#she can commit atrocities bc shes my little guy and shes just having fun. god forbid a woman has fun nowadays

[stinkrascal]

character development is me 4 years ago desperately trying to explain away vlads evil trait to now being like actually, vlad and breanna both get the evil trait, as a treat

[kachimera]

Leon, Mathias, Sara, Hector, Isaac and Dracula for the bingo <3

(@viralvava also asked me for Mathias ) *cracks knuckles*

Leon: no bingo :)

Listen he's not a bad dude, just a little insane and messed up by circumstances  (see next character) (also ppl pls remember he's a darn knight he has a body count let him be mean). Questioning on the ruthless bc while he is ready to do what's right no matter what and bc he's to be feared when he's pissed he's still a good hearted guy who will try to help others he aint in it for misery, and on family dinamics bc i dont think it's very healthy to be an orphan.

Mathias: double bingo :D

YES THIS IS THE MAN I WAS THINKING OF. MY POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW. Why are you so fucked up. Why can you control others emotions but not your own. Why do you make your problems everyone else's problems so disasterously. I wanna dissect him and see how a person can end up like this. Also getting pissed off at god for stuff is a mood so interesting in a messed up way. And im sure his alchemist family inheritance played on this disaster too. They had to inhale mercury at some point at least.

Sara: no bingo

BEST GIRL. My bby. In life she was someone sweet and good, maybe with some issues like ppl pleasing or insecurity and frustrated over ppl taking advantage of her generosity (a mood), but overall good mental health. And then circumstances happened (see character above). She gets kidnapped, dies at the hands of her own fianceé after begging him to do it, is turned into a weapon, murder ,  learn how they've been betrayed, more murder, see Leon pass away, take care of the belmonts for generations, plenty of murder, finally kill the bastard responsible for it all, m u r d e r, kill said bastard multiple times, deal with some of her kids getting possessed. All that mixed up with general vampire madness and the sheer frustration of getting fucked over so unfairly and damm you end up messed up. She's the well meaning but deeply hurtful matriarch of the clan now. Don't let me rant abt her or i wont stop help-

Hector: bingo! (Kinda)

He's a fun guy to think abt bc, he was born "cursed", is hated or used by others and his destiny kept dragging him around. (For example, did he really have much choice in moving into Drac's castle when he was a hated child that would have been burned by fellow humans?) But he isn't an innocent little baby, he becomes powerful and prideful and commits atrocities- so, how much of his bad parts are his and how many are from him? At least until he, wether for pride or regret, decides to make a choice of his own to leave the castle and finally makes peace with humans and gets a pretty wife. And when someone (see character below) ruins his peace and his dark fate tries to drag him down again, he realizes this and overcomes it. Idk i had a point i swear. Anyways he hot

Isaac: Double bingo! (Kinda)

Problematic badass pathetic hoe 10/10. Like Hector he has a terrible fate but he instead clutches onto it and makes it his purpose. God rejected him so he finds a god in Dracula, humans were cruel to him so he makes cruelty his method. He lost Hector and then everything so he makes Hector lose everything. He's always on this fine line of being wronged and wronging others, he never fully gets what he wants, he keeps spiraling down and down and its 👌

Dracula Triple bingo combo! (Kinda but shhhh)

Ah yes the previous asshole but rip and rotten. He's had time to soak in his dark powers, turn Death from his ally into his husband confidant, assimilate vampire madness to compliment his neurosis and just become a proper bastard. And then Lisa appears and he feels love again, remembers his humanity, and has his own son (all of this with some general fucked up-ness but he legit cares). And then he sees her die at the hands of humans and just loses it. Any grip he had over the powers of chaos is just gone, he lets himself fully fall into madness and makes his suffering everyone else's suffering (like before but amplified to a thousand ) and through this he loses his son, his generals, and with each ressurection, himself. To resume: Utter fucking nuclear disaster that learned n o t h i n g and will learn n o t h i n g (until Soma).

[ziracona]

The tendency in fandom to take every white girl with short hair, regardless of the status of their canonical interest or lack of interest in women and explicit interest and/or sexual history with everything but, proclaim them a lesbian queen, and then ignore or absolve them of every single horrific act they take in fiction because of this. Is not doing feminism. Women. Lesbians. Or anyone. Any favors. It’s just bad.

Somehow. Some people really do apparently need to hear that...being any specific sexuality...is not a personality trait.

And also. Women aren’t inherantly less vile than men (or anyone non-binary, agender, fluid, etc, else), and whatever bad deeds they do should be judged based on just that—on the deeds, and their context. Not their sexuality, imagined sexuality, or their gender. Becuase none of those things effect whether committing murder is bad. At all. Not even a little. And none of them. Is even a personality trait. Affecting the character’s value as a person.

It’s cool, and good, to see characters with minority identities. And it’s real nice. When it’s whatever you are. But them being whatever. Is not a personality trait. Just a fact. And sometimes. People of any type. Are not good. Pretending any minority status—gender, sexuality, race, disability, neurotype, etc—is a get out of jail free card? Is not. Doing them. Or anyone. Any favors. Personality disorder. Doesn’t make you bad. Also doesn’t make you good. Your actions do. Acting like Amy from Gone Girl did nothing wrong when she date rapes her boyfriend & then frames him for doing that to her & ruins his life, then blackmails her husband who is terrified of being murdered by her into staying with her for the sake of the child she made at a fertility clinic with his sperm without his consent, bc she’s a woman. Isn’t good. Men aren’t more deserving of violence than women. Neither is anyone else. Jane. Left an infant child in an unheated car in subzero weather in a snow storm with zombies around that easily would hear it cry and go eat it. So she could lie and say she already let zombies eat it to bait a man with easily triggerable PTSD who had just lost his family to zombies for the second time into starting a fight. Because he was injured, unarmed, weak, down an eye, and 50, while she was fit, mid 20s, healthy, and armed with a hunting knife. Because she wanted an excuse to kill him without looking bad, because she wanted the 11 year old girl she was co-parenting with him, all to herself. And her immediately responding to the dude throwing a punch by stabbing him in the stomach to escalate the fight from brawl to life or death, then losing her knife, and instead of telling him the baby was alive & she’d made it up to start a fight which could have at any point ended the fight, begging the 11 year old child to gun down her oldest surviving friend with her own hands in cold blood so that she’d get what she wanted? Is evil. As is crying on the 11 year old and using pity as a weapon to get her to stay with her if she gets mad and wants to leave when she realizes Jane staged the whole thing for an excuse to murder, and so is after realizing like a month later that she is pregnant, committing suicide, and leaving the 11 year old that she just manipulated into killing her oldest surviving friend/completely isolated on purpose so she could have her to herself, totally alone in the apocalypse to care for an infant. Jennifer’s Body? Is a fantastic film. And Jennifer didn’t deserve any of what happened to her. But not one single boy she kills during the course of that film deserved it—and explicitly so. Even the guy who could easily have been a meathead jock bully is outside alone crying becuase his best friend just died and he loved him before she decides to lure him off and eat him alive. And acting like it’s totally fine & Needy should have just let her keep eating boys instead of killing her? Is fucked up. None of them deserved to die. And no one deserves death innately more because they are or are not something that is just a factual designator of their makeup as a human. The exchange student was scared and alone and nice, the catholic kid was sweet and Needy’s friend, Chip is a bad boyfriend but he meant well and being stupid doesn’t mean you deserve to die. And this girl ate them alive. That’s not funny. Or cool. Or fine becuase they were dudes. Gertrude Robinson? Chose again and again to betray people who loved her, or trusted her—sold out victims of awful trauma to their worst nightmares. Killed friends in the worst possible ways, like it was nothing. Michael loved her, and trusted her, and tried to care for her, and she without faltering fed him to his worst nightmare and forced him to become it. There is nothing excusable about that action.

Jude Perry? Has 0 redeeming features. Didn’t even stay faithful to her poor gf & was creepy obsessed w Agnes. Literally murdered her co-worker friend just because he was happy, and she wanted to destroy things: that’s it. She didn’t even dislike him. Murdered him because he had a wife and kid and house and it seemed fun, then burned down his house, took his wife’s money, and now checks in on his kid every so often in case he ever recovers from the trauma she inflicted enough to be fun to kill. There is literally nothing good about this woman. Yes. I mean that. Because being a lesbian? Is just a thing. There is no g/b tag, there is no tag at all. Amanda Young? Got kidnapped and tortured and forced to choose between killing a man who couldn’t resist but was conscious to watch her, and letting herself die, and she killed him. Then, instead of responding to that trauma with guilt or responsibility or anger at her captor, joined up with him and started helping him kidnap people just like her. She was not forced, she was not lied to. It does not matter if John was manipulative; she is a grown ass woman and like all grown ass adults, responsible for her own actions and choices. She did not get manipulated pitifully into this—she did not go unwillingly. She volunteered, with a happy vengeance, became obsessed with John and in love with him, despite his complete lack of interest. And she did not even just do what he did. She decided on her own that no one deserved redemption, & she killed them for fun in traps that wouldn’t let them go even if they did whatever awful thing the trap demanded as a price for life, just for the fun and power trip of watching them die helpless & in agony. That was all her, & her alone. She sat in a house full of people slowly dying from organ decomposition over the course of a few hours, for no crime worse than drug addiction—the thing she of all people should have been most sympathetic to—knowing full well at any time she could have saved them and stopped the game, and did nothing. She held a woman in her arms and stroked her head lovingly while she let her die in one of the most inhumane ways possible for the crime of having not been able to break an addition. She got saved by a 16 year old child multiple times, who had done nothing more than shoplift, and stood by while he had to watch a man get his brains blown out, another burn to death in an oven. As his organs slowly dissolved too. Watched the kid kill another human being & massively traumatize himself to save her life. And responded to that by attacking & knocking him out, tying him up, locking him up for days in a tiny safe bound and gagged with an oxygen supply to keep him alive, to be a piece in another game. Left his father, who had shown up to try & save him, to starve to death in chains in a horrible abandoned rotting room, & never even told him his son was alive. Let every other addict die horribly, let that kid sustain permanent damage to his organs that will kill him young, antidote taken or not, took his dad from him, & went back to torturing without a second thought. Kidnapped a woman whose worst crime was being a doctor & dating someone while maybe separated instead of divorced from her husband, put her in a trap that would take her head off with shotgun blasts, threatened her for fun, & then killed her even after she did everything she was asked, because it was more important to her that the old man she was obsessed with think she was special and great, than for the other woman to get to stay alive another day & go home to her daughter. There is nothing sympathetic about Amanda. She’s just not only evil, but too spineless to take responsibility for her own choices & actions, & tries to hide behind a “UwU I am sad & lonely & damaged & having trauma means I can literally torture people to death to feel special & it’s really tragic and sympathetic about me, not evil. Uhm. Some people??? Commit torture-murders?? To cope??” And acting like she’s somehow a victim in this becuase she is a pretty white girl with short hair? Is fucked. Up.

But every. God damn. Time. I see this. Please. It needs. To stop. People go: “UwU pretty girl short hair want” & I go “Ok. I see where u. Come from. Indeed.” But then. They go. “Girl pretty I like. So she was blameless. For this atrocity.” Those words...

Every day. I wake up. Thinking of Janic saying. Iconically. “At least me and Regina George know we’re mean,” and I weep inside. Because I cannot fathom. Or stomach. The lack of responsibility. I will kill. Characters who cannot admit they are bad. Myself. But somehow. They become. Flames. To moths. Of the “UwU pretty white girl short hair. We stan. Victim. Queen. Love her. Never done wrong.” Boy. We all done wrong. Even all my faves. At least once. I think. ...not if we count dogs probably, but people, yes. Ok. Anyway. All this is to say. Characters. Should be judged. Based on what they did. And why. And the aftermath. Not a grouping tag. I don’t mean any of these. Make bad characters. At all. Amy is a great character. So is Jennifer. So are most of them. I have quite affection even. For Jeneffer specifically. But you can like. Character. Without proclaiming. Them perfect humans. Who never did a thing wrong. Or their acts somehow. Justifiable. And ok. And you better stop saying. Ok. Because done. To men. Men do not. Deserve violence. Any more. Than anyone else. No one deserves violence defacto for factors. Outside their control. Wtf. Really people. It’s ok too. For character. To do much bad stuff. And still like character. Villains. And often just complex characters. Sometimes just characters. Do stuff. That is bad. It’s not supposed to be not their fault. Or ok. Also. Women are not a sisterhood. Of flawless beings. Who never hurt anyone or do any bad stuff. They can. And are. Often purpotrators. Of awful acts. And when they are. It is still. Very bad. Still. An awful act. Same level. Even. Of awful. Wild.

In conclusion.

Having short hair. While a girl. Doesn’t make her a butch queen. Who is absolved of all responsibility for that murder she committed. It just makes her a girl with short hair. That did a murder. I’m gonna. Kill someone. Too. And if I chop my hair off. I guess I can get away with it.

[rogueninja]

Okay so we all know who your top ships are... who are your unpopular ships? Or obscure ships? What characters from what series do you think about often in either good or bad ways? Who is a character that you hate that others love? If you could rewrite a story or part of a book, what would it be and what would you do differently?

Ok I am digging through my brain right now bc if I’m not able to hyperfixate on something then I tend to forget I even liked it. Ok buckle in bc this is gonna be long af. YOU ASKED FOR THIS, REG.

I’m putting a readmore so as not to torture my followers lol

Thinking about Veronica Mars. About Veronica/Logan. Do they have a ship name?? But I love that show and i was THERE for them. They were kind of a surprise ship for me, in that when they got together I was like, wait, WHAT? Like I was totally caught off guard. But there first kiss is, like, sooo romantic to me haha. It’s my fave scene in the show. But Logan is suck a prick sometimes. And they break up like every five minutes. And every season Logan gets accused of murder which of course he ends up not being the murderer. And they get back together eventually and I’m like really? But deep down I am rooting for them lol. I really enjoyed the new season of Veronica Mars that came out last year, actually. The ending made me SO SAD THO.

I also used to watch Supergirl and I thought Kara and Mon-El were adorable. He was very Carswell Thorne-esque, RH, I *think* you would like him. I never watched past season 3(?) though, and he shoots off into space and I never caught up so a few months ago I actually googled what happens and [spoiler] he ends up marrying someone else in the future or something so I was like, ok I’m not investing any more time in this show lol. (Also I had to google Mon-El’s name just now bc i forgot which is a bad look BUT I WAS REALLY RIDE OR DIE FOR THEM FOR A WHILE lol). Also I loved Martian Manhunter in this show, he was my favorite character. But the CGI for him was awful, omg. He had practical makeup at first, they should have just stuck with that.

Speaking of Martian Manhunter, I also used to watch Young Justice and loved Miss Martian/Superboy. Am I basic??? lol oop. But I love basic love stories. Anyway, I thought they were super cute. In season 3 though they’re kind of on the rocks. I haven’t watched season 4. I also loved Artemis/Wally West, but of course that had to end tragically.

Also, let’s talk about Nightcrawler. Allow me to set the scene. Little Kat is 13 and just rediscovered the cartoon she saw a few times as a kid called X-Men: Evolution. And thus, a weird obsession with the German, blue demon boy began. I loved Kurt Wagner. In the cartoon he starts a relationship with Amanda Sefton and I thought they were a-dor-a-ble. She accepted him for who he was, and they had a really nice healthy relationship. A lot of ppl shipped him with Kitty too which i am honestly all for idec I JUST WANT THE BLUE BOI TO BE HAPPY.

Can we talk about A:TLA too??? Like, obviously Zutara, amiright? Power couple. Like, Kataang is.. fine, but its probably my least favorite part about the ending, haha. Also, consider: Tokka. Toph is bae and can get anyone she wants, and she clearly had kind of a crush on Sokka and I think they could have been awesome. It actually kills me that they never say who Lin and Suyin’s father is in LoK. I had a whole theory that it was that kid The Duke from Jet’s band based on like 2 scenes from the series. There’s a tumblr post I made about it somewhere in the ether lol.

I also just remembered Tahnorra (Tahno/Korra) from Legend of Korra. It’s hard for me to explain this one. It’s a weird combination of being hyperfixated on the first season of the show when it came out, and I think I stumbled upon some fic or something???? And I thought Tahno was hot or something??? And FUN FACT, he was voice by Rami Malek BEFORE HE WAS COOL. So like before Rami really got big I knew who he was. He also basically played the Avatar in Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2 and I thought that connection was hilarious. It was kind of a problematic crack pairing but there was one author in particular whom i follow to this day hoping she’ll update her Tahnorra fics…. *sigh*

Okay one last ship…. I used to be ride or die for Outlaw Queen in Once Upon a Time (aka Regina/Robin Hood). Like, before TLC, I had a personal tumblr renaissance for that ship alone. My only existing published fanfic is for that ship. Taylor Swift’s 1989 came out that year and I related every dang song to that ship. I loved Regina so much and I just wanted her to be happy. That show is a dumpster fire, though, and spat all over my hopes and dreams. *sigh*

Also, lightning round for obscure pairings I ship and/or never talk about:

Frank Castle/Karen Page (The Punisher) ok this one isnt that obscure but I never talk about it… but the pining, oh god the pining

Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth (GoT) THEIR 5 SECONDS TOGETHER ARE THE ONLY WORTHY PART OF SEASON 8. everything after that never happened

I already listed Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye (FMAB) as a top pairing previously but I feel the need to mention it again bc it was for real my OG OTP… LIKE U WANNA TALK ABOUT PINING…. *sobs*

Percy/Annabeth (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) This used to be my fave book series and i loved how their relationship developed over the course of the books

Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter) ok can we TALK ABOUT THIS??? They were both badass misfits and they were perfect for each other. But noooo JKR has to announce they marry some nobodies…. this is the only change the last movie did right

Midna/Link (Zelda: Twilight Princess) I honestly have no explanation for this lol

Qui-gon Jinn and Shmi (Star Wars) CAN U IMAGINE if anakin had a proper father figure and didnt have to abandon his mother to slavery

Obi-wan/Satine…. (Star Wars: The clone Wars) we know whats up

OK, to answer some of your other questions: character I hate that others love. HMMMM…….

This one seems too easy/obvious but Professor Snape? Like obviously there’s already a ton of discourse surrounding this but he was gross, mistreated his students for years, committed atrocities, couldn’t get over his high school crush, and we’re supposed to believe he’s a hero in the end and HARRY WOULD NAME HIS SON AFTER HIM….. uh no. “Always” is gross.

I’ve literally been wracking my brain for days and I can’t think of any more characters for this. OK I did some googling and I remembered some LOL.

Ross from friends…. I literally can’t stand him. He’s so entitled and just the worst. He tries to act like he’s the nice, sensitive guy, but really he is so full of himself. Joey on the other hand is portrayed as a womanizer but is actually super sweet and I love him

Archie from Riverdale… I have only seen the first 1.5 seasons ish but he is the worst…. we’re supposed to believe he’s some easygoing musically gifted football player but instead he manages to pull off being bland as heck and actually kind of a terrible garbage person

Nick from chilling adventures of Sabrina. I hate characters that are like hitting on the main character even though she has a bf and are like dark and broody and sexy blah blah blah…. I liked Harvey way better. I never finished season 2 tho

Emma Swan from Once Upon a Time? Idk she was fine she just got old after a while

If you could rewrite a story or part of a book, what would it be and what would you do differently?

HM. First, Harry would name his son Remus Rebeus Potter LOL. Ok but real talk there was a headcanon floating around forever ago that Harry should have become a professor at Hogwarts instead of an auror and I am 100% on board

Ok, ok….. what abouuuttt…… OK, is star wars when Han and Leia get together. I like them as a couple, but the entire first half of the movie Han is being such an ass. And when they kiss the first time, he’s being SOOO creepy. It’s like so quintessentially 80s romance. and HERE’S THE THING. They actually filmed (or maybe just wrote?) a version of that scene that WASNT CREEPY. And i’m like WHY DIDNT YOU USE THAT?!? So I like to pretend that’s the version that actually happened.

This part is way harder than the shipping portion. If I think of anything else i’l dm you. I HOPE YOU ENJOY READING THIS NOVEL LENGTH POST OF ME RAMBLING ABOUT MY FIXATIONS OVER THE LAST 10 YEARS. If anyone actually read this far, you deserve a cup of hot chocolate and a blanket

[the-travelling-witch]

If you were isekai'd to Genshin and the world was about to end...(All of Teyat was about to getting f***ed)

However, After speaking to one of the Gods, they tell you that they will allow you and one other guy to survive while all the others are going to die by your hands whether you try to or not (the seven and adepti included)..

Who you gonna bring to the new world with you?

Who will be the easiest to kill? (as in you will have fun eliminating them)

Who will be the hardest to kill? (You might cry and not have the heart to do it)

Who do you think will retaliate against you?

Who do you think will allow you to do it if it makes you happy?

This is my question for the evening🍪

what an interesting prompt, thank you for taking the time to write this ♡

1. hmm, if i could only choose one… i’ve said it before, my three favs are xiao, childe and scara but for this scenario, let’s focus on xiao and childe

2. baizhu, good bye, no immortality for you; dottore, you can join him (ง'̀-'́)ง

also, to every boss that has ever given me trouble: see you never, good riddance

3. any of the child characters, i could never hurt klee or sayu; also qiqi bc of her backstory, the poor girl already died once and it would break my heart to put her through this again

honestly though, every character would have me reconsider if i could actually do this; just thinking about ayaka, beidou, kazuha, thoma and everyone else would certainly make me want to cry; maybe the fact that they’d have died in the end/apocalypse anyway could console me a little but i’d go into the new world with a heavy heart and a bit of trauma

4. who would fight back… i think the harbingers certainly would; childe is 1) always up for a fight and 2) this man wants to conquer the world, so moving on into the new world would be a step into the right direction for him (might try and talk me into choosing him over xiao)

scara is not one to give up control over a situation and if scheming his way out won’t work, i don’t think he’d shy away from a confrontation

5. in contrast, xiao would not fight me; he saw his fellow adepti perish, committed atrocities before meeting morax and suffered greatly under his karmic debt, he might have made peace with no longer being around; if i’m someone he cares about (which i hope i am), he’d want me to live and move on without being burdened by a similar weight

i think the archons and adepti would be the ones who’d understand the situation best, they are used to dealing with matters of this scale, so i think they might be the ones who wouldn’t try to change their fate; i’m on the fence for the tsaritsa and raiden shogun though bc for the former we still don’t know her motive for the whole gnoses stealing thing, maybe a new world would be right up her alley? and well for raiden, this isn’t exactly “eternity” but in her story quest and teapot interactions, we see that she is working on her definition of eternity and cherishes the traveller, so maybe she would willingly stay behind in teyvat

xiao would feel extremely guilty if he would be the only one besides me who would get to move on, he’d ask himself if he truly deserves this after everything he’s done; however, with teyvat’s demise, the malice and hatred of the gods he’s slain should also perish, so maybe xiao can finally experience a life without his karmic debt, a life without the contract binding him to liyue; a fresh start in a world where he can be more than a tool or a weapon

childe would be absolutely thrilled to explore a new world and search for strong opponents to fight, he’d be eager to establish his place at the top soon after his arrival; here he can do things his way, the straight forward way, without being a pawn in someone else’s plan; although, all of this would have to wait until he properly mourned the loss of his family…

[prodigaldaughteralice]

alice liveblogs infinity war

we’re watching infinity war finally and I’m already mad at it or being grimdark

(spoilers I didn’t like it. also there’s some vague SU and PMMM spoilers in here because I ramble.)

like the end of Ragnarok was SO GOOD with the asgardian refugees and then they just fucking kill them all and the whole pre-credits bit was just pointless

also they pretended to kill Loki and that guy is never actually dead but it pissed me off

also I’m sad I’m so sick of Cumberbatch because I really like the idea of having a straight up wizard in your main party of superheroes

I’m glad Banner got to hug the shit outta Tony though

I really like this spider-man! I haven’t seen his movie yet but he has the goofy wisecracking that I loved about the comics as a kid DOWN

IRON MAN SPIDER SUIT?

why does tony stark have a samsung POS for a phone

and the Guardians show up and the mood immediately lightens; I am SO GRATEFUL TO THEM AND OH MAN MANTIS IS HERE I LOVE HER

HI THOR

your last movie was way better than this one

drax has the hugest boner for thor and I do not blame him but I would understand it a little more if he still had his luscious hair

THE FAMILY FUCK UPPERY COMPETITION I THOUGHT THAT WAS A TUMBLR JOKE

“all words are made up”ilu thor

okay who tf is this now in the fancy apartment with a glowy thing in his head am I supposed to know this????? THAT’S FUCKING VISION???????

also is that scarlet witch with him? I should probably point out that I watched Civil War once and I did not pay much attention because it was annoying the shit out of me

yep that’s scarlet witch here come her glowy things

designated girl fight time ughhhh

oH MY GOD STEVE ROGERS SHAVE THAT BEARD OFF RIGHT NOW nat what did you do to your hair did the director decide there could only be one ginger woman

oh I’m glad they got an excuse to reuse those awesome monster designs from the first Avengers flick in this flashback with baby Gamora

okay though I know they probably did it to make him look more like the comics but I cannot take Thanos seriously with that fucking CHIN he is committing hideous atrocities and now I am just annoyed and my immersion is broken

it is so obvious Gamora knows where the last stone is that I genuinely hope the secret is actually something else

...drax. why. stop eating. mantis you have saved me from that terrible joke I love you.

at this point it’s making me genuinely sad that I’ve been spoilered about the dust thing. like. I know he’s gonna get everything? I know he’s gonna ~win~ and oh my god drax fucking stop

THANK YOU MANTIS YOU HAVE RESCUED ME THIS DAY

FUCK YEAH GAMORA ABUSIVE DAD STABBING

oh jesus the blocks of clay/strips of paper effect is freaky as shit

jesus jesus this whole scene is freaking the shit out of me god ugh why there is no genuine point to dragging this scene out it’s just Suffering there are times in my life where I would be okay with it but Ugh

it genuinely took me a few seconds of Weird Romantic Music for me to remember they paired nat and bruce off in that one movie that was some weird shit can we just move on

YOOO IT’S WAKANDA TIME

...that was disappointingly brief

okay there is way too much torture in this movie. that’s the issue. physical emotional et cetera too much torture

I love spider-man though he’s a good boy

strange and tony are both the exact kind of arrogant asshole that you’re supposed to identify with but instead just annoys the shit out of me and spider-man is this scene’s only saving grace 

okay this new philosophy for Thanos since they can’t have him being in love with Death bc that would lead to Deadpool issues... it’s very... Kyuubey.

FUCK NO NEBULA SHIT BABY I LOVE HER AND THIS IS BULLSHIT I’M SO MAD JESUS THIS WHOLE FILM IS ABOUT TORTURE AND I HATE ITjesus jesus nope nope stop nope this is bullshit fuck

thor speaks groot and I am relieved but I miss movies where the default was thor speaking groot and there were only occasional dips into misery

why is thor trying to get a new hammer there was a whole deal in his last film about how he doesn’t need the hammer AND A ROBOT EYE? so they’re just gonna tear apart all the symbols of his character development? whyyyyyyyyy

groot put down your fucking ds

...is that peter dinklage as a giant I kind of love that

I’m glad Nebula pulled herself together I love herrrrrrr

they’re on a planet called Titan!! GAAANEYMEDE AND TITAN, YESSIR I’VE BEEN AROUUUUND... BUT THERE AIN’T NO PLACE IN THE WHOLE OF SPAAAAAACE... LIKE THAT GOOD OLD TITAN TOWN

“you’ll have to restart the forge... awaken the heart of a dying star” okay so it’s a side quest

mantis is bouncing around I love her

did Peter just adopt Peter as an uncle

...is that red fucking skull? like from hydra? why is there a nazi in space

the stone demands a sacrifice UGHHHHH this is DUMB this movie has no idea what genre it is so it’s just taking the superficial cliches from every one it finds

ughhHHHHHH and it’s gonna count her as ~someone he loves~ even though he’s just been a dickwad fucker who’s tortured her her whole life THAT ISN’T LOVE ASSHOLES ughhhhh fucking shit also attempted suicide on screen definitely did not make my night any better fuck this fuck this fuck this movie with a bread knife STOP HAVING DRAMATIC SHOTS OF HIM CRYING THIS IS BULLSHIT.

oh and now he’s floating in the void. on a cloud. in a pond. great. I don’t care.

wait all that and it’s not even the big stone for the back of the hand???? it’s a lil knuckle one???

rhodey just pranked the shit out of bruce and the mood whiplash is killing me

I fucking love shuri okay every second we are in wakanda is a gift and a relief from the rest of the movie

...explosions. of course.

“and get this man a shield” FUCK YES

I would like to interrupt this to point out that my cat is a perfect loaf on the floor and I love him

...suddenly there are monster hordes? where did they even come from? I mean out of the ships obviously but this is fucking stupid

oh my god all the wakandans with their badass ranged spear technology and then bucky is just standing there with a fucking gatling gun

black panther is a badass and I appreciate action sequences when they’re well done but this is not tied together enough for me to be invested I guess?

okay but there is legit zero explanation for why thor isn’t dying in the heat of the star? like. he just Decided Not To Die??? like. I would be fine if he was like “I have expanded my powers since I moved past my hammer, I think I can take it” or whatever but they just decided to have him be like “IT’LL ONLY KILL ME IF I DIE” which is just. dumb. 

ohhhh so they’re resurrecting him with the axe. which is not a thing we ever said the axe could do. okay. okay sure. sure. fine.

groot handle is badass but there’s been so much torture and self harm in this movie that having him whack his own arm off just is not fun even if he regrew it immediately

I’m glad thor is glowing again though.

ughhhhh thanos’s philosophy is so dumb I’m so done with hearing it YES DROP THE BUILDING LAPIS LAZULI THIS SHIT awwww he just got back up again I mean I guess BD did too DID DRAX JUST FUCKING HAMSTRING HIM

don’t you dare call him an insect arachnids aren’t insects ya purple dingus

NEBULAAAAAAAAAAA

they look like they’re gonna succeed but it’s too early in the movie and I want them to succeed right now so this movie will be over but also bc whatever they do to get him out of this will feel dumb

“he is in anguish” I DON’T GIVE A SHIT.

DO NOT ENGAGE DO NOT ENGAGE SHIT

ughhhhHHHHHHH. GAMORA WOULD NOT HAVE WANTED YOU TO FUCK OVER THE OPERATION LIKE THIS. GODDAMNIT.

...any tree can drop an apple, he’s gonna drop the freakin’ moon?

BUCKY SPINNING WITH ROCKET IS HILARIOUS I LOVE IT also thor and cap’s moment of banter see THAT is what I like about these movies when they’re done well

scarlet witch is OP as fuck and I love her

designated girl fight x4????? we can mix it up a little okay????

bruce arguing with hulk is somehow relatable???

I love spidey’s robo legs tbh they’re super fun HE CAN’T REMEMBER NAMES FUCKIN RELATABLE

okay yes I still love having a wizard in the party I just wish it wasn’t THIS guy

did you just fucking stab tony that’s bullshit

“spare his life and I will give you the stone” WHY THAT IS A SHITTY DEAL TO MAKE HE’S ALREADY DYING ANYWAY this is a trick, right?

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

vision’s thanos-sense is tingling and I wanna go to bed like screw this

put some fucking sleeves on you big grape flavoured asshole

do we even know why Wanda’s energy is the only one that can destroy the stone? Was that explained and I missed it?

YO SHE BROKE THE THING

“I understand, my child... better than anyone” NO YOU DON’T ASSHOLE YOU KILLED THE PERSON YOU’VE BEEN MANIPULATING AND HARMING HER WHOLE FUCKING LIFE FUCK YOU

...he just undid it with the time powers THAT’S CHEAP AS FUCK ughhhhhhhhh also he just put that narrow oval gem into a nearly circular and much larger setting so fuck that

FUCK YEA THOR ugh this isn’t gonna stick is it ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

is that baby gamora UGHHHH “what did it cost?” “everything” I DON’T BELIEVE ANYTHING FAUX-SENTIMENTAL YOU SAY

and it’s time for the dusties. I got spoiled this happened but I don’t know who all it happened to

fuck this though

genuinely so pissed STOP TAKING THE BEST ONES NO NOT SPIDEY FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCJ YOU FUCL UOI

fuck this entire fucking movie

ughhhhh and I really like the actor who plays Thanos he’s awesome in everything else I’ve seen him in but this entire movie was like. there was no point? they shoved so many people into one place that there were just sidequests instead of a plot. I want to go to bed tbh. Maybe I will be able to articulate my irritation later but UGHHHH.