you know? Just for fun.”

You grace him with your most dazzling smile, but unfortunately, he’s still having none of it. His frown only deepens as he tilts his face up towards the ceiling in an effort to summon all of his remaining patience. 

“Are you mad?” Your teeth sink into your bottom lip while you wait for his answer.

“Yep.”

“C’mon, Andy Bear!” You pout before placing your hands on his biceps to give him a light shake.”Where’s your sense of humor?”

“Pretty sure I lost it the day you decided torturing me was your new favorite pastime.” He grumbles, although there doesn’t appear to be any heat in his words. “In fact, I have a feeling you just gave me several new grays.”

“Oh, don’t you dare blame me for those.” You tell him, playfully rolling your eyes at his dramatics. “I’ll have you know that you came home with those. I spotted ‘em the moment you walked through the door.” Your sassy response earns you a sharp crack to your ass, making you wince.

“Ow!” 

“Brat.” He grouses, even as he presses a sweet kiss to your nose. 

“Guilty as charged.” You hum, weaving your arms around his neck. “Besides, I had a feeling you wouldn’t let me starve.”

“Not sure it’s even possible to fail that challenge, Baby Girl. I mean, you’re my wife. My partner in crime. Did you really expect me to just let you go hungry?”

“You’d be surprised.” You mutter, making a mental note to show him a few videos featuring some of the men who’d actually failed the test. “But thankfully you didn’t. And neither did the kiddos. Which is why I will graciously allow you all to sleep inside tonight.”

You let out a tiny yelp when Andy suddenly grabs your ass with both hands, squeezing hard as he lifts you up. Unsure of what else to do, you immediately lock your legs around his waist. Right now you were just going along for the ride.  

“Now is that any way to talk to Daddy?” Andy lovingly captures your mouth, lightly stroking his along the seam of your lips. “Especially after you played such a mean trick?” His once clouded blue eyes are now filled with mischief. 

“Oh, I’m not sorry. But if it helps, I am willing to delete the video.” Your husband’s eyes go wide, letting you know that he hadn’t even considered the prospect of being recorded. So you keep talking, hoping to distract him. “And I still wanna get you drunk and take advantage of you after we put the children down for the night.” You run your fingers through his neatly coiffed hair, lightly scratching at his scalp with your nail.

“I don’t know if I should trust you.” He eyes you warily, making clear that he still hasn’t quite recovered from your earlier betrayal. 

“What if…” You lean in close, lightly nipping at his earlobe. “I could find it in my heart to apologize between then and now? How does that sound, Big Man?”

“I mean I might be interested.” Andy shrugs, gently setting you on the counter before bracing his muscled arms on either side of you. “Out of curiosity, just what kind of apology are we talking about?” He gazes at you with lust-filled eyes, eagerly anticipating your response.

“The kind that’s best offered while on my knees, wearing nothing but a flimsy pair of thigh highs and garters.” You know you’ve got him when you hear him groan low in his throat.  

“Fucky, baby.” Your husband hisses, burying his face in the valley between your breasts as his imagination suddenly kicks into overdrive. “Can you be sorry enough to wear the heels too? You know the ones I’m talking about.”

Oh. You knew exactly which ones he was talking about.

“I think so.” You murmur, stroking a tender hand along his back as he struggles to regain his composure.   

“Then we’ve got ourselves a deal.” He grips your hips before kindly helping you down. “Now let’s go get those kids fed and off to bed.” Andy grabs your hand, tugging you behind him as you head back to the dining room to see about your babies. 

“Slow down, Andrew.” You laugh as your legs scramble to keep up. 

“No can do, Baby Girl.” He grunts, picking up his pace. “Daddy’s really looking forward to that apology. So be sure to eat up because…” He trails off when he comes face-to-face with his sauce covered little ones. “...You’re gonna need all of your strength.”

“You can count on it.”

END

[andythelemon]

Children of the Whales for our shojo poster anthology! This series is so whimsical, happy I had an excuse to draw it again. 🐋✨

You can get leftover books/PDFs here.

[saetoshi]

corazón de melón.

tldr; the one time you have a proper conversation with itoshi sae ends up unleashing a series of events you never imagined could’ve happened.

wc. 10.2k

¿?: roommates to lovers, college!au, idiots in love, this is pure domesticity tbh, fluff, lowk word vomit, ooc-ish sae (he’s a silly lil guy sometimes this is the hill i’ll die on), slow burn ig ??, swearing, someone’s mean to you (not sae), not proofread (no surprise)

a/n: i have so many emotions in my heart for sae, SOMEONE SEDATE ME PLEASE FREE ME FROM HIM I CANT LIVE NORMALLY ANYMORE, turned rue into a sae liker for this so real of me, @rintosei, enjoy ur meal my children this is probably the longest thing i’ll write in a hot minute

when others think of itoshi sae, many words come to mind: genius, talented, jerk, asshole, rude, mean, scary, lashes, pretty—the list goes on. 

you have no particular thoughts about sae. all he is to you is your roommate. you’d like to have an opinion of him, but that seems impossible with the way you can count the number of times you’ve spoken to him with one hand.

though, if you had to be honest, the only common thread in the few interactions you’ve had is that he very clearly does not care for your company—or anyone’s company, for that matter. 

not that you blame him. if you had to deal with having to go to practice after a day of classes, you wouldn’t want to interact with anyone else, either. (you’d also not have the energy to do anything.)

it’s why you’re used to hearing him get back to the apartment while you’re eating dinner; why you started leaving some leftovers for him to eat whenever he wants to.

it’s also why you’re surprised when he comes back from practice earlier than usual. you jump when you hear the front door open, placing your hand over your heart.

your turn to the door, eyes widening slightly when you see sae walk in. you don’t greet him—you never do—you don’t think he’d appreciate it. (he never greets you either, so you assumed it was fine.)

so, you turn your attention back to the tv, reaching out to grab the broom. you quickly start sweeping, humming a tune while the noise of whatever drama is playing in the background fills the apartment. 

you barely register that sae’s door doesn’t open, but the thought quickly leaves your mind when something dramatic happens to one of the leads. 

you take a step back, an unceremonious yelp leaving your lips when your back bumps into something. a second passes by before you slowly tilt your head back.  

your eyes are met with a pair of teal ones. a sheepish smile tugs at your lips, “hi?” 

he raises a brow, “what are you doing?”

“cleaning.” you move the broom from side to side in hopes to draw his attention to it. (he barely glances at it before his eyes snap back to yours.)

you take a step forward, moving to face him. he just stares at you. an awkward silence settles between the two of you.

“you’re back early.” you hope he didn’t hear your voice crack.

he blinks, clearly uninterested. “practice ended early.” 

you hum, nervously bouncing on the balls of your feet. you huff, tapping your fingers against the broom. “i see.”

it’s clear both of you feel uncomfortable. still, neither of you makes a move to leave. you’re more surprised sae’s still standing in front of you. (sae’s mildly intrigued you’re attempting to talk to him.)

you open your mouth to speak, but promptly shut it close. you repeat the action two more times before sae interrupts you, “what?”

your eyes drift away from his. you gnaw on your bottom lip. “it’s nothing.”

he glares at you. “just spit it out.”

your eyes widen, snapping back to look at him as you dismissively wave your hand. “it’s really nothing, you can just leave!”

“you clearly have something you want to say to me,” he deadpans, “so i suggest you get it over with so we can put an end to this lukewarm conversation.”

you take a deep breath, wiping one hand against your shirt, gently swaying the broom with the other. “i was just wondering, y’know since you’re back early–”

“hurry up.”

“do you wanna eat together?” you look at the ground, feet shuffling uncomfortably. the silence feels unbearable. 

“that’s it?” the confusion in his voice confuses you. you lift your eyes to stare at him, confusion etched in your face.

your head tilts to the side in confusion, “what do you mean ‘that’s it’?” 

“you wanna eat with me?” he points at himself. his brows knit when you nod. sae owlishly blinks, 

“okay.”

his eyes widen in confusion when he sees an elated smile bloom on your lips. 

“i won’t start cooking yet, since i at least have to finish sweeping,” you hum, “but if you’re hungry you could get started on something and i’ll join you when i’m done.”

“i can’t cook.” sae awkwardly coughs. he shoves his hands into his pockets, looking away from you, a soft flush spreading through his cheeks.

“oh,” you blink, smiling at him. “that’s fine! i can cook something while you clean instead.”

the blush on his cheeks deepens as his brows furrow.  “i don’t know how to clean.”

your smile tightens, eyes squinting as you inch closer to him.

there’s a beat of silence. “what can you do then?”

“play football.” you wait a few seconds for him to say something else. 

“that’s it?”

“yeah.” he says it as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. (as if it was the only thing that mattered.)

you rub your forehead, a dry laugh escaping your lips. 

if you were to tell others of this discovery you’re sure they wouldn’t believe you. you’re not even sure you believe him, yourself.

at least you didn’t, until he took the broom from your grasp. you have to bite back your laughter when he can’t even hold it properly. you wonder how he’d manage to survive alone.

itoshi sae is basically useless outside of football, you conclude. (and you’re not sure if this is the opinion you want to have about your roommate.)

it’s been a week since you learned about sae’s lack of ability to do seemingly anything other than kick a ball around.

it’s also been a week since he started coming back from practice earlier. you have mixed feelings about it. on one hand, you find it strangely comforting knowing you’re not alone in the apartment. on the other, sae just stares at you while you clean.

you’re sick of feeling his eyes follow you around. it feels like a predator watching its prey. having his eyes trail you makes you feel judged, and you’ve had enough.

so, you tighten your grip around the mop in your hands, turning around to look at sae. you take a deep breath, “why are you staring at me?”

he blinks, propping an arm on a couch cushion and leaning his head into his palm. “i’m trying to learn.”

confusion paints itself all over your face, “learn what?” 

“learn to clean.” you hate when he says things like they’re the most obvious thing ever. it makes you feel as if he expects you to know what goes on in his head.

“by staring at me?” you raise a brow. 

he simply shrugs, “i’m a visual learner.”

you don’t know if you believe him. 

so, you place one of your hands on your hips, tilting the mop back and forth with the other one. “in that case, you should try cleaning today.”

his eyes widen, mouth curling into a fine line. “i don’t think i’m ready for that.”

you take a step closer to him, holding the mop out to him. “well, i think that after a week of watching me you should start practicing what you’ve learned.”

“don’t ever think again.” he frowns.

“oh, please,” you roll your eyes, “don’t tell me the itoshi sae is afraid of a little mopping.”

that makes him get up. you bite back the satisfied smile threatening to creep up your face when he snatches the mop from your hands.

“i’m just supposed to move this side to side, right?” he stiffly holds the mop, looking at you with a raised brow.

“‘m not gonna help you out,” you make your way to the couch, mimicking his earlier position. “if you’ve been learning from staring at me for a week then you should know what to do.”

“i know what to do.” he rolls his eyes, “i just don’t know how to do it.”

“figure it out, then.” you lean forward against the palm of your hand, trying to hide your smile behind your fingers.

he glares at you and scoffs, redirecting his attention to the object in his hands. you fail to stifle your laughter when he moves the mop in a sweeping motion.

“don’t laugh!” his grip tightens around the mop, heat rushing to his ears. 

you bite your tongue, the ghost of a smile still lingering on your lips, “i’m not.”

he tsks, slightly pouting. he walks towards you, dragging the mop behind him. you look up at him, you eyes flutter closed when he flicks your forehead. 

“teach me.” your eyes snap open, flickering to meet his. a confused noise leaves your lips as your brows furrow. 

“teach you what?” your eyes flutter when he flicks your forehead again.

sae’s eye twitches in annoyance, “are you stupid or something?”

you glare at him, “not everyone thinks the same things you do!”

he clicks his tongue, rolling his eyes. he points at the mop and then at himself. “teach me to clean.”

“i thought you said you were a visual learner.” you deadpan. 

“consider this your punishment for laughing at me.” he huffs, a condescending smile blooming on his lips when he sees your pained expression.

his face leans closer to yours, “i look forward to learning from you, teach.”

you dumbly stare at him as he places the mop in your hands. he flashes you a shit-eating grin before retreating to his room. you blink twice before coming to your senses, punching the couch cushions in anger. 

you wish you hadn’t found out itoshi sae was a little shit. you much preferred when you only thought of him as your useless roommate. 

itoshi sae is the most infuriating student you’ve ever met. 

you thought someone described as a genius would be a much better student than he actually is. he doesn’t pay attention to anything you say at all. you wonder if his teachers just let him pass the class because they don’t want him around anymore. 

you have a newfound respect for his actual teachers. you don’t know how they manage to stand him for a whole semester when you don’t think you can even last two weeks. (it’s still longer than you expected.)

“sae,” you loudly sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose, “you’re doing it wrong. again.” 

his grip around the broom tightens, his knuckles turning white, “i’m doing what you told me to do!”

“you’re not!” you groan, running a hand down your face, “gosh, how do you manage to do everything i tell you the wrong way?”

“what, so i’m the problem?” his eyes narrow, he takes a step closer to you, “have you ever thought that maybe you’re a bad teacher?”

an angry gasp leaves your lips, “excuse me?!”

“you heard me.” he grits his teeth, “you’re clearly the most lukewarm teacher ever. how do you expect me to learn when you don’t care about teaching me properly?”

“have you ever considered that maybe i don’t want to teach you because you forced me to?” you rub your temples in a poor attempt to prevent the coming headache.

he scoffs, brows knitting in annoyance, “you could at least put more effort into making sure i’m learning.”

“you think i’m not?” you point him square in the chest, glaring at him. “i’m doing my best here, okay? it’s not my fault you’re a shit student.”

“you–”

“you listen while your teacher is speaking.” you seethe, grabbing a fistful of his shirt, “i’m trying to do the best i can. i’m not qualified to teach you anything, especially not with how you don’t even pay attention to what i say!”

he frowns, “well, i–”

you shake him as hard as you can, angry tears pooling in your eyes, “you’re the most ungrateful, useless piece of fucking shit i’ve ever met in my life!”

sae grabs your wrists, letting the broom fall with a clang to the floor. he stares at you with wide eyes. you blink, heat creeping up your face in embarrassment.

there’s a beat of silence. sae’s eyes scan your face. “you good?” 

he lets out a soft sigh of relief when you nod. “are you going to punch me if i let go?”

he relaxes a little when you shake your head. he looks at you as he slowly lets go of your hands. you stare at him, wide eyed as he gently walks you over to the couch and sits you down.

sae plops down on the other end of the couch, glancing at you. he opens his mouth to speak, but promptly closes it. you stop yourself from laughing at his awkwardness. (it reminds you of how you must’ve acted when you talked to him a couple of weeks ago.)

you twist the hem of your shirt in your hands, looking away from sae, gnawing on your bottom lip. “’m sorry about that.”

“don’t apologize.” he coughs awkwardly, crossing his arms, “i probably stressed you out too much.”

“yeah, but, still,” you turn to face him, “i shouldn’t have said something so rude.”

“it’s fine. i really did deserve that, after all.” an amused laugh escapes his lips, “i’ve never heard you so mad before, though.”

you tilt your head to the side, “what do you mean?” 

“i mean,” a hint of amused smile tugs at the corners of his lips, “you tend to get really loud when you complain about your classes. i can hear you all the way to my room.”

your face heats up in embarrassment. you slump against the couch, hiding your face behind your hands. “sorry.”

“stop apologizing,” you slightly relax when you hear a sliver of empathy in his voice. “it’s better to let your emotions out instead of holding them in.”

you lower your hands from your face, staring at him. “do you do that?”

“it depends,” he hums, “feelings are lukewarm most of the time, so when i get angry or whatever i’ll let it out so i can get it over with.”

you narrow your eyes at him, scanning his face. “how does that even work?”

he shrugs nonchalantly, “if i get mad at someone i’ll say it to their face while i’m still mad so i can stop being angry.”

you mull over his words, “so instead of having pent up feelings and reaching your limit, you just act on your emotions as soon as possible so you go back to feeling nothing?”

“pretty much.”

a small hum leaves your lips. silence settles between the two of you before a loud growl echoes through the apartment. laughter bubbles in your chest, spilling out of your mouth when sae’s face flushes.

“shut up!” he hides behind his hands, “i haven’t eaten all day!”

you stand up, walking over and extending a hand out to sae, “wanna help out with dinner?”

he lowers his hands from his face, glancing between your eyes and your hand. he blinks, “i can’t cook.”

“i know,” a smile blooms on your lips, “you can consider it your first lesson.”

sae’s eyes light up, the corners of his lips tilting up ever so slightly. “you’re still gonna teach me?”

“i can’t let you stay useless forever.” you stick your tongue out at him, smiling when he grabs your hand.

a huff of laughter escapes his lips when you fail to tug him up. you flip him off before leaving him behind on the couch. a smile lingers on his face when he follows you to the kitchen. 

he’s not a good assistant. (and he’s an even worse cook). in fact, if you’d known that letting him into the kitchen would’ve resulted in having to evacuate the building due to the fire alarm, you wouldn’t have asked for his help at all.

however, you do appreciate that he invited you out for dinner later as an apology for stressing you out. 

(it makes you think he’s more considerate than he pretends to be.)

you’ve lost track of the times you’ve had to apologize to your neighbors over sae activating the fire alarm. 

it’s embarrassing enough that seemingly everyone in the complex goes to your college, but sae seems to make it worse by glaring at anyone who so much as looks in your direction with a judgemental stare.

“i can’t keep going on like this,” you cover your face with your hands. you shrink into yourself when you feel multiple eyes staring at the back of your head.

“stop overreacting.” sae clicks his tongue. still, he discreetly grabs the hem of your shirt and gently pulls you closer to his side. 

you lower your hands from your face, frowning at him as tears of shame pool in your eyes. “everyone’s judging us!”

“just ignore them.” he awkwardly pats your head, “they’ll forget about it soon enough.”

“sae, this happens almost every week!” you cry, gnawing your lower lip, “some guy yelled at me last time because we interrupted his studying! do you have any idea how long i had to apologize for?”

his jaw clenches as anger flashes through his face for a split second before his uninterested expression returns. “what’d he look like?”

“i don’t know,” you blink, “he was tall. he also had brown-ish hair, i think?”

he shoves his hands in his pockets, tilting his head in the direction of the building, “do you know his apartment number?” 

“no,” you sigh. “why?”

the corners of his lips quirk up into a mischievous smile. “i was thinking of baking him some apology cookies.”

you cover your mouth in a feeble attempt to stifle your laughter. (if everyone was staring at you in judgment for triggering the fire alarm, now they’re judging you for laughing in this situation.)

sae tugs you into the building when you’re all cleared to enter, glaring at a few neighbors who shoot dirty looks at both of you.

you smack his arm, “stop doing that, you’re embarrassing us!”

he scoffs, flipping off anyone who’s still staring, “does it look like i care? they’re all too scared to say anything to my face, anyway.”

“yeah, but they always say shit to me when you’re gone,” you click your tongue, frowning. sae drags you up the stairs to your apartment.

both of you stand in front of your door when sae puts his hands on your shoulders, staring at you in the eyes. his eyes are a pretty shade of teal, you note.

“if anyone gives you shit when you’re alone, just remember what they look like, ‘kay?” he flicks your forehead, a malicious gleam in his eyes, “i’ll make sure to personally apologize for the trouble.”

a smile blooms on your lips, “you’re so mean.”

“shut up,” he rolls his eyes, pinching your cheek, “as your roommate, i’m the only one allowed to give you a hard time.”

“whatever you say, freak,” you rub your cheek, smile widening, swatting his hand away when he reaches out to pinch your other cheek. 

sae bites back a smile as he nods his head toward the door. “did you bring your key?”

you reach into your pockets, feeling around for the key. your head tilts down, eyes widening in panic when you don’t find anything. 

an embarrassed chuckle slips past your lips when you lift your head back up to look at sae. he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“gosh, you’re so useless.” 

you kick his shin, sticking your tongue out at him, “you don’t get to say that to me.”

he sticks his tongue out at you in return, crossing his arms. “whatever. just go and ask the landlord for a key.”

“me?” you raise your brows at him, haughtily tilting your head to the side, “you’re the reason we had to evacuate the building in the first place! i think it’s only fair that you get the key.”

sae opens his mouth to tell you off, but seemingly decides to sigh loudly in annoyed defeat instead, “fine.”

you smile triumphantly, turning to face him, your eyes closing as your chest puffs out in pride. sae rests his index finger on your forehead. your eyes flutter open in confusion at the contact, smile dropping into a curious pout. 

“tell me if anyone bothers you while i’m gone.” he flicks your forehead one last time before turning around and walking away. a content smile blooms on your lips as you stare at his back, sliding down to sit next to the door.

you don’t tell him the tall guy from last time dropped by to yell at you again. sae didn’t even have to ask to tell something was wrong with the way your smile seemed dimmer when you told him you’d take over making lunch.

he doesn’t tell you he’s going to give that asshole the ‘apology’ cookies he’d mentioned before. (and he definitely doesn’t mention that he got his apartment number from the landlord when he got the key to your apartment.) but you had an inkling of what he was going to do when you saw him take out some bowls and a whisk from the cabinets. (you didn’t stop him.)

you bake him some actual ‘thank you’ cookies and place them by his door before heading to your room for the night. the next morning you find a post-it with an ‘anytime’ messily scribbled on it and a ‘thanks for the cookies :)’ on the other side.

you smile fondly at the teal-colored square. you think it resembles the color of his eyes. (it makes you feel warm and fuzzy.)

sae’s gotten slightly better at cooking. he’s able to make at least one meal without triggering the fire alarms.

you feel proud. you suppose that’s what teachers feel when their most lazy, unmotivated student finally manages to put effort into something. 

it makes you feel proud enough that you take a detour to the convenience store on your way home. a fond smile lights up your face when you walk out of the store, plastic bag in hand with a chocolate bar and a pack of star stickers.

there’s a skip to your step as you head home, swinging the bag back and forth. 

you’ve barely even opened the door to your apartment when it swings open. your eyes widen in surprise when they meet sae’s. 

his eyes narrow, “what took you so long?”

a slightly burnt scent wafts the apartment. your nose scrunches, “is something burning?”

“answer my question first,” he points the spatula in his hand at you. 

“i got you a reward,” you smile, lifting the bag in your hands. 

his eyes light up, “what’d you get me?”

you quickly hide the bag behind your back when he reaches out for it. “answer my question first.”

a small smile tugs at his lips. he rolls his eyes, “nothing is burning. i turned off the stove before opening the door just to be sure.”

you reach out to pat his head, a teasing smile on your lips, “good job, sae!”

he scoffs, a soft blush dusts his ears. “you make it sound like you’re praising a dog.”

you huff, “stop complaining when you’re getting praised.”

“whatever.” sae pouts, brows knitting, “when are you giving me my gift?”

“so impatient ,” you tsk, shaking your head, “let me in first, i don’t wanna stand in the hallway any longer.”

he grabs your arm and pulls you close to him, kicking the door closed. you bump into his chest, eyes widening as heat rushes to your ears.

the first thing that pops into your mind is that he smells nice. there’s a hint of a burnt scent that clings to him, but he still smells nice. (you note that he feels warm too. it makes you feel warm.)

you feel a slight pressure against your brows. it makes you blink as you slowly snap out of your stupor. 

“you good?” your eyes meet sae’s worried ones. he leans in closer to you, scanning your face. you awkwardly nod. 

his brows furrow. “are you sure? you zoned out for a bit. are your classes stressing you out too much?”

you shake your head, slightly leaning away from him. your lips press into a fine line. sae’s eyes narrow as he scans your face. he steps back, his hands resting on your shoulders. the spatula lightly digs into your skin.

“is it that guy again?” he tightens his grip, making you wince when the spatula presses harder against your skin, “is he still bothering you?”

“i think you scared him away,” you quickly swat his arms away. “i’m fine, though.”

“are you sure?” he sighs when you nod, “why’d you zone out then?”

“i got distracted,” you gnaw on your bottom lip. 

his expression morphs to confusion, “with what?”

your eyes widen slightly. you don’t want to tell him he’s the reason you zoned out. so, you settle for the only thing that comes to mind, “the smell of something burning. are you sure you turned off the stove?”

“yes.” he groans in annoyance. there’s a small pause. sae turns around, tugging you into the kitchen with him. 

“look!” he points at the stove, “it’s off. stop making me second-guess myself.”

an amused smile blooms on your face, “i can’t believe you had to come check if you actually turned it off.”

“i can’t believe you actually haven’t given me my gift yet,” he scoffs, pouting. 

you laugh, reaching out to flick his forehead. “patience is a virtue, sae. it’d do you well to have it.”

“whatever.” he tries to grab the bag from your hands. “just give it to me already.”

you smile, pulling out the chocolate bar from the bag. laughter bubbles in your chest when you see his stunned expression.

“chocolate?” he glares at the bar in your hand, “do you know how unhealthy that is for me?”

“if you don’t want it i’ll just keep it, then.” you nonchalantly shrug.

he snatches it out of your grasp. “i never said i didn’t want it.”

his eyes twinkle when he unwraps it. he glances up at you, “do you want a bite?”

“just a small one,” you reach out to grab the bar. 

sae moves the chocolate out of your reach, “open your mouth.”

you blink, tilting your head in confusion. he sighs, “i’ll feed it to you. i need to make sure you don’t bite off half of the bar.”

“do you trust me so little?” you scoff, crossing your arms. still, you open your mouth, heat rushing to your ears when sae tells you to take a bite. 

“is it good?” he stares at you, taking a bite of the chocolate when you nod. 

you both swallow at the same time, a smile lighting up your face. “i think you deserve another reward for sharing.”

his brows raise in intrigue, “another? gosh, you’re really spoiling me today, aren’t you?”

you take the pack of stickers out of the back, waving it in front of him. he gives you an unamused look. 

“i bought these for whenever you do something nice,” you place a sticker on his cheek.

“that’s stupid,” he frowns. 

“shut up, you look cute.” you pinch his other cheek.

he clicks his tongue, “whatever. now get out of my kitchen i need to continue making dinner.”

laughter spills out of your mouth when he pushes you into the living room. “do you want me to help?”

“no.” he huffs, “i can do it myself. now go relax or something, i’ll come get you when dinner’s ready.”

“are you sure you’ll be fine on your own?” you snicker, “i’d hate to have to evacuate the building.”

he lightly smacks your shoulder, “i can cook by myself!”

“sae–”

“just let me cook something for you this once,” he mutters. 

a soft, defeated sigh leaves your lips, “okay.”

“i’ll let you cook alone,” you smile, “just this once, though. i can’t leave you unsupervised for too long.”

he hums, patting your head before heading back to the kitchen. a small smile lingers on your lips as you make your way to the couch, turning on the tv.

it doesn’t take long for sae to walk over, two plates in his hands, and a self-satisfied smile on his lips.

you’d be lying if you said the meal was good. it was slightly charred, and a little too salty. you’re sure you would’ve managed to turn it into something decent if he’d let you help. 

still, as bad as the food was, you can’t help but eat it with a smile on your face, a warm, fuzzy feeling tugging at your heart. 

sae groans in annoyance when you place another sticker on his forehead. (your heart leaps when you notice the soft flush to his cheeks.)

he lets you help him wash the dishes, complaining when you flick soapy water in his direction. laughter fills the apartment when he flicks water back at you. time seemingly slowing down to let you savor the moment just a little longer before you head back to your room.

you drift off to sleep with a smile on your face. your heart drums against your chest when you recall the smile on sae’s face. 

(you wish he’d smile at you more often.)

you’ve discovered sae is much better at cleaning than he is at cooking. you’ve also discovered that he’s more thoughtful than he lets on. 

he tends to clean the apartment while you’re in class. he claims it’s because he absolutely must practice cleaning in order to get better. (you don’t believe him.) he swears he ensures the apartment’s clean by the time you get home because he can’t stand your nagging. (you still don’t believe him.)

it’s why you’ve had to go out and buy more stickers to reward him with. it’s also why you’re a little surprised to see him still mopping the apartment when you get back.

you take your shoes off, quickly putting on your slippers. “you’re still cleaning?”

“i’m almost done,” he hums, “practice ended a little later today.”

you make your way to the couch, careful not to slip on the floor, “why? is there a match soon?”

“there’s one tomorrow,” he turns to look at you, frowning when he sees you pull out a pack of stickers with a teasing smile on your face. (he still makes his way over to you when you tell him to come closer despite knowing your intention.) he watches you place the sticker on his shirt, a concentrated look in your eyes.

he sticks his tongue out at you when you look up at him with a satisfied grin. sae rests his hand on top of your head. “wanna come watch?”

you tilt your head to the side, “i’m not a big football fan.”

he playfully shakes your head, brows knitting, “have you ever even been to a football match?”

“no,” you pry his hand off your head, “but i don’t really see the point of going when i know i’ll get bored.”

he rolls his eyes, “you won’t.”

“how do you know?” you lean closer to him, raising a brow, a playful grin on your lips.

he leans closer to you, nose playfully scrunching, “because i’m going to be playing.”

your face scrunches up in mock disgust, “you’re making me not want to go even more.”

he teasingly clutches his heart in faux pain, a smile on his lips as he tries to hold back his laughter, “you’re so mean. you’re hurting me right now.”

“are you trying to make me feel bad?” you bite back a smile, fondly rolling your eyes. “because it’s totally working.”

“your sarcasm wounds me,” he frowns, shaking his head. “i can’t believe my roommate won’t support me at my match.”

you punch his arm, “keep this up and you won’t be eating any dinner.”

“fuck,” a hearty laugh escapes his lips, “when’d you get so mean?”

“i learned from the best,” you stick your tongue out at him. a soft laugh leaves your lips when sae scoffs, looking away. 

“are you really not going to go see the match?” he turns to you, pouting. you hate when he uses that little pout to guilt you. (you hate that you fall for it even more.)

you sigh, slumping against the couch, “i’ll think about it.”

“just give me an actual answer, damn.” he taps your forehead, “are you going, yes or no?”

a teasing smile creeps up your lips, “maybe.”

you laugh when he calls out your name in annoyance. he groans, glaring at you, “i hate you.”

“no you don’t,” you smile at him, “if you did you wouldn’t have asked me to go see you play tomorrow.”

his face flushes in embarrassment. “you’re not even going anyway!”

you rest your head on your hand, “i am, though.”

he stares at you, unimpressed. there’s a beat of silence before he huffs, the corners of his lips quirking up, “i really can’t stand you sometimes.”

“it’s not my fault you’re fun to tease!” you laugh. he flips you off before turning around to continue mopping. you sigh, stretching your arms up. a couple of seconds go by before you get up to make your way to the kitchen.

“where are you going?” 

“the kitchen,” you hum, turning around to look at sae. your ears burn when your eyes meet his. you wish you knew what goes on in his head when he stares at you so intensely. you wish you knew if he even knows he’s staring at you so intently. a small, awkward cough leaves your lips, “i wanted to get started on dinner.”

“you’re not even going to wait for me?” you fiddle with the hem of your shirt at his teasing tone. 

sometimes you wonder if he knows how domestic your dynamic has become. if he’s aware that people have started associating him with you, and vice versa. if he’s aware of the effect his words have on you. (you really wish you could take a peek inside his mind.)

“you’d just get in my way,” you tsk, “besides i wanna finish quickly, my head hurts a little.”

he quickly walks over to you, dragging the mop behind him, “have you taken any medicine?”

“i’m fine,” you wave off the hand he placed on your forehead, “it’s probably because i’m hungry.”

“are you sure?” your heart pounds against your chest at his concern. 

you give him a reassuring smile, “i’m sure. if it still hurts before i go to bed i’ll take some medicine.”

“fine.” he huffs, lips pursing, “but if you still feel bad tomorrow, promise you’ll let me know.”

you feel your heart squeeze. you gnaw on your bottom lip, twisting the hem of your shirt with your hands. 

“i promise.” your voice is barely above a whisper, it’s just loud enough for him to hear.

he smiles, patting your head, “don’t push yourself too hard, ok?”

sae turns around. you stare at his back, his name tumbling out of your lips before you can stop yourself. he turns around with a curious hum.

you feel like your heart rests on your throat. he patiently waits for you to continue. heat rushes to your ears and you wipe your hands against your shirt. “i also promise i’ll go see your match.”

the smile that lights up his face makes you wish it was tomorrow already. you want to go. (because you like seeing him smile.) you want to go see his match. (because it’ll make him happy.)

you want to see him do his favorite thing in the world. you want to share that happiness with him, despite not caring much for the sport. (because you think it’ll make him happy to see you there, even if he doesn’t say it. you want to be the reason he feels genuine happiness.)

you’re not there.

it’s the first thing sae notices when he looks at the stands. it’s what he keeps noticing whenever he turns to look at the stands throughout the match. when they reach halftime and you’re still not there, so he texts you. the second half starts and you’re still not there. 

the game ends and you never showed up. his brows knit when he checks his phone only to find out you never even read his messages. concern carves itself into him. 

he makes his way back to the apartment as quickly as he can, secretly hoping that nothing bad happened to you.

his heart beats faster, anxiety seeping into him when he opens the door and he doesn’t see your figure on the couch. 

sae hastily kicks his shoes off, dropping his duffel bag somewhere on the floor. he lets out a deep breath when he stands in front of your door, quickly knocking.

a couple of seconds go by before he knocks again, frowning when there’s no reply. he quietly opens the door, mentally apologizing. his eyes quickly scan the room for you. there’s a lump in his throat when he sees something stir under your bed sheets. 

he quietly walks over to your bed, slowly lowering your comforter. his chest tightens, brows knitting with worry when he sees your face twisted in pain, a slight sheen of sweat on your forehead. he grabs a tissue from your nightstand, gingerly wiping the sweat away. 

he sharply inhales when you stir under his touch. sae stares at you as you slowly open your eyes. his eyes fill with concern when he notices how heavy, and unfocused yours look.

he presses the back of his hand against your forehead, brows furrowing even more, “gosh, you’re burning up.”

“sae?” he can barely hear your voice. “why’re you here?” 

he clicks his tongue, wiping more sweat off your forehead.

“what about the match?” you blearily look at him, voice laced with soft concern. you try to keep your eyes open when he heads out, grogginess catching up to you when he returns with a bowl in his hands, a hand towel over his shoulder. 

he dampens the towel, wringing out the excess onto the bowl. sae gently presses it against your forehead, “have you had a fever all day long?”

“did i miss it?” his heart aches at how choked up your voice sounds. 

“i thought i told you to tell me if you weren’t feeling alright, dumbass,” he nags, carefully lifting your head up to prop another pillow under it. 

“‘m sorry.” your eyes fill with tears, a pout tugging at your lips. he gently adjusts the towel against your skin. 

“don’t apologize,” he softly tsks, “worry about getting better, not about missing the game, idiot.”

he panics when a tear rolls down your cheek, hastily brushing it away. his heart squeezes in pain when more tears freely roll down your cheeks. 

“i didn’t,” you sniffle, “didn’t wanna miss the game.”

he shushes you, grabbing another tissue to wipe your tears away. “it’s fine.”

“‘s not,” your breath quickens, brows knitting in sadness, “i promised.”

he firmly calls out your name, “it’s not your fault.”

“i promised,” you hiccup. sae frowns, reaching out to remove the towel from your forehead, pouting when he notices you’re still burning up. he quickly dampens it again before resting it against your skin once more.

“i’ll go get you some medicine,” he whispers, turning around to exit your room.

sae stops in his tracks when he feels something weakly tug at his fingers. he turns to look at you, sucking in a shaky breath when he sees you holding on to him.

“don’t leave.” you weakly try to pull him closer. 

there’s a slight flicker of hope in him that tells him you’re aware of what you’re doing despite your raging fever. but he quickly extinguishes it by reminding himself that you probably think you’re dreaming. (because there’s no way you’d tell him to stay with you otherwise, he’s sure of it.)

“i have to get you some medicine,” he mutters. still, he makes no attempt to free his hand from yours.

“stay.” he wants to. he wants to stay with you more than anything. but he needs to get you something to relieve your fever.

he sits on your bed, readjusting your grip on his hand, “i need to go get your medicine.” 

he gingerly readjusts the towel on your forehead, slightly smiling at you. his heart pangs with worry when he notices how clammy your hands are. 

sae’s eyes widen when you lift yourself up, wrapping your arms around his neck. the towel on your forehead drops into his lap. he feels you rest your head on his shoulders, frowning at the heat emanating from you. (still, he wraps his arms around you so you don’t fall.)

his worried eyes meet your hazy ones when you slowly lift your head to look at him, a sleepy smile on your lips. 

“so stubborn,” your hands cup his cheeks. 

sae freezes when he feels your lips press against his. his heart beats faster, blush spreading through his face like wildfire. 

a sharp inhale leaves his lips when he feels your hands drop from his cheeks, your body tilting back. he cups the back of your head before it hits the pillow.

his eyes scan your face. he lowers his head when he feels your feeble grip on his jacket. his eyes flicker to yours when you weakly tug him closer in an attempt to press his lips against yours again. 

he slowly lifts your head up, a soft huff of laughter slipping past his lips when a glimmer of anticipation flashes through your eyes. he presses his lips against yours in a short peck, a startled noise leaving his mouth when you pull him back in. 

his face heats up more and more every time you chase after his lips when he pulls away for air. he pants when you pull away, trying to catch your breath. he rests his forehead against yours, his breath fanning against your lips. 

you softly call out his name. butterflies erupt in his stomach. he really hopes you know you’re not dreaming. 

his arm tightens against you, the hand resting on the back of your head gently tilting it to the side. he doesn’t think twice before pressing his lips against yours again, a content sigh escaping him when you melt under his touch. 

he presses his lips against yours over and over again, gently lowering you back onto the bed. your kisses feel like they’re the very air he breathes. like he’ll suffocate if he’s apart from you for more than a second.

sae kisses you silly until he feels your grip against his jacket soften. he pulls away, panting, face ablaze, eyes looking at your sleeping face with a softness that is so unlike him.

he carefully removes your hands from him, lifting your comforter to tuck you into bed. a smile lingers on his lips as he places the towel on your forehead again. 

he quietly makes his way out of your room, pressing the pads of his fingers against his lips. his heart feels like it wants to jump out of his chest. a deep sigh leaves his lips. he makes his way to the front door, quickly putting on his shoes to go buy your medicine.

sae really hopes you get better soon. (he wants to kiss you again, and he wants to be sure you’ll remember it properly.)

if you thought sae was a bad student, he’s an even worse patient. he is the most uncooperative sick person you’ve ever met in your life. 

you suppose it’s only fair to put up with him since he took care of you while you were sick. (even if it makes you want to knock him unconscious.)

still, it never fails to make your blood boil when you find him wobbling around the living room with a broom in his hands.

“would it kill you to stay in bed?” you stomp over to him, prying the broom off his hands before propping it against the wall.

he blearily looks at you, pouting. he sniffles, “yes.”

you frown, grabbing his hand and dragging him to his room. he glares at you when you force him to lay down on his bed. 

“stay here while i get your medicine,” you point at him, glaring back. “or i’ll suffocate you with a pillow until you fall asleep.”

“you can’t be rude to me while i’m sick!” he angrily crosses his arms, scoffing.

it’s still surprising that he’s still in bed when you get back. it’s even more surprising that he’s staring at the door, his face lighting up when you enter. 

his nose scrunches up in disgust when he sees the cough syrup in your hands. he burrows himself in his comforter, turning his head away from you. 

“sae.” you gently call out, sitting next to him. a small smile blooms on your lips when he slowly turns to look at you. “you know you have to take your medicine to get better, right?”

“if i take my medicine,” he sneezes, “will you give me a reward?”

“yeah, sure, i’ll give you a sticker.” you absentmindedly hum, uncapping the syrup. 

“no,” he shakes his head,  “i want another reward.” 

your brows raise in confusion, your turn your attention to him. “what kind of reward?”

he smiles, lifting a hand to tap his lips and then tapping yours. your face heats up, jaw dropping. you gently swat his hand away, pouting. “you shouldn’t tease like that.”

“‘m not,” he sticks his tongue out at you, “i want another kiss.”

“another?” you blink in surprise. your eyes widen slightly when a cheeky smile creeps up his lips. 

“you kissed me when you were sick,” he snickers, nose scrunching up when you force the syrup into his mouth. 

“no i didn’t,” you frown. he forces himself to swallow the cough syrup, a choked gasp leaving his lips.

“you don’t remember?” he whines, sniffling when you shake your head. 

you feel a pang in your heart when sae looks at you, eyes swimming with sadness. “‘m sorry, sae.”

“‘s fine,” he playfully smiles, “i’ll just have to make up for it later.”

heat spreads through your face. a pout tugs at your lips, “don’t say stuff like that. i might take you seriously.”

“i’m being serious,” he sniffles, “wanna kiss you again.”

you shyly stare at him, shrinking into yourself. you suppose being sick must’ve made him bolder. or maybe he just wants to get back at you. but you have to admit it gives you the perfect excuse to make him stop being so difficult.

“i’ll kiss you if you stop complaining about taking your medicine,” you quietly huff, fingers playing with your shirt. 

your ears feel like they’re on fire when his face lights up. “but only when you get better! i don’t wanna get sick again.”

he nods, a satisfied grin blooming on his lips. “sounds good to me.”

there’s a beat of silence before you stand up. sae’s eyes widen, “where are you going?”

“i’m gonna go make you some soup,” you hum, “you should sleep while i’m gone.”

sae pouts, “‘m not tired.”

“that’s too bad, then,” you stick your tongue out at him. he clicks his tongue. 

“i’ll be back soon,” you pat his head. he huffs, pouting.

you barely take a step forward, yelping when you feel something yank you back. your brows knit in annoyance when you feel sae wrapping his arms around you. 

“sae.”

“‘m only going to sleep if you stay with me.” he mutters.

an amused smile tugs at your lips. you’re starting to think he’s cute when he’s sick. a little clingy, but cute. (you also think you might indulge him just this once.)

“fine,” you sigh. “but i’m leaving as soon as you fall asleep.”

you don’t. 

you’re not sure exactly when you fell asleep, but you’re sure it wasn’t dark outside when sae pulled you towards him. part of you wants to stay with him, just to let him sleep longer. but you also know you need to make him some soup. 

so, you gently try to pry yourself off of him. a soft groan leaves your lips when his arms tighten around you. 

his name tumbles out of your mouth. “i have to go make your soup.”

“‘m coming with you.” his voice sounds hoarse. (his nose sounds stuffy, too.)

“sae,” you try to pry his arms off, “you need to rest.”

“‘m going with you.” he huffs, “there’s nothing you can say to make me not join you.”

you begrudgingly decide to indulge him again. which is why he’s slumped over your shoulder as you make your way to the kitchen. it’s why he’s holding onto your waist, burrowing his face in your neck as you move around the kitchen. 

(it’s why your face feels like it’s on fire when he nuzzles closer to you, smiling.)

and you think that maybe him being a little too clingy isn’t that bad.

when a girl in your class asks you what sae is to you, you’re not sure what to say. 

you could say he’s your roommate, like you used to. but you don’t think he’d make himself extremely comfortable in your personal space if he was just your roommate. you could also say he’s your friend (much to everyone’s surprise.) but you’re not sure if he’d be so obsessed with kissing you whenever you’re both home if he was just your friend. 

(still, he’s not exactly your boyfriend, either. you’re not sure what he is. neither of you have brought it up before.)

either way, she wouldn’t be satisfied with the answer you give her. at least, that’s what you think with the way she glowers at you.

so, you just say he’s nothing. (which is a lie. but she doesn’t need to know that.) 

the result is what you expected, some angry huffing and empty warnings to stay away from sae. (not that it’d work seeing how you live with him.) except, things take a turn for the worse when your phone screen lights up, displaying sae’s name on it while it rings on the table. 

a pained expression flashes through your face when she clears her throat. you tilt your head up to look at her, an awkward, tense smile on your lips.

“i thought you said he was nothing to you?” she scoffs. 

“he is.” you internally curse how fast you replied. you hope she didn’t notice. 

she rolls her eyes, “then why do you have his contact saved with a star on your phone?”

you blink, your lips pressing into a fine line. “because he’s a star?” 

she doesn’t look convinced. (neither are you.) a loud, annoyed groan leaves her lips as she looks you up and down, crossing her arms.

“listen here, idiot,” she glares at you. anger flashes in her eyes when your phone rings again. “i don’t know who you think you are–” 

(you don’t know who she thinks she is, but with the way she seems to be unaware that you literally live with sae, you assume she must be some clueless freshman who happened to go to one of the football matches, saw sae, and became one of his many fans.)

“–but if you even consider the idea that sae might be into you–”

(you don’t even have to consider the idea, it pretty much solidified itself as a fact given with the way he kisses you until both of you are struggling to catch your breath whenever you two are alone.)

“–then you’ve got another thing coming,” she grabs your wrist, digging her nails into your skin. “i don’t know how someone like you got his number, but he doesn’t need freaks like you bothering him.”

she looks at you with contempt, “so stay away from him, or else–”

“or else what?” 

you both turn your heads to the door. her grip on your wrist loosens. you bite back a laugh when she removes her hand, shyly tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“sae,” she takes a step closer to him. you hide your smile behind your hand when you see his clearly annoyed and disgusted expression. (you note he looks disheveled. you also notice his duffel bag slung over his shoulders.)

“or else what?” you snort at the clear anger in his voice. he glares at her, crossing his arms. she shrinks into herself, clearly nervous. 

“i was just trying to keep this freak away from you,” she plays with her hair. you feel embarrassed for her when she continues, “you shouldn’t have to deal with–”

“who the fuck even are you anyway?” he cuts her off, scowling. 

her eyes light up, “i’m–”

“leaving? i sure fucking hope so.” he scoffs, walking over to you. his face softens when he looks at you. 

sae extends his hand out to you, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips when you slip your hand into his. he reaches out for your backpack, quickly shrugging it on his shoulder before you can protest. 

“i thought you were one of the first people out of class,” he hums, lacing his fingers with yours.

your eyes flicker to the girl, who is still standing next to the table, face flushed in embarrassment. “i got held up.”

sae glances in her direction, scoffing in annoyance. “you’re still here?”

you can’t help but feel a little bad for her when her eyes well up with tears of embarrassment, her hands bunching up her skirt. “i thought–”

“you thought wrong,” he clicks his tongue, “now get lost.”

her eyes snap to yours, anger replacing the embarrassment, “i thought you said he was nothing to you!”

sae gasps, looking at you, hurt written all over his face. you look away, biting the inside of your cheek. he calls out your name, “why’d you say that?”

“i didn’t know what else to say,” you mumble. 

“say i’m your boyfriend!,” he huffs. “or do you not want to say that?”

heat floods your face. you hide your face in sae’s back when you hear choked sobs. you tug at his jacket, “can we just go home already?”

you take a peek at the girl from behind sae’s shoulder. “i don’t want to talk about this here.”

“fine,” he mutters, “but this conversation is not over.”

he drags you out of the classroom. you don’t look back, but you gnaw your bottom lip when you hear muffled sobs coming from behind you. 

you both walk in silence for a bit. a small smile blooms on your lips when sae slows down his pace to match yours. 

“i’m surprised you didn’t tell her off.” he hums. 

“you got there before i could,” you fondly shake your head, “i would’ve loved giving her a piece of my mind.”

a soft laugh leaves his lips, “i’m sure you’ll find another occasion to do so.”

the walk home feels quicker than usual. you suppose it’s because sae’s actually with you instead of over the phone.

you’re barely past the door to your apartment when sae wraps his arms around you, pulling you close. he relaxes when you wrap your arms around him. 

“if someone asks you what i am to you,” he nuzzles his face into your neck, “just tell them i’m your boyfriend.”

“are you sure?” your hands clench around his jacket. 

he pulls back slightly to look at you, confusion written all over his face. “yeah? am i not your boyfriend already?”

“i don’t know?” your brows knit in confusion. 

“i thought it was clear?” he blinks. “it wasn’t clear to you?”

“i don’t think i would’ve been threatened by one of your fangirls if it was clear,” you deadpan. 

“oh.” he presses his lips into a fine line. “well, now you know.”

your jaw drops, “you’re not even going to ask if i want you to be my boyfriend?”

“i think it’s safe to say we’re well past asking,” he stares at you. 

“still,” you pout, “it’d be nice if you did.”

“what, are you going to give me a sticker if i do?” he scoffs. 

“i was gonna give you a kiss, but if you don’t wanna ask, then–”

“would you let me be your boyfriend?”

laughter spills out of your lips, “you didn’t even let me finish!” 

“just answer my question.” he smiles. “and hurry it up too, i have to clean.”

you playfully shake your head, “so demanding. but, i suppose you can be my boyfriend.”

sae’s lips are on yours as soon as the words leave your mouth. you gasp in surprise when he nips at your lower lip. 

you’re not sure how long he kisses you for, but you feel dizzy when you pull away. you angle your head away from his when he chases after your lips again. 

“i thought,” you pant, “thought you said you had to clean.” 

“it can wait.” he breathes out. 

“i have to cook.” 

he angles your head back to face him, “it can wait.”

“but–”

he calls out your name with a smile, “it can all wait. just let me kiss you again.”

“okay.” you smile when he tilts your head towards his. 

you think you’re starting to understand sae’s obsession with kissing you.

when you think of itoshi sae, the first thing that comes to mind is: boyfriend. you’re not sure if you’re ever going to get used to calling him that. you’ve told him it still sounds weird, he simply says it sounds perfect. 

you’re also not sure you’ll ever get used to the many pairs of eyes staring holes into the back of your head. (you blame sae for insisting you wear his spare jersey to his games.)

still, you suppose you could put up with all the staring if it means you get to see sae play.

(even if it means you have to endure his showing off for the next hour.)

“did you see how great i was out there?” he puffs out his chest. 

“you were the best!” you smile when he laces his fingers with yours. “i think you deserve a reward.”

you bite back a laugh when his head turns to look at you, eyes twinkling with anticipation. “close your eyes.”

you can practically feel the excitement rolling off of him as he closes his eyes. you let go of his hand, snickering when his brows furrow. you quickly reach into your bag, pulling out the sticker sheet you stashed in there. 

a laugh leaves your lips when you gingerly place a star sticker on sae’s cheek. “you can open your eyes now.”

you heartily laugh when sae touches his cheek, glaring at you when he feels the outline of a star. he huffs, “you’re the worst.”

“shut up, you love them.” you flick his forehead. 

he tsks, poking your nose. “when you said i deserved a reward, i thought you meant a kiss.”

“i can kiss you if you want.” you cheekily smile at him. he huffs, crossing his arms.

he turns his head away from you, “you ruined the moment with those stupid, lukewarm stickers.”

“you say that as if you don’t stick them against your mirror.” you stick your tongue out at him, the corners of your lips lifting into a smile when his cheeks flush. 

“i hate you,” he frowns, looking at you.

“no you don’t,” you peck his cheek.

“whatever,” he grumbles, “let’s just go home already.”

you laugh when he grabs your hand, tugging you in the direction of your apartment. (you don’t mention the smile on his lips.)

“i’m going to cook today,” he laughs when you groan in disgust. “i’ve gotten better!”

“yeah, right.” you quip. “i think it’d be better if you clean while i cook.”

“what if we cook together?” he hums.

“you’ll just get in my way.” you smile, laughing when he shakes your arm. 

“what if we go out to eat?” he shrugs nonchalantly. (you still notice the flush on his ears.)

“itoshi sae!” you gasp dramatically, “are you asking me out on a date?”

he scoffs, cheeks turning bright red. “don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“i’d be honored to go out with the itoshi sae,” your voice drips with mischief. a soft gasp leaves your lips when he tugs you to him, wrapping his arms around you.

“i think it’s me who’s honored to go out with you,” he mumbles. you hug him back, nuzzling into him. 

“we still need to head home, though,” he pulls away, “i want to take a shower.”

“want me to join you?” you laugh when you see his scandalized expression.

“you’re so shameless!” he bites back a laugh, hiding his face behind his hands.

“oh, please, like we haven’t showered together before.” you playfully scrunch your nose. 

he clicks his tongue, “as tempting as it sounds, i really would like to go eat early today.”

you fondly roll your eyes, tugging him towards your apartment. “fine.”

“but i’m not opposed to taking a shower with you when we get back.” he bites back a smile when you smack his shoulder.

the walk home is filled with laughter, teasing smiles on both of your faces. and, for once, you’re glad to have an opinion of sae.

(especially because it’s based on the version of your sae, and not the one everyone else thinks he is.)

[late-draft]

I want to know all of the details of the scifi au like right now, I'm so hooked instantly

Okay let me set the stage!

This is a sci-fi AU, leaning onto (what I've read) the first idea of ATLA; however unlike how it had Aang be from an ancient technologically advanced civilization waking up in a technologically regressed world(?), here the tech that Air Nomads had was forgotten and new one was created and it proliferated.

An important thing to keep in mind is that I intended this AU to be literally made up of iconic, primeval tropes of young audience's shows. I'm currently in a phase where I test how well I'm able to incorporate tropes and make the best use of them, so for this AU, expect it to feel EXACTLY like the thrill of running at 10 PM up to your grandma's CRT TV to watch that amazing series on Jetix you can't get enough of!!!!

~~~

First thing to notice here, the world has a Key Holder for every bending type. Keys are your magical symbols. It's the standard trope in these types of shows, think of them as kids who represent the absolute core traits of their element. Because Aang has to find specific individuals now rather than arbitrarily choosing a teacher, we have a tighter narrative although more trope-y. Aang is the Key holder for Air - every Avatar is always a Key holder for their native element, but can be taught other bending types only by respective elements' Key holders.

As expected, the world is ruled by the Fire Nation's strongest corporation, led by Emperor Ozai. Most of the setting is skyscrapers, huge power cables and mazes of pipeworks. Hakoda is the leader of resistance but he had disappeared two years ago, leaving his two children with a warning to stay hidden and safe below ground. Their secret hideout is pretty safe and cozy. Of course Sokka and Katara would not sit idly forever! Wandering through the underground they discover an ancient cryo pod, the only active one left. When he comes to himself, Aang realizes that he's the last airbender in the world for the past 1000 years.

The Avatar is able to operate ancient spiritual machines that the Air Nomads tended to. Once he learns all bending types, he'll be able to return airbending to the world through a Harmonic Convergence event by activating a huge lionturtle machine. The problem is - nobody knows where this machine is, but the Avatar is able to "listen" for signs of keyholders and machines through an ancient leftover network. Katara and Sokka swear to aid Aang in achieving this goal and restoring balance to the world. Ever since airbenders disappeared, there had been heavy dissonance in the spirit world, creating terrible natural disasters that altered the face of the planet. They're having difficulty finding the Key holder for Water.... the first one they find is Toph for Earth! She joins the gaang in late season 1 :)

In this AU, there's a tradeoff where the element of kungfu fights is reduced in favour of high-speed chases through the metropolis. Aang (14) moves quickly through the city using only his airbending, by running or speeding on his air sphere. The only piece of new equipment he wears are clear plastic goggles that Sokka (18) gave him. And while you might expect Zuko (19) to be chasing them on a red motorbike, no! It's in fact Katara (17) who's a super-skilled bike driver while Zuko and his entourage are on ROLLERBLADES SKATING ACROSS WALLS AND PIPES. Propulsion via firebending! (same thing Azula does in canon, just elevated to skating). Iroh waits for his nephiew to fail each chase and offer him tea, he's just wearing black dress pants. XD Sokka is Katara's genius engineer brother who constantly grumbles and throws sarcastic remarks because he has to fix her bike after every. single. chase! In this setting, Ozai is specifically looking for the Avatar because he could, using unethical means and technology on a trapped Avatar, be able to grant all bending types to whoever he chooses. This would spell disasteeeer. However, it's also implied that in a similar way, he could "fix" anyone...

Some notes:

You can probably feel the conclusions of many things I left blank. This is on purpose.

Zuko absolutely must have to be motivated by a desire to win his father's approval and love, this must not change. I'll introduce Azula in a later post.

The lionturtle as a concept and its effects are made clear and setup from the get-go. The spiritual machines are just a background element that doesn't affect the plot, it's just a goal.

Aang still has a crush on Katara! And it would be brought up a bit more frequently, in order to serve the plot.

Ozai is doing something concrete that's directly related to Avatar's bending, tying him closer to the Avatar as his antagonist.

This AU's setting is as you may have sensed, more mellow at first. It doesn't have a currently active war.

The characters are older because that feels more fitting to me. (I was investigating W.I.T.C.H. show and saw they were basically all 13 and dating and I was like. "Yikes. No")

Help me dig out any VISUAL references you might remember, from shows of the similar vibe. The goal is not to mimic but to add to the characteristic genre.

These screenshots are from OBAN: STAR RACERS and are what I'd associate with the old Air Nomad technology!

Shape Da Future from Jet Set Radio is precisely what aligned perfectly with this AU.

I'll be sharing more details about this AU in future posts, and everyone is welcome to add their ideas and thoughts on it! I wonder what I forgot to mention here…

[lethalchiralium]

Will Never Be Enough | Simon “Ghost” Riley x Wife!Reader

a/n: i am so sorry, but i’m trying to make this series as realistic as possible so that would include natural things that happen. :( it wouldn’t be a lethalchiralium series if there wasn’t angst… also the 141 are ride or die for you and the kids. it’s just canon i have nothing else to say 🤷‍♀️

warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Mentions of blood, miscarriages, vague descriptions of panic attacks. Mentions of babies and children.

summary: "Simon, I need you." The Lieutenant dropped the papers he was holding, they flew across the office floor. "I'm on my way." OR, Simon comes home to find you in a puddle of blood.

PREVIOUS << | >> NEXT | SERIES MASTERLIST

It had been a couple weeks since the appointment, and he didn’t expect you to feel sick for this long after. It worried him, but you assured him that it was fine; you had been sick for a while with Mellie, that you would be better soon. He took your word for it and let you rest.

He had made Winnie her breakfast of strawberry pancakes and sat her in front of the television, he held Mellie against his chest. She was sated, little belly full of formula and snoring away on his shoulder. He had made you food and was waiting for you to come down to eat, but he wasn’t worried about when you did. He was satisfied knowing that you would have had something to eat, that he would hopefully beg Price nice enough to come home early. His one arm that held Mellie kept her snug against his chest, he was putting up plates in the cabinets from washing them the night before. He made the mental note to get more baby spoons because Mellie had no longer liked most of them.

“Dad! Done!” Winnie called from the coffee table, he looked over his shoulder to her. She was holding up her clean purple plate so he could see, strawberry stained the front of her face. He closed the cabinet and grabbed a tea towel, moving from the kitchen and into the living room. The chestnut haired girl bounced on her feet to meet him in the middle, he kneeled and gently wiped her face.

“Is Mama still sick?” Winnie moved her face away from the tea towel, but he still cleaned her face as she moved awkwardly to miss his massive hand.

“Yeah, duckling.” He nodded and stood, walking back into the kitchen while his small daughter followed. He tossed the tea towel onto the counter, making a note to put it in the laundry later, before moving towards the fridge. “You still hungry?” He opened it, glancing over the leftovers he had for you last night, beverages, and jars of baby food to look for those little oranges Winnie liked.

“Nuh-uh.”

He closed the fridge when he didn’t see them, glancing down to the baby in his arm before he looked to his oldest daughter. “Get your bag, love, gonna go check on Mum.”

The girl in pigtails her father had put in earlier bounced on her feet, disappearing back into the living room. Simon turned towards the counter across from the fridge, grabbing the plate of food with a fork on it before making his way upstairs.

Mellie’s little hand gripped onto his t-shirt when he nudged his bedroom door open, making his way to your side of the bed in the light that seeped through from the hallway. He quietly settled your plate of food on your nightstand before moving back out of the room, towards Mellie’s room. He opened the door and quickly moved towards her crib, peeling his little one from his chest before placing her delicately on her back on the small mattress. Her crib creaked when Simon leaned forwards to kiss her forehead, he was quick to move away and out her room - when the door closed, it was silent. He slipped back into his bedroom and to your side, he could see your silhouette in the middle of the bed underneath the plush duvet.

He leaned a knee onto the side of the bed, a hand settled on your cheek as he spoke, “Sweetheart.”

You grunted in annoyance. “Don’t wake me unless someone is dying or the house is on fire.”

Simon chuckled, petting your hair. “Put your food on your nightstand, I’m takin’ Wins to school soon.”

Your arms moved to stretch over your head as he leaned forwards, his lips meeting yours. A smile on your lips, your hands now found his chest to gently pull him off. “Baby, I’m still sick.”

“Don’t care.” He mumbled, pressing another kiss to your lips before his hands began to tug down the duvet. He moved himself down the bed, quickly tugging up his old t-shirt on you to press his lips to the small swell of your stomach, where that little baby was growing. His little baby, half of him and half of you. “Quit makin’ your mum sick, all she’s doin’ is lovin’ ya.”

With a final kiss to his unborn son, he moved back to place his lips on your forehead, feeling the skin a lot warmer than he had expected. He leaned back into his knees, nodding towards the food on the nightstand. “‘m takin’ Duckling to school, Mel’s asleep. You need to eat.”

You nodded, your hand reached for his and he instantly took it. He pressed his lips to your knuckles, you smiled at him.

“I won’t be long, tryin’ to get Price to let me off early.”

You shook your head, dismissing it. “I’ll be fine, baby. I’ll call you if I need you.”

He pressed a quick kiss to your lips, a promise that he would be home soon.

—

Ghost desperately wanted it to be a slow day, but no. Active drills and testing on soldiers, Laswell was in for a debrief this morning, and a mention of a new deployment soon. He wasn’t very happy about it, but he said nothing. He would discuss it with you when he got home.

He had papers in his hand as he marched down to Price’s office; sergeants and privates diving out of his way to avoid his so-called ‘wrath’. All it was was a stare or the occasional pin onto the wall, nothing serious. In his hands were training reports on seasoned soldiers, descriptions of how their skills have improved and all that bullshit.

The man was tired, all he wanted to do was go home and lay in his bed underneath the dog pile of his daughters and wife. Maybe eat a sandwich or go for a run, but he had to be on base. He didn’t even have the time to look at Price this morning, this report was his saving grace to go home and make sure you were okay. He was itching to leave right this moment, but you’d never tell from his mask.

He knocked on Price’s door, not even waiting for permission to enter before he swung open the door. He shut the door behind him, moving to stand in front of Price.

“Got the reports-“

Ghost’s phone rang in his pocket, papers in his clutch as Price‘s voice died in his throat. His captain gave him a nod, letting Simon fish his phone out. He saw your pretty face on his screen and pressed the phone to his ear, concerned why you were calling him at one in the afternoon. He was about to get Price to let him leave earlier so he could take care of you and the girls.

“Hi, are you okay?”

“Simon, Simon-“ Your sobs were loud. “I need you.”

He dropped the papers he had onto the floor of Price’s office and booked it. “Baby, hey, I’m on my way.” He said, shoving past privates and his friends, who called after him. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Ever-Everything, there’s- There’s so much blood- I think-“ A loud sob. “I think I’m losing the baby.”

He felt like throwing up.

His hand went to his pocket, ripping out his keys but dropping them onto the concrete. He didn’t even have the time to pick them up before someone else did, he looked up to see Price.

He couldn’t see how badly he was shaking, all he could do was listen to you say, “It hurts so much.” Price moved around to the other side of his car, getting into the driver’s seat while he got into the passenger seat. He felt the car move as the back doors opened, he knew it was Soap and Gaz. Price didn’t even wait for them to close their doors before he pressed the pedal to the metal.

“I’m comin’, baby. Hold on.” He answered. “Talk to me, sweet girl.”

“Please,” Your voice cracked, sobs followed after. “Simon.”

His hand was shaking so bad, he could feel it now. His brain shut off, he could only feel fear as it tore through his entire being like fire. He couldn’t lose you, he wouldn’t ever dare to - not when it took so long to find you.

The fifteen minute drive home was made in seven, flat. Simon was out of the car before Price even put it in park. He ran. He sprinted into the house, not caring that the front door slammed against the wall. He’d fix it later. He took the stairs three at a time, hearing his daughter crying in your en-suite bathroom. He frantically ran down the hall, opening the bedroom door. The light from the bathroom lit up the room, he didn’t stop running until he almost went face first into the door frame. He was breathing hard, eyes now fixated on you.

Blood stained the floor of the bathroom and the bottom of the shirt of his you were wearing. Mellie was sat in your arms, tears stained her cheeks as she cried loudly. Your face looked paler, tears dripping down onto the crown of your daughter’s head. Your face was contorted into one in pain, one hand on the small bump of your belly.

“LT!” He heard Soap call, he turned his head towards the doorway of his bedroom.

“Up here!”

He then came to your side, kneeling beside you as the rumble of boots against the hardwood stairs were loud, making Mellie cry harder. Your hand reached for him, gripping onto his uniform as his own hand settled on your cheek. He glanced down at the blood that pooled around your legs. “What happened?”

“I-I felt sick and-and I got up and- there was-“ Sobs kept falling from your mouth, chest trembling and making the eight month old screech. “I can’t-“ Your face went to your daughter, pressing a kiss to her head as she kept crying. “Mels, please, baby-“

He was quick to remove his hand from your face, taking his daughter in his grasp before turning towards the bedroom. Gaz and Soap stood in it, Price behind them, all of them gazing through the doorway. Every single one of his friends’ faces had concern written all over them.

“Gaz.”

The Sergeant immediately came forwards, taking the little one in his grasp and leaving the bathroom. Simon turned back to you, grabbing your other hand and squeezing. You tried to take a deep breath, but hiccuped harshly. “It hurts, Simon. It hurts, it hurts.“ Your eyes screwed shut, he felt your knuckles pop as you kept squeezing his hand.

“I know.” He murmured, moving one arm to go underneath your knees. Your body was shaking, he was shaking, he didn’t know how to stop it, he wanted to stop it.

Your voice was nothing but a whisper, body trembling as he picked you up. “My baby.”

“Simon, what’s happened?” Price spoke, he probably noticed the blood on the floor that had seeped through your underwear. Simon felt his skin grow cold when he felt the blood against his forearm, moving into the bedroom before grabbing a blanket from the chair next to the dresser. He did his best to cover you, Soap immediately came to his aid. He pulled the blanket up to your neck while Simon awkwardly wrapped you in the gray blanket.

As soon as Soap had moved away, Simon was gone. Down the steps, through the hallway while hearing his infant daughter screeching in the kitchen. He kept his eyes on you, your eyes screwed so tight and hollow sobs echoed from your lips.

He didn’t hear Price tell Soap to go get Winnie from school, he didn’t listen when Price told Gaz to stay with Mellie, that he was going with Simon.

It was like the world was in slow motion when he stepped down the front porch, but it zipped by when Price’s hand landed on his shoulder. Simon didn’t even turn to look at Price.

“She’s miscarrying.”

———

hi. simon is great dad and you can’t convince me otherwise, he’s the best husband he can be so part 2 will be soon i promise :(

———

Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

[aetherdoesthings]

did you see the arlecchino animation and teaser??? a;fasjl;f

they make me so sad :(( also, the teaser was hot af tho, had me so downbad. arlecchino's lore is just so 😭

~EL anon

would you like new toys?

i simped so hard during the animation and teaser i decided to write a mini series fic about arlecchino. i have a lot of thoughts about it and now i'm regretting not taking up your offer lmao

forethoughts: my love language is writing someone an entire fic about them (not really, but i will write you an entire letter).

notes: fem!reader in mind, but gn!. NOT AN x READER!! READER IS A CHILD IN THIS!

In every cluster of children, there was always one that had trouble making friends. 

That title was unfortunately bestowed upon you.

Always excluded in activities and games, left to play in the corner with the leftover, worn out toys while everyone chose the newest and best toys in the box. It had always been that way; you didn’t see it changing any time.

Father was always more lenient and caring with you. She made sure you were the first in line to get breakfast, lunch and dinner. While everyone had a curfew, you were allowed to wander the halls freely and exit your room. That of course didn’t make it any easier for you to make friends. 

Like a robot given the same set of codes and no changes, days blurred into weeks, and weeks blurred into months while you lived your solitary life. 

~

You sat crossed leg, facing the corner of the playroom, hands empty. You ran out of luck; all the toys were already gone by the time you got to the box. Letting out a sigh, boredom finally consumed you, prompting you to stand up, brush the dust off your shorts as you exited the playroom. No one batted an eye or even glanced at your direction; to them you were invisible. To everyone you were invisible.

Wandering the halls of the House of Hearth at night gave you a pretty good scope on the architecture of the building. If someone asked you where the infirmary was or the bathroom, you could accurately pinpoint the location for them. You looked at the colorful glass panes on the sides of the halls, raising a hand to block the sunlight from hitting your face. They called you a dreamer, delusional for your ideas and thoughts. Said your hopes were far too high. Father always disagreed. Father always disagreed with whatever the others called you.

A sudden shriek was ripped out of your throat as your body went sideways, shoulder hitting an even stone ground. You winced, forcing yourself to sit as you examined your body. You could barely make out what was your leg and arm with the lighting. Standing up, you decided to explore the uncharted territory in your little mind map. The walls were lined with sharp blades that glimmered under the narrow light source opposite to the swords. You looked behind you, to your sides, in front of you, as you allowed curiosity to take hold of your mind. With two hands, you lifted one of the blades from its holding place, letting it fall onto the ground. You dragged the blade along the stone to the center of the room, ignoring the shriek of protest the sword was making. Letting out a deep breath, you gripped your hands around the hilt of the sword, lifting it as high as you could. When you’d finally lift it over your head, a triumphant cheer exited your mouth, eyes admiring the shine and sharpness of the blade like a bee eyeing a flower. 

“Children like you should not be wielding such dangerous objects.” Your muscles went limp, bones turning into uncooked noodles as your head spun to the direction of the voice. Father. Fear wasn’t just done with taking hold of your body. Fear was transmitted into the blade itself. Before you knew it, a sharp pain emitted through your forehead, a rush of warmness surging towards the area. The sword fell on your side, next to your collapsed body.

“Y/N!” Father was instantly by your side. Through that cold and emotionless facade, you could see a flash of worry and fear in her eyes. Fear. Father felt fear. Your head was placed in Father’s arms, knees hooked onto her other arm as you were rushed out of the dark room.

You sat on Father’s table in silence, fiddling with the sleeve of your shirt as you stared at your dirt covered, bruised hands. Father reciprocated the silence, as she stood in front of you, using a cotton ball to dab up the blood. You winced at the serum that was infused with the cotton against your fresh wound, knuckles turning white. Father didn’t let out any remark at your wince, rather you could feel her actions becoming more gentle and tender. 

“This might hurt.” Father muttered, picking up something from her tray of material, the object having a thin string tail behind. You could barely stifle a shriek as the needle penetrates your skin, the lithe object dancing from one side to another, piercing hole after hole in your skin. You gripped onto your sleeve for life until your hand was ghost white, as Father stitched up your wound before you could blink. Father let out a sigh, snipping any remaining string as she set the needle on the tray. Her eyes shifted downwards, her lips pursed as you felt her gaze burning into your skull.

“...I’m sorry.” You murmured quietly, the words regurgitating out of your mouth, unable to squeeze anything out under her gaze.

“I thought I told you that recklessness always leads to failure. What were you doing out of the playroom?”

“...” You could feel the corners of your eyes starting to burn up, your mouth quivering. Father noticed. Of course she did. 

“Look at me.” Father sighed. 

Reluctantly, you lifted your head, meeting Father’s eyes. Instead of scorn and disappointment, you were met with understanding and warmth, her pursed lips turning into a thin smile. Thin. Just like the ice you were on. Father could smile all she wanted, but you knew you were as good as dead.

Father’s hand went for your head, sharp fingers combing through your hair. “What type of toy do you like, Y/N? I am planning to get more for the toybox; it appears we have a shortage of toys. Of course, I would like to get the best and newest toys for all. I was wondering what you would like to see and play with.”

Your heart moved an inch higher from your stomach, still threatening to fall and combust into millions of pieces. “U-Uhm… I d-don’t know…”

“Speak up, my child.”

“I-I don’t know… what toys I like, Father…” 

Father let out a chuckle. “Of course. How could you choose your favorite in an empty box?”

You looked down at her words. Of course Father knew.

“Y/N.”

You looked back up at her, meeting her playful eyes, a look you knew she only gave you and you only. 

“How about I introduce you to some… new toys not any of the other children have seen? Would you like some new toys?”

“Toys… the others haven’t seen?” You tilt your head at that statement.

“Yes. Toys the others have not seen. Are you interested? I will personally teach you how to… play with these toys.”

You nodded your head, a small hesitant smile on your face. Father never offered the other children new toys. Father never offered how to play with toys. Father never played with the others.

The corners of Father’s thin lips tugged upwards slightly, as her finger hovered over your wound. She helped you off the desk, hand holding yours as she led you out of her office. “It is almost time for lunch. But I would rather you get some rest after what happened. Rest assured I will bring food to your room.”

“Y-Yes, Father.” You mumbled.

Father led you to your room upstairs, setting you on the plush mattress as the blanket was draped over your body. She ran her fingers through your hair again, petting your head before strolling out of the room. “Rest well, my child.”

~

Arlecchino closed the door, letting out a sigh. She made her way back downstairs to join the other children. “Rest assured, my child, no one will ever dare to lay a finger on you anymore. No harm shall ever come your way.”

[seresinhangmanjake]

Methods of Love and Trust

dad!Jake "Hangman" Seresin x female reader

Summary: For the first time, Jake is allowing his mother to babysit his children by herself. He's terribly nervous, but he promised you a date.

Warnings: implied smut. I think that's it, really.

Notes: this is a combination of two asks/comments from @rosiahills22 and @matisse556 for the Oh, Baby Series. I changed some tiny details, but I hope you guys like it :)

Words: 1755

---

"Jake," you quickly snapped, but your husband didn't tear his intense stare from the sight before him. He only hummed. A lame acknowledgment compared to what you were wanting from him. "Stop being weird and let's go."

You felt ridiculous, tugging at the cuff of Jake's sleeve the way your daughter did when leading him along on some adventure. She, however, was much more successful in her attempts. Thirty minutes had passed with you trying to guide your husband out the door, but his feet were planted, his stance sturdy, his eyes glued to your son in Eliza Seresin's arms. 

"I'm not being weird, I'm just–" he paused before his next word. Smart of him, you thought. You both knew the end of that sentence was nonsensical. I'm just watching, checking, making sure my mother doesn't kidnap or harm or neglect our children when our backs are turned. With the way he was acting, it seemed to be the only way that sentence could complete. 

"You're being silly, baby," you replied. "Stop looking at your mother like she has bad intentions. You’ve wanted her to move here permanently for years, remember? You were finally able to help her find a house she loves, so what's going on with you?"

Jake turned away from the window where his mother and children were in clear view in the backyard. "I know," he agreed. "And I do want her here. But alone, Honey? With our children? Their safety, their lives, in her hands?" He made a face and shook his head. "I'd like it better if Gram were here with her."

Your freshly painted fingernail scratched at the bow of your top lip before you crossed your arms. "Look, baby, I don't want to say that you sound unhinged exactly, but perhaps paranoid? Just a tad?"

"Honey…" was a little whine. 

"We knew the day would come when your mother would have to go solo. What happened to that trust you were working on?" You asked, and his shoulders instantly fell. Stepping toward him, you placed your palms flat on his chest and leaned in close. "And me? You promised me a date. Last I checked, that involved dinner and beach sex, and I've yet to receive either."

The mossy green of his irises flashed then darkened, and you grinned with pride. If anything could get his mind off his troubles it was the thought of rolling around with you in any position, in any location, at any time. And you enjoyed having that power. Though despite him being smart enough to keep his mouth shut about it, you knew it was rare that sex didn't also have him imagining a third little Seresin. A topic you'd been putting off, and would continue to do for as long as possible. 

"Jake, she is here to babysit so we can go have some fun of our own. Don't let me go unsatisfied," you said, throwing in a pout as your fingers fiddled with one of the buttons of his shirt.

"When have I ever left you unsatisfied?"

"Never, yet. So it would be a shame to break your winning streak, don't you think?"

—

"Baby, why are you stressed again? You were perfectly at ease twenty minutes ago," You said as you adjusted your bra strap and tucked it back under the cap sleeve of your dress.

Jake's hands were tight around the steering wheel, his eyes glued to the road.

"Twenty minutes ago I was balls deep inside of you. That tends to quell my stress, Honey. But my balls are back in my pants now and I have to remember that my mother is the only one protecting our babies at the moment."

Brushing the leftover sand off your knees, you snickered. "Protecting them from what?"

"Anything. Everything!"

You placed a hand atop his on the steering wheel, and the gentle touch encouraged his following deep breath. He released the right side of the wheel to intertwine your fingers, then brought your hand to his lips for a kiss.

"Jake, I know your mother wasn't much of a caregiver when it came to you," you continued, "but she wouldn't let anything happen to our children. After accepting her back into your life, she wouldn't let you down."

His lips parted then closed. They thinned from their tight pressing together before he expelled a long sigh. "Not intentionally…but I know."

With a smile, you pulled his hand into your lap and let your index finger trace along one of the veins showing under his tanned skin. You caught a few tiny rough grains when you made it to his wrist. 

"You're still sandy," you said. 

"Pretty sure my fly is still undone, too."

You chuckled as Jake pulled into the driveway of your home. 

A wave of relief washed over you when you noticed his subtle grin. You were proud of him on your date. He’d set his concerns aside so you could give one another the long-awaited and well-deserved attention you’d both been craving since your son was born. And you’d definitely had your fun. But more than that, despite his anxiety, you'd managed to calm him during your short drive home, which meant he hopefully wouldn’t be charging in head-first on the hunt for his mother's mistakes. With luck, he'd simply thank her, check on his children in their beds, and call it a night.

"Well, zip up mister, so we can go see our babies."

—

The house was silent as you walked through the door and kicked off your heels; almost seeming uninhabited if not for the lone light emanating from the living room that was just out of sight. The low glow reflected off the creamy color of your walls, making it easy to find your way down the main corridor. 

“So?” Eliza asked, setting her book aside. “How was your date?”

You didn’t glance behind you when you sensed luck was not on your side. Without a doubt, Jake was scanning the area. For messes? No. His mother was practically pristine. For a droplet of blood or two from a minor injury? Unlikely. Surely you’d be greeted with the sobbing of your children. Nevertheless, you let him look around. If it meant realizing he was proven wrong then it was worth holding back the minor scolding. 

“Great, thank you,” you replied. “Needed.”

“I’m sure.” 

Her eyes flicked over your shoulder to her son, her hands starting to awkwardly fiddle in front of her. 

“Eve isn’t in bed,” Jake finally said. He moved over to the couch where your daughter was passed out on her stomach, a small mark of drool dampening the cushion. Sitting beside her, he brushed her blonde curls back out of her face. 

“Um…no,” Eliza began. “She wanted to wait up for you and since it’s a Friday I figured it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Poor thing said Mama and Daddy always kiss her goodnight. She got that adorable pout on her face and crossed her arms and refused to move from that spot, but she was exhausted. The Little Man is tucked away though. Went down very easy.”

“Well, I appreciate you doing this, Eliza,” you said. “I know there’s a lot of energy to wear out.”

She waved a hand. “I’m always happy to watch my grandbabies.”

A few beats of tension-filled silence passed, you standing across from your mother-in-law while Jake continued to rub Eve’s back. You thanked her once more and she nodded before heading for the door. When her back was to you, you nudged Jake in the shin with the tip of your toe. 

As if expecting it, he looked up at you with an expression that could only be described as mildly irritated with a healthy dose of pleading in his stare, but you didn’t let him off the hook. Your head nodded toward his mother as she reached for her purse. 

Jake sighed and stood. “Mom,” he called. Eliza turned. Her nerves were not so easily concealed. “Thank you. Truly.”

The smile that slowly formed on her face was beautifully genuine. The wideness of her lips and natural narrowing of her eyes from the act deepened the wrinkles in her aged face, but they were hardly noticeable compared to the radiance emitting. 

“Any time, sweetheart,” she said. “Really.” Then she was gone. 

Jake twisted on his heel, eyes meeting yours. “Fine. You were right.”

“Baby,” you chuckled as you wrapped your arms around his waist. “I know it’s hard.”

He accepted your hug, pulling you further into him and pressing a kiss to your forehead. “You and our babies are the best thing that ever happened to me, Honey,” was a whisper against your skin. “Entrusting someone else with two-thirds of that is like leaving a couple of limbs behind when I walk out the door.”

You understood that feeling all too well. However, relying on others’ help after you’d had Eve without Jake by your side allowed you to adapt much quicker than him. You wouldn’t ever deny the little twist to your gut whenever you were without Jake or your children, but while acknowledging what your husband was experiencing, you learned to be the strong one. For him and the kids. 

Your bodies suddenly began to sway, back and forth to the deep humming of an unrecognizable tune; or what you thought was unrecognizable until the stringing together of a few known notes. The song you danced to the day you were married.

“You’re a sap, Jake Seresin.”

“You knew that when you married me.”

The agreement was on your tongue but a sleep-laced “Daddy” interrupted before the words could pass your lips. Eve was sitting up on the couch, both fists rubbing at her eyes, a yawn contorting the other dainty features of her face. 

When Jake moved out of your arms to lift Eve up in his, her head fell on his chest. Her mouth parted the slightest, her eyes remained closed, and when Jake said “Dance with me and Mama, baby girl,” you knew she was already back asleep. 

He returned to you and snuck the arm not holding Eve to his side back around your waist. You did the same. One around his hip, the other snuggling your daughter even closer. 

“I love you, Honey,” Jake whispered as the three of you continued your gentle swaying. 

“I love you, Jake,” you replied. 

Then the humming resumed to fill the small cocoon of space.

---

tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @novagreen04 @multifandomlover4life @mayhemmanaged @memeorydotcom @ryiamarie

[jisunghannie]

Loser 5 & Loser 6

PAIRING: Jisung x fem!reader x Minho

WARNINGS: Swearing, whiny Jisung, horny Jisung and Minho, unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (fem receiving), poly, use of pet names (baby, darling, jagi/jagiya, etc), light praise (fem receiving), Jisung and reader kissing, Minho and reader kissing, trading spots/taking turns

SUMMARY: Due to busy work schedules you haven’t been able to see Jisung and Minho. Also leading to not being able to help them with their stupid challenge. After seeing them for the first time after a few days to a week. This led to a very passionate night of pleasure for the three of you.

WORD COUNT: 1,955

A/N:

This is not proofread! I’m so sorry I've been holding out on this series. I've been in the works of angsty pieces rather than smut but I plan to finish this series soon!! Also, apologies if there are grammar mistakes or anything, I hope you guys enjoy this piece! Go check out sneak peeks on my other account @mr-hanjisung !

DDD Masterlist

You were incredibly exhausted. You worked all day and all night. All day at work and all day in bed trying to please both your needy boyfriends. You've been more tired because of work recently though. You were at your office a lot recently. Working grueling hours with overtime that you would pass out the minute you got home. You wondered how your boyfriends would get off from the stupid challenge they were participating in.

Today was the start of your overtime being over. When you got home, you realized that Jisung and Minho weren't home. When you stepped in, all four pets awaited at the door, Soonie, Doongie, Dori, and Bbama.

You smiled and reached down to pet them all. “Where are your dads?” You asked as you refilled their food with your lunch leftovers and water. You went to shower and cook dinner. When you had finished your children surrounded you in the kitchen. You smiled and took each of them to the living room. You put on your favorite show and watched it with them.

You had fun being at home with them but it felt so empty. You missed them so much. You then washed the dishes and when you finished and dried your hands you felt big arms wrap around your waist. You turned to feel Jisung on your shoulder. “I missed seeing you around jagi…” He said as you smiled. “I missed you too Ji.” You told him kissing his cheek as Minho frowned. “I missed you too ya know.” You laughed as you walked over to him and kissed his cheek. “Miss you too Min.” You told him as he sighed and hugged you tightly, your face eating up his chest as you felt Jisung hug you from behind.

“God I forgot how clingy you guys are.” You said joking as they chuckled. “I cooked food.” You said as Jisung nodded, “Thank you but we already ate.” He said, “Can we have dessert?” He asked as you shrugged your shoulders. “I don't think we have any.” You told him as he smirked. “Oh innocent angel.” Minho said as Jisung held onto your hips, grinding against you lightly. “We want to eat you for dessert.” Jisung said as you blushed. “I just got back from being away and that's what you want-” You were cut off by Minho's kiss. “Please jagi..?” Minho asked, his tone too damn irresistible to deny. “Fine… but you guys are only eating me out because I'm tired.” You said as they nodded.

What a mistake that was.

Once you had agreed Minho picked you up and placed you on the counter, kissing you and stripped you down as Jisung watched. He looked a little upset because Jisung loved watching you squirm while taking off your clothes. However, Minho was being so needy and was just practically ripping off your clothes. You noticed Jisung standing and waved him to come closer. When he did, you pulled away from Minho and kissed Jisung as Minho kissed your neck and right shoulder.

You then smiled as they took you to your shared bedroom. They kept it surprisingly clean despite having all the children run wild and being at home. I guess they were good while you were away.

“Who's going first?” You asked as Jisung looked at you, then at Minho, then the floor. Minho could take a hint as Jisung was kind of new to this whole “sharing” thing. “Jisung, can go first.” He said as Jisung looked over to Minho. “Are you sure?” He asked as Minho nodded. Jisung smiled and walked over to you. He then positioned you to lay your back on a pillow as he opened your legs. You covered your core because for some reason you felt so shy. You haven't been in the position in a while. He licked your fingers covering your core. “Why cover just a pretty view?” He said as he pushed your fingers in as you let out a breathy moan causing him to smile. “You sound so pretty.” He praised as Minho took off his pants and began to please himself while watching you guys.

You gave up and uncovered yourself as he smiled and kissed your core gently. “I’ve missed this sight.” He said as you squirmed, feeling his tongue swirling around your clit. You tugged on his hair signaling you were close, then he pulled away. Feeling your pleasure slip away, you felt upset. “Ji~ why would you do that?” You whined as Minho crawled over. “I wanna eat too ya know?” He said as you felt Jisung lift up your back, now laying on his bare chest.

You squirmed at the skin to skin contact as Minho held your thighs kissing and leaving marks on them. You held onto Jisung's wrists as he kissed your neck.

“Need more Min…” You begged as he chuckled. “I hear you baby.” He said kissing your thighs once more and inserting his fingers causing you to squeeze Jisung's wrists even tighter. “She's so tight Ji.” Minho said as Jisung chuckled. “Of course she is. It's been a while. Gotta get her used to it.” He said as Minho began to thrust his fingers faster while having a dirty conversation with Jisung acting as if he wasn't fingering you.

You felt close as you squeezed Jisung's wrists and Jisung signaled to Minho who went even faster causing you to moan. Jisung kissed your neck as he praised you for how beautiful you sounded as you came on Minho's fingers.

“Wow, this is a sight for sore eyes.” Minho said, licking his fingers clean. As he looked at Jisung. “You wanna lick her clean Ji?” He asked him as Jisung nodded, switching places with him. As he licked you clean you realized about the challenge they participated in. “What about your challenge?” You asked as they shrugged. “We might just give up. We've barely been making our days without you.” Jisung said as he licked his lips. Minho traced circles around on your back. “Unless you wanna help us try and win?” Minho teased as you nodded. “If it's what you want I can.” You told them as Jisung chucked. “You sure that's what you want?” Minho asked as you nodded. “Positive.” You said.

Which was again, another mistake.

Minho aligned himself to your entrance as your breath hitched. You were actually scared if he would still fit. Jisung pulled your head to his face. “My eyes are here darling.” He said as Minho pushed himself inside. You moaned as Jisung pulled you into a kiss. “She's so tight Ji.” He said as Jisung nodded as he continued to kiss you.

You felt so stimulated and it felt like you were experiencing it for the first time again. You then felt Minho hit one of your good spots and moaned, your head moving back lightly separating you and Jisung for a moment as Minho kept hitting that spot making you go crazy.

“Min..!” You moaned out as he kept hammering away at that one spot. He was hitting the right spot over and over. At this rate you were-

“Going to… cum… fuck..!” Minho said as he released inside you as you came around him. He pulled you in for a kiss as he slowly pulled out causing you to feel empty again. Jisung and Minho then swapped places again.

“Minho, you can't clean up well can you?” He asked as he inserted two of his fingers inside and scooped out Minho's cum causing you to tighten around his fingers because you were still sensitive. “Hmm… you like that jagi?” Jisung asked as you nodded. “I need words…” He teased as you whined. “Well..?” Minho asked, “Answer him.” He ordered. “Yes… I like it… I like it so much…” You said as Minho kissed you. “Good girl.” He said as Jisung continued to clean you up. Jisung then curled his fingers to get the last bits out as you came around his fingers.

“My god jagi, you must've really liked his fingers if it made you climax that fast after me.” Minho teased as your head was drawing blanks. “I'm gonna slowly push it in and then you can let me know when to move.” Jisung said as you shook your head. “I wanna move…” You told him as he looked at you surprised. “A-Alright then…” He said as he laid back. You straddled him and slowly went down. His breath hitched as he watched you go down.

You sat for a minute as you placed your hands on his chest. You then felt Minho's lips on your shoulder, moving your hair to the side to kiss and mark your body. You then began to move on Jisung slowly causing his hands to move to your hips immediately.

You didn't know if it was because you were moving so slow or because Jisung was thicker in size but he was hitting all the right spots.

“Jagi…” Jisung whined as he began to get greedy and move himself causing Minho to hold down Jisung's wrists. “Easy there, let her do it and enjoy the view.” He said as Jisung reached to your breasts and played with them, getting moans from you.

Eventually you began to move faster and Jisung couldn't hold himself back anymore as he thrusted upwards, creating the loud slapping noises from the skin to skin contact. Minho smirked as he whispered in your ear. “See how crazy you've made us by making us wait to feel how good you are?”

You were losing your mind as you hugged Jisung close, moaning and whining in his ear. “Fuck… I'm so close… so close…” He said as his thrusts got sloppier. You couldn't take it anymore and once you came, you immediately passed out from the euphoric sensation.

A few minutes, they realized you had passed out and Jisung pulled out. Minho got clothes for the three of you along with setting up a bath. Jisung took you to the bath and both of them cleaned you up and washed your body and hair gently to make sure not to wake you.

When they got out, they checked the time despite knowing that they had lost. It was 12:17 am. They had only cum 25 times within the whole day which was still pretty impressive given that within the past week they haven't gotten help from you.

“Should we just lie?” Jisung offered as an option as Minho looked at him and then at you. “Is that what y/n would want?” He asked as Jisung shrugged. “We had good sex for the first time in a while wouldn’t you agree?” Jisung said tucking your hair behind your ear watching your sleeping figure. Minho nodded as he kissed your cheek and then Jisung’s head. “So what do we do?” He asked as Jisung ran his hands through his hair.

Hannie: Me and Minho forfeit :P

LK: Yeah

Chan: I guess it’s between Hyunjin and Jeongin

Jinnie: I’m so winning

Minnie: Easy, our little Maknae is competitive too

Yongbokkie: I thought it would be tied and Jisung and Minho would win

LK: Guess not

Binnie: God you guys are blowing up my phone just sleep

I.Nnie: I just finished cleaning up from my rounds, me and my girlfriend cuddled for last 20 minutes before 12

Jinnie: I finished at 10 pm already

Hannie: Gross no one needs to know horny fuck

Minnie: But it’s not gross to update that you forfeit?

Jinnie: Oops, guess the girls are texting in their group chat because mine just told me that we are being annoying

Chan: I agree, now sleep.

Taglist:

@juskz @annybah @its-hannjisung @cutiespaghetti

[jp---v]

Chapter 421

I said it before and I'll say it again, most of you are running on fumes and the rest of you are severely injured. Not to mention being children fighting in a war. I don't think you're gonna be all that helpful here

Badass group shot though

Way to go Cellophane. Way to stay perfectly calm

Double Flashfire Fist(although each one is probably way weaker individually than they normally would be.)

Midoriya, you're half dead and your arms are still growing back! OfA is just another nail in the coffin at this point

I don't blame Aizawa for being concerned. This whole time people have been say how One for All is the only hope against All for One, but Midoriya never even got past 50% without hurting himself and now he's just using leftovers at the absolute final battle without any of the extra quirks and the utility they offered

Very quick bandages to literally hold him together.

Of course he happens to know the exact brand and series of fucking All Might merch

I feel so bad for Gran Torino right now. Like, he lost Nana, almost lost Yagi, almost lost Yagi again in Kamino, almost lost a quirkless Yagi for the third time literally earlier today, and now Midoriya's charging headfirst into battle against the same enemy while he's in a hospital bed unable to do anything

I hope Eri's ok too

[theladyofbloodshed]

It's been an age since I read the series, but I do think Rhys was intended to be one of the villains for the trilogy:

SJM scrapped her original plan for ACOMAF and wrote the current one. ACOMAF is touted as a hades x persephone retelling but it isn't really that at all. On her second (?) visit she decides to stay.

Rhys very much is the villain in book one but the end scene when they talk and the bond snaps was a different tone entirely - which makes me think it was a last minute edit to set up the new sequel

There are no mentions to Illyrians in ACOTAR - despite later finding out they did serve alongside Amarantha and were executed for it - the attor is the only one described as having leathery wings

There are also no mentions to Darkbringers who did also serve

Why would they serve Rhys if they hate him? It's explained as them being SO evil that they revel in Amarantha's punishment, but they would still need to follow his orders so it makes no sense that they would listen to him when they could bypass Rhys and bend the knee to her

It is retconned that with his single drop of leftover magic, he is able to shield Velaris and remove Amren, Mor, Cassian and Azriel from the memories of every single person in Prythian - which includes Mor's family, every Illyrian, the Vanserras, and Tamlin (in book 2, Tamlin and Lucien comfirm they know Cass & Az, Eris was engaged to Mor, Lucien calls Amren a scary story they tell children, the CoN apparently knows about Velaris) If Rhys wasn't the originally intended villain then...

Why does the king of Hybern who trained Amarantha - she uses his book of spells - do nothing for fifty years? The Suriel states that a hundred years earlier he sends spies to Prythian but Amarantha betrays him and traps the high lords and he then just chills

Why does he wait until the high lords are back to full strength to start a war to take over Prythian? He had fifty years to take over prythian when all of the high lords except one were trapped - but what? He was too scared of Amarantha? He needed an extra 8 months to launch his war?

Amarantha is his student so it stands to reason that he is stronger than her and could quite easily take over her coup with the army that was seemingly ready to go at any time. There's even a part in acotar where one creature questions the attor over whether amarantha thinks she's above the king. It's also stated that her revenge on jurian cost him the war because she didn't march with her section of the army, but he's benevolent enough to let her rule for 50 years

Hybern is made out to be this ghoulish country where they're all evil (just like Illyria and the Hewn City) with no variance amongst the people; they're all warriors too, clearly no children or farmers or smiths or matronly women. They're all nameless and faceless cannon fodder. There is no concern for the state of post-war Hybern or who rules in the king's stead, for the orphans and windows. It is underdeveloped as is the nameless king who is foolish enough to try and take over prythian only *after* its high lords have all had their power restored and are fortifying their courts

[abybweisse]

Blood Work (p1), Elitism, transmutation, and religious fear

⚠️ long post ⚠️

So, I now have a copy of Blood Work: A Tale of Medicine and Murder in the Scientific Revolution, by Holly Tucker. It's a reference for Yana-san, as she mentioned it in her old tuna.be blog around the start of the blue arc.

I see in the list of important people a mention of the real Dr. Moreau, and there's a later chapter about chimeras... so I know I'll be talking about that some, over this series of posts.

It's important here, too, because when researchers were first attempting blood transfusions in the 17th century, people were terrified about receiving blood from animals, like sheep and cattle. They thought that animal blood would transmute humans into human-animal hybrids. Even in the 20th century, some white people were terrified of receiving blood from black people, because they thought the blood could effect the race of their future children or grandchildren. Nonsense, of course, but they didn't understand.

17th century blood transfusions were generally performed by taking blood from a lamb or a calf. The barbers/physicians/researchers had no clue about blood types. Jean-Baptiste Denis successfully transfused blood from a lamb into a teenage patient. Then he made several successful attempts at transfusing from a calf to a "madman". The guy later died, and Denis was blamed. Turns out some doctors who didn't want him to succeed had actually poisoned that second subject with arsenic.

It wasn't even a matter of those physicians wanting his experiments to fail while theirs worked; no, they simply didn't want blood transfusions to become a practice. They were afraid of transmutation from animal blood, and they were afraid of what animal-to-human blood transfusions would reveal about humanity -- that we are truly just animals, too. The trial against Denis ended research into blood transfusions for about 150 years.

Blood types were still unknown in the late 18th century, when a physician wanted to attempt to revive George Washington's largely exsanguinated corpse with a transfusion of lamb's blood. FYI, he died on a December 14th, just like Prince Albert. His family refused the offer only because they feared sullying his body with animal blood, and they insisted his body must be left untainted and wholly together for him to be properly received into heaven. Such was the continued lack of understanding. Yana-san might have given Undertaker the idea to use blood transfusions in conjunction with other techniques for the reanimating and revival process from the account of what that physician wanted to do to Washington.

When blood transfusion research was in full swing, in the 19th century, they were starting to piece together the idea of blood groups, but they still didn't quite know about things like universal whole blood donor and universal whole blood recipient. There was a strong elitist element to this, so they generally thought like could only be compatible with like. They also still saw non-human blood as inferior, even if it might be compatible. The best compatibility was expected between twins and then between close relatives.

I have a feeling that Yana-san has played around with this bias, which would explain why real Ciel is only receiving AB (Sirius) blood, Canopus B, Vega O, and Polaris A. All those people at Sphere Music Hall are led to believe they are being treated as equals, when they are in fact being split up into a caste system where some "stars" are of a higher magnitude than others. And, at times, Blavat Sky and others have made it clear they see some blood types as being less worthy than others. By extension, some people are treated as less worthy. Blavat seems to realize that Sirius can receive blood from other blood types, because he gives "leftovers" of Vega and Polaris blood to the Sirius renal patients. It's possible that real Ciel doesn't know he can have any type of whole blood, but I suspect he knows and simply doesn't think anything else is good enough for him.

I'd also like to mention Snake and Finny here, since we know Finny was injected with something to increase his strength and other traits. Then we see Snake with various attributes that are associated with snakes. In either case (or both) we could be dealing with transmutation. It's not realistic in our world, but it might very well be possible in theirs. Each of them might have been injected with chemical cocktails derived from other animals: Snake from snakes and Finny from perhaps a few completely different species.

We now know Snake wasn't born a snake and turned into a human, but there's nothing to say he wasn't born human and "adulterated" with snake traits. There's also the weird story the freak show attendant claims: human mother and snake father. Maybe not an actual snake as his father but more like his mother being injected with snake blood or something... and that producing a hybrid child. Again, not what we'd consider possible, but the Kuroverse plays by different rules.

One other aspect I want to touch on in this post: Othello's and Grelle's fears regarding the very nature of human souls and existence. This is a form of religious fear, not too different from what George Washington's family feared. His family feared he wouldn't be accepted into heaven, while these two reapers fear humans might no longer even need souls, and that heaven may no longer matter to them. What would that mean for the existence of reapers, when their supposed salvation requires them to keep collecting souls?

Well, I'll probably talk about bias and fear again, as well as these other issues, but I'll stop here... for now.

[roxygen22]

Brownie

"My Little Cocoa Bean" series

Summary: A stray pup finds his fur-ever home with the Wonka family. Ben/Bean is 7, and Charlotte/Charlie is 3.

<><><><><>

If the weekend weather was favorable, the Wonka family could be found in the park. Today was no exception. The four of you were walking down a gravel pathway, Willy walking backward so he could talk to you, Ben, and Charlotte about his latest invention. Ever the animated talker, he was using his hands and jumping around until a shrill yelp startled him as he stepped down near a bush.

"Did that bush just...yelp?" you asked curiously and held the children back from investigating. Willy got down on all fours to peer under the limbs. There, he spied a little brown furball cowering by the trunk.

"Well, hello there, little fella. Did I accidentally step on your tail? I'm sorry," he cooed. Willy reached into the bush and pulled a trembling puppy to his chest. He sat back on his feet so the family could see and was instantly crowded by Ben and Charlotte, who wanted a better look at the tiny animal.

"A puppy!" Charlotte cheered. You chided her to lower her voice so as to not frighten him further.

"Can we keep him?" Ben pleaded as he scratched under the pup's chin.

Willy didn't say anything, but he looked up at you with the same doe eyes and pouty lip as your children. Real helpful, dear, you thought.

"We really ought to make sure he doesn't belong to someone else first. But we can keep him safe in the meantime," you replied. "When we get back to town, we'll put up a notice in the square for a week. If nobody comes for him, then he can stay with us for good."

Willy stood and handed the pup to you, and of course you fell in love immediately, especially when he snuggled up to your chest. While you had to put up a responsible front, you secretly hoped that nobody would claim him. He was adorable, with one flopped ear and patches of white on his chest and feet. He looked like he had been dipped in chocolate - a perfect fit for your family.

You all took turns holding the puppy on your route home, first making a detour by the bulletin board in the downtown square. He scurried under the sofa when you first arrived at the house but quickly warmed up to Ben and Charlotte. He even licked the girl's face when she hung down from the couch to peer underneath. Her giggles eventually drew him out to play. The kids took great delight in watching him explore the house.

"I think we should name him..." Ben started to say. You quickly interrupted.

"No, no names until he's officially ours. Otherwise, you'll get attached." Too late, you thought to yourself. You knelt down to make eye contact with both of your children. "Now, I need you to understand that taking care of an animal is a big responsibility. He's more than just a toy to play with. He will be completely dependent on us for food, water, and clean bedding. The two of you will have to pick up after him, even if he's only with us for a little while."

"Charlie and I can handle it!" Ben piped up.

"Yeah!" Charlotte agreed.

"Great. I'm going to hold you to that. Now, let's see what we can find for him to eat." You stood and walked to the kitchen. You looked through the cabinets and refrigerator before deciding to mash up last night's leftovers and soften it up with some milk. The pup scarfed it down like he hadn't eaten in days. This brought on a new burst of energy, so the children took him outside to run off his zoomies (and theirs).

Willy made lunch while you kept an eye on the trio and joined in on their game of chase. He called you all in once the food was ready. The pup quickly learned that Charlotte was the one most likely to drop crumbs, both intentionally and unintentionally, so he settled beneath her chair. You were amazed when there was nothing to sweep up after the meal was done.

The kids took the puppy to the playroom while you and Willy cleaned up the kitchen and washed the dishes. You heard giggling, talking, and sounds of toys clanking for a little bit, but then everything grew quiet. You looked over at Willy who had picked up on it, too. It wasn't unusual for Ben to be quiet. But Charlotte? Both of you were wary. Willy smirked. "Go check it out. I'll finish up here," he said.

You dried your hands and made your way to the playroom. You put your ear to the door but still heard nothing. You quietly opened it and drew on all your strength not to squeal over the cuteness.

Ben was leaning against the wall asleep, head lolled to the side. Charlotte looked like she passed out on the rug mid-play. The puppy was laying on his belly between the two of them, eyes closed and all four legs stretched out in a sploot. It was a precious sight.

Willy came up behind you, set a hand on your hip and his chin on your head. He took in the scene and quietly chuckled. "They sat still too long," he whispered. The pup's ears twitched at his voice, but sensing no threat, he quickly dozed back off. You gently pulled the door to so they could continue to nap in peace.

Ben awoke before Charlotte about half an hour later and snuck out of the playroom with the puppy. He found you and Willy in the study.

"Hey, Bean. Sleep well?" Willy looked up from his newspaper and teased. Ben narrowed his eyes at his father in jest before turning his focus back to the puppy in his arms. He had declared years earlier that he was too old for naps now.

"Can you take the pup outside so he can stretch and take care of business?" you asked. He nodded and made his way to the back door. With the fenced-in back yard, you were comfortable letting your son learn responsibility and take care of this task on his own.

Then you heard Charlotte cry. Willy was up and out of the room before you could even react. His long legs made quicker work of getting across the house anyway.

Willy opened the playroom door to find Charlotte sitting up on the rug. She looked disoriented, looking around wildly with her tangled hair and tear-streaked face. Willy sat down beside the girl and scooped her up into his lap.

"Shhh, baby girl. I've got you. What's wrong?" he asked while rocking her.

Sobs wracked her tiny body. "The puppy is gone! Someone t-took h-him h-home!"

"Oh, no, Charlie. He's just outside with your brother. He woke up before you."

"Pwomise?"

"I pinky promise. And that's the most solemn vow there is!" He held up his pinky for Charlotte to link with hers, then kissed her on the head. "Come on, I'll take you outside to show you."

Willy reappeared briefly in the study with Charlotte on his hip. She laid her forehead in the crook of his neck and occasionally took shuddered breath as she calmed down. "I'm going to take her outside to see the puppy."

Ah, she must have been upset about the dog. She will be devastated if someone does claim him. But doing what is right isn't always easy, you reminded yourself. Soon, you heard the girl's cheerful laughter ringing throughout the yard. All was right in her world again.

The rest of the evening was uneventful. You started dinner and called your family inside when the food was ready. The dog took up his previous station under Charlotte's chair, but this time you also provided him with his own bowls of food and water on the floor.

"I'll stop by the store on my way home tomorrow for some supplies and food for him," Willy offered. "I'll also ask around if anyone is missing a pup." Ben and Charlotte both pouted. You and Willy exchanged knowing looks.

The family finished up dinner in relative silence and set about their nightly routines to get ready for bed.

"Where will he sleep tonight?" Ben asked as he rubbed the pup's belly.

"We'll set up a box for him in the kitchen with a warm blanket," you replied.

"The kitchen?" Willy asked.

"Well, yes. That way if he makes a mess it's easier to clean up. Why?"

"No, that makes sense. I...I just think he may get a little lonely is all."

"I think some separation will be good so we don't get too attached. Not yet," you replied, mainly for your own benefit.

Willy kissed you on the forehead. "Always the voice of reason. Alright kids, time to brush teeth and go to bed. Bean, you get to pick the story tonight." His voice faded as he herded the children down the hallway.

You dug out a wooden crate out of the storage room and placed a cozy blanket inside. You picked up the pup, gave him a snuggle and a good scratch behind the ears, and laid him in the crate. You gently pet him on the head until his eyes closed, then off you went to bed.

A couple of hours later, you were awakened by pitiful whimpering. You laid in bed for a few moments in hopes that the puppy would settle on his own, but you had no such luck. You grumbled as you sat up. *Just like taking care of a baby again.*

You put on your robe and tiptoed to the kitchen so as to not wake the others. Upon turning on the light, you saw the pup looking up at you, wagging his tail and whining.

"Hey there. What's all this about, hmm?" Gently you picked him up and he licked your face in return. You suspected he was just lonesome, but you went through a mental list of all his other potential needs as well. First was a trip outside in case he needed to potty. He romped around and barked, bowing at you to get you to play.

You tsked at him. "Shh, no, this is not time for play. Go take care of your business." The pup conceded, though he got distracted a few times by sniffing around the yard. You brought him back inside and set him up with a little more soft food and water in the crate. After a few reassuring pets, you stood to exit the kitchen and go back to bed.

He instantly took up whimpering again.

"Now, now, shhh. Let's not wake the family." You sat back down by the crate and encouraged him to lay down, fluffing up the blanket around him. You got back up once you thought he was settled again, just to be rewarded with more whimpering. So you sat down again with a huff.

<about three hours later>

Willy shuffled into the kitchen in his pajamas when he discovered you were no longer in bed. He stifled a laugh when he found you in a similar state to your son earlier in the playroom.

You had fallen asleep sitting up against the kitchen cabinet beside the crate with your head lolled to the side. The puppy was asleep, too...

...in your lap.

"Separation, huh?" he playfully mocked. "She's going to be sore in the morning if she stays like that," he muttered to himself. He knelt down and gently shook your shoulder.

"Hey, my sweet. Wake up."

You blinked and squinted in response to the kitchen light you had left on. You looked around then down in your lap at the sleeping furball. You realized you caved and coddled him out of desperation.

"He finally fell asleep. The poor dear was whimpering pitifully. I gave him food and water, even let him outside, but he would whine anytime I stood to leave. You were right. He got lonely."

"He might just be sad that dogs can't have chocolate," Willy said with a deadpan face and serious tone. You cut your eyes at him and tried to act surly, as this was no time to joke, but you couldn't help but laugh softly. He broke out into a childish grin.

"I've never slept well on the first night in a new place," he continued. "Especially if it was too quiet. There was always background noise on the ship." You could tell an idea struck him when his face lit up. "I'll be right back!"

Willy scurried out of the room and returned just as quickly with a wind-up clock in hand. "I read about this once," he said with hushed excitement as he sat down in front of you and the crate. "You place it near their bed at night to comfort them. The rhythm reminds them of...of their mother's heartbeat." His excitement dimmed as he looked down at the pup, though you knew his thoughts were elsewhere. You leaned forward to squeeze his hand.

"Do you think we should bring his crate to our room?" you asked hesitantly after a few moments.

Willy nodded fervently. "He is just a baby, after all. We kept our other babies close at first."

"Willy. He's not a *human* baby. And he's not ours. Not yet."

"Maybe not. But will it hurt to treat him like family while he's here?" he asked with a pout.

"It may hurt us later if he has to leave."

"True, but we will cross that bridge if it gets here. Make the most of now. Besides, you risk closing yourself off from the world entirely if you avoid attachments to anyone or anything that may leave."

"So wise at two in the morning," you chuckled and shook your head.

"I have my moments." He smiled as he carefully picked the puppy up from your lap and offered his hand to help you up. You picked up the crate and clock and returned to your room. You sank into your bed with a sigh as Willy got the pup settled in the crate on his side. Ever the doting father, you thought happily. Soon, everyone was asleep again.

The days went by and you only received one inquiry about the pup. Sadly for them, the description of their missing dog didn't match, but it was difficult to keep the joy out of your voice. He quickly became embedded in your daily routine, as if he had been part of the family all along. He was Charlotte's shadow by day and Ben's in the evening when he returned home. Once the children went to bed, he would lay his head on your lap as you and Willy cozied up by the fire. You counted down the days until you could claim the pup. It would break your heart to see him go now, especially now that he was letting you sleep through the night again.

<one week after the walk in the park>

You and Willy called the children to the study. "Alright, kids. The puppy is officially ours! Now we can name him," you announced excitedly. Ben and Charlotte jumped up and down while the pup bounced around and barked.

"Anything but Tiddles, please," Willy supplied.

"Well, I think he looks like he's dipped in chocolate, but Fondue just doesn't sound right," you replied. "Maybe Biscuit, like the storybooks?"

"What about Brownie?" Ben asked and looked around at everyone. The puppy barked. "I think he likes it!"

"Bwowneeeeeee!" Charlotte squealed.

"That has a nice ring to it," Willy agreed as he pulled a collar out of his pocket and placed it around the puppy's neck. "Welcome to the family, Brownie!"

<><><><><>

Masterlist

[vanillabourbon]

the first of many. | chapter one | ongoing tlou series

story summary. joel arrives at Jackson twenty years after the outbreak with a young girl that cares for him just as much as he cares for her. little did he know, he would soon meet someone else that would urge his returning sense of humanity one step further.

chapter one warnings. i'm starting to realize this is going to be a slowburn, sorry friends.

story pairings. joel miller x reader, tommy miller x platonic!reader

words. 7873

-

Chapter One. The Prodigal Son.

Jackson, Wyoming. 2023.

It was a brutal winter. Jackson sat in a valley, leaving many, including you, to assume the brute of every storm would pass without much consequence. Of course, this once, you were wrong.

The nights were cold. Sometimes the following night was even colder. The indoors weren’t so bad, but you couldn’t help but to think of the bitter, chilly air while lying alone – awake for an unknown number of hours – in your bedroom. Every creak and groan of the house you took refuge in had long since gone silent whenever the wind died down at this hour. If solitude had a brink, you were sure this would be it.

The only noise you heard was the incessant ticking of the grandfather clock somewhere in the hallway. It was loud, repetitive to a fault, and the last thing you wanted to hear when another sleepless night led to the start of your patrol week. Every slow blink of your heavy eyelids only interrupted the path your eyes traced along the speckled ceiling above you. Every tick reminding you of all the times you forgot to ask Tommy to help you remove the clock from your house instead of spending your nights wondering who lived here before you.

Before the outbreak. Before the world fell to pieces.

The ticking was never the only noise. Not for long, of course. Jackson was stirring awake. Front doors were shutting and little children were already laughing. Despite the cold, despite the frostbitten fingers and cracked lips, despite the outside world staving off infected, every child-like sound and rumble of snow removal felt mind-numbingly similar to a world you’d almost forgotten. 

Or maybe a world you wanted to forget. Even now you still couldn't decide.

Your thoughts were on repeat, just like the clock. And yet the clock was still louder. Much louder. Every second passed was excruciating. You willed yourself to be thoughtless. Every night you fought to quiet your mind … to no avail. Without the need or constant threat of surviving another day, there was nothing to displace a constant line of thinking that never failed to bring about a quiet discontent.

Eventually, you noticed the rhythm of the clock’s ticking coincided with every tap of your finger against your bed frame. Your back dug into the mattress, pressing yourself deeper and deeper into it as if your bed would swallow you whole. You ignored the sudden sounds of boots climbing up the stairs of your front porch as you forced yourself to stop tapping.

A well-timed, and fully expected, knock at your door did nothing to draw your gaze from the ceiling. Not at first. You knew who was on the other side of that door, and you also knew you didn’t want to hear a thing from Maria about being late to patrol. It was either bite the bullet now or later.

With a soft grunt, you chose now.

You hoisted yourself out of bed and ambled over to your opened closet. While you made quick work of changing your clothes, another round of sharp knocks – thump, thump, thump – echoed throughout your house. Insistent. Unrelenting. But still substantially polite.

Only Tommy, you thought. Only Tommy.

–

Before making your way to the front door, you slipped into the kitchen and grabbed a leftover apple you snagged from the dining hall. Strictly for appearances. You wanted to seem like you’d just awoken, that you’d started having a light breakfast before patrol. You weren’t unaware of Tommy’s ability to appear more oblivious than he actually was.

He’d notice. He always did.

You opened the door shortly after his fifth knock. The two of you made eye contact, already very much aware of the other’s intentions.

“I wasn’t going to miss check-in,” you stated, taking a pointed bite out of your apple. “I was just getting ready. Thinking about some new patrol routes to run by Colby before we leave.”

Colby, your patrol partner and ever the golden boy. No one thought twice of your word when you mentioned him, least of all Tommy.

You took a step back, acknowledging Tommy’s entrance, before grabbing your boots and walking toward the adjacent living room. Tommy closed your front door softly before following you. Slowly. Eyeing you as if he was trying to figure out how to broach an inevitable subject.

He shuffled forward, choosing to lean against the wall instead of sitting down next to you. It felt condescending. Wary. “I didn’t come here for that. You know that.”

You held your apple in your mouth as you shimmied a boot onto your foot. You raised your brow in question, trying to act as oblivious as you hoped you looked.

Tommy eyed you for a long moment before sighing. “You didn’t come by for breakfast again.”

You plucked the apple out of your mouth. “I overslept.”

“You never oversleep.”

“Maybe I’m just tired of eating breakfast with Maria.” Your defiant, tight-lipped smile immediately vanished at Tommy’s hurt expression. Your chest deflated. “ … And you.”

He frowned. “What?”

“With the baby coming, you two need to spend as much time together as possible, Tommy. I don’t want to get in the way of that.”

“You wouldn’t.” Tommy tried to give you a meaningful look, but you kept your eyes down. Your fingers worked to lace up your boot in the sudden silence. “Nothing’s going to change.”

“Everything’s going to change, Tommy. Everything has changed. And that’s alright. At least one of us had to relearn how to build some kind of a life.”

“You’re always welcome for breakfast. That’s never going to change.”

You let the silence drone on, using the need to put on your other boot as much needed time to think of what to say. Preferably how to change the subject. You took another bite of your apple before placing it on the coffee table in front of you.

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand before settling on a change in subject. “Yeah, well, I told myself that I’m going to start eating in the dining hall with Colby.”

“Thought you didn’t like Colby. You said he talked too much.”

“Yeah, so do you. I got used to that real quick. I’m sure I can give Colby the same benefit.”

Tommy let out a short laugh. “How is the new partner, anyway? First one who hasn’t switched on you since we were partners.”

“Are you saying I’m hard to be with?”

It was clear it was growing difficult to suppress a smile, but Tommy fought it well. “No,” he replied slowly. “I’m only saying. Seems nice enough. A good fit for ya.”

You finally caught on to his insinuation. The threat of something more – something intimate – made you recoil sharply. “Don’t, Tommy.”

“I’m just saying. He’s nice – a good man.”

“We patrol together, Tommy. And half the people in Jackson are ‘nice.’ Nice comes from losing so much.”

Almost instantly, you regretted making the conversation turn for the worse, but Tommy’s always been quick. He was leaning against the wall so openly, so casually, shoving his hands in his pockets with a familiar, disarming smile in less than a minute. 

“You mentioned something about new patrol routes. Something happen?” You went quiet for a minute, standing to shoulder your jacket that’d been draped over the sofa. You ignored the few steps it took for him to cross the living room and stand in front of you. He helped you with your jacket without question. “You know if something happened, you and Colby have to report it.”

“I know, Tommy.” With a mutter, you added, “You sound like Maria.”

He paused, forcing you to look at him. “If something happened, you have to tell me.”

“Nothing happened, Tommy. Honest. Other than tripping and falling in the old warehouse, nothing’s happened.” You zipped your jacket and faced him fully, looking into his eyes with sudden sincerity. “Sometimes we all just need a change. In pace. In scenery. Just a change, Tommy. That’s all it is.”

Tommy’s response was slow … and then not at all. His mouth opened slightly before closing altogether.

You tilted your head, puckering your lips in annoyance. “You want me to run it by Maria.”

Nearly imperceptible, Tommy sucked in a breath, weighing his decision before shaking his head. “No. Not as long as you stick to the usual route most of the time. You know how they are around here. Real –”

“ – protective  of this place. I know, I know. You remind me every day.” You gave him a small smile. A genuine one this time. “Deal.”

He shook his head, smiling like the over-tolerant man he tended to be with you. “C’mon, we’ve still got time to run by the dining hall.”

“We?”

“I’ve got time; I’m helping fix up some of the buildings today. You can eat a proper breakfast, and, if you’ve got new routes to share with Colby –,” he paused, ambling over to your front door and gesturing for you to follow close behind, “ — then I wanna hear ‘em.”

With that, the walk toward the door was already filled with Tommy’s habit for talking. It was clear his mind was elsewhere – on Maria, on the baby, on the state of Jackson. He had a habit like that, talking about the things that were clearly on his mind while trying to defect to other conversations to keep the solemnity of it all to a minimum.

You’d almost thank him for it. Almost.

It was always nice to hear regular conversation, as if the world wasn’t burning, and had burned, outside of everything that currently surrounded you. Tommy was good at that – a constant reminder that no matter how bad things were, there was always something, seemingly inconsequential, that could bring light to the seriousness of it all. Of everything, really. You liked that.

That’s why you let him talk and didn’t immediately wipe the growing smile that traced your lips.

“ – and I’ll probably work less, once the baby comes. Marie and I have already decided that,” he was saying. Your smile dropped, then. 

It all felt strange – inane. Like everyone and everything was trying to rebuild something that wasn’t meant to be rebuilt. And children. Children were the last thing that should be brought into a world like this.

But he was Tommy, and you would be remiss not to share in his happiness.

You managed a tight-lipped smile, eyes barely leaving the ground, as you reached for the door knob. “Yeah, sounds great, Tommy. Happy for you.”

You eyed him for a moment, a smile threatening every inch of your countenance, but you shoved it down as soon as you opened the door. Your patrol partner, Colby, stood on your front porch, arm outstretched mid-knock, and wide eyes trained on the both of you. His tall, lanky figure stood awkwardly in your doorway.

Tommy stopped, mid stride, conversation dropping immediately and a wide grin spreading rapidly.

“Well, looks like we didn’t have to go lookin’ very far,” Tommy said, humorously bumping your shoulder as he shoved his hands in his pockets. He nodded in greeting, “Colby.”

“Tommy.” Colby nodded, looking between you and his raised fist before dropping his hand entirely. “I – um – I couldn’t find you at the dining hall. I thought I should swing by to check on you before our shift.”

Tommy’s eyes slid toward you with a smirk, muttering, “Well, ain’t that sweet.”

Colby’s hopeful expression was almost unbearable. For a moment, you tried for a smile, but you were sure it came across as more of a grimace. When you didn’t say anything, Tommy cleared his throat. The absence of subtlety was lost on Colby. His failure to notice your annoyance was almost as comical as his inability to tell your intention as you took a few pointed steps toward your pack hanging on a hook to your left.

You were going to leave your pack today, but you hoped it would send a message: Let’s get to the stables and start our shift. Nothing more; nothing less.

You nodded, hooking your pack across your shoulder. “Let’s go.”

Without another moment, you ushered the two of them out and away from your door. Even as you fished your house key out of your pocket, you could see the warm, encouraging smile Tommy gave Colby as they walked. You made no attempt to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at the sight.

The sound of your door locking tightly behind you sent you bounding down the stairs to join the two men on the street.

With a simple nod, you were going to walk right by Tommy and expect Colby to follow in your wake. But Tommy stopped you with a light hand tap to your arm.

“Careful on those new routes.”

“Always.”

He studied you for a long moment, eyes scrutinizing and stance weary. You just let him. Something in your gaze – determination, lack of fear, self-preservation – made him relax and, without warning, pull you into a side hug. You hit his side as he whispered, “Bring it in.”

You took a few measured breathes, letting yourself relax in his grasp, before you pushed yourself upright. You walked out of his embrace with another nod in his direction before heading to the stables.

You hardly noticed the way Colby looked when he fell in stride with you.

"I didn't take you for the affectionate type."

With a shrug, your clipped response was a grunted, "I'm not."

Despite yourself, Tommy's hugs were familiar, reminiscent of a time you couldn't quite place with people you couldn't quite remember. But the next time you saw Tommy, hours later, pulling another into that same kind of hug, it was suddenly different. Foreign.

Hours later, he was hugging his brother.

–

All of the air had been sucked out of the room the moment Joel Miller spoke.

Maybe we could have a moment alone, just for family, he had said.

Your immediate thought was how rude the insinuation must’ve seemed to Maria … until Joel’s gaze met yours first.

He had been in Jackson all of five minutes, and your eyes hadn’t left him since. Even now, when he and a young girl – Ellie, he had explained – sat across from you, Tommy, and Maria in the dining hall.

He looked exactly as you thought he might. You weren’t sure what it was you had been expecting from the older Miller, but the person sitting in front of you was pretty much it. Broad. Brooding. Similar to Tommy in looks and in stature, but still not quite the same. They were family, though, that was for sure.

And now he was making it very apparent that you were not.

The cold, icy feeling of isolation and neglect crept along the back of your neck at his words, bristling and tensing as his gaze fell over you for the first time. Briefly. He set his stare on Tommy after that, working his fork over what was left of his food. 

He hadn’t bothered to look at you much, but you also made no effort to make your presence known. You hadn’t spoken since you'd returned from patrol and the two brothers had reunited. You hadn’t left Tommy’s side, either. The latter wasn’t unusual, of course, so there was no hesitation when you remained at his side, same as Maria. Hesitation only came when Tommy, with a slight pause, turned toward you.

In shock, you snapped your gaze from Joel to Tommy. Without the heat of your gaze, Joel’s eyes could appraise you without much risk. His eyes flitted between you and Tommy, trying but failing to understand the silent conversation that warred between the two of you. His eyes trailed from your hair to the way your fist furled and unfurled on the edge of the table. He was assessing. Gauging. His eyes were back on his plate within seconds.

Conversely, Tommy’s gaze pleaded with you, with every ounce of subtle vulnerability he could muster, with the warm, apologetic look he gave. He wanted you to do as Joel said. A sickening feeling peeled at your gut and constricted your throat at the thought.

But he and Joel were right; you weren’t family.

With an indignant sniff, you rose from your seat and left the dining hall without a single look back.

In your wake, Ellie watched your retreating figure with newfound interest. “Who’s that?”

After a moment, and a brief glance in Maria’s direction, Tommy answered with a cool smile, “A friend. We came to Jackson together. We survived together,” he paused, using his index finger to motion between Joel and Ellie, “Same as you.”

At that, Joel’s eyes momentarily slid over to the door you’d just exited from.

–

The latter half of the evening began to settle in when you heard a familiar gait approach you at the stables. You didn’t bother turning around, not initially. The sun had slipped below the hills surrounding Jackson, and you were sure you could safely spend the rest of the night alone before having to face Tommy again, or anyone really. You wanted to sift through your thoughts properly without the threat of having to speak to anyone else.

That's why you came to the stables. They're quiet. Unassuming. A good place to be alone.

You should’ve known Tommy wouldn’t let you stay that way. 

It was no surprise that he knew to find you at the stables, checking the locks for the millionth time in the way you did when you could find nothing else to do with your hands. Or time.

It was cathartic, you used to always say. Made you feel like you were worth something.

“I didn’t think we rotated stable duty anymore. Not this quickly, anyway,” he called out. “Besides, I’d think you should still be sleepin’ off your patrol shift from this morning.”

You merely glanced at him over your shoulder, offering something between a scoff and a humorless laugh. “I’m just double checking. The new guys always forget something.”

“Suit yourself.” You could hear him shuffling around, trying but failing to avoid the obvious tension between the two of you. “You find anything interesting on your new route today? Was it the scenery you hoped for?”

Your back remained toward him as you mumbled something, nearly incoherent, in response. Nothing new. Different scenery, same feelings. Nothing worth over explaining … or explaining at all. Your voice faded and the silence continued until he let out a sigh.

“I wanted to apologize about earlier. I shouldn’t have made you leave. Everything was so tense –”

“Doesn’t matter. You don’t have to apologize. I get it.”

He paused before trying again. “Everything was so tense. I thought it best to do whatever Joel said to ease it up a bit. Make ‘em feel more comfortable.”

You only nodded, and Tommy sighed again. He moved to lean against a wooden post, crossing his arms and looking at his feet. You wanted to finish checking the locks before you turned around. You thought of him, and the girl, and Joel. His brother came back, and Tommy chose to cater to him. That should be fine. That is fine. You’d probably do the same, if you could.

Joel. Something about him clung to your mind, and perhaps that was why your skin crawled and you hadn’t felt right since seeing him. You never quite thought of what to expect when you met him. If you met him. The way Tommy had dropped little pieces of information about him – here and there, in spurts and bouts – you were sure you knew the man already. But the man that had sat across from you was unforthcoming, aloof, restrained, hard to read, … stiff.

You nearly wanted to double over at the memory of Tommy once telling you that you reminded him of his brother.

Finally, you stopped idling poking around with the locks and dropped your shoulders, turning to face him. At least he could be read like a book.

“I know there’s more, Tommy. What is it? Did he tell you the real reason why he came?”

Tommy shook his head quickly. Almost too quickly. “I really do think he came to check up on me, that's all. I haven’t radioed him in a while.”

“I told you to.”

“I know. Can’t pass up an opportunity to say, ‘I told you so,’ can you?” A moment of silence. His smile died on his lips as he was forced to acknowledge the seriousness.  “He wants me to take the girl.”

“What do you mean? Take her where?”

“South. The fireflies have a base in Colorado.”

“Did he tell you why?”

He looked at you – communicative yet reluctant. Like he wanted to tell you but couldn’t, and the guilt made him apologetic. You swallowed a lump forming in your throat.

“Alright,” you said slowly. “Did he tell you anything else?”

“Nope. Just that I need to take her … and I agreed.”

You nodded, weighing your options in your head. “Well, then, when do we leave?”

“Woah, ‘we’?” Tommy pushed himself off the post and walked a step closer. “There’s no we on this. It’s just me and the girl.”

“Tommy, if you think I’m letting you leave Jackson without me, you’re wrong. And you know it.”

“It’s just a week’s ride. You and me, we’ve gone further than that – separately, too. I’ll be fine. I’ll take the girl, and be back before your next stable duty. I need someone here to watch Maria. To watch Joel. Someone I can trust.”

“Yeah? And who will watch you?”

He let out a short laugh. “I don't need anyone to watch me.”

“You know it’s more than that, Tommy. I have a bad feeling about this.”

You both shared a look – a knowing look. Tommy was well aware of how much it meant to you when you had a bad feeling. And it was true. You practically couldn’t stand still at the thought of it all. 

He nodded in understanding before looking away. “I get it, but I’m going alone on this. It’ll be easier. Faster. But I needed to tell you so you don’t go worryin’ tomorrow morning.”

He looked like he wanted to say more, to step closer and end the conversation with a light, familiar hand to the shoulder, but he didn’t. He only gave you one last meaningful look before turning and walking away. 

–

That night was the same as all others. The incessant ticking of the grandfather clock, the methodical tracing of every grove and indent in the ceiling above you, and the quiet natural sounds of the undisturbed town. The only difference was the added weight that dipped the mattress at the base of your bed – your bag.

Despite what Tommy said, you fully planned on joining him in the morning with a bag packed with two week’s worth of essentials.

Over and over, you imagined the conversation in the stables. You were searching for any giveaways on Tommy’s face that might lend any credibility to what Joel was getting him into. Why the fireflies? Why would the girl need to go to one of their bases? Why come all the way to Jackson? What made the girl so important?

Your stomach churned at every scenario and theory, eyes regularly forgetting the path they were tracing across the speckled ceiling. With a low huff, you turned on your side and stared at the curtains instead. The standard, white, thin curtains that came with the house, same as the clock. They weren’t your favorite, but they reminded you of the time before. They reminded you that there even was a time before.

For whatever reason, that brought as much comfort as it did pain.

Whether the thought brought a wave of fatigue that pushed you over the brink of sleep, you couldn’t tell, but you were pulling yourself up and out of bed the moment the first signs of daylight poked through your window. The early sunlight spilled lazily across your floorboards and sent your heart thumping wildly.

You knew if the two of them were leaving, they would do so early. You’d be damned if Tommy left you behind.

You were up and out of your house faster than you’d ever been before. A small part of you tried not to dwell on the fact that your heart was actually beating with excitement. The thought of leaving Jackson for some time was invigorating – freeing. You’d never admit it to Tommy – you’d barely admit it to yourself – but the town was far too overwhelming at times.

You’d traded Fedra's walls for Jackson’s walls, and the idea was none too pleasing next to the sight of all of the calm, relaxed faces.

It still seemed so trivial to have all of this in here – calm, reassurance, life – while the world rotted out there. 

The suffocation of it all was also one of the reasons you jumped at the chance to join the patrol team only days after you and Tommy joined Jackson. You needed a regular out, to catch your breath and to remind yourself there still was a world out there. Broken, tattered, and empty. But it was there all the same.

And now here was another chance, an opportunity to go even for just a little while longer.

Even if the last thing you expected was to turn the corner at the entrance of the stable and see Joel.

The older Miller was fiddling with one of the padlocks, mumbling something under his breath before he chanced a look over his shoulder to find you watching him with partially parted lips. He froze that way for a second. It never occurred to you which one of you would speak first until the silence between you started to stretch on, second by second.

The two of you took a breath at the same time, seconds away from over-talking one another, just as Colby rounded the corner and came to a stop a few steps behind you. Your name left his lips, breathlessly and pleasantly surprised.

“What are you doing here?” He asked. You turned to face him just as his eyes flitted towards Joel before settling back on you. “Our name’s aren’t on the board for today.”

You nodded. Your bag suddenly seemed heavy on your shoulder, so you adjusted the straps to avoid eye contact for a few seconds. “I could ask you the same question.”

“Olivia and Myles need some things fixed around their house. Toby mentioned we had some spare tools lying around the stables if I wanted to help.” His voice trailed off at the sound of Joel yanking the padlock off one of the horse’s pens. Colby’s eyes shifted to your bag. “Are you heading out?”

You heard the faintest stutter in Joel’s movements. You wondered if he realized Tommy let you in on the matter.

When you didn’t immediately respond, Colby tried for a laugh. It sounded oddly strained. “Showing the new guy the ropes already, huh?”

An exaggerated grunt sounded behind you, and you rolled your eyes. Joel’s lack of response and familiarity with you should’ve been enough of an answer for Colby. Obviously not, of course.

“No,” you stated simply. You were quick on your feet. Dismissive. You felt partially bad for how smoothly a lie flew from your lips to placate his misplaced curiosity, but you wanted him gone more than anything else at the moment. “I’ve been helping Maria with something.”

Your response did exactly as you anticipated. There was little opposition whenever you said you were doing something for Maria; no one ever asked or pushed further. Thankfully, Colby was one of the many who never asked questions.

Colby nodded, excusing himself as he stepped by you and walked toward one of the work benches. His gaze flitted toward Joel several more times as he collected a few items and grabbed a nearby toolbox. You’d never seen him in such a rush to do anything. You wondered if he could feel the taut air, the strained edginess in the situation he just walked in on.

If he did, his smile didn’t show it.

He walked back toward you on his way out, brushing your shoulder with his own. He nodded his head in goodbye. “I’ll see you around.”

Your only response was a tight-lipped smile as you watched his retreating figure. Anything to avoid turning back to Joel for as long as possible. You weren’t sure what to say or how to say it. You were sure he suspected Tommy told you what the two of them had discussed, even if Tommy hadn’t told you much. Joel didn’t know that.

And, when you turned around, Joel’s expression gave away exactly what you figured. Partial annoyance littered every muscle in his face as his jaw feathered.

With eyes trained on you, he nodded in your direction. “Tommy tell you?”

You didn’t know whether to nod or vigorously disagree. You were aware of how rocky their relationship was, how turbulent their past must have been for the two of them to separate, and you wanted little to do with however they felt about one another.

Still, Joel took your silence as an answer and clucked his tongue in irritation.

“You shouldn’t blame him,” You spoke up, crossing your arms defiantly, “When I want information, I’m pretty good at grilling people for it.”

“I know Tommy. He doesn’t need much grillin’.”

Silence ensued once more until your curiosity won. You watched him strap his pack on the horse for a few moments before speaking up again. “If Tommy’s the one leaving, why are you here? Prepping a horse, no less.”

“I’m giving Ellie a choice – me or Tommy.”

“And why’s that?”

“It’s only fair.”

“No, I mean, why Tommy? Why not you? It’s been just you and Ellie so far. Why change that now?”

“Tommy’s younger. Stronger. Faster. Her best bet would be to leave with him.”

You considered that, eyes wandering Joel’s figure with sudden interest. It was partially self-indulgent, if you were to be completely honest with yourself. It was your first time really getting to look at him … and he looked alright. A slight tilt to his gait, from age or injury or both. His broad frame and build were controlled, guarded, muscular.

With a shrug and a brief look away, you tried for indifference. “You seem just fine.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not. Tommy’s the better choice.”

“Tommy has a kid on the way.”

“Yeah, well,” he paused, casting a short glance in your direction, “not that it’s your place, but it’s important that Ellie gets to where she needs to be.”

You chose not to say anything after that. You felt it best to wait for Tommy, to see how this would all play out. You were fine there, with your arms crossed and eyes now pinned on your shoes, until one side of the saddle slipped. Joel’s frustrated sigh made your head snap back up. He was holding one of the saddle clamps in one hand and raising his other hand to his mouth, biting  the tip of his gloved finger to yank the glove off completely.

 With a roll of your eyes, you dropped your bag and marched towards him without a second thought. He was too distracted, busying himself with the horse’s straps, to notice you until you were grabbing the loose straps from his cold hands and finishing them yourself.

He didn’t protest or take a step back – didn’t move an inch, in fact. All he did was take his glove from his mouth and stare down at you, sizing you up. 

“Why’re you here? Were you going to leave with them – with Tommy and Ellie?” He paused. “Is that what your bag is for? Was that your plan?”

He made your idea sound ridiculous. Far-fetched. His tone was enough to make you shoot a glare over your shoulder, making brief but pointed eye contact before your attention fell back to the horse.

“Wherever Tommy goes, I go.”

“That so?”

You only hummed in response until you conceded. “Mostly.”

“Why’s that? Tommy said this trip shouldn’t be dangerous.”

“It’s not.”

“Then why leave?”

The last strap slipped easily in place, and you turned to look at him. “Because I want to.”

You’re not sure why you said it, however truthful it was. His brow furrowed in confusion, and a part of you wondered if you said too much. It was clear his persistence only meant his genuine concern for his and Ellie’s safety. You were sure he wasn’t expecting to pull a confession from you.

Thankfully, the sound of footsteps interrupted the silence once more as Tommy and Ellie rounded the corner of the stable’s entrance. You stepped away from Joel to meet Tommy halfway, and the movement caught Tommy’s attention immediately. His approach suddenly became cautious, weary. His brow furrowed, and you noticed how similar his confused expression was to Joel’s.

“What are you doing here?”

With a smirk, you responded, “Told you you wouldn’t leave here without me.”

He only shook his head, fighting a grin, as the two of you turned to watch Joel and Ellie. It came as a shock to you how quickly she chose Joel. Her decision was quick, without question, and made Joel fail miserably in hiding his elation. She was already swinging her leg to climb on top of the horse by the time Joel registered her clear devotion.

You should’ve been relieved – relieved that Tommy would be staying here and not taking some random teenager across the empty planes far from Jackson, alone. Maybe a part of you should’ve felt traces of bitterness for not having the opportunity to leave as you wanted to. But all you felt was a feeling of dread deep in your chest, like that day twenty years earlier. Outbreak Day. The day your brother never came back.

“I’m going with them.”

It was quiet. Small. Even without trying, Tommy still heard it.

His head whipped towards you. “What? Why?”

“Something still doesn’t feel right, Tommy.”

He studied you – the way your eyes never left Ellie, or Joel. Finally, he nodded. “Then, I’ll go.”

“What?” You turned to face him, shaking your head. “Tommy, you can’t just leave like you used to. Maria needs you here.”

“If something happens to my brother, I should be there.”

A lump formed in your throat at his sentiment, but you’ve had enough practice to push it down. You only nodded solemnly. “Maria needs you Tommy. I’ll go.”

Tommy took a moment. He looked between Joel and Ellie, then to you. He finally nodded and set his gaze on Joel. “You need an escort?”

–

A part of you was glad to find immediate solace in the way the sun crept along your neck and pulled apart your every tensed muscle. Even if your only thought was Tommy's parting words to you.

"Play nice," he had whispered, looking meaningfully towards you. He had nodded in Joel's direction. "Go easy on him."

The other part of you was too consumed by the consistent chatter coming from the two trotting close to your left. Joel’s responses, however short and sparse, were nothing compared to Ellie’s tendency to ramble. His speech still came – deep and soft – more often than you expected it to. Joel was a different man with Ellie; that much was clear.

“What about you?” Ellie's voice drifted towards you without caution.

“Ellie,” Joel grunted.

“What? It’s just a question. Doesn’t have to be answered … but I know it will be.”

Your eyebrow perked up as you chanced a side-long look in her direction. “Yeah? What makes you think that?”

“I can see you over there, practically dying to chime in on our conversation.”

“That’s an overstatement.”

“Maybe … but it’s true. Partial truth, I guess, but true all the same.”

“I actually didn’t think the two of you would be this talkative.”

“He didn’t use to be.”

You looked over at Joel this time. His eyes flitted away from you at first contact, feigning indifference. His elbow nudged Ellie from where she sat behind him, gripping his jacket. It was clearly his attempt to shut her up before she said something that might crack his facade. But you’d be lying if you weren’t curious. The older Miller brother was growing harder to read – nothing like how you’d thought or how Maria assumed him to be. 

You decided to lean into Ellie’s good graces, to spurn her on. If and only if to protect Tommy, even if it meant from his own brother. “Alright. I’ll bite.”

“He used to be a grump. Always said,” she paused, inflating her chest as she put on, what you assumed to be, her best attempt at Joel’s accent, “‘no’ or ‘Ellie shut up.’”

“And what changed?”

The two of them went radio silent, and you shrugged it off with an annoying tug of disappoint. At worst, you’d already missed your chance to nudge at the real reason the two of them suddenly wound up in Jackson, or if Joel posed a risk to all that Tommy built away from him. At best, you gained the silence you were hoping for.

For two seconds.

“So, movies. Were they always like that – like back in Jackson. Just a bunch of people in front of a screen, watching some boring movie.”

You wanted to snort at that. A brief quirk of the corners of your lips probably betrayed the humor you’d found in her statement. For a brief moment, you remembered him – your brother. Jostling your shoulders in the snack line, ready and willing to watch some movie with you because none of your friends would. So carefree, so unaware of the hell that would lead to neither one of you seeing the inside of a theater ever again.

The hilarity of it all suddenly died.

“Pretty much,” Joel offered. “Overpriced junk food, long lines, and faded chairs with candy stuck between every cushion.”

You frowned at that, sending a glare in his direction that you didn’t entirely mean. Before the outbreak, movies were your favorite. It felt remiss to let Joel dull the experience for a kid – for someone who would never get to experience it the way you did. The way either of you did, if Joel were to be honest you were sure. 

You scoffed, gaining both of their attention almost immediately. “Jackson is only half of what the world was like. A good half – or start, I guess – but half all the same. Everything’s different, including movies. Back then, movies were packed with people of all ages. Everyone was always excited to see whatever was playing. Or, sometimes, you’d go to these places – stores – and get the movies there to watch at home.”

“Movie stores,” she stated. Whimsical. Dream-like.

You nodded. “You’d rent them, take them home, and probably lose them the next day. You’d rack up enough late fees to make you never want to rent a movie again. Then you show up … and do it all over again.”

“Why?”

Thinking about the world in its current state and everything you did before the outbreak seemed silly, dramatic. The cares of that life seemed so far away, so distant and ridiculous, you were sure it had no meaning now and certainly had no meaning then. But it was nice … even if the information was being forced out of you, pried by someone – just a kid – who meant no harm, just an innocence worth protecting.

“I don’t know,” you answered truthfully.

You spared a glance in their direction and saw them both looking at you intently. You cleared your throat, mentioning something about being careful and needing to make it to your destination in a timely manner, before spurring your horse forward with a kick of your heel.

–

Their words became isolated, faraway, with the distance you put between yourself and them. You kept your head on a swivel, watching and waiting for anything out of the norm or out of place. It had been awhile since you made this trip, but you were still able to remember natural landmarks fairly easily. You were starting to think your worry was for nothing, that Joel might be wondering why you’d made such a commotion at the thought of them leaving alone.

At the thought, you turned around to check on the now silent duo. Your checks were periodical, militaristic, but necessary all the same. From here, it seemed like Ellie’s head had found rest against Joel’s shoulder, brown ponytail tossing in the wind and brushing against his bare skin. It stirred something in the pit of your stomach, so you faced forward.

You trotted onward, slightly shocked Joel made no mention of setting up camp as the sun dipped lower and lower. Your only thoughts were on the destination, pushing and testing the boundary on how far you could ride before camp was unavoidable.

Eventually, you decided to relent. The sun was low in the sky, and dusk was beginning to wane. You turned and sent a nod in Joel’s direction before pulling off the road to find camp. This was the one part you never particularly liked. Camping, even in a part shrouded by trees, felt too open, too vulnerable. But it was all you could manage between here and the firefly base.

To your slight surprise, Ellie and Joel worked in near perfect unison to take off their packs and find places to settle while you attended to the horses. It didn’t take long for Ellie to slip into her sleeping bag and let sleep wash over her. Even in the middle of a dense wooded area, on hardened ground and surrounded by unlocalized sounds, sleep came easily for her. You were slightly jealous and suddenly reminiscent of times when sleep came easily for you too.

When you were finished, you took refuge against a tree, back digging into the bark. Quietly, Joel sat adjacent to you, eyes also on Ellie but, every so often, on you.

“How do you know Tommy?”

You almost wanted to laugh at how quickly he jumped right into conversation. Without Ellie’s chatter, it didn’t seem like Joel could stand the quiet any more than he could stand having an added third party with them. Or maybe he was just genuinely curious about his brother. With all the time between them since the last time they’d seen each other, it was only right that he’d be interested in the life Tommy built away from him.

You wondered what it was like – for an older sibling to watch what the younger had built without them, without their help.

Tommy. Just the thought of him made you turn toward Joel. You caught his eye just as his gaze flitted toward you. The two of you eyed each other, wearily.

You wanted to ignore Joel completely if it meant sitting in comfortable silence, but Tommy meant something to you. And Joel meant something to Tommy. 

Play nice, Tommy had whispered. You partially hated how he assumed you wouldn’t … even if he was right.

“We met a little while before we bumped into Maria and her crew.” You shrugged. “I guess you could say we’ve been something like partners ever since.”

“He never mentioned you on the radio.” 

“Tell me, Joel, did you ever have conversations that would’ve led to him mentioning me?”

Joel seemed partially stunned by the biting remark. He gave a small shake of his head before retreating back into himself. A heavy feeling settled in your chest at the sight. With a sigh, you decide to give conversation another try.

“So, how do you know the kid?”

He huffed. “‘S complicated.”

You glanced at the horizon. “We’ve got six hours, cowboy.”

The nickname slipped from your tongue so easily you almost didn’t catch it. It was normal, typical, when talking to Tommy. You tried to ignore Joel’s raised brow when he looked at you for a long moment before responding.

“I’m just meant to protect her, that’s all.”

“I get that.”

A wry smile broke his neutral expression as he shook his head, picking up your insinuation. “Tommy’s a grown man. He doesn’t need protectin’.”

“And that’s why you traveled across the country to get to him?”

“He’s my brother. That’s different. ”

“Yeah.” You nodded, swallowing an impending lump in your throat. Your gaze dropped to your lap. “Yeah.” 

A quiet fell between you two. The surrounding trees suddenly felt too close, too restrictive. You were certain they were starting to close in on you. You probably would've stood and tried to find a clearing had it not been for Joel clearing his throat.

“What about you — any family?”

“We all used to have somebody.”

“Colby seems to know you well enough. Seems to be the only person I’ve seen you talk to other than Tommy.”

“Well, in the two minutes you’ve been here, yes. Colby’s my patrol partner. It was always Tommy, but we’ve learned to accept things as they are in Jackson. Even if it means something as simple as trading shifts.”

“You or Tommy?”

You looked at him, brow quirked in confusion. “What?”

“You said ‘we’ve learned to accept.’ You certainly sound like ‘em. At least, the way he is now anyway. Just wonderin’ if you’ve taken to Jackson’s many … rules like he has.”

You suddenly remembered what you had told him back at the stables – about wanting to leave Jackson. You shook your head at the memory.

“Jackson really is a good place. They’ve treated us like their own from day one. I didn’t trust them at first, but we made friends … I still think I can thank Marie’s soft spot for Tommy for that.”

“So you were there? When they were … married.”

“Of course I was. Look, I know Tommy. He rushes into things, doesn’t always think them through …,” Your voice trailed off at Joel's sharp glance. You realized how you must’ve sounded, but it was clear his sudden attention wasn’t from a place of warning or hostility. He was agreeing, partially shocked at how observant and perceptive you were to who his brother was. You continued on, “ … but I really think he took his time with this. He cares about her, a lot.”

“And you?”

“What about me?”

“You and him just seem so close. I thought …”

He wasn't sure what he thought, but he didn't finish his thought. A part of you was glad for it, even if the conversation dwindled. Not because you weren’t used to people assuming some sort of romantic past existed between you and Tommy, which it didn’t, but because you were not in the least bit interested broaching that subject with his older brother.

You stood to your feet. “Tommy’s my friend. I protect his the way he would protect mine. Right now, that means you.” You look around, trying not to look at his expression. He seemed surprised – eyeing you as if he was trying to figure you out. You didn’t particularly like it. “We should probably check the perimeter again. It’s been awhile.” You nod in some vague direction. “I’ll head over there, make sure the area’s clear.”

“Yeah.” Joel was nodding finally, taking his time to stand to his feet. He seemed to tower over you, even while leaning. It was then you noticed he was slightly taller than Tommy. A few inches, but taller all the same. You were surprised he didn’t laugh at the notion of you protecting him the way Tommy always did. “If you see something … shout.”

“And wake the kid?” You nodded toward Ellie, sleeping in her sack like a pile of bricks. A ghost of a smile almost graced your lips. Almost. “I’d kill to sleep like that again. If I see something, I’ll take care of it.”

“She’s tougher than she looks. Even if you do wake her, she’ll be alright.”

The two of you shared a nod before parting ways. Joel was the one to glance over his shoulder at your retreating figure first. Then you at his.

[papermonkeyism]

Poking at the dinosaur project thingy, this time with some production technicalities point of view.

Here be musings.

I originally thought of the project as a calendar, then a series of calendars that could be collected into an art book once enough art had been made for it, and at some point I thought of just skipping the calendar part and going straight for art books.

I've been going back and forth between those options multiple times over the years, and it's still kinda open. Like on one hand a simple calendar with just thirteen illustrations (twelve months plus cover) is the easiest and cheapest option, though pretty limited (what to do once the year presented in the calendar ends, and you still got unsold leftover stock?), and the other hand art books are big projects requiring lots of work, even more money, but be a lasting and very satisfying thing to have.

Maybe I should take a middle road and make a zine instead?

Maybe.

Though, this is where the shape of the actual project comes in.

I've always planned the project as having a slice of life style format, with little story and more focus in exploring the setting. Kinda just looking in and enjoying the view while you go. But I've noticed that keeping the "narration" as illustrations kinda keeps the immersion at arm's length too. While that is fine and dandy for a calendar where the space for any narrative would be very limited anyway, if I was going to do more with the setting, I kinda need something deeper. Even if the audience is fine just looking at pretty pictures, with ADHD it would be better to have something deeper to help keep me personally invested enough to actually plan, plot and produce the materials needed.

Should I make an actual story, with plot and stuff? Feels kinda unnecessary for a thing focusing on just illustrations, and I don't know if I really "click" with a text heavy picture book format. I kinda feel it would make comic as the best option, though that has its own downsides. I've always wanted to do full colour paintings of the dinosaurs, yet going comic it would have to simplify a lot and make it grayscale just to keep me sane. And, as someone who has done well over 250 pages of a long form comic, that's still a HUGE commitment I don't think I have the resources - mental, physical nor financial - to pull off.

I also kinda feel having a plot story would sort of detract from the "exploring the world" aspect and put more heavy focus on characters, which. Well, it's not *bad* exactly, just not quite what I want.

(Also I am aware the dinosaur clan I have has a kid character, and I don't want to make her the point of view character for the story. I have no interest doing a childrens' book. I mean, I am perfectly fine if kids do eventually end up liking my stuff, but I don't consider them my target audience. My target audience is me, an adult person in their later 30s, and a handful of nerds I consider friends and/or mutuals.)

Another option I've been toying with is kind of a double edged sword.

Those who got the Almost Real speculative evolution zine volume 5 got a bit of a taste of this, as I kinda tried it out there.

So... I've gone to pretty great lengths as a layperson to work in the setting of the project thingy. It's always bothered me when dinosaurs get just dumped into a story with no regards to when and where they actually lived, making for an anachronistic hodgepodge of what's popular forming into a mismatched fantasy setting, usually with throwing humans into the mix. I don't like that. I'm more interested in seeing the actual animals as they were, when they were and where they were, where the focus is in the dinosaurs themselves. Thus the limit to Two Medicine formation (with some of the surrounding areas included too, though still keeping to the same time period).

I do not want humans in my dinosaur stories. Period.

But what if...

So, imagine a research journal. There's a scientist visiting the clan of Singing People the project focuses on, with the mission of studying them, their life and their world. The book or zine or whatever could be a story of the dinosaur clan introducing themselves and their life to this person. An outsider point of view to excuse learning about them by them teaching this POV person how their world works. There could be some interaction and maybe interviews, and of course illustrations because you need to document your subjects after all.

Like, I'm kinda excited about the idea. It would let me get into the details I want to picture without getting too into the heads of the characters to limit the chances of artistic exploration. You gotta document the surroundings your study subjects live in after all! But you'd still get to know the characters because it's the job of the POV person to learn about them. Win win!

It's just that I don't want to put too much attention on this hypothetical scientist. Like I said before I don't want to mix my settings. The dinosaur project thingy's world IS Laramidia in the Campanian period of late Cretaceous, it's not meant to be a scifi setting, nor do I want to have any focus on any time travel.

Wonder if it would be possible to leave the scientist character vague enough to never actually get explained? They're just nameless outsider from undetermined time and place who's interviewing some dinosaurs. Maybe with some peronal opinions or musings but no anecdotes about their own life or themself. And whenever there's interactions between the scientist and any of the Singing People it just gets handwaved away. (Of course the Singing People are curious about them too, but that's not the point of the study so it just doesn't get documented or something?)

I don't know. Could that work?

[fordtato]

So, I’ve been watching some of your Gravity Falls videos—-and by the way, they’re absolutely fantastic, and I love that you included complex and under-discussed topics through the lenses of aspecs and of masculinity—though one of the things that’s been most surprising that you’ve mentioned in passing a few times is the idea that Stan and Ford were specifically Jewish immigrants.

I’m curious if you could tell me more about that, especially because that possibility doesn’t sit well with me as a Jew, as if it’s true it would make Stan’s entire character an antisemitic stereotype (the greedy, deceptive Jew is one of the oldest antisemitic stereotypes out there) and would make the entire show harder to enjoy or even watch.

Sure, no problem (and thank you for watching my videos)! So, the Pines family is canonically Jewish (the series creator, Alex Hirsch, is himself Jewish and based them off his own family and has confirmed this, and we see a mezuzah at Stan and Ford’s childhood home). As far as them being immigrants, I don’t say that Stan and Ford themselves are immigrants, but that they are the children of immigrants, as it is implied in the supplemental material that their father (or at least their father’s family) migrated to the US, with a mention of a name-change on Ellis Island. 

As far as the antisemitic stereotypes, that is an area that I feel less comfortable weighing in on (as I myself am not Jewish). It is notable that the characters were written/created by a Jewish man, and I feel it would be inappropriate for me to weigh in too deeply on how a Jewish person writes Jewish characters (and Stan, notably, is also based off of one of Hirsch’s relatives.) In all discussions of good or bad representation (regardless of which marginalized group I’m considering), I think a solid rule of thumb when considering a stereotypical depiction, is that it is important to see if that is the only depiction of that group present, or if there is diversity within the diversity, so to speak. The entire Pines family, including Dipper, Mabel and Ford, are all Jewish, and they have a wide breadth of traits and loveable qualities and flaws. If all of these characters had harmful stereotypes associated with their traits, or if the only depiction of a character from a given group is a stereotype, that is what usually sets off red flags for me. This does NOT mean that stereotypical depictions are immune to criticism, because they absolutely are not, but I do think criticism can be murky on a case-to-case basis, especially when those traits are written by a writer of that background. 

That being said, I have seen it said by other Jewish fandom members that Stan Pines can be seen as a deconstruction of the stereotypical tropes you mention and I’ve always found that very interesting. What at first appears to be greed/money-obsession can actually be seen as a manifestation of his means of survival (leftover from when he was homeless as a teen), the trauma of being told as a young person that he would not be accepted without money, and also that he was working to pay off his brother’s mortgage while working to save him from the portal.

I hope this was helpful and that my answer here made sense.