#she goes pretty much everywhere with them unless they're going out to eat

[gnawd]

jules has a sweet only couple years old rottweiler named ripley ( this is an alien reference ) and they found her during their mutual time on the street . it takes a while gaining her comfort to be able to bring her home once they get their place but they looked after each other . jules cares more about ripley than pretty much anything or anyone else .

[heckthis-heckallofthis]

Random headcanons I think of sometimes (Oops! All Friends spinoff)

Dendritic cell doesn't get his cytokine material himself, he employs the M cells in the bars to capture the most horrendous images of immune cells while they're all intoxicated (he wears a feather boa when he's activated <3)

Canon but I don't think a lot of people know, he has good voice acting skills with his singing + narration being pretty good

Leaves his plushies everywhere. Gave one to M cell to see if it'd cheer him up, it did because M cell was happy he tried helping him. Dendritic cell thought it was just because of the cuteness and purity of the lactic acid bacterium

He visits M cell so much, every time M cell rings up the dendritic cells for antigen presentation it's always our beloved Dendritick cell that comes to his bar to get it

Dendritic cell also started out absolutely terrified of bacteria, had to practice very hard with antigen presentation

There is written fiction of the neutrophils, probably a lot of BL let's be real

There is a popular book that is like Twilight but with those weirdos

All neutrophils except for 2145 have colored hair and eyes, I will not elaborate

More of a general thing rather than only friends, but neutrophils definitely have sharper teeth compared to non phagocyte cells

2145 goes to work everyday even on his off days, it's for a free lunch

2145 eats the body of cells right in front of other cells without thinking of the implications, he is enjoying the snack.

His favorite past time is listening to 1235 talk about her day, she is like a radio for him

3033 doesn't have a single creative bone in his body, you ask him to draw something and it barely even looks like what you wanted. He wears all white all the time because he doesn't know what outfits look good with what color, it's terrible.

Squad Leader would kill himself if he knew, but 3033 dislikes him. It's not for any particular reason, they just don't mesh well. It's okay since Squad Leader doesn't bother 3033 a lot anyways

Canon but I never realized this in 3 years of reading this manga: 3033 doesn't wear his knife straps on his legs if it isn't necessary to use those knives, only wears them when he needs to fight something dangerous.

M cell low-key has trouble eating enough because of his depression. You can directly counter this by getting him foods that expire within a day or two, he hates wasting food so he eats it before it expires.

Actually canon again but I need more people to know: M cell can make balloon animals

The fact that M cell has a lot of random skills in general, I wouldn't he surprised if he knew how to make stained glass art or could do wood carving

Cross reads the smuttiest, most vile BL stories as a past time. If you find his stash he will go insane.

He also enjoys talking to 1235 about squad leader (and then later on about 3033, girl talk)

1235 befriends so many immune cells because just like AE3803 from Main, she is a danger magnet. Everytime she is saved from an immune cell she makes small talk with them no matter how introverted they are (see 2145, NK and Eosinophil)

Helper T cell doesn't remember anything from his thymus days because it was so traumatizing he just blocks out those memories. It's not that he doesn't recognize Squad Leader, it's that his mind won't let him remember.

Squad Leader physically cannot hit another cell without orders, he can hit HT because Squad Leader is filled with so much rage every time he sees HT he just gains the strength to do it.

Also a general HC but I think Reg T cells in general have major face blindness. Unless you're someone close to them they will not recognize you once you do a change of clothes, but it's okay, as long as you still have the right receptors for the body they will protect you.

Eosinophil regularly visits M cell's bar because not only is it good practice for her with minimal casualties (poor M cell) but also it's an unpopular bar so she doesn't need to be so anxious.

B cell tried to hit on Eosinophil exactly once (1) and stopped because she exploded from anxiety and B cell thought she hated him so much she'd rather explode than talk to him

B cell and M cell don't like each other a lot, M cell thinks he's too loud, and B cell thinks he's too much of a downer. Partly the reason why Memory cell visited his bar alone without B cell

If you put NK and Eosinophil in the same room alone, they would just not talk. No conversation between those two. NK thinks Eos is judging her but Eos thinks NK doesn't like her and doesn't want to talk to her.

B cell and Mast cell get along surprisingly well (ignore how in canon Mast cell says he'll never talk to him again if he insults his gacha game girlies again), B cell talks about the pretty cells he sees regularly on the job while Mast cell show him his anime girls. Mutual respect until B cell is like "Well I prefer girls you can actually touch in the real world" in which Mast cell will tell him to shut up

[fuzzydreamin]

🍄 🌻 🌿 🌱 for Al & Nora?

🍄 [MUSHROOM] How likely is your OC to eat random berries/mushrooms they find?

✪ Nora: Nope. She can't identify plants for shit and is too smart to go munching random things.

✝ Alberta: Probably not. Unless Butch dares them.

🌻 [SUNFLOWER] Where would your OC get lost in the moment/beauty of the place?

✪ Nora gets lost in people moreso than places. Places are nice and all, especially a nice jazz club - like if The Third Rail was a much more classy establishment - but time spent with someone is so much more alluring. Whether it's during a simple conversation or sex, Nora is likely to take a second to sit back and just take the other person, or people, in for a moment.

✝ Alberta: Somewhere sunny and lush, that looks almost pre-war, like Oasis or Braun's simulation. Also viewing earth from space, on the bridge or just outside of Mothership Zeta. It's not a situation they seek out or even think about until they're just there and seeing it.

🌿 [HERB] Is your OC religious? What do they believe in?

✪ Nora: No. She wasn't raised to be religious and just doesn't really think about that kind of thing until confronted with it. She'll be polite and even try to understand why someone else might want to believe in those things, but even after seeing a lot of the Ug-Qualtoth and Atom stuff she remains skeptical. Maybe there's some truth to it, but she's taking the stance that it just doesn't involve her and she'd very much like to keep it that way.

✝ Alberta: Yes and no. Even as a kid she was skeptical of what James taught her of his religion, for a bunch of different reasons, but that doesn't mean she didn't believe in it at least a little. That belief definitely affected them too.

They'd say they don't believe it anymore, and they only wear their fathers cross as a memento of him, but some part of them still wonders if theres any truth to it - especially since they're facing their own mortality and wondering what comes next there.

🌱 [SEEDLING] What new passions/hates is your OC discovering?

✪ Nora

Likes: Modifying weapons and armour. It's not a full blown passion or anything, but learning what changes she can make to something that can also help change the outcome of a fight is certainly something she takes an interest in. This goes for most of the 'crafting system' in Fallout. If Nora can learn something potentially useful then she will, that's just branching out to more hands-on activities since she woke up.

Hates: Walking everywhere. And camping/sleeping outside or in ruined buildings all the time.

✝ Alberta

Likes: Staying alive? At least, not just rolling over and letting death take them.

Hates: Herself No, that's not new. Al's pretty set on the "things I hate" list. Yeah, not to much to say about her.

[purplesurveys]

1767

Have you had more hot or cold drinks today? More of cold. I will say though(!!!) I've recently...turned a shift towards hot coffee? Like this is not bad at all??? I've been having hot mugs all week long and it may very well grow to become a new habit of mine.

What's a name you like that's similar to yours? There aren't a lot of names that bear a similarity to Robyn per se, but in the sense that it's unisex I am generally a fan of such names – like Stevie, Frankie, Dylan, Billie/Billy...

Where did you get the last plate/bowl you ate with from? I don't know, these were the plates we've had from the day we moved in here. I'm guessing they were bought by my parents at some mall.

How's your mental health today? It is very stable and I can tell you it's because I don't have to think about work until Friday.

What bands and artists did you listen to when you were a teenager? Mainly Paramore, but there was a lot of punk rock in there as well. Rancid, H2O, The Bouncing Souls, Against Me!, The Misfits...I don't listen to them nearly as much anymore but I'll always have a soft spot for each of them and for that phase in my life.

Do your feelings get hurt easily? Yes, I'm quite sensitive.

What sort of restaurant did you last eat at? Well it was a Chili's, so. American and a bit of Mexican in there if I understood their concept correctly lol? Anyway, it was my first time eating there too and tbh I had had a high standard because of its price range, only to not be impressed. Why is it even so expensive there? They serve exactly the same stuff you'd find everywhere else.

Do you have a friend who's always sending you TikTok videos? Do you actually watch them? Kata used to send me TikTok videos until she stopped because I never was on the app, lol. Angela would still send me some occasionally, though.

Have you ever seen a cougar in the wild? Never.

Will you attend a wedding in the next 3 months? Unless I get an invitation from today, no.

Are you good at following instructions? They have to be written/printed out otherwise I'd forget instantly.

What's your backyard or outdoor area like? It's clean and plain, but we don't really do things there. We prefer to entertain guests in the living room or at the rooftop.

Do you like your boss? (or your last boss if you don't currently have one) Bea has always been a fantastic superior and mentor to me from the day I stepped in the workplace, which is why I'm gutted that she's leaving any day now. My personal work morale has been low ever since she announced the news and I still haven't figured out how I'm supposed to manage everything and everyone once she's actually out the door.

When was the last time you took a selfie? Does it count if it's a mirror selfie? I took a few ones at the salon earlier this afternoon when I was getting my hair dyed.

What did you have for breakfast yesterday? Fried rice with egg and ham bits.

What do you do to entertain yourself on a long flight or journey? I would download several YouTube videos in advance so I can watch them while offline.

Where are you right now? I'm at the rooftop but I literally am gonna pack up and go back to my room after this question because holy fuck does my back hurt.

Have you ever done a hearing test? Continued a whole day after. I don't think I have.

Do you hate small talk? Depends on how it goes. I'm pretty good with small talk but you can only do so much if the other person is too shy or is stingy with their responses. If I sense that they're not into conversing then I stop.

What's the hottest temperature your current town/city has ever had? There's no confirmed record for the hottest temperature in my city. I'm gonna guess somewhere between 40-45ºC though as summers can get brutal.

What programs/applications do you currently have open on the device you're using right now? I have Chrome, Spotify, and Notes.

How many steps per day do you do, generally? Hahahaha. I work from home and don't exercise so the average is less than 100 a day, embarrassingly enough. It's a different story when I get the chance to be outside because I do like to catch up on my steps; for days like those I would average anywhere between 8,000 to 10,000.

Have you had any snacks today? Yeah I had a couple bags of my favorite sweet corn chips. It's not as bad as it sounds – the bags are *really* tiny so that's why I had to have two of them lol.

Did you have any exchange students at your high school or university and did you become friends with them? We probably had batches of them come and go in college but I never did recognize them. My university has a huge population and it would've been impossible to know every single student.

What's the next thing you'll tick off your to-do list? It's a holiday tomorrow but I need to do a bit of work here and there just so I'm not completely stacked by Friday.

Have you ever had a chia pet? No.

What's your favourite sandwich filling? Pulled pork.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? Nopes.

What was the last reason you saw a doctor? Dog bite.

Do you use light mode or dark mode on your phone? It's been on dark mode for as long as I've had it.

[poltergeist-coffee]

I love that the brazilians in the college au are like "do not separate or they will set the university on fire" BUT CELLBIT AND SLIME BEING THE PRESIDENT AND VICE PRESIDENT OF THE TTRP CLUB, LES GOOOOOOOO Pac and Mike are the local mad scientists I think both Bagi and Cellbit would do college to be a investigator or something, I don't quite know the exact thing but I think law sounds right Felps is doind Felps things I think people stoped wondering how he does the things he does and just accepted it as a Felps thing They have a dubious past you say? *insert eye emoji* I don't know if he actually does, but I will believe that Cellbit has a personal problem with the mascot(Cucurucho) as aways, not even for a actual reason he just hates him, until stated otherwise But yeah, feel free to talk as much as you want about this au(not just the brazilians, the others too) I will eat every word you write, Fantasminha I think they deserve to go through normal college shennanigans instead of trying to escape an prison island and look for their kids and friends(unless you have other things planned *insert another eye emoji*) How about Slime in this au? And his I won't swear but you know what I mean:) wife Oh, and the eggs? Are they a thing? I dunno, random children their found somewhere and just adopted anyway, I don't know why I think this is funny Or maybe another thing (Also, Maximus and Pierre broke up on lore??? THEY WERE DATING???? Oh yeah, and tiny Felps died Well, people said they weren't going to last 3 days R.i.p Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelpinho, you will be missed) - The only and one, Plate Anon, once again without emojis

GIGGLING IM GLAD YOU LIKE IT!!

Yea i also don't know what degree you'd need in college to be an investigator?? so criminal law seems pretty close and good enough for me lol (if cellbit has to go to prison again he will be his own lawyer and totally win the case) (if he's going to break laws he should know then first and then he can do it all legally you know :DD)

Felps is just like that and we all love him for who he is u-u it's simple really (his studio door is bright magenta like his twitch icon and he painted the face on the door too) (i am willing to bet the inside studio is also pink)

THAT WOULD BE SO FUNNY IF CELLBIT ALSO JUST HATES CUCURUCHO,,,, it looks creepy that's why he hates it. Jaiden on the other hand LOVES Cucurucho and thinks he's so cute. She keeps a little plush of one on her bag and Cellbit glares at it everytime Jaiden isn't looking

Jaiden and Roier ofc are also apart of this au :DD they're roommates of course and Jaiden is 100% willing to kill Cellbit for him. If Roier even looks sad a little sad she asks if Cellbit made him sad and starts to pull out her katana <33 no one messes with her best friend. She's an art major ofc and Roier is in Psychology!!

I don't think I ever figured out a major for Slime but Mariana (his bitch wife) is a film major minoring in music (singing!! he wants to be a singer!!). they are dating (ofc) but no one is allowed to say they are because they both get really weird about it... they can flirt with you but you can't flirt back with the because they'll accuse you of trying to ruin their relationship u-u i love them dearly and how they make each other 10% worse when around one another

I'm not sure if I want the eggs to be real kids or not >:// I think it would be cute though if Jaiden and Roier both have like a Bobby plushie (egg with overalls) that they both carry around. He goes with them everywhere and they basically treat him like their son lol

[fademirrored]

minor headcanons: critters: alpha world state

Caje Cousland:

The mabari: His name is Squirrel. He is the most quintessential mabari that ever was a mabari. He's a sort of earthy brown with black points and usually goes paintless, but has the Kaddis of the Trickster warpaint when Caje knows they're going into something big. Caje loves Squirrel dearly, but one gets the sense that if Squirrel hadn't imprinted on him, Caje would not have any animals.

The horse: After Awakening, when Caje has well and truly taken up his role as Anora's husband, he has a horse. He's an Akhel-Teke palomino gelding named Valerian. He's very pretty and very impressive, which is his primary purpose. Caje's relationship with Valerian is neutral, politely. Valerian is very well trained and tolerates Caje, who doesn't really spare him a thought when he's not in the saddle. Most of Valerian's care is left to stable hands, unless Caje's on the road and has no spare hands to care for his horse for him.

Cyrus Hawke:

The mabari: His name is Decker. He's only about 9 months old at the start of the Blight, so he does live to see the Chantry Boom, but at that point he is geriatric enough that Cyrus has taken to leaving him home to be babied by Sandal more often than not. Early on, though, he goes with Cyrus everywhere except the privy. He's got coloration similar to a rottweiler and he's a big mush. You could hand him an egg and he would carry it without cracking it.

Owain Trevelyan:

The hart: Early on, before they've even had to leave Haven, Owain and his party find a small herd of horses and harts in the Hinterlands. No one is sure if they were deliberately released or if they escaped during all the fighting, but regardless, there's no way to figure out where they came from and they're clearly not wild, so the Inquisition claims them. Among them is a wild hart. Owain calls dibs and names him Moo. I'm going to be blunt: he is a megaloceros with less-stupid antlers. He is a draft horse-sized elk, with stereotypical elk coloration. With a bit of a pot belly, because Owain's never had a pet before and he loves Moo immensely, even if he bellows like a congested trumpet.

Aneirin Trevelyan:

The dracolisk: While Aneirin initially uses whatever horse is free from the stables, he does eventually acquire his own dedicated steed. She is a sharp-tail dracolisk named Ozone. She's predominantly a sort of muted olive-y green with almost leopard-like spots, but dark red-brown points on her face, legs, and tail. As far as Aneirin is concerned, she is the goodest girl who has never done anything wrong in her life, and for him, that is true. He gets to feed her an appropriate amount of treats every day and still keep all of his fingers. He can ride her without getting thrown and she'll even stop on a dime precisely when he asks. If Nye is not at Skyhold, however, stable hands draw straws to see who has to deal with her, because when Nye is not around, Ozone considers herself valid to eat fingers.

The falcon: Nye had a falcon as a teenager in Ostwick, and Owain gifts him a new one after the events of Inquisition to try to get himself back into Nye's good graces after a terrible and prolonged falling out. It doesn't work, but Nye does like the bird. She's a grey falcon named Swifty, and she likes Nye about as much as can be expected, which mostly means she comes back during a hunt and only tries to eat his ears and fingers a little bit.

[therealvinelle]

The Cullen fortune is gone overnight. The rest of the Cullens have to get jobs to support their lifestyle.

What jobs would you suggest for them to experience growth/be the best version of themselves? (minus Carlisle, for whom I'm pretty sure the answer is just doctor, unless you have other thoughts)

Alternatively, what jobs would they be objectively terrible at, but you find really funny to imagine them having just the world's worst day at work doing?

Oh this has got to be the best anon I've received all year.

Right then, the Cullens lose their money, we'll say the wealth-eating vampire Ivan (turned in 1929, this bolshevik is on a mission to create a communist utopia, and has the gift to go with: he has the power of liquidating all assets belonging to private persons and companies and giving it back to the state) set his eyes on them and it's history from there.

For the sake of simplicity, we'll say the year is 2008, they're all still living in Forks.

The Cullens could get by on Carlisle's paycheck, he makes enough to pay the bills and buy them something nice every now and then. It's stretched a bit thin, though, the Forks hospital can't afford as much as a hospital in a bigger city could and there are nine of them. He's got the bills and a shared family car (that he (wait for it) has to buy from Billy Black) covered and not much else.

They've got to get jobs.

Alice decides it's time to no longer do what she's good at for free: she's going to become a clothes designer and fashion consultant. With her skill she will take the fashion world by storm, with her family she has the glamorous models in the box already, and with her gift she'll have a failsafe ensuring no idea she has ever fails. She is already planning the Met gala outfits she'll outfit stars in.

The trouble is this: she has no brand and no clients. She's starting at rock bottom.

Never fear: she makes a battle plan for herself. She'll start small with a neat-looking website, promote herself as so exclusive that the reason you haven't heard of her is because she's that big a deal, and she'll attract clients with her amazing concept designs.

She gets Carlisle to invest in the hottest new thing: a stark white MacBook (Image below), gets Rosalie to program the website (Rosalie cries because the programming she knows is from studying astrophysics, she can give you an animation of a sphere's trajectory through a frictionless space if thrown at various speeds, she has no idea how to make a website. She ends up making Alice a blog at Wordpress. It has really nice HTML, though), now it's portfolio time.

Portfolio time goes terribly: Carlisle won't let her publish photos of the family on the interwebz, and the making clothes part of the equation turns out to easier said than done because Alice wants quality merchandise, but quality fabrics are expensive. Carlisle offers to make her fabrics out of wool and hides from the animals they hunt, offering that it would be a rustic look, and she has a horrible feeling he's being serious.

(Alice is in the red)

We cut to how Emmett is doing.

Emmett was thinking he'd get work as a lumberjack, it would be fun and manly, but then Alice bought that computer which has a webcamera and he thought, why not become a fitness instructor? That could spell money.

He asks Carlisle if the computer is a family computer and not just Alice's, Carlisle says yes, Alice fumes, and Emmett sets up a studio in the basement. He publishes one video per day, and his ridiculously muscular frame combined with being an insanely beautiful man wearing a blindfold so he'll be less recognizable (Carlisle's stipulation) while physically exerting himself makes him an instant hit among gay men and straight women everywhere.

(Emmett is in the green)

Esme was inspired by Alice quoting "if you're good at something, never do it for free!" and decided to become a cleaning lady who also cooks. This works really well for the first few weeks: she's incredibly sweet so everyone likes her, she's a white woman so the racists don't worry about giving her access to their possessions, and she's alarmingly talented at what she does. One hour of Esme in your home, and your house smells like cookies and looks cleaner than an operation room.

(Esme is in the green)

The problems arise once Esme's instinct to care for others conflict with her work.

Sooner or later someone struggles to pay her, or it becomes clear simply from the state of their house that this, having someone make their house look nice, is them splurging.

Esme was once on her own, working to make ends meet, and her apartment looked terrible not because she didn't try to keep it clean, but because between working, being pregnant, and saving up for a baby she had no money or energy left to do things like fix flaking tapestry or a rocky chair. And having a clean, pleasant space to live in- it sounds frivolous, but that matters.

She decides to lower the price for cleaning people's houses, and expands so she's now home maintenance, not just cleaning. Instantly she has more clients than she did before. So she expands her work hours, and lowers the price again.

Before long, she throws the towel in and starts working pro bono.

The money she made are spent on supplies, and she starts leeching off of Carlisle's paycheck.

(Esme is in the red)

The family never sees her around anymore, meanwhile the denizens of Forks are now much happier for having a real life Mary Poppins running around town helping everybody. There's a general sentiment that they should do something for this poor woman, who works pro bono for the town's poorest even when her family lost all their money. Between that and adopting all those kids, the Mr. and Mrs. Cullen are starting to look like saints.

Hey, isn't her daughter trying to start a business?

Alice gets her first few clients, three to be specific. One is Jessica Stanley's cousin who's getting married and thought she could save on the dress by having her cousin's former classmate design it, the other two are forty-something women who were touched by Esme Cullen's initiative and thought they'd do something for her daughter. Can't Alice design each of them a gown for weddings and other formal occasions?

Alice wants to be happy she's finally getting off the ground, except-

Those two forty-something women are not the kind of clients she wanted. They're not young, for starters, and they're... well, she isn't sure how to say this to them but if they want to wear one of her designs they're going to have to lose a few pounds first. And get a makeover. It's fine, she can give them a makeover, and Carlisle can set them up with a diet to lose weight (what's that, he can't? Why not? He's being completely- oh, jeeze, fine. Rosalie can come up with the diet then! Or tell them to just stop eating, period, that works too.), Alice will airbrush the photos to hell in her portfolio, THIS IS FINE.

It's not fine.

The ladies get offended and cancel their orders when Alice tries to explain this over the phone, which just goes to prove that Renesmee really needs to learn to leave the room already whenever aunt Alice has a phone call because if she'd been able to See what would happen then she could have found a way to phrase this that wouldn't have lost her two clients.

She's left with Jessica's cousin, who gave her a budget of $500.

For a wedding dress.

And Alice doesn't get to decide anything else, she knows from her gift that the wedding will be- not the worst she's seen, but a pitifully forgettable mediocre with a boring colorscheme and ugly bridesmaid dresses. Nope, she's just going to have to sit there and watch that happen, design a gorgeous dress for this subpar wedding.

Pearls before swine.

Alice tries to reason with Jessica's cousin, and offers to design the dresses for the bridesmaids at a discount. She won't ask them to lose weight, she will pay for the fabric herself if that's what it's gonna take. Fuck, she'll do this for free. Oh, what's that, Jessica's cousin, you already got the dresses? At H&M?!

... this would be a stain on her portfolio. It wouldn't advance her career at all. Alice has got to get out of this.

Jessica's cousin fires her before she can quit.

(Alice is in the red)

Jasper becomes a drug dealer.

(Jasper is in the green)

Edward and Rosalie, meanwhile, both decided that they wanted 9-5 jobs that would get them their paychecks without having to build anything.

Rosalie gets a job as an electrical engineer at an established company that'll pay her big dough, and she now has a bigger paycheck than Carlisle. The problem is that she's a young blonde woman working in STEM.

Rosalie proceeds to spend her workdays being sexually harassed by some colleagues and belittled by others, and has a terrible time.

Still, she stays on the job, because she really really wants to be able to buy things again.

(Rosalie is in the green)

Edward, with his gift and medical training, figures he would do great as a therapist. Steady supply of money, could become a lot of money if he makes a name for himself, and he'd be making a difference for people who really need it.

Carlisle is thrilled: finally, one of his kids isn't telling well-meaning ladies to lose weight, pandering to horny people on the internet (to be fair, no one has had the heart to tell Emmett this. Rosalie moderates his comment section zealously), dealing drugs, or being harassed by sexist pigs! Go forth into the world of psychotherapy, Edward, make that difference!

Edward gets certified (read: Jasper pays Mr. Jenks a visit) and, wanting to prove that he's modest and wants to do good by the world rather than seek money at his earliest convenience, accepts a job as a councillor for college students.

(Edward is in the green)

Edward proceeds to spend his days listening to students with petty problems such as doing poorly in class, breaking up with their lovers, and blah de blah. Edward could not care less about their problems. They're lying through their teeth, too, making the whole thing in an exercise in frustration.

He quits after a month.

Throughout all of this, Bella has been floundering. She has no marketable skills, and... though she won't admit it even now, she did not become a Cullen so that she would have to worry about going to work and making ends.

Just- god, she didn't care about the money, at all, definitely not, it's just that it wasn't supposed to suddenly be gone!

She eventually gets it together and starts applying for jobs.

She doesn't get any of them, not when she's applying for office jobs with nothing to show but a high school diploma.

She starts applying for retail jobs.

The worst application, by far, is calling Newton's and asking if she can have the job back (she can't, they have a new girl. They're very sorry).

(Bella is in the red)

Renesmee, wanting to pitch in, asks her grandpa Charlie if she could get a job. He lets her be his secretary, and she makes $30 per hour telling people to go to the waiting room.

(Renesmee is in the green)

Bella's daughter is now networking better than her and making more money than she ever did. Her daughter is less than two years old.

She asks Carlisle if he's got a job for her, and Carlisle takes pity on her. She is to be his secretary, just man the phone and tell people Dr. Cullen is busy when he is in fact eating squirrels in the woods before a surgery.

(Bella is in the green)

It's terribly unfortunate, then, that Bella in her awkwardness manages to make it sound like Dr. Cullen is masturbating in there (He's taking care of business, har de Cullen inside joke har har. Seriously though, you don't want to disturb him right now.) and has absolutely no ability to keep things secret so she will openly tell anyone and everyone who is seeing Dr. Cullen and for what (I can't believe Mike's got an STD! And he let it get so far, holy cow I hope somebody told Jessica. Oh my god, someone should tell Jessica).

Carlisle is put in the unenviable position of having to fire his daughter-in-law.

Alice gets desperate enough to try Carlisle's animal hides idea, and Carlisle finds himself working round the clock as he gets home from the hospital, and immediately has to go hunt down good pelts so he can then slave away in the one-man sweatshop she set up making woolen gowns. He makes sure Esme is out cleaning 24/7, lest she be dragged into this as well.

Alice still has no clients, but that she'll think of something.

Any day now.

(Alice is in the red)

Emmett gets sued. Turns out his channel was getting people hurt (lift with your backs, guys! When you're stretching, try to make it fast and jerky! Keep pushing if you're uncomfortable, that's when it's getting good!), so now he has legal problems.

Carlisle, Rosalie, Edward, Bella, Jasper and Renesmee each have to pitch in the money they've made to fight this lawsuit and pay the monstrous fine Emmett gets slapped with.

(Everyone is in the red)

The Cullens hold a strategy meeting.

Who's actually made money, who's going anywhere?

Rosalie's making dough, but she's not going anywhere due to sexism in the workplace keeping her from advancing.

Alice may have gotten off to a rough start but she is going somewhere, she assures them. She just needs to change her brand: streetwear and smart casual are much more marketable, and it can still be high end, she'll just make it more down to earth. How's that?

Edward reads in her mind her ideas for $600 sheepskin tank tops, and grimaces, but he's not suicidal enough to say anything.

Carlisle is already making as much as he can at that hospital, if he wants to make more he'd have to move. And then Renesmee and Jasper would be out of work.

Renesmee is actually doing rather well for herself, she's now running errands and taking small jobs around town, picking up $20 here and $50 there. Everyone agrees Edward's niece is a delightful little girl, and she's successfully gaslighting them that she's always been this tall. Or this tall. Or this tall.

Jasper has progressed as well, he is a cleaner now. No, not the same kind as Esme. He's making more money than Carlisle and Rosalie combined, though, so Forks (Well, Seattle. And the state of Washington, really, his guys know distance isn't really a problem for him) is good by him.

Emmett still has his YouTube channel, he's posting videos of himself flexing his muscles and lifting things. People are strangely willing to pay to see that, he's got commissions to eat and wear various objects and everything. Crazy world, eh!

Realizing that his brothers are now doing better than him, one by being a gangster and the other by posting softcore porn, Edward decides to get back into psychotherapy because goddamnit this won't stand.

Bella asks Renesmee if she too can run errands and be Charlie's secretary. Renesmee readily agrees, her aging was getting too obvious anyway. She becomes Bella's... manager, is the term they land on: Renesmee gets the gigs and Bella does them, both make money.

On seeing Alice struggle without initial capital of her own, Renesmee decides that Alice can run errands too. That way, Renesmee's operation can expand and she will be more effectively be able to compete with the other kids in town trying to make dough or that accursed Esme who cleans and paints houses and mows lawns for free. How do we compete with that? By being cheaper than the other kids and better than Esme!

She has to get more manpower to pull this off, so Emmett and Edward get pulled in as well.

She ends up working Alice, Bella, Edward, and Emmett so hard that Alice's fashionista dreams get put on hold (this is also because she's making such lousy money being a one-year-old's below-minimal-wage-worker that after six months she still can't afford any of the things she needs to get started), while Renesmee has the money to hire the kids who were formerly her competition. To keep them on retainer she has to actually pay them, of course, something she didn't have to do with her family because family will work for $5 a gig.

(Renesmee is in the green)

In the end, Ivan the wealth-eating bolshevik vampire is appalled by the monster he created in Renesmee. In his outrage he takes all the Cullens' assets again, and tells the Volturi on them because he won't stand for such blatant exploitation of the workers!

Aro can't even.

[euphoriyoongi]

♥︎ Seven Deadly Sins ♥︎ ot7

♥︎ One ♥︎

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Summary: The seven princes of hell, who are the embodiment of the seven deadly sins, are sent on a mission to find the human with the purest soul. The prince who successfully retrieves the pure soul will become the next king..but what happens when all 7 of the princes fall in love with the beautiful soul?

♥︎ Pairings: ot7 x OC (original character)

♥︎ Genre: fantasy; fluff, smut, angst

♥︎Word Count: 4.0k

♥︎ Warnings: smut/sexual scenes and situations, heavy language, polyamory

♥︎Rating: Mature (18+)

prev. //next.

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The world is a hellish place, that's for sure.

Everywhere you look, you see some form of evil. Whether it be someone spending too much on a purse, or someone looking at themselves in the mirror thinking that they are the best thing since sliced bread.

The thing is, most of these humans don't realize what they're doing. They show little-to-no respect or gratefulness for the things they have. Most of them believe that they need more. That one dollar isn't enough. So then if they had a million...would that not be enough either?

It's all a race. For example, two brothers racing to have a better life when in reality they're just wasting it away to receive superficial things that will just be gone when they leave this world. It's idiotic, and self-centered. If people actually thought about how well they have it, they wouldn't sin. And well, every single human being sins on this planet. It's what makes it go around.

The person sitting next to you at a restaurant just ate his girlfriend's food of her plate. The waiter is stealing another waiters tip money. The owner of the restaurant is sleeping with someone else's wife. The customer threw his drink at the waitress because his food was too cold. The group of teenagers won't get up to leave to make room for the next group. Sin. It's all around. And there's no escaping it.

Well, unless you're the Pure Soul.

Choi Nari. Her name means Lily in English. And the name lily means "purity."

She's known for her ethereal looks, and cascading long black hair that flows so softly. She's sent from heaven, but has no idea of her origins. She only believes she's a human just like everyone else. And lives a life filled with peace and love.

She never harmed a single soul in all of her lifetimes. Once every hundred years, she is reborn, and every one of those years, she's avoided the devil, whom wants her all to himself. The reason? Well, you always want what you can't have, right? The devil is all sins, himself.

This reincarnation, however, will be a bit different. There's something different about her, and the only way she'll be able to avoid the devil is if she avoids sin.

The devil has his own plans, though. Hell stop at nothing to have her. He will send all of his seven sons to earth, for they need to bring her back alive so he could deal with her. And the son that successfully brings her back, will become the next king of hell.

His sons were the embodiment of the seven deadly sins. And his goal was to make the Pure Soul suffer all seven of them, and make her sin to have her all for himself.

If this plan works, he'd successfully take away all the food in the world. So, he hopes all seven of his boys will not falter at her beauty.

__

"You what us to do what?" Yoongi huffed at his father, crossing his arms over his chest. "Hell no, I'm not fucking leaving my soft bed for that."

Yoongi is the prince of laziness, and definitely lived up to his title. He dreamed of living as a rock in his next life, but sadly, his next life was never going to occur. He was immortal. There was ways he could die, though. But for now, the best he could do was imagine he was a rock while he slept.

The devil growled. "Sloth, you dare to deny me?"

All seven of the boys were gathered in the throne room, where the devil sat on a large chair that floated on flames. The room was all black, with a bit of red detailing.

The devil was very old. He wanted to retire the throne to one of his sons, but he didn't know which one he should give it to. They were all so untrustworthy and well, the only one who he probably could trust was the one who envisions himself as a rock. That's just sad.

When Yoongi didn't answer him, The devil's voice boomed across the high-ceilings. "God damnit sloth! You're so slow sometimes."

Smiling, Yoongi winked at his father. "It's what I do best, dad."

Still fuming, the devil looked towards his oldest son, who was currently eating a bowl of noodles. "I-how did you even get those?" He smacked a hand to his head, sighing. This was ridiculous.

Jin didn't even answer. He just kept slurping his noodles until his father got mad enough to move on with what he was saying.

"Listen, my sons. I need you to retrieve the Pure Soul."

"The pure soul?" Jimin smirked. "That hot ass chick from heaven?"

The devil smiled viciously. "Yes, that's right." Rubbing his hands together, he raised an eyebrow. "And son, I give you full permission to seduce her in any way." He laughed, knowing she wouldn't be able to cave in from his charm.

"So, she's hot? Does she need money?" Taehyung smirked as well, crossing his arms. "I could give her anything in the world."

This was getting out of hand. All he needed was for his boys to bring her back here. "Okay. Anyway, you have 100 days to bring this beast back here, got it? And none of you dare to get attached to her, or you'll be dead meat." He huffed, praying they wouldn't turn against him. Heh, praying. He hasn't done that in a while.

"She couldn't be any near attractive as me, father." Namjoon smiled. "You have nothing to worry about."

The devil hoped that were true, but he knew how beautiful this woman was, and also knew that his sons have never seen anyone like her. Even Lust, who's slept with countless demons and everything in between. He's never seen a pure soul. And even the devil himself wouldn't be able to resist.

“So, what do we get if we bring her back?” Taehyung smirked, looking at his brothers. They all looked as if they didn’t care. Well, except Jimin. He just wanted something to fuck. But Taehyung knew what he wanted. And what he wanted was to take his father’s place. His greed was strong for it, and wouldn’t stop for anything or anyone.

The devil smiled. Finally. He should’ve known it was going to be greed. He couldn’t turn down anything especially if he’ll get something out of it. “Well, the throne, of course.” He shrugged his arms upward, a sneer on his lips. “That is, if you earn it.”

“Oh, believe me, father. I will.” He laughed, looking towards his younger brother, Jungkook.

Jungkook was starting to get mad. He absolutely hated it when Taehyung would get whatever he wanted. It just wasn’t fair. As his eyes began to fade from a dark brown to a vibrant red, the prince of envy patted his shoulder. “Down, boy.”

His eyes faded back to their usual color. Envy was nice, when he wasn’t jealous. He was a sweetheart, and always seemed to be able to calm him down. He goes by Hobi, but his name is Hoseok.

“Alright. Now. Are you guys ready.” The devil growled impatiently. “Do you have everything you need?”

Every one of his sons nodded, except Yoongi. He was now sleeping while standing up. Was that even possible?

“Sloth!” The devil sneered, just waking him enough to blink. “Dammit I don’t even—Do you have everything you need?”

Yawning, he opened his mouth to mumble “have everything for what?”

Silence broke out among them. “You…you know what..just fucking go.” With the flick of his hand, the boys were now transported through time to the planet earth, where they now need to search for the Pure Soul. But wait..how will they find her?

__

South Korea

Spring time, 2021

The trees were blossoming. The beautiful colors of whites and pinks danced as the petals fell to the ground. Nari was enchanted with them. Their beauty was astounding. She wished she was like them, to be so graceful, even while they fell.

Her favorite season was spring. She lived a full twenty five years of life constantly waiting for spring to come back around every year. She loved to see the flowers bloom, and all the aromas of different plants. She wished she was one. They never had to worry about anything. They just looked pretty.

She never had any friends to share her happiness with. She always wished for some, praying to god that she won't be alone anymore. Was there a reason why she was? Was it because she always agreed with everyone? Was it because she was too nice?

Well, she was too nice, but she had no control over that. It's just how she was made. She didn't know she was from heaven. She only knew that her family died when she was small, and doesn't remember them. So she was alone in this world, lost and left to find her way through life. She only wished she had someone to love unconditionally, just like the couples she'd see as she'll walk down the streets.

Nari made her way back to her small apartment. It was perfect for her though. Just enough space for her to cohabitate with her cat, Mochi. There was one bedroom, and a living space that combined with the kitchen. A tiny bathroom was across from her room, but it was big enough to have a full-sized tub in it. She did like baths more than showers, anyway.

As she walked into her bedroom, her cat was sprawled out on its back on the bed, purring as it slept. Mochi was a happy cat, and loved belly rubs and being held. She’s never had a cat that loved as much attention as mochi did, and he was the type of cat that never wanted to leave her side.

“Hello, mochi mochi.” She smiled, giving him a little pet. “How’s my cutie?” The cat let out a large yawn, then started to stretch out his paws. “Ah. Big stretch.” She chuckled, letting the cat continue to sleep and walked over to her desk in front of the window.

All over it was scattered drawings and short poems she’d write when she was bored. There was something off with her, though, and she knew it. She always wondered why she flowed with everything that went on around her. No matter what it was, she’d agree with it. That includes relationships.

Nari has never been in one. Despite how stunningly beautiful she was, no one would give her the time of day. She also didn’t know her own beauty, which might be part of the reason. But was she meant to live alone in this world? Was that her purpose?

Feeling upset with herself, she walked over to her full-body mirror. There she stood, her long white dress flowed down past her knees, and her long black hair fell down towards her backside. She curled the ends of it today, feeling happy with the way it looked. Her eyes were a hazel type color, but closer to green that black. Her lips were a soft pink, that plumped and were Un-chapped. 

She was beautiful. No one would be able resist her. And now, the reason she’s never had a significant other was because she never let herself notice that someone was trying. That could be because god hated the idea of it. Her soul purpose was to keep sin away from taking over the world. He never expected her to start thinking for herself. She’s been reincarnated since the beginning of time. So why is she starting to think for herself?

 She spent 25 years of life without any sexual activity. Without anything special in her life. She never had a family, and works as an ice cream shop cashier. There’s nothing to her life. No purpose. She wanted to change that. But as soon as that thought went through her head, it left like a flicker of light.

__

“Dude, this is absolutely ridiculous.” Yoongi huffed once again, just wanting to rest. “How are we supposed to find her.”

“Yeah.” Taehyung sighed, holding pink petals in his hands that were falling down from the branches above. “Anyway, what are these things?”

“I wonder if they taste good.” Jin giggled as he stuffed a few in his mouth. Spitting them out after a few chews, he shook his head. “Nope. Not good.”

Namjoon was sitting down on the ground with his legs crossed. There were lots of people walking by, and he noticed a man fixing his hair in the camera of his phone. Smirking, he closed his eyes and made the man see himself in a new light. Too bad that new light was for him to think too highly of himself. The man then tossed his phone onto the ground and walked away, thinking he was too good to have one.

“Damn, Joon. We just got here.” Hoseok muttered. “Let’s just stick to our task.”

Nodding, Jungkook spoke up. “Yeah, let’s find this girl so we don’t combust.”

Jin side-eyes him. “What do you mean, combust?”

“Well, you were too busy eating to even pay attention to father.” Jk rolled his eyes at his hyung. Leaning up against one of the trees, he smirked. “Father said he’ll kill us if we don’t find the girl.”

Jin bursts out in laughter. “Yeah, right. As if he—wait you’re serious?” His face turned from playful to worried. “I—oh, you are serious.”

“We need a plan.” Taehyung dropped the flower petals off his palm and dusted them off. “I say we split up.”

“It’ll be an uneven number then.” Jimin pointed out, who seemed to be in and out of the conversation. There were plenty of pretty girls walking around, and he was turning himself on. “Anyway, I just want something to fuck. I’ve never fucked a human before..”

Ignoring Jimin, Namjoon agreed with Tae. “Yeah, Tae, I think we should do that too.” He pointed to Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung. “You guys go one way, we’ll go the other.”

Yoongi was surprisingly awake, and agreed also. “Alright. That’s good with me. As long as I don’t gotta do any work.”

As the boys set on to where they needed to be, little did they know that Nari passed them out as she was walking to work.

They kept walking, and Taehyung noticed a brand new car roll up to the curb. Smirking, he left the group to go check it out.

He walked around it with his arms behind his back, looking it over. He must’ve looked off because the owner of the car came out and asked what he needed.

Wrong question.

“What do I need, you ask?” Tae smiled down at the man. “What I need..is this car.” He smirked, his eyes turning into an icy blue. He wanted it, and he’ll get it. The man proceeded to give him the keys and stood stationary, and Taehyung called over Jimin and Jungkook.

“Let’s go boys!” He yelled, and hopped into the drivers seat. He didn’t even know how to drive, but he’ll make himself.

“That was fucking sick, hyung!” Jimin high-fived hun as Jungkook sat in the back with a frown on his face.

Jimin noticed. “What’s wrong, Jk?” He asked him, turning back towards him in the leather seat.

“I wanted that fucking seat.” He hissed at him, sending daggers through his eyes. This made Jimin nervously laugh, and he turned back around.

“Anyway!” Jimin changed the subject. “Where should we look for her? What does she even look like, anyway?”

As Tae drove, he described her. “Well, she has long black hair and a bright soul. We should be able to see who she is the minute our eyes land on her.”

“Ah.” Jimin nodded. “Well, the minute my eyes land on her is the minute I’ll fuck her.”

“Jesus, Jimin. Lay off the sex for once. Some of us need it too.” Jungkook growled from the back seat.

This made Jimin laugh. “Yeah, as if anyone would be attracted to your wrath ass.”

“Don’t piss him off, Jimin. I really want a peaceful ride.” Tae huffed, stepping on the gas. “I say we look around a shopping mall. Girls like shopping here too, right?”

“I like shopping.” Jk muttered under his breath.

“I say we should go to a park or something.” Jimin chimed in.

Taehyung scrunched his nose. “The fuck is a park?”

Letting it pass, they decided to drive to the nearest mall, while the older brothers were currently walking by foot to find her.

“Do you think she’ll like me? I think she’ll love me. I mean, who wouldn’t? Look at me!” Joon laughed, talking himself up as they walked amongst the humans. “I’m getting all the stares!”

“Um, no. I think it’s actually Yoongi. He looks like he’s dead.” Hoseok chimed, holding in his laughter.

Yoongi was sleepwalking. He couldn’t keep his head up, and was nearly walking like a zombie. He was catching all the eyes around him and Namjoon thought it was all for him. Well, he was most certainly attractive. But he wasn’t the reason for the stares.

Pouting, Namjoon rolled his eyes. “I’m sure I’m the reason for some of them at least.”

“Oh my god! Look! It’s a noodle restaurant!” Jin excitedly chanted, jumping up and down. He was a grown man, and looked like he was a kid at a candy store. “Let’s go!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea—hey!” Hoseok got cut off as Jin grabbed ahold of his shirt.

All four of them sat down at a table, their legs too long for the chairs. All seven of the boys were above six feet tall. That was because Satan was nearly seven feet.

“Do you think that the other boys found the girl yet?” Namjoon said as he chomped on the noodles. The noodles that they weren’t going to be able to pay for.

“Nah.” Yoongi said, shaking his head. “But if they did, good for them I guess.”

Jin was already on his fifth bowl. “I don’t really want to be king anyway. I just came here for the food.”

“Jesus fuck.” Hobi grunted. The soup part was too hot for him. “This is fucking spicy. Why is it spicy?”

“Maybe because you got the chili powder.” Jin chuckled, grabbing Hoseok’s bowl. “Here, I’ll eat it.”

Hoseok glared at him with a frown. “I don’t know how you’re so skinny.”

“Alright guys.” Joon clapped. “We should get a move on with finding her.”

When no one responded to him, he sighed, shaking his head. “Maybe I should’ve picked a better group.”

As Joon was thinking this, Taehyung was thinking the same thing.

“Alright, where is Jimin at now?” Tae sighed, putting a hand up to his head as they stood in the middle of the mall. They looked like giants amongst all of the people there, making them stand out even more. Jungkook stood next to Tae, also wondering where Jimin went.

“All I know is that he said something about going to flirt with the cute girls.” Kook stated, shaking his head. “I don’t know which cute girls he was talking about, though.”

“Oh my god. It’s never ending with him. We can’t bring him anywhere.”

It was silent for a moment, until Jungkook spoke up again. “Do you ever get so mad that you just want to kill them?”

Taehyung looked at him, blinking. “I can’t take you anywhere, either.”

While Taehyung was having an existential crisis, Nari was three stores down from him in her cute ice cream shop.

A few cute boys walked in, and ordered some ice cream. As she gathered their order, one of them kept asking for her number. “My number? Like a phone number?” She mumbled, scrunching her eyebrows.

“Yes.” The cute boy nodded, a smile on his face when he thinks he’s getting it.

“Ah, that. Well, I don’t have a phone.” She smiled at him, and continued to scoop his ice cream. The bus’s friends all laughed at this, making the one who asked get upset.

“Listen here you little bitch.” The boy reached over to grab her by the neck, making her confused as to why he freaked out. She just said she didn’t have a phone. As he pulled her against the glass of the ice cream stand, someone’s voice boomed through the shop.

“Hey hey, that’s no way to treat a lady.” The boy said playfully, making the boy who was holding Nari falter. “Well, only when you’re in bed, I guess.”

His hair was a dark blue, almost black. His eyes nearly looked as if they were a pink of some sort, but maybe he was wearing contacts.

After that comment, the blue haired man stood face-to-face with the asshole who held Nari. Letting her go, he turned toward him. “Who the fuck are you?” He said, his two friends standing behind him with crossed arms.

The mysterious man didn’t even look over at Nari. He just glared at the boy. In came two more boys, who immediately walked over to the mysterious guy. One of them had longer hair than the other, but both of them had black hair. All three of them were unusually tall, and looks as if they had no fear. The longer haired guy spoke up. “I’ll beat your ass so hard you won’t be able to walk.”

The three other boys seemed to get a bit scared, knowing they had no chance against these guys. Nari stood there, in awe of their beauty. She never had thoughts of anyone like this. They were all so beautiful, she just wanted to know more. She wanted to know why they were standing up for her.

As the three childish boys ran out of the store, Nari caught eyes with the blue haired boy, who immediately dropped his jaw.

Jimin couldn’t believe his eyes. There she stood, the most beautiful soul of the human race. Her long locks were held back by a scrunchie, and her eyes were lined with black eyeliner. She was so beautiful, he couldn’t help but stare. He wanted her.

Taehyung felt the same way as well. How in the world could a creature like this exist in the world. Is this way his father wanted her? He began to experience dirty thoughts, some of them pertaining to keeping her all to himself. That could be because of who he was—Greed. He wanted her. He wanted her bad.

Jungkook was quietly staring, his eyes open wide. He’s never experienced this feeling before, but to be fair, he’s never seen someone so beautiful in all his years of life. He wished to have something so passionately, and that something was her. He didn’t care that his brothers were also infatuated with her, he wanted her all to himself, too.

Nari didn’t even know what she had done to the boys. She had no idea that she was made just to compel the sins themselves.

What was she supposed to do now? Was she supposed to thank them? She really had no idea. But before she had the opportunity to say anything, one of the boys said something first.

“Well, we finally meet.” Taehyung smirked. “Choi Nari. The Pure Soul.”

“The..the what?”

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prev. // next.

[babygirlkiki1016]

Wendigo

As we pulled up the next morning I spotted a man who is talking to Haley, Ben, is checking a shotgun. They're all carrying full backpacks.

"I'll tell you again, I don't think Ben should come. You're paying me good money to keep everybody safe. I think Ben's safest at home." I hear man say as I get out, Haley shakes her head as Sam and Dean get out of the car. Sam opens the back door of the Impala and pulls out the duffel bag.

"You guys got room for three more?" Dean asks.

"Wait, you want to come with us?" Haley asks.

"Who are these guys?" The old man asks.

"Apparently this is all the park service could muster up for the search and rescue." Haley gestures to the man next to her as Sam heads past everyone.

"You're rangers?" The old man asks.

"That's right." Dean answers.

"And you're hiking out in biker boots and jeans? While your hiking in that." Haley points to me, signaling at (whatever you decide to wear.)

Dean looks down at himself, then at me. "Well, sweetheart, I don't do shorts." Dean heads past Haley, I walk up to her.

"And I'm more of 'I don't care what I wear type'."

"What, y'all think this is funny? It's dangerous back country out there. Her brother might be hurt." The old man says as Sam turns back to us.

"Believe me, I know how dangerous this could get. We just wanna help her find her brother, that's all." Dean says as he head past Sam. Our little group hikes through the forest, with 'Roy' in the lead, then Dean, me, Haley, Ben, and Sam bringing up the rear.

"Roy, you said you did a little hunting." Dean says, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, more than a little." Roy huffs.

"Uh-huh. What kind of furry critters do you hunt?"

"Mostly buck, sometimes bear." Dean passes Roy, uh oh, I can see where this is going.

"Tell me, uh, Bambi or Yogi ever hunt you back?" Roy grabs Dean as Sam looks on, I quickly step between them before it escalated.

"Both of you cut it out." I say.

"Whatcha doing, Roy?" Dean asks. Roy grabs a stick and pokes the bear trap Dean had almost stepped in. Haley looks annoyed.

"You should watch where you're stepping. Ranger." Roy drops the stick and retakes the lead.

"It's a bear trap." Dean yells to us and we hike on. Haley catches up to us.

"You didn't pack any provisions. You guys are carrying a duffel bag. You're not rangers." She grabs Dean's arm. "So who the hell are you?" Ben and I goes past her, who stopped to talk to Dean while Sam looks at Dean, who indicates with his expression that Sam's to go on by. Sam obeys and he catches up to me.

"Hey." He says.

"Hey..."

"So how did you sleep?"

"Pretty good, the bed was comfy."

"Did my brother try anything?" He asked worried.

"No he didn't..it was more of me who..."

"You kissed him?!" He whispers the last part.

"No I wanted to, but I turned away before I did anything stupid."

"That's surprising,mostly Dean is the one always trying to get laid." He say, I could tell he's some what pissed.

"Sam...do you think that he could..that we could?"

"No at least not now, your still a kid. Wait a little bit longer before you try anything." He smiles and pats me on the back. Roy continues to lead the way, followed by Sam, me, Ben, Haley, and Dean.

"This is it. Blackwater Ridge." Roy says as Sam heads past.

"What coordinates are we at?" Sam asks. Roy pulls out a GPS, which reads N 35o 45.383, W 111o 00.55.

"Thirty-five and minus one-eleven." Dean comes up to Sam and the three of us listen.

"You hear that?" Dean ask.

"Yeah." Sam replies.

"Wow...Not even crickets." I say.

"I'm gonna go take a look around." Roy tells us.

"You shouldn't go off by yourself." I warn.

"That's sweet. Don't worry about me."

"Fine if you wanna be the idiot be my guest." I joke, Roy just waves his gun and pushes between us to retake the lead. Dean turns back to the others as the other two catch up.

"All right, everybody stays together. Let's go." About ten minutes later the five of us are looking around, near a large rock.

"Haley! Over here!" Roy yells and Haley runs towards his voice, followed closely by the others and we come to a halt.

"Oh my God..." Haley gasps. The tents are torn open and bloody and all the supplies are scattered.

"Looks like a grizzly." Dean and Haley look around.

"Tommy?" She takes off her backpack and goes through the campsite.

"Tommy!" Sam moves to catch up with her.

"Shh." Sam says.

"Tommy!"

"Shh-hh-hh!"

"Why?"

"Something might still be out there."

"Sam, Y/n!" Dean yells, me and Sam goes over to him, Sam crouches down.

"The bodies were dragged from the campsite. But here, the tracks just vanish. That's weird." Sam says.

"I'll tell you what, that's no skinwalker or black dog."

"So then it's a Wendigo, it's the only explanation." I point out.

"We still don't know for sure Y/n."

"Dean think about it, it's fast it doesn't leave a trail and there's claw marks everywhere. It's a Wendigo."

"Y/n it can't be."

"Fine, if I'm right you have to do whatever I ask without complaining."

"Don't do it Dean." Sam intervened, with a smirk on his face but Dean completely ignored him.

"And if I'm right then you have to do whatever I say without complaining for a day."

"Alright deal." I hold out my hand and he shakes it. "Prepare to lose Winchester."

"In your dreams." Dean chuckles and we go back to the campsite as Sam follows. Haley picks up Tom's cell phone it's bloody and she cries. She turns the phone over and the back is open, Dean crouches next to her.

"Hey, he could still be alive." She gives Dean a look.

"Someone Help! Help!" A voice yells and Roy leads the way as everyone except me runs to the aid of the shouter.

"Don't run towards it you idiots!" My words were mostly towards Dean and Sam. They still did it anyway, there figures disappearing was the last thing I saw before I was thrown back against the tree. My vision went black, but before I was unconscious I could see the Wendigo walking towards me.

Dean's Pov-

"Don't run towards it you idiots!" I heard Y/n shout but no one listened.

"Help! Somebody!" It shouts again but we find no one.

"It seemed like it was coming from around here, didn't it?" Haley wonders, we listen, nothing.

"Everybody back to camp." Sam says and back at the campsite, all the supplies are missing, including Y/n.

"Y/n?!" I yelled, no response. "Y/n?!" Now I was getting nervous, she was right behind me...wasn't she?

"Our packs!" Haley exclaims, not even caring that one of our own was gone.

"So much for my GPS and my satellite phone." Roy complains

"What the hell is going on?"

"It's smart. It wants to cut us off so we can't call for help." Sam says, that's when we both realized Y/n was right. "Y/n, where is she?"

"Oh you finally notice!" I say sarcastically and kick a rock. "Damnit!"

"You mean someone, some nutjob out there just stole all our gear and kidnapped that pretty girl?" Roy says, making me even more angry. Sam tugs on my sleeve, catching my attention.

"I need to speak with you. In private." We head a little ways away from the group. "Good. Let me see Dad's journal." Sam says, I hand it over. Sam opens it and flips through until he finds a particular page.

"All right, check that out." Sam points to a First Nations-style drawing of a figure.

"Oh come on, wendigos are in the Minnesota woods or, or northern Michigan. I've never even heard of one this far west."

"Think about it, Dean, the claws, the way it can mimic a human voice. Y/n was right and we new it but you didn't listen. You just wanted to prove her wrong!"

"You think I don't know that!" I try to hold it in, damn it why am I getting emotional? I only met her a week ago! "Well isn't that great." I takes out my pistol. "Since we're hunting a Wendigo, then this is useless." Sam gives me back the journal then heads back to camp but only stopping for a moment.

"One of us should've stayed with her...we need to get these people to safety."

"Sam we can't just leave Y/n-"

"She's probably already dead Dean!....Her father was right...people we know die sooner or later." He leaves and I follow, we get back at the campsite, and Sam addresses the group.

"All right, listen up, it's time to go. Things have gotten...more complicated."

"What?" Haley exclaims.

"Kid, don't worry. Whatever's out there, I think I can handle it." Roy says.

"It's not me I'm worried about. If you shoot this thing, you're just gonna make it mad. You have to leave. Now."

"One, you're talking nonsense. Two, you're in no position to give anybody orders."

"Relax." I huff. "Sam will get you to safety, I'll stay and try to find Y/n."

"Look we never should have let you come out here in the first place, all right? I'm trying to protect you." Sam says but Roy steps right into Sam's space.

"You protect me? I was hunting these woods when your mommy was still kissing you good night."

"Yeah? It's a damn near perfect hunter. It's smarter than you, and it's gonna hunt you down and eat you alive unless we get your stupid sorry ass out of here." Roy laughs.

"You know you're crazy, right?"

"Yeah? You ever hunt a wen-" I push Sam, desperately trying to make him calm down.

"Chill out."

"Stop. Stop it. Everybody just stop. Look. Tommy might still be alive. And I'm not leaving here without him."

"Wow well aren't you brave." I comment.

"It's getting late. This thing is a good hunter in the day, but an unbelievable hunter at night. We'll never beat it, not in the dark. We need to settle in and protect ourselves."

"How?" Hayley questions.

~

We built a campfire, and I begin to draw something in the dirt around the campsite while Haley pokes at the fire.

"One more time, that's-" Hayley asks but J interrupt.

"Anasazi symbols. It's for protection. The wendigo can't cross over them." Roy laughs, gun over his shoulder.

"Nobody likes a skeptic, Roy."

When  I was fine with the drawing I head over to sit next to Sam.

"You wanna tell me what's going on in those freaky heads of yours?...Sammy."

"Dean-"

"No, you're not fine. You're like a powder keg, man, it's not like you. I'm supposed to be the belligerent one, remember?"

"Why don't you focus on your own feelings, I'm sure your feeling pretty guilty."

"Bout what?"

"Dad's not here and if we left then Y/n would still be with us. I mean, that much we know for sure, right? He would have left us a message, a sign, right?"

"Yeah, you're probably right. Tell you the truth, I don't think Dad's ever been to Lost Creek."

"Then I'll get these people back to town and we'll go find Y/n. Then we leave I mean, why are we still even here?"

"This is why." I come around to Sam's front and held up the journal. "This book. This is Dad's single most valuable possession-everything he knows about every evil thing is in here. And he's passed it on to us. I think he wants us to pick up where he left off. You know, saving people, hunting things. The family business." Sam shakes his head.

"That makes no sense. Why doesn't he just-call us? Why doesn't he-tell us what he wants, tell us where he is?"

"I dunno. But the way I see it, Dad's giving us a job to do, and I intend to do it."

"Dean...no. I gotta find Dad. I gotta find Jessica's killer. It's the only thing I can think about."

"Okay, all right, Sam, we'll find them, I promise. Listen to me. You've gotta prepare yourself. I mean, this search could take a while, and all that anger, you can't keep it burning over the long haul. It's gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man." Sam looks down, then up.

"How do you do it? How does Dad do it?" Dean looks over at the others.

"Well for one, them." Sam looks over at Haley and Ben. "I mean, I figure our family's so screwed to hell, maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little bit more bearable....I'll tell you what else helps." Sam looks back at Dean.

"Killing as many evil sons of bitches as I possibly can, starting with the one that took Y/n." Sam smiles, but a twig snaps, someone presumably the wendigo yells "Help me! Please!" I stand and readied my gun.

"Help!" Sam shines a flashlight about.

"He's trying to draw us out. Just stay cool, stay put." I warn.

"Inside the magic circle?" Roy jokes.

"Better than ending up dead."

"Help! Help me!" Growling, Roy points his gun at the sound.

"Okay, that's no grizzly." Ben starts to freak out a little but Haley talks him through it.

"It's okay. You'll be all right, I promise." Something rushes past and she shrieks. I just smile, scardey cat.

"It's here." Sam says. Roy shoots at the rustling, then again.

"I hit it!" He yells happily and being the idiot that he is, goes to see what he hit.

"Roy, no! Roy!" I yell after him, I turn to Hayley and Ben. "Don't move." She's holding a stick, burning at one end, as a weapon. Me and Sam run after Roy, but no luck.

~

Sam is sitting against a hollow tree stump, holding dad's journal and playing with a lanyard. Me and the other two are among the tents.

"I don't...I mean, these types of things, they aren't supposed to be real."

"I wish I could tell you different." I sigh.

"How do we know it's not out there watching us?"

"We don't. But we're safe for now."

"How do you know about this stuff" Carefully, I think of what to say.

"Kind of runs in the family." Sam comes over.

"So we've got half a chance in the daylight. And I for one want to kill this evil son of a bitch."

"Well, hell, you know I'm in." I say, I had to, I needed to. That son if a bitch took her, and I was gonna get her back. Sam shows the wendigo page of dad's journal to the siblings.

"'Wendigo' is a Cree Indian word. It means 'evil that devours'."

"They're hundreds of years old. Each one was once a man. Sometimes an Indian, or other times a frontiersman or a miner or hunter." I contribute.

"How's a man turn into one of those things?" Haley wonders.

"Well, it's always the same. During some harsh winter a guy finds himself starving, cut off from supplies or help. Becomes a cannibal to survive, eating other members of his tribe or camp."

"Like the Donner Party." Ben says.

"Cultures all over the world believe that eating human flesh gives a person certain abilities. Speed, strength, immortality." Sam intervenes.

"If you eat enough of it, over years, you become this less than human thing. You're always hungry." I sigh, I knew the feeling...and Y/n probably does to.

"So if that's true, how can Tommy still be alive?" Haley asked.

"You're not gonna like it." I glance at Sam, then back to her.

"Tell me."

"More than anything, a wendigo knows how to last long winters without food. It hibernates for years at a time, but when it's awake it keeps its victims alive. It, uh, it stores them, so it can feed whenever it wants. If your brother's alive, it's keeping him somewhere dark, hidden, and safe. We gotta track it back there, and hurry cause he might it's next meal."

"And then how do we stop it?"

"Well, guns are useless, so are knives. Basically-" I grab the can of lighter fluid, the beer bottle, and the white cloth that was in the ground. "We gotta torch the sucker."

~

Once we gave them hints about what there headed into, I lead the way through the woods, Molotov cocktail in hand. We pass trees with claw marks and blood. Sam is leading the group now, with me right behind him.

"Dean." He calls out, and I catch up.

"What is it?" We look around at the trees, there are bloody claw marks and broken branches everywhere.

"You know, I was thinking, those claw prints, so clear and distinct. They were almost too easy to follow." Growling was heard and the three of us whip around. Trees rustle as Haley is standing under a tree. Blood drips on her shirt.

"Sam..." I say point towards Haley. She notices to what I'm pointing to and looks up, then leaps out of the way. Roy's corpse lands where she'd stood. I examine Roy as Sam goes over to Haley.

"You okay? You got it?" He asks.

"His neck's broken." I comment. Sam helps Haley up and more growling is heard. "Okay, run, run, run, run, go, go, go!" I yell. Everybody takes off and Ben falls, Sam hurries back to help him up, dividing the group two and three.

"Come on, I gotcha, I gotcha." Sam tells Ben, I listen for any movement. I heard a noise, then Haley screams, it was the Wendigo.

Y/n's Pov-

I woke up to shouting, it was Sam and Ben trying to talk to Haley. She was hanging by her wrists from the ceiling while Dean was trying to wake me up.

"C'mon darling, focus, focus." He unties me, making me fall forward but he catches me. "It's ok I got you, I got you. Can you walk?"

"Yeah...." I say groggily. Haley divests herself of rope as she stands up she spots Tom still hanging and starts crying.

"Y/n hey focus on me!" Dean caresses my cheek, tears were falling down his cheeks. "I thought I lost you..."

"It's gonna take a lot more than that to kill me." I smile, he returns it and hugs me. I spot the stolen supplies that are piled in the corner.

"Dean." I say and point to the bags, Dean picks up flare guns.

"Flare guns. Those'll work." Sam grins and Dean laughs while twirling the guns. We decide to make our escape and head down a tunnel, Me, Dean and Sam in the lead with the flare guns and the two siblings supporting Tom, who is limping. Growling is heard once more.

"Looks like someone's home for supper." I say.

"We'll never outrun it." Dean says and looks back at the others, then at me. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Yeah, I think so." Sam answers.

"Good, I'll distract it, the four of you get out of here."

"That is not what I was thinking!"

"Oh I'll be fine." I stare at him in disbelief.

"If you think your gonna go up against it alone your dead wrong. We'll distract it while y'all get out of here." Dean knew he didn't have the time to argue, so he agreed.

"All right, listen to me. Stay with Sam. He's gonna get you out of here."

"What are you gonna do?" Haley intervenes. Dean winks and starts walking and yelling.

"Chow time, you freaky bastard! Yeah, that's right, bring it on, baby, I'm feeling good." The rest of Dean's words are indistinct. I follow Dean before he could get himself killed.

"Hey! Hey, you want some white meat, bitch! I'm right here!"

"I think it heard you Dean."

"Well if it heard me then why isn't it here?" I shake my head and listen, at first I couldn't hear anything but then I heard growling far of into the distance, then Sam yelling.

"Dean it's by Sam."

"Son of a bitch." He yells and we run down the tunnel towards where Sam is.

Eventually we spot the Wendigo and we come up behind it.

"Hey!" I yelled. The Wendigo turns and before Dean could shoot it, it slices his neck. Blood began pouring out, Dean eyes me and falls to the ground.

"No!" I yelled and ran to his side, it slowly came towards me but Sam yelled to distract it. However Sam wasn't having any luck either, Sam's flare gun was thrown to the side and he was cornered. I look back to Dean who was bleeding out badly, he wouldn't last much longer.

"Hold on ok? Hold on.." I cried, tears ran down my cheeks faster then me running a marathon. Although it was like I knew what to do. I place my hand on Deans neck to try to stop the bleeding, he grabs my hand roughly, I could see the fear in his eyes as he gasped from breath.

"Breath just breath ok? Hold on, please!" I focused and like an instinct the words came to me. "Heli tius naman" I muttered over and over, my hands began to glow as his skin begins to form back together. His eyes showed amazement as he watched my form changed, my hair turned white as snow. I looked towards the Wendigo who was about to kill Sam, and hold out my hand as I begin enchanting.

"Sini tuis montir ot leh!" The Wendigo turns but is trapped in place growling at me.

"Sam now!" I yelled and Sam grabs the flare gun then lights the evil son of a bitch. As the Wendigo burned I turn my focus back to Dean, who was staring at me. Sam runs over, with fear in his eyes.

"....Not bad, huh?" Dean jokes as he stands up and he pulls me up along with him. Sam sighs I'm relief, then hugs me.

"Thank you...I don't know what you did but I don't know what I would've done if he..." Sam let's go and Dean slowly approaches me.

"Your nose.." He reaches over and rubs the blood from my skin with his sleeve. After we exit the woods, an ambulance loads up Tom. Two Police officers interviews Ben as Sam stands behind him.

"And the bear came back again after you yelled at it?" Asked the officer.

"That's when it circled the campsite. I mean, this grizzly must have weighed eight hundred, nine hundred pounds." Ben agreed and Sam nods in approval.

"All right, we'll go after it first thing." I watched as Haley talked to Dean, both have already been patched up. A weird feeling set in my heart, what is this? Am I...jealous? Haley attempts to kiss Dean on the cheek, but he slowly stepped back. They exchange a few words, then he turns to look at me. Sam sits on the Impala's hood with me as Dean walks over.

"Man, I hate camping." Dean complains.

"Me too." Sam agrees.

"It's not so bad." I say.

"So I guess...you win the bet." Dean admits. "I'm sorry for not being there when it came after you."

"It's ok....it's not your fault your a dum dum sometimes." I giggle, noises of the ambulance caught our gaze. "Think they'll be ok?"

"Yeah they'll make it." Dean smirks, I grab his chin and kiss the corner of his mouth, however he didn't stop me, he slightly kissed back but then realized it wasn't an actual kiss.

"What was that for?" He said blushing.

"For coming to save me...and for wiping my nose and ruining your jacket." He smiles and looks over at his little brother who's smirking at us.

"Sam, you know we're gonna find Dad, right?"

"Yeah, I know. But in the meantime? I'm driving." Dean smirks and tosses Sam the keys. The three of us get in the impala, slamming the doors almost in sync. What I can't get out of my head however, is why did Dean refuse Haley but not me?.....

The New Hunter Masterlist

@samsgirl93 @nani-gram @eliwinchester99

[frickfracksnatchisback]

Are you accepting headcanon requests? Well, I'm sick and i need my favourite characters to suffer with me so give me some sick headcanons! (aka how they're most likely to get sick, how they handle getting sick, etc.)

I am so sorry! I should have gotten to this sooner, but I’m still happy to oblige!

Hat Kid: She’d probably get sick doing regular kid stuff, like forgetting to wash her hands or going outside and playing in the rain. She’s most likely going to catch just a common cold. But that doesn’t mean she’s not going to be a miserable blanket burrito the entire time, while CC nurses her back to health.

Bow Kid: If she is to get sick, that is a very rare occurrence. She’s a bit of a germaphobe, and carries around stuff like hand-sanitizer everywhere she goes! So if she ever catches sometimes, it usually isn’t pretty. CC help her get through it, and makes tea to soothe Bow’s throat if she’s feeling sore! It helps her bunches, since she likes tea.

Mustache Girl: Can get sick very often, until CC forces her to become more hygienic. Living in a cave for such a long time doesn’t exactly boost a person’s immune system. So she’s about the same as Hat Kid, except she doesn’t want to stay in bed to “rest”. She needs to fight crime! (Don’t worry, CC gets here to stay in bed eventually)

Mafia Boss: If he ever gets sick, it’s probably from eating so much seafood. So yeah, the man isn’t smart and he gets food poisoning or just a stomach bug. He’ll disappear for awhile, trying to still rule his Mafia Town but not showing his face anywhere. If he were to be sick, and his Mafia men found out? Preposterous! He needs to be a strong leader! But that also means the sickness takes forever to go away, since he’s stubborn and eating fish doesn’t help-

Cooking Cat: Rare that she ever gets sick, since she’s quite healthy and stays at home more often. So if she is to catch something, it’s probably the same bug that one of the girls had when she was taking care of them. And the trio try their very best to help her! Bringing her ice packs, making soup for her, and tucking her into bed while being on their absolute best behavior.

Conductor: Sick? Ha! There’s no such thing in Conductor’s case! Well...there is, but he’s better at walking it off than other people. The only problem is whenever he’s throwing up, then it’s obvious that he’s not doing so well. But since he doesn’t want that to get in the way of movie-making, he forces himself to go to work. Grooves is usually the one to bring him back home to rest, even though Conductor is very adamant about not wanting to lose another award.

DJ Grooves: If he’s sick, he’ll most certainly stay home and take care of himself. Even if it means losing a bit of filming time. The last thing he would ever want is to get his own actors or any of the staff sick, even his rival! And even when the sickness goes away, he’s still paranoid about getting sick again. So he prepares, getting any kind of supplies and medicine if he starts feeling any symptoms.

Snatcher: How does a ghost get sick? Nobody knows. But for some reason, Snatcher can get sick. (Apparently at the same time as Moonjumper.) The sickness can be normal, like headaches, coughing, sneezing, that sort of thing. Or on a bad note they can be almost otherworldly. Perhaps it’s another negative reaction to eating souls? Well, one thing’s for sure, you don’t want to be around when he sneezes. Unless you want to get struck with magic lighting, that is.

Moonjumper: If he does ever get sick, it only happens once in a blue moon. (Haha, get it???) But even then he’s absolutely miserable during the whole thing, wrapping himself up in blankets and refusing to go anywhere else. Hat Kid will try to take care of him along with Snatcher, but Moon insists that he doesn’t want to get his starlight sick. (Even though mortals are unaffected by ghost sicknesses) But eventually HK helps them both recover. And for some reason, Moon asks for glasses of water even though he is a ghost. He says it helps.

(By the way, I hope you get better soon!)

[clexa--warrior]

Fear The Walking Dead' continues its losing streak in Sunday night's episode 'Ner Tamid.'

Credit: AMC

Sunday night's episode of Fear The Walking Dead was a little bit better than the rest of this half of the season, and I think I know why: There was no Morgan!s

Morgan and Al are off doing their own thing, and miraculously we didn't hear from either one this week. That's good! Sadly, we also didn't get any Alicia. She remains one of the only characters I still like on this show, though the past few episodes have done their level best to character-assassinate her (she's probably off painting more trees at this point).

The rest of the episode was pretty much about as pointless as the rest of the episodes in Season 5. Charlie "runs away" from the convoy to go find some place for them to stay, so that they're not always on the move. Finding a place to stay is a really good idea. Running off on your own in the zombie apocalypse is stupid beyond all reckoning, and I wish the writers and producers would stop making the characters act like such absolute dunces every week.

It appears the real problem is June, who is apparently in charge of the caravan and its 36 members. She's driving them all hard, not letting them stay in one place long, no rest for the weary and all that jazz. Even John Dorie is like "Hey June, baby, I love you but this is ridiculous," but it falls on deaf ears. I'm not sure why June is acting like this, or why she's suddenly in charge, or why they have a caravan instead of a base to begin with, but that doesn't matter. Fear The Walking Dead just does stuff, and we're just supposed to eat it up without questioning anything.

I think that's the only way people can still enjoy this show--just don't ask any questions, don't think about anything too much, don't expect anything remotely like logic or realism or human nature to figure into it at all.

In any case, Charlie makes yet another new friend while out on her own. This time it's a Jewish Rabbi, Jacob Kessner, who lives all by himself at his old synagogue. All his former flock are now zombies, calling to mind Father Gabriel from The Walking Dead (though Kessner is much less annoying than Gabriel, who I still can't stand). Charlie thinks this would be a good place for the survivors to settle down, but things don't work out. Before the end of the episode, the safe haven is overrun and Kessner is out of a home. Shocking. We've never seen the survivors show up and ruin a good thing before! (That's sarcasm, by the way. Everywhere our heroes go falls apart, from the family on the island to the Mexican villa, to the ranch, to the kids' treehouse this season).

June and Dorie show up and there's some zombie action, but we know nobody is going to actually get killed by a zombie. That hardly ever happens on this show. The last time I can think of it actually happening was when Madison died, but she died offscreen so we didn't even see it. There used to be some great zombie kills in previous seasons, but there's no reason to fear anything in Fear The Walking Dead these days.

That applies to Logan and his group of feckless, toothless bad guys. At one point they chase Sarah and Dwight--who looks ridiculous clean-shaven, though I suppose it's symbolic of his being totally neutered by the do-gooder sickness that's befallen the entire cast--and almost catch them but the tank shows up and saves the day. Of course, why they were so worried and running to begin with is beyond me. Recall last week when Morgan and Al were faced with a dozen of Logan's thugs and nothing happened. They just blocked the road and that's all. Are we supposed to think that this week things are so different that they pose an actual threat now?

Of course, it turns out that the whole thing was just a diversion. Logan wanted to distract the convoy. Apparently he's figured out where the oil fields are and he wanted Morgan's group as far away as possible which, uh, kind of sounds like what he did in the very beginning of this season by having them fly off to the nuclear power plant region. They're running out of ideas so fast it isn't even funny.

Is there even a story here? I mean, there are things that happen I guess, but is there a story? Let's try to parse it all together, shall we?

Season 5 starts with Morgan and most of the crew crash-landing a plane because they thought they were helping someone but it was just Logan tricking them so that he could take over the mill. The first half of the season is spent trying to get a new plane or fix the old plane so they can fly it back. There's also a nuclear power plant that's going to melt down, and we meet a new character, Grace, who is trying to prevent that. Eight episodes are spent on this dual-plot, with Strand and Charlie ultimately saving the day by bringing propellers in a hot air balloon to the heroes who then use their years of airplane mechanic experience to fix the plane and then fly successfully back to their own area of Texas because apparently that region has zero roads leading. It is a mystical island within the state of Texas that can only be reached by air (unless you're Dwight or his wife who apparently both managed just fine on solid ground).

So that's the first half of Season 5. Crash plane, fix plane, fly out. Logan has the mill. Then, bizarrely, at the very end of the first half of the season Logan tries to make a deal with them. This deal is not struck, we discover in the Season 5 midseason premiere, and Logan goes back to working with the thugs. I can't tell if they're working for him or he's working for them, because the show has done such a lousy, inconsistent job at explaining things to us.

Speaking of which, we learn that during the break, during the period of time that occurs off-screen between the two halves of this season, that Morgan has discovered where Polar Bear's oil fields are. And I guess he's also figured out how to refine oil into gasoline. And I guess this is what Logan was after the whole time, but they just neglected to introduce that conflict in any remotely comprehensible way. Now, five episodes into the back half of the season, the entire plot seems to be "Morgan and group go around helping people more while Logan tries to figure out where the oil fields are." Five episodes of filler with virtually nothing of any importance happening. Alicia meets the guy painting on all those trees. Morgan and Grace try and fail to spark a romance. Logan is mad at Morgan but does nothing about it. They film a stupid PSA and put it on VCRs with generators wherever they can so that people know that they're out there trying to help people.

None of this qualifies as a story, at least not really. The story, if it had to be boiled down, would be the conflict between Logan and Morgan's two groups. But that conflict barely exists, as evidenced by the times they've actually encountered one another and done nothing. At least Negan did stuff. At least the Saviors posed a threat, no matter how badly produced Seasons 7 and 8 of The Walking Dead were. At least there was a story.

Here we just have people driving around wasting gas, talking on walkie-talkies, rarely having realistic conversations or actually interesting struggles or conflicts. It's all contrived. You could probably boil down the entire 12 episodes we've seen so far into two and not lose anything.

Just take away the whole entire plane crash plot and have them tricked into leaving the mill. Then have Logan realize what he wanted in the mill wasn't there and go to war with Morgan to get the map to the oil fields. The oil fields themselves would be useless to Morgan since he doesn't know how to refine oil into gasoline, but he knows that Logan is bad news so he keeps that information from him anyways. Have Logan kill some of the good guys, and have that test Morgan's resolve to be a good person. Have Dwight show up as one of Logan's dudes, on the other side of the conflict, and have that make him question whether he's made the right choice.

I mean, I think you could probably get eight episodes out of this conflict, and then you could twist things around for the second half of the season. Morgan could snap again, go full killstreak mode. He and Alicia could break into two different groups and the conflict could continue between them somehow. This is all just spit-balling. The fact is, it would be fairly simple to come up with a better story for Season 5, with better and more natural conflicts. Actually, I'd have introduced Logan as a sympathetic character and had him join the group, had his treachery not manifest until it was too late. Make the betrayal sting.

But this is all fantasy. I want the same kind of tense conflict that drove Season 3, with sympathetic characters on both sides and no easy resolution. But what we're getting is a bunch of badly written filler episodes with no real purpose and an overarching conflict that makes no sense. Meanwhile, we get things like Al leaving all her tapes in a safe and then not bothering to even shut the lock boxes, and that's how Logan discovers the oil fields. We get John Dorie shooting a bullet at a hatchet blade so that it can split in two and kill a pair of approaching zombies. That's the kind of vapid writing this show has now. It's just sad.

Next week, Logan will use the oil fields to wipe out half of all living things in the universe and the week after that Al and June and Daniel will send Skidmark back in time in a time machine they built out of spare plane parts, and Skidmark's job will be to kill Polar Bear before he ever planted the oil seeds that eventually grew into the oil fields, but little do they know that Polar Bear is waiting for them . . . . it's a trap!

I just . . . I can't. I don't know what else to say. What a sad joke Fear has become.

[howtosurvivebeingsingle]

Does Confidence = Consequence?

Just last Tuesday, I was asking myself the same question when some geezer opened the door for me on my way into the dollar store. His comment was "Nice horns", sad enough it didn't end there. I had almost finished my shopping when he stepped in the same aisle as me making every petty, fake excuse to inch his way closer to me. He even used lines like "Whoops, passed the socks." and "Do I know you from some dating site?" Even in line, he kept trying to harass me, and then our idea popped into my mind. I looked him dead in the eye and said with a smile; "You do know I'm gay right?" I may receive a lot of hate for this escape routine, but it did manage to fend him off for a spell, that is until the lady in front of me said "Good job, I'll use that one!" He spun his head around and kept trying to make a move on me. Thankfully lady and her boyfriend in line behind me were generous enough to help. He stood blocking the aisle to ensure the man didn't lay a finger on me. I thanked them after we exited the store and hurried to my car. I know it's a bit of a topic to bring on an argument, but when your brain is in panic mode the craziest things slide into your brain and out of your mouth. I am enrolled in Aikido for self-defense purposes, but only one month of the class doesn't qualify me for defending myself just yet. Sensei says I'm too tense, but with time that'll fade. Honestly, I could've defended myself had it come down to it, but I indeed froze, and explaining that to him was a bit of a pill. He did however encourage me to work harder and remember how scared. He says that way I'll perform better in class and in real life. I guess I didn't help the situation any with my dress being short. I, like many, am not completely confident in my whole figure. I feel that my torso could use some work but the rest of me is great particularly my legs. This dress did show a lot of legs and made me feel confident until that point in the day where grandpa showed up. It covered my torso, and butt pretty well, but my legs looked especially good in it with a pair of low heels. I'm positively certain that hetero women like myself struggle with this issue, but I wonder if my people from all genders feel this way. Did you also use a really bad escape in a fight or flight incident?

Alexis: "I used a period excuse to get out of a bad date. Does that count?"

Michael: "A guy kept following me as I went shopping and I told him my boyfriend was waiting outside for me and pointed at a random guy. I'm asexual."

Jessie: "Sometimes, faking you have to go to the bathroom works. Just make sure it's one with people in it."

Kesley: "At bars, I get harassed a lot, I always order an 'angel shot'. That's a secret code that tips off the bartender and lets them know someone is bothering you."

Travis: "I've been harassed by girls before and it wasn't fun. She's a coworker of mine that doesn't take 'no' lightly. I told her I already had a date."

How sad is it that the things that make us feel confident can instantly turn into a bitter situation with the wrong people? All I showed were my legs, and that situation made me want to burn that dress to ash. Does being confident really come at a cost? Tuesday did show me that in some cases, it definitely does. The woman in front of me, who blew my cover, was a senior citizen. Her praising comment didn't aid me in any way but brought to my attention that people of her generation still get the same kind of treatment, which I'm sure is no different for younger generations either. On various social media platforms besides this one, I've noticed a challenge where someone says; "What would you do if all the men went away?" I've noticed lots of people classifying as female said similar things like going for a walk alone, wearing whatever they wanted, eating as much as they wanted without judgment, etc. They make many men sound like animals, and I'm starting to think they're not half wrong. This whole week I've noticed wandering eyes from various places outside the dollar store. The grocery store, restaurants, church, the pharmacy, the mall, even just strolling through the park. It feels like people are undressing me with their eyes. Nowhere is safe! Men are the carnivorous beasts and we are the main course. Just when I was starting to feel unsafe everywhere, I remembered the sole man aside from my father that didn't look at me that way, my best friend.

Now I know what you're thinking, having a male best friend means he's gay, or he secretly likes me. The answer is no. Most teen dramas or movies want you to think that a man and woman who are best friends are the two answers above or friends with benefits. We do go back since junior year of high school, where everyone called him gay and I was the sad emo chic. He asked me out to see the homecoming game since he was late to too many band practices, at the time no one wanted to date me and my older brother put him up to it. He did kind of like me at the time, I didn't know him aside from drama, so I gave him a chance. We had fun but decided we didn't see each other that way and have been friends since. All the other people we knew from school sort of left the two of us and since then we've grown protective of one another and have been in separate relationships when we can find them. In public, I call him my brother in front of pretty girls, so no one thinks we're a couple. In all my years I'd never imagined my best friend being a straight man. We take good care of the other and encourage them to get out and do things. Most of the time, he drags me on terrifying rollercoasters and I try to get him to eat new foods. What is it with men and eating nothing but meat and soda? We're out of town working a convention this weekend. Perhaps I should've slipped broccoli in his lunch so he'd never know.

That doesn't bother me nearly as much as seeing how lonely he is. He's never done anything to me and we have the movie marathons to prove it. But his last relationship went up in smoke when his girlfriend broke it off saying she didn't love him as much as she thought. She wanted to take a break from dating or something but started dating this other guy right away. After a few months, they were engaged and the wedding has been on hold since the fiasco of 2020. They're still friends and they hang out in a group nearly once a month, but every time he goes home he looks distraught. Why is it that the sweetest of people are given the least amount of love when the earlier mentioned jerks are getting all the action? In our case, we both decided we didn't see each other that way, but unless men are a bit of an asshole women don't want them. I don't know about you, but I'd like a man to open a door for me out of courtesy without comments like "Nice horns". Looking at my friend day-to-day reminded me that not all men are bad, but perhaps the hetero women aren't the best either. Maybe they're just as big of jerks as men are at times. It makes me wonder if men get uncomfortable with any comments from women? If confidence equals consequence on both sides, then everyone loses. If that was the case, perhaps we're all a little sheepish making us no different from anybody else, and that's pretty crazy. Much Love Your Way Darlings!