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#she is very scary to other people
taz-writes · 1 year
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object memories
A fic I wrote as part of my D&D druid’s backstory that I’m in the mood to share. Do you ever write something for the sole purpose of splashing around in your own prose like a dog in a kiddie pool?
TLDR: POV character Hush and her father were held prisoner by a cult for 10 years in solitary confinement, before being ritually sacrificed. Unbeknownst to the cult, Hush wasn’t quite dead and woke up later in the mass grave mortally wounded but alive. As a druid, Hush can shapeshift into animals if she’s seen and studied them before. This fic is about how she 'discovered’ her first four wildshapes in the aftermath of her ordeal, while learning to survive alone in the wilderness and fend off the hunger that threatened to consume her.
~4,600 words; CWs: gore, animal death, take ‘em seriously I’m not kidding around. I feel like there’s also something going on here with the hunger stuff, but I truly don’t know what the fuck to even call that CW. If somebody knows, let me know lol.
The rat was the first. 
She doesn’t know exactly when she reached the tipping point, but she grew intimately acquainted with the ways of the rats over the years. She spent an eternity in that dungeon, curled in the corner among her clinking chains, feeling them scurry over her in her sleep. Grew acquainted with how they move, how they think, grew used to fighting them away from what little she had to eat, bartering with them for the space, for help to stay clean, teaching them to bring her things. She watched them for generations, while they nested in the dirty little pallet that she slept on,  until they were closer friends than she’d ever had among humans. 
She knew them, inside and out, long before she knew how to change into anything. When she awoke in the aftermath and the wildshapes came, the rat was like a second skin. She slipped into the shape like a shield, slick with blood, and slithered out with the last of her breath. 
The world outside was big. 
She couldn’t heal. The first word she spoke when she took her given shape again was a rattling, empty gasp that sent sticky gore oozing through the feeble scabs over the gash in her neck. It didn’t matter how desperately she grasped for the language, how well she knew the incantation, how crisp and adamant the gestures were that should have saved her. There was no magic without sound. And her angelic heritage did little to help when whatever the source of her limited innate healing, it simply didn’t respond. 
She spent the first week or so in the glade on the edge of the forest where she collapsed after running out of time as the rat. The summer heat broiled her skin, even through the shield of the canopy, leaving her parched and aching and crisp like a dead leaf. In the haze of exhaustion, she began to treat her wounds. 
The sacrificial shift they’d dressed her in shredded easily. She wound long strips of it carefully around her waist and chest, stomach churning at the horrid sight of the injuries, and tied the rest as tightly as she could across her ragged neck before the pressure made her choke. Every motion left her dizzy and sick. She might have laid there on and off for hours or days or a month, languishing in the softest patch of moss she managed to find and dragging herself back and forth from the clear little stream that burbled a few yards away. As many moments as she could, she hid behind the rat again. The rat wasn’t bleeding. The rat was safe. The rat could forage, devouring whatever it could find, just enough to sustain her. 
She learned the rabbits next. 
Timid creatures, cautious and quick, they watched her with their wide beaded-bright eyes and darted to safety at the sound of her rattling breaths. While she waited to recover her strength between wildshapes, she watched them back, tracking the little families back and forth among the wild grasses. They were solitary, but not alone—never truly alone. 
There was a nest not far from her resting place. She stumbled across the babies on her way to the stream. Their tiny forms huddled together in a depression in the grass and she looked one in the eyes and its little ears trembled, it tucked itself deeper in the shadows, bracing, and a sudden knife twisted in the center left of her stomach. 
It took too long to realize it wasn’t the wound this time. 
Her sunburnt skin ached desperately, throbbing to the rhythm of a heart that wasn’t hers. She fumbled past to the edge of the water and dipped her face below the surface, where the chill could bring her to her senses, but the soft curves of the current brushed their way along her cheeks like the perfect ghosts of her father’s hands. 
Her lungs burned before she came back up for air. 
The next time she changed, the new shape was a rescue. She was a stranger but she smelled like the glade, and the other rabbits allowed her there. In the shadowed night they huddled together, warmed by each other’s skin, and her tiny rabbit’s heart began to calm as it hadn’t before in a very long time. 
She couldn’t remain forever. She was keenly aware, the longer she lingered, that she was far too close to the cult. Any member could stumble across her here, out on a forage or traveling to the compound, and she wouldn’t get another chance at freedom. She couldn’t risk it. When her stomach sealed enough that the insides of her abdomen didn’t spill to the outside after any major movement, she staggered to her feet like a newborn fawn and began the journey. 
She stuck to the woods. Waterdeep was a death trap, anyone could be cult-aligned, anyone could see her and they thought she was dead but she couldn’t know who might know her face. The roads were too much of a risk, populated as they were. Stealth was her only option. The angels guided her when she slept, teaching her how to find north and south in the stars, how to know clean water from stagnant, how to name the leaves and berries around her and tell which ones were safe. She treated her aches with willow bark and bandaged herself with buffers of soft clean leaves. She passed the days in the shelter of her animal forms or huddled in the shade, thinking of anything but the black spots that swarmed intermittent in her vision and the weakness in her limbs. She stayed alive. It was a near thing. 
When the berry season faded, and the leaves began to turn, the hunger snarled in her like a wild beast. 
She stumbled to the nearest town under cover of night, shielding her body with her arms, following the smell of something delicious she couldn’t name that made her gut twist with starving, nauseous desperation. It was too open, the streets too broad, but every building’s door loomed and narrowed and filled her mouth with the suffocating taste of molding earth until her heart pattered the way it did in the rabbit’s body and the outlines of the structures blurred and blackened before her eyes. A too-cold breeze swirled through the streets and she shuddered from head to toe. 
There was a man ahead in dark robes that swirled and her heart moved like rabbit’s feet fleeing in her ribcage. She forced herself to the alley, forced herself back, and bolted into the safety of the sacred darkness. 
It was like that at the next few towns, too. There were kind people, here and there. One gave her a soft dark shirt and soft dark pants when she met him in the night, thrust them at her and skittered off when she tried through rattling gasps to ask if he wanted payment; a few innkeepers let her stay the night and gave her meals in the morning that softened the hunger’s brutal edge. But it couldn’t last, because the figures in the alleyways always came back, and names that she remembered from another life haunted her until she fled back to the safety of the trees. 
The days grew colder. 
The woods were safer further south, deep and dark, filled with birdsong and the golden colors of the waning year, the colors bright as life. She’d taken a sharp rock and cut a stick to hold her weight, easing the pressure on the days when walking was too much. Her breathing was growing easier, and her neck didn’t bleed anymore. But the words that would call magic to her side still couldn’t find their way from her mind out through her lips. 
She was losing strength. The angels taught her traps and snares, but her feeble hands couldn’t tie the knots tight enough, and the few beasts she trapped slipped free when she tried to claim them. The herd of deer that once bolted at the sight of her now didn’t even flinch, the great many-pointed stag that led their numbers watching her passively while his mate and children drank at the riverside and foraged from the dying grasses. There was little to forage and less to live by, and some days the wavering mists of exhaustion hardly left her vision. 
Sometimes, on the nights the angels didn’t come, she dreamed of the stag instead. Of his glinting eyes in the brush, watching her, unafraid. She murmured prayers in the morning to whatever forces listened. 
She met the wolves in the pits of a moonless night, by way of gleaming golden eyes and an uncanny silence sweeping over her resting place, and she knew they’d come for her. She resolved herself to at least go down on her feet. 
When the first wolf lunged, she lashed out with her staff, squeezing her eyes shut against the wave of fatigue that swept through her body from head to toe and sent the blood rushing out of her head, and felt herself make contact. The beast yelped, and she blinked spots from her vision just in time to fend off a second, sending it sprawling across the scrubby ground. Her hands shook.
“Please,” she tried to rasp, though nothing but a helpless wheeze came out. The wolves paced. She shifted back, making space, feeling acid adrenaline spread slow like venom down her arms and into her fingertips, biting back the way every motion tore at the scabby flesh of her still-healing abdomen. 
The wolves kept pacing. In the dark, they moved like dancers, every footstep intentionally measured. Silent, despite their size, dwarfing her with heavy bodies—direwolves, not just wolves, but their largest and most vicious cousins. 
Her stomach growled with a ferocity that nearly sent her to her knees. 
The third wolf lunged. She grasped for the little magic she knew, one of the rare spells that remained without her voice, and scared it back with a shard of ice that burst into bitter steam across the pack. Its yelp was piercing and sharp and left her dizzy. Through the haze as she recovered, she watched the wolf pack flee. 
She dreamed of the stag that night. She dreamed of blood and the careful steps of hunting beasts, tender in the foliage. She dreamed that she staggered to uncertain feet and the stag was there, his muzzle nudging against her arm, strong and stable, as she found her way upright. She wrapped her arms around him. He was warm and smelled of musk and the gentle decay of the forest floor in fall. He didn’t flee. His fur was soft like the velveteen skin of something whose name she’d forgotten, a precious something she’d loved in another life, beyond her memory, behind the veil of the endless dark. She awoke grasping for it, the name on her lips but not close enough to catch it, even if she’d had the voice to speak. 
She dreamed fitfully, in bursts, interrupted by the empty claws of a hollow stomach scratching at the inside of her vessel like nails on slate.
The next day, something whimpered in the bushes when she went to change her bandages at the stream. She braced herself against her staff, and nudged aside the leafy branches, and found the wolf. It was panting,  golden eyes glazed grey with pain, curled up defensively with hackles raised. It growled at her approach, but the sound was weak, and tapered to a whimper. 
Near its feet, the ground was muddied with black-red blood. She traced the line from its paws to the place in its side where the fur was shaved down to muscle and a thin line of bone. The ghost of a spell and an icy projectile flashed across her memory.
Her hands were shaking again. 
She went to the water. This stream ran clear and cold, down from somewhere in the mountains, carrying the mineral taste of glaciers high above. Flakes of mud and blood trailed free from her hands when she dipped them in the current, and she watched them swirl away through the eddies and whorls. 
It was all mechanical, in the end. She pried a piece of moss from the bank, hefted it, ran it through the water and watched the dirt run off the roots towards the valley. Washed it clean, squeezed it under the surface and watched it fill with water. Stood and turned back to the forest. 
The beast didn’t calm, but it didn’t bite when she pressed the pad of moss as gently as she could against the gash. It snapped, and she looked it in the eye, waiting. Its jaws were wide, teeth yellowed and worn from use. It could tear her to ribbons even now, if it had the nerve. She wouldn’t last long. 
She washed the wound, and padded it with clean dry lichen, and flinched when she touched the beast’s side and a warmth filled her fingers that hadn’t answered her since she first returned to consciousness in the grave. She caught it like a soap bubble, soft as a memory. It settled in her chest and the breath that filled her lungs was deeper than she’d had in years. 
She’d forgotten how it felt, when the warding darkness at her center answered. When the healing power in her blood responded to her call. 
She forgot it again when the hunger returned in a wave of dizzying force, chasing all other thoughts from her mind. The wolf, rising from its rest in the hollow, tilted its head with a calculating glint and watched her. Gold eyes met gold. 
It turned to follow the water, limping ever so slightly, and padded off. 
She followed. 
The pack was waiting in a stony cavern where the stream met a sparkling river. She felt their wary gazes long before she saw them, hidden as they were among the warm grey stone. But they recognized their lost member and pounced on him, tumbling together in a massive joyful bundle over the sandy patch of riverside, and before long it was like they hadn’t even seen her. She found a bright place on a rock by the shore, and waited for the sun to warm her bones more than the hunger chilled them. 
Across the river, the bushes rustled. She knew what she’d see there. 
The stag disappeared into the brush, and her vision blackened. 
She awoke to the hot wet stickiness of a tongue on her face, and flinched, recoiling from the threat. In front of her sat the injured direwolf. 
“Hi,” she whispered, bracing herself. “Hi there.” The words stuck in her wound and scraped. 
The wolf cocked its head, stood, and licked her face again. It… did not try to bite her head off. This was not a situation she had anticipated. She particularly did not expect to be licked a third time. The wolf’s breath almost made her faint again. 
Behind the wounded animal, the packmates slunk forward, watching her. Waiting. 
The hunger in their eyes was a mirror of her own, and the shapechange came in its aching wake. 
She followed them, that night, in a wolfish skin that matched their own. It wasn’t long before she had to pause, the time limits of her wildshapes forcing her back to rest while the pack moved on, but the howl carried on. They didn’t like to leave their own behind. She learned their faces—the mother the first to lunge, the father the second, the grown pups that followed them with their own faces and minds and hearts. They walked the trails of the forest, and she learned their gait, their stalking dance, their silent patience. 
She slept between great warm bodies, and dreamed of blood and meat and the beasts that once wore the bite-marked bones on the floor of the den. 
In the days, she jostled with the pups as one of them while she could. When she couldn’t, she rested on the rock by the river, while the echoes gnawing in her stomach dueled the white-hot claws of her bone-deep scars. She scrounged late-season eggs from a duck’s nest and swallowed them raw, on her hands and knees in the riverbank mud, eggshells scraping her gums and spilled yolk staining the ground, and coughed up half what she found when her scarred neck screamed with pain from bending low. It staved off the ache for an hour. She scraped up the spilled remains in her hands and wept. 
On the fifth night, she followed the pack to a valley full of marsh-weed, where they found a limping boar. The pack struck in a whirl of fur and fangs, iron-stink staining the water. They fought her back from the bounty until the leaders took their share, but the scraps she claimed sated something, hot and vicious in the pit of her gut. 
It was enough for a day. 
She dreamed of it after, the blood that dripped from her fangs, the viscera on her tongue, the hot iron taste of it, the texture of muscle rending against her jaw. The heat on her lips and gums, bone crushing and crunching and cracking in her grasp, the relief like a soft warm pelt at the end of a long day’s journey as the soft squishing prey slid down her gullet like a prayer… 
She dreamed of it night after night after night, waking with saliva in her mouth, thinking of it between the angels’ words, the ghost of that sensation dancing through her mouth in all her forms. She sat by the river and echoed it, conjuring up the giving resistance of flesh under her teeth, biting her tongue till it bled to remember the taste. She dreamed of nothing but. She dreamed even in her waking hours, as the first autumn frost laced over the land and the pack sat full and happy from the hunt. 
She dreamed of it until the dream consumed her, empty of everything but teeth. 
She left the den on an ice-bitter evening under ponderous slate skies when the dull weight of the thought hung heavy like an overripe fruit, when she wondered what the wolves would feel like beneath her fangs, if their heavy furs would rip and tear the way that scrap of boar did or if they’d linger in the teeth and scratch and bristle. She slunk up the hill to the north on the pack’s favored trail, filling her muzzle with the scent of heavy musk and petrichor. 
The stag was waiting. 
His antlers glinted in the cold dead moonlight, graceful as a halo, round as the crescent moon. He turned his head. She met his eyes and lunged. 
She tore out the flesh of his neck like pages from a holy book, paper beneath her fangs as his blood ran like wine at a ritual. His stomach opened just as easily, staining the fallen leaves in garish scarlet, and his legs kicked feebly as she tore through the viscera that spilled free, relishing in the iron stench. Mouthful after mouthful, she ate her fill. She tore through muscle and tendon until she finally sank her teeth into his bright-hot heart and swallowed it in shreds. It might have still been beating, or the pulse between her jaws might have been her own, racing and vicious. She felt every piece reach her stomach, filling the void, hot in her chest like a hearthfire, bright as a star, sweet and tangy in the wolf’s senses and prickling in her own. 
She hunted the liver down among the mess and swallowed it next, and the kidneys, and parts she knew no name for that glistened red and pink and sickish yellow in the light. She savored the feeling, the soft wet warm of it, the taste of the life that would fuel her own. She pried out the lowest of his ribs and it crackled in her jaws and she chewed out the marrow until there was nothing left of worth. 
She didn’t know when he stopped moving, only that eventually, he did. It took too long. 
When the wolf’s stomach filled, she lost the shape and scrabbled at the stag with her own weak human-shaped hands, her fingers shaking, nails digging into the slickened meat for purchase and prying up scraps to devour. She shook and shuddered and buried her own face into the stag’s shattered chest, drinking the lifeblood until it dried sticky on the edges of her skin, until she was full, until her aching stomach silenced and stopped and grew bloated with bleeding flesh. 
She raised her head and her gaze caught upon his eyes. They were wide, and glassy, and milky with the haze of death. 
She turned away from the kill and threw up nothing but bile, choking on the taste of steel. 
“Thank you,” she murmured, too hoarse for anyone to hear, shuffling to the side and cradling his head in her lap, the warm blood filling her soft dark pants and seeping through to her skin. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Thank you.” 
She leaned over him, wrapped her arms around his neck, curling her fingers into his short soft fur. Velveteen. Buried her face in his, her eyes hot and stinging, she swore she felt the ghosts of hands in her hair as the blood dried sticky on her face and melted down her cheeks. She clutched him tight enough to strain the scabs down her chest and belly, threatening to once again reopen the wounds. And she stayed there, waiting, until nothing came. Her stomach was quiet. 
As she rose to her feet, she carefully bent and lifted as much of the stag as her body could manage. He was lighter than seemed fair, even to her haggard limbs. 
Her hands didn’t shake. 
There were hunters in these woods. The angels had told her, murmurs in the night, between the endless thoughts of hunger. They could help her. She stumbled through the brush, dragging the stag behind her, listening for someone larger than herself. 
In the hours before the dawn, she found a young man in the valley, carrying a crossbow and a knife. He stiffened at her approach, and stood there wide-eyed, watching. 
The words she spoke to explain herself died in rasping whistles in her throat, but still he watched, rapt, his eyes darting between the stag and her own face. 
“You… you killed that?” the man asked, gesturing. 
She nodded. Her neck twinged. She felt the man’s gaze skirt over her scarred neck, her hands slick with blood, the wrinkled scabby mess of her stomach where it was visible between the hem of her shirt and her makeshift belt. 
“Do you… need to… take it somewhere?” She shook her head. The man swallowed. “That’s a lot of meat for one person. Erm…” He looked around, and she tilted her head. “…Do you know how to treat it? If you’re planning to eat that yourself, you probably want to salt-preserve it, it’ll spoil quickly otherwise. I could… help?” 
She shook her head quickly, forcefully, then nodded, please, and the man flinched.  But he was true to his word. 
He led her to a clearing, his hands fluttering and his soft eyes nervous as she followed like a wraith, and showed her how to lay the stag down and open the rest of its body with a clean sharp knife. How to strip the meat from the bones, careful and keen, and process it into chunks and then lay it in pieces in salt to let it dry. She watched the process with singleminded focus, noting down every last motion, memorizing each flick of the knife. 
He let her borrow his blade, so she could clean the carcass and keep that velveteen skin. With a few weeks’ drying and treatment, it would make a good blanket to last the winter through. She stripped the stag to the bones, and kept those as trophies. That night, the angels taught her to sharpen them into knives. 
When the man had left, knife and bow in hand, retreating into the shadows, she realized that he never once quite looked her in the eyes. 
She kept the skull. Late at night she stared into its face, searching for the glint of the stag’s all-knowing gaze in the depths of his bones, knowing there was nothing on the other side. She stared at him until somewhere deep inside, a part of her became him. Until his eyes became her own. 
She took the form of a deer in the morning, wearing the weight of his antlers like a crown. The herd moved by her in the bushes and watched her like a ghost. 
She went south. The winter was upon her, and it was time again to travel. The herd had enough to haunt them.
#dnd fic#this is... more gruesome than i usually go in for but it was fun to write#the way this feels like cannibalism when it definitely isn't#but at the same time in some metaphorical sense it kind of is#it's more... killing somebody and then stealing their skin#hush is a creepy forest witch who talks to angels and makes people nervous#and i love that for her#the hunter she met in the woods is just some sad little himbo trying to feed his family and thanking the gods he wasn't murdered by the fey#100% that man thought hush was either a faerie or a demon and feared for his LIFE#i told the DM that someday i would love her to just randomly bump into that guy again#because now that she's healed enough to /talk/ again she wants to thank him and will be all excited to see him#'omg it's my best friend!!!' meanwhile this poor guy is shitting himself 'oh fuck oh no i DID accidentally sell my soul to the fey'#hush is one of those characters i categorize as 'obliviously terrifying'#she is just a gal trying to survive and trying to regain her sense of self after being violently dehumanized for over a decade#she encounters other people and is overwhelmed but tries to be 'normal'#she just... fails to realize that between the aasimar angel traits and the inability to talk and the telepathy she uses to compensate...#she is very scary to other people#but then you talk to her and she is in tears of joy bc she had a fresh baguette this morning and it was really good#and it's like... ah. she's just poorly socialized
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(ln8 spoilers) jinshi thinking except for my godly looks i am just average and then his smartass goes and kills around five birds with just one brand. someone whose status is so high that even his name can't be said by anyone except the emperor jinshi branded himself with the crest of the empress vowing loyalty to her assuring her he doesn't wants to take the place of her son. one-upping his "bro" with this who refuses to let him leave the line of succession wouldn't let him become a commoner doesn't wants to let him become a servant to the royal family. only slaves get branded and if this ever got out there will be chaos in the court. gyokuyou tho considers jinshi like a brother and he did swear loyalty to her but if she ever tried to cross his family her clan's brand on his body would be enough to prove her as an adultress which would be bad for her and her clan.
and jinshi did this in front of these two people and maomao so now she is the only one who can see him naked and the emperor cannot order him to marry anyone which was something that was definitely gonna happen had he not done what he did. as a bonus he gets to spend more time with maomao after a long time and he did all this while saying the exact words: empress gyokuyou, your enemy i shall never be in front of maomao reassuring her because she once muttered i don't want to be an enemy to empress gyokuyou and he had heard her but before he could tell her that he had no intention of doing that either he couldn't because of the lishu incident. one of the major reasons maomao hadn't accepted her own feelings for jinshi one of the obstacles he promised to remove for her. even though he doesn't even know that maomao's concerns about her becoming gyokuyou's enemy had to do with his birth secret his true status. that no matter what he is the rightful successor. something jinshi himself isn't even aware of and yet without knowing that he did this to deal with it all in a single way most preferable to him: masochism
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It's not clear whether Realmbreaker was fully conscious/sapient before Wrenn reached out to him, but it would be very reflective of Norn's particular strain of evil if her entire invasion plan relied on bullying a (Phyrexian) child into compliance.
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squidkid15 · 7 months
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I like to think Shadow was scruffed a lot as a kid and that instinct never quite wore off. It still works.
Rouge has been known to abuse this when he's being stupid.
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calamitys-child · 7 months
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My purpose and singular mission in life is to make sure queer and/or neurodivergent kids know that sometimes it really is their parents who are stupid and other adults are on their side. This, unfortunately, does not make me popular with their parents. Gonnae keep doing it though.
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thatrandomartistjavi · 10 months
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Anytime someone says that darker retellings of Alice are actually more accurate to the books then the more colorful ones, I’m convinced that they’ve never read the books in their entire lives
They just saw the realistic illustrations and went “Oh my god this is too spooky ☹️” like be so real
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rxttenfish · 4 months
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while aaravi remains firmly within "yeah miranda has a difficult personality and isn't very easy to get along with + has many rough edges which are slowly being worked on but still going to be an issue" after having been very much so within the camp that miranda is a Vexing Bitch upon first contact/getting to know her, she DOES go from "miranda is unpredictable and dangerous as a merfolk and large macropredator and her emotions are inscrutable and random" to "merfolk aren't very hard to understand or predict and it's very easy to stay on the safe side if you keep basic rules in mind and don't freak out the second something unexpected happens"
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#just. thinking about it!#thinking about specifically how merfolk (like most other animals) growl/hiss specifically as a deterrent#like if you start really upsetting miri and she wants space and you to Please Stop#she will probably turn her face away from the other person or turn her body away from them#while growling or hissing and pulling her fins back#and will open her mouth to bare her teeth or gape her mouth open to show her teeth (including heavily panting)#where the point is ''i will hurt you if you touch me/get closer/dont stop so please dont do that''#but a lot of people read it as her being either obtuse (if she turns away from them)#or outright aggressive for the showing of teeth and growling#when shes really not. shes being very polite in merfolk terms in giving multiple chances to avoid violence#shes going ''i am worried i might have to hurt you so please reconsider'' in a way thats very readable if youre another merfolk#who will then step away or give her her space and switch the tone of the conversation#to see whats wrong#whereas her being more deliberately aggressive/violent usually comes with minimal vocal cues at all#or (if shes specifically threatening someone such as in the case of getting aggressive over perceived threats to her social bonds)#she will often turn towards them and open her mouth and flare her fins#often deliberately closing the distance and making herself appear Extra Large#she WILL growl here but will never hiss (hissing being a more defensive sound)#and will often smack her tail against the ground or show her claws or otherwise demonstrate how large and how scary she is#as a deliberate point of ''you crossed a line and this is what is going to happen to you if you dont make it up right now''#which! both require VERY different responses but might look similar to a human!#and might end up coming off as unpredictable or random in her actions and cruelty!#when shes not! shes just doing things the way a merfolk does them#which means aaravi realizes VERY quickly after learning about all of this#just how many cues miranda gives that people are starting to make her uncomfortable and feel Not Okay#that are ignored or written off because theyre merfolk cues#merfolk are very tolerant of stress but have basically no concept of escalation of violence for that reason#because if youve ignored every chance to prevent something dangerous up until the point it goes too far
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thetisming · 2 months
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something people dont talk about is that losing a pet can be genuinely traumatic
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softquietsteadylove · 2 months
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I know you said you don’t love writing thenamesh as actual biological parents (totally respect that and agree, I especially agree that Thena probably wouldn’t be the most willing mother (although I live and die for TMTL AU)) ANYWAY! would you possibly be interesting in writing something where Thenamesh accidentally stumble into parenthood without meaning to?? Maybe a little orphan child in ancient times won’t leave them alone and they end up raising them? (probably begrudgingly on Thena’s part to begin with but she’s a secret softie especially when Gil is smitten and we all know it). No worries if you don’t wanna write something like that, just something I was thinking about!
Thena sighed, "I know you're there."
She didn't receive a reply, and she knew she wouldn't. She stood from where she had been - entirely against her wishes but at Ajak's behest - reviewing some of the senate's requests. The various war orders and border reports were draining her.
She stepped down towards the door of the room, the skirts of her white toga trailing behind her. She spoke again, "orphan."
He responded to more than that, of course. Sersi thought it was cruel of her to address a child that way, but he responded to it. A small head of blonde peeked out from behind one of the larger vases.
"What are you doing here?" she asked him with an expectant tone. She raised her chin to further look down upon the boy, "you know better than to enter the temple of Athena without permission."
Usually, she was loath to bring up the title of Athena in any way. But if she need be stuck with it, she could make use of it.
The boy shuffled out, his hands clasped in front of the brown burlap of his tunic. "I was looking for Gilgamesh."
The boy was positively enchanted by her Champion. Plenty were, of course, but this boy idolised Gilgamesh and the very ground upon which he walked. And Gil was equally charmed by the small child. She thought he entertained his obsession entirely too much.
But the boy enjoyed trailing behind Gilgamesh when he was walking between the forge and the acropolis, or watching him train fighters in the arenas, or even when he was in the orchards gathering fruit.
"Why do you think he is here?" Thena fixed her eyes on the boy. Most grown men would be sensible enough to cower, but the child stepped even closer to her.
He glanced behind him a few times.
Thena let out another breath. She was not a caretaker, she had no business with the boy steps away from clinging to her. But she unfolded her arms and knelt down to see him better. Children's heads were so small. "Speak."
"The guards," the child twisted his lips. "They tell me not to bother the gods."
They also were no gods of old, at least not how Athens imagined them to be. But Thena had no qualms letting them think that if it meant them keeping their distance, either.
"And if they are correct to tell you these things?" she raised her eyebrows. But the boy shuffled even closer to her. She sighed, "what did you do?"
This child was no angel, just like they were no gods. He liked getting into trouble, challenging those twice his size, proclaiming that he would be a fierce warrior someday. And sometimes that 'challenge' was him running up to someone and whacking them with his only possession: a toy sword, fashioned from wood (clumsily, by his own hand).
"They were being cruel," he spoke in defense of himself. His hands left his tunic to clench into tiny little righteous fists. "They were laughing at old man Socrates! One even threw his apple at him!"
Thena felt her hackles raise. She had no business policing humans; they were of no concern to her. But what did bother her was senseless cruelty to those more vulnerable than the strong. "And you decided to do something about this."
The boy's small shoulders fell again, though. "I told them I challenged them to a duel."
Thena tilted her head. His tunic was still fastened above his trousers with a rope, but there was no toy sword. "Where is-"
He sniffled, trying not to let his tears fall, "they took it and broke it in half."
That was why he had run to her. Well, he had been seeking Gilgamesh's comfort, foremost. But he had also known that if the authorities of Athens were the ones committing an injustice, only the gods would correct them.
Thena frowned at the child's tears dropping onto the stone floor. He wasn't her child; he was no one's. He was, like many others, a result of the many wars Athens had waged before, and were attempting to continue waging. It was exactly that which she was opposing, despite her title as their figurehead for war.
Footsteps approached, heavily and loudly. The boy nearly leapt in fear and scurried to hide himself behind her, even tugging at her dress like a tapestry to hide his feet.
She glanced somewhat over her shoulder in the direction of the little head of blonde hair, getting tears and snot all over her pure white robes.
"Goddess Athena!" the guards greeted her before all else. Their heavy armour and leather skirts made sound with every breath they took. "Forgive our intrusion."
She said nothing.
"We were pursuing a street urchin, and we fear he may have run in here." The captain of their group stepped forward, the adornment on his helmet distinguishing him from the others. "We wish not to disturb you. But we cannot let a stray mutt wander into the hall of gods."
Thena looked at each of them. She owed them no words, and they had no right to ask them. Her lips twitched. "You have a splinter."
The guard seemed embarrassed, rubbing at his arm. "Forgive me, O-Warrior. I was struck with a splintering old board."
A child's toy, now no doubt sitting broken in the streets. Thena looked at the others. "Which of you ate the apple?"
They looked between themselves, confused. "My Lady?"
"One of you was eating an apple," she continued, raising her empty palm. They knew what that meant, stepping back. "And threw it at a harmless old philosopher."
Their faces went pale. It brought some joy to her, but she kept her face even. Their fear was the best part of her day. Rather than deny the wisdom of the Goddess of War, they knelt. "We beg your forgiveness, great Athena."
She drew back, her blade in her hand in a second. She took a harmless swipe over their heads, although the tops of their helmets fell unceremoniously to her floor like feathers from a startled bird.
The men trembled.
Satisfied that her message was received, she retracted her powers like a cat closing its paws. "Be gone from my sight."
The men obeyed, scurrying away, abandoning the remains of their rank, leaving them to explain what had happened to their uniform. If she ever did see them again, she would not be so kind as to let them go with their dignity.
"They will not bother you again," she said more quietly. The boy was strong; he had stopped trembling. And he had, at the very least, the wisdom to let her face his multiple foes.
He sniffled one last time before stepping away from her protection. "They always do, eventually."
Then next time, she would have them begging her for their lives. She kept her eyes looking out the door as she patted the boy's head. She wouldn't have been able to read the expression on his face regardless. "Gilgamesh should be done in the forge by now. He may even take you to the great hall. I believe they are making the baklava today."
The child's eyes lit at the promise of sweets. "Can I have some?"
She did her best not to smile, lest she encourage his youthful impertinence. But she may not have been entirely capable of suppressing it. "Tell them Athena herself demands it."
The boy didn't even look twice at her, running towards the door and nearly slipping in his old, worn sandals.
"Heracles," she called after him. He turned at the sound of his name. "Return with Gilgamesh. We will show you how to strike someone properly."
The boy beamed. His cheeks were ruddy and his teeth were small and uneven, and yet they fit his cherubic face. "Yes, Thena!"
He had heard Gil address her casually too often. If he called her that, what if others thought it acceptable? But she couldn't bring herself to be angry with the boy. It was far too difficult to hold a grudge against something so sweet and innocent.
Technically, the senate decrees still needed seeing to. But she had more important things to think about. And before young Heracles returned with Gilgamesh in hand, she had some whittling to do. She wasn't Phastos, or Sersi, by any means, but even she could carve a sword out of some spare wood.
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#manectric#i woke up at like noon today y'all i'm queuing this after work. i forgot about it all day and i was about to hop on totk#but i got the reminder to do it. so here i am. with manectric#el woowoo‚ if you will#a lot happened. yesterday. it was not a very good day. which is why i woke up so late. it was a little bit rough. but i guess it's a new day#so. it'll get better. planning on Not Doing Shit today or tomorrow to compensate for all the Bullshit that happened yesterday#hoping you all are doing well. one week from today (friday june sixteenth) i'll be hopping on a flight for the first time in 10 years#looks like according to the queue this will actually go up the day before we leave. so‚ to you guys‚ i'll be heading out tomorrow#which is scary a little bit. last time i flew i had no idea i was autistic‚ but now that i've come up with a lot of better accommodations#for myself and i understand myself a lot better and my needs‚ i'm realizing a lot of my accommodations just aren't gonna make it through TSA#plus it's a lot of unfamilarity with unfamiliar people and an unfamiliar environment which i feel like is gonna lend itself to sensory#overload like Immediately and i'm probably gonna get a headache bc that's how it manifests for me#so when we get there i'm probably gonna have to run to the nearest pharmacy. and grab some shit. which is annoying! so. i'm a little#worried. about the trip. NONE OF HTIS IS ABOUT MANECTRIC SORRY#this is a pokémon i have a hard time caring about outside of its involvement as the leader of the electrike in amp plains#that's about it#any tips from frequent flyers who are autistic would be greatly appreciated. not even just about flying but about like. going to unfamiliar#places on the other end of the country and stuff. i feel like that's what i'm most worried about even though i'm worried abt all of it#also hi i'm writing these tags from day-of. like the actual day this is going to post. me from a week ago sure did know what she was talking#about! anyway. i'm. gonna like. take my meds now goodBye see you all when this Posts in a few hours
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im-smart-i-swear · 8 months
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webby would have LOVED mystery flesh pit national park
#my funky guys#shed be sooo fascinated w it#shed be pissed about the comercialisation of it n shit BUT. at the same time if she could take a hike in there?#she would. 100%. and shed be having a blast tge whole time#like. shed have a love hate relationship w the whole national park thing and how irresponsible the whole situation was#bc it WAS shitty and sketchy as hell#but on the other hand she just really really loves the idea of being able to walk around the insides of a colossal beast#so shed be like 'ofc nobody should be allowed to fuck around in there like that wtf dude thats so dangerous and irresponsible#.except for me. they should let ME fuck around!!! fuck the corporation and tourists i would treat her right!!!!!!#*I* would be careful and wouldnt exploit the resources and keep distance from the fauna unlike SOME PEOPLE'#ok well. i mean weblums exist so i suppose she COULD walk around the insides of a giant organism#but still the mystery flesh pit has that certain allure. a vibe. weblums are cool as hell but theyre not an eldritch underground horror#weblums are cool space whales but the mystery flesh pit is .well the mystery flesh pit. cant rlly compete w that#anyway. the pit may be a deatrap but not for her. shed survive. shes special like that the giant lobsters wouldnt eat HER#also webby would be very much on the pits side. its not ITS fault people are stupid?? its just chilling!!! its not evil!!!!!!#'ohh but those arthropods are scary!!! WELL. theyre WILD ANIMALS DIPSHIT ofc theyre hostile. and plus theyre cool as hell'
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hand-of-devotion · 1 year
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I've come around on Callowmoore and in doing so realized my main problem with them originally was part of the fandoms insistence on chalking them up to being "a sexy provocative woman being sexy next to a sexy gruff man". Where as I can only enjoy them through the lens of their autistic arospec t4t weirdness.
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get-more-bald · 22 days
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the biggest thing about X6 is not that he doesn't think of himself as human (though he doesn't, and according to some it's correct) BUT that he doesn't see himself as a Person
#searching through the X6-88 tag on tumblr has not brought me joy#also. 1 thing about is that i hate hate hate the (i think) canon blue eyes he has. like. for fucking what#1st i saw them on tumblr and thought 'well thats stupid. whyd you give him blue eyes? so hed look special? thats weird. at least its uncanon#also. on god. i saw some post headcanoning the companions' appearances and it was p cool UNTIL they got to x6#and they gave him grey 'almost white' eyes for literally no reason. like if you want to go with the scary factor theres so many ways for it#but no. some people think that blue/grey eyes are sooo special. and for what#<- i have brown eyes but im not just being salty. it really sucks. i dont wanna be the one to call fandom racism but it does smell like it!#also like. i didnt want to go on a stupid tirade about racism in the tags again but the way fandom treats x6 AND preston is just upsetting#other people have made some very good points about it and im not going to repeat them here (also noones gonna read this)#but like... theres 3 'main' black characters that i remember: preston garvey (whom the stron majority of the fandom hates/disliked)#x6-88 (basically the players slave? also hated for being mean and unfeeling (which is justified imo). no quest no freedom no nothing)#and gloria (who i havent met in game but ive heard some actual criticisms of (like. the way shes treated ingame) and noone else talks about)#if theres any other Named and Important characters. sorry but i literally do not remember them#coming back to x6 being justified in being unemotional/mean. he was literally raised this way. he doesnt consider himself to be a person#being he was made that way. he is a Thing and hes meant for one job and hes made to inspire fear#and hes not supposed to have emotions so he just. doesnt. if he does he cant express them anyways#1 if fallout4 was a better written game (or 2 if x6 was white) i think thered be SO much fanfiction about him. the possibilities are endless#i have something brewing in the back of my head. i might start writing even though i suck and its going to be bad#ANYWAYS. general fandom thought on x6 are WRONG and im being a HATER. fuck everyone who doesn't like x6. if you dont like x6 get off tumblr#especially if you like gage but not x6. leave fr#i just woke up wtf am i doingggg
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tamagotchikgs · 5 months
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i did end up coming extremely close to passing out after doing the starting stretches and maybe,,, 6 ? moves in the air :( so i had to go sit down n then i threw up whihc was very embarrassing but i dont think anyone noticed since it was around the corner in the garbage. im sad i had to miss out on another day tho ,,,,,,,, also,,, i feel like such a failure. i only got like 4 classes in before my ab injury n now this o(-< the instructor told me twice it's good i know my limits n to follow them and that she's proud of me for coming back but aaa,,,
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variksel · 1 year
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i know that fanon (and canon? idk) scary has at least partially dyed pink hair but what if . thats not actually scary dyeing her hair black and pink, its a remnant of terry who had fully pink hair
scary dyeing her hair an artificial box-colour black, but for some reason leaving a stripe of pink. its faded and clearly not as well taken care of as the black in her hair but its still there
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it's like. everything happens so much. it's all happening right now but at the same time nothing is happening whatsoever. it's a liminal space of an existence. it's slowly crushing me under the weight but when I look up there's nothing actually bearing down on me. there shouldn't be any weight. something is wrong but nothing has happened. I'm simultaneously overwhelmed and utterly bored. nothing is happening and maybe that's the everything that's happening. maybe the everything is the nothing. we aren't there yet but it's all so imminent. either everything is going to crash down or nothing is. I'm just waiting to figure out which.
#I refuse to be upset at anyone. I have so much love in my heart#but I'm going to pack formal clothes for my sister in my own bag just in case. she doesn't need to know that.#you couldn't pay me to care or to stop caring. it's cognitive dissonance#because I know this won't always affect me but it's my whole world right now#I say I don't care and I mean it but at the same time I care more than anything else#it's actually almost scary how much I relate to dark alley#not in a ''I'm in a mentally dark or dangerous place'' way but in a ''yeah I compare myself to others too much'' way#and then I try to make excuses so it can make sense to other people so they won't think the worst of me#like literally I'm trying not to think about fall but it's right around the corner and I'm. falling into it I guess#pun intended of course. I don't want to lose all my friends#I want to be one of the kids who gets invited to people's houses for lunch after church and I know I never will be#because that's the kind of thing that's only for the kids who are going someplace. not the ones who stay#I'm feeling very selfish and it's probably bc I'm tired lol this happens sometimes#I'm gonna make dinner for my family and then I'll feel better skskskskk#Lu rambles#sometimes I think I could write poetry#I feel like once my vacation is actually imminent I'll feel better I just haaate the point we're at right now#which is like. it's SOON but not THAT SOON so I feel like I can't do anything bc I'm just waiting for things to get going :/
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