#she is very strange and has a Tragic Backstory and is weird about affection

[sylvesterelle]

A few months ago I knew fuck all about Call of Duty. Then I saw one (1) TikTok of John Price, hallucinated an entire novel-length slow burn poly!141 fic on a 12-hour drive, then wrote the first 60k of it for NaNoWriMo. To get myself going again, I'll be posting chapters here as they're edited! Estimating 100-120k when complete and aiming for a chapter a week (though best laid plans of mice and men and all that).

ok love you enjoy

The Fallout Zone - Chapters 1 & 2

Images: X, X, and X

Sure, a murderous multinational network had very recently tried to bury them under a mountain, but lots of people had wanted to kill Price for some reason or another. He’d had the good pleasure of offing each and every one, and didn’t doubt he’d do the same here. The truth of the matter was that his boys were tired, he was tired, and this was the exact fucking break they needed. Heat off their back, a spacious—if fucking odd—safe house to shelter in, and a thoroughly enchanting enigma of a host he could already feel himself itching to take apart. A right bit of luck indeed, and John had long since learned to appreciate his blessings. Or: the poly!141/found family fic in which deaths are faked, hearts are healed, conspiracies are uncovered, and home is found in the unlikeliest of places.

Chapters 1 & 2, 7.4k, general audiences (rating will go up), cw: canon-typical violence

Read on AO3 I Next chapter

Chapter One - Price

John Price had had better days. 

The captain tugged his gloves off with his teeth and dug his thumbs into his aching temples. God, his fuckin’ head hurt. Maybe not a concussion, but his bell had been rung but good.

The drone of the rotor blades was the shit icing on a shit cake, but Price was too grateful for the chopper’s role in their escape to take it personal. 

Might actually kiss the old bird out of gratitude, really, delivering them from the apocalyptic shitshow they’d been stuck in. Definitely owed Nikolai a good snog for saving their bacon, Kate too—though she’d box his ears for trying.

The woman in question was currently sat up front, consulting a map and muttering directions in Nik’s ear. “Somewhere safe,” was all she’d said when he’d asked their heading, but that was more than enough for now. 

Price scrubbed a hand over his beard, letting out a low hiss when he prodded the split in his lip, the blood throbbing angrily below. Dove when he should have ducked and took it straight to the gob like a right fuckin’ muppet, as Ghost would say. 

The man in question was dead asleep between the bench seats; he’d collapsed from sheer exhaustion shortly before they’d boarded and it’d taken all three of them to heft his bulk on to the helicopter.

No one had gotten much rest in the past days, but Ghost least of all—the underground cave too much a reminder of things he’d rather forget. Three days they’d spent hidden away like rats under a peak in the Caucasus. Unsure if their desperate call for extraction had even made it through before running for the hills with a god damned army at their back, so many bullets in the air it looked like rain. 

The snatch-and-grab mission should have been a cakewalk, especially for a team like the 141. A separatist leader with ties to a global arms network they’d been tracing, lying low with his personal guard in a remote lodge. Small team, minimal support. In, out, extract the target, bring him to a nearby base for questioning. Nothing Price hadn’t done a thousand times before on less intel and worse odds. 

Maybe it was too easy, in hindsight. Maybe he should have expected a trap. But the 141 had been run ragged this past year, barely time to catch their breath and tend to their hurts between missions. No time to realize they’d missed the forest for the trees.

They’d been chasing their shadow network over five continents in nine months, with fewer successes than a man like John Price typically enjoyed. The enemy was diverse in their investments: funding a politically ambitious cartel leader here, facilitating a military coup there; illicit chemical and mining operations in half-a-dozen countries and a penchant for disappearing weapons transports that gave Laswell more than one sleepless night.

Wherever they went chaos followed, but for the life of him Price couldn’t figure out the pattern, the underlying goal. Every instinct told him there was a piece of the puzzle he was missing, something that would make it all make sense. 

So when Laswell called with lead on a target, one with exactly the kind of information they needed and tucked up in a secluded valley all snug for him, well. Like dangling a bone in front of a starving dog, wasn’t it. 

And so the trap had been laid, and laid well.

They lost comms the moment their boots touched ground, too swift and complete to be anything but planned. Took only a fraction of a second for Price to realize they were expected, a half-heartbeat more to shout a retreat, already ripping the emergency satphone from his vest. 

Could only hope that Laswell was listening as he bellowed their destination, the line going dead moments later. The rest was a little hazy. John’s head throbbed painfully when he tried to recall the grisly path they cut to the hills, each body seeming to be replaced by three more. 

A bloody fucking miracle they made it, in hindsight.

The 141 were built to be Hail Mary team. The knife’s edge was where they performed best, a unit uniquely suited to excel at the precise moment when all seemed lost. But their survival this time involved no skill, no strategy, no plan of mouse or man. This was a shitshow; this was a run for their fucking lives. 

The only reason the men of Task Force 141 were still among the living was a quirk of geology, a labyrinth of natural caves spiraling through the mountains of the Chechnyan border. They’d discussed the caverns as a contingency early in planning, but it was so far down the list of plans that it might as well have been another fucking alphabet. Not something they should waste time and resources LiDAR mapping, not on a mission as straightforward as this. 

It was a decision Price cursed repeatedly over the next three days, holed up in a dead-end tunnel close to the surface and waiting for a rescue that might never come.

Seventy-two excruciatingly long hours of near-constant shelling, nerves frayed to breaking and blood clotted with mortar dust from jagged rockfall. Small comfort knowing your enemy didn’t have your precise location when they seemed happy to level the entire mountain. In different circumstances, John might have been impressed.

As it was, by the first night he was seriously considering if death by gunfire wouldn’t be better than waiting for the hit that would finally bring the walls down on them. Certainly better than wandering the tunnels in the dark, just running out the clock until their bodies gave out.

If their faces were anything to go by, his men had been thinking much along the same lines. Ghost didn’t utter a single word the entire time they were underground, back pressed to a wall and eyes drilling holes into darkness—creeping in around the light of their rapidly-dying flashlights. Price spent most of his time sitting next to his lieutenant in silence, grounding him with a hand on his neck and a thigh pressed up against his own. Watched as Gaz paced a rut in the floor and Soap shadow-boxed violently against the wall.

Price had near made peace with the fact they were going to die in that hole when a faint whistle had come from one of the branching tunnels deep in the mountain. The three-note song of a wood thrush; a bird native to the eastern United States, just like someone else they knew.

They followed that sound like the salvation it was, squinting as they emerged into a too-bright twilight. Price was so sick with relief to see Laswell and Nikolai standing there that he didn’t pay much attention to the corpses at their feet. Wasn’t until Gaz made a strangled sound that he looked close enough to realize they wore familiar uniforms, no doubt lifted from their bags back at base. Hell, they’d even found a skull plate to complete the picture.

John was already pulling his dog tags up and off before they asked, his neck tingling with its absence. Wouldn’t be surprised if he looked down to see the letters seared into the shape of him, time-worn into his skin.

A few discrete charges was all it took to bring the tunnel down with sufficient force to disfigure the bodies, the sound blending with the chorus of shelling and camouflaging their takeoff. 

They’d been flying nonstop since, long enough that the dawn was creeping its tendrils over the horizon.

John groaned and stretched his legs out as far as he could, avoiding Ghost’s prone form. He could feel the weight of the past days in every aching bone, the lack of sleep burning acid in his veins.

God, he’d give his left bollocks for a cigar. Couldn’t even smoke it with his mouth all prettied up like this, but maybe the smell would steady his nerves, force down the acid in his gullet. 

Price had been in some truly shit spots in his life. It was a necessity of the job he’d been doing for nearly two decades and the job that would probably kill him in the end. So shit spots…well. He’d had plenty of those.

But rarely, rarely had John Price run away from a fight.

On this mission he’d felt like prey for the first time in his life, and it left him nauseous in his very bones.

In truth, they’d gotten lucky none of them were hurt worse. So lucky he’d call it divine intervention, the part of him that still believed in that sort of thing. 

Gaz got the worst of it: a dislocated shoulder yanked back into place on the cave floor, arm wrapped in a temporary sling. Ghost, like Price, had taken an unlucky blow to the head and bore a souvenir in the crack that spiderwebbed through his mask, threatening to shatter the whole thing. And Soap, well, Soap had been so soundly battered he looked like one huge bruise. But he was still breathing, snoring like a chainsaw into Gaz’s unhurt shoulder. 

Battered, but not broken. A bloody miracle by anyone’s count.

His moment of relief was interrupted when Ghost gasped into consciousness on the floor. His lieutenant jackknifed violently, his weight shifting the craft and sending John clutching at his chest like his granny after a good scare. 

Stunned into his own wakefulness, Soap moved faster than John could follow, gripping the back of Ghost’s vest and saving him from tumbling out into open sky.

“You daft, spooky bastard,” Soap yelled as he yanked the larger man back to safety. “Don’t go dying after we went through the trouble of haulin’ your carcass in here.” 

He settled the lieutenant against his legs, releasing his vest with an affectionate pat. 

“That’s no mean feat, ya ken. There’s a bloody lot of you.”

Price shook his head, amused in spite of himself. Soap was good for that; seemed to bounce back faster than the rest of them. Got into trouble faster, too, but it kept Price from getting too maudlin—no mean feat in itself, he could admit.

He reached forward and tapped twice on his lieutenant’s knee pad, gaze assessing. “You broken, son?” 

It took a worryingly long moment for Ghost’s eyes to focus on him, but the nod he gave was steady, and Price wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Laswell chose that moment to lean back, gesturing impatiently for them to grab the headsets off the wall. One arm out of commission, Gaz leaned over so Soap could slip the headset over his ears. Did the same for Ghost after, ignoring the man’s upraised hand and the little growl that followed. 

John donned his own, turning to the front.

“Hello Kate, good to see you, wish it was under better fuckin’ circumstances,” he greeted her, adjusting the mic. 

“You and me both, John,” she replied. “It’s good to see you boys mostly in one piece.”

Price snorted derisively. “In spite of all efforts to the contrary. You wanna tell me what the fuck that was? They were waiting for us with a fucking army, Kate. Four men against a bloody army.”He leaned forward with a finger punctuating his words, temper burning unchecked after the strain of the last few days. She’d understand. “You told us you the source was good, that the information could be trusted. You delivered us right into the mouth of the fucking tiger, Kate. What. Went. Wrong.” 

She ignored his accusing finger and met his gaze, serious and heavy with guilt. They hadn’t had much cause to apologize to each other, but he knew real regret when he saw it.

“I’m so sorry, John,” she said, “I had no idea the danger you’d be walking into.” 

“Danger, danger, she says,” Soap muttered beneath his breath, “more like a two-step with the grim bloody reaper.” 

Kate kept her eyes on John. “The orders came from above, cream-of-the-fucking-crop of actionable intel, or so I was told. But I confirmed it two days ago—the target was never there.”

She leaned forward, eyes intense. “It was always about you, John. They wanted to put the 141 in the ground.”

Price’s fists tightened on his knees, knuckles creaking painfully. He forced himself to take a breath, spread them out. Stay calm, stay clear for his men.

“Who gave you the intel?”

“The director himself, John. Told me it came from a trusted counterpart in another branch, asked me to put my best on it. The director, John,” Laswell said, “That’s not an order I can ignore.” 

“You think he’s in on it?” Gaz frowned. 

Laswell shook her head, certain. “He has no reason to get rid of your team—you’ve gotten us too many wins. Even if he did, this isn’t his style. I’m not going to pretend I like the man, but he’s not wasteful, and he’d never okay a plan that drew so much attention.” 

“So someone noticed the carpet bombing, then?” Ghost asked dryly, the grim humor a strangely reassuring sign.

John scrubbed his fingers through his scruff thoughtfully. “So we’re looking someone else. Someone high up enough that his intel wouldn’t be questioned. Someone who does have a reason to get us out of their way.” 

“You boys? Making enemies?” Nikolai chimed in from up front, “I can’t believe it.” 

John acknowledged the point with a low chuckle, “No shortage of enemies, but not that many with the power to call the director of the CIA to heel. That means top brass, someone protected. We’ll need to be delicate with this one, lads.” 

“Oh wonderful, your strong suit,” Laswell said wryly.

His two-fingered salute was instinctive and drew forth her usual laugh. 

“Delicacy takes time, which is a luxury we don’t often have,” Price said. “The stunt with the bodies—clever bit of work that—buys us time. We use it to rest and recover, to gather everything we know, then go at this with our heads on straight. We very nearly did not survive this mission, and that is on me.” 

John held up a hand, silencing the immediate protests from his men.

“That is on me. I know damn well I’ve been pushing too hard. Too set on the fucking mystery of it that I forgot the most important thing: we change no lives from the grave. I’m sorry, and I won’t make the same mistake again,” he promised solemnly to his men.

Soap opened his mouth to argue, but the bite of Ghost’s nails in his leg cut him off. “Oh aye, you’re just gonna sit there and pretend he’s not talking bollocks?” he said to Ghost, casting him a frustrated look.

Gaz’s elbow to his stomach cut off any further comment. Gaz gave his captain a solemn nod to continue.   

John hooked his fingers in his vest and leaned back against the wall. Let a little smile play at the corner of his mouth; something that might look friendly if you didn’t look too close. 

“Here’s the good part, lads: while we take our little holiday, fix all our broken parts, our enemy is going to deliver himself to us. The way I see it, all we need to do is lie low for a bit and see who gets a little bold in our absence. Who gets a little big for his britches, now he thinks mother isn’t looking over his shoulder.”

John let a little, pleased growl slip into his voice, already anticipating the pleasure of the hunt. Of the kill. “Maybe gets a little sloppy, our birdie. And there we’ll be, ready to clean up the mess.”

Even tired as they were, John could feel the energy shift in his men, hounds pricking up for the hunt. They would recover, they would recoup, and they would scorch earth on their return—that was a fucking promise.

“Alright boys,” Laswell said, “The more people we can convince that you died on that mountain, the more time we buy to uncover the whole rotten shape of this thing. That means you’ll have to go dark; lie so low you’re practically underground.”

“Too soon,” Gaz muttered under his breath.

“I’m taking you to stay at an old friend’s place—off the grid and not on any agency’s radar, as far as we’re aware. This is no crawl space safe house, boys, and I expect you to use every resource available to you. Whatever fight is coming, I’m going to need all of you at your best.”  

Up front, Nikolai tapped Kate’s shoulder, signaling their final approach. 

“Now, you boys ready to see your new home?”

Chapter 2 - Price

They’d put down in a small clearing a couple miles out from their destination, hefting duffle bags through dense forest. 

It should have been peaceful, all mossy green trees filtered with sunlight, a sky so blue it hurt to look at it, and birdsong the only sound on the breeze. 

But there was something…off about the woods. 

The fucking talismans, for one thing. They spotted the first only a few moments after they landed, woven with birch and something that looked suspiciously like hair. Hung at irregular intervals through the trees, catching in John’s periphery when they moved in the breeze and making him feel like there were bodies in the trees, moving just out of reach.

They were probably just a folklore thing, superstition, John tried to convince himself. Gettin’ himself all worked up over nothing. 

But then there was a flicker at the corner of his eye, a flash of blue and black and bone slipping through the trees. John startled like a babe when the image resolved into a fuck-off massive horse, all powerful legs and sweat-slicked black coat, steam rising from its nostrils in the early morning light. 

John had barely begun to process its rider when his men caught sight. Ghost dropped to one knee and had his eye to the scope in a moment, but horse and rider were already gone.  

Kate and Nik were entirely unphased.

“It’s just Jack,” Laswell said, like that meant anything to him. “Probably scouting the woods to make sure we weren’t followed. Now c’mon, we’re almost there.”

Price didn’t know of any asset of Kate’s by that name, but Laswell was a black box at the best of times; he’d gotten used to her seemingly inexhaustible resources and secrets alike. Whatever kind of man or beast this Jack was, they’d find out sooner than later.

John rested a broad palm on the back of his lieutenant’s neck and squeezed warmly. Bone tired and still protecting the rest of them.

“Good lad,” Price said softly, “let’s get you home.”

This thought proved less comforting in practice.

“Steamin’ Jesus, did you bring us to fucking Chernobyl?” Soap’s accent sharpened on the last two words, dragging them out in disbelief.

It should be a ridiculous question, but, well. The second they’d stepped out of the woods into a small clearing, all eyes went immediately to the narrow cement tower rising from the center of a dark structure, striped with red like a coral snake. A huge chunk was missing from one side, caved-in likely, and the sight of it did nothing for John’s nerves. 

Warning, every inch of it said. Hazardous to your health.

“Can I just say,” Soap drawled, “I do think the safety of a safehouse is somewhat in question when it’s in a fucking nuclear reactor.”

“It’s decommissioned,” Nikolai said. “Very safe. Scout’s honor,” he promised, eyes glinting with mischief. Price sighed in resignation. He had trusted Nikolai with his life more times than he could count and he’d trust him again, but Soap had a fair fucking point.

He scanned the rest of the surroundings with an appraising eye.

The forest air became tinged with salt as they’d neared the clearing and sure enough Price could see glimpses of gray-blue beyond the trees. Probably used seawater to cool the reactor when it was live, he reasoned. Quietly hoped that it was not and had not been for some time.

All of it was enough for Price to get a rough estimate of their location—likely somewhere on Russia’s northern coast, Kara Sea maybe. He frowned slightly, something niggling in his mind about nuclear testing on the nearby Novaya Zemlya. Ah well, beggars and choosers and all that. Could certainly appreciate that the threat of radiation poisoning might be effective in keeping visitors away. But who the hell would voluntarily live here full time?

Price swept his gaze over the dark, Brutalist façade of the structure built around the tower. Two, maybe three stories. More windows than he expected and a surprisingly charming study in contrasts, blocky concrete lines softened by the glossy, sprawling vines that covered its surface and crawled partway up the tower. With the forest surrounding it on all sides, it looked like the building was slowly becoming one with the wilds. He even spotted some quaint wooden structures through the trees—probably a stable for that damn demon horse.

All told, if Price ignored the distinct feeling of menace coming from the tower, the place could be something from a fairy tale. Maybe a princess waiting for rescue inside, he thought idly, uncharacteristically silly with exhaustion. Just as likely to be the kind of place a Bond villain would hole up, mustache twirling as he plotted world domination. If they found an underground submarine launch for a clandestine escape, John would happily stay there for a time, radiation or no. Maybe even grow out his whiskers to complete the picture.

Kate led them through the clearing into the open mouth of a concrete tunnel, Nik bringing up the rear. When the sea air blew the right way, rattling the metal lights above, it almost sounded like the tunnel was breathing. John wasn’t too proud to admit it brought up the hairs on his neck, especially after their little jaunt through the forest.

The discomfort didn’t abate when they reached the end of a tunnel, an eye-wateringly yellow metal door barring their way. John’s Russian was a little rusty, couldn’t quite translate the bold red Cyrillic on the door, but he knew a warning when he saw one.

Kate didn’t hesitate a moment, punching in a code before leaning over for the thumbprint and retinal scan. The resulting grind of dozens of locks went on long enough that Ghost muttered an impatient “fucking hell” under his breath. When the keypad finally flickered green, he grunted in the way that communicated reluctant respect. Price had spent enough time with Simon to learn he had a whole vocabulary of the things.

“There’s a more discrete entrance closer to the stables, but I wanted you boys to get the full effect,” Kate said with a knowing smile, heaving the door open. “Welcome to Wichita.” 

The first thing John noticed was the noise. 

Someone was playing music and loud. Christ, how thick must those walls be, that they couldn’t hear it even just outside the door? The sound was echoing off the curved walls of the large atrium they stepped into, flooded with light from a massive, circular skylight above.A casual glance around showed no visible speakers, but there must be a subwoofer the size of tank somewhere, heavy bass rumbling in Price’s chest as he swept over the three visible stories.

Not another person in sight.

Kate motioned for them to drop their bags and follow her down one of the halls leading off the atrium, following the noise.

“This some kind of sick CIA torture protocol, Laswell?” Ghost called over the music.

“Ol’ Dirty Bastard!” Soap crowed at him, and Price raised an eyebrow.

“Gonna let him get away with that, Simon?” he asked.

Soap rolled his eyes. “S’the artist, sir. Though now that you mention it…”

“That’ll do,” Ghost cut him off firmly, though with that undercurrent of amusement he always seemed to develop around Soap.

“‘Shimmy Shimmy Ya,’” Gaz piped up. “Fucking banger, that.”

“Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nothing to fuck with,” Soap said, nodding sagely.

“What do you think, Kate?” Nikolai’s warm, rumbling voice called from behind. “Good mood?”

Laswell tilted her head, listening thoughtfully. “Good mood,” she confirmed after a moment. “It’s that godawful emo crap you have to watch out for.”

“Don’t go giving away all my secrets now,” a light, amused voice came from down the hall.

John’s head snapped up. Christ, the thought came unbidden, a princess after all. 

But that thought only lasted a moment.

Price had seen a panther once, hunting below the sniper’s nest he’d built at the edge of a thick forest on a mission in the Cordillera de Talamanc. He’d been holed up in the perch for a few days, waiting on the target’s caravan, when he caught the glint of eyeshine in the undergrowth: a black body well-camouflaged in the night.

For all that Price would consider himself a fairly dangerous man, the sight had sent a wave of instinctual, hind-brain fear through him. He couldn’t tear his eyes away as he tracked the cat from his perch, watching as it patiently stalked a wounded deer through the edge of the forest for hours.

It wasn’t the size or muscle of the animal that made an impression on him, but the way it moved. Sinuously, even gracefully through the brush; all that potential energy coiled and waiting as it tracked its prey with complete, unwavering focus.

It was that panther he suddenly thought of as he took in the lass standing in an open doorway off the hall, one hip propped against the doorframe as they considered each other. Eyes bright for all she pretended ease, a coiled tension in her limbs just waiting for release.

She was somewhere in her late 20’s, if he had to guess. Tall for a woman and built strong--he knew a fighter when he saw one. Especially when they were dressed like goddamn Zorro, Price taking in her all-black outfit with a trickle of amusement. It was charmingly anachronistic: billowing linen shirt open at the neck, suede breeches curving along powerful thighs, wicked leather boots laced to the knee and flecked with mud.

Our forest rider, then, Price internally confirmed.

But for all the fright she’d given them this morning, her face held surprisingly more mischief than malice. He should know better; how many fools had failed to look past his own easy smile and paid the price for it? But still, there was something…disarming about her. She’d made a heroic attempt at tying up her dark hair but wonky curls sprung out to frame a face speckled with more freckles than he’d seen on one person, layered like stars on the darkest night. She had a rosebud mouth that sat incongruously above a stubborn chin, and a clear spark of humor in her eyes as she looked over the men in their tactical gear and black balaclavas—donned as an extra precaution on their trek through the woods. 

“Aw Kate, you brought me a stripper-gram? It’s not my birthday but you’re very sweet. I accept,” she said with a grin.

“Maybe if you ask them nicely,” Laswell snorted. “Meet Task Force 141. Captain Price’s men,” she said, nodding toward him. “They’ve run into a spot of trouble and need a place to lie low. Maybe some help to whip them into shape,” Kate tacked on with a grin, ignoring the noises of offense from Soap and Gaz.

“You don’t say?” the girl said with a curious glint in her eyes. “How very exciting. C’mon then, you can explain while I finish breakfast. No offense, but they’re looking a little…well-used. When was the last time they were fed and watered?”

“Too long,” Ghost muttered darkly.

Soap groaned in agreement. “My stomach’s cannibalizing itself.”

The girl led them into the room beyond, and John was pleasantly surprised to find it didn’t immediately give him the heebie-jeebies like the rest of the place.

It was welcoming, even—especially when she tapped a few times at the device strapped to her wrist and the pounding bass was replaced with something soft and classical that slipped into the background and calmed his nerves.

Price lingered in the entry, taking in the space. While the atrium and hallway had been constructed with the same Brutalist vision as the outside of the building, all concrete and stark lines, this space clearly must have been added later on.

The floors were a rough hardwood, the same material as the wood beams that braced the high ceilings and little lighter in color than the brick walls. Several massive, arched iron-paned windows were set into the far wall, flooding the room with early morning light and highlighting a few lazy specks of dust floating in the air.

It reminded John a little of a place he’d saw once on leave, years ago. Friend of a friend’s party, some factory-turned-loft on Brick Lane. Never cared much for the poncy shit who lived there but remembered thinking he’d like a place of his own like that one day. Somewhere open and warm, almost heavy with light. Like as not Price wouldn’t live long enough for real estate, but a lad could dream.

On the right side of the room was the kitchen, open wooden shelving interspersed with tall glass cabinets and a wrought-iron ladder on a neat track to reach it all. Glassy, emerald tile gleamed between the cupboards and the wooden countertops, the same material that topped an island roughly the size of a Fiat. On the far wall stood a bright red cast iron stove, big enough to feed a family of twelve (or roughly four SAS operators).

Price didn’t spend much time in kitchens, more used to shoveling down whatever high-protein slop was served on base and palate shot to hell from cigars. But even he could tell someone had poured a fortune into the space, all top-of-the-line appliances and gleaming copper cookware on the shelves, glass jars filled with ingredients Price couldn’t even begin to name.

The opposite side of the room was no less stunning. A long wooden table stretched under a cluster of pendant lamps that hung suspended from copper chains—green, petaled glass glowing in the sun. There were benches in place of chairs, but they looked wide and sturdy enough to hold even Ghost. Price also made mental note of two doors set into the wall behind it—pantry or storage, like as not, but he’d feel better once he could get a proper layout of the place. Not knowing his exits made him itchy.

Impressive as the space was, what rightfully piqued John’s curiosity was what lie beyond the kitchen. Moving further into the room, he realized what he’d taken as another set of arched windows in the far wall were actually doors, the slightly warped glass revealing verdant plants crowding beyond when he started forward. From what Price could see of the size of it, something less like a domestic greenhouse and more like a full-blown conservatory. 

Unusual that, for a nuclear reactor. 

Price’s curiosity would have to be sated later, as Ghost’s questioning presence at his shoulder had him up and moving, joining the others in the kitchen proper. He accepted the bottle of water and protein bar Nikolai pressed into his hand with a warm smile and leaned against the island, tuning in as Kate finished summarizing the legendary cock-up that had been their last mission.

“All that said, they need somewhere to disappear for a while,” she was saying to the lass, “and someone they can trust to aid in what comes next.”

“Oh, I do love a good resurrection,” the younger woman said, leaning by the range. “But I rather remember someone telling me I was retired.”

“Benched,” Laswell replied with the weight of an argument long held. “And, with any luck, your immediate threats will resolve well before theirs. I’m ‘thinking positively,’” she said, making quotations with her fingers.

The girl snorted. “Bea?” she asked, correctly ascertaining the source.

“The very one.” 

Price marked the mention of Kate’s wife; few knew she was married, much less the name of her spouse. Hell, Price had only been allowed to meet Bea for the first time only a few years prior.

The girl hummed, taking a moment to check on something in the oven and sending a wave of deliciously-scented warmth into the space.

“Alright, then,” she said good naturedly, straightening up to face the men. “Introduce me to the puppies.”

Price took that as his cue, pulling off his balaclava and scruffing down his hair a touch self-consciously.

“Captain John Price,” he said, nodding in greeting when Jack met his eyes, a lovely hazel threaded with blues and greens that caught the sunlight.

“These are my men,” he said, broad hand coming to rest warmly on Ghost’s neck. “Lieutenant Simon Riley. My right hand, though you’d do better to call him Ghost.”

Ghost grunted his acknowledgement, and the girl smiled at him, clearly undeterred by the cracked skull mask he still wore.

“Sergeant Kyle Garrick,” Price continued, moving down the row.

His sergeant had already removed his balaclava and gave her a charming smile and a wink, hurt shoulder or no. “Call me Gaz,” he said affably.

She gave Gaz the same warm smile she did Ghost before her gaze snagged to the side, eyes going wide as a newly-unmasked Soap rubbed a hand over his mussed mohawk.

“And this is Sargeant—”

“Johnny MacTavish,” she said in disbelief. “You devious little shit, is that really you?” 

Soap was clearly surprised, but Price could see something flickering in his gaze as he looked closer at the girl, eyes lingering on the wide smile that split her face. It was the deep dimple that finally did it, carving out of the girl’s right cheek as she grinned, waiting for Soap to catch up.

“You, you—” Soap stuttered, momentarily struck dumb with recognition. “You bonnie wee menace, get over here.” 

He moved even as he spoke, gathering her up and spinning her in dizzy circle as she hugged him back tightly, their exclamations and laughter overlapping. John shot a questioning look at Ghost, but his lieutenant seemed as in the dark as he was.

“I cannae say why or how you’re here, but I’m mighty fucking glad to see you, hen, really I am,” Soap returned her to the ground, running a hand wonderingly over her curls. “I didn’t recognize you with hair. Never realized you were hiding such bonnie curls under that buzzcut.”

“It’s called change, Johnny, it’s good for you,” she said, scruffing a hand over his own signature cut. She made a face when it came back covered in dust, wiping it on his shirtsleeve.

Soap didn’t react, too busy roving his eyes over her face. “Change indeed,” he said, tweaking the half-moon of hammered silver at her septum with delight. “Lookin’ like a wee highland cow and ev’rything.”

She batted Soap’s hand away only for him to grab her cheeks instead, eyes taking on an almost feral light as he squished them together until her lips pursed and she had to hold back a laugh. “D’ya still have it? Show me, show me, show me,” his sergeant begged, miles from the focused weapon of a man he was on the battlefield.

She rolled her eyes but obligingly poked out her tongue, revealing a matching glint of silver in the center. Soap crowed his approval, shaking her head a little as he grinned. He let go when she went to smack him in the stomach, stepping back with a laugh.

Price caught his eye with an amused smile. “Care to share with the class?” he asked his sergeant.While intellectually a recommendation from Kate was hard to beat, seeing the affectionate way Soap treated the lass set Price more physically at ease than he’d been since they landed. Bleeding out some of that tension inevitable with unknown quantities in their line of work.

“Oh aye, Captain,” Soap said grinning. “The lass and I are acquainted, sir.” 

“I gathered as much,” Price said dryly.

Soap spun the girl around to face his teammates, one arm slung proudly around her shoulders. “Her da was stationed at the same base as my cousin. Spent the summer wreaking havoc together fucking what, twelve? Thirteen years ago now? Christ. Thought I’d never see you again, lass,” he said, squeezing her tightly. “Let me introduce you properly. Lads, this here is—"

The girl slapped a hand across his mouth, cutting him off. “Nickname only these days, I’m afraid,” she explained over Soap’s muffled protests. “Just call me Jack,” she told the men with a smile.

And oh, Price should have guessed. Not like they’d seen anyone else here, after all.

“Jack?” Ghost asked, gaze resting on where Soap’s arm still curved around her shoulder.

“Of all trades, naturally. Blackjack if we’re being formal. But if you call me BJ, I’ll stab you in your sleep,” she told Ghost pleasantly.   

“That's my little Ripper,” Nikolai said fondly as he came forward to greet her, one big hand ruffling her hair. She tilted a cheek up to receive his kiss, smiling warmly.

“Jack is an artist with a knife. You’d like to see her work, Ghost,” Nikolai said with a nod to his lieutenant, who looked a touch skeptical, but at least not outright hostile. Ghost could be a right stuck-up bastard about his knives, Price knew well.

“I’m retired, remember, Nicky?” The lass—Jack—said, shooting an expectant glace at Kate.

“Benched,” the woman muttered right on cue. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Price saw Gaz mouth Nicky to himself in surprise. Fair point, that. John would consider Nikolai one of his closest friends—closer than that even, a time or two—but he still wouldn’t venture that nickname without expecting a swift punch to the gut (or more likely a titty-twister that would have him aching for days—Nik fought dirty as hell.).

Soap, now unmuzzled, had more questions.

“No’ a fan of your proper name anymore, then? It’s a fair pretty one,” he asked Jack, giving her the same pout that had gotten him out of trouble with Price more than once. Ghost every time.

Laswell answered him, brooking no room for argument. “Jack’s got as much heat on her as you do right now, maybe more,” she said firmly. “It’s as much for your own protection as hers.” 

“That right?” Price said, quirking an intrigued eyebrow.

Jack flashed him a grin, holding his gaze as she called to Nik. “What’s the current count, Nicky?” 

“Eh, twenty-seven, last I checked,” the man squinted, thinking. “Might be twenty-eight now, Mogilevich just found about those accounts you drained in Tambov.”

Her eyes shot to Nik, pleased. “Took him long enough,” she said.

Price found he didn’t much like the loss of her attention. “Twenty-eight what?” he queried, feeling little hum of satisfaction when her gaze flicked back to him.

“Contracts, of course,” Jack informed him with a proud smile.

“You’ve got twenty-eight hits out on you?” Soap said, outraged. “Are you out of your bleedin' mind—” he started to form something Price thought might be a name before Jack elbowed him in the stomach. Hard.

She ducked out from under his arm while he wheezed, grabbing the oven mitts off the counter and pulling out a couple trays trailing maple-sweet steam.

Soap glared pointedly at the seated men as he caught his breath. “Some back-up you are. Just gonna let her get away with that?” he groused, hooking a thumb in Jack’s direction.

“You earned it,” Ghost said, and Jack shot him a bright grin.

“Children, play nice,” Kate said, gathering plates and utensils together. But she, too, sounded more amused than angry.

Though Kate had been growing more comfortable with Price’s men, softened no doubt through the many years of their friendship, she was still somewhat…reserved with them. But this, well. This was as friendly and open as John had ever seen her, and he couldn’t help wondering about the nature of her relationship with Jack.

Kate wasn’t close with any of her family—had shared the details of that particular story with John long ago, a few fingers deep into some shitty whisky at a shittier bar. So not a blood relative likely, but she was clearly fond of the girl. Easy with her in a way she was only with Bea, Nik, and himself. But it’d taken him almost two years to get Kate to smile at him like that. Another year or two before she’d ever tease him back. She must have known the lass a long time, but then why wouldn’t have Price heard of her before now?

A stacked plate slid under his nose and drew him back to the present, the mouthwatering smell suddenly reminding him he was near fucking delirious with hunger.

“Hope you like French toast sticks,” Jack said, distributing plates to the rest of the men. “I figured quantity over quality would be paramount based on the fuckin’ size of you lot. These are my favorite though, so you better enjoy them.”

“I am going to kiss you on the mouth,” Soap told her seriously, earlier gripes forgotten.

“So fickle, Johnny,” Ghost chided, his lieutenant plainly enjoying himself.

John reveled a bit at that, at the sheer fucking luck of it all. Simon didn’t always…take to new people. And with the stress of that fucking cave still fresh in his mind, well. Not even Price’s best-case scenario had been this good. But Jack seemed to be capable of a trick only Soap had previously perfected—making Ghost laugh.

“Oh, Nik, before I forget—new batch for you,” the lass in question said, grabbing a tin on the counter. “You know the rules, no more than two at a time. Don’t pout,” she chastised him. “Remember what happened last time?” She gave Price and his men a look of exasperated fondness. “He locked himself in the tank for two hours because he thought the KGB was coming for him. Lots of fun, let’s never do it again,” she said to Nikolai, patting him on the chest.

Soap perked up at that. “Fuck me, you got a tank in here?”

“Oh, Johnny, you’ll cream your shorts when you see what I’ve got stockpiled, you little pyro,” Jack said with a toothy grin that did nothing for John’s nerves. Just what Soap needed, another accomplice—like he and Gaz didn’t give John enough headaches (and paperwork) as it was.

“Fucking hell, there’s two of ya,” Ghost drawled, but he had a light in his eye that Price recognized as, well, not displeased.

“Eat your breakfast,” Kate told the men sternly as she pulled Jack from the room—like as much to do their own catching up as it was to give the men privacy. Nik stayed behind, snatching a French toast stick from Gaz’s plate and promising them showers and clean clothes after they ate.

As Price surveyed his men, happily tucking into their breakfasts and barely coming up for air, he found that he was rather pleased with the way their ship had turned ‘round.

Sure, a murderous multinational network had very recently tried to bury them under a mountain, but lots of people had wanted to kill Price for some reason or another. He’d had the good pleasure of offing each and every one, and didn’t doubt he’d do the same here.

As for the fiction of their death, well. Most everyone who would mourn John Price sat right there at the table. None of them had much in the way of family or friends. Wouldn’t do this job if they did. 

The truth of the matter was that his boys were tired, he was tired, and this was the exact fucking break they needed. Heat off their back, a spacious—if fucking odd—safe house to shelter in, and a thoroughly enchanting enigma of a host he could already feel himself itching to take apart. A right bit of luck indeed, and John had long since learned to appreciate his blessings.

Thus resolved to enjoy his afterlife, the captain tucked gratefully into his breakfast.

Next chapter.

[atlaswingsofruin]

Im going to kill the next person i see (ft. Monster hunter stories 2 AU)

Characters are:

Kyle (as a grey-ish Corgi)

Vyffor (the purple-white-ish novabeast)

Cheval (as a stago wolf, its how I currently want to call the species i drew him as/as a spiked wolf)

Ena (as Dragoverian/as the blue-ish dragon thing)

Navirou (the Siamese cat/the felyne)

Tsukino (the grey felyne with purple clothes)

Explain time:

In my AU, Vyffor & Kyle are gays, both has crush on each other, but Kyle was the more shy one while Vyffor admitted it bluntly without any hesitation, so now they’re boyfriends, Cheval looks very not happy with this in the video, and thats NOT because he’s an homophobic, its because in the AU he’s Vyffor’s adoptive daddy & because his momma died & it really affected him it causes him to be very protective over Vyffor, his own child, and he distrusts Kyle, which is why he isn’t happy about both of them’s relationship, so basically about their relationship & how it began, in the porome/prome (i don’t remember aaah) garden arc, Kyle was very distrustful of Losi (Razewing Ratha’s nickname in the AU) so he didn’t stop arguing with Vyffor, Vyffor has never gotten this mad before, he tried to keep himself from raising his voice, but at a certain point he snapped & raised his voice at Kyle & said “Don’t you get it?! He isn’t dangerous! He did nothing and theres no reason to kill him for something he didn’t do! And even if that dumb legend about him being evil is true, I would still not kill him! He’s ALL that i have! He’s like my older brother! I have no parents, no grandparents since my grandfather died, no siblings, no family! Losi is the only one i have as family! I bet you don’t get it what is it like to live in the streets, without proper food, without a bed, without family, without friends, without proper health, Losi is the only one i got! I will NEVER kill my own brother! IM FUCKING HOMELESS & ORPHAN! If someone said your family are cursed and evil, wouldn’t you do something to protect them?!” Which caused Kyle to finally understand his situation, Vyffor wasn’t a dumb guy who was selfish & careless and didn’t care for the rest like Kyle thought, Vyffor is actually a homeless + Orphan, he was lonely, even if it sounds strange to see a monster as your family (for Kyle it sounded strange), he was also very loyal, and his situation is even worse than Kyle’s situation, Kyle’s father is badly injured, but he still has family, Vyffor has absolutely nothing, which caused him to pity Vyffor, he also felt a strange feeling, a feeling of… love? But thats too fucking early, so through their journey together, Kyle started to love Vyffor even more, to the point it got romantic, at a certain point he and Vyffor hanged out together, Kyle asked Vyffor “do you… like me?…” Vyffor said “Actually, i have a crush on you”, which dumbfounded Kyle, Kyle said “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAID SO?! I FUCKING HAD A CRUSH ON YOU THIS WHOLE SEXING TIME! I THOUGHT IT MAY BE WEIRD, AND HERE YOU ARE ADMITTING IT BLUNTLY WITH ME?!” Vyffor replied calmly “you never said so”, Kyle facepalmed, but then they became boyfriends, thats how it began, now their relationship, Kyle is usually cold & short tempered towards everyone else, just like he was with Navirou, Ena & Cheval (Tsukino is there because she’s Kyle’s Palico so she follows him around), but then when its Vyffor, he’s very soft towards him, just the perfect amount required with Vyffor, who’s literally traumatised big time, tbh, the monster hunter stories protagonist are the ones with the most tragic backstories ever, so tragic & brutal (spoilers for mhs1: the protagonist’s father is an extreme, brutal psychopath, he left his wife to die in hopes she dies with Sivan [the protagonist, she survived but her momma died] and he killed Sam’s [Sivan’s cousin] mother who was also his sister, Sam’s father is Red, so thats when the 2 stories connects, and then the psycho father of Sivan tried to kill Sivan, Sam and the entire crew/Cheval, Lilia, Avinia, and all that, but do not talk to me about the first game, i still didn’t finish it), so that’s basically the animation, showing Kyle’s relationship with Vyffor in nutshell

[maschotch]

Your tags about JJ and her 'just be happy' energy - YES. Always found it so strange that she was given 'sister committed suicide' from the CM writers wheel of tragic backstories and yet still manages to have like no empathy for people who are actively suicidal. Correct me if i'm remembering wrong but the whole thing with her sister is it's supposed to be she loved her so much and still misses her and wears her necklace to remember her - but then people who feel like her sister did, who are depressed (or otherwise mentally ill w JJ lets be real) she's just like... 💕✨don't be sad✨💕 with no attempt at compassion or understanding.

((To be fair, I think a lot (read: most) is just that the CM writers don't write very well (the hottest of takes I know) but is it really too much to ask for the slightest bit of forethought? Narrative cohesion? Could just one of them have maybe written up character profiles (lol) so they didn't end up with a complete reinterpratation of every character every fourth episode? Sorry this got off topic))

never apologize to me for getting off topic aksjdhlskjd i dont think i ever answer anybody’s question i just talk ab random shit

yeah p much everything can be attributed to bad writingTM but for me at least its boring to just leave it at that, yk? i like to come up with some sort of explanation for the dumb shit to give them a cohesive story if nothing else. and tbh i think the lack of understanding jj has for mental illness/suicide has a lot to do with the way she grew up? we know her parents didn’t talk about her sister’s suicide at all. that combined w the traditional small town values of maintaining composure and ignoring/repressing anything that threatens the reputation of a respectable young lady etc combines w the crabs-in-a-bucket desperate clawing she went through to get out of the town leads to this weird mentality that determines worth on strength—or at least ability to hide weakness. she feels this need to prove herself—both to the team and to herself—because of this weird inferiority complex she has bc she’s ashamed to feel emotions akjhdflgas

idk if im just talking out of my ass with this one, but i feel like ive got evidence kajshdl like her whole misinterpretation of hotch? she has this image of him as an uncaring uncompromised authoritative agent whose strength is that he has no weaknesses. which obviously just.. isn’t the way that he is asjdhlakg . intentionally or not, she refuses to see through his coping mechanisms and takes his stoic mask at face value. she respects him not for who he really is but for her own twisted values that she projects onto him. which is why he can never get through to her that it’s okay to lose it, that she doesn’t have to be this rigid unfeeling robot all the time. it’s the complete opposite of how she’s seen the world her whole life. she just… doesn’t believe it

i think another example is in revelations when she asks emily how come none of this affects her. we as the audience (at least on a rewatch) know that it’s bc of her past and what she’s seen and what she’s done and what specific skillsets she’s honed over the years. emily obviously can’t say anything ab that ajksld and with hotch comin up behind her cornering her with his own prying “you’ve never blinked.” jj’s question is personal, but hotch is suspicious. emily’s so focused on deflecting hotch’s perceptive inquiring that she doesn’t really notice that her response “i guess i’m just better at compartmentalizing than most people,” cuts right to the heart of jj’s insecurities when she’s already at an emotional breaking point: she’s already got survivors guilt and hasn’t had anytime to come to terms with anything that’s happened these past couple days, and now she’s overwhelmed w the idea that maybe she really cant handle this job just bc she’s struggling. she demands garcia show her the video of a brutal murder in some sick way of proving herself

unlike hotch, this isnt just a standard she holds herself to. she judges others based on this as well. again, coming from that very small town vibe of criticizing everyone and scrutinizing every move… every mistake is like a strike against god akjsdhlajs she takes it seriously. not just for her, but for everyone. so i think it’s only natural that she’d apply this to everyone she interacts with. based on these standards, there are probably very few people she respects, which is why it’s so significant when she does. probably just hotch, emily, and morgan. blake eventually. tara also. but she thinks reid is weak. especially with the way he handles his experiences with his job, but bc she thinks her value judgment is the way the world just is, it aligns with the way others treat reid, too. like this is just another job qualification they make an exception for him bc of his intellect. same thing with garcia: her specialty makes her useful, even if she’s weak. she probably thinks of gideon and luke as soft, so even if she cares about them i doubt she respects them. and if she’s willing to think like this ab her loved ones, of course she’ll also apply it to the people they come across, even victims. they’re just.. weak. if they want to change that, just be strong! just break yourself down until you're able to handle it. until then.. you're just weak.

[i-dont-know-how-this-site-works]

do tony stans not get that the whole point of yelena is that she wants to be free? why the hell would she let an old ass talk to her let alone adopt her. she wants to have the life she didn’t have because of the red room. like did no one see how happy she was to get the vest? no way wild tony even get close to adopting her

(also that take is just weird as in general but sadly not the worse i’ve seen for her)

(Please keep in mind my points here might be a little bit far-fetched, but those are my subjective observations and you can see the whole thing differently. Also, if anything sounds clunky or unclear, then I am sorry. Not a native English speaker.)

I honestly think that they don't. They just see a young woman (important point! I will get to it later) that was abused and is traumatised by her past and it's like this light is going off in their brain- "If I headcanon my fave as a good parental figure that takes care of a vulnerable person, that means he is overall a good person and I can ignore the negative aspects of their personality".

Now, let's take a look at both Yelena and Nebula. Like you said, the whole point of Yelena is that she wants to break free of the Red Room, leave her past behind, forget the abuse she experienced at the hands of Dreikov and develop into being her own person, with agency and free will. Nebula on the other hand wants to break free from Thanos, leave her past behind, get revenge on her abusive POS adoptive papa and develop into being her own person, with agency and free will. Now you see how these two characters overlap and that their stories and circumstances are somewhat similar.

So knowing that Nebula was headcanoned (or even fanoned since a lot of people in this fandom adopted(hehe) this headcanon) as T0ny's adopted kid, it was fairly easy to predict that Yelena was going to get the same treatment.

Alas!

There is another young woman in this universe that is a) young and b)traumatised.

There is a difference between the three though. You see, taking care of someone who hates your guts might pose a bit of a challenge. Wanda did not get infantilised and "adopted" into the stork family because she is antagonistic towards the stans' object of admiration. The very first thing we learn about her in AoU is that she hates the dude (bless her heart) and sticks the middle finger to him in the first like, 5 minutes of this finest Whedon Mess-Fest™. She also reminds everyone of T0ny's past mistakes and I guess it hurts??

Both Yelena and Nebula started out either not knowing T0ny even existed or he never affected them personally. Which might also be why they seem adamant on lumping Shuri in with these women.

Shuri has never interacted with T0ny and as far as I remember, she also never even mentioned him. So, again, no bad relation/memories/whatever to spoil the headcanon. However, she is different from the women mentioned above- no tragic or abusive backstory (I think at least), supportive ALIVE family and a teenager, a person actually in need of guidance and oversight, as opposed to a woman approaching her 30s. Along with the other teenagers that have ALIVE family members like Peter and Harley.

So, two categories of "kids"- adult people in their 20s with issues and teens.

Adult people in their 20s with issues, huh?

Steve and Thor are definitely not welcome into the adopted child circle, even though they are young and they have issues. So adoptable *snorts*. And yes, I know, they are technically way older than T0ny, but mentally and physically they are in their mid-twenties when they meet him. So, what gives?

Ahh right! How could I forget! They are men. All the people in the first "category" are women.

Take away what you will from this.

Alas^2!

So far, we have 5 "kids"- Nebula, Yelena, Harley, Peter and Shuri. However, as my staunchly Christian auntie from a catholic-alcoholic denomination always says, the more kids, the merrier! Ho ho ho! Let's throw some bio kids under the tree too!

But wait a minute, Mr. Santa. Bio children? No one wants to play with those!

So, I noticed that T0ny stans always put Morgan on the backburner, rarely if ever mention Vision (technically not bio, but you know what I mean) and totally forget Ultron, although with Ultron I get the sentiment, if my child turned genocidal I would want to forget about them too.

And again, far-fetched, but I think what is happening here is that well, if you decide to have a kid, you kind of have an obligation to take care of them, but when you decide to take a completely unrelated person under your wing and tutelage and guidance and care, it's like, looked upon as honorable, I guess???? I mean, take a look at other characters that assume a parental role over an unrelated child. Din Djarin, Hunter, Kanan, Obi-Wan, hell, even Anakin can squeeze in there. They are darlings of the SW fandom, mostly because of the Raw Daddy Energy™

Also, Found Family fecking slaps and is regarded by many as the tastiest snack out there, but with bio kids you can't really "find" them, you DIY them into existance.

To sum it all up: This whole thing flew off the rails faster than my future plans do and I feel like I made some pretty moot points, but that's how I would explain this strange addiction of t0ny stans.

Also, anon, sorry if that's not the answer you were expecting, but I felt like your ask was a perfect jumping point to make this post, since I've been thinking about the whole "kid adopting" thing for a few days now.

[strangeandforlornbooks]

best books with morally ambiguous narrators!

all y’all’s problematic faves and villains! :) also included are third person narrators but in books with morally ambiguous leads/themes 

Sci-fi

Scythe by Neal Shusterman: in a future free from pain, disease, and war, people can live forever. ‘scythes’ are given the power to decide who lives and who dies to preserve the balance. sad and kinda gives of hunger games vibes, if you like that.

Neuromancer by William Gibson: basically invented the cyberpunk genre. strange and removed protagonists. (a team of computer hackers have to face off against an evil AI). you kind of dislike everyone and suddenly you’re crying over them. one of those trippy sci-fi classics.

The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut: very beautiful and very very sad (same author as slaughterhouse five). the richest man in america has to face a martian invasion. more about free will and bad people doing good things than a plot that makes any kind of sense.

The Man in the High Castle by Philip K Dick: set in an alternate universe where the germans and japanese won world war two. not really like the tv show at all- it’s not an action story, and there’s not really the hope to somehow fix the world that drives a lot of dystopia stories. instead its about how people survive and connect to one another in a hopeless society.

The Scorpion Rules by Erin Bow: a supercomputer convinces the leaders of the world to keep the peace for hundreds of years by taking their children hostage and obliterating any city that disobeys. what happens to the hostage protagonists when war seems inevitable? lots of morally fraught decisions and characters slowly losing their identity. (plus a fun lesbian romance)

Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson: a brilliant mathematician and a dedicated marine fight to keep the ultra secret in world war two. fifty years later,  a tech company discovers what remains of their story. one of the most memorable sequences in the book is a japanese soldier slowly becoming disillusioned with his nation and horrified by the war even as he continues to fight.

Blade Runner by Philip K. Dick: another one of those sci-fi classics that’s not at all like the movie. there is a bounty hunter for robots, though, as well as a weird religion that probably is referencing catholicism and a decaying society with a shortage of pets. kind of a trip.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power: girls trapped in a boarding school on an isolated island must face a creeping rot that affects the animals and plants on the island as well as their own bodies. the protagonists will do anything to survive and keep each other safe. very tense (and bonus lesbian romance whoo)

The Fifth Season by N K Jemisin: three women are gifted with the ability to control the earth’s energy in a world where those who can do so are forced into hiding or slavery. some veryyyy dark choices here but lots of strong female characters.

Historical Fiction

Fingersmith by Sarah Waters: two victorian lesbians fall in love as they plot to betray each other in horrific ways. lots of plot twists, plucky thieves, gothic settings, and a great romance.

Quo Vadis by Henryk Sienkiwicz: a powerful roman soldier in the time of Nero plots to kidnap a young woman after he falls in love with her, only to learn more about the mysterious christian religion she follows. very melodramatic but some terrific prose. 

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr: a blind girl in France and a brilliant German boy recruited by the military struggle through the chaos of the second world war. ends with a bang (iykyk.) very sad, reads like poetry.

Boxers by Gene Luen Yang: graphic novel reveals the story of a young boy fighting in the boxer rebellion in early twentieth century china. the sequel, saints, is also excellent. beautifully and sympathetically shows the protagonist’s descent into evil- the reader really understands each step along the way.

Fantasy

Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake: three triplets separated at birth, each with their own magical powers, have to fight to the death to gain the throne. lots of fun honestly

Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo: everyone in these books is highly problematic but you love them all anyway. a ragtag game of criminals plan a heist on a magical fortress. some terrific tragic back stories, repressed feelings, and revenge schemes.

The Dark Tower series by Stephen King: idk how to describe these frankly but if you can put up with King’s appalling writing of female characters they’re pretty interesting. fantasy epic about saving the world/universe, sort of. cowboys and prophecies and overlapping dimensions and drug addicts galore.

The Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud: lots of fun! a twelve year old decides to summon a demon for his cute lil revenge scheme. sarcastic demon narrator. lighthearted until s*** gets real suddenly.

Elegy and Swansong by Vale Aida: fantasy epic with machiavellian lesbians and enemies to lovers to enemies to ??? to lovers. charming and exciting and lovely characters.

The False Prince by Jennifer Nielsen: an orphan boy must compete with a few others for the chance to impersonate a dead prince. really dark but very tense and exciting and good twists.

The Grace of Kings by Ken Liu: fantasy epic. heroes overthrow an evil empire and then struggle as the revolution dissolves into warring factions. interesting world building and three dimensional characters, even if they only have a small part.

Circe by Madeline Miller: the story behind the witch who turns men into pigs in the odyssey. madeline miller really said, i just used my classics degree to write a beautiful gay love story and now im going to write a powerful feminist retelling because i can. queen. an amazing and satisfying book that kills me a lil bit because of the two lines referencing the song of achilles.

Heartless by Marissa Meyer: the tragic backstory for the queen of hearts in alice in wonderland. a little predictable but very fun with a compelling protagonist

A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones) by George RR Martin: ok I know we all hate GRRM and rightfully so but admittedly these books do have some great characters and great scenes. they deserve better than GRRM though. also he will probably never finish the books anyway....

A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket: not really fantasy but not really anything else either. plucky, intelligent, and kind children fight off evil plots for thirteen books until suddenly you realize the world is not nearly as black and white as you thought. 

Classics

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier: gothic romance!! a new wife is curious about the mysterious death of her predecessor in a creepy old house in the British countryside...good twists and lovely prose.

A Separate Peace by John Knowles: not really morally ambiguous but one awful decision suddenly has awful consequences and certain people are haunted by guilt forever.... really really really beautiful and really really really sad. boys in a boarding school grow up together under the shadow of world war two.

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy: while imperial russia slowly decays a beautiful young woman begins a destructive affair. a long book. very russian. the ending is incredibly tense and well written.

Lord of the Flies by William Golding: I think you know the plot to this one. the prose is better than you remember and the last scene is always exciting.

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie: one by one, the guests on an island are slowly picked off. one of Christie’s darkest mysteries- no happy ending here! very tense and great twists.

Contemporary

The Secret History by Donna Tartt: inspired the whole dark academia aesthetic. college students get a little too into ancient greece and it does not end very well. lovely prose but I found the characters unlikable.

Honorable Mentions

The Dublin Saga by Edward Rutherford: has literally a billion protagonists, but some of them are morally ambiguous ig? follows a few families stories’ from the 400s ad to irish independence in the 20s. beautifully captures the weight and movement of irish history.

Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer: how morally ambiguous can you be if you’re, like, eleven? a lot if you’re a criminal genius who wants to kidnap a fairy for your evil-ish plan apparently!

Redemption by Leon Uris: literally my favorite novel ever. the sequel to Trinity but can stand alone. various irish families struggle through the horrors of world war one. the hero isn’t really morally ambiguous, but the main theme of the novel is extremely bad people suddenly questioning their choices and eventually redeeming themselves. sweeping themes of love, screwed up families, redemption, and patriotism.

The Lymond Chronicles and House of Niccolo by Dorothy Dunnett: heroes redeem themselves/try to get rich/try to save their country in early renaissance Europe. if I actually knew what happened in these books I'm sure it would be morally ambiguous but its too confusing for me. in each book you spend at least a third convinced the protagonist is evil, though. lots of exciting sword fights, tragic romances, plot twists, and kicking english butt.

Bonus: Protagonist is less morally ambiguous and more very screwed up and sad all the time

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt: you know this one bc its quoted in all those quote compilations. basically the story of how one horrible event traumatizes a young man and how he develops a connection to a painting. really really really good.

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro: hard to describe but strange... not an action novel or a dystopia really but sort of along those lines. very hopeless.

[djemsostylist]

An Arthurian Film Adventure, Part 3: Lancelot

Today, we are tackling Lancelot.  Arguably the most famous knight of the Round Table (besides Gawain), the story of Lancelot and King Arthur and Queen Guinevere is a timeless one.  Forbidden love, broken friendships, civil war, downfall of a kingdom.  Plus, he’s great with a lance.  Throw in a child who achieves the Grail Quest, and you’ve got yourself a pretty great story, and a pretty easy character too, right?  

Nope, wrong again.  Firstly, because he doesn’t even exist in one of them, and secondly because he fucking sucks in the other ones. 

I should point out, before I begin, that there are several versions of Lancelot which exist.  Depending on whether you go with de Troyes, Malory, Vulgate, or Post Vulgate, you get some different characters.  Universally he is kind and brave and selfless, devoted to Arthur but also damned by a love for Guinevere.  He also can be prideful, angry, a touch selfish, and ultimately fails at achieving the Grail Quest.  Anyway, onto the ratings!

1. Knights of the Round Table

This Lancelot is, by far, the best Lancelot.  Here, Lancelot follows the post Vulgate version (he is just a wandering knight who wants to join the Round Table, rather than having grown up with the Lady of the Lake).  He is sort of the ultimate knight--kind, brave, selfless, great with a lance or sword.  He and Arthur get along immediately, forming a fast friendship built on mutual respect, understanding, and trust.  Lancelot is brave and selfless and kind, but he is also an individual with his own wants, needs and desires.  He can be prideful and arrogant, but he is fiercely loyal.  

Here, Lancelot is close friends not only with Arthur and Guinevere, but also Gawain, Gareth and Percival, the latter of whom he takes under his wing.  He and Arthur quarrel and reconcile, he goes knight erranting (is this a verb?) and lives in the castle Joyous Guard.  He also marries Elaine, whom he loves in his own way, and fathers Galahad.  Here, his love for Guinevere is acknowledged and central, though never consummated, but it is his connection with Arthur and the other knights of the Round Table which sustain his story.  

The downfall here is tragic, both because though he and Guinevere love each other, they have not actually committed treason, and because his estrangement from Arthur leads to an actual splintering of the Round Table.  Also, he has a horse named Beric that he loves a lot, his relationship with Elaine is honestly really sweet and sad, and he also wears beautiful surcoats and has a huge red feather on his helm. 

Attractiveness: Honestly number 1 easily.  He has some slightly weird facial hair, and he’s not big enough, but he’s hot.  (Fun fact, Robert Taylor also played Ivanhoe in the single best Ivanhoe of all time, so).  

2. Camelot

So, this Lancelot is pretty good.  My main problem here is that this Lancelot is more Galahad than Lancelot, in that he is super pure almost the point of ridiculousness.  Like, he is so pure his purity actually brings a man back from the dead, which could be the whole “healing of Sir Urry thing” but is mostly just strange.  Here, we get a post-Vulgate Lancelot backstory (he is supposed to be French is this version but he is played by the most Italian Italian I have ever seen and it’s great).  He and Arthur meet and are super close almost right away (“did we just become best friends?!”) but surprisingly and refreshingly, Guinevere is actually deeply annoyed by him when they first meet.  (She has been going a-maying and Arthur shows up and she just wants to fuck him but he just wants her to meet his new best friend, and she is like, wow ur friend is deeply lame, come have sex with me instead pls.)  She eventually falls in love with him when he cures a dead man from death, and then what follows is a tragic love story of friends who are sort of stuck in this terrible situation and just trying to make the best of it.  

The downfall here is that Lancelot has literally no other friends at court, so while his betrayal is tragic for him and Arthur and Guinevere (like in the 1953 version, he and Guinevere never actually commit treason), it doesn’t really affect any other friendships or relationships.  He also doesn’t ever get married or have a baby here, and his purity can be grating, though the earnestness offsets it well enough.

Attractiveness: Number 2 tbh, but mostly because he is so damn earnest it’s endearing.  Also he wears beautiful armor.  

3. King Arthur

So, this Lancelot is from Sarmatia, which is both weird and never really explained.  Also, he is neither Arthur’s best knight or actually even a knight at all.  He doesn’t have a relationship with Guinevere other than throwing what I assume are supposed to be longing looks in her direction (tbf Arthur didn’t have a relationship with Guinevere in this movie either beyond aborted heavy petting).  He also doesn’t bring about the downfall of Arthur’s kingdom, mostly because Arthur doesn’t have a kingdom.  He also doesn’t have a son who goes on the quest for the Holy Grail, but that is mostly because this Arthur isn’t Christian and neither are his knights.  Also, he fights with two swords and there are no lances in sight, which is a weird thing for Lancelot, since riding around and knocking people off horses is like, literally his favorite thing in the world.  

Attractiveness: Number 3, mostly because I know they tried to make him hot here with the mop of curly hair and etc, but he will also be Mr. Fantastic to me, and Mr. Fantastic was honestly the worst.  

4. First Knight

The thing is, Richard Gere should be last, except that Excalibur Lancelot was literally the dumbest person alive ever, so I guess that means since Richard Gere wasn’t literally just living in the forest stabbing himself with his own sword, he sucks less.  (Look, I said this was a rough journey.)  This Lancelot is just terrible honestly.  Firstly, he’s not a knight, he’s just some dude who rides around hitting people with his sword.  He meets Arthur when he helps rescue Guinevere who is on her way to marry her dad’s old friend bc he is old and sad and lonely.  His introduction to Arthur comes during a tournament.  And by tournament, I mean an extremely 90s, wacky, American Gladiator style wooden obstacle course thing that involves swinging knife things, swinging wood things, and just...it’s bad.  

He doesn’t want to be a knight, mostly because he thinks Arthur’s knights are boring squares (he is not wrong, but I hate him so-).  He agrees only after he saves Guinevere from Melegraunce, which involves more wacky obstacle courses and swinging bridges.  Also, he and Guinevere here give Arthur the horns, and also both suck.  He doesn’t learn anything, he is genuinely terrible, and also he is played by Richard Gere.  

Attractiveness: I’m gonna say last, mostly because his whole 90sness just irritated me and also because he was very moist through this whole movie and also I hated him a lot.

5. Excalibur

Look, this Lancelot was like, literally actually stupid.  He showed up, tried to beat up Arthur and failed, then went to live in the woods.  No like, he literally lived in the woods.  He would tell Arthur he was leaving Camelot to go adventuring or whatever, ride six feet out into the forest, strip naked, and sleep in the roots of a tree.  Also, he for some reason not only slept completely naked, but he also didn’t keep his sword in his scabbard so one night he rolled over and stabbed himself clear through the side.  Also, he and Guinevere had sex is his tree thing, and I saw way too much of his side ass.  I was honestly rooting for Gawain to kill him, and I didn’t even like this Gawain bc he was genuinely awful. 

Attractiveness: I mean, better than Richard Gere.  But, and I know I have said this before, I cannot express how ugly this movie was.  

6. Legend of the Sword

This one was easy to rank, because he did not exist.  This was an origin story, and Lancelot isn’t really a part of Arthur’s origin story so I guess we can give them a pass, except that I love Lancelot so this was a tragedy to me.  On the positive side, his lack of existence means that he can’t be worse than Richard Gere, so I guess I should rank this nonexistent Lancelot in like, 3rd place.

Part 2: The Arthurs

[the-trashy-phoenix]

Supernatural season 3 review (part 2)

We already finished the third season of Supernatural and, as I remembered from when I first watched it, I like it more than the other two. It probably has to do with the fact that, as the first seasons go on, my love for the characters grows, but I also believe that the main topic of this season is what gets me more engaged (even if in this case I already knew what happened, and even if I had already guessed it during the first time I've watched it, since it was very unlikely that one of the two protagonists would have permanently died in season 3). The repercussions of the deal Dean made with a demon in the previous season are faced in this one and I feel like this is the first season that kinda revolves around Dean more than it does with Sam. He has to come with the terms of his new fate, meanwhile his brother's status is the most normal it's ever been, since his psychics powers seem to have disappeared, even though he’s obviously affected by his brother’s destiny too. Along with this problem the two have to fight against new demons who came out of the door of hell at the end of season 2. We meet an important new character who also appears to be a demon, Ruby. Her and Sam initiate a strange relationship mainly because Ruby tells him she knows how to save Dean from his fate (even though we don't really understand her true intentions behind that willingness to help). Sam starts to trust her pretty quickly, but Dean has very different opinions on her: he doesn’t want the demon around, doesn’t trust her and would be way happier if she was dead. This leads to several discussions between the brothers on how to save Dean and if they can trust Ruby. I don't really know how to feel about her, I like the fact that she's a badass and that she seems to genuinely care about Sam, but it's very hard to tell if her intentions are good or not (and, I mean, I already know how this ends in season 4).

The main problem the brothers have with each other is the fact they’re not on the same page: Sam wants to save Dean from hell, but Dean doesn't, because he knows if he finds a way to avoid hell his brother would die. Sam on the other hand does not accept this and wants to try everything he can to save his brother. I honestly understand both of them, this situation is hard and they always put each other first, which is the main defect of their relationship, I believe, along with their, at this point evident, codependency. They can't live without the other, and that's what causes Dean to make the deal with the demon and Sam to despair and try to find a way out of this mess. I obviously don't blame Sam for wanting his brother to stay alive so bad, after all he's the most important person to him: Dean basically raises his little brother, Sam sees him as a landmark and can't go on without him. It's pretty clear he's hurt by the situation, we see him broken throughout the entire season (I think that was the saddest part). There's episode 03x08, the Christmas one, where, meanwhile Dean seems happy about this time of the year more than he's ever been, Sam doesn't want to celebrate Christmas because he knows it would be the last one with his brother; Dean would like to celebrate it properly for this reason, so Sam makes him happy decorating the motel for the festivity. I liked that moment a lot, it was sincere and touching, and it showed how much they love each other.

We find out later in the season that another reason why Dean doesn't want Sam's help is because he doesn't think he deserves it. In episode 03x10 he talks to himself in one of his dreams and we can see the dream-Dean has clearly very low values of the other Dean and thinks he would not be very useful or wanted alive, his brother would be better without him, so he can easily be forgotten in hell, as he's just a "good soldier, nothing else, daddy's blunt little instrument". I feel like these are all Dean's insecurities (even if he rationally thinks this is not true), that make him believe he kinda deserves to go to hell, because he's not someone who could be saved, there's nothing special about him (we'll see in season 4…). Despite his insecurities Dean faces off his dream version by contradicting him ("My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me about protecting Sam, that was his crap. He's the one that couldn't protect his family! He's the one who let mom die! Who wasn't there for Sam, I always was! It wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me, and I don't deserve to go to Hell!") and finally admits that his dad was the main cause of all the consequences that brought him there and that he doesn't deserve to go to hell. I always loved that moment, because Dean has always been the one who would defend his father no matter what, so for him to say he made some big mistakes is a big step towards his freedom from his father (although he can still be pretty blind when it comes to John, and it's clear in episode 03x14, where it seems to be possible to talk to dead people through phone and Dean is been called by his dad who wants to help him to avoid hell, and Sam is pretty hurt by the fact that Dean would still follow their dad's order way more easily than his).

So, after a while, Dean finally admits to his brother that he's scared to go to hell and that he doesn't want to end up there, which takes them to try and find ways to solve this problem together on the same page for the first time since Dean has made the deal.

We discover the demon who holds the deal is Lilith, a way more powerful demon than the ones the brothers have already fought. She's the main antagonist of the season, but she's not really in the spot (just in a couple of episodes), as she's introduced by Ruby and other demons first. She makes an appearance in episode 03x12, the one where Sam and Dean are arrested again by the police and where they finally can show what they do for a living to Henricksen, the man who tried to catch them since season two (finally coming to a sort of an end for this sequence of problems revolving the law).

Lilith, shortly after the brothers have left the police station, arrives and kills everyone who's there, already showing how powerful she is. Although she's the cause of the brothers' problems in this season, we don't see a lot of her, so her character is not entirely developed (the only evident thing is that she's evil and creepy, especially in the last episode) and we don't even know her purpose. Like with Azazel, the antagonist in the first two seasons, the brothers don't defeat her in just one season, so we already imagine she'll be in the next one, maybe along with multiple gradients and hidden sides she's not shown yet.

There's another important character who's introduced in this season, Bela, introduced in episode 03x03 (a funny one which gives us awesome moments, "I'm Batman"). She seems strong, kinda evil and brutal, but it's clear there's more of her we don't know about. I liked her dynamic with the brothers, especially with Dean (although there's a very weird scene in episode 03x10, in which Sam has a erotic dream about her, pretty out of nowhere if you ask me, although I found it funny). The problem with Bela, and with women in general in Supernatural (see Jo, who's nowhere to be found in this season), is that they lack of depth (due to the fact they are in just a few episodes and they get killed pretty quickly). Is it because the writers can't create a good female character, that can be badass and not just a romantic side for one of the brothers, for misogyny or because the fans can't handle an important female character? We may never know it I guess… I would have liked to see more of her, because with all we've got at the end she seemed a total bitch, but her backstory was not totally clear, so the writers could have developed her in a way more interesting than they did.

Speaking of women, in episode 03x02 is introduced Lisa, a girl Dean already has had a sort of relationship with nine years before and who he wants to meet again. He finds out things have changed a lot and she has a child, called Ben, who's eight years old, so he immediately thinks he's his (also because they're very similar). We later find out Ben is not Dean's child and, surprisingly, Dean seems pretty upset about it (showing even more his true desire to stop with the hunting life and settle down with someone). I loved this episode both because of the terrifying situation the poor mothers had to deal with (finding out their children are not really them but creepy monsters) and because of Dean's relationship with Lisa and mostly Ben (especially knowing that that's not the last time we'll see these two).

I also want to mention Bobby, who at this point has become the third main character of Supernatural, and I couldn't love it more, since he's an amazing father figure for the brothers and a great character himself.

There's another character who we've already seen in the second season and who has brought to the season the strangest episode: the trickster. He manages to do it in this season too, and I'm extremely grateful to him for it, because I love this episode a lot. The way Sam is so annoyed by the fact he has to relive the same day multiple times always makes me laugh a lot (mostly because of the desperate faces he makes and the fact he already knows what Dean is about to say and what is about to happen). This episode is not just funny, but also a bit tragic and revealing, since Dean has to die everyday in front of his brother until the trickster stops the time loop and kills Dean "permanently" (for about six months) and we see how Sam is totally broken (an anticipation of the next season).

The great thing about this season is that we genuinely don't know what the brothers are gonna do to save Dean and don't even know if he will be saved. Season 3 is shorter than the others and this is what causes Dean (and Supernatural too) to have an entire different fate. Indeed this season was supposed to end with Sam saving Dean from ending up in hell, but since it's shorter the writers couldn't make the protagonists find a solution, and that's what makes Dean go to hell, which if you watch it for the first time can be unexpected. But if you, like me, have already watched the entire show then you know this is the greatest thing it could have happened * sighs dramatically *.

- Carly 💚

[july-19th-club]

legends but d&d

Rip: the DM, initially. did his best to create a well-rounded premise with simple rules and a decent first-round villain, then watched as his players careened quickly, gleefully, and inexorably off the rails. still having fun but becoming exasperated. has resorted to increasingly firm means to keep them in any sort of continuity, and following some basic semblance of "plot."

Sara: wanted to be a ranger, or a fighter, so she did both and crafted the token Revenge Character(TM) of the group but is too essentially fun-loving to get super grim about it. endlessly seeking retribution, sweet flips, and cute girls. oh my god, she's a Burnsides. has elected herself de facto decision maker in-game, and the table respects that. can de-escalate fights when necessary.

Ray: the guy who already knows ALL of the rules and won't hesitate to remind you about that fact. whether you wanted him to or not. plays a paladin and it's a little too on the nose, but also the person who brings snacks most regularly to sessions, and unflaggingly encourages the other players' hard work and good rolls. bit of a cheerleader but that's his best quality.

Leonard: made a Very Cool Rogue Guy and was determined to play neutral-to-neutral evil. somewhere along the way wound up firmly in neutral good territory. character got killed off at the end of the first big battle but he wanted to stay in the game, so now he just brings in what's essentially the same guy but "this time it's him from the past" or "this is his...identical double, glen, uh, smart, from...uh, from another universe...where he's gay.." does great over-the-top character voices.

Kendra: said she'd play for a few sessions only and stuck to that promise. creates a solid character with good emotional grounding and a strong backstory, and weaves it into the campaign creatively and professionally. could have done more with it if she'd stuck around, but strangely, once she's left the group can't really remember what she used to contribute. carter? well, he was always kind of an NPC at heart.

Amaya: creates a brilliant, moral warlock character, lawful good, with a firm purpose and plenty of depth. makes the mistake of agreeing to play a romance with another PC and super regrets it because now it's beginning to affect her actual stated goals and get in the way of her enjoyment of the game. good at breaking up arguments and getting the brainstorming rolling; not so much at the actual roleplay. eventually drags charlie along and watches proudly as she wreaks havoc on the party.

Mick: the dude who's basically just playing himself, but a barbarian this time instead of a guy who sits in a living room twice a month and eats very loud snacks at the table. found to his surprise that he was a better storyteller than anyone anticipated (even considering his frequent vocabulary mishaps) and is now many carefully typed pages deep into a tragic backstory involving the rogue and his own personal demons of the heart. kind of proud of himself if he's honest, and he should be.

Jax: brought his dad to the D&D group. has to keep stopping to explain the rules to his dad, and is trying not to resent this (he was the one who made the decision, after all). they build their character together and share custody over his actions, which leads to some contention when the ball really gets rolling. impatient and eager to make the magic happen; as a result gets ambushed frequently.

Stein: the dad that got brought to the D&D group. catches on quickly but pretends that he doesn't so that he can have an excuse for zoning out during the boring bits. always the player who's turned to for double-checking on plans, thinking through investigations, and searching through the rulebook and reading off the results in a Serious Academic Tone to settle disputes. keeps the atmosphere civil.

Ava: here because her girlfriend said 'you'll LOVE it come on PLEASE join our group.' she does NOT know if she loves it. she's often uncomfortable and feels the panic of public speaking every time she's asked to roleplay but eventually grows a little more at ease with the concept. didn't really know what to do about character building so it's basically a clone of herself but with a sword this time.

John: shows up to every session claiming he has WAY better things to be doing than sit around playing D&D with these plebes. comes religiously to every single meeting anyway. insisted on introducing his own homebrewed adjustments to the magic system so as to make it quote-unquote More Realistic(TM). leaves for a smoke break whenever he thinks things are getting a little boring. absolutely refuses to do character voices no matter how much anyone begs.

Zari: never was much of a one for fantasy before, having sat firmly on the sci-fi line of the nerd circle in the past. now plays a wizard whose powers are entirely technology-based, which makes things interesting since they're in a pre-industrial world more often than not. finds that fake fights in D&D are a great frustration outlet. double-classed into a paladin whose powers reflect her real-world faith, but her most important role? is as my girlfriend.

Nate: starts out as everybody's least favorite player but gets much better at building his character once he's not too distracted by his crush to focus on the game. finds a nice balance between 'fighter' and 'scholar' and is good at guiding the party through traps and puzzles. draws everyone detailed, beautiful illustrations of their characters, and is the only person who genuinely enjoys Ray's morals rants.

Charlie: dragged to the group by Amaya and subscribes to her own complex idea of what, exactly, a D&D game IS. plays a bard who is a punk rocker and decides almost immediately that her character needs to have specific, individual beef with all the other party members. enjoys getting missions off-track for mischief reasons and therefore pretty good at getting the group engaged again when enthusiasm is starting to flag.

Gary: took over as DM after Rip left to enjoy more time with his remaining brain cells. Mick was the interim DM, but being a good writer doesn’t always mean you’ll be a good games master so the story was in a really weird place by the time ol gare-bear got there. Quickly developed a bad habit of inventing monsters whose sole purpose is to punish the players for annoying him, but in his defense they SO often deserve it. Against all odds he is still putting up with them (they think THEY are putting up with HIM).

[forestwater87]

Underrated Characters Appreciation Weeks I’m too lazy to set up....

...but I’m proud of myself for having created. So if y’all wanna adopt any of these, you can go wild (please tag me though! I wanna see them!). Otherwise, shower me with praise.

(They’re very writing-heavy and often just a list of questions, so if you borrow anything feel free to tweak as suits your inspiration; the questions/suggestions are really just to get people thinking!)

I’m gonna put them below the cut so it doesn’t get too long, but you have to look forward to:

Jasper Appreciation Week

Cameron Campbell Appreciation Week

Gwen Appreciation Week

Bonquisha Appreciation Week

Dirty Kevin Appreciation Week

QM Appreciation Week

Other Secondary Characters Appreciation Week

Elevated Extras Appreciation Week

Nerris Appreciation Week

Space Kid Appreciation Week

Ered Appreciation Week

Harrison Appreciation Week

Dolph Appreciation Week

Nikki Appreciation Week

Preston Appreciation Week

Nurf Appreciation Week

Flower Scouts Appreciation Week

Woodscouts Appreciation Week

Jasper Appreciation Week

Who doesn’t love this good good ghost boy?

Day 1: 90s Kid -- Depict Jasper doing something radical.

Day 2: Jasper’s Camp -- Show off Jasper’s time as Camp Campbell’s golden boy.

Day 3: David -- It’s the only character he has a real canon relationship with . . .

Day 4: Life After Death -- What does he do with himself on that there island all day?

Day 5: All Grown Up -- We’ve all thought about it.

Day 6: Best Friend to Campers -- Pick a non-David character and develop his relationship with them.

Day 7: Spookily Ever After -- How does Jasper’s story end? On Spooky Island forever? Leaving this realm? Becoming the camp’s new mascot? Or was he somehow alive the whole time? Let your imagination go wild!

Cameron Campbell Appreciation Week

He’s sleazy. He’s morally bankrupt. He’s everyone’s favorite non-blonde-twink villain!

Day 1: Shady Business Dealings -- What’s Campbell up to when he’s not at camp? What does he want with Camp Campbell? Was that Nazi gold in his vault? Something’s fishy here, and I’m curious what everyone thinks is going on.

Day 2: Mysterious Past -- How on earth does someone like Campbell happen, anyway? This could be stuff about his childhood, how he got into . . . whatever illegal nonsense he’s up to, how he met QM, even how he got away with not getting in trouble for what happened to Jasper.

Day 3: Spooky Island -- Seriously, what on earth was going on in that house? Focus on the coolest/creepiest thing in there and go nuts.

Day 4: Fears & Other Random Headcanons -- Basically your Free Space day.

Day 5: Boss Man -- Focusing specifically on his relationships with the counselors.

Day 6: (Relation)Ships -- Yeah, yeah, gotta have it somewhere. This one is pretty open to interpretation, and should be considered platonic or not. Just depict the most interesting/fun relationship you think Campbell has. Is that cold black heart even capable of affection, anyway? (If you think he’s a foxy grandpa, go wild today.)

Day 7: What Happens Next? -- Is he gonna ever leave that cave? Team up with Daniel? Gone for good? What’s up ahead for the most notorious criminal who’s ever run a summer camp?

Gwen Appreciation Week

I mean, come on. You knew I was gonna do it.

Day 1: Background -- There are a lot of interesting headcanons about Gwen’s backstory, cultural heritage, etc. City girl or country bumpkin, Latina or African-American or rich or poor or college dropout or whatever, pick what you think is the most interesting headcanon for Gwen (something that’s related to her time before the show, that is) and go nuts.

Day 2: Favorite Camper -- Pick one of the kiddos and have them bond with their grumpiest caregiver.

Day 3: All Dolled Up -- She’s always in that counselor uniform. What does she look like outside of camp?

Day 4: Ships -- Obviously.

Day 5: That Tragic Plot Twist -- If you have an idea what makes Gwen such a grumpy disaster of panic and unemployment -- or just want to have fun making things unnecessarily dark for such a lighthearted cartoon which I know you do; I’ve read the fanfiction -- it’s time to unleash the angst.

Day 6: Anywhere Else -- AUs! AUs in all directions! Gwen doesn’t want to be at camp, so let’s plop her into another world where she might be happier . . . or might not be.

Day 7: A Campbell Camper? Whether you think Gwen was one of the kids who grew up at Camp Campbell or not, I think we’d all agree it’d be fun to imagine.

Bonquisha Appreciation Week

Because she deserves it and will probably kill you if you don’t appreciate her enough. 

Day 1: Those Wild Shirts -- Draw her in another fantastic outfit, or speculate where her amazing fashion sense (and vanity plates) came from. She has a filthy mouth and a whole lotta confidence, and the first day of this week is to celebrate that!

Day 2: Home Sweet Trailer -- Put her in her house on 69 Dirt Rd. and think about what kinds of things a girl like Bon would call home.

Day 3: Dog -- She has one. Tell us about it!

Day 4: Work/Hometown HCs -- What does someone even do in a town that small? Whether you think she’s a waitress alongside that cute pink-haired gal, or if she lives out of town and drove up to see David, ponder a little bit of what Bonquisha does in or around Sleepy Peak and show it to us.

Day 5: Bonvid -- How did that relationship with David crash and burn so hard, anyway? And what does it look like after that episode?

Day 6: Other Relationships -- Bonquisha vs. Tabii, or Gwenquisha, or bffs with Dirty Kevin, or any sort of connection you’d like to expand upon or forge between Bon-Bon and another character in the show. Hell, draw her and Jacob if you think that’s cute; it’s canon, after all.

Day 7: Muscles to Die For -- She’s big and beautiful and could absolutely murder everyone. Let’s just spend out last day appreciating how very much of a badass Bonquisha is.

Dirty Kevin Appreciation Week

The very goodest alternative Den Mother there ever was.

Day 1: Probably a Real Brat -- What was he like as a kid or teenager?

Day 2: Drugs & More Drugs -- Show us Kevin hard at work or tell us how he got into this crazy business.

Day 3: That Red Hoodie -- It’s kind of his trademark, and this is a day to appreciate it.

Day 4: From Sleepy Peak to Mexico -- Take your favorite part from Kevin’s debut appearance and do something fun with it.

Day 5: Den Mommy -- We’ve all thought about Dirty Kevin as a Flower Scout mother, and if you haven’t, you’re lying.

Day 6: Cleaned Up -- Get him a nice facial grooming and some good clothes, and you could have a handsome gentleman right there. What on earth would that look like? 

Day 7:  Not Such a Lone Wolf -- Whether you have an OTP or just love the idea of Kevin being friends with certain characters, show us who you think he has a soft spot for.

QM Appreciation Week

Listen, we’re all a little afraid of him, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve the spotlight for a bit. Even if we know he’ll probably do unspeakable things in and to that spotlight.

Day 1: God or Just Crazy? Whether it’s his apparent inability to age or how he can magically find little woodland paradises in the middle of the camp, there’s a lot of weird going on there. Celebrate the man who may or may not be a murderer and may or may not actually be a literal deity and all his strange, often supernatural weirdness.

Day 2: Hook -- Hey, how’d he lose that hand?

Day 3: Man vs. Squirrels -- He has a blood feud with many woodland creatures.

Day 4: QM Store -- There’s a lot of wacky stuff in there. What did you like best, or what do you think was hidden in the corners that we didn’t get to see?

Day 5: Bonding -- QM’s been there for a long (long long long) time, and he’s clearly known Campbell and David at least for years. Pick a character and explore what their relationship with the Quartermaster might be like.

Day 6: Tontine -- So what on earth was going on there?

Day 7: Camp Specter -- Regardless of how you approached Day 1, the fact remains that for whatever reason, the Quartermaster is at Camp Campbell for good. You can speculate why he’s there or just show us him hard at work doing . . . whatever he does, but today I just wanna see our beloved QM lurking around the camp!

Other Secondary Characters Appreciation Week

To all those characters who hang out in the background, making the campers’ shenanigans more fun.

Day 1: Daniel -- I don’t consider him in any way under-appreciated, but he’s a pretty spectacular way to kick off Season 2, and also this week.

Day 2: Platypus -- Mother of six five four three two one lunch and terror of the camp.

Day 3: Cute Waitress -- Y’all sure do love her. Show your love!

Day 4: Jermy Fartz -- Oh yeah. I went there.

Day 5: Darla & Gregg -- How can anyone who isn’t David be that excited about camping? Were they totally secretly dating? Where are they now, and how did they get there?

Day 6: The Denizens of Sleepy Peak -- Whether your heart belongs to Lester, Fred, the old geezers, or any of the others populating the nearby town, it’s time to show them some love.

Day 7: Parents -- How else would we end this week but with some family bonding?

Elevated Extras Appreciation Week

They’re not as memorable as the secondary characters. They don’t even have lines. But they’re ours and we love them.

Day 1: Former Campbell Campers -- we see in the picture on David’s bulletin board that there were a lot of kids who used to come to the camp. Show or tell us about your favorite!

Day 2: Camp Counselor of the Year Judges -- What was up with those guys? Were they even human?

Day 3: Other Camps -- Lake Lilac is home to Teen Church Camp, Pirate Camp, and who knows how many others? Let’s enjoy them!

Day 4: Larry -- Poor, poor undeserving Larry. RIP, my fuzzy man.

Day 5: Scotty -- Visual comedy camp? Seriously?

Day 6: Chucky -- What happened to him anyway?

Day 7: Your choice! Think I forgot the most important one? Time to correct that mistake! (Listen, if you’re mad I didn’t include Jen, consider this the Jen space.)

Nerris Appreciation Week

Devoted to the real(?) magic kid.

Day 1: The Cute -- Artists, draw how cute she is! Writers, maybe think about how the nickname came about! Or do something completely different! I don’t care!

Day 2: Magic War -- Explore her relationship with Harrison.

Day 3: Elf-kin -- What does that even look like? What does it mean?

Day 4: Bonding with Mere Mortals -- The camp is full of people and animals. Pick one and play with their relationship with Nerris.

Day 5: Dice -- What do they look like? How did she get them?

Day 6: Fandom -- A girl that excited about fantasy has to be quite the fan of a lot of things. Show us her interacting with her favorite stuff.

Day 7: Her Party -- Her relationship with her slightly-clueless mother and extremely-geeky dad.

Space Kid Appreciation Week

The most obvious appreciation week in the entire world.

Day 1: Astronaut -- Whether you want to show him all grown up or as a little kid, give us a glimpse of what Neil the real-life spaceman would be like.

Day 2: Aliens -- Another type of spaceman.

Day 3: Fishbowl -- A day to just appreciate his adorable, impractical costume.

Day 4: Punching Bag -- He’s been pushed around and disregarded by Max, Nurf, Max, the counselors, various animals, and Max. This is a day dedicated to his unfortunate luck and indomitable good spirit.

Day 5: Sick -- After that trip he took across the lake to the moon, and barely surviving the flu zombies, Space Kid could probably use some patching up.

Day 6: Science Guys -- The two Neils, bonding.

Day 7: SPACE!!! -- Give us Space Kid interacting with his favorite hobby ever.

Ered Appreciation Week

A very very cool week.

Day 1: Skater -- Even on the camp’s awful cardboard halfpipe, Ered’s still a budding Tony Hawk.

Day 2: Dye -- Dedicated to her awesome -- dare we say cool? -- hair.

Day 3: Camp Kool Kidz -- Celebrate her short-lived tenure as the head of Camp Campbell.

Day 4: Extreme -- What other extreme sports does she like to get up to?

Day 5: Queen Bee -- Her relationship with one or more of the other campers.

Day 6: Wipeout -- She gets injured a lot, doesn’t she?

Day 7: Cool Gay FBI Dads -- They’re the most wholesome family that regularly gets into gunfights.

Harrison Appreciation Week

Devoted to the . . . real(?) magic kid? (Didn’t we already do this?)

Day 1: Harry’s Son -- His outfit is pure Vegas showman, his VA and accent seem to suggest Israeli descent, and he may or may not be a literal wizard. His parents are terrified of him, but his mom says he’ll grow into his looks. Give some backstory to this lovable kid and his love of illusions.

Day 2: Actual, Real, Terrifying Magic -- This kid isn’t messing around. From summoning fireballs to making both objects and living things appear and disappear, he has some serious supernatural chops.

Day 3: Apprenticeship -- He and Nikki’s relationship consists of equal parts mutual admiration and mayhem. What do the two of them get up to behind the scenes?

Day 4: Brother -- Time for theories (and angst, of course angst) about how and why he “made his brother disappear.” 

Day 5: Any Resemblance to Bill Cipher is Pure Coincidence -- . . . probably. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun to imagine that crossover!

Day 6: Frenemies -- Harrison has a habit of getting on people’s nerves. Pick at least one character and develop their relationship with the magic kid.

Day 7: Hufflepuff Pride -- Jordan Cwierz confirmed it! This last day is about celebrating all things yellow and black and (mostly) well-intentioned.

Dolph Appreciation Week

I know, he’s controversial. But he’s a kid with a passion for art and no understanding of history, and he could use some love as well.

Day 1: Painting -- Exactly what it says on the tin. While he is clearly skilled at lots of different types of art, this is the one he seems to like the most.

Day 2: Where’s the Yellow? He is the only one who doesn’t wear anything camp-themed. Give us a glimpse of what might’ve happened to that signature yellow clothing.

Day 3: Stage Manager -- Multiple times throughout the series Dolph is shown as Preston’s right-hand man by helping him design sets and acting in his plays; Preston even returns the favor by posing for a painting. Today is dedicated to the strange relationship of the theatre and art kids.

Day 4: Camp Counselor of the Year! Incredibly, Dolph appears to be quite the competent leader for his age, and his one day of running the camp went smoothly for the most part. Maybe he has the makings of a great counselor after all.

Day 5: The Elephant in the Room -- We all knew it was coming. Whether you find the Hitler jokes hilarious or offensive, everyone has an opinion about this particular character choice. Now’s the time to speculate what happens when he gets older, or completely retcon this aspect of his personality, or do whatever you’d like to with his . . . peculiarities.

Day 6: Father Issues -- According to the show’s wiki, “his father is an American lieutenant, who raised him on a German army base where he supposedly gained a love of art and soccer like many Europeans, much to his father's dismay.” Oof, that’s a lot to unpack. Time for backstory!

Day 7: Not Such a Bad Kid -- Despite his . . . controversial elements, Dolph as a character seems fairly sweet and oblivious, and is loved by a significant portion of the fanbase for these qualities. A free day of sorts, this is about accentuating the positive and appreciating the awkward, artistic weirdo underneath the jokes.

Nikki Appreciation Week

I was really close to not including this, because I don’t consider her an underrated character exactly, but Neil has a week and, let’s be honest, it’d be fun.

Day 1: Rough n’ Tumble -- Nikki isn’t afraid of fighting, and she’s no stranger to getting dirty or even hurt. Show the wild child doing something fun, reckless, and probably not very smart.

Day 2: Raised by Wolves -- Imagine an AU where she actually was as much a literal daughter of the forest as she wants to be.

Day 3: Just a Tiny Bit Traditional -- Despite being such a tomboy, there’s a part of Nikki that is deeply romantic and even maternal. Whether through a version of her that’s a bit older or a quiet moment at the camp, show us a little bit more of her gentle side.

Day 4: BFFs, Potential Step Siblings, Sidekicks -- A day to appreciate Neil and Nikki’s relationship, whatever you see that as.

Day 5: Flower Scout Nikki -- What was her time across the lake like?

Day 6: Parent Troubles -- She and her mom have a difficult relationship, and her dad doesn’t seem to be around that much. Show us Nikki and one or more of her guardians, and what that relationship might be like.

Day 7: Holidays! Her first and greatest love is Christmas, but there’s probably not a holiday she wouldn’t throw herself into. Give her a chance to celebrate any holiday you want!

Preston Appreciation Week

Get ready for some high-octane theatrics!

Day 1: A Flair for the Dramatic -- I don’t care what you do with this one, just give it lots of DRAMA!

Day 2: Speak Up -- Preston and his grandmother are really close, but his parents seem to be AWOL. Every Appreciation Week needs a backstory- and/or family-centric day, and that’s what this is.

Day 3: Cosplay -- What’s Preston’s favorite play? Let’s have him dress up like a character in that show.

Day 4: Stage Presence -- Give the boy a spotlight and an audience!

Day 5: The Bard -- He seems to love writing and directing even more than performing. Show him creating the next Hamilton (or more likely, Hamilton’s weird sequel involving pirates and aliens).

Day 6: Theater Nerd -- Either as a high school AU or just some time in the future, image Preston fully engrossed in that drama club life.

Day 7: Tribe -- Every weirdo has their group of friends. Either through OCs or other characters in Camp Camp, give or describe the people that make up the group in which he belongs.

Nurf Appreciation Week

Gaylord Nurfington, much like Shrek, is like an onion: smelly, surprisingly layered, and will probably make you cry.

Day 1: Big N Tough -- He’s built like a brick shithouse and mean as a bear, and that’s part of why we love him. Celebrate the fact that this guy can (and probably will) kick anyone’s ass.

Day 2: Theater Kid? -- We’ve seen Nurf involved in Preston’s productions more than once. Have some fun with his apparent interest in the performing arts.

Day 3: His Mother’s Boy -- Mother and son time!

Day 4: Surprising Depths -- Show Nurf doing something no one would ever have thought he would enjoy and/or be good at.

Day 5: A Thoughtful Bully . . . -- As the self-proclaimed most self-actualized character in the show, Nurf has proven to be remarkably cognizant of his own issues and respectful of others’. Give him a positive-ish interaction with another character.

Day 6: . . . Is Still a Bully -- But let’s be real: Nurf can be a total jerk. Let the kid be mean today!

Day 7: Knives -- Where the hell is he getting all of those, anyway? Regardless, show Nurf with his favorite toys.

Flower Scouts Appreciation Week

They’ll kill you with a smile and fantastic hair, then they’ll use their drug contacts to bury the bodies.

Day 1: Grace & Class -- No one is prettier and daintier than these angels -- and nobody knows it better than them.

Day 2: Nicer than Disneyland -- Whether you’d like to focus on their shady cookie dealings, the washed-up Miss Priss, or even invent your own Scout, give yourself a chance to explore a part of the Flower Scouts that hasn’t been given much screentime yet.

Day 3: Sasha -- A day dedicated to the quintessential Queen Bee. Manipulative, clever, and pretty damn selfish, Sasha is undoubtedly the leader of the Scouts, and you better respect it.

Day 4: Erin -- If your heart hasn’t been captured by this heterochromatic science nerd, this day is not for you. But for the rest of us, grab your pumpkin spice and head off to Fraaaaance to celebrate her!

Day 5: Tabii -- What she lacks in common sense she makes up for with being absolutely terrifying. Tabii-with-two-eyes-with-one-eye is an emotional rollercoaster, and she deserves a little bit of love today.

Day 6: Not-So Delicate Girls -- From drug empires to vats of acid, the Flower Scouts have proven that they can kick a whole lot of ass. Show off how tough these girly-girls can really be!

Day 7: Garden Mother Kevin -- Come on. You knew it was coming.

Woodscouts Appreciation Week

They might be the cartoon answer to what would happen if Stormtroopers were body-swapped with Boy Scouts, but that’s part of their charm.

Day 1: A Shadowy Organization -- No girls are allowed, they don’t appear to have a troop leader, their camp is impenetrable, there seem to be maybe 5 Scouts at most . . . Pick something cool about this creepy camp and play around with it.

Day 2: Bitter Rivalries -- Between risky bets against Camp Campbell and popcorn/cookie sales against the Flower Scouts, it seems like the WS have a problem with basically everyone. Depict one or more interaction between them and their most bitter enemies.

Day 3: A New Recruit -- How on earth does Jermy fit into the Woodscouts’ routine? How has he not accidentally (or not-so accidentally) been incapacitated yet?

Day 4: Fearless Leader -- He’s slimy in more ways than one, but he keeps Troop #818 together and has even managed to snag a few recruits. That alone is worth a day of appreciation.

Day 5: Strong & Silent -- For someone who doesn’t talk much, Petrol has a lot of good advice and personality. Let’s celebrate his bromance with Snake, his willingness to be sacrificed for the WS, or even just his stubborn refusal to try leg day even once.

Day 6: Call him Snake -- Prince Zuko Billy might not be the most dignified character on the show, but he’s certainly the most honorable and is deadly with a candy cane.

Day 7: Like Family -- I just want to see some Woodscouts bonding, with each other or a character of your choice.

[eddycurrents]

For the week of 25 February 2019

Quick Bits:

Action Comics #1008 continues “Leviathan Rising” from Brian Michael Bendis, Steve Epting, Brad Anderson, and Josh Reed as the DEO is the next organization to be taken out. Great art from Epting and Anderson as the intrigue continues to unfold .

| Published by DC Comics

Amazing Spider-Man #16 gives us a prelude to “Hunted”. The mix of Nick Spencer’s humour with the subject matter of Kraven setting up an animal villain hunting network feels a little weird, but I want to see where he’s going with this.

| Published by Marvel

Avengers: No Road Home #3 adds new wrinkles to the tale as we find out that Nyx’s quest has affected Nightmare while another bunch of the Avengers search for a shard of her power. Love the narration and spotlight on Rocket Raccoon this issue. Great work all around from Al Ewing, Jim Zub, Mark Waid, Paco Medina, Juan Vlasco, Jesus Aburtov, and Cory Petit.

| Published by Marvel

Batgirl #32 concludes “Old Enemies” as Batgirl and Jason Bard reluctantly team-up to stop Cormorant. It doesn’t go as well as you’d hope, with Mairghread Scott leaving a lot of questions for future issues and setting up a continued rivalry. The levels of intrigue through the story are very compelling.

| Published by DC Comics

Betty & Veronica #3 continues the conflict between Betty and Veronica over a misunderstanding. It’s interesting as to how these things come about simply through a lack of communication and willingness to discuss the problems between two friends. Jamie Lee Rotante, Sandra Lanz, Kelly Fitzpatrick, and Jack Morelli capture the high school drama very well.

| Published by Archie

Black Hammer: Age of Doom #8 sees the return of Dean Ormston to begin a new arc on a strange new world. Like the revelation before of where the heroes were, this is another big change as we follow Lucy Weber in a relatively “normal” world. 

| Published by Dark Horse

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #2 sets another high water mark for this rebooted series, capturing the spirit and essence of the original, but updating it for current audiences. The reintroduction of Spike, Drucilla, and Cordelia are great, especially the characterization that Jordie Bellaire gives her. She’s not presented here as a catty mean girl and I think it will lead to a more nuanced, interesting conflict between her and the Scooby Gang in the beginning. Also, the art from Dan Mora and Raúl Angulo is perfect. Seriously perfect.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Captain America #8 continues this trend of Adam Kubert delivering some of the best art of his career. Kubert has always been a good to great artist, providing memorable work with Wolverine, Uncanny X-Men, and The Incredible Hulk, but in recent years he seems to have given a concerted effort to top his own already high bar of quality. The visual storytelling, panel compositions, layouts and transitions through this issue are phenomenal. Thoroughly gorgeous artwork from Kubert with colours by Frank Martin. 

| Published by Marvel

Crimson Lotus #4 twists the tale again with a bit of misdirection and a demon monkey with a revolver. I think more stories need demon monkeys with guns. John Arcudi, Mindy Lee, Michelle Madsen, and Clem Robins up the stakes heading into the conclusion.

| Published by Dark Horse

Daredevil #2 is incredible. Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto, Sunny Gho, and Clayton Cowles seem to be shooting for a masterpiece with “Know Fear” and it’s shaping up very well so far. Gorgeous artwork, coupled with an intriguing mystery, this really isn’t something that should be missed.

| Published by Marvel

Detective Comics #999 concludes “Mythology” and it basically convinces me that Batman is completely batshit insane at this point. I’m not sure if that was supposed to be my takeaway or not, but it seems to be the most logical conclusion to “Bruce tries to kill himself every year”.

| Published by DC Comics

Fantastic Four #7 continues Doom vs. Galactus. The artwork from Aaron Kuder, John Lucas, Marte Gracia, and Rachelle Rosenberg is incredible. There’s a very nice epic scope to the action.

| Published by Marvel

Fight Club 3 #2 is incredibly inventive. There are quite a few moving pieces that aren’t exactly wholly explained, but it’s amazing as to just how much information is really in the art, with this issue giving more context to what was happening last issue pretty much right in front of us, and I suspect the following issue will likewise better inform this one. This kind of recursive storytelling really fits the fractured mindset of “Balthazar”. Also, the art is insanely good, with very unique application of mirrored concepts and a frame that acts as a portal to somewhere else. Chuck Palahniuk, Cameron Stewart, Dave McCaig, and Nate Piekos are really creating something special here.

| Published by Dark Horse

The Flash #65 concludes “The Price” crossover with Batman from Joshua Williamson, Rafa Sandoval, Jordi Tarragona, Tomeu Morey, and Steve Wands. Spinning out of Heroes in Crisis, it’s a dark conclusion, leaving the heroes kind of beaten down despite a “victory” and Flash’s world more or less in shambles. With an epilogue hinting at worse down the road with “Year of the Villain”, while this is interesting now, I’m not sure how much of a repeat of bleak futures where heroes distrust heroes and everyone loses I can handle. That said, “The Price” itself has been an entertaining arc with some heavy development between Flash and Batman and another important puzzle piece in what’s going on in regards to whoever’s working to bring Batman, and likely every superhero, down. With some phenomenal art from Sandoval, Tarragona, and Morey.

| Published by DC Comics

The Forgotten Queen #1 begins a mini-series focusing on the villain War-Monger, fleshing out her backstory as an unwitting marine archaeological salvage crew search for her, from Tini Howard, Amilcar Pinna, Ulises Arreola, and Jeff Powell. You needn’t know anything about War Monger’s, now Vexana, previous appearances before as this can pretty much be enjoyed on its own and seems to be acting as a way to really build her up into something greater. To that degree, this is a great start. Compelling stories both in the present and the past, showcasing Vexana seducing Temujin, with very nice art from Pinna and Arreola.

| Published by Valiant

Freedom Fighters #3 pushes hard the plot point that in order to truly help America rise again and fight back against the Nazi occupation is to give the people hope and have them believing in Uncle Sam again. It’s a quaint idea and I love that Robert Venditti tackles the approach from both angles amongst the Freedom Fighters in regards to application of their efforts. Also, again, the artwork from Eddy Barrows, Eber Ferreira, and Adriano Lucas is stunning.

| Published by DC Comics

Hardcore #3 pushes the narrative further over a cliff to the point where Drake is now essentially falling, trying just to survive, as everything pretty much explodes. The action in this series is palpable as Andy Diggle, Alessandro Vitti, Adriano Lucas, and Thomas Mauer seem hellbent on making this as exciting a thrill ride as possible.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Hellboy and the BPRD: 1956 #4 is a bit of a turning point with Bruttenholm suffering a loss, the set-up for what happened to Varvara in the intervening years between her early days and the present, and what prompted Bruttenholm to drag back Hellboy. I really quite like Mike Norton’s take on Varvara.

| Published by Dark Horse

Ice Cream Man #10 is part two of “Hopscotch Mélange” and this strange reveal of the history of the Ice Cream Man and his brother the Cowboy. This one gives us a tragic love story, partially in Spanish.

| Published by Image

Invaders #2 deepens the mystery of Namor’s motivating factors and his apparent secret history with Professor Xavier. Carlos Magno handling present day scenes and Butch Guice the past works very well for the storytelling. It gives the flashbacks a dark, gritty feel that separates it from the current day.

| Published by Marvel

Justice League Odyssey #6 sees Dan Abnett take over writing duties, joining Carmine Di Giandomenico, Ivan Plascencia, and Andworld Design as the stakes in the Ghost Sector are raised a bit. Among the chaos of this area of space and the repercussions of Darkseid’s designs, there’s a nice character moment between Jessica and Cyborg.

| Published by DC Comics

Martian Manhunter #3 dives into J’onn’s arrival on Earth and how he became John Jones from Steve Orlando, Riley Rossmo, Ivan Plascencia, and Deron Bennett. While I’m riveted by the overall story, the art from Rossmo and Plascencia continues to be thrilling. Amazing layouts, character designs, panel compositions, and an almost psychedelic approach to the colours elevate this story so much.

| Published by DC Comics

Marvel Comics Presents #2 is still an oddball little anthology, with the serial Wolverine lead and this time a Fantastic Four and a Gorilla-Man back-up. On the one hand, it deals with time and the past, which is a key theme in the Wolverine story and a byproduct of the nature of the Fantastic Four tale, which takes place in the ‘50s. It’s kind of weird seeing something like this taking place in the actual time that it would given the original release of Fantastic Four back in the ‘60s, but Mark Waid, Djibril Morissette-Phan, Dan Brown, and Joe Caramagna give us a decent Cold War story. And then there’s the Laphams’ (with Lee Loughridge and Caramagna) Gorilla-Man story, which is good with Ken dealing with his attitude toward his gorilla spirit, but doesn’t necessarily fit that time or out of time theme.

| Published by Marvel

Oliver #2 delves deeper into the social structure of this world and into Oliver’s nature. Gary Whitta, Darick Robertson, Diego Rodriguez, and Simon Bowland are giving us a very interesting reimagining of Oliver Twist, with drop dead gorgeous artwork.

| Published by Image

Peter Cannon: Thunderbolt #2 is brilliant. Kieron Gillen, Caspar Wijngaard, Mary Safro, and Hassan Otsmane-Elhaou are creating a story here that acts as a de facto sequel to Watchmen on one hand, but is also a very clever deconstruction of that story, its structure, its characters, in order to present something unique. The little human elements of Peter and Tabu are sweet and the art is freaking awesome.

| Published by Dynamite

Punks Not Dead: London Calling #1 is the welcome return of Sid and Fergie in this second series from David Barnett, Martin Simmonds, Dee Cunniffe, and Aditya Bidikar. It picks up pretty much right where the first book left off, and continues the pair’s quest to find Fergie’s dad while the rest of the world deals with the paranormal fallout.

| Published by IDW / Black Crown

Quincredible #4 sees Glow help Quin rescue his parents, then launch into an investigation of the powers behind the escalating gang warfare. I’ve really been enjoying what Rodney Barnes, Selina Espiritu, Kelly Fitzpatrick, and Tom Napolitano have been doing on this book, with the coming-of-age tale and family drama, but this one really cinches things as it brings together the shared universe aspect of the Catalyst Prime world.

| Published by Lion Forge / Roar / Catalyst Prime

Redlands #11 is somewhat disquieting as we learn more about Z’s dead friend, Jake, who is currently inhabiting Nancy’s dead body. Jordie Bellaire, Vanesa Del Rey, and Clayton Cowles are doing a wonderful job of continuing the disturbing horror elements of this series, while broadening the characters and wider plot.

| Published by Image

Savage Sword of Conan #2 travels deep into Stygia as Conan and Suty search for the treasure from the map burned into Conan’s mind, while navigating through the terror unleashed by Koga Thun’s cult. While a bit more straightforward in its narrative, this tale from Gerry Duggan, Ron Garney, Richard Isanove, and Travis Lanham is holding its own against the equally excellent story unfolding in Conan the Barbarian. Like that one, this feels like Conan. It feels weighty, bloody, and dangerous with a compelling quest in front of him.

| Published by Marvel

The Silencer #14 starts a new arc from Dan Abnett, V. Ken Marion, Sandu Florea, Mike Spicer, and Tom Napolitano as Honor gets accustomed to her new old role as Leviathan’s cleaner. Great action sequences as always, plus the added benefit of Honor’s husband investigating her life since he can’t accept that she’s dead. That should add some interesting complications down the road.

| Published by DC Comics

Star Trek: The Q Conflict #2 divides up the crews amongst teams for the immortals and sets them off on their first challenge, to recover an Iconian gateway device. I think this is a very interesting way for a crossover between the different eras to occur and the art from David Messina, Elisabetta D’Amico, Alessandra Alexakis, and Carola Borelli is wonderful.

| Published by IDW

The Superior Spider-Man #3 concludes Ock’s battle with Terrax. This is really a wonderful showcase for the art from Mike Hawthorne, Wade von Grawbadger, and Jordie Bellaire. The action throughout the issue is very well done.

| Published by Marvel

West Coast Avengers #8 has Jeff, the land shark puppy, and that’s all you really need to know about whether or not you should buy this. Because you should. For Jeff. Do it for Jeff. Also, there’s an interesting plot regarding abductions that Noh-Varr thinks is Skrulls, but you mainly want this for Jeff. Kelly Thompson, Gang Hyuk Lim, and Joe Caramagna deliver a fun start to this next arc.

| Published by Marvel

Wonder Woman #65 concludes “The Grudge” as Wonder Woman confronts Nemesis again, gains a new understanding, and sets off on a new quest. Nice art from Jesus Merino, Andy Owens, and Romulo Fajardo Jr.

| Published by DC Comics

Wyrd #2 continues this entertaining madness from Curt Pires, Antonio Fuso, Stefano Simeone, and Micah Myers, with possibly and even more out there back up from Rockwell White, Pires, Martoz, and Myers. This go around, we get the British Prime Minister getting his kit off with a pig and gaining supernatural powers. It’s dark, it’s strange, but it’s also very good.

| Published by Dark Horse

Other Highlights: Atomic Robo: Dawn of a New Era #3, The Avant-Guards #2, Black Panther #9, Bone Parish #7, Books of Magic #5, Captain Marvel: Braver & Mightier #1, Cloak & Dagger: Negative Exposure #3, Corto Maltese: The Secret Rose, Die!Die!Die! #8, Edgar Allan Poe’s Snifter of Terror #5, Firefly #4, Hack/Slash vs. Chaos #3, Hex Wives #5, Invader Zim #40, Jim Henson’s Labyrinth: Coronation #11, John Wick #5, KINO #14, Mage: The Hero Denied #15, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #36, Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur #40, Old Lady Harley #5, Outcast #39, Princeless: Find Yourself #5, The Realm #11, Rick & Morty #47, Rose #17, Spawn #294, Star Trek vs. Transformers #5, Star Wars: Doctor Aphra #29, Summit #13, Wasted Space #7, The Wicked + The Divine #42

Recommended Collections: Barbarella - Volume 2: Hard Labor, BPRD: Vampire, Clankillers - Volume 1, Cold Spots, Cyber Force: Awakening - Volume 2, Euthanauts - Volume 1: Ground Control, Faith: Dreamside, Fire, Ninja-K - Volume 3: Fallout, Redneck - Volume 3: Longhorns, Spider-Geddon: Covert Ops, Typhoid Fever, The Unexpected: Call of the Unknown, The Weatherman - Volume 1

d. emerson eddy is running out of things to say in his end piece credit attribution. Tune in next time to find out if it’s finally done him in.

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Fairy Tail S2

It seems like Gray was too pretty so they decided to dress him down a bit

“Are you and Loke going out?” I mean in a manner of speaking they are bonded for life

Don’t stand him up Lucy that’s not very nice - I stand corrected he apparently doesn’t care 

DON’T BE CREEPY JUVIA LET GRAY LIVE 

“Would you get OUT OF HERE?” Lucy’s reaction to thinking other people like her is the same as mine

“What is this strange sensation I’m feeling?” rohypnol

Fgdfjghdkfjghkjfdkjhg IT’S A RIVALRY POTION THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER

GRAY’S GONNA TRY TO FLY OH MY GOD

“And so Lucy’s bad luck with men has crossed into a second consecutive episode” 

THAT’S RIGHT YOU FIGHT THAT ARROGANT HORIZON BABY

Those boat boys are so nice constantly looking out for Lucy

Lucy.... you are a wizard.... you have spirits who can help you stave off attackers

Papa Heartlessfilia returns to be a dick to his daughter once more

“You loooove her” “Watch it or I’ll punch your face in, Cat!” that is not a no Gray

Every time Lucy is remotely in danger Gray, Natsu and Erza run like the wind to be with her she is so adored

“The uniforms aren’t all that bad if you ask me,” said Gray, in a bowtie and underpants 

I can’t believe that they’re teaming up with One Direction

They didn’t exactly send the most diplomatic members of the guild 

“DO NOT TOUCH” same Lucy same leave the underage girl alone Hibiki

“I’m so over the posing” “I think they’re starting to grow on me” Lucy and Gray’s snarky asides about the Backstreet Boys are giving me life 

Maiden of the Sky sounds like a celestial spirit name but it seems pretty soon after the whole Loke thing to do another wizard-is-really-an-otherworldly-being and also Virgo is technically the maiden

Wendy is kind of young to have become a dragon slayer more than seven years ago how old was she when that happened like 5?

At this point it’s just like blue hair = related to Jellal

Lyon, upon seeing a bunch of adorable cartoon squirrels: What are they, Goblins?

“I’m the fastest man alive” is that so Toucan Sam

I can’t believe Jellal stopped to rob Erigor of his clothing lmao 

“You’re a ventreeloquist?” Gfgkfdjhjfdkdkjghfkgl Natsu pls 

Lucy has chemistry with literally everyone I mean she’s probably gonna marry Natsu but everyone she interacts with would marry her

Don’t use the enemy’s vehicle Gray he’s probably gonna take your magic away

Gray @ Lyon: Be my riding bitch

“That’s weird, why are they taking off their clothes?” Because they are ridiculous

I guess Racer isn’t so quick with monologues 

What the fuck when all’s said and done Lyon wasn’t even that bad he hasn’t really hurt anyone he did not deserve to be Goku’d in Racer’s Cell attack

I gotta say though, the fact Lyon sacrified himself specifically for Gray was also very Extra like bruh you were just talking shit about how you’re not friends

“No matter the era, the ones who triumph are the rich” He’s a literal capitalist puppet

I am expecting Karen to come up based on the images of Aries and Leo in this intro so right now my best guess is that Hibiki knew Karen and when he sees Lucy’s spirits Nirvana will affect him

“I guess Evil Natsu wouldn’t be much different than Normal Natsu” Natsu is chaotic good

“He’s got plenty of info on Lucy, a newcomer to Fairy Tail, definitely easy on the eyes. He likes the whole package” GRAY’S ATTRACTION TO LUCY HAS BEEN #EXPOSED

Since Angel is a celestial wizard she probably has Aries 

Oh wow my theory about Hibiki was actually very accurate I’m almost surprised

My darling girl Lucy offering her life for her spirits and giving all the Zodiac hope for a better future <33333333333

YASSSS LUCY GETS A POWER-UP I AM LOVING THIS GO HIBIKI

“Why does she look like she fought a tornado head-on?” Hate to break it to you Lucy but ur the tornado

I knew Lyon wouldn’t be gone for long that death scene was too ambiguous

“Wow Natsu, where’d you find that get-up?” said the shirtless man with patterned skinny jeans

That was a beautiful speech Jellal but why does everyone thinking killing themselves is the solution to everything like calm down for a minute

Erza is so strong she just hoisted herself and a full grown man from the edge of the tower she was dangling on

“Now, the world is doomed,” Jellal still retained his penchant for dramatics I guess

I know Jellal has made Erza’s life a living hell but also now that he’s an amnesiac I kind of want them to make out

“Stupid hot-head nearly gave me a heart attack” You’re giving him Gray hairs Natsu

Props to Fairy Tail for actually having different members win different battles like a lot of anime prefer to have most battles eventually finished off by the Chosen One but they actually do a good job of letting Natsu save his strength and usually only fight once or twice depending on the situation

 I’m very concerned about why the babes are crying in the intro who is hurting them 

I just want an in-character season commentary of Lucy and Gray making snarky comments about everyone they know

Is Dragon Slaying really a lost magic if Natsu knows like five dragonslayer at this point

Cobra: I’m not lonely look my best friend is with me it’s this snake

Lmao @ Natsu biting his enemies

Omg have my character commentary dreams come true Gray and Lucy have not stopped their asides

“I think it’s just cause that’s the kind of thing villains do” Gray doesn’t have any time for villainous tragic backstories

“I can’t wait to see your face as I twist your body apart” calm down Edward Speculum Hands

I LOVE IT WHEN PROTAGONISTS LIST THE FLAWS IN ENEMY ATTACKS GO ERZA

I like how Erza’s artificial eye (for all intents and purposes, a disability) is continuously portrayed as a strength rather than a weakness

So it’s sort of like Zero is to Brain as Voldemort is to Tom Riddle like neither one is good but one was perceived as charismatic and had goals and the other was like “my crazy lifeforce magic has induced albinism also I’m here to murder everyone”

IS HE SERIOUSLY GOING TO MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE

“What happened?” Divine intervention??

HIBIKI MY SMART BEAUTIFUL SLUTTY MESS

REN, SHERRY, LYON, HIBIKI, EVE I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU

They weren’t crying they were rising from the ashes my babies I’m gonna physically weep 

Happy looks like he’s seen into hell jfc

Jellal, swaying from side to side as he tries to walk: I’m perfectly fine

How dare you Jellal I was rooting for you

“Although I have no recollection of acting like a vile cretin, it seems that was the case” I don’t know what I love more this psyche out, Jellal holding himself accountable for actions he can’t remember, or the fact he calls himself a ‘vile cretin’

I’m proud of Jellal for sending a replacement not all characters have such foresight

“Know that whatever happens, I, Igneel, will always be proud of you” why is this dragon a better dad than Lucy’s actual dad

Amazing Gray popped out of that collapsing building like a firework

“Who’s that, another pretty boy from Blue Pegasus?” lmao I guess Lucy and Gray have never seen Jellal’s actual face

Erza confessing quietly confessing to her feelings to Jellal while pink squirrels mime their inner affection is my jam

BLOCKHEAD IS BROTHERS WITH THE CAPITALIST PUPPET THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

I can’t believe Jellal’s last name is Fernandes

On one hand it makes sense that Richard and Jellal pay for their crimes but on the other hand Jellal literally can’t remember doing anything wrong and they’ve both since reformed

Gdfgjhdfkjghkfjdhg every single member of the alliance would risk their freedom not only for Jellal but for Erza’s happiness 

Just OTP things: When one of them doesn’t have a name and the one goes “yes you do” and gives them one

Blue Pegasus and Fairy Tail are so ridiculous it’s great

This is deeply traumatizing for Wendy all she’s ever known was a lie

But if they were all illusions how did they make real clothing for the girls 

“Sherry!” “Ren!” Does this imply not only the Lyon reciprocated Sherry’s feelings but that EVE AND REN WERE A THING

“Snakes aren’t manly enough to fly” Elfman pls

GAJEEL “I’m a dragon slayer too, when do I get my flyin’ kitty-kat, huh?” I CNA’T BREATHE

I hope Gajeel wants to be her partner I will fucking weep

Gray seems so sombre and sinister as he talks about the dragons I don’t trust this

“I’m through with Fairy Tail and I’m through with all of you” Gray is going full Sasuke what is going on

I’m crying the way they measure Gray’s realness is by how often he strips

I love Erza:

Elfman: You’re gonna need a man with you

Erza: No

Um?? Why would Gray do this??? Where is he really?? What is going on

I’m very upset about all this if Gray was going to go dark he would need the length of an entire arc to justify instead of this random garbage betrayal which is probably filler

“You can’t have Fairy Tail without Natsu. That’s not even a possibility!” That’s gay

Natsu’s inner voice: [Gray] can’t help that he’s awesome

Honestly this filler is 1/10 if they are going to have Gray and Natsu properly at odds in the future I need it to be at least 500% more homoerotic

[willreadforbooze]

Hello fellow boozie readers!

Sam’s Update:

It’s Magical Readathon!! Working hard to be a Metal Charmer. It was also the last week of Tome Topple, so I was reading those hefty books. 

What Sam finished this week:

Care of Magical Creatures: The Ruin of Kings by Jenn Lyons: I’ve only just started this last night so I don’t have much context. As far as I know, one dude is in jail, his lady guard seems supes evil. They’re both telling prisoner’s story but from different timelines. That’s literally all I got.

What Sam’s reading now:

It’s O.W.L.s Magical Readathon bitches!!

Brooding YA Hero: Becoming a Main Character (Almost) as Awesome as Me by Carrie Ann DiRisio: I’ve been meaning to read this for AGES and I am so excited to. This is a book written by our very own Brooding YA Hero and I’ve only just started.

Evermore by Sara Holland: This is the sequel to Everless and I’m listening on audio. Again, only just started.

Ginny’s Update:

Currently Reading:

Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly: Well, I’m about out of time with this one (the library is a cruel but fair mistress) so I’m not sure I’m going to be able to finish it before it disappears but this book, so far, is looking at the cultural expectations around women’s anger. Which is fascinating and frustrating.

The Professor and the Madman: A Tale of Murder Insanity and the Making of the Dictionary by Simon Winchester: With a title like that, how could I not read it. It is very strange reading two non-fiction books at the same time, but whew is this one a trip. It is exactly what the title says. The Oxford English Dictionary took 70 years to put together the first edition and one of the people who supplied to most words was in an insane asylum for murder and general mental illness. So far, I’ve just read about their backstories leading up to the dictionary stuff. But man, history is weird.

Completed this week:

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant: Man, once I got far enough into this it was impossible to put it down. Yup, killer mermaids. Baller (I wish I said this ironically, but tragically I mean it 100% seriously). I’m planning on reviewing this one, but just, feel free to read it before I get to it.

The City of Stairs by Robert Jackson Bennett: Hell yeah! I had a good book week, as in the books I read were all good. The magic in this world is incredibly interesting and I really enjoyed the way this book looked at gods and yet again, I’m thinking about reviewing this so I’m not sure I want to give too much of my review away. 

The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang: It’s not a Ginny week if there isn’t at least one romance novel? Stella Lane is somewhere on the Autism spectrum and only cares about work, but she wants to get more comfortable with men because her parents straight up told her they wanted grandchildren (and whoa is that a way to start a book) so she hires an escort. This was hilarious and awkward and just in general was a really fun read. 4.5/5 

Minda’s Update:

Between Endgame and GOT Battle of Winterfell, I’m emotionally spent.

What Minda finished:

Illuminae by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff (Arithmancy) – This 100% kept me on the edge of my seat and I really enjoyed the files/emails/chat format. May have a review to go with the one already in existence.

The Oracle Queen by Kendare Blake (Potions) – This is a prequel to the Three Dark Crowns series that came up from my library recently so I threw it in to make sure I got my six O.W.L. exams in to earn an Exceeds Expectations! I liked having the backstory here and felt like it definitely informs the series.

What Minda is reading now:

Wonder Woman: Warbringer by Leigh Bardugo (Transfiguration) – Almost done with this one for my final O.W.L. exam! It’s been such a blast doing this readathon, even if I’m a little off track from what I meant to read, including…

Tigana by Guy Gavriel Kay – Yes, yes, still hoping to read by book club this Friday. We’ll see! I’m starting the Bookémon Badgeathon, May 3-17, this week, too, so this will count for the The Fantastical Badge. Stay tuned for the TBR!

Linz’s Update:

What Linz read:

Mosquitoland by David Arnold: Charming and dark self-discovery story of a girl with divorced parents, who runs away from her dad to see her sick mom. Highly recommend, definitely loved.

Rayne & Delilah’s Midnite Matinee by Jeff Zetner: this was a great example of a book I should have marinated on more before I rated it. It’s good, it’s really good. Two best friends who run a basic access show are on the cusp of graduating from high school and figuring out what their next steps are in the world, and those next steps could pull them apart. The conflicts are good, the voices of the characters are believeable, and there’s some great surreal absurdity that make this fun and unusual. But there is a bonkers…it’s not even a subplot, but it SHOULD have been a subplot. And this isn’t a spoiler because it’s SUCH a one-off. There’s this sort of throwaway reference 2 or 3 times to the main characters’ mutual friend who moved away and made new friends, and like a bunch of them DIED? And the only reason this seems to exist is for a main character to compare to the losses in her own life? (Except her own losses weren’t, like, comparable to that kind of loss.) And it’s frustrating because this really was a fun, lovely book otherwise.

To Best the Boys by Mary Weber: Fantasy standalone where boys can get higher education and girls aren’t allowed to do shit. One town has a competition every year where all boys complete for a university scholarship, but this year, two girls sneak in to compete. I like the love interests, I wish there’d been a little more magic, and there’s one plot thread I wish had been wrapped up, but I enjoyed the twists and it was overall a very satisfactory read.

What Linz is reading now:

The Last Romantics by Tara Conklin: During a public appearance, a poet explains the story of what inspired one of her most famous works (which is really the story of her family and the major incidents that affected them). So far, I’m into it, but it just took a turn and I’m curious to see how it resolves.

 Until next time, we remain forever drunkenly yours,

Sam, Melinda, Linz, and Ginny

 Weekly Wrap-up: Apr 22-28, 2019 Hello fellow boozie readers! Sam's Update: It's Magical Readathon!! Working hard to be a Metal Charmer.