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#she says she doesn't need any
africanamermaid · 1 month
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Not me as somebody who crochets on the reg getting criticisms/unwanted comments about everything I make:
"You always use the same colors" :/
Me: can't help it I'm a thalassophile and therefore I must always use beige, khaki, turquoise, teal, aqua blues, whites of all shades. Let the coastal creations commence!
"Nice bag. You know, that looks perfect to use only for holidays like Easter"
Me: ...my coastal bag is to be used every time I feel like it. What are you talking about.
"Those oceanic colors don't match with your current outfit so don't use it."
Me: it's not about what looks nice TO YOU but what feels right and fun to use FOR ME.
"Why don't you add (whatever) to your creation. It'd look great if you add (whatever). And, how about next time, you actually use a leather bag bottom instead?"
Me: I don't want to.
"You sure can't take a comment or a slight criticism. Why are you like this?" :/
Me: you sure can't mind your business.
"Why are you doing 2 projects at once. Finish one and start the other I don't get it."
Me: oh you sweet summer child ohohoho...you just don't understand the mind of a crocheter do ya?
"You know, if you make something for somebody it sure won't be coastal themed or whatever. You have to try something different."
Me: who said I'm making anyone ANYTHING? They don't want to pay the correct price for a hand-made creation so that won't be happening. Anyway, ONTO THE COASTAL THEMED SCARF!
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inkskinned · 10 months
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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lucyshypemaster · 3 months
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you will NEVER see anyone writing paragraphs after paragraphs hating on keefe like they do with sophie.
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bumblingbabooshka · 3 days
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Tuvok Voice: You are her official right hand while I have been making detailed psychological observations about her for the past four years - we are not the same.
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[Patreon | Ko-fi]
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hephaestuscrew · 7 months
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One of the many Wolf 359 script directions that is Important To Me is this bit from Ep15 What's Up, Doc?, which comes after Hilbert has been threatening to tell Minkowski how Eiffel ended up on the Hephaestus:
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cleric4vampire · 2 months
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There's something in this life left to live or, giving these two fools a soft moment because they deserve it. not gonna lie, I got a bit emotional when making this. I wrote something from Astarion's perspective to go along with it:
Once upon a time we pressed against an unyielding tree trunk, just like this. Once upon a time we hid ourselves in the obscuring night. Now, the moonlight paints your smile bright and boundless. We were not unwilling back then, though an ocean laid between us. I pressed my body atop yours and went somewhere else. How could I have known that you would follow me there? You were the one who was supposed to be under my thumb. I was the trickster moved by your silver song. You were the cradle that held me safe when all I wanted was to fall into the abyss. You were the gentle voice that beckoned, Open your eyes. See what could be if you loosened that white-knuckled grip you keep on your fear. Sometimes I find myself slipping into the old movements — a flutter of lashes, a dangerous smile — and then I remember. I remember that you were with me at my darkest and ugliest and most utterly heartbroken, and still you told me, It is an honor to witness you. It is a privilege to be by your side. And I let that ancient rhythm fall away. I was free to walk off that tired path, and now, everything is new. How will life surprise me when I allow myself to participate? I was struck with wonder to know that there are people in this world like you. Could you have ever guessed we would end up here, back when we were strangers on the hillside? I didn't have the strength to imagine it. Now, I find myself thinking: Where will we end up tomorrow? What wonders will we behold? There will be such love and such joy, and such hardship to balance it. But for the first time, I feel I am courageous enough to face it, because I am not alone anymore. I will be with you here, beneath this moonlight, beneath this canopy. And afterwards, I hope you will imagine with me all the life we have left to live.
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blueskittlesart · 10 months
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do u have any navi thoughts from your oot replay
i've been waiting to answer this until I actually beat the game in my current playthrough because navi is another one of those characters that i think of in like a "set" with several other characters who serve relatively the same thematic purpose; in this case that purpose being the "mother" character, and i wanted to have all the characters in that set fresh in my mind. it's notable that while oot shows us very clear and consistent instances of the ways in which the adults of hyrule fail to protect their children, there ARE several adults who DO go out of their way to both oppose ganondorf and protect and nurture the children under their care. All of these characters are adult women, and all of them explicitly help the children out of some sort of parental responsibility or sense of duty towards them. in this group I include link's late mother, impa, nabooru, and navi.
all 4 mother characters, despite being adults or adult-coded, reject the inaction mentality which characterizes other adults in the game. they become either direct supports or shields to their children from the conflict the world has to offer them, and they are always explicitly punished for their interference--link's mother is killed trying to protect her son, impa's village is burned, nabooru is brainwashed. The mother's fatal flaw is that she will protect her child above all else, even in a world in which children cannot truly be protected. however, with the exception of link's mother, these characters manage to persist even in the face of her punishment, and this is where I think navi becomes the exemplary character.
Navi, after a lifetime of being link's only support system, the only adult in his life he could truly, consistently count on, receives her punishment at the hands of ganondorf--in the final battle, she is pushed out. she is unable to reach her child. she cannot protect him. However, BECAUSE link has grown up with her at his side, he is strong enough to take ganondorf down. and when ganon rises again, navi is there to support link, promising not to leave his side, and the intuitive targeting of that battle (a mechanic which navi is inherently tied to!!) makes it a cinch to win. Navi, and the other mothers we meet, are a reminder to the player that the world doesn't HAVE to be the way it is. Their persistence when punished, their insistence that their children ought to be protected, is a reminder that good adults do exist, and that good adults raise good children. link and zelda are able to win in spite of the adults who refused to help them, but also BECAUSE of the adults who DID. It's a reinforcement of the core theme of oot--that childlike idea that the world SHOULD be good and fair and if it isn't, it should be changed until it is. The mothers of oot are examples of what the world COULD be, reminders that it is possible to grow up without losing hope or growing bitter, and they are examples of the next step for the children they've raised to change the word--to continue fighting even in the face of punishment, to refuse inaction, and to foster that same hope and persistence in the generations to come.
#one thing i've really been noticing this time around is the specific way in which navi's targeting works#because even though other 3d games have that targeting mechanic navi's targeting is noticeably different#in two ways. the first being that she specifically targets weak spots in enemies almost as if she is pointing them out to link#and the second being that she is capable of targeting things link himself doesn't see#whether it be invisible enemies or triggers that are out of his reach or scarecrow points or whatever#it's really reminiscent to me of the way you teach problem solving skills to a kid. you see them struggling with something and beginning to#get frustrated and you say 'hey let's look around. do you see any solutions?' and if they can't see the solution themself you might point#and say 'hey what's that?' just to get their attention on it and help facilitate that train of thought for them#because like in most other games targeting is sort of assumed to be link's own intuition in battle#and therefore it will usually allow you to focus on one enemy within a swarm of them but it won't explicitly light up the weak spot for you#navi does that for link because she's essentially the mother teaching her kid how to problem-solve.#and when she's taken away in the final battle link is able to fight anyway BECAUSE she put so much time and effort into raising him#that he no longer needs her to facilitate that problem-solving process. he already knows how to beat ganondorf#because he's done it with her before. and that's exactly the mother's role in her child's life#protect him and raise him as best you can so that when you can no longer be by his side he isn't afraid.#foster that sense of justice and encourage him to keep fighting to change the world even when it seems unchangeable.#god. ocarina of fucking time#zelda analysis#asks
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dmclemblems · 2 years
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“Claude in Hopes is exactly the same way he is in Houses! He’s always been like that and has the same feelings/morals!”
Claude in GW/Hopes:
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Claude, literally, in Houses:
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Let that speak for the fact that Claude was written with a 180 characterization in Hopes.
Claude wants peace and to bring everyone together; not to tear them further apart. That is his character.
#I’m still in the middle of answering this ask I got but yeah#even Edelgard noticed Claude really loves bringing ppl together in WC#when she says ''you really value that sort of thing don't you'' after the Eagle/Lion (+Deer >.> ) battle#like if Claude's goal was to destroy Fodlan and just leave a mess of it A+++ you did an astounding show stopping brilliantly done job#if your goal was peace well you fucked that up pretty good buddy#in Hopes too like he's literally arguing with Lorenz about it while Lorenz is like ??? bruh wtf ???#literally who cares what some politicians did 300 years ago certainly not Houses Claude#in fact Claude said fuck our history sideways with a cactus let's make peace and be friends#AND he got the approval from the whole roundtable and that's all we know on the topic bc it's all we needed to know#versus in GW where it's explicitly stated that it took some doing for them to allow Claude to be king#meaning the roundtable was not up for what he was suggesting and needed to be convinced#they needed it enough that Lorenz pointed it out to everyone and from a narrative standpoint#AM Claude doesn't need to say how the meeting went and all we need to know is that it worked out#but in GW it's told to us that the meeting was very long and it took some doing for them to trust Claude's judgment#the meeting is presented in a more uncertain light with how the lords felt abt it whereas in AM#it's not told to us how things went bc it's not important. a negative aspect (i.e. the roundtable not being able to come to an agreement)#is an important thing to note and if there was any negative aspect of it in AM they would've put it in there#meaning the roundtable trusts AM Claude's judgment enough when he tells them he wants to put their two nations together again#idk how else to explain that so I hope you get what I mean lol#I just find it completely baffling that people actually say both Claudes are the same person and that he was always like how he is in Hopes#like you can like his character in Hopes and enjoy that portrayal of him but at least admit he's written differently you know?#I hate when I see people say that Claude fans didn't understand his character in Houses at all bc they don't like him in Hopes#when you have literal staunch polar opposite sentences coming out of his mouth in these two scenes#the Claude we get in AM is the same Claude - the same person at his core - as he is in VW and all the routes#Houses Claude does not blame whatever the fuck Leicester and Faerghus did 300 years ago on the people living in their present#he also doesn't blame Dimitri or anyone else presently in power for Daphnel#GW Claude there is just grasping at unimportant and insignificant straws to justify his invasion#pretty sure AM Claude would be like ''hey dimi lemme borrow failnaught back real quick'' and smack GW Claude with it#then kindly hand it back to Dimi and smile and wave
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charlieconwayy · 7 months
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fryleela meme ♥ [1/8 episodes] → season one, episode 10 "a flight to remember"
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smile-files · 5 months
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there's something interesting to be said about how nickel's female friends have to constantly school him on how horrible he is but animationepic won't say it
#melonposting#spoof#<- kinda#ii neg#<- also kinda#i hate nickel. i need to kin balloon just so i can experience dropping nickel into that stupid cereal box pit#also y'know what to those people who think nickel loves clover... you're right he is kinda obsessed with her#in that he hates her so much for something that he wants (being a likable/good/happy person) <- according to my interpretation anyway#of course he doesn't want/know how to put in the effort to have it#suitcase screamed at him (as she should've) and that didn't go through his thick skull#only clover in her infinite gentleness and grace could let him know that perhaps he should say sorry for harassing someone all their life :#and even then it isn't sincere#like please don't tell me any of you took his 5-second bizarrely emotionally intelligent notes app apology seriously. good god#like i dunno it was just like clover said to apologize and he said 'on it boss'#or what are we just gonna believe that ae was like. y'know what? this guy just needs to say he's sorry#once#out of nowhere#and we won't have to worry about the horrible things he's done to people (cough cough suitcase)#like heck even if balloon accepts this bs it doesn't do jack for her (not like he should anyway)#this idiot's just so far in the socioemotional gutter that after doing a series of horrible things (which he's been made well aware of)#he'll only so much as acknowledge that he did them if it means he gets friendship points from ae's princess celestia#good god man you're not the leader of a stupid team anymore. get over yourself#the funny thing is that the only excuse for his writing lately is basically a headcanon on my end#i'm just reading into this nonsense. as far as i know he's just being written horribly haha#he's interesting to think about in the lens of 'guy who wants to be happy/good/likeable but does not actually care about anyone'#but if i'm being honest with myself to ae he's just 'jerk who's actually nice now. no he isn't. yes he is for real this time (believe us)'#whatever i need to go to bed
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crimeronan · 14 days
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falin's harpy form is Bangin. as i'm sure everyone is already aware. i'm sure everyone who's been telling me to read dungeon meshi has been waiting with bated breath for me to discover just how bangin falin's harpy form is, so rest assured: Wowza. I'd Like To Thank The Academy,
anyway. i'm pretty sure too much plot and drama and murder-horror is gonna get in the way for this to happen, but there's a canon divergence in my head where falin and laois get into a huge shouting match not long after this high-stakes harpy fight because laois is like "if you hadn't saved me then I'D be the one with the sickass harpy form, i can't believe you let yourself get eaten and you DON'T EVEN HAVE A VORE KINK" and falin is like "......YOU ARE AN INSANE PERSON??? I'D TELL YOU TO GO TO HELL IF YOU WOULDN'T THINK IT'S HEAVEN.....??"
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if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?
I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.
Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.
Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.
Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.
Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.
Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.
If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.
So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.
#asks#twdg louis#twdg minerva#twdg clementine#twdg violet#twdg marlon#twdg tenn#honestly whenever i see someone say louis is the boring option i'm just like '.......that's your opinion but also how can you say that??'#then again i'm sure other people look at me saying violentine just isn't for me and they say the same thing so y'know... i can't talk haha#also time is such a weird thing because i look at the entire cell scene in louis' route and like... i'm not even mad about violet anymore#like yeah i still don't believe she was brainwashed like i'm sorry y'all only believe that because kent said something about it#not because there's all this evidence toward it in game like vi being pissed at clementine makes sense she doesn't need to be brainwashed#for it to work like her being vulnerable and easily manipulated into submission makes perfect sense especially with minerva there#it's like everyone was pissed that she attacked clementine and people needed a way to excuse it so it's not violet's fault when like...#that's literally what makes it interesting like calm down it's okay if violet is pissed and scared and behaves accordingly#also my controversial opinion of the day that i'll hide here in the tags so maybe people won't find it sksksk but#I personally find the concept of vinerva and the doomed tragedy of it more compelling than anything violentine did#like i'll defend violentine and i do believe it's an important and good ship it's just not my personal favorite#anyway but then the whole thing with lilly and minerva is so good and louis screaming FUCK YOU at minerva?? amazing love it so good#i love when the soft character who never chooses violence is so pissed off that all that anger they have boils to the surface and it's raw#like... he's SO mad he's SO furious he's SOOO UPSET like he wasn't even like this when marlon died or anything like he hit his limit#and then shooting dorian through the mouth while an accident is just well done i love it and i love his reaction of mortification#and apologizing and YET he still tries to go with clementine he's trembling and can barely string together a sentence but he wants to go#he wants to help her he wants to save aj THAT is the gut reaction he has after everything that just went down#'louis isn't loyal or good for clem because of the vote' babe tell me you don't understand any nuance of louis' character without telling m#it's fine IT'S FINE you don't have to agree and i just have to remind myself that it's fine not everyone likes louis we're okay#this drives me crazy in the best way like y'know what? i love the cells scene in louis' route all of it even the stuff i used to rant about#even the stuff that used to piss me off now i'm just like 'no wait past cj was dumb she wasn't looking at it this way aaaaaaaa' sksksks#that was my tag ted talk about the cell scene thank you
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eerna · 6 months
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crashes my fist against the table. the way Ali has been Nahri's weakness since the beginning, no matter the nature of their bond. Ghassan saw her once and went "oh yes she will adore my famously unlikable son which will make my exploitation easier". she can't help but let herself be led by his optimism and dreams of justice and he is so happy someone appreciates him the way he is that he just holds onto her even stronger. no amount of ancestral hatred and prejudice and distrust could compete with that chaotic resonance and everyone around them could only stop and stare in horror
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problemswithbooks · 6 months
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Shark Genitals & World Building
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So, I've seen this Q&A a few times now and it really got me thinking about Fish-man biology.
Now, to be clear, I think it's pretty clear Oda isn't being entirely serious. When you look at how he designs his characters he goes for whatever is fun. He's not doing extensive research on whatever aquatic species he slaps on his fish-men or Merfolk characters. This is why for a lot of them, if you look up what they are mixed with they rarely share much if anything with the animal he's picked.
Saying a character has two dicks is funny, so Hody has two dicks--that's all.
But taking the answer more seriously the idea that at least some (because they do vary so widely from fish-person to fish-person) have changed genitals because of their added fish anatomy is interesting from a world-building perspective.
As someone who has a special interest in animal biology and has watched a lot of documentaries I can say that fish have really diverse breeding strategies. So, I guess, if Hody can have two dicks because he's a shark, I wonder if this could be true for any other fish-people and merfolk.
We see that at least some fish-people do have children the same way regular humans do, but to my knowledge we don't see any pregnant mermaids. Given how much larger Neptune is then his wife, and how massive Shirahoshi is, I think it makes sense that perhaps like many fish, Otohime laid eggs that were fertilized separately (this is actually how goldfish mate).
It could be possible that the way mermaids or even fish-women have children depends on the father. If they are not compatible in size they can reproduce Ovuliparity (the way I imagine Otohime did), or if they are of similar size they either go the more human route or, after copulation they lay fertilized eggs (like the skate cases often called mermaid purses you find washed up on the beach).
There's also something to be said for the variations fish have with gender. Some fish are capable of changing gender. It's more common that female fish become male (protandry), usually the largest of a group replacing the dominate male in the group. This happens mostly with coral reef fish like wrasses, groupers and parrot-fish.
Meanwhile, anemone fish, like clown fish change from male to female. When the one female dies the remaining male will become female, while an outside male will become that new female's mate.
Then there are Black Helmet fish which are both simultaneously and take turns releasing eggs and sperm when they spawn.
So, if fish-people and merfolk had similarly diverse genders and ways of reproducing I think that'd just be really neat. It could also lead to some fun misunderstandings between fish-people, merfolk and humans.
Of course, I don't think Oda ever put that much thought into it. He just does whatever he finds fun character design wise. I mean, it's not like Arlong has barrels like Sawsharks do, and Jinbe looks nothing like a whale shark. On top of that the story isn't really focused on that type of world building. Nor do I think he could really showcase something that deals so much with sex--even if it is fish sex.
Still, makes for some really great head-canons.
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dootplusone · 3 months
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(OG post has Reblogs turned off. You can find it here!)
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Thinking. Abt this but with Bones. Like. Post-Tholian Web? Post-Mirror Mirror?
For AOS, could be after Into Darkness and/or Beyond.
A Bones who's just. So anxious. So stressed. So overwhelmed that it starts taking a toll on his health. Maybe he doesn't even realise - or maybe he does and tries his best to push through it until it knocks him on his ass. Kind of in the vein of "You don't actually know how tired you are until you stop. And then you just physically cannot start again." It becomes his new baseline, a problem that just brews and storms in the distance.
And he just carries on. And keeps going and going and going until one day he realises that 'Oh fuck, I'm not okay' and has about 5 seconds of warning before he straight up collapses, doesn't matter if it's on the bridge, in the madbay, on a planet - he's going down. (Maybe a repeat of Tholian Web where he just straight up faints into Spock's arms? Full whammy, why not)
Maybe it's a high-tension situation getting resolved that does it. The pure relief of it reminds him of how tired he is. How tired he's been for a while. His body sees that momentary rest and goes "More of that, please. And I'm not asking."
And he's so rendered by it that he doesn't grumble about being coddled like he normally would when he wakes up. He knows not to fuck with the medbay staff - they're just as firm as he is on recovery, and that's not by accident - and he knows that Spock and Kirk will be hovering, because they see any problem as something they, too, should shoulder the burden of.
...And because they're some of the most protective people in the damned universe. And that goes for pretty much all the people on board the Enterprise.
In some scenarios, it's just a case of letting his body and mind rest properly. In others, there's a lot more recovery involved than anyone initially expects. Luckily for him, he has a found family who are determined to be there with him at every step. It just takes a couple reminders, every once in a while.
#leonard bones mccoy#star trek tos#star trek aos#whump#back on my bullshit#aos bones fretting over Jim and Spock and their injuries; completely forgetting that hes also a little worse for wear#thinking back to dustykneed's post abt him being fucked up and grieving after ST:ID and. Lets just make it even more physical#After the issues they face from that; Spirk are more aware of Bones' tendency to brush things off. are more equipped to take care of him#when he needs it; just as he does for them. He's so stubbornly self sufficient and it worries them. But they're equally as stubborn and#loving. Unstoppable Force meets Immovable Object. I feel like post ST:ID is where they kind of Learn that Bones keeps shit on the down low#Because like. Bones will complain. Unless it's smth that's just affecting him. And then he suddenly keeps it to himself. When he complains#abt that whole fiasco he complains abt Jim dying. Abt Spock almost dying on that planet. About how they all almost died. But he doesn't tal#about how HE almost died from that fucking torpedo almost blowing up on him. Not a word. Jim forgot it had even happened until like. Carol#brings it up in passing. Maybe she has nightmares on the incident. But he realises Bones has just NEVER fucking mentioned it despite him#being the master complainer. That sets off the first alarm bells. And then maybe Uhura asks Jim how Bones is doing bc she knows that Bones#would just say he's fine. But Jim is like ??? Bc why wouldn't Bones be okay. And then she realises that HE HASN'T realised that Bones is th#kind of motherfucker to suffer in silence. and she's like Jim. Jim he literally ran himself to the ground trying to revive you. Jim. Are yo#kidding me have you NOT TALKED ABOUT THAT??? ANY OF IT??? Thus... Jim realises or maybe even Remembers what Bones is like#bc maybe at some point he DID know Bones well enough to know when he's fucking himself over. But all the Bullshit that theyve gone through#and the fact they work in entirely different parts of the ship kind of. Alienated them a bit. And suddenly hes like. Oh. Oh No. Oh FUCK.#because Jesus how the FUCK does he even approach this. But he manages it. And Spock gets in on it too as he slowly gets to know the doctor#And then post-beyond its like. Yeah. All three of them gang up on each other. That includes Spock and Kirk making sure Bones is as Fine as#he always says he is.#anyway. Yeah. I just think Bones probably stresses and overthinks too much but god forbid anyone comfort him. Self sacrificing bastard#wow this is a lot of alphabet soup im so sorry AHAHA
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