#seveneteen fluff

[wavesmp3]

[csc] ode to you

inspired by 'daisy jones & the six'

pairing: choi seungcheol x reader (gn) genre: band au, strangers to lovers, angst wc: 13.7k warnings: cursing, heavy alcohol usage and often in an unhealthy way, one mention of blood (a terrible case of largely irrelevant side characters, an attempt at writing song lyrics, switching pov’s without any real indication, story existing in a vacuum of time and space loosely based off of 70s usa)

synopsis → The Numbers are a band well on their way to commercial success with Seungcheol as the dreamy front man, Soonyoung on drums, Joshua on guitar, Minghao on bass, and Junhui on keys. But all that changes the second you step into the studio to record “Begin Again” with them. The song is an instant hit, launching you from a singer-songwriter nobody to the biggest new name in music and catapulting the Numbers into a larger limelight than they’ve ever been in before. So with the entire country singing your song, the pressure is on for you and the Numbers to create an entire album that lives up to their expectations. But while pressure builds, something akin to feelings for the front man builds with it.

You go to knock again on the door, heavy footsteps and heavier breaths, but just as soon as your knuckles make contact with the heavy wood, the door swings open. 

Jihoon looks disappointed. “You were going to knock again, weren’t you?”

You roll your eyes, pushing him aside and going straight for the marble bar cart you know sits in the sitting room off the formal dining area. 

“You know you really have to work on your patience.” He says to you from the foyer, voice already sounding a bit far away. You always forget how big acclaimed-music-producer Woozi's house is. Although, you think, staring at the array of top shelf liquor arranged neatly on the bar cart, mansion is probably a more apt word for it. 

You pour yourself a glass of whiskey. 

Jihoon joins you in the room once you’ve already taken a seat in one of the brown leather arm chairs. 

“How many glasses is that?”

You scoff. “I have a show at the Roxy after this.”

He hums, flicking the square paper in his hand. 

You sit up slightly. “What is that?” Jihoon takes the paper over to the record player in the opposite corner of the room. He slips a clean black record out of the manilla slip and carefully places it into position. It doesn’t take long for the gentle hum of the record spinning around the platter to fill the room. 

God, I love music. You think to yourself sitting back slightly in the armchair and allowing your eyes to shut. 

“I want you to listen to this.” You hear Jihoon say, followed by the small pop of the decanter being opened and the quiet trickle and crack of liquor falling over ice. The sound of a bass overtakes the room. It’s somehow… gentle. 

“Who’s it by?”

Jihoon doesn’t answer at first. You hear him sit down in the armchair next to yours while drums fill in the spaces of the songs and a guitar starts to hum along. And the sound that comes from the record player next–in all honesty, you don’t think Jihoon could have prepared you for. It’s a man’s voice, polished, in a way that you just know he’s been doing this for a while. His whole life maybe. There’s this rough, almost growly quality that amps the song up even more, and yet, simultaneously, his voice glides over the lyrics like honey spilling over the side of its jar. There’s so much depth in every note he hits. You don’t know if you’ve ever heard a voice–a sound–quite like this. 

“Who is this?” You ask again once the first chorus comes to a close, opening your eyes and taking a proper look at Jihoon. He looks mildly amused.

“Have you heard of the Numbers?”

Seungcheol hurries into the studio from the car, guitar in one hand and lyrics in the other, fully expecting to get chewed out by his producer. “Jihoon, I’m so sorry. There was tra-”

Seungcheol stops in his tracks. The control room is empty. He steps back into the doorway and rereads the signage. He has the right room, so then… where is everybody?

“Seungcheol,” he hears a voice call for him from the recording stage. It’s Soonyoung, waving him inside and pointing at you. You smile at him, give him a nod of sorts. His eyes dart to Jihoon, giving him a look that says, who the fuck is that? 

He walks into the recording booth hesitantly. 

“Hey.” Jihoon says casually. “I don’t think you guys have met yet.” 

You stand and approach him, sticking out your hand. Seungcheol just looks at it. 

“The label thinks you guys would sound good on one track and want you to try recording ‘Begin Again’ together.” 

He ignores your outstretched hand and looks straight at Jihoon. “Can we speak privately?”

—

Seungcheol had assumed he’d be the one getting chewed out in the studio today. Oh, how things have changed. He’s worked so hard on this song. More time and effort than he’s ever put in any of the band’s songs that came out before it. He can’t believe Jihoon would allow anyone else to try and taint it. “Begin Again” is his song. And he’ll be damned if he’s not the only one singing it. 

Seungcheol’s ready to say all of this, but, “Before you say anything,” Jihoon doesn’t even let him speak, “I know how you feel about this. But the decision came from above me, okay. The Number’s last album didn’t do as well as the label hoped. They think another voice in the band could shake things up. And who knows, “Jihoon continues with a shrug that only makes Seungcheol fume more, “maybe this could be what you guys have been missing.”

Seungcheol cannot believe what he’s hearing. “We aren’t missing anything.” 

“Don’t be dense.” Jihoon pans with a sideways stare. “I know you guys are good. I know you guys are gonna be big, but the rest of the world needs some convincing. Just try this, okay? This could be it.”

Seungcheol just shakes his head. 

“I scouted them out myself. They’re a good singer and even better writer-”

“Writer?” Seungcheol nearly screams, arms flying to point at you through the control room window where the two boys are talking. “You want them to write on the song too?”

“They have a couple of…” Jihoon sighs, choosing his next word with extra precaution, “revisions.”

“Fuck that, Jihoon. I wrote a great song. It–”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“You wrote a good song.” Jihoon refutes, matter-of-factly. “You wrote a good song, and they,” he points at you, “they made it a great one.” 

Seungcheol is speechless. 

“Here.” Jihoon pushes a piece of torn notebook paper into his hands. 

If Seungcheol wasn’t so aware of the line Jihoon was drawing, he would’ve pushed harder, but at the end of the day, Jihoon is his boss and his lifeline in this business. If Jihoon says so, really says so, then there’s not much Seungcheol can do to fight it. Seungcheol is stubborn, but he’s not a fool looking to waste his own breath. He looks back into the recording stage. The band looks happy chatting to each other. And you, well, you’re staring at him.

A red light flashes on the sound board beneath him. “Talk over the changes.” Jihoon says to the band and you through the intercom. “We record in ten minutes.”

— 

“It’s nice to meet you,” you say to Seungcheol sitting on the stool in front of the second mic. Seungcheol’s never even seen a studio setup with two mics before. He swallows a scoff. “Jihoon showed me the song the other day, and your voice it—“ 

“What does this line mean?” Seungcheol cuts in, taking his seat on the stool next to yours. “I changed my heart. I morphed my mind. You don’t have the right to tell me I didn’t try.” 

Your face drops immediately. “Are you serious?” 

Seungcheol raises a brow–a challenge.

You let out a breath of pure disbelief, focusing your gaze just above his head, and hands starting to make motions in the air. “It’s about changing yourself to be with someone. It’s about them never acknowledging that.”

“That’s not what this song is about.”

You give him a pointed look. “What do you think the song is about?”

It’s his turn for the disbelief. “What do I think the song I wrote is about?” You don’t falter, not even for a second. Seungcheol grasps at the words, mouth agape. “It’s about redemption.”

“That’s too easy.”

“How is that too easy?”

“Look,” you huff, mouth opening and closing like you can’t decide what it is you want to say. You end up reaching your arm out, palm open like you want a fucking hi-five or something. In the back of his mind, Seungcheol wonders if you’re still waiting for the handshake he never gave. “Give me your original lyrics.”

He does, you snatch the paper keeping your eyes on him for a second too long before finding whatever it was that you were looking for. “Right here,” you say, finger pointing at the tattered paper and eyes darting back and forth between him and his lyrics. Your face lights up. You look like you're holding back a smile. You look… excited. “Here, in the bridge you wrote: take me home, welcome me on those familiar roads, embrace me in your arms, oh please, tell me I still belong.”

“What about it?” Seungcheol asks, almost forgetting that he’s upset at Jihoon for this whole arrangement, nearly forgetting that he’s supposed to not be accepting any of your revisions because for the first time in so long, he’s able to really talk to someone about his lyrics. 

You look up at him fully, and almost sadly, you say, “You really don’t get it, do you?” Seungcheol looks down at the lyrics you gave him, scanning them again. Funnily enough, that line is the only one of his you’ve kept. 

“The song’s not about redemption,” you tell him. “It’s about guilt.”

—

Seungcheol, you, and the band end up recording your version of the song. It’s a good song. It’s still his melody, his hook, and his bridge, but almost none of the lyrics are his. Just like that, “Begin Again” becomes as much your song as it is his. If he wasn’t so angry at Jihoon, maybe he would’ve had the mind to notice how good you sound singing it.

Choi Seungcheol is an asshole. 

That you learned in the recording studio with him and haven’t been able to get out of your head since. Unfortunately, he’s got one hell of a voice and gift for creating a good melody. And him and Jihoon together in the studio, god, they’re magic. You went out and purchased The Number’s previous record after you recorded “Begin Again”. You haven’t stopped listening to it since. 

It’s one day when you’re working a shift at the diner that you start humming the song playing over the speaker while grabbing an order from the kitchen. You don’t even think twice about it. That is until you make it right in front of the table whose orders you’re holding and start to hear your own voice.

You nearly drop the four plates of burgers.

You rush over to the jukebox, not believing your ears, not believing that your voice, your words, your song is playing for the entire diner to hear. 

And there, right at the bottom it reads: “Begin Again” by the Numbers ft. you

“Holy shit.”

The desert wasn’t too far from home, but it could not have been more different. There was so much nothing for as far as your eyes could see. There was dust everywhere, all over the place, sifting up through the air and in your lungs. How are you supposed to sing like this?

You hear the bands’ voices come up from behind you. 

“Hey,” Seungcheol says, coming up next to you and resting an arm on the same wood railing as you. “How are you feeling?”

“Great.” You answer truthfully. You could barely believe it when you got the call from Jihoon saying that they wanted you to play the festival along with the Numbers. Although, considering that your song is playing on every radio station, it probably shouldn’t have been as surprising as it was. 

The crowd roars as the previous artist says his goodbye. 

“Have you ever played for a crowd like this?”

“Nope.”

He nods slowly. “It’s a lot. The first time especially, for sure. But just go with it, and uh,” he smiles, towards the ground, “it’s a lot of fun once you get past the nerves of it all.”

You look at him, battling against the grimace forming on your face. “Is this pep talk for me or for you? Cause I’m fine.”

His smile disappears when he sees your face. You must’ve lost the battle. 

He inhales sharply. “‘Begin Again’ is last. Come out after I introduce you.”

You nod, and he joins the rest of his band. 

The crowd cheers when they get on stage. The first song starts with a familiar guitar riff and the pound of the drums, followed by the crowd going ballistic. You’ve been playing on stage for a while now, but only ever in small clubs with small crowds. You’ve never seen a crowd like this, and it makes you ecstatic. 

You hear Seungcheol sing the final words of the song and Junhui play the final chords. And you don’t know if its the crowd or the shot of vodka you took during the bridge or the fucking look Seungcheol gives you, but something, something, makes you forget what Seungcheol said about waiting and walk right onto that stage. 

Joshua and Minghao look confused. Seungcheol looks vaguely pissed. Junhui and Soonyoung barely notice. But you don’t register any of that. All you can think as you walk onto that stage, grin flashing and arms up in the air is: this crowd was fucking waiting for me. 

You step up to your mic and wait until the crowd quiets down. You introduce “Begin Again” as a song you wrote. The crowd erupts. You look over at Seungcheol, smiling, no–grinning, loving how annoyed he looks. Minghao doesn’t miss a beat, starting the song immediately. Your body moves on its own, dancing to the song, belting out each note, and loving every second of it. It’s sometime during the second verse, the one Seungcheol sings alone, that you notice how entranced he is. His eyes are half closed, and his fingers fly across his guitar like he’s not even thinking about it. He smiles at the crowd. You think you hear someone faint. He looks your way then, right before the pre-chorus, smiling still as if he wasn’t just glaring at you. It hits you almost instantly: nothing else matters to him right now. He’s in it, like really in it, and the only thing he seems to care about is putting on a good show. He’s loving this as much as you are, and maybe that’s enough to prove that you and Choi Seungcheol are more alike than either of you think. 

You leave your mic stand and start dancing towards him. His entire body turns towards you, waiting for you, his eyes following. You meet right in front of his mic just as the chorus begins. And you’re left with no choice but to stand next to him, singing into the same mic with your faces so close you can feel every ragged breath he takes, see the sweat rolling off his hair, and hear the blood pumping through his veins. Take me home. You both sing with your entire chest. Welcome me on those familiar roads. You see him turn his head to face you. You mirror the motion, and sing the next line looking right into his eyes. Embrace me in your arms. Have his eyes always been this big? Oh please, tell me I still belong. And of course it’s this line you’re singing to each other like this. Of course it’s the one line in the entire song that you didn’t actually write and the one line he did. 

The chorus ends, and you slowly back away from his mic and move back towards yours. He rips away on his guitar, fingers still flying like it’s the easiest thing, all while never taking his eyes off you. Staring at you like he found something. Staring at you like it’s only you and him on that stage. 

You don’t even remember the song ending. 

Music flows through Northside Tavern. A jazz band is playing today, and the piano player keeps making eyes at you. 

“I heard the show over the weekend went well.” Jihoon says into your ear. You just nod. “And that the label really liked what you did with the song.”

You laugh. “Not just the label. The whole country liked it.” You give one last look to the pianist, before turning to Jihoon fully. “I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but I have a number one single.”

You head over to the bar and ask for an old-fashioned. 

“Not just you.” Jihoon yells behind you to be heard over the cheers after the band’s last song. 

You pivot. “Excuse me?” 

“It wasn’t just you.” Jihoon flags down the bartender, orders a scotch, neat. “It was the Numbers too.” 

The bartender slides over three drinks. 

You lean in over the counter. “We only ordered two.” 

Wordlessly, the bartender points to the other side of the bar. The piano player holds up their drink. Jihoon grabs his drink, and you grab the remaining two. You lift them both up towards the pianist who gives you a rather charming smile, and then take a simultaneous sip from the straws of both drinks. You taste your old-fashioned and what seems to be a margarita. 

You and Jihoon make your way over to a booth. 

“What I wanted to say,” Jihoon continues, “is that the label likes you with the band, and they want you to make an album with them.”

“An album?” You suck in your bottom lip, feeling a sudden rush from all the alcohol. An album is exactly what you’ve been pushing and working so damn hard for. So then why does this feel bittersweet?

“I think this is going to be a good thing.” Jihoon tells you sincerely, eyes softening. “You and Seungcheol…” he hesitates for a moment. You hate when he chooses his words like this, picking out the bad ones and testing out all the others. But perhaps you only hate it so much because you lack the ability to do it yourself. “You guys work.”

You take another long double sip of your drinks, squinting at Jihoon skeptically. “What did Seungcheol say?”

Jihoon’s mouth parts. There. There it fucking is. Running your tongue over your top set of teeth, you say, “you haven’t asked him yet, have you?”

“No, we haven’t asked him yet–”

“I can’t believe this.”

“–but the rest of the band is already on board, and we all thought it’d be smarter if you agreed before we asked him.”

You tilt your head slightly. You thought Jihoon knew you better than this. “I’m not saying anything until he does.”

“Be honest with yourself here,” Jihoon says seriously, pushing his drink to the side and leaning forward, “it’s no secret that you and Seungcheol don’t get along. And I get it; I really do. But I know you see it.”

You cross your arms over your chest. “See what?”

“Most people in this business spend their entire lives looking for what he and you found during the ‘Begin Again’ sessions and again on the stage at the festival. And most people fail. Don’t throw that away over whatever bullshit he gave you when you first met. Don’t throw away the chance you’ve been waiting for because of that. You guys belong together. Focus on that.”

You don’t say anything after Jihoon finishes his little speech. Instead you reach for your drinks and finish them both in one long, prolonged sip. You ignore his annoyed ‘tsk’. 

Putting the empty glasses down and to the side, you nod up at him, pursing your lips. “Are you done?”

He takes a long, final swig of his drink. “Yes.”

“Ask Seungcheol first.” You pull out your wallet and drop a couple bills on the table. “Then, you can call me.”

Today is already off to a bad start. 

Seungcheol had come into the studio ready to record and knock out at least 2 or 3 songs off the album today, but then Minghao wanted to talk about the album’s direction and Soonyoung wanted to request everyone to add as many drum parts as possible. 

And it’s as he’s listening to Junhui and Soonyoung argue about the addition of piano solos, that you walk into the studio. 

Jihoon welcomes you with a hug. Hansol, the sound engineer, offers to make you tea. Meanwhile, Seungcheol can’t understand why you deserve any kindness at this moment. Your session started an hour ago. 

“You’re late.” Seungcheol says, bringing the rest of the band to notice your arrival. 

You look at him with a smile, gesturing to the two boys who were just arguing. “Doesn’t really look like I missed anything.”

“We were talking about the album’s direction.” Minghao says from behind Seungcheol. 

You nod, putting down your stuff and taking a seat. “Okay, shoot.”

Seungcheol puts his hands up. “Well since we’re talking about it. I’ve been working on a couple songs, and,” he hesitates, pulling out a couple sheets of paper that Jihoon helped him print and handing them out, “I think I might have something good that we can build the rest of the album off of.”

Everyone takes a moment to read. Seungcheol watches the room carefully. Joshua clears his throat. Junhui plays a loose note. 

Your voice is the first that comes out of the silence. “Are you serious?”

He whips his head around. “What?”

“‘Will you still love me when I’m old? Will you still love me when I’m proud.’” You read aloud, before shoving the paper back towards him, that mocking smile still plastered on your face. “I’m not singing that.”

He scoffs, tongue swiping at his lips. “Why not? They’re good songs.”

You shrug. “They’re cheesy.”

“You haven't even read the whole thing.”

“I’ve read enough.”

“Are–are you… is this–I mean, like, you…” Seungcheol only knows one thing for sure right now: you might be the most insufferable person he’s ever met. “Jihoon!” 

“Okay, you know what,” Jihoon’s voice comes through the intercom. You both turn towards it. “How about you two go home and figure out some way to work together instead of wasting my studio time. Write one song, just one, together, and the rest of us can go from there tomorrow.”

He slips a curse between a breath. 

“Okay?”

You and Seungcheol look back at each other. It’s you who speaks first this time. “That’s fine with me.”

—

It’s a nice day out today. The sun shines through big clouds. There’s a nice breeze, and the roadways are empty. You’re sitting in the passenger seat humming something he can’t hear over the wind while Seungcheol drives. In all honesty, he doesn’t even know where he’s heading, but it might be the first time he's felt some semblance of peace with you around. 

The announcer on the radio station introduces the next song. Seungcheol turns it up and sings alongside Kim Mingyu’s voice. You stop humming.

“You like this song?” You ask. 

He quickly glances at you. “Yeah, who doesn’t.” The song was insanely popular a year or two ago. If you didn’t like it at first, you heard it enough on the radio and in every store until you did. Although, it doesn’t actually take anyone very many listens to fall in love with it. Unfortunately, the rest of Kim Mingyu’s songs never quite lived up to this one. 

“I wrote this song.” You say to him, as if it’s the most simple thing. 

“Oh, really?” Seungcheol replies with a chuckle. “You worked with Kim Mingyu?”

“Well, not all of it, but the melody and most of the lyrics, yes.” You tell him seriously, like you haven’t even registered that he thought you were joking. “I mean, worked is a strong word, but we did date for a bit.”

 Seungcheol stops at a red light and spends it staring you in disbelief. 

“Come on,” you say after a moment, “you really think Kim Mingyu wrote this song?” 

Seungcheol listens to it again: They could never get it out of their heads. Like a scene on repeat. Like a mountain falling. Something unforgettable, but forgotten still. Something like you. Someone like me. 

And instantly, it clicks–of course you wrote this song. Of course it’s the case that Kim Mingyu’s best song and one of Seungcheol’s favorites was written by none other than you. 

He looks over at you while at another light. Your head leans back against the car seat, and your arm hangs over the edge of the open window. You don’t look like you’re enjoying listening to the song even if you are the one that wrote it. In fact, you look mildly annoyed, nose scrunched while inspecting your nail beds, teeth grinding. 

Seungcheol changes the station thinking: why’d you let him take it?

Before he can really think about it any further, you sit up in your seat and point at the next light. 

“Turn right up there. I know a place.”

— 

When you had said that you knew a place, Seungcheol imagined that it’d be a coffee shop or an empty bar or anything other than the middle of the woods sitting on the rocks along a stream. 

Although, he must give you credit: the setting you’ve taken him to is beautiful. There are birds humming and life strumming all around you. The water is a blistering blue that glistens and shines in the sunlight streaming through the trees like a million coins falling from the sky. The water has a small current running through it, and it beats against the rocks lightly, like the lightest, most gentle drum beat. The breeze is nice and cool on Seungcheol’s skin, sifting through his hair and past his limbs. And maybe the best part is how all around him, on every single side, he’s surrounded by green. 

It would have been perfect, if not for the fact that you and him have been here for two hours and still have absolutely nothing. 

“Okay,” you relent, after he turns down another one of your ideas for a song, “how about this melody?”

You start humming one of the worst melodies Seungcheol’s ever heard in his life.

“Absolutely not.”

You grunt frustrated, arms falling through the air. Your head follows suit, settling in your hands, face buried from his view. 

“Why’d you even say yes to this?” You snap, looking up at him after a moment, brows furrowed and hands gesturing vaguely in the air. “If you have no intention of taking any idea I give you seriously, why did you say yes to this?”

“I didn’t.” Seungcheol reminds you. “Neither of us did. Jihoon kicked us out of the studio.”

“I don’t mean that.” You flare. “I mean letting me in to do this album with the Numbers. Why’d you agree to it?”

There’s a change in the wind. A sudden quietness that must be attributed to some insect dying. Seungcheol hadn’t expected you to ask this. He hadn’t even expected you to think it. 

“It wasn’t…” he starts, looking for the words in the space between you and him. He looks up at you, hoping to find them there. Instead he finds hope in them. 

Seungcheol has been in this exact spot before–sitting in front of someone that wants to believe in him and is asking him to give them a reason. He’s seen this before, and he has no interest in repeating his past mistakes. He sees no need to add you to the list of people he’s disappointed. With a short laugh, he says, “You know what, let’s just get back to writing.”

“Fuck that.”  You respond immediately, grabbing at his guitar.

“What are you–”

“No. Fuck that.” You repeat, successfully pushing his guitar off his lap. “If this is going to work, you have to at least pretend like you trust me. Song writing isn’t just strumming on your guitar all day and hoping for the best. It’s vulnerability, and it’s pouring your heart and soul and life into something and praying that someone out there feels the same way. That’s what ‘Begin Again’ was. And every single person who listened and liked that song and every single person who sang with us at the festival is saying that they feel the same way. So, what are you so afraid of? Why do you feel like you can’t trust me?”

Seungcheol gulps. “Which question should I answer first?”

You inhale slowly. “The latter.”

Seungcheol just shakes his head. “I don’t know you.”

“Ask me then.” You say desperately, like it should have been obvious to him, “whatever it is that you want to know just ask it.”

Seungcheol nods. In truth, there’s a million questions he wants to ask you about everything, but at this moment, all those questions sink to the bottom of his mind and only one rises to the top and travels to the tip of his tongue. “Why’d you let Kim Mingyu take credit for that song?”

You lean back slightly at his questions. Looking away from him and towards the murky waters before answering. “Believe it or not, I wasn’t always like this.” You tell him, laughing lightly. “I used to let guys like you walk all over me.”

His heart jumps into his throat. He’s barely able to choke out a, “guys like me?”

You nod, still refusing to meet his eyes. “Guys who don’t believe that I have what it takes.”

“I never said that.”

“But you showed me.”

“When?”

You look at him then, squinting. He hopes what you see is genuineness. He asked the question sincerely. “When you were so quick and ready to dismiss my changes to the lyrics during the ‘Begin Again’ takes. When you let me join your band on this album, and then expected me to sing an entire record full of songs that mean nothing to me. I’m a songwriter, Seungcheol. It’s the one thing about me that no one can take.”

Something between intrigue and malice slips in behind his tongue. “So what can people take?”

You shake your head, smiling ever so slightly. “My turn. What are you so afraid of?”

Seungcheol inhales sharply. “Well, I’m afraid of dying and of heights and–”

“Stop that.” You cut in, like you really mean it. “Why are you so afraid to say what you really think?”

He sucks in his bottom lip, shrugging. “‘Begin Again’ was your song more than it was mine. What if people don’t like what I have to say? What if they can’t relate and just think I’m fucked up and crazy?”

Your eyes soften, and your smile lines deepen. It takes a moment for him to register that you're smiling, really smiling, at him. He’s never known a smile could feel so inviting. 

“But what if they do?”

Seungcheol takes a moment to think about what you’ve said. And in that moment, whatever insect had died gets resurrected, returning to nature’s hum, filling his ears. Seungcheol looks all around him. The hum of life, the beat of water, the tune of leaves falling. He’s surrounded not just by nature and greenery, but also by music. And it’s erupting from every corner of these woods.

His eyes finally land on you.

“I think I found our melody.”

When you come into the studio the next day, the song is done. You went to sleep humming it still and running through the lyrics over and over again in your head.

“Let us sing it for you first,” Seungcheol suggests to the rest of the band with Jihoon listening in from the control room. “And whenever you feel like you got it, just hop in with what you think works, and we can refine and shape it from there.”

You watch the rest of the band as Seungcheol explains it. Minghao looks shocked, but excited. Soonyoung looks proud. And you can’t really read what the other two are thinking. 

“Jihoon, are we good?” Seungcheol asks, turning around to the window into the control room. 

“Whenever you’re ready.” Jihoon replies, voice filtering in through the intercom. You nod. Seungcheol nods. The rest of the band nods. Jihoon presses a couple buttons and says, “This is ‘Can You See Me’.”

Seungcheol starts playing the chords he found yesterday. You’re not sure why or how but it reminds you of those woods. His voice starts singing the first line of the song. You close your eyes and take it in. You join him for the chorus, singing alongside his voice feeling the words flow. It’s Junhui that joins you two first, playing a couple loose notes, testing things out. By the end of the chorus, he’s found it, playing a little more confidently and adding a whole new level of depth to the song. A depth that makes you feel like you’ve only ever known two colors your whole life and in a matter of seconds Junhui added in a third. Joshua joins in next, as your voice takes over for the second verse, playing off what Seungcheol was playing but making it his own. Seungcheol goes over to where Soonyoung’s sitting and says something to him in his ear. Soonyoung nods. Seungcheol goes over to Minghao, but Minghao shakes his head, already starting to play something. Seungcheol heads back to his mic right before the second chorus starts. You turn and sing the last line of the pre-chorus to him

And I know that you never trusted me. 

He joins you for the chorus, singing back.

Can you see me standing from there? And can you see the blood on my hands? If I give you all of the parts to my heart, Will you care that I’ve been scarred and stitched up?

Soonyoung starts playing then, the drums filling in the last thing the song needed. You listen to the rest of the band play and marvel at how insanely talented they all are to pick up and play something that actually works after only a minute of hearing it. The song needs polishing, yes, but it’s got a good sound and it’s heading in the right direction.  

You don’t take your eyes off Seungcheol, and he doesn’t take his eyes off you. And for the remainder of the song, you sing to each other. 

The song ends. The last one playing is Junhui. And for a couple seconds, no one says anything. 

It’s Jihoon’s voice that comes out of the silence first. “I’m a fucking genius.” 

You smile at Seungcheol. He smiles back. 

After recording and polishing ‘Can You See Me’, you and Seungcheol fall into a song-making rhythm of sorts.

(We don’t always have it perfect.)

“I feel like this lyric in ‘Puzzle Pieces’ doesn’t fit.” You say to Seungcheol, before muttering the lyric outloud. “It’s too shy. I don’t know. I just think it’s missing the mark a little bit, don’t you think?”

Seungcheol groans tiredly. “God, I can’t think about this anymore. Can we take a break? Go get some food or something?”

“Yes, but before we do, do you think ‘I see us standing in the distance’ or ‘I see you standing in the distance’ works better here?”

Seungcheol just stands ignoring your question and muttering ‘no’ repeatedly. 

You follow, running after him and begging him to listen. 

(Boy, do we fight.)

“I think there should be more drums in the hook.” Seungcheol announces after the third run through. 

“Why?”

His eyes widen, sarcastically. “Because there should be.”

“Don’t do that.” You scoff, used to his antics. “Answer the question: why?”

He sighs, resting his hands on his hips. “It’s missing something. The song still feels empty. I mean, the lyrics allude to a love that’s blooming and growing between two individuals, but nothing behind the lyrics build up with it. There’s almost a disconnect between the words and the music.”

“I disagree.” 

He scoffs. “All that for–”

“I think it works just fine without the drums, and if you add the drums it’ll become more suspenseful. The song is supposed to feel like falling.”

He shakes his head. “It’s supposed to feel like butterflies.”

“It’s supposed to feel like peace.”

(Sometimes you win.) 

“Let’s vote.” Seungcheol suggests. “If you’re for the drums, raise your hand.”

Only Soonyoung (the drummer), does.

(Sometimes you lose.)

Jihoon presses the red button on the sound board, announcing to the recording stage, “Take 3 of Aurora. Seungcheol, try softening your voice a little for this one.”

“Jihoon, can we just try one take with me in it?” You ask him. “I think even if I were just singing a harmony or in the background of the bridge, it would add so much.”

“No.” Jihoon says, scribbling something down in his notebook. “I’m with Seungcheol on this one.”

“Jihoon, you haven’t even heard my–”

“This song doesn’t need your voice.”

(But sometimes, we get it just right and fit like the last two puzzle pieces.)

“No,” you say, shaking your head as Joshua and Minghao finish off the last chords of the song, “It needs to sound murkier.”

Joshua, Junhui, Soonyoung, and Minghao just stare at you blankly.

“Less cymbals, Soonyoung.” Seungcheol says over the speaker from the control room. “And Minghao, ride out the low tones more.” 

You turn and see him. He catches your eyes, smiling slightly, reassuring you. Like he gets you. 

From behind you, you hear Junhui lightheartedly mutter, “since when do they have their own language?”

Joshua and Soonyoung laugh, but you barely notice because you see him. You see the way his brows furrow when he’s thinking. You see the way he sticks out his tongue when he’s focused. You see all of it. 

And for a moment, he sees you. All of you. And he doesn’t turn away from it.  

Today’s songwriting session quickly turned into a field trip from the studio to grab food which then turned into you leading Seungcheol’s car to the beach. You and Seungcheol sit on a stone ledge, right where the sand begins, 20 paces away from the ocean. Between you sits leftover fries and your untouched song notebook. You watch the sun dip into the sea and listen to the waves crash over and over again. The wind pushes furiously, tossing his hair to the side and pushes his head away from it. It just so happens that away from the wind means towards you. 

“So,” you begin, popping a fry in your mouth and dusting the salt off your hands, “when are you going to answer my question of why you let me in the band?”

Seungcheol figured this question was coming. He’s been avoiding answering it. “You really want to know?”

You look at him sincerely. “Yes.”

Seungcheol looks out to the water. “After our first album, Jihoon prepared a tour for us. It was this tiny tour, not even big enough for a tour manager. We played in the smallest venues with okay-sized crowds. I mean, it was barely a tour, really more of a way to get our name out there. And after the northern leg of it, I…” Seungcheol closes his eyes and sees moments from that tour flash behind his lids: strobe lights, bodies in bed, empty glasses, and negative pockets. Sometimes memories can feel like nightmares. “I was just in a really, really, bad place. By the time we were halfway down the east coast, I was barely even able to play. Jihoon saved me then. He saved my fucking life. But he had to cancel the rest of the tour in that process. The rest of the band, man, they couldn’t even stand the sight of my face. Minghao especially. It was Jihoon who ended up being the one to convince them to let me back in. I owe Jihoon my entire livelihood and my life. So when he asked what I thought about you joining the band for this album and when I saw how badly he wanted it to happen, I owed it to him to say yes.”

It’s been so long since he’s recounted that story, even to himself. It doesn’t hurt as much as it once did. That knowledge surprises him. 

“Where are you now?” You ask suddenly, pulling him out of his head.

He turns to you. “What?”

“If you were in a bad place then, where are you now?”

The wind quiets for a moment; he feels a warmth overtake him in its absence. “Someplace better.”

He looks down, not even noticing the smile growing on his face, and catches sight of your notebook. He points at it, asking, “may I?”

You look down at it as well, grabbing another fry. “Sure.”

He flips through the pages of your notebook. The first half isn’t even songs. It’s snippets, words, singular sentences taking up an entire page. It’s only halfway through the book that it actually turns into something that could be called songwriting. He asks you about it. 

“Ah, that’s when I met Jihoon.” You tell him, smiling fondly. Seungcheol puts the notebook down and waits for you to explain. “Before him, I had songs, but they weren’t real songs, you know? They were just some combination of all the snippets and sentences I had written down. But then Jihoon heard me play at the Eastern, and said that I had a good voice. He asked if he could give me his card so that we could talk more, and I said that I wasn’t interested in people who only saw me for my voice and walked away.” 

“You’re insane.” Seungcheol mutters, baffled. He remembers the chance encounter he had with Jihoon right after he and the band moved down here to make a name for themselves. He remembers how hard he begged for the same chance Jihoon offered to you so simply. “So, how’d you end up working with him then?”

“He found me again at the diner I used to work at after that. I told him I still wasn’t interested, and he asked if I had written the song I played that night at the Eastern. I said yes, and he said that he was only interested in my voice because my songs weren’t there yet.”

Seungcheol chuckles.  “So he’s always been an asshole then?”

“Oh yeah.” You nod, mirroring the sound. “He was an asshole about it, but he was right. And it was the first time that someone believed in me enough to think that I could be better. That is what made me want to try and write a song that would make him see that I’m as good of a songwriter as I am a singer. I spent a lot of time working and got out one good song. I sang it all across the strip. He finally saw me play again at Ben’s Garage. I let him sign me after that.”  

“What was that song about?”

Your lips do this half frown thing that makes Seungcheol want to peer inside your brain and figure out exactly where it came from. “It was about what all songs are about.”

“Which is?”

You look at him like it’s obvious. “Love.”

It feels like a shot of sunlight through his veins. 

Seungcheol drives you back home after the beach. You had gotten nothing done in terms of the album, but you felt happy, and you felt free. You watch him from the corner of your eye. You’ve only known each other for some months now, but it feels like so much longer. You’ve told him more about yourself and your past than anyone else you’ve met in your adult life. You’ve told him your deepest worries and darkest secrets, and he never turned away from you, not once. Instead he took your insecurities and turned them into beautiful melodies. He turned all your doubts into celebrations of hope. And he did it for you. 

Suddenly, it no longer feels like you only met him when you recorded ‘Begin Again’ together. Suddenly, it feels like you’ve known him since you were a teenager and like you’ve been in love with him ever since. Your palms start to sweat. Your heart sinks past your lungs. Is it all those goddamn fries or him that’s making your stomach turn?

He turns onto your street. This is it, you think to yourself. This is everything I’ve been waiting for.

He walks you to your door, and you stand facing each other on your porch. 

“This was nice.” You tell him, taking another step towards him. 

“It was.” He mumbles, a lazy smile on his face.  

You take another step towards him. He doesn’t move back. His mouth parts. You watch his lips, trace them with your gaze. You think about what it would feel like to kiss them. 

“Do you want to come in for a bit?” The words come flying out of your mouth involuntarily. You barely register that you’ve said them. They didn’t come from your mind but from a tiny spot deep in your gut where the urge to take another step towards him lies. You give into that urge without thinking twice about it. You’re closer to him than you’ve been in months. The last time you were this close being that moment on stage during the ‘Begin Again’ performance. You’re surprised you remember that. His breaths then were ragged, uneven. His breaths now are barely there, like he isn’t even breathing. You can smell the mint he popped in his mouth when you left from the beach. You can smell whatever perfume he must’ve sprayed on his neck this morning. 

And you’re so wholly aware of the fact that his eyes are looking at your lips. 

He turns away from you and glances at your door, saying, “I should go.” 

You feel something in your chest sink and sink and sink. 

“I’ll see you in the studio tomorrow.” He continues. “We still gotta help Junhui figure out his part for ‘Puzzle Pieces’.” 

And with that he’s off, and you’re left standing on the porch alone wondering how someone can look at you like that and then just leave. You look down by your feet and see your heart sitting there, next to your shoes. You leave it there and head it inside. 

The next day, Jihoon cancels your studio time without explanation and reschedules you and the band for the following day. 

When that day finally does come, Seungcheol doesn’t show up on time to help you and Junhui figure out the right notes to play for the song you wrote together like he said. Instead, he stumbles into the studio late with a song in his hand wearing the same clothes he wore with you at the beach. And that alone, feels like a betrayal of some sort. 

“What’s it about?” Joshua asks.

He looks around the room, excited. “It’s about my new partner.” 

You feel the urge to vomit all over the recording stage. 

—

Jeonghan, it turns out, is Seungcheol’s partner’s name. Seungcheol had brought him into the studio a week after they started dating, and he’s been coming routinely ever since. As much as you hate it and as much as it makes your heart bend and break, Seungcheol looks really, genuinely happy with him. You wonder if he ever looked like that with you. 

You really wish you hated Jeonghan, but you don’t. He’s actually quite nice and gets along with the whole band so easily. He even makes friends with Jihoon. You thought he might be a distraction to Seungcheol while writing and recording, but Seungcheol is more focused and productive and creative than ever. The song he wrote right after meeting him is good, like stupidly good. There isn’t a single word in it that needs changing. 

With your help, Seungcheol writes another song about him, called ‘Light of My Life.’ It’s while writing that song that you find out that Jeonghan was never a stranger, and that day after the beach was not their first meeting. It’s Soonyoung who tells you how Jeonghan is from their hometown and how Seungcheol and Jeonghan used to date. 

The day that you record ‘Light of My Life’ Jeonghan is also in the studio, sitting in the control room and laughing at something with Hansol. 

You light up my life even when it’s dark. You both sing together. It’s an acoustic song; only Joshua stands behind you guys strumming the chords on his guitar. The rest of the band didn’t even come in today. You color my world even when I’m feeling blue. You glance over at Seungcheol. He isn’t looking your way. He’s looking at Jeonghan through the control room window. When I’m with you, I never feel alone. You think about the times when he used to look at you while recording. When you hold me, baby, I feel at home. Jeonghan looks back at Seungcheol. It hits you how beautiful he is, with his dyed silver hair and slender face. You don’t blame Seungcheol for writing such a beautiful song about him. You don’t blame yourself for helping him. I can’t believe this has happened to me. Seungcheol wrote this song for Jeonghan, but he wasn’t the only writer on this song. Right before the next line, Seungcheol finally finally turns and looks at you. I feel alive because of you. 

Seungcheol turns back to the control room, and for the rest of the song, you wonder that if Seungcheol wrote this song for Jeonghan, who the hell did you write this song for?

—

A tune comes to you while you drive home that night. You scribble down a couple lyrics in your notebook as soon as you walk through your door. 

Silver hair. Silver skin. Sliver of my heart you took with him. 

Joshua throws a party that weekend. A housewarming for the house he bought with the ‘Begin Again’ checks. Stepping in through the foyer, you question whether you should be buying a house too. You forget that thought by the time you reach the drinks table. 

After your hellos to the rest of the band and all the small talk with people Joshua wanted to introduce you to, you end up standing alone in his backyard, sloshing around the dark liquid in your cup. Truthfully, you’ve barely left your apartment all week. You hadn’t been in the mood for a party. But it’s nice out here. The air is fresh and crisp. The lights, which Soonyoung and Minghao enthusiastically and drunkenly told you they helped put up, are warm but not too bright. You imagine you’ll stay out here for the rest of the party. 

“Hi,” you hear a voice say from behind you. You turn around only to find Jeonghan. You hope your face doesn’t betray you when you greet him back. “What are you doing out here?” 

You gulp down a bitter sip of your drink. “Just wanted some quiet.” 

“Same. Junhui started doing karaoke again.” 

“Oof.” You groan sympathetically. “Already?” 

He just nods with a laugh. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen all of them.” 

You like Jeonghan. You really do. It’s just taken you until now to realize that you don’t really know him apart from small talk in the studio and the two songs Seungcheol wrote about him. “When did you move down here from your guys’ hometown?” 

“Oh.” His chin juts out a bit. “I moved down with the band actually.” 

You don’t hide the surprise on your face. 

“I take it no one told you that then.” Jeonghan chuckles darkly. You shake your head. “Uh, well, yeah,” he continues, shoving his free hand into his pocket, “Seungcheol and I started dating right when the band formed. I used to do the photography for them. And when they proposed moving out here, I thought I ought to come with. And I did.” He gulps his drink. “It was good for a while. Really fun in the beginning. But then I got my job taking pictures for the paper, and they were doing the album. And well,” he looks at you like you already know what he’s about to say. You don’t. “It already wasn’t really working anymore by the time the album was finished. And then they went on tour…” 

He leaves that part blank. But based on what you heard from Seungcheol about that first tour, you can piece together what might’ve happened. You question whether Jeonghan left that empty to spare Seungcheol or to spare himself. Then you question how he knew you knew about it. 

“Oh.” Is all you say. You don’t ask about when they encountered each other again. You don’t want to hear it. 

“You know,” Jeonghan begins again, “I actually used to watch you play at the Tabernacle.” 

You groan immediately. You only ever played at the Tabernacle when you first started. You cringe thinking about what you might’ve sang on stage in front of him. “Oh my god. I’m so embarrassed to even think about those days.” 

“No! Don’t be!” He reassures, kindly. “You were really good. I especially liked that one song that went like… The days were wide open, as far as the eye could see.” 

Your heart nearly soars straight out of your body. You had forgotten about this song. You used to love it dearly. You join Seungcheol’s boyfriend for the second line.

The world was mine to take, but I’ve never been good at accepting things. 

“You and the band together,” Jeonghan says a moment after you both stop singing, “it’s magical, don’t get me wrong, but that song,” he smiles at you, “it’s a damn good song.” 

You can’t help but smile back. “Thank you.” 

“Cheol showed me a couple of the songs from the album.” Jeonghan mentions, and it instantly and heartbreakingly reminds you who you’re talking to. You hate that he has a nickname for him. “They’re amazing.” You look at him. He seems genuine. “They’re so good and real and raw that it almost makes me wonder…” his voice tapers off, losing the sound to a small exhale that appears as if it was meant to be a laugh, “Nevermind.” 

“What?” You poke, instinctively leaning in towards him.

He meets your eyes, creases running along his forehead and frown lines more prominent than ever. “It almost makes me wonder if there was something between you both.” 

You swallow, pointing at your chest. Your voice comes out raspy without you meaning for it to. “Me and Seungcheol?” 

He nods. “Yeah, I mean the lyrics in ‘Begin Again’—“ 

“That song’s not about me. Or about him.” You defend. “We didn’t even know each other when we wrote that.” 

“What about ‘Can You See Me’?” 

Your breath catches. Truthfully, you answer, “I don’t know what that song’s about.” 

—

When you get home that night, you finish the song you started writing about Seungcheol and Jeonghan. 

When you breathe in his lips, do you think of mine? What kind of songs were we making? Were they all lies? 

“What’s it called?” The question comes from Soonyoung. 

You look up from the paper in your hands filled with the lyrics you had completed over the weekend and after Joshua’s party. You notice he looks sad. You turn your gaze to Minghao. You can’t really tell what he’s thinking in that moment. 

“Uhm–I don’t know. I haven’t thought of a title yet.”

Seungcheol walks in then. “What are you guys talking about?” He asks, setting down his stuff. Then, more to himself than to you guys, he murmurs, “And where are Junhui and Josh?”

Soonyoung and Minghao don’t say anything. Instead, when Seungcheol asks what you’re doing, they both look at you. You imagine even if Junhui and Joshua were here, they’d do the same. Have you really been this transparent? At what point did they put together all the pieces? 

You hand Seungcheol the song. You have no idea what his reaction will be. 

He just nods, like he has no idea what the song is about. Like he doesn’t see his name and Jeonghan’s scribbled in the margins. 

“Call it ‘Silver Lies’.” He says. 

Minghao makes a noise. “Call it ‘Silver Linings’.” 

“Vote on it?” Seungcheol proposes. 

“No.” You look at Minghao. He stares back at you. Something unspoken lies in the space between. “We’ll call it ‘Silver Linings’.”

A party rages around you. Flashing teeth and flashing lights. Another drink, another riff. You don’t even know where you are right now. You remember coming home after working on ‘Silver Linings’; you remember wanting to forget your own mind. This is the only way you know how.

You don’t even know how long it’s been. 

This is what you do know: You’re sitting by a pool. Your feet are wet. You haven’t been this drunk since your 18th birthday. Choi Seungcheol is standing across the pool from you. 

Your face breaks out in a smile. Sober you will regret that. Sober you will also regret how your first thought is that he looks beautiful. You’ll regret the fact that you finally, drunkenly but honestly, admit to yourself how pretty you think he is, how you’ve thought so since your first time hearing him sing, and how you’ve been so painfully aware of it ever since. 

You let yourself fall in the water. Head sinking for a moment, before breaking the surface again. Floating on your back, you start humming the melody to ‘Silver Linings’ in your head. 

Silver hair. Silver skin. Sliver of my heart you took with him. 

You can’t tell if it’s the chlorine or something more pathetic that burns the corner of your eyes and runs down the side of your cheeks. 

You feel something tug on your arm. The sudden jolt makes you lose your balance, falling beneath the water. You’re so fucking wasted you forget if you even know how to swim; you almost forget to not breathe. 

You feel a pair of arms pull you up and hold your head above the surface. You know who they belong to. It strikes you in the back of your mind that this is the first time you’ve been touched by him. So maybe that’s why you relish in the feel of his arms around your waist and the way his hand grips at your hip. 

He looks at you like you’re filth. Just as all your partners before him did. First they’re sweet and charming, but it always ends like this. In their arms, simultaneously wanting to be far away and fighting the urge to beg: love me, please. 

Even if he wasn’t your partner, even if all he was was a hope and a ‘what if’. 

You barely even register it when you say, “you're just like the rest of them.” 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He rages back, not even acknowledging what you said.

“Nothing.” You tell him, smiling, wishing like hell that you believed it. 

“You missed our studio time. We were supposed to record ‘Silver Linings’.” He fumes at you. “Do you know what time it is? Do you even know what day it is?”

“Do you know how much of a fucking mood kill you can be?” You bite back. 

“What are you on?” He looks repulsed. You hate it. Hate the way that you showed him your whole heart and that he still looks at you like this. 

Seething, you say, “What do you think?” 

And that—that is what breaks him. What makes him lose his shit and start screaming. 

“Jihoon is fuming at us!” 

You barely notice it. Instead, you repeat in your head the words to the one song you truly, wholeheartedly wrote for him. 

“The record label isn’t going to let this slide, you do realize that, don’t you?” 

When you breathe in his lips, do you think of mine? 

“You wasted an entire day of recording!”

What kind of songs were we making? 

“No.” You say finally, voice coming out quiet. It sounds so misplaced and so wrong next to all the yelling between you two. “We wasted so much more than that.” 

Were they all lies?

For the first time since you’ve seen him tonight, he doesn’t say anything back. He just stares at you, like he can see straight through. The party continues all around you. It never stopped. It never quieted down. And yet, it somehow feels like you and him are the only ones in this pool. Like you’re stuck in time. Like you’ve created your own world with him and that’s where you’ve retreated to now. 

“Was any of it real?” You ask before you can stop the words. You hate how pathetic you sound. You hate how desperate it all is. 

All he says before leaving you in the water alone is: “I’m with Jeonghan now.” 

He splashes water in your face on his way out. 

When Seungcheol walks into the studio, you’re already there, talking with Jihoon and someone else he doesn’t recognize. 

“Hello.” He says cautiously to the group.  

The man says hi back. You don’t look at him. Jihoon is the one that finally explains. 

“Seungcheol, hey, this is Wonwoo. He’s from the paper, The Stones, and he’s going to be doing a piece on the band and the creation of the album.  It’ll be an inside look into the process of making an album and a bit about the band itself.” 

“Hey, man,” Seungcheol greets properly, extending his hand to shake. Wonwoo fumbles with a place to set down the pen and notebook in his hand for a second, before shaking it. Seungcheol doesn’t miss the way you scoff under your breath. “Wonwoo, right?” The reporter nods. “Anything you want us to do for you or for the piece?”

“No. Not at all.” He shakes his head profusely. “Just keep working on the album as you would normally. I might pop in here and there with questions, but other than that, it’ll be like I’m not even here.”

Seungcheol smiles brightly. “Well, you’re in for a treat today because we have a song to record.”

For the first time that day and for the first time since that night in the pool, you look at him. “No, we don’t.” He wonders if you remember that night, what you said to him, what he said back. 

“Actually,” he reaches into his bag and pulls out a piece of paper he’s been working on for the past two days. He hands it to you. “We do.”

You read the lyrics silently for a moment, then frowning, you read them aloud. “I’m used to making games out of broken hearts. Silly me for trying to play around with yours.”

Wonwoo makes a noise. “Damn. I wonder who that’s about.”

You snap, whipping back around to Wonwoo. “What happened to ‘it’ll be like I’m not even here’?” 

He mutters an apology and quickly scribbles something down in his notebook. You turn back to Seungcheol. “I’m not singing that.”

He ignores you and looks at Jihoon. “Let me see the song.”

You extend the paper out to him without taking your eyes off of Seungcheol. In Jihoon’s defense, he’s been working the hardest to keep the peace as early as when you recorded ‘Being Again’ together. Nonetheless, your face still morphs from hurt to angry. Seungcheol doesn’t blame you, but he also doesn’t really give a fuck. 

Jihoon, sounding more exhausted than Seungcheol has ever heard him sound before, only sighs. “How about we just try the song?”

—

Recording first starts with the instrumentals. The rest of the band recording their parts exactly as Seungcheol heard it in his head. 

Finally, with the rest of it recorded, he focuses on vocals. 

He only wants you singing it. 

“Take one of...” Jihoon starts, speaking through the intercom. “What’s it called again?”

Seungcheol answers: “‘We Are Not Done.’”

You’re the only one in the recording stage. Seungcheol sits in the control room with Jihoon, Hansol, and Wonwoo. The rest of the band is either home, in the lobby, or behind him in the control room. Seungcheol’s already demonstrated for you the general beat of the lyrics against the instrumental. You still hold the lyrics up behind the mic, brows furrowed at them. 

“Pour me a drink I–for all…” Normally, you’re a picture of confidence in the recording studio, but your first attempt to sing the song is an absolute train wreck. 

Seungcheol reaches over Jihoon’s shoulder and presses the red button. “Cut. What’s going on?”

You look through the window, exasperated. “I don’t get it. The words, they just–”

“It’s–Pour me a drink for all the fools made out of me.” Seungcheol demonstrates again. “I can’t live with myself half past 12–and it’s just like that for this whole verse.” He waits a moment. “Good?”

You stare at the lyrics, brows still scrunched together. “Yea.” 

“Okay. Take two.”

You sing: “Pour me a drink for all the fools made out of me.” Your voice is timid, almost. Seungcheol’s never heard you sound or act anything close to timid before. “I can’t live with myself half past 12.”

“Cut.” Seungcheol stops you again. “You have to sound larger than life singing, like you don’t care if people see how fucked up you are.”

“Excuse me?” You nearly scream at him.

“I’m talking about the song.”

Jihoon shakes his head. “Take 3.”

You look mad now. At least that will be closer to what Seungcheol wants. “Pour me a drink for all the fools made out of me.”

“Cut.” Seungcheol can see you biting your tongue. “Sing it looser. Less restrained. Don’t worry about hitting the notes. Take 4.”

“Pour me a drink for all the fools–”

“Cut.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Even looser. Take 5.”

“Pour me a drink f–”

“Cut. Let your voice get ‘ugly’. Take 6.”

“Pour me–”

“Cut!”

— 

(Wonwoo’s interview with Seungcheol)

Wonwoo: So, Seungcheol, I remember there being an impossible number of takes for the track ‘We Are Not Done’, specifically for the vocals. In the end, How’d you get them to sing like… that?

Seungcheol: Sometimes all it takes is a little push

—

(Wonwoo’s interview with you)

Wonwoo: ‘We Are Not Done’ is such a force of nature. How’d you end up singing it like that?”

You: Well, let’s just say that Seungcheol is really good at what he does.

Wonwoo: And what does he do?

You: He inspires. 

—

The red light flashes again. “Take 32.”

The only thought you have when the blue recording light turns back on is that you fucking hate Choi Seungcheol, but you still want him and you hate that he knows that. 

The track starts. 

Pour me a drink for all the fools made out of me. I can’t live with myself half past 12. I’m used to making games out of broken hearts.  Silly me for trying to play around with yours. I know you’re with someone new, But is that really true  If you’re still thinking of my kiss and my tongue?  I’m your wildest dream. I’m your best nightmare. You and me, baby, we are not done. 

You’re beyond pissed driving home from the studio that day. 

The first fucking day with the reporter and Seungcheol chose to make you look like an idiot. He chose to make you sing that song with Wonwoo sitting behind, taking it all in. 

Not to mention that that was the first time you’ve seen him since he showed up at the party while you were trying to get over him the only way you know how. When he held you in his arms, made you feel so stupidly warm, and then left with someone else’s name on his lips. 

You hate Seungcheol. Maybe joining the band wasn’t worth it. Wasn’t worth him. 

Your vision goes red and all you can think is: isn’t he over this yet? Aren’t I?

Suddenly, there’s a bang. A puff of smoke. The airbag releases. Your entire body clenches, lurching forward and then back again harshly. 

A crash, you register belatedly, staring at the hood of your car folded up like a piece of paper. 

Paper. 

You dig inside your glove box for your notebook and shove your hand in the space between the passenger seat and the center console to find a pen. 

“What the fuck?” The man from the car you hit screams, stepping out of his car.

You ignore it. A song, you had it just then. You had it.

“You hit me!” He yells again, getting closer.

Your pen hits the paper, and it doesn’t stop until the song is on it. Not even when you notice blood drip. Not even when the man starts banging on your window.

Is it over now? Do you have the guts? To call it quits, baby, Say I’ve had enough. Is it over now? Can we say the words? I used to love you, Now I’m not sure. 

(Wonwoo’s interview with you)

Wonwoo: What’s it been like working with the band? From ‘Begin Again’ to now?”

You: Oh, well, ‘Begin Again’ was a totally different story. I wasn’t really part of the group or anything. I was more just an outsider that Jihoon and the label had brought in. I changed up most of the lyrics, but the song was never really mine. I think it’s taken me a while to realize that. But, now, I mean, working on the album together couldn’t be more different. Seungcheol and I co-write almost all of the songs. It’s been a much more collaborative project compared to ‘Begin Again’. It’s been exhausting and tiring and life-consuming, but um, it’s been a lot of fun.

Wonwoo: So, going back a bit, if you rewrote all of the lyrics to ‘Begin Again’, how is it not your song?

You: Seungcheol already had some lyrics written for that song. I was just the one to figure out what he was really trying to say with them. 

Wonwoo: Hm

Wonwoo: So what’s it been like working with Seungcheol? 

You: Well, it definitely wasn’t easy at first.

Wonwoo: Why not?

You: I think we were both just used to writing alone. We learned a lot in those first couple writing sessions, and I think we’ve both grown a lot since then. 

Wonwoo: What’d you learn?

You: We’re very similar people. We think about love very similarly. We have fought the same battles, and we’re both able to turn our pain and struggling into something beautiful. 

Wonwoo: How would you describe you and Seungcheol’s personal relationship?

You: What do you mean?

Wonwoo: Friends, lovers, enemies, etc.

You: We have chemistry, but

You:

You: But I think that to write together there has to be love. What else would all the songs be about?

Wonwoo: Is that what ‘Can You See Me’ is about? Love?

You: That’s for each listener to figure out for themselves.

Wonwoo: You also said that you co-wrote most of the songs with Seungcheol.

You: Yes.

Wonwoo: So, did you guys co-write ‘We Are Not Done’ and ‘Is It Over Now?’?

You: 

Wonwoo: No need to go into details if you’re not comfortable. I’m only really looking for a yes or a no. 

You: It–

You: It’s not as simple as a yes or a no.

—

(Wonwoo’s interview with Seungcheol)

Wonwoo: What’s it been like working with someone else for the song writing on this album?

Seungcheol: It’s been hard. There’s a lot of push and pull for each word in each song, but I think at the end of the day, we’ve been able to put together an almost complete record of songs that we’re both proud of.

Wonwoo: It’s been said that the two of you have chemistry–

Seungcheol: Who said that?

Wonwoo: –do you agree with that?

Seungcheol:

Seungcheol: It’s not what you think.

Wonwoo:

Seungcheol: Look, whatever chemistry people think there is between us, I mean, it–it’s for the music and for the songs, not for each other. 

Wonwoo: Are you saying it’s all fake? 

Seungcheol: No, but it’s not real life either. 

Wonwoo: So you guys fabricated some of it to sell records?

Seungcheol: I just don’t want people to get the wrong idea. 

Wonwoo: Which is what?

Seungcheol: That there’s something between us romantically. There isn’t. 

Wonwoo: Not even a little bit?

Seungcheol: Not even once.

The photo shoot for the album they decided should be in the desert. You’re not really sure why. Probably something to do with the desert show where you and the band first played together. You didn’t have a choice in the matter. If you did, you would have suggested the opposite. Maybe something on the shore. Nonetheless, you let them tell you where to sit and exactly how to do it.

The photographers look between each other after each flash of light in your face. Thank god they aren’t actors. You can read on their faces how much they hate each photo taken. 

“You know what,” the head photographer says to the band, “let’s just take 5.”

You’re up immediately, walking away from the weird set they’ve put together and heading straight to the snack table. You say hi to Jeonghan standing there with a camera around his neck. 

“Did the paper send you or did you come with Seungcheol?” You ask lightheartedly, picking at some grapes.

He laughs, fiddling with the lens. “No, not the paper. I just like to bring my camera with me sometimes. Plus,” he adds with a far off smile, looking up the hill at Joshua, Junhui, and Minghao talking, “reminds me of the old days.”

You look up past those three to where Soonyoung and Seungcheol are laughing at something you wish you were privy to. “I get that.” 

“Actually, Seungcheol and I wanted to talk to you.” He says. His lips look pressed, eyes bright, fighting a smile but also fighting something else far beneath that. “Once the album wraps, we’re, uh, we’re gonna get married.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, I know. It was his idea, but I’m really excited about it too.” He tells you, abashedly. “We’re gonna keep it small, I think. Do it back in our hometown so that our families can be there and everything. I think most of the band is gonna travel back too to be there, and, uh, I know it would mean a lot to both of us if you were there too.” 

You look at Jeonghan. You don’t really think he’s lying about the last part, but that still doesn’t make it any easier for you to swallow. “I don’t really know if that’s a good idea.”

“I do.” Jeonghan doesn’t falter. It reminds you of you before Seungcheol. You wonder where that version of you went. After a moment, his face softens, lips turning down a bit, but eyes looking as kind and as big as ever. You notice that his hair isn’t silver anymore. 

“I know that it’s complicated between you and Seungcheol. And I’m not going to act like I get it because I don’t. But I like you and I know he loves you. If not for anything, then for this.” Jeonghan gestures to the shitty set they prepared. You look at it, chuckling. It’s shitty, yes. But Jeonghan’s right. This must’ve cost the label a fuck ton of money. “He and the band wouldn’t have any of this if not for you. You did that for them.” 

You turn back to Jeonghan. Genuinely, you tell him, “Thank you.”

You open your arms to him. He welcomes it, hugging you back. You exhale. You can barely remember the last time you did. 

“Congratulations, Jeonghan.” You feel him grin. 

“Please come.” He requests. 

You don’t know if you will. But you do know that you’re happy for him. 

—

The next round of photos are no better than the last. You hope at least Jeonghan, who’s moved on to taking pictures of the scenery, is having a better shoot day than the label-hired photographers. 

You find Seungcheol again during the next break, standing in the back at the top most part of the hill, sun shining down directly behind his head.

“Hey.” He says to you, not casually but not maliciously either.

You stop in front of him, just staring. Without you even meaning to, you frown. Seungcheol must notice. He tilts his head. “What’s up?”

You inhale sharply. “You’re getting married.”

His mouth opens, then closes. “I’m getting married.”

You shake your head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I-it never..” He stops trying to find the words. You find that as more of an answer than anything he could’ve said. “I’m sorry.”

“Take me home.” You recite, thinking of the first window you ever had into Seungcheol’s heart. “Welcome me on those familiar roads. Embrace me in your arms. Oh please, tell me I still belong. It was always about him, wasn’t it?”

Seungcheol doesn’t say anything. You know him too well to think he would. Instead, he sucks in his bottom lip and turns his gaze to the ground. You bend your neck to see his face, see his red eyes. This is the only time you’ll have him like this again. This is it.

The only thing you have left to say to him is: “I hope you’re happy.”

—

When you go home that night, you drink yourself past consciousness. It’s only when you wake up with a pounding head the next morning do you see the song sitting next to you, written in sloppy, drunken handwriting. 

Tell me was it worth all the pain Tell me would you do it over again Tell me was it worth the lights and your name Tell me was it worth the sound of my shame Tell me was it worth the album and the songs That I only sang thinking they were about us Tell me some it was true, not in my head Did we only kiss to sound how you wanted?

I know I’m not yours But let me your wildest dream You think of again On a bad night After a bad fight

(Wonwoo’s interview with you)

Wonwoo: Who wrote the last song on the album: ‘Not Yours’?

You: I did.

Wonwoo: When?

You: Right after the album cover shoot. 

Wonwoo: What inspired it?

You: Well

You: I think that song had been singing in my heart for a while before I finally wrote it. 

—

(Wonwoo’s interview with Seungcheol)

Wonwoo: ‘Not Yours’ is such a heart-breaking song. What was it like recording it?

Seungcheol: Believe it or not, it was one of the easiest. 

(Wonwoo’s interview with Jeonghan)

Wonwoo: It’s nice to finally meet you.

Jeonghan: You too. If I can be honest, I really didn’t expect to be called about this piece.

Wonwoo: Oh

Wonwoo: I just like to get all sides of it. 

Jeonghan: Okay.

Wonwoo: I wanted to talk to you about the album photo shoot. 

Jeonghan: Oh yeah of course.

Wonwoo: From my understanding, the picture that was chosen as the cover, was one that you took. Is that correct?

Jeonghan: Yeah. I took it during one of the breaks. 

Jeonghan: I mean props to the photography team that was hired, I’m sure they’re amazing, but it wasn’t hard to tell that they were really struggling to photograph the band. 

Jeonghan: I just happened to have my camera on me, and you know, I had photographed the band in the past, so I just kind of knew what to look for. And when I saw Seungcheol and them go off to the side to talk, my eyes just happened to follow them. And

Jeonghan: Well, I don’t know what they were talking about, but you can see it in the photo, you know? 

Jeonghan: They’re looking at each other like it’s a very important conversion. And well, let’s just say that I know Seungcheol very well, and he’s never been a good actor, so it must have been. And, and the sky is so blue and so clear behind them which, I don’t know, to me sort of represents how there’s nothing coming between them in this moment either. There’s nothing that isn’t being said.

Jeonghan: 

Jeonghan: When I saw that, I just knew I had to capture it.

Jeonghan:

Jeonghan: I had no idea that Jihoon would want to use it for the album cover. I wasn’t thinking like that. 

Wonwoo: Was it weird at all?

Jeonghan: How so?

Wonwoo: To capture a picture of your finance and his bandmate looking at each other like that?

(Wonwoo’s interview with Jihoon)

Wonwoo: So does the album have a name?

Jihoon: Yeah. Of course.

Jihoon: Aurora

Wonwoo: Can you tell me anything about the band maybe going on tour?

Jihoon: Well, can’t say anything for sure yet, but there’s definitely been some talk from the label about it.

Wonwoo: If there were to be a tour, are you able to give us a sneak peek as to what it’ll be like?

Jihoon: Hmm

Jihoon: Did you happen to see the band play the festival in the desert?

Wonwoo: No, I did not.

Jihoon: Well, I’ll tell you what anyone who saw that show would say.

Wonwoo: Which is?

Jihoon: Get ready for the best fucking show of your life. 

(Wonwoo’s interview with you)

Wonwoo: I heard most of the band is heading back to their hometown for the break. 

You: Yeah, they are.

Wonwoo: Do you plan on joining them?

You: No.

You: I don’t think I will.

Wonwoo: What do you plan to do during your time off?

You: Well, I bought a one way ticket to Italy, so that should start something. Maybe I’ll go to Nepal or Japan or Brazil after that. I haven’t really decided yet. 

Wonwoo: So, traveling.

You: Yeah, I guess. 

You: Can you believe that the festival show we did is the farthest I’ve ever been from home?

You: It’s time I saw a little more of the world.

Wonwoo: The fans are really looking forward to a tour. Can you speak to when you will be coming back?

You:

You: Who’s to say I will?

[daisymbin]

do you hate me? (no, i don't, princess.) - choi seungcheol

warnings: mentions of alcohol (slightly intoxicated reader)

pairings: choi seungcheol x afab reader

genre: best friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst

a/n: i know i did best friends to lovers for wonwoo already but this has been sitting in my drafts for quite awhile and also, tbh this is probably one of my fav tropes hahaha enjoy!

check out my masterlist! // cheol's m.list

seungcheol's pov

''cheol-ah...do you hate me?''

''no, my love, i dont.'' i watch as a small smile flashes across her flushed cheeks. im not sure why i even responded to her at all seeing how drunk she was. she probably wont remember any of this in the morning when she wakes up anyway.

''who the hell gave her this much to drink? you guys know she can't hold her liquor well! you should have stopped her!'' i was honestly no where near as upset as i sounded. while a part of me is slightly upset, im also rather glad and relieved. glad that i can be here to take care of her and relieved because...its me who gets the privilege of taking care of her.

''im sorry hyung, i didnt expect her to drink so much and so quickly as well. soonyoung hyung and i were just getting dinner after work together but we ran into her so we went together. i swear i tried stopping her but im no match for the two of them! i couldnt even stop soonyoung hyung.'' dino said with a pout. ''i wanted to send her back home but she kept insisting that she wont leave with anyone else but you. i dont think she even recognises me right now. she kept calling me a stranger and said if i dont stop pestering her, her best friend would come fight me... i didnt have a choice hyung...'' dino looks almost terrified and its funny. i was trying so hard to fight a smile from coming out.

dino thought that i was mad at him for calling me out this late at night on my day off but truth be told, if this is what you call a disturbance then this would be the best kind. i love her. not that i would ever admit that to anyone. although, i don't think i need to. i know that the boys can tell. ''oh hyung...you're here?'' soonyoung finally spoke out. i shook my head in slight disapproval as i watch soonyoung slouch on the chair, almost losing his balance and falling over. ''chan-ah, i think you should bring soonyoung home. he's wasted.''

''i will hyung. im sorry again for calling you but you're her best friend afterall and she was asking for you.'' yeah, best friend indeed.

i watched as dino hauled soonyoung towards an incoming cab before i finally sat down beside her. ''how are you feeling?'' i asked as i gently helped her get up to walk towards my car that was parked just by the side of the road. ''just a little dizzy and fuzzy.'' i chuckled at that. fuzzy? cute.

i opened the door to the passenger seat and helped her in. i buckled her seatbelt for her and stepped back. ''where are you going?'' she looked at me with a slight sadness to it. i chuckled as i gently patted the side of her head. ''to the driver's seat, princess. we've gotta get you home somehow, dont we?'' she smiles at my response and i finally manage to close her side of the door.

''cheol-ah, can you hold my hand? it feels empty..'' her hand comes up to where mine is and held it in place before i could even answer. i could feel my heart beating so loud. how does she do it with such ease? i wonder if she knows how nervous she makes me feel. ''cheol-ah, do you hate me?'' she asked as she tried to keep her eyes open. probably fighting sleep. ''no, i dont, princess. i thought i already told you that just now.'' i said with a smile.

''i just wanted to make sure.'' she said as she let out a deep breath.

''why would i hate you?'' and this time, she closes her eyes. ''i just feel like...if you knew how i really felt about you, you would hate me.''

''i could never hate you no matter what, and besides, you know you can tell me anything, right? i'll always be by your side.'' i tried to reassure her.

''you can't say that when you dont know anything.''

''tell me then.''

''i can't cheol.''

''why not? i thought we promised each other not to keep any secrets between us?'' i immediately bit my tongue as soon as i said that; knowing full well that im keeping my biggest secret from her as well.

''but if i tell you....can you promise me not to get mad?''

''i promise.''

''theres someone i like...no no..theres someone im in love with for the past 2 years but i dont think he feels the same way..i thought it was just a stupid crush at first and that it would go away but it never did and my crush only grew bigger...i thought i would be able to handle it and pretend like it doesnt affect me but it does and i cant take it anymore.''

and there it was. that churning feeling in the pit of my stomach. my hands start to get clammy and my throat starts to feel dry. ''for 2 years?'' i start to think back to when that time period was. was it 2022? i had already been in love with her for 2 years by 2022. was i a fool to not have noticed that she had her eyes on someone else while i had mine on her?

''yeah..2 years..isnt that so pathetic?'' pathetic? i've been in love with you for 4 years..who is the pathetic one here? but instead i said ''no, its not. i've been worse.'' i am worse. i let out a deep sigh as i felt my heart slowly breaking. i felt like my heart was hard candy and a kid is just throwing me onto the ground and stomping on my heart with no regards whatsoever other than to smash this piece of candy into broken bits for the fun of it.

''come on. we're here.'' i parked the car and got out of the driver's seat and walked over to open the door of the passenger seat. ''cheol-ah...can you carry me in? my legs are not working.'' i wanted to say: of course, princess. anything for you. but i held my tongue. without saying a word, i lifted her up and closed the car door.

i punched in the code to the door, kicked my shoes off and carried her straight to her bedroom. i laid her down gently on her bed before kneeling down beside her to take her shoes off. i walked towards the bathroom to look for some cotton pads and make up remover as i returned to her bed, to her. ''come on my love, let's get your make up cleaned off hmm? otherwise you'll have a fit tomorrow about sleeping with your make up on.'' i smiled as i recalled that one time she slept in with her make up on and had the biggest fit in the morning about forgetting to take them off, screaming about how her skin will become worse and she'll turn even uglier, but she could never. it was just not possible. she is beautiful, always have been and always will be regardless of anything.

''no one takes care of me the way you do.'' she said softly against my ear as i helped her sit up to wipe her face clean. ''yet, you're still in love with some guy who i don't even know for 2 years!'' i tried to mask my sadness with some fake laughter. i hope she can't tell.

''i can't tell you...i can't tell anyone.''

''why not? is it that bad? plase don't tell me its soonyoung.''

''what? soonie? don't be crazy, he's like a brother to me.''

''then who is it?''

''mhm..can't say...''

i sighed and said ''lets get you to bed now. you're tired.'' as i get up to head to the bathroom, i felt her tug the sleeve of my jacket. forcing me to look back at her.

''can you stay here with me tonight? sleep with me.'' how could i ever say no to her? i would be the biggest idiot if i ever did. i always want to be close to her.

i let out a breath as i took my jacket off and throwing it on her work chair. ''come here, princess.'' i mindlessly held my hand out to her as i laid in bed with her. she rolled over clumsily to my side, putting her head on my chest. i wonder if she can hear the sound of my heartbeat picking up as strongly as i can feel it beating against my chest.

she took a deep inhale before she said ''you smell so good cheol, you always do.'' i smiled lightly as i pulled her in closer and tigher. nothing ever feels more right than when i have her in my arms.

''goodnight princess, sleep tight.''

''i love you.'' she said, almost too casually for my liking. telling each other we love each other isn't anything new, but how can she possibly say that to me after telling me she's been in love with someone else for the past 2 years? my heart broke again at the remembrance of that.

''goodnight, princess.'' i couldn't tell her i love her back, not when we don't love each other the same way. not when she doesn't love me the same way.

''why don't you say it back?'' she sounded hurt and it made me regret not saying it back...i never want to hurt her.

''do you hate me?'' she asked again.

''no i don't, princess. i love you.'' i said as i felt my heart sink little by little.

i carelessly start stroking her hair, hoping to put her to sleep soon. ''i love you.'' i said again.

when will i ever get the chance to tell her i love her again without having to hide my romantic feelings for her? when will i ever get to tell her i love her again without having to worry if she's finally figured me out? its so much easier to do it in the dark like this..where she can't see me, where i can hide. where i can love her proudly and openly without being afraid.

''i'm in love with you'' she said as she snuggled closer.

''let's sleep now its- wait what?'''

this time, its her turn to sigh. ''i said im in love with you, choi seungcheol.''

''you're drunk.''

''maybe..but i'm still in love with you. it doesn't change anything.''

i look down at her on my chest, but she was already looking at me. ''don't joke with me like that, princess. you know i don't take jokes well.''

''but i'm not.''

''you're not thinking clearly, princess. we've been best friends for forever, there's no way you're suddenly in love with me.''

''but its not sudden.''

i averted my eyes away from her to look back at the ceiling. i cant even look at her now. not when she's looking at me like that. not when she's looking at me like she means it, because i know it can't be.

''don't you have that guy you say you're in love with for 2 years? how would he feel if he found out that you're suddenly in love with me? how can you say it so casually? did u ever think about how i would feel? you can't just-'' and there it was. i felt my whole world stop, i felt it freeze. am i the one thats intoxicated tonight? what is happening because it can't be. that can't be her lips on mine.

she took advantage of my lips being slightly open from shock to slip her tongue in mine. and i let her. the same way she lets me run my hand through her hair, the same way she lets me kiss her back, and the same way she lets me pull her in closer by her neck to deepen the kiss.

''you're so noisy cheol.'' were not the words i expected to come out of her mouth after that kiss. ''what do you-''

''can i love you cheol? can i love you like that? can i be in love with you?''

i wanted so badly to screamYES but nothing comes out no matter how i try. i was dumbfounded. instead, all i did was let out a shakey breath.

''cheol...why are you not saying anything? are you....are you mad at me? i'm sorry i didn't mean to, i don't know what came over me im so-'' i felt her slowly removing her hands from my waist and letting go of my hand. ''no no no god im not upset i'm just.. i don't know what to say i don't know how to respond i just...'' i sighed at myself as reach out to hold her hand again.

''i'm in love with you too, i have for as long as i can remember.''

''really?''

''yes, really, princess.''

and it goes silent for awhile before i finally picked up the courage to ask ''did you..did you mean me? i mean...the guy that you were in love with. is it..is it me? because i understand if its not me and if this was a mistake-''

''yes, dummy. its you.'' this time i get to see her shy smile.

''oh...i see...cool.'' oh. oh? OH. it's me. i'm yet again rendered speechless. can i be blamed if the girl i've been in love with for the past 4 years suddenly kissed me and told me she loves me? that she's in love with me. she loves me. what am i to do or say when this all feels so surreal?

''so.....'' she starts out.

''so..?''

''do you hate me?''

''no, i don't, princess. i told you, i love you. i'm in love with you.''

i finally let myself break into a smile. it'll be over my dead body if i ever let her feel like i don't love her.

''really?''

''yes, princess, really. although, you might forget all this when you wake up tomorrow.''

''no, i won't. i'll tell you i love you again in the morning.''

''now, how about we go to bed and talk about this tomorrow over breakfast? i'll make you blueberry pancakes.'' i said as i stroked her cheek with my thumb. i pray she won't forget.

''i'd love that. goodnight cheol.''

''goodnight, princess.'' i waited a beat before i added ''i love you.'' but this time, i don't get a response. this time, i hear a light snore from her instead as i smile to myself. but for once, its okay if she doesn't tell me she loves me back because she fell asleep again. for once, my heart is not aching over questioning what her i love yous mean because for once, i know i won't have to tell her i love her just to hear her say she loves me too, because i know she will tell me that herself in the morning when she wakes up.

for once, i finally know what she truly means when she tells me she loves me. and for once, she knows what i truly mean when i tell her i love her.

[hamilando]

ੈ✩‧₊ Paint an immortal love ੈ✩‧₊

Paring : Xu Minghao x Male reader

Word Count : 0.8k

Song : Strawberries and Cigarettes by Troye Sivan

Genre : Immortal au, angst to fluff

TW: Implied homophobia, death

A/n: This was requested, I got the inspiration to write this after such a long time!!! Feedback is much appreciated! Questions and requests are always open !

It was a losing game but he still chose to play.

Immortals falling in love with mortal was not forbidden, but looked down upon. It was considered to be crumbling a dried rose. A rose which once smelt of warmth, reduced to pieces of angst. Y/N and Minghao promised to stay together, yet they both knew it was promise which couldn't be kept. Those sneaky escapades of Minghao and Y/N had to be said goodbye, yet one wouldn't remember and one could never forget.

Minghao was an immortal who would just roam around the streets of the mortal world. The mortal art decepting how the they perceived the world, be it with a field of dandelions or a court full of thorns. The museums he visited displayed a pulchritudinous array of art, portraying god and mortal emotions.

It was one of those lonely nights, when the museum did not have much rush, the gale could be heard, a sign of the winters approaching.

Minghao was staring at the painting, the painting decepting two souls with intertwined hands, it was rumoured that the painter had painted it for him and his lover, homosexual relationships being a sin in the society. Minghao never understood the reason about being in love considered to be a sin.

"It's pretty, isn't it?"

Minghao looked back to see a guy staring at the picture as well, a small smile resting on his face.

"Indeed it is."

"If only the painter was a female, falling in love with him wouldn't be a crime."

The two of them stood in silence, the silence speaking way more than words could ever speak.

Minghao glanced at the guy next to him, features no less than a angel.

Brown hair which matched his caramel eyes, small lips with a settling smile, a rouge tint to his cheeks, probably due to weather.

"I wish I could relive this painting."

Minghao looked at the guy, confusion written all over his face. The guy seemed to understand that and gave a light chuckle.

"Experience the love of an artist, become someone's muse. Get my love immoratalized for this world. Let the world know what love can be."

"This painting depicts a relationship between two men, would you want that as well?"

"If love can cross borders, it can cross languages, why can't it cross genders?" The guy turned his full attention to Minghao, replying with a slight spark in his eyes, waiting for his response.

"Not all borders are meant to be crossed, exepcially when the other side has thorns."

"If no one crosses border with the fear of thorns, the path will never clear. Someone needs to cross the border and remove the thorns."

Minghao just smiled, never meeting a mortal with such solitary thoughts. He lent out his hand, a friendly gesture he hoped the guy would reciprocate.

"Minghao"

The guy gladly shook hands, flashing a bright smile," Y/N"

The hands which shook, created a bond which could only be broken by time. The two young men, ignorant of others around them, fell in love with each other deeply everyday. Be it reading the newspaper together, snuggled together in the bed, the noises of the coach in the background or their late night escapes in the pub, a beer in hand, flushed cheeks and eyes full of love.

Minghao was hesitant to start this relationship, knowing he will live on with just memories, but for Y/N, he was ready to give the happy memories and carry on with the bitter memory of losing the loved one.

Relationships are built on trust, yet Minghao could never have the courage to tell him that he was an immortal, that he would indeed keep the promise of loving him forever.

Yet as the leaves turn brown, the sky turns grey, the lover's blood lost the warmth, lost the red tint. Y/N passed away young, a death not deserved, a death placed upon him for fighting for his love, shot at a rally for letting men love men, for letting the seven colours fly, only for him fly away as white dove.

The color of Minghao's life left, the monotonous routine taking over. A whole lifetime at his disposal, yet he longs to be with angel. Years passed, yet that smile could never fade away from his mind. Minghao lived on, visiting the museum every fortnight. Staring at the painting which made his lover immortal.

The night was nothing special, the museum being empty at night, Minghal standing carelessly in front of the painting, remembering his lover when his trance was broken by an another guy, voicing his thoughts.

"It's beautiful isn't it? Only for their love to be forbidden."

Minghao snapped his neck back to see a guy, black hair, pale lips, different from his lover, yet the same glint in the eyes which he could identify in thousand other eyes, those eyes which made him smile like never before. The eyes which made him love, which made him realise the importance of a heartbeat, those eyes which stood before him

again, life giving him a chance again, a smile creeping on his face in years.

"Till death do us apart, yet the same eyes, the same I love you stands before me."

[wasteitonserendipity]

The Best Years: Day 5

Pairing: Mingyu x female reader

Genre: more fluff , Gyu being a Marvel nerd, slight crack

Warnings: none

“You can’t possibly be serious?!” Mingyu gasped on the other end of the Facetime call, absolutely disgusted and astounded.

In the few days you'd known him this had now become a thing. You'd face time a night while you either worked on chores or made food for dinner and more or less argue about your interests.

Tonight was Marvel vs. DC...

“Listen,” you tried to reason as you folded your laundry, “inconsistency and lack of budget aside, you can’t tell me that DC doesn’t have slightly better storylines.”

“I can say with one hundred percent certainty that that is not true,” he argued, “the only decent storyline within the movie universe was The Dark Knight Series… and that is IT!”

“Okay, I think we need to agree to disagree on this subject,” you laughed, shaking your head at how serious his face was on the screen.

“Next you’re going to tell me that Mint Chocolate ice cream is a valid choice,” he sighed, continuing to type away at his computer.

“Well…” you trailed off, making a face because you knew what was coming next.

“YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY JOKING RIGHT NOW!!!”

<<previous masterlist next>>

[tastyykpop]

smexy morning time with svt hhu?

sᴠᴛ ʜɪᴘ ʜᴏᴘ ᴜɴɪᴛ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ sᴇx

Warning: smut duh

Seungcheol

Seungcheol would be watching you sleep so peacefully but for some reason, the way your figure is perfectly laid about makes him feel a type of way

Without even thinking hes literally already feeling you up

Basically,

He doesn't care if you wake up while he's grabbing your ass

But if your still asleep then he'll quietly swear to himself because you look fuckable right now

Though once you do wake up he'd pounce on you before you let out a yawn or even say good morning

You're still half asleep and your dumb self was thinking he was being sweet with all the neck kisses until you felt his boner

Its not like you were complaining

And seungcheol was more rough in the morning

His morning voice was just perfect too

There wasnt even a chance to blink when you realized both his and your pants were off

Hes too lazy in the mornings to take your shirts off so you just vibe the way you are

And once ready

He'll push into you

Seungcheol has a really steady pace

Sometimes it turns into a quicker, more aggressive fuck if hes really in the mood

But for now he was calm and savoring your sweet sounds

In the morning theres barely any talking unless he's muttering something dirty to you

Which he does all the time

In the bedroom or not

Hed say things like "Youre so pretty for me." "You take my cock so well"

And your brain is like "daddy"

i need to take a walk

Wonwoo

This bitch is lazyyyy

Like he doesn't want to be the top right now

He just lets you ride him

The most he'll do is thrust up into you here and there

Wonwoos hands would be lazily resting on your hips to keep you in an up and down rhythm

For some reason there's always eye contact

Like no matter how tired he is, he'll literally make you look at him

He just likes watching your face and knowing he's doing well

Even without you telling him how good it is

Contrast to seungcheol, hes surprisingly talkative in the morning

And casual too

So like you'll be trying to get each other off and hes like "so we got our first win the other day"

But thats kind of what you like about morning sex with him because although you both wanna cum and are literally moaning into his chest

You're being casual with it

If that makes sense

It doesn't but whatever

Mingyu

I dont know why

But I have this burning feeling that hes not soft with it

Like even though it's early morning, hes horny and wants what he wants

Kinda like seungcheol in a way

So be prepared for ripped clothing and him manhandling you

And hes not even trying to be rough or mean by doing so

Hes just in the moment and full of lust

Every kiss is hard too

Your teeth are clashing and hes feeling your body up

Biting your lip here and there, not realizing hes drawing the smallest amount of blood until he tastes it

Which reminds me

His mouth!!!

That man literally eats you out like a starved man

And its just perfect

Mingyu goes to town, keeping your hips down and licking you up

His strong hands keeping your legs open even though they want to close from pleasure

Its so early for you that as he's enjoying himself between your legs, you're falling asleep

But mingyu finds different ways to keep you awake

Shocking you at one point by slamming his hips into you without warning

It keeps you awake for so long before you're literally fucked back to sleep

Vernon

Not to be a hoe

But like

Soft Vernon >:(

Hes super soft

Almost like he's gonna break you

But hes also still waking up a bit so he's going to be gentle

Literally the cutest too

Its very casual and vanilla

He'll make sure that whatever he's doing is okay with you

Even if you're the one who woke him up

Vernon will treat you right

There will be light kisses all over your face and small giggles

He'll hold your face in his hand once he actually kisses your lips

Slowly, you both start to take your clothes off but your still kind of shy with each other

Not to worry because Vernon's a good boy :)

Before he starts hes going to ask again if you're ready and okay

Of course you say yes

Who wouldn't

He pushes in slowly and you're both moaning

Vernon's slow at first but once he starts waking up more he gets a more steady and fast pace but its still a bit slow in a way

You'll be wrapping your legs around his waist and holding on to his forearms while he's working at your clit with one hand and feeling you up with the other

Once you both cum, you're too lazy to even clean up

So Vernon just wraps you up in his arms and waits for you to fall asleep first then he does the same

[jalwoorideul]

Have Fun

synopsis: How Heaven and Hoshi met

year: 2015

a/n: i was looking for a blonde saerom picture (because this was during ice cream cake era) but then i realized that saerom has never been fully blonde so let's just pretend that she has blonde hair in this gif for visual reference ><

-----

It felt like Hoshi ran a marathon over how fast his heart was beating at the moment. Today was his first ever music show and as much as he tells himself it's going to be alright, the thought of being at your debut broadcast stage is still nerve-wracking.

"Seventeen you're up next" The producer told the rookie group to prepare since the previous stage will soon end.

They were standing at the side, waiting to go up, along with other crew members and staff. Amongst the number of people that were already there to witness his group's debut backstage was a light blonde girl with delicate features getting her microphone and make-up fixed.

"It's Heaven sunbaenim" Soonyoung heard his groupmate Seokmin — who goes by the stage name DK and was standing beside him — whisper.

He had known her, of course. Member of SM Entertainment's newest girl group, Red Velvet, singer of the hit song Ice Cream Cake (which was undeniably a hit at the moment), amazing performer and singer, really pretty. And yes, he was a fan, so seeing her awestruck him.

She was a special MC for the day. The boys have been watched her on screen all day doing her job and now they're finally seeing her up close.

Heaven, or Haneul by her real name, must have noticed a pair of eyes looking at her. She was proven right when she turned her head to the side to notice a boy with hamster-like features with his eyes on her. The said boy's eyes grew wide when she smiled at him and bowed his head.

New group? She thought to herself. It was pretty evident that they were a bit nervous, and she couldn't blame them for it. Wow, they have a lot of members.

"Hey, do you know who they are?" Haneul asked the staff who was patching her up while side glancing at the group of 13 men. "Seventeen?" The staff answered.

The Red Velvet member nodded. A few more touches and she was done. She stood near the corner, waiting for her turn to emcee.

Haneul was silently watching the group. They were giving each other words of encouragement, some were shaking off their nerves, and some were practicing on the side. When she noticed one of them was standing near her, she tapped his shoulder and asked, "Excuse me, is this your debut stage?".

The boy turned around. It was the same boy who she caught looking at her. She took this time to properly read his features. He was sporting a near platinum blonde hair, his eyes were sharp and monolid. You could guess he was surprised to see her suddenly talk to him.

"Uhm yes sunbaenim" Hoshi said while bowing. "Oh no, please, it hasn't even been a year si ce I debuted" She let out a small airy laugh as she noticed him bowing extentively.

"You guys seemed nervous, I just wanted to cheer you on" She added onto her previous statement. This caught the attention of his other members. "I bet you'll do great" She encouraged them.

"Thank you Heaven sunbaenim" Some of them replied.

"1 minute" The producer yelled from backstage, signaling that it was their cue to go soon.

"Have fun out there!" She smiled one last time before the 13 men were ushered to go. Soonyoung smiled back and left.

Have fun. You'll do great.

Soonyoung remembered that moment.

And so did she. Ever since she talked to him, and had watched their undeniably amazing debut stage, she had been keeping an eye on his team and their music.

She became a huge a fan of his as much as he was a fan of her, and it made all their future interactions all the more interesting.

[pancakpop]

Giraffe | Jeonghan

• Pairing: Jeonghan x reader

• Genre: Fluff

• Length: Short

  Enjoy!!

~Em 🖤

“Babe, one day we should have a zoo date. How does that sound??” You ask Jeonghan who’s cuddling you. 

“Whatever you want to do sweetheart. Sadly you know I can’t do that just yet, but we will.” He grabs your hand and places and kiss to the back of it. 

“That’s why I said one day, silly.” You laugh at him, bringing his face closer to yours so you could kiss his cheek, “we have time, no rush babe.”

It had been awhile since you had mentioned the zoo date to Jeonghan, you never bothered him with mentioning it again thinking he just forgot about it. 

There were always different date ideas.

You were sat in the living room reading a book you were near to finishing when Jeonghan came up behind you placing his hands on your shoulders in attempts to bring you out of your book world.

You were startled but smiled when you looked up to see it was only him, “you’re back so soon??”

He hums moving you over a little on the one seater and shoved himself into the space beside you, “yeah maybe we can go on that date to the zoo you wanted. Do you still want to do it?? Because I know you think I forgot about it.”

You smiled and covered your face, “how did you know??”

“I know you well, babe. Now get ready we have a date to go to!!” He stood up and pulled you up to stand, “and don’t worry about food, we can buy food over there, babe. Now get ready we have a date to go to!!” He stood up and pulled you up to stand, “and don’t worry about food, we can buy food over there.”

“You’re not paying for everything, it’s my date idea and you finally decided to go on this date. So it’s half and half,” you cross your arms and shift your weight over to your right leg.

He sighed and with a pout he nods, “alright only because it took me forever to find time to take you out on this date.”

“Uh-uh,” you wave a finger at him with a shake of your head, “don’t try to guilt trip me.”

He laughs, “just go get dressed!!” He pokes your side to get you to move quickly.

You were wearing a beige oversized sweater and some shorts, you had gone out to do errands and once you got home you switched out of your light blue denim jeans just wanting to be comfortable, but now you just put on your jeans and your white converse.

The Zoo isn’t a very fancy date, you had this idea so Jeonghan didn’t have to feel like he had to take you somewhere fancy and so you could both just dress down and have fun together.

You just wanted him to feel like a normal person. He’s even said himself that that’s why he loves you so much, you treat him like a normal person when he wants to forget what the spotlight is like. 

You decided not to fix your hair hoping people just thought you went for a messier look and not that you were lazy.

You took your charging phone off of your nightstand and walked out of the room.

Sneaking up behind Han you announce, “I’m here!!” And start laughing when you see his shoulders quickly bounce upwards.

With a bright smile, you look around him so his face was visible to you, “so... did I scare ya??”

He couldn’t stay mad at you for long, and mostly when you were staring at him like that, which is why his face was now facing the ceiling, “let’s just go now,” he mumbles loosely wrapping his arm around your shoulders and together you walked out of your home.

Now at the zoo, you walked around hand in hand eating a cotton candy together looking at all kinds of animals, you have both have been at the zoo for quite a couple hours (mostly eating all the food in sight).

“We should see the giraffes before it get’s too dark.” Without waiting for your response he takes your hand and drags you towards the giraffes.

You laugh, “so this is why you really wanted to come here??” you ask with squinted eyes.

He shrugs, “I mean it was one of the reasons.”

Once the giraffes were in sight Jeonghan started to run over to them like a giddy child.

“I don’t think I’ve actually seen one in real life, well maybe on TV.” 

“Well, now you can say you’ve seen one in real life,” you smile at him lovingly.

He smiles, “want to see my impression of a giraffe running??” He asks eagerly.

You couldn’t help but laugh and nod, “sure babe.”

He ran around in a circle with his arms behind his back, he did resemble a giraffe, just one with two legs.

“How have I never seen this before??”

He scoffs, fake offended, “you must not watch our interviews. The MC’s all say that I’m an amazing giraffe.” He states while walking away from you.

Requests open for Seventeen, Got7, BTS, and BlackPink. We do moodboards, oneshots, reactions, drabbles, and texts!!

~Em 🖤 (I’ve had this in our drafts since the beginning of time)

[wonlouvre]

hiii i love your writing so much! i wanted to request maybe a junhui + reader barista au >< the plot can be anything i'm just a sucker for fluff aaaa

hope you have a great day <33

you | w. jh.

pairing: barista!junhui x g.n. reader genre: fluff warnings: mentions of food (please tell me if i missed anything!) word count: 1.2k+

💌: i am currently working from home and finally managed to finish this! thank you so much for requesting anon! i hope you like it:’)

The coffee shop you frequent has a newly hired barista. You assumed that said barista is new because ever since you started taking comfort in their coffees and pastries while studying, this is the first time you’re seeing the tall and handsome man. He’s really handsome, you have to admit and emphasize that. Most especially up close, where you can fully grasp almost every detail of his sharp features; you can tell he’s out of this world. 

“Hi! I’m Junhui,” he happily greets before taking the cap off of the pen he’s holding, “What can I make for you today?”

Junhui. You remember his name and his voice. If you can fall in love with the sound of a voice, it would be his. 

You reciprocate his happiness by answering his question in great delight (pretending you don’t have two final papers due by the end of the week). You notice how Junhui’s smile grows as he gets your order down. Although he really won’t be making your drink as he takes charge of the cashier, you don’t mind. After punching in your payment, he hands you the coaster that would buzz once your order is ready. You thank him and leave a generous amount of tip. 

Not because you’re trying to impress him or give him any special treatment. You just think he deserves it. Actually, everyone in this coffee shop deserves it for how they have given you a place to study comfortably and at the same time a place to have fresh brewed coffees and baked goods. Junhui is now a new addition to the staff that you’re grateful for. 

The first meeting with Junhui was good and you thought you were off for a great start. You thought he would remember your name, your usual order or maybe even your face. But to your dismay, he doesn’t.

At all. 

It’s a little disheartening. Just a little bit. You’re pretty much torn on how you feel about him anyway. For one, you’re used to the regular baristas here greeting you every time you come in. It doesn’t matter what time or day it is. But, how come Junhui doesn’t even glance up at you unless you’re talking to him directly? 

On the other hand, you also don’t know why you have so many high expectations for him. Do you fancy him? Or are you just attracted because he’s handsome? 

Nonetheless, you ignore your disappointment and continue going to the coffee shop like how you always do. What you feel doesn’t matter anyway. What matters at the moment is you getting through the semester without any failing marks so that you can get the stress free vacation you’ve been yearning for.

You can always go to the library, but a warm cup of coffee and a decadent slice of chocolate cake is too good to turn away from. 

“Hi Junhui,” you shyly greet as you stand on the counter with your wallet at hand. 

The coffee shop is quiet right now as it is almost nine in the evening. You haven’t been going during your usual late afternoon study session due to circumstances so you haven’t seen Junhui on his regular shift. But tonight, it seems like he took the night shift. This is the first time you’re seeing him after a while. 

“Hey.” Junhui smiles, his pen ready. “I’ve been excited to see you all day.”

That last sentence makes you blink in confusion. Huh? You look behind you and the rest of your surroundings to check if he’s really talking to you. When it’s just really you that he’s talking to, you silently point a finger to your chest, confirming if it’s really really you that he’s talking to. 

Junhui only laughs. “Yes, you. Now, what can I get for you?”

You narrow your eyes at him. “What have you done to the Junhui of this place? Who are you?”

“Y/N, are you going to order or not?”

You gasp in horror (dramatically). “Did you just say my name?”

Junhui rolls his eyes. “You know what, no free cookies for you tonight.”

“No!” You hold a hand out in surrender. “Okay, okay. One cafe latte please.”

That night was both amusing and bewildering. You have no idea where the sudden turn around came over Junhui, but you will take it. 

From then on, Junhui’s smile is a little different and you can see it in his eyes. He still rarely calls your name but when he does, it’s genuine. He still asks for what you’ll be ordering, but it doesn’t bother you anymore. 

“I think scrolling through every Instagram story is not a good idea if you really want to get at least an eighty on that essay.”

In this particular study session, Junhui has kept an eagle eye on you. He’s not taking any excuses from you when he clearly ordered you to not touch your phone in exchange for a free slice of cheesecake. 

You pout when Junhui picks up your mug, pouring the refill he promised when you reached three hundred words. “Can’t I take a break now and have the cake?”

Junhui gives you a “in your wish” look while planting his other hand on his hip. “Nope. Your goal is to finish tonight so all that’s left to do is to review and revise.” 

“Since when did you become so strict,” you grumble and return your attention back to your laptop. 

“Ever since I started giving you free pastries, that’s when,” he replies and takes the chair opposite your side. 

You scowl. “I can always pay. You’re the one that’s declining.”

“I’m not complaining,” Junhui says and picks up one of your notes. 

Junhui admitted later that it was hard for him to approach you differently from how he usually addresses every customer in the coffee shop. Not because he doesn’t like you. Of course not. It was difficult because just like you, he found you cute and even cuter whenever he hears you call his name or whenever he sees your happy smile as you tell him your order (even though he already knows). 

Junhui’s guess is you make him speechless and that he gets stuck with his regular programming as a cashier slash barista catering to the caffeine needs of everyone. As much as he wants to be your Junhui, he can’t help but be blown away by you, your face, voice, presence.

You.

However, when you started to visit the cafe late and during his off, he knew he needed to change and develop your awkward encounters into something else, something intimate and affectionate in the sincerest way possible. That’s how he ended up finally and excitedly calling your name. 

That’s also the beginning of the best relationship you could ever ask for.  

“Shouldn’t you be going back to work?” You ask, confused as to why he’s lounging around. 

“Sweetheart, my shift ended thirty minutes ago.”

Your eyes widen, immediately looking at the time. It’s way past ten and you’re still here. Way past closing hours. Way past Junhui’s shift. You can’t believe you lost track of time. 

“I’m so sorry,” you apologize and quickly gather your belongings. “I didn’t notice the time.”

“Hey, hey,” Junhui calls and holds your hand to stop. “It’s okay. Calm down.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You pout and zip close your backpack. 

Junhui just gives you his signature grin and waves a hand. “I told you it’s fine.”

“Is that your excuse to keep me to yourself and stare at me all night?”

Junhui giggles. “You got me.”

[boowanie]

part 5 — home

⤷ all you ever wanted was to be a diligent and successful student but life had a way of turning your world upside down when you’re faced with a difficult obstacle and the arrival of someone you wish you could hate.

or, a story in which mingyu manages to break your heart all over again.

prev | m.list | next

taglist: @hannahdinse8 @shoshishua @rjsmochii @snowyseungs @sweetbabytaeil @xmberkxm @joeycheungg @mingyuahjumma

[thekidultlife]

Please be reminded that our next updates will begin in August!

in the meanwhile, please send in more drabble requests! Send in a member + a word!

Thank you!

[pretty-little-howtown]

The Perfect Distraction

Summary: You use the movie night to try and stop your overwhelming feelings

Masterlist

Previous | Next

You held your phone above your head, sighing and replying to the messages on the group chat. How dare they insinuate you and Wonwoo are more than friends. Yes, you definitely see the appeal, but you would never stand in line for it, would you? You ponder as you look at his side profile. There seemed to be an ethereal beauty around him, a halo of light shining on his face from his phone screen. Your breath caught in your throat as he turned to face you.

“What?”

“Nothing!” you said, face heating up as you lifted your legs off his, opting instead to bend your knees and plant your feet firmly in the floor. Your feet were inches away, close, friendly and without any further implications.

You continued scrolling through your phone, and it was Wonwoo’s turn to stare at you. He thought about how much he hated that you went on a date with someone else. There wasn't a single person on this earth who was good enough for you or who would treat you like you’re supposed to be treated. No one saw how truly precious you were. To him, you were like an orchid. In theory, really easy to care for, all you need is water, soil, sun. In reality, if you don’t rid the plant of it’s dried leaves stems and flowers, it won’t thrive. If you don’t repot it, it will get cramped as it grows. There are so many ways everything could go wrong, but when everything was balanced, and you are truly happy it’s the most beautiful thing on earth. He knew you better than anyone because he’s been your best friend for so long.

He saw your eye subtly twitch and assumed it was something to do with the messages on the group chat he refused to look at. He also refused to bring any of the recent accusations; you always got upset when anyone suggested the two of you were dating. It made Wonwoo’s nerves fray for a reason he couldn’t quite pin point.

 Pertinent information:

Seungkwan came up with the plan to hijack the movie night for their own gain

Seungcheol is now extremely invested in the bet and wants to win

Sonyoong was the one who suggested Pride and Prejudice

Score: 1:0 to y/n’s emotional support for successfully usurping the other teams plan

[daisymbin]

jeonghan's . . . . . 👼 check out my masterlist

it's not just a game

hitorijanai

do you like me? [drunken series]

timestamps (short drabbles)

[14:07]

smaus

date crasher!

prompt list reqs! (request here)

scroll here: #daisymbin jeonghan requests

[kpurereactions]

Scenario or drabble for Seventeens Hoshi. He makes fun of the way his foreign S/O says something in Korean not realising how much it annoys them, his S/O gets upset an refuses to talk to him in any language other than their native language (English) which he doesn't understand very well for hours. I want to know how you think he would fix this. Like what would he say/do to get his S/O talking Korean to him again.

Title: Oblivious

Genre: Drabble/Fluff

Pairing: Kwon Soonyoung (Hoshi) x Reader

Admin: Eevee

A/N: To make this easier to understand dialogue in bold will be English and regular font dialogue will be Korean! Thanks for the request.

 You stared at Soonyoung as he laughed at you and started to get annoyed. You honestly weren’t 100% sure why he was laughing, but it was obvious he was laughing at you. 

“What?” You ask as you give him a dirty look. Soonyoung composed himself, laughing here and there, before answering you.

“The way you said that, it’s so wrong.” He said while cracking into another fit of laughter. You rolled your eyes and continued to make breakfast. This wasn’t the first time he had done this before. Korean isn’t even your first language, so of course you’re gonna get a few words wrong here and there. You weren’t sure what you said this time that made him crack up, but it was starting to irritate you more and more. You waited in silence, lips pursed, as Soonyoung continued to laugh.

“It’s. So. Funny.” He laughs between each word and clutches his stomach. You dropped the spatula and turned off the stove before plating your breakfast and walking away from him. You left the room and went to go eat in your bedroom, closing the door behind you so you don’t have to hear him. 

As you eat your breakfast, you come up with a way to get back a him. A way to make him feel how you feel when he makes fun of your Korean. Just as you were finishing your last bite, Soonyoung knocks on the door.

“Come in.” You say in English. There’s a pause before the door creaks open and Soonyoung pops his head in your room.

“Hey, are you alright?” He asks as he walks into the room and sits down on your bed. You chuckle a little at how oblivious he was before smirking.

“Oblivious much, Soonyoung?” You ask before lifting your eyebrows, waiting for an answer. He cocks his head to the side and  opens his mouth before closing, and repeat. You smirked at his expression.

“Why are you speaking English to me?” He asks and you pretend you don’t here him, not unless he speaks English back. And then the minute he makes a mistake in his English, you point it out and give him the taste of his own medicine.

“Did you want to ask me something?” You question him. He goes full on fish again with his mouth opening and closing before he starts thinking.

“Why are you speaking English?” He asks in English.

“Why am I speaking English? Because it’s my first language.” You respond back and give him a ‘duh’ face to get on his nerves a bit. 

“Ah, y/n, please stop speaking English. You know I don’t know English very well.” He responds in Korean. The urge to go off on him right then and there was tempting, but you wanted to play it out a little longer.

“I’m just talking comfortably since I can’t speak Korean without you laughing at me.” You angrily say in English while smiling at him, giving him mixed signals to confuse him even more. He pauses and gears start to turn in his head.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asks with a guilty look on his face. You nod your head and look up at him, waiting to hear if he knew why you were doing this. “What did I do?” He asks and you sigh. 

“Every time I mess up a word in Korean you always have to laugh or make some comment about it and it irritates me so much, Soonyoung.” You explain to him in Korean so he could actually understand. “It would be nice that instead of you making fun of me for saying something wrong, you tell me what I said wrong and try to help me say it correctly.” You finish before turning your body to look at him in the eye. 

“I-I’m so sorry, y/n.” Soonyoung apologizes as he looks away from you. “I didn’t realize you felt that way. I didn’t realize I was being so insensitive.” He says while scratching the back of his neck. 

“What can I do to make it up to you, y/n? Do you want to go on an expensive date?” He says as he grabs your hands in his. “How about a picnic on the beach?”

“It’s like 30 degrees (Fahrenheit) outside, Soonyoung.” You interrupt with a smile on your face.

“A trip to Hawaii where we can have plenty of great picnic’s in perfect degree weather?” He says and you start to laugh at him.

“Okay sure, a trip to Hawaii it is.” You respond before pulling him close to you so you could kiss him.

“I’m sorry, y/n. I’ll do better from now on.” He apologizes again after you pull away.

“I’m sorry too, Soonyoung. I love you.” 

“I love you.”

[henderistic]

Kids this summer is so boring should I make this account into a seventeen fanfic account???

I have no followers and I’m saying kids lol but anyways I just need something to do and this seems like the perfect thing so tell me if you’d be interested in it! (I’d revamp my account obviously!)

[smileysuh]

Masterlist

© smileysuh — all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any fic, reaction, or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.

MASTERLIST IS WONKY PLEASE USE THIS ONE: HERE

Series

The Cam Baby Series  ↳multi group/member camgirl!reader universe CEO NCT Series  ↳poly sugar daddy nct, different pairings.  

Group Masterlists

Ateez  BTS Got7 Monsta x NCT/Wayv Seventeen Stray Kids Coming soon... The Boyz, Astro, Victon

ALL ONESHOTS UNDER THE CUT

NCT (all units)

Invidious: dom! Johnny & Jaehyun  ↳4.1k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: You’re Johnny’s fuck buddy and usually he doesn’t care about who you’re sleeping with. Until he sees a bite mark that looks awfully familiar on your ass. 

Whist: Yandere! Lucas & Taeyong  ↳4.5k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: When one of your yandere boyfriends, Lucas, removes the diamond choker from your neck to mark you, Taeyong is not pleased.

Whist pt 2 : Yandere! Lucas & Taeyong ↳2.7k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: You say yes to their proposal, and your boyfriends are very happy about it.

Fallen: fallen angel Lucas ↳6k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: Lucas hates humans, but when he meets you, all bets are off.

The Dragon : boxer/badboy Lucas ↳6k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: your best friend is Ten, and he does NOT want you hooking up with his boxer bad boy roommate Lucas. 

NiceGuyJohnny : Johnny ↳1.5k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: Part of the CamBaby series, where Johnny suggests being a cam girl to make money, and all of your idol fuck buddies watch Johnny eat you out on camera for the first time.

Lucas99 & Hendery99 : Lucas & Hendery ↳3.6k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: part of the Cambaby series, where Lucas just wants a blowie in an alleyway, and then an unexpected friend shows up.

Switch: ceo! Johnny & Jaehyun & Haechan ↳6.4k, smut, reader insert, ceo masterlist here ↳Synopsis:You’re Johnny and Jaehyun’s sugar baby girlfriend. The new ceo, Haechan, makes Jaehyun jealous and Jaehyun invites Haechan over for dinner. They assume Haechan will be submissive, but he proves to be more of a switch than either Johnny or Jaehyun expected. 

Switch part 2 : ceo Johnny & Jaehyun & Haechan ↳5.6k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: Jaehyun usually takes you on tuesday lunch dates alone, but this time he invites Haechan. 

Switch part 3 : ceo! Johnny & Jaehyun & Haechan  ↳4.1k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: Club nights always end in the four of you finding a quiet place somewhere so you can get railed. 

Switch part 4 : ceo! Johnny & Jaehyun & Haechan  ↳12.9k . smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: Someone predictable gets jealous, in unpredictable ways, which leads to a lot of emotions bubbling to the surface, which you all must face.  

New : Ceo! Doyoung & Taeyong ↳12.5k, smut, reader insert, ceo masterlist here ↳Synopsis: They care about each other, but something’s missing in their dynamic. That something is you.

Break : demon/ceo Haechan ↳8.5k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: He asks you for a drink 3 times, and since you’re at work bartending, you say no. He proceeds to buy the whole bar and tease you until you’re begging for him. 

Ex : Haechan ↳5.1k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: It’s been a year since you both walked away, a year since you talked, but a chance enounter opens old wounds. 

Hungry : Lucas & Jackson (GOT7) ↳3.4k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: Jackson notices his friend Lucas is into you, so he makes sure his friend’s dreams comes true. 

Set Up : Frat! Johnny ↳13.8k, smut, reader insert, *enemies to lovers* ↳Synopsis: Johnny is never rude to anyone. which is why your four frat friends, Doyoung, Taeyong, Mark and Haechan think it’s so odd that you clash heads with the six foot Chicago native. Lucas has a secret, your friends try to play match maker, and you get sabotaged on multiple occasions, but it’s just another week at the frat

GOT7

Open Season : Mark & Jinyoung & Jackson ↳5.2k reader insert smut ↳Synopsis: Jaebum accidentally says that his fuck buddy can fuck who they want, which apparently means it’s open season for the entire Hyung Line to get with her.

Open Season pt2 : Mark & Jinyoung & Jackson & Jaebum ↳8.2k reader insert smut ↳Synopsis: Jaebum finds out about the reader sleeping with his friends and things get smutty.

A Lil Flipper : Mark ↳3k, reader insert smut ↳Synopsis: At a Tuan family event, you realize Mark is the man you want to make babies with. Is it the best decision? Probably not, but who cares. 

PubGMarkT : Mark  ↳2.6k, reader insert smut ↳Synopsis: Part of the CamBaby series, where camgirl!reader fucks Mark while he plays video games. 

beommie : Jaebeom ↳3.7k, reader insert smut ↳Synopsis: Part of the Cambaby series, where the boys in the chat are quick to make fun of Jaebeom’s ‘furry con attendee’ status, so he makes them eat their words. 

TheJinyoung : mean dom! Jinyoung ↳4.7k, reader insert smut ↳Synopsis: Part of the Cambaby series, where Jinyoung isn’t too interested in playing for the camera, but he is more than happy to make you work for it. 

Hungry : Jackson & Lucas (NCT) ↳3.4k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: Jackson notices his friend Lucas is into you, so he makes sure his friend’s dreams comes true. 

BTS

Four Days: Suga & Namjoon ↳4.8k Sugamon smut ↳Synopsis: You have an essay to write for school and Namjoon enforces a ‘no sex’ rule until it’s complete. Suga plays along with it but it’s clear you’re all getting impatient. 

Nefarious: yandere! Tae & JK  ||  moodboard ↳7.4k Yandere Taekook smut ↳Synopsis: You know you’re being followed. It’s been months. You finally take matters in your own hands to draw out the man following you. Turns out its not one man but two, and they’re completely in love with you. ↳inspo tags: Tae, Jk, Taekook

TaeTae: Taehyung  ↳4.6k, smut ↳Synopsis: Part of the CamBaby series, where camgirl!reader hasn’t seen Taehyun in a while and he shows her how much he missed her. 

Quickie: Taehyung   ↳2k, smut ↳Synopsis: Taehyung shouldn’t be allowed to wear a suit in the morning before work because it looks way too god damned sexy. 

Ateez

Mine: Seonghwa & Hongjoong  ↳3.4k, reader insert, smut ↳Synopsis: When your fuck buddy Hongjoong gets jealous of who you’re talking to at an event, you prove to him that you’re not only single, but can fuck whoever you want... by dragging Seonghwa into the cross fire.

Hyungs: Seonghwa & Hongjoong & San ↳4.7k, reader insert, smut ↳Synopsis: Hongjoong and Seonghwa share a girlfriend, and when San shows interest in her, they realize that maybe keeping her to themselves is a little selfish. 

8th Grade: Yunho & Mingi ↳8.9k, reader insert, smut, fluff.  ↳Synopsis: They’ve always just been your best friends. But Covid quarantine is making you all way too horny. 

Jealousy: Hongjoong ↳2.5k, reader insert, smut. ↳Synopsis: Your boyfriend is a little touchy about how close you are to his friends Mingi and Yunho.

Seveneteen

Winner : Mingyu ↳1.7k, smut, reader insert, *established relationship au* ↳Synopsis: Your bae deserves a reward after kicking ass at racing on a little kid sized go kart.

Night Out : Mingyu & Vernon & Wonwoo ↳4.3k, smut, reader insert ↳Synopsis: Vernon goes out for a night with Mingyu and Wonwoo to experience the ‘fun’ they always have. You go out to find a hot guy to take you home, you score threefold. 

Cuff 1: S.coups & Vernon & Wonwoo ↳4k, smut, reader insert, *established relationship au* ↳Synopsis: You and Vernon want to try bdsm, S.coups and Wonwoo help.

Cuff 2 : Hoshi & Vernon & Wonwoo ↳3k, smut, reader insert, *established relationship au* ↳Synopsis: You and Wonwoo get propositioned by (mainly) Hoshi, and Vernon.

Monsta x

Pillow Prince : Hyungwon & I.M ↳3.7k, smut, reader insert, *established relationship au* ↳Synopsis: You and Changkyun have been dating forever, and have a spicy reputation. You both figure movie night with Hyungwon can be a lot more fun if less clothes are involved

[tastyykpop]

🎉800 FOLLOWER SPECIAL🎉

Because I'm so close to 1000 followers and in celebration of reaching my milestone, send those sexc requests. Don't limit your mind to just fics!! I can write anything you want :)

Just give me a member (or two or however many you want 🤭), a prompt, and genre

Ex: hongjoong, meeting each other for the first time, fluff

They can also be lengthy asks if you want to expand on your thoughts or if you just have a lot to say idc✨