#seriously making this list i realized how much i love mike's pov

[oceanic-sunsets]

hey, everyone! as you know, there has been an incredible increase of byler fics on ao3, and since it can be hard to find what do read or how to find what you're looking for, i thought i could contribute with my own list of fic recs. This is only part one, i'll keep updating as i read. Also, if you have any fic rec for me, please share them with me via ask or dms!

None of the fics in this list are rated Explicit.

The italics represent the fic summary. The comment underneath is my opinion.

...

a game of truths - RomeoWrites | 22.5k | canon compliant “Tell me something that you’ve never told me before.” OR Mike and Will play a game of truths. I loved how their relationship was portrayed here. The change between being so close, to suddenly not telling each other stuff and even lying, and then slowly trying to rebuild their friendship and trust. Their relationship developed beautifully. I wish i could read this again for the first time!

no end to this want - astrobi | 21.4k | canon compliant "Mike thinks back to the painting Will gave him, rolled up and placed carefully in his dresser drawer because for some reason it felt too wrong to hang it up on the walls with everything else. Too intimate. Like Will had made it for his eyes only. Or, apparently as everyone else thought, some mystery lover in California. And then he thinks about Will dozing off on his bed, and saying I think I’m in love with you all soft and slowed down from the inertia of sleep, and that’s right about when Mike starts to feel seriously lightheaded. He leans back against his bed and focuses very hard on taking deep, even breaths." Mike contemplates his feelings for Will Byers, partakes in a concerning amount of swooning, and learns to drive. Sort of. This was amazing. I love reading from Mike's pov because i wanna study his brain under a microscope. This fic takes you through the process of realizing his feelings while trying to mend his friendship with Will, and where he accidentally tells the party Will likes someone and they think it's some mysterious girl and it's hilarious. you're not gonna regret reading this one!

i'm tearing you asunder - smoosnoom (moonsooms) | 21k | canon compliant “Did I do something wrong?” Mike questions, mouth twisted in a frown, eyes less wide than they were a few moments ago, sleepiness gone. His arms stay at his sides, although his fingers fiddle with his sleeves. “What did I do wrong?” Will frowns back. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Mike doesn’t look like he believes him. Will doesn’t blame him. “Then why do you keep leaving?” The world ends, and then some. Mike and Will find each other again, amidst the debris and distance. I'm pretty sure a lot of you have already read this one, but i just have to include it. I love how, from Mike's perspective, Will is the one pulling away from him. We're so used to reading everything through his eyes, that sometimes we forget how confused Mike must feel. But then again, he fails to understand how sidelined Will has felt for a while. They misunderstand each other, which is hard after so many years of friendship and being so close. This fic takes us through the journey of them relearning how to trust each other and be vulnerable.

i’d love to see me from your point of view - unidentifiedblackthorn | 8k | canon compliant Now that Will’s sitting and Mike’s the one that’s standing, he looks impossibly tall. Tall and lanky, and huge. He should sit back down, Will thinks, lay back down next to Will and stay in their own secluded little bubble. “I really want to kiss you,” Mike says, and Will’s eyes snap back up to his so violently he thinks he hears his own neck crack with the force of it. “Don’t,” Will croaks, before his brain has even processed the words. “Don’t say that.” “Okay,” Mike says easily, still staring. And what the actual fuck is going on? Is Will hallucinating? Is the weed making him hallucinate? “So sausage and pepperoni?” Will stares dumbly at him. “Um - yeah. Yes.” “Cool,” Mike replies and then just turns around and leaves Will sitting dumbly in his own room. or Mike and Will get high on Jonathan’s weed and Mike has an amazing idea. Just as the summary says: basically Mike and Will get high and Mike makes a petition. This was hilarious, beautiful, and a little heartbreaking, you name it! it has everything. I just really love Mike in this one:)

darling, you got to let me know (should i stay or should i go?) - andiwriteordie | 11k | canon compliant (pre vol. 2) Nobody expects it to be Mike. Everyone is expecting it to be Max or Nancy, who both have already been targeted. Or maybe El, whose childhood in Hawkins Lab makes her the perfect target. Or Will, who has gone through more than enough trauma in the past three years alone for all of them. Nobody expects it to be Mike. Or, the one in which it's Mike, not Will, who Vecna targets. Mike gets vecna'ed, and we get to see what he's really going through. This was a great fic to read while we waited for vol. 2, but it's always going to be an amazing read! and honestly, everything this author writes is wonderful, i'm not including all of their fics only because i haven't read them all (yet).

what a goddamn kiss to think about - zadurn | 5k | i think au? unsure of the clasification here i'm sorry “Can I kiss you?” he asks. Hearing the words out loud makes everything feel that much more real, and Mike loves it. He thinks he might love Will, too, and the thought doesn’t feel new. It’s like a stone that’s half buried in the dirt but just got kicked loose. It’s something that’s been deep in Mike’s heart for a while, years, maybe, but just got unearthed. Will pushes him away, and Mike has no idea what he did wrong. He was just telling the truth. Friends don’t lie. “What?” Will asks, voice sounding kind of choked. He’s grimacing, and Mike wants to un-say whatever bad thing he said so that Will smiles at him again. “I— I asked if I could kiss you,” Mike says, and Will shushes him. He looks around frantically. “Mike,” Will replies. He sounds tired. “You can’t just ask that.” “Why not? I want to kiss you so I asked.” “But you don’t, Mike. You don’t want to… to kiss me. You’re just drunk.” – alternatively: mike pines while drunk, and then he pines while sober. Listen, i just really love pining!mike fics where he asks Will if he can kiss him and Will thinks it's not real because Mike is under the influence of some substance. This was such a fun read! the ending was beautiful!

when the dust settles - teafortozier | 4.8k | canon compliant When all is said and done, days later, when Hawkins is condemned and quarantined and the town evacuated, Wheelers and Byers divided between four motel rooms in the nearest town with any vacancies after the mass exodus from Hawkins—it’s just Mike and the painting. * The post-season 4 fix-it the Duffers are too cowardly to write. They have the very necessary talks where they address what should've been addressed in the show too. This is Mike's pov, which, at this point, is notable i love haha. One of my favorite fix-it fics, definitely!

why would you ever kiss me? - aghostlybreath | 51k (so far. ongoing.) | canon divergence When Eleven saves Will from Vecna she gets more than she bargained for when they wake up in the wrong bodies. Now to prevent Vecna from infiltrating the mind of his most perfect host the two of them must pretend to be the other. Will grapples with the feelings that he’s trying to push away. Mike wonders why it feels like he’s falling in love all over again. What will become of everything when Hawkins finally falls? In order to save Will from Vecna, El traps herself in his mind. What he doesn't know, is that this causes them to switch bodies. And on top of that, they can't tell anyone about their switch because Vecna would find out if he entered their mind. Soo, Will has to pretend to be El, and El has to pretend to be Will. And let me tell you, i can't stop thinking about this fic since i read it, seriously. This scenario makes possible to explore a lot of themes and situations! Will suddenly has to deal with having Mike's attention all the time, and El understands how it feels to be ignored/pushed away by someone you love. Willel is amazing here, too, they start bonding even more thanks to their particular situation. And Mike... Poor Mike, he's so confused and doesn't know what he's feeling and why. This fic has everything! it's funny at times, really sad and heartbreaking at others, clever, and makes you go through so many different emotions. Be aware it's still ongoing, but don't worry, it's usually quick to update!

Us against the world - wasabi8000 | 13k | canon compliant They were right, Mike really is oblivious. Which is why when he figures out Will likes him, his entire world is turned on its axis. Or Mike finally puts the pieces together. Chaos ensues. It's really common to have Mike be absolutely oblivious to what is happening with Will, but what would happen if he figured it out? he's a little clueless when it comes to feelings, but he's also smart. This fic explores that. A great read that differs a little from the most popular interpretation of "mike doesn't figure it out".

i think we're alone now - friendstolovers | 3.5k | canon divergence i think? "Whatever," Lucas shrugs. "You’re just jealous that you aren’t getting any.” Mike raises an eyebrow, like he knows something the rest of them don't. Will looks like he wants to drown him. He probably deserves it. In which Will has a love bite, the Party freaks out about it, and Mike is jealous of himself. Teens being teens, Mike being jealous and not being able to stop thinking about Will. The party being clueless as to what is really going on haha. It was a sweet and fun read! perfect for when you want to step away from angst for a bit and are looking for something more lighthearted.

Mike Wheeler is Doing Just Fine - AtomosphericNonsense | 5k | canon compliant Mike Wheeler is doing just fine. No. Really. He’s okay. He’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with him. Nothing to see here, just mind your own fucking business. AKA: local stressed and queer teen has a mental breakdown, yells at a lake, and then has several more breakdowns. This is a Mike character study, in which he has several meltdowns. Luckily, he has people who help him endure it. Steve and Robin are wonderful here!

the winner takes it all - andiwriteordie | 9k | canon compliant “Honestly, I bet they’ll end up dating at one point or another. I’ve just got a feeling.” “I’ll take that bet,” Steve says, voice filled with certainty. “Bet you ten bucks Wheeler and Byers are just friends and don’t get together.” Robin and Steve make a bet on whether Will and Mike will end up together. Naturally, chaos ensues. Just as established by the summary, Steve and Robin make a bet about whether Will and Mike will get together. Then it escalates, more people get involved, and the bet changes from if to when. Such a fun and entertaining read!

when will you accept yourself? - awhstrangerthings | 8k | canon compliant, but post s3 and pre s4. There was only one thing he and Robin Buckley had in common; they both were undeniable nerds. So he's a little confused when he walks into the Video Store, and Robin offers advice of all things. After many visits and conversations about life, relationships, who he is as a person— Mike realises why he's been so drawn to converse with Robin, and that there were two things they had in common after all. Over the course of a month, we see Mike Wheeler in a state of vulnerability that we've never seen him in before as he comes to terms with himself, his sexuality, and his feelings for a certain friend in California with the help of Robin. Or, Mike Wheeler and his blossoming friendship with Robin Buckley. We have quite a few fics of Robin befriending Will, which i love, but now think about this: Mike befriending Robin. Their friendship is truly everything!

head over heels - ashhaxkerman | 11k | canon compliant On their way to Hawkins, the group decides to stay at a motel for the night. Mike and Will get a moment alone to talk. In which Will's birthday is forgotten and Mike attempts to fix their friendship, which he realizes, is something so much more.

we could be heroes (just for one day) - buffymysavior | 8k | canon compliant (pre vol. 2) Will can’t help but feel a sense of dread as Jonathan speeds past the familiar “Welcome to Hawkins” sign, the cold air pouring in through the windows and making the back of his neck prickle in a way it hasn’t since he’d left town. The past week had been…unexpected, to say the least. At the most, he thought that maybe, just maybe, he would give Mike the painting currently sticking out of the front of his backpack and that Mike would suddenly remember how much Will meant to him, and then things could go back to how they were supposed to be, and maybe Will could write off the past year of loneliness and self-pity as overthinking and nothing more. Instead, he found himself spending the week in the back of a pizza truck that had at one point housed a dead body, and when they weren’t in danger of getting shot by rogue government agents, he was trying to ignore the butterflies Mike Wheeler gave him whenever he smiled at him like it meant something. This fic written by my friend! Will gets vecna'ed, and Mike has some realizations. Although it doesn't follow vol. 2 events because it was written before, it deserves a read! It's both heartbreaking and sweet:) Also, you can pretend Mike's monologue here is the real one, instead of the one we got in the show haha.

Unbreakable Connection - Tea_For_One_Please | 20k | Soulmates AU At midnight on everyone's sixteenth birthday, they receive a connection of some kind with their soulmate. Some are connected by strings. Some have contact marks, a shadow of the first time their soulmate touches them. For some, the first words their soulmate says to them appears on their skin. Some find objects that their soulmate has misplaced. On the night of Will Byers' sixteenth birthday, he hears a little voice in his head. But whom does the voice belong to? Will he ever get to meet the mysterious "Gabriel"? This is the first AU on this list! I'm usually drawn to canonverse fics, but this caught my attention and i don't regret reading at all! It was great and their bond was portrayed in a unique way. Definitely worth a read!

Expect part 2 soon, as i'm consuming fics as if my life depended on it!

[joyrose-fandomer]

Music club AU Chap2 (Sanders sides Human AU)

TL;DR: What if you just wanted to play music in peace but the autor sayed “chaos twins :)”

POV: Virgil

Relationship: Creativitwins, Prinxiety, Logicality parent to Virgil, (later in the story) Dukceit.

TW: Play fighting

<<Previous  Next>>

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God loves to mess with little old Virgil, do they?

The teenager just wanted to play music and have a good time, for ONCE!

But nooo, couldn't have that did he?

Virgil just opened the door to the classroom where the music club took place, standing at the threshold, staring at not one but both of yesterday's idiots staring back at him from their seat in the classroom.

He closed back the door. A laugh exploded inside the room followed by rushed footsteps.

Virgil practically ran through the corridor and was at the other side of it when someone flew the door of the classroom open and yelled.

"WAIT, COME BACK!"

It was a good thing that it was lunchtime and everyone was out, eating because Virgil would not have been able to handle the embarrassment.

The guy took the chance to run through the corridor while Virgil was still stunned.

He reached him breathless.

"Wait... don't go.... just...one second" He took a few deep breaths "Alright... Let's start again."

The tall boy corrected his posture and fashed a 100-watt smile.

"Hi. I'm Roman. And you are?"

Virgil looks at the hand his schoolmate was extending to him like it was going to electrocute him. Wich he was seriously considering could happend.

  The unconvinced emo took a long look up and down the dramatic boy who was growing more uncomfortable and nervous every second.

He was a head taller than Virgil, His hair where a stylish mess, he was wearing an outfit stolen straight up from a model magazine and not to be gay but he was so jacked that Virgil could see his pecks from under his shirt.

"Sooo..." The much to jacked teen continued when he saw that Virgil was not going to answer "Should I be worried by this elevator look or..." He left the end of the sentence hanging in the hope that Virgil would tell him something, anything.

But he simply rose an eyebrow.

Roman finally let his arm fall to his side, starting to be tired of holding it up for so long.

"Look. I got it. Using you for a challenge was not cool. I'm dumb and my brother is even dumber.

 But still, give me chance. I really want to get to know you. So, how about we get back to the classroom before the teacher arrives and you can decide my fate after?

Please?"

His dramatic schoolmate had quickly shot the sentences one after the other, making big movements to accentuate his point.

  Alright, Virgil was starting to get second-hand anxiety from this interaction, let's just go back to the classroom and get it over with.

He sighed and reluctantly got past the nervous mess in front of him to make his way back down the corridor, causing a disbelieving grin to appear on the face of the other boy who started trotting behind him.

If only he knew that he just threw out the window his only chance at peace for that smile.

Once in the classroom, Virgil was immediately greeted by a whistle coming from the other member of the dumb duo who was now sprawled over two chairs and tables. His hair was partially white and his outfit looked like he stoled Roman's close and made them voluntarily look as terrible as possible.

Virgil looked back at Roman who was joining his own hands together over his mouth, silently praying to Virgil to not back out. 

Puppy eyes had always been the emo's weakness, his dad used them constantly against him, so when a pretty face was giving him those hopeful eyes he was unable to refuse.

He reluctantly walked into the classroom only to realize that the only seat left was the one right in front of the brothers that none took due to being the closest to the teacher. 

Great.

"Wow, Ro! I can't believe you managed to get him to stay, that's a new record!"

Roman's brother claimed, throwing his arms for emphasizes and almost hitting Virgil in the process.

"Not thank's to you. Now scout over I wants my sit."

"Make me"

The strange twin challenged with a smirk. A challenge that was apparently accepted immediately judging by the wicked smile appearing on the face of the other twin.

"Gladly"

The dramatic boy took the ankles of the chaotic one and all but dragged him to the floor, getting a laugh out of his brother. Everyone was looking at them like they were insane and Virgil couldn't agree more.

Roman sunk in his sit, behind Virgil, completely unbothered by the chorus of confused laughter from the other students.

This was the scene playing when the teacher entered the classroom. Everyone when as silent as possible, a few of them had to hold their laughter with their hands. The embodiment of chaos looked up from his spot on the ground with an innocent smile.

The teacher took silently a sip of his coffee and walked past the teenager to reach the front of the room before sitting on his desk.

  "Sup, everyone. Glad to see a lot of familiar faces. For those who don't know me, the name's Remy. I'm a music teacher and I'll babysit you all an hour every week for this club. You're welcome."

At the word 'babysit' he looked through his sunglasses at the trouble maker who was sitting back on his chair.

It took barely a look to know which student already knew the men, smiling and snickering like it was their wired uncle or big brother. And the ones who discovered the strange character, blinking and staring in confusion.

Two girls started whispering to each other a few rows behind, causing the teacher to snap his fingers to get their attention.

"Sorry, Sir! We were just wondering if Remy was your last name"

One of the girls quickly apologized.

"Don't sir me and no, that's my first name. My name is Dorme. Any other question?"

After a silence, he continued.

"Good. So I'm going to take the same call from last year and cross out everyone we lost during the summer break. Toby!"

Someone with orange hair and a skeleton hoody rose their hand.

"Hi Toby, last year right? Think you can go to the club and study at the same time?"

"No problem, Remy"

Remy nodded and looked back at his list.

"Amely!"

A tall girl with a flowery dress rose her hand from the back of the class.

"Hey girl, how's the transition going? Want to stay with the altos or do you want to try and go soprano?"

"It's going great but I'd like to stay alto if possible"

"Of course. Next, Mike!"

There was no answer so he crossed them out. It continued like that for a few more minutes before he put the list down and took an empty paper.

"Ok, now time to cheek the newbies. Just say your name, pronoun, and any instrument you can play.  We start from the front and make our way back from left to right."

Meaning Virgil was first. Too much pressure.

He looked up at the teacher who was waiting for him to speak. Everyone was looking at him it was awful. He went to say his name but his voice refused to cooperate.

The teacher handed him the empty sheet where the anxious boy wrote 'Virgil Adams, he/him, base'

"Quick question, do you think you'll be able to sing or-" Mr. Dorme posed mid-sentence when he looked at the paper. "Never mind. Steve, good news, we have a base. You can play the guitar now!"

Steve, a boy with a plaid shirt and dark curly hair, made a 'woohoo!' of victory.

Remy looked back at Virgil.

"Don't worry about singing if you don't feel like it. Want to start tuning the base?"

The high schooler noded quickly and practically ran to the back of the classroom where Nat, one of the older students showed him where the material was.

The teacher called for the next student to introduce themself.

There was a noise of a chair being pushed back followed by an obnoxious voice.

"Greetings! I'm Roman Poquelin, he/him, and I can play any string and wind instrument except the base, the violoncello, and, god forbid, the kazoo."

"The kazoo is great! You don't know what you're talking about!"

The other twin defended

"The kazoo is an atrocity made by people with no taste!"

"You just hate fun!"

"This is not fun it's torture!"

Remy intervened before the kazoo debate blows up to far.

"That's enough you two, Roman sit down. Next."

"Remus Poquelin, he/them, I play every percussion as well as the trombone, accordion, bagpipe, otamatone, and KAZOO"

The chaotic twin insisted on the word 'kazoo' just the get a reaction from his brother who growled at him.

"Hey, that makes two Rems!" Toby yelled.

"You're right one of us got to change their name it ain't me" Remy added with a joking tone.

Remus thought about it for a moment before screaming proudly "DUKE!"

There was a confused silence cute only by a little "what?" from Steve.

Remus anwserd with a big dramatic mouvement.

"Everyone! Call me duke, or duky, or D or Di-"

"We are not calling you that." Roman interrupted with a tired sigh.

Virgil was starting to wonder if they were going to always be like that because it was starting to be exhausting.

Remy probably thought the same since he downed all his coffee before pushing on with the rest of the introductions.

 Luckily there were only the two girls left who didn't make a scene out of it. Named Branda and Harley. Two sopranos, none playing any instrument.

Steve had joined Virgil with his guitar and they waited for Remy to explain the year's program. 

Apparently, he had planed a few small concerts around the school during the year and 3 big ones including a competition interschool, and two concerts not taken in charge by the school as extra scholar activity.

That made a lot of concerts, and no matter how much Virgil liked to play, he still hated being under the spotlight.

They then made some vocal exercises and while everyone was reading the lyric of the song they were going to work on today, Remy explains how to play the song to Virgil, Steve, and Remus who got asked to play the drums.

The song was rather simple and except for Virgil, everyone was singing. They had to start again multiple times due to Remus somehow managing to never sing the note right while still playing the drums perfectly.

"Remus, can you sing me a 'la'?" Mr. Remy asked probably starting to wonder if he was doing it voluntarily.

Remus sang a 'mi'

"Try again?"

a 're'

"No, that's worst. Again?"

a 'si'

"Ok, you're just messing with me now" The teacher sighed

Roman rose his hand.

"He's not messing with you. He actually can't do it. 

He knows what note your asking of him he just can't sing it, but he can still play."

The music teacher looked confused at that.

"Do you want to be exempted from singing little duke?"

He got answered with a big nod. 

So now they were two not singing.

On the other hand, Roman grew more and more comfortable with the song and his dramatic personality slowly took over until they riched the last song and he couldn't help but hold the last note for almost a full minute. 

Virgil and Steve had stopped playing by now but Remus kept a drum roll for his brother with a straight face, apparently knowing that it was going to happen.

When Roman finished the bassist exchanged a look with the drumer and somehow he just knew they were thinking the same thing.

Remus grinned and suddenly they were both laughing.

  Nate joined in, hiding his face in his jacket, then Remy, Amely, and in seconds everyone was laughing, Roman included.

  The bell rang. Warning them that it was time to go back to class.

While cleaning everything up Virgil heard Branda comment.

"It's going to be a weird year"

Never, truer words had been said.

***<>========<>***

(Virgil : Not to be gay but *proceed to be very gay*) XD

[rosyredlipstick]

clown embers: my heart burns there too

For the anon who asked for a fic rec list for It: thank you for knowing i needed to take a homework break and organizing a list for the fandom i CANT STOP READING 

seriously ever since i saw the second film in October i have been going absolutely CRAZY. like, i saw the first one in theaters and was kind “eh” but something unlocked in me after that second film like ???????? !!! so yes i have a TON of recs. 

all of these of reddie because the whole thing about pining for your best friend but wait, maybe it actually works out in the end when you’re 40 and reuniting with your friends after 27 years???? fucking gets me. all fix-it fics because IM NOT A MONSTER 

some fic authors i rec: Anything theapplepielifestyle has posted! Also ShowMeAHero has a LOT of really great stuff and has been updating regularly, which keeps my little reddie heart burning. Also, check out zach_stone! 

oK FIC TIME - 

I killed a clown. AMA! By liesmyth

I (39M) got stabbed twice today and now I want a divorce. Help?

Or: the one where Eddie is on Reddit.

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This fic Is so hILARIOUS. Seriously. I cant recommend it enough, I was dying laughing the entire time. And the different posts between Eddie and Myra? Loved it. 

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but of all these things i like you best of all by Fluffifullness

“You can cook?” Eddie blurts.

Richie blinks. “Yeah. What the fuck? Yes. I know we’re not the pinnacle of functional adulthood, here, but there’s no way I’m the only one in seven, right?”

“No,” Ben admits. He takes a few steps toward Richie, like he hopes fleeing the scene will dispel the momentary awkwardness. “It’s just…”

“I would’ve guessed you mostly do prepackaged stuff,” Mike adds, following Ben’s lead with an apologetic smile of his own. Eddie does, too, except he also stuffs his hands into his pockets and hunches in on himself just enough to attract Richie’s attention, which is why he inadvertently directs most of his retort at him.

(Or: the one where Richie's love language of choice happens to be cooking.)

-

oh goodness, what an underrated fic. i love the relationship Richie has to build with cooking and showing the others his love for them. and eddies like,,, begrudgingly impressed with it all. love it!

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the universe was made to be seen by our eyes by playedwright

“So. To summarize. I’m stranded on Mars, entirely alone. I have absolutely no way to communicate with my crew or with earth, since our communications antennae turned me into a human shish-kabob. If the oxygenator becomes compromised, I’ll suffocate. If the water reclaimer stops working, I’ll dehydrate. Breach in the Hab means I’ll go poof. And if, for some god-forsaken reason none of those things kill me first, I’m gonna run out of food and starve to death. Oh, and we can’t forget that everyone I know thinks I’m dead. So… yup. Totally fucked.”

On Sol 6, an unexpected windstorm cuts the Ares III Mission short and six astronauts retreat back to Earth.

On Sol 7, the astronaut they left behind wakes up gasping for air.

(Or, The Martian au)

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Okay first of all you nEED TO READ THIS SERIES. Wow. I loved The Martian but this AU space just works so, so well for the losers. Read it, love it, cry into your pillow. Thank me later (then message me so we can fangirl about how much we love the series)

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Derry Days by SidleyParkHermit

Everyone starts talking at once, but Richie cuts through the loudest. “Okay, back up, back up. Where are you getting all of this?”

“It’s happened before. I keep dying and reliving this day over and over.”

Bill is the first to speak, turning to Mike. “Uh, is that…”

Mike shakes his head, frowning.

“Shit,” Eddie says. “I was really hoping Mike would know something.

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Have I mentioned that I’m a BITCH for time-loop fics? Because i really, really am. And this one, with Eddie in the loop instead of Richie, puts a twist on a familiar fic t make it completely original. Love, love it! 

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Now What I'm Gonna Say May Sound Indelicate by IfItHollars

Eddie Kaspbrak has lived his whole life being told that he's delicate, and he's not. And nearly bleeding out in an alien fear demon's lair has helped him realize that--as well as what he can live through. It puts his priorities in some perspective.

What he is, is injured. And married. To like, a woman. And gay. And stupidly, stupidly in love with Richie Tozier, after all these years. And he'd like to use his new lease on life to act on many of these things, if only Richie would cooperate.

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Okay this is by far my favorite fic. Every new chapter is just such a JOY to read. The characters are all so layered and Eddie’s POV makes me laugh out loud like 10 times a chapter. It’s so funny but so, so heartfelt. AND THE RECENT CHAPTER - AKLSHFLAKH

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the anatomy of a joke by crescenteluce

He trails off and Bev raises an eyebrow. ‘So, you being in bed together fits in there how exactly?’

‘No, Jesus, Bev.’ Eddie says and Richie, horrifyingly, feels his cheeks heat under Bev’s suspicious look. Something needs to be done, so he plucks Eddie’s phone from his hands.

‘I am appalled by your implications, Beverly.’ He says sternly, trying to ignore the blood still not quite done rushing to his face. ‘I would have you know that I’d never defile Eddie like that, the poor man’s 40 year old and still a virgin and if I’d have the honor of-’

He’s cut off by Eddie trying to wrestle the phone away from him as Bev cackles delightedly.

-

This fic is locked to ao3 users only but. Anon. listen. If there’s any reason to get an account, iTS THIS FIC. this fic is…. Dare i say, iconic. I reread it sometimes and i have to stop to take breaths from getting too hyped up at the section breaks. And the sequel???? Holy shit. Pls read this fic, pls. 

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feet on the ground, head in the sky by peggyolson

richie and eddie put themselves back together, one long-distance phone call at a time.

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God, i love a good phone fic. And this is just such, such a good writing of richie, the author really nailed him here. Just. read it. Cry. reread it again. 

____

Anyway i love reddie fic so much. Give me two 40 year old best friends slowly remembering how much they love each, and throw stan in there too or else i get sad at 4am thinking about patty. thanks . i have a ton more so let me know if you want more!!!

[stellarbisexual]

Unsung Reddie fics

Hey, y’all! There’s sooooo much content for Reddie that a lot of fics slip under the radar and don’t get nearly the amount of love I think they deserve. I try to rec them individually whenever I read them, but I thought I’d start a post as a centralized place to keep them.  Not a comprehensive list by far, but I wanted to get this started. I’ll keep adding periodically, so feel free to bookmark/whatever.

UNSUNG REDDIE FIC RECS

heaven isn’t too far away by @reddieforlove

AU. I am an Absolute Sucker for any fic where one person has mental or emotional blocks around sex and turns to the other person to lovingly guide them through it.  And this does it so, so, so fucking well.  According to the author, it was deeply personal for them to write, and it shows--and frankly, it was deeply personal for me to read, and it really affected me.  It’s also joyful and super fucking hot and just wonderful. 

with or without you by @bitchin-eds (aka alliegaga on AO3 - you changed your name!)

AU. WIP. Eddie and Bev co-host a radio show where Eddie gives advice to call-in listeners. Eddie is a recovering alcoholic and Richie is an escort, though it’s not the focus of this fic, at least not so far, which is pretty refreshing and interesting. We drop into this story with a Richie and Eddie With History, and I CANNOT GET ENOUGH. Everything this author writes is SUPER emotionally effective, but this is probably my favorite. The inner life of the characters is written super well. Bonus Bev/Eddie friendship <3 

all i wanna do is go home with you (but i know i’m out of my mind) by wishie

Flawless, classic Reddie realizing their feelings for each other fic. Eddie POV. Just... wonderful. Excerpt:

“Love you,” Richie says sleepily, and Eddie pauses, a little more awake, because Richie hasn’t said that to him since they were seven at least.

“Love you too?” Eddie says cautiously. Richie beams.

“Cute, cute, cute,” he says, reaching out and pulling Eddie into his arms. “So cute. Did you know my best friend Eddie is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen? So cute. Even though he’s mean and pushes me off the bed.” He buries his nose in the top of Eddie’s head. “Love him to death.”

Eddie’s eyes are wide, searching for something, anything, through the darkness. Darkness. He’s thankful it’s dark. His cheeks are hot and he thinks he just might die and it’ll be all Richie’s fault.

In Over Your Chest is Way Too Deep by @speakslowtellmelove

That Surfing AU. WIP. Seriously, I think speakslow writes the best Richie; everything out of his mouth just crackles, and all their stories would be worth it for how he’s written alone, but everything else is so wonderfully spot-on too. On top of that, this is just a Delightful slow burn UST situation that makes my heart and my loins go pitter-patter.  Plus, sexy beachy times. (I love a golden, confident Eddie.)

Lipstick by @trash-the-tozier (aka littleboxesofstars on AO3)

AU. I tend to love everything by this author, so check out their other work, too!  While Richie’s trying to convince his parents he Isn’t Gay, he just happens to spot an in-drag Eddie across the street and, thinking he’s actually a girl, stops him and asks him to do him a favor by posing as his girlfriend.  You start this one expecting all the cliches, but the author avoids every single one and writes something genuine, effective, and honoring both characters as multidimensional humans.  Really unexpected and well done. +side Stenbrough

stop calling, stop calling (i don’t wanna talk anymore) by ironicallyinternational

Awesomely in character Richie, and Eddie’s confession of feelings is one of the best I’ve read in the fandom. 

Eddie Chronicles by @nb-richie (shipit) 

Angsty as hell Eddie character study, heed the warnings. Gorgeously written.

Telephone by @themightychipmunk

AU. Based on one of the storylines in the film New York, I Love You. Richie is a composer for anime films, and Eddie is the assistant to the director--who often calls him to give notes on the director (Ben)’s behalf. God, I love a neurotic Richie and a (mostly) calm, collected Eds.

youth by oakshields

I’ll just rec this by copying and pasting one of my favorite parts: Richie had shut him up by grabbing the boys smaller face in his hands, bringing his lips in so close Eddie was convinced Richie was going to kiss him. His lips had parted, just slightly, in shock (or anticipation) and oh shit what the fuck, what the - Richie blew the smoke from his lungs right into Eddie's face, right through his parted lips. Eddie had coughed from the shock of it and Richie had laughed, this crazy and beautiful sound and ran his thumb over Eddie's cheekbone before letting go.

Shed Your Skin and Expose Your Bones by @namingtheruins (inoubliable on AO3)

Honestly, I would rec this author’s entire oeuvre, as it doesn’t get nearly enough love and it’s always motherfucking consistent. 

This one takes a simple premise - Richie takes Eddie’s virginity - and makes it impossibly sweet and hot and hits you right in the fucking feels. Richie is sweet and concerned, and Eddie is inexperienced yet bold and demanding, and I am here. for. it.

only love could ever hit this hard by @reddieforlove

I fucking love a bottom Richie, and this is exceptionally well done. 

Careful Creature Made Friends with Time by @namingtheruins (inoubliable on AO3)

AU. Selkie!Eddie. Gorgeously written, like a fairytale. Just lovely. 

Scorpion Grasses by @pimpedoutgreenears

Mostly canon compliant, follows the Losers through the end of high school and Eddie and Sonia moving to NY. This fic fucking GUTTED me, especially the last chapter, which focuses on all the Losers anticipating forgetting each other and Eddie PREPARING to forget everyone. I was a bucket of tears the whole time I read it. This will break your heart, and if you relate to Eddie’s relationship with his mother (like I do), it will kill you, be forewarned. Super, super effective. 

takes one to know one by @trash-the-tozier (littleboxesofstars on AO3)

Another perfect, classic Reddie realizing their feelings fic. Canon divergent, in that Richie joins the Losers later than in book/movie canon. 

*Aged up-30s/40s-Reddie* recs

Lovesong by the wonderful @waxagentwrites - a sprawling, novel-length WIP that spans decades.  The latest section of the series (Seven Nation Army) takes place with all the Losers around 40 and receiving the dreaded phone calls from Mike.  Canon divergent and what that means for the canon major character deaths is still TBD, but there’s PTSD/Pennywise stuff all up in here.  Even if that’s not your jam, this is beyond worth it for the amazing characterization, writing, and breathtaking aged up established Reddie, who are soulmates and intensely in love and just can’t get enough of each other.

*Seriously, this is my #1 Reddie fic by far - it hits every emotional note, and it is an Event whenever it updates. I drop anything and everything to read it. It’s that good. 

Reunion by @richie-trashbrak (whyyyy can’t I tag you) :(

Slightly canon divergent. Richie returns to reunite with the Losers and face It again. Eddie’s closeted and in an unhappy marriage to Myra.

give the past a slip by brodayhey

Canon divergent. Gets me right in the feels. On his way to a live show for his popular podcast, Richie stumbles into a person from his past (Eddie), and they remember each other. Excerpt: Richie bent his head to kiss Eddie again. Eddie walked him forward, so that his back hit the wall. It was cold through his tee shirt. They kissed fiercely, Eddie biting on his lips, hard. The remember me was felt, not said.

Fight Club by @namingtheruins (aka inoubliable on AO3) - part of a much larger, wonderful series Skin&Earth - this is *canon compliant*, and as their tag says, you know what that means. Get ready to cry.

[respheal]

Two years of Galebound

Hey guys, Res here! Long spiel ahead because I’m getting personal and long-winded here. Full text after the cut to spare your dash.

tl;dr: A brief history of Galebound’s development and my experiences with telling a story, joining a community, depression, and living inside my characters’ heads for two solid years.

[cut]

So I was working on page 103 early last month (yeah, the week page 103 was due to go up aaaahhahahaha -cries-) when I realized what was coming up: the second anniversary of Galebound’s start as a webcomic. The exact date of the anniversary is a little nebulous. The decision to make it a webcomic was made on 4/20/16 when I completed drawing the concept art for all the main characters (which I had set as a prerequisite for going on the hare-brained adventure) and drew what would become the title page. The first page was published on Smack Jeeves (where galebound.com is hosted) on 5/14/16. So the birthday of the webcomic is somewhere between those dates but I’m going to consider it to be 5/14, which is why I’m rambling about it today. I want to talk a bit about Galebound’s history and what it means to me.

Galebound was originally a short story called Noblesse Oblige. It was written in first person POV from Conan’s perspective and published on DeviantArt back in 2007 or so. I really wish I could find that original draft because I bet it’s wonderfully terrible. I didn’t really know what I was doing with the story at the time--Conan was an untrusting jerk, Din was an arrogant troll, and Pascal was downright unhinged. The basic mechanics of the Obligation were there (simply that Noblemen could command Magicians), but that was about it.

I pants’d the story until it got to--well, just after this point actually. The conclusion of the battle on the bridge, and then I stopped. I don’t entirely remember why. But the story stuck around in the back of my mind while I met new friends (Hi, Skypernauts!), went to college, moved across the country, met my first boyfriend, got my first job, met my future husband, and casually worked on developing an RPGMaker game in my spare time (That RPG is called Memory and that story will likely get turned into a comic eventually as well).

While I was working on Memory’s battle system, I had the thought: how would I convert Noblesse Oblige into an RPG? The magic system would probably have to be something like the field generator from the original .hack games: string together words for a certain field or, in this case, magic. That way the command side of the Obligation would be integrated into the gameplay.

I played around with that idea for a bit longer, but ultimately decided it wouldn’t work; there was a major design flaw with the game. I can’t say what that flaw was because figuring out the solution to the design flaw led to the realization of a huge twist in NO’s story. I had to get this story out. Now.

Around this time I had abandoned RPG-making (because making nice maps is a PITA), so I took Noblesse Oblige through a JulyNoWriMo (NaNoWriMo, just in July). This time I took the story through Norin, Evenheim, the bridge, and on to Cymaria and beyond, compelled as if by Obligation. I accomplished my goal of 50k words, but the story still wasn’t complete. I slowed down the writing process and kept at it, but I also wanted to share the story so badly.

And uh...well. No one was interested in beta reading it except one friend, when time allowed. My fiance made an attempt, but didn’t get very far (He tried though, bless him, and said that although the beginning was rough--lord was it ever--it picked up eventually). In his eternal patience, my fiance at least let me spill the whole story at him. He didn’t like parts of it, mainly some things that happen around the midpoint and Din as a character in general (Din was a bit more actually evil back then). But he listened to the story as a whole, which was a lot more support than I felt anyone else had given the project at the time (Thanks, Mike <3). He also made a hell of a lot of puns about the ending of it, but in fairness the ending does lend itself to a lot of puns. It’ll blow you away (ba-dum-tsh).

I started getting really frustrated. There was this story that I just had to tell, but seemingly no one who would listen. I’d put a couple chapters up on Wattpad or Tablo, but got no feedback there (and didn’t learn until much later that those sites are miserable for anything that isn’t romance). An excuse would be that I wanted to know if this project had any sort of worth and if I should continue with it, but real talk: I wanted validation. I know better now what was happening then, but...well, hindsight.

While this was going on, I posted this illustration in the NaNoWriMo forums, the first drawing I had done in about two years or so.

No comments for a bit, but one day I was browsing through the thread and noticed someone quoted me and responded, asking if I was doing a webcomic. Um...No? I had tried making a webcomic before, but it was a LOT of work and I figured it wouldn’t be something I would have time for now.

Buuuuuuuuut the seed was planted. At this point I had determined the reason no one was interested in reading my rough novel was because A) the writing must be terrible (it kind of was) and B) nobody ain’t got time for reading books. So maybe this story could be told and find its audience as a webcomic. But only if I could draw ALL of the main and secondary characters. I would have to draw them hundreds of times, so no point in trying if I couldn’t even draw them all once.

Suffice to say, I succeeded. And the comic began under the new name Galebound.

Even as the comic went up, however, the need for validation persisted. I meticulously tracked subscription counts and likes and faves and everything, craving proof that people were reading this story. It got better as the story went on and some events did provide temporary boosts (Like Galebound getting featured on a “Top Five New Comics” list from Top Web Comics -excited screaming- and I met a new friend who I could talk to about the story and she actually read the monstrosity that was the first draft), but, well...

So, long story short: I was suffering from clinical depression with all that entails, and did for quite a while. Still am, technically. Just well managed now (yaaaaaay therapy and medication). It’s funny because I can pick out the pages it was hitting me the hardest because Conan was super bummed in those pages too.

I guess what I’m saying here is that this story was a big part of my life during some of the hardest and darkest times of my life.

I’m doing better now (see: aforementioned medication and therapy). Really I’m lucky because I see and talk to other webcomic artists who have similar struggles and similar feelings and the same reactions when sad or disappointing things happen and I want to suggest they get professional help when I recognize the signs of depression in them, but I realize I’m extremely fortunate in that I even had the opportunity to get the medical attention I needed. (I will recommend up and down all day long that if you’re suffering from depression and have the opportunity to see a doc about it, do so. For years I had tricked myself into thinking it wasn’t that bad even when...it was.)

There were good things, too. I met new friends and joined a community of other webcomic creators. I contributed to some drama in the community in an attempt to hold our publishing platforms accountable. I created a website to help webcomic readers and creators. I attended my first convention as an artist (and actually sold a sticker and a booklet! Woo!) and by the time this gets published I’ll have attended my second. Galebound has gained a small fanbase and I’m so proud of how clever the readers are. Seriously, you all keep me on my toes.

Regarding the story itself, Galebound is, by my estimates, about a fifth of the way through the full story, which means it will likely run for about ten years total if things don’t speed up (and I really want to speed things up). If you consult the Blake Snyder Beat Sheet, we’re somewhere in “The Debate”, that debate being “Who is Din and can he be trusted?”

Spoiler alert (warning: song with explicit language)

The whole concept of the Obligation stems from the dichotomy of what one wants to do versus what one feels compelled to do. That could be taking over the family business, going to college, going to church, even choosing a life partner based on expectations as opposed to one’s true feelings--as a character will say in the future, “not all Obligations are magic.” This sort of Obligation is something I think a lot of people face, and something Conan, too, will face throughout the course of the story.

Galebound is also about redemption and forgiveness. There are characters who have made terrible mistakes and decisions in the name of hatred and prejudice, and those who have brought harm to others out of sheer ignorance. It’s about self-worth and purpose. It’s about friendship and reconciliation. It’s about platonic and familial love. It’s about duty...and obligations.

It’s complicated, but “simple stories are inherently false. Life is complicated, and perspective matters.”

To sort of go into Conan and Din’s headspace a bit as they are now, they’re not in a good place emotionally, and it’s soon to get worse (because a certain someone Can’t Follow Instructions). They will hit rock bottom, but after that...well, there’s no place left to go but up? After this chapter, both of them will be reeling from mistakes made in the recent and distant past, but these events--as well as what will happen with the next few days--will put them in a place to rethink everything.

Long story short, I’m excited for what’s to come, but when am I not?

Anyway, that’s my spiel. Thanks for reading and for reading Galebound! My goals for it this year are to finish the first volume, start editing some of the earlier pages in preparation for printing, get a few chapters of the novel written (again), and get to the turn into act two. I’m actually so hyped for the turn I’ve edited this paragraph a millions times to keep myself from dropping even hints of spoilers because wow I want to talk about it.

So I better stop.

Thanks again for reading and Galespeed! <3

Links

Read Galebound here: galebound.com Prints and Stickers: store.synestories.com Social Media: Twitter | Facebook Support: Ko-Fi | Patreon

[theradicalfishdoctor]

Levihan Fanfiction Favorites

I know this is a little late, but thanks for 200 followers <3

I probably could never express in words how much I love these fics, and I apologize if my thoughts are a bit all over the place or don’t make any sense, but I just want to tell you guys why I love these so much as best as I can!  (っ˘ω˘ς )

I literally had to stop myself from going into detail about why I love every sentence of all these fanfics.

Thank you authors for writing these masterpieces!

Not in any particular order:

Ocean Talks - by kindredghosts

One of my favorites of all time -This fic takes place after the events of chapter 90, and features Hange and Levi having a talk together after a year of avoiding each other over Levi’s decision to give Armin the serum instead of Erwin.

There were so many moments (and a few that made me laugh too) that really pulled on my heartstrings and I really hope a discussion of this sort is explored in canon. 

Spoilers 

I love how they portray Levi and Hange’s bond/relationship. Levi and Hange are so tense with each other at first, because of their lack of communication, but as soon as they open up to each other and are honest, they are back to their old selves again and start teasing each other like they always have. Having that talk and being honest with each other caused them to feel relieved and at peace, which I think really helps show how close they are. There are also many points in the fic where their understanding in each other and bond of trust is displayed which to me is something that is a crucial part of their relationship.

This piece also has one of my favorite fanfic endings as well it was too cute. And that ending dialogue “We will protect each other.” hits me in the feels every time I read it.

End of Spoilers

Aftermath - by  just_quintessentially_me

I immediately knew after reading the summary, that this was going to be one of the best things I’ve ever read. This fic takes place after Bertholdt and Reiner reveal themselves as the Colossal and Armored Titan and attack the wall. Levi is on his way to the wall when poor Pastor Nick (understandably) confuses Hange as Levi’s wife when he sees him growing worried about her fate. This is a piece that really feels like a part of the actual series, and had comedic elements as well that were flawlessly written. They completely nailed the personalities of the characters which was amazing. The last thing I will say before the spoilers below is that this made me appreciate Pastor Nick on a whole new level.

Spoilers

First off,  Levi’s utter disbelief and confusion with the pastor’s mistake and growing frustration when Nick just did not understand that they weren’t a couple was truly hilarious. Although the way Levi was worrying about Hange so much (which was adorable by the way) and how they always act like a married couple when they are together, I wouldn’t blame the pastor at all for thinking they were married. And actually in a way, the discussion between Pastor Nick and Levi kind of leads to Levi opening up and realizing his feelings for Hange.

When Hange finds out the pastor wants to marry them after he interrupted their couple-like discussion, Levi’s feelings are revealed. This moment made my heart burst because they both knew they loved each other, but the heart-breaking thing was that they simply could not bring themselves to say anything. They both are characters that aren’t good with words as is seen in the series. In the fic, they confess their feelings to each other using actions which I think is something that fits both their character’s perfectly. And they understand each other so they both know what the other means. Seriously though, another one of the most memorable things I’ve ever read is this part: “I’ve always-....she splayed her fingers where her palm rested, directly over his heart.” She couldn’t say it and neither could Levi, but Levi understands what she means and returns the gesture.

I love how Hange says that for them, it was a sort of proposal (my heart was hit with a case of the feels when Levi brought up the idea of having a private marriage ceremony), because Levi and Hange don’t have the luxury of being able to say  “I love you” because of how their world is, but they don’t really need to because what they have is enough for them.

But seriously, Pastor Nick basically caused Levihan to be canon. Thank you Pastor Nick.  (￣ω￣)

End of Spoilers

All of Me - by JulyStorms

In this piece, Hange encounters an unconscious Levi while fleeing from Titans. . She fights to keep them alive, and soon Mike arrives to help but he only has enough resources to save one of them.

Let’s just say this piece gave me an overwhelming amount of feels and has one of the most unforgettable scenes that I’ve ever read.

Spoilers

Hange knew she was going to die when she sent Levi with Mike, but she wanted so badly for Levi to survive, and begged Mike to save him. Hange’s desperation for Levi to live was really beautifully written. Man that's true love right there.(T_T) This scene was heartbreaking for me because of Levi’s helplessness. He was so injured that he didn’t have the ability to stop her.  I personally see Levi as a character that strongly desires to have control in his life and I feel like the fact that he couldn’t do anything was devastating to him. 

It hit me hard when Levi lost it after waking up in the medical wing. It was written so that you can hear the raw fear in his voice. He knew she wasn’t alright but he didn’t know what happened. When he found out she was presumed dead he wanted to go back to look for a body. (and her wings) And my lord it was so sad when Levi kept calling out to Hange as if he expected her to respond. That line where he announces she is officially dead; it was written so well because I feel like it shows that Levi is emotionally broken and struggling to retain his normal stoic composure.

The scenes where we see Levi struggling to deal with Hange’s passing are something that feel really impactful. The way I interpreted Levi’s feelings based on my own interpretations of him is that he has been so lonely his whole life that once his loneliness is replaced with feelings of love and comfort that if that were to be taken away from him it would break him, and I think that’s what happened to him when he believed Hange died. 

End of Spoilers

Heart-bites - by Huntress_of_Life

This is a parental Levihan fanfiction from Levi’s p.o.v., in which he experiences a type of feeling he doesn’t know how to deal with.

Parental feels are something that really hits home for me. I remember looking for a piece like this for a long time, and this was so perfect, and so beautifully written that I was sobbing by the end of it. (and I don’t cry often) The characterization was just right and Levi’s anxiety and emotions could strongly be felt. Every time I read this piece I swear I start crying or at least tear up.  I won’t say too much about this one, because I think the best way to explain why this is such a beautiful piece is just to go read it.

Spoilers

Levi has dealt with so much loss and pain in his life, that the pure joy he feels when his child is born clashes with his stoic mentality and he thinks something is wrong with his heart. I think the fact that he believes something is wrong with his heart also has to do with the fact that he had an extreme lack of affection as a child. He isn’t used to feelings of love. He is so anxious to confront his feelings, but when he thinks of Hange and their journey together, his walls start coming down, and his heart sings thinking about his new family. 

Once he holds his daughter, he is completely relaxed, because he realizes his anxiety came from wanting to see her so badly. (This is the part where my floodgates broke) At the end Hange wakes up and of course she reads him like an open book, not only because their bond is so strong, but also because I can only imagine how happy Levi would look.

End of Spoilers

This piece was one of the most touching and precious things I’ve ever read, omg I’m internally crying just thinking about it

More Cute Levihan Fanfics

I apologize if I don’t have much to say about these, but I love them just as much <3

Never Normal with Us - by WhatHistoryForgets

Another Parental Levihan fic, in which the titans are defeated, and Levi just wants his children to have a normal life. And oh my lord I love this piece because I personally think that since Levi grew up in such terrible conditions that he’d work hard to make his children feel as loved as possible even though he may be pretty awkward about it.

also lmao I thought it was perfect how Erwin is the uncle figure

Turn - by ConfusedMuse

In this piece, Hange and Levi attend a military fundraiser ball and Levi sees a different side of Hange.

Amazing characterization for Hanjo in here

I really hope someone makes fanart of Hange in that uniform

When Forever Rolls on Through, I'll be Holding On to You - by LesboDyke

A piece in which Levi receives Hange’s jacket, and after a tragedy, reads through her journals. This fic ripped my heart out.

Spoilers

They were married ;-;

The way they said goodbye was just so… them. They’re such abnormals.          (｡T ω T｡)  It was perfect and cute and I died.

And then I loved the way Levi just knew something was wrong. I think it’s an Ackerman thing to have the ability to instantly know when their loved ones are in danger.

Another thing is that like in the manga, Hange is non-binary, and I love how when someone refers to Hange as a “she” Levi is quick to correct them. This ties into one of my favorite things about Levihan, (although everything about Levihan is great) that Levi and Hange have so much respect for each other, and that Levi wants to make sure that Hange gets the respect they deserve.

The ending killed me. (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ

End of Spoilers

Unexpected Fairytales & The Kitten Smith Chronicles - by raisedinthunder

I love raisedinthunder’s writing.  ( ´ ▽ ` ) A ton of perfect fluffy fics to read after a bad day or just after reading a really sad piece. I reread these all the time because my gosh they make me so happy.

Dancing Under a Blue Moon - by Stratagem

Yet another Parental Levihan fic (I love these)

In this fic, Hange and their daughter work together to get Levi to dance with them

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS FIC WAS PERFECT

I feel like this piece really shows how much Levi’s family means to him. Also, I just wanted to mention that I died immediately when reading the beginning of this piece simply because they described the Levihan family as “The Ackermans” and I think picturing the words “Hange Ackerman” was too much for my heart to handle.

[decoding1432]

Parents & Friends

Some stans have picked sides due to the parent’s behaviour on SM. Just the way some reflect all the hate collected from other stans onto the girls, it’s the same deal when it comes to their parents. Due to the fact that certain people can’t stand them, they decide to whether unstan or throw shit at the girls for it.

If you don’t think all these subtle shade going on is done with a purpose, try to give it a second thought.

The thing with this whole “shading” is that we've got two viewpoints:

From Camila’s side we saw how her parents stopped acknowledging the group & this happened since the fighting days. Now, let's put ourselves in the Cabellos’ shoes for a moment:

Imagine one day your daughter & her bandmates are played such a dirty trick & they cut communication. (Yes, I still believe this is how all went down). Anyway back to our scenario, now thanks to this they are not on speaking terms anymore. Your daughter releases her first solo project. It's important for her. However the people pulling the group strings are setting her in a very dark position. They are painting her in a very negative light in front of her fans.

Around those days, you log into your Twitter account several times & you see one fan turns against her. But as time passes by that one “fan” multiplicates & turns into 10 more haters. Then 50, then 100 & so it goes on & on. The situation worsens. Now, your daughter starts receiving hateful tweets 24/7. Your daughter starts getting sick. Her mental health state is seriously compromised but the people behind her career are doing nothing to help the situation, in fact they are making it more toxic for her. The issue with her bandmates is still not solved. The haters seem unstoppable at this point… Your daughter is mentally exhausted to a point where she describes her anxieties having anxieties.

That continues for a year. Along the way your daughter & her bandmates rekindled their bond. But it’s not all bright again since they must not give that away on camera. Another thing to add is that her bandmates are told not to defend her on SM to make the haters cease. Tell me are you happy with the brand & the poisonous environment they created around your daughter? The answer is obvious.

Let’s take a look at 5H’s angle. The way I see it, you’re a 40-50 year old & you spend your days bashing a 20 year old through Twitter... immaturity at its finest, right?

The tricky aspect here is that the parents’ wishes contradict their actions.

E.g.  The parents want hatred to stop. Some like Mama Dre have expressed it & also it’s not even necessary to have this captured on a tweet to understand. Anyhow, they want the hate to cease but they encourage haters with their comments? Logic 2+2= potato

Now, personally the moment Mike started being shady that seemed fishy af to me. We’re talking about the same person that liked C’s departure letter (apparently he unliked it a little after, not really sure). Anyway, even if he didn’t, he was always all about the five girls & one of the non-problematic ones before the mess started unraveling. It makes sense that they started using him, not only to cut all ties with Camren but to influence the stans more strongly as well.

I asked lawyerlarry if this has happened with their boys, using their relatives to mold or push the narrative. This was her answer:

Since we don’t know what type of contract the girls are under we can’t know for sure if the parents are completely obligated. However one thing is for sure, clearly as a parent you’re going to want the best for your kid.

I’m bringing back some points I’ve written about this same subject in a past masterpost…

TV anon: “The thing about the parents is that THEY ARE PARENTS so they are gonna be protective and going to support their child 100%. Now, the moment the girls became legal, the parents are off negotiations or meetings so the only thing they know is what their daughters told them (and we don’t know how restrictive the contract is or even if the girls go and spill full deets to their parents) and you are right, their behavior is very contradictory, even from parents of the same child. Example, Lauren’s parents. Her dad it’s super supportive of the 5 of them and her mom is really over the top, to be honest lol. I have seen them throwing shade and then talking about supporting the 5 of them so maybe the shade is for the label. Or at some point it was for Camila but then they got informed and realized the situation, who knows. Let’s not forget, they don’t belong to the industry so they don’t know how to handle situations like these. Such as their children, they are too emotional. The parents and friends subject is tricky, cause who knows how much they know/or don’t know.”

Every single time I get worried I might be overthinking I return to the question told above: If they know they are only worsening their situation & attracting more toxicity toward their daughters why would they continue with this childish behaviour? Also the girls are not stupid, cause even if these were truly their parents’ actions don’t doubt they wouldn’t stop them.

Once more, this applies to their parents. When it comes to other relatives like Leilani, we're completely unaware of how close she's or not with Dinah, let alone the rest of the girls. She could be throwing shade in order to help them or simply she’s an attention seeker. For all we know a) she could have been told an alternate story along the way b) she is acquainted with only a very small part of the truth c) nothing at all & she knows just as much as we do.

When it comes to friends, let alone not their closest friends, we can coincide that they surely don’t know the story from head to toe but since they’re familiar with the girls at a certain extent they claim to for the sake of rts & attention. Dealing with the parents topic is ambiguous. “I think the parents ought to know everything, don’t fool yourself, why would the girls keep things from them?” Believe it or not, there’s always possibility. Here I consider a list of reasons why it COULD be true:

TV anon couldn’t have said it better…

When the girls became legal, procedures & regulations on the entertainment business gave a 180 degrees turn.

Non-disclosure agreements are a common thing in the industry.

Thus far none of the girls has shaded each other. Although, other people have accomplished a fraction of this “dirty work” for them. Such as friends, crew team members, & their parents. What I’ve caught on this culmination of “bitterness” is that it’s quite contradictory. To elaborate: Lucy shaded Camila around two or three weeks later by liking one IG post that was referring to C as “Canola”. What I found funny is how less than a month before, Lucy literally appeared on Dinah’s livestream hanging with her & Camila at their bus.

When I wrote that, the BB 5H issue hadn’t come out yet. Also these past few days, Lucy has publicly shown her support for Camila on SM. Also let’s add, she isn’t the only connection from Lauren that’s been doing this lately...

Now, some of LAND’s friends have publicly supported C. To me, it hints at the bigger picture that the ladies are in good terms. Some of you might disagree, maybe you consider they’re not friends any longer. Fine that’s your POV, but I don’t share that perspective. Not because I refuse to let go OT5 or anything remotely similar, but like I’ve said numerous times before, the fact that the girls knew about C leaving since 2015 & all the moments we had along 2016 I consider it a sign that they were able to somewhat fix whatever issues they had a year before.

Even if you agree or not with me on their current friendship status, you can’t deny the following: LAND doesn’t speak badly about Camila bts unlike what media wants to make us believe.

(Fun fact: Josh liked the following two days after the split announcement)

Enough with Josh (he stans Camila hard lol) Let’s check the rest of their friends...

I would insert here the videos of Simone & Sydney jamming to CITC, unfortunately I couldn’t download them but that doesn’t me we must not take them into account as well.

Next one might not be recent but reminder that Normani wrote as part of those thoughts: “I have love and respect for all four of my bandmates whether you choose to believe it or not” “I have to address foolishness manufactured by those that have absolutely no idea what goes on” “For those who enjoy speculating and creating drama that doesn’t exist, please keep in mind that myself and the other girls in the group are PEOPLE” etc...

Out of all their friends or people they’ve worked with, in my opinion, when Angie (their temporary guitarist after Ashlee left) commented on C’s IG post is the one proof that I would take over any of the above to pinpoint that THIS...

...doesn’t reflect any of THIS...

In conclusion, I believe that the relatives & some friends are attempting to help the girls as much as they can. I repeat, it’s uncertain how much the girls are allowed to tell them. But some things are undeniably true... They (parents & friends) know how fucked up this business is, they have seen how much the 5 ladies have struggled in these past years. If there’s something they can’t do, is stop this madness. They can’t break the system, they can’t protect them from this industry. But they can try to fulfill part of the “dirty work”, otherwise I’m sure it would have to come directly from the girls. Don’t judge them, they are willing to do anything if it means taking some of the burden off of the girls’ shoulders. How do I know this latter? Cause I might only be a fan but I would do it too.

Question: if you had a friend or a relative in they industry, would you doubt putting yourself in the spotlight for a second in order to give them a hand?

P.S. Alejandro liked Clara’s “shady” tweet that was supposedly aimed at Camila.

[holeybubushka]

Excellent fan fiction in progress

Ok as some of you know I am an avid reader of Until Dawn fiction. I just love it. I appreciate the time, effort, thought and love that goes into writing these stories.  Seriously, people post these things...FOR FREE and while I understand the urge the write is sometimes overwhelming I’m still struck by what an awesome gift that is (obviously the same goes to those who make edits (ping @maquillagebookmark and her awesome vines) and gifs etc - I am technologically inept so please know I am SUPER in awe of you guys). However, there are a slew of amazing stories out right now that I urge you all to read whenever you have some spare time.

The story that prompted me to write this is actually a gorgeous Sam and Jess story by @kayleen756894 called You’re Beautiful.  It’s set a month after the game and Sam and Jess are working through their trauma together. The characterisation is superb. Sam is pouring all her energies into Jess to run away from her own demons and Jess’ insecurities and feelings of self loathing is in overdrive. But it’s a gorgeous, and, spoiler, uplifting story. Anyone who likes UD femmeslash (and I KNOW I’m not the only one - ping @duskfalling ). I can’t recommend it enough. Please give it a read.

ALSO my pal @transchrishartley is writing an EPIC Sath story. Like...I can’t put into words how gorgeous this is. Not only is the story kinda hilarious (Beth is her usual grumpy self and Chris spends an inordinate amount of time pestering her. Comedy ensues) but the nascent relationship between Sam and Beth is so healthy and lovely and fun and sweet all wrapped into one (they’re basically married couple without noticing.) Sam in particular is beautifully realized which is hard since she is not the POV character. Just...if you like Sath, or any story where the central pairing is healthy and strong but it’s everyone else around them causing the drama, then you must read it (especially if you like something fluffier than say, Hannah’s Game, which is still my equal favourite story in fandom but it s little angsty and not as kind to Beth as his current story).

Also if you like Sath and excellent Beth characterizations (and check my posts, I read a lot of Sath, folks) then you’ve also gotta check out both @bigcatchuck19 and @sammygiddings stories. They’re very different. The first is about a first date between Sam and Beth and is hilarious not only because Beth is extremely nervous and extremely frustrated and prone to, er, adorable blunders, but it also features Beth interacting with her siblings and you can’t do a Beth story without heavily featuring Josh and Hannah. It’s lovely and will make you smile and possibly whack that walking human disaster Josh Washington on the back of the head.

My pal @sammygiddings story is angsty but oh so good. The premise is - what would happen if Sam went after Hannah instead of Beth? What’s left is still a shattered family and Beth almost feels hollowed out (what with losing her twin and gf). She’s still Beth though, so with all the rage she is also fiercely protective, loyal and loving . Also kudos to what is an exceptional characterisation of Mike. He’s his smarmy, charming, brave and arrogant best in this and reading their grumpy buddy cop dynamic is really fun.

Last one (for NOW) is the oddest on the list. It’s a Mike story (shocking I know) about him grappling with what happens after the Lodge called the Cave by (I hope I’m right here) @montparnasse. He goes back to find Josh (although I’m not sure that’s his driving purpose) and what he discovers is definitely not what I was expecting. Look, I clicked on this because it had Sam hooking up with a girl and I am TRASH for queer Sam content but the slow burn relationship between Josh and Mike is a thing of beauty. Raw, rough and complicated. Neither of the guys are woobies at all and it doesn’t airbrush their flaws (Mike is kinda a dick to Jess). It’s also VERY slow burn, and fleshes out both Mike and Josh before attempting anything even remotely romantic. It also has a truly great OC. Like, Shae is amazing and steals every scene she is in. I like her so much I HOPE she is the one who Sam gets with cause they would be epic.

That’s it for now. I’ll do another post with some more fic recs (as well as a tag for my favourite fics - might need some tumblr help there). ALSO because I am SHAMELESS and I enjoy plugging my own stuff, me and the incredibly talented @gratuitousitalics have written an Until Dawn vampire story called Sundown Girls. It starts off focusing on the twins and Sam but all the characters are involved and they all have a major part to play. While the beginning is a little angsty it will have both dark and light and also loads of GAY (like, so much) as well as Matt/Hannah because I am way down the rabbit hole with that one. Give it a read and if you like it please press kudos or even review it will make me happy and less likely to whine to my co author (which I’m sure she appreciates). 

[there-willbeblood]

Chapter 11: War of the Roses

NATALIA'S POV

I looked up at the ceiling of my dorm room and tried to count sheep but my brain wouldn't shut down.

It was Monday night, three days after I last saw Steve and I was still mulling over every detail in my head.

Why is it that every single time I try to be good, really good, it always blows up in my face? I had made an effort to keep away from Steve in my thoughts all of last week. I couldn't really control what I dreamed about but that was a different story. I had tried to keep my thoughts pure of his devilish looks but he found me.

I didn't know if it was purposeful or not but Steve didn't seem as shocked to see me as I was to see him. He kind of acted the same way he did at the fountain. Like everything was planned and he was trying to have an end goal with me. He made that known when he slipped me his business card and basically recruited me to join his harem but it was all just a game to him.

Maybe it was for me as well but somewhere deep in my blood, I knew that this attraction I had for Steve was more than just physical. Of course, with a man like that, there was no changing him and it wasn't my job to try. If he just wanted sex then I wasn't going to deny him, That's what I would love to say but I wasn't some slut who slept with a man she just met last week.

Besides, Steve wasn't worth it.

I wasn't looking for a relationship per se but that was better than a roll in the hay one time before getting dumped on my ass. Even as I was saying it, I could feel my mental walls crumbling. I was walking a very thin line that was a dangerous one. I had to make sure to stay away from Steve because he could trap me, let me fall into his web and I couldn't afford that.

If I took his game seriously, I could end up getting really hurt.

I didn't want to sound like some weak, hormonal girl who didn't know that she was getting played but Steve was a hard catch to deny. I could even see that. He was majestic in his movements, sexual in everything he did. His walk, his speech, his hair, his fingers, his eyes. Oh God, his eyes were the killer, those things would take me down without a doubt.

His whole persona was about conquering women and making them his. I bet he had a list as long as the Great Wall but none of them would mean more to him than a quick fuck.

I rubbed my eyes and thought for a second what it must be like to live in his shoes.

What the hell kind of man was he that he had to bang a different girl every night?

I had a solid background in psychology since I wanted to be one for all my life until I realized that my money situation didn't allow me to spend six years in school. I had studied books and spent a good amount of time reading up on human brains.

From my experience or lack thereof, I would probably deter that Steve had insecurity issues just like the guys in high school. Or maybe Steve had been turned down so much in his younger years that he was trying to make up for it now. He was obviously narcissistic, egotistical and in need of constant attention.

What if someone turned the tables on him?

"That would be priceless." I laughed to myself, thinking about how taken off guard he would be.

If I was strong enough for it, I would lead him on and give into his advances but at the very last second, flip out and switch to positions, making me the dominant one. He would probably be floored but that would only make him want me more. What I wouldn't give for that. For him to want me like I wanted him? My libido would never catch up.

I would let him play his tricks with me, thinking that he was winning but the whole time, I would have the upper hand.

"Why can't I? I could pull this off." I muttered out loud.

I would lure him in. Maybe I would sleep with him, maybe I wouldn't but I would be the one to chose how this would play out, not him. I could leave him high and dry or I could go all the way, which I probably would but not before making him suffer. He was going to have to chase me and I would make him work for it. What the hell was he going to do with himself once he realized I wasn't as easy as the rest of his big titted, whores. Poor Steve.

I knew my plan was bitchy and incredibly mean but it was guys like Steve that made me sick. I wouldn't have even given him the time of day if he wasn't so drop dead gorgeous. With the way he acted, it was like an automatic turn off. Maybe I couldn't change him but I could sure give him a dose of his own medicine.

He probably thought that I was some withering flower who would just fall on my knees for him and I hate to admit that I probably would have if he wasn't such a jerk.

He had probably always been in control but he had never met Natalia Romanov. To be perfectly honest, I didn't have that much experience in dating but I learned a few things over the years dealing with high school douche bags. Mike also taught me a lot and since we never had any kind of real relationship, he used every trick in the book on me to try to get me to sleep with him until I eventually caved. I would have to thank him the next time we talked.

That night, for the first time in a week, I actually slept a full eight hours without moving or dreams of Steve.

When my alarm clock beeped at seven, I stretched and detected a small smile on my lips.

If I could keep up my act, Steve was going to get played like nothing he had ever experienced.

I had a certain bounce in my step as I got out of bed, went to take a quick shower and then found something to wear for the day. Maybe it was the fact that I had a new found mission or maybe it was the fact that Alice had all but wiped out my closet, but I wanted to wear something new and nice.

I chose a pair of dark washed, skinny jeans and a light green, short sleeved Polo that was starched and clean. I was tempted to wear a pair of the heels Alice had bought me just to show her that I could but decided against that. I just pulled on a simple pair of Keds and then brushed through my hair.

By the time I was done getting ready and had all my stuff together, it was time to meet Alice for breakfast downstairs. I threw my backpack over my shoulders and went out of the door, heading towards the elevator with more vigor than I had experienced since I got here.

I made it downstairs and found Wanda sitting on a bench outside of the dining hall with a book in hand.

"Hi, don't talk. I have to finish this page." She said quickly as we continued to walk.

I noticed that she was reading Pride and Prejudice, one of my favorites but I followed her orders. We went through a line filled with bagels and morning pastries. I picked up things for the both of us since Wanda was busy with her studying. She shut the book when we sat down at a table and then let out a deep breath.

"I have a huge test today but I think I've got it in the bag."

"That sounds promising." I took a bite of a danish.

Wanda eyed me suspiciously, "Okay, what's going on? You look…different."

"Nothing. I just had a great sleep last night."

"No more Steve sex dreams?"

"No. He wasn't there." I answered simply.

"Why? Did you kill him in your head?" She giggled.

"Something like that." The evil grin was back on my face but I hid it from her.

We finished breakfast quickly and then parted ways to go to our separate classes.

I went to my first math class and just sat there while the professor droned on about polynomials and easy equations. I had always been good at math so this wasn't too difficult.

Since today was Monday that meant I only had two classes, math and my literature one later on in the day. Northwestern had a weird schedule that was different from other universities in that it's packed classes were on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday schedule and those were the days when we had the most classes. Mondays and Thursdays were used by students to search for job opportunities once we got into upper level years.

I was convinced that this schedule system was just a way for students to sleep off their hangovers from the weekend but it seemed to work for the staff as well so no one was complaining.

I sat on the grass in a quad that overlooked part of the river that flowed through the campus.

Many people didn't know this but the main campus of Northwestern wasn't in Chicago but in Evanston, a suburb on the north side of the city. It was closer to downtown than some of the other suburbs of the city. It was only a ten minute cab ride to some of the sights and around this area was where the rich families lived who had old railroad money or oil deposits in Texas.

It made me slightly jealous but I got over that quickly.

I pulled out my copy of The Jungle and prepared to dive headfirst into the gore and filth of early 20th century Chicago when I felt my phone vibrate in my jeans. I had decided to start carrying it around for some reason but since I barely knew anyone, it hardly rang.

I pulled it out of my pocket and stared at the number. I didn't recognize the digits and debated for three rings on whether or not to answer it. My curiosity eventually took over and I opened the phone, holding it to my ear.

"Hello."

"Uh…hi. Is this Natalia? " I heard the smooth, cold, voice of Steve Rogers on the other side.

"Yes." I answered, my smirk from this morning back on.

This was better than I could have expected. Steve wanted me, that I knew but he had initiated contact meaning that he wanted me bad. I was about to turn his world around.

"How are you?" He asked in an awkward way.

He was nervous. Could he be nervous?

I put on an annoyed voice that I had to muster up from the depths of my throat. "I'm fine. Can I help you?"

"Uh…no. I was just wondering if you got home safely the other night."

"Yes I did, all thanks to Tony. We had a great time."

I heard him grumble something under his breath but it was indistinguishable.

He was acting like this was high school, which was perfect for my plan. I figured he had never been in this position before, therefore he didn't know how to treat me. He wanted to fuck me but didn't know how to get me that far. This was going to be fun.

"How's school going?" His voice was stronger than before and I suspected that he gave himself a little pep talk before opening his mouth again.

"Good. I'm adjusting well and I like my classes." I talked with clipped answers, like we had never had any interaction before.

"That's good…I guess."

There were a couple seconds of silence and I almost burst out laughing. This poor man had no idea what he was doing, which told me that he was used to getting what he wanted on the first go.

"Is there a reason why you called?" I asked very bitchy-like. I felt bad treating him this way but then I thought about how he treated me at the fountain, at Carmel. I wasn't a piece of trash, damn it.

"I…I…" He stammered for the right words and I thought I heard a female voice on the other end. Now that I listened harder, I could definitely hear her. I smiled and evil grin. He was being coached. Oh, he thought he was going to win. I think not!

"I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner." Steve gritted through his teeth.

"Steve, I have to go to class but I don't think so." I shut the phone before he had the chance to say anything back.

I threw my hands up in the air and lay back on the grass.

"Phase one complete." I shouted. I'm sure some people looked at me weird but at this point, I was done caring.

Steve was a persistent man and even from the few times I had met him, I could figure out that he didn't give up on challenges.

I was proven right when he called back every half hour, on the half hour for the rest of the day. I was going to accept his date but I had to hold him off and make him wait. I even thought to go as far as to bruise his ego and call him, accepting that way but that might be taking it too far. I didn't want to overstep my bounds.

I didn't let Wanda in on my little game because I knew she would jump for joy and try to weasel her way in. That would only confuse me and I needed a clear head for this. I could plan Steve's war from his side to a simple equation.

I felt like I knew him.

He was going to "play" me until I whittled down and gave in to his scams. He would then proceed to impress me with his money or charm. I would act like it was working and then he would think that he was winning. When it came to go home, he would probably believe that I was going up to bed with him but I was going to string this out for awhile and milk him for all he was worth.

My willpower wasn't that strong and in about a week or so, I would probably let him have his way with me but it was going to be on my terms. That way, neither of us would get hurt and he would get a taste of what he dishes out on a regular basis.

I felt like an evil scientist in my lap, devising plans to take over the world.

That night, after I had done a fair amount of studying and completed my routine for bed, I decided to answer when he called next, which was exactly on the dot at ten. I suspected that this was his last call of the night and if I didn't get this one, I would miss him.

I waited for a couple of seconds before answering, "Hello?"

"Natalia, is that you?" Steve sounded actually hopeful.

"Yes, sorry I haven't been answering but I was in class and then I had a study session in the library afterward. I didn't get home until about ten minutes ago."

"I was busy also so it wasn't a big deal."  He played it off, "So…how was your day?"

"Fine, nothing exciting. You?"

"It was alright. I spent most of it wondering how to ask you out again so that you won't say no." I could practically see his smirk over the phone. The Steve Rogers that I knew was back. Gone away was the awkward voice from before and in its place was arrogance.

"And have you found out a way to do that yet?"

"You're a very peculiar girl, Ms. Romanov."

"How did you know my last name?" I asked, slightly perturbed that he was winning this battle.

"I have my ways but like I was saying, you are very strange. I have to admit that I have never had to go this far for a girl before."

"I figured." I said.

"You've provided quite the challenge but I'm willing to play. I would like to take you to dinner."

"I can't…"

"Yes you can. Tomorrow. I'll pick you up."

"I don't…"

"Is eight good for you? No, I think seven would be better."

"No… I already have plans and…"

"No you don't, stop trying to fight me."

"You don't even know where I live."

"Leave that to me. I'll see you tomorrow night at seven." He hung up the phone quickly while I sat stunned with mine still on my ear.

This provided an issue.

I never expected him to come back so strongly but that was okay. I wasn't planning on letting him take me down so quickly. I probably would have really gone out with him if I didn't have to study tomorrow night. I had a massive test the next day so my excuse was legit but he never gave me a chance to explain.

I shrugged off the loss and went to bed. Once again, my dreams were void of nightmares.

I woke up the next morning and went about my schedule as normal. I was ready to go by seven-thirty and opened my door to a sight that made me blush ten times the shade of hell.

There opposite my door on the other side of the wall was a bushel of bright yellow roses situated in an elaborate crystal vase. There must have been about twenty of them stuffed in there, all in full bloom with the petals open in the most beautiful way. There was a note attached to the vase.

I slowly approached the roses and read the card.

I am looking forward to dinner tonight. You'll have to look up what yellow means in the rose world yourself.

-Steve

That was all it said and it was slightly eerie in its simplicity. I looked around the hall, and nearly called  the police.

Last I checked, we had some pretty tight security in this dorm and not just anyone could walk up. I suppose Steve could have had the night prompter at the desk downstairs bring them up but that seemed out of character for him. What the hell did I know though? I had only met the man three times.

I quickly picked the flowers up off of the floor and took them back into my room, setting them on the desk near the window.

I picked a rose out of the center of the bunch and couldn't help but smile as I pressed it to my nose.

No, Natalia!

I set it back in the bunch and assessed the situation I was in. He was good, very good. I didn't know if he was fighting this war fairly or not but I suspected he wasn't. The roses were a nice gesture and he was winning this battle as well. That I did not like.

As much as I still wanted to hate Steve, I had to admit that he was playing this game very well.

I booted up my laptop and did a simple Google search for 'yellow roses'. The main words that popped up were joy, gladness, friendship, delight but one phrase caught me off guard: promise of a new beginning.

I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth and thought for a second.

That was all it took, one second, for my walls to crumble. All these thoughts of 'what if' came into my head. What if this wasn't a game for him? What if he really did like me? What if he was trying to be a better person? What if, what if, what if…

As much talk as I was spitting, Steve either knew exactly what he was doing or had a really good coach. He was knifing his way into my brain. I had taken on a little too much for me to handle but now that I was on this train, I couldn't jump off.

"You have to stay strong. You can't fall for him." I ran my hands through my hair, "You can do this." I sighed and nodded to myself.

I turned off my computer and took another glance at the roses before leaving my room.

I met Wanda with a more subdued nature than I had yesterday.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked as we walked to the dining hall.

"I talked to Steve last night." I decided to let her in somewhat.

"Really?" She stopped walking, "What did he want?"

"He asked me out to dinner tonight." I said apprehensively.

"Oh my God. He did?"

I nodded, "And then this morning, there were some yellow roses outside of my door, in the hall. They were from him."

Wanda covered her mouth with her hand, "That is so sweet. He likes you."

"Don't jump the gun, Wanda. He treats girls like shit. I bet he does this to all of them." I said as we got in line for food. I wasn't hungry this morning so I just got orange juice.

"Still, he's making an effort. That has to mean something, right?"

"I guess." I answered.

The whole day, I was on pins and needles because I didn't know if I should call Steve and explain or just leave him hanging tonight, waiting for me to come out for our date. As much as I wanted to embarrass him that way, it just seemed like too much.

Around lunch, I called the number that he had used last night and picked at some grass that I was sitting on. I didn't really know what I was going to say but I hoped he would understand that I wasn't trying to blow him off. Well…I was…but…

I've got myself in way too deep!

Steve was a pro at this and I figured that he knew I was playing with his emotions so he decided to participate in the most confusing way. He was turning that tables on me and that was not good.

He didn't pick up when I called at lunch or an hour later when I tried so I left him a message saying that I was really sorry about foiling his plans for the night but I had a test to study for and couldn't make it. Steve didn't call me back at all that day, making my nerves go haywire.

Did he care that I couldn't make it? Had he given up on me?

It was completely insane how he had turned things around in a day. I had gone from my confident bitch-self to the confused hormonal teenager that I was.

Wanda picked my brain for the rest of the day, asking about what I was going to do. She said that I needed to forget about studying and just go out with Steve but I was a better student than that.

The only problem was that I couldn't study, not with my mind racing that night. I sat at my desk and watched as the clock on my laptop went from six-fifty nine to seven. I half expected Steve to jump through my window or knock on my door but there was nothing.

Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten.

Eleven.

Not a call or anything to tell me whether or not Steve had accepted my apology for canceling our date.

The next morning, I woke up a little more down than I had been the previous days. Before I even went about my day, something told me to check in the hallway. I jumped out of bed and nearly ripped the door off its hinges.

There, just like they were yesterday morning, were a bushel of yellow roses in another glass vase. I smiled to myself as I picked them up and brought them into my room. The note was as simple as before.

So sad that we couldn't meet up last night. Tonight, same time? If I don't hear from you then I'll assume that's a no. Good luck on your test.

-Steve

I put the flowers next to the ones from yesterday and compared them. They were both beautiful and had long stems. I picked up a yellow rose from today's batch and smelled it deeply. It was sweet and floral without being overpowering. There was still some dew on the petals meaning that they must have been delivered right before I work up.

I was about to lay the rose back in its place when a thorn from the stem, cut my index finger, drawing a small amount of red liquid. I was usually repulsed by blood, like that night at Plasma but I didn't feel any pain or uneasiness now. Instead, I let the blood run from my finger, over the full petals of the rose I was holding, staining the yellow petal a pink color.

"What are you doing to me Steve?" I asked myself and thought about the trouble he was going through for me.

I didn't realize I was such a hot commodity but I guess I was. Two bushels of roses in two days. What a risk to take for a lay that might or might not happen.

I decided before I left for the day that I would call Steve and accept his invitation to dinner.

I called as I was walking to my first class but he didn't pick up. I left a message and was suddenly giddy. I reminded myself that Steve was a complete playboy who was just trying to fuck the life out of me but I was sure that I could hold him off until I was ready. I was still planning on winning this war, no matter how sweet or falsely sweet he was being. He called me back when I was in class and I was tempted to get up to answer it, but I didn't. We played phone tag all day and I eventually just gave up, leaving him a final message that I would be ready to go at seven.

I didn't have to ask Wanda twice to help me get ready and she jumped over the table to hug me at lunch when I told her.

"Even though I'm mad at you for not giving me any warning, I'm so happy." She clapped her hands when she sat back down in her seat across from me.

"It's just dinner so nothing too fancy."

"You have a boyfriend." She mocked in a playful voice.

"That is exactly what I don't have. Steve is just a venue for sex. I know what he wants from me, he's told me and once he realizes that that's all we have, he can leave me alone."

That was what I was afraid of.

"I don't think so. He likes you. I have a sixth sense about these things." She tapped her temple, "I just know."

"I don't think you do. You'll see. After we get a couple good fucks out of our system, it's going to be over."

"When do you plan on letting him get that far? Hopefully not on the first try?" She hitched her eyebrow.

"I didn't budge the first two times he asked and I plan on keeping a little dignity. Maybe a week…does that sound good?"

"You're better than me. I would have jumped his bones in an instant. I don't care if that makes me a slut." She shrugged.

"I just need to make it past a couple of dinners, feel him out. I think he just expects me to roll over."

"Let me guess, you're trying to teach him a lesson." She rolled her eyes.

"Is that bad?"

"Stop kidding yourself, Natalia. Men like him rarely lose at this kind of thing and I can see it in your eyes. He's getting to you." She pushed herself up from the table. "See you tonight."

I held my head in my hands and tried to convince myself that Steve wasn't winning this but the truth couldn't be denied.

The rest of the day went well, the only problem being Tony, who thought that he could ask me out again since our last date was thwarted. I told him no and moved across the room in my literature class so he wouldn't be tempted to talk to me.

I got home at five and Wanda was sitting on my bed, reading a magazine. She didn't even speak as she pointed to the bathroom. I jumped in the shower and made sure that I washed twice, shaved everything that needed it, and soaked my hair in shampoo.

I was jittery and nervous about this because as much as I wanted to break Steve's bad boy ways, I knew that it would only take a little for him to break me instead.

I sat in front of my mirror as Wanda blow dried and styled my hair into a messy side bun. She seemed to like that style on me and was testing it out like I was a Barbie doll. On this occasion, I needed all the help I could get.

She did my makeup lightly, saying that I didn't need much and left me to put on my underwear. When I was done, I went into my room where she had a full spread laid out. I silently put on what she had for me.

The dress had a tag that said Herve Leger and it was a dark blue, not navy but royal color that looked amazing against my skin. It was a bandaged dress as Wanda called it so it hugged my body all the way down to where it stopped a couple inches above the knee, making sure to show off what little figure I had. The sleeves were capped and the neckline was asymmetrical, cutting across my collarbone at an angle. It was very sexy without being slutty. There was a small cutout in a diamond shape in the back to show off some skin and I thought Steve would like a little enticement for tonight. Once again, the dress probably cost more than my life so I didn't ask.

The shoes were slightly frightening with their five inch heels but I had begun to actually enjoy being taller. That's not to say that I liked wearing scary, high shoes all the time but Wanda was starting to convert me. Tonight's pair were white pumps that were closed toed and had a good inch raise on the front of them. I was still short as hell but I was trying so that must count for something.

"You and your boyfriend are going to have such a good time." Wanda circled me and placed a purse in my hands.

"He's not my boyfriend. Just one week of this and I'm through." I stood up straight, turning to see myself in the mirror.

She just shook her head and mumbled something to herself.

"I think I'm ready." I said and put on a silver watch that used to belong to Renee but she gave to me when I moved away. I only wore it sometimes.

"Hold on." Wanda jumped to my desk and plucked a yellow rose out of the bunch, perfectly clipping the stem off with her nails.

"What are you doing?" I asked and tried to move away from her.

"It will show that you actually appreciate what he did for you. Come here." She placed the rose in my side bun and then back away, proud of her efforts.

"I hope he doesn't get the wrong idea with all of this." I grumbled.

"You'll do fine. Now go out there and get your man." She pushed me out of the door.

"Stop calling him that." I said when she shut the door, "You better be gone by the time I come back." I said from the other side and then stalked off towards the elevators.

I got in with a group of guys who looked like they were going out to a bar. I stood in the corner tapping my heel as we went down the floors. They kept looking at me and saying things under their breath.

"Is there a problem?" I snapped.

"No. We were just rating you." A guy nodded to me.

"Rating me?"

"Yeah, you're between a nine and ten. We're not sure yet."

"Disgusting." I said to myself and just kept my eyes forward.

The elevator doors finally dinged at the first floor and I went out quickly, checking my watch. It was seven exactly and the sun was still in the sky but about to set.

I stepped into the light and looked completely out of place among the jean dressed and tee shirt wearing college population. I decided to just wait for Steve because I figured he would make himself known. I sat on a bench under a tree and crossed my legs. As soon as my butt hit the stone, I heard the thundering engine of a car coming down the street and saw a cherry red sports car emerge, trying to honk its way past the slow students who were staring.

"Of course." I shook my head as I saw Steve behind the wheel.

He pulled to a screeching halt in front of me and my blue eyed fantasy stepped out of the car, looking more like a model than a real estate agent.

Steve was in head-to-toe labels. Wanda would be proud.

He had on navy blue suit pants that fit him to a T and a matching dinner jacket with a light blue shirt underneath. The top few buttons were undone, showing off a smooth of chest and his shoes were gleaming in the setting sun. He had on a pair of black Ray Ban sunglasses and his hair was more tamed but still unruly.

He spotted me in the seat that I hadn't moved from and sauntered over to me with too much authority and a grin. He didn't say anything as he took my hand and lifted it smoothly to his lips. A jolt of fire went through my body at his touch and I was determined to make it at least a week before I gave in but it was going to be hard.

"Hello, beautiful." Were his first words and I swear to God that I almost ripped open my dress right there so that he could just take me.

Instead of showing my lust, I decided that bitchiness would be the best way to go so I replied with a,

"Could you be more cliché?"

"I knew you would appreciate the extreme gesture." He waved his hand towards his car, "And I see you got the roses?" He pointed to my hair and tugged on my hand, lifting me off of the bench.

"Yes, they were very nice." I said a little too professionally but I didn't know how to act.

He was being nice but I knew there was an end goal so I didn't let him sneak his way in.

"I feel so bad that we couldn't go out sooner." He started leading me towards his car that had a few people around it. His hand was on the small of my back and I literally felt the wetness flood in between my legs.

"I'm sorry about that. I had to study last night so…"

"No, I understand. I wouldn't want you to miss out on your studies especially since you are in such a critical point in your educational career."

I looked up at him weirdly.

"You're a junior, right? Isn't that when you start looking for job opportunities and master's programs?"

Shit!

"Oh, right. I've been so busy, I forgot." I lied smoothly.

The car beeped and the people around it scattered.

"Very nice car." I admired the sleek beast.

"Just one of many, beautiful." His pet name was warming my heart but I kept my mind running at full speed so that I wouldn't get confused.

Steve opened the door to his million dollar car and it went straight up into the air, not out vertically like a normal car door would.

"Wow." I said, slightly impressed and could tell that Steve loved my reaction. I mentally scolded myself for letting him affect me.

"That's only the half of it." He whispered into my ear before helping me into the car.

He closed the door and I used the time he was walking around to his side, to get some sanity back into my body.

This was going to be harder than I thought!

He got into the car smoothly and closed his door. The car didn't even need a key to start, he just pushed a button on the dashboard and it came to life with a rumble.

"So…where are we off to?" I asked, trying not to be too impressed by his vehicle that I realized could be a very Freudian way of showing off the rather large dick that I guessed was under those pants.

"I've been planning this date for a long time so I wanted to make it special." He took off his sunglasses and looked at me. My whole body tingled from his blue irises. Good thing the tinted windows of the car weren't letting much light in or I might not make it if I had to see them fully illuminated.

I realized that it was time to stop acting so mousy around him. On his biography from the 'Chicago's Sexiest Bachelors' list, it said that he liked a confident woman. He already liked me but I wanted to pull him in further.

"You've been planning this for a long time?" I inquired skeptically, "You can't like me that much."

"On the contrary Natalia," He sped off down the street with one hand on the wheel, leaning back in a very sexy way, "I find you fascinating and really intriguing. I just can't leave you alone." His voice was dripping with innuendo.

"Well then, I shouldn't have kept you waiting."

"That's what I was trying to say but you're a stubborn little thing. I realized that the only way to get what I want is to treat you more appropriately."

"Your coach must have trained you right." I propped my head on my hand and watched him, gazed at him, got mesmerized by him.

"My coach?" He chuckled.

"Yeah. I wouldn't expect you to really know anything about romance."

"Wrong again, beautiful. My mother raised three very romantic men. We might not always show it but we know how to woo." He smirked at me.

"So why do you act like such a dick?" It slipped out before I had a chance to catch my words but I didn't regret them.

"Because I can." He said simply and then raised the speed of the car to a steady one hundred. I would have normally been freaking out but something about him made me feel calm.

"Where are we going? You're not trying to kill me are you?" I laughed and sat back in the black leather seat.

"If I wanted you dead, you already would be." He said, jokingly, but something about his tone told me he was serious. That was kind of scary. "I've rented us a boat."

"Rented us a boat?"

"Let me rephrase, it's my boat but I had to rent a captain. I would normally man the thing myself but I will be romancing you all night so I won't have the time." He ran his hand through his hair, almost causing my libido to explode.

"You're a man of James Bond-like proportions, aren't you? Fast cars, boats, obvious money coming out of your butt."

"James Bond wishes he were me." Steve sped up again, swerving through slower cars on the highway.

I didn't ask where we were going again but I recognized that we were heading in the direction of Lake Michigan. It took us fifteen more minutes of deathly, silent driving before we arrived at our destination.

"What's this?" I asked as he slowed the car into a parking lot.

"This…is the marina. All the boats dock here." He turned off the car and quickly got out. With lightening speed, he was at mine and opened it for me, taking my hand in his. The fire from his touch was back but I ignored it.

I straightened out my dress when I got out of the low car and Steve waited for me to re-fix myself before leading me towards the docks where more than one hundred boats were bobbing in the water. The sun was behind the clouds, almost behind the horizon, casting deep colors of pink and purple over the sky.

"This is where all the rich guys bring their boats after a weekend in the water." Steve snickered. "You should see them in the summer. It's pathetic."

"You're one of those rich men, are you not?" I grinned at him as he helped me down the stairs of the dock. I was actually surprised I hadn't fallen yet in my pumps.

"Through my father, yes. You'll soon learn that everyone in this circle has more to hide than what's on the surface." He said, cryptically. Everything about this man was mysterious and that was just pulling me in further.

We made it to the wooden pier, with boats on either side of us.

"Which one is your's or your father's I should say?"

"My father just gave me the resources to make my own money. I own what's mine." He corrected me.

"A self made man, I like." I said stupidly.

He laughed, "I'm glad you approve, beautiful."

He kept his hold on me, which had went from the small of my back to my waist but I made sure he didn't dip lower towards my hips. We walked, our shoes making soft noises on the wood until we came to a massive boat, yacht, at the end of the wharf.

"Please tell me this isn't your's." I walked in front of it and looked like a dwarf compared to the enormous ship. It was like standing in front of the Spanish Armada.

"Natalia, I would like to introduce you to Capriccio." He patted the side of the smooth white painted yacht.

"Steve, this is amazing." I awed, all pretenses of trying to sound unimpressed were thrown out of the window.

"I bought it after I graduated Harvard Business." He crossed his arms and watched me circle the boat.

"Harvard?" I raised an eyebrow, "Your arrogance is showing."

"Your beauty is showing." He shot back. Even though it was probably the cheesiest thing I had ever heard, I blushed like the devil in heat. Something told me that the real Steve, the man underneath all of the wealth, would have said that same thing.

My new goal: find the man under the money.

I still kept up my blasé attitude towards him and rolled my eyes, "Just help me up on this thing, Casanova."

The steps to the yacht were right at the pier line, so I didn't have to step very high but Steve wouldn't let go of me as we went up onto the deck of the boat that was illuminated by soft lighting from the floorboards and over head.

"What's all this?" I whispered to him as I saw a waiting staff with pressed suits and pearly white smiles.

"They're all helping me romance you since I can't do it myself." Steve whispered back with a grin.

"Good evening, Ms. Romanov." An older gentleman with a white beard tipped his head to me, "My name is Jerry and I'll be your guide for the evening." He clapped his hands and the staff quickly spread out, going to do different things, "Would you like a tour?" He offered me his arm and I took it.

The yacht in question was a Lazzara LSX 92, which Steve was quick to point out when I asked. He stayed behind Jerry and I, letting us walk ahead as we went on the tour but I would glance back at him sometimes and he would always have a warm smile.

The first thing about the boat I noticed was that it was very modern, not like I thought it would be since a lot of the other ships on the docks were older. I got the specific facts from Jerry and learned that Capriccio was ninety-one feet in length with a maximum speed of thirty-one knots. I had no idea what that meant but I figured that was fast.

The whole thing was built for comfort with two floors connected by a spiral staircase. Below deck, were four staterooms that looked like they could have been from any five star hotels in the world. They all had plush beds, cream carpets, comfy looking chairs and flat screens everywhere. There were kitchens downstairs along with bathrooms and windows that opened up to reveal the outside world.

Above deck, there was tons of space all on deep hardwood floors that looked like they belonged in a nice house somewhere. There were more TVs up here along with a long dining table that was adorned with candles, a white sheet and fine china. Steve explained that was for our date.

Jerry quickly left us on the deck after he finished the tour. Steve and I stood over the back railing as the sun began to set. The boat took off from the docks and we were soon sailing over Lake Michigan.

"This is...incredible." I said, looking out over the water. "Thank you."

"I didn't want to take you out to some restaurant. Then you'd be comparing me to that jackass you were with at Carmel." He replied.

"I just went out with him to get him off my back." I saw Steve move closer to me out of the corner of my eye.

"I could tell you weren't having a good time." He snickered, "I felt so bad for the kid. He was trying so hard."

"You're trying pretty hard yourself." I nudged his shoulder. It just felt like we had known each other for a long time and I was comfortable with him after that first initial awkwardness of the night. .

"Touché." He hit me back.

We stayed silent for a long time, just watching the moon overtake the sun and it was the first time that I had actually seen stars since I moved to Chicago.

"You truly do look beautiful." Steve said sweetly and I couldn't tell if he was serious or not.

"Thank you." I couldn't help but smile at him.

He was working his magic.

"Are you sure you don't say that with all your dates?" I asked.

"I'm going to let you in on a little secret." He leaned in. "I don't usually go on dates."

"Oh? You were on one at Carmel."

He groaned and pulled at his hair, "Her name is Vienna and I've known her for years. We had...a thing but I want to break it off. She's kind of insane."

"More so than you?"

"You have no idea." He sounded pretty serious.

"Dinner is served, Mr. Rogers." Jerry said from behind us.

"Thank you." Steve replied and led me to the table, pulling out my chair for me.

He situated himself opposite the table and I saw a single yellow rose in a slim vase in the middle.

"I hope it wasn't presumptuous of me to send the flowers." Steve unfolded his napkin and put it in his lap.

"No, they were nice. Can I ask how you got them to my door?"

"I have my ways." He said.

"That's what you said about knowing my last name."

"I can't give away all my secrets, Natalia. That would take the thrill out of the romance I'm trying to bestow on you."

"Well, you're doing a good job so far. We'll see if you can keep it up."

The waiting staff quickly brought out a sprawling dinner of seafood that looked like it had just been fished from the sea. I felt slightly awkward being served but I didn't say anything.

Steve and I talked over hot pasta dishes, filled with crab, shrimp, lobster and clams along with steamed vegetables. There was soup and a salad along with champagne that I took small sips of, trying to make him think that I was twenty-one. I hoped we never got that far in conversation because that was something I didn't know how to tell him about.

About an hour into the meal, I realized that I was actually talking to Steve and he was actually talking to me. Two hours in, we were laughing. Three hours in, I had fallen for him. I didn't know if it was the alcohol or just the fact that I was comfortable with him but this Steve wasn't anything like the one I had previously met.

He was kind, he was polite, he was charming and funny, witty and could match my sarcasm. I didn't feel embarrassed with him and my usual clumsiness seemed to disappear.

"So, what about you? What's your story?" I asked Steve, as I swirled some red wine in the glass.

We had talked about me almost the whole time and he usually avoided himself.

"What about me?" He shrugged, "I'm your normal, twenty-five year old, real estate agent. I come from a rich Italian family, I go to church every Sunday, I have two brothers and I can't cook worth a lick." He laughed and took back the rest of the drink in his cup.

"That was a lot to take in but you've already said all that. Come on, I told you where I was from and about my family."

"No, you didn't. You won't tell me about your father or your mother." He accused jokingly.

"That's because they're weird. You don't want to know about them." I shuddered.

"I want to know everything about you. I told you, you fascinate me." Steve leaned back in his seat and kept his eyes on me.

Our dessert was served and we talked some more about me. I had to make sure to keep my story straight that I was a twenty-one year old junior. I didn't want to talk about Nick or Renee because he would just think I was from a white trash family compared to his rich, upper crust one. So basically, I created a whole new persona for myself but that was okay because after a week, it would be like I never existed in Steve's eyes.

I was still sticking to my plan of the no sex thing for a while and it had to be on my terms. I was doing well so far with Steve's tricks so I was pretty sure that I could hold out.

"Why the name Capriccio for your boat?" I asked as we were heading back into the harbor. The moon was high in the sky and I didn't even want to look at what time it was.

"It's an Italian name for a musical term."

"What does it mean?"

"It categorizes a piece of music that's free of form. Little is paid attention to tempo or key. It usually occurs when a person just sits and plays, letting everything go." He looked up to the sky and let out a deep breath.

"Do you play something?"

He laughed, "You didn't see the giant piano downstairs?"

I blushed. "I was kind of more focused on everything else."

"I know how you feel. My mother designed most of it and I still can't get over all of this sometimes." He held out his hands to show off his domain.

Steve was the strangest man I had ever met.

It was like talking with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I still remembered what an ass he was the other two times I met him but this time, something was different about him. He was relaxed.

The boat docked and Steve helped me off of the yacht. I thanked everyone for being so nice. I was in Steve's car, heading back into the city and that was when the real sexual tension began.

It had been building all night but Steve and I had been able to keep it at bay. Of course I saw him eying my chest and I even swiveled my hips a little more than necessary but I hoped he didn't expect me to put out so soon. Shame on him.

Steve kept his hands to himself on the drive home and I was surprised that he hadn't tried to ask me into his bed again. He was being surprisingly good, which confused me but I tried to act like nothing was bothering me.

Why wasn't he asking to sleep with me again? I had made most of my plans on the assumption that he was going to be a jackass so he was throwing a wrench into my path and that wasn't a way for me to win this war.

The car halted in front of my dorm and Steve turned it off.

"So, how did I do with the romance?" He shifted towards me.

"I was pleasantly surprised."

"I knew you would be. How did I compare to Tony?" He asked, mockingly.

"Are you trying to find out which of you is going to be the better lay?"

"You keep a list?" His lip twitched.

"Maybe. You won't know for a while though." I bit my lip and saw him watching me lustily.

"A while? Is that how long it's going to take me?"

"Maybe."

"You are one fascinating creature." He said, almost to himself.

"I think that's the fourth or fifth time you've said that tonight."

"I'm sorry, I just can't help it."

We sat in the car for another minute and I check my watch, slightly annoyed that it was one in the morning.

"Well…goodbye. This was fun." I started to open the door, not really wanting to leave.

"Yes, it was." He replied.

"Thank you." I got out of the car and closed the door. I didn't know if he planned on setting up another date or what but I suddenly didn't want to leave him.

I started walking up the sidewalk, my heels clicking on the pavement when I heard another door close.

I was spun around gently within the next second and soft lips engulfed mine.

Steve crashed his lips to mine and something animalistic erupted in my blood. If felt like I had been kissing for years as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. My hands immediately went into his hair and the taste of wine mixed with his natural taste was overwhelming. His lips were the most succulent thing I had ever tasted in my life and I sucked his bottom one gently while he took my top one into his mouth.

He licked my bottom lip softly and I opened my mouth while moaning against the force of our kiss. Our tongues thrashed together and I didn't even think I took a breath the entire time that we stayed connected.

We didn't bother with formalities as our tongues collided in a wicked dance of wetness that I loved. I began scratching his scalp involuntarily as his strong hands massaged my hips. My skin was burning, my ears were ringing, my feet were hurting but I could have cared less.

All the planning and war strategy that I had in my head were gone, evaporated with his kiss that was about to kill me.

I had to pull back when I couldn't breathe anymore but kept my eyes locked on his.

His left hand traveled up my body, from my hip to my neck where he left it for a second. It wasn't an inappropriate touch but one filled with a sensual nature that still felt caring. He moved some hair out of my face and put it behind my ear. I felt his fingers smoothly pull the flower out of my tendrils and he brought it to his nose.

"I think I'll keep this for good memories." He smirked, "Can I call you again?"

"I would like that." I whispered, still trying to pull myself together from that kiss.

"I would like that as well." He bent down to peck my lips innocently, once, twice and then pulled back completely, "Look out for my call in a couple of days. Goodnight, Natalia." He walked backwards to his beast, never taking his eyes off of me.

He got into his car and sped off like Batman while I was left on the sidewalk.

I almost died right there.

I went into the building, pulled out my id to show to the night promoter who let me in and then got into the elevators.

The 'what if' bug came back into my head as I went up the floors.

Steve didn't ask to come up, he didn't make any suggestions as to sex, he didn't even make a sick joke after our kiss. I suddenly realized that I was starting to like this Steve and if this is the one that I would be meeting from now on, I was in trouble. What if he liked me and this wasn't just a ploy?

What if…

I didn't even realize that I was at my floor until the doors were about to close. I had to take off my heels to walk to my room because the high in my mind was making it impossible to walk. I put the key in and opened the door to an empty room.

I was thankful that Wanda wasn't here because I needed to rest after that. I stripped out of my clothes and just climbed into bed in my underwear.

That night, my mind was set at ease as I finally found the perfect shade of blue to describe Steve's eyes. It was harbor blue. The color of a perfectly clear sky over the water and it was all I thought about in my dreams.

I was woken up by my alarm clock and was still wondering whether last night actually happened or not. I sat up and just stayed in that position for a long time, thinking.

He was making me fall for him. He was tricking me. He was using me and I knew it. The problem was, I didn't have enough strength to stop him. I was through.

I got out of bed and was about to past the door to go into the bathroom but stood in front of it, debating whether or not to go out into the hallway. I took a leap of faith, not caring that I was only in a bra and panties, and opened the door.

On the other side was a large heaping mass of about thirty long stemmed, vivid orange, full pedaled, summer roses in another crystal container. They didn't have a note this time but it wouldn't have been hidden anyway by the flowers that were overflowing over the rim of the vase.

I picked the flowers up and brought them inside, setting them next to the other two groups. Two yellows and one orange. My smile was real this time, genuine.

I started up my computer and brushed my teeth while it came to life. By the time I was done, it was up and running so I logged onto Google, typing 'orange roses' into the search engine.

As I read the description on the first website that popped up, my foot was tapping and I was twirling a piece of hair around my finger. I had to read the summary four times before I understood it.

With their blazing energy, orange roses are the embodiment of desire and enthusiasm. Orange roses often symbolize passion and excitement and are an expression of fervent romance. A bouquet of orange roses will send a meaningful message.

I sat back in my chair and came to one final conclusion:

I was royally fucked.