#she also played a song she wrote yesterday :)

[americanah-tropicana]

…

[bloodynereid]

hey i was wondering if you could write a warren rojas x reader fic where the reader is an absolute rockstar and what their relationship would be like since they’re two musicians dating one another while living with the six

i love ur writing

tyyy 💕💕💕

Rhythm of Our Love

pairing: warren rojas/rhodes x fem! reader

a/n: hi! tysm for ur request and hopefully I fulfilled it the best I could. also u didn't specify if you wanted fem or gender neutral reader so i kind of just went with fem if that's okay. also this fic kind of ran away from me so I guess you just get to spend 5.3k words falling more in love with warren (I personally like longer fics). oh and there's a lot of billy bashing in this, which wasn't really intentional but yk it happens. oh and btw i hadn't watched the new episodes yet when i wrote this so this is really just mixed with some book events so book spoilers (!!) - reader is kind of like female pete if that makes sense

tw: drug mentions (mescaline, weed, pills), addiction mentions, billy bashing (don't know if that qualifies as a warning lmao), swearing, cigarette smoking, mentions of cheating (billy and camila - not warren + reader)

description: the rise to fame of a band and the love story between the drummer and bassist that accompanies it.

Y/N (bassist for Daisy Jones & The Six): Is this on? Yeah okay right. So where do you want me to start? The beginning. Geez okay let’s start at the beginning then.

You grew up living next to the Dunne brothers and ended up taking up bass after listening to Queen and The Beatles. John Deacon and Paul McCartney made those songs what they were and you were proud to be able to play something similar to them. So it was only natural that you ended up joining the Dunne brothers after Graham accidentally heard you playing one summer night.

Y/N: God I can remember the first time I played with them so clearly. They had become a pretty established band in Hazelwood but Chuck had quit, wanting to go to dental school or some shit like that, so they were going to give the bass part to Eddie, until Graham found me.

Eddie: Y/N was a lifesaver. I would have to play bass if Graham hadn’t gotten her to join. Plus she was one of the best things that could have happened to the band.

It was a chilly night but you rocked up to your neighbor’s garage wearing a pair of flared jeans and a butterfly top. Your bass slung over your shoulder and a cigarette between your lips. 

Warren: Y/N was a total rockstar from the beginning. And the way she carried herself that night, man, she was the most attractive woman I had ever seen.

“So are we ready to get this show on the road? I’ve been working on the sheets that Graham gave me yesterday.” You said as you entered the small room where all the boys were already tuning up and Warren was playing a random rhythm on the drums.

“We’re opening for the Winters in two days. Make sure you aren’t still ‘working’ on those sheets.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” You gave him a little salute whilst rolling your eyes which learned a few laughs from the group and a frown from Billy.

“Whatever, let’s just get this going.”

Graham: Billy was an asshole when he first met Y/N. Similar to how he was with Daisy, but he knew we needed her. 

Eddie: Y/N handled Billy better than I think anyone ever has. She met his challenges with blunt sarcasm and humor. Anyone who could deal with his bullshit made an instant friend with me.

Warren: I don’t think she knew how hot I found her at that moment.

Y/N: I knew. I mean I had been harboring a little crush on Warren since middle school. I wanted to impress him and I would say I succeeded.

Warren: She had a crush on me in MIDDLE SCHOOL? If I had known that it would have made things a hell of a lot easier.

Y/N: Fast-forward two days, came the night that changed everything. I mean my first gig was the time we opened for the Winters. My fingers were cramping and I had a horrible backache from the amount of practice I had been doing. On a plus side I got to meet Camila. She was just… incredible. God knows that Billy doesn’t deserve that wonderful woman at all.

You were running on a total of 2 hours of sleep. The past two nights had been spent practicing the pieces over and over again by yourself. And then the days were filled with practice with the boys. The band needed this to be perfect and you understood the weight of that completely. You were a rockstar. You were meant for this. At least that’s what you kept telling yourself as you walked into the performing area, staring wide eyed at the space.

Y/N: All I was thinking was: “You better not fuck this up.” That was the night we also met Karen. Karen Karen, my soon to be best friend. She was the keyboardist for The Winters and let’s just say Graham fell in love at first sight.

Right before we were about to go on stage a sudden crushing feeling started to encompass your chest. You were actually going to do this. Oh fuck.

Warren: I could tell she was having a freakout. I mean if it was my first time playing with a new band AND I had only had 2 days to practice I would have been hyperventilating. So I went up to her.

“What’s your favorite fruit?” That silky voice brought you out of your spiral with the most absurd question that had ever been uttered.

“Uh what?”

“What’s your favorite fruit? Mine personally are strawberries.”

“Oh umm I don’t know, I kind of like Y/F/F (your favorite fruit).”

“Cool, you good?” That was when you realized what he had done. You sent Warren a blinding smile and leaned to give him a quick peck on the cheek.

“Yeah thanks I owe you one.”

Warren: Call me a sap or whatever but I can still feel that kiss. I treasured that for a long time. Anyways, she was incredible that night. 

Y/N: There was like this electrifying feeling of being on stage and playing to all those people. I wanted to feel like that forever. Maybe it was also pure exhaustion but I swear it felt like I was on a high.

Billy: She played really well, I mean for a person who had two days of practice.

Y/N: We met Rod Reyes after our set. The man was a douchebag but he planted that LA dream in all of us. I was probably too exhausted to have been making decisions of that kind but…

“If you all will have me, I say fuck it let’s go to LA!”

“Let’s go to LA!”

Y/N: None of us stayed for the Camila and Billy drama, so Warren dropped me off last. We smoked weed for a while. We talked about all that weird philosophical shit that you talk about when high. Then I crashed for a few hours.

It was raining buckets. You pulled up in your dad’s car outside of Warren’s house. You had those weirdly unattached parents who really didn’t give a damn about what you did. They already had their hopes pinned on your older brothers so when you asked if you could move to LA, your parents couldn’t have helped you pack up faster.

“Bye dad.”

“Bye sweetheart. Don’t forget your bass.” He gave you an uncomfortable hug before passing your last suitcase filled with small remnants of your life.

“Hey Mr. L/N. I can take that.”

“Thanks Graham.” He quickly put up your few suitcases on the roof and you waved at your dad as he disappeared into the blankets of rain.

“Ready?”

“Definitely.” Warren helped you into the van and you got situated in a comfortable spot. You lit up one of your cigarettes and opened up the pages of your slightly damp book, waiting for a while until finally everything seemed ready to go. Well not everything.

“Got room for one more?” Camila got into the van and sent you a little smile before cosying up next to Billy.

Y/N: That road trip was one of those things that was both horrible and incredible at the same time. But when we got to LA man wow it was like we were transported and then we met Rod Reyes, again. He was such an asshole but at least we finally had some gigs lined up and a house, but calling it that might actually be a bit generous. 

Warren: Graham insisted we kept the haunted room for Karen. And obviously Billy and Camila got a room. Which meant Y/N was either stuck on the couch or rooming with one of us. And… Graham and Eddie already called the bunks.

“This is so fucking unfair! Why does your non-existent girlfriend get a room and I don’t?”

“She’s not my girlfriend!”

“Fuck you Graham. Where the fuck am I meant to sleep then huh?”

“Uh well Eddie and I are sharing the bunks.”

Y/N: It was like a really bad romance movie.

“You have got to be kidding me! Did any of you even think to count the rooms in this house?”

“Guys just shut the fuck up. Y/N you’re going to sleep in Warren’s room and that’s final. You’re all acting like children.”

Y/N: That was also one of the many times that Camila basically acted like our mother, in a good way.

“You know what, fine! I hope you’re happy Graham.” You said as you slammed the door to your new room and unpacked in a furious hurry. 

Warren: There was a king sized bed that took up basically the entirety of our room. Honestly it was one of the worst rooms in the house, but at least it wasn’t haunted! 

Y/N: Warren wanted to take the floor but if you saw that room you would know that the floor basically consisted of like a slab of wood. The closet and the bed took up the entire space and then there was this huge window. It didn’t even have curtains! Whoever designed that room was an idiot. But we didn’t have the money for anything else.

Warren: I tried to be a gentleman about it but like I would never have been able to sleep on the floor and I wasn’t sleeping outside.

Y/N: Not going to lie after that first night I was kind of grateful to Graham. Don’t tell him I said that though. Anyways we played so many gigs and were getting nowhere. And we were slowly running out of money. Oh and Karen did end up joining the band and she got the room.

You were all seated in some random diner with Camila counting out all the money you had gotten from gigs and your little part-time job working at a movie theater. On your side of the table sat Karen, Warren, you and then Eddie.

“Why are we still called the Dunne brothers, anyway?” That ended up sparking up a rather loud discussion of our side of the table against Billy. You rolled your eyes and leaned your head on Warren’s shoulder. You could see his stupid smile as he looked down at you so you just poked him in the ribs and he laughed.

“I for one am for changing the name.” You said as you took a drag of your cigarette, adding to the already thick cloud of smoke that surrounded the band.

“You see, Billy, basically the entire band is against you on this one.”

“No, no. The band name is what gives us credibility if we change it then all of our reputation goes out of the window.”

“Oh our Pittsburgh reputation really? Or maybe the reputation of not being able to get good gigs.” You barked back at the already angry man which made Eddie send you a grateful smile.

Then came the barrage of horrible name ideas, including one from Warren that made you look up at him from his shoulder in confusion and slight disgust.

“Look okay, the seven of us will never agree on the name.” That’s when it came to you.

“What about The Six?”

“Huh?” Everyone turned to you as you sat up and took a sip of Warren’s coffee.

“I mean no offense Camila but you aren’t technically part of the band so there’s six of us. We can be called The Six. The Five is used too much and The Seven sounds like way too many members so how about The Six?”

“You know what, I like it.”

“Me too.”

Y/N: So we had a shiny new band name, my relationship with Warren had gone from band mates to really good friends. And no I don’t mean that in an innuendo way but you get really close to someone you have to share a bed with every night. We had some good nights.

Warren: I always thought that Y/N would end up moving in with Karen after she joined but she didn’t. I think she knew that that room was haunted.

“So who do you think the most attractive person in the band is?” You and Warren were lying on the bed in a drug addled haze after taking some mushrooms he had gotten from one of his hippie friends.

“Huh?” You sluggishly turned to look at his face, finding that his eyes were already on you.

“Who do you think is the most attractive in the band?”

“Hmm I don’t know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean Graham and Billy aren’t my type. Eddie is hopelessly in love with Camila-”

“Wait what?”

“Dude are you blind?”

“No? I mean I know Graham likes Karen but she doesn’t like him.”

“That is like the most obvious observation I have ever heard.”

“Hey! So that just leaves… Camila, Karen and me. Wait, is Camila the person who you find most attractive? I’m not judging if she is.”

“I can’t lie she’s really pretty and Karen is absolutely stunning but no not the person I find most attractive.”

“Me?”

“Yes dumbass. Now it’s your turn to answer the question.”

“Oh that’s easy, you obviously.” You smiled bashfully at him as his mischievous smirk grew.

“You are too charming for your own good.”

“I could say the same thing about you.” That was when you both fell silent. Maybe it was the confidence the drugs gave you but you quickly gave him a kiss before backing away.

“You like me back?”

“Obviously you dumbass, I've liked you for ages. Why do you think I’ve been cuddling with you for the past few months? I don’t do that with every single person I know.”

“I don’t know.”

“Just shut up and kiss me again.”

Y/N: As I said, a really cheesy romance movie. But I found Warren and we fit like puzzle pieces.

Warren: We were high on shrooms when she kissed me. We didn’t do much else that night, other than kissing and then sleeping.

Y/N: I may have loved Warren but we weren’t sleeping together until I knew he was serious. I had seen him with the small amount of groupies that we had. I’m not a jealous woman but that right there boiled my very core.

Warren: I stopped hanging out with the groupies after that night. Y/N became the light of my life, I wasn’t going to ruin the only good thing going for me that wasn’t the band.

Y/N: Then Billy convinced Teddy Price to listen to one of our songs. I have no idea how he did it. The next few months after that song were the most anxiety I had ever experienced but they were also the happiest. I was doing what I loved and I was doing it with the person I loved. Then we got to record the album. 

Karen: Y/N and Warren went official a few weeks before we got the album deal. They were the most obnoxiously cute couple I had ever been around. And they complemented each other incredibly well.

Graham: Honestly I take it as full credit to my genius that those two first got together.

Camila: Oh Y/N and Warren… god they were one of those strangely healthy couples. They were living the life, they had each other, the band and the drugs. They were insanely happy together.

Y/N: We were going to go on tour! That was huge for us and for me. A few days before we went though, Camila told us she was pregnant. They got married that night.

Warren: The wedding? Oh I don’t remember it that much. Mescaline… well it’s a powerful drug.

Y/N: Did Warren tell you we were on mescaline the entire night? Yeah. God, I wish I had been more present in that moment but we truly were having the time of our lives. Camila being pregnant also put things into perspective for us. Protection wasn’t a big thing in the 70s but I had been taking birth control after I read a few books. I wasn’t taking any chances. 

Warren: Yeah we had a deep discussion about that. I think that was one of the many times where I realized how shit it was to be a woman of that time. I supported whatever she wanted to do fully.

Y/N: We went on tour. It was fine. Billy was an asshole but he went off the rails. I mean Warren and I were a bit out of control cause you know… fame. But Billy, he went hard on all the drugs and the groupies.

Warren: We were there to have a good time but I also recognized something in Billy that I never wanted to be. I stayed away from the hard drugs and sure we hung out with groupies but I would never betray Y/N like that.

Y/N: Then Camila arrived, heavily pregnant and she found Billy getting it on with some groupie. Fuck, I really tried to call her but you never want to hurt someone like that you know. Fast forward a few shows and well we found out Camila had given birth. Teddy put Billy in a rehab center. We cut the tour short and that fucked it up with the label. I think it also made me realize how incredibly lucky I was to have found Warren.

Warren: The next few months the band was idle. Y/N and I did a ton of mushrooms and we helped babysit Julia. It was actually really nice and domestic.

Y/N: I was bored out of my mind. I wasn’t suited for an idle lifestyle. When Billy decided to stop being an idiot and rejoined the band, things finally started to look up. And then we all met Daisy Jones.

“Why can’t we just have Karen or Y/N sing this stuff? If you want an edge we have that already.”

“Oh no way, Billy. I don’t sing, I’ll help with backing but that’s it.” You said as you stamped out your cigarette on the tray.

“I’m with Y/N. Plus I agree with Teddy, it will give us a new sound.” Billy stormed out of the room at that leaving you and the rest of the band to chuckle at his dramatics.

Y/N: We were all enraptured with her when she first walked into the studio. She was wearing a button down shirt and no pants. That made one hell of an entrance. And of course, Billy wasn’t pleased.

“Hi nice to meet you Daisy. I’m Y/N.” You said as she walked into the recording studio while Warren’s arm was secured around your shoulders.

“You too. Thank you all for having me.”

“You’re welcome.” Graham answered.

“Okay, let’s get this show on the road.” You and the rest of the band left the room and went into the production booth.

Y/N: She was incredible. Even if she did try to change up Billy’s song. Personally I always liked her version. After that recording session it all kind of blew up. Billy wanted to keep the song as it was and obviously he did that until Daisy showed up to one of our shows at The Whisky. We then headed out to our world tour, The Numbers tour as it was dubbed featuring Daisy Jones.

Warren: We were making money, a ton of money at that. Sold out shows everywhere we went.

Y/N: I’m pretty sure that was the tour that Karen and Graham started hooking up. Warren didn’t believe me, he had his own theories. Like he thought Bones, our lighting guy… *cue you breaking out into laughter*, sorry sorry, but geez yeah Warren was honestly the most clueless guy I had ever met and I loved him for it. Then came the show for Rolling Stone, that was an incredible show but Eddie… that man had basically become my brother at that point. What Billy did was one of the worst things he could have ever done to him.

Eddie: I couldn’t take it anymore so I had to do something.

Y/N: I understood why he smashed that guitar. I would have done the same thing. But my bass was also something I had basically built all by myself. I wasn’t going to hurt my baby.

After all of the drama, you quickly made your way over to Eddie before Jonah Berg came down. A cup of water in hand and a cigarette dangling from your lips. 

“Ed?” You walked up next to your best friend and gave him a little shoulder nudge.

“Oh hey Y/N.” His voice sounded thick with underlying rage. One that you recognized all too well.

“I’m really fucking sorry.” And you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug.

Y/N: When you spend a long time around someone you kind of learn their tells. Warren and I were incredibly good at reading each other. And I was just incredibly similar to Eddie, so I knew how to help him… we both have really horrible tempers. Warren and the drugs had been helping but Eddie didn’t have a Warren.

Eddie: What Y/N did after that show… she knew I didn’t want to talk about it. She became my sister at that moment.

Y/N: I think Warren and I should have probably stopped Daisy. But we were sort of mooching off her stash. We promised each other to not go on the hard stuff but I think I was getting addicted.

Warren: Drugs were a normal thing in the 70s and we were having fun! But yeah I was feeling like I was starting to depend on pills.

Y/N: I was getting sloppy with my playing so I knew I needed to start weaning myself off it. We didn’t know much about addiction back then so it was hard to stop but we did the best we could. Well for one thing we didn’t go cold turkey.

Warren: When she told me, I understood her completely, I was feeling the effects of it too. We kind of talked through it a bunch and decided we should probably lay off the heavier psychedelics. Being rockstars meant you were down to have fun but if she wasn’t happy then I was going to try and remedy that.

Eddie: I think after the whole Glasgow thing I saw Y/N become more level headed. The same with Warren. I think they made some decision to get like moderately clean. They were still smoking pot and stuff but stopped with the pills and harder stuff.

Karen: I swear I thought they were either trying to get pregnant or Y/N already was. The fact that after that Rolling Stone interview they suddenly stopped taking anything stronger than weed is probably what made me suspicious.

Y/N: I ended up sitting next to Eddie for most of the flight back, leaving Warren to sleep. I think we were the only two band members that weren’t consulted about Daisy, but I honestly didn’t give a damn. It was nice to have another girl around and… I was probably feeling the withdrawal.

Warren: When we got back to LA, I bought a one-bedroom Gibson.

Y/N: Warren bought a boat and I bought a little house which has a boat dock, it was kind of like a perfect compromise. 

Warren: I kept my boat mostly at Y/N’s house but we occasionally went on little trips. Mostly we drank beers on it and spent nights at the house. Y/N took up sports for some reason but I wasn’t going to complain, she looked hot.

Y/N: Yeah, I took up surfing, boxing and got into soccer. I was still practicing bass daily but without the band getting together much that summer, Warren and I kind of just did whatever. We smoked a lot of weed too. We were moderately clean and we were happy but I think deep down we missed life on the road.

Warren: Neither of us were ones for settling down. That’s probably why Y/N got into sports and I bought that boat. Oh and Eddie was around a lot. At first I thought he was trying to get into Y/N’s pants or something but they have this weird bond that reminded me of how my sisters and I acted.

Eddie: I visited Y/N and Warren A LOT. I don’t think they minded me being there, I basically took up permanent residence in Y/N’s spare bedroom. Y/N and I actually wrote a lot of songs during those days and we both got into surfing. And the LA surf scene was something else but I was itching for the road and they were too. So when the call came in from Graham we were all ready to leave. 

Y/N: We got together in The Rainbow and that’s where everyone just started to talk about everything and what parts they wanted to play. I mean I was already writing my bass lines so I was fine in that department. Warren and I mostly stayed out of the conversation, just smoking and making little jokes.

Graham: I think this was one of the only times that Y/N was completely silent around Billy. I mean Warren and her had always been pretty independent but they seemed like they were in their own little world. Well that was at least until Eddie stepped in.

“Look I don’t want us to turn into some kind of pop group dynamic.”

“You know what I agree with Eddie.”

“Oh so you’re finally going to talk.”

“What the hell?! I didn’t have anything to contribute and was making it easier for you and now you’re getting mad at me for actually pitching in?”

Billy: Y/N and Eddie hated me. I don’t know what I ever did to them but they got on my nerves constantly.

Daisy: Y/N was a spitfire. Eddie and her kind of had this team dynamic that was based on ganging up on Billy. Not that he didn’t deserve it but there was always underlying tension.

Y/N: I never hated Billy. He just wasn’t someone I particularly liked. He thought the world revolved around him and he loved trying to be the boss. He never once listened to my ideas, even if I had been there from basically the beginning. Eddie and I were just getting fed up.

“Okay, everyone just calm down. Billy, Eddie does have a point.” Teddy Price was always the peacemaker in these things. You scoffed and leaned in closer to Warren who had taken to rubbing circles on your arm to calm you.

Y/N: We walked out of there with a new name: Daisy Jones & The Six. I guess you can call that the beginning of the end. While Daisy and Billy went off to compose, the rest of us worked on Aurora together. By the time we were going to play it for Billy I think it sounded pretty incredible but… he hated it. You could see the revulsion on his face but Teddy convinced him to keep it. Oh but Daisy loved it! I knew I liked her for a reason.

Warren: Daisy got on really well with Y/N and I during the entire time we made Aurora. We had that easy way of suggesting things for each other and giving feedback that we all followed.

Daisy: I wish I had a relationship like those two. They respected the other person in a way I had never seen before and they were so hopelessly in love with each other. I knew it was only a short time before they would get married. I was honestly jealous of what they had.

Y/N: I never went to one of Daisy’s infamous parties. Not because I didn’t want to but because I was happier. Which sounds really fucked up cause everyone else wasn’t doing that great around that time. I think the fact that I stopped taking drugs helped A LOT. Warren and I were enjoying life so you know we obviously took the next step. We got married.

Warren: We didn’t tell anyone we were getting married. And no one really knew until the band broke up.

Y/N: We got married in a little chapel on this hill near Long Beach. I refused to do a Vegas wedding even if we were eloping.

Warren: She was insanely beautiful that day. We both showed up in pretty casual wedding clothes.

Y/N: I was wearing a long sleeve all-white prairie dress that I had bought the day we decided to do it. It wasn’t my style at all.

Warren: We spent our honeymoon at our little house. And we didn’t answer the phone for like a solid four days. Good times.

Y/N: The band was freaking out by the time we came back to rehearsals on thursday. They thought we died or something.

Eddie: We thought they went on some kind of bender or disappeared into the horizon with Warren’s boat but no they arrived on thursday with these huge smiles and a new car.

Y/N: We extended the honeymoon after the band broke up. We went to Hawaii with Warren’s boat. I don’t think that was safe but we did it anyway.

Warren: Oh, the car. Did Eddie mention that? Yeah we put some of our money together and bought an Aston Martin. You know the James Bond car.

Y/N: We had some money left over from royalties and stuff so when we pooled it we had just enough to buy that car and start putting some more of it into retirement.

Warren: We still have that car. And we still live in that same house. And Y/N hasn’t made me sell the boat yet so we’re doing pretty good.

Interviewer: So how did the band react to you two getting married?

Y/N: Well, I told Eddie first. He obviously reacted as expected.

Eddie: I was happy for her but mad that she didn’t let me be at the wedding. Y/N made up for it though when she allowed me to officiate their vow renewal.

Graham: I found out a few weeks after the band broke up. I was obviously not doing well after all the Karen drama. But I went up to their house to see them and when I walked inside I saw the rings on their fingers and the rest is history. I got to be Warren’s best man at the vow renewal, I mean it was my entire genius that got them dating in the first place, it was the least they could do.

Karen: I knew when I met up with Y/N and Camila for drinks. She showed us the ring and honestly we were both very shocked.

Camila: I didn’t think she would go through with it but wow I couldn’t imagine a better match. When she asked us to be maids of honor for her wedding, I obviously accepted.

Daisy: I didn’t go to the vow renewal. Being around Billy was going to be a trigger and I knew that. But I still meet up with them a lot. Their kids love being around mine.

Billy: Yeah I was happy for them, sure. Camila told me after they went out for dinner I think.

Y/N and Warren Rojas live in that small house on the coast of LA with their three kids, Lily, Vivienne (Viv for short) and Javier. Y/N went on to be the bassist for many well-known artists like Kate Bush, Billy Idol and even worked with members of the Beatles. They are currently celebrating their 20 year anniversary, which was marked by a vow renewal a few months ago.

this is very much self indulgent - i will be writing a bunch of angst next so prepare yourselves.

taglist: @pinkdaiisies @yesshewrites1 @lisbeth122605

[johns-prince]

John was being honest when he described himself as dead lazy, and so having a partner and bff like Paul was perfect for him since Paul is such a workaholic and can hardly sit still.

John needed a push, someone who could carefully and patiently nudge and drive him along, or at least light the fire under his butt, because if not he could become listless, lethargic, and stuck. I'd say this was pretty obvious during the 70s.

Paul was perfectly suited for John in this, like in so many other ways too. Paul seemed not at all bothered, but quite comfortable with this position in their relationship, as far as I can tell. I'm thinking back to Paul making his way to John's house in Kenwood, that he'd often have to wake John up, this involving cups of tea or coffee. Maybe they did some writing and playing, maybe they didn't, as Paul said it was his way to get out of London.

Or, how Paul, John, and Ringo (sans George) had to do a Christmas recording, and how Paul, the whole time, was gently and patiently urging John on to just do it.

I think they're a perfect encapsulation of their relationship, these moments and memories caught.

They both gave each other a harmless need to compete, and to accomplish, together. I mean I'm sure there were plenty of times Paul's patience wore thin with John, and I'm sure John was very intentional in needling that, but insofar that I can tell, Paul really did have exceedingly, almost near limitless patience and love for John as both a partner and a friend.

John needed that, he needed someone like Paul, who could truly and unapologetically put up with him, and love him, and still want to work with him every day, day and night.

Even when the band broke up, the divorce finalized, and John was both loving and hating Paul in tandem for the next ten years... Paul was desperate to write with John again, and John was desperate just to write, you see.

PLAYBOY: But wasn’t it clear that John wanted only to work with Yoko?

LINDA: No. I know that Paul was desperate to write with John again. And I know John was desperate to write … desperate. People thought, Well, he’s taking care of Sean, he’s a house-husband and all that, but he wasn’t happy. He couldn’t write and it drove him crazy. And Paul could have helped him—easily.”

— Linda on John and Paul in the late 70’s and 1980. (X)

While Yoko was definitely driven and career oriented, that didn't necessarily mean she influenced, inspired, or drove John on herself. Not in the way Paul did. I think that's pretty evident, considering he subsumed himself to "house husband", only occasionally baking bread before even that lost his interest, in which he'd keep to lazing about, sleeping hours on end, and mindlessly watching tv.

John was no house husband, the role he took with Yoko was pretty far removed from his potential, even with Cynthia it wasn't that bad.

With Paul, John even thought of writing musicals, and he apparently wasn't even that fond of musicals—but if Paul wanted to do it, like so many other things, then why couldn't John? If John had Paul, then he could do just about anything and everything, really.

“MM: In the early days, did John and Paul really write together?

MARTIN: Yes, but they also wrote separately. “Please Please Me” and “From Me To You” and “I Want To Hold Your Hand” were undoubtedly collaborative efforts. They’d sit down and literally construct the songs together. I can’t remember the first individual songs, although obviously even before I met them they were writing individually, but if you go through them you can hear which of them are John-oriented and which are Paul-oriented. “Yesterday” is obviously Paul, and that’s an interesting point because it was the first time we ever used anyone other than Beatles on a record. There was no one on that record but Paul and a string quartet.

MM: Did you notice them growing apart, developing distinct personalities?

MARTIN: Paul and John had their own identifiable styles: Paul was the syrupy one and John was the hard one. But the rift wasn’t there then. They were really a unit.

MM: Could you tell me what you think of what each one has done individually since the last Beatles record?

MARTIN: I have great admiration for George. He’s done tremendously because it’s a sort of devotion to duty as far as he’s concerned. We forced him into being a loner, I guess … he could never collaborate with anybody in his writing and therefore when the split came he had more strength because he was forced to be alone. He learned an awful lot about producing, studio techniques, and so on, so that he was able … obviously, any one of them had the power - because they had the money - to spend as much time in the recording studio as they liked, and I know that when George made his album he spent six months doing nothing but overdubbing his own voice 16 times and producing his album. To have the tenacity to do that in itself is something of an achievement, but to go along and actually produce good sounds and good music and good lyrics with it is tremendous. I’m full of admiration for that.

I think the other two have suffered by comparison, because they’ve each indulged themselves in their own way. John’s become more obvious in a way … “Power To The People” is a rehash of “Give Peace A Chance,” and it isn’t really very good. It doesn’t have the intensity that John’s capable of. Paul, similarly with his first album … it was nice enough, but very much a home-made affair, and very much a little family affair. I don’t think he ever really rated it as being as important as the stuff he’d done before.

I don’t think Linda is a substitute for John Lennon, any more than Yoko is a substitute for Paul McCartney.”

— George Martin, Melody Maker Interview, 1971. (X)

John was very partner orientated. He needed someone, whether he liked it or not, and he needed them to need him too.

He didn't like being a husband, but he liked having a wife, someone there for him constantly, who loves him and will care for him. John had Cynthia for that, at the start. John had Pete as his partner in crime, bestest of mates, when they were just kids.

Then, John had Paul, and turns out, Paul just about covered all of that, too, and plus it. A best friend, a coconspirator, a wife, a collaborator, his partner, his rival and his greatest ally and muse. Cherry on top, Paul needed John just as badly, madly. Maybe John never saw it that way, maybe that was why he had his fear, his insecurity that Paul never really needed him as much as John needed him.

“IRVIN: Back then people were very keen on knowing who the leader of the group was…

GEORGE M.: Yes, I was. When I first auditioned them I said, “Who’s going to be the leader, is it John or Paul?” Such an odd couple really, because they were diferent and yet very similar, both had big egos, both very good songwriters, but they needed each other like mad.

IRVIN: Did they really like each other? It wasn’t just a competitive partnership.

GEORGE M.: Oh no, they loved each other! They were brothers, and like brothers they pissed each other off quite a lot. John could be maddening at times, Paul can be very bossy and even more maddening and George would get fed up with both of them. But they did love each other and adored what the other did and had an incredible bond.

Paul always took inspiration from John, especially in his lyric-writing. ‘Eleanor Rigby’, for example, wouldn’t have happened without John’s influence. Paul wrote all of it but John’s influence was there and similarly John was knocked out by the freshness Paul brought to melodies and harmonies. He learnt from Paul how to put in the odd chord that choked you up a bit.”

— George Martin, interview w/ Jim Irvin for Mojo: Sir George Martin: The Mojo interview. (March, 2007) (X)

I think I've gone off tangent, but the point of this was to say, John was dead lazy, vastly intelligent and talented, but very prone to sloth. Paul was a rather perfect stopper to that. He could whip John up, get him moving, shaking, ever patient and ever loving, just the right enough of mean, bitchy and stubborn, smart and quick tongued, to meet John toe-to-toe. Like a house on fire these two fired each other up, talk about all-consuming and intense.

They were pretty perfectly matched for each other.

“It was like a tug of war. Imagine two people pulling on a rope, smiling at each other and pulling all the time with all their might. The tension between the two of them made for the bond.”

— George Martin on Lennon/McCartney (X)

[pastryleclerc]

je vais t'aimer

requested: yes/no

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader (one shot)

warnings: slow burn smut (the act itself is about two pages long, it's also my first!!), my bad english (and possibly bad writing), language, established bf/gf relationship, some fluff of charles and the reader making music together and being domestic towards the end, lots of text in between the lyrics - please imagine yourself singing in one go, reader is described to have brunette hair and blue eyes, mentions of death and dying, oral (fem and male receiving), p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, kids!) but reader is said to be on the pill, cock warming if you squint, also slight breeding kink towards the end, please comment if you find anything else and i'll add it to the list

word count: 4.846 words (with lyrics), 4.352 words (without lyrics)

a/n: hello guys 🥰 finally it's here - my first fic! i truly can't believe that i wrote an almost seven page long one shot but here we are. 🤩 the inspiration for the fic was "je vais t'aimer" by louane from the movie "la famille bélier" (the original was sung by michel sardou) - go and give the song a listen if you can :) i've proofread the text but i'm sure there will be a few mistakes, especially when it comes to grammar and commas, since english is not my first language. also, i feel like the ending is a bit rushed. 😅 feel free to let me know what you think as feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome 🙏 if you can find the symbolism used in this, i'll give you a cookie 🍪 in addition to that there's a hint to one of my favorite shows - leave a comment if you know what it is 😉 (italics = lyrics, brackets = translations) - here we go, i hope you enjoy this :) | *"Tonnerre de Dieu" is an idiom meaning something like "Bloody hell!"

🔎 directions | 🔎 masterlist

The cool summer breeze coming through the window – which was left open after last night’s activities – softly grazed her skin. The warm sunrays that rested upon her eyelids awakened her slowly. It was an early Sunday morning in the Monégasque summer – almost too early for her liking – so she blinked a few times but ultimately decided to close her eyes again, hoping to get a few more hours of sleep. Trying to escape the rising sun she turned towards where she thought her lover would be laying, hoping to snuggle up to him while enjoying the last day of their free weekend. But when she reached out her warm, delicate hands, all she could feel were empty sheets that had started to become cold already, indicating that her boyfriend had been out of their shared bed for a while now. So much for staying in bed.

Slowly Y/N sat up, letting out a yawn while stretching her arms above her head. By doing so, her own sheets slipped down her body, uncovering her very naked breasts. She sighed to herself, memories of the previous night came flashing back shortly, making her miss the brunette boy even more. Her heart yearned for him, thinking about the love and intimacy they shared. So the young woman made it her mission to find her other half. She swung her legs over the edge of their shared bed – her warm feet meeting the cold floor – and walked into her adjacent closet, fishing a fresh pair of panties out of the drawer. Forgoing putting on any more clothes, she went back into the bedroom and picked up the shirt her boyfriend wore yesterday and slipped it on. She tried to open the door as silent as possible, already hearing the faint sounds of a piano, and went to the top step of the staircase. From there the young woman could see her boyfriends bare back as he played the keys with his delicate fingers. Y/N noticed how the muscles of his back, moved with the rhythm he created, absolutely mesmerizing her. She couldn’t believe how such a beautiful man was truly hers and decided to watch him a little longer before making her way downstairs with the softest steps she could possibly muster as to not make him aware of her presence.

Charles Leclerc was up early. He didn’t understand why, as it was his weekend off and he had stayed up late the night before – he should be exhausted. Looking to his left, he saw his girlfriend and smiled at her sleeping form. His heart tugged at it’s strings at how filled it was with love for Y/N. His mind remembering the events of the night before. The look in her eyes gave her own love for him away, as he deeply stared into them while making sweet love to her. Their foreheads stuck together as they exchaged words of affection, some more dirty than others. For a second the young racing driver thought about waking the woman beside him up to take care of his now throbbing member but ultimately decided to not disturb her peaceful slumber. The brunette leaned over and gave his girlfriend a soft kiss on the forehead before he slowly, as careful as possible, sat up in bed and let out a yawn. He started to look for his boxers that should have been left somewhere in the room. When the Monégasque had found them he stood up and tip toed to the piece of clothing, which was laying by the bed post, and put it on. Before Charles left the room, he turned around once more and took one last look at the sleeping woman in their shared bed – half smiling at the sight – and made his way downstairs to work on his music.

Long arms snaked around his torso and a kiss was pressed to his neck. „Good morning, mon amour,“ his girlfriend whispered sweetly in his ear. If he didn’t know what music sounded like, he’d probably say this might have been it – the angelic voice of the woman he loved. Charles body automatically leaned back in her arms and he rested his head on her shoulder. „Morning, mon cœur.“ he smirked at her, squinting his eyes while he looked at her. She kissed his stubbly cheek, her left arm moved to lay over his exposed chest: „Why are you awake already? I’ve missed you.“ The older man shook his head slightly and he was able to smell his girlfriends hair: „Couldn’t sleep anymore I guess.“ Y/N hummed in response. „So you decided to leave me all alone and replaced me with your piano?“ She mumbled in her lovers neck and left a hickey. Charles hissed. „You found me after all, didn’t you? How about you join me?“ He slid to the left and patted the now free space on the bench. The woman behind him grinned and wrapped her fragile fingers around his firm chin, turning his head to look up at her. Their eyes met, completely enamoured with one another. Slowly both started to lean in until their lips finally touched for their first official good morning kiss on this early Sunday morning. The drivers hand moved to lay on her neck, deepening the kiss as both of them let out a sigh. He took it as his opportunity to slip his tongue between his girlfriends parted lips, making out with her some more, until she pushed him back slightly by his chin. „I thought you had asked if I wanted to join you?“ Y/N smirked at Charles and got the biggest smile out in response, showing off his beautiful teeth. „That I did!“ His opposite giggled and gave him on last kiss on the cheek.

She moved away from him and sat on the bench to his right hand side. Turning his head to look at her, he asked her: „Would you like to sing for me?“, knowing she had the most beautiful singing voice in the world (but don’t tell George he said that, he’d fight him for his life trying to defend Lewis). Her head now turned to look at him too: „I’d love that. Can I make a wish.“ Charles heart skipped a beat at her question and he stared at her as if she hung the moon, the sun and all of his stars. „You don’t even have to ask, you know I’d fulfill you all your wishes without a second thought.“ The young womans eyes got teary hearing those words from her lover of two years, knowing he loved her as much as she loved him. „Je vais t’aimer, mon beau.“ Her boyfriends wrinkled as his lips spread out into a smile: „Toi aussi, ma belle.“ „No, idiot, the song from ‚La famille Bélier‘.“ She laughed loudly, infecting the other Monégasque with it’s brightness and who soon joined her, shaking his head. „I knew that of course.“ Smirking, Y/N rolled her eyes, knowing full well he didn’t. Charles eyed her from the side and cleared his throat while cracking his knuckles, before his warm fingers touched the cold piano tiles again to form the opening notes oft he 1976 tune.

À faire pâlir tous les Marquis de Sade (To make all the Marquis de Sade pale)

À faire rougir les putains de la rade (To make the whores blush in the harbor)

À faire crier grâce à tous les échos (To be shouted through all the echoes)

À faire trembler les murs de Jéricho (To shake the walls of Jericho)

Je vais t′aimer (I will love you)

Y/N tried not to look at Charles while singing the all too familiar song but she couldn’t help it. He was just so gorgeous. The way his fingers moved across the tiles amazed her, watching his forearms flex while doing so. A simple yet so effective move, which – in a dangerous mix with the obscene lyrics coming out of her mouth - went straight down to her core.

À faire flamber des enfers dans tes yeux (To make hell blaze in your eyes)

À faire jurer tous les tonnerres de Dieu (To make all the thunders of God swear*)

À faire dresser tes seins et tous les Saints (To have your breasts and all the saints raise)

À faire prier et supplier nos mains, je vais t'aimer (To make us pray and beg our hands I will love you)

His cheeks reddened hearing her sing those lewd words which were meant to be for him only at this very moment. Her hand touched his biceps, moving up and down, and it sent cold shivers down his back straight to his dick. He loved sharing such intimate moments with her, just the two of them – sometimes they watched a movie, other times, like today, they made some music together – but as soon as her long fingers moved across his naked skin, he always knew he was gone for and there was only one way this would end. And she knew it too.

Je vais t′aimer comme on ne t'a jamais aimée (I’m going to love you like you’ve never been before)

Je vais t'aimer plus loin que tes rêves ont imaginé (I’m going to love you further than your dreams have imagined)

Je vais t′aimer, je vais t′aimer (I’m going to love you, I’m going to love you)

Je vais t'aimer comme personne n′a osé t'aimer (I will love you like no one has dared to love you)

Je vais t′aimer comme j'aurai tellement aimé être aimé (I will love you as I would have loved to be loved)

Je vais t′aimer, je vais t'aimer (I’m going to love you, I’m going to love you)

The young woman put her head on her boyfriends shoulder while singing, as she moved the hand – which was wrapped around his biceps – to the veins on his forearm and finally landing on his right thigh. Slowly she caressed the exposed skin, making the bulge in his underwear grow. The air between the two lovers became thicker with sexual tension second by second. Charles just really wanted to hear her sweet voice sing but now he was about to hear even better sounds coming out of her mouth and her teasing showed just how close she was to giving him herself all over again. And he loved every bit of it.

À faire vieillir, à faire blanchir la nuit (To age, to whiten the night)

À faire brûler la lumière jusqu'au jour (Burning the light until the day)

À la passion et jusqu′à la folie (To passion and to the point of madness)

Je vais t′aimer, je vais t'aimer d′amour (I will love you, I will love you with love)

À faire cerner, à faire fermer nos yeux (To be identified, to close our eyes)

À faire souffrir, à faire mourir nos corps (To make us suffer, to kill our bodies)

À faire voler nos âmes aux septièmes cieux (To make our bodies fly into seventh heaven)

À se croire morts et faire l'amour encore, je vais t′aimer (To think you’re dead and make love again, I’m going to love you)

The words sung perfectly described the love they shared for one another. They were each other light in the darkness of this world, especially Y/N for Charles. She was his anchor and saving grace whenever he had a bad race and she was there for him through it all – the ups and downs of racing ever since they had been kids, the deaths of his father and Jules, the travelling, the distance, the winning, the losing and everything in between. Everytime they had sex it felt like the very first time. And everytime they finished it felt like they had died and gone to heaven. He was excited to feel this way again and he knew she felt the same way. Their passion for one another almost exceeding the point of madness where they couldn’t go long without seeing, touching and talking to each other and not turning crazy about it. Charles and Y/N burned for each other- their love a blazing flame that never seemed to die – they were the bane of each others existence and the objects of all their desires and wildest dreams. For the last chorus the young woman let all of those feelings out and every word was meant only for her Monégasque lovers ears – the one man she ever wanted to spend her forever and beyond with.

Je vais t'aimer comme on ne t′a jamais aimée (I’m going to love you like you’ve never been loved)

Je vais t'aimer plus loin que tes rêves ont imaginé (I’m going to love you further than your dreams have imagined)

Je vais t'aimer, je vais t′aimer (I’m going to love you, I’m going to love you)

Je vais t′aimer comme personne n'a osé t′aimer (I will love you like no one has dared to love you)

Je vais t'aimer comme j′aurai tellement aimé être aimé (I will love you as I would have loved to be loved)

Je vais t'aimer, je vais t′aimer (I’m going to love you, I’m going to love you)

Charles fingers lingered on the piano, finishing the final note. They stayed silent for a little longer, letting the past few minutes catch up to them, the only sound being heard were their breaths that were in sync with each other – mirroring the rapid beating of their hearts. The woman moved her right hand from her boyfriends thigh and placed it upon his chest. „I love you, mon amour, thank you for letting me share this moment with you,“ she whispered in his ear and left a kiss right below it. The racing driver next to her turned slightly and put his hand on her cheek, his thumb caressing the warm skin. „Anytime again, ma belle.“ His dimples showed due to the soft smile that made it’s way to his face. And also his girlfriend couldn’t help but reach out for him, letting her hand linger on the side of his neck. The two of them knew what was about to happen, so Charles put his arm around Y/Ns waist, pulling her even closer (if that was possible) and their lips radiated towards each other, as if they were two magnets, finally reuniting in a breathtaking kiss.

When they broke apart, Y/N took the initiative and took her sweet time kissing down his body, leaving a few hickeys on the way – from his cheek, to his neck and his abs, until she ended up on her knees in front of the piano, facing Charles‘ crotch. Looking down on his girlfriend, he moaned her name: „Touches moi, s’il te plaît…“ Smirking at that, Y/N let her hands glid up his thigh. „Of course, baby boy, let me take care of you.“ Slowly she caressed his bulge while maintaining eye contact before dropping her head to leave some more kisses on his thighs. Then she moved her hand into his shorts and boxers to free his semi-hard dick. Charles shuddered when her cold fingers touched his warm dick and he bit his lip to keep in the moan he so badly wanted to let out. „Don’t hold back, baby, I wanna hear you. Show me how good I can make you feel.“ The girl encouraged him while stroking his hardening length. „Mon dieu…“, Charles whispered under his breath and threw his head back. At that she smirked and stuck out her tongue in order to lick a long stripe up the underside of her boyfriends dick, sucking on his tip where she left another kiss. The brunette driver locked eyes with his girlfriend who just swallowed his precum and continued to watch her as her mouth wrapped around his length again and went further and further to take him in fully. „Oh.“ His moan spurred her on and she started bobbing her head up and down, as her hand went to massage his balls. Charles so desperately wanted to keep focused on the woman in front of him but he ultimately lost control and fisted his hand in her hair, in order to form a makeshift ponytail and started pushing her head down on his dick harder. „Chérie - I’m gonna…“ His breathy voice got cut off by a groan he couldn’t hold back. As if his girlfriend could sense it, she had moaned on his dick and stroked his thick thighs, silently telling him to come in her mouth. A few seconds later Y/N heard Charles let out an especially loud moan and felt his sweet cum shoot down her throat. The young woman released his dick from her luscious lips with a loud „popp“ and opened her mouth to show Charles that she had swallowed it all. With hazy eyes he smirked down at his girlfriend and wrapped his hand around her chin, his thumb lightly stroking her cheek. „Good girl.“ He leaned down to leave a kiss on her forehead, then helped her stand on her two feet again. „Let me return the favor, amour.“

Charles stood up and deeply stared into his girlfriends eyes while slowly taking steps forward, backing her up into the piano. „Cha…“ Y/Ns voice was desperate and she closed her eyes as he reached out his hands. She waited for his touch, which never came. He closed the lid of the piano, then returned his attention to the smaller woman, his eyes so full of lust for her. His head bent down and he feverishly kissed her which she easily returned, their tongues exploring each others mouths, as if it was the first time they made out. The racing driver put his hands on her butt and softly kneaded the skin there, before leaving a slap on her right ass cheek, making her gasp loudly. „Jump.“ He said with his signature wink. Y/N did as she was told and wrapped her legs around his torso, as he sat her on top of the piano. „You look so good in my shirt. Much better than I ever did, ma jolie.“ His girlfriend giggled and his hands glid along her curves taking them all in. Charles kneeled down until his eyes were lined up with her ankles. He left the lightest kisses up her legs, alternating between the left and right one, while moving his hands up their sides. When his eyes were on the same level as her core he pulled her crotch closer to his face by her hips. „Ahh!“ A squeal left the girls lips as Charles took her by suprise. The latter laughed slighty. „Excuse-moi, Chérie.“ All was forgotten though when he kissed her cunt through her panties before he pulled them down. The excitement rose in his chest and he licked his lips, whereas his girlfriend felt a certain anticipation, wating for him to continue. Moving his face closer to her already dripping core he left a longing kiss on her clit, as his right hand came up to assist him – one of his fingers went in between her folds collecting her juices. „So wet for me already, bébé.“ He then wrapped his lips around his own finger, tasting her. „And so sweet.“ Y/N was in a state of pure bliss already, humming approvingly. „All for you, ma vie.“ Charles nodded. „Yes, all mine.“ The Monégasque started sucking on her clit again, acting as if his life essence is made up of the sweet sounds that escaped her throat. One of his fingers finally entered her, moving in and out in a steady rhythm that coordinated with the way his tongue moved along her clit. It felt as though she was his instrument: His fingers moved delicately inside of her, playing out a tune of moans mixing with the breathy calles of her name, truly showing his artistic skills aside from the piano. Two of his fingers were inside of her now, preparing the young woman for later, as he alternated between scissoring her hole and stroking her g-spot.

As Y/N felt her orgasm approach, her hands flew to her boyfriends fluffy hair, pulling on the loose curls. „Charlie, ne t’arrête pas!“ She moaned, feeling the tight knot in her lower stomach starting to loosen up. Spurred on by the soft massaging of her hands he moaned onto her clit. That was the last note missing in their steamy melody pulling the girl over the edge as she came with a loud scream of his name, squirting her juices into his mouth. He lapped at her lower lips, trying to collect all the juices he could get, before rising from his kneeling position. Her uneven breaths started to calm down again as she noticed the state of his chin through half-lidded eyes and let out a shaky laugh. „I’m so sorry, mon Chéri.“ Charles slightly leaned over her, moving his hand to her back, as he wrapped her right leg around his waist to pick her up and get her into a standing position in between him and the piano again. „No need to be sorry, mon ange. I enjoyed every second of it.“ At the second sentence his voice lowered an octave, accentuating every word into her ear. He nibbled on her earlobe moving down her neck, leaving a small hickey there. „Should we move this to the sofa for the big climax of our wonderful duet?“ He asked into her neck, knowing the couch was closer. „Yes, please.“ She breathed out, her head still thrown to the side, letting Charles have his access to her skin.

He took her hand in his and lead her to the other part of their living room. There, she regained some control when he turned around in order to kiss her, and she put her hand on his chest instead, pushing him back into the soft pillows. Charles smirked as he was under her spell once more. He patted his thighs and his girlfriend smiled, placing herself in her favorite seat, facing him. Once more the two lovers found themselves lost in each others eyes, before slowly leaning in, their lips meeting in a loving kiss, much softer than the ones before. Y/N moved her hands along his abs once more, moving over his bare chest to his toned shoulders. His own hands found their way to her wast, moving towards the hem of her – no, his – shirt, slowly lifting it above her head and throwing it somewhere behind him. The sudden cold air made her nipples harden, sending a shiver down her back. Charles smiled up at her – taking in all of her naked glory – and licked his lips in anticipation. His right hand moved to her breast, his lips latched around the other. „Ohh, Char…“ The young woman moaned and watched him suck on her tits. The fingers of his right hand fumbled with the small bud before he went to switch sides. Wanting to feel more of him, Y/N rubbed her body along his legs. Smirking, he removed himself from her boobs. „So impatient, ma jolie.“ His girlfriend laughed. „I mean, can you blame me? Everything about you turns me on immensly. Mon dieu, je t’aime tellement.“ The heat of her bare core meeting the cold skin of his thigh – he had already forgotten that her panties still layed somewhere by his piano – reminding him about the truthfulness of her statement. „Je t’aime aussi, mon cœur.“ The two stared lovingly at each other once more before the woman moved her hands down to the waistband of her boyfriends boxers – the only article of clothing left to separate their most intimate parts – and she couldn’t stand his advantage at all. „Take them off, baby.“ He smirked and tapped his hands on his girlfriends waist to signal her that she would have to get off him first. Y/N lifted her butt so that he could pull the garment down, letting them hang by his knees.

With his underwear out of the way, the woman above him slowly sunk down on his dick, stabilizing herself by putting her hands on his shoulders. At the feeling of Charles length entering her wet hole, they both let out long moans. „Putain!“ Y/N placed one of her hands on his cheek, making him look into her eyes – then she started to move. Slowly she lifted herself off him and sunk back down. The two lovers found a steady rhythm, their bodies creating a sweet melody once more. Charles hands wandered to his girlfriends ass, leaving a slap there before he kneaded the soft skin, soothing it in the process. His love let out a yelp and started to bounce on top of him faster. Her hands now rested on his waist, as she let her head fall to his neck, making her body lean on his. The new angle made both of them feel the movements more intensly – their breathy moans and husky groans filling the already sinful aria of skin slapping on skin to it’s full extent. „Chérie…“ the driver moaned into her ear, kissing his girlfriends shoulder. „Regarde-moi.“ Y/N lifted her head look at her boyfriend, who moved on of his hands to the back of her head, pulling her closer and locking their lips in a desperate and messy kiss. As they pulled away for air, both could feel their orgasms approaching. With his hand, Charles kept the woman close to him, the sweat on their foreheads mixing. „I’m so close.“ She deeply stared into his eyes, nodding frantically. „Moi aussi, Char.“ Then he steard to trust his hips up into hers, supporting her sloppier movements. Suddenly all the different components became too much for her to handle – from his hands on her body, his dick filling her wet core, to their erratic breaths conjoining in lazy, open-mouthed kisses - her body overstimulating as it reached it’s climax. The relieving wave washed over her and she came with a loud, high-pitched scream of her boyfriends name. Her walls clenched around his dick, sending Charles over the edge too, who let out a deep growl followed by a hitched cry of her nickname. The driver still held her body close as she collapsed on top of him and he started stroking her back in order to calm her down.

It felt like minutes before either of them moved again – the Monégasque just enjoying the feeling of her naked breasts on his skin, his partner listening to the sound of his beating heart. Charles even thought about taking her again, but that’s a thing that could wait until later. Right now, all he wanted to do was staying right here with her in his arms. But his girlfriend had other plans, as she was the first to sit up again. At the feeling of Charles dick still inside her both let out a groan, before laughing. „Merde, I almost forgot about that.“ Y/Ns hands caressed his cheeks as she dipped her head to leave a short but sweet kiss on his lips before she tried to lift herself off his length. She hissed at the feeling of the cold air of the living room hitting her warm entrance and noticed the way Charles cum dripped out of her hole. „Mmh, I love seeing that.“ The man in question stood up and pulled up his boxers before he stepped closer to his still very naked girlfriend again and held her close. „Can’t wait for when you don’t take the pill anymore. Gonna fill you up all nicely until you’re pregnant with our child, mon amour.“ He whispered seductively in her ear. The woman tried hard to keep her composure at his words, but the goosebumps on her skin gave her away. She wanted to have a child with him, as much as he wanted it, but only after they had gotten married. Leaving a last kiss on his lips before going off to search the shirt she was wearing earlier, she switched the topic while looking around the room with Charles following her around. „I’m starving, how about breakfast?“ Y/N smiled softly at Charles before putting on the piece of clothing, having found it laying behind the couch. „Oh yeah, let me help!“ The driver beamed as his girlfriend passed by the piano, picking up her panties, turning around afterwards to face her boyfriend – laughing at him. „Surely, ma vie, I’ll let you cut some veggies but that’s it, idiot.“ Charles jokingly rolled his eyes. „I’ll do anything, as long as it’s with you.“ She blushed at his words, softly hitting his chest with a wink. „Sweet.“ The two of them pulled back the curtains and opened the windows on the first floor of the apartment in order to let some fresh air in, before going to the kitchen to fix their brunch.

The two lovers spent the rest of their day cuddling on the couch, watching some movies and just enjoying each others company before ordering some takeout in the evening.

disclaimer: all work posted on here with this disclaimer was written by me. i do not consent this work to be published or translated on other sites than my own (@pastryleclerc on tumblr or wattpad). picture credits to their rightful owners

copyright: ©️ 2023 pastryleclerc on tumblr, all rights reserved

[annawritesblog]

Eyes off you (c.l.)

Summary: Y/n and Charles have been together for 2 years and Charles has a special surprise for her.

A/N: I wrote this a long time ago so if there’s any mistakes in it, feel free to tell me:) Also, English is not my first nor my second language so excuse my spelling and/or grammar errors. I recommend listening to the attached song as it plays in the background later in the story. Enjoy🤍

Charles' P.O.V.

Are you still at home? Came the message from Arthur.

Yes, we're leaving in 15 minutes, come in about 30. I wrote back.

I put my phone in the right pocket of my suit pants, the left being full with the red velvet box. I took a final look in the mirror and after a few quick breaths, Y/n appeared from the bathroom.

"I'm ready." She says and puts a lipgloss in her purse. Her purple dress showing her curves just right, like a princess.

"My God. You look absolutely stunning, chérie." I say and wrap my arms around her waist leaving little kisses in the crook of her neck.

"You don't look bad yourself." Smiles the girl I've been in love with for almost 2 years. "Stop." She warms as I still kiss her neck slowly moving down to her collarbone.

"Can't we just stay home?" I ask, but I realize that that would be the worst idea ever, considering that in less than 30 minutes my brothers will be here. "I mean, no. We should really go, hurry even."

She turns around and furrows her brows. "Everything okay?"

"Everything's wonderful, love." I grab her small hand and guide her out of the penthouse. After locking the door, we take the elevator to the underground parking house. Opening the door for her, she sits in the black Ferrari.

The ride is less than 15 minutes, but it feels so much more than that. She talks about how happy she is that we're going to this birthday party, but I can barely process anything she's saying. "Oh, I left my phone at home."

"Are you serious?" I ask and she nods worriedly. "I can't turn around."

"Why?"

"We're already late, Carlos will kill me if we make it there after Isa." I try to lie, hoping she doesn’t suspect anything.

"Okay, you're gonna have to take pictures then." She lets go easily.

A few minutes later we arrive at the beautiful venue in Monte Carlo. We walk inside, hand in hand and see that almost everybody is there.

"You were right. We really are late." She says and we giggle a little, just the two of us, our little private space.

"Sorry, mate. We're here." I half-hug Carlos, who just shrugs it off saying it's fine.

"Okay, okay. She's coming." Carlos tells us and when his missis arrives we all scream happy birthday to her.

Y/n and I spend a little time talking to Isa, but I excuse myself to another table where some strangers sit. I open the last texts from Arthur, saying that they have arrived about 10 minutes ago. I quickly text some informations, although I explained everything to them yesterday, but I want everything to be perfect, she deserves nothing less.

"Boo." Y/n says behind me, which does scare me. How long has she been staying there? Hopefully not long at all. "What are you doing?"

"Answering some texts from the team." I say and she gives me a dissapointed look. "I know and I am sorry, chérie. That was the first and last, I promise." I put my phone in my pocket and I kiss her hand sweetly. We walk to Carlos' table where he gives me a reassuring look.

"Y/n, come, you have to look at this." Isa grabs her arm and drags her away.

"How are you feeling, man?" The spaniard infront of me asks.

"Nervous."

"You don't have to be, she'll say yes." Carlos comes closer to me.

"What if she won't? Maybe she's not ready yet. We have been together for almost 2 years, that's soon, isn't it?" I go in full panick mode.

"What? It's not too soon, if you're ready, than nothing's too soon." He pats my shoulder. "They're coming." I look behind me and I see Y/n and Isa walking towards our table.

"Look what we found. Chocolate covered fruits, this is the best day of my life." Isa says with a full mouth and my missis just laughs next to her. I wrap my arm around her waist, securing her close to me.

About 2 hour later, after I got a text from my brothers saying they're done with everything, we decided to go home.

"Excuse me, I need to use the restroom." I whisper in Y/n's ear, letting her go from my embrace.

"Okay, I'll be here." I give her a peck on her cheek and walk towards the restrooms.

Kicking the door open with my feet, I rest my hands on the sink trying to catch my breath. I promised my brothers that I would call them before we start heading home. After 2 rings Lorenzo picks it up. "Hey, what's up?"

"We're just leaving. Everything ready?"

"Yes, everything's disgustingly perfect." My little brother yells and drops something.

"What was that?" I ask immediately.

"My phone, fuck."

Lorenzo sighs and says something to him that I don’t hear. "Are you okay?"

"Not really, shitting my pants right now." I sigh.

"You don't need to be scared. She's gonna say yes, I'm sure." My big brother says.

"One hundred percent. Who wouldn't wanna marry you?" Arthur laughs in the phone.

"Thank you?"

"I was trying to lighten the mood." Arthur says and I let out a little laugh.

"Listen. Do you remember the Australian GP? How nervous you were? For days, you couldn't think straight you were that scared and you ended up winning it. Think about this as a race. You're nervous before it, but the outcome will be perfect." Lorenzo says and I can sense that they're both smiling.

"Thanks, both of you. I owe you both."

"You don't owe us anything, this is what siblings are for." Arthur says and we hang up. I go back to the main room and after a few short goodbyes, we get in the car.

"It was so much fun!" Y/n exclaims and I put my hand on her thigh.

"Yes, it was." I agree.

Se turns her head my way as I start my car. "Where's your mind?" She tries to be cool about it, but I know she's worried.

"In Australia." I answer with a smile.

"Oh, really? What kind of mistresses do you have there?" She smirks and I slow down a bit. We can't be home, before they've left. For once I'll keep the speed limit in mind.

"One, only. I spent like a week there with her. She was wow, like she had a blue lingerie set that she wore after I won. That was something, kept me up all night." I smirk smuggly and my hand travels further up her thigh. She lets out a shaky breath and looks at me.

"Do you remember that?"

"I think I'll remember that forever." We stop at a red light. "Where's that set, anyway?"

"You might see it around this weekend." She looks out the window, clearly blushing.

"Then, I'll have to give my best in this race." My hand travels even more north on her, already feeling her warmth. Althought, this is not going anywhere for a little while.

"You better, mister."

"You already know I will."

"Mrs? I'm not married." She says followed by a few giggles. I messed this up.

We spend the rest of the car ride listening to music and talking about the party. By the time I park the car, I'm sure that my brothers are already home.

I take my keys out and try to put it in the keyhole, but it falls to the floor. I pick it up and place it in again, only for it to slip out of my hand again. "Merde." I curse as I pick it up from the floor.

"Okay, babe. What's wrong?" Y/n asks as I can finally open the goddamn door.

"Nothing is wrong, love. I drank too much coffee." By this time I'm sure she doesn't believe a word I'm saying, but I can't just tell her that I'm nervous she'll say no to marrying me. She'll found out soon anyway, I won't blow it at the last meters.

"We really have to stop drinking so much coffee it's not-" Her words are lost. She looks outside our balcony and slowly back to me. "What is this?" She starts walking towards the table full of her favourites.

I wrap my arms around her waist, while she wraps her hands around my neck. "You deserve it. You've been next to me, when I was at my worst, especially nowadays. Thank you, chérie."

I kiss her passionately and she fumbles with my hair.

"You didn't have to do this, Charles. I will always be there for you." She sits on one of the chairs and looks at the beautiful view of the city. I sit in front of her and start the light music from my phone.

"Oh my God. Macarons." She exclaims and pops one of them in her mouth.

"It's from the bakery you like so much." I say and just watch her face light up. I don't know if it's because of the lights or because I'm obsessed with her, but she's glowing. Just as beautiful as she was when I met her on the streets of Monte Carlo two summers ago. Walking up and down confusedly in her white sundress.

"What is it?" She asks looking deeply into my eyes

"I'm just so in love with you." I take her hand and rest it on top of the table. "That simple."

"You're gonna make me cry."

"Don't cry, baby." I lock our fingers together. "Let's dance instead." I guide her to the end of the balcony where there's space for us to dance. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her as close as I can and rest my forehead on hers. Eyes off you starts playing just in time. Just like I planned it would.

It's our song. It played in the restaurant I took her to on our first date, only knowing each other for 3 days, a few days later when we first kissed and I played it when I asked her to move in with me in Monaco. And now when I propose to her.

"Do you think about the future?" I ask her slowly swaying her to the music.

"I'm only thinking about the future." She giggle then adds: "But yes. Although it's pretty foggy, you are crystal clear." She says sweetly which makes my heart melt. How did I deserve her?

"Same here. You're light as the bright sunshine for me, angel. Always be with you." I lean in closer and whisper in her ear. "This song is gonna play at our wedding."

I can tell she doesn't know where to put this information, but she nods slowly. I step back from her and I can tell that she has realised what's happening. With shaky hands I take the velvet box out of my pocket and get on one knee. She covers her mouth with both of her hands and tears have already filled her eyes. "Chérie. You don't even know what you do to me. For almost two years now, you're the first thing on my mind when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep. I have never even dreamed that I would end up next to someone as perfect as you are." She now covers her whole face with her palms and silent sobs leave her mouth. "Look at me, angel." She looks at me and I can already feel my eyes watering. "No matter what happens, you will always have me, I promise you. I promise to give you everything your heart desires, everything you need. So, my love, will you make me the happiest man ever and marry me?" I open the small box revealing the rare diamond ring.

"Yes, yes. A thousand times yes, Charles." She says and I hug her closely. We only part for the few seconds it takes to put the ring on her finger. Without hesitation, she kisses me and I caress her cheeks with my hands. A few minutes later we pull away and I wipe away tears from her cheeks.

"Don't cry." I say.

"You're crying too. It's allowed." She laughs which makes me too.

"Look at you, already acting like a wife." I pull her close yet again and breath in her scent. My fiancee's scent.

[whalyrae]

THE OLD GUARD - CHAPTER 3

"We don’t get a say on how it ends, we never have. But we can control how we live."

Summary : You are a powerful witch, cursed and hurt through ages. Owner of your esoteric shop, you were resigned to live this lonely life when the powerful magic of soulmates and fate came to you.

Pairing : poly BTS x reader (she/her)

Genre : soulmate au, demons bts au, witch y/n au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, polyamory relationships

Status : In process

Word Count : 4.5K

Warnings : eventual smut, angst, mention of depression, death, suicide, past trauma, violence, blood, past (sexual) abuse, past torture, PTSD, scars, self harm, and more.

Tag list : @blackrockshooter780 @babyymeme @starrlo0ver @suckerforv @mushroom-main @m1sss1mp @prettydancingdamzel @i-have-no-life-charlie @avadakadabra93 @veronawrites @kawaiikpoplover268 @didi-9310 @ghostlyworld @carolinexkpop @gooooomz @00ihatesnaku

A/N : HEY YO I'M BACK !! Okay, I'm really sorry it took so long to publish the chapter... my exams, and after that I took a long rest because I travel in Spain and then in Paris during a whole month ! So as an apologize, this chapter is hella long I think it's the longest I've ever wrote in my life jfdkljgfk... I hope you'll like it !

Feel free to comment or send me a message (anonymously or not!) and give me your reactions, your impressions, your questions… I don't mind at all, on the contrary!

In the next chapters, there will be revelations, and answers to questions hehe so please don't hate me too much…!

A BIG THANK YOU again for all these views, I thought that by being absent for so long, my writings would be forgotten … but not at all!

Enjoy your reading, and thanks again, take care, I love you ♥

OH BY THE WAY !! I made a spotify playlist ! If you have any songs who made you think about the story, you can share it to me and I'll add it on the playlist !

Here is the link : The Old Guard Playlist

ps : sorry for the mistakes, it's already 1am here, but I really REALLY need to post something..... ENJOY :D

Masterlist | ao3 | wattpad

Chapter 2 // Chapter 4

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

“I did it! I beat Ganon! Did you see, Jimin ?”

Jungkook put down his controller next to him on the couch, raising his arms with a big smile. Beside him, Jimin didn't seem to pay attention to him. His eyes focused on his cell phone. 

Jungkook frowned, and turned to Taehyung, sitting on his right. 

"Taehyung, Taehyung! Look!!!"

But he noticed that Taehyung also seemed lost in thought and was not paying any attention to him. 

Jungkook puffed out his cheeks, a pout on his face. 

"Hyungs! What's going on?”

“Do you know where Yoongi is? " 

Taehyung's question surprised Jungkook. He arched an eyebrow and thought for a few seconds. 

He knew that Namjoon and Hoseok had gone to the public library for some research, but he couldn't remember which. Jin had gone to the grocery store. 

And Yoongi... well, he didn't remember seeing him or even remembering him leaving the apartment. 

"He's been missing for a while, he doesn't answer when I try to call him..." Jimin sighed as he threw his phone down next to him. 

They remained silent for a few seconds, while the game on the television continued to play its cinematic. 

Jungkook turned his head and noticed that the window was slightly open. He pointed at it with his chin to his partners. 

The three demons then glanced at each other. They figured it out. They knew where Yoongi had gone.  

"You think he went..." began Jungkook. 

"I wouldn't even be surprised, he was very quiet yesterday after Namjoon’s explanations." Jimin continued.

And they all knew that at those times, it meant that Yoongi had something on his mind. And when he did, he became the most stubborn person alive. Nothing and no one could make him change his mind. 

"That guy... Ah, when he gets home, he'll hear me." Taehyung sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

Jungkook jumped to his feet. 

"Are you going to wait quietly for him to come back?" He asked, crossing his arms before straightening up from the couch. "Because I'm not. We've been waiting for this moment for way too long." 

°°°

Yoongi was… well she couldn’t describe him. His voice was sweet, his little vibrato always made her body shiver a little. Besides, he was so kind, so gentle, she had never seen so much tenderness in a gaze that was destined to her. 

Well, of course, there was Jin. But that was so, so long ago. 

She bit her lower lip nervously. Thinking about him made her heart ache. She was close to him like she never was since the two of them were separated, yet so far at the same time. She still hadn't thought about how she would manage it. She'd never figured out how to get his memory back, and she’d never found him at all to try anything though. 

At first, she had planned to spend the afternoon with her books, researching curses, spells, or some kind of memory-related magic. She wanted to have some sort of plan before she tried any approach with her soulmates. 

But it seems that one of them decided otherwise. 

Yoongi never took his eyes off her. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts for some reason, probably his visit disturbed her. 

He couldn't read her mind, she was probably powerful enough to block her mind to telepaths, as he and his demon boyfriends were. His admiration for her only grew stronger and stronger. 

He wanted to know what was happening in her head, what seemed to be troubling her. 

From the moment he saw her through her shop window in his cat form, busy watering her plants when he saw the lines on her face when he realized he was standing in front of his last soulmate, the world stopped in front of him for a moment. 

Just as he felt when he met Namjoon, Jin, Hoseok, Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. That feeling of being face to face with someone he'd known all his life, even though he'd never spoken to them, someone who completed him, who finally made him feel whole and fulfilled. 

A soul mate, pure and simple. 

She felt the same way. Like the day before with Namjoon, and when she was with Jin before they separated. However, she wasn't used to experiencing... so many positive feelings and emotions like that.  

She'd also thought that Namjoon would never talk about her or want to see her again. 

Apparently, she was wrong. 

She fidgeted nervously with her fingers, keeping a certain distance between them. She wanted to ask Yoongi where the others lived, to meet them, and finally see Jin again after all these years.

But the problem was that Jin didn't remember her. And when Namjoon, Yoongi, and the others hear about what happened, they probably wouldn't want anything more to do with her. And that was what she was afraid of. 

The pain of losing a soul mate is a sharp pain, like having her heart ripped out, without any anesthetic, raw. 

She met people who had been rejected by their soulmates, or who had experienced the death of their soulmates. They were a shadow of their former selves, and remained so for the rest of their lives, until their last breath. Most of the time, they ended up taking their own lives, the latter being a gentler and more bearable solution than living without one or both halves. 

She'd been through it once, with Seokjin. If she hadn't been immortal, she wouldn't have survived it. 

"I don't know what's been going through your head, or what you've been going through all these years alone," Yoongi began, taking a step towards her, "but it's all over now. I mean, you're not alone anymore, not now that we've found you. You should have seen Namjoon when he came home yesterday, I haven't seen him this excited since we met Jungkook decades ago." He let out a chuckle. 

She looked up at him, he was close to her, very close. 

If he knew, he wouldn't say that. Even though she couldn't deny that those words warmed her whole being without really controlling it. So, Namjoon was happy to meet her? Were they all? 

"You really thought Namjoon wouldn't tell us about you and we wouldn't want you?" He asked, tilting his head to one side. 

"Honestly, yes." she admitted with a shrug, smiling shyly, "I'm... old, very old, I spent several centuries alone, never finding my soulmates so... I always told myself that they weren't looking for me, or simply didn't want me."

And the only one I ever knew, I lost him, she thought.

"Oh, sweetheart," he murmured, his deep, soft voice making her shiver, "I'm sorry it took me so long to find you, we all are, believe me."

He raised his hand, without hesitation, to place it gently on her cheek. Normally, she wasn’t the most comfortable with physical touch, but strangely, she hadn't flinched, she hadn't moved. The warmth of Yoongi's hand against her skin felt good and soothing in a way she couldn't describe a comfort she hadn't felt... for ages. 

She surprised herself leaning slightly against it, even closing her eyes when he started to rub softly her cheek with his thumb. 

She opened her lips to reply but heard something behind Yoongi that made her take a step back. She heard the bell of her shop signifying that someone was entering.

"I knew it!" she heard a deep voice approach them, "I knew you wouldn't listen to Namjoon hyung!"

She tilted her head as Yoongi turned his, not disturbed by the interruption. She was surprised to find herself facing three new people. She didn't need to ask who they were, nor she didn't need to ask Yoongi who these three beautiful and handsome men standing in front of her were. 

When her eyes met those of the smallest of the three, while the other two were talking to Yoongi, she didn't even know about what because she wasn't paying any attention. Her gaze was completely absorbed by this pink-haired person standing a few meters away from her. She was feeling for the second time today what she had felt earlier with Yoongi.

These three people were part of their bond. They were their soulmates too. 

One of the other two noticed the smaller boy's attitude and turned toward him. 

"Jimin, are you..." he began, turning his head to follow his gaze, "Okay..."

His voice trailed off when he saw her.

She didn't know what to say or do, she could feel four pairs of eyes on her now. 

She noticed a smile tugging at the corner of Yoongi's lips and she bites her own nervously. 

He knew that the maknaes would notice his absence, and would quickly realize where he was and, most importantly, that they would come to her. 

"Are you..." the smaller one, Jimin, whispered in a trembling voice, taking a step towards her. 

"Yes... Yes, I am." she replied, looking away, "It's a pleasure to meet y-ah...!"

She hadn't had time to finish her sentence when she felt a pair of arms around her waist and a body pressing against hers. She looked down, surprised to see a pink ball, slightly trembling. 

"We've been waiting for you for so long..." he murmured shakily. 

She felt her head spin slightly under all these new sensations, not so new, but ones she hadn't felt for ages. It was as if she was rediscovering them.

She didn't know how to react and didn't have time to think about it when she felt two new pairs of arms around her waist. 

"Jimin, don't monopolize her yet!" a young man with blue hair sulked, "Ah, I can't tell you how happy I am to finally meet you... Can I call you Noona?"

She didn't know what to say and didn't have time to think about it either.

"Noona," the tallest of the three murmured as he hugged her a little tighter, "I can't believe I can finally hold you... You’re real...!"

She was surprised to see Jimin sobbing quietly in her arms. She looked up, utterly confused, and searched for Yoongi, who was standing not far from her, his hand resting on Jimin's back, stroking him affectionately as he looked at her. He gave her a gentle smile and shrugged. 

"They are our maknaes, Jimin," he pointed to the pink-haired one, "Taehyung," he pointed to the blue-haired one, "and Jugkook, the youngest." He finished by pointing to the last one, who was looking at her with shining eyes.

“Noona, you’re so gorgeous,” Jungkook said, making her blush furiously. 

“Kook’… you're making her uncomfortable," Yoongi grumbled as he brought his hand up to stroke Jimin's hair. 

"I'm not... thank you..." she smiled as she saw Jungkook's face light up, then looked down at Jimin, "Is he all right?" she asked, worried to see him in such a state. 

"Don't worry about him," Taehyung caught her eye and gave her a big smile, "he's very sensitive and just happy to finally find you."

"And we've been waiting for you... "Jungkook continued before letting out a shy little laugh, "Ah, you must have heard it lots of times since yesterday but... It's true... we've been looking for you for years, without success..."

"We've all always had that hole in our hearts..." Jimin spoke again, raising his head, his eyes bright and slightly red, "It was painful sometimes when all that was missing for us was you, I don't even want to imagine how you must have felt without any of us..."

She didn't even notice that tears had started to fall as they spoke. She wasn't the kind of person who cried easily, far from it. But in less than two days, this was already the second time it had happened.

She didn't know why she was so moved by their words, perhaps because they were the people she'd been looking for all her long life, never finding, thinking they didn't want her, which turned out to be wrong. 

She could feel the deep empathy in their words because they'd been through the same thing as her - less so because they were all together - she felt understood by the people who were meant for her, and that feeling was indescribable. 

Noticing her tears, the three maknaes backed away slightly but stayed close to her. 

"Noona I... we're sorry if we said something hurtful..." murmured Jimin nervously. 

"No, I'm the one who's sorry," she replied, shaking her head, "I'm just... I don't know, it all seems so unrealistic..."

And it still was. Knowing that she found her soulmates, that Jin was only a few miles away... After all those years of loneliness, of feeling guilty, of secretly envying the people who crossed her path, happy with their soul mates...

She thought back to Minji's words, yesterday’s evening in their apartment...

« You deserve it more than anyone else. You spent your whole life helping anyone who asks for help, sacrificing your life more than once - literally - for the helping and saving. You deserve to be happy, with those who are destined for you. »

The thought of those words made her tears double. Because after all these years, centuries even, in darkness, the light was finally coming to her, the hope of a more bearable and less lonely eternity was growing inside her.  

“Hey, sweetheart, please don’t cry,” Yoongi’s sweet voice brought her out of her thoughts, “You’re prettier when you smile.” 

She blinked several times and looked at each of the people around her. 

There they were, her soul mates. 

“Ah, I think Namjoon hyung and Hoseok hyung are back home," suddenly muttered Taehyung, who had his phone in his hand, "They want to know where we are..."

"I think we're in a bit of a mess..." chuckled Jungkook, resting his cheek against her shoulder. "Oh, you don't know Hobi hyung yet!"

"Same for Jin, I think we're going to have a bad time when we get home... they're going to be even more jealous!" added Jimin with a small smile.

Her eyes had widened when he'd mentioned Jin's name. He was with them. There was no doubt about it now. The confirmation twisted her stomach slightly with anticipation and excitement. 

Jin was alive. He was in the same town as her after... over five hundred years apart. She didn't know how to deal with it all, again, it all seemed so unrealistic. She felt like she was in a dream, that she'd wake up sooner or later, and that everything she was experiencing now was an illusion. 

If this was indeed a dream, she hoped she'd never wake up.

"I have an idea! Why don't you come with us?"

She lowered her head at Jimin's question. This was something she hadn't expected. 

"So you can meet them too and see Namjoon again! Good idea, Minnie!" Taehyung came and hugged his partner, kissing his cheek affectionately. 

Jimin giggled in Taehyung's arms, making her smile. But the idea of finding herself in the same room as not just one, but all her soul mates. Seeing Jin again, without the certainty that he'd regained his memory... If they found out the truth, what had happened, she'd lose them for sure.

Selfishly, she didn't want that to happen. She wanted to see Jin again, of course. It was all she could think about, constantly, ever since they both split up. But the risk was too big now. She wanted to come to him with a plan, a way of getting his memory back if he hadn't. She owed him that.

"I know we're all more than happy to find her finally," Yoongi began, "but our beautiful soulmate can't just walk away from her business, can she?"

"But Yoongi hyung... I don't want to leave her..." pouted Jungkook, rubbing his cheek against her shoulder.

"I know Kookie, me neither," Yoongi sighed softly, understanding with Jungkook because he too didn't want to part with her, "but I think she needs some time to herself, to get over her emotions, am I right?"

He looked at her, his lips stretching slightly into a thin smile. She could see in his eyes that he wasn't reproaching her and that he was also prepared to stay if she asked him to. Every one of them was ready to go and get the moon for her if she asked them to.

"I understand... it must have been a lot of emotions for you..." Taehyung sighed sadly as he pulled away from Jimin, "So can we give you our phone number? And we'll give you our address too!"

"Good idea!" Jimin exclaimed and snapped his fingers to summon a piece of paper and a pen, " So you can come and see us whenever you like! Usually, there's always someone at home, but if there isn't, we'll give you the code, and you can just make yourself at home and wait for us!"

"Deal," she replied as Jimin wrote their numbers and addresses on the sheet of paper, "and you, feel free to come here, whenever you like, my apartment's upstairs, but I suppose you already know that..."

"What was I saying, she's extremely intelligent, our soulmate, as well as being beautiful," Yoongi smirked, making her blush.

"Aaah, I don't want to leave you, Noona..." Jungkook whined, grabbing her arm, "You smell so good too..."

YoShe u held back a smile, feeling a slight pinch in her heart.

She didn't want them to leave either.

°°°

“You did what ?!”

Sitting on the sofa, Yoongi chuckled as the three maknae shrugged their shoulders at Hoseok, Seokjin, and Namjoon. Namjoon had his arms crossed against his chest, his eyebrows furrowed, while his two companions beside him looked desperate but amused at the same time. 

"You're incapable of listening to a tiny indication, are you..." Namjoon blurted out accusingly, "I hope you haven't scared her..."

"Knowing these three," began Hoseok, addressing the maknae, "they would have been able to jump on her..."

Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook glanced at each other. Without needing to reply, Jin's eyes widened. 

"You jumped on her..." It wasn't a question, but a statement. 

"I... I wouldn't go to the extreme of using the word jump Jin hyung..." defended Jungkook with a pout, "and then... it was Jimin who clung to her first and cried like a baby !"

The said Jimin turned to his boyfriend, outraged and betrayed. 

"At least I didn't make her feel uncomfortable by showering her with compliments! "Oh noona, you're so beautiful, you're so intelligent noona!" cried Jimin, pointing his finger at Jungkook, who was frowning, and Yoongi, who wasn't paying any attention to the conversation.

Hoseok and Jin couldn't help laughing as they watched their younger partners bickering, while Namjoon rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He should have known that his partners wouldn't listen to him and would go and find her the second his back was turned. He wasn't that angry with them, he understood them. From the second they'd said goodbye the day before, all he could think about was seeing her again. Yoongi was the most stubborn and obstinate of them all, and if the maknaes were by nature very impatient, he was even more so. 

He couldn't blame them, she was their soul mate just as she was his. And even if a reason they didn't know existed had darkened her heart and saddened her soul, she could not want to have something to do with them. She just couldn't. 

His four companions had only listened to their hearts.

"Did it at least go well?" finally asked Hoseok, who had settled on the floor, facing the maknaes, "how is she?"

"She's incredible hyung!" exclaimed Taehyung, "She's beautiful and her voice is so sweet..."

"Aaah, I miss her," Jimin added as he dropped onto Taehyung, "we shouldn't have left..." 

Hoseok chuckled and turned to Jin. 

"That means we're the last ones who didn't meet her, ah, that's not fair... Jin, are you all right?"

They all turned to the older man who had sat on the edge of the large sofa. He was staring into space, his face disfigured by pain. 

Yoongi was the first to react and got up to approach his elder. 

"Hyung, is it the same as yesterday?"

Jin took his head in his hands, nodding. He didn't understand why these violent migraines were suddenly coming to him, and more importantly, why he was now having these flashes and memories that weren't his own. 

Or were they? He had no memory of living in a human village with a hill and a big oak tree. And who was this person he was with? He couldn't see their face correctly, it was blurred, like everything that had happened since yesterday. 

"What's wrong with him, Yoongi?" asked Namjoon, concerned. 

"He's never been like this..." Jungkook sat down next to him, also worried.  

Yoongi told them about yesterday's episode in the kitchen, which made Jin wince, not wanting to bother them with it. 

"It's nothing," Jin muttered after a few seconds massaging his temples, "It's just tiredness I guess."

He wouldn't talk about the memories flooding his mind. He didn't want to worry them anymore. He'd look for the answers himself. 

"Hyung you've been very tired before, you've never had this kind of response..." replied Jimin who had gone into the kitchen to get him a glass of water. 

"He's right, maybe it's a problem with your powers? Or... argh, I don't know." Taehyung grumbled in frustration. 

"It'll be fine," Jin reassured him with a small smile, "I'll get some rest, and everything will be better tomorrow. But I will remember that you met our soulmate and Hobi and I are the only ones who don't know her."

He chuckled when he saw the innocent looks on the maknae’s faces and ruffled Yoongi's hair to reassure him. 

"If it happens again, you won't be able to escape," Yoongi replied simply, rising to his feet. 

He said nothing, but when his gaze met Namjoon's, the two demons understood each other. Jin's condition coincided strangely with the meeting of their last soulmate.

Pure coïncidence? Or was there a link between her and Jin's condition?

°°°

Every day there was an outdoor market in Seoul. She used to go there regularly to find various types of plants for her potions, spells, and other magical preparations. But also, fruit and vegetables for her personal use.

This time, Handong has decided to come with her. She closed her shop for the morning and set off in the early hours. 

She looked up at the sky and spotted the moon, gradually disappearing to make way for the sun. The full moon was for tonight. 

She knew that the moon was a very powerful force for witches. It was also that moment when she recharged her crystals and prepared her moon water for the month. 

But above all, the full moon influenced her powers. It was the best time to cast powerful spells and make sure they worked. It was therefore the perfect opportunity to find any spell that would help Jin recover his memory. 

The day before, after Yoongi, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin had left, and after spending a good hour recovering from her emotions, she went back to combing through every magic book and grimoire she owned, whether in the bookshop or her personal library.

She hadn't found anything very conclusive. All the chapters on memory magic had one thing in common: the spells, their effects, and their duration always depended on who was casting them and who was being affected by them. 

The spell cast on Jin could have disappeared, just as it could still be present. She could only know this by seeing him and talking to him. But even that was a tricky thing to do. 

"Is everything all right, sweetie?" Handong asked in a soft voice, after noticing that she’d been quiet for a while now. 

"Hm?" she turned her head towards her, before smiling and nodding, "Yes, of course! sorry I... I was thinking about my research last night."

"Don't apologize," Handong smiled at her, "It's perfectly understandable. Don't hesitate if you need advice, I'm not a specialist, but I'll gladly give you my opinion."

She nodded again and explained what she’d found. Her different ideas, but they all came down to a single point. She had to see Jin to find out about his condition and memory. And that was where she was stuck. 

During her explanations and conversation, she had arrived at the market, and without stopping to talk, she looked at the different stalls, buying some fruit and vegetables from old ladies. 

In the distance, she notices a stall selling papaya. She hadn't seen or eaten papaya for a long time. It was also Jin's favorite fruit. 

Handong was busy with a merchant, so she waved back and headed towards the stall. She greeted the old woman manning the stall and looked carefully at the fruit on display. 

As she reached out to take one, she saw an arm in her field of vision landing on the same papaya as her. Surprised, she turned her head mechanically to see who it was, before freezing, her eyes wide. 

No, it couldn't be true. 

She had to be hallucinating, it couldn't... be him. 

And yet she could recognize that face, those features above all others.

Jin. 

Kim Seokjin was standing in front of her. 

°°°

"By the way hyung, why were you and Joonie at the library yesterday?" 

Jimin was currently sitting on a stool, watching Hoseok who was busy preparing lunch while Jin was away. 

"Namjoon wanted to research our soulmate," he explained as he chopped some onions, "At first I didn't understand why honestly, but you know, over time, you and I know very well that Namjoon's instincts are never wrong."

"Does that mean you've found something?" exclaimed Jimin, suddenly straightening up. 

Hoseok nodded, now working on dicing the vegetables. What they had found in the library... he could still hardly believe it. 

Should he tell Jimin? Or should he wait until they are all together to share the results of their research? 

He didn't have time to think about it any longer. He heard a loud knock, startling Jimin. It wasn't long before Yoongi and Jungkook emerged from their room, also startled. 

"What's going on here?" Asked the older one, "I don't suppose we were expecting company?"

"Maybe it's Jin who's back and his arms are too full to open the door!" Jungkook added, tilting his head to one side. I'll get the door!"

He trotted to the door, dressed in a long sweatshirt belonging to Namjoon, who was still asleep in the room, just like Taehyung. 

He opened the door with a big smile on his face. 

"Hi! What took you so long Jin hyun..."

He didn't finish his sentence. His voice faded as he saw what was standing in front of him. At his silence, Yoongi and Jimin joined him, themselves freezing in front of what was in front of them. 

Y/n was standing in front of them, totally panicked, out of breath, and sweating. 

But she wasn’t alone. 

"Help me... please..." she begged, her voice breaking. They could see she was holding back tears. 

She was supporting Jin, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. A completely unconscious Jin. 

[the-s1lly-corner]

I very much loved what you wrote for my ask makes me happy in my tummy.

Here's another ask hope it's not a lot for you how about a reader who's looks like those circus carousel horses, Being all pretty and sparkly with the TADC crew or just caine if you want light work!

♡Sleep well♡

U(•ㅅ•)U

TADC cast x reader who is a carousel horse!

that post sillyness (meltdown) slump is really hitting, but i feel bad for not answering requests yesterday... think i might answer one or two today, and perhaps write some stuff for myself in between doing the stuff i need to get done today apolocheese if this is a little shorter than usual </3 admin is still a lil WAAAAAAA and theyre on a time crunch (writing on computer today, but it needs to restart soon for an update)

CAINE:

oh i just know hes going to be going crazy over this, its not often that you get circus themed members around in the digital circus, so hes so hyped to have someone who can at least somewhat fit into that (admin must admit, they know next to nothing about carousels). probably makes themed IHA based around you and your whole thing; whatever that might mean... if youre shiny and/or reflective i just know hes going to pretend to check himself out in your reflections, does it usually to get a laugh out of you if youre having a bad day. gives you loads of new accessories and such

POMNI:

very shiny very pretty. i think pomni would like shiny things, but that might be self projection. kind of looks at you with that huge eyed look she got when she saw her door and/or her reflection in the pilot. looks but doesnt touch because she doesnt want to breach any boundaries. you can easily carry her, probably. shes tiny... though you will have to ask her and warn her before you just decide to pick her up since i dont think she would be cool with you just treating her like some house cat (snorts). subconsciously messes with your hair/mane when you two are hugging/snuggling each other

RAGATHA:

makes her own accessories to give to you. she thinks youre really pretty! very well crafted stuff, me thinks. offers to do your hair and tail (if you have one) every now and then! perhaps even offers to polish you up in hard to reach spots such as your back! generally very nice and lets you know that she thinks youre pretty... bonus if you have some sort of music ambience that plays around you most of the time that tends to reflect your mood, she ends up using that as a little indicator of how youre feeling.... perhaps you two slow dance together to one of your songs.... ponders

JAX:

originally i was going to say he jokes about wanting to ride you but then i realized how that sounded and i am not about that life (i say as i still put it in the post because it aint that serious) but you know, because youre a horse? but also while i was writing caines part, i mention that he checks his reflection if youre... well reflective... i feel like jax would do the same thing, but be more obnoxious about it... like im talking hes fully leaning into it, cleaning the gaps in between his teeth, slicking his ears back. the works, you know? probably snags your ribbons and such every now and then so youre forced to talk to him, he thinks its funny even if its kind of a dick move, but its.. jax, are we really surprised?

KINGER:

similar to pomni i can kind of see kinger also liking shiny stuff but i think this time its just the admin self projecting. probably collects little trinkets he finds that remind him of you and gifts them to you. pretty combs, ribbons, rocks, ect. i think its sweet, basically saying "hey, i thought about you!" you know? sometimes you let him stroke your hair when hes stressed out, works like a charm. revisiting the musical ambience idea, you tend to play the general music that plays during carousel rides, but every now and then it turns into a softer and calmer tune, and that does wonders for kinger after a long and hard day... shrugs

ZOOBLE:

as mean as it sounds you are kind of the opposite of the things like find interest in, since admin hcs that zooble is into the macabre and spooky, you know? but thats not to say that they dont like you! quite the contrary, actually! they have an understanding that you didnt choose this body.. thinks... ooo imagine how funny it would be if youre this really pretty horse with pretty music but you share the same interests as them... i dont now i always liked that trope. cute/innocent character being into scary stuff, intimidating/unconventionally cute character being into sweet and cute stuff.. thinks... sometimes helps you style yourself if youre interested in a new look

GANGLE:

also thinks youre very pretty! probably has made drawings of you and gifted them to you! sometimes redoes the ribbons you wear in your hair and as accessories. very good at making bows and such! might even sometimes help you with your makeup, if you wear any + if its able to be taken off... since, you know... digital bodies and stuff... hmm.. not many thoughts for gangle, at least not any unique ones that havent been said already in general/in this post... apologies gangle nation admin just struggles to write her

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Hello I was tagged by a lot of people for wip Wednesday thank you @devirnis @rogerzsteven @wildlife4life @rewritetheending @homerforsure @jeeyuns! Now. Are you all going to kill me with hammers if I say that when I sat down this morning to work on literally any of the many wips I have open, I instead wrote a short drabble set in the future of ER nurse Eddie au? Well. Here you go!

Warnings for alcohol and some mostly glossed over nsfw content

Was listening to this song on repeat while writing

"Your sister isn't, like, a secret Olympian is she?"

"Well, if it's secret enough, why would I know? Thank you." That second part Eddie aims at Adriana as she hands him a drink. He assumes she's not the athlete in question. "Why?"

"There's nets a little down the way, I asked if she wanted to play some volleyball and she got, like, this look on her face."

Eddie very carefully tries not to also get a look on his face, and somewhere to his left Adriana stirs the margarita mix a little harder to mask a tiny laugh. "Oh. Well I'm sure that's fine."

Buck smiles at him in a studious sort of way, tongue in the side of his mouth. "Now, I wouldn't be getting tricked in some way, would I?"

"Mm?" Eddie responds, neutrally.

"Or, perhaps, fooled?"

"Hm." He takes a sip of his drink.

Buck steps closer, looming over him, grin growing into something wide and conspiratorial. “Hoodwinked, maybe?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eddie says, aiming for lofty but landing somewhere around embarrassingly giddy as Buck kisses him once, twice. “No all state varsity girls softball champions in my family. Sophia has never in her life accidentally broken anybody’s arm with how fast her spike is.”

“Jesus,” Buck laughs, puffs of air against Eddie’s skin. “You’re just gonna let me go out there and face possible bodily harm?”

“Her aim has improved.”

He laughs, and pulls Eddie in for another kiss. There's sand in Buck's hair, but there aren't many places sand isn't in this Air BNB up the coast with a backyard that opens right onto the dunes. They'd only got there yesterday and already the grit is under Eddie's nails, dragged across his skin, in his clothes and bedsheets. It’s an abrasive sort of dirtiness that Eddie doesn’t really mind, he feels like he’ll come home at the end of the weekend scrubbed clean by it, but he’d wondered, worried, that being so close to the beach for so long might make old fears rise up in Chris or Buck. They’d both tossed themselves right into the waves with the cousins all day long, though, and had gone out to do so again today, and it was only very late at night that Buck admitted in a whisper that it’s not the feeling of the water or the sand, but the endless roar of the tide when the rest of the world was quiet that left him feeling helpless and awake. Eddie had reached out for his hand, and they’d fucked slowly and silently, surrounded by thin walls in a house full of people, and the heady thrill of restraint had his hands and legs and everything shaking by the time he’d come. Buck — and Eddie is not not smug about this — had slept soundly the rest of the night.

Anyway. They kiss in the kitchen until Adriana stirs the pitcher with even louder, more pointed clanging. Buck pulls back first. “You wanna come play on my team?”

“No,” Eddie says, making a face that has Buck laughing again. “I’m staying in the shade and drinking margaritas.” He clanks the ice around his beverage in demonstration.

“Great plan,” Buck says, stealing a small sip. Eddie feels like he should say something about sobriety and childcare, but they’re on vacation and Sophia is out there and responsibly dry even if she may or may not be planning sports related manslaughter.

“I’ll meet you out there later.”

“Okay,” Bucks says, kissing his cheek. “I was a lifeguard for a few weeks once, so if you get really drunk and fall in the sea I’ll come fish you out.”

“My hero,” Eddie salutes him with the glass. Buck is several feet away into the sand when Eddie blinks and calls out. “Hey- wait, Buck! Wait!” Eddie grabs the sunscreen off the counter and follows a few feet off the porch. “Mi vida, wait,” he laughs the words as Buck skids to a clumsy turn and stumbles back to him. Eddie holds up the sunscreen. “Come on, don’t get lobstered, I won’t rub aloe on you later.”

Buck takes the bottle and applies a quick but generous layer. “I think you would,” he says quietly, voice and mouth curved all sly.

“Mm,” Eddie says again, neutrally, making steady eye contact as he accepts the bottle back and takes a sip of his drink slow enough that the alcohol burns in his mouth. Buck lets out one last huff of a laugh, kisses his cheek again, and marches off towards certain doom.

Eddie retreats back into the shade, with the drinks.

Adriana, at the counter, is staring at him.

“What?” Eddie absolutely does not hide behind his glass.

“Mi vida?” She asks, face tipped more towards surprised than teasing. “So it’s serious.”

Fuck. Eddie regrets saying it in front of someone who understands the words. Not the language but the context, what it might mean for Eddie to admit to thinking of a relationship in that way. Someone who knew him, during Shannon and the mess that came after, and after again. Someone who knows him, knows what a fearful man he grew into, knows the protective armor he forges out of carefully kept distance. Eddie was never good at commitment, and has learned to be perpetually frightened of the word forever because he's become intimately familiar with how quickly it can be ripped away. Mi vida, my life. It's terribly revealing. What a promise, what an act of trust. Buck, my life. He'd said it so easily, and staring back at his youngest sister now he doesn't think he can convincingly deny any conclusions she's drawing.

So. "Yes," he says, finishing his drink and holding out the glass for another. "I… it's serious." Gulp, gulp. “He… it’s serious.”

She nods, eyebrows raised all the way up, sipping her own drink. “I mean, clearly you’re all over each other, but I thought it was because he’s, like, tall and hot-“

“Ugh.”

“But like…” her glass tips towards him, liquid dangerously close to spilling. “You’re for real. Are you going to marry this man?”

Jesus. “Jesus, Ri.” Christ. Eddie finishes this drink, too. “I don’t- I don’t know. I can’t even think about that. I don’t know.”

“Okay, well, not marriage then,” she waves one hand to brush away the concept, while the other hand pours him another drink. “But like… You love him.”

Yes. He does, down to his bones he does, all consuming in a way he sometimes forgets to be scared of because it’s Buck, who makes it easy. He loves him, and has loved him, probably, he’ll admit it because of the two margaritas, since he was a stranger that once held his hand who’d pulled his son from a tsunami. It’s only been a year since they’d shared a cigarette and gone home together, but Eddie hardly needed any of that time to know the terrifying scale of this, the you’re it for me of it. He’d known, probably, two margaritas, since that first morning in the same bed. “I love him.”

It comes out awful and whispery and it makes Adriana move around the bar to wrap her arms around him. He leans his head on hers, lets himself be comforted in a way he wouldn’t have in his father’s house when they were young and there wasn’t really space for them to be friends around the roles of protector and protected they’d been slotted into. She smells like sunscreen and salt and limes, and is lovely and warm.

“You seem a lot happier,” she says quietly into his shoulder. “We- I don’t know. I was worried about you.” She leans back, knocks his arm with her knuckles. “So far away.” He doesn’t think she’s talking about the distance between California and Texas. “But he makes you, like… happy and goofy. It’s been a long time.”

He doesn’t point out that they’re on vacation, and it’s summer, and it isn’t always like this; that sometimes their sharp edges fit together wrong and there's a lot of horrible grinding sounds until they align again. But. "He makes me feel safe."

Her eyes glisten a little at the implication that a lot of the time he doesn't. "I'm glad you found each other."

Eddie smiles, genuinely, despite the circumstances of the finding. "Me too."

She knocks back her drink. "Are you going to tell mom and dad?"

"God." He scrubs a hand over his face, and then back through his hair for good measure. A year ago the answer had been a firm no. Texas was far away, he could live a whole life out here exactly as he wanted it and answer to no one. But Buck and Pepa go to bridge, now, and Buck is here on this Diaz Siblings trip when no other partners are because his sisters wanted to meet him, and the cousins all adore him, and Texas is far away but it's where Isabel lives now and Eddie knows- hopes- knows that she would love him, too. And he's taught himself fear for so long that he can't imagine it going any way but badly, but maybe he owes Ramon and Helena the chance to see his whole life and be happy for him, with him. "Maybe. I think… yeah, maybe."

She hugs him again, tight, and then puts her hands on her hips. "You know you still have us as backup. We won't let them be shitty."

He laughs. "I don't know if you can let them do anything."

"Mm," she says, moving to fill her glass again. "Me and Sophia are in possession of more grandchildren than you, that's a lot of leverage."

"Hey, I have Chris, quality over quantity," he grins and then dodges the drops of margarita she flicks at him.

"Fucker. Offer rescinded, I won't forbid them from seeing the kids if they don't immediately put up a pride flag."

He snorts, but he can feel his smile twisting sideways. "Adriana. I don't want you to fuck up your relationship with them for me."

"You think you have exclusive rights to childhood trauma in the Diaz family?" She shrugs, takes a drink, and then shrugs again a little sadder. "It's… it can be easier to stand up for someone else."

He takes a steadying breath against the regret of only being there for his sisters in some ways and not others, and nods, and holds a hand across the bar for her to take. "Here's to ruining Christmas," he says, glass in the air. They drink.

"You wanna go watch your boy get destroyed in the fine arena of weirdly competitive vacation volleyball?" She asks, setting her empty glass down.

He sets his next to hers, and contemplates just how clumsily he's about to go stumbling across the sand from all that rapidly digested tequila. "Sure." Buck will be too busy fighting for his life out there to notice him looking foolish. Though, and he can blame the sappy smile on the third margarita, he thinks Buck would still, always, catch him if he fell. “It’s so sad that I’ll have to tell them that I had a boyfriend who tragically died because Sophia spiked him into the earth’s core.”

She laughs, and they hook their arms together, and walk out into the sun.

[redlinereblogs]

so ashley (@towez) and i were talking and i wrote this sappy/angsty 1988 chat fit thingy and she encouraged me to share it.

Me: Yesterday I had the poopiest day at work so I was listening to a lot of evermore and I got champagne problems and tis the damn season back to back (so obvi I listened to those two on repeat for an hour). Anyways. I kept thinking of a 1988 version and I can’t believe I forgot to tell you about it bc of the snow!!!

Ashley: TELL ME EVERYTHING! WAIT do these versions end happy??????? Those are two sad songs Jules

Me: Of course it’s happy. We just have to get there Ashley. No worries. It’s always happy. They have to be happy. It’s the law.

Okay. So. Both Jonny and Pat attended SSM. They were on the same line and didn’t room together in the dorms but were road roomies. And they hated each other but then didn’t!!! And fell in luv!! 🥰

So they are in LOVE!! And no one knows because they are male hockey players who want to make the show and they can't be gay. So it is a SECRET!! And they kiss and hold hands and it’s all so sappy you want to die bc it makes your teeth hurt but also you can’t possibly stop eating it bc it’s too good.

So. They are together. And it’s everything. And they plan to ask for a room together next year (bc they are..like...sophomores let’s say). And it’s all sappy and adorable and I love it.

And then Pat turns 16 and Tiki and the family visit and see a game.

So Pat basically pretends Jonny doesn’t exist. And Jonny’s crushed and Pat doesn’t really know what Jon expected because “it’s my family Jonny. It’s just…it just is what it is.”

And Jon didn’t expect them to make out in front of Pat’s parents or something but “you just acted like I was a teammate. You didn’t even treat me like a friend, Pat!” And he didn’t. When Jonny’s family visited, he made it at least clear that Pat was one of his best friends on the team. Pat didn’t even make it seem like Jon was…well…anyone.

And Pat doesn’t know what to do but he’s got to go have lunch with his dad. And at lunch Tiki explains that he’s arranged some tryouts for Pat. For the junior leagues. The Q and stuff. And Pat’s all “But Dad. We agreed. I’d stay here till, you know, the draft. Play with the team and finish school and stuff.”

And Tiki just brushes off Pat’s objections. He’s old enough for the age limit now. He can do school remote and play some real games. Get his name out there more. He’s not like the others. He’s too small. Too weak. He’s got to make sure the scouts know he can play. Know he can make the difference on these teams if he wants to make it.

Pat sits at the dinner just gutted. “Can I finish out the school year at least?” He might not get to live with Jonny next year but they can at least have the rest of this school year. That's....it's something at least. Tiki shakes his head. “The tryouts are in January. We’ve talked to the school. You’ll be done by winter break.” And. Well. That’s it then.

And Pat doesn’t even know what to say. He finished the sandwich and his dad dropped him back at his dorm and that’s it then.

He goes to Jonny’s dorm because he doesn’t have anywhere else to go. And TJ answers the door and is super “He doesn’t want to talk to you. Go away.” And Pat begs and refuses to move and nearly starts to cry before Jonny tells TJ to back off and let him in. And TJ glares daggers at him but grabs some shit and leaves to give them privacy.

And Jonny’s all silent. And Pat doesn’t know where to start. And then Jonny’s just like “well…” and Pat’s crying and it’s all coming out and he doesn’t know what to do and they have to break up and he doesn’t want to break up. He never wanted to and it’s just awful

And it’s all sad and angsty and terrible. And they say they’re gonna try to go long distance but it doesn’t work at all. Pat’s parents pay his cell bill and he gets a call from his mother asking why he’s got so many long distance charges. and so they try to email and message but it doesn’t work

And then they just stop talking one day. Pat sends an email that isn’t answered. One of Jonny’s messages is left unread. It just stops.

And THEN!! (angst incoming)

Jonny gets hit. It’s one of his last games at SSM. He’s already committed to UND and is projected to go high in the draft. It’s all right there, ready for him and then. It isn’t.

The doctors (thankfully) don’t think he’ll have lasting damage from the concussion but they recommend he doesn’t play anymore. Jonny can’t look anyone in the face. His mother is a wreck. His father’s worse.

All he sees is pity and he hates it.

He doesn’t go to UND. He watches TJ get drafted and goes up to his room and cries. He turns music on and presses his face into his pillow so no one will hear. He has three emails and a dozen messages from Pat, who hasn’t talked to him in years. He deletes everything and blocks Pat.

He heals and moves back home. And figures out a way to have a life without hockey in it.

He and Pat don’t talk.

Until one day, Jon’s got the radio on as he drives into work and there’s a sports segment. That’s how he hears how Pat’s been injured. He’s a big enough star now that it’s news even up in Jets territory that the Hawks star winger is gonna be out for the rest of the season.

Jon winces when they talk about the hit. And then he turns off the truck and heads inside to open up the rec center.

As he pulls in his driveway at night, he pauses. There’s someone on his front porch…

He turns the key and opens the door to see what the fuck is going on. He stops at the bottom step.

“Thought you busted your knee cap.”

“Hello to you too, Jonny.”

And then Pat’s suddenly back in Jonny’s life. And yeah. He’s injured. And can’t really walk well. And the flight up here didn’t do him any favors. And he just keeps taking nonsense about flights and Ubers and lost-and-then-found luggage and Jonny eventually breaks in with, “What the fuck are you doing here, Pat?”

And Pat doesn’t really know how to answer that because the question he’s really been asking himself for nearly a decade now is “What the hell am I doing so far away from Jon?” Every time they played Winnipeg he told himself he’d reach out. And he never did.

He even broke down once and got TJ’s number so he could ask him how Jonny was. TJ told him to fuck off and then blocked him.

So Pat doesn’t really answer. And says he’s gonna go.

And Jonny (being Jonny) says he doesn’t have to leave now. It’s late. You can stay here.

And Pat does.

And Jonny feeds him. And eventually. They talk. And they joke. And laugh.

And Pat ends up staying through the weekend.

And then it’s a week.

And then, one night, he doesn’t go into the guest room. He shyly slips under the covers of Jon’s bed. Jonny watches him do it and doesn’t say a word. Pat leans over him a bit. “Is this alright?” He whispers. Jonny nods and puts a hand on his cheek, pulling Pat down for a kiss that’s sweet and soft. And then the opposite of that.

And then they’re just together again. In this small, sacred little bubble.

Jon tells himself it’s temporary. It’s just until the Hawks medical team green lights Pat’s surgery. It’s not real. It’s fake. It’s all fake.

But then Pat calls him “Babe” and Jonny doesn’t want it to be fake anymore.

He wants it to be their life.

He works at the rec center. Pat can teach math at the high school.

They spend summers at Jon’s small cabin and in winter Pat coaches one of the local peewee teams.

They fuck and fight and live.

They save up to go on a cruise with Jon’s family. And spend American Thanksgiving with the Kanes in Buffalo.

And then Jonny overhears one of Pat’s phone calls bc he gets home early. Pats arguing with someone. He’s saying that ‘No. It needs to be delayed again. No. No. That’s not going to work—Well I don’t care if I’m violating my contract. They can just sue me then!’

And Jonny knows it’s over again.

He’s lived this nightmare before.

Pat’s life is bigger than this. Pat’s life doesn’t have room for him.

AND THEN!!!

Jonny tries to break up with Pat and Pats like “no!” And Jonny’s like “yes!”

And then they fight and Pat finally breaks down.

"I’m not losing you again Jonny. I’m just—I’m not. It almost killed me the first time and I just…I love you. I’ve always loved you. It’s always been you. I…I love you so much."

And Jonny is just gutted and “I…I love you too…”

And then they kiss and hug and figure out how they’re gonna make it work.

And then they do!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Ashley: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS, that was wonderful. I love a good angsty fic with a happy endingggggggg

Me: It’s even angstier in my head. There was so much DRAMA and I LOVE IT

Ashley: what are some more angstier bits????

Like Pat going on dates with women bc he’s supposed to and hating it. And then going home to google Jonny instead. He finds an account he’s pretty sure is Jonny’s insta but it’s locked so he doesn’t send a request in.

And Jonny watching the Hawks win the cup in ‘10 and seeing the joy on Pat’s face. They talked about winning the cup together. He’d known it was a stupid dream. They probably wouldn’t be drafted together. But it still burns. That maybe, in another life it could have been them.

Pat’s sister gently trying to tell him that they like his girlfriend well enough but also ..it’s…you know…okay if you don’t like her that much….

Jonny putting on skates again for the first time since the hit. He got a job at the rec center part time to rent out skates and run the Zamboni over the ice every so often.

The ice is empty for his first pass and he spots at center ice to cry when it all gets to be too much.

Pat trying to convince Jonny to move to Chicago with him. Jon knowing he can’t. Not because he doesn’t love Pat. But because being that close to Pat playing while he’s not would break him. He thought he processed not playing. He hasn’t.

Ashley: All of this makes me feel things and I love ittttttt Me: I KNOW!!! It’s just. 🥰🥰🥰

[lucigoo]

Weekly round up: 1st April - 7th April

NGL, i was at a 6th bday party yesterday and just forgot it was Sunday, whoops lol. So, i wrote 17,728 words last week, with 3 uploaded stories. As always, recs first, then mine. Im also adding summarys and going to sort out my rec list so bare with: Home - SunnyRose - The Hobbit (Gen fic, Written by the wonderful @sunnyrosewritesstuff an adorable look at Uncle Thorin. )

Summary: Being an uncle doesn't come instinctual to Thorin. He loves his nephews with all his heart, but he doesn't quite understand them. However, when Dís needs a break with the death of her husband so fresh, she leaves to travel as a blacksmith and Thorin is left to mind the colony, Fíli, and Kíli. If they all manage to survive to the end of the five months, Thorin will consider it a success. The Fluttering of All Your Wings - whisperedstory - Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Geart/Jaskier, i had a bit of a fae Jaskier binge and this one is top tier) Summary: Jaskier has never really fit in anywhere, not with the fae and not with the humans. His mother always warned him to hide his heritage, especially from witchers. But then he meets Geralt and starts following him around the Continent. He finally learns what it's like to feel like he belongs somewhere, which makes keeping his secret even more necessary—and difficult. Of Bookshelves and Baby Carriers - poppunkpadfoot (StormVandal) - Harry Potter (Sirius/Remus, one of my fav muggle Au fics) Summary:

The customer standing in front of him is quite possibly the most beautiful man Remus has ever seen. Like, he looks like a model or something. He has long, black hair, flattened by water, and just the slightest amount of scruff on his face, and…

And a baby strapped to his chest. The Gift of Hobbits - MoroseBarnacle - The Hobbit (Bilbo/Thorin, and its just SO good!) Summary: The gift of hobbits is a secret not known to dwarves. Bilbo’s gift saves the Company—repeatedly—and they don’t even know it until after Smaug is dead. But by then, just about everybody knows there’s a hobbit in Erebor, and the invading orcs decide to keep Bilbo and his otherworldly gift for themselves. Let's Play Pretend - MsAlexWP - Harry Potter (Sirius/Remus, muggle Au and fake dating, whats not to love?) Summary: After James and Lily died, Sirius Black's therapist told him not to date for a year. And that's just as well. He's got a 13-month-old baby now and quite enough to deal with, thanks. But the nosy neighbors in his building keep trying to set him up and won't take no for an answer. Enter Remus Lupin, another single dad who pretends to be Sirius's boyfriend, just to get the old lady brigade off his back and nothing more. Nothing more at all. Guardian of Kings - SunnyRose - The Hobbit (Bilbo/Thorin, another excelent work by @sunnyrosewritesstuff, and im sure most bagginshielders love a bit of BAMF Bilbo and cultural misunderstanding, I know i do!) Summary: The Company has been having a good laugh as the story of their quest spreads through the mountain and more and more retellings makes Thorin out to be Bilbo’s damsel in distress. It stops becoming funny when Thorin’s honor is challenged, and it’s up to Bilbo to defend it. Thorin may be ready to smuggle his hobbit out of the mountain, but Bilbo will do it. For Thorin, he would do anything. Hope theres something to others to enjoy, if not see you next week for more.

Now, for my uploaded fics:

Far over the Misty Mountains:A hobbit with a heart (Past Bilbo/Thorin, for the KCAWS 30-days-of-feelings prompts) Summary: Bilbo's home is suddenly invaded by a troop of dwarves. He would be bad, should be mad, but that song .... It's a good job I love you! ( Bilbo/Thorin,written for #247 - Blindspot for @flashfictionfridayofficial) Summary: Bilbo sees that Thorin has once again forgotten to take the rubbish out, bloody husbands, he thinks exasperated. And finally This is real, but it isnt ME! (Jegulus and background Wolfstar, based off a prompt from a friend about Regulus being in a crop top and not happy about it) Summary: Regulus loves his brother, something he has to remind himself, because right now he wants to murder him. This is all Sirius fault!

[farmerbebop]

I heard some birds singing at midnight yesterday and thought "At least McGoohan photoshopping has one good side effect, I guess".

So I put him in paintings again, while thinking of my paternal grandpa, who died before I was born. Yes, in case you are wondering, he also "resigned".

He was chosen to be a revolutionary at a very young age by an army officer who came across a group of boys playing one day and noticed one of them was different than the rest. He was then trained among the "elite" of his generation, who all went on to be high-ranking politicians, except him.

While he and his wife were out there fighting against the biggest war machine in the world, his son was raised on a thousand lines of epic poetry recited to him by his illiterate grandma, on the songs and poems of his father's friends. Dad didn't mind not being as talented as his father, in music, poetry, sport, everything. He loved swimming in the river, playing the guitar, and being mischievous. He later caused his mother many troubles, the least of them was him saying "How can I work for a boss who is less qualified than I am?" everytime she sent him somewhere to apply for a job.

How my grandma raised three kids alone after grandpa's death, how she wrote poems for him every year on his death anniversary, how we struggled and are still struggling to live, like many millions of our people who don't belong to the rich and corrupt ruling class of our country, I can't really tell you. I have never been good at this.

I just want to say one more thing. That "The Best of Friends" also reminds me of my best friend. She used to take a nap after lunch, I didn't. Everytime I turned up at her door after lunch she told me "What are you doing here?". And then let me in. After doing the dishes, she and her sister soon fell asleep with me lying between them, wide awake, daydreaming the summer noons of my childhood away. Those were probably the happiest days of my life.

References:

Pereza andaluza (Julio Romero de Torres)

Reading by Candlelight (Carl Vilhelm Holsøe)

In front of the house (Józef Mehoffer)

Wild Friend (Évariste Carpentier)

[latriii]

서울 SEOUL CITY ANTHEM “the song is about you.”

| 둘 TRACK OO2. GREAT OPPORTUNITY

Here she was, standing in front of the music cafe that was right next to her campus, awaiting to be judged by these absolute strangers to see if she were worthy enough to be apart of this band. she sucked in a breath adjusting her guitar case that was strapped around her body.

to say she was nervous was an understatement, yn does enjoy singing and playing her guitar, but only around people who she knew. this felt like a big step even for her.

the girl snapped out of her head, pressing her lips together, tightly holding onto her bag strap. it was time, i needed this, i know i do, i deserve it. and so she walked in.

the sounds of people interacting filled her ears, along with cinnamon girl by lana del ray playing in the background. eyes wandering the beautiful cafe, her orbs landed on the same guy she had met yesterday.

the boy smiled at the girl, giving her a look of amusement. i wonder if he was auditioning as well.

yn walked over to him and he just stared at her. he was leaning against the the wall with the most ‘i want you’ expression.

to be honest, he was a fairly attractive looking guy, he had black hair that was slightly permed, pink plumped lips, and just very tall. the last time the girl saw him, she never really observed him since she wasn’t really fully there in the moment.

“its good to see you again.” the boy said to her, crossing his arms.

“its good to see a familiar face.” yn replied, perking her lips up.

“follow me, ill lead you to where the the rest of my bandmates are.”

and thats when she paused, eyes widening.

“you’re not auditioning? you’re apart of the band?” she questioned him.

“yeah..”

“okay. can i get your name?”

“kim sunwoo. now follow me unless you don’t want to audition.” he says, turning around and walking towards a door that says ‘NVRMND AUDITIONS.’

they both entered the room as eyes started landing on them. there wasn’t much people, just a good handful. the band wasn’t too popular since they were yet to release a song.

“yn! hey, welcome.” heeseung smiled. he was laying back on a couch next to two other guys that the girl didn’t know. one guy had a soft look to him, he waved at her and she waved back.

meanwhile the other guy had a nice mullet that framed his structured face well, he wore these hooped earrings, and just had a cold look plastered across his face.

the mullet boy was on his phone, he shifted his gaze to yn, locking eye contact with her, proceeding to roll his eyes.

that was rude. what the heck.

“okay yn you can sit down right there.” heeseung pointed at the chair that was placed right in front of the 3 boys. sunwoo stood by the door— once again leaning against the frame.

“okay.” she sat down on the chair, taking her guitar out of her case.

all eyes were on her now, she strapped her guitar around her petite body. glancing up, she saw the mullet boy looking back at her. his gaze was dull as if he didn’t want to be there.

yn gulped before clearing her throat. “okay so im going to be singing i know you know by CHSKA.”

the boys all nodded, watching as yn’s fingers gently played her guitar.

m.list — prev next

| SEOUL CITY ANTHEM: angel, the song that blew korea away, the song they both wrote about you. -> one day, as you were walking around your campus, you see a flyer for vocalist auditions for a band: nvrmnd, since you weren’t satisfied with your current college life, you decide to take the chance. you never expected to become bandmates with YANG JUNGWON and KIM SUNWOO, you also never expected to be the girl the boys wrote about in the hit song everyone loved.

+ TAGLIST @taegyuul @wtfhyuck @baekhyunstruly @strwberrydinosaur @jungwonsgfnameyukie @lalalalawon @ihrthni @woncheecks @ahnneyong @luveill @sxftiell @minjidrafts @yenqa @dearnjm @dimplewonie @captivq @zeraaax @yeomha @rikisly @astrae4 @catsyoon @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @baerinaa @ixomiyu @cookiechristie @woonierkiz @rosabella1009 @eulris @haoqwrld @ilovewonyo

[foxes-that-run]

Eyes Open

Eyes Open was the second song Taylor wrote for Hunger Games. Taylor wrote it from Katniss' perspective and said she reflected on how our society compares to that in the book. To me X-Factor was part inspiration for it.

Eyes Open has the best lyric video of all, and it is from 2012! The stop motion and stationary bringing a childlike quality to a song about anxiety and losing innocence for cruel competition. ‘Eyes’ only appears in green or black, there is one eyes on purple paper for Speak Now, Taylors then Era.

What Taylor Said

At the VH1 Storytellers event at Harvey Mudd, Taylor Introduced it by saying it was interesting to get into the mindset of a character and:

When I started writing this song I started kind of applying it to life. How we're all kind of pinned up against each other. In school, in society, in like whatever celebrity world whatever it is. Everyone is like pinned up against each other like it's this weird competition. And so I wrote this song kinda based on Katniss running through a forest being chased by people but also, you know, the kind of society that we live in compared to the society she lives in.

Timeline

Eyes Open was registered in 2012. It was recorded at Pain in the Art Studio in Nashville. I was likely recorded in the first 3 weeks of the year. Taylor was in Nashville 12 January, 2012 when she performed Safe and Sound at a Civil Wars concert. It would have been complete before 23 January when Taylor was back in London. Thank you @cntfightmydemonsthyknowhowtoswim for your mad time skills.

Live Performances and 17 March

Taylor has played it live only ever three times:

17 March 2012, 2nd last Speak Now concert. 3 days before album.

15 October 2012, the day after Taylor performed on X-Factor UK.

17 October 2012, at the VH1 Storytellers event where she gave the above introduction.

When Taylor introduced it on 17 March she said: "Eyes Open ... I can't wait for you to hear, I'm really excited about it. I mean you don’t think I’ll get in trouble if I played it now?" The soundtrack was not out yet.

Eyes Open (Taylors Version) was released in the More Chapters on 17 March, 2023. Exactly 11 years after Taylor first played it live. At the time, this seemed random, yes Eras, but they were 3 deep cut re-records and a Lover vault released at a seemingly odd time.

So why 17 March? On 17 March, 2011, Taylor first played the mash-up of Fearless and Trains' Soul Sister, in Paris. Soul Sister was Harry's X-Factor Audition song, Harry was in Europe and not seen for days around that show. Taylor was then in London on the 20th when Harry performed in the X-factor tour at the O2. Post about that here. Taylor also included 16 March 2011 in the Lover Journal which mention a 4th grade book report and career anxiety, relevant to this song.

X-factor inspiration

The parallel between X-Factor and Hunger Games is not difficult to draw. In fact in 2013 even Simon Cowell did. As have 2012 contestant Ella Henderson and 2009 contestant Olly Murs. The second time Taylor played Eye's Open was also the day after she performed on X-Factor UK, which, to me, hints at the similarity in this song.

In January 2012 X-Factor was a UK reality show, in their first US interviews One Direction kept explaining what it was. Yet Taylor was not only familiar, but related to it. Which, the 2011 timeline covers. It seems they were friendly at that time.

Lyrics

Everybody's waiting Everybody's watching Even when you're sleeping Keep your ey-eyes open

The first verse sets the tension in the song, everybody is waiting and watching to see what happens, both in the Hunger Games, talent shows and celebrities. Throughout the song, it goes without saying each verse applies to the book, so I will focus more on the celebrity and X-factor angle.

The tricky thing is yesterday we were just children Playing soldiers, just pretending Dreaming dreams with happy endings In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords But now we've stepped into a cruel world Where everybody stands and keeps score Keep your eyes open

While this verse applies in the book, I think it is where the comparison to a society with X-factor is most apparent. This verse speaks of someone who has experienced the cruel and competitive world speaking to someone naive to it. Taylor was 6 years (1/4 of her life) past her first record deal. In January 2012 Harry was younger and only 13 months into his first record deal. She worked for years to reach the point Harry found himself in overnight and potentially not ready for it.

On December 28 and 29 2011 Taylor posted these three photos, one with her face at sunset on a western coast (or early sunrise in the east) captioned 'childhood beach memories revisited', one with snow on a beach & safe and sound lyrics. It's unclear where they were taken, Taylor was not seen for weeks, it did snow on the beach in Liverpool that year. The lyrics in this verse of Eyes Open indicate a childhood she considered over christmas juxtaposed to fame.

Everybody's waiting for you to break down Everybody's watching to see the fallout Even when you're sleeping, sleeping Keep your ey-eyes open Keep your ey-eyes open Keep your ey-eyes open

Taylor repeated eye's open as a warning and others watching in other songs:

Wonderland: "I should have slept with one eye open at night" and "But there were strangers watching and whispers turned to talking"

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever: "Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you’ll call"

Safe And Sound: "Just close your eyes"

Mirrorball: "Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten"

I know places “It's a scene, and we're out here in plain sight / I can hear them whisper as we pass by”

Run: We can go where our eyes can take usGo where no one else is, run

So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard Every lesson forms a new scar They never thought you'd make it this far But turn around (turn around) Oh, they've surrounded you It's a showdown (showdown) And nobody comes to save you now But you've got something they don't Yeah, you've got something they don't You just gotta keep your eyes open

This verse applies equally to Katniss as it does celebrity.

In particular the 'make it this far' and scars is reminiscent of overnight fame from a tv show. On 23 November 2011 the One Direction: A Year in the Making special (25 minutes) was released where Harry cried as he spoke about searching for online hate and an uncomfortable obsession with his personal life.

Everybody's waiting for you to break down Everybody's watching to see the fallout Even when you're sleeping, sleeping Keep your ey-eyes open x3 Keep your feet ready Heartbeat steady Keep your eyes open Keep your aim locked The night goes dark Keep your lights open

The closing of the song continues the comparison, that in Katniss's world as it is in a show like X-Factor or celebrity where people are obsessed with the outcome, but also not necessarily the wellbeing of actual people (or characters in Katniss's case) involved.

Taylors parting words are to remain with their eyes open, aim locked and lights open. This is an interesting almost start to several years of a battle hardened Taylor, who wrote about weapons as defensive metaphors for years. This battle metaphor continued though 1989 and reputation.

I Know Places: Cause they got the cages, they got the boxes and guns

Call It What You Want: My castle crumbled overnight, I brought a knife to a gunfight

Only in Lover and Evermore, 7 and 8 years later did Taylor start to talk of setting aside this battle hardened persona.

Daylight: Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it’s morning now, it’s brighter now, now.

Long story short: When I dropped my sword I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door and we live in peace.

[defira85]

On Repeat Playlist Tag Game

Rules: Shuffle your repeat playlist 10 times and tag 10 people. Tagged by @flymmsy! ❤️

Hmm. This is going to be an indication of how heavily BG3 has taken over my playlists because I'm looking at this list it's given me and like... only one of these isn't a ship song. No wait, two aren't ship songs, and of those two, one is still a song I use for writing Kass. So really one song that isn't BG3 flavoured

Tagging: @sithrightsactivist @angelicfangirl @thegingerjedi @mhara @darkfeanix @tiefighter @zeowynda @anarchyinplasma @maeglinhiei (Mae why will it never let me tag you) @meredoubt

It's Durgetash, it's Kass and Enver, I can't pretend that it's not. It's both of them mourning the lost months, it's both of them convinced they're the ruin of the other. It opens with a verse about corrupting an angel and dragging them down to earth, and yes it's Enver thinking about seducing a demi-god, but it's also Kass ruining herself by becoming Torm's valkyrie so she can fight Bane

God, I was going to say this is THE Durgetash song for me (and god the music video does a lot of the heavy lifting in that regard too) but there's still 8 songs to go so I can't promise that. Needless to say I have been known to put on a 1 hour loop of this song when I'm writing Kass and Enver

Insert Llamas with Hats gif "I Will Not Apologise For Art". This song fucking slaps. I've loved it for years. It's Kass and Enver

I actually got into Teddy Swims from some of his covers, I LOVE his cover of Make You Feel My Love and was hoping that would turn up but I do love this one. I have this one on Rhyme and Gale's playlist, Carmela and Astarion's playlist, and Kass and Enver. It is really good

Tommee Profitt is genuinely one of my favourite artists, and his collabs with Fleurie are always golden. This cover of Avicii's Wake Me Up is just haunting, and it turns such a bop into a song that will linger in my soul forever. It's one of my solo songs for Kass and also for Rhyme, because if I'm not torturing one of them I'm torturing the other

This is the song I had playing when I wrote Enver's death. I had Kass say "come home with me" because I was crying that much over this song

I love The Hu, and I've seen people drag this version because they think Jacoby Shaddix looks out of place but it's??? Fucking great? I mean my favourite song by The Hu is Song of Women ft. Lzzy Hale but this is great. I played it a lot when I wrote the Battle for Baldur's Gate scenes

This is it, the ONE non shipping/non Baldur's Gate related song on the list. Paris Paloma is fantastic. I play this on repeat CONSTANTLY.

This is one of my more generic 'set the mood when writing' songs, so it's not really a song that belongs to anyone in particular. Although for some reason it seems to come up a lot when I'm writing Carmela, which fits. Golden paladin suddenly confronted by the uncomfortable shades of grey morality in the world

THIS IS THE SONG KASS AND ENVER FUCK TO, THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT

[sukunasdirtylaugh]

cruel temptations

pairings: sukuna x reader, toji x reader, gojo x reader

tags: love triangle, slowburn, bar!au, bartender sukuna and toji, club owner gojo

a/n: I will probably never make a pt. 2 but I knew I had to post this bit I wrote back in october. Sukuna’s bar is called the Atlantic Domain whereas Satoru’s is Blue Dragon.

synopsis: after a mutual agreement with bartender/owner sukuna, the new bartender whose name you learn is toji, piques your interest. however, that all may change with the arrival of one new guest.

tw: alcohol mentions

“another song?” you rolled your eyes, making your way towards the bar where sukuna stands.

“you know I come here whenever I can.”

“you sure it’s not for me?” a teasing smile plays across his lips.

“nope,” you say, popping the p. “I love the free drinks.”

from the other side of the counter, sukuna reaches for the empty glass to fill your beverage of choice. virgin piña coladas.

“you’re lucky you’re not an alcoholic,” he bickers, sliding the glass towards you before adding a decorative umbrella against the rim. just the way you like it, “or else I would’ve kicked you out already.”

you snort.

“oh please, we both know I bring in clients.”

for the last several weeks, the two of you settled on an agreement. in exchange for karaoke nights sung by you, you would receive a generous amount of free drinks.

you remember the night as if it were yesterday. your friends having brought you to a karaoke bar to sing, encouraging you to flash your ‘talent’ to those around. fast forward to three hours later, the whole bar was packed, and Sukuna was pleased with the numbers.

all thanks to someone's video publication of you in a seemingly ‘aesthetic’ bar.

it was late that night, already in the am when he proposed you come next week, with the chance to try a new drink of his; explosive coladas as he calls them.

and you surprise him next week with your visit. audiences filling the seats at a fast rate. that very night, the bartender proposes you come sing on the weekends. your pay? free drinks.

but as of late, your visits to the Atlantic Domain were gradually becoming frequent. thanks to the new bartender around, whose name you learned from a friend was Toji. you were visiting the bar day and night, including weekdays.

“you may be right,” Sukuna interrupts your thoughts with a harmless frown, “but I don’t want any snot running on my counters.”

“oh come on, you know Adele is a tear-jerker!” you defend.

“yeah? well save ‘m for the showers.”

ever since the arrival of Toji, Sukuna has taken most nights off, working at another location in hopes of opening another bar on the west side of the city.

“you should order something else besides coladas,” your friend, Utahime suggests. standing on the other side of the bar, Mei-Mei shakes a container before skillfully pouring 8 blossom shots in one go. your friend grumbles beside you, saying something about Mei-Mei's hair always looking flawless.

“Toji should be coming from his smoke break,” she informs, taking your orders. “we also have a new guest joining us tonight.”

“who?” Utahime questions.

“gojo satoru, owner of the Blue Dragon, among many other clubs and businesses of course.”

you can’t help but notice the curve of her lip when she brings up the name. it’s no surprise to either of you that anything related to money called for Mei-Mei’s attention, but she wasn’t that shallow; you knew. why him?

“Is there a reason why he’s coming?” you're thankful your friend asks the question lurking in your mind.

“could be business,” Mei-Mei grins, sliding your friend her beverage. “or pleasure.”

“he’d be an idiot to mix business and pleasure.” Utahime sourly spits before drowning her drink.

“a very rich, idiot.” Mei-Mei smiles, turning to you with a twinkle in her eye. “maybe he’ll take a liking to your singing if he stops by.”

“I’m not a show bird,” you quickly reply, “and I’m certainly not here to entertain him. plus, if he were that important, Sukuna would’ve told me.”

failing to hide the smirk across her lips, Mei-Mei rolls her eyes.

“oh you and your loyalty to that man.”

[carpehistoryandthepens]

Legacy (what is a legacy?) Part 8

It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see I wrote some notes at the beginning of a song someone will sing for me

Hamilton, the world was wide enough. LMM.

one, two, three, four, Five, six seven

Summary: Mike is 13. Born May 2009. Sid didn’t know he had a son. All Mike had was hope and a prayer for his and his half-sister’s safety.

(Sid is a dad of a teen he didn’t know about AU) Sidgeno.

Warnings: (for the total story) post-child abuse (all off-screen but it affects things and is spoken about often), learning how to parent, panic attacks, anxiety, based on last season, OCs?, realization about sexuality. Post breakups. Desperate lack of in-depth research for CPS in both PA/CA, melodrama?, kidfic, angst, slowburn, playing fast and loose with the law for drama/storytelling purposes.

-

Sid was exhausted the morning after the first preseason game he played in, nearly moving zombie-like through his house and heading toward the kitchen. 

The Pens lost last night. The loss wasn't the reason for his exhaustion. But honestly, Sid didn't even really care. It was a preseason game. Okay… at least he didn't care in the same way he had before like it was important to him, but when he woke up, the terrible loss wasn't with him the same way it would have been the last season. His exhaustion came from figuring out new (!) game-day routines with the kids; it was an adventure. 

It was four days since the kids had arrived. Sid's crash course in parenting was an adventure, to say the least. Mike and Marisol did everything together. 

For the first two days, the siblings slept most of the time. Helena and Geno said it was their bodies recovering from the trip.

Marisol was still in potty training, and while Mike assured Sid and Helena that she was doing really good – there were a few accidents. Enough that Mike didn’t mind when Sid had a second bed put in their room. Sid was never more thankful for the WAGs; Jake and his wife stopped by with some kid-friendly items for Marisol collected by the WAGs. Some of which were meant to help with potty training.

They both wanted to eat but seemed so scared of asking for food. That worried Sid so much. They were both terrified of expressing a need sometimes. Mike could easily ask for things for Marisol, both her wants and needs, but neither of them could ask for themselves.

Marisol cried most nights, and although they tried hiding it on the second night, it didn’t last long. Mike often looked like he would join her. It broke Sid's heart that a three-year-old was trying not to cry. Sid had lasted an hour listening to the quiet crying and Mike trying to calm Marsiol down, before knocking and coming into their room to help them both.

The bruises that covered the siblings were starting to fade, thankfully. The trainers said Mike's black eye might take the longest to heal. The relief on Mike's face when they told him that Marisol's bruises were well healed wasn't one Sid understood, but he respected.

Sid wasn't sure what he would do if he met the people responsible for Mike's scared eyes and Marisol's bruised arms, but it wouldn't be pretty. 

The trainers had also declared that Mike was in reasonably good shape if a little underweight. Sid and the trainer didn't allow Mike to do the fitness tests - even though Mike had offered. Instead, insisting that Mike take some time and gain some weight first. 

Mike was doing his best to stay fit by himself with no support. Sid was honestly amazed at how much Mike tried to keep in shape. Marisol told Sid that when he was home from school, he would take her to the park, and they would run around doing sprints or how he would do workouts on the equipment near the playground. Mike had gone red and explained that it was the only way to get close to staying in shape.

Yesterday's pregame changes had started with breakfast. Sid had woken up at his standard time for a pregame skate and made breakfast. Usually (and by that, Sid meant the two previous days), Sid made breakfast for all three of them before they went to the rink. However, when Sid got to the kitchen yesterday, Mike was awake with Marisol. Both were fed, meals cleaned up, and both were already dressed to start the day.

It worked out well for Sid; he had spent the last four days exhausted, starving, and so, so, so nervous. But at the same time…

Sid's whole world had changed, and now he had two people in his life who were his focus, something that wasn't just hockey. It was terrifying. It was exhilarating. Sid was a parent. 

After four days, Sid could see why Helena was so concerned about attachment. Watching Marisol smile increasingly more was a delight that Sid didn't even know how to describe. Mike was so wide-eyed and overwhelmed with everything, but he was so damn earnest, and Sid wanted to keep them. 

Sidney's agent, Pat Brisson, had landed the day before. He had made the trip to see Mike and Marisol just before the morning skate and met Mike briefly before enclosing himself with Jen, Helena, and Sid's American lawyer. Sid hadn't seen Pat since then. While they had a meeting with him after the practice that afternoon, Sid was slightly worried about what Pat might present. Sid trusted Pat to devise the right plans, but it was still a significant worry. Sid clarified to his lawyer and Pat that he wanted to keep the kids if Mike was his son. 

While it was nice that the siblings had gotten themselves ready before the morning skate, it meant that Sid was left alone for breakfast. Sid's disappointment and sadness were a surprise – he hadn't expected the shift from three days of routine to be that deep. 

However, seeing them already fed was a more considerable relief than worry. In the back of Sid's mind, he had been worried about how many of his pregame rituals would change. Sid had consoled himself that it was a preseason game, and if preseason games weren't for changing things up and testing things out, then what were they good for?

Sid didn't know how to breathe or find time to skate, work out, eat, and care for the kids, but somehow, he was doing it.They were figuring things out one event at a time. It was just the first game Sid played for the season. The game didn't matter in the long run, as it was a preseason game, but they still lost. 

The kids hadn't been at the preseason game. There had been some contention about whether or not they should be seen in the stands. While Helen, Sid, and Mike were in the camp of not going, most of the team expected to see them. Sid put his foot down when they nearly asked Mike about it. Mike was so uncomfortable talking to people who weren't Sid, Helena, or the two trainers that Sid ensured he was between him and the rookies. The rookies had good intentions but poor choices. They backed off after that. 

In the end, Dumo's wife hosted a kids' watch party that night for Lady Pens, who didn't want a kid in tow for a preseason game, and Marisol wanted to go, so she and Mike went there rather than to the game. However, it wasn't perfect. Helena also went to the party so Mike wouldn't feel so alone. No one knew what else to do; honestly, neither Mike nor Marisol didn't want to be left alone in Sid's house, and Sid would rather have them close. Being with the team was protected, so it was the compromise they all chose.

While it sucked that the kids weren't even there to see the game, the reality was that no one was ready to see a game yet. Marisol was asleep when Sid picked home, and Mike wasn't much more awake. Helena said he had tried to stay up for the whole game but couldn't make it. Sid didn't blame him.

Still, despite the loss, Sid found it pleasant knowing he would be going home to a house full of family. Helena had taken the kids back to his home after the game. It would have been fantastic to have family in the stands for him. Family, at least, who weren't Kathy or his parents or sister, but it would be okay; he wanted a win. He still wanted to do better for the kids. They deserved to see him at his best. 

They might be a few years too late, but they deserve the best Sid he can be. He would have to be better than in the last few years. He had to. He had a son now. 

Sid emerged from his memories, staring blankly at the closed kitchen door – almost zoned out. Sid hadn't heard anyone else awake as he got ready, but other than yesterday, he had always been the first one up. He didn't know if that was a one-off event or how things would be from now on. A routine would be nice to settle into. Despite his game day routine changes yesterday, he was still happy to have Mike and Marisol with him. 

A faint scraping noise and the smell of eggs cooking came from behind the kitchen door. Sid's stomach growled, letting him know it was time to get breakfast. 

As he entered the kitchen, Mike was already there, back turned toward the doorway, attention on the stove. He was making breakfast. There was a skillet making what looked like an attempt at an omelet, but it would probably end up being a sausage, bell pepper, and cheese scramble.  

"Mike?" Sid asked, doing his best not to surprise the teen. It had taken an hour after they got to Sid's house from the rink that first day before Mike had very quietly told Sidney that he preferred his nickname over his full name. Sid laughed and agreed, thinking about all the times he had chosen plain 'Mike' rather than Sidney.

Mike was startled so visibly he nearly dropped the spatula he was holding. "Sid – Sidney!" he said, spinning around, eyes wide. 

"Just Sid, if you can, please," Sid reminded him. Both of them were still trying to figure out what to call Sidney. Papi, or Papa, were right out. Sid wasn't about to replace Mike or Marisol's father – who had been there for their childhoods and helped raise them to be so strong – and Mike wasn't comfortable calling Sid by his first name. Sid figured they would get there in the end. 

"Right," Mike said. "I was making breakfast… For you! I ate. Or really, I'm not hungry. Mari really isn't awake yet." he nodded to the bay window and the sleeping girl tucked into the bench seat, covered with a throw blanket. "Do you want an omelet?" 

He said all of that in one breath, and Sid took a second to parse out what was being asked of him. "I would love an omelet. But that won't flip right unless you turn down the heat." 

"Oh shit!" Mike said, turning around and trying to fix the omelet. 

Sid realized belatedly that he probably should have said something about the cursing since he was a parental figure and all. He hadn't even registered the words until Mike was well into cooking again. Sid decided it wasn't worth it. It wasn't like Sid's language at thirteen was immaculate. 

Sid got some plates out as it was clear that Mike's omelet was more of a scramble despite some reasonable efforts to save it. There was more than enough to feed Sid, even with a hockey player's appetite. 

It was a mildly chaotic few moments as the food was plated into two good-sized portions for both of them. When they were settled at the table, Mike stared at his plate like he had no idea how it got there. 

"Please eat," Sid said with a smile, "I like having company while I eat breakfast." He paused before he tucked into the meal, waiting for Mike to make the next choice. 

Mike stiffened against the chair, frowned at the food, nodded, and started to pick at the scramble. But as Mike ate the admittedly excellent (if not as omelet-like as initially intended) breakfast, the slow start bearly picking at the meal transformed into the massive appetite that Sid remembered from being a teenager who played hockey. 

Sid frowned a little to himself. Mike wasn't this stiff around him before the game. Did something happen during the party? Did Sid make Mike feel bad? Was there something else? Was it the loss? Was he just overwhelmed for the first few days, and is he waking up now? That would make sense because he ran away with his sister to escape abuse.

Sid took a deep breath to keep himself from spiraling down into a panicked mess. He hadn't had to deal with panic attacks or anything like that since the very start realization that the concussion would be around for a very long time. And that was over a decade ago. Fucking hell, Sid felt old. 

Sid ate and watched Mike inhale breakfast out of the corner of his eye; he was sure of his earlier conclusion. He was okay with the loss, personally. It meant some more work for the team, but they would get there; learning how to lose is essential to ensuring the team survived the season. It's best to get it done early. 

"Mike," Sid asked once he was done. 

Mike jumped hard like he had forgotten that Sid was there. Which was not good, Sid realized. "Yes… Sid?" he said quietly. 

"Did you…." Sid trailed off, thinking about the dozens of questions he had about their lives before they came to Pittsburgh. "Did you choose whether you liked homeschooling or would you prefer to be in a classroom? No pressure," Sid rushed to reassure, realizing that even asking might be pressing Mike for an answer.

Mike pulled a face that said he really wasn't ready to answer yet. 

"I just wanted to know your feelings about it," Sid said, feeling like he chose the wrong thing to say. He was usually very good with kids! Why did he choose this topic? Mike was barely settling down into his life. So, Sid brought up school?! 

Helena had come to the rink yesterday to talk to the three of them about Mike and Marisol's options for school before the game and party. Marisol was a bit young for school, but Helena was sure she needed outside-child interaction. Sid figured that if they didn't want to go to school, Sid would sign them up for a sport or class. Probably hockey. Maybe dance; Tanger's daughter loved dance classes. 

Mike's terrified expression changed into a more complicated one, clearly thinking about it. "I… didn't like learning on a computer. It wasn't... really good..." 

Sid nodded in understanding. Many of his teammates, friends, and coaches said their kids didn't like the pandemic learning styles. But there was something else that would cause a problem. "But you also don't want to go to school." 

Those were the two options that Helena suggested. Mike made many faces that he quickly tried to cover when she said that. Sid understood that well. He didn't really like options either. 

"No, I don't..." Mike shook his head. "I don't…. really feel comfortable going to a school like you suggested yesterday."

Sid suggested a private school to which he knew many of his teammates had chosen to send their kids. But it was a very private environment Mike had never been in before. Mike hadn't seemed too happy either. 

Mike looked down at his lap. "I mean, what about a public school? Or I don't go to school and just help with Marisol!" he said, looking up. "That would be easiest!" 

"What about a private tutor? One who could work with both you and Marisol?" Sid asked gently. Because he would definitely ensure that Mike and Marisol had a good education while they were with him. It was good to have an education, at least a high school diploma.  

Tanger had suggested a private tutor in the chat after the game, saying it was something he and his wife had thought about for their kids, even though they chose to put them into school. Carts had backed it up with some thoughts for his girls. 

"If that helps," Mike said, sinking into his seat, not enthused at all, but at least not uncomfortable at the idea. 

Sid smiled at him, amused at the show of age-appropriate dismissal of school and education, "It's just a suggestion rather than an order there, Mike. You're able to make the choice in the end."

Mike looked up briefly, then looked at his plate. "I'm going to wake up, Marisol." He said instead of agreeing or disagreeing. 

Sid let the topic be. "I can get started on breakfast for her. Does she like oatmeal?" Sid asked, standing up. 

"With strawberries and brown sugar," Mike started before he snapped his mouth shut, eyes wide with panic. Sid didn't know how to take that. "But! You don't have to worry about her. I can make her something to eat." He rushed to say. "I'm sure you've got important stuff to do." 

Sid waved him off, mind still on the panicked expression Mike had. It was always an emotional rollercoaster with him; Sid would just be along for the ride. "It's an hour before we need to leave for the rink. Besides, I like making breakfast." 

It was one of the few things he could do in the kitchen, beyond a few baking recipes and dinners that Sid rotated through when left to his own devices. He should really get his mother's banana bread recipe. He wondered if Marisol and Mike would like it. 

"Oh." Mike paused. "It's not too much trouble?" he asked, voice small. 

Sid shook his head, "No, you guys aren't trouble. Just let me know how Marisol prefers her oatmeal, eh?" 

Mike stares at him for a long time.

Sid feels like he missed something. But before Sid could ask, Mike agreed, collected Marisol from the window seat, and entered the living room.