#she fell into this backwards for sure. I don't think book 1 she had the Nexus Curse in mind as some commentary about corrupt power structur

[crow-caller]

rewatching your nightbane review and getting genuinely mad about how much the concept of a magically-bound divine right of kings (and how the populace can’t overthrow their rulers without all dying) fucking rules and how alex aster WASTED it. begging another fantasy author to please write this idea but like. good

(also your proclamation in that video that grim has “ice-cold yaoi hands” has haunted me since it came out. why did you speak that into the world social media user crow caller. why)

1. was there when the yaoi hands reigned. I know the signs and know them well. never call me a social media user ever again.

2. The divine right of kings thing Aster backward stumbles into IS very cool conceptually, you're right!! I nearly brought this up in my Skyshade review, but then realized it'd be the weirdest pull: Fallen London has an extremely good version of the same concept. I'm so so so sorry FL for referring to you as anything similar to Lightlark, but if you're interested in how 'magically bound divine right of kings which keeps a populace under control, treated as innate to the world but secretly artificial' can be done well.... well. let me tell you about The Chain.

The Great Chain of Being is a concept that the world is divided into a strict hierarchy, with some above others. In FL, the beings at the top are Judgements- cosmic gods who burn as bright as suns (okay, they are suns). They sit at the top of The Chain with the understanding This Is The Way The World is- they are often referred to as 'Kings', because they are analogous to them in many ways. Why do the Kings rule over us? Because the Chain is a facet of the universe, the Chain is true and says they are better than us. Why does the Chain say this? Because it is true.

.......Except, of course, it isn't. The Judgements created the chain, as kings created the Divine Right of Kings- to excuse their excess of power and abuse of it, they create the lie there is a divine truth to the world which just so happens to put them at the top. The universe doesn't make some people better than others, but some people will say it does in order to get away with heinous acts*. In FL, the Judgements abuse their power in far wilder cosmic horrors ways, able to enforce this division with their ability to rewrite reality with burning words. This power is again not necessarily something innate to them because they are sooo special- it is something they have because The Chain they've created to control reality says so.

This is key worldbuilding to fallen london, and is Sick As Hell- though quite Deep Lore, not apparent or relevant when you first begin playing.

(*The Great Chain is a real concept originating from medieval Christianity, which very much places all the world into a strict hierarchy with God at the top- followed by man, descending through various animals, and even including plants and minerals. A key aspect of the Chain was that this 'Absolute Hierarchy' was real, innate, holy, and... of course, an excuse for all kinds of racism. Sure, maybe they did think it mattered to decide lichen was closer to god than mushrooms, but ultimately an obvious reason the philosophy took root was to justify why certain humans mattered more than others.)

[centercitychronicals]

Center City Chronicles: Tzu-tza X Anya

So in an effort to make sure I write this whole book out, I'm gonna be posting chapters here. Hope ya'll end up enjoying the story, it's my Lemurian universe I'm trying to flesh out. I'll still be doing Oc x reader posts in between when I get writer's block with the series though.

18+ story, but this first chapter I don't think would be considered NSFW, but I still am putting a cut to stay consistent since next chapter gets slightly steamy. Also feel free to comment constructive criticism, It'll help me make this enjoyable for all of ya'll reading this for the long run!!

Chapter 1 Tzu-tza

Tzu-tza’s tail wrapped around the rolling chair’s leg in his excitement. Today was to be the day that he was moving ground cities… ok so it was only going to be for a month, but he had high hopes that it would end up being permanent. He spun in the chain while he waited for the holo vid connection to finish trying to connect to Anya’s. 

“Anya…”, he sighed dreamily. She was to be his mate or well, wife in human terms. She was human after all and he was trying to make a point of incorporating the terms of her people into his vocabulary, but he still liked the term mate more. It felt more significant that the description that pulled up when you searched for the word wife. 

As he continued to daydream about her, the chime of the holo connecting made him jump and nearly topple from his chair as he flinched backwards, and then scrambled to both fling himself to face the holo vid and right the chair before he fell.

“Snnck,” Anya made a sound, trying to keep from snorting at what he was sure was what she saw on screen. Just seeing her, and hearing her mirth kept him from feeling too embarrassed by the situation.

“Anya! You uh…” He cleared his throat and steered the conversation away from his moment of clumsiness. “How are you on this fantastic day, love?” He beamed at her and she mirrored his happy expression while he leaned in, staring at her lovingly. 

Honestly, how did he ever get so lucky as to meet her on the dating nexus. Out of all the humans still alive after the invasion that had rocked both their worlds, he had found her. ‘Anya…’, he thought to himself happily as he waited for her to recount her day so far.

It was early in the day, so he was sure not too much had to have happened yet, but he still wanted to check in on how she was since last night. Was he clingy? Sure maybe some people would think that way, namely the females of his race, but Anya was different, she didn’t mind if he clinged a little… or alot at times.

“Good so far, finished packing this morning so I should get there by the time you get through your side of customs. What about yours Tzu-tsa?” He would never get over hearing her say his name. Alot of his fantasies were just of hearing it sighed from her lips.

“Fantastic! I’ve been packed since last night, aaaand…” He drew out the word as he bent over to open his duffle bag and pull out a fabric wrapped gift, before sitting back up and showing the small bundle with a grin. “I have a gift for you.” He finished, hoping she would be happy to know he was bringing her something. 

“Oh Tzu-tza, you didn’t have to do that.” She said, face falling slightly and he swallowed, not sure why she wasn’t excited at the idea of getting a gift. His eyes darted to it quickly and his smile lost a bit of its luster. Was it too small? Is it because he ruined the surprise of bringing a gift in a roundabout way?

“I wanted to,” He tried to reassure her, “Really, I just brought it up because I didn’t want to forget to give it to you if I got carried away when I see you later today. Do you not… want it?” He trailed off, second guessing the gift idea. 

“Oh no no. I actually love that you got me a gift, because I’m bringing you one too. I just don’t want you to feel like you had to go out of the way for me.” Anya said softly, her features brightening back to her earlier expression and Tzu-tza felt relieved that he hadn’t done something wrong with bringing the gift up via holo. Though he didn’t like that she thought he went out of his way to get her one.

“Oh good, I was worried… I mean good about you wanting the gift, not that…” He was munching his tail fur with this. Why did he still get so tongue-tied around her? Sighing, Tzu-tza slumped in his chair slightly. “Sorry, I suppose I’m just nervous since we finally get to meet in person.” He admitted softly and Anya’s expressions softened so that she smiled lovingly back at him at the admission.

“I know saying, “Don’t be” probably doesn’t help, but there really isn’t any reason to be worried Tzu-tza.” She began and it only slightly helped his nerves, but he appreciated her attempt. “Though I’m a bit nervous too.” She whispered conspiratorially and winked in a way that had him snorting and relaxing further.

After that, a few hours went by as they chatted about any and everything before Anya had to reluctantly hang up so she could start heading to customs. Tzu-tza sighed as the connection ended and he stretched, popping his back and then tail, since it was an extension of his spine and also liked to kink up on him when sitting still for too long.

Looking around at his small apartment, he couldn’t say that he was going to miss it. He was met with four corner posts of cement, and whatever metal they used to construct the small dwelling, to help hold up the weight of the many floors above him. It was his, and he was grateful to have had it, but it wasn’t a home. Not really anyways.

At one point he had tried to decorate, but it was pricey and honestly he had never felt like wasting his credits on this place. His species female’s were so few now that he knew he had no chance with one of them. Nor did he really want to have had a chance.

They were larger than him, than any of the males of their species really, and highly aggressive. It was why they were out, above ground, on the ruins of Earth helping the human military defend the underground cities that everyone just shortens to the term ground cities, not wanting to be reminded where they lived. 

It was a quirk picked up from the humans, since his species was more than comfortable living below the surface. But the humans are who they all liked to follow along with in many of the trends. What with it being mainly the males of his species left, and almost all of them were enamored with the humans.

Slowly he got up and double checked his bag to make sure everything he was bringing with him was in there. Happy that he had everything he wanted to keep in the immediate month following today, he left his apartment with a grin. 

Here and there he saw males with their children, and he hoped to be like them one day. Anya having children didn’t really matter to him, sure he hoped she would have them with him one day, but if they never had kids? Well he would just doubly spoil her. But still, a small male with tiny toes and her adorable rounded ears would be a delight. Or even a spitfire of a daughter with talons would be just as charming.

Though, honestly, if they ever did have kids before above ground was safe, he would probably prefer daughters. A daughter would be able to protect herself a lot easier than a son would, but he didn’t like the idea of her going to the front lines if that was the case. Regardless, he would ultimately be happy with however their life turned out, because he would have a loving mate to call his own, and he was sure they would be mates. Because he had never loved anyone like he already loved Anya.

Lost in thought he didn’t realize how fast he made it to customs, and once he did? The nerves set in, hard. While he was elated to finally cross over from his ground city to the one connecting both his and the human’s ground city together. He couldn’t help the way his heart began to beat, nor the way his palms began to sweat.

What if his height actually ended up bothering Anya afterall? He was used to the attraction standards being an almost 180 from what the humans had. What if she saw him and immediately thought having a taller mate was grotesque? While he looked similar enough to her species, as humans and lemurians were close enough genetically that they were practically cousins. 

Plenty of hybrid children had already been born already from mating between the two species these past few years. Yet still he was a good foot taller than her at 7’1 and she being 5’6. He wasn’t used to that, and while he found the idea of a shorter mate charming - definitely all the easier to snuggle and love on - he also knew that human males didn’t normally have that sort of height advantage on their females either.

Pursing his lips he shook his head to try and clear his worries away. There was no use panicking over this, if she didn’t want someone taller she would have brought it up by now… he hoped at least. Then slowly, he made his way to customs.

[selfloverrrrrr]

You're alone...? (Part-2)

Warnings : Noncon, kissing, Kidnapping, biting, size difference, Yandere Gojo, protective, jealous, Mafia Au....

Summary: Gojo and Sukuna are rivals. Sukuna pulled Gojo's trigger without any reason now Gojo came to take revenge....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Masterlist

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

Part 1

The next morning I woke up. I slowly opened my eyes. The sunlight hit my eyes. When my eyes gets adjust with the light I saw I was in a bedroom. A luxury bedroom. That's not my bedroom! Where was I? I've never seen this bedroom in my entire life! I tried to get out of the bed I felt a soreness between my legs. Then I remembered what happened last night! Fuck how did I forget what that bitch did!! I hate Gojo. And now I really think that brother was really right.

I had a luxury bedroom too but this was on another level. Then another question came in my mind. If Gojo kidnapped me for my brother Sukuna.... then why am I in a luxury room? He won't treat his worst enemie's sister like this! I got up from the bed and saw I was in a white dress. He gave me a dress?.... But why?

I heard a sound of the door opening. There was a maid standing there. I looked at her. "Ma'am your breakfast is ready" she said. Breakfast? Why the fuck are they treating me as if I'm there guest. " I don't need breakfast" I replied and got out of the room beside her. "Ma'am please eat or Mr.Gojo gonna kill us." She said. "Tell him I said to kill himself first" I replied her and started walking through the hallway.

I stopped infront of a room which's door was open. There was Gojo sitting. It was Gojo's office. He was talking with Yuta and Megumi. When I reached the room Gojo looked at me. I went inside. "Why the fuck you took me here???" I said. Gojo looked at Yuta and Megumi and they went out of the room. Gojo looked at the maid behind me. "Did you gave her breakfast?" He asked her. "N-No ... She d-didn't ate" she replied. "Didn't I told you to give her breakfast?!" Gojo said in a cold tone. "S-sir I did but she said..." She spoke "what she said?" Gojo asked. "S-she said to tell you to kill yourself" she said in a whisper. Gojo smirked and looked at me "oh?" Then again looked at the maid "gimme the breakfast" he said.

The maid bring the breakfast and give it to Gojo. "Eat it" he said. "Fuck you!" I said with grinded teeth. "We already did last night, darling" he said with a smirk. I glared at him. "Keep your breakfast to yourself.... and don't act like you care!" I said. He started walking towards me and I started walking backwards. My legs touched the couch and I fell on it. Gojo seat beside me. "I. Said. Eat. It" Gojo said seriously. Tbh I am kinda scared of him. I try to cover it but I am. I took the plate from his hand and start eating. "Now was it that tough?" He said with a smirk. I looked away with a blush on my cheeks and continued eating.

Some time passed. I was again in that bedroom. A maid entered the room. There was a flower vase with full of roses in her hand. She placed it on the night stand. She was about to leave. "Hey...can I ask you something?" I asked. "Sure ma'am" she replied. " Is this a guest room or something...?" I asked. " No no... It's Mr.Gojo's private bedroom" she replied. His private bedroom? Why is he keeping me in his private room? Strange! "Umm... can u tell me....Why am I in this room ?" I asked. "I don't know ma'am.... Mr.Gojo told us to keep you here" she replied. "Oh... okey " I replied. But I still can't understand why is he keeping me here?!

An hour or two passed. I was reading a book which the maid gave. Suddenly the door opened. " Hey Gojo... Just do the deal I'm waiting for too long!!" A guy said hurshly. He was tall. Not taller than Gojo. He has blonde hair and sharp eyes. He looked at me with curious. He kinda looks creepy.

"G-gojo isn't here" I said. " Who are you? I knew Gojo doesn't like or have any whores... Neither he's interested in any relationship..." He said. " She's y/n, Mr.Noya .... Sister of Sukuna " his bodyguard said from behind. Then Noya again looked at me with a smirk. " Sukuna's sister working as a slut for Gojo?" He said. " Gojo won't mind if I have fun with her for a few time" he said and started walking towards me.

My eyes widened. He was infront of the bed. I started climbing upwards. "Don't come close!" I said. "Shh... You're just a woman... women should obey what a guy says " he said. He was too close to me. Suddenly someone grabbed Noya from behind, turned him around and choked him on the bed. It was Gojo. He was choking Noya so hard that Noya couldn't breathe. " How fucking dare you!!!! You tried to touch her!...are you wishing for your death?!" Gojo said with grinded teeth. Noya was slapping Gojo's hand to get out of his grab.

Gojo punched him with his another hand. "Do. Not. Look. At. Her. With. Your. Fucking. Eyes." Gojo said and threw him on the floor. Noya was breathing heavily. "Yuta throw him out of my house and tell him I'm not gonna have any deals with the zenin anymore" he said. They all went out and closed the door.

Gojo looked at me. I looked at him. Tears falling down eyes. He sit infront of me. " Hey hey... don't cry" he said and grabbed my hands "it's okey... I'm here" he said. "H-he.... He called me a s-slut" I sobbed. ' fuck! I called her that too last night....but why didn't she said anything to Me?' Gojo thought. " Don't worry.... If he ever even try to think about you I'll blow his fucking skull!" He said hugging me tightly. Why does it feels so safe in his arms??? He's not anything to Me... then why? I was still sobbing. Gojo grabbed my chin and tilted my head up. He pressed his lips on mine. I didn't pulled away this time! I want to pull away he's not anything to Me! But I couldn't! And I let him kiss me.

PART 3

Give me your requests guys...

I love when you give me your requests 💗

[p0tat0-g0ddess]

thank you for the tag @vellatra! Clearing the reblogs because this is getting to be a very long post.

(Cracks knuckles, sorts google docs by “most recently modified by me”)

From most to least recent,

(1) (Minecraft) Labor of the Lonely Heir:

Harvin tugged the brim of his hat down over his eyes, grimacing as he attempted to peer through the pouring rain. Night was falling fast, and with it had come a truly loathsome storm.

(2) (Minecraft) Lesson One:

You squinted down at the map in your hands, confirming that your representative dot was, in fact, on top of the X, before lifting your gaze back up to the building in front of you.

(3) (Minecraft) The Sins of the Father:

Herobrine's home was burning.

Ashes floated down all around him, dying embers stinging where they touched his bare skin, but he paid them no heed. He could feel nothing.

(4) (LEGO Ninjago) Save What Has Been Lost:

Lloyd chewed his lip as he gazed up at the monastery, watching as Kai and Nya’s fusion dragon circled the Iron Doom. 

“You’re sure I shouldn’t help?” He voiced at last.

“No, Lloyd.” Master Wu, hunched over where he sat at the base of a tree, shook his head. “We must not affect the future any more than we can help.”

(5) (Minecraft) Blood Bound (oneshot collection):

Caden cast a glance at Steven, chewing his lip. "Do you have, like… a ladder, or a stepstool, or something?"

"I'm afraid not." Steven shook his head. "I could grab my chair from my desk-?"

"No way!" Brine interjected from the next room over. "Don't you remember what Officer Buckle says? Never stand on a swivel chair!" He poked his head into the room to find them both staring at him in bewilderment. "Neither of you- okay, it's an old children's book, stop looking at me like that."

(6) (Minecraft) Remember Everything (oneshot collection):

Herobrine scowled at the passerby that gawked at him, yanking the hood of his traveling cloak further over his head.

“I think I preferred it when they hated me.” He muttered under his breath.

(7) (Minecraft) Council of the Heir:

The young woman stared down the hill at the small, quaint farm that rested at the base. She squinted, rubbed at her eyes, then looked again. Still there.

“Well.” She muttered. “This isn’t how I expected my Monday afternoon to go.”

(8) (Minecraft) bad dreams (oneshot collection):

Steve opened the door to Alex's room, holding up a torch to find her sitting hunched up against the wall beside her bed. He didn't bother asking why, as the muffled cries from beneath the cabin were the reason he'd gone to check on her in the first place.

(9) (Lego Monkie Kid) (untitled LMK oneshot):

Nezha stood stone-faced with his arms crossed over his chest, regarding the figure that stood in front of him for a few moments before finally breaking his silence.

“I was expecting the Demon Bull King.”

“Well, my father is occupied.” Red Son told him haughtily, pushing his glasses up his nose. “You ought to be thankful, Lotus Prince. You could have gotten no one at all.”

(10) (Minecraft) His World:

"Come on!" Annabelle patted the side of her boat, bending over backward to get the cricks out of her back. Her dog abandoned his heedless chase of a rabbit and barreled towards the boat, launching himself inside and nearly sending the vessel off to sea without her. "Hey!" Annabelle grabbed the side, laughing as her dog fell in an ungraceful heap in the bottom of the rowboat. "Skip!" Unperturbed, Skip scrambled back to his feet, panting merrily.

Tagging uhhhh @christian-latte-anon, @ldinkaofficial @galaxythedragonshifter aaaaand I can’t think of any more fic writers off the top of my head so. YOU 🫵 if you see this post and write fanfiction, you are tagged.

Rules: Share the first lines of your most recent ten fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway

From most recent to least recent :)

Edit: OHHHH I MISREAD I MISREAD!!! I thought this was specifically about fics you’ve posted. Ohhh.

Well, have the first lines out of my most recent posted stories XD

1. Unempty Boats (a poem rather than a regular fanfic)

You said you were going away

and then it started to rain.

At first I thought you meant something, but then I realized

that you meant something else.

2. Pebbles, Wood Lice, and Other Alright Things

Tommy shifts, wincing as he feels a pebble pressing into his back. It seems like he can feel every single pebble beneath him tonight, no matter how small. He didn't used to; he used to have a mattress, and the mattress was thick enough to block out all the rocks. It was comfortable, too. He and Wilbur both slept on mattresses when they first got to Pogtopia, but then Techno told them that the mattresses would get all moldy because the caves are damp. Tommy told him that he didn't care and that he could handle a little mold, but Wilbur—stupid Wilbur—agreed with Techno, so they'd tossed the mattresses. Now they sleep on the ground, with one blanket beneath each of them. The blanket doesn't really do much to protect against the rocks. It's not very comfortable either.

3. Endless Field, Singing Tree, Blue Sweater (Dandelion)

Ghostbur is in a dark place.

4. Better Than a Painting, Because Paintings Aren’t Perfect

Wilbur hasn't been to a beach in over thirteen years.

5. If You Want Love

"Do you want to hold him?"

6. keep running for the sink, but the well is dry

You're having a panic attack.

7. Little Songs

Ghostbur knows he shouldn’t stare into the sun.

8. Promise Me You Won’t Leave (This Time)

It's around seven in the evening when Wilbur bursts through the door.

9. I Was Nothing But A Kid Who Couldn’t Understand

It's gotta be here somewhere.

10. Cool People Don’t Draw Bees

Tubbo waits.

I like how every single fic (excluding the poem, which is obviously formatted differently) starts with a single sentence, apart from number two which is a hekkin monster of a paragraph sjsgajgsjsfsg my goodness-

No pressure tags: @biathediamond @thisistheendtimes @cryingtulips @icyfox17 @salineroses @kanerallels @thatfriendlyanon @cats-inthe-cradle @winterinhimring and anyone else who wants to hop in! :)

[lepusrufus]

Double edged scalpel ch.4

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3

Summary: Daniela wingman Dimitrescu

---

Who knew that a door could look so intimidating. The dark wood decorated with golden floral patterns and the Dimitrescu crest in the middle wasn’t unlike most other doors in the castle. This door however had one big difference from the rest: it was the door to Cassandra’s bedroom.

Nicole had crossed paths with Daniela earlier, who wasted no time in placing the duty of fetching the middle sister for dinner upon her. Oh well. She was supposed to meet the brunette anyways. Tomorrow at sundown, Cassandra had said. And that was just after dinner. But the lingering feeling of their lips together, deep in a hidden nook in the garden, left Nicole unsure on what to expect from her.

With a final deep breath, she knocked on the door.

It was silent for a few long seconds. She was about to knock again, sure that Cassandra was still sleeping, but was stopped by a groggy reply that she took as her cue to enter.

“Lady Daniela sent me to let you know dinner will be ready soon.”

Nicole had a split second when she regretted each and every decision that led up to that very moment when she noticed the brunette stirring awake, naked body thankfully covered by soft blankets. Cassandra didn’t seem to mind though, as she yawned and stretched her arms like a lazy cat would.

“That’s a weird way to say Daniela is lazy and sent you to do her job.” She grabbed her watch from the nightstand. “Ugh, it’s early.” It’s 7 p.m.

From where she stood, looking anywhere but at the brunette, Nicole wasn’t sure how to respond. It’s not as if she could’ve said no to Daniela’s request. Or, to be more accurate, order. Apparently Cassandra didn’t wait for a reply, as she got out of bed and shuffled to her dresser, hopefully to put some clothes on. With one of her typical black dresses now on, she tiptoed to the other occupant in the room.

“Modest, are we,” she said, placing her hands on Nicole’s waist, not unlike she did many times before.

“Just trying not to get my eyes gouged out.” Hopefully Cassandra still appreciated her humor.

The brunette slowly spinned the other girl around so she could look in her eyes, as if she were a child inspecting a newly received christmas gift. “Mm...you can keep them. Now come on, spend some time with me since Dani insisted on you waking me up so early.”

Thanks Daniela.

Nicole felt herself get pulled further into the room, barely having time to take in all the trinkets and decor inside before she was tugged down to sit in Cassandra’s lap.

Well… best possible scenario.

This time there was no hesitation when their lips connected, one hand finding its place at the brunette's nape, pulling her close. Cassandra let out a small moan when she felt nails scratch lightly against her scalp, which Nicole took as an opportunity to slip her tongue past black painted lips. They kissed until Cassandra pulled back, opting instead to leave a trail of kisses and black lipstick on her jawline, down her throat, and finally her collarbone. The kisses were getting increasingly more aggressive, with nips at the skin and finally teeth dragging at the crook of Nicole's neck.

Cassandra inhaled deeply but pulled her mouth away from the skin, resting her forehead against that spot instead. When she spoke, her tone was dripping with barely held back desire.

"If you want me to stop, you should go."

Oh no, Nicole didn't just shove her tongue in her god damn mouth for them to stop. Whatever crumble of self preservation was left within her, it got booted out the metaphorical front door of her brain the moment she got pulled into the brunette's lap. The only thing that made her hesitate for a second was whether or not Cassandra could bite someone without actually killing them.

"Do not go near the jugular.”

And Cassandra listened. She dragged her teeth from the neck, down to the shoulder and, after an uncharacteristically gentle kiss to the spot, she sunk her now sharp fangs in the flesh.

Nicole couldn't stop a whimper from escaping past her lips at the sudden jolt of pain. But the sensation of soft lips on her skin and Cassandra's low moan at the taste of her blood made for the perfect mixture of pleasure and pain.

"Cassa- ah," she moaned her name, fingers tangled in black hair which only seemed to spur her on.

The pain steadily faded, leaving behind only a tingling sensation. It stopped her brain from putting together any coherent thought, almost as if being drunk without the actual alcohol. But blood loss instead. Nicole tugged lightly on Cassandra's hair when dizziness started to make itself present. When that did nothing, she pulled with slightly more force.

"Cassandra-" she let out a pained groan, mild panic slipping into her voice.

That made the brunette snap out of it, forcefully pulling herself back and eyeing the bloody mess on Nicole's shoulder. She caught the redhead by the arms for support when she slumped forward slightly, pinching the bridge of her nose with a soft ugh. How much blood can a human lose again? Fourteen percent? And Nicole was also quite small.

Cassandra stretched to grab a tissue from the nightstand and pressed it against the puncture wounds, frowning when Nicole flinched at the pain it caused.

"Uh...are you okay?"

Nicole took a deep breath before replying. "-m good. You should...uh go though. I'll go lay down and-...and meet you after dinner." Then she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment to try to alleviate the dizziness and tried to stand up.

Cassandra grimaced at how wobbly Nicole's movement's were and guided her back down, on the soft mattress. The redhead didn't protest, not that she really could anyways.

"No. Stay here, you're no good if you just fall and crack your skull open against a stairwell."

"But-"

Cassandra ignored her, only pushing her down to rest against one of the many pillows littering the bed. "No buts, this is an order from your lady. Now take a nap or something and I'll fetch you after dinner."

Nicole saw her turn around and exit the room, door shutting with a heavy thump. She felt too dizzy to try and fight back. And after all, why would she? The bed was incredibly soft, almost as if it was cradling her small body, inviting her to fall asleep. She slowly pulled one of the blankets up to her waist and positioned herself in such a way that the tissue wouldn't fall from her shoulder. A short nap was all she needed, then she'd be up by the time dinner was done. It only took shutting her eyes for a few seconds to fall asleep, the haze in her mind receding into comforting nothingness.

---

Hot. She felt so incredibly hot. How could Cassandra sleep amongst all these pillows and blankets in the middle of August?

She groaned and stirred, tissue forgotten and covered in dry blood by now. She turned around, trying to find a colder spot and sighed contently upon finding a cool pillow to bury her face into.

Since when did pillows hum?

Nicole snapped her eyes open and jerked backwards, realizing that the "pillow" was Cassandra's side, who apparently had returned from dinner and was now laying in bed with a book.

"I- I'm sorry! I think I overslept and-"

She was interrupted by a slender finger on her lips.

"Get back here, you're so warm."

Too warm, Nicole almost replied but Cassandra's hand mowed from her lips to trace her jawline and neck. Then,when it got to her nape, she pulled the redhead back on her chest, cheek resting on the cool skin.

Nicole froze for a moment but soon melted into the touch. Presumably one of the perks of being an undead being was never getting too hot. At least temperature-wise. She tentatively snaked an arm around the brunette's waist and, when there was no protest, she shifted her body closer against hers.

Checking the time didn't even occur to Nicole until her eyes fell on one of the windows, noticing it was pitch black beyond the glass.

"Shouldn't we have…" she just vaguely gestured, not even sure what they were supposed to do that day in the dungeons.

"Here's one of the perks of working with me darling: if I don't feel like doing anything then congratulations, you've got yourself a day off. Now why don't you enjoy it hmm."

She emphasized her words by bringing her free hand to Nicole's head, nails lightly scratching the scalp. But Nicole was wide awake, despite the pleasant sensation that elicited a content hum from her.

There were so many things to take in that she hadn't noticed earlier. Just like her study, Cassandra's bedroom was like a collection of glimpses into her. The desk was littered with papers and oddly modern drawing supplies, the kind you would get by entering the art supply store down the road from her college dorm. A mannequin in the corner of the room was wearing a most likely tailor made dress, complete with what looked like a matching sword. The wall she could see was half covered in bookshelves, half in deer antlers or horns of different animals. Some had labels with dates underneath them that were too far to read, but Nicole managed to decipher one that said 08.06.1982.

She didn't want to risk losing her precious head scratches in order to explore the other half of the room, so her eyes settled on the one thing she could see without moving. The book in Cassandra's other hand.

"What're you reading?"

Cassandra sighed, realizing that she was still awake but answered anyway.

"Watership down."

She giggled, still a bit lightheaded. "Bunnies…"

Cassandra rolled her eyes, not quite in the mood to go on a lengthy discourse about the themes of said "bunnies". She opted to change the topic instead, voice oddly soft.

"How's your head?"

"Mmm...dizzy."

"Sleep then."

"My room is too far away."

"Sleep here you dumbass."

Nicole was silent for a few moments, putting together the few coherent thoughts still lingering in her brain. Then, trying not to slur her words due to dizziness and sleepiness alike:

"Isn't that against protocol? Do you even have a protocol?"

"The protocol is that our staff serves my family. Right now you're keeping me warm. There, congratulations on performing your duties. Now go to sleep."

The redhead gave in, too tired to keep on annoying Cassandra. She nuzzled her face closer to the brunette's neck leaving a small peck on her collarbone and closed her eyes. The nails still scratching at her scalp, occasionally moving to run through long auburn locks proved more than efficient at lulling her to sleep. She could swear she felt a soft, almost imperceptible kiss on the top of her head before consciousness fully slipped away from her

[i-writes-things]

The Secret

Part 2 part 1 part 3

Avengers x Fem!Reader

(+) Platonic story

Summary- The newest Avenger is keeping a big secret from the rest of the team...

Warnings- Shouting, and tiredness.

not my gif*

You walked tirelessly around the room rocking your son in your arms, he was so close to sleeping. Yet every time you put him down, he cried. You had tried everything you could think of and finally decided that it seemed if he was in your arms, that he would sleep so for tonight he could just sleep with you.

The next day came quick. The big day, meeting Nick Fury for the first time, ever. Natasha would be there and you hoped that it wasn't going to be awkward with her, but you knew better than that.

~~~~~

Natasha walked into the meeting room, knowing you wouldn't be there early, you never were.

But to her surprise, you were already there sleepily reading a book on how to make toddlers go to sleep.

She funny enough didn't notice the book title, but you still put it away the second you noticed she had entered the room.

The both of you kept glancing at the other til you glanced and she caught your gaze

"Y/N, I think that we-"

"UNDEROOS!" Tony shouts cutting Natasha off, walking in with Peter Parker behind him shyly smiling at the both of us.

"Tony can you and Peter leave I need to talk with Y/N, right now." she says annoyed

"Didn't even notice you, Turtle. (he likes to call you turtle as you are always late and slow) I think this is the first time ever, that you have been early to a meeting. Way to go Y/N!"

"Tony!" Natasha practically shouts at him.

"Right, my bad." Walking out backwards with his hands up in mock surrender.

Natasha gets up to close the door, and stands at the front of the room.

"Y/N I found something. I don't know what to think of it, but with how late you always are to meetings and how stressed you seem on missions, it all points to the same thing."

You watch her quietly, waiting to hear the words that you were off the team.

"I am not saying that this is you, but it sure as hell seems like it." she puts down a photo of you when you were younger, when you were with HYDRA.

"Natasha, thats not me anymore. I could never go back, never." you say defending your place with facts.

"Then why were you training with S.H.I.E.D. but 3 years ago you left for almost 2 years. No one knew where you were, just randomly fell off the face of the earth, did you? You then went back to S.H.I.E.D. to train and become top of your class within 6 months. 6 months." she repeats. "I mean, what where you doing for those 2 years?" she stares at you to see if she got any reaction from you. She did, it was shock and sadness.

You stare at the table, you have to tell her, but then its goodbye Avengers for you. You think for a moment before the two of you are interrupted with a knock at the door. As Natasha gets the door, you wipe the tears out of your eyes.

"Nick, its good to see you!" Natasha says happily, as Nick greets her and they walk into the room, followed by everyone waiting outside.

Natasha decides to sit directly across from you which she had never done before taking Clint's seat, but he didn't mind. He would get to sit next to Sam and Bucky.

Wanda takes her seat next to you noticing Natasha staring at you, with disapproval in her eyes, Natasha glanced over at Wanda and Wanda gave her a confused look, and looked between you and Nat. Natasha just ignored her and looked back at you.

Natasha is extremely disappointed in you and you notice this the second you pull your tired head back up, as you had been up all night trying to put your son to bed.

Part 3????

@fishlikestuff ❤️



[kampfkuchen85]

You´re so fake - Part 7

Characters: Rindo Haitani, reader

Note: english isn't my first language, so there could be mistakes – it's intentional that I don't write readers thoughts or what she´s exactly doing. I tried to write this from Rindos POV.

Part 1 - previous - Part 7 - next

Masterlist

===============================================

The first thing he saw when he woke up was the ceiling. He couldn´t remember that the rest of the couch, where his head was laying, was so soft when he fell asleep. He stretched his head a little bit backwards to see the reason for this circumstance, not really surprised when he saw you. You haven't noticed that he was awake now, still reading your book with one hand, while the other hand was running through his long hair.

You had a serious look on your face while reading. Maybe it was a passage that needed all your attention.

“Hey bookworm.”

His sudden voice made you flinch hard, hitting your book directly on his forehead. You looked at him with wide eyes, a hand on your heart to calm yourself down, while he was rubbing his paining forehead.

“Don't scare me like that, Rin. I thought you're sleeping.”

You tried to hit him once again with the book, the only weapon available at this moment, but he was faster, grabbing the book out of your hand and throwing it into the next corner.

“Calm down, bookworm.”

He sighed, making himself comfortable on your thigh again and leading your hand back into his hair.

“Why are you here?”

“Mikey told me to help you with your mission with Sato.”

“That's not what I meant,” rolling his eyes. “I thought Sanzu wanted to hang out with you.”

“Yeah, we did. He showed me the most important places in Tokyo, where you can eat the best Sushi, where you can go shopping for little money, where the best parties take place, where you can buy the best drugs…stuff like that.”

“The best drugs?”, he looked up, noticing your slight red eyes and your widened pupils, “don´t tell me he gave you some.”

“Maybe?”, you giggled, which was answer enough. “....and then we went shopping in Akihabara.”

“It's too late for a warning, but you shouldn't accept drugs from Sanzu. No one knows what´s exactly in them and you were shopping again? We bought everything in the morning already.”

“We bought everything for the mission, yeah, but Sanzu bought me some other things additionally. Some new dresses, new shirts, new shoes, even new accessoires. It was a funny afternoon. Sanzu is a really cool guy. I like him.”

“Are you saying that because you're still under drugs?”

“Maybe?”, you giggled again, but this time just to piss Rindo off. “No, I really like him. I´m serious.”

Your statement made him grumble in response.

You can´t be sane if you think that Sanzu is a cool person and accept drugs from this crackhead.

“What time is it?”, he asked after a couple of minutes of silence, his head still resting on your lap.

“It's nearly 6 pm. You overslept the whole afternoon. Was it really that draining to go shopping with me?”

“You've got no idea”, he sighed, closing his eyes again. “Mikey and the others will be here any minute.”

When he made no attempt to stand up, you looked at him slightly confused.

“Don´t you want to stand up? The others will make fun of us when they see us like this.”

“No. It's comfortable. They won't dare to make fun of me.”

“Are you sure about that? Your brother and Sanzu seem to be the kind of guys who would tease you for it.”

“Then I'll punch them”, he rolled over to the side, making clear that this little argument was over.

“We could do something else till they arrive.”

You sneaked your hand under his shirt, touching his breast slightly with your fingertips, but he shoved them away.

“I'm not interested, bookworm.”

He couldn't see your pout.

“You're no fun.”

========================================

Taglist: open

@mystrngeaddiction2sanzu @sup-zfam

If there´s anyone else who wants to be tagged, please let me know :)

[devinescribe]

[A Little More] Niragi S.

The plot is basically knowing before the games, and you were his main bully's sister. And then it transfers to being in the games. I listened to the song 'A Little More' by Alessia Cara while making this, and it's on my Wattpad as well :)

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of abuse, bullying, mentions of rape(none done by Niragi towards the reader. Also, more like insinuates it, not describes or for sure says it, but just in case!)

You had seen the boy around. He carried his books hurriedly around, and your brother always told you he was his friend. And you believed him.

"Onii-Chan! Hiii!" You chirped, running up to your brother. You saw his friends behind him, the boy with the glasses trailing behind. "I'll be inside in a second," you said, running past the group of boys to the boy behind them. "Hi! My name's (L/N) (F/N). What's your's?" You introduced, holding out a hand to him to shake. "S-suguru Niragi... Nice to meet you," he responded, looking up to meet your gaze. "That's my big brother, he's super cool. I wanna be like him one day. Even though he's only a years older," you giggled, pointing towards the boy standing in the doorway, glaring down at him. "B-big brother? I-i have to go..." he excused. "Ah, wait, Suguru-San, let's talk more at school yeah?" You shouted after him. He stopped, turning to look at you, giving a curt nod.

"Hey! What- what are you doing?" You asked, stumbling across your brother with his friend. Niragi was on the floor, blood spilling from nose, a baseball next to him. His glasses scattered to the side. "Leave (Y/N), it's nothing to concern yourself with. Go home," your brother said. He was holding a baseball bat. "I thought he was your friend?" You asked, walking closer to them. "I told you to leave," your brother responded louder. "Did you do this to him?" You asked, tears building in your eyes. "And if I did? He's just a loser anyways," you brother said. You gasped, walking closer to your brother. "Stop. You shouldn't do this," you said, trying to look at the boy standing in front of you like he was still your brother and not some monster who had been torturing someone innocent. "I told you to leave you dumb bitch," he scoffed, pushing you down. "D-dont!" Niragi shouted from behind you. Your eyes widened. "Don't hurt her... she's your sister, you shouldn't hurt your sister," Niragi said, trying his hardest to be brave to protect you. "And?" Your brother said, kicking your leg harshly. You gave a yelp of pain, and crawled backwards to Niragi. " 'Ragi, you ok?" You asked, wiping away the blood, to no avail as it kept coming out. "Get away from him (Y/N), unless you want the same treatment," one of your brother's friends smirked. Your eyes widened, holding onto him. "Hurt me then. I don't care. Leave him alone!" You shouted, shielding Niragi from them. "Aw look, he needs a girl to protect him," one of the boys taunted. You stood up, holding Niragi's hand. Your brother scoffed, tossing a ball up, and batting it. You only heard a crack, and felt a pain on your nose. You put a hand up, and felt blood drip down. " 'Ragi, on the count of three, run. Run home or wherever, don't look back, just run, and I'll see you at school tomorrow alright?" You instructed, looking at him with a smile. "But what about you? You're a girl and they could do worse to you than me I can't let you-" he said, stumbling over his words. "Go. I'll be fine, I'll see you tomorrow," you said, the kind smile he'd grown to love still present on his face. He only nodded.

"1"

He closed his eyes, dreading the thought of leaving you alone.

"2"

You looked up at him, and gave him a quick kiss to the cheek.

"3."

He swallowed harshly, and ran like you told him. He did what you told him, trying to block out the noise, because he knew he would look back if he did...

The next day you showed up at school. Your eyes no longer held the same spark they had. Your smile had dulled. Not even like you were giving a real smile. There were bruises on your legs that you had neglected to cover.

You went to your usual spot under the Sakura tree in the school court yard. " 'Ragi?" You questioned, seeing him standing there, under the tree. He saw you, and let out a sigh of relief. "Are you ok? What happened? What did they to you?" He asked, reaching out for you. You jumped back, scared of what might happen if you let him touch you. He looked at you, seeing the bruises on your neck and legs. "What the hell did they do to you?" He whispered, slowly walking over to you. Your eyes filled with tears. "I-it was h-horrible, I- I didn't think that i-," you started, breaking down in sobs. He reached you, slowly wrapping his arms around you.

You two sat atop the roof of the apartment complex, looking out to the stars. "So let me get this straight, if a guy with piercings and long hair asked you out, you wouldn't hesitate to say yes?" He asked, laughing a bit. You laughed, nodding your head. "But also smart guys. Clever ones, who put thought into things. The guys who aren't afraid of their emotions or mine ya know?" You admitted, looking up to the stars. He nodded softly. " 'Ragi. You'd look good with piercings," you mentioned all of a sudden. "Really?" He asked, looking at you. "Mhm. And if you grew out your hair to... here," you said, touching his shoulders. "Is this your way of telling me I'm ugly?" He joked. "No! You're really cute, I'm just saying it would look good on you. Dummy," you muttered. "What would you do if everyone in Tokyo disappeared? It was just the two of us?" He asked suddenly. "I'd be... happy. Our utopia where my brother and his stupid friends don't exist. Just us, watching the stars every night. I'd like that," you said softly. "I'd like that too," he whispered.

You chuckled at the memory. "Well, I would have liked it. If you were here with me," you said, leaning back on the wall. You looked down at the cards in your hand. 10 of clubs, ace of diamonds, and 2 of hearts. You shuddered. "Maybe it's better you're not here 'Ragi. I wouldn't want you going through this," you muttered. You heard the engine of a car. "What the hell? I thought cars didn't work," you whispered, walking out from your hiding spot, onto the street. The headlights of the cars fell on you, and they stopped. "Oi, you ok?" A voice asked. "Um, not really? How'd you get cars working?" You responded. No one answered. "We have a place where people in this situation can go. The Beach. Do you have any playing cards?" The person asked. "Yes, I do. 10 of clubs, ace of diamonds, and 2 of hearts," you responded. "Hop on in," they said. You walked over cautiously, getting into the car.

"Welcome to the beach. Right now, there's only a few of us, but in time there will be many. We have 3 militals, and 4 executives so far, with me being the leader," the man, who's name you learned to be Hatter. "Hatter, your back from- and who's this?" A voice said from the top of the staircase. You looked over, and saw a boy, about your age, with dark shoulder length hair. You couldn't see his facial features since he was so far away. He walked down the stairs, and you could see his face. He had an eyebrow piercing, as well as a nose piercing, with very attractive features. He looked so familiar. "That's Niragi, he's one of the militals, which is why he has a weapon," Hatter explained. Niragi clicked his tongue. "N-niragi?" You stuttered, walking a bit closer to the boy. "Oi, why the hell are you starin' at me like that? You look like you've seen a ghost," he scoffed. "Hi! My name's (L/N) (F/N). What's your's?" You said, using the same childish voice you had back then, sticking a hand out like you had back then, hoping this was your Niragi. The Niragi you had spent hours with atop the roofs of Tokyo. The Niragi who called you an idiot for getting drunk once. The Niragi who had most of your firsts, even if they were on a dare or some stupid punishment of your brother's creation. The same Niragi who had protected you after that day. The same Niragi who bought you candies and snacks after school. The Niragi you had and still loved. His eyes widened, and the gun he had dropped to the floor. "S-suguru Niragi... Nice to meet you," he said, the same way he had back then. The tears that had filled your eyes fell, and you grabbed his hand, pulling him into a hug. "It's you, it's really you right? I'm not dreaming? Did I die, is this heaven, please tell me that's really you," you cried into him. "It's me, it's really me (N/N)," he whispered, trying to keep his tears from falling. Hatter smiled, and left, giving the two of you a bit of privacy. He pulled away from the hug, cupping your face in his hands, placing his forehead on yours. "I'm so happy you're ok," you whispered. He stayed quiet, reeling in everything. You were there. With him. You were safe as could be within this messed up world. You were the same (Y/N) who had taken more damage for him than anyone in his life. The (Y/N) who had stayed up on late night phone calls. The (Y/N) who fixed his glasses everytime they broke. The (Y/N) who watched the stars with him. You pulled away, sniffling. "You look different," you laughed, sniffling and drying your tears. "Good different or bad different?" He asked with a smirk. "Good different. Great different. I told you you'd look good," you said. "Oh that reminds me of something I've wanted to do forever. (Y/N), will you go out with me?" He asked. "Yes," you responded with a smile. "Oh wow, you really meant no hesitation, huh?" He teased. "I've loved you since we were kids, why the fuck would I say no?" You admitted, holding his hand and intertwining your fingers with his.

"You know, this isn't the way I thought I'd die, but I'm glad it's with you," you said, panting from the heat of the flames. "It's all my fault. You shouldn't be in this mess. Fucking hell..." he muttered. You lay your head on his shoulder. "It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself. I had just as much fault as you," you whispered. "Chishiya was right. All of us militals are just morons with guns," he laughed. You smiled. "I'm sure he'd love to hear you admit that. I can see him smirking right now," you said, a laugh escaping your lips. "Remember that time your brother found us on the roof, and we had to jump from one roof to the other to get away?" He asked leaning his head onto yours. "Yeah, remember that time we threw one of his baseball's into the river, and he was super pissed?" You giggled. "Remember that night on the roof when you told me your biggest fear was loosing me?" He asked. "That was legitimately the other night, if course I didn't forget it bubs," you whispered, snuggling into him. You both coughed from the smoke. "I don't want to die..." you whimpered, hugging him tightly. He held onto you. "I know... I know. But we'll just feel pain for a second, and then we'll meet in hell princess," he joked, trying to comfort you. You laughed a bit, but it turned into you coughing. "I love you Niragi," you said. "I love you too, (Y/N)."

Sorry if he's OOC my dear readers-

[hazbbyhaz]

sleepless || harry styles

six

pairing: Harry Styles x OC

synopsis: getting back into everyday life

disclaimer: slander of ones self, child abuse

I want to be with you, it is as simple and as complicated as that.

- charles bukowski

After finishing her tea, Avery told Harry that she was tired and made her exit. The way home had been cold and rainy, upon arriving back to her flat she realized that it wasn't much better. She walked into the kitchen in search of more tea. Coming up empty-handed, she decided to brew a pot of coffee. That would keep her awake, at least.

In the corner of her living room sat an old piano, she had bought it a couple of years prior at a flea market. The thing worn and very out of tune, but adorned with a wonderful message written in metallic silver sharpie. “Girls just wanna have fun.” she wandered over to it, taking a seat on the small bench, letting her fingers wander over the unfamiliar keys. She understood them just as much as she would a foreign language.

Her long, fragile fingers pressed down on the white stripes, the atrocious sound it makes sends a shiver down her spine. Closing the lid of the piano and setting her mug on top, she contemplated what else to do. The main goal was to stay awake, as it always was. Everything that she did from the moment she came home to the moment she went back to work was focused on just that. Anything she could do to take her mind off of that would happily suffice.

So, for the next half an hour she read a book, made another pot of coffee, sat down to compile a list for the grocery, started a bad french movie, drew several small doodles on her grocery list, and eventually made her way out to he balcony to see if her neighbor's cat was in sight.

At 1:30 am she went back inside due to the cold air. Once settled, she was greeted by a deafening silence. It isn't unfamiliar. All her nights went like this. She wasn't living her life, just waiting for the time to pass. Sometimes she would stand inside of her tiny bathroom, look into the mirror for a good while and take in her appearance. The bags under her eyes, the sunken face, and the slumped shoulders,

On rare occasions, she would fall asleep. This was almost always met with her waking up in a panic. Nonstop tears and shakes. Always alone. Always.

Tonight Avery was again standing in the bathroom. She thought about the party while she brushed her teeth. You were dumb. You were acting stupid and weird and everyone must have thought you were crazy. Everyone.

She opened her bedroom door, crawled underneath the sheets of her bed, and fell asleep with a racing heart.

“Mummy! I painted you something!” I exclaimed, running into the kitchen. The piece of paper in my wand-waving around like a flag. Mummy was standing there, her eyebrows knit together, and a stern expression on her face. That look alone made me stop in my tracks.

“What did I tell you, Avery? Huh?! What did I tell you!” She yells, looking down at me. I lower my gaze, hiding my paining behind my back.

“Not to run in the house.'' I whisper apologetically, looking anywhere but her. Mommy's hand connects with my cheek and I fall backward, the painting falling to the floor. Tears fill my eyes as she slaps me for a second time. “I’m sorry, Mommy… I didn't mean to make you mad”

She kneels in front of me, making sure that we are on a small level. I think that she might even want to hug me. Say that she is sorry and that she didn't mean to hit me, and ask if I am okay. As I step forward with outstretched arms she grabs my hair, pulling me closer. “You know what you are? An ungrateful brat. And that's all you will ever be.”

Avery shakes the whipped cream container for the second time, the disapproving gaze of the customer in front of her beyond prominent. At last, a bit of whipped cream topped the caramel frappuccino with cinnamon, almond milk, and sprinkles.

“That will make 3 pounds, please.”

The girl placed 3 pounds on the counter, took her coffee, and left without saying another word. She joined her boyfriend who was waiting patiently outside for her. As soon as the door closes, Avery lifts the curtain that leads to the back of the shop. “Tom! I think we're out of whipped cream!”

An annoyed grunt is the only answer she receives before Tom makes his way to the front of the shop. “Again? Maybe we should stop selling those damn frappuccinos.”

“Any new job offers?’” Avery asks, wiping her hands on one of the nearby dish towels. A look at the clock reminded her that her break would start in just a couple of minutes.

‘Not really,” Top sights, leaning against the counter, his gaze fixed on the big window, overlooking the street. “Maybe I should make the salary a bit higher, but I don't have that kind of money. It's hard enough for me to even pay you, but we really could use the extra help around here. I'm telling you, the very next person who puts in an application will get the job. You will get a bit of a break around here too. Do you think you could run out and get some more whipped cream? The next delivery doesn't come till Friday.” He reaches into his pocket, pulling out five pounds.

“Sure,” Avery is already on her way out of the shop. “I got it covered.” Tom gives her a thankful smile, putting the money back into his pocket.

“You're a real one, Avery.”

Avery was never very fond of receiving compliments. They always made her feel very uncomfortable and she never knew how to react to them. Genuine smiles or a grateful glance meant a lot more to her. It made her feel all warm and fuzzy. Words were too easy. Everyone could say something without meaning it.

She scurried across the street to the nearest Tesco to get three more containers of whipped cream. After paying and a highly uncomfortable small talk with the cashier, she made her way to her favorite bagel place. While making her way there, she decided that four things made her life bearable. Tea, the neighbor’s cat, genuine smiles, and bagels. There wasn't much more to it.

She went with her usual bagel order accompanied by a black tea, finding a nice spot towards the back of the shop to sit, the three containers of whipped cream sat close beside her. Her eyes ran over the pages of the book she had brought with her, but she just couldn't seem to concentrate. Her eyes simply just float past each word, not truly reading. The nightmare from last night was still at the forefront of her mind, weighing her down today. She regretted going to bed at all. It always bought this with it. You couldn't have one without the other.

“What's got you looking so miserable?” A voice suddenly asked. Avery jumped back, nearly losing her grip on the book. Harry stood looking down at her. His silhouette blocked the sunlight flowing in from a nearby window, so she couldn't quite make out his features. “I’m sorry, I didn't want to scare you.”

“It's okay,” She breathed out. “Hi, Harry.”

He smiled at her before placing the coffee in his hands, of which she hadn't noticed before, down on the table, taking a seat across from her. “You look tired.”

She always looked tired. He must have noticed. Everyone noticed. “You're very charming, you know that?”

“I get that quite a lot.” They sat in silence for a while, Harry sipping his coffee, occasionally settling his gaze on Avery. She completely gave up on trying to read her book and focused her attention on her bagel and tea. The afternoon sun lit up the shop, every table in front of them being illuminated in a warm glow.

Avery enjoyed the silence and Harry didn't seem to mind it either. She still didn't understand the stranger she had met and kept on meeting, but it was nice. It was different having a person around, like having a friend. “Do you wanna go out tonight?”

“What?”

“My friends and I are going out tonight and I thought you might want to accompany us,” Harry explained, his eyes not leaving her. He was worried. About what? She had no clue, but he wasn't very good at hiding it. Not at all.

“Wouldn't that make me even more tired?” Avery questioned, referring to his statement from earlier.

“I'll give you some energy.”

“How does that even work?”

“You will have to come to find out.” He smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Avery agreed to go out with him and his friends, also agreeing to meet him at her flat. Avery left first, leaving Harry to sit a bit longer at the table. As she walked away, the warm glow of the sun hitting her face in the perfect way, Harry wasn't sure he had ever met someone more lonely.

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[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Scars That Heal || Eddie Kaspbrak x Reader Series

• Ch. 1: Please Don’t Go, Girl •

- 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗘 𝟭𝟵𝟴𝟵 -

     The final bell at Derry High School rang, doors flung open and a mix of disorderly students had spilled out into the halls like sheep. Books were being hurled into the trash, lockers emptied out, papers were strewn all over - summer had officially commenced. Swept up among the madness is Bill Denbrough, Richie Tozier, Stan Uris, and Eddie Kaspbrak.

     Eddie was abnormally small for his age, his inhaler holstered in his medicine-filled fanny pack to his left, Stan. A tall boy with curly blonde hair and wore a kippah, next to him was Bill, a young gangly boy with a stutter. And Richie Tozier, who wore glasses and was notorious for being a trash mouth. He was Eddie's best friend.

     In that same moment, one floor down, Y/n L/n flooded into the hallway with her classmates, exhaling in relief. She scanned the hallways and glazed over the many figures of the crowd hoping to catch sight of a familiar head of fiery red hair that belonged to her best friend. Beverly had excused herself near the end of class for a smoke in the girl’s bathroom, naturally, that was where she was headed to find her friend.

     Y/n weaved her way through the hallway stuffed with people, walking on her toes hoping to get a better look above the mass of heads. She passed through the stairway, cringing at the sudden influx in volume caused by the echo from the rowdy students in the stairway. That's when she spotted Greta Bowie.

     Y/n cursed under her breath as she saw the 13-year-old bully heading for the top of the stairs. She got a bad feeling in her stomach and she immediately knew where Greta was headed.

     Beverly and Y/n were the bully's favorite victims, particularly Bev. And Y/n had an inkling Greta was looking for her Beverly too.

     Y/n sprinted up the steps after her, the swarm of students blocking her way. Up ahead, she saw Greta reach the landing of the second floor and she shoved herself past one of Richie Tozier's friends, who turned to glare at her.

     At that moment, two rambunctious boys who were racing down the stairs, and much too absorbed in their interaction hadn't seemed to realize they were obstructing her path. And blocking Greta out in the process.

     She huffed. "Do you mind- Hey!"

     Rather than stop, the two boys blew past her on either side, their shoulders crashing into hers as they sneered. Her heart leaped into her throat as she felt herself lose balance. She lost her footing and was sent tumbling backward down a few stairs and onto the landing, a few students slowing her fall. Luckily, she hadn't made it far up the stairs. Had she, and Y/n would have left the school in a wheelchair, or worse.

     "Fuck!"

     Laughter erupted around her and she lay there, the wind knocked out of her. The two boys never even acknowledged the damage they had caused and they were well on their way to the exit of the school. Figures.

     "Hey, are y-y-you, o-okay?" Y/n peered up and saw four boys hurrying down the steps towards her.

     One of the boys, Richie Tozier, she recognized. At Derry High School, it was almost impossible not to know about the trash mouth, but she also had a handful of classes with him. They had even been partnered up once at the beginning of the year.

     Y/n had a hard time figuring out what he actually sounded like that day, he kept switching between so many different accents.

     "I'm fine," She sat up abruptly, wincing and hissed in pain, clutching her elbow.

     "You sure?" Asked the curly-haired boy, who was peeking his slightly over his friends. "That was some fall you took."

     "You know toots, when people come barreling towards me, I usually get out of the way, but you know, that's just me." Said Richie, readjusting his glasses.

     Y/n rolled her eyes, huffing. "Ever learn how to shut up, Tozier?"

     "Nah, still trying to crack that one."

     Eddie, who had been unusually quiet, hesitantly brought his hand out to her to help her up. She took it gratefully, forcing a smile, still wincing from her fall. And Y/n muttered a thanks.

     The poor hypochondriac boy realized what he had done and quickly reached into his fanny pack, grabbing his pocket-sized hand sanitizer. He squeezed a small amount into his palm and quickly rubbed it into his hands frantically, though a small blush resided on his cheeks.

     Y/n would have taken slight offense to the kid's actions but she was far too distracted by the fact that Greta had gotten away.

     She was probably terrorizing Beverly right now, Y/n thought.

     "Are you sure you're okay? That looked like a really bad fall." Stan asked.

     Y/n forced another smile as she rotated her ankle wincing. "Yeah, I'm fine thanks. Look I rea-"

     Eddie, whose voice finally caught up with his brain, began speaking rapidly, cutting her off unintentionally.

     "You should take extra precaution with your ankle for a while. Did you know over one million stair related injuries occur every year, and people who have them, statistically speaking are more likely to experience another incident due to injury from the first fall?"

     Y/n blinked a few times, still trying to catch up with his words. Richie and Stan smirked at one another and Bill looked between his friend and the baffled girl before him. Bill remembered how it was hearing Eddie speak for the first time. It took him a couple of weeks before he could hold a conversation with him without asking him to repeat himself.

     "Uh, yeah, I think I heard that somewhere, thanks. I'll keep an eye on it. Uh, listen, thanks for the concern, and the help, but I really gotta go," Y/n said quickly, not as fast, but close to, Eddie's speed.

     The unexpected response triggered a few raised eyebrows among the three boys, and a small smile formed on Eddie's face.

     Y/n nodded and gestured to the top of the stairs behind them.

     "Excuse me," She said, pushing her way through between Eddie and Stan.

     Eddie and the rest of the boys turned and watched as she squeezed through the flood of students like a fish swimming upstream. Eventually, they saw her [b/t] figure disappear into the crowd at the top of the stairs.

     Without his eyes leaving the spot through which she disappeared, Eddie spoke up.

     "Hey, Richie, who was that?"

     Richie looked between his best friend and the stairs.

     "Y/n L/n. Why? You want to get in her pants?" He chuckled.

     Eddie's face scrunched up and he shook his head feverishly, though it didn't stop Richie from noticing the pinkish hue creeping up on Eddie's cheeks and Richie suddenly regretted his joke.

     "Aw, nothing to be ashamed of Eds. We're happy you're finally going after a woman that's not your mother!" Richie said, plastering on a smirk.

     Eddie then launched into a lecture about the nickname and the four boys continued downstairs.

     Meanwhile, at just past the top of the stairs Y/n approached the bathroom just as Greta and her posse were leaving. They were snickering and Greta met Y/n's eye and burst into laughter, her friends following suit.

     "Oh, crap." Y/n took off into the bathroom.

     "Beverly?"

     Y/n didn't need to hear a response to figure out where her friend was. She winced when she saw the water pooling out from the far right stall. Mixed into it were various pieces of garbage that were floating amongst it.

     "Beverly? It's me, come on open up," Y/n knocked softly on the stall, and she took a step back when it swung open.

     There Beverly stood, her legs and the end of her dress soaked and dripping. Beverly looked at her best friend, a deadpan look on her face. She held her drenched backpack out away from herself, it swung slightly where the handle was hooked around her finger. There were wet napkins and paper towels that still clung to her backpack.

     "Shit, I'm sorry. I tried going after her, but I... guess I fell short." Y/n chuckled weakly at her own joke, but quickly shook her head. "Never mind. Here, let's get you dried off."

×××

     "Best feeling in the world,"

     Stan emptied the contents of his backpack into the trashcan in the courtyard, his friends did the same.

     Richie turned to his friend, putting his backpack back on.

     "Yeah? Try tickling your pickle for the first time."

     Eddie, who was used to ignoring the cheeky quips from Richie, turned to the others.

     "Hey, what do you guys want to do tomorrow?"

     Richie looked to Eddie, answering as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

     "I start my training."

     "Wait, what training?"

     "Street Fighter."

     "Is that how you wanna spend your summer? Inside of an arcade?"

     Without missing a beat, Richie replied and shrugged.

     "Beats spending it inside your mother," he turned to Stan, waiting for a high five.

     Without a thought, Stan forced Richie's arm down, and the conversation continued.

     "What if we go to the quarry?" He asked.

     Bill leaned slightly on the trashcans as he replied.

     "Guys, we have the b-b-ba-barrens,"

     An awkward silence fell over them and Stan nodded in understanding. "Right."

     At that moment, Eddie caught sight of a woman standing on the sidewalk, her eyes puffy from crying. They were accompanied by bags under them, and she waited with the police. She scanned the entryway, hoping to find a familiar face.

     Eddie nodded. "Betty Ribosome's mom,"

     The boys all turned to follow his eye.

     "Is she really expecting to see her come out of that school?" Stan asked sadly.

     "I don't know," Eddie muttered. "As if Betty Ripsome's been hiding in Home Ec. for the last few weeks."

     "You think they'll actually find her?"

     Richie answered immediately, with a slight scoff.

     "Sure. In a ditch. All decomposed, covered in worms and maggots, smelling like Eddie's mom's underwear."

     Eddie cringed and began sputtering. "Shut up! That's fricking disgusting."

     "S-she’s not dead." Bill urged. "S-sh-she's just m-missing."

     Richie adjusted his glasses nervously, and he felt a twinge of guilt knowing he hit a sore subject with his friend. Bill was still insistent that his own younger brother was still missing. After his little brother's disappearance months ago, still hoping he was out there somewhere.

     "Sorry, Bill. She's missing."

     Another silence fell over the four friends. They began walking away towards their bikes.

     "You know, the Barrens aren't that bad," Richie began. "Who doesn't love splashing around in shitty water?"

     Richie was stopped in his tracks, a hand had reached out and grabbed his backpack, and before he knew it he was thrown into Stan and the two boys fell in the grass.

     Patrick Hockstetter kneeled over Stan. He wore a wicked grin and was waving his kippah in his face. "Nice frisbee, flamer."

     Stan reached desperately for it, but Patrick kept it well out of his reach. "Give it back!"

     He rose to his feet and tossed the kippah straight into an open window of a passing school bus. "Fucking losers!"

     Eddie was too distracted to notice Belch Huggins creep up behind him. He burped into his face, causing him to gag profusely and Belch gave him a shove.

     Henry Bowers, the leader of the little gang and the one who knocked over Stan and Richie, stormed passed the boys. Bill went red in the face with anger and he shouted after them.

     "Y-y-you, s-s-s-suck, Bowers!"

"Shut up, Bill!" Richie warned.

     But it was too late, Henry and his friends stopped in their tracks, turning around to face the stuttering boy.

     "You suh-suh-suh-say something, buh-buh-buh-Billy?" He asked, feigning a stutter.

     He stalked towards him, towering over him menacingly.

     "You got a free ride this year 'cause of your little brother. Ride's over, Denbrough."

     Henry caught the noise of indistinct radio chatter and he looked past Bill, at his father, the chief of police. The scruffy man took off his glasses and glared at his son. Henry tried to shake it off but he backed up slightly.

     "This summer's gonna be a hurt train, for you and your faggot friends."

     Henry licked his palm and wiped it across Bill's face. Patrick snickered and three bullies retreated the car, where their other friend Victor Criss was waiting.

     Stan and Richie joined Bill and Eddie's side, glaring after the Bowers Gang.

     "I wish he'd go missing," Richie muttered.

     Eddie nodded. "He's probably the one doing it."

×××

     Ben Hanscom grabs the handles of his bike with one hand and carefully moves it out of the rack. He was balancing a diorama of the Derry Standpipe in his other hand. He looked around the courtyard briefly, seeing the noiseless chatter of students around him as his music blasts in his ears. Completely unaware he and his bike were blocking the stairs.

     A now somewhat dry Beverly Marsh stood on the stairs waiting to pass. Y/n, who had helped her dry off in the bathroom, had promptly realized she never had the chance to clean out her locker. The duo decided to meet each other at their shared apartment complex. To kick off the summer break, Beverly was going to stay at Y/n's apartment for the night, and get a much-deserved break from her father.

     Beverly prickled at the small obstacle. She was impatient from the day's events and to get home and grab a change of clothes before her father got home from work. Eager to disappear to Y/n's next door. But the boy blocking the stairs didn't seem to know he was even doing it.

      "You gonna let me go by?" Beverly asked, bringing him out of his stupor. "Or is there a secret password or something?"

     Ben turned suddenly, and when he saw who it was before him, his stomach did flips and his heart was aflutter. He harbored a crush for the girl, ever since he first laid eyes on her in class. She never failed to make him blush, just with a simple look.

     "Oh," he turned his head down to the ground quickly to hide his scarlet face. "Um, sorry,"

     "Sorry's not," She trailed off when the diorama he had been holding fell to the ground, and he scrambled to pick it up. "password."

     Just as he had picked up his diorama, his bike fell to the ground. She felt a wave of guilt for being snarky, he was clearly sorry and at this point she knew, he had enough on his plate. Someone they both had to worry about. Henry Bowers.

     "Henry and his goons are over by the west entrance, so you should be fine," she eased, and Ben looked at her taken aback.

     "Oh, I wasn't--"

     "Everyone knows he's looking for you," she nodded.

     Ben sighed and shied away. She smiled and took a few steps forward, grabbing the headphones off his head.

     "What you listening to?"

     Ben was in shock, but he stood still waiting for the inevitable teasing she would bring. But instead she smiled brightly, making his heart pound faster and he could feel his face grow hotter.

     "New Kids on The Block," She took the headphones back off.

     "I don't even like them. I was just--"

     "Wait. You're the new kid, right? Now I get it."

     His heart sunk.

     "There's nothing to get."

     "I'm just messing with you," she assured.

     She placed the headphones on top of his head, and he promptly grabbed them, wrapping them around his head as best he could with one hand.

     "I'm Beverly Marsh"

     "Yeah. I know that 'cause we're in the same class. Social Studies. And you were..." he trailed off, and shook his head slightly. "I'm Ben. But pretty much everybody just calls me..."

     "The new kid," Beverly finished, nodded in understanding. "Well, Ben, there are worse things to be called. Let me sign this."

     She stepped forward, grabbing the yearbook she had spotted sticking out of his backpack. Bev eagerly opened it up to the front and her face fell seeing nothing but blank pages save for the word typed in black ink, 'Autographs'. Grabbing the pen from her belt, she bit the cap and held it between her teeth as she signed her name, unknowingly being watched in admiration by Ben. His eyes just poking up from the book.

     She recapped the pen and handed the yearbook back to Ben. "Stay cool, Ben from sosh class."

     "Uh, yeah," He turned to watch her leave, smiling brightly after her. "You too, Beverly."

     As he watched her walk away, she called without turning her head, acknowledging his response. "Hang tough, new kid on the block."

     Ben smirked at her clever reference to the boy bands' song, and a big stupid grin formed on his face. He chuckled, shaking his head softly, not believing his luck and her kindness.

     He called back out to her, moments too late. "Please Don't Go, Girl. That's the name of another New Kids on the Block song,"

     His words trailed off, knowing he had been too late. Hopefully, she hadn't heard it, he thought. And it seemed she hadn't. He shook his head, ashamed but relieved she hadn't heard it. Nevertheless, he had a new firm hand on his bike and diorama, determined not to drop them again and he walked his bike to the entrance, his headphones trailing behind him and his heart still aflutter.

     Who cares that no one else signed my yearbook, he thought. When the only person he actually wanted to, did.

+++

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[hyggeligbirch]

Straight Through Me

An EXO Fanfiction

pairing: jongin x baekhyun word count: 7 748 warnings: Major Character Death: Suicide

summary: On their one-year anniversary, Jongin goes through a scrapbook Baekhyun has left him.

parts: this || alternate ending

A thin black leather-bound book sits on the coffee table.  Jongin walks over and picks it up, the leather feeling cool in his hand as he falls backwards into his grey couch, too-soft cushions swallowing him up.  “To one year” is printed in Baekhyun's neat handwriting against the gold title plate on the inside cover.   A nose at his knee keeps him from turning to the first page.

           Jongin reaches out and scratches at Kongju's ears. “You want to sit with me, girl?”

           She whines and bumps her nose into his hand, earning another scratch and a little laugh.

           “Come on, girl.  Up!”  He pats the seat as he gives the command.  Kongju barely has to stretch as she heaves her body onto the couch.

           As she curls into his side, nose resting on his lap, he turns the page.  The picture on the page snags his eyes first, but he passes over it quickly; he'll look at it later.  It's the silvered handwriting that takes his attention now, and his fingers trace over the raised ink as he starts to read, quickly falling to scratch at Kongju. Baekhyun's printing has always been so neat, and this is no different.  It was hot, it begins.

--

           It was hot; the sun was yellow, and they really should have been wearing sunglasses.  But they were stupid college boys and it wasn't like they'd planned to play football.  At least, most of them hadn't planned to play today.  Minseok and Luhan seemed a little too prepared for the pick-up game, already having teams chosen and summoning a ball from thin air, but those two were always ready to play, so there really was no telling.

           It was a good game, the first five minutes. Then, Baekhyun tripped over a spectacular pass.   He fell heavily, clutching his ankle, whimpering at the pain.  Play ground to a confused halt as the ball just disappeared. Junmyeon ran over, sweaty and exhausted despite having done absolutely nothing useful on the field.  He knelt down, taking Baekhyun's ankle in hand, carefully turning it back and forth.  Baekhyun whined at the treatment, slapping at the man's hands.

           “That hurts!”

           Setting the foot down, Junmyeon rocked back onto his heels.  “I can't help if you won't let me look at it.”

           “Do you even know what you're looking at?” Baekhyun scowled, wincing as his own fingers probed at his ankle.  “Get Yixing to look at it.”

           Yixing was pushed forward, face blank in confusion. It wasn't too hard to recognize the situation, though.  A quick, gentle roll of the joint in his hands had him saying, “That's a bad sprain. You should sit off of that for a while, and ice it when you get the chance.”

           “But Luhan's team's creaming us!”

           “You're not going to make that much of a difference. Sit out,” Kyungsoo deadpanned.

           Disgruntled, Baekhyun lets Yixing help him off to the side, plopping heavily into the grass.  There was a rushed discussion behind the two and an unfamiliar face settled down next to him.  

           “I'm Jongin,” the stranger gave a slight bow, one arm resting on his knee, other settled in his lap.

           “Jongin, get back on the field!  Junmyeon will sit out!”

           Jongin yelled out at the field, “Get back to playing!” Laughing, he turned back to Baekhyun. “Sorry.  Luhan's not real happy about losing his best player.”

           “You're his best player?”

           “You know it.  Here,” he pulled Baekhyun's injured leg up onto his own thigh, “you should keep this elevated.  It'll help keep the swelling down.”  With that, he turned back to the game, careful to touch the other as little as possible.

           Baekhyun stared at him, then back at the game. “Looks like losing you didn't hurt them at all,” he muttered, crossing his arms and trying to ignore Jongin as much as possible, which was difficult with the positioning of his foot.

           Baekhyun sighed.  “Luhan's got the ball again.  He's running, he's running, he's run – and Minseok steals!  It won't last, Luhan's too good – and there's the steal and the ball's going back.  It's driving, it's driving, it's driving and there's the kick!  There's no way Kris is going to catch – ow.  That it looks like it hurt!”

           “Hey, announcer,” Jongin was smiling, and Baekhyun's stomach flopped at the sight.  “Does it count as a goal if the goalie blocks it with his face?”

           “No.  No, it doesn't,” he scowled back.

           “Then I guess you were wrong.”  And that disarming smile was back as Jongin turned back to the field.  “Is it my turn now?”  Without waiting for confirmation, Jongin started up.  “And that's been deemed no goal!  The ball's back at play and Minseok's lining up for a penalty kick – apparently giving the goalie a bloody nose is a foul -”

           “That's not how to do it.”  Baekhyun pursed his lips as he complained, swatting at Jongin's arm.

           “What, you think you can do better?”  From the way Jongin's eyebrow raised, this was a direct challenge.  

           Baekhyun wasn't going to let that one slide. “Minseok's lining up the penalty. He's got a good shot at it, too. Chanyeol's squared up.  Minseok kicks and it's – it's in!  Minseok ties the game with his first point!  And now the ball's back in play and there – they're off.  The teams are getting smaller every minute, though, folks!  It looks like Sehun's been thrown in as goalie for Team Minseok and Team Luhan's down to four as well.”

           “If Team Minseok would stop getting hurt, this game might go a little better,” Jongin said in a nasally falsetto.

           Baekhyun laughed and continued, pitching his voice up to match.  “Don't listen to that!  The game is going great!  There's some great play on the field, there.  Minseok passes to – Luhan.  Luhan's intercepted and the ball is now going in the other direction.  And Luhan's got it mostly down the field – field's absolutely empty – no, there's Tao coming up behind, looks like he wants the ball. Will Luhan pass it?  It looks like he will!”

           “No!  It's a fake-out!  Right at the net and it looks like Sehun's there.  No goal! No goal!”

           Baekhyun tried on another voice, a deep one that twanged over the words.  “Looks like the tides are turning, folks.  Tao's pitching a fit, so we'll be back in ten.”

           “Do you have a name?”  The question was sudden and direct.

           Baekhyun jumped at the look Jongin was giving him. “What?”

           “Do you have a name?”  Jongin's smile was patient as he repeated the question.

           “Yes.  Baekhyun.” He was startled and a little nervous and Jongin's leg was really warm on his ankle, or maybe that was just the inflammation.

           “What do you do when you're not hurt on the sidelines, Baekhyun?”

           “Oh, I'm a business major.  It's nothing interesting.  Lots of numbers and people.”  And it sounded just that boring when he said it aloud.

           Jongin twisted a couple of blades of grass in his fingers.  “You seem like you like people.”

           “I don't….What do you do?”

           “I keep hurt people company, of course.” Baekhyun wasn't sure if Jongin's smile intentionally got brighter, but it was almost blinding.

           “That's not what I meant!”

           Jongin laughed at his indignant face.  “I know.  I'm studying dance.”

           “Really?”  The excitement was clear in Baekhyun's voice.  “Are you any good?”

           Jongin's face fell.  “I'm working really hard, but I'm not good.  Not yet.”

           “You'll get there.”

           A scream from the field interrupted the conversation and the two turned back to the exciting game, commentating the actions on the field in increasingly ridiculous fashion.

 Final score: 3-1 Minseok.  Not that we noticed.

--

           Jongin smiles at the memory.  Baekhyun's words capture a different side of that day than he had ever seen before.  He – Jongin – had just been being nice; it was only fair that if Minseok's team lost a good player, Luhan's should as well.  And if they were both sitting out, why shouldn't they chat?

           He scratches at Kongju's head as he looks at the accompanying photo.  The intention of the photo had been to capture Team Minseok in their win (Minseok with his massive smile, hand on Chen's shoulder as Luhan pouted in the background), but a massive lens flare obscured most of the photo; the only thing distinguishable were the two figures sitting in the background.  They'd been having such a good time talking over the game that they'd been loathe to get up afterward.  Jongin remembers helping Baekhyun limp over to the crowd as they discussed where to go for dinner and marveling at the way the pale sun turned a soft gold as it caught in Baekhyun's hair.

           Kongju lifts her head and whines as Jongin reaches out to turn the page.  “It's okay, girl,” he said comfortingly, letting his hand back down to pet her head, “I'll pet you in just a minute.”

           She whines again, throwing her head back against his stomach.

           “It's okay, girl.  Sit still.”

           She settles back against him, dropping one of her great paws on her lap along with her head.  He chuckles and turns the page, crossing his legs to get more comfortable.  He groans at the picture.  It's a snapshot of him and Baekhyun – who took it? - playing the pepero game. There was no way they had gotten that close!  His eyes track across the page as he shakes his head, honing in on Baekhyun's neat silver penmanship, wondering just what Baekhyun had seen in this moment.  The letters shake just a little on the first words, as if Baekhyun had been laughing too hard to hold the pen steady. Junmyeon spent the night passed out in his bed…

--

           Junmyeon spent the night passed out in his bed. He'd had a few too many drinks; after the third time he fell into the couch trying to find the bathroom, Kris took pity on him and helped him to his room.  Taking advantage of Junmyeon's absence, Yixing made a blunt appear and passed it around.  Tao, temporarily lacking parental supervision, gave it a try.  Between coughs, he unleashed a spectacular string of Chinese swears at Yixing, and fell back into the wall, looking for someone to protect him.

           Between the booze and the weed, they really should have expected the suggestion of truth or dare – and the ensuing game.

           It started off fairly calm and relatively decent. The truths slowly became more outrageous and the dares more frequent – give a dance, sing a song, chug a beer – until Luhan took the dare offered him by Chen: kiss Minseok.  They weren't out and open with their relationship, but they were obvious enough that the others had suspicions, and maybe it was that fact, maybe it was the drugs, but there was no shame when Luhan kissed Minseok, heavy and open mouthed and way too long for the situation.  Suffice it to say that there were no more dares for the two of them.

           The highlight of the game was, however, when a very drunk Chanyeol made Jongin a dare that he could barely say without choking on his laughter, which really should have been a red flag.  “Play the pepero game with Baekhyun.”

           Jongin wasn't repulsed by the idea, and Baekhyun thought it would be all good fun – or maybe that was the alcohol talking – and suddenly there was a stick of pepero between their mouths.

           They were doing very well until Jongin could feel Baekhyun's breath on his face and something triggered in his brain and he panicked and broke off the game.  Baekhyun was bright red and Jongin was sure that was just the alcohol, but he was just as red.

           There was a triumphant roar and disappointed sighs as money changed hands.

I couldn't look him in the face for days.

--

           Kongju pushes her way further into Jongin's arms, her wet nose rubbing in his face as she moves, tail thumping on the couch.

           “Kongju, sit still!”  One hand holds the book up, protecting the pages, and the other pushes against Kongju's chest as he snaps the order.  She whines and licks his face a few times before obeying and lying heavily across his lap.  The weight is comforting as he turns the page.

           The black paper feels rougher against his fingers now, and there's a tickle in his throat at the picture centered on the left-hand page.  The seven of them – Minseok, Luhan, Baekhyun, Jongin, Tao, Kris, and Yixing– they're all in too big sweatshirts, most of them wearing sand covered jeans, and the ocean breeze has swept their hair up and up and up – are all laughing, smiles bigger than their faces and Jongin can feel the chill from that day sunk deep into his bones, even now.  As he moves his attention over to Baekhyun's writing, his thumb covers a pair of smiles – Luhan and Minseok, heads together, arms around each other, but they were always like that, off the field at least.

           The black ink is dark against the white page. We were stupid…

--

           “We were stupid to come out here,” Tao moaned. “It's too cold to swim and there's nothing to do but stand out on the beach.”

           His pouting was largely ignored in favor of setting a blanket out on the sand and distributing sandwiches.  It had been a long drive to make it to the beach, and they were all hungry.  Tao's mood would clear up once he had a little bit of food in him.  Somewhere within lunch, the conversation turned to the ocean, and what it pity it was they couldn't swim in it.  To make up for it, the suggestion was made – losers of Rock, Paper, Scissors had to go swim.  With disgusted groans Jongin and Baekhyun quickly lost.  While they went down the water, the others sat and chatted.

           Baekhyun only wandered in to the water to his waist, the cold water freezing all the way to his bones.  Teeth chattering, arms rubbing on himself, he tried to stay in long enough for it to count as 'swimming'.  Jongin, on the other hand, decided that if he was going to get in the water, he was going to get wet, and dove in head-first.  To his determination, the cold water wasn't too much of a problem.  Eventually he swam near Baekhyun, who was still freezing and chattering, wishing that they could just get out of the water soon.  The cold water shocked Jongin's lungs as he dove under, intent giving Baekhyun a scare.

           Instead of the shock of cold hands grabbing his ankles underwater, Baekhyun received the shock of Jongin going under the water and not coming up for what seemed like far too long.  In a panicked reaction, Baekhyun splashed over to where Jongin had gone under, finally braving the cold water enough to throw his hands in, searching for the other boy.  He managed to catch hold of Jongin and pull his head above water, where the boy coughed a little and managed to breathe again.  With the concern in mind, Baekhyun helped Jongin to the land, where the two were greeted by towels and a seat and cocoa from a thermos.  After the initial shock and panic had died down, a phone was procured and a selfie was taken of all of the boys.  Minseok and Luhan were hanging on each other; Tao, arm stretched out to hold the camera, was sitting alone, but close to Kris, avoiding the dripping boys as much as possible; Yixing was barely in the frame, looking like his attention had been gotten for just that moment; Kris was smiling, but also just trying to avoid the boys in the center – Jongin and Baekhyun. The two were completely soaked, hair and clothes plastered to their bodies and towels wrapped around their shoulders; cups of cocoa were clenched in their hands, but all of the boys looked so very happy.

 Only idiots would swim in water that cold.

--

           Irritated by Kongju's whining, Jongin pushes her off of his lap.  “Go out, girl.”  She stares at him for a moment before plodding off to wait at the door.  He pats her head as he grabs for her leash, and is surprised when she ducks away from him and steps backwards.  “Do you need to pee?  Then let's go out.”  She whines at him, pushes at the door again, and, getting no further responses from Jongin, curls back up on the couch.

           He sighs and sits back down next to her. “What was that about, girl?”

           She huffs at him and slowly wags her tail.

           He picks the book back up, turning to the next page.  An old recipe rubs under his fingers and he starts to read the next memory.  It was the first time…

--

           It was the first time Baekhyun had come to Jongin's apartment.  Jongin was in the kitchen, trying to make supper without accidentally feeding Kongju, who insisted on bumping into his hips every time he tried to move.  He was nervous – he and Baekhyun had only known each other a few weeks, but they'd been getting on very well, and, upon finding out that the other would be left alone over the weekend while his friends were on a business trip, Jongin invited him over for the day.  It was a fine idea until Jongin realized that the two would probably need food, and he couldn't cook much at all.  

           He was making what little he could when there was a knock at the door.  Hastily leaving the stove and throwing a “stay” at Kongju, he ran over to the door and pulled it open.

           “Welcome, come in, come in,” he said, backing up to let Baekhyun in, twisting a hand in his apron.  “You can just leave your shoes here – there's nowhere specific they need to go – and I do have some spare slippers if you -” A sharp bark interrupted his nervous words and he cursed, having forgotten to turn the burner off.

           As he ran back into the kitchen, the acrid smoke of a towel burning filling the air, Kongju came running out of the kitchen to investigate the visitor.  Distracted, Jongin didn't have time to give her sharp “stop” before he heard the clack of her nails on the wood floor as she launched herself with a happy bark at Baekhyun.

           Throwing a plate over the towel which, while technically not on fire, was still smoking, Jongin ran back to the main room.

           “Kongju!  Off!” He grabbed onto her collar and wrestled her great mass off of the visitor.  “I'm so sorry.  We're still working on appropriate behaviour around guests.”

           Baekhyun sat up, rubbing his chest.  “That is a big dog.”

           “Yes, she is.  Are you okay?”  Jongin had one hand on Kongju's collar and the other hovering above Baekhyun, anxious to make sure that he was okay, but too awkward to touch him.

           “I'm fine, I'm fine.”  He groaned as he stood up.  “How big is she?”

           “She's only about 40 kilos, but when it all lands on you like that… I'm so sorry.  Are you sure you're okay?”

           “Yeah.”  Baekhyun started to laugh.  “I wasn't expecting that.”

           Jongin was laughing too.  Once the two had calmed a little, Jongin sent Kongju to her crate and asked Baekhyun through to the kitchen, where a couple of chairs and an end table made for a makeshift dining table.  Apologizing for the setup, which Baekhyun assured him was fine, Jongin brought out the dinner he had prepared: hotdogs and crisps.  There had been beans to accompany, but they had been lost to the fire.

           The food was good, for being so slapdash and cheap, and Baekhyun thought that it was sweet Jongin would go to the lengths to cook when he so obviously didn't usually.  Baekhyun commented on the size of the apartment, and it's cleanliness. When they finished eating, Jongin just dumped the plates in the sink and the two moved back into the main room to hang out.

 And the whole place smelled just like Jongin.

--

           Jongin turns the page, sparing a glance for Kongju, who has settled her head on her paws and is just staring at him.  He's confused by the four-leaf clover that falls from between the pages, picking it up and letting it twirl between his fingers. Baekhyun's penmanship is shakier than previously here, but it is still perfectly legible.  It started pouring…

--

           It started pouring, on that summer day.  The sky had gone from beautiful, light, clear blue, to a roiling grey in a matter of moments, catching the boys by surprise. They yelled as they ran for the nearest shelter, hands over their heads.

           They sat in a corner of the bathroom facing the doorway; here they were far enough from the opening not to get wet, but close enough that it wasn't the grossest part of the bathroom.  The rain was very loud on the tin roof – they were in a nature preserve or the like, and the bathrooms weren't terribly high-tech. Thunder started rolling fairly quickly and Baekhyun nervously played with a four-leaf clover he had picked, twisting the stem between the pads of his fingers and tugging gently at the leaves while Jongin tried to make small talk.  Eventually the two both quieted and just sat to wait out the storm. Baekhyun was incapable of sitting still and quiet for very long, though, and started singing under his breath. When Jongin realized where the noise was coming from, he asked Baekhyun if he sang much.  Baekhyun said he didn't, and was flattered when Jongin complimented his voice and asked him to sing some more.

           The storm was long and loud, but their little space was peaceful and calm.  Baekhyun asked Jongin if he would dance, since Baekhyun had been singing, but Jongin said there wasn't enough room and he wasn't good enough yet.  As the storm died down, Jongin helped Baekhyun stand up and the two stood at the doorway, watching the way the grey parted for the warm yellow of the summer sun.

 It was worth the hoarse voice for that little moment of calm.

--

           It's starting to get a little unnerving, the way the Kongju is just sitting and staring at Jongin, and he spares her a little pat as he goes to turn the page.  She whines at his hand on her head, tail completely still.  He thinks that she's finally worn herself from her whining. He turns his attention back to the book, expecting a small photo or memento and a short memory, like the rest of the pages.  Instead, he is greeted by two pages covered by small, glinting, silver handwriting. Squeezed onto the page, the memory begins.  It was obsidian…

--

           It was obsidian stone, cut precisely, all sharp edges and glimmering faces, weighing in his stomach, slicing open his lungs.  Baekhyun curled onto his bed, disregarding the papers scattered there – grade cards covered in red, papers never completed, rent reminders and bills – and pulled his knees to his chin, wrapping his hands around his stomach tightly. The pressure wasn't as comforting as he had hoped, but it was better than nothing, and at least this way his innards wouldn't be able to spill out when the knives inside of him inevitably slit him open.  Everything was black, was black, was black and weighted, pressing on his head and his eyes and his skin until he wanted to cry – to scream – to sob from the pain. He shuddered as his fingers scrabbled at his sides, trying to find something to hold on to as his mind told him he was falling falling falling.  The buzz of his phone echoed in his head, filling the space between his ears and he didn't care because at least it was louder than the thoughts echoing there.  Lacking the energy to even think of answering, he pressed his forehead into his knees.  If asked, he couldn't have said whether his eyes were closed or the world had just gone black.  

           All of his focus, all of his energy, went to the pain of the obsidian in his abdomen.  It jabbed into his lungs, making him gasp for breath.  It stabbed his heart, making it beat erratically. It sliced his veins open, filling his lungs.  It punctured his arteries, coating his organs.  He thought he was drowning.  He thought he was dying.

           He thought it might be easier – better – that way.

           And then there was a click at the door – barely recognized in the fog of his mind, barely distinguished from the echoes already there – and it swung open quietly.  Jongin's feet moved quickly, quietly.  The door was shut and he had made it to Baekhyun's bed, not that it was far, the studio apartment was so small, so small.  

           And Baekhyun was so small with his knees at his chest and his forehead tilted to meet them and his arms hugging himself so tightly.  Jongin hurriedly set the bag in his hands down on the floor and grabbed a pillow off of the floor.  He propped it against the headboard of the bed and slid his hands under Baekhyun.

           If Baekhyun looked small, shivering on his bed, he felt even smaller in Jongin's arms.  He was so thin, like he hadn't eaten properly in weeks, like he would break if Jongin held him too tightly.  Jongin's strong hands sat Baekhyun up so, so carefully and, with great effort, Baekhyun opened his eyes.  Unfocused, they watched Jongin bend back down to pick up the bag, sit back down on the bed.

           He felt, rather than saw, something small and warm pressed into his hands.  His fingers were forced around something small, thin, metallic.  Jongin's worried eyes watched as Baekhyun simply sat there, fingers limp around the bowl, spoon falling, splashing soup onto their pants. It was a soft motion when he reached out to take back the dishes, ever so carefully pulling them from Baekhyun's hands, which released them far too easily.

           Baekhyun's mouth opened reflexively when the warm metal of the spoon pressed against it, lips parting just enough for Jongin to tip the soup in.  A few more bites and Baekhyun's eyes focused and his hand came to grab the spoon.  Jongin helped him with first few bites, then let him feed himself, staying close to him, one hand at his back, the other hovering to assist if needed.

           Once Baekhyun had finished the soup, some small colour returning to his cheeks and his eyes losing their focus again, Jongin pulled the bowl away from him.  Picking him up again, Jongin helped Baekhyun lay down, carefully arranging the small boy to be as comfortable as possible.  He pulled the covers up to Baekhyun's chin and smoothed down his hair, rubbed his back gently.

           “Baek,” Jongin's voice was a little rough, very hushed. “Baek, I'll stop by after practice. Try to get some sleep, all right?”

           Baekhyun stared blankly at the wall as Jongin locked the door behind himself.

             It was still so empty.

--

           Stunned, Jongin turns the page quickly.  His eyes fall immediately upon the perfectly formed words and he begins to read.  People always say that hospitals are too white…

--

           People always say that hospitals are too white. As Baekhyun opened his eyes, he learned why.  The white walls and floor and sheets blinded him, scared him, feeling too close to his own mind.  He was so sore, all over, but especially his head and – his throat.  His throat.  It burned as he breathed; it burned as he swallowed.  His eyes watered at the pain and he tried to reach up to brush them off, but was met with resistance.  Something was tugging on his arm, in his hand, and it hurt to move against it.  He mewled against the pain, voice rasping and catching and tearing his throat raw again.  There was a noise to his right; he turned his head as much as possible and was stunned to see Jongin jerking awake, one hand rubbing at his eyes as he leaned forward, worried eyes darting across Baekhyun.

           Baekhyun was confused, but he found his voice first, rasping out against his raw throat, “What's going on?”

           Jongin rubbed the back of his neck, eyes darting to the door.  “I don't know if – I don't think – I don't know, Baekhyun.”  He sighed, eyes never leaving Baekhyun's face, fingers twisting at his jacket.  “Do you, ah, do you remember?  Anything?”

           Baekhyun shook his head, but his concern had been mounting with every word out of Jongin's mouth because he didn't usually sound so scratchy.  So destroyed.

           “Okay.  They – the doctors – they said that might happen.  I'll go get a nurse, just wait here.”  And with that, Jongin left the room, returning a moment later with a nurse.

           A bevy of doctors followed – physicians and surgeons and psychiatrists and psychologists – and they examined Baekhyun and asked him questions he couldn't answer, couldn't answer.  Eventually, one of them, seeing Baekhyun's distress, patted his leg and, on his way out of the room, said, “I think this might go better if you explain things to him.”

           Jongin stared after him, hands gripping his knees and eyes wide, before sinking back into himself.  He coughed, clearing his throat, but his voice still came out rough, strangled. “Do you really not remember anything?”

           “I don't.  Why, what happened?”  His heart rate was accelerating as he began to panic, fueled by Jongin's nervousness.

           Jongin sighed and dropped his eyes, taking a moment to collect himself before speaking in that strangled voice.  “Baekhyun, you – I – we don't know if it was intentional, or an accident, or - ,” he closed his eyes and breathed out harshly.  “You tried to kill yourself.”

           Baekhyun's eyes scrunched, mouth opening and closing soundlessly as he tried to process this information.  “What?”

           “You – you,” Jongin inhaled sharply, “you tried to kill yourself.  I came back from practice, I was going to check on you, get you to eat something, but...” He shuddered and shook his head, trying to roll out the stress, avoid the tears.  “Bleach.  You'd – bleach – and all I could do – I called 119.  You don't remember anything?”

           “No.”  Baekhyun huddled in on himself, mind reeling at this information.  “Why would I...that...why?  Why?”

           Jongin shook his head.  “I don't know.”  After a moment's pause, he cleared his throat and spoke again, voice rasping.  “Baek, I know it's not the best time, but...”

           He was terrified of what this might be. “What?”

           “There was a plane crash, Baek.  Yesterday.  Early yesterday morning.  It was a flight, Beijing to Seoul and it crashed.  Five survivors.”

           His brain wasn't working.  The information refused to process.  There was no way Jongin was saying what he thought he was saying. It wasn't possible.  There was too much.  It was too much.  The world couldn't be that cruel.

           “Baekhyun, are you listening to me?”  Jongin's voice caught in his throat and it took a minute to come unstuck, turning sideways on its way up and strangling him. “Baekhyun, I said they're dead. Kris and Luhan and Tao.  Their plane crashed and they died.”

           Baekhyun knew he should probably have some kind of reaction, but all he felt was numb.  “And Lay?”

           “He's not dead, yet.  He's hurt really badly, but he's not dead.”

           The room was silent save for the beeps of the machines Baekhyun was hooked to, the machines making sure he was alive.

           “Baekhyun,” Jongin's voice broke and he started to shake, hunching over into himself, “You – you knew about the crash, before you – before you,” he choked, a sob escaping in a rushed gasp.  “They're already gone.  Why would you leave, too?”

           Baekhyun caught him as he collapsed, sobbing.

 This I survived.

--

           This I survived.  The words are written above a hospital bracelet – Baekhyun's hospital bracelet.  Jongin rubs at his neck, trying to loosen the stress from his shoulders.  He remembers that day – those days, really, it took hours for Baekhyun to wake up, and then he had to stay overnight again – in the hospital.

           He whistles at Kongju, who lifts her head at the noise.  “Come here, girl,” he pats his lap.

           She whines as she stretches and plods into his lap. She's big enough she barely has to sit up to lick his face.  Restless again, she lies nicely in his lap but whines and growls and hits her tail on the sofa.

           Jongin doesn't think anything about it; she's an active dog who likes attention.  Sometimes she gets like this.  He turns the page, the pain of the last memory still raw and piercing his heart. This page is comparatively empty. There's a ticket stub – some concert they'd gone to, a year past, that was way too loud and the mics weren't balanced correctly because the band was new and had shit sound guys.  It was way too cold… the memory begins, and Jongin laughs, startling Kongju, because it was.  It was -freezing that day.

--

           It was way too cold for a walk, but they'd still decided to go.  The concert had ended less than an hour previous, and Baekhyun's ears were still ringing, but the river was beautiful.  Baekhyun laughed as Jongin tried to surreptitiously warm his fingers under his arms.  While both of them had remembered scarves, neither had thought to bring proper gloves. Still grinning, Baekhyun grabbed Jongin's wrist and brought it to his face.  He exhaled gently on the frozen fingers, letting his warm breath warm them through.  Too focused on Jongin's hands to notice his face, Baekhyun failed to notice how focused Jongin's gaze was.  He failed to notice how much Jongin wondered what Baekhyun's lips feel like.

           “Tuck them in your scarf,” Baekhyun said, demonstrating with his free hand.  “They'll stay warmer that way.”

           Jongin quickly retracted his hand to follow the advice.  They walked a little more, Baekhyun chattering and Jongin watching Baekhyun, the way he looked out at the river and the lights like a little kid, the way he skipped a little when he walked in the cold, the way his hands tucked into his scarf like paws.

           He looked soft and Jongin reacted to something that he hadn't known was in him.  Grabbing Baekhyun's arm, Jongin stopped their walking, looked at Baekhyun, even and determined and little scary, and, taking advantage of Baekhyun's confusion, pressed their lips together.

           It only lasted a second, little more than a brush of the lips, and Jongin pulled back, bright red and refusing to meet Baekhyun's eyes.

It only lasted a second, and I wanted more.

--

           Jongin jumps at Kongju's sharp bark.  She stares up at him, dark eyes wide and sorrowful, and whines.  The noise pierces Jongin like a needle.

           “Shh, girl, it's okay.  You're safe.  We're safe. Lie, girl.  Kongju, lie down.”  His tone is placating and the orders are sharp and clear and she has to obey him, but she doesn't seem happy about it.  Her tail is down and so are her ears as she slides herself off of the couch to lie on the floor.  “That's it, girl.  Stay.”

           Jongin turns the page and is met by a brilliant yellow decorating the borders of the pages, framing a picture – a selfie – of him and Baekhyun together at a performance.  The handwriting, sloppier than usual, written quickly, in excitement, scattered with emojis, is also in that yellow, that yellow which pops so much against the matte black of the page.  He moved like water…

--

           He moved like water on stage.  Where some of the other dancers were all right angles and sharp movements, Jongin flowed in every motion, a grace attributed to his classical training, but Baekhyun thought that maybe that grace was really just an intrinsic part of the man.

           There was a group dance.  There were a few actually, but Baekhyun didn't notice because all he could see was Jongin.  Jongin in that brilliant yellow spotlight that was a little too bright and a little too strong and hurt to see, but it was a good hurt because somehow that light was Jongin and Baekhyun wasn't sure whether the light was shining on Jongin or from him.

           And Baekhyun watched the way Jongin's feet skipped across the floor, never touching anywhere they didn't intend, never giving anything more than necessary.  And Baekhyun watched Jongin's arms flow, pulling the rest of his body after them, forcing him into perfection.  And Baekhyun watched Jongin's torso twist and turn and place just so, connecting the feet to the arms to the face that was contorting with emotion and completing the performance.

           And Baekhyun looked at Jongin and just knew that this man he loved and this man he would always love and it pierced straight through him, but he didn't feel like he was bleeding.

           After the performance, when the lights had died and the dancers became but human once again, Baekhyun found Jongin.  He found him with a giant grin on both of their faces. Baekhyun grabbed Jongin into a hug, and it was hot and sweaty and stank because dancing is a lot of work, but it was perfect, the way they fit together.  Baekhyun pressed his face into Jongin's neck, trying to feel this man and trying to be felt by this man, before pulling back with his face obscured by a smile.

           “You were fantastic,” he said and meant every word.

           Jongin pulled him back into the hug, crushing him in his arms, thanking him.

           They went out for ice cream after Jongin had washed and changed, sitting together in a booth, daring each other to try increasingly strange flavours.  Baekhyun begged for barbeque afterward and Jongin relented; the meat was good but the company was better.  It was a late night to follow, with video games late into the night at Jongin's. They sat together on the couch, feet touching in the center, Kongju spread heavily across their laps.

           It was everything Baekhyun could have wished for, but more, and he decided that – that light? - that was emitted by Jongin, it had to have been, because it was still there.  Baekhyun wondered how the world existed without Jongin in it. Baekhyun knew he loved that brilliant yellow.

 And this man? - This man I love and love and love.

--

           He has never realized how much that day meant to Baekhyun.  To him, it had been just another day. To Baekhyun, it had obviously been so much more.  Jongin goes to turn the page only to be startled by Kongju jumping up.  She stands at the arm of the couch, alert and on watch.  She's bred to guard, so the behaviour is not unusual.  Jongin pats her on the head and stretches himself down across the couch. Jongin didn't hurt himself a lot…

             Jongin didn't hurt himself a lot, but when he did, he'd sit on the couch with a good book and ice down the injury.  Baekhyun had gotten used to this routine, choosing to plop himself down next to Jongin anytime the book came out.  On this day, Jongin had his foot resting on the coffee table, an ice bag sitting on his knee and a thick blue book in his hands.  Baekhyun settled next to him to watch some TV. Quietly, quietly, of course.

           After a while, Baekhyun grew bored and began to mess with Jongin.  It was a game.  How far could he go before Jongin snapped?

           He never found out.  As Baekhyun was messing with Jongin, Kongju walked into the room and, seeing Baekhyun's actions, decided the boy wanted to play.  Taking a running start, she attempted to jump over Jongin's leg and land on Baekhyun's lap, but she was just too big.

           She crashed into Jongin's leg, pushing him over and down on to Baekhyun.  Both boys toppled to the ground and Kongju, thinking it looked like great fun, jumped on top of the pile.  The boys were pushed together by the massive weight of the dog and both blushed at the position.

 That dog is really too big.

--

           Kongju whines at the door.  Jongin turns the page.  Jongin was fast asleep...

--

           Jongin was fast asleep as Baekhyun slipped out of bed in the morning.  Last night had been a bad night for him; luckily, Jongin was always willing to let Baekhyun crash in his bed.  He wandered over to the shower, quickly scrubbing down with Jongin's body wash – which he loved doing, loved the way he smelled like Jongin for the rest of the day – and cleaned his hair.  He barely bothered to finish drying off before smearing on some makeup.  He had gotten very good at putting on the makeup; it was nearly always perfect.  Lazily, he headed out of the bathroom to scrounge some clothes up from Jongin's dresser. He sang absentmindedly, habit directing his actions far more than reason.

           Baekhyun wasn't far into the bedroom before a pillow met his face.  There wasn't much time to be offended, though, as his boyfriend slid out of bed after the pillow and crawled across the floor to plant his face in Baekhyun's side.

           “I let you stay here,” he mumbled groggily. “You let me sleep.”

           Baekhyun pulled at Jongin's hair in irritation.  Jongin retaliated by pulling on the man's legs, knocking him to the ground.  Laying on top of him, Jongin pet Baekhyun's thigh and started kissing at Baekhyun's side, at the perfect, straight scars that traced down his side.

           The kisses were tired, quiet, soft.  With each kiss, Jongin muttered “I love you” in to Baekhyun's side in his rough, just woken voice.  Jongin was so happy the scars weren't fresh.

 I could have stayed like that forever.

--

           There are only two pages left in the book.  Jongin ignores Kongju as she whines at the door in favor of reading the next page.  Jongin rubbed his ass...

--

           Jongin rubbed his ass.  His voice was incredulous as he addressed Baekhyun. “What the fuck!?”

           Baekhyun rolled his eyes, sitting back on his heels. “I once bit Sehun's but while he was sleeping.”

           Jongin scoffed.  “That's supposed to make me feel better?”

           “Yeah.”

           “How?”

           “You were awake.”

           Jongin stared.  He could not believe the words coming out of Baekhyun's mouth right now.

           Baekhyun quickly backpedaled at the lack of response. “You could have stopped me!”

           Jongin glared daggers at him.

           Baekhyun instinctively covered his crotch.

           “Fuck you, Byun Baekhyun.”

           The bathroom door slammed shut behind Jongin.

 As ways to fuck up go, that was, at least, funny.

--

           Kongju has given up her whining, choosing instead to stand at the door and stare at Jongin.  Thankful for the quiet, Jongin settles into the soft cushions, briefly closing his eyes and stretching his arms.  It's been a long day already, but he's enjoying the memories as he goes through Baekhyun's book.  As he turns the page, his fingers catch on a paperclip, dislodging a paper that's been hastily added.

           The paper is old and grey and torn from something else, edges rough and fraying.  On it is that handwriting, always so familiar, Baekhyun's neat lines, but here it wanders and shakes, as if trying to find its way in the dark.  Jongin's hand involuntarily shakes as he straightens the page.

           It takes less than a moment for the lines to register in his brain, the black searing into his retinas, hovering in his vision even when he glances away for a split second, wishing – hoping – praying – that he is mistaken.  The words are wrong, so wrong, they aren't Baekhyun, but they have to be because the black lines are his handwriting, absolutely.

           The second glance confirms the words and the book is falling falling falling.

I'm sorry

           There's a thud as the couch rocks backwards and falls back on its feet.

I'm

           There's a crash as the coffee table tips over, the days-old mugs shattering on the floor.

so

           There's a slam as the door smashes shut behind him.

sorry

           There's a whine as Kongju pushes her head against the dark wood, waiting.

Jongin

           The book sits, splayed open to that brilliantly yellow page and waits with her.

This isn't to hurt you

           The elevator is too slow for Jongin's impatience, terror and he flies down the stairs instead, jumping to the landing from halfway up, swinging around on the handrail, counting the flights.

I don't want to hurt you

           6…5...4...3...2...1

It's just too much

           He smashes through the doors at the ground floor, startling the lone woman in the lobby at this time of night.  He jumps over her bag and fumbles at the front door handle.

I can't do this

           It's a twenty minute walk with good traffic to Baekhyun's, but he makes it in five.

I can't do it

           He pounds on the elevator button, but the damn thing is broken again.

           It's eight flights of stairs and he thinks his chest is going to burst but he makes it to Baekhyun's door.

It's too much, Jongin

           His vision's blurring from sweat and tears and adrenaline and he can't find the right key and his stone fingers drop it and it won't go in the lock and the door finally, finally creaks open.

I'm so, so sorry

           The white floor is red-flecked – blood, slowly congealing.  It freezes Jongin in the doorway.

I've been fighting this for years

           His heart stops as his eyes track the dull-red blood.

But sometimes the dragon wins

           A knife on the counter, blood dried on the handle, dripping off the blade.

And I'm not the dragon

           A rope, unused, unused, lying next to the knife like an afterthought.

           There's so much blood.

Don't try to do anything

           So much.

           So much and it's pooled on the floor and Jongin doesn't want to look.  Doesn't want to see.

You've done everything you can

           Doesn't want to see Baekhyun, splayed on the floor like a broken doll.

You've done everything you should have

           Doesn't want to see Baekhyun's eyes glazed as they stare at the door.

Thank you for everything

           Doesn't want to see how still the boy's chest is.

There's nothing left to do

           Doesn't want to see doesn't want to see doesn't want to hurt.

I love you

           Jongin's heart stops.

This time, too late.

this || alternate ending

[sadclowngorl]

Video Games!

Very very self indulgent fic i wrote of my and the boys being put in a video game and i drew (horribly) the outfits

“Josuke, I need healing!” Okuyasu leaned forward over his controller as his character was low on health. “Busy man!” Josuke said back and raised his controller trying to fight off the enemy horde. Elizabeth listened to her boys play the game, never really interested in video games.

“Okuyasu, you have a healing potion.” Elizabeth pointed out not looking up from her sketchbook. “What?” He asked raising a brow “You found like three in that chest from the village.” Elizabeth mumbled and Okuyasu was quick to check his inventory, gasping he quickly used his last potion. “Thanks babe!” Okuyasu said and Josuke finally freed himself of the hoard. “Gimme a hand bro!” He said and the two teamed up to fight the horde

The only sounds from the Higashikata living room was grunts and the movements of the controller's. “Okuyasu, what are you doing?” Josuke asked as Okuyasu's character was suddenly attacking Josuke. “I-I don't know man, I can't stop. Why are you fighting back?!” Okuyasu panicked as his controller started to move on its own. Josuke threw his controller down as it still moved “Unplug the controllers!”  Elizabeth said and Okuyasu pulled them out, only for the controllers to plug themselves back in.

Elizabeth grabbed the controller, “Let me try” she pressed play only for a flash of light to blind everyone and she was gone. “Call, Viola!” Josuke gasped and Okuyasu called Elizabeth’s older sister.

“Moon residence. Viola speaking.”

“Elizabeth was sucked into a video game!”

“Mario or Legend of Zelda?”

“Get over here!” Josuke could be heard from over the phone and another flash of light happened.

Okuyasu opened the door as soon as he heard a knock, Viola Moon stood at the door. Koichi and Rohan were behind her “I met these two guys on the way and they followed me here.” She said as she walked in. “Where's Josuke and Elizabeth?” Koichi asked and Okuyasu pointed at the TV which showed two characters that look exactly like said people.

Dialogue appeared on the screen “Okuyasu! Have you seen the stand user?” Elizabeth appeared on the screen. “What the hell is my sister wearing, did you guys put her in that?” Viola growled at Okuyasu who sweated. “No we didn't! We promise!”, He grabbed the controller and another flash of light appeared.

“Okuyasu!” Koichi yelled and went to grab the controller only for Viola to hold him back. “Don't touch the controller!” She said and suddenly video game music came from the TV. “Play 3 has entered the game! Game full!” A voice said

Rohan huffed and grabbed the remote, nothing happened to him, Viola raised a brow and grabbed the second controller. “Koichi plug the other controller in.” Rohan said and Koichi hesitantly did as said.

“Welcome to the game, players! Here are the rules!” Dialogue appeared and voice read it;

“Play fair!

No cheating!

If your character dies then they die in real life!"

“What!?” the three yelled in unison.

Viola clicked a button and the voice continued.

“How to play;

Defeat at least six hordes of enemies and still have three hearts. If you do not defeat six hordes or loose three hearts then you will die!” Koichi shivered at the last word.

“Choose your character.”

Viola looked at the screen and choose Elizabeth, she wears a black leotard with a wide cleavage window. A moon belt with thigh high socks and a black cape that covers the crescent moon on her face. She holds a staff that has a carved Moon. “The Moon is my mother! I will fight in her honor!” Viola chuckled at her sister's dedication.

Koichi choose Okuyasu,a barbarian with a pelt cape and loin cloth, and a pair of gauntlets. “I may not be the brainiest but I sure as hell am the buffest!” Koichi smiled “That's Okuyasu.”

Rohan groaned. “You two planned this didn't you? Giving me this bird nest buffoon!” Rohan clicked on Josuke, a healer who wears a long sleeved collared coat with multiple accessories, the coat covers his entire body. “I'm a healer and a lover!” Rohan scoffed at Josuke's quote.

“Ready?

Set

Play!” The announcer cheered and suddenly hoards came for the trio.

Elizabeth's eyes widened “I have to fight in this!?” she yelled looking down at her outfit.

“Hot” Josuke gave her thumbs up and was sent off to hold back the hordes. Elizabeth groaned and raised her staff, the moon shined down onto the hordes, Two hordes started to float into the air. Some members of the hoard started to attack her.

“Gah!” Her offense was weak and she quickly lost a heart.

Viola huffed and pressed harder onto the buttons.

Elizabeth raised her staff weakly and the moon shined onto her. Her eyes glowed, the moon only gave her back half a heart.

Koichi leaned closer to the screen, biting his cheek.

“I'm gonna beat you until you disappear!” Okuyasu yelled and headed straight towards another horde, fists clenched and up front. He punched his way through the group and knocked them all into the ground, each of them disappeared. Okuyasu let out a cheer and punched his fists together.

Koichi cheered with Okuyasu “Yes!”

Okuyasu was quickly jumped by two enemies. “What the-!?” Okuyasu yelled as he fell onto the ground, he was dog piled by more.

“Help!” Both Okuyasu and Koichi said.

Rohan smirked and sent Josuke towards Okuyasu, “Do something you sack of shit!” Rohan yelled as Josuke stood there. “Rohan, you have to actually press the buttons.” Viola grumbled as she pressed a button for Elizabeth to send another enemy in the air.

Rohan grumbled and pressed random buttons, Josuke randomly kicked the dog pile of enemies. Two enemies flew off and were knocked out, Rohan scoffed and pressed another button.

“Cleansing thoughts!” Josuke said and raised his hand, his large book opened and the pages turned. The pile dispersed and the group bowed towards Josuke, officially being cleansed of evil they left into the woods.

“Not bad, bird nest” Rohan smirked and healed Okuyasu.

Elizabeth joined the two already putting another horde into the air. “Damn babe, you're good at this.” Okuyasu smiled and Elizabeth shrugged “It's like dungeons and dragons but real life.”

Quickly the last two hordes were defeated by the trio and they cheered. “I wonder if there's another level.” Josuke laughed as he pulled the two into a hug.

The announcer spoke “Final Level. Video Killed The Radio Star!”

The trio's hearts show, Josuke has 2, Elizabeth 2, and a half abd Okuyasu 1 and a half.

“Healing!” Koichi yelled and Rohan glared at the screen, healing Okuyasu to have 2 and a half hearts. In the game the ground shook, the controllers vibrated in the other trios hands.

“Boss Level.” Viola frowned “I hate boss levels.”

Josuke held tight onto the two as the ground started to fall apart, a large figure rose from the breaking ground. “It's the boss!” Elizabeth said as she hid in Josuke's chest.

The figure was unrecognisable until it stood up straight to show it had a TV for a head. The TV screen was rapidly changing channels, from old 50s comedies to politics news it couldn't decided. It swiped at the trio but they ducked.

“I think that's the stand!” Josuke said as he let the two go. Okuyasu nodded and quickly started to run towards it, it swiped at him again but he jumped out the way and landed onto its arm.

Quickly Okuyasu lost balance and fell backwards, he grabbed onto the Stands arm and pulled himself back up, the stand swiped again this time aiming for Elizabeth.

She raised her staff and rocks shot towards the Stand. Crashing into the screen, it cracked. Okuyasu ran up to the screen and punched it with his right gauntlet.

The giant stand stumbled, the screen started to turn to static. Okuyasu lost his balance again this time not able to catch himself he screamed.

“Need a hand?” A voice said as he floated to the ground. Okuyasu laughed as he saw Elizabeth standing over him.

Josuke was inspecting the fallen stand “That was too easy.” he hummed as the TV screen was flickering.

The screen changed to the classic movie, the terminator.

“I'll be back.”

Josuke shivered as the screen turned off and the stand disappeared. He joined the two who were catching their breath. “Why aren't we out?” Okuyasu asked and looked up at the ‘sky.’

“Heavens Door!” Rohan yelled. “Bee Gees!” Viola called out her stand who buzzed loudly. The two adults were standing in front of a unconscious Koichi who was attacked by the stand user who broke into the home.

Quickly the stand user passed out, his face turned into pages. Rohan wrote the usual ‘I am not able to cause any harm to Rohan Kishibe’

“He works at the arcade and is sick of kids not coming to the arcade, instead going to play video games at home. Stand user of Radio killed the video star. Josuke Higashikata game console was the first console his stand has entered.” Rohan mumbled more unimportant information about the stranger “The only way for the person in the console to come out is to destroy the console itself.” Rohan smirked and stood closing the mans open face, happy to destroy one of Josuke's favorite things.

He unplugged the game console from the wall and with a laugh he threw it on the ground, repeatedly stepping on it. Not noticing that after the first stomp the trio was free, still in their new outfits.

Josuke’s eyes widened “Rohan, what the hell are you doing to my stuff!?” he yelled and Rohan laughed “What? It was rotting your brain more than that hair is.” He said over confidently.

“ah shit” Elizabeth mumbled as Josuke went off again, demolishing Rohan and everything in sight.

“You're dating that guy?” Viola asked with a raised brow, both Okuyasu and Elizabeth nodded. Viola rolled her eyes “I'll see you at the house later, by the way your friend is unconscious.” Viola said and left.

After calming down Josuke and fixing all the damages, Koichi and Rohan left taking the stand user that was caught in Josuke's wrath with them. The trio of teens decided resting is the best way to end the day, grabbing a couple of blankets and a pillow the three bundled up on the couch and enjoyed their video game free night.

[thunderflight]

You don't want to see ghosts [Part 2]

"I think my house is haunted," she whispered to me in the hallway, her hand gripping my arm. “Ghosts don’t exist,” I retorted coldly, gripping my pencil as I closed my journal.

“I keep seeing a scary man in my house,” she told me in a hushed voice during English class. “It’s your imagination,” I replied angrily, crinkling a page of the book I was reading as I gripped it tightly.

We were thirteen. The horrors of my childhood were becoming distant memories. Now, she was threatening my cause. The ghosts were fading. I didn’t want to see them again. She didn’t understand my sudden hostility and anger. I’m sure it hurt her. I couldn’t give a shit about that then.

I was selfish. I didn’t let it interest me. I refused responsibility. It didn’t even matter if she was my best friend.

I was such an fucking idiot.

Her eyes grew sunken. She became skinnier, more paranoid. She was afraid of something.

I wavered.

But I could not help her. My denial was stronger than my compassion. I was done with ghosts and demons. I was too afraid. Why is it wrong to be afraid if it keeps you safe?

One day, she stopped coming to school.

My classmates whispered all kinds of rumors. The administration wouldn’t tell us anything, but I knew something was wrong by the look in my teacher’s eyes.

Missing. She was missing.

For nearly a week.

As the days passed, I grew restless. Guilt settled down like a weight on my heart.

On my way home from school one day, I got off the bus early. I walked down the street to her house, biting my lip, scanning her windows. Nothing but silence remained. Was it too cruel of me to be concerned now?

I turned around and started the longer trek back to my house, walking along the river bank as I was lost in my thoughts. It was there that I saw her.

I almost tripped over myself. She was standing waist-deep in the water, her back turned to me, her long brown hair floating in the wind. I called her name, tears in my eyes, relief in my heart. I dropped my backpack as I ran into the water, the cold current soaking my stockings. She raised her head, turning slowly. Her hair floated in the wind - the wind…

What wind? There was no wind…

When I caught sight of her face, I froze.

Blood dripped from her mouth. A long line cut across her throat, seeping with a dark red liquid.

“Lost,” she gurgled, blood dripping from her lips.

I cried out, covering my mouth in horror as I stumbled backwards.

“I...think I’m...lost...Annie…” she gurgled. It was hard for her to talk. “I can’t...brea..the…” Her arms reached out for me, her skin bloated and rotting, her eyes bloodshot. She was missing fingers.

I had seen countless ghosts in the years before, many with worse wounds than that terrible gash in her neck. Yet, they were nameless to me. They had become as insignificant as a fly on the wall, immeasurable in number, impossible to care for altogether. But to see her - my closest friend, my dearest companion, transparent and suspended like a doll hanging from a ghostly thread, her neck pouring with a mockery of life she once contained - it agonized me to my very core.

I screamed in despair, scrambling to return to the edge of the bank. I grabbed my backpack, sprinting down the road and yelling incoherently, snot pouring down my lips. I fell a few times, hard concrete skinning my knees, but I hardly felt it. How could I ever forgive myself for this? Terror, fear, and utter grief tore through me. People stared as I stumbled down the road until I finally collapsed in the street.

A couple ran over to me, pulling me up firm hands. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong? What’s wrong?” the husband asked me with deep concern as the wife took my backpack, offering me a handkerchief. Their hands were warm, even comforting, but I could not be moved. “Sh-sh-she’s in the w-water,” I gurgled, sobbing. “Who, darling?” the wife murmured, wiping my tears. “All...Allie...I saw her...in th-the w-water!” Their eyes grew grim as they exchanged a glance, fear flashing in their eyes.

The authorities were called. A serious policeman interrogated me as I shivered in the blanket he wrapped me in. I told him I had seen her bleeding in the water. They scoured the river day after day until they finally found her rotting corpse beneath an overpass, her throat slit and black, fingers and toes missing.

They were convinced that I must have seen her right after she had died since I saw her freshly bleeding. I couldn’t tell them the truth. I didn’t think anyone would believe me. They had no leads. There was no connection to any living person who could do this to her, though they suspected her father. I knew in my heart he was innocent, but how can you tell adults that a ghost killed your friend?

I always thought ghosts were inconsequential echoes of life, incapable of changing reality. Demons were the only real threat, but I wanted nothing to do with them. They were so few and far between that they almost seemed like myths, a boogeyman that couldn’t possibly exist. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever guessed ghosts could kill somebody. My friend had tried asking me for help, terrorized in every waking moment. She had no idea how much help I could truly offer because I denied even that to her.

All the memories of our happy moments playing together, smiles and laughter in golden sunlight, her soft hugs warming up my saddest days, they all replayed in my mind like a twisted movie. Every happy moment was fresh with grief, now. The ghosts I refused to believe in were knocking at my door. Could I deny her again in death the way I had in life?

It was my fault she was dead. I could have saved her if I had just told her the truth. I turned my back on her. Where was I when she bled to death in the cold water? My nose stuck in a book, willing myself to forget her pleas?

As the days passed, the grief set in over the shock. It was my responsibility. She made sure to remind me. She was inescapable. I saw her ghost in the hallways, in the windows of her house, and sometimes in the corners of my room. Her spectral blood pooled at my feet as she grasped at me, unable to touch me but desperate to hold me again. Her eyes were confused and sad. I don’t think she even knew she was dead, but she knew she was in pain. It was a torment for me. She was begging me and I could refuse her no longer. I knew in my heart what I must do.

It was up to me alone to unravel what had terrible, gruesome thing had happened to her.

(( Part 2 is not yet on reddit due to the 1 post per day limit, but once it's up there, give it some love! ))

[renkocchi]

Don't let the secret be known

Part 1, maybe. I’m not sure if I’m going to continue this ahahah… With the help of @notkreti hehe :>

Natsume had just returned from school, on that windy summer day. He climbed up the stairs to his room and sat himself on the floor after cautiously placing the Book of Friends on his desk. He began eating the ice cream Touko  had bought for him while reading a book. The wind chime made a pleasant sound. Touko's  soft voice could be heard, ever so slightly. She must have been talking on the phone. Nyanko-sensei was nowhere to be found in the house -no wonder it was so quiet. Natsume lied down and closed his eyes. He let the breeze stroke his face.   “I have found you…” He heard a whisper and jumped up.   “Who’s there…?” He said in a low voice so as to not be heard by Touko.   “I have found you, loathed Reiko…” The same whisper was heard but nothing could be seen around him.   A youkai? Where is it… The wind chime stopped making any sound whatsoever, even though the wind was still blowing quite strongly outside the window. His eyes rushed to the chime but nothing was there. A foot with seven toes slade down from the roof, and the other one followed.   “Uwah…” He grabbed the Book of Friends and took some steps backwards. The Youkai was tall. It’s body was covered by a black kimono and it’s face, covered with a mask, was looking through Natsume’s window now. His room was on the second floor. A giant hand stretched towards him, too fast for him to dodge.   “I shall have my revenge…”   “Ugh!” His bones would be crushed at this rate, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t yell for help. His feet were not touching the floor. “Guh…”   “Takashi? Is there something wrong?” Touko was close to his room.   *no, no…*   “Let me go…”   “I shall have my revenge!” The Youkai yelled and Natsume let out a cry.   “Let go!!”   “Takashi?!” Touko rushed inside with a face full of worry, only to freeze at the sight of Natsume floating above almost half a meter the floor, talking to something that she could not see, obviously in pain. The Youkai disappeared right away, as soon as Touko entered the room. Natsume crushed on the floor, unable to move.   “Touko…” He whispered when he saw her expression. She had gone pale, and she was wearing a face Natsume had never seen on her before. Was it fear?   *no, it’s the same…* The same as everyone else. His heart was pounding so fast. It was as if it was trying to escape from his chest.   *I don’t want to leave this place…*   “Ta… Takashi…” she managed to say with a trembling voice. Natsume couldn’t look her in the eyes.   “Yes…” He murmured, failing an attempt to get up and pretend nothing happened.   “My God… are you okay? Wait a second, I… I’m going to get the first-aid kit.”   “Eh?” Touko rushed out of the room, leaving him dumbfounded. His eyelids felt heavy and he was in a daze. Nyanko-sensei snuck inside the room from the window.   “I’m ba– Fool, Natsume, did you return another name?”   “Sensei…” He muttered before his eyes closed.

  “Liar, liar…"  “why do you lie like that?"  "He’s creepy, he says he can see things… he messed up the room today again…”   “This is your home now, Takashi…”   *She found out… She looked at me like everyone else… ah, I can’t stay here anymore. I’ve caused trouble yet again… maybe it will be better if I just…*   “Takashi? Takashi?” A voice he knew was calling him. He opened his eyes.   “Touko…”   “Thank goodness, are you okay? You have a fever, drink your medicine.”   “Touko, I’m…” He tried to push his body up.   “You’re sick and you must rest.” She was wearing her usual, kind expression. Natsume looked over at Nyanko-sensei, who was signaling him that everything was under control. Even though his body hurt, he pulled his upper body up and drank the medicine. Touko flashed a smile and left the room. He fell back down on his futon.   “Hinoe was watching. She told me everything and erased Touko’s memories of the incident.”    “Thank goodness… I didn’t want her to know. I wouldn’t be able to stay here if she did…”    “Idiot.”

  Natsume closed his eyes once again, trying to remember what exactly had happened. The masked Youkai, a sharp pain, and Touko. At that time, she didn’t comment on anything. Not on the fact that he was floating before her eyes -since she couldn’t see the Youkai- and not to the fact that he was yelling at nothingness.

He felt so pressured. What if something had gone wrong, and Touko did know everything? She must have heard bad things about him from other relatives, she must have suspected things. But still, up until now, she kept looking at him with different eyes from everyone else. Up until now. He couldn’t shake off the memory of the look in her eyes. Pity and fear, all mixed with a great amount of disgust. He didn’t want to believe that Touko could put on a face like that.

That night, Natsume had a dream. The masked Youkai from earlier was walking around the woods aimlessly during a cold winter day. “I wonder, I wonder…” it kept mumbling “I wonder where I shall find a worthy opponent.” its smile was ominous. Soon enough, Reiko’s figure could be seen in the snow. The conversation between the two could not be heard, but the usual phrase reached Natsume’s ears. “���If you beat me, you can even eat me…” As expected, the winner was Reiko. And the Youkai didn’t like its loss. It began following Reiko around, causing trouble for her or her relatives and classmates. Reiko was annoyed, so annoyed that she was looking for ways to seal the Youkai. And she had succeed, but now the seal was broken. The mask viewed the monster’s emotions, and Natsume, through both his eyes and the memory, had seen hate, the desire to take its revenge, annoyance, fear and questioning, but never ease, or joy. And that scared him the most. He liked to believe that like in people, Youkai too can be either good or evil. But lately, he began thinking that nobody is necessarily representing only one of the two. Nobody reflects evil only, and nobody reflects goodness only. And it would be great if that was the case with the Youkai too. But this one seemed to have decided its path.

A sudden movement of something huge made him open his eyes. Nyanko-sensei, now transformed into the white beast, Madara, was moving his tale back and forth, while looking out of the window with an intimidating look. “Tch, that damned thing’s fast.” Natsume’s physical pain had not subdued, but he jerked his body up nonetheless, placing his hands on the beast’s fur. Madara could tell the human’s small palms were trembling, and he knew that the boy knew team Youkai’s past through the dream. “What… happened, Sensei? The question came out as a whisper, and Madara only let out sigh before a small sound and a gust of wind turn him into the round cat he usually went around as. "It tried to sneak into the house -but since I was here, it didn’t dare get close. You’d better buy me something as thanks.” The cat sneered, and the boy looked at it’s eyes kindly, before relief rushed through his body and he fell back down on the futon. The coming days were sure to be trouble.

Touko let Natsume go to school two days after the incident. Thankfully, that horrible, horrible look had never appeared in her eyes again. But even if it did, Natsume already knew from that one instant, that Touko too could think of him just like everyone else did, before her. “I’m going now.” With that phrase, he greeted the couple and went on his way, with his round bodyguard at his side. And that road to school was when it all began going downhill. “Natsume, good morning.” The boy patted his friend’s shoulder. “Good morning, Nishimura.” He felt a bit relieves to see his friend doing well, he’d made a lot of worst case scenarios in his head the past two days. “Are you okay now? Touko told me you were sick.” “Yeah, I’m fine now, thanks. Other than that, are you okay?” “Yeah, why?” As he said that, Nishimura felt pinned to the ground. He couldn’t take another step. And Natsume could see just what was pinning down his friend. And what was approaching them in the middle of the road was a vehicle. *I have to do something!*

The masked Youkai might as well have been laughing at the boy’s frustration, even if it thought he was Reiko. “Natsume, so something!” The van was rapidly approaching, and the only thing Natsume could do, seeing as he couldn’t push the Youkai away, was command Sensei to exorcise it. “Natsume!” And that’s what he did. The strong light flashed before his eyes, but the Youkai managed to get away safe. Natsume pushed Nishimura out of the road. He was scared stiff.

“Na… Natsume, what just happened…?” He whispered, trembling as he saw the van pass by them. The blond boy had teared up, but he didn’t want to let Nishimura see him like that. Well, at least not when he was already crying. He had priority, and he deserved an explanation. One that Natsume could not give him. So when he opened his mouth, nothing but one phrase came out.

“I’m sorry… Nishimura, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” that was what he had always feared. Getting someone involved, hurting someone he cared about only because he could see. Only because he happened to be Reiko’s relative. “It’s all my fault, I’m sorry…” “Can you tell me just what happened? There’s no need to apologise, you didn’t do anything…” Nishimura’s tears had stopped falling by now, but his trembling was still there, intense and probably unstoppable. Natsume couldn’t possibly explain what caused this near death experience to his friend. “I’ll take you home….” He muttered and helped him get up. “Thanks.” He too, decided not to question it. Natsume seemed even more scared than he was, so it was probably better to let it go and discuss it another time. Whatever it was, it seemed to be troubling Natsume quite a lot and Nishimura didn’t really like that.

Natsume went straight back to the Fujiwaras’ house after making sure Nishimura was home, safe and sound. He gave all kinds of explanations to Touko and finally went back to his room, ready to break down. And just as he had began crying, feeling regret with every bit of his soul, she walked inside. He didn’t even notice her wrapping her hands around him, not until he felt her warmth. And it felt, so, so comfortable in her arms. He had never known a mother’s warmth but he guessed that was it. “It will be okay.” Touko muttered kindly, and Natsume sunk inside an otherworldly warmth.