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#she probably banned him
chessuga · 4 months
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I think it’d be so funny if Dream had really shit taste in books. Like he has a whole library filled with every piece of literature ever written and yet he prefers the really trashy YA novels. Mans is dating a uni professor yet reads Colleen Hoover or something
Bonus points if he has no idea how terrible his own taste is because my guy is oblivious as hell
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t4tav · 4 months
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When I worked at Wendys I made a baldurs gate au where they all worked in fast food because I'm fun and normal and this was my go at translating the netherese orb since stressing Gale out aggrevates it :)
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otaku553 · 2 years
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More Klee and Albedo ageswap au!
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the-terrible-theys · 1 year
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made yet another alignment chart
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no one seemed to fit in the blank spot well so i left it empty. also i’m putting more elaboration on this in the tags because there are few things i love more than overanalyzing everything ever.
i just know chris and aviva have SO many arguments about this
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monty-glasses-roxy · 5 months
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I just had the funny thought of Roxy lowkey 'abusing' her power as a security node to allow herself a little pettiness by eventually figuring out how to ban Gregory off EVERY attraction of the PizzaPlex, INCLUDING THE FREDDY-CENTERED ONES, since she is part of the security while Freddy isn't. Now they might figure out a way to undo this in some areas, but it would still be inconveniencing them for at least a couple hours which Roxy takes as a win. Or, when it happens they can tell who is responsible and have to figure out a way to make Roxy undo it, which I highly doubt she'd do without some demand or strings attached.
Oh she's absolutely abusing her security power for this and everything else ever lmao
It would be pretty funny if they can't override it at all and had no idea what the problem is. She doesn't even have to just ban him! There's normally at least two or three doors in halls and rooms on your way into the attractions, so she could fuck with him way more here. He can't get through one of the doors for ages and she randomly unlocks it when he's trying to fix it so he thinks he found the solution... only to get stuck by the next door. He goes back through the previous door a few times before that one stops working again too. And oh hey! This door is opening now, but it's only opening far enough to stick his hand under it at most! Sometimes the doors work, sometimes they don't, and neither Gregory nor Freddy know what the fuck is happening, cause Freddy has the same problem now lmao
Freddy asking Roxy is she knows what's going on cause she usually knows when something's wrong. She answers like "oh that's soooo weird... none of us are having that problem that's wiiilldd..." Doesn't even try to cover it up that she's messing with them cause what are they gonna do? Override her? Good luck with that!
Why just doors though? She could be a little shit in other ways too I bet. Interferes with Gregory's Fazwatch a little bit so when he calls Freddy from Mazercise or wherever, Freddy thinks he's in Gator Golf. She could randomly make it start blasting Never Gonna Give You Up, and if they don't know she can do that, they'd have no idea what's going on lmao
He tries to find anyone on the cameras and they just don't work all of a sudden. That's soooo weird! It's such a mystery that he hasn't seen Roxy on these things since that night!
That could be what gives her away, but they can't prove anything so they can accuse all they like lmao. They keep trying to catch her out but they don't know how she's doing it or where she's hiding out to do it. Can't track the signal cause they don't have that kind of clearance. They try to get her back too by banning her from various Plex areas but like... obviously the security animatronic can just... bypass that...
It's not like she's hurting them or anything! She's just waging psychological warfare on them for shits and giggles! She's inconveniencing them at best and it's driving them up the wall cause they can't figure out how to stop her lmao
What would she even demand from them to make it stop? Would she even want anything, or would this be entertainment enough for her to just keep playing the clueless innocent card in the most unconvincing way possible? They know it's her but they can't prove it and get her into trouble for it and she's living for their frustration over it.
Bonus: She doesn't even watch most of the time. She could potentially have randomised how the doors react to both of them so they can lose their marbles with minimal effort on her part. She's absolutely this petty lmao
Maybe she locked Freddy out of his own attraction and his room in Rockstar Row too. I bet she's done that a good few times. A bunch of kids staring at him as he struggles to open the door and he has to very awkwardly pretend he's lost his keys or something, only for it to open when he leans on it so he falls on the floor. What's the point in all this power if she can't be funny and abuse it, right?
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king-magppi · 2 years
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//Light Psychonauts 2 spoilers
Honestly I am loving Psychonauts 2 so far the graphics are SOOOOOO good and you can HEAR the budget increase on the soundtrack. Ough everything is so shaped and colorful I'm INVESTED... Also update: I really like.. Compton Boole... haven't seen him since he gave me his bowling pass but I look forward to seeing him again. (100%'d Compton's Cookoff too bc I feel the need to collect all the things. This reminds me I gotta go back into Hollis' brain.)
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obessivedork · 2 years
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OK but I’m obsessed with Narek from Picard getting a redemption arc but specifically in a way where Soji rightfully never ever forgives him or (god forbid) takes him back and where even if he becomes reluctant allies with the main crew for the mission of this imaginary season they never really trust him until his moment to prove himself once and for all in the season finale and he has to stumble his way through recovering from growing up in a Romulan doomsday cult and the loss of what was left of his family and build himself a new, healthier reason to live. Also I just think putting someone the gang hates on the ship for a season would be fun!
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lathrine · 2 years
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im reading an article about how vitriolic people visiting the national parks have gotten, and it is SO cathartic to see my exact experiences in grocery retail be restated by the customer service reps working in the parks.
like its awful, obvious. the average customer has gotten so nasty, and the employees Do Not deserve the treatment they’re receiving. but during 2020/2021, people seemed to think that those viral Nasty Customer videos were 1) not common and 2) relegated just to grocery/retail. and i cant speak for every single hospitality and customer service sector and store, but i can say that at my store that sort of vitriolic outbreak became VERY common. not constant, but common enough to bump the baseline up.
my manager and i had a conversation where she said a lot of her friends-- some of whom had been in the hospitality or customer service industry for over a decade-- were considering a career change because it was SO BAD and no one could even fathom how to move forward. none of us could imagine it ever getting better. our New Normal was people screaming at and berating us every day, blaming us for mask mandates and vaccines and supply shortages. threatening legal action and physical violence. of people intentionally trying to get us sick and terrorizing us. everything was an argument with no hope of de-escalation; it genuinely wouldve been less inciting to tell some of those customers “go fuck yourself” than it was to tell them “im so sorry, but.” and all that while we were surrounded by the extremely smothering reality that no one cared if we died and everyone considered us sub-human.
everyone i know who gave a fuck quit shortly after i did, because none of us could handle it anymore. this includes people who’d worked at that store since it opened, some of our most decorated and knowledgeable coworkers.
like. i dunno yall. its kind of like how you cant describe how things just Make Sense as you near the latter half of your 20s; i cant put into words just how horrifically awful customer service was at that time. if you didnt personally experience it, everything we say sounds like an exaggeration and hyperbole.
and i cannot stress this enough: its still that bad. i would imagine most customer service and hospitality places had the same thing happen: a mass exodus of everyone who knew what they were doing because they could not stand the abuse anymore, and a rotating door of new hires that Refuse (rightfully so!!!) to tolerate the abuse. there is a new breed of customer that genuinely Does Not Care about employees and see pleas of humanity and kindness as a challenge to see how quickly they can break the employee at the desk.
this is especially relevant now, with it being the holidays. employees are more short staffed and overworked than ever, and customers some how have even less patience. customers dont plan literally five minutes out, and then blame employees for not materializing their needs before them on a silver platter.
anyways. i dont know how this article ends, but i have a pretty good guess.
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shiningstages · 1 year
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Getting White Day Tsukasa first try, and seeing the newer cards on JP, really makes me wanna write fanfic again..........
#;big bubble blowing baby! ( ooc )#( hi my brain still isn't quite here.........i think i need genuine alone time to Really recharge but i'm not gonna get that#work has really been piling on the hours; and next week is all closing shifts#but thinking about tsukasa saki toya found family / friends stuff..........how toya in any au would also just have connections with#EVERYONE ( this white day and jp white day cards )#akito and mizuki with tsukasa could be a huge bickering found family in a royal au........people please explore this more#the angst that could also come from mizuki going on a journey to find toya / saki / rui but also feeling like she doesn't belong on it#like in the sense that; while she wants to make sure rui is safe; she knows she probably can't change what he's become#and what if that's for the better in order for rui to find his own place and live his own life?? who would she be to take that from him??#the tsukasa and mizuki talks that come from them both knowing rui; but at two different angles..........#akito solely on a journey just to rescue toya; not initially caring about tsukasa's connections to him but then slowly growing fond of#Story Time; “only i truly know toya” says the man that's now grasping at any mention of him#realizing other people can have......well Other People in their lives that they share different experiences with#or that are just as impotant of bonds or experiences#i wanna call it “the folly of knight tsukasa” since he's just. so connected.#of course his main trough line is saki. stayed with her no matter what; doesn't want to stop doing that#but now seeing her with different views as him and striding on her own.......who am i to stop her from happiness part2#there are no concrete thoughts here; just thoughts#kind of like knights ( tsukasa / mizuki / akito ) versus outcast alchemists / magic ( toya / rui / saki )#maybe magic banned..........or perhaps Dangerous magic#saki being so close to nature and strong healing magic; but her sickly body makes it so hard on her#some royal “she should be in the palace” / tsukasa “no she needs to have tea parties with her friends; not starve her body for you”#some royal “many blinking emojis”#toya having like dark magic that he's never really learned about / awakened until his father puts so much stress on him#rui ( royal researcher ) helping him control it but also wield it ( for himself and toya )#toya's dad upon finding out sending him into death; tsukasa helps with an absolute exile / run away type plot instead#tells saki to go with toya so he can keep her safe and out of the royal's minds#the king gets injured by frantic akito and mizuki thinking he's offed their best friends#king uses this opportunity to put out a public manhunt on his son since he wanted him dead anyways#tsukasa freaks and gives up his honor to chase after toyaruisaki
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How its going
#congrats besties and gamers your clown is a fucking dumbass who decided she could do many things#tbf I fucking. Got farther with the WC au tonight with Ban#but that is a Monster Fic. its going to be like 40 chapters long#I mean Im super fucking excited about it but goddamn#debating breaking into blanks inbox for help writing its thing because I am a Fool who bit off way more than he could chew#Ill probably wake up in a fervor and write staggedduo in the middle of the night for Aspens thats just how it goes with those two#I WANT. TO TALK ABOUT. RIVALSDUO MASS EFFECT SO BAD. SOMEONE PLAY MASS EFFECT SO I CAN TALK#MY OPINIONS ABOUT THEM ARE VERY CORRECT AND YOU SHOULD ALL LISTEN TO ME#.... dont ask about what the concubine fic is about#Philza and Dream being friends??? In this economy??? fuck you they need interactions and Im giving them interactions#SV Dream is just him living cottagecore like with a lot of hurt/comfort and some StagedTrio because I miss them#I had a vaguely smutty idea with Wilbur and MerDream and its not my fault and also Blame Tired. Tired Should Always Be Blamed#but its me so it was intended to be mostly silly and wholesome#the Sap and Dream thing would technically be considered almost done/already done Im just. Terrified to look at it. Its so ugly#It was born out of anger and vague fairy tale related bullshit#We're not gonna talk about that last one. I just do not have the energy to write that anymore#It was fun while it lasted though#yes this post is an excuse for me to yell about my writing that I havent posted yet YES you have seen through my elaborate disguise#now that I rambled bit Im actually excited about working on this stuff again#even if I dont have a lot of people to talk about my writing with its nice just typing in the tags. very lovely very freeing#you should all try this. why doesnt everyone try this#wait someone is still reading this??? What the hell. Send me a chicken emoji in my askbox or something idk
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cleolinda · 9 days
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AITA for banning my husband and father in law from the delivery room due to their intensely stressful/creepy behavior during my pregnancy?
There’s a famous Reddit post from 2020 where a pregnant woman wrote that her husband and father-in-law were a little too comfortable with their certainty that she was absolutely going to die in childbirth just like her husband’s late mother. It was to the point where her FIL was insisting that she go ahead and put all her clothes into storage, because she was obviously going to die in the hospital and it would save them the grief of packing up her things afterwards. Like. It was WILD.
When I tell my husband [that she feels suspicious of her FIL], he calls me paranoid, but I feel like my FIL WANTS me to die; his whole life identity for the past 35 years has been “amazing single dad” (never dated or had close friends or even hobbies really), and it seems like he’s looking forward to being able to guide my husband through what he went through. At this point, I’d honestly be happy to never see my FIL again, and I certainly don’t want him in the delivery room, especially since he told me he was “putting [his] foot down” about me not being “allowed” to have an epidural…. My husband, in addition to backing his dad on everything, acts like my due date is my death date, and has completely pulled away from me.
The commenters (and me, honestly) were convinced that the husband and FIL were either going to kill her outright to fulfill this expectation, or just make decisions about her care that might conveniently let her die.
And then she never posted again.
Over the last four years, people have frequently mentioned that post, always leading to a thread of people saying, “Oh god, I still worry about that woman.” I did too. It became one of those famous unresolved posts that people always wondered about.
Until yesterday, when someone on r/BestOfRedditorUpdates dug up a 2022 update she had posted on a different account:
TLDR; I had a beautiful and healthy baby girl, and I divorced my ex-husband. I lived, obviously.
She writes that she put her foot down about having her own mother in the delivery room rather than her FIL (!), and she WOULD be getting an epidural. Her husband lost his shit. And in his outburst, he let slip--
I admittedly lost my temper, and told him that I wasn’t going to die- it wasn’t my fault his father’s trauma wormed it’s way into his head, and that he needed to fix it without taking it out on me. He yelled at me that he didn’t need therapy. That caught me a little off guard; I asked him why he went to his therapist and was given advice about my death if he felt he didn’t need it. His expression gave it away, and he caved not long after. It turns out there was no therapist. It was just his dad. During the times he was supposed to be at therapy, he was with his dad. I’m still fuming.
And that was when she got the fuck out.
I’ll wrap this up- I’ve got an adorable little toddler tugging at my leg atm. I’m alive, I’m happy, and I’ve got my baby in my arms. Life is good.
I truly never thought we'd see a resolution to this, and I feel like there's probably a good number of people who remember it, so I thought you might want to know.
ETA: Brilliantly, I put the link in at the top; here it is again for convenience.
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grunge-mermaid · 5 days
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today the algorithm gave me a French tv show about a Mika superfan and she was travelling to London to "try to meet him" (post-TBWKTM but pre-OOL)
what I was expecting: she's just going to a concert and will try to meet him at the stage door, but the tv crew have arranged a surprise meeting
what I was not expecting: this woman straight up fucking stalking him- analyzing the railings on the front stoop in an instagram pic and triangulating the location of his house from an interview where he was picked up at home without realizing it was an abandonned street used as a decoy, asking random strangers if they know him or his family and where they live, even chasing someone's golden retriever through a London park because it might have been his dog
(ETA: I have tried to fix the Doo/Door tag typo FIVE TIMES and it won't stick so I give up)
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autolenaphilia · 4 months
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God, Matt Mullenweg is a dumbass. He could just have let his staff ban predstrogen, ignore her harassment and kept quiet, and he would have gotten away with it. She is a trans woman and people literally get away with murdering us, and the majority of the people who care are fellow trans women. Don't get me wrong, he will likely still get away with it, but he made this a bigger problem for him than it would have been otherwise.
Like this is more evidence that rich people are not smarter, they are often quite dumb. They don't work harder, and have quite easy jobs. Matt at this point has one of the easiest jobs in history, just let the money from wordpress being 40% of the internet roll into his bank account and relax. And he still managed to fuck that up.
That's because he took the quite minor controversy over Predstrogen being repeatedly banned personally for some reason. I'm not sure why, probably he thought his site being accused of transmisogynic moderation practices was a blow to his self-image as a cool tolerant dude.
And then he proved the critics point by repeatedly misgendering her, and singling her out by him, the ceo of tumblr, personally justifying her being banned. And then arguing about it with randos in replies and even dms. Like he points out himself that "We generally do not comment on individual cases." That's generally a good policy for a ceo of a social media site to have, Matt, don't ever make an exception to it, no matter how upset you are about "misinformation" that you are a transmisogynist.
Like his company's PR team must have been literally asleep or off the clock, or he didn't consult with them beforehand, because if they were in any way competent they would have told him what a bad idea this was.
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elvesofnoldor · 7 months
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can't believe blackwood farm is just a cheesy text-based supernatural fantasy romance rpg game. quinn is just a blank-slated self-insert player character. He gave off "player character who can be selected as either "male" or "female" on the start-up screen but the choice doesn't impact the story whatsoever because the dialogues and choices would be literally the same" vibe. Meanwhile, lestat, former villain, current anti-hero, now a featured bisexual love interest that everybody calls "playersexual". This book has only one purpose, and it is to let you imagine what's like to want to fuck lestat through the perspective of the most pathetic most livejournal fanfiction.net self-insert character ever who also happens to be a bit louis look-alike. This book is so fucking bad, but at least it's hilarious.
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dsm--v · 3 months
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reasosn for me to be tumblr ceo instead of matt
im younger and probably will live longer so i can watch tumblr flourish (hes forty)
im shorter so i can reach into crevices. how does this help tumblr? well i can reach into the servers and clean them so tublmlr works mbetter
im cool and i have more husbands AND wives than him
i dont think trans women and transfems should be banned :)
i recently passed a math test and i bet he hasnt done that in a while sooo
i have more pronouns (he/him AND she/her)
he like created wordpress sure but can he recite the first twilight movie?
im very active on the tumb
i have. sprout and i don’t think he has a best friend for life slash girlfriend
vote me for tumblr ceo 2025 :smile_cat:
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theostrophywife · 4 months
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azúcar.
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pairing: mattheo riddle x reader.
song inspiration: baby by madison beer.
author's note: benjamin being active on tiktok is dangerous for my health. i actually feel like i'm about to crawl on the ceiling from how badly i want this man. literally tweaking. anyways, enjoy 😊
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There were a lot of quidditch related superstitions you were willing to put up with. 
Wearing the same socks during every match. Kissing your boyfriend good luck before every game. Even the rowdy common room parties that you and Mattheo often snuck out of to have a celebration of your own was a tradition you welcomed with open arms. 
But this was not one of them. 
“It’s absolutely absurd,” Pansy huffed, her sleek black hair grazing her chin as she tucked her legs underneath her on the velvet couch. “Blaise has lost his mind.” 
“Sounds like you’re the one losing it, Pans.” 
Pansy rolled her eyes. “You would too if your boyfriend suddenly announced a sex ban as part of some weird quidditch superstition.” 
Since the start of the season, the quidditch team had taken a few hits. Usually, the boys dominated the other houses, but they barely won against Hufflepuff and came to a draw against Ravenclaw during the last game. Ending in a tie was apparently the last straw because the day after the match, Blaise told Pansy that the team had taken a pact of celibacy. 
For some deranged reason, the boys believed that abstaining from sex for a week would help them secure a win for the rematch on Friday. For the next five days, they intended to sleep, breathe, and eat quidditch. Apparently, your feminine wiles would have to be set aside for the meantime. As if sex were the problem and not their constant drinking and partying, which probably contributed to their lack of focus as a whole. Not that the boys would listen to common sense at this point. 
You scoffed. “Please, Mattheo wouldn’t last a day without sex let alone a whole week.”
“Don’t be so sure,” Pansy said rather bitterly, picking at the cushion in her lap. “The lot of them are taking this entirely too seriously. Blaise won’t even allow himself to be in a room alone with me.”
”Well, Zabini has a surprising amount of self-control. Mattheo, on the other hand, is perpetually horny. There’s no way that he agreed to such a ridiculous pact.”
“Lucky you,” your best friend said with a long suffering sigh.
You nudged her knee with your foot and smiled mischievously. “Don’t worry, babe. I’m more than willing to help. Blaise may be disciplined, but he’s also just a man. What do you say we pop into the village? I think I saw a lace emerald lingerie set that had your name all over it.”
Pansy perked up at that. “I knew I came to the right person.”
Your best friend smiled as you hooked your arm through her elbow. “Of course you did. Now come on, let’s bring Zabini to his knees.” 
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Sprawled out on Mattheo’s bed, you flicked through the pages of your novel and waited for your boyfriend to return from practice. The trip to Hogsmeade had been a complete success. Just as you suspected, the little set you glimpsed through the lingerie store window looked absolutely stunning on Pansy. Blaise didn’t stand a chance. 
As a matter of fact, you’d given the two of them privacy tonight. They were due for a study session at your shared dorm tonight, but you quietly slipped out in the midst of their heated argument about the Goblin Rebellion and happily skipped off to your boyfriend’s room. 
Given the late hour, Mattheo was due back any second now. As if summoning him from your thoughts alone, your boyfriend sauntered into the room, looking sweaty and sexy from running though drills all afternoon. Mattheo grinned the second he spotted you on his bed. 
“Hi, princesa,” he greeted, his voice low and husky. 
”Hi, Matty.” You propped yourself up on your elbows and smiled. “How was practice?” 
“Absolutely fucking brutal,” Mattheo grunted as he pulled off his shoes. “Theo clobbered the fuck out of me, but I suppose it’s better him than the Ravenclaws. Mark my words, we’re going to beat those twats come Friday.” 
“I don’t doubt it, babe.” You pushed off the mattress and scooted closer to him. 
Mattheo licked his lips as you neared, breath hitching as you brushed his damp curls off of his forehead. You smirked and leaned in for a kiss. At the last second, Mattheo turned sharply, causing the kiss to land on his cheek instead of his lips. 
“I’m all sweaty,” he explained. You quirked a brow. Sweat, dirt, and grime had never stopped the two of you before, but you brushed it off. He was probably just wound up about winning. Mattheo smiled apologetically and kissed your temple. “Let me shower first and then we can cuddle, okay?’ 
You made the mistake of looking into those big, brown eyes. Damn him and his chocolate eyed gaze. The twat knew it was your weakness. 
“Fine,” you said as you crawled underneath the covers. “But hurry up, I’m getting tired.” 
Ten minutes later, you were fully engrossed in your book again. Just as it reached a particularly steamy scene, the door swung open, revealing a half-naked Mattheo. The white towel wrapped precariously around his trim waist gave you a perfect view of his toned chest and ripped abs, beads of water clinging onto his glistening skin like rain drops. You bit your lip as he tugged on a clean pair of boxers over his legs, cocking your head to appreciate the curve of his arse before he slipped into his sweatpants. 
Unaware of your ogling, Mattheo climbed into bed and wrapped his arms around you. “What are you reading, mi amor?” 
“Nothing that can’t wait,” you murmured, leaning in to kiss your boyfriend.
This time, Mattheo gladly accepted the kiss. His lips slanted over yours, sighing softly as you melted into him. Your kisses were soft and sweet, punctuated by cute little pecks that had your boyfriend smiling against your mouth. You took the opportunity to slide your tongue against his, making Mattheo groan as his fingers slipped through your hair. 
“Damn, mami. You missed me that much?” 
You rolled your eyes at his cocky smirk while you climbed into his lap and straddled him. Mattheo gripped your hips, moaning as your lips latched onto his neck. His pretty brown eyes rolled back as you left a trail of kisses along the column of his throat. You raked your nails along his chest, dragging red lines down to his abs, and tracing his happy trail as he captured your lips once more. Mattheo let out a choked groan as you tugged at his waistband. To your surprise, he grabbed your wrist and blinked up at you. 
“Y/N…” Mattheo said breathlessly. “Maybe we should…maybe we should go to sleep.” His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he tried and failed to swallow his own words. 
You raised a brow and settled over his lap, squirming against his hard length as Mattheo bit his lip. “You want to go to sleep? Right now? While I’m on top of you and willing to do whatever you want?” 
Your boyfriend looked pained. Conflict was evident on his face. Without a word, Mattheo nodded. 
“Oh my god,” you blurted in disbelief. “You agreed to that stupid sex ban, didn’t you?”
Mattheo groaned. “Only for a week, love. We really need to win this match.” 
You scoffed. This was absolutely ridiculous. “I know you, Mattheo. You aren’t going to last a week.” 
“Hey! Have a little faith in me.” 
Rolling off of him, you crossed your arms against your chest. “First of all, you didn’t even ask me if I’d be okay with it.” 
That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. With a shit-eating grin, Mattheo cocked his head at you. “It sounds to me like you’re the one who can’t last a week, princesa.” 
“Please,” you said with an eye roll. “I have my book boyfriends to keep me company. I can channel all my sexual energy into reading smut. You, on the other hand? You can’t even make it through class without dragging me into a broom closet.” 
Faster than you thought possible, Mattheo flipped you onto your back and pinned you to the mattress. A cocky smirk curved against his lips as he trailed them down your neck. “Oh?” he hummed, kissing the sweet spot just below your ear, his hand gripping the inside of your thigh, making you press your legs together to suppress the need. The bloody bastard. “But can your book boyfriends touch you like I can?” 
Channeling every ounce of self-control within you, a calm and unbothered expression clicked into place like a mask. You tugged at his curls, forcing him away from your neck. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about me, Matty. I’ll be just fine.” Mattheo released a choked groan when you palmed the front of his boxers. He twitched at your touch, his cock painfully hard. “Looks like you’re not doing too hot, though. Let me know if you need help. You know I’d be more than happy to give you relief, baby.” 
Mattheo cursed under his breath as his own plan backfired on him. Blood rushed down to his cock as you squeezed gently, making him harder and hornier than ever. You chuckled darkly as he grinded against your hand. With one last squeeze, you kissed his cheek and peeled yourself away from his bed. 
“You know where to find me, papi.”
He watched in disbelief as you gathered your things, cute little ass swaying farther and farther away from him as you hauled your bag over your shoulder. “You’re seriously leaving?” 
You smirked and waved at your boyfriend as you pulled the door open. “I have a hot date with my romance novel. Good luck with your pact, babe. You’ll need it.” 
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Merlin, Mattheo was going out of his fucking mind. 
For Salazar’s sake, he was starting to get the shakes and it had only been two days since he last had sex. Granted, it felt like an eternity since you were more than determined to get your boyfriend to break. Could lack of sex actually drive a person to the brink of insanity? Mattheo was pretty convinced that the answer was yes as he gaped at the lacy red bra peeking out under your white blouse. 
Had your clothes shrunk in the wash? Mattheo could’ve sworn that your shirt hadn’t been that tight before. You were nearly bursting out of it and the view of your tits pressed together as you leaned across the table to steal a blueberry off of his plate made his mouth water and his dick hard. 
“Stay strong, Riddle,” Theo whispered beside him. “We’ve got this.” 
Never in his life had he wanted to throttle Theo more. The only thing Mattheo had at the moment was a painful fucking boner. Three more days. That’s all he had to endure before they called off this stupid sex pact. 
He could make it. Couldn’t he?
As he looked up at you sucking on a strawberry, Mattheo’s confident wavered. You were truly testing what very little self control that he possessed. You were right when you said that your boyfriend couldn’t last a single class without dragging you into an empty broom closet. You were just so pretty and sexy and hot and that was when you weren’t trying. 
Now that you were determined to tease the fuck out of him, Mattheo didn’t stand a chance. 
All day, you focused on making his life an absolute living hell. Perching on his lap, fixing his tie, smiling prettily while you brushed his curls back and left glossy kiss prints all over his cheeks. His hands were in permanent fists, fingernails digging into the flesh of his palm so deeply that he wouldn’t be surprised to find himself bleeding. This was torture. Cruel and unusual punishment. 
The final straw came when the two of you were studying in the library later that night. Bouncing his leg, Mattheo forced himself to pay attention to the Ancient Runes textbook in front of him instead of ogling you from across the table. It wasn’t working though. Every few minutes, he caught himself glancing up at you. Your lips, your eyes, your hair. There was nothing sexual about you taking notes yet he was so turned on that he felt dizzy. 
Mattheo lowered his head, trying to keep cool. When he looked back up, you were no longer in your seat. Instead, you were reaching for a book on the shelves behind you. Whatever you were looking for was on the lowest shelves, so you bent down to retrieve it. When you did, your skirt rode up, revealing that you weren’t wearing any underwear. Mattheo hissed, scrambling to pull your skirt down. 
”What in Salazar’s name are you doing, Y/N?” Your boyfriend gripped your elbow, anger and frustration radiating off of him in waves. 
You blinked up at him, putting on an innocent smile. “Oh!” you exclaimed, placing a hand on Mattheo’s chest. “Did I forget to wear underwear? Silly me.” 
Your boyfriend groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. He muttered something under his breath repeatedly. Breathing exercises. You bit back a smirk. 
On his third count to ten, Mattheo finally opened his eyes. Without a word, he gathered your belongings and hauled you out of the library. He didn’t speak until the two of you were back in the dungeons. 
“I’m going to study in my room,” Mattheo declared as he handed you your book bag. “You’ll study in yours.” 
You grinned. “Oh, Matty. We both know the only thing you’ll be studying is your cock in your hand.” Mattheo tensed as you traced a finger down his jawline. “What a shame. I’d be more than willing to put an end to your misery if you just admit that the pact is stupid.” 
For Salazar’s fucking sake. Mattheo was so close to calling this whole thing off. He wanted you. Screaming underneath him. Crying from pleasure. Moaning his name. But he couldn’t. He had to stay strong. 
Mattheo sighed and kissed your temple. “Good night, mi amor. I love you. Even though you’re determined to drive me fucking mental.” 
You smiled before pulling him in by his tie. Mattheo groaned as you placed a sweet kiss on his lips, barely giving him a taste of what he wanted. “Love you too, Matty. Sleep tight. I hope you dream of me tonight.” 
With that, he watched you saunter off in the direction of your dorm, skipping through the common room without a care in the world. Mattheo stared up at the ceiling and counted to ten again. 
Friday could not come any fucking faster. 
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You had to admit that you were impressed. Your boyfriend had miraculously survived an entire week without sex. 
Despite your best efforts to thwart the stupid pact, Mattheo stayed true to his word. A pretty impressive feat given the fact that you’d practically thrown everything you had into seducing him. Sitting on his lap, licking your lips while he talked, kissing that sweet spot below his jaw, wearing your clothes shorter and tighter than ever, and even sleeping in his favorite silk red set, which you knew was particularly hard for him if the erection pressed against your back all night was any indication. 
Still, Mattheo withstood all of your attempts. 
You would’ve been upset had it not been for the fact that Mattheo looked absolutely pained by the whole ordeal. This entire week, his fists were permanently clenched at his side, his jaw locking and unlocking with every suggestive comment you threw his way, his eyes flickering over your body, groaning in frustration as he tortured himself by looking at what he couldn’t have. 
It was amusing to watch your boyfriend twitch at your every move. As you predicted, you fared better than Mattheo had. After all, you had a wild imagination and a collection of toys to hold you over. That wasn’t to say that you weren’t needy and aching for him, but you had ways of coping. 
“I’m so fucking glad it’s Friday,” Pansy grumbled beside you as she took a swig from her flask. 
After the whole bring Zabini to his knees plan failed, she’d been crankier than ever. Neither one of you expected either of your boyfriends to even make it this far without caving at least once. 
“Me too, babe. As much as I’m rooting for our boys, I can’t wait for this bloody game to be over. Win or lose, I know the sex is going to be insane.” 
Your best friend smirked as she handed you the firewhisky. “I’ll cheers to that, babe.” 
Surprisingly, the tension and frustration helped the boys play better than ever. They were ruthless on the field. Theo and Enzo were vicious as they defended the goalposts, giving way for Blaise and Mattheo to chase after the opposing beaters, nearly taking some poor bloke’s head off with a bludger. You almost felt bad for the Ravenclaws. 
When Draco caught the snitch, you cheered loudly. You and Pansy screamed until your throat felt raw and hoarse by the time the game was officially called. The two of you swayed as you descended from the stands, slightly inebriated from your generous swigs, but you didn’t mind. The liquor kept you warm and served as preparation for a night of drinking and debauchery for the common room party. 
Blaise wasn’t at all surprised that you and Pansy pregamed. In fact, he took the flask and downed the rest before tugging his girlfriend towards the castle. 
“Have fun, you crazy kids!”
Zabini chuckled. “Oh, we will. By the way, your boyfriend’s waiting for you in the locker room.” 
With a conspiratorial wink, Blaise wished you good luck as Pansy grinned from ear to ear. You chuckled before making your way over to the locker room. The doors opened, revealing a very smug looking Theo. With a frown, you swatted the back of his head. 
“Ow!” The brunette exclaimed, rubbing his newly acquired injury. “What was that for?” 
“For encouraging my boyfriend to agree to this stupid sex ban.” You crossed your arms and glared at your friend. “I know it was your idea, Theodore.” 
“Hey! We won the game, didn’t we? So obviously, my idea was brilliant.” 
“It was just dumb luck,” you replied with a scoff. “Honestly, I didn’t think you guys would take it so seriously. Especially you. You’re even worse than Mattheo. Celibacy for a week must’ve been hell, huh?” 
Theo shifted his weight, looking abashed. You narrowed your eyes at him as you read the guilt in his body language. “You little weasel! You caved, didn’t you?” 
“There was this really hot Ravenclaw…” 
“With the opposing team, too? You’re shameless, Nott.” 
“Please don’t tell the guys.” He looked genuinely contrite as he pleaded with his eyes. “They’ll murder me if they knew that I couldn’t even stick to my own pact.” 
You rolled your eyes. “Fine, but you owe me big time.” 
Theo smiled before leaning over to kiss your cheek. “You’re the best. I’d say see you at the party, but with how tense and insane your boyfriend has been, I probably won’t see you two for the next few days.” 
“I wonder who’s fault that is.” 
“The pact was my idea. Teasing him was yours. Honestly, he almost stabbed a fork through my hand because you bent over in front of him.” He smirked as he held the door open. “You’ve got that man on a tight leash.” 
You fought a smile. “Leave before I get the urge to hit you again.” Theo nodded, making his way out. “Oh, and congratulations on the win.” 
After a cheeky wink, Theo was gone. Leaving you to find your boyfriend on your own. When you rounded the corner, you could hear the sound of water running echoing off the tiled walls. You ventured farther in the stalls and found Mattheo standing underneath the scalding hot shower, tipping his head back against the spray. With a smile, you leaned against the wall and admired your boyfriend. Merlin, he really was beautiful. 
Mattheo was a sight to behold; biceps flexing, abs taut, and back muscles tense as he washed away the sweat and grime. Your gaze trailed down to his trim waist, licking your lips as your eyes snagged on his backside. The longing sigh you released gave you away. 
Water glistened on his skin as Mattheo looked over his shoulder, a playful smirk tugging at his lips as he surveyed you. Your boyfriend didn’t bother covering himself as he sauntered over to you. His chocolate brown eyes roamed over your body, smiling softly when he saw that you were wearing one of his jerseys. Mattheo traced over his surname embroidered right above your heart. 
“The Riddle name looks good on you, mi amor,” he whispered huskily, backing you against the tile. “I can’t wait to make it official one day.” 
You hummed while you tangled a wet curl between your fingers. “Oh? That won’t be happening any time soon, Matty.” Mattheo frowned as you caressed his cheek. “Not with the way you’ve neglected me this week.” 
“Don’t be like that. You know it was hell for me, princesa.” 
“I know,” you said with a grin. “I’m just teasing you. In reality, I’m kind of impressed. You didn’t cave once even when I threw everything I had at you. You were so good, baby. You crushed those Ravenclaws too.” Mattheo groaned as you kissed his jaw, nipping at his sweet spot. “Maybe the pact wasn’t so stupid after all.” 
Your boyfriend groaned as he gripped your hips and pinned you against the wall. “Oh, I won’t be doing that shit again.” Mattheo rested his hand on the base of your throat, eyes black and filled with lust as he squeezed. “It was torture not to touch you.” 
When you spoke, your voice sounded husky and seductive thanks to his possessive hold. “Could’ve fooled me. You seemed perfectly in control. So much so that maybe we should extend it another week. Abstinence really helps clear the mind, doesn’t it, baby?” 
Mattheo chuckled darkly. He knew you were baiting him. You weren’t used to not getting what you wanted in your relationship. Your boyfriend was well aware that he spoiled you rotten. You were going to make him work for it tonight, but he didn’t mind. In fact, the idea thrilled him. He wouldn’t have been dating you if he wasn’t up to the challenge. 
Without warning, Mattheo tugged you into the shower, making you squeal as the water soaked your clothes. He wasted no time before crashing his lips onto yours, claiming you in a starved and possessive way that had you gasping for breath. Your boyfriend was frantic as he hoisted you up and wrapped your legs around his waist. 
Mattheo sucked harshly at your flesh, his dark chuckle a seductive caress against your skin. You groaned as he grinded his cock against your clothed pussy, which was already throbbing and aching for him. “Brace yourself, sweetheart. We have a whole week to make up for and we’re not leaving here until you’re properly punished for teasing me like the little brat that you are.” 
You flashed him a saccharine smile. “Do your worst, baby.” 
“You’ll regret that, mami.” 
With a wicked grin, Mattheo slid your panties to the side and teased along your folds. He hissed when he felt how soaked you were, practically dripping down his fingers as he eased one into your pussy. You bit down on your lip as the delicious pressure awakened a familiar heat in your core. 
“Not so brave now, are you?” Your boyfriend taunted as he slowly fingered you. After going without, you were embarrassed to find that a simple touch was enough to set your teeth on edge. “This is payback, baby. Wearing those tiny little shirts with your lace bra peeking out. Bending over in front of me knowing that you had no panties on. Grinding on my lap and making me so fucking hard that I almost sprained my wrist wanking off in the restroom like a madman.” 
“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.” You rasped, groaning as Mattheo picked up the pace. “Not if this is what I get in return. I like when you’re rough, Matty. It makes me wet.” 
Your head lolled back as he added another finger, curving them inside of you and reaching that spongy spot that had you seeing stars. 
“Good,” Mattheo whispered as he nibbled at your earlobe. “Because I’m about to fuck you until you can’t walk.” 
The filthy words sent you over the edge. Mattheo flicked his thumb over your swollen clit and you clenched around his fingers. “I can feel you squeezing me, pretty girl. So fucking greedy, hm?” 
You let out a choked moan. Mattheo grabbed your wrist and slid your hand down his front. “Do you feel that, princesa? I’ve been hard as fuck for you all week. Are you gonna be a good girl and help me out?” 
“Yes,” you breathed out. “Let me take care of you, papi.” 
Mattheo twitched in your hand as you gripped him, tugging as he watched you with lust blown eyes. The intensity of his stare made butterflies erupt in your stomach. 
“I thought about this while getting myself off this week. Your hands. Your eyes. Your voice.” 
“I thought about you, too,” you confessed. “But it doesn’t compare to the real thing. God, you’re fucking sexy.” You rubbed your thumb over his tip, rubbing his precum over his head. Mattheo whimpered against your neck. “I missed you whimpering for me.” 
“I don’t whimper,” Mattheo countered. 
You raised a brow and picked up the pace, working him until his eyes rolled back. Despite his denial, Mattheo whimpered even louder this time. 
“You’re playing dirty, baby.” 
“I thought you liked it dirty, Matty.” 
“I do,” he said with a smirk before curving his long fingers inside of you. You shuddered as he hit that sweet spot. “Now come on, pretty girl. Come with me.” 
You nodded, picking up the pace and groaning as Mattheo pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. He licked the roof of your mouth, shuddering as he bucked into your hand. You tugged at him, coaxing him to cum as he panted against your neck. 
“Fuck. Don’t stop, baby. I’m so fucking close.” 
“Me too, Matty,” you whimpered, grinding against his fingers to take more. 
The orgasm crackled over you like a lightning strike, singing your veins with heat as your boyfriend continued to fuck you with his fingers. Mattheo wasn’t satisfied with one orgasm. He coaxed another out of you, laughing as you greedily bucked against his hand, biting into his shoulder while the second wave hit. 
By the time your third orgasm rolled around, you genuinely felt as though you’d left your own body. Mattheo only relented when your eyes rolled back and your legs trembled, cries of his name falling sweetly from your lips. 
“Tú eres dulce como el azúcar.”
You opened your eyes slowly and found Mattheo lapping up your cum, swirling and sucking his fingers clean with a smirk. You’re sweet like sugar. Though the words were seemingly innocent, Mattheo was anything but. Your boyfriend knew exactly how much it turned you on when he spoke Spanish and he was definitely using it to his advantage.
“That was just the appetizer, baby. Got you all warmed up for my cock. Think you can take it, Y/N?” 
“I’ve been waiting all week,” you responded hoarsely. 
“It’s worth the wait,” Mattheo declared cockily as he flipped you over. He stripped you of your clothes, carelessly tossing them behind his shoulder while he positioned your hands on the tiled wall. You groaned as he bent you at an angle, smacking your ass before he lined up behind you. “I promise to fucking ruin you, mi pinche puta.” 
Anticipation coiled in your stomach as Mattheo sank in slowly. Both of you groaned as he slid all the way in, twitching as he stuffed you full. It was familiar yet new at the same time. It had always been a tight fit, but given your involuntary break, you could feel yourself struggling to adjust to his size once again. 
Mattheo gripped your hips, leaving bruises in his wake as he slid all the way out. You whined at the loss, but it wasn’t long before he thrusted all the way back in, knocking the air out of your lungs as he set a punishing pace. You braced yourself against the tile as he spread your legs further apart, allowing him to hit an even deeper angle. 
“Oh fuck, how do you always feel so good?” Mattheo grunted as his hips snapped against your ass, brutally burying himself inside of your pussy over and over again. “You were made for me, princesa. We’re perfect together.”
”Matty, baby, please…”
You keened as Mattheo tugged you by the hair, kissing you sloppily as he continued to ruin you. He cupped your tits, flicking his thumb over your nipples as he squeezed your flesh between his rough, calloused hands. Mattheo kneaded your breasts and used the momentum to drive deeper. His palm trailed down your torso, pressing against your stomach to feel himself moving with each thrust. 
Tears streaked your cheeks as your eyes rolled back. “Oh gods. Fuck me. Right there, baby. You fill me up so good. I love being full of you.” 
“Yeah?” Mattheo drawled as his hand crawled up your throat. “You like when I fuck you rough? Deep down, you just want to be treated like a slut. Don’t you, princess?” 
“I do,” you breathed, groaning as Mattheo squeezed your neck. “But I’m only a slut for you, Mattheo.” 
“Damn fucking right, baby.” He said proudly. “This pussy is mine. All fucking mine.” 
You clenched, squeezing him so tightly that Mattheo felt like he might cum then and there. “So greedy. Milking me fucking dry. God, you’re perfect. Mi princesa, mi vida, mi amor.” Your boyfriend shuddered as you grinded against him, picking up the momentum as the two of you neared euphoria. “That’s it, baby. Just like that. Fuck, I’m gonna cum—“
”Cum inside me, Matty. I want to feel you. I want all of it.” 
Mattheo cursed, his body seizing as he came with a loud cry. The sensation of him filling you to the brim, his hot cum dripping out of you and coating the inside of your thighs was enough to send you over the edge. You trembled as the orgasm hit you all at once and nearly passed out from the sheer force of it. 
Fortunately, strong arms wrapped around you before your legs could give out from underneath you. Mattheo pulled you against him, holding your trembling body as you came down from the high. You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder as he cleaned you up. Your boyfriend took his time washing your body, taking great care when it came to your sensitive core. 
You smiled up at him as he lathered shampoo into your hair, letting you return the favor and sighing in satisfaction as you scratched his scalp. Mattheo grinned, flashing you a lovesick smile as you rinsed the product out of his hair. 
“I love you so fucking much,” he whispered softly. 
“I love you more,” you countered.
”Impossible.” 
After the two of you dried off, you leaned against the wall and allowed Mattheo to clothe you in his hoodie and sweats. He tied your shoes before giving you a sweet peck. 
“Ready, princesa?” 
You nodded and took his hand. Without the support of the solid wall, your legs wobbled as you struggled to walk. Mattheo caught you around the waist, a smirk tugging at his handsome face. 
“I warned you, Y/N.” He looked entirely too smug and satisfied for your liking. “Told you I’d fuck you until you couldn’t walk.” 
Your boyfriend chuckled as you rolled your eyes. “Poor baby. Don’t worry, mi amor. Let your Matty take care of you, hm?” 
“I take it back. I kind of hate you right now, Mattheo.” 
You squealed as he picked you up bridal style. He didn’t even break a sweat as he carried you across the field. “No, you don’t. But you can fuck me like you do.” 
“Deal.”
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