#seriously the entire franchise has good music

[twistedtummies2]

What do you think about the "Descendants" franchise?

Well, before I go into detail, let's put it this way: one of the reasons I was unsure about "Twisted Wonderland," when I first heard of it years ago, is because the concept vaguely reminded me of Descendants. I have since occasionally described the game as "Descendants Done Right." So, yeah, not a fan. :P First of all, I should point out I really only know the franchise through the movies: I know that there are some books, and I believe a TV show, both of which follow their own continuity. MAYBE those are better, but I can't say I'm in a hurry to find out. As for the films...I feel they're all such vast missed opportunities. Regarding the main characters and the plots, I feel there are some great ideas in there, somewhere, waiting to burst from their chrysalides, but they never really get a chance to. The movies favor "silly Disney sitcom antics" over any real substance. Most of the main players feel like stock characters I've seen a million times before, most of the jokes just aren't funny, to be blunt, and the drama and romance feel so half-baked. Not to mention, it feels like every plot is kind of the same thing, but with a few bells and whistles changed, over and over again. :P I also take umbrage with the depictions of the classic Disney Villains: I know one friend of mine actually really likes the way they're depicted as "has-been villains," but a.) that simple fact is part of my problem, because I have great respect and love for the characters, and b.) more importantly, even that aspect is inconsistent. They can't seem to make up their minds on whether the old vanguard of characters, especially the villains, are meant to be treated seriously or not. You can make a character funny AND also a force to be reckoned with - that's kind of the hallmark of the Disney Villains - but these films don't seem to know HOW to DO that. Not only that, but a lot of them just do NOT feel right with the characters we know: Jafar is absolutely NOTHING like Jafar, and Kristin Chenoweth - God bless her Glinda-playing heart - is just WOEFULLY miscast as Maleficent, to give two examples. Some of the portrayals of the classic villains are okay, but most of them are just so many levels of "missing the point entirely." As for the music...ehhhhh, I'd say it's hit or miss. Mostly miss, to be honest, but there are a few songs, scattered throughout the movies, that I like. And I'll give the films this credit: I have seen and sat through every single one of them, however begrudgingly. I think it's because I have this faint hope that at some point, SOME point, MAYBE they'll finally do something WORTH seeing. I think the third film came pretty close - it's the closest I have come yet to actually liking these sorry pictures - but even that one has too many flaws for me to get fully behind it. Overall...there's some glimmers of goodness in the Descendants movies, but at the end of the day, I think the ACTUAL Maleficent said it best...

[silver-wield]

regarding that comment about nptk. Tbh. I dunno. It felt empty. Can you really say without nojima saying anything that nptk is about everyone? Really? There's a reason why nobody thought so. Like fr, NOBODY. Everyone mostly thought it's Zack, at least the Sane ones. But look, they're washing their hands. Do you see her caring about them in LSW? AC? NO. Not even in the ending. Not even in resolution, Nor creepy date. Not a single message message to her mother. NOTHING. And you want me to believe nptk is about her caring about everyone? That she truly wanted to protect everyone? What UTTER BULLSHIT IS THIS. NOJIMA are you FCKING KIDDING ME? I swear to god, if this was seen by literally anybody, NONE of them would arrive to where he wants them to arrive at. If it was Zack he said it's for everyone and he wanted go protect everyone, I'll Believe it. I Don't need to see the Shallowness of her relationship with Tifa etc because I see her priorities and Obsession and how AWFUL he treats Cloud. It's just triggering tbh. Does Nojima really think this, THIS?? is a "good" person? Let alone a "friend"? What kind of people has he been around to?? JFC I Wish he'd get a second opinion with someone with Morals and can smell BS from far away. This Isn't helping this franchise, and Truly, I am Deeply Hurt for Zack. Not just Cloud being mischaracterized because of BS HC. Not just Tifa being fcked over and taken for granted. It's also saying FCK YOU to the IP.

Like fr, I Can't believe they're still hiring ben sabin. THAT'S FCKED UP.

Honestly I think Nojima has some kinda dissociation between what's shown and what they're telling us because playing blind there's no way anybody would think Aerith is a good friend to Tifa when she's sliming herself over Cloud, and nobody would think that song is about everyone but maybe the English lyrics are at fault and the JP ones fit what he says.

I don't like the song, so idc what it's about. I'm still annoyed they came up with this convoluted scenario and then literally included a line that shows Aerith is getting Deus ex machina favouritism

She should not have been allowed to submit that song, let alone win. And how did they craft an entire production and music to go with the lyrics within a couple hours?!

I'm sorry but I seriously hate this. It makes no fucking sense and they shouldn't have done it.

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: How To Train Your Dragon

Fucking FINALLY I can gush about this goddamn MASTERPIECE of a fucking movie, and the source of my newest obsession cause oh my god, ya'll oh my god this FRANCHISE is RUINING ME and it may not be why I decided to understake this entire Dreamworks watch to begin with (for better or worse, but worth it to get to watch through this trilogy again).

We focus on Hiccup, a young viking who's out of place among the other dragon-killing vikings on Berk, especially his stern father, Stoick. During a dragon raid one night, Hiccup accidentally shoots down a Night Fury, said to be one of the most dangerous dragons of all. Slowly but surely, however, Hiccup secretly befriends this dragon, which he names Toothless, while in the midst of dragon hunting training alongside Berk's other young vikings, Astrid, Snotlout, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut.

So this story is so damn good, so fucking good, its so simple, so rooted in the emotions of it all, of Hiccup being torn between wanting to live up to his father's expectations while also growing closer with Toothless and coming to sympathize with dragons in general. As a result, we get some of the strongest emotional highs and lows in really any Dreamworks movie, and it all works so well and flows so beautifully. In fact, this story doesn't even need an antagonist like its two sequels do (i mean it kind of has one in the Red Death, but its more an obstacle to be taken out above all else), it's source of conflict really is what I just described above and it's so well-crafted on every level.

Hell, everything about this movie is. The characters are all phenomenal, it's not wonder this spawned two sequels and several shows (you should watch Riders/Defenders of Berk and Race to the Edge btw, they're great). Hiccup is one of Dreamworks' best leads by far, a genuis little ball of sass who is just as loyal as he is stubborn. The other teens don't get a ton of focus here, but Astrid does, and she's great, starting out as our usual Dreamworks tough gal before eventually softening up to Hiccup heading into the third act. Also, can I just talk about Stoick for a sec? They could have done this man so dirty, could have made him the usual angry father who doesn't understand or care about his son, but he isn't. He cares so damn much about Hiccup, and it shows, even if he claims to be embarassed by him, even if he seems like he wants him to change, he still loves his son to hell and back (which makes what happens in the second movie so much more tragic, but we'll get to that). And then of course, there's Toothless, who is just... absolute Baby. I love how catlike he is, and how, much like Hiccup, he's also kind of a sassy little shit in his own special way.

The animation, golly, its so pretty, The flying scenes are this franchise's bread and butter and they are just a delight to watch. The character designs are some of Dreamworks' best, especially on the Dragons. They all look so unque and have their own little quirks that make them all special. Toothless especially is animated so well. They give him these cat-like mannerisms that bring so much charm to a character that doesn't speak a single word. It's fantastic.

You know what else is fantastic about this movie? THE MUSIC OH MY GOD. This may just be the single greatest score in ANY Dreamworks movie. It's GOD TIER GOOD. The entire franchise has amazing music, but most of the themes that repeat throughout the next two movies started here and they're all so beautiful. Seriously, give this score a listen if you haven't, its just... amazing.

The whole movie is amazing! I honest to god love everything about it so much. It's such a strong start to what I think is Dreamworks' greatest franchise, to a world and characters that I am literally obsessed with now send help, and to a series that I'm so very excited to be revisiting for this watch through. Please, if you've never seen How to Train Your Dragon, do yourself a favor and watch it now. You will not be sorry.

Overall Rating: 10/10

Verdict: (gestures vaguely at Hiccup) LOOK AT MY SON

Previous Review (Monsters Vs. Aliens)

Next Review (Shrek Forever After)

[banhchao]

I need people that watch High School Musical who try to frame Sharpay as anything but the antagonist of the franchise to realize every action she did was purely on selfish terms. She is NOT the victim and Troy and Gabriella are most DEFINITELY not the villains.

First film, instead of having confidence in her own talents to secure the role for the Spring Musical, she sabotages Troy and Gabriella’s chance of even making it to their callback audition. It’s one thing to work hard and be mad about someone unrightfully taking your role away from you - it’s another to RIGHTFULLY earn it without using your power as drama club president to manipulate fate out of fear your talents are not good enough to beat the competition. Troy and Gabriella worked hard for their audition too - they earned their roles fair and square. People need to stop acting like they were out to get her just cause they accidentally auditioned the first time. It was Darbus that gave them a callback, not the two of them manipulating their way into one. You can’t argue that Sharpay was annoyed that they didn’t seem to take it seriously when she saw them continually practicing despite their other commitments. In fact, she quite literally wants to keep the “status quo”, not cause other cliques wouldn’t take theatre seriously but because she hates her place being threatened. This is further evident when she suggests Gabriella only audition for a supporting role in the beginning of the movie.

Second film, Sharpay tries to steal Gabriella’s boyfriend (which is funny cause Gabriella knows Troy is her man to the point of asking if he’s a prize to Sharpay when she already has him) and uses her wealth and privilege to isolate Troy from his friends by offering him opportunities no one else has access to. She likes him cause he’s pretty, aesthetically pleasing, talented and popular which will make her look good beside him - all surface level stuff. She tries to buy him away from his GIRLFRIEND and friends, knowing fully well none of them can give him the opportunities she can. She doesn’t give him these cause she wants to be nice nor cause she sees his potential and thinks he deserves them (he can earn them on his own, frankly and if anything, I think Chad is JUST as deserving) but so he could owe her favours and spend more time with her. She disrespects Gabriella by crossing personal boundaries with Troy (of which personally I think Troy should have also stopped this earlier on but I can see why he had trouble doing so) and tries to frame Gabriella as unsupportive of Troy when she expresses her disapproval of how Troy is treating her and their friends as lesser than him (when in reality, he just has pretty white boy privilege). Sharpay purposely isolates Troy from his friends for her own benefit - she quite literally intended for Fulton to hire ONLY Troy and do “whatever it took” to get him and hated that the rest of the Wildcats came along with him. Not only that but she PUNISHES the rest of the wildcats by banning them from performing in the show just so Troy wouldn’t be able to sing with Gabriella (his LITERAL GIRLFRIEND!!!!) When Troy realizes he’s changing to fit in with this more prestigious crowd and treating his girlfriend and friends poorly as a result, he cuts off the opportunities Sharpay has given him so that she can no longer hold them over his head.

Third movie is the only one where she isn’t an actual villain - she doesn’t sabotage or manipulate her way into becoming lead of the show but rather just takes advantage of Gabriella leaving early. This, I think is entirely fair as she has no role in Gabriella leaving . For the entirety of the movie, Sharpay is mainly focusing on herself and her future.

People are so afraid of loving villains that they will deny their favourite characters are indeed that when they clearly are the antagonist. Sharpay is a fun and bold character - her songs and performances are energetic and full of life, she is hard working and talented and has her own unique style, her looks are iconic and she is not afraid to be mean and brutally honest which is refreshing to many. She also is the villain that sabotages and manipulates her way into getting what she wants for her own selfish desires, not caring of who she hurts along the way. People need to realize these sentiments can co-exist and that it is OKAY to love the villain. What doesn’t make sense is making characters like Gabriella (who receives a lot of hate for not being as fun as Sharpay) out to be the villain when everything she has received and done has been earned fair and square - there’s no point in pretending she somehow has an advantage over Sharpay of all people.

[babymorte]

@thesimplicityofchance replied to your post “Ooo also I start V/H/S 99 last night I got through...”:

I haven't seen 94 or 85. But from what I watched so far of 99 I really liked it! I love a good horror anthology movie!!! Oooo so the army men make an overarching story ? 👀 that makes me even more excited to finish it! I might go finish it right now actually 😂. Ooo I totally agree! Like give me a story of the punk band making a deal with a demon or something cursing them to live and be zombies. Because like they weren't really like dumb undead zombies 🤔.

oh my gosh yes finish it and report back immediately i need to know opinions!! ​they're both on shudder so you should definitely watch them before your trial is up! the vhs movies are shudder produced now im pretty sure? so any future ones are gonna be going on there before anywhere else...if they get uploaded anywhere else. definitely recommend them all though they're so much better than the og trilogy even though i do really like the og trilogy too (the one from the zombie's perspective is still my fave short out of all of them) no seriously! like fuck it even do like they did with the succubus short from the first one and make an entire movie out of the short. like that short has so much potential plus the director of the short directed a bunch of music videos which you can tell in the production of it so like it really felt authentic too. but like it was such a good twist on a ghost/possession/zombie story they could literally make a franchise out of it like a return of the living dead situation just modern.

[multicolour-ink]

Thoughts on The Super Mario Bros Movie

Spoilers ahead

- - -

Positives

- The fact that Bowser's entire plan to get the Power Star was just so he could use it as a proposal gift to Peach is hilarious 🤣

- Jumpman!

Syrprised no one has mentioned this yet. No seriously this cameo made me smile so hard 😄 And yes it is Charles Martinet, and yes he is playing "Jumpman" in the background!

I just thought it was very sweet and YES while he doesn't look like game Mario, it was the best way they could've done it in, my opinion.

- The family was charming!

Honestly when I heard they had a whole family I got very worried that they would be taking up so much screen time.

It's like the issue I have with the humans in the Sonic movie's so far - they are not terrible, but I find it hard to care about them when they are not the main characters, and they go and high jack the movie.

But surprisingly, they aren't in it for too long! They are only at the beginning and end, and serve their purpose. In short, I am ok with them 👍🏻

- Bowser is perfect!

They got Bowser so right - honestly was a bit worried that he was just going to be a love struck clown throughout the whole thing...but when he gets mad or something doesn't go his way - he's terrifying! They really captured the fury of what a monster he is, both Jack Black and the animators 👏🏻

- OK now I know the other reason why they hired Jack Black! Bowser being a secret rocking music dude is not what I was expecting, and I love it 🤣👌🏻

- The fight scenes

DAMN! They did not hold back on these! The way the characters hit each other, the number of times Mario should've been dead with how hard he got smacked around. Dang it's brutal! And I love it!

Gotta mention the epic DK/Cat Mario, Rainbow Road 🌈, and Bowser/Luigi/Mario fights!!! So good 💗

- The Bros reunion

Need to mention it here, even though I already knew about it and gushed about it so many times there is literally nothing else I can say! It's a beautiful moment and even though it's quick I'm so glad they took the time to make that a moment ❤💚

- THE BROS FIGHTING TOGETHER

Kudos to the movie for never forgetting the true heart of the movie - the Bros' relationship. Luigi coming in to defend Mario, the Bros taking each other's hand, them running to the star together, Bowser being absolutely pummelled by them! It's so good!!! 💗💗💗 I could watch that all day!

- This movie actually made me like Donkey Kong but not Seth Rogan

- I like what they did with the Kong's being a whole kingdom and like a big family 💗

- DIDDY KONG GOT A LINE

- Toad is a funky dude. Please give him more in the sequel!

- I like the fact the end credits was so open. Yes I am aware some are upset that Daisy, Wario, Waluigi, and even Rosalina did not appear. But I think that it's a good thing. It shows that Nintendo and Universal did not want to hype up too much, just in case of the possibility of a sequel never happening (you can't really tell with Hollywood sometimes...) and it just means they got time to work on it.

This is the issue I had with Tails being introduced at the end of the Sonic Movie. They hyped him up so much, only for the writers to have to try and write in a sloppy reason in Sonic Movie 2 for why he is there.

It's clear this movie was a MARIO movie. Not hyping up too much for a cinematic universe or trying to get to the sequel - and I appreciate that immensely.

- The fact that Foreman Spike and Peach (two characters who have been in the same franchise but have never interacted due to the time and console releases their intro games took place in) suddenly sharing the same space in a movie??? That is surreal to me.

Negatives

Technically these aren't so much negatives - just nit picks and little annoyances I found that they could've done better - and also talk about some complaints other people have mentioned.

- The pacing

Yes everyone has talked about this - and they aren't wrong about it...but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! Yes some scenes did seem to be on fast forward, just so the writers could get to the parts they really wanted to do...but when you also look at it from the perspective of urgency that the Mushroom Kingdom is under, some of it does make sense.

But still, the movie does tend to move at too fast a pace sometimes. But it is a fun rush. I can't really find a middle ground with it...

- Slow mo

No seriously did Zach Snyder take over at some point? There were too many pointless slow mo scenes for my liking.

- The pop songs

Not as bad as I thought they were going to be - but I still can't stand pop songs on Mario and I especially hate 80s songs!

In fact, what bothered me the most was the weird opera song they kept playing during their scuffle with the dog. Not only is it obnoxious, but it's playing so loud over the sounds and voices that you can't process anything effectively. It's weird and should've just been left out of the scene.

- Cranky's voice

Literally the only voice in the movie I felt did not fit the character at all. He should've sounded more old and grumpy.

- The fact it went by so fast!!! It was such a rush it went so quick. I wanted to stay in the MK forever 😭

- Luigi being absent

Honestly, yes we needed more of the Bros, but it was inevitable that Luigi wasn't going to have more screen time. Yes it is sad a prison breakout did not happen, but with all the footage they revealed up until release, it became more clear to me thst this wasn't going to happen. There just wasn't going to be time. I'm not upset about it, but we definitely need more in the sequel.

[skerplesc]

wanna take a bit to talk about the lingering will fights from the perspective of someone just finishing kh2 without having the context from bbs. (very long post warning)

i personally only was able to play the main games in order after 1.5 + 2.5 was released. the viewpoint that i'm working off of here is that of a person who knows that there is more context, but does not know what that context is.

so let's take it from the top here. you are [PLAYER NAME] and you have just kicked good 'ol Mansex's ass into double nothingness. you boot up your save, it's a kingdom hearts game so obviously there's going to be wild shit, but the info you get is that something is up in disney castle, of all places. adding to that you also know that's where the cornerstone is. you know. the thing that doinked you back into the goddamn '20s. so you decide to check it out. load into the hall of the cornerstone and you find a portal. cool! where does it lead?

fucking nowhere!!! :D

it's worthy of pointing out that everything has gone dead silent, save for an ominous blowing wind a cloud of dust kicks up in front you, and within it resides a man in armor with a keyblade you've never seen before (note that this is before the point in the franchise before you learn that they used to hand the things out like candy). this man starts "talking" to you incredibly slowly, and i say "talking" because he's just making noises like the goddamn Skyrim perk screen.

he starts out by naming two other folks by the names of "Aqua" and "Ven", and for anyone who knows their classical elements this should immediately set off massive red flags because that's the same name scheme that Sora and Co. work off of. at first he thinks he's met you, but then corrects himself, saying "you're not the one i chose". before you have time to question ANY of this shit, he's accusing you of being the Big Man himself, Xehanort and gets his ass up.

what ensues is a world record speedrun in throwing your head to the pavement. hard.

whatever happened here was SERIOUSLY not good, and clearly ended with the result of this guy, at the very least, letting Xehanort get away. the dude that just made you eat a full serving of dirt is AT MOST equal to Xehanort in power, and could very well be weaker than him. you have no idea if this happened in the past, or that portal just took you here. hell, maybe the reason why the cornerstone took you here is because this hasn't even happened yet and you're going to have to stop it. the armor certainly looks more advanced than anything you've seen so far and he's got attacks where his keyblade transforms into a massive cannon like some Iron Man shit.

so, having just experienced that, you get to the grind. you hit level 99. you take care of the Absent Silhouettes. you take care of Mushroom XIII. you take care of Sephiroth. hell, you potentially even take care of the entire Data Organization, and this guy is still probably kicking your ass.

here's where i want to stop talking about the fight itself being and start talking about the music. Rage Awakened, the song that plays in the fight against the man who you will come to know as The Lingering Will, is. fucking. ballin'. maybe the only theme to a fight that i like more is Dismiss, but that's an essay for another day. It obviously captures the typical sense of grandiosity that songs that Yoko Shimomura is known for, but unlike, say, A Fight to the Death (the song that plays in the fight against the mech that Xemnas summons and the subsequent Armored Controller forms), Rage Awakened is sadder. look, i'm not a music guy, i don't know literally anything about musical theory, but all the string instruments used in it almost make it sound like the song itself is crying. I'm also not sure if it's intentional or not (it isn't mentioned in the khwiki article), but to me at least it sounds similar to the motif from Dearly Beloved. i'm not great at making audio comparisons, but take a listen:

and this is why i wanted to bother making this long-winded essay in the first place: it's no deep analysis to get any of this. the design of the game itself, in the aspects of the gameplay, the writing, and the music, convey all of the prior 729 words i have written here without you even really consciously realizing it. it's so meticulously planned and designed to convey the idea that something awful happened, and it happen to a group of friends clearly not unlike your own. you can immediately sympathize with whatever this guy went through without knowing so much as a lick of it. and knowing that it's the product of the very same guy that tried to do the very same shit to your own friend group is the icing on the cake. there's a fantastic sense of solidarity between the different eras. it feels like a lived-in universe with things going on everywhere all the time. you're not alone in the experience you've been through and you're not alone in experiencing the same conviction to protect your friends. tl;dr, kingdom hearts game design good :)

[neoyi]

Huh.

Well.

This wasn't what I expected from the Miraculous Ladybug property.

Well, sorta. It's still Ladybug, but what I mean is, when I made that last post comparing this movie to Baz Luhrman's aesthetic, I wasn't aware I was given the gift of prophecy by Apollo. Because visually, a lot of its musical segments feel like Moulin Rouge!, but for kids. And I was bedazzled by it. Even the end credits look magical. Seriously, this is a gorgeous movie, with the character models in particular given an upgrade, decidedly mixing the show's art style with a tad bit of Disney.

I genuinely, sincerely, no hyperbole, thoroughly enjoyed the Ladybug & Chat Noir move.

Like the narrative isn't reaching for the stars here, but boiling the entire franchise under a standard movie runtime ended up benefiting them in the long run, because they essentially cut the bullshit and got across its chief plot in a 102 minute film.

Instead of an ongoing will-they-won't-they, Adrien/Marinette's song-and-dance flirting develops and ends with a secret identity reveal (!) and a sealed kiss. I'm grateful Marinette's crush on Adrien has been reconfigured to manageable level so she doesn't come off as an unfortunate stalker this time around. Those two crazy kids get some cute times together throughout the film.

Gabriel Agreste's reign of villainy ends with a fairly bittersweet, but all heartwarming father/son reunion that invites sympathy and earned forgiveness from Adrien.

I appreciate Wang Fu addressing both Ladybug and Chat Noir instead of his odd favoritism of the former in the show (I know she's the main character, but it's unusual for Fu to set up the pair as equal counterparts to each other - both with contrasting powers that balance one another - and yet pay FAR more attention to Ladybug for no reason other than She Is The Chief Protagonist.)

I also love that Marinette constantly rejects Tikki even after getting a taste of Kwami power instead of instantly latching onto it because she is reasonably frightened and like, well, it's nuts! It can't be real!

I like that the music is tolerable. None of them are going to be in my personal playlist, but they're a huge step-up from the secondhand embarrassment that is the Christmas special (I am not surprised the Greatest Showman guy did the music; that soundtrack is what I deem "whimiscal cheese" and this is, I say with affection, whimiscal cheese.)

But what I loved most is how it's tonally soft and calm compared to the TV show. Ladybug: The Show is Kid Who Got Too Many Candy and They're Bouncing Off The Wall. It's got a sugary, unrelenting energy that I'm sure their target audience appreciates, but leaves me a bit overwhelmed (it's like no one bothers to take the time to stop and breathe.) Ladybug: The Movie allows enough downtime that it can have dialogue-free scenes where Adrien wanders into an empty auditorium and remember his late mother. And it's really, emotionally good.

While much of this comes with a direct comparison to its television counterpart, even standalone it's kind of enchanting. It's also a damn good entry point to anyone interested in the series.

Like I would watch this again freely with no irony. I would go out of my way to own the DVD/Blu-Ray just for the pretty visuals alone (and it IS coming out on physical media, right? I know it's on netflix, but Ladybug is a franchise, y'all sell that thing on a damn disc.) I guess in a way, it's the Ladybug that feels like the 2013 concept trailer, and damn it all, it worked for me.

[embervoices]

Pondering with my partner which of my many interests are such deeply ingrained Fandoms that I'd seriously consider tattooing some symbol of them onto my body somewhere. Things that induced so much hyperfixation they took over my brain for huge swathes of time, not just in intensity, but also endurance.

I immediately thought of four, thought two of them could be smooshed together, thought of another fourth, and fifth, and then pondered whether those should be smooshed together...

Gaiman: Sandman, Good Omens, American Gods, Neverwhere, Stardust, etc. Henson: Muppets, Fraggles, Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, Storyteller, etc.

But then that overlaps with the Frouds...

Legend of Zelda

Dragon Age

Alice in Wonderland/Looking Glass

I will likely never actually put most of these on my body, if only because I tend to avoid the assumption of permanence by default. But I have found myself trying to figure out how I would design tattoos for them many times. Perhaps another anklet, like the one for my too-many gods, but looking like jewelry instead of nature, with charms for each fandom? Something relatively subtle.

The thing is, everything on this list except Dragon Age has lasted multiple decades so far, and I've written well over 400k words of DA fanfic most of which self-insert, so I feel safe saying that one will stick, too.

Still, Star Trek: The Next Generation, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer were both intensely important to me in adolescence, and I'll never give up the swag I have for them, but I don't find myself pondering tattoos for them. Though if I went the charm anklet route, I probably would add the TNG symbol.

And the Lord of the Rings movies were at least as invasive, but it was fleeting, if only because I quickly found that, for all the enchantment, I was kind of miserable from it. Like eating fairy fruit. I just felt bereft whenever I paused to look up. It's not good for me, so I put it down.

I seem to put back down the fandoms where I'm very steeped in one particular branch, but don't want to dig into the entire franchise? Like, Batman: The Animated Series, but I never got into the comics, or indeed, LotR and ST:TNG. Star Wars is definitely on that list, and Doctor Who, Babylon 5. Sci Fi has to fight harder for my love than Fantasy, I know, but it's also how big the universe already is when I arrive, and how much pushback I get from those already steeped in it? I guess, sometimes I see that bigger universe and want to dive in. Sometimes I see that bigger universe and decide I don't feel like drowning today. I don't know.

On the other hand, I have never balked at taking on the Addams Family, but it has never felt like a deep love, the same way, no matter how many times I return to it. It's always a joyful return, but it doesn't quite feel like a place I need to live? Miyazaki's work is the same way. I'm unlikely to ever turn down a visit, but it's not home.

And that's just looking at the ones for which there's some video element. What about my book-only loves? My music loves? My art loves? My other collections, like Barbies? Don't they matter, too? Of course they do. But they don't take over my brain to the same degree. Or, at least, not as easily. For all that I'm looking forward to this Barbie movie, I doubt it will plug into my love of collecting the dolls very much.

I don't know. I feel like I should get my relationships with Fandoms more than I do. It's not like I don't have a lifetime of practice, right? But maybe that's the thing - it's so much of my life, it's an endless fractal, and no one level seems to have a clear-cut boundary around it. Each bleeds into the next. I know what is and is not mine, but I don't always know why, or how deep it goes.

[lil-tachyon]

Hey logan, i'm trying to get into sci fi more, do you have any media, movies or otherwise you'd say it's a must watch for someone starting to get into it? Thanks

Super broad question! And precisely the thing I love to talk about. Although unfortunately I really don’t watch a lot of movies or TV so the best I can do for you is list some stuff I like and hope that you find something you enjoy. If we were talking sci-fi literature, that’s something I would probably write a full essay on- if anyone’s interested in reading my thoughts on that and getting my really long list of recommendations, just let me know. I might even do it on my own anyway, just for fun…

I guess if we’re going to talk about “must-watch” sci-fi movies then we have to talk about Star Wars first just to get it out of the way. I’ll keep it brief, far too much ink has been spilt regarding this franchise and you can find more in-depth opinions somewhere else. The original trilogy is great- there’s a reason it launched one of the biggest media franchises of the past 45 years. Endlessly rewatchable, somehow still looks better than basically any other big budget SFF popcorn movie and just plain fun. If you somehow haven’t seen the OT yet, get to it. 

You don’t really need to watch any other Star Wars stuff aside from the OT. The prequels aren’t exactly essential and they’re unquestionably worse in terms of dialog, acting, pacing (i.e. the nuts and bolts of storytelling.) If you’ve never watched Star Wars before you won’t have any nostalgia for them so you can skip them. Don’t even bother with the Disney sequels- pointless and incoherent. If you DO for some reason want more Star Wars in your life I can give you two recommendations: 

First is the masterpiece that is Genndy Tartakovsky’s (creator of Samurai Jack) Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) (no, not the CGI Clone Wars show you’re probably thinking of). Split into 25 episodes ranging in length from two to twelve minutes, the whole show is only about two hours long but boy is it sweet. There are no main characters and not much in the way of an overarching plot. Instead the show is composed of a series of rapid-fire vignettes that take place across the entire Star Wars galaxy and tell dozens of unique microstories. It’s pulpy and fun and never takes itself too seriously and the whole thing is on YouTube because for some reason Disney actually hates everything that made Star Wars good and hasn’t taken the time to copyright strike it.

Second recommendation is the Mandalorian. I didn’t believe it when people started raving about it, but it really is great and tells a poignant, self-contained, original story. It’s not perfect and it definitely suffers from the Disneywars curse of really obnoxious references to the OT, but it’s absolutely worth the watch.

Damn that’s so much more time than I wanted to spend on Star Wars. I always forget how much of a SW geek I am until I start talking about it…

Quick list of the other big “essentials” that I’ve seen and can recommend before I get into more personal stuff (in no particular order):

Alien (1979) - Weird and creepy and gross and with impeccable visual design in every single frame. I need to rewatch it, only seen it once.

Akira (1988) - Massive, groundbreaking, unsettling, beautiful. Brought cyberpunk into the visual realm, brought anime to the West in a whole new way. I could rewatch it a hundred times. 

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) - A foundational film that moves at a foreboding crawl and leaves you feeling unsafe and unsure of what you just watched. (Also my dad’s band referenced the monkey scene in their big-label debut music video, so that should be reason enough to watch it)

Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) - UFOs, the American West, and the most 70s-looking cast imaginable. It feels more a product of its time than most of the others on this list, but I love it for that and it does nothing to make it any less impactful or engrossing.

The Terminator (1984) and Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) - I waited waaaaaay too long to watch these. I only got around to seeing them this past year in fact. I had always just written them off in my head as nothing more than cheesy 80s action flicks but my God are they good and so much different from what I expected. The first one is basically a sci-fi slasher film and the second is probably the best sequel film I’ve ever seen and takes everything in a totally different direction that still manages to build on all the groundwork laid by the first. Please watch, don’t be like me and wait until you’re twenty-six. 

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984) - My favorite Ghibli movie. For being a film about people flying airships and fighting bugs in a giant toxic jungle, it really has a lot of important stuff to say and says it very well.

Castle in the Sky (1988) - Hits a lot of the same plot beats as Nausicaä and, imo, suffers a little bit in comparison but still a great anime sci-fantasy romp. 

The Thing (1982) - Disgusting sci-fi horror in the glacial Antarctic wastes

The Twilight Zone (1959-1964) - The first, the best. Sure, it’s inconsistent in terms of quality, but it’s at least consistently weird and inventive and the good episodes are really damn good. Also something I love about it is the acting- it’s very over-the-top expressive and exaggerated. Feels more like it’s meant for the stage than for the small screen. You don’t see a lot of TV like that these days. 

The X-Files (1993-2002, 2016-2018) - Absolutely in my top 5 TV shows. It was great to watch as a 14-year-old because I was still young enough to find it scary, and it’s great on every re-watch because I can really appreciate how much chemistry Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny have and how fun, goofy, and overall weird it is. As I recall it starts to decline noticeably in season 8. Season 9 you’ll have to grit your teeth to get through. The 2016-2018 revival is half composed of unwatcheable “storyline” episodes and half surprisingly good-to-great “monster of the week” episodes.

Cowboy Bebop (1998-1999) - My number one favorite anime, I love everything about it. So much effort goes into small background details and characters that only appear for a few seconds and it really goes a long way to making the whole universe of the show feel so real that you could see yourself living in it. Also the soundtrack is top-notch, I listen to it regularly. 

Neon Genesis Evangelion (1995-1996) and End of Evangelion (1997) - Another one that I took too long to get to and to be honest I probably would’ve been more into it had I watched it when I was younger, but it’s still great and I recommend it. Features a classic “inflation suit” episode

Stuff that’s less “essential” but I really like it:

Planetes (2003-2004) - My second favorite anime. Starts off as a workplace slice-of-life and slowly builds into a really, really emotional conclusion. Can’t recommend it enough.

Forbidden Planet (1956) - A sci-fi adaptation of Shakespeare’s The Tempest (I’m an illiterate piece of shit so I can’t tell you how good an adaptation it is). It’s slow-paced and eerie, and way more atmospheric than its decidedly 1950s visuals would lead you to believe.

Digimon: The Movie (2000) / Summer Wars (2009) - A short story: as a kid I probably watched the Digmon Movie about a million times. It was huge with kids my age and was probably an entire generation’s first introduction to ska-punk. It’s a great movie. Anyway, fast forward about a decade and a half and at some point I sit down to watch Summer Wars with my brother on no other information than that we heard it’s good. And it is! But pretty soon into the movie we both notice something odd- it seems to feature almost the exact same plot as the Digmon Movie. After a bit of digging we find out that they were both directed by the same guy and it seems he just had this idea in his head for a story that he really wanted to make for over a decade because Summer Wars is basically a more mature and less merchandisable remake. Watch them both!

Samurai Jack (2001-2004, 2017) - the first cartoon I saw as a kid that really made me say “finally, something for me!” I wouldn’t get another TV show aimed at me that was “cool” and “epic” and “badass” until ATLA came out. Nothing beats watching a samurai fight a million robots and bounty-hunters on an endless quest to go back to the past. Also the season 5 revival is great and I genuinely don’t get why a lot of people seemed to really hate on it. 

Moon (2009) - It’s been a LONG time since I watched it, but I liked it quite a bit. A lonely lunar miner runs into what seems to be his double and things get spooky…

Prospect (2018) - More space miners running into trouble! Really great costume and prop design on a super small budget (but you wouldn’t know it from how good it looks). 

Mobile Suit Gundam 0080: War in the Pocket (1989) - Listen- I’m not a gundam guy. I don’t care about all the different robots and I’m not about to watch 40 years of TV to try and figure out the story. Which is why War in the Pocket is great because it’s six episodes long and it just tells a really touching story punctuated by cool robot battles and you don’t need to know anything about Gundam to enjoy it.

Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honnêamise (1987) - A story about a space race set on an alternate world. What really sets it apart is the visual design- every detail from books, to currency, to texts to vehicles, to architecture is unique enough to feel totally alien but also grounded enough to somehow feel familiar. It’s quite an achievement. Trigger Warning: there’s a very uncomfortable rape scene in the middle of the film that seems to come out of nowhere. I’m still not sure why they chose to include it.

Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade (1999) - Military police get up to some real nasty stuff in alternate history fashy 1950s Japan. Very depressing, all my friends complained to me about how sad it was even though they went into it knowing what it was about and agreeing to watch it with me. You just can’t win sometimes!

That’s about all I have for now. I know it’s all kind of basic bitch stuff but like I said, I don’t often watch movies/TV. Hope it helps and thanks for the great question!

[opanchu]

I talk a lot about disliking shrek the third and trust me it's not without reason. it refused to take the franchise seriously, making too many parts into jokes when it's unneeded and even then the jokes never land, it TRIES to have a good message about shrek overcoming his fear of becoming a father and with arthur finding confidence in himself after being bullied but it fails, it feels like it doesn't even try to go for the same type of feel that the first two movies went for with having a really deep message and emotionally-driven story under some ACTUALLY well-written comedy (you know, layers) and made the entire franchise fall into "kiddie cartoon bullshit" category instead of being a beloved franchise with good writing that doesn't treat the audience as immature. it stretches the story too much and not giving many characters no importance. its plot about shrek becoming a father was literally be summed up in a few minutes in shrek forever after.

forever after went in the same angle as the first two movies, trying to get the franchise back up after the third movie (it even comments on this indirectly: "i used to be an ogre, now i'm just a jolly green joke") but people have already started viewing the franchise as what the third movie set up and were too stupid to go back to the beginning. it's a well-written movie that didn't get enough love because the third movie tainted everyone's view of the franchise. i genuinely feel like if forever after was the third movie, people wouldn't have made the entire franchise into a goddamn joke.

it purposefully pulls you into a world that's all about showing you the emotional layer of the story. it takes place in a universe where shrek was never born, thus purposefully getting rid of the comedy and lighthearted pop music—aka, what makes shrek, shrek. it feels odd and too gloomy because that's what it's SUPPOSED to be. it purposefully takes the story and twists it inside out, especially with fiona, who rescued herself from her tower and lives as an ogre who rejects being a human princess, as opposed to in the first movie where she had to be saved and was a human princess who rejected being an ogre. it's the first time the series actually establishes that she was traumatized by her time in the tower, being locked in there since she was a young child, crying herself to sleep every night, waiting for a true love that never came. the movie has darker themes throughout, especially that shrek would die if he can't find a way to make true love's kiss work. it has shrek crying for the first time, in despair about wanting to get back to his life with his family and friends. it has a major plot about the villain wanting to imprison all ogres (except fiona, since she's not "all ogre"), and shrek turning himself in and sacrificing his freedom for everyone else, even though he KNOWS he would die soon. it has shrek realizing that true love's kiss is real after being given a loving family and friends, and fiona thinking true love's kiss is a lie because her true love never came for her when she needed him. and when the kiss does work, shrek tells fiona that he fell in love with her all over again, then returning to his own universe, having gained true appreciation for the loving family and friends he has.

and yet people have the audacity to call it a bad movie, because they lack media literacy and they thought the rare moments of humor in the first few minutes were the only good parts of the movie, despite it barely having humor on purpose? i thought you wanted an emotionally-driven story again, isn't forever after good enough for you?

[skyhopedango]

Loulou*di - Think of Me: ARK

So, I finally had time to properly listen to this, and...

"Are you guys going to die soon? I mean, since you're here..."

...

cries and cries and cries and cries

...

For fuck's sake, this story... 😭This is going to break my heart and dance on the pieces, right? I mean, my heart is already breaking for these three assholes who are ultimately the products of an infinitely sick and corrupt system built on preying on vulnerable people, treating them as products, exploiting them until the last drop of their blood, without a regard to their mental and physical well-being, and then discarding them without further ado.

Also, let me get out of character for a moment (because usually I really don't do or support this, I mean these are fictional characters), but that one fangirl... "fangirl"... SHE CAN JUST GO TO HELL. Seriously girl! Sure, being a fan of an artist doesn't mean you must love everything they put out, doesn't mean you have to stick with them and be a fan of them for the rest of your life, but this? And for such a shitty, stupid reason? If the art, the music is still good, then...

....but that's just the thing with idols, right? :/ As an idol, you're not there to sell music, you're not there to sell art or even a message. You're not there to express yourself and your art. You're there to sell a fantasy. That's the entire reason you've been picked and trained and given a carefully built-up image, to sell a certain kind of fantasy to cater to a certain kind of target demographic. And once that fantasy stops working for whatever reason, once that target demographic decides they don't want what you sell anymore, well - you're not needed anymore. You're not irreplaceable any more than

well

any more than a flower that blooms and wilts and then is discarded.

...

Remember the time when the publisher decided to decouple the HanaDoll* songs from the drama CDs, that is, decided to sell the songs separately as well as part of the drama, saying that they're doing this because the story is going to become pretty hardcore and not for everyone, so they're giving people a chance to just listen to the songs without getting the story? I was kind of rolling my eye at that, thinking it was just a thinly veiled excuse to drive sales. And y'know, in case of Anthos*... it may be so. But for Loulou*di... their story has already been hardcore from the get-go, but it's becoming just really, really sad, tragic and even bitter and upsetting in a way that Anthos* (the "poster boys" for the franchise) is clearly not going to ever get, and I can totally see some people going "I'm not into this, just give me the pretty songs."

(By the way, Anthos*'s story not being nearly as tragic and also deeply meta re: idols and even 2.5D idol franchises is just so bitterly ironic... and it's got to be on purpose, but if it's not, it's still an unintentional stroke of genius.)

.......and looking at the teaser for NOTHING after this...

............this is going to get really, really sad, isn't it.

...Please writers, please, just... spirit these guys away into an alternate universe where they all survive and make a small indie band and just perform to people who appreciate them and not some kind of fantasy that never existed in the first place.

I mean, Ageha would probably hate that. :D;;

But still.

[mirror-to-the-past]

Here's some spoilers and discussion about my initial thoughts on Kingdom Hearts 2 below.

Nearing the end of my KH2 journey... I'd say this has probably been my favorite game so far, out of KH1, CoM, and now this. Overall, I'd say I like the composition of the story of CoM a tad more, but goddamn if the intro and outro haven't gone especially hard on KH2 (also has just generally been littered with several moments that have made the characters very endearing). And the gameplay... woo, actually is super fun. I love the love put into the reaction commands, and every fight is like a movie.

I got past the Roxas fight after like... 40+ tries, and was regretting immensely I decided to play in Proud mode. Never got frustrated at my boy, though- was just filled with respect, and it's seriously the best fight in the franchise thus far for me for giving well designed attacks that I felt were effectively telegraphed. I'm not quite sure how/why Roxas led Sora into what I assume was an internal battle, since he already seemed reabsorbed within Sora's being, but I can only assume Axel's sacrifice (since that happened right before this fight) must've reawoken him, in a way ("Tell me why 'he' chose you!") Poor Roxas has been having his life stolen. The Nobody dehumanization is such shit, dude. Roxas banging on Sora's braced keyblade over and over with that level of ferocity is fueled by such obvious rage that it's undeniable. God, he's living in my head unapologetically.

Meanwhile Xigbar was also... a fight. Less filled with respect, more frustrated about that one, lol. (I thought the sniper mechanics were pretty sick, though. Felt like I was doing Orbonne Monastary in FFXIV again). Can't help but assume several of these Organization members may maintain relevance in future installments in some way, since several seemed to have implied information/backstory that remained unrevealed prior to their disappearance (looking at you, Xigbar [casually referencing that there's been other Keyblade wielders before dying with zero explanation] and Saïx). The next game, 358/2 Days, looks like it's dealing with the Organization in what I assume is a prequel, so maybe backstory will be there?

Kairi and Riku have made my heart warm, and the whole trio's love for each other is honestly so sweet. I keep thinking about their reunion scenes and it's just... aaa, I feel crazy about it. When Kairi lowered Riku's hood and saw the face of Xehanort's Heartless and Riku looked so ashamed (then it cut away?? how dare), when Riku shielded Kairi with his body from Saïx's attack, when Kairi hugged Sora and said "this is real" because 😭 girl your abandonment issues and unachievable desire for constancy are making me feel things, and she's been struggling with the phantom sensation of forgetting someone she cared about for an entire y e a r, so having that confirmation... man. *Staring out to the ocean*

Felt so bad for her that Sora was so awkward about the hug she deeply needed, and didn't even realize the absence of the music until Sora reunited with Riku. 😂 And... oh my god, haha, that part got me. Not surprised that the Sixth Sense kid can pack a gut punch, ofc, he's got a long history of films making me weep, but like... "I looked for you! I looked everywhere for you!" While Sora was crying on his k n e e s and grasping Riku's hand like a lifeline was such amazing emotional payoff. Like, I've been joking with friends about Sora's unwavering "Riku, Riku, Riku" throughout the entire game, but damn if that didn't do a good job of making me invested via Sora, goddamn. I'm so happy my kid gets to see his silver haired punk again. And wowie, they're such a power duo? Their limit break "Eternal Session" is legitimately one of my favorite limit breaks alongside Vincent Valentine's "Satan Slam," from FF7 now. The synchrony of the dance where they pass off the weapons to each other, smooth as butter? Them going "back to back" between the different phases of their LB? (Which is adding to my evaluation of the poems from CoM I've had in the back of my head the entire damn game, by the way...) The clash of their keyblades, and the duality red-blue color scheme? Be still, my artistic heart, they're too much. For this, and the honestly impressive expression and facial rigging for what is a PS2 game, I want to give the animators a smooch.

All I want now is to know where tf Riku pulled Kairi's Keyblade from, and how she's apparently a chosen wielder too. Like, okay??? But where? How?

Oh, also would like Riku to see someone about his hand, that doesn't look too comfortable. My guy can be a badass all he wants, but if he doesn't drink his milk, put an actual cast around his wrist, and bit of work leave off from world-saving shenanigans, he's gonna be a certified hero with post-traumatic arthritis 10~ years down his little road to dawn. Apparently working for Ansem the Wise doesn't provide great health coverage.

[literalite]

!!!NOT A WCIF!!!!

hiiii <3 big ask big answer is what i'm expecting would LOVE to know your top 5/faves across various media that are new(in release or just new to you) this year! so: shows, movies, games, books, songs/albums, new artists you've discovered etc

HI IMO 🫶 happy bday btwwww!!!!! heres my top five seven of this year in no particular order 😈

LAUREL HELL by mitski (2022)

one thing about me is that i LOVE mitski... i've been waiting for the new album ever since working for the knife dropped in 2021 and she did not disappoint literally so many of the songs were SO relatable and applicable to my life its safe to say she carried me thru early 2022... heat lightning and should've been me are my two fav songs from the album but literally the whole thing is no skips for me

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE directed by daniel kwan and daniel scheinert (2022)

no bcos i walked into this movie hearing so many good things about it i was kind of worried ab it being underwhelming to my expectations But It Was Not. it made me bawl the first time i watched it highkey 🤭 something about the specific flavour of parental... disappointment?? love??? it was beautifully crafted and stephanie hsu's performance to me was unforgettable im probably going to go watch her entire portfolio ive watched the vid below like 10 times

MOB PSYCHO 100 from one and studio bones (2016-2022)

jort recommended this show to me and i finally bit the bullet and watched it in may... ITS SO BEAUTIFUL. IT JUST. clenches fist idkkk this show just is stunning on so many levels visually its my fav anime i think??? so many frames that will live in my head forever... also the nature of the narrative about Kindness without the like framework of whether its "deserved" or you're worthy of giving or receiving it really spoke to me. hats off to jort for this i'm rlly glad i got to start it while the show was airing

SMITHEREENS by joji (2022)

unfortunately i am genuinely a joji fan so i was super hyped for this album... he's got such a melancholy(?) tone to his music that rlly speaks to me i think if i seriously made music i would probably want to emulate that if even a little. my only criticism is i wished the album was longer HDKSHSK die for you and 1am freestyle r my favourite songs from it

NOPE directed by jordan peele (2022)

what hasn't already been said about this movie. IT'S SO GOOD. i love my horror movies but i will freely admit that like 80% of the films in the entire genre are just objectively Bad especially american made horror movies 🤭 jordan peele completely sidesteps that issue and nope has to be my fav of his works so far i think. it has layers like an onion i'm still thinking about it like months after watching it... mr peele already had a fan in me for life but this solidifies it

ANDOR created by tony gilroy (2022-?)

okay hear me out i know its star wars (👎) and thus my opinion on the franchise has generally been biased but this show literally knocked my ass into the water it was so unexpectedly good? and not good in a pitying oh at least x character from x series made a cameo NO the show like knew exactly what it was trying to say and said it beautifully. diego lunas performance was genuinely so moving i highly recommend everyone even if u havent watched star wars!! u dont need like all the context just watch a new hope and rogue one after the show? maybe

ICYMI by eden (2022)

finishing off with my personal fav artist of all tiiime 🥰🥰🥰 ive been literally obsessed with his music the second i found it so i was waiting patiently for this album for ages. no skip ass album i just fucking love his music it feels like im levitating it feels like my soul is being read. if i made music and it had even a sliver of this albums energy i'd die a happy man. i literally listened to nothing but it for like a week straight i think. my fav songs from it are balling and closer 2

[a-pale-azure-moon]

I SAW THE SUPER MARIO BROS MOVIE!

Overall verdict: I liked it! The art and animation are beautiful, there are SO MANY fun nods and Easter Eggs to the franchise and Nintendo's history as a whole, and it felt like the creators really wanted to do right by the series. There are some small things in it that either felt out of place or didn't quite work, but taken as a whole package, I enjoyed it. The last third of the movie especially was fantastic and had me grinning like a fool all the way to the end. If you're a fan of the series, you should definitely see it at some point, either now or when it comes to streaming. Totally worth it.

Some other thoughts with some spoilers under the cut.

-I like that they didn't try to explain or rationalize the inherent weirdness of the Mushroom Kingdom. We don't need to know how or why the blocks float, or where the powerups and prize blocks come from. They just exist, and that's how it should be. The Mario universe runs on being wacky and strange and I'm glad the movie didn't try to make it something it's not.

-I generally have a not-so-great opinion about casting celebrities to do the voice overs in animated films, because I see it as a big F-U to actual voice actors. But the cast here is fine. Jack Black's the standout as Bowser as we all pretty much knew, but the rest of the cast does a good job overall. I do not like Seth Rogan and he didn't make any effort to not sound like himself as Donkey Kong, but I was able to ignore it anyway. YMMV. I don't dislike Anya Taylor-Joy's take on Peach, but her voice feels too deep for the character.

-I laughed at the reveal that Mario doesn't like mushrooms (womp womp). Poor guy.

-The brotherly moments between Mario and Luigi were super wholesome and I loved them, especially how they hug when they're reunited.

-One of my fears about the film was what they'd do with Peach, mainly a concern that they'd turn her into a more generic Hollywood "girlboss" and strip her of her personality. Or turn her into a snarky jerk. Thankfully, that's not the case. While she is more of an action princess here than we typically see of her (and to anyone complaining about or questioning that, shut up. Peach has always been capable of platforming and kicking ass since 1988), she is still essentially Peach. She's always in her signature pink aside from when she's using a power up, she's sweet and kind and protective of her subjects, and she grows to be Mario's biggest supporter (Luigi aside).

-They also slipped in an origin story for her (kinda) which was neat. And possibly a sequel hook. And I like how this movie makes clear that she loves the toads and they love her too, something that's implied in the games but wasn't always explicitly shown.

-THE ARE SO MANY EASTER EGGS. I'm guessing it's impossible to find them all without a guide. And the references generally aren't slammed in your face but hidden in background details or in the music, which makes it even better. I think my favorite was Luigi's ringtone being the Gamecube startup jingle.

-Seriously, the art direction and animation are incredible. I hope the entire crew gets a raise. I love how the Mushroom Kingdom looks and my only complaint is that I wanted to see more of it.

-The score is incredible too. It's mind-boggling how many classic Mario themes and musical nods you can hear at different points. If you played a drinking game with it, you'd be dead of alcohol poisoning less than halfway through the movie.

-Bowser's probably the funniest character, and it does nothing to reduce how threatening he is (he's downright terrifying in the climax). But special shoutout to the Luma who spouts some of the best lines in the film. They're incredibly dark, but I love that little guy.

-Dry Bones are nightmare fuel here and I love it.

-The complaints about the pacing aren't entirely off. The movie does feel a little too brisk, but some of that I think is that early in, there's a lot of "bullet points" plot progression, where Mario and Peach are just doing X, Y and Z for the plot while we intercut with what's going on with Luigi or Bowser. There's not a ton of connective tissue between these scenes and so it feels a bit disjointed, and the result is that things happen rapid fire. It's not necessarily bad, but it is something that could've been done more smoothly.

-The third act is by far the strongest part of the film. Once the Rainbow Road sequence starts (which is a gorgeous set piece), the flow of the movie feels more natural. The strong ending does a lot to patch up some of the flaws in the middle parts.

-The final battle with Bowser is awesome. Mario and Luigi both kick the crap out of him while powered by an invincibility star, and they cap it off by spinning him by the tail a la SM64. Perfection.

-While the original score is great as I mentioned, I think some exec made them shove in some 80s pop songs and they feel quite out of place. The worst offender by far is "Take on Me" playing when Mario reaches the Kong Kingdom. It doesn't fit for either the vibe of the scene or for the movie in general. You can't tell me they couldn't have done a remix of some DKC music there instead.

-The jokes are a bit hit or miss at times. There's plenty of genuinely funny moments (Bowser's love ballad is probably the highlight), but there are some one-liners that don't land. They're too "captain obvious" to be either jokes or exposition, so they just fall flat.

-I think the complaints about the "thin plot" comes from Disney/Pixar bias that animated movies are supposed to have hidden deeper meanings and there needs to be angsty moments within the wacky hijinks. And uh...Mario's never been about that. Even the more story heavy RPGs in the series tend to run more on rule of funny rather than trying to be dramatic. If they make a Zelda movie (please), I would expect it to have some genuine pathos, but I don't need that in a Mario movie. To me, the thing that is quintessential about the series (especially the platformers) is a sense of wonder and joy. I think they ably captured that in the movie. There are two emotional through lines: a) Mario and Luigi's brotherly love and b) Mario trying to figure out who he is what he wants to do. And neither needs to be dwelt on much because the brothers are happily reunited and Mario becomes a hero over the course of the film. It's simple and it works.

-The movie is very "safe" in that it didn't take any real risks with the property, but that's OK too. Given how infamously horrible the 1993 film turned out, it's hard to blame Nintendo for wanting to stick with what they knew would work.

-THE YOSHI EGG AFTER THE CREDITS OMG!

-This really is the Mario movie I wanted back in 1993. I had to wait 30 years for it, but I think it was worth it. Bring on the Nintendo Cinematic Universe!

[rex101111]

Right! I played and finished Bayonetta 3 yesterday, got to the final stage and thought “eh ill finish it in the morning” but then I just couldn’t help myself and so I blitzed through it and...well, I got some thoughts. 

Before that though: I DO recommend this game, it is a TON of fun in the gameplay, the music is great, the set pieces are really cool, the gimmick stages are few and far between and actually fun, and Jennifer Hale does a really good job as the new voice of Bayo after that whole...drama.

Not any explicit spoilers under the cut, but I do allude to things that happen in the story so yeah read with caution:

But the story is a fucking mess, not nearly as bad as some people have made it out to be (i’ve heard the phrase “character assassination” being thrown around and woah no dude easy there) but...yeah no if you’ve seen people angry and upset over the ending of this game, I could absolutely sympathize with them...were I more connected to this franchise. 

Which I’m not, I like Bayonetta as a character and the world is fun, but the stories in these games have always been a bowl of expired cat food, the saving grace was that the games seemed to be aware of it and regularly made fun of themselves in an endearing manner.

They committed to the bit.

Bayonetta 3 does not. 

Bayonetta 3 has a story about multiverse destruction and changing fate, and it makes the frankly bone headed mistake of thinking that Bayonetta of all characters, would actually take it seriously. The Bayonetta series is a silly, campy good time, tragic things happen sure, but the characters are too head strong and confident to just lay down and accept it, they spit in the face of drama and tension and tragedy because those things don’t matter to this series.

The heart and soul of Bayonetta is that you and Bayonetta are here to have fun, to stick your tongue out at huge, monstrous creatures with plans of celestial proportions and then make them look like fools. Bayonetta 3 makes those villains too strong, makes them take too many victories, which doesn’t make you want to beat them, it just feels like playing pretend with a kid and they suddenly put up their Everything Proof Shield and that just spoils the fucking fun.

Multiple times you win a boss fight, you smirk and think “hell yeah I beat them! that was awesome” and then the villain pops out of the ground, your boot print still embedded in his stupid cloudy face, and goes “NUH UH ACTUALLY I WIN BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T PAY ATTENTION NYEH” and it just got so, so fucking tiresome.

Oh! And Viola! I like Viola, I do! Her design is fun her scenes are fun she’s fun to play with (though her parry could use a few extra frames, an equivalent to bat within maybe?) and I think she fits right in with the cast. She’s kinda a reverse Bayonetta, someone who tries to be series and cool but keeps falling flat on her face. It’s endearing, I like Viola. If she shows up in future games I wouldn’t complain about getting to play as her again.

But, again, Bayonetta 3 gives her too much importance, makes her out to be more integral to the meat of the game than she honestly deserves or has earned quite just yet.

We’ve been here before, with Nero in DMC4, but that game had a more confident grasp of how to treat the story and characters. Nero had just as many levels as Dante, you play the entire first half of the game with Nero. You get used to the new way of playing the game with Nero and you get attached to the cocky little punk.

Viola has, exactly, one level for every two Bayonetta has. Counting the prolog she has less than half the levels for you to get to know her and play as her. The gameplay doesn’t make her out as important, she’s a side story bit, a bit of variance with less power and a different witch time mechanic to keep the variety up during the game.

But the story treats her with way too much weight. At the end of the game, we’re supposed to believe that she’s on the same level as Cereza, that she’s earned a place as a main character, as the main character, for the rest of the franchise.

And she absolutely fucking didn’t. Like I said, she spends the whole game trying to be cool, trying to be awesome, and falling flat on her face every time. And I mean every time, from the first cutscene to the final boss Viola gets her shit pushed in 24/7 while Bayo gets to do all the cool shit (well, when she isn’t being unfairly beaten up by the boss she just fucking beat but let’s not get stuck on that), and she doesn't really get the chance to grow into a more competent fighter as the game goes on.

If she had more levels, I personally would have been 100% fine with them reusing levels in reverse for her, she would have had more time to actually feel like she’s growing into her own, become better, be stronger, if this was supposed to be her story, it certainly didn’t fucking feel like it.

Ah. Also. Luka.

Again, no explicit spoilers, but apparently someone at Platinum decided that the dude who had minimal story significance in the first game, and zero in the second, should be the most important mother fucker in this one.

And that just does not figure for me. Not one bit.

Luka is, to me, on the same level as Enzo. He’s a dude that shows up every so often in between levels so he can make the player laugh by trying look and act cool and failing, a real dime store Dante. I like Luka, and I like him because that’s how he’s been and that’s where he works, as a feckless loser who tries his best to help Bayo while she shakes her head fondly, like you would at a clumsy puppy, and go on her way. 

Everything in this game that doesn’t work, doesn’t work for the same reason, they suddenly took this super silly game series and decided to take it seriously, but in an incomplete way.

You know why DMC5 worked? Why that game could take it self more seriously, give it’s characters more dimensions and give them growth? Because it had focus.

Boiling it down, DMC5′s story stakes are entirely personal. Its a story about family, about Dante and Vergil and Nero. Sure there’s a huge planet eating demon tree but it serves as the backdrop for a personal story about a broken family mending their bonds.

It zeroes on the main three, and gives them time to emote and grow and just be, they can still be silly and goofy and Wacky Woohoo Pizza Guy and all that stuff, but they can also take a second to just...stop, stop and take in what’s going on, and what their feeling.

They don’t get smacked around by a suddenly powerful villain to force a moment of weakness (more than once, anyway), they simply know when to stop with the bit for a minute and express themselves.

DMC5 also had the advantage of its series already diving into some pretty dramatic subjects with DMC3. This series has always been about family through the lenses of demon slaying adventures, so DMC5 had something to bring to a head...a climax if you will.

Bayonetta 3 doesn’t have that, because the Bayonetta series never really had a central theme so much as it had a central vibe, and that vibe is fun. You are here to have fun, sure there’s plots of celestial and infernal conflict and hideous monsters, but the main character is making cheesy jokes and dancing and laughing and overall treating all of this like a shopping holiday, so the prevailing attitude, the aesthetic, the vibe is fun.   

I had fun with Bayo3, I’m still having fun with Bayo3, I want to stop writing and go back to play it some more. But every now and again the game sits me down for a soap opera I didn’t ask for and that it fails to make me care about and that’s when the fun stops for me for a while.

Say what you will about Bayo1 and 2, about messy gimmick stages and tricky platforming and obtuse puzzles, but those games never, ever stop having and feeling fun. They commit to the fucking bit.

Bayonetta 3 does not. 

I can only hope that Bayo4, if it ever happens, learns from this, and we can all put this messy fucking nonsense behind us.